#hopefully the order (not chronological) i wrote this in (and the whole thing in general) makes sense

[jadecantcreate]

curse of strahdanya has officially taken over my brain! alongside arcane…season two is SO GOOD SO FARR please go watch it if you haven’t. holy shit yall it does not disappoint

spoilers for up to and the entirety of episode 7 of cos — ill mainly be talking about character dynamics (mostly shepnax) but major events and plot developments will be explicitly discussed as well, so, if you’re not there yet, please don’t keep reading (getting spoilered for this stuff is not worth it i promise)

im sorry in advance. im not even done writing everything yet and its already very long

the way i see it, episode 7 is a major turning point for not only the whole story but inter-party relationships as well. i’ll be organizing this a little bit so it’s less text-wall-y (hopefully)

shepherd

there’s the raven mother they find nailed to the wall — the culprit being strahdanya. this definitely fueled the hate that all of the party had for her, but especially shepherd. he literally screams out in anguish and, later, calls strahdanya a coward and bitch — something we’ve never seen shepherd do before.* i think the events in the beginning of ep 7 is what really cemented his and the party’s objective: destroy strahdanya. before, i sensed some kind of ‘wiggle room’: the party would be willing to work with her a bit, though only for a very short amount of time and would probably backstab her. but after witnessing all that? strahdanya is irredeemably evil, not worthy of consideration / sympathy / courtesy, and i think it finally fully dawned on them all

*i also love how much raw emotion shepherd expresses throughout the campaign. the rest of the party has their moments too (i can immediately think of kana and victoria, but im not remembering any significant ones for clayton or sarnax though i know they exist), but shepherd consistently reacts to the hellhole that is barovia in such a genuine way that it grounds the whole narrative and, to me, makes barovia that much more horrifying. in other stories or discussions of stories ive seen like this (and even in the cos party itself), the characters are largely untouched by the horrors that occur in such a setting. which, fit the characters/purpose as it might, distances the audience at least a tiny bit from the happenings of the narrative. but when you have an otherwise grounded, calm, capable individual like shepherd crack? that’s when it really hits you i think. like, the whole thing with sarnax reviving the mother? shepherd being so relieved and overcome with a multitude of feelings that his voice cracks as he holds back tears, begging the mother to rest and not do any work? it made me feel the same way, and it really drove home how wonderful this act is and how dire their situation is. shepherd (and andy by extension!) have drawn the most emotion out of me in my watch, and its possibly the main reason i enjoy his character so much

him being seemingly chosen by the silver dragon (which, again, another turning point) is very compelling in a narrative sense too because shepherd doesnt want power, he doesn’t seem to even like the idea of leading (or at least being pushed into a position of leadership). i’ll touch on it later in the shepherd and sarnax segment (if i dont forget lol, my mind is running wild while i write this)

victoria

i think strahd’s infatuation with her and the physical effects it has (kana’s cleansing ritual failing because the water becomes blood as it touches victoria) is so interesting, especially her inner conflict with her heritage and wickedness (and the distrust it sows between her and the party, at least initially)

i really enjoyed how victoria was vulnerable with kana, and how kana handled it with such care and compassion. this is also a turning point, i think, when it comes their relationship: kana promises to protect victoria, and victoria promises to fight the darkness within her; they definitely got closer after that, and their bond was deepened. i dont imagine strahd would be very happy about victoria not being enamored by her and being helped by her party, though it’s very possible that she enjoys ‘the chase’ (for the lack of a better term)

when they came across the dusk elf in the order of the silver dragon estate-thing, it’s a pretty clear parallel to victoria given her appearance, heritage, and reason for being in barovia. i could be very very wrong about this but its heavily implied victoria’s elf half is a dusk elf, which makes sense considering, again, that she’s in barovia to learn about her lineage and that dusk elves are the only elves mentioned so far. i think this is the first time she’s genuinely made progress in her goal

sarnax

sarnax’s identity revolves around gherix: his whole life is devoted to the fire lord; he’s used to communing with and praying to his god. it’s likely what kept him going in such a terrible place with such terrible odds of survival, let alone returning (which he’s convinced he will not). so when strahdanya intercepted the augury spell he was so clearly shaken. it was one of the few moments, if not the only one, where sarnax was in genuine, utter panic — the whole time shepherd repeatedly asked him if he was alright and he didn’t seem to hear those words at all. suddenly he learned that strahdanya could damage or possibly sever his connection to his god, the being his life is centered around. (kana’s comment certainly didn’t help)

but what happens after — the augury spell reading ‘weal’ and sarnax being able to revive the mother — strengthens his faith. it was tested, but he prevailed. i think he was also filled with a newfound sense of purpose, knowing that, no matter what strahd does, his god considers him worthy enough

about him and kana: episode 7 is the culmination of their slow development towards not only tolerating each other’s beliefs but to understand and embrace them, specifically with kana saying that she trusts in sarnax and his god

sarnax and shepherd

the conversation between them was my favorite moment in this episode by far. there are so many layers,

shepherd so clearly doesnt want to embody his namesake and be a leader, but the silver dragon and someone he trusts so much — sarnax — and fate itself push him in that direction, so he just does. shepherd says:

“sarnax don’t”

“no why would you-“

“why- why- why would you put this on me, why?”

“how can you say that?”

“this was just a job. i mean this was just to make sure we all got here and back safely…how did this happen?”

then, later…

“alright, alright i…okay. i…dont know what to say”

“alright…alright…okay, understood”

“sure, sure. lead the way” and, after sarnax says “no, shepherd. you lead the way, i will light the path,” “…fine.”

essentially, he sucks it up. and that’s interesting to me since shepherd shows so much emotion, so it’s clearly not a ‘men dont cry’-type ideology thing. i think it’s probably related to his desire to do good, and as well as the good doc. after all, the doc gave him his virtue name: shepherd. it only makes sense that he would be written by fate as one: a person who guides the lost through the darkness. so that’s my guess as to why he so readily accepts this burden

i think sarnax being the one to say this also played a role in it^. shepherd witnessed firsthand the power of gherix and sarnax’s wisdom, so much so that he prayed to gherix. shepherd, who was originally averse to anything religious, prayed. and i also think sarnax is shepherd’s only true friend in the party. his relationship with clayton, victoria, and kana feels like professional acquaintances — they’re comfortable with each other and certainly growing closer, but he seeks out sarnax (and sarnax does too) and both have called the other a friend or good friend, on more than one occasion for shepherd and at least one for sarnax. it’s obvious that shepherd values what sarnax has to say and cares for him.

because of that, sarnax saying that he will die in barovia (specifically that he doesn’t “believe [he has] a place back in avantris” and that “whatever it is that [they] achieve here will be [his] end” because he has “seen it in the flames”) and shepherd’s reaction hits even harder for me.

shepherd says “i’m not gonna leave you. i’m not gonna leave anyone.”

and sarnax replies “then it will be i that leaves you.”

it’s the shortest exchange, but it holds so much weight. sarnax has accepted his fate, possibly long before this. but when before sarnax took charge and led the group, shining his light, he steps back, realizing shepherd is the one who (he thinks) fits that role. he still guides, but he doesn’t lead, and he believes shepherd should. but shepherd doesn’t. shepherd’s used to following orders, as we see so many times with him and clayton (but also him and sarnax), and struggles to make decisions for the group — when they ask him where they should go, shepherd seemingly blanks and he just picks whatever as fast as he can (to get the pressure off him, i assume). and despite this, shepherd’s line reinforces what sarnax thinks: a good shepherd doesn’t leave his sheep behind, he goes after and, well, shepherds them.

and honestly the whole relationship between shepherd and sarnax. them being regarded as monsters by others, being dehumanized by, for example, vascha [?] thinking shepherd is a devil and esmeralda calling sarnax shepherd’s pet ->

shepherd answers, understably upset, “he’s not my pet, he’s a person!” i figured sarnax felt the same way, but when he was praying to gherix, he referred to shepherd as “a vessel for [gherix’s] wrath.” so that raised a question to me: does sarnax truly care for shepherd (in the way shepherd does), or does he view him as a tool? it’s interesting to think about. it could be him truly caring about shepherd and seeing him as a capable person who will have a great role in his god’s plans which, i imagine, is among the highest of honors — the first possibility in the question, but filtered through the lens of sarnax’s religious perspective (which i think is the most likely and most compelling)

and there’s the parallel with them being connected to gold and silver dragons: different, but the same. (unrelated tangent but there’s also a very interesting parallel between shepherd being chosen by the silver dragon [‘good’] and victoria being chosen by strahdanya [‘bad’])

sarnax saying “silver will unite with gold” is, on the surface, about the two dragon-gods involved in the story. but i think, on a deeper and probably unintended level, it also applies to shepherd and sarnax growing closer (as they have been since the prologue, following in the footsteps of their respective dragons, and shepherd connecting the two dragons by his faith in gherix and affinity to the silver dragon.

i think that’s everything! hopefully i wont post this and immediately remember something i didn’t mention

thank you for reading all of this <33

[pepperwebsblog]

Some reflections of mine.....

Why write the entire fic and wait to post, rather than posting chapter by Chapter?

It’s  a very good question and until Love Letters, the way I worked was to post chapter by chapter as I wrote fics. Sometimes I wrote with one chapter in hand. But I always did a serial format.

I did always plan my entire fics out chapter by chapter so I knew what I was covering and where I wanted the fic to end, so I was following a loose structure. But yeah I would write a chapter and pretty immediately post it.

I did like this way of doing things, it allows for that instant gratification which is great cos you get that instant feedback on your work.

But for Love Letters, it was a complex narrative with actual letters appearing not in chronological order. So whilst I always plan out my fics, this one needed to hang together beginning to end so I was not confident posting chapter by chapter in case I missed some detail I needed to go back and fix in chapter 1.

This meant it was about 10 weeks of work with very little feedback. And I will say having @xuxudio on hand as a brilliant friend to cheer me on was invaluable here, it was a hard slog to complete the fic with only myself having read the whole thing in entirety. But it made for a much higher quality fic in my opinion, I think the story hangs together better. This fic has had WAY more edit read-throughs than my others and so grammatically and spelling-wise it is better at the very least.

Also reflecting on things, it just works so much better for me in my stage of life now. I have reached a stage in my career where I am a senior manager and work demands a lot from me which is tiring but because I really enjoy my job it's very fulfilling.  Also balancing work with the rest of life's demands, seeing family and friends, volunteer work, exercise, and all the general adult stuff as well. I only get free time to write at the weekends and a few evenings in the week and not too late as I need to be well rested for work. So having something that I can pick up and put back down without any worries of sticking to an upload schedule or of letting readers down is helpful for me. I can work on the fic until it's done and then post regularly at a time that suits me because I have the fic written and ready to go.

And yeah, I think ultimately I prefer this way of writing now. And hopefully the audience appreciate it too as they know it's a complete fic and they're going to get something they know is finished which I think is very satisfying.

So yeah, that's why I have shifted this year to writing fics in this way. It might change again in the future but for now it's the right thing for me.

And why post chapter by chapter if the whole fic is written?

Because this gives me breathing space to write the next fic!

And it allows for the story to build, hopefully it's fun for the readers too, to keep coming back each week for the next chapter. It gives the story momentum and allows for more interaction between me and the readers.

And, being completely honest really honest, posting chapter by chapter keeps my fic at the top of the various tag lists on Ao3, as it's default ordering is by most recent. This means more people see my work and have the opportunity to read it. I'm not solely about hits and kudos but those are nice recognitions of my work.

I dont owe anyone an explanation but felt like providing one, thanks for reading!

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hello! a few hours from now, the epilogue of go on, claim my heart, the my fair lady sequel, is gonna be posting, so i wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has stopped by my lil corner of the internet to read what has become my largest writing project to date. i had no idea what i was getting myself into when i first started writing mfl, especially not half a year of feverish, near-obsessive plotting and writing and rewriting this story that would not leave me alone. a lot of things fell to the wayside as i wrote mfl and gocmh, and i don't regret any of it, because i can safely say that this is the writing that i am the most proud of.

i want to thank @romeoandjulietyouwish in particular for her graciously allowing me to play in her sandbox. no one's mind works like lis's, and as i have said before, she comes up with so many fucking stellar ideas that she leaves crumbs for the rest of us, so i'm super grateful that she's so kind about letting us take those crumbs and make them our own. mfl wouldn't exist without you, lis, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

i also could not wrap this series without calling out the two best readers a girl could ask for, @ravendruid and @crispysnake. y'all are fucking unhinged, but it is the exact energy that every writer needs to keep going. i can't tell you the number of times a drabble or chapter posted that i wasn't particularly fond of that you two completely changed my opinion about. you two are the kindest, most enthusiastic, most generous readers, and i'm so lucky that you're also my friends. please continue to be absolutely batshit in my tags; it's the only thing that keeps me going.

(also @otterlycaleb made fucking ART about this shit, what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK—)

a hopefully but probably not quick note about the future of mfl: today, like literally right now, i am in the middle of my first day of work at a brand new job, one that will require me to move my entire life halfway across the country, back to my hometown. it is big and scary and exhilarating and everything i've been hoping for, and i feel so, so lucky. this does mean that for the next little bit, while i learn a new job and pick up my shit and drive cross-country, i will probably be less able to write long or short fics, so i hope y'all don't mind me shutting up for the first time in forever. that being said, while i have absolutely no plans to write a third installment in the mfl 'verse, that doesn't mean there isn't more to say (as y'all will find out in like three and a half hours lol). i fully plan on still writing tmwiw drabbles set before, during, and after mfl/gocmh, and i will still be accepting prompts and requests for drabbles set in this 'verse until i say otherwise. mfl will always occupy an inordinate amount of my brain space, and i refuse to not share that with y'all.

additionally! starting very soon (like, maybe tomorrow? we'll see how busy i am, lol), i will be posting to ao3 the entirety of the mfl 'verse in chronological order. every chapter, one-shot, and drabble, in the order that they happened. another massive shout-out to @ravendruid for being my own personal lore-keeper on this; she read every single mfl chapter, tmwiw drabble, and one-shot to help me get this shit in order. the ao3 work will be titled i've come a long, long way (also from "my fair lady" by kaleo, are we seeing a pattern here?), and the plan is to post five chapters a day until the whole thing is up (although, again, with the moving this might get a lil wibbly wobbly). there will be some additional proofreading edits to these chapters (sometimes i can't spell!!) but nothing about the substance of these chapters will change, so this is just for people who like their stories to be told chronologically (fucking weirdos). this work will only be available on ao3, although it will be linked on my mfl masterpost.

ok, i think i am done for now. i have taken up enough of your time, in so many more ways than one. thank you again, if you read every single installment of the mfl saga or if you just read a paragraph. all of it means the world to me, and i know i never would have continued past the first chapter if i weren't part of such a wonderful, loving, generous, brilliant community. i've only been watching critical role for just over a year now, part of the fandom for even less than that, and i can't believe i haven't always had y'all in my life. please continue to love and support each other, and thank you for loving and supporting me.

