#I AM HAPPY TO USE THEM ON THIS GIANT SPIDER THING

[hiya-im-mary]

“I like Music Man!”

“Dj Music Man or Mini Music Man?”

“MUSIC MAN”

A sweetie! A charmer! He would probably bake cookies for people if he were a human!!

[sachiko6243]

Make me your wife

Summary: Y/N and her sister got attacked by giant spiders. Luckily Thranduil and his men were near enough to come to their rescue. What Y/N didnt think would ever happen, would be the elven king falling for her sassy and sarcastic character...

Word count: 6606

Warnings: spider attack in the beginning, sass, smut in the end, Minors DNI, this contains adult content!

This was written on request for: @mitsurisu I hope you like it. Sorry for the long wait, but I had much to do at my work. 😅

I was riding through the forest of the Woodland realm with my sister Leonor. We had set of from Rivendell on the request of Legolas. We had met him after he had helped the dwarves to take back their mountain. He was a very nice fellow, flirtatious and easy going, to the point where my sister had poked me and made fun of me for maybe pursuing him as a potential partner. She had been married to her husband for the last 300 years and was still utterly convinced that I would be happy in a marriage as well.

Nothing I said was driving her from that path and I had given up convincing her otherwise, deciding that letting her talk and ignore it would be the best option. She was once again on a rampage on married life, while I rode besides her, letting my thoughts and gaze wander. A crack deeper in the woods made me listen up. I knew that in those woods there were living many giant spiders, so I silenced my sister. She wasn’t a fighter like I was and if we were in trouble I needed her to listen to me.

“Shut it, Leonor. I think I heard something!” I whispered, but she waved it off. “Oh, come on Y/N. You always see and hear danger everywhere.”

“Its my job. I am a soldier after all. Be quiet, there are many spiders in these woods. I need to figure out if we are in danger.” I growled, my hands already gripping my two swords.

“Relax. There is nothing out there. You know how thoroughly Legolas and the guards clear those woods. He has told us on many occasions.” She sighed, not taking the threat seriously.

Another crack made me draw my swords, telling my horse to speed up. Leonor was quick to follow me and we were now thundering through the forest. I really hoped that it was just the forest doing foresty things and not some giant spiders, but my hope was being denied.

With a loud thud, a dark green giant spider dropped right in front of us. Leonor was just quick enough to steer her horse around it, while I was cut of by the spiders body. My horse shrieked, nearly throwing me off, but I was just able to keep me on its back. “RUN!” I yelled at my sister, making myself ready to face the big monster.

“Y/N!” She screamed, drawing the attention of the beast to her. It got up high enough for me to ride under his stomach, grabbing the reigns of my sisters horse who seemed frozen in place.

Dragging her behind me, I rushed my horse through the woods, hoping that we would be faster than that spider. Leonor took a while to come out of her frozen state, but when she was able to steer her horse again, I gave her back the reigns, now drawing my bow, turning around on my horse to shoot at the giant spider. But it didn’t seem like my arrows really seemed to bother the creature that was chasing us. And to my dismay, I hear the clicking sounds of several more coming through the woods.

They started to catch up to us, our horses slowly but surely loosing speed. And then it happened. We got circled by two smaller spiders dropping in front of us. Our horses freaked again, this time throwing us off their backs and making a run, only to be killed by spiders stomping onto them. Immediately they started to drag them away, probably into their net. I reached for another arrow, realizing, that I had shot every single one of them, without taking down one single spider.

“Fuck.” I let out, throwing my bow to the ground and dragging my swords.

“What do you mean fuck?” Leonor asked and I just gritted out: “Fuck as in we are fucked. I am out of arrows.”

“You shot all of them?” She asked and I wanted to smack her: “No, I threw them away. Of course I did!”

“No need to be so snappy.” She lashed back and I just looked at her with a deadly glare. “Oh yes, we are just about to die and I should play happy fun time with you? Forgive me for feeling a little stressed.”

“Its not my fault, that it happened.” Leonore seemed hurt and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “I never said it was. I am sorry for snapping at you. Its just… Ah forget it. Try to stay close to me, without getting in my way. If we are getting separated, I cant protect you and if you are in my way, I will probably hurt you. Just…” I tried to make it understandable for her. “…think of it as a dance.”

“A dance?” She asked and I could hear she was raising her brows. “Why would I think of this as a dance?” Shrugging my shoulders I swung my sword at the first spider stepping close: “I don’t know. You are the minstrel of us. I was just trying to make it logical for you.”

I didn’t hear what she answered, because my sword collided with the heavy foot of a spider, drawing an ugly screeching sound from it, as I cut through the hard material. Letting my second sword swing higher, I managed to stab it into the thicker part of the leg. Ripping out my first sword, I swung my body around and through the air, landing on top of the spider. I forced both my swords into its head, managing to down it. Jumping off, I faced the next one, but my fight seemed to have no end, as I saw that the ranks were quickly closed again.

A horn being blown and horses thundering through the woods made me catch a new wave of hope and I started to fight back harder, always making sure to cover my sister from any attacks. I heard yelling and arrows whirring through the air and I realized, that the spiders slowly but surely were thinned out. Facing another one, I was just quick enough to jump aside, as it launched for me. Rolling around, I found myself underneath its big body. Not hesitating a second, I stabbed my blades into its stomach drawing it along, as I ran to get out of there.

A mixture of spider blood, gushy intestines and a sort of dark slime covered me, as I stumbled out beneath the tumbling and falling creature. Catching my breath, I stood there for several seconds, trying to regain some strength and to get rid of the slippery mixture that covered me. When I was able to look back up, the rest of the spiders had either been slain or forced away, leaving us and the elves that came to our rescue behind. “Y/N! Leonor!” I heard Legolas yell, turning to look at him.

A sarcastic smile on my lips, I greeted him: “You seem to lack in your mission to clear the woods, my prince.” He gritted his teeth, hugging Leonor, but refraining to do the same to me: “You are as friendly as always, Y/N.” I shrugged, shoving my swords back into their sheaths. “What can I say. I was raised to be a sunshine.” But when I saw his father approaching us, I stopped talking, bowing to greet the king. “My king. I apologize for causing trouble in your lands.”

“No need to apologize. You were right. It seems as if my son isn’t particularly thorough with his task. I am the one in need to apologize as this has clearly endangered you and your…”

“Sister, my king.” I helped him out, still looking down on the ground.

“…your sister. Am I correct with the assumption you came to visit my kingdom?” He asked.

“Yes, my king. We came to visit your son, prince Legolas. He has invited us.” I answered stiffly, looking at Legolas for help. The blond elf just smiled at me and I dared to look at his father the first time. And what I saw knocked the breath out of my lungs. He was gorgeous to say the least.

Tall, strong, handsome. The similarities to Legolas unmistakable. And his blue eyes. Staring at me as if he was reading directly into my soul. I was totally caught of guard by his appearance, not realizing he was talking to me again: “I am sorry. What did you say, my king?” I barely remembered to address him by his title, but he didn’t seem to mind. Smiling at me, he repeated his words: “I was welcoming you to my kingdom. As it seems, something must have caught your attention, my Lady.”

“Y/N. Just Y/N, my king. I am no lady. Just a common soldier of Rivendell.” I corrected him, trying my best to hide my breathless voice. Thranduil looked behind me, the smile on his lips widening. “A very good one, as it seems. You took out two spiders on your own.”

“And I shot all my arrows without them having any effect.” I reduced his praise, not feeling comfortable with the king saying such high words about me. He clicked his tongue. “Ah, arrows barely have any effect on the spiders. Their shells are far to thick for them to penetrate deep enough.”

“I didn’t know, my king. The next time I will come prepared.” I said, bowing deeply again.

“The next time?” He asked with a smirk to his lips and I furrowed my brows: “Yes? Did I do something wrong, my king? If I have insulted you in any form, I apologize.” But Thranduil just grinned at me with a knowing look on his lips, before he turned around: “The next time you visit us, let me know beforehand, so that I can ensure your save journey. A lady like you must not face such beasts under my watch.”

“I can fend for myself!” I yelled after him, this time leaving out his title, as his assumption angered me. He looked over his shoulder, taking in my angry form for a moment, before he answered: “I know. But I would feel better if you were protected by my guards.” Then he turned around, looking at a light brown haired man: “Feren, ensure that Leonor and Lady Y/N have a horse to ride on and have a bath prepared for them.” The man bowed his head slightly. “Yes, my Lord.”

***

And that’s how I had met Thranduil. That was nearly 100 years ago. 87 to be exact. He had started to court me soon after that incident, sending letter over letter to Rivendell, to the point where even Lord Elrond heard of what was happening. In the beginning I didn’t think much of it, reading his letters as nothing more as friendly correspondence. Until one day he literally showed up in Rivendell, demanding to speak with Lord Elrond himself.

Later on, I was told, that Thranduil had demanded to know if I was forced to work too much, since I didn’t answer every single one of his letters. From then on, our letters turned into a frequent thing, until one day I asked Lord Rivendell to free me from my duties and to allow me to live in Mirkwood. Lord Elrond let me go with a warm and knowing smile, something I didn’t exactly know how to read back then.

But soon, Thranduil and my friendship turned into him making advances until I finally gave in to courting him. Thranduil had pulled every string he had, to get me to fall for him. He made sure that I was taken care off, that I had everything I ever wished for to the point where I literally had to fight him on lessening his extensive gifts, but there was nothing I could do to talk sense into that man.

And now here I was, sitting at the big banquet next to him. We had gotten married. Well technically we weren’t truly married yet, since for elves the marriage was only completed when the marriage was conceived. And to be honest, I couldn’t wait much longer. My friends and family had come to Mirkwood and wished me the very best. Even Lord Elrond had managed to fit in time to spare my marriage a visit, congratulating me.

I looked at my now husband, only to find him staring at me already. “You are so beautiful, my little starlight.” He whispered, reaching his hand for mine. I squeezed his hand, leaning in to his shoulder. “How long do we have to keep up this thing, until we can retreat?” I asked, the alcohol in my blood probably pushing me to speak this openly. Thranduil chuckled at my words: “So desperate already?” I smacked him on the chest. “Don’t tell me you aren’t.”

“At least I don’t show it so openly.” He teased me, kissing my hand softly. “Dance with me, meleth.”

Letting him pull me to my feet, he guided us to the dancefloor, pulling me close to his body and I could feel that he was longing for me the same way I did for him. His head sank down to my level as he whispered: “This one last dance should appease our guests. I think they already know what is about to happen, but it is much easier to vanish between dancing couples than from the high table.” I smirked at his words, leaning my head onto his chest. “Is that so, my king?”  I felt him shrug: “At least I suspect it would make things easier for Feren. He always seems to be so stressed.”

“That’s because you stress him, herven.” I answered and the way he stiffened at me calling him husband for the first time, made me smile. “Herven.” He repeated. “Say it again. It sounds so beautiful from your lips.”

“What? Herven?” I asked, putting a soft moan to my words. Thranduils breathing became rigid, as he clearly had trouble keeping the rhythm of the dance. He took a deep breath, before he simply ended the dance pulling me through the other couples. “You know what? Fuck it. I am done waiting.” Once we were far enough away from the others to hear or see us, he threw me over his shoulder, causing me to shriek out loud. “Thranduil!”

“Oh yes. That’s even better.” He grinned, carrying me through the halls and back to his chambers. “I am going to make sure that the only things that are leaving your mouth will be my name, my title and those sweet little moans or yours.”

***

Thranduil stopped in front of his door, looking at me with what I believed to be fear in his eyes. “Are you ready?” He asked me and I nodded: “Yes.” Taking his hand, I followed him inside. As soon as the door fell shut behind us, he pressed me against a wall, a sly smirk on his lips. “You have no idea, how much I waited to do this.” I didn’t react to his tease, just pulling him in by his collar, desperate to kiss him. His hands wandered to my waist, gripping the fabric of my dress.

I held onto him, still letting his hands wander over my body. “Are you sure, you want to do this?” He asked, his breath fanning down my neck, before he bit down on my sweet spot. Moaning at the sensation that rushed through my body, I tried my best to keep the conversation going: “Yes, I am. I haven’t been so sure about anything in my life, ever.”

“Good. Because I doubt, I would be able to endure the wait any longer.” His husked voice sent shivers down my spine and I had to hold on to his shoulders, to not faint. “You know what this perfume does to me, darling? The whole evening, I could not focus on anything else than you sweet smell. Do you even know, how hard I was all evening?” He picked me up, pressing me against the wall, looking at me with an angry hunger in his eyes. “I should not be commanded by a woman like that, especially not one that does it so easily like you do. It is endangering my reputation.”

“I think your reputation as the King is hardly attacked with you desiring your wife.” Trying my best to fight back against his administrations, I rolled back my head when his free hand opened the lacing of my dress, desperate to feel more of him. “What reputation, darling? Go on. Make your point.”

“The… fuck…” I cursed, earning a chuckle: “That’s very unladylike, darling. I should knock that word out of your brain.”

“You wouldn’t dare to do that. You love my dirty mouth.” I sassed back. He hummed at my words, just holding me tight to his body. “I do. And I want to make sure you are taken care off.” His words made me open my eyes again, leaning back to look at him.

He let me down slowly, still trying to hide his face from me, but I held his head, looking at him, when he let go of me: “No, please tell me. What are you afraid of?” I asked, stepping closer to him, but he just dodged backwards. Tilting my head, I followed him into the living area, effectively backing him into the sofa. When he sat down on it, I straddled his lap. “Are you afraid to be close to me?”

“No…” He breathed heavily. “Yes… I don’t know. I… I want to be close to you, but I don’t want you to feel forced. You know how it is… Wifely duties and all and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but at the same time I want to feel you, hold you, smell you, taste you. Everything. I am in no place to expect anything from you, so I refrain from giving in to those thoughts too much, because I don’t want to make it too obvious to you, that my needs are currently overruling my consciousness. And now that I am close and… and alone with you, I realize that its much harder than I have thought it would be... I want this to be special to you. I want to be the loving husband you deserve, to let you know that you are my most priced treasure… That I would do anything for you.”

I just looked at him: “Are you… are you rambling? The elven king and man of precise language is rambling and stuttering?”

“Yes.” Was all he said. “And you currently sitting on my lap, dressed like that, doesn’t help my case either.”

“What's stopping you?” Letting my voice drop lower, I leaned forward, rolling my hips shamelessly over his lap. He groaned out, gripping my tighter. “Y/N… You don’t have to do this. I can live with it, if you aren’t ready.”

