#cccclinic

[thewandererh]

art i did in therapy today! new sketchbook :]. my last one was also from my therapy office. very nice and square <3

[thewandererh]

thingers! sillies!!! dingles!!!!!!!!

hello yes!!!! :]!! i also did not share mine. ogh man

i didn’t know peeps have limited magma slides on a single canvas without a membership. whooptydoo ^^”!!

liquid hot magmaa

I don’t think I ever shared these… huh! anyways, real fond of these magma doodles I did awhile ago. all of these are fazgang designs except for the last one. hello opalthething soul <3

oh yea! magma boards are collaborative, right? I did this with @thewandererh hiiii

[thewandererh]

[ Helios cries. It’s scared of being a big red bloodshot star. Consuming the planets in its own anger. ]

when noa (whole) wakes up to the real world after his 5 year long coma in headspace, his hms come with him. dove appears with his daily agony, and simon arrives when he has enough energy to think. simon’s sharp, makeshift birdy composure is dropped with this transition, now a demeanor laid bare without a role to play. presented in assistant wear to fit the clinical atmosphere, only noa can see him. a clipboard is his ticket to visibility. he has no responsibilities besides keeping noa mentally stable, yet there’s fear behind his eyes at the sight of how far noa has fallen from functioning on his own. tubes and wires are strewn about, cradling noa with the ability to live. but simon? he wasn’t ready for this. it’s great noa’s alive but…when do they all get to go home? where is home? does noa even know after 5 years?

[thewandererh]

self love

do not tag this as a ship please

[thewandererh]

rises and claps like shia lebeof with tears in my eyes

[thewandererh]

a favorite of my cccclinic pages ^_^

[thewandererh]

🐏Counting Sleep

| { [ ( a post-coma cccclinic short story ) ] } |

for character references, visit here

please do not tag this as a ship

_…~^*^~…_ _…~^*^~…_ _…~^*^~…_

big, white, heavy eyes

beaming straight into my skull

my ribs start to burn

gasping awake as if empty, a heartbeat rages in his ribs. it’s dark. everything’s so dark.

hands fumble for the bedside lamp while eyes dash about the darkness. any shape perceived as a threat. light bursts from the lamp to reveal a pile of laundry and a coat on the door hook. the relief is overwhelming.

noa wheezes, leaning back before falling to the pillow. a hand at his forehead with the other at his chest. he’s calming down now. breathing proper again. eyes daring to close.

those big, white, and heavy eyes flick into existence behind his eyelids. shivering breaths and tremors overtake his entire figure. the nightmare lingered prominent in his mind, overbearing and overwhelming. any attempt to close his eyes or block it out was met with those masked eyes.

it wasn’t apart of leo now. but that thing—that thing still haunted him. it hurt so much. why did it still hurt so much??

panic and anxiety coursed through his pulse. he hugged himself tight in the sheets. but repressing the visage with pressure was no use. the thick blanket now encompassing him blocked out the lamp’s light. tears crawled into and out of his eyes as air became sparse under the blanket.

he couldn’t do this by himself.

noa unveiled himself to the world, gaze tearing across the dark corners of his room. simon’s desk was bare and tidy, and the night stood silent except for his panic. noa took a deep breath and thought. moments passed. enveloped in twisting anxiety while trying to calm it. although paying attention to it felt worse. he couldn’t help bringing his knees close to him as his entire body shivered. systems shellshocked. the fabric of his drapey pjs promised comfort: the blue with leopard spots felt mangled but fluffy. noa’s eyes lit up when resolve strummed his core. conclusion. a big inhale got him moving again. a decision to go and made in the moment.

the floor was cold under thick socks. neat and sturdy. beamed with smooth wood. panic screamed doubt under every movement. painfully holding him back. yet he got up.

noa made it to the door alive. gripping the steel reflecting his lamp’s light with sweaty palms. turning it flung open to reveal a dark hallway. a lump of fear nearly blocked his throat. yet he pushed on. tunnel visioned and unsure of his every step—this could be his grave. the strumming resolve dimmed inside him, and the next step faltered.

down the hall. to the left. former study. dove’s room.

each further stride could only be taken with the thought of the pale purple walls. the blankets of fluff dove encased themself in. how they held his hand while noa told them all a story. wetness pierced his vision again but he steadied himself with a breath.

everything lasted forever in the darkness pressing in on his body. suffocating beyond end. he functionally stumbled to the door, croaking it open with swiftness. the creak made him flinch.

a gasp resounded in further darkness revealed by the door. a scared and tired sound. then silence. forced silence made when the hunted percieves a threat.

