#I CANT EVEN LOWER THE QUALITY ITS JUST ‘HOPE NO ONE ELSE IS ON THE WIFI OR THE GAME WILL CRASH’
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All my fucking tabs committed seppuku and now I’ve got to manually search for the coolest fucking fics I’ve ever read, like the fnaf/dbh crossover, the dbh fic where conner is just a psychopath, all of the new fics that I opened in new tabs because they sounded cool as shit but never got to read and know nothing about because it’s been WEEKS,
#shitpost#rant#tw suicide mention#if you don’t know where the mention is and want to know google seppuku#I’m making it sound like I read more dbh fics than I actually do#those two were just the only two I could think of off the top of my head other than the ones I’m obsessed with#you don’t get to know about those ones though because I’m a greedy little bastrad#tw vent#istg if this is because of the rhythm games I will beat somebody’s ass#I CANT EVEN LOWER THE QUALITY ITS JUST ‘HOPE NO ONE ELSE IS ON THE WIFI OR THE GAME WILL CRASH’#DIDNT EVEN GET A ‘OH HEY PAL WE FUCKED YOUR TABS UP WANNA TRY AND GETTEM BACK?’ BECAUSE THEY GAVE UP FAST AS I DID!!#this is why I need a fucking therapist I swear on the name of every single god that I deny my worship I will kill every single fucking one
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Hello Fang I have no one else to talk to about this so I hope you don’t mind me but I will not lie the fall of Tokyo Revengers keeps me up multiple times a month like the manga was unfortunately getting lower quality story telling and writing as the later chapters kept coming out but NOTHING could have prepared me for how everyone in the fandom was personally and instantly shot dead by Wakui himself. I cannot even bring myself to be mad about TR ending the way it did because I still think I am in shock. I feel like I have amnesia when I recall the ending because something does not feel right and a memory of something to make up for the ending is missing. Like why did it happen like that? What am I missing? It was the one of the most baffling fandom + reading experiences for me.
DSJJFDKLSF
the downfall of TR manga was crazy cause before the ending it was like. genuinely in my top ten for a minute. i really REALLY liked it for what it was and im still really fond of the characters. but i really do not like the fandom skjfhkjd and i also really cannot believe just how poorly it went down. it's like. still crazy. there's just so many loose ends that didn't get tied up
i really do believe in my heart it just ended up being a timing and release issue but it's still so insane to me because TR was so popular during its air i cant imagine what happened that made the scheduling SO BAD? but it was just. bad. god fucking awful LMAO. i feel u in that im not really mad about it as much as it is just like.... totally baffling LMAOOO. like i did feel bad for all the real TR fans bc what the fuck
#return to sender#like bro where is hanma. where is anyone. what is happening here#i miss hakkai#AND IZANA I MISS YOU IZANA </3333
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putting stickers on your laptop is all fun and games unless youre like me and have horrible luck with them 😭 every time i start putting stickers on one thinking "well its worked great so far, so it should be safe to decorate with my beloved stickers!" and then it starts to deteriorate and become unusable😭😭😭 i dont know what im doing wrong with laptops like im not downloading viruses and i dont go nuts downloading huge heavy software or games. the most ive ever asked of them has been the sims 4, and even that i only tried to play on the best laptop ive had when it was still working well 😭 i want to try and replace the cracked screen so i can do digital art on it again but even if i Do get to fix the screen that wont make it stop being way slower than how it was when i first started using it. id be willing to just forget about trying to play any video games or doing anything that isnt art but like. i would LIKE to be able to play silly little steam games with my friends every now and then :•( but the main objective is definitely just digital art, so i guess ill just have to suck it up... even still, im having such a hard time finding the specific screen i need for it to work with my laptop AT ALL, let alone at an affordable price. even if i figure out how to replace it myself i'll still have to buy the replacement screen, which ive only been able to find at like at LEAST $150ish. which isnt THAT much when you have a Job but i dont. i get like maybe $5-10 every month, 20 if im lucky. id try pushing my commissions more but without the laptop i cant do very good quality digital art 😭😭😭 i can still do Some on my phone, but the image quality is always way lower, as well as the line quality. not to mention the strain it puts on my fingers and wrists to do my more polished pieces this way. i seriously dont know what to do. i can try asking for the money for a replacement screen for my birthday in August but honestly i was really hoping to go to a renaissance fair with my friends instead since thats like. fun, yknow? but i guess asking for the screen instead is more practical since i can use it to do commissions (if i ever even get any. ive only been commissioned like 3 or 4 times over the Years ive had them open. which i understand cause im not really a huge artist and my blog isnt art focussed so i dont thino i even have a lot of followers that are here mostly for my art. and thats on top of everyone else in the entire world also struggling with money so badly right now, like i feel so bad asking for money when theres so many other people who need it to Survive. urreugghh this world is so evil) anyways just. UGH. capitalism is such an inescapable hellworld and im so tired of living in it. i either spend all of my time and money and energy and effort into surviving and end up severely suicidal. or i try to spend more time taking it easy and focussing on things that make me happy but i keep ending up too broke to do anything cause it all costs money anyway. so i end up feeling passivelu suicidal instead cause i feel like i have no comfortable future 😭 this sucks
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So I did ask about pickiness in the lolita community and ur response was great.
In my original ask i actually forgot to ask the specific type of pickiness i had in mind though, which is 1000% my bad.
The problem I have is pretty much one I have with every fashion style I'm into, which is fabrics. I have severe sensory processing disorder (spd), and a solid 90% of fabrics super do not agree with me, of which a lot of lolita pieces and guides use the worst ones for me (i can give more details about fabrics i can and cant wear but plz dont ask about why i cant wear em bc spd is pretty nasty for me) Tulle is among the worst, so I use a crinoline instead, which honestly gives better shape than any petticoat ive tried.
I actually dont have many issues with skirts, since the fabric often doesnt touch you much, aside from petticoats, and own a lot of legitimate lolita skirts, mostly from lolita wardrobe.
Blouses on the other hand. The main problem is a lot of fabrics i find wearable are visibly lower quality than lolita usually has, and it often feels like it ruins the whole coord. For the longest time my go to was just a tank top and cardigan bc even finding non lolita blouses is hard bc of spd, and ordering online is worse bc I cant even feel the fabric beforehand. I could sew a blouse myself but again, the fabric would look visibly different than a normal lolita blouse, even if it was the same pattern used, and I'm scared that that would make it not count.
I actually already have a lot of stuff and have been wearing lolita ish stuff for years, i just dont post pics or go to lolita specific events, because my main fear is that my absolute inability to wear a lot of fabrics leads me to be unable to legitimately participate, no matter how much I try with the rest of the coord. Even wearing a crinoline instead of a petticoat I've seen ppl argue about.
Its less that I'm new and scared and more that I feel like due to spd I am barred from ever getting good, ya feel? And it just feels pretty unfair if that is the case. Im not gonna stop wearing what i wear but I feel lonely sometimes.
Thank you so much for what you do though i love the guides you post and I save pretty much all of them 💚
So, for starters, I'm going to speak to everyone reading this first:
Saying, "tennis shoes aren't allowed in lolita but it's okay if you're disabled," is not disability inclusion. It's shitty. You deciding that disabled people can be held to lower standards than abled people is discrimination. Abled people deciding what is accommodation for disabled people is not inclusion. If you want to be disability-inclusive, you need to listen to people asking for the accommodation and you need to meet them on their terms.
So, to anyone who is inclined to answer this with, "Well, if it's a disability, you can wear whatever you want, and anyone who says it's not lolita is wrong because you get a free pass because they can't hate you for being disabled," that's the wrong way to look at the question.
Because OP's question was about if they can find acceptance in the lolita community because they deviate from the norm due to a disability, and the answer of, "just explain your disability to every single person and hope that they're accepting of it," isn't a good one.
.
So, to actually address the asker.
First of all, you personally are allowed to say, "I just will not wear <x fabrics> because it is not possible for me to be healthy and comfortable in them," and then accept that it's the foundation you need to base your lolita fashion off of. It's completely unfair for someone else to decide what your ability level is. However, understanding where your physical, emotional, and mental limits are, and then working to enjoy the things you want to do without crossing those limits? That's just self-care. That's being responsible.
However, as someone who is disabled, I'm kind of going to say how I feel about situations like this and then hope that it's similar to how you feel. We have different illnesses and conditions and so we might not feel the same about this, so I'm just sharing my feelings for a second.
Because, to me, while saying, "I'm making this exception for myself for the sake of my health," is a completely fine option that I know I can use, I still want to wear elaborate coordinates and celebrate this fashion that I love, and I still want to find some kind of acceptance in the community. Part of this is because I don't want to be required to explain to every single person who could judge my outfit that I need to be different because of something I can't control. It's both completely exhausting and totally terrifying. I have to hope with every single person that I talk to about this isn't a nutball who doesn't think disabled is a real thing, and that they aren't the kind of nutball who wants to take advantage of someone's disability for personal gain on entertainment, and that they aren't the kind of nutball to explain to me that <real one I got:> tantric massage can treat hearing loss.
Also, i wear lolita fashion because I love lolita fashion. Even when I'm making outfit changes that step away from the norm, I still want to be wearing lolita fashion. I don't want to go to my lolita events wearing pajama bottoms and a crop top, even if I think my community will still like me as a person, because I go to lolita events to wear lolita fashion. Even when I'm required to make accommodations for my health, I still want to be wearing lolita fashion. I wear it because I want to wear it.
Thank you for letting me project there. I can't know that you feel that way, but since you asked me, there's what I feel.
And that's a long way of explaining why, even though, "you're allowed to recognize what health and safety accommodations you need to make for yourself, and then keeping to those things is healthy," is a complete answer, I'm still going to keep talking.
In a couple of my other posts, I've talked about the "faking it" cards that you get when you're building a first coord. Generally, when your'e new to lolita, people will say, "ballet flats are okay shoes for your first coord," or "it's okay if your first coord doesn't have a petticoat; just hold your skirt out" or "it's okay if your first coord has a pointed collar on your blouse," and leave it at that. What people don't say is that there's a limited number of "it's okay"'s you can get before it's not really lolita anymore. You only get a few with that first coord before you've gone from "EGL" to "waitress who lost her apron".
What people don't talk about as much is that the "faking it" cards don't go away. You don't hear about it as much outside of newbie communities, because a lot of more experienced lolita-wearers do it without really thinking, but there's always an element of "can I get away with this?" in your coordination, no matter what your level is. People talk about balance in coordinates all the time. There's a lot of bizarre guessing and faking of things and experimenting (my ILD coord this year was me trying to find a way to wear a black bow with a navy dress).
From the way it sounds, you've got legitimate lolita skirts, so if you want to use your "faking it" cards on your blouse, there is probably a way to incorporate things you're able to wear into a lolita look. You mentioned cardigans, which are pretty common in lolita (and as long as you're not taking it off, the visual difference between a cardigan and a cutsew and a cardigan and a tank top isn't really all that big), so it sounds like you're familiar with the lolita guidelines and you're already learning on how to make those guidelines safe for you to wear.
I could go on a little bit longer about the why but this has gone on for a while so I'm just going to say that the community's response to someone who has actually studied and decided to try wearing lolita, but who has to make health accommodations is going to be very different from the response that they have to people who have no experience and demand that the community cater to that inexperience.
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what do you think would be the most embarrassing things the brothers could do in front of mc? and how might they/mc react?
Huh, this one’ll be interesting. It took me awhile longer than I wanted it to, but here it is :D
Embarrassing things the Obey me! Brothers would do in front of mc
Lucifer:
The most embarrassing thing for Lucifer would be anything that tarnishes mc’s opinion of him. He’s the avatar of pride, so his image is everything to him. If some lower demon were to talk to you about all the less-than-savory things he did during (or even after) the war and his fall, telling you “how brave you are for living with the big and scary Lucifer (and his brothers)” Lucifer would be beyond upset. He’d probably want to get angry and make that lower demon pay, but he would hate to prove their point.
He’s been very careful in making sure that the worst thing you think of him is that he’s strict and has a bit of a temper. On the other hand, he doesnt mind as much if you know some of the nicer side of him, but if Diavolo gets talking about some things he’s seen Lucifer do that are ‘too cute’ he will also be embarrassed. Best case scenario in both situations is just to laugh it off and say something like “haha, not the Lucifer I know.” And let it be, it would crush the poor guy if you were frightened of him for any reason.
Mammon:
Mammon gets embarrassed so easy you could do it without trying (and you have) but the absolute worst thing that could happen would be if those witches he made pacts with ordered him around while he was trying to spend quality time with you, or even worse if they ran into you and him on a day out and ordered him around in front of you. In any case where that is to happen the best way to ease his embarrassment would be to get right back to what you were doing before. when he gets back to you, a quick insult thrown the witches way and a peck on his cheek is a sure fire way to help him feel better quickly.
If it was a rough day beforehand and this happens, he’ll need some extra re-asssurance, because the witches interruption with be the cherry on top that ticks him off. To help him in this case you’ll probably need to sit down with him for a second somewhere and reassure him that you understand that when it comes to those witches somethings are out of his control. He’ll grumble and say something along the lines of “nothings out of control for the great mammon,” but after a pause he’ll thank you for being so good to him and then you can go about your day.
Asmodeus:
Asmo has just about zero shame, getting this boy embarrassed is next to impossible, so when you do see him embarrassed it’ll probably be quite a shock to you. It probably happens when Asmo takes you to Majolish and an old flame of his who he left high and dry tries to warn you against perusing a relationship with Asmo while he’s in a changing room. Asmo comes out to model the new outfit he’s trying for you, only to see you practically cornered by that pesky ex of his. Asmo also has the pleasure of hearing you tell them to “piss off asshole” before you turn to see Asmo in his new outfit.
Asmo isn’t so embarrassed that someone he was intimate with found you gave you a talk, it was bound to happen anyway, what Asmo is embarrassed about is how he wasn’t there to help you. He’s also flattered that you stood up for yourself (and him) but it’s also part of what embarrassed him. He knew how you felt about him but this was the first time it really hit him. For the first time in a long time, his relationship wasn’t purely physical. Asmo immediately takes off whatever he tried on, leaves Majolish without buying anything and he’ll spend the rest of the day showering you with affections and letting you know how thankful he is for you.
Satan:
What gets Satan embarrassed in front of mc is when he loses his temper. It happens on a nice day around the House of Lamentation, when Satan has found out that Mammon sold one of his prized first-edition books for some quick cash. Satan had planned to spend a nice afternoon reading it with you but when he couldn’t find it he called a house-wide search for the thing and eventually Mammon got so fed up with the guilt he told Satan. Needless to say Satan blew his lid. Not in a normal ‘I’m so angry get out of my sight in 3..2..1...” kinda-way, but in a “I’m gonnna rip to shreds before you can even make it to the doorway” angry
you’d been told his anger was frightening, but you’d never seen it this bad, Satan had a moment and he saw you out of the corner of his eye and immediately regretted getting angry in front of you. It’s common knowledge that he’s gotten better at controlling his temper but he also promised himself not to get angry in front of you. He’ll go back to his room to calm down. Give him about three minutes before going in there, you don’t have to say anything he’s great full enough to have your company. Once he’s had a good while to gather himself he’ll apologize and its best to give him a reminder that everyone gets angry sometimes, that venting a little is healthy and you’re there for him. I promise you he will be so touched he’ll damn near cry
Leviathan:
Pretty similar to Mammon it’s not hard to embarrass this poor guy. It’ll probably happen when he gets a new package from Akuzon and one of the brothers (probably Mammon) gets the package first and opens it in front of Levi and you at the breakfast table. Now having one of his games opened itsn’t all that bad, but its a dating sim and one look at the main character makes it pretty obvious that they’re a dead ringer for you. Mammon will let out a roaring laughter and shove the game over to Asmo and Satan, who take turns loudly debating wether or not Levi bought the game because the main character looked like you, or if Levi’s dating you because you look like main character. Obviously this is mortifying for Levi, who snatches the game out of Asmo’s hand and rushes off muttering about how he should’ve known better than to let someone else get the mail this morning.
You should let Levi have a good half-hour before checking up on him. Quietly slipping into his room with a bowl of popcorn you can sit down next to him and ask if he’s started playing his new game yet. “Why do you want to know?” Levi’s gonna ask accusingly, letting him know you wanna spend time with him no matter what his brothers say about him and his game, will make him blush like crazy. The absolute best way to get him to forget all about breakfast though would be to ask him if you could stay and watch while he played. (Bonus points if you use watching him play a dating game as a way to give him pointers on wooing you)
Beelzebub:
Beel is too big, too soft, too precious to be embarrassed about anything. Or at least that’s what you thought, but when he caught sight of you in the stands he couldn’t help the blush that formed, his team noticed. Soon enough they started giving him little “oohs” and “ahhhs” and suggestive winks, saying that he should make sure to show off a little extra just for his “beau in the bleachers” you couldn’t see it from where you were but Beel got even redder and tried to laugh it off and back to practicing. Now this wasn’t the first time you’ve showed up to watch Beel practice, but it is the first time he’s known you were in the stands watching. Every time before you’d sat way in the back and watch for a minute or two before going off to do something else. Today you had no other commitments so you thought you’d stay and support him. But pretty early on you noticed he was fumbling more often than the other times you’d watched. You thought nothing of it, maybe it was just an off day, they happened, after all.