“Do I look forced, meleth?” I whispered close to his ear, nibbling on it. “Show me what it feels like. Please, meleth. Touch me. Please… be my husband.”

Thranduil let his head fall back, his eyes were closed, as he was definitely on his last straw of mindfulness. “How much do I need to push you, until you give in?” I giggled at his neck, making my way up to his chin and then hovering over his lips. “Would it help, if I lose my wedding dress?”

“You sound like a prostitute…” He gritted out and I just grinned wider. “And? Is it working?”

“Yes. And I don’t know if I like that thought.”

“Which thought? Me as a prostitute, or that I am succeeding to win you over that easily?” I kept on teasing him. Leaning back, I opened up the strings of my dress, pulling it over my head.

He balled his fists at my waist, his eyes forcefully trained on my face. “Both. But I would never let you become a prostitute.”

“Scared to share me?” Still keeping up my teasing way, I just sat on top of him, waiting for him to react. “No.” He gritted out.

“What's it then? Afraid another man might do me better?” Wetting my fingers with my tongue, I let them slide between my legs, stabilizing myself with my free hand on his knee. And when my fingers found my clit, I hummed in pleasure, still watching his face intently. Not reacting to my administrations, he spoke in a very forced tone: “You are my wife. There is no other man. Ever.”

“Hmmm. I like that, meleth.” I sighed, feeling how I grew wetter, so I dipped one finger inside my core, only to then put it to my mouth to lick it clean. “I like it, when you get possessive and confrontive towards other men. The difference of how you treat them and how you treat me, makes me feel special.”

“Does it now?” He sassed and I sighed internally. I finally had him broken out of his restrictive shell. I had my husband back: “Always has.”

“You really want to do this?” He inquired further and I nodded. “Yes. Please. I think I am ready.” Taking one last breath, he gripped my thighs. “Hold on.” Without giving me much time to react, he got up, walking towards the bedroom. “If you want me to do this, I am going to do this properly.”

“I know. Everything else wouldn’t be like you.” I grinned, hiding my face in his neck. He sat me down slowly on the edge of the bed. Then he stepped back, taking off his clothes one piece after the other: “If you are already naked, I shall be too. I don’t want to make you feel insecure.” His words made me blush and I stuttered out a quiet “Thank you.”  

Thranduil came back to me sinking further to his knees. When he was eyelevel with my stomach, he softly kissed it, then down my thigh until he reached my knee. “Lean back and relax.” His voice was rough, his warm breath sending goosebumps over my inner thigh.

“I want to watch you. I need to see you.” I whispered, stroking through his hair. His jaw clenched at my words, but he didn’t say anything, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to it. “If you wish so.” His fingers ghosted over my skin, leaving trails of goosebumps behind. “I will take my time today. I want to take care of you as good as I can.” He whispered roughly, kissing the insides of my thighs up to my core. I was too mesmerized with his softness, his blue eyes burning with love and passion, that I was incapable of answering him.

Then I felt his first finger touch my core and I stiffened up, digging my nails in his shoulders. He immediately stopped, looking up at me, waiting for me to relax. We stared into each others eyes, Thranduil kissing and nibbling on my thighs. “You are safe, meleth. Relax. There is nothing you have to fear.” Taking a deep breath, I focused on his eyes, relaxing as much as I could. And when he felt me giving up my barrier, he kept on pushing his finger inside of me. “See? You are doing great.”

I closed my eyes, the faint sound of his name on my lips and I could feel the familiar feeling starting to grow between my legs. Carefully he added another finger, scissoring them apart, creating a steady rhythm. “Let go, love. You are doing so good. Taking my fingers so well.” He praised me, his voice low and soft like silk. I could feel my blood rush to my face, painting it a light pink shade, my heartbeat thrumming in my ears, that I nearly missed his sweet little murmurs. His mouth wandered all over my thighs, my stomach, and hip bones, until he hovered over my core. “May I?”

“Yes…” I breathed out, moaning, when I felt his lips kiss my sensitive spot. Instinctively I spread my legs further, letting myself fall back onto the bed, one hand still clasping his free arm. “Thranduil…” I moaned, unable to focus on anything else than the man between my legs, lulled in by his sweet touches and soft little praises. “Please don’t stop.” I cried out, not really caring, that it was still the early evening, our windows hanging open, still a hurried humming coming from the big ball room.

“Never.” Was all he answered, slowly finger fucking me. It was ridiculous, how fast he was able to find the sweet spot deep inside of me. I heaved myself onto my elbows, wanting to see him, rather than just feeling him. And the expression that he had on his faze was breathtaking. Full of confidence and arrogance, a slight smirk forming on his lips, when he realized I was watching him again. “You taste so fucking good.” He groaned, raising his head to properly look at me. The shamelessness of him made me gasp out in embarrassment. His face was covered in my slick, eyes wild and hungry.

His gaze flickered between soft love and hungry possession as he was clearly fighting his urges to claim me. And I was absolutely turned on by it.

Thranduils smile grew wicked, when he saw how much I was affected by him. Wiping my slick of his chin, he licked his fingers clean, making a show out of it, simultaneously not stopping his fingers working my core. “You like that do you?” I wasn’t able to answer, just staring him in the eyes. “Answer me, my love, or I will stop.” He teased, some of his usual possessive self breaking through.

“Yes.” I pressed out, his name quickly following, when he curled his fingers perfectly against my sweet spot. Dipping down again, his fingers and tongue kept pushing me further down the road of my orgasm. The knot in my lower stomach starting to grow tighter, my legs wrapping around his shoulders, to keep him in place. I could feel my walls starting to flutter around his digits, another sign that I was close. The strength left my upper body and I fell back onto the bed, pulling his free arm close to my chest, nails digging into his skin. My eyes rolled back into my head as his name rang through the room, when my orgasm suddenly washed over me.

I felt him carefully pull out his fingers, his hands gently covering my cunt, as I just dwelled in the feeling. Tears started to form in my eyes and I tugged on his arm. “Meleth…” I mewled, desperate to feel him. He reacted instantly, getting up from his position climbing onto the bed and pulling me higher into the pillows. I turned around, crawling to the headboard falling to my stomach. “Feel you!” I pressed out, hugging a pillow tight to my chest.

Seconds later, I could feel his warm body hovering over me. I reached out for his hand that was holding his weight, clamping my fingers around his wrists. Sinking down on his elbows, he pressed me down, taking my hands in his bigger ones. The new intimate position making me feel hot and safe at the same time. His strong chest forced me down, chest hair tickling on my back, his thighs caging me in, as he buried me underneath him. “Thranduil…” I whimpered desperately, bucking my ass against his crotch.

He growled into my ear, his lips smothering me roughly, leaving a trail of wet kisses behind. “Please… I need you… Meleth…” I tried again, pressing up against his body, only to be met with him pressing me down further. “By Valar, please… I cant bare it anymore…” Begging for more, I cried out for him the tension in my body so high, that I was sure I would snap any moment.

His hands were roaming over my body, when he suddenly grabbed my arm, twisting me around. I shrieked and he instantly pulled back, skidding back to the edge of the bed, hands raised. “I am sorry, darling. I let myself go. Forgive me.”

“Its alright, Meleth. I trust you. I just didn’t expect this.” I smiled at him, reaching out for him. “Come back. Please.”

“What if I hurt you?” He stayed at the end of the bed.

“You wont hurt me.”

“You don’t know that!” He nearly yelled; the stress clear in his eyes. I gulped hard, seeing him irritated like that send a shiver down my spine. Taking a deep breath, I forced the unwanted thoughts out of my head.

“I know that you would never willingly do something that would harm me in any way. And that is all you can do. I trust you with all my life and I want this, meleth. I need this. Please. What can I do to make you believe me? To help you to trust yourself with me?”

“Promise to tell me, when its too much, or when I hurt you.” He rasped, slowly coming back to me, leaning his face into my hand.

“I promise.”

“Thank you.” He whispered, kissing my palm, before he sat back on his ankles, opening his breeches and I couldn’t help but stare at him.

His cock sprung free, hard, and tinted in a light pink shade, a drop of precum already crowning on his tip. “Fuck yes…” I breathed, staring at his manhood, not realizing, that he moved again, ridding himself from his breeches, crawling towards me again. He forced me to lay back down on my back and I just wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him flush against my core. That caused him to grind his hips against mine, eliciting a soft moan from my lips. I just clung to his body, squirming against his touch. “So needy.” He mused, kissing his way down to my breasts, taking one nipple between his lips.

Him sucking so delicately on my nipple, let me jolt in pleasure. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my thigh, twitching in anticipation. Supporting all his weight on one hand, he looked at me one last time, waiting for me to give him my consent. Nodding I bit my lip, bracing myself for what was about to come. He guided his hard member into me, very carefully easing his way in. I was still incredible wet from my previous orgasm, but I wasn’t prepared to take him, my body tensing up at the intrusion, making him stop mid movement. “Are you alright, darling? We don’t have to…” But I shook my head. “Go on. I want this.” 

Once he bottomed out, he stayed sheathed like that, distracting any thought I had with kissing me, until my head spun. It didn’t take long for me to grow accustomed to him, my hips starting to roll against him. I held onto his shoulders, looking him deep into the eyes. “I love you.” Thranduil nearly crumbled at my words, closing his eyes and groaning lowly. “Fuck me… That’s the hottest ‘I love you’, you have ever said.” Giggling I blushed. “I doubt that.”

“Not that it isn’t incredible to hear you say it in any other situation, but this… this just hits different. You trusting me like this... This memory will forever be my heaven.”

“You old romantic.” I groaned, but my smile betrayed me, him bending down for a kiss. “Always for you.”

Slowly he started to move, setting a slow and steady pace, fully set on pleasuring me as much and long as he could. My walls started to accommodate him more, relaxing around him. I hummed at the sweet feeling that started to spread through my body, my head sinking deeper into the pillows. “Yes…” I sighed, closing my eyes, just holding onto his upper arms.

“I love you, darling. Just relax and enjoy.” His words were water on a hot stone, instantly fogging up my mind, a light veil covering us.

He bent down to my neck, kissing it, nibbling onto my shoulder and a short worry of being marked up by him shot through me, but when he managed to hit my sweet spot, that worry got kicked out of my mind again. “Thranduil!” I yelped, digging my nails into his arms even more. “Do it again.” He growled against my skin, his teeth nipping on the sweet spot right under my ear. “Let me hear how much this pleasures you.” I complied to his demand, babbling before I even managed to filter anything that left my mouth: “Please… Give me more… I need more. Make me your wife, please… This feels so good. You feel so good. Claim me, please… meleth.”

“God, Y/N.” He moaned. “You are going to be the death of me…” The way he was so affected by it, only fed the tingly feeling in my body, spreading it to my limps. The tension in my lower stomach now growing bigger with every second, causing me to produce a guttural moan. I clasped my hand in front of my mouth, my gaze wandering towards the open balcony door, but Thranduil didn’t seem to mind one bit. Quite the opposite. He let out a growl, taking my hand away again. “Let them hear. Let the whole kingdom know, that you are my wife.”

Shifting his weight, he leaned back on his ankles, raising my hips, while fucking me deeper into the mattress. The new position caused him to hit a particular deep spot inside of me, pushing all the air out of me in a loud cry of his name.

“Say it again, little one. Let everyone know who you belong to.” He darkly smiled at me, his thrust not faltering one second. “So beautiful. So perfect for me. Taking my cock so well.” Praising me, he didn’t let go of my eyes. “Keep your eyes on me, bereth. I want to see you, when you come.”

I couldn’t help but stare at him, mesmerized by him, not able to resist the drawl he put into calling me his wife. His wife. That title alone did things to my mind, I wasn’t prepared for. The knot in my stomach was about to pop, threatening to pull me under. And by the way he was grinning, he knew. Knew from the way I shivered, the way my walls fluttered around his length. “Go on, my starlight. Let go for me. I wanna see those beautiful eyes roll back in your head. Wanna feel how you twitch around me and make a mess on my cock.” He spurred me on. And on cue I came.

Hard.

My back arched from the bed, eyes rolling back inside my head. I shivered in his hands in pure bliss of my orgasm, his name ringing through the room loud enough, that I was sure even the soldiers standing guard on the southern entrance were able to hear me. This orgasm was hard and fast, crushing into me like a rogue wave. Thranduil still kept his pace, thrusting into me, roughly praising me: “That’s it, darling. Ride it out. You are doing so good. Looking so fucking beautiful.” And I could feel my cum leak on his lap, drawing lush sounds from my core.

“Meleth!” I cried out, now completely kicked out of reality.” Crying out in desperation I reached out for him. Thranduil gave into my pleading, leaning forward again, pressing me down with his full body, effectively caging me in between his hot chest and soft mattress. “Yes…” I mewled, wrapping my legs around his waist, feeling him thrust much deeper into me. I was again babbling absolutely unfiltered: “Don’t stop, meleth. Makes me feel safe. So good. Thank you.”

“Of course, darling. Everything for you.” His voice sounded strained and I realized that he was close as well. “Its okey. You can let go.” I tried to get the words out straight, but another moan rippled through me, him groaning, desperately gripping a pillow. “No. I am not finished with you. I want you to come with me.” The pure determination and love in his words, striking me deeply, so that I couldn’t help but, whimper again. I earned a soft bite on my shoulder, followed by more praises: “Fuck yes… I love it when you do that. Taking me so well, moaning for me in such beautiful tones.”

Sneaking a hand between us, he pressed two fingers on my clit, sloppily rubbing circles over it. I clenched around his cock as an answer, goosebumps spreading over my skin, as he forced the fire to burn up in my body once again. A shiver ran down my spine, my walls fluttering around his cock, my legs wrapping around him even tighter. It spurred him on to fuck me even harder, his fingers moving faster, the sloppy kisses on my neck now closer to love bites than anything else. I started to shake uncontrollably, my body overwhelmed by the desire and stimulation that he had and still was administrating.

“I got you.” He rasped out and it was all I needed to hear. I came again, succumbing to a shivering mess underneath him, clamping down on his cock. “Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned and I could feel him twitch inside of me. The feeling of his hot seed shooting up my core made me whimper desperately and I couldn’t help myself but to think about what it would feel like to carry his child. Slowing down his pace, he rode out our orgasms, smothering every bit of skin with wet kisses. He was breathing hard, trying his best to catch his stance again.

Pressing me close to himself, he rolled onto his back and I was now lying on top of him. “You did so good, meleth nin. Took me so well. I promise I will always love and protect you. You are everything to me, the only thing I would give away everything I own for without batting an eye.” Listening to his sweet ramblings, I let the tears roll from my cheeks, cherishing his love and the sweet intimate moment between us.

