#Humanity has the capacity to love but rejects it

[aliencatwafers]

I am disgusted at the fact that we have a Nazi in office

Did the United States forget the collective trauma of WWII and what generations had died for, only for Elon Musk to do a Nazi salute and be supported by Trumpers.

Imagine a President or anyone they pick pulling a Nazi salute in the 1940’s and so on?

We live in the timeline where we have Nazis in office.

When I tried to force myself to be conservative in 2016, I didn’t fully understand why my disabled classmate said Trump was the next Hitler (I was disabled too).

I understand that she’s right, and I should’ve seen it coming much sooner rather than have it slowly dawn on me through Trump’s bigoted and harmful acts.

Of course, the United States was never great. The moment the white colonizers decided to oppress Indigenous people and enslave Africans, and oppress Latin and Asian people, to oppress women, to oppress disabled people, to oppress queer/trans people, to oppress anyone, this country was fucked. It’s built off a graveyard with blood. The oppressed people saw it coming, and the privileged should’ve seen it coming.

Also what Trumps doing is not subtle in the slightest. It baffles me that there’s people who still love and support this man, and act as if fascism isn’t on the rise. I shouldn’t be shocked with the long racist history of this country. I hate that the privileged will happily let flames spread rather than accept helpful policies if it helps another oppressed person they hate with a passion.

The right wingers are fascist cowards.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

wake up and smell the ozone, guys

[ Sebek and internalized racism / Sebek and his place in the Diasomnia found family / Sebek and his capacity to love / Sebek and the love of literature ]

wake up Wake Up WAKE UP

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT'S GOING ON??? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU, I'LL TELL YOIU WHAT 'S GOING O N

Do you remember... Lilia's farewell party????? In 7-34, he takes us aside and says this: "Then if you truly wish to repay me, would you indulge a little request of mine? There's a freshman in our dorm, Sebek Zigvolt... It's been half a year since he started here, but I have yet to see him make any friends in the freshmen class. [...] I wouldn't ask [you to be friends with him]. Just... If you notice he's ever stuck at some point during your time here... I would ask that you card soldiers give him a little nudge."

When Sebek runs over shortly after with berry juice for Lilia, Lilia invites him to toast with his fellow first years (Ortho included): "These people will be your rivals and classmates until you graduate. You should take this chance to bond with some students from other dorms."

Of course, Sebek adamantly refuses to do so at that point in the story. "While I appreciate your consideration, I haven't the slightest intention of being friendly with these shallow people. [...] I already have more than enough training partners between Silver and our fellow Diasomnia students. Feeble humans are naught by deadweight! There's no need to be chummy with them!"

We are now well into book 7's Heartslabyul update and it is only now that I realize WE'RE FULFILLING LILIA'S REQUEST FROM ALL THE WAY BACK THEN IN 7-34.

Firstly, Sebek is already having his entire worldview shaken because he is exposed to the terror hie liege, his idol, Malleus, has brought about. The person he dedicated his life to and worked so hard to better himself for is misusing his powers to force his will upon others, including his own retainers. And then Sebek is given a taste of his own medicine when he meets a younger version of his grandfather in Lilia's dream. Baur calls his own grandson "human" and acts suspiciously towards him because of Sebek's race (refusing to trust him, refusing to eat food he prepared, etc.). Sebek, who is hateful and others non-fae, is now the one receiving hate and being othered by the grandfather that he loves and admires. He is experiencing the discomfort with being the target of the behaviors that he himself engages in irl. These two events are challenging Sebek's beliefs and how he sees the world. He's being forced to recognize that Malleus isn't perfect, and how it feels to be persecuted and rejected on the basis of one's race.

Sebek is taken aback by the attitude of dream!Baur and doesn't exactly know how to react (though he continues to act in ways to try and earn his grandfather's praise). Silver has to intervene and remind Sebek that, in real life, Baur doesn't despise him and to not let this get to him--but it's clear that this experience still bothers Sebek, as he grumpily responds with the usual DONT BELITTLE ME, OF COURSE I KNOW THAT tsundere response. Many of the other events Sebek experiences in Lilia's dream also call into question the nature of racial relationships, and, at times, puts Sebek in the shoes of the one defending the partnership between humans and fae. For example, some Silver Owls demand to know why we're siding with the fae, and Sebek declares back that whether human or fae, it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, they fight against those with bad intentions.

When we finally transition into the dream hopping segment of book 7, I noticed that Sebek has very targeted interactions with specifically the first-year characters--the very same group that Lilia asked to help him out if he ever gets stuck. For example:

Sebek spends a prolonged period of time in Lilia's dream with Silver (a human he does like), Yuu, and Grim (two newcomers that he has to get adjusted to). Together with them, he unravels an unspoken about part of his country's history. It's kind of like traumabonding/j

Sebek relies on the technomantic support of Idia and especially Ortho (who helps them navigate to new dreams in combination with Silver's UM). He has to acknowledge that this is a specialty of Ignihyde and not something that he, a student of Diasomnia and a first year, could achieve on his own. It humbles Sebek and forces him to depend on others instead of trying to brute force the task by himself. He's physically INCAPABLE of doing so.

In Epel's dream, he appears very tall and muscular. However, Sebek chides Epel and recalls that, at Lilia's farewell party, Epel was praising Lilia because although Lilia has a similarly small stature, he never once failed to be at Malleus's side. Back then, Lilia had told Epel that physical prowess has nothing to do with a mage's strength. Later on, Sebek even praises Epel's style of fighting despite Epel being a first year. Moreover, Epel has a 70-80% success rate at casting his UM--which shocks Sebek, who has not yet mastered his own. Here, he is learning that humans that present as small and weak can actually be formidable fighters with skill that surpasses his own. This is notable because Sebek often pushes himself to train hard physically and mentally to be the best possible retainer and may have insecurities about being a magical late bloomer.

In Jack's dream, Sebek makes a big fuss about the injustices Diasomnia suffered back in book 2 due to Savanaclaw's nasty plot. He makes it clear that he won't forgive them even now--but then Jack says it's understandable given that his dorm members were playing so dirty. Sebek expresses surprise that "there are people like Jack" in Savanaclaw. He's acknowledging that even in a dormitory that Sebek had previously pegged as all underhanded ruffians, there are people who have a moral compass and go against the grain. After all, Jack was the whistleblower in that incident and still to this day realizes their actions were wrong. This shows Sebek that not all members belonging to a group are the same.

In Deuce's dream, Sebek and Deuce bond over books. Deuce shares happy memories that he has with a popular children's book from the Queendom, and this inspires Sebek to want to read the book irl. He also suggests that Deuce pick out or recommend a book for Yuu and Grim, which is similar to what Sebek does for his own loved ones (like Silver). Here, he is sharing his interests with a non-fae in a sort of cultural exchange.

So if that's the case... I’m anticipating an interaction between Sebek and Ace that brings this full circle in Ace’s dream 👁️ or at least before the end of book 7!! I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for that!

I know I've critiqued the pacing of book 7 a lot (particularly when it comes to the dream segments), but I find it really ironic that, of all characters, Sebek is the one with the most spread-out character arc... Lilia's and Silver's arcs were mainly crammed into Lilia's dream, we haven't seen Malleus for several tends of chapters now (so he only ends up being present in the beginning and end of the book), and then you have Sebek pacing himself in this marathon 🤡 even though Sebek is also the one in Diasomnia that's the most in a rush to "grow up" and "be better" (so much so that even his UM is associated with wanting to quickly rush to someone and/or to be immediately stronger).

[boy-in-red-dress]

HEAR ME OUT, so I made a list of Ford and Bill's character traits and how they compliment each other. Ford and Bill's relationship is a rather interesting and twisted dynamic which is one of the reasons why I like them a lot. So let's start with my interpretation of the two characters...

Stanford Pines

He a deeply intricate character, shaped by a life that have left him both brilliant and broken. Born as one of two twins, Ford’s life has been a constant struggle with self-worth and identity. His intelligence and curiosity set him apart from others, but they also isolated him, creating a sense of loneliness. This isolation was only deepened by his complex relationship with his twin brother, Stanley. Ford’s need to prove himself became a driving force in his life. Yet, it was never simply about proving his worth; it was about escaping the deep-seated feelings of jealousy, shame, and guilt that had haunted him since childhood.

Ford's brilliance, however, is matched by his flaws. His obsession with knowledge and understanding the unknown led him down dangerous paths, often pushing away those who cared for him. The rift with his brother, born out of both love and rivalry, is a central part of his character. Which is why (if you've read some of my work on ao3) I put the fact Ford thinks about Stan often.

