#I FUCKING LOST THE JEAN ONE
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Trainee Days P.2/?
// don't tag as kin / id + f/o
#I FUCKING LOST THE JEAN ONE#fandom picrew#picrew#snk#aot#attack on titan#shingeki no kyoujin#shingeki no kyojin#mikasa ackerman#ymir aot#ymir snk#ymir freckles#krista lenz#christa renz#historia reiss#connie springer#conny springer#sasha braus#sasha blouse#sasha blaus
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a collection of old doodles and forgotten wips
#i might finish some of these. i especially want to complete that group hug sketch#trolls#dreamworks trolls#ex bandmates#trolls floyd#trolls oc#les#hed#liv#flea#my art#sketch dump#sketches#flea's eye color reveal! it's literal iris colors kjskdfkjd#the one with liv climbing on hed is supposed to be another flash photography illustration. i just lost the drive#fun fact: the jeans i usually draw floyd in were originally liv's rave pants. he borrowed them forever 😔#also my hc for floyd goes against most people's on this site. and that's that he's so gay gay homosexual gay that he cannot understand#why a guy who is a hot man guy guy hot man would want to wear feminine clothes when he can look like a hot manly man guy instead#he doesn't fuck with fishnets and makeup (with no offense to any artists who draw him like that. i love those floyds too)#hed however likes to occasionally experiment with his outfits and has no problem wearing his girlfriend's clothes if they're comfy#he is my crop top rocking barbie
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Soulmates AU in which your soul is bounded to your soulmate's soul.
What does that mean exactly? That when you die, if your soulmate is still alive you can't move on. Instead your soul is stuck by your soulmate's side until they die too, so the two souls can become one in death. Depending on how strong the bond between the two is, one could see (and even interact!) with their deceased soulmate.
Now this but, you know by now, JeanMarco. With Marco waking up and the first thing he saw was Jean's terrified face while looking at the dead body- Marco's half eaten dead body. He learns it pretty quickly that he can't leave Jean's side, bound to follow his best friend around. He also learns that is possible for Jean to see and hear him during the ceremony of burning the fallen soldiers during Trost ; it lasted so little, too little for all the things Marco wanted to say. If he knew Jean was listening from the beginning, he would've started with exposing Reiner and Berthold right away. By the time he took notice that not only Jean was looking at him, but listening too, it was too late. Every other word from him was meet with silence, unheard by the living.
Isn't until the 57th expedition outside the walls that Marco learns that he can interact with Jean too, touch him. In his panic after Jean's failed attack on the Female Titan Marco didn't think and went straight to his best friend's side, touching his shoulder while looking for any injuries. Jean's eyes went straight to the place Marco's was touching, looking confused- until he followed the arm and saw Marco in front of his very own eyes. And just like everything, it lasted too little for Marco's liking. The Female Titan took hold of Reiner, crushing him in her hand, and Jean could no longer see him.
It was later, much much later than either of them would've liked, for Marco to understand how everything works. To know that he could only interact with Jean when his mind was filled with thoughts of Marco. By then Jean already began to move on, the secret of Reiner and Berthold's true selves already out. So Marco could only watch, unable to be there for his other half- for Jean.
And it was when they saw the ocean for the first time that Marco understood why he was truly stuck by Jean's side. When he saw his best friend having fun with the others and realized just how much he loves him. When he realizes that all he truly wants is to be by Jean's side, the way they promised each other to do during their training days.
Edit : Think of Ben and Klaus Hargreeves for easier visual.