To my dismay, it was interrupted far too quickly, when I felt the mixture of my slick and his seed trickling out of me. Wriggling in his arms, I tried to find a comfortable spot, but the stickiness just got worse. He was quick to realize what was the problem. Pressing a kiss to my head, he rolled around again, getting up from the bed. “Stay there. I will get something to get you cleaned up.”

I just watched him scramble through the room and come back with a bowl of water and a wash cloth. He looked so incredible hot like this. His hair messy and disheveled. Eyes still glowing with desire. And when he saw his cum seeping out of me, I believed to see his gaze grow even darker. I sighed loudly, catching his look with mine: “How was I ever able to deny me such pleasures…?” He laughed at my words, slowly sinking to the bed and cleaning me up with soft little touches. “From now on you will never have to. Whenever you need me, feel free to come and get me.”

“Even when you are in a meeting?” I asked and he smirked at me: “Especially then.”

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

Once upon a time when employees are being interviewed at SI:

.

.

Interviewer: So what is it like working for Iron Man?

Employee A: Oh! Easy question. I like that. It is an honor, you know. It's what I thought when I joined, and it still is now. But also, I did not expect that SI is a place where we are allowed to prioritize things like family. Like last time, I left my phone on silent at my desk cause I had to go to a meeting. My kid at home was having an emergency and I couldn't be reached. But apparently, Friday, Mr. Stark's AI, keeps track of phone vibrations so she made the report and someone came to notify me. I didn't even know there was a protocol for that. Turns out my daughter was having her period for the first time! And I'm a single father so I had no idea what to do and I was panicking. Next thing I know, an SI nurse came and apparently she was sent by Mr. Stark to walk me through how to help. Apparently, Fri also caught my panic rumblings and triggered 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE PROTOCOL' or something. (*laughing*) The next week, we received an official email introducing a new department called Human Care. They encourage everyone to reach out if we ever find ourselves out of our depths on non company emergency matters.

.

.

Interviewer: How long have you been working here?

Employee B: Eight years, two months, six days and counting.

Interviewer: What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed here?

Employee B: (blanks out)

Employee B (struggling to think): Ahm. Really? Just one? Er- That's a tough one. Maybe that one time they set up a room for everyone to try lifting Thor's hammer? Or wait, no, maybe that time there when flying roombas were everywhere following Mr. Stark and reminding him to eat? Or when a villain came via the vents but before he could come down, Hawkeye accidentally hit him with pepper spray? I don't know, man. Weird things happen a lot. We're used to it by now.

.

.

Interviewer: Do you feel safe working here?

Employee C: Yeah. The avengers live here. But to tell you the truth, I think Happy Hogan and his black tux team of agents scare all the potential bad guys away. I heard rumors that Black Widow personally trains them. Like, I know two of them. Jake, for instance. He's like a giant, and he is intimidating but I saw him crying one time and when I asked him why, he just said Mr. Hogan.

.

.

Interviewer: Which avenger have you met?

Employee D: Oh, I've met two of them. Captain America and Thor. It was odd but one time, they were in the cafeteria and carrying trays of food and I do not mean just one each. Nope. Like, a ton! Like they're feeding an army. But it makes sense. Can you imagine the workout? With bodies like theirs? And the battles they go to? Man, if I have to save the world from aliens, I'll probably need the same nutrition.

.

.

Interviewer: Which avenger is the kindest?

Employee E: Ahm...We all know they're all badass. But kindest, I think Spider-Man. Last Thursday, it was raining, and then Spidey suddenly came all wet and holding a box and I'm gonna quote him now. He said, "Friday, can you please ask Mr. Sam Wilson Falcon sir to come down? The shelter is close and I have a box of puppies and I really, really want to bring them up but Mr. Stark is gonna ban me from the lab again."

Interviewer: Aww. So what happened next? What did they do with the puppies?

Employee E (grinning): Falcon came down, alright. But he came with Iron Man who zoomed past everyone to drag Spidey to the penthouse. I am not sure what I heard but he was muttering about oven toasters and frozen spiderlings? In the end, aome employees volunteered to take care of them. But I believe two of them are at the avengers' floor. We saw Mr. Stark ranting about puppy paw paint marks on his armani.

Interviewer (gasps): Oh my. Was he mad?

Employee E (ends up laughing): Mad? Try grunting fondly? Peter really likes those puppies. Mr. Stark tried to act like he hates them but really, he adores everything about the kid, puppies included. He even had custom made collars with avengers logo made for them.

.

.

Interviewer: I'm sorry? The Winter Soldier was asking directions to where?

Employee F: The Lego Store.

.

.

Interviewer: How would you describe the workload? Do you still get work life balance?

Employee G: I guess it depends. I work in R&D and we're all nerds there. So like, we're typically busy but it's play for us. Some days, we're really cramped with work, mostly when deadlines are nearing or sometimes, we're just really in the zone, we do not want to stop. Peter activated 'NIGHT NIGHT PROTOCOL' for that. Had Fri lock us out of the lab and we had no choice but to go home or nap at the sleep wing. And would you believe? After the product launch, we got emails on mandatory vacation leaves with bonus to spend! Like, who does that? So yeah, it's cool working here.

.

.

And then, there was this:

Interviewer: How does it feel to be the heir of a multibillion dollar top green tech company?

Peter (stares quizzically, dumb-founded): Uhhh-....Look, sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. I'm not- Maybe you got the wrong questionnaire? I'm just an intern-

Interviewer: Oh. Wait. Is it top secret then? Sorry, I was told of your identity as Mr. Stark's kid so I thought I could ask. But if you're not comfortable-

Peter: WHAT!?? Who said that? They're probably just joking.

Interviewer (chuckles nervously): Ms. Potts did actually.

Peter (freezes): Oh.

Suddenly the door opens and Tony walks in.

Tony: Hey kid, and Ms. Carrenland. How's the interview going? Thought I'd drop by for moral support, you know.

Peter (looks torn, but excuses himself to go to Tony): Uhm, Mr. Stark, can I talk to you for a second? Look, sir, ahm, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The interviewer asks me how it feels to be your heir. Like that's real. I don't-

Tony (has his brows rising to his hairline): Kid. Peter. Breathe.

Peter (groans and sighs embarrassingly): I just didn't want to lie! They mistook me for someone else. It was a misunderstanding!

Tony (smirking): It's really not.

Peter: What?

Tony: Kiddo, I was the one who gave Pep the approval to sign the questions. And really, you've been managing the R&D department and shadowing Pep at management for a year now. You never wondered why I make you do that?

Peter: Oh.

Tony: Yup. Genius child here.

Peter: I just wanted to help. You seem stressed out with the Avengers' work and dealing with the government. I thought I could lend a hand. I didn't- I don't expect you to- I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark.

Tony (scoffs): I beg to differ. Look, I'll be honest with you. Even if you aren't interested in the company, it's still gonna be yours. Look around you, kid. Do you think I let just anyone go around with a free pass at my tower? You have a room at my home. This place is your home, as where as everywhere else that I own. Plus, it's another motivation for you to take care of yourself when you go out as Spidey. Imagine all our employees. They need you, kiddo.

Peter (mumbling softly): I'm just Peter Parker.

Tony (smiles and pats his shoulder): And that is why I chose you.

[appleblueberry-pie]

I saw your post asking for yan Miguel asks:

I’ve been praying for someone to write about Miguel with a giant reader.

I dont even know if I want us to be a whole drider or just a Giant Woman™️ (lady Dimistrescu, my beloved). Or maybe both and we can final form an even bigger spider!

Sorry, I’m just excited to have a place to ask and I’ve had this in my head for so long 😅

It’s just been clinking around that in some spiders the females are much bigger and the males would have to like feed and appease her to try and mate without getting eaten.

And I am an absolute SUCKER for mating rituals!

I hope this catches your interest, thank you for reading 😊

Ooooooooooooooh my god? Yes? Why haven't I thought of this before??

DINNER IS THE DESSERT.

cw: mentions and threats of committing cannibalism. predatory tendencies. animalistic tendencies. sadistic and masochistic tendencies. public humiliation? scent kink. male sub + dom female.

Miguel is scared of you.

You....you aren't giving clear signals. He doesn't know what you want from him. All he wants is to please you, make you happy. He wants you to notice him and fucking love him. He wants to be yours. Not your dinner.

He used to be the tallest in the company. 6'10, 300 lbs. Ever since Jess softly introduced you and scattered off like a mouse, you have been the biggest. 7 feet fucking tall and one extra inch for decoration. 270 lbs and hungry for a mate. He can tell. Your scent wafts up his nose when he's in a 20 foot radius. And when he brings you a gift he think you'll love, he knows you don't like it when you stare down at him, almost disappointed in him, and lets the silence grow as everyone stares at the two of you. He awkwardly leaves when you don't say anything.

No one else will dare talk to you if they're interested because they know that they don't fit your standards. You're too fucking scary. No one. NO one can match your strength or even catch your interest besides him. And it's beautiful, because he's been obsessed with you and everything about you since he first met you. To be your bitch for the rest of his life is a dream come true. And to do that, he has to up his game. Attempting to intimidate you will get him killed. Simply offering himself to you will also get him killed. Actually, used, shown to everyone, and then killed.

And the only thing that has been working so far, has been giving you gifts. That's the only time he has a chance when it comes to communication and even winning a simple glance for your attention.

When you first introduced yourself to him, the both of you were alone. Peter and Jessica hated your energy, and Miguel was the only one that could possibly fight you off if you attacked them.

"Everyone thinks I might kill them if I get too close."

You were too close. He couldn't turn around. You were directly behind him, staring over his shoulder at his work. Not a single muscle in his body moved, his fingers stilled, his breath paused. Your body heat radiated off of your suit, doing nothing to filter the strong scent of your lust and hunger. Miguel felt your breath hit his neck and felt an urge to cry. He felt pathetic. His ears felt clogged as they began ringing, his heart beating out of his chest.

He heard you laugh silently. "You're scared." You took a single step forward, and your front connected with his back. Miguel was becoming overwhelmed with his emotions. Within the five minutes he had known you, he found out he was so utterly attracted to you, wanted to be your mate, and was so fucking terrified of you all at once. Your scent punched its way up to his brain and made him close his eyes with how pungent it was.

"Don't be scared." His heart dropped as he heard himself breathing again, at quite a rapid pace. "Let it happen." He flinched when your cold fingers, and then your hands, touched around his small waist. You exhaled and stared holes into the side of his face. He still couldn't move.

"You smell so good." His heart leaped at the praise and he found the courage to blink again. But then your lips brushed against his neck and he violently flinched, yelping in fear. You were going to eat him. Your hands tightened painfully around his body when he was about to thrash and he began hyperventilating in fear.

"What did I just say??" Your hot breath hit his ears and your words shattered his mind. Without thinking, he responded. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." You roll your eyes and step away from him, giving him the space he needed. Immediately, he gulped in as much air as he could. His shoulders relaxed slightly and he finally turned around to face you.

You looked as beautiful as he thought. If not, more. Your broad shoulders, muscular legs, sharp eyes and face. You looked down at his raging hard cock and frowned. "So fucking pathetic." You step closer and firmly grab his chin, his eyes turning the other way to not make eye contact out of fear. "It makes me want to taste you." Your words cause an accidental whimper to slip from his lips.

If Miguel knew that taking that serum was going to do this to him, he would've never became spiderman. He felt like he was going to urinate everywhere, climax in front of you, sweat up a storm, and scream for help all at once. He wanted to crawl underneath your skin and be one with you, but wanted to be far away from you at the same time. He felt a violent pull and push when around you and he felt it deep inside of him. Something inside of him screamed that this was his mate, and he was yours to please, and to do anything for your approval. You bring him light. He never was so conscious about his precious body until you came and threatened to kill him in his work space like you owned him. And maybe you already did. Because he's never felt his heart beat like this, he's never felt so alive. He wants you. He wants you.

You bring your eyes down to those lips. His fangs began to protrude and poke at his bottom lip as a natural reaction to a predator. Anything to stay safe and close to away from you. "I wanna have my fun with you, first." Miguel physically can't respond. He lets the silence build, his tongue heavy and numb. But then you let go and walk off like nothing happened. You haven't spoken ever since. And he's been trying to win your love ever since.

Miguel doesn't remember the last time he's had a real conversation with the rest of the spider community. Because all he's been doing is growling at people like a dog when it's not you. Lyla had to set up an entire other email account for people that want to reach out to Miguel and had Jess answer under the account name whenever she could. If you're not out scaring the spiders just from being there, Miguel is out there purposefully scaring people out of their socks. He wants NO attention on you besides his own, and he makes sure of it. Fuck monitoring the missions, fuck eating, fuck sleeping, and fuck the multiverse(for now), you need tending to.

All of his technology as of right now goes into finding out what you love most and what not to give you. He knows you like homecooked meals, he knows what types of clothes you enjoy wearing besides the typical spider suit, and he knows you love baked goods. He watches your everyday life in your universe and has a visceral reaction when he sees you entertaining men and women that come flocking towards you. You know that he wants you. You know that he loves you and would do anything to win you over. So then why on Earth are you talking to them??

As an attempt to forget about your "playful" disloyalty, Miguel has been making you home-cooked meals every day for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you wanted food anywhere else besides his universe, he'll let you choose the location. If you didn't want food, he'd ask if you wanted anything else. Massage? A hot or cold drink? Tired? Take a break, please. He can bring you to one of the resting rooms meant for healing Spider people who are injured, you get a pass. Don't like how long your mission is taking? He'll do the rest for you. All of his attention is yours. But recently, you haven't been reciprocating his advancements.

"Y/n...?" His heart skips a beat when he realizes you're staring at him like that again. You two were once again all alone in his office and you had him cornered. He looks off to the side to the multiple bags of things he was choosing to give to you that you'd enjoy. You had kicked them off of the platform. Clearly you wanted something else, he just couldn't figure out what. He didn't want to die.

"I'm getting bored."

You advance towards him and he stutters out, "What...? Dios mío, por favor, no me hagas daño. You know I-" "Shut up. Just...shut the fuck up." You sigh and rub your face. He stays still and lets you collect yourself. You wished that the smell of fear coming off of him didn't excite you as much as it did. "Why are you so stupid?"(My god, please don't hurt me.)

Miguel purses his lips. That's usually his line. But it's not like he isn't being stupid. He's like a child, blindly bringing their parent random things in hopes of gaining their approval. "Show me." Miguel blinks and looks up at you, confused. He opens his mouth to speak, but immediately shuts it to consider the possibilities. Do you mean himself? Show himself to you? He closes his eyes and inhales.....your scent. It smells so sweet now. You're trying to calm him. The corners of your lips slowly twist up and he understands.