/d-don’t worry. it’s me, w-whole. noa. hi. i-…sorry. c-can i…?/

dove sighed thankfully, shifting in their bed before patting a spot in the darkness. had they already been awake? noa picked his way across the room, begging his eyes to adjust faster. shapes glared from every corner, yet he remained pulled toward the bed. something sharp met his knee and he gasped through his teeth. dove held out a hand and noa took it. he let it guide him to the bed. sighing with a quiver, he shook and massaged his aching knee. dove reached for it but noa flinched aback. they reflected the flinch, headwings subtly puffing. startled. confused. frightened?

/i-i….i…..i’m sorry. i th-think it was the…tablesomething./

noa sighed, frazzled. he let dove feel his knee.

/no blood. i-i just…i had a nightmare. i…/

the lump in his throat choked him up at last. rivers bled from his face like hungry snakes.

dove shifted, then held him.

moment after moment. precious seconds of comfort.

reassurance gathered as they rocked from side to side.

massaging and warming. releasing tension.

finding relief in the finality of peace.

hearing dove breathe comforted him. he settled and sighed. sleepy.

it was too dark to sign anything, and words couldn’t escape noa’s throat without bringing on tears. so no one spoke. it stayed silent, peaceful, calm, and serene.

dove pulled back from the backrub, gently smiling while wiping a tear away from noa’s face. dove then scooted and patted the bed beside them, offering him to stay and perhaps (platonically) snuggle. a shiver snuck up noa’s spine in the cold darkness, and he succumbed to the idea of comfort.

noa lay weakly, and dove tucked him in. pulling a blanket from the basket and using their fingertips to tuck it under his sides. effectively burritoing him. dove rummaged around for a loose sleeping eyemask, and handed it to noa. he took it and sighed, looking at it with adjusted eyes. it was soft and sheep-like, with a closed-eyes decal and sheep ears on the front. brought him a smile as he put it on.

the world fuzzed out. not seeing felt so…peaceful. something stepped off of his chest and shoulders as comforting darkness slid over his eyes. no more veiny red. no more piercing masked eyes. it was so soft.

noa found dove’s hand when they’d settled in, wings and hair drooping across the pillows. heartbeats steady and tired. exhausted by the fuss panic and confusion brought. a throat burning with the aftermath of agony, another ineffective but and soundless. two hands within the other’s grasp. physically separate, but unified with comfort. dove shuffled into sleep. noa pensively pondered the cause for this twilight anxiety.

the nightmare’s memory was recalled from his head. it was…a feeling. overfilled to the point of waking him up. that…thing. that entity of perfect existence still haunted him. that idealism. that torment. that want to never worry about his health again. it was reasonable, really. a manifestation of struggle and self-loathing. a hate bent to unstitch his sinew. tear him open. noa understood where it came from: a cavity in his body that held onto the past, and the sights that came with it. the stuckness and fear. the mistrust and toxicity.

that wasn’t who leo was anymore. leo had been burdened by the anxiety that noa manifested within him. gave to him. projected. noa had separated himself from his feelings so wholly that it grew beyond his control. become something and someone else entirely. yet when the universe of emotions in his head tested him, he perservered. he recovered. he was better now—they all were. he understood himself. challenges like that can be overcome. and if he could jump that strange, near-supernatural horror hurdle, then who knows what he couldn’t do.

noa finally fell asleep tucked in by dove and weakly grasping their hand. calmly counting breath like sheep.

[thewandererh]

🎱magic 8 ball : CCCClinic Animatic

Leo holds the absolute burden of regret for what he’s done and is doing to everyone, especially Noa. He locks himself in his room without giving anyone (even him) the chance to really know his identity, stuck deciding then redeciding what to do. He’s scared, hopeless, and disconnected from his feelings. So much so that he relies on external sources to give him the validation his shattered mental checklist can’t provide anymore. And when those don’t work…

although it’s not completely lined, i’m really really happy with it!! i hope ya’ll enjoy ^_^💛💛!!

[thewandererh]

mind monday omg!!! i will accept the cup of tea….

coincidentally drew dove (heart in my cccclinic au) enjoying a steaming beverage, so let’s say they’re enjoying mind’s tea :] ✨🫖

The Mind offers you a mug of tea. Will you take it?

Happy Mind Monday!

[thewandererh]

Ya’ll’ve seen Noa, Simon, and Leo so far in my cccclinic au. but what about Dove?

