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idk felt like trying out twenty different things in one image of the guy.
still trying to figure out how to colour in a new style so ignore it if it looks wonky, IM TRYING.
(ignore the “laugh” i had to edit it rq because i spelt it wrong somehow ???)
[click/tap for possibly better quality]
#somehow this took like 3 days because i kept forgetting to finish this#and i didnt even finish colouring until i took a 30 minute break of making ANOTHER playlist#the struggle#anyway#live laugh love swerve#rambles#my art#PLUS A SKETCH#explodes#macadam#maccadam#is it two or one c#mtmte swerve#tf swerve#I ATE NUCLEAR BOMBS#i hate art#bye#sorry people that followed for sp
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Magical Boy Tournament: Round 7 - FINALE!!!!
Entrant Propaganda
Qifrey
Wise man who teaches four girls magic and also deals with literally everything
Qifrey is too much of a warcrime babygirl
quifrey is also fruity with another man
qifrey is indeed a witch that does magic
a single mom who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops
hes come so far!!! my sweetie pie my dilf of choice my problematic fav!!!!
VOTE QIFREY HES OUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER
Howl
He ate a star, which I think is more impressive than anyone else I've submitted. Including Howl in a magical boy tournament is like submitting a nuclear bomb to a middle school science fair
he's the most magical and most boy
howl is the guy ever
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GLORIA: Everyone. Everyone, can I have your attention? I know this is a strange day for you, I appreciate you showing up at all… So… On my home planet there’s this thing called Top Ramen. It’s dried noodles and a packet of flavoring. It’s not very good for you but it’s food. And you can get them for 50 cents each. That’s not a lot where I’m from. I never ate it all that much myself, but it was always nice knowing it was there. You knew you were never going to starve because of a cheap package of dried noodles always waiting for you at any store. It’s nice.
What a lot of people don’t know is that the reason why there’s dirt cheap noodles at any store, is because one day, a long time ago, two nuclear bombs were detonated on an island called Japan. Thousands of people died in an instant, and in the aftermath thousands more were going to die of sickness and starvation. But one man had an idea to send bricks of dried noodles with a packet of flavoring to anyone who was hungry. They knew they weren’t going to starve. On the island of Jamaica they cook chicken in a way that doesn’t make any smoke. They do that because a long time ago, they were slaves, and the smoke would’ve alerted slavers and they would then be running for their lives. Zebulon, why do Jewish people eat unleavened bread?
ZEBULON: Because they too were slaves. When word came from Moses that it was time to flee captivity in the night, they had no time to wait for their bread to rise. So to this day, the flat bread is a reminder of that flight from their oppressor.
GLORIA: For me, when I cook with corn, beans, and squash, it’s called the tres hermanas. The same way my ancestors cooked thousands of years ago. My ancestors who were nearly wiped out by foreign invaders… Show me your plate, and I’ll tell you a sad, sad story. Your sad story begins today. The day you had to turn to the spirits of your ancestors to keep you alive while you were just trying to do the right thing, and leave a better life for your children. I can’t make you eat this food. It’s your story, not mine. So Zebulon’s going to say a prayer, and then you’re all going to make a choice. It’s up to you.
ZEBULON: Bless us, O Lord. Bless our food and our drink. Since you redeemed us so dearly and delivered us from evil, as you gave us a share in this food so may you give us a share in eternal life.
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Yeah it’s toxic yaoi cannibalism hours
Stuff about the au below
-Basically the world was struck in a conflict and the US specifically was nuclear bombed to smitherins, mutating every citizen inside into some horrid beast save for Coby and Luffy, who unfortunately become immortal.
-The whole world outside of the US is thriving here in this au and Luffy and Coby don’t know because the other countries blocked the land mass of what was left of the US
(I really just wanted the USA gone for this au)
Plot:
Coby and Luffy met when they were just trying to survive on their own and managed to encounter eacch other. They fought off mutated monsters and was somehow immune to radiation, but eventually they starved and ended up in a scuffle where Luffy won and ate Coby out of pure desperation.
But after awhile of Luffy eating the corpse, Coby came back to life (somehow) and attacked Luffy back furiously cutting him up for killing him. But Since Coby came back to Life, Luffy did too.
So at the end they sat there realizing they could just kill and eat eachhother off everytime they start to starve.
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Hot take: Fallout on Amazon Prime has such a malewife driven narrative.
I look at this show and all I can think of now is MALEWIFE. Like, Ghoul/Cooper Howard? You Know he ate pussy on the regular. There's no other explanation for how Barb and him stayed together for so long and Cooper never considered how, at least after the war, Barb had become a very different person. SEX WAS THAT GOOD!!!! He's just too busy, sorry ma'am. **SPOILER** And the scene where he overhears Barb talking about dropping nuclear bombs on civilians??? Man wears a look of devastation, no, HEARTBREAK like it's his fucking job. That's his world breaking, dude.