You make him stand where you were, and you lean back on his work desk where he stood, crossing your arms. "Well?" He doesn't let another word slip out of your mouth and disengages his suit. He watches your eyes glint red and pulls down his (now) tight boxers that covered what you're probably wanting to see most. "No." His hands shoot to his sides and you stand to walk over to him. You stare him up and down, slowly circling him to get a full view.

"Think you can take me?" He nods at your question. "Speak." "Yes, I can take you." You place one hand on his lower back and press the softest kiss onto the crevice of his neck. It tingles with the feeling of your plush lips finally hitting his skin. "I don't know......I've heard about the small human women you've given yourself away to." No one compares to how you make him felt. He was offended that you thought his infatuation with you equated to random women he had with flings with to satiate his desire. He wanted to prove himself. Your nails suddenly feel so close to penetrating his skin, the more you touch him. He hears a churring noise come from your throat. And he tries to stop it in time, but he couldn't help reciprocating the same sound, now erupting out of his throat as well. You smile and bring yourself to stand in front of him again. "Is that what I am to you? A little human girl for you to share your seed with?"

Miguel shakes his head and opens his mouth, yet you interrupt him once more. "Then show me." Miguel's brain goes blank and his body feels light as he allows you to keep him safe to show you what his devotion means. He doesn't know if he'll live to see tomorrow or die blissfully to be your meal for the next few days. All he knows and wants and shall have are the next few hours to be yours completely. Body, mind, and soul in the ways he truly desired.

[fairy-verse]

: ̗̀➛ The Astonishing World Beyond the Veil

With the night cast in white and blue light the fairy of autumn and spring sprang up into the air, wings so fair they glittered and shone as they carried him up, up, and up. A split long-tailed fish with a moustache and a beard flew past with wings of pearly black, and it scattered as baubles of blue and green fluttered in the air like glowing insects.

But insects they are not, though not even Lumin has learned of what they are yet. Though he may see far more than other fairies, he’s yet to learn what it all is. A giant spider with round eyes and a frowning mouth hung from a cloud, but quickly it retreated as Lumin caught sight of it.

“Lumin.”

Ah, his soul’s song came near and Lumin turned to lock eyes with saddened periwinkle. No, not saddened, only downturned, but not sad. A dress of peach and pearls waved gently in the wind as wings of lovely pink fluttered silently, carrying the fairy who so long ago came to cradle Lumin’s restless soul within pale, clawed fingers. Wisps of silver white swam around Mimble as she approached, invisible to her eye, but as clear as night to Lumin.

“Mimble,” said Lumin, voice growing ever softer at the sight of his soul’s song. “You so rarely follow me when the night is cast in white and blue,” he added and came closer to trail gentle touches over freckled cheeks and full hips.

Mimble’s eyes closed for a moment, long enough for her freckles to shimmer and dance across her bones as Lumin caressed them. They stilled once Mimble returned to look at him again.

“Sleep evaded me after you left,” said Mimble, hands trailing feathery touches over Lumin’s arms, shoulders, neck, and chest before coming to rest by his narrow waist. “Will you travel again so soon? Must the clouds have you again already?” she asked, downturned eyes looking up at him in longing and love.

“Forgive me, my song,” said Lumin and leaned in to kiss her cheeks, her forehead, and her nasal ridge. “The seas above the clouds still call to me, urging me to find out more of their secrets. I wish I could show it to you, but I have not yet discovered how to reveal what now only my eyes can see.”

Mimble smiled, admiring yet silently grieved in its beauty. “The world beyond the veil?” asked she, voice a mere whisper as the wisps brushed across her cheeks and skull, ever unknown to her. “You speak of such fantastical worlds that not even fairies can see, and I wonder why they remain hidden from us.”

“Not hidden; forgotten,” said Lumin, and he rested his forehead against hers as his arms cradled around her, allowing her wings to falter and lay down as he held them both up, far, far into the glowing blue night skies. “Perhaps I am only to see what has been lost for so long, or…” he hummed a gentle laugh, “perhaps I am to reveal it to us. Fairies may have been in the world for a long time, but some things and places existed long before us, and I think they want us to see them, to know about them and to explore and revel in what beauties they hold.”

“It sounds so lovely,” said Mimble, eyes partly closed as she shared her warmth with Lumin. “I just wished they wouldn’t take you from me so oft. I am ever selfish in my want to have you by me, but I cannot help it, Lumin,” she added, and her smile was so mournful it moved even Lumin close to tears. “I yearn for nothing but your presence, my love. My soul sings in joy whenever you return home to me, yet I also feel that same delight whenever you speak of your adventures. Your happiness at what you see and hear… How can I not be fond of it? It is what you are, I know this, and yet I cannot help my longing,” said she, and she kissed him as gentle waves of clouds swayed and crashed like a great ocean above them, silver and blue in their nightly colours.

Lumin closed his eyes, shutting it out as all he wanted was to feel Mimble; his Mimble. The world beyond the veil could wait, for now.

[roninkairi]

NYCC 2024, Part 1

So another year, another NYCC has come and gone. And you know what that means right?

Picture time!

First, cosplay!

It has been a tradition to see her at the base of the escalators these past few years!

GO GO SESAME RANGERS!!

This photo is superior to Joker 2 in every way and you know it!

Lady Deadpool and Wolverine anyone?

"Why didn't you ask him to do the Think Mark meme?" you ask?

Because he had already did it 3 times prior to the picture being taken. Lets change it up a bit, shall we?

A WILD PENNY APPEARED!!

...where are her other Eevees anyway?*

Emma Frost would approve of her choice.

The Amazing Spider Outlaw

I am required by Ghostbuster law to find and document other potential co workers for the home office.

Also yeah, that is my Slimer thermos they are holding.

"I AM MAGNETO, MASTER OF MAGNET!!!"

Oddly enough this photo was taken an hour or so after playing the X-Men arcade game downstairs...

NOT SHOWN: Princess Bubblegum preparing a giant hammer to use on Ice King for being near her GF.

Just be happy Beerus likes the food here.

Mineta approves of this.

"What do you mean the Marvel vs Capcom Fighting Collection won't be released on the X-Box until next year?!"

Glad to see they finally worked things out!!

No one tells Miguel about this...

Uhh...

we may have just given Wanda WAY too much power...

Don't tell Miguel about him being here too...

I dare not ask what universe spawned these 2.

Anyone got some peanuts for her?

Oh, there they are!!

*you damn right I told them about the Penny cosplayer

Accidental photobomb

Stay tuned for Part 2.

...oh by the way there was one other cosplayer I left out, but for a certain reason, I left him out. You'll see why soon enough.

[mintsuwu]

IRENE STORYTIME BECAUSE IT WAS ABOUT TIME I am deeply sorry this will be a little long;;

Irene Relda, also known as "Mademoiselle Ratler" (based on a headcanon by Frankilew on DA in which the mice society changes the last names of those who are of different species, for example Ratigan instead of Flanigan) or "The Witch of Geinburg Street" is a female rodent born as a cross between a rat and a mouse, who lives apart from society due to discrimination and therefore is tired of everyone and everything(?

She is usually quiet and reserved, not showing emotions too often... But she's a gentle sweetheart deep down. And despite having quite the character and strenght, she is always willing to lend a helping hand to those who are not hostile towards her.

VOICE HEADCANON: Miss Spider (Voiced by Susan Sarandon in "James and the Giant Peach")

Irene´s mother was a rat of French origin who worked as a maid after moving to Mousedom, where she hoped to have a good life that unfortunately, she did not find. The father on the other hand was a well-to-do man, a prestigious professor or investigator at Scotland Yard…. But obviously, he could not accept the fact that the world knew that he had had a daughter with a maid who was, on top of that, a rat, so he fired the mother immediately and she took their child with her.

Irene didn't have the best childhood, but she was happy as long as she could be with her mother despite the difficulties she had to face (being a rat in a mouse society, single woman with a daughter who is a crossbreed, etc.). Sadly, there was a point when Irene's mother passed away and the girl had to raise herself from then on.

As she grew up, Irene acquired skills such as cleaning, sewing, and generally doing other household chores. She also knew a lot about herbs since, due to not having many resources, she could not afford to get sick often, so she could resort to the use of plants and natural healing methods.

Thanks to her skills she was able to follow in her mother's footsteps and worked as a maid, offering a good service regardless of the salary, but for various circumstances she was mostly dismissed: either because of her condition, because she was accused of acts she had not committed or simply because the ladies of the household did not like her (or were envious of her for a reason she could not understand).

She worked for a duchess at some point, who was actually a covert criminal who went by the name "Dolleyes" (huge shoutout to @rexmk0153universe-blog for suggesting her name and for helping me come up for so many ideas for this sequel au!!): her plans were based on getting in touch with or marrying rich men and then murdering them in order to keep their posessions.

One unfortunate day Irene witnessed one of the Duchess' crimes, so in exchange of her silence, she was fired (although she took revenge later… Let's say she offered Dolleyes an apology cake that had a dirty surprise and that hurt the noblewoman's ego while the queen of Mousedom witnessed everything (?) basically that cake scene from "The Help".)

From that humiliation, a lot of rumors about Irene began to spread. They said things of the sorts that she was a witch who stole valuables, tricked and seduced husbands, kidnapped children and ate them, or poisoned and even cursed those who upset her.

From the moment the rumors began, Irene had more difficulty getting a job because no one wanted to hire her, so she lived hand to mouth, and (perhaps do clothing comissions from time to time). The only hope she had was to be able to save enough money to go to France, which was her mother's homeland and where they wanted to return years ago before she died.

What Irene did not know though, is that shortly after she was going to help a very injured person one rainy night without knowing that it was a criminal mastermind. And from then on her life changed and she went from living alone having to endure the antics of a villain 24/7.

Irene's relationship with Ratigan fluctuates. They generally argued and disagreed in nearly everything- But there was a point when she realized the subtle detail that he never called her "rat" or something negative in relation to that aspect of her being, which she found strange considering he seemed to detest rats and he flatly denied being one himself… But out of respect, Irene didn't call him that any longer (although there were many times when she made him angry on purpose because knowing that he couldn't do anything to her in his current state amused her and one time she even used his old bell to tease him, which she took from Basil's house).

Regarding Ratigan's bell, the detective planned to search for it himself, but just then Olivia arrived with a reformed Fidget and volunteered. The bat, however, told her not to do it since he was paranoid that the professor was alive, even though he had been presumed dead after his fall from Big Ben… But Olivia's curiosity was greater and she prepared to investigate on her own. In fact, upon hearing the rumors of the witch she felt more convinced to continue (in some Disney Adventure comics, she and Fidget investigated paranormal events, so I imagine she likes that stuff).

In the end she arrived at Irene's house, but the woman tried to intimidate her and throw her out without Ratigan finding out that the girl was there. To her surprise, Olivia returned a few days later and repeatedly.

Ratigan eventually found out that Irene was talking to Olivia, but suddenly offered the lady a deal… If she approached Basil through Olivia and managed to get the detective to lower his guard in order to take him down, Ratigan would leave her home as soon as he recovered, never to return, and would give her the money she needed to travel to France.

Irene, in order to get the professor off her back, accepted, and technically the scheme worked through the means of seduction (to Ratigan's confused displeasure because he had mixed feelings about Irene as the plan went by) but Basil snapped out of it soon enough and Ratigan lost again and fleed… He didn't give Irene the money however-

She and Basil talked things out later though, apologizing for trying to trick him. Despite how the two would clash at times, Irene and the detective got along rather well, and from that point she helped him and Dawson with some of their cases, one of them which involved Dolleyes, who intended on marrying Ratigan only to kill him and pull out a Corpse Bride kind of plan after...

She also grew close to Olivia and Fidget, specially the latter since he ended up becoming like an adopted son of hers. So in their own ways, slowly, they heal together from the loneliness and mistreatment they had recieved on their lives.

(Also yes the "caling people by any last names but their actual one" thing will be a running gag hehoo)

[riveracheron]

how to stage “the tragedy of francis” (MAG 172), but like. in a normal theatre

hi this’ll have to do today @a-mag-a-day

im a theatre technician who, upon listening to the Spooky Play Statement of “Strung Out” got really into the idea of how one would Actually create the technical elements. it seems like an interesting challenge! this was the only theatre related episode with indepth description of the Spooky Stuff but if yall are interested id be happy to talk about Other Episodes and ways you can practical effects your way through the fearpocalypse :)

spoilers for mag 172 and fake blood below the cut!

rules of this:

- i am a technician, not a director. i am assuming that the play as described by jon is the script and that we need a giant spider and hooks and blood. i am not making any choices, simply describing how these effects can be done in a professional theater sense. to that end, i am also only a student; and not an expert.

- we are going as hard as possible. no substitutions, no artistic choices to pare it down, no nothing. this is the magnus archives we’re getting meta enough. alongside that, im not worrying about budget. this is broadway level shit.

- i am not putting a stage on a stage. this is just looking at the Tragedy itself and jon can go sit in the audience for all i care.

cool? lezzgo.

i. the hooks

this is a fly system! it’s mostly used for lowering and raising set pieces. oftentimes, its also used with actors to raise them into the air when flying. shows like wicked, mary poppins and peter pan use this to pull actors into the air to make it seem like they’re flying.

it’s done with wires connected to hooks connected to the actors’ bodies via straps. sound familiar?

they are often hidden with lights, but they don’t have to be- for a play that draws attention to these wires, the designer would probably draw attention to them - at least for when they start to dance around and stuff.

the hooks that attach to francis’ joints throughout the show could be flown in as well, and their costume and more strategic lighting could make it seem like they were attached to them. you can get pretty grotesque with high budget theater and special effects makeup.

ii. the spider

characters that are puppets is not a new thing in theater! one of the most famous examples is Audrey 2 in little shop of horrors- a puppet that has an actor off stage saying their lines into a microphone. the spider would also probably be the same.

there are some motorized puppets like the sandworm in beetlejuice the musical, but most are person-controlled, which works best for speaking puppets as show to show, peoples way of speaking can change from show to show, and the puppet needs to be able to keep up, and motorized puppets can be out of sync.

this video is a good making-of process for a giant speaking monster puppet, and i assume the spider would be the same, just much higher. there would probably be a false ceiling like the false wall above, and the puppeteers would sit above to operate the legs as if they were dangling.

it would probably be also attached to a fly system for easy lowering as the scene goes on.

iii. minor things

- the blood would come from “strawberries”, little packs of blood hidden under actors’ costumes that they can burst when needed. theres also a capsule version that one can put in the mouth and bite down on.

this is an example from the 2019 production of oklahoma, and a good look at blood strawberries and what they do

- the spider-drink would probably be done with. fake edible spiders, lots of scuttling noises from the soundboard and lights that hide the fact that they are not moving, perhaps with strobe or something crazy. the spider rain would probably be the same, but with stagehands pouring spiders down from the catwalks.

