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luvsupa · 6 months ago

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“WHATT? NEVER SEEN A GHOSTT..”

summary: next time be respectful for gojo’s memorial. . .

tags: ghost!gojo x fem!reader, smut, threesome (ig ..?), use of clone techniques, jjk spoilers, mean gojo, ōral sex (f!recieving), size difference,belly bulging, full nelson, degrading, dumbification, etc, mdni.

w.c: 4k . . .

a/n: GUYSSS WE GOIN UPPP ☝🏽 TYY FOR 1,7K MWAAAAA

+ sorry for the errors

kinktober masterlist

the halloween theme park buzzes with screams from rollercoasters and actors in horror costumes that look almost too real. you walk arm in arm with your friends, all of you decked out in matching monster high costumes. at first, you weren’t into it, but after enough pestering, you caved and ordered clawdeen’s full outfit.

the crowd can’t stop complimenting the four of you. from the boots to the hair, everything is spot-on. but gosh these platform boots are killing you. you can already feel tomorrow’s regret setting in.

“ooo, let’s try this ride before we leave,” one of your friends says through the fake fangs she’s wearing as draculaura. you all turn your heads to see what she’s pointing at. a sign reads infinity maze, with eerie, glowing blue eyes blinking on and off. it’s famous, mostly because the guy who designed it—gojo satoru—died a few years ago, turning it into some kind of attraction with ghost stories attached.

you scoff. people are suchwimps.

as you approach, you’re grateful for your speed passes because the line is insane. “okay, how about we make a bet?” your cleo-dressed friend suggests. “slowest time pays for dinner.”

you grin at the challenge, nodding along with everyone else.

as you wait, something catches your eye—a giant memorial statue of gojo satoru, standing tall near the maze entrance. his cocky grin is frozen in stone, and beneath it, the descriptiom reads,

in loving memory of satoru gojo. forever lovable and the strongest.

you roll your eyes so hard it almost hurts. “who gives a fuck about him?” you say, loud enough for your friends to hear. they giggle, and you continue, “seriously, they’re doing the most with this memorial. it’s not that deep.”

one of your friends shakes her head, trying not to laugh too hard. “it’s haunted, remember?” she says mockingly, to which you just snicker.

“haunted, my ass.”

your first friend goes into the maze, and you start timing her on your phone. almost three minutes later, she comes out breathless, claiming the only scary part was a worker grabbing her ankle at the end.

next up are the others, who all manage to escape in under two minutes. the pressure’s on now, but you refuse to be the one paying for dinner. with a quick glance at your friends, you flash your speed pass to the coordinator, ready to sprint through this lame maze and leave them all in the dust.

your platform boots thud heavily against the creaking wooden floor, each step echoing in the suffocating silence. the door slams shut behind you with a sharp clack, sealing you inside. a deep breath fills your lungs, but the air feels heavy, thick. the faint glow of flickering lights ahead barely cuts through the darkness, revealing the first room—a classroom?

it’s an old, japanese-style classroom, but something feels off. chairs are scattered across the floor like a struggle took place, and bloody handprints—too real for comfort—smear the walls. your heart races as a sudden crack of thunder rips through the air, making the weak lights above you flicker wildly. it feels like you’ve been transported, as if this isn’t a theme park anymore... like you’re somewhere else, somewhere you shouldn’t be.

you inch forward, boots sinking into the floorboards with each loud creakk. you can’t shake the feeling that the room is watching you. the chalkboard looms at the front, with jagged, uneven writing smeared across it

look behind you

your stomach twists. your mind fights to stay rational—it’s just part of the maze, it’s not real. but your hands are trembling as you slowly turn. nothing. just scattered desks and the harsh, stuttering light overhead. thunder crashes again, timed too perfectly.

your heart rate slows a bit, but you mutter under your breath, stupid maze, trying to shake off the unease as you head toward the next door. the sign above it reads, hall of mirrors,

the knob feels cold in your hand as you twist it, stepping into the next room. pitch-black darkness swallows you whole, except for the mirrors that tower from floor to ceiling. hundreds of them, endless reflections stretching out in every direction. your eyes adjust to the faint, flickering light—just enough to see yourself, but not much else.

“fuck,” you whisper, hating mirror mazes with a passion. you move cautiously, knowing you’ll bump into a dead end at some point. your reflection multiplies with every turn, making it feel like you’re being watched from all angles. you stop in front of one mirror, catching your breath, and take a moment to adjust your costume.

you smooth down the sheer purple mini skirt, making sure your wolf ears are straight on your head. you shift slightly, checking out your ass in the reflection, appreciating how well the outfit hugs your body. you’re about to laugh at yourself when your eyes catch something—a shadow

a figure. behind you.

your breath stops cold. your friends hadn’t mentioned anyone being in here with you. you freeze, heart pounding as you stare into the reflection, too terrified to turn around.

“o-oh um, did I come in the room too early?” you stammer, your voice barely steady, assuming he’s the worker who grabbed your friend’s foot earlier. you swallow hard, trying to make sense of the tension creeping up your spine. the lights flicker again, casting shadows that stretch too long. your eyes twitch as you stare into the mirror—he’s still there, standing so still it sends a chill down your spine.

the lights flicker again, plunging the room into darkness. your pulse races. you can feel his presence behind you, closer now, even though you haven’t turned around. every hair on your body stands on end, anticipation mingling with fear. when the lights finally come back, your breath catches in your throat.

gojo satoru.

he stands right behind you, towering over your smaller frame, his eyes glowing like cold fire through the mirror. his presence is overwhelming, suffocating, andelectrifying. his ocean-blue gaze locks onto yours through the reflection, freezing you in place. you can’t move, can’t breathe, as his lips curl into a slow, dark smile.

“nahhh, you came at a good time,” he drags out, voice low, rough, as it echoes through the room. the sound of it, mixed with the flickering lights, makes your knees weak. he steps closer, his icy fingers brushing the hem of your skirt, sending a shiver down your spine. your breath hitches as you feel his touch, subtle yet possessive.

“and who are you supposed to be?” his voice is condescending, almost mocking, as his hand continues to toy with the fabric, lifting it just slightly. the way he says it makes your heart race faster, your skin prickling with a mixture of fear and something else—something darker.

you glance up, meeting his gaze in the mirror, tears forming in your eyes. this can’t be real. his white hair falls messily around his face, his long lashes shadowing those dangerously beautiful eyes.

“h-how? y-you’re dead,” you blurt out, ignoring his question as panic takes over. but his chuckle—low, dark—vibrates against the back of your neck, making you shudder. you’re trapped between the mirror and him, his breath warm and taunting against your skin.

“that i am,” he murmurs, his lips so close to your ear, “but you know what they say… energy never dies. you brought me here.” his words wrap around you, suffocating, intoxicating. your mind spins, trying to comprehend. you brought him here? how could you possibly—?

“h-how?” your voice is barely a whisper, trembling as you try to make sense of his words. it feels like the room is shrinking, like the walls are closing in, the air too thick to breathe.

“don’t play dumb now,” he chides, his hand sliding higher up your thigh. the heat of his palm sends sparks through your body. you shouldn’t want this, but the way his fingers tease your skin, the slow drag of his hand, has you clenching your thighs together.

suddenly, it hits you. images of you mocking his memorial, laughing at his statue, flashing through your mind. his low chuckle tells you he knows exactly what you’re remembering.

“i-i didn’t mean-”

“didn’t mean it? nahh, pretty, you fuckin’ meant it.” his plush lips press against your neck, leaving a trail of kisses that make your knees weak. fuck, you shouldn’t be getting turned on by this, by a ghost. yet, your body betrays you, burning up under his touch.

he leans into you, his teeth grazing your exposed skin, making you flinch. fangs? you tremble as he brushes his fingers under your chin, lifting your face so your wide, glossy eyes meet his through the mirror.

“all that nasty energy you have within you… mmm, that’s why.” his voice drops as he nibbles on your earlobe, tugging lightly on your hoop earrings, making you wince.

“‘m sorry, j-just don’t hurt me, I’ll do anything,” you stammer, your voice shaky as his grip on your chin tightens. his movements still, and the way he smirks behind you makes your heart sink. you’ve never felt so exposed, so vulnerable—like you just handed him your dignity on a silver platter.

without a word, he pushes your back down, forcing you to brace yourself against the mirror, your fingertips smudging the glass as you struggle to keep steady. glancing to another mirror, you see him crouching down, eyeing your clothed cunt with dangerous curiosity.

“anything, she says”, gojo quietly says, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as you arch your back just right for him. his eyes darken when he notices how soaked your panties are, the fabric clinging to your folds, sucked in by the wet heat between your thighs. of course, the lights choose now not to flicker—how fucking embarrassing.

with a quick, rough tug, gojo hooks his finger into your panties, pulling them side to side, watching how your chubby folds swallow the fabric before yanking them aside, fully exposing your dripping cunt. you clench hard at the sudden cool breeze against your exposed skin, and he pauses, mesmerized.

“you like this, huh? getting off to a dead man… ohh, you’re disgusting,” he mocks, his voice low and sinister.

“‘m going to make sure you live your dirty fantasies,” he growls, his tone laced with intent.

and he really is.

gojo has been diving into your cunt for what felt like hours, his impossibly slimy tongue lapping up your juices as your gummy walls snugly embrace him. your hands grip the sides of the mirror for dear life, feeling him reach the deepest parts of you. you’re moaning like a bitch in heat, your desperation rising as his spare hand mercilessly toys with your clit, not in cute circles, but pinching and pulling on your sensitive nub with no mercy whatsoever.

your thighs begin to shake uncontrollably as he pushes you to your third orgasm, broken moans escaping your glossed lips. your pussy slowly feels numb, overwhelmed by how hungrily he’s eating you out. do they not feed him in his world?

“ngh—‘toru, it’s too m-much,” you hiccup, and he growls behind you, the sound vibrating through your body. at this point, you’ve completely forgotten about your friends, about the stupid bet—you’re lost in the most toe-curling head of your life.

your stomach churns unexpectedly as you cum again, your brain so fuzzy that you can’t even comprehend it. he loudly slurps up your mess, not wasting a single drop as he licks you clean, your cunt twitching around his tongue. when he pulls his tongue from your gaping hole, your swollen folds throb in response as he grins at your state.

“heh, look at you—just a slut for a ghost!” he taunts, now standing behind you, grinding his achy bulge against your exposed cunt. his eyes never leave your face in the mirror.

“let’s see how much dick she can take,” he mutters to himself, cupping your pussy, clearly addressing her rather than you. as you catch onto his words, a wave of confusion and excitement hits you. how much? there’s more than one?

before you can process anything, you blink once and find yourself in the most insane position you’ve ever been in—full nelson. gojo has you completely at his mercy, holding your legs high above your head with a firm grip, locking you in place like a ragdoll. your tall platform boots dangle helplessly in the air, the sensation thrilling and humiliating as you stare at your reflection in the endless mirrors surrounding you. your stomach twists at the sheer size difference between your body and his, your eyes widening as you see your slick, swollen cunt clenching around nothing, desperate for him.

your miniskirt is now so short that it’s bunched up around your waist, exposing more skin than you’d ever intended. your eyes drop lower, and you gulp as you take in the sight of his cock, standing proudly upright. the base is a tan colour, thick and powerful, with mean veins decorating the sides that pulse with each heartbeat. the bulbous tip is a deep pink, glistening with droplets of cum that catch the dim light.

with one hand firmly securing your legs, gojo uses his other to tease you, rubbing the tip of his cock along your folds, the sensation sending electric jolts through your body. you bite your lip at the girth of his shaft, feeling a mix of excitement and horror. he’s definitely bigger than all your previous exes, and with every second you spend in this position, he brings undeniable shame onto them.

“can you handle it, baby?” he taunts, his voice dripping with condescension as he revels in your predicament.

“yes, I can-”

without lettint you finish, he thrusts into you, burying himself deep within your slick warmth. the suddenness takes your breath away, and you let out a gasp as he fills you completely. his girth stretches you in a way you’ve never experienced before, almost burning as your gummy walls clench around him, trying to accommodate his size. each thrust sends waves of pleasure crashing over you, a delicious blend of pain and ecstasy as you realize you can only take it.

gojo holds you firmly in place, using this ruthless position to keep you utterly at his mercy, revelling in your helplessness. with each powerful thrust, he drives deeper, hitting spots inside you that make your vision blur and your legs tremble. you can’t escape, all you can do is take what he gives you, your body completely surrendered to the pleasure.

“look at you, taking it so well,” he growls, a wicked grin stretching across his face as he watches your reflection in the mirror. your moans fill the room, echoing off the glass, mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin. the sweat glistens on his body, making his white hair stick to his forehead, adding to the rawness of the moment. “you’re nothing but a greedy little slut, aren’t you?”

you can only whimper in response, your head spinning as his relentless rhythm pushes you closer to the edge. your thighs shake uncontrollably as he hits that sweet spot, the coil in your stomach tightening with every thrust. you’ve completely forgotten everything but the way he stretches you out, your body fitting around him perfectly as if you were made for him.

as gojo thrusts into you relentlessly, your collar jingles with every powerful movement, a stark reminder of your current position. each chime echoes in the room, amplifying your vulnerability as he drinks in the sight of your pretty, disheveled form. he watches how your eyes flutter in bliss, how your lips part with each thrust, and how your reflection reflects the pure ecstasy etched across your face.

“what happened to all that toughness?” he sneers, his breath hot against your ear as he quickens his pace. “wanna tell me how stupid this is?” his laughter reverberates through the air, as he reminds you of your sly comment.

the humiliation of his words ignites a flame deep within you, and despite the embarrassment, your body craves more. your jewelry clinks and jingles as he pounds up into you, each sound mingling with the echoes of your moans. the sensation is overwhelming, and you find yourself teetering on the edge of submission, your mind hazy as pleasure clouds your thoughts.

as you struggle to keep your eyes open, the world around you blurs and spins. you can’t tell if it’s the overwhelming pleasure or the way he’s wrecking you, but you swear you see multiple gojos swarming around the two of you in the mirrors. they grin wickedly, each one reflecting the same smug confidence, but you’re too lost in ecstasy to process it completely.

am I seeing things? you wonder,

your mind foggy from the pleasure coursing through your body. each thrust sends you spiral deeper into submission, heat pooling in your core, ready to explode.

then, without warning, you feel another hand, another gojo, playing with your pussy. your eyes shoot open, panic flooding your senses as you choke back a gasp.

he can clone himself!

your body responds eagerly to the dual sensations, the original gojo still jack hammerinh relentlessly inside you while his clone teasingly rubs your clit, heightening your pleasure to unimaginable heights. as if sensing your need, the clone moves closer, rubbing his chubby tip along your widened folds. you scream internally, panic flashing through your mind as he presses against you, the overwhelming stretch igniting both fear and pleasure.

there’s no fucking way.

the clone pushes in slowly, stretching you beyond your limits, sending shockwaves through your body. you cry out, your voice a mix of pleasure and pain, tears brimming in your eyes. he’s moulding himself deep within your walls as you feel every inch of your velvety walls being re-designed for him.

the original gojo leans down, his breath hot against your ear. “c’mon, big baaaad wolf, can you handle both of us?” he taunts the nickname referring to your costume, as his thrusts becoming more forceful as the clone fills you. “i thought you were a big girl.”

you can only moan in response, the sound mingling with the jingle of your jewelry as they continue to drive you wild. the mirrors reflect your state—multiple gojos swarming around you, each one more enticing than the last. their mocking smiles deepen your humiliation, but the pleasure they bring you makes it impossible to care. both their cock heads rushing as if it were a race to reach your cervix as you squeak at the brutal thrusts.

“look at you, a pathetic mess,” the original gojo mocks, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as you squirm between them. your gaze lazily drifts to the your tummy where a large bulge forming beneath your costume, moans escaping your lips at the sight. “you love being filled up like this, don’t you? who’s the stupid one now?”

your body betrays you, your pussy clenching around both of them as they thrust in sync, stretching you to your limits. the lewd squelches and sloshes of your dripping cunt fill the air, drowning out all coherent thoughts. each thrust pushes you closer to the edge, the overwhelming sensations causing your mind to spiral into oblivion.

the clone suddenly flicks your head, thr pain forcing you to look at him, and you feel a rush of clarity amidst the haze. “stay with us, pretty,” he demands, his tone both condescending and sultry.

“we- hgnn -want to see that face you make when you fall apart.” you shudder at the sound of his voice, the way it sends waves of heat coursing through your body.

“mmf—i can’t. . . ’s too much,” you babble, your voice rising higher as the clone continues to push into you, the overwhelming sensation of fullness sending shockwaves through your body. pleasure and pain blur together, and you find yourself lost in a whirlwind of ecstasy.

“ohhh, but you can,” the original gojo growls, thrusting harder, your body shaking as you sob loudly, the sounds echoing off the mirrors as your achy walls clenching around his thick shafts.

every angle captures your struggle—your skin glistening with sweat, your costume soaked and clinging to your curves, and the way you’re trapped between two versions of the man you crave. the reflections amplify the chaos, a never-ending loop of desire and degradation as you’re thrust deeper into submission.

“what about your friends?” the clone taunts, a wicked smirk plastered across his face. “what will they think when they find you like this?” the thought sends a wave of humiliation crashing over you, but the pleasure is relentless, drowning out any semblance of reality.

“anddd what about that bet you had?” the original gojo continues from behind, his voice dripping with mockery. “i bet they wouldn’t believe how much you enjoy being filled up by us.” you nod at his words, sniffles escaping your nostrils as fat globs of tears streak down your cheeks, your makeup a ruined mess.

they’re so deep inside you that it feels like they’re going to split you in half. each thrust stretches you to your limits, their relentless rhythm pushing you closer to the brink.

you swear you feel him in your chest.

“please… i need to—” you gasp, your body trembling as the clone toys with your clit, electric jolts of pleasure coursing through you. your senses blur, and all you can feel is the overwhelming fullness and the pleasure spirall out of control.

“let go, pretty,” the clone whispers, fingers dancing over your sensitive bud. “show us how much you want it.”

with one final thrust from the original gojo, the heat builds to an explosive climax. you feel your body tighten around them, walls pulsing as a tidal wave of pleasure crashes over you.

“fuckk!” you scream, body convulsing as you squirt, release gushing out of you and mixing with his cum. gojo’s thick cum shoots deep inside as he paints your gummy walls a pretty milky white, creating an intense mess that ends up coats your inner thighs. the overwhelming sensation sends you spiraling into a realm of ecstasy, every nerve ending igniting as you succumb to the bliss.

“what a sight,” the original gojo grunts, breath heavy with satisfaction. you’re lost in the aftermath, body shaking as you ride the waves of pleasure, mind fogged with overwhelming satisfaction and disbelief at the chaos that has consumed you.

as you try to come back from your intense orgasm, the clone pulls back and disappears. when gojo finally slides out of your cunt, a waterfall of cum oozes from you, thick globs spilling forth—it’s utterly inhumane. gojo carefully places your wobbly legs, which had been in the air for what felt like hours, back on the ground as you collapse, the numbness too much to bear.

the mess cascades down your gaping hole, sticky and warm, creating a thick pool beneath you. you can’t help but feel utterly exposed, the evidence of their domination staining your costume and making you acutely aware of how thoroughly you’ve been filled.

the sight is almost too much to bear, the way your body quakes with the remnants of pleasure while the glistening fluid slowly drips, accentuating the chaos you’ve just experienced. you feel humiliated yet impossibly aroused, the reflections in the mirrors surrounding you amplifying your vulnerability as he stands, watching you tremble.

“c’mon, baby, your friends have been waiting,” he coos, picking you up bridal style as you mumble nonsense, your brain so fucked that you can barely string a thought together. he strides through the mirror maze and into the last room, steadying you onto the ground for you to exit on your own.

he fixes your hair and outfit, quickly pecking your lips before opening the door and giving you a final push. you stumble out, the cool breeze hitting you like a splash of cold water, bringing you back to reality.

“girl, what the hell took you so long?” your friends shout as you try to steady your wobbly legs. one of them shoves her phone in your face, and your jaw drops.

50 fucking minutes.

“t-the worker was—”

“t-the worker- shut up. now you’re buying us food.” one of them mocks, handing you your belongings while they stare you up and down, taking in how badly you’re shaking and your frizzy hair.

“jeez did a demon fuck you? you look like you got meannn dick in there,” she jokes, and everyone bursts into laughter, including you. they have no idea what you’ve just been through, but you can’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo smut #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo smut #gojo x reader smut #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #smut #anime smut #kinktober

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fanfictionismyaddiction · 1 month ago

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WAG Bootcamp: Part 2

Part 1

Word count: 593

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Summary: On her first-ever race day, Y/n experiences the chaos, stress, and excitement of Formula 1 as the WAGs teach her how to survive the emotional rollercoaster.

________________________________________________________

Y/n thought she had survived the worst of the initiation. She had learned the pre-race rituals, mastered (or at least attempted) the mysterious “paddock girlfriend face,” and even accepted that she now had to irrationally hate any driver who so much as looked at Lando the wrong way.

But nothing could have prepared her for race day.

The paddock was buzzing with energy—fans screaming, engines roaring, and mechanics in a frenzy. Y/n had barely taken a sip of her coffee when Kika grabbed her arm.

“Alright, rookie. Time for the next lesson.”

“What now?” Y/n asked warily.

“How to survive a Grand Prix,” Lily said, tossing her a pair of noise-canceling headphones. “Trust me, you’ll need these.”

Lesson Four: The Race-Day Survival Guide

Y/n followed the WAGs to the McLaren hospitality area, where they had their usual spots. The screens showed the cars lining up on the grid, and she could already feel her heart pounding.

“Step one,” Alex said, crossing her arms. “No matter what happens, you do not freak out on camera. If Lando crashes, you hold it together until you’re inside.”

“Wait—crashes?” Y/n swallowed. “We’re talking about, like, little crashes, right?”

Silence.

“Right?”

Susie patted her shoulder. “You’ll be fine, dear.”

Not comforting.

“Step two,” Rebecca added, “learn the art of selective hearing. The commentators will say stupid things, the fans will tweet even dumber things, and some guy named David Croft will mispronounce names. Ignore it.”

“Step three,” Carmen leaned in, lowering her voice. “If Lando is leading, do not say out loud that he’s going to win. You will jinx it.”

Y/n blinked. “You guys actually believe in jinxes?”

Kelly, who had remained quiet until now, turned to her with a dead-serious expression. “Max retired from Monaco 2021 because I said, ‘This is going well.’”

Y/n gasped. “Oh my God.”

“We don’t talk about it,” Kika muttered.

The lights went out, and the race began.

Lesson Five: How to Emotionally Handle a Race (Spoiler: You Don’t)

It started fine. Lando had a clean start, holding position. Y/n sat on the edge of her seat, gripping her hands together, trying not to scream every time someone got too close to him.

Then, lap 12 happened.

A driver—who Y/n immediately decided to despise for eternity—dove down the inside, nearly taking Lando out.

Y/n shot to her feet. “WHAT THE—”

Lily yanked her back down. “Cameras!” she hissed.

“That was reckless!” Y/n whisper-yelled, furious.

“Congratulations,” Alex smirked. “You just experienced your first ‘what the hell was that’ moment. There will be many more.”

For the next thirty laps, Y/n experienced every emotion possible. Joy when Lando made an overtake. Panic when the pit stop took too long. Rage when another driver squeezed him off track. She nearly passed out when he was fighting for a podium.

And then—P2.

“He did it!” Y/n gasped as Lando crossed the line.

The WAGs cheered, clapping and hugging.

Y/n exhaled, feeling like she had just run a marathon. “I don’t know if I can do this every weekend.”

“You will,” Kelly said, sipping her drink. “Welcome to the rest of your life.”

Lesson Six: The Post-Race Debrief

After a chaotic cooldown period, Y/n finally found Lando, still in his race suit, hair messy from his helmet, grinning as he pulled her into a hug.

“How was your first race?” he asked, slightly breathless.

Y/n looked at him, remembering everything—the stress, the screaming, the insane group of women who had taken her in.

She smiled.

“Terrifying. But I think I love it.”

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mxnhoo · 2 months ago

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rollercoaster (s. jy)

╰➤ sim jaeyun x reader featuring wonyoung, liz, giselle, literally the whole of bnd, rei, chan synopsis having nothing to do in girls night, you and your gals decided that downloading a dating app would be absolutely perfect to spice up your lives. seeing the males on the dating app, you get violently irked out until you see someone who seems at least half-decent, which so happens to be a guy named "Sim Jaeyun" and it kicks off with him! until you.. start feeling the need.. to.. push away. genre looots of banter, romance, comedy, enemies to lovers, reader has a chaotic friendgroup, dating app, coffee shop, overseas trip, slowburn, reader is chaotic and loud at times, lots of coincidences/surprises, jake is annoying as fuck and super sarcastic lol, reader is awkward with new people and daydreams a lot, did i mention banter?, camping/out in the forest, they both secretly do things for each other, jake loves astronomy and seeing the stars, somewhat heated confrontation!, alone in the pool, dancing, partially proofread(?) word count 17,836 warning reader has an avoidant attachment lol, did i already say avoidant attachment?, vulnerability, ghosting, reader has to face her attachment issues, mentions of death/wanting to die, mentions of anxiety, LOTS of cursing, "go to hell", like one suggestive joke, mentions of stalking, jake mocks her attachment/issues, joking use of "i'm going to kill you", lmk if i missed anything cly's note i'm so happy this is done. i had this idea since last year november i had so much fun writing certain parts and you can definitely tell which, but i despised the other parts LOL omygosh i hate this sm but hope yall can enjoy it. ive been so inactive so this is my return!

now playing rollercoaster - bleachers "You are such a rollercoaster, and a killer queen you are"

“Hey, how ‘bout Wony goes next?” Liz exclaimed, and everyone silently agreed. Wonyoung reached her hand out towards the bottle that was sitting in the centre, twisting her hand and spinning it.

You and your friend group was having a girl’s night, and you all were planning to gossip and have fun all night, but it turns out the current situation was the exact opposite. Everyone’s eyes watched as the bottle spun, the speed of the bottle gradually slowing down as it eventually stopped at..

You.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Wonyoung shot at you, her tone slightly uninterested and you shrugged.

“I dunno, truth, I guess?”

Everyone remained silent, waiting for someone to come up with a genius question that would make you reveal things about you that they didn’t know about.

Which was practically impossible.

The entire friend group have been together with each other for about 4 years, and even despite being separated by going to college, keeping up with each other wasn’t difficult, and hence, everyone knew everything about each other.

“Any.. questions?” you called out, in hopes that someone would miraculously have a fun question that hasn’t been asked already.

“Not really, no. We already know everything about you,” Giselle, who was sitting across from you, answered.

“Would you date any guy from your class?” Liz enthusiastically questioned, almost as if she didn’t already know your answer.

“No. They’re all either weird, ugly, or have a bad personality,” you sternly responded, your tone disappointed.

Everyone sighed at the expected answer, either leaning back or just scratching their heads.

“This is so boring,” Wonyoung bluntly said, puffing air on one side of her cheek and though it was harsh, she was right.

“Isn’t there anything fun to do?” you questioned, completely leaning backwards and laying back on the cold tiled floor, staring at the ceiling. It was dark outside, and you wanted to make the most out of your time before you go home, since meet ups with them were quite rare.

“Nah man, we already know everything about each other, there’s nothing to ask,” Giselle responded, going on her phone and scrolling.

“This sucks, no fun thing, no fun love life. Why’re all the guys in our classes so damn ugly?” you whined, letting out a loud sigh afterwards and resting your arm on your forehead.

“Hey, I might’ve found something fun,” Giselle muttered, as her finger stopped scrolling.

“What did you say?” Wonyoung responded, her eyes shooting up to Giselle, her expression curious.

“Dating apps!” Giselle announced.

“C’mon bro, that’s so bori-” “Let’s see how many people like our profile in 24 hours, how ‘bout that?” Giselle exclaimed, clearly proud at her idea.

Everyone rose up from their half-alive state, unitedly looking at Giselle as if she had just suggested the most thrilling and juiciest activity.

Liz questioned, "Aren't guys there like.. creeps?".

"Well, sure! But not all of them!" Giselle exclaimed, feeling proud at her idea.

“I mean, why not right?” you giggled, finally feeling alive after having the most boring truth-or-dare session.

And that was how you were on your study table, scrolling on your phone using that very same dating app.

Even after the 24th hour mark and comparing the number of likes each of you got, you were still scrolling through the profiles, either liking them and rejecting them.

You knew people on the app weren't so.. proper, but you were looking forward to it because of new experiences and fun, and who knows? You might even find 'the one' here. 'The one' who you're fated to be with, and go through everything with.

Your eyebrows raised as the profiles kept coming in non-stop, anticipating that you'd find someone at least half-decent. So far, all of the profiles are all fuckboys who don't show their face on their profile with bios like "Let's fuck" or "FWBs??".

Fuck no. Absolutely not.

Either that, or boys who full on show their body and stick out their tongues like some frat boys. You couldn't tell which one irked you more.

You sighed, your finger hovering over the dislike button. And that was when you saw it.

"Jaeyun Sim | Jake", and it was photo of a male who looked genuine. In the first photo, he was holding the strap to this big.. fluffy.. cute dog?

Wow, he's cute. The dog, actually. Or is the dog a girl? Whatever.

And him too you could say — this.. "Jake".

Intrigued by this profile, you scrolled through his photos. The first photo was him walking his supposed dog, then as you swiped, you're met with him cuddling his dog and having a surprisingly cute smile. Then the next, he's wearing a white long sleeve, and he seems to be in a field..? And it seems to be sunset with how the background is a pinkish-grey sky.

Shit. He's kinda cute.

"Here just for fun! Loves music, just wanna vibe here tbh. Friends!".

Your eyes wandered as you thought about pressing the like button.

It's just once.

What's the worst that could happen?

Your finger slowly hovered over the button as you thought about pressing it, suddenly feeling hesitant, but in a quick second you forced your finger down and you instantly squaled, turning your phone and facing it downwards flat on your table.

You had to take a breather, processing what you just did and realising the whole situation. You sighed and relaxed your shoulders — it wasn't that serious right? He didn't actually know you right? Whatever. This whole thing isn't that serious.

And your whole perspective flipped when you heard your phone go off, your hands instantly flipping it upwards and seeing that he messaged. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped, surprised at the instant response and you stared at the screen for a second, mentally preparing yourself.

simjaeeejake liked your profile. You both matched! Start chatting now!

simjaeeejake : HEYYY WASSUP

You stared at the message, biting your lips as you started to type.

y/n : YOOOO y/n : how r u!

simjaeeejake : TIRED. simjaeeejake : But we gotta stay LOCKED IN!

You puffed up your cheeks, feeling intimidated yet impressed at his immediate and energetic response.

y/n : AS U SHOULD!

He didn't respond immediately so you started to think if your response was over the top.

Oh shit, did he think you were a weirdo?

simjaeeejake : YEAHH simjaeeejake : I'm jake by the way

Nevermind. All's good.

y/n : i'm y/n l/n y/n : just call me y/n

You were slightly smiling, feeling slightly excited because he matched your energy well.

And that's how you talked to him for not one. Not two. But three hours straight. You didn't even know you had that much socialising power in you, you felt like 30 minutes of conversation with someone you knew was draining, but here you were, talking to someone for 3 hours straight.