After practice when the two of you were relaxing, you brought it up and asked if he had a bad day before practice. Beel immediately reddened up, but had no qualms about explaining his team got him worked up about you being there and he was trying to look good for you but in the process fumbled up during practice. Seeing a blushing Beel is one of the cutest sights, and seeing that he got embarrassed of your behalf because he was trying to impress you is so adorable you cant help but smile really big at him and give him a quick peck on the lips.
Belphegor:
Belphie ended up embarrassed because you had spent a lot of effort into making up a nice night for he and you to go stargazing, but three hours before you were going to set off for your date he persuaded you into a nap. Belphie woke up before you did and when he looked at the time he saw that the two of you were supposed to leave an hour ago. He wanted to go back to sleeping and pretend in the morning like it was a big goof and you could go out another night, but he instead decided not to let all of your hard work go to waste. He softly shook you awake and while you were still recovering from your impromptu nap he had persuaded you to take, he explained that the both of you had overslept. He was so upset and embarrassed that he had ruined the date you planned but instead of you getting upset with him like he expected, you laughed. After you got yourself together you looked at Belphie “you know the starts will still be there even though we slept in, yeah?” Oh. Now Belphie understood why you laughed, but it didn’t really make him feel much better that you laughed about it after he felt so bad.
It’s written all over Belphie face that this whole deal got him upset, so you rolled out of bed, and pulled in your shoes “if we go now we can watch the stars, ill go grab the picnic basket from the fridge and hope Beel hasn’t beaten us to it.” You stopped by Belphie to pull him into a big hug before he got to his feet and joined you to go start your date.
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me!#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me beelzebub#obey me asmo#obey me asmodeus#annon ask#anon#obey me belphegor#obey me belphie#obey me leviathan#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me beel#obey me headcannons#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#obey me hc
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Control
Pairing: The Darkling/Alina Starkov
Fandom: Shadow & Bone | The GrishaVerse
Rating: Explicit
Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, light bondage, sex magic, dirty talk
Summary: He was power crafted into flesh. But so was she.
Aleksander impresses the importance of control on Alina. She is a quick study.
On AO3: Link
They rode side by side, leaving the Little Palace and Os Alta behind them on a crisp, chilly day in late fall. Since the day at the well, he’d invited her out a handful of times—whenever he was at the Little Palace, he seemed to find an excuse to go riding with her.
Alina turned her eyes to the sky and wished he’d find an excuse to go riding with her. She probably hadn’t made it clear she was interested in him like that. After all, she’d dropped hints to Mal for years, but he never looked twice at her.
“Your lessons are progressing well?” Aleksander asked her, breaking the silence between them.
He rode like he was born for the saddle, all straight lines and confidence. He held the reins in one gloved hand, his other resting loosely in his lap.
With a sigh, Alina slouched in her saddle. She didn’t ride well at all—even without the comparison to him, she felt as uncomfortable on a horse as she did in her classes. She belonged in both places, but she fit wrong.
“Well enough.” She looked away from him, studying the passing trees with more interest than they deserved. “I can summon the light, at least.”
“Mmm.”
The sound of his agreement caressed the length of her spine. Her back arched, her shoulders rolling back, and when she glanced at him, she found him studying her.
“What?”
His brows lifted and he gave her a faint look of amusement. “You’ll need to do more than simply summon light at the Fete.”
Since she couldn’t scowl at the great General Kirigan, she dragged her eyes away from him and back to the trees just in time for them to give way to a broad meadow.
“Sometimes,” he said, “it helps to have a goal to work toward.”
He dismounted at the edge of the meadow, leading his horse toward a nearby post.
Head canted to the side, Alina followed and dismounted as well. “Why’s there a post here?”
“Old training field,” he replied, tying his horse and then hers.
“What’s here that will give me a goal?” She surveyed the field, barely managing to disguise her disbelief.
Aleksander gave her a dry look as he stepped around her, putting the horses at their backs. “Space.” He sounded incredibly amused by this, like he knew something she didn’t.
To be fair, he certainly did.
Frowning, she followed after him. “Why do we need this much space?”
The meadow was easy as big as the massive drive leading up to the Grand Palace. A critical examination of the meadow using all the skills she’d gained as a mapmaker told her they easily had the same area as a city block.
Aleksander stopped walking forward, and she stumbled to a halt half an inch away from his back.
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “You won’t see anything from there, Miss Starkov. Come—” She hoped the heat that washed through her at that word didn��t show on her face. “—and stand at my side.”
She joined him, watching him with curiosity.
He clasped his hands together behind his back.
Their shadows overflowed their boundaries, darkness welling up around their feet, their ankles. The sight of it no longer frightened her. Instead, he awed her as he brought his hands around his body, drawing more shadows from the distant edge of the meadow.
“Do you remember what I told you on our first ride to the Little Palace?”
Frankly, it was a blessing she’d forgotten the bulk of their terrifying flight across Ravka. At first, she’d dreamed of the Drüskelle’s death regularly. Had jolted awake from nightmares of his blood splashing her face all over again or, worse, the hand axe cracking into her skull. Now, the whole thing seemed like a lifetime ago.
Unsure if she should be embarrassed that she didn’t remember, she ducked her head. “No,” she answered honestly.
“The Cut,” he said, and her eyes jumped back to him.
She remembered that.
The Cut was a technique unique to Summoners, a shaping of power that required tremendous skill and concentration.
“I’ve seen the Cut,” she said, her voice low and soft. She didn’t know what might happen to all that power if she disrupted his concentration.
“So you have.” He held his hands before him, creating a crescent of writhing darkness in the air, holding the scythe-like edge.
Her eyes widened. To casually hold the power like that… how much power did Aleksander actually possess? What was the true extent of his abilities? She knew he was old, knew that meant he had considerably more power than the average Grisha, but—
“But we can do more with our power than just kill—than just destroy,” Aleksander said, a strange quality in his voice.
Darkness fell from his fingers in inky pools as he spread his hands wide, creating a plane of shadow. One of his hands slid beneath the darkness, as though supporting a tray, the fingers of his other hand danced over the plane, sculpting it slowly into a panorama.
Alina exhaled heavily with wonder, eyes wide as Aleksander made two forms out of shadow that walked together through a glade ringed by trees.
“We can create.” She felt his eyes on hers, but she couldn’t look away from what he’d crafted. “People think the small science has to be big.” His lips quirked, as if he found a joke in the small contradiction of his description.
Darkness collapsed on itself, folding into a small sphere no larger than a marble, but she felt the tremendous weight of it. Its gravity pulled her, and she stepped closer, enchanted by a kernel of midnight.
Aleksander turned his body toward hers. “The small science is small,” he said, his voice lowering. “It needn’t be a grand thing that overwhelms.” He lifted his hand between them, and she stared at the blackness, the emptiness, the void resting on the tips of his fingers. “Where is there shadow, Miss Starkov?”
Her eyes lifted to his. There was a lesson here, and she tried to divine the answer in the darkness of his eyes.
The corner of her lip quirked up.
Your eyes didn’t seem like an answer she could give him. “The night,” she said aloud.
“Think smaller. Where else is the darkness?” His eyes were fierce.
“Beneath the forest canopy.”
“Smaller still, Miss Starkov.”
She licked her lips. “In the space between you and me.”
Something shifted, an infinitesimally small change in his expression. There was darkness there, she thought. Darkness in his eyes.
“Smaller.”
“The hearts of men.”
“How philosophical.”
Heat flushed her cheeks. “I—”
“You,” he interrupted, “are not wrong.” He spread his fingers wide, and the darkness stretched between them. “You find your piece of the science wherever you can. We are all things, Miss Starkov, that is the truth. And there is power in that.”
Lifting his other hand, he caught the strand of darkness and stretched it into a long, thin rope.
“And underpinning it all is control,” he said, his voice low and rough, his gaze fixed on hers. “The ability to exert your will on the world around you. If your power is everywhere, then you cannot be robbed of it.”
There was something important in that statement, but he gave her no time to pick through the labyrinth of his words.
“And if you can control it, you can never be overwhelmed.”
His hands turned in lazy circles, and she felt a coil of shadow against the inside of her wrist, cool as silk.
With a gasp, she lifted her hands as he drew them together, bound in a cord of darkness. She felt the pressure of another tendril of darkness against her throat, her waist, just below her knee.
Instead of feeling trapped, she felt a strange sort of liberation. If there was darkness in the hearts of men, there was also light, and his shadows were only so dark because her light shone so bright. He bound her in darkness, but she could destabilize his science with her own.
And that was power.
“Could I do this with light?” she asked him, studying her bound hands.
He caught his fingers beneath the knot of darkness, drawing her closer to him. He hadn’t hobbled her feet with his shadowy bindings, but she let herself fall against his chest.
His hand settled on her hip, holding her in place as he chuckled.
“Ah, Miss Starkov, how is it you so often surprise me?”
Since she’d arrived at the Little Palace, she’d thought of him often. At first, she’d been afraid of him. His reputation was as great and terrible as the Fold. He was solitary and given to isolation, they said, whoever they were, with exacting standards and little patience for mistakes. He was power crafted into flesh.
But so was she.
Now, when she thought of him, it wasn’t with fear. It was with respect—more respect than she’d had a moment before. And deeper, buried beneath the respect, was something else. Something hot and hungry, something full of craving.
Full of desire.
Lifting to her toes, her wrists still bound and her eyes on his, she pressed a tentative kiss against his mouth.
His eyes went wide and then drifted half closed, the hand on her hip curling into the heavy fabric of her kefta.
“Twice in as many minutes,” he murmured against her lips.
She shivered, finding the brush of his mouth against hers delicious. “I don’t think that was two minutes.”
“Are you suggesting I possess a poor sense of time?”
“Maybe.” Her lips curved in a faint smile. “Maybe you should release my hands and let me try this on you.”
His other hand found its way around the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers pushing into her hair to hold her close. The hand on her hip gripped her tighter, pulling her against the solid wall of his body.
She inhaled sharply, delighted and somewhat mystified by the sharp ache growing between her legs. She’d felt desire before, but it had always been a muted thing, easily set aside for the more pressing concerns of her own survival. Maybe she should be more concerned with her survival in this moment—he was dangerous, and to suggest he wasn’t was to believe a pretty lie—but all she wanted was to sink deeper into the feeling.
“You are Grisha.” Every word he spoke was like a kiss. Tingles spread from her lips to her jaw, along her scalp and down her spine. “Maybe you should practice your power.”
She hesitated. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
The hand on her hip curved to the small of her back. The heel of it pressed against her, urging her closer, and she was surprised to find there was still space between them, a space she quicky eliminated. Then his hand shifted lower, the tips of his fingers brushing over the swell of her ass.
Dark eyes watched her as his hand eased lower.
“Would you hold any part of yourself back from a lover?” he asked her, his voice low and rich and, Saints, she felt that sound. “Would you not use your hands to touch them?”
“Yes,” she breathed as his hand cupped her ass and tugged her flush against him. His arm kept her close, helped her maintain her balance.
“Would you not use your mouth to kiss them? To taste them?”
She swallowed hard, remembering all those times she’d imagined Aleksander’s mouth on hers. And on other parts of her.
“You’re imagining it now, aren’t you?”
She gasped as liquid darkness slipped over her arms. The bindings around her wrists stayed in place, but cool shadow drifted inside her sleeves and stroked over her skin. Tendrils of it, like so many cool fingers, dipped beneath her tunic and into her breeches.
Skin prickling with heat, she tried to tug her wrists apart.
“Where would you have me kiss you, Miss Starkov?”
“Alina,” she insisted.
“Alina,” he agreed, his voice a rough purr. “Will you dodge my question?”
She wasn’t sure she could answer his question. “I…”
He smiled and brushed his lips against her in the faintest caress.
Somehow, that devastated her more than any other sensation. She felt like she was falling even though he held her secure against his body.
“That wasn’t your original question,” she managed. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“You worry about control.” Shadow licked along her thighs, following the curve of her ass, and she gasped, arching into him. His eyes darkened, becoming pools of midnight and desire. “That, Alina, is why we practice.”
He drew his mouth along her jaw, urging her head back and into the palm of his hand. A shuddering breath rushed out of her, tinged with a quieted moan. The heat of his breath washed over her skin, along the column of her throat, and his teeth followed.
Gasping, she yanked again at her hands. “You’re distracting me.”
“You’re not trying.”
She sucked in a sharp breath as he nudged aside the collar of her kefta and sucked on her skin. A reedy sound caught in her throat. “I could hurt you.”
“You could.” He licked the hollow of her throat. “I don’t believe you will, Alina.” He drew away from her neck, his nose following the curve of her jaw again. His lips brushed the shell of her ear, and his teeth caught the lobe. He tugged, and pleasure shot through her like lightning, ricocheting through her body.
And lightning was light and light was her power and she summoned it without thinking. Sunlight shattered the bonds on her wrists as she sank her hands into his hair and yanked him back to her mouth.
Hungry little moans spilled from her lips to his as she kissed him. His hand on her ass flexed, and she arched her back to press into his touch, which only served to have him yank her closer to him again—where she felt the beginnings of his desire against her stomach, even though the heavy layer of her kefta.
“Summon again,” he whispered against her mouth, his hand sweeping over her hip and to the front of her kefta. Fingers of flesh and darkness pulled open her belt and buttons.
She shrugged out of the heavy jacket, letting it fall to the ground as her fingers yanked at his silvery buttons. “I don’t want to.”
As he had, she kissed along the length of his jaw and then down the line of his throat, trying to imitate how he’d licked and sucked on her skin.
The sound he made when her teeth raked over his pulse made her shudder—and drew light to the tips of her fingers.
His fingers stroked down her sides, caught the white chemise tucked into her breeches, and pulled it free. Warm, human fingers caressed her over her stays alongside more cool, silky darkness, and she cried out against the skin of his throat.
“Summon for me, Alina. Show me your control.”
Control? She was supposed to be in control? Now?
Aleksander’s hands spread over her ribs, his thumbs brushing over her breasts through the fabric of her stays.
Burning tension drew through her.
Shadow sank beneath fabric. Two cool coils curled against her nipples, and she gasped.
“Banish the darkness, Alina.”
How was she supposed to find control when he purred her name like that? When he touched her like this, like no one else ever had? When she—Saints, the revelation crashed through her like a spring storm come down from Fjerda. “I don’t want to,” she gasped.
He went still against her, drawing back to peer into her face.
Heart pounding in her chest, she met his gaze, keenly aware that she was already half undressed, and if she tilted her head to the side, she’d see the tunic beneath his doublet and his skin behind that.
“What do you want?” he asked softly, quietly, as if the words might break the world.
She freed the final buckle of his doublet, danced her fingers up his chest, and loosened the laces at his throat. She licked her lips.
Beneath the confines of her skin, she burned, and fire, too, was light. She drew on that burn, on her own desire, and spooled a thread of it to the tips of her fingers. They glittered gold as she let them wander over his skin, her eyes lifting slowly to his.
Light spun off her fingers, reflecting in the darkness of his eyes. She felt it like an extension of her body, drifting over his skin.
Against her sides, his hands tightened. His pupils dilated as she watched, as her light twisted against his flesh like his shadows had against hers. One arch of light ran over his nipples beneath his clothes.
He surged against her, capturing her mouth in a devastating kiss.
Burying her fingers in his hair, she held his mouth to hers. Their tongues met, tangled, and delirious heat wound through her. More light spilled from her fingers, spinning around them both like ribbons.
Just as much as his hands, his shadows pulled at her clothes, loosening her stays, the cords of her breeches.
Cognizant that she’d be naked faster than him, her hands dropped to his shoulders and then lower. She pulled at his clothes, too, until he broke away from their kiss.
One hand cupped her jaw. His forehead rested against hers. “Where is your line?” he asked her.
Saints, she didn’t know. She’d never done this before, but she’d also never wanted someone’s mouth on her skin as much as she wanted his.
As if sensing her hesitation, he began to draw back—and she knew she didn’t want that.
So she ran her hands down his sides, his hips, his thighs as she went slowly to her knees.
His breathing turned ragged. The look in his eyes scorched her.
She knew enough about sex to know all the ways people could play with each other. She knew that all the ways she wanted his mouth on her, he could have her mouth on him.
Emboldened by the way he looked at her, she brushed her lips against the hard line of his cock through his breeches before she spread her kefta on the ground and leaned back on it. She pulled the laces on her breeches open, letting the front panel sag low on her belly, and met his gaze with trembling anticipation.
As if mesmerized, he knelt between her legs. When he leaned over her, she felt sheltered by the shadow of his form instead of caged. His hands pressed into her kefta above her shoulders, and he hovered above her.
“I want—I want to feel—what you said earlier,” she managed, feeling her cheeks heat with embarrassment. Not because she didn’t want him to touch her, to taste her, but because this was new, and she didn’t quite know what she was doing, and she worried about disappointing him.
The hot look in his gaze, the ragged cadence of his breath, all told her she probably didn’t need to worry about disappointing him.
“My mouth on you?” he asked.
She nodded.
Slowly, he lowered himself onto his forearms. His fingers threaded into her hair at her temples, and he kissed her slow and long, his mouth lingering on hers as though she were a treat to savor.