[karliesbuzzcut]

(100) Million Dollar Lawsuit

Intro | part1 | part2 | part3 | part4

We are on the last chapter (for now) and this the most chaotic one. Mainly because it doesn’t follow any kind of chronological order (or logical sense), it’s just Russ going in circles for literal years.

But I’ll try my best to condense it for you, so all you need to do is to keep your seat belt fastened until the aircraft stops completely.

Right after the failed Ari lawsuit, Russ goes back to his one and only love: Taylor Swift 💫 And he has learned a lesson — not a good lesson, mind you, but a lesson: small claims courts won’t take him anywhere. If he really wants to punish women for not complimenting his suit, he will have to file a multi-million dollar federal lawsuit.

But, since denying sex from The Russell isn’t illegal (yet), he had to come at it from a different angle. I’m going to give Russ a chance to explain himself first.

Before you ask: yes, the following was Russell’s response to a woman thanking Taylor for visiting an 8 year-old girl who was very badly burned in an accident.

As I’ve always said, it’s okay if you aren’t fluent in Bullshit. That’s what I’m here for.

You see, Russell views human interactions as a series of transactions: I make a tweet worth liking, you go on a date with me; I take you to Olive Garden, you give me a handie for free; I put on a suit, you hug me and smile; I write you a song and sue you, you produce said song. Whenever women don’t fulfil their side of the deal, he becomes enraged.

But the reason he has such a strong hate-boner for Tay, is because she seemed to also follow his same ‘moral code’. A kid makes a cute video, she visits them at the hospital. A fan writes her a letter inviting her to their wedding, she goes to the wedding. A couple of kids fold 1989 paper cranes for Andrea, Taylor invites them to one of her concerts.

Russ thought “this is a done deal”. He didn’t write that song for Taylor because he particular liked her; he just thought she’d be the most likely artist to produce it — or at least acknowledge his existence.

I mentioned before that Russ wrote a whole-ass book about this. And I think it’s as good a time as any to talk about it. For a short amount of time, Russell chilled out about the ✨100 million dollar lawsuit ✨ but my guess is that he thought his book would get him the same results as a lawsuit? To be fair, the book is fantastic. 5/5, would recommend. 

He details the harassment he went through after suing Taylor Swift (the first time). Apparently old ladies at coffee shops would scream at him because he dared to sue Our Queen. A Mexican even pointed a gun at him (it wasn’t me, guys! Just a fellow countryman ❤️) and ordered Russ to drop the lawsuit. Computers at his job caught on literal fire because he was sent very powerful viruses. His friend Ken — who definitely exists! — was hit with a Molotov cocktail. Yep. 2016 was definitely the year people were willing to murder for Taylor Swift.

There’s also this brilliant dream sequence that involves an owl with the voice of Morgan Freeman, and Taylor’s agents guarding a tower in which she’s being held captive. 

ALSO ALSO: an entire chapter is called “SHE CHOSE HIM OVER ME”. Taylor Swift chose Joe Alwyn — a man she actually knows — over a man she’s not even aware exists. Women, amiright?

I think Russell would enjoy the Kaylor community to a certain extent. Not the lesbian part, obviously: he doesn’t trust women who don’t want to touch his peen. I just mean the baseless hatred of Joe. Look, I made a little collage of his rants ❤️ tell me if any of this sounds familiar!

You know — I’ve been joking around a lot about Russell just wanting to do the nasty with Taylor. But you know me, I like joking around. In reality Russ only wants what is fair. He wants to put a stop to all these senseless acts of kindness perpetrated by Taylor ‘The Generous’ Swift.

This isn’t about him at all, actually. Shame on you for thinking there’s an ounce of greed in that selfless little body of his. HE’S DOING THIS TO PROTECT THE KIDS WITH CANCER!

There are no ulterior motives here! This isn’t about a date!

THIS IS NOT ABOUT A DATE AT ALL GUYS STOP SAYING THAT.

I think this is my favourite post of his, because– grammatically speaking –he doesn’t specify which of them is wearing the red dress. And that sends me every goddamn time.

Anyway. The book, as magnificent as it was, got him absolutely nowhere. I know, I can’t believe it either. So he went back to focus on his lawsuit. But apparently not enough, because he didn’t serve her properly..? Now, don’t expect me to understand this, because I am very stupid (so it’s quite a good thing that I haven’t sued anybody for millions of dollars) but something about him sending the lawsuit to her old legal team..? And then trying to force UPS to serve her? I think he even said he was going to serve her in the middle of one of her concerts... but I’m guessing that didn’t go as planned 🤷‍♀️ oops.

Of course, Russie wouldn’t allow such an anticlimactic ending. Can you guess what he did? Please tell me that you can guess what he did. HE MADE ANOTHER SONG 😭❤️

This one is called ‘I Don’t Get You, Taylor Swift’. Another masterpiece that we definitely didn’t deserve 🙌

This was around April, 2019. By then I was being lured away by Kaylors, so I broke it off with Russ. I know that he filed a 3rd lawsuit against Taylor last year, which is just like the second one but hopefully this time he’ll be able to serve. And listen— I know that sounds like an awful thing to wish on Taylor, but I’d rather have Russell occupied suing a rich woman (who isn’t even going to deal with him), than a poor sex worker in Nevada. I bet TayTay would prefer that too.

Well guys, I’ve mentioned this a few times already, but I really had to be selective with the amount of information I was going to throw at you. I’ve avoided some of the shittier stuff he said or did, because I wanted to keep these posts as lighthearted as possible. I also didn’t touch on many things because they would just derail us. Like for example: one of the few lawsuits he has filed against someone who isn’t a woman, was against the state of Utah. I know, right? He’s trying to singlehandedly legalise prostitution in Utah, and even wrote a book (more like a pamphlet) brilliantly titled ‘Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks: A Short Essay from a Pro Se Litigant who is Challenging the Utah Brothel Bans’.

I copy-pasted that title guys, I swear to god.

The book is very graphic. This one I certainly do not recommend as I still suffer nightmares because of it.

Soren is a character who also had to be cut out — which is a shame because he really tried to be a good christian and help Russell. Not as in “I support you, Russell” but as in “why don’t you take a nap, Russell”. Turns out, even cinnamon rolls have a limit. Russ, of course, blames Taylor Swift for the fact that he’s losing his friends. I’m not joking — it’s an article in his lawsuit:

Greer has lost family relationships, friend connections and business connections because of the trauma of Taylor Swift. His family tells him to "get over it," resulting in shouting matches and strained relationships. Greer's friends get annoyed by his focusing on the trauma of it, when nobody knows the pain of getting rejected by a public figure — twice — and the fallout that has resulted from it.

Russell embodies that comic/meme of the little guy who puts a stick in his bicycle’s wheels and then blames Taylor Swift when he inevitably falls.

Sooooo...

Maybe someday I’ll write a post about Russ’ latest antics. I know he still posts stupid stuff on Facebook, which he later deletes. He shined especially bright at the peak of the BLM movement. He also plead guilty to electronic communications harassment— did you see that conviction coming? Yes, yes you did 😌

Regarding Taylor, I read that Russ knew someone who knew Todrick Hall — and Russ sent him a song and video for Taylor. All he got back was a Cease and Desist letter. But I’d have to do a bit of digging to get the details. I was already so overwhelmed with organising the information I was previously aware of, that I decided to leave the newer stuff for another time. You know, once I’ve had some time to inform myself... as well as a really long shower.

Since I left so much shit out, I’ll be taking questions if you have any. And if you can muster the courage to ask them. I’m weirdly proud of being some kind of Russell encyclopaedia. I might not have much going for me...

There’s no ‘but’ — that was the complete statement.

Before I go, I wanted to add this screenshot. I absolutely love it because it summarises ✨The Russell Experience✨. Russ wants Taylor to know pain, poverty and punishment. But when asked “why?” his answer is just “oh, I was ignored lol”

*none of the screenshots are mine

[thebreakfastgenie]

ik i already said chianti was my favorite, but please talk abt writing emergency room!!!

thank you for indulging my obvious fishing you're a real one <3 I did not expect this to get this long I'm so sorry I'm gonna put it under a cut

The Emergency Room is the only one of my "renaissance" fics I spent a lot of time on or really... worked at. Chianti, The Apple, and Campfire all came easily and unexpectedly. Normally I think I do some of my best writing that way and I am pleased with the writing on all of those but I do think The Emergency Room benefitted from the amount of time and attention it got.

I started writing Emergency Room on Christmas. It might have been Christmas Eve or the day after but I'm pretty sure it was Christmas itself, because I was trying very hard to finish a new draft of a Christmas themed WIP six years in the making (I failed. I'll try again this year.) and this other thing kept wanting to be written instead. So I was like, fine. So technically Emergency Room predates Chianti, at least everything up through the waiting room scene because those were all written first and then edited only a little later. I was on a role and I was so excited to get to the scene with the doctor and then when I got there it became impossible to write. I still don't know why this happened, but it did, so I had to stop writing it for a while.

But I never really stopped because I was thinking about that scene all the time and working on phrases and sentences. The way I write, a lot of the process is invisible. I work out full sentences and sometimes paragraphs in my head and then I write them down. (Most of the first half of Campfire was written in my head while I was in the woods and I was so anxious I would forget it before I got to my phone to write it down.) I do make changes at this point, but it's rare for them to be significant. I basically use my WIPs as my daydream scenarios for any time I need something to think about. I also write in chronological order, so this scene I was stuck on became my mental backdrop for months. I really wasn't planning to pick it back up when I did, I was supposed to be working on a different WIP, but it happened.

The conversation with the doctor is one of my favorite parts, but the farthest I had gotten during these months of rumination was this part:

“I thought your name sounded familiar,” she sounded apologetic, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I need to pick my metaphors more carefully.”

“Don’t be,” Josh shook his head. “You’re the first doctor I’ve seen in months that hasn’t opened with it. It’s... kind of nice.”

The next line, where she talks about the patient's role in surgery, was unplanned, but it ended up being pivotal to my understanding of this scene. The subtext of

“But there’s something else, something intangible, that comes from the patient. For all our scientific advancements, there’s still a lot we don’t understand about the body,” she paused, then added, “and the mind.”

is you lived because you wanted to live.

I actually worked out this subtext and I had a sentence that I thought sounded nice, but I didn't write it down because I knew I wasn't going to use it, and what I recall doesn't sound quite as nice, but it was basically "You were teetering on the brink of life and death. Dying had never been easier. If you wanted to die you would have done it then."

It's supposed to be a counterpoint to "He could have died happy," from the previous scene.

So, I hope someone picked up on that.

One of the things I knew about that scene all along is that when Josh tells the doctor what happened to his hand he's really telling Donna. Hopefully saying it to her shoes got that across adequately, lol. That moment was painful to write because I had already way, way committed to past tense but that one little line sounded so much better in present tense and there was nothing I could do about it. I still like the sound of:

"I broke a window," he tells Donna's shoes.

but there's nothing I can do about it!!! I'm not going to rerelease the Special Present Tense Edition although that sounds kinda fun, I have no desire to rewrite the rest of it in present tense.

Also I forgot about this when I was being annoying about wanting people to pick up on my favorite parts, but the thing about comparing the innards of the chair in the waiting room to organs is something I (surprise, surprise) thought of while looking at a cracked chair and I still adore the concept but I'm satisfied but not thrilled with the execution.

It's worth noting that even during the literal months I was stewing over the doctor scene, everything that comes after that was planned in excruciating detail. I even had specific phrases; the hug and

"I'll be right here when you get back." "Promise?" "I promise."

were one of the first scenes I thought of and anchored this fic the whole time I was writing it. That moment is the companion to

"I am very glad that you're alive." "Me too." "You are?"

in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

Because that's the other thing about this fic. From the beginning, I was envisioning it as the night before Fortune Cookie Wisdom. This caused me a few minor wrinkles, like the space heater. I was writing along assuming it was already there, when I went back and checked and realized that I established that Donna was the one who put it in the bedroom, so I came up with a compromise. I also deliberately avoided saying what time it was throughout Emergency Room so we can all convince ourselves Josh got a few hours of sleep before already being awake at 7:30 AM in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

But the biggest influence from Fortune Cookie Wisdom is the phone call in K-Mart. I had established that Donna got a last-minute flight home for Christmas and that Josh arranged it with Leo's help, and I knew I wanted the scene where he convinces her to go. But I had to figure out when and how he actually managed to pull it off and so the mysterious K-Mart phone call was born. I got a kick out of an AO3 comment that highlighted finding out who Josh was on the phone with because it meant that part actually worked.

And then there was the ending. At this point it was 2 AM, I had been agonizing over this fic nonstop for the last couple days and intermittently for months, and I wanted it to be done so I could post it. The ending was torture. I kept writing and deleting things. I kept staring at it trying to get the perfect last line, trying to convey the same general vibe as the end of Noël itself. I'm still not sure I didn't need one more sentence of buildup before putting the button on it, but everyone seemed to really like and respond to it, so I'm happy!

If you actually read this whole post congratulations we're friends now.

Also if you've read both I'd be very curious to hear how anyone thinks Emergency Room and Fortune Cookie Wisdom work together because I wrote them three years apart and the style is very different.

[fondnesses]

roscoe’s notebook post

A while back I said I was going to write a post about the way I use notebooks for writing projects. This is the first of several posts about Writing Process I’ve been tossing around in my drafts for a little while as a result of conversations with friends, so bear with me.