And would you be surprised if I said the talking became a daily? Not 3 hours though — that'd be a stretch, but still — daily. You'd found out that he was in your neighbouring university, the universities only being separated by a few train stops, and that he really likes astronomy.

simjaeeejake : No cos simjaeeejake : I really love songs that just make you "feel" YKWIM

y/n : OOOH y/n : if you really love that y/n : i think you'd like rollercoaster by the bleachers y/n : I SWEAR IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL

simjaeeejake : Oh! simjaeeejake : About that.. simjaeeejake : I know..

y/n : you know?

Thinking about what he meant, you gasped as you came to realisation 5 seconds later.

y/n : WAIT YOU KNOW THE SONG???

You stared at his typing bubble, anticipating to his response.

simjaeeejake : IT WAS SUMMER WHEN I SAWW YOUR FACEE

y/n : LOOKED LIKE A TEENAGE RUNAWAY

You sat up from your bed, genuinely feeling ecstatic as someone knew the very song you loved with your entire heart.

y/n : WHAT THE FUCK y/n : I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG

simjaeeejake : Oh is it? simjaeeejake : Will defi take note

simjaeeejake pinned "I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG".

And that's how you learnt a lot about a man you've never met in real life. He's studying something related to business, he has a cute female border collie named Layla, he shat his pants when he was 8, he especially loves My Chemical Romance, and there's more things you could've listed down.

Your friends could've listed them down too, from how much you talked about him in your shared groupchats.

Poor them! They were so obviously tired.

And the reason why they were even more annoyed is because you were talking so much about a man you have not met up with.

That sounds pathetic.

But you were completely okay with not meeting him, because if you met him, it'd start to feel a bit too... real. And you didn't want that.

But the day came.

simjaeeejake : HEY

y/n : HI

simjaeeejake : Crazy idea but..

y/n : UH HUH...

Your face leaned closer to the screen, watching his text bubble.

simjaeeejake : What if we met up.

Your smile dropped, feeling the excitement in you slowly slip away as you read the message.

simjaeeejake : IT'D BE SO FUN YKYK simjaeeejake : Like we can go see the stars w my telescope simjaeeejake : YKYK

You frowned, reading the messages.

y/n : uhhh

You bit your lip, feeling immense discomfort.

simjaeeejake : ?? Why

y/n : HAHAHAHA

You tried to think about a response that wouldn't blow him off.

simjaeeejake : What

y/n : sorry

simjaeeejake : Why??

y/n : uh y/n : i don't really like meeting up

simjaeeejake : Huh

y/n : not really my thanggg

You tried to be casual about it.

simjaeeejake : Okayyyy ms anxiety simjaeeejake : Ok but fr tho simjaeeejake : It'd be so fun simjaeeejake : Can't I be an exception?

You made a disgusted face at his response.

Ms Anxiety? Exception? Seriously? Who are you?

You closed the app, placing your phone on the bed as you stared at the ceiling, feeling as if you'd just lost a friend. Your phone vibrated again, and you looked at the notifications.

simjaeeejake : U good? simjaeeejake : Did i say something?

You sucked your inner cheek, thinking of a response but you turned your phone off, leaving this as a problem for later.

Laughter filled the room as you wiped the tears from your eyes. You could only feel your abdomen grow increasingly sore as your laughter becomes more intense. You pleaded, "No- stop!" as you continued laughing.

Liz continued, "And he did it.. again!".

Her comment caused the laughing session to continue, everyone having tears coming out of their eyes. Liz was ranting about a guy she'd met on the dating app, and it literally proves the point that people there are literally.. hopeless.

Wonyoung, who was slowly calming down, spoke, "So you're telling me that when he saw you for the first time, he ran up to you, slipped ONCE, got back up, and then slipped again not even 3 seconds later?".

Liz's eyes lit up and she pointed to Wonyoung, "Exactly that!".

All of you had gathered again, but finally with more stories to share especially after the dating app idea. The group has finally became lively again after the energy had been constantly stagnant for the past.. God knows how long.

The conversation continues, but it eventually lands on..

"Talking about meeting up, say, Y/N, you haven't been talking about that.. who was it..?" Giselle spoke.

"Jaeyoon? Jaehyun?" Wonyoung guessed as she tried to recall.

"Jaeyun. Sim Jaeyun, Jake," you corrected, your mood suddenly flipping.

Everyone wiggled their eyebrows at each other while making syncronised "oo" sounds. Liz placed her palms on the table, leaning towards you, "You even know his full name, huh?".

You gave her a weirded out look, "F'course I do! How could I not? It's literally in his profile!".

Liz nodded slowly, leaning backwards as she eyed the others.

Wonyoung spat out directly, "Are you dating him?"

"WHAT?!"

"You are! Aren't you?"

"No! Absolutely not!"

Everyone gasped.

"Y/N.. you don't need to lie," Giselle rubbed your back and you snapped your neck at her.

"I'm not lying! I haven't spoken to him in a while!" you confessed at the heat of the moment.

Everyone gasped, but this time there was complete silence afterwards. Everyone gave each other the look and you bit your lip.

Wonyoung pouted, "Is everything okay, girlie? What happened? You used to talk about him in our groupchat so much..".

You sighed as you leaned back onto the seat cushion, "He asked to meet up".

Everyone looked at you, anticipating to the rest of the story, "Then..?".

You looked at them with a puzzled expression, wondering what else they were waiting for. "That's all.." you muttered.

Everyone let out sounds of confusion. Giselle questioned, "What?! So you ghosted him?!"

Liz continued Giselle's question, "And it was because he asked to meet up?!".

You immediately felt defensive, facing your hands towards them and indicating them to stop, "It was scary, okay! What if.. I dunno, he's like a serial killer or something?".

Everyone gave you a glare, questioning your thinking process.

Giselle voiced out first, "Girl... weren't you talking about how 'genuine' and 'kind' he was.. what 'serial killer' bullshit are you thinking about..?".

You felt slightly guilty, now realising how childish it was that you ghosted him over something so small. Wonyoung snapped, catching everyone's attention, "How long has it been?".

"Since I ghosted?" you replied.

"No shit."

You pouted at their sassy response, pulling out your phone from your pocket and pressing into the app, careful not to press into the chat and read the messages.

"It's been.. 3 days?".

Everyone's jaw dropped in sync and Giselle held your shoulder tightly, "Girl! You better respond to that man!".

You felt helpless, "What for! He probably forgot about me already! I don't even know what excuse I'd give for not responding!".

Wonyoung leaned over the table and swiftly snatched your phone, causing you to gasp. Immediately, you try to fight back for the phone but Wonyoung started typing.

"Sent!".

Your heart dropped, "What exactly did yo-!".

You were interrupted when Giselle covered your mouth, your words being muffled and Giselle apologising to the other customers for your loudness.

That's when you looked around and saw all the unpleasant expressions from the workers and the other customers, and you tilted your head downwards to gesture that you were sorry.

You slowly sat back down, taking a deep braeth in as you looked at Wonyoung. "What. Did. You. Send?" you asked, your tone clearly infuriated.

"I sent him.." Wonyoung looked at the screen, reading out from the text message in a sassy tone, "omygosh hi, i'm so sorry but my phone broke. hope you don't get the wrong idea".

You realised how she was all smiley and giggly and you stared at her, only wishing you could slap that smile away. You took a deep breath as you tried to remain composed, clearing all the negative thoughts.

"And he responded!"

"WHAT?!"

Giselle immediately pulled you down to your seat.. again.. after you accidentally shouted and stood up. "Gosh.. Y/N.. we're gonna get kicked out," she tugged on your sleeve and you rested your forehead on your hands.

"Jokes!"

"You guys.." you sighed, feeling worn out, "are going to be the death of me..".

"He responded!!"

"WHAT?!?"

And that's how the 4 of you got kicked out.

"Gosh.. we weren't even being that loud.." Wonyoung complained as she rolled her eyes.

"Right!" Liz agreed, feeling wronged.

"Whatever," you rolled your eyes, feeling irritated at them instead of being kicked out. You started walking first, not saying your goodbyes and you heard them yell behind you.

"You better respond to his text!" "Update us!" "Don't ghost him again!"

You were thankful you were the only one heading this way, and you waved your hand without turning back.

You'd finished washing up, rubbing your damp hair with your towel as you sat on the bed, looking at your phone notifcations until you saw his name on the notifications.

Oh. Right.

You held your phone properly, carefully checking the notification and not clicking on it.

simjaeeejake : Thought you ghosted me for a sec simjaeeejake : What even happened

You hesitated, feeling the guilt fully set in and you sighed.

y/n : i kinda y/n : dropped my phone in boiling water

simjaeeejake : While cooking or something?

y/n : yea yea exactly!

simjaeeejake : But you said you can't cook

Oh shit. He's right.

y/n : uh y/n : i saw a recipe y/n : seemed cool, wanted to try it out

simjaeeejake : Hmm simjaeeejake : Okay

Man. Hopefully he bought that.

You felt guilty, so you continued the conversation, but there was still something inside of you making it uncomfortable, so your responses had breaks in between them, were less lively and drier than usual.

simjaeeejake : Okayy I gotta go now, mom's rushing me out simjaeeejake : Need to catch the stars tonight

You heaved a sigh of relief, thankful the conversation was ending.

y/n : okayy

You were about to close the chat until you saw his chat bubble appear. You stayed, curious to what else he had to say.

simjaeeejake : Btw simjaeeejake : I know something's up simjaeeejake : So if i did anything wrong, lmk simjaeeejake : Or if you need reassurance, lmk too simjaeeejake : I'm not a bad guy, I promise simjaeeejake : I really like what we have, so I hope we can progress :)

You stared at his messages, your chest being filled with all sorts of different emotions.

simjaeeejake : Sleep soon simjaeeejake : Gn Y/N

You felt reassured and happy, but at the same time there was this thing at the back of your head telling you to run. Ignore him. Ghost him again. You rubbed your forehead, feeling distressed, and you sent a quick reply before throwing your phone somewhere on the bed.

y/n : goodnight, jake.

You stared at the ceiling.

"Maybe I do have a chance at this.. 'relationship' bullshit," you mumbled to yourself. You sighed before turning over and plunging your head to your pillow.

"I really hope you'd take me in as an employee!" you pleaded with a big smile plastered across your face, watching as your interviewer nods in approval with a subtle smile. You watched as he took down notes and you awkwardly looked around, the big smile still on your face.

After a few seconds of writing sounds, he closed his book and you sat up straight, anticipating to what was next. He cleared his throat and you leaned in closer, praying for good news.

"So.." he started off. You bit your lip, feeling as the anxiety starts creeping in. He continues, "You start next week. Come in some time this week to pick up your uniform, yes? This weekend you'll get your training".

You felt so overjoyed you wanted to run around and hug your interviewer. "Yes- of course sir! I mean, yes sir!".

"Don't call me sir, call me Chan," he reassured, his tone friendly.

"Yes sir! I mean- sir Chan! I mean Chan!" you stuttered, clearly not being able to contain your excitement.

As soon as you stepped out of the cafe, you immediately texted your friends without care about your physical surroundings.

y/n : IM GOING FOR THAT OVERSEAS PROGRAMMEEE y/n : I GOT THE JOB I CAN FUND MY SHIT

giselle : DAMNN giselle : congrats girlie omg

wony : YAYYYYY wony : asking for a friend! do you have staff discount

liz : CONGRATS GIRL!! liz : ^^ what wony said

There was this upcoming overseas programme that happened yearly, and you begged your dad to go and he allowed you under one condition — you paid for 70% of the fees.

So here you were, getting a job in a cafe that paid fairly well. The programme was in about 3-4 months, and you'd started your school break so you'd have a lot of time to work and get that bag.

The streets were bustling, lots of cars and people walking, and it was quite impressive that you haven't bumped into someone or a pole. And that was when you did.

Your face bumped into a hard chest causing you to instantly look up. The male quickly scurried away as he muttered a swift 'sorry', and he had black hair and glasses. You watched as he entered the cafe you were working at and you rubbed your nose, slowly rubbing the pain away. You shrugged and you continued your way, planning to respond to the girls' messages later.

Jake? Well, you did it again. You ghosted the man when he initiated to meet up, contacted him again when you felt guilty and repeated. But last week, it was final.

This cycle has been going on for about a month, and you almost didn't know how he never ghosted you at least once. He stopped contacting you, so you were somewhat grateful yet you felt like apologising for the mess.

But you knew that if you apologise, the cycle would start again, so you decided to break it.

The dating app? You deactivated your account and deleted the app, deciding that dating apps really didn't have 'the' one you'd be fated with. The perfect one that you'd never want to avoid, unlike Jake.

Your life now was perfect. No man, no worries, no school for the mean time, and you were working part time at a cafe that had an environment that made you thrilled. You were also looking forward to the overseas trip, so life seemed ideal.

"Order for.. Yeppi?" you read out the unusual name, tilting your head, worried you were saying it wrongly.

Immediately, a man rushed towards your counter, giggling and you observed a distressed guy trailing after him.

"See, Sungho! 'Yeppi' sounds cute!" the guy nearer to you spoke.

You looked at the two of them, puzzled to what their banter was about. The supposed 'Sungho' ran his hand through his hair, frustrated as he approached you, muttering a small "thanks" as he took his drink. You gave an awkward smile and as soon as they turned their backs, you could see Sungho smack the other.

"I'll get back at you, Jaehyun!" Sungho threatened, ignoring the fact that Jaehyun was rubbing his arm after the hard smack.

You giggled at their fun banter, the confusion dissolving as you understood the situation. You went back to the counter, ready to serve anyone who's ready to order.

Having nothing to do, you opened the register and started to count the money, wanting to make use of your time. The chime of the entrance bell sounded, but being in the midst of counting cash, you didn't look up.

With a few notes left, you were almost done until you heard a soft, "Hello" at the counter. Your head shot up to look at the customer, but your smile instantly dropped. Your face went cold and you accidentally dropped the cash, still staring at the customer in front of you.

"Oh..?" the customer muttered.

"Oh.." you replied.

You inspected his features. His hair was the same colour and shaped the same way. His glasses had the same tape at the side. He had the same piercings in the photo.

You confirmed it.

It was him, the guy from the dating app.

It was Jake.

Your first instinct was to bend down to pick up the notes you'd dropped, and well — hide. Duh. The man you'd shamelessly ghosted was standing right there, and you'd have to talk to him — no, look at him at the bare minumum while serving him.

You mumbled all the curse words you knew under your breath as you picked up the last few notes, mentally preparing yourself before you stood back up.

You were met with his amused face, his arms folded as he raised his eyebrows at you. You looked down immediately at the cash register, slotting in the cash at its' designated spot as you clear your throat, hoping he didn't recognise you.

"If it isn't Ms Anxiety herself," he broke the silence.

Nevermind. He did. And he did not seem happy.

You cleared your throat again, plastering the most professional expression on your face as you clapped your palms together. "What would you like, Sim Jaeyun?".

"And Ms Anxiety remembers my full government name. Impressive," he mocked and your professional expression immediately dropped.

"Look, don't make this hard for me," you grumbled, breaking the professional image.

"Hard? For you? Was it hard to.. I dunno.. send a text back?" he attacked, his expression clearly displeased.

"Oh please, Jaeyun—"

"Actually, I prefer Jake," he perfectly interrupted you, a smirk on his face, "please use that instead".

Of course he wasn't going to make this easy. But what did you expect?

You huffed out air, almost thinking that this was all a dream from how coincidental and bizzare this whole situation was. He seemed so sweet over text, but seeing how he acted made you realise he was snarky and irritating

He spoke up again, "No offense, but I don't think there's any way for you to.. ghost me right now", his eyes wandered around, "especially since I'm the customer.. and you're the—"

"Okay, damn! I get it!" you scowled, biting your lip hard afterwards. You shot out, "What do you want?!".

He hummed and pretended to think about it for a few seconds, "Hmm.. you to explain why you ghosted me".

"Not that! Your damn order!"

He gave a soft smile, "Oh right, that".

He's fucking unbelievable.

You bit your lip in frustration as you eyed him down, all the curse words threatening to pour out of your mouth. He raised his eyebrows and stared at you, "I think.." he hummed, "I'll have your usual?".

"Your usual?" you shot, "Don't tell me you're a regular here?".

"You bet I am! Happy 'bout that?" he gave a cheeky smile.

You stared at him in disbelief, wishing you could just.. crumble into a hole and be buried until you die. You sighed and turned around, running your hand through your hair until you heard him snapping his fingers.

"Hello?" snap snap "My usual?".

You turned back around, giving him the most dead expression you could ever make out, "And how am I supposed to know your usual?".

"Maybe you could apologise for ghosting me and I'll let you know," he grinned from ear to ear, having high expectations that you'd give in.

Oh man. This job definitely wasn't going to be easy.

To make things worse? You've already taken up 5 shifts a week for 2 months to get as much money before your trip.

And if you think about it, you're definitely going to have to memorise his 'usual' sooner or later.

Oh man.

"It was summer when I saw your face," you sang into the tip of the broom, singing along to your favourite song that was playing in the cafe.

The infamous "Rollercoaster" by Bleachers.

You switched between sweeping and dancing, feeling free because you were closing alone.

"Man, I'm never the same," you sang, "We were shotgun lovers, I'm a—"

"You're a shotgun running away".

You screamed, immediately turning around at the sudden voice. You held the broom close to you and your heart accelerated from the scare. You thought it was ghost, but no it was something worse — Jake.

He leaned on the counter, "No wonder you loved the song, fits you so well".

You recovered from the scare, your face twisting as you retorted, "What the fuck are you doing here! We're closed!".

"Not yet," he pointed to the clock.

9:59.

One. Fucking. Minute. To. Closing.

"My usual, yep?" he voiced out, his tone irritating that you were tempted to jump on him and rip his hair out.

"And if I don't?"

"I can complain to your managers and get you fired. I'm close to all of them since I c'mere so often," he stared at the ceiling and scratched his head, "Surely you wouldn't want that, right?".

"Fuck you".

"Your usual?" you questioned, watching as he leaned forward and rested his head on his elbow, giving you a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes, already prepared to make his order.

"Nah- na-uh, I have a special request," he squeeked.

You turned around and frowned at him, his face bringing you over the edge further.

"Put it under the name, 'The Best Jake'," he requested as he pointed a finger upwards, his tone cocky and you simply scoffed, walking away.

Upon finishing his drink, it pained you but you wrote it according to his request, 'The Best Jake'. You huffed out in irritation before walking up to the counter.

No way you were gonna say it out loud.

"Jake," you called out, staring at him as he sat down, occupied on his phone but to no avail.

You sighed, thinking you weren't loud enough, so you called him again.

And again.

And no fucking response. The boy was giggling at his phone and seemed completely oblivious to you calling him.

You definitely weren't going to walk over to him, so you did another thing that pained your heart.

"The best Jake."

"Yes, coming!" his whole body turned to you as he got off of his seat in a heartbeat, making his way towards you and you stared in him in disbelief.

He gave you a satisfied smile as he snatched the drink away from you as you watched him walk away. You were in disbelief, flabbergasted — no way that just happened.

Your new friend hit your shoulder as he continued to laugh.

"You—" laugh "gosh, I wish I would've seen that!" Leehan wiped his tears, his grin from ear to ear as you shared your work experiences with him.

"This 'Jake' guy is actually hilarious!" he commented.

To be specific, your experiences with Jake.

"It really isn't that funny, Donghyun" you snarked and his laughter started to calm down.

"Aw c'mon! Don't go using my actual name now. I wish I was working too when that happened!" he giggled and pushed you jokingly.

"Too bad, it was like a week before you joined," you sulked, sticking out your tongue and leaning on the counter.

Leehan whined as he walked over to lean on the counter beside you.

"Isn't it crazy that we study in the same campus?" he questioned, wanting to change the topic before you get too upset.

You sighed before glancing at him, "Mhm, hopefully we can bump into each other".

You both stood next to each other in silence, when you suddenly thought about your programme. "Say, are you attendi—".

"It's time to close!" he announced, clearly ecstatic at the thought of finishing up and going home. Your eyes shot to the clock, realising he was right. It was 10 sharp.

You watched him as he pushed off the counter and stretched his body. You silently sighed, thinking you'd ask him soon if he was attending the same overseas programme as you.

After 2 whole months of enduring Jake — and working of course, you were finally going to take a break since your trip was approaching. You'd originally planned to resign, but it became hard because you've met Leehan, and all your other amazing colleagues.

Your manager patted your back, giving you a sense of praise as he gave you a proud grin. "Have enough money for the trip? Want more?" he asked.

You hummed a little bit as you thought about his question. Was he offering you money? Of course you can't turn down an offer like that!

"Mmm... I might not have enough," you muttered, praying you'd get spare change from him.

He gave you a reaussring giggle as he patted your back, making you feel content before his laugh suddenly came to a halt.

"Too bad, work more then," he shot coldly and you whined, watching how he breaks into laughter afterwards.

"You're too cold.." you complained and sighed, folding your arms.

He calmed down and patted your back, "I'm sure you've earned enough, I'm almost sick of seeing your face every single day".

You giggled, the thought that you won't be working here for a while feeling somewhat bittersweet. He looked at his watch and straightened his posture, "Alright, time to go, Y/N, will see you when you return from the trip?".

"Yes, sir," you saluted.

You quickly packed up your belongings, and as you were about to leave, your manager suddenly called out.

"Oh right, before I forget, I remember there's someone who's in the same flight and programme as you!" he called out, and you felt relieved at his words.

You sighed in relief, and you were about to ask from across the store who it was but customers started coming in, so the manager quickly gestured for you to leave and waved.

Now, it was time for your trip. It was going to be the time of your life, and you were so determined to make new friends, new memories, new—

"Oh, you like that? Me too!" you spat out nervously, your voice squeeky as you tried to get to know the other people who were in the same group as you.

They nervously laughed and turned away from you, making you feel awkward. It seemed like they already knew each other from the way they kept glancing at each other and making looks.

Well, fuck.

New friends? Maybe not..

It's okay. You could still make new memories, right?

You walked away, dragging your luggage with you as you stood alone, observing the people that were obviously grouped together already. You were eyeing and judging people based on how friendly they looked, and plotting to befriend them.

Besides, didn't your manager say Leehan was in the same programme and flight as you? He should be appearing any second.

Your eyes scanned from left to right slowly, mentally taking note of the different details of the people for future reference, and as you continued, your eyes come to a halt.

You panicked and your hands fiddled as it tried to find your luggage handle, your eyes not being able to leave the person. You felt the blood in your face disappear and your heart beat rapidly as you finally gripped onto your luggage handle and started running away.

You couldn't believe who you just saw. You just saw Sim. Fucking. Jaeyun. Fucking JAKE. Out of ALL people.

Luck wasn't on your side though, because when you started running towards the other direction, it only took you 5 seconds before you bumped into a person's chest, making your luggage fall flat onto the airport floor, a loud slap sound echoing throughout the place.

Everyone glanced at you, but you made sure your back was facing the crowd to ensure that Jake... wasn't aware that you were in the same programme and flight as you.

You rubbed your nose, feeling the pain after the impact of bumping violently into someone, and you looked up, feeling the need to apologise to the person.

"Sorr—" you apologised, but stopped when you saw the person, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to recall who he was, "Wait.. aren't you the 'Yeppi' guy?".

"Oh my god," he facepalmed himself while still offering a hand to you. You took his hand and he helped to pull you up, your eyes glued onto him as you remembered that incident in the cafe when you still first started working.

"Sungho! Not 'Yeppi', thank you!" he replied, his eyebrows furrowing at you.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar laugh trail behind Sungho, your head looking over Sungho's shoulder and you saw another familiar figure.

"See! Even strangers call you that!" the man laughed as he walked to stand beside Sungho, and as his eyes land on you, he gasped and pointed at you.

"Y/N!" he called loudly and you panicked, covering his mouth instantly, your head slightly turning over your shoulder to see if Jake heard, and thankfully he was still in his own world, talking to other people.

"You..! How do you know my name!" you whisper-shouted and the man panicked, his eyes widened as he felt unsure what to do with a 'stranger' covering his mouth.

He mumbled out gibberish you couldn't comprehend, and he had to slap your arm repeatedly before you let go of his mouth. He gave you a dramatic sigh and dusted his hands.

"The cafe!" he pouted. "I never said my name!" you shot. "Your freaking nametag!" he complained, feeling wronged.

You had to stare at him for a second, recalling if you wore a nametag, and you indeed wore a nametag.

"Oh.." you muttered out of realisation.

"Hey! You're so mean, Y/N! How could yo—" he pointed a finger to you before you covered his mouth again, desperately not wanting your identity to be known.

"Stop. Saying. My. Name. Out. Loud. Help me out here," you whisper-shouted again, your words sharp and Sungho giggled, enjoying the show in front of him.

"Stop.. covering.. my.. mo—" Jaehyun fought for his life, trying to get out a few words as you covered his mouth more.

He smacked your arm again and you let him go.

"Fine, fine! I'll stop saying your name!" he gave in, feeling wronged and he pouted.

He added on, "But why should I help you?! We're not even friends!".

You stepped back and sighed, straightening your posture and clothes.

"Hi, my name is Y/N L/N. I major in Film Studies, and I enjoy anything related to music. You guys are my friends now, Sungho and..."

"Hah! You don't even kno—"

"Jaehyun. His name's Jaehyun," Sungho butted in, giggling again as he saw Jaehyun's little tantrum from his name being given away.

"So Jaehyun and Sungho? Got it," you thought out loud, memorising their names and faces.

You and Sungho teased Jaehyun a little bit, until Jaehyun suddenly spat out a question, "Say, why don't you want us to say your name?".

You jogged to place yourself behind them, holding their shoulders, and discreetly pointing to the main target, "Him".

"Jake?" they both said in confusion.

"SHH!"

You sighed, before continuing, "Long story short, we met on a dating app, I ghosted him, and he's so not happy about it!".

"Whaat? Why'd you ghost him?" Sungho questioned.

"I am NOT doing this right now," you recalled to when your girlfriends asked the same question, and the incident in the restaurant you ate at.

Both males sighed as they began to understand the situation. You began to feel nervous, thinking if they were friends with him.

"Wait, you guys aren't friends with him, right?" "Not really," Sungho responded.

Jaehyun answered, "Just acquintances, bump into him in campus and the cafe every once in a while".

You sighed in relief as you pulled their shoulders, making them turn towards you again.

"Help me avoid him," you pleaded and they both gave you weird looks.

"How exactly..?" Jaehyun asked. "Hang out with me. That's all," you gave a simple solution and they both gave each other looks before they both sighed.

"Okay.. Ms Y/N.. friend," Sungho replied and you fisted your hands and punched the air in happiness.

"I promise I'm a fun person!"

You were in luck when you found people to stick with right after discovering that the person you literally ghosted was in your surroundings. You've managed to hide yourself from him, hiding behind Sungho's broad shoulders from time to time whenever he was nearby. The others have given weird looks, but as long as Jake doesn't find out, it doesn't matter.

You, however, weren't that lucky with your seat in the plane. Both Jaehyun and Sungho were seated together, away from you. When you watched them board, you saw their cheeky faces as they waved you goodbye and you could've thrown a tantrum.

Now that you were alone, you were more prone to bumping into the very person you wanted to avoid with all your might. As you were waiting to board the plane, you constantly kept checking your surroundings to know if you had to hide yourself or even run away.

As the queue shortened, your turn was nearing and you were starting to feel more reassred as there were no signs of Jake. When it was the person in front of you's turn to have their ticket checked, you made one final check around.

"Who we lookin' for?"

"Ah, no one," you continued to search, feeling more safe that you were boarding without seeing him.

"Does his name happen to start with a 'J' and end with an 'E'?"

Your eyebrows raised in amusement, "You're right, actually!", you slowly turned to the person, "How'd you—".

Oh.

"Know....?" you whispered, barely audible.

Your eyes were glued to the person, your mouth slowly agape as you process what was happening.

Jake was looking at you over your shoulder and you were just staring at him. He gave you that cheeky smile he'd always given you whenever he was plotting something at the cafe. You blinked multiple times when he suddenly stuck his tongue out and cut your queue, walking in front of you and having his ticket checked first.

When the worker approved of his ticket, he turned around.

He teased, "Could end with an 'N', too. 'Jaeyun', y'know?"

He flashed that devilish grin once again before turning around and walking in.

You stared at him as he walked in, the worker who was checking the tickets growing irritated at you as you held up the line. You heard grumbles from people at the back and you immediately snapped back to reality, dropping your passport and ticket in the process.

Your heart was beating really... really.. fast. Too fast for your liking.

You were staring into nothing, your body feeling exhausted even though you did nothing but sit down on a plane seat for 7 hours straight. Your jaw was slightly dropped, your eyebags painfully visible as you stared at the friends you made along the way.

"Hello!" you heard voices, but it wasn't enough to break you from your daydream.

"Earth to Y/N!"

Suddenly, in your vision, someone snapped their fingers, literally snapping you back to reality and you immediately scanned your surroundings, seeing familiar faces.

Familiar faces that you actually wanted to see.

"Well, finally Y/N!" Sungho folded his arms.

Jaehyun added on, "We thought you almost—".

You let out sounds of cries as you opened your arms and pulled both of them into a hug, feeling emotional that you finally saw people you felt comfortable with after possibly the worst 7 hours of your life.

"—died.." Jaehyun's voice lowered significantly, taken aback by your sudden embrace but he didn't complain.

You stuffed your face into Jaehyun's shoulder, feeling like shit and finally letting out all your emotions after bottling it up. You were crying, just without the tears.

Sungho eyed Jaehyun before pursing his lips and patting your back, "There there.. Poor Y/N..".

"Was the flight that bad..?" Jaehyun questioned genuinely.

Your head shot up, your eyebrows arching upwards, "Yes!".

Luckily on the way to the hotel, you could choose the bus and the seats. There were 3 buses, and you made sure to take the one different from Jake's. The entire way there, you ranted about Jake's sudden appearance and the entire flight.

The entire flight which Jake unfortunately was a major part of as well.

"During dinner time, instead of getting dinner that everyone gets, I got something different?!" you complained.

"What do you mean?" Sungho and Jaehyun tilted their heads.

"I'd get a platter that's different than everyone else's — I checked and it was on the special menu — and—"

"Isn't that a good thing?!" Jaehyun spat. "Yeah, you get good food!" Sungho added on.

"No— I mean, okay, sure! But there was this paper note on it and I opened it, and it fucking said 'Wanna text me back?'," you grumbled loudly, not caring about the weird looks you were getting from others.

Jaehyun and Sungho had big reactions, immediately gasping and laughing. You gave them dirty looks and rolled your eyes, your misery being their joy.

"And then I turned around on instinct! And first person I made eye contact with? Fucking him!" you continued.

They both hit each other in excitement, enjoying as the story continues to unfold.

Your neck was aching from how much it was tilting to one angle. Your body was uncomfortably straight, and your palms were incredibly sweaty. You were laughing at Jaehyun's joke more, since there was a problem.

With a Jaehyun on one side, you unfortunately had a Jaeyun on the other.

Call that fucking unlucky.

"Nooooo way you did thaaat!" you dragged on your words, laughing extra loud, hoping that others would perceive that you were comfortable. Happy. Satisfied with where you were and who you were surrounded with.