With a groan, she arched against the air, seeking the weight and comfort of his body and frustrated when she didn’t find it.
His tongue licked into her lips as he obliged her, settling against her.
She gasped into their kiss to feel him between her legs—she’d never thought too much about how she might feel the line of a man’s cock through his clothes and against her body, but, Saints, she adored it. The weight of him, the feel of him, filled her with a gnawing need.
“Is that all you want?” he asked her, each word its own kiss.
She licked her lips. Licked his lips. Gasped when that made him groan and roll his hips hard against hers.
Oh, but she liked that. Loved that. Sliding her palms down his back, she curved her hands over his ass and urged him to move like that against her again.
With a moan, her head fell back and her body arched in a sinuous line against his. More friction, more pleasure, and she lost his question in the labyrinth of fire his body created against hers.
“Alina.”
Her name on his lips only made her want more, only served to make her burn brighter.
“Alina.” He tipped her face back towards her, and she felt shadows on her legs again. The silky darkness curled around her calves, and she felt them release the buckles of her boots.
That. She needed to learn that.
“Tell me, Alina. Do you want more than my mouth on you?” The mouth in question drifted against her cheek, the whiskers of his beard a delicious rasp against her skin. “Do you want my shadows on your naked skin?”
“Yes,” she gasped, driving her fingers beneath his tunic. Grateful, she was so grateful men didn’t wear stays, because the thought of having to get through more fabric to feel his skin beneath her palms was abhorrent.
“Do you want to feel those shadows inside you?” he asked, his voice a low rumble against her ear. He timed that question with a slow, languid roll of his hips against hers so she couldn’t mistake his meaning.
And she didn’t. Her nails curled into his skin, pulling a hiss that dissolved into a wicked chuckle from him. “Yes. And—and then—”
“And then?” he prompted, when she didn’t finish.
Her teeth caught her lower lip. Talking about this seemed strange, but she liked it. It was difficult to put all these secret desires into words, but when she did, those words made her burn. Made her ache. Speaking her desires aloud only made her want them more.
“And then you.” She turned her head, her mouth stroking lightly against his cheek as he groaned and rocked against her again. “I want to feel you inside me, Aleksander.” He trembled against her, and she ached with pleasure. As much as he could unmake her like this, she had the power to do the same to him. “With your shadows around my wrists.”
She didn’t know what to make of the sound that escaped him, but then he kissed her with such a savage hunger, she realized she didn’t care. He liked the idea, and she burned for it.
Shadows and hands stripped her of her clothes. He held her back in an arch as inky darkness took her shirt; his mouth smoothed over her chest as pale hands pushed her stays off her shoulders.
He didn’t pause to draw back and stare at her. Instead, his tongue traced an ever-tightening circle around her breasts before he reached her nipple. He sucked the little nub between his lips as she cried out his name. His thumb dragged back and forth over the other as shadows pulled off and discarded her boots.
Thinking around the wet heat of his mouth proved nearly impossible, but she did manage to create thin, wavering tendrils of light. The heat from her light kept her from shivering—though she thought the heat from their bodies and desire would work just as well—and made him arch and twist against her body in the most delicious ways. Still, she couldn’t strip him naked as he’d stripped her, and she wanted to. Saints, she wanted to. Wanted to use her power the way he did.
“You’ll learn,” he murmured against her underside of her breast.
“Now you’re content with letting me take my time?”
He grinned at her, and that grin made him seem so much younger than he was. “Never.”
Shifting away from her, he settled on his knees between her legs, both of them shirtless. His gaze drifted over her body, and the heat in his eyes made her squirm.
A muscle in his jaw flexed as he muttered a coarse oath. “Watching you move—” He broke off, running his hands up her thighs. One of those hands curved inward, and now his eyes fixed on hers.
Curled knuckles brushed against her breeches.
She let out a shuddering little sigh and rocked toward his hand. “Please,” she murmured, feeling her cheeks flame.
Aleksander’s knuckles brushed against her cunt through the fabric of her pants.
Alina frowned.
He burst out laughing, leaning over her again. “That’s not the look you want to see on your lover’s face.” He kissed her, and she felt his hand shift, felt his palm cup her. The heel of his hand pressed against her pubic bone, and the frown melted into a wide-eyed look of delight. Of awe.
“That,” she gasped.
“Good?”
Her hips twisted, her body moving to push his hand to the right place. She’d touched herself, she knew what she wanted to feel, knew—
A keening moan fell from her lips, and he devoured the sound with a greedy kiss
His hand rocked against her, finding a rhythm with her, until she burned beneath him and mewls of pleasure became broken pleas for more.
“I promised you my mouth,” he reminded her as she carded her fingers in his hair to hold his lips against hers for more of those kisses.
Torn between two wants, she groaned. “Didn’t think this would be so hard,” she groused.
His brow arched.
“I want everything all at once.”
A thoughtful look crossed his face. “Stay still,” he told her, resting his forehead on hers again. His hand shifted away from her cunt, petting up and down her side as he closed his eyes.
She watched him, curious—and then she felt it. The swell of power, a cresting rise of cool shadow sliding over her belly. It shifted and rolled, shaping with his will into—
Alina jerked when a cool mouth brushed between her legs beneath the fabric of her pants.
Above her, Aleksander’s eyes opened. “Not too strange?” he asked as those cool lips kissed her thighs, her clit. As they kissed her entrance—as a cool tongue flicked against her.
She jerked again, her hips arching against his. She writhed, seeking the weight of his body between her legs and getting only the delicious torment of ephemeral shadow.
“Intoxicating.” His thumbs brushed over her lips as she twisted and arched beneath him, her eyes fluttering shut so she could focus on the feeling, the building pressure and pleasure and heat.
She dug her fingers into his shoulders, clutching him against her body as she sucked one of his thumbs between her lips. She needed something, some kind of action to help alleviate the tension inside her. Instead, grasping him close and sucking on him only made her ache more, only made her burn brighter.
“You have no idea how beautiful you look right now.” The dark timbre of his voice shook her. The cool touch of the tongue between her legs made her keen.
That shadow tongue curled around her clit and she sobbed his name.
“Fuck, Alina.”
The coarse language should have offended her. Instead, it inflamed her.
“Not enough,” he muttered, and one tongue of shadow became two.
The first continued flicking back and forth over her clit. The other thrust into her entrance, and her back bowed beneath him.
“Still not enough.”
His hand smoothed over her belly as she turned her face against his neck. Her hips worked hard against his shadows, shadows that continued to torment her when his hand slipped beneath her pants and cupped her.
The heat of his touch snapped the tension coiling inside her.
She came with a broken sob, her nails raking down his back. Pleasure overwhelmed her, but it wasn’t enough, wasn’t quite the feeling she craved. There was no weight to the mouths on her, and nothing of him was inside her.
“Please,” she gasped, trembling beneath him. “You promised.”
“I did.”
Aleksander slid down the length of her body, those shadow mouths continuing their sweet torment as more tendrils of darkness pulled her pants down her legs. She kicked them aside, and he slid his hands beneath her ass, lifting her off her kefta.
She thought she should be embarrassed when his eyes landed on her naked cunt, slick with her orgasm, but those mouths never stopped tasting her, never stopped tormenting her. It almost felt like too much.
Then his mouth, his hot, wet, hungry mouth descended on her, and she realized she’d been very fucking wrong.
Alina’s fingers dove into his hair. She heard herself beg for more as his lips closed around her clit and sucked, as shadow mouths wrapped around her nipples and tormented her entrance. One hand yanked away from his hair to drive through her own. She didn’t know what to do with herself, what part of his body or hers to touch, how to alleviate the wicked, demanding ache he created once more inside her.
And then, as his tongue flicked against her clit, painting strange patterns on her flesh that made her keen his name, ephemeral shadow became somehow solid. It pushed into her, parting slick folds to fill her, and she knew without any doubt that otkazat’sya men would never be able to give her what she’d crave with sex because she’d always want this—this slick, wicked science, this combination of magic and flesh.
He must have remembered what she’d said to him, because as her hands wandered through his hair, over his shoulders, over her own breasts, shadow coiled around them. Darkness tethered her wrists, pinning them together over her head.
With no outlet, all she could do was feel. Wet heat. Cool silk. Insistent tugs of his mouth, the hot flick of his tongue. She sobbed his name, and the darkness swirled inside her cunt, filling her with power. It dragged along tender flesh, stroking her as he withdrew it, and filled her with a raging fire when he pushed it back into her.
She came a ragged cry, her hips arching against his mouth, against the shadows that filled her.
He grasped her hips and drew himself up her body. His mouth crashed against hers in a brutal kiss. She drowned in it, in sensation, in wet and wicked heat as his fingers petted between her legs and her cunt rippled and clenched around the darkness still inside her.
“You’re delicious,” he whispered against her mouth as she writhed beneath him, twisting against the shadows tethering her arms and against his body above hers. “You still want me—”
Her eyes snapped open and met his. “If you don’t give me what I want, I will learn the Cut just to use it on you.”
That didn’t motivate him, but it did make him lick at her lips. “What do you want, Alina?”
She groaned, her heels scrabbling over the rough grass, her hips arching into his stroking fingers.
“Do you want me inside you?” The murmured words were decadent against her lips, better than any sweet she’d ever eaten. “Do you want my cock stretching your sweet cunt open?” Two fingers slid inside her, the heat of him replacing the cool darkness, and she cried out with delicious shock. How good his fingers felt, burning hot by comparison to his shadows. “Do you want me to fill you until you can’t take anymore? To grind myself against you until you’re begging for me to move?”
She had no idea how good the fantasy he painted might actually feel, but her body certainly wanted it. She felt her cunt squeeze around his fingers, an involuntary contraction that made her moan.
He shifted over her, drawing his fingers out of her. She dragged her eyes open to watch him pull back and strip off his pants. Had just enough time to see his cock, hard and flushed, before he leaned back over her. The head of it nudged against her entrance, his fingers playing once more against her cunt—as much to torment her, she was sure, as to guide his cock into her.
But he didn’t push inside. Instead, he lingered at her entrance, and the tease was unbearable.
“Please,” she gasped, arching, twisting, yanking hard against the shadows that pinned her arms above her head.
He gave her the most infuriating smile—lopsided, smug. “We came here for a lesson,” he reminded her, bending his lips to her chest. He nipped her skin at the swell of one breast, making her jump beneath him, only to soothe the sting with a long stroke of his tongue. Still his cock nudged her entrance but didn’t push into her. “Call the light, Alina.”
For the first time, summoning was easy. She burned, she ached, her skin stretched tight over the swell of glittering pleasure, and that was all her power. She drew it through her body from her hands, and it sparkled over her arms and down her chest, casting scintillating patterns on his skin.
“Collect it, shape it,” he murmured. “Show me what you’ve learned.”
Show him? The fact that she could summon while he drove her out of her mind should have been enough, but of course he’d expect more from her.
“Come now, Alina.” Fuck him for that phrasing. “Impress me.”
She shuddered beneath him, trying to separate herself from the pleasure he’d coaxed through her so far. She couldn’t, not entirely—she didn’t want to—but she found a quiet place in her mind where the pleasure was warm and soft instead of an inferno, and in that space she urged it into a shape.
Light formed into a tongue, and she ran it from the base of his cock to the tip.
He arched sharp against her with a curse, burying himself in her cunt in a single stroke, and Alina moaned his name as she arched beneath him. Full, she felt so delicious full, and though there was a slight discomfort in the first second, that faded a moment later when her cunt rippled around him.
A different sort of pleasure spread through her, and she purred.
Her eyes opened. He stared down at her, his expression the most delicious combination of aroused and surprised and delighted. A lopsided, smug smile spread across her lips, a mirror of his from earlier.
“Impress me,” she said.
With a ragged chuckle, he bent his mouth to hers. “With pleasure, solnishko.”
He drew back slowly, and she sighed with pleasure. He thrust back into her, her hips arching to meet him, and she moaned. As he found an easy pace with her, she let herself down in the sweet friction.
The bonds around her wrist stretched. Fingers twined around her own, and she held them tight as he fucked her in long, easy strokes. Each time he pushed into her, her back bowed, and her body softened more.
She lost herself in their back and forth, content to float in the warmth of their shared pleasure. But he didn’t let her for long. His lips brushed against her ear. “Once more for me,” he told her.
She recognized the warning in those words a moment later when shadow tongues licked against her clit.
Electric pleasure strung her tight. Now, she clutched at the shadow hands holding her own as silky darkness licked her, as cool fingers stroked the swollen lips of her cunt. He played with her, layering her pleasures until she gasped his name and begged for him. Only then did he replace one shadow hand with his own and the shadows between her legs with his fingers.
The heat of him ruined her, shattered her. She came with his name on her lips, and he followed her mere seconds later, his body shuddering over hers.
They lay together, panting, for a long moment. Then he drew back, the cool shadows retreating as his cock slipped out of her body. Instead of pulling away entirely, he settled at her side, giving her most of the kefta.
She turned toward him, her fingers brushing over his jaw, his lips, his shoulders. “Are all your lessons in control going to turn out like this?” she asked him.
He made a thoughtful expression.
Scooting closer, Alina pressed a kiss to his mouth. “I’ve an idea for another lesson if you don’t.”
His brow arched. “Do you?”
“I want to try binding your wrists with light.” Interest flashed in his eyes, and she smiled. “I want to push you into your chair in the war room and bind your hands to its arms. Then I want to climb onto you and ride you.”
He stared at her, the look on his face equal parts aroused and bewildered. “You—”
“I grew up near farms,” she reminded him. “And then joined the military. Believe me: I have plenty of ideas for lessons.”
“You think you can keep control long enough to keep me bound to that chair?” he asked, a wicked growl in his voice.
Her body responded to that tone with a wash of pleasure, and she found herself hungry for more of him even though they’d just finished. Part of her wondered if that was normal—and she got her answer when he rolled her beneath him.
“The minute your control breaks, solnishko, I’m going to put you on your back on that table and fuck you until your screams summon the guards at a run.”
Wrapping her arms and legs around him, Alina grinned. “Maybe I’ll make you beg for that.”
With his face buried in her neck, he laughed. “I hope you do.”
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Hi Lati :) I'm a huge fan of The Rivers! I read in one of your responses to another ask that you record with FRAPS on a low-end laptop, but your videos always come out flawless! Whenever I try to record let's plays like this, I always come out with lag. May I ask for some of your tips for avoiding lag when recording? Thanks for all your amazing work :)
Hiii! I am so sorry I am just seeing this, I havent looked at my tumblr notifications in so long! I hope these tips can still help even though they're so late! But thank you so much 💖💖💖 I really appreciate it!
Tip #1. Keep the downloads folder small: For me, I feel like my game lags less the smaller my downloads folder is, so I make to sure to keep at least my gameplay folder small. A great tip ive been using to do this is to go into my game and delete swatches I dont care about. If you use pooklet recolors of hairs especially, you'll find that each hair color (Black, Brown, Blonde, Red, and Grey) usually come with 3+ swatches. So after downloading a bunch of hairstyles, I make sure to go into my game and keep 1 swatch from every hair color. That way, the game goes from 15 swatches of the same hair to just 5! It has helped me sooo much, without forcing me to abandon hairstyles that I like. The same with clothes: when a shirt, for example, would have 5-10 swatches, I make sure to keep just my 3-5 favorites! Does wonders.
Tip #2. Keep the sets simple: With filming, I've found that sets that are heavily packed with CC drop my FPS (which causes lags) way more than sets with simple CC - so i make sure not to go overboard. I know you asked as a lets play player, but just incase any machinima filmers are reading this, here's a trick i do: Instead of building huge sets, I film little boxes that are decorated from the inside and not at all from the outside. Take a high school set, for example. If I want to film in a classroom, I'll just build that classroom instead of a full on school with exteriors and unnecessary rooms that I won't use but would otherwise be found in a school like hallways. And, if I need an exterior shot, I'll just build a seperate lot that I wont mind how big it is because ill just need for that one shot. Its basically like real life shows, where they film exteriors of homes for example, but the actual set is just in one of those warehouses? Hope that makes sense. As for lets players, I would suggest to keep things simple and confined to one floor! Don't go overboard with CC, though I for one LOVE a cluttered house :'( But we gotta do what we gotta do!
Tip #3. Keep the neighborhood simple (or remove it all together): As a lets player I would of course recommend that you keep it simple as opposed to removing it all together, since that would look terrible for gameplay. Of course, its sad because a nicely decorated neighborhood does wonders for that "open world" feel that Sims 2 is missing, but ive found that doing too much CC wise in the neighborhood lags the game terribly. Also, you can turn off your neighbors while keeping the decorations on. I've found this to help immensely, especially in neighborhoods that have a lot of sims living in it. As long as you decorate your neighborhood right (while not going overboard), then you wouldn't even be able to tell the difference - except when it comes to the lagging! I havent played a game with neighbors on since those sims 4t2 deco homes were converted!
For machinima makers I'd go one step forward: If you have scenes that are inside, turn off your decorations all together! Instead decorate around any windows your set might have, and even use one of those mural CC thingies of landscapes should your series be set be in a city. I cant remember the last time I filmed an interior scene with neighbors + decorations on!