- other characters would also be off stage with mics.

- good actors will sell a Lot of this. even if the new hooks and stuff don’t touch them, they can definitely make it seem like they do.

sooooo um yeah! as much as this episode made me sick - i love technical theatre and this was a fun infodump !! take this um. as you will ig. please stage safely !! blood packs can stain and fly systems can be unsafe so please. don’t try this at home. or at least get a professional to help

[jeanniebug623]

🕸️🕷️ Weaving the Web 🕷️🕸️

Chapter 15: Truth Be Told

“Nice try, kid.” Quaritch said with a huff of fatigue and a bit of frustration as he took a seat next to where the kid was crouched and watched Wainfleet take his chances with the ikran. 

Spider ground his teeth slightly and glanced down then away. Any direction to not meet the colonel’s gaze. When he ‘forgot to mention’ some parts of the iknimaya process and bonding with an ikran, the kid didn’t expect Quaritch’s challenger to fling both of them right off a ledge. Spider didn’t just feel bad because, without the colonel’s protection, he would likely end up back in a prison cell. That would be the best-case scenario. A straight jacket and padded room in the worst. 

“Must’ve been one of my other sides that forgot...” Spider said to lighten the mood. He didn’t know what the recom considered discipline for almost getting him killed but the teen REALLY didn’t want to find out either. 

“Yea right.” Quaritch said with a scoff and sarcastic smirk. He was legitimately angry with Spider for not mentioning that the Na’vi would handicap the flying beasts first before attempting to make the bond. 

“For what it’s worth...” Spider said, finally having the guts to look at Quaritch’s disappointed gaze, “...you did something Jake didn’t.” 

Ok, so it was a poor attempt at making up for Quaritch possibly falling to his death but the slight perk in the recom’s ears told Spider he’d fed his ego a little bit. Not that he wanted the recom to think he was anywhere near the level of greatness Toruk Makto was, but he had to think of saving his own skin while he was still property of the RDA. 

“You didn’t use a yìmkxa.” Spider said matter-of-factly then continued when the word meant nothing, “A banshee catcher to...you know...tie the mouth shut. There really aren’t many who don’t use them...if they don’t, it’s just to show off.” 

Quaritch noticed how the teen’s voice got quieter and more awkward as it was clear Spider was trying to butter him up. The colonel had made it quite clear the consequences of causing any trouble the first time they left Bridgehead. But a lot happened since then. He was only dealing with one snarky teenager then...not said teen, a young child, and a psychopath. 

The colonel’s frustration tempered as he rested and looked back to the cheering of Wainfleet dominating the stone arena. He chuckled a bit and said, “Ya don’t say. There’re things even the great Toruk Makto can't do, eh?” 

Spider shrugged and let out an internal sigh of relief. He avoided an ass whippin’, right? Or maybe that threat was null and void now that he was so fucked up in the head? Some of the recoms acted like they were walking on eggshells around him; some acted like nothing had changed. He wasn’t sure what he would do outside of the situation. He barely knew how to handle it as it was happening to him... 

“I am...sorry.” Spider said, glancing at Quaritch then back forward when the colonel gave him a side glance. 

Quaritch stared at the boy in his side eye glance before leaning forward and saw the boy’s jaw was set tight and his brows were furrowed up. If he had pointy ears too, the recom was sure they’d be pinned back and showing genuine regret. When he smirked again, it wasn’t forced or sarcastic and he reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair. He pretended not to notice Spider flinch then try to hide it. No need to embarrass the poor kid any more than he had been... 

“Point for you, tiger, I’d be a fool to not expect you to try and knock us all off at least once...” Quaritch said. 

Spider smiled slightly and tried to hide that as well, trying not to lean into the giant hand ruffling his locs. Part of him tried to pretend it was Jake doing it. Like in some fantasy, he had been saved and everyone was happy he was back. And Jake was promising that he would never let anything happen to him again. Treat him like his own son for once... 

And yet...it felt like Spider had that with...his dead father’s recom? Maybe that was just his brain damage making him feel that way... 

But after everything Quaritch had done the last few weeks? Taking ‘legal custody’ of Spider so he wouldn’t be prisoner, being present at every major medical test, letting him stay in an apartment reserved for military leaders instead of some grunt barracks? Well...Spider also had to remind himself that Quaritch was the reason he was kidnapped and ended up in that stupid death machine in the first place. Still...if Spider was ‘nothin’ to him’ then why was Quaritch doing so much? 

“I reckon not everyone walks away from this, do they?” Quaritch asked, interrupting Spider’s thoughts as another of the squad started scrapping with an ikran. 

“Nope.” Spider said, watching Lopez get flipped right off the ikran’s back as soon as he managed to mount it. 

“And kids do this?” the colonel followed up with. 

“Like I said, younger than me. Just part of being seen as an adult in the clan. Becoming one of the People. Some of them never make it...” Spider said, his mood dropping with his tone. Despite all he had accomplished, as far as young hunters his age go, he would never follow in his friends’ footsteps. Though Quaritch took it in more the literal sense, which was also true... 

“So, parents send their kids up here to die?” Quaritch said, his ears pinning back. Something twisted in his gut that made him feel uncomfortable about a teen younger than the boy next to him taking on such a dangerous challenge. Then the twisting tightened when he thought about the danger he’d put Spider and the Sully kids upon finding them in the woods. 

No, that was unexpected and could have proved useful to finally getting Sully in the RDA’s crosshairs. 

COULD HAVE. 

“Not to die.” Spider corrected quickly, “To prove themselves.” 

“Ya ever seen a kid fail this test?” Quaritch asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes, but he didn’t die. He came back when he was ready and did it again.” Spider said, shifting his feet closer together in his crouched position and crossing his arms on his knees. The position was guarded and Quaritch could tell the boy didn’t want to talk. 

“One of Sully’s kids...?” the recom asked quietly. 

“Yea...” Spider said plainly and buried his chin in his arms as he watched the squad continue to pair up with the ikrans. Something he would never be able to do. Spider would grow up, sure. Something about being considered an adult at 18? What the hell did a number have to do with proving oneself an adult? And what did that matter to his people? To the Omatikaya? Age had nothing to do with being one of the people...it was what they did in those years. And there was a lot that Spider could not do... 

The teen didn’t want to admit he was impressed with the recoms when they were all off the mountains and sitting around a campfire with their new partners snug on the cliffs around them for the night. Spider stayed quiet and just smiled to himself as he listened to the squad give each other a hard time over what they could have done better against the ikrans. 

“That’s bull and you know it!” Lopez shot back as he was on the receiving end of most of the hazing. 

“Seriously, brother, if you hadn’t tried to jump it so quick, you wouldn’t have landed on your ass.” Wainfleet jeered with a laugh. 

Spider watched the way the recoms spoke to each other. They goaded each other in a way no different than himself and Lo’ak. It sounded tough but was all in good fun. The comradery. The warrior’s brotherhood. They were practically a family. More of a family than he ever had. He tried to push that thought away. He did have people in his life like this...he really did. They’d just...left him behind. Well, Jake probably made that call so was he really surprised by it? He wasn’t Jake’s kid...and he wasn’t worth the risk... 

“Spider?” Quaritch said for the third time, concerned the boy was disassociating and one of the alters had stepped in without any of them noticing. He placed a gentle hand on Spider’s shoulder and looked into his eyes while asking, “You good, boy?” 

“Yea, why?” Spider asked. Traces of panic infiltrated his mind. Did he lose time? Did someone else take over? 

“Yea.” Quaritch said quickly to put concern out of the boy’s mind, “I asked you three times if you were still hungry, but you didn’t answer.” 

“Oh...sorry...” Spider said, sighing quietly in relief as he looked back at the fire. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry for, kid.” 

“I think I’m just tired...”  

“You should be after tryin’ to leave us behind in the mountains.” Quaritch said as he patted the boy’s head and nodded off to where their sleep mats were laid out away from the fire, “Off to bed now, son. Get.” 

Spider stared at Quaritch, long enough that the colonel looked confused. ‘Son’ was not a word Spider was used to hearing unless it was in the context of ‘son of the demon’. He wasn’t really that tired. His brain was too busy processing his shifting perception of Quaritch and the recoms. How could being stuck with people who were supposed to be ‘the enemy’ feel like such a safe place to be...? 

Eventually, he nodded and wandered over to lay down away from where the fire polluted his night vision. Laying on his back, Spider stared up at the starry sky and shifting colors from the aurora. 

“Everything ok, boss?” Wainfleet asked, interrupting the colonel’s thoughts and staring at the boy. 

“Yea, Lyle...” Quaritch said, running his hand over his chin, “Just tryin’ to figure out what’s on the kid’s mind. Can’t read him today.” 

“You could just ask him.” Wainfleet suggested. 

“I asked him if he was good. Said he was.” 

“He might think he’s good. Or it might be easier to just say he’s good. Don’t you remember being a teenager? Last thing you wanted when a parent asked what was wrong was to actually tell them the truth.” 

“Parent?” 

Quaritch and Wainfleet looked at each other in silence. 

“Well, you know...ANY adult asking a teenager what’s wrong...they’re gonna avoid talking about it.” Wainfleet said. He didn’t realize what he’d said until his friend called him on it. Regardless of the shock of the term used, the corporal clapped his hand on the colonel's shoulder as he stood. “I’ll take your watch, boss. Take the night off.” 

Quaritch watched Wainfleet take up arms and start the new two hour perimeter watch. He cleared his throat and looked back to Spider. He could see he wasn’t asleep. In fact, the kid was pointing up at the stars and slowly moving his hand around. He cleared his throat again to distract himself from procrastinating then went over to the boy. 

“Not as tired as you thought, eh?” Quaritch said as his shadow blocked the firelight. 

“Too bright with the fire...” Spider lied. 

“Ah, right...hate that...” the colonel sat down, continuing to block the firelight. “Better?” 

“Yea...thanks...” Spider said, resting his hand on his stomach. 

“What’s got your head in the clouds, tiger?” Quaritch asked, leaning his head back to look up at the stars as well. 

“Just looking at the pictures in the stars.” Spider said with a shrug. 

“The Na’vi got constellations too?”  

“Yea...” 

“Like what?” 

Spider rolled his head to look at Quaritch as he continued to see what he could figure out on his own. He couldn’t tell if the recom really cared about the stars, but he did care enough to come over and check on Spider. So, he might as well humor the conversation... 

“There’s Tuvom Taronyu and Taronyutsyìp right there...” Spider pointed to two clusters next to each other. “The Greatest Hunter and the Little Hunter.” 

Quaritch looked at where Spider was pointing but it just looked like shiny dots in the sky to him. His ears twitched back, and he shuffled down the mat so he could lay back to see it from the same perspective as Spider. It didn’t help much and he asked, “Not seein’ a damn thing, Spider, what am I lookin’ at here?” 

“There.” Spider pointed up and the colonel tilted his head to get a better look, leaning his cheek against the top of Spider’s head. “You see the spear in the Greatest Hunter’s hands? And the bow in the Little Hunter’s?” 

“Ehh...” was all Quaritch could say as he tried to see what the boy was seeing. He held up his arm between them. Spider leaned his head further into the gap between the recom’s head and shoulder to look up the direction of his arm. 

“More like...there.” Spider said as he reached over to grab ahold of Quaritch’s arm and moved it into a better position. As he re-explained, he continued to move the recom’s hand accordingly like he was tracing the stars like a connect the dots page out of a child’s coloring book. “There’s the big hunter. And the spear...is over their head. See?” 

“Ah, yea.” Quaritch said, genuinely seeing the full picture now. The teen continued to tell him about the constellation and then some. He pointed out animals and plants and Na’vi folklore. The fire had been put out and the squad went to sleep. The sounds of the forest echoed, but all Quaritch could hear at that moment was the boy next to him as spoke with such fervor and passion that they could forget about what brought them to this point in time. And what unpredictable future lay ahead for the boy. 

“There.” Spider said suddenly, pointing to a constellation that had peeked out from behind the floating mountains as the stars moved across the sky over the time they’d been talking. “That one’s mine.” 

“Yours? Don’t tell me they do that horoscope bullshit here on Pandora too.” Quaritch grumbled as he tried to figure out what Spider was pointing at. Then a thought crossed his mind...what was Spider’s zodiac sign? He may not have cared for it, but Paz did. 

“I don’t know what that is.” Spider said before quickly moving on and drawing over the stars with his pointed finger so Quaritch could get an idea of what the image was, “A lot of times, Na’vi kids will claim a star or a constellation as kind of a guardian. Something to watch over them when they can’t watch over themselves. You know, like when you’re asleep? That one’s mine.” 

“Kinda looks like a...” Quaritch tilted his head to the side and squinted. He really didn’t want to insult the kid by his interpretation. Considering how many countless stars were in the sky, this specific constellation seemed sparse. It had the least amount of stars after the boy traced over it again. He cleared his throat quietly when he felt the kid’s head bump against his shoulder to prompt him to continue speaking and said, “Like a little arrowhead...surrounded by little spindly legs. But it looks all by its lonesome.” 

Spider snorted at the description and tilted his head against Quaritch’s arm again, “I mean you’re not wrong...” 

“What’s your little guardian called?” Quaritch asked, smiling that he figured it out without embarrassing himself too badly. 

“Le’awtu Swirä.” Spider answered quietly. 

“And that means, smart guy?” 

“Lonely Creature.” 

Silence fell between the two. Quaritch found himself missing the boy’s endless astronomy lecture immediately. To the colonel’s relief, Spider spoke up to further explain. 

“It’s not what you think...” Spider said vaguely. He took in a breath then let it out before continuing, “The Lonely Creature is one of the Na’vi’s greatest stories. It’s about an unknown creature that lives everywhere on Pandora. In the forest, the mountains, the seas, the deserts...everywhere. No one knows what it looks like, but they know it’s there.” 

“A whole pack of unknown critters?” Quaritch asked. 

“No, just one. But it can be anywhere it wants to be. Not knowing what the Lonely Creature is makes it accepted wherever it goes. The Na’vi respect the Lonely Creature because they don’t know what it is. They don't hate what they don’t understand. They need a reason to hate something...so they don’t hate what they don’t know.” Spider said, his eyes staring unblinking at his guardian in the stars. 