Despite his vast intellect, Ford’s emotional intelligence often lags behind, making him susceptible to manipulation and leading him to make decisions that are sometimes cold and calculating. He is a man who is willing to risk everything—even his own humanity—for the sake of discovery and the pursuit of what he believes is right and what could do good for the world. This single-minded determination, while admirable, also reveals his vulnerability. His self-imposed isolation and his relentless drive to prove his worth have left him with a fragile sense of self that is easily shattered when confronted with his own limitations. Speaking of his limitations, that's where Bill comes in. To make Ford go beyond the limits of his human capabilities.

Bill Cipher

He's a being of pure chaos and malevolence, contrasts Ford's character in almost every conceivable way. Where Ford is driven by a desire for knowledge and understanding, Bill is driven by a desire for power and control. Bill’s complexity lies in his unpredictability and his capacity for manipulation. He is a master of deception, able to twist the desires and fears of others to suit his own ends. Unlike Ford, who is bound by his human emotions and flaws, Bill is unrestrained, reveling in the chaos he creates. He lacks empathy, seeing others only as tools to be used or obstacles to be destroyed. His lack of morality and his enjoyment of others' suffering make him a truly terrifying entity to come across.

BUT. They have similarities, too. Stay with me.

1. Intellectual Curiosity and Ambition

Both Ford and Bill possess an insatiable curiosity and a relentless drive to uncover the secrets of the universe. For Ford, this curiosity is rooted in a genuine desire to understand the unknown, to push the boundaries of human knowledge, and to make his mark on the world. His intellect is one of his defining traits, and it’s what led him to explore other dimensions and study the mysteries of Gravity Falls.

Similarly, Bill is driven by a desire to know and control everything. His curiosity, however, is twisted by his malevolent nature; it’s less about understanding and more about exploiting knowledge for his own gain. Bill’s intellectual prowess is evident in how he manipulates others, devises complex plans (or impulsive plans), and navigates the multiverse with ease. His fascination with the workings of the universe mirrors Ford’s own, but where Ford seeks to understand, Bill seeks to dominate and corrupt.

2. Rejection of Limitations

Both characters reject the limitations imposed on them by their respective worlds. Ford’s entire life has been a struggle against the boundaries set by society, by his family, and even by his own humanity. His six-fingered hands marked him as different from a young age, and this difference fueled his determination to transcend the ordinary. Ford’s rejection of these limitations led him to create the portal, opening a gateway to other dimensions, and ultimately, to his fateful encounter with Bill.

Bill, too, rejects any form of limitation. As a being from the Nightmare Realm, Bill refuses to be confined by the rules of any single dimension. His very nature is one of rebellion against order and constraint. He sees limitations as challenges to be overcome, often through manipulation and force. This shared disdain for boundaries creates a unique parallel between the two: Ford, the man who defied his world to expand his knowledge, and Bill, the demon who seeks to break the rules of reality itself.

3. A Sense of Superiority

Ford and Bill both harbor a sense of superiority, though it manifests differently in each. Ford’s superiority is intellectual; he knows he is smarter than most people around him, and this often leads him to act alone, believing that only he can solve the problems he encounters. This mindset can make him seem arrogant or dismissive, particularly when dealing with those who don’t share his level of understanding.

Bill’s sense of superiority, on the other hand, is rooted in his power and knowledge. He views himself as above all others, not just because of his intelligence, but because of his status as an interdimensional being. Bill sees humans as insignificant creatures to be toyed with, and he revels in the chaos he can create among them. His superiority complex is part of what makes him so dangerous; he genuinely believes that no one can match him, which drives his desire to control and manipulate.

4. Isolation and Loneliness

Both Ford and Bill are, in their own ways, deeply isolated figures. Ford’s intellectual pursuits and his strained relationship with his brother have left him lonely, often feeling like he is the only one who can understand or solve the mysteries he uncovers. This isolation is both self-imposed and a consequence of his choices; Ford often distances himself from others to protect them or to keep them from slowing him down.

Bill, despite his power, is also a fundamentally lonely being. His existence as a demon is one of isolation; he is a creature of chaos in a universe that generally strives for order. His interactions with others are almost entirely manipulative, and he lacks genuine connections. This loneliness could be a driving force behind his desire to dominate and destroy—if he cannot be understood or accepted, then he will make the world bend to his will instead.

5. Obsession with Control

Control is another trait that both Ford and Bill share, though their methods and motivations differ. Ford’s obsession with control stems from his fear of the unknown and his need to protect those he cares about. After his experiences with Bill, this need becomes even more pronounced, as Ford understands the dangers that lurk beyond the veil of reality. His attempts to control situations, however, often lead to unintended consequences, and his desire to keep everything under control can sometimes cause more harm than good.

Bill’s obsession with control is far more malevolent. He doesn’t just want control—he wants total domination. Bill thrives on bending others to his will, on twisting reality to suit his desires. His manipulation of Ford is a key example of this; by gaining control over Ford, Bill was able to bring chaos to the world in ways that would have been impossible otherwise. For Bill, control is both a means to an end and the ultimate goal itself.

Conclusion: A Complex Relationship

The similarities between Ford and Bill make their relationship all the more complex and tragic. Ford’s intellectual curiosity, his desire to break free from limitations, his sense of superiority, and his isolation all made him an ideal target for Bill’s manipulation. At the same time, these shared traits create a twisted mirror image between the two—Bill literally represents the dark potential of Ford’s own qualities, turned towards destruction rather than discovery. That is if you look at it that way.

Together, they form a complicated pair: Ford, the man who seeks to protect and understand, and Bill, the demon who seeks to control and destroy. Their similarities make them more than just adversaries; they are reflections of each other’s strengths and flaws, locked in a struggle that is as much about their own identities as it is about the fate of the world. This dynamic is what makes their interactions so compelling and their conflict so deeply resonant, as each tries to outmaneuver the other while grappling with the very qualities that make them who they are.

I want to lick these senior citizens— WHAT WHO SAID TJAT

[niceandaccurategoodomensanalysis]

I was not able to find the source for this pic! If you know about it, please let me know in the comments or via direct! Thank you!

Religious trauma in Good Omens: Aziraphale's case

We talk about religious trauma and the state of constant psychological abuse and manipulation experienced by those who suffer it, using Aziraphale as an example.

DISCLAIMER

This post is about painful experiences and the different ways you can react to them. This may affect you in particular and be difficult or stressful to deal with.

Here I intend to speak to you about the trauma of Aziraphale. I use the singular not because it is a single event, but because it is a very specific type of trauma to which ours has been subjected continuously since the beginning of time: religious trauma.

WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA

Religious trauma is a complex type of trauma that usually has its greatest impact during the period of development: a person grows up in a social context that is regulated according to the dictates of any sect, which greatly influences the way they approach reality and, above all, themselves.

Often, this trauma begins to affect the existence of the victim even before they begin to speak and thus have the capacity to articulate the memories associated with it. It is not necessarily this trauma that is marked by significant events: very often it is its impact on everyday life that literally conditions the people who experience it, placing them on a well-trodden path of conventions and moral imperatives from which they must not deviate.

We are all (obviously, given the fandom) familiar with the concept of original sin. When a person is brought up with the view that we are all born sinners because we have literally inherited that sin and must spend our lives making amends for what is in our nature, several things happen:

_we live with a constant sense of shame and fear of not making it, of not being enough; _we blindly trust those who raise us and show us the way, and we may not want to see the inherent hypocrisies and contradictions because that would bring us into conflict with reality; _as a result, we have an incredible fear of authority and will tend to respect hierarchies even when they do not make much sense to us, and also try not to question what we are told; _we want at all costs to be 'part of the herd' and conform to the group, so we will suppress anything that we feel is different and might cause us trouble.

Now let's consider that, growing up in such a context, we become aware that something is not quite right for us. It could be anything from realising that we have sexual urges, to being attracted to someone of the same sex, to feeling uncomfortable in our own bodies, and so on.

In response to all of this, we experience feelings of shame, self-loathing and a desire to repress that which takes us away from what is the right way to be.

All these things are cruelly represented in our beloved angel Aziraphale.

AZIRAPHALE'S TRAUMA

It is really difficult to talk about Aziraphale's pain, although it is probably the most obvious and easiest to explain in the series. Because it is tangible, it is realistic, many of us experience it all the time and can relate to it.

Aziraphale has won us over with his almost childlike tenderness and joy, with his tenderness for the little things, with his tendency to take to heart the well-being and happiness of every human being in front of him. He is pure, genuine, sensitive and always on the side of good. But behind his façade of a happy and enthusiastic little creature, there is a frightened, abused, insecure child full of shame and self-reproach. This will always condition his actions and will lead him to the painful and, as we shall see, inevitable epilogue in which he rejects Crowley's love to follow Metatron to Paradise.

TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT OR TO DO WHAT I MUST?