I. Love. Notebooks. I genuinely would have to deeply overhaul my whole Process of writing anything on the longer side if I were to go paperless; I find physical paper pretty invaluable when I’m outlining, brainstorming, and researching, and I still probably write ¼-⅓ of all my actual content on paper first. (That proportion used to be a lot higher, but I’ve gotten better at being productive on a computer in recent years, which is great.) I’m a very visual person, so notebooks really help me visualize my ideas, story structure, etc. It’s very helpful to be able to use arrows and diagrams and physically strike things through, and the tactility is really soothing to me. If I show people my notebooks or talk about them, I often get a response like “this is so organized”, which is sort of true, but I have to stress that it’s “organization for a disorganized mind”; I can’t misplace ideas or notes if it all goes into the same physical object, vs. electronic notes, which are much more, like “Did I say that in a voice memo? PM it to myself on Discord? Leave it in a desktop sticky note? Write it directly into the Google Doc? Who knows! It’s lost to time!”. It’s very much an ADHD management strategy.

It helps that I’m a very neophyte stationery hobbyist and appreciate any excuse I have to use my pens, but I also will go off at any opportunity about how helpful I find them for writing projects, which is why I decided to just make a post about it. Right now I mostly use them for (fan and original) fiction projects, but I used a notebook for a very similar purpose when I was working on my undergrad thesis, and I have a slightly different but equally necessary-to-me approach to notebooks I use at work.

My typical structure for a notebook that’s devoted to one project only looks like this:

I always leave the first couple pages blank so I can go back and retroactively index bujo-style. I don’t always actually do the index, because sometimes I get too lazy, but I like having those blank pages there to give me the option. I also usually put epigraphs/inspo quotes on the first page.

After that, there’s often (but not always, I’ll talk about it) a couple pages at the start where I’m frantically jotting down loose brainstorming ideas before they've coagulated into a story structure. Just, like, vomiting into the void.

Stemming out of that, I usually write out about like 5-10 pages of outline-style notes in chronological order, laying out all the main story beats and charting out the story trajectory. This will inevitably get revised and rewritten many times, but I find the process of writing these wide-angle synopses really useful for dislodging ideas, making connections re: thematic threads, etc. from my brain.

I’ll devote a couple pages after that to specific things like "sex scene brainstorming", "random scene ideas/minor details that don't have a clear place in the outline right now but I'll turn to for inspo later" [this is what I refer to as “bits” in one of the later photos], "page where I just outline the Motifs And Themes", "research notes", "to-do list", "stuff to check on a second pass", "things to put in the a/n and AO3 tags", etc.--the specifics vary with the story.

Then, I skip ahead to approx. halfway through the notebook and cordon off the rest of the pages to be “free writing” space, AKA writing of actual content rather than planning, with the expectation there will be no internal organization and I’ll transcribe to laptop as I go. Writing on paper feels less binding than typing something on a computer; it’s like a little secret kept with myself, and it doesn’t need to go anywhere or be seen by anyone if I decide I don’t like it. Setting aside pages in the back half of the notebook means that, as more things come up re: planning, I can go back and add those in the rest of the pages that were intentionally left blank. This is how I avoid (for the most part) having the whole thing be a jumbled mess where there’s no separation between the notes and the actual story writing; I learned this the hard way via the first notebook I’ll show you in a second. I’ve recently gotten really into using Muji sticky note tabs to label any pages/sections of particular import that don't want to have to refer back to in the index and would rather just flip to instantly.

I do use notebooks that aren’t specific to any one project, but those are much less organized and less worth sharing.

Before I look at more recent stuff, here are some selections from my notebook for the project that got me into writing longfic, my Golden Kamuy canon divergence AU (with apologies for the bad photos, my phone’s camera is trash). I worked on this from Sept 2018-July 2019. It was a learning experience in a lot of ways, and notebook utilization was one of those. I’ve always used notebooks for keeping track of writing projects, as I said earlier, but before this it was largely without much organization or structure; just total chaos. Having a physical notebook became really important for this project because it was a sprawling multichapter story with rotating POVs and a lot of historical research. I also learned a lot about what not to do with a notebook, personally, or at least things that don’t work so well (for me). This was a college ruled spiral-bound Decomposition Book, for the record.

By the time I bought a notebook for it I already had a (very basic) plot outline in mind, so I wasn’t doing that very initial ground-zero brainstorming in here; I was copying out of my phone’s notes app, basically, and then going from there. 

This is one of the first pages in this notebook; I wanted to visualize the relationship web between the four central characters in the story in terms of how they feel about one another. The two colours correspond to the POV characters (Sugimoto in orange, Ogata in pink), and I used this colour-coding throughout the notebook with highlighters, etc. to keep track of information that was more relevant to one character than the other. Tsurumi and Yuusaku aren’t POV characters, but they’re prominent in the story and their presence impacts the central relationship between Sugimoto and Ogata, and it was helpful to me to map out the emotional ecosystem, as it were.

(There are coffee stains all over this, because I wrote the vast majority of the story in coffee shops because I didn’t want to be around my roommates, lol. This is part of why I never do fiction writing in notebooks that are too nice, I get neurotic about needing to keep them tidy. I can’t use ones that are too shit though, either, so it’s a bit of a narrow window. I’ll talk more about brands and paper quality etc. later.)

As you can see, this is the first page of many I set aside specifically for jotting down different pieces of historical information relevant to my story. It’s about fictional characters who are members of an army division that existed in real life, and both the canon and my fic involve a high level of attention to detail with regards to which divisions were present for which battles, etc., as well as general historical details specific to the Russo-Japanese War setting--what did people eat in the trenches? What did they do to fill time? How did they get through the winter? What did third party observers have to say about the conditions? What were the specs of their weaponry (particularly important because one of the POV characters is a sniper and gun nut)? I did a lot of reading (and watching of antique gun collector Youtube videos... the things I do for love, eh), and it came in handy so many times, because it turns out it’s much easier to write trench warfare slice of life if you have factual details to pull from when you don’t know what to do with a scene! Imagine that!

This is the first of three “grid outlines” I made; this is a way I sometimes like to visualize a story outline all on one page, with the columns representing chapters and the squares within the columns representing sections/scenes within the chapters. As you can see, early on I was hoping to get this done in five or even FOUR chapters (whatmakesyouhaha.mp3), with POV switches happening internally within the chapters. This proved to be unwieldy for many reasons, so I revised the outline:

Here I’d come to terms with the fact this story was going to have a lot more chapters than I’d planned, and I rearranged things so that it would happen in ten, with each chapter belonging to only one POV character. This also needed revising later, and in the end the story looked a bit more like this (though it did in fact end up being twelve chapters, but only because Chapter Ten was like, 12k, and needed to be split in two chunks):

I must have remembered to bring my fineliners to the coffee shop this time, lol, because as you can see it’s properly colour-coded this time. This outline was made when I was already four posted chapters into the fic, which hopefully gives you a sense of the way in which I am sort of a planner and a pantser; I can’t get into a longer project without an outline, but the outline inevitably changes many times throughout writing and I often end up with a finished product that looks pretty different from what I was intending. My creative M.O. as always is Do The Maximum! Amount! Of! Work! Possible!

This is what a “free writing” page looks like, for me. In this notebook I didn’t set aside any specific spaces for free writing so it’s strewn throughout the notebook in a really disorganized way and I was constantly flipping through looking for bits I’d written and forgotten to transcribe, and I decided to be more organized in future as a result of that. If something’s crossed through, that means I transcribed it. As you can see, they’re often small sections, sometimes just a coupled decontextualized sentences. About 3/4 of what I write in a notebook makes it into the story, I’d say; some of it never goes anywhere, and that’s OK. I have less of an issue killing my darlings if they never make it off the paper page.

A very brief, top-down chapter outline, where the goal was not to get too bogged down in details and just to visualize the beats and pin down what they’re trying to accomplish. Chapters for this fic typically ran about 6k, and five or six scenes per chapter was pretty common, so the average scene length was about 1-1.25k words/scene. IDK why I called it storyboarding when I didn’t make drawings. (Margin numbers are to keep track of word count, since I was using a daily word count tracker while writing this.)

This page was, as titled, for keeping track of the various balls in the air when I was about 2/3-3/4 of the way through the story and really feeling the pressure with regards to tying up the various loose ends. This was... a struggle. I hadn’t ever written anything longish (this fic ended up just under 70k) that had an action plot before, let alone a canon divergence scenario where I had to engage with and explain away various canon plot elements so I could maintain the audience’s suspension of disbelief.

Now, I mentioned earlier that I learned various “things not to do” with my notebooks while working on that project. One of those lessons I learned is to be more realistic when assessing how big a project is likely to get, not least because I RAN OUT OF PAGES around the chapter 9-10 mark. In my defense though, that’s because I’d never written anything even half this long! But I know better now, and try not to be in denial. Finishing the notebook early was a way bigger problem than I’d anticipated, and was part of the reason the last few chapters took several grueling months to finish. The issue was that I needed to be able to use a notebook to maintain my workflow--attempting to do it only on a computer was dismal--but it seemed silly to start a notebook of a similar size to the one I’d finished (80pg, approximately B5 dimensions) when there was no way it would need that much space, especially since the reference pages, like the historical notes, didn’t need to be transcribed over. I was also pretty broke at the time and didn’t want to spend money unnecessarily, lol. I tried to get by using a Moleskine Cahier for a month or so because I had one lying around, but it was horrid; it was too small to be used comfortably, it wasn’t spiral-bound so it wouldn’t lay flat, the ghosting is terrible and I hate the way Moleskine paper feels, etc. Eventually I caved and went to Muji and bought a 30ish page A5 with closer to lay-flat binding, and I finished the story in there. I would take a comparative pic for you of the relative notebook sizes and include some of the scene staging diagrams, etc. I put in there, but I can’t find it :(

So I learned that specs really do matter, and it’s okay to be picky if the pickiness is going to make the difference between actually using a notebook or not. Things that are important to me in my notebooks:

Ruling (gotta have ruling, I can suffer through grid but blank or dot is a no-go)

Size (I can’t use anything smaller than at least a medium-large notebook, I find it claustrophobic and get miserly about page space)

Binding (twin ring is my preference because it looks and feels better than a classic spiral but has the same comfort of use with regards to bending the pages back to suit workspace size and laying flat with ease)

Paper quality and colour (I don’t like anything too slippery/smooth or with too much visible ghosting, and I strongly prefer an off-white paper to bleached paper--part of why I don’t use Decomposition Books anymore, the paper is scratchy and it’s too damn bleached!)

Pagecount relative to size of project

Portability (in non-COVID times; anything bigger than a B5 wouldn’t fit in the satchel I used to bring to work at my old job), etc.

But everyone’s taste is different in this respect, and the only way to figure out what works for you is through trial and error, I’m afraid. I also suspect I’m more neurotic and particular about the sensory experience of using a notebook than most people are, but I yam what I yam.

Now to talk about the notebooks for my current projects, where I’ve refined my approach somewhat. I’ve included less photos for these because they’re ongoing WIPs I don’t want to spoil completely, but I’ve tried to include some outline-type stuff to give you an idea.

My big bang fic is in the very ugly twin ring notebook on the right; I got it at a dollar store by my house because I needed something to work in and didn’t want to wait for an online order, but it’s been very serviceable for my needs. The paper isn’t even bad. The bigger notebook (B5) is my Sangcheng fic.

I wanted something with a lot of pages for this, because I knew it was going to be a long story, and for some reason the fact it’s smaller than my usual preference doesn’t bug me (I think it’s an A5?); it just fits this story, somehow. I’m not sure exactly how many sheets are in here but I’d guess about 150.

Because this notebook has upwards of 100 sheets, I made a lot of use of sticky-note tabs to label high-priority pages. The colour coding of these doesn’t mean anything, it was just whichever ones I had at hand at any given moment. These are those tabs from Muji I mentioned, I’m really obsessed with them--the shape makes them so much less obtrusive and more practical than conventional squares/rectangles OR flag shapes, IME.

My big bang story is nonlinear, so, similarly to what I did with colour coding for the two POVs for my GK fic, this story has two main colours corresponding to whether a given section takes place in the “before” or the “after” portions of the timeline, with blue as “after”, yellow as “before”. This is what the most current version of the outline looks like in there:

If you squint, you can see the alphanumeric notes in the top right of each section entry; I gave them each a code like “A3″ or “B5″ corresponding to their position in the story sequence (so, it goes A1, B1, A2, B2, etc., through to B9 and then the epilogue). [Unintentional that this schema overlaps with notebook size labeling and so is kind of confusing in the context of this post.] At first I was just keeping track of the sections via the highlighted titles, but it got confusing because I’d write down “Wedding” or “Yiling” in my notes and then refer to the notes later like “but there are multiple marriages?? and multiple scenes in Yiling??”. Stuff gets struck through with a straight line if it’s been written in a more-or-less complete form and crossed out with a squiggly line if it’s been cut from the outline or made redundant.

As I said earlier, I started out all the initial brainstorming for my Sangcheng fic in its notebook, instead of brainstorming it in someone’s DMs/my notes app/a voice memo/etc. and then transcribing it into the notebook in a somewhat more organized fashion, which is how my stories usually start out. Because of this, the first five-ish pages are basically just stream of consciousness rambling where I was trying to jot down every disconnected thought I had about the story concept. I don’t have photos for that because it’s too spoilerific for later developments in the fic, but I can show you some of the stages the outlines went through, once I was able to corral those initial notes into a story structure:

All the chapters in this fic have their own highlighter colour, so when I started trying to make sense of my initial brainstorm notes I just went through and highlighted stuff in the colour of the chapter it would make the most sense for, and then transcribed things more-or-less in chronological order into the relevant chapter outline. I later ended up rewriting all the chapter outlines AGAIN to refine them and divide them internally by the individual scenes, which makes them a lot more legible and less wall-of-text-y. They look like this now, with about four sheets per chapter:

Because this fic is on the longer side, I have some pages that are just for keeping track of other story elements, like this, where I refer back to whatever the fuck the “themes” are supposed to be whenever I forget what this fic is about:

It’s all about the visionboarding... Anyway, that’s most of what I have to offer, since most of these two notebooks is Forbidden Content.

With regards to brands/supplies, I really like this Kokuyo Campus Wide notebook that I’m writing Sangcheng in, it’s pretty perfect for me. I also like the B5 Muji twin rings, but those only come in 30 sheets, so I wouldn’t use it for anything above a ~20k project. The B5 Maruman Spiral Note 6.5mm ruled/80 sheet is another good one, though I wish it was twin ring instead of spiral. As you can tell, I like Japanese stationery brands because it’s easier to find decent paper quality and minimalist design without shelling out $$ than it is with American/European brands, at least IME. I like Rollbahns too. But honestly, I can usually find pretty serviceable random notebooks that aren’t brand-name from Asian dollar stores; it’s really not something where you need to shell out tons of money.

