#I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE YOU'
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I find it so fucking funny how when I was in my undertale phases, like everyone, Sans was my favorite character, now I CAN'T FUCKING STAND HIM. LIKE. HOOOOOHHHOHOHOHOHH I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH. I GET SO VISUALLY ANGRY WHEN HE'S ON THE SCREEN THAT IT MAKES ME LOWKEY HATE THE GAME BUT I GOTTA GO BACK BECAUSE I'M A COMPLETIONIST.
#I LOOK AT SANS AND JUST#'I HATE YOU#I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH#I WANT TO RIP OUT YOUR NONEXISTENT LUNGS#I DESPISE YOU#I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE YOU'#Imma be honest it's probably how because I always got/still do get compared to his fangirls when I'm being a harlot for characters-- 😭#By the way#If you hate selfshippers#I hope you grow as a person#Because it's such scummy behavior#Let people have fun#Don't be a judgmental dick#Because there is someone behind that screen when you spew your judgmental venom#And they do get hurt#I would know#I've been on the receiving end#It absolutely sucks and really can damage a person#Sans fangirls are childish yes but jesus fucking christ let people have fun#I know when I played Oni I got hella possessive and protective over Momotarou#That was actually the reason I hated Mirotarou at first!#As we know I now adore them#But I was incredibly possessive when I was a baby player and realized I loved him#So yea#Anti-self shippers#Please grow as a person#And if not#Please fuck off#Because I'm a positive safe space and literally have an alt acc for people to have fun and selfship#People shouldn't be ashamed or judged over loving a fictional character
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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?
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September got me acting like this already
#wearing a jumper and a scarf for the first time again. the world is healing actually#you don’t understand the absolute loathing I harbour for summer. can’t wait to never sweat again#mine#paul mccartney#the beatles#john lennon#george harrison#ringo starr#beatles#classic rock#richard starkey
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😏🤟😁🤳
#han jisung#forhanji#stray kids#lee know#linosource#dancerachasource#bystay#staydaily#m*#gifs#skz talker#minho#skz talker lighting i absolutely loath you#free gifset cause i want this out of my drafts 👍
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I got tagged by the beautiful @autumns-veil to post 5 songs I've had on repeat recently 🖤🖤
These were the first 5 songs on my repeat playlist on Spotify 😅 It's been a while since I did an ask game, uh... no pressure tagging: @lifemod17 @stellasplendens @loveinthemindpalace @moonchild-in-blue and anyone else 🖤 show me some cool music
#tag game#if you eepy babes haven't listened to any of the new flower face yet#you definitely should#cat's cradle is feeding my delusions send help#also that loathe song?#11/10 an absolute banger#i should have gone to see them at sick new world 😩#somebody take me on a vacation date to europe/the uk so we can go see loathe together#Spotify
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The fact that Angela provided an answer so good that everyone immediately knew it was right + Amanda didn't even know it was the right answer but chose it anyway is already great. But this whole round is made even better by the fact that Angela, WITH IT AS HER ANSWER, keeps emphasizing how baffling Amanda's inexplicable deep seated hatred for Vanessa Lachey is and how this is something that's just. Known. between them.
Like we already knew they failed to watch the Love Is Blind Reunion together bc of how much Amanda hates Vanessa Lachey so Angela's descriptions and her baffled "i just. have never seen amanda hate anyone." "she's not that bad" "SHE IS" speaks so much to the conversations they've clearly already had about this exact subject. And its funny as hell.
#smosh#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#shayne topp#tommy bowe#what would amanda do#bffism: sometimes your friend chooses to die on a hill and you know intimately about it even if you do not understand it at all#amangela#video#her vanessa lachey impression is. Terrifying.#but listen everyone should get a petty thing to absolutely loathe. i think its healthy.
