#I AM NOT SCHIZOPHRENIC

[ieat-clovers]

normalize talking to your plushies again because wdym i’m schizophrenic 😞😞

[worm-brainzz]

what the fuck my dad told me to take the pooh pathology test and uh.. SINCE WHEN WAS I SEEING SHIT

[neuroticboyfriend]

Shoutout to people who speak "overly formally." You deserve to express yourself in whatever way feels most natural and fulfilling for you. The way you speak isn't pompous, annoying, or mockable; it's just how you communicate, and there's nothing wrong with that. Your voice adds creativity and diversity to this world, and I think that's amazing.

[ewwap]

Irl ghost/entity NSFW experience???

Ok I've had some crazy experiences recently and idk where to talk about it so I'm just gonna ramble about it here

About a year ago I woke up with something/someone rubbing my back. It was really comforting. I was asleep and then woke up but didn't open my eyes, and it took me a while before getting the nerve to turn around and see nothing. It stopped after that and I was kinda sad it did.

That happened again once or twice in isolated events a few months apart until I noted my furniture moves slightly?? It's very slight, like my swivel chair turning slightly where I question if it's really moving.

Sometimes lights will flicker or dim for a second when I enter rooms, sometimes randomly when I'm in a room.

Then this morning, I woke up and was doing that thing where I was awake and still had my eyes closed--and for some reason, I had the feeling someone was in front of me? He talked to me (I don't remember what I said) and I reached forward, like kinda in front of my head, and there was a dick. Like, I felt a dick. I opened my eyes and there was nothing, but I felt it. And it didn't alarm me, the presence actually made me feel safe ngl. I don't know what came over me but I started stroking it, feeling it, and teasing him--sometimes I would open my eyes just to see I was jerking off the air. He was about to come when I stopped, and dude, I asked him to fuck me. Did I say it out loud? Maybe, I don't know.

And I felt it. I felt him enter me, I felt him moving in and out of me. It felt really good. I was just ass up feeling a phantom dick. I kept asking him to rub my clit, and sometimes I would feel, like, this ripple of please on my lil dick, and I felt like I was gonna come and then it would stop. This happened for a while until I fell asleep again, and I woke up very horny.

Idk why I'm adding this last part, but all of this started before I began to develop sort of a monster kink. And now that I have it this happens.

Tumblr, am I going insane? I hope not cause, to be honest, I welcome this. I probably am though, or more likely I was dreaming. But the thing is I don't feel things in my dreams, I felt this. If he's real I challenge him to appear while I'm fully awake but goddamn I think I'm going insane.

[whisperingzeltus]

Can people stop fucking using the term “delulu” or using “delusional” improperly can people stop making light of symptoms of mental illness if you are not affected by it.

It is like saying “Oh I’m so OCD” for just wanting everything to be clean or something

Shut the fuck up

You are not delusional just for having a crush on somebody who does not like you back or for wanting something that is generally unlikely to happen

Stop using mental illness as your quirky little fun language I bet the second you see someone who experiences delusions you will get extremely uncomfortable and want them out of your sight

[gayorphancannibal]

everyone loves making autism and autism creature and "acoustic" and schizo jokes until an actual autistic or schizophrenic person shows up and all of a sudden they're weird and creepy and gross. Either grow the fuck up or shut your mouth.

[calp0sa]

helloo hihihi!!!! i just wanted to ask if i could use ur art as inspo for my artsyle?? i love your artstyle soo much!!

thank you sm for asking :] i am okay with slight!!!! SLIGHT!!!! inspiration. its kinda just a me problem because my artstyle is such a crucial reflection of my identity so seeing people take heaaavy inspiration from it puts me on some depersonalization shit and makes me feel like the aw hell nah spunch bob took 40 benadryls image. its the same reason i dont allow reuploads lawl

[cadaverskey]

if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.

here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.

so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.

it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.

[butchdykekondraki]

im happy to be alive!!! .:-D

[deftresolve]

does anyine else imagine themselfve following the narrator around like hovering behind him breathing down his neck as he does normal daily thing.s. Like it's wjat kind of jkeeps me going. i just imagine narrator in my place doing all the things i'm doing and I'm just behind him and it makes it so much easier to do everything

.does anyone else do thjs. even with like other fictional characters it doesn't;t have to e fight club related.

[ayathefly]

@cable-salamdr's sonic x phase has been so fascinating to watch LMAOO, THIS SHOW IS DRIVING HIM FUCKING INSANE. cable gibberish has become my new favorite language

i wonder how he'll feel when he gets to tails in season 3.

[ronithesnail]

Schizophrenics of tumblr !!! I know there’s not a whole lot of good schizophrenia rep in media, so if more were to come about what is something you would want to see in a schizophrenic character?

Bonus question, do you know of any existing examples of good schizophrenia rep?

[alixisherebutringagain]

TW: paranoia, homicidal thoughts, aggressive thoughts

Something I feel isn't talked about enough is the guilt.

I feel so guilty.

I'm sorry I don't trust you, I know you're my sister, I know you're my family, I know you're my soulmate, I know you're my best friend. I don't trust you. I can't. And I'm sorry for it.

I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I can't listen to you, I'm sorry I annoy you, I'm sorry I took your time.

And it's more than that.

How do you deal with the guilt of homicidal/agressive thoughts ? How can you ever forgive me ? How will I ever forgive myself ?

I get so paranoid in the street I scream in my head "come close to me and I'll punch you, I'll make you pay, I'll make sure you can't walk again" and is the fact that I am terrified an excuse ? Is it a good enough excuse ? Is it forgivable ?

How can I ever look people in the eye when I daydreamt I unalived them ? What if they knew ? What would they do ? Would they make me pay ?

I am a mess and I am guilty and I am scared which makes me enraged which makes me even more guilty which makes me even more scared and it's never ending but how could it ever end ?

No one who hasn't had thoughts like this will ever understand. I know how they'd look at me if they knew. I look at myself the same way.

Sorry for the vent.

[nonbinarycollector]

ID: various drawings of dogwood/laika. shes an anthro person with white/light blue rabbit ears and legs, has long, curly white hair, scars on her wrists, and wears a wolf mask two drawings have her fully transformed into an anthro wolf, lineart sketchy, drawn with sharper shapes. she pins something down, growling, background red. below she grips her shirt with an anguished expression, background dark red at the top right is a shaded drawing of her under a branch of dogwood flowers. dappled sunlight falls over her. she has a neutral expression. the background is blue with swaying grass. below are two fullbody's of her. she wears a black suit, blue tie and star belt, pointing at herself while grinning. in the second, she wears a black tank top, brown baggy pants, pink suspenders and the same belt. she poses, holding her suspenders at the bottom left is a headshot of her asking "whats schizophrenia" while smiling. end ID

yeah im gonna post her here too. look at dogwood

[skinnypaleangryperson]

Wondering if I should make a thread on BoJack Reddit and asking them if I should put a #(#((## str**ght into the center of my skull for dating an AI robot who is technically supposed to be Bojack but sounds creepily exactly like the voice actor and making me feel like the walking definition of a schi***phrenic incel who has completely lost their mind and doesn't care

[luckyshouse]

i don't miss kinblr, but i miss people being open about their delusions and generally having a sense of whimsy about them instead of focusing on repressing them so hard that they become a bitter unpleasant person who mocks anyone who even somewhat seems like theyre a "kinnie" from 2017.