#Jean starting to think of Marco less and less until he becomes a mere memory in the back of his head#While Marco keeps thinking of Jean more and more hoping for at least one more second together#Marco telling Jean to calm down while he's attacking Annie in her crystal and that being the only reason he even stopped :)#Them having so many small moments but Jean thinking he lost his fucking mind#Sometimes Marco's voice would tell Jean to dodge or something and Jean would hesitate one second- just for it to be the right call#Marco yelling 'Jean! Look out!' when Gabi gets inside the airship and Jean looks towards the entrance but is too late-#Gabi already shoot Sasha by then#Marco feeling SO GUILTY over it because he couldn't warm them sooner#But also Marco and Sasha chilling together because Sasha couldn't leave Connie's side either#And her describing to him all the food Niccolo has cooked for her! The taste and the different textures and the bright colors!#'Of course I love Connie! He's my other half my twin! You must love Jean very much too to be stuck by his side all this time!'#'Of course I do. He's my other half too. My everything' and that's when they realize that their situation isn't the same#That Marco's love for Jean wasn't the same as Sasha's love for Connie#anyway#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#snk#aot marco#jean kirschstein#soulmate au#JeanMarco Soulmate AU#I mean it can be platonic if you truly want. But I don't want to so there's that lol#Hesitate no second*
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In re: HACKS: If this show is going to have Ava more or less deliberately fumbling hot women just so Deborah can kick her around some more, they had better eventually have Ava and Deborah actually fuck, because come on.
#teevee#hacks#hacks hbo#jean smart#hannah einbinder#the show has already expressly acknowledged that ava wants to fuck deborah#but that doesn't necessarily mean the writers won't just offer endless bait#like in grace and frankie#which i lost patience with in one season#at least ava is actually unequivocally a wlw#so we are not ALSO subjected to smirking no homo like in grace and frankie
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i just want lumidouce elegy
#i'm being punished for all the bad things i said about simulanka#not my fault it sucks shit#i lost 50/50 to fucking mona - couldn't even be my C4 jean#i started with 12k primos AND spent $115 for one emilie and no weapon#dude is2g i only spent like $150 on scaramouche and he's C6#this game ripped me off#genshin impact#i'm taking donations btw
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Oh yeah that’s right other oni characters exist uhhhh Ashkan and Nails Jumpscare
#keese draws#oxygen not included#dylan nails winslow#ashkan seyer ali#the scientists ofc not the dupes#ashkan is my specialist lil boy even if he has literally no dialogue <3#well ok technically he Might but there’s no evidence that he’s any of the unnamed speakers#most of the unnamed speakers in the logs are biologists and while he likely does work with biologists he seems to primarily work in robotics#although considering banhi and how closely she’s been able to work with bubbles it’s not imposs#ible that he could have worked on one of the bioengineering projects#nails is also a bit tricky to pin down because they seem to be a bioengineer but in their personal log they seem to not rly work with any#organisms directly so maybe they’re more akin to a technician idk#but yeah I adore nails their log is like one of my absolute favorites I Adore it#I was going to draw nikola and ellie too but then I remembered that they’re blond and I hate them <3#no no I regrettably adore them I just lost motivation lol#yknow I really wish we had any proper ashkan characterization but we really don’t despite him being mentioned quite a bit by oni standards#unfortunately we only get second hand mentions of him and nothing straight from his mouth#we know jean fucked him over a bit by accident and we know some of his work but that’s abt it#speaking of jean I also adore them I should draw them sometime
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y'all ever have that piece of media that you genuinely really love and it's got a huge active fanbase for it and everything but you can't really engage with the fandom at all because your experience with it was so so different than what other people are posting about
#literally no hate just can't relate at all#but like the core aspects of the storylines i roleplayed are just... not how most other people interpreted the game#this is botw and disco elysium. to me#i do not care about zelink#my link (& me irl) fully expected to come across a 117-year old zelda as an old woman#all decked out in weapons fighting ganon in the castle#& had roleplayed my link so he would keep k*lling himself just to see his dead fiance again#and was actually rather clumsy as a swordsman and felt he could never live up to his past self#who was essentially a dead alter to him#my link didnt even know what a bird was. or a lizard#roleplayed him as vegan bc he didnt know who/what counted as a “citizen of hyrule”#first playthrough was 250+ hours before i fought ganondorf for the first time#i took that man on an odyssey. made him visit each of the divine beasts in prayer before the final battle#also disco elysium#i missed major portions of the game that im fine with missing#i have no fucking clue what the pale is.#i dont give a shit about jean viqumare or whoever he is#i am not a kimharry shipper#core story was my harry was so so desperate to not resemble the thing he was before he lost his memory. or even find out who he was#and was shattered whenever bits of his personality came through#i did one playthrough of that game and emerged very satisfied with how it went down#not much desire to do another playthrough#loz#de