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self love
do not tag this as a ship please
#made this in an hour after washing my hair#they need hugs so bad#todd and leo. what do i even say#it’s been a journey for them. of self-loathing and destructive ideallism#but todd forgives#he forgives himself#they’re also not naked im just tired. think of it as their entire being supporting one another#and hey we recodnize people by the face anyways#which is interesting because both todd and leo have the same face…#imogen heap#flipaclip#gif#animation gif#awesomeanimating#screenscribbles#<< i made this in under an hour somehow. absolute cooked with the hands#thank you if-you-heart for tutoring me briefly on the subject and to my brain for retaining the info like water in a desert#unsure about whole’s chosen name todd right now. feels too direct and personal. hmm#chonny jash#cccclinic#cj whole#cj soul#whole cj#soul cj#chonny jash whole#chonny jash soul#whole chonny jash#soul chonny jash#cccclinic todd#cccclinic leo
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Absolute Martian Manhunter isn't real and I made it all up
haha but for real I think from now on I'll just be ignoring everything to do with Absolute MM. I'm seeing this pattern where I tend to latch onto a nostalgic kind of niche thing and I get so excited when my interest is getting new media so I can finally be a fan of something ongoing and current! But then I get massively disappointed in it but everyone else is a fan of it- and it makes fandom isolating and difficult for me to interact with (like with maws). So I'll be treating Absolute MM as a fanon I disagree with, scroll away and move on. When it's out next year I'll read it and be its harshest critic.
But for now I just don't want this comic to bum me out and take up my brain space. It's silly that the Absolute MM news made me so sad but,,, he's my favorite guy ever, way more than Superman. I can't engage with a piece of media that tosses away all of that to give us re-packaged Venom But Green. I've always been open to out-there elseworld takes, I've been capable of enjoying J'onn in CW Supergirl or J'onn in Orlando and Rossmo's 2019 series, heck I even enjoy plenty of J'onn in his edgy new 52 take. This Absolute take is just a whole other character to me, one that isn't creative enough to take on any of Martian lore in interesting ways.
#ramblings#perhaps I was too harsh on you new 52 Martian Manhunter haha. but fr I'm capable of seeing the merits of all these takes#I know other MM fans loathe Orlando's take but I can step back and recognize this is someone who cares about J'onn-#-even if I disagree with some of his decisions! But Absolute MM just isn't that. It's like Bats without Gotham. J'onn without Mars.#just not sensing the love for J'onn in this pitch. it's a J'onn skinsuit to hide your FBI Venom oc take
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HE COULDN’T THINK OF ANY FACTS.
Hyperfixation and passion got married and are taking care of all of the interests! Elias’ brain is just absolutely flooded with dopamine right now, it’s the BEST.
“A strong sense of pleasure slightly tempered by conscience sounds pretty fun.” Trapp is always 100% correct. My god this man is so quick and talented. More Trapp on D20 2kforever.
Conscience understanding the place self-loathing can come from and shrinking it back into more helpful “you fucked up but you’re going to fix it” guilt, accountability. Goddamn seriously self-loathing evolving from guilt Brennan you’re a goddamn genius.
Impulse and hyper vigilance have gotten divorced and remarried 17 times at least already, you can’t convince me otherwise.
Way to go, Elias. I knew you could do it, buddy.
#mentopolis#dimension 20#his passion for ice skating returned#he’s discovering new kinks#he’s a ~dashing hero~#he’s nurturing long lost interests#his sense of self loathing is the guilt you need to keep you accountable#he’s paying more attention to what really matters#and he’s letting his curiosity figure things out rather than lackeys for ambition#I imagine ambition has been released but is now being heavily monitored#and greed is probably not actually dead but certainly laying low for now#HOW WAS THIS ENTIRE SEASON ABSOLUTELY PERFECT#WHAT DARK RITUAL HATH BEEN PERFORMED#actually wait the man is a whistle blower#hyper vigilance being in an on again off again relationship with impulse makes PERFECT SENSE#EVERYTHING WAS ALREADY PERFECT HOW DID IT GET MORE PERFECT#this season might count as a form of therapy
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I'll never be over Sally calling her own son a dreadful child or saying she should've ended him before he was even born. I don't give a single flying fuck about the crimes he's committed (at least in this context). Nobody should talk about their child like that. And you know this absolutely vile woman probably told him this and much worse shit straight to his face. She said all that shit to a small kid that was presumably still innocent at that point. Aka, she most likely told her child it would be better if he were dead. Aka, she told her kid to kill himself. A FUCKING CHILD. And thx to the Belladonna lying around in their kitchen, I'm still convinced she tried to kill Gortash once he came back.
'Sold him cuz they needed money' my ass. You made your own kid, the person you were supposed to protect, pay for your own fuck ups and debts and mistakes and send him straight to hell. LITERALLY. FOR SOMETHING HE HAD NO FAULT IN. AND THEN THIS THING HAD THE AUDACITY TO TRY ND KILL HIM.