Complete opposite actually.

All the students part of the programme were gathered in the same hall, and multiple groups were formed to make bigger ones for orientation. In the merged groups, everyone was sat in a circle to play some ice breakers, and with the amount of people in this circle, you thought the whole world was against you when the only person you didn't want was placed beside you.

You were mentally calculating the probability, and it was like a... 1/50 chance. You were eyeing the game leaders that were in the centre of the circle, discussing amongst themselves as you prayed even harder that they'd start the games soon so you can find a chance to slip away and sit anywhere else.

You turned once and you were only met with his raised eyebrows and cocky smile, making you gasp softly as you snapped your head back to Jaehyun and Sungho, your mind going blank as you tried to find things to say.

You simply burst out laughing, slapping Jaehyun's back a little too hard causing him to yelp out loud, accidentally catching everyone's attention and your head immediately snaps to everyone else, your eyes widened as everyone gave especially you, weird looks. You raised your hands as if you were surrendering and you heard a snicker from the other side.

"Nice one, smartie," you heard him taunt you.

You gasp and you turn your head to his, your furious eyes meeting his. "I'm going to kill you," you threatened and he snorted, crushing your ego even more.

He patted you and you shivered. "Ghosting and killing, huh? What did I ever do wrong?" he questioned, but it sounded rhetorical.

You forcefully pulled his hands away from your head, "Don't fucking touch me".

"Getting all worked up, aye?"

You thanked all of the Gods above when you finally heard the game masters in the centre of the circle start talking. You looked at Jake one more time, seeing his irritating smirk as you forcefully nudged his body hard enough to make him fall backwards. He gasped loudly and you stuck your tongue out at him.

It was your turn to snicker, and when he recovered and got up, he was about to raise his hand and smack you, but before he could do anything, you saw a pair of feet from your peripheral vision, causing the two of you to freeze.

"Ehm."

You two turned your head upwards, your eyes met with the girl who seemed like she could actually kill the both of you. You bit your lip as you scratched your neck, your head looking down in shame and Jake did the same.

"What are you two doing? I said I wanted you two to introduce yourselves since you guys are so energetic," the girl said, her tone so daunting you almost regretted doing anything.

She continued, "Stand. Up".

You two cleared your throats and stood up on clue, not wanting to anger her any further.

"I'm Y/N!" "I'm Jake!"

Both of you glared at each other, offended that the other spoke over them.

"I—" "I—"

You two looked at each other again.

"You may go—" "How about you—"

You both looked at each other again. You sucked your cheek, feeling your blood boiling. You were about to start arguing with him when the same games master loudly interrupted the both of you.

"This is Y/N, this is Jake!".

Your eyes shot at her, suddenly feeling sheepish as you realised that you were dragging on the entire programme.

"All your fucking fault, Ms Anxiety," he whisper-shouted, his hands neatly placed on top of each other as he looked down.

"Fuck you, go to hell," you whisper-shouted, wishing he could just disappear.

As the game master introduced the both of you, she turned back to the two of you and held your shoulders.. tightly.

"Sit down. Behave," she commanded and you two immediately said 'Yes ma'am' and sat back down on the floor, your heads tilted downwards in shame. Your knees accidentally bumped and you sent a glare but you made sure to not make a ruckus out of it.

It was finally the party after the orientation, and you were finally starting to meet new people. Sungho and Jaehyun were still by your side, practically being your body guards as the three of you socialised with new people.

"Say, that was so hilarious! That was like a scene out of a movie!" Woonhak burst out laughing as he recalled when you and Jake got called out in the circle in front of everyone else.

You face palmed as you took a sip of your drink, cringing as you replayed the memory in your head, "Yeah, sure, funny. Worst thing that has happened in my life..".

"Ever?" Rei questioned.

"Ever," you, Sungho and Jaehyun answered in unision.

They all laughed, enjoying your hatred and misery when it comes to Jake. Riwoo questioned, wiping his tears "Do you even know him?".

"Not at all!" you shot back immediately, your eyebrows furrowing so much it would form permenant creases on your skin.

Sungho wrapped an arm around your shoulder, "She's been suffering even before the trip.."

He started to share your cinematic experiences with Jake while working in the cafe and you helped out with the details he missed out.

On the other hand.. Jake, who was standing at the opposite corner of you...

"Bro, do you know her?" Taesan questioned him, giggling from the same incident Woonhak questioned about.

"Yup. Very well actually," Jake smirked, taking a sip from his cup.

Day 1.

You don't know what the programme organisers were thinking, but they thought that camping was a good activity. You thought you'd be learning more about the country, going to the city side, trying new food, but here you were.

You stood in the middle of everyone, your friends pulling on your sleeve as you stared into blank space, devastated and not looking forward to anything.

Suddenly, someone pushed your shoulder and you stumbled forward. You shot, "Hey!" and you turned to the person, and you couldn't have expected anyone else.

Jake snickered as he saw your worked up expression, wanting to push your buttons further but before he could try anything, your friends successfully pulled you away.

"Stop slacking!" Sungho nagged as he held your forearm, dragging you like a mother would and you groaned, allowing him to do so.

"I'm so not excited for this," you complained, still staring into nothing as your legs continued to move by themselves.

There were many reasons why this is the last thing you wanted.

First of all...

"JAKE! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!" you screamed, causing everyone to turn back as Jake held a cicada and held it near you, giggling.

"Or what?" he tested the waters.

You hated bugs.

Second of all,

You were walking cautiously, sensitive to every sound. Everyone was split now to smaller groups and you all had agreed to gather different items. You were alone with Sungho, but he told you to stay put as he climbed the tree to get items.

You were tapping your feet, looking around cautiously in any case that something.. or someone attacks you.

Your face went cold when you heard a branch crack behind you and you immediately froze. You heard the cracks getting louder and closer, and you immediately covered your ears and squatted, screaming, "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!".

You closed your eyes, tears already forming in your eyes from the fear and you were thanking your family and friends for being with you up till your final day.

A tear broke free when someone tapped your shoulder and your shoulders stiffened even more.

"Y/N, chillax.. it's just me," you heard Sungho's voice and you immediately looked up, heaving a sigh of relief and having more tears break free.

You were absolutely a scaredy cat. No survival instinct.

Third of all...

The group was hiking up the hill, a river flowing down and a waterfall nearby. You were looking into the body of water, fascinated but unwilling to go too close to it anything happens. You looked at how the fish moved around, slowly hiking up with the others when you scanned around, spotting Jake a little in front of you.

Suddenly, a delivish and smart idea appeared in your head, and you snickered cheekishly as you slowly started to jog to catch up to him, walking behind him. As he continues to walk, he starts becoming closer to the body of water without realising and you held up your hands and pushed him into the body of water.

But one thing you didn't know he had was his fast reaction skills.

He yelped. Held your wrist out of instinct. Pulled you down into the water with him.

Your body was immediately filled with panic as you become fully submerged into the water, thinking you'd die and your legs kick frantically in an attempt to save yourself. Jake had let go of your wrist to help himself, and as you put in all your effort to swim upwards, you gasp when your head finally reaches the surface.

"Are you fucking serious?" he glared at you, watching as you struggled to swim up. He continued to throw bashful words, "Are you like.. fucking.. 5 years old?".

You wanted to fight back, but the only thing you could fight for right now was for your life. You frantically kicked yourself up, your breathing frantic as you were filled up with fear that you'd die here.

"Don't tell me.. you can't swim..?" he commented after watching you for a while.

"I..!" gasp "Can't..!" gasp "Swim..!"

You were hopeless when it came to nature. The compatibility between you and nature was similar to the compatibility with you and Jake.

He sighed before he swam over to you and held your waist, pulling you up from the water and you instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, nervous that if you'd let go you'd drown again.

You could hear everyone panic as they all call out for the both of you, frantic that the two of you were in water but from the way he was supporting you, you knew you'd be safe.

You stared into his eyes, seeing how the water runs down his face and how there was an irritated expression on his face. You felt his breath on your face, making you realise how close the two of you actually were.

"I like this expression," you mumbled, completely forgetting your panic 5 seconds ago.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he snarked.

"This irritated expression. I hope you can be angry forever," you requested and he scoffed.

He rolled his eyes, "I save your fucking life and this is what you say?".

He glared at you, and you could say you were the happiest person alive but the thing that caught you off-guard was how his eyes flickered to your lips.

At this realisation, you let go of his arms, yelping as you fell back into the water. Jake was flabbergasted, caught off-guard that you suddenly let go of him and everyone on the surface screamed for help.

"Soo.. what you're saying is.. it's my fault you were dragged into the water, so you're asking me to pay for your laundry when we get back?"

"Precisely that!" you pointed a finger to Jake's face and he looked at you with a dead expression. He looked like he wanted to fight back but he simply sighed and rolled his eyes, not wanting to drag this further.

He offered his hand, "Your number?".

"What the fuck?"

"I'm not asking you for your number to be ghosted again by you. I'm asking for your number so I can tell you when to pick it up," he clarified.

Your chest stung a little by his comment, an ounce of guilt filling you and you cleared your throat, "Fine".

"Huh? Where'd this pillow come from?" you questioned after returning to your tent after cautiously making rounds around the area with Sungho and Jaehyun. You looked at Rei, thinking that she was the one who gave you the pillow but she simply shrugged and responded with a simple "I don't know".

Rei added on, "I left for a second too, and it was here when I came back".

Your eyebrow raised in suspicion, but you had no complains. You simply shrugged your shoulders and tucked yourself into the sleeping bag, the pillow adding comfort.

You sighed as you tried to forget about where the pillow possibly came from. You turned to Rei, who was beside you.

"Is that pillow given to you too?" you questioned as you pouted at her, placing your hands to your face to add to the comfort.

"Nah, it's mine," she responded, her voice slightly raspy.

"What?! You knew to bring?"

"It was literally in the itinerary!"

"Jake, what's up with your neck?" you heard a guy question.

Your eyes shot to his direction, curious to see what the commotion was about, your eyebrow raising in curiosity.

Jake shrugged as he continued to rotate his neck in circles, stretching out the muscles. You shot a weird look despite him not looking in your direction and rolled your eyes.

"Just slept funny, I guess" you heard Jake respond.

'That's what you get. May your neck be cursed and remain stiff eternally!' you thought to yourself.

You giggled to yourself, enjoying that you were cursing him out and the others looked at you in concern. Riwoo nudged Woonhak, whispering into his ears, "Has she gone coo coo..?".

Woonhak shrugged and snickered, having the same exact thoughts as Riwoo.

Day 2 wasn't that much better than day 1, but you've grown used to the nature, becoming braver than you were yesterday. You'd stop flinching whenever a branch nearby cracks, you're at least more brave to walk around as long as there's at least one person beside you. You're more capable, though there were moments where you ran to Rei and held her tightly, embracing for impact.

Everyone was on the trail, the stream of water flowing down. The atmosphere was filled with the waters crashing and the sounds of conversation, and you were simply following and enjoying the view. Though you admitted that you hated being in the forest, it's not everyday you get to enjoy the nature.

Your eyes scanned around the area as you continued to walk, your neck turning when you suddenly make eye contact with someone's camera. The person instantly pans their phone away from you, your eyes blinking to make out who it was to realise it was the one you hated the most.

"DId you take a fucking photo of me?" you called out, still walking. You were irritated, but you weren't that worked up compared to yesterday.

"Yeah, you looked fucking ugly, Ms Anxiety," he scoffed.

You didn't fight back, deciding that you didn't have anymore time and energy to waste on him.

"Whatever floats your fucking boat," you responded and his eyebrows raised, amused that you weren't being a public nuisance and causing trouble as usual.

You've grown accustomed to the nature and walking around, but you didn't get accustomed to obstacle courses. To be specific — elevated obstacle courses, also known as high elements.

"I DON'T WANNA GO!" you screeched, holding onto the rope that kept you secure and safe, your grip insanely tight as you shut your eyes closed.

The instructor nervously laughed, patting your back as he tried to encourage you to go. You were already halfway and it would be such an inconvenience to you and everyone behind you if you turned back, so you could only move forward.

You looked downwards slowly, peeking over the edge and feeling your legs grow more wobbly. You had a fear of heights, and that added onto the reasons why the forest is the worst place you could be.

"Don't look down! Just— just go!" you heard Sungho cheer you on from behind. You took a brief second to turn backwards, feeling motivated and encouraged by Sungho's words, but as soon as you looked back down you panicked and stopped again.

"Fuck! Why did I come onto this trip!" you whisper shouted to yourself, your lips quivering from fear.

Your nails were digging into your palms and your hands were shaking. You were ready to just.. die, until..

"Y/N! Don't be scared! Just jump!" you heard a voice ahead and your head immediately shot up, shocked to see who was motivating you.

Jake was caught off-guard by the expression on your face and he bit his lip, scratching his neck for a split second. "Just.. just jump you dumbass!" he yelled, stepping back into the course and holding his hand out.

You slowly stood up, your legs wobbly as you frowned at him, surprised to see this new side of him but at the same time, you could only care about getting over this high elements obstacle course.

"You..!" you muttered.

"Don't put the 'anxiety' in Ms Anxiety!" he mocked you in an attempt to motivate you.

A part of you felt like punching him, so you immediately scoffed, screaming as you jumped towards him. He was bewildered at how you did it with no hesitation after his comment, but he took your hand. Your foot landed on the checkpoint, but you accidentally slipped backwards.

You yelped loudly but he immediately gripped your forearm, pulling you towards him and preventing you from falling. Your foreheads knocked from how close he pulled you, making you groan in pain as you rub your forehead.

Your eyes slowly trail up his face, eventually locking eyes with him, feeling his breath on your face, and as you realised how he was staring back into your eyes, your chest tightened and your stomach tensed up. The strands of hair on your arm stood up, and you immediately became fully conscious, standing up properly while screaming and pushing him away in the process, making him dangle in the air.

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" he yelled as he dangled in the air, desperately trying to get hold of the checkpoint edge as you stared at him, your eyes about to pop out as you frantically tried to reach your hand out.

You'd never thought you'd see your hotel bed again after 2 days in nature since it felt like 400 years. You enjoyed the coolness of the AC and jumped onto the bed, enjoying the texture of the sheets after it being untouched for the past 2 days. You cuddled up to your pillow, bringing the sheets towards your face as you stretched your back and legs, your eyes shut from how comfortable you felt.

After getting comfortable and sufficiently stretching, you flipped onto your back, staring into the ceiling and thanking all the Gods above that you managed to reach back the hotel safely and that you get to enjoy the comforts of a hotel room.

You were about to doze off until you heard your phone vibrate. Excited that Sungho, Jaehyun or the rest texted you, your eyes immediately opened and your hand flew to the nightstand, where your phone was placed, and you turned it on to check your notifications.

unknown : Hi unknown : Don't ghost me unknown : I have your clothes

What. The. Fuck. Who was this stalker?!

y/n : who the fuck are you. y/n : are you fucking STALKING ME

unknown : You fucking dumbass unknown : Don't flatter yourself unknown : The poor guy who got ghosted for absolutely no reason unknown : Remember him?

Oh my god.

jake : The poor guy who so happened to be me?

y/n : i figured

jake : Still no remorse?

y/n : can you shut the fuck up

You made a disgusted face at your screen, irritated by his attitude.

jake : Oh? jake : Okay. jake : Rooftop in 5 or else i'm throwing your clothes down the building.

You gasped loudly, sitting up on your bed.

y/n : you would not FUCKING DARE.

And before you knew it, you were out the door.

You sipped the drink that Jake had made, tapping your tongue at the roof of your mouth to taste the drink, before you made a satisfied expression, raising your eyebrows.

After a long day at the cooking workshop for day 3, you decided that you wanted to make coffee for yourself at the shared hotel kitchen room, missing your barista job when you realise that Jake was already there.

You two were bickering, when you two eventually came to an agreement that Jake would make you something.

Without poisoning you, of course.

You licked your lips as you frowned, looking at him afterwards. "Hate to give it to you.. but—"

"It's good, right?" he interrupted, his arms folded and his head high, feeling proud of the drink he made.

You rolled your eyes at how he praised himself. "You're thinking too highly of yourself," you commented, "But it's not bad".

He grinned in satisfaction, the compliment filling a part of the void in his heart. You continued, "You're actually kinda good at this".

"Well, duh? I'm close to your boss?"

You pursed your lips, "Whatever".

jake (DNI) : Want my drink again?

You were surprised to see the notification pop up at the top of your phone. You didn't think it through when you drank his coffee when you were literally about to sleep, now you were struggling.

y/n : you wish. y/n : i literally cant sleep

And the next surprising thing? It was the fact the two of you texted until you both fell asleep, just like how you two texted when you were on that dating app. However, this time was different, because you didn't feel like pulling away.

"You're more tolerable these days," you mumbled, barely audible that Jake almost missed it. Jake's eyebrows raised and he froze for a second, taking a moment to process what you'd just said. He cleared his throat and scratched his neck, recovering from your sudden comment.

Everyone around the table made low sounds of approval as they understood what happened, giving each other the eye and smirking. For the entire of day 4, it was a free day to let everyone explore, and your group decided that shopping to get souvenirs was a good idea.

You didn't even know how, but Jake suddenly appeared with your group but you didn't fight against it, slowly growing used to his presence.

After gathering back at the hotel, everyone, including the leaders, were having dinner together. You also didn't even know how but Jake ended up sitting beside you, and after being teased by the rest, Jake popped the question "What do you think about me?" to tease you further, which led to that answer.

You didn't know why you were so blunt. You didn't know why you weren't having the usual banter with him — you didn't feel like it. You ignored all the mummers and sounds from others, picking up your fork and slightly playing with your food.

"So I've looked through your activity recommendations for tomorrow when you guys submitted your forms, and we decided between two activities!" one of the leaders announced and you folded your arms, sleepily resting your head on Rei's shoulder as everyone paid close attention.

"Probably gonna be boring, huh?" you commented.

"Yup, maybe," Rei responded.

The leader continued, "FIrst activity would be ocean gazing at the nearby beach!".

There were sounds of approval across the crowd, people looking at each other and nodding excitedly.

"And the next would be star gazing at the nearby school's rooftop!"

Your eyes immediately scanned the room for Jake. You observed how his face lit up — his eyes about to pop out, his eyes widened, his mouth agape and you noticed how he smacks his friend in excitement. You giggled to yourself, finding him cute how he was so excited for the activity.

"Who're you looking at?" "No one!" your head immediately shot forward, your smile dropping and your posture straightening.

Rei gave you a doubtful look but brushed it away.

"You guys would have to vote between the two!" the leader continued, and you noticed from your peripheral view how Jake's shoulders slowly dropped.

Your chest slightly tightened at his mood change, you immediately turned to Rei. You voiced out, "Say, isn't star gazing so cool?".

"Huh? But ocean gazing sounds more—" "Nahh, you have the opportunity to do that back home! Unlike for star gazing!" you tried to convince her. "Hmm, you have a point.."

It was your victory when it was declared that star gazing was the chosen activity. You'd been going around, convincing people that star gazing was the better option and to your luck, they were all open-minded to your idea.

As the activity was declared, you watched how Jake punched the air in excitement, your chest tightening and your stomach feeling queesy at the sight.

"Hnnm? Who's got you smiling to yourself?" Jaehyun bumps his shoulder and your face immediately stones up. You didn't respond in hopes he'd magically forget that you were giggling to yourself.

He leaned in, inspecting your face, smiling while pointing at you, "Ohh? You're even red!".

You slapped your hand onto Jaehyun's mouth, "You better stop!".

You would be jumping for joy, but instead you were down, staring into nothing with your heart feeling empty. For some reason, Jake felt distant. It would already be a surprise if you two conversed without getting onto each other's necks, but the fact that he hasn't teased or argued with you once this day?

You occasionally took glances at Jake, often making eye contact but instead of him making a snarky expression, he immediately broke eye contact and turned away, his expression unreadable.

You sucked your inner cheek, feeling unsure to why your chest was tightening at such sight. You should've been happy right? He's finally leaving you alone just like you've always wanted.

But at the same time, you wish he'd just tease you at least once. It was driving you crazy at the possibility that he was ignoring you. He was just okay yesterday, so why the sudden shift overnight?

"Is that a telescope?! Looks so cool!" Woonhak exclaimed as he started jogging towards the telescope that was placed beside the fence on the rooftop.

The rooftop was dark, the area being lit up by the lights around. You could hear loud conversation sparsed out in the area, each of them being thrilled and in awe by the night sky. The sky had countless of bright gems, the view looking spectacular.

You folded your arms as your friends wrapped their arms around your shoulder, running and dragging you towards the telescope. Today felt off, you didn't really feel like doing anything but you couldn't just sit out.

Sungho patted your back, "C'mon, I don't know what's wrong but you can't possibly still be sad after seeing this view?".

You shrugged, tilting your head upwards as you saw the view, in awe as you grinned to yourself. You turned down and looked up ahead, and there was the telescope. You saw a group of people approaching it, peeking into the scope and hearing sounds of curiousity and enthusiasm.

Your eyes looked around, and you saw someone behind the group of people. You watched how Jake tapped his feet impatiently, smiling to himself and filddling with his fingers as he peeked over the people's shoulders, wondering when they'd be done so it'd be his turn.

Your friends talked to each other, your mind somewhere else as you stared at the boy. Once it was his turn, his whole body shook and he started to walk towards the telescope. You beamed at nothing, enjoying the sight of lively Jake, but right before he peeked into the scope, he turned around.

He turned around and his eyes scanned the crowd, until it met yours. However, this time he didn't break it, and neither did you. You two stared each other for a brief moment, and you gave him a genuine smile for the first time ever. He weakly gave you a grin, and you nodded and gestured for him to look into it quickly.

You knew it had always been his passion, and though you hated his guts, you had to admit that a part of you was happy for him.

"You came back?" you questioned, and Jake immediately turned his head from the telescope. He was stunned to see you, eyeing you up and down.

"Ms Anxiety's here too?" he remarked as he pouted, his expression unreadable again.

Everyone had returned to the hotel 2 hours ago, and by right you were supposed to be sleeping by now, but you couldn't brush away the thought that Jake was purposely avoiding you earlier in the day.

"Nickname's getting old," you pursed your lips, dragging your feet and sitting on the floor beside him.

"This is getting old," he shot and you looked at him, puzzled.

"What are you talking about?"

"Us," he declared, and he finally leaned back from the telescope, looking down at you and for once, you could finally read his expression. His eyes were filled with hurt, and his frown was genuine. He wasn't looking for a fight — he felt wronged and hurt, and he was finally showing it. You two stared into each other for a period of time, the sound of your heart beat loud in your ears.

He broke the silence, "Why did you do that?".

"Do what?"

"Convince everyone to go star gazing?"

"You.. knew?"

"Of course I did. I'd be a blind fuck if I didn't," he snarked.

You stared into his eyes and frowned, struggling to form words. You knew the reason, but you didn't want to admit it. There was another period of silence, as you were lost in your own thought.

"I thought about it over and over this entire day," he stepped back from the telescope and took a step towards you, "and I've concluded that it was for me, wasn't it?".

He squatted down in front of you, his eyes full of vulnerability. If you were in your normal state, you'd throw out curse words, slap him and run away as usual, but this time you felt the unusual urge to be honest, open up, tell him the truth.

"It was," your voice was quiet, your eyes never leaving his.

He sighed as he looked away, scratching his neck. " I just want to ask," he turned back at you, "Why did you do it?".

He didn't need to specify what he was talking about. You knew exactly what he was referring to, and it wasn't the reason why you were running around and convincing everyone to go star gazing, but you played dumb.

"Because star gazing is—"

"No," he cut you off, his voice stern, "I don't care about that. I'm talking about why you ghosted me".

He turned his head back to you, his eyes on you. The question was heavy, and even if he was the one who was wronged, you could tell that he was still patient. His gaze wasn't scary, it was welcoming. His eyes were softened as he waited for you to think about a response.

You looked at him, guilt taking over as you built up courage and forced yourself to maintain eye contact. You pursed your lips and scratched your neck, having the reason in your head but being unable to form proper words.

"It.." you started, "Was scary".

He tilted his neck as you said one sentence that was completely vague.

"I really liked you, you were fun," you confessed, "I've never texted someone so much in my life before," your eyes drifted away, feeling slightly embarrased, "But it was getting too real".

Your eyes wandered back to his, and you could see a soft frown on his head, the creases on his forehead slightly visible.

"It was scary, I was scared," you continued, "I started to make myself hate you, put a distance, push you away".

"But fate's crazy, brought us together, and here we are, hating each other," you commented.

"Are you sure?" he questioned, doubt in his voice.

"Well, of course fate brought us together, if not—"

"I'm asking about the 'hate' part. Are you sure you hate me?"

You stared at him, being completely speechless. You wanted to be open about your feelings, confess how you felt, and as soon as you were about to open your mouth, you started to get second thoughts

What if he hurts you? What if he makes fun of you? What if—

"Yes," your response came out quiet, barely audible and you looked down, not having the conscious to look at him in the eye.

There was a moment of silence before he said "Okay" loudly and turned away, walking back towards the telescope. You looked up at him, puzzled as to why he wasn't reacting.

"W-what?"

"You said you hate me, so why are you still here?"

You had to think about it for a second, "I don't—".

"You don't know. You hate me, so just go," he demanded.

You were confused as to why he was shutting you out now. You've always hated each other, so what's different now?

"Jake, why are you acting like this?" you questioned without thinking.

He scoffed before turning back, a smirk on his face, "Why am I acting like this?". He took a few steps, standing directly in front of you, your faces a few centimetres away from each other.

"Why do you think, Y/N?" he smiled, but it wasn't a welcoming one. It was a frightening one.

You simply stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"Call me crazy but, even over only text, I've smiled and laughed way more with you compared to the people I've been on actual dates with," he confessed, "And I was patient and understanding with you, and yet you left because it was... 'getting too real'?".

He scoffed, ruffling his hair in frustration and laughing to himself as if this was all a joke. You wanted to express your true thoughts, but he continued to talk before you could.

"And you say all of that, yet you still do things for me that make me question... everything?"

You frowned at his sentence, not knowing what he was referring to, "Question.. everything?"

"Question if what we had was real."

He sucked his inner cheek, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at you, fury in his eyes.

"Laugh at me all you want, call me someone who's emotional over someone 'online', I don't care anymore," he declared, "Don't talk to me anymore. Don't do anything for me, Y/N, I don't want to associate with you anymore".

He sharply turned his back to you, and your heart ached at the sight. You bit your lip, not having enough courage to face him, especially now when he was so pent up with fury. He walked back towards the telescope, leaning and looking through the scope.

You wanted to walk to him, tap his shoulder and just talk everything out, but what was the point? You two weren't even friends. You.. hate him, so what's the point? What's there to talk about?

You bit your lip hard, clenching your fists, turning your back and walked away, fighting every urge to just turn back and confess everything to him. You couldn't even mutter an apology — you didn't have the guts to.

It was the last day, and you were supposed to be having fun — clinking glasses with other people, swim with other people in the pool, dance to the music, but here you were, sitting on a bench far away from everyone, staring into blank space as memories of the previous day kept coming to your head.

Your chest felt heavy and you didn't have the energy to do anything. You stood up from the bench, wanting to go back to your hotel room to pack up your things for the flight tomorrow, but before you could leave, someone gripped your wrist.

"Y/N! Where are you going? Let's go for a swim!"

You turned around and it was Rei, and you were about to nicely decline, but before you could do that, she started to pull you towards the pool.

"Eh? R-Rei, wait-! My necklace!" you panicked, using your free hand and trying to get your necklace off but before you knew it, she dragged you into the water with her, making you completely submerge into the water.

You panicked because you didn't know how to swim at all, but when you kicked, your feet immediately came into contact with the pool floor, so you stood up, everything from your shoulder being in the surface.

You pouted at Rei, "I'm going to kill you".

She giggled cheekily and started to run in water, "Not if you can't catch me!".

Packing your luggage, you were mentally ticking things off from the list you made at the back of your head, touching and rummaging through your luggage to confirm the item's presence.

After a few hours, you pretty much packed everything, but there was this one item in your list you couldn't quite remember what it was. You tried walking around your hotel to get visual cues on what the last item could possibly be, walking into rooms and turning on the light then standing still for a moment to try to recall the item.

You walked around like an idiot, a puzzled expression on your face throughout and you sat down on your bed, feeling defeated when you layed down, staring at your ceiling. You scratched your neck in confusion, but you realised that the sensation felt different.

And that's when you realised — your necklace is gone. You sat up from your bed, patting your neck violently in hopes a cold metal would come into contact with your hand, but to no avail. You started to inspect your body thoroughly, hoping to feel a hard bump anywhere especially in your pockets, but absolutely nothing.

You immediately stood up, letting out sounds of panick as you frantically looked around, searching high and low as you opened and closed cupboards frantically, hoping it would appear in your sight. You even checked under the bed, the bathroom, trash can, and you paced around the room.

That's when you remembered — the swimming pool.

Your eyes widened and your shoulders dropped when you remembered trying to frantically remove your necklace before Rei dragged you in the water.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

That was the fastest you ran out of your hotel room, not having any thoughts to bring your phone or other personal belongings. You headed straight for the pool, praying to all the Gods above that you'd be able to find your necklace.

Searching frantically, you ran around the swimming pool area and tried to recall when you were still here, trying to retrace your steps. You've checked the perimeters of the pool, every single corner of all of the benches, each crevice you stumble upon, and yet there was nothing.

"Finding something?" a voice scared you and you jumped. You immediately turned around, a frown plastered across your face from the stress and then you realised who it was.

"Jake? What're you doing here?" you questioned, blinking awkwardly as you recalled your argument the previous day. You suddenly became fully conscious of the way you stood and looked, stiffening up as you pursed your lips.

"Couldn't sleep, need help?" he replied, dark eyebags obvious under his eyes.

You stared at him, slightly bewildered to the difference in his personality compared to the previous day. You recalled his words, feeling the same hurt again, and at the same time, thinking how you could avoid hurting him again.

"It's okay if you don't—" he was about to turn his back. "No!" you yelled, ducking down slightly and checking the area, hoping there weren't any teachers checking the area.

When you realised you were in the clear, you stood normally, "I need.. your help".

The facial expression on his face softened and he sighed, "What are you looking for?".

"My mom's necklace," you answered promptly, making him raise your eyebrows.

"The same one you mentioned that one time?"

"The exact same".

He gave you a reassuring look, silently letting you know that you weren't alone in finding it. You didn't know how to react to him suddenly acting different, but that was something out of your concerns. You needed the necklace before you leave.

The two of you checked the area again, on the tables, cabiets, near the benches, the perimeters of the pool, but absolutely nothing. You were stressed out, pulling your hair in frustration when he suddenly spoke up.

"Have you checked the water?"

You looked up at him and frowned, "No? Why would it—" and then you recalled that Rei dragged you into the pool, "Oh".

You puffed up your cheeks, "You're right".

He sat down on a nearby chair, "I'll wait for you to change and come back".

You raised an eyebrow at him, taking a step into the water, "What are you talking about? I'm going in now".

He looked slightly amused to see you step in with your pyjamas, following you inside afterwards. You were wearing your precious pyjamas, while he was wearing a normal top with basketball shorts.

