#I DO WANT TO GET INTO VOICE ACTING MAIN REASON I WANT TO VOICE ACT MY OWN CHARACTERS
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What do your spirit guides want to tell you?
For this reading, I used a deck with only Major Arcana, to get more general but "big", powerful messages. This is what your spirit guides want to tell and advise you really bad.
Arts are from volume covers of Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun.
REMEMBER
Iâm not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.
Itâs a general reading, so not everything will resonate.
If you canât choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and thatâs okay, too.
Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldnât be the main reason for making it.
1 ~ 2 3 ~ 4
PILE 1
Temperance - The High Priestess - The Sun R - Back of the Deck: The Emperor R
Maybe because the first two cards in my deck present women, plus especially because of the High Priestess, but what comes to my mind immediately is âfemininityâ. This is an encouragement to lean more into what is traditionally feminine. The more I look into the cards, the clearer this message is - thereâs Temperance, the card of balance, thereâs the feminine High Priestess, and thereâs the masculine Emperor in reverse. Temperance asks you to balance your life more. Work-life balance, logic-emotions balance, as well as how you act around people. Your spirit guides suggest trying to work together and be a team player, both Temperance and the High Priestess tell you this. The High Priestess is also an invitation to trust your intuition more, to tap more into your spirituality. Maybe your spirit guides would like to talk more to you, and they wish you would let them. With the Sun in reverse, they suggest you should have some fun, do what brings you joy, and listen to your inner child. The Emperor in reverse suggests you could have a not fully healthy relationship with your traditionally masculine traits (I want to make this clear - I always write âtraditionallyâ for a reason, think about it as your relationship with what society expects of you, with gender stereotypes). Your spirit guides want you to reflect on how you look at your relationships with other people. Treat them as your equals, theyâre neither better nor worse than you. It wonât resonate with everyone, of course, but I keep having this image of someone working an office job who is kind of bitter and so focused on one aspect of their life that they forget the little joys of life and donât treat their coworkers/subordinates nicely. So, to sum it up, reevaluate your priorities, find some time to be alone with your own thoughts, with your hobbies, and try to treat other people equally. And give your spirit guides a call.
PILE 2
Temperance R - The Hierophant R - The Hanged Man R - Back of the Deck: The FoolÂ
Itâs interesting how, just like in Pile 1, the first card is Temperance, but this time in reverse. Similarly, the message here is to reevaluate what you give attention to and balance your life, but itâs even more urgent. Itâs not wise to spend too much on something or to focus on only one aspect of your life, ignoring other ones. Your spirit guides tell you to put some time into self-healing and taking care of yourself. Maybe some home spa would be good, nurturing both your body and mind. Next, the Hierophant in reverse is all about making your own path, challenging the status quo, and not caring as much about the approval of others. Your spirit guides encourage you to find your own voice and speak your mind. Do what is right for you. The reversed Hanged Man tells you itâs time to stop living your life on autopilot and actually start doing something. Think about what you would like to do, make a plan and do it. The Fool at the back just highlights how much your spirit guides want you to embark on a new journey. Donât be scared of new beginnings. This whole reading emphasizes how important it is to make some changes in your life, and while doing so, keep in mind what will make you happy. You, not someone else. You are the master of your own fate, nobody else can live your life for you. Your spirit guides are with you, so stop merely existing and start to live. It may be scary at first, but youâve got it!
PILE 3
The Star R - The Magician - The Hermit - Back of the Deck: The Wheel of Fortune
Right off the bat, thereâs a lot of gold and some brown, white and blue color-wise, which makes me feel you should take a closer look at your finances and your earthly matters, but also donât forget about the more spiritual things. Another interesting thing is how the Magician and the Hermit have a similar pose, both with their arms raised, as if creating something out of thin air or launching an attack. Now, getting to the cards themselves, you had a harder time, huh? The Star in reverse tells me that you could start to doubt whether there is something good for you in this life, whether some higher forces are there for you - and here your spirit guides are, screaming that yes, they are here for you, they always are. So nourish yourself, remember whatâs important for you and what you want to do, and do it. The Magician says that, once you get in the right mindset, you have everything needed to manifest your desires. Stop self-loathing, stop procrastinating, itâs time to do the THING. Your passion project, your art, your book, your dance. With the Hermit, your spirit guides encourage you to look inward and take some time for yourself. As I wrote at the beginning, both the Magician and the Hermit in this deck have similar poses, they both create something, and they lay here next to each other. At the same time, thereâs this interesting contrast, as one is more dark and blue and kind of nocturnal, while the other is gold and bright. I think these parallels are here to tell you how important it is to both think and act, as only then will you create what you want. Only thinking about your goal wonât take you anywhere, only acting without thinking can lead to a catastrophe. With the Wheel of Fortune, your spirit guides once again tell you that youâre not alone and everything is temporary, nothing lasts forever. You may feel hopeless right now, but âthis too shall passâ.
PILE 4
The Moon - The Chariot R - Strength - Back of the Deck: The Hermit
This pile is all about being with you yourself. Your spirit guides encourage you to have some alone time and not act recklessly. The Moon is about your fears - your spirit guides encourage you to deal with them and stop running away. However, itâs more about healing your inner child and doing some shadow work than about dealing with them in a more physical way. Write a journal, think about therapy. There are some issues here that you need to work through. Tap more into your intuition and be patient, as you may not have the full picture right now. Next, the Chariot and Strength are both about, well, strength - but the Chariot is more about the outer strength and will, while Strength is more about the inner one. And here we have the reversed Chariot. Both of these cards together emphasize how you should work on your self-discipline and commitment. You have this kind of quiet strength for influencing and persuading without raising your voice. This kind of confidence and strength is not as visible as the loud one, but it isnât a reason to underestimate you. The Hermit at the back yet again tells you to look into yourself and spend some time with your thoughts. Your spirit guides think you can do a lot of things once you start dealing with your fears and insecurities and realize you can be powerful in more ways than one. Your inner strength is your power.
#divination#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a card reading#cartomancy#general reading#tarot reading#free tarot reading#pick a pile#spirit guides
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Had an idea but I forgor it so here's a different one
Bruce Wayne, concussed and on several strong painkillers, socializing with socialites from outside Gotham. They ask him about his kids and joke about how they all look so similar to him.
His brain, moving at about 3mph, does not register that his kids were ADOPTED (safe for one) and answers their questions as if he gave birth to them, forgetting he also doesn't have the facilities for that (unless you want him to- we love old trans people)
"Master Bruce I really must insist-" Alfred tried for the fourth time in seven minutes, Bruce had counted, reaching to push him back to bed and pull off the suit jacket he had only moments before helped Bruce put on.
"'M going Alf." Bruce grumbled back, rubbing a bleary hand over his eyes. "There's no use in putting it off. Don't have a good excuse and.." He grimaced. "They need to see me. It's been a while."
Alfred opened his mouth to protest again, even going so far as to move in front of the door to block his exit. "You are on far too many medications Mr. Wayne, not to mention a concussion! You simply cannot."
Bruce's lips twitched it amusement. It was a rare day when Alfred's composure was rattled to the point of calling him Mr. Wayne, and while Alfred was admittedly very strong, there was no way his physical blockation of Bruce's path would actually stop him.
"Alf." Bruce began gently, and the butler scoffed, rolling his eyes as he moved out of the way, striding down the long hallway. "Well. I see my advice isn't heeded. As always."
Bruce threw him an apologetic smile, heading for the main door. "Love ya Alfie!!" The butler snorted, but Bruce could tell he was softening.
"Call if you need boy." Alfred murmured. Bruce grinned, offering a wink as he pulled the door open. "I will." He promised, sliding into the backseat of his limousine, heading to the Gala.
He hissed as the needle broke his skin, biting his lip to prevent any further sounds as the anti-biotic worked its way into his system. Alfred would most definitely have protested its use, especially as Bruce tossed back a handful of other added painkillers, but if he was being honest, he needed them to get through the night.
"Thanks Hank. Tell your wife I said hi and grab her a bouquet on your way home. On me." He patted his driver's shoulder as he climbed out. Hank grinned, tipping his black cap.
"You always make me seem like such a good husband Mr. Wayne, I appreciate it. Have a good night." Bruce grinned back, stumbling slightly as he moved towards the doors, using the car to stabilize himself.
"You give me too much credit, send your boys some love and you have tomorrow off, try to actually use that baseball glove I gifted you." Hank chortled, setting the car into drive. "Will do sir. Good night." Bruce nodded the same back, watching until the car pulled away fully to stumble up the steps.
"Maybe those pills weren't such a good idea." He mumbled to himself as he made it to the doors, pulling them open to walk inside, heading straight for the table laid out with food. Of course, one couldn't enter a Gala without greeting the hosts, and he barely made it two steps before he was intercepted.
"Mrs. and Mr. Ketch. How lovely to see you." Bruce offered a bow, bending too low before rocking back upwards. Mrs. Ketch was smiling at him, a lovely, true smile that Bruce noticed tended to happen whenever he greeted the woman first instead of the man. Mr. Ketch was frowning, but more at Bruce's bizarre drunken act than any offense towards being placed after his wife.
"Are you alright, Wayne?" He asked, and Bruce hated that he actually liked the Ketch's, because there was genuine concern in the mans voice. Another reason why he had come.
The Ketch's were new money, self made, and trying to blend in with the old elites, though Bruce had to admit they never would, they were just too good, too kind, too sincere.
He wondered, dimly, in the back of his foggy, drug addled mind, if perhaps they'd finally tire of all the snide comments, rude looks, sneers, and give up on their well meaning charity that they had chosen Gotham for. He hoped they wouldn't. He liked having actual good conversation at these dull events.
"M fine, truly." Bruce answered, a few seconds too late, smiling lazily. "Might've had a few." He tried his best imitation at a drunken smile, wincing as he realized it was dangerously close to how he really felt.. tipsy. Off balance.
Robert, because that was his name, he had told Bruce his first name instead of demanding he call him Mr., frowned a little in concern, and before he knew it they had herded him to one of the seating places, settling down by him.
"How're the kids?" Mrs. Ketch asked, handing him a glass of water that Bruce gratefully accepted. "Amazing." He answered. "Splendid. They're always doing so well. They don't see it though." He frowned at his glass, wondering why that was.
"They're so amazing though. It just doesn't make any sense," He sat up, leaning forward to look at the couple in front of him intensely. They both had their eyebrows raised in surprise, but leaned forward in tandem, intruiged.
"Because see, they're so brilliant, and lovely, and smart, really I think they're the smartest people in the world- like ever. And Dickie, he's so kind and sweet and nice, and he's got a few problems and I'm sorry about it but he's really just amazing and an all around good person, I really oughtta try and be more like him, and oh he's got my eyes, im so glad he got my eyes, but i love his nose too, its nothing like mine- anyway Jason too- whoo he got my height im so happy for him- he also has my eyes! they all have my eyes actually, except cass, and damian, but like he's so brilliant and smart and he was such a good kid, he is now too- oh he doesn't like me calling him kid, but he'll always be my baby, and oh i cried so much when he died, but he better now, oh and Timmy, oh timmy is so smart. Soooo smart like genuis level, and he's wayy smarter than me, wayyyy smarter, and alfie says he has my hair, but i dont see it- i think he got my jaw though- and then Cass oh Cassandra My baby girl she's lovely and sweet and a charmer, beautiful girl, so is Barbara, but she won't let me say that to her, no no, but she is, she's so pretty and smart and quick, she scares me sometimes but I love her, such a good girl yknow? And Stephanie? Oh she and Tim need to make it official so shes mine. mine mine mine. I need another daughter you know? Too many boys. Equality of men and women at home. I need them home. And then Duke. hes so lovely too. Oh and Damian. Damian took some adjusting but they're all so lovely yknow? I remember the day they were born so vividly. I was so happy. I love them so much. It hurt, of course, but what is that to the joy they bring now yknow?"
Bruce took a sip of his drink, nodding thoughtfully as he leaned back. Mrs. and Mr. Ketch blinked a few times, opened their mouths, closed them again, and leaned back as well, exchanging glances.
"Yes. Well. Quite." Mr. Ketch cleared his throat. "Bruce, perhaps we should call you someone? To take you home?" Mrs. Ketch nodded her agreement.
"Come on sweetheart, let's get you home. You need to go to bed and.. and sleep this off." Bruce nodded, letting them help him stand and guide him to the door as Mr. Ketch called someone.
"Yeah. I like bed. And sleep. Oh- but I can't. Uh-uh, I promised Dickie I'd call him." Bruce nodded, turning to head back inside as though that would help his quest.
Mrs. Ketch grabbed his arm and gently, but firmly, led him back outside. "Rob just called him sweetheart, he's on his way."
"Oh." Bruce nodded. "Oh. Thas good." Mrs. Ketch nodded her agreement, rubbing his back soothingly. "I like that." Bruce hummed, letting his eyes close. "Its like what my mother used to do." Mrs. Ketch looked at him in surprise, hand stilling for a second before resuming.
"Really?" She asked gently. Bruce hummed in confirmation. "Oh yes. Yeah she did. You do it well. You'd make a good mom. Just like me. Well, I don't make a good mom." At that he frowned at the ground, biting his lip. "But I try."
Mrs. Ketch smiled, turning them as a car pulled up. "Yes. You do. And you do it marvelously Bruce, truly. That's all we can ever do. Try." Bruce nodded his agreement as the door opened and his eldest emerged, rushing to his side.
"Bruce!" Dick looked genuinely worried, grabbing his shoulder. "You alright?" His son's eyes were searching, scanning his body.
"Oh hes fine." Mrs. Ketch waved with a smile. "Just a few drinks. I think it'd be best he go home though, sleep it off." Dick nodded his agreement, smiling at her. "Yes. I think thats best. Thank you." She shrugged, waving it off.
"Of course. It's what he would have done for me." Dick lowered Bruce into the passenger seat, heading for the drivers. "Bruce." Ketch tapped the window, leaning down. "Hm?" Bruce tilted his head, rolling it down.
"I'm pregnant." Bruce waited, jaw dropping slowly as the words connected in his brain. "You are?" She nodded, a small smile crossing her face.
"Yes. You're the first person I've told." She glanced nervously over her shoulder, to where her husband was waiting on the steps. Bruce reached for her hand, clasping it in his own.
"You'll make an excellent mother. And he will make an amazing father." He promised. She smiled, biting her lip anxiously. "You think?" Bruce nodded. "I know." At that her smile softened, and she patted his cheek.
"Thank you. And, for what it's worth Bruce," She glanced past him to Dick, who was kindly pretending not to listen. "I think you make an excellent mother."
#ahhhhh here#i tried#i hope you like#gods my ocs are always like motherly ladies#and i guess drivers??#idk#hope it fulfilled your visions#batfam#batman#bruce wayne#good dad bruce wayne#good mom bruce wayne more like#dick grayson#batkids
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curse of strahdanya has officially taken over my brain! alongside arcaneâŠseason two is SO GOOD SO FARR please go watch it if you havenât. holy shit yall it does not disappoint
spoilers for up to and the entirety of episode 7 of cos â ill mainly be talking about character dynamics (mostly shepnax) but major events and plot developments will be explicitly discussed as well, so, if youâre not there yet, please donât keep reading (getting spoilered for this stuff is not worth it i promise)
im sorry in advance. im not even done writing everything yet and its already very long
the way i see it, episode 7 is a major turning point for not only the whole story but inter-party relationships as well. iâll be organizing this a little bit so itâs less text-wall-y (hopefully)
shepherd
thereâs the raven mother they find nailed to the wall â the culprit being strahdanya. this definitely fueled the hate that all of the party had for her, but especially shepherd. he literally screams out in anguish and, later, calls strahdanya a coward and bitch â something weâve never seen shepherd do before.* i think the events in the beginning of ep 7 is what really cemented his and the partyâs objective: destroy strahdanya. before, i sensed some kind of âwiggle roomâ: the party would be willing to work with her a bit, though only for a very short amount of time and would probably backstab her. but after witnessing all that? strahdanya is irredeemably evil, not worthy of consideration / sympathy / courtesy, and i think it finally fully dawned on them all
*i also love how much raw emotion shepherd expresses throughout the campaign. the rest of the party has their moments too (i can immediately think of kana and victoria, but im not remembering any significant ones for clayton or sarnax though i know they exist), but shepherd consistently reacts to the hellhole that is barovia in such a genuine way that it grounds the whole narrative and, to me, makes barovia that much more horrifying. in other stories or discussions of stories ive seen like this (and even in the cos party itself), the characters are largely untouched by the horrors that occur in such a setting. which, fit the characters/purpose as it might, distances the audience at least a tiny bit from the happenings of the narrative. but when you have an otherwise grounded, calm, capable individual like shepherd crack? thatâs when it really hits you i think. like, the whole thing with sarnax reviving the mother? shepherd being so relieved and overcome with a multitude of feelings that his voice cracks as he holds back tears, begging the mother to rest and not do any work? it made me feel the same way, and it really drove home how wonderful this act is and how dire their situation is. shepherd (and andy by extension!) have drawn the most emotion out of me in my watch, and its possibly the main reason i enjoy his character so much
him being seemingly chosen by the silver dragon (which, again, another turning point) is very compelling in a narrative sense too because shepherd doesnt want power, he doesnât seem to even like the idea of leading (or at least being pushed into a position of leadership). iâll touch on it later in the shepherd and sarnax segment (if i dont forget lol, my mind is running wild while i write this)
victoria
i think strahdâs infatuation with her and the physical effects it has (kanaâs cleansing ritual failing because the water becomes blood as it touches victoria) is so interesting, especially her inner conflict with her heritage and wickedness (and the distrust it sows between her and the party, at least initially)
i really enjoyed how victoria was vulnerable with kana, and how kana handled it with such care and compassion. this is also a turning point, i think, when it comes their relationship: kana promises to protect victoria, and victoria promises to fight the darkness within her; they definitely got closer after that, and their bond was deepened. i dont imagine strahd would be very happy about victoria not being enamored by her and being helped by her party, though itâs very possible that she enjoys âthe chaseâ (for the lack of a better term)
when they came across the dusk elf in the order of the silver dragon estate-thing, itâs a pretty clear parallel to victoria given her appearance, heritage, and reason for being in barovia. i could be very very wrong about this but its heavily implied victoriaâs elf half is a dusk elf, which makes sense considering, again, that sheâs in barovia to learn about her lineage and that dusk elves are the only elves mentioned so far. i think this is the first time sheâs genuinely made progress in her goal
sarnax
sarnaxâs identity revolves around gherix: his whole life is devoted to the fire lord; heâs used to communing with and praying to his god. itâs likely what kept him going in such a terrible place with such terrible odds of survival, let alone returning (which heâs convinced he will not). so when strahdanya intercepted the augury spell he was so clearly shaken. it was one of the few moments, if not the only one, where sarnax was in genuine, utter panic â the whole time shepherd repeatedly asked him if he was alright and he didnât seem to hear those words at all. suddenly he learned that strahdanya could damage or possibly sever his connection to his god, the being his life is centered around. (kanaâs comment certainly didnât help)
but what happens after â the augury spell reading âwealâ and sarnax being able to revive the mother â strengthens his faith. it was tested, but he prevailed. i think he was also filled with a newfound sense of purpose, knowing that, no matter what strahd does, his god considers him worthy enough
about him and kana: episode 7 is the culmination of their slow development towards not only tolerating each otherâs beliefs but to understand and embrace them, specifically with kana saying that she trusts in sarnax and his god
sarnax and shepherd
the conversation between them was my favorite moment in this episode by far. there are so many layers,
shepherd so clearly doesnt want to embody his namesake and be a leader, but the silver dragon and someone he trusts so much â sarnax â and fate itself push him in that direction, so he just does. shepherd says:
âsarnax donâtâ
âno why would you-â
âwhy- why- why would you put this on me, why?â
âhow can you say that?â
âthis was just a job. i mean this was just to make sure we all got here and back safelyâŠhow did this happen?â
then, laterâŠ
âalright, alright iâŠokay. iâŠdont know what to sayâ
âalrightâŠalrightâŠokay, understoodâ
âsure, sure. lead the wayâ and, after sarnax says âno, shepherd. you lead the way, i will light the path,â ââŠfine.â
essentially, he sucks it up. and thatâs interesting to me since shepherd shows so much emotion, so itâs clearly not a âmen dont cryâ-type ideology thing. i think itâs probably related to his desire to do good, and as well as the good doc. after all, the doc gave him his virtue name: shepherd. it only makes sense that he would be written by fate as one: a person who guides the lost through the darkness. so thatâs my guess as to why he so readily accepts this burden
i think sarnax being the one to say this also played a role in it^. shepherd witnessed firsthand the power of gherix and sarnaxâs wisdom, so much so that he prayed to gherix. shepherd, who was originally averse to anything religious, prayed. and i also think sarnax is shepherdâs only true friend in the party. his relationship with clayton, victoria, and kana feels like professional acquaintances â theyâre comfortable with each other and certainly growing closer, but he seeks out sarnax (and sarnax does too) and both have called the other a friend or good friend, on more than one occasion for shepherd and at least one for sarnax. itâs obvious that shepherd values what sarnax has to say and cares for him.
because of that, sarnax saying that he will die in barovia (specifically that he doesnât âbelieve [he has] a place back in avantrisâ and that âwhatever it is that [they] achieve here will be [his] endâ because he has âseen it in the flamesâ) and shepherdâs reaction hits even harder for me.
shepherd says âiâm not gonna leave you. iâm not gonna leave anyone.â
and sarnax replies âthen it will be i that leaves you.â
itâs the shortest exchange, but it holds so much weight. sarnax has accepted his fate, possibly long before this. but when before sarnax took charge and led the group, shining his light, he steps back, realizing shepherd is the one who (he thinks) fits that role. he still guides, but he doesnât lead, and he believes shepherd should. but shepherd doesnât. shepherdâs used to following orders, as we see so many times with him and clayton (but also him and sarnax), and struggles to make decisions for the group â when they ask him where they should go, shepherd seemingly blanks and he just picks whatever as fast as he can (to get the pressure off him, i assume). and despite this, shepherdâs line reinforces what sarnax thinks: a good shepherd doesnât leave his sheep behind, he goes after and, well, shepherds them.
and honestly the whole relationship between shepherd and sarnax. them being regarded as monsters by others, being dehumanized by, for example, vascha [?] thinking shepherd is a devil and esmeralda calling sarnax shepherdâs pet ->
shepherd answers, understably upset, âheâs not my pet, heâs a person!â i figured sarnax felt the same way, but when he was praying to gherix, he referred to shepherd as âa vessel for [gherixâs] wrath.â so that raised a question to me: does sarnax truly care for shepherd (in the way shepherd does), or does he view him as a tool? itâs interesting to think about. it could be him truly caring about shepherd and seeing him as a capable person who will have a great role in his godâs plans which, i imagine, is among the highest of honors â the first possibility in the question, but filtered through the lens of sarnaxâs religious perspective (which i think is the most likely and most compelling)
and thereâs the parallel with them being connected to gold and silver dragons: different, but the same. (unrelated tangent but thereâs also a very interesting parallel between shepherd being chosen by the silver dragon [âgoodâ] and victoria being chosen by strahdanya [âbadâ])
sarnax saying âsilver will unite with goldâ is, on the surface, about the two dragon-gods involved in the story. but i think, on a deeper and probably unintended level, it also applies to shepherd and sarnax growing closer (as they have been since the prologue, following in the footsteps of their respective dragons, and shepherd connecting the two dragons by his faith in gherix and affinity to the silver dragon.
i think thatâs everything! hopefully i wont post this and immediately remember something i didnât mention
thank you for reading all of this <33
#hopefully the order (not chronological) i wrote this in (and the whole thing in general) makes sense#idk. curse of strahdanya my beloved#yes i did transcribe the majority of the sarnax shepherd conversation#on paper because my notes app kept crashing whenever i tried to write a single word#im so normal about them#curse of strahdanya#sarnax of the edelwood#silas shepherd morgan#silas âshepherdâ morgan#kana soyokaze#victoria isaacs#legends of avantris#not art#media analysis#-> maybe
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Beebop i feel like you could get into voice acting if you set yourself to it
I ACTUALLY REEEEEEALLY DO WANT TO DO THAT SOEMDAY AND IM SO GLAD YOU THINK SO STANCHBUN THAT MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY WITH GIGGLES AND GRINS AND AND THE LIKE LIKE HOLY SHIT YAY
#I DO WANT TO GET INTO VOICE ACTING MAIN REASON I WANT TO VOICE ACT MY OWN CHARACTERS#i want to be the next alex hirsch voicing a bajillion of my own characters#OUHGHGHGHG IM SO GLAD YOU THINK SO THATS SO AWESOME TO HEAR#i have practiced actually before but i dont know if i put as much effort in as i potentionally could#i just fuck around a little bit with everything honestly i dabble here and there#asks#randarollstenchbun
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Sugar on the Rim vol. I
bruce wayne x afab!reader
aka the billionaires new friend
warnings: implied that reader is a virgin, age gap (bruce is older than reader), mentions of sex, smut in next part
You twist the stem of the wine glass around between your fingers slowly. Your chin rests atop your knees as you stare vacantly at the tiny puddle left of the drink. You could go refill it, but then youâd have to go back out to the main room and manâŠyou really do not want to do that. So youâll sit here, swiping your tongue across the bumps of the roof of your mouth as if it's a fascinating new discovery.
The creak of hinges has you shooting upright, your back thumping against the stair step behind you. Youâre not immediately sure how to act as though itâs normal that youâre sitting in the stairwell outside the fundraiser rather than in it, fraternizing with old and new money alike. You freeze, trying to relax your posture so it doesnât look like youâre alarmed at the sight of another person, but not so relaxed that you look as bored as you are.
Your neutrality stutters when you glance up to find the host of the fundraiser. The billionaire host of the fundraiser. Bruce Wayne, the billionaire host of the fundraiser. Your posture straightens right back up and your mouth snaps shut as you make eye contact.
Should you stand up?Â
No, heâs rich, not royalty.Â
You are in his house thoughâ
He looks you over contemplatively, âI donât know you,â Itâs not accusatory, rather he says it like itâs something interesting.
You perk up at that, immediately formulating reasons to justify your presence. âOh, uh, noââ the words nearly spill out of your mouth all at once. You clear your throat, âIâm just a plus one for my bossââ
âWhoâs your boss?â he asks, relaxed.Â
âArthur Mullins.â
He looks to the side, squinting, âMullinsâŠheâs the executive at Williamson Industries, yes?â
You nod and he returns the gesture, slower, like heâs processing through something. âIâm Bruce,â he says warmly after a moment, holding his hand out to you.
You nod before you can even think to get any words to come out, âIâyeah, I know,â you accept his hand, shaking it as you tell him your name.
Thereâs a slight glint in his eye when he hears your name, and he repeats it quietly to himself. âA pretty name.â
âOh, itâs justâŠâ Just your name. But rather than fill him in on that fascinating tidbit, you let the sentence die off.
He smiles kindly anyway, âWhat are you doing in here? Partyâs out there, or so they tell me.â
âIâŠIâm hiding in here,â you admit sheepishly.
He leans in towards you slightly, lowering his voice. âIâll let you in on a secretâso am I,â he smiles at you like itâs easy.
Your grin matches his, âItâs your party,â
âThatâs why I need to hide.â He tilts his head, âDoesnât give you much of an excuse though, does it?â
âI donât know anybody here.â
He puckers his bottom lip contemplatively, âYour boss.â
You shake your head, âIâm just his assistant. Iâm pretty sure he just brought me as a precaution in case he needed a designated driver.â
He laughs at that, âBased on the way Iâve seen Mullinsâ attempts to operate, his assistant would have to be a hell of a lot more important than just a designated driver.â
Well, heâs certainly right about that. Your boss doesnât exactly âhave it togetherâ per se. Heâs an unorganized man with little to justify his importance in Gotham, so he tends to insist on taking on more responsibility than he has any business having. Not to mention, heâs a bit of a try-hard and youâre constantly left to sweep up the pieces of his reputation that he shattered himself. Not to say heâs necessarily unprofessional, he just will do anything and everything to prove he belongs in any given space. Itâs honestly a bit exhausting to watch. Itâs more exhausting to try and convince him that the exchange went well afterwards.
You nod slowly, eyes on his shoes. âMr. Mullins hasâŠa unique approach to business. It does usually leave me fairly busy, Iâll give you that.â You take a quick deep breath, plastering on a fake smile. âBut that means I occasionally get to go to fancy parties where I donât know anyone, so..â
âWell then it sounds like youâve got it all worked out,â he ribs, âOr donât you agree?â
You smile coyly, âI would never be so bold.â
âI donât mind boldness. For example, the reason I came in here is because he spotted me.â
You laugh at that, âMr. Wayneââ
âBruce.â
âMr. Wayne,â you suppress your smile as you pause, choosing your words carefully. âI think heâs just networking.â He doesnât have the money to give.
He nods surely, âHeâs definitely just networking.â He really doesnât have the money to give. You allow just the faintest wisp of a smile to adorn your face as you look down again.
You check the time and realize that youâve been hiding away for too long and that if he hasnât already, your boss will notice soon. You sigh quietly to yourself, âI should..â
He turns his head to the closed door where the chatter can be heard from beyond, sighing in defeat as he shakes his head looking back at you. âSo should I.â
You feel a bit insecure as you stand, the gown youâre wearing is pretty but it is very much affordable and youâre sure someone as wealthy as Bruce Wayne would know the difference.
If he does notice he makes no deal of it, motioning you forward gallantly to walk ahead of him.
He follows after you, hands behind his back. âWould it be rude of me to ask you to distract him while I run for the bar?â
Itâs busy, even for a Sunday afternoon, and you have to sidestep past someone nearly every step you take. You stick next to the windows of the line of boutiques down the road, trying to balance window shopping and not bumping into other pedestrians.
You're in a nicer district of Gotham, truthfully an area you don't quite belong in. So far youâve only managed to find a couple shops that werenât several ranges above your budget.Â
A call of your name has you blinking rapidly and turning around as if youâre lost. It doesnât take long for you to pick the six foot two billionaire out of the crowd and itâs only half a second longer before you realize heâs walking towards you. A few people collide shoulders with you as they move past thoughtlessly, no regard for the personal space of the idiot that stopped in the flow of traffic.
You let him approach a couple feet closer before you ask him, âIs there something I can do for you, Mr. Wayne?â The presence of his figure in front of you allows for a break from being bumped into, as he seemingly makes for a far more easily seen and intentionally avoided target.
He sways a bit, âBruce. Iâm not sure yet,â he looks down to the couple of bags youâre holding, extending his hand out. âMay I?â
It takes you just a moment to move past your surprise at the request, allowing him to hold them for you. âAre you in a rush?â
You shake your head quicker than you meant to, âNo, Iânot at all,â he gestures his head forward, allowing you to walk before him.
You traipse ahead in silence for a moment before deciding against biting your tongue, âWhat exactly is it youâre not sure about?â
He raises his voice a bit so you can hear him over the crowd, âWhether or not youâve got plans on the 19th.â
You look back at him, âWhatâs on the 19th?â
He stops with you as you admire a set of jewelry inside a window display, âWeâre hosting a gala for something or something else, hopefully less boring than the fundraiser.â
You blink, âYouâre inviting me?â He nods. âWhy?â
âI could use someone who wants to be there even less than I do.â
He said it so casually it takes you a second to even register his meaning. You blink, face contorting defensively, âThatâs notââ you can barely make out the smile on his face as he continues on walking.
You shake your composure back together and trail after him, rushing to catch up. âI donât think Mr. Mullins would be very happy to hear that Iâm attending a business gala without him.â
He shakes his head as he scans over the crowd, âHe canât fire you for that.â
âHeâll try.â He would. A petty little man, he is.Â
He scans across the rows of clothes leisurely. âWell, then he can speak to me about it. Besides, it wouldnât be for business.â And then he just lets that sentence linger.
It takes you a moment to recover from those words and begin to start processing the world around you again. After a few more feet down the sidewalk he pulls you gently to the side by your lower arm, out of the rush of traffic, and looks at you dead on, âWhat do you think?â
You try not to waver under the weight of the eye contact, âI donâtâŠuh, I donât really haveâŠâ you look down, hoping to get the message across without actually having to say the words.
He glances into the store window next to you and raises his eyebrows, âWell then Iâd say weâre in the right place.â
You canât manage to tell him that this store is definitely far too expensive for you, walking through the door as he opens it for you, albeit apprehensively.
Well. Up close window shopping is more fun anyways.Â
The spotless white of the floors and walls has you intimidated, and just as much so by less by the no doubt designer clothes lining the walls. The saleswomen all look pretty highbrow themselves, hair up in tight buns and uniforms chic.
You only break from gawking at the store to look behind you at Bruce. You note the way his eyes roam around blindly, looking for something and clearly having no means to narrow down where it might be. You take one more glance around, immediately finding the women's section with no such difficulty.Â
âThis way.â You say, nodding your head over to the left. He recovers nicely and lets you lead the way towards the section of dresses. You peer back at him, âYou donât seem like someone that does much of his own shopping.â
Thankfully, he laughs at that. âWell, special occasions.â
You keep your gaze ahead this time, asking as casually as you can, âIs this a special occasion?â
He hums in consideration, âIâd say so.â
You stop upon approaching the dress section, taking in the immediately stunning display of options.Â
âWhat are you doing up here anyways?â you ask, hand brushing across a particularly plush dress.
âAh, I was headed to a meeting.â
âOh,â you frown, looking at him. âDonât you need to go?â
He shakes his head with a puckered lower lip, âNo.â
A few seemingly heiresses roam down the aisle mindlessly, not caring much that youâre in their path.Â
Bruce sees them before you do, knowing well that they were not going to excuse themselves. âSweetheart,â he nudges you gently to the side, closer to him as the group passes. His hand remained open-palmed and flat as he guided you to the side, seemingly very careful not to touch you with uninvited boldness. Though youâre quite shaken by the chivalry of the gesture, a brazen touch wouldnât have been the worst thing in the world.
As your arm brushes against a rack of clothing your gaze follows, met with something rather appealing.
Bruce is quick to notice you admiring the sleek black dress that looks like something youâd see a model wearing on a runway. âYou like that one?â
âItâs nice, yeah,â you murmur, not really thinking. You flip the price tag over and your face drops. âItâs $800.â
He nods thoughtfully, âWe can find a nicer one,â he says, though itâs clear he knows exactly what your problem with the price tag was.
âI canâtââ you restart, âI would never have a reason to wear something this nice again.â
He shakes his head coolly, âThatâs alright.â
Your shoulders drop and your head tilts seriously, âItâs not, though.â
âYou like it?â He looks you in the eyes, his own searching for a truthful answer.
âI mean, of course, but itââ
He nods affirmatively, âThen weâll get it. Problem solved.â He turns his back to the rack, casually observing the rest of the store goers. âPick your size.â
Apparently not one to argue, you thumb through the row until you find one that should fit.Â
You sigh, realizing that youâre running out of time to mention that you donât have $800 to spend on a dress. âI canâtââ
âYou donât need to,â he says simply as he takes the dress off the rack and drapes it across his arm, making his way towards the salescounter.
You try to stop your mouth from hanging open as you follow, âIt really is okay, I donât needââ
His grin cuts you off, just in time for you to hear him mutter, âSweet girl..â to himself. You stop right in your tracks, feeling very thankful that heâs not looking at you right now because youâre certain the look on your face would give you away.
He still doesnât face you as he calls out, âCome on,â as he continues on.
Obviously youâre not stupid. You know what type of intentions a billionaire playboy must have with a younger girl that he doesnât even really know. However, if said billionaire is offering to buy you a pretty dressâŠno, youâre not sleeping with him because he bought you a dressâof course notâand youâve made absolutely no promises to do so, so whatâs the harm in letting him? Really?
And yeah, maybe itâs a plus that heâs not bad looking, but how is that your fault?
You stand a bit awkwardly next to him as he puts his card in the machine, not even glancing at the outrageous number, and declines the offer for the receipt.
As you exit the store together and stand at the doors as he hands your original two bags back to you along with the new shiny black one that on its own looks like something people would pay for.
âYou will be there?â he asks, eyes more hopeful than you were prepared for.Â
You nod, gesturing the bag up, âWell you just bought me the dress.â
He shrugs that off, âI wouldâve bought you the dress anyways.â
You linger in the midst of the ado wearing a dress that you feel far too overshadowed by, fidgeting with the half empty wine glass in your hand. Unfortunately, this time around you were invited by the host of the event and it would be extra rude to run away and hide. That doesnât stop you from considering it, though.
A hand sliding across your lower back has you momentarily startled, and for reasons you couldnât quite verbalize, youâd naturally assumed it was Bruce. The disappointment rings strong when you turn around to be met with the sight of an even older man, who looks considerably wine drunk.Â
âHello there, Miss.,â The words themselves are polite but the salacious smile on his face and the way his eyes have no trouble roaming your body gives you a solid idea of what this conversation is going to entail.
âHello,â you fake a polite, tight smile and shift your attention to the rest of the room.Â
This does nothing to deter him, as he takes a sizable step back into your line of sight. âHaving a nice time?âÂ
The man is clearly from money, if his attire didnât give it away his attitude sure did. Thereâs an heir of entitlement around him, like heâs inherently deservant of your attentionâa quality you were notably surprised to not have found in Bruce.Â
You give him your faux-smile again, this time tighter but half a second longer for the sake of politeness. A rookie mistake.
âCan I buy you a drink?â He asks, gesturing to the bar.
âIâm okay, thank you,â you say, gesturing your wine glass up.
A momentary flash of irritation crosses his face, but to his credit, he does a better job recovering from it than you would have expected. Though, thatâs not really saying much. âWell, pretty little thing like you shouldnât be all alone here,â
âIâm afraid youâre mistaken,â Both of your heads snap to the side, finding a much more welcome surprise than youâd previously received.Â
Your counterpart's posture straightens immediately, âMr. Wayne,â he fawns, âWhat a lovely event youâve thrown. Iâm sure the Bernsteins will be appreciative.â
Bruce hums, eyes narrowed slightly. âYou areâŠâ
The man startles and rushes to finish off his sentence, âAlexander Watson, senior executive to the accounting department for the research wing of the company.â
He nods slowly, no recognition actually present in his eyes. âAh. The research wing of the company that just blew fifteen million dollars on prototype self-operating cell phones.â
Youâre trying hard to fight the smile creeping up on your face.
âWhat exactly is a self-operating cell phone?â
Watsonâs face drops, hurrying to justify his approval of the proposalâs funding. As he rambles, Bruceâs gaze lowers to where Watson has once again placed his hand on your hip, though heâs not close enough to you for it to rest fully or naturally. You donât know him well but you can say confidently that he doesnât look pleased.Â
He looks back up to Watson, attitude challenging. âSurely youâre not poking around where youâre unwelcome?â
Watson stutters at that, blinking and shaking his head quickly. âNo, no, of course not! I was just hoping to provide the young lady with some company. Thatâs all.â
âAnd so you have.â
âIâ,â about two steps behind in this conversation, Watson finally decides to retreat, âYes, good evening, Mr. Wayne.â He bows his head and shuffles away back into the crowd.
âMr. Wayne,â you smile knowingly, turning to him. âHow are you?â
The hardness of his gaze fades quickly as he takes in your appearance, quite liking how you wear the dress youâd picked out.
âThings are looking up,â he smiles, âYou look lovely.â
 âThank you,â you glance over to where Watson has made his way to the bar, likely about to down an entire glass. âMr., uh, Mr. Watson makes quite the impression.â
His smile turns a bit sullen, âYou know last year he tried to convince the board that battery-powered battery chargers were going to be the next big thing?â
You blink, tilting your head, âThought you didnât know who he was.â
His eyes are fixed on the wall as he tugs the corner of his lip down, knowing heâs been caught but not really caring. âIâm sorry to have been away for so long, it seems everyone needs my attention at these things.â
âAt the gala that you threw? Iâd imagine so.â
He rolls past that smoothly, âYouâre having a good time?â
âI am,â you say with a confirming head bob.
He regards the room with a numb expression, âYou know, I think Iâm getting bored with all of this.â
You smile at him, brow furrowed, âItâs only been an hour.â
He looks at you, eyes wide. âItâs only been an hour?â Heâs exaggerating his surprise to make you smile, and it works.
âI think we should go,â he says lower.
You stare at him, bemused. âYou still have a whole room full of guests.âÂ
He shrugs, âTheyâll filter out on their own eventually.âÂ
He clocks your hesitation easily, accurately noting it to be more out of politeness than actually wanting to stay at the party. âWhat, youâre not ready to leave?â
You look around at all the mostly old, posh guests, disinterested small talk evident all across the room. You take a breath, âAlright, yeah. Letâs go.â
He smiles and leads you out a side door and through a corridor thatâs significantly longer than youâd expected.Â
âDo you always ditch your parties this early?â you ask, following closely.
He makes a sharp right at the next doorway, âIf I can manage it.â
You look around at the high wooden ceilings and grand furniture. âArenât some of them friends of yours?â
He shakes his head, âMy friends arenât here.â
You frown at that, âThen why do you throw them at all?â
âWhy did you show up last weekend?â
You nod slowly, understanding. âItâs your job.â
He returns the nod, adding, âOnly difference is, thereâs not a chance in hell you get paid enough for the work you do for Mullins.â
For the sake of maintaining your wishful facade of professionalism, youâre going to not acknowledge that incredibly accurate statement. Instead you smile politely and continue on walking. He seems to get the implication, returning it with an even brighter adornment.
