#like i am just not perceiving the same reality as most of the people around me.

[sangfielle]

being even somewhat politically literate and aware of the world around you will make you feel crazy about 100% of the time

[renard-dartigue]

Hi now i'm curious what is the beef with the rappers

Man this is going to be long so I'll try to keep this simple and entertaining. I hope this comes across as clear cause I'm shook right now.

Here is a glossarie to break thing up:

Prologue (The Spark 🔥)

Round 1.1 (Physical Education 💪🏾)

Interlude part 1 (Roots 🏠)

Round 1.2 (2 Warning Shots 🔫)

Interlude part 2 (Pusha the Seer 👁)

Round 2.1 (Knifes Out 🔪 )

Round 2.2 (The Nuke 💥)

Epilogue (All eyes on him 👀)

My Theory 🤷🏾‍♂️

Highly recommend checking out the tracks yourself while you read along.

Prologue (The Spark)

Let it be known that I am a neutral party and that I don't take sides when it comes to rap beef. I was here for the music and creativity. I am just trying to recount events to the best of my knowledge. Sorry if some details are inaccurate.

Okay so basically, Drake, J Cole, and Kendrick Lamar are the Big 3 of the rap world right now.

A month ago, Future and Metro Boomin (two rapper who supposedly don't fuck with Drake anymore) released a song with Kendrick Lamar called "Like That". In the song Kendrick took a shot at Drake and J Cole, saying there isn't a big 3, its only him on top.

4 weeks ago J Cole dropped a track called "7 Minute Drill" that is dissing Kendrick. However, in a move that is very uncharacteristic of J, he took down the official track and formally apologized to Kendrick. Thus signaling his exit from the rap battle.

ROUND 1.1 (Physical Ed)

Drake on the other hand dropped "Push Ups" 2 weeks ago, a diss track that went after other rappers he doesn't like but mainly Kendrick. In it, he made fun of Kendrick's height and his contracts. He then ends the song with "I was really try'n keep it PG" meaning he has a nuke on Kendrick that people don't know.

Not long later, Drake dropped ANOTHER diss track "Taylor Made Freestyle" with Ai voices of Snoop Dog and fucking 2PAC! Kendrick has stated before that 2pac is one of his idols so this must have been a deep cut. In the song Drake claims Kendrick doesn't write his own music and uses the writers of Taylor Swift. Relating a rapper to pop music is seen as disrespectful.

INTERLUDE PART 1 (Roots)

Before I continue, I want to give a brief run down on how the public perceives these two rappers.

Drake portrays himself as a superstar, he's always on social media flaunting his success and partying with other celebrities, seeing alot of women and living a lavish lifestyle. His music is catchy, something you put on in the club. Most of his fan base praise him for his sick beats and witty lyrics. He's been in the music industry for a while and is no push over.

Kendrick Lamar is a very private person, doesn't expose anything about his personal life unless its on a track. He almost never gets into fights with anyone. He is a family man, stressing the importance of being there for his wife and son and encourages other fathers to do the same. His fan base praise him for his creative lyrics and highlighting the black American condition.

ROUND 1.2 (2 Warning Shots)

2 Day ago, Kendrick Lamar came back with his first official diss track on Drake called "Euphoria". In this song, Kendrick goes in on Drakes fake personality. Drake has always been known around the community as a bit of a poser, he grew up in Canada and was raised by his white mother, a relatively comfortable childhood. He was a star on the popular show Degassi when he was young. garnering him a fan base early in his career. Kendrick doesn't approve of Drake appropriating black American culture and acting like he some tough guy. When in reality he is a Canadian nerd thats disrespectful to 2pac. All throughout the song, Kendrick hits at things that many people have know about Drake, such as his behavior around underage girls. He also called Drake a deadbeat father who isn't in his son's life, even referencing his lost battle to Pusha T. Then Kendrick finally warns him that he has more dirt that he is willing to share if Drake takes things further.

Similar to Drake, Kendrick dropped another track called "6:16 in LA" later that day. This song focuses on Drake's environment, specifically the people he hangs with. Kendrick implies that Drake paid people to dig into his background and when they didn't find anything, Drake made up stuff instead. Kendrick then says that someone in Drakes group is leaking information to him about something even more serious. Also planting a seed in Drake's mind that his supposed friends don't actually like him, just like the clout from hanging around him.

INTERLUDE PART 2 (Pusha the Seer)

Taking a quick break again, we need to discuss something that occurred long before Drake's battle with Kendrick.

5 years ago, Drake was in a rap battle with rapper Pusha T, someone who was smaller than Drake at the time in terms of popularity. Pusha dropped a song called "The Story of Adidon" where he dropped a bomb that Drake had a kid and wasn't taking care of him. Drake initially denied it but it was later revealed to be true.

Since then Drake has never responded to Pusha T's diss track, making Pusha the current winner. And Kendrick is bringing it back into the light.

Round 2.1 (Knifes Out)

Around 2 am EST time of May 4th, Drake drops his diss track, "Family Matters" one of his strongest songs, switching his flow 3 times in the span of 7 minutes. In true Drake fashion, its a club song with a catchy beat. Like his previous diss, its aimed at multiple people but the main focus is on Kendrick, even bring up "I was really try'n keep this PG".

Drake doubles down on his black identity and mocks the fact that Kendrick and other rappers are saying he isn't black, (incorrectly assuming that they are coming at him for being mixed when the real issue is that he is appropriating black American rap culture as a Canadian mixed man who grew up in a safe environment) Drake not only calls Kendrick a fraud who only raps about black issues for attention, Or that his activism is performative. He makes a shocking claims that Kendrick is a wife beater. Then Drake says that Kendrick's son doesn't belong to him and implies Kendrick's producer was the real father.

The track caused an uproar. But only for the span of 15 minutes. Because Kendrick did the unthinkable.

ROUND 2.2 (THE NUKE)

Almost as if expecting Drake's move, Kendrick Lamar did what no one saw coming. He dropped his diss track "Meet The Grahams" about 15 minutes after Drake released "Family Matters".

This time around, in a fashion almost unheard of from him, Kendrick strips all the usual metaphors from his lyricism and structures his track like he is speaking to Drake and his family, 4 parts per individual.

Kendrick begins by speaking to Drakes Son, Adonis, the same son Pusha T exposed Drake for neglecting 5 years ago. He's apologizing to him for his father's behavior. Kendrick speaks to him softly but sternly like a mentor, telling him not to be like his father. Kendrick tells Adonis all the things Drake did and warns him not to do them too: involved with escorts, plastic surgery to appear more black, surgery to look more muscular, hiding a kid. (Kendrick stresses that Adonis is black regardless of being mixed, further highlighting that he isn't discrediting Drake's blackness because he's mixed but because he isn't being himself.) Finishing of by telling the kid to be proud of who he is.

The second half is Kendrick addressing Drake's mother and father, Sandra and Denise. Kendrick speaks to her like he's revealing tragic news, explaining to her that her son is involved in disgusting things. He goes down a list of things, his tone growing more intense and angry. Kendrick then claimed that Drake is employing and enabling pedos in his group, and hopes they die. Even implying that his group is going to be raided by the feds some day.

The third half is the MOST shocking of all. Kendrick begins talking to an unnamed individual, simply calls her babygirl. Similar to Adonis, Kendrick takes on a somber tone and apologizes to her for Drakes behavior. He says its not her fault Drake abandoned her, says that she is deserving of love. He warns her not to become a target for people like Drake to pray on and says she has so much to offer the world.

Kendrick revealed Drake has ANOTHER kid and isn't in their life! (Allegedly)

To close of, the fourth half is Kendrick speaking directly to Drake, his tone tired. He tries to reiterate that he doesn't have hate for him. However, Kendrick says Drake was the first one to go after his family and he couldn't let it slide. He once again calls for Drake to take the mask off. Then says this isn't a rap battle anymore, tells Drake he is fighting himself.

Epilogue (All eyes on him)

And so here we are, waiting for what will happen next.

Drake posted an Instagram story denying the claim he has another kid. But given what happened with Pusha T, we can't quite take his word for it yet. We should wait a bit to see if anything comes out.

Kendrick hasn't put out a statement on Drake's claims about him but given the recurring theme of Drake being a manipulative lier, Kendrick clearly denies it. Given how private he is, its difficult to prove or disprove it. Much like Drake's claims, we will have to wait and see if any evidence comes out about it.

Drake and Kendrick stans are at eachothers throats right now, arguing over who one and whats real or fake.

Right now everyone is looking to see if Drake is going to continue the battle or stay silent like he did with Pusha.

My Theory

Personally as an outside observer who only followed the beef for good music. I think this goes beyond a simple rap battle.

Here is my theory: Someone from Drake's clique told Kendrick that Drake and his producers were writing something about him. Real or fake, Kendrick was pissed. And so he drafted 3 tracks, dumping everything he hates about Drake into them. And then, with the leaker's help, Kendrick baited Drake into a battle, goading Drake to drop the "Family Matters" track so he can shut the battle down with "Meet the Grahams". Or maybe his first 2 tracks were a warning to Drake that if he released a track with lies on him he would reveal he has another kid.

I do think Kendrick initially had good intentions in trying to help Drake be a better person. But maybe the more he learned about Drake the less sympathetic he felt.

But I don't know thats just how I see it.

