#I HAVE EOCS COMING UP

[couldyouforgivemeforthatpain]

someone needed to slap me in the face and spit in my eyes four months ago and scream. “being in a musical is the worst idea for yourself that you could’ve come up with! ever!”

[catcorsair]

How is a man to foresee what the Fates have in store for him? How can he predict when his world is to change? Of ever abandoning that lonely bachelor's existence to which I had long-ago grown accustomed, I harbored not a single hope—and then, as if by one thoughtless snip of a shear, I discovered myself no longer a bachelor. Sixty years I had spent in lack of the honest company of a woman and suddenly she was everywhere, in every thought, every action, every desire: I could see nothing past Sophia. Thus the warnings went unheeded, only spiders in dark corners, darting out where they cannot be seen, secrets concealing themselves in the shapes of other things; rarely do those Sisters cut their lines in absolutes. It is the slow unraveling of a thread by which the red strings shorten. But heat makes men mad, and summer is a mad season; despite my attempts to ignore them, the ghosts of Erik’s unsavory history crept up with the rising temperatures. Such specters, I have found, are not so easy to put to rest. The attempt to do so comes too late.

Like Pulling Teeth: Part Six

Read on AO3 HERE

18+ / Very Explicit / EC, EOC, E++ / 50K

Pre to post-Leroux canon. General tags: Gothic, Horror, Drama, Romance, Historical Fiction.

*(edited) cover art by Zhao Dalu

Enjoy!

Please Comment / Review :)

[paradoxbeta]

WHO IS EOC? i am very curious now!!!

>:) okay SO

tumblr picture formatting is utter garbage and i dont want these to take up too much space so im cramming these drawings into one row (or not if this crapsite breaks on me, because it seems to be REALLY fighting me on this, so if it ends up not making a nice little picture row know that i tried my best). but this is effigy of composure!

he has a couple problems, but the big one is that his superstructure has a terrible parasite situation. the parasites are flat, thin, and able to make it into grooves and pipes the inspectors cant reach. flushing out doesnt do much to dislodge them and they breed faster than they can be killed, so theyve happily made their homes in this sheltered, food-rich haven (to the obvious distress and horror of the host iterator). originally the concept for these parasites were much closer to centipedes and had the placeholder name "synapcipedes," but ive since started leaning more towards an obvious tapeworm motif for them because its gross and i enjoy it morbidly. it also has some pretty cursed implications if you think about it for too long which i have decided are funny/really disgusting/so stupid that they have to stay. i still flipflop between considering them centipedes vs tapeworms though and i dont think thatll ever be rigidly defined. the ambiguity is nice to toy with

on the top 10 list of "things that are not fun" having turbo worms has to be somewhere up there, so eoc has it *rough,* and kind of sort of eventually barrels off into the deep end because of it. his futile attempts to clean his own structure are frustrating enough, and the constant feeling of bugs crawling all over the inside of his body (which only gets progressively worse with time) does no favors either. however, the real big reason why he mentally declines is just because there's a ton of centi-worm things eating like fire through his neurons and other what-have-yous that iterators need to think and function. i think if he only got hit with one of these 3 things then he might have been able to hang onto his sanity, but with the triple combo he doesn't really stand a chance of doing much except stalling his functional death. which is good on him because if i was an iterator and my overseers told me i had a structure infestation, my mental health would have just preemptively swan dived off a bridge before anything even happened

anyhow, exponential parasite population growth meant exponential increase in all this other fun stuff, which means the time from the beginning of the infection to the time eoc is considered officially gone is startlingly short (for iterators, at least). it still took quite the while because losing your marbles is a loonnnng process, but still, yikes. its unfortunate because eoc was a real jokester pre-everything, and a cool guy to talk to. he was one of those people who could come up witty comments for anything like hed been ripped from the script of a sitcom. oh yeah, also, should have mentioned this earlier, but he ends up accidentally amassing a scavenger cult mid-insanity which goes hilariously bad because he's barely aware it's happening. nothing really works out for this poor iterator.

tldr: eoc gets parasites, they erode his brain, he goes nuts about it, (accidentally amasses a cult,) dies

[kuliak]

Last few patches were too derivative - switched a lot of signal flow up for this one.

Exploring more settings too. Chords are Piston Honda under heavy modulation, through Milky Way for Reverb, then through Data Bender. EOC of the volume envelope goes through Maths to create a slew envelope to control Data Bender's mix parameter, so the glitches swell only "after" the note and just affect the reverb tail but then get ducked again at the next note.

Three Body through Sinc Bucina is the core of the west coast-y voice. I'm using Vice Virga as a sort of 4x2x2 switch array so it goes through either Magneto or Rainmaker before the final mix.

There's a very subtle bass of Banshee Reach through QPAS then Melotus Versio, though it only comes in towards the very end.

Master pitch/transpose comes from DFAM, clocked very slow and quantized.