You felt awkward because you weren't in the proper clothes to be in the pool, but you could care less. You had one goal and that was all that mattered. The two of you split up, taking different sides of the pool, but when you heard the sudden sloshing sound of water, you immediately turned to be met with the sight of Jake raising his hand in the air, with something metallic and shiny dangling from his hand.

"Bingo," he declared and you immediately ran (in water..) to him. Your eyes widened and weight was taken off of your shoulders, the constant ache in your chest from worry slowly disappearing.

"You found it?!" you asked a rhetorical question, your eyes never leaving your precious necklace. It was a necklace you've worn every single day and cherished because it was something your mother gave to you before she passed on.

"I did," he smiled at you.

You ran up to him, placing your hands on his chest, trying to take the necklace from his hand but he straightened his arm, making the necklace out of reach. You pouted at him as you tried to jump for it, which was practically impossible because your clothes were drenched and so heavy it was pulling you down, and his arms were too long.

You whined and he teased you back and forth, both of you laughing loudly. You both played in water, splashing each other and making waves as you tried to fight for your necklace.

It was almost like yesterday didn't happen. It was almost like he never asked you to stay away from him.

"God, Jake, give it back! I still need to finish up my packing!" you whined, a smile never leaving your face.

He gave a smug expression, "Okay, fine".

You waddled towards him to stand in front of him, and you watched him offer your necklace. You felt content, feeling satisfied after finding the thing you were so desperate to fnd, reaching your hand to grab onto it until he suddenly raised his hand up again.

You stumbled and fell forward, his hands immediately catching you and your hands landing on his chest as you tried to stabilise yourself. You blinked a couple of times, processing what had just happened before you slowly looked up to be met by his gaze.

Your faces were too close for comfort, and you only blinked at him. Your face grew more red by the second as you understood what was happening, and you wanted to step backwards, but you were frozen.

His jaw clenched as he stared at you, feeling flabbergasted as well. He slowly lowered his arm, your necklace just dangling next to his face. You bit your lip and gently took the necklace from his hand, and he didn't resist at all.

"Uhm," you looked away and scratched your neck, "Thanks".

Your eyes wandered back to his again, only to see the same expression on his face and you immediately felt nervous, so you wanted to make your leave.

"Well, uhm, thanks, I'll be—" you turned your back but he quickly grabbed your hand, preventing you from turning further.

"Don't.." his voice came out as a soft whisper, "Don't go".

You slowly turned back, seeing his pleading expression and all the thoughts about leaving the pool left your head.

"I'm sorry," he said in the midst of nowhere, catching you when you were unguarded, "I said things yesterday, and I said it because I was.. out of it.

Your gaze remained on him, watching how his eyes flicker from left to right as he felt regretful. You sucked your inner cheek, feeling guilty, "No, you were right".

There was silence, the only sounds audible is the sound of water slowly flowing and crickets. You noticed how his eyes flickered to your lips, his grip on your waist tightening. The space between the two of you was basically non-existent, the tension in the air growing stronger to the point you couldn't just walk away without doing anything.

He licked his lips, and you watched the way his tongue runs across his lip. His mouth parts and your eyes meet his again, sensing the desperation and need in his eyes. Your arms snake around his neck, and both of your faces leaned in closer, your foreheads resting on each other.

You slowly closed your eyes, leaning in until you heard a loud shout.

"WHO'S THERE?!"

The two of you immediately came back to reality, your heads turning rapidly as you tried to scan the area and detect where that sound was from.

"Shit, shit shit! Go go go!" he panicked, holding your hand and dragging you out of the pool. You followed along, running as fast as you can even with the pyjamas slowing you down, running into the hotel and drenching the carpet with all the water dripping.

You two laughed as you run across the halls, the trail of water being left as your mark, hearing the teacher run after you. The two of you ran up the stairs, deciding that the lift would screw the both of you over, and when you reached your level, you tugged on Jake's hand.

"This is my floor!" you announced and he grinned at you, panting.

"Okay, go now, g'nite!" he let go of your hand and continued to climb the stairs, the sounds of the teacher rushing up the stairs echoing through the entire staircase, and you immediately opened the door on your floor that led to the hallways, making it to your room and opening the door swiftly.

You shut the door locked, your back pressed up against your door as you stayed silent, trying to listen for any signs of the teacher outside, After a period of time, you concluded that you were in the clear.

It was literally 1AM, and you were in your pyjamas, drenched and literally dripping. You sighed as you immediately made your way to your bathroom to take a shower after ensuring your necklace was kept in a safe spot.

Did last night really just happen? Was it a dream? Was the way he looked at you real? Was the way he leaned in genuine? Were you two about to kiss? What would've happened if you two kissed? Would it all be real—

"Y/N!" a voice snapped you out of your day dream. Jaehyun frowned, folding his arms as he positioned himself directly in front of you, "I've said your name 5 times, and you still can't hear me! Are you okay?!".

You huffed out air, scratching your neck, suddenly fully conscious of your surroundings. "Sorry 'bout that.." you puffed up your cheeks and eyes wandered around, hoping to catch one person.

"I swear, Y/N has completely flipped, the person she was before this trip...." Sungho started, but his voice slowly started to fade out in your ears when your eyes finally land on him.

Jake was smiling as per usual, as if nothing had happened last night, and your chest ached slightly at the sight, making you question if it was only you feeling confused about the whole situation. You wanted to approach him, confront him, but a part of you wished he did it first.

You cleared your throat, shaking the thoughts away as you tried to forget about it. Maybe you'll get a chance to talk to him before you board, or when you're on the plane. Definitely.

"Who're you looking for?" Woonhak questioned, and you immediately shook your hands as if you'd just gotten caught.

"No one!" you defended yourself, your voice high pitched and Woonhak nodded, looking away. He knew you were lying but he didn't want to push it.

Everyone was collecting their luggages, but for some reason, even before, during, and after the 7 hour flight, you have not seen him at all. You haven't gotten the chance to talk to him at all, and it was driving you mad.

You couldn't bring yourself to ask anyone else, because you knew it would just be endless teasing until you die, so you kept it to yourself, hoping a miracle would happen and that he'd be right in front of you.

But nothing.

Next place you'd look to find him? Work. But even so..

"Ah, hey Y/N! You're back! Just wanted to know we opened a new outlet in the other area and we already planned to shift you there!"

Next place..? The dating app.

But you tried searching his user, finding your old chats, but it was all missing. Absolutely no traces of him.

Maybe it was fate for you to forget him. I mean, what can be so hard about it, right? You've already hated his guts, wishing the worst for him, but at the same time, you remembered the image of him leaning in, making you shudder and kick your legs in confusion.

You screamed into your pillow, hoping that you could just forget him and the things you've done for the past few months. Maybe you shouldn't have met him, or downloaded that stupid app. If not everything would've been okay.

"Ah, Y/N? That's such a lovely name!" the male sitting the opposite of you complimented, and you gave a small smile.

You decided that dating apps do work, and that Jake wasn't really that special, right? If Jake had been implanted in your mind, it can be the same for other people you meet! Or so you thought.

You were fiddling with your fingers, looking through your bag for a non-existent item, going through your phone when you were literally on a date, and worst of all — you wished it was Jake sitting in front of you.

You hated him? Maybe, but did you wish for his presence? Definitely.

The male in front of you started talking about himself, showing off his status and wealthiness, and you nodded repeatedly to show you were physically listening, but your mind was somewhere else.

That was when you suddenly felt a grip on your wrist and a strong tug, making you gasp loudly and shoot your eyes towards the person who was pulling onto you.

"Jake?! What are you—"

"Sorry bro, she's booked by me," Jake faced your date and patted the guy's back, who's jaw was dropped. Poor boy.

Jake dragged you out after you finished packing up your things in a swift, and as soon as you were outside, you snatched your wrist back, frowning at him and giving him a snarky look.

"What do you think you're doing?!" you snapped, feeling completely taken-aback by his rude appearance. You just wanted to run back in and apologise to your date for Jake's rudeness.

"Saving you, what do you think?" he replied sarcastically, raising his eyebrows at you. He continued, "And also, you're willing to go on a date with that.. dude? And you can't even meet up with me?".

"What do you mean saving?! And you make my date sound like he's a bad guy or something! I'm going to apologis—" you scolded, turning your back to walk back in until he held your wrist again.

"Nah—uh, you're staying here with me. I paid for the bill already, ordered a few extra drinks for the man, so you have nothing to apologise for," he voiced out.

You turned back to face him again, "Okay?! But that doesn't change the fact that I'm just rudely leaving him?!".

"Why does that matter? You're never gonna see him again," he asserted, and you glared at him.

"How do you know that, huh?"

"Because I'm here."

You scoffed as you snatched your wrist again, folding your arms, "You've been gone from my life for a while, and you're suddenly here and you still have the audacity to think that I still like you?!".

"So you admit you liked me?" he smiled.

"Not the fucking point."

He sighed and folded his arms, pacing in a small circle before his eyes settled back on you. He spoke, "If you don't want me to take you on a date right now, walk back in," he raised up his hand, "I'll give you 5 seconds".

"5" "4" "3" "2"

He looked at you, the amusement in his face never leaving.

"1"

And he finally closed all his fingers, the smile on his face widening. He extended his hand, gesturing for you to take it, "Let's go on a real date now, shall we?".

You silently took his hand, the frown still on your face, "I thought you ghosted me".

"Well, taste of your own fucking medicine, no?".

You and him did so many things together, and you could finally say that you were having a good time, unlike when you were having that dinner date with the other boy. You were laughing like there was no tomorrow, running around as he chased you down and tickled you when he caught you.

He kept telling you things like "This is what I wanted to do when I asked you to go out" which made your heart flutter, but he always had to add salt to the wound by saying something cold like "But someone felt the need to avoid me".

You and him ran up the staircase of the building, barging the door open where you were met with the night view. The rooftop was chilly, the cold wind blowing and Jake closed the door behind the two of you. You were in awe when you saw the stars in the sky, the sky looking so bright, more than you could've imagined.

"Say," he broke the silence, "Since I trust you won't run away now, could I ask of you to do the thing I've been wanting to do the most ever since?".

You glanced at him, puzzled to what he was referring to, but you saw him offer his hand. Still confused to what he was referring to, you took his hand in hopes he'd give you context.

"Let's dance," he asked and you were flabbergasted.

"So suddenly?" you choked, "But we have no music!".

"So what?" he twirled you around, his hands finding comfort in your waist afterwards.

You frowned at him, raising an eyebrow at him, "If someone thinks we're crazy, I'm going to blame you".

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Okay, sure whatever".

It started to quietten down as the two of you start to focus on each other, eye contact never breaking as he started to initiate the dance. The dance was.. slow. He took small steps, making it easier for you to follow along and when you accidentally tripped on his shoe, he quickly caught you, his hands around your waist. You were feeling doubtful of yourself, but he gave you a reassuring smile which gave you the courage to continue.

He slowly started to speed up as you started to get the hang of it, your body starting to feel less awkward and moving with the flow. You started to feel comfortable, the thought of someone suddenly coming to the rooftop and judging the two of you disappearing.

He twirled you around, the grin on his face never-leaving as he watched you. You were so sure he could hear your heart beat from how fast it was beating, and you teasingly stuck your tongue out at him, earning a loud chuckle which broke the silence.

The two of your bodies moved along with each other, your rhythms matching each others' even if there was no music to cue the both of you. He moved passionately with you, and you felt like you could do this all night.

Your eyes left his for a second to glance at the sky once again, and although you could see this every night, for some reason it seemed like the stars were shining brighter.

The stars seemed brighter, the sky looked prettier, and the moon's glow looked more ethereal.

"Hey," he broke the silence.

Your eyes fell back on his, curiosity filling you, "What?".

"You're more fun when you don't run away," he confessed.

He wasn't being mean or mocking you. He was being honest. Genuine.

You stared at him in awe, being lost in his gaze.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked you, making your smile drop.

"What?" you muttered out, being caught off-guard that he asked such question. You were surprised that he'd ask you that out of the blue, but instead of feeling the need to push him and run away, you stayed on the spot and stared at him.

"I know you heard me," he stopped his tracks as well, the two of you now just standing and staring at each other.

You blinked at him, not believing what is about to happen. You suddenly remembered the time at the swimming pool, and your face turned red.

"Oh-ho, the moonlight isn't helping you!" he pointed at you, "I can see you blush!".

Your jaw dropped and your arms releases from his neck, cupping your cheeks and feeling your cheeks physically become hot. You avoided his gaze and turned your head from side to side, feeling nervous.

"I—" you muttered, only forming incoherent words.

His teasing made you feel embarrased, and you wanted to run to a corner to prepare yourself, but before you could turn away, he held your hands, "Nah-uh, I literally just complimented you for not running away".

You licked your lips, avoiding his gaze as you allowed him to inspect your face further, feeling more conscious of yourself.

"Look at me, please," he pleaded, and after a few seconds of building courage, you finally looked at him and saw vulnerability and love in his eyes.

"I'll ask again, okay?" he stated, "Actually no, I won't even ask—". He declared, "I want to kiss you".

Your eyes widened and your face grew even more red, the tips of your ears starting to become red as well.

"If you want to kiss me too, please say it too," he softly whispered, his eyebrows furrowing upwards as he grew more nervous to see how you'd respond.

"I.." your voice was quiet, "want to kiss you too..".

His eyes widened, and before you knew it, his lips clashed onto yours.

The kiss was slow and patient, as if he was being patient with you. It was similar to how he's been patient with you this entire time when you've been ghosting and pushing him away. You were awkward at first, feeling afraid and wanting to just disappear, but when he pulled you closer to him, it was almost like he was reassuring that he won't run away and hurt you.

You finally gave in, letting yourself loose after keeping your guard up for so long. The kiss felt heavenly, and it felt like a huge weigh on your back was finally removed. Your face grew even more red and your heart was beating more rapidly, your hands turning into fists as you fought the urge to push him away.

His lips felt like heaven. It was so comforting, and the way his lips moved with yours was perfect. He tilted your neck and snuck his tongue in after you finally started to kiss him back, earning a soft gasp from you. He explored the depths of your mouth, making you let out a moan.

Upon hearing your moan, he froze and instantly pulled back, "Did you just.. moan?".

"Shut the fuck up!"

He laughed out loud and you felt so irritated at his teasing, making you raise your fist. Seeing your raised fist was his cue to start running, and you chased him around, throwing curse words and threatening him that if you ever caught him, he'd be dead.

Originally, this was how you pushed him away, but in the end after you've confronted your feelings, this is how you pull him closer —no more running away, embracing and confronting the connection you both shared.

extra note : dare i say this is inspired by a real life experience except it wasnt fun and thrilling like this and i ghosted him after like 1.5 days lol

taglist @cutehoons02 @vixialuvs @jvngw0nlvr @ikeulove @addictedtohobi @miszes

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insomniadreamzz · 4 months ago

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Hey, how are you? I wanted to request G!P Jinx x Reader. Imagine that the reader is Jinx's girlfriend and they have unprotected sex and then Jinx gets the reader pregnant? Something like the reader being afraid to tell Jinx and she freaks out about it and stuff like that… Could there also be smut at the end and fluff too? Please, I've never seen that around here 😮‍💨

Helloo! Thank you I am perfectly fine. Today is my birthday and I am actually busy but I LOVE this request so I had to write it down today 👀

———

My everything

G!P Jinx x Fem!Reader

Smut, mentions of pregnancy, fluff

The last days you felt kinda off, your emotions were like a rollercoaster and you got more sensitive. Jinx realised this too, making her feel a little worried about you. Since she had mental issues herself, she always questioned if she did something wrong, making the situation between you both get a little more complicated.

„Is everything okay my love? It’s your third plate of food today. I don’t mind it at all but…I am worried if something is bothering you. You know you can tell me anything right? You do trust me do you?“ Jinx asked as you were about to finish your food, your gaze moving up to look at her, a little smile on your face. „Of course I do trust you. You are my girlfriend after all. I just feel more hungry than usual these days, nothing to worry about.“ You tried to reassure her but she felt something was still off.

The next days your behavior went on, you also felt nauseous out of nowhere which made you realise that you might be pregnant. Last time you and Jinx got intimate you didn’t use protection which was a little silly of both of you but to be honest you didn’t really realise she would get you pregnant that fast. Whatever…if it was true and you carried her child, how to tell her? You suddenly worried about her reaction, close to panic but before your mind will make you freak out you decided to make a test first and then you will have to figure something out.

Thankfully Jinx wasn’t in her hideout today, she went out to probably blow something up again. You always had to worry about her when she wasn’t around but right now you were glad she wasn’t home so you could do the test without her knowing and just how you thought, it was positive. „Fuck…“ You cursed under your breath, feeling a little overwhelmed. Of course you were happy since having a family with your girlfriend was your biggest dream. But so sudden? It just made you think about a lot of stuff like are you even ready for it? Is Jinx ready for it? Will she be happy? Or will she be upset? You didn’t know since you never talked about that topic before.

One thing was clear. You had to tell her. Jinx already blamed herself for not treating you right anymore to explain your behavior. You noticed her anxiety getting worse these days but now you had a valid explanation for your latest behavior. Maybe that would calm her down and stop blaming herself?

There was not much time of thinking about how to explain to Jinx as you heard her walking into the hideout, a happy smile on her face as she catched your sight, you quickly hiding the test behind your back, wishing you already removed it and didn’t stare at it all the time while having a little discussion with your own mind about the result. „Hey toots!!“ She said with her usual wuirky behaviour you loved so much but she did notice you hid something behind your back. „What ya hiding there?“ She asked and you began to blush deeply, not being able to find the right words or to speak at all. „I-…“ You started but she cut you off by snatching it out of your hand. Why did you hide it anyways? You knew Jinx was too fast for you to even react when she tried to get it out your hands.

Her eyes widened when she saw what you were hiding, not knowing how to react. You bit down on your own lower lip, feeling nervous, scared she would be upset. „You are…“ She started, looking into your eyes with a soft gaze, you only nod in response which was enough for the blue haired girl to freak out but in a positive way. „Oh my god! My girl is pregnant!“ She squealed, being all jumpy and giggly, talking to herself about all the things she wants to do and build as she paced around the hideout before she stopped right in front of you, placing a lot of soft kisses on your lips. „I love you so much!“ She said in between the kisses before pulling back to look into your eyes again, you felt so relieved. „Jinx…are you happy?“ You asked just in case as if her reaction wasn’t enough. „Are you kidding me?! I am! I am the happiest my love!“ She reassured you, taking your hands in hers as she gently rubbed them with her thumbs. „I-I know I am chaotic and I know the things I do are weird and dangerous, making me question if I can do this right but…but I want it! I wanna take care of you both and make sure you will always feel loved.“

Her words made you feel so soft. You didn’t expect her to be this passionate about that topic but you loved it. You loved her. Her eyes got a little watery, the more she realised it, the more emotional she got. „I-I thought I did something wrong. I thought you stopped loving me but…but the real reason you behaved like this…it’s such a beautiful reason.“ Jinx voice was very soft and a little shaky as she let tears of happiness run down her cheeks and so did you. You couldn’t hold back your own emotions anymore as well, feeling so happy as well that she wasn’t upset about it. „I could never stop loving you…how could you even think that?“ You asked but in return she just kissed you again, this time more deeper and passionately as she made you lay down on your back. Right now she just wanted to feel you and give you her love, her tongue moving inside your mouth, making you gasp softly in return.

Both of you felt aroused by the deep kissing, your hormones being all over the place made you feel hornier than usual so it was obvious you wanted her and you showed it as your hands gently pulled on her pants, making her smirk into the kiss. „Heh…you want me don’t you?“ She hummed and you nodded. „Yes…yes please I need you.“ You almost beg for her to fuck you and of course she won’t deny you.

It didn’t took you long to be all over each other again, her marking your body with kisses and little gentle bites while her cock moved inside of you, her pace being slower than usual, making you chuckle a little. She must do that on purpose which was cute. „Hnn…you know you can go faster do you?“ She looked down at you with a soft gaze, you knew she didn’t want to do anything wrong but you reassured her. Jinx behavior was just so sweet. „Ah…yes I know of course.“ She said but you knew she was being careful now because she knew you were pregnant. After your reassurance she thrusted faster inside of you as she held your hips gently, going deeper as usual, losing herself into the pleasure just like you. Both of you being a moaning mess. „Fuck…I am close…“ She moaned out and you kept her close to you by wrapping your legs around her waist, making sure she won’t pull out. „M-me too…cum inside me please.“ You whined, her hips didn’t stop moving, moaning out loudly when she came and at the same time you reached your orgasm as well, feeling her fill you up with her cum, making both of you feel so good.

Both of you panted softly, her leaning down to kiss you again so lovingly. „You make me the happiest…“ She whispered. „And you make me the happiest.“ You answered with a soft smile, caressing her cheek as you both looked into each others eyes with so much love.

(Fluff bonus)

„Hey that tickles!“ You giggle softly as Jinx painted little hearts and other little cute stuff on your baby bump. „What? You’re my beautiful canvas.“ She teased by sticking her tongue out, a giggle leaving her own lips. She just loved doing these sweet little things with you.

„Who knows maybe our little one will be as creative as you?“ You mentioned, making Jinx smile more. „Maybe who knows?“ She answered before leaning down to place a kiss on your tummy and then nuzzling close to it. „I love both of you so so much you don’t even know…“ Her words so soft, almost like a whisper as she stayed close to you. „And we love you. Always and forever.“ You gently caressed her beautiful blue hair, making her smile as she closed her eyes and eventually feeling your little one kicking for the first time.

#x reader #fanfiction #female reader #x fem!reader #short imagine #lgbtq #arcane #arcane fanfic #jinx #jinx x fem!reader #jinx x y/n #jinx smut #jinx arcane #jinx x reader #smut scenarios #smut #arcane smut #g!p

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kaivenom · 1 year ago

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How would Benedict Bridgerton court you... HCS

Masterlist

You both first crossed glances at a ball, you were not a debutant, just passing around, just like his sister Eloise, you weren't much interested on claiming attention, but you catched his.

His first thought when he saw you in the back of the salon, tapping your feet to the rythm of the song while looking at a big painting was that he needed to paint you.

He spent the rest of the night, admiring you from the distance, until you both almost bumped into each other.

Inmediatly he took the chance and asked you to dance.

It was the funniest night you both had, cause after the dance, you talked about art, and drinked, and danced again, all night until your mother decided it was time to leave.

After that night, you didn't heard from him in a couple of weeks, you almost thought he forgot about you.

The thing was that he was collecting information about you, everything he could find that he knew you would like.

Then a bouquet of your favourite flowers came to your door, signed by the name of "Your artist", you knew it was him, but he surely wants to be romantic so you let him be.

A couple of days later, your favourite crystals, and then gems, and fabrics, and art supplies.

With this routine of secretism, a couple of months passed by with his gifts demostrating that he knows you.

You saw each other a couple more times during balls and dances, until you decided to approach him again.

"Why do you sent me notes but not talk to me?"

"I want you to see that i can know you better than anyone, plus i want you to be as crazy in love for me as i am for you."

A smile escaped both of your lips, suddently you had an idea.

You dropped your fan carefully and he inmediatly get down to pick it up.

"So... that's how you like to play then." he told you with a smirk.

"You said you wanted me to get crazy about you, who says i can't play that game too?"

"Then we both must play."

The once innocent game of knowing each other turned into a rollercoaster of temptation.

Small touches while dancing, innapropiate comments while talking in public, purposely moving to the corner of the room to have more privacy with your not so discreet behaviour.

(I firmly believe that Benedict is a switch with a very brat behaviour, so picture that)

Until your mother decided that you were going to marry a noble.

Thats when the game stopped and started to get serious.

Benedict distanced himself from you and you got so sad from the lonelyness that awaited your future that you wouldn't leave your room.

Your mother didn't let you alone in any social act, that means that you can't talk to him... ike that could make a change.

One week until the wedding and everything feels bad when suddently you received a bouquet of your favourite flowers with a note.

"I will not cut you like this flowers, but i will keep you to myself no matter how, with love Your Artist.

You almost broke in tears right there, your mother entered the room with your future husband to finish some business.

They didn't even care to ask you what happened, the just talked about your future like nothing.

One of the servants announced Benedict and everyone on the room turned around.

"I am here to propose."

"Too late, she is my fiancee." you couldn't believe what was happening.

"I double the endowment, my mother and brother approved it."

You know your mother will marry you to the best match she could find, which means the one who could provide more money.

After verifying everything was right, your mother inmediatly sent out your now ex-fiancee and welcomed with open arms your new husband.

"How?" you asked him, still processing.

"I intended to send you that flowers yesterday, i don't know why they got today." he sounded more concerned about his time planning that your tear, "Oh, you mean all the other things, sorry for ignoring you, once you got engaged my family forced me to separate myself to not staint your virtue... so i was convincing them to let me marry you."

"I..." you kissed him on the lips with passion, with all the emotions you've been keeping inside.

"I think we should wait to the weeding night, in a week." your eyes opened surprised while he justs smirks, "I didn't want any longer to kall you mine, so i managed to get a wedding licency too."

"I love you."

"I know, and i love you too."

#the bridgertons #the bridgertons x reader #the bridgertons x you #the bridgertons imagine #the bridgertons headcanons #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton headcanons #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #bridgerton x you

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an-idyllic-novelist · 4 months ago

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Jin "Jiji" Enjoji relationship headcanons

warnings: fem!reader, spoilers beyond the Cursed House arc, OOC, tooth-rotting fluff.

Special thanks to @miaurieee for beta-reading this draft before I posted it :3 I am caught up with the Dandadan manga series up to Volume 10, which somehow I was able to acquire over the Christmas break by nothing short of a miracle given to how my local bookstore keeps running out of stock 😅 So if you don’t want to be spoiled, it’s probably not a good idea to venture any further.

For those who have chosen to stay, I hope you’ll enjoy these headcanons~!

Although he is a flirty and weird-ass drama queen by nature, Jiji is the sweetest guy that a girl would love to have as a boyfriend. Not only is he charismatic, funny, easygoing, he is also loyal. Once he knows he has found that special someone, he is in it for the long haul. And he knows that it’s you because…well, he’s got great instincts! :3

He would definitely walk you to and from school.

Do you want a drink from the school cafeteria? No problem! Just give him a few and he’ll be right back~! He might seem a little flighty, but Jiji has a really good memory. Remember how he knew Momo preferred Pompy even when it’s been years since he’s seen her? Yeah, he’ll have your likes and dislikes memorized in no time.

Dates with Jiji would be spontaneous; ranging between cozy and quiet, like window-shopping around the city and then grab something at the coffee shop, adrenaline-pumping like playing against each other at the local arcade to see who can win the most tickets or going on all the rides at the amusement park, it’s honestly the luck of the draw. But please don’t feel obligated to do everything in one day just to make him happy, okay? If you’re feeling tired and want to go home or if you’re hungry, he’ll totally understand.

Communication and honesty are important foundations in your relationship, so bottling everything up inside is not a good idea and might cause Jiji to second-guess himself or think he’s doing something wrong.

Now, in regard to the whole Evil Eye scenario: he will insist that you stay away from the Ayase residence until the exorcism is completed. He has a mountain yokai inside of his body, and it was his own fault for inviting him inside. The last thing he wants is something to happen to you and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. This would happen if you two started dating right after he transferred schools or continued dating until he left town for the city after his parents’ hospitalization.

Flash forward to Okarun making a deal with the Evil Eye and fighting the yokai on Tuesdays after school, with the cursed underwear being safely kept at Manjiro’s shrine. Once he knows that the Evil Eye will not break his promise, especially after accidentally transforming a few times at home, Jiji will feel a little more at ease being around you. Just don’t go around splashing anything cold on him, just in case. Room temperature is fine. His chi training is paying off, so in the unlikely event that it does happen, he can revert the transformation and go back to normal. He might be a little tired afterwards, though.

If you two weren’t already together prior to the Evil Eye situation, Jiji would definitely be falling head over heels for you as time passed. He would see you as someone who is amazing in their own way, even if you had some glaring flaws and were a bit of a weirdo too :3 Brownie points if the Evil Eye actually doesn’t call you a turd and is semi-well-behaved when he’s around you at school or in public.

Treat this eccentric dude right, and your relationship will definitely be one heck of a rollercoaster ride that will be full of firsts, maybe some scary things, but he’ll be by your side through it all.

Taglist: @bdudette @hoodiepandaninja16 @napbatata @karai-frost @kazudare @myduality @shidousprincess @sleep-all-day-everyday @taesy-miranda-lee @osarumi @satorousgf @cherie-soup @skwunkler @melodiblues @anonymity-222 @cumbersome-robes @zero-in-kyoto @h0undd0gzw0rld @decay-1 @justamegafan @minnie-1-3 @bumblebeebutter @theofficialfem @sadprimrose @bigbodycity @daniiixoxo @silentbreathss @skelletonscloset @mira-belcul18 @thatstrangesheep @thewindigo

#dandadan #dandadan x reader #dandadan jiji #jin enjoji x reader #jin enjoji fluff #dandadan x you #jiji x reader #fem!reader #dandadan spoilers #dan da dan anime #dan da dan

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bytemee · 12 days ago

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· . BETTER THAN ME ⋆ you gon' figure out you lost one and that's me ⸝⸝

# in which— you and karina broke up, but neither of you really moved on... or moved out at that.

౨ৎ [ 𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝙼𝙴 ] ‘ — yu jimin x gp!reader. 3.1k words. exes to ? ⊹ 18+ smut, p in v (unprotected), sub!reader, dom!rina, nipple sucking, cowgirl, she really wants to slap u vro, and um cliffhanger kinda lol haha.

─── authors note. where’s all the angst requests. why is everything smut. i am not built for this. i hate my writing 💔 augh. sigh. k. bye.

[navigation] [main masterlist]

you could just hear it now.

"why on earth would you move in with a girl you dated for six months?"

fair question. really solid. probably the kind of thing your friends said behind your back. probably the kind of thing your mom would've said if you hadn't lied and told her you and karina were just roommates from the jump.

but when people were bold enough to ask you the question to your face. you gave them the same analogy every single time.

dating karina was like a rollercoaster. the excitement you got when everything was just starting, the stomach-dropping terror and exhilaration of the first drop, and the wild, out-of-control twists and turns. even the slow crawl and the pause at the top, the momentary reprieve. the end that came just a little too quickly.

then you had the aftermath, the afterglow, the dopamine rush, and the blissful comedown.

and like any good ride, the second it was over, you wanted to do it all over again—even if your head was spinning and your chest still hurt.

so when the lease came up and karina didn't move out… you didn't ask her to. you didn't think it was a problem… because the actual problem was that you still loved her.

you still notice how she folds her laundry with perfect corners and how her keys always jingle twice before she opens the door. how she hums when she washes her face. how she still wears that stupid oversized shirt you left in her room months ago, back when you were allowed to touch her.

you pretend not to notice.

you pretend a lot these days. like how it doesn't bother you when she comes home with her hair tousled and her lipstick smudged. like how your chest doesn't ache when you hear her laugh through the bathroom door, phone pressed to her ear, someone else on the other end.

you act like you're over it. because you should be. because you shouldn't have broken up with her. because it was your fault. because you should have let her go, you should have done a lot of things.

tonight was supposed to be nothing.

a girl with kind eyes and soft lips. someone to distract you. you didn't take her into your room. you didn't even kiss her for long. it didn't feel right. it never does.

you showered the second she left—hot water, hard scrub, hands on your face like you could rinse away the shame. then you threw on your old hoodie and dropped onto the couch because your body was too heavy to carry anymore.

you're not sure how long you sit there, staring at the tv screen, but eventually you hear her door creak open.

she doesn't say anything at first.

just walks into the living room like a ghost you summoned.

she's barefoot, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, legs bare under a shirt you haven't seen since—fuck, since before the breakup. one of your shirts, oversized and faded, hanging off one shoulder. her face is calm in that terrifying way only she can pull off.

she says nothing. just stares.

you don't move. again, you pretend. pretend as if her presence isn't affecting you.

then she walks over and stops right in front of you, blocking the glow from the screen. what a fucking ass.