And Maximus-- dude's got no idea what he's doing. No idea and Yet. His world revolves around Lucy. And that's all he needs to know. Yeah he's doing stuff on the side, learning about how power corrupts and what leadership means, but my man's always has one eye on Lucy. **SPOILER**He gets a taste of the softer life he never realized he wanted, accepted he would have to join a cult (Lucy was there), promptly hauled ass to save Lucy, and most damningly gave up the single object of power he spent episodes fighting to keep on her wish. Idk if their actors talked.. but both him and Cooper have that same pining hound dog look for women who don't rly look at them the same way.
Chet's an obvious one... don't need to elaborate on his sheer Desperation for the role of a malewife, Lee Moldaver is not a malewife but HAS absolutely gone down on a vagina like a Champ. I will finish on this.
Hot take: if all the bad guys in Fallout were interviewed on what makes sex good, none of them would say anything remotely close to the act of cunnilingus. ALSO none of them have ever eaten a pussy out.
#fallout#fallout prime#male wife#cooper howard#barb howard#maximus fallout#lucy maclean#frances turner#aaron moten#ella purnell#walter goggins#lee moldaver#sarita choudhury#dave register#chet fallout#bad guys in question:#bud askins#hank maclean
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So I just read Danny Phantom: A Glitch in Time and...it was ok
Had this come out when I was a kid and just watched Ultimate Enemy I would have gone absolutely feral over it
this show came out in 2004 so not quite sure how to feel about the updated technology IMO it would have been cool to have a time capsule of the show than the common floating timeline you see in comics
unlike with DC graphic novels you can tell the person that wrote this is actually a fan of the show and not a rando corporate pick the plot is plausible and the characters stay in character
A loyal tribute that brings in new lore and character growth
it also retcons the hated movie Phantom Planet
And it leaves enough to be curious for the sequel
People either seem to love it saying it's a good continuation the more serious take they wanted or hate it saying they're tired of villains being complex and redeemable and not pure evil anymore and the plot seems too much like tumblr fanfiction
I made notes as a read it so spoilers under the cut
Dash Kwan Paulina and Star are ghost hunters
Tucker has instagram/twitter “Spectregram” fans
The Fentons supply the town’s ghost hunting tech unasked
Tucker’s wiki “click-a-pedia" has him listed as married to Ember
Danny and Jazz just accept their father is such a bungler he can’t even kill a guy by abandoning him in space
Dan was strong enough to dent the only thing that can contain him and just it being knocked off a shelf was enough for him to break out (why Clockwork the Master of Time never foresaw this happening moved it from a table to a more secure location ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
So uh... Dan just absorbed “ate” Clockwork
Ecto energy can reach atomic bomb levels so dimension ending threat there
Since the Disasteroid his powers have been fading their theories match their personalities Tucker-science Sam-government Jazz-trauma
“Do you have any childhood trauma you wanna talk about?” (like Jazz as if you weren’t there)
Vlad found a primordial source of ecto energy and just kept that information to himself for a rainy day
Jazz has a magical girl transformation for her ghost fighting suit
Vlad is just “ignore those clones” (there in clothes so did Vlad just buy multiple copies of Danny’s favorite outfit how did he know his size)
Vlad is such an old man who doesn’t know how to use modern computers
“not a place of honor” ah the nuclear waste warning (we don’t really get much more exploration of this or the seven ancients)
Sam is a horse girl
Valerie still holding that grudge huh
In Pariah’s Keep Danny is suffers from bad memories and holds Sam’s hand to comfort himself
The Keep is Fright Knight’s domain
Danny just forgets humans are the ghosts in the Ghost Zone (in line with how often he forgets what powers he has)
Fright Knight calls Pariah his master
Vlad is such a loser he keeps getting his shit kicked
Maddie “That’s not my Danny.”
The Ghost Zone and human world were split in half an unnatural divide
Danny is still a C student (io don't think he's going to be an astronaut)
Ghosts are manifestations of human emotions not separate entities (take that Fartman)
Eventually they start to lose their human identity it’s why some are less human
Vlad has his own “Where’s the rest of it?” meme
They figured out all ghosts run on some emotional drive or purpose
Danny realizes his purpose is protection but now there’s no longer the monster of the week threat or his parents he never asked himself what he wanted
Now instead of constant fighting he’ll help the ghost achieve their desires they just want to keep doing in death what they did in life and heal the rift
Fight for control Clockwork
Vlad finally grew as a person realizing it was his action and drive for power that drew everyone away and has making amends as his new purpose
Dan just doesn’t want to be alone (makes sense the “no more painful human emotions” +Vlad’s anger and abandonment issues so he’s all the emotions and pain)
Dan is destabilizing flashing back to his pre Dark child form because he’s a being outside his destroyed timeline
Danny is the GOAT
Clockwork needs to fix what he can of the time streams and Danny has two choices Post Disasteroid+no powers or Pre Disasteroid+powers
Danny gives up being accepted so he can fix the realms “I’m Danny Phantom, proctor of humans and ghosts!”