Main kick, snare, and one hihat variation come from Akemie's Taiko modulated by Traffic. Now that I have enough free function generators, I'm able to use a Maths channel to slightly delay the trigger so parameters can update before Taiko triggers. I like a lot of the sounds, and there's a lot of cool sounds to explore. Due to the range of sounds the module can make, it can be a bit hard to dial in with just 3 parameters - I wish I could have something like PV44, but Traffic is good enough for the size for most uses. Probably just takes more practice to dial them in - I remember getting some amazing kicks out of AT when I was just starting out.

Additional hihat and cymbal from Tyso Daiko and Crucible respectively. Whole mix does through Ikarie then Erbe-Verb. The metallic room reverb sounds amazing on percussion, but using it as such loses my ability to pan sources around with Jumble Henge. Is it worth it to use a handful of VCAs as a sort of wet/dry control to get the panning and stereo reverb? Probably. Lots of fun new ideas fo keep exploring from this patch. Also, I need more cables, again.

[yvtro]

Two questions that I'm genuinely interested in your answer for (bc I love your metas ngl) but I totally get it if you don't answer.

What's your biggest unpopular opinion on Jason, and your least favorite popular/fandom opinion on him?

disclaimer: i’m moving blogs. still here to go through my askbox, but you will find me at @boyfridged most of the time.

i'm very flattered, thank you!! and sorry this took me so long to answer. and it did take me so long 1. because it’s really hard to tell what is actually an unpopular opinion (i did thankfully find myself in a circle of mutuals who mostly share the same intuitions when it comes to his character) and 2. because I mentally put a label on it “asks to get me assassinated.” and I guess the take that i have requires quite careful wording. 

so, my unpopular take is that from in-universe point of view, jason shouldn’t be a vigilante, and it would be best for the storytelling around him to focus on this fact. and i’m not saying that in a mean, moralistic nor diminishing way. i just think that jay’s storyline is a story of everything that can go wrong with a sidekick, and of how vigilantism can traumatise people into oblivion, and completely annihilate their ability to function normally. part of it is a result of the fact that imo jason isn’t naturally suited for vigilantism (that is not to talk about his skills nor efficiency in it, i will get back to it shortly), and part of it is a result of the circumstances in which he was introduced into it, and of course the subsequent trauma.

you could say “uhm every superhero story is like that, he’s not special,” but typically, when you think about characters such as bruce wayne or dick grayson etc., the event that comes to mind when you think about their biggest trauma is something that… pushed them into vigilantism? and vigilantism supposedly helped them in some ways? (it can be argued against, but that’s an underlying assumption) (+even without a tragic backstory, characters usually have much more agency in their decision to become vigilantes). and in case of jay, his biggest trauma isn’t anything that came before robin, and his life was awfully fucking sad, so i think that it says something. his biggest trauma is associated with what he went through already as robin and then retraumatising events that followed his resurrection. 

it’s really puzzling to me that this distinction is never deliberately written about nor truly brought up in comics…? i think the closest we came to this was, ironically, starlin’s run (when alfred straight up suggests that maybe robin just isn’t good for jason) and countdown (where jay intends to leave the superhero community altogether). 

okay, so you can say: vigilantism is kinda shitty for you. breaking news, we’ve known this already.

except there's something, in my opinion, that makes jason’s case special and more nuanced. it seems, at first glance, that with all the love and compassion jason has, he should be great material for a vigilante still. but he clearly isn’t. why is that?

the crushing proportion of other characters have moral systems, coping mechanisms, and understanding of vigilantism that make this life at least possible for them. on the other hand, jason’s personality, his lived experience, and his moral stance makes vigilantism extremely unsustainable. i mentioned it before in my post about eoc, but most (especially 1st gen, but not only, i’d argue that most former teenage superheroes also came to this point as well) vigilantes, even if associated with love and compassion as the core of their actions, have understanding of vigilantism and moral codes that jason doesn’t possess. (for a long while i was on a “jason has a moral code but it’s casually bastardised by most writers” team but since then i have thought about it a lot and my current take is that he was good at following orders as robin, and has some provisional rules as the red hood, but they’re nowhere near an actual code. as i said in the linked post, i think morality is more of an on-going emotional practice for him). and it all makes sense! let's circle back to bruce for a moment. of course, the reason for which he doesn’t kill is grounded within his own beliefs, but he is also very painfully aware of the thin line that vigilantes walk on when it comes to the law and being trusted by the public. i'd argue he is very conscious of the fact that being a vigilante comes with responsibility of cultivating a certain ethos. he had a lot of time to think about it! in many ways, he invented it. and it’s practical. it's what makes this life possible.