Silence fell between the two as stones sunk into Quaritch’s stomach. There were a lot of reasons for the humans and the Na’vi to hate each other. That was for damn sure. But he didn’t care about that. Spider was so expendable that there were no rescue attempts. If that didn’t say ‘hate’ in some form of the word, Quaritch didn’t know what did. But this poor kid didn’t deserve that... 

“Means more now than ever...most kids stop believing in them way younger than me...” Spider admitted sheepishly. 

“Yea? Why’s that?” Quaritch asked, quietly. 

“They don’t need stars to watch over them because they can connect to who’s here...they’re protected by who’s here...” Spider answered. A third silence. The colonel didn’t know if the kid was talking about parents or the clan or their great goddess Eywa. It seemed this Lonely Creature chose to stay lonely just to feel wanted, respected, and a part of something. Even if it that acceptance was based on how far it could stay away... 

“Am I ever going to be ok...?” Spider asked with a quiet voice, barely able to escape his tight throat. He didn’t feel as lonely as he used to. It was hard to when all he could think about was the extra personalities that he could not control. But they were there in his mind.  

“You’re already ok.” Quaritch said, struggling almost as badly as Spider was to speak. The boy didn’t answer but he heard him shifting until he was lying with his back to the recom. Quaritch contemplated his next decision, both for his sake and the boy’s, before sweeping his arm out and around the boy to pull him close. 

Spider may have been a little panicked mentally but allowed Quaritch to scoop him up in his arm to be pulled back against the recom’s side. The recom's arm was so long it could lay around his head and bend up at the elbow, so a large hand rested on the boy’s upper arm. Quaritch gave it a light squeeze and Spider found himself curling his head comfortably into the arm of the closest person he ever had to a father... 

Got to give a shout out to @naavispider for inspiration for their stargazing scene from chapter 12 of If You Ain't Playing Me. ✨

[kelppsstuff]

Benevolence 

Chapter one: Vivian

Warnings: cussing

Word count: 1851

Masterlist

I thought it was the happy hotel, not Hazbin. I thought to myself while staring up at the sign above the giant building. Well, it’ll be good to see Charlie again. I knocked on the door and waited. I could hear everyone in the lobby freaking out trying to get themselves situated– quite funny might I add. The person to open the door was a women, with an x over her eye. Interesting. “Hel–” I didn’t get to finish before she closed the door in my face, rude. I heard her started to freak out with the rest of who I presume are the staff. “Alastor! One of the commandments is at the door!” The voice who i believed belonged to Alastor had a radio effect on it.

“Oh what a sense of de-ja vu.” The door opened again to revel red. So much red. Red suit, red eyes, red cane, and antlers. The radio demon was a deer, who knew. “Welcome my dear! How can we help you?” There’s the manners a hotel should have.

“I’m looking fo dear Charlie, her father set up an appointment for her with the head of the exterminators.” The cat dropped a bottle and the spider fell over, well nothing. “She’s just getting ready for the day!” Good. I walked through the door, which should honest get a better bellhop. I waited as the first women I saw went to get Charlie. It was so obvious she was an angel I wondered if Charlie knew – of course I wouldn’t snitch.

The princess of Hell came running, full on sprinting down the stairs so fast I don’t even know if she touch one of them. “Did dad really set up a meeting?” She had stars in her eyes, It was nice to see how much she actually admire her dad. “Wants to help your Hotel, in any way he can. The only condition is I go with you.”

“Why?”

“Let’s say the leader isn’t a fan of your family.”

—

She started singing. She actually started singing. Sometimes I forget how much people in the after life sing. Even Heaven sings a lot. By the time we got to the sign in she looked at me – now done singing – and looked confused. I smiled at her and ranged the bell, a page appearing before us. I signed us in and the doors opened. Here we go. Charlie looked around calling out for someone. “Hellooooo? Anyone here.” It was pitch black but I could still see the silloutee of Adam. Yep Adam, the first man. “Sup.” The lights flicked on and charlie stepped back into me. I steadyed her before taking a seat.

“Oh hi, I’m Charlie my dad set up this meeting for me.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you.” She started to walked to him as he stuck his hand out. “Nice to meet you too.” But she didn’t shake his hand as her hand went through him. He was a hologram. “HAHAHA! I got you! You see that shit Lute?” He turned to the other angel who just nodded at him. “What about you babe? You seen that?” Did he seriously just call me babe? Imma kill myself. “Wasn’t paying attention.” He nodded up and down and looked to Charlie. “It was good shit!”

“Well anyways I’ve been working on the project–” I took this as my que to teleport her notes in front of her with the snap of my finger. “And I really wanna get into it.” But she was sushed before she could even start, as Adam put his hand up. “Slow down, we’ve got time. Want some food, I got just the thing.” He held up a plate of ribs. God Charlie don’t fall for it again. “Oh thank you.” Her hand went through the plate, and I meedietly slapped my head. What a dumbass respectfully. “I got you again bitch! You see it that time babe!”

“Not my name and no I didn’t.” I wasn’t going to indulge him. I never indulge anyone. His mask frowned and his eyes brows pulled together.

—

“So I was playing this gig–” Of course he’s a rock star. “And this virtue chick was digging on the drummer.” He then turned to me to see if I was paying attention to his story. “And I’m like do you know who I am, I’m fucking Adam. I’m the original dick, every dick decens from me, and you think you want drummer dick?” He was speaking as if anyone who didn’t immediately want him was fucking stupid. “So then we fucked and it was great.” What a lovely tale. “What you two do this weekend?”

“Wait your Adam, like first man.That explains so much.” The said man just smiled and stuck his hand up saying. “I know I fucking rock.”

“Well, Adam, Sir, Sir Adam.” She was fumbling and his next words did not help. “Call me dickmaster.” I glared at his masked face. “Adam.” I said my voice final.

“Say my name all you want babe.” Imma throw hands with him I swear to god.

“Anyways, Adam, you seem like a smart stand up guy.”

“Uh huh.” Picking at his teeth. Are you serious?

“I know your the leader of the angels, your a revelational genius.”

“I mean your words sweetheart.”

“Who would want to put his name on something.”

“I fucking love putting my name on shit!”

Charlie walked over to him and put her hands out in a grand gesture way. “It’s a solution to our biggest problem.” He looked to Charlie and smacked his lips. “Oh herpes yeah thats a bitch.” Welllll, I suppose he’s not entirely wrong. “No! Our second biggest problem.”

“Oh ugly people?” My eye twitched. He looked to me with a fucking smirk that I woud wipe off in an instant if he were someone else. I suppose he finally did get a reaction out of me. “Math? Global warming? No thats Earth’s issue. Uhhhhhhh.”

—

“You mean when you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay! But wasn’t she like ‘hey I want equality’!” I raised my eye brow to him and looked him up and down. “Hard to believe you could get to a fifth date.” Now it was his eye that twitched. Before he could make a comeback Charlie groaned.

“No our shared problem of over population in hell!”

“OHHHHHH! That’s not a problem. Lute how many demon you kill this year?” The angel at his eye finally spoke up. “Got a good 275 sir.”

“275! Woah, awesome job!” The angel fist bumed her boss and glared at me. Fucking bitch. “No! Not awesome, those are my people, my friends.”

Adam nodded his head put his hands together. “Must suck for you!” Charlie heart looked broken listening to them, and this is exactly why Lucifer sent me with her. “Watch it. That’s royalty our speaking too. And sinners and saints souls are no different, death comes for both, and they both live a life.” Lute glared at me trying to burn a hole through my skull while Adam titled his head.

“Sinners may have made mistakes, but so has everybody.” Lute turned her glare to Charlie. “Angels don’t make mistakes.” I wasn’t going to let her continue her bullying, I’m over this shit. “Tell that to your bloody uniform, how bout you wash it. Would hateee for your secret to get out.”

“Listen to Lute babe, I’ve never made a mistake in my fucking life.”

“The only reason your here is beacsue daddy gave you and your hell born kind a pardon. How does it feel to know how little you matter.” This bitch. I stood up and yanked her away from Charlie. My hand didn’t go through her hologram. My hand was burning like fucking hell, but I had enough power to reach her as long as they were being projected here.

Her eyes widened as I pushed her to the ground. “Watch you fucking mouth, or next extermination I’m coming for you.” Before I could take another step Adam cleared his throat. “I guess we should hurry this up.” Charlie pirked up at that while she started to sing her little presentation to Adam – all the while I was keeping my glare on Lute.

“Let me stop you right there save us all precious time. (oh okay) if what your suggesting is letting them climb up the latter. Oh they rather cross the pearly gates.” Okay, I’ll admit it, his voice is fucking awesome. “Sorry sweetie but theres no defying their fates cause hell is forever weather you like it or not. Had their chance to behave better now the boil in a pot, cause the rules are black and white. Theres no use in tryin to fight it, there burininn for there life until we kill the again.” I started to speak up but he put his finger up to my mouth, stopping me. “Just try and relax babe, your wasting your breath. Did I hear you imply that they don’t deserve death?” I started to back up pushing Charile with me. “Are they winners? Are they sinners? Cause it’s cut dry. (well actually if you take a look at this–) Fair is fair, an eye for an eye. When all said and done. (Said and done) Theres the question of fun. And for those of us with divine ortainment, extermination is entertainment! Gutair solo fuck yeah!” He started to fly around with Lute while other angels appeared around us. “Cause hell is forever weather you like it or not, had their chance to do better now they boil in a pot. The rules are black and white, there no use tryin to fight it. (Where did all of you people come from?) There burning for their life until we kill them again. FUCKING HELL!” He brought out a guiatr and now I know the part he played in his band. “Is forever and it meant to suck a lot. You have to give up your endeavor cause you don't have a shot! He flew up beside me and leaned against my body he was slightly gitching, but I could feel him – just barely – but I still did. He was cold. “Now that I have your attention I guess I should mention that we made a determination! To move up the next extermination! (What?)” I pushed him off me and and turned to him, pure shock on my face. This mother fucker. My eyes started to glow purple and I could feel my power running through my veins begging to be released. “Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts, I know it’s been a week but we’ll be back in six months.” And the he pushed us both out the door. Charlie was quick to try and get back into the room but it closed quickly. “Shit!” Imma fucking tear their souls apart and have them feast on it before ripping there throats out.

[catbountry]

Kill. Murder. Rape. Suicide. Pedophile. Nazi. Hitler. Covid. Dead. Death.

When's the last time you watched a YouTube video or a TikTok video where some or even all of these words were censored, either by being bleeped out like what used to be reserved solely for swear words, or having sound-alike stand-ins (sewer slide, PDF File) or euphemisms (unalive)?

I'm not sure exactly where "unalive" came from, but I want to say it was in a similar batch of Roblox screencaps of children trying to creatively get past wordfilters by telling people to "go commit die." And I guess Fortnite played a role as well. Apparently "game-end" is attributed to a short film covered by Pyrocynical which was made to be family friendly, but I swear I have this memory of official Epic Games promo material using the term and I don't know if this real or not. I don't play Fortnite and I never will, so this was not considered important enough to really properly commit it to memory.

EDIT: It came from a Spider-man cartoon where Deadpool used it in an incredibly in-character way. Thanks, Guy I'm Going to Reference Later in this Post.

It's an incredibly childish word. It seems like it was one that used to be used ironically until TikTok, being owned by a Chinese company where censorship laws are much stricter than here in the U.S., decided that words like "dead" and "death" and even "hole" were too dangerous of something, causing users to start getting creative and adapting these absurd euphemisms and they became so popular that people started using it who weren't even using it as a cheeky way to get around these word filters, on other sites that didn't have these same restrictions.

YouTubers can say the word "death" and "die" and (usually) don't have to worry about demonitization. The self-censoring that I remember starting on this very website, done as a way to either prevent posts being found through search or possibly offending the most sensitive of followers, is now being used by users to get around the restrictions set by giant faceless corporations to protect The Children, whose parents are giving them unrestricted access to the internet at younger and younger ages. I watched a video from an adult YouTuber crying about Newgrounds-style animations that were on YouTube about My Little Pony and about how traumatized he was by these, while also insisting he had good parents.

Good parents would not have let you have unrestricted access to 2012 YouTube unsupervised at age seven. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I gotta be the one to tell you this. I'm sure your parents are very nice people, but they could have easily used the internet to find out what kind of stuff was available on the internet. That was an oversight.

I was an adult on the internet in 2012. If I saw a parent just sit their toddler in front of YouTube, I would have asked them what the hell was wrong with them. Now, I see my cousin's children with their iPads watching videos of a faceless person playing with Paw Patrol figures, and I feel uneasy, but a little more hesitant to say something since my cousin seems well aware of the kind of place the internet is, and is always nearby when his kids are watching things. The internet was a constant presence for me in middle and high school, in the late 90's to early 2000's, and I saw some shit I should not have seen. But the trade-off was that I had a space where I could express myself openly, a place my mom didn't care about and wouldn't see. I clicked things I know I shouldn't have because I was a dumb, curious kid, and my mom was happy to not have to deal with me and have me be quiet, I guess. And my cousin is only a year older than I am, so I imagine our experiences on the early internet weren't that much different, considering he's also a bit of a nerd.

So this YouTuber aims his ire at the animators, who were making animations for other adult fans of the show (which he acknowledges), for daring to make edgy content of something made for children, holding up this children's media as a sort of sacred cow. For comparison, in middle and high school I was watching crude animations of frogs in blenders, stick figures bashing each other's heads into walls, and torture simulators featuring anyone from Pikachu and Elmo to Osama bin Laden. But because kids like him, kids brought up in the age of web 2.0, found these videos and watched them before their age had hit double-digits, those videos got lots of views from other children. And from that, we got Elsagate and Finger Family, videos that are still around but have mutated from featuring Elsa and Spider-man to now featuring Huggy Wuggy from Poppy's Playtime, or Pomni from The Amazing Digital Circus or Bluey from, uh, Bluey. These aren't edgy animations made for and by teenagers and young adults for a laugh, they're videos presumably made by teams of adults to mass produce and fill with as much shocking, click-baity content that doesn't even require being able to understand English to understand the plot, all to get watch-time to make money. There's no artistic merit to it. It's neither satire, nor is it an earnest expression of love for the source material, the latter of which, whether you like it or not, is where most rule 34 falls. No, these videos have only ever been content slop since this started around 2016. And this shit is still happening.