âWell, moneyâs money,â you say wryly.
His smile fades a bit, âYou shouldnât have to worry about things like that.âÂ
You shrug, âA day in the life,â
He looks sullen upon hearing that, with more sympathy than youâd have expected from someone of his stature. Heâs done nothing if not surprise you, though.
âHere,â he says, taking hold of the handle of a glass door. It opens to a garden, lit up beautifully by the moon and outdoor light. A fountain sits in the middle, water rhythmically gushing out of the top and trickling down the sides. The bite of the Gotham night air burns at your cheeks a bit and you find yourself thankful the dress youâd chosen is so long.
Bruce leads the way to an expensive marble bench positioned nicely in front of it, allowing you to sit first before following suit. Your hands find a place in your lap, clasped together awkwardly in an attempt to find warmth through contact.
It takes Bruce less than ten seconds to stand, remove his suit jacket, and drape it over your shoulders before sitting back down. The material is thicker and warmer than you wouldâve expected, surely reminiscent of the perks of being owned by a billionaire.
He doesnât look at you to acknowledge the grateful expression on your face, simply carrying on like it didnât happen. âWas hoping it was warmer,â he murmurs.
Your focus momentarily goes to the icy cold stone of the bench under your thighs, initially finding it uncomfortable before deciding the coolness actually felt quite soothing. You remove your gaze from the gray stone and turn your head to find Bruce already focused on you.
You start to say something, though youâre not sure what it wouldâve been, when he brushes his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it down.
Well, he certainly knows what heâs doing, doesnât he?
His eyes stay on your lower lip as he murmurs, âYouâre a pretty girl, you know that?âÂ
God, heâs a professional.
You look up at him and refrain from saying anything, waiting to see if he follows it up with something that will make you regret agreeing to coming out here with him.
He doesnât.
You shift, moving your hands off your lap to rest on the stone under you. âYou canât just do thisââ
He smiles and lowers his chin to look you in the eyes, âThen what can I do for you?â
âYouââ you blink rapidly, âStop it.â
His coy beam persists, âStop what?â
You raise your gaze up to him ever so slightly, a pouty expression across your face that youâre trying to sell as serious. âYouâre trying to make me nervous.â
âDo I make you nervous?â He tilts his head down further, a ghost of a smile echoing on his lips, âI donât mean to, sweet girl.â
Your eyes drop to the ground, biting your tongue. âYeah.â
His simper grows, âIâm serious. Iâd hate to scare away a new friend.â
You laugh at that and he perks up a bit at the sound, âWhat? Weâre not friends?â
You cock your head to the side, âYouâre the one who said none of your friends are here.â
He hums, âMaybe I spoke too soon.â
âYou think so?â You should probably stop flirting so much.Â
âYeah,â he leans in a bit closer, âI do.â
âWhyâs that?â
âMaybe I want to be your friend,â his hand finds a place atop yours.Â
Your eyes flicker across his face as he closes in, âWhat if I donât want to be yours?â
His eyes are on your lips, âIâm sure we can work something out.â
You take a slow deep breath, âYour intentions are blurry.â
He smiles lightly, amused. âWeâll have to clear that up then, wonât we?â His lips are inches away and his voice is soft as he says, âIâm going to kiss you now, okay?â
You look up at him eyes wide, barely processing his words as you nod. He gently grasps your jaw in his hand, tilting your head up. His other hand finds the back of your head, holding you in place as he kisses you with intention. Your hands hover in the air for a second before holding onto his forearms.Â
He breaks the kiss only to give you another sweet one right after. Your mouths remain close when itâs over, eyes still shut, trying to catch your breath. You stay like that for a moment until he kisses you once more on your cheekbone before pulling away. His hands drop to rest on your knees, the weight of them gentle.
He hums lowly, âSweet thing..â
Being under the heaviness of his gaze leaves you feeling vulnerable. Itâs starting to get you concerned with the potential levity and implications of kissing him. The expectations.
âYouâŠâ you stare down at where his hands meet your skin, not quite sure that you actually meant to start that sentence.Â
âWhat?â he frowns, brow pinched. Your chin lowers further as your mouth forms a tight line. He shakes his head, âNo, itâs alright. What is it?â he asks gently.
It takes a surge of willpower for you to get the sentence out, âYou just want to sleep with me..â
He frowns harder at that, pulling back a bit. âNo. IâmâŠâ he sighs, âIâm not trying to lure you in just to toss you out right after.â
That makes you look up again. His voice has a sincerity to it that you werenât prepared for.Â
He continues, âI would like to, yes. Yeah. Youâre beautiful, of course I would, but..â he looks down at his hands before looking back up at you, âNo, thatâs not the most important thing to me.â
You break eye contact again, thinking over his words. If thatâs not the most important thing to him, what is? You canât think of what else he could possibly want from you, a billionaire who could have anything he wants..the only thing you could have to offer in his eyes is sex.Â
Right?
He exhales, âIf you want to leave, Iâll call you a car. No hard feelings.â He nudges your chin up gently so youâll look at him, but he gives you the freedom to fight against it if you wanted to.
You let him move you.
âI donât want to leave,â you tell him, looking into his eyes. âWhat do you want?â
âWhatever you want,â he says it like itâs automatic. You physically canât help but roll your eyes at the corniness of it. He doubles down, though, âSeriously. Anything.â
You smile in disbelief, shaking your head.
âAlright,â he returns your smile, straightening, âHereâs what weâre going to do. Do you need a ride home?â
You blink at him, âIâm going home?â
âYou are,â he nods softly, âDo you need a ride?â
âNo.â
He nods again, more like heâs working through something in his head. âOkay. Youâre going to go home and think through what you want. If you decide you want to, come back here next Saturday.â he stands up, extending his hand out to you, âThen you can let me know what else you want and we can get to work on that too.â
You start to shake your head, âI canââÂ
He drops his chin seriously, âThink on it.â
You relent easily, taking his hand and coming to a stand.
âAlright?â Again, his question is genuine. He does really want to know if youâre on board with this plan.Â
Already going against his request, you agree without a thought, âOkay.â
He starts to lead you back over to the garden door with a head nod and a kind smile.
It ultimately was not a decision you had to think very hard on.
Youâd considered every scenario of how this could play out and none of them ended with regret as far as you could guess.
Youâll still admit though, there was one scenario you had missed, apparently, which is why you were immeasurably confused when you showed up and he invited you to play chess.
Heâs not wearing a fancy three piece suit this time, but his clothes are still very nice. With the sunlight peeking through the windows, youâre able to see the manor more clearly than you had been the other night. It really is a beautiful home, clearly very old and charmed, but thereâs a lot of little details of character and history scattered around. Thereâs portraits and photographs of his parents from when he was young and furniture decorated with trinkets all throughout, kept absolutely spotless and dust free. Everything is neat and tidy but thereâs still traces of the house being lived in with the patched throw pillows and worn carpets. Still, itâs very, very placid.
Youâve met new money plenty of times over the course of dealing with countless businessmen for Mr. Mullins but old money is something entirely different. You donât really have a frame of reference here. New money is almost always brash and demanding, they like things done quickly and correctly the first time around. Theyâre usually not very interested in hearing what you have to say (even if it would save them a lot of trouble) and prefer it when the assistants women keep their mouths shut. Bruce has proven to be very different from these standards already and youâre not sure where to begin with placing new ones.
Youâre about halfway through a second game, and while youâre not awful at chess, you get the impression that heâs easing up on you considerably.
You sit on the floor in front of a short coffee table, the game having no clear lead so far.
âI think this is stressing me,â you mumble, no actual weight behind your words.
âItâs just chess,â he says, not looking up from the board.
You watch him move his knight forward as you ask, âAnd thatâs all weâre doing?â
âAs it stands, yes,â he looks up at you, though you donât return his gaze.
âYeah,â you sigh, sliding your rook, âBut later?â
âLater?â
âWell, you said...â you meet his eyes, âYou said you wanted to sleep with me.â
He nods slowly, âI do. Is that alright?â
You consider it for a moment. You already knew that, if you really werenât okay with it you wouldnât have come here. And yeah, the idea makes you a little shaky, but in a good way.
âYes,â you tell him, moving your queen forward two spaces.
âAre you sure?â he presses, moving to sit on the side of the table rather than behind it.
You do the same, sitting on your knees. âYeah, I just..â you shift your weight, eyes wandering. âIâm notâŠoverly experienced.â
He just smiles at that, like itâs endearing. Your words didnât quite convey your meaning but your tone did. In any case, he understands the implication. âThatâs alright, sweetheart. Iâm not going to throw you in the deep end.â
You nod, looking down again.
âYouâre nervous,â he comments.
âNo, IâmâI mean, maybe,â your voice is barely a murmur by the end of the sentence.
Heâs quiet for a moment, observing the way you fiddle with your rings. âWhat if we get you something pretty to wear? Something that makes you feel pretty. Whatever you want.â
He fishes his wallet out of his pocket, opening and pulling out a lump of cash without even looking. He holds the money out to you wordlessly and you can see from the bill on the outside that itâs at least a couple hundred dollars.
You shake your head instantly, âI canât take that.â
He doesnât put the money down but his eyes turn to begging. âPlease. I just want you to feel good.â
âBruceââ
He wavers a bit at that but itâs more of a falter than youâve seen from him before so itâs easy to take notice of. âWhat?â
He shrugs barely, âI like when you say my name.â
Your eye contact holds for a moment and your resolve starts to shake almost instantly.
You exhale, âIâm not taking more than a hundred.â
âTwo hundred.â
âBruce.â
He smiles and picks out some of the cash and pockets it, handing you the rest. You donât comment on the fact that itâs a hundred and fifty more than youâd agreed on.
You look down at the money in your hand like itâs a foreign object, shaking your head. âI donât even know what to get.â
His thumbs start to rub reassuring circles by the bend of your knees, âAnything you want,â he tells you. âWhat do you like? Silk, lace, cotton, anything.â
You look up, tilting your head at him with a furrowed brow. âIt doesnât matter what I like, thââ
âIt only matters what you like,â He says seriously, lowering himself to meet your gaze. âIâll love it, no matter what you pick. Donïżœïżœïżœt worry about that.â
You lean forward a bit instinctually, âOkay.â
His eyes scan across your face in something that you can only recognize as awe.
âWhy are you looking at me like that?â you whisper.
âI want to kiss you again,â he says, voice even quieter.
Your eyes go to his mouth and you can only manage a nod, lips already parted.
He moves forward not a second later, kissing you with more fire than youâd gotten to see the other night. His hands grab at your waist, squeezing lightly as you hook one hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
You hear the clatter of chess pieces falling over as he moves nearer to you, large frame leaning over you. You push up on your knees, meeting his lips up at his level. His hands caress around your hips as the kiss gets deeper.
You just start to fumble with the hem of his shirt when he takes your hands in his, pulling them away before breaking the kiss.
âEasy, sweet girl,â he smiles, nudging you back with little force.
You groan, âWhy?â
He barks out a laugh at that, stroking your hips again. âIâm not fucking you for the first time on the floor.â
âThen let's go somewhere else,â you nod up towards the stairs.
He shakes his head, that soft smile still playing on his lips. âNot tonight.â
You sit back on your heels again, frowning.
He brushes your hair back, murmuring, âNo. But for now, I'll kiss you âtil you canât think if thatâs what you want.â
You really hope you didnât perk up at that as much as you think you did.
part two
đŸđœ i heard a rumor that if you like without reblogging your crops will be cursed but hey what do i know đŸđœ
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MASTER OF PERSUASION
Part 4 of kinktober | main masterlist
meandom!Spencer/Hotch x fem!reader; Threesome, creampie, dumbification, degradation, brat taming, abuse of power, edging, dubcon
Your involvement in a heinous crime was questioned by the two FBI agents who were eager to do anything to get you to talk.
Words: 6802
a/n: This one is dedicated to my nasty, touch-starved btches who secretly wants to be manhandled by two older men. Enjoy this pure filthđ«¶
YOU WERE FAR FROM BEING A GOOD PERSON. From the surface, you seemed like a normal, typical woman, just one of the countless faces within the crowd. But when the doors shut behind you, you find yourself involved in endeavors you should never have pursued in the first place.
You knew too much. You were acutely aware of how many crimes happening in your vicinity. The number of deaths resulting from these heinous acts should be enough to terrify you, but it didn't, because unbeknownst to your peers, you were one of the reasons why they happened.
Although you never played the role of the perpetrator, you were the person these criminals came to for information. You were good with technology, you could hack into any secure system in the blink of an eye. It was almost as if you were a deity of the dark web, a mastermind whose mere presence served as a godsend to those carrying out these crimes.
It was easy money; you gave what they wanted, received what they paid you, and most importantly, you made sure to never look back. You always wiped everything out after each job was done, but somehow, after working on so many deals, your luck finally struck out.
Somebody hacked into your systemâno, somebody good hacked into your system. This person knew what they were doing. They managed to hack through your firewall and retrieve a few of your data while also discovering your identity.
You honestly wanted to praise whoever was on the other side because you had never encountered someone who could match, if not surpass, your own skill. But it wasn't until you heard the loud banging on your front door, followed by people in uniformed vests rushing in and pointing their guns at you, that you finally realized who had breached your system.
It was the FBI.
So that was how you found yourself sitting inside an interrogation room hours later with two agents across from you. A very tall, intimidating man stood at the corner, his arms crossed as he watched you silently. Dr. Spencer Reid was how he introduced himself, and the way he emphasized the title in front of his name, you were certain he was the type of person who took extreme pride in his intelligence.
He seemed a little too cocky.
Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, on the other hand, was hard to decipher. The older man appeared somewhat guarded as if his job had forced him to put on a facade devoid of genuine emotions. Maybe it did. He was, after all, a federal agent. Both of them were. These men were probably taught to master the art of maintaining an inscrutable poker face.
Nevertheless, they were both intimidating, and you wondered to yourself, was good cop bad cop not a thing anymore? Because as far as this was going, none of them seemed inclined to make things easy for you.
The man in front of you cleared his throat, his voice was a well-practiced blend of authority and curiosity. "You've been quite elusive, haven't you, Miss Y/L/N?"
You leaned back, studying him through half-lidded eyes, your fingers tracing the edges of the table with a cool, almost casual detachment. "Elusiveness is a matter of perspective, Agent Hotchner. I prefer to think of it as adaptability."
"Adaptability?" He leaned in closer, his sharp gaze never wavering. "You've made quite a name for yourself. You've infiltrated government agencies, stolen classified data, and even orchestrated financial heists... Impressive, I must say."
A faint smile danced upon your lips, revealing just a glimmer of amusement. "I simply explore the hidden avenues of the World Wide Web. It's not about the thrill; it's about the knowledge."
His eyes narrowed. "But your actions have consequences. You've caused quite a chaos, don't you think?"
"Consequences are a part of every action, whether in the digital realm or the physical world. As for chaos..." You met his gaze with unwavering confidence. "Well, sometimes chaos is necessary for evolution."
He leaned back, his expression unyielding. "Evolution or anarchy?"
"As I said, everything is a matter of perspective, even anarchy," you replied, your voice smooth as silk. "In the grand scheme of things, I'm just a catalyst. Society's flaws were there long before I came along."
The man in the corner took a step forward. His eyes bore into you with resolve as if he had grown weary of the ongoing debate. "You've had your say," he interjected with a steely tone. "You know why you're here. Our victim's files were found on your computer, we need to know who requested them."
You met his gaze with a mixture of defiance and amusement, unfazed by his direct approach. "Doctor Reid," you said, your voice laced with a hint of mock surprise. "Always chasing ghosts in the machine, aren't you?"
His expression remained composed, his intellect undeniably sharp. "We're not here to discuss my pursuits. We're here to talk about the life you've disrupted."
"Disrupted? I'd say I've merely revealed the cracks in the system. Your victim, as you call them, was a casualty of a much larger game."
"Games have rules, Miss Y/L/N. You seem to operate outside of them."
"Rules are made to be broken, Spencer," you retorted, your tone cutting like a blade through the air. "I can call you that, right? I hate having to speak with such formalities."
"It's Doctor Reid," he corrected. "Tell us who you're working for."
His unwavering determination was met with a subtle, knowing smile from you. You leaned forward, your eyes locking onto his with a hint of intrigue.
"I don't know, Spencer," you began, your tone slightly softer, as if you were letting him in on a secret, "The digital world is a labyrinth of information. Files come and go, they disappear and reappear... It's like trying to catch a shadow in the dark. It's useless."
He addressed you with a cold stare. "You're playing a dangerous game here."
You raised an eyebrow, your voice honeyed with allure. "Oh, I'm well aware of the game we're playing. But don't mistake my refusal to cooperate for arrogance. It's just that some secrets are meant to stay hidden."
The room seemed to contract, the air thick with unresolved tension. Aaron cleared his throat and your eyes fell back on him. "Miss Y/L/N, give us a name and we can make things easier for you. But if you don't cooperate..." His eyes traveled down along your body, the goosebumps rose on your skin in response to the heat of his gaze. "I'm afraid we have to resort to extreme measures."
A brief pause hung in the room. There was something in the way he was staring at you. He was looking at you with a profound determination that seemed very different from the way he assessed you before. Under the weight of his scrutiny, you felt your body growing hot. Your breath hitched, and a flush of warmth crept up your neck and tingled in your cheeks.
You regarded him for a moment before you finally spoke, your voice calm but tinged with a hint of defiance.
"If you think you can break me, Aaron, you're gravely mistaken. But if you're interested in the name..." you leaned back, crossing your arms. "I guess you'll have to earn it."
The tension in the room escalated as your words hung in the air. His jaw clenched, and when you thought you had won the upper hand over this battle of wits, he surprised you by waving his hand in the air, and Spencer came forward.
It was as if they had planned this. The way Aaron instructed his partner to move seemed rehearsed and calculated. Spencer walked over to you and before you could register what was happening, he grabbed onto your arm and wrenched you out of your chair with a force you didn't know he possessed.
Your voice carried a mix of anger and frustration as you protested, "What the hell are you doing?"
You suddenly felt him run his hands along your arms. "Checking for weapons."
The scoff you gave him was loud. "Oh, now you're treating me like a criminal?"
"It's a mere precaution."
And then you felt it, the way his touch lingered on your body. It was far from any normal search. His hands felt warm on your skin, even over the material of your shirt, as he continued to pat down your arms. There was a certain roughness in his movements as he slid his arms around your backside and you couldn't mistake the way he gripped your ass more than he should probably have.
"This is ridiculous," you muttered under your breath. "You won't find anything."
"I'll be the judge of that." He slightly shoved your shoulders. "Put your hands on the table."
You reluctantly did as you were told, silently gritting your teeth. His hands moved with purpose, and as much as you wanted to stop this questionable act, your body was reacting in a way that had you questioning yourself instead.
Why was your heart beating so fast as he stood behind you? Why was it getting so hard to breathe when his hands slipped around your waist? And why did it seem you were anticipating more when his palms slightly hovered over your breasts?
"Is this really necessary?" You asked quietly, trying to act as if his rough hands on you weren't affecting you. "This feels more like an attempt for intimidation."
You could practically hear the smugness in his voice as he asked, "Are you intimidated, Miss Y/L/N?"
You liked to think that you weren't, but honestly, you didn't know anymore. You had tried your best to put on a mask to avoid appearing weak, but as he started to squeeze your breasts in the palm of his hands, it finally dawned on you what was happeningâYou were finally caught, there was a high chance of you ending up in jail, and now a federal agent was touching you inappropriately, groping you in a crude form of patting you down.
And to your dismay, you actually liked it.
But you had too much of a pride, that was why you found yourself lying through your teeth. "No."
Spencer hummed a reply as if he didn't believe you. He squeezed your breasts through your shirt again, palming at them as he slightly felt your nipples stiffen through the material, and he couldn't resist rolling them as his touch continued lower. Your breath hitched as he mapped out your curves, one of his hands delving between your thighs before he stopped right at the center of your heat.
You let out a gasp.
"I-Is this even legal?"
Your mind went blurry as you felt his fingers touching you through the thin fabric of your pants. "Are you questioning how the law enforcement works?"
You couldn't answer him. Not because you didn't want to, but because you weren't able to form any coherent words as he continued to palm your sex, his fingers continuing to rub you. You were suddenly so focused on the way he was touching you, your head hanging low as you felt the sensation throughout your body, that you didn't even hear Aaron calling out your name.
It wasn't until Spencer retrieved his hand from between your thighs, and yanked your hair from behind, that you were forced to meet Aaron's gaze. "He called you," Spencer mocked, tightening his grip.
Aaron leaned forward, assessing the way you were arching your back with both of your hands planted on the table. "You have two options. One, we can play nicely, you give us a name and we'll go easy on you." His voice dropped lower as he continued, "Or two, you keep with this attitude and we might have to coax the answer out of you."
You locked eyes with him, a silent challenge burning in your gaze. Despite being in this vulnerable position, there was an undeniable strength in your stare, a refusal to surrender to their intimidation. Aaron met your gaze with a profound understanding.
"The hard way it is then." You saw him lean back in his chair as he crossed his arms, the subtle movement actuating his broad chest. "You know what to do, Reid."
There was nothing remotely gentle about the way Spencer handled you after those words. He shoved you, knocking the air out of your lungs as you gasped, your body pressed against the cool surface of the table. Somehow between your struggles, he managed to slide his hands around your waist, unbuttoning your pants before pushing them down your legs.
The air hit your bare skin, and even when you felt the cool breeze, your body was seething with fire, burning through your veins. The warmth spread along your cheeks as you realized you were wearing your skimpiest underwear, a flimsy material of dark lace that barely covered your sex. He gripped your ass with the palm of his hands, fingertips digging into the plush skin as he spread you apart.
"Well, aren't you a pretty thing?" You felt him shift behind you and you imagined him kneeling right in front of your heat. The moment his knuckles brushed along your wet patch, your hips bucked involuntarily. "She's wet, Hotch, I think she's getting a little too excited."
"I'm not surprised," the older man said. "She does seem like a slut."
Your head snapped at him. "I am not a slut."
"Oh, you are a slut." He leaned forward and reached out his hand, holding your chin in a vice grip, forcing you to look at him. "And we'll prove you how much of a whore you actually are."
Right on queue, a surprised gasp left your lips when Spencer's large palm burned your skin, giving your ass a harsh slap. The sound echoed in the room and he repeated the motion, watching in satisfaction the way your ass rippled for him. You fell into a false sense of security as he began to soothe his hand against your burning skin before pulling back to give another loud smack, and your mouth fell apart in pleasure.
"Not a fucking slut?" Aaron taunted, his thumb brushing on your lower lip. "That's the most farfetched lie you told us ever since you walked through that door."
You glared at him, but your defiance slowly shattered when you felt Spencer pulling down your panties over the curve of your ass, slipping them down your legs. The evidence of your arousal stuck onto the fabric and you felt your cheeks going warm in embarrassment. Spencer sucked in a gasp as he took in the sight of your lower half completely naked for him.
"Barely even touched you and you're soaking wet," he murmured, letting his thumb brush over your pussy, gauging your reaction. Your nose scrunched as you tried to bite back a moan that threatened to slip out. He started with gentle strokes, keeping his fingers only on the outer side, yet you could still feel his touch everywhere.
Each downstroke he made gave a light pull against your clit without giving any direct contact, and each time his fingers came back up, he slowly spread your folds open for him, briefly allowing your slickness to come in contact with the cold breeze of air.
Your mind became hazy, and just when you thought your body couldn't react more to his touch, he slipped a finger between your folds, feeling your slick against the dainty flesh. The motion caused your hips to buck erratically and your hands immediately reached up to grip onto the edge of the table.
He slipped deep inside you as your arousal coated him, circling your tight entrance as he felt the way your walls fluttered around the tip of his finger. He let out a low grunt as he felt how tight you were around him, curling at the knuckle while he began to drag his calloused pad against the soft spot inside you, making your body shake just from the mere contact.
The subtle reaction didn't go unnoticed by Aaron and he watched as your eyes glazed over. He couldn't stop himself from smirking, his features revealing a hint of amusement.
"You're enjoying this too much. I'm starting to think you're keeping your silence for the sake of this." You moved your head away from his grasp, only for him to grip your jaw harder. "Don't fucking move. Keep your eyes on me while he fucks your tight little pussy."
You never thought you'd be hearing such crude words from him, not with his stoic demeanor and polished facade, nor did you expect your body to react the way it did when those words filled your ears. You couldn't help it, your body betrayed your mind as your cunt continued to throb between your thighs. You could feel the desire building inside you, threatening to burst as you felt your body shake, and Spencer was well aware of this as he felt your walls clenching around his finger.
The laugh coming through his lips rang in your ears, sending shivers down your spine. "She liked that."
Aaron raised his eyebrows at you. "You like it when I talk like this?" He taunted. "You like it when I tell you how much of a slut you are taking his fingers so deep inside you?"
Your eyelids dropped lower at his words, and right at that moment, a lewd squelch filled the room as Spencer slowly slipped another finger into your dripping cunt, stretching you out as he began to thrust them inside you at a steady pace. Your body quivered as your breath quickened, and you found yourself grinding against his touch, desperately trying to get him to press the same spot inside you.
"Look at you fucking yourself on my fingers," Spencer cooed, his free hand smacking your bare ass again, and you found yourself arching your back. "You really are filthy."
Aaron laughed. "Acting like you didn't want it a second ago." He gripped your jaw tighter, forcing a gasp out of you at the subtle pain. He took advantage of your opened mouth by slipping his thumb inside. "Suck on my finger, Sweetheart."
You didn't know which one surprised you the most, his sudden term of endearment, or the order he gave you. You hesitated, because the moment you willingly sucked on his finger, you knew you would lose. The moment you followed through to his demand, he would have the upper hand and you would simply be the pawn in this game.
Aaron, as you realized, wasn't a patient man. His other hand reached for your hair and then, with a sharp and sudden yank, he tore at your hair. "Don't make me use more force than I already am."
Your roots tingled, your scalp throbbing, and a few tears welled up in your eyes. You blinked them away, not wanting to show any sign of weakness, and leveled your gaze at him.
He pulled your hair again. "Suck."
The pain was so much for you that you found yourself wavering. You swirled your tongue around his thumb before closing your lips and sucking with an approving hum. A husky moan was pulled from deep within him, overwhelmed by the feeling of your mouth on him, and, especially, the sight of you. "That's it," he praised you. "Suck on it as if you're sucking my cock."
Your walls clenched again. A sound of pleasure erupted from Spencer as he felt your cunt sucking in his fingers, and without warning, he pumped them into you with so much force you couldn't stop yourself from moaning this time. He laughed, as did Aaron, and your body shook as you felt that familiar sensation tightening along your body.
The room around you seemed to blur and melt away at the pleasure coursing in your veins. It started in the pit of your stomach, a warm, liquid sensation that spread like a slow-burning fire, radiating outwards in waves. Your hushed moan was muffled by Aaron's thumb in your mouth, but the sound of your pathetic whining didn't go unnoticed by both men.
You were so fucking close you could feel every nerve in your body on high alert. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, and your body quivered with the intensity of the sensation. Your eyes fell shut as the lewd sound of your arousal filled the room, and just when you were about to let go, Spencer suddenly pulled his fingers out of you, wrenching away that peak of pleasure you were desperately chasing.
Your eyes shot open, dilated pupils now wide with shock and confusion. Aaron met your gaze with amusement, a sadistic smile dancing on his lips as he pulled his thumb out of your mouth with a pop. "Stupid girl, thinking we'd actually let you cum."
The abrupt contrast between the heights of your pleasure and the stark void that followed was jarring. But before you could comprehend your disappointment, you heard a shuffle behind you followed by footsteps circling you. Spencer finally came back into your line of vision and with no one standing behind you, you tried to push yourself from the table, only to be shoved back down by Aaron.
"Fucking stay where you are," he commanded, his sharp voice piercing right through you. Your eyes were fixed on him, gaze unwavering as he slowly rose from his seat. And then suddenly he was the one behind you, and now Spencer stood right in front of you, looking down at you with amusement.
"You know," he started, his fingers trailing the side of your face. You moved your head away from his touch, but unlike Aaron, he didn't force you to look at him. He merely chuckled as he continued, "You wouldn't be in this position if you had given us the name."
Hearing this, you finally glanced up at him. The self-confidence he carried was starting to annoy you and you couldn't stop yourself from spitting venom, especially when he had ripped away the pleasure thrumming in your body. "I told you to fucking earn it."
The remaining air was knocked from your lungs when the palm of his hand collided with your cheek, your head jolting to the right from the force of the impact. Bright white stars danced behind your closed eyelids, and for a second you thought that you were dizzy from the shock. But then you felt it, the pressure that had been building in your core giving way, a wave of pleasure washing over you.
"Dirty girl," he taunted. "Here I was trying to shut you up and you actually liked that? You like being slapped around?"
You remained quiet, looking away from him.
"And don't worry, you will tell us by the end of this." You faintly hear the sound of metal ringing in your ears. Your eyes fell back on him and your heart sank when his hands moved down to his belt, unbuckling it as he let it hang around his hips.
His fingers moved to unbutton his pants before tugging down the fly. The sight of his hard cock tenting beneath his briefs had your cunt clenching in anticipation, as much as you hated to admit it. Then his thumbs dipped into the hem of his boxers, tugging the fabric down, and you looked up at him with wide eyes. He was bigger than you'd expected. He was thick and solid, veins danced along his length and the droplet of wetness on his tip was too mesmerizing you couldn't look away.
He wrapped a fist around his length, hissing in relief as he made his way towards you. "Now let's put that filthy mouth of yours to good use." He pressed the head of his cock against your lips, half-lidded eyes gazing down at you as he leaned forward. "Open."
The musky scent of him overwhelmed you as you breathed in and you involuntarily opened your mouth wide to accommodate his girth. The flat of your tongue pressed against the underside of his cock as he gave soft, shallow thrusts inside your warm mouth. His fingers held onto your face as he watched his length disappear inside you.
"God, look at youâ" Spencer rasped, his voice sounding strained. "Good fucking girl."
Each roll of his hips has more of his thick cock slipping inside your mouth. His palm moved to the back of your head, holding you steady as he forced his length further down your throat, watching as your cheeks darkened and your eyes watered. Your hands moved up to push at his thighs as you struggled against his grip, the desire to breathe overwhelming as you tried to push him away.
You suddenly felt lightheaded from the lack of oxygen and you began to cough and splutter around him, your throat constricting as the sensation flowed directly through his cock. The sensation made him groan out in pleasure as he finally eased his grip on your head and leaned back, allowing you to breathe as you continued to splutter, drool dripping down your chin as you gulped for much-needed air.
Your head felt delirious. You were too focused on catching your breath when you unexpectedly felt something thick pushing into your cunt in one swift motion, knocking you over as you let out a scream.
"Hotch," Spencer laughed, tightening his grip on your hair while he positioned his cock back onto your lips again. "You shocked her."
Aaron merely grunted a reply as he held onto your hips and started to thrust his cock into you. His thickness sent a ripple of pain between your legs. He was definitely bigger than anyone you'd been with before, your breath coming out in soft, shallow pants as he drove more of himself inside your tightness. Your teeth bit down on your lower lip as a dull ache filled your body, trying to ignore the pain as he continued to stretch your tight heat.
There were no words after that, the room was hazy with desire as the heat built within the small space. The two men focused their attention on your body as you took them at the same time. It was filthy, depraved, and something you'd never done before. You never thought you would be in this position, nor did you think you'd actually enjoy being used like this.
Because you did, you really fucking did. Your entire body felt hot, a scorching fire flowing through your veins as you embraced the sensation, an indescribable pleasure taking over as Aaron's cock curved towards that delicious spot inside you with precision.
Your body was pressed against the table, sweaty and exhausted. It was torture, the way he was slamming his cock inside of you at the pace that left you breathless, it hurt and burned with pleasure at the same time. Each thrust had you hanging on the edge of release, unable to think straight as your mouth continued to mindlessly babble around Spencer's cock.
Every so often he'd hold the back of your head securely so you couldn't move away as he continued to bury himself in your throat. A pleased sound escaped his lips as you started to choke around his girth. It felt like you were starting to drown yourself as he shoved into you ruthlessly. Your lungs cried out for air as you began to feel woozy from the lack of oxygen, desperately trying to breathe through your nose.
"Fuck," he hissed, finally easing his hips back to give you relief. You spluttered as you gasped for air, a mixture of his arousal and your spit dribbled down your chin. "So fucking messy."
You tried to calm your breathing, but it didn't take long for your brain to turn into mush again because Aaron snapped his hips, pulling a moan from your lips as he started a harsh pace. Fingertips dug into your hips as he buried more of himself inside your tightness, your inner walls pulsing around him.
His thrusts were hard and you were certain you'd have marks on your skin from the way he was rutting against you, a dull ache panging inside your lower half. Your mouth fell open in a constant moan as you tried to hold your body up against the table. A throb coursed through you as you tried to hold onto the edge, your breath coming out in harsh pants. You were so desperate for your release, your body so close to coming undone.
"Fuck, Sweetheart, are you going to cum?"
You mumbled out a garbled reply as he continued thrusting into you relentlessly, your fingertips digging into the table as you felt his cock dragging against your inner walls. Aaron grunted at the sensation of you clenching around him. His eyes drifted down to where your bodies were connected and watched the way his cock slid in and out of your tight cunt.
He was on the edge of his release, you could tell by the way he thrust into you desperately. You prepared yourself for your own pleasure, your hips moving involuntarily, meeting his erratic movement, as you seek more friction from him. You whimpered, feeling his fingertips dig into your skin almost painfully and you felt the familiar sensation traveling along your body. Fuck. Fuck yes. You were finally going toâ
A drawn-out whine left your lips when he pulled his cock out from your tight heat. The sudden emptiness had your body shaking violently. It wasn't until you felt a streak of wetness spluttering on your back that you realized he had reached his own high without letting you reach your own.
"Shit," he gasped, slapping your ass as he watched his own liquid seeping down the curve of your back. "That was incredible."
You groaned. Fucking selfish man.
"What was that?"
It then dawned on you that you actually mumbled those words out loud. You shook your head and he groaned at your lack of words. "That didn't sound like nothing."
And suddenly, as if you weighed nothing, he grabbed onto your body and turned you over, pushing you onto your back. You were too weak to even fight him as he shoved your pants off your feet before spreading your legs apart. You watched as he leaned down and a long string of clear liquid fell from his lips toward your cunt, letting it trickle down between your folds.
"Knew you were a slut," he hissed, before straightening himself and tucking his cock back in his pants. Your eyes drifted toward him. He was big, just as big as you felt him inside you. But it wasn't his sheer size that surprised you, it was Spencer standing by your feet that had your heart peaking up its pace. Aaron smirked as he stepped back and Spencer quickly took his place between your legs.
"Look at you still holding back," Aaron taunted, genuine curiosity lacing in his voice as he paced around the room. "You're worn out. You're filthy. Aren't you tired of playing this game?"
You looked over at him tiredly. Amidst the pulsing waves of pleasure coursing through your veins, you fought to maintain your focus. "Y- You haven't done anything m-much to earnâ"
His laughter sent a chill through the room. "Oh, Sweetheart, you think you're winning, but you're not." He then locked his gaze on you. "Trust me, we already have you in the palm of our hands."
You tried retorting back but the once-sharp edges of your concentration began to blur when you felt Spencer's throbbing cock right between your pussy. Each pulse of pleasure sent tremors through your resolve as he eased his hips back to drag the thick, swollen head through your outer lips. His eyes focused on the way you spread for him as though inviting him inside.
"You're already fucked out," Spencer murmured, dragging the tip of his cock through your wetness, feeling it catch against your tight entrance. "Yet look at you swallowing me."
He let the underside of his cock split your folds open, resting it between them snugly as he let out a low groan at the heat radiating from your core. The sinful noise that left your lips had his cock throbbing painfully, the thick veins protruding from his length. He angled your body against him, pushing more of his thick girth inside your trembling body, feeling the way you squeezed around him as he stretched you out.
Spencer pressed his fingers into the curve of your hips as his gaze flickered between your face and his cock splitting you apart. You gasped, your breaths growing more erratic as he managed to push all of his length inside you. He ran his hand over your abdomen as he tried to feel his cock inside you, pressing against your pelvis as he pulsed at the sensation.
"Fuck, baby," he growled, "Taking me so well."
And then he slowly dragged his cock away from you, keeping just the tip in your entrance before plunging back inside in a harsh, jarring movement, jolting you in surprise. You arched your back and tipped your head back in pleasure, just to find Aaron towering above you, looking down at you with an eerie smile.
His fingers trailed down your shoulder blades before they hovered at the buttons on your shirt, slowly unbuttoning them. "I think it's time that you give us a name."
Your body writhed in response to the waves of sensation as you tried to ground yourself. But it was hard to keep thinking straight when he grabbed onto the underlayer of your bra and lifted it over your chest. The way your perky breasts spilled out from beneath the fabric made both men hum in satisfaction.
Calloused palms grabbed onto your breasts and your eyes rolled at the back of your head at the sensation. His thumb brushed against your soft nipple, watching as it began to rise to a stiff peak as he mimicked the action on your other breast, all the while as Spencer began thrusting into your cunt at a painfully slow pace.
"Come on, Sweetheart, don't you want to cum on his cock?"
"Fuck," Spencer grunted, feeling you clench around him. "Keep talking to her."
Aaron chuckled as he continued playing with your breasts. "It's torture, isn't it?" He closed his index finger and thumb around your nipples, pinching ever so gently. You let out a soft sigh and closed your eyes as arousal flushed through you. "Give us a name and we'll give you what you want."
And then you felt Spencer rocking his hips at a steady rhythm, burying himself deeper and deeper before he slowly began increasing his speed. Your body jerked wildly each time he pushed deep into you. Noticing this, his thumb moved to your clit as he pressed messy circles against the sensitive nub, twisting it beneath his calloused pad. It felt too good, so good that you could no longer hold back from moaning out loud.
Your cries of pleasure snapped him into action and his hands moved down to your ass, holding you up to him as he started pounding harder into you. Your head fell back, chest heaving up and down, and that was when you felt Aaron closing his lips around one of your nipples. You writhed, your body thrashing underneath both men. Your senses reeling, the warmth of multiple hands on your skin sent jolts of electricity down your spine, igniting a wildfire of pleasure within you.
Aaron pulled away from you and your eyes flickered open at the loss, only to be met with Spencer hovering above you. Your eyes swept over him, and you looked down where you were joined, watching how his hips moved in constant thrusts. He was enjoying this, you could tell by the way his fingers burned your skin and the occasional grunt escaping his lips.
At the sound of his voice, you looked up at his face, glistening with a sheen of sweat while his messy hair tousling over it. The moment your gazes met each other, something inside you snapped. The muscles in your core began to coil, tightening and constricting around him right as your climax slowly pushed through the fog inside your head. Spencer felt it too, and he suddenly slowed his pace, throwing you a cunning smile.
You felt your resistance starting to crumble. The intensity of your pleasure grew almost unbearable, and you could no longer deny it. Your eyes welled with tears at the overwhelming sensation, and the thought of having your orgasm ripped again from you seemed like another torture you didn't want to endure.
You were going to regret this. You definitely would. But you couldn't dwell on the consequences of your actions when desperation coursed through you like a fever, an all-consuming hunger that you couldn't deny. Your body ached for release and craved it with an intensity that was maddening.Â
Your breath came in ragged gasps, and then your eyes, wide and filled with desperation, pleaded with him silently as you found yourself finally giving in, muttering a name you had tried to keep to yourself. A name involved in the crime these men had been pestering you for. A name that had Aaron smirking devilishly as he leaned over to you, brushing his knuckles on your cheek in a caress that was so foreign.
"Good girl," he mumbled, his voice lacing with satisfaction at the way you finally crumbled. He was right, you were already in the palms of their hands, it was simply a matter of time until you caved in. "Good fucking girl."
Once you surrendered, you couldn't stop the whine falling through your lips. Your desperate moan rang deeply in the room, snapping something primal inside Spencer, and he trusted his hips into you roughly. A gasp escaped your lips, legs falling open wider as he split you wider than you already were.
Your mind went absolutely numb with pleasure as he kept rutting up inside you, your body becoming nothing more than a mess, overtaken by a wave of sweat and erotic bliss. You felt yourself trembling, your breathing becoming more ragged as his thrusts became sloppier.
âFucking hell,â he grunted, noticing the way your mouth fell open as pleasure engulfed you. "That's it, baby, let me fuck you dumb."
You cried out, babbling incoherent sentences as he thrust harder, grabbing your hips and tilting into you slightly, making him go even deeper as he moved with you.
"Go on, cum on my cock," he growled breathlessly through his rapid pounding. "Let me feel you."
âFuckââ You cried out for him, your overstimulated body shaking beneath him. Wave after wave of pleasure came rushing through your body, erupting in the most intense way. He watched the way you convulsed beneath him in your release, watching the way a white, sticky liquid circled his cock every time his skin brushed your inner walls. His thumb was unrelenting against your clit and you tried to angle your body away from his touch, the pleasure too intense as your lower half throbbed around him.
You continued to clench around him between your bliss, your legs trembling from the position as he arched his back, focusing the power of his thrusts straight into your tightness. A shiver burst through you at the sensation. And with one final thrust, his whole body tensed. He pushed forward, burying his cock in your soft, warm cunt, spreading his warmth in much slower and shallow rolls of his hips.