They are back to being invisible losers and Sam is just happy goths aren’t popular anymore
The city doesn’t know how they avoided the Disasteroid but the Mayor declares ghosts are responsible for everything the city will now have a branch of ghost hunters and Danny Phantom is again public enemy #1
Clockwork transfers Dan from Vlad into one of the empty clones he’s Vlad’s responsibility now he’ll be too busy to help again
Clockwork’s powers are finite (so he isn’t omnipotent and all powerful) but he still feels something wrong in the stitches he feels weaker now
And Valerie has a Time Medallion and is pissed (but there was a Valerie in the crowd at the Mayor’s speech so the two Valeries might meet up in the sequel)
Jazz is ecstatic she was right about ghosts being emotions based
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i've gotta get back aboard the Wanting Things train soon and i fucking do not waaaaant to doooo thaaaaaaaaat :(
i feel like kicking my legs and fists into the bed in classic tantrum mode actually!!
i want to do the work, just please let me do the woooooork without all the Bull Shit (application fees, separate funding applications, talking to people)
i'm so scared of getting another interview and bombing it
and it's not that i'm not better at some stuff than i was in my first round of PhD apps, but i've been Out Of It for a while and also i didn't get to DO an MA because of MONEY, my BELOATHED
so i feel out of the academic loop and behind and ashamed of turning in papers i wrote 3 years ago like "i promise i still have ~potential~"
and it's. embarassing? which feels very silly. life doesn't go according to plan! every reasonable person knows that! but it still feels like not being where i want to be is a stain on me and a reflection of my, like, poor planning and misplaced optimism
(and i was mostly just following the advice i was given by my mentors! so! what the fuck!)
i am really so profoundly sad i'm not doing an MA right now and it also feels like i don't have time to be sad, like, i have to get a job and go apply for grad school and that's enough energy already
but i am. really sad. i'm good at the very narrow world of being in classes and reading classical languages and writing papers! i miss that world!! it makes me mentally ill in a way that feels virtuous and worthwhile as opposed to my default state of mentally ill, where i worry about all the same things with no basis and no relief valve
and it would be super cool if applications were a one and done deal but they sure are not, because they all have different timelines on getting back to you and also some of them have Interviews (My Beloathed) and waitlists and, again, separate funding whatever
and waiting to hear if people liked you(r application) is AWFUL, it's like if the worst parts of dating (asking someone out and breaking up) keep happening for MONTHS because your (potential) partner is on the goddamn moon or something
oh and also you're asking a bunch of random adults who vaguely like you to advertise your character and accomplishments for you. as that's going on.
i wish things had worked out for me the way 2/3 recommenders were so confident they would, where i'd just...have gone straight from undergrad to a PhD and then a teaching job and been great at it forever with no problems
and they didn't! and it's not my fault they didn't, but oh boy did i feel like that
and then proceed to never ever address that feeling because. uh. Why Would I Do That
instead, like, almost all of my nuclear family members had health crises at the same time and then i started my first full time job and then i got discriminated against at my job and then my grandparents BOTH got cancer and then i got a lawyer involved and then i quit my job in one of the worst mental states i've ever been in
and then i haunted my own life for a bit. and applied for grad schools, which went fine aside from the funding. and that ate months
(and i took a class, and i learned how to do stuff i've wanted to do since i was 12, but that's not relevant to the misery narrative)
and then i gave up on grad school this cycle and got a shitty job and saved money and moved. and here i am! ready to faceplant on the treadmill of wanting things, yet again!
and like. even if i get what i want right now i could still fail out. i could still fuck up. i could find that actually i hate teaching (despite liking it in the contexts i've already done it). my health could fail catastrophically. or, y'know, the job market is garbage and maybe in 4-7 years i'll be applying for jobs everyone thinks i'll get that i do not get, and i have to figure something else out AGAIN because i didn't get what i wanted, again
but if i never try i'll never know.
and there is a chance--a tiny, tiny, absurdly small chance--that in a decade i'll have some nice publications and a dissertation other people liked and a teaching job and more friends and maybe some partners, maybe not, but people and the work i love doing.
and maybe if i believe in myself, if i suck it up and learn with humility and write with respect and passion and dare to be ambitious and kill my anxiety about looking stupid or saying the wrong thing to an Academic Contact and just treat older colleagues like people (more experienced, yes, cool as hell for sure, but just people), i'll get to have that future where things are hard but i'm making meaning and helping other people learn cool stuff too.
...choosing to chase that chance feels REALLY BAD, THOUGH
i'll fucking do it but gods above.
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How do I explain to my butch himbo lesbian girlfriend (with a car engine instead of a heart) that the grandad of my sidehoe wizard nuclear bomb told him that his god/ex girlfriend wants him commit suicide??
Mostly pissed off because the grandad ate all the good cheese tbh
#relationship advice#bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#baldurs gate karlach#baldurs gate gale#gale of waterdeep#karlach
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Father: Verb
Summary: 11 year-old WMD Sephiroth is assigned a new handler/bodyguard, named Vincent Valentine.