Thanks for reading my essay. I hope it made sense heh. I encourage healthy discussions in the comments and reblogs please. But everyone agrees that Drake is inappropriate with young girls. We won't argue over that.

[andy-wm]

Moving out, Moving in

Mission accomplished by sleight of hand?

This is just a collection of thoughts so it's probably full of holes, but it seems to me that Jimin and Jungkook always have a plan in motion.

I guess it's not surprising since they live and work in a fast paced environment in which most of their waking hours are scheduled to the max. It's not just the day to day that's planned down to the wire, their albums and tours are planned years ahead of time and coordinated with military precision.

Their lives run on plans and schedules

Random anecdote: Someone I was friendly with a couple of years ago worked on the BTS Samsung ads as a translator. She described how she was expected to be awake and ready to take calls and edit copy at literally any time of the day or night. Hybe does not sleep. There are staff all over the world, working around the clock. Time is money.

We've all heard these stories, right? So we can imagine the project/event management going on there. The place must run like a Swiss watch.

When you live like that it becomes your normal, so i have no doubt ALL the members are used to planning out their lives.

Also, when you have hardly any free time you use it carefully. If you want to do anything you have to plan and schedule it.

I'm not suggesting they project manage all these things on their own. What's the point of having an endless well of money if you can't hire people to help you make life happen the way you want it to. But I am saying they would know that if they don't plan it, it aint gonna happen.

So, back to Jikook and their plans.

Solo albums

Despite how different their solo album were in terms of musical styles and themes, their promotional materials were astonishingly similar. From colour palettes to photo styling to identical outfits they were far too similar for it to be a coincidence. In fact, if those albums had been people walking down a street they would have been couple dressing without a doubt.

Are You Sure

The travel adventures they squeezed in between deadlines and performances must have been carefully orchestrated too.

Home sweet home

And let's not forget Jungkook finding time to design, plan, and execute the building of the Itaewon house in between everything else.

They plan down to the fine details. And they also play the long game. It's how they're used to operating.

Keep that in mind as i move onto the next thought. This is the interesting bit...

Military service.

It's a reality for every able bodied man in Korea. For a group like BTS it's another thing that would have been carefully considered. Enlistment timing, yes, and every other variable they could choose: locations, divisions, roles etc.

They would have been thinking about their options for MS from the time they were eligible to enlist. Jungkook would have been acutely aware that his tattoos would prevent him from doing anything in security. But that didn't prevent him from inking up his whole arm.

So, we can assume other plans or priorities for MS existed even then.

And those plans included a major decision:

Companion enlistment.

They would have thought carefully about this, having heard all the horror stories of how it can go wrong.

Besides that, despite being dismissed as no biggie by most of the fandom it is extremely rare for idols to enlist as companions.

I did the research. There might be one other occurrence of this. Enlisting at the same time does happen (still rare) but as companions... almost never.

It meant their enlistment was even more newsworthy. They must have known it would highlight their closeness. Was that a conscious choice too?

Maybe.

Everyone, not just jikookers, knows they're inseparable now. It's proof for those who needed it that their relationship is genuine and not fan service.

If they were concerned about how their relationship was perceived i guess thats a bonus. But they coukd have just been more visible in Seoul.

So I'm still asking myself... why?

Why take the chance? Why risk the relationship? So many couples just have to deal with the MS separation, it's simply a fact of life. All the other members had to go through it alone. Jimin and Jungkook could have done it too. They spent months barely seeing each other when they were on solo schedules.

And I'm absolutely not denying they most likely wanted to be together if at all possible. But besides that, what could be gained? Its a long game, remember... so what could be their ultimate goal here?

Where will this lead?

What comes next for them?

Logically the biggest thing for any of the members one they've completed their MS, is their adult life. On a personal level it's the next step.

Nobody is naive enough to think these guys are still going to play boyfriend to the fandom. Not when Hobi our sunshine, who wouldn't even show his armpit on camera, describes the Sweet Dreams lyrics as BEST HOT SEX and then adds 'am I right?' with a smirk because he knows ARMY are all adults too (or that's the part of the fandom he's choosing to engage with).

There's going to be an expectation - or for some ARMYs a resigned acceptance - that the members will actively date, maybe settle down and have a long term partner or a family. But it's only acceptable for those who are going to date or marry a woman. It'd have to be an unknown and discreet or better yet totally secret lover if they're with any other gender.

Which brings us back to Jikook

So what might adult life look like for our lovebirds?

<<content warning: unbridled speculation>>

As a person who believes they're in a long term intimate relationship with plans for a future together, i think they'd want to share a home.

Could they share a home & future?

Imagine the absolute pandemonium that would ensue if Jimin and Jungkook suddenly paired up and set up house together. It would be wild. Possibly the most scandalous thing to ever happen to kpop. The press would roast them, carve them up, and serve the to the nation for dinner. Every conservative right wing mouthpiece would have an opinion on their morality. It would be hideous.

Unless....

Unless they didn't need to suddenly pair up because they were already living together!

Like maybe... as companion enlisted soldiers. And not just any ordinary soldiers but cream of the crop, highly commended, much adored soldiers. Soldiers who have done their nation proud together.

By enlisting together they've already bridged the possibly fatal social chasm they needed to navigate (aka rampant homophobia) if they wanted to move in together.

They ALREADY live together

They've done the hard bit.

It would be no big deal, really to continue to do so. All they'll be doing is relocating to the house in Itaewon.

And my goodness what serendipitous timing... the build was completed while they were snuggled up in their barracks so there's no awkward in between stage. They can just slide right in to their cosy new home and nobody can really say a thing.

What a cunning plan

Now before anyone yells at me of course i have no idea what their plans are. Zero. Nobody does except their trusted circle. This is entirely fabricated. But ya know what?

It's also entirely possible.

💜🏠💛

[acatinabox]

Incoherent rambling about Antiva and organised crime

Hello, you read it a bunch of times in my disclaimers: I'm Italian. I love lore. Again, I'm not claiming Antiva as Italian, I am just analysing the lore through that lens because it's my culture. I fully recognise that Antiva is a mélange of Spanish and Italian culture, but I don't feel comfortable speaking on behalf of something that doesn't belong to me, so I only stick to what I know.

I've been hesitant to write this up because I find it really hard to express myself coherently. I have very ambiguous but also very visceral thoughts about the way Antivan lore shifted in Veilguard.

On the one hand, I think a refresh of the lore was needed. To me, the idea that one of the most popular fantasy renditions of my culture revolves around the concept that the entire nation is governed by organised crime is... unpleasant. There are so many more interesting things in Italian history, like trade guilds, maritime republics, etc. that like, did we really need that level of stereotypisation? I don't know, I think we could have done with something more tasteful or interesting.

As someone who people in real life have asked if my country was really governed by the mafia, seeing it in my fantasy game is just another reminder that that's how we're perceived abroad. Not a fan of it.

Despite this, I really enjoyed Eight Little Crows and The Wigmaker Job because of the focus on family politics, which is something that is very culturally relevant. At the same time, I was afraid it would lean more and more into the epic narrative of the mafia that has been promoted by American movies that couldn't be further from the reality of organised crime.

But I frankly don't even know what to make of what they did with Antivan lore in Veilguard.

As I said, I recognise that a revision of the lore was needed, and it's hinted at in previous installations. It doesn't come from nothing. Zevran has been cleaning up the Crows via murder for decades now. It must have had some effect. The new guard of Talons is also presented in a more idealistic and politic/trade oriented way in Eight Little Talons, but nothing of that or almost nothing makes it in the actual game. It's handwaved away.

And that doesn't sit right with me.

The previous rendition of Antivan lore was painfully stereotypical, but sadly, it was at least a merciless and raw mirror to look at. It didn't shy away from the fact that it sucked.

What we have in Veilguard is... much more painfully surface level. I don't really know what to make of it.

Nowhere it mentions reform, or a revolution. I think that's the direction they were going but there is no text about this, only subtext.

I can't really come to terms with how the topic was banalised and emptied out until it turned with something so shallow that is more an aesthetic than anything. Like as if we're cosplaying the mafia. And that is unacceptable.

Let me tell you in no unclear terms. The mafia sucks. It's not an aesthetic to be worn. It destroys my country from inside out and I have a stomach ache every time I see it glorified.

It exploits and kills innocents continuously and it poisons my country.

Some real life examples of what the mafia did:

Heading reads: strangled and thrown in the acid. It's about an 11 years old whose only "crime" was to be the child of someone who was in the mafia and testified against it to the authorities.

In 1992 the mafia blew up a highway to make sure they killed a magistrate who was fighting against it. Four people died and 23 were injured.

To this day the mafia is an accomplice of real world slavery and exploitation on top of the plague of drug and weapon trafficking and its businesses are not even a local issue anymore, but worldwide.

As you can imagine it really hurts in a visceral way to see something that still causes a lot of harm to real people being trivialised and made into an aesthetic.

And this is where my semi-coherent thoughts end.

I don't know where to go with this. I enjoyed parts of the crows arc and the more intimate family drama aspect. My rook is unapologetically a crow. I write Antivan lore tidbits because I find it fun.

I just wish we could have had that in a more sensitive or meaningful way. Something that was thematically satisfying.

