#I AM ATTACKING ASK BOXES WITH MY PRESENCE!!!

[hanahaki-disease]

Driven by a Holy Force

Hell or High Water - Percy Jackson/DC crossover

Summary:

“Percy took a deep breath. This was it. No going back now. He can’t manipulate the mist to change their minds, he can’t make them forget—this was the real deal.”

This is it!! The reveal!!

*********************************************

You: Come to the cave 2:26 am

You: Important meeting 2:26 am

Edge Lord: no 2:29 am

Edge Lord: why 2:29 am

You: it’s important 2:31 am

You: please 2:32 am

Edge Lord: fine 2:35 am

Percy slid his phone back into his pocket, hoping the signal didn’t alert any monsters nearby. He doubts they’d be able to find him though. At the speed they were going, as well as all the unnecessary turns and short cuts Bruce was making, he’d be surprised if any monster in general was able to follow. Hell hounds were fast, and their noses were just as good as a normal dog, but the overwhelming scent of mortal that encompassed Gotham helped hide Percy’s demigod scent well. It was one of the main reasons he didn’t get attacked so much, which he was so thankful for.

He told Bruce that he was going to tell him about his father, but he also was going to tell everyone everything because both his father and his life go hand in hand. Percy can’t tell Bruce about his father without telling him about the war, and he can’t tell him about the war without telling him about the prophecy. And because him and Jason have the same father, then he has to explain why Jason died. Everything had layers, it was all connected in a complicated mess that would be easier to explain all at once with everyone there.

Which means having Jason, Bruce, and Dick in the same room for a minimum of at least thirty minuets while he talks. Gods, he hopes no one starts shit.

“Who were you texting?” Bruce asks. They were on one of the back roads that led to one of the cave entrances, dark forest brush and canopies covering the road. How Bruce can see through it, even with his mega-bright headlights, Percy will never understand.

“Jason,” Percy answered, “If I’m going to talk about my father, Jason should be there too. And, I also asked for everyone else to be there too.”

“Why?” Bruce activated the entrance to open, revealing the tunnel that led to the cave.

He paused for a moment, watching the wall lights of the tunnel flash by before it opened into the cave proper. His domino was still in his hands, the glue that kept it secure was drying a cracking on his face and he wanted to scratch and peel it off. “I wanna tell you guys about some stuff other than my father, and I don’t wanna repeat myself five more times than I have to.”

Bruce nodded his head as he parked, their presence catching the attention of the others waiting for them. Stephanie and Tim had just returned from their own patrols, it seemed. All their gear was still attached to them, and they were still wearing their uniforms as well. Their hair a mess of knots and frizz from the wind, various bruises and scraps littered Tim’s arms and Steph was limping as she hobbled to the dressing rooms to change.

Cassandra and Dick were pouring over a case at the meeting table. There were a couple folders open, the documents inside spread out along one end of the surface while a cardboard box filled with other folders took residence on a nearby chair. Both of them wore comfortable civvies, sweatpants and t-shirts (with a ‘borrowed’ hoodie Cass ‘acquired’ from Percy’s closet,) and their dominoes to hide their identities. Because even though they weren’t scheduled for patrol, they still had to follow the ‘masks while in the cave’ rule. (But Percy and Alfred did not follow it since they didn’t leave the property anyways.)

“Woah, where did you go dressed like that?” Dick had done a double take when they pulled up, catching the other’s attention. They all had various levels of surprise, save for Alfred, at the sight of Percy in an all-black version of Tim’s Robin suit. To them, the idea of Percy being like them was a far-fetched and impossible thought. He had always been adamant about not joining them and preferring to stay in the cave, deciding to being Alfred’s assistant when patching them up.

“Needed some fresh air,” he said, taking one of the seats at the table.

Tim slid into one of the chairs beside him, mask removed and cape-less, and in a hushed voice, he asked “Are you?” Percy nodded. “You sure? Won’t you get in trouble?”

“I have to, Tim,” Percy said. “You know what’s coming and I can’t leave in the dark if something happens.”

“Is Jason…?”

“I asked him to come, and it sounded like he was, but everyone’s here,” Percy sighed, “So, I dunno. I hope he does, I don’t wanna repeat myself more than I have to.”

Tim nodded his head, undoing the bracers on his arms. “Okay, well, if you need me to tap in, I can, alright? Imma go change before you start.”

Percy twirled his pen in his hand as he waited for everyone to get situated. For them to shed the armor they wore and to give Jason a chance to arrive before he began. But Percy knows that his brother would rather stay as far away from Bruce as he could, their estranged relationship already on thin ice for reasons Percy didn’t want to know. He probably should know, but he decided to keep Bruce and his brother’s problems to themselves.

Slowly, the others began to fall in, sitting themselves into their unassigned assigned seats. Bruce at the head of the table with Dick and Cassandra on either side of him. Stephanie sat next to Cass, her leg propped up on the empty chair with an ice pack resting on her ankle. Percy was sitting at the opposite head with Tim next to him on his right, watching as Percy twirled riptide in his hands.

Percy took a deep breath. This was it. No going back now. He can’t manipulate the mist to change their minds, he can’t make them forget—this was the real deal.

The flash of a headlight against the cave wall caught their attention before the roar of the motor hit their ears. It startled the bats above them and Percy swore the ground rumbled as well, but maybe he did that by accident. He’s done that before at camp, in the restrooms and in the big house kitchen.

The group all seemed to tense at Jason’s arrival, his recent switch to anti-heroism instead of drug lord did little to calm the other’s nerves. They were glad that Jason was more amenable to working with them after he and Bruce warred it out for a bit. He lingered at the edges of his part of town and didn’t turn the others away immediately, so that was a step in the right direction. Though his status as a crime lord didn’t really bother Dick, Cass, or Percy. They still waltzed into that side of town like they owned it alongside the second Wayne son.

Jason did not want to be here but will endure for Percy.

Heavy boots marched up to the table and a loud scrape of the chair closest to Percy rang in the cave. It seemed like he, too, had just gotten off of his own patrol. He tossed his helmet on the table, echoing in the silence that had fallen on them when Jason arrived. But Jason didn’t pay any attention to Bruce or Dick, their stares boring hole into his back as Jason made his chair face Percy. “Alright. I’m here, what was so important that I had to abandon my after-patrol tacos?”

Percy sat straighter in his chair. “Okay, okay,” he ran his hand over his face, pushing back his fringe, “Okay, so, you know the stories and legends of the Greek gods, right? The deities the ancient Greeks worshiped to explain natural phenomenon and all that. And…you know how the gods in the stories came down to earth and had kids? Heracles, Achilles, Theseus. Well, the gods are real. They are real and they’re still having kids, they’ve never stopped, not really, and I…”

Percy looked at Jason. At his older brother whose mother was the same as his, whose father sired two powerful children.

“My biological father—Jason and I’s biological father—is Poseidon, god of the sea.” They sat there quiet, uncomfortably so, staring at Percy as if he was spewing nonsense. But Percy could tell that Cass believed him. She could tell by the heaviness on his shoulders as he spoke, the tiredness that rolled off him in small waves. Percy also knows that Jason knows he wasn’t lying, some kind of inherit knowledge and acceptance that he was also the son of a god. “And every summer, with the exception of this past Christmas, I have been going to a camp that is designed for demigods to train and learn how to survive.”

“When I was twelve, I didn’t get kidnapped—” This caught Bruce and Dick’s attention. “I had become a fugitive of the state because I was given a quest to find and retrieve the king of the gods’ missing lightning bolt to prevent a war between him and my father. I left the summer after that because I had to find the Golden fleece to save the magic border that was keeping the camp safe after it had been poisoned.

“Last Christmas, I had to rescue two demigods and find the goddess of the hunt who had gone missing while also putting Atlas back in his prison,” Percy kept going, waiting for their reaction when he finished. “This past summer, the summer that Jason came back, I was on a quest with one of my best friends in the Labyrinth to stop Kronos’s forces and to find the lost god of the wild.”

“Percy, wha—” Dick tried but there was no stopping Percy now that he started.

“And, should I have told you all this years ago? Yes, I probably should have considering how close I’ve gotten to dying in the past three years, but,” that left the room feeling heavier than it should, “Next year—on my sixteenth birthday, there is a prophecy that a child of the eldest gods will be the deciding factor of whether Olympus will survive the war against Kronos. I-…I am the prophecy child, and there is a chance that I might…not survive.”

Percy’s voice was near a whisper towards the end, a little shaky as wobbly as he spoke to keep the tears at bay. He doesn’t know why he was acting like this. Percy had come to terms with the fact that he was the child of the prophecy almost a year ago on Olympus when Thalia swore herself to the hunt. He knew that it was up to him, that he would be the one to lead the camp, assemble their meager forces, and train child soldiers against a titan in a year.

He accepted his fate, so why was he close to tears telling his family?

“The fuck to you mean ‘might not survive?’ What do you mean that our father is Poseidon?” Jason was the first to speak, leaning forwards on to the table. “You can’t be serious.”

“You asked me where I had gotten my white streak from, remember? And I told you it was ‘a long story?’” Percy looked at his brother. “I held up the sky for twenty minutes, I kept the sky from falling onto earth and destroying it, and it was the heaviest thing in the entire world. Stephanie once asked where I gotten this scar on my thumb was, I had gotten stung by a scorpion from the pits for Tartarus, whose venom can kill in sixty seconds. This scar on my stomach is from I fought the minotaur on my way to camp for the first time, I have one on my leg from where I got stung by the Chimera. This one if from a pack of hell hounds, this is from some empusai last summer—”

Percy lifted his shirt, exposing the burn scars that ran across his back and his left arm. It was nasty looking, but healed without any lasting damage. Though sometimes in the summer when the days are scorching hot, it felt like his back was on fire once again. Burning from the incomprehensively hot steam that erupted from the volcano. “This is from when St Helens blew up—when I blew up St Helens. If I was lying, Jason,” he looked at his brother a little coldly, offended that he was making this all up when he was marred by the ‘glory’ he had earned. “Then why do I have the scars to prove it.”

“Percy,” Bruce called his name. “What war?”

He sat down in his chair again, “For the past few years, the titan lord Kronos has been rising. He’s growing an army of monsters, minor gods, and other demigods to overthrow Olympus and set everything back to the stone age.”

“Why haven’t we heard anything about this?” Dick asked him. “Why haven’t you told us about this sooner, we could’ve helped.”

“We can’t help,” Tim answered. “Trust me, I’ve tried, but we can’t. We aren’t like Percy or Jason, we can’t see past the mist, we can’t enter camp, were just mortals.”

“You knew! How long have you known?” Stephanie pointed at Tim, who nodded unapologetically, “I’ve known for a year, since Percy came back last Christmas. But I’ve tried everything to see past the mist but I can’t.”

“Mist? What mist?” Cassandra looked to him.

Percy popped open riptide, the bronze sword expanding and folding over itself till it reached it’s full size. He saw Jason’s eyes widen at the sight. Standing in alarm when the Riptides’ point nearly poked him. What the fuck, he mouthed. “The mist is the magical veil that hides and protects the mortals from the mythological mess that is my life. To you, and Tim can confirm, this looks like a bat. A classic, wooden baseball bat—”

“What fuckin’ bat? That’s a goddamn sword!” Jason exclaimed. “Wait, you can’t see it? What the fuck, why can I see it?”

“Because you’re also a son of Poseidon, you’re a demigod like me,” Percy said.

“So why didn’t I go to that camp if I was like you? Why didn’t I train to fight monsters ‘n shit?”

“You weren’t meant to.”

Whatever Jason was feeling stopped, his whole body stopped, as if Percy had just pushed pause on the remote. “What?”

“The fates made it so you didn’t go, it-…your, y’know, was the price father paid.” Percy said, his head resting on his wrist as he said it. Tears once again welling up in his eyes. “Me getting the prophecy was the price father paid for breaking the oath, twice. We aren’t supposed to exist and this is the consequence.”

When Percy looked at Jason again, all the color drained from his face. His words a revelation that shook Jason’s whole worldview to its core. Eyes blown wide, hands in his hair pulling at the roots, as whatever thoughts he was having took over. “Jay,” Someone called but Percy was more worried at the sight of his brother, crumbling apart after realizing not only was his death was intentional but the gods themselves made it happen.

He stumbled backwards, his balance swaying for a second before Jason made eye contact with Percy. And there was a kind of betrayal that Percy could see in his brother’s eyes, the kind that ran hand-in-hand with jealousy. Percy remembers seeing it on the faces of other kids in camp when they learn that Percy has had more contact with their parent than they did, when the gods chose him over their own children.

Jason stumbled his way towards him back, ignoring the concerned calls from Dick and Cassandra. And in a few seconds Jason was speeding away, his helmet still facing Percy on the table.

He wanted to chase after Jason, to tell him everything their father told him this morning. That Poseidon does care for him, that he wanted to step in and save him. But Percy knows that telling him would only make it worse, that telling him that not only does Percy know who they were and who their father was, but that said father preferred Percy over him. That Percy was the child he was willing to speak with (even though that was far from the truth.)

“How do we stop Kronos?” Bruce finally asked, pulling off the cowl, and Percy could see the restrain that kept him rooted to his seat. Bruce wanted to go after Jason too, but he couldn’t, he had to focus on one thing at a time. Batman can multitask and can do many things all at once. But he wasn’t Batman right now. His words might’ve been the bat’s, but the unmasked, worried and pained look he held was his dad’s. It that of a father worried about sending his son, potentially sons head first into a war. One he didn’t even know existed till it might’ve been too late.

“If I knew how, I would tell you, but you guys can’t be a part of this.” Percy tore his eyes away from Jason’s retreating form. “I have already explained this to Tim, but this is a war you can’t fight. The monsters that are a part of that army, as well as the weapons and places they reside, are hidden from mortal minds.”

“So what, we just sit on the sidelines while you go and become a martyr? I’m not letting you do that, Percy,” Dick said.

“You can’t—help—Dick, none of you can, point blank. That’s final.” Percy spoke with a finality of a general. “I’m not telling you guys this to make you feel helpless or to give me pity or any dumb bullshit like that, I’m telling you so that if something happens next year, you won’t be caught off guard. So that if the news around New York is all fucked up, or if aunt Diana disappears for a bit, you’ll know why.”

“Diana knows?” Stephanie asked.

“She’s a daughter of Zeus, technically my cousin,” Percy says. “But the point is: I didn’t want to hide this from you guys anymore. I wanted to keep you guys out of this for as long as I could because monsters follow me everywhere, I’m not safe anywhere but camp, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you guys got hurt because of something from my world.”

“We can defend ourselves, we’re not helpless,” Cassandra protested.

“I know that, but you don’t—you can’t even comprehend all that I’m going up against.” He capped Riptide and in a blink it was back into a pen. “Just, please, trust me. I know what I’m doing and I don’t want you guys in anymore of a risk than you already are, but—” Percy looked at Bruce. “If I need help, be that mortal evac or medics for the wounded or even for collateral clean up, would you come?”

“Of course,” Dick answered for Bruce who seemed to be staring a hole into the table in front of him.

Alfred (where had he been this whole time?) cleared his throat and handed Stephanie a pair of crutches, who grumbled and groaned as she stood up from the chair. “I believe that is all we’ll be able to handle for today as it is getting late, even for you all. Now, all of you, upstairs, time to rest and we’ll further discuss this in the morning.”

One by one they left the cave, Tim hesitant to leave Percy’s side, especially after revealing everything, but Alfred’s pointed stare from the elevators made his feet move of their own accord. By the time the commotion died down again, only Percy and Bruce were left at the table. They faced each other, but neither’s gaze meet the other and neither of them spoke for a bit. He had hands clasped together and help up to his mouth. He did that when he was deep in thought, when he was trying to plan a head to keep them all safe.

Percy knows about the contingencies he was in place for the Justice League and all its members. Knows how to take them down and has access to the lead vault that held their collection of kryptonite for when Superman decided to try and become God. There were even plans on how to take each member of their family down, what steps that needed to be followed and who to get to help. And Percy knows he wasn’t special, he wasn’t excluded from those plans either, but he knows that they were made with the mental image of a regular human Percy. Of the kid who didn’t have powers and only bat-level training.

Now he was a threat, or, an even bigger one than before. Percy had the blood of a god running through his veins and that meant that he was far stronger that most of his family. He could blow up a mountain, summon hurricanes, move the earth. Percy could lift the cave water and manipulate it to his will whenever he wanted. He was a threat level Bruce had never encountered before and now…now he was scared to know how far he’d go to subdue Percy.

He glanced up when Bruce stood from his chair. It was hard to decipher what it was Bruce was thinking, the furrowed eyebrows and hardened stare was that same one he wore all the time. And while Percy was pretty good in understanding the man’s various looks and grunts, he didn’t know how to react when Bruce sat down in the chair Jason had once been in.

“I won’t lie,” Bruce said. “I do not like you leading a war, nor do I like that you kept a threat like this a secret for this long.” Percy deflated under his words. “And I understand that this was not your choice and you have to do whatever you need to do to stop them, but I need to know why it chose you of all the other demigods? Were there no one else this could have been given to?”

Percy shook his head. “At the same time a prophecy was given, the big three swore an oath on the Styx to not have any more kids. Mostly because of how powerful they were, it was why World War 2 happened after all.” He fidgeted with his fingers. “But Zeus and Poseidon didn’t keep to their promise, and because the Styx can’t punish gods, their kids took the penalty.”

Bruce had an arm resting on the table, his hand covering his mouth as he absorbed the information. “Jason was the first, and the oath influenced the events that took his life. Thalia was after him, a daughter of Zeus, and she died right before she entered the camp to save one of my friends and my enemy, but we didn’t know that he’d betray us all at the time.”

“So then by default, you were tasked with the prophecy?” Percy nodded.

“There are two other children of the big three,” He said. “Both children of Hades, but the older of the two died on a quest last Christmas and the other is barely eleven. I don’t want this to fall on him, he’s too little and he’s already been through so much.”

“I can’t lose you, son” Bruce stood and pulled Percy up to stand before him. “I’ve already lost your brother and I am grateful he was able to make it back home, despite all the hiccups that happened to get him here.”

He hadn’t noticed how tall he was in comparison to Bruce now, his dad always seemed to tower over him like used to when he was a kid, but there wasn’t much of a difference between them. A few inches separated them from seeing eye to eye and Percy didn’t want the day to come where they were the same height to come. He still wanted to be able to bury his face into his dad’s chest when he hugged him, he be able to be picked up and carried like a child, to be told that everything was going to be okay.

And while now, Percy could rest his chin on Bruce’s shoulders when they hugged, the arms around him were still warm and strong like they always had been. “Just…be careful,” Bruce held him tight.

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise that.”

“I know,” he said, brushing down the hairs at the back of his head. “Of all people, I know.”

*********************************************

I had to write this, like, twice because the first draft didn’t fit right in the flow of the story anymore.

The only qualm I have with this is Percy’s rant about his injuries, idk it both does and doesn’t feel like something he would do. Like he’d do it to prove that what he’s gone through exists but he hates talking about himself 🤷‍♀️

Hope you liked it!!!

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[luckyyyduckyyy]

Hehehe

MUAHAHAHAHA

SOMEONE'S GOING TRICK OR TREATING AROUND TUMBLR! STOP THEM!!!!!!!!!!

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚɞ "can you bring my girlfriend?" OP81

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⋮ angst, hurt/comfort, fluff. word count: 1,7k

✧₊⁺ oscar piastri x carina duquez (female!oc)

summary: when oscar feels too much, but he'll always have his girlfriend to share life.

warnings: autor with an addiction to angst writing, mentions of a panic/anxiety attack, soft!oscar for the win, lando norris as a special guest.

Oscar feels overwhelmed.

Bahrain gets the hottest track of the year, a hard race to say the least. It feels like there's too much going on, almost like the McLaren driver could sense his skin burning even out of the car.

He usually holds good control over himself; a very disciplined athlete, he heard every call on the radio and hydrated just as much as he could, but the fuzzy feeling won't leave him.

Seeing bright and blind sparks where his vision should be, an anxiety wave crashing in his chest as he stumbles inside the papaya box.

It's not just the heat, being so self-aware makes him sure of that. The medical team follows him inside, just a plain sight, there are people around, but everything seems just too far away. Soaked in sweat and cold water, his heart is beating too fast for him to think clearly.

He needs to get Carina.

Also known as his girlfriend, his baby, his physiologist. Like, legally. Like what she does for a living. Oscar can't be her patient as part of the conduct, but she often helps him out with that kind of stuff, like identifying whether it's physical pain or just anxiety.

"No, I'm okay. I'm okay," the pilot waves his hands as the doctors approach, really focused on keeping his breath regular. "Can you just get my girlfriend? She's somewhere in the VIP. I really need her right now."

"I know you might want some comfort right now, but I need to check you right away."

"You can! Just bring my girlfriend. Can you bring my girlfriend?" As soon as he understood that the man in front of him wasn't going to move, he asked someone in the back. "She'll be here in seconds. I'll let you touch me as soon as she says I'm okay."

Yeah, the doctor is right. Oscar just wants some comfort right now. Carina, besides being very good at what she does for a living, is also an incredibly amazing girlfriend. Her powers go beyond what she studied for.

And heaven seems to be on their side today. One of the guys on the medical team heads out of the room, and Oscar just tries to breathe slowly and deeply.

Carina is there, body almost hanging on the half-wall of the accommodation, trying to get any sign of what's going on inside the papaya garage. Usually, he would wave to her every time he left the car, and that didn't happen today. She felt a sharp pain in her chest, worrying if something had happened.

She's right, somehow. Somebody dressed in McLaren's staff uniform came for her with a pass for the boxes zone and a calming voice, telling her not to worry, that Oscar is okay and just requested her presence.

But, well... Carina knows the boyfriend she got herself. There are not many people who can get into his sensitive space, and if she's being called, there is something sensitive happening. The Aussie girl flew down the access stairs and followed the woman into the light-weighted door, a few seconds until she could see Oscar's red face resting up, the back of his head against the wall, and his body curled up together.

"Hey, Osc." She uses her softest tone, leaving her purse and phone on the closest surface as she approaches. "Pretty hot track, huh?"

Easy to guess. In the past few months, all this F1 pressure started kicking in, the perks of driving a rocketship with such ability, being this much of a promise brought some other stuff to the table.

"Yeah." He muttered, eyes closed, face red. "Am I fine? I can't really feel my face or my hands... Whatever. I can't feel much. Am I okay?"

It'd be funny in some other situation. Oscar does look like a serious guy, like someone too calm and put-together. He tries very hard to be. But sometimes, just like everyone else, he wants someone with answers.

Someone else to think for him, to figure out why everything feels so tangled up.

"Fine as always." Carina keeps her voice low, the good kind of lie. He just needed to feel like he's in control. "Your face is just bloody red, but you know I really find you the cutest when you're like this."

"Stop it." A shy little laugh leaves the Aussie's lips, really less worried as she zips his fireproof down and reaches the sides of his neck, rubbing her cold hands. "Hmm... That feels good."

"Yeah? You're just overheated, okay? Can the doctors check you out? We just need to make sure you're okay."

"Yeah- Yeah, of course. You'll stay here, right? Don't leave, please."

"I'll never leave you. Let's just get checked, and then you'll head home."

So Oscar finally feels comfortable enough to let the other people in the room touch him. Carina stays by his side, even talks to the doctors, and fixes his hair sometimes.

"Ice tub, shower, and then you can head home, Oscar. You were great today." The last person on the medical team finishes cleaning up, standing up before waving a last goodbye and leaving the room.

"Do you still need me here? I can wait for you outside." Carina says softly, tucking his overgrown hair behind his ears. "Take your shower, and I'll get the car, okay?"

"Of course not," he whispers. "can't you stay?"

That's what she does. They follow each other down the corridors in the McLaren facility to where the drivers actually go post-race. A tub of cold water awaits, and Oscar takes seconds before diving in, their last moments by themselves.

"C'mon, Osc! Can't believe the heat got the best of you!" Lando shows up from the front of the garage, towel around his neck as he tries to keep the humor up. "You're okay? Did you get checked?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got checked." He's still with his eyes closed, someone from the staff pouring one more ice bag into his tub. "It was a whole lot."

"It was, man. It is too hot around here, and the track is even worse. I thought the car was overheating!" Lando agrees. "And hey, Carina! The best medicine is love, huh? That's what they always say."

Oscar can't understand what is happening to him. He's a chill guy, always so calm and down to earth. How come the tug in his chest hits like a hammer sometimes?

It's hard to breathe, to think, and for the first time in forever... To be quiet. He tried hiding in the bathroom, tried showering. Nothing could put the feeling away, and he already felt like a burden. Carina shouldn't be fixing his mind every time something happens. His mind keeps telling him he's supposed to hold himself together.

But it's still too hard, too much.

She's sleeping. After they went back home and after everything cooled down, literally, she was still the one to order their dinner, set the bedroom, and check on him until he fell asleep on her chest. Now he is hiding in the bathroom, making sure she has time to rest.

"Baby? Are you alright? I miss you in bed; you left a while ago."

Damn, he could swear he was slick enough for her not to notice he left.

But she does, she always does. The details are some of her best qualities.

"Uh-hum. I'll be back." His hands shake, touching his own face and trying to dry the tears.

"It's cool, don't worry. Would you mind... opening the door for me? You're locked in."

Carina is good at this, she's a pro. Oscar knows she'll be the best psychologist once she finishes college just by the way she treats people around her, but mostly him.

She makes him feel comfortable before ever going to the point. He doesn't even notice she's doing it.