"i smelled perfume earlier," she says. her mouth moved immediately afterwards. "was she pretty?"

you glance away.

"i didn't sleep with her."

karina hums. "did you want to?"

"no."

a beat. she takes another step closer.

"did you think it'd make me jealous?"

you're silent.

you truly don't have an answer. if you did make her jealous, it wasn't in an active, conscious way. a way to shove it into her face and say, "watch me move on," but you remember how you glanced at the door before it closed. how you stood a little taller walking back to your room, knowing karina was home.

karina scoffs under her breath. as if she's sifting through the bullshit in your silence and pulling the truth straight out of your thoughts.

"cute," she muttered. "real subtle, by the way. real mature."

you shift on the couch. "karina…"

she takes another step, standing between your legs; her knee brushes your thigh. her fingers lift, and then she's grabbing your jaw, just like she used to. fingertips pressing into your skin, forcing your face upward so she can look at you.

"do you miss me?" she asks. it's quiet… but the way her eyes dance around your face, they seem loud.

your throat tightens. you should lie. you always do. you've been doing it for weeks, months—hell, since the day you broke up.

you try to look away again, but her grip tightens just enough to keep you there.

"i asked you a question," she says, a little rougher this time.

your voice barely makes it out. "yeah."

karina doesn't react—not right away. she watches you, lips parted just slightly, her chest rising and falling.

"i miss you," you repeat, your hands slide up, gentle on her hips, and you rest your forehead on her stomach.

she exhales.

it sounds a lot like relief.

her fingers comb into your hair, and her other hand comes up, cupping the back of your head, keeping you close.

"you don't get to do that," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. "you don't get to try to fuck someone else and then say you miss me."

you squeeze her waist gently, holding her like you're trying to keep her from slipping out of your grasp again.

her nails scrape lightly against your scalp.

the sound that slips past your lips is almost pitiful.

"i'm sorry." it comes out choked, your voice muffled against her. "i didn't mean to—"

you cut yourself off, unsure of what to say next.

karina hums, her fingers tighten, pulling your head back, forcing you to look at her.

she studies you for a moment, trying to figure out if this is worth it—if you're worth it. and god, the part of her that misses you is louder than the part of her that's angry. but just barely.

"i should slap you," she murmurs…but she's already moving, already climbing into your lap, considering it's second nature, this is her place, well it was at one point. and some twisted part of her still believes it is only hers.

your breath hitches when her thighs settle on either side of yours, her hands sliding to your shoulders, grounding herself. you shift slightly, letting her settle, your palms sliding up her back, memorizing the curve of her spine.

it feels a little like the first time.

back when your hands were nervous and shaky and she was too good to be true. back when she was this bright spot in your life that you didn't know how to handle.

fuck, you handled it so fucking wrong.

karina leans in—closer, closer—and you tilt your head up to meet her, lips parting, desperate for it, aching—

but she pulls back just barely. enough to make you chase it. enough to make you curse under your breath.

karina smirks.

there is nothing gentle about her. not like this.

her lips press to the corner of your mouth, and then her teeth are nipping at your bottom lip, tugging just enough to make you gasp, and her tongue is hot, sliding into your mouth, curling against yours.

karina kisses the way she fights. with her whole body. with her soul.

you hold onto her like a drowning man, like you need her, because you do. because the second she breaks away, you realize that no one can kiss you like her. no one can touch you like her.

her hips roll down, hard, and your moan is muffled by her mouth, the sound swallowed down, greedily consumed. she pulls back again, just to catch her breath, and her hands are in your hair, pushing the hood off, and her lips press to the spot under your ear, her nose brushing along the curve of your jaw.

you inhale sharply, your hands sliding down, groping at her ass, pulling her harder against you, desperate, desperate, desperate.

she groans, the sound low and soft, her hips rocking, her teeth nipping at your throat.

your brain knows this is bad. that this isn't real, that you're going to wake up tomorrow morning, and she's not going to be there. it'll be worse than any hangover you've ever had.

but the rest of your body couldn't care less.

it feels good. it feels right. like you're both exactly where you're supposed to be.

karina lifts her head, her forehead resting against yours, her breath fanning against your lips.

"i hate you," she whispers.

you swallow.

"i know."

her eyes flutter shut, and you kiss her again, trying to say everything you never could. trying to make up for all the things you said with words that aren't even half as pretty.

the angle is a little awkward, but karina doesn't seem to notice. her hands are cupping your jaw, holding you in place, kissing you like you're oxygen and she's dying. she pulls back, panting, and before she can speak, you're lifting her shirt—your shirt—over her head, throwing it somewhere behind the couch.

karina doesn't bother hiding the way she stares at you.

you try not to preen under her attention, but it's hard when she's looking at you like that. like you're everything she wants, everything she's ever wanted.

"i need you," you breathe out, hands on her waist, her hips, squeezing just enough to feel the way her skin dimples under your fingers.

"then have me," she says, leaning in, her mouth hot against your neck.

the sound that slips out is downright filthy—you tilt your head to the side, giving her better access. karina's nails scrape against your scalp before they slide down, dragging hard down your back. your breath stutters, your back arches slightly, and your teeth sink into your lip hard enough to draw blood.

"rina—" your voice cracks. "i—please, i need…"

her laugh is low. it's wicked.

"you're lucky i missed you." her words are hot against your throat, punctuated by the sharp nip of her teeth. "because this doesn't mean shit."

"okay." you try to catch your breath. "yeah—whatever, okay. you—you can slap me, okay, i fucking deserve it, okay, i know—fuck…"

karina lifts her head. "shh," she murmurs. "i'll slap you later. but put that pretty mouth to a better use, yeah?"

you nod. you think you nod. you can't be sure. her hands find yours, trailing them from the bottom of her rib cage up to her chest. she hums softly. "do you want me to show you, baby? want me to walk you through it?"

"no—no, i remember, i can… fuck, i can do it…"

she presses her lips against yours. it's more gentle than the kiss from earlier. a soft reminder to breathe, a reminder that she's still there.

her hand moves to the back of your head, leading you, guiding you, and then your hand pushes up your shirt—yours—her back arching, her head dropping back as your mouth moves, teeth scraping, tongue swirling.

"that's good," karina says, her voice quiet. "fuck… you were always so good…"

her other hand rests on the back of your neck, and it's a comforting weight—but also a reminder that you're doing this because she's allowing you to, not because you're entitled to it.

you take your time—kissing and biting and sucking, red blooming under your tongue. karina's hips move against you, seeking out pressure, her body remembering every place to rock against yours, especially over the tent in your sweats. she gasps softly when you pull away, eyes meeting hers, a question in the way you stare.

she nods, just slightly, and your tongue flicks against her nipple, your hand squeezing the other one gently, just enough pressure to make her shiver. she groans, fingers tangling into your hair, keeping you close, and her breath comes in sharp bursts when your lips close around it, teeth nipping, her chest pressed to yours as her head drops forward.

she doesn't say anything.

her words have always come through actions, anyway.

a sharp tug at your hair—more—another gentle press to the top of your head—enough—and her head falling forward, lips pressing to the top of yours, fingers gentle—perfect—

it's a silent exchange, a secret language only the two of you understand.

"baby." her voice is hoarse, fingers combing into your hair, pushing it back, trying to keep it out of your face.

your eyes lift up.

"need to feel you," she says, almost a demand, but there's an edge of desperation that betrays her.

she knows as well as you do that this is the last night. that the second the sun comes up, she'll be gone again. that tomorrow, things will be just as bad as they were before. that tomorrow, you'll both wake up and pretend none of this ever happened.

tomorrow, you won't remember how soft her thighs are. how good it feels to touch her.

tonight is a luxury that neither of you can afford.

but karina doesn't like waiting.

she slips her fingers under the hem of your sweatpants, and her breath is warm against your face, and her chest is red and splotchy, and her mouth is swollen—and you know you have no choice.

her fingers are hot, curled around your length, her hand stroking up and down—and you almost choke on your next breath.

karina watches you through her lashes. she knows how good she is. how she's ruined every single girl that came after her—that none of them could ever come close to the way she feels. how the only touch that makes you squirm anymore is her own.

but she never gloated about it. she never threw it in your face, either. it was just something the two of you both knew.

but now with her body straddling yours, her hair a dark curtain falling over you both as she smiled against your mouth, a smile that basically said, "remember how good i can make you feel?"

the reminder never hurt.

her thumb swirls against the tip of your cock, smearing the bead of pre-cum leaking from it.

your hands slide down to her ass, fingers squeezing. your hips jerk, your lips parting with a soft whimper.

"fuck."

she smirks.

"i think," she murmurs, pressing her lips against the corner of your mouth, her fingers squeezing just enough to make you twitch in her grip, "we can skip the condom tonight."

your throat tightens, and you nod.

she lifts her hips, obviously too far into it to remove her underwear, so she goes for the easier option, just shifting them to the side. her hips lower, her fingers wrapping around your cock, holding it steady as she slowly lowers herself.

and then—

"holy fuck."

karina hums in response, a quiet sound in the back of her throat that's just enough to tell you to shut the hell up.

you watch her closely, trying to memorize the look on her face, the way her eyes squeeze shut, the way her bottom lip is tucked between her teeth, the way her nose scrunches, and the way her eyebrows furrow. the soft groan that slips out.

"shit," she says, her head dropping forward. "you're…"

she trails off, not bothering to finish the thought.

her eyes open, and she glances up, catching you staring. you look away, and her hand is on your jaw, forcing you to look at her.

"watch me," she murmurs. "be good."

"yeah—yes, okay, i will. i'll be good, promise."

she rolls her hips slowly, adjusting, and then she's leaning forward, pressing her mouth against yours. your hand rests on her hip, and the other slips behind her neck, holding her close, kissing her like it's the last time you'll get to do it.

she starts moving.

she rides you slow, taking her time, and her moans are quiet, her breathing soft, and her hips are grinding down, chasing the pressure. her hands rest on your shoulders, and she moves, her thighs flexing with each movement.

"look at me," she breathes out, her hand cupping your cheek.

you blink, your eyes focusing.

"i want you to watch," she says, her words barely making it out as she moves faster. "wanna you to see when i cum. you're gonna make me cum first, right? because you're good for me, aren't you?"

your throat tightens.

"i can… yes, okay, i can do that, i'll be good, please—fuck, let me touch you…"

"go ahead." her lips brush against yours.

your hand slides between her legs, and she moans, her head falling forward, lips parted, eyes squeezed shut, and the sound that comes out of her throat is something that's barely human.

you press your thumb against her clit, and she curses.

"faster," she orders, her hips rocking. "more, baby, c'mon…"

you obey, and then she's moving faster and harder, and the hand on your shoulder is gripping onto you like you're a life raft, like if she lets go, she'll fall overboard. her body arches against yours, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she reaches the edge. you feel her muscles tense, her nails digging into your skin so hard it'll probably leave marks.

who were you to complain?

"fuck, baby, i'm so close," she whispers.

"good," you murmur, pressing a kiss to her temple, and then her forehead, and then her cheeks.

it doesn't take much more.

a few circles of your thumb, and her eyes roll back, her voice breaking, a cry slipping past her lips, and her body tensing, and her walls clamping around you, and her chest pressed to yours.

"oh, oh, god, holy shit, fuck."

her eyes soon lock onto yours, her gaze not leaving you, watching the way you react to her. how you bite your lip, the soft grunts, the way the tendons in your neck stand out, the way your brows knit together, and the way your arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer, and the way your hips jerk upwards, and the way the moan rumbles in your chest, and the way the warmth spreads through her, and the way her name slips off your tongue.

her arms wrap around your neck, her head resting on your shoulder. her hips roll, riding out the last waves, and you can feel her pulse against your tongue, beating just as fast as yours. your hand rubs her back gently; you don't want her to leave the circle of your arms.

not yet.

"did you…?"

"mhm."

"okay, good, that's good, perfect, thank you, thank you, rina, thank you."

"stop babbling," she mumbles.

but her hand is still on the back of your head, and her lips are brushing your ear, and her body is warm against yours.

then her hand wraps around your length, and her hips rise, and the loss of her makes you whimper.

"shh," she says, her lips finding yours. "did you think i'd forget about you?"

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always-just-red · 7 months ago

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A/N: So I threatened a while back to write MC arresting Sylus since he literally won’t shut up about it. Thought this would be a silly fic but it ended up an angst-driven exploration of how his time with MC is probably finite and ill-fated?? Anyway Sylus is too soft for this, I’m sorryyyy (Sy I love you! I would never do this to you! ‘Didn’t it come from your imagination, though?’ Ssshhhh you don’t know what you’re saying!! 🥰)

To Remain Silent

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: Sylus has told you to arrest him one too many times...

Genre: Emotional rollercoaster honestly? Some angst, some comfort (and a lil spice for flavour)

Warnings/Additional tags: gn!reader, vaguely established relationship, gets a little steamy at the end (mostly kissing tbh), artistic licence applied liberally since this would be WAY too risky for MC to actually attempt 😭😭

| Word count: 2.7k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Sylus knows this isn’t real.

You watch him through the glass of his cell, and the subtle tint to it lets you know that he can’t watch you back. He’s sat on the single bench inside, leaning against the far wall, his long legs stretched out before him. His hands are cuffed— tucked away behind his back— but he still looks comfortable. More than comfortable: at ease. At home. Bored.

“You think I can’t feel those pretty little eyes of yours on me?” he mutters, head back, eyes closed. “I’m at your mercy, kitten. Are you really only going to look?”

You tap a button on the glass. “You should start taking this seriously.”

He smiles at the sound of your voice, but his eyes don’t open; there’s still nothing to see. “I’m taking it very seriously, sweetie.”

“I don’t think you are.”

The smile turns even more smug: a confession, all by itself. He sits up and leans forward, like someone who’s found a change of conversation to be interesting. His eyes open— managing to find you, somehow, and— can he see you? No. It’s an educated guess, he’s just selling it with confidence.

Leisurely, he rises from his seat and saunters over to the glass. “Let me see you,” he orders, then bargains: “Please? This is so very—” he toes the division— “one-sided.”

You can’t look him in the eyes, can you? This is hard enough without the windows to your soul baring your heart and your mind to him, like they always do. You should have worn those sunglasses he bought you for that undercover assignment. This is what they’re for, right? Hiding.

With a circular swipe of your finger, the glass before you clears and Sylus meets your gaze.

“Hi,” he teases.

You fold your arms across your chest. “Hey.”

“This is quite some effort you’ve gone to, kitten. And all for me, no less.”

“What effort?” you dismiss plainly. “You practically slapped those handcuffs on yourself.”

It’s not an exaggeration: from the cuffs to the ride here, not a single stage of his arrest has been resisted. The closest he’s gotten to a lack of cooperation was when you’d first restrained and dragged him from his study, where he’d been inclined to point out that the bedroom was the other way.

“Well, I didn’t want to cause a fuss,” he smirks. One of his hands is brought forward, and his handcuffs now hang uselessly from a finger. “Tell me,” he says, letting them swing as he holds your gaze, “what am I to expect now I’ve been so masterfully captured?”

You glance at the restraints, unmoved. “That isn’t for me to decide.”

A door behind you slides open, and— right on time— an altogether more impressive presence joins you before the cell. Sylus glances her up and down as the click of her heeled boots come to a stop; he has never met your captain, but he knows her face.

“You really cashed in all your favours, didn’t you, sweetie?” he observes. He turns to address the woman beside you: “We haven’t been introduced. I’m—”

“I know who you are,” Jenna interrupts, her tone as incorruptible as yours.

Sylus’s arm lifts, resting on the glass above you so he can tower over you, despite the partition. “Is that right?” he purrs absent-mindedly, dropping his head so he can speak into your ear. “Sweetie… I thought you could keep a secret.”

He’s goading you into your usual game, but the stakes don’t interest you. “You were wrong.”

You’re at your own table, dealing your own cards. Does he want to play? You think he might. His lips are curving at the delicious prospect of a challenge. You’ve given him a taste of it. He wants more.

Jenna is studying her clipboard, acting oblivious. She senses the impasse. Asks Sylus: “Do you know why you’re here?”

He huffs impatiently. “Enlighten me.”

“Sylus,” you scold.

Red eyes widen a fraction.

You see it.

Good.

…

Sylus thinks this might be real.

You said his name. His real name: the one with sharp, bloody strings attached. The one on all the posters. The one in your precious Association’s archives, linked to stacks of files and crime scene photos, most of which he isn’t even responsible for.

Sylus. You said: Sylus.

It was worthy of a grand reveal— the sort of plot twist that delivered the suspense of so many thrillers— but here you are, speaking it like it’s nothing. Not a slip of the tongue; not a mistake. And it’s different here. He’s not your Sylus. He’s theirs.

Their murderer. Their monster. Their convenient little scapegoat for everything dark and unholy.

The captain is reading him a list, reeling off every crime— each alleged sin. As if he needs a reminder. As if all the time in the world could ever let him forget. “Needless to say, Mr Sylus,” she summarises, “due to the nature of these crimes, you may prove exempt from our standard procedures. A case like this is… unprecedented. Onychinus has much to answer for. You have much to answer for.”

Sylus hasn’t really been listening; it’s all senseless bureaucracy. “You have the wrong man,” he says, because whatever you’re doing— whatever stunt this is— a confession is sure to derail it. You know that, don’t you? You must be counting on it: holding that guilty breath of yours and hoping he’s smart enough to not be Sylus.

You don’t look worried in the slightest. You must have an awful lot of faith in him.

He studies you, waiting for a small, deliberate smile or a moment of weakness. Give him a sign, don’t give him a sign— it doesn’t matter; he’ll find one. His intentions must be clearer than yours, because you step up to the glass to face him.

Do it, your silence says, even though the rest of you is illegible. You want to look? Look.

His eye could light like a crimson fire— could burn the truth out of you— but it won’t. It’s a promise he made what feels like a lifetime ago, not long after you’d met: Your thoughts and desires are yours to give, not his to take.

Even here. Even now. He’s a man of his word, after all.

Impressed? You smile faintly, but there’s no warmth to it. “Captain,” you speak, your eyes not leaving his, “can you give us a minute? Please?”

“Of course,” the woman answers with a nod.

Sylus does not see her go. He hears it: the retreating rhythm of her shoes. He feels it: it’s just the two of you, alone again. Well, the two of you and that ‘hidden’ camera in the far corner of the room. “Whatever game this is,” he grins good-naturedly, his teeth gritted, “it stops. Now.”

“It’s not a game, Sylus. I told you to take this seriously.”

“What are you doing?” he snaps, and that good-natured grin didn’t last very long.

Your hands land on your hips. “My job.” When he scoffs, you continue: “Did you really think this would end any other way? After everything you’ve done?”

He laughs and it’s deeply sardonic. He’s no saint— to try to convince you he was would be a crime worthy of punishments far worse than this. But you know him. You know the line and what stands on each side of it: everything he’s done, yes, and everything he’s been made to take the fall for.

You wouldn’t do this to him. Would you? “You want to play pretend? Fine,” he hisses. He wants to wrap his Evol around that godforsaken camera and annihilate it. “You caught the big, bad boss of Onychinus— congratulations, sweetie. Sure. Let’s say that’s who I am. A man like that has power, right? So what’s to keep him— me— from escaping? Right now?”

“You’re not going to leave, Sylus. Wanna know why?”

He’s sure you’re going to tell him, and you do:

“Because you’re all talk. All smoke and mirrors. You want to go? Go. But there’s not a single person in this building who wouldn’t give their life to bring you back. Someone will catch up to you eventually, and what then?”

“I’ll have a lot of fun, I imagine.”

“You’ll do nothing,” you correct. “Because those people out there? They’re my friends. My family. You hurt them? You hurt me. Make all the threats you want, Sylus— we both know the truth.”

He towers over you, still, but it’s hard not to shrink at your next words:

“You don’t have it in you.”

Your eyes are sharp: whetted with resentment. Sylus is your reflection— your worthy opponent, always— but he just can’t look at you like that.

There’s a quiet hiss as you slide a finger over the cell’s control panel. White, neon light carves through the glass partition: two vertical lines that bleed upwards, either side of him, before bending to meet each-other. The glass between them shimmers, then fades.

Sylus stands on the precipice of the doorway, cool air crawling past him. He stares up at the camera, then down at you. Your arms have folded again as you watch him— a narrative of apathy.

“How about it, Sylus?” you ask bitterly. “Still think you can outrun fate?”

“No.” Not since it started wearing your face. Fate is you, putting a bullet in his heart, and him, waking up so you can do it over and over again. Maybe this is real. Maybe it isn’t. “What do you want from me?” he entreats softly, because you’ll get it— either way.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you sneer, and your hand shoots out, grasping a fistful of his shirt. You use it to drag him out of the cell, closer, lower, so that his face is mere inches from yours.

“No,” he repeats. “Say it.”

Your eyes burn like pyres: so dangerous, so beautiful, so suited to being the death of him. “I want you—” you begin, as they flit briefly to his lips— “to tell me…”

“What?”

“How you cheat at kitty cards.”

Oh. Oh.

You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?

Sure enough, you drop his shirt and burst into laughter— irrepressibly you again. The fire in your eyes has simmered down into something warm, safe, and comfortable, and— gods— you’re even crying. You’re doubled over, holding your stomach as though it hurts. You lift a hand to wipe your wet cheek. “Your face,” you get out between gasps, “oh, your face!”

Yours is not the only laughter, but it’s the only laughter Sylus hears.

“We so got you, Skye!” Tara’s vaguely familiar voice resounds from an intercom.

There’s some confusing static with it— more tittering voices— and Sylus suspects he’s found himself the star of your colleagues’ after-work entertainment. He puts his hands on his hips as he looks up at the camera. “Is the whole office—”

“Yeah,” you manage, wiping away another tear. “Figured it would be good for morale. Good practice, too.”

“Practice?”

“Mmhmm,” you confirm with a hum. You’ve apparently gotten a handle on the hilarity of the situation, because you approach him with something close to composure. Meditatively, you smooth down the fabric of his shirt. Straighten his collar. “For when we catch the real Sylus one day.”

He captures your wrists; that’s a lot of tenderness for someone who just tried to give him a heart attack. Maybe he’s a little too rough, because you pout at him in a way that makes him instantly soften his grip.

“You ok, Skye?” you enquire with an ironic smile and an adorable tilt of your head.

His thumbs are feathering over your pulse points, and slowly, he leans in to deliver a message, just for you: “If I say no, will you make it up to me?”

…

Sylus knows this is real.

His mouth is on yours and it’s relentless, desperate; you made him wait for it. How long has he been wanting to trap you against the nearest wall, just like this, so he can kiss you until he forgets just how cold you can be?

He’s been very patient. He didn’t roll his eyes or utter a word of complaint when you’d dragged him to join your colleagues for dinner. It was your victory party, your ‘I made you look like an idiot’ party, but he was his usual, charming self, and your friends all adored him for it. They’d spun him the tale of his ‘arrest’— the planning, the preparation, and your lightbulb moment:

“Hey, guys, have you ever thought about how Skye kinda looks like Sylus?”

Only he could understand how wickedly clever it was. His eyes had sought yours as he listened, lazy, content, and so obviously biding his time. You’d smiled at him. He’d smiled back.

And he’d stayed smiling, even after the party was over and you’d had to walk a slightly-tipsy Tara home. She’d refused a taxi, insisted Sylus escort her— oh, and you could come, too! He’d lent her his arm: humoured every squeeze and chuckled at each remark about the size of it. You’d had to swat her away, in the end.

“I’m just teasing, y’know?” she’d giggled as the three of you arrived at her front door. “Skye knows I’m just teasing. You’re such a sweetheart, Skye. Imagine! You— the leader of Onychinus!”

She’d laughed, much too loud for such a quiet street, and with a less-than-subtle wink, left the two of you alone. Which is how you’d ended up here, in an alley around the back of her building, because it was Sylus’s turn to drag you somewhere.

His attentions have moved lower; there’s a subtle clink as his fingers find the clasp of your shirt collar and he peels it back, exposing your neck. His lips leave yours, trailing down, down— past the line of your jaw and over the soft, vulnerable column of your throat. You gasp as he brushes over a sensitive spot, and you could swear you feel him smile.

He’s always been passionate, but this is a different fire, fuelled by something you can’t ignore, no matter how much you want to:

Relief.

“Sy,” you murmur breathlessly, your hand in his hair, tugging gently. “Sy, stop.”

“Mmm?” he acquiesces, voice sinfully low as the cold evening air takes his place kissing your neck. His eyes shine like blood spilt in the dead of night— lingering on you. He looks drunk.

You lift a hand to cup his face and run your thumb over his cheek. “I’ll never let anything happen to you, Sylus. You know that, right?”

Those dark eyes find clarity with your words, full of apprehension for just how naive you can be. The future will turn on you just as quickly as a wild animal someone boasts about having tamed, and aren’t you foolish, thinking you can control something like that?

Besides, that’s his job.

“I know,” he says like he’s supposed to— ever the martyr, following the script. He goes to nuzzle into you again, but your hand is still tight in his hair and he groans as you use it to pull him back.

“I mean it,” you reassert, forcing him to look at you. You don’t care that it’s ridiculous. You don’t care that fate is so hot on your heels that you have to keep running. You’re tired. He’s even more tired.

Isn’t it nice to stop and catch your breath?

Pretend you have time: His gaze is full of faith and oh, the world is going to enjoy punishing the two of you. “I know,” he insists, because this is the second time you’ve fooled him tonight. You feel his hand on your face and you let him kiss you— again, then again— so achingly slow, so arrogant.

The world can wait; he wants to punish you first.

“Do you really want to know—” he distracts as he finds that sensitive spot on your neck again— “how I cheat at kitty cards?”

The pad of his finger is chasing the path of his mouth; it tickles. You whine: “Tell me later, Sy.”

“Ok,” he breathes against you.

Later. There’ll be a later.

Won’t there?

#🖋rach is actually writing #sylus x reader #sylus #love and deepspace #lads sylus #lnds sylus #l&ds sylus #qin che #sylus x mc #sylus x you #lads x reader #lads #lnds #l&ds

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veethefreeelf · 1 year ago

Text

How many chances are too many chances? Y.JH

This is part 2 to ‘How many times does it take to get smarter?’ Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions and I’M SORRY ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ

Summary:

It’s been 6 months since the night you and Jeonghan went your separate ways. You’re sure he has moved on and you… are working on moving on. Nothing can go wrong, right?

Wordcount: 14k (SORRY)

Warnings: pussy slapping, some spanking, slut is used a lot, oral f. receiving (face-sitting), vaginal penetration - unprotected sex, Jeonghan is hot and bossy - dom af, cream-pie, slight dumbification

Requested: yes, by popular demand

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters

It’s been 6 months since you had seen each other. Since you told him everything you had been holding back for years and he walked away from you. He walked away from your friendship as if everything you two had shared over the years had been meaningless. As if you were replaceable.

You were doing okay. In the first few weeks you had cried yourself to sleep. You even destroyed all the pictures you had with him like a teenager in a movie. But eventually, it started getting easier. Waking up and not getting a single text from him or call during the day got easier. You started getting used to the silence.

You had also put the pictures you ripped apart back together. Very clumsily but you tried. You loved some of those pictures and they contained some of your very favorite memories with him and all the boys. You couldn’t get rid of it. You couldn’t also look at them so after you fixed them, you decided they would now live in a permanent corner in your closet in a box and hopefully, one day, you’ll be able to look at them again and smile.

In these 6 months, things have been going well with everything else in your life. You got a promotion. You and your family had been closer than ever and you had great friends who had helped you put everything behind you. Well… most of your friends.

Some of them, like the one calling you right now, wanted nothing more but for the both of you ‘to stop being fucking idiots and be together’. It’s been a struggle balancing seeing the boys and not seeing Jeonghan. You had mostly skipped all of your usual gatherings because you knew he would be there. You knew you would be the one losing the boys. They had been friends for far longer than you had been in their lives, so when a falling out like this happens, of course, you would be the one that would walk away.

This however, has made all the boys very annoyed. They have all called you at some point to tell you they were angry at you and wanted you back with them. ‘It isn’t fair’ they kept telling you.

You agree. Nothing about this is fair. It’s sad. For everyone. Everyone lost something, somehow and you blame yourself for it.

You should answer the phone though, otherwise, the boy known as your twin would cause absolute mayhem in all of your lives. He has already threatened you about it enough times for you to know he would do it without hesitation.

“Hello, Kwannie. Calling in the middle of the day is not very on brand for you. You good?” you asked.

“I’m amazing. I am calling you in the middle of the day because you have decided to ignore Soonyoung and he is now pouting and making my life hell. I have many questions. Number one: How dare you?” Seungkwan is the first one they use when they want something from you. Fair enough. Not even you want to deal with the anger of your friend.

“Kwannie… Now, now… That’s no way to speak to me even if you are using Office quotes which I very much appreciate” you said with a teasing tone.

“Haha very funny, Y/N. You have been hilarious in the past 6 months, you know that? Amazing. And as much as I would LOVE for you to continue being this way, I am the one that has to deal with the consequences of you ghosting all of us” he stated in an incredibly monotonous tone. You know what’s coming next and it’s mostly why you have avoided them all.

“Seungkwan, I haven’t ghosted any of you. I’m busy, you know that… That’s all…” you said in your best apologetic tone.

He laughed dryly and added: “You can’t be serious. I know you’re busy, promotion and all. But you also know after everything that happened, communication between us and you has been extremely difficult. You barely show up to any of our usual outings, you don’t speak in the group chat. Look… I get it, I do. But we shouldn’t all be punished because one of us is a complete idiot, and I know you know that too”.

You knew he was right, they didn’t deserve any of it. It wasn’t their fault. But how can you just show up to things with Jeonghan there? How can you join in the group chat with everyone while you know you have his number blocked and deleted everything related to him on your phone?

You had done a pretty good job moving on in every other part of your life. But not here, not with the boys. You didn’t know how. You hadn’t found that balance yet and you weren’t sure you were ready to see him yet. Or at all.

“Your silence is deafening, Y/N” Seungkwan spoke on the other side of the line.

“I’m sorry… You know I am but… I’m not ready, Seungkwan. And to be honest, I’m not sure I ever will be” you said sadly.

“Hey… We’re your friends too, you know? Don’t push us away, please. Not anymore. That’s all we’re asking. Well… Soonyoung is also asking for you to come to his party this Saturday. The guys’ performance team was picked to go to the international competition and he wants you there to celebrate. We all do”.