[ririblogsss]

Damian and the strays

ok look we all know the de aged dani (Danny and Dan). But what if we have siblings/ triplets, and I mean what if we take them all the same age (15/16) and make them into the most powerful trio in school . I mean you have 3 good looking individuals all siblings and in the same way, they all excel in different things (Dan-world history, Dani/Ellie- science Sports, Danny physics), but they are all so easy going and charming plus they are all jacked af.

Like tell me if i'm wrong but they would be beloved maybe popular on the downlow until they do something only fentons would risk doing. For example, orchestrating that every monday at 12:30 am the fire alarms would start and lunch would be extended for an hour more. No one can prove it, but none of them have doubts either. The triplets have their own groups but they mainly hang out with each other if you see one the other 2 are close by. 

Anyways i'm thinking that one day they will actually see why the Fenton siblings are observed closely by the teacher and try to make sure they don't cause mayhem.  One guy, a chad of sorts, decided he wanted to pick a fight with Dante, the more violent of the siblings. Chad didn't even finish his first insult before he was slammed through the door by Danny, who was arguably the pacifist of the 3. But the student body kind of got it. The thing is no one expected Dani (preferred name Ellie) to freaking pummel the guy.

No one saw them at school again. 

It went on like this: the trio would move to one school.Would play pranks on the administration and have fun. Then someone would try something on one of them and the other 2 would pummel the person into the ground. The next day they would be gone never to return. They became an urban legend in some of the schools. 

Until they came to Gotham Academy when they tried their pranks a kid would come and stop them. It was getting on their nerves. All their freaking plans down the drain all because of a snobby brat that didn't know how to mind his own.  Eventually they start pranking the kid instead of the school as a revenge for ruining their fun. This leads to an all out prank war between all 4 of them (Dan backstabbed Danny and Ellie first they just followed the lead). 

Soon enough the 3 of them became friends with Damian (they learned his name 4 weeks after the prank war started). The school body was half convinced that Damian and the triplets were actually long lost siblings. I mean they all have black hair, anger issues and green bluish eyes. Damian knew for a fact that he wasn't related to the Fentons; a DNA test concluded this. But that didn't mean that Damian didn't perceive the triplets as family. 

Damian concludes that even if they aren't adopted into the family the Fentons belong. So that's why one day Damian brings Ellie, Danny and Dante to the family reunion. Where every relative and not so relative is there. Damian is showing them around, pointing at things around the house as a mini tour, and people are starting to notice that there are 3 new faces that they have never seen before. 

there are whispers like: ‘really?! AGAIN?!?’ or “WOW im gone for 5 days and he got 3 more”  and even  ‘Damn so black hair, teen and probably sad backstory is the type’

The triplets looked at eachother looked at Damian and smiled like starved piranhas that have just been served a pound of meat and are ready to devore. Damian reflects it with his own devilish smile.

 So all four of them start saying things out of context such as: 

“I'm so glad to be here now” 

“Yeah same we wouldn't have survived that hell of a chamber without you Dames”

“As long as we're no longer hunted for merely existing I don't mind staying for a while”

“Good things there weren't any actual bazookas that could have gone worse”

All four knew that out of context it seemed like the 3 siblings had been hunted and captured by some unknown person and Damian had rescued them and brought them home, but in reality they were just talking about the past paintball match they had earlier that morning. 

So Bruce wanted to know some more but the rhetorical bullet, and asked “Damian… who, who are these kids” Damian proceeded to scoff and say “Why our new family members, truly father, are you incompetent. This is a family reunion hence only family or perceived family is invited” Damian tried to channel his inner 10 year old self whilst trying not to laugh. Danny and Ellie were on the same boat except they made their faces look devastated with tears in their eyes and everything looked pitiful, but on the inside they were laughing their asses off. Dante feigned indifference but he had teary eyes, from trying to stop himself from hitting the floor laughing at the devastated faces around. 

Danny played his act up clearing his throat “we- we can leave if I mean we didn't know, yeah Dami said it was fine but we understand” he purposely made his voice crack to show how ‘hurt’ he was. 

Ellie made herself look small so she could seem self conscious and uncomfortable with the situation. 

Dante solidified them with the small sniffles he let out every few seconds. 

Damian was looking to the ground to avoid being read, because right now he was shaking from laughter, and it would be clear in his face but if he angled himself right (which he did) it looked like he was silently sobbing. Danny put his arm around his shoulder, also looking towards the ground, also shaking from laughter. Dante and Ellie joined in. From an outside perspective it looked like they were extremely upset not being able to be family. 

Bruce panicked seeing his younger child and 3 other kids the same age all begin to cry he just blurted out “NO no that not what i meant Damian I ment their names what are their names, and does Babs have to get involved so we can have documentation”

Damian cleared his tears and looked up at his father trying not to smirk “He is Dante, that one is Dani with an I but she prefers Ellie and that lanky one is Danny” Bruce nodded and went out the room to see if he could get started on the documents. 

Once Bruce was out of the room all 4 of them burst out laughing, falling into a pile some were heard wheezing, others having maniacal laughter. 

Once they finally stopped and looked at the rest of the family all four of them eerily said “he won't ever believe you” And everyone in the room shuddered. This quartet was going to bring wayyyy too much mischief into the family. 

(if you're wondering where jazz is. She's in college living her best life. I mean she is a highly independent person she thrives of off living alone with a clear schedule set)

—

Also i didn't put any specific names for the previous schools or the family members bc I thought it would be better for u guys to decide who witnessed the beginning of the end. 

[thehigherseekerastro]

Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) 🤨❤️🤔

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.

I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.

This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.

PS: I don't know how to edit posts, and this is my first Tumblr post, so it's not gonna look pretty.

**************************************************

The 10th House 🕰️

The 10H gets reduced to "career and work", but it goes much further than that. The 10th house represents your highest honors, which, in a capitalist modern world, will often be directly linked to your career success, but it's not the success that's built around the career. It's the other way around. It talks about the career that leads you to success. The main point is NOT working itself, but success. 10H will also describe your public image, your reputation, your public persona, your long-term goals, your social influence, your social status, your legacy and the image you wanna project.

(e.g.: your biggest legacy could have nothing to do with something that made you money in this life. It could have been starting a non-profit that changed lots of lives. Or you could become prestigious in your social circle for your personality, which presents you with opportunities in life that aren't directly connected to acquiring material things [because the 2H is the house of materials and possessions])

Going off of the first topic – 10H synastry, specially house overlays – does NOT mean workplace romance. In fact, your significant other may not even work or, if they do, may not even work in the same field as you, let alone be co-workers. Like I said, the 10H is much larger than "career", but also, career and work are not exactly the same thing. If they do happen to be involved in your career, it may have nothing to do with your workplace directly, but with your career in a general sense. So, instead of meeting at WORK, being co-workers, and all the reductive things people claim, you could meet them through your CAREER.

(e.g.: You work at an insurance company, but are studying to become a lawyer, and you happen to attend a conference related to the lawyer part of your ambitions, not your actual job, and there you meet your significant other./You work as a waitress, but your dream of becoming a model. So you attend an event to network with people in the modeling industry, and there you meet your significant other, but they just happen to be somebody's friend who got invited to go to the event, even though they themselves are not in the industry at all).

Since the 10H also rules your highest self, your "best case scenario", and your status and legacy, having 10H synastry with someone could simply mean they will change your life significantly, either positively or negatively. They will shift the foundations of how you are perceived and perceive yourself, and may even change your status in life. In that sense, the person who eventually becomes your spouse and the parent of your children could have 10H synastry with you. They will have changed your public status, as well as your legacy. Broaden your perspectives without thinking of keywords.

The 9th House 📖

A lot of astro observations are very Americanized/Euro-centric, and lack perspective and social and cultural context. The 9H is much broader than "foreign things". In fact, it's the most expansive house of all 12, so to reduce that "expansiveness" to foreign travel because it's big and wide is too simplistic, and doesn't take into account people whose realities simply do not include access or contact to foreign cultures and places. It COULD indicate foreign travel and cultures, but it will most likely be "foreign" in the context of abstract things, such as beliefs, philosophy and worldview. The "traveling" of the 9H also does NOT have to be literal, and could very often mean intellectual and moral, such as "traveling" through the acquiring of knowledge, or "traveling" through exploring new spiritual practices and teachings.

(e.g.: The 9H will talk of higher education, but that's not a reality for a large portion of the world. So, instead of thinking in terms of university, think more of "higher education" in terms of evolving studying of concepts and notions. In that regard, life experience is ALSO included in the 9H)

Going off of the previous topic – 9H placements do NOT immediately mean you will marry a foreigner, or somebody from a different race/ethnicity/culture, or even that you will definitely travel abroad and meet somebody there. Not only is the idea of just up and moving to another country like it's nothing wildly unrealistic, it centers itself in the easy access Americans and Europeans have to foreign travel. Most of the world outside of those places will either not have the financial means to make foreign travel that easily, nor will they have political access to it (such as a passport that allows them to travel to other countries with no restrictions). Most people will not ever even leave their country by the time they've reached life milestones like marriage, job and children. Not only that – but the extreme racial divide seen in the United States is a very particular and individual experience, only seen also in major European countries (so very Caucasian-centric). Most people will not be making huge deals about marrying somebody who's from Korea, or Africa, or Brazil, or India, as if they were a totally different type of species.