jason doesn’t have it. jason’s idea of vigilantism isn’t carefully designed nor sophisticated, jason’s idea of vigilantism is that he is in the field and he has power to do things, so he has to do them. he has to trust his moral intuitions. and in many ways, he’s not wrong – it's not a flawed view to hold, especially not in the ordinary life. but that also means that there are no lines that he won’t cross if he thinks he can help or fix the situation. but in the world that batman introduces us to (a world in which, to quote le guin on an unrelated matter, there’s no ends, but only means), it’s self-destructive. to compare him again to bruce, bruce is self-sacrificial, but his conceptual understanding of vigilantism and his moral code protect him in some ways. jason’s moral judgements and actions are unrestrained and radical (not to say that they’re reckless or inefficient; he’s still a great strategist and can be even overly careful if it’s required). and that is set in a world where evil never stops. we already know that the joker will always come back, for example. what does it mean for jason? he will try to match the energy, of course, and he’s not stopping either. bruce is similar in that aspect, yet he has a whole insurance set that helps him deal with extreme situations. there's an offset. and jason doesn’t have any. he won’t ever hit the breaks. i think you know where i’m going with this metaphor. 

so i guess my take is that… bruce’s outlook on vigilantism is, against the popular opinion, very rational. but jason just brings his heart into it and nothing else. and that’s just catastrophic.

this is really me just pushing the “love is his fatal flaw” agenda again tbh, but with additional emphasis on why the same trait isn’t that tragic for other characters who share it. also this is why it’s so crucial to me that he should have a civilian arc… 

and as to my least favourite fandom opinion on him, i can't think of anything very specific right now, but my general pet peeve is anything that divorces his characterisation from his 80s personality. i think you can tell that i really dislike painting him as resentful towards dick, and all takes that indicate that he's always been cynical and distrustful toward the world. i think a lot of people want his storyline to be one of someone who has, from day one, been full of rightful anger, but the thing is that it has not been his story to begin with. he had to be pushed really far for this to happen. and this is what makes him so special compared with most anti-heroes – that his story starts from a genuine place of innocent and naive hope and love despite all he suffered.

[wolftheidioticfan]

IT WAS WAY TOO MUCH TO DO EVERYONE AT ONCE I JUST DID CHANCE'S CHARTS. IF YOU WANT OTHER CHARTS ASK FOR THEM. Anyways Chance's charts + generally the bosses....sorta. explained.

Boss relevance in ooorrder of Chance meeting them (all during story. I can talk about after story stuff later.)

EOC (eyeball object head humanoid guy in au :) ): Sore loser, originally showed up to scout out who Chance was since he sensed her in the world. Kicked the everloving shit out of her unprepared ass. Later summoned by her to fight since the Guide told her that in order to get stronger, this was a good start. LOST (SOMEHOW???) and became extremely bitter and a sore loser. Kept challenging Chance to duels to 'train' her himself. If he trained her, THEN he could justify losing. (Maybe likes her. maybe sends messengers to watch after her. Only a little.)

Pumpking: PUMPKIN MOON ISN'T PRE HARDMODE- alas, with the power of Extremely Unprepared Dumb Protag Disease...Chance got ahold of a medallion and accidentally summoned the pumpkin moon. Pumpking (often nicknamed King) decided to have fun with this new world, and after scaring the shit out of Chance, revealed that the towering multifaced jack-o-lantern...was just a disguise. A trick. He's actually no more than 3 feet tall. Then she didn't take him seriously and he may have killed her...seven times over. Huh, immortal. A hero? Hm. Hollowed out a dead mourning wood and decided to live around their town. Utterly annoying! Provides very little help if anything. Loves scaring the npcs.

Slime King (and the ninja) (still a fat slime): Accidentally summoned during a slime rain, very confused. No idea where it was and stumbled around for a while until Chance separated it from the Ninja. Slime King mostly is okay with Chance, but he also decided uhh this end of the world stuff is kind of Too Serious and stays out of it. The Ninja, however, helps EOC train Chance and is a total bud to her.

BOC (object head. very kingly. very weird): Met when Chance stumbled juuust a little too far into the Crimson while exploring. Chance, completely unprepared predictably died. But in shock, was not made apart of this hateful crimson world. Why is that? Eventually defeated with a lot of effort and told about the 'balance', and a cult trying to mechanically create a world ending disaster. Sigh. Assimilating this world would have to wait. Fine. He likes Chance, they challenge him in a way other things don't. She is. Scared shitless of this giant brain but appreciates his wit. If only he'd stop fighting with the EOW.

EOW (still a big worm <3): Met shortly after BOC's defeat and showed up to mock him. She was ALSO shortly defeated for threatening to eat up Chance's little town. Annoyed by this. But also doesn't want to just let something ELSE corrupt and destroy the world she'd been eating away at. Fine. Suppose we are 'allies' (mostly so she can hang around and annoy her rival)

Queen Bee (anthro bee lady!!): Defender of the jungle, protector of her kingdom of bees- Not dealing with an annoying human and her need to destroy half the jungle to 'save the world'. Kicked Chance to the curb around 3 times before settling on a deal. Chance would be more careful, replant more, and she would offer some weaponry.

Skeletron: A living cursed guardian aiming to protect the dungeon and keep its secrets. Not much for talking, but clearly sentient. After defeat (with the help of the Queen Bee's beenades), he mostly just...disappeared. Strange.

WOF: The Consumer, the bearer of the world's evil. The Guide's sacrifice to help Chance reveal the rest of the world, make it stronger and deadlier to brace herself for what was to come.