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[sarahlevys]

hi! very curious how co-writing a fic works? especially something as long form as your bachelor fic? do you guys take turns with certain chapters? certain scenes? brainstorm together? how do you make sure it sounds cohesive? any insight on the process would be super interesting.

thank you so much for reaching out, we're glad to know you're enjoying bachelor fic! ❤️ @anniemurphys and i felt it would be appropriate to co-write this response. 

our co-writing process absolutely begins with brainstorming together. we do a lot of talking through the concept to make sure we're both excited and into the idea. 

no matter the length of the fic (one-shot or multiple chapters), we outline a general skeleton/outline of the idea first in order to ensure that we know the arc of the story and what we want the characters to accomplish. this process usually begins with someone throwing out an idea (“what if twyla and alexis were on the bachelor together;” “hey have you heard ariana’s christmas album;” “okay, so about this one scene in season 5”) and then devolves into excited yelling (“OH MY GOD WHAT IF - ”; “twyla’s definitely going to do X”), and we gather all those excited thoughts and then fill in the blanks with any missing details/plot points to complete the outline.

from there, we usually then plan how we'll divide and conquer. singsongsung typically writes alexis and i (doingthemost) write twyla, so we determine if we're going to alternate chapters by POV like we did in our holiday gfs fic, by sections within the one-shot like we did in this alexis-gets-twy-a-ghost-for-christmas fic, or by sections within a chapter like in bachelor fic. if we're going to do multiple POVs in one chapter, we'll figure out if we're going to do a strict order (like in bachelor fic), or if it'll be seemingly-random (like in a WIP we have). 

from there, depending on the complexity or length of the fic, we may do additional outlining of scenes/sections so that the other person can write parts that come later without the previous sections needing to be already written.

then we start writing – sometimes in chronological order, but sometimes a little more random, based on what strikes us. we read what the other wrote, give feedback/suggestions/comments/etc, beta each other's writing, then give the whole chapter/fic a once-over to make sure it works together.  

if we're struggling with a section, phrasing, or even an ending, we may leave notes in [brackets] for the other to help with, although we also use brackets for ourselves, so we can come back and fill things in later. but part of the fun of having a co-writer is to give them things that you don't want to deal with anymore. 🙃 (such as the ending of this post, which justine very rudely left to me. - ria)

regarding keeping it cohesive, this isn’t something we think about all that much, to be perfectly honest. some co-writing relationships just really ‘click’ and we’re lucky to have one of those, but there’s also something to be said for how you adopt your friends’ linguistic habits. when one of us starts a fic and the other continues it, it’s decently likely that the second writer will sort of blend into the first writer’s style/vibe, if that makes sense? also, for us a lot of the time, it’s moreso that we’re trying to stay true to a certain tone in a fic. 

one last thing that’s important for us in terms of cohesion is that we have very similar and closely-aligned understandings of the characters we’re writing. we never end up saying to each other, “wow, twyla would never do that” or “alexis wouldn’t say that.” we’re pretty much only ever suggesting tiny tweaks, like, “i think twyla/alexis is a little more upset here.” we’d say it’s important to (a) love your co-writer’s writing and (b) trust their judgment/decisions/sense of the characters! 

hopefully this answers your questions and thanks for reading our fics! we promise that we are nice if you ever wanna chat about twylexis feelings with us!

[moltre-s]

hey, thank you for your previous rec post about chinese media! do u by any chance have any recs for stuff about older chinese history, like the dynasties etc?

hi!! sorry it took so long for me to respond! I had a whole long reply written out and accidentally deleted it all.. so I moped around for a bit before coming back and rewriting it lol

unfortunately, I myself haven’t watched/read anything about older Chinese history, but in class a couple of months ago we learned about the dynasties so I’ve actually been looking for things too! I’ll share some of the stuff I’m interested in watching/reading. sorry I can’t be more helpful, but hopefully something on here catches your eye :)

TV Shows: 1. The Qin Alliance. the second series based on novels by Sun Haohui. it’s a romanticisation (from the Qin) of the events of the Warring States period. 2. King’s War. a drama about the events that took place between the Qin dynasty collapse and the rise of the Han dynasty. 3. Nirvana in Fire. an extremely popular drama based in the 6th century during the feud between the Northern Wei and Southern Liang dynasties. it follows the son of the Liang general and depicts the political drama of the dynasties.

Books: 1. Peony in Love by Lisa See. a true story based on the first book known to be written and published by women. very cool!! describes the difficult love lives on women in 17th century China. Lisa See also wrote one of my favourite books, Snowflower and the Secret Fan. 2. Dream of the Red Chamber by Cao Xueqin. a (likely semi-autobiographical) Chinese literary classic written in the Qing dynasty. it’s considered to be one of (if not the) greatest Chinese novels. it an episodic novel following the fall of an aristocratic family and focuses on the family’s heir. 3. The Book and the Sword by Jin Yong. describes the legend of Emperor Qianlong and a secret society’s aims to overthrow the Qing dynasty and revive the Han. 4. The Moon in the Palace by Weina Dai Randel. depicts the rise of Mei from her role as a concubine to Empress Wu Zetian who was in power from 660-705.

I’m working on making a list of TV shows/movies/books I have watched/read along with synopses and how much I liked them. still trying to figure out how to format it, but I’ll post it when it’s done!

you gave me an idea - maybe I should make a timeline thing of different movies/shows and put them in chronological order? then people could go through them in the order in which they would have happened, or they can pick and choose certain eras to watch? I think I’ll start working on that and hopefully people would be interested!

[gins-potter]

how do you do your writing process? like do you have a timeline/ outline done, or just ideas jotted down? just in general how do you write?

Thanks for this ask, anon, because it was kind of interesting to actually look at how my writing process works.  And this is probably going to get long because my writing style changes depending on what I write.

Drabbles, ficlets, headcanons

Anything shorter than 1k I usually just sit down and write.  No planning, barely any thinking, I’ll just open a word document, stare at the request or prompt until inspo strikes and then I’ll write, usually in one sitting.  Then I leave it for a while, anywhere between 30 mins and a day, and then go back and edit.  I’m a terrible editor and I don’t have a beta so editing consists of me reading it through a couple times and send saying fuck it and posting.

One-shots

Slightly more effort goes into planning a one shot, just because it’s longer and I suck at doing sustained pieces of writing.  The writing one shot process usually starts with a vague dot point plan of any ideas I have.  I then leave that anywhere between 1 day to six months (occasionally several years) before coming back and filling in the dot point plan with the major plot points.  And then I use that plan to write it.  Same editing process, read it through a few times, fix the spelling and grammar errors, have an existential crisis about whether people will like it, occasionally re-write a section if i think it’s not working, and then post and pray people will read it and like it.

Long form pieces (aka. my rewrites)

My writing process for my rewrites has changed quite a bit over time because I have gotten older and therefore (hopefully) smarter.  I’ll talk about winx because that’s my better known rewrite.

Volume 1 I basically had no plan.  I think I wrote down a few details I wanted to include but in general I came into each episode/chapter with only a vague idea of what i was doing, and wrote lore basically flying by the seat of my pants.  Which kind of fucked me over when it came to editing because of course over the course of the 2 years it took me to write volume 1, ideas I’d had about lore had changed, characters had changed and had depth added to them, and plot points didn’t quite always work because I hadn’t planned them out as well as I could have.  I still love volume 1 but it was definitely a learning experience.

One of the first things I did after finishing editing volume 1 was put together a One Note notebook on my rewrite ‘verse.  This notebook has basically everything to do with my rewrite.  It has profiles on all the main characters (basically all the girls and guys) with their physical characteristics, family history, random headcanons on them, i have a list of almost every background character ever mentioned and who they are because i have a bad tendency of forgetting what i named a character, reusing names, or using names that are very similar to other names.  This notebook also has pages on every realm or planet ever mentioned, and their cores, planning notes for each of the transformations, notes for future volumes, literally everything, and it’s probably one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Which kind of leads into how I planned for volume 2.  Namely that I actually did a plan.  Firstly I looked at the season as a whole to see if there were any timeline issues I could fix by changing the order of episodes (which it turned out there were).  Then I watched every episode and wrote a detailed plan of what I planned to change in each scene, and whats scenes I thought I would add in and where, what scenes I would take out and all that jazz.  And finally there were one or two scenes that I could really clearly picture so I just went ahead and wrote them.  Usually I try to write chronologically but this time I went screw it and if I had a really clear image of what I wanted a scene to look like I just wrote it and marked in my notes where it would go.  Now when I start a chapter, I have a table of the 4kids script, then the RAI script, and my episode notes all side by side and it’s so much better.  And usually while I’m writing I have the 4kids ep playing alongside so I can get a feel for the beats of the dialogue and the action that goes along with the script.

So yeah, that’s basically my writing process for the main types of writing that I do.  I hope that was interesting and not at all boring to read lmao.

[spnfanficpond]

December 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap - Structuring Longer Plots

We had a great time chatting with @jhoomwrites​, today! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your wisdom and experience!

Our chat was all about structuring longer plots, filler vs plot, and the different types of structures that are out there. (Mostly, we talked about how we don’t always have a structure in mind when we’re writing, and how we deal with it when a story breaks apart the structure we’d so carefully constructed.) A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

For those who don’t know her, Ashley is an avid writer, not just of fan fiction. She’s popular on Tumblr and AO3 for Destiel stories of all lengths, from little emoji ficlets she bangs out from requests (where followers send her a short string of emojis and she writes a story using them all) up to epic stories. She’s currently working on a hockey fan fiction that was her NaNoWriMo project, but with 120 SPN works on AO3, we’ve got plenty to read while she’s distracted with her hockey boys! (I’ve convinced her to be a member of the Pond, so hopefully we’ll see her around a lot in the future!)

We started off talking about how long our fics can get ( @katehuntington​ won with her Sullivan Series, which is currently at 570k), and whether we’re planners or pansters or a mix. Kate and Ashley are both kind of mixed, while @mrswhozeewhatsis​ has never successfully outlined a story, yet. 

Q: Was My Liege Lord (her longest at around 80k) planned or pansted?

Ashley: It was both. I had planned out some things, but then I got new ideas as I went that I wanted to explore and it padded out the length. I had a whole fic worth of plans, but just the amount of time in their lives I ended up covering necessitated adding things. Kate: I do that too. I stick to the plan, but I add soooooo much stuff along the way.

Q: When you write, and plan out a story, do you use a particular structure?

Ashley: I haven't written out a plan for a fic in some time, but I was really consistent with the style I used for a while. I would do a chart with the main plot points to the left, and then details (excerpt of dialogues, notes about specific scenes, etc) to the right. Here’s an example:

Ashley: It helps me when I get ideas later, I can find parts in the story by looking to the left and then add notes. It's my favorite way to plan out a story, especially if I know it will be multiple chapters and if I might not be starting it any time soon. This is much nicer than the outline for the story I'm working on now, which is just a list of events in chronological order (and another list of "things i could add but i don't know where this goes"). I wrote the outline about a day before I started so I didn't need as much structure.

Q: Having a plan helps, then?

Ashley: I didn't used to plan, but then I started a multi-chapter fic and realized...... I don't have an ending. So, I like to plan that out to make sure I have an actual beginning, middle, and end. Michelle: When I start, I have an idea and an ending. That’s it. All my stories have the same ending, though: And then they kissed and lived happily ever after!

Kate: It does give freedom, not having a detailed outline.

Ashley: That is true, it does make me sad when I get somewhere in the outline and there's something I'd liked, that I'd wanted to include, but it doesn't work anymore and I have to scrap it. Gotta balance sticking to the outline vs adapting to how the tone/characters have developed.

Q: Is your planning method something you learned, or something you developed? And do you use the same structure for all of your stories?

Ashley: Something I developed. I haven't had any real training or instruction in writing. I was struggling with longer fics being unorganized and not coming together at the end, so I needed something for myself. I like making charts, so I figured that was a good way to start! lol It's not something I do as much, anymore. It was a great tool when I started doing it, and I did it for years... but possibly because I've gained more writing experience with longer stories, I don't need to do it anymore. I start a fic with a general idea, I figure out where that idea is going, and start writing. I do more of a mental checklist now. Of course, for original stories, things I hope to one day publish, I will still outline.

Q: Do parts of your structure have names? A quick Google search on how to structure novels brought back about a lot of different methods for structuring a novel, all with different numbers of steps. Each step had a general idea, like rising action, climax, falling action, etc. I guess I mean, what parts of a story do you feel need to be there for it to work? What are the parts of your structure?

Ashley: Having never paid particular attention in my English classes, I would be hard pressed to put names on different parts of my story structure. I view it as beginning (set up, putting things in place), middle (the actual story more or less, all of the action), and ending (wrapping things up, resolution).

Q: When you half wing it and the story is coming along, and then you hit a plot hole, how do you handle that? 

Ashley: Well uh... **points vaguely towards abandoned WIPs** it can be rough. I do have some people I work with in terms of brainstorming. And if I get stuck with a fic I'm committed to, that I'm enjoying writing, then I talk it through with them. Sometimes, those issues are coming up--not because the story wasn't outlined--but more because I've just lost that spark of interest that I had before, and it's time to move on, anyway.

Q: There was a question submitted to the Pond by @kittenofdoomage​ about filler vs. plot.

