#I AM BACK FROM THE DEAD WOO!!
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dash-dash-archi · 2 years ago
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day 22 of hermit-a-day, may:
the one and only,
Ren Diggity Dog!!
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I haven’t seen his new videos yet, but I hope he’s doing well! ❀❀
close up(s) + mono color shot
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baepsays · 10 days ago
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Domesticity is a privilege, and privilege is attracted to Gojo Satoru.
Wait we might need to reiterate that. Because if privilege is attracted to Satoru, and being domestic with the love your life is a privilege — how come he hasn't attracted that wishful life yet!?
I mean he's already privileged (in capitalistic and aesthetic sense), he is hopelessly in love with you, so by default next outcome in this equation must be—you, him, and your cats, chilling in your bed. Just watching the rerun of your overwatched favourite show while the cats cuddle up to you two.
Now the only problem is despite being capitally and aesthetically blessed by default, the whole wooing the love of your life thing doesn't happen by staring at them from a distance while making up little scenarios in your head —how your first date would go, your first kiss, what if you met back in high school, meeting the parents, getting their blessings, getting married, and adopting two cats.
You might call him pathetic, but do not worry his friends do not shy away from voicing that fact out every two seconds. Because every two seconds he's letting out a big sigh and going "y/n would like that." or,
"y/n should try this."
"y/n"-
You get the gist of it. Really- thoughtful of him.
So this brings us here, THE Gojo Satoru sitting on the curb of the sidewalk infront of your building. With a bouquet in his hands, decked up in a three piece (probably Italian) custom suit, tie is tied rather not how a tie should be tied. But it works for him. Everything works for him.
Now do not take him for a creep! He's a gentleman of the highest stature. Gojo is actually waiting here for you for that date he secured with you after graciously asking you (practically begging you and with the help of Geto Suguru who made the dire mistake of introducing you to him in the first place).
"Satoru? What are you doing here?"
That is a valid question to have, to walk up to your building, exhausted after work and to see your date sitting outside your building, on the sidewalk nonetheless. Isn't he loaded? Where is his car even?
"Oh I was waiting for you! What are you doing out so late?" At this point he got up to stand face to face with you (took a lot of courage for him to do that!).
"I had to do overtime and, no, wait. Why are you waiting for me at 2 AM?
"Oh you know to pick you up for our date!"
"Satoru. That is tomorrow. I am supposed to see you at 4 PM tomorrow. Were you planning on to camp out here all night? where is your car??" (my concern as well)
"First of all- I got too excited and I couldn't sleep. sooooo-" he stretches it on, what's about to come next couldn't possibly be any better.
"So I thought I'd put on the suit I bought for our date! Then I thought hmm well now if I sleep in this it'll get creases and I won't have much time to get it ironed. Then I saw the flowers, I was growing to give you, sort of wilting away. And I couldn't possibly give you dead flowers for our first date! And I was waiting in my car, then it got towed away, and-"
"STOP."
What do you even do in this situation? Tell him to go home? How is he going to do that with practically no public transport working at this hour and his car gone. Even you barely caught the last train home. I mean any other individual would get weirded out, get angry, and upset. But you, well,
"How about instant ramen and a movie for a first date, on my couch?"
I suppose you are attracted to Gojo Satoru just as much as privilege is attracted to him. And oh what a privilege it is to be loved and to be wanted like that one soft blanket you just want to snuggle up into at the end of the day.
.
.
.
To check out more of my stuff click this.
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zooophagous · 10 months ago
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I see a post, that asks the question "you are now married to your phone background, how fucked are you?"
I close the app and look. When was the last time I considered my phone background? I can't even remember it.
On the screen before me is a purple wildflower, a bergamot, or "bee balm" plant, photographed in North Dakota in 2019 in a family member's back yard.
I am married to a bergamot. She is tall and shapely, moreso than myself, though her choice of purple raiments matched closely my own. She is my favorite color. Maybe that's how we met? Why I decided to woo her?
My wife the bergamot is a socialite. She has more friends than I. Every morning she gossips with a cabbage white butterfly, and cruelly shares their secrets with the rusty patched bumblebees, who compete for her affections with the domesticated aapis mellifera, which trail at her purple coattails like lapdogs.
Her favorite friend, however, is the ruby throated hummingbird. More insect than avian though it does contain a vertebral column, it iridesces like green beetle wings and in my heart I feel jealousy as my bergamot bride and the hummingbird kiss.
I sit with her for a season. Under the sun and the heat and the biting flies. She is covered in dewdrops and in spiders. I spare her from caterpillars and lavish my affections on her with a cup of water.
The world turns at last to its cool side, my bergamot changes her purple coat to her dusty toned night gown. She lies down to sleep and is buried beneath a bed of fresh snow come October.
Love so fleeting, marriage so brief, could I forget my bergamot and move on? Could my love be perennial and evergreen even when my beloved is not? It is winter and my bride is dead. How fucked am I?
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kniveschaudefender · 13 days ago
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KANG DAE-HO HEADCANONS !!
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hai !! very late happy new year guyz ! sorry for my absence,, school started up again and i got distracted once more. also take this post as me opening my requests to squid game and alice in borderland !! also sorry for any bad grammar it is 2 am and my glasses are NOT on😞😞 will b getting to my other requests soon !!
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he puts his hair up as a small remembrance of his sisters. it’s the only part of them he can hold on to while theyre gone with his father not there to say anything about it.
he has a hard time sleeping. most of the time his memories from the marines come back to him and he wakes up in a cold sweat. he eventually decided losing a couple hours of sleep was better than just dealing with it.
a little random one, but he’s definitely a tea guy. he believes coffee is too bitter. he’ll only drink it if it’s really drowned in sugar. he also drinks his tea with milk. thinks it tastes better and just likes milk in general, showing why he asked Sang-woo for his.
loves the rain but absolutely DESPISES thunder. remines him of his time in the marines and of his father. all he hears in the loud roar is the gunfire and the sound of his father yelling at him. will hide himself away and cover his ears with the most pressure possible during a storm.
i feel like his hairs a bit dead. not like crusting as ot looks well cared for, but it’s been bleached. having such an influence from his sisters i feel like at some point all 5 of them got highlights. his father yelled at him that day and insisted he took them out as they were ‘too femenine’ for him. never did anything with his hair after that.
is very protective over jun-hee as she reminded him of his eldest sister. he remembers when she was pregnant and how much of a pain it was and he wants her to have the least painful experience she can being in a place like this. he insists on making up for his ‘failure’ of protection of his sister during those times.
biggest hugger EVER. he absolutely loves giving hugs to anyone and everyone who will accept them. he’s a very physical affection type of guy. he’s not the best with his words most of the time so he preffers giving out hugs to prove he’s happy over something or someone !!
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OOF. SORRY IF THESE R KINDA BAD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME JUST BABBLING MY OWN HEADCANONS OUT WITHOUT A PROMPT. BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS MAN !!! PLSPLS LEAVE REQUESTS FOR HIM >___< PEACE !! :3
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pa1nrema1ns · 7 days ago
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In a Sea of Fire || Sung Jin-woo (Part 3 of 3)
  Siren!Jin-woo x Deaf!omega!reader
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A/N: Hello everyone! I'm so excited to finally bring you the conclusion to the siren AU trilogy. This is my first full-fledged fic, and it was a true labor of love. To mark this milestone, I commissioned this absolutely drop-dead gorgeous artwork of Jin-woo's siren form from the amazing @ekkurea. She is super kind and an incredible artist. I highly recommend checking out all her beautiful art and commissioning her.
I have been overwhelmed by the positive reception to this series and I am so grateful for all of you. I also want to personally thank my good friend and dedicated beta-reader @forbidden-sunlight for supporting me in the creation of this story. I could not have done it without her đŸ–€ As always, please pay heed to the content warnings listed below.
╰┈➀ Previous Chapters
🐚Prologue by @forbidden-sunlight 🐬Part 1: Master and Apprentice đŸ§œđŸ»â€â™€ïžPart 2: Two Intertwining Melodies
Content warnings: 18+MDNI, mutual pining, afab!reader, implied smut, a/b/o dynamics, heat cycles, mating bites, courting rituals, objectification of reader, obsessive thoughts, angst, possessiveness, violence, mythical creatures au, yandere!Jin-woo, mentions of corruption, derogatory & misogynistic language used by a side-character towards the reader, ooc!Jin-woo, mildly ambiguous ending.
Word count: 12k
Summary - Autumn approaches Jindo Island and with it flourishes new love. But lingering doubts and conflicting desires threaten to cast shadows over your romance with Jin-woo. Just what terrible secret was he hiding from you?
Header artwork created by @ekkurea exclusively for this series. Please do not repost, edit, or use for your own fics, headcanons, or drabbles.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics and @anitalenia
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At the heart of the shopping district on Jindo Island

For the first time in his life Sung Jin-woo found himself at a loss as to what to do.
The siren nervously runs a hand through his hair as he studies his appearance in the full-length mirror. His reflection looks back at him clothed in a partially unbuttoned dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up at the forearms and a pair of tapered trousers. It was a polished look that drew attention to his athletic frame and emphasized his stormy grey eyes.
Jin-woo chuckles when he notices Iron giving him a small thumbs up from the reservoir in his shadow. His soldiers were doing an excellent job of boosting his morale but the same could not be said for him. Jin-woo couldn’t help but remain somewhat self-critical.
The siren tended to gravitate towards darker clothing while disguised as a human. This was partly due to their resemblance to his actual color scheme. Of course, this meant the only options that interested Jin-woo were those in differing shades of black. While this allowed him to retain some semblance of his true self, he worried that black may be too drab of a color for your liking. He was also starting to feel very out of his element in this stuffy little fitting room.
To make matters more complicated the sales associate at this posh boutique was quite the chatterbox, an incompatible match for the introverted siren. The older man had been particularly insistent on helping Jin-woo find an outfit that would ‘knock his little lady’s socks off’ after he mentioned needing clothes for a date. His very first date to be precise.
With you.
Jin-woo was determined to make this a memorable experience for the both of you, and the first step involved picking out the appropriate attire.
Unfortunately shopping proved to be a far more tedious task than he thought. At least dungeon raids had the benefit of being relatively straightforward.
As he idles in front of the mirror a contemptuous voice lingers in his head jeering at him.   
“How much longer do you intend on playing human, Sung Jin-woo? This reckless relationship has consisted of nothing but lies and deceit on your part. Have you ever considered how your beloved omega might feel after discovering you’ve been misleading her? It’s only a matter of time before your house of cards comes tumbling down.”
It was like listening to a crude mockery of himself, tone, inflection, and delivery of speech the exact same as his.  
“In the end this farce will result in nothing more than heartache and tragedy and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
The malicious words hang heavy in the air like an omen. An unwanted reminder that beneath that thick veneer of invulnerability Jin-woo was indeed malleable.
“Just because Ashborn was accepted by his human lover doesn’t mean Y/N will do the same for you. That woman has no obligation to love a monster who preys upon her own kind.”
He grits his teeth at the intrusive thoughts bidding them to disappear. To grant him a moment’s respite from the terrifying possibilities of all that could go wrong.
It’s to no avail.
“Would she look at you the same way if she knew you weren’t human? If she knew a siren wanted to fuck her like some insatiable animal? You still have the taste of her in your mouth, don’t you? So soft, sweet, and willing for her alpha. Yet you refused to claim her right when she was in the palm of your hand. You pathetic coward.”  
A preternatural violet hue alights Jin-woo’s body, and his muscles draw taut. A sign that he is well and truly pissed. The entire room threatens to crumble under the suffocating pressure.
“Tell me, just how many times have you woken up in the middle of the night? Hard, desperate, and starving for her touch. You must’ve lost count by now.”
A low growl emits from his throat. “Shut up! Shut the hell up!”  He silently screams at the voice as it exposes his repressed sexual urges.
“What if she lashes out at you in anger? Do you really expect her to stay civil and calm after she finds out you’ve been lying to her this entire time?”
It was for her own good! I had to lie to protect her! Jin-woo finds himself mentally pleading with his internal monologue. Begging for it to understand the reasoning behind his deceptive actions.
This only incites it to twist the knife further.
“Why not just take her then? After all that’s what you’ve always done with every obstacle in your path, every thorn in your side. You destroy and take from it until there’s nothing left. And that woman will be no different, but this time it will be a triumph greater than any other once she’s yours to possess.”
Jin-woo couldn’t form a rebuttal at this point. He was livid and positively shaking with rage.
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For months he had been struggling with conflicting feelings for you. Every single aspect and idiosyncrasy about you resonated with his being. From your feistiness and fierce independence to your infectious smile and compassionate nature, Jin-woo was wholly and unconditionally in love with you.
He knew from the moment you took him into your arms on that desolate beach that you were a genuinely kind person with a good heart. Someone he’d want by his side for an eternity.
Perhaps one day you could even find it in yourself to love him the same way he loves you.
But another side of him, a primal side of him, sought nothing more than to devour you.
To corrupt you.
To desecrate you.
To free you from those worthless shackles of human morality

And shape you into a wanton goddess capable of handling his brand of darkness.
Not even sleep would grace him with the mercy of a reprieve; Jin-woo was often plagued by vivid dreams of you. Explicit images and sensations of fleshly pleasures that elicited the worst of his bestial nature. On more than one occasion he’d awaken to his knot swelling with need and a deep-seated longing for your warmth.
He knows he should be ashamed for fantasizing about such depravity, for perverting the friendship that had gradually cultivated between the two of you.
But he can’t bring himself to care.
Jin-woo would give just about anything if he could have you in the same way as his dreams.
And he can envision you perfectly.
Your shapely thighs wrapped around his narrow waist, urging him deeper inside you. A dazed expression on your pretty face as he thrusts into you with sheer, masculine drive. Honeyed moans spilling from your lips as he trails hot, open-mouthed kisses across your jaw, down your neck, and over your collarbones. Your supple breasts heaving with exertion when you finally topple over the edge with him. And your sated form pressed against the firm ridges of his body as he soothes you in the wake of your earth-shattering climax.
Jin-woo hisses and bites back a groan as he feels himself growing hard against the inseam of his trousers. Shit. He’s never wanted someone so badly in his entire life.
It was terrifying how easily you had him wrapped around your finger. You tempted him, left him on the brink of insanity, and you weren’t even aware of it.
How? Just how did it come to this? Meeting his comeuppance at the hands of a beautiful woman.
The siren was supposed to be a hardened warrior. An indomitable force born from the outcome of hundreds of harrowing battles. Time and time again Jin-woo overcame insurmountable odds and arose from the ashes. Ever stronger, ever colder. With Ashborn’s guidance he had rebuilt himself from the ground up and molded himself into a successor worthy of the title Shadow Monarch.
Jin-woo was not some naïve boy who believed he could woo you with flowery language and saccharine declarations of love. Nor was he some unruly beast whose restless soul could only be placated by carnal satisfaction. He was better than that, more disciplined and pragmatic

At least he believed himself to be –
“Hey, kid! Are you alright in there? You’ve been awfully quiet for a while now.”
The sound of the sales associate’s voice instantly breaks his train of thought.
“I’m fine, I was just mulling over all my options,” he responds evenly hoping to not draw attention to himself.
“No worries kid. Just let me know if you need anything.”
Once the man’s footsteps fade Jin-woo slumps into one of the chairs in the cramped room. He then lowers his face into his hands, too disgusted to look at himself any longer.
The minutes tick by but Jin-woo doesn’t budge from his spot.
“My liege! Please, I beg of you, stop tormenting yourself!” Beru, the newest of his shadow soldiers and the only one capable of speech attempts to talk some sense into his king.
“
” the siren doesn’t provide him with a response.
Beru continues, “My liege, I cannot bear to see you so despondent. My lady is not so cruel or callous that she would cast you aside merely for being a siren.”
“I am a monster Beru. Nothing will convince her otherwise once she knows the truth.” Jinwoo replies flatly.
“My liege please forgive my impertinence, but do you truly believe she thinks so little of you? I’ve seen the way she looks at you and there is nothing but adoration in her eyes. My lady will not forsake you regardless of who or what you are.”
Jin-woo gasps at the sincerity of Beru’s words. The shadow had been more perceptive than he initially thought. He feels the beginnings of a smile form on his lips.
“You’ve been acting surprisingly obstinate today Beru. What’s gotten into you?”
The ant almost immediately bursts into a fit of tears causing Jin-woo to regret his choice of words. The weeping shadow then prostrates himself before his king.
“My liege I am so sorry! I only meant to –”
“Thank you Beru. I really needed your pep talk. My mind feels much clearer now.” Jin-woo interrupts before the ant can misinterpret him. Beru sheepishly raises his head, feelings of shame now overtaken by pride.
“I won’t falter again. You have my word, all of you do.” He addresses his entire army this time.
 A collective sigh of relief spreads throughout his soldiers. Because their souls were inextricably tied to their king’s every emotion Jin-woo experienced was shared firsthand with his shadows. They felt his happiness, his sadness, his anger.
And his desire for you.
It must’ve pained them greatly to see him in such a distressed state prompting Beru to act. His loyal soldiers needed a strong and centered king to guide them.
He would not submit so easily to despair again.
Jin-woo glances at his wristwatch; it was a quarter past one o’clock. He had three more hours to spare until your agreed meeting time at four. The siren really needed to get a move on if he had any hope of being prepared for the date. And to think that he had balked at human decorum before you stepped into his life

He changes back into his street clothes and folds his chosen outfit into a neat pile. Before stepping out Jin-woo reaches into his inventory to examine his final courtship gift to you, a lustrous necklace composed of teardrop shaped mana crystals and pearls he harvested from his latest dungeon raid.
He spent hours meticulously crafting the jewelry by hand, working feverishly to ensure it was flawless. A one-of-a-kind item that no one else could hope to replicate or exceed. Still as he thumbed the necklace in his hand, he couldn’t help but replay those twisted words spoken by the disembodied voice.
Why not just take her then?
He tightens his grip on the necklace before hurriedly stowing it away in his hidden inventory. Next to it the Holy Water of Life lay untouched, burning a hole in his pocket.
The ball may have been in his court, but you would have the final say.
He'd make sure of it.
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A sense of anticipation pervades the air as glowing neon lights come into view. You stop just shy of the entrance to a large commercial building, the chosen location for your date with Jin-woo.
A quick glance at your phone tells you that it’s a quarter till four. You still had another fifteen minutes to go. Ever the punctual one you always sought to arrive well ahead of schedule. This applied to your personal life as well.
From the corner of your eye, you think you see a deliberate movement in your shadow, one that does not match your own. You blink. Once, then twice. When you stare at the sidewalk again your shadow is as it should be, nothing but an intangible effigy bound to the push and pull of your own will. Weird, you think, had it been a trick of light? Your eyes then wander back to the front of the establishment.
Despite being the middle of the day, the bookstore’s sign remained lit by garish hues of yellow. You recall how many of the locals disapproved of the business when it first opened. To those who spent much of their lives in this quaint region of the Korean archipelago it was yet another ploy of gentrification from the mainland. To you, this bookstore served as a haven during your formative years. You spent countless hours getting lost in the worlds of your favorite authors here.
From the provocative narratives of Anne Rice to the gritty prose of Stephen King, your love for reading was fostered here. It only made sense to share this special part of yourself with Jin-woo, the beguiling alpha who was starting to consume your every waking thought.
As time draws nearer to your date you ponder over your last few months on the island.
The filming of ‘Murder on the Cerulean Sea’ wrapped up earlier this week and your colleagues were clamoring for a congratulatory celebration, something you wanted no part of. From personal experience you knew a constantly flowing stream of alcohol did not pair well with a room full of self-serving narcissists. You also hadn’t forgotten how rude the other make-up artists and stagehands had been to you on set. The fact that your date fell on the same day as the party was just the cherry on top.
Which brings you back to your dilemma, figuring out where you stand in your relationship with Jin-woo.
Throughout the entire twelve weeks of filming, you were both meeting in secrecy. Devoting this time to strengthening your bond tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘte.
You learned much about Jin-woo and he about you, but you could tell he was harboring some kind of secret. Every time the topic of his personal background came up, he would steer the conversation in a different direction. In addition to this there was an ever-piling list of excuses for why he couldn’t divulge more about himself. This had you second guessing everything he was willing to share.
You really liked Jin-woo and you had no doubt he returned your feelings but you were also becoming highly suspicious of him. If you could wear your heart on your sleeve around him then why couldn’t he do the same for you?
Guilt was eating away at your conscience for even entertaining these thoughts. It’s through this haze of turmoil that your mind wanders to the more lighthearted moments between the two of you.
You think of the all the times he joined you on your early morning treks along the beach. Both as a companion and a protector. You had teased Jin-woo about it initially asking if he intended to use his ‘scary dog privilege’ to ward off other alphas. He scoffed at this suggestion clearly nonplussed by the comparison.
Yet despite your cheeky attitude you had readily taken up his offer. Your friends’ schedules often conflicted with yours, which meant they were usually working on the days you had off. What began as a nice change of pace from walking alone transformed into a cherished part of your routine. His warm, calloused fingers interlaced with yours as dusk bled into dawn.
There was also Jin-woo’s determination to communicate with you. Unsatisfied with written words alone, he had taken it upon himself to learn sign language. Jin-woo showed up one day with a step-by-step instruction manual containing illustrations. A cute shade of vermillion dusted his cheeks when he showed the book to you. You grinned from ear-to-ear and readily agreed to teach him.
He ended up being more adept at sign language than Cha and Jinho. By the end of your first session, Jin-woo was able to grasp several simple terms and phrases, a feat that greatly impressed you. Now he was bordering on being fluent. It was astonishing just how quickly he progressed.
And then there were his many gifts to you.
First a glory-of-the-seas cone in sumptuous tones of burnt ochre and golden brown. Then a bluefin tuna, a much sought-after and rare delicacy, captured fresh from the brine. And most recently, a natural South Sea pearl that appeared almost otherworldly in its splendor. Each offering a unique and thoughtful portrayal of his devotion.
The ritualism and intimacy of these gestures was not lost on you, and it left your heart racing. No one, save for director Jinchul, was ever this attentive towards you. And the latter had only done so on a professional basis. But Jin-woo treated you with a tender affection usually reserved for lovers. A title that was not either of yours to take. Not yet at least.
But both of you were well on the way to getting there.
Everything came to a turning point three days ago when your enigmatic friend finally worked up the courage to ask you out. You remember the bashful look on his face and the endearing image of his rosy cheeks. No sooner had Jin-woo finished signing his question than you found yourself excitedly leaping into his arms. At last, at long last you were both taking the next step in your relationship. So overcome with joy you completely overlooked all your unanswered questions and concerns about him. Nothing else had mattered at that moment.
Jin-woo effortlessly caught you and brought you into a twirling hug. You felt laughter bubble up from within you. It was as if a massive weight had been taken off your shoulders.
Just a few months ago you had been virtual strangers completely inconsequential to one other. Now you embraced as two intertwining melodies coalescing into one song.
When Jin-woo placed you back on your feet he had one more favor to ask. You watched intently as he brought both hands towards his face and formed them into half circles. He then placed the tips of his fingers together before puckering his lips. It was the sign for kissing. He wanted to kiss you.
You froze stunned by the unexpected request.
Apprehension painted Jin-woo’s handsome face. He was waiting, imploring you for an answer. Without missing a beat, you brought yourself closer to him. You didn’t stop until you were in such proximity your breath intermingled with his. You lifted your head and locked eyes with Jin-woo before lowering your gaze to admire his parted lips. After a flicker of hesitation, Jin-woo closed the gap between you and captured your lips with his.
Your eyes fluttered shut.
Gentle. It had been such a gentle kiss at the beginning; petal soft and languid. However, there was a palpable shift in mood the instant Jin-woo ceased his rhythmical movements to slip his tongue inside your mouth. He slid it across your teeth, coaxing you to open more of yourself to him. And you willingly surrendered, moaning into his mouth and allowing him to stroke his tongue against yours.
Jin-woo’s kiss soon devolved into a scorching clash of teeth and tongue that left you breathless. The last of his restraints snapped and he was not holding back. He fisted a hand in your hair and tilted your face at a better angle so he could deepen the kiss. He then circled your waist with his other arm pulling your pliant figure flush against him. This prompted you to grasp onto the front of Jin-woo’s shirt for purchase, pressing your breasts into his chest. You were so close to Jin-woo that you could feel the vitality of his rapidly beating heart. He nipped at your lips before parting from them to mouth at your jaw, the curve of your neck, and the cleavage exposed by your tank top.
You shivered though from fear or want you did not know. This was an animalistic side of him you had never seen or experienced before. It was electrifying.
Your breath caught in your throat when you felt one of Jin-woo’s incisors graze over the junction of your neck and shoulder, threatening to break skin.
And then, just as quickly as this act of madness had started, it came to an abrupt and sudden end. Jin-woo’s eyes regained their focus and his ministrations stopped at once. He slowly raised his head from the crook of your neck and turned to look at you. A heart wrenching expression of guilt distorted his face.
He had lost control of himself and succumbed to his baser instincts.
And if he had bitten down on you back there, he would’ve marked you as his mate for life. Because that area on your neck contained some of your scent glands.
An alpha will bite an omega’s scent glands while mating with them to stake their claim. This also mixes the alpha’s and omega’s scents together securing their bond. It was an irreversible process and Jin-woo came within an inch of forcing it upon you.
He released you from his grip and took several steps back, placing him some distance from you. Wisps of ebony hair obscured his eyes, making his face difficult to read.
You ran towards Jin-woo attempting to grab his hand, yet he pulled his arm away from your touch. But your resolve was strong, and you refused to give up. After a few more tries, Jin-woo finally acquiesced and let you come near him.
As soon as the two of you were face to face, you leant forward and cradled his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eye. The guilt was gone but now it had been replaced by fear. Fear of what he had almost done to you.
You were having none of it. Nothing about Sung Jin-woo scared you, not in the past and most certainly not now.
You dropped your hands, letting them fall to the side before raising them again. Then you began signing to Jin-woo, doing everything in your power to reassure him. You let him know that you were alright, you weren’t afraid of him in the slightest, and that both of you would be okay. What happened earlier was purely instinctual and would not draw a wedge between you. And most importantly you told him that you had absolutely no regrets about the kiss.
‘I wanted to kiss you,’ you signed, ‘I’ve been thinking about you as more than just a friend for a while now.’
‘So please, Jin-woo,’ you pleaded with him as your hands shook ‘let’s give this a shot. I want to be with you.’
He exhaled sharply before taking your smaller hands into his own. You really were his greatest weakness. He couldn’t resist you even if he tried.
You eventually managed to convince him to move forward with the date. The time and location were arranged shortly thereafter, although on slightly awkward terms given the circumstance.
Later that night while you were tucked away in the privacy of your bedroom, there was an unrelenting heat building between your thighs. The type of heat that set your nerves on fire and left you aching for release.