(chapter 1 linked at bottom)
Chapter 2: Fried Chicken Family Dinner
******WARNING: REFERENCED TORTURE, CHILD ABUSE, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE******
******WARNING: HOJO******
Vincent didn’t come that morning. It was for the best, though, since Sephiroth had to go see the old professor, today. It was a regular part of his routine, but he had an instinctive desire to hide this specific thing from Vincent.
More than anything, he couldn’t bear the thought of Vincent seeing him, like that; a screaming, blubbering mess, drooling and stupid, strapped down to stop him clawing at his own body. Sometimes he vomited or pissed himself from the pain. He’d die of humiliation, if Vincent saw any of that.
He heard people talk enviously about his superior strength and his healing abilities, but a lot of times, he wished he didn’t have them. If he didn’t, maybe he wouldn’t have to keep going to the old professor to have these awful tests done on him, all the time. His one consolation was that they said he was getting stronger. He controlled himself better, every time, and he screamed a lot less than he used to. Most times he didn’t even lose consciousness.
This, however, was not one of those times. The old professor was abnormally strident, today, even for him, and when they wheeled Sephiroth back to his rooms, that evening, he was half catatonic, lying on the gurney, staring into oblivion, his green eyes glowing like fireflies, from the mako saturation.
His healing factor was frankly dizzying, however, and the chemical burns had completely faded from his ivory skin, before he even left the lab. By the time they got him to his quarters, his broken limbs had mostly healed.
When Vincent arrived, early the next morning, Sephiroth was as good as new, and there was no sign whatsoever that he’d been injured, at all. Vincent, however, had dark circles under his scarlet eyes, and was even more deathly-pale than usual.
“What’s the matter, Vincent, are you ill?” the boy asked, when he stepped in the door.
“I don’t get sick,” Vincent said curtly, which was how he said most things, and to which tone Sephiroth took no offense. “I had…trouble sleeping.”
“I don’t get sick, either. But I do have trouble sleeping. You should tell them to give you sedatives. They help a lot.”
“How was training yesterday? What did you do?”
Had my arms and legs crushed in a hydraulic press, my skin burned with caustic chemicals, got nearly drowned in a tank of mako, over and over, and was electrocuted until I vomited blood and passed out.
“Nothing special. Where were you?”
“Other assignment.”
The boy’s silver brows lowered. “You’re not bodyguarding someone else, are you? Because I forbid it. I won’t have your attention divided.”
“I’m not guarding anyone else, don’t act like a jealous wife,” Vincent replied, pointing to the door. “Breakfast. Move it.”
After Vincent became his handler, Sephiroth was given autonomy regarding his meals, and he chose to abjure the nutritional pastes, despite their efficiency, and eat in the dining hall, where everyone else ate. He had also refused the officers’ privilege of skipping ahead, and so the oddly matched pair became a common sight in the dining facility line.
People smiled behind their sleeves, to see the tiny, silver-haired nuclear bomb chatting blithely to his tall, black-haired, vampiric protector, as they waited in line, along with the rank and file, carrying trays, as if they were regular people.
An unintentional consequence of this, was that Sephiroth’s example shamed the other officers out of exercising that privilege, as well, and doing so immediately fell out of vogue within the upper ranks (except among the senior researchers, who only cared about getting nourishment as quickly as possible and getting back to work).
“Vincent, you’ve introduced me to so many good foods. Why don’t you eat?” Sephiroth asked, as he scooped up a forkful of fluffy, yellow scrambled eggs.
Vincent had a full tray of food in front of him, as well, but as per their usual, he would consume nothing, and Sephiroth would eagerly devour both their meals.
“No digestive system,” Vincent answered evenly. “At least, not a human one.”
“Mm,” Sephiroth nodded, when he’d finished chewing and swallowing. “I wondered if that were the case. You don’t have a heartbeat, either.”
“No heart to beat. I suppose you could say, I’m not even really alive.”
“Yes, you are,” Sephiroth contended, staunchly. “You don’t need a heart to be alive. Plenty of things live without hearts.”
“Like what?”
“Jellyfish, sea cucumbers, starfish, flatworms.”
Vincent’s shoulders slumped. “So…you think of me as a flatworm.”
“Well, not exactly. There’s some kind of materia in your body. Flatworms don’t have that.”
“Materia,” Vincent frowned. “How did you know about that?”
“I just know. I can sense its power all over you,” Sephiroth shrugged, without looking up. He was in the process of cutting his stack of pancakes into perfectly even twelfths.
“You just know? No one told you anything about me?”
“I haven’t asked. I would like to know what happened to you. But I thought you would rather tell me, than have me hear about it from someone else.”
“I did this to myself. There’s nothing to tell.”
Sephiroth’s eyes widened. “How could you do that to yourself? Destroying your major organs and replacing your heart with materia, would be—”
“I said, there’s nothing to tell!” Vincent snarled, his crimson eyes flashing a warning gold. “You are never to ask me about this again, understood?”
“U—understood,” Sephiroth faltered, taken aback by the perpetually mild-mannered Vincent’s abrupt shift in mood.