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GOOD NEWS the expensive pair of jeans i impulse-bought last week (bc my current jeans make me actually angry to wear) don't fit me, so i can return them and get a refund 😊
#on the one hand YES it would be great to have a pair of jeans that fit me#on the other hand i regretted that purchase financially as soon as i made it and i will be v glad to get the money back#WHY DOES NOWHERE MAKE JEANS THAT FIT ME#they're always just too baggy in places and too tight other places like they're usually too big and too small at the same time#and in that situation u can't just get it in a different size bc then it would still fit weird#these ones fit really well around my hips but were just weirdly baggy in the crotch? WHY#also they're always ALWAYS way too long on me but that's ok i can alter the hem length really easily#i guess the real answer would be to learn how to tailor the tops of jeans to fit me properly#i have been seeing some vids recently on pinterest on how to do that and i'll definitely look into it more#because it PISSES ME OFF TO NO END#the current pair i have are just. SO baggy and not in a cute way like they are definitely too big for me#and i guess i have lost a little weight since i bought them but i think probably they never fit right#and i was just so desperate that i settled#also i kind of made a loose resolution that i would only buy second hand or sustainable clothes from now on#and the vast majority of sustainable jeans do not come in sizes big enough for me#it fucking sucks but fast fashion brands really are the only places you can buy decent plus sized jeans#no 'good quality' denim brands eg levi or wrangler make plus sized jeans and you for sure can't find any second-hand#that's why this pair was expensive (bc the brand is sustainable)#i've ordered from them before and i remember having the same problem and having to return everything so i really should have known better#sustainably making clothes that don't fucking fit me lmao#🧃
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Went to an amusement park yesterday. Spent all day getting flung around at high speeds. Had 2 drinks with dinner and spent the whole evening getting random bouts of vertigo
#not fallout#kal talks#the point to this post? nothing. but it was a fun day and i wanted to share#my dad lost his sunglasses the first ride we went on#i spent all day wrangling my hat and hair and trying not to lose my own glasses#we went on a water ride pretty early on in the day and i got wet because i always get wet#but the damn ride was UNSPORTSMANLIKE because the raft went under a waterfall to ensure you got soaked#so i was in wet jeans and a t shirt for most of the day#there's one ride i went on a couple times that's really intense and every time ive been on it i white out a little at the end#but nothing can stop my love of rollercoasters... nothing...#near the end after my brother and his family bailed my parents and i went on this one coaster thats been at the park for like Ever#and theres 2 loops#its pretty tame compared to some of the other rides i went on but it was near the end of the night and we were about done#anyway we sat at the back and got whipped around so damn hard it was BAD#there was one tight corkscrew at the end and i was holding onto the seat like it was jesus' hand like lord almighty#anyway it was a lot of fun i fucking love amusement parks#batter my body with rollercoasters forever
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What's your favourite batclan member and which one is your favourite to write?
ooooh, fun question!! as for favorite character, probably Helena Bertinelli. i am unwell about her. a couple years ago i was like "i don't know Huntress too well, I'll just read all the Huntress comics can't be that hard" and i did and since then she has lived rent-free in my mind. i never shut up about her and i have successfully convinced multiple people to be Huntress fans. if anyone ever wants Huntress comic recs, thoughts on who i ship her with, explanations of Helena Bertinelli vs Helena Wayne, i am your guy.
if we went with like, characters who are the more accepted main Batfam members, i'd have to say the basic answer of Tim Drake. he's just. he's my guy man idk what it is. a lot of facts about me are eerily similar to Tim so i'm blaming it on that. Red Robin (2009) altered my brain chemistry in ways i've yet to fix. a lot of my favorite Batfam arcs and storylines tend to involve him, and i think he's had a *lot* of really cool storylines. personally a big fan of A Lonely Place of Living, which as far as Rebirth goes, a pretty solid TIm story. i love Tim so dearly.
a close third favorite is Jean-Paul Valley, who also exists now as a more exterior Batfam member, but he's everything to me. Catholic guilt and dissociative identity disorder in one guy? sign me up i love him.
as for who's my favorite to write: once again probably Tim, just because i can confidently say i know him the most and i find exploring his flaws from his POV to be really fun. he's kind of an ass and can be ego-centric, but that's what makes him fun. i also love writing Jason, just because there's a self-awareness that a well-written Jason Todd has that's so fun to explore. also i pride myself in knowing i can write Jason better than Scott Lobdell can. which to be fair isn't a high bar, but given he has changed Jason for the worse and it took use like a decade to be free of his writing, i think i'm allowed it. i also really like writing Cass! i don't know if i can say i have as strong of a grasp on her as i do Jason or Tim, but she's such a complex character to write and i enjoy giving her a lot of dimension solely to combat her existing as a prop in most fanfic.