Tip #4. Dont overwork your laptop: Make sure you dont have other "demanding" programs open while you try and film. For me, I've found that the game lags a lot more when the laptop is being overworked and getting heated, so closing programs like Sony Vegas (or other video editing programs) and Photoshop (or other photo editing programs) helps a ton! Really, I make sure to film with just the game and FRAPS open
Tip #5. Lower the quality: Push comes to shove and you've found that your computer just isnt handling it? Lower the quality of your game. Nothing drastic of course, nothing that would compromize your quality too much, but some small things like turning off shadows, for example, can come a looong way without making the game look too weird. And, if you do use it, stop using reshade. As a machinima filmer, this is my last resort when everything else I've tried hasn't worked: to stop using reshade and edit post filming. It sucks, but we can make it work :')
I'd also recommend looking up other programs should the screen recording program you're using not work with you. I personally have found that Fraps is the most user friendly, and I cant be bothered to learn new programs, so its what I stick to, but there are other alternatives that people swear by (i hear a lot of sims people recommend Bandicam because Fraps lagged too much for them, so you can always check that out). Hope these helped, and again I'm so sorry for not seeing this sooner! 💖
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DAY 4472
Jalsa, Mumbai June 4, 2020 Thu 11:39 PM
Birthday - EF Mayur Sejpal .. Mandakini Patel .. Friday, June 5 .. in prayers and wishes for the safety of the times and the wishes for happiness ever ... love form the Ef ❤️
... and our immense gratitude for the wishes and the blessings that have poured in from the Ef and about .. much of what could be responded to was responded to .. but here the replies have been vacant .. but they have all been read and loved .. thank you ..
.. the rains bring the relief of the summer heat .. but bring on the other aspects too .. life is never steady .. it wanders about .. filled with surprises and challenges .. and tests our nerves and resilience .. and springs us over .. every day is a struggle .. never is there occasion to sit back and allow time to take over its whim and show compassion .. even in the resting there are the idiosyncratic revelations of the unseen unknown unheard ..
Life .. dear life .. so beautiful and filled with so much to spend on us .. we languor in its gifts .. and its willing nature of acceptance ..
AND .. then in a sudden swift move it reminds us what and where we stand ..
Stumbling about , finding our feet , we take great effort in stabilising ourselves .. momentarily .. for the time for reckoning veracity is short and limited .. get on to the boat in time and sail or else , the winds shall carry you away into unknown oblivion ..
ALL right enough depressive punchings .. brighten up the tomorrow .. live .. live the happy life ..
The publicity for the coming days on GiBoSiBo is and has its limitations but the marketing masters, never say die and bring in new and fresh ideas for the 12th of June Digital release of the film .. a first in India film History for a film of sizeable importance and worth .. not form my point of view - my point of view has become blurred and almost out of sight .. but yes for the others it is a novel experience and they hope as do we all that this fresh experiment brings in, true and honest fruits on the work that has been undertaken under some trying conditions ..
.. overlooked and guided by the designer of the film .. it bears the stamp of doing works that are different and in undeclared territory ..
.. Shoojit Sarkar is no mean director .. he is many creative beings in one form of his body .. an alumni of the prestigious NSD - the National School of Drama, his acting qualities far outweigh his qualities as a Director .. his own personal briefings of the nature of his characters he brings up, are the results of the performances seen .. for me at least all that I do or seem to do, are Shoojit in prosthetic make up .. each little detail is brought out and suddenly there is an ease of the following that he wishes for .. we do what he enacts for us .. for me at least there is no individual output .. it is all his doing .. he tells , I follow ..
in one of the pictures you see the dress I wear has openings form the back .. that is the directors input .. knowing we would we working in Lucknow at the peak of Summer .. the UP summer .. into at times 50 degrees Centigrade, he felt that I would be requiring frequent clothing changes due to the perspiration .. and changing the top with the prosthetics and hair would make if difficult for the actor if the buttons were in front .. the dress or the kurta would have to go off the top of the head to be removed .. but with the opening at the back it could be conveniently slipped off without going over the head .. it could been slipped of if in front too .. but then the front would look awkward .. so ..
.. the start of the shoot was always kept very early in order to not get into the sun in the late hours when at its maximum .. and give a break at noon with the overhead sun, also not convenient for filming camera light wise , to allow the evening to set in and cool down ..
.. the prosthetic make up is always an issue during hot weather .. it tends to melt away the sticking glue and destroy the prosthetic .. adequate care on set was taken then to keep the face cool .. its a requirement from the make up department .. one that I abhor .. the cooling systems on set , yes provide the air conditioned air , but then with the frequency of shots the continuous in and out of the cool into the heat is a bad precedent for me .. either I remain cool or remain hot .. and if this can be called a metaphor, a figure of speech, it is completely unintended .. !! 🤣
SO .. the early start is a nightmare for the prosthetic made up guy .. shot to be taken at sun rise by 6.30 am , means in the make up van at 3.30 am !!
... and yes when the entire shoot day is with that awkward walk .. the lower back simply breaks down .. cant sit cant lie down .. cant do nothing .. pain killers not allowed .. pain relieving sprays , be just sprays with no effect .. !!
... so want to be an actor .. get on with it , and stop complaining .. !
Amitabh Bachchan
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Cruel Touches
Fandom: TMNT Character: Raph Relationship: Raph/reader Request: Can I request a new reader story? One where rottmnt Raph constantly gropes and feels up the female readers butt cheeks and boobs and the reader getting tired of it asks him why he does that and then he says it’s because he likes her and then they have sex? Thanks! A.N: I focused more on the smut side. I hope you still enjoy it 😊
You fiddled with the zip of your jacket, but your fingers weren’t playing ball tonight, and the zipper was stiff. You had just walked back from a friends place when Raph had text you saying he was passing and was on your roof, if you wanted to meet for a little bit. And you weren’t going to turn down some quality time with the largest of the brothers. One thing you had discovered about Raph was he liked to touch you. Even if he walked past you with plenty of room, he would brush against you. If he had to take something from you, his fingers would touch you if only for a moment. Of course, this had slowly grown. Raph would place his hand a little too low on your back when passing you. You would sit down beside him, and on his hand despite him knowing you were sitting there. Not that you minded. You always made a point to walk closest to him, pressing against him at any change you got. If you hugged him, your whole body was pressed against his front. In truth, you were as bad as he was sometimes. But it never seemed to go anywhere. You really wanted more from him, and while the touches were nice, they weren’t enough. His touch was cruel sometimes. You took the lift to the top floor, which was the one your apartment was on, but you would have to climb a flight of stairs to get to the roof. It was a chilly night with a cold breeze. Thankfully, the tall building kept you reality sheltered from the wind but you knew the second you went onto the open roof, you would be hit by the cold. You prepared yourself as you stood by the door to the roof, but the moment you stepped outside, you lost your breath. “Its freezing.” You complained, rubbing your hands together as you walked out onto the roof top. “Do your jacket up then.” Raph smirked, coming out from the shadows to meet you. “Its an old jacket. The zips so stubborn. And my fingers are already frozen.” You raise your hands to your mouth and blow onto your poor fingers. A chuckle met your ears as Raph walked up to you. You were oddly transfixed with his dementor. He seemed quite confident with the way he walked, and yet there was an uncertainty in his eyes. Raph stood in front of you, reaching forward and taking both sides of your jacket. As he lined up the zipper, your hand dropped to your side as you watched his face, yet he seemed to focused on the task at hand. As his hand pulled the zip up, you noticed how his knuckles grazed against your front in its wake. He seemed to go slightly slower when he passed your chest. You couldn’t help but shake your head. “What?” he asked, like a deer caught in headlights as he pulled away. “Must everything you do be about touching me?” you raise an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms over your chest as he takes a step back. But you were smirking, and he seemed even more confused at that. “I didn’t think you noticed.” He mumbles, looking anywhere but you. “Oh, you don’t think I notice when you touch me?” you cock your head to the side before stepping closer and closing the gap. “Do you like it?” He manages to stand his ground, but only out of sheer curiosity. “Yeah, I just wish it would lead to more.” You shrug your shoulders, looking to the side as your arms drop to your side. “More?” Raph steps forward eagerly and you look back at him, seeing his eyes wide with hope. “Yeah, more. So, do those touches mean anything, or are they just touches?” You ask, wholeheartedly wanting to know the answer. There was no point pining for something if it wasn’t what he wanted. “No, they mean everything to me. You mean everything to me.” He speaks quickly as if trying to convince you his words were true. But you would tell by how he was looking at you that he meant it. But his words did take you a little off guard. You wondered if he really meant that. If he felt the same yearning you felt for him which cant be satisfied by a chase touch? But you wanted to find out, and you wanted his touch more than anything else. A thought pops into your mind as you smirk. “You know, you managed to get the zip up easy enough-“ You drop his hand so you were holding it in front of you. “-I wonder how skilled you are at undoing it?” Biting your lower lip, you saw your comment had certainly not gone over his head. Raph seemed to jump, as if a jolt of electricity had coursed through his body. And the same jolt drove himself forward, his lips meeting yours with such force you stumbled back. His hands grab your waist and he pushes you up against the wall, kissing you harshly. You drape your arms around his neck. His hands slowly snake up your body to your jackets zip just under your chin. He slowly undoes it, as if giving you a chance to stop him if you wanted. His fingers grazed over your breasts again, making you arch into his chase touch. This encouraged him to undo the zip with more urgency. His hands slipped under your jacket and began to roam your body freely. From your sides up to your chest and down to your ass. You moan into the kiss, arching your back as you try to keep any amount of sanity you had. But his touch sent fire through your veins. Suddenly, Raph stops. Panting, he is frozen in place as he pull back from the kiss. “Is, is this okay?” he asks, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “No.” you smirk. His eyes widen and you can see the fear in them. You go up on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his shoulders. “I need more.” Your words broke him as he picks you up, your legs wrapping around his torso and heels hitting his shell as he attacks your necks with sloppy kisses. Occasionally you feel his teeth graze against your skin, making you let out a small, shock gasp but your hands are on the back of his head to stop him retreating. Raph pulls you away from the wall, and you cling to him. “Lets take this inside. Don’t want you getting frost bite on your fingers.” Rah teased as you pulled back to question him. Your apartment was on the top floor, so Raph only had to carry you down a single set of stairs that led to the roof and you were home. He put you down to open the door, but that didn’t mean he left you alone. As you fumbled with keys, he stood behind you, his hands on your hips. They slipped down, groping your ass before sliding up and around to your stomach. You just manged to open your door and you both slipped inside before you lost your mind. You pulled your coat off, hooking it up. But as you turned to lock your door again, he was behind you again. His cold fingers slipped under your top, making you almost drop the keys as you stifle a moan. Leaning back against him, he leaned down and kissed your neck, earning a moan from you. As his hands went further up your front, he rose your top with them, eventually cupping your breasts in his hands, the fabric of your top exposing your bra. His fingers hooked into the cups of your bra, pulling them down. Glancing at him, you saw his eyes glued to your now exposed breasts from over your shoulder. You smirked, pressing your body back against his own as you feel his hard member as it pressed up against your ass. the fabric of your top fell over your tits slightly, but Raph made quick work of pulling it off over your head. You used the moment to raise your arms and, once rid of the garment, you reached back and locked your arms around his neck. A small growl left his lips as his hands returned to your breasts before dropping further. He reached down, hooking his fingers in your waistband and pulling your jeans down, along with your panties. once they had pooled around your feet, you stepped out of them and spread your legs about 2 foot apart. Arching your back, you pushed you ass against his straining member. “Oh fuck.” Raph growled as he leaned down to press open mouth kisses to your neck again. He made quick work of your bra, which fell to the floor. His hands slowly roamed your body, eliciting moans of pleasure as he grinded against you. He seemed almost unsure at first. It was almost as if Raph had been more confident when you had had clothes on, but then again it could just be him wanting to savour the feeling of your bare flesh. “You just gonna grope me all night or are you actually gonna fuck me?” You look up at him through your eye lashes, and you see him suck in a breath before nodding. You twist around in his arms. “So, which one is it?” You press your naked body against him. “Fuck you.” He tries to say, his lets out a groan when you reach down between your bodies and gently cup his large cock through his red shorts. “Huh?” You ask, innocently. “Im gonna fuck you.” He manages to finish the sentence without moaning, but then he sees your shit eating smirk. Raph picks you up, making you let out an unexpected yelp as he carries you to your bedroom, chuckling. You weren’t going to let him get the best of you, so you started to kiss his neck, paying particular attention to the area between his jaw and neck. Your attention pays off, as he faulters, letting out a low moan as his head rolls to the side, allowing you more access. He seems to only be able to focus on your lips for a few moment before remembering his original reason for having you in his arms as he snaps back to reality and uses his foot to kick open your bedroom door and carries you inside. He kneels on the end on your bed before lowering you down as he stays on top of you. His lips find your own and Raph kisses you almost shy. You almost giggle into the kiss, considering the brazenness he had displayed in your hallways as he undressed you. When he does pull away again, you are left gasping for air. He groans a little as his eyes trail down your body and find your wet core pressed against the outline of his cock. He pushes against you, making you whimper as the fabric rubs against your clit, your eyes closing for a moment. Suddenly, the weight of him is lifted. You open your eyes and see him clambering off the bed to pull down his shorts. You couldn’t help but bite your lower lip as he crawls back over you. As before, he rubs himself against you, earning another whimper from you before he positions his tip at your entrance. He pushes inside you, his fingers digging into your flesh as his head hangs forward, his mouth open. A breathy moan leaves his lips as you are left without a voice, unable to breath as he fills you. His hips give small, involuntary thrusts as he tries to wait for your signal to continue, which you give him by rolling your hips against his own. Raph groans at he picks up a steady pace that satisfied you both for the time being. His gaze lowered to your breasts and he watched them move with every trust of his. Leaned down, kissing the valley between them as one of his hands left your side to reach up and playfully squeeze your left breast. You arching your back into his touch as he left a trail of kisses back up to your neck. He paid attention to the same area you had done when he had carried you to the bedroom, and you instantly understood why he had stopped. The spot made you weak as you shudder, his tongue and teeth grazing the area before pulling away. “You’re cruel.” You moan softly, drawing his attention to your eyes. He raises his head, his eyes flickering over your face as he increases the speed and instantly get the reaction he had hoped for. You throw your head back, mouth open as a moan escapes your lips. “You’re beautiful.” He groans, resting his forehead on your shoulder as he grabs your hips. “So, that’s how its gonna be?” you look back at him. “You get to be cruel and throw a compliment my way to keep me quiet?” “You’re not being quiet.” He smirks as he raises your hips slightly, adjusting his angle and pushing in deeper than before. Another moan leaves your lips before you could answer back, proving his point for him. “Cruel.” You groan, your fingers tangling in the sheets as you gasp a little. He simply smirks before leaning back down and kissing the same area again. And you tilt your head to the side, allowing him better access to it. Between the new angle and his lips, you were getting closer and closer to your end. You notice the grunts and growls falling from his mouth as his eyes flit across your body. He was close too. “Don’t stop. Please.” You managed to moan despite the fact you were a moaning mess beneath him. your words earn a moan from his lips as he pulls back, his hips snapping faster and faster. Until you could take no more. Your eyes roll into the back of your skull as your orgasm claims your body. As your body spasms and your walls pulse around him, Raph lets out a low groan before his hips snap into you, spilling himself with a few more thrusts. Raph very nearly collapses on top of you right then and there. He felt light headed and weak, but manages to keep himself from suffocating you. He crawls off you, lying to your side while the only sound was panting. When you come back from your high, you realize your mouth is incredibly dry. “Thirsty?” you offer, sitting up and looking to Raph. He nods, and you get up. Grabbing a dressing gown, you pull it over your naked form and tie the belt loosely around yourself before leaving the room. Apparently, Raph didn’t want to be alone or away from you, because you heard a few creaks of the floor and some fumbling and he came out of the bedroom with his shorts back on. He follows you to the kitchen, pausing in the living room. “Hey, you wanna watch a movie?” He suddenly asks, making you turn and look at him. He drops your eyes, turning his head to the side as he rung his hands. he seemed so unsure of himself, despite the fact you had just had sex not 5 minutes ago. But you didn’t laugh. Perhaps he thought you wouldn’t want him around anymore, or wouldn’t want to spend time with him, or this was only a one time thing. In truth, you didn’t know the answer to the last question, but you really hoped it wasn’t. “Sure. Why don’t you chose something and I’ll get us something to drink.” You smile sweetly and continue to the kitchen. You poured two glasses of water and grabbed a bag of popcorn you had been saving. With the bag under your arm and the glasses in each hand, you went back to the living room just as the TV came on and the logos appeared on screen. Raph sat on your sofa, smiling when you came in. giving him his glass, you threw the bag on the seat beside him before putting your glass on the side. “Where you gonna sit?” Raph suddenly asked, his eyes flickering from the few single seaters to the seat beside him. “Where do you want me to sit?” You asked, wondering if was trying to tell you something. “as close to me as possible.” His eyes flicked to the TV as a blush appeared on his cheeks again. Smiling, you were more than happy to accommodate him. Walking up to him, you sat on his lap, both your legs pulled to one side as you draped your arm around his neck. “Is this okay?” You asked innocently. “Yeah.” He beamed, his arms locking around you for a moment before one settled on your side and the other slipped under your dressing gown to your bare thigh. You giggle, pressing a kiss to his cheek before you reached for the remote and pressed play on the movie. At least you could pause it, because you had a feeling you would be going for a round 2 tonight.