The absolute hatred and disgust I have for this fictional woman. I despise Bhaals A+ parenting, but this woman is worse than the fucking lord of murder. Imagine being more loathsome than an evil deity whose whole bit is goddamm murder and death. I swear to fucking god-
#also corpses cant lie#and she says that shit when you use speak with the dead#so she was 1000% convinced of this bullshit#hate isnt a strong enough word to describe my opinion of her#absolutely vile despicable woman#its cool to regret shit but dont fucking tell it to your kids face you prick#and dont make upur fucking child pay for your sins#i genuinely just loathe her so much istfg#bg3#bg3 spoilers#enver gortash#bg3 gortash#lord gortash#sally flymm#sorry but i needed to vent#how can i kill fictional characters?#id call her a monster#but that would be an insult to all monsters out there#i generally think everyone deserves (a chance for) forgiveness#but im 2000% serious when im saying this#i hope this wretched thing burns in fucking hell#and this comes from someone who can pity the likes of gortash orin raphael a!a etc#fuck you sally flymm
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If a ghost says it, you have to do it.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#If you squint hard enough you can tell when this one was 'supposed' to come out.#comic break aside - It is nice to have a good buffer again!#did anyone else play around with spirits at sleepovers or hangout with your friends/cousins/siblings?#I had many a night in a dark forest with a cloak and flashlight (candles not allowed)#someone always takes the role of 'I am the sensitive spirit medium and you have to do as the ghost says'#in yunmeng sibling terms that was probably wwx. JYL went with it for fun but JC absolutely believed it and *loathed* it#Anyways. When you're the prankster you definitely get sensitive for people trying to pull the same tricks on you.#I think LWJ absolutely would be cheeky enough to pull a 'ghost said so' on WWX or the juniors#But not when he's on the clock. Work comes first and he's not going to play around.#He'd opt to play his guqin on the porch while he waits for wwx to come home and when wwx compliments his song he'd be like:#“Actually it was the spirit haunting the place. It says we have to kiss for it to be appeased”#and of course wwx is like “damn if the ghost says so I gotta.” because they area awful like that
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dick owners who are bodily able and living in an enviromentally capable conditions to flush toilets in a shared bathroom but don't,
fuck you 🖕🏻
#rin rambles#cw vent#cw unhygienic descriptions#delete later#you are disgusting. period.#i absolutely loathe these lind of inconsiderate people jesus fucking christ how low of an eq do you have#unhygienic incapable fucker i am so tired of going to bathrooms and finding piss and shit i hope the rest of your week suck#what are you? dogs? even dogs have the decency to try and bury their shit and piss. you're worse than dogs#i'm sorry i'm just so angry i've been putting up with this for months now and i'm just so fucking tired and disgusted#gods i want a studio apartment all to myself so bad but they're so obscenely expensive *and* small#i just want to go home.#just let me go home. please. please.
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the prototypical child and or grown man who greatly misinterprets fight club has a preternatural hold on most tumblr fight clubber's minds and i think it's time we all let it go... firstly if you're imagining a 13 year old please realize that dunking on 13 year olds because they have bad critical reading skills is more and more pathetic the older you get. secondly even if these people exist they're not on tumblr and will not be disturbed by your actions because they'll never see them. thirdly, defining yourself and your interpretation in Opposition to another without taking care to understand why that interpretation developed beyond 'well they're just evil' will only leave you cut off from people. it is better even, to understand exactly why they think terrible things, what leads them to it, than to just dismiss it and position yourself as the good to their bad guy, defined by doing whatever you consider opposite. fourthly? fourth? using 'this movie is GAY and or liked by women actually, ooga booga, you're gonna HATE that hahaha' as an argument reinforces the idea that these things are stigmatized and things they should hate, and even contributes to the (very flawed) perception that these things are 'stealing' from them, and once again reinforces negativity. it's pointless. certainly, write your analyses and reference the interpretation, even analyze it, but take care to consider whether you're acting on solid ground or performing against an unpresent bogeyman for the cheers of your peers, and consider whether you want to gain cred by shitting on others, even if it's the conceptual ghost of a shit person.