Still, he doesn't want to cry in front of her anymore, at least not today.

"Osc? Look, you don't need to talk or anything, I just don't want you to be alone. Because you're not."

He could swear that's procedure, although it isn't. She's just being his caring girlfriend, the one he's had ever since middle school.

"I know." The only two words he manages to say. "I'll be back, promise."

"Would you like... would you like me to be inside with you? Or would you rather spend a few more minutes alone? I can come back and check on you in ten minutes."

That could be funny. Carina sometimes uses this positive discipline thing to get in control, and being conditioned really puts Oscar's mind in place.

Her company could be good. He doesn't overthink when he's around her.

And ten minutes can feel like an eternity. So the door gets unlocked, and he steps back.

"Hey, baby..." That's when he melts completely, face hiding in the crook of Carina's neck, arms around her, and sobs a bit too loud.

She just wishes he was smaller so she could hold him fully.

"What the fuck is going on, Rina? I don't understand! Why am I like this? That's not me!" he cries. "Everything feels so different, and I just want this feeling to go away!"

"I know, baby. I know. Things are changing. You're onto big things, big results, consistency... And you're also a public figure. You're facing new things."

"And why can't I just be like Lando? Or Lewis? Or Charles? They make it all look so easy! I just... I just want to be like everyone else!"

"Oh, so you think your friends haven't felt that way? When they went through the same? I mean... Lewis is old enough to be your father so... It's been a long time." Yeah, the humor and the way she runs her fingers through his spine. It all makes the feeling sink down. "Ask Lando, or whoever. I'm sure they faced what you're facing right now. Last year you were a rookie and now you're winning races!"

Not another word in the conversation; only Oscar's body getting heavy and the sobs becoming softer and softer. Carina has no idea how much he has slept.

"You're amazing, Osc. We will get through this, okay?"

"I love you," he whispers. "So, so much... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You would surely get no sleep. Let's go to bed, wash your face, and go to bed." Her hands travel his back a little more. "I love you too, baby. So, so much."

[seeingivy]

the new romantics

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: la la la. good old usual clown angst show UNTIL it isn't.

an: happy thanksgiving! I recommend relishing on all the words in this one, this chapters a big one! <3

previous part linked here

--

Three days later, Levi walks into your room (Colt’s room) with a box tucked under his arm. You’re caught off guard by his presence, as he sits flat on the ground next to you. 

In the four days following your meltdown, you were lucky enough that the scenes they were filming had nothing to do with you. And that Colt and Porco - who might be your new favorite person - were more than willing to bring you food so you wouldn’t have to leave the safe confines of their room (that you were ambushing). 

“Hi kid.” 

“Hi Levi.” you respond, hiking your knees to your chest and crossing your ankles over each other. 

Levi’s quietly sitting at your side, and by the look on his face, you can tell that he’s simmering. There’s something on the tip of his tongue, that he won’t quite say. 

That was always the thing with Levi. While you were easily able to discern what he was feeling, a skill that took practice throughout years, you could never quite figure out why. Why he was sitting here in your room with you, why the two of you were arguing, why he’s got this dusty box placed in between you. 

You give him a strange look, before he opens up his little box. It’s filled with different cassettes, pictures, and letters - ones you had sent to Levi over the past few years. 

You swallow hard, leaning against the back of the bed, as you flip the little leaflet in your fingers.  Two little golden envelopes, with your name in big italic letters printed on it. 

Best Actress in a Leading Role 

Y/N L/N - Attack on Titan  

“Didn’t realize you kept this.” you murmur. 

“You were just so excited. All over the place that you forgot to take it. Figured you’d want it someday.” Levi murmurs. 

You flip the second one over, mouth dry when you read it. 

Triple Threat Commendation - Y/N L/N 

“Why are you giving this to me?” you ask. 

Levi looks over, steely gray eyes peering into yours. 

“I want you to think about why you’re here.” Levi states. 

You swallow hard, the tone in his voice biting. 

“You were here before, for this. And now I need you to sit there and think really hard about why you’re here right now.” 

You lean back, against the back of the bed, as you flip the little leaflet in your hand. And run your fingers over your italicized name, a sight that you had been waiting to see for years. Quite literally, the only thing you wanted. 

“I don’t know, Levi. I don’t know why I’m here.” you respond. 

It’s embarrassing. So embarrassing, that you’re crying straight onto the envelope, smudging the paper, as it courses through you. 

That you don’t know what you’re doing, that you hate it here, and that really everyone else must hate that you’re here too. 

“I’ll ask you again, Y/N. Really think about it.” Levi murmurs.. 

You look over at him, at his eyes fixed so neatly on the picture in his hands, one of the ones he plucked from the box. You scoot closer to him, only to catch that it’s a picture of him, Marco, and Eren, smiling right into the camera. 

“Levi-” you start. 

“I’m not trying to punish you. I just need you to think about it. It’ll make things easier for you too.” Levi states. 

“I know you’re not trying to punish me, Levi.” you murmur, embarrassed that you had even said that to him in the first place. 

Levi smiles, placing his hands over your closed ones and squeezing. 

“I know. You’ve just got a shitty attitude problem.” he states. 

“I get it from my dad.” you respond, nudging him in the shoulder and smiling. 

Levi stands up, leaving the box and its content on the floor next to you. He shoots you a smile, one that you relish in, as he reaches for the door. Except he stops halfway on his way out and murmurs something that ignites the warmth in your chest. 

“Y/N.” 

“Yes, Levi?” 

“I am not your father.” he responds, before shutting the door on his way out.

--

You’re staring at the door of the set, the tiny pebbles crunching under your shoes, as you nervously teeter on your heels. You can hear everyone in there, the cameras moving around in the air, Levi’s voice animated and louder than everyone else’s, and the pounding footsteps of the crew marching in unison. 

“You okay?” 

You turn your head over your shoulder to find Eren standing next to you, his script and notebook tucked under his arm. 

“Oh. Hi Eren. Yeah, I-I was just taking a second I guess.” you murmur. 

The thought of having a repeat of the other day, of being so overcome with that feeling that you could barely even function, scares you. And the possibility of it happening, it’s so probable that it makes your stomach hurt. 

And it pokes at those deep fears that you had. About coming back, about doing this again. Because you’re filming Sasha’s death scene and…and you need to give a performance. A real one. And if you can’t do this, if you aren’t up to the par of your standards, you’re just…

Setting yourself up for that criticism. The ones that echo in the farthest corners of your brain, whispering into your skin and making you doubt every little move you make. You’ll get a shitty review from The Elms, while everyone else gets glowing ones. You’ll be the lackluster lead while everyone shines, before everyone once and for all, forgets you. 

If they even remember who you are in the first place.

“We aren’t filming Sasha’s death scene today.” 

You turn your head, eyes wide at Eren, as you beckon for him to explain. Because you were sure, almost positive, that this was the day you were going to do this. And you spent all night, trying to visualize it, how it would feel to have her staring at you lifelessly, in efforts to make the scene more palatable, the entire thing easier. 

You barely lasted ten minutes before it all went crashing down. 

“I requested that Levi switch the schedule. I just don’t think we’re ready to film that scene yet.” 

The wave of relief takes over you in full flesh, that block of feeling in your throat suddenly clearing, as you take the deepest, crispest breath of fresh air in. And the new set of problems come rushing in. 

You’re an actress. You can face anything, and-and the fact that they had to change the entire filming schedule for you just proves it. That you’re unprofessional. That you aren’t meant to be here, that this isn’t a place that you should be when you’re all but a fraud next to everyone else. 

“I-I could have done the scene, Eren.” you murmur, not even giving yourself the full conviction to prove you believed what you were saying. 

Eren gives you a soft smile, before responding. 

“I’m sure you could have. You were always stronger than me in that sense. But, I-I really don’t think I could stomach it today. I’ve been anxious since we watched them.” 

You pale, the embarrassment coursing through you. At the fact that you let Eren comfort you yesterday, till you could at least stand on your feet, just for him to be suffering in his own silence. 

You reach for his elbow, squeezing hard on his skin. 

“Eren. You could have told me.” you murmur, burrowing your eyes into his green ones. 

“You shouldn’t worry about me, Y/N.” Eren states, making the motions for you to walk into the set. 

The two of you walk in tandem, your footsteps lining up with one another's, as you walk into the chaos of the set. You and Eren get a few hello’s, which you happily return before walking up to the board and taking note of the scene lined up. 

The table scene. 

At that point, you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist, as you look down to find Gabi looking up at you, with a bright smile on her face. You return it in full, resting your face against her cheek, as you smile. 

“Hi Gabs. How are you?” you ask. 

“I’m great! I love your new haircut.” she states. 

You absentmindedly reach up to tuck your hair behind your ears, a slight shade lighter and the smallest bit shorter. Levi was increasingly serious on the fact that you were all getting makeovers for the season and you were no exception to the rule. 

“Thank you, sweet girl.” you respond, pinching the skin on her cheek. 

“Hi Hobo. How are you?” Gabi asks, turning her head to Eren. 

Eren rolls his eyes, reaching forward to flick Gabi’s forehead, followed by her swatting him off in protest. Which is only followed by Eren making moves to tickle her and Gabi getting ready to attack him, as the two of them start laughing and moving around each other. The sentiment of it makes you smile, that Eren’s the same as he was before. 

Always popular with the kids. 

Hange walks up, slinging an arm around your shoulder, and squeezing as they call for Gabi and Eren to stop. 

“Hey. Are you two ready?” Hange asks. 

“Yeah. We’ll head over right now. Thanks Hange.” Eren states. 

You watch Hange link their arm in with Eren’s as the two of them walk straight onto the set and settle into the chair. And you can tell that Hange’s teasing Eren about something, because they’re both lightly shoving each other and smiling. 

You swallow hard, as you take your seat at the table across from Eren. He’s nervously shaking his leg, as he flips through his script and cracks all the knuckles on his fingers. It’s the first scene you’re filming after coming back, the anxiousness pooling in your stomach under the lights. 

“Eren?” 

“Hm?” 

“Do you still make notes in your script?” you ask. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you want to switch? Like we used to before?” 

Eren nods, sliding his set of pages over, as you hand him yours and start pacing through his notes. They’re largely incoherent, the meaning entirely lost to you, as Eren quickly realizes and looks over. 

“Sorry. They’re not scene specific, they’re kind of…mental reminders for me. I didn’t realize we were still going to do this, but I-I’ll make sure I have good notes for the rest of the scenes.” Eren says. 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to.” 

“No, no. It’s what makes us the best, right?” 

You give him a polite smile, as you read through Eren’s lines. They’re all highlighted in light green, with the tiniest bit of ramblings scribbled on the side. Silent reminders, he’s giving himself. 

To breathe. 

“Are you ready?” Levi asks, hands firm behind his back. 

“Yeah.” you and Eren respond. 

“Eren, go get Armin then.” 

Eren nods, standing up from his chair, leaving you and Levi under the bright lights. He pulls the empty chair, leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest as he glares at you. 

“Are you actually ready to film this scene?” Levi asks. 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” you ask. 

Levi rolls his eyes, leaning forward on his forearms, as he brings his face closer to yours and whispers. 

“There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re not ready for this yet. This isn’t a particularly easy scene to film, especially for you, and I don’t want-” 

“I’m fine, Levi.” you respond. 

You can tell from the look on Levi’s face that he doesn’t quite believe you, disapproving of your response, before he stalks off and starts setting the cameras into place. Armin and Eren walk up, followed by Gabi, as you each take your respective seats in the chairs. 

Levi’s still stuck adjusting the cameras and the lights, which leaves the four of you awkwardly simmering in your seats. You shoot Gabi a smile, which she returns, before you tuck Eren’s script under the table and Eren does the same with yours. 

“Eren.” Armin states. 

“Hm?” 

“I heard you’ve been writing some of the scenes with Levi and Hange now.” Armin states.

“Really? That’s so cool, Eren!” Gabi states, reaching forward to squeeze his tightly shut fists. 

“Yeah. Thanks Gabs.” Eren responds. 

“This one must have been real easy for you to write, huh?” Armin asks, all but glaring at him. 

Eren sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, as he swallows hard and shuts his eyes.

“Save it for the scene, Armin.” Eren murmurs, nervously cracking all of the fingers in his bones, as he nervously looks over his shoulder and waits for Levi to finish. 

It’s the smallest bit of solace you suppose. That you’re not the only sore thumb here. That Eren too has people who can’t stand to talk to him.

“Okay, Eren. On your count.” Levi states, giving the four of you a thumbs up. 

You all shift in your seats, adjusting your hands on the table, as Eren all gives you a meek nod before starting. 

“The things I do and choices I make are all decided by my own free will.” 

Eren’s dropped his voice an octave, the tone in his voice more gravelly and hoarse as he speaks. And it immediately reminds you of that shitty argument the two of you had in the moonlight outside of the house in Seattle. 

So that’s what Armin meant. 

You can immediately feel your throat drying, rough as sandpaper as you’re suddenly too aware of the lights shining onto your skin above. The warmth of them singeing the ends of your skin. 

“So your actions after meeting Yelena were all you?” Armin asks. 

“Yes.” Eren responds. 

“No. You’re being manipulated.” you respond. 

You look up to find Eren looking at you, the emotion in his eyes so devoid, so far away that it makes your skin sweat. That it makes you deeply uncomfortable, like you’re talking to a version of him that’s somewhere else entirely. 

“You-you wouldn’t get kids and innocents involved, even if they were enemies! Plus, I know you care about us more than anyone.” 

You swallow hard, the words burning on your tongue. 

“Don’t you? The reason you saved me in that cabin…the reason you gave me this scarf is because you’re kind, Eren.” 

“I said keep your hands on the table.” Eren states, his voice so unrelenting that it sends tears sprouting down your eyes. 

An entire five lines early. You fight down the urge to vomit, that disgusting acidic feeling accumulating in your mouth, as Eren continues, the gravel of his voice making the hair on your arms stand up. 

You ball up your fists, as you mutter out your lines - knowing damn well they weren’t loud enough or with half of the fevor Levi wanted - as you reach the part you were dreading the most. The mere anxiety of it, of Eren’s grating voice saying those words, has you breaking skin on your palms, as you look up at his green eyes. 

“Your family was made to forget who they are and live only to protect. In other words, slaves.”

“Enough, Eren!” Armin screams, slamming one of his fists on the table. 

“Do you know who I hate more than anyone? Those who aren’t free. Just like livestock.” Eren states, the tears warm and burning as they start flowing down your cheeks, with no means of stopping this time. 

“Eren!” Armin screams, again. 

“Just seeing you has pissed me off, and now I finally know why. I can’t stand the sight of a slave who obeys orders without a question.” 

You take a deep breath in, holding it in your chest. 

“Ever since I was little, I’ve hated you, Y/N.” Eren states, the tone in his voice definitive. 

Armin, right on cue, climbs on to the table and screams. 

“How could you say that to her, Eren?”

And you miss your cue, to get up and tackle Armin onto the table, because Eren’s suddenly crying, his hands balled into fists as he stands up. 

“I didn’t fucking mean it!” Eren screams. 

You look over at Gabi and then Armin, as Eren quickly realizes what he’s said. And then he all but storms out of the set, almost like he’s embarrassed, as Levi calls for a fifteen minute break and Hange rushes out after him. 

You and Armin share a weary look, as you help Armin off the table, and feel a tugging on your sleeve. You’re entirely thrown off by the outburst, his words hanging in your ears, as you readjust the table cloth on the table with shaky hands. 

“Is Eren okay?” Gabi asks, a fixed frown on her face. 

“He is. I’m going to go check on him, okay?” you state, giving her a pinch on the cheek before you stand up and make your way out to the set. 

The pebbles are crunching loudly under your feet, as you pace around and look for Eren and Hange. Only to find them slightly to the left, Eren hanging with his head in his knees as Hange rubs circles into his back. 

You swallow hard, before you walk up and clear your throat. Eren looks up, eyes teary and red, as he stares at you in disbelief. 

“Hange. Can I talk to Eren?” you murmur. 

Hange looks over at Eren, before giving you a smile and standing up. 

“He’s all yours. Shout for me if you need me, yeah?” 

You give Hange a nod and they lovingly ruffle Eren’s hair, before walking off. You take the seat next to him, sitting flat on your hands. He’s still crying, the tears falling straight into his hands as he hiccups. 

“Eren.” 

He clenches his eyes shut at the sound of your voice, almost like he’s wincing at your presence, as he starts shaking his head. 

“Go away,” he murmurs. 

You swallow hard, swallowing the nervousness in your throat. 

“No.” 

“What are you doing here? Like seriously, just-” 

“You would do it for me.” 

He looks up, his green eyes staring at yours in his confusion. His tears have momentarily stopped, the wetness spread all over his cheeks and his hands. 

“You would do it for me. You did it the other day and at the funeral and I just- I owe it to you. You’re there for me and…” 

“You think you owe me something? Do you even hear yourself?” Eren asks, tone biting. 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Of course he thinks it’s okay for him to comfort you, but not for you to comfort him. You wrack your brain, trying to think of the best way to word this - or the best way to get him to listen to you - when it hits you. 

You should take a page from his book. 

“You’re not you and I’m not me.” you state. 

“Huh?” 

“You’re Bruce and I’m Margaret. Now talk.” 

Eren scoffs, wiping the back of his hands on his cheeks, as he coughs. 

“Y/N. Don’t be stupid.” 

“Who?” 

Eren stares at you, green eyes peering into yours, as he sighs. 

“Are you going to let this go?” 

“No.” you respond. 

Eren sighs, leaning back on the heels of his hands as he looks up at the sky. 

“I just had a long day. And I don’t really like this scene.” he states, leaning back into the grass. 

You follow suit, the blades of grass tickling your skin, as you both look up at the cloudy sky. 

“Sometimes, I can tell that the anxiety is like…bubbling. It’s not enough to make me freak out, but enough for me to notice it’s there. Like I’m hypervigilant, just-just waiting for it to come out.” Eren states. 

You beckon for him to continue. 

“Like I wake up late. It throws off how I get ready for the day and then I’m at set. I say the wrong things to everyone, say something weird or awkward, and then when I’m filming I know I’m not doing it right. That it’s all wrong and I try to take breaths, try to fix it, but that deep seated wrongness just doesn’t go away.” he responds. 

“Does anything help?” you ask, looking over at him. 

“Connie. He’s always good about this kind of stuff. He-he knows the right thing to say. And Hange’s comforting to be around.” 

You wrap your hand around his wrist, sliding your hand down until your fingers are locked together. Your skin is burning from the touch, as you feel Eren’s hand tighten and his eyes shift over to you. 

“What are you doing?” he whispers. 

“I don’t know. It just felt right.” you whisper back. 

Eren’s fidgeting with your hands, before he’s cracking every last knuckle on your hand. A nervous tick he’s had since you two were younger. 

“Don’t crack the smaller ones.” 

“I remember. You don’t like how those feel.” he responds, voice soft. 

You hum in response as you absentmindedly give Eren your other hand, as he fidgets with every last knuckle of yours, waiting till he hears that satisfying pop before he stops. And then he’s holding both of your hands in his, his breaths calm and even, as he runs his hands over both of your knuckles. 

And you both stay there, you completely dry of any words that could help him and Eren - the look on his face blank as he stares up at the sky. Eren was always better at this type of stuff than you and that much is apparent still. 

“Thank you, Margaret.” 

“You’re welcome, Bruce.”

And when you and Eren stand up - him brushing the smallest blades of grass out of your hair and you wiping the last of the wetness off your cheek - you curse yourself. 

For falling back into it so easily with him. And for wanting to let yourself fall the entire way. 

You cry almost the entire night.

--

You tend to avoid them when they all congregate in big groups. You’re not sure what it is exactly - maybe the fact that you've been living like a hermit crab for a better part of the past few months - but whenever you find yourself with them, it’s too awkward for you to stomach. 

Except for a few situations, like this one, where you find that you have to be there. 

“Y/N! Come here!” Jean screams. 

You peek your head out of the little doorway, to find them all sitting around in a circle in the living room. There’s an obscene amount of flowers covering every square inch of the living room, a sweet smell in the air. 

“Hi Jean. I was just going to go to bed.” 

“And now you’re not!” Connie replies, giving you a smile which you can’t help but ignore. 

You frown, as you feel someone join you at your side. And you look to your left only to consequently back straight into the wall behind you and hit your head. 

“Jesus fuck, Eren. You scared the shit out of me.” you pant, rubbing the tiniest little spot on the back of your head. 

He reaches forward, hands secured around his head, as you look up at him. And swallow hard. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

“Oh my god, Eren. What’s on your face?” 

“Huh?” 

You reach forward, fingers on his chin as you move his face to the left and to the right. 

“Are you trying to grow a beard, Eren?” you state, disgusted. 

Eren rolls his eyes, before swatting your hand off, and settling in next to Connie. 

“I told you Y/N wouldn’t like Hobo Eren.” Gabi states. 

“Well, I could have told you that. Y/N’s never really been into facial hair.” Eren states. 

“You can barely even grow any, Eren.” you deadpan. 

“Who wouldn’t like Hobo Eren? Look at him! He’s just so dreamy.” Reiner states, shaking Eren’s entire frame in his hands as Eren smiles. 

“Yeah, he smells a little. But he’s got that….wet dog charm to him.” Connie states, smiling brightly. 

You snort, as you settle in between Porco and Colt, the two of them shooting you polite smiles. 

“I just got a bit…scared, that’s all.” you respond. 

“I think Jean has the best look.” Mikasa states, twisting one of the sets of bouquets in her fingers. 

“You’re like literally biased. He’s your fiance.” Porco states. 

“It’s very hard to pull off a mullet.” Mikasa states, glaring at him. 

“Who do you think has the best new look, Y/N?” Gabi asks, tugging on the ends of your ankles. She’s seated right by your feet, directly next to Falco, as they play a very tame game of cards. Falco has yet to acknowledge you, since the day you first got back, and you have yet to try either. 

“Probably, Reiner. I couldn’t even recognize him.” 

“Not seeing me for two years will do that to you.” Reiner states, earring a fit of laughter from the group.  

You smile, cheeks burning with embarrassment, as the rest of them laugh. They all move along, but you’re stuck on that, as Colt gives you a reassuring smile. But it does little to curb the tears that are collecting in your eyes, the unease that’s coursing through you. 

“That’s right! I was wondering what you were doing here.” 

You look up to find the girl, seated right by Mikasa, looking straight at you. 

“I swear every time I look up there’s like a new cast member I don’t know.” 

The group of them laugh, as you bite the soft tissue of your cheeks and look back at her. 

“This is Amy. She’s Mikasa’s cousin. She’s going to be the maid of honor at the wedding, which is why she’s here. With this god awful set of flowers.” Sasha states. 

“I didn’t realize you would all have such strong opinions about the flowers!” she states. 

You look around the sets at the table, with a new eye. And not that you’re biased (because you totally are), but the flowers really are…awful. A bit too gaudy, too artificial for people like Jean and Mikasa. You ease off of the couch, as you twist the vases in your hand. 

“Do you guys mind?” you ask, looking up at Jean and Mikasa. 

They both shake their heads, as you start sifting through each of the vases. You pick out the flowers that make the most sense to you, as Connie makes it a point to make fun of Porco’s British accent for the next twenty minutes. 

When you’re done - a mix of violets, daisies, and baby breath - you snag the ribbon off the little box they came in and tie it around the stems. And then hand it to Mikasa, who's running her fingers over the petals. 

“It’s daisies and violets. Those are both of your birth flowers and the baby’s breath just kind of brings it together. The ribbon should definitely be white instead of pink, because it seems too loud when you add a color like that in. And you can easily make boutonnieres out of violets for the groom's party and have the girls wear corsages with daisies on them.” you state. 

“I love that idea. Thank you, Y/N.” Mikasa states, handing the flowers to Jean as he twists them in his own fingers. He gives you a big smile, which is enough to curb that sense of unease in your skin. 

“That’s what your name is!” Amy states, smacking her hand against her forehead. 

And it’s back. 

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you.” you state. 

“Wait, didn’t you like…quit acting?” she asks. 

You swallow hard. 

“Yeah.” you state, laughing awkwardly. 

“Oh. So what are you doing here, then?” 

You absentmindedly look over at Eren, before pinching your lips together. 

“Just back for the final season.” you respond. 

“Oh. Was it like a PR type of thing? To build up hype around the show? You celebrities do things like that all the time, right?” she asks. 

You can feel the group of them looking at you, steely eyes staring into yours, as you set the last of the flowers down on the table. You knew that this would happen eventually, that you would get berated about what you did in your two years off. That some people wouldn’t understand it, that those whispering rumors of everything you do being fake would come back, but it was too early for this. The tears are warm and hot, the regret even hotter, as you stand up. 

“No. It wasn’t. But that’s besides the point. It was um, really nice to meet you and I hate to cut this short and all but I have to wake up early tomorrow, so…” 

“Right! I’ll see you at the wedding.” she states, extending her hand to yours as you begrudgingly shake. 

And shuffle straight into Colt’s room and cry straight onto his pillow. 

--

It gets easier to place yourself into the pacing on the set. Most of the scenes that Levi’s chosen to film are around Gabi, Falco, and Kaya, and it’s easier to be there and watch them than be in the house with everyone else. And it seems that’s someone’s always lingering around, an open ear to talk to. 

“Are you enjoying your time here?” you ask. 

“Yeah. It’s a nice environment to be in.” Niccolo responds, giving you a polite smile. 

The two of you are playing solitaire, an invitation that he extended to you after you were content scribbling through the ends of your script for Eren. 