You hadn’t taken your heat suppressants in a while, and your body was paying a heavy price for it. You should’ve known better than to let yourself fall by the wayside, but you no longer cared about taking your medication anymore. It was like you were daring your heat to come, to wash over you and rid you of your inhibitions.
When the flames of your desire became unbearable, you slipped a hand underneath the waistband of your pajamas hoping it would slake your lust. However, as you stroked yourself to completion you couldn’t help but imagine it was Jin-woo’s deft fingers that were caressing your slick folds instead.
In the corner of your room an unknown presence watched you with rapt interest. It greedily drank in your sinful actions, the dips and curves of your body, the steady rise and fall of your chest. And as you reached your peak tendrils of shadow danced across your skin like silk.
After you fell asleep a lone hand emerged from the darkness and gently ran its knuckles over your cheek

“ – !?”
You’re startled from daydreaming when the familiar scent of lavender and sandalwood perfumes the air. It was the tell-tale sign that Jin-woo had just arrived. You check your phone again and are shocked to see it’s already a minute past four. You totally lost track of time while standing outside the bookstore! Embarrassed, you turn and are greeted by the sight of your alpha.
He looked incredible, like a god amongst men. You loved the color black on Jin-woo, it brought out his sharp features and contrasted wonderfully with his fair complexion. The outfit he was wearing for your date exemplified this. His dark trousers and dress shirt were perfectly molded to his body creating a sleek and streamlined appearance. You slowly dragged your eyes across the hard planes of muscle bulging underneath the tight fabric. When you reach Jin-woo’s face there’s an amused glint in his eyes. Oh crap! He noticed you were ogling him. Heat blossoms across your cheeks and you self-consciously tug at the hemline of your cable knit sweater.  
Unbeknownst to you Jin-woo had also been eyeing you up albeit in a far more discrete manner. The leggings you wore clung lovingly to curves like a second skin and your high heeled ankle boots completed the look giving it a touch of elegance. You were strikingly lovely, like a flower coming into bloom.
After several seconds of silence, Jin-woo break is the one who breaks the ice.
 ‘You look great, Y/N,’ he signs to you, ‘I’m so happy to see you again. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.’
Jin-woo must’ve had known you’d been embarrassed about being caught red-handed, so he didn’t bring it up. Instead, he complimented you. God, how could he be so smug yet so charming at the same time?
Precious boy, you muse.
You greet the raven-haired man back with a smile before pulling him into a hug. Jin-woo returns the embrace and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead. All the tension and uncertainty from the past few days had dissipated allowing you to relax and enjoy each other’s company. It signaled a return to normalcy, to better days ahead for both of you.
‘Ready to head in?’ Jin-woo signs to you with a grin on his face that matches yours.
‘Let’s go,’ you respond with a jaunty spring in your movements.
You grab his hand and lead the way, threading your fingers through his.
The next two hours are spent perusing the bookstore’s massive collection. It was one of the largest retail booksellers in Asia boasting over 100,000 different titles on its shelves. Jin-woo’s eyes widened when he walked in. He’d never seen so many books in one place before.
‘Overwhelmed?’ you ask him, nervous that you made the wrong decision on choosing this bookstore for your first date. The size of it alone could be daunting to newcomers.
‘It’s amazing,’ he answers, excitement evident in the fast motions of hands. Your chest fills with warmth at his display of enthusiasm.
You share your interests and favorite genres with Jin-woo, showing him the many novels you read over the years. Jin-woo seemed particularly drawn to the paper- and hardback books in the ‘Classics’ section. He picked up a copy of The Odyssey and leafed through its contents making you curious about his tastes.
One of your hands was clutching onto a large special edition hardback so you typed your question on your phone this time.
[“Do you like Greek mythology?”]
‘I’ve read a few stories here and there,’ he signs back after glancing at your screen.
[“I remember being assigned this book in AP literature when I was a second year. I found it rather interesting, but I loathed Odysseus. I thought he was a complete asshole for cheating on his wife. She remained faithful during his 10-year journey from Ithaca despite having over 100 suitors. But he gets a free pass for sleeping with goddesses and other women. Ugh😒”]
You huff after airing your grievances about Odysseus and his infidelity in your text message. It was silly but you’ve held a personal vendetta against the fictional man ever since you finished reading the epic poem.
Jin-woo snorts in amusement at your reaction. Looks like you both held a distaste for Odysseus although his reason for disliking him differed greatly from yours. Sirens only became weak to humanity after the epic hero found a means of circumnavigating their deadly voices. It felt good to share a common enemy with you.
‘You’re even prettier when you’re angry,’ Jin-woo smirks as he signs this to you.
Now it was your turn to snort. Really? That was a new one.
[“Flattery will get you everywhere with me! Now state your price handsome. 😉”]
He inhales before signing, ‘Will you watch the stars with me tonight?’
The tips of his ears and nape of his neck were bright red as he asked you this. It was adorable.
You answer with a fleeting kiss to his mouth, and you can feel him smiling against your lips. Of course you’d watch the stars with him tonight! You’d be willing to watch them every single night by his side if he’d let you.
The two of you continue floating through the different aisles, a copy of The Odyssey tucked underneath Jin-woo’s arm. He also picked out another book, a science fiction novel titled, The Ants, by Bernard Werber. Jin-woo had read the novel once before and he wanted to revisit it for old time’s sake.
As your book tour concludes Jin-woo comes to a halt after catching sight of an ornate hardcover. Intrigued, you scan the title. It was Hans Christian Andersen’s The Little Mermaid.
‘This story always makes me so sad,’ you sign to Jin-woo with a melancholy look in your eyes.
‘Can you tell me about it?’ Jin-woo asks, his interest piqued.
You find yourself hesitating.
‘Are you sure you want me to spoil it for you?’
‘I don’t mind.’ he responds.
You decide to use your phone to relay the plot since the fairy tale is a lengthy one.
[“There once lived a beautiful and kindhearted mermaid. Having spent most of her life at sea she longed to explore the world above and learn more about humanity. When she becomes old enough to swim to the surface she falls in love at first sight with a handsome prince. After a violent storm sinks his ship, the mermaid rescues him and brings him back to land before he regains consciousness.”]
Jin-woo’s gaze is intense as he studies your phone screen. You’ve never seen someone be so invested in your storytelling. It was flattering.
You continue typing away intent on finishing what you started.
[“The mermaid’s infatuation with the prince drives her to strike up a deal with a powerful sea witch. The witch offers her a potion that can transform her into a human, but it comes at a high cost. The mermaid would never be able to return to the sea once she drank it. What’s more the potion also robs her of her voice and causes her excruciating pain whenever she walks. Despite knowing the toll it will take on her body the mermaid moves forward, blinded by love.”]
Jin-woo’s eyes narrowed after reading this passage and he signs, ‘She’s being manipulated by the witch?’ You confirm his question with a nod of your head.
Your final text ends the story on a low note.
[“The mermaid finally meets and befriends the prince but everything she sacrifices is for nothing. He falls in love with a princess from another kingdom instead and this breaks her heart. The sea witch appears once more to give an ultimatum to the mermaid: she must kill the prince and allow his blood to drip onto her feet. Only by having her revenge could she return to the sea and live as a mermaid again. But she refused. Her love for the prince prevented her from stabbing him. In the final scene the mermaid tosses herself into the sea and as daybreak approaches, she dissolves into foam.”]
You sigh once you’re done. It’s more akin to a tragedy than a fairy tale, you think.
Your next message asks:
[“So, what’s your opinion on it? Pretty sad stuff huh?”]
When you turn to Jin-woo to gauge his reaction you’re taken aback by how pale he looks. There’s a bead of sweat sliding down his face and his countenance had turned grim, a far cry from his relaxed expression at the start of your date. The ending must have disturbed him way more than you anticipated.
Crap. You should have never offered to explain the plot to Jin-woo. This version of, The Little Mermaid, made you bawl like a baby the first time you read it and you usually remained dry-eyed while reading most tearjerkers. Why did you think it was a bright idea to discuss it on a date of all things? It was time to shift into damage control mode, stat!
You struggle for words while coming up with an apology to Jin-woo. You try to keep the text casual and concise to reduce any tension between you.
[“Jin-woo, are you okay? Do you need to sit down and rest? I’m so sorry! I’ve gone and dampened the mood.😭”]
He shakes his head after looking at your message and retrieves a pen and a small notepad from his pocket, an indication that he wanted to hold a longer conversation with you. Although Jin-woo’s grasp of sign language was excellent he found written words to be suitable when the circumstance called for it. Like now for instance.
When he’s done writing with his stationery he hands the notepad to you.
[“Please don’t feel the need apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong. You tried to warn me about how sad the story was, but I insisted on you telling me it anyway. I was just surprised was all. I can relate a bit to the mermaid because I’ve also made great sacrifices for the ones I love. In the mermaid’s case her love for the prince destroyed her. She gave up everything for him only for it to be in vain. It’s sobering to see love portrayed so tragically.”]
Jin-woo worries at his lower lip. He mentioned making sacrifices for his loved ones to you before but what exactly did he mean by it?
[“What sacrifices did you make if you don’t mind me asking? I’m here if you need a shoulder to lean on y’know.”]
You play coy with your response to glean more information from him. Maybe now that you’re officially dating, Jin-woo will open up to you.
Your hopes are dashed when the notepad is back in your possession.
[“Nothing I haven’t said before. Long hours, being away from home, missing my mother and sister while I’m away. Those kinds of sacrifices. Fishing at sea can be deadly if you’re not careful. I’ve had to dirty my hands on more than a few occasions while on the job.”]
Dirty his hands? Now this was something he hadn’t discussed with you before. Was Jin-woo involved in something illegal? Commercial fishing and maritime hunting were mercilessly cutthroat. A big profit can be made from harvesting seafood, fish, and other resources from the ocean. Some companies go as far as committing murder to weed out the competition.
Could this be what he meant by ‘dirtying his hands?’ That would explain why he was so flighty about his past with you. What if he was in trouble? If he was then why didn’t he ask you for help? Did he not trust you or did he not want to drag you into a mess of his own making? 
Your mind’s going a mile a minute you’re so worried about Jin-woo. If he ended up injured or even dead because you decided to believe his lies and look the other way you would never forgive yourself. It was time to address the elephant in the room once and for all.
You type so fast; it’s a miracle you can come up with a message that was even coherent. Your face is hot, and you can already feel the sting of tears in your eyes.
[“Jin-woo, you need stop lying to me. I know there’s something you’re hiding, and it hurts that you can’t trust me enough to say it. If you’re in trouble just tell me. Say the words and I’ll try to help you to the best of my ability. I really like you Jin-woo but honesty should be mutual between us. I’ve spilled my guts to you, told you all about my life, my friends, and my job. Why can’t you do the same for me? I feel like I’m only falling in love with your reflection, not the real you. I just can’t do this anymore! I don’t want to lose you, but I refuse to be part of a relationship that lacks any kind of integrity!”]
Jin-woo takes on the pallor of a corpse as soon as he scans the contents of your text.
Fuck, you had done it now. There was no going back.
When he can bring himself to gaze at you there’s a devastation in his face that makes you instantly hate yourself for lambasting him. Yet you had to stand firm and conquer this hill if you had any chance of a future with him.
His little notepad is staring you in the face before you know it. Jin-woo’s handwriting looked frenzied and frayed. When you glance at him, his head is bowed, and his eyes are cloaked in shadow. He was utterly ashamed of himself. You can’t even begin to imagine what thoughts must be going running through his mind. He had to be as distraught as you were if not worse.
[“Tonight,” the scrawl reads, “I am going to tell you everything tonight. No more lies, no more excuses, I promise you. Even if you despise me for it, even if you never want to see me again, I’ll give you the truth no matter what. So please just this once trust me. I don’t want to lose you either. You’re everything to me, Y/N. I’m sorry for not being truthful to you, I just didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. I’ve only ever lied to protect you.”]
The desperation in his words makes your heart plummet. Just how terrible was this secret that it made Jin-woo think you would hate him for it? And he was scared you would be harmed if you knew? There was no doubt about it, Jin-woo absolutely was in danger. Why else would he be so disturbed about telling you?
Your hands are shaking so badly you can barely keep your phone from falling out of your grip. Jin-woo notices and steadies them by taking your hands in his own. Even at his lowest point you were his priority.
Did he ever once consider his own well-being?
How could he be so considerate of you at a time like this? You wanted to scream; to demand he be angry at you, to curse at you. Anything to justify your self-loathing. You berated Jin-woo without considering why he may be lying in the first place. For all you know his life could be on the line. Yet you only thought of your frustrations like a petulant child.
Stupid. You were so goddamn stupid!
A bookstore associate sees your distress and heads in your direction. Although your argument with Jin-woo was silent your panicked demeanor was starting to cause a scene. You really don’t want anyone to see you like this right now. Especially since you were on the brink of having a breakdown.
Jin-woo quickly acts as your shield, his protectiveness of you second nature. He pulls you to his chest, hiding your face from prying eyes. He’s warm, his heartbeat is steady, and you can feel his palms running up and down your back, consoling you. Jin-woo held you with the tenderness of a lover.
It’s in the comfort of his embrace that you let go and allow yourself to weep for him.
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“Hello, ma’am is everything alri–”
“You can direct your questions to me. Can’t you tell she’s upset right now?” Jin-woo interrupts the man with clipped tone before he can finish. There’s a particularly nasty scowl on his face and the aura resonating from him is menacing at best. Did this moron not know how to read the room or was he lacking in common sense? You were vulnerable and in no position to be approached by a stranger let alone some random man.
The store associate pales and falters at Jin-woo’s display of aggression. He glances at the dark-haired alpha then back to you before his eyes widen. He had connected the dots.
“I
 I
 Sir, please try to understand. I didn’t mean to intrude on you and your mate, there were just some concerns from the staff and other patrons because of how scared she looked.”
Jin-woo’s hold on you tightens ever so slightly, and he levels a sneer at the frightened associate. The fucking gall of this man, of these humans, thinking they had a right to invade your own personal matters!
If you hadn’t been there with him he wouldn’t think twice about murdering every single person in this building. He’d flay the flesh from their bones, reap their misbegotten souls, and resurrect them into mindless pawns; just cogs in a machine for his army of the undead.
Jin-woo reluctantly quells his rage and spits out, “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave. What happens between her, and I is of no concern to you. Now go.”
His commanding baritone brooks no argument, and the man flees with all the grace of a wounded animal.
For the next few minutes, you remain in Jin-woo’s arms until your tears run dry. When you’re feeling stable enough to walk Jin-woo softly takes your hand and leads you out of the building. Your books lie forgotten and haphazardly stacked on top of one another on a random shelf.
You both walk aimlessly with no set destination in mind. Your eyes were still swollen and puffy from earlier, so you avert your gaze from Jin-woo. He merely squeezes your hand in response, a gesture of reassurance.
An unoccupied back alley with a dead end eventually comes into view. It’s here in this inconspicuous passageway that Jin-woo decides to explain the full extent of his powers.
Once you’re seated on a nearby windowsill, he activates his inventory in front of you for the first time. Jin-woo said he would show you the truth and he was a man of his word. He withdraws Kasaka’s Venom Fang, the oldest dagger in his collection, and gracefully twirls it in his hand before holding it out to you.
As expected, you’re awestruck by the sight of the weapon. However, what Jin-woo doesn’t anticipate is for you to suddenly extend a hand towards the blade, your index finger almost touching its venom-tinged edge. He snatches your wrist so nimbly you barely register what happens. Only the warmth from his body alerts you of his hold.
You gasp.
Despite the incredible velocity of his movements Jin-woo was able to rein in the force behind them, preventing you from being hurt by his grip. Even the most elite athletes struggled to find the perfect balance between speed and strength. His control of his body was beyond human capabilities.
He shoots you an apologetic look and releases your wrist.
‘That dagger can paralyze and drain your life if it cuts you,’ Jin-woo warns after returning it to storage, ‘I should have told you sooner. I’m sorr –
‘It’s beautiful.’
He raises his eyebrows. Of all the words you could use to describe such a deadly weapon ‘beautiful’ wasn’t what he had in mind. His lips quirk into a small smile.
‘You think so? It doesn’t frighten you?’ he queries, pleasantly surprised by your nonchalance.
You nod and peer at him with a soft expression.
‘I do.’ There’s a long pause before you add, ‘You’ve used that knife before, haven’t you?’
You bite your lip and clasp your hands together after you’re done signing. You knew you were backing Jin-woo into a corner with a loaded question, but he wouldn’t be lugging around such a dangerous item without having a very good reason for it.
The grin on his face vanishes, replaced by grimace. You hit the nail on the head. Jin-woo readies himself for his answer.
‘Yes, I have. I’ve used that dagger to hurt and even kill people in the past. I know I’ve told you many lies and half-truths, but I wasn’t lying when I told you I dirtied my hands.’
He expels a shaky breath before delving into all the gritty details of who he really is. Unraveling and stripping himself down to his barest form.
Through a combination of sign language, a visual demonstration of his abilities, and written words Jin-woo reveals that he is a hunter, a warrior who fights life and limb against otherworldly beasts; day in and day out.
He exposes his many skills including stealth, the power he used to manifest outside of the bookstore.
Next came his accelerated healing and immense physical prowess. Jin-woo spots a discarded cinderblock on the ground, grabs it, and shatters the hard object with his bare hands. This causes his palms to scrape and bleed. You gasp and rise to your feet, alarmed by Jin-woo’s injuries. But he lifts his arm, an unspoken order for you to stay exactly where you are.
Suddenly light eclipses the abrasions and his skin starts to mend itself. You watch in disbelief as Jin-woo splays his opened and visibly undamaged palms in the air. You had just witnessed Kandiaru’s Blessing in the flesh.
And then he unveils one of his greatest assets to you.
The shadows pooling at his feet rapidly proliferate until the entire alley is submerged in darkness. Within seconds a lone obsidian knight emerges from the void. He cuts a formidable figure on his own standing well over 240 cm with vibrant hues of amethyst accenting his heavy armor. A single red plume hangs atop his helmet and sways with every stride he takes. When he gets within five feet of you and Jin-woo he kneels in reverence.
You learn the knight’s name is Igris and that he’s one of hundreds of soldiers who serve under Jin-woo. This was only a taste of the Shadow Monarch’s full dominion.
Once finished Jin-woo issues an order for Igris to return. The knight stands tall and nods his assent to his king and much to your shock, to you as well, before he disappears into the receding shadows. Moments later the alleyway is as it always appears with nothing to indicate what transpired.
It’s at this stage that you present one more hard-hitting question to Jin-woo. A question he’d been dreading.
‘You aren’t human, are you Jin-woo?’
He clenches his fists.
‘No, I’m not.’
You study his face closely trying to scope out any signs of deception, but there are none. He was being completely honest with you. But then what else could he possibly be?
Before the weight of his answer can fully sink in the revolting stench of congealed blood assaults your senses. It reeks of decay and viscera, the potent odor violating the air like a malignancy.
This was the unmistakable scent of an alpha, one that you were unfortunately all too familiar with.
It was Kang Taeshik’s nauseating musk.
You internally panic, horrified that your assailant from months ago was somehow back in the picture. Your thoughts become a frantic mess.
No
no
no! It can’t be! Director Jinchul fired him! He should’ve been long gone by now, so what the hell was he doing back on this island!?!
You feel like the air’s been punched from your lungs. Your legs shake uncontrollably and threaten to crumble. Jin-woo quickly catches you by the waist before you can slump to the ground. He then maneuvers your body so that you’re facing him, not the unseen nightmare that was approaching. He strokes your hair, and his pheromones are released in full force to calm your nerves. The aroma of lavender and sandalwood slowly begins to supersede the miasma of death.
“Show yourself already. The bloodlust from your filthy stench’s enough of a giveaway, alpha.”
Jin-woo’s eyes narrow into a frosty glare as the sound of obnoxious clapping echoes throughout the alleyway. Taeshik had finally announced his arrival.
“Well, color me impressed! It’s not often I come across someone who isn’t intimidated by my scent. Looks like you’ve got some balls on you! I like it! You’d make a great brawler in our fighting circuit.” An unknown voice commends Jin-woo with a condescending undertone.
You begin to whimper as the odor increases in intensity. Jin-woo gently tucks your head into the crook of his neck granting you access to his scent glands. Right now, his instincts were kicking into overdrive. He was solely focused on protecting and cherishing you. Fighting could be put on the back burner. For now.
 A man with a wild mane of purple hair arrogantly saunters into view. He’s accompanied by a large group of men, around ten in total and all of them alphas. Judging by the murderous intent in their eyes they were on the prowl for prey.
Taeshik’s mouth spreads into a smirk reminiscent of a Chelsea grin when notices you. He openly leers at your body; an action that causes Jin-woo to snarl and bare his fangs.
The purple haired man raises his hands in mock surrender.
“Hey now there’s no need for that. I was just appreciating the view, that’s all. Besides, your omega and I have a bit of a history together. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
Jin-woo’s eyes go wide. How did he know your name?
His reaction seems to delight Taeshik who continues his spiel.
“Why the shock? She must’ve not told you about me. Y’see we used to be coworkers up until she got me fired. And after I was just trying to help by doing a little favor for her. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.” He breaks into a fit of disconcerting laughter at the end of his speech.
“A favor?” Jin-woo asks, no, demands Taeshik to answer. Just what had he done to you?
One of the gang members, a burly man with several scars, spiky black hair, and a five o’ clock shadow snickers and interjects.
“Isn’t it obvious, brat? That little slut went into heat right in front him. She was practically begging for it too! Taeshik here was gonna bring her to us so we could all get a piece of that fine ass. Too bad that fuckin’ director had to go and ruin our plans. But your boss isn’t here to save you this time, huh sweetheart?”
“She can’t hear or speak to you, Dongsuk. She’s deaf. I don’t know how many times I have to keep reminding you.” Taeshik drawls, annoyance lacing his voice.
“Heh, so what? A hole’s a hole. It ain’t like she’s gonna be able to talk with a mouthful of cock anywa –”
Slash!
In the blink of an eye Dongsuk’s head rolls off his shoulders leaving nothing but a bloodied stump in its wake. His body slumps to its knees like a marionette with its strings cut before flopping onto the ground.
“Wha – what the hell just happened!?!”
“Holy shit!”
“D
Dongsuk!? No!”
Confusion and panic overtake the men within seconds. Even Taeshik looks ill at ease. None of them had been able to pinpoint the exact cause or reason for the man’s untimely demise.
When the purple haired alpha redirects his attention to Jin-woo, he’s mortified by what he sees. Black eclipses the end of the alleyway submerging everything in darkness except for Jin-woo’s piercing gaze.
In that moment, Taeshik learns what pure, unadulterated terror feels like. He was staring death in the face, a face that bore nothing but apoplectic rage.
A crimson and black dagger, the Knight Killer, was wielded in one of Jin-woo’s hands. The weapon’s jagged edges were ensanguined up to the hilt; evidence of the life it had so effortlessly taken. Jin-woo’s other arm remained wrapped around you although now you were facing Taeshik, the remainder of his men, and the decapitated corpse of Hwang Dongsuk.
You tear your gaze away, unable to bear the gruesome sight any longer. Jin-woo looks at you sympathetically before hardening his expression.
He knew he was letting his anger get the better of him, but he was infuriated by these vulgar bottom feeders and the disgusting remarks they made about you. Jin-woo really couldn’t give a fuck about killing these wastes of space, but he wouldn’t let you be a spectator to the slaughter he was about to commit. You’ve been traumatized enough.
An insect-like specter suddenly manifests from the shadows and bows before you and his king.
“Beru, take her somewhere safe and far away from here. I don’t want her to see this.” Jin-woo orders, his voice dropping an octave lower.
“At once my liege.” The ant diligently obeys his master and offers a clawed hand to you.
“My lady?”
You pause at the gesture, unsure of whether you should accept it or stay by Jin-woo’s side. The dark-haired man notices your hesitation and makes the choice for you. He clasps onto your shoulder and squeezes it urging you to escape with Beru.
You reluctantly allow the ant to hoist you into his arms. As Beru prepares to launch himself into flight you turn and cast a final glance at Jin-woo.
He looks nothing at all like himself. He’s cold, menacing, inhuman.
That’s right, Jin-woo wasn’t human. He admitted as much to you. But it hadn’t changed your feelings for him in any shape or form. Your heart still yearned and bled for him all the same.
Your lids grow heavy once Beru takes to the skies, a likely side-effect of overexposure to Jin-woo’s pheromones. As you start to succumb to slumber, your last waking thoughts are filled with nothing but him.
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The moon hangs high in the sky when you wake up. After gaining your bearings you perform a cursory scan of your surroundings. A vast sea cavern greets you, its atmosphere dank and foreboding. Stalactites rain down from the ceiling like arrows frozen in time, weathered rocks line the walls, and the air is so humid you struggle to breathe. The only source of light is from moonbeams drifting through a crevice at the top of the cave.
You soon realize that you’re lying on top of a sandbank in the middle of a large body of water. There didn’t appear to be any means of escape other than swimming, but you were mentally and physically exhausted. Your phone was also nowhere in sight, making it impossible to text for help. You were effectively stuck.
An undulating motion in the water’s surface catches your attention. You weren’t alone, something was in here with you and it was getting closer. However, you’re not afraid. In fact, there’s something oddly familiar about this presence...
The movements abruptly ceases, and all is still for several heart pounding seconds. Then out of nowhere a large figure surges from underneath the briny waves.
It’s a male siren, and he’s utterly magnificent. His appearance more akin to a work of art than a living, breathing being. He looks at you with a serene expression. Was this who you thought it was?
You drink him in, appreciating his beauty in its entirety.
The siren’s eyes consist of blackened sclerae with amethyst irises. A smooth layer of ebony skin partially coats his jaw, shoulders, and back. It contrasts wonderfully with the ivory coloring on his chest and face. He bore the same pattern as a killer whale; an apt comparison given that sirens were also apex predators. Webbed ear fins protrude from the sides of his head, the scales on them aglow under the faint moonlight. And luscious locks of black hair frame the siren’s stunning face.
He's simply not of this world. Words could never accurately describe his ethereal visage.
The siren is sprawled out on the edge of the sandbank. Upon closer inspection you notice that he’s highly anxious. You see his dichromatic throat bobbing, and he makes a conscious effort to avoid eye contact with you. You’d seen these nervous tics before.
‘Is that you, Jin-woo?’ You sign to the siren although you’re certain you already know the answer. You just needed his confirmation for peace of mind.
He shuts his eyes and nods, a somber admission of the truth.
You take a deep breath before exhaling. Then you present him with another question.
‘Did you kill all of them?’
The siren remains still this time. His lack of a definite response was an answer in itself.
You wet your lips. So, you were right. Jin-woo said he’s killed before to survive, but this time he did it for you. To punish those men who sought to use you for their own perverse interests. And Taeshik
 his fate must’ve been worse than death for what he put you through.