#fight club#do i dislike the interpretation? absolutely. do i loathe some of the people who interpret it that way? yep. have i written about why i#consider that interpretation flawed? yep#but it's important to keep in mind 1. people don't set out to be Evil. it can be more helpful to think about what encourages people to#follow certain paths rather than just assume its some inherent evil or evil goal#additionally many people who have the tumblr interpretation are not necessarily 'better' per se. in particular solely defining yourself as#an opposite leaves you open to callousness and missing things#anyway. once again being Too Intense
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I am screaming here!!! The UNRELIABLE NARRATOR!
THE DENT! THAT FREAKING DENT! THAT COFFIN DENT!
It drove me crazy in season one! I was like....No, what is that? Is it abstract art of something? I could not understand it!
And during that scene in S1, the part where Louis was reassuring Claudia that everything was alright and it was over and NOW IT MAKES SENSE!
And the timeline is so screwed up in Louis head because MEMORY IS THE MONSTER and he remembered throwing Lestat's old coffin on the road and it was meant to be such a monumental moment for him and the BLACK COFFIN PREDATED IT! THE DENT WAS THERE!
My mind is just exploding right now! It makes sense, the dent!
I can't believe there is only one episode left and I can't believe that it may even give us MORE INSIGHT or ANOTHER TWIST because this is not over yet.
And do not let me start on the rock garden...DO NOT!
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#spoilers#THE COFFIN DENT YOU GUYS#THE COFFIN DENT#I need to go fucking rewatch!!!!#I need to rewatch season 1 again at this point#UGHHHH WHY IS THIS SHOW SO GOOD!#Also I love and I hate AND I LOVE AND I HATE AND I ADORE AND I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE SANTIAGO#Also...Armand you gaslighting manipulative BITCH
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s2 episode 9 thoughts
whew! i had a busy day so it's nice to unwind with some scully and mulder time. although by the end of the episode i didn't feel very unwound tbh. it was still time spent with the babygirls, so i can't complain.
so we start with some volcano research. my only note here was "i know a geologist" which is true! shoutout to my one professor. you were chill but i hated that class.
there's a dead guy in the volcano which tbh doesn't seem too surprising... i mean volcanoes are very deadly. but it seems to be one of the dudes involved with the project so that's weird because why would he go down there?
there's this stream going on of the inside volcano and something is disrupting it... hate to see a streamer interrupted :(
then we had the title sequence but for some reason i was wondering, do you think if they got married they'd hyphenate their names... scully-mulder... mulder-scully... does it roll off the tongue? hmm...
so firewalker (the title of our episode) is a robot that goes into the volcano. noted.
here i wrote "holy fuck scully is beautiful". all she was doing was standing there but man.
the scientist who has come to them requesting help is like, this lead scientist named trepkos started this project, and scully says "i always heard he was brilliant", which raises the question: why is scully keeping up with volcano science? nerd
at this point the visiting scientist was explaining how he and trepkos had a professional breakup kinda thing and i'm very sorry for them but i genuinely could not take my eyes off of scully. hope they work it out or whatever. i have bigger priorities.
she wants to get out there and investigate but mulder says "i don't think it's a good idea for you to go" AUGHHH. i am wailing and tearing my shirt. she says that she's fine!!! really!!!
and he has this look on his face that says "i cannot tell this woman what to do, even after she just woke up from a coma, and i never will be able to" and he's very right in that regard
HELICOPTER TIME! mulder is such a gentleman helping her climb out
she has very messy hair at this point and the scientist seems a lot more concerned about his equipment than the fate of the people trapped inside the compound and she seems so thrown off by this
next we have some BIG ASS FLASHLIGHTS!!!! WOOHOO
at this point i made a note that i think i might have been going feral because mulder also looked SO good prowling around that creepy base. and i don't take back my observation but i will psychoanalyze it a bit later. reluctantly.
a creepy dude is hanging around the corner. OH SHOOT he tries to bash mulder's head in and he is MAD "do you always greet people this way?" LMAOOO he took it personally
the other scientists in the base seem to regard the missing trepkos as a threat... hmm...
i really like this jesse character, who is a student and is here to do some research with her advisor
mulder asks for the data on the research trepkos has been doing and she says he destroyed his field journals and computer discs. ahh, computer discs. my old friends. i used to have some games on discs when i was a kid. positive memories.