“Levi and Hange always made it a point. To make it that way.” you murmur. 

“I can imagine. Especially for Hange, all the scrutiny that came their way back in the day, it’s…” Niccolo states. 

“The funniest part is I didn’t even know any of that had happened when I got here. Mikasa kind of had to tell me.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I-I looked up to Hange a lot. Idolized her even. And all I saw was someone who was so…true to themselves. They said whatever they wanted and they came out on top anyways. Turns out, they were suffering almost the entire time. And they wouldn’t have even made it out if it weren’t for Levi.” 

“Same could be said for you, no?” 

You look up at him, at his brown eyes wide and peering into yours. 

“Sasha talks.” 

“And what does she say?” 

“It doesn’t really mean much and I don’t want to rub salt in wounds or anything or-” 

“Being here is a big salt in the wound regardless.” you respond. 

Niccolo frowns, the look on his face fixed. 

“She said that in the earlier years, people gave you a horrible time. For reasons that were out of your control, like Hange. They hated them because they were queer? Because they supported things that were right but weren’t mainstream? And they hated you just because your family wasn’t famous. Because you were a successful, self-made woman. You didn’t have any of that industry etiquette, when things seemed wrong to you, rightfully so, you called shit on it.” 

You roll over the thought in your head. 

“What?” Niccolo asks. 

“I never really saw it that way.” 

“But it’s true isn’t it? Historia all but got groomed by a guy, you didn’t let him get away with it. You had no ins with the industry, but still made it out on top like you did. The Lucky One basically immortalized you as a pop star forever.” Niccolo responds, setting his cards down flat on the floor. 

“I guess. It just seems like at the end of the day, it wasn’t even worth it.” you respond. 

“Well, you’re talking about it like it’s all over.” 

“Huh?” 

“Things are far from finished. For you, especially. I have a feeling you’re just getting started.” Niccolo responds. 

You and Niccolo look up, to find Gabi and Falco at your sides, fresh off of the set. They’re both crossing their legs and taking their seats next to you as Eren walks up and joins you. He always seems to be here, since he is writing this all with Hange and Eren now, always giving the two of them pointers and leading them the right way. 

“Hi guys.” Gabi says. 

“Hi Gabs. You did great. You too, Falco.” you respond, reaching forward to ruffle her hair. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” Falco responds, giving you a halfhearted smile. 

“What are we talking about?” Eren asks. 

“Sasha. And how much Niccolo loves her.” you respond, giving him a smug grin. 

“Our favorite topic of conversation.” Eren responds, nudging Niccolo in the side, as a pink flush crawls up his neck. 

You deal a set of cards to everyone, ignoring your awkwardly shaky hands when you hand Eren his and zone out through the rest of this conversation. Because all you can hear in your head is Niccolo, and Levi asking you what you’re doing here, and every tiny fractal of a memory playing in your head. 

And really, it’s almost jarring how different everything is because you can barely bring yourself to get out of your head about everything. Because that god awful, damper of your thoughts brings ruin to everything. You thought you’d have Mikasa and Levi when you’d get here, that they’d walk you through this, only for them to be miles away from you. 

You figure you’d fight the urge to throttle Eren every time he looked at you, but his presence seems to be one of the only things that puts you at ease. That he’s quiet, that you’re both not you and that it’s easier that way, that nothing happened. 

That eventually, things would work themselves out. You’d all come back here and things would fall back into place again. That Connie would make a joke and you’d all laugh, that Armin would take a few pictures, that you and Eren would just be something again, no matter what it was. 

But you sit here, stuck in how none of that is true. That you’re at the end of a bottomless pit. That things are going to stay this way, that this is how they are, that this is what happens when you make the wrong choice. 

“Well, the convenience store is closing on Friday, so you better get a move on if you want something, Falco.” Niccolo states, setting his cards down. 

“What?” you ask. 

“Huh?” Niccolo repeats, looking up at you. 

“The convenience store is closing? The one on Scott Street? With….with the slushie machine?” you ask, eyes wide. 

“Yeah. The one run by that really old guy, with curly hair.” 

You set your cards down, irritation flaming, as you turn to Eren. 

“Did you know?” you ask. 

“Yeah.” Eren responds, twisting his cards in his fingers. 

“And you weren’t going to tell me? Or do anything about it?” 

“What could we do about it?” Eren asks. 

You roll your eyes, bending the cards as you set them down and storm out of the set. And look for that god awful bike, because god forbid that this is one of the things that changes too. That really everything else can change - that you’re going to hate each other, that the one place you love is going to be different - but god, if you can throw any money at someone to keep that place open, then so be it. 

You find the bike in the shed, wheeling it out towards the front door when Eren runs in front of you, grabbing the handles and stopping you in your tracks. 

“What are you doing, Y/N? You can’t ride this thing by yourself.” 

“Well, watch me.” you respond, trying to wrestle it out of his grasp. 

“It’s a tandem bike. You need someone to push the back. And you’ve always been shit at steering.” he responds. 

“And you have a shitty personality, Eren. I guess there’s some things we just can’t really control, can we?” you spit, finally wrestling out of his grasp and moving past him. 

Eren jogs up to your side, trying to stop you in your tracks again.

“Quit trying to stop me, Eren.” 

“I-I’ll come with. Steer for you.” he states, reaching for the handles. 

“No. I want to do this on my own.” you respond. 

“Well, some things you just can’t.” Eren responds. 

“I’m going to the convenience store.” you respond. 

“To what? Stop it from closing?” 

“Yes. I have money. I’m going to use it. It’s like an investment, basically.” 

Eren frowns, stopping at your side again. 

“Y/N. Maybe we shouldn’t go.” 

And the irritation bubbles right to your head and you’re screaming at him in the middle of the pavement. 

“I want to go! I want to make sure this thing stays here, that people get to enjoy it because it’s the only thing I can keep. I can’t get my brother to stop being mad at me, my best friend moved on and picked a new maid of honor, Levi’s ten different levels of disappointment in me, and you…you left me! I know you don’t give a crap about this place, I just want this place that made me happy to stay there.” you shout. 

Eren swallows, before climbing onto the head of the bike and bracing his legs against the pedals. You oblige, climbing on and wrapping your arms around his torso as he starts pedaling. And when you reach there, he’s holding his hand out and helping you off, as you walk into the store. 

The smell is still entirely the same, but the store is heavily hollowed out. Almost all the shelves are empty, the buzzing of the refrigeration turns off and you turn to find your culprit. The owner of the store, that’s been giving you and Eren free slushies since you were fifteen. 

Michael. 

“Y/N! Eren! My little movie stars.” he states, opening his arms wide and enveloping you two in his embrace. 

You sink into the smell, the soft cherry wafting off of him, as he gives you a bright smile. His hair is significantly longer than when you saw him last, the years he’s lived hanging off of his skin. In wrinkles, in the permanent smile lines by his eyes, and his dimples - large and indented into his skin, as opposed to Eren’s. That really only come out on occasion. 

“We’re in a TV show, Michael.” you deadpan. 

“Same thing.” he responds, giving you a bright smile. 

“Are you really closing your store?” you ask. 

He sighs, giving you a smile. 

“Yes. I’m sure that much is obvious.” he responds, placing more items into the box. 

“Are you bankrupt? You should really stop giving free stuff to every kid who walks in here.” you murmur. 

“I’m not bankrupt. It’s just time.” he responds. 

You push yourself up on the counter, dangling your feet off the end as you turn to him. You’re toying with the ends of the tape on the counter, peeling it off as you rack your mind on the right thing to stay. To get him to stay here. And that insurmountable loss - that follows you everywhere - reaches this place too and you can’t handle it. 

“Do you need money to keep it going? We can hire and staff and-” 

“Y/N.” Michael states. 

“We’ll invest. Me and Eren, we-we’ll keep it going. Make sure it’s in good hands. It should-” you mumble. 

Michael sighs, setting the box down, as he glances over at Eren. 

“Always the same, you two.” he states, before walking out of the store. 

You give Eren a weary look, as you pad out of the store, to find Michael opening up the door of his car. You run up to his side, fists curled together. 

“Where are you going?” 

“We are going to the lake. I have something to show you.” he responds. 

You angrily march over to the passenger seat and buckle your seatbelt on, only to find Eren standing at your side of the door. 

“Well, get in.” 

“I’ll stay. Fix up the store for you, yeah?” Eren says. 

“Thank goodness. You god awful children know how to waste my time. And my money.” he responds, giving Eren a smile as he pulls out of the parking lot. 

You glare at Eren as the two of you drive off, the ride not even a full ten minutes, before he pulls into the little meadow. There’s a tiny little lake at the center, expansive enough that you can’t see the end and green grass surrounding the edges. There’s large willow trees, basking the entire place in a shade, as the two of you walk out to a bench and sit on it together. 

“You like the store, Y/N?” he asks. 

“I love the store. It’s-it’s why you can’t close it.” you respond, crossing your legs onto the bench and fidgeting with your hands in the space in between. 

Michael takes a deep breath, before smiling to himself and looking out at the water. 

“I spent my entire life in that store.”

You look out at the lake, at the little ripples keeling through the water as the tiniest wave hits the shore. 

“My mother passed away when I was very young. I don’t remember much, but…she was very fond of nature. Flowers, greenery, lakes.” 

You smile. 

“But my father. He….he spent his entire life in that store with me. And…he was an unrelenting man. Disciplined, principled, habitual. I didn’t know much about him, besides his name. That he worked at the store, that keeping it running was important. That he didn’t say quite much, that sometimes he would when he was angry.” he states. 

You swallow hard, immediately thinking of Eren and Zeke. 

“I moved away, the second I could. I turned eighteen and I-I went running for the hills.” 

“To?” 

“College.” 

“That’s nice. Surely something entirely different, after all that.” you softly add. 

“I was curious. So curious that I wanted to know everything. Every major was one I wanted to do, every class left me with a thousand questions instead of answering them, every person I met was a person I wanted to unravel, to know, deep in their bones.” 

“And did you? Meet someone like that?” you ask. 

Michael turns to you and smiles. 

“Always the romantic, weren’t you?” 

“Who said anything about being a romantic?” 

“Picking up bottles on New Year’s Day is quite a romantic sentiment to me.” he responds. 

You roll your eyes and he laughs, as you beckon for him to continue. 

“Her name was Evangeline. She had ivory hair, long eyelashes, and the tiniest bit of freckles on her skin. Two dimples, one on each side, that were hard not to notice whenever she smiled at me. Smelled like strawberries, never walked on the cracks in the sidewalk, dreaded getting gas to the point that her car would stall and run out.” 

“Quite the lady.” 

Michael smiles. 

“The first love. Always comes with impossible odds. There’s a sweetness, almost a purity to it. That feeling that there is no one else in the universe like this. There’s fumbling, there’s pining, there’s awkward and ugly mistakes.” 

“But you think it’s going to work. You want your love to be real.” you add. 

“Precisely. There’s always a first time for everything, right?” he adds. 

And from that somber tone in his voice, grating in his chest, you feel the tears spill down your eyes. Because you know what happens next. 

“How?” you ask. 

How did she leave him. 

“Accidental drowning. It seems she….she tripped over the ledge on a boat. Must have hit her head or something because when we got her out, she was…was already long gone. Didn’t fight her way back up, just…sank down.” 

You feel a hiccup escape your chest, the feeling so disgusting. That this shitty loss, that it permeates everywhere. That everyone feels it. That no one is safe from it and that truly, nothing stays. 

“I returned to the store. Worked with my dad for some time. It was nice to see the monotony of those types of things. Ring up the items, place them in a bag. Give two unrelenting kids a free drink here and there. Close the shop up until the next day.” 

You frown, your eyes burning, as he smiles at you. He taps on your forehead, on the wrinkles from your frown. 

“I was so deep in it. That feeling. I dug myself into that hole. And I stayed there. That I had experienced everything that I had needed to in life, that things were perfect that way and that nothing else was going to compare.” 

He takes a beat. 

“I was holding onto the memories. And they were holding on to me.”

“But-” 

“Holding onto memories is a good thing. But not when they drag you into the abyss. And that’s where I was - in that store, doing the same thing everyday. Ringing up the items, placing them in boxes and closing up for the night.” he responds. 

You swallow hard. 

“My father talked to me one day,” he states. 

“He was still there?” you ask. 

“He met my mother in that store. That she was reaching for the gum at the same time as him. That their fingers brushed across one anothers, that they split the pack of gum because there was only one left.” 

“And?”

“That he spent his entire life in that store, because she thought she would come back.” 

You wipe your snot on the back of your hand, looking up at him. And at the fact that he’s still smiling. 

“It made sense then. Why he was so untouchable” 

“Because he was waiting for something that wouldn’t ever come back?” 

“Because he was stuck in that store. Sitting in his little corner that he haunts.” 

You swallow hard. 

“When you sit inside, you seem to forget that the sun does rise again. That it falls behind the skyline, but it comes back. The moon follows the same - disappearing and reappearing to be a light in the night. The ocean pulls away from you just to come crashing right back.”  he states. 

“But-” 

“I don’t want to live in the hole anymore. I don’t want to haunt that corner, I don’t want to shy away from the water just because it is deep. It’s cold, it bites your skin, but you feel free in the water. The possibility is there, to let your self fallin the abyss, but you can also choose not to.” 

You can feel the tears falling in full flesh, the pain so palpable when you understand. 

The convenience store is the stagnant spot. And he has every intent to destroy it. 

“You cannot live life when you are so untouchable, Y/N. Living your life requires you to be vulnerable,” he states. 

You feel a hand on your shoulder and look up to find Eren standing at your side, the bike laying in the grass next to you. You scoot over on the bench, as the tears fall out even harder, the pain of it all so aching. 

At Eren. Holding a slushie, with two straws in the hole. Sitting right at your side. 

You take it in your hands, securing both of your hands around the cup, as you sip the drink. And that familiar mix - of the soda and the cherry covers your tastebuds - sending a chill down your spine. 

Michael sighs, smacking against the skin of his thighs before he stands up. He turns to give the two of you a smile, a hand on both of your heads. 

“You’re just going to leave?” 

“I’ll let Eren tell you the rest. I’ve got a wife waiting for me at home.” he states, walking off with a content smile on his face. 

You almost drop the entire drink over your legs, as you watch him walk off and turn to Eren. He’s got a soft smile on his face too, his head angled up as he watches the clouds move across the sky. 

“He has a wife?” you ask. 

Eren slides the smallest bit away from you and taps on the inscription on the bench. 

For Zola. You let the light in. 

You look up at him, confused. 

“Living your life requires you to be vulnerable. What’s more vulnerable for him than loving again?” Eren responds. 

You nod, turning your head back to the lake. To the waves, pulling away just to come crashing right back. 

“I do care about the convenience store.” Eren states. 

“Hm?” 

“Earlier. You said you thought I didn’t care about it….I basically did the same thing you just did now a few weeks ago when I got back and found out.” Eren responds. 

“Oh.” 

Eren looks over at you. 

“This was one of the hardest things I had to learn when I went to therapy, Y/N.” 

“What?” 

“That you have to hold space for your hurt, to let yourself feel it, but not let it bog you down either.” Eren responds. 

You swallow hard, looking down at the slushie - the colors mixing together into one. 

“The wound is the place where the light enters.” Eren states. 

You swallow hard. 

“Marco gave me a poetry book. And months after he died, I stumbled across it. And it was open right on that page.” 

“He did love his poetry books, didn’t he?” 

“Turns out Michael loves them too. He seems like a Marco type.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” you respond. 

Eren stands up, brushing off his palms on his shirt, before he turns and extends his hand to you. You place your hand in his, warm and soft, before you hold it in the air. He makes a move to let go, but you clench harder. 

“Eren.” 

“Yes?” 

Your mind is blank. You can’t think of what to say. Or more appropriately, what to say first. Because he sends your mind into a spiral, that he overwhelms any normal sense, any rationale. 

Because you loved him. And he looks like the person you loved. Feels like him too. 

It’s why you can’t shout at him. Why every rational thought goes out the door, why that unyielding feeling that he’s still the person you knew is there. 

“I know, Y/N. It confuses me too. We'll figure it out." Eren states. 

You and Eren pick the bike up and make your way back in silence. But the air is somewhat lighter. 

--

When you walk into the townhouse, you make it your first point to find Levi. To the point where you march up to his room and pound hard on the door until he answers. All disheveled and the slightest bit of annoyance in his face. 

“Yes, Y/N?” 

“I’m here for the right reasons, Levi.” you state. 

Levi’s eyes go wide, almost in curiosity, as he looks up at you and leans against the door. Gesturing for you to continue. You sigh, before reaching forward and wrapping your arms around him. 

For trying to push you to this spot, days earlier. By asking you the question. 

“I’m here to make amends. To move forward.” you state. 

“And?” 

“And that….that requires work on my part. With you and Mikasa. Falco and Eren and-” 

“Eren?” Levi asks, raising his eyebrows. 

You smile. 

“Always his biggest hater, weren’t you?” 

“Naturally.” Levi responds, closing the door behind him before linking your arms and walking down towards the kitchen. 

"Yes, even Eren. I-"

You take a deep breath in.

"I'm done feeling sorry for myself. And I'm done being so...so far away. This is where I'm meant to be. And it's where I'll stay until we're done." you respond.

Levi smiles at you for the first time since you've returned. And you know you'll win him over.

When you walk down, you and Levi move around each other in silence. He’s fixing the food while you drag out the plates, until the music starts blaring. Splitting both of your eardrums. 

You give Levi a motion to wait, as you pad into the living room to catch the sight responsible for the sound. Only to find your heart swelling, burning at it. 

They’re all dancing. Almost every single one of them, standing on their feet, hands pressed together, and screaming. 

The lyrics to your song. 

Baby, we're the new romantics Come on, come along with me Heartbreak is the national anthem We sing it proudly We are too busy dancing To get knocked off our feet Baby, we're the new romantics The best people in life are free

And maybe, just possibly, it draws something in you. That you wrote this song, years prior, to sick it to them. Because you were going to prove everyone, who had doubted you, that you were above them.

That you'll always rise above.

Falco and Gabi have their arms linked together and are swinging in a circle, while Connie tries to horribly swing dance with Armin. Niccolo’s spinning Sasha in circles, holding her flesh against his chest, while Mikasa and Jean - who are most certainly drunk - are excitedly screaming the lyrics in each other’s faces. Pieck and Porco are doing a very weird rendition of the original dance from the music video, while Colt tries desperately to teach them how to do it the right way. 

Your presence silences them all entirely, each of them stopping from their dancing to look up at you wide eyed. But you clear your throat and sing the lyrics of your song - for the first time in years. 

Please take my hand and Please take me dancing, and Please leave me stranded It's so romantic (it's so romantic) (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

You hold your hand out to Mikasa and Falco, who are all too happy to oblige. And scream the lyrics into each other's faces and dance on your feet until your soles hurt. You let Jean spin you and Mikasa in one arm, Connie’s screaming she’s back for a good five minutes, and you’re trying to let it happen. 

To let the light enter the wound. To keep moving forward. 

Eren and Levi pad into the room forty five minutes later, to find you all nestled on the floor, a tangle of limbs, and fast asleep. 

“Levi.” 

“Yes, Eren?” 

“I finally figured it out. The scene we’re missing.” he states. 

--

When you come to, you make it a point to destroy your convenience store. 

You take the lighter and burn that golden piece of paper. And it’s a sweet satisfaction, to see the letters go up in flames. 

Y/N L/N - Triple Threat Commendation. 

Reduced to ashes.

--

next part linked here

an: the emo y/n cannot come to the phone rn!!! she is letting the light in!!! she is about to build a castle out of all of the bricks that were thrown at her!!

(and for those of you worried that y/n has not rocked eren's shit yet, trust. trust. this poor guy getting the scolding of his life but all in good time)

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygff @cocomellxn @princess-ackermann @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

[ozzgin]

Today, something wild and unexpected unfolded, and I can't help but share it! Growing up, I have been inundated with words that cut deep: "You look unpleasant to be around." "You seem super scary; if I didn’t know you from school, I would never approach you." “You have a lovely personality, but when you walk by, you look like you’re ready to attack—could you smile?” It’s as if the world has constantly painted me with the brush of an intimidating image, completely at odds with who I truly am.

I recognize that my appearance might give off a certain vibe, yet it baffles me! When I see someone who might seem unapproachable, I often think it’s simply a choice of aesthetic—like goths, rockers, or punks who wear their fierceness proudly. But me? I’m just a girl in the simplest of outfits: a plain T-shirt and jeans. I don't believe I have a frightening visage; in fact, I perceive my face as quite pleasant. Yet, I’ve been labeled with the dreaded "resting bitch face." This misunderstanding makes forging friendships a steep uphill battle.

So here I was, just trying to navigate the mundane task of grocery shopping, but fate had other plans. For nearly an hour, I felt the unsettling presence of some random guy following me, and it was so perplexing! I sensed that he was going to linger since, honestly, I take my sweet time shopping.

As time dragged on, a thought crossed my mind—maybe he just has a preference for big girls, considering their rarity in my small town. But every time I mustered the courage to approach him, he would abruptly retreat. Frustration bubbled inside me until I exploded, shouting at the top of my lungs, “Are you a chubby chaser, bitch boy?” My words echoed through the aisles, drawing the startled gazes of everyone at the checkouts.

To my astonishment, he bolted from the store like he’d seen a ghost. Maybe that moment encapsulates why my circle remains so small—why relationships seem just out of reach. I just wanted to share this wild experience from my day with you, Ozz!

Hah, I have a feeling we would’ve gotten along really well in real life!

In my second year of high school, I ended up sitting next to a transfer student out of sheer coincidence. She was a bigger girl, knew how to box, smoked like a chimney and had a terrible temper; most of my classmates were afraid to approach her. I was the shy, studious class president.

One day - she later told me the silence had become unbearably awkward - she asked me if I liked Naruto. That was it. From that moment we’ve been best friends. Went on multiple trips together, hung out every weekend, moved in together for the first year of college. We went our separate ways since, but every time we meet it’s like we just left off the day before.

I'm sure one day that special someone (whether romantic or platonic) will just show up out of nowhere, under the most ridiculous, coincidental circumstances. Think of yourself as a mysterious, difficult to unlock game character. Is it because you're unpleasant? Nah, it just means that only the special few can achieve that kind of prize. 😎

[falafel14]

Jack Wolfe as Gabe Goodman

So I've had a few "Tell me everything!" responses to my recent post about the Donmar Warehouse's stunning new production of Next to Normal. Knowing the audience here, I'll narrow my focus to writing about what I know my fellow 'Six of Crows' fans will most want to hear - Jack's role as Gabe. I won't be recapping the show itself, as I assume most folks reading this will have listened to the soundtrack, read the script, or watched a Broadway bootleg. Or at least I hope so, because below you will find MAJOR SPOILERS for Next to Normal and specifically the Donmar's staging of it.

Gabe is introduced to us as the Goodman's teenage son, who seemingly has a close affectionate relationship with his mother, Diana, but frosty relationships with his father Dan and sister Natalie, neither of whom acknowledge his presence. About thirty minutes in we are shown exactly why. Diana brings out an 18th birthday cake when the family have Nat's boyfriend Henry over for dinner and it is revealed that today would have been Gabe's birthday...if he'd been alive. But Gabe died when he was a baby and Diana has only been imagining him growing up all these years.

Up until this point, Jack has been playing Gabe as a cheeky rebellious teenager, but when he slinks back on stage to blow out the candles on his cake, he becomes a much more ethereal and impish presence. In I Am The One, his expression transforms from sweet and devoted when singing to his mom, to menacing and malevolent when singing to his dad. Gabe manifests as different personas for each member of his family and it's thrilling to watch as Jack shifts between them all. When Natalie comes downstairs to sing Superboy and the Invisible Girl we see Gabe as the cocky conceited older sibling, who seems to revel in being their mother's favorite.

In her next therapy session, Diana is asked to speak about her son and this is when we get Gabe's showstopping I'm Alive solo. This number really did raise the roof. I'll admit when I saw videos of Jack singing it at Tom Kitt's concert, I was worried he wasn't giving the song the necessary attack. But on stage he goes absolutely full-throttle with it. He starts at the top of the stairs with a mic stand, looking like the frontman of a rock band, then he brings the mic down, roaming all over the floor. At one point in the song, Natalie and Dan have an argument and Gabe comes to stand between them, looking amused as he passes the mic between them. However Gabe starts to lose some of his swagger as Diana's doctor suggests that - as 18 is the age that children typically leave home - maybe Diana should think about her son this way and finally let him go.

In the next scene, Diana is in the kitchen, clearing out Gabe's things. She holds up a baby-grow and then starts playing a music box she used to use to help Gabe to sleep. Gabe comes down the stairs with a rucksack and duffle bag, like he's a kid being kicked out of the house by his parents. Diana can't seem to go through with it as she pulls him into a dance and they end up hugging with Gabe's head tucked under his mother's chin, like a needy child. This leads into There's a World, a hauntingly beautiful song with a very sinister undertone as we learn this is Gabe leading Diana towards a suicide attempt. This song and Catch Me I'm Falling are an excellent display of Jack's high range (he'd make a wonderful Orpheus in Hadestown - the UK production is coming next year, so...please??)