That same YouTuber has made a video about how we need to stop saying "unalive," which is part of what inspired me to post this at all, and I can't help but feel like this dude takes himself way too goddamn seriously, frowning upon "commit toaster bath" and "late term fetus deletus," which my edgelord, former 4channer millennial brain finds funny (it is too late for me, lads). This dude is in his early 20's and it's really interesting seeing someone discover pretty much things I've known since I was his age, but acting like they're these huge revelations. Like yeah, I've known about media influence on culture since I was in middle school, because of the internet, which was new and unrestricted by the Standards and Practices that shackled old media like radio and television. That used to be something that pretty much everybody on the internet was aware of; it's the reason why we came here in the first place. And you are right that giant corporations are censoring people, but also, the internet being corralled into a small handful of websites makes internet culture more homogenized and disposable. People can still meet life-long friends through the internet, but the sites where I first met some of my best friends are digital ghost towns, if they still exist at all, or they've become overrun with users infected by political brainworms that make them have incredibly strong opinions on a one-off promotional video done by Budweiser with a transgender TikTok influencer. You've got better luck making life-long friends through playing in the same Minecraft server together than you do being mutuals on Instagram or Twitter. And while Discord is the closest thing I've been able to find that replicates the feeling of both forum culture and chatrooms of the past, it's got its own set of problems unique to it. I can just say "Discord kitten" and most people who use Discord will know exactly what I mean.

Whoever decided to stop teaching kids about how to be safe online should probably be shot. Facebook made putting your whole-ass name and face and location on the internet not just normal, but people will find you suspicious if you choose not to do that. God, I fucking hate Facebook so much.

He's right, though, about the social contagion effect of language. This was a concern for me on this website a decade ago, but that was all social pressure. There was no corporate mandate cracking down on people, making them type "st*pid" to get around restrictions. That was all moral peacocking, baby. People did that shit to themselves.

Tumblr nowadays feels more sane, just because those of us left after the porn ban got a couple of years to grow up and chill out. But because of the porn ban, we can only really talk about the effects of it and complain, rather than be able to post our smut openly. Human sexuality expresses itself in some genuinely weird ways; I should know, and you should probably donate to Archive of Our Own to make sure there's a space where these things can be expressed without fear of censorship to protect The Children. But "unalive" is a symptom of a much larger problem, which is to sand off all the edges of the internet to make it marketable; the free market is more than happy to cater to the whims of the CCCP if they think it can make them more money. There's a lot of people in China, after all. The internet has more people on it but they're confined to much smaller spaces. Children don't have their own spaces online, and when they do, they're not as carefully moderated, instead opting for either overworked humans overseas, or dumb robots that just filter certain words and just become an obstacle to maneuver around to tell something to kill themselves with the creativity of someone who's at a sixth-grade reading level. People in their 20's are uncomfortable with nudity and sex scenes in films, perhaps under the assumption that it's always exploitation, that these scenes can't have artistic merit and are solely there to titillate, and given the sort of dumbing down of art thanks to Marvel and Disney, this seems like the only natural result when combined with the trauma of finding things online that you shouldn't have at way too young of an age. I do not like where this is going, and it's really saying something that those brought up in a sex-negative, American puritanical mindset only start paying attention when the censorship is affecting how we talk about death, something we have absolutely no problem with glorifying in our culture.

And if you're wondering why I wrote yet another long-ass essay bemoaning the slow death of internet culture and the Weenie Hut Jr's-fication of younger generations, well, it's because of this screenshot from 4chan.

Now if only they could bully out the tradcaths.

[aita-blorbos]

Am I the butthole (sorry I don't like swearing) for forgiving and becoming friends with a woman that was a part of an invasion on my home?

I (10, M) defeated an invasion that was turned my home into something different. After I destroyed a giant crazy machine that went rogue, my home turned back to normal.

Some time after everything was said and done, I then made up with the woman (20s, F) that was a part of the invasion. I'll call her S here.

I thanked S for giving me a robot to stop that crazy machine. I then forgave her and wanted to become her friend. S accepted my invitation in becoming friends, and we've been friends since.

But when people found out that I reconciled with S, I've been criticized for it. Some people in my home planet hate her for what she did. The two people in particular that were the most vocal about it were my friend wearing a blue bandana (12, M) and my mentor figure (33, M), and I'll call the latter M. They told me that I'm being too forgiving and that I shouldn't have became friends with S.

The thing is, M was turned into a robot during the invasion, and S was involved in that. I didn't like it when it happened, but it's over with now. He's back to normal now. He shook it off really quickly in the end. But he's still very mad at S, and although I can understand that, he thinks I made a poor decision in forgiving S. He thinks that S doesn't deserve to be forgiven by me, and some other people in my home planet agree with him. They think I should revoke the forgiveness that I gave her, but I don't want to do that!

I'm not going to try to make M stop being mad at S, but I don't agree with the criticism he gives me. I want to keep my friendship with S.

S did tell me she'd want to apologize to M, but currently hesitates to actually do so because she doesn't want to risk getting a sword to the face. I'll see if I can help her apologize to M, even I feel like he won't forgive her, but I think it'd at least be worth a try to have him know that S doesn't intend to be a threat ever again.

I can't deny that S did do bad things, but it's been done with now. She's not doing those bad things anymore! She doesn't mean harm anymore. She and I get along just fine as friends now.

And S has told me about her past, which is really sad. Her relationship with her dad has been strained for a very long time, and sadly her dad is now dead. I feel really bad for S. I even gave her a hug because I really felt like she could use a hug! I think she deserves to have friends, because she didn't have any friends for a long time.

I think S really did deserve the forgiveness that I gave her because she's been through so much. That tragic story was what even led to the invasion happening in the first place. Things are resolved now, and she's not bad anymore. I'm not going to change my mind in being S's friend despite some people telling me that I shouldn't have forgiven her. I don't want her to be even more sad by unfriending her!

But thankfully, not everyone disagrees with me. I have a few other friends that actually agree with me! The two examples I'll mention are a spider wizard (22, M) and an alien cat wizard that owns a big blue ship (25, M). They also forgive S and became her friends, too!

Apparently what S did was "too far" and that's why some people still hate her, despite her not being bad anymore. But I think it's okay now! The damage done to my planet isn't really present anymore.

S did tell me she wants to revive her dad's company, but she won't have it be in the same direction it was. She said she'll change it into a better direction that involves consensually helping people. I don't see a problem with that! She even told me that she'd give me a robot to ride around in once she gets those made again, because I missed using them. It made happy to hear that!

I suppose there's no use in changing the minds of the people that still hate her, but I don't think I'm being "too" forgiving. I think she really did deserve my forgiveness and I'm not going to revoke it.

Do you think I was perfectly fine to forgive S and become her friend, or do you agree with some of the people in my home planet in that her bad actions were "too far" and that I was being too forgiving to her as they think I shouldn't have been? AITB?

[pyromaniacbibliophile]

Bricktober day 10- Trick or Treat

@lesmis-prompts

_______________________________

Diary Of Chaos, 1 AM, October 31st

It’s Halloween

I decided Trick

Not treat

Honestly what else did they expect

Why would anyone want treats 

When they could trick instead

The first was easy 

Fake spiders in Ep’s shoe

Followed by real spiders in her room

She’ll be fooled by the first ones 

And think the second lot are fake too

Then a copy of the Declaration of Independence in Enjolras’s room

With a note saying:

Saw this and thought of you

Xoxo

Your friendly neighbourhood thief

He’ll go ballistic and question everyone 

Until he realises that the original’s not actually missing

Then for Grantaire was simple

Replace all his wine with Ribena

And put water in his vodka bottle

Then pour wine in his Ribena

And vodka in his water

He’ll think he’s gone mad

Combeferre’s ink I swapped for melted licorice 

He writes with a quill pen of all things

Come morning he’ll find his quill stuck in an inkwell of licorice

Jehan got treats of course

He’s nice

So I gave him a bowl of sugared violets

Uncle Valjean bought them for me

Speaking of Uncle Valjean, I did his and Uncle Javert’s together

Simply put, I painted their front door red

And their back door black

That’s not a trick

You may think

But the thing is, they both leave through different doors every morning

In the dark

And their doors are unlocked from the inside

So they just walk at them

Only I taped the doors shut as well

And the paint won’t be dry by morning

So they’ll end up either red or black

For Cosette I… obtained lights that make things look black

And put them in her wardrobe

So she’ll think all her clothes are black

I considered dying them

But then remembered that she might actually kill me

So this was plan b

Marius’s was taken from something Enjolras said

I enlisted Chetta’s help with the technology

She works for some big tech company

So she got me the right stuff

Then I made a filter that makes people look like labradors

And, with a bit of building

Made his mirror basically a giant phone with only two settings

Labrador filter

And photos every three seconds

So when he looks in the mirror he’ll be a labrador

And it will take a photo of labrador-Marius 

That I can frame for Ep’s birthday present

Chetta’s, in honour of her assistance, wasn’t bad

I only put cracked screen stickers on all of her devices

Then carefully left them at odd angles

So she’ll think they’re cracked

For Joly I got Grantaire to draw a clown with fangs

Then I traced it onto the french windows in Joly, Bossuet and Chetta’s house

Using coloured paint pens

He might have a tiny fear of clowns

I couldn’t do Bossuet properly

because he helped me with my daring escape

Although I did leave him a fake snake

Attached to a spring

In his bedside drawer

I checked to make sure it was definitely his drawer

I wish I could watch his reaction

Luckily Feuilly and Bahorel have their own gym in their garage

Which made theirs easier

I unpicked their punch bag and filled it with rocks

Sewed it back up

Then re-labeled the heaviest weights they have

As the ones they usually use

So when they try and workout in the morning

They’ll think all their strength has gone

Courfeyrac was last

Seeing as he’s already short as hell

I took inspiration from Roald Dahl

And glued millimetres of wood

To the bottom of all his chairs and tables

Finally the finale

In my bedroom I balanced a bucket of water over the door

Left a note on my bed

Climbed out of the window

Got the bike Bahorel found me

Since I broke mine a few weeks ago cycling into a wall

And left with all speed

For Parnasse’s house

Where they’ll never find me

(P.S: The note read

Happy Halloween!

On this day some people wake up and choose treats

I chose tricks

Hope you all had fun ;)

Gavroche

xoxo)

[dyrewrites]

WiP Questionnaire

Brought to you by @theprissythumbelina (whose answers are far more interesting than mine)

I am tagging @starbuds-and-rosedust and @aziz-reads (because I don't think I've seen you guys do this one >.>)

--I have done this one for Before Deluca--

So I am answering with one of the others, that I need to get back to and revise for the tenth time, which is Weald and Wen

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

The characters have been around since I was about eleven or twelve, so let's say they're the first part.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Instead of my usual, "the sad pretty tree man" answer, I am giving you all of them. Because I do love all of them.

Delgrij, because he is a big, complex and tightly wound ball of sad.

Mitra, because she is a hard little ball of cheery insanity.

Faerai, because she is a tough ball of sad and angry with a gooey center of loneliness.

Parnamyr, because he is absolutely horrific and means every bit of awful he does but he loves as hard as he hurts.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

I have no idea, I never know with this question. What are fans? If I get a single one I will love them forever.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Finishing it to a publishable level. One might think the awful what happens in it (there is a lot) and that did hurt, and taught me things about myself, but no. The biggest struggle is considering it finished and ready to share with more than a handful of people.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

There are! Aside from the Fyrni, and the Auru, who are animal people of a type (and the Fyrni shadows which are very cat-like). There are critters about that get a little love, namely the olhm; which are essentially snails but more, more snail. Some are about cat-sized, and some are so big their shells are hollowed out so they can be used as transportation (do not fret, this is not painful for the olhm, they are quite happy being taxis).

There are also gnu, which are roughly dog-sized lizard-like things with two heads and no eyes and coated in poison. they are not nice, but maybe they could be if someone took the time to tame them. Skitters are another critter, but not so much an animal as a spider-like menace, they're roughly the size of an average human head, near-translucent in color and eyeless with big mandibles and too many super skinny legs. They are a bad thing to see large numbers, for where they gather mama isn't far behind and we don't want to meet mama.

But the best animal is Infae, who is a nuru. He is kind of like a bat, moth, cat...thing? He's albino, which is usual for the type of nuru he is (there are others but he's the only one with any attention paid to him). He is mostly blind, which is not usual for his species, but it is how he was born. He navigates using an impressive form of echolocation and his incredible sense of hearing and smell (he can smell emotions and intent and other things not important right now). Behavior-wise, he is a big sleepy boy who loves snuggles and maybe scares a bit too easy.

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Mostly on foot, but towards they end they ride on a Mover, which is a giant olhm that slimes down the face of the massive rock the forests the story takes place in grow from.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Waiting for beta feedback and trying to read it again on my own, to edit typos and whatnot.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

Maybe the found/forged family aspect? A lot of time is paid to the main characters and getting them together, so I would hope that.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP

That I can actually get it published and out there and at least one person buys it and enjoys it. As a side hope, that it breaks someone would be real fun...but I am a bit of a bastard so.

->blank below<-

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

[artastic-friend]

Writer anon back

If I did write some one shots

Would there be anything specific you'd want to see 👀

Sometimes I thrive on requests and I'd be happy to give you specific content if there's something you've wanted to see

God knows there's not enough DJMM content

Oh damn😳😳

I’ll be honest I’m a sucker for comfort fics. Like- something causes the reader pain or they are just really sad or upset but then DJ comes in and does his best to comfort them in any way he can! Maybe some tunes, or some pseudo-hugs with his hands or taking the reader around on a little ride, showing them around his tunnels or some areas the reader could never reach without being able to climb walls and ceilings like DJ.

Also love the idea of DJMM being a massive touch-starved cuddler😁

I like to imagine that he isn’t really allowed to touch or be touched by people due to being a “safety concern” however he does really enjoy physical affection and showing it too. So when he finds a person who ends up loving him and showing him that affection, he definitely shows it back! A lot!! Lots of holding and honestly- probably cat behavior from DJ with him rubbing his face up against them and yearning for hugs, pets and more.

The idea of DJ being very protective or just worried that the reader will get hurt also get me for some reason- the idea of him knowing that humans are these fragile little things and he worries about every little injury you get or just the possibility of you getting injured in some way.

I think some other stuff I’ve always wanted to see/see more of is like- fanfics where DJ’s mouth glow is utilized in some way- like- maybe as a comforting presence. Dude I would literally stare into that mouth of his if I could. I like to imagine his mouth has all sorts of patterns and light variations that dance and shift with the sound of the music he plays. Would be super nice in a more calm or relaxing moment of a fic.