Just as quickly as it had risen, however, the storm passed. Vincent crossed his arms and receded into his cloak, till almost none of his face was visible. “No more talking. Eat our breakfasts. We have a lot of work to do, today.”
In the training yard, Sephiroth was practicing a new set of highly technical sword forms, that he’d devised himself. Vincent watched from the sidelines, with his arms still crossed under his cloak, so the boy couldn’t see his hands shaking.
Touching so close to that subject had terrified him so much, he almost swore he could feel the heart he did not have pounding in his disfigured chest. But he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t broken the agreement. The old bastard wouldn’t call foul, just because the boy asked a question, would he?
No. He wouldn’t want to terminate their deal. Not yet. Vincent wasn’t fool enough to trust that sick psychopath, of course, but the man had some purpose of his own, in sending Vincent to take over Sephiroth’s care. That much was clear. Otherwise, he’d never have got within shouting distance of Lucrecia’s child.
Walking on tenterhooks around the subject of their complicated relationship to one another was a small price to pay, for being allowed to be close to the boy. This, after all, was the only way he’d be able to do what he had to do. The only way to gain absolution for Lucrecia. By cutting off this poisoned vine at the root. By killing her son.
As if he sensed the killing intent directed at him, the boy turned and looked at Vincent, across the training yard. His silver hair was hanging about his face, and his sword was pointed at the ground. For the briefest moment, an image of Sephiroth standing in this same pose, amidst a sea of flames, flashed across Vincent’s vision.
When he blinked, it was gone. The little boy was smiling at him, guileless and trusting. Proud of the skill he’d been demonstrating, and seeking approval from his mentor.
Vincent gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. It wasn’t much, but even that was enough to fuel Sephiroth for days. The child was so starved for human warmth, that the smallest word or gesture of kindness, or even the slightest affectionate touch, lit him up like a firework.
That was the worst part. His sweetness and vulnerability—his absolute innocence, contrasted with his superior intelligence, only made this all the more difficult. He was disarming and enchanting, and made one want to open their heart and let him crawl inside. The child may be an abomination, but even Vincent was not immune to his allure. A fallen angel was an angel, nonetheless.
Sephiroth was simply a different kind of being, to the rest of humanity. He was beautiful in a way that other people could never be. He was gentle and quiet, but as strong and sharp as steel. He was uncertain and self-conscious, but anyone who came close to him, he drew in and captivated, until they desired nothing more than to do anything and everything they could for him.
And his magnetism would only grow, as he got older and came into his own. An adult Sephiroth, at the height of his charisma and power, would be…a force of nature.
But right now, he was just a little boy in a cage. And the person he looked up to most was planning to slaughter him like an unblemished lamb, and make him a sacrifice, by whose blood the sins of his fathers would be washed clean.
When he thought of killing Lucrecia’s child, Vincent wanted to put Cerberus in his own mouth and pull the trigger. Not that it would do any good. He’d tried taking the quick and dirty way out, before, only to find that Chaos wouldn’t allow him to die.
Since he couldn’t atone with his own death, he must at least offer up those of the two others, in this thicket of thorns. He must rid the world of the monster they’d created, before it destroyed everything in its path, and turned the planet into a hell of fire and ash.
She had spoken to him, in that long darkness, and this was her wish. Hojo, the sinner. Sephiroth, the sin. Both must die, so the many may live.
He took his hand off the weapon in his holster. Not yet. Let him have a little more time. Just a little longer. Then, when the time did come, he would not waver. This was Lucrecia’s will, and Vincent must be her blade. It was the least he could do, for the one he’d failed so utterly.
Wasn’t it?
“Vincent, do you know what I want to eat for supper?” Sephiroth said, as they walked back toward his quarters.
“Spaghetti,” Vincent hazarded.
“Wrong! Tonight, I want to try something new. I want fried chicken.”
“Fried chicken. That shouldn’t be too difficult for the kitchen to make.”
“But I don’t want it from the kitchen. I heard some people talking about a place called an inn, in Nibelheim, where they make the best fried chicken in the world, or so they claim. I want to eat fried chicken from that place.”
Vincent balked. “You…want to leave the manor?”
“It’s close by, in the town. We won’t even have to take a transport. We can just walk.”
“Have you ever left the manor, before?”
“Well. No. But I’ve been looking at the town from the windows, my whole life, and I’ve never been there. Now that you’re here, I thought they might let me, if I go with you.”
“Sephiroth, this…this is not going to be an easy thing to get approved. You’re Shinra’s most valuable asset.” It also meant he’d have to speak to that person, but he did not say that aloud.
Sephiroth took Vincent’s big hand in both of his and tugged on it, looking up at him imploringly, with his large, long-lashed eyes. “Please, Vincent? Please, just ask? For me?”
Several minutes later, in one of the many top-secret areas, in the sub-basement of Shinra manor:
A dry, cackling laugh rang out, over the towers of bizarre lab equipment. “So, you want to take the boy to town, do you? Give the dog an inch and it wants a mile, eh?”