We immediately see how Aziraphale lives in a state of perpetual contradiction due to his strong sense of morality: in the series, the first thing we see of him is the moment when he gives Adam and Eve the flaming sword he received as guardian of the Eastern Gate, so that they would not be completely helpless in their escape from the Garden of Eden.

As well as entertaining Crowley (and winning his immediate admiration), the episode shows us from the outset that Aziraphale has a moral compass that always points in a very precise direction: the good of others. This will often lead him in the series to act on impulse, only to have to face the consequences of constituted authority, and create in him an everlasting sense of remorse: almost immediately he is asked by God himself to account for the sword, the very sword that was in danger of becoming an instrument of destruction in the hands of one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - except that it was then the key to preventing it.

Unable to fight his nature, Aziraphale finds himself repeating the same actions over and over again: in the miniseries about the life of Job, his tenacity to save innocent creatures at all costs leads him to confront Crowley head-on, discovering his plan to circumvent the orders he was given and not kill anyone. But the web of lies he and the demon have woven tightens around him as Gabriel, Michael and the other angels descend to give Job the good news that he will be able to have more children in exchange for those who have been killed.

Aziraphale is thus forced to make a choice: tell the truth, exposing Crowley's deception and leading to the presumed murder of Job's children, or lie, saving everyone but tarnishing himself with what he sees as an unforgivable guilt. Our angel, as we know, chooses to lie. This causes him tremendous pain and leads him to believe that his fate is sealed and that he must fall. Despite having made the right choice.

Fortunately, as we know, none of this happens. But the fear of doing the wrong thing is always with him.

NATURAL ENEMIES

Aziraphale never makes it a secret that he despises Crowley's demonic nature. Never.

It is painful to compare the admiring look he gives him in S2E1 when he meets him in his angelic version, intent on starting the nebula he has been working on since the beginning of time, with the veiled look of shock (not to say a little disgust) he gives him in S1E1 when they meet again as an angel and a demon, on the walls of the Garden of Eden.

However, as soon as it starts to rain and Crowley gets close to him, Aziraphale immediately takes him under his wing. Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves no matter what. It is his peculiar and almost poisonous trait that leads him to help and to forgive even those who have wronged him.

Aziraphale believes that Crowley should be forgiven and loved, but he cannot accept that he has feelings of love for him. This leads him to reflexively despise himself for what he feels, and to push Crowley away whenever he gets too close: think of the argument under the gazebo, or when, confronted with Crowley's suggestion that he take him for a ride after giving him the thermos of holy water, he tells him that he "runs too fast".

It is already obvious to us viewers, and to Aziraphale himself, that he has feelings for Crowley that go far beyond camaraderie, but he cannot let go of them: the fear of retribution and the contempt he feels for anything that is not angelic leads him once again to flounder in contradictions and adopt that yo-yo attitude that characterises all his interactions with Crowley.

THE FINAL TEMPTATION

Crowley is a demon sui generis: he is not really evil and does not mind harming others. In fact, if he can, he actively avoids doing so. However, he does enjoy temptation, and one of his favourite targets is our beloved angel. Still during the miniseries on the life of Job, we see Crowley's first successful temptation of Aziraphale: while the two are patiently waiting for the storm to pass in the cellar of the mansion, Crowley offers him a drink, but Aziraphale refuses, not wanting to succumb to the intoxication of the wine.

Crowley then suggests that he try some human food. The angel is initially disgusted, but makes no objection, and is so impressed by what he tastes that he devours the entire roast beef on the table. Crowley is delighted, and this gag of temptation for an invitation to dinner is repeated throughout the series. Whether the invitation comes from him or from Crowley, each time Aziraphale eats contentedly and our demon watches him eat with satisfaction.

Crowley can therefore be said to be initiating Aziraphale into the pleasures of the flesh, which he will indulge in to the fullest. Aziraphale is a hedonist who loves refined and special things: from antique books to bespoke clothing, passing records, tea and sushi. He loves the objects he surrounds himself with and treats them with care: remember the white gloves he wears before leafing through the only existing copy of Agnes Nutter's Prophecies!

Aziraphale delights in touching his surroundings, and we have already talked about how his predominant love language is physical contact. As much as he can control himself, he touches our demon every time he gets his hands on him. He cannot help it. He desires it, and while Aziraphale has not realised this for the better part of 6,000 years on Earth, in the last century he has come to acknowledge it openly.

This leads Aziraphale to experience another contradiction: he wants to have more physical contact with Crowley, but he cannot. Crowley is a demon, he is the enemy, he is everything he abhors, but the angel he was is always there, alive, before his eyes, and it is out of love for that angel that Aziraphale accepts Metatron's proposal, faced with the prospect of being able to take Crowley back to Paradise with him. So they could be together, in the sunlight, with the approval of God and all, in an angelic way.

But Crowley unexpectedly, desperately, refuses.

Our angel feels betrayed, but has no choice but to accept Crowley's will.

Here is the irreparable, the ultimate temptation our demon could offer: a kiss, a last desperate cry for love, a plea for help, a series of meanings too great to be expressed in words. Crowley grabs Aziraphale by the lapels and for a few very long seconds their lips meet.

Aziraphale has never experienced anything like this before (probably not even Crowley) and feelings stir inside him that he has never even been able to name. Feelings that frighten him, feelings that bring back his contempt for himself and his being far from angelic nature. Aziraphale desires Crowley, discovers that he wants to be kissed by a demon (as the writers of the show themselves have revealed to us), and all of this clashes with everything he has ever been. He has just witnessed the contempt of angels and demons for the love of Beelzebub and Gabriel, he has just risked extinction for helping the fugitive Archangel, and yet Crowley tempts him with a sweet and terrible kiss.

But Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves and forgives.

So he forgives Crowley.

But Crowley, by definition, is unforgivable: disappointed and embittered by his beloved's rejection, he leaves.

Aziraphale does not really want to go to Paradise, but his desire to be part of the herd, his need to be loved and accepted by his faction, drives him to go, to do what is right, what is expected of him as an angel.

As he gets into the lift and asks Metatron what his task will be, he discovers that he will have to deal with the very thing he had already averted in the past: the Second Coming, the Last Judgement. He realises his mistake, realises that he is trapped, and once again wonders if he should do what is right or what he must do.

This time, however, it wins what he must: after one last look at Crowley, watching from afar, Aziraphale climbs into the lift with Metatron that will take him to Paradise. His trauma is so deep and ingrained that it has removed any prospect of being worthy of love except in the light of divine approval.

Although leaving everything he loves - Crowley, Earth, the Library - causes him enormous pain, Aziraphale must return to Paradise and fulfil his destiny.

More infos at Religious trauma syndrome - Wikipedia

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[ihfmseatsoch]

dad jimmy putting melatonin in his daughters drink so he doesn't have to deal with her crying when he tries anal with her pleasee

writing this was bad for my daddy issues lawl

genre: smut, dark fic

word count: 1.9k

warnings/content: incest, parental abuse, noncon, drugging, somno, misogyny if you squint, jimmy sucks -_-

—

Your dad never wanted you.

That's something you've known the moment you were conceived, before you were even told how much he hated you. Before you could recognize the expression twisted on his face whenever he looked at you.

Contempt.

He constantly reminded you how much of a burden you are. How you're lucky he even bothers housing and feeding you. How you're nothing but a soul sucking leech in his life.

Still, every kid wants their parent to be proud of them. Craves their affection deep down, even if they'll never receive it. You tried to be a good daughter, one that he could be happy to call his own. Your grades were decent. You made him cards on father's day. You tried to joke with him, make him laugh; all your efforts were met with absolutely nothing in return. Maybe an unamused scoff, on occasion.

It seemed the only way to get him to tolerate being around you, was to let him use you. You let him grope you anywhere he wanted, let him fuck you within an inch of your life, his cock pounding painfully hard into your cunt, and all you could do was cover your mouth and muffle your sobs. He rarely even made you cum. At least he liked you for your body, you thought. His love, or whatever he felt for you in those moments, was rewarding enough.

Of course, giving him exactly what he wanted wasn't enough for very long. It was obvious he was growing bored of you. He stopped coming to your room at night, stopped initiating anything at all.

You were rejected once again, and it hurt more than anything.

"What did I do wrong?" You found yourself asking him, in a moment of desperation, after crying in your desolate room for hours, until your eyes swelled and stung. When your question is met with silence, you continue, "Why don't you love me?"

You let him do anything he wanted to you. Allowed him to violate you, deflower you, and even after all of that, you're still met with indifference. You feel like you're going insane, acting like you're one of his ex girlfriends, rather than his daughter.

Jimmy stared blankly down at the floor, licking his chapped bottom lip, contemplating your question. Why didn't he love you? There's a lot of answers he could give, none of them rational. Maybe it's because you look like her, especially when you cry. Or, because he felt as if you were a tedious responsibility, rather than his own flesh and blood. It was hard for him to even see you as a human being. You were something he was forced to care for, like an unwanted pet.