Jin-woo signs to you.
‘I’m sorry you had to find out this way
 this was supposed to be a special day for you, but everything went wrong. I know you’ll want no part of me in your life after this, but I’m glad I met you. I’ll have Beru take you home.’
Jin-woo turns his back to you and prepares to make his departure. So, that was it? He was going to vanish from your life just like that. You hadn’t even gotten a word in; he just assumed you didn’t want anything to do with him. That idiot!
You had to stop Jin-woo before it was too late! But what could you possibly do to prevent him from leaving
?
You have an epiphany then; what if you gave all of yourself to Jin-woo, body and soul? Only an intimate act, the consummation of your relationship, could fully bind you to Jin-woo.
A mating bite is irreversible. Once you are bonded there’s no going back on it. But you’ve wanted Jin-woo for so long. In fact, you wish he had bitten your scent glands when he first kissed you. Him being a siren, a killer of mankind and monsters, did not deter you. He was your chosen mate. You would never refuse him.
The sound of rustling of clothes stops Jin-woo in his tracks. He inhales shakily, not quite believing what was happening just feet from him.
You were disrobing yourself. You wanted to mate with him!
As you peel off each article of clothing, the sweet scent of your pheromones and slick become more pronounced. Jin-woo groans as his knot starts to swell. God, you smelt incredible! If only he could see your nude form. The things he’d make you feel, the sounds he’d drive from you

Why was he still stopping himself? Your actions just now said all that needed to be said! You wanted him, and you were more than ready for his knot. As an alpha he’d be remiss not to tend to the needs of his omega.
His mouth curls into a wolfish grin. You really had no idea what you’d just gotten yourself into.
You feel heat pooling between your thighs at the sight of Jin-woo’s broad shoulders. The muscles of his back flex deliciously when he finally turns to relish you in all your naked glory. The smoldering gaze he sends you as his eyes sweep over every inch of your bare body looks like it’s carved in sin. You delight in his attention and crave more of it.
Unable to endure another second apart from your alpha, you rush to the edge of the sandbank fully prepared to swim to him if necessary. But you’re beaten to the punch as Jin-woo emerges from the water and pins you to the ground at a speed that’s downright demonic.
He holds both of your wrists above your head in one large hand while he rests his other arm on his elbow beside your head, trapping you beneath him.
Jin-woo looks into your eyes one last time for any sign of resistance. There’s none; you were not backing down from this. You wanted him to claim you.
Your explicit consent is all he needs to unleash himself upon you. He molds his lips against yours in a searing kiss that burns with passion. Your eyes slip shut as you lose yourself to it. Jin-woo was kissing you with abandon this time, and it was sublime. There was a clear intent and purpose in every stroke and caress of his mouth. He kissed you as if nothing else mattered.
He abruptly parts from your lips to press his forehead to yours. At last, both of you could indulge and get lost in one another. You bask in Jin-woo’s warmth and spread your legs apart allowing him to slant between them. He releases your wrists and cradles your face in his hands.
Your breath hitches when you feel his length prodding against your stomach. This was really happening! You shiver in spite of yourself. Would you be able to withstand Jin-woo’s brute strength?
The siren presses featherlight kisses to your lips, cheeks, and eyelids to quell your nerves. When he pulls back you notice his mouth is moving. You focus on his lips, carefully deciphering each word.
“Raise your head and close your eyes. I have a surprise”
You do as he asks, and something cold prickles against your dĂ©colletĂ© and the back of your neck. You’re curious about what Jin-woo’s placed on you but you keep your head raised and your lids remain firmly shut. Moments later two taps of his fingertips on your cheek signal that you can open your eyes.
When you glance down, you’re amazed by the jewelry dangling from your neck. It’s gorgeous. Incandescent shards of crystal and delicate alabaster pearls pour from your nape down to the swell of your breasts.
Jin-woo in turn finds himself mesmerized by the image of the gemstones splayed across your dewy skin. Your complexion glows in the moonlight, making you all the more alluring.
He decides to take you right then and there.
As you wrap your arms around Jin-woo’s shoulders, he captures your lips with his and slides into your tight heat. You keen and arch into Jin-woo, baring your throat to him. His fangs lengthen, and he sinks them into the tender flesh of your neck, staking his claim.
Stars adorn the night sky as the two of you intertwine and become one.
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Five days later

Woo Jinchul was beside himself with worry.
He wearily rubs at his bloodshot eyes. A quick glance at his phone tells him it's just past three o’ clock in the morning. Yet another sleepless night had come to pass. The man contemplates grabbing more coffee but decides not to. He was already five cups deep and the caffeine was doing nothing for his exhaustion.
Jinchul knows he isn’t at his best when he’s sleep deprived but he couldn’t afford to waste another minute, not while you were still nowhere to be found. And now, based on recent developments in your case, you were classified as an endangered missing person. Sleep was the very last thing on his mind.
He looks down at his desk to examine your case file for what must’ve been the tenth time in the last hour. These classified documents contained sensitive information. Jinchul had to resort to pulling strings to obtain a copy of your records. He hated throwing his weight around to get what he wanted but bringing you back home safe and alive was far more important to him.
Lead detectives Baek Yoonho and Choi Jong-In hadn’t been too thrilled about sharing the particulars of an open investigation with some ‘big wig’ film director. It took some major convincing on Jinchul’s part for them to relent and provide him with such crucial details.
So far, it’s been almost a full week since your disappearance. During that time, an exhaustive search of the island had been performed. However, there was no sight or sound of you. And as fate would have it, another misfortune occurred on the very night you vanished. This time it was a massacre.
Kang Taeshik, a name Jinchul wishes he could just forget. The man had a propensity for violence as well as a lengthy rap sheet that was conveniently scrubbed from public records. He knew Taeshik engaged in some unsavory pastimes, namely hosting unsanctioned brawls in the underground fighting circuit. But this was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Racketeering, drug trade, and much to Jinchul’s horror, human trafficking, had been just a handful of the crimes the sick bastard had gotten away with.
If only he had known sooner, then you would’ve never been in this situation. He should’ve trusted his gut and chosen another actor for Taeshik’s role. Jinchul always despised the way that man looked at you, like you were a slab of meat. It was disgusting.
Imagine his shock when he discovered Taeshik had fallen victim to a mass murderer. Body parts and mutilated remains barely recognizable as human were found littered in an alleyway like trash. The scene had been so grizzly that dental records were required to identify the deceased. Only four out of the eleven decedents could be positively ID’d, with Taeshik being one of them.
There were no eyewitnesses, no biological evidence, no suspects. Nothing. The murders would be exceptionally difficult to solve.
And they didn’t stop there.
A large bookstore was set on fire two days after the gruesome discovery. Widespread flames and hundreds of thousands of books were a recipe for disaster. Despite the best efforts of the fire department and emergency services, over seventy people lost their lives. It was initially presumed to be an accident, likely faulty wiring or inadequate maintenance.
This theory was thrown out the window when the autopsy results of one of the store’s associates revealed some truly unsettling details.
To put it lightly the man had been decimated. Every bone in his body was shattered, his spinal cord was severed, and both his legs were torn off. The associate had undergone an excruciating death, with any one of his injuries being fatal. He’d been tortured extensively before expiring from blood loss. Whoever committed this murder must’ve wanted him to suffer. The damage to the man’s body also bore striking similarities to the injuries sustained by victims of the massacre.
When his surviving co-workers were asked by detectives if the man had any known enemies, an older woman spoke up. Apparently, there was a tall dark-haired alpha having a falling-out with his girlfriend in the store a few days prior. The associate attempted to intervene and stop the lover’s tiff, but the boyfriend had been greatly angered by this.
“It was as if he’d seen a ghost,” the woman stated, “He was absolutely spooked by the confrontation and refused to talk to us about it. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t dropped the topic so easily. That boy was such a hard worker, always so eager to help those in need
 it’s awful what happened to him. I don’t know how his family is coping.”
But if a grudge was only held against the associate then why did the killer go so far as to destroy the entire building? Did he also harbor resentment towards the business? Was he trying to make an example out of them?
Unfortunately, all the surveillance cameras in the bookstore had been destroyed in the fire. Staff members were able to provide a detailed description of the alpha and his girlfriend. When Jinchul first saw the composite sketches he nearly fell out of his chair.
The girlfriend had been a dead ringer for you.
If that wasn’t enough of a smoking gun, the day the man and woman were seen together coincided with the day you went missing.
Evidence in your case was mounting but none of it made sense. How did you get involved with this man? As far as Jinchul knew you weren’t dating anyone during filming. Cha and Jinho were also certain you were single. But that didn’t exclude the possibility of you being in a secret relationship
 
At this point in the investigation, all Baek and Choi had to run on was the assumption you’d been kidnapped by a highly dangerous individual. A man who just so happened to be linked to almost one hundred deaths within the last week. The resolution to your missing person’s case was becoming bleaker by the day.
Jinchul rubbed at his temples. Going days without a proper night’s rest was taking its toll on him. His head was throbbing with a killer headache. Everything’s gone to shit since you’ve been gone.
Due to the tragic events surrounding the island and the unsolved disappearance of one of their own, executive producer Go made the difficult decision of suspending production on ‘Murder on the Cerulean Sea,’ indefinitely. The movie was most likely going to be shelved.
Jinchul sighs and reaches for his phone again. He skims through his photo gallery until he comes across a picture taken on the first day of filming. You, Cha, and Jinho persuaded him to join in on a group selfie to commemorate the special occasion. The hopeful look in your eyes and the mirth in your smile causes Jinchul’s chest to feel heavy. He longs to return to happier times like this.
But those days were past and gone.
A monster came to Jindo Island, salted the earth with its rage, unleashed a burning inferno to incinerate all in its path.
And you disappeared with it in a sea of fire.
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Tag list: @soft-dots @joannthebish @rokuxx6 @augurythirteen @princeizuku @vee-love @imaginarydreams @iamapotatoe @phisen @rai-xxx @ayam99920 @asylrd
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minisugakoobies · 9 months ago
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It's You - Choi San | 3 AM
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Pairing: San x Reader Genre: smut, crack, fluff, angst, roommates to lovers, BFF’s Lil Bro!AU Series Rating: M (18+) Drabble Warnings: sneaking around, sloppy making out, lots of cuddling and kissing, honestly this is super soft, drunk San is a whole different type of menace, a little angst on OC's part, pet names deployed as weapons (baby) Word Count: 2.1k Disclaimers: SFW, obviously I don’t own ATZ - they just inspire me
Summary: He was only supposed to be a temporary roommate. Your best friend’s little brother, crashing on your couch for a few weeks. That’s it. How did this happen?
A/N: This started with talking about drunk San with @minttangerines and @kiestrokes, and then @moni-logues made me miss this couple, so boom! New vignette! I should warn you that I wrote this over the course of 2 days, entirely between the hours of midnight and 5 am because I've been staying up wayyyy too late to watch the Coachella livestreams (can we talk about Chellateez?! because holy shit!), so it's probably a mess and it's unbeta'd, so
 blame any typos or incoherency on my fucked up sleep schedule! đŸ„±
Lyrics are from "Moondance" by Van Morrison, inspired by that one toktoq of San singing that song, which absolutely killed me.
Taglist is open! Reblog, comment, or send me an ask to be added! You can also send me any ideas/thoughts you might have for a future scenario - who knows, it might end up in a drabble! 💕
It’s You Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ ATZ Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ Main Masterlist
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It’s three in the morning, and you’re wide awake, at your desk, working frantically on an article whose deadline is mere hours away. For not the first time tonight, you curse your natural inclination towards procrastination and scrub your hand down your face, wishing you’d chosen a different career. 
There’s some noise outside your door and you realize San must be home. He’d been down at the Blue Bird with Hongjoong, drinking and hanging out with Wooyoung as he bartended. From the way San’s shuffling around, it sounds like Woo had been his typical kind self and given San more generous pours than he should have. A loud “oof” resonates, and you hear the armchair scrape the floor a bit, as if he were setting it back in its place. You wince, hoping he didn’t wake his sister, who has an early shift and needs to be up at dawn.
“Noona. Nooooooona.” Tap tap tappity tap. “Are you up? I can see - I can see your light.” 
San raps on your door, calling out to you in a voice that’s hushed but maybe not quite as quiet as he thinks it is. From his spot on your bed, Nero lifts his head off his paws at the sound, then blinks at you with his bright green eyes. 
“I know. He’s loud as fuck, isn’t he?” With a cluck of your tongue, you quickly hop up and open the door. San must’ve been leaning against it, because suddenly you’ve got a mountain on top of you, a loose-limbed one at that, eagerly but clumsily wrapping its arms around you. “San!” 
“Hiiiii,” San coos into your shoulder, where he’s buried his face. You shudder slightly as his breath tickles your skin exposed by the tank top you wear, and stagger away from the door enough to close it quietly as you can, not an easy task to do given the giant mass of man hanging his dead weight on you. 
“You know, your sister is sleeping just on the other side of this wall,” you remind him, but he doesn’t respond, too busy lathering the column of your neck with tiny kisses. “San. Come on, sit down.” 
With some stumbling from San and a not insignificant effort on your part, the two of you make it over to your bed. Your attempt at coaxing San into a sitting position fails miserably as he promptly splays on his back, pulling you on top of him. Nero hops off the bed in a huff. 
You go down like a sack of flour, not a gram of gracefulness in your fall, but San appears not to notice when your chin bounces off his sternum or your knee rams his thigh. He sighs contentedly, wrapping his arms around your back, tucking you against him.
“Mmmm. So nice,” he murmurs, resting his cheek against the top of your head. 
It’s three in the morning, and you need to finish this damn article. Except that right now, your body is telling you that what you really need is to stay exactly where you are. Because the minute the warmth of San’s embrace surrounded you, your stress melted away. The steady rise and fall of his chest calms you, makes your own breathing slow. You close your eyes, nestling closer to him, sliding your own arms around his waist. You could so easily fall asleep like this. 
But he can’t sleep here. 
“San. San, are you awake?” 
“I’m awake,” he replies, but with closed eyes, which doesn’t really give you a lot of confidence in his response. “I am,” he insists when you shake him, rolling his head away, but he still doesn’t look at you.
“Don’t fall asleep,” you warn him sternly. “I mean it!” 
San smiles, the one that tells you that he knows you’re going to give in to him, which is the smile you tend to see him flash the most often, because you’re weak for him and always giving in. But this isn’t one of those times when you can indulge him. No matter how much you want to. 
“Wish you’d come to the bar tonight. Wanted you there.” 
You knew that. He’d told you as much when he’d texted earlier. Unfortunately, you had to turn him down for the sake of remaining gainfully employed. He’d tried to convince you otherwise at first but finally said he understood. And then sent you a series of sad selfies, each one more pathetic than the last, lips puffing to an extreme. Because he understands the power that pout holds over you.
It’s embarrassing how bad you’re down for this man.
San’s fingers dance idly down your spine, and you sigh, eyes slipping shut again as you speak. “Believe me, I would’ve rather been there with you.” 
He hums, fingertips quickening their light minuet. He mumbles something into your hair, low and unintelligible from the way his lips are smushed against your head, so it takes you a few seconds to realize he’s not talking, he’s singing. 
“... marvelous night for a moondance, with the stars up above in your eyes
” 
“San,” you begin, but before you can warn him not to get any louder, he does so anyway, raising his beautiful voice a little, starting to get into it. 
“A fantabulous night to make romance, 'neath the cover of October skies
”
“Shhh!” Your shushing is cut short by your giggling, as you clap a hand over San’s mouth. “Oh my god, now is not the time for this!” 
This is one of San’s more notable habits - when a song gets stuck in his head, you’ll hear him singing it for days, just walking around the apartment humming the melody or, if he has an audience, belting out the lines. He knows how much you love his sweet tenor. Another fact about you he’s filed away to devastate you with at the most opportune times.
Like when you need to kick him out of your bed. 
He continues singing despite your hand pressing on his lips, slurring the words directly into your palm. His eyebrows are working overtime, top half of his face playfully conveying whatever lyrics are being smothered against your skin. He’s so ridiculous, so over-the-top, even at three in the morning when anyone else would be exhausted, like you felt before he walked into your room, since his energy is infectious and perked you up better than the multiple cups of coffee you downed in your desperate attempt to stay awake. That’s San for you - he’s always giving you something when you need it - his time, his help, his energy. 
So you decide to give him something back, and replace your hand with your mouth, drawing him into a tender kiss, imbuing it with all those things you feel but never say. His muffled singing becomes a hum becomes a moan, at first surprised, then pleased. One of his hands drops to your thigh and with a bit of urgent tugging, he maneuvers you on top of him, chest pressed to chest.
His kissing is only the slightest bit sloppier when he’s been drinking, wetter from his tongue caressing yours with somewhat less skill than usual, but it’s never bothered you. You like seeing this side of him, looser with his inhibitions, with whatever holds him in place - or holds him back. One day you’ll ask him to show you more, when you’re both sober. 
And when things are different. Less
 ambiguous between the two of you. 
If you reach that point. 
“Noona.” San whispers, thankfully pulling you from the heavier thoughts threatening to sink you right out of the moment. You open your eyes to look at him as he pecks your cheeks.  “I like kissing you.” 
You grin, letting your forehead knock against his. “Yeah, I kinda noticed.” 
“Aren’t you going to say it back?” The look he gives you would melt the hardest of hearts. This is why you’re not afraid to be needy with San. There’s no reason to be, not when he’s just the same. 
“I like kissing you too,” you declare, kissing the tip of his nose, laughing at the way his eyes cross as he follows your lips. “But now’s not the time for that, either.” 
“Then what time is it?”
Laughing, you gently guide him into a sitting position, keeping your arms looped over his shoulders. His lust is morphing into sleepiness, eyelids drooping as he gazes at you, and your heart goes so soft at the sight of him. 
“It’s time for you to go to bed.” 
“Okay,” he chirps, immediately flopping onto his back again. 
“Ohhhh no, not here. You gotta go. I still have to finish my work, and you
” The words stick in your throat. You can’t be here. You don’t want to say them. You want him to be here. Tonight, and tomorrow, and on and on. 
But that’s a conversation for another time. Not three in the morning.
“You have to go,” you groan, sliding off the bed and grabbing his arms, less gentle and more insistent this time. “Come on, get up!” 
San lets out a whine of protest. “But baby, why can’t I stay here?” 
Oh, he would drop a ‘baby’ now, slipping it in so casually, so naturally, like there’s nothing unusual about him calling you that. As if it’s not something new he only started doing the other day, happening maybe a handful of times since. 
Since the two of you have been doing this undefined thing, there’s really only been one unspoken rule. You sleep in your bed, and he sleeps on the couch. Even on the nights when Haneul’s working the late shift, or she’s over at Jongho’s. You never know if she’ll come home early, so you don’t risk it. It’s just easier this way.
Doesn’t mean you like it, though. 
“Because. If Haneul catches you coming out of here - “
The sound of a door opening makes you freeze right down to your tongue, leaving your sentence unfinished. Your head swivels towards your own door. A pair of feet pad down the hall, getting closer, then fading away, until you hear another door being closed. The bathroom. 
“Noona.” 
You turn to find a sober-looking San staring at you. He reaches out, hands settling on your hips, holding on to you as you stand between his legs. Clinging again. 
“She’s in early today, right?” 
The two of you probably know Haneul’s schedule better than she does. You nod.
“Then I’ll just stay in here. She’ll think I never came home.” 
He makes it sound so simple. So reasonable. He’ll stay here until she leaves. Why didn’t you think of that? Is it because you don’t like thinking of San with someone else, even if said person is an imaginary person who exists solely to provide an excuse that will allow you to get what you want? And if you get what you want now, it’s only going to hurt more when you can’t have it anymore?
Yeah, that’s probably it. 
“I don’t know
” you bite your lip.
“Come on,” he wheedles, drawing you into his lap again, cupping your face with both hands. “Let me stay with you. Don’t you want me?” 
And there it goes, the last remaining bit of your resistance. 
“Okay.”
San seems a little shocked, face lighting up in delight, and you wonder if it’s at how quickly you agreed, or that you agreed at all. Maybe both.
“But we have to be quiet. So, you know
” You trail off, gesturing wordlessly. 
“No moondancing?” He emphasizes the word heavily, lifting a brow, and you roll your eyes but grin as well.
“Right, none of that.”
“Just cuddles?” 
As if he needs to ask. You nod. “But I’m not coming to bed until I finish my work.” You reclaim your seat at your desk, folding your arms over the back of it, trying to give the appearance of someone with a solid backbone, since yours is apparently made of pudding. 
“That’s okay,” San says, already tugging his shirt off, then his pants, until he’s only in his boxer briefs. He peels back your comforter, sliding into the soft sheets, and again the action is so natural, so normal, like he does this every night, that something in your chest constricts. “I’ll just wait for you.” 
Your first thought is that you should inform him that he’s going to be waiting a while, but then again, maybe he won’t. 
You’re feeling suddenly inspired. 
(It’s three in the morning, and you’re falling in love.)
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If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕
Taglist: @sweetnspicy-noona @krystal-a @jennylychee @hiefisch
© 2023-24 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.
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nerdallwritey · 4 months ago
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Worth the Peril
Summary: In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian. Despite Karlach’s cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it. And right now, he was entering a rage. OR Upon arriving in the Underdark, you go down in a battle, leaving Astarion to pick up the pieces.
Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ (no smut) Word count: 15.1k CW: reader gets hurt - violence, severe injury, blood, descriptions of wound, depictions of pain, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, protective Astarion, blind with rage Astarion, soft Astarion, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), everyone else sees what Astarion can't Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.) Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 5 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.
a/n: SHE'S HERE!! I am SO excited to be finally be posting the newest chapter of Beauty and the Bard! Thank you so much for your patience as I was sorting this one out. I've always been a huge fan of the hurt/comfort trope and the "Person A gets hurt and Person B loses it" trope, so this is my take on both of those tropes in one! Did I fudge the numbers of the Duergar fight in the Underdark from Act One? Yes. Did I fudge the numbers in terms of injury severity and what's actually possible through magical healing? Also yes! But in a world where a skeleton will bring you back from the dead for $200, OR, simply sleeping a full eight hours will heal you completely, I think I was able to make it make sense. Hopefully. Apologies to anyone working in the medical field who knows I'm a sham. But this is a series about smooching a vampire, so we gotta suspend our disbelief somewhere! There's no smut in this chapter, and for that, I apologize, but it'll make sense why it doesn't. If it helps, my beta says that this is her favorite chapter to date! Woo! Please enjoy. (Thank you to my beta @kermitwazowski for reading! - Also! She just got married! And a tiktok from it went viral! We love her, she's the best.) As a reminder, last time, you and Astarion had a little romp in the river while watching the sunrise.
Taglist: Moved to the comment section, since tumblr hates sharing fun with friends - please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!
Barring a few dirty looks from Shadowheart and Lae’zel, your return to camp with Astarion - both of you now vaguely damp - was largely ignored in favor of packing up camp in preparation for venturing into the Underdark. So long as you were both there to help with the pack up efforts, it didn’t really matter where the two of you had spent your morning. 
Astarion squeezed your hand fondly before sauntering over to his tent to loiter and drag his feet until the camp was mostly all packed away. You knew his game; look busy without actually lifting a finger until it was absolutely necessary. You rolled your eyes before bending to gather and organize the loot in your tent. He was so annoying.
Gods, you hated him.
And you loved him.
Why, of all people, did you have to fall in love with the emotionally stunted, incredibly dramatic, freak weirdo vampire? Wyll was perfectly nice! Shadowheart had a good head on her shoulders! And yet

Your eyes flicked over to his tent momentarily. 
He wasn’t even trying. He was fully looking at his nails. He looked up briefly and met your eye. He smirked before moving his hand to wave at you delicately with his fingertips. 
“Pack,” you called to him from across camp.
“What?” He cupped a hand to his ear as if he couldn’t hear you from the relatively short distance away. “You’ll have to speak up, darling! Or, better yet-”
He left his tent and made his way over to yours.
“Oooh, no,” you scolded and pointed towards his tent. “Get back over there and pack, you jackass.”
“Ouch, love,” Astarion squatted beside you. He looked around your tent at the trinkets you’d accumulated and picked one up, rotating it in his hands. A tiny statue of a mermaid, her face sculpted in midsong. “Heavy little bugger,” he said, testing its weight in his hands.
“It’s made of iron, I think,” you said. 
“And you’re going to make us lug it into the Underdark? Rather selfish of you, don’t you think?”
You snatched the figure out of his hands. “Can I help you with something, Astarion?”
He spread out his legs and leaned back against a chest you kept close-by. “Not particularly.” He rested his arms behind his head, very clearly trying to flex his arms to keep your attention on him.
You laughed and pushed him, making him fall sideways. “Stop trying to distract me and go pack your own stuff up. I will not help you when you’re inevitably scrambling later.”
“Yes, you will,” he said, using your shoulder to help himself stand up. He squeezed it once before heading back in the direction of his tent. 
“No, I won’t!” you called after him, but he turned and cupped his hand to his ear again, pretending he couldn’t hear you. You groaned loudly and continued packing. 
“Hate to say it, Soldier,” said Karlach, whose tent was set up between yours and Astarion’s, “but you probably will help him.”
You sighed heavily. “I know.”
~~~~~
It hadn’t been as bad as you thought.
You’d had the foresight to keep your belongings relatively close together, making use of the traveler’s chest you all shared. Once you’d gathered all your possessions and dismantled your tent, you placed everything you couldn’t carry on your person into the chest. Karlach had helped Halsin lift the trunk, full to the brim with everyone’s overflow, into an ox wagon that you all planned on taking with you to the ruined goblin camp and down into the Underdark below. Even Astarion had managed to gather most of his things before inevitably earning your help with a bat of his eyes.
It had taken maybe two hours total, but looking around the area that you had called home for the last few weeks, it was as if your party had never been there to begin with. It was a little sad to be leaving, but you were pleased with the progress you all had made and were ready to keep moving forward in order to get these damn worms out of your skulls.
The trek into the Underdark, meanwhile, was long and frustrating; Gale had to cast Feather Fall on half of your team, the ox cart, and Scratch and the Owlbear cub, while the other half of you used the deceptively long ladder down into the abandoned Selunite outpost below - much to Shadowheart’s dismay. 
Much to Astarion’s dismay, you’d actually stumbled upon a colony of Miconids after bumbling through a battle with a pair of minotaurs and looking for a place to rest. It was there that you spoke with the head of their colony, Sovereign Spaw, about eliminating a clan of Duergar dwarves threatening their population.
Which was how you now found yourself smugly walking beside Astarion as Gale and Shadowheart led the way towards the supposed Duergar hideout. The rest of your party had (begrudgingly, in the case of Lae’zel) agreed to help Halsin set up camp close to the Miconids and their beautiful glowing mushrooms, and had stayed behind.