“It’s for one meal,” Vincent said icily. “Sephiroth has a right to experience normal things, like other children experience.”
“A right? He has no rights! He is an asset! An asset that belongs to me!”
Vincent crossed his arms. “Don’t you mean Shinra?”
“Yes, yes, of course,” the professor said, waving his hand dismissively. “I don’t have time for nonsense, so don’t come in here annoying me with these petty little things, anymore. Take the asset wherever you want to take him. Only, remember the leash I’ve got you on. And what happens, if you decide to try anything foolish.”
“How could I forget,” Vincent said, under his breath, as he turned and swept out of the room.
When he was gone, that deranged cackle rang out again, only this time it was uglier and even more gleeful. “Yes, take the boy out for treats, you stupid, dead dog. Sweeten him up. Make him like you. Make him trust you. All the better to teach him a lesson, about where he places his trust.”
When the two stepped out of the front gate of Shinra Manor, it occurred to Vincent that this was the first time either of them had left the place, in more than eleven years. It felt like less of a big deal than he would’ve expected. Nothing had changed, much.
As they entered the town, Sephiroth grabbed his hand, almost reflexively. Vincent’s nonexistent heart shattered into even more pieces. He glanced down at the boy, who was looking about, wide-eyed, at everything. Did he really have to kill this child? Was there no other way to avert the terrible fate she foresaw?
Nibelheim was a backwater nothing of a place, but Sephiroth had never been anywhere, so of course it was novel and exciting to him. Much like the very mundane foods he was constantly delighted by. The people he’d overheard talking hadn’t specified which inn, but the town had exactly one, so it wasn’t as if they could pick wrong.
To their discomfiture, the innkeeper and his staff appeared to have been waiting for them, and greeted them exuberantly as they entered the place. Sephiroth’s grip on Vincent’s hand tightened, but he had his placid, self-defense smile fixed on his pretty face, and no one would’ve suspected for a moment that his little hand was shaking.
“You’re the Shinra agent, right?” the innkeeper said, waving them in. “Manor called down a little while ago, said you’d be comin’ in. We’ve got a table all ready for you. Ah, this must be your son! Good lookin’ lad. Strong family resemblance, there, no mistake. Millie! Get out here and meet the gentleman from Shinra and his boy!”
Vincent was too dumbstruck to refute the man’s assumption, and Sephiroth just kept smiling and clutching his hand more tightly. Rather than correct the error, Vincent decided to let it slide and greet the innkeeper’s wife politely, in order to get this over with as quickly as possible.
She came out, drying her hands on an apron, cooed over Sephiroth’s prettiness and made more remarks to the effect of him strongly resembling his handsome father, and at long last, they were led to a table.
“Those people think I’m your son. They even said I look like you,” Sephiroth said, in an undertone, when the innkeeper and his wife had finally gone away, to let them look over the menus. “Do we really look so much alike?”
Vincent shook his head. “I think it’s just that I was holding your hand, and you’re the right age to be m—ahem—my…my son.”
“You can’t be more than twenty-five, though. I’m almost twelve,” Sephiroth pointed out. “How young do people breed, in this region?”
“Ah. Ha. I’m a little older than I look.”
“How old are you?”
“Thirty-nine. I was twenty-seven, when my body died. That’s why I look that age, still.”
“You died around the same time I was born,” Sephiroth said musingly. “What a strange—oh! I found it. I want this. The fried chicken family dinner.”
Vincent looked at the menu, where the boy was pointing. “It says it feeds a family of four. Hm. That might actually be enough food, for you.”
THE AUTHOR HAS SOMETHING TO SAY:
vincent: i can totally kill this child nbd
vincent: A SLIGHTLY SCARY SOCIAL SITUATION? HIDE BEHIND ME MY SON, DADDY WILL PROTECT YOU
link to ch 1
link to ao3
#ff7 rebirth#ff7#vincent valentine#sephiroth#final fantasy 7#ff7 vincent#family#dinner#fried chicken#fluff and angst#vincent being a dad by accident#warning: hojo#miniroth#child sephiroth
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I need you all to promise me that if/when the US pulls out of Palestine and stops supporting Israel that you don't enable them when they inevitably call themselves heroes for "stopping" the genocide.
This happened in WW2 as well. America was perfectly content to be passive (at best) about the Nazis. And then right at the end switched sides (when and only when they considered themselves victimized), did a pitiful amount of anything useful, dropped two nuclear bombs on Japan AFTER THE WAR HAD ALREADY ENDED. They've been calling themselves heroes ever since and the mass of the American people ate it up.
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Because Muffin has made it to round 3 of @splatoonpolls' OC tourney, I'm gonna post some more doodles from my sketchbook! Including one giving some other bonus facts that I didn't include in the last as they were, relatively unimportant to her character...
OK NOW FOR THE FACTS!!