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ROCK AND A WARM PLACE
Part 1 | Part 2
Pairing: Kirishima Eijirou/F!Reader
Rating: M
Warning: Sex
Word count: 1,656words (total 3,166words)
A/N: i hope this turns out ok. this is the third time i wrote like this so im not sure if i like it or not but i hope yall do.
Kirishima doesn't waste any time, he pulls Y/N into his arms and starts kissing her. His hands start pushing her shirt up so his hands can travel across her skin. She breaks out in goosebumps and giggles slightly when Kirishima accidently tickles her sides. He smirks and pulls her closer, “Aww what's the matter Y/N?” he leans down asking her softly in her ear as he yanks her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist. Y/N moans softly feeling him manhandle her. Kirishima grins against her neck hearing the moan. He starts walking to the living room until Y/N stops him, “my room.. Please I need you” she begs him, kissing him deeply. He groans into her mouth but nods, he takes them to her room where he sets her gently down on the bed.
She starts pulling off her shirt but Kirishima stops her. He takes the hem of her shirt in his hands and starts to pull the garment off her slowly. Once its off he starts kissing her again softly pushing her back to the bed as he palms her breast in one hand and begins to unhook her bra with his other. Once the infernal contraption is off all bets are off, his mouth lowers and he snags one of her nipples into his mouth lightly nipping and sucking on the nub. She cries out her hands going to his hair grabbing it and tugging on the red strands. He groans and redoubles his efforts. Soon he pulls away from her chest and sits up and smirks. He grabs the bottom of his shirt and takes it off.
He grabs her pants and helps her take them off leaving her in just her panties. He then shucks his own pants leaving him in his boxers. He comes back to the bed and pushes her thighs open putting one of his between her legs so it was right up against her center. It caused her to roll her hips against him whimpering and moaning. Kirishima groans against her nipple as he feels how her center is getting wetter from his attention. He grinds his thigh against her cunt, causing her to whine and writhe against him. He smirks and begins sucking on the skin on her neck as he takes the waistband of her panties into his hands and starts pulling them off her throwing them over his shoulder to the floor, he pushes his boxers off so now both of them are naked.
Kirishima smiles as he settles himself between her legs, his hand going to her face so he can kiss her. “Y/N, if you want to stop or you are not sure tell me. I love you and don't want to make you do something if you are not into it.” he kisses her sweetly. Y/N smiles “Eijirou, trust me if i didn't want this i would have stopped you way before now. I want this. I want you. So please stop teasing me and just fuck me already” Y/N says rolling her hips as she sasses Kirishima. He raises an eyebrow at her words as he leans down to kiss her deeply. His hands slide down her body to her thighs where he grabs her and yanks her legs around his waist as he guides himself into her.
Both groan at the feeling. He takes it slow and feeds himself into her until he feels their hips connect. He stills as his eyes close from feeling her around him. She moans and her back arches causing her chest to rub against his. He wraps one arm around her back holding her against him as he starts to move against her slowly. She clenches around him whining her arms going up to thread themselves around his neck. Her hands thread themselves into his hair. She yanks on his hair putting her mouth near his ear. “Harder Eiji, please! I can take it fuck me harder.'' She begs him her voice coming out as a raspy breathy quality from the moaning.
Hearing her ask for it harder causes Kirishima to grunt and put his hands on her hips as he sits up on his knees and holds her still as he starts pounding her harshly. She screams as her body starts thrashing as she starts cumming on his cock. It causes him to grunt and moan “yeah Y/N. that's it, cum on my cock. Ugh. fuck baby your so fucking tight.” he starts thrusting against her harder “fuck Y/N im going to cum your so fucking tight. I fucking love you. Fuck” he tires to pull out of Y/N but her legs wrap themselves around his waist so he cant move he slightly panics “baby let me go. Please. I'm gonna cum-” “I want you to cum in me Eiji. please i love you and i want it please cum in me. I'm clean and I'm on birth control” Y/N pleads as she moves her body against his.
Kirishima groans and wraps his arms around Y/N’s shoulders his hips start hammering her hips as he pants into her ear “you want me to cum in you baby? Beg for it. Beg me to cum in you. Be my slutty little girl and beg for my cum”. Hearing him say that makes Y/N moan “please, please cum in me. I need it. I need you to cum in me.” she begs, her voice breathless as she pulls his head down so she can kiss him deeply as they continue moving against each other. Hearing her beg for his cum makes Kirishima go crazy his hips start pounding Y/N as he starts telling her how much he loves her. That she’s all he could think of to get off. That there was never anyone else for him because any time he tried to date someone else all he could do was compare them to her and they always came up lacking. Y/N just moans again as she feels her body shaking as she gets closer to cumming a second time. Feeling Y/N twitch and shake around him causes Kirishima to grab her tighter and buck into her.
Y/N screams out as she cums around his cock again for the second time that night. Her head falling back exposing her slim neck to Kirishima. He latches his mouth to her tender neck. When Kirishima finally cums, it hits him hard. He roars out Y/N’s name and then drops his head to her shoulder as he pants harshly. Both of them are panting and sweaty. When Kirishima pulls out of Y/N both gasp from the overstimulation. He then collapses next to her on the bed and just reaches out to her and pulls her limp body into his and cuddles her while they both catch their breath.
After some time he gathers the energy to get up and pick up Y/N and takes her to the bathroom and starts running a bath for the two of them. He gently sets her in the tub, before climbing in himself. He lets her settle herself against his chest. Kirishima starts to gently wash her hair making sure to not get any of the soap into her eyes. After that he rinses the soap out and grabs her conditioner and starts working that into her hair. While that is soaking in he grabs a wash rag and her shower gel and starts to wash her body gently so as to not overstimulate her anymore than he already has.
After he’s made sure she’s as clean as he can get her, he rinses out the conditioner and just as he’s about to start washing his own hair he’s stopped by Y/N taking the shampoo out of his hands and pours a small amount into her hands and sits on her knees to start washing his hair. She has him lean forward so she can reach the back of his head and he takes advantage of it and kisses her neck. She giggles softly and nudges him back so she can put conditioner in his hair and then grabs the same rag he used on her and begins washing him. Y/N takes the same amount of care as Kirishima did to make sure to not overstimulate him. Because even gently wiping him down caused him to wrap his arms around her waist and burying his face into her neck whining. She laughs softly but just gently strokes his back and taps him to get him to sit up so she can rinse the conditioner out of his hair.
Kirishima gets out first to grab both himself and Y/N a couple towels. He wraps his towel around his waist and then uses the second towel to dry his hair. He hands Y/N her two towels. Y/N dries herself off and wraps one towel around herself after wrapping her hair up with the second towel. The two of them head back to her room. While Y/N is getting dressed Kirishima heads to the spare room and grabs a set of spare clothes he had kept in there for nights he didn't feel like heading back to his apartment. Kirishima went back to Y/N’s room where he found her lying in bed waiting for him and smiling. “Come on Eiji” she pats the spot next to her. He vaults himself onto the bed and scoops her into his arms. She giggles. The two settle on the bed as they both just relax into each other. They both fall asleep curled around each other just relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. Kirishima tighten his arms around Y/N to cuddle her close and drops a small kiss to the crown of her head.
#gin writes#bnha kirishima#bnha kirishima eijirou#kirishima x reader#bnha eijiro kirishima#mha kirishima#bnha y/n lovers#bnha smut
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Sigh. Chibnall.
Jodie Whittaker and demographic realism
So I want to make clear that I have no problems whatsoever with Jodie Whittaker’s performance - the character seamlessly kept walking across the screen, she has great energy, love the steampunk goggles.
Honestly I’ve always believed that giving existing characters a demographic change is not really as revolutionary or helpful as ppl think; New characters and stories (esp. told by writers of those samedemographics) solve the problem much better. Keeping specificity is often better than losing it, and the character still has a background (from an “advanced” civilization that used to do dirty deeds and is still kind of uppity attitudes, a character who’s decided to be against that attitude but still needs to be knocked own from the occasional uppity moment; It makes sense for them to look like a british dude, and they have the freedom to go wherever problems like sexism and racism don’t exist so... ), and will be linked to its origin. But at worst something that will look dated in a few years like the 80s outfits, the show’s done dated and crowdpleasing before; There’s no hard reason not to do it and I expected no quality dip.
It certainly worked as as attention grab, the premiere drew a lot of attention but that only lasted as long as it took for the reviews to go sour. But one of the main good things its proponents said could come of it was to help the lack of female anti heroes. So far she really didn’t get to anti hero much; It’s not Whittaker, it’s the scripts.
I want to make this clear: Varied demograpics are good;
This is why I kind of hate the term “diversity” is one of those vague euphemisms if you mean “demographic representation”, “social equity” or “demographic realism” just say that.
In a way this is a good thing, it used to be only the best boldest writers who could get away, noadays it has become acceptable to have varied casts. And that’s how it should be artshouldn’t have to have to pass some arbitrary quality standard to simply reflect reality. But as the rebootverse and star trek discovery should’ve proved realistic demographics can’t replace good writing. Sometimes lack of realistic demographis is associated with bad writing because both come from play-it-safe more-of-the-same consummerism focussed sameyness, often someone who goes against the formulas has a solid vision which makes them good, and focussing on ignored topics and perspectives can yield new ideas (consider stuff like Wonder Woman, Get Out, Black Panther... which were just good, novel movies) but you could have a super interesting memorable story where everyone is a medieval european monk, but the characters are differentiated by personality, attitude, beliefs, or something where the cast ticks all sort of all demographic boxes but the characters are 1D and the story trite and predictable
On the one hand you get those gamergate adjacent fanboys who make “diversity” and “good writing” out to be enimical opposites and then you have the purists/antis who treat any critique of writing to be founded in having something against realistic demographics. You need both!
Series 11
There were good things about it: An attempt at leastto do more of your classic thought provoking space operas or going back to the shows’ pulp fiction roots, covering some historic periods/topics other than the classic historical fiction tropes (they got a pakistani writer, had Yaz and Ryan discuss social topics among themselves etc.), the emotional story centered around this family coping with a loss, having Ryan sort of be the “main” companion and the one the rest of the team is protective of
But overall the reason I didn’t rush to watch s12 as soon as it came out is that it was a bit... bland. The team interacted mostly with each other; The Doctor had more charge with one shot characters like King James or the Solitract than she really did with the companions. Graham was such a missed opportunity. Remember how everyone loved the dynamic with Wilfred? No attempt to strike a bond over how they’re the older party members, or the professional xenophile trying to nudge the bilbo baggins like reluctant hero? We’re told the Doctor really likes Yaz, and I believe it cause she always liked people like that, but are we shown?
For all that Moffat and RTD were very different writers with different strenghts and weaknesses, both were very character-driven writers, and that was really missing here a bit.
Some ppl said they didn’t give Yaz enough screentime or personality - but the thing is, they did try. They just failed. They let her make little remarks here and there about her homelife, they just never really assembled into a whole beyond buzzwords and inspirational platitudes and the Standard Companion Traits. I didn’t get a read on what she’s about or who she’s like until the pakisan episode where she unlike Barbara, Donna etc. immediately accepted that the past can’t be changed. Ah, I finally thought, she’s a very responsible dutiful person.
Everything lacks edges and defining moments.
So far, I didn’t sweat it. I though, ok, not everything can be the high-concept character driven spec fic epic type of story that is my personal favorite. Every time there was some addition to the mythos in any way someone cried ruined forever. When the time lords first appeared. When the time war was introduced.
The classics too were lower on the character driven ness; Still good pulp fiction content. (imho the character concepts themselves were often pretty good, just not used to the fullest and some of the actresses were treated crappy backstage)
I thought “okey, it wouldn’t be good to break with the tradition of making the sussequent incarnations contrasting”
I did think that there was much liberty with the additions which the others did do only towards the end when it feltmore earned, but, the addition of say, sisters, isn’t too disruptive
Series 12 and the Timeless Child Nonsense
The frustrating thing about this is that it COULD have been good.
The Master teaming up with the cybermen to try and take over Gallifrey is precisely the sort of story the classics would’ve done.
“Your society is founded on a shady secret and exploitation of the innocent” is a good plot twist especially in these times. The Master finding that secret and using it to his advantage - also very him.
Imagine what it could have been like if it had been approached from the perspective of someone who, for all that they were a rebel, still sort of profited from being part of that society, someone who wants to take responsibility for that past and would maybe have to make some tough choice to let the exploitation victim go because it’s right even if it has cosequences for themselves and their civilization.
but then you ruin that by immediately taking the protagonist out of that society. They and they alone are the victim.
like this plot could have been good except for the twist that the Doctor and the timeless child are the same.
Not connecting it to existing lore about the earlier war game days, everything with Omega and Rassilon, that bit about the Time Lord becoming what they were through exposure to the untempered schism... that might be forgiven. Even if it does stretch the suspension of disbelief that every single piece of sci fi scanning equipment in the show didn’t pick anything up; Not to mention that it destroys the stake on every heroic sacrifice or death prophecy plot, every time a companion or oneshot character took the bullet, the whole “out of regens” plot...
This is not me being mad about things being added or changed, but this being done in such a way that undermines the philosophy, the whole flavor...
Yes, the MC is mysterious, the 7th Doctor arcs did a lot with this etc. but doesn’t spelling something out this clear not deplete rather than add to that? It#s a definite answer even if the final origin isn’t clear.
But they’re so much else.
The trickster hero accomplishing great deeds with planning, guile, improvisation and duct tape, the implicit value that ressourcefulness trumps raw power.
The rebel, different because they chose to be or made themselves to be such through their adventures, sticking to their own values in a close-minded society - who embodies & encourages thinking for yourself in every situation and universal plot, who battles enemies like the Daleks and Cybermen that represent comformity
Yeah they have many names yeah they take out gods... but all this was the result of their actions & path in pursuit of knowledge, and also, as Moffat once stated, the funny part is that behind all the fearsome reputation is wit and duct tape.
The fish in a small pond who started out a misfit, failed their tardis driving exam... etc. and often made a point that they didn’t want immortality or endless godlike power. That’s meaningless if they had it to begin with.
The explorer who wanted to see more than their corner of the world.
The ANTI HERO that’s made alltogether too tragic here, too absolved from their uppity civilization
All that is wiped away if they were this special creature to begin with.
Where WAS the philosophy, rly? The big humanist speeches that made me love the show.
Going Forward
So I think - I HOPE - that this in particular will be treated like the “half human” thing from the TV movie or the now josses additional origin stories from the audios, or be handwaved under the “you cant get it wrong cause everything is in flux” carpet
It’s the Master effing with her to pay her back for the half broken chameleon arch thing.
It’s possible the Child actually existed, long dead or trapped somewhere - again, dirty mystery at the bottom of a stck-up society is a good twist. but this shouldn’t be more than another maybe in the multiple choice past not a definite answer.
Also, i hate this line of thought but I can’t stave it off: Why is is now that the MC looks female that we get this vulnerable, passively victimized tomato surprise rather than something with an ugly but definite choice in it.
I will probably ignore it - parts of me resents this cause “your civilization is based on a lie” could be such a good plot twist (then again the existing twists to that end from the classics and End of Time do enough rly) but if i have to choose between that and the basic meaning of the character....
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6. The super long kiss that wasn’t intended
He knows he should be watching the treeline. Sat beside Nott at the front of the cart, Molly knows that he ought to be scanning the tree line for any potential threats to their merry band as they weave their way through the valley. But he just can’t seem to get himself to focus on the slow passing trees as Nein marches southward. His gaze keeps slipping from the road, as he glanced over his shoulder at the wizard curled up in the back of the cart.
As to be expected, he’s got a book propped up in his lap. One of the spellbook he keeps strapped to his side, Molly notes, as he carefully and meticulously sifts through their recent spoils. The faint hum of arcane energy hangs in the air around him. It pricks at the back of Molly’s neck, making the hair there stand on edge and that’s why he’s been so distracted, and certainly not because Caleb looks so darling and content with his task, a small smile curling at the corner of his lips.
No, Molly thinks wryly to himself, it’s certainly nothing to do with that. Not at all.
He swings his legs over the side of the cart bench, earning and disgruntled yelp from Nott as she’s jostled by the movement. Molly ignores this, instead watching Caleb’s, dare he says, giddy smile as the pearl clasped tight in his hand dulls, and he picks up the bracelet he’s been inspecting. Sliding off the bench, Mollymauk seats himself cross legged at the perimeter of Caleb’s pile of spoils, resting his cheek to his fist.
“Anything interesting?”
Caleb starters, but only a little, his head jolting up and eyes blinking as he takes in the new addition to his ring of shiny things. Molly offers him a curling, close mouth smile in lue of a proper greeting.
Caleb nods, pulling at his beard. “Ja, this-” he gestured vaguely over the lot of stuff, a crooked grin on his face. “This ist gut. There is a lot a usefully things here.”
“Almost finished then?” Molly asks.
“Oh yah, I just have to look over these rings for Jester, you know, and then that will be all of it but ahhhh- you have come over here? Is- is there something you need?” the thrill the magic gives him, seems to bear wearing off and Molly can see Caleb slowly receding back into his shell. And that simply won’t do.