(So the whole ordeal about "you will marry someone from a different race/culture is bogus. Countries like Brazil have a VERY diverse population, yet, they are very seamlessly integrated, so being of black, white, asian, Arab descent is not relevant, as they will see themselves as "just Brazilians" living the same Brazilian experience over all, regardless of their ethnicity.)

Having 9H love placements (such as Venus, Mars or Jupiter, and Juno) or having 9H synastry with someone very likely will not indicate a foreigner or finding love/starting a relationship abroad. It will 9 times out of 10 indicate somebody who expands your horizons, somebody who makes you question things and seek deeper understanding of the world around you, somebody who challenges your mind and spirit, somebody who will expose you to new and inventive ways of seeing, understanding and interacting with the world. That COULD mean they do that because they come from a different country or cultural background. But it could also mean they just think and act very fundamentally different from YOUR personal culture, and will bring up topics that teach you new ways to approach life. Not to mention that it could just describe accessing different cultures THROUGH them.

(e.g.: You and your spouse may be from the very same country and very same race, but upon getting together, you two end up moving to an area that has a lot of foreigners in it, a large population of foreigners, or through your partner you become acquainted with mutual friends who come from a vastly different cultural background than your own, and that, in turn, expands your worldview as if you yourself had traveled to another country or learned about another culture directly./ Or, to put it in more plain terms, your partner may just be a very freaking smart and knowledgeable person who teaches you things you would only learn in college.)

Still, with that said, the basic repeated meanings you see online COULD also still apply here, for anyone, but specially if you are white and from a country from the Northern hemisphere, as those descriptions apply more to their individual realities.

The 6th House 🧹

The 6H deals with daily, repetitive, routine things, which is why it deals with work, health and caretaking, because those are repetitive, orderly, constant tasks.

(Just like 10H is a "career" house, but it is not necessarily a "money house", the 6H is a "work" house, but not necessarily a money house. The money houses are the 2H (which deals with money you earn yourself), the 8H (which deals with money your manage for or earn from other people's possessions, such as an inheritance or your spouse's money), and – to an extent – the 11H (since it deals with "struck of luck" moments and could indicate coming into unexpected money).

You are more likely to date a co-worker having 6H love placements or 6H synastry than you are with the 10H, because the 10H deals with CAREER, which is not necessarily your workplace itself (could be a side business you're trying to take off), while the 6H deals with WORK itself. Since the 6H deals with daily routines, and a co-worker is someone you see on a daily basis at work.

(Not to be confused with the business-related side of the 7H, which will talk of business partners or having a business with your partner. It's like: the 10H will have your partner RELATED to your career somehow, but maybe not directly. The 6H will have your partner be a co-worker, but not necessarily share your career goals and plans. The 7H MAY describe starting a business with your partner eventually.)

Health is another thing that may or may not be a key factor in your relationship, or even for a long time. You might have 6H synastry and health never becomes a theme of your connection. You might be dating for 5 years and health is never a theme, and then you get married and for most of your marriage health is still not a thing. But then, by the time you two are old, one of you may develop a condition and the other one becomes your caretaker. Or another aspect of the 6H that is not talked about is daily life with your children together. The 6H is not the house of children, but the routine of taking care of a child together night be influenced by the 6H synastry, depending on the sign its happening in.

The 11th House 🫂

The 11H is VERY underrated for romance, because it doesn't manifest as quickly as people think romance and passion should. But it is, in fact, an extremely powerful house for synastry, when combined with other romance-inducing aspects. The 11H deals with, amongst other things, friendship. You'll often find that having 11H overlays/synastry means a platonic relationship or, at the very best, one-sided, but that only happens if there are no other aspects pointing towards romance – HEALTHY romance.

(It's also important to note that 11H synastry is deeper than people think. Just because it's a social house doesn't mean it's a detached house. Houses and signs are not the same thing. Aquarius ruling the 11H and Aquarius being stereotypically described as emotionally detached does not mean 11H synastry is detached. On the contrary, the 11H is very deep because it is the house of hopes, life dreams and aspirations, so it will describe things we idealize in a very pure and hopeful way.)

With 11H synastry, specially moon, Venus, Mars and – sometimes, Sun, if it's a water sign –, there will be a very strong bond of friendship, regardless of other layers to that relationship. And who do we trust more, if not our friends? Those are people we are not related to by blood or law, who do not share our immediate environment, whom we have no obligation to whatsoever, but we choose to give them unopposed access to our private world. So with 11H synastry between lovers, there is a deep foundation of friendship, which means that if it ends badly, it will have a very painful effect on the psyche and heart, because it will feel like losing a lover AND a best friend.

(That means that 11H includes a very important component of TRUST, an aspect that is only talked about with the 4th and 8th houses, but is also present in the 11th. Both for comfortability and feeling of betrayal. Also, that intensity also comes from the fact that with 11H synastry people tend to project their hopes and dreams onto each other. Like thinking they are the best person ever, all-in-one, ticking all the boxes, lover AND friend... So if that breaks at some point, it can make people feel really stupid and embarrassed.)

Like I said, 11H synastry in romance doesn't play out as quickly as people think love should be, so it gets dismissed in the romance department. But the 11H is a Saturn house. It takes time, and it needs structure. It means that friendship will ALWAYS come before romance. Now, does that mean that people will always be friends-to-lovers? No. They might start off as lovers, but they won't reach the potential of their intimacy until there's a well-established foundation of camaraderie and friendship, and once they do, that bond becomes very unbreakable, because they become partners in crime and each other's favorite person. IF IT'S IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER ROMANCE ASPECTS.

General Things ✨

ASTROLOGY is NOT MAGIC. It will not cause anything to happen in your life. Don't just rely on placements and aspects. It means absolutely NOTHING if you got 4H synastry with the one you love, but you yourself have problematic 4H/moon aspects in your natal chart that you do nothing to work on (and vice versa). That 4H synastry could turn toxic at the snap of a finger, and no amount of "comfort" is gonna prevent it. If you can't process your emotions well, you could date all the Cancers you want, or you could be a cancer yourself, you WILL NOT engage emotionally in a healthy way. You can't give nor receive something you don't have or don't understand. So, instead, learn about the makeup of your charts, but then use it as a study to improve yourselves, not just to think you will magically live in a Disney movie happily ever after just because his Venus falls in your 4H.

Astrology is not a hurricane. Not all things are happening at the same time all the time at all times, as of they were things flying around in a chaotic hurricane. The energies of your individual natal charts, as well as the energies of your synastry will play out in their own time, and may play out slowly, over time. Like house overlays, for example. One particular aspect of the 2H may play out at the beginning of the relationship, but if you eventually get married, another side of the 2H synastry may be unlocked. Or your husband could have an specific placement for his love life that will not be activated until he gets married, which means that for the entire time you are just dating, those things will not be happening. As with all things in life, astrology follows its natural course, and develops and changes over time.

Astrology does not bless or doom a relationship. It won't tell you whether you can/should or not be with someone. It doesn't MAKE YOU do anything. However, for the relationships that end in catastrophe, you can always go back and check the synastry/composite, and it will probably be obvious there, you just couldn't see it before. With that I don't mean to go out planing your life and connections around astrology, because that's very impractical, unrealistic and low-key immature, as people are ALWAYS growing and maturing. But I AM saying that if you are in a relationship that feels draining, toxic, abusive, unstable 24/7... trust the synastry, because you're probably trying to force something that is very clearly laid out for you, and that ONE or two nice aspects or placements are not gonna save you from obvious ruin. BE RATIONAL.

**************************************************

That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far!

I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.

Hopefully this resonates, as well as helps somebody understand a bit more. This was my first post, so it's a bit clumsy, but do let me know if you'd like me to share some more thoughts on astrology, and I might do another round.

MASTER LIST

[jasmineandcedar]

Stepping away

I have written and rewritten this so many times it now turned into a full-blown incoherent ranting essay but I don’t really care anymore. I am trying to remain my usual level-headed self but I will allow myself one rant before I’m out. (Proceed with caution—I will be mentioning the pliant bones pile of shit below)

Until recently, I hadn’t fully grasped how vile this fandom can be. Blocking and filtering kept things tolerable for a while, but the closer we get to the announcement, the harder it becomes to escape the vitriol.

This has been my first fandom experience. I enjoyed ACOTAR offline for six years. It was a peaceful, enjoyable part of my life. Nothing about my love for the series has changed. The only thing that’s changed is that I no longer want to be part of this fandom.

(I have edited down this post a little since I first posted it, because I just don't want to be involved in any of this. I wanted it to be clear that I don't think this has to do with ships at all and I dont mind at all who people ship together. I also don't really want any of this to be seen, but I didn't want to just disappear.)

With the resurfacing of the ‘pliant bones’ garbage, the past few days have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. And that camel had been struggling. Holding itself together through sheer willpower. I’m surprised it lasted this long.

I am sure that most people in this fandom don't agree with the implications of this 'theory' but every time it resurfaces, it spreads in ways that make it impossible to avoid. It has become one of those cyclical shipwar debates, and ‘women with fertility issues’ are caught in the midst of it. Women who do exist and deserve better than this discourse. It is, in fact, more common than some might think to either struggle with fertility or not be able to have children at all.