Ashley: I think that's a real issue I face, filler vs plot. For some stories, I feel like I write a chapter and then can't really see what it adds to the story except maybe giving more characterization. My Liege Lord, I can think of some examples... and sometimes those things are cool, they're fun little ideas to explore and that's the only universe you could do it in, so you do it maybe for your own sake more than the story's. I think there's also a difference between reader and writer perceptions of what's filler. For my current project, there are scenes I wanted to include because I felt they were necessary to the plot, but I got the impression from people I'd polled that they would not be interested in those scenes (basically it's a romance and I was going to include things that were not directly related to the romance aspect and they said if it was more than a few paragraphs or so they didn't care). Michelle: I struggled with that with The Babysitter. Almost half of that fic is flashbacks to when the brothers were growing up and how their relationship with the reader developed. I considered cutting them all, but the fic felt thin. Sometimes, I'd pop a flashback chapter in there just to slow down the action in the present a bit, if you know what I mean. Like, chapter X is the night before the big battle, and chapter Y is the big battle, but it felt rushed to just go from X to Y, so I stuck D in between them. Ashley: Yeah, pacing is important, so the "filler" can help regulate that. It might also depend on if you view stories as about the plot or about the characters. If you view it as plot, then yes, you don't want that non-plot filler. If you view it as characters, then the filler doesn't necessarily move the story, but it adds depth and dimension to the characters and makes you appreciate them more. (I mean... I love the characters so much, I'd watch an episode of them just doing chores around the bunker...no plot, just them.) Kate: I just write what I feel like is right. Plus, I’m a sucker for a slow burn myself, so I’m not scared to let the readers wait.  I like to use fillers as a stairway to the big reveal or moment. What I love even more is to put a lot of foreshadowing in there, so when they read it the second time, they go: oh! Rhi: The thing is that I've found is that filler serves a lot of purposes. As mentioned above it's great for dropping a bit of foreshadowing. It's also great for expanding your background and making your characters more than two dimensional. It also gives your readers a breather. Especially if it's a heavy plot. I often find myself rambling in filler, which is where rereading is key. With longer stories, I have a brief outline of what I want. Sometimes I'll write the major points first, the ending etc then follow up with the filler. On occasion, your filler will end up imploding your plans but that's cool. That's when you either roll with it or take a break and neither of those are bad choices. It depends on the individual.

Q: (In one of the articles linked below) Peter Behrens mentioned a novel idea. He basically said he doesn’t worry about structure until the revision stage. He writes what he wants to, and then when he’s revising, he tweaks the story to fit whatever structure it fits to best.

Ashley: I do like that, and that's something that @unforth-ninawaters​ has mentioned. We're working on shorter stories that would need to be under 7.5k and I said I don't know if I could hit that. She said to write the whole story, even if it's longer, and then have someone edit it with an eye to shorten it, if necessary, and you'll probably end up with a tighter story that way. So, basically, that's how I view writing things, now. I write what I want to write for the story, and if it needs to go, it'll disappear later in the editing process. But what if it does belong? Well, then it's there, already. And yes on slow burns... for fic, it's a staple, and for WIPs, it's part of the lure, the draw in, as a reader--knowing that maybe they will maybe they won't hook up this week.

To close out the chat, we talked about the story structures listed in the following two links:

How to find your novel’s structure - This article discusses the traditional 5-stage plot structure (exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and resolution) and the 3-act structure (setup, confrontation, resolution), as well as some other points, like how characterization can affect structure.

Writing Cooperative -  Use a story structure to make writing your novel a lot easier - This article lists several structures, and includes links to read more about each one and their strengths and weaknesses. Different stories might do better under different structures, too. A romance novel wouldn’t necessarily need the 12 steps in The Hero’s Journey.

These links are definitely worth checking out if you have any fears or concerns about your story’s structure!

Next month we’re going to talk about Real People Fiction! We’re still looking for a guest speaker, so if anyone is interested, send a message to @mrswhozeewhatsis​!! Date and time to be announced!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to November’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re looking for a guest speaker for January to talk about RPF! If you know of an RPF writer that you’d like to hear from, let us know!!

[theday]

mx in sg: the experience

FHJGDGHSHGFGGHD as usual starting off with the keyboard smash anyway! ill be talking about my experience seeing mx live yesterday (3/3) second part is abt when mx were on stage but its quite dry bc i dont remember much

ill be going in chronological order so [jooheon voice] lets get it

i was gonna meet my friend (karissa) at 3:30 because we were going to meet the person selling us our tickets at 4pm but that got delayed until like 5pm which was fine though

anyway i met her and we started queueing because although official queuing was supposed to start at 6pm they pushed it forward to 3pm (which was unfortunate for those who were busy and couldnt come until much later - the organizer never released an official statement saying the queuing started earlier) 

so as soon as karissa and i arrived at like. the place (near the venue) we got lost for about a whole 5 minutes lmao so i texted james asking him where the hell . they were and we made it and joined the queue immediately (we were the last few people of the second batch) 

we just sat there and. collected freebies and our banners (for the fan events) while we waited for the seller to come give us our tickets 

when they came i was like . fucking screaming because one of the seller was someone i knew from primary school (4 years ago) and i was likeudghdgghdhsh??????? that was the highlight of the daydhfhs

after we bought the tickets and shit we were slightly concerned they wouldnt work lmao but they did god bless

while we waited for the doors to open and stuff a group of people did dance covers of mx songs and later other groups too everyone was cheering for them which was nice fgfghdgh

the hype died down and we just waited quietly until it hit 6pm and i started listening to the day6 stream LMAO but after 4 songs i had to stop because suddenly everyone was standing up?? 

for nothing though because we sat down like 30 minutes later at around 7? 7:30? everyone stood up again and this time people were given wrist tag things u kno.. ya there were three (?) kinds i think gold for those who held a superfan ticket, pink for general admission and some other colour for those who got tickets for free and could sit on chairs dhdghs 

it was a free standing event in an outdoor space so superfan ticket holders got to stand closer to the stage? and those with general admission had to stand behind us and it was separated by a barricade 

we entered at like 8pm because we were the second batch (there was a third batch behind us) and it was already filled?? not exactly but from where we were standing we couldn’t really see the stage 

in the end we were in the middle which wasnt exactly the best but its definitely better than those standing all the way at the back rip 

i think at like 7:45 they started playing the music videos and everyone was shouting the lyrics it was cute i loved it but my throat told me to die after i yelled for like all of their mvsjhdgdghd 

also when all in played u bet my ass i jumped up and downdhg

also water wasnt allowed inside which i think is normal so i chugged mine down as fast as i could before entering (i had a little left and the lady let me in with it thanks queen) (i drank it all before they even came on stage)

the hype was real though and it was great 

when it hit 8:30pm the introduction video started and suddenly i was getting pushed forward and wow . dont go if ur not a fan of people invading your personal bubble. i wish fans had more sense to Not push around and stuff but what can we do rip 

other than that when they came out oh gOD when they came out i was likebfhgddgs??!?!??!?! i had to stand on my tip toes to see them

they started with beautiful and i was liek. dissociating i jsut sang along and shit it was amazing?????? 

the first person i saw was kihyun and then minhyuk?? i dont remember who else i saw but iw ss losing my fucking mind over how good everyone looked

anyway after that was um.............. fuck. .... i dont know..........

IFMFHGHSGF IM CRYING MY BRAIN TOLD ME TO DIE

white love maybe? i think they did like an introduction of themselves ??

anyway ill figure the songs out later they started playing games i think or was that another time im bad at this clearly 

ask james for the details of the songs i dont remember shit from that i just remember singing along to the songs badly and moving my arm back and forthhfgsgh 

also team work makes the dream work because karissa was recording and i helped her to zoom in and ensure they looked human with the brightness and stuff fhjdgsgh 

but !! everyone did the fanchants really well it was so heartworming 

also during white love they made us do that one part u know the one and it was awesome!!!!! during white sugar they threw m&m’s and i got to get a good look at their faces without having to look at the screen!! 

honestly was good too god im so happie 

hm. they did a mon-story time and showed us pics from previous eras (trespass > i dnt remmeber fuck > beautiful world tour > mxray > first win) ?? might be wrong dghdgs and they talked about stuff that happened i blanked out though so i dont know what they said 

also when they flashed the first win part they started throwing hands @ each other usual mx shit dhjgsgd

we chanted monsta x and they chanted monbebe back at us :-( i love them

i think changkyun said he doesnt wnat to do another season of mxray LMAODHFGHHGS fucking loser 

the translator made me laugh he was super monotone fhgdghfsh

then they played mon-ccaso dghghfsh and drew what they wanted to eat with singaporean mbb!!

there was a bug in front of wonho and he got !!!! fhdgh cute .

shownu: ????? what was it ?? a drink it looked like a cocktail and kihyun was like “non alcoholic” dghffsgs

wonho: ice cream!!! hes so cute his drawing was so cute also he wrote monbebe before they announced the game his handwriting is so pretty tf

minhyuk: ramyeon lmao (in his words: traditional korean noodles) 

kihyun: uh oH HE DREW A CRABFGHGSHS and said chili and pepper crab!!!

hyungwon: he drew a shrimpfhggdgs fucking . it was so cute

jooheon: mandu!! or dumplings :D

changkyun: water. JHDHGDGSG KING HONESTLY IW AS LIKE JUMPING UP AND DOWN IN EXCITEMENT!! love me a water stan 

anyway they talked about what they drew and when it came to minhyuk’s turn he was like guess and everyone just shit on him DHJDHSHG 

some examples: “hair” Gghdhg and some fans (including me) screamed cucumberhjfghgs let this man live 

minhyuk also tried to make fun of jooheons drawing but it failed bc none of us understood his joke

so they made us vote by screaming and they each stood up while holding their sketchbooks and we’d scream

winner was changkyun (i yelled my heart out and jumped bitch)

FHGSGG W INNER HAD TO DO AEGYO THOUGHDG played urself

they did oppaya and i think there are fancams somewhere

then they made wonho do it hhdggs best 1 minute of my life

after that was uhh??????? brain machine broke i dont know im not even going in order anymore

they either did from zero first or the fan videos were shown first

if so the fan videos were of fans talking about how much they love/appreciate mx and it was sweet after that we raised our banners for the fan vid

and then the CAKE came for wonho and we sang happy birthday to wonho (kihyun asked us to sing once too at the start hjdghgsg we did that in english this time it was in korean) 

also funny hfgdhgs thing... they talked in korean and a lot of people replied in korean so they got shockedhfgh FUCJ DAY6 ok safe im listening now

i think they (minhyuk?) asked who thought/if he was handsome and got rly happie when we said yea

after him someone asked too LOLJHDGSG

back 2 whatever fdsh um oh yeah the cake was done to look like ramyeon in a pot :D ill add a link

wonho cut himself with the knife D-: babie 

he kept wanting to eat it though so hopefully he liked it 

maybe after that they did from zero???? ufhffghsgghdg idk

after that was hero!!!!!!! god we were all so pumped 

shine forever next 

and then they stopped to take a break i thinkfhgshgd 

at some point they asked fans (a jooheon stan and a wonho one) what songs they liked :-D the jooheon one said beautiful and the other said ill be there if im not wrong

they also made the rappers sing bits from some songs hfgsg i dont remember which songs tho hdhs

changkyun tried his besthjdg

they did their ending ment and went to dramarama!! 

after that it was silent for like 5 minutes max as we chanted mx and for encore

they came out and did ill be there (?) (first verse to chorus) and talked again before doing 5:14! 

they were dressed in casual tshirts which was a relief hjghgdh because it was reallly fuckng hot hdh changkyun mentioned the weather too sorry dude thats life

they waved at fans and played amongst themselves kihyun dumped water on jooheon LMAO i got a clear view of that

stay hydrated !

they just kept dumping water on each other i love a family :-D

and then they said bye and left

jooheon kept going byEE though dhgdhs hes so cute :-( 

ok heres what i thought abt the monstas themselves

kihyun looked especially good with that tie by the way 

jesus i got to see wonho with dark hair i truly. died

ALSO SHOWNU LOOKS SO HANDSOME IRL!!!! MY WIG WAS SNATCHED!!!!!!!!!!!

hyungwon was rly cute too when he interacted with the fans :-(

there was one time wonho smiled and it was caught on the screen i . felt my heart burst in that moment

alsowwhen minhyuk took center position for their choreos he has this ?? charisma ??? its amazong like the one smirk/grin he does u know that? yeah i saw it in beautoful and died

joohoen and changkyun also did their best hyping mbbs up by yelling to sing along and stuff ihdjgf i love them

this is just mx loving hours 

also kihyun did the DHDHHSH EYE SMILE!!! HE DID IT SO MANY TIMES HE WAS SO HAPPIE I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!

i didnt get to see jooheon much but he was so playful with minhyuk it was so cute!!!!!!! 

they all look so good and sound even better live!!! kihyuns adlibs god help me. 

i love them so much. i really do fhhdghghs im happy i went no more regrets and no more telling myself i didnt have a blast because i!!!! i loved every second of it even when i got someones hair stuck to my arm LMAO 

after it ended we immediately left for the exit andggdghs WOW standing up i was fine but moving?? moving was HELL my legs hurt so bad

ok so we got home and thats that but like.... heres where my self reflection comes in

so you dont have to read this part

i think. the reason i dont remember much is because.. i dont want to? like. at some point i got a clear view of wonho in the Flesh and i was thinkng about how i was really seeing them? for real????? and i got. really sad i think?? 

so to prevent myself from getting sad i probably tried to forget? everything?? theres also my bad memory of course but i cant even remember their faces i feel like its because im trying to forget or some deep shit 

anyway i think im also makig myself not be happy??? this is phrased v bad but its like im trying to kill the fun and only think abt the negatives of the whole event

which wasnt even much so its like. my minds blankfhjfhd

talking about it here helps though like i get to. share and actually talk about what happened so yeah i can say that i had fun even though i couldnt see them i had a blast singing along it was awesome

the only bad part was how i didnt like watching from the screens because it felt like i wasnt seeing them live?? ooMGHDDS DAY6 ARE DOING BETTTER BTTER

tldr; im not that upset over it now thank god and i can proudly say i had fun and although i cant remember much it was a great experience

thank you for coming to my tedtalk if you did <3

[blogstoread]

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How to Write an Academic Literature Review

One of the most intimidating tasks that new college students may face is their first literature review. Although the full literature review process has been traditionally reserved for graduate students (Masters/PhD.), it is becoming more common for college instructors and professors to incorporate the literature review into the undergraduate curriculum.

The first time I encountered the dreaded “lit. review” I was in the first semester of my Master’s degree program at the University of Nebraska. I, like many of you, had written plenty of short research papers during my undergraduate career, but had never even heard of a literature review. When I approached the professor she pointed me in the direction of a few resources and set me loose. This article is a culmination of that research.

I heard that many PhDs hire writing services to custom write their papers, but if you’re not one of them this article is for you. Hopefully in writing this article I can help save you a little time and a lot of stress by providing you with a quick overview of the literature review process, one of the common mistakes that novice researchers make on their first literature review, and a quick list of tips for surviving your first literature review.