"I can't deal with this shit right now." Is the line he chooses to repeat like he does every time you get emotional, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Please," You beg, approaching his figure on the couch, kneeling down like you're pleading to God himself, "Just tell me what to do. What do you want from me?"

He looked almost disgusted at the sight of your groveling. "Jesus Christ..." He sighs, standing to his feet. You've been in this position several times before, with you on your knees before him, as he towers over you. You almost feel hopeful that he'll pull his cock out and shove it down your throat, making you feel useful to him again. A harsh, "Get up. You look like an idiot." crushes that hope.

You obey, naturally, and he takes a moment to just... observe you, the much shorter girl in front of him, sniveling and desperate for his affection. If you were any other woman, he'd be enjoying this. He often feels a twinge of shame in how cruel he is to you. He has a daughter that genuinely loves and worships him, and he doesn't even have the capacity to appreciate her. You're like a stray in an alley that follows him around in search of scraps. It's rather pitiful.

He should just tell you what you want to hear so you shut the fuck up for once, offer you an ounce of sweetness that he rarely gives away so freely. Although, that'd just get you more attached. There's unfortunately no getting rid of you either way, he decides.

"Come here."

Jim pulls you into a stiff hug. Everything about it is forced, and it's downright uncomfortable for him. He's hugged you, what, barely a handful of times in your whole life? Nonetheless, to you, it feels like absolute bliss. You rest your cheek against his chest, your arms wrapped around his torso like you want to keep him locked in place forever.

He rigidly pats your head as he wracks his brain for something to say. Something disingenuous to temporarily pacify you. "It's not... fuck, it's not you, alright?" He lies. It's absolutely you. "Got a lot of shit goin' on. I don't hate you or anythin' okay?"

That part is a half-truth. He doesn't exactly... hate you. He just dislikes the fact that you're alive. That may sound a lot like hating you, but... it's a lot more complicated in his mind. You seem to believe him, calming down, which is an immense relief to him.

Having just about enough of this parental affection shit, he pulls away, almost too eagerly. How does he get you to leave him alone now that he's indulged you? "You want some water or somethin'? You look like you've been crying for days." He attempts to sound concerned, but his words come out flat.

You nod and rub your eyes, hot from the hundreds of tears you've cried. You've lost your voice at this point, feeling so low you're unable to find the energy to speak. At least he doesn't have to listen to you talk right now.

Jimmy heads over to the kitchen, grabbing a cup from the drying rack that looks... clean enough. If you don't squint. The bottle of dissolvable melatonin tablets sitting idly on the counter beside the sink entice him. It'd be so easy... so stupidly easy to just...

He doesn't count how many he slips into your drink. Hopefully you won't notice the difference between the usual cloudiness of your shitty tap water, and the way the tablets look dissolving in the liquid, making it appear unappetizingly murky. He should've opted for a normal roofie, he thinks, but he shouldn't take longer than he needs to grab you a glass of water of all things. You'll come in and ask what he's doing, fucking everything up.

"Here. This'll help." He tells you, handing you the glass. Thankfully, you don't notice a thing wrong with the drink, and he watches you gulp down the tainted liquid with an unnerving amount of focus.

It doesn't take too long for you to pass out on the couch, maybe half an hour or so. His initial plan to simply get a break from you changes as he watches you, nice and unconscious. Anything he could do to you would go unnoticed. The dose he gave you will probably have you knocked out for hours.

Plus, you're in his spot. You should get punished for that alone. He tried to get rid of you, and you're still here. You're always fucking here, in his personal space.

In his eyes, you're getting what's been coming to you. He rolls you onto your stomach with a lack of cautiousness that risks awakening you, but the growing anger that's stirring inside of him, directed at you for no apparent reason, makes it difficult for him to care if you're conscious for this or not. His frustration is apparent in the way he yanks your pants down, not a glint of mercy in his dark eyes.

He's angry at you because you're alive. Because you had the audacity to grow in your whore of a mother's womb. You had the gall to be born at all, believe you're entitled to his attention from the moment you opened your eyes, wailing every fucking night, waking him up just because you were hungry, writhing in your crib like a parasitic worm.

If you're going to look so much like your mother, he may as well use you like he used her. Like a bitch who's only good for her holes. And, lucky for him, there's one he hasn't claimed yet.

Jimmy fondles your ass, spreading it apart so he can inspect the tight muscle that you thought you had the right to deny him access to. He made you. He owns the body that he created. He's entitled to every inch of what belongs to him. As far as he's concerned, you're equivalent to his property.

He gives his cock a couple strokes, already hard from the very idea of desecrating you even further, and, for once, you'll be completely silent. He won't have to listen to your absolutely grating noises. He wants a fleshlight, not an actual person. At least you'll finally act like a toy in this state.

Jimmy spits a wad of saliva onto your hole, rubbing his cock along the rim to lube up his fat tip before pressing inside, causing you to twitch in your sleep as he stretches the taut muscle open wide enough to fit his shaft inside. He groans, the sound evolving into a deep growl as he feels you squeeze around his dick, your tightness making it difficult for him to push further. "You're gonna let me the fuck in," he grunts, spitting on your hole again to make you slick enough for him to ease himself in deeper, "Whether you fuckin' want it or not. Y' don't get a say in this."

He manages to force himself balls deep into your ass, his hard thrusts loosening the hole enough so he's able to slide in and out without any more complications. "Feels so much better than your cunt, jesus..." He sounds winded as he speaks to you, even though you can't hear him at all. "You're a lot better when you're quiet. Don't have to hear you whining, talkin' 'bout, 'it hurts, dad, it hurts!'" Jimmy mocks you in a high pitched tone, chuckling at his own impression.

"Yeah, I like you a lot more like this. Should drug you more often, huh?" He grabs your hair and makes you nod your head at his question. "Glad you agree."

Jimmy has a tight grip on your hips as he hammers his dick in and out of your hole, gaped wide to accommodate his size, snapping his hips into you with a force that'd leave you sobbing in pain if you were awake. It's honestly a blessing that you're conked out for this. He spared you from experiencing the worst part.

He takes his chance to finally cum inside of you for the first time, filling your cunt being too risky, even for him. He doesn't want another kid. That's worse than death. But your ass? Fair game. Jimmy pumps your hole to the brim with a low groan that rumbles in his chest.

He doesn't bother to clean you up when he pulls out, heading to his room without another word. You wake up the next afternoon with a sore ass, and dried semen on the back of your thighs.

Maybe he does still love you, after all.

—

[olasketches]

I like Sukuna and Yuuji for the same reason as you! But you can tell me to back off if you don't agree with what I'll say next lol

To me Sukuna being reduced to a petty child is so interesting to me because I used to think of what lead him to take his place as the King of Curse and how it pushed humanity farther than him, as he was already not treated humanely. The same way, he say he doesn't feel anything but Yuuji keep pushing his buttons, something he end up recognizing no matter how boring he call Yuuji. Petty until the end too

As for Yuuji... Despite what the jujutsu world tried to drill into him, he found his way back and found value in life again, and that none of them were worthless. Even Sukuna. Even if he hate him

Because Yuuji applied his reasoning to everyone, Sukuna included. We all knew how Sukuna would react but I still really loved to see Yuuji put his values over his personal feelings

We are all aware of the flaws ect ect... But at the end I am happy I discovered and followed Jujutsu Kaisen.

Do you plan to try phantom parade too? And what do you think about Sukuna admitting defeat and the possibility to take another part

Seem like he took Yuji's "you don't have to take the role of the villain" to heart to me

sukuna is such a petty brat and I wouldn't want him any other way. I think the reason he hated on yuuji so much is because he reminded him too much of himself while also being nothing like him. yuuji and sukuna are two sides of the same coin. yuuji even said so himself “sukuna… you are me” 

during the shinjiku arc the fandom has been pointing out how yuuji was slowly morphing into sukuna or how yuuji is going to become another king of curses. and this could have very well been the case… if only yuuji didn’t have his grandpa. during both shibuya and shinjiku arc this boy has been battling his own demons and darkest instincts. when pushed to his limits yuuji turns into a cold blooded demon and we can clearly see that during his final confrontation with mahito and then over the course of his fight with sukuna.