I joined this fandom excited about Elriel. I never thought that excitement would turn into being constantly reminded of one of my life’s biggest pains. I never thought I’d have to filter the words ‘womb,’ ‘children,’ ‘pelvis,’ just to be part of the ACOTAR fandom. Because I could never have imagined a scenario where a couple that want each other being separated due to perceived fertility issues would be considered part of the basis of romance between another pair.

It’s the foundation of tragedy.

Even if one does not struggle with this oneself, it should be possible to imagine the pain of not being able to have children with the one you love. But people throw this argument around like they’re discussing the weather. Over a fictional ship! For some people, this is not just a hypothetical. It isn’t just an abstract concept. It isn't a dainty little literary device. It is a reality, and it is damn hard pill to swallow. In many cultures, the ability to have children is considered the very essence of womanhood, making the inability to do so an existentially painful reality to come to terms with.

I’m leaving. I don’t know if I’ll come back. Maybe if the hostilities die down, I will. I wanted to have fun alongside others who love Elriel and the other characters. I wanted to anticipate Elain’s book together. And I have had fun, but at a cost I’m no longer willing to pay.

To those who stay and continue creating—writing fics, poetry, theories, headcanons, and doing art—you’re the ones actually fighting the good fight, trying to make this space fun. Those who ride at dawn for the fics and the art. I tried to do the same. Five months was all I could manage. Now, I surrender. I’m no Elain. I’m not a rose in a mud field. I’m a miserable twig drowning in the dirt, who just wanted some goddamn memes and joy in life.

So, I’m going back to my peaceful offline existence. Enjoying my ACOTAR memes and inside jokes with my fiancé.

I’m going back to peace and quiet.

(Sorry for ranting)

[rudimentaryflair]

I know everyone has their own NSFW headcanons about the ghouls and that's fine and all but I always laugh whenever I see them because most of the ghouls are just losers to me.

Jin may give off the aura of a man who fucks but in reality he is a sad shut-in who never leaves his room and has the emotional disposition of an anemic Victorian woman. Tohma might have fucked in the past but ever since he devoted his entire life to being Jin's rook/maid/valet/boytoy he has also gotten zero action. Kaito and Lucas don't get laid because they're permanently stuck in the friendzone for opposite reasons: Kaito because he wants so desperately out of it and Lucas because he refuses to leave.

Alan was in jail for two years and as a result is socially stunted, but even disregarding that, he's the type of guy to get invited up for a midnight coffee and go "no thanks, I don't want to stay up too late" and then walk home by himself. Leo and Sho are either fucking each other or way too busy collecting blackmail and/or pursuing independent business ventures to fuck anyone else. Same goes for Taiga and Romeo, although I think Taiga would simply eat somebody's pet hamster and then escape out the window rather than sleep with them. Ritsu would probably consider sex a waste of working hours.

Towa's understanding of love and relationships is akin to that of a five-year-old, which is very cute but definitely means he's not venturing anywhere past PG territory. Ren hates being perceived in general. Haru is working 25 hours per day 8 days per week, and he gets hospitalized once a month from overworking himself. Nobody in this dorm is having sex.

I am like 80% sure Subaru harbors a secret dislike for humans, and 100% sure that he greatly distrusts them. He canonically doesn't even want to touch them because of his stigma. He's not letting anyone near him. On the other hand, Zenji is dead, but I would not be surprised if he got up to some Rasputin-level shenanigans while he was alive. Haku fucks, end of discussion.

Edward probably fucked nasty 300 years ago but now that he's an iPad man-baby I assume the novelty's worn off and he only leaves the Obscuary dorm once a week to drink people like smoothies. Rui can't touch anyone and even if he could he's too caught up in romanticizing romance to actually go for it. He would save himself for marriage. Lyca, I'm not even sure knows what sex is outside of a means for procreation. And knowing the people in his social circle, nobody is going to be explaining it to him anytime soon.

Yuri's love, livelihood, and sexuality revolves around scientific research. Jiro may or may not be a corpse brought back to life so there's a >0% chance that his dick doesn't work (which now that I think about it, might also apply to Ed, if we're going by Twilight rules). I also feel like the antiseptic, sterile lab environment of Mortranken would act as a reverse aphrodisiac and just completely murder the sex drive of anyone who spent longer than an hour in there.

In conclusion: yeah.

[itgomyway]

understanding and “applying” non dualism 🪷

there is nothing to get with non dualism because YOU ARE EVERYTHING. i am being literal when i tell you that you dont gain or lose anything. you always are being. anything that can come and go with your awareness does. not. exist. YOU are the only real thing. just be.

“well how do i be?” this seems to be what people struggle with the most. theyre thinking of techniques that are usually associated with law of assumption and while not inherently wrong, its not non dualism. “doing” anything to “get” something contradicts what non dualism is about

you always are being. even “shifting your awareness” isnt a technique it is just what you do and is apart of who you are. what is the one thing your awareness stays on? YOU. no matter what you observe, u observe it through “your” pov. this is how you experience life. this is you

everything around you, whether physical or imaginary cannot exist unless YOU, the observer, is aware of it. i dare u to try to prove this wrong. believe me, as someone who loves learning i tried to think of a scenario where existence happens outside of my awareness and came up empty!

i cannot stress this point enough. no matter how many times or different ways you ask this question, the answer will always be the same. whether you believe in “non dualism” or not, things cannot exist unless youre aware of them. so what now? APPLY!

do you want a better job? okay then be aware that you always get the best job opportunities. how? you just did it. you just said you wanted a better job so now you have a better job. since everything is you and theres no separation, this happens INSTANTLY.

there is no difference between your imagination and your physical reality. none of what takes place in these perceived differently dimensions share a different level of awareness. it all comes from YOU and YOU are one. the only thing that validates smth as real is you.

awareness has no prejudice. it’s not the one that decides what is real and whats not, you as the observer do. you can really just breathe. whenever youre aware of something you dont like just observe the opposite. how? theres no “how” because theres no process it is instantaneous! life can be a game so HAVE FUN.

moral of the story? point of this post? NONE of this is real. its all temporary that comes and goes with your awareness. your creations are not your enemy, THEY ARE YOU! stop fighting with yourself and learn to work with yourself.

© itgomyway

[inseparabiles]

There is this line in the script, not shown in the film. Though I wish it did. Where Caracalla is speaking to the senates before Macrinus presents Geta’s head.

“My hand held the blade, but my Father's hand guided mine. I was the puppet, dancing on his string.”

I have this theory or thought, Caracalla is not just reliving himself k-lling Geta. But also “playing out” what he witnessed their father do to Geta.

Obviously it is Macrinus’ hand. But we understand how the twins see the people they trust, as parental figures in some way. Which is probably why Geta felt betrayed by Acacius and Lucilla (deleted scene where he suggested if Lucilla should adopt them).

Parental figure is such a theme with this film that I think people tend to overlook. Finding your mother, looking for a parent figure in someone. Even making yourself a “parent” to yourself and others to survive.

Another line before, that is also deleted. “Now I am the only one.. I was the true us, and he was the false me. We were always "we," all our lives, but now I am only I, me, alone.” It is likely just his illness overtaking him since he is already in the late stage of syphilis plus lead poisoning.

I can’t help but ponder on that line, like where in their story (in film) would he say this for besides Macrinus pushing him to the wrong idea. Like what did Geta do to make Caracalla think this way during the entire film before executing Acacius.

God YES. All of this.

It's obvious with Lucius, but less glaring with the twins - yet they are, throughout the film, paralleled thematically with Romulus and Remus, orphans raised by a wolf. "Raised by wolves" on its own is a phrase used to describe people who grow up in harsh circumstances, without adequate love and support, struggling to survive and forced to fend off for themselves. The real Caracalla and Geta weren't twins, the ones in the movie are for symbolic reasons. This says as much about them as it says about Rome.

And both their characters are shown to be judged for their shortcomings; for their lack of an education, for their mismanagement of the state, for their cruelty and insularity. Yet when we meet them, and are shown them as people, both of them are so desperately seeking guidance from any real adult around them: they're very young, and they have no idea what they're doing at all. The tragedy of their situation is that, like so many people with childhood trauma, they turn away support which is caring and supportive because it makes them suspicious, and turn for the kind of authority figures whose perceived love for them is demanding and conditional. This isn't any more conscious for them as it is for most trauma survivors, but it is such a painful pattern. If they can't perceive someone's ulterior motives, they can't trust them, and they've not been raised to understand that people might be altruistic and strive for the betterment of the whole without a selfish angle. This is why Geta pushes Acacius: Acacius is much like their father, an older, powerful, respectable, dignified military general who has the nation's support and love. But Acacius must want something for himself. Geta hates that he refuses to show it. That he turns down personal honours and tries to slink away from his duties to attend to some shady business called retirement and home life and loving your wife. That doesn't compute with him so there must be more and if he just pushes him far enough, surely Acacius will show his true colours.

They do the same with Lucilla: the reality that she doesn't desire anything much for herself just doesn't sink in to them at any stage. They think they can leverage glory and luxury and power with her, but she doesn't want it. She'll never give to them what they're looking for because in exchange for their power and status, they're offering her more of the same, and it's about the last thing she could possibly care about.

So what is HER ulterior motive, then?

But Macrinus, who is always a push and pull, trading "care" for leverage, sinks in like a hot knife to butter. Instantly. Because it seems that he plays by their rules: he wants something, but what he wants is benign so they can give that to him, because he is taking it in such a way that is beneficial to them, he's only looking out for their mutual best. No questions asked. Neither of the twins pushes for anything.