KABLAMMO, DOVEBEAM💥💥

bonus content: tidbits on how i figured out dove’s design as a character!

i have a bit of trouble writing the heart-based character in my cccc stories, but i’m very persistent with expanding on everyone equally. a previous writing experiment for this au helped give everyone more depth, and i wanted to reflect that in dove’s design! they were originally verryy,,, blank-feeling, with little to no personality flare reflected through their design. so i got to work.

the blindfold is familiar to a heart’s design, but emphasizes the ‘hiding away’ + an abstract/metaphorical vibe i wasn’t looking for. this heart is diving into a world of self expression while recovering from their whole au ordeal, and favors coziness as stress relief while they get accustomed to the new world. a sleeping eyemask with a unique decal reflected this coziness while giving them a bedhead/mysterious aura. very welcoming!

dove’s short, mangled hair grows out as a form of moving on. they keep their white stressteaks to accept the past while perfecting their purple plumes (the ends naturally turn pink). then comes clothing experiments!

the first outfit above is based for comfort, and is where the permanence of the eyemask appears. unique purple color combos like that feel very ‘dove’ to me :0. the second is for outside occasions with a cane dove’s learning to use. they’ve memorized the house already but handholds or uses a cane in new places. the third is general lounge-wear stitched with comforting texture patches, depicting a forest setting with different moon phases. all three were inspired by something (my chemistry teacher assistant’s outfit, my personal heart fit on a dressup day, and a comfy big sweater thing a friend gave me). they were ways for me to experiment with palettes and decals!

being mute, dove has been learning sign language and braille for communication. i’ve been thinking about them visually “speaking braille” as replacements for speech bubbles in silly jokes, or having the speech bubble come from their hands instead. oc drawing ideas…

last are expressions! understanding how a character visibly expresses themselves adds a lot to their, well, character, especially with how much enthusiasm is behind the expression or movement. it was loads of fun experimenting with how the eyemask would work alongside the eyebrows and mouth. it’s a very meaningful exercise for nailing a demeanor, and I highly recommend :]!

also, i drew the last page while listening to our awesome english teacher read out the LOTF chapter A Gift for the Darkness. my art hilariously contrasted the content of the book and i just wanted to highlight that. man. a new hyperfixation is coming on…

thanks for listening to me figure out dove :]!! you reading means a lot ^^💛

[thewandererh]

🐥hello chat!! have some cccclinic doodles before i leave for the night….

got a new small sketchbook for school schtuff and it’s been filling up fast!! mostly with cccclinic huhu. i love my markers <33

also me commenting on my process for a pose i tried something different for! color combos looked awesome but then unexpected yucky blending happened. i wrote down what i learned so i could maybe try again later!

[thewandererh]

this is a short comic i made testing out composition while giving myself a chance to be messy. it’s very minimalistic and i love it!! you can see the learning implement itself aaugh i love this so much. but yea, more cccclinic! i’ve been drawing them a lot recently.

story : noa(whole) tries to reconnect with leo(soul) when the hms settle into the house noa hasn’t seen for 4 years because of his coma. while noa adjusts to life with simon and dove, leo withdraws from the group because of his burdening guilt.

leo getting the comfort he deserves!

[thewandererh]

🌼workin on a little something…

update: it’s out!

started it when i had time during job shadowing today (finished! done with 6 out of 12 hours ^^!!). i dunno when i’ll finish this, but i’m very excited for it!

working through the animating process has never been more fun: i storyboarded traditionally and am drawing it digital. with the storyboards imported as pngs for reference, i sorted through background colors for mood stuff. it’s turning out great so far! the beginning needs some reworking, but that’s ok. i took that first picture to preserve the frame’s former state if it needs to be changed in the future (most likely). i’m very very proud of the metaphorical imagery in this one…it’s the most i’ve put into any animation :].

however, i’m off to take a break now. probably some card game rainworld or webfishing. yahoooooooo

[thewandererh]

preview of my next fic 😎

[thewandererh]

^^ space-qu33n’s tags ^^

A little PSA for new Jashers (and honestly a couple older ones):

If you ever see Chonny's real name anywhere, no you didn't.

[thewandererh]

goor mornin char

have some fresh outthe oven cccclinic doodles. im currently taking a break from this story for a lil so i can clear my head and get some new ideas. huzzah. magma is a great doodling program but flipaclip is real good too. oh! and third flan emoji mention 🍮

yes those scars are canon, no the reason why isn’t. simon does have asthma and suffers for it 😔 tho beeswax candles and his mask help a lot! sweetiepie babyboy. oh and lee! there is a lee (whole’s “ex”) in this story. they get back together healthily :]

uuhhhh do i have more….

have an imagedump for now. we’re all homies. we all chill. we all share memes at the costume party. none (except some clouds) are mine!!

1. wendigoon silly i was delighted by

2. screamer tornado siren <3

3. berndaut smilde, the dutch guy who can make clouds (article)

4. + 5. some gorgeous layered clouds the day i got my shot

6. yesterday’s lovely cirrus uncinus and glory(?)

7. recent jacksepticeye news

i am off to feed my meowing cat. goodbye char 🍮