Following the suicide attempt, Diana is given shock therapy and consequently loses her memories of the last eighteen years. In the early part of Act 2 and for the song Aftershocks, Gabe is up in one of the upstairs rooms, like he's been locked in a cell - not gone, but no longer able to get to Diana. When Diana finds and plays Gabe's music box, there's this very chilling sight of Gabe's silhouette, his hands pressing to the screen, as he sings along to the melody. The lighting here is eerily reminiscent of a sonogram. When Diana regains her memory of her lost son, Gabe breaks free of the room, comes down the stairs to sing his I'm Alive (Reprise) from on top of the kitchen counter. After his wife's relapse, Dan crumbles to the floor, his back pressed to the kitchen counter. Gabe disappears behind the other side of the counter, and (I'm told, I couldn't see from my angle) he sits in the same position as Dan. They both stay like this for about 15mins while scenes with Diana, Nat and Henry take place.

As Diana leaves, Dan finally rises from the floor and begins singing his I am the One (Reprise). In other videos of this song that I have seen, Gabe is played quite aggressively, stalking around Dan, goading his father into acknowledging him. Jack does this scene very differently and effectively. He stays behind the counter, his eyes downcast, his manner meek as if quietly pleading for his father's attention. When Dan yells out "Why didn't you go with her?!" Gabe leaps up onto the counter and throws his arms around Dan, desperately clinging to him. When they get to the chorus, Dan turns round to face Gabe, gripping his arms. Then at the end, Dan staggers back and tearfully says his son's name for the first time. When Gabe responds with his "Hi Dad", Jack's face his full of shocked awe. He plays it like a child realizing the father he thought hated him, loved him all along. It's a devastating moment that had everyone in tears.

After the song, Dan reaches out a hand towards Gabe, but he stops as Natalie comes downstairs. Dan tells Nat her mother has left and Nat asks him - "So it's just me and you for now?" and there's a hesitation where Dan glances at Gabe, who is still sitting on the counter. When Dan finally answers yes, it's just the two of them, Gabe's expression is accepting, not resentful like earlier in the show. As he leaves to go upstairs, Gabe gently touches Nat's hand, almost like an apology. Natalie gives the slightest reaction, as if she is sensing something. It's a beautiful resolve to Gabe's role, and when he appears for the last time for his verse in Light, he no longer feels like a malevolent spirit, but more like this serene angel watching over his family as they all try to heal and go on with lives.

This is honestly a star-making performance from Jack as a young musical theatre actor. And as much as I want Jack and the other Crows actors to be off filming their spinoff show once the strikes are resolved, I also feel strongly that Jack belongs on the stage. Between his acting, his presence and his vocals, he's sure to be a performer in demand in the West End. Here's hoping there's award nominations to come. He's deserving of them.

[strwbnnie]

i am so upset. we’ve been moots for like a month now and i haven’t come to throw some filth in your ask box yet 😩 buT it’s not too late!

alsO hI miya it’s nice to officially greet you 👉🏾👈🏾 i’m glad you enjoyed reading warm bodies! how are ya?

clears throat this is so long and i’m sorry but i like to ramble when i have ideas

So, I was lowkey just scrolling through your blog (i need to read more of your tasty ass work fr fr) and I noticed you reblogged a short fic about villian Kiribaku… A concept that has been untouched by my brain and was probably for good reason because now all I can think about is Red Riot the hardening villain who uses unbreakable to strike fear into civilians, heroes, and villains who dare to threaten his authority. Red Riot the villain is fucking huge and bulky and still has a smile of sunshine but a heart darkened by a selfish society. He honestly gives me Pain vibes, and idk if you’ve ever watched The Boys but I think he’d fit in perfectly with them, he definitely wants to kill heroes who don’t deserve to be called heroes.

Red Riot is very meticulous about the crimes he commits but there is one thing for sure— he loves a good fight. Doesn’t matter where the fight is or when it is, if there’s a fight brewin’ he’ll be there to find it. Also, random fact, he likes rocks soooo… he robs a lot of jewelry stores when he wants to add to his collection or he goes “shopping” at museums.

For example, big boy Riot has left the headquarters in search of a way to get his knuckles bloody, cruising around, looking for a hero to pick a fight with. Listen, even he’s got standards. He’s murdered a couple of people but never innocent ones, only heroes that don’t deserve their titles. And for that, he’s wanted by the Japanese government… Why’s he still walkin’ around like he’s some regular civilian though? I don’t even know. But… oh! Look at that, a hero.

The name of this hero doesn’t matter, he’ll scrapbook it later. A grin spreads across the villains face, a set of razor sharp teeth reveal themselves as he begins to approach the unsuspecting hero, following them to a more secluded part of the city to minimize witnesses as well as collateral damage.

This particular hero has quite a destructive quirk, so it’s truly no surprise that as soon as Red Riot attacks him, the hero begins to lay in blows that aren’t held back in the least. Indiscriminate waves of the disastrous quirk, that Red Riot easily dodges or blocks, cause nearly irreversible damage to nearby buildings, which no-doubt is putting civilians in even more danger than Red Riot’s presence alone. This is exactly /why/ he does the things that he does. With just one stupid fucking test, anyone could become a hero, even psychopaths like this.

As the hero is attempting to knock Red Riot down, the redhead villian doesn’t halter in anyway, getting closer and closer to the hero that looks like their about to shit their pants right in the alley. He’s nearly a foot away from the hero when he hears a blood-curdling scream that appears to be coming from above. He takes a moment to glance up and sees a woman plummeting to her death from the destroyed building that was just beside the alley. Then he looked back at the hero to see if he would do anything.

No. He was far too busy trying to keep his own ass safe. And for some reason, that pissed him off beyond comparison. He’d been holding back since the fight began, giving the hero a chance to defend himself, but it appeared time was running out. Hardening his fist, he aimed a blow directly to the hero’s face, satisfied with the sickening sound of flesh and bone breaking from the heavy punch, and watched the hero fly back into a pile of garbage bags, deserved.

With the screaming come closer and closer to where he was, Red Riot used the debris of the crumbling building to propel himself upwards and easily captured the woman who’d been falling, only then taking note of the bundle of life that she had protectively curled over. As they approached the ground, he hardened his legs and landed with ease, causing quite an indent in the earth.

While she’d been falling, hero eyes remained shut the entire time, but when she stopped falling, suddenly becoming hyper aware of her surroundings and the big strong arms that were wrapped around her rather protectively, she slowly opened one eye to take a peek at her savior.

In all his glory stood the infamous new Hero Killer, staring down at her with an arched brow on his handsome yet rugged face. The childhood scar on his eyelid had somewhat faded but fresh scars had been added to his face, a few nicks on his chin, cheek, and forehead, but they didn’t take away from his handsome appearance. He’d been wearing a red sleeveless hoodie, that showed off his muscular arms and a sleeve of ink that started from his right wrist, up the entirety of his arm, and disappeared under the hoodie no-doubt covering his right pec with a decorative tattoo, along with some plain black cargo shorts. His hair was spiked in the front and the rest flowed down his back in a mullet of sorts. She hadn’t realized she bad been silently staring at him in awe until he cleared his throat, asking if she was alright. Weirdly enough, she felt comfortable enough to answer him honestly, along with thanking him for saving her life. Unexpectedly, a cocky grin spread across his face and an idea came to mind.

“I’ve got other ways you can thank me, lil’ diamond.”

Next thing she knows, Red Riot aka Hero Killer 2.0 is mumbling some name that starts with a ‘K’ and a portal of purple smoke suddenly forms beside them out of thin air. Poor girl is basically kidnapped right then and there, but who woulda thunk Red Riot wanted a reward for taking down another hero and that reward just happened to be the lil’ milf who’d just dropped from the sky (or destroyed apartment building more specifically).

Don’t worry though, he may be a villain but he’s sweet and kind when he wants to be. And that includes taking care of you and your kid. Just like any normal abductee you question this motives and why’s he suddenly taken you from your home. He easily corrects you, saying that your home no longer existed and it was the manly thing to do to offer his surface to provide for you until you were able to get back on your feet.

(insert that one Soulja Boy audio where he says ‘HUH?!’ hella loud)

Why in the flying fuck would this man offer to take care of you? He had to have some kind of objective. But… to your surprise, he didn’t. In fact, you were free to leave whenever you wanted, and he made that clear.

Much to your surprise, Red Riot didn’t live in the LoV headquarters, he lived by himself in his own lil’ cabin in the woods that could easily fit a family or two. It was strange. You were thankful that he saved you and your baby’s life, but he was still a villain. A really, really handsome one at that. After his oh-so-caring suggestion, he mentioned if you wanted him to he would drive you back to the city and drop you off wherever you wanted to go. You dunno how it happened exactly but he’d been holding your baby while he was speaking to you, rocking the sleeping infant in his arms like he was their biological father. How was this man so fucking charismatic and sweet to you? He HAD to have some kind of ulterior motive.

Spoiler alert: yes, yes he did, but not the one you would expect from him.

Y’see… he’s always wanted a family. And here you were, dropped right into arms for the taking, and you didn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon, so he was going to use this opportunity.

A day turned into a week, a week turned into a month. And just as he promised, he took you out the house whenever you wanted and asked you each and every time if you wanted to be left in the city after your daily adventures (shopping and shit y’know, yes this man goes grocery shopping). But you always went back to his cabin with him, each and every time. Was this Stockholm Syndrome? No… couldn’t be, he openly told you to leave if you wanted to, then did that mean you were falling for the rugged mass-murdering villian? Looks that way.

As expected, the developing relationship between the three of you was not normal in the least, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He’d even introduced you to some of his buddies from LoV, only the ones he trusted tbh, and after that— you now had some willing and ready babysitters on call whenever you two needed.

Who wouldn’t abuse this opportunity? After some time convincing you, Red Riot, who had disclosed to you his real name was Eijirou Kirishima, managed to get you to go on a real date with him with just the two of you. And soooooo, ya did.

Who knew a villain could be so romantic? Certainly not you. He’d wined and dined you like his life depended on it and you were now putty in his hands. Perfect. The real games could begin.

He’s called a driver to take you both home and before you know it, Eijirou’s carrying you over the threshold like the two of you had just said ‘I Do.’

cracks knuckles

Now, this is where the real fun begins.

Red Riot, the hero-killing, tall, muscular, BDE, long-haired, thick-thighed, scarred, tattooed, smiling, thieving, hardening villain… has a breeding kink. And not just that, he’s got a big fucking dick that’s usually impressively hidden behind his usual wardrobe of loose fitting pants. But, you’ve seen him adjust himself more than a few times when he thinks you’re not paying attention, but you’re sure he just does it subconsciously without even realizing.

So there’s no real surprise when he’s dropped you onto your shared bed after a date and you can see the imprint of it through the black slacks he chose to wear. You coulda swore you saw the fuckin’ thing throbbin’ through the fabric but maybe your mind was playing tricks on you.

He’s now staring you down, noticing how your eyes have stayed glued to his crotch, with a timid look with some worry hidden behind your eyes. He grins and decides to have a little show for you. You’re struck back into reality when he suddenly grabs it, giving it a lil’ squeeze and a tug, causing your thighs to rub together in anticipation.

“No need to be nervous. It ain’t gonna hurt ya, baby. Promise.”

He purred, stroking his cock a few for times for you through his pants before moving his hands to start unbuttoning his shirt.

“Think you could strip for me, mamas? I like that dress on ya… Think I’d rip it to shreds if I tried to take it off.”

Sweet fuck, when’d you become so obedient???

Before you know it, you’re both naked and on top of the bed, not even bothering to get under the comforter or the sheets. Seems you two were impatient.

Eijirou was splayed out on his back, cock on fully display as it rested against his stomach that wasn’t exactly chiseled with abs, it was a lil’ squishy but the muscles in his arms and chest were hard to ignore. And would ya look at that, you were right, he did have a nagasode and hikae style tattoo with a dragon, flowers, and other symbols. His monstrous cock was almost teasing you with its ridiculous width and length, how was that going to fit in you? With its thick tanned shaft, and its fat brink pink circumcised tip that was dribbling precum despite being only half erect. The happy trail that led to a trimmed bush of onyx hair made you think about the hyped mane of hair on his head.

He’d decided to leave the gel out of his hair this evening so the bright crimson locks flowed in waves under his head… what kinda conditioner did this man use? Them locks shiny as a muhh’fucka- No, no, no, don’t get distracted.

Where were you?

He’d had you sitting on his chest, beckoning you to straddle his face with your thighs, and when you hesitated he took matters into his own hands and grabbed you by the hips, pulling you right onto his face.

Maybe I should have mentioned earlier that he’d got a forked tongue…? Y’know, the kinda tongue a snake has… He kinda got into a bit of body modification after dropping out of U.A.

And the way he uses his forked tongue on you is heavenly. So heavenly, that you nearly hunch over and run away from his skilled tongue, whining and whimpering his name, pathetically asking him to calm down and give you some time to adjust. The iron grip on your hips forces you stay right where he wants you, thick digits easily sinking themselves into your plush hips like memory foam. He’s absolutely ravishing you with the rapid fire motions of his tongue, writing out every Hiragana symbol in the charts, observing how you react to every trace of ever symbol. And when he draws out that one symbol, his tongue acting as a brush drenched in ink and your pussy acting as the paper, he notices the way you shudder and let out a guttural moan, clenching at his hair hard enough to make his scalp burn just a fraction— he smirks, abusing this new power.

ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki ki.

Ironically, the symbol that makes you shudder and silently scream sounds a bit like laughter, and laughter you shall receive. It is the best medicine after all.

Abusing this particular symbol, it is no surprise that the hardening villian soon rips an orgasm right out of your body, the searing heat that builds up inside you releasing into his mouth as you squeeze his head between your thick thighs.

Easily, Eijirou laps up your sweet nectar while groaning about how sweet and delectable you are, and gives you a moment to collect yourself, hearing the sweet pants and huffs that escape you as he rubs comforting circles onto your hips. That won’t last long, however.

“Think ya can cum on my tongue a few more times, lovely? Gotta make sure you’re slippery enough to bounce on my cock a lil’ later after all, hm? Be a good girl f’me, ya know ya can.”

my bad, my bad… went a lil’ crazy on this one 🧍 do with this as you please, aLsO i had an urge to draW hIm but i haven’t colored the lineart yet 😩 ill show ya when im doNe

You’ve been reduced to nothing but a whining, whimpering mess on the redhead’s tongue. He’s flipped and twisted your aching body so many times to get you in the perfect position, but nothing beats that good ole spread eagle.

Your hero turned villainous lover has both of those big hands holding you wide open for him, fingertips sunk into your plush flesh.

One knee is flush against the bed, the other is up against your chest, leaving nothing hidden from his fiery gaze. Your pretty pussy is his to abuse, at the mercy of that dexterous tongue and those razor sharp teeth.

Your moans and sounds are so cute to him, so pretty he wants nothing more than to keep fucking you on that long tongue.

You peer down at the beast between your thighs and the sight has you immediately tossing your head back, a breathy sigh passing through your lips.

Eijirou looks so precious—crimson eyes hooded and low, the thin sheen of your slick spread around his mouth while he licked and sucked you to another release.

‘Cu-cumming.’ Is how you’ll warn him before your pussy is creaming around that tongue again. You’re so sensitive, clit so swollen and red even the waft of his breath hurts.

But Eiji loves seeing you squirm, so much that he’s lathering your poor clit in spit, sucking the nub into his mouth just to hear you squeal as you claw at the sheets.

“Ei, p-please baby.” You’re begging, pleading for just an ounce of mercy from your lover’s tongue.

He raises his head to look up at you, or what’s left of you, granting a brief intermission as he flips you onto your belly.

He’s palming the fat of your ass, spreading you until he’s face to face with your delicious cunt and puckered asshole, his moistened lips curling up into a devilish smirk.

He loves this. He loves you and your perfect fucking pussy so much that tonight he plans on making you a mommy again. As soon as you cum for him one more time he plans to split you open and breed you.

“Just one more pretty girl, I promise.”

It’s nice to meet youuu, I love your work 🥺❤️Villian Kiri makes my pussy brain melt 🥹 I hate that it’s so short but I’m writing like 4 other one shots and my brain is a can of baked beans right now 😭

Hey bae, care to join us? @darkmajesty-xo

[twainxavier]

Last Line Tag Game

Tagged by @embroiderling and @samsalami66 thank you both! 😻

So, this is Dead Boy Detectives related (of course it is 🤣👌) and is from an upcoming Catwin Academic Rivals Dark Academia AU fic (so many buzz words 👀) Hope you like it! 🔎💀👻😻👑

TW: Homophobic slurs, bullying, threatening language

When it came back to him, he took a steadying breath, and gave a nod. He watched as Thomas’ feet led the way to the door, and then kept on walking as he followed. Edwin kept his head down all the way back to his old flat. The entire way there he couldn't help but wonder how on earth the two of them were going to move everything he had from one room to the other. It wasn't a huge amount, but it was still probably a lot, and he really didn't want to be in that place any longer than he had to be. He cursed his shaking hand as he raised his key to the lock on the flat door. He could hear voices behind the door, and he just had to hope that it wasn't Simon and any of his friends. He should have known any luck he had had long since ran out by now. “Oh look! The pussy is back! Where have you been, pussy?” a voice Edwin now recognised as Richie's rang out from the other end of the flat. He almost just collapsed on the spot, but then he felt Thomas’ presence behind him. With a breath he forced himself to stay standing and ignore the fear if just so he would not seem as weak as he felt. Instead he just went straight to his door and unlocked it. But before he managed to slip inside, he heard Thomas' voice. “Pussy. Interesting choice of word. I don't see any cats around here, just a bunch of bitches.” Edwin froze on the spot, shocked that Thomas would even try to stand up to these people. He finally looked up at his face again, but all he got was a soft smile. “You go pack your room up. Got anything you want from the kitchen?” Thomas asked, voice light as if he hadn't just called Edwin's attackers bitches. Before he could even formulate a reply for Thomas, Simon's voice interrupted. “So the fag has a bodyguard now?” It was a snide remark, but it lacked the venom it had the previous night. Thomas didn't even look away from Edwin, nor did he drop the gentle smile, so Edwin decided to just follow suit in ignoring Simon and his friend and answered Thomas' question. “Yes, mainly my plates and utensils,” Edwin said, pointing out where to find those things whilst giving Thomas a box. He didn't want to go anywhere near that kitchen again, so Thomas offering to go for him was a blessing he wasn't going to ignore. “Perfect,” Thomas still smiled at him, but Edwin saw it drop the instant he turned towards the kitchen. “I am a friend, not a bodyguard, but what makes you ask that, hmm? You think he needs a bodyguard?” Edwin couldn't see Thomas' face any longer, but he could hear a coldness to his voice that he had never heard before. Just before he shut the door to his room, he heard his attackers backpedal fast in a chorus of murmured ‘no’s.

So there we go, just a hint of protective Thomas, and he's going to say a lot more unhinged things whilst they move Edwin out of this flat 👀

I'm gonna tag @pumpkinkingsalem @stardustloki @seiya-starsniper and @here-be-bec and anyone else who feels like joining in 😻 No pressure of course! Have fun with it!

[kippykasey]

Old Defiance Jr High School (Dakota Laden x Reader)

This was a request by @coralineyouareinterribledanger

Summary: Reader joins the Destination Fear team on the investigation at Old Defiance Jr High School.

Pairing: Dakota Laden x Reader

Word Count: 5192

Trigger Warning: discriptions of a panic attack at the end

Authors Note: Took a while but here it is! As Destination Fear has rebranded for their switch over to youtube as Project Fear if you aren't aware. If an investigation happened on the Destination Fear show I will be using that but as soon as I switch to any Project Fear era stories that title will be used. Hope that explains anything!

Destination Project Fear Masterlist | Masterlist

A little hinty-poo. That is all the team had asked for and Dakota had supplied.

“Truthfully, we’ve never been to a facility like this.”

The guesses came in with Chelsea thinking it was a church, Alex thinking a bar, and Tanner didn’t even offer a guess before Dakota went on.

“I’ll just tell you guys, honestly–”

Tanner interrupts, “What? Hold on!”

“Oh my god!” Alex comments as Tanner practically shouts over him, “This is a first! This is a first ever!”

Chelsea even looked a bit shocked at her brother’s willingness to give up information about a location. “Okay. Do it!”

“Yeah,” Dakota glanced between the three before he gave them the location hint. “We are going to a haunted school.”

Chelsea instantly broke out in a wail of protest at the thought of returning to a school. “Why are you so upset?” Dak questions’s his sister, directing his camera at her looking at her through the small LCD screen.

“I spent so much on my life at school!” She complained leaning her head back against the window.

Kota grinned, “You really just got done like a year ago.”

“I’m more scared of, like, my memories of school, than I am of an abandoned school.” Alex admits.

Chels points to her brother, “Remember when you got a B in film class?” She teased.

“Shut up!” Dak says as they all laughed. “My high school consisted of me being a nerdy film boy.”

“I always got, ‘Too Talkative’ on my report card.” Tanner admits. “ ‘Distracts others’.”

“Do you guys know who you're sitting with right now?” Chels grins pointing to herself.

“Chelsea was the homecoming queen,” Dakota explained for the camera.

“The presence of royalty!” Alex jokes, faking a bow from his seat next to Dakota. He sits up and glances at Dak before mentioning about his days in high school, “I was pretty much just in the dean’s office.” Tanner chuckled at his friend.

“So you're saying you guys were trouble makers and I was the goody two-shoes?” Chelsea looked at the three guys around her, “And now look at us, we’re all in the same place in life.”

“Yeah, just goes to show you don’t need to try that hard.” Tanner jokes.

“Unless you're Dak, keeping your high school sweetheart.” Alex leans over to nudge Dakota.

Chelsea gasps and looks at her brother. “That’s right you and (Y/N) have been together since high school! Ugh I wish she were here she would have such good embarrassing stories about you.”

Dakota grinned to himself and nodded. “Don’t worry you’ll see her soon.”

The RV stopped and I stood up from the black bench that I sat on waiting for this exact moment. It took a few moment before the door opened and my high school sweetheart and current boyfriend, Dakota Laden stepped down with a grin on his face as he shot the camera at me and waved a hand. I waved back the sleeve of his my sweater fell slightly so it no longer covered part of my hand. He turned around and helped his blindfolded friends and sister from the RV. I covered my mouth to prevent from laughing as the four made a train to walk over. As he parted from them, letting them sit on the bench I previously occupied he came to my side and silently kissed my temple in greeting. After that I went onto the RV with my bag for the night to wait for my que to come out. The production member who had picked me up from the airport had told me about the mystery box that Dakota had set up, in fact I had helped set up the table and box for the event. Now I sat in the passenger side front seat holding a camera that I was given with a tape label over the handle that read my name, given that would be the camera I used for my visit.

I got to observe Chelsea, and Chelsea alone got up behind the box. The first mystery animal was a hedgehog, well four or them. The next was an armadillo, which is such a strange looking animal. The last was a snake. As a handler came to remove the snake Dakota placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder, he glanced to the RV at the same time a crew member opened the door and waved me over.

As I stepped down, out of the RV I could hear Dakota, “Okay but on a brighter note I do have one last surprise for you all. We will not be alone tonight because I have convinced a very special person to join us for her first ever investigation. (Y/N).” As Dakota turned towards me the other three turned as well, their faces lighting up. I waved with a grin as I pointed my camera at them to help capture their reactions to seeing me. They all ran over to greet me and it wasn’t long until rain interrupted us and chased us all back onto the RV to travel the rest of the way to the location, which I only knew to be a high school.

🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

“So, right now we are going to park and read the packet. To make it clear, (Y/n), you have no idea where we are going correct?” Dakota explains his camera panning over to where I sat next to Chelsea.

I look up from the LCD screen on the camera sitting on the table aimed at Tanner and Alex to face him. “I was told it’s a high school? Which is creepy by the way.” I tried to smile at him but it didn’t quite get past the nerves already brewing from the anxiety of my first investigation.

“Don’t worry little duck, we’ve got your back.” Tanner reached over patting my head which I quickly laughed at and pushed his arm away.

We all got out of the RV and entered this fancy park gazebo area with a fireplace. Alex sat off to the end getting the long shot of the table we sat at, Tanner and Chelsea on one side across from Dakota and myself. A light setup above shined down giving us enough light to read in.

“Alright. I know you guys already know that it’s at a school.” Dakota began glancing between all of us the packet him his hand. “But , trust me, this is going to be a very bizarre one for us.”

Tanner took the packet and opened it up for him and Chelsea to read the front page, the location of the next investigation, “Old Defiance Junior High School.”

“Positioned directly between two winding rivers in Northwestern Ohio can be found the imposing facade of former Defiance Junior High School.” Chelsea read from the packet. “Standing for over a hundred years this three story building shaped the lives of thousands of students. But the school was not the first structure to be built on this land.”

Chelsea passed the packet and flashlight for easier read over to Tanner who took over reading. “In the mid-eighteen hundreds, the town established a high school. The institution operated without incident until 1891, when a scandal shook the town of Defiance to its core. Janitor John Mall was a hardened man who was arrested for helping a teacher bring a 12-year-old student down to the school’s basement. Mall held him tight as the teacher whipped the boy mercilessly, drawing blood.”

I couldn’t stop the look of disgust and scrunch of discomfort in my shoulders at the mentioned incident. Dakota took hold of my hand, running a thumb across my knuckles to soothe my discomfort. “It’s horrible. That poor child.” I muttered.

“That’s disgusting.” Tanner comments looking over to us. He took a deep breath before lowering his head to read on. “The two were turned in to the police by the school’s superintendent. Mall was so angered by the arrest that he launched a complaint of his own against the superintendent. After a lengthy investigation, Butler and the teachers in question were cleared of all accusations. But that did not stop the fall out for janitor Mall.”