Queen Slime (still a funny fairy slime): Appeared after the Hallow was released to the world. Friendly, offered a lot of help should Chance prove herself more. It was a simple sparring, and she helped hunt down rarer ores and offered miniture slime mounts to make things easier (it didn't, but Chance won't say that to her)

The Twins (not mech in this <3 same as EOC): The EOC's younger, much louder and annoying brothers. They adored Chance (in only the way two guys who like to shoot you with lasers and bite you for fun can!) and love bothering her all the time. This whole thing is more of a joke to them than serious. Chance...Doesn't know what to do with them, honestly. They are pranksters and somehow even annoy King. How is that possible?

Skeletron Prime: N/A. A mechanical version of Skeletron brought forth by the cultists as distraction. Used later for parts.

Destroyer (big worm into a funny robot man): Also created by the cultists as distraction, but after being broken down, revealed some sentience and pain. Chance, feeling bad for the creature, took its 'brain' and parts and fashioned a new body for it. As thanks, it helps build for the town and provides defense for the NPCs while she's away.

Plantera (anthro plant): ...Awokened from too much destruction of nature. It seemed Chance never learned her lesson on breaking things you should not and awoke a bloodthirsty, rage filled plant. After defeat, Plantera mostly hangs around the jungle, replanting and defending it from anything that is deemed a threat. ...Even Chance, even after being defeated. They do not get along. The plant is too headstrong and insistent on being able to do everything herself in here after all. Always tells the terraforming 'hero' to piss off. Chance is...so tired.

Golem: N/A ancient machine the cultists activated to do destruction, but it had valuable loot and Chance thought it might have to do with their main plan and thus was destroyed.

Duke Fishron (anthro pig fish :): Who is this stuck up ass pig that showed up in town? Apparently, the Twins had to do with destroying his underwater home, so he demanded to stay here Or else. (chance found out that What Else was a lot of tornadoes and attacking. Of course). Selfish greedy guy, but a big brute and defensive of his new home. It works out. Chance just. Stays out of the way.

EOL: thought to be the very being that brought Chance here to this world, but it's merely a rumor. Upon capturing a beautiful little butterfly, it transformed into the empress, whom was impressed with Chance's perseverance. But, in order to gain enough power to defeat the Moonlord, her mettle would be tested. She is motherly, often chastising or keeping others out of danger around town. Truly believes in the 'Champion' of the world.

Lunatic Cultist: Forgotten his name long ago, it's hard to even tell if the mask isn't just his face at this point. Reviving the moonlord in search of wisdom, destruction, and his own way of returning balance. Turn all to ash and start from scratch. Little did he know, Moonlord would only aim to kill everything until nothing was left. Not just the 'plagues', but everything else as well. Bad natured, grumpy, and over all not well. Definitely saw some power he was Not Supposed to. Chance doesn't get this asshole's deal. Are You Kidding. YOU'RE bringing the danger, not fixing it.

Moonlord: Unknowable. Metal and Flesh. brought forth from cosmos not understood to rend this world and many others. Pure destruction and hate without reason. The thing that must be killed for good in order to keep this world and all others alive.

[ironvandyne]

THE STYLE OF TONY STARK

Like I said, I promised I would draw Tony again, and I did. I wish I would draw more looks for him though. But with school and homework being time-consuming for me, I couldn’t do that so I drew three instead.

Will I make a Valentines Day post this year, I’m actually quite not sure as I have homework and school to deal with and sadly I’m not sure if I can post weekly anymore (and EOC (end of course) exams are coming up soon too!) I also have tutoring for Math to deal with, so there’s a lot on my plate right now. I am also not posting (regular) art during the week of February 18-25 because of the next global strike we’re having.

But anyhow, peek the little watermelon I hid 🍉

Plus, can you figure out where the second fit is from? (hint: it’s from a spider-man series for preschoolers!)

[twsodakid]

Nobody no no there's no confusion one stupid it's most logical thing and possibly possibly can't tell them to slip this way and that it to the channel with that game and you're already letter container and can you take it back into the bathroom teacher and take it right Kendrick I'm pretty utterly as so many questions is that neither you're a smart and intelligent I'll continue to suspect you do you aren't any help at all times no excuses if sand's blood supercrashing arise when not yet adulterer they can decide if you want to be able to use a brain cell's goggle if you don't slut it'll ever again keep on setting Oliver going and take it or right major I'm pretty Italy it's maybe what you knew that

I didn't answer pinnacle or basically standing somewhere around behind me in the background it was a little bit dirty to hot it left me your homeless I'll keep your hair close at all times mind if you'll original opinion stands and mind if you'll open your open and you'll continu understand now and long forgotten it's a receipt of returns and if we're sure it's mine is the double to here you're just the resource one here close to hell second of all we get to do now you can't be lucky about us you can't be your blocking of us you can't be positive as they cannot breathe possibly possibly definitely cannot be the internet sitting here on Tumblr you also surely saw it cannot be hollow me or sped in a difficult trip therapy to hire too hotter left me on indical intended in mind