 I’d argue that if he was rejected the way sukuna was he would’ve turned into something far more demonic than sukuna ever was (and that's a personal opinion) cause despite sharing a lot of similarities and having the same level of potential, yuuji is the one who’s the feeler between the two. he feels deeply and has an immense capacity for love but the same is true for other emotions too. that’s why I don’t like when the fandom downplays yuuji’s kindness and compassion as his default traits and think of them as his weakness that can be broken, exploited or corrupted. there is a reason why sukuna couldn't break yuuji no matter how much he tried (and oh boy… he DID try lol), because his compassion and kindness for others don't come from naiveness or because he doesn’t know any better. yuuji is kind because he actively chooses to be kind and his final moment of empathy and compassion towards sukuna, despite sukuna putting him through hell and back, is the biggest prove of that. 

yuuji is strong in ways sukuna couldn’t be and I think sukuna always knew this but never wanted to admit it or face it. even uraume admitted that yuuji has potential equal to sukuna's and uraume is like… THE BIGGEST sukuna glazer so for uraume to admit something like that means that this has always been the case. I believe that sukuna always knew that yuuji could be his equal. and the reason he kept denying it is because yuuji is nothing like sukuna.

yuuji has never felt rejected or resented by anyone in his childhood. his grandfather loved him and cared for him like he would for his own son. he taught yuuji his core values that he still holds onto till this day. sukuna never had anyone like that. people resented and persecuted him, which pushed him to grow stronger and reach heights no one else could. he wanted revenge to punish and curse those who rejected him first, because he was afraid his own curse would burn him from inside out. so when he came across yuuji, a boy just as strong, with the same potential and the same hair colour lol and realised he is still nothing like him that the only curse he’s burden with is sukuna himself… I think something must have snapped in him. I think that little cursed wretch got jealous. I mean how come this brat, this “weakling” who definitely doesn’t have the same potential as him could ever reach his heights and become as strong as sukuna if not stronger. how come he can be his equal when he’s just so… disgustingly human? it’s like some part of sukuna realised that yuuji is both strong and loved despite carrying a curse inside him, a curse he later realised he was also born with. 

I think that must have stung… knowing that due to some twist of fate, a guy that might as well be another version of him since he was made from the same soul as his… just had it better. that he didn’t have to become the strongest, a deity, a calamity to earn respect and receive love… because he had it from the start. 

so to answer to your question after my long and probably unnecessary rant lol I think the moment yuuji defeated sukuna and THEN offered him to live with him and accepted him even if the rest of the world might not, and despite putting yuuji through hell and later turning into a literal blob, meant more to sukuna than sukuna would ever be willing to admit. In that moment yuuji gave sukuna something no one else ever did - love and acceptance. I think this alone is what allowed sukuna to find peace in death. he may have lost everything, but in the end he was finally able to regain his humanity. I believe that’s why he decided to head north and start again. he died as a curse, but now he can be reborn as human, because in the end he was still loved…

and to be loved is to be changed. 

also right now I'm only enjoying phantom parade through other means (new illustrations and people who actually play it lol) since I’m not a gamer myself… but I still might stick around for a bit longer we’ll see :] 

thank you for your ask and hope to see you around too!! 

[talistheintrovert]

as somebody who has been (and remains) suicidal, I think Love For Love's Sake was written for me specifically, in the same way The Eighth Sense was.

I have no desire to speculate over the game mechanisms or what was real and what wasn't and who his sunbae *really* was because that's not the point. It's not about that, it's about the fact that suicidal people deserve compassion. It's about the fact that small acts of kindness can change everything. It's about the crushing pain of feeling left behind by everybody in your life and rejected by the people you want love from the most.

Being a human being is hard. It's harder when you have trauma. When you're mentally ill. When you're neurodivergent. When you're queer. All of those things separate you from the people around you in small, indefinable ways, and it can and will ruin your life if you let it (and even if you don't let it, sometimes it will do it anyway). I don't know about the rest of y'all but I'm in constant danger of becoming Tae Myungha. So I have no interest in exploring whether or not the ending is "real" or what made it happen, because that's not the point.

Tae Myungha entered the game broken and alone and was given a chance to make somebody else feel less like he did and he took it because he CARED. Because he had that capacity for love and strength for other people, but he couldn't find it for himself. The game made him confront that fact until he reached a point where he could actually allow himself to want things again. To want love and companionship and to feel like he *deserved* those things, because even though it's not about whether you deserve it or not, it's difficult not to feel that way. The game, and his sunbae, over and over again just wanted him to open himself up to being taken care of after leaving a life where nobody took care of him. It's tragic and beautiful and full of hope despite it all, and yeah it's morbid, but as somebody who has been where Myungha is, it also just feels very... normal. Struggling like that. Drowning under the weight of it all. The hard part is continuing even when all you want to do is give up, but this story is trying to tell us that it's worth looking for one more bright spot, trusting one more person, believing in yourself one more time.

Learning to receive love is just as important as your willingness to give it.

THAT is the point.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Is Elliot decently muscular and athletic to the people in the Border Camp? Does he realize this?

Absolutely yes, and absolutely no.

Elliot has two superhuman personal trainers. They are intensely motivated by his wellbeing, and he is intensely motivated by his desire to earn their affection.

... He doesn't have to do this, but he doesn't realise that. It was interesting for me to chart Elliot's development over years, both physically, mentally and emotionally. To me his outside is a mirror for his insides, as he grew more socially adept and confident and able to charm and negotiate, but still thought of himself as a social reject even while using those skills, despite the cognitive dissonance inherent. Elliot doesn't realise his deeper qualities attract people's love as he doesn't realise his surface qualities attract admiration.

Being unloved by your primary caregivers in childhood means you carry with you--despite evidence to the contrary, despite your own intelligence arguing otherwise--a deep-rooted conviction you are unlovable. And if you have a prickly personality (with that conviction, it's likely: neglect, like other forms of abuse, does not produce perfect victims) you're going to receive feedback that looks to you like more evidence to back up those beliefs, and you won't see the arguments against it. Elliot is observant as hell, but only sees a certain amount because of his blinkers.

... Also I do enjoy writing characters who are deeply oblivious, and providing the clues for my readers. Every character is a mystery in themselves! And the mystery is both tragic and comic.

To people in the Border Camp, Elliot's less impressive than on our side of the wall: they're accustomed to said superhuman personal trainers, but he is still remarkable enough to be remarked upon by their commander. That's especially significant as many of the 'humans' in the Borderlands have inhuman blood, and thus everyone's approach to 'can a human jump from a tall cliff and land unhurt' is 'that doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about the capacities of the species to say...'

Elliot's unquestionably seen as the jock of the council course, which would disgust him if he knew. He's picked to play the homme fatale of his school play and put in revealing outfits, and the very night of the school play while still in sexy costume he sleeps with the (widely-considered) hottest girl in school. (Having already romanced the other contestant for hottest girl in school. And then goes on to hook up with the two best-looking boys. Truly a bisexual icon among the beautiful people.) Extremely fit in all senses of the word, and to those of the Border Camp being visibly athletic is especially attractive because it indicates you're more likely to survive.

To those outside the training camp, well, he gets courted by a harpy on sight ('who is that striking gentleman? I must bring him a bouquet of dead rabbits!), propositioned repeatedly by an elf, and kissed by a mermaid during their first encounter. It is fair to suspect that some of his diplomatic missions have been helped out by people responding to him with 'he's not that diplomatic but... that ass.'

To the people of our world, as Jase testifies, Elliot is clearly the product of fairly intensive athletic or military training.

I remember one post that says 'he is so tall and so ripped' and another one saying he is totally jacked and the fastest man alive.

... I endorse them both.

[keikakudom]

another old note I have about how Alastor & Vox's friendship ended

I think the idea is cute and dramatic that Alastor and Vox's friendship ended after Vox was so lovestruck and got overzealous, confessing to Al, only to get burned. 

But. 

Consider the following:

Vox and Al worked together for decades(give or take 20 years), they're best friends and know exactly how each other operate. Vox knows the reaction Al will give him if he confesses, especially that he wants Al as a romantic partner.

So Vox never does, not for years. He lives off being in Al's  presence and company alone, and is contempt with that. For years. It gets frustrating, and hard to hide that Vox wants to go the extra mile. Alastor, naturally, spots the minute expressions on Vox everyday, and what does he do about it? Well he /teases/ Vox about it! Teases Vox affectionately about how often he flusters, messes up, short circuits, unknowing(or knowingly...) that it's not because Vox is just a silly picture box, incompetent at doing work without help. It's because of Al himself. 

Gradually, Vox gets tired of this treatment. It's like chasing something he will never catch, a fishing line of meat indefinitely dangled infront of a shark. 

And maybe, after all these years - Vox doesn't even love Al with the same capacity at tht point anymore. 

By the time Vox confesses-- it's not out of puppy love. It's an ultimatum. You don't want to love me romantically? I can live with that. But will you atleast be by my side, in work? That you see and want me in any mutual sense possible. That I know the minute you tire of me, that I don't entertain you, everything between us won't be discarded? That worry consumes him the most. We have something to signify we are together. Vox needs something to show for all their friendship. Alastor is content with his say-so alone(something something nature/conception of radio. He IS the source. The originator of info).