Tanner went on to read how Mall was found bludgeoned to death, lying on the railroad tracks with his legs amputated. The railroad tracks in question are no more than 100 yards behind the school. Some believe that he was placed there against his will. The most scandalous things to ever happen in Defiance with no answer as to who did it.

“The truth about what happened that fateful night out by the tracks, is still unknown to this day.” Chelsea reads and looks up.

“Now that is a very bizarre story.” Alex comments and Dak looks at him and agrees.

“Sounds like there’s a lot of sketchy things happening within the walls of this school.” Chels concludes as she turns a page to read more. “Unfortunately, the tragedy at the high school did not end there. In 1902, two young football stars collided head-first on the field. Due to the poor protection of their leather helmets, both boys were badly injured. The boy from the rival school suffered from a fractured skull over his eye and died from his injuries. In 1918, a modernized building was created on top of the same foundation, but the new building did not keep misfortune from its doors. In 1921, the class valedictorian drowned while swimming in nearby Powell Lake. And just eight years later a junior drowned in the nearby river when he fell off his raft.”

Tanner adjusted his hat before he took over the next part of the packet read. Since its shut down in 2018,” - “That wasn’t that long ago” I muttered lowly not wanting to interrupt.- “There have been very few individuals who have dared to venture inside the building. But the few who have strongly believe that there are many spirits that chose to remain long after the final bell tolls. The most active areas include the second floor, home to many different classrooms and the library. And there are numerous shadow figures that dart in and out of classrooms.”

Dakota took the packet next to read. His hand left mine as he took hold of the packet. “The gym, a separate building accessed through the basement..”

“Yeah really creepy dude thanks for bringing us to this place. I’m sure your girlfriend just loves the sound of this place.” Alex sarcastically says, making me nod.

“This place sounds awful. Shadow figures pulling you out of rooms, creepy basements connecting buildings.” I add on as I take the packet from Dak. I licked my lips before I began to read from where he left off. “The third floor, home to classrooms and the study hall. Loud tapping and lockers slamming shut have been heard. The area with the most intense energy is room 312. EVPs of a woman urgently screaming, ‘Get out!’ have been captured, as well as references to fire and burning. The basement, this is where janitor Mall brought a student down to be punished. Mall is a very angry, hostile entity and becomes increasingly agitated when asked about his death.” I look up to the group, “Let’s not do that then, shall we?”

“Screw that!” Chelsea objects.

“We’re going to deal with something that wants to hurt us?” Tanner asks, looking right at Dakota.

“We’ve never really dealt with any sort of spirit like this before.” Dakota explains. “Whoever ends up sleeping alone in that basement is screwed.

I huff running a hand through my hair feeling a spike in anxiety for what this investigation might bring.

🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

“Class is now in session.” Alex announces as the RV parked out front of the huge high school.

The five of us got out of the RV with our cameras and a flashlight. Dakota walked in the lead to open the door for the rest of us, I stayed right behind him, as the other three commented on the size of the school we were about to spend the night in.

“Welcome to school!” Dak announces as he opens the doors.

Chelsea and I entered first with Tanner right behind us. He looked around at the hallway we had entered into. “This is so weird. All the desks, lockers, papers are still everywhere.”

“Definitely has the creep factor.”

A loud slam behind us caused me to yelp and spin around. “Alex!” Dakota called out his friend who had a small smile on his face. “Just a little test to see if we’re on edge.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “Well I think it’s safe to say we’re on edge.”

With our first look done we set up the gear room on the first floor. From the first floor we headed down into the basement. Dakota once again took the lead but this time I stayed more in the middle with the Laden siblings in front of me with Tanner and Alex behind me. The first look at the basement was unsettling.

“The basement is where Janitor Moll lived and where he, reportedly, abused a student down here.” Dakota reminded as we stopped walking. Everyone was looking around. “When asked, ‘How did your die?’ Someone got the response, ‘I’ll show you.’” On my left, in one of the entrance ways I thought I seen a tall dark figure. Turning my camera towards where I was looking the dark figure was gone and it seemed simply to be possibly Alex’s shadow. I turned back to Dakota as he pulled a device out of his pocket. “I’m gonna have the ovilus on the entire time we’re down here. If janitor Moll is down here he will be able to choose one word at a time and talk to us.” He turns to his sister, “All right Chels, you wanna hold the ovilus while we’re down here?” He passes the devise over and I leaned over towards Chelsea to get a look at the devise now in her hand.

As a group we walked farther into the basement in the direction of the possible shadow figure I had seen earlier. Alex behind me muttered about how creepy the basement was and Dakota prompted for Moll to talk to us using the ovilus. With no response Chelsea directed Kota to lead us to the area where the janitor would have stayed. The room was a bit of a mess but the inspection lead to discovering a crawl space. The moment someone pointed out the crawl space the electronic voice of the ovilus spoke for the first time, “Here.”

“What?” Dakota turned towards Chelsea. She confirmed that the ovilus said ‘here’.

“A lot of people think you’re a bad man. Is there anything you’d like to say?” Tanner comments, my attention was still drawn to the crawl space, this time with my camera facing the same area.

It was silent as they waited for a possible answer. When there wasn’t one Dakota asked another question, “Where you actually as bad as people say? Or was the superintendent trying to frame you?”

Again nothing.

“Who killed you?”

That question got an answer. “Teacher.” The ovilus had answered.

The main four shared their excitement and shock of the answer. “That paints a different picture in my head of what went down.” Dakota admits.

“I don’t think I have ever heard ‘teacher’ come out of the ovilus.” Al comments.

“I have a gut feeling that the janitor knew something that someone didn’t want him to know.” Chelsea says.

“Maybe he did see too much. Maybe he did know too much.” Dak agreed.

“Yeah there is two sides to every story.” I nod turning to face them. “Maybe the janitor wasn’t the bad guy in the first place.” Chelsea adds.

Dakota restates the question if a teacher did this to the entity they were talking with. Although it wasn’t the ovilus that answered. Instead there was a loud thud that came from another room. Alex, being the closest to the doorway quickly went to look. He turned to look at us from over his shoulder, “Dude, I think that came from up the stairs.”

“Let’s go over there.” Dak instructs setting the team into movement heading to investigate the thud we all heard.

Entering the room where the stairs are off of we looked around. Dakota asked for another noise. It was quiet for a few seconds before another thud was heard. This time Tanner stepped into the hall shining his flashlight up the stairs. “That came from upstairs.”

“That sounded like a locker slamming.” Tanner says almost uncertain.

“That did sound like a locker!” Dakota and Alex agreed.

The group went back up stairs and entered the gear room. From there Tanner went over and slammed a locker shut to have a noise to compare what we heard to. It was pretty much confirmed that the noise was from the lockers weather it was slammed or banged on it was definitely from the lockers near the stairwell.

“I just don’t like the fact that it lead us out of the basement.” Tanner comments and I quickly look over to him. “I totally agree.” Tanner nods glancing over at me, “Like, after we were getting some good responses.”

“I mean, it’s said that he doesn’t like to talk about his death.” Alex reminds us softly.

“Or we were getting such good answers that something else didn’t want us hearing them.” Chelsea counters.

“Janitor Moll, was that you up here? Or was that something else, someone else?” Dakota prompts in a louder tone than what we had been talking among our self in.

No answer.

“Were you trying to lead us out of the basement?” Al asked.

The ovilus spoke. Return.

“Like go back down to the basement?” Chelsea questions.

“Why would it lead us back up only to go back down?” Tanner was confused.

As we stood there trying to understand what was happening another jingle like noise could be heard. “Is that coming from the basement?” Dakota asks.

Alex walked over to the top of the stairs and Tanner followed, as did I. As the three of us stood at the top of the stairs listening we once again heard the jingling sound.

“What is that?” Dak wrapped an arm around me as he leaned forward. “It was like metal.”

I let out a soft gasp. “Like keys!”

Once again we descended the stairs into the basement. “I think (Y/n) was right, it sounded like keys.” Chelsea agreed her camera pointed at me. Dakota also agreeing. Tanner even pointing out how a janitor carries a ring of keys.

As we confirm that activity keeps happening where we aren’t Dakota decides to set up a static camera in the basement, first floor, and third floor with a REM pod in front of each camera. With those ‘traps’ set up we walked up to the second floor to continue our investigation.

The second floor was just a creepy as the first. Chairs and desks lined against the lockers in the hallways, books and paper littered around. Stopping about halfway down the hallway once again Dakota lead the charge on trying to make contact. With no answer we enter one of the classrooms. The guys commenting on how untouched everything looks for a school that has been abandoned since 2018. With art still hanging on the wall, piles of books, all the chairs and desks still around.

It wasn’t long before we moved up to the third floor. The floor looked just as abandoned as the previous floors but with less desks and chairs in the hall. Yet is was still so easy to picture the halls still in use teenagers loitering around lockers, rushing to an from classes, lockers jamming or being slammed shut- a noise they may have already heard. Chelsea even commented on it, “You can just imagine all these halls packed with students.” It was something we could all agree with as we strolled down the hallway.

A REM pod was set up as we settled on a spot in the hall. Dakota opened up the line of communication. Alex was stood a bit farther back to get a wide shot of the group, always the camera man. I was somewhere between Alex and Dakota against the locker deciding to film behind Alex since it wasn’t being caught by the other three.

If only we knew the evidence being caught in the basement at that same moment. Buzzing. Running water. The light turning on by itself. All while we were floors above and no one else was in the building.. living that is.

With a seemingly uneventful third floor hallway investigation we headed into room 312, which is said to be where most the paranormal activity is centered around. Everyone seemed to enter the last room on the left, I ended up staying in the doorway, my back to the hallway.

“What exactly happens here?” Alex inquired to document the claims for their footage.

Dakota began to list that people have received EVPs saying ‘Get out’. Or EVPs relating to fire and burning that didn’t quite make sense. Chelsea pulled out the Ovilus by request of her younger brother. As she turned the device on I turned with my camera to peer down the dark hallway towards the stairs feeling uneasy, like someone was watching me. With multiple unanswered questions Dakota asked if the spirit would rather go into the hallway, behind me, where the REM pod was still set up and use that instead.

“If that REM pod goes off I’m getting out of this doorway,” I joked although very serious.

A REM pod did go off but it also happened to be down in the basement. Continuing to beep as the guys ask for a sign of activity. Including when Dakota asked for a sign to leave, but we wouldn’t know.

The ovilus finally went off drawing our attention to the devise. Chelsea looked down at the screen and repeated the word that it had said, “Observe.”

Dakota once again asked if the spirit could interact with the REM pod in the hall but the ovilus spoke. “Rewind.” I gasped softly. To look through all the floors worth of footage would take a long time. Something we wouldn’t be able to do until after the trip.

The group left the third floor, collecting all the equipment, before preparing to split up to sleep alone. It was when Dakota and Alex went to retrieve the basement camera and REM pod that they notice that the light was on. Dakota called for the rest of us. We all traveled down to the basement together to investigate the light being on.

“All of the lights are on down here,” Dakota mentions as he looked around the basement. He looked to the camera and seen the blinking red light signifying that it was still recording. “The camera is still on so we should have caught it on camera.”

Alex went over to the camera to verify that it indeed was still recording as we all fully entered the lightened up basement. Dakota admitted to not even knowing how to turn the lights on and we looked for a light switch. The group tried 3 different switches before finding the fourth, at the top of some utility stares that Tanner tried and successfully returned the basement to darkness. The bad news with the location was that the camera was pointed in the opposite direction and wouldn’t have been able to capture anything on the stairs that would flip the switch.

I feel bad for whoever has to sleep down here.” Dakota comments before we returned to the gear room to decide where everyone is sleeping for the night.

The four scary locations chosen were;

The gym, which we didn’t investigate and was a building all on its own.

The third floor.

The second floor.

And probably the worst being the basement.

Tanner wrote the four locations on paper for the random draw. Tanner drew the second floor. Dakota had me choose for the two of us. Sadly my luck was not there as I pulled out the basement. Alex pulled the gym leaving Chelsea with the third floor. With the locations selected we headed to our sleeping arrangements. Dakota and I headed down to the basement. Dakota set up the cot for me and him to some how share but he also had a sleeping bag just incase.

“How are you doing with all of this so far?” He asked in a soft voice as we both sat down on the cot.

“Good I think. I mean I have this constant feeling like someone is watching me and I have since we were on the third floor but I think its just nerves.” I admitted pushing a strand of hair out of my face.

“Well you’re doing great for your first investigation.” Dak leaned over and kissed my forehead before he pulled and pulled out two masks. Due to the condition of the basement we agreed that masks would be best for our health.

My restlessness lead to me sitting on the floor in front of Dakota and the cot. But still in frame of the set up cameras. My eyes were starting to play tricks on me, or so I thought, as a dark shadow would appear behind Dak occasionally but by the time I had blinked a few times it was gone, so I never mentioned it to my boyfriend.

“I’m really, really regretting taking away everyone’s flashlights.” Dakota admits before getting up and showing the darkness of the room by turning off the night vision. “Ow Dak!” I mumbled feeling something tug at my hair, thinking it was the zipper of his jacket getting caught in the dark. “Sorry, (Y/n).” Dakota quickly turned the night vision back on and sat back on the cot, making it creek.

“Janitor Moll, if you can hear me, in the nicest way possible, I really don’t wanna see you or hear you.

Dak and I made small conversation to pass the time, or pointing out possible noises both too nervous to sleep. I had stood and was now walking with one of the cameras so I didn’t walk into anything. “We’ve been down here for a while now. And it sucks.” Dakota spoke to the camera. “We keep feeling like we’re hearing things. In all directions. (Y/n) is somewhere behind me actually looking for anything.”

With nothing seen I went back to the cot to join Dak. Resting my head on his shoulder I closed my eyes. That was until we both jumped hearing the jingling, the same kind as earlier in the night. We both were not standing facing the direction the jingling had come from. Dak quickly moved for the camera. “Oh my god, I just heard keys!” He spoke to the camera about the jingling being the same as earlier but louder, do to the closer location.

“Hello?” Dak called out. He left my side to walk around the room we were in to investigate but I stayed near the cot. “That was keys right?” He asked.

“Uh huh. Clear as day.” I replied nodding my heart racing in my chest.

“Something is down here and I don’t like it. It came from close to this door or over here.” Dak was still looking around with the camera, no where near me when I heard a breathy sound next to me.

“Dak?” I called unsure of how far away he was to me.

“Yeah?” He replied sounding father away than the breath was.

“Something just breathed in my ear.” I bit my lip hesitating to look in the direction of the breath. I could hear Dakota’s hurried footsteps as he made his way back over to me. “There’s nothing there.” Dak tells me.

I let out a small nervous laugh. “Is..is now a good time to tell you I think I’ve been seeing something in the darkness?” I look up at him barely making out his face in the darkness. Dak took that seriously and instantly talked about getting out of there. As we went to leave I heard a loud knock right behind me causing me to let out a short panicked scream and grab onto Dakota’s jacket. I turned behind me to see a tall looming shadow causing me to stumble into Dakota’s back making him stumble as well. He was able to catch himself and quickly turn around.

Even in the darkness I could tell my peripheral vision was blurring as my breath quickened, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Dakota called my names sounding miles away. His arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders urging, leading me up the stairs out of the basement.

“Yo!” Dakota called as we entered the gear room his voice sounding as if I was stuck underwater.

Someone replied but I couldn’t hear it over the heartbeat in my ears. My hands felt numb as I gripped onto Dakota’s jacket.

“We’re done!” His voice was so far away as he tried to unfold my hands from his jacket. “Breathe, sweetheart.” As strangled, gasp was choked in and seemed to burn as it forced itself passed the lump that formed in my throat.

“Dude I am so done! (Y/n) having a panic attack.” His voice sounded crisper. He kneeled to the ground in front of me cupping my face.

“Sweetheart look at me, focus to my voice okay?”

My eyes blinked a few times before focusing on his face.

“Can you list five things you see?”

I licked my lips and looked around. “Camera. Desk. Chair. Books. You.”

“Good. Four things you can touch.”

“Notebook. Locker. My jacket. My watch.” I slowly acknowledged the notebook by my foot. The locker behind the chair that my head would occasionally touch. The jacket that felt too warm at the moment. And the watch that vibrated with the reminder to drink water.

Dakota smiled at me. “Three things you can hear?”

“Tanner and Chelsea in the hall. Alex over a walkie. My heart beat.” My breathing had calmed considerably and it no longer felt like a struggle.

“Two things you can smell.”

“Your body spray. Musty books.”

“Very good. And one thing you can taste?”

My brows furrowed at that one. I didn’t really taste anything at the moment. “I think there is a bit of strawberry left from my chap stick.”

Dakota let out a soft laugh as his thumb brushed over my cheek.

“That counts. Are you okay?”

“As long as we leave, sure.”

“I can take her outside while you guys pack up.” Chelsea offered softly as she stepped up next to her brother.

Dakota looked between her and his sister before nodding. “Get her some water too please.”

“I got it.” Tanner spoke up and passed the water bottle forward.

Dak helped me stand and kissed my head. “I’ll be out in a bit. I promise. It’s okay.”

[happypopcornprincess]

Call It What You Want (Chapter 2)

Note: The story is set somewhere in 2018, pre covid, before Yei won the world champion. A lot of Oyei, Yak and Cher's backstory has been my own creation. Also some new characters are also purely fictional.

Please do not repost or reupload this story as your own.

a/n: I imagined Ice being played by Aye Sarunchana [Torfun from ATOTS] and Lita being played by Sara Legge [Paan from Theory of Love]

TW: anxiety, PTSD, mentions of assault

Series Masterlist

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One Week Later

Ice and Lita had basically held him up at their place for a week, refusing to let him go unless he willingly ate something. Ice stayed glued to him the entire time, and even though Cher never said it out loud, she knew he didn’t want to be left alone. It was a throwback to their teenage sleepovers, filled with rom-coms, junk food, and the comforting presence of a best friend. But this time, the laughter was replaced by a heavy silence, a shared understanding of the trauma he'd endured

And true to her word, Lita had pressed all charges. Attempted kidnapping, robbery, assault, and harassment. Cher had told her everything when she came back from the station, and she assured him not to worry as they have both proof and witness. “They’ll go to jail. I’ll make sure of it.”

He was grateful to have them, and even more grateful about the fact that they didn’t let this out to Cher’s mother. He knew she would want him to move in with her and would stay paranoid if he kept on living in his apartment.

He should be happy, right? His assailants are going to get punished, he’s got support from all his friends, he is safe. He should rest and get back on his feet.

But why can’t he rest?

The memory of his helplessness during the attack replayed on a loop in his mind.

How easily those men had overpowered him, the terror that had left him frozen. He could have been dead if it wasn’t for Yei coming to his rescue. He couldn't rest until he felt a semblance of control again.

As Lita dropped him off at his place, a flicker of determination sparked in Cher's eyes. He may have been a victim that night, but he wouldn't be one anymore. “Lita,” he began, his voice firm, “do you have any way to contact P'Yei?”

===

“I’m sorry for the mess, we just moved in, I didn’t have any time to clean up.” Yei was embarrassed by how messy everything was. He led Cher to the back of the warehouse and into their home. “Please, make yourself…” Yei kicked yet another box out of his way, “comfortable.” He led Cher to the back of the warehouse and into their home.

Cher, the boy from that night, had turned up at his warehouse out of nowhere. Turns out he lived nearby and judging by how his lawyer friend acted at the station… he was rich. The clothes he wore right now; classic brown trousers and loose white shirt, screamed upper class Thai money to him.

Which let him wonder what was he doing in the neighborhood late at night.

Cher took a seat in his living room/bedroom/dining area, Yei saw him looking around the place, crates of things everywhere, the gas stove in the corner still on cooking soup for lunch. Half of the rooms were in dire need of a reconstruction after years of neglect. He slept in the living room and gave the least damaged room to Yak, he knew how teenagers are with their privacy.

Thank God that boy was at school because his room was on a whole other level of messy.

But to Yei's surprise, Cher didn't seem disgusted. Instead, he looked around with a curious gaze, like an artist studying a blank canvas.

“So let me get this straight,” Yei begin, taking a seat across him, “You want me to train you for boxing.”

“Self-defense.” Cher answered with complete seriousness.

Well, this was going to be weird.

“Cher, I understand why you’re asking me to do this but…” Yei took a deep breath, “I am actually  thinking about retiring from boxing.”

"What!" Cher exclaimed, his eyes widening in surprise.

Yei did his best to explain his situation. "I have a younger brother to support, and boxing championships only bring in a little money. I don't have any sponsors. How can I keep going like this? I need a stable job," he blurted out.

It felt strange to say it out loud, after keeping it bottled up for so long. Cher took a deep breath, his expression unreadable.

"So you're just going to give up boxing?" he finally asked.

Yei offered a sad smile. "I don't have much of a choice, Cher."

Cher remained silent, his shoulders dropping as he took a look around the house and out the main door at the warehouse. Cher kept looking at it, los in his thoughts as Yei was left wondering what he was thinking about.

“Is that warehouse empty?” he asked after a while.

Yei hesitated, unsure of where this conversation was headed. 'Yes,' he finally said, 'it hasn't been used in a while.

"What if I told you there was a way for you to keep boxing and make money?" Cher proposed, a glint appearing in his eyes.

===

Next Day

“This is a crazy idea, Cher. You hardly know this guy!” Ice looked at him holding her bottle in a tight grip. They were having brunch at his house when Cher explained his plan to help Yei build a Muay Thai training center in his old warehouse and teach him self-defense, Ice looked like he had grown two heads. Lita, on the other hand, just smiled and started investigating Yei on her tablet.

“It is a good investment Ice, believe me.” Cher said, sipping his beer in his living room.

“Holy shit dude, you were right.” Lita blurted out, slamming her food down and shoving the tablet towards the center of the table. There were countless articles about Yei Phadetseuk, a national-level champion and renowned boxer with a string of tournament victories under his belt. A household name in the Thai boxing scene.

“How the fuck is he unemployed?” Ice grabbed the tablet, scrolling frantically through articles.

'His dad left the family for another woman, taking his sponsorship with him,' Cher explained. 'His managers did a lousy job promoting him, and his mom recently passed away. He has a younger brother in high school and no income. That's why he hasn't had any fights scheduled.'

Lita shot him a curious glance, “well someone did their research.”

Cher nodded. 'I've seen him fight, Lita. He's got incredible potential. With proper support and training, I'm confident he can reach the world championships.'

Ice chuckled, “Also; he’s kinda hot.” she added, pulling up a photo of Yei in the boxing ring – shirtless, glistening with sweat, and undeniably ripped.

Cher swatted her shoulder playfully. 'He's a good man, and he saved my life. This is the least I can do for him. He has the talent; he just needs someone to help him showcase it properly.'

'Are you absolutely certain about this, Cher?' Lita asked, a hint of concern in her voice. 'Take your emotions out of it for a moment. Analyze this as a businessman, then decide.'

“I am saying this with a sound mind Lita. I won’t jump to conclusions without having a plan, I promise.” He assured his friends.

Cher understood his privileged upbringing. Witnessing all the entitled, two-faced heirs around him, he knew he never wanted to become one of them. His skills in management and renovation were the reason his mother had allowed him to move out after college. He was confident in his ability to help Yei and his brother out of this predicament.

“Have you talked about this with him?” Ice asked him.

“Yes, I have. He said he’ll think about it, but I’m sure he’ll accept. He gets to keep boxing, all while earning money. It’s a win win situation.” Cher smiled.

While Ice and Lita shifted off to a different topic, he couldn’t help but look out of the window, thinking of the kind man with golden eyes and his gentle smile.

He had saved his life, and now it was his turn to do the same.

To be continued...

/---/---/---

Masterlist || Part Three

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Taglist - @seoulmates98 @randomia-in-wonderland @fandomforever369 @nitorem

Comment down to be added to the taglist.

---/---/---

More Thai BL Fanfics

Tangled Fates: The Sign Series Fanfic A Phaya x Tharn fic about their past life as Sapuna and Wansarut.

[hand-picked-star]

The 13th Anniversary Arshi Fiesta

Moodboard : Historical AU

Whispers of the heart | Chapter 24

DISCLAIMER: The story is set in the early 20th century. While I have made efforts to capture the essence of the era, there may be inaccuracies as this is a work of fantasy. I do not own the characters Arnav and Khushi, and this story is purely fictional with no relation to any real individuals, living or dead. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

WARNING: 18+, MATURE CONTENT.

Chapter 24

And at last, the day of prosecution finally arrived. The court was brimming with people.

Arnav as a prosecution lawyer started first, "Your Honor, today we stand before you to seek justice for the countless lives that have been devastated by a criminal conspiracy rooted in greed, brutality, and the complete disregard for human dignity. The defendants in this case are not mere opportunistic criminals. They are orchestrators of a scheme that goes beyond mere dacoity. They preyed upon the innocent, massacred entire families, and took lives in cold blood to satisfy their insatiable hunger for power and wealth."

After a brief pause, he started again, "This case goes beyond punishment. It's about restoring justice for the victims. We ask you to affirm that no one is above the law and that justice will prevail. Thank you."

The the defence lawyer stepped forward, "Your Honor, my prosecutor friend paints my client as a heartless criminal, but we must remember the foundation of our justice system: the presumption of innocence. My client, Mr. Rajjani, is a respected individual who was caught in an unfortunate situation. On the day in question, he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. His presence was purely incidental. The prosecution's case against him relies on circumstantial evidence and assumptions. We ask you to carefully consider the facts and recognize that Mr. Rajjani is not guilty of the crimes for which he has been accused. Thank you."

"Nice speech, Mr. Patel," Arnav remarked with a nod as Mr. Patel concluded his opening argument.