He shrugs “Not particularly. This is fascinating, by the way.”
Caleb lowers his gaze to his spellbook. He twiddles and twists the pearl between his fingers and Molly tracks the movement because that’s fascinating too. Caleb’s long fingers rolling the small bead between them is truly something and he can feel the slight flush crawling up his neck.
“You have seen me identify objects before,,,” Caleb mutters.
“And I find it thrilling every time!” he says. He leans forward so his elbows are pressed into his knees. “I think it’s just wonderful, that. How you can learn all of that stuff just from looking at it for a few minutes. It’s very impressive!”
Caleb shrugs, but Molly spies a phantom of a smile touching the corner of his mouth and he finds himself beaming all the wider for it.
“Well you know, there is a bit more to it then that but it is ahhh,, nerd shit.”
“What I’ve learned from traveling with the lot of you terrible people is that nerd shit tends to be the shit that keeps us alive. It’s very useful shit. Don’t sell your shit short Caleb, it’s very good shit! Quality, even.” he says. Somewhere to the right of him, he can hear Jester cackling. He keeps his eyes and his smile trained on Caleb, who’s actually turned a bit to face him.
“Ha ha.” it’s not a laugh, not really. It more just the noise, but it��s so endearing that Molly’s insides squirm with delight at the sound. “I suppose you are right- about that at least.”
“You’d be surprised by how much I’m right about, actually.” Molly says.
This time Caleb does laugh, even if all it is a huff of air. “Mister Mollymauk.”
“Mister Caleb”
The pearl rolls between his thumb and forefinger. “Would you like learn a magic trick? I, you know, I have tried teaching Jester before, and umm, Beauregard but, they don’t, well, they really do not have the patience for this sort of thing.”
He cocks his head to the side. “And you think I do?”
“I have seen you mend your coat.” Caleb says, actually leveling his clear blue gaze on Molly, effectively pinning him in place. “That embroidery is your handy work, hmm? Something like that takes a lot of time.”
Molly draws back so that he’s sitting up straight. “Well as flattering as it is to know you keep eye on me.” Caleb flushes. “-I don’t think I’m quite clever enough to do what it is you do dear.”
Magic, at least, the magic Caleb does, seems to require a lot of reading, and reading has never really agreed with Mollymauk Tealeaf. It makes his eyes hurt and his whole brain revolt against him, can even give him a terrible headache if he forces himself to work at it for too long.
Caleb’s brows draw together, forming deep creases between his eyes. “It is not that hard.” he says.
Molly flashes him a tight smile. “Yes, but I’m not that smart.”
The wizard shuts his spellbook with a forceful snap that makes Molly’s tail jump and curl up behind him. “Come here, Mollymauk.” Caleb says, commands really, Molly thinks with a shiver. “I will not force you, if you do not wish, but do not withhold just because you think that you might not be clever enough. I will be the judge of that.”
“Well when you put it so nicely,,,” Molly says, praying to the Weaver that he sound relatively unaffected by whatever that was. He slides over so that he’s sitting next to Caleb, instead of across from him. “So, what will I be learning then?”
Caleb hesitates, but only for a moment before he opens his book back up, and shuffles over so that Molly can see the pages, balancing it on his knee.
“Something simple, I think.”
“Oh goody.”
Even the creak of the branches in the wind sounds ominous, which Molly thinks is rather ridiculous and painfully cliche. His blade, glowing with a warm, white light, is wrapped up in the tails of his coat to dull it’s radiance as Molly creeps along low in the brush. The Nein had decided, against Molly’s better judgement, decided to travel a few hours past sunset.
“The next town isn’t that far, guys.” Jester had told them, brandishing the map with the same ferocity with which she handles her sickle. “We’ve been on the road for daaaaaaaaaaays and my feet are getting all tired and gross from walking so much and I just want to sleep in a bed and not in the grass and wake up with like, bugs in my hair and stuff.”
So they’d marched on, and now they’re paying the price because not only is it a good couple of hour past sunset, but they’d been assaulted by some ruffians. Taking advantage of the exhausted state of the party, they’d managed to stop them, rob them, and make off with Jester’s haversack of holding. With so much of their valuable shit in that bag, they’d decided to give chase, and had gotten spread pretty thin in the processes. Which, isn’t such a bad thing, Molly’d been able to pick off a few of the bandits, spread thin themselves, quickly and quietly. But he’s worried about everyone else. If they were unlucky enough to run into more of the bastards then they could handle alone, with Jester possible very, very far away. That could make things a bit more sticky.
Of course, they’re all pretty capable, decently strong. And yet,,, Molly’s worried about some, specifically squishy members of their party.
He’ll- they’ll be fine.
He marches on deeper into the woods.
A bit of time later, the sound of muffled voices hit Molly’s ears. Not long after does he spy the flicker of firelight through the leaves, painting speckled shadows along forest floor.
Molly pauses a moment, tucking himself against a rotting old tree trunk. Peeking over the top of it he can just barely make out a group of darkened figured, hooting and hollering like idiots around a makeshift camp. Why do petty thieves always do that? Make a whole fucking ton of noise that gives away their position. Every single band of thieves he’s ever run into does it. It’s just not smart. Though, if they were smart enough to understand that they probably wouldn’t be out here robbing well seasoned mercenary groups, he thinks. He counts the shadows, or at least he tries to. The back lighting from the fire is fucking up his night vision but he thinks he sees four or five distinct individuals. Too many to take out alone.
Reaching into his pocket with his free hand, he pulls out a little piece of wire. Its difficult, harder with only one hand, but he manages to wrap the bit of copper around his finger and brings it up to his lips. He points out into the woods in the general direction he thinks he saw people running. “Found a group of them. Looks like five maybe? North. Just past that one rock that looks remarkably like a penis. Oh ! and you can reply to this message” he whispers into his fist.
Molly does this eight more time, hoping that if he casts a wide enough net he’ll be able to get in touch with at least some of the Nein. Between not knowing exactly where everyone is and the, frankly concerning, fizzle of the spell against his lips he not sure how many of them got the message. On the fourth time, he hears Jester’s cackling rattling around in his skull. It’s a horrible bizarre feeling that makes his skin tingle,and not even in the fun way. On the sixth one he hears Beau’s exasperated “real fucking mature, man” and has to stifle a chuckle. On the last one, it’s Caleb’s voice ringing around in his skull.
“I see the rock you are talking about. oh- ja it does look like a dick.” He says. “I am making my way over to you now.”
Molly waits, one eye on the trees around him, one on the group of bandits, watching for any strange movement. Maybe one of them will come over here to take a piss. He could take them out nice and quite, and that would be one less shit head to deal with.
The bushes to his right rustle and Molly tightens his grip on his sword. Caleb comes sprinting out of the underbrush towards him, crouched low to the ground to avoid being spotted. Molly can’t even even get a word of greeting out before Caleb is suddenly upon him, hands reaching to curl around the lapel of his coat.
The wizard is positively beaming at him, his face cracked with a wide smile Molly has only ever seen him give Nott. His eyes are practically glowing, wide and excited and full of pride. He’s on Molly in an instant huddled against the rotten log alongside him and Molly is stunned.
“You cast message!” Caleb says, barely able to keep his voice to a stage whisper for the excitement. His hands come up, cupping Molly’s face between them and immediately the teifling feels himself start to color. Thumbs rub over his cheeks, Caleb squishing his face between his calloused palms “You cast the spell, you did the thing that I showed you! Oh! I am so proud! I am so proud of you! You are brilliant Mollymauk. I could kiss you!”
Well, that makes Molly’s heart do all sorts of ill advised and complicated gymnastics in his chest.
He puts a shaking hand on Caleb’s knee. “Don’t say thing you don’t intent to follow through on, Mister Caleb.”
Brain seeming to have caught up with his mouth, Caleb pales, then flushes a deep scarlet. His hand stay cupped around Molly’s cheeks, though they do lessen they’re squeezing a bit. His gaze falls past Molly’s right shoulder. “I ahh- right. I was- well I got a little excited I suppose,,,”
“Happens to the best of us.” he gives Caleb leg a friendly jiggle “Your secret’s safe with me”
Caleb chuckles.
They don’t move. They’re still dreadfully, painfully close. Annoyingly, not close enough. He watches as Caleb’s gaze flickers back over to his face. Watches the way his sharp, ever curious blue eyes trace the curve of his palm where it’s pressed into Molly cheek, all the way down to the corner of his mouth. He leans in.
The center of gravity suddenly shifts and Mollymauk Tealeaf finds himself crashing against Caleb’s warm mouth. Its quick, but it’s everything.
Caleb presses his lips firmly to Mollymauk’s for a brief moment, pulling him in with the fingers still curved around his jaw. Molly gasps, fingers tightening around the fabric of Caleb’s pant leg. He lets his eyes flutter shut. And then the warmth is gone and Molly opens his eyes to see the wizard staring at him, wide eyed and flushed. Still his hands don’t move from Molly’s face.
“I should not have done that. I-”
Molly brings his other hand up to the back of Caleb’s neck and pulls him forward. Their lips meet again and Molly can taste the crackle of arcane power that lingers on them. It shoots a thrill down his spine. The hand on Caleb’s knee tangles into the coarse fur lining of his coat and Molly sigh, deep and wanting against the other man’s mouth.
To his glorious surprise, Caleb responds in kind. His hands begin to move, one sliding down his face to rest at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, those long, scholarly fingers spanning across his throat, making Molly shiver. The other tangles into the short curls at the back of his neck, drawing Molly even closer.
Molly breaths through the kiss, eyes shut tight as he focuses on the feeling. Of dry and ragged ruined lips against his own. On the slight scratch of stubble against his chin and the rough pads of Caleb’s fingers on his skin. He feels exactly like he looks, coarse and rough around the edges. Nothing like the soft, sweet smelling hired company that Molly’s used to. He finds he likes this much better. The earthy smell that clings to weather battered skin, mixed in with faint hints of whatever spell components line Caleb’s pockets. Licorice and molasses.
Caleb sighs against him, tilting his head for a better angle. Molly puts all other thoughts out of his head. Forgets about the bandits at his back, and his friends stomping through the underbrush. Even forgets about their stole bag of good. He put his facilities to better use, memorizing the shape and heat of Caleb’s lips against his own
Molly parts his lips and prods at Caleb’s lower lip with the twin prongs of his forked tongue, makes a soft sound of pleasure as Caleb’s fingers tighten in his hair. Caleb jumps under his hands, pulling away. He desperately wants to follow, but Molly let him go, keeping fingers folded against the lapels of his coat, half to keep himself grounded, half to keep Caleb from bolting before he can find his voice again.
“Don’t you dare apologize for that.” He crooks out after a moment.
Caleb stares at him with blown out blue eyes. He swallows, runs a hand across his jaw. His fingers linger against his lips. “Ja- okay,,, That was ahhh-”
“That was good.” Molly assures him, stroking fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.
Caleb nods, looking a little unsure. “Gut, ja. You know, uhh maybe we should- should, you know- maybe we could do that again, sometime. But I think we should probably take care of those bandits first.”
A smile splits Molly’s face. “Think we can take them, just the two of us?
“No.” Caleb hands come back around to cup his cheeks, then slip down, coming to rest against the front of Molly’s coat “We are pretty tough, but you said that there were at least five of them. I do not want us taking any unnecessary risks.” he starts fidgeting with Molly’s coat, adjusting it on his shoulder and smoothing out the silk with his hands. “Clever boy.” Molly says, fondness laced into his words.
Caleb doesn’t meet his gaze, but he does smile.
The sound of twigs snapping catch their attention and moments later Beau comes slinking out of the bushes, a new bruise swelling up over her eye. Caleb hands fall away. Molly keeps fingers pressed lightly against the side of his knee.
“That’s a good look on you.” he says, once Beau is close enough.
“Thanks asshole.” Beau wedges her way between the two of them, elbowing Molly in the stomach as she does.
He whizzes out a pained laugh.
#critical role#widomauk#caleb widogast#mollymauk tealeaf#request closed#midnigtwrites#this is soft yall
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Hey I loved your fic with Buhguul and a stressed reader. Can I please ask for the same but instead it would be with how Patrick Bateman or Harry Warden would care for a reader?
thank you! 💕
(also im sorry these took so long-im afraid their quality doesnt make up for it lol, i hope these are okay)
patrick bateman x stressed s/o
you had been sitting there for what felt like, and, in all probability, most likely was, hours. patrick’s usual spotless living room was now in disarray, folders and papers with scribbled unintelligible shorthand and crude sketches littered everywhere, with you, a picture of haggard exhaustion, eyes drooped with dark circles and painted with red lines that displayed your dilapidated state of being for all to see, positioned in the center of the chaos. body slouched over the heap of work before you, the crinkle of papers was the only sound audible in the empty space, besides that of the gentle hum of the new york city’s night life beginning to emerge from the shadows for a period of lawless play, sin hidden from the eyes of the exposing rays of daylight as the sun dipped below the crimson skyline.
you knew that you would eventually have to surrender to your aching body and clean up the mess you had made, as patrick would be home soon, and you knew that the sight of his apartment in such disorder would not spur a pleasant reaction. not wishing to flirt with such a dangerous notion, you decided that you should return the space to its original immaculate state sooner rather than later. with a heavy sigh, you picked yourself up from the floor, bones cracking and muscles stretching with a stab of pain, resisting the sudden movement. one by one, the work is picked up from the floor with aching hands, stuffed into their according folders, and though the incessant work disappears from sight, it lingers in your head like a throbbing tumor, keeping you from enjoying any moment of real peace. the folders are placed lazily on the coffee table, and you slump to your previous position on the floor, eyes glazed and staring at the now organized stack of unfinished papers.
even when the shuffling outside the door becomes audible and the sound of keys fitting into the lock reaches your ears, the door opening and the sound of tom ford oxford loafers stepping into the apartment pierces your silence, you remain in your trance, all of your senses numbed by your prostrated condition. heels clicked sharply on the floor, patrick walking further into the room, his sense of authority almost materializing as a tangible presence, his cold and almost foreboding demeanor suffocating the air. your partner was a powerful man, and though you were well aware of the threat he posed at all times, you had grown used to his degenerated mien, and became accustomed to his constant attitude of superiority, the perverted manner with which he held himself.
“what are you doing, y/n?”
patricks voice sounded peculiar, more peculiar than his normal tone. the facade of the typical upper class businessman had not yet faded away, his voice still carrying the faux sincerity that every yuppie in the entire state spoke with.
“work,” you mumbled, rubbing your inflamed eyes with weary hands.
“what did you say? i cant hear you when you mumble.”
his voice developed a more sinister undertone, a threatening connotation that you knew was not to be provoked further.
“work,” you repeated, this time fully articulating yourself. you didnt look over at him, head still resting in your palms.
your heard the heels begin to click across the floor again, increasing in sound as the man made his way over to you. you felt him sit on the couch behind you, body stiff, tense, like a predator ready to claim its prey. he was always like this. you had no idea how he maintained such a defensive state around the clock, how his mind could handles such endless rigidity. after a bit of an awkward silence, patricks hand finds its way to your hair, smoothing stray strands and feeling them on his skin. he continues to play with your locks, starting to almost pull on them, though it isnt to the point of pain. you sigh and try to relax your body, leaning back into his strong hands. his begins to pull harder on your hair, occasionally wrapping fistfuls in his palms, and small twinges of pain begin to take root in your scalp.
you say his name in an attempt to signal to him that hes hurting you, but he doesnt seem to hear, or he just doesnt listen. his hand wraps around your soft hair, suddenly gripping it and tugging on it with force. you let out a surprised cry and instinctively jump away, your hand going up to touch your head.
“patrick!” you scold, looking back at him. you can barely muster the energy to reprimand your lover, and youre sure that your words are not very intimidating, with obvious exhaustion laced in your voice and written on your face. patrick sits with his elbows resting on his knees, observing you with no expression. it appears that both of you are lost in your own little worlds.
“that hurt,” you say, hoping to reach him this time. nothing. he watches you still with emotionless eyes. the two of you sit in silence before he suddenly speaks.
“do you want to go out to dinner? wherever you want.”
his lips twist into a smile, but you do not reciprocate it.
“if you want to,” you sigh, knowing that trying to bring up the previous topic is useless. “im feeling really tired today. work is getting to me.”
there is another period of silence, and you see patricks face begin to change. it almost becomes darker, menacing.
“we could…do something else,” patrick suggests, his words practically dripping with a malicious nuance, immediately alerting you as to what he has in mind.
“no, patrick. you might like butchering people, but i dont. thats youre thing, not mine.”
patricks grin only grows wider at your words.
“whats the name of your boss again? i cant seem to remember.”
“no.”
“you said work was stressing you out, didnt you?”
“yes-“
“so let off a little steam, y/n, it’ll be a blast,” he interrupts, a wild look beginning to form in his eyes, excitement growing in his voice.
you let out a groan and turn away from him, putting your aching head back in your hands.
“im gonna call it a night, patrick.”
you gather yourself from the floor and attempt to leave the room, but a wrist grabs your hand with a tight grip, stopping you from going any further. you turn you gaze to patrick, who suddenly stands, bringing himself closer to you, his breath hot on your neck.