“You must wipe that stupid expression off your face, darling,” Astarion rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Otherwise you might get stuck like that.”
“I told you they were real.” You waggled your eyebrows in victory.
“And their music was far less irritating than yours,” he teased. “So I suppose that was nice.”
“Bastard,” you muttered. “I’d love to play something with them when we get back.”
“You would.”
“Ass hat.”
“Loud mouth.”
“Would you two shut it?” Gale turned and quietly shouted. “We’re swiftly approaching the Duergar clan, according to Sovereign Spaw’s directions.”
“I still think we should have rested for the evening,” Astarion complained. “A specimen such as myself requires copious amounts of beauty sleep.”
You withheld a yawn, willing the vampire not to see it. You were still tired from your lack of sleep this morning, and your romp in the river. Not to mention the hike to get down here, and the minotaurs you’d already faced. You were able to get a short rest in at the colony, but you were definitely feeling it, and you didn’t want to worry your teammates. Plus you knew Astarion would never let you hear the end of it, given his protests about it earlier today.
“Enough, Astarion,” Shadowheart groaned. “You heard Spaw; the Duergar are a looming threat to their colony. We couldn’t risk a possible ambush in the night. Especially with all the refugees seeking shelter there.”
Astarion sighed. “And, I suppose I must admit, I like the sovereign’s approach. A little genocidal, but effective.”
“Yes, great, you’ll get your fill of blood, now would you hush!” Gale halted, causing the rest of you to stop, too. “Something’s wrong.”
You surveyed your surroundings. Wooden structures stood decaying all around, from bridges, to long forgotten buildings, and nets once used for ladders. It had probably been home to a village of people at one time.
“Looks abandoned,” you supplied.
Off in the distance you could make out a lake through some fog. Boats rocked gently against a worn looking dock, illuminated by purple crystals that populated the area. That must be the lake that Spaw had described. But wait
 were those-? Lit torches?
You were about to take a step forward to investigate further, but Astarion held out an arm to block you. 
“I smell a trap,” he warned.
Suddenly an arrow shot past your ear and landed in a wooden post behind you.
“That’s quite a sense of smell you have,” Gale quipped, prepping a spell in his hands. “Think you could sniff out where that arrow came from?”
Your eyes frantically searched the area but couldn’t make anything out. 
“Duck!” Shadowheart shouted, as a flaming arrow seemed to appear out of thin air and hurdle towards your party. 
You hit the deck, lifting your head ever so slightly in the direction where the arrow came flying from. A figure appeared out of nowhere as you watched, taking a step to the side to hide behind a wall. That explained it.
“Our attackers are using an Invisibility spell,” you said quietly. “If we can get them to attack us, we can break the spell and see them clearly before they have the chance to cast it again.”
“Sounds fairly dangerous,” Gale muttered, holding a hand to his chin in thought.
“Do you have any better ideas?” Shadowheart whispered, pulling her shield and morning star off of her back. 
“Not really,” Gale said after thinking for a moment. 
Astarion, meanwhile, had already unsheathed his daggers. “Let’s spill some blood.” A wicked grin graced his features. 
“Let’s think about this for a second,” you said, holding out an arm to block him from getting up and feeling him deflate. You peered around the large rock that you and your companions had ducked behind. Platforms were littered throughout the decrepit village, perfect for you all to spread out. Quietly, you removed your lute and your backpack. 
“Now’s not really the time to serenade us with a sappy love song, dearest,” Astarion said, his eyes on your loose lute that he’d recently gifted you. 
“Shut up, and take this,” you said, handing him a scroll of Misty Step that you pulled out of your bag. You handed one to Shadowheart as well. “Gale, how are you doing on magic?”
Gale flexed his hands, the purple of the Weave sparking at his fingertips. “Good enough to take out a few dwarves, I’d say. But I have my crossbow if necessary.”
You nodded and turned to Shadowheart. “You?”
She nodded back at you. “I should have enough for some healing if anyone needs it, but I’ll stick to cantrips if I can.”
You nodded again, thinking deeply. “Okay, our magic is running kind of low, so we have to be smart about this.”
Astarion cleared his throat. “Aren’t you going to ask me about my magic, darling?”
Shadowheart laughed humorlessly. “Oh, please. As if you won’t rely entirely on those knives of yours.”
He scoffed. “I’ll have you know, I’m also very skilled with a bow.”
You sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t rest more before we had to do this.”
“The life of a hero is not an easy one,” Gale pointed out. “One cannot always put their feet up by the hearth when lives are at stake.”
“Speak for yourself,” Astarion rolled his eyes. 
“What’s the plan?” Shadowheart asked you. “We might want to hurry, given they know our location and we don’t know theirs.”
“I was thinking we all cast Misty Step,” you turned back around to look over the boulder and pointed to the various empty structures, “and land on those platforms.”
“Ah, the high ground! Very logical,” Gale nodded in approval.
“But do we want to be out in the open? They’ll shoot at us and we won’t have any cover.” Shadowheart raised a good point.
“I’ll cause a distraction,” you said, “no worries.”
Astarion clicked his tongue. “I hate the sound of that.”
“What do you mean?! I’m great at distractions!”
Rather than responding, Astarion hummed skeptically. Then he leaned forward to kiss you sweetly. “I’m going to go kill some dwarves now.” With that, he unfurled the scroll, recited “inveniam viam,” and you watched as he disappeared and reappeared on a platform hidden in darkness. You lost sight of him as he vanished into the shadows and turned back to face Gale and Shadowheart.
“Be smart with your magic, and be safe.” Both of them nodded wordlessly at you and prepared to cast Misty Step. You picked up your lute and stood up straight. “See you on the other side,” you winked and started descending down a hill towards your hidden enemies. 
Strumming a quiet tune, you created a Minor Illusion around yourself to look like a traveling musician, rather than an armored spellcaster. You slung your lute back around onto your back. 
“Sorry!” you called, holding your hands up above your head as if in surrender. You spotted an armored dwarf on a wooden walkway up ahead, currently visible, and walked towards him. “So sorry!”
“What?” The dwarf looked surprised by your unarmed approach. “Gehk! Got someone sneaking up on us!”
“No!” you assured. “My band mates and I,” you pointed your thumb over your shoulder towards the area where you’d been spotted with your companions, “we got a little turned around. See, we thought there might be a secluded place down here to practice for our upcoming gig, and well, we didn’t know you were already here, and-”
“Too loud, sun-scum,” came a voice from above you. You looked up to see another Duergar on a platform overhead. He wore an amulet of the Absolute and had a large battle axe strapped to his back. “Could hear you and your mates stumbling. Can hear you blinking.” 
“That seems unlikely,” you muttered. Your eyes wandered around, pretending to look for more dwarves in the area, but really checking to make sure your companions were in position. 
“Noise gets you eaten down here,” the dwarf with the amulet went on. “Reckon I’ll hush you before something hungry comes along.” 
“You’d hurt an unarmed musician?” You held your hands up higher.
The dwarf above you barked out a laugh. “Nice try, bard.” He spat the word. “Saw you lot from a mile away. Your little disguise is pitiful.”
Something seemed off. You felt a chill run down your spine as something brushed against you. The illusion of your plain clothes fell away, revealing your armor. You had a feeling your invisible foes had you surrounded. 
“Now,” said the dwarf, “where are your little friends hiding?”
You laughed. “I was just going to ask! Why would you all surround me when my little friends are over there?” You nodded your head towards one of the platforms.
The dwarf’s eyes widened as he spotted Shadowheart, whose hands were poised with a Firebolt spell. “They’re up there!” Before the dwarf could point, an arrow pierced through his shoulder from behind, knocking him forward off the platform. You sidestepped his falling body and made eye contact with Astarion who smirked down at you. 
“Attack!” The first dwarf you spoke to shouted, and all hell broke loose. 
Light surrounded you as Shadowheart cast Bless, and you were able to out-maneuver the dwarf who’d yelled as the light momentarily blinded him. Arrows flew towards Astarion, who’d been the first to shoot, and with those arrows, multiple dwarves’ Invisibility spells broke. Astarion was able to easily dodge and avoid the onslaught of attacks, thanks to the advantage of being on higher ground. You grabbed your lute and cast Shatter, causing the dwarves around you to fly backwards in a wave of thunder. Gale launched fiery arrows at your foes, and Shadowheart summoned a Spiritual Weapon to fight for you all on the ground below.
“You’re here because of those rotflowers, aren’t you?” The dwarf with the Absolute pendant got to his feet and pulled the arrow out of his shoulder. “You reek of justice and good deeds.”
“Funny,” you said, using the pommel of your rapier to push a now visible dwarf off the platform you were on, “and I just took a bath this morning.”
“Would you classify that as a bath?” Astarion called down to you, mischief in his eyes.
You smiled, but could already feel yourself starting to lose steam, even though the battle had just started. Still, you pressed on and cast another Shatter, scattering your enemies further and buying you some time to catch your breath. “And what would you classify it as?”
“I can think of many things, but we’re in such polite company, I shan’t say.” He shot a flaming arrow down onto the beach and hit multiple dwarves at once in the explosion. 
“I don’t like whatever’s happening here,” the dwarf with the Absolute amulet said. “But I’ll make you pay for siding with those mushroom abominations.” The dwarf raised his hands and uttered a spell you didn't recognize, but a cacophony of noise from below caught your attention. The lapse in focus cost you, as one of the dwarves you’d been fending off pushed you off the platform.
You heard your companions yell your name as you landed hard in the sand below. It took you a second to regain your bearings before you realized what the sound had been. Fallen Duergar were now rising, life not returning to their eyes, but risen all the same.
Animate Dead. 
You’d heard of this spell; had seen it in action with Mayrina’s husband, Connor. But you had yet to see it used in battle. 
Now you were surrounded by undead dwarves, hell bent on tearing you apart. 
“Hi,” was all you could manage through the spinning of your head. You blinked a few times before blocking the heavy strike of an axe with your slim rapier. When it was clear that the axe was going to prevail, you rolled out of the way and the axe connected with the sand that had been beneath your head. 
“Are you alright?” Shadowheart called after hitting you with a Healing Word. 
You squared your shoulders and entered into a fighting stance. “Better now, thanks!” While it was true, you were still exhausted and could feel your magic actively getting weaker. You’d have to remind yourself to get a sturdier sword after this battle. You heard a clang as Shadowheart’s Spiritual Weapon was destroyed by a few zombies that now turned their attention on you.
“Hardly the place, darling,” Astarion called, downing one of the zombies in front of you with an arrow of ice. “Dying down here? Embarrassing.”
“Stop talking and help her kill the bloody things!” Gale yelled, still slinging spells and arrows at the dwarves from up on the platforms. 
The undead kept rushing at you, and you were able to keep them at bay with brandishes of your rapier and weaker casts of Thunderwave, but it was getting harder and harder to fight back. Meanwhile, living dwarves had made it to the other platforms and started climbing up to your companions. Astarion’s help began to dwindle as his attention was split between you and the dwarves he had to face head on with his daggers. You could hear less and less of Gale’s magic as he opted fully for his crossbow, especially now with dwarves attempting to climb up to him. Shadowheart was facing the same obstacles, instead swinging her morningstar and shoving her shield to throw dwarves from the platform. 
“Guys,” you said, not as loudly as you would have hoped. There was too much going on. Even if you did manage to raise your voice, it would be hard to hear you over the sounds of fire arrows and spells. 
“Guys,” you tried again but to no avail. You cast a small Cure Wounds on yourself, but instantly regretted it. You could have saved that spell for an offensive attack, and now you felt yourself completely depleted of magic, despite trying your best to use it sparingly. Which was difficult when you were surrounded by enemies and your companions were occupied with their own battles. You were just one person. This was too much.
The undead dwarves still standing were backing you up against a cluster of boulders in the center of the beach. 
This was okay. You were fine! You’d been in tough spots before and you and your team had always come out on top. You could do this. Undead dwarves? Pah! What kind of lethal damage could someone with dead muscle inflict, right? Sure, Astarion was undead and he was a vicious killer, but that was Astarion, and these dwarves had just been resurrected. They were just getting their sea legs! Life
. legs? It didn’t matter. They probably couldn’t even think for themselves. You could handle this.
With a boost of confidence from your mental pep talk, you surged forward, away from the center of the beach, and stabbed a zombie through the chest. The visceral sound of metal entering flesh was loud and oddly satisfying.
“Ah ha!” you shouted as the zombie slumped to the ground. 
But the stab had been louder than your slim blade should have been able to muster. You pulled the blade out of the slumped zombie to inspect, but upon looking down, you saw silver glinting with red through your midsection. 
Another zombie had come up behind you and cleaved you with his axe. The head of it peaked out through your stomach.
You heard your name roared from somewhere up above.
The metallic taste of your own blood rushed into your mouth as your vision started to blur. You fell to your knees.
“Guys,” you said one more time.
Then everything went black.
~~~~~
In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian. 
Despite Karlach’s cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it.
And right now, he was entering a rage.
Red. 
That was all he saw. 
Red, and the corpses of the dwarves who dared cross his path on his way down to you.
He hadn’t witnessed it.
Had been too caught up in his own hacking and slashing to see the moment when the axe had made its way through your torso. But he had smelled it. Instantly, he had recognized the sweet notes of your blood entering the air. That’s when he’d looked down and saw the state of you. He’d screamed your name, far louder than any of the magic and explosions that were still triggering in the fight. 
Shadowheart and Gale’s heads snapped down to look at you, terror in their eyes. And yet they still had to fight. The zombies surrounding your unconscious form began to move away from you and up towards them instead. 
Astarion downed dwarves left and right, going overboard in his violence on the warpath to get you into his arms. 
“Shadowheart!” he yelled, as if she wasn’t already aware of the situation.
“I know!” she shouted back. “I can try a Healing Word but my magic’s nearly spent!”
“Do it! NOW!” Astarion bellowed as he sliced through the abdomen of a dwarf preparing to fire a spell. He heard a chant of “te curo,” followed by the aqua magic that usually came with a healing spell, but you remained motionless in the sand. 
“The wound is too deep and my magic isn’t strong enough!” Shadowheart slung her morning star into the head of a Duergar that had successfully climbed up to her platform. 
Gale looked over to Shadowheart and the two shared a brief, silent conversation before Gale nodded and Misty Stepped down to you.
“Don’t you touch her, wizard!” Astarion yelled as he fought his way through what once must have been a house of some kind. “Unless you can bring her back up!” His daggers stabbed through the Duergar with the Absolute amulet; the one who’d raised those dead in the first place. Astarion made sure his death was extra painful with each twist of his knives.
“Be reasonable, Astarion!” Gale yelled back and shot an arrow at one of the zombies still slinking across the beach. He bent and attempted to get you to swallow some healing potion. You’d already lost a lot of blood.
“She’s DYING!” Astarion bellowed before jumping down, out of the house, and down onto the beach. He made a sound of pain as he landed, but stumbled as quickly as he could over to you on his hands and knees. 
Before he reached you, however, he spotted an unarmed zombie halfway up a ladder. That must have been the vile creature whose blade was still lodged in you. He made a beeline for the abomination and pulled it down with enough force to rip the rope that made up the ladder it was climbing. His blades were entering the zombie repeatedly before he even realized he’d pinned it to the ground. It stopped moving fairly soon after its first stab wound, but Astarion wouldn’t let up.
“It’s dead, Astarion!” Gale said, trying to bring him back to reality. “Truly dead!”
Astarion finally stopped and breathed heavily. He abandoned the corpse and made his way over to you, sinking to his knees.
“You’re okay,” he cooed. “Help is here.” He gently pulled you into his lap, careful not to touch the axe head. “I’ve got you.”
“She’s still alive,” Gale confirmed. “I gave her some healing potion and checked her pulse.”
Astarion wasn’t listening. He rocked back and forth, wiping matted hair out of your face. “Darling,” he said quietly, “you’re too pretty to die. And look at all the precious blood you’ve wasted.” You shifted a little and he paused. 
Your eyes opened briefly. When you realized it was Astarion looking down at you, you smiled. 
“Hi,” you said weakly.
Astarion laughed, but it was a choked, mangled thing. “Hello, my love.”
“That hurt,” you said, smiling blearily until your eyes closed again. He brought his forehead lightly to yours.
Gale touched his shoulder. “Take her to Halsin. He’ll be able to help more than any of us at the moment.”
Astarion wanted to argue, but knew that Gale was probably right. Annoying bastard. 
“Help me, would you?” He made to stand up and Gale moved to help guide you gently into Astrion’s arms as he stood. The axe rested uncomfortably between the two of you, but Astarion knew better than to try and pull it out without the proper healing implements nearby to stop the bleeding. 
“We’ll be fine here,” Gale said, shooting another arrow at a dwarf on his way to Shadowheart. “You cleared most of the sorry mongrels just now, anyway.”
“I don’t recall asking,” Astarion snapped, readjusting how he was holding you. 
“Only trying to help,” Gale said sharply. “None of us want to see her suffer.”
Astarion sighed. “I know,” he admitted.
Gale placed a hand on his shoulder again. “Proprae,” he said, and warm magic surrounded Astarion. “Longstrider,” Gale explained. “It’ll get you to Halsin faster. Now go.”
Astarion nodded and took off back towards the Myconid colony.
“You just had to play hero, didn’t you?” He didn’t look down at you as he sidestepped purple crystals and wayward wooden planks. “Couldn’t stay back for once and let someone else handle it.”
You coughed a little and peered up at him. “I do it for the glory,” you wheezed with a joking smile.
Astarion’s eyes flicked to you for a second. “There are better ways to get attention, darling.” He smiled despite himself. “Now stop talking, please. Save that strength.”
Rather than argue further, you closed your eyes again and nuzzled your face into his neck. You were so tired. And cold. Numbness had overtaken your body except for a dull ache in your midsection. You didn’t even realize when you slipped away again.
Astarion felt you go slightly more limp and swore, dodging exploding mushrooms and trying to remember the way back to the Myconids. 
“Don’t you dare leave me,” he growled. “Not now. Not you.” He refused to shed a tear. You’d be okay, and then he’d have words with you about your pesky bleeding heart. 
Speaking of bleeding, he didn’t like how easily he could smell your blood. Usually he’d be thrilled to be surrounded by such an intoxicating aroma, but right now it was making him sick to his stomach. 
“Do you know how selfish you are?” he asked, knowing you wouldn’t respond. “Wasting all this blood. Some of us need a proper meal.”
He hated your silence. Hated that you weren’t strong enough to tell him he could feed from you if he wanted because of course you would. Or maybe you’d come up with some sort of jab about him being selfish for thinking about food at a time like this. He missed your voice.
“How dare you scare me like this, you stubborn clod.” 
In the distance, he saw the glowing mushrooms of the colony. He ducked his head and willed himself to run even faster. 
“Where are they?!” Astarion shouted to a mushroom sentry at the entrance. The Myconid remained stoic, but flashed a somber song through Astarion’s mind. “Not helpful!” he shouted as he ran up the steps.
There! That halfling woman who’d asked you all to find her bumbling husband.
“You!” he yelled, his eyes wild. “The group I was traveling with! Where did they go?!”
The halfling woman fumbled for words, shocked at the bloody sight of you before her.
“Tell me!” he exclaimed.
“I believe they found a clearing not far off. The druid came by earlier to swap herbs.”
Astarion didn’t respond before booking it again, the Myconids singing a mournful ballad to him as he passed them. 
“HALSIN!” he screamed when he left through the other entrance of the colony. “WYLL! KARLACH! LAE’ZEL! YOU BLASTED WHELPS, WHERE ARE YOU?!” He kept running, following along a path of glowing mushrooms.
“Astarion?” It was Wyll.
“WHERE ARE YOU?!” Astarion repeated, recalibrating to run towards the sound of his voice.
“OVER HERE!” Karlach shouted, and Astarion saw Scratch appear from around a corner a short distance away, followed closely by Karlach. Wyll and Lae’zel caught up behind them.
“Dear gods,” Wyll murmured before running into camp and creating a space for you. 
“I’ll get Halsin!” Karlach turned and ran.
“Kaincha,” Lae’zel breathed as Astarion passed her.
“Lay her here,” Wyll said, having prepped a bedroll next to the fire.
“Like hells is she going on the bloody ground,” Astarion hissed, looking around for something more comfortable. “Grab my pillows,” he nodded from Wyll to the ox cart. 
Wyll nodded and ran to the cart before coming back and beginning to fashion a makeshift mattress. 
Lae’zel looked around for Gale and Shadowheart. “Where are the others?”
“Damned Duergars. They’re in a rotting village by the lake southwest of here.”
“I shall avenge our fallen,” she nodded before running to her tent, grabbing her greatsword and taking off in the direction Astarion had come in from. 
“She’s not dead yet,” Astarion muttered as Halsin and Karlach entered the space frantically. “There you are!” He addressed Halsin icily. He had yet to put you down. 
Halsin ignored Astarion in favor of approaching you and assessing the damage. He held multiple bowls and jars of unknown substances, and his face gave nothing away. “Bring her this way,” he said, motioning for Astarion to follow him. Halsin led him to a giant mushroom cap. “Lay her down here.” He set down the materials he was holding nearby.
“On a damn mushroom? You must be joking.” Astarion held you tighter.
“Astarion,” Halsin said gently, “I’m going to help her. You have to trust me.”
Astarion narrowed his eyes and reassessed the mushroom. It did look soft, and big enough for your whole body to spread out on. He looked at Halsin again who remained calm and collected. Astarion nodded.
Halsin nodded back and helped him untangle you from his arms. “We’re going to lay her on her side,” he instructed, and Astarion did his best to roll you gently onto the mushroom cap. 
“How can we help?” Wyll asked, making Astarion jump. He’d forgotten about anyone outside of his current line of sight. 
“Fetch my pack, if you would, Wyll,” Halsin said. 
Wyll nodded and ran towards Halsin’s tent on the other side of camp. 
“And me?” Karlach asked. 
“Can you heat up some water?”
“You got it,” she said before rushing to grab a bucket.
Halsin held out his hand, golden magic emitting from his palm. He closed his eyes and hovered his hand up and down your body.
“Well?” Astarion asked impatiently. 
Halsin opened his eyes and Astarion caught a flash of panic in them.
No.
“We need to get this axe out as soon as possible,” Halsin explained. “She’s going to lose more blood, but you were right to leave it in on the battlefield.”
It was then that Wyll came back, lugging Halsin’s backpack, along with other supplies he deemed might be useful.
“So get it out and heal her!” Astarion exclaimed.
“I’ll do my best, Astarion, but you’ll have to be patient.” 
“Where’s Withers?” Astarion looked around but caught no glimpse of the skeleton.
“He said he’d find us once we’re settled,” Wyll reminded him kindly. 
“If we lose her and he can’t bring her back, I’m ending him.” Astarion knew how unlikely it was that he’d be able to kill someone who brought people back from the dead for a living (why Withers needed a living in the first place was still a mystery), but he needed someone to threaten. He was terrified. 
“Astarion,” Halsin said, “I’ll need you to help me remove her clothes. Wyll, can you prepare some bandages?”
Wyll nodded and began to gather materials from Halsin’s bag. 
Astarion hesitated before unsheathing his daggers to help cut the leather armor off of your body. Halsin helped maneuver your limbs out of it until you were left in what once was a white shirt, now a deep red around your midsection.
“Her shirt as well,” Halsin said. “Your skill with a knife is far more refined than mine.”
Astarion frowned, knowing you’d probably hate being shirtless in front of everyone, but shook off the thought in favor of helping Halsin heal you. He quickly and carefully cut your shirt away from your body, depositing it on another mushroom nearby, and leaving you in nothing but your undergarments. The gash in your back was brutal, and rather than stare at it, Astarion took your hand. It was growing cold, but he could sense your blood still pumping beneath your skin. 
“She’s so weak,” he murmured. 
“She’s a fighter,” Halsin put a hand on Astarion’s shoulder before moving to mix some sort of elixir he had in one of the bowls he’d brought over. “My magic isn’t strong enough to heal her all by itself, not completely, but Oak Father willing, she’ll make it through this.”
“She better,” Astarion growled, still holding your hand, squeezing it harder than he knew he should. 
Halsin smiled faintly, then moved around to your head. He tipped your head back and made you swallow the contents of the bowl he’d just been mixing.
“And what-”
“That should keep her from waking up right away.” Halsin came back to stand behind you and examined the state of the axe.
“So, she won’t feel any pain?” Astarion asked.
“She shouldn’t.”
“Okay,” was all Astarion could manage to say, hoping that was enough to convey his gratitude to the druid.
Halsin nodded and motioned for Astarion to hold you in place. “Wyll, can you help with this?”
“Of course,” Wyll moved around the mushroom to hold you from the other side. 
“I’m going to remove the axe,” Halsin said. “She’s going to bleed more, but I should be able to stop it with what I’ve brought with me.”
“Enough talking,” Astarion held you tight. “Get to the healing part already!”
Halsin frowned, but nodded. “Steady now,” he said, placing his hands on the wooden handle of the axe. “Ready?”
“Yes!” Astarion snapped.
Halsin let out a calming breath before pulling on the axe. Everyone held their breath to make sure you didn’t cry out in pain. When you didn’t, Halsin continued, taking the blade out in one smooth motion. 
As he’d said, you began bleeding more profusely and Astarion let out a pathetic whining sound. Halsin immediately held out his hands, aqua healing magic surrounding you from both sides. Astarion couldn’t look away as your skin knit itself back together, a clear scar forming in its wake.
The aqua magic faded and Halsin instantly dipped his hand in some sort of salve and began rubbing it along your back. 
“Wyll,” Halsin said, handing him a bowl with an identical salve. “Please cover the wound on her stomach with this.”
“I’ll do it,” Astarion said, moving around the mushroom to your front. Wyll handed him the salve and he went to work spreading a generous amount along your stomach. 
“Sorry,” said Karlach, running up with a steaming bucket of water. “I was looking for where we packed all our towels.” She held up a few. “I found them.” 
“Thank you, Karlach,” Halsin said. “We can start cleaning the area around her wounds.”
Karlach bounced on her feet. “Um
 I’ll incinerate her if I try to help with that.”
“I know what you can do,” Astarion said flatly, focusing deeply on globbing enough salve onto your stomach. He lifted his head and nodded towards the axe on the ground behind Halsin. “You can destroy that wretched blade.”
Karlach smiled and cracked her knuckles. “I’ll make it wish it was never fucking born.”
“Blades aren’t born, Karlach,” Wyll said, wiping blood away from your skin with the warm water she provided.
“And yet, this one will die a fiery death,” she smirked, flaring her flames menacingly. She took off, presumably to be as hot as she pleased without endangering others.
“Can one of you help me sit her upright?” Halsin addressed the two men still tending to you.
“Sure,” Astarion said, noticeably calmer now that you weren’t actively bleeding. “How are her, um
 her innards?”