mulder sees scribbled in some of the notes trepkos didn't destroy that he had written about a "new life form" which honestly kinda happens a lot. like people are always discovering new life forms but the gag is they're beetles. everyday we find new species of beetle. they just won't stop coming. so i'm thinking, well they wanted this to be all dramatic, but statistically it's probably just a volcano beetle this guy found.
mulder and scully have an exchange and again i'm distracted by her freckles but she says he's being paranoid and i'm like. yeah that's kinda his whole deal. mulder being paranoid is like a fork spotted in the kitchen.
so the other scientist who was checking on his equipment was, at this point, killed by trepkos. with a rope. and we get the great closed captions "(neck cracks) (body thuds on ground)" which were very descriptive of the whole process
mulder and scully are having a science based argument on the probability of a silicon-based life form and it was really funny to me because it was a nerd off. and frankly i wouldn't go into a science debate with a doctor but mulder is going full steam ahead. it's getting heated and i'm like damn does this ever lead to them kissing because i can see it happening. anyway she's like no trepkos did not discover a silicon-based life form (spoiler alert: he did)
he's looking around like damn. i'm glad she's back but she's such a pain in my ass <3
scully goes to talk to jesse by knocking on her door and asking to chat and then not waiting for an answer and coming in because that is my girl!!!
jesse says trepkos stopped taking his pills that treat his bipolar disorder and he started being weird, saying they polluted his mind and that she was "polluting his body" which has... implications i prefer not to think about?
(why must we make erotic the bond between a student and their thesis advisor? there is no stronger connection! but. not in this way, tv writers, not in this way. i mean Maybe it wasn't meant that way but it seemed like it was)
mulder is streaming the descent into madness of trepkos because he recorded his ramblings which is probably what my friends on my private story think each time i post. but he's going on about finding a silicon-based life form.
this whole time one of the scientists has been very noticeably coughing and losing his voice and i knew it was gonna go somewhere but all of a sudden he collapses. and mulder yells for scully who is undergoing her shift to Doctor Mode. but we see his neck... pulsate? is that the best word to describe it? augh i don't want to even think about it so we'll leave it there
(jesse was also looking super suspicious but i liked her...)
anyway they put the sick guy on a stretcher and he's down and out until he isn't, and now he's making a RUN for it. he runs and runs and falls in a ditch until a THING takes over his body and explodes. i thought it was a worm at first and it was sososo gross i started sweating. i do not like body horror. the things i endure for these two.
so scully's doing some testing and she's like, yeah this is a silicon-based fungus. and poor jesse is having a nervous breakdown because she has been in this base for 8 months and she just wants to go HOME but now they have to quarantine and i felt so bad for her.
then i remembered the line about her "polluting his body" and things were adding up... and they were NOT looking good for her... no... i cannot do this...
scully's really worried about jesse which is justified because this poor girl is freaking out. but mulder is really worried about scully! he wants to go look for trepkos and he's making excuses why she shouldn't come and finally settles on the need to autopsy the body which he seems to both genuinely believe and also say to keep her back at the base
she knows he's being protective so she says "i'm here and i'm not going anywhere" which is sweet but girl you were in a coma. they had your gravestone made. you are lucky he has not put you in bubblewrap entirely. you can't blame the man for needing you to be safe!!!!
he says he's counting on her and grabs her shoulder with some heavily lingering eye contact that, when i see in gif form, i will surely slam the reblog button upon because. good lord.
jesse is talking to the other guy and he says something like "do what we said" and i'm thinking oh man, they're gonna try to get mulder (spoiler alert: they did not quite do that)
the guy is like "you need a guide to go get trepkos" and i'm even MORE suspicious but his reasoning kind of does make sense- it is a volcano maze, after all- still, when mulder goes with him i was tense
BUT THEN he immediately gets shot with a FLARE GUN? which i did NOT see coming. and trepkos emerges from the back of the volcano caves all burned and wild-looking.
he's covering the newly dead body with gasoline and mulder's asking why he's trying to kill him twice when we see the parasite wriggle in his neck (GAG) so then he shoots him with ANOTHER flare to burn up the evil creature. and he's explaining how if you're exposed to the parasite's spores you're gonna be sick...
and scully is back at the base with jesse... who was exposed... so she's not going to be safe...
and we see jesse in her room gagging and convulsing... oh man... it's not looking good....
trepkos is not letting mulder leave, but mulder does not give a fuck LMAO he says "you're gonna have to shoot me then" and goes to walk out... this man was really thinking "they are NOT gonna take scully from me again" and i know that is exactly right!!!!!