Seungkwan always knew what to say to get you to cave. It was why everyone called you twins, you always knew what to say to get the other one to do whatever you wanted, no matter what.

“They made it? That’s fucking amazing. Tell them--”

“Tell them yourself, Y/N. Saturday. Soonyoung’s place. 8:30. Not gonna lie to you. He’ll be there. But you don’t have to interact with him. It will be a big party and I won’t leave your side. Promise.” he interrupted you but you get it.

You’re not sure if you should go. This doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. But you miss them. All of them. Hanging out like before, playing beer pong, letting Seungkwan destroy everyone at Karaoke…

“And this has nothing to do with your personal interest in beating Shua and Vernon at beer pong, Boo Seungkwan?” you asked to lighten the mood a bit.

“Well… If your falling out with Jeonghan gives me the opportunity to pair up with you after all these years, finally, and destroy them… I call that an added bonus!” he said jokingly.

“Is there a theme? Hoshi always has a theme…” you asked.

“College. Yes, I know… Don’t ask. He said college and everyone went with it” he said with a distaste but you know he loves Hoshi more than he would like to admit. Even if he swore to keep calling him Soonyoung out of spite.

“And, if I go, which by the way, I am not saying that I will… You won’t leave my side? The whole night?” you asked and he reassured you right away.

“Of course. I promise. He won’t have a chance to talk to you, I’ll keep him away. I would also volunteer to take your phone but we both know you have him blocked so that’s not going to be necessary”.

Weird. You haven’t told anyone you blocked Jeonghan. I mean, it’s an easy assumption to make but he seemed confident when he said it. You wondered how he knew.

After you promised you would think about it and heard Hoshi cheering in the background, you talked a bit more about your lives and what has been going on and you hung up after a while of catching up.

You spent the rest of your Sunday thinking about this. You know Seungkwan will keep his promise and you know this isn’t a trap but… you’re not ready to see him.

You don’t know if you’ll be strong enough not to speak to him. Sure, you haven’t spoken to him in the last 6 months but you have thought about unblocking him multiple times. Maybe going to this party is not the best idea.

Friday night comes at you fast. You were so busy the whole week that the week flew by and you are now panicking about tomorrow. You hadn’t thought about this party most of the week, you hadn’t had time and here you were. In front of your closet, trying to pick clothes that say ‘college’ apparently and wondering if you should even go at all.

You know if you called any one of them right now and told them you weren’t going, they would collectively be mad at you and even plot to get you there somehow.

It’s too late to back out. You’re going tomorrow. And… you’ll be fine. Seungkwan will be with you and you will hang out with the boys and you will ignore him.

You started laughing out loud. Ignore him? Please, you want to think you are so important in his life but if you were, he wouldn’t have left you the way he did. He probably doesn’t care that you’re going. Why would he even want to speak with you? Leaving was his choice.

After 30 minutes of hurting yourself and staring at your closet, you start getting several messages from all the boys. You knew it. They weren’t going to let you out of this one and they had decided to collectively torture you. Using Shua and Vernon’s emotional blackmail was a bit much but you knew they were throwing everything at you to make sure you were going.

You pulled out your regular college outfit and set it in your chair next to your bed, made yourself some warm tea and went to the couch to binge a show. ‘Hopefully the tea and the show will make me fall asleep’ you thought.

You were wrong. You barely slept. You kept moving around in bed, trying to fall asleep. Heart beating out of your chest. You don’t know how you’ll survive this.

You decided to keep busy the whole day. It had worked during the week so you went to visit your sister and see your nephew. He would keep you occupied. He had brought a light into your life you didn’t know could be there and you know he will always keep you entertained and you will do the same for him.

This had all gone well until your sister tells you they have a birthday party to attend at 4:30 so you’d have to leave pretty soon.

Great. Of course.

As soon as you got home, you got a FaceTime call from Lily.

Lily was your best friend since middle school. You had been through everything together and you were as close as sisters. You had introduced her to the boys shortly after you had met them and she fit right in. Not only that but she fell in love. She and Seungcheol have been together since they met. ‘Love at first sight’ they both said. You had always been jealous of that. It had always been so easy for them. Meeting, falling in love, growing together. You were also unbelievably happy for them, especially Lily. She deserved the world.

“Let me guess… Outfit check?” you asked after answering the call.

“Duh! Let me see what you chose! We could match tonight. It’s been such a long time since we wore matching outfits, Y/N! Since college actually, which is the theme. Do you see how perfect this is???” she asked excitedly.

“There’s a reason why we haven’t done that since college, Lil” you laughed.

“Oh come on! It would be hilarious!” she tried to convince you.

“Seungcheol left you high and dry, huh? So now you come to me for a matching outfit? Your second choice, really? Hmm… Not very convincing, I must say” you started teasing her.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you are both boring…” she said pouting.

“Look, I already picked it out. You’re not gonna like it, so Seungcheol is probably your best option between the two of us” you laughed as you warned her.

You knew her taste, she had always been way braver than you when it came to outfits for parties and, only on special occasions, did you let her win and change your whole outfit. This is definitely not one of those times. She knew that too.

“Fine. Don’t need either of you. See you there. Will be mad” she said and hung up on you.

You knew the game, she’ll pretend to be angry but by the time the party starts and you’re there she has already forgotten and all the love comes back immediately.

It was still fairly early. 5PM. You had 3 and a half hours to kill. You were tired. You had barely slept. ‘A nap it is’ you thought.

It sounded like a great idea and it felt like a great idea until you woke up and realized you had forgotten to set your alarm. It was now 9PM and your phone was blowing up.

Everyone was pissed. Damage control. Call Hoshi. He seemed the angriest from all the texts and missed calls you had. You explained it to him and told him you will be there. He sounded skeptical but he finally let you off the phone to get ready.

You had gotten ready in record time and managed to get to the party before 10PM.

As soon as you walked in, you felt at home. You missed this. So much. Too much.

You hear several screams and noise and you know you've been spotted.Seungkwan and Hoshi rush over to you being the loudest people in the room as usual.

“You boys sure know how to make a girl feel welcome” you tell them with a big smile.

“Took you long enough. The beer pong tournament will start soon. Start drinking, warm-up. Come on, Y/L/N. This is THE YEAR” Seungkwan tells you.

“Quiet, Seungkwan. This is the outfit you chose, really?” Hoshi looks you up and down.

“How dare you? I spent most of my college years in this sporty outfit. I look amazing, thank you very much” you stated and squinted your eyes at him.

“You also didn’t get laid often in college did you, Y/N?” he asked cockily.

“Well, not all of us can be the slut of the campus, Hoshi. You earned that title, very early on” you teased him.

“I missed you… Never disappear again, we will all chase you down” Hoshi said sincerely.

“Yeah. yeah. Emotional get together, we are all in tears, wow. Now, let’s go, Y/N. We need to destroy them. Warm up” Seungkwan interrupted your moment with Hoshi.

Suddenly, you see out of the corner of your eye movement towards you three.

Shua, Vernon and Seokmin are all running towards you. Seokmin picks you up and spins you around very excitedly.

“Is this a rom-com in the nineties? Put her down, Seokmin, we all missed her and want a well deserved hug” Shua said.

You hugged the three boys. Vernon didn’t say a word, just gave you a knowing nod. Very typical.

“Congratulations on the promotion, Y/N! We all heard about it and we are so happy for you. You worked so hard, you earned it” Seokmin said while holding your hand.

“Yeah, we wanted to take you out to celebrate but… it’s been hard reaching you most of the time” Vernon said looking in your eyes. There it is. The guilt trip. You deserved this and they knew who to choose to make you feel that way.

“I know, Hansol. I’m sorry. I’ll be better from now on. Promise” you said sincerely.

While you were all silent, sharing this moment, a scream, more like a screech, echoed through the party and you all looked in it’s direction.

Lily. Yup. Very obvious. She is walking as fast as she can in her heels towards you with a huge smile on her face and with Seungcheol right behind her.

And there he was. Right behind Seungcheol. Walking in your direction.

And he wasn’t alone. Of course. Next to him was this cute, small girl with big eyes. She looked so innocent and small. Just his type.

All of your worries disappear. He’s not going to talk to you. He never cared. You truly had been such a fool for so long. You wonder how you never saw through it. It doesn’t matter. You decide to focus on the people in front of you that truly love you and are so happy to see you.

“You were right about the outfit. I hate it” Lily says after hugging you and dropping her smile.

You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s the reason I didn’t get laid in college. You’re too late for that joke, Lil. But thanks, for the clear and unconditional support on your side, as usual” you said annoyed.

“Come on… It’s not the only reason… Your resting bitch face and bombastic side eye were the main reasons you didn’t get laid in college” she said and everyone laughed.

“Okay, it’s been nice seeing you all. Leaving now. See you all in a year” you started to turn away.

“No way you’re leaving. It’s been months, you owe us this. Better bring your A-game tonight, Y/N. Some of us aren’t in a merciful mood” Seungcheol pulled you back into the group.

“That’s all you got for me, Seungcheol? You’re getting soft” you said, challenging him.

“It’s your fault. Left me all alone with all of them. You brought this on yourself” he said, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Hi, Y/N. Congratulations on the promotion” Jeonghan spoke, almost whispering. He sounded nervous.

Everyone whipped their heads around to look at Jeonghan and then you. They kept looking between the two of you. Some of them expected you to blow up and some of them expected you to be polite and cordial. You surprised all of them.

You looked away from Jeonghan without speaking a word. You turned to Seungkwan and locked your arm with his.

“So? Lead me to our victory, partner. Or should I replace you before we even start?” you asked him.

“Absolutely not, you’re mine. We’re gonna destroy all of you. Prepare yourselves” he stared at Vernon, Shua and Seungcheol specifically.

Then he led you towards the alcohol. You were extremely thankful for him.

Seungkwan might have met Jeonghan before he met you but there was a reason everyone said you must have been twins in another life. He suffered the way you did, his reactions were similar. Your side eyes? Unmatched. The only thing you were mainly different was in pettiness. He had the ability to be much more petty and cruel if needed than you. Until tonight.

Seungkwan was proud of you. Maybe it didn’t look polite but Jeonghan had ripped your heart out, put it through a blender and served it back to you on a silver platter. You owed him nothing. He made his choice when he left you and he is reaping the consequences.

Hoshi and Seungcheol stood on top of the living room table and warned everyone:

“Beer pong tournament starts in 30 minutes. Sign up with your partners now!”

“Keep drinking, warm up, I’ll sign us up. We got this!” Seungkwan tells you immediately.

He was way too excited for this but you understand him and everyone else. It had been far too long since you had all been together, relaxing like this, having fun. And it had been even longer since the beer pong partners had changed.

Usually, you and Jeonghan were always a team. The cheater and the angel who convinces everyone their moves are within regulation due to some unchecked loophole. Shua and Vernon, the americans. Always a team. Always made it to the finals against you and Jeonghan. Seungcheol and Hoshi were always a team. An unlikely one but one that always worked. Seungkwan always forced Woozi to be his partner even though Woozi just wanted to be left alone. Everyone else was pretty okay partnering up with whomever was available and they didn’t put too much effort into fighting everyone for a partner. Mingyu and Wonwoo, Seokmin and Dino, and lastly, Jun and Minghao. They were the good ones. The ones that played for fun only. At least in this game.

This time around, Woozi finally thought he would get some peace but Jeonghan was forced to pick him since obviously you would not be pairing up with him.

You joined everyone around the table and started a conversation with Lily who always got bored watching you guys compete. Well, until Seungcheol started to lose, then she got mad at everyone. It was adorable.

You could overhear Jeonghan trying to convince Woozi to join him and at that moment a voice you did not know breaks you out of focus.

“Hi! I’m Haneul! Jeonghan invited me here tonight. The guys are pretty close, huh? Wanted to see if I could join you girls while they play and maybe find out a few secrets about Jeonghan” she giggled.

Lily looked at you and then back at Haneul.

“Hi, Haneul. I’m Lily. This is Y/N. We met the boys in college. Or, Y/N met some of them in college and then we all got put together into this insane group. How do you know Jeonghan?” She asked her.

She really knew you inside and out. She knew you weren’t going to speak a word to this girl and at the same time, you wanted to know everything about her. You hated it. You hated him. He made you this way. This poor girl had done nothing to you, yet here you were hating everything about her for absolutely no rational reason.

“Oh, from work. I just started at the company and I got assigned to Jeonghan’s team. He’s such a great guy--”

You walked away. Nope. Not tonight. You worked hard to get over him. You knew this would be a reality one day. Sure, you thought it would happen much later but you have to face it now. He’s here with someone he thinks is worthy of him and that he clearly wants to have a serious relationship with. He never brings anyone around the boys unless he means it. And she was so perfect for him. Your complete opposite.

You want to vomit. You hate this. You hate it here. How are you supposed to play a game and have fun when this is happening? It was way too soon. You shouldn’t be here, you knew. You knew this was a mistake. You started thinking of ways out. Trying to find a way to sneak out, turn off your phone and hope in the morning, the boys feel forgiving.

“Stop trying to figure out a way to sneak out” Seungcheol spoke beside you.

“How did you know?” you asked him, sounding sad.

“Because if I were you, I’d be thinking about the exact same thing” he answered and put his arm around you to comfort you.

“I missed you, Cheolie” you said, resting your head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of your head and asked “Is that why we barely spoke these last few months?”

��Not you too, Cheolie…” you said as you moved away from him.

“Come on, you know we have to. You disappeared. You both said your… ‘situation’ wasn’t going to change anything but it changed everything. You both deserve the shit you’re being handed by all of us” he said as he sipped his beer.

“So you’re giving him shit, too?” you asked, also sipping your drink.

“Oh he’s got it so much worse than you, Y/N. You have no idea the kind of pain we unleash on him on a daily basis” he said and smiled at you.

You knew he meant it too.

“Good. He’s earned it” you said and you both laughed.

“LET US BEGIN!” Hoshi yelled at the top of his lungs.

He jump scared everyone in the room and Seungkwan was ready for murder. Poor Mingyu had to hold him back from Hoshi as Hoshi ran off laughing as loudly as possible.

‘Some things never change’ you thought to yourself.

The tournament started and everything was going well. You were distracted and having fun, finally. And Seungkwan never left your side. Well… that’s not entirely true, but every time he did, he made sure one of the boys was there to prevent you from running away.

You and Seungkwan had made it to the Semi-finals. A place Seungkwan had never been in all of these tournaments. He always blamed the cheaters but now here you were. And you were going to face Jeonghan and Woozi in the semi-finals.

Of course. You looked up and sighed. The universe really enjoys watching you suffer. It’s like it knows how much you love competitive Jeonghan and has decided to torture you even more. Because it’s not enough he looks that good and it wasn’t enough when he walked towards you with a little girlfriend behind him, no. That wasn’t enough. You needed to suffer more.

Seungkwan grabs you by the shoulders and makes you stare at him.

“A little creepy, don’t ya think?” you asked him and laughed.

“Stop laughing. Look at him. I want you to put your pain to use” he said, and almost growled at you.

“Excuse me?” you asked, but you knew what he was going to say next.

“He brought a girl here. Look at her. Very cute. Just his type, isn’t she? And, he barely tried speaking to you. Get angry, let’s destroy him” he told you while staring at you.

“Seriously, Seungkwan? That’s low” you said.

“You know what’s low? Knowing you were coming and bringing her. Use it. I need this win, Y/N and so do you” he said as he let go of your shoulders and started focusing on your adversaries.

You get what Seungkwan is doing and you know if you were Sengkwan you would be able to channel all of that energy and anger towards winning, but you’re not Seungkwan. This is where your personalities diverge completely. Right now, all of those thoughts, everything that has happened tonight… You are trying your hardest to just not cry. Do. Not. Cry.

Long story short. You lost. Bad. You sucked. Bad. And you wanted out. Bad.

As soon as the final shot sinks and the match ends, you get out of that living room and you go hide.

You need to breathe, you can’t breathe there. You’re suffocating.

You don’t know how long you stay in the guest bathroom. You’re on the floor, tears running down your face and your breathing has finally started to stabilize. ‘You’re fine. You’re okay. You’ll be fine’ you kept telling yourself over and over.

You get up, clean your face, take one last look in the mirror and try to make yourself look presentable. You needed to leave this party. This was too much, too soon. The boys would have to understand.

You leave the bathroom and as you’re about to leave the guest bedroom, he spoke up behind the bathroom door.

“Not even a hello, love?”

Your heart started beating so loudly, you started shaking. How dare he? How dare he do this to you? You looked back at him over your shoulder and said:

“Don’t make the wrong choices and expect no consequences, Jeonghan. You shouldn’t keep Haneul waiting.”

And you left.

You left. This time, you had the power. You closed the door behind you and you started getting ready to leave. Some of the boys ran over to you.

“I had fun, I did. But I have to go, okay? I’m sorry Soonyoung. And congrats to you boys, you deserve this. You worked too hard so kill it, okay?” you said with a weak smile on your face looking between Hoshi, Jun, Minghao and baby Dino.

They all gave you a huge group hug and let you leave.

You got home and you cried yourself to sleep, again.

You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry for him anymore, no matter what. But here you are. In bed, crying.

You wonder if you even understand Jeonghan at all. If you ever did. He left, didn’t try to contact you but tried to speak to you when you first walked in the party. Brought a new girl to the party he knew you would finally be at and pretended to sulk when you didn't answer his greeting.

You have no idea what he wants. You never did. But it doesn’t matter. Not anymore.

In a way, now you can heal. You saw him with someone else, the worst possible scenario in your head and you survived. Barely. But you did. You’ll learn to navigate these feelings and you’ll get better at forgetting him.

Tonight was difficult but tomorrow will be better.

It had been two weeks since the party. You had been busy and hadn’t had time to think much more about it. And, you also didn’t want to think about it or talk about it at all.

So, you may have been ignoring the texts the boys sent and even Lily. You just didn’t have the energy at this point. You were still drained and trying to find your bearings.

You knew this wouldn’t last much longer. They were very persistent when they had to be and when they wanted to be.

Today you decided to have lunch delivered and eat in your office. It was one of the days you needed to be in the office and you were already drained. You didn’t expect any visitors, especially at lunch time but there’s a knock at your door.

“Who is it?” you asked from your desk, pausing your Youtube video.

Lily doesn’t even reply and just opens your office door and comes right in.

“Well, hello there. Why did you knock if you’re just gonna make yourself at home either way?” you asked her playfully.

“I’m mad at you. This is the silent treatment, in case you’ve forgotten what that feels like” she said as she crossed her arms.

“Not much of a silent treatment if you stalk me all the way here AND speak to me or is it?” you asked again.

“You’re unbelievable you know that, Y/N? We barely speak or see you for 6 months, you show up to one party, leave abruptly in the middle of it and start to ignore us again and you still think this is a joke? Keep pushing us away like this and one day none of us are going to push back anymore” she said and your smile fell from your face.

“I’m sorry, Lil. Jeonghan caught me alone at the party and… I had to leave after that. I couldn’t be there anymore. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t ready to see him yet and definitely not ready to see him with someone else so quickly after our falling out” you said honestly.

Lily sighed and smiled sadly at you.

“Let’s talk about it? You haven’t talked to anyone about it since the falling out. I really think it’s time you share your burden with someone. You can’t keep carrying this alone. It’s going to keep suffocating you. Let it out with me, yeah? Tomorrow? I can come over, we can spend the day together, talking and binge eating and drinking. Like the old days. Let me be your friend, Y/N”

“Deal” was all you said but it was enough to make Lily smile more brightly.

She hugged you and said her goodbyes and your day continued.

Maybe she was right. You had not talked about it with anyone. Maybe you’ve healed as much as you can on your own. You need support. You need your friends.

The next day you woke up and you were excited. You hadn’t spent a full day with Lily like this in a very long time. You missed this so much.

You went out for a quick grocery run to get all her favorite snacks and drinks and some other additions you needed for your home and you decided since you weren’t going to bring too much back that you would walk to the store. You could use the fresh air.

As you were walking there, you kept thinking about what Seungkwan had said before. He knew you had blocked Jeonghan but how? You hadn’t told anyone and sure, it could be an obvious assumption, but he knew. With certainty.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of Jeonghan having tried to contact you after that night and finding out he was blocked. How did that make him feel? Why did he tell Seungkwan? And did he try to contact you more times after that? How many more times?

‘Why do I care? Why am I torturing myself?’ you asked yourself. But you know why. Deep down (maybe not that deep down) you wanted him to try to contact you. You wanted him to feel like shit when he realized you blocked him, and you wanted him to keep trying to contact you.

You just wanted him.

How pathetic is that? He keeps hurting you and you keep wanting him. Always.

After you got home and prepared everything for Lily’s visit, you sat on your kitchen counter staring at your phone next to you.

‘Don’t do it. Don’t do it. I shouldn’t do it. This is a fucking bad idea. Stop being weak. Don’t do it’ you kept telling yourself over and over again. As you were about to do something very stupid, your doorbell rings and you thank all the heavens and Gods above.

You opened the door and a very excited and happy Lily barged in.

“Did you miss me? How long has it been since we did this? Feels like forever…” she said as she started taking out her blankets and pillows and setting up your living room for a proper girls day.

“I want to unblock Jeonghan. Is that stupid?” you asked abruptly and so quickly that Lily thought she misheard you.

Lily slowly turned around and looked at you with an eyebrow raised.

“Why?” she asked.

“I just… Seungkwan mentioned before that he knew I had blocked Jeonghan and I thought that was weird because I didn’t tell anyone anything and it got me thinking that yeah, I know, he could’ve made that comment based on an assumption but you know Seungkwan, he doesn’t say or do things he is not certain of and that made me wonder if Jeonghan had tried to contact me after that night and if he did, what did he want to say and how did he feel after being blocked by me” you said all in one breath and so fast that Lily almost laughed at you.

“Easy there, we have all day, no need to say things in one breath like that. Don’t want you passing out on me” she said, now laughing out loud.

“Sorry… So… Is it stupid?” you asked her again.

“Of course not. What you two shared… I know we never talked about it but I actually saw myself and Seungcheol a lot in you two but you know, in a completely dysfunctional and delusional way of pretending you didn’t love each other” she said as she laughed lowly and you sat down on your couch.

“Look… I don’t know what he wanted to say but I can confirm he has tried to contact you after that night. Several times actually. Seungcheol told me. I’m assuming he told Seungcheol, Seungkwan and probably Vernon and Shua. He knows they would be his best bet at convincing you to unblock him but none of them wanted to help, I guess. At least Seungcheol didn’t.” she said and you looked down.

“I know he fucked up. But… and don’t hate me for saying this… You did too. And I think you know that. Sure, he fucked up in a much more serious and permanent way but you two just kept hurting each other for years. It’s always been so complicated when it should’ve been easy.” she continued.

“I also know the Y/N I know is a very forgiving person and has always given people second chances. Not saying you should forgive him just like that. But maybe you can hear him out. He clearly wants to talk to you about it and you clearly miss him and want to know what he has to say. Just because you give him a chance to explain, does not mean you will forgive him and want him back in your life.”

She finished her speech and you looked at her with tears in your eyes.

“How long have you been holding that in?” you asked and laughed.

“6 whole months actually. Seungcheol kept stopping me from saying anything and he kept saying you were too angry. Not ready to hear it just yet” she said and was crying with you now.

You both looked insane. Crying and laughing at the same time, holding each others’ hands but this was exactly what you needed.

“I hate it when he’s right” you said and laughed.

“Oh, same. And he is always right. The boys were all on your side, you know? Always giving Jeonghan shit.” she added.

“I bet… Seungcheol told me that at the party too” you told her.

“So… Unblock him. Don’t tell anyone. I won’t either. And we’ll see if he tries to contact you again or not” she told you and moved to turn on the TV.

“To be fair, it’s been 6 months. Not sure he would keep trying for that long” you told her as you started to open some of the snacks and drinks.

“Don’t say that. I know for a fact he kept trying and hoping you had unblocked him so he’ll definitely try again” she said as she started helping you with the snacks.

You nodded and… Unblocked him. You did it. It felt weird. You wanted him to reach out but you were also scared of what he would say if he did. And, if you were being honest, you were still so angry at him for leaving you. So you’ll know that if you decide to hear him out, that first conversation is not going to be pretty no matter what he has to tell you.

The rest of the day went by fast. You talked and vented to Lily about everything. Just like you did with Jeonghan on that day. You had told her everything, you had cried together and laughed and after all of it, you just watched a few episodes of a show and before you knew it she had to leave.

You said your goodbyes and promised each other you would do this way more often.

You felt happy when she left. Lighter. You cleaned most things up and decided to go to bed early. You were feeling tired. You were feeling as if today you were finally going to get some real sleep. Lily was right. You needed this. You needed to vent and share your burden and now that you had, you felt relieved.

You wanted to take full advantage of this opportunity. You turned all your notifications off, did your nighttime beauty routine and went to sleep. You fell asleep so fast and you slept like a baby. At last.

Sunday morning you woke up so well rested and a bit confused from sleeping so much. You honestly don’t remember the last time you woke up after 11AM and it felt great. You stretched, yawned, opened your blinds and smiled.

Wow, you really did feel so much better after being and talking with Lily. It helped with some of the pain and she was right. You didn’t know if you would give Jeonghan a chance to explain himself yet but if you did, that did not mean that you were going to forgive him and that your lives would again intertwine.

After showering and cooking breakfast, you went to your dinner table facing your window to eat and you remembered you had turned off your notifications for the night so you went back to your room to pick up your phone and turn them back on.

You started eating and checking your notifications when you receive a notification you didn’t think you’d receive this soon.

It was a text from Jeonghan. Apparently sent late last night.

“I know I haven’t texted you since before the party. I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry isn’t enough. I wanted to give you time but these weeks have been shitty. I’m miserable. I wish you could read my messages and see how much I’ve been suffering without you. I keep texting you pretending that you read them. How pathetic am I? Doesn’t matter. I’ll keep being pathetic until the day you give me a chance to explain everything. I miss you terribly, love”

You kept reading it over and over again. You didn’t know what to do. This is not something you can do over text. This also is starting to seem like a very bad idea at this moment. You know he probably saw the message was delivered, unlike his previous ones.

Jeonghan is very much feeling like you. Confused. Not quite sure what to do. Send another text? No. Not over text. Call you? Maybe it’s too soon, maybe he should wait to see if you reply at all and then try to call you. A voice message? Hmm, not ideal but it would give him a better platform to at least try to convince you to meet with him and let him explain everything.

A voice message it is. But it can’t be any voice message, he decided. He needed to write down everything he needed to say in this message. He needed to be clear and straight to the point. Just like you always have been.

After hours of writing points down and recording himself and hearing it back, he decided to just go for it. No matter what, it won’t be perfect. But it’s all he’s got. He has this chance and he can’t afford to waste it. He can’t afford you blocking him again and not being able to get his second chance.

You spent hours trying to avoid staring at your phone. You cleaned your whole apartment and decided to play some games to distract yourself. ‘You don’t have to respond. If he means it, he’ll reach out again. Be patient, Y/N’ you told yourself.

And sure enough, your phone dings a text notification. You’re so nervous. It’s just a text and you’re so nervous. You look down at your phone. It’s a voice message. No. You can’t hear his voice. Why does he know you so well?

You wanted to wait to open it. You really did. But you couldn’t. You reached down and listened to it.

“Hi, love… I… I don’t really know how to start. I can’t believe you unblocked me. And, don’t worry. I know this doesn’t mean that you’ll hear me out or forgive me but you know I have to try, right? Maybe you don’t. I know you’ve been feeling like you never mattered to me. Like you were never worthy of me. And it’s all my fault. In all these years, I’ve been so blind and I’ve hurt you so much. I wanted to beg you for a second chance but… This isn’t my second chance. It’s not even my third. I’ve hurt you more times than I can keep count and you have given me multiple chances to redeem myself and I always disappointed you. I kept asking myself, if I were you, would I forgive me? Would I give me another chance? How many chances are too many chances? How many times will you forgive me before I learn? Truth is, if I were you, I would be done. Completely. I’m sending you this on the very slim hope that you are better than me and that you will at least let me explain everything. Even if after you hear it, you won’t forgive me. Please… Let me explain myself. Meet with me, one last time, love.”

He was crying for most of his message. You could hear it and it was tearing you apart.

Part of you wanted to meet with him but the other part of you was still so mad. Could he just beg and cry and get away with everything? You deserve better than all of this, you know that now. You’re not sure what to do. You needed to weigh your options.

You sent him a simple text: “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. Please, don’t message me anymore. I’ll reach back out when I have an answer.”

He liked your message and added nothing else. Jeonghan knows you well and he knows to respect your boundaries, always.

You spent the next few days thinking it over. You kept remembering Lily’s words. Listening to him does not mean you will forgive him and it might even help you with closing this chapter in your life, if that’s the final choice you’ll make.

But somehow, every time you tried to message him and tell them that yes, you will hear him out, you couldn't pull that trigger. You were scared. You couldn’t pinpoint what was holding you back.

You decided to call Lily. She would help you, she would know what to say to help you through this.

She picked up after a few rings.

“Hey! How have you been? How’s the… situation we talked about Saturday?” she asked and you could hear some background noise and echo.

“Am I on speakerphone, Lil?” you asked back.

“Yes, I’m cooking dinner and Seungcheol answered it for me. Is this not a speakerphone conversation?” she asked you and you replied right away.

“Actually, if Cheolie is there and wants to give his input, I would appreciate it. I’m… confused? I don’t even know the right word to describe what I’m feeling right now…” you replied and you immediately got an answer from the other side of the phone.

“I’m here. Tell us” he said, straight to the point. You too had always had that in common. Cut through the bullshit and get to the point.

“Well, Saturday after me and Lily spoke, I decided to unblock Jeonghan. I just… Wanted to know if he tried to reach out and if he would again and he did. That same night actually. Long story short he sent me a text and a voice message begging me to meet up with him and let him at least explain. He said a lot of things… I don’t know how to feel about them? I told him I would think about it and I thought about it. A lot. I want to hear him out but every time I go to message him the fear and hurt resurfaces again and I just… Can’t… I mean… Does this mean I shouldn’t listen to him? I need help…” you said and waited for a response.

“You should hear him out” Seungcheol said simply.

You didn’t know what to say so he continued.

“What’s the worst that can happen? You fight? Good. You need to fight. You both need to tell each other everything you’ve been holding inside since you met. You need to scream at each other and understand how annoyingly frustrating you both are. And if after that fight you decide it’s not worth it, you’ve given him too many chances, then you’ll know and you’ll be able to finally get closure and truly move on. Let’s face it, Y/N. You won’t fully move on until you get your answers. All of them.”

“I really do hate it when you’re right…” you said and the three of you chucked.

“But I’m always right, Y/N. Meet up with him and come running here if you need to” he told you.

After you hung up with them, you decided you needed to rest. You had a migraine. Tomorrow will be a new day and tomorrow you’ll let him know.

The next morning you decided to call Jeonghan before starting work. You knew his schedule and you knew he would be up. You couldn’t do this through text and you won’t.

He picked up immediately.

“Hello, love. Good morning. Did you sleep well?” he sounded the same. Asked the same questions he used to before. It felt familiar and nice.

“Hi, Jeonghan. Good morning. Yes, I did, thank you. I hope you did too. Look, I’ve decided to hear you out. I don’t want to talk through the phone or in a public place. I have a feeling this conversation will be… difficult to say the least for the both of us. Can I come over after work this week or is the weekend better for you?” you asked him.