Halsin smiled. “If you’re referring to internal bleeding, the potion I gave her and the spell I cast should be enough to have stopped it. But she’s still very fragile. I’d imagine it will take her some time to fully recover.” He once again held out his hand and cast a golden spell from his palm like he had earlier. “Yes, the internal bleeding has stopped. Though I’d suggest not giving into any carnal desires until she’s completely healed.”
“Carnal- I don’t want to have sex with her like this!” Astarion looked offended. “Who do you take me for?”
Halsin chuckled. “I didn’t think you would, but it still needed to be said.”
“Of all the-” Astarion narrowed his eyes but didn’t finish the thought. “You needed help getting her upright?” 
“Yes, she’ll need to be bandaged up. It’s possible she’ll bleed again depending on her movements in her sleep and various other factors, but she’ll also need to keep reapplying fresh salves to prevent infection and minimize scarring.”
Astarion nodded as Wyll finished washing away most of the blood on your back. 
“Let’s lie her on her back first,” Halsin said. 
Astarion and Wyll helped to gently roll you onto your back, and Halsin helped sit you up straight. Astarion came up quickly to place a gentle hand on your chest and another on your back to keep you upright as Halsin began to wrap bandages around your torso. 
Though your head was tipped forward in your unconscious state, Astarion whispered encouragements in your ear that Halsin and Wyll politely pretended not to hear.
“You’re going to be okay, my love. Soon I’ll get to look into your pretty eyes again and hear your lovely voice. Everything is going to be okay.”
~~~~~
Everything is going to be okay.
How could that be true when you were drowning?
Surrounded by inky blackness. Floating through nothingness.
Your limbs were heavy. And more than anything, you were tired. So, so tired. 
You’d messed up. You’d allowed yourself to fight, even though you knew you weren’t at your best, just because you didn’t want your friends to be upset. Right? They had been people you cared about? And now the last thing you remembered was being curled into someone’s side as they ran, presumably, to find help. 
Idiot.
You were an idiot. 
The person had looked so scared. 
This was all your fault. You hated being the one to cause a problem. You had to be good. You had to do everything right so no one would have to worry about you.
The person who’d held you so close and protectively shouldn’t have to worry about you. 
Whoever they were. 
You vaguely remembered saying something to them, but you couldn’t recall what it was or why you’d said it. You faintly remember making them snicker, at least.
You’re doing so well, darling. Hang in there.
It didn’t feel like you were doing so well. And yet the words filled you with comfort. Somewhere, a thousand miles away, you felt someone squeezing your hand. 
We’re going to move you now, but we’ll be gentle.
That was very kind of them. You were having trouble moving through this darkness. 
Easy, now. 
Was it possible to swim towards the voice? It sounded like it might be within reach, even though mere moments ago it had seemed incredibly distant and far-off.
You’ll be much more comfortable here, my love.
Though your head was filled with fog, something in your gut told you to go to the voice. You knew it was familiar, but you couldn’t make the connection. With all the strength you could muster, you kicked your legs as hard as you could and pulled yourself along with your arms. 
Don’t worry, my sweet, I’m not going anywhere.
Thank you, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t quite grasp the words.
Try as you might to swim towards the voice, it remained just out of reach, a wall of pain shooting through your abdomen whenever you got too close. 
I’m here, you tried to tell the voice. I can’t reach you.
Sleep now.
It hurts.
I’ll be here when you’re ready. 
Please.
~~~~~
Your sleep was fitful. It had taken about an hour before you’d started thrashing unconsciously and moaning in pain.
“Something’s wrong,” Astarion called, emerging from your tent. 
He and the others had moved you onto the makeshift mattress Wyll had created, and built your tent around you, next to Astarion’s. Or what would be Astarion’s; he had yet to set up his space, having spent all his time at camp so far by your side. 
Shadowheart, Gale, and Lae’zel had arrived at camp about half an hour after Astarion had rushed in with your unconscious form, all three covered in generous amounts of blood and gore. They had immediately asked after the state of you and were pleased to see you bandaged and sleeping soundly.
Now, however, that wasn’t the case.
Halsin and Shadowheart were quick to check on you. 
Shadowheart felt your forehead and frowned. “She’s burning up.”
“Likely fighting a possible infection,” Halsin hypothesized.
“Well, can anything be done?!” Astarion asked, taking his place next to you again and holding your hand in both of his. 
Halsin watched him carefully. “Actually, your cooling touch may bring her some comfort, Astarion.” He looked to Shadowheart, who nodded slowly.
“She needs to cool down. I’ll fetch some cold water, but Halsin is correct. You may be exactly what she needs. But don’t let that go to your head.”
“Of course I’m exactly what she needs,” Astarion puffed his chest, “but it’s nice to hear that that’s true in more ways than one.”
Shadowheart rolled her eyes before leaving and muttering, “Why do I even bother?”
Astarion looked to Halsin. “She’ll be okay?”
Halsin smiled softly. “She’ll need water and nutrients to help fight the fever, but with you by her side, I presume she’ll be better in no time.”
“Right then, get out of here,” Astarion said, waving him away and looking slightly embarrassed. 
Halsin chuckled. “I’ll prepare some food for her.”
“Yes, go bother someone else with your sappiness.”
Halsin paused in the entrance of your tent. “Being vulnerable is not a weakness, Astarion. It’s quite clear how much you love her, and that’s incredibly-.”
“You need to leave,” Astarion snapped and dropped your hand, physically shooing a laughing Halsin out of your tent. “Be useful, why don’t you?” he called after him coolly as Halsin made his way over to where Gale was preparing tonight’s meal. The vampire closed the flaps of your tent firmly.
Love?
He shook his head. He was worried about you, yes, but that was because he
 cared about you. More than he cared about anyone else at this freakish camp. And that was
 fine. It was fine that he cared about you because you cared about him, too. And that was important because caring meant safety and protection.
Which is why he’d been so panicked about finding help for you! Obviously! If you weren’t around to protect him, who would? Not Gale, that’s for sure. No, Astarion was looking out for you for purely selfish reasons.
Right?
You made a tiny sound of discomfort and he was by your side instantly, holding his hand to your forehead, and then pressing both of his palms to your cheeks. He felt your body sag and watched the features of your face relax a little.
“There, now,” he cooed. “Doesn’t that feel better?”
He paused and narrowed his eyes in thought. 
That was troubling.
He refused to think any deeper on the subject. Instead, he undid all the straps and clasps of his armor, trying to be as quiet as possible as he removed it all, then placed it outside so it wouldn’t take up any of your space. Next, he rearranged some extra pillows that Wyll had brought by your tent to make a space where he could lie next to you. Once he’d done that, he removed his undershirt and laid next to you properly.
“Come here, my darling,” he said quietly, snuggling himself into your side. His body jolted reflexively at how hot your torso was, but quickly moved back into position and wrapped his arms around you as gently as he could. Your face scrunched in discomfort for a moment before settling into something akin to peace.
Astarion watched your chest rise and fall quietly, and let out a silent sigh of relief. One of his hands absently fiddled with the ends of your hair. You’d need a bath at some point. So would he, for that matter. You were both still covered in gore and filth, and some strands of your hair were bound together by enemy blood. Astarion didn’t much feel like licking it off of you or tasting their blood in any capacity, unless he could watch the life drain from their eyes as he drank them dry. But he’d hate every minute of it. He found your taste to be his favorite.
His favorite.
So, you were his favorite. Who cared! He knew it! Everyone at camp knew it! It didn’t need to be any deeper than that.
He exhaled through his nose. Being vulnerable was a weakness. Any of his siblings would tell you that. Show one shred of fragility towards anything and it would be torn away from you and exploited in any number of violent and cruel ways. He couldn’t let that happen to you.
“Can I come in?” Shadowheart’s voice was quiet, but loud enough to shake Astarion from his thoughts.
“Yes,” he answered.
She pulled back the flaps of the tent and paused, taking in the scene before her.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said slowly, entering the tent with a bucket of water and a few clean cloths. 
“Not at all, I’m simply taking advantage of this furnace,” Astarion gestured up and down your body. “The Underdark gets so chilly at night. Who knew?”
“Uh huh,” Shadowheart nodded and felt your forehead before dipping a cloth into the water, wringing it out and placing it there. “You know,” she began, “and I hate saying this-”
“Do go on, then.”
“Ugh. I really hate saying this, but
 she’s lucky to have you.”
“Shadowheart!” Astarion sounded quietly flabbergasted. “Do you mean it? Truly?” He was being overly dramatic and held a hand to his chest. 
Shadowheart avoided his gaze and dipped another cloth in the water. “I just mean
” She sighed. “I just mean, you make her happy, in your own annoying way. Even before you both started-”
“Holding hands?” Astarion batted his eyelashes.
Shadowheart rolled her eyes, but continued. “I don’t need to tell you how lucky you are to have her because I think you know that, but
 You make her laugh. You encourage her to fight better, you steal lutes for her
 And
 you get her to be selfish. Which, while I don’t agree with all of your selfish suggestions, does cause her to think of herself every once in a while. Something that’s quite hard for her, as she so competently displayed for us today when she didn’t tell us how tired she truly was.” 
“She was a lost cause before I showed up.”
“Be serious for a moment, would you?” Shadowheart placed another cloth along your neck. “That’s something you both need to work on; being serious.” She held his gaze. “We almost lost her out there today. And I don’t think you’ve thought about what that would mean for you.”
“Of course I have,” Astarion snapped. 
Shadowheart raised her eyebrows. “Our Lady of Loss teaches that-”
“Oh, don’t start with that,” Astarion said sharply. “She’s fine now. Or she will be, assuming you and the druid are correct in your assessment of her condition.”
“Pain is a part of life, Astarion.”
“Don’t say that to me,” he snapped. “You know nothing of my pain.”
Shadowheart dabbed another cold cloth across your arm that wasn’t currently cradled into Astarion’s torso. “I know that. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then what did you mean?” He was aware that he was mildly flashing his fangs in warning.
She dabbed some cold water over your shoulders. “Don’t be afraid. That's all I mean.”
“And what the hells is that supposed to mean?” Astarion narrowed his eyes. “Afraid of what?”
“You care for her.” 
“So what?” 
“You’re aware of that?”
Astarion trilled his lips in disbelief. “Of course I’m aware of that.”
“Okay,” she turned her attention to wringing a cloth of excess water.
If his arms weren’t currently wrapped around you, Astarion would have pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shadowheart, if you’re trying to tell me something, just tell me.”
“You’re allowed to love her.”
Astarion felt himself recoil away from Shadowheart, but he still held onto you. 
Shadowheart nodded calmly, searching his eyes. “We all see it. You haven’t known each other for long, but she’s changing you.”
Astarion gave her a sour expression but didn’t say anything to argue.
“She’s not what you expected, is she?”
“She-” he hesitated. “She’s not.” He looked at your slumbering face fondly. 
“I don’t think she’s what any of us expected.”
Astarion nodded, quiet for a few moments. He was too tired to pretend he was uninterested. “It’s a wonder we all found her,” he brushed a stray hair from your face. “Or, rather, clung to her. And in some cases, attacked her. Or threatened to.”
“It is,” she laughed softly. 
“Poor girl.”
Shadowheart smiled. “She saved me, up on the Nautiloid. She and Lae’zel broke me out of my pod. Though it was mostly her. Actually, it was all her.”
“That’s typical.”
Shadowheart laughed. “Very typical.” She shifted to face Astarion more directly. “We don’t know each other very well.”
“No.”
“And probably never will.”
“Fingers crossed.”
“But I know that you’re not the same person who held a knife to her throat a few weeks ago.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“Well, I would.” Shadowheart gave him a piercing look. “A few weeks ago, you would have been fine letting her bleed out on that battlefield. You possibly would have laughed at the brutality of it. Or, you would have written it off as a fine dining experience. But the Astarion I’m looking at right now was ready to burn the entire world before he saw her suffer today.” 
Astarion’s grip on you tightened minutely.
Shadowheart sighed. “I don’t like letting others get too close to me either. Partly because that is the way of Lady Shar, and partly because I’m afraid of forgetting. Or remembering. I’m not sure which is worse, truthfully.”
“What does that-”
“It doesn’t matter. My point is, our leader here makes me want to remember. Remember our times together, her kindness
 And how she makes me feel.” 
“Careful
” Astarion said slowly, narrowing his eyes but smiling slightly.
“She might be the only person I’ve ever considered to be a true friend. I think. But I know she’d do anything for any of us. And I want to remember that.”
“Okay, so commit it to memory?” Astarion was confused about all the talk of remembering. Surely Shadowheart’s memory wasn’t that bad.
“I’ll try,” she chuckled. Then, after a moment of quiet, she inhaled deeply. “All of this to say, Astarion,” she looked him in the eye again, “heartbreak is also a part of life. And while we’re lucky she’s still with us, you shouldn’t be afraid to love her. I think you want to live.”
~~~~~
Darkness.
All consuming and quiet.
But at least the pain had stopped. 
It was rather lonely here. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. Whenever you tried to move, the blackness that surrounded you gave little away as to whether you were actually moving or not. There’d been waves of extreme heat, bitter cold, and heavy nausea, and while none of that was particularly thrilling, it was nice to know that you could still feel something in this liminal space of sensory deprivation.
The voice would occasionally interrupt the profound silence to address you.
Come on, my sweet, eat just a little more. I know you can.
What are you dreaming about in there?
Are you going to wake up anytime soon, darling?
You didn’t know. No matter what you tried, it didn’t seem likely that you were close to leaving this place. And just when it felt like you were finally getting somewhere, the pain would overtake you again and stop you in your tracks. 
It was exhausting.
You felt someone squeeze your hand distantly.
Brought a book. 
Your head instinctively turned towards the voice.
Thought I might read to you. Since you’re doing an abhorrent job of entertaining me.
Something about the tone made you want to argue. You try
 whatever this is! you wanted to say.
Thought this one might be fun. “The Curse of the Vampyre.” Maybe we’ll learn something.
Vampire
 why did that word send your heart racing?
“Harken close and beware the Vampyr.” Off to a good start. “Beware its cold beauty.” True. “Beware its charm.” True. “Beware its curse.” 


True.  
Again, you had the overwhelming sensation that you knew this voice. The sense of comfort that washed over you felt all too familiar.
“How doth one protect from the beast?” When was this written? A pause, as if the voice were investigating. I’ve decided I don’t care. The voice cleared its throat. “Walk not in the blackest night, for the Vampyr loves these nights more than any other.” I was rather enjoying my time in the sun, actually. “If you must walk, do so by the light of our moon and take care.” What kind of advice is that? The moon? The moon and I get on just fine. That wouldn’t protect you, darling. “Carry the blessings and marks of your God at all times.” The voice snorted. Yes, because the Gods have cared so much about stopping my acts of debauchery in the past.
Something in the voice’s airy tone lifted an aching weight from your chest. Yes, you knew this person. You were sure of that. You could listen to them all day. Mindlessly, you drifted closer to where the voice was strongest.
“But remember, your home is your fortress, if protected well.” Hmm. “If you hear a knock in the night, be wary. Let no stranger into your home.” As if we make house calls these days. “If it be a friend, look upon them. Do you find them pallid and wan?” Rude. “See you any mark upon their neck?” Collars, darling. Though, I’ve found that most people don’t pay close enough attention anyway. Especially when you’re distracting them with- Well, you know. The voice exhaled loudly. “See you any dirt upon their clothes?” Yuck. “Unless their need is great, turn all away but the most trusted.” You trust me, don’t you, my dear?
Yes, you tried to say. Of course I trust you. 
The voice was growing louder. More clear.
Of course you do, the voice said, though you were sure it hadn’t heard you. Stupid. “And if the Beast finds a way into your home, flee.” I’d say that’s good advice, but unfortunately for you, you can’t really flee right now. And I don’t plan on leaving.
Good. You exhaled, frustrated that you couldn’t speak. 
The hand holding yours tightened mildly. 
I’m here, darling.
I know. Thank you.
It took a moment before the voice started speaking again.
“Lease love and family behind.” 
You felt an indescribable tension as the voice paused once more. Had this passage just said something important? You replayed the phrase in your head.
Family?
Love?
Love

Oh.
The voice was quieter when it spoke again. 
“You will not save them if you fight. You will not see them again. But they will see you, pale and smiling, calling them into the night.”
Astarion. 
Of course it was Astarion. How could it be anyone else?
He was here. 
With you. 
Just out of reach.
Well, that’s a rather ominous passage, isn’t it?
Astarion! you tried to say. I’m here!
Shh shh shh, he tutted. Don’t strain yourself.
Something you had said or done had gotten through to him.
Astarion! you tried again.
Nothing. You were met with silence. 
Fuck it. Fuck the pain, fuck this freakish darkness. You pulled yourself towards his voice. 
Shall I continue reading, darling?
Yes, keep talking. You winced as a flash of pain pulsed through your middle.
I’m going to skip ahead. I hope you don’t mind.
As long as I can still hear your voice. The pain was becoming more consistent and noticeable.
Ah, this sounds rather interesting: “Vampiric Duality.” Ahem. “Now look, the thing is: your basic vampire has two instincts, right? Feed and make little vampires.” Immediately, a vastly different tone. Is this even the same book? The voice paused again, presumably to check the cover. I admit, I do love to feed, but I’m not sure how much this person knows about vampiric biology. Not that Cazador ever allowed us much research into the subject

You felt yourself physically recoil at the mention of Cazador’s name and heard Astarion chuckle.
No, you’re right, darling, I won’t mention him again. He hummed and mumbled under his breath. Blah blah blah
 “The personality of a vampire has as many facets as a schizophrenic diamond?” What? I appreciate the comparison to a diamond, obviously, but a schizophrenic one? What does that even mean?
You would have laughed if you weren’t actively fighting to get to him. The pain in your torso was almost unbearable, the closer you got to his voice. Tears pricked your eyes, and every part of you hurt like nothing you’d ever experienced before. When the torment started to become white hot and all consuming, you hit what felt like a physical wall.
Ah! Listen to this part, beautiful: “Yet who doesn't adore the darkly romantic complexity of the vampire-”
You did. You adored this vampire. Though you were hurting severely, you reached out and punched against the wall that was blocking you.
Astarion! you all but wailed.
“-the gusto of their love-”
Again, you pounded with all your might, screaming out in agony and rage as the pain physically held you back from reaching out and touching him. You still couldn’t see him, but you felt his presence. So, so close.
“-the wildness of their passion!” You heard him let out a delighted laugh. 
I’m here! you shouted, using both fists to bang against this wall of pure suffering. 
Oh, my dear, if you were awake, I’d shower you with the absolute wildness of my passion. You could practically hear his smirk. I’d demonstrate the gusto of my
 well. My-
Gathering all the strength you had left, you wound back and threw your entire body against the wall. You squeezed your eyes tight as an overwhelmingly bright light spilled in and your ears began to ring.
You gasped for air, sitting up quickly, and immediately regretted it.
You heard your name said softly in disbelief and a book slamming shut.
“Ow
” you whined, clutching at your abdomen and feeling tears roll down your cheeks.
Before you could register what was happening, you felt cool palms on your cheeks and soft lips kissing all over your face. You blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation. 
“I’m so mad at you,” Astarion said, still kissing your face, his voice filled with nothing but relief.
“What
 happened?” you asked between hiccups of tears.
“Lie back down, precious,” he said, gently helping you back onto what seemed to be a pile of pillows and pulling a blanket over you. “You scared us, is what you did.” He wiped a few stray tears from your cheeks, but they kept flowing. You couldn’t stop. 
“Did I
 die?” You turned your head to look around. It looked like you were in your tent, your things strewn about somewhat neatly and similar to how it had been at your camp by the lake. A few candles were lit. 
“Nearly,” Astarion confirmed quietly. He looked exhausted. “An undead Duergar got you with his battle axe.”
“Ah,” you said, at a loss for words. “That’s not good.”
Astarion stared at you. “‘That’s not good?’ That’s all you have to say?” He held a hand to your forehead briefly. “Your fever is gone, but it’s possible you’ve got brain damage.”
You chuckled, knowing he was kidding, but the action caused a searing pain in your stomach. You let out a pathetic whine, reaching for the hurt area, but Astarion caught your wrist. 
“Careful, darling. You’ve got a pretty severe wound there.” He released you and pulled back the blanket that was draped over you. Upon looking down, you saw that nearly your entire midsection was covered in bandages. A spot of red spread slowly, disrupting the otherwise pristine white of the cotton.
“It h-urts,” you sniffled, your voice breaking. 
Astarion’s eyes were full of sympathy. “Looks like sitting up quickly may have opened the wound again.”
“Should I go get Shadowheart?” you asked without really thinking about it.
Astarion snorted. “If you think you’re strong enough to fetch the cleric, you’re delusional.”
“Oh,” was all you could say in agreement. “Should you go get Shadowheart? Or Halsin, maybe?”
He shook his head, turning away from you to rifle through some supplies that were out of your line of sight. “Everyone’s asleep, my dear.” He sat back up straight and set out a few items next to you: fresh bandages, healing potions, a salve of some sort, and a small bowl of water. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of you myself.”
You almost laughed. “How long was I out? What happened to you?”
He rolled his eyes. “You were out for nearly twelve hours, I’d say. It’s a little before dawn, I think. Though there’s no sun to go off of.”
You nodded, not sure how to feel about this information. Twelve hours was a long time. And yet it felt even longer. Like you’d been out for a lifetime. 
“As for what happened to me, well, someone I
 care about
 nearly died.” He cleared his throat. “Is it so bizarre that I want her to get better?”
You smiled. “I guess not.”
Astarion returned your smile before hooking his arms under yours and helping you sit up. Someone had stacked two chests on top of each other behind the makeshift mattress to act as a headboard, and he helped you scoot back to sit against it. 
“Careful, my sweet, the axe entered through your back. Let’s try not to lean and put pressure on it, hmm?”
You nodded, wincing when you moved incorrectly. “When did you become such a medical professional?”
He was busy prepping the new bandages. “Shadowheart showed me how to change the bandages once or twice while you were out, and Halsin provided the salves and potions.” Astarion got up onto his knees and crawled over to you, helping you scoot forward, away from the headboard. “And my sister, Dal. She was a doctor, before Cazador. She’d help the rest of us every once in a while. Especially when things got particularly brutal.”
“That’s much cooler than being a magistrate,” you teased, flinching a little in pain.
“I don’t know, magistrates can sentence people to death.” He squeezed your arm.
“No they can’t,” you laughed. Then paused. “Can they?”
Astarion shrugged. “Can’t remember, honestly.” He leaned forward to reach for where the bandage was tucked into itself on your front. “I’m going to undo this now, okay? Let me know if I hurt you at all.”
You nodded, holding his gaze.
“Oh,” he said before turning to grab a healing potion. He handed it to you. “This should help.”
You took it and downed it as Astarion began to carefully unwrap the bandages. You could feel the unpleasant sting of something having dried beneath the cloth that was now being tugged at as the bandage was unraveling. 
Astarion was nothing but complete focus as he reached his arms around you and back towards himself, carefully unwrapping you. You watched him the entire time. 
“I heard you, you know.”
He looked at you, the corner of his lips quirking up. “Heard me what?”
“When you were talking to me while I was sleeping.”
He went a little stiff at your words. “What exactly did you hear?”
You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. I heard you reading just now.”
His shoulders dropped in relief. “Horrid creatures, vampires.”
“The worst,” you agreed. 
Astarion pulled away the last of the bandage and you looked down, your eyes widening at the huge gash along the right side of your stomach. 
“And we’re sure I didn’t die?” you asked, cautiously poking the area around the wound. The healing potion had stopped the bleeding.
Astarion slapped your hand. “Stop that.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re still here with us. I would have killed Withers if that weren’t the case.”
“You can’t-”
“I know. But he would have gotten an earful at least.” Astarion crawled on his knees back over to the supply area that you previously couldn’t see. Now you could see that there were a few buckets of water with towels and cloths of various sizes. He dunked his hands into one of the buckets and lathered his hands with soap. 
“Thorough,” you commented.
“You already fought off one infection,” he explained. “Don’t want to risk another.” He finished washing and drying his hands, then made his way back over to you on his knees, careful not to touch anything on his way.
“I had an infection?” you asked, watching as he dipped a cloth in the small bowl of water next to you. 
“Yes,” he said, “or were fighting one off. Like I said earlier, you had a fever, but it’s gone now.” He brought the cloth up to your stomach. “I’m going to clean the wound now. It might hurt.”
You nodded and he began dabbing your skin lightly. He was right, it stung and pierced whenever he hit a particularly raw area and your body jerked despite attempting to stay still. Tears welled up in your eyes again.
“I’m sorry,” Astarion said, reaching up to wipe a tear away. 
“I’m the one who got cleaved,” you deflected. “It’s my own fault.”
“Which reminds me,” his face morphed from apologetic to irritated, “why didn’t you tell us you were so exhausted? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I-” you squeaked at a particularly sharp pain. “I didn’t want you all to worry.”
Astarion’s hand paused and he narrowed his eyes at you. “Fine load of good that did, dear.”
“I’m sorry,” you looked away from him. “I didn’t know how involved the fight was going to be.”
“It doesn’t matter how involved the fight was or wasn’t going to be; if you weren’t feeling your best, you should have stayed behind and let one of the others take your place.” He sniffed pompously and added, “Would have given me an excuse to relax, too.” There was a sharpness to his words, but his actions remained careful and kind. You gave him a curious look and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, like I would go out and fight when I could laze about at camp for once.” He was suddenly very focused on not looking you in the eye.
You smiled. “You liiiiike me.”
“I’d have spent the entire time on the other side of camp.”
“Liar.” 
“The point is, darling, you have to listen to yourself and what you need. I do it all the time. For myself, I mean.”
“I know you do,” you chuckled. 
Astarion set down the wet cloth he was using and got a fresh one, before moving behind you to clean the wound on your back.“Why do you even care what we think?”
“Because you’re my friends, and I value your opinions?”
“No, I mean, why aren’t we allowed to be worried about you?”
“Oh,” you winced and flinched a bit at the cloth pressing against a tender spot on your back. “I don’t know. You all have your own problems to worry about. I shouldn’t be one of them.”
Astarion tsked. “I might be new to this whole ‘caring about someone else’ thing, but even I know how absurd that is.”
You tried to stay quiet, focusing on not moving to minimize the pricklings of pain shooting through your back. Yet despite your best effort, you still let out a few weak whimpers of discomfort.
Astarion sighed and moved away from you, back to the caché of supplies at the end of your bed. He came up with a steaming bowl of stew and reached across the bed to hand it to you.
“Careful,” he warned.
“How?” you asked.
“Halsin made soup. Gale knew a spell to keep it warm. This is the result.” He handed you a spoon. “We were able to get you to eat some while you were unconscious, but Shadowheart said you should eat properly whenever you woke up. I forgot until just now.”
“Thank you,” you said gratefully, shoveling some of the stew into your mouth. It was rich and heavy; full of meat and vegetables. Delicious.