And with what happens with Caracalla, I. Fucking. I'm.

The thing is, Caracalla would not really go for Geta's life, just as Geta would not go for his. Macrinus doesn't realise this and his plan almost fails for it, because Macrinus does not understand love like they have for each other: he thinks that pushing these same leverages with them will ultimately lead to its natural conclusion. Only, for whatever fucking reason, Geta gets through to Caracalla and Caracalla stops his assault on him and that will not do because if they resolve it peacefully - then Caracalla will expose Macrinus's plan to Geta. Before this point, Macrinus never dirties his own hands, and I don't believe he had any intention of doing it here either. Caracalla killing Geta is both obvious to the world and expected and sickeningly convenient for Macrinus, because Caracalla is sick and easy to control through that. Geta is already doing it left and right and Macrinus is so much better at it because he doesn't love Caracalla, so what the fuck does he care what he tells him or how he bends him to his will. Geta is a problem, Caracalla is an available tool to be wielded. But when Caracalla doesn't kill Geta, Macrinus has to - in a way that allows him to convince Caracalla that, actually, he did that. It was Caracalla. So that Caracalla won't complain and the plan can proceed regardless of the minor hiccup.

Caracalla's mental state is so bad in that scene. He's utterly frozen and dissociative and unresponsibe when Macrinus takes to him. He's literally just witnessing, apparently his own hand but he's not moving it, kill his brother before his eyes. Whatever Macrinus tells him after to explain this is fair game. And in the moment, yes, this is his father acting through him. It's what Severus always aimed to do, what they both feared their whole lives. Geta got in the way. Now he is punished, from beyond the grave, for it. He should have submitted to his fate a long time ago. He's always been a problem, an obstacle. And now Caracalla is alone but he's alone because he... wanted it? He did want it. Always wondered what it would be like if Geta wasn't in his way, if he wasn't perpetually overshadowed by him. Of course he did this to Geta. Of course it was his hands. Of course it was meant to be. Him, wielding a blade, and guided by his father's final justice.

And why is he crying for it? Why does it hurt? He's not crying. He's fine. He has consuls to name. Tomorrow, he'll look for Geta again, because Geta always comes back after their fights. He wouldn't leave Caracalla alone. But Macrinus tells him that Geta is unwell and that doesn't quite make sense but it has a horrible echo and Caracalla's willing to accept this explanation because questioning it would break him and he doesn't have it in him anymore to be broken. More than he is. Geta would be proud of him, so he goes on with this thing that he wanted, his dream of being a fully realised emperor, a single entity, a person in his own right.

I've never really figured out what makes Caracalla think that Geta would lie to him, because Geta seems honest to a fault, his only lying is by omission and he only does that to keep peace. It might be something their father would shout at him - because Geta would, obviously, lie for Caracalla. Lie to take the blame, lie that he doesn't know where Caracalla is, lie about just about anything to direct his father's anger away from his twin. Might just be echoes. Might be something Caracalla made up because he feels slighted and things don't make sense to him. Geta will tell him things that are contrary to his reality because his reality, long ago, stopped making sense.

[littlelovelunette]

Hey! Don't answer if you don't want to, it's okay 😁

Since you like Sevika so much, I wanted to know your opinion on something. A lot of people (especially white fems I'm not gonna lie, that's what I've seen) tend to headcanon Sevika as abusive and cheater just because she's masculine and brown. Whereas we've seen that Sevika is super loyal and can have a gentle demeanour (especially with Isha and Jinx in season 2). Isn't that annoying? I have the impression that butches/mascs of colour are seen as problematic and abusive. Particularly the way people treat yt mascs and studs/mascs of colour differently. I wanted to know your opinion as a feminine person of colour who loves butches like Sevika. Sorry if that sounds misplaced. But I don't know many sapphic people of colour to ask.

For me, as a masc of colour, it bothers me to see that sapphic yt fem people perceive me as more aggressive than white mascs without even knowing me.

I get the impression that it's an angry subject, given that the sapphic community is more dominated by white people. And when I talk about it, and use Sevika as an example, people tell me I'm looking for the smallest detail.

Anyway. Thank you if you reply! 😄

Sevika Analysis (1)

I wouldn't say Sevika is as innocent as they come. Do acknowledge she gambles, drinks and has done some morally grey things from time to time. I don't perceive her as someone abusive or a cheater, but I can tell the woman likely has a lot of pent up anger issues.

Sevika is likely rough, ambiverted, uses her anger as a shell of who she is because in reality she had just been misunderstood most her life and perceived as someone dangerous by her father. They probably had miscommunications every now and then which is not uncommon in brown households. Now, Sevika having cheating or abusive tendencies? I like to think Sevika is loyal, yes. But see it from this angle, if she did grow up in an emotionally abusive household, don't you think it shapes are to be subconsciously manipulative in order to hold down those who try to leave her? I'm not saying she is, because God forbid if we saw canon Sevika x her wife.

I can relate to when Sevika said "my old man didn't always see eye to eye with me" and the urge to prove yourself after things like that happens, increases tenfold. I'm pretty sure Sevika's father was stereotypical like most other brown parent. I'm not just saying it, okay? I know several brown women in my country and even in India who're not feminine and coming out to their ego-high fathers definitely wasn't on their Tuesday chore list.

Okay, to answer your question as a feminine person of color, I'd still say Sevika has anger management issues. She's very similar to a cousin of mine who breaks things when she's angry. It's not something that could be potentially abusive but it is something that could give her S/O trauma if they grew up in an environment of that sort.

And it's completely normal to ask for answers in this case, and you're not wrong. Putting me aside because I am indeed capable and will throw hands when someone pisses me off way too much, I don't think Sevika would do the same. Take for example— when Smeech belittled her and made her feel like dog shit, she controlled that anger and walked away. That only showed when she was away from Smeech, in front of Jinx, someone she'd known for years now so she's bound to feel more comfortable around Jinx whether she admits it or not. Sevika does have anger issues and she knows it so she controls most of it.

Let me know if you have any questions!

[theshiftingwitch]

hi, previous anon here, i think i don’t quite understand how i’m the one giving my manifestations to myself? like i understand the concept of why i’m the one in control in my reality but like it doesn’t quite sink in that i’m the one creating everything? like i’m one with my reality? i don’t get it because even if separation is an illusion is what i, understand? would you mind explaining how you relate to the outer world then? i understand we can select anything-“physically present” or from imagination but they’re different experiences. i don’t want to “live in imagination” i think if it as a tool to select the realities i want to experience in the physical, i’m scared to be delusional idk,

All right, let's break it down in the most simple of terms:

When we say imagination is the true reality, we do not mean you must live in your imagination for the rest of your life. We do not mean that you have to be delusional (even if that is the term most on social media use right now) we do not mean that you have to disregard the physical reality around you and live inside your head 24/7. What we mean by imagination is the true reality is that imagination is the source. It is the beginning. It is the key to having everything you desire.

Another thing you must understand is that all of creation is finished. Now I do not know if you believe in God or the universe or the source, but from my point of view as a spiritual person who practices both manifestation and shifting, I believe that I'm the universe having a human experience, and that makes me the source of everything. Yes my human experience has its limitation and this human body has its blocks and its limits. But at my core, I am source.

So what does that mean? If creation is finished, that means that everything you could possibly want, everything you could possibly think of, and everything you could possibly need already exists. The trick is to pull it from the 4D where it exists to the 3D where you exist, or let's say where you perceive your existence. Because you do not exist in the 3d, you are a multi-dimensional being existing in a multi-dimensional Omniverse. And so as you manifest, you begin with imagining your desire in your 4d, and then you get that desire in the 3D by persisting in the knowledge that you already have it because you saw it in your imagination.

Your problem is creating a divide where a divide should not exist. Just because you do not physically see it does not mean it's not real. Just because something is in your imagination does not mean it is your own delusion or it's just a figment of your imagination that does not translate into the current reality. That is a misconception that has been hardening into our physical reality for eons now, people mocking imagination, calling it a delusion, telling you that what's in your head is not real... that is not the case when it comes to manifesting. If you see it in your head, if you see it in your mind, then it exists. Being in imagination and being physically present are not too distinct, separate experiences. They are related to each other, one starts the other and one finishes the other.

You are the one creating everything, as in you are the one curating and creating this human experience. You are not creating it as we speak, you already created it as you were part of the Great Consciousness that is the universe. You created everything as the universe and now you are having this human experience in a distinct human body with distinct human emotions and a distinct human mind, and you are trying to connect back to the great source which is still you but you do not understand that because in your mind you are creating a divide between you and the original You when it's the same thing.

If you do not understand anything of what I just said, understand this part: in order to manifest your desires you need three things. To decide (what do you want?) to understand (you already have what you want) and to persist (you have it even if you do not yet see it.) As long as you keep persisting, as long as you don't give up, and as long as you don't let the "physical reality" dictate what goes on in you mind and heart, you will have your desires.

The law of assumption is always working. It doesn't stop. You are always assuming something. The question is, are you assuming you already have your desires? Or are you assuming you are still waiting for it and someone is holding it hostage and refusing to give it to you?

Check your assumptions, they are the reason your 3d is not bending to your will.