“Tonight. Come over tonight, please.” he said without any hesitation.

“Okay… Tonight it is. I’m working from home so I should be done at 6PM. I’ll be there by 7” you stated plainly.

“Okay, love. I’ll be waiting” he said and he sounded as if he were smiling. It made you want to smile as well but you didn’t.

“See you then, Jeonghan” you said and hung up.

You weren’t ready to see and speak to him but were you ever going to be?

Tonight, everything will be out in the open. Finally. You will both put all our cards on the table. No more secrets. No more hiding. And then, you can both decide how to move forward. Together or separate.

6PM comes quicker than you anticipated and it’s time to get ready and meet with him.

You got to his apartment and the nerves started kicking in. ‘You got this’ you told yourself right before you rang the doorbell.

He must have been right by the door because the door flew open almost right after you rang the doorbell.

“Hi, love. Come in, please” he said and gave you room to walk towards the living room. He sounded nervous. He looked nervous too. It made you feel good to know you weren’t alone in this.

You walked in the living room. It was clear he prepared for your arrival. The room smelled like the candle you loved and kept buying for him so he would always have it when you came over. The lights were dimmed and he had put music on in the background. He had water and snacks on the coffee table and your pictures together were still up and visible to anyone who walked in his house.

Fuck, you missed him so much. You want to stay strong but you are already feeling so weak.

You sat on the couch, turned your phone off and looked up at him with raised eyebrows, silently asking him ‘What are you waiting for?’.

He sat on the couch with you, turned his phone off and started speaking.

“I love you. And no, I don’t mean in a ‘best friends’ type of way. I’m in love with you. And yes, I am fully aware those are the exact same words you said to me 6 months ago. And you should know I’ve wanted to say these words back to you ever since that night. I’ve always loved you. Since the very beginning. I have been trying to figure out why I didn’t see it or why I kept telling myself that I didn’t love you like that but honestly, I don’t know why I did it. I know I’ve always been afraid to lose you. To have you look at me with disappointment in your eyes. But before that night, I told myself we were just friends and were always going to be just friends. I had convinced myself of that fact and I don’t understand why.” he said with tears in his eyes now.

“Fuck, I know what a cliché it is to only realize what I have in front of me once I lose it, trust me. But the night I left, I remember thinking how happy I had always been with you, around you, in your presence. How lost I was before you walked into my life and it all made so much fucking sense. You and I made sense.” he continued.

You were staring in his eyes and it was your turn now to turn your poker face on.

“Only after I met you did I set up all these rules about my dating life. No one was ever worthy of dating me simply because they weren’t you. I kept making these excuses… To myself, to everyone around me. But I was just too stupid to see that I was making these rules in hopes of finding someone like you. Because I’ve always known since I met you, Y/N, that I’m the one that is and never was worthy of being with you. But if there’s anything I have learned in all the years we’ve known each other is that there’s absolutely no one like you, not for me” he continued.

“I wanted you for so long that when I saw the chance of having you, I took it. No hesitation. I don’t regret that first night and never will. What I will regret is never having kissed you that night and the conversation that took place after it all happened. What I said, the way I acted. Like you were just another ‘fuck-buddy’. I will never forgive myself for that and I don’t expect you to either” he said as tears kept flowing down his face.

He never wavered and kept looking at you while he finished up his speech.

“I know I don’t deserve another chance. I don’t deserve forgiveness. But I still had to ask. I had to try. I love you and I am begging you to give me another chance. At everything. Being your best-friend, your lover, your partner. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me” and he was done.

The only sounds in the room were the sounds of you both crying. Why did he only decide to tell you all of this now? Why was life so unfair? You don’t know if this is enough. His words are beautiful but they always have been. You needed more. Much more.

And your anger starts winning over your forgiving side. You still have a lot to tell him before you even make a decision about this. He needs to hear how much he has hurt you.

“Am I just supposed to be moved by this and forget all these years? Forget all the words you’ve said to me, all the little comments and jokes you made about me not being your type and not even being close to what you wanted?” you asked him.

“You know me well, Yoon Jeonghan, which means you know my memory never fails me. I remember every single cruel thing you said and smirked about. I remember the restaurant you never took me to no matter how many times I begged you to because ‘That is way too romantic for us, love’. And you want me to believe that after you’ve said all of these things you went home and felt bad about it?” you were getting angrier and angrier.

“You don’t love me. And you didn’t love me back then either. You love the way I make you feel. You love how desperate and pathetic I am and always have been for you. You love that I worship the ground you walk on. You love the feeling of having someone willing to do anything for you, willing to sacrifice their own beliefs and self-esteem to get even a small portion of your attention. You love having someone beg you to take them out, begging you to see them. You love all of these things and anytime someone gave that to you, you stayed” you were getting harsher now.

“That’s how you found your ‘fuck-buddies’. You always chose the most desperate ones because you always loved the way it made you feel about yourself. That’s why you kept me around. You kept all of us around for different feelings. We were all desperate for you, yes. But their job was to keep you satisfied sexually, while mine was purely emotional. It wasn’t love. Not for them and not for me.”

You said and started getting up from the couch and collecting your things.

“I was never different from them. Not in the core of the matter. In the end, we all got hurt and you always left, unburdened and ready for your next fling to satisfy your ego” you said as you began to walk towards the apartment door.

You looked over your shoulder and told him: “I don’t know if I can forgive you. I know I don’t believe you. I wish I did. I really do. But my memories of every little thing you did over the years that hurt me are keeping me from letting go. I’m glad we both got to say what we always needed to say to each other. I’m not sure we’ll see each other again, but if we don’t, we can at least have closure now. Goodbye, Jeonghan.”

You got home that night and you were just… Numb. You couldn’t cry anymore. You didn’t want to scream. You just sat on your couch, staring at your wall, not knowing what to do and how to move on from this. From him.

You fell asleep on your couch that night and woke up the next day feeling even worse.

You reached out to both Lily and Seungcheol and they were very supportive but they also made sure you knew they weren’t going to advise you any further. The next decision was entirely up to you.

The next week went by so slowly. You still felt like shit and it seemed to only get worse each day.

It may sound stupid but you missed him. You had just seen him. You had a bad fight. Yet, you missed him.

You went to your closet and took out the box of pictures you had hidden there. You started looking over each one of them. All of them were attached to such great memories. Memories of days together, nights together, vacations together. You were always smiling brightly. You remember all those feelings. Everything he had made you feel when you were together.

You started to regret some of the things you said last time you saw him. He cared for you deeply. You could tell from the pictures and from all the good memories you had. He always protected you and made sure you felt safe and warm. Your friendship was nothing like the flings he had. You went too far. You wanted to hurt him but you weren’t fair in your accusations.

You’re pretty sure that’s why you feel like shit. You thought saying these things to him and hurting him would make you feel better. It would leave you satisfied knowing he was hurting like you did all those times. But it didn’t. It made you feel so much worse than before.

You fucked up and now it was your turn to fix it. You knew if you went back there, it would mean you would forgive him. Were you ready for that? Was that what you wanted?

You dropped the pictures, grabbed your keys and left.

You were standing in front of his door wondering if you should ring the doorbell. He might be busy. He might not even be home. You didn’t even know what you were going to say. Fuck, this was a terrible idea. You need to leave. Now. Go home. Regroup and come back with a plan.

The door opened and a tired Jeonghan was staring at you, blinking in confusion with his jacket halfway on his body.

“Hmm… Hi… I wanted to talk to you. I should’ve called or texted before. Sorry. I should leave. Sorry” you were shaking and started to leave but he grabbed your elbow and stopped you from moving.

“No. Stay. I’m not busy. Talk to me. Please” he asked you.

“You were leaving though… I feel bad… I--”

“I was out of whiskey. Was going to buy more. It doesn’t matter. Stay. Come in. Talk. Please, love” he interrupted you and he never let go of your arm.

“O..Okay. Yeah. Okay” you nodded and went inside his apartment.

He took off both his jacket and shoes and you did the same. You looked around. The house was messy. Very unusual. Jeonghan was a creature of habits and he hated messiness. This was your fault.

You decided to be blunt again.

“Did you mean it? What you said last week? All of it?” you asked him nervously.

“Yes. Every word. I know it’s hard to believe but I meant every fucking word” he responded just as bluntly.

“What about Haneul? You brought her around the boys… To the party…”

You hated that you asked but you had to know everything before giving him a permanent answer.

“She invited herself. Pretty much blindsided me into joining us. She’s been following me around the company. I’ve made myself very clear. I’m not available and it will never happen but she wasn’t backing down. I’ve been really tired. Exhausted, after losing you. I had no strength left in me to fight her. I would just ignore her until she gets the message. Not my finest moment but I couldn’t care less” he said plainly.

You nodded and started getting really nervous. You gulped and asked him your final question.

“I was an asshole last week. I’m sorry. I said a lot of things that weren’t fair. I wanted to hurt you. I regret most of it. After all I said, do you still want me? Want us? Want to spend the rest of your life making it up to me?”

“That’s all I want. I want all of it. I deserved your words. I deserved to be hurt. I should be the one apologizing. But fuck yeah. If you give me that chance, this last chance, I will never let you go again” he said as he walked closer to you until he was so close you could feel his breath on your lips.

You looked up at him.

“Deal. I want to forgive you. I want to move forward with you. With us. But I have a few rules…”

He looked in your eyes and started to smirk. You were giving him a taste of his own medicine. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy but he would do everything to earn you back.

You moved away from him and started to put your shoes and jacket on, getting ready to leave.

“No sex. Not in the beginning. I want romance. Lots of dates. We have similar tastes and you know me better than anyone. Choose wisely” he laughed and nodded along.

“Kissing is very much allowed and encouraged. This is obviously an exclusive relationship and I am to be called and to be treated as your girlfriend, always” he kept smiling and was starting to tear up. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

“Anything else, princess?” he asked.

“No princess. I like baby much better. Or angel. Other than that, no other rules. For now” you answered him. And before you left, you walked towards him, intertwined your hands and asked him sincerely:

“I missed you, Hannie. Don’t make me regret this, okay?”

“Never, baby. You’re mine now. I missed you so much, too. Let me take you out tomorrow, yeah? First date?” he asked back.

“I can’t tomorrow. Friday I’m free. Pick me up after work?”

“I’ll be there, baby” he said and you turned to leave.

Right before you left he told you “I’ll be texting you. Don’t ignore your boyfriend, baby. He’s very needy”

You laughed as you nodded and left his apartment.

You got home that night and you couldn’t sleep. You were so happy. Is this even real? This wasn’t a dream, right? And as you were having these thoughts, Jeonghan texted you just as he promised right before you left his apartment.

Next thing you knew, a month flew by. Your first month together as a couple.

So far he’s kept all his promises. He was the one worshiping you now. He always texted or called to make sure you were safe and happy. He took you out on multiple dates a week and always made you feel like you were the only two people in the whole world.

On your first date he took you to the restaurant down the street from his place that you always wanted to go. You had a feeling he was going to pick that place and you made fun of him for it but he kept saying ‘I told you, baby. From now on, I will do everything to earn your forgiveness and love. Clichés and all’.

After your first date, he took you home and kissed you so gently by the door.

You never thought you would feel this way. You felt complete. The happiest you had ever been.

During this month together, he never made any additional moves on you.

You had kissed. A lot.

Made out like teenagers. A lot.

But he always stopped it and ended your date there.

You knew you asked for this in the beginning as one of your rules but you couldn’t take it anymore.

You needed him. You knew you had to be the one to make the move or show that you are ready. Otherwise, he will keep respecting your boundaries no matter how hard you want him to disrespect them.

Today you met up with Lily for lunch. The guys and Lily had barely seen the two of you. You only had time and eyes for each other and everyone was letting you two enjoy this new relationship without any interruptions.

“You are glowing, you know that, Y/N?” she asked as she ate.

You laughed and told her “I’m just so fucking happy. I never thought this would happen. He’s been so amazing. And it doesn’t feel different. I mean, our friendship. We’re still infuriating with each other but now we just have the added benefit of kissing to shut each other up.”

“And fucking” she said loudly and you hushed her while you two giggled.

“We’re in public, asshole. And about the fucking…” you said.

“Nothing yet? I gotta give it to him. Never thought he would be able to last this long without making a move. Good for him” she said and kept giggling.

“Good for him? I am dying here, woman. I’ve tried everything. All my moves, all the signs and he just won’t do anything” you whispered.

“It’s your fault. You made it a ‘rule’. You should know that not only would he take this seriously, but he would also use this to torture you for as long as he could. Possibly until you begged him to fuck you” she said again way too loudly in this very public restaurant.

You looked around after shushing her and you realized what she just said. Oh my god. He’s doing this on purpose. Of course. You should’ve known better. You gave him a challenge and he was punishing you for it, the little shit.

“I love that you are only realizing this now” she said and kept laughing.

“Shut up and finish your food” you bit back at her.

You had a date tonight with Jeonghan. You had offered to cook for the both of you. More of an intimate date. And you were going in for the kill tonight. You were done waiting but you were also going to have some fun with him.

You had this pink dress in your closet that you bought almost a year ago. You were saving it for a really good date or so you kept telling everyone. And we’re here now.

Pink is not your usual pick but this dress is a killer. And an added bonus: Jeonghan loves seeing you in pink. This dress is just short enough. Obscene cleavage. A bit corseted. Enough to let your natural curves speak for themselves.

Underneath the dress, the smallest thong was covering your pussy and of course, no bra.

You had covered your body in the watermelon body lotion he loved smelling on you. Very little makeup and hair down. Just how he liked it on you.

Everything was ready and waiting for him. Food was ready and in the oven. You had set the mood with the candles, lighting and music in the living room and dining room and your bedroom was certainly refreshed and ready to greet him.

When you opened the door and he had the chance to see you. You knew you made all the right choices tonight. He stared you up and down and gulped.

“Like what you see, Hannie?” you asked and walked away from him towards your kitchen.

He came up behind you before you could reach the kitchen counter, turned you around and kissed you. Deeply. Full of passion. Until you were both out of breath. He started touching the bottom part of your dress with his fingertips very lightly.

“‘You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, baby. Why haven’t I seen this dress before?” he asked.

“Well… You weren’t exactly the best boy to me for a while. But now… Now you deserve to see it. All for yourself, too” you said, still panting and recovering from the kiss.

And in a very Jeonghan fashion, he completely surprises you with his next question.

“Has anyone else seen you in this dress, baby? On a date? Who have you worn this for before me, hmm?”

You smiled and whispered in his ear: “No one else but you.”

He almost growled at you and started leaning in again to kiss you. He had that look in his eyes you knew all too well and you moved away from him.

“We should eat. Food is getting cold, Hannie” you said and moved towards the oven.

He stared and narrowed his eyes at you but he knew what you were playing at. He knew you too well. Let’s see who has the most self-control tonight, then.

You had a great meal. He complimented your cooking as usual and kept holding your hand every time he saw the opportunity to.

Everything was perfect.

You two started cleaning up after eating and you kept talking about everything that was going on in your lives.

Everything was always so easy between the two of you.

You both sat on the couch and decided to watch a movie together. He was very touchy during the whole movie. His hand was moving higher and higher up your thigh and every time he moved it higher, he sighed, almost moaned.

You were so fucking wet and he had barely done anything. Tonight had to be the night, right? ‘He wasn’t that evil’ you thought.

When the movie ended and his hand was almost completely underneath your dress, he moved closer to you, leaned in, held your chin in his hands and started to whisper against your lips.

“I should go, it’s getting late”

He laughed after watching the disappointment in your eyes, got up and started getting ready to leave.

You also got up and grabbed his jacket to stop him.

“You can’t leave yet” you said shakily.

He hummed.

“Why’s that, baby? Something you want from me?” he asked as he walked back over to you.

Okay, you can say it. It’s fine. Just ask him. Tell him, do anything.

“Ugh… Nevermind. Just… Drive safe, I guess” and you tried handing his jacket back to him.

He licked his lips, ripped the jacket from your hands, threw it on the couch and started walking you backwards towards the living room wall.

Once you were backed up against the wall, he placed both hands on each side of your head.

“Is it so hard to ask to get fucked, hmm? Not like you haven’t done it before. What’s with the pride, baby?” he asked.

You stared at him with uneven breaths but stayed silent.

“You know me, baby. Either ask me what I want to hear or I’ll leave you here against this wall in your probably very small and very wet panties” he said and started kissing down your neck.

“Stay. Fuck me” you said hurrily and barely in a whisper.

“You have to do better than that, baby. Ask me nicely since you’ve been a tease all fucking night” he said and now one of his hands was on your thigh, rubbing circles.

“Please, fuck me, Hannie. Please. I can’t wait anymore. You’re driving me crazy” you begged and he must have liked it because you felt him chuckle against your skin.

He pulled your dress up and slapped your clothed pussy. You moaned.

“Now that wasn’t so hard was it? You’ve wanted me to fuck you for a while now. Was wondering when you were going to start acting like a greedy little slut. My greedy little slut” he told you while he cupped your pussy.

“Hannie…” you moaned.

He moved away from you and started walking to your bedroom. You followed him. He sat on your bed and started unbuttoning his shirt while licking his lips and staring at you.

You stood in front of him.

“Take it all off, baby and come sit on my face” he told you.

You were nervous. You hadn’t done this before. Not with him. But you were also excited.

You took it all off, just as he asked and you started moving closer. He layed back on the bed and beckoned you to join him.

You did. You laid on top of him completely naked and you started kissing each other. His hands were everywhere. You couldn’t get enough of him.

He stopped kissing you and started moving up on the bed to straddle his head and he dove right in. No hesitation. No words. No more waiting. He was eating you out like a starved man. You were holding on to the top of your bed and his hair.

He was being sloppy and loud and moving up and down between your clit and your hole. He spanked you hard and moved one of his hands to your folds. He started fingering you using two fingers while sucking hard on your clit.

You were so fucking close already. This was fucking embarrasing. You start shaking and moving away from his mouth and he spanks you again.

“Don’t fucking move away from me again. Don’t you dare. Don’t be embarrassed and cum. Let go. Cum” he told you then while pushing your hips back down on his mouth.

And as soon as he pushed you back down and continued his movements, you started falling apart and moaning his name so fucking loud.

He didn’t stop then. He kept going.

“Hmm… Sensitive… Can’t… Hannie…” you whined.

“Shhh baby, you can give me more. I know you can. Fucking give it to me. I’m fucking greedy” he started fingering you again, slower this time and started marking your thighs with his mouth until he saw purple marks all over your inner thighs.

You kept moaning and whining and you were getting louder and impatient. He laughed and moved back on your clit.

This time he added a third finger and kept sucking on your clit. It was a mess, you were sure of it. His face, his fingers. You had never felt this wet and this sloppy before and you were getting closer and closer.

With his free hand, he cupped your breast and twisted your nippled between his fingers and you came again with a cry of his name.

You started slumping on the bed while you were still panting and he moved you off of him and laid you on your back.

He started kissing down your neck and taking his clothes off.

When he was fully naked and on top of you, you grabbed his face with both of your hands and you looked in his eyes. You wanted to know what he was thinking. How he was feeling.

“I love you, baby. So fucking much. Let me have you now, yeah?” he asked as he looked into your eyes. Almost as if he knew that you needed that, you needed to hear him say it.

You kissed him again and tangled your hand in his hair.

You both gasped when he started pushing into you and you both moaned when he bottomed out completely.

“Fuck, I missed you so fucking much. This pussy was made for me. I might not last long, baby. It’s been too long since I had you” he whispered in your ear.

“Hmmm, what about since your other ‘fuck-buddies’? How long ago was that?” you asked and he stared in your eyes and got very serious. You hated that you asked it but you need to know the answer.

“I haven’t been with anyone else after you. I thought that was obvious, baby. I want you. I spent all these months wanting you. No one else” he said and started kissing you again.

You stopped kissing him and asked him to start moving and he did.

He held your hips in place with one hand and with the other he intertwined your fingers together and he started pounding into you. No mercy. He was desperate for you and you for him.

“Fuck, Hannie… So good… Feels so fucking good… Don’t stop, please…”

He grunted in response and kept pounding into you.

You were getting closer again and he felt it so he moved the hand that was holding yours to push down on your stomach and kept pounding you hard into the mattress.

“You’re so close aren’t you, baby? I can fucking feel it. You’re squeezing me so hard, baby. Fuck… Let go. Let me feel you”

He leaned his forehead against yours and you came again. This is the loudest you have probably been. You feel shy all of a sudden but you can’t say anything coherent. You’re mostly babbling at this point and he starts laughing at you.

“Don’t tell me I fucked you stupid, baby. Use your words properly, you’re a big girl”

“Hannie… s’good…”

He kept laughing and kissing you and he leaned back to move one of your legs and place it on his shoulder.

He was now squeezing your thigh of the leg on his shoulder with one hand and grabbing your tits with his other hand and he started slowly thrusting into you. So you could feel every vein and every ridge on his cock moving inside of you. This felt like torture but you knew he was delaying his orgasm as much as he could.

“Look at you… My angel… You’re so gorgeous like this under me… Fuck, I’m never letting you go. My good girl… Hmm? Are you my good girl, baby? Answer me”

You started nodding.

“Yes… Yeah… Yours.. Good… Good girl…”

It was your turn now to surprise him. You grabbed his hand that was on your tits and moved it to your neck.

“Fuck, baby… Want me to choke you? Can’t have anything nice, can we? Calling you my good girl and you start acting like a greedy little slut again”

He chuckled and started thrusting into you with much more force and speed. The hand on your neck started squeezing lightly and you started whining and feeling closer and closer to the edge again.

“Gonna cum one last time, hmm? With my hand around your throat like a slut? Yeah… Fuck yeah… Cum with me then, angel”

He leaned down to kiss you and you started cumming again. This time your vision turned white. You thought you were dreaming. This felt surreal.

You kept repeating his name over and over again and when you said ‘I love you’, he finally came inside you with a grunt and a low moan in your ear.

He laid down on top of you as you both recovered and he kept playing with your hair and calling your name.

“Baby… You okay? Was that too much? Come back to me, don’t fall asleep yet, we need to clean up”

You laid with your eyes closed and hummed.

“I’m here, Hannie. Just… Give me a few minutes… I think you broke me” you said and you both started laughing.

“Good broken though?” he asked.

“Fucking amazing broken” you answered and you kept laughing together.

After a few more minutes of laying together in pure bliss, he convinced you to get up and take a shower with him.

He had to hold you up for most of it. You were so tired. He kept poking fun at you and all you could mumble was ‘your fault’ and he started chuckling.

You shared a bed for the first time as a couple that night. You remember feeling like this was supposed to have been happening since the very beginning of your friendship.

You knew you wanted to have him with you here for the rest of your life and all you could do was hope he meant every word he said and that he would want the same with you. It was the best sleep of your life that night.

You woke up the next morning to the sounds of Jeonghan singing to the music he was playing and what sounded like cooking.

Fuck, you were starving. But first, you had to make yourself look presentable. He always looked so good in the morning and you… Well.., you had more of a rough appearance in the morning so you needed a moment to collect yourself before following the sound of his beautiful voice.

You went to the bathroom to do your morning routine and afterwards you joined him in the kitchen.

“Good morning, Hannie. What are you cooking, baby?” you said as you hugged him from behind.

“Hmm… Morning, angel. Just some eggs and sausage. You didn’t have much more”

“Sounds delicious, thank you” you said as you moved to sit on the kitchen counter behind him.

“We have to replace all those photos, baby” he said as he turned around to look at you.

You knew he meant the pictures you had ripped apart and put back together after your falling out.

“I don’t want to. I like them this way. It tells our story. It’s a little broken but in the end it got put back together” you said and smiled at him.

He smiled and turned back to the stove.

“You just want to get our kids on your side and have me as the bad guy, huh?” he asked and you chucked.

“Kids? Getting a bit ahead of ourselves, no? Let’s not make promises we can’t keep. We both have done enough of those” you said and he nodded and laughed.

You felt so happy when he said that but you didn’t want to sound too eager. You knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him but you still were scared that he would regret this eventually and leave you again.

What you didn’t know was that this time, he wasn’t going to let you go anywhere, and he was never going anywhere without you.

He was going to spend the rest of his life by your side, earning back every once of trust and love he lost from you before.

He was okay with you still being guarded. He knew you had nothing to worry about and he would prove it to you. Soon enough he will take out the engagement ring he bought after your first date and he will make sure you stay by each others’ side always.

The ultimate pinky promise.

It’s here guys and it’s a monster 😭 I really hope it lives up to your expectations. I’m still nervous about everything I write! Please let me know in the comments and such if you liked it 💕 Thank you for supporting me! CHEERS 🥂

Taglist (if you requested specifically): @woofie-nctzen-fanarts @lannadray @cvixmei @feat-sun @cvpidxo @yunjinified @shuahasmyheartffs @jjjzzz @starlight-night0 @rendeciu @momoxxchewz @miniseokminnies @meowmeowminnie @sofix-hc7 @aaniag @shinetogether17 @goodforgyu @sharkipoonis

#jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut #seventeen smut #jeonghan #jeonghan fic #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan x you #yoon jeonghan x you #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #svt x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen x reader #yoon jeonghan fic #vee's writings

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lilirari · 1 year ago

Text

🫧 basically just going on different kinds of dates with lando <3

💌 lando norris x fem! reader (social media au)

💭 author's note : i loved making this fr !! i was going to include some writing parts but.. i kinda got lazy 🧍‍♀️ if you guys want the writing part though, i'll work on it and post it. the part two to this + oscar's version is also in the works !

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🧩 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ lego date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 19,444,127 others

yourinstagram lego date with the loml ! he gave me that bouquet of lego flowers in the morning 🥹🤍 last pic is him trying to find that one missing lego piece.

view all 2,234,567 comments

landonorris pretty flowers for my pretty flower ♡

liked by yourinstagram

landonorris ok but did you take that piece 🤨

-> yourinstagram no oscar ate it

-> oscarpiastri i did what

-> landonorris oscar regurgitate my lego piece

-> oscarpiastri I DIDN'T EAT YOUR LEGO PIECE I WASN'T EVEN PRESENT DURING YOUR SILLY LITTLE DATE

charles_leclerc what a fun idea ! 🤍

carlossainz55 😍

lilymhe @/alex_albon where's my lego bouquet 😒

-> alex_albon you can make your own

-> lilymhe wtf

danielricciardo very cute

pierregasly je devrais en faire un pour kika 🥰

-> yourinstagram yes you should 🫡 she'd love it

oscarpiastri i'm surprised he has the attention span to build a whole lego bouquet

-> alex_albon right ???

-> landonorris STFU

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🎡 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ amusement park date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, lnfour and 16,999,345 others

yourinstagram third-wheeled my boyfriend and his boy space friend today. i would've included the video i took of lan screaming while we were on the rollercoaster but i'll have mercy on your ears for the time being 😞

view all 1,999,889 comments

landonorris wdym boy space friend he's literally my boyfriend

-> yourinstagram ... wow ok didn't expect you to come out of the closet this soon 😦📸

-> landonorris sorry love, it's always been max 🫣🤞

-> maxfewtrell .. um yeah no y/n take him away i don't want him

landonorris baby, istg if you show anyone that video...

-> yourinstagram i promise i won't show it to anyone dw pookie 😘

lnfour 🫶🫶🫶

oscarpiastri send me that video of lando

-> yourinstagram i already did

-> oscarpiastri nice

-> landonorris ???

-> landonorris whatever happened to 'i promise i won't show it to anyone' ?

-> yourinstagram ... oops 😅

-> landonorris 😃

riabish aww wish i could've joined you today ☹️

carmenmmundt the cutest couple ! ❤️

alex_albon i desperately need that video

-> yourinstagram sent 🫡

-> landonorris Y/N !!!!

-> yourinstagram oops i gtg🏃‍♀️

quadrant our parents ! (and max)

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🍣 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ sushi date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, yukitsunoda0511 and 17,888,645 others

yourinstagram hey guys i have some news... lando and i have recently separated ways because of the contrast in our interests. i wish him nothing but the worst and i hope all his christmas gifts will be fish related xx

view all 2,000,000 comments

landonorris STOP

landonorris all this because i won't eat sushi for you..

-> yourinstagram if you won't eat sushi for me i don't want you get away !!

-> landonorris ... if i eat One (1) sushi for you will you stop this madness

-> yourinstagram maybe.. maybe not ☺️

-> landonorris baby give me a definite answer

-> yourinstagram ok ok i'll stop if you eat one

-> landonorris .. fine i'm doing this only for you

-> yourinstagram hehe i love u

landonorris guys we're still together don't worry she's just spreading fake news like a LIAR

-> yourinstagram girl spelt backwards it's liar 🤭

carlossainz55 sushi... war flashbacks

-> yourinstagram CARLOS HELDPDHSHDHDH

-> yourinstagram " iT's nEaR a fiSh "

-> yourinstagram i got him to eat an actual sushi though i won

-> carlossainz55 damn you did the impossible it must be true love

yukitsunoda0511 please get back together i'll make fishless sushi for you lando please just get back with y/n 😭

-> yourinstagram OH YUKI NO WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY BROKE UP DON'T WORRY 🥹

-> yukitsunoda0511 oh ok that's good.. please don't worry me like this again

-> yourinstagram yessir i'm sorry 😞🫡

pierregasly not the two of you worrying yuki.. it's on sight 🔫

-> yourinstagram i'm not scared of a hon hon hon baguette frenchie

-> landonorris yeah what she said go water your baguettes or sumn pierre

-> pierregasly i take pride in being a french man you guys are just haters 😒

-> yourinstagram that we are 🫶

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⛳ 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ golf date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, georgerussell63 and 20,349,444 others

yourinstagram once a third wheel, always a third wheel. i need someone to look at me the way carlos looks at my boyfriend 😞

ps the staff handed me that merc golf ball since they're sponsoring this golf course @/mclaren i promise i'm still loyal to you guys

view all 2,555,777 comments

landonorris i already look at you the way carlos looks at me 😞

landonorris baby i love you but was it really necessary to post that picture in the sixth slide 🥲

-> yourinstagram yes it was !! it's like a preview of spiderlando

-> landonorris you and your love for spider-man.. should we dress up as peter and gwen/mj the next halloween ?

-> yourinstagram OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK !! a thousand times yes 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri the replies under lando's comment got me thinking y'all were getting married 🧍

-> yourinstagram i mean that'd be my reaction if he proposed to me anyways

-> landonorris marriage proposal coming up in a few years 😁

carlossainz55 i need someone to look at me the way i look at lando 😭

alex_albon what is he doing in that sixth slide...

-> landonorris that's how pro golfers play, you rookie

mercedesamgf1 you got great choice in golf courses and golf balls, y/n 🤭

mclaren please take y/n to a mclaren sponsored golf course next time @/landonorris ☺️

-> landonorris you got it boss

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🧸 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ babysitting date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, savnorris, maxverstappen1 and 18,839,222 others

yourinstagram babysitting my nephew and little mila with uncle la-la ! feat baby lan (even after all these years, nothing's changed 🥹)

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yourinstagram baby fever went off the charts today

-> danielricciardo when are you and lando going to have a baby 😁

-> landonorris we can make one now if you want, y/n 😏

-> yourinstagram LANDO !! 😭😭 but yeah i can't wait to get married and have children soon...