Astarion took his place behind you again and went back to cleaning, but not before sighing dramatically. “Playing nursemaid is so far beneath me. I can’t believe you’re making me do this, you wretch.”
You swallowed some broth then said, “I offered to get Shadowheart.”
“Not a chance,” he growled in your ear, leaning around to kiss your cheek. “But if I ever have to do this again-”
“You’ll kill me?”
“Without a second thought, my sweet.”
“Mmhm,” you hummed through more food. “I think you’re enjoying this, honestly.”
“Seriously? When I could be out killing something? Or drinking from that gorgeous neck of yours? Or thoroughly ruining you? Nice try.”
“Are you hungry?” you asked, suddenly feeling very guilty for not thinking of him.
“This is what I mean, darling.” He sounded annoyed.
“What?”
“You are very weak at the moment. You lost quite a bit of blood from this wound, and you’re still offering to feed me.” 
“Because I want to help you! I have something you need and I lo-like you so much.” You caught yourself, but not very smoothly. 
Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Flattered as I am, I know that drinking from you right now could be fatal. And I think you know that, too.”
You shoveled some more stew into your mouth shamefully.
“That’s all I mean, pet.” Astarion set down the cloth he’d been using to clean your back and moved around so he could look you in the eye again. “You’re incredible. You always want to help others, which, while I don’t personally understand it, is seen as very admirable to some people. But it gets you into trouble, and I don’t think you care that it does.” He took your chin in his hand to make you look at him. “But I care now. And I don’t want this to happen again.”
“I can’t help it,” you said quietly. 
Astarion pouted mildly with genuine sympathy and kissed you chastely. “Try.” He pressed his forehead to yours.
“Okay,” you whispered.
“That’s my girl,” he smiled. “Besides,” his flamboyant cadence returned to make you laugh, “I already drained some poor beastie dry earlier while Shadowheart was changing your bandages.”
“Poor beastie.”
He kissed you again, more deeply this time. “It meant nothing to me,” he teased and you laughed. “It was purely for sustenance.” He nosed along your neck to his favorite feeding spot and kissed you there.
“I may never find forgiveness in my heart for this,” you teased back.
Astarion’s eyes went noticeably soft and a small smile tugged at his lips. His hands came up to your cheeks and he kissed you once more, tugging at your bottom lip with his front teeth. You matched his rhythm, moaning softly, and unconsciously rolling your hips, which made you cry out in pain.
“Bad idea,” you groaned, tilting your head away from Astarion’s eager kisses. 
He chuckled and rested his forehead on your temple. “You know, Halsin actually warned me not to ‘give in to any carnal desires’ until you were fully healed. I told him I wouldn’t.”
“And yet you did anyway?” you raised an eyebrow with a smile. “You selfish prick.”
Astarion tsked. “I’m not the needy one rolling my hips, now am I?”
“You bit my lip!”
“Call it
 a vampiric sign of affection. Nothing more than that.”
You blew out an annoyed huff, causing a strand of hair in your face to fly upwards.
“I didn’t even draw blood,” Astarion said. “You should be thanking me.”
“Oh, thank you,” you rolled your eyes.
“But of course.”
“I so badly want to strangle you right now.”
Astarion growled from the back of his throat. “Oh, how I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing you again, despite your laughing protests.
“Would you please finish with this?” you asked, pushing him back and gesturing the undressed wound on your stomach. 
He groaned loudly. “If I must.”
“I can handle the front,” you said, nodding towards a bowl of salve, but not attempting to lean forward and grab it for fear of accidentally hurting yourself further.
Astarion hesitated in giving you the bowl, but quickly gave in. “Fine.”
“I’ll be careful,” you said.
He nodded once and took his own bowl of salve to spread on your back. 
The balm was cool and caused you to jump a little when it first made contact with your skin. Astarion paused his work to make sure you were alright. 
“I’m okay,” you assured. “Just cold.”
“You get used to it,” he smirked, globbing more cold substance onto your back.
Delicately, you took your own salve and began to apply a generous amount to your stomach. 
The two of you remained silent, locked in concentration as you administered the medicine to your wounds. It stung mildly, but the cooling effect it had became comforting soon enough. 
“So
” you broke the silence after you were satisfied with your work, “what did you do while I was
 out?” 
Astarion exhaled through his nose and didn’t answer right away. “Oh, nothing special. A little of this, a little of that. My world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”
“Sad,” you pouted, “because while I was unconscious, all I could hear was your voice.”
“Could you, now?” You could hear the grin in his voice. “I was all you could hear?”
“Mmhm,” you confirmed. “Which means you must have spent a lot of time by my side.” You risked a glance over your shoulder and saw Astarion’s hand hovering just above your back, frozen in place. 
He cleared his throat and continued to apply the salve. “And so what if I did?”
“Well, it’s just that there’s so much else you could have been doing,” you chuckled. “Like killing, or maiming, or drinking, or stabbing-”
You stopped talking when you felt his forehead press against your bare shoulder. He mumbled something against your skin, but you couldn’t make it out.
“What was that, my love?”
He sighed heavily and pulled back. “I was scared.”
“You
 were scared? You?”
“Of course I was scared!” he exclaimed, looking irritated and confused. “I may already be dead, but it’s not your time yet. I would never wish that on you.”
You weren’t sure how to process that. 
Astarion.
Scared, on your behalf.
You knew he cared about you, that was obvious by now, he’d told you as much, but that was a fairly recent development. In the past, he’d only cared enough to save his own skin. He’d always watched your back, sure, but there were days where you knew he’d only helped you or another companion because it had been convenient for him in some way. Although, you had to admit, since you two had become
 whatever you were, he’d seemed to take extra precaution when looking out for you. Both in battle and out.
“Astarion,” you said slowly when he returned from behind you to grab the fresh bandages, “what happened when the zombies got me?”
He remained quiet, fiddling with the bandages in his hands. 
“I carried you here.”
“Where is ‘here,’ exactly?” you asked.
He shrugged. “Not too far from those horrid singing mushrooms. They were no help.”
Your eyes went wide, knowing how far the journey from the Myconid colony to the decrepit village was, and how he must have traveled further than that to get here. You shook your head, banishing the thought. “How did you get to me from your platform?”
Astarion came close and unwound the bandages in his hands again, making sure he had the right amount. “I may or may not have
 gone into a blind rage, killed some dwarves, yelled at Gale
 It was no big deal.”
“And then you
 carried me.”
“Yes.”
“All the way here.”
“Yes.”
“And then?”
“And then I helped Halsin with healing you. Why does it matter?”
“You
” You trailed off and allowed Astarion to start wrapping the bandages around your middle. Your eyes were unfocused on something in the distance and your mind was blank; too overwhelmed with thoughts to think anything at all. You shook your head to bring yourself back into the moment with him.
His voice was quiet. “I’ve been powerless far too often in my life. Seeing you go down, and not being able to stop it, it
 broke something in me.”
You watched him carefully.
“If I was powerless in that situation, and you
 If I’d lost you, I don’t know what I would have done.”
“It’s a good thing you didn’t lose me then,” you said, attempting to lift the mood while focusing on his hands.
He shook his head and paused with the wrapping. “Shadowheart said I was ready to burn the world. I think she was right.”
“I’m touched,” you joked again.
“I’m serious, darling.” He picked up where he left off with the bandages.
“You were that worried about me? Even though you were also surrounded by enemies?”
“Oh, believe me, I’m not pleased about this turn of events. Normally, in a setting like that, I’d be mostly worried about myself. But lately I seem to somehow be worried about you more.” He hummed as if he were surprised to hear himself say that aloud. 
You brought a hand up to gently wrap around his forearm as he continued wrapping you up. He met your eye fondly.
“You give me something to care for. And that’s worth the peril.” He smiled at you for a moment, then pulled on the bandages to make sure they were tight enough. “Is this alright?”
Try as you might to not let him see, your eyes welled up with tears. “Fine, yes.”
“Oh gods, don’t lie, you’re crying!” He immediately began to loosen the bandages and you started laughing.
“No, no, dummy,” you wiped a tear and stopped his hands with your own. “I care about you, too.” 
“We’ve established that, darling,” but his eyes went soft. “Let me finish this, you sap,” he gestured to your bandages, still not properly secured, and you released his hands. He once again returned to wrapping the wound and pulled the bandages tighter, but not as tight as before. They were firm enough that they wouldn’t fall, and you could still breath easily, despite the mild ache that lingered in your stomach. He tucked the end into the top of the wrapping beneath your chest. “There now, my sweet. All patched up.” He brushed both hands through your hair before resting them gently on your shoulders.
You smiled at him, but something occurred to you upon hearing the affectionate nickname. “Is there a reason you haven’t called me ‘my love’ since I woke up?”
Astarion looked taken aback. “Erm
”
You were quick to explain: “It’s my favorite. That’s why I call you that, too.”
“Your favorite
” Astarion stared at you blankly for a second and his hands squeezed your shoulders absently.
You could practically see the cogs in his head turning. You brought a hand to cup his cheek. “If I did something-”
Astarion shook his head. “No, darling, you did nothing wrong. Other than almost getting yourself killed, I mean. It’s just that
 I’m in the process of coming to terms with how I feel - about you.”
Oh.
Oh.
He’d thrown “love” and “my love” around so casually, practically the entire time you’d known him. Abruptly stopping their use was incredibly unlikely unless it was deliberate.
Did this mean he was starting to rethink those words? And what it meant to say them to you?
Did that mean he
 loved you?
Your heart started pounding as a million jumbled thoughts entered your mind. It seemed like Astarion noticed the change in your pulse.
“If that scares you-”
“No!” You were grinning widely and tried to hide it behind your free hand. “Take all the time you need, my love.” You hoped calling him by your preferred pet name might convey how you felt, but you didn’t want to scare him off. You knew better than anyone how new this was to both of you.
“Thank you,” he said, taking your hand and kissing the inside of your wrist. “Now lie down, would you? You need more sleep.”
You handed him your now empty bowl of stew. “But
 I’m not tired.”
Astarion gave you a look as if to say really?
“I’m not! I’ve been sleeping all day!”
“And for good reason, might I add.”
The two of you stared at each other, willing the other to give in. Astarion rolled his eyes.
“Fine,” he said, annoyed. He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.
“Carnal desires,” you reminded him in a scolding manner.
“I don’t plan on ravishing you right now, dearest,” he said, a bit of bite in his words. “If you’re not going to sleep, at least lie down with me.”
He moved the medical supplies off of the makeshift bed and blew out a few candles as he awaited your answer.
You nodded, a smile overtaking your features. “I’d like that.”
“I’ll be gentle,” he said as he got onto the pile of pillows and placed his knees on either side of your hips. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck.
“I know,” you said, using him as an anchor to lower yourself onto your back and further into the pillows.
When he was satisfied with your position, Astarion carefully lifted himself from hovering above you and transitioned himself to curl into your side. You stayed on your back so as to not jostle your wound, but turned your head to look at him. He watched you intently, his hands palm-to-palm and resting under his cheek. You ran your hand through his hair. 
“I couldn’t reach you,” you said.
“When?” Astarion lifted his head slightly.
“When I was sleeping. I could hear you, but I couldn’t see you. And it hurt to try and get to you.”
“Oh, my darling,” he said, running a hand along your cheek. “I’m here now.”
“I know,” you repeated, warmth overtaking your chest.
“Nervous it’ll happen again if you sleep?” he asked. When you nodded, he nodded back in understanding. “Nightmares are dreadful.”
“Any tips?”
“Hmm
 not really.”
“Thanks.”
Astarion laughed softly and reached for your hand. “I’ll stay awake with you for as long as you need.”
“You need your rest, too.”
He clicked his tongue. “If you think I’m going out with the others tomorrow, you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”
You exhaled an amused breath and turned your head back up towards the top of your tent to sort through some of your many tangled thoughts.
While it was true that you and Astarion hadn’t known each other for very long, it floored you how much of a change you saw in him now versus when you’d first met. Back then, he was cruel, and violent, and prone to laughing at the misfortune of others. Now, he was still all of those things, but there was also this soft side of him that he continued to surprise you with. He’d actively chosen to stay by your side all day, even though he could have let the others handle your care. He probably would have opted for that option just a few weeks ago. He was also making the choice to stay at camp with you tomorrow, rather than venture out with the rest of your party to be rewarded by the Myconids for your efforts, and possibly spill more blood throughout the Underdark. Knowing how much he loved to spill blood, that was a big deal. 
He’d also shown you the most tender affection the first night you’d slept together and every heated encounter since; he was showing he cared in the ways he knew how. He was trying his best (for the most part), and that’s what mattered to you. Astarion could take all the time he needed to sort out his feelings.
But you knew how you felt.
“So other than the peril, are you enjoying the Underdark?”
Astarion groaned. “Really?”
“Yes.”
He let out a long exhale, the cool air of his breath tickling your neck. “You know, for all the time I spent lurking in the shadows, I’ve never ventured into the Underdark before.”
“So you’ve told me,” you squeezed his hand.
“Hardly a
 luxurious setting, but it definitely has its upsides for a vampire.” 
You nodded, still looking up at the top of your tent. 
“Or its
 undersides? Because it’s - you know what I mean.”
You snorted at his feeble attempt at a pun. “Boooo,” you teased and looked over at him.
“I’ve been awake for nearly 24 hours, need I remind you.”
“Then trance, idiot.” You poked his nose.
“I said I would stay awake with you.”
“I’ll be alright,” you insisted, “though I appreciate the offer, my love.”
Astarion blinked slowly, his eyes suddenly heavy with sleep. It was as if he were finally allowing himself to relax, now that he was able to hear your voice again. He wore a lopsided grin as his eyes drifted closed. 
“I really did miss you,” he murmured, his voice soft.
“I missed you, too.” You brought your clasped hands up to your mouth and kissed the back of his hand. “Thank you for saving me.”
He didn’t properly respond, and instead hummed out a sleepy acknowledgement. 
“You’re so heroic.”
“Mmm.”
“And handsome.”
“Mhm.” He inhaled and exhaled deeply.
“Thank you for staying by my side.”
This time he didn’t respond. He looked entirely peaceful and his lips were parted slightly.
“Maybe I spoke too soon,” you laughed quietly, brushing a loose hair out of his face. “You should sleep though,” you said more to yourself than to him. “I can’t imagine how tired you must be.”
You watched his chest rise and fall with the unnecessary breaths he still took after all these years. You couldn’t believe that mere moments ago, he’d admitted that he was beginning to care more for your safety than for his own. Much less that he might even love you.
Astarion made a small sound, like a tiny grunt from the back of his throat that you’d come to learn meant that he was likely out cold. He rarely fell asleep before you did, given how little rest elves needed, which only further showed how exhausted he truly was.
“I love that noise,” you smiled. 
You turned your head back up to the top of your tent and sighed. “I love how funny you are. And I love how even though you’re incredibly intelligent, you’re the dumbest man I’ve ever met.” You looked back at him. His slumbering expression remained unchanged. “I love your eyes, and your ears, and the annoying way you put your hand on your hip when you think you’ve gained the upper hand in something.” You squeezed his hand ever so slightly and watched to make sure his features stayed even. “I love how kind you pretend you aren’t and how fiercely you deny it when I bring it up. I love your laugh, and how gently you hold me when you feed, and how you think about me when you could so easily think of yourself instead.” 
Again, you brought his hand up to your mouth and kissed his fingers.
“I love you, Astarion.”
You couldn’t be sure, but you swore you could see the slightest smile on his face as you felt your eyes flutter closed and you drifted into your own contented sleep.
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 year ago
Text
Flowers
Chloe Kelly x Reader
Summary: It's a tradition
Tumblr media
It was becoming a bit of a habit.
You wrote it off as a joke the first time it happened. You came into England camp with a smile and a flirty wave to the camera.
You turned to the corner to see Chloe on one knee with a singular tulip in her hand.
"For you," She said in a dramatic joking tone," My lady!"
You laughed and took it from her, curtsey deeply to play along. You knew the cameras were eating up the interaction so you caught Chloe's hand and pressed a kiss to it.
She laughed and jumped to her feet, tucking you under her arm as she winked and pointed at the camera. "And that's how you get a girlfriend!"
"Is that what I am?" You said back with an eye roll before looking back at the camera. "Don't listen to her, everyone, she's too cocky to think she's done anything wrong ever."
"Come on!" Chloe complained," Don't tell me you weren't wooed for a second there!"
You held up your index finger and thumb, squashing them against each other. "The tiniest of seconds," You said before walking off to go to your room," You have to try better than that, Chloe!"
"I'll get you!"
The next time Chloe surprised you with flowers was on a pitch inspection for the Euros. You were completely exhausted from having spent most of your night up talking to Tooney and binging on the food you had snuck in.
"My love," Chloe said dramatically as she dropped to her knees in front of you and pulled out a fairly crushed tulip," Take this as a token of my undying love!"
"I'm pretty sure that flower is dead," You replied dryly.
"Shit," Chloe muttered before clearing her throat and offering it to you again," Take this as a token of my affection!"
"The dying flower? Gee, Chlo, why don't you just stomp on my heart now?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'll be back! You'll fall for my charms!"
"Bye, Chloe!"
It became a bit of a tradition and soon the fans were being updated every week of the Euros campaign about Chloe's attempts to woo you.
"Hey! Wait!"
You tried to back out of the door when you saw her but with Millie and Rachel behind you, you couldn't escape.
"Jesus, Chloe," You breathed out as you looked at the tulip in her hand," Where are you getting all of these flowers from? Surely, you're going broke?"
"Love has no price tag!" She declared dramatically as she assumed the position on her knees and cleared her throat. With her other hand, she unfolded a long sheet of paper.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding," You laughed in disbelief as Chloe recited poetry that she had obviously written herself from the way she was trying to rhyme your name with various household objects. "Are you nearly done?"
She gave you a deadpan look. "Excuse me," She said in faux offense," But I'm trying to declare my love for you and I'm only halfway through the rooms of your house. I would like silence and cooperation for this part, please."
You jerked your thumb over your shoulder to Millie and Rachel. "And the bodyguards are here, why?"
"To make sure you can't escape."
"Oh, so this is a hostage situation. Thanks for letting me know."
She waved a hand dismissively. "Can I get back to this now? Please and thank you."
The further you got into the tournament, the more public Chloe's jokes got.
After the semifinals and the celebration on the pitch after you won, Chloe threw you over her shoulder and carted you around on the lap the team took.
As she went by, she collected the tulips that she clearly had convinced the fans to bring with them before trapping you between her and the stands.
She cleared her throat. "My love-"
"No!" You pointed," No sappy nicknames! Start again!"
She looked pointedly at the crowd before starting again. "My love of you is as endless as these flowers! They just keep coming and coming!"
You opened your mouth to complain about how she was only holding five flowers when more rained down from above you.
It shocked a laugh out of you.
"Nine out of ten delivery!" You said, still laughing," Could use some work!"
"Oh, come on! That has to be a ten out of ten!"
It all comes to a head at the finals.
The rush of adrenaline felt like nothing you had ever experienced before.
"Hey, match winner," You said as you collided with Chloe.
"Hey!" She yelled over the triumph of the crowd. She produced a singular tulip and raised it into your view. "Are we doing this or what?"
You took it.
Then, she kissed you.
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kenobers · 2 months ago
Text
anyway, here’s a preview of the next jason + sionis!reader fic | 18+
tw; reader’s an asshole maybe? a girl failure, perhaps?
"I said, 'are you sober'. You look sober. Are you?"
Jason Todd blinks, like he still doesn't quite understand the question. He straightens his posture, jostling the untouched pint of something between his middle finger and thumb.
"I-yeah, I am. Are you?"
You cross your arms, roll your eyes again and ignore the question. Obviously, you're sober.
"Do you know who I am?"
He looks you over thoughtfully. His gaze conveniently lingers on the pop of your hip and the cleavage peeking out of your ruby neckline. Exactly where you want it. You snicker; so maybe he's a little slow, but at least he doesn't seem to be blind.
"You're Sionis' kid, aren't you? It's been a hot minute," Jason leans forward a little, magically more invested in the conversation. The ginger man standing next to him pauses his attempts to woo a brunette to raise an eyebrow at you.
"My dad hates you."
He scoffs, taking a half hearted sip of his beer.
"And bears shit in the woods, what else is new?"
You don't remember him having that stupid white streak in his too-well-tousled hair. It was sexy. You hated it.
"Fuck me."
IPA dribbles down his idiotically strong chin. His mouth goes a little slack as he blinks once again, harder and longer this time.
"What?"
Ugh, again with the repetition.
"Fuck me. Have sex with me," you reiterate as nonchalantly as if you're asking him to move over.
The redhead next to him starts cackling. Jason glowers at him, shoving the drink into his hand with one arm while pulling you closer with the other. It only takes him a gentle tug to pull your chest to broad chest. He leans down so his lips brush against your ear.
"Hey, you sure you're sober?"
The warmth of his breath in contrast with his mouth, still cool from his glass, sends a shiver down your spine.
"I'm dead sober."
"Okay, you see how I might doubt that given you just walked up to me and asked me to have sex with you."
You push him away and it's like pushing into a brick wall. A very muscular brick wall. "Look, Wayne-"
"Todd."
"Whatever. Even if I wanted to drink, I couldn't because my father drained my entire bank account."
Jason tilts his head, causing a lock of white hair to fall across his crooked nose. 
"And why'd he do that?"
You hum amiably, curling your pretty maroon nails around his thick forearm. 
"I'll tell you if you fuck me," you promise, batting your eyelashes as you place your other hand over his heart. Much to your frustration, his heartbeat is slow and steady. His sharp face has lost its earlier shock. He looks at ease, pleasantly entertained, with a slight smirk and a cocked slitted eyebrow. 
"I think that's called extortion, baby girl."
"It's only extortion if I'm threatening you," you snap back. You should know, your father's an expert in it. You take a small breath, smoothing out your tone again, "I'm just keeping my business to myself. So, I'd call this more of a quid pro quo."
"It's a quid pro quo if I'm getting something substantial out of it," he says this but at the same time, two large hands are sliding over your hips with a featherlight touch. His nails briefly press into your skin. 
Something in your belly tightens. Maybe he’s a more worthy opponent than you’d initially assumed. 
You tip your head up as you stand on your tiptoes and sneak your much smaller hands under his jacket, brushing up his warm sides. He sucks in a sharp breath. 
"If you really had no desire to fuck me, this conversation would've ended by now,” your voice is dripping in something venomously sweet. “And I'm not going to claim I have any idea of what's happening in your own business, but if I had to take a wild guess as to who in this room has the most to gain from fucking Roman Sionis' daughter, you'd be at the top of the list. Even if it's just for the bragging rights."
"You're worth more than just bragging rights, princess,” he says, rolling a fold of your dress between his fingers with a condescending shake of his head. You wonder if he can feel the heat radiating from underneath. 
"Prove it."
"...and you're sure you're sober?"
"Wanna test my breath?"
He snorts at your bad line, but his index and thumb are already caging your chin between them. He considers you for one more moment, then kisses you.
You can taste the single sip of beer, but it’s not as strong as the fading taste of a cigarette. His lips move against yours with intent, as if seeking out a falter in your sobriety. Their search comes up empty, leaving behind nothing but a thin string of spit and the overwhelming desire for more of him.
"What's your plan then? Risk it in a bathroom stall?"
You loath how utterly girlish the grin on your lips is.
"Nah, I know a spot upstairs."
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phoenixeclipse-lmkau · 27 days ago
Note
what would happen if monkey!Reader was harassed by a male monkey who tries to woo her and really won't give up(let's assume this happens before the kings announces their courtship since i doubt they would lay a finger on her if they knew) pls i need i've been harassed, heavily uneasely catcalled and saved by a dude who intervened(my hero❀) and i need to portray this asshole dead
Okie! It looks like I am making an oc Monkie demon who is also an absolute prick! I mean not all of them can be ‘nice’ and respectful. Like Wukong and Macaque are assholes there is no doubt about that but they will defiantly not harass Reader into bed with them. They even make sure she know about the cave they set aside for females who are in heat, a cave which is guarded and watched to make sure NO MALES come barging in during such a vulnerable time. They respect that women can and will say no to sex.
Now our price of a monkey demon who I shall name Linshu is NOT like that at all. (Will probably add him into cursed warlords too
 hmm. Sorry back to the ask) Let’s get to it.
“Doesn’t it look so pretty!” Spirit cheered as she held up a bunch of flowers in her hands, her face brimming with pure joy.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at her pure excitement, ever since you two came to the island she was all smiles. Well after her short fight with her ‘dad’, but that didn’t last too long. You shook the thought away as she went back to looking at the flowers pointing out different ones, telling you the name and even the symbolism behind it. Her dad’s mate loved flowers and explained them to Spirit.
“Well look at these two beautiful ladies,” a new voice caught your attention causing both you and Spirit to turn and look at him.
Immediately Spirit’s face soured while you just looked. He must be someone Spirit met when you were exploring. You didn’t bother saying hello and frowned when your friend stepped in front of you.
“What do you want Linshu?” Spirit growled lowly.
“Can’t I say hi to the new troop members?” He asked with a smug smirk.
You narrowed your eyes at his attitude while looking him up and down. He was a short monkey demon with a dark grey pelt which was pretty well groomed, a rather toned body from fights, she could tell solely by the scars he had. There was a slash at his neck, one across his abdomen and another on his chest.
“Like what you see?” He asked proudly.
You narrowed your eyes again, he acted as though you should bow down to him. Where could someone get the nerve? He must be on some sort of power trip unless he always acted like this. If so then you didn’t want anything to do with this island at all.
“Not particularly, come on Spirit let’s go,” You said calmly.
Linshu’s face flushed in rage immediately gritting his teeth as if you had declared a fight against him or thrown some awful punch. You went to leave without any more talking when he grabbed your arm with a sneer. “Hold it there! You should be honored I’m giving you my attention!”
Your eyes darkened immediately before you moved and decked him across the face, hard. A low growl escaping your lips as you stood toe to toe with him. “Keep your hands off,” You growled. His grip didn’t move when he started yelling profanities at you, he was stronger and you hated that.
“Listen here, you should be honored that one of The King’s ACTUAL people are offering you a place here! You could be my mate and you would fucking love it. I am a powerful demon who is only second to the kings themselves. You have no right to deny me-“ He continued to yell at you.
“Let her go you prick!” Spirit yelled as she came over to help you, her tail lashing angrily.
Growling lowly you were about to speak when he suddenly released your arm and let out a pained cry. You were shocked to see Macaque’s hand on his shoulder, his grip tightening harder with each passing second. A dark threatening look settled easily across his face.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He questioned smoothly and the monkey immediately held still.
“N-Nothing my King, I was merely speaking with these women- Ah-AHH!” He shouted as blood dripped down his arm from Macaque’s claws.