So, moment of confession and Alastor --

A) doesnt take Vox's proposal seriously, "you're far too incompetent as a work partner"

B) is offended by Vox, who got too close and Al thinks Vox sees Al as vulnerable enough to need to ally with anyone(Not in weakness, but in capability. Al is very obsessed with his cryptid, detached from humanity, persona).

(Vox would still get all bashful and romantic though. He's just suddenly reminded why it wouldn't work out and why he pressured himself to force this decision after Alastor rejects him).

Either way, Alastor didn't want to appeal to Vox's needs even once. I feel like even in a friendship, there still has to be some sort of sway and compromise here and there, but it was just so suffocatingly one-sided for Vox. Fondness turns to hate, and we all know the story from there.

In their current rivalry status:

- Vox can throw a huge tantrum all he wants, slander and hatepost about Alastor on every big screen in Hell - show everyone that HE HATES THIS FUCKER.

- But in part, Alastor/as the Radio Demon being the (not literally but I feel his personality leans towards radio symbolism) originator/source of information, he is comfortable not caring about their feud because at the end of the day he is confident Vox isn't over him, or will continue to like/love him. 

- That isn't to say Alastor isn't bitter in his own way. He and Vox had a good thing going on but 'oh Vox had to go and ruin that'. So he just expresses that with his own opinions by demeaning Vox's tech and using his own actions to prove that he doesn't need Vox or any of his proprietaries in ANY capacity whatsoever. Very telling. 

[heian-era-housewife]

Going North

This is not a fic. But it is a story. My story. Or at least, part of it.

When I started this blog I wanted to maintain as much anonymity as possible. Six months in and here I find myself publicly journaling my most guarded secrets. Funny how things change.

Warnings: ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Please proceed with caution. I have done my best to put the appropriate tw/cw tags in place, but be aware this post mentions nonconsensual sex, SA, suicide, mental health, mental illness, grief, and loss.

I'm writing to you from the depths of a very severe depressive episode and hoping that, in doing so, I may start to find my way out.

So...where do I begin?

For those who don't know I am, regrettably, American. This election has affected me more profoundly than I could ever have imagined.

I recently discovered that my entire family, including my parents- who have always been my best friends, voted for the man who represents everything I reject. Everything I despise.

This comes during a time I find myself exploring and redefining my gender identity. During a time where the healthcare system has repeatedly failed me in treatment and diagnosis of a reproductive condition. During a time when I am learning that ectopic pregnancy is a potentially fatal reality for me. While living in a state where abortion and life-saving reproductive care have been made illegal.

I was 13 the first time I was raped. With 8 months of continuous and repeated rape and sexual assault to follow. The only person I told was my family doctor. A Christian. Who told me sexual activity was an act against God. I never spoke of it again.

Not until I was 18 and had my first "real boyfriend". In explaining why I wanted to wait to be intimate, I told him my story, unaware he would weaponize it. Once again I found myself an unwilling participant in an act called "love". Only this time it was years, not months. The day I escaped I was punched in the face and thrown down the stairs. I still have a scar on my leg from fleeing my boyfriend assailant.

I ran to the safest person I knew. A friend from high school. A kind and gentle person. Someone who, in time, would show me that love and intimacy can exist in a non-toxic capacity. And though our eventual relationship would come to end in mutual respect as he came to explore his own sexuality and gender identity, I still credit him with playing a role in saving me.

Unfortunately, I was unable to return the favor when, just two months ago, he took his own life on the eve of his 30th birthday. I can't say for certain why he chose to end his journey, but I can only imagine that his race as a POC and sexuality were attributing factors as we stare down a future of continued systemic hate and bigotry.

In some ways, I still consider myself lucky. I never became pregnant. I never lost hope in finding love. I am married to a wonderful man who supports my every endeavor. His kindness is unrivaled, and his empathy knows no bounds. He meets me in my darkest places. He reminds me why I must continue to fight- to live. Even on the days I no longer want to...

And now, with the recent election, and the terrifying days ahead, I can't help but feel sometimes that it really is me and him against the world.

My family has chosen to stand behind a man who promised to lower the price of eggs, while creating a country wherein my life and those of countless other are at risk. Where it seems our validity as human beings is in question.

I am not even sure how I am supposed to continue a normal job, when every waking moment I am revisited by the traumas of my past with people shouting "Your body, my choice". Or fearing that another friend may take their life in the wake of the hatred that is blooming here.

I miss my parents. I used to call them every day. Now I am unsure how to even speak with them.

I am unsure of a lot of things.

In large part thanks to friends I have made here, I have begun the process of seeking further psychological support and evaluation.

Moving forward, I also plan to put more time and energy into my art. I am currently seeking ways to support myself financially in a work-from-home capacity as my deteriorating mental health is making working a regular job nearly impossible at the moment.

I'd like to remain active on this blog and continue building friendships over the love of JJK- something that, as silly as it is, brings me so much joy.

I hope that, if you've read this far, you'll continue this journey with me. And if you have read this far, thank you so much for being part of my life, sharing in my memories, my grief, my struggles. Thank you for listening to this story. Hopefully the next few I post will be more cheerful, and fictional, of course.

Thank you also to my international friends who have shown so much incredible love and support. You have no idea how much it means to be extended a friendly hand in a time where the world is justifiably furious with and untrusting of Americans.

I want to fight for a brighter future. I want to see what happens if we don't give up. I am determined to find peace and to one day look back on this post and be glad I chose to go North.

With love and gratitude,

Yuri 🩷

[mai-komagata]

about the "snw can't do vulcans" take

One thing I've seen over and over said in the reactions to the sdcc 2024 clip is that "SNW doesn't know how to write vulcans/has a very bioessentialist take on vulcans".... And that *specifically* Henry Alonso Myers cannot write vulcans (even though we have no idea who wrote the clip episode, afaik, i might have missed it, my bad if so). Which I find completely baffling. Every vulcan in SNW has been wildly different than any other background vulcan we have seen in the entire run of the series. 

(For one, they aren't giving every vulcan a logical bowlcut. Every other series pretty much insists their haircut is mandated by Surak or something -- even the visual language around them is different. Even though both T'pau and T'pring have interesting hair in TOS, as does amanda, who lives the vulcan way. i digress. i just love vulcans displaying personal expression). But yeah, what vulcans do we see in SNW? I'm gonna skip over spock because people have very strong opinions over 60 years about what makes a good spock characterization that has nothing to do with characterizing vulcans in general. First, T'Pring. Huge improvement in what we see in TOS. She isn't coldhearted. She loves spock. She gets annoyed by her mom and has struggles of her own. She is kickass at her job. She can match Spock in getting out of hijinks with logical thinking. She is smart and pragmatic. She wears beautiful clothes and is interested in building a strong relationship, and is willing to engage in human culture. We also have T'pring's mom. She is on the other end of the spectrum. She is very into traditional values even when it will make her angry and illogical. She is into proper appearances and doesn't go in for indulgence. She is a bit cruel, too, not just because of her prejudices to spock, but to her daughter and her husband. Then we have T'Prings dad. What a joy of a character. He is nothing like a stereotypical vulcan. He wants to try new things. He is fascinated by tastes and experiences. In many ways, though, he embodies IDIC and compassion much better. He also has a childish joy to him. We also have a V'tosh Katur prisoner in Spock Amok. He is extremely prejudiced of spock -- showing that dislike of humans isn't a prejudice linked to the teachings of Surak, but something orthogonal to that. He is extremely punchable and gets punched. its great. We have a background character that works with T'pring. She is there for a brief scene, but i loved that they resisted the temptation to put her in a "vulcan haircut" and gave her something distinct. We have Sybok, who is dating a non-binary pirate. I love that for him, great addition to his character.

There is Vice Admiral Pasalk, in Una's trial, which Spock hates from his time working with his dad. He is a stickler for the law, but also a vindictive MF, willing to punish Batel despite her doing her job to the best of her abilities despite her personal reservations. There is a Vulcan judge on the panel, who *is* willing to judge in Una's favor, proving that all vulcans aren't voting/thinking in lockstep when adjudicating law, as well. Finally, there is the Vulcan who rejected Chapel's application and then tries to get her back when he hears she met the Kevorkhians -- this vulcan does have the traditional vulcan hairstyle, lol. He is probably the most stereotypically vulcan of the bunch. But yeah... I'm not sure where people are getting that SNW writes/depicts cookie-cutter biologically race determined vulcans when it has written more different types of vulcans than any series other than Enterprise (and that was over the course of 4 seasons...). and I will note most of these vulcans are in episodes Henry Alonso Myers wrote. (although as one of the showrunners along with Akiva Goldsman, they are involved in all the episodes to some capacity). Maybe because they don't like how it characterizes Spock in particular? But Spock is not all Vulcans. Spock is Spock. And I don't even mean it because spock is half-vulcan. I mean it because Spock is one of the most famous characters in the western canon. Everyone has opinions on spock. That has nothing to do with how the show treats Vulcans as a whole. Not to mention the huge amount of things they have sprinkled in about Vulcan culture from all the shows and things they elaborate on, including lots of references to kalifee, the use of telepathy to show connection between family members, sensory differences in smell, temperature, taste, etc, descriptions of their prison system based on rehabilitation, courtship rituals, etc. There have been more interesting takes on mind melds than i have seen on any star trek show. They repeatedly emphasize that Vulcans have strong emotions and what they need to do to control it. 