-> landonorris you'd be the bestest mum 🫶

-> danielricciardo can i be the cool uncle

-> yourinstagram ofc danny no one's as cool as you !!

-> danielricciardo great 😁😁

landonorris i'm the best babysitter in the world

landonorris where did you find that baby picture of me

-> yourinstagram your mum sent it to me 🥹 you were so cute back then

-> landonorris am i not cute now

-> yourinstagram no 🤍

-> landonorris i hate u

-> yourinstagram love u too xx

savnorris thanks for babysitting mila today ! she loves you both so much ! 🫶 (auntie y/n a little bit more 🤭)

-> yourinstagram aww, no need savvy !! i had so much fun babysitting mila she's the cutest :( please call me the next time you need a babysitter i genuinely love spending time with her <3

-> yourinstagram also in your face @/landonorris mila loves me more than u 😝

-> landonorris ... mila how could you betray your uncle la-la 🤭😞

alexandrasaintmleux the matching shoes ☹️❤️

yoursister life savers !! thanks for babysitting kai on such a short notice, sis & lando ! 🤍

-> landonorris anytime (soon to be) sister in law 🫡

oscarpiastri can lily and i babysit them with you guys the next time

-> yourinstagram ofc pastry <3

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 🛏️ 𖦹 ˚. ᵎᵎ nap date ! ⭑

instagram 🎥

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 21,929,345 others

yourinstagram and it's all too much for little lando norris.

view all 3,222,127 comments

landonorris my girlfriend's hotter than all of you

-> yourinstagram my boyfriend's hotter than all of you

landonorris why do you have so many pictures of me sleeping..

-> yourinstagram because you're always falling asleep everywhere

-> landonorris fair point

landonorris come back to bed i wanna cuddle you

-> yourinstagram coming !! 🏃‍♀️

carlossainz55 😴❤️

charles_leclerc silly lando 😆

alex_albon is he really sleeping on the floor 😭

danielricciardo wake up babe new lando sleeping content just dropped

maxfewtrell god he's such a simp for you

oscarpiastri saving these for future purposes (blackmail)

-> landonorris wtf man

mclaren our favourite papaya couple 🧡

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lizard-on-a-window-pane · 2 years ago

Note

Could you write Remus being in a bad mood before the full moon and snapping at everyone, but gets all soft when gf reader is near

thanks for requesting! hope you like it!

pairing: Remus x reader

description: Remus is irritable before the full moon, his senses heightened and his temper short… but one person soothes him even when the rest of the world is anything but soothing.

tags: fluffy fluff, established relationship, gn, wolfstar if you squint, (can you tell how much i love sirius even when i’m not writing a sirius fic? oops)

word count: 1.4k

In the quiet, calm common room, where various groups of students sat lounging or studying, where the crackling fire filled the room with a glowing warmth, Remus Lupin sat with his mind in a frenzy, his emotions on a rollercoaster, his body simultaneously restless and aching. It was the night before the full moon, and in a lifelong string of bad ones, this one was particularly bad. His skin felt electric, his mood even more so.

He was planning to retire to his dorm room as soon as — and he meant as fucking soon as — the assignment sprawled on the table in front of him was finished. It was a partnered project. And it was due tomorrow. James — unlucky enough to be his partner — sat on the floor on the other side of the table, sick of the homework and even more sick of his best mate. His best mate whom he loved… his best mate who’d always be there for him… he kept reminding himself when all he could notice was his best mate who snapped at him every three seconds… his best mate who kept losing his place in the project, prolonging the miserable experience each time.

“I think if we just add the bit here about defensive spells at the end, it should be good enough,” he suggests in desperation. “Didn’t we already go over that part?” Remus shoots. “I know ‘good enough’ is perfectly acceptable when you partner with Padfoot, but I’d rather not let one stupid assignment tank the marks I’ve been working for all bloody term.”

“I’m sitting right here, Moony,” Sirius says from beside him without even looking over, used to Remus’s meanness the days before the transformation.

“Yes, the constant distractions to James’s already fickle attention span are reminder enough of that, thanks.”

“Bloody hell you’re bitchy, Moony,” James defends himself, starting to seriously lose his patience. “You’re the one who keeps getting all jittery and losing his place, mate! We’d’ve finished an hour ago otherwise!”

“I —” Remus starts but doesn’t continue, running his hands through his hair in frustration. After a second, a group of first year girls in a nearby corner starts giddily screaming and laughing, and Remus visibly flinches then looks at them murderously. “Fucking hell, have they never heard of ‘inside voices’? Nothing they could’ve just said could possibly that exciting.”

“Alright, moody,” Sirius, more adept at dealing with Remus’s moods than James, finally turns to him. “How about you stop staring daggers at the happy children and focus on your shit so you two can finally finish?” “But they’re so bloody loud,” Remus complains, his senses on overdrive driving him mad. He rolls his eyes at them, and when they let out another fit of loud giggling, his expression suggests he’s considering going over to ask them —politely, he surely thinks — to keep it down. Sirius chuckles but smacks Remus with a cushion to distract him before he inadvertently makes a group of little girls cry. Better Remus takes it out on him and James than strangers, he thinks. Remus not so gently shoves Sirius in response. “What the hell, Pads?! I feel like my skin is on fucking fire, and you, you what? want a pillow fight? Why is everyone behaving like eleven year old girls?” “Well,” Sirius responds with utter calm, “They’re acting like eleven year old girls because they are, Moons. I’m acting like an eleven year old girl because being giddy with your mates transcends age and gender, and you… well, you’re acting like an eleven year old girl because it’s your time of the month, darling.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“No, you are. But we’ll suffer you anyway, right Prongs?”

James grunts and gives a half-hearted, “yeah, yeah.” Remus rolls his eyes but cools off a bit. He goes back to the assignment for a few minutes.

“Pads, no offense, mate, but can you go sit over there?” he asks, nodding at the armchair next to the sofa.

“Rude.” “It’s just… you’re… you’re really hot,” Remus says, his voice tinged with something like embarrassment. Sirius gasps and brings his hand to his chest in mock-scandal.

“Moony! I didn’t know you felt this way about me.” He laughs. In a whisper, he jokes, “Does Y/N know?” Remus just glares at him. “Because you’re not so bad yourself, handsome.” He wriggles his eyebrows at Remus. Remus just shoves him again, this time more playfully, and Sirius gives him space. “Thanks. It’s like my senses are all ten times keener.”

After another painful while of working, Remus registers the common room door opening and closing, and a moment later loud laughter reaches his ears. James and Sirius turn to him in concern, thinking he’s going to snap again. But he doesn’t.

You and Lily, still laughing loudly together, come over to the boys. You plop down next to Remus and all but lay on top of him with an exaggerated exhale. Okay, now they’re certain he’ll snap at the contact. But he doesn’t.

“I’m soo tired,” you say. And when you notice Sirius and James’ wide eyes staring at you in horror, you add, “What?,” looking around confusedly.

Remus’s arms wrap themselves around you, he nuzzles into your jumper, breathing you in, and he says, “Godric, I’m happy to see you, love.” James and Sirius’ expressions relax, James rolling his eyes and Sirius just chuckling. You don’t even notice, your attention fully on Remus now. You wrap your arms around him in turn and start running your hand up and down his back. “You okay, Rem?” you whisper. “No,” James answers before Remus can say anything. “He’s being a complete twat.” You laugh and look down at him in your arms. “That true?” In response, he just buries his head in the crook of your neck, hiding. You feel him give an affirmative “hmm.” You turn back to your other friends, saying, “Well, lads, I’m sure he’s very sorry.” “Yeah, yeah,” says James with a scowl that looks suspiciously like suppressed laughter. Sirius gathers their stuff and, pulling James off the floor, says, “Let’s give the lovebirds some space. You can finish this in the morning.”

It’s just you and Remus on the sofa now, cuddling in the quiet, one of your hands soothingly scratching his scalp, the other rubbing his back.

“I have something for you,” you tell him. His eyes droopy from your ministrations, he looks up at you and quirks an eyebrow. When you scoot a bit away from him to grab your bag, he whines dramatically and pulls you back to him. “Relax, I’m right here,” you laugh, settling in again. “Here,” you say as you hand him a chocolate bar. He giggles in response. “Thanks, sweetheart. I went through the rest of my stash this weekend.” “I know,” you smirk at him. He nuzzles into your shoulder again. “You always take such good care of me,” he whispers, giving your shoulder a kiss. “You take care of me too, Rem. Just in different ways.” Your hand comes up to caress his cheek, and you kiss his forehead before settling yours against it.

“I love you.” A squeeze. “I love you too.” A chaste peck.

After a minute, you stop running your hands through his hair.

“Please don’t stop,” he pleads. “You have no idea what you do to me.” You cheekily quirk an eyebrow at him.

He chuckles lowly but says, “Not like that.” A beat; he smirks. “Well, like that too,” he chuckles again. “But right now I just mean you… I don’t know… you soothe me, I guess. All of me.” He looks a bit more serious now. “James wasn’t wrong. I’ll apologize later. But it’s been driving me absolutely mad all day.” He sighs, and you know he means the upcoming transformation. “But when I’m with you, it’s like the world slows down to normal again. Better than normal, actually, since you’re with me.” He gives you an adoring smile, holding your hand and drawing circles on the back of it. “You soothe all my senses, Y/N.” He kisses the back of your hand. “And my soul,” he adds.

“Remus,” you whine lovingly. “Stop. You’re going to make me cry. And I can never say such beautiful things to you.” “You don’t have to say anything,” he says genuinely. “Just be with me.” He pulls you closer again, and you continue your comforting gestures.

“That I can do,” you say, and he smiles with all the warmth you feel, gives you a lingering kiss, and settles back into your arms.

#remus lupin #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader #remus x you #remus fluff #sirius black #james potter #remus x sirius #wolfstar #marauders #marauder x reader #marauders fluff #marauders fanfic #fluff #established relationship

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foli-vora · 3 months ago

Text

run to you: chapter eight

marcus pike x f!reader

A/N: it's here. Finally. Don't look at me. Can't believe we only have 4 chapters to go after this one! I have such a deep fond love for this little universe and I'm so damn thankful for all of your comments, reblogs and asks! Your kind words make my bloody year! Hope you enjoy angels x

Summary: Following on from ‘Traitor’ and ‘You’re Somebody Else’. An unexpected visitor throws you right back into the life you thought you left behind. Working beside the man that put you behind bars is one thing, pretending like you never loved him is another.

Word count: 4.7k-ish

Warnings: angsttttt, swearing, general heartache and bittersweet goodbyes, a break in, these two make me want to listen to a heartbreak playlist all day and just cry

main masterlist | series masterlist

This story will have explicit sexual scenes in the future so 18+ only.

The words play in your mind as you make a beeline to the public bathrooms, a relentless cycle over and over and over. Your conversation with the consultant had been mind achingly frustrating, and yet, despite knowing his little tricks and various mental hoops he gets his chosen victims to jump through, you can’t help it—you give in.

You find yourself jumping through those damn hoops, letting his words drive you borderline insane.

Jane has it all wrong—so wrong—so why can’t you stop thinking about what he said? What would give him the impression that Marcus has feelings for you? Feelings that extend beyond the expected responsibility of a leading agent, and mere guilt lingering from their shared history.

Does he see something you can’t? Has he heard something? Found something?

The bitter tang of resentment builds in the back of your throat as your mind goes down more paths, creating more questions with no answers in sight. This is what he wants.

Jane wants you to be overwhelmed with questions and what ifs and a desperation for the truth, so you’ll go to him for the answers. So he can spin words, play and pick your brain some more. It’s a cycle, one that obviously works well for him. This is how he plays, and it’s vicious and cruel, and—

—and yet you still let his words confuse you, still mull over them in your head.

You keep fucking falling for it.

Your hands shake as they deposit your bag beside the sink, the cold water splashing over your skin doing nothing to divert your thoughts or distract you.

Of course there are no feelings anywhere.

Maybe this is just a ploy to hurt or embarrass Marcus—surely there’d be some bad energy there, given the history between them both. Maybe Jane’s not finding enough entertainment within the investigation and is instead making his own.

You don’t know. What you do know is that you refuse to waste one more fucking second wondering what is going on in that man’s head, and what his ploy is.

It hits you as you stare back at your reflection in the mirror, the obvious internal war written across your face with creases of stress and watery eyes—you can’t do this. You’re not cut out for this rollercoaster of drama. You’ve had enough.

Jane, the case, Marcus, the FBI—you’ve had enough of all of it. You’ve done enough, and Marcus has always said to tell him when you decide you’re done. He’s always said that you’re under no obligation to do anything you don’t want to do, that you could back out at any point. Or maybe that was just another lie.

The bitter part of you churns to life, still angry, still holding onto the aching resentment from the past. Vicious thoughts and memories tainted by heartbreak flood your mind, but it doesn’t seem to cut as deep as it usually would. He didn’t lie about that.

He said you were in control, he gave you his word—and you took it. You trust it.

Would he be disappointed?

You did tell him that you’d help, that you’d do what the FBI asked of you and get them the information they need, but at what cost? Your mental health was already taking hits, an array of emotions continuously assaulting you from merely being around Marcus again, let alone being bombarded and interrogated by some wanna-be mentalist freak from California.

No. He’d understand.

You dry up, blotting the paper towel across your throat and willing your heart to slow down as you look over your frame in the reflection. The wire’s still perfectly hidden, tucked deeply away under your jacket from where Marcus had pinned it, but the mere thought of it sitting there has a cold dread creeping along your veins.

That whole conversation with Jane had been recorded.

Marcus is going to listen to it. His team is going to listen to it. You can’t deal with the fallout of that. You can’t be humiliated like that. What would he do? What would he say?

Though of course you know the truth and that the idea of Marcus having any type of romantic inclination towards you is fucking ridiculous, you’re still not exactly fond of the idea of sitting there and listening to him explain why he does not, and would not, ever have feelings for you.

Maybe—maybe you could get ahead of it.

Surely if you just tell him, ask him, that the recording be discarded as you’re backing out. There’s nothing on there, there’s no need for it. Just delete it, forget about it and move on.

You grab your things and leave the safety of the bathroom, clutching your bag like a lifeline as you begin to make your way towards the exit, but then you see him. He’s a good distance away from the path you’re taking, and you wouldn’t have noticed him at all if you weren’t suddenly highly aware of every person milling about the building.

Edward Thomas.

Someone who had played a big part in your life before everything went to shit. He’d been involved with some of your replicas, their creations and the deals around them once they were complete. You weren’t aware of his exact place in all of it, but you know damn well it was much higher on the food chain than you.

He looks the same, despite everything. Did nothing happen to him when it all fell apart? Was he not arrested along with everyone else?

Probably not. He had money—serious money. He had connections. He had the network you had ensured to keep out of. Perhaps you would’ve been better following his footsteps, kissing asses and sucking up to the underground elites of the world, making more of a name for yourself behind closed doors. You would've been untouchable, invincible.

Where would you be now? Back in your penthouse, mostly unscathed and living life as normal.

There’s no use dwelling on it. It’s a can of worms you could continue to open and close for the rest of your life, wondering what if until it drove you mad.

Doing what Edward Thomas did, does—it’s not you. It wasn’t you back then, and it wouldn’t be you now. You just wanted to paint, you weren’t in it for the money. Although, admittedly, it did help.

You want to move towards him, to hover in the background beyond the group of smartly dressed people surrounding him, enough for him to see you, to peak his interest. This could be what Marcus, the FBI, needs. This could, potentially, help the investigation, if he is still doing dealings under the table.

But then what? You’d be stuck having to go further. There’d be no backing out. There’d be more drama, more headaches, more mind games, more lies. You can’t do it.

This has developed into something you don’t think you have the nerve for. The idea of it all seemed so easy when Marcus came to you, but the reality of it? You don’t have the mentality for it all. You’re not an agent. You’re not trained for this. You don’t have people behind you, covering for you and protecting you.

You turn away.

Rigsby lingers by the bathroom you had exited from, nose in a pamphlet showcasing the must sees of the museum, but his eyes flick to you as if to check on your movements. You swallow, give a barely there shake of your head and then continue on your way out, leaving him to alert Marcus that you had left.

—

You’re only a mere few feet away, but he can feel the distance that now stretches in between you. Distance that could never be removed or forgotten. The thick sheen of glass hides him from your gaze, but that doesn’t stop him from flinching when your eyes glance at the mirror upon entry.

He’s a coward. A fucking coward. He intentionally sat out on the move today, refused to be a part of the team bringing you in, all because he was scared of seeing your face and the look of betrayal in your eyes. Shit, he’s still scared now. Maybe that;s why he stays behind the glass, refusing to be a part of the interrogation.

You’re holding on so fucking strong, he’s damn near proud.

Jenner throws everything at you. He does all that he can, but when you don’t budge, he throws an apologetic glance towards the mirror that you thankfully don’t catch. It’s time to pull out the ace card, to let you know they had more on you than you think, and it makes him fucking sick.

He can’t move.

You’re confused when you hear the mention of his name, his real name, and why wouldn’t you be? You have no idea who he is, who he really is.

Sweat slicks his palm as he pulls at the door to the interrogation room, builds on the back of his neck under the crisp collar of his shirt as he takes a seat. He can’t look at you. He can’t look at you because he’s a piece of shit coward, unable to confront all the shit he’s done.

Bile stings at his throat.

It takes every fucking bit of him to keep it together.

The file is heavy in his hand as he slides it across the table before he finally manages to meet your gaze. It cuts him to the very core. He feels the hit of it deep in his chest. His jaw starts to ache from the pressure of keeping his teeth clenched tightly together, forcefully swallowing down every flicker of pain and guilt and self fucking loathing until he’s nothing but a blank slate.

Tears start to build rapidly in your eyes and he knows then and there that he’ll never forget that look of pure and utter heartbreak creasing your face. The face he had stroked so softly, kissed so lovingly.

“Special Agent Pike,” you rasp softly, almost choking on the words.

It’s a viciously harsh blow to the system and he falters almost immediately.

I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry—

You don’t look at him anymore, and he’s almost glad for it. You’d see how he starts to crumble, how his tongue darts out to wet his lips in a panic and how Jenner makes a small gesture for him to take a deep breath and cool it before he says something that’ll end him in deep shit.

“I want a lawyer.”

—

“I can’t—I can’t do this anymore. Any of it.”

He seems to be expecting the words, taking them in with nothing but a small reassuring smile and a simple, “Okay.”

Honestly, you were expecting a little more. Maybe a few questions fired as to why you couldn’t do it when you seemed so intent on following through with it all originally, but when he says nothing else, you deflate. You wet your lips, wondering if there’s some sort of catch, but Marcus remains silent, watching the flutter of emotions pass over your face.

“That’s it?”

“When I told you that you’re in control of this, I meant it. If you’re done, then you’re done.”

Hearing him confirm it brings such a sweet relief to your mind, you can practically feel the weight of it all start to seep from your shoulders, but despite that guilt still sits in the pit of your stomach, uncomfortable and relentless. It falls from your mouth before you can even think to stop it—

“I’m sorry. I thought—I don’t know. I guess I just thought it would feel different, or be easier than it actually is. I think I’m just… tired. Of everything. I want—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he cuts in quietly, giving a small reassuring smile when you glance at him. “We asked a lot of you, and I understand that. It’s okay—really.”

Your conversation with Jane plays back through your mind, almost tauntingly. A small part of you wants to tell Marcus about it, he should know Jane’s off parading about on his own path without a care for the plans or rules or whatever it is that gets set in place during an investigation, but then what?

He’d want to know what he said, and you don’t have it in you to look him in the eyes and tell him. You don’t want to open yourself up to that embarrassment. Of course what Jane said is all bullshit, it’s ridiculous to even think about yourself, but to have Marcus bluntly tell you so would be a bit of a slap across the face.

“The recording,” you start with the creepings of hesitation, tongue rolling along your lips in an effort to bring the words out smoother, “what happens to it?”

A flutter of a frown creases his brows as he eyes you from across your kitchen before he gives a noncommittal shrug, finding no harm in your curiosity.

“It gets put in with the rest of the evidence.”

“Even if there’s nothing on it?”

“It would need to be cleared by an agent first, but if there’s nothing of use on it then it just gets discarded.”

“If—if I asked you to delete it now, without listening to it, is that… would you?”

The frown immediately deepens.

He seems to stand straighter, something seeping into his expression as your question lingers in the air, and you watch, waiting for the suspicion that doesn’t seem to come. He just seems concerned, whether on your behalf or his investigation you don’t know. He doesn’t seem to know that Jane had jumped on you at the museum, surely that would’ve been something he would address immediately upon seeing you after the last time, so you’re positive he’s unaware of what’s on it.

“I—” he stops, tongue running along his lips, “I can’t risk the case—”

“I wouldn’t ask that of you. There’s nothing worthwhile on it, but if I wanted you to forget about it and delete it, would you?”

Would you trust me?

It goes unspoken, but it lingers behind your words. Despite the anxiety churning in your stomach and the panic building in your chest from how he’ll take your request and what he’ll think of it, you’re curious. He has no reason to trust you whatsoever, especially given your history, but some sort of shaky foundation had been built between you over your time working with him—how far did it go?

His concern grows, and he takes a careful step towards you. “Has something happened?”

Should you tell him? No. Just be done with it all.

“Just answer the question.”

“What happened?”

“Marcus.”

The frown remains steady between his brows, his eyes unwavering as they focus on yours and study your features, but eventually, after a few moments of searching your expression, he gives a small careful nod. You can’t help but recoil slightly in surprise, not expecting the answer. You don’t even know what you were expecting.

Your first response is to call him out, because surely he wouldn’t, but as you watch him and the way he starts to shift almost nervously, you start to believe him.

“You would?” You question softly, brows pulling together. “Why?”

“Because you asked me to.”

That’s it? That’s all it would take?

He swallows, eyes falling to the floor as his hands find his hips. “Are—are you asking me to?”

“Maybe.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“No.”

It’s not an answer he wants, but he seems to accept it. His frown stays on you, his eyes bouncing back and forth between your own as he attempts to work out whatever you may be thinking. You see the conflict play across his face, the urge to push for more answers, the want to understand.

Something seems to click behind his eyes and you don’t know what to brace for in the seconds that follow. Anger? Accusations?

He strides towards the kitchen counter, takes the little device in hand and holds a small button along the side until it gives a small beep followed by a clear confirmation of ‘recording deleted’. It’s over and done with within the span of thirty seconds and you’re left reeling.

Holy shit. He did it. You stare, wide eyed as he tosses it back down and runs a hand over his mouth, before turning and pacing the small width of your apartment.

You watch him go.

There was nothing on it other than your little spat with Jane, but he didn’t know that. You could be hiding anything. You could’ve turned on him, evaded Rigsby’s watchful eye, found someone in your old circle and told them everything you and the FBI have been doing. Anything could’ve been on it, and yet he listened to you.

He trusted you.

“You could’ve just deleted evidence,” you breathe, still stuck in disbelief.

He knows it wasn’t. He fully believes you would never ask that of him, but at that very moment, he couldn’t have cared less if it was evidence. He would’ve dealt with it, like before. Technology isn’t always reliable, and issues almost always arise during cases with something tech-related. No one would know. No one would need to know.

“Yes,” he states plainly, and you’re so perplexed by the word and how he seemingly shrugs off his actions that you need to take another moment to process it.

“Just like that.”

He finally stops pacing, turning to face you fully.

“Just like that,” he echoes quietly.

This was a bad idea.

Not just the erasure of potential evidence and his apparent nonchalance regarding it and the risk to the position he had gruellingly earned over the years, but the whole thing.

The whole fucking thing.

He should never have bought you into this. He should never have knocked on your door. He’s right back to where he was back then, stuck and doing some very questionable shit he would easily lose his job over all because he’s an idiot.

You don’t hide away from his gaze, and he doesn’t shy away from yours. You’re still trying to work out his thought process, the logic behind his actions, and you keep coming up with nothing. There’s no reason why he would do something like this, for a nobody like you. There’s no motivation, no need on his side to do as you ask and blindly delete shit without questioning it further… unless—

Unless, what Jane said holds some merit.

Why else would he do it?

No.

Maybe he’s just doing it as a favour, to try and make up for all of the shit he put you through. That makes more sense than him having feelings for you. He hasn’t been around you enough to justify any sort of feelings—he doesn’t know you. Or is he carrying them from your previous relationship? But it’s been ages since you were together, and that was all fake back then. There was nothing real there, it was all a lie.

The headache is coming back.

You exhale slowly through your lips, eyes falling away from him and to the simple black device once more. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. You don’t need to know any more. It’s all done. It’s over, and you can finally get back to your quiet little normal life. You can move on.

“Thank you.” And you mean it.

“Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, clearing his throat. “I know this must’ve been very hard for you, and we appreciate all of the hard work you’ve put into this investigation. I appreciate it.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” you half smile, the pull of it natural.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he huffs softly in amusement, slowly coming closer to pick up the device from the counter and tuck it away into his pocket.

“I mean, I wasn’t thrilled to begin with, but… it turned out okay.”

He smiles fully, and it hits just like it used to. You don’t look away. There’s no harm in taking it all in one last time. You won’t see him after this. You didn’t know last time, before it all fell apart. You didn’t get a chance to enjoy all of the little things you liked. You didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

“Well, I’ll—I’ll leave you to it. Thank you again. There might be some final paperwork, but I’ll post it out.”

You nod as you follow him slowly to your door, tucking your cardigan around you and crossing your arms tightly across your chest. You ache. Somewhere deep inside your chest twists, and your throat starts to tighten. You’re not exactly sure what you’re thinking when you call out to him before he can reach for the door, and you’re left with nothing to say when he pauses and turns to you.

There’s nothing to say. He doesn’t bother filling the silence. You stand there, eyes roaming his face in an effort to picture him as he was back then, when he was Alex. He lets you. There’s something there, something hanging in the stillness surrounding you both because you can feel it start to tug and twist at your insides.

Finality.

This is goodbye—a proper one.

It’s not Marcus you want to say goodbye to.

Slowly, deliberately, you step into him and he doesn’t move a muscle. He stills under the hand you steady yourself with on his arm, breath all but hardening in his lungs when your face nears his own.

Your lips press ever so softly to his cheek, only mere millimetres from the corner of his lips, and the shaky little exhale he lets out confirms it all for you.

Jane was right, but you have no idea just how much. He was in deeper than you could have possibly ever imagined. Everything was still there, simmering right under the surface and threatening to be his entire undoing. He doesn’t speak, can’t speak, for fear of saying the wrong thing and fucking this last little moment up.

He relishes in it, in the one final tender touch of your lips that sends his pulse to a heavy hammer beneath his skin. It kills him, destroys him, but he takes it willingly with an open heart. The final punishment to close the last chapter of your story.

His eyes are closed when you pull away, but they soon flutter open to meet yours, and they swim with all the apologies and guilt he doesn’t let himself say anymore. You’re thankful for it, you don’t want to hear it. Not now. Your lips tingle, and a warmth spreads along the skin of your cheeks.

“Bye Scribbles,” he rumbles finally, and you swear there’s a slight shine of tears in his eyes.

They mirror the ones suddenly building in yours.

Goodbye Alex.

“Goodbye Marcus,” you return softly, and then he’s gone.

—

He wants to tell you to run.

The words sit on his tongue: a beg for forgiveness, a plea to just get on the first plane out of the fucking country and disappear, and he damn near draws blood to stop himself.

Though he tidied up as much as he could, ensured there were appropriate plea deals in place and a chance for you to get out of this better than the others if you cooperated, he still dreaded the next few days.

You have no idea.

No idea that your world’s essentially going to shatter and come down around you, and it’s all his fault.

Your kisses feel like a punishment. Each one threatens to cut through his restraint, and when you whisper those three sweet words in his ear he wants to vomit.

He wants to tell you everything. He wants to explain that this fake persona you had given yourself to so fully was still him—it was all him, just under a different name.

He doesn’t.

He lets the guilt eat away at him, lets the heartache practically tear him apart from the inside out until he feels raw. There’d be no salvaging this. There’d be no walking away from this with you still on his side, and rightly so. This will fucking break you, and he’ll carry that for the rest of his life.

He sits up long after you fall asleep, studying each dip and curve of your face and committing it all to memory. He traces over your skin, attempts to smile when you sleepily wake from his touch and hides the presence of his tears by scooping you into his arms for the last time.

—

It’s surprisingly easy to return to life as it was before he knocked on your door. A weight had been lifted free from your shoulders, a promise of new beginnings born from finally gaining closure. Was it what you expected? No, but it was no less welcome.

You managed to get your old job back at the diner, and spent days sketching aimlessly in the park.

It was normal, until it suddenly wasn’t.

The door’s pried open when you return from a late night shift, the obvious signs of a forced entry with the wooden edges of the door chipped and the frame split from pressure. Your hand shakes as you push it open, stomach turning as it gives way to the utter chaos that is your little apartment. Your home.

Your things are everywhere, drawers are opened and the contents spilled out onto the floor, furniture upturned and tossed carelessly to the side. Someone had been looking for something, but you know you have nothing of worth. Not anymore. They wouldn’t have walked away with anything of significance but still, there’s a bitter sting of loss, of intrusion that seems to rattle you to the core.

Heart beating heavily in your throat, you carefully step over the mess and further into your small apartment, and beyond the thunder of your pulse you hear nothing else out of the ordinary. Whoever had been here was long gone, leaving nothing but destruction and questions in their wake. Who the hell did this?

He’s the first and only person that comes to the forefront of your mind, and when you shakily reach for your phone and find his name still saved in your small list of contacts, he answers after the second ring despite it being so late. You almost feel guilty for bothering him, but something about the way he seems so immediately concerned placates any doubt.

“Hi, I—I’m sorry, I don’t… someone broke into my apartment—”

There’s a sudden flurry of movement on his end that crackles down the phone.

“Get out of there,” Marcus demands, before you can even finish working out the right words to say.

He doesn’t tell you to call the cops, he doesn’t tell you it’s not his problem and that you’re on your own now. You feel a slight wave of relief, but facing the disaster of your apartment has a wave of vulnerability hitting you and your eyes start to burn.

“There’s no one here,” you mumble around the sudden dryness of your throat, “they’re gone. Can you—”

“I’m on my way. Listen to me, I need you out of there, do you understand? Do not touch anything, leave everything as it is.”

You nod, despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to see it, and step back out into the quiet corridor of your floor.

There’s no one around.

Your skin prickles with worry, your nerves working into overdrive to stay vigilant. Every quiet shuffle and bump beyond the walls of neighbouring apartments rattles your senses, and the hand holding your phone starts to shake. He must sense your panic, hear the way your breathing starts to pick up as your chest starts to tighten.

“It’s okay, I’m coming. Stay on the phone with me.”

“Okay,” you exhale as a tear tracks down your cheek, leaving a cool trail in its wake.

Maybe this is an overreaction. Maybe it’s just some random burglary, someone out to get a quick bit of cash for whatever they need, or maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s not all over as you had hoped. Has someone found you? Do they know who you are? Do they know what you did?

You feel sick.

Your voice catches in your throat, “Marcus—”

“I know. I’m coming.”

#run to you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike #the mentalist fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

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