#I AM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND
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The Black Parade died six thousand two hundred forty six days ago. I Think I Am Going To Explode.
#I AM GOING TO LOSE MY FUCKING MIND#THE EFFORT AND THR THOUGHT PUT INTO THIS#IM SO FUCKING EXCITED#NO MORE DIGITAL MINIMALISM MY CHEM HAS DRAGGED ME BACK TO THE HELL SITE AND IM HAPPY TO BE HOME#my chem#long live the black parade tour#the black parade#mcr 2025#my chemical romance
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HOW ARE YOU IN A PHD PROGRAM AND YOU STILL CANT DO GROUP PROJECTS!!! HOW AM I 24 IN GRADUATE SCHOOL AND I AM STILL THE ONLY PERSON IN A ROOM CAPABLE OF READING AND UNDERSTANDING DIRECTIONS, LEADING A GROUP, AND MANAGING DEADLINES!!!! FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE… COULD I PLEASE NOT HAVE TO MICROMANAGE MY PEERS!!!! HOW DOES EVERYONE LIVE THIS WAY!!!!! WHY IS EVERYONE FINE NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO LEAD!!!! STOP MAKING ME!!!! <- guy who has once again done all the work and arranged all meetings because the group members did not follow instructions for their individual assignments, turned in incorrect work directly before deadline, and are unable to utilize the basic tools required to even submit the assignment
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Finally Kicking the bucket and figuring out how to draw vaguely titillating stuff
#my art#sketch#I am going to lose my fucking mind#Semi-Truck of quicker than a background#wip#if I am drawing anything ''sexy'' it CANNOT have a face
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#i am going to lose my fucking mind#there is absolutely no one in the world doing it like jim legxacy
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@augustinewrites
An old trend 🍑🍆
#iwaizumi#art: hq!!#i am going to lose my fucking mind#hoooooly shit#HOOOOOOLY SHIT#holfycking shir#i cant fucking#oh my god oh my god oh mygod#MELTDOWN#art#the b- the b-- CANT LOOK#fuck fuckf uckf cufkcuf cufcikcfuc#bruv im gone
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me: hey if you keep pushing me on this thing you will likely just piss me off more btw. Just leave me be and all will be fine!
them: okay! I understand that :)
them: *pushes me on the thing* *pushes me on the thing* pushes me on the thing*
them: ugh omg why are you being so unreasonable about this
me:
#i am going to lose My Fucking Mind#''if i sense even a HINT of incorrigiblity the deal is off'' if our deal is off I'm castrating him for fun. not even bc i hate him enough to#JUST bc you're trying to fucking hold this over me. i don't have to get over ir forgive SHIT. YOU are the one assuming the worst of me. +#+ YOU are the one who came GROVELING trying to buy my compliance for things I already knew were out of my control. I was literally just +#+fuckin chillin dude.#txt#this next week is about to be a true test of my fucking limits. gods i need more weed
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.#other writing#trying to get this to show up in my other writing tag is going to kill me...
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it is almost 12:20 AM and i am still at fucking work.
#holy fuck#i am going to lose my FUCKING MIND#screaming and throwing things#this shit is making me homicidal
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kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to
#my posts#my aftg posts#aftg#kevin day#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#kevneil#we've talked about their relationship so much recently#but im in the middle of making anothre post#and i just remembered him calling wymack!!!!!! to check on neil!!!!!!!!!#and before that telling neil not to go bc he knows what riko will do to him#and 'jean will help you if you help him'#and oh my fucking god i am crying losing my mind dying#I LOVE HIM#I LOVE THEM
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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THIS MOTHERFUCKER HANDED ME. A SHEET OF PRINTER PAPER. AND SAID THATS YOUR PARKING PASS. WHERE THE FUCK AM I
#i’ve posted about this on every social media i have at this point because what do you MEAN#A SHEET OF A4 PRINTER PAPER WITH ‘PARKING PASS’ PRINTED ON IT. THAT IS WHAT I PAYED YOU ONE HUNDRED UNITED STATES DOLLARS FOR#THIS SCHOOL IS SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR#I AM GOING TO FUCKING LOSE MY MIND#personal
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some stories are written precisely to elicit strong emotions from the reader INCLUDING negative ones. some stories and characters are meant to be upsetting, they are meant to challenge you and make you uncomfortable!! when a story makes you feel Big Feelings sometimes you are meant to sit in those feelings and ask yourself why! fiction is a great space to explore these emotions in a safe environment. you, as the reader, are meant to think critically about the art you are enjoying and that includes asking yourself questions like why has the author presented their art in this way and what are they trying to tell me. and then you get to have fun picking it apart and figuring it out and deciding what, exactly, the art means to you.