Mr. Patel adjusted his spectacles, a subtle smile playing on his lips. "For you to learn from it, my friend," he replied smoothly, his tone both genial and slightly teasing. A slight smirk curled in the corner of Arnav's lips.

Mr. Kishori Lal Patel was a distinguished and seasoned lawyer, a man who carried the weight of decades of experience on his shoulders. However, it was disheartening that his expertise was being applied to the defence of someone implicated in such grave and serious offences.

Then, the court proceedings began. The investigating police officer, the medical examiners, and the Registrar of Deeds of the Land Registry Office all of them involving the Tiwari case gave their testimony. And then, to everyone's surprise, Arnav called Mr. Lallan as the state witness to testify in the witness box. Mr. Lallan identified his accomplices and confirmed that Mr. Rajjani was also a member of the group. He also told the court about the involvement of Mr.Lala. Following his testimony, the defence lawyer commenced cross-examination.

"Mr. Lallan, why should we believe that you're not lying just to avoid the death penalty?" the defence lawyer began.

"Objection, speculation."

"I can ask that question, Your Honour." Mr.Patel protested.

"Overruled . Please continue Mr.Patel."

"Thank you Your Honour. Please answer my question Mr.Lallan."

"I am telling the truth."

"Very well. The other accused had never seen each other's faces before. Are you certain you saw my clients, Mr. Rajjani, and Mr. Lala during these attacks?" the defence lawyer asked.

"We all have a similar tattoo on our thighs. You can check him too," Mr. Lallan said eagerly, causing a ripple of whispers to spread through the crowd. This was precisely what Arnav had hoped for, and Mr. Lallan did not disappoint him.

As the judge ordered everyone to expose their thighs and reveal their identical tattoos, the case seemed to be nearing its conclusion. However, Arnav requested one more witness to be brought to the stand. He detailed the pattern of the previous cases and the documents collected from the Land Registry Office to link the cases together, a proof that these events were not purely coincidental. Then he asked the sole survivor to testify. Madumati Ji took her place in the witness box and took her oath.

"Madumati Ji, please tell us what happened that night," Arnav asked, his voice steady and commanding.

"Objection, Relevance."

"Didn't I submit the evidences to link these cases together? " Arnav retorted.

"Overruled, witnesses may answer the question."

"Thank you, your honour. So tell us about the night, Madhumati ji."

"Hayree Nand Kishor, That was a horrible night,''Madumati Ji began, her voice trembling. "I heard Khushi, I mean, Sashi Gupta's daughter screaming in her room, so I rushed to see what was happening. What I saw there.." She took a deep breathbstruggling to continue, "Garima Ji was being assaulted by a man."

"Please be clear, Madumati Ji," Arnav urged, his tone firm but gentle.

"He was forcing himself on her,'' Madumati Ji whispered. ''And another man was approaching Khushi. That man was near the door. They didn't see me. So I grabbed the door bolt and struck him with all my strength. When he fell, I took Khushi and hid with her in a crevice in the kitchen. I don't know how long we stayed there until I heard Mahindar Ji's voice."

"Thank you, Madumati ji. Did you see any of their faces?" Arnav asked softly.

"No, Nand Kishor, their faces were covered with a gamcha, but both had a mark shaped like a star on their thigh."

"Did you inform the police at that time?"

"Yes."

"Anything else, Madhumati ji?"

"Yes, the man who assaulted Garima ji was naked. He had a large black mark on his back, kind of a birthmark. I reported it to the police as well."

"Thank you, Madhumati ji."

"Your Honor, this is a copy of the drawing of the tattoo and Madumati ji's statement from 12 years ago." Arnav handed the documents to the court clerk, who passed them to the judge. The picture displayed a pentagonal star-shaped tattoo."The same tattoo our state witness, Mr.Lallan talked about and also present on our defendants' bodies."

"The court acknowledges the evidence. Defence, you may cross-examine," the judge remarked, indicating the defence lawyer to proceed.

"Madumati Ji, let me ask you a few questions. You mentioned that you didn't see the men's faces because they were covered, correct?" the defence lawyer asked, stepping forward.

"Yes, that's right." eyeing him suspiciously. Her voice was steady despite the tension.

"And this incident happened 12 years ago, is that correct?"

"Are you weak in math, Nand Kishor?"

A ripple of laughter swept through the crowd. Arnav ducked his head to conceal a smile, accustomed to Buaji's antics.

"Silence, please. Madhumati Ji, please answer the question."

"Yes."

"You see, Madhumati Ji, memory can be a tricky thing, especially after such a long time," the defence lawyer said, pausing before continuing. "Are you absolutely certain those marks were star-shaped tattoos and not something else? It was dark, and you were clearly scared. Maybe you saw something else. How can you be so sure?" The defence lawyer pressed, trying to sow doubt.

"Objection, leading question, Your Honor."

"Sustained. Counsel, please refrain from asking leading questions."

"I want to answer that question, Judge shaheeb," Madumati Ji stated firmly, her voice unwavering. "Yes, I was scared that night, but those marks are burned into my memory. And that picture in your hand, I drew it, not today, but 12 years ago. I know what I saw."

"Your Honor, while we respect Madumati Ji's testimony, we ask the court to consider the potential fallibility of her memory due to the traumatic nature of the event and the significant passage of time. Thank you. No more questions," the defence lawyer addressed the judge.

"Thank you, Counselor. We will take that into consideration. Madumati Ji, you may step down," the judge said.

Addressing Arnav, the judge added, "Mr. Raizada, proceed with your next witness."

"Thank you, Your Honor. I request that Madhumati Ji be allowed to remain on the stand a little longer to identify a crucial mark for me."

With the court's permission granted, he continued, ''Your Honor, I now ask permission to question Mr. Shyam Manohar Lala.'' Arnav had previously obtained a court order to bring Mr. Lala to the witness box and to restrict him from leaving the province or the country.

As Arnav approached Mr.Lala, the tension between them became evident. He posed a single question, "Lalaji, how do you respond to the evidence implicating you in this case?"

"I am completely innocent, Your Honor," Mr. Lala retorted. "Ramprasad is lying. They sold their lands to me willingly. They are trying to defame me."

"Why would he do that? Do you have any animosity with him?"

"I don't know. Perhaps you coerced him into lying," Mr.Lala seethed at Arnav.

"Objection, Your Honour, Argumentative." The defence lawyer stated firmly.

"Sustained, Mr.Raizada, please rephrase your question."

But Arnav's eyes twinkled with satisfaction, seeing Mr. Lala growing agitated with each passing second. He leaned forward, a smirk curling on his lips. "It is highly inappropriate to accuse a lawyer of misconduct, especially in court," he said, his tone cool and composed. "However, for the sake of clarity, could you please show us your left thigh?"

"Objection, Your Honor. Unnecessary invasion of privacy and improper line of questioning," the defence lawyer interjected, standing up.

"What kind of insult is this, Your Honor? I have no involvement in this," Mr. Lala insisted, stressing his innocence.

"Then why the hesitation?" Arnav pressed. "We only have a doubt. Lalaji, please assist us in clearing it up."

"Objection overruled. Please show us your thigh, Mr. Lala, and help resolve our doubts," the judge ruled.

Upon the judge's order, Mr.Lala reluctantly exposed his thigh, revealing the pentagonal tattoo. This sight sent a wave of gasps through the courtroom.

"I wish I could stop there, Lalaji," Arnav said with a steely resolve, "but could you please also show us your back?"

As Mr.Lala turned and exposed his back, revealing the distinctive birthmark, Arnav's smirk deepened.

"Madhumati ji, have you seen mark before?" Arnav asked Madhumati ji without turning toward her. His eyes fixed on Mr.Lala.

"YES, YES, that's the mark Judge shaheeb. I will never forget this mark."

Arnav turned to face the judge and said, "That's all, Your Honor."

Khushi sat idly at her office desk, her gaze drifting toward the gloomy sky outside. Today, she felt a deep sense of melancholy that seemed to engulf her. For the past few days, she had been experiencing these sudden bouts of sadness, a feeling of wanting to cry that she couldn't quite explain. With a sigh, she picked up the newspaper for the day.

Shyam Manohar Lala, Mohan Rajjani and 7 others Sentenced to Death for Heinous Crimes in Landmark Verdict

The headline stirred a bittersweet feeling within her. She was present in the courtroom yesterday. It was her first time attending one of Arnav's proceedings, and she couldn't help but think she should have chosen a different case for her debut. She would have relished seeing him in his element under happier circumstances than witnessing this particular trial. But perhaps, she mused, it was simply her destiny to see him fighting for her and her family.

She was undoubtedly relieved that her parents' murderers had been brought to justice, but the resurgence of painful memories cast a sombre shadow over her. She knew she needed to go home and rest. The past few months had been difficult for both her and Arnav. It was a relief that the nightmares had eased down a little bit. Despite this, she felt persistently exhausted. She just felt tired all the time. They would stay in the Rajput Haveli for a few days more, as Dewali was this week. Then they would return back to their home.

But suddenly, after few days, Khushi fell ill and caught a severe case of stomach flu. Amma, Babuji, Bua Ji, and Arnav all scolded her for indulging in too many jalebis, rabri, and golgappas the previous day. Despite their concerns, her condition worsened over the next ten days, showing no signs of improvement. The doctor visited today, diagnosing her as dehydrated and advised them to give her more fluid. How could she keep herself rehydrated when the mere sight of food made her sick?

Suddenly, Buaji's shriek startled everyone. "Arey, Manoroma, have we all lost our marbles, Nand Kishor? Payaliya, go ask Hariprakash to fetch Ganga Tai!"

Upon hearing Buaji's words, everyone suddenly turned their gaze towards Khushi. She felt like a deer caught in headlights and managed a nervous smile. In return, they all smiled back at her as well. Though their smiles were well-natured, but they seemed menacing to her. Khushi pursed her lips, feeling her heart pounding loudly. Out of everyone's sight, she tenderly placed her hand on her stomach. And somehow, she knew. She didn't need Ganga Tai, the local midwife, to tell her what was happening.

"Arnav, uthiye na," Khushi whined, gently shaking Arnav from a deep slumber. Her voice was filled with a mix of desperation and impatience.

"What happened?" Arnav mumbled, his voice muffled as he buried his face deeper into the pillow.

"I want to eat jalebis," her voice rising with a hint of excitement.

Arnav slowly raised his head, squinting at the bedside clock. "It's three in the morning, Khushi. Go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep. The baby wants jalebis."

Arnav sighed deeply, propping himself up on one elbow. "Alright, only on one condition."

Khushi's eyes brightened with hope. "Kya?"

"You have to drink a glass of milk too."

Khushi scrunched up her nose. "But milk is yucky."

Arnav gave her a stern look. "Then I'm going back to sleep."

Khushi's eyes widened in alarm. "No, no, no! Okay, I'll drink the milk. Now please, let's go."

Arnav got up lazily from the bed and turned on the light. Khushi, with a playful pout, spread her arms as if she were a child wanting to be picked up. Chuckling, Arnav gathered her into his arms.

Him, being a father hadn't fully settled in yet. Perhaps it was a gradual process, and with time, he would gain the momentum to fully embrace parenthood.

They had returned from the Rajput Haveli two weeks ago. Though Chachu and Chachi had wanted them to stay at the haveli, it was no longer fitting to live there for an extended period after their marriage. Staying there long-term now seemed inappropriate. Instead, they had brought Buaji to live with them in their house.

As Arnav walked through the corridor with Khushi in his arms, this was the third time that week they were embarking on a midnight mission for jalebis. Soon after her sickness subsided, her cravings for jalebis reared their head. The first time, her craving had been for hot jalebis without chasni. The next, she demanded them with chasni and added countless conditions. They couldn't disturb Gauri ji or Buaji, as the thought of waking them up made Khushi tear up out of guilt. So, the only person left to make the jalebis was him. It felt as though she had no affection for him anymore, only her love for the sweet treat prevailed at that moment.

Khushi had meticulously guided him through the process of making jalebis this past week, and now he had become a pro. His once hesitant hands now moved with precision, swirling the dough in the hot oil with confidence, ensuring each jalebi was crisp and golden and then dipped them in the perfectly sticky, sweet chasni.

They settled on the balcony with a small plate of hot jalebis and a glass of milk. She savoured each piece of jalebis with evident delight.

"Wow, these are sooo good, you've learned to make such delicious jalebis," Khushi praised Arnav in between bites.

"Yeah, if I ever fail as a lawyer, I might just start a stall in the market."

"At least you'd have one loyal customer," Khushi winked, offering him a piece of the sweet delicacy.

Arnav caught Khushi's hand, taking a bite of the offered jalebi. His tongue lightly swept over the tips of her fingers, sending a ripple through her skin. One by one, without breaking eye contact, he polished off all the sweet chasni from her fingers.

"Yeah, you were right. Today's jalebis are extra delicious," he said, winking at her. A lovely redness tinted her flawless skin, which looked radiant under the moonlight.

"Are you trying to correct a past mistake?" Arnav laughed, remembering their childhood moment.

"Maybe."

"Or are you trying to seduce your wife, Mr. Raizada?"

"I can't help it. You're just so irresistible," he leaned in to kiss her lips, enveloping her smile with his own. "And so, so, so sweet." He punctuated each word with a press of his lips against hers.

He kissed her some more. At least he could do that, since the doctors had banned any physical intimacy until her fourth month of pregnancy. Releasing her lips, he said, "Alas, all my seducing will go to waste."

"Serves you right. How shameful it is. Now that I'm pregnant, everyone will know what we do...what we did," she whispered, pursing her lips.

Arnav burst out laughing. She swatted his shoulder lightly, then joined in his laughter as well.

Arnav's birthday was approaching next week, and Khushi wanted to do something special for him, despite his dislike for celebrations. Last year, she had cooked his favourite dishes, but this year she wanted to make a more significant impact. After discovering her influence over him physically, she was determined to come up with something that would truly blow his mind.

However, since she couldn't be intimate with him due to the doctor's restrictions, that plan was off the table. She pondered other ways to make him feel special and happy. Her mind raced with ideas throughout the day. She decided she needed to explore the secluded spots of the library and gather inspiration, so she planned to visit the library to search for ideas and find the perfect setting to surprise him.

She wished for a magical box where she could write, "What is another way to make your husband happy physically when you're pregnant?" and have all the answers appear before her. Life would be so much simpler if someone could provide a straightforward solution.

After a discreet search, Khushi finally found a book that seemed to promise answers. However, as she leafed through it, the content was convoluted and confusing, leaving her more perplexed than enlightened. But she was determined to decode those confusing texts.

It was five minutes to midnight on Arnav's birthday. He had a crucial hearing the next day and was working late in his study. Khushi timidly knocked on the door, causing him to look up from his file.

"What are you doing still staying up?" he asked.

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday," Khushi said shyly.

He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled at her, an amused glint dancing in his eyes as he observed his suddenly shy wife. He raised an eyebrow.

"Happy birthday, Arnav," she said, growing nervous under his silent gaze.

"Why are you so shy all of a sudden?"

"I didn't bring a gift."

He extended his hand toward her. She took it, allowing him to pull her close until she stood in front of him, where he sat. He placed a hand gently over her belly.

"You've already given me the best gift in the world," he said softly.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her stomach after placing a tender kiss there. Khushi's fingers tangled in his hair as she smiled.

"I want to try something. Promise me you won't laugh," Khushi whispered, nervously playing with his hair.

"What?" Arnav asked, intrigued.

"Close your eyes."

Instead of following her request, Arnav frowned, his curiosity piqued. Taking a deep breath, Khushi settled on his lap, surprising him. Her legs straddled him as she lowered herself on his body. He instinctively grabbed her waist.

"What are you doing?" he asked, a mix of curiosity and concern in his voice.

"Kuch nehi," she replied softly, her eyes locked onto his. "I just want to kiss you."

And she kissed him once, twice, three times, her lips soft against his. She trailed kisses along his chin, his jaw, his neck. His stubble tickled her sensitive lips. She gently rubbed the back of his neck, massaging his scalp with her fingers. The soothing touch and tender kisses felt nice to him, too nice actually. Her kisses, he could take, but what was becoming unbearable was the way her body moved against him. He grabbed her hips to still her and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You're doing it on purpose." he whispered, his voice strained. "Don't start something you can't finish."

Khushi bit her lip to hide her smile, her face flushing slightly. "But I intend to finish,'' she whispered back, kissing him again.

Arnav squinted slightly, trying to gauge her intentions as she slowly slid down his body, kneeling between his legs. Her hands rested on his thighs, then moved a little higher, grazing the growing bulge in his pants. Before she could go further, Arnav caught her hands.

"You don't have to," he murmured, his voice thick, his breathing ragged.

"But you want me to," Khushi replied, her gaze meeting his. Eyes sparkled with mirth.

"How do you know?"

"I can see it in your eyes," she whispered. She pressed her lips together, a ghost of a smile dancing on her face.

"Damn it,'' Arnav exhaled, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I've got the best wife ever. Let's go to our room."

She giggled as he pulled her up by her shoulders and scooped her into his arms. He carried her towards their bedroom, determined to finish what they had started.

At the end of next month, La and NK got married. The way they clicked together from the very beginning, it was inevitable that they would end up together. Khushi couldn’t attend their wedding for obvious reasons, but La and NK assured her that they would visit soon. In fact, they planned to enjoy their honeymoon in India. Khushi was over the moon to have her two best friends with her. Over time, NK and La fell in love with India and its people so much that they decided to stay for an extended period to help Khushi with the foundation.

As her dream regarding the foundation slowly came to fruition, she found herself yearning to focus on her other dreams. Khushi had always dreamed of becoming a writer, but whenever she sat down to write, her ideas felt scattered, elusive, like pieces of a puzzle that just wouldn't fit together. Despite having the time, she struggled to find the focus and direction she needed before. Her thoughts seemed to drift aimlessly, and her creative energy, though abundant, was unfocused.

Then came the unexpected news of her pregnancy, which brought a sense of calm and clarity that she hadn't anticipated. Though the first few weeks were overwhelming, filled with a mix of excitement and anxiety. As her body changed, so did her perspective. The life growing inside her gave her a new sense of purpose and a grounding she hadn't felt before. The scattered thoughts that once filled her mind began to settle, like leaves gently falling into place.

The quiet moments, especially in the early mornings when the world was still asleep, became her sanctuary. The ideas that had once been disjointed started to come together.

As her pregnancy progressed, Khushi found inspiration in the smallest of things-the gentle flutter of the baby's movements, the warm sunlight streaming through the window, the quiet moments of reflection. Each day, she would write a little more, her words a reflection of her journey, filled with the raw emotions of impending motherhood. There were days when the physical toll of pregnancy would slow her down, but she pressed on, driven by the idea that she was creating something lasting, something she could share with her child one day.

Writing became a form of therapy for Khushi, a way to process the changes happening in her life. The book she was crafting wasn't just a story; it was a reflection of her own experiences, fears, hopes, and dreams. Every chapter was infused with the emotions she was feeling-the joy, the uncertainty, the love that was growing each day for the little one she had yet to meet.

As her due date approached, Khushi found herself writing the final chapter, feeling a deep sense of accomplishment. The book was a journey, much like her pregnancy, filled with unexpected twists, moments of doubt, and overwhelming joy. When she finally held her first draft in her hand, she realized that the time she had spent writing had not only brought her closer to her dream of being an author but had also prepared her for the beautiful, challenging journey of motherhood.

Her book, once a distant dream, was now a testament to the strength and resilience she had discovered within herself during those nine months. Khushi knew that this was just the beginning of her story-both as a mother and as a writer.

<previous> | <next>

@featheredclover @arshifiesta @phuljari @chutkiandchotte @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @msbhagirathi

[copperbadge]

I know that it’s been a Very Long Time but do you ever get terribly nostalgic for old/less active fandoms? I confess I recently came back to tumblr and saw that I followed you. I was like, of course Sam storyteller, the Bucky guy. But then I got a hankering for my older and dearer by far love Ianto Jones and went back to reread some of the greatest hits and I remembered. You are not the Loki guy. You are the Ianto guy, to me, and I can’t believe I forgot that. I miss that fandom so much it was so fucking. Toxic. The Gwen bashing, I simply cannot romanticize it in good conscience. But the fic quality and diversity was, dare I say it, nearly unparalleled (in my heart). Like when it hit it really hit you know? A golden age of trashy sci fi indeed. I miss my dead welsh son. Sorry to ramble in your ask box about the dubious old days

Anon, I am so sorry, a bunch of my asks got pushed way down in the inbox and then I forgot they were there, so apologies this is MONTHS late in getting posted.

I, eh, I don't really get nostalgic for old fandoms. Usually I leave them for a reason, but even if I just drift away, my experience of a fandom is pretty fundamentally different from most because of my higher profile. There are things I can't do or say in a fandom that other people could, and there are things that happen to me outside of my control. They're not even necessarily bad things, just stuff like...I'll write a fic in a new fandom, and people from my previous fandom will start engaging with the canon because I did. So often, rather than just falling away from a fandom, I'll leave a fandom and drag a bunch of people with me. They might not even leave the older fandom, but they come along to the new one too.

And often the wanks that pull people in without their consent simply don't touch me because there's a portion of fandom that is either scared of me (or my readers) or just doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't determine which.

Torchwood's a pretty good case in point -- the Gwen bashing was extreme. I wasn't a fan of Gwen but what I saw from the antigwenallies was really, really gross. Still, even though I wrote fic about Gwen and engaged in meta around her presence in the show, I avoided them and thus had exactly one interaction with them ever, which was when they posted up a fic of mine as "anti-Gwen" and I asked them to remove it and never recc anything of mine again. They did, and that was the end of that. Nobody ever came to my posts to attack her or me. Likewise, there was one really, really aggressive anti-Ianto wanker, but she never engaged with me or even as far as I know talked about me, despite the fact I was a huge Ianto fan and wrote a lot of fic about him. I really hated the shit she said, but I also didn't see any value in arguing, so I left her alone and she left me alone. (I won't name her because I checked up on her a few years ago and it turns out she was struggling with serious mental health issues that she'd gotten a lot of help for, and felt really terrible about the things she'd done, so I'm actually quite proud of her. But if you know you know.)

I also just...have a bad memory, so I often don't remember what happened in a fandom, or even sometimes that I was in a fandom. Most of the memories I do have are either vaguely warm and friendly, or "avoid this fandom/person at all costs" based in a negative interaction (which I sometimes don't remember the details of).

So yeah...I mean, Torchwood ended pretty terribly so I don't miss it in part because I try not to think about it. Generally if I have a good time in a fandom and then leave it, it's because I simply said all I had to say there. But I'm usually looking forward, not back, just because the past is a bit of a fog bank for me, most of the time.

[skzoologist]

Unfamiliarity [two]

word count: ~10.5k

genre: Hybrid AU, no pairings

warnings: forced intake of medication, usage of heavy meds, panic attacks, signs of PTSD, hints of being experimented at, past abuse, occasional curse words, hurt/comfort, just bad choices overall from everyone

summary: Being taken in from the street means you get a mandatory, very fun session with the vet :)

a/n: I hope none of you missed the story too much, seeing as I took TWO MONTHS to update. I am horrible, my time-management skills are non-existent. My deepest apologies, I will put up the next chapter hopefully the next week to try and tame your ire. Especially since no new members are introduced in this chapter yet, only in the next one... Anyway, I hope you have fun reading this and feel free to barge into my ask box if you have any thoughts or questions!

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in!Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

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Waking up was not fun at all.

The moment my consciousness resurfaced and I opened my eyes, my whole body started hurting. My head pounded mercilessly, feeling heavy and fuzzy. My throat was parched, tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, the notion of peeling it off uncomfortable.

I slowly got up, my body shuddering and fur twitching as I sucked in a whine that almost left my muzzle. My back hurt and stretched, the smell of antiseptics hitting me in the face. My nose crinkled up, eyes watering from the unpleasantly strong smell. Shaking my head to try and get rid of at least a bit, I huffed and stood up on shaky paws, carefully stepping down from the 'bed'.

My whole body felt like a weight as I stood there, needing a moment to recollect myself.

What was I doing last time? I wasn't in 'bed'... No, I was eating, right. The wolf… yes, he was teaching me how to use those sticks. Then…

Everything came rushing back to me, the glass, the capture, the stars. Wait no, those were freckles.

Trotting towards the place where the clothes were stored, I stood on my hind legs, front right paw resting on the right door as I opened the left one with my maw. Sure enough, there were clothes neatly laid out there by the others, like it always had been.

Shifting into my other -more vulnerable- form, I suppressed every groan of pain that wanted to escape me. The scars on my upper body stretched painfully, the feeling unpleasant and familiar. Quickly putting on some clothes, I walked towards the door and took a couple of deep breaths.

Nobody was nearby, they were all huddled in the 'living room' from what I could tell. That was… weirdly perfect.

Quietly opening the door, I stepped out into the hallway I had walked across so many times before. Not wanting to notify anyone of my presence just yet, I left the door open -instead of risking them hearing me closing it- and stepped across the smooth floor, my steps muted and precise.

Nearing the stairway, I stopped as I heard hushed voices. I couldn't make out any words thanks to my fuzzy head, but their tone was more than enough to indicate their misery. My ears pressed into my head, knowing I was probably the cause of that.

Gathering my courage, I gulped down my racing heart that leapt into my throat and took a step towards the staircase.

By the fourth step I was noticed.

By the sixth, their voices completely died down.