Anyway -- this is why I'm not gonna assume the writers of SNW suddenly got amnesia and forgot everything they knew about Vulcans based on a 5 minute clip. (as with everything, i'll caveat, i could be wrong, and its a bad episode --- but just because it is a bad episode it doesn't invalidate everything they did with vulcans so far. have i mentioned i want to adopt tpring's dad?). ------------

Non-vulcan specific opinions i've also seen and don't want to make a separate post of: Couldn't they use surgery instead of this serum?: I don't know! neither do you, because we haven't seen the episode. I wonder if wherever they are going on mission requires a more thorough camouflage. Or maybe it has something to do with the research Chapel has been doing since s1 e1. I'm very intrigued as to what they possibly could be doing with a lirpa on a mission. Ok but why does snw have so many genetic modification plotlines: Because that is a question SNW has chosen to engage in in a sci-fi manner, through characters like La'an, Chapel, and Una. like it is one of the big recurring themes in the story -- is all genetic therapy doomed to eugenic applications? Is genetic therapy desirable? what things will it be used for? Are the answers we considered 60 years ago the same as they are today, with the advent of CRISPR and adult stem cell treatments? That the serum represents what vulcans are "really like": We don't know why they are in communication with the kerkhovians, who have previously been shown to be uncaring and bureaucratically inflexible aliens. Why are we assuming their serum is what "biological vulcans" really are like, when we know they screwed it up with 1. how long it lasts and 2. with whether it would work on a lanthanite. And previously they screwed up in assuming spock would want to be fully human, and that spock being spock was a mistake. (they are explicitly shown as bad/intransigent aliens in Charades. they aren't neutral helpful aliens, they are unreliable narrators in that way). That newbie Vulcans should just be Romulans: Well, no, Romulans *also* have their own culture, just because it is not the teachings of Surak doesn't mean Romulans also don't have their own inflexible codes of honor, duty, etc that *they* have adopted in order to regulate their society, which are more similar than different from Vulcans. Romulans aren't pre-reform Vulcans. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as "one type" of pre-reform Vulcan. We've never seen pre-reform Vulcans. Surak didn't emerge in a vacuum. Lots to explore here, and would love to explore the implications after seeing the episode. Why is racism against spock genetic: maybe their literalness/pedanticness/lack of a filter is something that comes more naturally. Romulans do have a sect built entirely around Radical Candor, and Vulcans famously "do not lie." Maybe overcoming being overly literal when its not charitable is part of the lesson they learn/struggle with. Also, there are plenty of biological reasons one might suddenly lack a filter/not be thinking clearly/acting out of character that could come with the serum. 

There was something else I meant to be doing instead of this. (sleeping, maybe?).... But im just bursting with so much speculation from the clip. My brain has just been spinning with theories. 

[lesbianboyfriend]

tell me about this btvs sexual violence thesis…..

okayyy i’ve been talking around this on my blog forever bc i haven’t had the mental capacity to make a coherent post about it but let me try now!!! i have some older posts that touch on some of these ideas too—i’ve linked a couple of them where relevant but honestly i could not find a bunch of them…but they are somewhere in my btvs lb tag. also note: i’m definitely still workshopping these ideas so id love to hear thoughts/rebuttals/expansions/whatever !!! it’s also all right now mostly working off my own thoughts/observations so i definitely want to do some research….i hope to one day write an actual essay about this

basically the summation of the buffyverse sexual violence thesis is that there is a narrative of sexual violence that is haunting the story. it goes pretty much unaddressed by the narrative at large, but it’s the crux of almost everything that happens.

i think there are two very obvious standout moments in btvs that highlight this sexual violence (the theory at large also encompasses angel but as i’m not entirely done watching it yet im gonna focus on buffy here, though i did touch on it briefly in a recent post about cordy’s death) which are the first slayer story and the spike attempted rape scene. going to talk about the first slayer first cause i think it’s kind of the framework for everything but important to note in terms of info that we get we + the characters aren’t aware of the first slayer story until after the rape scene.

imo the story of the first slayer is deeply deeply coded as a story of sexual violence. it’s about a woman being violated by a group of men who literally chain her down and force something into her. already, we’ve seen how being the slayer has isolated and harmed buffy, kendra, faith….its treated as almost a desirable, enviable position of honor (somewhat similar to how being a victim of sexual assault is sometimes painted as meaning the victim was “desirable”) but particularly once given this context, it’s hard to view being chosen as the slayer as anything but an act of violence against these women.

this is important to note because in a sense, it’s the slayer who upholds the moral binary of the buffyverse where good=soul, human and bad=no soul, demon. now this binary pretty much falls apart upon the slightest examination, because the story would not be as interesting if it was that simple. so there are multiple demon or otherwise characters who straddle this moral boundary—INCLUDING the slayer who not only straddles but enforces it. the outlier characters are presented as just that, outliers to this system, not indicators of its flaws. they are only good insofar as their goodness is directed towards maintaining the system. assimilation, not liberation.

okay, so, the spike rape scene. what’s notable about this scene is that it is, to my knowledge (?), the only moment of sexual violence that is explicitly named as an act of sexual violence. even in angel, which i feel has more overt moments of sexual violence, it’s not actually usually named as such. but what happens in this scene is explicitly named as a rape attempt. it is by far the most significant moment of sexual violence in btvs. so what exactly is going on with this scene?

now, there’s a lot that could be said and discussed about like, spike as a character, his motivations, etc (currently cooking up some thoughts about this myself), but for the purpose of this analysis i want to look strictly at what role spike is playing narratively in season 6. so, looking at this on a doylist level but NOT to be conflated with me excusing his actions on a watsonian level. anyways if we think about it season six is kind of a rejection of the larger moral order previously presented by btvs…i’ve talked about this vis-à-vis the demon/human evil/good binary and how season 6 really troubles those binaries. a lot of the season is about buffy grappling with these notions that perhaps her moral worldview is not correct—which leads to her spike. she’s previously made allowances for spike in this worldview, so she uses him as a sort of vehicle for exploring alternate theories. unlike the other demons we’ve seen allowances made for, spike is not “good” in the sense that btvs posits goodness for demons. he has done “good” things and he can’t hurt humans, but he is pretty explicitly still doing a lot of evil stuff. so spike gets to exist in the greyest area of any btvs character—his chip troubles the binary of who is and is not good/evil, not to mention who is morally killable under this worldview.

through her relationship with spike, buffy joins him there in that grey area. HER humanity (goodness) is questioned, which is not something that’s previously been up for serious debate. i talked before about how the slayer inherently straddles that binary, but as i said, both the characters and the viewers aren’t aware of that at this point. all of a sudden, there’s a total moral upheaval that creates lots of conflict….and this rejection of the prior moral order and exploration of what lies beyond it is what makes season 6 so compelling.

BUT season 6 isn’t the last season. and as we all know, season 7 kind of sucked!!! and went seriously hard on reifying that good/evil binary. so how did we get that wild shift between seasons? the rape scene.

as we know, “real evil” is only done by demons despite the countless terrible things we’ve seen human characters do. when spike tries to rape buffy, it cements him firmly back into the realm of monstrosity. violence, evil, whatever, they’re all signifiers of a monstrosity that removes the character of their humanity. we see this argument time and time again irl when people argue that people who do bad things are no longer human, thus rejecting the idea that they themselves are also capable of those bad things. this is why it’s so important that this moment is named as rape, as sexual violence, unlike the other instances. with the attempted rape, spike is ousted out of his grey area, back into “evilness”. buffy, as his victim this time, necessarily returns to the opposite side of the binary as him. buffy stops fighting against her role as slayer—she stops questioning the veracity of the system. in fact, she goes on to expand it, violating even more women in the name of “good.” spike realizes he has to conform to this moral order in order to “have” buffy (much to be said about that another time lollll) and regains a soul, the necessary signifier of his “goodness” and willingness to support the system he once troubled so severely. thus, the moral order is restored through an act of sexual violence, highlighting exactly how it predicated on the very sexual violence it claims to abhor.

some loose notes on other working parts of the thesis:

-general historical connection of vampire stories to sexuality (carmilla, dracula, etc)

-vampirism as sexual predation (penetration, vampires picking victims by seducing women at clubs)

-mystical pregnancy (in angel especially: cordelia, cordelia again, darla, cordelia…..) as a violation in and of itself and also a vehicle towards death

-angel and buffy in general. him being attracted to her since she was. 14

-sex with buffy returning angel to evil? not sure exactly how this would fit in yet but. there’s something there

-spike’s entire attitude for women

-xander’s whole deal

-as a matter of fact the way that pretty much every male character is misogynist

-episodes ted and billy (angel) -> presenting violence against women as stemming from an inherent monstrosity (billy somewhat contradicting this? but also reifying it. it’s left unclear tbh)

-darla in angel season 2 as a parallel to buffy in season 6…need to think more on this one as well

-dana….