The basics

While literature reviews and traditional “research” papers are different on many levels, the fundamentals of each are the same. Think back to the very first research paper you ever wrote. Chances are pretty good that one of the first things you learned about composition and research is that every paper needs to have three things:

Introduction

Body

Conclusion

Your literature review shares these same fundamental characteristics. Just as in your first research paper your literature review will need to have a solid introduction. This introduction serves the same purpose, to pull your reader into your literature review and hold their attention. Generally it is in this section of the literature review that you establish why your topic is relevant. Your lit. review will also have a body. The body is composed of the “meat” of your literature review. In the body you begin to weave your sources in. It is here that you establish what has been done in your field of study. This brings us to our first common mistake that most first timers make, organization.

Check your organizational pattern

One of the most common mistakes that novice researcher’s make with their first literature review is not understanding the proper way to organize the literature review. This is not your fault! Traditionally, in composition, we have been taught to group our sources by topic or in alphabetical order. When it comes time to write the literature review often students will simply list their sources in order and briefly describe what each source is about. By doing this you are actually creating an annotated bibliography!

Literature reviews lie in the synthesis, not in the summary!

What this means is that rather than simply summarizing what each researcher has said or done, you must weave their research in with the existing research of others. Your goal in doing this is to provide the whole picture for what has been done over your particular topic. There are many organizational patterns that you can use to accomplish this. Here is a quick list of the 8 most common organizational patterns used in literature reviews:

Chronological

Cause and Effect

Compare and Contrast

Problem-Cause-Solution

Topical

General to Specific

Psychological

But which pattern do you use? Choosing the right pattern for you will depend on the types of sources you include, and the type of research study that you are planning on conducting.

Rationale Section

After you have completed your synthesis of the previous research you need to move on to the next main section of your literature review, the rationale. The rationale section functions much in the same way as the conclusion of a traditional research paper. In the rationale you provide your reader with the “so what” of your study. Establishing previous research is great, but your reader still needs to know why you pulled together all of this research. In the rationale section of your literature review you will accomplish the “so what” by providing your reader with your hypotheses or research questions. A hypothesis is an “if” “then” statement that serves to show what relationship you believe exists between your variables. A research question, on the other hand, is a specific question the researcher asks about the topic. Deciding which to use will again be dependent on the type of research study that you are conducting.

Quick Tips

Here is a quick list of tips that can help you survive your first literature review:

Use Direct Quotes Sparingly

Synthesize, Not Summarize!

Be Careful When Paraphrasing

Revise Revise Revise!

[rockrevoltmagazine]

INTERVIEW: GREG UPCHURCH of THREE DOORS DOWN

Greg Upchurch is best known as the drummer for multi-platinum heavyweights 3 Doors Down for the past decade and a half. Prior to that he had a stint with Puddle of Mudd during their mega-successful debut album, Come Clean, days as well as hitting the road with the legendary Chris Cornell and getting his start with alternative pioneers Eleven. RockRevolt had a chance to chat with Greg about his past escapades as well as how he’s keeping busy during the pandemic which includes the release of his first solo single “Skin to Skin” in which Greg plays all the instruments and lays down the vocals as well.

RockRevolt: I appreciate you taking the time today to speak with RockRevolt Magazine.  Hopefully you’re doing well with everything that’s going on in the world today. 

Greg Upchurch: Well I’m safe and my family is healthy. That’s about all I can ask for at this time.

Exactly. Same sentiment here. I think it really makes you appreciate the important things in life, the real important things.

Obviously, a lot of jobs are being affected and things like that. It’s one thing to think about yourself, it’s another thing to think about your loved ones being sick. That’s the way I feel. It’s like if I am sick so be it, but if it’s my wife or my son or my mother.  I’ve been thankful that I haven’t had that experience and everybody is healthy.

Absolutely. Greg, let’s start from the beginning and what got you into playing music.

Probably looking at the cover of Love Gun by Kiss record when I was about six years old. Just seeing those guys on there and then listening to that record just transfixed me. As far as the drums go, I didn’t intentionally pick the drums I just gravitated towards that. They picked me almost, I feel like, but rhythm in general and then I just couldn’t get enough of it. Then I found Queen, and then I found Led Zeppelin, The Beatles and Aerosmith later in life. I was a product of the 80s. So we had the metal phase when I was growing up.

You and me both.

And so I grew up with guitars, bass. My room was covered with posters, back in school I had long hair, jean jacket, the Metallica patch, the whole deal, I just lived it. I’m from a little bitty town in Oklahoma with one red light. I graduated with about 40-50 kids. About 1000-1500 people there and wanting to be a rock star. I was like, how do I do that? It took me a couple years after high school, I moved to Los Angeles. I’m like if I’m going to do this, I am going to go for it. And I knew one person then I moved to an apartment with two of the dudes. It was a two-bedroom setup on an air mattress for about a year and a half. 

That sounds like the typical beginnings of a rock star life, right? 

That’s the blueprint. There’s no college you go to — there’s no education — It’s all by chance. And my thing is you got to go where your best chances are, and it was really New York or LA. That was how I saw it, and coming from Oklahoma, I’m right in the middle. I knew somebody that was in LA and the weather was better and I like Mexican food so I was like, ‘that’s it, I will do that one’.

I love the philosophy behind it. 

Yes, there really was. 

There’s going to be a lot of Mexican food so that settles it.

But also at that time, you got to remember, Nirvana was just hitting us, Seattle’s up there so I could also go there. So I’m like just stick to the west coast, I thought, and I was about 22 years old. I was pretty young. 

So, going from there, Greg, getting into your professional career, was Eleven the start of that professional career and how did that opportunity come about?

Crazy enough, this the sounds like a BS story, but right before I moved to LA, I saw — remember Beavis and Butthead?

Yes.

I saw Eleven on Beavis and Butthead and he was there ragging on them. I was like, if they rag on them they must be something. I thought the song was pretty cool. Later that night there was a show called 120 minutes, I used to play like on Sunday night. I was watching it and then that video came on, this time about Beavis and Butthead. So I was listening to the song, I really dug it, it was “Reach Out.” And I remember on my way to LA, I stopped off at a Sound Warehouse music store I bought that and Elvis Costello, Brutal Youth on cassette. And I had those two cassettes back in the day and I drove to LA from Oklahoma, like two days listening to nothing but those two cassettes. And I listened from front to back. When you’re in a car driving cross country, that’s what you did.  Then I got a job working at Guitar Center on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood.  I was working in there, then Alain (Johannes) and Natasha (Shneider) from Eleven came in there and I recognized them from the cassette. I was like, ‘ You are Eleven.’ I really went to them and started helping out in the drum department. I told them how big of a fan I was and they said that their drummer left. I was like, ‘Really? I know all your stuff’. So I gave them my number. I never thought they would call. Who finds a drummer at the Guitar Center? Nobody. And especially a dude from Oklahoma, I look like a country ass. I still had my accent.  She’s from Moscow, and he’s from Chile. He grew up in Hollywood. He grew up with Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers) and all those guys. Pretty much the Red Hot Chili Peppers was formed around him starting another band. That’s a whole other story. But anyway, I got the audition. I went down there and I knew this stuff, frontwards and backwards, and I got the gig. And then the next thing you know, we’re on tour with Soundgarden.

That’s amazing. 

That all happened in about a year’s time — a year and a half from me moving from Oklahoma. 

Moving fast.

That was the start of it. Of course, we were a struggling band. Eleven was an extremely respected band to all the musicians like Soundgarden andPearl Jam. When we toured Soundgarden, they paid for us to go, they paid all our airfare, hotel, car, because they were fans of the band, we weren’t even on the label. 

That’s unreal.

When we did get signed to a label, we had one of those things where you got signed and then all of a sudden Interscope bought out that record company, so our record was gone. It never got worked. But then, the Chris Cornell thing came along.

I was going to say next in that whole chronology of how things worked for you is, obviously you’re connected with Chris Cornell at this point along with Alain and Natasha from Eleven were working with Chris. So obviously that must have been the introduction for you in getting the gig with Chris. Is that how it worked? 

Basically he hired the band Eleven to be his touring band. He wrote the record and recorded it at Alain and Natasha’s house in Hollywood. And that’s where I did the drums. When we went on tour, he basically hired the band so, I was the drummer. We had a friend of ours to play bass becauseEleven never had a bass guitarist. Natasha played the bass with her left hand and the high parts of the order with her right. She was insanely talented. After that euphoria morning tour, we were all under the impression that we were going to basically form a band. We were going to change the name. We didn’t have a name but Chris is going to be the lead singer, I was going to be the drummer, and it was going to be basically that same band. But he wanted to do a band thing. That was going to happen and all of a sudden, Audio Slave happened. And we found out later, we were like oh no. That was a big blow. Think about it, you know, I’m a musician, and I’m 25 years old at this time, and I’m going to be in a band with Chris Cornell and all of a sudden to have that taken from you. 

Crushing.

It was. After that, we did some touring with Queens of the Stone Age; opening up for them and the Rated R record came out. And then I ended up going to Puddle of Mudd, because I went to that audition, and then Alan and Natasha went to Queens of the Stone Age. 

So, just to back up really quick was Chris Cornell. Is there any memory with Chris that really kind of stands out? One thing about him, obviously now that he is not with us? 

One of the coolest things was we started rehearsals for that at a little studio in North Hollywood — in the valley. I worked right next to the studio. It’s in the same building. We did both finish wallpaper, like there’s handmade wallpaper for nice upscale hotels and stuff. But it was my job, before Chris Cornell’s. I wasn’t buying a house or anything. I had to have a job, struggling bands. So, I am painting wallpaper and stuff. But we used to take breaks and we’d go outside we play tape ball, and we make the little masking tape baseballs. Not quite as big as a baseball but we’d get a bunch of paper, old wallpaper and we’d tape mask is up and then we had a dowel rod for our bat and we play baseball. If you hit it at a certain place, that’s where your runner went. If it was a ground ball, it’s single if it gets past pitcher. We had our own rules, needless to say. But it was only three of us working; a pitcher, batter and an outfielder. Well, when we started rehearsal Chris showed up and he pulled up in his rental car. It was a Porsche or something crazy, and he got out and he’s looking like Chris Cornell; black leather jacket, tight cool jeans, boots, the full on hair. It’s Chris Cornell. And he walked up and he’s like, I want to take a swing. Like, okay. And we were all covered in paint in our paint clothes, and he walks out there and he is batting. Danny, the guy that I was working with, he pitched to him and he threw it to him, and I saw the first pitch he cranked that thing, probably farther than anybody had hit it. We’d been playing that thing for like, two years out there on break at work. And he comes up there and first pitch and crushes it and he just dropped the bat and turn around walked out and gave it a flip, the dowel rod.

 Not only is he like the cool rock star arriving and all that, but then he whacks it and just dropped it like it’s nothing. 

Well, I have came to find out later, he was offered scholarships in baseball. 

Really?

Yes. He was a pretty good baseball player. 

That’s a cool story. I like that. The introduction to the band with Chris right?

That’s right. 

Nice. Then, of course, from there, you land the Puddle of Mudd gig. I guess at that point, did you feel like you found a home or was it just another stop? 

Well, I wasn’t sure, I was hoping I’d find a home, because it’s different. I wasn’t in a band that got some record deals. They had a record deal. They were a band. I’m a musician trying to get in a band in a town I don’t know a lot of people or start a band. It just works for me as a drummer, you can go from gig to gig. A singer can’t do that obviously, but drummers, half the people don’t even know who plays drums for certain bands unless you’re a drummer. Well, when I audition for Puddle of Mudd, knowing what I knew, at that point, I knew they were going to put money in this band. They’re going to promote the shit out of this band. I could just tell. I saw. I mean, you don’t go to an audition and they bring you back for another audition in front of management. People flying from New York to watch you jam in an audition. I’m like this band is going to blow up. I knew it and I could see it. And obviously that made me really want that gig. It doesn’t matter how good the band is, it does not if the money is not behind it, it’s going to have a hard time. It’s just the way it was, especially in that day. There wasn’t any internet at that point. I don’t think there was YouTube or anything like that. So people were still buying records and albums. And at that point, I mean, when that band came out, we were selling close to 100,000 a week. 

When Puddle of Mudd came on, they were one of my favorite bands. I’m still a big fan. In fact, we probably met Greg. You and I, I was there with my, at the time future wife, we saw you guys. I think was 2004, Life on Display tour. 

That would have been me. 

And you guys were doing the meet and greets in Providence, Rhode Island. So I bought the album a second for the meet and greet.

Meaning we have met.

I’m actually interviewing Wes (Scantlin, Puddle of Mudd lead singer) later today. 

Good. Tell him I said hello. 

I absolutely will. Speaking of Wes, obviously, he’s had some well publicized meltdowns. Did you witness this or did you see it coming? Was it part of the reason why you left the band?

In fairness, I was a mess too a little bit. Wes was crazy. We all were. We toured with Three Doors Down and they had their family and kids out with them and I had just gotten married, and I wanted to have a family and wanted to have kids and the way Puddle of Mudd was going, it had nothing to do with music or records, knowing how I’ve been to this point, it wasn’t like I’ve been loyal, I’m in this band, it’s us against the world. It has never been like that for me. For me, it’s just about me. Can I keep working as a drummer? That’s my main goal. How long can I continue to do this? Because my career is, how do I play this game? And then, Three Doors Down came to me, it was like, ‘Those guys, have a catalog and they can tour pretty much as long as they want’. Of course, once I got in the band, I realized these guys are just as bad drug addicts as we were. But still, nonetheless, that’s where it took me. That was where my decision was. It just felt like the right decision at that point in time. 

It feels like you’ve probably found the home now though. I mean, you’ve been with Three Doors Down for 15 years right? 

It’s been a long time and in that time, we’ve really gone through a lot together. We’ve all been messed up. Different ones got sober at different times. We’ve had one that died. One of the guys is in prison for manslaughter. We’ve got our own Skynyrd story going. Now the remaining, as far is Brad, Chris and me, we all are sober. So that’s the only way we continue to do this. Because we were about to go back out again, and I could not wait. Because I haven’t played a show since September 7th. We were just about to go to Europe in June.

And then here we go with all this. 

Yes, that’s what led me to doing this song.