You were breathing hard, trying to regain your composure, and a moan left your lips when he finally pulled out. Cringing at the fluid slowly leaking out of you, you tried to close your legs only to be stopped as he gripped the back of your thighs, spreading your legs apart to expose your body. You were so wonderfully disheveled, your cunt clenching around nothing, gleaming with your arousal and his own release.
âLook at the mess you made." Piercing eyes watched you as white liquid trickled down your ass. A feeble mewl left your lips as his thick fingers moved down to catch it, deliberately pressing against your folds as you wriggled in his grasp. A laugh left his lips as he dragged the string of wetness along your sex, pushing it back inside you.
"I think I ruined her."
Aaron's laughter filled the room, and just as you were about to push yourself off the table, you felt him grasping both of your hands, pushing them above your head. Your eyes widened in shock. "Wh-what are you doing?"
Then you felt it, the cool metal wrapped around your wrist, sinking into the flesh of your skin as you tried to move from his grip. An unexpected panic surged within you. "Sweetheart, we know you're involved in more than one crime." The soft click of the metal lock was loud in your ears. "You need to give us more names."
Your body, still tingling with the aftershocks of pleasure, now felt more exposed than ever. You looked up to find both men staring down at you, and at very moment, you realized, as you felt the handcuffs digging into your wrist, that you were going to be here for a very long time.
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x reader smut#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds smut
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There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.
I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.
First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).
But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.
"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."
(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)
However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.
No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.
"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."
"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."
See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.
It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.
And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.
He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.
So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.
This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."
If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.
Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.
He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.
All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.
God tier characterization, 10/10.
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soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3
i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.
It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.
The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.
City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.
Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.
look at him
Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.
Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.
the latin text all over them is just a part of their design
The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.
no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does
That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.
sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.
He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.
few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it
The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what.
creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)
Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.
they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.
this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.
Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.
There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.
Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3
#art#oc#yourenotsupposedtobehere#ynstbh#i keep repeating to myself that i'm cringe but i'm free - it's so hard to share a story from your head without feeling cringe lol#but i'm also kinda proud that i made it this far and haven't burned out yet#before i thought that i couldn't make anything original with this empty head of mine#i'm gonna keep this as a pinned post for a while
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Chiron persona chart obs
WARNING: BRIEF MENTIONS OF ED, S*ICIDE, S*XUAL AB*SE. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND NOT TO READ THIS POST IF YOU'RE VERY SENSITIVE thank you
Stelliums show us where our main trauma or wound lies:
Stellium in Aries/1st house - body image issues/body dysmorphia, hating ones face and wanting to change it at all cost, being so focused on ones trauma that it results in excessive independence
Stellium in Taurus/2nd house - self worth issues, hating ones voice and/or being made fun of for how ones voice sounds, excessive shopping due to fear of having nothing, having stash of cash hidden everywhere in the house due to being scared of getting robbed
Stellium in Gemini/3rd house - being too scared to speak to others, hating the way you express yourself, being an overachiever at school due to fear of being seen as "stupid", fear of being run over by a bicycle or a car
Stellium in Cancer/4rd house - family problems (divorced parents, one of the parents is out of the picture for whatever reason, family members dealing with addictions, family abuse), issues when it comes to comforting yourself in times of crisis, HEAVY abandonment issues
Stellium in Leo/5th house - had to grow up too fast instead of enjoying childhood, fear of not being "the perfect parent", fear of not making it in the industry (for those pursing creative careers or following their passions), issues regarding getting pregnant and delivering a child, fear of being burned by the sun or by fire
Stellium in Virog/6th house - fear of contacting an incurable disease, issues regarding eating disorders, trauma regarding messy spaces, which results in OCD
Stellium in Libra/7th house - issues caused by getting cheated in a relationship, fear of trusting someone in a one-on-one connection, trauma resulted from business affairs which have gone wrong
Stellium in Scoprio/8th house - fear of death, issues caused by sexual trauma/sexual abuse, grooming, stalking, human trafficking, mysterious disappearances, divorce, taxes, loans
Stellium in Sagittarius/9th house - fear of not being able to experience everything one has always wanted, issues caused by not living to ones full potential, fear of travelling too far away, religious trauma
Stellium in Capricorn/10th house - fear of being forgotten and not standing out, issues regarding not looking & acting in a professional manner when needed, fear of not being promoted in ones career, the trauma is very visible to the public
Stellium in Aquarius/11th house - fear of not fitting in a crowd or a friend group, issues regarding being part of LGBTQ+ or a subculture often dismissed (POC, people with disabilities, orphanage kids, emos), trauma related to the country's government and (possible) implications in war, fear of dying in a natural disaster (earthquake, tsunami, volcano), fear of dying by electrocution or in an airplane crash
Stellium in Pisces/12th house - fear of being admitted to a prison, asylum or nursing home, having frequent thoughts of unaliving onself, fear of drowning, fear of what happens after death, fear of being misunderstood or made fun of for hearing voices and seeing things which aren't real
Moon shows us how we process our trauma and wounds:
Moon in Aries/1st house : screams, throws things around (maybe also breaks a few things), if anyone reminds them of their wounds/traumas, they'd literally break that person's neck; they might recklessly drive, play with fire or drink excessively out of anger
Moon in Taurus/2nd house : resorts to retail therapy, cooks their favourite meals, gets some comfy pillow and blankets and watches their favourite show; they're slow to heal their wounds, but they manage to do so
Moon in Gemini/3rd house : overanalyzes what happened to the point that they've thought of every scenario possible, (if they have more than one wound/trauma) switches between wounds, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with siblings and acquaintances
Moon in Cancer/4th house : cries 24/7, acts distant with people who are not close to them and defensive with those who want to talk about their feelings; they tend to have very, very unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka they resort to self-harm)
Moon in Leo/5th house : transforms their pain & wounds into a form of art - whether it's through dancing, painting, singing, acting, photography, videography; sometimes they might not recognize how much their past affects them, especially around others, they boast about how "it wasn't that bad" even though they're clearly affected by what happened
Moon in Virgo/6th house : focuses on the details, what they could have done better and what they didn't, easily becomes anxious, cleaning the house becomes a form of therapy for them; in case of physical wounds, they document themselves very well (sometimes they are even able to heal themselves, since this Moon sign in Chiron persona chart has a sort of 6th sense about medicinal procedures)
Moon in Libra/7th house : their s/o knows every pain, wound and traumas they've ever experienced, analyzes the past in a logical manner and tries to find a healthy coping mechanism, without hurting anyone else in the process; listens to sad, romantic songs
Moon in Scorpio/8th house : if someone else is guilty for their wounds/traumas, they're going to plot revenge and execute their plan in a discreet manner; often jealous, they might pursue fwb connections to stop thinking about their pain; the ones who manage to deal with their past in a healthy manner become a completely different person in the process
Moon in Sagittarius/9th house : dealing with their wounds/traumas opens a new world for them, they end up adopting a new set of beliefs as a coping mechanism, travelling to another country to get some space from their surroundings helps them heal
Moon in Capricorn/10th house : replays the past over and over again, they numb their emotions, if asked about their wounds/traumas, they answer very stoic; they also tend to be more realistic and don't like to tell themselves lies or hear lies about their trauma
Moon in Aquarius/11th house : resorts to technology to cope with the pain, is usually open about their wounds and traumas with their friends or on social media, but not with family; they might try some unusual coping mechanisms
Moon in Pisces/12th house : they isolate themselves from everyone in order to cope with the pain, meditation and breathing techniques are their to-go methods of calming their anxiety down; if they don't manage to cope in a healthy way, they dissociate and go through a depersonalization process or an addiction takes over them (drinking, smoking, they overuse medication etc.)
Jupiter shows us where we're blessed, but fail to see. The stronger the modality, the more obvious it is to other people.
â Jupiter in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and/or fixed houses (2nd house, 5th house, 8th house, 11th house) are extremely blessed and everyone is able to notice, but the native.
â Jupiter in cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and/or cardinal houses (1st house, 4th house, 7th house, 11th house) are blessed, but only a specific category of people notice it.
â Jupiter in mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces) and/or mutable houses (3rd house, 6th house, 9th house, 12th house) are still blessed, but the effect is hardly noticeable to anyone.
Those with:
Grand Trine/Kite/Yod (Finger of God)
Sun, Jupiter, North Node and ruler of the chart conjuncting MC and/or placed in 10th/11th house (minimum 2 placements)
Stellium in 10th house/11th house
-> have got amazing healing abilites and often end up pursuing careers where they help & heal society (usually as doctors, therapists, spiritual advisors, social workers, advocates who actually make a difference, etc.) They usually become famous for their healing gifts.
Other small considerations:
Ascendant shows us how we are perceived at first glance when we are dealing with pain
IC shows us how we are perceived by our family (or in a safe, secluded place) when we are dealing with pain
DSC shows us how we are perceived by our partner or best friend when we are dealing with pain
MC shows us how we are perceived in public (or in our career) when we are dealing with pain
North Node shows us our salvation (where we need to focus on in order to heal)
đ Sun trine Moon & Sun sextile Moon individuals have an easier time healing their traumas and wounds
đ Sun opposite Saturn & Sun square Saturn individuals feel the need to rebel from their father/grandparents, norms that have been imposed on them, old customs & traditions, institutions/government, in order to heal themselves
#astro#astro community#astrology#astro placements#astro observations#astro posts#astroblr#astro blog#astro notes#persona chart#chiron#chiron persona chart
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chemical override (12)
Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader
a/n: see that up there? He's a good fella. He's not going to fumble this time.
series masterlist âȘïž main masterlist
The Mallorca getaway continues. Ewan takes on a new approach when it comes to winning you back. With flirty dares and rising tensions, will you be any closer to making a choice?
The news barely needed any time to settle.Â
It spread like wildfire, from those with professional connections in Hollywood to casual celebrity gossip enjoyers. In less than an hour after the first batch of headlines broke out, it was clearâBruce Haversham is now an industry pariah.Â
It was yesterday when Ewan rejoined the group by the pool, a strange look in his eyes. Before Phia could finish asking if something was wrong, Freddie exclaimed a very surprised, âWhat the fuck?â as he scanned his phone, and the rest was history.Â
The following morning, the villa gradually wakes to meet the sunrise.Â
The place screams simple luxury, with the interiors painted in a standard white and cyan, lush potted plants stretching tall in the corners. There are eight bedrooms and four full bathrooms, so your large group split up as desired.Â
Youâre sharing a room with Phia and Liv, which means that Phia has gladly taken the role of being your personal alarm clock.Â
You are already awake when you feel her breathing in your ear. You crack open an eye and see her leaning over your bed, a wide grin stretched across her lips. âDay three!â she squeals. âRise and shiiiine. Buenos dias!â
You groan halfheartedly. Itâs impossible to be grumpy even in this hour when Phia acts like itâs going to be the best day ever. Like the day before that. And the day before. And pretty much every day since youâve met her.Â
âWhat time is it?â you croak, rubbing sleep from your eyes.
â6:30,â she happily chirps. âItâs our turn to make breakfast.â
Some of the boys volunteered to be the chefs yesterday, and the highlights were Freddie and Mattâs spaghetti bolognese, and Ewanâs sparkling sangria.
You remember telling Emma in the late afternoon that youâve never tried sangria and youâve always wanted to, but surely thatâs not the reason why Ewan chose to make that drink for dinner. But you knew he had been lounging around, always within sight of you.Â
He almost never stays far from you.Â
When you make your way into the kitchen, most of the girls are already busy. Pots and pans hiss and smoke on the stove, filling the air with the scent of cooking.
âWe bought ingredients for pancakes, right?â you ask, shuffling through the cupboards.Â
âOf course we did,â Liv replies, as she slices and carefully arranges fruits on a platter.Â
âStacks of pancakes coming right up!â you say, mustering some of Phiaâs early morning enthusiasm.Â
âOh, I could kiss you,â Liv preens.Â
A few minutes into your process, you hear gasps in the room. You donât turn right away, knowing that with your group, it could be anything. From something as simple as juice spilling, or Fabien suddenly going bald. A flock of actors will be dramatic.Â
But someone barks out, âEwan! Youâre not supposed to be in the kitchen.â
âLet us girls cook in peace. Youâll get your turn again tomorrow,â Phia scolds.Â
Your breath hitches as you suddenly feel someone standing right behind you. âGood morning, darling,â Ewanâs voice rumbles softly, and you turn to find that he has moved closer, his hand propped on the kitchen counter by your waist. âAre you making pancakes? Iâd love to help.â
âDo you want his help?â Bethany questions you plainly.
Ewan shuffles to your side, casually leaning against the counter as he looks at you, his brows raised as he bites his lip in a cheeky manner that sends your pulse skittering.Â
âI⊠I wouldnât mind,â you stammer, and he turns to the rest of the girls to give them a what-can-you-do shrug.
âFine,â Phia relents with a knowing smile, throwing you a wink that is impossible to miss.Â
Ewan proves to be a good sous chef, taking note of your remarks, and sticking to the steps you laid out. To be fair, you donât even have to say much, the both of you falling right into a comfortable rhythm. He hands you the right ingredients without missing a beat. The wide kitchen is filled with the soothing noises of cooking and soft chatter, but your focus is zeroed in on the effortless system that you have going with Ewan.Â
Itâs simple. Itâs calm and domestic. It reminds you of a time long gone, when you were dating in LA, spending nearly every waking moment with each other. Before everything got so⊠complicated.
He stands by while you ladle some pancake batter onto the griddle. Heâs there, but you miss him.
âYou okay, darling?â he ducks his head so only you can hear. âDid you not sleep well?â
You find concern etched in his features. âYeah, Iâm okay. Just⊠thinking, I guess.â
âOh, yeah? Whatâs going on in that beautiful head of yours?â
Ewan knows you well, so does he know that youâre worried about his nonchalance at what happened to Bruce? The PR arrangement is effectively scrapped, which means that the biggest hurdle that once stood between you and him is no more.Â
Heâs always been so forward and upfront about his feelings, but why does it feel like nothing has happened? Like nothing has changed?Â
Perhaps the distance that you enforced has become too wide to manage, and he has lost interest? His brow furrows when you donât answer, and his hand gently squeezes above your elbow. âHey,â he whispers, trying to catch your attention, âwhatâs wrong, darling?â
Okay. Maybe he hasnât completely lost interest. But still.Â
âNothing,â you shake your head. âBut, how are you doing? With all the drama surrounding Bruce and all that?â
âWell, heâs out of the project. And weâre all glad for it.â
âThatâs good.â You flip a pancake too late, slightly burning one side.
You rock back on your heels as you wait, and you turn to find Ewan watching you with an unreadable look in his eyes, his lips curling in that signature Ewan way that can mean everything and nothing at all.Â
âWhat?â you finally ask.Â
âNothing,â he shakes his head, mirroring your tone from earlier, one that fails to mask the thoughts swirling in his mind. âI appreciate your concern, my love. Thank you for asking.â
âNo problem,â you say softly, clearing your throat to be heard better. âIâm happy youâre done with that asshole and his unfair demands.â
âYeah,â he nods. His face is so close to yours that you can spot the tiny flecks of yellow in his blue eyes. His eyes dart to the side, then back to you. âDarling?â
âMmm?â
âI know Iâm just your humble assistantââ He clutches his chest in a playful gesture, smirking knowingly. ââbut I think that pancake has turned to stone.â
âOh, shit!â You hurriedly take it out of the griddle, but heâs right. Even its sides are charcoal-coloured. You groan at your shoddy work, putting it aside to be tossed to the bin later, as Ewanâthe cheeky buggerâlaughs openly at your distress.Â
âAlright, alright.â You roll your eyes at him. You should be annoyed, but how can you, when this moment feels like a vivid snapshot of a better time?Â
You can pretend that you donât care for it, but whatâs the point? Even after all this time, and everything youâve been through together, and apart.Â
Always.Â
âEwan,â you say, trying to keep a straight face, and failing, âletâs just keep going, okay? And no more accidents. Weâre not going to poison everybody.â
âIt wasnât my fault.â
âYes, it was.â
âHow so?â
âYou were⊠being distracting.â
He tilts his head, and stares at you so intensely that you have to turn back to the griddle. As you should, anyway. Oh, if smugness had a faceâŠÂ
The stack becomes higher, then multiplies into two, three⊠The whole time, the skip in your heartbeat becomes more and more impossible to ignore. Once again, youâre that newbie actress, that girl with a crush, who had to spend an entire day doing press with the Ewan Mitchell.Â
Your Ewan, who can level you with just a glance.Â
âOkay,â you exhale. âJust a few more, then weâre done. And pleaseâquit looking at me.â
âWhat?â Ewan shifts away, as if he hadnât just spent the last ten minutes with his eyes glued to you for no particular reason. âI canât look at you? You know I would do anything for you, darling, but thatâs kind of an impossible request.â
âOh my god,â Phia's voice inserts itself in the moment, causing you and Ewan to turn around sharply. It is only then that you notice that everyone has gone out to the patio, judging by the source of the ruckus.Â
Phia stands there, cool as a cucumber with a glass of juice in one hand, wagging her eyebrows when you make eye contact. âEwan⊠justâŠugh.â
âWhat?â Ewan snorts at her faux frustration.
She shakes her head for a few seconds, before landing on, âYouâre impossible. I canât deal with you two. I just canât.â She then walks away, only pausing briefly to remark, âAt least those bloody pancakes were made with love.â
Ewan begins arranging the pancakes to take out to the dining area in the patio, while you tidy up the mess. Itâs not long before the rest of the lads come thundering down the stairs, still disheveled and groggy from sleep.Â
âTime for breakfast,â Ewan remarks as you finish your work, his hand drifting to the small of your back, sending warmth radiating through your skin.
Inevitably, youâre once again caught up in a moment where he is all there is, and you wish he would just make some comment on where things stand between the two of you. Some reassurance, something more than flirtatious remarks and fleeting touches.Â
But a new arrival in the kitchen melts the moment away.
âGood morning.â Itâs Matt, leaning casually against the wall.Â
Your face heats up in shame. You have been so preoccupied with Ewan and the state of your relationship with him, that you forgot to factor in Matty. The sweetheart youâre technically dating, who has been nothing but good to you.
He walks over, planting a quick kiss on your cheek, his hand resting on the small of your back, mirroring where Ewanâs had been moments before.
âSmells good in here,â Matt says, his voice easy. âYou two make a good team in the kitchen, huh?â
Ewanâs smile tightens, his hands slipping into his pockets. âJust trying to keep up, mate. You know how it is.â
âWell, Iâm looking forward to those pancakes.â Matt winks at you, completely oblivious to the storm brewing in your mind, then heads toward the patio, leaving you and Ewan standing awkwardly in the kitchen.
Ewan clears his throat, glancing at you with a look you canât quite decipher, but it gets your heart racing all the same. âWe shouldââ he gestures toward the pancakes, his voice softer now. âWe should take these out.âÂ
You nod, meeting his eyes. âWe should.â
He stands still, brows furrowing for a moment as he continues to gaze at you, before the muscles in his face release their tension. His eyes soften, and his lips pull into a gentle smile. âHmm.â He hums to himself, like he has realised something.Â
âWhat is it?â Your curiosity gets the better of you.
âI always thought you look your best in the mornings, when your hairâs a bit mussed, and youâre fresh from sleep, and youâre just⊠you.â
âOh.â
âBut then again,â he says, as he takes the pancakes, balancing one full plate in each hand, âWhen are you not beautiful, darling?â He smiles sweetly, before turning on his heel and walking away.
A long moment passes before your heart starts working again.Â
The late afternoon sun casts a golden glow over the villa, and everyone is scattered on the property. Youâre sitting with Liv, Bella, and Phoebe by the pool, sipping on fresh juice and exchanging stories.Â
Then, from the entrance, you hear the unmistakable sound of wheels crunching over gravel, followed by the final rev of a car engine. The rest of the guests have arrived.Â
Itâs Luke who bounds out first, his arms thrown wide as he hollers, âThe partyâs here, baby!â
âLad!â Phia calls out, running up to greet him with a warm hug, âYouâre late, as usual.â
âFashionably late,â he grins, patting her back and winking at you as he catches your eye.
Harry and Elliott follow close behind, totally at ease, pulling their suitcases and nodding toward the group. Behind them is Milly, who practically jumps out of the car. Sheâs all smiles, her bubbly personality lighting up the space in an instant. She hugs everyone in quick succession, her laughter ringing out as she quickly finds something to tease Fabien about.
But itâs the last arrival that makes your heart plummet.
Louise steps out of the SUV, dressed casually but effortlessly put together, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders. Louise, Luke and Eliottâs cousin who was spotted with Ewan ages ago, just before you and him began dating. It was the usual paparazzi blunder, and Ewan profusely swore that nothing actually happened, with the twins quick to vouch for him.Â
But she glances around, her eyes scanning the villa before landing on Ewan, who stands just a few away, watching quietly. She makes a beeline for him, leaning in for a quick, friendly kiss on the cheek. âHey, Ewan. Miss me?â
Your chest tightens.
Ewanâs smile is polite and restrained, but it doesnât escape your notice how he subtly steps back, keeping a respectful distance between them. âGood to see you, Lou,â he greets evenly, though his gaze flickers toward you for the briefest of moments. Itâs subtleâno one else would noticeâbut you do.Â
âWhy is it so bloody hot out here?â Elliott exclaims, catching your attention.Â
As everyone catches up with each other, the space is filled with chatter and laughter. But despite the chaos, your attention keeps getting pulled back to Ewan and Louise. Sheâs standing close to him, not too close, but enough that it feels like a deliberate choice on her part. Her smile is bright, and her hand occasionally brushes his arm when she laughs.
Which she does too often. Ewanâs a witty guy and all, but what could there be to laugh wildly about every ten seconds?Â
You canât help the pang of jealousy that twists in your gut. She looks like someone who would have Instagram, and judging by the way she ogles your boyfrâ
By the way she ogles Ewan, she would be aware of his doings on that godforsaken app. She would have definitely seenâno, stalkedâhis profile back when it was still up, seeing his tributes to you.Â
Wasnât this supposed to be a holiday? You tell yourself to relax your nerves, which are currently set on edge.Â
Matt appears at your side, wrapping an arm around your waist, as he plants a soft kiss on your temple. âYou okay?â he asks, his voice enough to soothe you for a while.Â
âIâm good,â you nod, forcing a smile.Â
Ewan catches your gaze, before his eyes drop down to Mattâs arm around you. The smallest sense of victory washes over you as his jaw clenches in obvious irritation. But itâs fleeting, gone too soon, when he looks away and slips back into conversation with Louise.Â
The rest of the arrivals gather their bags and start making their way inside, talking about what to do for dinner, and where to go tonight.
The party has just begun.Â
The hour is late when the group gradually comes together in a circle, much like kids forming around a campfire. Fabien and Bella balance large plastic bowls of snacks in each arm. Meanwhile, Rhys and Tom stagger into the scene, with a full load of six-packs and wine bottles. The rest of the group follow suit, trickling in with a chorus of laughter and shared whispers.Â
The circle tightens, everyone jostling for a seat, with some sprawled on blankets, while others perch on low adirondack chairs. Itâs chaotic, but itâs the kind of chaos Ewan doesnât mind, with the cast being like family to him.Â
He feels your presence like a magnet, drawing him in despite everything going on. The moment you step into the circle, his heart stumbles. As it always does, without fail.Â
Youâre wearing a long and flowy, green summer dress, with your hair delicately pulled away from your face. Itâs simple, effortless, but Ewan thinks youâre the prettiest person in every room.Â
You hesitate, and Ewanâs hand moves on instinctâstretching out to the space next to him on the blanket, a silent offer. For a split second, he sees you acquiesce, taking a half-step toward him.
But just as you begin to shift in his direction, before you can make a move, Matt reaches out from his spot at the edge of the circle, snatching your wrist like itâs the most natural thing in the world. His laugh is low and teasing as he effortlessly pulls you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around you in a warm embrace, like he owns you.Â
Ewan takes several deep breaths, trying to fight the surge of jealousy rising up a tidal wave. He tries to be patient, to play this right. But watching Matt hold you like that, hearing him call you my love in that careless, confident wayâitâs almost enough to make Ewan snap, pull you aside, and beg for things to go back to the way they were.
When he had you, and you had him, in every sense of the word. Back in LA, when being in love was enough.Â
Instead, Ewan leans back, forcing himself to look relaxed. But his eyes remain locked on you. When Mattâs fingers trace along your arm, you steal another glance at Ewan, like youâre checking and wondering if heâll say something, do something.Â
But he wonât. Not yet. Not until you decide.Â
Ewan has been patient because he has to be. Things have to go right, because he wants you for good, not just for now. So he lets it happen; he lets you keep pretending. But he makes sure that you know heâs there, watching you, waiting for you.Â
Rhys pops open another beer, tossing one to Tom, who nearly fumbles it. Laughter breaks out across the group, as everyone settles into their places.Â
For all the commotion, all Ewan sees is you.Â
Fabien sits to his left and hands him a beer. Suddenly, Louise drops into the empty spot beside him.Â
âHey, stranger,â she says, her voice playful as she nudges Ewanâs arm. âI barely saw you all afternoon. You avoiding me or something?â Sheâs got that look in her eyes, and he knows exactly what sheâs doing. Now, with Matt monopolising your attention, sheâs moving in.
âCourse not,â Ewan replies casually.Â
âYouâve been quiet tonight,â she continues, smiling sweetly.
âJust taking it all in,â he says, keeping his voice neutral. He feels the weight of your gaze from across the circle, but he stops himself from looking at you.Â
âTaking it all in, huh?â she laughs softly. âWellâhandsomeâif you donât mind, could you pass me a beer?â
Her hand brushes his as he passes her a bottle, and he catches your reaction in his peripheral vision. Your body stiffens slightly, your smile faltering for a split second before you force it back into place. But Ewan knows you too well. Youâre not okay with this.
And that gives him just the slightest bit of satisfaction.Â
The circle carries on drinking, throwing quips, and even pillows, with Elliott throwing the cushion by his arse to Freddie after a particularly passionate round of banter. Then itâs time to play a game, brought on by the kind of reckless energy that results when everyone has had a little too much to drink.
âAlright, you lot,â Phoebe says, dragging over two makeshift bowls of rolled-up pieces of paperâone for truths and one for daresâthe girlsâ project for the afternoon. She places it haphazardly in the centre of the circle. âRules are simple: spin the bottle, pick a truth or dare from the bowl. No wimping out, no lame excuses.â
Matt chuckles, adjusting you slightly in his lap, his arm still casually draped over your thighs as you sit sideways on the chair, your feet propped on the armrest. Youâve been nursing the same glass of wine for a while now, but Ewan can tell by the glint in your eyes that itâs starting to hit you.Â
Itâs hitting him too.
The bottle spins wildly, its glossy surface catching the firelight as it circles through the group.Â
Matt is up first. The bottle stops, pointing at him like it was meant to.
âTruth,â he says, his voice confident, his smirk ever-present as he reaches out to pull from the bowl. He reads aloud, âWho has the best hair?â
Tom is quick to warn, âAnd it canât be the girl in your lap! No brownie points for trying to get lucky, mate.â
Matt doesnât miss a beat. He leans forward, that cocky grin still in place. âOh, Iâm already lucky,â he says, earning oohs and ahhs from the group. You blush, but thereâs a cautious edge to your smile, and Ewan can tell youâre wondering how heâs taking all this.
He pretends not to care.
âOh, come on, Matty!â Bella shouts. âPick someone.â
Matt surveys the group, dragging it out like heâs milking the moment. His eyes finally land on Olivia, whoâs been watching him like a hawk, and he says, âAlright, Miss Cooke has the best hair. Hands down.â
âDamn right I do,â Olivia says, shaking her dark curls with a dramatic flourish, and the group erupts into more laughter.Â
The bottle spins again. This time it lands on Ewan.Â
âDare,â he says, trying to avoid the inevitable where he plays it safe and picks truth, but then gets egged on the alternative. They would push the quiet, shy guy to let loose. It is his birthday getaway after all.Â
He fishes a slip from the dare bowl, and as he almost canât believe the words scrawled on the paper. Oh fuck.
âWell, what does it say?â Emma asks.
Ewan swallows nervously. âUhhh, well, it says kiss the person to your right.â
To his right is Louise.
Of course itâs bloody Louise. He should have picked truth. Why did he have to choose now as an exercise of confidence? Why?Â
He canât help but glance at you on instinct, but your expression is unreadable.Â
Louise, for her part, is already leaning in, that smirk of hers so smug it makes Ewanâs teeth clench. Everyoneâs watching. Thereâs no way out of this. He can feel Mattâs eyes drilling into the back of his skull, like heâs waiting for him to mess up.Â
Ewan leans in, pressing a light kiss to Louiseâs lipsâmeant to be barely more than a brush, but she pushes forward, making it last longer than he would like. The heat of her lips lingers when he pulls back in a flash. His ears ring with enthusiastic catcalls from the group.
He clears his throat uncomfortably, and he canât bear to look at you this time.
Before anyone can say anything, the bottle is spinning again.Â
It lands on you.Â
âDare,â you say, your voice just a bit too steady. When youâve chosen, you dramatically read aloud, âKiss⊠the person on your left.â
And itâs Freddie.
The second you realise who it is, there is the tiniest flicker of hesitation in your expression.
Freddie raises his eyebrows, smirking like the cheeky bastard he is, leaning back on his elbows as if heâs some kind of prize. âWell, well, wellâŠâ he teases, making a big show of puckering his lips. âHappy birthday to me.â
Everyoneâs laughing and spurring you on, the group feeding off the chaotic energy of the night. So you unperch yourself from Mattâs lap, lean over the side of the chair, and kiss Freddie.Â
Itâs quick, almost as if you want it over before anyone can really react, but Freddie leans into it, his hand cupping the back of your neck. Ewanâs stomach twists as he watches, and he knows he shouldnât care so much. Itâs just a bloody game, it doesnât mean anything.Â
But it hits him harder than he wants to admit.
Freddieâbeing the showman that he isâmakes a big deal of it, making an exaggerated gesture as if youâd left him breathless. âI think Iâm in love,â he jokes, throwing a wink in Mattâs direction.Â
Ewan downs the rest of his beer, the bitterness coating his throat, but it does nothing to quench the fire building in his chest. The jealousy gnaws at him, and he hopes to all that is holy that you donât have to kiss anyone else for the game. Unless itâs him.
Then it wonât just be a friendly peck. It wonât just last two seconds. He will kiss you in front of everyone, claiming you, like his life depends on it.Â
And that wonât just be on the booze.Â
The game goes on, but he barely registers the next few rounds. Louise shifts closer to him, her hand casually resting on his knee. She leans in, her breath hot against his ear as she says, âI didnât mind that kiss, you know.â
He doesnât respond right away, too caught up in the sight of you laughing at something Matt says to Freddie. You look happy, but itâs all wrong. That laugh used to be Ewanâs.
âStill taking it all in?â Louise asks, her voice dripping with suggestion.
âSomething like that,â Ewan sharply responds. Either she hasnât yet gotten the hint that heâs not interested, or she has and simply doesnât care, because she asks him another question, squeezing his knee.
And he lets her. Because what else can he do?
The night has a pulse of its own. It starts off slow, a lazy hum of conversations, but soon escalates into something wilder.
Itâs hard not to feel electricity thrumming under your skin, not only from the alcohol, but from every look Ewan throws at you across the circle, watching as Mattâs arms stay anchored around you.
Ever since the news about Bruce came out, Matt has been noticeably more bold and doting. It's as if the shift in your relationship with Ewan has sparked something in him â his romantic gestures more frequent, his touch lingering just a bit longer. Where he once might have hung back, now he openly claims your attention, as though daring anyone to challenge his place in your world.Â
"Looks like youâre sitting here tonight, my love," Matt had whispered low in your ear, when he pulled you onto his lap, his breath warm and smelling of whiskey against your skin.Â
The night spirals even further when a game is proposed. Phia, Bella, and Phoebe had been the ones to come up with the prompts for truth or dare, so you couldnât have predicted what follows.Â
When Matt is made to choose someone else for his question, the possessive way with which he murmurs, âOh, Iâm already lucky,â sends a flush to your cheeks. You notice that Ewan is under tension when you meet his gaze, judging by the stiffness of his shoulders and the subtle tick of his jaw.
Next, itâs Ewanâs turn. Youâre mildly surprised when he chooses dare, with that brazen look on his face. You wait eagerly, to see what tricks he has up his sleeve, but your heart plummets when he reads his prompt.Â
He has to kiss the person on his right, which conveniently happens to be Louise. She is instantly giddy, grinning like she won the lottery. Sheâs been eyeing him all night, leaning in a little too close for your liking.
Ewan hesitates, just for a second, his eyes flickering over to you as if to ask permission. You donât move a muscle, your breath caught in your throat when he finally leans in to give Louise a kiss.Â
Damn if it doesnât feel like a punch to your gut. The group erupts into cheers, and you play along, even though jealousy rises like bile in your throat.Â
The bottle spins again, and time seems to slow. When it finally comes to rest, itâs pointing right at you.Â
Youâre then prompted to kiss the person on your leftâFreddie.Â
His flawless grin eases your nerves, and keeps you from worrying about how Ewanâs eyes flash with something territorial. The kiss is over as soon as it started, but everyone reacts as if they just witnessed a full-on makeout session.
The game moves on, more dares, more truths, the atmosphere becoming more unhinged with every spin of the bottle. Tom has to shotgun a beer in under ten seconds, which he does to wild applause. Emma serenades their closest friend in the circle, which just so happens to be Liv. Bella is asked who her celebrity crush is, and she gives her boyfriend Fabien as the answer, who is a celebrity after all.Â
Then the bottle lands on you again.
âDare,â you say, the word slipping out before you can second-guess it. You pull out a slip from the bowl, reading, âCall up an admirer, someone famous whoâs asked you out.â
The group hums among themselves, looking at you questioningly.Â
âWell,â you say after a few seconds, your heart racing. âI guess⊠thereâs⊠Glen?â
There are some gasps, some woohoos, and you feel Matt shift beside you, clearing his throat to ask, âGlen Powell?â Ewan, meanwhile, sits a little straighter across the circle. He knows this already. This was in August of last year, when both of you were in LA. You got a referral to join the notorious Alo gym, where you linked up with Tate Mcrae, Jake Shane, and Glen, and they became your workout crew.Â
Glen easily caught your eye, of course, as he does with anyone. But you turned him down because of Ewan. You remained friends, and your little Alo crew still regularly catches up on a group chat, which is brilliantly called Jakeâs Shakes.Â
âOh, Glen Powell,â Bethany squeals. âYou have to call him!â
You fumble for your phone, the glare of the screen hurting your eyes briefly. You feel a bit woozy, but maybe itâs just the pressure mounting as everyoneâs eyes bore into you.Â
With shaky fingers, you scroll through your contacts, finding Glenâs number. Thereâs a second of hesitation, and then you hit call, turning on the speaker option.
You could practically hear a pin drop, as the group is silent for the first time throughout the night.
The phone rings just thrice before he answers.Â
âHey there,â Glenâs voice is warm and playful on the other end of the line.
âHi, Glen,â you say, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. âHow are you doing?â
âWould you believe me if I said Iâm just sitting here waiting for a call from you?â
The group erupts into hushed laughter, and you try to suppress a nervous giggle. âNo actually,â you say, âI find that very hard to believe.â
âWell, believe it, gorgeous,â he replies smoothly, âWhen are we gonna see you back in LA?â
âI donât know, but I might have work out there soon,â you say honestly, falling into the rhythm of conversation. âAre you still helping Jake through his mini earthquakes?â
âOh, you bet. But Iâm glad youâre coming here soon. Just say the word, and Iâll have our first date planned to perfection.â
The whole circle fails to stifle their laughter, shocked expressions abound as the call turns suggestive. Your heart skips a beat, and you decide that itâs best to break it to him then. âGlen, so, uh, Iâm playing truth or dare with the cast, and I got dared to call up an admirerâŠâ
âOh?â Glenâs chuckle is confident, unfazed. âWell, Iâm flattered. I gotta say you called the right person. Good call, sweetheart.â
âYeah, everyone seems to agree,â you say, keeping the mood light, but Matt shifts behind you, leaning forward as if to intervene. Before you can say another word, he gently reaches over and takes the phone from your hand, his smile still intact but icy.Â
âHey, Glen, itâs Matt here,â Matt says smoothly, âThanks for humouring us, mate. Weâve just had a couple of drinks out here, you know how it is.â
âHey, man,â Glen replies, unaware of your connection with the guy heâs speaking to. âYeah, no problem. Hope youâre all having a great time.â
âThanks, but you know, weâre plenty occupied so⊠no need to make too many plans just yet.â
Glen just laughs on the other end. âWell, when sheâs ready, Iâll be more than happy to make sure sheâs treated right.â
Matt, to his credit, sounds genuinely amused when he replies, âIâm sure⊠but I think weâve got that covered here.â
You see Ewanâs calm exterior cracking as he silently watches the scene unfold.Â
âOh, really? Well, sounds like Iâm up against some tough competition,â Glen jokes, his sweet disposition unshakeable.Â
âSo, mate,â Ewan says loudly, his teasing drawl heard across the group, âDo you always plan dates with people who are taken?â
The group bursts into surprised laughter, and Freddie even clutches your arm in his glee. Thereâs a brewing excitement as the game takes on a new life. Itâs like watching a fuse slowly burn toward an explosion.
On the other end, Glen pauses for a moment, probably trying to figure out what the hell is happening. âWell, you know, man, I just like to be prepared. Wait, who am I talking to now? Is this Ewan⊠Mitchell?â
âYeah,â Ewan confirms, relaxing a little. Fabien wraps an arm around his shoulders to get him to ease up.
Glen responds, still directed at Ewan, âShe talked about you a lot, you know. I wouldnât be worried if I were you, man.â
Tom hollers in satisfaction for Ewan, âThere you go, Ewaaan! I bet that made his entire week.â
Itâs then that Matt decides to end the call. âThanks for the call, Glen. Weâll let you get back to your day, yeah?â
âAlright,â Glen says, addressing everyone this time. âHave a great night, you guys!â
The call drops.Â
âWow,â Milly remarks, âgirl, I wish I had Glen Powell on my speed dial.â
âYeah, that was fun,â Phoebe agrees, her eyes flicking between Matt and Ewan, clearly enjoying the show.
The game rolls on, laughter growing impossibly louder, voice slurring with alcohol. Louise remains glued to Ewanâs side, leaning just enough that itâs impossible not to notice. Matt doesnât let you go for a second, his hand always on youâeither resting on your leg or wrapped snugly around your waist.Â
The group branches out when the game eventually winds down, scattering across the courtyard. Some head toward the pool, others to the bar on the patio, and the music keeps getting higher in volume. Drinks are passed around freely, conversations blur into one another, and the entire scene glows under soft lights.Â
At one point, youâre pulled aside by Phia, as she demands that you settle a debate between her and Milly. Matt becomes distracted, bickering with Fabien and Harry by the pool.Â
Then, out of nowhere, Ewan materialises by your side, his hand closing gently but firmly around your wrist. His touch sends a jolt through you, and in an instant, heâs pulling you away from the girls, who are way too drunk to even realise.Â
He leads to the side of the villa, and the music fades into the background as you find yourself in a more secluded spot.Â
Ewan doesnât wait for you to speak, pressing you against the wall, and taking your lips in a wet, sloppy kiss.Â
And everything else falls away. The commotion nothing but a distant echo, the truths and dares something from a forgotten dream. Itâs just you and him.Â
When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and youâre both breathing heavily. He keeps his eyes closed for a moment, and thereâs an innocence in the gesture. A sense of intimacy that pulls at your heartstrings and makes you fall in love with him all over again.Â
Then, his voice is a rough whisper. âI love you, baby,â he slurs slightly, the alcohol clearly affecting his speech.
âEwan, youâre drunk,â you say softly, trying to gauge the sincerity behind his words.Â
âYeah, maybe,â he admits, a lopsided grin spreading across his face. âBut that doesnât change how I feel. I love you, I always have. I mean, if that wasnât fucking obvious already.â
Your hand reaches up to caress the side of his face, and he leans into your touch. His lips find the centre of your palm, pressing a warm, lingering kiss there. Time slows down just for the two of you.