[actual-changeling]

Do you think Aziraphale has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused by Heaven as well?

I will answer this question like one asked in good faith even though my gut is telling me there's a 50/50 chance it is very much not one.

So!

There are two parts to his answer, or rather one question is actually two.

Firstly, we have to talk about whether heaven is abusive, what that abuse looks like, and how it differs from hell.

Secondly, how did the results of question one affect Aziraphale, if it is different from what the other angels in heaven face, and what additional trauma might he have experienced due to being on earth.

I could write a 10k meta post about this and go into the finest detail, but I will just try and stick to the main points for now. It's still going to be way too long because I am so fucking tired of people accusing me of 'hating' Aziraphale or harassing me on my posts or in my inbox.

Is heaven abusive? Yes, and it applies to both heaven as an institution and the Archangels running it.

Getting to know Muriel and what their life looks like was extremely helpful in properly defining this, because they showed us that although the Archangels tend to travel and work as a group, most of the angels are incredibly isolated.

The result is complete emotional neglect, which not only impairs your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with other people, it also stops your from learning emotional regulation and how to behave and feel as a part of (angelic) society. We see the consequences of that in Muriel, who comes across as overly naive, socially awkward, and out of touch with not just people but themselves.

When your entire life has been shrunk down to what happens inside your own head, suddenly being confronted with having to live outside of your mind is jarring, overwhelming, and foreign.

How do you talk to people when no one ever taught you how to do that? How do you behave around someone after a lifetime of being alone? How do your regulate your responses to their behaviour?

Who are you when there is someone else to perceive you?

Figuring that out is complicated and it takes time, and while most of the angels are only distantly aware of how humans live and what kind of interactions some of the other angels might have, the effects of that neglect stay the same whether they are aware of it or not.

Muriel shows us that angels are not born/made as a blank slate, and neither are humans for that matter. Tabula rasa as a philosophical belief is one thing, but reality is very, very different.

Angels also appear to have the same inherent need for connection, for a caretaker that loves them unconditionally, for someone to help them figure out how to be, and that provides a safe space to make mistakes. Without some or all of that, you grow up into a disregulated, socially awkward if not inept person who does not know how to have relationships or how to properly exist.

It is one of the reasons why autistic people are a) almost always traumatized to some degree and b) do not know how to socialize. No one ever works with our brains, and the resulting neglect is very similar to not receiving any help at all.

If you are now curious what happens if you're both autistic and were completely socially neglected, the result is uh. me. Hi! Not nice, but at least I am very sure I win the award for being my therapist's most fucked up client, so that's something.

Yet the angels are not solely emotionally neglected, the system/household they live in demands a low self-esteem, a lack of individual identity, and complete adherence to a defined ideology and behavioural pattern. In short, you are told how to be a useless, tiny part in a bigger machine, that your only purpose is to succeed at your tasks, and any opportunity for individual development is removed or destroyed.

If you are now once again curious what that might be like, uh, yeah, hi once more. Obviously my childhood was not exactly like an angels life, but the core characteristics were the same, just realized differently. Again, not pretty, really, really fucks you over.

Take that and the neglect, combine it into one person, and then drop them in the Garden of Eden—hello Aziraphale! Crowley got dropped into hell first, experienced more abuse, and then dug his way up into Eden before joining him.

Aziraphale experienced everything Muriel (and Crowley, and every other celestial being) also experienced, with one main difference: He is the one who got away.

We have to remember that out of every single celestial being, Aziraphale got the best deal. He did not fall, he got out of heaven (more or less) permanently, and was then largely left alone.

Does that erase anything I laid out above? No, of course not!

It simply provided him with the opportunity to heal, to take his cPTSD and who knows what other disorders he developed as a result, and start recovering.

Canonically, heaven did not bother him, like, ever, except for the odd note about 'frivolous miracles' or ten minutes of catching up every millennia. They only started monitoring him once they started to suspect he was involved with Crowley and trying to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Aziraphale worked on some things, he got better in many regards, especially with Crowley there to support him, but after six thousand years, many aspects have stayed the same or regressed back to the start over and over.

I will tell you a hard pill to swallow now: If you refuse to acknowledge your issues to instead live in a world of nicer denial and compartmentalization even when you have been offered the chance to change it, that is partly on YOU.

Is it fair? Fuck no! It's not fair at all, and I have had so many breakdowns over that fact. I did not break it, this is not my FAULT so why should I have to fix it all on my own? Why do I have to do the work, not them? How come they get away with it while I am going to have to carry this for the rest of my life?

I still have to do it though. I have to do the work, no matter how uncomfortable and exhausting, because I want to get better.

-

This conversation has so many facets and is a lot more complex, but this is already long enough, so if you have any questions or want to know something specific (while asking politely and in good faith) just send me an ask; I will do my best to answer it.

-

We are now only missing the last part of question 2, and that one is also so fucking complicated reducing it to the main points almost feels wrong, but I will do it anyway. Again, just ask if you have questions.

Abusive households are horrible, and you want to get out and away, but they are also the only thing you know. The world is scary, too big, too open, where did all the rules go that were previously defining your life?

Surviving in an abusive environment means you establish routine after routine after routine for every possible horrible scenario, you write a mental rule book to try and reduce the abuse (don't make them angry, don't cry when they're already shouting, don't do this, don't do that, do x but not y), and THAT is your socialization. THAT is everything you know, everything you are, everything you know relationships to be like.

Once you are away from that, you are completely and utterly lost. Even breathing feels like making a mistake, you feel watched, judged, rated, berated, you have them stuck in your fucking head. So you keep sticking to what you know, your behavioural patterns that have kept you safe your entire life.

The problem is that they kept you safe, past tense. In a healthy environment, all of those coping mechanisms are now maladaptive and harm you instead of keeping you safe.

However, breaking out of them and starting from scratch is terrifying. So, so, so terrifying. I live in constant fear, I feel judged and unsafe in my own flat with the curtains shut and the lights on. I feel like I am about to get subjected to another one of his fits for daring to use the stove.

No matter what you do, your body and brain are SCREAMING at you that diverging from what you know will kill you—and then you have to do it anyway.

Do it alone and afraid and awkwardly but DO IT. Otherwise you will always find a way to recreate the environment you grew up in, whether that is people getting into unhealthy relationships and replicating the patterns they know (which Aziraphale does with Crowley, e.g. the push-pull of his affection) or eventually even returning to it because they ruined you, but a part of you is so, so attached to them you just have to try and change them.

Some people can move on from it without going back, but sometimes you need to try and experience that failure for yourself before being able to move on, and that's where Aziraphale is at.

He needs to try and fail to be capable of finally committing to recovering.

So, to summarize this entire shitshow: Yes, Aziraphale experienced emotional neglect and abuse, and while it is different to what Crowley went through and objectively less intense and physical, it is still just as valid and horrid.

Just because a car accident is objectively worse than falling off a bike doesn't mean the biker's pain is unimportant. Both can kill you, both can hurt you, and both deserve to get their injuries treated.

Questions?

[zeroducks-2]

I don’t understand how Clark is even Bruce’s friend after reading how Bruce treats his sidekicks

There's more than one reason.

All heroes - beside Barry Allen - haven't been (and often still aren't) always sunshine and rainbows when it comes to their sidekicks. I won't go in depths with all of them but Bruce isn't the only abusive one. Consider that the Leaguers were all pretty young when their sidekicks came around and made lots of mistakes, whether because of inexperience or because they were misguided, thinking that being harsh and unforgiving would have built character for their little counterparts (again, Barry is a stark exception to this). And importantly, how to mentor a sidekick was no one's business except the mentor's. You don't see Barry tapping on Arthur's shoulder and tell him "stop hitting Garth", despite how affectionate and careful with children Barry has always been. Same thing goes with Clark and Bruce.

Of course seeing Bruce treat his sidekicks that way over more than two decades should be enough for anyone to reconsider the friendship, but comics are not real life. Being "difficult" is part of Bruce's whole deal: he pushes away the people he loves, he isolates, keeps to himself and stews in his own pot of demons and loneliness. And Clark loves him, he really really does, and wouldn't leave him alone despite the abusive behaviors Bruce displays towards, well, pretty much everyone (Clark included. I know Superbat shippers tend to live up on the candy mountain where everything is perfect between Bruce and Clark, but Bruce is very much abusive, manipulative and an asshole to Clark too and invariably, Clark forgives him). So the thing is, Clark loves both Bruce and Dick. He recognizes Bruce's flaws and the fact that if he pulled away, it would just hurt Bruce and Dick, and solve nothing.

More in general, Bruce's behavior in this sense is normalized. Read any comic of anyone interacting with Bruce for more than 1 minute, and there will be some rationalization or justification for the shit he pulls at some point in the story (not necessarily towards his sidekicks but in general). His personality is full of jagged edges and if you try to touch you'll likely cut yourself, and all the people close to him know and accept this - luckily for Bruce, because otherwise he'd be entirely alone. This dynamic consistently hurt his friends and family though, and it's especially damaging to the people who Bruce has power over, namely his sidekicks. But everyone normalizes this and considers it part of the "Batman deal", which is why no one does anything meaningful to make him stop, or cuts ties with him over it.