Obviously, as you said all tours are halted, everything’s halted, everyone’s in quarantine and now you’re sitting around in quarantine and decide to put out a single related to the pandemic, ‘Skin to Skin’ and let me tell you, great song I was really impressed. You are showing off some major skills, just how it’s being received on YouTube. I see no thumbs down; I see nothing but thumbs up. On YouTube, in this day and age to have something like that is unprecedented.

I don’t think anybody out there hates me. (laughs)

You have flown under the radar in that respect, right?

Right. It’s funny like when I was in Puddle of Mudd, we were on tour with Korn and there was a guy for about four shows in a row, he was in the front row all through Wisconsin and Michigan and he just went to the front row and our whole set, he had his middle finger up at Wesley and stood there the entire show with his arm straight out. And then Wesley would actually talk about him. Then at the third show he won tickets to a meet and greet to come tell us how much he hated us. Except he went to me, he goes, but you’re cool, he pointed at me. And I was like, ‘see even that dude’. I don’t have anybody that hates me yet. But this will change.  It’s hard to hate on somebody you don’t have no clue about. 

So you are sitting there and you’re like, you know what, let me be creative because that’s what I do and I’m sure you surprised a ton of people, playing bass, guitar, singing you’re playing the drum of course. Impressive. How did that come together? 

I’m the only one that can do it. Everybody’s in their homes. When I did this, this is right when really locked down started. The engineer lives in my house, he rents a room in my basement. He is Marshall Bastian. And he’s an engineer there but he’s also like a monitor engineer that works for Craig Morgan country singer. And obviously, he’s not working there so he’s here in the basement. So we figured, he’s the one who came up with the idea about writing something about it because I was just bummed out about it because I didn’t know what was going to happen. I was also in the process of trying to open up a coffee shop and I was going to be doing this tour, and this changed everything. So I just wrote a song about it. So I did and then I wrote it so fast. And I was like, ‘I’m done. I wish I could track it’. He goes, ‘I can record you, you can try playing the guitar’. And I’m like, ‘Okay’, and then I tried to play the guitar, to play the bass, play the drums and I never sang before so it’s just that I think I can see because I’m singing it when I was writing it. And so I sang it a couple times through and I didn’t sound too bad. I was just shocked that I was able to not hate my voice as much. 

I was going ask about the production. Now obviously, you’ve answered my question the engineer living there as well because the production is very well done. And everything just came together so well. At this point, obviously what’s next? Are we talking solo album here, are the creative juices flowing or was it just a one-time deal? 

No, I’ve already got a couple songs actually recorded. It just inspired me to do this because obviously, Marshal’s still here in the house and I’m like, ‘Let’s just do another song’. I have just been writing and I’ve never really done this before. I’ve always been writing songs but only for me really, I have written a couple songs for three doors but just because those songs sound like that might be a Three Doors Down kind of song. Normally I don’t write for anything other than me. I don’t write like would this be a good a Halestorm song? Would this be a good Soundgarden? I don’t really go with the intention of finding a direction for it. Sometimes I write a song and it sounds like James Taylor or something that. Sometimes it sounds like Pantera or not quite that good. Maybe we will make it there, how about that? I just don’t know what’s going to come out sometimes and what words are going to come out but with writing the “Skin to Skin” song, I had a direction for that. How do I feel like sonically? That’s why that half step is just a just one note that drones and that was my whole thing was just like, that sort of thing like happen in my life just like droning right now. Doesn’t it seem like we’re just hovering? 

That’s a great way of putting it too, just kind of hovering in space waiting. I got to say it’s an extremely catchy song. It’s got a good hook to it. It’s a great song. And hopefully we’ll be hearing more soon from you put it out.

Me too. 

Do you have a stash of songs you are like maybe I’ll bring these to light now and it seems like a good time to do it?

I got a couple songs that I did. I got one song, it’s almost country I wrote about Oklahoma. It’s just about growing up on Lake Texoma. I actually wrote down and I tried to give it to Blake Shelton, because he built a house right by my mama’s house. And I was like, maybe I can get to him somehow and of course it’s like Gwen Stefani and then being in that little town, best way to do this is to give all my friends a copy of it on a CD and if they bump into him in a gas station, hand it to him. It’s funny cause, he leaves everywhere in a helicopter around there. It’s just weird in this little town.

There goes Blake.

Which is also strange now it’s like, you will see Gwen Stefani in town, in this little town. It’s a lake town, it’s a resort kind of area. That’s where I grew up. I wrote a song about that lake. I was like, I might bring that out. I don’t know, it’s a little country but like I said, I don’t care what, I’m not trying to do this to sell or to like get a label. This is what I write. Maybe other people will like this. It’s fun. 

There’s no pressure, right? 

Right. My thing is I’d love for radio to play some stuff. I’ve got a couple of stations playing it, the more I can get it out there, the better. That’s obviously the end goal for me, I’d say obviously, the more people I can attract to like it, the better. 

Absolutely. As this thing gains steam, obviously, it’ll get you out there more as far as your solo stuff.

People are starting to know who I am, which is always good. And even if I’m trying to open up a coffee shop, it’s good for that too.

We have a lot of similarities, Greg, our background, the 80s, all that stuff, things like that. But I always wanted to open a coffee shop. I was thinking the coast of Italy somewhere. That would be great. But that’s awesome. Certainly looking forward to hearing more from you on your solo stuff. Obviously, I’ll keep an eye out for that and looking forward to it. Are you collaborating with Three Doors Down right now? Are you guys talking and doing some Zoom meetings?

We’ve done a couple of Zoom songwriting session. But, we’re still trying to figure out what’s going on. That’s why I was like, with nobody knowing anything, that’s why I’m doing this. I’m a musician. How am I going to play music? Well, I can only do this by myself right now. So I might as well.  I can’t even jam with a guitar player right now, well I can but remotely.

Not the same.

It’s a lot different. 

No, that’s true. So I’ll wrap things up here, Greg. But a couple really quick questions obviously with Three Doors Down. They obviously are very vocal, at least Brad is with his political views. Do you share those views or is that just Brad’s thing? It seems to come from Three Doors Down.

My thing is, I don’t talk about it at all. I think everybody’s entitled to their opinion. Do I think that our president can be a dumb ass? Yes, of course. But that’s why a lot of people like him.

He speaks his mind. 

Right. And I get it. I see both sides of it to me, but I just hate it on social media and just the news. I can’t watch the news. I couldn’t watch news before, now came the Coronavirus. I don’t know if it’s a boiling point, but it’s just…

It’s overdone.

I don’t like to put my political views out there. First of all, I’m not going to change anybody’s mind, nobody’s really going to change my mind. It’s kind of pointless. And it’s not going to create some bonding thing, it will only create division. I feel that way about religious views too. It’s not really a debatable subject. 

I agree. A couple quick ones here, greatest live show you have attended.

Texas Jam 1987.

Who played?

It was Boston, Aerosmith and some others.

Very cool. That’s a great show right there. How about the greatest show that you’ve played? Is there one that stands out that blows your mind still? 

The inauguration was pretty trippy, I guess just for the fact like, regardless of what your political beliefs are, playing in the Lincoln Memorial like that at that area looking out the water and it was where Martin Luther King gave his speech. I’m right, that same place performing a show and the President of the United States has just now been elected and inaugurated a few hours ago, is sitting right there. That’s 40 feet from me. That’s crazy. If you think about it, regardless if you like Trump or not, it’s about what I’m actually doing. That’s what is going through my head. This is a big deal. He just was inaugurated president and the first thing he’s really doing is sitting right there in this bulletproof case, him and family; him, Melania, Ivanka all of them. They are all right there. Just on the stage. It was crazy. 

I think you’re right, whether it’s Trump or Obama or whoever, to be sitting there playing like that would be very surreal I’m sure. Here is a kid from a small town Oklahoma, you’re playing from the president. That’s pretty cool. 

It’s hard to top that one as far as cool gigs. 

RockRevolt:    That’s pretty amazing. When can we expect the next single coming out? Can we expect something soon? 

I think what I might do right now, of course, everything’s fluid in the world. But right now, my plan is just to maybe release a little EP like five-six songs. And then instead of doing a bunch of different singles, just the quarantine sessions, basically. Just like this is what I did during this quarantine and just put it all out there like that. Because like I said, nothing else. I’m getting my name out there to some people that don’t know who I am now and so like I said, just gets a couple of ears here and there, you never know. 

Exactly. I think you’re on the right path Greg. Like I said, “Skin to Skin,” great song, glad to see you out there doing that and taking advantage of this time. Certainly best of luck with all that stuff. Are there any other projects or anything you want to mention before we wrap up here or?

No, this one is kind of keeping me busy right now. I don’t have anything to promote other than this. I don’t know of any shows or most of our stuff has been awash as everyone’s really. So, no. just promoting this is. This is it. I got my Facebook page. And then and I just started Instagram.  But that’s all I have to promote. 

Well, that and the future coffee shop coming, right?

The quarantine sessions coming up, hopefully we will be done shortly and the Greg’s Dancing Goat is going to be the name of my coffee shop. 

What’s that, Greg’s Dancing Goat? 

Yes, Greg’s Dancing Goat. Well, the thing is I like that name because my favorite coffee place is the Flying Goat which is in Northern California. And a friend of mine said dancing goat because I want to have vinyl records in there, so people can put on records and go direct to collections. So, I want to put all my gold records and stuff in there. I got a bunch of cool stuff that people can look through and this is my home town so I am happy they can see this. And so I like the named dancing goat and then so I was like is there another one? Well, there was one was and it was in England and the address was on Beverly Road and Kingston United Kingdom and my mom’s Beverly, that’s the name of the building because I own the building and it’s in Kingston, Oklahoma. So like that’s the name. That has to be the name. So I put my name on it instead of just any trademark or copyright issues or whatever. I just put my name on it and so we got Greg’s Dancing Goat. I had that idea then they legalized medical marijuana and the only dispensary in town opened up right next door. I’m like, tell me that that doesn’t sound like a successful business idea. A coffee shop and pastries, music. 

It’s just like Amsterdam. 

Exactly. Then you go put on any record you like.  I want to have a collection of cool old records from Zeppelin to Ray Charles to Willie Nelson to whoever.

That’s awesome I love it. Well, I tell you when I get out that way, I’ll be sure to stop by for sure and check it out once its launched. 

Maybe Gwen Steffani and Blake will be in there having a cup of coffee. 

Exactly. That would be pretty cool. For sure. It sounds like things are going as good as it could be for you, Greg, like I said best of luck with all your solo material. 

Thank you.

As well as your career as it continues with Three Doors Down and the coffee shop, all that stuff. And it was really great speaking with you. I appreciate the time and great conversation. Thank you. 

Thank you, Brett. Thank you for having me. 

Absolutely. You take care of stay safe, keep the family safe. And hopefully, we’ll get through this and we’ll see Three Doors Down on tour here sometime in the not too distant future.

I hope so. I’ll see you soon, hopefully. But thank you very much. I appreciate that. 

Connect with Greg Upchurch(click icons):

INTERVIEW: GREG UPCHURCH of THREE DOORS DOWN was originally published on RockRevolt Mag

[planetoban]

Savin’s Answers from Twitter!

Turns out that Savin has been pretty active on Twitter answering questions from fans! I’ve gone through and collected all of them (so far) below- the tweets have been copy-pasted and edited for clarity in some places, with source links below each conversation. This post is long, but contains no images. Tweets are in chronological order from most to least recent.

I want to express that these answers are NOT 100% canon/true until proven otherwise, since things are bound to change during production.

Also: If you’re going to ask Savin something, please be respectful and appropriate. He’s a person just like you and me.

@fictionjustis: out of curiosity, I read somewhere that the sequel pictures of Eva and Aikka are of them after a time skip exactly how many [cont] years have passed in that time skip? [cont] also is that your final character desighn for Molly and Aikka ?

@EiffelSavin: Not final. Age is a few years older but sticking with this will also depends on who our broadcasting partners will be...

(x)

--

@MahCouch: Do you have any plans on telling us more stuff about planet oban and the history of universe in general?

@EiffelSavin: If we get the sequel financed yes. There's more  planned on the mythology of Oban

(x)

--

@isdebrodis: I'm really curious how old are DW and Rick in 2082, since we know that the mains are teenagers and the mechanics are middle-20s

@EiffelSavin: I don't have my old notes with me right now, where this was laid out very precisely, but I'd say Rick around 30yo and DW late 40s early 50s

(x)

--

@Dr_Marvelous: #obanstarracers #princeaikka Does G'Dar's name have any special meaning in the Nourasian language?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. Funny you should ask as I finalized that point not long ago. If we do get the new projects financed you'll have yout answer!

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: I'm curious you mentioned Don Wei is Eva's only living family member, what happened to Don Wei's parents? And what kind of [continued in next section] @EiffelSavin: Don wei's parents died early. Maya still had some family but they didn't want her to race and resented dw. Cut ties with them both long ago.

@lbigreyhound: That's interesting! I never thought too much about what happened to Maya and Don's parents/Eva's grandparents, but it makes sense... [cont] ....as to why DW was so important to Eva. Her dad was literally all she had left. This was such a great show! I loved it when I was a kid!

@EiffelSavin: Yes. She has no one else to turn to.

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [continued from previous section] family did he have? Also how long was Oban? And why did you make Molly so short yet her mother tall? @EiffelSavin: OSR was 10 years ago. It's that anniversary that got us working again together. As for Molly's hight, she's not so small & just turned 15

@ADoseOfJoy: Did you ever consider that Aikka may possibly have some feelings for Eva in the future,like,Jordan had in OSR ,and not just,,attraction''?

@EiffelSavin: I certainly did ☺

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [why didn't Don Wei] recognize his daughter if she resembles his late wife?

@EiffelSavin: DW hasn't seen Eva for 10 years + during these 10 y. he's done his best to "forget" his painful past - forget Maya & Eva, to keep his sanity

(x)

--

@fictionjustis: [is Eva the spitting] image of [Maya]? Or is it just a crazy assumption most fans make.

@EiffelSavin: They look very close IF you drop the piercing, tom boyish haircut, red hair, clothes etc. of Eva. In terms of style: not exactly the same!

(x)

--

@HG_Alsmyr: should we expect to see Jordan return in the new #ŌbanStarRacers?