âIâm serious,â he continues, his voice quieter, more vulnerable. âIâve messed up before. I know that. But I want to do this right. I want you⊠for good.â
âEwanâŠâ you start, but he cuts you off.Â
âIâll wait for you,â he promises. âEven if you have⊠him. Even if it drives me crazy⊠Iâll wait. I want you to choose me.â
Ewan lays it all bare, giving you the choice, letting you wield the power. All you can do is stand there, but he seems to understand your silence. He just smilesâa tired, bittersweet smile that holds everything left unsaid.Â
âIâm here,â he whispers. âAnd I love you.â
He turns, walking back in the direction of the courtyard, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed.Â
The next day, Matt enjoys the twilight hour on the patio, his hands curled around a warm cup of tea. Some of the group, including you and Ewan, ventured out into town for the day.Â
The thought of you out there with Ewan gnaws at him, but he does his best to keep calm.Â
Liv sits across from him, her own cup in hand. Sheâs been quietly listening for most of their conversation, but eventually, she turns solemn.Â
âYou know,â she says, leaning back in her chair. âIâve noticed the way things are with you three. Itâs hard not to.â
Matt lets out a breath. Should he act oblivious or just face it head on? âWhat do you mean?â
Liv gives him a look, cutting past the pretence. "Donât play dumb, Matthew. You know exactly what Iâm talking about.â
Matt contemplates brushing it off, deflecting like he usually does. But thereâs no point in pretending with Liv. Sheâs been his friend too long for that.Â
âItâs complicated, Liv,â he admits, his voice quieter than he intended. âI know there's something between them, there always has been. But I⊠I donât want to lose her.â
Liv leans forward, her expression softening. âYou wonât lose her, Matt. Not if you donât want to.â
He laughs, but thereâs no humour in it. âThatâs easy to say. Ewanâs not exactly giving her much reason to stay away.â
âTrue,â Liv agrees, giving him a sympathetic smile, âbut that doesnât mean youâre out of the game. Look, Iâve known you for years, and Iâve known her for a while now too. She cares about you, Matt. And if you want to keep her, youâve got to fight for her.â
âHow? How do I compete? They have history, Liv. Itâs not something I can wish away.â
âYouâre not trying to compete, mate. Youâre not Ewan, and you donât need to be. But if you want to keep her, you need to remind her why. Woo her properly. Donât wait around, hoping sheâll choose you by default. Give her a reason to.â
Matt considers her words carefully. âAnd how am I supposed to do that? Woo her properly with him in the mix?â
Livâs eyes light up with a mischievous glint. âLeave that to me. Iâll help you.â
âYouâre going to help me win her over?â
Liv shrugs, her smile widening. âWhy not? Youâre my friend, and you know, this could be fun.â
Matt wasnât expecting Liv to offer her help. But now that she has, the idea of having someone in his corner, guiding him, feels like a lifeline.
As the sun sinks lower behind the hills, casting the patio in a dusky glow, he feels a glimmer of hope start to take root. For now, all he can do is wait.Â
But when the time comes, heâll be ready.Â
Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @onlyrealjoy @hotdismylife @thepurplecrown @just-fics-station @clarkysblog @urmomsgirlfriend1 @misfitbimbosblog (continued in comments ... )
Some notes in the margins...
This chapter is late to the party, I know. But hey, at least the group ate with their shenanigans, alright? đ
To the Ewan lovers, to the Matty enjoyers, to the Darling warriorsâI think yous can see how things are falling into place now <3 Oh, and we'll see the outcome of Fabien's IG post in the next chapter.
Who will darling choose? Or is her choice already made? Chirp at me in the comments đ
#chemical override#ewan mitchell#ewan mitchell imagine#ewan mitchell x reader#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#matt smith#matt smith x reader
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Snooze Cruise
Anakinâs head was whirling as he got into the speeder.
The Chancellor was a Sith. Chancellor Palpatine was a Sith.
The man had been a close friend for â well, since Anakin had left Tatooine, really.
And he was a Sith.
It was⊠too big. There was too much to grasp.
Anakin backed his speeder out of the parking spot, turned to fly to the Jedi Temple, and yawned.
This led to him nearly crashing into an air lorry, and he skidded abruptly to a halt in mid-air before shaking his head and groaning.
âI canât believe it,â he said, out loud.
He needed to speak to someone about this.
He should probably speak to Padme about this.
Turning the speeder, Anakin took the air way to their apartment instead, doing his best to concentrate on flying instead of on the fact that Palpatine was a Sith.
The door opened, and Anakin raised his voice.
âPadme?â he called.
âAh!â C-3P0 said, coming in from one of the rooms leading off the entrance hall. âSir, I am afraid that Mistress Padme is not currently in. She is involved in a meeting.â
Anakin almost demanded to know if that meeting was with Obi-Wan, before shaking his head as he remembered that Obi-Wan was on Utapau.
âShould I⊠let her know you want to see her?â C-3P0 asked.
âNo, Threepio,â Anakin waved the offer off. âIâll just wait for her to get back. Itâs⊠something I need to think about before we talk, anyway.â
âOh, I see,â C-3P0 decided. âOr, rather, I donât. But Iâm quite used to such things. Do you want something to eat, Sir?â
Anakin waved that offer off as well. âNo thanks. Iâll just sit down.â
He divested himself of his cloak, hanging it up on one of the hooks by the door, then went through to the main living area and sat down on the couch.
Within a few minutes, four days of no sleep had caught up with him, and he passed out.
Mace Windu glanced at the time â almost eight in the morning â and then flicked on his comlink.
The first comm code he called produced no reply, even after a wait of several minutes, and he frowned slightly before switching to a new combination.
That one, fortunately, produced a response almost immediately. Senator Padme Amidala answered the call.
âMaster Jedi?â she asked. âThis is Master Windu, yes?â
âThatâs correct, Senator,â Mace confirmed. âI was wondering if you knew where Anakin was. Iâve called his comlink, and he hasnât answered.â
âI donât know where he is, no, Iâve been involved in a meeting all night,â Padme replied. âMaster Jedi â did you know about the Abolition Act?â
Mace blinked.
âIâd heard of it, yes,â he said. âSo far as weâre aware, itâs a legal mechanism to try and dissolve the Jedi⊠weâd believed it was a scheme by Darth Sidious, an attack against the Jedi.â
He glanced in the direction of the Council chamber. âThatâs one reason why Obi-Wan launched his attack on General Grievous on Utapau. We hoped to draw Sidious out.â
âI donât know if thatâs whatâs going on, but the Chancellor just announced that the Abolition Act was coming up for a vote,â Padme said. âI didnât have a clue why, but if Sidious is involved⊠do you think he managed to get to the Chancellor?â
âItâs possible,â Mace admitted. âWhen is the vote?â
âItâs outside normal order, so⊠now,â Padme answered.
Mace turned, striding to the doors of the council chamber, and Kit, Agen, Sasee and Coleman looked up from their seats as he entered.
âSomethingâs happening,â he said. âSenator, can you keep us updated?â
âIâll do my best, Master Jedi,â Padme promised.
âHow important?â Kit asked.
âAs important as it can get,â Mace replied. âThe whole Order needs to hear this⊠I can feel it.â
The vote counts began coming in, and Palpatine tried to suppress a nervous twitch.
He was having to improvise. Improvising in the end game was a difficult thing to do, especially when he had no idea why his gambit had failed.
What should have happened was that he would have his new apprentice, or he would have an open break with the Jedi Order⊠which would earn him his new apprentice anyway.
But as of now, he had neither. And without his new apprentice, he didnât have nearly as good an excuse for an open break with the Jedi Order⊠he could not very well have Anakin give his account of how the Council had been planning to bypass and replace the Chancellor.
If he was going to get his empire out of this, he needed that break. Order 66 could not take place without some kind of reason behind it, something he could point to, and yet it had to take place as soon as possible⊠the war was entering its final phase, and within days the Jedi would be returning home. Away from their loyal soldiers⊠away from their hidden assassins.
So be it.
If there was anything that would force a break with the Jedi, it was this. And, as the votes rolled in, Palpatine saw that he had managed it⊠at a great cost, but he had managed it.
At least four factions in the Senate had been persuaded that they had to vote in favour of the Abolition Act despite Palpatineâs professed wishes to keep the Jedi around. Two of those factions had been persuaded by Palpatine himself arguing that their votes were necessary for political reasons, and that the Act would never pass anyway.
âThe motion is carried,â Mos Amedda declared.
âI bow to the wishes of the Senate,â Palpatine announced. âAnd now that it is law, I am bound to carry it out. The Jedi Order will be dissolved, effectiveâŠâ
Immediately? No. He needed enough time for them to act rashly, not enough time for them to think.
â...as of ten in the morning, today, Coruscant time,â he decided.
The Senator for Naboo signalled to speak the instant it became possible, and her pod floated out into the central arena.
âI have a reply from Master Windu of the Jedi Council,â she said, without preamble, and Mace Winduâs holographic head appeared in projection from her systems.
âSure,â Master Windu said. âThe warâs basically over anyway.â
Palpatine blinked.
â...what?â he asked.
âThe warâs basically over anyway,â Mace repeated. âAn hour to pack might be a bit tight, but I think we can fit everything into some of the freighters.â
âAre you saying youâre going to just leave?â Palpatine asked, not quite sure what he was hearing.
âYes,â Mace confirmed. âWe have all been working very hard for years, often without much of a rest, and we would very much like a break. If you donât want to keep us around, weâll do it elsewhere.â
The image wavered, and a second hologram appeared next to it.
âWeâre with you, Master Windu,â Clone Marshal Commander Bly stated. âVotingâs going on now, but Iâm sure of it. All of us are â we quit. Weâre your army, not the Republicâs, and thatâs how it should be⊠you wonât waste our lives.â
âYou were listening in?â Mace asked, sounding amused.
âIf it affects all the Jedi, it affects all of us,â Bly declared. âAnd speaking for myself, Master Windu⊠we would very much like a break as well.â
Palpatine was staring at the holograms.
â...you are all listening in?â he said, then decided he was never going to get an opportunity better than this one. âInitiate Order Sixty-Six!â
Commander Bly just looked confused.
âChancellor?â he said. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
âIâd like to know that myself,â Senator Amidala admitted.
It took all of Palpatineâs immense self-control to avoid reacting to that bit of news.
Hiding Order Sixty-Six in the biochips of the clones forming the Grand Army of the Republic was the greatest bit of deception and complex planning the Sith had managed in-
Palpatineâs train of thought screeched to a halt, backed up, and examined the proper nouns involved.
...the clones werenât part of the Grand Army of the Republic any more, or of any direct successor organization involved. Theyâd quit.
Someone, presumably someone Kaminoan, had simplified the programming by using a function definition that didnât apply in this situation, and he was now buggered sideways with a lightsaber.
Anakin yawned, stretching, and his hands touched metal.
âMwuh?â he asked, blinking a few times, then rolled over on their couch and fell onto a metal floor.
That got him the rest of the way awake, and he looked around with surprise.
He was on⊠a starship, with a blanket half-tangled in his legs. There were crates packed and stacked haphazardly around the bed he was on, and the quiet murmur in the Force of sentients elsewhere.
âAh!â Threepio said, appearing at the door. âMaster Anakin, sir. It is good to see you are awake. Shall I inform the rest of the Council?â
âWhatâs going on?â Anakin asked, touching the hilt of his lightsaber. âWhere am I?â
âIâm not an expert at hyperspace navigation, sir,â Threepio replied. âThat is more Artooâs department. But I believe we are about halfway between Coruscant and the Yavin system. A lot has happened since you fell asleep.â
âIncluding me being moved into a spaceship?â Anakin asked.
âYou were very deeply asleep, sir,â Threepio confirmed.
ââŠyou quit?â Anakin asked, ten minutes later, looking between the holographic forms of the other Councillors â and the half-dozen Clone Commanders who were also on the call. âAll of you?â
âThe Senate voted to disband the Jedi Order,â Mace told him. âThe Orderâs not part of the Republic, but it could have caused us a lot of problems. So⊠we left.â
âOur ally, the Force is,â Yoda said, nodding sagely. âHelped with packing, it did.â
âThe only thing weâre not sure about yet is why the Chancellor said what he said, during the meeting,â Rex told him. âWeâve been trying to work it out since we hit hyperspace. Politics in the Republic are very confused right now.â
âI could⊠probably help with that,â Anakin said. âThough I guess first I should say⊠is Padme okay? Weâre â weâre married.â
That resulted in a ripple of laughter through the call.
âWe know, sir,â Rex said.
âAll of us,â Mace agreed. âYou moved in with her.â
âIt was actually causing a problem,â Ki-Adi-Mundi informed him. âStudents were asking if marriage was really not allowed or just that we were supposed to pretend it wasnât.â
âClearly the second option,â Sasee opined. âClearly.â
â...do you also know that the Chancellor is a Sith?â Anakin said. âHe told me.â
âOkay, that is new,â Obi-Wan admitted. âPerhaps we should tell your wife. She might find it useful to know.â
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extra cheesy â e. sohn
pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader
genre: pizza boy! eric, very mild childhood friends to acquaintances to friends to lovers au. college au, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst. mutual pining, slowburn, jealous eric, oblivous reader, the whole lot... includes pizza boy! sunwoo and eric's older sister! lisa manoban.
wc: 31k (31.071)
warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, mention of throwing up, mentions of jealousy, the reader and eric are the same height bc i wrote this for and about myself, talks about the ex-gifted kid burnout syndrome lol.
listen to: so american - olivia rodrigo, love - wave to earth and stuck with u - ariana grande and justin bieber
being a wingman is not always the easiest task - especially not when your roommate's target is best friends with someone taking your attention away from the main goal.
a/n: thank u so much best friend @csenke for beta reading as always and thank u best friend @from-izzy for hyping me up and listening to me ramble hours upon hours about this fic (oh and also for stepping in as the reader's roommate HAHA).
âCome on, we deserve a little pizza for dinner!â your roommate, Izzy, shakes your arm as she clings to you on the sofa the way she always does when she wants you to do something. And although your dear flatmate isnât usually the one to order in, much preferring to cook meals at home and save the leftovers for another day, you wouldnât find her desperation for pizza as strange, if it wasnât for the batting of her eyelashes and her pleading voice.
Surely, she doesnât need the pizza that much, right?
âIâm not saying we donât, Iâm just saying I have leftover soup from yesterday that I have to eat tonight or else itâs gonna go bad,â you justify your protests, âbut you can get one, if you want. Iâm not stopping you,â you say, furrowing your eyebrows at the girl in confusion before reaching for the TV remote.
âOh come oooon, Y/N,â she pressures, pouting at you in disappointment. More weight is put into your body as she clings to you, acting like a child throwing a tantrum. âYou deserve to have delicious pizza for dinner today, because you finally bagged that internship! Isnât that a reason to celebrate?â
âWe can just pop the champagne, if you wanna celebrateââ
âY/N, can we please just get the pizza tonight?â she turns serious for once, the smile disappearing off her face, replaced by a much more stoic expression. And see, thatâs a little scaryâ desperation can make people do bad, bad things. Youâd be a fool to turn down your flatmateâs requestâ youâd have to sleep with one eye open tonightâŠ
âOkay, fine,â you grunt, shaking your head at her ridiculous antics, âfrom the usual place?âÂ
âNO!â the girl chimes, making you jump in your place on the sofa with the loudness of her voice. If she wants to scream, she should move further away from your ear, goddamn it. After sending her a look full of anger, she offers you an apologetic one before she reaches for her laptop resting on the coffee table in front of you, opening it and pressing in a new Google search. âThereâs this place I found with Yizhuo after class one day,â she says, scrolling through the browser and finding the site of the place she wants to order from today, âand they make pretty good pizza. So just choose one and then Iâll put it through the online order.â
âThey have online orders?â you hum, interested. âTwenty-first century, this is. Online shopping for pizzaâŠâ you snicker, shaking your head in disbelief. Maybe youâre getting oldâ and itâs not like you donât enjoy the comfort this gives you, not at all, you just find it a little strange to order food over the internet. What happened to phone calls?
âYes, grandma,â Izzy sighs, âthatâs like, a normal thing, I fear.â
Rolling your eyes at her irony, you scan the menu before deciding on your usualâ margherita, extra cheesy. After pointing your finger at the pizza of your choice, your roommate takes it upon herself to add the meal to her cart (while also adding one she likes as well) before she proceeds further with the order. Your eyes stay glued to her, interested in the way this whole thing worksâ because letâs be real, ordering a pizza without having social interaction is every introvertâs dreamâ and watch as she hesitantly clicks onto the âadd a note to your orderâ section of the website.
Confusion fills your veins as you stare your roommate down. What more could she possibly need for this order? Does she not just want to eat? Does she need her pizza sliced in a special way, or does she want the pepperoni in the shape of a flower, or something? You really wouldnât be surprised, with how peculiar Izzy could get sometimes, but stillâ wasnât she the one mourning about how hungry she was just a few minutes ago? Surely, she would want her food to get here the fastest it can, with no additional requests that would take up too much time.
âDonât say anything,â she mumbles as she starts typing, and finally, it all starts to make sense.
The desperation in her voice. The determination. The need to have a pizza tonight, right now. Because after reading out the words sheâs written down, you realize that it was never about the pizza itself in the first place. Knowing Izzy, you shouldâve knownâ after the months of sharing an apartment with her, you shouldâve been able to predict her antics.
There, proud, black on white, shine five words saying: Send your cutest delivery boy :)
âIzzy what the fuckââ
âI told you not to say anything!â she cuts you off, clicking through the rest of the order hurriedly, as if worried you were going to make her delete her embarrassing request.
âOkay, miss, âI donât chase no man!â, I see that youâre living up to your motto. What? You ate there with Yizhuo last week and saw a cute guy doing deliveries, so you thought youâd drag him to our house instead of asking for his number like a normal person?â you grunt, shaking your head at the lengths your roommate is willing to go toâ while also making her own life twice as complicated as it needs to be.
âWell, pretty much, yeah,â she peeps as she closes the laptop after paying for your pizzasâ youâre not paying her back, just for the record. Not after she just publicly embarrassed you by making that stupid request with your address attached.Â
âAre you crazy?â you scoff. âWhy didnât you just talk to him back there?â
âHe was busy!â she mourns. âLook, this is me shooting my shot. Youâre getting a pizza out of it, so I donât see the problem here.â
âThe problem is you doing all of this when you couldâve literally just walked up to him last week and introduced yourself,â you say, watching your roommate physically crumble under your scolding, but truthful words.
Izzy slides down further into the sofa, as if to shield herself from the attack. She puts her hands over her face, hiding the blush on her cheeks as she mourns into the silent apartment. âLook, I was shy, okay?â she says.
âBut not shy enough to be so bold over the internet, huh?â you mock her, feeling your roommateâs hand slap your upper arm in frustration.
âYou shouldâve seen him, Y/N! There was no way I was going to walk up to him after the whole day I spent at uni. I looked like a dead rat, thatâs not how you pull men,â she mutters. âAnd he looked so perfect, so adorable, itâs⊠I keep thinking about him and his plump lips and his dark messy hair, and he was so tall andââ
âOkay, okay,â you cut her off, a hint of annoyance tinting your tone. âIâll see him with my own two eyes in a bit anyway,â you comment, âif heâs really the cutest out of them, as you requested,â you snicker.Â
âHe is! I swear. There is no way he isnât going to appear on our doorstep in a few minutes, trust me.â
Little did the two of you know that you caused havoc on the other side of the town. It was a slow day in Sohnâs Pizza, leaving the two part-timers on duty scrolling through their phones, awaiting any new customers. It was the middle of the week, 2 hours before their closing, and so the sound of the new online order coming in surprised the two boys, having the ownerâs son sit up from his place in the corner of the room and click through the system.
âDad, it says one extra cheesy margherita and one pepperoni!â Eric yells out into the kitchen, followed by a loud acknowledging hum from the cook himself. Sunwoo looks up from under his chocolate bangs, pausing the game heâs been playing on his phone, licking his lips.
âDo you wanna go?â he asks, obviously too lazy to move from the pizzeria. See, the two part-timers had many responsibilities. One wasnât just a delivery man or just the server. Because Ericâs father didnât really trust anyone with his business, he relied only on the people closest to himâ which caused this place to operate mostly as a family business. Sunwoo only got the job because he was Ericâs longest friend, and that made the Sohn family consider him as one of them.Â
That meant the pizzeria was almost always short on staff, thoughâ which was a problem Eric complained to his dad about more often than not, being too busy with deliveries and also wiping down the tables, serving the customers and helping with the sides. The poor boy already learned that his dad wonât do anything about it from the sheer discomfort of having to go through the hiring process with anyone, though, and so after a while, he just stopped trying.
âI dunno,â he shrugs, eyes scanning the order. âIt has a note, though.â
âWhat does it say?â Sunwoo asks, voice barely coated in any interest. Eric would argue that the boy doesnât really care, but is just asking to seem mentally present.
âSend your cutest delivery boy, smiley face,â Eric hums, snickering to himself. Now, thatâs a request he hasnât gotten beforeâ and the pizzeria has been open for quite some time now.
âOh, so Iâm going,â Sunwoo says, already standing up from his place in the camping chair behind the counter even though the order isnât ready yet, full confidence flowing through the manâs veins.
âDidnât you just ask me if Iâm going?â Eric jokes, eyes darting towards his coworker.
âYeah, but that was before I saw the note,â Sunwoo scoffs, âwe obviously donât want our customers to be unhappy, so Iâm going to do my job, and as the cutest one, go deliver these pizzas.â
âWhere did the confidence come from?â Eric clicks his tongue. âWell, that being said, I am going to deliver these.â
âSo you think youâre cuter than me?â Sunwoo looks at his friend with a stern face, and to be honest, itâs kind of funny how serious the matter is for the boys. They would both blame the 8 hour shift getting to their brains, but in reality, itâs clear as day that they both want to win this argument.Â
âIâd say so,â Eric nods. âDidnât you say you were more sexy than cute the other day?âÂ
Sunwoo looks at his friend suspiciously. He doesnât really remember the full context of the conversation, but he does remember stating the factâ and although heâd argue itâs true, he also doesnât want to lose to Eric. Because lookâ the job is taking up the majority of the boysâ time, so looking for a girlfriend has gotten severely more difficult.Â
Why not take the opportunity at work? And besides, everything is more entertaining than sitting around and waiting for the place to close for the day.
âI did,â Sunwoo carefully admits, âbut that was more to do with the general attractivity. Iâd say those two go hand in hand, and therefore me, as the objectively more desirable one, should go deliver these.âÂ
Eric blinks slowly at his friend, trying to process the self-absorbed words spilling out of the taller oneâs mouth. âAre you calling me ugly right now?â
âNoââ
âIâm pretty sure you just called me ugly.â
âI would neverââ
âIâd say Iâm the cuter one,â Eric snaps back, shrugging. âI have this aura around meââ
âNow youâre just being ridiculous. You know the note was obviously for me, so why donât we stop this and you let me make this delivery? You can always do the next oneââ
The argument is growing more heated. Who wouldâve thought such a simple note would lead to two men trying to advertise themselves as the cuter one? The room is filled with testosterone, although the objective of the fight was somewhere completely elseâ the question was who the cuter one was, and if they had to be truthful, they had to go with facts, no?
Small things are cute. Eric is shorter than Sunwoo. Logically, it should be himâ but he wonât say this comment out loud in fear of carrying the burden of admitting to his laughable height in front of his spiteful friendâs ears.Â
âHow can you tell it was for you?â Eric scoffs. The arguments were starting to get ridiculous.
âIt was the energy, I swear, the note is calling for meââ
âBoys, the pizzas are ready!â the voice of Ericâs dad calls from the kitchen, making both of them snap their heads towards the source and hurry. Never in a thousand years have either of them reacted to an order so quicklyâ not even in the highest of rushesâ when they reach for the two boxes with grabby hands, like it was some sort of a prize.
It felt like everything was on the line. Eric Sohn prides himself in being a fast runner, but when he senses the taller boy breathing down his neck, he breaks all rules of safe workspace and also friendship as he outstretches his leg towards the right, tripping the boyâ all to win the title of the cutest delivery boy.
Snatching the pizzas and also the car keys, Eric pays his coworker a victorious smile. Sunwoo glares at him from the ground, breathing heavily, anger roaring inside of his body. Eric finds this as his cue to hurry out before heâs attackedâ while heâs a good runner, he was never quite good at combatâ and so he jogs out of the pizzeria and unlocks the door to the Honda Civic parked outside, hopping in and typing in the address into the GPS on his phone.
Back over at your place, you try to pass the time by watching the TV. Netflix failed you with its poor selection of things to watchâ mainly because youâve already seen most of the true crime documentaries that you could findâ so you just let yourself get pulled into the doom of teleshopping, your brain quickly getting used to the flashing images and over-exaggerated voices advertising the newest sumo slicer. You had a long day at university todayâ while also finally managing to get the internship with the company you dreamed of working forâ and after all of the stress, your brain decided to simply turn off.
Youâre only taken out from your trance as the doorbell rings, making you jump slightly at the loud noise. Dinner must be hereâ your stomach churning at the premise of a good pizza already (you have to give it to Izzy. She was right and you do deserve pizza tonight)â and so you stand up from the sofa in the living room, calling for your roommate.
âIzzy, the pizzaâs here! Come get the door if you wanna see the guy!â you yell into the depths of your apartment.Â
You get no response. Did she fall asleep? âIzzy!â you call again, this time louder.
âComing!â you hear her reply. You wait a few seconds, standing in the hall, when the doorbell rings againâ after not opening the door for at least 2 minutes, youâre starting to get worried that the delivery man will just turn on his heel and take your pizzas away from you.Â
And you canât let that happenâ not when you were finally persuaded into eating themâ all because your roommate is seemingly getting ready to open the door and see the newly found love of her life, probably putting on some cute clothes in her room.
âIâm just gonna get it!â you say, reaching for the door handle.
Opening the door, you are met with the sight of a delivery boy standing on the other side, two boxes in his hands, shifting weight from his heel to the tips of his toes. He sends you a soft smile before he raises his eyebrows at you so high they almost touch the red cap adorning his head, opening his mouth to speak.
âEric?â
âY/N?â
Both of you shock the other with the recognition. You havenât seen Eric Sohn since elementary schoolâ and while you must admit that the son of your parentsâ friends grew up to be mildly attractive, you must say he hasnât changed a bit. Now, this whole interaction grew even more embarrassing for youâ you completely forgot about the note.
âHello?â your roommate calls from behind you, walking up to the door inâ you guessed itâ her finest clothes. She always wears this outfit out, which makes you roll your eyes at her. She is trying too hard. And for whom? Eric Sohn, of all people?
âIzzy, hereâs the cutest delivery boy you asked for,â you awkwardly say, trying to save your face. You wonât allow her to embarrass you like thisâ yes, you are completely content with throwing her under the bus in this situation. This is the boy you were forced to hang out with the whole entirety of elementary school, after all. You wonât let her humiliate you by making him believe it was you who found him so attractive.
Because letâs face itâ he wasnât. WellâŠÂ
Maybe he was and youâre lying to yourself. But stillâ you wonât let him think youâd be so pathetic to shoot your shot by an online order. The boxes in his hands have Sohnâs pizza written all over themâ maybe you shouldâve paid more attention to the name of the pizzeria you were ordering from.Â
âAh,â Izzy hums, and something in her composure shifts. Her shoulders drop and her smile dimsâ and thatâs when you realize Eric is not the delivery boy she was hoping for. You have to laugh at her.
Izzy makes no effort to move or take the pizzas from the boyâs hands, and thatâs when you take charge. Sighing at her, you move her out of the way before you send Eric an apologetic smile, freeing him off your order. âThank you for the pizzas,â you say, watching as the delivery boy nods at you, offering you an awkward smile.
You push the boxes into Izzyâs hands, ordering her with your eyes to take them into the kitchen. As she slowly moves out of the hall and disappears into the apartment, you face the boy again, still standing at your doorstep. You scan him all overâ from the top of his red cap thatâs hiding his honey blonde locks to the black cargo pants covering his legsâ before you nod to yourself, the awkward atmosphere making you tense under his gaze.
âUhmâŠâ you hum, not really knowing what else to say to diffuse the atmosphere. This is embarrassing. This is humiliating. Why did your dumb roommate do this?Â
Now she got the poor boy disappointed. Couldnât Izzy at least act like heâs the one?
âWell, Iâll.. see you around, I guessâŠ?â Eric says, nodding to himself. He scratches the back of his neck as he looks at youâ one short glance up and down that doesnât go unnoticed by you, making you instantly regret getting the door in your sweatpants and the pink socks with hearts and a single hole on the toe on themâ before he takes a step back from the doorstep and starts walking away from your apartment.
âYeah,â you clear your throat, mentally punching yourself with how pathetic you sound, âsee you around. And⊠and thank you again! For the pizzas, I meanâŠâ you hum. Now, youâre mentally kicking yourself. Scratch that, youâre throwing yourself down the stairs. Why are you so awkward? Youâre only making it worse.
He flashes you a smile, not oblivious to the shame you feel. If you really think about it, the situation is kind of funny, isnât it?Â
âBye, Y/N,â he says, waving at you as he walks down the stairwell, sending you one last glance over his shoulder.
âYeah, bye!â
Closing the door behind you, you try to take deep breaths to steady yourself. You will murder your roommate with your own two hands and use her blood as the sauce for your pizza. Slowly walking towards the kitchen, you see Izzy munching on the pepperoni slice, sending you a look full of innocence.
âWell, that didnât work out,â she says, trying to make light of the situation, ignoring how embarrassing this situation was for both parties involved. Without a word, you sit down at the table, opening the box of your pizza of choice, taking a bite.Â
âAre you okay? You seem a bitââ
âShut it.â
âHow was it, bubs?â Izzy asks you once you get into the car while simultaneously reaching for the volume button on the radio, turning the music down so she can hear you talk.
âTerrible,â you mourn, sighing as you buckle your seatbelt and watch your roommate back out of the parking lot. She was nice enough to offer to drive you home after your first day of your new mandatory internship, and although you told her over and over how you didnât need a ride and could just walk home after, youâre actually very grateful for her act of kindness nowâ for your feet hurt like a bitch and youâre so mentally tired you think you could get lost on your way home, had you not paid enough attention.
âThat bad?â she hums, voice full of consideration. Izzy only pays you a short look full of undeniable worry before she gazes back at the roadâ thankfully, because she is not the best driver and you think her not paying full attention to where sheâs going would significantly lower the chances of you getting home safely todayâ subtly allowing you to vent about the day you had.
A grunt escapes your mouth. âYeah,â you agree, âitâs justâ god. The place is full of morons, my boss is demanding a marketing project from me until the end of my internship, everyone keeps using me as their coffee delivery person because Iâm new, and I forgot everyoneâs names alreadyâŠâ you complain, furrowing your brows in concern. How are you going to survive going there weekly?
As a business student, you have to go through an internship in order to successfully graduate. Getting one was already hard enough, but the responsibilities that come with doing all the stuff youâre not even educated enough to do yet are only making the weight on your shoulders heavier and heavier to the point where you suddenly start to doubt if youâre even good enough for your major. Hell, you barely have any interest in it in the first placeâ hence why you lack the enthusiasm your boss would surely love to see from you.
âCanât they just not make it easier for you?â she shakes her head in disapproval. âYouâre a mere student, not the new hire,â Izzy grunts, sympathizing with you.
âApparently not,â you roll your eyes. âIâm so tired, manâŠâ you sigh, resting your head against the window, letting your eyes close for a bit. âThanks for giving me a ride, Izz.â
âNo worries,â she innocently replies. Almost too innocently, you thinkâ but with the amount of hours you slept last night and the mental overload of new information you had today, you choose to not pay much attention to it. Maybe youâre just making it upâŠ
If the drive was a bit longer, youâre sure you wouldâve fallen asleep. The car comes to a halt in a few more minutes, though, and the sudden silence of the vehicle as the engine turns off and the radio goes silent has you opening your eyes, scanning your surroundings.
And you were right. Izzy was almost too nice in giving you a ride home. You shouldâve known she always had different motives.
âWhy are we here?â you ask, choosing not to face her so you donât have to look at the dumb smile on her face again, for you think that if she dared to force innocence on herself right now, youâd seriously punch her.
âOh,â she hums, âI thought we could get pizza for dinner.â
âWe had pizza last week,â you deadpan, tone of voice only a bit hostile.
âThatâs correct,â she agrees, âhowever, I am in the mood for some pizza right now. And we donât really have any groceries at home, so I think this is the best alternative to end your bad dayââ
âYouâre not dragging me in there after embarrassing us so much last week, Isabelle,â you grunt, pulling out the full name to act more tough and get your point across. âI am never going there again. You simply canât force meââ
âOh come on! Youâre ruining all fun.â
âThatâs because I am not having fun right now,â you note, already too tired after the long day.
âThen let me cheer you up! I donât know why youâre making such a big deal about it,â Izzy glares at you, sighing. âBesides, the last time I checked, you owe me pizza, and I would like to redeem that now.â
âSince whenââ
âDonât think I forgot that you didnât pay me back last time,â she cuts you off, sending you a stern look.
If you were closer to home right now, you wouldâve left the car and just walked back to your apartment, leaving your dear flatmate to get her pizza alone. You both know youâre not here for the pizza itself anywayâ so why does she need you there? As an excuse? Itâs already embarrassing enough for the both of you. Why wonât she just drop it?
But since the circumstances are given the way they areâ youâre tired, hungry, frustrated and full of worry about your internshipâ you figure there is really no need to argue with your roommate right now. When she sets her mind on something, she is going to get it, no matter what. You know her well enough.
âFine,â you sigh, getting out of the car and slamming the passenger door with as much force as you can humanly conjure in yourself after the long day, satisfaction flowing through your veins at the sound thatâs loud enough to make your roommate jump in surprise.
Youâre going to give her what she wants, but youâre not going to act happy about it. Youâre just gonna get the pizza and leave. Thatâs the plan.
Walking up to the building of Sohnâs Pizza, you push the door open, ears instantly catching the low music coming from speakers situated in the corners of the room. You havenât been here before, so you take your sweet time looking aroundâ noticing the neat-looking interior, admiring the wooden furnitureâ before you walk towards the table in the corner of the middle-sized restaurant, sitting down. Izzy follows you like a lost puppy with its tail wagging because she got what she wanted before she sits down opposite of you, offering you a giant smile. She is like a kid under the Christmas tree with the toy she always desired securely in her grasp. Which is weirdâ the cute delivery boy hasnât even shown up yet.
After scanning the menu for a bitâ since you already know what youâre going to getâ a server walks up to your table, a big, welcoming smile on her face. She is short even when wearing heels, hair pulled up into a ponytail, straight-across bangs sitting on her forehead. Itâs been years since you last saw her, but the resemblance is undeniableâ itâs Eric Sohnâs older sister.
âHello! What can I get for you today, girls?â she asks as she takes out a notepad. Her eyes land on you for a bit before she gasps, even a bigger smile appearing on her cheeks, if thatâs possible. âOh my god, Y/N?â
âYeah,â you nod, grinning. âItâs me.â
âHow are you?â she asks, beaming. You and Lisa were never really closeâ since she was so much older than you back when you hung around the Sohnâs house, but she was always really kind to you. You remember her making snacks for you and Eric to eat in afternoons or taking you two out to get ice cream, your heart squeezing at the nostalgic memories.
âIâm good, what about you?â you ask, genuinely interested.
âIâm fine,â she nods. âWell, just rotting in here, if Iâm being honest, but other than that, Iâve been good,â she laughs, making you mirror her actions.
âWell, itâs really pretty here, if that makes you feel any better,â you smile.
She shrugs at your compliment. âI did most of the decorating, so it should be,â she snickers before she looks back at you after scanning over the entire room. âWhat will you get today, then?â
âJust a margherita is fine,â you note, âcould I possibly get extra cheese on that?âÂ
âAnything for little Y/N,â she hums, making you roll your eyes at her teasingâ yet the grin never leaves your features. âAnd for your friend?â
âIâll get pepperoni,â she peeps. Itâs unusual for your roommate to be so quiet in a conversationâ you guess she was caught off guard at your sudden acquaintanceship with the staff in her new favorite restaurant.
âComing right up!â Lisa smiles, walking away from your table.
After the server leaves, you are left with a few seconds of silence from your roommate. You raise your brows at her in question, mocking her change in demeanor, waiting for her to get back to her usual, chatty self. âWhat?â
âYou know her?â
âObviously,â you snicker. âOur families used to be close years ago,â you note, shrugging. âWe lived in the same neighborhood.â
âWowâŠâ she hums. âSo you know that guy who dropped our pizzas off last week as well?â
âI do,â you nod. âWe are the same age, so our mums forced us to hang out often.â
âInterestingâŠ.â Izzy says, lost in thought. If you didnât know better, youâd suspect she was scheming something up. Actually, you think you know her well enoughâ just give it a few more minutes.
The door opens again, making you two look around and watch the people coming into the restaurant. Instead of new customers, you are met with two men obviously wearing work uniformsâ white shirts with a pizza logo in red on themâ the shorter one with a cap on, the taller one with baggy jeans adorning his long legs. You recognise one of them instantlyâ and even despite the nature of the restaurant, his presence still shocks you and makes you feel alarmed.
You feel something come in contact with your shin as your roommate kicks your leg under the table. âThatâs him, thatâs him, thatâs himââ Izzy chimes, whispering, making you furrow your brows at her in question. Yeah, of course thatâs him. Ericâs dad owns the restaurant. Who the other guy by his side is, though, you donâtâ
oh.
So that must be the cute delivery boy your roommate has been thirsting over for the last couple of weeks. She has a lot of determination in her, youâll give her that. If it was you, you wouldâve forgotten about a random mediocrily attractive server after a day or two. Not her, though. What a strange womanâŠ
âY/N!â you hear for the second time today. Your heart skips a beat at the tone this time, making you remember the events of last week, heat instantly creeping up your neck at the memory.
âHi,â you peep, watching as the two men make a bee-line towards your table.
âHello,â he greets. He wears a bright smile on his faceâ one that makes his cheeks look fuller, something in his eyes glimmering (you think it might just be the reflection of the lights). He is wearing a blue cap today, covering his honey locksâ which leaves you wondering if he has a fucked haircut, or if he really just likes to wear hats that muchâ but other than that, his attire is the same as last time. âWhatâs up?â he asks.
Casual. Friendly. Like nothing happenedâ like this whole encounter isnât totally embarrassing.Â
Or is it not? Are you just being overly-dramatic again? You really donât know at this point.Â
Still, you act nonchalant. âOh, not much,â you hum, âjust got off my first day of internship, so we decided to get some pizza to comfort myself.â
âDidnât go well?â Eric asks, a sympathetic look on his face. Somehow, his concern seems genuine.
âYou could say that,â you note, shrugging.
âIt will be better next time,â he says lightly, smiling at you all encouragingly. For the first time in the last couple of seconds, you pay attention to your roommate againâ seeing her eyes glued to the taller boy. If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts drawn in her sockets and she would be drooling. Izzy seems to be totally enchanted with the delivery boy currently standing to Ericâs right, and you canât stand the view any longer.
âOh, this is Sunwoo, by the way,â Eric says, introducing his coworker.Â
âNice to meet you,â you smile, shaking the boyâs hand. He sends you a boyish grin, greeting you back, before he moves towards your flatmate, holding her hand in his.
âIzzy,â she introduces herself, tone of voice a few octaves higher than usual. âWeâre roommates.â
âI gathered as much,â Eric notesâ almost a little awkwardlyâ making your body electrify with a full body cringe. Why canât he just pretend last week didnât happen?
âYeah,â you hum, nodding and scratching the back of your neck. âShe pretty much dragged me here, hahaâŠâ you vocalize the laughter as a word, mentally slapping yourself. Haha? Whatâs so funny? Y/N, youâre only making it worse.
âWell, itâs nice seeing you again,â Eric says. When your eyes meet, he averts his gaze, an awkward cough battling its way out of his throat. âUhm⊠we better get back to work, or else my sisterâs gonna kill meââ
âOh, but itâs not busy!â Izzy suddenly utters out, making you snap your head towards her with shock, a look worthy of many words burning a hole into the middle of her forehead. What is she thinking? âWhy donât you sit with us for a while? It seems like you and Y/N have a lot to catch up on,â your roommate sweetly says, throwing the burden onto your shoulders again.Â
Why are you suddenly forced into the role of a wingman? You really didnât sign up for this.
âOh, Iââ
âI could use a little break,â Sunwoo grins, not even waiting for his coworker to immediately deny the idea. You swear you can mentally hear your roommate's excited squealing on a telepathic frequency as the dark-haired boy takes a seat right next to her, sprawling his legs wide and resting his back against the chair, seemingly tired. âCome on, Eric. Lisa has a soft spot for me, she wonât eat our heads off.â
Eric meets your gaze. You hope your brains match at frequencies with the boy as well as you send him mental apologies, the atmosphere once again getting too awkward for you to handle. He seems to be the victim of his friendâs terrorizing strategies as much as you are, though, so you think there is silent understandment hanging in the air over the two of you as he reluctantly sits on the chair next to you.
Youâre starting to think Izzy has a death wish. Youâre also starting to be fairly certain that you will be the one to fulfill it.
The passage of time is weird. Itâs a strange construct to you, finding yourself dwelling on it at times when itâs the least suitable toâ especially when you have things to do and a workload to get through. See, itâs incredibly bizarre to you how when youâre doing nothing, time is passing by quickly without you even noticing it: a few episodes of your favorite TV show go by and youâre suddenly well into the evening. When youâre working on assignments, though, it seems like time has stopped.Â
You promised yourself youâre going to stay in the library and work on the project you were assigned in your internship until at least 6PM. You arrived at 3 oâclockâ three hours should be easy, right? Not that much time.
Wrong. Because you swear youâve been aimlessly searching around the internet and writing things down for at least 10 years now, and itâs only been an hour and you still have two more to go. Time is weird like that. Itâs fascinatingâ at least when you hypnotize the numbers in the right corner of your screen, sucked into the doom of your laptop. Maybe you shouldâve taken Physics instead. Youâd love to learn about this.
(The fact that this has nothing to do with Physics and everything to do with your focus and attention is a completely invalid argument to you at this moment, so you donât even let yourself think about it.)
Something finally pulls you out of the hyper focused state that you put yourself in while staring at the time on your screen (as if to mentally push the clock to go faster), and that is a figure moving right opposite of you, resting their hand on the back of a chair.