NOOOO the lights go off in the compound........... NOOOOO JESSE ATTACK.....
she's handcuffing her and scully together!!!!!! but scully was smart enough to get her behind a door really fast before jesse collapses and the fungus explodes...... but the handcuffs... was the door open a crack?? was it enough to get her infected???!?!?
mulder BURSTS in to see her handcuffed and she keeps repeating "i'm okay, i'm okay" but he must be so shocked because he asks "you alright?" and gently cups her face and at this point i wanted to do some powerful screaming to let out the things i was feeling
we see trepkos come in and look at jesse's body and he says that he told her how this experience would change her life... and i'm getting callbacks to when mulder told scully it would be a nice trip to the forest, but then the whole evil bugs thing happened in s1 ep20... and i am filled with a deep sadness...
so the duo has been sentenced to a month long quarantine, which i'm sure had to absolutely drive them wild. but i think my mutual wrote a fic on this subject so i just simply have no choice but to go read it now! and i assume that, since there are more seasons, the spores did not actually infect them
(and mulder, who was earlier suggesting time off for scully, must be some mix of terrified that any day now the symptoms will start showing and the end will be near, deeply satisfied that she has been forced into getting rest and healing like he wished, and regretting his words that she should take a break, because here she is taking a break. with him. and they're driving each other crazy)
we see trepkos hiking back into the volcano maze with jesse's body and it was actually really sad :(
overall a good episode, another one in the vein of s1 eps 8 and 20 where there is some sort of contagion and we must figure out from where it started and to whom it has gone... but the formula in these episodes keeps me on the edge of my seat and allows for a convergence of doctor scully and protective mulder, two things i am deeply invested in seeing. and seeing mulder try and keep her away from the case after her whole incident made me emo as hell!!!! he is never going to let her out of his sight again unless he has to go keep her safe by finding the wild man in the volcano!!!!!! and even that backfired!!!! ugh my heart!!!!! i love them so deeply!!!
rip my girl jesse i thought u were rad in the brief time we knew each other
#mulder: “you should take a break scully” the universe: lmao bet. quarantine be upon ye.#i'm sure they had a lovely time. i give it 2 days before they loathed each other#but i'm sure it was on and off. they probably talked and watched a lot of bad tv and talked and. well what do you get in a quarantine?#like a real fbi bio quarantine? do you get a landline and some board games? call and catch up with friends? a deck of cards?#solitaire round the clock? it's 1996 so they were sadly a few years off from being able to play neopets :(#i'm sure the fbi has some books but they can't be that interesting. truth or dare? man. much to ponder.#they probably only had old magazines and fbi issued clothes to wear. absolutely roughing it.#so they must have talked talked talked. about the past and the future and the in between. hmm.#juni's x files liveblog#the x files#txf
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The biggest saving grace I feel I've done is to get into death positivity, to learn to appreciate death. It's definitely not going to help for many, but I have found that not stigmatizing my own interest and desire for death has greatly helped. Being able to interact with death not as a punishment, but as a way to express humanity has been truly what has made me feel more human. I no longer want to feel ashamed of this aspect of myself, and it's made me want to live. Death has done unto me life.
#death positive#death tw#death mention tw#suicide mention tw#ask to tag (genuine)#i have been trying to interact with more death positivity. it's helped not only my own thoughts but also grief...#...and grief is something i know intimately that i do not process and deal with 'normally'#i am CERTAINLY not saying that you should adopt these ideas for yourself but rather i am sharing what has worked for me...#...my hope is that i can help motivate others to find what works for THEM...#...to not feel SHAME over it. the shame is the enemy. the fear and self-loathing and self-hatred are the enemies...#...i used to feel so ashamed and humiliated about this aspect of me because of how... out there it was...#...but i genuinely cannot live the way the world does and i have TRIED#i don't want ANYbody EVER feeling that way. not if i can even try to help y'know?#i am really grateful to the people who have posted about death and the process because it has really been an important topic#death is nuanced and complicated and it isn't fair a lot of times - it's absolutely fair to not *like* death
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