@EiffelSavin: I would certainly hope so, but I won't elaborate on that right now. It will keep you guessing a little longer 🙂

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: I had mapped it precisely but that was a while a go. I'd say Rick close to 2m [6′6], Don Wei 1m80 [5′9], Jordan 1m75 [5′7] and Molly around 1m60 [5′2]

(x)

--

@TiigerLilies: [A Bluray release] would be a dream come true. Is there any potential for French or Japanese dub with subtitles?

@EiffelSavin: Yes. At least one of these languages and hopefully subtitled.

(x)

--

@ardaozcan98: What do u think Eva's music taste is like? We've only seen her listening [once] and that's something like metal or techno i guess.

@EiffelSavin: She cares about her music. Strong, fast stuff. It's a refuge. Cf also her listening to a frantic Ayumi A. remix in the original MSR pilot 😉

(x)

--

@bebebubble1: Was Canaletto supposed to have a bigger role in Oban? His takeover always felt a bit rushed and unfulfilling.

@EiffelSavin: More or less what we planned but wasnt easy to fit the whole story in a 26 epi format Somethings had to be left out or reduced to the min ☺

(x)

--

@EiffelSavin: Last point there are no [Totally Spies] inspired dialogues in OSR. I wrote all dials myself and only agreed to add a couple more lighthearted ones 🤓

(x)

--

[context: someone asked about the “all male” counterpart to the Inna species, however it looks like they’ve since deleted their account or made it private, so only Savin’s part of the convo is available]

@EiffelSavin: Well that depends if there is such a thing as a male Inna race... [cont] I didn't really have the chance to expand on the topic but was thinking more in the ways of hermaphrodites, like snails do 😇

(x) (x)

[more context: In the “Creator’s Answers” thread on the OSR forums, Savin stated that the Inna were an all-female race that had an all-male counterpart. Looks like he may have changed his mind]

--

@delicatedowner: [Screenshots that Savin tweeted look] soft on each image, but I do appreciate the effort to remaster them for the planned [Blueray] set.

@EiffelSavin: This could be the screencapture. There is no remastering there. Oban was produced un HD.

@delicatedowner: I stand corrected.  Was it HD originally formatted in widescreen (16:9) or full-frame (4:3) as broadcasted?

@EiffelSavin: HD but formatted originally in 4:3.

(x)

--

@IgorSkochinsky: Love [Iwasaki Taku’s] music! Is there any chance at all of Oban OST vol.2 being released (physical or digital)?

@EiffelSavin: Nothing confirmed yet but If we go ahead with plans to release a bluray, all unpublished tracks could be included as a bonus

(x)

--

@rebelle_g: Hello!  One question about the up coming sequel of Oban Star Racers : Is Rick Thunderbolt in it?He is my favorite character😍

@EiffelSavin: [I] Like him too but we'll see 😉 Part of Rick's appeal is that we didn't get to see him too often. Kept him cool and mysterious.

(x)

--

@Streamer255: Is Molly gonna go by her real name Eva or will she use her alias again?

@EiffelSavin: Eva doesn't really need her alias anymore. But Molly's how most character have come to know her by.  We may use a bit of both

(x)

--

@CourierRin: Do you have any plans for a Molly&Aikka couple in the potential OSR continuation?

@EiffelSavin: Aikka's an important character and close to Molly's Heart but I won't say anything about the plots we're working on for now

(x)

[destiny-smasher]

all wounds being how it is (very involved with alternative timelines and pretty long for a fanfic), how do you keep track of it all? do you have some huge flowchart document/wall to keep the story straight or do you just let it consume your mind? how much do you adapt versus plan on chapter by chapter basis as you write?

Looking back at all of the fiction I’ve written so far in my life, All Wounds actually isn’t the most complicated – it’s the second most. The most complicated was probably the crossover shit I wrote in high school, which spanned multiple fanfics which all fed into a single mainline one, where I had to be keeping track of political motivations of different factions in a war and all of this ridiculous shit. It was fun to ponder those sorts of things with regard to whimsical worlds and cartoony characters, but at the end of the day, even my adolescent self was all about character development – building narratives to pinnacles where the protagonists would have to make a difficult decision, typically involving the theme of “letting go.”

I ended up abandoning that project in college because it just got too complicated (basically I wanted to do some crazy-ass Homestuck levels of nonsense but no way I could manage it in my spare time) and I had to focus on other aspects of my life. All Wounds is the first time I’ve really revisited a weird, complicated narrative with an emphasis on building up toward plot twists and shit. Chapter 16 marks the “big moment” of the story – ideally, when readers finish this chapter, everything that’s happened so far will make enough sense to suspend disbelief through to the end. But given how the baseline story itself doesn’t really add up well…there’s no way it can all make sense, and I can’t really make even all of my own weird ideas completely line up. I do want to try, though.

In the end, however, what I’m really after is explaining enough of things to get the audience to buy into the characters’ motivations, to make sense of why they’re acting the way they are, what their goals are, and how they’re working toward them. Getting too caught up in a complicated plot can leave the audience full of apathy and indifference.

All Wounds isn’t really about time travel -- at least, not at its center. It’s not trying to do anything specifically groundbreaking or amazing with its time travel shenanigans. There’s not going to be a clever trickety-trick that resolves the whole situation – in the end, there will be time travel mystical whatever afoot, but it’s ultimately going to be about Max and Chloe each needing to make a tricky choice about how they’re each going to move forward with their lives due to consequences of things they’ve already done, choices they’ve already made.

Chloe’s struggles are much more human and grounded in earthly things -- mainly the people around her and her own insecurities regarding her place with them.

But Max’s problems are internal, and her situation with her Other self isn’t going to be solved with magic -- not really. Supernatural nonsense might be what gets her in a position to make her big, endgame choice, but that choice is going to be...I dunno, human.

A year and half ago, I did build a “skeleton” doc trying to line up the main plot beats of the story…but I always found the actual chapters would derail from this, and in some places actively disregard it.

This is because my style of writing is more the “gardener” than the “architect,” though it is a hybrid of the two.

When I try to actively plan ahead in detail, it…never really goes too well.

I don’t keep track of things in writing after I’ve sorted out the basic stuff. I use a music playlist to maintain some sort of “chronology” to emotional beats and in some cases plot connections (ex. three specific songs in a certain order helps remind me of how a certain chapter is supposed to have three specific plot things happen back to back). I also have a “quotes” doc where I dump noteworthy quotes that relate to the plot or the concept/themes I want to explore, but they’re never in a specific order. So whenever I start a chapter, I pick two quotes – one for the start, one for the end – and I use those to help build a point-A-to-point-B baseline of the general idea of the chapter. But there’s never been any formal outline or chart or anything like that, and very often, the story will take a turn on its own.

I can’t claim to have my plots planned out entirely when I begin – but I do pretty much always have an ending in mind from the start. Some main plot concept that everything should ultimately be building toward. With All Wounds, that has always been Chloe needing to come to terms with the people around her, Max needing to come to terms with herself, and Chloe ultimately needing to let others help her help Max, the way Max has helped her in the past. (ie Max helped Chloe grow up when she was lost in her own issues, now it’s Chloe’s turn to help Max do the same) They both have some serious baggage, and even if some of it is caused by supernatural shit, and needs to be resolved by supernatural shit, not magical elements of being a human being are at the core of everything. And those core human elements need to be what fuels the cause/effect of any big choices.

I construct a story like a garden. I try to set up the layout, the fertilizer, and I get to work planting seeds as I start writing the story. Some of those seeds, I start off knowing exactly what they are and what they’ll grow into. But more often, they’re seeds I don’t really know the species of. But my gut tells me to plant them where it does. So I just take faith in my instinct that as long as I give these narrative seeds water and sunlight and all that, that they’ll organically grow into whatever they are, and I’ll recognize what that harvest will be eventually. Usually, this works well enough. It’s not always perfect, so sometimes I end up needing to do a bit of ret-conning.

The most important example of this is Other Max and how she’s impacting the plot. You’ll notice that at this point, the entire plot revolves around her, where before she was functioning as merely a voice in the back of Max’s mind – now she’s like her own fully fledged character, an alternate persona. When I first started All Wounds, Other Max was just going to remain a ‘voice,’ she was never originally intended to evolve in the way she has – but when I decided to pursue the “time skip” concept and flesh the story out more (way back at the start, AW was going to end basically where Chapter 7 currently does), I had to consider what I would want to do with my own time travel story. What kinds of ideas could I incorporate that I hadn’t seen in a time travel story before – or at least not in the same combination? What could I work with given the ideas the canon story presented us with? Over the past year, these have gradually grown from those early seeds, germinated, and with Chapter 16, will hopefully bloom.

If I’m lucky, it will look like I planned it all from the start, even though I certainly did not. But I think I planned enough of it, early enough ahead to flesh things out as I got there. You’ll notice I keep using the word “enough” with all of this. I don’t believe in perfection, at least not with long form storytelling. But I do believe that there’s always a certain threshold, a certain level of balance where if you can achieve that with your plot, it’s what will give way to that magical “willful suspension of disbelief,” which is critical for any story involving supernatural, magical, fantastical things.

If your audience gets too hung up on the technical details – “Aw, why didn’t they just do this? That would’ve made more sense” – then your story has failed to get them to suspend disbelief.

On the other hand, if you pull a Kojima or a Square-Enix and you fucking overload your story with too much context, you’ll have a lot of confused, frustrated people on your hands, drowned in so much information that what was supposed to feel like an exploration of the human condition has become goddamn homework just to keep up with, much less seamlessly lose yourself in those big moments, those big choices.

Yea, I’m looking at you, Kingdom Hearts. Metal Gear. Gah.(and despite how much I may be referencing it in All Wounds, Chrono Trigger/Cross suffer from this shit, too, when they try to do overarching plot stuff)

I know nothing I write will 100% satisfy everyone, but my intent is to build a conclusion that gradually shifts away from “plot” and more toward a climax where everyone knows what the stakes are, and we get to see how the characters all deal with that. Because it’s the choices that are important, not necessarily what the technical details are. And yet, if those technical details are too complicated or too underdeveloped, it will distract from and detract from those climactic choices.

And when your main plot devices all have to revolve around time travel and alternate realities?

It gets tricky.

[+ image source +]

All Wounds in particular has been weird for me to work on because of the time travel, alternate reality nonsense – it makes me feel obligated to leave more bread crumbs than usual. More “seeds.” Some of which I don’t end up using, and ultimately don’t serve much purpose, as their seeds never germinate properly. You might notice I specifically will call back certain lines of dialogue, certain specific moments – relive parts of the story from a different characters’ perspective, or in a different timeline. This is partly to give things a cohesion and help the reader connect through that familiarity, making it easier to put things together, I suppose, but it’s also because it’s content I can literally just look up in an earlier scene and use as a point of reference for myself, and build from.

Time travel stories have gradually become one of my favorite things to explore, and I think a big part of it is how my own life has a “butterfly effect” moment that can be traced back to one seemingly innocuous choice, and yet for a fact I know my whole life would be different had it not been for that choice. This, combined with my intent belief in environment affecting more of a person’s development than inherent traits – yet not affecting it entirely – leads me to be attracted to stories that explore this idea. Lastly, “humans are temporal beings” is such a fascinating topic to me, and so with AW I wanted to really build a plot around this concept – if you take a person and remove them from the standard boundaries of space-time, how does it change them? Are they still “them” anymore, really, at that point? What if it literally broke them as a human being – but since we’re talking time-space, it’s not like breaking a coffee mug, it’s more cosmic and abstract than that.

This was the core idea of the plot stuff from Chapter 8 onward. And it wasn’t there immediately, from the start. It wasn’t planned from the get-go. It just found itself here as I began the process of actually trying to write the characters and what struggles they might face in their situation.

With some rambling about plot-construction out of the way, here’s the other huge element of this for me: the characters.

I let them act out. I let them drive the direction of things. Once in a while, like with Other Max, they end up growing and evolving and doing things I never planned on, and I let that happen if it seems promising. Other times, like most scenes with Victoria, the characters will kind of devolve a bit and start bickering in ways that are unproductive – and I need to ‘rewind’ and get their attention back on track to what really matters, where the scene is really going.

In a way, this means a lot of what I write almost feels like directing actors in a performance – only the ‘actors’ aren’t physical, separate entities, but…parts of myself. I think this is ultimately what fascinates me so much about stories about what I refer to as “The Other Self.”

I tend to stray toward darker plotlines and concepts with this, (I’d name some of my favorite stories about it but that might ruin the surprise) but that’s because I’m weird and love exploring dark stories to help me appreciate the light.And maybe this is related to my gender transition, too, but the idea of how a person isn’t necessarily just…a static, singular thing, but can function in pieces, parts, it intrigues me about the human condition. And to me, that’s what fictional characters are when you write them with your heart in things – they carry a piece of you with them, and that’s where their life comes from.

Thing of it is, life is like fire – it can burn and grow and get out of control if you’re not careful. But sometimes the way those flames change can be good – burning away the old, or being fueled by it, etc.

So, to more directly answer your question:

No, there isn’t really a document, a chart, a wall, a schematic. There’s a music playlist, and a collection of quotes. From the overall story structure, to the way a whole chapter is produced, to the way an individual scene plays out, I always go in with a plan of where it needs to end (or where I think it does), decide what the starting point is, and let the characters fill the rest in like actors interpreting a script. From there, if there’s problems, I “fix it in post.”

In the case of All Wounds, that’s even more the case, since there’s no-doubt some aspects I’ve overlooked, which I’ll need to “fix” later when adapting to a visual novel. In fact, I’ve already made a lot of drastic changes to the “prologue/tutorial” to reflect the evolution of the part of the plot which is connected to it.

People will give you shit if you don’t plan things ahead. And they should. But never expect yourself to have all of answers right away. You don’t know for sure, with certainty, what these characters really need, who they really are, what is really driving them and what they’re willing to do for it – you never really know any of this entirely – until, like a real person, you spend time getting to know them by writing them, working with them.

If you do your job right, the audience will feel like you had everything planned out when really you were just good at adapting and letting things grow organically, and being able to connect things together well enough. Being able to give the audience enough context, construct a plot that makes enough sense, have characters make choices that are plausible enough.

Stories, especially longer ones, can never be perfect, but if a storyteller finds their own unique, individual balance between planning/constructing and growing/evolving, they can create something that will really stick with an audience.