Transcript of the facts in case you can't read my shitty hand writing:
Her dad was a jellyfish and her mom was a humboldt, her dad being a jelly made her very squishy and stretchy (arrow pointing at her says "silly putty")
She ate a buncha canned specials (with the can) when she was 16 so she's constantly charged with special charge (Arrows pointing at her and her tummy say "She's like an electric eel" and "Full of metal" respectively)
She can recharge this energy by eating, don't overfeed her tho. She'd get a tummy ache, and probably release a buncha electricity
Even if I don't win, I'd appreciate your vote and if you're interested in her in any way feel free to ask about her!!
(the rest of the doodles I mentioned are under the cut)
(Octoling featured here is an OC which belongs to @muchasgrasasunsaludoalagrasa, called Wakko, he doesn't really post his own stuff on tumblr but i wanted to give him credit since we're really close friends)
Also here's a transcript of this text too in case you can't read it:
W: "Why are you playin' N-Zap? You're better with brush." M: "Oh, you'll see when the match starts!" (background inkling idk): "Yo Tacticooler--" M: "Nah, these are for me, I'm Thirsty"
I'm sure this one is clear what it says but either way it says: "Me petting my nuclear bomb"
this one maybe counts as also bonus facts but it's mostly stuff I've already established, I'll only list the things you might not know in the transcript (also hehe ignore the part of me drawing her and agent 4 kissing that's not important :3c)
Agent^3 (Agent to-the-power-of Three) (Cube for short)
She shows up every tuesday at 3PM to train with the Captain
Birthday on April 28th
She's Afro Latina
And lastly,
ok tahts all, if u want to check out the previous Muffin Propaganda (which included a buncha info on her if you're curious) here's the link to that:
sorry about how long this is I copy and pasted each individual drawing because i dont wanna fill up my hard drive on my pc, i guess that way she takes up more space in ur brain or something idk ok bye
#splatoon 3#splatoon oc#splatoon#inkling#splatoon oc tourney#oc propaganda#Muffin (Splatoon OC)#inkling oc#splatoon art#splat3#splatoonpolls
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Magical Boy Tournament: Round 5
Entrant Propaganda:
Howl
He ate a star, which I think is more impressive than anyone else I've submitted.
Including Howl in a magical boy tournament is like submitting a nuclear bomb to a middle school science fair
he's the most magical and most boy
Emerald Heart
quick before liam walks the plank-- -> he's apparently sopping wet now
#howl pendragon#emerald heart#howls moving castle#magical warrior diamond heart#magical boy tournament#battle of the mahouboys#polls#round 5
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gideon the first is so fascinating to me. mans is described as so unfailingly loyal to john and married to his work both pre and post apocalypse that he
- let john remove his arm no questions asked
- walked into a hostile negotiation where a bunch of guns would be aimed at him ready to kill, armed with a nuclear bomb, bc john asked him to
- despite the fact that he was only ever “interested” in two people, pyrrha and wake, he ate the first’s soul and punched the second out of an airlock
and yet, when god asked him to mercy kill one (1) teenager, he just. he couldn’t do it. he admits that he pulled his punches and apologizes to her for it. that’s like one of three times he ever speaks
like yes sure harrow’s a pathetic wet rat who it is impossible not to feel sorry for but why was she the line in in the sand for him. u can allow murdering your soulmate and who you thought was the mother of your child. u can condone nuclear armageddon. but killing one fucked up teen is off the table. i want to study this man
#also who was that pact he made to protect john made WITH#alecto???#WILD if true#the locked tomb#tlt tag
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Last night I had a dream where I was at the mall with @ashermichaelprince and we went into a store with a bunch of ugly clothing. As I walked in I told @ashermichaelprince that I didn't have any money and needed to go ask my mom, fortunately they brought 5 dollars for us to share. While we looked at Christmas necklaces an announcement played saying that someone mixed a bunch of chemicals and made a nuclear bomb that would go off soon. @ashermichaelprince and I ran to a bunker, which contained a few people and my mother. The walls of the bunker were concrete with graffiti, it seemed we were in a tunnel with no end. As others cooked and ate rats, I realized that we would run out of food and slowly starve to death. To avoid this fate, I took out a gun and shot myself. As I lay there, I heard people crying and scream as my world faded to black.
Suddenly, I woke up in my mom's car while she pulled up in my driveway. She turned around and began to tell me how surprised she was that I was with her and alive along with telling how thankful she was for me not to be dead. I swore at her and called her an asshole for not stopping me from shooting myself, this didn't stop her gratitude. Finally, we walked out of the car to return home. Suddenly, a huge van full of strippers pulled, and a priest came out demanding I let him live in my house. I took out a toilet brush and beat him until he was unconscious. Unfortunately, I let my guarded down and all the strippers from the van snuck inside my house.
I decided to sit on my front porch and stare at the ground, when a cat covered in fleas and fruit flies came to me. I rushed inside to clean it in the sink, getting the bugs of it was very easy. Unfortunately, the longer I kept washing the cat, the smaller it got. It became a little kitten, then a mouse, then a few specs of dust. I scooped the dust into a test tube and wished for the cat to come back.