By the seventh I stopped, gaze meeting theirs after a few seconds.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

My voice was raspy, the words almost unrecognisable from the lack of use over the long years. Yet, I continued looking at them, my uninjured hand clenching in anticipation, waiting for them to inevitably throw me out or hurt me.

"You…you can speak?" - croaked out a small voice, the others too stunned to speak yet.

I nodded.

"...Then why haven't you spoken so far?" - asked another.

"...wasn’t allowed to…" - I rasped out, my throat closing up in strain.

I awkwardly continued to stand there, waiting for a reaction, just anything.

"Well, why’re you just standing there, come down here you idiot." - choked out Chan. Before I could open my mouth to protest, Minho cut me off. "No, we’re not angry at you, get your ass down here or else Felix and Changbin will tackle you onto the stairs and worsen your injuries."

I just accepted my fate, making my way over towards them in my stupor. I didn't even reach them when the aforementioned feline shot up from his seat and rushed at me. I didn't fall over only because Minho warned me, so I stood there stiffly as the boy clinged to me as if his life depended on it, apologising over and over again.

My brows furrowed. What wrong did he do that he needed to be apologising for?

I quickly caught the words 'shirt' and 'breakfast', the pieces clicking together as I realised he had been blaming himself for my panic at the table.

I hovered my hand above his head, only after a moment of hesitance did I finally gently place it atop his mop of angelic hair and stroked it, mindful of his little ears.

"Not your fault." - I rasped out, but he either didn't hear or didn't believe me as he just buried his face deeper into my chest.

Sighing, I took his face in both of my hands -injury be damned- and nudged him to look at me. When he finally did, I repeated the same sentence, my tone firm and leaving no place for any argument. I wiped his tears with my thumbs, then looked towards the others as I continued speaking -or at least trying to-.

"Bad memory. Not anyo–... anyone's fault. Sorry. Broke glass and caused trouble."

My voice died halfway and I sounded like I rose from the dead, but none of them seemed to care. Changbin indeed affectionately hugged me once I was close enough, my body almost smushed into paste. I endured it, even as my form protested and skin shivered, knowing he had no bad intentions. Chan was full on crying and smiling at me, engulfing me in a bear hug once Felix let go of me for a few seconds. Minho just repeatedly called me an idiot in an endearing tone, his voice light and playful.

That evening was one I would never forget for the rest of my life, the warmth that surrounded me suffocatingly gentle and sweet.

-.-.-.-.-

The days kept going by in a similar fashion, my life gaining a rhythm I never thought I would ever have.

Everyday I would wake up in my little den -that nobody intruded upon, just like the wolf promised- to a knock on the door, one of the boys waiting there with breakfast for me. Taking it thankfully after greeting each other, I would then go to the bathroom and get ready for the day -yes i had to be shown how to wash my teeth and i absolutely disliked how it felt-. Afterwards, I would join whoever was in the big, spacious room, lounging on the sofa together. Skinship still made my hair stand on end, so I usually sat on one side, while the others were on the opposite one, huddled and cuddled up in one big pile. Then usually, around the same time I would be ushered back into my room. Not that I minded -sometimes i even left earlier, the presence of the others too much for the day-, but I had a feeling it was so I wouldn’t run into the human.

It left a strange feeling in my chest, whenever I thought about how suspiciously considerate these hybrids were towards me.

I also got used to everyone's scents by now, although my stomach sometimes still unpleasantly turned whenever they were especially strong and mixed together. The clothes they let me borrow definitely helped hasten the whole process, even though they looked comically short on my stature.

Speaking of clothes, as I was putting on a fresh shirt, I heard a ripping sound echoing through the room.

Panicking, I quickly took it off, the movement irritating my injuries further, but I didn't care about that. No, checking the precious fabric’s condition was a way bigger priority. I turned around the piece of cloth in my hands and sure enough, there was a newly formed hole in its fabric.

Putting on a different one -more carefully this time-, I made my way out of the room, my ears lowered and tail lifeless.

I was hit with deja vu as only Minho was lazily lounging on the sofa, attention partly on the TV, half asleep. Not wanting to bother him or accidentally fully wake him up, I was about to start leaving back into the hallway when Felix appeared. He greeted his feline friend and cuddled into him, purrs now loud enough for even me to hear.

Letting a small smile sneak itself onto my lips, I turned around to leave when suddenly, Felix's head popped up over the back of the couch. His left ear flicked as he was looking straight at me with a deadpan expression, motioning for me to join them. I shuffled in place, embarrassed I was caught, but went down the stairs to join them anyway.

The blonde boy greeted me quietly, the brunette conked out under him, soft snores already leaving his form. My gaze softened at the sight, ears letting up and tail swaying gently.

I took my usual place on the soft furniture, the shirt in my hand now painfully obvious. I played with it absentmindedly, just watching the TV alone as the other feline decided to take a nap as well. They had woken up not that long ago, so I couldn't really understand how they could fall asleep so fast once again. Huffing in amusement at them, I turned towards one of the downstairs hallways as I sensed the other two hybrids leave a room and approach us. Sure enough, they saw and greeted me, in return I nodded at them.

Before they could say anything, I put a finger in front of my lips, motioning towards the sleeping hybrids. Chan looked at them with such warmth as he chuckled, while Changbin just rolled his eyes playfully, muttering things about cats and their laziness.

"Oh, why do you have a shirt in your hands?" - the wolf asked after he sat down next to me, the other parts of the sofa taken by the stretched out felines.

My form turned sheepish, eyes looking at the ground. I held up the fabric for him to see, the hole painfully obvious as I muttered out a grated 'Sorry'.

"Don't be sorry baby, I honestly thought this would happen sooner. None of us have fitting clothing for you, seeing as you are ridiculously tall." He let out a small sigh, silently pondering over his next words. "I’ve waited with this for as long as I could, but it seems like we have no choice anymore, sorry. Because if we want to get you new clothes, you need a collar. To get one, you need to be officially adopted, and for that, you need a checkup. You needed one anyway, for your injuries." - he carefully whispered out, his gentle gaze searching my form for a reaction.

The blood froze into my veins. 

I never wanted to be adopted again, or to have a collar on my neck. I gulped, the air suddenly thin and not enough. The room felt hot, while my body remained frigid. I was vaguely aware of the wolf in front of me, but my vision became slightly hazy and limited.

I blinked several times, forcing the memories and feelings down, not willing to cause another scene and appear weak in front of them yet again.

"-by, are you alright?"

All at once I became painfully aware of his knowing gaze and gentle hold on my uninjured hand. I merely nodded, noticing Changbin hovering nearby as well. My ears flicked towards his direction, a sign I noticed him and was fine. He eased up and sat down next to Chan, head propped up on one of the elder’s shoulders.

"I'm sorry baby, we can wait a bit more to get your injuries looked at. Forget I said anything." - he squeezed my hand once more, then let go as he instead focused on the movie that was playing.

I tried to do so as well, mind numb and slow to work.

I remained seated there for the rest of the day -besides eating and such-, aware what the others were doing at all times. Sometimes they silently watched the TV, other times they caused a ruckus. Chan checked his phone a couple of times, but I wasn't bothered about that. He did that sometimes, probably speaking with his human. The day went by and I was soon back in my room, sleeping early to just end the day faster.

I should have cared about that phone checking.

The next day started the same as my days usually did, but when I met the others, there was a strange tension in the air. They seemed a bit awkward around me, especially the wolf. I only raised an eyebrow at that, an uncomfortable feeling settling into my gut. But I thought nothing more of it.

I really should have.

Next thing I knew, the day slowly trickled by, the bad feeling only growing stronger, body fidgeting endlessly. My eyes regularly flitted around the place, searching for the source of my uncomfort.

It arrived in the form of an ear-splitting ringing. I jumped, having never heard the loud sound and remained in place. The others looked at each other with uncertainty, letting the youngest boy open the door.

Taking a deep breath, my nose picked up on an unfamiliar smell, one that did not belong to a hybrid. Before Felix reached the door I bolted, vaulting over the sofa and up the stairs, diving under the 'bed' and into my den, my safe place.

There was an unknown human in the house and I had a really bad feeling that it had something to do with me. What if it was them, finally having found me, ready to take me back to their lab? What if it was the law, coming to punish me for what I had done?

My head raced with thoughts, none better than the other.

Amidst my panic, the door opened, Chan stepping in and crouching in front of my hidden form.

"Baby, come out please. He just needs to look at your injuries and check if they’re healing properly." - he coaxed fruitlessly.

Oh so it was just a doctor. I didn't know if it was worse or better.

"Baby, please, it's just me in here. Come out."

He was right, it was indeed only him in the room at that moment, the others’ scents all outside and not in the room.

Not getting an answer, he just sat down and continued to try and lure me out with gentle murmurs, his voice on the edge of begging. Still, it took him a good while to get me out of my den, but I slowly crawled out and looked at him wearily.

Betrayal.

Betrayal was all I felt, as he grabbed me, shouting for the others to rush in and hold me down. My back was pushed onto a plush surface as it burned, my limbs held down even as they struggled to regain their freedom.

But no matter how hard I tried, their grips firmly remained on my body. A growl ripped out of my chest as my jaw was forced open, something placed inside as they firmly shut it. I didn't want to swallow down whatever it was, but he kept his hand in place, the other massaging my throat.

Tears escaped my eyes as I couldn't fight it anymore, the object sliding down with a forced gulp.

I continued thrashing, even as I felt a bit more sluggish, but nothing more.

"Fuck, he needs another one."

No!

I ripped my left hand out of its hold, something painfully moving out of place as I struggled to break free, blindly clawing at anything I could reach. My limb was soon recaptured, the hold on it only causing more pain. In the next moment my jaw was forced open once again and I relived that horrible moment from a few minutes ago.

My body felt heavy, head hazy as I laid there panting, unable to do anything anymore.

The wolf came into my vision, wiping away the tear tracks from my cheeks as he whispered something about being sorry and not having a choice. I just continued laying there, the ceiling much more interesting for my unfocused eyes as I accepted my fate.

Their familiar scents left and in came a new one, my gut already churning in place.

The new voice introduced itself, but I couldn't be bothered to remember its name. My mind was stuffy, as if it was filled with cotton. The room looked somehow funny, the patterns seemingly coming to life with each passing second. I could hear a chuckle as I marvelled at them, having never seen such things before.

Wariness was sitting at the back of my mind, forgotten there. My mood took a funny turn as well, numb and giddy mixing together to make me obedient and helpful.

And I was. 

I sat up sluggishly and let the human do whatever he wanted to me as I merely watched him, like a lifeless doll on drugs. He checked various parts of my body, being extra diligent around the scars on my upper body, head and arm.  Although I did make a face when he checked inside my mouth or touched my ears and tail, goosebumps uncomfortably raised on the surface of my skin.

After way too much prodding and tests, he was finally done and left, the knots in my stomach easing up.

I remained seated where I was, the floor perpetually moving and writhing beneath my feet. I watched it, highly intrigued, even as someone else came into the room.

Looking up I realised it was the wolf, my mood elated and tail wagging, happy to see him.

With a 'Channie!' I hugged him rather forcefully, rubbing my head into his. Suddenly realising what he had done not even long ago, I let go of him quickly, as if he had the plague. "Wait, no, I am supposed to be angry at you." - I muttered, arms crossed.

He just laughed, patting my shoulder. "You can come in guys, he's good, although a bit too high!" - he shouted out the open door, leading me back to where I sat not long ago.

Not even a second later Felix rushed in and I tackled him similarly to the wolf, just with a happy shout of 'Sunshine!' this time. Realising he was in on my backstabbing too, I let go of him and scrunched up my nose. "Wait, I am supposed to be angry at you too."

I stepped away from him, but then Minho and Changbin came in as well, and in a now very familiar fashion I greeted them. "Binnie, Linooo!… Wait, you guys held me down too… Ooh the floor is still moving." - I released them, looking around the floor as I heard them all laugh.

"How long do you think the meds will last? I need to know when to start recording, this is golden." - cackled the scary feline.

"The doc said a few hours, and that’s with his abnormally high tolerance." - replied the wolf as I was led to the bed by Binnie, the ground still tripping me out.

"Can we keep some of these meds? I have never seen him like this before, so… open and cuddly." "Well the doc did give us some, in case he freaks out again or anything. And no, Lix, those are for emergency use only."

The kitten pouted and I almost went to comfort him, before once again I remembered what they did. I went to cross my arms as I pouted, but the rodent hybrid gently held my injured hand that now rested in a cast.

"Don't pout, please, we did what we thought was best." - he whispered, caressing the cast with his thumb. "If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who had that ide–" The wolf was elbowed in his sides by both felines, a 'Shut up' and 'Naur' leaving their lips in disharmony.

I pursed my lips together, opting to instead hide myself in Changbin's side.

"I was just so scared. I thought it was him, or, or the others. I didn't want to go back." - my voice rasped out, cracking at a few places.

A few seconds of silence passed as one of them carded their fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Baby, who is he?"

"Dun wanna talk about it."

I just pressed more into the younger boy, my voice muffled. Taking a deep breath of the tropical scent, I threw myself over the others, face now nestled into the wolf's middle.

"Smells good. Safe."

"Maybe we can use these meds out of emergency too sometimes."

-.-

I woke up to a full bed, the thought dancing around my mind before fully registering. I tensed up under all the bodies, my heart rate accelerating fast. Not wanting to wake them up, I scooted away as much as I could, my body ridden with goosebumps, reminded of the past.

Some of them stirred but remained asleep as I just sat there, trying to recollect what had happened that could result in this.

I, sadly, came up a bit blank.

Instead of wrecking my already hurting head even more, I watched the others sleep, their features peaceful and at ease. A smile slipped onto my lips.

I knew it for a while now, that they sneaked their way into my heart, I just kept denying it. My heart was just not ready to trust again, and it probably never would be.

But I was willing to try, for their sake.

I had no clue how long I had been sitting there, but gradually all of them woke up, greeting me and each other. I nodded back, the question I had been itching to get an answer to sitting on the tip of my tongue.

"What happened yesterday?"

They froze up, glancing at each other, until Minho slipped his phone out with a suspiciously wide grin on his face. He tapped some things and a video started playing.

A video of me, cuddling into every single one of them with a satisfied smile on my face.

I blanched, wide eyes not believing what they were seeing. I nearly choked on my spit when I heard their nicknames leaving my lips. Nicknames I thought I never said out loud.

"Yeah, you were extreeemely high from the meds." - laughed Chan, rubbing his nape at the memory. "Yup, called Lix's freckles stars too and asked Binnie if he could lift you up, since he has so much muscle."

My cheeks warmed up immediately, ears lowered in embarrassment. I took my tail into my uninjured hand, pushing my face into it to hide as they all just laughed at my expense.

I couldn't face them anymore. Never again, actually.

-.-.-.-

The following days I hid in my room, memories of that day now fully intact as they trickled back to me. I was hurt over being fooled and forced into a medical checkup, especially because they knew how I would react to it. So their solution was to lie to me and force medication down my throat… But to their credit, none of them came into the room uninvited still, only knocking to give me food, which I quickly took and shut the door into their faces.

I was torn.

On one hand, I had finally admitted that yes, they had wormed their way into my heart. On the other hand, the trust that had been so carefully crafted now crumbled down in front of my very eyes.

It was painful.

Instead I just let my eyelids flutter closed as I laid curled up in my den, tears easily racing down their already carved out paths.

I was so tired.

-.-.-.-

I was startled awake by quiet knocking on my door, the sound ear-piercing in the deadly silence. It must have been night, my tired mind supplied amidst its haze.

I blinked a couple of times, the weight of my body settling into my soul, easily convincing me to not move a finger.

But the knocking disagreed as it rang through my echoing room once more.

Taking a deep breath to will myself to move, I immediately recognised the sugary sweet scent wafting through the air, dragging a sigh from my body.

Crawling out of my hiding place, I held my head as it throbbed, sight swimming and throat parched. The thought of accepting the food I refused hours earlier didn’t sound too bad at that moment, but I instead shook my head gently and shut my eyes closed forcefully. My vision soon returned fully afterwards, so I slowly padded towards the door and opened it just enough for our eyes to meet.

Those usually glinting, bright nebulas were now dim, sitting atop dark and raw skin. The sight broke a part of me, but I showed no sign of it, no, I couldn’t, I refused to. Instead I just hummed with a questioning tone, wanting to hear the goal of his visit from his mouth directly.

"Hyung… Do you… Could we talk? Please?" - his voice cracked, eyes glistening and pleading.

I couldn't say no to that, so I opened the door just enough for him to slip in, closing it quietly after confirming no one else was nearby.

He awkwardly stood in the middle of the room, so I just motioned towards the 'bed' for him with a jerk of my head. Getting the hint, he carefully sat down at the edge of it, his lax tail laying close to his body in distress.

I remained standing in front of him, a fair distance between his timid form and my angry one, hands awkwardly crossed in front of my chest -this cast thing was getting on my nerves-. My question was clear to him, no words needed to convey it.

"We… You have to know we did it for your own good, Hyung. I…I'm really sorry, I'm not saying what we did was right, but you needed medical attention! Your- you didn't see your injuries, when the glass cut into your burgundy fur, I… I was so scared. You were bleeding a lot and, and… I just didn't want to lose you. None of us wanted to…"

The once bright boy in front of me was broken, tears cascading down his freckled cheeks, just like on that day. It felt like I cast a spell, a curse, hiding away the blinding star behind a curtain of weeping clouds.

It felt horrible.

I felt horrible.

Sighing quietly, I uncrossed my arms.

"I'll… I'll need some time to, to think this through." - my voice rasped out, the air grating against my vocal chords painfully.

The boy nodded, wiping his tears with his long sleeves, his feet carrying him out, through the doorway.

I just stood there, feeling empty even as the door closed and the quiet sniffing disappeared down the hallway.

"...For my sake, huh?"

-.-.-.-

It took me 3 days to scrape my feelings and thoughts together into a partly comprehensive ball. I still couldn't fully understand the situation, and in no way did I forgive them. But I also realised that I didn't have the full picture.

That was what brought me to the current situation, agitated form standing in front of the others' shocked ones.

"I'm still angry, but need explanation."

They just gaped at me for a few seconds, then looked at each other, as if silently communicating.

A deep sigh left the wolf as he rubbed his nape, gaze firmly planted into the ground by his feet.

"I was the one who called the shots, so if you still wanna be angry at someone by the end of this, let that only be me. The others don't deserve this."

Someone else wanted to interject, but his sharp glare was all it took to quickly shoot them down.

"While yes, you did need the check-up if you wanted to remain here, which is something we all wanted before you think anything else, your recent injuries were urgent. We did have our theories after you didn't really look to be in pain, but they were confirmed after the visit. You have a dangerously high tolerance for drugs and pain, so you must not’ve noticed the extent of your injuries, but please, believe us when we say they were severe. You became almost blind to your left eye, for the sake of-!  Sigh  But this still doesn't justify what we-, I did. I apologise, from the bottom of my heart."

I could only stare at his bowing form, the others following in suit. Something tightly constricted in my chest, something that started at the beginning of his speech. What it was, I had no clue.

A shaky breath left my form, my fists clenched and gaze dropping.

"It hurt."

The silence was deafening.

"I thought… I thought I could start to trust you. That I- was safe here… Why? It hurt so much." - as if the constricting band snapped in half, my chest became lighter and I just stood there as tears slowly cascaded down my face, hands uselessly hovering mid-air.

Nobody came near me, my body both happy and sad about it, a part of me already used to their warmth and comforting touches. It tore a violent sob out of my chest.

I was so tired of all this.

Of not being normal, not being able to enjoy someone's presence or touches. I wanted to be normal again! Not this, this freak!

"Oh baby… You're not a freak."

My sobs froze into my chest as I looked up through my tears, not even realising I spoke out loud.

"Yes, you’re not like the others, but only because you’re hurt. And hurt can be healed and fixed, even if it takes a long time. Maybe not fully, sure, but you can become better with time and care."

The voice of the wolf was soothing, like cold water on a hot summer day.

"But we can only help you if you let us."

The gaze of the little herbivore was equally warm.

"Please, Bae Hyung, let us help you."

The young feline's voice was broken, but it held so much strength it shook my soul.

And while the last member only nodded along and spoke nothing, his body posture and gaze sang poems, all with the same goal.

It was as if something I had been hauling around for long years got lighter, the weight not impossible to bear anymore. I could clearly hear my walls crumble, the ones I had put up after that day for my own protection. Fresh tears sprang into my eyes, lips trembling.

"Promise? N-no more?"

Even though my broken question couldn't have been any more vague, they all firmly responded, swearing to not let such a thing happen again.

And while yes, I did not forgive them at that moment, I knew it would only take time.

-.-.-

And time it took.

While I did leave my room occasionally, it only happened every few days and for a short time. My body involuntarily shuddered from their close proximity, afraid they would hold me down again and--

I shook my head, the thought bristling my skin, making my hair stand on end.

No, I refused to think about that. Instead, I focused on the scent of the sunlit forest, filled with tropical fruit. A meadow hidden between the tall giants, filled to the brim with mellow flowers, their sweet nectar luring all kinds of beings closer.

Taking a deep breath, the scent filled my lungs and lingered there, as if my organ clinged to it desperately.

A cheerful greeting broke me out of my trance, the source busy in the kitchen turning the place upside down amidst its mission to find snacks.

I didn't even notice I was walking down the hallway, let alone down the stairs, following the strengthening scent of a sweltering, bountiful forest.

Blinking, I nodded back at him, my eyes following his shorter form. Reaching up for a cabinet, his muscles tensed and yet, a pout sat on his lips as he just couldn't quite reach the prize he sought after so desperately.

Calmly striding over, I took the crinkly bag from the upper shelf, the packet having been safely tucked into the corner. After inspecting the bag for a brief second -they were some kind of chips-, I turned around and placed it into his hands, his form strangely frozen and big doe eyes innocently blinking up at me.

But before my head could tilt in confusion, he beamed up at me gratefully, bounding over to the sofa, beckoning me to follow after having fallen into its soft cushions.

A fond sigh left my nose, but I complied to his wishes nonetheless. Soon enough, our separate forms were watching some kind of romance story again -that was all we ever watched-, his arm that held the bag frequently stretched out towards me. A silent offering of food, one I gratefully accepted.

Changbin felt like fire. His presence hot, attention demanding, yet it was always tamed around me. He was a bundle of untamed flames whenever they thought I wasn't around, and still, the inferno was pleasantly warm and grounding. Safe. Like a lit bonfire on a cold winter night.

And I was but a cold, starved animal, undeniably drawn in by its light, yet also afraid of being burnt. Thus, I could only watch from afar, basking in the small wisps of fire that reached my form as the others huddled around it, hungrily devouring its unending heat.

And maybe, maybe I would be able to get closer one day too.

-.-.-

Quietly slinking down the stairs, I looked towards the kitchen where Minho resided, his back turned towards me as he was busy making food.

I purposefully stepped towards the side so he could catch my form in the corner of his eye, not wanting to startle him. My plan worked as he glanced at me while muttering out a short greeting, eyes quickly focusing back on the pot sizzling under the heat.

Taking a deeper breath, its aroma filled my nose, pleasantly tickling my mind and hungry stomach.

As if led by the scent, I walked closer, curious form now dangerously close to his cooking one. I could easily see over his shoulders, my eyes drinking in every move he made, hands gracefully working the pan and the food residing in it.

It was quite mesmerising.

Throughout it all, he never once ushered me away or uttered a word.

Minho felt like the tall grass in an unending meadow. Always there, calmly swaying in the gentle breeze. He didn't speak a lot compared to the others, instead he let his actions do the talking. His occasional words were sometimes harsh, sure, but his actions were always gentle. He was a pillar you could lean on, should you need it.

It was reassuring.

Minho was reassuring.

-.-.-

The wolf was weird. Weird in the way that he tried to hide things, certain feelings behind smiles. His broad shoulders always tense in a way, as if carrying the weight of the world. 

But I could smell it, his pain and exhaustion oozing into his scent, the forest ageing and weeping in return. It unpleasantly twisted my nose, causing my brows to furrow as well.

There were times where he only smelled like sunshine, the trees blooming in happiness as a gentle breeze ruffled their canopy. His face reflected his mood, lips breaking out in a face-splitting smile, dimples on show and gaze glinting.

But at other times his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, the dark orbs seemingly drowning. In what, I did not know.

Compared to Chan's safe, yet chipped presence, the little snow leopard was the exact opposite. The boy wore his heart on his sleeves, his mood usually bright.

Felix was like the burning sun, a star so bright it felt painful to get closer. His presence alone eased the atmosphere, his affectionate touches and hugs making everyone melt in his arms. 

When he was sad, he didn't hide it and instead sought comfort from someone. But just like how clouds never stayed in front of the sun to obstruct it forever, he always bounced back into his cheery self.

Felix was my sunshine, the light in the unending darkness. Chan was my guiding path, leading me away from my past.

I could only fondly gaze at their focused faces as we sat in front of the TV, the artificial light creating shadows on their faces, highlighting every imperfection. Yet I found all of them perfect, my arms folded on the back of the sofa, head laying on top of it to observe them better.

I wanted to carve that moment, them into my memory, into my heart. Desperately wanting my soul to remember every single one of them and their features.

That was when I had suddenly realised, my anger towards them had vanished, just like the cold, white veil over the world.

-.-.-.-

Waking up under the bed in my den early in the day was nothing out of the ordinary. The empty feeling in my gut was, however. I furrowed my brows together, lips setting into a line.

What was this feeling?

It ate away at my very being, as if it was missing something. But I had everything I had gotten over the past months, except maybe a few snacks that had gone missing.