âHi,â you hear, making you snap your head up and face the intruder, âcan I sit here?â
âHiâŠ?â you mumble, watching the boy in front of you not wait for your answer as he pulls the chair back and settles his body onto it. He empties his pockets in the true manly fashionâ putting his wallet, his phone and his keys onto the wooden tableâ all while letting you absorb his existence for a bit before you have to react to it some more.Â
You spent years not seeing Eric Sohn. Now, you bump into him at least every other week. Strange.
He is wearing a simple white hoodie, his hair now not covered by a cap. You glance over the honey blonde locks, noting to yourself that he does not have a messed up trim, which means he just must like hats a lot. You feel like you should probably say somethingâ start up a conversationâ but the shock of seeing him is still settled deep in your bones, stopping you from every attempt.
Looking around the library, you note that itâs half-emptyâ meaning that Eric couldâve chosen any seat, any other seat in the whole entire placeâ yet he chose to sit right opposite of you at one of the long tables in the middle of the room. Nodding to yourself as you absorb the information, you open your mouth to say somethingâ anythingâ before the boy beats you to it, acting in his true, nonchalant casualty.
âWhat are you working on?â he asks. âI mean⊠you seemed quite miserable when I arrived, so I assumed it was for the best to take you out of the frozen state before you go crazy,â he jokes, having you close your mouth and awkwardly smile at him.
âYeah,â you hum, shrugging. âI was mainly just trying to force the time to go quicker with the sheer power of my gaze, but I think it doesnât work like thatâŠâÂ
âYou set up a timer for yourself?â he asks, laughing.
âKinda,â you nod. âI knew I had to hold myself accountable and do work, or else Iâm going to leave things until the last minute and hate myself even more for not doing anything sooner, so I told myself Iâll work on my assignments until 6, but itâs⊠easier said than done.â
Eric nods at you, acknowledging your struggle. He takes out his own laptop and presses the power button. As he waits for it to turn on, he looks back at you, his gaze making you nervous.Â
Itâs not that you donât like Ericâ not at all, you have your fair share of fond memories with the boy when you were littleâ itâs just that you havenât seen him in ages, havenât properly talked to him since you were kids. You know nothing about the man he is right nowâ aside from the fact that his father owns a pizza place now. You donât even know what he majors in. Hell, you didnât even know he went to the same university as you up to this pointâ which makes everything just a little bit too awkward for you.
How to navigate the conversation? What to talk about? Why does he not just⊠ignore you? Itâs not like the two of you were that close in the first place.
âWhat do you major in?â he asks. You wonder if itâs sheer politeness, or if he really just wants to know.
âBusiness,â you say, tone of voice hinting that youâre not really satisfied with your own answer. âIâm actually supposed to be working on a project for my mandatory internship right now.â
âDamn⊠what is it?â he asks.Â
Scratching the back of your neck, you lick your lips before answering. âItâs like⊠I have to make a pitch about a new product for them to sell. I work in the sales section for Trust, the insurance company, so I have to do a lot of⊠market research⊠and then also marketing⊠itâs⊠kind of a lot, actuallyâŠâ you nervously laugh, trying to diffuse the fact that youâre genuinely scared of the very project you were assigned.
Eric stares at you with interest, a look of acknowledgement settling onto his face. âWow. That sounds hard.â
âI mean, I donât knowâŠâ you shrug. âMaybe Iâm just too stupid for thisââ
âNo youâre not,â the boy instantly cuts you off, shaking your head. âIâd say they just have high demands from you.â
His words do a bit to soothe you. You avoid asking your classmates about their internships in fear of being the only one thatâs finding things hard and being overly-dramatic. Talking to someone who doesnât really have the same experience as you makes things a bit easierâ you can complain and they wonât judge, because thereâs no way they know how it feels. Eric wonât judge you for finding your business internship hard, because he doesnât know what it takesâ at least not on his own skin. But if youâd complain to your classmate Yeji, for example, she might find it weirdâ what if your tasks are the easiest thing to do in her eyes?
âThanks,â you hum. âWhat do you major in, though?â you ask him, somehow committing to keeping the conversation going for just a little more time.
âCommunications,â he laughs. âI just⊠write a lot of papers, I guess.â
âAh,â you nod in acknowledgement.Â
You feel like you should add something. Maybe you should comment, sympathize, ask more questions, but in the moment, no fitting words reach your mind. After a heartbeat of silence, Ericâs eyes finally leave your figure to focus on his laptop, and the only thing resonating through your brain is the fact that the last two times you met him, it was painfully awkward and maybe a little strangeâ which leads you to questioning the fact that he still chose to approach you today.
âLook, Eric, we⊠you donât have to act like weâre friends now,â you say, refusing to meet his gaze. Somehow, your blank laptop screen is much more interesting. âAnd Iâm sorry about last week,â you note, tone of voice lightheartedâ trying to mask how much you actually think about the encounters and how they make you wish they never even happened. Somehow, you worry about how youâre perceived by him. âMy roommate just kind of likes your coworkerâ Sunwooââ you call him by his name, âso she has been doing all of this to get his attention, and itâsâŠâ
âItâs okay,â Eric laughs, making you glance up from the blank document and finally meet his eyes. There is no stern look on his face, no signs of disappointment or disgust on his features. It helps you calm down a bit. âIâm used to girls being all over Sunwoo, really,â he says, shrugging.
âYeahâŠâ you sigh. âSorry for making it all awkward, and stuff. As I said, you donât have to feel obliged toââ
âI donât, though,â he hums. The sentiment silences you. You offer him nothing but a nod, suddenly at a loss for words. âLook, we used to be close when we were kids,â he shrugs, âso donât even worry about it.â
Youâre not really sure what his words are meant to imply. Does he mean that youâre friends now again? Does he mean he doesnât find this whole thing absolutely awkward? Are you supposed to hang out more often now? Do you get his number?Â
After trying to clarify everything, youâre left even more confused.
If thereâs one thing about Eric Sohn that you remember from your childhood, itâs the fact that heâs friendly. And also⊠pretty fucking competetive. âItâs almost 4:30. Whoever gives up on their assignment first pays for coffee later, yeah?â he challenges you, looking at you with mischief glimmering in his dark orbs.
You guess both of these qualities stayed with him until adulthood, and although you were awkward with him just a few minutes ago, you donât really have it in you to overthink the interaction any longer.
âDeal,â you nod.
As if this was all the motivation you needed, you get back to working.
âJokes on you, drinking is not a forfeit for me,â Jake, the underclassmen you see around the campus sometimes says after a round of spin the bottle in which he refuses to make out with the person to his right (that was friend Sunghoon from middle school, just for the record), âI actually enjoy it. Soââ
âYou should stop drinking, dudeâŠâ the said friend nudges him to his shoulder, looking at the boy with a concerned look in his eye. Itâs no secret that both of them are light drinkers, but one of them is clearly handling his alcohol worseâ and itâs the shorter one of the two.Â
âWhy? You wanna make out with me?â
âIâd rather not carry you home again, thatâs allââ
âThat sounds a bit sus, Hoonââ Jake snickers before he downs the shot of whatever alcohol is passed to him, âyâknow, if you wanted to kiss me, you couldâve just said soâŠâ he slurs, making Sunghoon sigh, closing his eyes for a second to collect himself in time before the frustration in him turns into anger and he swings at his friend.
You canât help but laugh at the commotion. You donât really go out to party muchâ since you and Izzy are introverted, you donât really search for these types of gatheringsâ but you figured that doing something other than watching the TV on a Friday evening would be nice. Especially when you were invited by the guy you met in your internship.Â
It felt rude to deny an invitation to a party by Park Jihoon, given the fact that you wanted to make friends and connections during your stay with the company. He is an intern just like youâ maybe a bit more energetic and extroverted, thatâs all. Which you welcome with open arms, just for the record. Itâs been a while since an extrovert extroverted the way they are supposed to and adopted youâ itâs always a pleasant experience.
Youâre also not really the one to participate in a game of spin the bottle. You find such games embarrassing and nerve-wrecking. They induce anxiety in you from what you have to do, and itâs not the good kind. The adrenaline in your veins is enough for you to call it quits, but then again, youâre always good at falling for peer pressure and your roommateâs battling eyelashes are ones you donât find yourself resisting too often.Â
Thereâs alcohol running through your system, warming you up. Wearing a cropped top and shorts surprisingly didnât really help you to cool down as you soothe yourself with alcohol after another week of stressing yourself over your damn internship project (which Jihoon offered to help with, but youâre too much of an individualist to let anyone partake in even just the smallest task of your assignment) and after careful consideration, you realize you havenât had that much to eat before turning up to the party.
Which is always a mistake. Drinking on an empty stomach is one of the biggest flaws you bring with yourself to social gatherings.
âMaybe I should eat,â you suddenly comment, perking up the attention of Jihoon to your right. He looks at you with considerate eyes and nods.
âThere should be pizza coming soon, actually.â
âReally?â you gasp, excitement suddenly flowing through your bones. Itâs been at least a month since you last had pizza, and youâre slowly starting to crave it. Did Izzy give up on that cute delivery boy? Maybe you should remind her⊠the pizza was worth it, you must admit.
âYeahââÂ
And as if you wished it into existence, the sound of the doorbell suddenly brings you out of the conversation and has people closest to the door standing up to get it.
It seems like randomly running up to Eric Sohn is your newest hobby. Itâs strange how life worksâ you havenât seen him in ages, and suddenly, he finds his way to randomly walk back into the plotline of your life casually, as if it was fate. Itâs kind of laughable, really.Â
Because there he isâ standing behind the door with boxes of pizza in his hands, accompanied by his friend Sunwoo holding up even more. The amount could feed a whole village, you think, and youâre suddenly glad you arenât the one paying for the food, since youâre sure it would add up to a big check. The crowd hollers at the two boys at the door, and it takes you a few seconds to realize itâs not because of the feast they just brought into the building.
âEric! Sunwoo! Come in, you two!â Jihoon suddenly calls from next to you, waving the two over with a motion of his hand. This has the shorter boy look into the spacious living room, eyes scanning the surroundings. His eyes fix on you for a second, offering you a smile, before they move back to the host.
âCanât, weâre on the clock, actually,â Eric snickers awkwardly, shrugging.
âOh come on!â Haechan, the boy that was introduced to you today as Jihoonâs best friend, joins. It seems like everyone around knows exactly who Eric Sohn is, and it leaves you wondering just how you managed to unawarely avoid him for all those years. âJust for a bit!â
âYeah,â Jihoon adds. âJust stay for like 10 minutes, or something. Actually,â the tipsy boy has a million-dollar idea, âIâm not paying yâall until you stay for a bit. How about that?â
âGreat, dude,â Sunwoo laughs, shaking his head in disbelief at his friendâs tactics. âLetâs go in, then.â
The two get ridded of the pizzas they brought, walking up into the room. You feel Izzy poking your leg with her pointer finger repeatedly, and when you look at her, she is staring at you with eyes that remind you of someone slowly slipping into a manic state. You think itâs the effect of Kim Sunwoo entering the room with a smirk on his face, but youâre not really sure at this point.
âWhat are we playing?â Sunwoo asks the obvious as he sits down, dragging his friend with him. Their spot is currently straight across from you. After more careful examination, you realize Ericâs eyes are glued on your figure, making you smile at him and wave silently before he moves to scan your new friend sitting close to your right.Â
The last time youâve seen Eric was that day at the library. That was almost 2 weeks ago now, and although you went for a coffee after you declared that you âsimply canât do it anymoreâ and âwould rather die than to work on this project any longerâ, he insisted on paying for both of your drinks instead of making you do it, as was previously agreed on. You exchanged numbers after chatting and walking around for a bit, and although you waited for him to text you the same week, he never did, and you never tried to make conversation either.
Somehow, you simply didnât know what to say. Then againâ itâs not like the two of you were friends in the first place.
The game proceeds like before even with the new members added. Some of the people hanging out around the living room move to eat the pizzas, but if youâre being completely honest, the idea of eating was long forgotten to you the moment Eric and Sunwoo walked through the front door. Admittedly, maybe you did have a considerate amount to drink this evening, because everything is starting to turn into a bit of a blur from this moment. You watch the game absent-mindedly, not really taking much in, as your eyes sometimes subconsciously move to Eric sitting leisurely on the sofa opposite of you.
After a round where Jihoon is asked to suck on Haechanâs toe and Yizhuo is told to confess the last person she hooked up with (which was a guy to whose name everyone gasped, but left you clueless, since you didnât really know who it was), your biggest fears are proven to be reality as the bottle lands on you. Heartbeat instantly picking up at speed, making you hear your own blood in your ears, you look up from the cursed item and wait to hear your ordeal.
Who wouldâve thought playing spin the bottle would feel like a near-death experience?
âTruth or dare?â Yizhuo asks.
After a second of consideration, you blurt out: âDare.â
Big mistake. At least you can lie when you pick the truth, goddamn it. What was drunk you even thinking�
âOkay,â she nods, contemplating for a bit. As the gears in her head start working and the idea comes into her brain, a smug smirk appears on her face, hinting that this whole evening was a bad, bad idea. âI dare you to sit in the lap of the hottest guy here for three rounds.â
The crowd goes crazy.Â
Girls gasp, guys whistle, and your brainâ it completely shuts off. Alcohol should logically make you feel more courageous and daring, no? Thatâs what they all say.Â
Youâre the one to prove the sentiment wrong as you gulp and contemplate your next decision. Given the fact that youâre one shot away from throwing up, you decide to not drink to protect yourselfâ making sure you save your image and donât embarrass yourself by showing the contents of your stomach to everyone on Park Jihoonâs beige rug.
Scanning the circle, you watch the men situated right in front of you in the living room. It resembles window shopping a bit, except youâre feeling really fucking miserable while doing it. You know itâs all fun and games and that if you take the situation with enough nonchalance, everything will turn out fineâ hell, some might not even remember this moment in the morning, so itâs really not that big of a dealâ but the more you contemplate the object of your dare, the more nervous youâre starting to feel.
Kim Sunwoo is a clear no go. You and Jihoon are close enough where it wouldnât feel awkward, but somehow, you know you would be lying to yourself if you picked him. Your eyes smoothly drift past Haechan, Jake and Sunghoon, all the way past Renjun and Jeno to Eric sitting right across from you, eyeing you with interest in his dark orbs.Â
The circle is starting to rush you. Jihoon nudges your side, telling you to âjust pick one,â, making you briefly glance at him with a stern look in your eyes. After your gaze lands back on Ericâ whose eyebrows slightly furrow when he notices you paying attention to your new friendâ you come to a downing realization of the fact that somehow, your eyes keep landing on the short boy, not really wanting to look away.
Itâs alright. Itâs nothing. Eric Sohn is conventionally attractiveâ youâre sure itâs not that big of a deal.Â
Standing up from your spot, hearing the crowd pick up the excitement, you walk over to the other side of the circleâ while trying not to trip over your own foot and fall over in the process. Eric looks up at you with big eyes glimmering, expecting your final answer, making your palms sweat and voice a little shaky as you awkwardly let out.
âDo you mindâŠ?â
The question is laughable, really. You audibly hear Yeji and Yizhuo squeal in excitement at your action, while Haechan hollers out a laugh from the back. Trying to ignore the reactions, faking nonchalance, you watch as Eric shifts slightly in his spot and moves his hands to his sides, as if to make some space for you, before he shrugs.Â
âGo ahead.â
Nodding to yourself, you scratch the back of your neck before you turn your back to him and slowly settle yourself onto his lap.Â
And here you thought the delivery boy incident could simply not be beaten on the scale of awkward and embarrassing moments with Eric Sohn.
Itâs now your turn to spin the bottle, you realizeâ which you try to focus on instead of the fact that you are currently sitting in the lap of the guy you grew up withâ making you bend to the ground and proceed with the game. Only three rounds and you can move back to your initial spot, you think. You just have to survive three rounds of this stupid game before youâre free.
Watching the empty wine bottle spin in circles before it stops, your eyes move to the side with the opening, trying to see who it landed on. When you look up, your roommate is staring back at you with a suspicious look on her face, not even waiting for you to ask the question to determine her fate. âDare,â she spits out.Â
Her eyes bear into you with such intensity you think sheâs trying to tell you something, but right as you try to match her brain frequency and decipher what exactly she wants from you right in this moment, you feel Ericâs hands land lightly onto your sides.Â
They donât move, nor do they put any pressure into your skin. They just lay there, fingers on the skin of your bare midriff, sending an electric shock into your brain that completely shuts off your telepathic communication with Izzy, making you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind.
âUh⊠prank call your latest hook up and tell him you want to get together with him,â you say.
She immediately throws darts into your skull, making you regret your decision.Â
What? Is it not spicy enough? Judging from the reactions of the rest of the players, youâd say you did a good jobâ which makes you believe she just didnât want to expose hooking up with Jaemin in front of everyone.
Nonetheless, she moves on with the dare. You donât really pay much attention to it as a wave of sickness comes over you. Youâre genuinely left seeing things twice, which leads you to close your eyes and rest your head in your hands for a second before a low voice lands into your ear.
âHow drunk are you on a scale of 1 to 10?â Eric asks.
âLike⊠8, I think?â you snicker. âIâm okay, I just need toââ
Before you get a chance to finish your sentence or even barely think of what would help you in this moment, you feel Ericâs hands on your sides lightly tug your body towards him, leaving you to fully glue your figure onto his. Your back meets his front, sprawling out onto the sofa, leaving you to settle your head onto his shoulder.Â
You canât say your stomach feels less crazy at the moment, but you also canât say this isnât strangely nice. âBetter?â he asks.Â
You think you lost your voice for a second, so you only offer him a nod.Â
His next actions leave you wondering if heâs always been this touchy and affectionate. While one of his arms sneaks around your waist and holds you to him, his other palm leaves to take its new place on your thigh. The rational side of your brain is telling you that this is just the most comfortable place to let your arms rest when you have someone sitting in your lap, but itâs still enough to have heat rising up your neck, slowly warming up your face.
A few seconds pass before Eric absent-mindedly starts to draw circles onto your quad, your brain hyper-focused onto the feeling of his forearm on your bare midriff. When he laughs at the way Izzyâs prank call is goingâ to which he earns a warning look from your roommate to keep quiet and not break the facadeâ you feel his body vibrating under you, making you realize that youâre the only one out of the two that is so affected by this simple gesture.
It leaves you feeling silly. It must be the alcohol, surelyâ but god,
Eric Sohn surely has hands that make hell seem cold.
Youâre woken up in the morning to the sound of your roommate screaming, yelling at you. Not only do you already have a massive headache from the hangover you surely accidentally threw yourself in, now you also feel like there is someone cutting parts of your brain off with a knife. (Which sounds contradicting, because you do know the brain canât be in pain. Why does it feel like that, then?)
âYou had the perfect opportunity to think of something that could make me and Sunwoo closer. You couldâve said anything! But no, you chose toââ
âWhy are you screaming?â you ask, voice hoarse and quiet, your throat scratchy as you utter the few words.
ââlay in Ericâs lap like a princess and do nothingââ she continues, making you wince. Itâs not that you donât remember the moment, noâ you do. The memory is almost painfully crystal clear in your brain, you just didnât really mean to think of it the first thing in the morning.
âIsabelle,â you grit your teeth and put your pillow over your eyes to shield them from the sunlight that is only making your headache worse, âIâm gonna need you to shut. the. fuck. upââ
âYouâre a terrible, terrible wingwoman, Iâll tell you that,â she accuses you.
Suddenly, the cause for her telling looks and annoyed huffs throughout the last night make total sense. Hell, youâre smarter than thisâ you shouldnât need explaining for such a simple task. It was your turn to dare your best friend to do something, and the object of her desire was right there. You will blame the shortcoming on your alcohol-infused brainâ in Izzyâs eyes, though, it doesnât really change the narrative.
âIâm sorry,â you mourn, âI wasnât thinking properly.â
âYeah, I could see that,â she grunts, tugging the pillow off your face. âAt this rate, me and Sunwoo are never gonna be a thing, and I hope you know itâs completely your fault.â
âHow could it be my fault?â you grunt, suddenly frustrated with your roommate. She is the one that isnât sending him obvious enough hints, and itâs your fault he isnât catching on? Why are you suddenly blamed for something that is completely out of your control? This is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wanting to sit up on your bed and fight against your roommate, but failing to do so before she escapes your roomâ sensing that you would throw the pillow onto her as soon as youâd get the chanceâ you sigh and reach for your phone sitting on your bedside table. There is a notification shining at the top of your screen, and when you unlock your phone and absent-mindedly click on the message, youâre taken off guard by the view in front of you.
Eric Sohn [1:21 AM]: hi, just checking in to see if you got home okay?
You read the message over once, then twice, before you decide to reply. Clearing your throat, as if you were going to record a voice message, you think of the most appropriate answer.Â
If youâre being honest, you donât really remember much about how you got home last nightâ all you know is that after three rounds of spin the bottle, you reluctantly climbed off Ericâs lap, to which him and Sunwoo escaped the party and trailed back to work with excuses of Ericâs sister killing them if they didnât show up soon. Youâre fairly certain that you and Izzy just took a cab home, but since you notice youâre still wearing yesterdayâs clothes, you assume you werenât really with yourself at that momentâ which is also the sole reason for you not replying to Ericâs message when you first got it.
You [11:10]: hello!! yes we did :) You [11:10]: sorry for replying so late, but as you could see last night i wasnt rlly checking my phone haha..
Surely this is good enough to play it off. Not suspicious at all! Eric Sohn will never know you were drunk off your face and hardly made it through the front door of your apartment. (Except he does know, and youâre also painfully aware.)
And all of this for what..? A bad week at your internship? Youâre one of the weak ones, for sure.
Switching apps and deciding to scroll through Instagram for a bit before you get up and face the dayâ which includes making lunch, because you didnât have any leftovers left in the fridgeâ your phone buzzes in your hands, showing you a new message.
Eric Sohn [11:15]: good to hear :) Eric Sohn [11:15]: are u feeling well?Â
God. You feel like throwing upâ surely the cause of the alcohol still in your system.
 Well, itâs not like he didnât know before. And youâre a grown woman! Thereâs no shame in a bit of a hangover. Youâre fairly certain he gets them all the timeâ you two are in university, after all.Â
Faking nonchalance, once again, you text back.
You [11:16]: yeah, just a massive headache thatâs all :// You [11:16]: im sure lunch will fix it lol
Eric Sohn [11:16]: speaking of⊠do u wanna get lunch w me? im sure eating out is a better option for u rn haha
Something inside of you panics at the message. You donât know what it is, but somehow, you always feel a bit awkward with Eric at first. Maybe itâs the fact that you always remember how you grew up together and then vanished out of each otherâs livesâ without each other even noticingâ or maybe itâs the fact that you always feel like you only embarrass yourself in front of him.Â
He seems to be casual about things, though. He doesnât make fun of you for anythingâ rather, he takes those moments as opportunities to get closer to you and maybe even build back the friendship you were forced into in childhood, but chose in your adulthood.Â
There is no reason to overthink his words or actions. Itâs Eric, after all.
Eric Sohn [11:17]: me and sunwoo that is, btw. u can bring your roommate if sheâs down!:D
Oh.Â
Well, at least you have a way to fix things with your butthurt friend. Clearing your throat before calling into the depths of the apartmentâ because Izzy left your door open, seemingly hinting that itâs time for you to get up and cook lunchâ you slowly start getting out of bed.
âIzzy, do you wanna get lunch with Sunwoo, Eric and I?â you ask, a grin slowly appearing on your face. She rewards you with a few seconds of silenceâ as if trying to tease youâ before she gives you the obvious answer.Â
âYeah.â
âThought so,â you chuckle, sending Eric back a text agreeing to his invitation.Â
After a few minutes spent showering and making yourself look presentable, you walk out of the building with your roommate by your side (thatâs currently smelling a bit like she just poured the whole perfume bottle over her), nearing the building you decided to meet in over text messages. Itâs a small Korean place just down the street, making you wonder if itâs the boyâs favorite, or if he just chose something that was nearby for you out of convenience.
When you open the door and walk into the place, youâre immediately hugged by the smell of delicious food making your stomach churn in hunger and the low music playing in the background. It doesnât take you long to notice the two boys already sitting at one of the tables, chatting to each other. Sunwoo is very passionate about something, waving his arms around, but the moment you two arrive at the table, their conversation dies down a bit, replaced by warm greetings.
âWow, you look terrible,â Sunwoo lets out when his eyes meet your figure. The comment makes you shrink in yourselfâ truth be told, you know you donât look your best right now, given the fact that your headache was still very much present and you didnât put any makeup onâ but still, it isnât the best experience to hear someone say it out loud.
âThanks,â you nod, watching as your roommate eagerly takes a seat next to Sunwoo, her body in respectful, yet close proximity to his, âI feel like it too.â
âAuchââ the said boy lets out, glaring at Eric sitting opposite of him. Youâre not really sure what happened, but you donât pay it much mind as you slowly settle yourself in the last spot possibleâ next to Eric in the little booth.
âDid you order already?â Izzy asks, clearly more joy and cheerfulness in her body than in yours. You donât really know how or why sheâs not currently dying of a hangover like you are, but something is telling you that maybe, just maybe, you were the only one that took the drinking too far last night. (You and Sim Jake, that is. The poor boy had to run to puke only a few minutes after the game of spin the bottle ended, and it was not a fun sight.)
âNo,â Eric shakes his head, âwe were waiting for you to get here. Wanna check the menu? We already skimmed through it.â
You nod at his preposition, taking the laminated paper into your hand. Youâre always indecisive when it comes to ordering foodâ never really knowing what to get, because everything is either foreign to you or too appealing, nothing in between, leaving you on the fence about what youâd like to eat at the given momentâ and the lengthy list of options in this place isnât really helping you.Â
A sigh escapes your throat at the sight. Truth be told, youâre not even gonna read the whole thingâ so you opt to look at Eric to your right with a begging expression on your face.
âDo you know what youâre getting?â you ask, watching him nod.
âRamen.â
âIs it good?â you inquire, having the boy nod at you casually, replying to your question.
âPretty good, yeah,â he answers. âAlso, Iâd argue that itâs the best for a hangover.â
âPerfect. Iâll have that, then,â you note, putting the menu back to its place on the other side of the table, not really wanting to think about it any longer.
When the waiter comes and asks for your order, you notice Eric taking charge and saying your choice as well, ridding you of the burden. Grateful for his initiative, you turn to smile at him in return, before you choose to rest your head in your hands on the table, still not relaxed enough after the long night you had.Â
Thereâs a soothing hand rubbing your back in just a few seconds, pressing comforting circles into the middle of your torso. You think you canât really blame Sunwoo for making fun of you todayâ you surely must look like absolute shit.
âDid you two go to the same party?â Sunwoo chuckles, pointing out the obvious difference in your composures. âHow come do you not look dead?â he addresses the question to Izzy, curious.
âI can handle my alcohol well,â she hums.
âThatâs a lie,â you grunt, eyes still glued to the wooden table, âshe just didnât drink much last night.â
âI think thatâs a part of handling my alcohol wellââ
âNo itâs not,â you squint at her, shaking your head. âAbstinence is not âhandling alcoholâ, you moron.â
âOkay, well, Iâm just saying thatâs the reason why you look like you have some sort of disease, while I look fresh and beautiful,â she sings in half-seriousness, half-irony, going as far as posing like a flower, offering the whole table her bright smile.
âI mean, you always do,â a low voice echoes around the restaurant, making you snap your head up to gaze at the boy opposite of you that is now refusing to meet anyoneâs eye. Ericâs hand freezes on your back, stilling, as a chuckle leaves his throat at his friendâs comment.
Interesting. Sunwooâs usually cocky demeanor changes as he blushes, scratching the back of his neck. The air gets a little tense as you allow yourself to look your roommate in the eye, a hint of surprise playing with her face. She looks taken aback, but pleased with herselfâ and you have to give her that. Her magic is finally working.
âSo, anywaysâŠâ Eric breaks the awkward silence, arm slipping off your back and resting on the table. The absence of the soothing circles on your clothed skin makes you miss it only a little bit, but you wonât really dwell on that any longer or mention it out loud.Â
The food comes just in time to diffuse the weird atmosphere, making all of you thank the waiter for the meal and get to eating. You canât say ramen is your favorite meal on the planet, but you must admit that the way they prepared it here really gets your taste buds on Cloud 9. Youâre enjoying every bit of it, salvaging the salty taste and chewing on the noodles, looking like a person thatâs been starved for five days with the way youâre just inhaling the food like itâs oxygen.
âFeels nice to finally eat somewhere else than at work,â Sunwoo grunts in pleasure, throwing his head back and letting his eyes close, fully enjoying the moment.Â
Eric nods in agreement, having you furrow your brows at them. âYou must work a lot.â
âYeah,â the boy next to you nods, âI do it to help my dad, but the more I work, the more miserable and absolutely boring it gets.â
âI would imagine it to be kind of fun, I dunno,â you hum sheepishly, noticing the boys eyeing you with a deadpan expression on their faces.
âI mean, everythingâs better than a corporate job, in my opinion,â Eric throws a jab at you, a smirk playing with his lips. Heâs not wrong.
âDonât even remind meâŠâ
âStill no progress on that thing?â he asks, genuine interest lacing his tone.
Shaking your head, you sigh. âI mean, I did a bit of market research, but nothing to show my boss, thatâs for sure. Itâs just been rotting my brain for weeks and I feel like Iâm frozen with stress that I canât actually pick it up, yâknow?â
Eric nods in acknowledgement, swallowing the last bits of food in his mouth. âMaybe you just need to think about it less.â
âYeah,â Izzy joins, âtake off some steam. Maybe you just need a little break from it.â
âBut if I take a break from it, I might never actually start itââ
âThatâs ridiculous,â she cuts you off. âYou know you work well under pressure.â You sigh at her comment, shaking your head in disapproval. Procrastination isnât really your favorite thing under the sun, but itâs something you canât really control during most projects you pick up. âWhat do we say we all hang out together when youâre free? To chill, do something fun, get your heads off workâŠ?âÂ
You look around the table with questioning eyes. Youâre not really sure if you crawled across the bridge to the friendship side yet, or if Izzyâs efforts are what is going to do just that. Not really knowing where you stand with the boysâ because they did invite you to lunch, but you also hadnât spoken in a long time before thatâ you donât push them for an answer. Youâre going to go along with whatever they choose.
âIâm down,â Sunwoo nods, âI bet that if we tell Lisa in advance, she can do the deliveries. Thereâs a new Deadpool movie coming out next week, wanna go see that?â
Youâre not really a fan of Marvel movies nor have you seen the first two parts of the series. The same could be said about Izzy, but she grasps at the invitation like a thirsty woman seeing water after 20 days spent on a desert, nodding eagerly at Sunwoo. Itâs almost laughable how easily she agrees to everything the boy has to say.Â
You guess you canât really blame her, thoughâ he is giving her subtle signs of reciprocation with todayâs compliment, isnât he?
You think about it for a while. Looking to your right, facing Eric, you lock eyes with him, as he was already gazing at you and expecting your answer. The boy shrugs at the eye contact, seemingly down to the offer.Â
You guess seeing a movie with them isnât such a bad idea, right?
âYeah, okay,â you say, âwhat day is that?â
Foolish. Thatâs what you are.
Foolish for thinking you could get everything done in time and actually enjoy your time with your friends. Foolish for thinking you could have a day off when you donât have to think of all the responsibilities that adult life is throwing at youâ because as you realize exactly one day before youâre supposed to see the new Deadpool movie in the cinema with Izzy, Sunwoo and Eric, after a discussion with your boss about how he needs some spreadsheets done before the next day, you realize donât have enough time in your schedule for both.
Frustration, anger and also a bit of sadness fills your bones as you announce to your friendsâ in person to Izzy and over a text to Ericâ that you probably wonât make it. The boy tells you that if you do end up being able to come after all, you should, which makes you only feel worse at the realization that you are now missing out on what couldâve been a chill afternoon.
The frustration only grows in you when you decide to do your work in the library the next day, not even walking back to your apartment after classâ because you realize you not only donât enjoy any minute of your internship, but you also feel like a failure after not being able to finish any simple task with no bigger issues.
After sending one last message to your friends about how youâre stuck in the library for the time being, you try to drown yourself in workâ while simultaneously trying to ignore the clock in the corner of your screen telling you the exact minutes youâve spent missing out on the plans.
You donât really know how much time passes before a hand lands on your shoulder, making you jump violently in your seat. Your heart starts beating a thousand miles an hour as you turn your head to make out who is the cause of your heart attack, preparing yourself for the screaming match youâre very well mentally ready for.
Up until⊠you notice whoâs standing behind you, offering you a gentle smile.
âSorry. Did I scare you?â he asks, laughing softly at your shaken composure.
âI almost died, dude!â you scold him, shaking your head at the boy. Something inside of you lights up at the idea of a distraction from your workload, your heart squeezing on itself when you scan your visitor overâ from the bottom of his feet cladded in simple Nike pandas to the top of his head covered not only by a beanie, but also the hood of his gray sweater.
âSorry,â he once again apologizes, eyes glimmering in amusement.
âWhat are you even doing here?â you ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion and checking the time on your laptop. âThe movie starts in a few minutes!â
Out of all the people on the whole entire planet, Eric Sohn is the last person youâd expect to appear in the library exactly at this moment. The sheer presence of him right in front of you makes you blink a few times in hopes of figuring out if his existence is not a fata morgana, watching as the boy only shrugs at you in nonchalance.
âAh, thatâŠâ he hums. âI actually brought you a treat, since you said you will be stuck in the library the whole day,â he says, offering you a bag containing something sweet-smelling.
Once you take a better look at what heâs holding in front of you, your stomach churns and your tastebuds yearn for the sugary dough he must have gotten in the bakery at the corner of the campus on his way hereâ pink glazing and colorful sprinkles, almost bringing tears into your eyes in appreciation. âWhat? Why?â you ask. âYou didnât have toâŠâ
âI figured there was no use going to the cinema if youâre not going,â he explainsâ his words making a nervous little bug fly around your stomach. âSince Iâm sure Sunwoo and Izzy wanted to go alone anyways, I didnât wanna be a third-wheel.âÂ
Oh. Right. You forgot about that part.
âI donât think itâs a good idea to leave them alone together, to be honest,â you say, making Eric chuckle at your comment.
âThis might either be the best, or the worst thing on the whole entire planet.â
âAgreed,â you nod.
Eric sends you a prolonged look in which you realize you havenât accepted his offering yet, making you reach for the bag containing the donut and placing it onto the table, right next to your laptop. âBut really, thank you,â you nod, âyou didnât have to. Iâm sure you have other things you could be doingâŠâ
âI wanted to make your stay in the library more pleasant,â Eric says, shrugging. His figure is still towering over youâ as heâs standing and youâre sitting downâ something about the fact making you wish he would take a seat next to you and maybe even stay for a minute. âI imagine itâs gonna be a long day for youâŠâ
âYeah,â you sigh. âAll thanks to my stupid internship and my stupid boss and this stupid assignmentâŠâ you ramble, watching as Ericâs lips turn into a soft smile. What heâs smiling at, youâre not really sureâ the topic of the conversation is already miserable enough for you without actually doing any of the things youâre complaining aboutâ but you drop it as the boy crouches next to you, putting his arm around your chair.
âWhat do you need to do?â he asks, interested.
âI just need to finish this spreadsheet,â you hum, âwhich isnât that hard, itâs just a lot of tedious work that no one wants to do, so of course it falls on the intern.â
âThatâs the beauty of an internship,â Eric jokes.
âDo you even intern?â
âNo,â he laughs, shaking his head. âBut Iâd like to see what itâs like. Want help with that? I can read the numbers out for you so you donât get lost in all those rows and columns,â he suggests, pointing to the amount of reports waiting at your desk, waiting to be digitized.
âOh, itâs okay,â you sheepishly say, although touched with the offer. Heâs probably only saying it to be niceâ but thatâs still enough for appreciation to grow in your chest. âYou donât have to stay and do boring things with me just because we were supposed to hang out today. Actually, you should hurry so you can get to the cinema on timeââ
In your peripheral vision, you watch as the boy stands up from his crouched position only to pull out a chair from one of the empty seats, placing it next to yours so he has a view of your laptop. Before you get a chance to protest any longer, heâs sat in the seat with one of his legs popped up and resting on the bottom construction of your chair, hands reaching for the papers that you could physically drown in sprawled all over your desk.Â
âDonât be silly. Iâd rather do anything else than to watch Sunwoo embarrassingly try to flirt with your friend,â he chuckles. âSo, which numbers do you need?â
âEric, reallyââ
âThese ones?â he persists, not even giving you a chance to protest any longer.Â
Eyes meetingâ his big and honest, a warm pool of honeyâ yours a little tired, but still filled with tender appreciation, he waits for you to answer and explain how he can help you. He patiently awaits your instructions, wanting to make your life a bit easierâ and something about that makes your heart leap in your chest.
You guess youâd say you and Eric are friends now. Yeah, you definitely are.
âLook, the sooner youâre done, the sooner you can get out of here and get another donut with me on your way home. Because trust me, I thought I could resist, but the more I look at the one I brought you, the more I kinda want one for myselfâŠâ
Laughing, you shake your head at his boyish antics. He looks so casual right nowâ like someone cut out of your everyday life, like someone youâve known for years and are destined to know forever.Â
You show him which row he should read out loud for you. You share the donut with him. It takes a bit longer than you expected and the donut place is closed when he walks with you home, but he assures you itâs okayâ you can get one another time.
âFive iced americanos, two lattes, one iced teaâ do you want anything?â Jihoon turns to you with raised eyebrows, getting a look of your sulking face.
âNo,â you bite back, anger getting the worst out of you.Â
âOkay, so weâll also add another americano and a flat white, please,â your coworker slash friend turns back towards the barista, smiling at him and paying with the corporate card.
After the two of you move into the line waiting for drinks, you continue on with your little tangent.Â
âSo they think they can make me do all the dirty work, leave me with no time to do anything and announce tasks at the last second, only to be bitchy and donât even say thank you when I do everything they tell me to?â you snap, scowling at Jihoon. âAnd then they decide that oh, maybe Iâm not good enough to do all those fucking spreadsheets for them, so I am demoted to a coffee runner?!â you yell out, having the heads of the rest of the customers turn to you with annoyed and concerned looks on their faces.
âOkay, so we are going to calm downââÂ
âI donât wanna calm down!â
Jihoon laughs at your little outburstâ which only makes you more frustratedâ before he puts a finger against your lips to silent you, an amused expression taking over his face. âDonât scream when we are inside, at least.â
After his finger leaves your lips, you are left staring at him with a sharp lookâ like a child that is mad because it didnât get a new toy it liked in the store. You acknowledge that you might be acting a bit overly-dramatic at the moment, but you also still think your feelings and thoughts are justified.Â
You hate the corporate lifestyle. You despise how you have to be a stuck-up to climb it, and how hard work never truly gets you anywhere if you donât have connections.
Which is why Liu Yangyang is currently helping your boss with all major tasks, getting the experience he truly needs for his degree, while you and Jihoon were sent to get coffee for the whole office. Amazing, isnât it? The way you can feel so looked down upon, even though youâre aware this is the place youâre supposed to be in, this is how youâre supposed to be treated.
Youâre just an intern, nothing else. But sometimes, the uneven weight of responsibilities you get at work makes you stressed and nervous that one day, youâll have too much on your shoulders to bear while all the other time, you arenât even worthy of a normal task.
âI hope each and every one of them burns their tongue on that fucking coffee,â you grunt, making Jihoon only laugh harder.
âAt least half of them ordered iced americanos, babe.â
A sigh escapes your throat at that. âOkay, so I hope they all spill the drink onto them,â you refute, making Jihoon grin.
âYouâre so petty,â he points out as he stands close to you, suddenly deciding to use you as his own personal armrest. âBesides, I think you should appreciate that you donât have to do a lot today, donât you think? Itâs nice to get a breather. I know I wouldnât wanna be in Yangyangâs shoes right now.â
âI guess so,â you sigh, looking up to meet the tall boyâs eyes. âBut it makes me feel like they donât think weâre good enough for anything else.â
âAnd if thatâs my crime, then so be it,â he playfully shrugs. âAt least Iâll have the experience on my CV and I can graduate.â
âIâd love to have your mindset,â you muse.
âItâs quite easy, actually,â he nods. âYou should get it into that pretty brain of yours,â he says as one of his fingers points to the side of your skull, making you scrunch your nose at him and try to avert the contact.Â
Jihoon is persistent, though, as he suddenly makes it his quest to ruffle your hair to tease you and make it all disheveled. The two of you get into a play-fight of some sort, consisting of you trying to wrestle the boy off and him trying to make your life a living hell in any way he can, when he abruptly stops and raises his eyebrows at someone behind you, offering them a wave.
âYo, dude! Hi!â he greets, making you turn your head to see who he is addressing.
There, standing just a few meters in front of you in the line, is Eric Sohn wearing cargo pants and a loose shirt, earphones hanging around the base of his neck. After being greeted by your friend, he moves closer to the two of you, smiling.