“dont you want to let off some steam, y/n?” his smile is wolfish and predatory, eyes locked in on his prey held firmly in his grasp. his free hand grazes the skin of your shoulder, his deviant intentions clear even through something as innocent as a slight touch. “you know i can make you feel better.”
his advances are appealing, but any activity with patrick is rather risky, and youd rather not wake up with the task of covering hickey after countless hickey, wrapping bite after bite, cleaning scratch after scratch. still, he is right in one aspect: you really do need to release some of the tension inside. his smooth, strong hand reaches your throat, gently caressing the skin before abruptly tightening his grasp, essentially choking you. you let out a startled gasp, and patrick only presses a rough kiss to your lips to silence you, teeth biting your lower lip. you begin to melt into his touch, knowing that youll be tired in the morning, knowing that it will be a rough night, knowing that god, you really do need this right now.
——————————
when you woke, it was still dark, your room illuminated only by the glow of the city outside the window. the sheets were tangled around your bare body, and, when you attempted to move, you felt the pangs of pain from the wounds given to you by patrick. eyes still heavy with sleep, you looked to your side to see him, still submerged in the bliss of sleep. when you looked closer, however, you noticed something odd covering his body. upon further inspection, you saw that your lover was painted with splatters of blood. panic rushing through your veins, you were about to wake him when you spotted something in your peripheral vision. laying before your bed was a body, surrounded by a pool of blood. slowly crawling over the bed to get a better view, you realized that the body was that of your boss. stab wounds littered his body, his striped suit tainted with a deep red pigment, eyes closed and blood trickling down his lips, his face pale as the moon in the midnight sky. you looked back to patrick, lying so peacefully in bed, covered in the blood of your (now former) boss. the man you had come to recognize as your partner seemed to have displayed the body before you as a gift, a sign of love, perhaps. his rather gruesome way of showing his devotion. you extended your hand to him, stroking his dark hair. you would deal with the consequences in the morning. the light would make everything clearer.
harry warden x stressed s/o
it was cold in valentine bluffs. winter was beginning to settle into the small town, extending its icy fingers through every corner and into every home. snow had begun to fall and formed a thin sheet over every surface, carrying with it a bitter wind that left most of the people within the town closing their doors and favoring a warm day inside, with heat flooding from their furnaces and hearty food cooking on the stove. you were among those who sheltered themselves from the cold weather, though your home was less comforting as opposed to the latter population. you sat at your desk, filling out paperwork that was meaningless to you, wishing for nothing more than to be done with such a tedious task. while you had accomplished quite a bit, there was still so much more to be done. a stack of papers as thick as a textbook sat adjacent to you, a constant reminder of how you would most likely be seated there for the rest of the day. not to mention the fact that you still had to fix that creaky hinge on the door that had been pestering you all week, along with the knowledge that tomorrow was monday, which meant that you would have to face the frigid outdoors to reach your workplace. a large sigh escaped your fatigued body, and you slumped down onto your desk, resting your head on the hard wood. it was hard to say how long you had been lying there before you heard the floor creak behind you. you raised your head lazily, turning around in your chair to see a man clad in a dark miner’s outfit and mask observing you from the doorway. you huffed with amusement, a small smile forming on your lips.
“harry, i dont think you need to wear that suit in here.”
still, he stood, his only movement the rise and fall of his shoulders with each heavy breath. since you two had begun your rather…odd relationship, and harry had moved in with you, he rarely took his uniform off, though you were sure it was quite uncomfortable. you knew that the man you loved was very troubled, and would need time to heal his wounds, you wished that he could at least feel comfortable in your own home someday. you rose from your chair and walked over to him, stopping right before your face was inches from his. the man never moved, or even flinched, simply stared down at you, his powerful form towering over yours. you raised your hands to cup his mask, and his hands instinctively grabbed yours, ready to push them away.
“wait,” you relented, keeping your grasp on the dark fabric. “what if i give you something in return?” harry didnt give in, and pried your hands off of him.
“okay,” you said softly in response to his movements. “i have to finish up some work, we can do whatever you want when im done, yeah?” you smiled at his expressionless mask, turning to return to that awful desk, that endless pile of paperwork. suddenly, a gloved hand seized your wrist, and you looked behind you to see harry, who had moved forward and grabbed you to stop you from leaving.
“come on, harry, i have to do this,” you told the masked man, a yawn nearly interrupting your speech. still, harry didnt move at your request, still keeping his grip on your arm tight.
you raised an eyebrow at him, turning around to make it easier to face him.
“itll only take a little while,” you lied. harry tugged on your arm this time, pulling you back towards him.
“harry-“
he shook his head, gazing down at your tired eyes. your hand in his, harry led you away from your desk, away from the incomplete stack of work that nagged at the back of your mind. harry brought you to the living room, simply bringing you to the couch in front of the radiating fireplace. you sat down next to him, the warmth from the hearth soothing your aching muscles. harry settled beside you, his eyes transfixed on the flames that blazed before the two of you. the image of the fire reflected in the eyes of his mask, and you stared, watching them flicker. harry turned his head as he felt your eyes on him, and a moment passed before harry took your hand again. this time, he brought it to his mask, and you suddenly realized that he was giving you permission to remove it. with anxious hands, you pulled off the mask, revealing harrys face, the fire giving his skin a warm red tint. you smiled at the image of your lover, and held his face in your hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. you thought you had felt the hint of a smile form on his lips. pulling away, you rested your head on the mans shoulder, the heat from the fireplace, the sound of harrys steady breaths, the warmth of the entire setting providing a calming lullaby that relieved all of the growing stress in your body and mind, until nothing remained but pure, simple peace.
#slasher x reader#harry warden#patrick bateman#i literally hate how these turned out im sorry anon#i didnt do these guys justice
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Title: Sweet Like Candy to My Soul Author: Nikayla For: @gaycrouton, the Valentine’s Fic Exchange on Twitter Pairing: Mulder/Scully, MSR Set During: Season 4 cancer arc, though there’s very little acknowledgment of it Word Count: 4,900 Rating: M/NC-17
She swallows thickly and he can hear the faint smack of her lips when they part to take another breath. Suddenly he’s fascinated by those lips. Wholly immersed in their plumpness; the flush of their coloring, the shine left behind when she nervously licks along her top lip. Even more suddenly he’s consumed by a need to touch those lips, his hand reaching her face before he’s entirely realized the whim — fingers skimming along her jawline as his thumb whispers underneath the protrusion of her full bottom lip. Her mouth closes on an ‘M’ that doesn’t end up forming anything more.
A/N: I’m horrible at following prompts but I hope this will fulfill your v-day wishes regardless. The concept came to me in that place between awake and sleep and developed itself pretty much against my will and I hope that you and everyone else will like it. Happy Valentine’s Day! ATTHS!
FF.NET | AO3
What a way to spend Valentine’s Day. Not that it really amounted to anything that different from how he normally spent it, with no girlfriend to speak of. But being caught in a blizzard at the tail end of a lackluster case, forced to stay holed up in a motel room when stepping foot outside ran the risk of coming back with icicles for eyelashes was still fairly low on his list of fantasy holidays. Were it not for the redhead whose room his adjoined to, he might have actually gone completely stir-crazy here, in a town he’d never have chosen to visit otherwise. But about said redhead.
On Hour 5 of their forced confinement there was a small rap at the door separating their rooms, the ravishing creature responsible inviting him in to hers to go over the field report she’d been typing away at. It was a welcome reprieve from flipping through the three different channels he’d managed to pull in, each one not much more than a snowy reflection of the blustering weather just outside.
Entering her room he was greeted by a handful of new sensations. The room was warm; probably no more than his but it had a sort of inviting air to it that his stale quarters lacked. Though that may have had more to do with the room’s inhabitant than whatever temperature she’d set her thermostat to. Second, the room smelled infinitely better. Again, something easily attributed more to his partner herself, as there were no candles, incense or the like around to have accounted for it otherwise. And then — there she was.
Casual Scully wasn’t something he got to experience very often. Even in a presumably casual setting she was still often found in a tailored jacket at the very least, if not a full-blown FBI regulation suit. Doing a very unregulated job of hugging her in ways he shouldn’t let himself take note of, but was guilty of nonetheless. But here in Nowhere, North Dakota, stuck in a crappy motel, Casual Scully had made her way out since he’d last spoken to her.
Wearing leggings and an old chopped up t-shirt, with her hair half clipped out of her face; a few wayward pieces breaking free to dance at her cheekbones, though he could hardly fault them for that. It was an indiscretion he himself had been guilty of; breaking away from propriety at times, indulging himself in sweeping the backs of his fingers along her cheek, hidden beneath a guise of either comfort or kindness — brushing a strand of hair from her face before she’s even noticed it had fallen out of line. Casual Scully made it more difficult than usual to resist staring, his gaze lingering in all kinds of ways inappropriate for interoffice partnerships. It was this fact that led him to notice her ten little red painted toes — the only sign he could see of her acknowledging the occasion.
As he surveyed the rest of the room he noted the mat set out just beyond the foot of the bed. She’d taken up yoga a number of weeks before — she’d told him as much, but this was his first actual glimpse into her new ritual. “I was just about to do some stretches,” she mentions offhandedly, before doing a much less off-handed job of whipping her t-shirt over her head, revealing a sports bra to match her workout bottoms. “Be my guest,” his voice does a terrible job at parroting her tone, sounding deeper and fuller than intended; though thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice.
Retiring to the relative safety of the table in the corner of the room, her report left open on her laptop’s screen for him, he once again took the opportunity to spend more time watching her than paying attention to the work in front of him. He looked on with a kind of silent fascination — watching her small but strong form leading itself from one stretch into the next; muscle molding beneath skin. The vision she presented proved far more enticing than words on a screen, and he indulged himself deeper into this welcome distraction.
“Mulder?” Her voice rings out, and he’s certain he’s caught; that the old pretending to read a file gag has failed him. As fate would have it, he’s safe, with her gaze still angled away from him while his has lingered both inconspicuous and yet carelessly — he’s read maybe 12 words of this file and none have been subsequent. “Can you tell me if my back is straight?” She sounds forthright yet idyllic; an odd combination given the situation, but he’s not one to question it.
“Pretty close.” He answers quick, too quick — too obvious that he hadn’t just looked up when she spoke but had been following closely along as she moved from stretch to stretch. He has no idea their names but he can recall in perfect clarity exactly how she looked in each of them.
“Can you adjust me?”
A lump threatens to overtake his throat at her request, strangling his voice before he can cover it with a cough. “Shr—uhum—Sure Scully.” Moving to join her, kneeling just beside her prone form, he’s all at once taken aback by just how small she is. Tough as nails, his Scully, and yet no bigger than a sixth grader. Her size betrays her strength, he knows. He’s witnessed it. He could even say he’s witnessing it now, as she holds herself in a plank position, muscles taut and straining but strong; powerful. He knows she could knock him out if she ever wanted to. Hell, sometimes he wishes she actually would.
“Am I close?” Once again she pulls him back from whatever internal fantasy he can’t seem to let go of; her voice holding a focused innocence his can scarcely claim.
“You tell me.” Having overcome the lump, he sounds more wanton than anticipated. “Sorry...bad joke.” Deciding it would be best to move things along quickly before she can have a reaction, he finally takes in her position from a — fleetingly — objective mind. The next stretch requires a straight back, he tells himself clinically; easy enough. A warm hand lands against her and he marvels momentarily at this new perspective. He’s touched her here almost every day and yet seeing it — seeing the way his hand almost spans her right the way across, how fair and soft she is beneath her suits, the faint smattering of freckles that decorate the area... He doesn’t realize just how long he’s fallen silent; staring, cataloging, until her voice shakes him back to reality once more. “Mulder?”
“Sorry,” he mutters absentmindedly, and moves on to the task at hand.
He’s gentle with her — not that he needs to be; but the compulsion is there all the same. He’s delicate as he maneuvers each area, setting her shoulders just so, pressing softly against her mid-back to correct the slightly convex curvature there. Reaching her lower back again he is struck just as he’d been the first time, summarily distracted from his task of righting her spine’s position; lost within the creamy expanse of Scully skin. He feels more than hears her intake of breath when his fingertips gently wander down her vertebrae, re-misaligning her upper back, requiring he correct it once again.
“Sorry.” She mimics him from before, and her voice holds a quality he somehow can’t quite pinpoint; a borderline somewhere between distraction and...something else. Continuing where he left off, he passes over her lower back, memorizing the curve without the hindrance of fabric to interrupt his mapping of her. Her spine is slightly bowed here, dipped inward from the posture she’s trying to achieve; and he realizes the only way to actually right this is to reach beneath her, palming her stomach to ease her into alignment. He leaves one hand behind to provide a counterbalance, the other bracing itself just over her navel, feeling the rigidity in her abdominal muscles as he finishes repositioning her.
“Looks good to me.” There’s no way to disguise the way his voice has lowered since he last spoke; an all too obvious indication of what touching her could do to a man. He can’t help noting how she looks to be fairing no better, with a slight tremor visible in her stance as she attempts to control her breath. “Thank you.” Her voice shakes just as perceptibly as she is; slight, but it’s there. She holds the stretch for a thirty count, and he’s made no move to leave her side even when she’s finished. She drops a knee to the mat and lets out a languished breath, then turns to sit facing him. Neither has said a word for the last minute or more, and electric molecules buzz in the air like the flurries just outside her window.
She swallows thickly and he can hear the faint smack of her lips when they part to take another breath. Suddenly he’s fascinated by those lips. Wholly immersed in their plumpness; the flush of their coloring, the shine left behind when she nervously licks along her top lip. Even more suddenly he’s consumed by a need to touch those lips, his hand reaching her face before he’s entirely realized the whim — fingers skimming along her jawline as his thumb whispers underneath the protrusion of her full bottom lip. Her mouth closes on an ‘M’ that doesn’t end up forming anything more.
Her eyes are deadly focused on his, though his own have taken up a residence alongside his thumb for the time being. He watches diligently at the way her lip gives under the insistent pressing of his thumb; her breath a hot little cloud moistening the digit along with her lips. Growing braver or perhaps just more foolish, he moves up, to fully experience the satiny impact of her lip head on — feeling her breath shake all the while she allows him this great indulgence. And indulge he does.
“What made you take up yoga?” He asks as though he isn’t currently tracing his partner’s uniquely perfect pout. But a very unpartner-like behavior only breeds more unpartner-like conduct. She swallows again, the action parting her lips once more; though his thumb has still yet to leave their pillowy expanse, simply moving back to outlining the brim of her lower lip once more. His fingers have taken up a more serious attachment to her jawline, and he makes no indication of removing them to make this any easier on her. He can see the mix of shock dancing in her eyes — shock at what he’s doing, perhaps even shock at herself for so freely allowing what he’s doing, and shock that he’s chosen this moment to ask about her exercise habits.
She swallows again and he can feel the sensation just below his fingertips where they graze against her throat. Her lips look as though she’s going to question him. ‘Mulder what are you doing?’, ‘Mulder why are you touching me like this?’, ‘Mulder why haven’t I stopped you?’. He silently prepares himself for — he wouldn’t call it rejection, but it will certainly end up feeling that way. He’s in this just as she is; shock mixing around his mind, at his own audacity, brazenness, at her lack of rebuff until now. But she surprises him yet again — her voice coming out with what looks like a great effort to remain unaffected, but ending up sounding altogether very, very affected.
“It was suggested to me...” His Scully is stronger than any man or woman he’s ever known. Her fortitude astounds him almost daily, but no more than it does in this moment. Perhaps later he’ll tell himself it was that fortitude that spurred him on — a voiceless challenge to rattle those fortifications, push past those braces before she shores herself up impenetrably. Yes that must be the reason he finds himself tugging her closer, his hand having moved to the back of her neck before he fully realizes it; but how can anyone expect anything of him when he’s just felt the first brush of contact of her lips and his? She draws in a quick gasp of breath at the connection, which he’s almost certain amounted to little more than drawing in his exhale; CO2 invading her lungs as his tongue makes its first bid at invading her mouth.
All at once she lets him, even meets him halfway; her tongue colliding with the wet intrusion of his — a first kiss to end all others. It’s slow and soft, yet achingly erotic. This suddenly sensual creature before him never fails to surprise him. Thinking back he could argue that she’s always been sensual — wholly feminine, more beautiful than he’d allow himself to acknowledge — never wanting to reduce her to a mere sensual being, when she was that and so, so so much more; most especially to him. But the kiss — the kiss cements her in his mind as an utterly beautiful, utterly sensual woman. He’ll be hard-pressed to extract her in any other state now, with the way her hands have suddenly clutched into his t-shirt, leveraging herself closer to him; he’ll be hard-pressed indeed.
“Mulder...” his name finally makes it out, but not like he expected. It isn’t ‘Mulder what are you doing?’ it’s ‘Mulder keep doing what you’re doing or I’ll shoot you again.’ Okay maybe not exactly that, but his mind has a mind of its own now and it’s decidedly run away with him. Taken whatever it was that held him back from her for this long and blown it sky high. His hands reach for her waist and pull her in a swift, clean motion; her slight weight flying across the short distance between them until she’s in his lap, knees pressed in to the carpet and lips at a much better angle for him to kiss. She draws in another quick breath at the relocation, but seems just as appreciative to be closer now than just in arm’s reach. Her hands are in his hair and she’s flush against his chest, and she’s just as intent on keeping this going as he is.