“Hmm, it appears you don’t know your place,” His words were calm and steady even as his eyes burned with a very dangerous rage.
Loud footsteps came forward and you were shocked to see non other than Sun Wukong himself and to say his mate was the only angry one would be a lie. Rage covered his face while he held his staff over his shoulder, his grip tightly around it.
“Wukong my dear, would you please take these two out? I’m sure they would prefer not to witness this,” Macaque said calmly, while his tail lashed threateningly.
You didn’t even get the chance to say anything as Wukong pulled you away, Spirit following behind quickly. You were too far away to hear the sounds of his screams by the time Macaque began to- teach him a lesson. Not that you have much time to worry about it as Wukong takes you to the healer to check for any injuries.
All in all, you would definitely be in good hands the moment you come onto the island. Weather the two warlords have decided that they want you to be their mate yet or not. These two would definitely protect their troop from those not in it and those who are being assholes. Also that bitch dead, he died and is NEVER coming back. Hope you enjoyed Sleepy!
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irisintheafterglow · 1 year ago
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One-Shots
Gojo Satoru
You Are In Love - "you're my best friend," and you knew what it was
...Ready For It? - knew he was a killer first time that I saw him
Hits Different - it hits different 'cause it's you (or, struggling in a situationship with gojo satoru)
Never Grow Up - meeting megumi for the first time
The Archer - all of my enemies started out friends, can he hold on to you?
invisible string - the first time megumi uses ten shadows
even in my worst times, you see the best in me - being the strongest has its downsides, but at least you're suffering with him
life's no fun without a good scare - you have the brilliant idea of playing hide and seek in a corn maze against the most powerful sorcerer in the world. should be fun, right?
it's all me, just don't go (meet me in the afterglow) - satoru is jealous but refuses to admit it.
every dead end street led you straight to me - former fuckboy gojo has some things to say at the top of a mountain
i hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this! - coworkers to lovers with a healthy amount of teenage eavesdropping
he's the death you chose (you're in terrible danger) - married life with husband!gojo means cleaning up bodies at 2am.
Geto Suguru
The Great War - somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed
Back to December - you gave him all your love and all he gave you was goodbye
say you'll remember me - you were destined to fail from the start, so why does it hurt so badly when he's gone?
dazzling haze, mysterious way about you, dear - need some fluff after reading all the angst above?
tell me that you love me, love me 'til my lips turn blue - being partnered with suguru on a mission takes an unexpected turn
what if all i need is you? - after failed attempts to find a date to a relative's birthday party, your best friend acts as your fake boyfriend.
you know i love you so. - what if he never left you?
Nanami Kento
of daisies and collisions - nanami kento felt a little out of his element, with a small bundle of flowers sitting in his lap and brooding in the dark corner of the jazz bar. yet, you play that song he likes again, and nothing else matters.
Blurbs/Drabbles
the stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours - holding satoru and letting him rest, even if it's only for a little bit
it took so long to know someone like you - he doesn't know who he is with you and it scares both of you
bad days and blanket burritos - good ol' satoru bf fluff
Imagines/HCs
And the touch of a hand lit the fuse
how gojo and geto react to their partner being obsessed with them (fluffy !!!)
summer camp counselor!gojo
Gojo Satoru
What, like it's hard? -> law student!gojo / university!gojo
general hcs
when he buys a motorcycle
flirting via the library
I'm with the band -> rockstar!gojo
rockstar!gojo meet sexyy
the valentine's day show
quiet moments and teaching you guitar
awards show
Falling for you, on and off the ice -> hockey player!gojo
someone steals your usual rink slot
watching a game
living in winter, i am your summer - he's terrible at figure skating
Kachow -> professional racer!gojo
on the radio
smoke his ass! - pro racer!gojo needs some motivation after a newcomer to the track pisses him off
Geto Suguru
oops? - satoru finds out that you've been seeing his best friend
a quiet moment in the aquarium
napping with you :)
scare actor!suguru
wooing the rec center worker (university!suguru)
Save a horse, ride a cowboy -> gunslinger!suguru
gunslinger!geto au
big iron - he's not the first to go after the crystal-eyed bandit, but something tells you that this one will keep his promise to buy you a drink when the hunting is done.
Theta Phi Fuckhead -> enemy frat!suguru
ancient grudge, new mutiny
move fast, keep quiet
half the things that haven't happened yet
Series Masterlists
End Game (volleyball captain!gojo x you) COMPLETED
Co-Parenting Megumi with Satoru COMPLETED
I Don't Wanna Live Forever (gojo x you during shibuya) COMPLETED
VIGILANTE SHIT (vigilante!au, IN PROGRESS)
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koyagifs · 3 months ago
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đ“–đ“źđ“·đ“Č𝓼 đ“˜đ“· 𝓐 đ“‘đ“žđ“œđ“œđ“”đ“ź 「 II 」
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‷ pairing: wooyoung x reader ‷ au: non idol! | strangers to lovers | slow burn ‷ genre: fluff | crack | angst ‷word count: 955 words ‷ summary: Being gifted what was supposed to be a gag joke, turns out to be the real deal. An actual genie in a bottle, ready to serve her new master.
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Everyone stood still, the woman now stretching her limbs, a yawn escaping her as she took her in scenery. 8 gorgeous looking men, but one catching her eye. Mischief sparkled in her eyes as she did a bow, a dramatic one at that.
“ now, who had the pleasure of rubbing my bottle?” The young woman spoke, looking at each blushing male.
Hongjoong let out a cough, catching the woman attention. “ That would be Wooyoung. There’s no way you’re actually a genie..”
The young woman eyes sparkled with delight as she nodded her head eagerly. “ of course i am! What, did you think i threw a smoke bomb in here and just POOF crawled out the floor?”
Snickers came from Yunho and Mingi, trying their best to ignore the harsh stare from Hongjoong. “ well, no but-“
“ ah, i didn’t even introduce myself. My name is yn ln. Who exactly is Wooyoung?” yn asked, looking around curiously.
Everyone pointed to Wooyoung, who gulped nervously as yn eagerly walked over to him and shook his hand. "I am now your genie, master Wooyoung!"
"Genie... master?" he stammered, still trying to wrap his head around the entire situation.
Yn nodded, “ Correct! Now there are rules before you begin your wishes.”
Wooyoung blinked, still in shock as Yn flashed him a dazzling smile, almost like she’d been waiting ages for this moment. The others leaned in, intrigued.
“Rules?” Wooyoung managed to ask, his mind racing with possibilities. He glanced nervously at Hongjoong, who was still eyeing the scene with disbelief.
Wooyoung nodded his head, his friends in awe that he hasn’t muttered a word. Yn smiled at him sweetly, enjoying the moment. Snapping her fingers, a piece of paper appeared beside her, as well as a pair of moon crescent shape glasses on her face.
“ you can’t wish to bring back the dead. I can’t make someone fall in love with you. I cannot and will not bring ill harm to someone or something. You can’t wish for immortality. Last but not least, you cannot wish for my freedom. Any question Master?”
Hongjoong was the first to speak out of the other boys, " so not the cliche, " you get 3 wishes " genie?"
Yn nodded her head, " I am a different kind of genie. I serve one master per their lifetime, although it feels like forever since my last master."
“ why can’t Wooyoung wish for your freedom?” San asked, curiously.
The mood shifted as yn didn’t face him, “ i’m sorry but that’s something only my master may ask.”
Yeosang pinched San, as if scolding him for asking such question. A whine escaping his lips as Wooyoung finally got his senses together.
“ oh Minyoung is going to have a field trip with your genie,” Seonghwa chuckled.
Wooyoung faced dropped as he realized his girlfriend is going to be coming home here shortly. As if on que, the door began to jiggle causing yn to panic as Wooyoung was quick to hold the bottle up.
" quick you gotta hide please. She'll freak the fuck out if she knew another girl was here."
With a snap of her fingers and a poof of smoke, the genie was gone.
As the smoke cleared, Wooyoung’s was quick to place the bottle back down to the coffee table. The boys trying their best to act natural as they know how crazy Wooyoung girlfriend can be.
“Hey! What’s going on in here?” she asked, her brow furrowing as she took in the scene—the remnants of the green smoke and the boys odd behavior.
“Nothing!” Wooyoung said quickly, his eyes lighting up as he tried to brush off the moment.
She hummed before she noticed the now rusted bottle. She made a disgusted face as she pulled her sleeve down. Grabbing it she looked at Wooyoung. " ew, Woo what did i say about bringing such disgusting things into the apartment."
Jongho tsk, mumbling under his breath as she continued to complain to Wooyoung. Wooyoung demenour changed rather quickly, a fake smile now placed on his face.
" love it's a gift from -"
" ugh please don't tell me it's from your parents? They suck if they actually did."
Wooyoung’s smile faltered as his girlfriend’s expression soured. He knew how much she disliked his parents’ gifts, especially when they were odd or tacky. “No, it’s not from my parents!” he quickly corrected, his tone defensive. “It’s a joke gift from Yunho and Mingi.”
Her brow furrowed deeper as she examined the bottle more closely, the rust now glinting in the light. “A joke gift? Seriously? This thing looks like it belongs in a junkyard! You’ve got to be kidding me.” She held it out like it was a piece of trash, her nose wrinkled in disgust.
" actually i thought it was pretty cool," Wooyoung mumbled.
She rolled her eyes, placing the bottle down before she turned to him. " sorry im late though. Work held me a little bit longer then expected."
Wooyoung’s expression softened at her apology. “It’s okay! I was just hanging out with the guys ,” he gestured vaguely at his friends, hoping to diffuse the tension.
She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I just don’t want you bringing home weird stuff. I mean, you already have enough strange things in this place.” Her eyes darted around the apartment, taking in the scattered memorabilia and odd knickknacks Wooyoung had collected over time.
“Hey, those are vintage! They’re not weird; they’re character!” Wooyoung defended, a playful smirk creeping onto his face. “Besides, it’s what makes this place feel like home.”
“Right,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
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yurozo · 5 months ago
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what could have been (chris redfield oneshot)
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description: chris made the biggest mistake of his life letting you walk out of it, and he's determined to make it right this time.
a/n: there really isn't enough fanfic about chris redfield and i am more than determined to change that. this man is sooo underappreciated. about: gn!reader/little physical description/no use of y/n. fluff, with very minor angsts, and a few mentions of in-canon violence.
it was an unsettling thing to walk away from you. but that was the way it always worked— you went one way while he went the other. a research laboratory on the other side of the city beckoned you over, studying accessible cures to viruses that chris had dedicated his life to eradicating. ever intertwined, despite the miles between you at all times.
on the other hand, chris spent his time travelling from place to place, never truly settling in washington due to the unbidden fear of having to leave it again. familiarity was a privilege unbeknownst to him, the mortal atlas condemned to carrying the world on his shoulders. he could at least enjoy knowing that if you ever needed a place, you would know where it was. and despite everything, he was rather proud of the way he matured. he was more fit than he was back in s.t.a.r.s- not entirely of his own accord, mind you- and eons more responsible.
watching every person you've ever cared about lose that twinkle in their eye did that to people.
and he didn't hate his job, contrary to popular belief. founding the b.s.a.a is among his crowning achievements, and allowed him to enact some real change. along with paying him a decent salary.
he supposed, bioweapons notwithstanding, that adulthood had changed him. long gone is the foul-mouthed air force pilot, and in its place stood a true soldier. safe and solid, protecting and proud. it was more so the person he imagined you would be into, someone dependable that could protect you if the need arose. truth be told, everything he did back in the s.t.a.r.s was with a side glance in your direction, desperately hoping you were watching him the same way he was secretly watching you.
the two of you kept minimal contact throughout the years, limited to the occasional 'how are you' and 'work's been good'. you always let him know of any major life changes, and he always contacted you after a mission, however brief, to sate your anxieties of whether or not to look for his name in an obituary. you pointedly never mentioned your dating life, but the very thought of someone vying for your attention made chris a little sick to his stomach.
call him possessive, call him crazy, for helplessly pining for a girl who was just slightly nicer to him than everyone else at the police department. what he did know is that the only suppression to that boiling feeling in his gut was the unbridled joy that filled him whenever he saw your contact name show up in his notifications. an indicator that you thought of him, however briefly.
in some parallel universe, he would be standing outside your balcony playing some queen song with terrible audio on an even shittier boombox, and you would be awed and wooed by his grand romantic gesture. you would run down from the balcony and plant one on him, and he would swing you around in his arms and there would be nothing but the two of you. no bioweapons, no blood staining his hands, no nightmares about finding you dead in the middle of a ruined city. but he lived in this world, where he was too old and too tired to indulge in those fantasies.
he was a man. he was also a soldier, and therefore, a realist.
so, when you texted him about being in the washington area and wanting to meet up for a day, chris had spent two days drawing three viable conclusions.
1.) this was an elaborate dream made up by a combat-addled mind to live out some younger, unbridled fantasy of his,
2.) this was a cruel prank by some twisted fuck that somehow knew how much he clung to you over the years,
3.) the final, and least likely conclusion: that there was some part of you that missed him as much as he missed you.
he wants to cross the third one off by instinct, but something in his heart adamantly refuses. that sparkling hope in his chest is something he's not particularly looking to stamp out just yet, so he chooses to simply let it burn until it probably would just consume him entirely. by the time he reaches the bar you both agreed on meeting at, he's been so wrapped up in determining your motivations that he's caught entirely unprepared by the sight of you.
you were sitting there, chin in your hands as you mindlessly tapped on the glass in front of you. probably waiting for a while, given your propensity for being unbearably early to social gatherings. you always did have a distaste for tardiness, even if chris was technically five minutes early. the same endearing furrow in your brow makes chris falter in his steps, taking a moment to truly absorb you for the first time in years.
fuck, you were gorgeous. the kind that had other tripping over themselves just to bask in your presence. hell, chris was one of them. always had been.
that same simmering boil of jealousy that used to arise every time that he watched some civilian lean over the reception desk, speaking to you in hushed tones as they preened in your attention, sparks to a roaring fire. he has to remind himself that things are different now; you had lived a whole other life without him, and he's had to learn to survive without you.
he briefly entertains the thought that his absence affected you in the same way. this gnawing feeling that something vital to his very being was lost somewhere in the wreckage of raccoon city.
your face had matured over the years too— jaw set a little sharper, eyes a little duller, the faint lines of age beginning to appear on your skin. you're still gazing somewhere far away by the time he musters up the courage to approach the table, hesitant like you'll reach over the table and sink your teeth into his arm like a-
no. bad chris. no talking shop here.
you don't seem to notice him as he approaches, still staring down at the table like it will speak to you if you glare at it long enough.
"seem lost in thought." chris gives you the most dazzling smile he can muster, full of charm eased by age. while his body language is casual as he slides into the booth next to you, his mind has gone blissfully blank.
your thigh is touching his. oh god, you're wrapping your arms around him before he can think of something suave to say. your action is immediately reciprocated by strong arms pulling you closer, tucking you into his chest like he wants you to live in it forever.
god, he fucking missed this. seeing you, touching you with a familiarity he thought was long lost.
"i missed you," you murmur, letting your cheek smush into his collarbone.
"missed you too," he laughs, bright and warm. all the tension from his job immediately eases in your hold, and he lets himself squeeze you tighter and tighter, like a serpent desperately trying to stay out of the damnation of hell.
"jesus, chris. you got huge."
chris frowns as you pull back from him and start squeezing his arms appreciatively. he has no choice but to let you manhandle him, silently relishing in the way your eyes trace across the contours of his body. he is proud of it, even if he hates the reason why he felt the need to train this much in the first place.
the only way to stop wesker, to try and make the fight on level terms. he never told you about that either, keeping the details concise, knowing that you would have gotten on the first place to washington if you heard his plans of hunting their former boss. you had once admired the captain the same way chris did, and the knowledge of what had to happen would have crushed you.
that shoulder of burden can lay squarely on him.
"you know how it is," he answers instead, taking a sip from your glass. something sugary and way too sweet for his taste. "work never stops."
"tell me about it." the glass is then swapped to your hands. "i'm pretty sure i've huffed enough chemicals to send me to an early grave."
if anyone is going to rot eight feet below the earth soon, he thinks, it's most definitely not going to be you. he's been running from that ticking clock for far too many years.
"but you do good work." he grins, waving down a bartender and ordering a simple whiskey. on the rocks, top shelf, because he's a classy guy.
"we do good work." you remind him.
"fine." he concedes, hunching slightly over the table. "we're both patron saints."
a bright smile is what he gets in response, one that has his heart stuttering and tripping over in his chest. he can't help but give you a slightly goofy one in return. everything feels like as it should be. you're here, alive, and he is here, slightly less alive but feeling like he's finally able to breathe.
—
in retrospect, three-drink chris was probably not the best choice for tonight. one-drink chris is a little chattier than usual, but still relatively normal. two-drink chris loves music, always tapping his feet or bobbing his head to whatever song is playing. and three-drink chris might just be the most impulsive person on the planet.
the entire time you drive him home, which you insist on, chris has his head turned to you with the most obviously love-struck look in his eyes. the entire world around him seems to dull to a faint hum, instead focusing on that frustrating smile of yours as you recount some time that a coworker of yours accidentally put whatever chemical in something solution, causing a lab-wide evacuation.
like he said, impulsive. no more little voice in his head warning him to be subtle.
no more voices in his head screaming the songs of the damned.
he's honestly only half-listening. and only half-paying attention it seems, because you give him a questioning look when the car pulls into his driveway and he makes no move to get out. a nervous laugh escapes him then, breaking the awkward silence in your car like a clap of thunder.
"this was nice," you say eventually, lips upturned in a sort of half-smile. endearing, even cute.
"it was," he nods, trying desperately to keep this moment going as long as it can. just the thought of leaving you again after spending years drowning in the emptiness gives him a headache. chris spent enough time dawdling around like an idiot, going so far as to refuse to change phone numbers in the small chance you would never contact him again.
you're picking at your nails during his internal monologue, that same worried pinch forming between your brows. you're, once again, the one to break the silence. "chris, i-"
his lips are on yours then. thick hands curled around your neck, keeping you in place for one second, then two, then three.
his eyes are still squeezed shut when he pulls away.
"fuck," he whispers, jolting back like you had slapped him. "i'm sorry, i just have wanted to do that for a while, and i couldn't let you go away again without doing something."
"chris."
"i know it was stupid, and impulsive," he keeps going, purposefully avoiding eye contact. "i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, i just-
"chris," the stern tone of your voice is enough to make him stop mid-ramble, peering up at you hopefully. you only laugh in response, before raising your hand to the nape of his neck. his hair is longer than you remember it being. just another way he's changed.
"yeah." he sighs, defeated. just another part of his life that he's royally fucked up. another friend he's going to lose, and this time it's not to circumstances out of his control. not because of bloodshed or shitty calls. this one is purely on him, because he really does lose all sense around you.
instead of slapping him, or yelling at him, like he expects you to— you take pity on him. "are you going to shut the hell up and kiss me?"
there's another long stretch of silence then, the only sign that chris even heard you is the glimmer of hope twinkling in his eye.
"fuck yeah, i am." he smiles, before pulling you into him again.
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justcallmesakira · 1 year ago
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HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!
"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"
Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!
Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)
Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,
A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<
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nahhh like brother like sister :/
NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you
But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)
Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do
This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;
However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know
You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!
Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏
Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment
Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!
Honestly dazai would be chill though-
Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe
FUCKING SLU--
You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:
"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"
Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that
AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍
When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void
like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--
One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground
"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''
All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori
your getting grounded <3
"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"
he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"
damn.. dazai become eminem
the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny
LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!
"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"
#siblinggoalsfr
fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"
dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths
uh oh...
So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!
Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍
No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--
Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"
one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother
"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"
everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???
"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy
JKJK-
Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl
"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"
dramatic gossip girlie fr
like its literly like
"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"
i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*
during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3
kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~
until your silly ahh falls! :D
And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-
Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!
"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"
Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor
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A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33
Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade
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howlett-n-morgan · 5 months ago
Text
Take Me Home
3. Worthiness
Arthur Morgan x Texas Red!Reader
A/n: Apologies for taking so long in between to repost these chapters, it's almost fashion week and I am CRAMMING everything my ass can handle into the next few weeks lmaooo. pls enjoy and let me know what you think!
Summary: Abigail gains a new friend and gossip partner to chat with over meals, and Pearson has had enough of it. Luckily, Dutch has something lined up and ready to take the kid out of camp.
Warnings: Mild Language, gun violence. Game typical violence. Robbery/heist shenanigans. Fluff and Angst, because who doesn't love that combo? Arthur and reader get into a fight and want to kill each other for like a split second but it ends fine I swear.
WC: 6.1k
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“I think I could drop you where you stand.” You were all talk, now, and he knew that
 but it still boiled under his skin the way you challenged him.  “You make quite a big to do of yourself
 M’guessin’ that’s where most of your reputation came from,” he smirked, but he should know better than to taunt you about those men you shot dead. “Before I got here I barely spoke a word to no one
 I got my reputation from shootin’ folks so fast they didn’t have time to repent to God.” 
You’ve taken to a new hobby. You’re not quite sure the word that describes it right, but to explain what it entails, a bit of background needs to be added for understanding. 
Abigail is borderline nine months pregnant. 
John Marston, the everloving man that he is, has taken it upon himself to steer clear of her in the last stages of her pregnancy. 
Given this unfortunate situation, Abigail finds herself eating more and more food to try and relieve the stress. She also finds herself ranting to you about the dimwitted man that impregnated her, because you seem the most open to listening without offering advice. Truth be told, you just enjoy the company of a woman that doesn’t shy away from you, or try to woo you over. It brings about a sense of normalcy. 
Now, in the past weeks that this has been happening, you’ve taken to eating at the same times as Abigail, shoveling more and more into your plate like she does. It’s now become a ritual, or as you would like to call it, a hobby, to sit and devour food while shit-talking John Marston as he’s away. ‘Keeping his distance,’ whatever the hell that means, when the woman you’re with is nine months pregnant. 
In the midst of this new hobby, Dutch and Pearson have had many arguments. Dutch was always less than concerned about it, whilst Pearson nearly threw a fit every time either of you came to get portions for a meal.
“I’ve had enough of it. They come, they eat, they leave! That new boy of yours hasn’t done anything since he got here but eat us out of our stock,” Pearson complained for the hundredth time. Though you’d kept up with chores around the camp, (trying to help Abigail pick up some of her slack) you hadn’t really brought any money into the camp, which was what Dutch brought you here to do.
“Arthur’s been trainin’ him well, I’m sure it’ll be no time at all before he starts runnin’ jobs with us.” Dutch knew what this was really about

Pearson was madder than a hornet when John first got Abigail pregnant. Even worse when he found out she would be traveling with the gang from then on. Feeding a pregnant woman was sometimes like feeding two extra men
 not to mention the fact that you joined her at every meal. He doesn’t want to say anything about Abigail, especially in the state she’s in
 but maybe if you didn’t sit and eat with her all the damn time, it wouldn’t be as bad, and the rations would last longer. 
“He better start earnin’ his keep. If he doesn’t I’ll skin him, make a stew.”
Dutch let out a boisterous laugh, clapping Pearson on the back and shaking his head. 
“I have a feeling he’ll probably bring in as much as Arthur
 There’s some sort of competition between them. I think as long as they don’t rip each other to shreds, they’ll be real beneficial,” He started towards Hosea, passing by you and Abigail on the way and tipping his hat. “Top of the mornin’ to ya.”
“Mornin’,” you nodded with a smile, taking a sip of your coffee before digging back into the bread and jam you both raided from Pearson’s ‘kitchen.’
He ducked into his tent, and you turned back to Abigail, listening intently to all she had to say. Today, she had news of an argument between her and John the night before. 
“It’s been all, ‘how do I even know that kid is mine?’ and ‘what if I don’t want to be a part of it anymore?’ since about the five month mark. M’startin’ to think that maybe I should’ve just left the gang, convinced some poor drunk dope from the town it’s his.” She gave her best John impression when quoting him, and as funny as it was, all you could feel was grief for the young woman. She was too young to even be thinking this way. 
You’ve not spent any one on one time with John, but he sounds like a real ass.
“As sad as I am to say it, Miss Abigail
 I believe most of us men are stupid as they come. We can’t tell what’s right in front of us, even if y’all are screamin’ and shoutin’.”
“If that ain’t the truth
” she trailed, sighing with her head down. Even though she portrayed her sorrows in a comedic light, you could tell it weighed on her. 
You weren’t sure if you should even offer this, because you had no idea if you would even be hiding your secret this long, but the longer you go without revealing anything
 you’re starting to think of your little secret more permanently.
“If push comes to shove
 You can tell the kid it’s mine. Not too sure it’ll believe you, what with the carrot head I got, but if you want to
”
She laughed lighthearted, and sighed again, but this time out of contentment. 
“I guess not all men are stupid. You’re not even the first one who’s offered that to me,” she explained, nodding towards the outskirts of camp where an open tent fixed upon a wagon sat neatly kept. “Arthur said the same thing when all these problems with John started.”
You smiled, looking at his empty living space, barely anything to show that he occupied the place. He had a simple cot and bedroll, a small table, and just a few sentimental pieces here and there. He didn’t need anything fancy or grandiose to his name, just a gun and his hat, and he was satisfied. He’s even kinder than you thought, too, hearing it firsthand from Abigail. A good man, and a great outlaw. You found yourself longing for him nearly every day now, and it would only get worse from here. 
“He’s sure something, ain’t he?” You tried to be nonchalant about him, and it seemed to work in the eyes of Abigail, but if she’d known just one little thing about you, her entire mind would be changed. 
“Oh, yes. I’ll be damn straight with ya, I almost wish it were Arthur I met last year. Wish it was him that found me at the brothel. I do love John, but
 he breaks my heart sometimes,” she let out, trying to hold herself together. She’d long since begun crying herself to sleep at night, pretty much since John decided she could sleep on her own. Now, though, was not the place to break down. You’ve been kind enough to listen to her, and she feels as though using your shoulder to cry on would be taking advantage. So she changes the subject. “While I’m on the topic of love
 I’ve heard you got an admirer.”
Your cheeks grew red from embarrassment, and she thought that maybe you were blushing, but she didn’t know how far off she was. “I guess I’ve heard a thing or two ‘bout that
”
“Tilly is a sweet girl, I’m sure you both would get along fine,” she added, going back to her food. 
“She’s one of the kindest souls I’ve met,” you told her, trying to be as honest as you could without divulging anything she didn’t need to know. “I’ve just never
”
“You’ve never
 what?” 
You shrugged, huffing a sigh and eating the last piece of jam covered bread on your plate. Already you could tell you’d be hungry again soon. “Never been in a relationship like that before.”
“I see. Is that something you think you’d want?” Her patience is why you liked speaking with her. Sometimes she had a short temper, but it was almost always warranted and towards those who deserved it. 