âHi!â he says, paying both of you an up-and-down scan. âWhatâs up?â
âNothing much,â Jihoon replies for the both of you, settling to his previous position of resting half his body-weight against your shoulder. Youâve grown used to his natureâ playful and friendly, much like an older brother would actâ so you donât really mind the casual touch and teasing from him. âWe were sent here to get coffee for the whole building, so weâre just doing that while Y/N here complains about everythingââ
âI donât complain about everything, just the systematic oppression of interns in the workplaceââ
âYeah, whatever you say,â Jihoon cuts you off, snickering. âWhat about you?â
Eric watches the two of you bickering with furrowed brows before he clears his throat, shrugging. âOn my way to class,â he says, âIâm late already, so I figured a few more minutes while I get my coffee wonât hurt me in the long run.â
âVery responsible of you,â you joke, watching as the boy in front of you laughs, paying you a short look.
âLook, I donât have any big responsibilities like the two of you do, soâŠâ
âY/N, on the contrary, doesnât think getting coffee for the corporate people is enough of a responsibility,â Jihoon chimes in, making Ericâs eyes shift towards the taller boy, sending him a look slightly different to the one he gives you.
âShe just doesnât really know how to chill out,â Eric nods.Â
âHello?â you snicker. âIâm literally right here.â
The shorter one looks at you with glimmering eyes, shrugging. âItâs something you have to hear,â he notes. âTruth hurts, but itâs better than lying to yourself.â
Just after that, an order is called that makes Ericâs attention perk up, turning around to the barista. âI think thatâs me,â he says, taking a step back towards the counter to retrieve his coffee. âI better get going, but it was nice seeing you two,â he nods.
âUs twoâŠâ Jihoon whispers next to you, making you look at him with furrowed brows, confused.
âIt was nice seeing you too!â you nod instead, smiling.
âIâll see you around!â Eric says. Before he completely disappears to the top of the line and out of the coffee shop, he turns to you one more time. âOh and Y/N, we should hang out again sometime⊠Text me?â
âOh, sure,â you agree, your stomach fueled with a strange kind of sensation at his words. You know you shouldâve had breakfast in the morningâ surely itâs just you being hungry. âIâll- Iâll text you.â
Only after Jihoon waves at him, finally ridding you off the burden of being his personal armrest, do you realize how hot you feel in your cheeks and how youâve spent the last couple of seconds carefully, intensively watching Eric get his coffee and step out of the building. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, the atmosphere suddenly too quiet to the one there was between the two of you before Eric Sohn arrived, you feel Jihoon elbow you in your side.
âSo,â he starts, already hinting that this is going to be a difficult conversation, âwhatâs up with you and Sohn?â
âHm?â you snap your head around to face him, almost breaking your neck with the force. âWhat do you mean, whatâs up with me and Eric? Thereâs nothing up between the two of us.â
âSure⊠and he wasnât staring at me like he wanted to personally kill me with his own two hands just now, correct?â he teases, making you stop in your tracks.
Was Eric looking at him like that? You didnât even notice.
âCorrect,â you agree. âI donât really think he wasâŠâ
âAnd my name is not Jihoonââ
âStop being so difficult to talk to all the time, dear godââ
âOkay, miss âI find Eric Sohn to be the hottest one in the worldâââ
âWhen have I ever said that?!â you call out again, suddenly feeling a little too hot in your cheeks, ears, and the back of your neck. Whatâs up with this visceral reaction? You swear you were nonchalant about these things!
âOh, sorry, let me correct myself. It was the hottest one in the room, actually, but I think that speaks for itself, since Lee Heeseung himself was presentââ
âAre you jealous, or something?â you choose to counter attack, leaving Jihoon to laugh at you in amusement.
âAs if,â he shakes his head at you. âI just think itâs cute how whenever I see you two interact, he acts like a lost puppy following you and youâre too oblivious to do anything about it.â
âNo, he doesnât,â you furrow your brows at him, the words not even fully registering in your brain. What does he even mean by all of this? You and Eric are friendsâ thatâs all there is to it.
âSure⊠stay being like that and end up a bitchless loser forever, then,â he shrugs. Youâd react more to his pointless argumentsâ because letâs be real, he is just making all of this up to stir some dramaâ but your awfully long order is called right in the moment you open your mouth to come up with a clever comeback, and so you choose to drop the topic, because itâs quite meaningless in your eyes anyway.
Walking back with two cup holders in your hands, fulfilling your one and only task of the day, you turn to Jihoon with a teasing grin. âWait, did you just call Lee Heeseung sexy?â
âIt was purely objectiveââ
âI really hate this, yâknow?â you mutter as you stand in front of the gates of the amusement park, your cheerful roommate standing by your side bouncing on her feet as she waits in excitement.
âShut up,â she says, a smile never leaving her face despite your gloomy expression, âdonât ruin this for me.â
âWell, itâs either you or me that is going to have their day ruined, and I think that judging by the fact that Iâm already here, we know which one is going to turn true,â you say as you aimlessly look around, watching people going in and out of the premises of the park, some with goofy headbands on, some holding balloonsâ all of them sickly in love.
âItâs not like I invited you to a funeral, yâknow,â Izzy grunts, âyou could just act happy for me. It wouldnât hurt you, yâknowââ
âI would act happy for you if you didnât feel the need to drag me to your dates with youââ
âStop being such a party popper, dude. Youâre going to have fun if you just allow yourself to,â she rolls her eyes at you. Yeah, she might be right about some parts of her argumentâ you got free tickets to the amusement park, which you love, just for the recordâ and you also have a day off from your internship and classes, which makes any day basically the best day on earth for you, but there is one thing about this whole situation that is making you doubt it just the tiniest bit.
That being the fact that youâre tagging along to a date. And youâre not alone in itâ which automatically makes this whole thing seem a little too similar to a double date.
âI just donât want him to think I see this as aââ
Your argument is quickly shut off as your roommate physically squeals into your ear before running off, feet automatically taking her to her sweetheart. Sunwoo is quick to catch her in his arms when she jumps into his hold, excited to see him despite hanging out with him two days ago, and youâre left walking slowly to the two approaching figures alone.
The moment you see Eric Sohn wearing tan cargo pants and a red windbreaker over his figure, your throat goes dry. His eyes light up a bit when they land on you, which makes the reality of not being able to run away anymore settle deep inside of your bones, and suddenly, you feel strangely nervous in his vicinity.Â
This hasnât happened to you yet around himâ if you donât count all the moments where you embarrassed yourself in front of him, feeling painfully awkward. However, the fact that this whole situation is too similar to a double date is making you feel slightly weak in your knees simply because of the fact that you donât want Eric to think you want this to be a double date. You only went because Izzy promised to wash the dishes for you for two weeks if you did, and thatâs an offer nobody should turn down, you think.
The idea of Eric Sohn thinking you want to go on a double date with him makes you feel agonizingly embarrassed. You two are just friendsâ nothing more, nothing lessâ and you wouldnât want him to get the wrong idea. You would never think of yourself as someone Eric would invite over for a date in the first place anywayâ you donât want him to have a feeling that you suddenly have high thoughts about yourself.
âY/N! Hi!â Your thoughts are quickly cut off when you hear the boy himself greet you cheerfully, walking up to you to envelope you in a short hug.Â
His arms sneak around you only for a moment, but you feel yourself automatically reciprocating the gesture before it even has a chance to register in your brain. You donât really know when the two of you passed to the level of friendship where you greet each other with a hugâ maybe the few text messages you shared since you last saw him in the coffee shop might have done the workâ but you try to not question it when he pulls away, leaving you awkwardly standing around and watching Sunwoo and your roommate gaze romantically into each otherâs eyes.
âTodayâs gonna be tough,â Eric notes.
Chuckling at his words, knowing heâs referring to the honeymoon stage your friends have somehow ended up inâ because you still canât believe Izzy managed to date the boy after her embarrassing attemptsâ you just shake your head and move towards the entrance of the amusement park, not really wanting to pay any more attention to the couple than you have to.
âIt is,â you agree, âI wouldnât have agreed to go for this exact reason, but the idea of rides persuaded me,â you hum.
âI only went because this was the only way I could get a day off at work,â Eric mutters, âmy stupid sister insisted I come with Sunwoo or else she wouldnât cover my shift.â
âThatâs strange,â you chuckle, furrowing your eyebrows at him. âWhy would she care?â
âI dunno,â he shrugs, âsaid something about âenjoying my youthâ, or something,â he grins. âI donât really even like amusement parks, if Iâm being honest.â
âYou donât?â you gasp, shaking your head at the boy. âDamn. I would think youâre an adrenaline junkie, if Iâm being honest.â
âI am!â he agrees, nodding. âThe other day, though, I saw a Tiktok about a ride breaking down somewhere in Japan, and that was the same day Sunwoo invited me here, so I think it mightâve been a sign from the universe to not go on any of these rides, or else I will die.â
Laughing at his words, shaking your head, you lightly slap his arm at the comment. âDonât say that,â you tell him, âyouâre just being a scaredy cat, admit it.â
âNoâŠâ he suspiciously shakes his head, very obviously lying.
âYeah, rightâŠâ you snicker. âI mean, itâs okay, dude. I wonât laugh.â
âYouâre already laughing, though?â Eric points out, an accusing finger in your face. His actions make you burst into even bigger giggles, eyes meeting his. When your gaze lands onto his faceâ the upper half shielded by the shade casted off his cap, yet still having his eyes crinkled up and cheeks full as he grins at you wide and warm in the sunlightâ your stomach does that weird thing again, completely ruining the moment.
Clearing your throat, trying to keep your composure, you turn your head to search for Izzy and Sunwoo. The moment you catch them in makes your eyes go big and a grunt leave your throat involuntarilyâ the PDA making you even sicker to your stomach. While Sunwoo is standing in front of your roommate, his arms securely around her middle, she is gazing up into his eyes with a pout decorating her lips. The boy holds her cheeks in his hands for a brief moment before he leans in and gives her a short kiss that makes the girl stand up on her tippy toes, chasing for another one.
âOh wow,â you let out, making Eric sigh next to you at the sight.
âNow thatâsâŠâ
âYeah,â you nod while you turn back forward, trying your hardest to not look at the two of them any longer than you physically have to. âI knew they would be like that if they started dating. Itâs like my worst nightmares came true.â
âSunwoo canât stop talking about her either. Iâm starting to think I will know more about your roommate than you do, at this rate.â
âYou might,â you agree, laughing to yourself. âWith how many nights sheâs spent at his place, Iâm starting to think sheâs going to move out soon.â
âWell, thatâs only good for you then, no?âÂ
âYeah,â you agree, joking. âThe only reason why I still keep her around is to pay half the rent, if Iâm being honest,â you chuckle, having the boy shake his head at your playful antics.
The two of you move forwards slowly while looking around the place, trying to see what you should do. The sun is strangely aggressive today, making it hard for you to see as you squint in the brightnessâ since the amusement park doesnât really provide you with much shadeâ only making you a bit more frustrated with your choice of plans today.
âShould we get some drinks first?â Eric asks, pointing towards a stand that sells coffee, milkshakes and other beverages.
The line is long, but you donât really see a reason not to wait. You have the whole day in front of you, after all, and since it seems to you that Sunwoo and Izzy have taken it upon themselves to ignore you two completely, acting like this was their own date, you choose to stick to whatever Eric wants to do.Â
As you move to stand next to himâ while also moving out of someoneâs wayâ the back of your hand comes in contact with the boyâs next to you, having a slight wave of electricity run through your spine as you clear your throat and move away from him, wishing he didnât notice. You take it upon yourself to look around to see what your next choice of plan should be.
After ignoring many couples walking aroundâ since it seems that you chose a day when no other visitors were around, just teenagers holding hands and kissing in front of the rides (much like your friends are doing right now)â you opt to point your eyes at the horizon, looking at the tall constructions and rides. You have to shield your eyes from the sun with your hand to really see them, but the sight of them excites you a bit, so you guess itâs worth it. Squinting at the Pirate ride or the big rollercoaster twisting and turning like a caterpillar in the distance, you make a mental note of all the attractions you want to visit today.
Slowly moving to the top of the line to get coffee with Eric, you continue gazing behind him, blissfully unaware that heâs been watching you the whole time, noticing your little struggle.Â
âAfter we get the coffee, I wanna go on that roller coaster there,â you hum, âand Iâm bringing you with me, because Sunwoo and Izzyââ
Your words get caught in your throat as the man suddenly moves the hand youâve been resting against your eyebrows to shield your eyes from the sunlight down, replacing it by taking his cap off and making you wear it. Your heart jumps at the action, eyes finally relaxing now that theyâre in shade, making you gulp and stare at Eric.
âYou donât have toââ
âI have my sunglasses with me, so itâs fine,â he says, tugging the peak further down your head in a teasing way, a smile adorning his face.
You forgot what you were even saying in the first placeâ the idea of Ericâs hat on your head making your brain overheat a little with the added fabric on top of your hair. Itâs the same cap you see on him oftenâ his favorite one, you thinkâ and your stupid, silly brian is starting to make connotations around the action that youâre sure are not correct.
You canât say youâre not happy about wearing it, though. It does help your eyes.
âYou were saying?â he asks, making you look back at him with big eyes, trying to think of what you were talking about before.
âOh,â you hum, while also simultaneously reaching to fix his hairâ since he hasnât bothered to after taking off his hat for youâ not even thinking about your actions as you run your fingers through the honey strands, âI was just saying youâre gonna have to go on some rides with me, because the lovebirds are ignoring us and I am not going alone,â you repeat.
When youâre done moving the blonde locks to their supposed place, eyes drifting back to Ericâsâ now big and watching your every move, making you falter a little under his gaze and heat creep onto your cheeksâ itâs his turn to clear his throat, shrugging.
âYouâll have to hold my hand when I get scared, though,â he says. The casualty of his tone shocks you, having you watch as the boy averts his gaze from you and presses his lips together into a thin line, not even paying a second thought to the implications of his words.
You pay them a second thought, though.
You keep repeating the words in your brain over and over, fingertips buzzing at the preposition, hands sweating at the mental image. Do you mind the thought of it?
Well, no. You donât.
Not a big deal, after allâŠ
âWhat did you want again? Flat white?â he asks, completely ignoring the previous conversation. You didnât even realize you got to the top of the line, too deep in your thoughts, and before you have a chance to take out your wallet to pay for your drink (or maybe even Ericâs, since he paid the last time), he is holding the cup up to you already.
As you take it from him, your fingers touch again. It makes a warm pool of honey glisten in the pit of your stomach, foolishness creeping up your bones.
The boy takes it upon himself to shock you even further as he swings an arm around your shoulders, tugging you close to him. âLetâs go back to the lovebirds before they forget about our existence completely.â
You choose to ignore the fact that you forgot about their existence yourself.
When you get on the ride a few minutes later, Eric holds onto your hand. Your heart beats a thousand miles an hour, but you will write it off to the adrenalineâ you do, however, foolishly wish he was scared more often.Â
Turns out having Park Jihoon as your coworker isnât as bad as it seems. Sure, he is good at making the atmosphere lighter in the office and also amazing at gossip in the workplace, but he is also surprisingly very good at his jobâ and with the date of your presentation fastly approaching, you had to get all the help you needed.Â
Which is why you made the boy sit with you in the park as you went over it again and again, showing him your laptop and rehearsing your speech, taking notes of every little thing Jihoon said you should fix or add into the whole thing. You genuinely appreciate what heâs doing for you, which is why you also remind yourself to get him something after the internship is doneâ but after at least two hours of working on your laptop with him, he gets tired and his attention span seems to get shorter and shorterâ and you donât really blame him.Â
Actually, you welcome the distractions he offers with open hands. Even more so, you add on to them and fuel them with more conversation, the laptop opened on your thighs long forgotten as you search through your gallery and show the phone screen to your friend, talking about the cute pillows you found at the store last week.
âSee? Theyâre like⊠sea foam green, but Izzy says they wouldnât go with our couch,â you hum, furrowing your brows at him, trying to see a different opinion on your newest choice of furniture for the already overcrowded flat.
âWhat color is your couch again?â he asks as you keep swiping, showing him all the angles of the pillows.
âBrown.â
âOh, hell no,â Jihoon shakes his head, âthatâs a Perry the platypus type of combo, Iâm with Izzy on this oneâ oop, that doesnât look like the pillows anymoreââ
Swiftly turning the phone towards you again, worried of what picture you accidentally revealed to him (while you donât have any nudes on your phone, youâre sure any selfie would be just as much embarrassing), youâre left with heat rising to your cheeks and shame drowning your system.Â
âWell, anyways, so the pillowsââ
âWeâre not talking about the pillows anymore, girlââ
âWe areââ
âNo,â he keeps interrupting you, making you grunt and sigh as you rest your head against the trunk of the tree behind you, banging it against it in frustration.
âShut up,â you mutter. The thing is, you know you wonât escape the teasing nowâ because Park Jihoon watching you swipe through your gallery to a high-angle selfie of Eric Sohn in his work uniform, pouting, is surely a very incriminating image. âWe text on Whatsapp and he sent the pic, so it automatically savedââ
âAnd you just never deleted it, naturally,â Jihoon hums with a shit-eating grin on his face.Â
âI forgotââ
âYou just didnât want toââ
âOh shut the fuck up,â you sigh again, locking your phone and throwing it into the grass.Â
You and Eric have grown close since the day you spent together in the amusement park. So much to the point where you get lunch together sometimes and he sends you selfies when heâs bored at work, it seems. You donât mind the subtle shiftâ hell, you welcome it with open armsâ you just wish Park Jihoon (and Izzy, at this point) would stop teasing you about something that was not even vaguely true.
There is nothing going on between you and Eric Sohn.
And nothing ever will beâ not a chance.
âI think the denial is being a little embarrassing now,â Jihoon chirps, making you swat his shoulder. You are not in denialâ there is nothing to deny.
âYou are being a little embarrassing.â
âYou know Iâm right,â Jihoon shrugs, grinning. Does he not have enough drama in his own life to stick his nose into yours? Not that there is any drama between you and Ericâ but you bet Park Jihoon would love to create some.
âYouâre never right.â
âSure,â Jihoon hums. âIâll mention this on your wedding speechââ
âIâll kill you before I get married,â you grunt.
âBut you didnât deny the identity of the groomââ
Launching at the boy again, a threatening fist almost landing to his cheek, you watch as he wrestles you away with a loud laugh resonating through the space. Something about how lightly he takes the situation makes your stomach churn in an unknown emotionâ you really donât see why everyone thinks there should be something going on between you and your childhood friend.
âLook, all Iâm saying is that if you want this to be a thing, maybe you should finally make a move, since the guy seems to be dull as fuckââ
Interrupting, never letting him finish a sentence when it comes to this topic, you try to finally prove your point. âI donât want this to be a thing. I donât even know what youâre talkingââ
âI should go before Iâm killed,â Jihoon suddenly hurries out, making you furrow your brows at him.
âWhat?â
âSee you on Monday!â the tall male waves, scattering to his feet. He doesnât give you much explanation as he runs off to the other side of the campus, making you watch him with confused eyes. Where has he gone so quickly? He doesnât want to be killed?Â
By whom? Should you be afraid? Should you run as well?
Somebody clears his throat next to you, making you jump as you turn your head to see who is disrupting your peace. The moment your eyes meet the intruder, Jihoonâs comment finally settles inâ god, youâll kill him when you see him again.
âEric! What are you doing here?â you ask, watching as the boy shrugs, taking a seat next to you on the grass.
âJust got off work,â he says, âand you said youâll be here, so I thought Iâd come and say hi,â he hums, yawning and stretching his arms above his head.
The sentiment makes you mentally cooâ the emotion going as far as reaching your face in a form of a gentle poutâ as you dwell deeper over his words. You didnât think that complaining about how you have to do work would make Eric think of visiting you after finishing his own, but something about it makes you all warm from the inside.
âYou didnât have to,â you hum. âYou seem tired.â
A gentle smile is sent your way, so illuminizing it makes you look away. âI know, but I wanted to,â he says, âI also brought you leftovers, if you want some. Itâs almost dinner time.â
An involuntary gasp leaves your throat as you watch the male take out an aluminum wrap from his backpack and offer it to you alongside his bright grin. You waste no time in taking the pizza slices into your hand and carefully unwrapping them, allured by the smell.
âWhy did Jihoon run so fast, by the way?â Eric asks, laughing.
âOh, he said he was late for somethingâŠâ you hum. (Youâre not even convinced of your own excuse. You donât know how Eric doesnât see right through your lies.)
âAh,â the boy nods in acknowledgement, scooping closer to you so his back is now resting against the tree, his eyes gluing themselves onto your laptop screen. His piney smell fills your nose, making your stomach feel like itâs on water, before his soft, tired voice lands into your ear. âDid you make a lot of progress?â
âMhm,â you nod, clicking through the slides and showing him. The boy makes an acknowledging sound after each new information you tell himâ something that makes you find him immensely endearingâ as you simultaneously reach for the pizza and mindlessly offer the slice youâve already bitten into to him, watching as his straight teeth chew down into the dough, sharing one piece with you.
âAre you done for the day? Iâll walk you home,â he says, tiredness completely seeping through his tone now. You can tell he needs sleepâ which makes you feel slightly bad about making him take a detour just to meet you.
âAlmost,â you hum apologetically, closing your laptop. âI just need to read a few more articles Jihoon recommended for me and then I should be done,â you say, reaching for your iPad as you put your computer away into your bag.Â
âOkay,â he nods.
âYou can go home, Eric,â you say, âyou donât have to stay for me.â
âNo, itâs fine,â he shakes his head, smiling at you.Â
Watching him, eyes meeting for a heartbeat, you see that he wonât budge no matter how harshly youâd tell him to goâ so you figure that quickly getting through the articles and going home is your safest bet in this situation. Tapping on the screen and finding the email Jihoon forwarded to you, you open the first link in the message, subconsciously registering as the boy next to you gets comfortable sitting in the grass with you.
You only get through half of the (lengthy) article before you see Ericâs head lolling forwards, sleep taking over him. The motion wakes him, but not for long as he just canât keep his eyes open anymoreâ the combination of a long shift, classes in the morning and finishing up his assignments late in the night getting the worst out of him and making you feel immensely bad for the boy. Not focused on the words in the article anymore, you watch as your friend scooches further down in the grass, acting on instinct as his head suddenly rests against your shoulder, soft hair tickling the side of your neck.Â
Heart leaping in your chest and whole body freezingâ begging the universe to not make the boy wake up from his half-asleep state right nowâ you try your hardest to pay attention to the business tactics described in the article youâve been reading for the last couple of minutes. It seems to be the hardest task youâve ever set your mind on, though, as you notice the screen of your tablet getting dark, mirroring Ericâs relaxed face.
His neck is craned and his eyes are closed shut, making you turn your head to watch the sight first-hand, mentally counting all the eyelashes kissing his cheekbones and his puffed-out lips. Something about his pose doesnât seem the tiniest bit comfortable, thoughâ although it makes a strange wave of satisfaction run through your veinsâ and so, like any other decent person, you gently cradle your fingers through his hair, waking him up.
âHmm?âÂ
âYour neck is gonna be sore,â you quietly say as you put your arm around his shoulder, âjust lay down, yeah?â you say, doing your best at adjusting his position.
The male lets you navigate him with half-lidded eyes as you make him scooch even further down into the grass before you pull his upper body towards your lower half, essentially making the boy lay his head into your lap. Eric looks up at you from his new position for just a few seconds, eye contact reminding you of a small, shy puppy you just brought home from the road, making you smile softly and treat him as one when you instinctively reach out and pet his head, running your fingers through his soft strands and gently scratching his scalp.
After a few seconds, the male closes his eyes again, seemingly drifting off into the dreamland. Your actions soothe him and simultaneously bring you into some sort of trance you canât bring yourself out ofâ eyes glued to his face, studying it.
The angle of his nose and the slope of his upper lip is much more enjoyable to study and memorize than the sales statistics of your jobâs concurrency. You find his long eyelashes to be nothing far from angelic, his light hair like a crown of gold under your touch. Everything about him is soft and gentle in this stateâ with the golden hour shining down onto his features, making his skin glisten like honeyâ the view so pretty youâd like to take a picture to remember it forever.
Your head spins and your stomach does that weird thing again. This is not the first time you are acknowledging Ericâs attractivenessâ just the first time you are appreciating his beauty, his prettiness to the point where you are enchanted by it, not able to tear your attention away. You canât deny the fact that it affects you anymore.
You canât deny the fact you feel around him lately. It makes you feel strange and embarrassed, but not to the point where youâd want to keep away from him.
Your iPad is thrown next to you on the grass, forgotten and abandoned. Youâre jealous of the sunâ for itâs able to kiss his cheeks without fear, without judgmentâ the boy turning into a putty under your touch, subconsciously leaning into it when you drag his light bangs away from his forehead.Â
You admit the fact that you stopped working on your project the moment he arrived, not able to put your attention elsewhere than to his presence. Youâre also aware heâd sleep better and more comfortably in his own bed, but for some reason, you selfishly want to keep him thereâ looking like a painting, something akin to a poem you wish you wrote.
Just for the moment, you let the reality down on youâ that maybe Park Jihoon was right and there is no use denying the obvious anymore. Just for the moment, you let the feeling consume you, eat you alive. For now, though, the boy in your lap is all yours to admire. Blissfully unaware and painfully beautiful, soft and gentle all around.
The feeling inside of you is too raw, too real and so much different to anything youâve ever known before.
When youâre satisfied with the dose of skinship, you wake the boy up and let him walk you home. You pretend for a moment the feeling is reciprocated and not left scared and lonely out in the open as Eric helps you carry your stuff for you and pulls you into a bear hug in front of your doorstep. You donât tell him that you had the scariest realization while he was soundly asleep in your armsâ itâs too scary and too real and youâre not ready to get your heart broken just yet.Â
You pretend everythingâs like before. Normal.Â
You convince yourself that it will pass.
Once you enter the place, youâre instantly surrounded by the sound of people talking amongst each other, forks and glasses being put down, resonating through the whole place, the phone ringing somewhere in the distance, and a cold shot of liquid coming in contact with your stomach, making you gasp out in surprise.
âOh shit!â Sunwoo grunts as he registers the mess he just caused, looking up at you with an apologetic look. âIâm sorry!â
Noticing the rush everywhere in the pizzeria and the amount of customers he has to take care of, you canât really blame him for not watching where heâs going. Still, your face slowly morphs into a subtle frown at the realization that there is now a dark stain on your favorite white T-shirt, your outfit for the evening ruinedâ meaning half of your confidence disappeared just as fast as the Coca-Cola did from the glass Sunwoo has been holding.Â
âItâs okay,â you sigh, shaking your head. âItâs nothingââ
âIâll get you a towel! Iâll be right back,â the boy urgently says as he makes you hold the half-empty glass of the beverage he just spilled all over you, making you shrug and question if you should just drink the rest of it as a price of consolation.
âDude, this place is packed,â Izzy grunts from next to you, âcanât even blame him for being all over the place, at this point.â
âYeah,â you absent-mindledly nod, eyes searching in the crowd to find the figure you came here for in the first place. Not that you only want his presence, noâ itâs just that Eric was the one who invited you to the festival your university is throwing as a celebration of the end of the semester. Supposedly, he knows the guy thatâs playing in the band thatâs headlining it, and even though you tried to refute his arguments and invitations with the fact that you have nothing to be celebrating just yetâ the final season is surely going to kick your butt and the presentation for your internship is in just two days, which means you should be preparing for it really hard right in this moment, but his pleading voice in your speaker as you talked to him on the phone on your way home from class was strong enough to convince you that maybe you do need some time to wind off before the responsibilities sweep you off your feet again.
Once you find the boy himself walking away from one of the tables in the corner, his eyes find yoursâ as if knowing youâve been looking for him, sensing your presence. His face is outstretched into a smile as he practically skips towards you and Izzy, but the grin leaves his features swiftly once he notices the ugly stain on your shirt.
âDamn, what happened?â he asks.
âSunwoo spilled a drink over me,â you shrug, watching as his coworker rolls his eyes in frustration at the new information. You laugh at his fakely mad expression, shaking your head at him. âItâs fine, he was in a rush.â
âYeah, weâre kinda behind, so I donât know ifââ
âNo, itâs fine!â you hear a female voice call out, making you snap your head towards the direction of the counter behind you, noticing the presence of Lisa, Ericâs older sister. Her face is adorned with a wide grin that gets a teasing hint when her brother sends her a questioning look, making you watch the interaction with interest. âYou said youâre leaving at 7, so youâre leaving at 7. I told dad my friends are coming up to help today, so you just go and enjoy your time out!â
âReally?â Eric asks, tone full of disbelief. You think he spends more time at the restaurant than he does in his own bedroom, and suddenly, youâre happy his sister is being so kind towards the poor boy.
âYeah! You have more important business to take care of anyway, soâŠâ Lisa says, wiggling her eyebrows at Eric. The boy sends her a look full of fearâ which might be justified, since you donât really know whatâs going on at the momentâ before he clears his throat and turns his attention back towards you.
âAnywaysâŠâ he starts, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. âYou can change into my shirt, if you wantâŠ? I have a spare one in the back in a case of emergency, and this surely looks like one, soââ
âOh, itâs okay, you donât have toââ
âI mean, the stain is pretty noticeable, so I was justââ he says.Â
âItâs fine, Eric, Iâll just wash it in the sink, or something.â
âOr you can take my shirt that does not have a stain on it. I swear it doesnât smell, I only wore it once! Iâll wear the one I forgot in my locker the other day,â he says, looking at you with wide, expecting eyes. Your heart does a flip in your ribcage.
You have to mentally restrain yourself from freaking out over this. Heâs just being nice. Heâs offering you his shirt because he probably knows that you want to look goodâ he is offering you his shirt because he knows the stain on yours is bothering you and that it wouldnât come out as easily in the sink if you donât wash the shirt properly with laundry detergent that you donât have on hand right nowâ and when you weight all the positives and negatives of the offer (which you find far less pros than cons in, just for the record), you realize you donât really have a reason to decline his offer.
âI mean, if youâre sureâŠâ
The boy only nods, gently takeing you by your forearm as he leads you towards the back. Youâve never been there before and you also donât really know where Izzy disappeared to, but you stop worrying about those the same moment Eric opens his locker and hands you his black shirt, a tight-lipped smile adorning his features.
âIâll give you some privacy.â
âThanks,â you nod. You wait for the door to close before you quickly drag your sticky T-shirt over your head and discard it off your chest, glad youâre ridded of the nasty feeling of it against your skin, fastly putting on the soft material that Eric draped onto your hold before on your upper body.Â
The smell of his cologne instantly hits you in the face stronger than a baseball ever could, making your head spin and your stomach feel like itâs floating in the middle of the sea. Taking a quick look at yourself in the mirror on the wall next to you, you admire the way the garment fits you just wellâ since the height difference between you and Eric is barely existent. It makes you wonder if you could share wardrobesâ the mental image of him in your favorite oversized graphic T-shirts making a foolish smile creep onto your cheeks, one that you forcefully wipe off the second you see it in the mirror. You smooth down the fabric before you tuck one side into the waistband of your jeans, satisfied with your new outfit.Â
Giddy, you walk out of the storage room. It takes you a few moments to find your group of friends standing next to the counter, chatting. You notice that Sunwoo has already changed out of his work uniform into his regular clothesâ a black band tee and camo cargo pantsâ one arm around Izzyâs shoulders.
âReady?â your roommate asks, watching you nod.
âIâll just go change and then we can go,â Eric says, swiftly turning on his heel and disappearing into the room you just came out of.
Izzy and Sunwoo talk amongst each other before they turn to you, finally deciding to include you in their conversation. âExcited for tonight? Eric said you need to destress,â Sunwoo raises his eyebrows at you, making you shrug.
âI guess,â you hum, âI think I practiced my presentation so many times I could recite it in my sleep now, but it also strangely feels like I donât know it enough, yâknow?â you say, shaking your head. âItâs driving me crazy.â
âI just think you need to take your mind off things, babe,â Izzy chirps, sending you a comforting smile. âYou worked hard enough.â
âWell, we will find out soon if it really was enough,â you snicker, making your roommate glare at you with disapproval. Before she has a chance to ridicule you for your self-deprecating thoughts, you choose to change the topic instead, picking one thatâs interesting her enough to forget all about your worries. âI heard from Izzy you wanna go bowling?âÂ
âYeah!â Sunwoo perks up, excitement swirling in his dark orbs. âI havenât been in a while, actually. I was thinking us four could go after exams are done? As a celebration?âÂ
You four. You find the fact that this is your new usual strange, but also welcome. How you fit into the group, your presence always counted on. Somewhere along the way, you fell into the causality of the friend groupâ and you canât say you hate it as much as you thought you would.Â
âYeah, Iâm down,â you shrug. âIâve never played, though.â
âDude, you and Eric go so well together, then. Heâs actually shit at it, so I would even go as far as saying you will be better than him after two tries,â Sunwoo laughs.Â
You and Eric go so well togetherâ your brain repeats like a mantra. You know he didnât mean it in that way. You canât help but wonderâ if youâd ask, would he further support his point?
âSpeaking of Eric, whatâs taking him so long? Weâre gonna be late for the concert, at this point,â Izzy hums, checking the time on her phone.
âShould I go tell him to hurry?â you ask, receiving a pair of nods ushering you to go get him.
Taking a few steps towards the staff-only room, not thinking much before you pull the doorknob, you peep insideâ regretting it immediately.
Youâre met with the image of Eric turning towards the door to see who it is, shirtless. Your eyes canât help but wander over the angles of his defined arms and stomach, making heat rush into your cheeks faster than youâve ever felt it before, a broken noise escaping your throat as you pathetically try to both apologize and pretend you didnât just have a visceral emotion to the sight of his bare body right there, a few meters away from you.
âShit, sorry, I justââ you say as you turn on your heel, your body moving by itself and on its own accord as your brain flashes a few red exclamation marks right in front of your eyes, âthey justâ we should hurry, they said,â you mutter out, blanking.
âComing!â Eric hums, the shuffling of clothes behind you making you believe he is now fully dressed. You wonât test your theory and look over your shoulder, thoughâ you fear the dreams youâd have tonight if you saw him shirtless even for a second longer. You donât take the initiative to leave the room either, thoughâ feet glued to your spot right behind the door.
You hear the locker slammed shut, the sound of footsteps approaching making you all alert. God, you feel awkward. You feel embarrassingly awkward.
You find comfort in picking at the fabric of his shirt on your body, playing with it in between your fingers. After a moment, you feel his palm come in contact with your shoulder, his arm reaching around your figure as he leads you out of the storage room once again, completely ignoring your flustered state. Youâre not sure if heâs uncomfortable or if he truly didnât mindâ but the moment he utters out his next comment, your knees almost buckle, making you breathless at the sight of his cheeks dusted a light pink.
Tugging at the sleeve of his own shirt adorning your body, he admits: âThis looks really good on you, by the way.â
When you arrive at the festival, the band isnât playing yet. You and your friends decide to hang out in the back of the crowd, not really wanting the music to blast straight into your ears from the speakers on the podium, and before you even have a chance to ask Eric who is the friend thatâs singing in the band youâre here to see, the male disappears to find the toilets.
Chuckling at the fact that he couldnât take care of the business before you left the pizzeria, but also suddenly too bored without him (since Izzy and Sunwoo donât count as proper company when all they pay attention to at this point of their relationship is each other), you decide to get in the line for drinks, announcing your departure to the love birds before you go. You figure you should probably get a drink for Eric too, since he always makes it his quest to pay for yours before you even get a chance to take out your wallet, and you suddenly see his departure as the perfect opportunity to do just thatâ he wonât have a way to stop you this time.Â
Standing promptly at the end of the line, you people-watch and listen to conversations of the fellow students hanging around the field. The drink stands are the most occupied out of the whole festival, the crowd of people waiting for a beverage accumulating half the population waiting for the concert, making you almost regret going here alone, since itâs pretty boring to just stand around, doing nothing.
âDamn,â someone hums from behind you, making you turn around to face the stranger, âIâm doomed.â
Instinctively, you raise your brows in question at the male, only prompting him to speak more once you make eye contact.Â
âIâm playing on stage in a bit, but I wanted to get a beer before we start,â the guy states, chuckling. âAt this rate, Iâm gonna be late for my own set!âÂ
The fact that one of the band members that are supposed to perform in just a few minutes is currently standing behind you in line for drinks is a little amusing, to be honest. Youâd say itâs kind of irresponsible to get to your own gig late, but you guess the boy is living the lifestyle of a punk star already, despite bagging only a mere university concert.
âYou should try skipping the line and saying youâre VIP, then,â you joke.Â
âAnd get killed? No, thank you,â the boy laughs, shaking his head. âIâll just see if I can make it in 15 minutes. If I donât, Iâll just make a run for it.â
Laughing, you nod in acknowledgement at his comment. You donât really expect the conversation to go any further after that, but the stranger surprises you as he offers you his hand to shake, a lazy smile appearing on his face as he introduces himself.
âIâm Yeonjun, by the way,â he says.
âOh, nice to meet you. Iâm Y/N,â you smile, shaking his outstretched palm.
âHow come Iâve never seen you around before?â he hums, making a step towards you as the line moves, making you walk back a step to close the gap in the crowd. Still, he follows you a step further and invades your personal bubble, standing too close for someone youâve just met.
âMaybe you have,â you shrug, âand you just donât remember it.â
âIâd remember a pretty face like yours,â Yeonjun comments, making you bite back a laugh.Â
Is he flirting? Wow. You scan the male up and down, his self-assured stance making you believe that he is very confident in his persona. Maybe itâs the fact that heâs very attractiveâ plump lips, tall, shoulders broadâ or maybe itâs the social status that comes with being in a band. Nonetheless, you can see the act working on many women.Â
Not you, though.
âWell, I study business, so maybe thatâs why.â
The male nods, shrugging. âMaybe Iâll have to hang around the business building more often, then.â
âMaybe,â you nod, chuckling. âThere's a bunch of weirdos majoring in Accounting out there, though, so Iâd watch my back, if I was you.â
âWell, if it means I get to see your face, I can put that past me,â Yeonjun smirks, making you mentally roll your eyes at the cheesiness of his words.
You donât really get affected by obvious pick-up lines like these. Not that you hear them oftenâ quite the opposite, reallyâ but you much prefer more natural dynamics. One where conversations feel easy and casual, not forced and with deeper intentions. You canât deny Yeonjunâs attractiveness, no, but you also canât really say itâs doing much for you.
Not really knowing what to reply, you awkwardly shrug. âAnd what do you major in, then?â
âCommunications,â the male replies. Something in you clicksâ is this the friend Eric was mentioning? You should ask him about Yeonjun after he comes back.
Before you even have a chance to open your mouth and say the words, the male cuts you off after taking a quick glance at his phone. âLook, Y/N, Iâd love to get to know you more, but I really have to run now. But if you give me your number, we can get a drink together after my gig is done?â
âOhââ
âThat wonât be needed,â you hear a low voice coming from behind you, making your eyes snap towards the source. Your eyes go wide as you recognise the owner of the voice instantly, your heart hammering in your chest at the close proximity he puts between the two of you. âSheâs with me, actually.â
âEric, dude!â Yeonjun beamsâ confirming your suspicions. âSorry dude, I didnât know that was your girl.â
Your girl. The two words echo in your ears, making your world tilt slightly on its axis. Itâs not even trueâ youâre not together and youâre not Ericâs in any way, shape or formâ but something about being called that by other people while wearing his clothes makes you feel like you just shifted realities into one where youâre with him and not so scared of his rejection. One where youâre dating and you get to be called that all the timeâ one where the words are true.Â
Youâre being foolish again.
You look at Eric in shock, noticing him already staring down at you with a panicked expression on his face. You donât really know whatâs going on in his head behind the shaking orbs of his, a tight-lipped smile offered to his mate as the tips of his ears burn red, a hesitant tone of voice making it known that the possessive words caught him off guard just as much as they did to you. âWell, not exactlyâŠâ
The male trails off. Your stomach does that weird thing again. Youâd say thereâs a soaring hint of hope in your chest, swimming around your intestines, that you want to simultaneously help and also drown in fear of holding on to something that is not even there in the first place, as you look back at Yeonjun. He is now staring the two of you downâ shifting his gaze from one of you to the other, a knowing grin appearing on his lips as he processes the situation.Â
âO-oh⊠Okay, I see what you mean,â he nods, laughing. âWell, see you two later! Iâmma head to the stage,â he pats Ericâs shoulder and waves at you before fully disappearing from the never-ending drink line.
A suffocating silence engulfs the two of you after his departure, making you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek. The thoughts running through your brain almost suffocate you before Eric brings air into your lungs again, making your inner monologue stop as he casually speaks up again, showing you that nothing has changed in your dynamic after this interaction and there is no reason for you to feel awkward with him right now.Â
You just need to silence your thoughts and feelings more efficiently. These slip-ups canât keep happening.
âWhat will you have to drink?â he asks.
âIâm not telling you, because then youâll get it for me and I decided Iâm paying today,â you say, batting your eyelashes innocently at the male.
âI can just pay anyway, you know?â he laughs, making you shake your head.
âYou donât have to do that,â you hum. âActually, I donât want you to. You keep getting things for me, so I think this is the time to repay the favor.â
âDamn it,â he sighs. âThat was me paying the Y/N subscription, though. How will I manage to make you keep hanging out with me now?â he jokes, shaking his head.
âStupid,â you giggle, teasingly pushing him out of your way. âWhat will you get? And donât say nothing, itâs my time to pay the Eric subscription fee.â
âI actually get paid in hugs and cuddles, so this doesnât work on me,â the male shrugs, avoiding eye contact with you.Â
âDamn,â you hiss through your teeth, acting distraught. âThat payment is long overdue, then. Wonder if theyâll come and take my house, or something.â
âI heard they wonât if you pay back what you owe,â he states casually.