You're doing what you doing then you're going to have to stop to hear yourself eat some self term sanctions like ourselves Don't worry that's what you're doing and following and Sometimes oak shoes there's EOC n's butt symbolized in the Arizona you're All In allow all the length Black & white there isn't sure that the greater no association is no being bothered if like it or not being bothered if like a next month she's a scientist with a lassie Evolve of the next year's world's policy which Teenagers like me to Lie on Her and determine underneath the camera they come up and become it it's what comes Here goes around Let Go She comes around therefore eagle

Sir this a Homestuck acc

[anhed-nia]

RETURN OF THE LIVING BLOGTOBER (2023)

I'm back everybody! Life has been a Whole Thing of late, in a good way, but also a way that feels like it ripped my entire being apart and reassembled me and I'm not sure if I'm even the same person anymore. But it's fine! You're not supposed to always be the same person, for the most part. Unfortunately I can't even brag about everything I've been up to because most of it has not been announced yet, so you'll kind of just have to take my word for it.

I've been doing Blogtober here for...actually I don't really know how long, because Tumblr's search is more busted than ever before, but I THINK I've been at it since 2015. This blog originally started as a repository for longform writing about whatever the hell is wrong with me, which I started to feel was unfair to inflict on the followers I had on main. Then I started doing some film writing here, kind of on a lark, and it became so consuming that I moved all my neurotic navel-gazing back to the other place because it felt so wrong to cross the streams or whatever. Blogtober began pretty casually with just a date, title, an image or two, and a few glib remarks, but pretty soon I wasn't able to keep doing it half-way, and every movie turned into a research project that resulted in a page or two (or more, in some cases) of this dense, turgid analysis that is probably not always a pleasure to read. But, this was a legitimate compulsion, a personal obligation that had nothing to do with likes or follows anything. There was no end game, it was just something I had to do.

Recently on The Last Drive-In they showed Phil Tippett's astounding 30 year art project MAD GOD, which he made for about $150,000 with no way of knowing what kind of future it had (it made more than twice its budget back, not that that's the most important thing about it). During the compelling interview with Tippett I tweeted something to the tune of, like, what singular thing can you think of doing with 30 years and all your spare change, just to do it, if you had no way of knowing what would come of it? And the EOC of Fangoria*** quote-tweeted me with a comment like "Some of us know, because some of us have done it," and then all these professional horror guys chimed in to brag about their various heroic labors of love, and I found this very annoying for two reasons: First, because I posed the question as kind of a sympathetic gesture toward people who might not have had an immediate answer, and who might have found it meaningfully provocative. I didn't mean to create an opportunity for a bunch of self-actualized snobs to just dunk on people who are less sure of themselves (or who have fewer resources, let's face it!). And the second thing that bothered me about it was, I suddenly realized I actually DO do my obsessions. The only reason the Fangoria guy follows me on Twitter is that I'm a branch director for The Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies, which takes a lot of work and care and makes practically no money, and one of the main reasons I earned that role is just my own self-directed exploration of the horror genre that I've been conducting for years and years, basically for love alone. Like nobody read my blog and offered me a book deal or anything like that--really nobody reads this blog PERIOD!--but the fact that I do this with passion, "like no one's watching" as they say, set me up with the thoughtfulness and discipline to be able to do other things when the time came.

So the things have been: For the past five years I've been working on a screenplay with someone you have definitely heard of, and there are actors you have definitely heard of who are bought in, and there are producers attached who have made things you've definitely heard of. And I mean who knows what will happen, without even considering the strikes and everything, entire movies have been shot and shelved without ever seeing daylight, anything is possible. But still, I did that, I continue to do it, and I am a better writer for it, and just a more knowledgeable and experienced person. I mean because I did that, I was ready for the opportunity I got to write the novelization of the movie SPLICE (this is like the one thing that's public already, that I can name), which sounds silly but it was an incredible, and incredibly personal experience for me, and I don't think filmmaker Vincenzo Natali would mind if I said how extremely kind and encouraging and, apparently, genuinely impressed he was. So that was huge, I'm excited for that to come out. And then because of my work for Miskatonic, and because of a certain self-directed, obsessive research project I spent the past few years on for no reason other than that I'm insane, I got the chance to record a commentary track for a new blu ray of [REDACTED, can't wait for this thing to get announced], which completely blew my mind. Then at the same time, because my work with Miskatonic got me the opportunity to introduce a certain movie at a certain major art institution last summer, I got commissioned to write THREE (3) booklets for upcoming blu rays of fascinating movies by someone I truly love, from a best-in-class company. It's been really funny in a way because when I was doing my kinda accidental art history degree, I was so depressed and immature and generally fucked up that it was a miracle they graduated me; my writing was "fun" maybe but not disciplined at all, the nicest person on my thesis board called my paper "a grand failure" and one of my advisors wouldn't even look at me once the entire time. That particular guy would be so, so mad if he read any of what I just turned in, which is, like, of actual quality. It turns out I can do what I was supposed to be doing in college, I was just too damaged and worthless at the time so sort it out. And I guess this is just how long it took me to figure out what I actually wanted to do with my time on earth. It took about 40 years.