You took her question to heart. You’d not even considered a relationship since the day you ran away. Your self-found freedom had been from an arranged marriage. It had been your choice to leave that way of life. You never thought you’d ever find love in the aftermath of your liberation, but thinking about it now
 You looked to Arthur’s tent, just a single glance to see if he’s returned yet.
“I hope so, maybe someday when the time is right. I just think that right now, I’m not so sure about anything at all, and it wouldn’t be fair to Miss Tilly to start up something I ain’t ready for.”
She sat and stared into your downward expression for a minute, meeting your eyes when you looked up. 
You smirked a little at her gaping expression, trying to make light of it. 
“I got somethin’ on my face?” 
“No,” she shook her head, knocking herself out of whatever trance she just fell into. “S’just that
 I think you’re mighty wise for someone your age. And for a man, too.” 
“I reckon that’s a real fine compliment, and I’ll take it well.”
You both shared a laugh before going back to the stashed food for seconds. 
-
Dutch had an idea
 a dangerous thing, but sometimes a very lucrative one. 
The worst part about this dangerous and lucrative idea? Arthur, Javier, John, and Bill were on board. It meant there was gonna be one hell of a party this afternoon, and no one in their right mind would have the courage to stop it. 
You were unaware of said idea until around lunch time, when Pearson just ripped you a new one for taking food before it was even ready. You shared it with Abigail of course, you’re not an animal.
Dutch and Hosea were making the plans for this afternoon, and came across you both sulking in the grass, just inches away from Pearson’s space. They grabbed some small provisions for themselves, as they hadn’t quite eaten much today, and you overheard some of their chatter. 
“I’m getting too old for all that excitement. One job here and there is all I can do anymore,” Hosea tried to reason with his dearest friend. 
“I need another gun or it doesn’t work,” Dutch sighed out, scratching the back of his neck as he thought of another solution. 
You stood up and peeked over the barrel you’d been resting against, leaning over it and making your presence known. 
“I got a gun,” you smirked, halfway joking incase he shuts you down. He hasn’t told you directly that he doesn’t want you riding with them yet, but he has asked Arthur if he thinks you’re ready
 to which Arthur always replied, ‘almost.’ 
Dutch narrowed his eyes at you, looking back to Hosea, but the man held his hands up in mock defense. He was gonna sit this one out regardless.
“How’s your horse with gunfire?” he asked, genuinely considering your offer today. 
“He oughta be fine, otherwise I can take someone else’s.”
There was another moment of pause, and Hosea spoke up. 
“Sean would be happy to go, he hasn’t seen action in a few weeks.” 
You sighed, doing your best to act as if you weren’t upset, then started to speak loudly.
“That’s fine by me. I’ll just stay here and have lunch with Abigail
” you trailed, and immediately Pearson whipped himself around from his station. 
“No!” He shouted, and though you were partially joking, he didn’t want to find that out for himself. He’d had enough of you, and likely of Abigail, too. “As God is my witness, I will pack my shit and never look back
 take him, I’m beggin’ ya.”
Dutch found his little outburst quite comical, as did you. He chuckled lowly and rolled it over in his head once more before deciding. Maybe what you really needed to learn was being thrown in the deep end. Hell, he knew what you were capable of. It was the very reason you stood on this ground in the first place. Now he needed to put those fiery trigger fingers to the test. 
“Son,” he turned back to face you with a look of sheer confidence, hopefully this didn’t mean the pressure would all be on you. “Saddle your horse, load up on ammo. You’ll be going with John.”
The smile you had immediately left your face. 
“Yessir,” you said quickly, leaving the group to do as he said. 
John Marston, the man you’d been shit talking for over a week now. Not to his face, of course, but to his lady it was enough, even if she was doing just as much if not more in sullying his name. 
You had a bad taste for him, that much you could say. It wasn’t going to be fun, but you’d prevail. You had to. It was time to start earning your keep. 
You found the rest of the men by the hitching posts, strolling up as confidently as can be. You enjoyed the baffled looks of confusion they wore, unsure of what you were doing here. Surely you wouldn’t be joining them

“Howdy,” you teased, tipping your hat to them with a sideways smirk. Your young looking ‘boyish’ features gave them an inkling of annoyance with the look you wore, all cocky and arrogant for show. “Give me just a second, I’ll be ready to head out.”
“You’re coming with us?” Bill questioned, though it wasn’t out of sheer curiosity, but agitation.
“Damn straight,” you muttered quieter, done joking for now since they all seemed to be absolutely against you riding along. You got along with them in camp, why did they seem to exclude you now that a job was concerned? Why did they look like they were about to fight tooth and nail to keep you here?
You ignored their sarcastic chatter over your ‘scrawny’ appearance, and made ready your horse. You’d taken him riding several times since getting here, but he hasn’t gotten to see much action other than running down the side of the river bank. 
“What the hell are you doin’?” Arthur came up beside you, trying to gain your primary focus and lead it away from the horse
 not exactly a hard task when you look like Arthur Morgan does.
“Dutch said I’m ridin’ on the job,” you explained, making it very clear, first and foremost, that you had permission to go out with them from the boss.
“When? Just now? Because as it was told to us, you weren’t goin’...” 
“I get y’all don’t exactly want me here, but he needed another gun. I happen to have one, matter of fact, and I’m pretty damn good at shootin’ it. I don’t understand your hissy fit, but it ain’t gonna stop me from goin’, so I hope we’re not gonna have a problem, here.” 
He kept his mouth shut. He needed to think and rehash his words in his head before he let something fly that he didn’t at all mean. 
“I’m tryin’ to protect you, kid.” He was even closer than before all of a sudden, and you had to make him the center of your attention once again.
“Protect me from what? I shoot faster than you, remember?”
You made a point, but he made a better one. 
“You mean ‘the one shot you know how to take?’ Is that the one?” He recalled your words from many days before, the day he began teaching you everything you needed to know. You’d been here nearly a month now, if you hadn’t learned enough already, you never would.
“Look, Arthur,” you turned away from him using all the strength you had, because dammit, you did enjoy looking at him. “I know you don’t think this is ideal, but it’s not your call to make. Take it up with Dutch.”
You strapped a rifle to your horse and grabbed its reins from the hitching post, leading the dark, glossy stallion over by where the boys were finishing up. 
“Marston,” you called, all traces of light hearted fun were gone from your tone, completely dulled and sullen from the loss of excitement. “I’m with you.”
-
Arthur rode with Dutch nearly the whole time.
You were on the caboose end of the cavalcade, and watched them talk up ahead. There was no doubt in your mind it concerned you, because that’s why Arthur is so high strung, so angry about this job. 
Javier gave you the run-down on the first few minutes of the ride. It’s a quick job, and shouldn’t get drawn any attention from the neighboring towns. Essentially, there’s a procession of carriages coming from the north and heading south east, and most of the folk traveling are fairly wealthy. The kicker is, all the valuables from each person are said to be stowed on a ‘safe cart’ in the middle of the procession. You’re not sure how they figure that, but you know Dutch has incredible sources. Using the team assembled, you’ll all have to separate the safe cart from the rest of the caravan, leading it off the trail and far enough away that it can be easily raided with no repercussions. The only downside? The safe cart is heavily guarded by several armed men and is manned by experienced drivers. 
Once Javier started getting into the logistics and details of the job, you zoned out, focusing on the conversation happening with Arthur and Dutch up ahead. You had no clue what they were saying, but the body language and facial expressions said a lot. 
Arthur likely expressed his concerns to Dutch, and thereafter, was told he need not be concerned
 But Arthur was a persistent animal, he didn’t just dip his head and turn away. 
You think that Arthur may have listed a few points for Dutch to consider, and that the man did so, with the fact in the forefront of his mind that you were still on the job. 
By the time everyone reached the lookout, the two of them circled around to face the rest. 
“There’s been a change of plan,” Dutch called out, looking over every face and the horse they accommodated, and they lasted longer on you than the others. “John, you’re taking the frontside of the caravan with Javier.”
And just like that, you’d been replaced. 
“Where am I goin’ then?” You tilted your head in confusion.
“You’re with me, Red,” Arthur let out, his tone not nearly as angry as earlier. Now you gotta know what happened during that talk with Dutch.
“Yes, you and Arthur will bring up the back, makin’ sure there’s no surprises.”
You weren’t sure what to feel. Was he trying to keep you where he could see you? Did he think of himself as your babysitter? Why would he put up all that fuss just to give in as long as you rode with him?
“Alright,” you sighed out, acknowledging that bringing up the rear of the operation was still better than not coming at all. 
The rest of the plan stayed the same, and soon, everyone split off with their respective partners for this heist. 
You rode off with Arthur in silence to the waiting point, not daring to say anything until you’d been sure nobody was around to hear it. You weren’t going to rip into him about this, but you had questions. He clearly was concerned over your wellbeing if he fought so hard to make sure you wouldn’t be riding in, guns blazing, on your first job. You were just going to cover the rear, a measure of security. 
When you stopped just short of the trail, you hitched your horses, taking cover behind some bushes and trees to lay low. You turned to Arthur with a huff. 
“What the hell was that?” 
He was taken aback, but not jumpy about your outburst.
“Don’t start with this again, kid. I’m tryin’ to help you,” he crossed his arms, leaning against the tree and watching the road. It was still too early for the caravan, but he didn’t want to meet your eyeline.
“You ain’t helpin’ me, you’re holdin’ me back,” you grumbled, stepping on a small gathering of dead leaves, becoming even more enraged - for no good reason - when they didn’t crunch beneath your boot. 
“You’ll thank me one day
” he trailed, lighting a cigarette from within his pocket. You would have decked him in the face if you thought it would help. 
At first you’d been grateful to him, for seeing you no differently than the others, and even showing you the ropes to become better equipped. Now you could see it was all a ruse. He underestimated you and kept telling Dutch you weren’t ready. He kept ‘training’ you to keep you busy. You weren’t falling for that shtick again. You didn’t care how pretty his eyes were, anymore. 
“Where do you get off, Morgan? The shit you’ve been putting me through these past weeks
” you scoffed, finding it amusing almost just how unbothered he seemed to be. Maybe he really was just as mean as the town’s folk say. “I’ve been able to match or best you at everything you’ve thrown at me. Maybe I should just take you out of my way.” 
He chuckled, standing upright and creeping towards you with slow steps. His eyes narrowed, and for once, you felt you knew what it was like to be prey. 
“You wanna give it a try?ïżœïżœ he taunted, towering over you with a threatening stare. Just seeing how intimidating he could really be, you wanted to back off. Of course, you didn’t. “You really think you could take me?” 
His voice was all too quiet, all too calm. The words he spoke held such heaviness, but it didn’t show in his tone. He was teasing you, and if you gave in, he’d likely give you a humbling. You knew he’d been eyeing your hand, as if hovered closely to your gun belt
 so you dropped it to your side to defuse him a little. 
“I think I could drop you where you stand.”
You were all talk, now, and he knew that
 but it still boiled under his skin the way you challenged him. 
“You make quite a big to do of yourself
 M’guessin’ that’s where most of your reputation came from,” he smirked, but he should know better than to taunt you about those men you shot dead.
“Before I got here I barely spoke a word to no one
 I got my reputation from shootin’ folks so fast they didn’t have time to repent to God.” 
Your dead eye stare caught him. He didn’t back down, didn’t waver
 he was so staunchly preserved in his way of life that he didn’t even let it show in his eyes just how much you got to him with that line.
“Your twenty-one notches ain’t shit to me.” He’s sure that by now he’s killed hundreds, maybe thousands. Sure, most he shot in the back, but the number in which he didn’t still far surpasses your miniscule little twenty-one. 
“Then let’s make it twenty-two, yeah?” You didn’t plan on shooting it, but you drew your pistol faster than he could think, trying to put it against his chest to scare him, but his reaction time was faster than you had initially thought. He grabbed the gun from your hand before it ever neared him, and threw it into the grass behind him before shoving you down.  
“Damnit, Red! You have no clue, do you?” He stood over you angrily, looking at your frozen figure like you were an animal he was hunting. “You got a gift that none of us have. Hell, I’ve been doin’ this for sixteen years and I still ain’t as fast as you. You could be the best of us, but you’re too damn stubborn, and too damn arrogant. You’re never gonna get anywhere if you’re dead.”
You stood to your feet, staring at him silently. You didn’t have anything to say to him, and honestly, you weren’t sure what would even be okay at this point. He was still angry, but his arms were no longer tense, and he wasn’t seething through harsh breaths anymore. You turned away from him and walked to your horse, sitting back down by the base of a tree and tipping your hat over your eyes. This was going to be a long day.
-
It was approaching sundown when the caravan actually arrived. You’d been napping when Dutch and Bill first gave the signal. Arthur had been watching for it the entire time, and scoffed when he turned his head to you, finding you still fast asleep as if you had nothing to worry about. 
He took a few steps over towards your resting place, kicking your boot and startling you out of your peaceful slumber. 
“What?” you asked, annoyed. Your hat was still over your eyes, so he couldn’t see how dazed you actually were. 
“Sorry, miss
 didn’t mean to disturb you,” he teased, his mood having cooled off since the hours after the fight you had. “Just thought you should be conscious during your first job.”
You huffed and stood to your feet, fixing your hat and making sure you hadn’t left anything on the ground. 
Arthur went back to the lookout position and watched through his binoculars for any signs that it was about to go down
 you still weren’t one hundred percent clear on the plan, so you thought you might try and annoy him a little by reiterating it.
“So
 Dutch and Bill are gonna close in on the sides, leadin’ the safe carriage away from the rest, and that’s when Javier and John stop it from the front. I got that right?” 
“You got it right,” he droned on mindlessly, trying his best to pay more attention to the small flaming signal in the distance. It’s getting closer, but until they put the fire out, there’s no need to mount your horses. 
“Then it‘s a four man job, they don’t even need us.”
“I s’pose you never heard the term ‘backup’ then, have you?” He snickered, still not even giving a glance in your direction. He was firm as stone in his resolve, and you figured it would be no use trying to entertain yourself further. 
“Didn’t take you as the ‘backup’ type
” you grumbled under your breath, mumbling some other incoherencies that he didn’t get a chance to hear. He was almost sure he saw Bill creeping over to the torch, and became positive when the light went dark. 
“Get on your horse,” he became quieter, more focused. You instantly figured it out that he was the type to zone in on his jobs, and maybe you could learn from it. If you really wanted to be his equal, you needed to learn to meet or best him in everything he thrives at. 
“You get the signal?” 
He nodded, “they’re coming down the trail, we gotta be ready to chase em’ when they come through.”
You both pulled up onto your saddles, holding the horse’s from moving too much. If your position was given away, they might derail the caravan from the trail. You reckon this many rich folk traveling in a pack oughta know someone’s gonna be stupid enough to steal from them. It’s why they have a safe carriage in the first place. 
Within a moment, you can see the caravan coming over the hill. It’s dimly lit as the sun lowers completely behind the mountains, small lanterns clinging to every vehicle on the trail. You look up to the ridge that Arthur had been scoping out all this time, and you see Dutch and Bill riding downwards in a rapid attempt to split the caravan. That’s when you spot it
 the stone cold metal wagon, weighing probably more than all the horses in camp combined, and armed to the brim with men on every corner. They carry heavy repeaters, their heads on a swivel. They haven’t seen Dutch or Bill yet, but as they round the corner, they all raise their weapons, just for the sound of horse hooves. 
“Cover ‘em,” Arthur told you, grabbing his rifle off his horse’s saddle. You did the same, not hesitant to start shooting at the men in the distance. You had relatively good cover, and couldn’t really be seen, but upon seeing so much fire come from your side of the trail, they began offroading towards Dutch and Bill. 
“Do we go?” you asked, switching to your pistol as you prepared to let your horse run. 
“Not yet,” he held his hand for you to watch, leaning sideways to see around another tree. He had to make sure the rest of the caravan wasn’t following the safe cart. When he saw that most of them stopped in place, he flicked his wrist, pointing in the direction you needed to go. “Now.”
You rode quickly and out onto the trail, passing the other carriages. You could vaguely hear women crying and men yelling. They ain’t gotta be afraid for their lives, so long as they stay put. 
It wasn’t hard to catch up to the gang, as they had taken the remaining guards off on the way to stopping the carriage. There was one rogue horseman that Arthur turned and shot before he could get too close to the area, but other than that, they were able to get the damn thing stationary enough to rob. 
“John, hold him off,” Dutch commanded, watching the younger man hold his gun to the carriage driver’s skull. The man cried out for mercy, not knowing that Dutch would spare his life regardless. He was unarmed, and wasn’t standing in their way, so obviously they would let him go. The Van Der Linde’s did have a code, after all. “Arthur, you open the back.”
And so he put his gun away and strolled up to the back of the wagon with his head held high, happy this robbery went according to plan
 until of course, he opened the back, and was unprepared for a heavily armed man to aim right for his chest and pull the trigger. Two guns sounded at almost the same time, but yours sounded first, and it was just quick enough to skew the aim of the dead man, and he landed a non-fatal blow to Arthur’s shoulder. Both men collapsed, but one was still alive. Twenty-Two

“Arthur! You alright, son?” Dutch yelled, running over to check on him. You’d already knelt down by where he had fallen back to, trying to sit up, but failing because of the pain. You immediately put pressure on his wound, trying to stop the bleeding on your own accord. You ripped the bandana from your neck and tried tying it up, but it was just barely long enough to go around his entire shoulder and underarm. 
“M’fine, s’just a minor shot, it went through.”
“Brooks, you oughta take him back to camp, see if any of the girls know how to patch him up,” he gave you direct orders, and you nodded, helping a moaning and groaning Arthur to his feet. 
“How’d we make out?” Arthur asked, looking into the open wagon, where Bill and Javier seemed to be rolling in money.
“Pretty damn good,” Dutch replied, giving a pat to your shoulder, since Arthur’s is in disarray. “And Brooks?” 
You looked over your shoulder at him, a hopeful look on your face, longing for the approval of someone besides yourself for once. “Yeah?”
“You did good.”
And there it was, the signed seal of approval from none other than Dutch Van Der Linde himself. 
You and Arthur remained pretty silent on the ride back to camp, mostly because he was in a shocking amount of pain and distress, but he did his best to hold it in.
You hitched and unsaddled his horse for him, doing the same with yours before following him into camp. He made way for one of the ladies, maybe Abigail if Jack was asleep already, or Karen if she wasn’t busy workin’ some of the town men. 
“Hey,” you recognized what he was doing, so you pulled him by the opposite arm in the direction of his tent. “I’ll do it.”
His living area was just wide open space in the trees, unlike yours, however, he got quite a bit more elbow room than you did. Perks of seniority
“You don’t have to-”
“I’m tryna apologize, you should let me.”
He laughed a little, a soft smile on his lips.
“What’re you apologizing for?” He asked, sitting down into his cot as you rummaged through the supplies he had on hand. Maybe not the best stuff around, but to stitch him up and wrap it after, it was fine. He’d survive. 
“Bein’ an ass, and taunting you when I know you could snap my neck in one hand.” You were flat in your tone, too focused on threading a needle to put any effort behind your words. 
“I’d never,” he said, laughing a little. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood for just having been shot. 
“You might,” you tied the thread off and bit the end to break it from the spool. Very hygienic, you know, but you didn’t find a pair of scissors. “You’ve only just barely reached the surface for just how obnoxious I can be.”
“Oh have I now?” 
“Mhm
”
You pulled at his shirt collar, opening just a few more buttons until it could pull back over his arm. He didn’t stop you, or even wince, just sat back and waited for the sting of a needle.
“This ain’t gonna tickle,” you braced him, but as soon as you started digging into his skin, making the actual stitches, he was surprised. You were pretty good at this
 the reasoning behind it was probably just another one of your many secrets, he’s sure.
“S’not so bad, actually. You do this a lot?” 
“Not anymore
 but I was a little rich girl, remember? Did embroidery and needlepoint since I was a little kid. I kind of miss it, actually.” 
“A gunslinger misses doin’ needlepoint?” he chuckled, feeling the hole in his skin being patched back together. Now you just gotta do the other side. 
“Well sure,” you furrowed your brows, leaning forward to bite the thread again and pull his body so you could see the exit wound. “I used to sit on the porch of my house and do it with my mama.”
He felt sorrowful all of a sudden. “Were you uh
 close with your mother?”
You nodded, not speaking in fears you’d tear up, or your voice would crack. The way you both were sitting, he couldn’t see the direct look on your face, but he understood it was probably a sensitive subject. 
Oh to think, what a life you may have led if you were not born a girl. You missed your mother, and your old friends from school. You missed being able to do needlepoint, and other more feminine activities. 
“You know what I hate most about this life?” you uttered, your voice shallow, but you didn’t seem to care all that much anymore. He seemed to take a genuine interest in your problems, and your personal feelings. It was more than you could say about most men. “I haven’t worn a dress in four years
 and I really love dresses.”
This wasn’t the meltdown you saw yourself having in front of Arthur, but he didn’t mind it. He placed his opposite hand on your shoulder as you bit off the last thread to seal his wounds. 
“How about this
 someday, when you’ve told everyone that you’re- y’know
” he trailed, nodding his head around for emphasis. “I’ll buy you a dress in town. Whichever one you want.”
You couldn’t help but smile. In the span of one day, you’d gone through nearly every emotion you possibly could with this man, but in the end, your resolve had again been weakened, and you found yourself falling into his crystal eyes once more. 
“Thank you, Arthur
 You’re a kind man, you know?” 
He shook his head. “Not so kind to most.”
You knew not to argue with him, as you were learning, he was very self deprecating, and there was no changing his mind. You took a leap, unsure of what might come of it, but you wanted to show your gratuity some other way. 
You quickly leaned forward, kissing his cheek ever so softly, almost as if it didn’t even happen. When you sat back, his eyes were a bit wider, and his brows were raised. He seemed to be frozen in surprise, and words failed him. You didn’t want him to possibly find words that could hurt, so you stood up to leave, calling after him whilst walking away. 
“Goodnight, Arthur.”
And that would have been good enough, but your heart skipped a beat when your sentiment was returned. 
“Night, Red.”
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Tags: @photo1030 @sheepdogchick @snoopysshark @strvberrydoll
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thirstydemisexual · 10 months ago
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May I have something with Buggy being hopelessly in love with someone that both Crocodile and Mihawk are casually trying to pursue as well? I would love a typical “Two people betting with each other who can seduce someone faster, being so sure that they will sweep them off their feet- “Oh I am really flattered, but actually I’m interested in Buggy” scenario here.
Would love to see Buggy happy-ugly-crying (even uglier than usual) when he finds out because???? He WON!??? AGAINST SIR CROCODILE AND MIHAWK??? While said men are witnessing this weird spectacle from afar, for the most part being good natured about it and not holding a grudge, but also being highly confused because
 Buggy? Neither of them even considered Buggy a plausible option for reader insert. Neither of them would have ever looked at each other and even speculated that their rival in this wooing contest might be the damn clown. Eh, can’t win them all. (And maybe they dodged a bullet here because if they choose the clown they must be completly out of their mind)
AHHHHH it's so giving The Grinch x Martha may and I LOVE IT! THAT DYNAMIC IS GOLD, hope you like this, I know it's not really my best work :/ been recovering from a bad fall. But I had fun writing this đŸ«¶
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HOPELESSđŸ”ȘđŸ€Ą|| Buggy x gn!reader
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✩being in the cross guild was the most bizarre thing that happened in your life, sure living in a world where people ate devil’s fruit and gained power was bizarre enough
 but working in group with Crocodile, Mihawk and Buggy of all people was so much out of your comfort zone that even the marines were surprised you were involved in the guilt. You were known to be a lone wolf like Mihawk, with no crew and no known attachment to other people, so you grouping up with somebody was a first.
✩in truth it wasn't really that you didn't like working with people, it was more tho that you had troubling understanding people intentions, you were stabbed in the back way too often for you to willingly put yourself in that position
BUT
✩ You really liked Buggy, having had a crush on him for years and you were dead set on pursuing him, what better way to spend time with him than working with him and gaining power and notoriety as well? And Mihawk and Crocodile, were not really your favorite people but you were willing to put up with them, but they were very much pushing the line with how much they abused the poor clown
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✩You are considered as one of the most powerful and beautiful people of the seven seas, you were strong and reliable and very loyal it was no wonder to Buggy that Mihawk and Crocodile were dead set on pursuing you. They had been competing with each other for your attention since you all grouped up, and he couldn’t blame them. You are wonderful, and so full of charm, he fell for you long ago but his insecurities got in the way. NO ABSOLUTE WAY A GOD/GODDESS LIKE THEM LIKES SOMEONE LIKE HIM. Especially over THE Mihawk and THE Sir Crocodile. 
✩He felt like he had absolutely no chances
✩ Somehow you were clueless, both to his interest and to the advances of the other two. Which was surprising with how much they were flaunting themselves over you.
✩ It was Valentine's day and Crocodile and Mihawk had had a staring contest all day while showering you with gifts. You had thought they were doing it only in a friendly way, and gladly accepted the lavish gift they proposed you but to them it seemed you reciprocated both of them which didn’t sit right them
✩ Buggy spent all day looking longingly at you, the chocolates he clumsy made for you in an attempt to finally ask you out sitting in his back pocket. He was sure you were going to pick one of the others instead of him.
✩ at the end of the work day Mihawk and Crocodile confront you, Buggy sitting on thebopposite corner of the room with a glass of rum clutched in his hands.
"Will you share a wine bottle with me tonight?" Asks Mihawk
"No, they won't. I arranged for us for the finest restaurant in town" interjects Sir Crocodile
✩ that's when you realize their affection is not really platonic
"Ehm, actually I was thinking of asking Buggy" you reply blushing hard
Buggy chokes on his drink, face turning as red as his nose under the face paint.
You rush to him to pat on his back trying to help him stop the fit of cough that the chocking caused
"Asking me what?" He's very confused because you can't POSSIBLY be meaning what he hopes.
That's when you shyly offer him a paper bag he hadn't noticed you having before.
"Come on, open it"
✩ Under the bright red tissue paper he finds a chocolate box and a beautiful ornate dagger, with blue and red gems embezzled in it
"The gems reminded me of you" you told, a bit unsure. His face had pure shock and rended him in silence, you didn't know if it was a good sign.
✩ after a second his eyes glass over and he asks in an almost whiny tone
"You were thinking of me?" at that you giggle
"Of course silly! Will you be my Valentine?"
At this point Crocodile and Mihawk are just awkwardly standing there đŸ§đŸ»â€â™€ïžđŸ§đŸ»â€â™€ïž... like were they blind? of course those two idiots loved each other
✩ "FUCK YESS!" Buggy basically trows yourself at you and brings you into a soaring kiss. His ego boosting. He envelops you with an arm while he detaches the other end to go to the two standing there while pointing the middle finger
✩ and you can't do anything other than blush and giggle into the kiss because gods he's an idiot, but you love him for it
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#NO BETA WE DIE LIKE ACE
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