How can he say such things with a straight face? Does he not realize just how much his sweet words affect you? Does he not know you feel like he has a magnet inside of him at all times that is begging to pull you in and glue you to his side, always and forever? Is he unaware of the effect his arms have on you whenever he puts them around your shoulders in public, or to the way your hands sweat whenever his fingers mindlessly drag themselves along the length of shoulder while doing so?
Or does he know and only wants to drive you crazier, more insane? Does he enjoy your misery?
âHope itâs not a lot, then,â you joke, watching as the boy finally looks at you, eyes soft and glimmering, shoulders shrugging.
âIâll hand the accounting over to you,â he says. âI trust that youâll figure it out.â
Punching him in the shoulder lightly, you shake your head at his antics. âPeach iced tea, then?âÂ
âHow did you know?â
âYou always get that one when youâre driving,â you say, walking up to the counter.
He lets you pay for the drink this time, eyes glued to your figure. Youâre unaware of the way he watches you in the crowd, just as much as he is of the fact that he doesnât have to fear an older, taller band guy stealing your attention away from him.Â
You come back to your friends with the drinks in hand just in time for the show to start. You watch the stage and grin at the sight of the frontman you just met having the time of his life during his gig, while the boy next to you watches your face every time a love song appears on the setlist. Neither of you are bold enough to dance together to the slow beats the way Izzy and Sunwoo are, lovingly gazing into each otherâs eyes. You share knowing looks insteadâ growing shy when you hum the lyrics off the well-known songs Yeonjunâs band covers and the words get too intimate.Â
In the tune of love by wave to earth, though, when your heart skips a beat as Ericâs hand accidentally brushes against yours, you decide they wrote the song about himâ not that youâll ever admit that out loud.
The doorbell rings. Alone in the apartment, but knowing exactly who youâre expecting to see on the other side of the doorâ well, at least who youâre hoping to seeâ you shuffle towards the hall in your socked feet, taking your sweet time, your pace slow. There is not much energy stored in your body after today, and even though you wish to just bury yourself under the covers of your bed and sleep until you regain everything that your internship took away from youâ until you donât feel so bad about yourself and so defeated with your effortsâ your small, fragile heart yearns for the presence of one person in particular, making you sheepishly order pizza through their website, because you know he has work today and there is no other way for you to see him.
Reaching for the handle, you open the door and reveal your busted appearance to Eric Sohn standing at your doorstep with a box of pizza in his hands, a light pink hoodie covering his figure, eyes big as the moon staring at you all expecting.
âSo? How did it go?â he asks, genuinely hopeful. The boy has been suspicious of your mood ever since you got the final presentation on your internship over with and you didnât instantly text him, telling him how it wentâ and the look he finds on your face only further proves his suspicions.
Your face morphs into a deep frown, trying to bite back your tears. His cheerful demeanor drops the moment he sees you struggling, not wasting a second as he shifts towards you and makes you back up into your apartment, putting the pizza box onto the coffee table in your hall before throwing his arms around your body, leading your grabby hands to hold on to the fabric of his sweater.
âIt was terrible,â you sniffle, feeling the palm of his hand cradle your head into the crook of his shoulder, petting your slightly matted hair. A few tears escape your eyes and roll down your cheeks, making your whole body shake and tremble in his hold.Â
You donât usually show how affected you are by disappointment. You feel a bit humiliated, a bit embarrassing for both flunking your presentation and also for showing your weakness in front of Eric, but his gentle nature and the comfort you feel in his sheer presence is enough for you to forget about the hurt. You try to focus on the warmth of his skin instead, on the way his arm soothingly runs down your back, making you ground yourself. There is not much you can tell him in your current position, words getting caught in your throat, but itâs still enough for him to understand.
âI worked so hard on it,â you mumble, âI tried so- I tried so hard, and then they said it w-was bad andââ
âShh, itâs okay,â he hums, holding you closer to him.Â
Youâre not used to not being instantly good at everything. Itâs something you have yet to come to terms with after getting into university. Youâre no longer the top of your class and you arenât the best at all assignments and final exams you take anymoreâ and itâs a big kick to your ego. It makes you feel useless. It makes you feel stupid.
And thatâs world-shattering. The image you once had of yourself is now taken forcefully away from your hands, replaced by disappointment and shame from the fact that youâre only mediocre and everything you thought about yourself up to this point was just a mere lie.
âY/N, you tried your best. And I know you feel bad now, but Iâm still proud of you for working so hardâ itâs not your fault your efforts werenât appreciated,â he says close to your ear, trying his hardest to be the calm after the storm for you.
After a few moments spent breathing in his scent, anchoring yourself to his presence, you force yourself to pull away from his chest. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, averting his gazeâ because still, this is all so new to you and you donât really know how to let yourself feel less foolish for your sudden outburstâ you shrug and clear your throat.
âUhm⊠thank you,â you mumble, âsorry forâŠâ
âNo,â he shakes his head, suddenly moving to take off his shoes. âThereâs nothing to be sorry for.â
âYouâre⊠Eric, you have work, you canât just stay. I donât want you to get in troubleââ
âThey canât fire me,â he chuckles, trying to make light of the situation. After you watch him with worried, guilty eyesâ because even though the logical part of your brain is telling you to throw him out of your apartment and just go eat the pizza you ordered as you bite back your own tears, the emotional side of you really wants him here, it really wants him close. He moves towards you again and ruffles your hair, gentle eyes watching you, preventing you from protesting any further. âItâs okay, Y/N. You need me here more than they do tonight, trust me.â
âI feel bad now,â you mumble.
âI know,â he playfully notes, âthatâs why Iâm here. Besides, youâre more important than work anyway.â
âThatâs a pretty fucked up list of priorities,â you laugh airly, trying to mask the way his words have your heart squeezing on itself, nervous gold swirling in your stomach.
âIt works for me,â he shrugs.
The moment you move back towards your room, the realization of the fact that Ericâs never seen it before sinks in fully, suddenly making you nervous about the act. Everything feels strangely natural as he enters the space, though, feet shuffling towards your bed as he takes a seat on the comfy mattress. However, your eyes still nervously scan your room, chewing on your bottom lip as you wonder if the perception of you has changed after seeing the state of you, the state you live in. âIâm sorry, itâs kinda messyââ
âY/N.â
Looking at him, noticing the encouraging, gentle gaze he offers you, everything around you shifts in its axisâ the world stops, giving you a chance to breathe, a chance to exhale, and the weight slowly disappears off your shoulders.Â
âRelax,â he laughs softly as he reaches for your hand, tugging you towards him. Taking your place in between his legs, towering over the sweet creature in your bed, you feel like you can finally breathe more easily now that heâs here.
Itâs okay, you realize. Magically, today no longer feels like the end of the world.Â
His thumb gently swipes across the back of your palm, making your insides turn into a putty, a soft smile slowly mirroring his appearing on your previously frowning face.Â
âIâd like to, uh..â you clear your throat, shying away from his gaze, âpay back the missed subscription fees then, if I can.â
Your bold statement has the room fall into an overbearing silence. For a moment, you forget itâs Eric who youâre withâ the man that never judges you, the only one that makes you feel safeâ as you go into a momentary panic. When you dare to look at him again, though, you notice him eagerly searching for your gaze, a boyish smile playing with his lips showing you that he doesnât mind you askingâ quite the opposite, really. He enjoys the preposition.
The male leans back in your bed and watches you as you climb next to him. For a moment, you donât really know what to do, being too shy to hold onto him the way you truly want to, but the male wastes no time as he shuffles a bit in your sheets and moves to his side. One of his arms sneaks around your middle, pulling you to him, as his leg carelessly swings over your feet, trapping you in. His whole body weight rests against your figure, but it does nothing to suffocate you or take air out of your lungsâ quite the opposite, really.Â
You feel content in his hold. Your hand instinctively holds onto his forearm, keeping him close. If you could, youâd crawl into his skin, make a home in his chest and stay there, protected from all bad. What you donât realize is that thereâs a little fort in his heart reserved as a house for you alreadyâ one he guards and lets no one intoâ the unspoken, tender words now hanging everywhere around the corners of your room.
âThe pizza will get cold, though,â he mumbles, tone of voice low from the close proximity of him next to you, the desire to protect the intimacy showing through the hushed out words.
âIâm not hungry,â you say lazilyâ exposing him to the fact that itâs not the food you needed tonight when you were ordering. âI kinda feel sleepy, thoughâ you admit, letting your eyes rest a bit. Youâve been restless ever since you came home from work todayâ you didnât know all you needed to finally turn off your endless stream of thoughts was Ericâs presence.
âSleep, then,â he hums. âIâll heat it up for you when you wake up.â
You let out a disapproving sound.
âYou need sleep. And also food,â he scolds you, his other hand somehow sneaking itself under your figure and into your hair again, playing with the strands and scratching at your scalp. âYouâve been stressing out for so long, no wonder youâre so worn out right now.â
You feel like youâve been laid bare, exposed right in front of his eyes. You feel naked and fully vulnerable, but you make no effort to shield yourself from his gaze, for itâs not prying and unwanted, but gentle and caringâ so much to the point you feel like itâs going to consume you. Your head spins and your heart aches with deep yearningâ itâs strange.Â
You already know what that feeling is:Â
Youâre falling, falling, and falling.
All thereâs left is to hope he wonât drop you. All there is left is to hope heâll catch you on your way down.
Your body shifts so itâs facing him, your breathing mixed. Your faces are inches away from each other, making you afraid to open your eyes and study him from up closeâ for you think he knows how to read you too well by now, and your lingering gaze would tell him too much. Eyes donât lie, after allâ they never do.
âYou did well,â he hums.Â
The shattered pieces of your tender heart spill themselves into his outstretched palms. You watch as he mends them together, sewing them with an invisible, red string. The boy silently leans into your face and his lips press a gentle kiss to your cheek, only further strengthening your decision to stay blind in the moment, not wanting to reveal just how much youâre affected by the tender action.Â
Itâs been a long dropâ a slow one, one you could get used to. Still, youâre falling, falling and falling,
And even though youâre unaware, heâs there all this time, waiting at the bottom, his arms open wide.Â
The idea of celebrating the end of the exam season with Izzy, Eric and Sunwoo by going bowling is quickly and forcefully taken out of your hands when you arrive at Sohn's Pizza to pick the boys up, all dressed up and ready. The place is full of people, there is screaming coming out of the kitchen, and while usually, Eric or Sunwoo would be greeting you by coming out of the back and welcoming you in, there is no one in your sightâ which makes you just the tiniest bit suspicious.
Sharing a concerned look with your roommate, the two of you curiously walk through the place and peek behind the counter, being met with emptiness as more screaming resonates through the kitchen. You donât mean to intrude or listen in on a conversation youâre not exactly invited to, you really donâtâ but you just canât help it as the sound of Ericâs angry, frustrated voice cuts through the space, catching not only your attention, but also everyone elseâs in the restaurant.
âI donât care that dad is too scared to hire someone into our sacred family business!â he huffs. âI donât give a single flying fuck, because now, our plans are ruined again, all because they decided to go on a surprise holiday and they left us three to deal with the whole place!â Eric ironically sings the words âsurprise holidayâ as he expresses his frustration, showing how much the whole situation bothers him.
âEric, calm down, people can hear youââ you hear Lisa muttering, making you chuckle at the interaction between the siblings.
âSo if dad wants to go on a holiday ever again, he either hires someone so we donât have to be here 24/7, or I quit!â he finishes his little rant.Â
There is a moment of silence behind the thin walls, making you and Izzy stare at each other with a blank lookâ a look empty, but full of understanding that there is no bowling happening today and there is nothing you can really do about itâ before the sound of dishes hitting the floor hits your ears, making you wince. The fall is followed by a pained voice full of misery.
âFUCK!â
Izzy chuckles, opening the door to the kitchen without much hesitance, inviting the two of you into the chaotic situation. Taking a step towards the room behind the staff only sign which you ignore because Izzy thinks sheâs basically a part of the family now, you look around a bit anxiously, being met with the sight of Eric picking up bowls and pans from the floor and throwing them back into the sink to wash, Sunwoo adding topics to a pizza with furrowed brows and his bottom lip jolted out (clearly sulking), and Lisa checking up on the food in the oven.
All three pairs of eyes are glued to you the moment the sound of the door opening fills the space, two sets lighting up and the third one looking at you with pure curiosity.Â
âNeed any help around here?â Izzy chuckles, looking around. The place is messyâ covered with sauce in some places, flour all over Sunwooâs apron, soap and water dripping down the cleaning station. Itâs clear as hell the three of them arenât handling the after-exam Friday rush well by themselves, and although you mourn the idea of relaxing in a bowling alley with your friends after the hard weeks of finals, you canât say youâre too disappointed.
You canât play bowling, after all, and you still get to see your friendsâ so itâs no big deal.
âNo, you donât have toââ Eric starts, ever-so considerate.
âItâs okay, we justââ Sunwoo follows, the two boys not wanting to share the responsibility thatâs not yours.
After hearing each other interrupting their dismissive words, the two look at each other and chuckle. âIâm afraid we canât hang out today, though. As you can see, our parents left the place to us and went on a holidayââ
âWe heard,â you cut the ownerâs son off, a teasing grin on your face shutting the boy up instantly, to which he offers you a shy look as he drowns his hands in the sink again, trying to tackle the dishes.Â
Walking over to the poor boy reminding you a little of a wet dog now, since his bangs are damp as well, making you believe heâs been running his hands through in frustration mid-washing upâ you take a kitchen towel off one of the shelves and decide to dry off the plates heâs done scrubbing, putting them away neatly on one of the trays situated next to the sink and getting them ready for the next customers. You donât really ask what to help with, since youâre sure Eric and Sunwoo wouldnât tell you eitherâ feeling bad for making you work with them instead of taking you out like they promised they wouldâ you only tackle what seems to be the most important task in the moment, helping out the best you can.
âIzzy, Iâm really sorry for exploiting you,â Lisa starts out, making the whole room laugh out at her joke, âbut for a free pizza or maybe even two, would you mind doing the waitressing for a bit? I fear people out there are mad as hell, but maybe if you tell them we are short on staff todayââ
âIâm on it!â your roommate nods and salutes to the older girl, disappearing back into the main area of the pizza place. Since she has some experience with waitressing and working in the food service, you doubt there is anything to worry about.
The kitchen quiets down, the only sounds heard being from the sink, an occasional sigh escaping Sunwooâs throatâ he really must have been looking forward to this dayâ the atmosphere growing less heavy and hectic with two more pairs of hands in the building. You know they donât want to admit it, but the boys are secretly glad for the helpâ it makes working so much easier and less nerve-wrecking to the employed youngsters.
âIâm sorry,â falls out of between Ericâs lips after a while, low and sincere. You look at him from your place to the left of his figure, furrowing your brows at him in question.
âHuh?â you voice out, watching him shrug.
âWell, we were supposed to hang out today and now we canât, soâŠâ the boy trails off, making you chuckle and coo at him, touched with his sincerity.
âThatâs not really your fault, so I donât see why youâre apologizing,â you say, âbesides, we are still hanging out now, no? I donât mind the location change,â you smile, slightly bumping your hip into his, the kitchen towel now getting damper and damper with the amount of dishes youâve dried off with it in such a small time frame.
The two of you continue on with the task, all while playfully bumping hips from time to time, trying to catch the other one off guard with the contact, grins shared between the two of you. You barely register Izzy coming in and out of the kitchen, telling the cookâ Sunwooâ the new orders, Eric and you pulled into your own bubble, attention focused mostly on each other, then at the otherwise domestic act accompanying you in your interaction.
âExams went well?â Eric asks.Â
Nodding, you hum in agreement. âSome were harder than others, but I didnât fail any, so thatâs a win. You?â
âAbout the same,â he grins. âI mean, the grades arenât great, but I passed all of them, soâŠâ
You laugh at his comment, shaking your head at his attitude. You wish you could take school and all of its responsibilities with as much ease as your friend doesâ too bad youâre an anxious over-achiever and donât really know how to relax ever.
âAcademic weapon,â you joke.
âOh, thatâs your title,â he says as he finally scrubs off the last plate and turns the tap off, placing it into your hands to dry, âI donât even try, because I donât wanna take it away from you,â he jokes.
âSo considerate,â you muse, rolling your eyes at him. The boy wipes his hands on the towel hanging off your arm, the two of you sharing a playful lookâ Ericâs eyes swirling with honey and gold inside, making you all warm and fuzzy. You find it hard to look away.
The noise of someone suddenly clearing their throat catches you off guard and pops the soap bubble youâve been trapped in with your friend, making you look at the source, curious what his sister has to say. She is looking at the two of you with a teasing smirk on her face that instantly makes your cheeks burnâ for you know you were caught staring too much, too long at her younger brotherâ before she points to the pizza boxes in front of her, towering so much they almost topple over and drown her in the baked dough and cheese.
âI need you two to do the deliveries,â she muses, âif you donât mind, of course.â
Shaking your head, showing that youâre completely fine with the task, the two of you walk over towards the impressive pizza tower. Eric takes the bigger half into his hands while Lisa puts the car keys onto the box on top of your smaller stack, sending you a knowing look that you try to ignore.Â
Walking out of the place, noting that one person could very well do the deliveries alone after loading up the car, but also realizing that even though you could be more needed inside, you kinda wanna spend more time with Eric, you wait for him to shut the car door and tell you the next instructions.
âI think the most efficient way to do this is one of us driving and the other one going up to the doors with the orders,â he muses, watching you nod in understanding. âI can drive, if you want?â
Chewing on the inside of your cheek, not really happy with the mental image of talking to so many people tonight, you huff. âI kinda wanna drive, thoughâŠ?â you peep.Â
The male stares at you for a few secondsâ as if contemplating if youâre safe enough of a driver, or somethingâ before he places the key into your hand and closes your palm, entrusting you with⊠pretty much his life, if you really think about it. In his defense, it only takes one wrong turn and both of you could be deadâ but he seemingly believes in your abilities.
After you get into the driverâs seat and adjust it to your liking, making sure you can see in all of the mirrors, you pull out of the parking lot with ease, turning with Ericâs directions. You see him watching the map on his phone, making sure you know where to go in time to not turn this drive into an amateur redemption of The fast and the furious: Tokyo drift. You drive smoothly, getting to the destination in short time, stopping in front of the targeted house and watching as your friend gets out of the car with a few pizza boxes, jogging up to the front door.
The sight makes you remember how you met him a few months ago. It makes you chuckle, noticing how much has changedâ you didnât even want pizza that night, but today, youâre driving him in his car, watching as he makes the deliveries.Â
âNo strange notes asking for cute delivery boys?â you joke when he gets to the car and tells you to drive straight until he says to turn right, making him chuckle.
âNo, not really,â he shakes his head, âbut I think itâs funny how Sunwoo didnât get to go, yet it still landed him a girlfriend.â
âI mean, they were both pretty desperate,â you admit, chuckling. Your foolish brain canât help but wonderâ what if it could land both of them a girlfriend? What if you were bold enough to confess your feelings one day?Â
âTrue,â he nods, âthey go well together.â
âItâs still miserable to watch them interact sometimes, though,â you joke.
âIâm sorry, I tried my hardest to prevent it,â he muses.
Furrowing your brows, you look at him in confusion only for a second before you focus back on the road. âHuh?â
âI physically fought Sunwoo so I could go deliver those pizzas to your house back then,â he grins. âBack then, it was because I genuinely believed I was the cuter one, but I think that somehow, I kind of felt it, yâknow? Like, intuition. It was telling me âEric, donât let Sunwoo deliver those pizzas, because then your friend will get into a relationship and make every second with him miserable, because he canât shut up about his new girlfriendââ
You cut him off by laughing, shaking your head at his antics. Eric points towards a street, hinting that you should turn, having you follow his orders.Â
âI like your confidence,â you say, âbut to be fair, seeing you show up at my door was kind of crazy, after all these years.â
âYou make it sound as if you disagree with me,â he casually utters out.Â
Your hands sweat on the steering wheel. Maybe you should swerve off the road and drive into a tree so you can avoid this conversation.
âMaybe I do,â you shrug, thankful that driving makes it easier for you to avert your gaze from him and not make it seem like youâre forcefully avoiding him.
âSo weâre just gonna ignore the fact that you called me the hottestââ
âIf you donât shut up, Iâm crashing the carââ you threaten, your voice coming out a bit more miserable-sounding than you intended it to, showing just how not casual the whole situation was for you.
âLook, you donât have to be shy about it, we both knowââ
âOkay, passenger princess,â you shut him off, watching as the boy next to you has a visceral reaction to your comment.
âI literally offered to drive!â
âWhatever you say,â you muse as you make the car stop at the next destination and let Eric out to complete another delivery.
After the boy jumps inside of the car again, he ignores the previous topic of the conversation. That fact makes you happy, since you donât really know if youâre ready to face the problem at handâ the problem being the very obvious and strong, magnetizing feelings you have for the boyâ so you only continue to drive, listening to the radio he puts on and his occasional humming that he slides in through the directions he gives you.
He continues to deliver all the pizzas they baked when he announces that youâre approaching the last destination. You canât say youâre happy about the factâ since you started to quite enjoy the comfort of the drive, but you guess you canât really prolong the moment any more and force it to last forever, no matter how much youâd like it to.
Eric walks out of the car with the last three boxes in his hands, knocking on the door. The commotion lasts longer than usual, making you suspicious of the interaction he has with the man at the door, before you see the boy shrugging and walking back to the car, one pizza box still in his hands. To say youâre confused would be an understatement.
âWhat happened? Did we mess up somehow?â you ask, motioning towards the pizza box in his hands.
âI donât think it was us who messed up,â Eric snickers, âapparently, they only ordered two pizzas, so I think Sunwoo accidentally made three.â
âOh,â you hum, nodding in acknowledgement.
âBut thatâs fine, because that means we can have this one for free,â the boy grins at you as he puts on his seatbelt. âLetâs move a few blocks so we donât just stay in front of this dudeâs house, though.â
You furrow your brows at him, but still start the engine nonetheless. âShouldnât we head back? I bet we should hurry, from how packed it was, they surely need our helpââ
There is a lack of worry in Ericâs face as he shakes his head in disapproval. It seems that neither of you really want to go back to Sohnâs Pizza and workâ because itâs not as fun as driving around together, singing along to the radioâ but the lack of empathy towards his sister and his friends surprises you. âIâm sure they will survive a few more minutes. Come on, Y/N, the bowling didnât work out, so let me make it up for you at least this way.â
His pleading voice does enough to persuade you as you drive down the street and then a few more blocks to the left, trying to find a calm place where you could park the car and wonât bother anyone as you eat the remaining pizza, while also trying to forget about Lisa, Izzy and Sunwoo alone in the pizzeria working their asses off. You feel a bit guilty with the idea in your brain, but you try to push it back with the image of spending more time alone with Ericâ and suddenly, the previous is almost too easy to ignore.
Little did you know that this was Lisaâs plan all along. While you may be a bad wingman, Ericâs sister surely isnât.
Stopping in front of one of the houses that seems to be empty, turning the engine off and undoing your seatbelt, you spin around to face Eric as he opens the pizza box and gasps at the sight of the cheesy dough. âIâm pretty sure this was fate, man,â he shakes his head in disbelief. âThereâs no way we are left with your favorite. Extra cheesy too, damn...â
âThis is unbelievable,â you agree, playfully clasping your hands together in prayer. âThank you universe for the sign. You were right, we were supposed to stay out longer.â
âIâm always right,â he nods, watching as you eagerly take a triangle off the greasy cardboard and bite down into it, your taste buds cheering in joy as you chew on the treat.
Eric is quick to follow as he takes one for himself as well, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence as you eat. You didnât even realize you were hungry beforeâ your intentions being to eat at the bowling alleyâ and so you welcome this idea even more now that your stomach is less upset. Crossing your legs on the seat, not really caring about getting the car dirtyâ which in retrospect, you shouldâveâ you hum before you speak up again, already on your second piece.
âIf you were a pizza, youâd be this exact pizza right here,â you hum. You donât really know where that idea came from, but you think youâre speaking the truthâ in your mind, it makes total sense.
Eric stares at you like a confused puppy, a slight grin appearing on his face showing you that heâs trying to see where that came from. âWhy?â he asks. âBecause you love me?â
Here it is againâ the heat appearing on your cheeks from the panic, embarrassment filling your veins. You feel like you were caught in the act, like he sees right through youâ with how heâs been acting the whole evening, you think he might have some sort of intuition. Still, you wonât admit to your feelings out loudâ because thereâs no way theyâre reciprocated, and you wonât cause such a heartbreak to yourself willingly.Â
Eric is just social like that. He is sweet, playful. There is no undertone to his actionsâ itâs just who he is as a person, and there is no way he likes you back.
âNo,â you cough out, almost choking on the pizza. âYouâd be a margherita, because itâs a safe choice. Everyone likes a margherita! Itâs fun, and itâsââ
âTasty?â he interrupts you, a shit-eating grin already plastered onto his lips. âI taste good too, wanna check?â
You think he might be teasing you just for the fun of it now. He loves to feed on your misery, because he sees right through you, he knows youâre absolutely, incredibly enchanted by him, and it strokes his ego to rile you up and make you flustered. Youâre sure of it now. âOh, shut it!â
Eric laughs out loud before he swallows another bite, shrugging. âIf you were a pizza, youâd be hawaiian.â
âHm? Why?â you ask, busying yourself with chewing on the cheesy dough in your hold.Â
âBecause you are both salty and sweet,â he starts, âand I didnât expect to be so into it.â
His words make you stop in your tracks. He didnât expect to be so into it. Does he mean heâs into you, or are you just reading too much into his words? Trying not to seem too affected by his wordsâ trying to play it casual, nonchalantâ you clear your throat and avert your gaze from him, continuing to chew. The pizza in your mouth loses all its flavor the longer you focus on it, turning into a mass of nothing to your taste buds. After the last bite, youâre left mortified with the realization that you have nothing to focus your attention to now, if you donât want to face your friend again and take another slice in between your fingers from the pizza box resting in his lap, and so you just continue to stare ahead, beaten up by the awkward silence.
Play it cool, Y/N. Be normal. He must think youâre weird now, because you wondered even for a second if his joke was serious, and now he wonât want to hang out with you ever againâ
âSo, uhm, just checking,â Eric awkwardly laughs, something about his tone sounding nervous in your ears. âAre you really still that oblivious, or are you just pretending you didnât catch that to not hurt my feelings because you donât like me backâŠ?â he asks.
Your heart does a somersault. Hell, you think you just went into cardiac arrestâ your ears are ringing, your stomach is floating on water and your breathing quickens with his words. Having a full visceral reaction does nothing to help you speak back to him, but your body reacts on itself as you snap your head to the side and finally look at him, gazing into his big, honest eyes.
He looks at you in a similar way he did back at that partyâ expecting, hopeful. You didnât catch it back thenâ the eager, desperate look in his orbs, wishing, praying you chose him in a room full of people, picked him in a row of anyone who would like to have you. It leaves you weak, it leaves you feeling like you were just punched in your face with the realization that youâve been foolish to ever think that this was just how Eric acts and there was nothing more to his acts of care and affection.
âI- uh⊠I just didnât expect you to like me backâŠ?â you say, making it sound like a question, still uncertain about the whole situation. âI thought you were justâŠâ you trail off, pupils shaking as you watch the boyâs face morph out of nervousness into a bright, amused smile.
âLook, Iâmâ I justââ you stutter, not really knowing what else to say, how else to express yourself.Â
Eric was always much quicker than you, much more clever in social situations. He takes your lack of words as a hint as he holds onto your honest, surprised state and takes it upon himself to solidify the reality for you, to show you what the two of youâve been missing for the last couple of months. Reaching over the gearstick, he gently glazes your cheek with his palm before he sends a one last look to your eyes, watching out for any sign of discomfort.Â
His lips lock with yours. Youâre convinced the world stopped turning.
Eric Sohn is sweet like cherry cola. He is a taste of familiarness with something more to it, something new and fresh, sugary and addictive. He is gentle, with an exciting aftertaste, leaving you breathless and wanting more. He is like a hint of home, a memory of your childhood, all safe and loving and tender.Â
The kiss is short. It has you leaning towards him, a handful of his hoodie filling up your fist as you desperately, foolishly drag him to you and press your lips to his again, as if to check if the last kiss was real and you didnât just make it up in your mind by wishful thinking.
You guess you finally reached the bottom after the long, slow fall. You donât even feel the landing as his arms hold you up and spin you around instead, showing you that falling in love doesnât have to be all that scaryâ if the one you want is caring, if the one you want is nothing short of an angel in your eyes.
After you pull away from him, he rests his forehead against yours and enjoys the proximity which he doesnât have to hide the need for anymoreâ now that heâs all yours to keep and youâre all his to hold.
âYou really thought I didnât like you back? Hell, Y/N, youâre all I ever think about,â he scoffs, showing you the ridiculousness of your own beliefs, his ever-so playful tone only further solidifying the sweet aftertaste of his confession. âI like, have butterflies in my stomach and all,â he confides, grinning at you.Â
Rolling your eyes, finally easing into the new territory, you tease him for his words. âThat was extra cheesy.â
âI thought you liked that?â
Gazing into his eyes, feeling your own heartbeat hammering against your chest, you canât help but chuckle at the subtle irony of it all.Â
âMaybe I do.â
#deoboyznet#bjnet#the boyz#eric sohn#the boyz x reader#tbz x reader#tbz fluff#eric sohn fluff#eric fluff#eric x reader#eric sohn x reader#tbz scenario#tbz fic#the boyz scenario#the boyz fluff#the boyz imagines#sohn youngjae#youngjae x reader
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BSD Men - Threes*me With Their Rival
Pairings: Dazai & Fyodor, Atsushi & Akutagawa, Ranpo & Poe, Dazai & Chuuya
âWARNINGSâ: Threesome, Smut, MDNI, biting, slapping, squirting, hickeys, breeding kink, blowjob, anal, overstimulation, whimpering, praise, etc
đ€DAZAIđ€ & đFYODORđ
You don't know what how it happened, but you found yourself on a bed with Dazai and Fyodor on top of you, kissing every inch of your skin. They seem the type to not like sharing, but somehow they made an exception. They both used their fingers and tongues to get you ready for the main course.
When they thought it was time. Fyodor picked you up. Your legs were wrapped around his body as he plunged his cock deep inside you all in one thrust. You digged your nails into his skin as you whimpered. You and him both shuddered from the sudden sensation of pleasure and slight pain.
"Relax a little, moya lyubov. Ngh~ You're too tight it almost hurts" Fyodor said in a breathy, kind voice
"That's because you didn't ease her into it" Dazai said
You felt Dazai's chest against your back and the head of his dick by your butt. His hands helping Fyodor to hold you up "You have to do it slow and sensual.. like this"
Dazai slowly pushed himself inside you. He knew you didn't have much experience with anal sex, so he didn't want to hurt you. Dazai kissed your lips, muffling your moan, to distract you from the pain and whispered comforting words in your ear to make it easier for you.
He was now fully inside you "Do you feel every inch of me, bella~?" He asked teasingly while kissing your cheek, since you were blushing. He looks at Fyodor "Sometimes fast isn't better"
"Of course, but we both know she wants us to ruin her.. isn't that right, Myshka~?" Fyodor smirks at you
You looked away while nodding, trying to hide your embarrassment Fyodor chuckles quietly "See?"
Dazai smiles "Well let's not waste time then"As if they both read each others minds, they started to thrust into you at the same time, making you moan loudly.
You felt full, but it felt amazing. They were hitting parts of you that you didn't even know existed and only offered you pleasure. "Wow, bella~ mnn~ you really are perfect hah~ You feel undescribable~" Dazai said moaning in your ear
"Ngh~ if I relax even a little, I won't be able to compose myself if you squeeze me this tightly, Myshka~" Fyodor put his forehead against yours
Dazai's right hand caressed your breast and played with your bud, making you arch your back against him while gasping "Your skin is as soft as rose pedals, bella~"His hand decided to go towards your clit and rub circles around it. You moaned louder "mmnn~ so wet~" Dazai whispered in your ear
Fyodor kissed your cheek "Your voice is so intoxicating~"
"Heh~ why thank you" Dazai jokingly responded to Fyodor
Fyodor gave him a slightly disgusted look "I wasn't talking to you" Fyodor's focus was back to you. He kissed your neck and left some hickeys on your collarbone "Your so glamorous with your legs spread like this~"You laid your head on Dazai's chest.
It was becoming too much for you "Can't take too much of this~"
Dazai tilted his head slightly at you "Hm? Mmn~ Bella, the only reason why your in this situation is because you were too much for us. we're just returning the favor~"
"Ngh~ Don't act like you don't like it, lyubov~ as a matter of fact your close aren't you?" Fyodor said while looking down to see his cock go in and out of you
"Ah~ Do you really want us to stop, love?" Dazai looked at you with curiosity
"No, don't stop~! It feels so good~" Fyodor and Dazai chuckle at your cuteness. Dazai looks at Fyodor with a sly smile "agh~ well we should give what my princess wants, right?~"
"Hah~ She's not yours, but I suppose we should" They both suddenly go at a faster pase, somehow going deeper inside you and even getting bigger. Dazai bit your neck kindly, leaving a mark as Fyodor kissed your lips, muffling your loud moans and exploring your mouth with his tongue.
You felt both of them hit your g-spot at the same time which made gasp. You moaned louder "AH~! Fyodor~ Dazai~ too good~ I'm cumming~!" You felt both of them throb aggressively after you moaned their names
"oh, bella~ how am I supposed to control myself when you moan my name like that~? Ah~! I'm cumming too~"
"Don't hold back, lyubov~ show me how much I satisfy you mmn~ I'm at my limit~"
With one final deep thrust you all came together moaning and grunting loudly and trembling. You felt your body become more full from their cum filling you up. The feeling of their hot cum leaking out of you made you go over the edge. You then squirted on Fyodor while moaning and arching your back, Your right hand clenched on Dazai's hair from the intensity. Dazai and Fyodor looked at you shocked, but then slowly start to smile.
Fyodor kissed your lips "so beautiful~" he whispered. Dazai grabs your chin to make you look at him, then kisses your lips "I think you made me more addicted to you, y/n~"
They pulled themselves out of you. Their cocks covered in their own cum and your fluids. You felt so empty you wanted them back inside you. "So, Bella, who was better?"
You tired eyes widen slightly as you look at Dazai "huh?"
"Who was better, myshka? Me or him?" Fyodor looks at you with curiosity
"I-... I don't know. You were both incredible...I'd say it's a tie" you smile sheepishly. You were telling the truth though.
They both look at eachother "that won't do" Dazai sighs
"I think we need another round to settle this, correct?" Fyodor asked Dazai, making your heart skip a beat
Dazai smirks "Indeed we do!" Dazai looks at you "what do you say, bella? Do you want us to ruin you even more~?"
Fyodor looks at you too "tell us what you want, myshka~"
You blushed, but you bluntly said "I... Wouldn't mind one bit"
đRANPOđ & â€ïžPOEâ€ïž
You were on the bed, naked, on all fours. Ranpo was fucking you from behind while Poe was fucking your mouth. Droll was leaking from your mouth as you sucked the life out of Poe. Ranpo would squeeze and caress your ass and sometimes slap it, making you moan which only sent vibrations to Poe's cock. You all moaned and whimpered from the pleasure
When Poe felt your tongue wrapped around him for the first time, he almost came on the spot. He's been dreaming about this moment for so long and he can finally be able to cum inside your mouth. Ranpo has been waiting to be with you for a long time too. So he's naturally excited to be able to make you cum and to fill you up.
"You get tighter everytime I slap you- ah~! Your so lewd~" Ranpo moaned
"Your mouth feels amazing, dear~ it's the best- Mnn~!" Poe put a hand on the side of your head
Since you three have been going at it for awhile now, Ranpo felt his release "Yeah~ I'm cumming~ tighter, sugar~!"
Poe also felt his release "Can't hold on- MNN~!" Their thrusts became faster until they both came at the same time.
Feeling Their cum fill you up and hearing their loud whimpers made you cum right after them. You were all trembling from your orgasms and eventually, Ranpo and Poe pulled themselves out of you while panting.
Ranpo then collects his thought and asks "What do you say we switch?"
You and Poe look at him confused "It's obvious that Poe wants to be inside you and I want to feel your tongue wrapped around me~" Ranpo bluntly said
You and Poe blush. Poe was stuttering over his words which made Ranpo laugh "don't deny it Poe and I know you want that too, sugar. So turn around~"
He was right about you. You might've been sensitive and tired, but you still wanted more. You then turned your body, now facing Ranpo and Poe's hands caressed your ass. They were both already hard again and ready for another round. You kissed Ranpo's cock before you entered his cock into your mouth and Poe thrusted his cock inside you gently. You all moaned together and began going at a steady pace.
"Mmn~! Your drooling all over me already~?" Ranpo asked with a smirk
You felt Poe's cock twitching. He's been waiting to be inside you for so long and he's finally doing it "So tight~ I'm sensitive from before- ah~! I won't last much longer, darling~" Poe begins to thrust faster, becoming desperate to feel more of your walls
Ranpo followed Poe's pace and whimpered loudly "Same here~ your sucking the life out of me, sugar ngh~! Im so close~"
Your moans were muffled by a mouthful of Ranpo. You could feel your release coming soon too the more Poe skillfully thrusted into your cunt "MMN~! A-Amazing~" Poe moaned
"Hm? Does someone like sucking on my cock~? Ah~! How can someone's mouth feels this good? Mmn~!"
His praise made you more tight around Poe. Poe gasps "Your- mmn~! soaking me with your cum. God, it feels like heaven~"
You all suddenly felt electricity of pleasure. Your bodies getting ready to cum aggressively. Ranpo and Poe thrusts become quick "mmnph~! c-cumming~! Ah~! I'm gonna cum~!" Ranpo screamed with his mouth agape and drooling
"AH~! C-can take it anymore- mmn~! Cumming~! Ngh~!" Poe whimpered
You all came together again, but your orgasms being more intense than the first. Your moans were louder than before too. You felt their cocks throb more as they shot their load inside you. You swallowed Ranpo's cum and you felt cum leak out of you. You bodies trembled and almost gave out, but As soon as you caught your breaths it's was almost like you gained consciousness again.
When they finally pulled themselves out, you collapsed on the bed. They followed your action and collapsed next to your body. "Well I knew that was going to feel amazing, but I didn't think it'd feel THAT good" Ranpo chuckles
"Did you enjoy yourself, dear?" Poe looks at you"It felt amazing"
you tiredly smiled "that took a lot out of me.. but not like I'm complaining" you mumbled the last part but it was loud enough for them to hear. Poe blushed from your words as Ranpo smiles widely "I think you should start getting used to it, sugar~ we all enjoyed it better than we thought we would. right, Poe?"
Poe blushes "i- I mean! I wouldn't say I'm against the idea"
"Well, sugar?" Ranpo tilts his head waiting for your answer
You blush "it feels too good to resist, so of course I wouldn't mind"
đATSUSHIđ & â€ïžAKUTAGAWAâ€ïž
If someone told you that Akutagawa and Atsushi would fuck you at the same time you would think they were crazy, but some how here you guys are. Atsushi was behind you and Akutagawa was in front of you. They were both carrying you as they fucked you and filled you with their cocks
Akutagawa wasn't as vocal as Atsushi, but his grip on your legs was tighter than his. They both throbbed inside you and hit you in all then right places
"Don't pay any attention to him- mph-! Look at me" Akutagawa says to you
"Mmn~ well don't forget I'm here too" Atsushi moans
You responded "Im focused on both of you- mmn~ please don't fight~"
Akutagawa scoffs quietly. He then begins to kindly kiss your neck "so good~" you heard him say in the most quiet whisper
Atsushi begins to kiss your ears "your so beautiful, y/n~ mph~! Just when I thought I couldn't be more addicted to you~"
Akutagawa decides to caress your breasts with one of his hands, making you moan and arch your back against Atsushi. When he felt how soft and plush they were, he couldn't get his hand away. Seeing his hand on your chest made him feel like you were really his and let out some small, quiet whimpers
Atsushi slid his hand down to your clit and rubs it in circles gently. You clenched around their cocks tighter as you moaned louder "mmn~! Atsushi~ Akutagawa~ ah~ this feels amazing~ please don't stop~"
They groaned from your sudden tightness and you moaning their names. Your praise and plea also made them throb aggressively. They naturally thrusted faster and deeper
"Your becoming too much for me y/n~ ah~! You feel amazing~!" Atsushi whimpered
"Your too tight, you idiot- ngh~! How do you expect me to last if you do that? Mn~" Akutagawa grunts
You decided to kiss Akutagawa, startling him, but he kissed back. He groaned louder into the kiss since it was muffled. You pulled away from the kiss to kiss Atsushi next. His kisses were tender yet full of lust and passion. You pulled away from the kiss as you felt both if them hit your g-spot over and over.
You were close and moaned "I'm c-cumming~! F-faster~ Atsushi~ Akutagawa~"
As soon as you said that, their pace became rough and quick. Slapping and moaning was all that could be heard and only overwhelming pleasure could be felt. The more their cocks rubbed against your wet, tight walls they were also at their limits.