EDIT: Fuck and then I ALSO was invited to be on a jury at the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival and I saw some amazing stuff and met some great people and I still can't believe it happened! That was so cool. I beg you all to watch RED ROOMS and VINCENT MUST DIE as soon as you possibly can, holy fucking shitballs.

But anyway I'm pretty sure those are all the things I can talk about for now, in my deliberately vague way. But that's what I've been up to when I would normally be doing Blogtober! I DID watch a Blogtober-appropriate movie every day though, and I WILL write them all up. The entries might be a little more brief than usual, and it sucks that I wasn't able to make it a daily ritual that ramps up to Halloween, but I didn't give up. Life is all about change and you never know what will happen to you, but Blogtober is forever.

***I actually really like the EOC of Fangoria specifically because he wrote this editorial about how he is constantly besieged by people who think Fango owes them a career just because they subtweet the brand and they're huge nerds and they're chronically online and own a ton of VHS tapes and shit. And I'm 100% sure this constant annoyance is why he's so bitchy. But the meat of the editorial was about how if you want a job like whatever you imagine Fangoria is supposed to give you, then you should be doing what you'd be doing there anyway. You should be writing anyway. You should be doing research anyway. You could ask your favorite B movie guys for interviews. You could start a website, or put out a zine. Try harder. Challenge yourself. Grow. You don't need anyone's permission to pursue your passion, and if you feel like you do, you might have to face the fact that it's not really your passion. The truth is that if you ever want to be acknowledged or god forbid paid for a talent like writing (or any kind of art), it's only going to happen if you're already doing it, all the time, with or without other people's money and praise. And ahem you should remain aware that even really talented people rarely subsist on talent alone--but still. In the words of Maya Angelou, who neither you nor I ever expected to have a cameo on my sleazy horror blog: Ain't nothing to it but to do it.

[duckciferthecg]

pappa I hav to many big though and feeling and I very stressed but I have big kid biology eoc tomorrow and I godda stuby and my friens wan me to hang out this week but my parents don't want to pick me up late so only gon be there for a couple hours so they try to help so I can say later but I to stressy to think I got to much big feeling and everything is to much I just wan be little and cry but I can't even do that cuz have to eat soons-🦕

It’s alright dear

Take a few deep breaths and try to think of some positive things. You can come back to deal with one thing at a time later

[taperwolf]

Okay, this is the most Krell-like patch I've ever managed. It's not completely a Krell patch, but it's closer than ever.

Explaining this is complicated, so meet me under the cut.

Okay, so I've talked about the Krell patch at length without specifying what exactly is going on in one.

Here's a block drawing of the patch made by fhars of the modwiggler forums:

FRV and SRV are terms used by the Buchla Source of Uncertainty module, "Fluctuating Random Voltages" and "Stored Random Voltages". The SRV operates like a Sample&Hold, generating and maintaining a new random voltage each time it's triggered; the FRVs change more gradually, keeping the slew or slope in between the random values. The other notable feature here is that there are actually three separate function generators running — one that's having its decay rate varied by randomness, a second that's having its attack rate varied, and those each affect the attack and decay (respectively) of the third.

So to achieve this patch, I had to use both the Eurorack and the Minibrute 2S. The LFO is the one on the Ring Mod/S&H/Noise/LFO module, and the SRV is its S&H; those both are affecting the VCO 3340, which feeds into the Simple VCA. The signal path goes from there down to the Minibrute's filter (by boosting the signal a little and feeding it into the External Input); the filter is set to Bandpass mode, its cutoff at around halfway and FM at full, with the Resonance knob at around 10:30. (In the recording, that then goes back to the Eurorack to go through the DSPFX for some echo and the headphone output module for final volume control.)

The FRVs are being simulated by the two Minibrute LFOs, on sloped random mode; those each pass through one of the two attenuators before going onward. LFO1 just feeds into the CV input on one of the Sigma function generators, which is set with rise and fall set to around 4:00, the CV switch to Fall, and CV attenuator to around 3; LFO2 feeds the filter's Cutoff, and Sigma #2's CV, and Sigma #2 is set the same except the switch is set to Rise.

Sigma #1's AC output then goes to the Attack input on the Minibrute AD envelope, and Sigma #2's to Decay. The envelope is set to Trigger and Loop, and its output goes up to one of the Eurorack Mults, where it goes to the VCA's CV and the S&H's Clock Input.

The whole intended effect is that notes of varying pitch and timbre also vary in length and envelope, all in a way that feels almost intentional, as if there's an alien mind playing it instead of pure randomness.

What's still lacking?

There are two big differences (and a few small ones) between my patch and the True Krell.