The cat was reincarnated into a man in a cave on a mountain. Though he had to sew and make his own clothes along with making his own equipment. As he began to climb down, a blizzard came and he fell unconscious. Thankfully, an old man carried him down to safety. Unfortunately, he died once he reaches the bottom of the mountain. Then I was in art class reading on a velvet cloth that the cat was a millionaire and left me in his will.
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Me: Literally doing some mundane chores.
My Brain: Hey remember when MLP in their series finale trapped a child in stone because she tried and succeeded to an extent with the help of two other villians to start a pony race war that in turn summoned basically a nuclear winter caused by mystical wind horses?
Said child before that tried to take over Equestria by trying to take magic away thinking that friendship = power(I mean she was right but also completely wrong) and when she got caught they sent her to freaking Tartarus.
One of the two creatures she teamed up with being a power-hungry centaur that in the past stole ponies life force, tricked/manipulated the literal emobdyment of chaos and took his magic, and who had an all-out DBZ style fight with Twilight Sparkle and forced her through a whole ass mountain and atomic bomb level magical attacks.
And the other creature they teamed up a was tyrannical Queen that drained ponies of their love, that the benevolent ruler of Equestria blasted permanent holes into at one point, who was implied to be intentionally withholding the proper way to feed her entire race so that she could control them better, and literally ate a kitten in the comics.
Who were called by the fanbase the Legion of Doom. Who at one point sang a tango musical number together.
To defeat them all three were trapped in stone together for seemingly enternity, who might be complete aware and conscious of everything going on around them. And then put on pubic display in the capital city for tourists to take pictures with.
Yea MLP was a riot right?
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@rvinfall asked :
Allegra—or Ellie, as she preferred—was already half deep into her ‘break up bottle’ of liquor when she heard some poor sap walk talking about… “Discount buffet?” Ellie looked at the stranger with big eyes. “Eh? Eden, did I hear this guy right?” She began to shake the poor man as if it were an interrogation. “Tell us! We’re still—” Hic! “Learning this planet!” “The other side of the hotel!” The man, a full foot taller than the 5’0” nothing girl, squeaked. “What other side?!” Galactic Batgirl shook him again. “Downstai—ahh!” He was flung off to the side, forgotten. Allegra clapped her hands like an excitable seal, turning to her trailblazing friend. “Food!”
unprompted. || always accepting
─「エデン」─ so, they had been doing an experiment. purely out of curiosity ! the TRAILBLAZER had mentioned to her bestie about how her warmer body temperature had come from the stellaron inside of her, and it was, more or less, like a living nuclear bomb and a sun with a sort of sentience. but that aside, it sparked a bit of a QUESTION and hypothesis they decided to test !
how many drinks would get the galactic baseballer drunk ?
and off they went !! to the CLOSEST PLACE that offered alcohol, and mind you, they did not stop at just one place or one type of alcohol, they were trying EVERYTHING. beer. wines. cocktails. shots. everything. and whatever went down eden's throat, her SUPPORTIVE BESTIE would also try them. how could one conduct an experiment without another participant. that, and eden wondered how much ellie could hold her liquor.
countless of bottles, different kinds of drinks, mixed and pure, some shots that burned their throats on the way down and HERE THEY WERE ! seated on the latest place that offered booze with allegra holding half-finished bottle in her hand, mind already buzzed by the effect and there sat EDEN next to her ...
completely sober. damn, the stellaron was something.
" buffet ? you mean those all you can eat place ? no matter how much you ate, you pay one fixed price ? even if you ate the entire place down to the bone ? yes yes ? " if it was possible, her raccoon ears would practically be sprouting from her head and perking excitedly. she grabbed the man's collar, forcing him to look them in the eyes as though he held the MOST IMPORTANT SECRET this planet could offer.
" let's make a bet. " golden hues SPARKED with determination, and a hint of competitiveness. though her friend was half-drunk out of her mind, it wouldn't stop her from a CHALLENGE, she knew her bestie well ! a glint appeared within those amber optics as she already got to her feet, pulling her friend up and supporting her.
" if you can eat more than me, i'll call up commander zhao and tell him how biteable he is. " she looked serious. dead serious. " BUT ! if i can eat more than you, " a gloved digit was raised as she pointed up. " we're going back to that bar to ask that guy for his phone number. y'know, the one you said he looked like a mafia head. with a dead glare. " she pointed to her eyes before holding out her hand.
" do we have a deal ? "
#rvinfall#.answered#.[ eden | trailblazer ]#.[ the best duo in the whole galaxy; coming soon to a planet near you !: ellie & eden ]#[ ME SLAPPING THIS TAG FOR THEM SO FAST#i CAN'T BREATHE AUTUMN#NOT EDEN ENABLING ELLIE TO GET WITH A RED FLAG THEY JUST SAW#ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR YUNYUN HAVING TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ... BETS ...#HJKLHJKHJKHJK i HAD BEEN LAUGHING FOR THE PAST 20 MINS I CANNOT BREATHE#I LOVE THEM SM ]#.alcohol tw
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