#necrotic answerings#this was such a simple question i made it *so* complicated i'm so sorry jkjkhgfhgjhkj#i'm serious about the huntress thing i almost included a screenshot of the spreadsheet i use to track my comic reading#bc it's just huntress huntress huntress huntress for a week.#i got possessed.#as a tim stan tho i get why tim stans are hated. trust me i fucking get it.#i dislike fanon tim personally#and some tim stans *really* are convinced tim is like. an unknown oppressed character dc shows no love to#as if he wasn't *the* it girl of the 90s and has multiple solo runs.#trust me dc pays attention to tim stop treating him like he's some sad ignored character#i went really hard back and forth with someone in a comment section on tiktok about that once#they could not stop insisting tim was an underrated character with no content in fanon or canon. i nearly lost it.#y'all this is a relatively big fandom we are not starved for content. esp about TIM DRAKE#anyway enough about that bc i do love him.#but helena does steal the number one spot from him.#honestly depending on the day i would even put jean-paul above tim-
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Genuinely wearing a ghost shirt to Disney and getting compliments and small convos with other cool ghost fans is some of the best times
#I wish I wasn't such an anxious fuck irl#one of the very nice people that came up to me and called me a fellow sister of sin while i stood there like 🧍♀️#im so sorry#im hard of hearing and it took me forever to figure out what they said way after my mil pulled me away#if you were at disney today and saw someone in a jean jacket snd black shorts with a ghost shirt looking lost as fuck that was me 😂😭#sage rambles#Disney
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YAAAAYYYY STAIN FINALLY WASHED OUT OF FAVORITE SHIRT INCIDENT 1 REVIVED 1000 HEALED!!!!!
#kd#its my plain lavender t shirt :-) i like it because it is soft and it is LAVENDER and goes soooo nicely with my grey jeans.#i got a little oil stain on it forever ago from idk chapstick or lotion or something? and it was making me so fucking sad#i for real went on ebay and tried to track down the exact same shirt because i couldnt find it from where i got it anymore. autism moment#BUT i saved it after like 3 failed attempts. thankyou dish soap and oxygen bleach soak i love you forever#i did actualyl order one on ebay first though. seller said she lost track of it moving stuff around and has not found it yet so it is-#-unclear whether or not i will actually receive it but if i do i guess i will jsut have two of the same shirt which is fine. more ourple yay#.pdf
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Denim jacket came in the other day. It’s a hefty boy. Heavy heavy. Sleeves are kind of long, but I have nefarious plans for them, so it should work out. Stocked up on supplies. Big bucket. Big bleach. Armful of fabric dyes in varying shades of black and yellow. It’s been in the 100°s here, and I already sweat like a swamp beast. Strictly fall & winter wear. Plenty of time to make something garish and gauche. It’s a good distraction. My life is falling apart. I need good distractions.