A soft, little sound escapes her lips and goes right to his groin. A moan, you idiot — his brain tells him late. You just made Dana Scully moan with a kiss. The realization suddenly brings a smile to his lips, which makes a momentary mess of their kiss. But then she’s smiling too, as though his were infectious and she’s caught it — lock, stock, and barrel. The only cure is to kiss her deeper, drawing another mewling sound from her throat, which makes the same trek downwards just as her hips shift above him. They both feel it — the palpable inevitability of what comes next if they don’t stop this now. His heart lurches at the thought of stopping anything they’re doing right now, and she must sense it; allaying his fear in a single phrase.
“Bed now.”
Her words come out fast, almost too fast for him to register initially. He hears them late, but his body seems to have a mind of its own too; already having gathered her up, mere milliseconds from depositing her on the bed before it registers that this is what she asked for — her body receiving his with a contented sigh. Her legs wrap around his waist and he’s trapped; locked in to her embrace and he’s never felt better, safer, more accepted than he does in this moment. Scully has always accepted him, accepted his faults, his penchant for running off; she hates it but she accepts it all the same. She doesn’t seem to be hating this now though, when he rolls his hips and makes contact against her, she certainly doesn’t seem to be hating this at all.
The friction throws a wrench into their otherwise picture-perfect kiss. They have a rhythm developed already; born perhaps out of dancing around one another so close for so long — it’s instinctive. They know when the other needs a breath, and when breath is the least of their priorities. A kiss; deep, and long, is of much greater importance right now, and he’s chosen then to throw her off her game. Her fingers clench tighter into his hair, as though to steady herself — he’s caused yet another misalignment from touching her this way, and it’s his responsibility alone to fix it.
Without warning he breaks the kiss completely; her eyes fling open and her breath dislodges from her chest on a sudden outward journey. But it’s just as quickly pulled back in; his lips have only relocated — dropped to her throat to do a more than satisfactory job of kissing her there. He feels her begin to melt beneath his ministrations, turning to magma beneath his lips; molten hot and percolating at his touch. She is in sharp contrast to the rage of weather still outside; all but trapping them here, and at least partly responsible for setting this in motion.
His hands finally take initiative to do the same; moving from her waist to engulf her breasts, causing another moan to plant itself in her throat, and her teeth to bury themselves in her kiss-swollen lip to prevent it from fully surfacing. This only proves to spur him on more. He wants that moan — wants to hear it full force; feel it vibrate his very being and know he was the cause. He finds her nipples through Lycra fabric, kneads at them with his thumbs as his hips drive into hers on a soft roll; and that does it. The moan breaks free and she clutches him tighter. The moan sounds like his name and when he repeats the motion again, it is. “Mulder.”
He decides then and there his name has never sounded better, and likely never will again.
She begins to writhe beneath him, growing impatient and only more aroused the longer he takes to give her anything more than petting through material. But he isn’t quite done with it yet. One hand leaves her breast, much to her dismay. She tells him of such with an impatient whimper and an almost painful grasp of his hair. It turns to speaking when his hand moves between her legs; a supplication to God himself, and he’s almost tickled that he’s caused her to bring Him in to this.
He strokes at her clothen center — the scorch of her emanating through the layers still between them, bordering on incendiary. She writhes again and her hand joins the one still at her breast, grapples at him until he grips her tighter; a vision of desperation he will never get out of his head. He decides suddenly, to put her out of her misery. His hand slinks past elastic and cotton, and finally touches the flaming ember between her thighs. Three large fingers stoke her very core, eliciting the most beautiful moan he thinks he’s ever heard; three parts pleasure one part repose — it says finally, something more substantial.
The pads of his fingers run up and down the length of her, yet to focus on one place. For the time being it seems to be enough for her; as she lets her soft, mewling sounds leave her lips freely now, and tells him in a kind of Morse code through her tightening and loosening grip on his hair when and where it feels just right.
“Get this off.” He plucks at the perimeter of her sports bra, suddenly aware that he has still yet to see her breasts and that that simply won’t do. He sits up just enough to give her the room required to remove it but not so much as to break the connection of his hand between her legs. She seems most appreciative of that fact, and rewards him with a cross of her arms and a tug of fabric; the bra is lost beyond the bed and her breasts are finally free — her panting breath causing them to rise and fall gently, somehow making them appear even more enticing. “God Scully.” It’s the only reaction that comes to mind. Give it up to the big man, if he really is up there; if he really is responsible for these perfect, cherry-tipped breasts before him.
His hand returns to her first — molding along her flesh in a way he’d be lying if he said he never thought of doing before this moment. But as most merely imagined things are, it’s better than he ever could have predicted. She’s soft but firm under his hand; warm, welcoming flesh accepting his touch ardently. She flushes under the weight of his gaze and grasp on her — a pretty, pink tinge trailing out across her skin. But despite the blushed hue she is still his immutable partner. “Need this off you.” She grabs for his t-shirt and he’s forced to let go of her to aid in her removing of it. It’s narrowly out of sight before she’s clutching at his flesh, dragging him back down to her; to her waiting chest and lips. Her hands encircle as much of his back as she can reach, fingers press in to lines of muscle and tendon, and the nails of one hand light sparks along his scalp — actions all intended to draw him close, closer; keep him there, keep him kissing her — as if he would stop unless it were her express wish that he did.
His thumb sweeps along the side of her face, this time needing no excuse or wayward tendril to do so. She hums in contented recognition of the overt tenderness of the gesture; kisses him earnestly, matches him equal in her tenderness, as though he deserves nothing less. His heart clinches momentarily, at the thought that she could love him. That on this day of love and bad greeting cards she’d choose to receive the former from him, and return him hers in commensurate measure. He peppers kisses along her cheeks, her jaw; drawing a giggle out of her the likes of which he’s never heard. He can’t resist retracing his steps to kiss her effervescent mouth — to hold some of her laugh inside him forever, as once it entered him he would never surrender it to the harshness of the world ever again.
Her fingers trace a blazing trail down the column of his spine, ending somewhere near his mid-back as she runs out of arm length to reach any further. Diminutive, he’s reminded; and as if she senses his thoughts through some tongue convertible telepathy, she uses her strength to flip him onto his back. Her eyes sparkle — diminutive my ass, Agent Mulder. His petite, achingly pretty partner has finally knocked him on his ass; and she looks particularly proud of herself for doing so. Her hands reach for his belt and it’s game on again. No more verbose silent soliloquies written like odes unto her beauty. At least not for the moment.
With his belt gone she makes quick work of the button and zip of his jeans; extricates herself from him, much to his dismay, but it’s only in necessity to remove the garment, and drop it in a muffled denim thump onto the carpet. Her leggings are next to go; her hips wiggling side to side as she works the snug fabric down her toned, peaches and cream colored legs. He sits up swiftly before she can deal with the rest herself — he wants this privilege; wants it burned inside his very eyelids, so on every blink he gets the split-second reminder, of just what it was like to strip Dana Scully of the last of her underthings.
He sits at the edge of the bed with her fixed between his legs. He kisses the curve of her waist, drags his mouth along the path to her hip, takes her waistband into his teeth and softly snaps it against her. She laughs again, softly; and tangles a hand back into his hair. She indulges his monumental levels of patience even while she has no such monuments of her own. When he finally raises his hands to grasp and pull the fabric down her legs she lets out a sigh; something between relief and a dash of apprehension. There’s no going back now.
He kisses along her sternum but his eyes are decidedly skywards. But this time he’s not looking to the sky for intangible spacecraft hovering above — he’s looking to her. He holds her in place with the weight of his gaze alone. It says to her that this is about you, us; not just him or what lies between her legs. She dips down just enough to kiss him, with the softest kiss they’ve yet to share. The impossible pillow of her lips accepts his own in a cradle akin only to a cloud. He is truly discovering unidentified objects here; flying along with her to light the way.
Her lack of patience has finally begun to catch up with her; and she tugs at the top of his boxers, the turgid, solid length of him breaking free. His shorts have barely reached his calves before her hand has grasped the fullness of him; taking up a slow, rhythmic manipulation of flesh that leaves him burdened with a desperate sort of longing to surge up into the vise of her grip.
“Scully—” His hands take up a similar vise grip of her waist; the rest of his sentiment conveyed only through the fervor in his eyes. Now it’s her turn to put him out of his misery — when she’s in his lap again and the heat of her is engulfing him inch by solid inch. His lips find her breast as she adjusts atop him; accepts him all the more than she’s already done. Her fingers clutch at his shoulders as she works her way down, back up and down again; each time taking more until he’s buried totally inside her and never wants to come back out.
He kisses her again and swallows up her humming; the soft sounds she’s begun making as she sets out a rhythm with him. His hands hoist her gently by the hips to aid in her cadence, and pull her back down in parallel motion; sinking deeply into her waiting warmth and besetting a quiver into her pliable construction. Her rhythm starts to falter even with his helping hands, strength waning as pleasure takes a stronger hold.
“Mulder...” her bliss-racked voice beseeches him; so he rolls and moves them back up the bed, lets her take residence up below him once again, drives his hips into hers like before but this time the connection is palpable — sweaty and authentic, and he’s in rapture all the more. He looks on in fascination at his length disappearing into her — sees the flush creep back in all over now; a full body blushing and he just has to see her face. She’s grown pinker and more wanton since he’s switched their positions, enjoying her view of his form just as he is hers. They share a lust-addled smile before he’s on her again; kissing her hungrily as his hips roll and smack into hers in a delicious dizzying stroke, touching places within her that make her break the kiss to moan and wriggle before just as desperately returning to his lips for just a bit more.
His hands engulf her breasts again; thumbs thoroughly titillating her pert nipples until she’s using any leverage she has to thrust her hips downwards to meet his halfway — anything to tear more pleasure from their joining. Her sounds have been reduced to mere whimpers now; hands clutching desperately for a hold, something to keep her on the precipice, anything to feel like this just a little longer. He stops the overstimulation he’d committed to her breasts, instead focusing on a caress of her hips, her waist, the middle of her chest and even up to her throat. Whatever he can do to extend her pleasure, he’ll do it. He changes the angle of his hips slightly and she all but yelps. “Right there, Mulder—God.” His thrusts steadily hit her in just that spot and she’s quivering again — teeth chattering, nails digging in to his flesh, her voice growing higher and more desperate than he’s ever heard her. His own pleasure is fast surfacing; a wave ready to break on the rocks at any moment, barely holding back but using all his remaining strength to do so.
The inevitable is approaching; fast, and faster still. He knows she’s close but still needs something — that final push into oblivion, and he finds it with his thumb. He smooths the pad of it along her apex, unearths the diamond of nerves at her medial and rubs circles against it until she’s convulsing internally; spasming around him in the most beautiful fashion, and then he’s spilling over too — cresting white waves against the beach, her name on his lips like she were a prayer. And God, for him. She is.
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Would you buy rapture insurance?””
Would you buy rapture insurance?
If you believe in the rapture, would you purchase insurance to be paid out to your family members you have left behind . I mean if you re the bread winner, and just vanish . Who is going to pay the rent, who is going to buy the food. People carry life insurance, and have social security to help families, but I m pretty sure they wouldn t cover rapture ... --not superstitious
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Oh and just to clarify that the long time it took for me to get this surgery isnt a sign the nhs is bad or anything! I just had complications due to my life situation. Cos of my autism and anxiety i REALLY REALLY cant cope with having surgery done on me while im awake, even if im numbed up. The panic reaction is so strong and involuntary that i cant stop shaking and risk messing up the surgery becaue of it, not to mention the chamce of doing worse damage to myself in a panic attack. So i had to specifically be sent to the main hospital and receive overnight anesthetic, and i had to have a longer stay than usual because i live alone with no parents or lifr partner who could watch over me during my recovery. So the actual surgery itself just took three hours and the worst part was the anxiety of having to wait about 18 more hours in a busy hospital feeling perfectly fine but unable to go home until the observation period had passed and also til i was able to get a lift home with my psychologist. I am SO grateful she was able to support me with this!! So yeah i basically had to have the ultra deluxe complicated version of the regular surgery which also had to correlate with a time my psychologist would be free, and thats why ut was hard for them to find a time to schedule it. And most of the waiting was initially because of me being a dumbass and being too afraid to tell anyone i was in pain and too afraid to go to the doctor. I think it must have been almost four years of that? And then it was just a two year wait of going thru pre-assessments and waiting for a time slot for this final full operation. Which is still a frustrating time to wait but i understand tat the circumstances made it difficukt and also this isnt really an emergency surgery so yeah. I was just making a lot of frustrated posts about it over the last few years cos the waiting PROCESS is really bad, yknow? You barely get any information on how long you have to wait, its just all left up in the air that it could be any time in the next year and yoy'll get a very short notice letter right when its about to happen and npthing else for months at a time. And the automated phone service is badly made and yeah basically just a bunch of lame decisions made by the accounting section of the company that ended up increasing my anxiety, lol.
But seriously id way rather have this than having "only if you can pay for it" surgery! I mean when i finally got there it was all SO amazing and hi tech and highly staffed and everyone was so nice and it was all so fast and efficient and really comfy and everyone made you feel at home and you got a private cubicle with a lockable door and free food like 5 times a day like holy shit they wouldnt stop giving me The Best Toast In The World and my throat hurt but i felt it woulf be impolute to not Honor Their Toastly Kindness! So many of my worries about the experience were totally unfounded dumb hollywood myths that dont happen at all in british hospitals. And they still manage to run such a well oiled machine of amazing professionals and above excellent patient service despite how bad our economy is right now! I overheard them talking about jow their budget is lower ths year and i was like "holy shit but you guys are so amazong?? How do you manage??" I cant even imagine what it must have been like back when doctors got better salaries! Seriously they just WOULD NOT STOP PAMPERING ME it was so WEIRD!!! Comfy adjustable beds and reclining super soft sofa and this whole personal room and people coming in with trolleys full of a wide selection of really damn amazing breakfast foods and they even gave you special comfort socks for the long time of bed rest to avoid ankle swelling and they were like friggin cinderella scene insisting on putting the socks on for you?? I felt so embarassed in the good way for once! Blushing cos it was total prince treatment! And none of that "oh drugs are so expensive you have to go without necessary medicine in order to pay the bills" shit, they kept offering me optional medicines thatd make every part of the surgery easier and were like "please dont worry about accepting them, its the government's job to make sure youre free of pain so just be honest if youre feeling bad". But seriously the surgery was all so swift and done with great precision and i had such kind care and warm drinks and SO MUCH JAM ON MY TOAST that i felt like my mouth was okay even without the extra painkiller dose. And then i expected id just have to buy my own paracetamol once i was discharged from surgery but they gave me a big box of extra strength jaw surgery specific paracetamol for free! All of this was free! I got free goddamn cosmetic reconstruction on my teeth that i never even asked for and i was like holy shit when i looked in the mirror lol. I just expected everything to be gone but they put this reconstructive cap thing to replace the front teeth just jn case i was worried about the appearance of the gap between them. And SO MUCH goddamn free food holy shit im so toasted out! And free tv and wifi and showers and a warm comfy sofa and just a nice day of chilling out in a very weird sort of luxury hotel, lol. And the gift shop was also super cheap and full of necessities! And the nurse was so kind that i was able to hand her the money and she went to the gift shop for me when i was too dizzy to walk. I needed new headphones cos mine broke on the way there, and she got me a staff discount on them and picked out the cutest best pair! UNICORN DRAGON PATTERN!! Im gonna keep them FOREVER holy shit they look so cool and for a £1 discount pack they have sonmuch better sound quality and noise cancellation than the more expensive ones i had before. And the whole gesture just really touched me, it cheered me up so much to have a giggle at some adorable fashion headphones and see my nurse jamming along to ed sheeran to test that they worked, and she was just so sassy and jokey and we even had a contest between all of the nurses comparing our silly socks! Seriously it was just SO welcoming and unscary and had a lot more privacy than i expected and a lot less heavy restrictions and stuff and jusy EVERYONE WAS SO NICE AND SO GOOD AT THEIR JOB and did i mention THE BEST TOAST EVER
So yeah i dont think im scared of hospitals anymore. And i feel guilty about all the panicky posts i made before i went in for this operation, i hope i didnt give anyone the wrong impression that i was some longknowing person making factual complaints about the nhs as opposed to a first time hospital visitor with anxiety who was imagining every possible way it could go wrong. Absolutely none of my fears happened and it was way nicer than i ever imagined! Im kinda looking forward to the followup appointment in 2 weeks just so i can say thank you again and also have more money to buy some spares of those good headphones from the gift shop.
I hope everyone else out there who has to deal with medical disasters gets doctors just as nice as these ones!!!
#its funny cos ive been thru so many medical disasters but this is my forst physical problem thats required surgery#like im a big giant fatass yet im also perfectly physically healthy forever apparantly#just reaaaaallly mentally effed up#but again i owe the nhs so much for that because i require a lot of medication and support and#if i had to pay for it all out of pocket and wasnt able to get disability benefots then#id just be homeless or dead right now#uk doctors have really saved my life so many times over!
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