"Too good~! I-im cumming too~ ah~!" Atsushi whimpered
"Ngh~! I can't hold on anymore~" Akutagawa groaned
With two deep thrusts, they came inside you, making you cum with them as you felt them fill you up. You all moaned together loudly from your climaxes, quivering together as well. You were all panting as you were calming down from your high's. When they pulled out, you felt their cum drip out of you which honestly turned you on. Seeing their cum drip out of you made them blush, but they were enjoying the sight.
They laid you down on the bed with a towel underneath you. Atsushi kisses your forehead and tiredly says "I'll prepare you a bath, love"
While Atsushi was going towards the bathroom, Akutagawa used his ability to push him on the bed again "Stay put. I'll do it" he said while going towards the bathroom
Atsushi looks at him confused, but looks at you again "Uhh then I'll go get you some food and water-"
Akutagawa used his ability again to keep him still "I said stay put-"
Atsushi gave him a 'can you stop?' face "This isn't about you, man. It's about her-"
Before things could end up with them literally killing each other, you said "A bath, food, and water sound amazing"
Akutagawa released his ability to let Atsushi go. Atsushi then gets up to go to the kitchen, but Akutagawa whispered something in his ear "Don't be fooled into thinking just because tonight we shared her doesn't mean I like you now. Don't forget I will kill you, weretiger. Can't have her ending up with someone by the likes of you"
Atsushi sighed "Just remember our deal. I wouldn't be too fond of her ending up with you either"
đ€DAZAIđ€ & đ§ĄCHUUYAđ§Ą
You don't know how, but you found yourself naked, on your bed, with Dazai and Chuuya caressing and kissing your body with no clothes on. You were all laying on your sides. Dazai being in front of you and Chuuya behind you. Dazai wraps one of your legs around his hips as Chuuya holds onto your waist
Their cocks skillfully thrusted into you and filled you completely. They hit every inch of you which fueled you with pleasure and their moans turned you on. Chuuya cups your face and connects your lips together with a soft kiss "Your gorgeous you know?" His eyes glowed with sincerity
Dazai then cups your face to force you to look at him and kisses you "Eyes on me, Bella~ Chuuya doesn't matter as much" he smirks into the kiss
Chuuya suddenly bites your neck making you pull away from Dazai's lips and gasp "mn~ Bastard, you really think she doesn't want some of me too?" Chuuya says while kissing the bite mark
"Not as much as me~" Dazai kisses your cheek
Chuuya scoffs "Whatever helps you sleep at night"
"The only reason why we're on our side is because Chuuya is too short to carry you. Hah~ Isn't that embarrassing?" Dazai whispered while kissing your neck, making hickeys
"Shut the hell up you fucking bastard! Ngh~! And seeing how tight she's squeezing my cock says she's enjoying herself. Isn't that right, doll~?"
"Mmn~! Yeah, you both feel amazing~"
Dazai and Chuuya slightly smirk with joy and suddenly thrust faster. Your moaning becoming louder. One of your hands grabs onto the back of Chuuya head, pulling onto his hair, and your other hand held behind Dazai's neck. Trying to keep both of them as close as possible
"F-fuck~! Doll, if you keep squeezing me like this ah~ I won't be able to hold on much longer~"
"I hate to say this, but I agree with you ngh~! You just want our cum that much, bella? What a little slut you are~" Dazai teases
You arch your back which only make them go deeper inside you "Too deep~ ah~! it feels too good~!"
"Don't you like it deep though? Mmn~! You ruined your own sheets because of how dripping wet you are~" Dazai says while Chuuya caresses your breasts
"Agh~ it makes it so easy for us to push our cocks deep inside you~" Chuuya says while Dazai presses his hand on your stomach and feels how deep he is inside you
"Mph~! And your throbbing tells us you want to cum~" Dazai moans
"Your about to cum, aren't you darling~?" Chuuya nibbles your ear
"Ngh~! Y-yes, I'm so close~! Please don't stop~ faster Chuuya~, Dazai~" You felt them both throb aggressively
"Ahh~! Say my name again, Bella mmn~ it sounds beautiful when you moan it~"
"Yeah, doll~ ngh~! Scream my name~ hah~ it turns me on so much~!"
You started to moan their names loudly which made their thrusts more animalistic. All of you moaning loudly and gripping onto each other, most likely leaving bruises.
"S-shit! Gonna cum~!" Chuuya moans
"Just like that, Bella~ f-fuck, I'm cumming~!"
You all then cum together, whimpering, grunting and moaning loudly as your climaxes take over your whole body. Their hot, sticky cum was deep and filled you to the brim, some of it flowing out of you and onto the sheets. You three were catching your breaths. Chuuya's forehead was on your shoulder as he hugs you from behind and Dazai presses his forehead against yours, also hugging you.
"That was better than I thought it would be" you said in a breathy whisper and tired eyes
"It would've been better if it was just us" Chuuya says tiredly
"I don't think you would do as good of a job like me" Dazai looks at Chuuya with a tired, sly smile
"Keep fucking lying to yourself" Chuuya harshly responds
"Guys, shut up" you sighed
"He started it!" They both said at the same time while looking at you
You scoffed "If you guys are so amazing...then where is my after care?"
You looked at both of them They look at eachother for a long second. Dazai then smiles widely and wraps his arms around you and snuggles into your cheek "I'll keep my belladonna company while you go get some towels and water for us!"
"Uh-! You Bastard! Your just too lazy to get up aren't you?!"
"Cuddling is a very important factor in aftercare. who wouldn't want the one you care for to snuggle with you after a passionate night?" He gives you a big kiss on your cheek
Chuuya grumbled before giving you a peck on the lips and getting out of bed to go towards the bathroom to get a bath ready for (only) you "Your just making excuses! Don't expect me to give YOU, an ass for brains, aftercare too!"
#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd chuuya#bsd ranpo#bsd atsushi#bsd x reader#bsd fyodor#bsd dazai#Dazai smut#Chuuya smut#Fyodor smut#Atsushi smut#Ranpo smut#bsd smut#bsd poe#Akutagawa smut#bsd akutagawa#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd headcanons#bsd x y/n#ranpo x reader#dazai x reader#fyodor x reader#poe x reader#atsushi x reader#chuuya x reader#akutagawa x reader#fyodor bsd#bungo stray dogs dazai
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James Wilson dating someone who gets cuteness aggression
Warnings: cuteness aggression (duh) so there's mention of playful biting and such from the reader
A/N: this idea popped into my head randomly and I thought it'd be a big hit with my fellow Wilson lovers because honestly who doesn't get cuteness aggression when looking at him
I don't think Wilson would know what cuteness aggression is but I'm pretty sure he's used to people displaying their affection in less than conventional ways given that House is his best friend
He wouldn't have a problem with it, per say, but he'd certainly be confused to first time you do it
Picture it: he's sitting in his office as he fills out paperwork while you're waiting for him to finish. You're so bored and want his attention so badly that when he stops writing for even a second you take that as an opportunity to bite his hand
You don't bite hard enough to draw blood or anything, just hard enough to get his attention
He stops what he was doing and looks over at you with a befuddled expression on his face, his big brown puppy dog eyes full of confusion
"Did you just- did you just bite me?" It's clear from the disbelief in his voice that he doesn't know what to think. He'd never been bitten before, certainly not in such a casual manner
"Yeah, so?" You gave him a slight shrug as if it were no big deal. "Sometimes I bite people I like. Is that a problem?"
Being the little people pleaser he is, he of course says no. "Uh, not at all. I just- I wasn't expecting that"
He goes back to work, thinking that'll be the end of it. It's not, as you decide to take his indifference as an invitation to bite him whenever you get the chance to
It doesn't take that long for him to get used to your strange habits of biting him when he's not paying attention to you or squeezing him a little too hard when giving him hugs
If House finds out about your cuteness aggression (which, let's be honest, of course he does because he has no respect for other people's privacy) he uses that information as a way to get on Wilson's nerves all the time
"Nice bite marks on your hand. Did you get a dog recently, or is it just another act of affection from your doting partner?"
"Shut up, House"
"What? I'm not the one willingly giving myself up to be somebody else's chew toy"
In all honesty, Wilson actually doesn't mind your cuteness aggression, even if he knows he probably should
He always lets you playfully bite his hand or give him really tight hugs when you ask with no complaint, finding the acts to be oddly endearing for some reason
Even when you coddle and baby talk him the same way someone might speak to a pet the most he might do is roll his eyes or let out a loud exasperated sigh
"You're so cute, Jimmy, did you know that? It makes me want to wrap you up and never let you go"
"Well, it's nice to know you care about me, even if you are talking to me like I'm a dog"
"Hey, it's not my fault you have the biggest, most adorable set of puppy dog eyes around that make you look like such a little cutie patootie"
"You're as bad as House, did you know that?"
"I take that as a compliment"
"Of course you do"
All in all, Wilson loves you and knows that you love him, even if you show it in an odd way
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Much Ado About Nothing (Act III, Scene V: The Temporary Bliss)
Your fleeting moment of happiness is quickly overshadowed as old wounds from the past resurface.
Part warning: (18+) fingering, protected sex (because helping him roll down a condom is hot), and, unfortunately, angst Words: 4.8k A/n: so this is the last part of Act III: The Deception, you might want to prepare yourself as we get closer to the truth
SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST
You were a coward. A fool. A mess. You didnât know what to label yourself anymore, or if there were even words to describe the way you felt. But you did know one thingâyou didn't have the strength to confront Spencer, you couldn't even see his face without feeling sick. So you did what you did best.
You avoided him. Plain and simple.
It was actually easier than you had expected. After that dreadful weekend, there seemed to be enough cases to distract you. You traveled across the state, one week in a new place, and another in a different city. By the end of the month, you hardly thought about him at all. Your friends seemed to be unaware of the underlying tension between you, and even if they did notice, they surprisingly kept their thoughts to themselvesâeveryone except Derek who teasingly pointed out that you seemed more focused on your work than usual.
You had shrugged off his comment with a forced laugh, brushing it off as if it was just a harmless observation. You told yourself that you were fine, that you had everything under control. But despite your efforts to stay distracted, the reality was different. The moment the plane landed back in Quantico, you knew you would have to face him again, especially when Emily suggested to hit the bar.
Her reason was to blow off steam after a gruesome few weeks, which was followed by a chorus of agreements from the team. Now you were left with no more excuses. Your eyes drifted toward him, his gaze slowly met yours, and that was how you found yourself in the same dingy, low-lit bar the team always gravitated to an hour later.
The familiar murmur of conversation and clinking of glasses greeted you as you entered the place. While the others settled to their usual spot in the corner, you quickly made a bee-line towards the bar. The bartender, a tall man with a slightly overgrown beard and sharp blue eyes, looked up as you approached.
He was cute, in a rugged, rough-around-the-edges kind of way. You would normally find yourself attracted to these types of menâconfident, approachable, and with a certain easygoing charm. But apparently, your heart had other ideas, preferring a certain someone with a genius-level IQ with warm brown eyes.
âHey, you're back," he greeted you, nodding his head. "Havenât seen you in a while."
You leaned over the bar. "It's been a busy month."
"Where did you go off to this time?"
"Chicago."
He whistled softly. "Chicago, huh? Must have been a big one to send you all the way there." He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. âWhat did the bad guy do this time?â
You gave a small, secretive smile. "You know I can't talk about that. That's classified information."
The corner of his lips turned into a wide grin. âCanât blame a guy for trying.â He picked up a glass and began wiping it down. âSo, whatâll it be tonight? Your usual Margarita?â
You hesitated, shaking your head.
"Sex on the beach?"
Normally, you'd ask for eitherâyou preferred something light and tangy, a drink that was strong enough to take the edge off without overwhelming you. But tonight was different. Tonight, you needed something with more kick.
âGive me a shot of tequilaâno, make it two.â
A frown briefly crossed his face. âAre you sure?â
No.
âYes,â you insisted. âI need something stronger tonight.â
The man studied your face for a moment before he nodded, pouring two generous shots in front of you. He turned to grab lime wedges from the small fridge under the counter but stopped abruptly when he noticed youâd already downed one of the shots.
"Wow, you weren't kidding.â
The strong liquor burned your throat. âThat is disgusting.â
âThatâs why you need this to chase it,â he said, sliding the lime wedge and a pinch of salt towards you. âHere.â
You purposely ignored him and brought the second glass to your lips, feeling the burn even before you swallowed.
âHere, take it.â
âNo, Iâm fine.â You pushed the now empty glass toward him, making a face. âPour me another one.â
âI donât think thatâs a good idea.â
âOh, come on! Iâm here with the gang!â You gestured toward the corner where the team was sitting. âYou donât have to worry about me.â
He hesitated, glancing over your shoulder and then back at you. âFine, but this is the last one,â he said, reluctantly pouring another shot.
You gave him a quick nod, grabbing the shot and lifting it to your lips, steeling yourself for the burn. Just as you were about to drink, you felt a firm hand on your wrist. Your body tensed, not because of the sudden interruption, but because you felt another hand resting at your back before it slowly slid across, settling just at the soft curve of your waist.
You didnât have to turn your head to know who it was. His smell was unmistakableâclean, with a hint of soap and the faintest trace of coffee.
âI think youâve had enough.â
You watched as Spencer took the glass from your grip, settling it on the counter. Your brows knit together in confusion. âWhat are you doing?â
But instead of answering you, his eyes were focused intently on the bartender. âYou shouldnât have given her another glass.â
The bartenderâs eyes widened slightly, and he held up his hands. âHey, she asked for it.â
You nodded along. âTo be fair, he did offer me Sex on the Beach.â
That didnât seem to help. Spencerâs grip tightened on your waist, and you could feel him pulling you slightly closer to him. âThatâs not funny. We need to get you some water.â
âReid, itâs just two shotsââ
He cut you off, turning back to the bartender. âCan she get a glass of water?â
The bartender nodded, quickly grabbing a glass and filling it with water. He handed it to Spencer, who then turned his attention back to you. âDrink this, please.â
âSeriously, Iâm fine,â you protested.
He placed the glass in your hand. âDrink it.â
âTwo shots,â you argued, finally facing him. âItâs not a big deal. Iâve drunk a lot worse than this.â
âI'm aware.â
âThen why does it bother you so much?â
He went quiet for a moment, his eyes drifting between you, the glass of water, then back to you.
âBecause I donât like being the reason youâre drinking something you hate in the first place.â
You quickly downed the cool water. How could you even answer that? Your skin suddenly felt hot, and your palms grew clammy as he kept his hand on your waist. You looked away, unable to meet his gaze.
âItâs not because of you,â you said, shrugging as you set the glass down.
"Isn't it, though? Why else would you be reacting this way?"
âMaybe I just like tequila now. Did you ever think of that?â
âYou hate tequila," he replied as if it was common knowledge.
âYeah, well, maybe Iâve developed a taste for it.â
âSo youâve suddenly decided you like something youâve been avoiding for years?â
âMaybe Iâm trying new things,â you shot back, your tone sharp. âMaybe you should try it too.â
There was a moment of silence as he considered your words. "I am trying new things."
You felt him tug you slightly, letting your body fall against his. Your heart sped up as you stared up at him. Even in the dim light of the bar, his brown eyes seemed to catch the faint glow, looking lighter and more intense than usual. You watched as his gaze drifted slowly to your lips.
"Reid..."
"Hmm?"
"What are you doing?"
His expression softened as he looked back at you, his hand still resting lightly on your waist. "I'm trying to play the perfect boyfriend."
"So this is all an act?"
This was it, the moment of truth, the point where everything could change. He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. âNo,â he said quietly, his thumb brushing against your hip.
Your hand fell to his chest, fingers pressing lightly to feel the rapid beat of his heart. It was pounding, just as fast as yours.
"Spencer..."
He let out a sighâa sound that seemed to carry both relief and a touch of disbelief as it left his lips. "I thought I'd never hear you call me that again."
He was right. Ever since you drifted apart, calling him Reid felt safer, like a barrier that kept things distant and professional. Spencer was too personal, too intimate for the walls you had built around yourself. But now, standing so close, it felt like the past and present were colliding, making everything more confusing.
Your finger played with the knot of his tie, absentmindedly tracing the pattern. "You're making this more complicated."
He nodded. "I know."
"We're supposed to break this off."
"I know."
"We're supposed to stick to the plan."
He opened his mouth, then closed it, struggling for a moment before replying, âIf that's what you want, then we'll go through it. But...â
You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "But what?"
"But I need to know if itâs really what you want." His voice faltered slightly. "If you want me to leave, I will."
His question hung in the air like a thick fog, making it hard for you to think clearly. It was a simple choice, wasn't it? Stick to the plan, keep up the fake dating, and finally break it off. No mess, no complications. But why, then, did the thought of him leaving feel like a heavy weight in your chest?
You caught him nervously trailing his bottom lip with his tongueâa habit of his when he was deep in thought. The simple gesture made you feel an unexpected pull, and before you knew it, you found yourself pressing closer to him.
âSpence,â you murmured. âYouâre making this really hard.â
âI donât want to make it hard,â he said quietly. âI-I just I need to know where we stand.â
You hesitated, your heart pounding in your chest. The words felt heavy on your tongue, but you knew you needed to say them.
"I want you to leave," you started, watching as his expression shifted, a hint of pain flickering in his eyes as he slowly pulled away. But before he could step back, you tugged on his tie, pulling him back towards you. "But I'm leaving with you."
His eyes widened slightly. "What do you mean?"
And suddenly, a wave of embarrassment washed over you, and you looked away. "What I'm trying to say is... thatâwell..."
"Well?"
Your gaze focused somewhere beyond his shoulder, finding it easier to speak without meeting his eyes. "I want to finish what we started that morning."
He blinked, processing your words. "You mean... when we..."
"Yeah."
You noticed his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Oh." He leaned in slightly, his hand moving to rest on the small of your back. "How drunk are you right now?"
You couldn't help but let a laugh escape your lips, finally looking back at him. "I had two shots!"
His expression softened, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You know what this means, right?"
"What?"
"If weâŠ" He trailed off, clearing his throat before continuing, "If we do this, it'll change everything."
You smoothed down his shirt, your fingers lingering on the fabric. "I know."
"And you still want that?"
"I do."
He took a deep breath, searching your eyes for any hesitation. "And you want to leave... right now?"
"Look, if you don't want toâ"
He quickly cut you off, shaking his head with a slight, nervous chuckle. âNo, I do. I just⊠I want to make sure you do too.â
"I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't mean it."
His eyes softened. âYouâre right,â he said, the corners of his mouth lifting in a hesitant smile that looked almost like a grimace. âOkay. Okay. Weâre doing this.â
Seeing him easily flustered was always amusing for you, and this time was no different. "Come on," you urged him, taking his hand in yours. "Let's get out of here."
"Wait, shouldn't we tell them we're leaving?"
You glanced back at your friends. "And tell them what? That we're going to have sex?"
He almost tripped over his own feet. "Well, when you put it that wayâŠ"
You squeezed his hand and flashed him a smile over your shoulder as you started toward the exit. With a quick, eager step, he followed behind.
Spencerâs apartment was just as you rememberedâdeep green walls, warm lighting, bookshelves lining every corner. But you barely had a moment to register your surroundings before he had his face buried in your neck.
His lips found the sensitive spot below your ear. Your fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt as his mouth trailed a wet path down your throat, and you had to push against his chest slightly because he was pressing you too hard against the door. For a man who spent most of his time buried in books, he seemed to have an unexpected strength that took you by surprise.
âHey, hey,â you murmured, a soft giggle escaping as you tilted your head to look at him. âSlow down.â
He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes before leaning down again, his hands coming up to cup your face as he kissed you.
His lips were hot against yours, moving with an eager, almost desperate need. He sucked gently on your lower lip, pulling it into his mouth before releasing it with a soft, audible pop. The sudden absence of his mouth left your skin tingling, only to be followed by the gentle graze of his teeth, a playful nip that made you gasp and clutch his shirt tighter.
You felt lightheaded, melting under his touch as his tongue teased the seam of your lips, coaxing them open as his tongue teased the seam of your lips, coaxing them open. You let him in willingly, your tongue meeting his eagerly. The sensation left you feeling hot and dizzy, your entire body craving for more of his taste. It was as if his kiss was an intoxicating drug, leaving you utterly addicted. Even when he pulled away slightly to catch his breath, you grabbed him again, pressing your lips firmly against his.
Spencer sighed with pleasure as he held the back of your head, his fingers splaying against your scalp. You weren't sure how long you stayed like that, lost in the way his lips moved against yours, but the instant you felt his growing bulge brush your hip, you gently pushed him away.
A thin, glistening string of saliva followed you, and you reached up to wipe it from his mouth with a quick, almost embarrassed swipe. His breath came in ragged gasps as he looked down at you, his eyes wide in surprise.
"Sorry, I-I got carried away," he mumbled, letting his hand trail down your spine. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."
You looked up at him, your eyes searching his. "You thought I pushed you away because I want us to stop?"
"Uh... maybe? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"No, Spencer," you said softly, reaching up to loosen the knot of his tie. "I pushed you away because I need you to take me to your bed."
He watched intently as you pulled off his tie, and when you pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders, his hands fell to his sides.
"Are you going to watch me undress you, or are you going to help?"
A slow smile spread across his face as he shrugged off the jacket completely, his hands moving to the buttons of his shirt. "I think I can manage that."
He started to unbutton his shirt, his fingers brushing against yours. The moment the last button was undone, he let the shirt fall to the floor with a soft rustle. Your palm glided over his chest as you took in his bare skin. You expected his body to be leanâhe had long limbs, after allâbut you didn't expect the subtle, defined muscles beneath your touch.
"Spencer, have you been working out?"
You could tell he was embarrassed by the way he shifted his gaze from you. "Morgan convinced me to stay in shape," he admitted with a shy smile. "He insists it's part of the job."
You plant a kiss right above his heart. "Well, it's definitely working."
The warmth of your lips seemed to ease his embarrassment, and he let out a soft sigh, his hands coming up to caress your back. You glanced up at him again. "Will you take me to your bed now?"
He quickly nodded and guided you towards his bedroom. Once inside, you pushed him down onto the edge of his bed. His hands roamed across your body as you slipped between his legs, slowly unbuttoning your blouse. The front of the fabric fell away and his gaze followed every movement, his hands eagerly helping you slide it off your shoulders.
Your bra came off next, the straps sliding down your arms as you tossed it aside. His eyes swept over you with admiration as he licked his lips, his gaze lingering on the exposed curve of your body. He pulled you closer, his hands gripping your waist as he pressed a series of hot, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone and down to the swell of your breasts.
When he wrapped his lips around your nipple, a sharp, electrifying pleasure shot through you. His tongue flicked and teased, alternating between gentle suckles and soft nibbles that made you gasp and arch into his touch. You tangled your fingers in his hair, holding him to you as he continued his ministrations, moving from one breast to the other.
The hand on your back slid lower, his fingers finding the waistband of your pants. You felt him unbutton them, the fabric loosening around your hips. With a firm but gentle tug, he slipped your pants down your legs, followed closely by your panties, until both garments pooled around your feet.
His hand began running up your leg, fingers slipping between your thighs. He let go of your nipple and looked up at you with those brown eyes that seemed to gleam under the light. âCan I touch you?â
You brushed his hair back gently from his forehead. âYouâve touched me before.â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
You felt his fingertips brush so lightly over your clit and you nodded. âYes,â you breathed out, âYou can touch me.â
All you could do was sigh as his fingers moved again. He was so gentle, so careful, sliding his fingers up and down your folds, spreading your arousal with each teasing stroke. His eyes never left your face, watching every flicker of pleasure that crossed your features, drinking in the way your lips parted and your breath hitched with each touch.
"ThâThat feels good," you cooed, your eyes fluttering low but not completely shut, wanting to see him as he worked over you. He followed your gaze where his fingers continued their exploration, gently pulling back the soft flesh to expose your clit. He traced light, feathery strokes over the sensitive skin and the motion left your legs shaking, nearly losing balance if he weren't holding you against him.
He grabbed the back of your thigh. âPut your leg up here.â
You complied and rested your feet on the bed, giving more access. The new position allowed him to press his fingers more deeply against your clit, his fingers moving in a steady rhythm. You were trembling, mind numb from the way he was touching you, and you almost couldnât take it when he dipped his middle finger inside your cunt.
"God, Spencer,â you gasped, dropping a hand to the wrist that was nestled between your legs, nails digging into his skin. He slipped another finger inside you, and your eyes screwed shut this time. You could feel his fingers curling inside you, seeking, then finding, the tender spot that made you cry out in pleasure.
Everything became a blur after that. His fingers continued to thrust into you, and with each movement, you grew wetter, the slick sounds of your arousal echoing throughout his room. You clung to his shoulders for support, your breath coming in ragged gasps as he pressed soft kisses across your chest. His thumb then brushed against your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure in gentle circles.
"I'mâŠâ Your eyes fluttered open when his mouth latched onto your hard nipple. âI'm gonna come... if you... keep doing that..."Â
You weren't even sure why you were warning him, but you couldnât stop yourself as your hips rolled against his hands. His thumb circled your clit faster in response, and the world around you began to spin. You gasped his name, the sound escaping your lips in a desperate, breathless moan.
When his teeth softly grazed your sensitive nipple, you finally snapped. Wave after wave of orgasm bliss rolled through your body, the pulse of pleasure sending your thighs trembling as he held you through all of it. It's all too much, too intense, and you were left completely spent, shaking, breathless, and needing to lay down immediately.
Spencer caught you as you collapsed on top of him, the force of your weight pushing him onto his back. You stayed like that for a moment, trying to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling rapidly against his. But it didn't last long when you felt his bulge press right between your thighs. Without thinking, you found yourself rolling your hips.
He let out a sharp gasp, his hands gripping your hips tightly as you moved against him. You could feel the heat radiating from him, the hardness of his erection pressing against you through the fabric of his pants as your face hovered above his, lips barely touching.
"So when are you going to fuck me?"
He bucked his hips against you. "I-I... I have a condom in my drawer."
His words made you falter. Why does he have a condom?
It was stupid, really, you knew why contraception was necessary. But the thought of him having an active sexual life with someone else after you had drifted apart stung deeply. It wasnât technically your business, but knowing that he might have been with others hurt, especially when the last man you had been close to was him.
"Spence... why do you have a condom?"
You hated how small your voice sounded.
He gently brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, his eyes searching yours as he weighed his words before letting out a sigh. "After⊠after that night, when weâalmost⊠I just wanted to be prepared. I didn't know if⊠if we'd everâŠ"
You slowly relaxed. "So you haven't used any?"
He shook his head. "No, I haven't."
Your heart swelled at his words. You leaned in and kissed him softly, a sudden rush of affection washing over you. "Well, I think it's time we put it to use," you whispered against his lips, the hint of a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. "Where did you put it?"
"Bottom drawer, on the left."
You pulled away to reach over to his drawer, hearing the sound of his belt buckle unlatching behind you. Your eyes briefly flashed towards the book sitting on the nightstand, a glimpse of its cover catching your attention. But you didnât dwell on it, you were too focused on rummaging through his things until your fingers brushed against the familiar texture of the wrapper.
He was completely naked as you turned to face him again, your eyes catching his cock resting perfectly against his stomach as he leaned back against the pillows. You crawled over to him and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on his bulging tip.
He let out a sharp hiss. "I-I don't think I can last long if you do that."
You smiled and straightened yourself, your fingers delicately tearing open the wrapper. You could feel his eyes on you, half-lidded with desire, his focus narrowing to the way your fingers brushed against his skin. His body tensed, and his breathing grew heavier, as you slowly slid the condom down his length.
The thin latex felt almost invisible under your fingertips, allowing the heat radiating from his body to seep through. He couldn't take his eyes off you, mesmerized by the way your fingers glided over him so effortlessly. Your touch was firm yet gentle, and when you finally reached the base, you gave him a final, possessive squeeze.
Spencer let out a shaky breath, his hands finding your hips as you positioned yourself over him. You hovered above his tip, teasingly brushing it against your entrance before slowly sinking down. You paused halfway, adjusting to his size, feeling lightheaded as he stretched you regardless of how wet you were. It was overwhelming, but the numbness was exactly the kind of rush you were seeking.
And finally, with a deep breath, you let gravity pull you down, taking him all the way in.
You both gasped at the sensation, the intense fullness causing your muscles to clench around him. His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh as he steadied you. Then, slowly, you began to move, lifting yourself slightly before sinking back down.
Your breaths synchronized, shallow and quick, as you found a steady rhythm. Spencerâs hands guided you, his palms pressing firmly on your hips before trailing back to your ass, squeezing the soft flesh. You held onto his jaw as you leaned in, your lips meeting in a heated, breathless kiss. His tongue slid into your mouth and your brain turned to mush.
He kissed you hungrily while your hips continued to rise and fall, each movement driving him deeper inside you. You felt his hands roam your body, one sliding up your back to pull you closer, while the other remained on your ass, encouraging you. You moaned into his mouth, the sensation of his lips and his cock brushing your tight, inner walls making you tremble with pleasure.
You pulled back slightly, resting your forehead against his. "S-Spence..."
He nipped at your bottom lip, casually biting and pulling it between his teeth. "Mhm?"
You didnât know why you had called out his name, only that you needed to. It was more of a reflex than anything else, a desperate need to connect as your pace quickened. He let out a low, throaty sound of pleasure as your walls clenched around him. And that was when you heard your name on his lips. It was soft, but it was enough to drive you to the edge. You rolled your hips urgently, trying to chase that familiar, blissful sensation but your thighs started to burn, your movements slowing down a little. He sensed your struggle and tightened his hands on your waist.
His fingers dug harshly into the tender skin of your sides, his hips bucking up to meet yours with force. His thrusts suddenly became more relentless, each powerful push driving him deeper inside you. The slick, wet sounds of his cock sliding in and out of your cunt filled the air, the squelch of your joined body punctuating with each thrust.
The pleasure built within you, coiling tighter and tighter until it was all-consuming. Finally, with one last, powerful thrust, you were both pushed over the edge. Your body convulsed with the force of your orgasm at the same time he spilled into you. His head fell back against the pillows, his eyes squeezed shut as your fingers dug into his shoulders, riding out every wave of your climax.
It took a few more minutes before you felt his body relax. You did the same, collapsing on top of him as he is hands softened their grip on you, gently caressing your back.
"Are you⊠okay?" You simply nodded, too tired to find your own voice. His thumb brushed your side. âAre you sure?â
You nodded again, snuggling yourself closer, feeling the weight of your body pressing down on him. He kissed the top of your head.
âI know youâre making yourself comfortable, but I really need to go to the bathroom.â
You lifted your head, meeting his eyes. âWould it bother you if I peed at the same time you clean yourself?â
The smile that spread across his face lit up his features. âOf course not.â
You pressed a soft kiss to his chest before reluctantly rolling off him. Spencer slid off the bed and reached for your hand, helping you up. You both moved to the bathroom, where Spencer headed for the sink to wash up while you made your way to the toilet.
As you sat there, you thought about how surprisingly natural this feltâalmost as if you had done this before. The way he naturally kissed your cheek before exiting the bathroom didnât feel awkward or out of place, it was oddly comforting. When you finally finished, he was already waiting for you in comfortable clothes. He stretched out his hand, and when you took it, he pulled you close. âAre you hungry?â
You found yourself nodding. âI could eat something.â
He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. âIâll make us some sandwiches, I think I have enough stuff in the fridge,â he suggested, and then added somewhat sheepishly, âI also, um, put some fresh clothes out for you to use. I hope thatâs okay.â
Your heart might burst at how adorable he was. âThank you, Spence. Thatâs really sweet.â
He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before heading to the kitchen. You picked up the clothes he had laid out for youâa soft t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but as you held them, your gaze drifted back to the book sitting on his nightstand. Curiosity got the better of you, and you picked up the book, studying the cover.
The Narrative of John Smith.
You opened it, noticing the handwritten quote on the first page.
âLove is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone, we find it with another.â âThomas Mertonâ
A sudden feeling of nausea hit you, as if youâd been punched in the gut. You flipped through the pages, trying to steady your breathing. It wasnât the softness of the paper that greeted you as you slipped onto the next page, but the sharp edges of something hard brushing against your fingertips. You carefully pulled out what seemed to be a photograph, your heart sinking as you realized whose it was⊠Because right in your hand, Maeve was smiling back at you.
Maeve.
Maeve. Donovan.
Everything suddenly came crashing back, the past shooting straight to your heart. The memories, the pain, the confusionâit all flooded your mind in an instant. You remembered why you and Spencer had drifted apart, why that night had changed everything. The woman staring back at you was the reason you had shut yourself off from him in the first place.
No, it wasnât all her faultâyouâd be a heartless fool to blame a dead woman for something she couldnât control. But she had consumed his mind. The presence she held in his life was enough to end the friendship you once had. And now, holding the photograph, you felt an overwhelming tightness in your chest that made it hard to breathe. The walls seemed to close in, the room feeling too small.
You needed to get out of here.
You quickly pulled on your clothes, the fabric feeling suffocating as you hurriedly dressed. Your movements were frantic, driven by a need to escape. You dashed out of his room, but Spencer was already standing by the bedroom door.
"I was just about to call you, the food isâhey, what's wrong?"
You walked past him, the pain constricting your chest so tightly that you could barely breathe, let alone speak. âI⊠I need to go,â you stammered out over your shoulder.
Spencer's face fell as he saw the distress in your eyes, his hands reaching out to stop you as you headed for the front door. He turned you to face him, and the moment he saw the tears threatening to spill, his own expression crumpled in worry.
"What happened?" he asked softly, his hands gently cupping your face. You flinched and shoved him away.
âDonât touch me.â
You noticed the hurt in his eyes, but you barely looked at him, trying to control your own emotions. Your mind was a whirlwind of confusion. You felt the lingering warmth from the post-orgasmic rush, the serotonin still buzzing in your veins, but at the same time, the gut-wrenching pain was consuming you. The fleeting sensation youâd felt moments ago seemed like a cruel mockery now, as your heart twisted with every beat.
âYouâre really leaving?â
You slowly nodded, refusing to meet his gaze.
âJust like that, after tonight?â
You remained silent, your mouth shut tight. Then you heard him mutter something under his breath, barely audible but unmistakable.
âThatâs what you always do, isnât it?â
Your eyes snapped to him. âWhat is that supposed to mean?â
There was a heavy silence, a beat of rising tension as his eyes narrowed at you. âYou run away when things get hard.â
You stared back at him in surprise. âIs that what you think Iâm doing?â
âYes,â he said sharply. âEvery time we get to a point where we might actually resolve something, you disappear.â
Was that really how he saw you? Someone who ran away at the first sign of trouble? The thought was a bitter pill, one that left a heavy, sour taste in your mouth.
âThatâs not fair,â you protested, shaking your head as you felt the sting of tears at the corner of your eyes.
âWell, you know whatâs not fair?â His voice suddenly turned a pitch higher, each word cutting through the air. âPulling me into thisâthis whole fake relationship thing and then running away when it starts to mean something real.â
âWhat?â The accusation stung, a sharp jab to your already fragile heart. âYou think this was easy for me? You think I didnât have doubts?â
"I think you dragged me into this and now youâre scared because itâs not just a game anymore," he pressed, his eyes flashing with frustration as he stepped closer. âEvery time l show that l actually care, you run away.â
âI donât run away.â
âYes, you do. You always bail on me,â he argued, his tone growing sharper with each word. âJust like that morning, just like now, and just like that nightââ
You finally had enough.
"Donât you dare bring that up!â You snapped. âYou donât get to use that against me. You know exactly why I had to leave!â
Spencer flinched as if he was struck. The impact of your words hit him hard, and you could see the hurt and realization dawning in his eyes. His posture sagged, the tension in his shoulders melting away as the anger drained from his face. âI know, I know,â he whispered, the regret clear in his voice. âI-Iâm sorry.â
Your heart ached, the pain of old wounds reopening. The memories of that night, the way you felt invisible and helplessâit all came crashing back. You shook your head, taking a step back, needing to put distance between you. âNo, I canât do this right now.â
You turned away, desperate to escape. The walls felt like they were closing in, your chest tightening with every breath.
âWait,â he called after you. âIâm sorry. Please⊠I donât⊠stay, please.â
You paused slightly, but you couldnât let yourself give in. Not when every painful memory from that night seemed to claw its way back to the surface. Not when the fear of getting hurt again loomed so large. Not when you knew if you turned back now, you might never find the strength to walk away again.
âWe should end this whole thing,â you said quietly, each word feeling like a knife twisting in your heart. âIâll tell Hotch first thing in the morning.â
The words hung in the air, heavy and final. The reality of what you had said sank in, and for a moment, it felt like time itself had frozen. His face fell, a look of utter devastation crossed his features as his eyes searched yours, trying to grasp at the fragments of what was left. He opened his mouth to speak, but you couldnât bear to face him any longer.
You slowly reached for the door, wrenching it open before stepping into the cold night. You left him standing there, watching helplessly as you walked away for what felt like the hundredth time.
#much ado about nothing#gifwriting#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid series#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencerreid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction
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Ś Ëł sweet relief , heeseung.
college student fem reader, college student hee Ű wc: 3.4k Ű genre: en2l, one side hatred, angstsy? Ű tw: f word, suggestive but nothing explicit.
you throw your head back. whining in defeat. why does he have to make every single thing so difficult?
âso is it true, _____ âŠâ â that grin making his words more annoying. âwhat one of your friends told me? you have a little crush on me? thatâs why princess always act so mad around me?â, a pout form on his lips while trying to sound conceding.
blood pumping like crazy. you wanted to punch him right on his stomach and make him eat all of his ego back, âsay shit like that again and iâm making you regret even being alive, lee heeseung.â
âawww, i was hoping for more of a sweet answer.â, whatever possessed this man today wasnât going to give up so easily.
you and heeseung have always been like cat and dog, ever since your friend group decided to introduce the new âcollege takerâ. you didnât know how to pinpoint what exactly made you cautious and angry towards him. you just felt something really dangerous vibrating around his aura.
thatâs when the news started to float around â âlee heeseung? that guy slept with a girl in my class and never looked at her face again.â, âone of my closest best friends told me he is the legitimately fuckboy. heâs friends with those frat boys that we saw one day at the bar. the ones who looked drunk af and were trying to hit on us.â
his reputation didnât come as a surprise to you. you guess it was the way he always made sure to look at your eyes while speaking, the way his dark hair was meticulously messy, the way he cared himself as if every girl in the room was looking at him. â and as it might be true, you hated the overconfidence in him. it didnât come as naturally. it came out as cocky, gross.Â
âcome on⊠no need to get shy now.â
âi donât know if your brain is all scrambled, and that is the main reason why youâre so fucking annoying, but i never said that. whoever told you that is in serious need of help. and also, i know it wasnât one of our friends because theyâre pretty aware of my complete disaffection for you.â
heeseung acts as if he got hurt, âouch! i was just trying to clear up a misunderstanding.â, acting all nonchalantly and using that stupid soft voice, with that stupid grin, with that stupid subtle arrogance.Â
âfine. if youâre done clearing up your brain, excuse me. the guys are waiting for me.â, you say going towards the bathroom door.
âone last thing, _____.â, you look back with a painful expression, wondering what else that psycho has to tell you.Â
he pulls you by your hips in one swift motion. you try your best to not lose your balance and let the rest of your dignity fly out of the window. heeseung lips come close to your ear and stays there. his breath causing a small thread of electricity to fall all over your body.
âso if i kissed you right now, it would mean nothing. right, princess? since iâm so dumb and so annoying to even know what iâm doing. iâm completely moved by my âsouth thoughtsâ. wasnât that what you told everyone?â, he wants to tease and make you mad. he wants to leave you just a conscious away from punching him.Â
his face moves from your ears going to your chest, leaving a trace of his lips from the middle to your cheek. âsay you donât want me. say you hate me so much to the point where you canât resist kissing me.â
you couldn't move. your body was feeling in this ride or die situation. but it would not follow your inner rational voice screaming to run away. you⊠want this? you want him to kiss you? no! these are your three glasses far away from sobriety speaking.Â
âi donât have the whole night-â, your lips finally touch his. the kiss is messy and desperate. were you waiting for this moment? god, you really wish you wasn't. heeseung is no better. you feel it as he dances in your mouth. the electricity spread on your body seemed to have made it's way through his as well. your lips couldnât be away even for a little. you both wanted more. more of what this unknown feeling was presenting to you.
but oxygen needs to come back to your respective bodies, so you separate the kiss only for a few seconds. and before going in again â because for now it seems like youâre addicted to heeseungâs mouth â the words fall out of your mouth.
âyou look better without speaking.â
â
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â
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© gyuletters, 2024 - do not repost, copy, or translate. // rn im going through a very dangerous heeseung brainrot. and funny enough, im usually not the one to like enemies to lovers. i personally feel like its an excuse to make the male protagonists say mean shit and later apologize by admitting they were in love. but listen! one sided hatred is kinda my thing and im a sucker for teasing, as in both of the characters be teasing each other and see who breaks first. soooooooo iâve decided to give it a try. i hope iâve made justice to this trope. anywayssss tysm for reading this fic and for sticking around for my nonsensical rambling. ily more than you could imagine. đ€
with love, đ.
xoxo.
#.đ„ Ę Ë ÍÍ ÍÍ Í© glettrs official Í ÍÍ ÍÍ ÍÍ Í!! Í ÍÍ Í Í ÍÍ ÍÍ Í Í#enhypen#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#enhypen fluff#enhypen suggestive#enhypen angst#heeseung#heeseung fics#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#heeseung suggestive#heeseung angst
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