Second, the S&H doesn't always trigger and give a new pitch when there's a new note. The Minibrute AD envelope doesn't have a separate "End of Cycle" output, so it's making do with the envelope output. Especially with slow attacks, the S&H doesn't quite see that as a trigger. To fix this I could get or mod a function generator that would do both A/D modulation and have an EOC, hack the Minibrute to break the EOC signal that's triggering its looping behavior out to a new jack, or build a circuit with a Schmitt trigger to square up the output and a gate-to-trigger bit to get a proper pulse.

First, the random voltages being generated aren't related to each other. In the original Buchla system, the SRV and FRVs are all being generated from the same noise source, tying them together in a way that's hard to quantify but which probably affects the final sound. In this system, the S&H is fed from that module's noise source, while the two Minibrute LFOs are digitally generated in the sequencer code. The fixes for this that come to mind are switching to a random source that gives both a stepped and a smoothed output from the same source — like the Wogglebug/Swamp — adding a second S&H which would be fed from the same noise and turning up the lag time on the second, or running a copy of the S&H output through yet another slew limiter.

(Actually, the S&H here might be reading the module's LFO and not its noise circuit. Need to double check that.)

Nonetheless, it's much closer than I'd been, so I'm kind of pleased.

[tr4g1c-g1rl-j4m13]

May 16th, 2023

I'm in third period right now. I don't really know what to do cause we're supposed to be studying for the EOC that's on Thursday, but like I suck at studying... and I'm so close to having a breakdown at any second. This school has literally traumatized me, the only reason I stay is because of my friends and because I got into an art program for next year. I'm coping by listening to anything Ryan Ross is in, he's literally the only reason I'm staying alive. My goal in life is to meet him one day, like I'm so determined. Another reason I'm living, besides my friends and Ryan Ross, is because I have three concerts coming up this year. I swear this school makes me want to end it all sometimes, they literally have suicide hotlines on the back of the ID's. Another goal/motivation I have is to stay alive long enough to see MCR live. If someone even looks at me weird today, I will break down. Like I have such a fragile emotional state right now. Literally, I cry a little bit every time a song from 'Pretty. Odd.' comes on like it's so comforting, but it hits me like a ton of bricks. I can't take all these tests and homework right now. Each of my classes has work for me, I'm failing two classes, I have a C in like two other ones, a B in two, and one A. I'm struggling so much, and I know it's because I'm lazy, but I really don't have the motivation to even try anymore. There are so many assignments on top of the tests, and the most important classes are the ones that I'm failing and the ones I have an EOC for. I hate this school with a passion, literally earlier in the year, my counselor told me that I should go back to therapy. I think I'm gonna have to take Biology again because I'm doing so bad. Like, my parents, especially my mom, always say that I'm smart, so it "doesn't make sense why I'm not doing well in my classes and on my tests." I just think that I'm gonna explode any second. Last night, I was doing Biology homework while crying to a Panic! album. This school always says that their top priority is their students.. that's literal bs. I know the simplest answer is to lave the school, but it's all I know, it's like Stockholm Syndrome. I think that if I leave everything will go wrong. And I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not into a certain guy because all my friends say that I deserve better. I guess I do, but he's a nice guy, but I keep trying to put into my head that I deserve better, because I guess I do technically. Like anytime I bring him up to a friend they just make a disgusted face, I only have like 3 supportive friends, and then the other ones who say they support it make contradicting statements. I think it's just easier if I just got over him, it'll just be better for me. Like, I've done it before, lied to myself till I believed it, so how hard could it be to do it again? The last time I did this it took about 2-3 months, and they totally sucked, but I was down bad for the last guy so this one should be easier to get over.

Have a better morning, noon, day or night than I'm having <3

-jamie :((((

[randomrabbidramblings]

Ok. Let’s start off with the battle cats’ story mode.

The Empire of Cats (EoC)

Once upon a time, there’s an army of “the battle cats” hellbent on world domination. They would travel around the earth and conquer one nation and continent after another, with the assistance of their creator The Cat God (which is optional). They also recruited some special units into their army throughout their journey (I.e. Valkyrie and Bahamut cat). After conquering entire nations, the cat army would single-handedly then take over the moon aswell. In it, they found a time-traveling device. What happens next for our plucky Cat Army? Well… let’s just find out for ourselves.

Into The Future (ItF)

In this next saga, the cats have entered the future. They would find themselves in the year 29XX, where aliens have already conquered the entire world. The cat army knew these aliens were giving them a run for their money, so of course, they had to do what they were born to do like in the past. They’ve encountered some seemingly bizarre entities in the future, and they also happened to stumble across interesting new locations like The Great Abyss, and The Floating Continent. After sweeping the aliens off of earth for good, they make it to the moon once again. They were shocked to find out about the special units they recruited… to have been corrupted. After defeating the clones, they’ve unlocked true forms for both Valkyrie and Bahamut cat. After the dust is settled, the cats would then go on to build a rocket. But what for, exactly?