Some other ideas I think could be fun are like- the reader being some random-ass guest that just sneaks into the plex and develops a relationship with DJ over time as they continue to sneak in every night until they get caught and DJ sorta defends them or gets them out of it. Or perhaps he has to hide them somewhere haha, idk. Perhaps the reader isn’t even a random guest but maybe they used to work there until they were fired idk-

Hmm- I haven’t really seen any fics of DJ and the reader outside of the Pizza Plex? Like maybe they were able to escape it or something? Or perhaps durring/after the events of Ruin the reader is able to fix DJ up and they gotta navigate life outside the comforts of the plex??

That last idea may be a bit harder though- having a giant robot spider like DJ would be really hard to maintain outside the plex if there is no way to make sure he can stay charged and prevent him from getting seen by too many people that may question the legalities of such a being roaming around the place.

Ooh I also love it when people mess around with more wacky ideas like AUs or making the reader non-human.

Like- if the reader was also a giant spider like DJ, and they could both cuddle one another with all their arms, no fear of accidentally crushing the reader since they are the same size

Oh or like- just the idea of DJ being able to feel small for once, idk why but that makes me so happy- like- he is used to being the big one around but then all of the sudden this other entity is introduced that’s maybe the same size or possibly bigger than him?? That’s crazy.

Honestly I am just happy for anything with DJ in it! Lots of little ideas, and things I like, but anything would make me happy wether the idea is something really small and simple, or something crazy and complex! 💖💕

[crow-caller]

@neovenatorgirlteeth​

Top fav/east fav pokemon designs in scarlet/violet.

Over more than an hour later this is more ‘crow comments on almost every new pokemon, oops’. I am passionate about cool designs... I didn’t mean to come for bogleech’s throne!

 Under spoiler tag because I was lucky to play without having been spoiled on ANY of them and I want to keep that experience, total spoilers ahead.....

I was so annoyed the cute grass kitty immediatly became bipedal, but I really do dig the whole line, even the last one. The base is SO cute I LOVE kitty and being a sort of bandit and then a magician is cool. Especially enjoy how the final form is bipedal but not THAT humanoid- it’s a neutral body rather than being uncomfortably curvy or gendered. Also as I look at it: final form kinda is a lot like how I draw my eye deers in terms of “fluffy pastel body, long skinny darker legs”

hate

I’m so sorry they did this to the duck. I’M SO SORRY. the duck was cute and then the middle is ugly and the final.... in battle usually the tail is extended and it’s obviously a ‘festivale’ thing, but it’s so unsettling. I hate how human it is, it’s dancing.... I hate this creature and for it to be a STARTER feels so unfair. who okay’d it.

I always loved dunspace as a kid playing gold silver, even tho it was useless. It was so mystifying looking and... odd. It was the pokemon that really most felt like a cryptic mystery of a being, you know? Like what the hell IS it? I’ve learned since it’s like... Tsuchinoko, maybe. But for it to FINALLY have an evolution that is almost entirely identical is really funny to me. Yep. That sure is just dunsparce. I mean. Dudunsparce. It’d have been cool for him to suddenly be a giant badass snake monster but this is better

Okay two off: TaROUNtula is adorbs and his evolution sucks. a little yarn ball spider with a kinda dopey face is really cute and then he turns into... way too dude shaped and really unappealing. He doesn’t look much like his pre-form and loses all the charm. A spider with a spindle it uses to make traps is great but why this??

Dolliv is super super cute. I love the many grass and bug pokemon that are just ‘cute girls’. I don’t like humanoid pokemon, but a lot of them are more stylised human than bordering on uncanny, and they look cute and fun. Dolliv works with her theme perfectly and is extremely cute. But man I was really REALLY happy to see Arboliva !! She’s funky and stylish in a different way. Sure, we could have another Tsureena line, where the end is basically a plant ginjinka gal, but while still hhumanoid Arboliva is way funkier. She usually is in a wreath shape too to better show off her design. I love her colour pallete too. She feels like something I’d make....

He..............

how can you not love this little face. His weird metal collar and his funky arms that he usually stows. Those eyes tho. He’s so cute and simple.

I wouldn’t normally like anything about this design. Like, it’s fine, but very very simple and  nothing screams pokemon about it. But extra shoutout: they are VERY funny. The names are both great (Maushold is one of the few times I sensibly chuckle at a pun name) and the fact they almost always evolve when you’re not looking- and their evolution is having children- is great. I was worried it was a glitch but I hope (and believe) it’s on purpose. You one day look and OH SHIT! THEY HAD CHILDREN. I thought I’d gone insane for a moment and missed it, 10/10 experience I carried this couple in my bag and they gave birth without telling me

I know birds are... hard. because they’re birds. But what is WRONg with the birds this gen? I don’t despise any of them, but they’re the most Bird Birds I’ve ever seen. The flamingo is litterally a flamingo full stop. The stork is mostly a stork, the weird flesh sack it carries creeps me out and without it it’s. Just A Stork?! Wattrel as a seabird is Fine as a first evolution, but it’s evolve really bores me. And Squawkabilly is a nice pun and most pokemon looking, but still very plain. He has four plumages and yet who will care? He also so clearly needs an evolution to lean harder on the theme.

Hehe........ crab. I love giant enemy crab. He’s very charming. Eeriely robotic. The idea of him as an ambush predator is cool, I wish in game he actually WOULD blend in and strike you!

I didn’t like the first evo at all but he’s here for context, because once I evolved him I was enamoured. Just like minecraft......... but really, a blocky, salt construct is cool. I love his colours on the evo while the middle stage looks like a sweet little dude.

his mini pic isn’t the best, so here’s him better. Not normally my type of poke at ALL but she’s just really charming to me. Big blocks. Love the sediment layer ombre.

His little image isn’t very clear. This rock/poison flower.... what is he? A crystal that looks like a flower but isn’t. I really don’t know what is the inspiration beyond just ‘crystal-ish flower’, but he looks both very futuristic and like some prehistoric plant! The strange little eyes and the transparent cone at the front add to the mystery.

I don’t think I LIKE Shroodle but it’s hard to hate those empty eyes. I raised one for ages because I HAD to know what he was. A crocodile of some sort was my bet. Apparently it’s a ‘mouse’ which is then more confusing when it turns into a monkey. I think on reflection he might be designed on a spray paint can... his evo is a grafiti monkey, and he has a long shiny body with a black cap, with a tuft of paintbrush like hair! but he’s def not a monkey.

Grafaiai tho is a very cool design. I hate monkeys and apes but a lemur can stay, it has a cool design and colors and I really enjoy the wide glossy eyes.

this one was just an insant win for most everyone. Bread dog! And then he gets BAKED! he’s really cute and I definitely called he’d be a dash-bun before he evolved

This old ass dog....... it’s not just that he has a very endearing story role but that helps. He’s nothing really too special, but he has such sweet eyes and really captures the feeling of a fking old ass dog....... like this is a dog that was MADE to lay on the living room floor for hours and grumble in his sleep!!

I hate gimmighoul!!!!!! AAA!!! No, seriously, what is up with this guy? Without the chest it looks like... a sentai...? I’ve never been a fan in gen of power rangers or super sentai designs anyways but it’s my best guess for what this bastard is. The base version vaguely also makes me think cockroach, but sadly needs to be 300% more cockroach. The chest version would be fun- pokemon has mimics but not the classic treasure chest!- except... he keeps poking his stupid head out, which doesn’t at all bring to mind a mimic! The chest form is indeed just the bastard in a box, no unique changes.

THEN THE EVOLUTION.... who the hell is this roadside used car lot advertising man and why does he make me look for so many of his stupid children to earn the right to hate him? This design is so confusing for me. What is he? Bad. His pokedex entry tells me he’s 1000 stacked coins but looks more like a bullet.

god he does resemble like a 90s ad campaign to appeal to the youth and get them to stop smoking huh. But really, for the amount of annoying effort and time it takes to get him, he is not worth it at all. Horrendous thing. Stupid thing. AAA. aaa.

Seriously, I never liked gimmeghoul but I definitely imagined a fitting final form would be way bigger on the ‘treasure’ theme. He has a chest form and you collect coins- imagine if he was a riff on a treasure hoard instead! A long serpant busting through a treasure box covered in coins, a mimic who hides as a great hoard barely poking out, a centipede with coins as armor....

Okay, I played violet, so the past pokemon I didn’t get to see. On beating the main story I decided to look finally at the full dex so I could see all the version exclusives. I quite enjoy them, and while I liked violet’s designs old pokemon exclusives/legend more the ancient pokemon are nicer than the robots.. because the robots gimmick is continously the same ‘a pokemon but robot’.

This jigglypuff is very funny to me. She’s kinda just a joke of ‘cute jigglypuff but with little fangs’ but I can’t resist her charms.

Also^ I think pokemon doesn’t know how long ONE BILLION YEARS is.

Admittedly she’s a very plain riff on misdreveous, but I’ve always liked misdreaveous and she looks neat. I like her spikes, not sure why she has one green wing arm. It’s nice the pearl necklace evolved early imao

1. what is a PTEROSAUR in the context of pokemon???

2. how could this EVER look like a PTEROSAUR

Volcarona is such a lovely pretty moth, and this version is super cool. I love how they tweaked with her regular features and made her so similar but so new. It’s just a SUPER cool bug and I really really love her

they need to stop doing this to my boy

what is this

So salamance might be my fav pokemon ever by childhood bias: Ruby was a very dear game and I raised a salamance from a bagon up to level 100! Then I kept the same salamance and transferred him between games, up to Platinum. I love that weird, fat dragon.... he’s a popular pokemon, so has had a lot of extra forms, and they all suck

No, seriously!

Boy. baby boy.

evil.

Salamance is a brightly coloured (but teal and pale red not the godawful tones of his mega) fat dragon. I keep saying fat but someone has to remind Pokemon. He’s a big and solid boy, but mega evo takes away that (and his arms) and makes him this super tacky bizarre monstrocity. Now we have Roaring Moon....

What is this? The idea of a feathery funky salamance is great, I appreciate even it resembles the mega evolution since gimicks are lately just one generation then forgotten. But his body shape and colors are so odd and messy. He looks really thrown together with a few basic good ideas that are completely not working!

TREAT SALAMANCE BETTER

I have really no strong feelings on the robot pokemon, meanwhile. They... look cool enough, ish. They’re robots that look like other pokemon. The designs really don’t do anything crazy interesting though, even tho they make changes it’s nothing radical. I only put Iron Hands here because I want you to know in a lore book you can find, it’s said Iron Hands is maybe a cyborg, not a pokemon, and might have a living person in there somehow. That weirds me out.

I definitely do wish the techno future pokemon did more though! Instead of just being ‘robot very similar to other pokemon’, it feels we’re missing out on ‘more evolved’ versions of pokemon or robot-flesh mixes.  My immediate pitch for a more evolved (in IRL biology) pokemon from the future? An extremely fierce magicarp that has finally become strong! Or a bagon that has skipped needing to be salamance and has adapted wings of its own! There’s so much potential to look at odd pokemon and imagine how they might adapt over years of natural evolution. You also could do robo-flesh hybrids as said, where I have no exact ideas but something like... A combee that has adapted to work with nanorobots in a swarm? Hell, put magicarp in a mechasuit and say in the future magicarp has learned to psychically build mecha suits. Why not.

okay, she’s pretty cool tho. I def like to see gardevoir/gallade fusion one, who def makes the most bold changes to the design too (well, I guess iron treads is nothing like donaphan REALLY, but...). Haters gonna hate her nonbinary girl swag. Glad to see in the far future we’ve finally ended gender. Etc etc.

The ruinous legends are super, super cool designs. All of them are some of the TOP creature designs I’ve seen in ages tbh. I haven’t gotten in game to unlocking them or looked if they have lore (I hope there’s a lot of lore, mysterious ruinous beads sealed by ominous swords and giant doors is sick but I want more). Each is based on a cursed object that is so full of a negative emotion it has become tied to a pokemon and sealed away. GREAT STUFF.

Anyways, love this totemic beast and the big ancient cracked blood sacrifice bowl on their head. And yes, it’s totally a blood sacrifice pokemon: it’s linked to fear, as the bowl was said to have been used in ancient rituals and evoked such strong fear it became a horrible creature.

This guy minus the sword would fit in pretty well as a regular pokemon, admittedly. I find her colours really pleasing. The sword adds a bit more of that ‘legendary’ flair but does look a bit awkward impaled like that. But no, I really enjoy him.

OMG OMG OMG! AAA!!!! LOOK!!!!!

I am not a slug person (I am actually terrified of slugs irl) but. I loveeee this design. It’s clever (look at the both eyestalks and the false lead face) and extremely themeatic, with a great colour pallette. This thing screams spooky nature spirit in every way.

Though my least fav I felt I should throw in all four special legends. Plus, nothing about them is bad. I find the eyes rather awkward but they do invoke a bulged eyed goldfish. All four legends are based on cursed objects, so this feels like an okay way to add the beads to the fish... but not my fav. I do enjoy tho his patterns on his body. They’re just very stylish.

The box legends... are okay in their battle forms. I didn’t expect to really like them, but the writing is good and I really loved my robot motorcycle dragon by the end.

they’re far more appealing and charming to me in their ‘low power’ mode, which is what they are for most of the game. It’s nice to go ‘oho! badass battle time!’ but, meh. The more animal funky little guy form who loves sandwiches is better.

She’s a bit funny looking but really nice. She’s a cute little... something. I again am fine with human shaped pokemon when they’re still monsters, not people, not overly sexy people. Her middle stage is really cute to me as a sort of little knight, and then her last stage gives her adorable hair and a giant hammer. Classic design trope, but I love it! She’s cute and small but extremely strong and fun. I enjoy that her pokedex entry tells us she’s a BANDIT, not a blacksmith-knight.

The version exclusive branching knight evolve really feels like it should have been in sword shield, huh? But even tho it’s not normally the type I like... I am not immune to cool cursed knight with violet flames. he’s edgy and cool and fun, and I think perfectly balances between simplicity and very detailed-  his design doesn’t look cluttered to me at all despite how complex it is!

hehe toadscool

I was so psyched to see him on my radar and go ‘is that a fckin tentacool with two silly legs’ and it was. These guys really as just fun to watch move. Toescruel hops! I’m not sure there’s much that exciting about them, but that’s okay. They’re simply and funny

god..... he’s perfect.................................................................

honestly, I was never a wooper fan and I’m still not, but this one is 100%  better than quaqsire. he’s better than most things.

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sorry i wound up talking about like all of them. I really like most of them, even the ones I skipped