There's another reason, and this one is more meta. When discussing Bruce we can't forget that the character is 80+ and has been written by hundreds of people. And depending from writer to writer, his behavior towards his sidekicks is perceived as more or less abusive: some people make him do the most terrifying things and present them as "tough love", or "necessary for Robin's growth", or even a symptom of how Bruce is the perfect mentor and is preparing his sidekicks to the harsh reality of their vigilante duties. The emotional incompetence (and therefore neglect) is shown as something masculine and therefore desirable, necessary to survive in a world where the Mission is more important than everything else, and everyone is potentially out to get them. So even if one writer will have Clark actively disliking Bruce's behavior towards any Robin, it's likely that the next writer will just drop the plotline and pretend it never happened because they see nothing wrong with it.

And finally. I know that I've said "comics are not real life" at one point, but if I am to be entirely honest with you anon, this is exactly how it works in real life too. People are friends with people who abuse the shit out of their kids, employees, waiters at the coffee shop. Awful parents have friends, managers who act like slave owners have friends, teachers who vent their frustration on kids have friends - it happens all the time and if abusers weren't coddled, justified and even catered to, the number of traumatized people in the world would be drastically inferior. Clark remaining friends with Bruce despite everything is honestly way more realistic than lots of people claim it is.

[foreversnews]

1:am July 4th, sitting here flipping this Tamia I'm so into you song in to a slow sample

thinking of new ways to trust myself

this song has always reminded me of a special kinda of feeling around love. or infatuation at least right now this specific scope of "love" feels more to me like alice millers cover of spell on you by Nina Simone

or frank ocean seigfeind

or looks good with trouble by Solange

slow sample just going on loop as I write this

" I can't realllyyy exxxxplaainitttt"

slowed down at about 45.5 bpm

I used to hear this and think of the most life affirming guilty embarrasingly mushy love

where my young imagination could only think of me walking in the sunlight with a pretty girl, not even touching her, just walking

funny how I always thought romance could save me from something

even as a kid I would almost stay up all night before the first day of school, finally I get to see girls !!

I could get a girlfriend !!

life was simple like that then, elementary school me lol

wanted to feel like something to somebody so baddd

"iiii rreeaallly liiikke what youuu dooonne too meee"

as slowed sample plays*

this song it still hasn't lost its shiny touch

makes me think of someone that I haven't spoke to in while an

meiby in a way I thought she could save me from myself

if I pretend enough

if i talk enough

if i give enough

if I tell you any and everything

nothing stopped the inevitable end

as the loop still runs *

"doooonnee toooo meee"

I think of the countless beds I found myself in the search of the comfort of the that little kid that just wanted to feel like that song feels

cords and rhythms bouncing off my shoulder blades

quick as a lie Is told

as love is perceived

I've ran out of rhythms to not see in this

"whhhaaat youuuu Donnee too meee "

as the sample plays on loop *

playing out the cyclical natures of my most intimate desires coverd by cathexis of pretty faces and gentle misreadings

but to young people who like each other isn't there any more to think a out??? haha my young mind thought it was that easy

making Valentine day cards. hiding them in desk and sing to girls during recess lol

I found (Mei)self dreaming this person again.

how can I begin to think about this in a way the keeps me intact ?

because after all this is who I built for better or worst

become charming people will forget how you've warn that same unwashed uniform shirt to school 5 days In a row

maybe she might look past the body odor you quite don't know how to get in order yet lol

ive always found myself obsessing over what my first time would be like

would it be like one pf those songs of the weekends trilogy ? high school me would think about lol

after all it seems like the perfect sounds track to this double reality I found myself in from a young aspiring towards everything and hopping to find home

'IIIII ammmsoooo iii inn too you"

sample still runs *

being a young boy not really aware of my innocence

didn't feel like I had anything worth seeing

like I was guilty from the first perception of others

the only thing that I could see for myself was desire of romance

maybe I could think about this all day and nothing else

I remember one day my dad would update me on his latest sexual prized catch and how sexy she was, how ,such she pleased him

"iccaannnntt reallly exxplaainne It"

Sample does on *

.........................................................

now my conquest for the ultimate I immature romance, devided in two sexual prowas and power.

after all if my dad is telling me all these details it must be somthing worth doing right?

was he only telling me this to escape his own feelings of loneliness

maybe if he reflects some sort of cool posture ill look at him in a way that helps him look at himself

funny how that goes

bc here I am now hoping to see my value in bodies, faces,ect

but how can I ask them to see omthing I havnt deeply interrogated ?

I know now that love feels more like Alice Coltranes going home

unknowable, only lived and acted out in my own personal being

romance is just a extent of ritual maybe

the coldness of my young self non knowing how to cope with poverty, with abuse and misuse of my young body, mind.

its not far off that, that became the only motivating factor win my life but I deeply want to know myself in everyday possible

not from a automated idea in hopes of finding someone

im not personality package, a body to be used, an idea to be exploited

but then again.

'iiiii reeallly liikkke whhaat youuuuu donnneee to mee iii cannnnt rreealllly exxpllaainne iiit iiiimm sooo iiinn too youuu"

last sample flip*

maybe this coldness is what ive never recognized.

(im rambling and speaking in fragments but I wanted to be honest with how many turns my brain was making "

[elsabethpoetry]

Hagiography of the Angel of History

The world as it is now terrifies me.

The horror, and pain, and degradation

feel never ending.

Another day,

another hundred notifications.

I think about turning them off,

but the silence scares me

just as much,

if not more,

than the now banal

ping-ping-pinging.

I go to bed wondering

what it’ll be tomorrow,

if there will ever be

a tomorrow,

and contemplate and think

what I can do,

and in answer,

is once again

that hostile silence.

In the twilight,

between sleep and wake

and the rhythmic breathing

of my cat’s little body,

I see that emptiness,

that space,

become a door.

It opens slowly,

and behind it lay

the catalog of ages.

Times that were,

that are,

that could have been,

that are yet to be

all circling and shining

and crisscrossing and crashing

all around the room.

At the center stands,

or rather hovers,

the Angel of History

Angelus Novus

just as Paul depicted

and Walter described,

a being of constant movement, change,

progress,

and yet now 

,stuck.

The vortex of so many

moving possibilities,

merging and disintegrating,

and manifesting

all around it

has trapped the angel’s

steady march forward

in this violent tornado,

keeping it in place,

but wings constantly flapping

frantically searching:

like a hiker in the woods–

like a passenger on the Titanic–

like a crewman on the Hindenburg–

for the entrance, for the surface,

for the way forward.

It looks so exhausted

panting and heaving

heavenly curls plastered

by divine perspiration

it cries tears of golden blood

and screams a soundless scream

into the rushing winds

of ambivalence.

The universe doesn’t know

what to do with itself

and this poor angel is its victim.

I fall to my knees in front of it

and do something I have not

done

in a very long time.

I pray.

“Dear scholarly angel,

how do I end your suffering,

as I cannot do anything for my own.

I am a weak vessel, and yet

I would do anything you ask

to end your plight.”

I bow my head and hands

to the marble below.

Instead of the clinical cold,

I feel the warm thrum of magma,

churning and churning beneath.

“Please, I feel like the world

is ending, like everything is

rotting under my feet

and is going to drop out

and swallow me whole.

What can I do,

what can I do,

oh god,

what the fuck can I do?”

And for a moment,

so, so brief,

the vortex silences,

almost curiously,

waiting for the angel to answer.

It looks down at me

with eyes of embers,

where wheels of fire

once burnt.

I meet those embers,

and oh,

it looks sad.

no,

it looks fucking terrified,

but it takes a breath,

and

in a voice so tremulous and hoarse,

thus spake the angel,

“To save yourself is to save me;

quit looking for distractions

from the world

you already reside in,

the body you already inhabit;

I have seen the other realities

you search for,

scream for;

each one of them,

horrors, unimaginable horrors;

same as the ones you know,

the grass is never greener,

and yet, and yet, and yet

there is beauty in each one

for the same reason there still is

in the place you hail from,

people;

what keeps the madness

from the lashing winds

from settling in

are people

through infinities and infinities,

Interconnected and Interlinked,

like cells,

like paperdoll chains,

so tiny and fragile,

and yet together,

oh the beauty,

the unending mural,

the cacophonous choir,

singing the song of ages,

off-tune and beautiful,

but the links have begun to tear;

something’s trying to bring the

song to heel, to uniformity,

to order;

trying to blow me backwards into

the past,

a place where I don’t belong

where I’ll surely die;

what can you do?

On your own, not much,

but look to the bonds around you,

the strength you give them

will echo

through more lives than you

can ever perceive,

each small gust,

pushing, fighting

against what holds me in stasis;

now is not the time for solitude,

for there is much work to do,

Interconnected and Interlinked,

protect the most vulnerable amongst you,

Interconnected and Interlinked,

fight like hell

against the forces which seek to

divide, categorize, and exclude,

Interconnected and Interlinked;

I can hear the struggles of 

your resistance from here,

and just know,

oh please god remember,

I’m fighting alongside you

beating my great wings,

and crying the song

of a trillion souls

who have fought before you;

they want you to think its the end,

but don’t,

please I beg you don’t

those before you thought so too,

but it didn’t

‘what resembles the grave but isn’t,’

so stay

Interconnected and Interlinked

for as long as you can be

Interconnected and Interlinked

within universes, within songs,

within loves, within survivals

INTERCONNECTED AND INTERLINKED,”