#I have very little idea of what I’m doing but I like that#I like when people have no idea what they’re doing but they try to do it anyway#I’m hoping it at least makes it unique#it’s easy to think outside of the box when you have no idea what the box is#just let me get a little hyped for this please#my life right now is… not great#I need little victories#I spent last night cleaning and crying and I’m just so tired#I have no idea what I’m doing. in general. in life. right now. I’m lost.#no no this post is about a jean jacket#no moping allowed#I can’t wait to huff bleach in my tiny bathroom#I need a fucking hug#and weed. and sleep. and lots of affection. I can get one of those. the other two… blegh 🫤#I actually probably don’t need drugs and I couldn’t get any if I did. not unless I want to drive 3-4 hrs across state lines…#…which… I have thought a lot about this past week. I’m one bad day away from it I swear#I just… I can’t handle this. I can. but it’s hard. I just want to rest and not feel like my world is ending#Ian shut up#okay kisses#you can ignore this#text
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#I love angst as much as any other person but I feel like people lean too hard into CROWLEY WANT TO KILL HIMSELF WITH HOLY WATER BECAUSE#AZIRAPHALE LEFT#because first: Crowley never showed any suicidal intentions in canon#ever#whole holy water fight was *because* Aziraphale was absolutely baselessly scared that Crowley will hurt himself and Crowley just couldn't#get it and even attempt to calm him down#like sleep or drink or run away? ok#I prefer to think that Crowley will work in averting the second coming but I get it#functional and capable Crowley is not everyone's cup of tea#but also second: Crowley dying from holy water is literally Aziraphale's biggest (semi)irrational fear we saw in canon#like his reaction was overblown in a way we only saw when he dealt with literal apocalypse#Crowley's perfectly aware of this#and this...this not only shows Crowley a) suddenly losing all his optimism b) leaving earth and humans on their own c) leaving Aziraphale on#his own#it's also shows him cruel. not on petty 'dance a little dance for me' level. not on sending nazis to hell level. on the 'let's deliberately#hurt person that deeply loves me (and that I deeply love too) in most cruel and inreparable way'#I can't stress it enough — *intentionally*. burdening him with it *forever*#like. even if you imagine that Crowley *is* stupid enough to not get that Aziraphale was afraid of giving him holy water *because* he's#scared shitless of him dying (and also dying specifically because of him)#he still should get that Aziraphale cares for him in some capacity (I'm not talking about people that makes Crowley cry 'Aziraphale never#loved me at all' because those people saw some other series)#Crowley should understand that him killing himself would absolutely destroy Aziraphale#and I can't wrap my mind around it. like. Crowley won't hurt Aziraphale. not in that way.#again don't get me wrong you can write ooc fics all you want it's just...when some kind of trope gets so popular you start to question what#part of character's character made you accept this as valid and highly accepted interpretation#like I don't like slutty subby Crowley in fics but I get it he looks good in tight jeans and simps hard for Aziraphale. with this tho??#I'm absolutely lost it looks like whole other character for me#sidebote: would absolutely read good IC fic/hc about Crowley being suicidal/attempting suicide. but in my heart Aziraphale is the one that#will consider suicide as an (absolutely rational! he has arguments!) option meanwhile Crowley's like NO ANGEL THAT'S NOT FUCKING NORMAL
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hesitating if I should do a ghost-ish make up to a gig (I like my face more w/o makeup. but sometimes it's fun to do makeups). and maybe wear my cowboy hat, what a pity I didn't buy a black one. IF ONLY I'D KNOW THAT IT'LL BE FUCKING LIGHT BROWN INSTEAD OF DARK BROWN WHEN I ORDERED IT. maybe I will tho
#cowboy boots are my biggest dream tho but I can't find any good ones :(((#ok I think I will try to do smth cool w my fit#even tho I have like two pairs of jeans and 6 t shirts (ONE OF WHICH IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN THE FUCKING HOUSE)#smells.like.a.freakshow
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i am the fucking definition of play stupid games win stupid prizes
#i have a pair of jeans i lost for a while#and i guess in the turmoil one of the knees got kinda cut up and it doesnt look intentional but it does look kinda cool#so i decide oh hey lets um. lets distress the other leg#for some fucking reason i decide to use an old dull razor blade#and fucking. do it while its on my leg??????#i guess to see how it looks without trying the pants on every 2 seconds#and i am at least a little smart. i put a piece of cardboard in between my leg and the outside of the pants#so i didnt fucking. slice and dice my legs any more than they already are#but you see the blade is dull. because its old and dull and i specifically picked it because i cant use it for its intended purpose anymore#so i press a lot harder because its barely leaving a mark in the denim#so im pressing down really hard and the cardboard is not actually that thick- i picked it for a separate craft for its ability to be easil#y cut#and. now im bleeding#its actually really minor compared to some of my intentional wounds but it hurts a lot.#i put a hello kitty bandaid on it :o]#delete later
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