Blindly searching around, I grasped at the 'blanket' and brought it to my chest, hugging it tightly. The motion did little to fill the gaping hole in my chest.

Looking back at it, the feeling was familiar and not at all new. It just wasn't this bad before, or if it was, I did not notice it.

Huffing in frustration, I crawled out and begrudgingly got ready to start the day, even though it clearly wasn't ready to do so itself. The sun wasn't even up, its rays barely peeking over the horizon. I shielded my eyes from it and instead went out of the room quietly.

The house was silent, bathed in dancing shadows. A quick inhale told me all I needed to know, the scent of the human still strongly lingering in the air, meaning they were still in the house. Already knowing they lived on the same floor as me, I quickly made my way down the stairs, steps muted and calculated. I had learned which parts of the wood creaked a long time ago, the motion now automatic for my body.

Not wanting to meet the human by staying at the sofa, I turned towards the hallways hidden by the stairs.

My body automatically led me to a door and stopped in front of it.

Gaze sweeping over the floor, I hesitated. They were probably still sleeping. I didn't want to be a bother, especially since I didn't even know what to say to them. Something along the lines of 'Hey, sorry, I just feel empty and weird inside, can you help?' maybe? Not a chance, nope.

"Hyung?"

My body startled, head whipping towards the side to meet Changbin and his curious gaze on my form, cute, little, round ears twitching in curiosity. I lowered my own ears, embarrassed, not knowing what to say.

Instead of the familiar question of 'Is everything alright?', he just walked towards me -oh he had lighter clothes on, he was probably on his way to train- and knocked on the door. 

Right in front of my frozen face.

Before I could even voice my worry and confusion, he left my panicked form with two hefty pats on my shoulder and a wink. I stepped towards him, mouth open, arms ready to grasp at him–

"Hyung?"

Ah shit.

I immediately closed my mouth, arms falling limply back to my sides as I didn't know how to face the younger. I rubbed at my nape nervously -a habit i had picked up from the wolf accidentally-, looking at the ground. The sweet scent in the air calmed me slightly, just enough to stop me from bolting away in embarrassment.

"What are you doing up so early?" - Felix asked as he rubbed at one of his eyes, voice hoarse and filled with slumber.

"...couldn't sleep."

A soft 'oh' left his mouth, the soft rustling of socks against wood filling the air.

Turning around I saw he had stepped aside, silently inviting me into his room. I felt the other hybrid sooner than I saw him, Chan's form laying on the bed peacefully, still deeply asleep.

I quietly stepped in, the door closing with a soft click behind me. My eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden darkness as I blinked several times, the shuffling form of the young boy soon clear in the room.

He went back to bed and looked at me, a silent question sitting in his gaze. I shook my head, opting to instead sit in his squishy chair that sat on the ground in a corner.

No other word was uttered, but the silence was comfortable. Like a soft fabric of comfort as it lulled us back to sleep -oh, just like a blanket, i get it now-.

I stared at the dark ceiling for a while, the soft snores of the others filling my ears. Soon enough my eyelids felt heavy, consciousness drifting away into the land of dreams and peace. The empty feeling settled down a bit, its presence now only at the back of my mind.

-.-

Soft murmurs woke me up, the room feeling warm and comforting. The scent of a pine forest mixed with sugar wafted in the air; it curled around me like a comforting presence, bringing a small smile to my lips.

The murmurs stopped and I stretched out, head popping up from the squishy chair to look at the two males on the bed.

Chan had a phone in his lowering hand with a smile plastered onto his face, while Felix just giggled, waving at me.

"Good morning baby. How was your sleep?" - the wolf's pleasant voice asked, deeper than usual as sleep still clung to it slightly.

I only nodded back, hand still rubbing the sleep from my eyes with little success.

"I still can't believe how you can just fit on that bean bag like that. And you even looked like you had the best sleep in the whole house!" - laughed out Felix as my cheeks felt a tad bit hotter at his comment. "I think it's cute, but do come sit with us, it's comfier up here." - Chan cooed, hand patting the blanket near him.

My lips pursed, ears tilting slightly behind, but I complied and sat at the end of the bed, gaze not meeting their forms as my cheeks still felt warm.

"How’s your arm, baby?"

I looked at the limb in question, the cast weighing it down. My lips turned down at the mere thought of it. I found the thing incredibly annoying and frustrating. I couldn't do things freely as it sat heavily there and I couldn't even enjoy baths anymore like how I used to -fully submerged in water-. This stupid thing was driving me nuts.

"Irritating. When can it be free?" - my husky voice answered, slightly better sounding from the little talking I had done lately.

"Ah, the doc did say it should be checked on again soon." "Yep, today to be exact."

My eyes widened as I whipped my head towards Chan, form tensing. Before I could do anything more, he held up his hands and explained in panic.

"No, no, don't worry, it will be different. He will only come in a few hours and you can choose to take some calming medicine or not. The choice is up to you entirely. The doc only needs to check how you are healing and if everything's good, he might even be able to take your cast off."

Looking into their eyes, I could only see sincerity. My form relaxed a bit, mind running around with choices.

I really didn't want to meet a human, but the chance to get this thing off was too great to ignore.

Fuck.

Sighing, I slowly nodded.

Their expressions eased up at that, the little leopard hovering his hand above mine. I didn't move away, the void in my chest happy as the feline gently grasped onto my limb.

The atmosphere settled back into its previous serene self, the two hybrids chatting calmly with each other. I had to give credit to them, they tried their best to get me involved as well so I gave them short answers, my hurting throat letting me do only so much.

As I watched them animatedly speak I caught a whiff of a savoury scent in the air, my stomach gently gurgling in response. The two chuckled at that, but I cared not as I stood up and waited for them by the door.

"Yes yes, we’re coming." - said the wolf, his tone light and teasing.

The leopard bundled up next to me energetically, his spotted tail playfully curling around in place as we waited for the older canine.

Finally gathered together, I opened the door and hastily walked into the big room from the hallway, Minho's back facing us.

The others greeted each other loudly and sat at the table to chat, all the while I made my way to the cooking cat, hovering behind his busy form like usual.

I could hear the others whisper about us, about me, things like 'He looks so cute, like a lost puppy following its parent.', but it didn't bother me at the moment. I was too busy watching Minho work his magic, the air smelling delicious.

His hands worked precisely with the knife, ingredients cut perfectly into the shapes he desired. The pans and pots were filled up and moved over the fire, then quickly pulled off once their contents were ready and done. He danced around the kitchen with scary efficiency, hands knowing exactly where to reach for certain ingredients or equipment.

Being done, he plated the food and asked me to help bring them over to the table, so I did. I must have been too absorbed in watching the chestnut-haired feline work, because Changbin was already back at the table in a fresh set of clothes, the air around him smelling clean with a hint of menthol. I quickly greeted him with an apology as well, but he just shrugged it aside calmly, saying it was fine.

Leaving it at that, I put the plates down and sat in my place, the colourful presence of the medicines not escaping my gaze. They sat there beside my glass of water clearly, forms not hidden at all.

I really did have the choice.

My working hand clenched around itself, my jaw firm. While the medicine did remind me of the past, it also did not. The ones they used were plain, usually white or worse, in the form of an injection. These ones were yellow and red, colours blaringly loud and playful in a way.

Turning my gaze towards the warm food, I forced my body to relax a bit, wanting to focus on eating as I rethought my choices and decision.

My ears turned towards whoever was speaking -more like shouting and bickering- as I ate , a silent participant of the conversation. I was much more comfortable just seeing them fool around, stealing each other's food -never mine though, how strange- and laughing around like fools.

Happy fools.

The chopsticks gently clanked against the plate as I finished eating. My hands played with the pills before quickly popping them into my mouth, forcing them down with some water.

The effect wasn't immediate at all, no, that was instead the silence as the others stared at me. I just raised an eyebrow at that, not understanding, since they were the ones who put them there.

"Ooh, this will be interesting." - Minho said with a smirk crawling onto his lips, hand already equipping his phone. "No!" - I shouted, reaching over but missing as he moved the object away way too quickly.

I quickly stood up to reach his hand better, but the walls were already moving and my balance was shifting rapidly. I held my head, groaning, the eye I didn't cover up shifting as the world around me moved and writhed.

I quickly sat back down, a curse leaving my lips as I just laid my forehead on the table, covering my head up with my arms.

"Hyung, you're fine. Don't hide." - sang the deep voice of Felix. I merely tightened my hold, not trusting what came out of my mouth as my head started filling up with cotton, judgement already starting to leave my form.

"Felix, you know well enough that's a lie." - snickered Minho at my expense. "Yes, but come on mate! Don't be such a meanie!" "Oh I’m not. I would be, if I put these videos up onto the internet. Now that I say it, that’s a good idea." "Guys, calm down. Nobody puts anything anywhere.  Sigh  I worded that wrong…"

Amidst the chaos, I looked up and searched for the only quiet person, asking him for help with the last of my coherent thoughts. "Don't look at me, I quite enjoyed how you praised my biceps last time." That was his only answer with a big grin, cheeks splitting apart from the bright smile that sat upon his face. What a menace.

I let my head fall back against the table, the cutlery clanking loudly against each other and partly masking the groan that left my lips. The pressure it brought to my skull did little to help with the ache and numbness.

There it was, the fog over my brain, the disgustingly good mood taking control over the place against my wishes.

I looked up from the table, chin propped up on it as my eyes followed the swirling patterns in the room, various shapes drawing out in them with every passing second. Someone ruffled my hair, the action earning a delighted sound from my throat, tail swaying happily behind me.

Looking around after taking a deep breath that drew a small smile on my face, I saw the others standing up and leaving towards the sofa. Not wanting to be left out, I followed them, falling onto Binnie who laid on the plush surface. He laughed and wiggled around until he found a comfortable enough position with me laying on top of his much smaller form.

Our legs were picked up and placed onto Minho's lap, while Chan and Felix sat on his other side, all snuggled up. I could feel a tickling sensation on my foot, causing me to wiggle around and whine. The perpetrator -Chan, of course it was him- only giggled, not leaving my poor feet alone for a good minute or so. Felix joined in at some point, that little weasel.

After having recovered from the impromptu tickle session, I relaxed back into a comfortable position -to my defence, Binnie was surprisingly comfortable-. My tail laxly laid on the chocolate-coated feline's knees, twitching as he put a hand on the back of my knee. I thought nothing of it and buried my head into Binnie's chest, the position dangerously pleasant.

Lino's hand kept moving upwards throughout the movie, now resting on my thigh. I flicked up my tail in warning, his hand stopping in place.

A blaring sound rang throughout the house, one I was vaguely familiar with.

Sniffing the air, I picked up a human's scent and my fogged up mind reminded me that the doctor had arrived at last. I completely forgot about it in the euphoria of the moment.

Feeling the hybrid shifting around under me, I tightened my hold, not wanting to get up just yet. Or at all, really.

"Bae hyung, you have to get up. The doctor's here." "Well he can check me over like this."

Laughter filled the place as Binnie sputtered, but settled back down nonetheless. Pink dusted his cheeks, round little ears lowered in embarrassment and I couldn’t help myself, I just had to reach up and pet one of them. Just for a little bit.

Sure enough, the doctor didn't put up a fight when he saw my hold on the buff male. He checked as much as he could of my injuries, my shirt pushed up to my neck as he prodded around on my back. I only felt numb pulling sometimes, something cool spreading around my skin, the air not hitting it anymore as something was placed on top of it at several places. 

But then the human asked me to sit up and my serene mood was broken, Binnie's hand stopping from painting soft circles into my arm. I simply turned my head away, not willing to change positions.

"Baby, come here."

At that soothing voice I looked up, seeing Channie pat the place next to him on the sofa. I sat up after a few seconds, sitting where he wanted me to and leaning into him.

The doctor followed my form and first looked at my head. It was uncomfortable to have him so near me, to have him push my hair away slightly. Doing something similar to what he did to my back, he then asked me to open my mouth. I furrowed my brows, but complied anyway.

If him prodding around my head was uncomfortable, this was straight up hell. He looked down my throat and even touched around my neck, checking my reactions. The only reason I stayed put with a frown was because of Channie and Felix with their small, encouraging gestures.

"Keep up what you've been doing so far, his throat is looking a bit better. Given time, it can completely recover." - the human said, earning a few 'Okay's from the others.

Then the human took my heavy arm in his hands, asking questions like 'Does it hurt?' or 'Is it uncomfortable?'. I shook my head in answer, the thing on it only annoying and binding.

In the next second the wolf led my head into his neck, careful fingers carding through my hair, as my sight was obstructed now. The notion was sudden, but I relished in it nonetheless.

A weird sound filled the air as I felt things shift around my arm, but I was too comfortable to move or care. His scent filled my being and I could feel my form running around in the moss covered trees, dirt kicking up beneath my paws. It felt freeing, as if I had nothing to worry about.

"There, his arm is completely healed and as good as new. But to be safe, make sure he doesn't use it as much for the next week." "Thank you doctor, we will make sure to do so." - his voice hummed through his throat pleasantly in response. "Don't be so uptight boys, I don't bite. You can be casual around me if you want to, you already know that." - the human joked around, some of the others joining in.

"Ah, but we do need to do what we talked about last time. Could you…?"

The human trailed off and so did the soothing motion from the wolf. I lifted my head up from his shoulder, confusedly looking at him with my swimming vision.

"Ah, don't worry baby, everything is fine. Why don't you sit in my lap, that way you don't have to twist your torso around so uncomfortably."

He did have a point, so my fogged up, elated mind happily agreed and did as he asked. I crawled into his awaiting embrace, body sideways, one leg propped up and squished between our bodies. My back hunched and bent so I could rest my head near his neck once again, but even with all of that, it was comfortable.

Safe.

One of his hands held my back firmly, the other resuming the soothing motion on my head. I was vaguely aware of my tail happily wagging around, the others settling down around us as well.

I buried my head deeper into his neck, their scents dancing around in my nose and enhancing my drugged up state.

I felt one of my sleeves shift, a prickling sensation on my skin. Something poked around in my mind, telling me it was awfully familiar, but I didn't know why, the fog too obstructing. Nonetheless, I wanted to check it out but as my head shifted, so did Channie's hold on me.

It tightened slightly, desperately, the forest now damp and in disarray.

I didn't like that at all, so I laid back down as I ignored the second sting on my arm, the forest’s scent settling down slowly.

It took around 6 stings and for my tail to stop swaying for the doctor to finish.

"Alright boys, I will come back in a month to finish this up and check if his back and head is still healing fine. So far he’s healing up incredibly fast and nothing seems wrong, so don't worry. If something comes up, you know how to reach me."

They all thanked him and exchanged goodbyes, everyone escorting the human away except Channie, as I was still laying in his hold calmly.

My body felt a bit sluggish, consciousness trying to dip away as I had to jank it back forcefully, not wishing to sleep just yet. Although my cosy position was not helping with that sudden exhaustion either, the safe feeling almost lulling me to sleep in itself.

"Is he asleep?" "Naur, but soon enough. The medicines must’ve really tired him out." "He seemed tired already this morning, he really needs this rest." "Ah, is that why you knocked on our door for him this morning, Binnie?" "Yeah, caught him standing there for like 3 minutes straight, staring at your door. He looked like a small kid that had a nightmare." "Wait, you guys had a sleepover and I was not invited?" "Oh come on Minho, don't do this now. Besides, you dislike them and always complain about being kicked or having your blanket stolen." "Because it's true! How would you like to wake up cold, kicked to the ground, hm?" "Oh you fucki–" "Hey, language!" "Watch your profanity!" "Oh you got the swear police on your ass now, Lixie~" "I swear to god, Minho, I will get you back for this!"

Their arguing mixed with Channie's reverberating chest pushed me over the edge, my mind plunging into darkness at last.

-.-.-

The next few days ran by as I refused to acknowledge what had happened or what I could have done while drugged out of my mind. I did notice my hand was free at least, so maybe it was all worth it. Although everyone kept a closer eye on me, not letting me use my freed up hand much. Or at all, really.

It was stifling.

But it was also weird. Foreign. I was alone for so long, I had forgotten what it felt like to have people beside you. People who cared about you. So as frustrating as it was, I only sighed deeply and followed their wishes.

Besides, the wolf was the one who had been watching me the closest, and I did not want to anger him. The thought alone made me break out in cold sweat.

A bundle of joy broke me out of my thoughts, the little leopard stopping directly in front of me.

"Hyung, do you want to play this new game I got? Everyone else declined, only giving me lame excuses."

Awh, he pouted.

I simply nodded with a small smile, letting his overjoyed self lead me out by my 'good' hand.

"Lix, he can't really use his hand, mate!" - Chan shouted from the kitchen. "No worries, it's a wii game, it can be played with only one hand!" - shouted back the blonde, my ears hurting from the loud voice. "Ah, sorry, I forgot." - he immediately whispered to me, guilt taking over his features.

I simply shook my head, grating out an 'It's fine.' in the process.

Soon enough I found myself in his room -he always shared it with someone, but so did the others, i noticed, as they often slept in a big pile of limbs all together-, instructed to sit on his bed while he got this 'game' thing set up. I had no clue what it was, but he looked so happy about it I just couldn't say no to him.

He plopped down next to me, a thing similar to the remote sat in his hands, eyes facing towards the TV in his room. Looking at it, the colours stopped shifting and some music started playing.

Lixie turned towards me, the smile on his face seemingly endless as he started pointing out the different parts of this remote. What 'button' did what and so on. I nodded along, trying my best to remember the onslaught of information.

Then, he pressed START and the 'game' began.

-.-

"Nooooooo, how’s this possible?? You just learned what a video game is 3 hours ago and you already beat me 11 times in a row! Hyung, you're cheating!" - the boy pouted, absolutely losing his mind over the situation. "... Sorry?" "That just makes it even worse, you didn't even do it on purpose! Aaagh, damn it!"

The cute leopard held his hair in frustration, angry little noises leaving his smaller form. His spotted tail was lashing out, but still playful to indicate his hidden mood.

He was adorable, I wanted to hug him.

My form froze, muscles tense.

What did I just think about?

Looking back at the young boy's form, the same urge bubbled up now tenfold. 

I gulped.

It would be fine.

He was not them, nor him.

He was just Lixie, my sunshine and comforting light.

Yes, it would be fine. I… would be fine.

My shaking hands slowly rose, snaking their way towards the boy sitting slightly in front of me. They grabbed onto his thin -way too thin- waist and slowly dragged him into my chest, arms locking him in place gently. His sputtering and shouting died midway, form utterly tense and frozen.

Maybe he didn't like it.

I panicked, arms quickly unwinding, but before I could fully detach myself, he laid back into me with all his weight, quiet little purrs reverberating in his chest. His tail coiled around one of my legs, a silent disagreement against my doubts.

It was fine.

I was fine.

So, I carefully tightened my hold on him with slightly shaking arms, one of them finding its way into his golden locks, numbly playing with them as a distraction. God, they were incredibly smooth and silky, my fingers sailing through them easily. The purrs only strengthened, the notion calming and reassuring, filling up the void residing in my chest rapidly at last.

We just laid there even as the feline's breathing slowed, soft snores breaking his neverending purring. Even as my eyelids felt heavy and my body laid against the upper part of the bed, I fought fruitlessly against sleep.

I wanted to enjoy the moment just a bit longer.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅⋅•⋅⋅⋅•∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

next chapter

[craziechwiv]

Dandy's World: Survivor of Ichor (Preview)

-A small snippet of one of my new chapters of my own take on a Dandy's World AU-

"Dandicus." Astro said coldly, awaiting an answer. As he said that name, slow applauds followed by the same pair of footsteps he heard made their presence known, as the Toon of the hour revealed himself with that weird, creepy grin he seems to always have plastered on his face. "What are you doing here."

"What? Can't a Toon just go out for a leisurely walk to clear his mind?" Dandy said innocently, already teasing Astro's patience and it showed. "It's mighty dangerous up there, you know, with all those nasty Twisteds up there? Attacking without reason, and such."

"Yeah, and who's at fault for them being created in the first place?" Astro said back, not trying to fall for Dandy's games. "If all you wanted to do was to belittle me and be cocky, we can end it here and not say a word about meeting the other."

"Aw c'mon, that's such a lame joke. You and I both know that's bullshit." Dandy replied back, leaning on a nearby box. "Considering close you and that robotic homewrecker have been getting, you're probably already working out a way to tell them about our little meet n' greet, right?"

"...So what if I am?" Astro said, not unwavering at Dandy's demeanor change.

"I'm just saying, not hinting on anything yet, but just saying; you wouldn't want to lose THREE important people in your life, right?" Dandy asked with a smirk. "Because trust me, Vee I don't care for as much to deal with now. But that other person you and her have been keeping safe? Oh, maybe I can use her as leverage to get my Moon-"

"STOP." Astro shouted, making Dandy stop with his threat as Astro just pinched his eyes together. "Don't, call me that. You lost that right to do so when you did all this, and you don't even get the right to use it in one of your empty threats. Leave me and Vee alone Dandy, it's over."

Astro was about to keep on walking, leaving Dandy dumbfounded and stunned for the moment. But if Astro knew one thing about him, he's one to always get the final talk in. No matter how brutal the outcome it may be for the other part receiving it.

"No, no. This isn't where it was over Astro dear. It was over when you switched sides and turned against me!" Dandy shouted, having Astro turned around to face him again. "If you just listened to me explain the situation I WAS IN, maybe you'd understand it. But no! You just had to be cautious and anxious, and so damn annoying!"

"Wha-"

"NO! ENOUGH OUTTA YOU!" Dandy stopped Astro from speaking, still going on his tangent. "If you really wanna know my true intentions, it was to see if you had any doubts if your own investigation was the right choice. But I guess not. Since I'm guilty of causing this whole thing? Sure, so what if I am?! BUT IF I'M IN CHARGE OF STARTING IT, YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF GETTING THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE KILLED!"

-Read it: here-

[eddysocs]

Okay I'm captivated by Hyacinth Dumond. Why did she run away, and what makes her realize she can never go back? What makes her earn her place in Maleficent's heart? Any random headcanons welcome ♥︎

You act like I have anything for Hyacinth planned and I’m not just thriving off of mystery and vibes. 😝

For real though, she’s one of the OCs where I don’t have a lot of actual plot to go off of, so watch me make it up in real time as I type this. (It’s where I do my best work, tbh).

She ran off due to a siege on her castle. A major celebration was taking place before the attack and she’s scared to go back, fearing that the rest of her family didn’t make it out, or that her kingdom has been overthrown completely and she won’t have a home or a family to go back to. Of course, she doesn’t immediately confess all of this to Maleficent or Aurora. Once she does, however, Maleficent goes to survey her homeland, and finds it in ruins. No information on her family, but her home is essentially gone.

And this is what first endears Maleficent towards her. She sympathizes with Hyacinth's fear and grief over losing something so important to her and so she attempts to give her a real home in the Moors. Though Hyacinth had initially reacted to her in fear, she quickly changes her opinion, and Maleficent becomes a comforting presence to her and she never treats her like she’s some evil creature as so many have in the past. They understand each other's differences, acknowledge them, but don’t let them put a barrier between them, which, I guess, ultimately leads them to being perfect for one another.

(All of that made up completely on the spot. I don’t know if you’re impressed, but I sure am.)

Have a question about one of my OCs? My ask box is always open to any questions.

[aldoodles]

Hi! It's me again. The crazy person who was incoherently yelling about the utter serendipity of stumbling across your page.

You mentioned being curious about how I got here, so I figured the least I could do after dumping THAT in your Ask Box was explain myself: I was looking into the Mysterious Benedict Society tag several months ago, and when I saw your art I nearly started screaming because it's just SO GOOD. The colours and shapes and details and literally everything about it filled me with so much joy on the spot, and I was immediately obsessed with your art, which led to me clicking on your art tag at the speed of light.

AND THAT led me to being even more astounded by your skills and the kind of masterpieces you produce (The first thing I saw was a more ambiguous kind of landscape piece), and then having a heart attack as soon as I saw the tags and learned that NOT ONLY was it HTTYD art, BUT IT WAS THE BOOKS. I'D NEVER SEEN ANYONE DO FANART FOR THE BOOKS BEFORE. AND IT WAS SO GOOD???? LIKE IF I HAD THE MONEY I'D PAY FOR YOU TO ILLUSTRATE THE WHOLE SERIES

Cue me going completely insane and then finding out you did stuff for TUC??? I'd nearly forgotten those books, but your art reminded me how invested/terrified I was. Not to mention all of the other insanely fantastic work you've done for other things and how I just want to eat all of your art in the most positive way possible. It's so gorgeous. It's so Texture. It's vastly impressive and just makes my brain so excited and gets my imagination to take off. Your art is an inspiration whenever I feel stuck in life.

AND THEN. AND THEN I FOUND OUT YOU WRITE FIC. And I would have read everything in the span of a couple hours if I hadn't had to stop and sob every few seconds because YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD AUTHOR!!!!!! But also because you really understand the characters (Of the fandoms I'm in, but I'm sure you are just as talented in everything else).

And now I am a constant lurking presence on your blog, highly enjoying any and all thoughts/work you choose to share, and hoping you know how much you are appreciated. Because let me just tell you!!!! You are GREATLY appreciated at all hours of the day :)

(I'm sorry I keep leaving these long, wacky rambles in your Ask Box like a lunatic. I really wanted to tell you how amazing I think you are, but my anxiety's been being dumb so I figured this was the best way to get my message across)

This is seriously the kindest thing omg thank you so much!!

I love creating for the obscure fandoms I am invested in, so it’s really nice to hear that other people enjoy my doodles and fic :o) !!