#this post has been in my drafts since SEPTEMBER and it just gets more and more relevant lately#and sure sometimes we decide in the end that the art is bad and that we don't like it. that's fine. i'm not arguing anyone's right#to dislike certain things. it's fine!!! but why are you acting like it's a personal offense??? what's going on??#like idk what is in the water these days that people have become so averse to Storytelling#the whole POINT is to make you FEEL SOMETHING!!!#why are you getting mad at artists for making you feel something!!!!#between some of the asks i and other authors get to the recent stuff with mouthwashing and epic saga and fucking nosferatu#NOSFERATU. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY???#i really feel like i am losing my mind. i keep thinking of that 'disco elysium but its a little girl looking for her lost cat in the alps'#tweet. like this is really where we're at. people would rather feel Nothing. no one wants to be challenged#no one wants to explore Themes or read social commentary anymore it's so dire#let's all just go read our bland cozy fantasy story with found family and No conflict & nothing interesting to say at all#i'm sure we'll all be safe there#fuck!!!#also this isnt aimed at that anon i got a few days ago this is just like. a general trend i have noticed that is happening Everywhere rn
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hollow
#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#tgaa#dgs#kazuma asogi#asogi kazuma#asougi kazuma#kazuma asougi#evangenny art#'lucien these colors look awful' i don't fucking care anymore#this shit sat in my folder for almost 9 months now i want it FINISHED and GONE and OUT OF MY SIGHT#tbh i didn't initially plan to make this Very Red it just. kinda happened#it's 2 am i should go sleep before i lose my mind
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so i'm going to go fucking insane because for a while this aspect of malenia's character design has been bothering me and making me think I'm seeing things and going fucking crazy.
the aspect in question is malenia's left arm:
when i first saw malenia's arm my first thought was oh okay they're probably just bandages or some sort of wraps.
but then you look a bit closer and like
idk about you (because i might be losing it) but it seems like the mesh of whatever the fuck that is very clearly melded with her skin in a way/it looks like it's going into and then emerging out of her skin (which is HORRIFYING to think of I won't lie).
and once again i thought i was going crazy and seeing things because surely these were just meant to be wraps or bandages like the ones we see in the scene of her fighting radahn right?
and then the thought of the needle came to my mind. along with something malenia says in her cutscene before we fight her.
"my flesh was dull gold"
huh. now isn't that interesting.
this would imply that in order to stall the rot from consuming his sister, miquella made a plan to sew unalloyed gold into malenia's skin using his needle in a last-ditch attempt to save her arm.
(granted it's funnier to imagine he just sticks it in her arm and goes okay great all done! and that's probably the canon way it went but)
the thought of the sheer pain malenia must've gone through during this process, to be honest, and the thought of the guilt miquella must've felt at having to force his sister to endure even more agony just to help her is just sad.
and all of it is done just in an attempt to salvage what they can of her and hope that more can't be taken.
edit: btw when looking at malenia pre-bloom and pre-losing her needle it looks like there's a proper layer/cover/whatever it is around her arm up till her knuckles making it seem like an actual covering or layer on top of her skin and what not, but when we fight her post-bloom and post-losing needle it appears like some of the layers have either flaked or fallen away and that reveals that it's actually meshed with/into her skin.
#elden ring#im going to sleep now#i think i will be losing it#if i stay awake any longer#because what the fuck is this#what am i supposed to do with this#it's not even canon and im losing my mind over possible implications#because can you imagine#miquella having to literally stitch his sister's rotting skin back together using unalloyed gold#he is scared and desperate and he doesn't know what else to do or how else to possibly help#and malenia is in so much PAIN#but she loves her brother and trusts in what he's doing and so she endures#god i love all their character designs but hers is just INSANE#malenia blade of miquella#miquella the unalloyed#miquella#malenia#okay BUT#the comedy of miquella being like “hey malenia look over there!”#and just sticking the needle into her arm when she's not looking is great#also miquella using his sister as his home ec project#like wow he's practicing sewing using his sister good for him#i'm sorry don't take this seriously i'm losing my mind
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wait wait wait, so we had: a gorgeously diverse, complicated story about the folly of the Jedi, set against the backdrop of truly fascinating Force witch lore and a potential deep-dive into the real fallout of suppressing emotion, complete with totally rad lightsaber fights, grayscale characters all around, and the coolest fucking helmet in the history of the franchise, all tucked into the world of Star Wars, which makes money simply by existing--and they cancelled it?? i am going to explode
#star wars#the acolyte#the acolyte spoilers#genuinely this is the most interesting thing they've done in this universe in YEARS#and yeah yeah there was the moment at the beginning where they for some reason decided there could be Fire in Space#but are you KIDDING me?? are you KIDDING#jacinto in this show is what kylo stans have been dreaming about for AGES#the twins are fucking FASCINATING#just the scene of a possessed wookie with a lightsaber alone should have yeeted this into the archives of Coolest Shit Ever#and you fucking wasted it?? you cancelled it?? are you out of your goddamn MIND disney???#a genuinely scary villain who somehow isn't the scariest thing about the show. complexity all around. lightsaber FISTFIGHTS.#i am going to lose my mind#i am so mad#you'd think i'd be used to this shit by now but come on dude
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me speeding to count stock as fast as possible to avoid taking radiation damage from my parents god-awful taste in television
are these Really the ugliest homes in america or is your personality just equivalent to a cheap, wet paper towel. are these Really the ugliest homes in america or do you take your home decor inspiration from psychiatric hospitals and white women on pinterest named Meykaighlahe
just say you hate art and go build your dream unseasoned microwave mashed potato of a house in fucking utah or something oh my gOD
#ms paint#dat me#art#life is paint#IF YOU DONT LIKE IT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MOVE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS#these shows make me homicidal fr#70% of the houses on that stupid fucking show are by majority legitimately so cool and beautiful dude i am losing my mind#''its a historic house but i dont want any of the history or aesthetic that goes with it'' i am going to dropkick you lady. to death.#getting my own place and literally banning the viewing of any HGTV show under my fucking roof#how are there so many old people with such GARBAGE fucking taste in interior design#y'all grew up in the 60s 70s and 80s and learned fucking Nothing ?????????? HELLO ???????????????
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