Cats of the Cosmos (CotC)

Yep, that’s right. The cat army LITERALLY built a rocket for them to launch themselves further into the galaxy and to viscerally conquer the universe once more. There, they would encounter more and pick fights with more aliens, as they rule over every planet and nebula they see. (Interestingly, they discovered a new type of alien with an ability to warp anyone from a distance, called the “Starred Alien.”) Upon dominating the universe altogether, they have now arrived at the Big Bang. There, they get to meet the Cat God himself, preparing to fight. Surprisingly enough, the Cat Army has now taken the one deity that had created them in the first place. Upon defeating Cat God, the universe has now been officially ruled by the cats, for the cats.

The Ending

Its been revealed the whole time that Cat God has been narrating the timelines for EoC, ItF, and now, CotC. Interestingly enough, he’s about 20 years young. Still doesn’t look his age though, but what does it matter? All that matters now is that the cats have now achieved full-on domination of the entire universe. There’s nowhere to run from them now, just… cats. Nothing but cats. With all that being said, Cat God has declared that the cats should now move on to the rule the realm of legends next. (aka Stories of Legend)

That’s pretty much it. What do you think? Would you bet the cat army and the rabbids would get along as world domination partners? Or will it be competitive, just like with the aliens? (Im just saying, these guys would fit so well for a crossover to not happen lol)

Rabbids are chaotic creature by nature, so an alliance with the cats might be problematic. Unless the cats are also very chaotic (which I assume from what you wrote and what I remember, lol), in that case Rabbids might see them as potential partners in crime. Cats are fond of space and time travel, so I wouldn't be surprised if Rabbids befriended them as they seem to like messing with space/time too (also Rabbids might come from the moon, so they might see the cats as a way to return there).

Regardless, would cats adapt and create new Rabbid-like cats to face or become ally with them? A Rabbid cat armed with a plunger is something to not underestimate, lol.

One thing is for sure: if they'd ever team up, there would be chaos.

Oh and, I just saw your other ask, don't worry for the long ramble! I do the same with things that I love! ^▽^

[cinderellaenjoyer]

With Grace and Addison in EOC, something I try to do is have them be very different from each other.

A lot Cinderella adaptations don't do much to distinguish Cinderella's step-sisters from one another. Most of the time they're both vapid selfish women that could really be interchangeable with each other. Anastasia from the Disney Version didn't get redeemed until Cinderella 3, and Marie from Bad Cinderella's 'redemption' wasn't really that good and kinda came out of nowhere. There are exceptions, such as Starkids Cinderella's Castle does make Putrice and Rancilda be different from each other (Rancilda admitting at the end she doesn't want to live her Mother's dream), and you can't quite swap those two out, but even then they're both Gross Troll Girls and mostly follow their mother's plan.

With Grace and Addison, I try to make them distinguishable, in a way where their personalities, wants and general vibes are different from each other. I also try to give them both more nuance then most Step-sisters get

Addison is pretty typical from what you'd expect from a Step-Sister in a Cinderella story. She's obsessed with her looks, she's selfish, she's wants to marry the Prince and be on top of society. But even then, I try to show it comes from a deep need for her mother's approval. She may be the favourite child, but she knows her Mother can still disapprove of her, and she can't afford to mess up. She needs to be the center of attention, to be admired and adored. She acts like a typical cinderella step-sister but she's shown to have reasons to

Grace, on the other hand, isn't a typical Step-sister. She's not unkind, just kinda of snarky sometimes because she's a teenager. She has a more positive relationship with Ella, she's more interested in reading than appearance's, she wants to travel, she both can't marry the prince (too young to do so) and wouldn't want to if she could anyways, she' comes to terms with her . She isn't anything like Addison and she isn't what you'd expect from a Cinderella Step-sister.

I also try to show that they're both also victims of their Mother's abuse, just in a different way than Ella is. Addison is the Golden child, but she still understands that if she messes up her mother could get angry at her. Grace is neglected and isn't treated as favourably as Addison. Lady Belladonna has hurt and affected them both too, and I want that to be shown in the Musical.

[phantasiiae]

❛ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now. ❜ EoC seph & aerith.

Hozier || Accepting

"...What do you mean? I knew you loved me. Just because you didn't go screaming it from the rooftops doesn't mean anything. It wasn't your fault it had to be a secret."

Aerith shrugs, glancing over at him with a small smile. The one reprieve from her constant deaths is that she gets to come here. Sometimes it's hard to find, sometimes it's not. Peeling away the tendrils of the lifestream to get here can prove to be a challenge, but she'd do anything to see him, anything to talk to him before being pulled back again.

"I guess the one good thing about having to start over is that I get to know your love all over again. It's like...coming home, I guess. I love Cloud, I love Tifa...I love everyone that has ever loved me, but you..." She blinks back a few tears and laughs a little, looking down at her hands. "I dunno. It's different. And I get greedy for it. Maybe that's selfish. Is it?" Aerith sighs, looking back up at the sky as she rests her head on his shoulder. "I just wish my love was enough to stop it all."

[goldfades]

i hate math too 😔

i also have my algebra eoc coming up and im so scared bc im so awful at math

- ⭐️

i’m praying for u girly 🫶🏼 i’m taking my calc final on WEDNESDAY sooo😭😭 i haven’t studied at all im just praying so yeah