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Venus enters Pisces (pre-retrograde zone)

Thursday, January 2 - Friday, January 10, 2025

Venus is going to be in Pisces for longer than eight days! It’s just that this transit can be divided into three segments: the initial ingress (January 2), then Venus’ greatest eastern elongation (January 10), and finally when Venus enters her pre-retrograde shadow (January 28). Each segment has a very different “feel,” and I decided to write about them separately.

Venus is traditionally said to be in her exaltation in Pisces, which is akin to her staying at somebody else’s house where she feels comfortable. The first few days you know you’re in love with someone - not necessarily a romantic partner, I always think of my kids - when you’re all starry-eyed and gooey? That’s a Venus/Pisces feeling.

Because Venus is spending so much time in Pisces in 2025, and because her retrograde zone will start in Pisces, it behooves us to look at how and where this placement needs some work.

One of the ways Venus/Pisces can go wrong is the stereotypical Mutable-sign commitment phobia. (“I’m too sensitive to have to make a choice.”) It can manifest also as a turning-away from having to do anything unpleasant. (“How can you ask me to do something so icky?”)

But I think this time, we’re all going to be working on boundaries. That is always a challenge for any water sign: water has no shape of its own, so takes the shape of its container. Let me quote from The Book of Air by astrologer Steven Forrest, in his delineation of Venus in Pisces:

Dealing With The Shadow: I resolve not to become a ghost in my own relationships. There are some things I do not need to accept in another person. I need to be clear about those boundaries - and to leave any relationship that is not serving my higher spiritual purposes. I affirm that I have the right to do exactly that. I reject the drunken torpor and toxic stability of bad love.

Here’s how the issues may play out in Venus’ areas:

Art - feeling torn or conflicted between two different modes of expression; other people not approving of or understanding our creativity and creative processes.

Beauty - impossible standards (photoshop, AI) that no living human can match; finding beauty in what others deem ugly.

Love - being a doormat, or creating a doormat; not knowing what we really want in a relationship; pining away.

Money - poverty mentality; splurging on aesthetics; blowing the paycheck on escapism (drugs, booze, TV).

This is “just” the kickoff to our Venus/Pisces experience. I think it’s going to make itself felt with the proverbial bang, based on the aspects. We could feel the effects as early as the 1st, and they may linger through the 5th:

Thursday, January 2 - Saturday, January 4:

Venus/Pisces trine Vesta/Scorpio, 0°07’

Venus/Pisces inconjunct Mars Rx/Leo, 0°54’

Venus/Pisces semi-sextile Pluto/Aquarius, 1°10’

It starts out with good intentions; that trine really wants to make connections and amends. The problem is the Mars-Pluto opposition and its “grim realization” vibe. Here’s the “boundaries” piece: how much are we willing to tolerate from others? Is there a limit to how much we can adjust/bend without breaking? Are we the only one compromising? What does a healthy relationship look like, anyway? And what is really required of our capacity to love, going into the Pluto/Aquarius years?

[morganbritton132]

your little eddie TikTok saga is the HIGHLIGHT of my day and I love checking it at work to help me get through the Eight Hours of Capitalist Bullshit; yesterday I had a thought that might be funny to share - a friend in college told me about how their family adopted a dog that had gone through all the service dog training but was rejected for its temperament, and how they had to basically put childproof locks on everything in the house because the dog knew how to open doors / cupboards and turn on the lights. now, Ozzy is a Good Boy and would never use his training for Shenanigans, but there is another member of the Munson household, one clever enough to leave and fetch help when her human is hurt, who grew up watching Ozzy turn the lights off when Steve had a headache or open the cupboard to get medication or fetch various items when Steve is too dizzy to stand up, and she would have zero compunctions about using such knowledge to be an Absolute Menace. Just imagining the chaos Joan would wreck as a clever cat who has learned All the Tricks but Answers to No One makes me giggle; Eddie's TikTok compilation would be hysterical.

First, I come up with most of the ideas for this saga while I’m at work because working sucks so I’m happy I lessen the burden of living in a capitalist hellscape in some capacity. Second, yes. Yes. Absolutely yes.

I love this because Steve and Eddie’s house would be tailored to make turning on and off lights and opening doors easier for Ozzy which then makes it easy for Joan to do these things with malicious intent. She is a perfect combination of Eddie’s chaotic gremlin energy, Steve’s pettiness, and Ozzy’s training.

She will turn on the light in any room that she’s in but can’t be bothered to turn them off. Eddie and Steve close the pets out of their bedroom for obvious reason? Nope. Joan wants in there and she will not only open the door but also send it into the wall with force, scaring everybody including herself.

They had to start putting the dog and cat food in bins because she’d get in the cabinet and tear the bag open if they are a few minutes late feeding her.

The cabinet that stores all of their medication and their first aid kit is deemed The Very Important Cabinet. It is where anything health-related goes. It’s super important. Joan will get into the cabinet and put her toy mice in there. Steve has opened that cabinet door, a toy mouse has fallen out, and Steve has literally fled the room.

Eddie swears that the only thing keeping Joan in the house is that she does not want to leave and that they never changed the doorknob on their front door to make it easier for an animal to open.

I do think it’s very funny if Ozzy uses his training for selfish purposes sometimes but only when Steve is not there. Steve never brings Ozzy on his semi-monthly platonic date with Robin so it’s just Ozzy, Joan, and Eddie at that house. Ozzy loves Doritos so if he gets a bag out of the cabinet and tears it open then that’s on Eddie for not paying attention.

Eddie tries to tell Steve about it but Ozzy knows how to open the lid to the trash and cleans up after himself. Steve never believes him.

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 14/?

Prev | Next

Surprise chapter!!!!

Jason dreamt he was floating. The stars were shining above him. He had to get to them. He floated higher and higher… Then he was falling…falling…

Jason opened his eyes. He was floating over his house.

What the actual ever-loving FUCK?!

Jason was freaking out. Suddenly, he stopped floating and fell. Just as he was about to hit the roof, he felt a jerking motion and was floating again. He looked up and saw Danny holding Jason by his arm. Danny gently set Jason on the ground.

“What the fuck,” Jason tried not to curse around Danny, but he felt what had just happened justified his language.

His son had the audacity to giggle, giggle!

“Your powers are coming in, dad. Since you’ve been around me these past few months, the yucky ectoplasm stifling your core has been filtered out, and now your powers are showing!”

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the ever-loving FUCK?! He knew Danny, Jazz, and sometimes Raven would hint (tell him) that he wasn’t human, but he never thought (admitted to himself) it was true!

What was he going to do?

No metas in Gotham.

He wasn’t in Gotham. He wasn’t even a meta; he was dead. Or halfway there, anyway.

Just another reason for da—Bruce to hate me.

No, that didn’t matter. Bruce was nowhere near them. He couldn’t reject or judge Jason anymore.

He’d already judged me, Jason thought hysterically, and he found me lacking!

Jason’s spiraling was stopped by a small, cold hand on his face.

“Daddy, is it—is it that bad to be like me?”

Jason felt Danny’s emotions.

Sad, confused, not enough, wrong, wrong—wrong!

Jason got Danny and held him toward his chest. He sent waves of reassurance to Danny.

“Oh baby, no, I’m sorry. There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m sorry if I made you think I felt that way. It’s just a bit scary to wake up and find out that you’re not fully human. It has nothing to do with what you—what we are. I promise.”

Jason sent out feelings of love and acceptance.

Jason heard the door open, and Jazz came out with Ellie in her arms. Both their eyes were glowing.

(Jason was sure his eyes were glowing, too.)

“Don’t worry, daddy. I’ll teach you how to use your powers. It’ll be great!”

Jason smiled at the little boy in his arms. It was scary, but he had a new connection with his son. He shouldn’t be thinking about what Bruce would think. Fuck him; he lost all rights to Jason and Jason’s family.

Besides, right now, he had better things to think about like how he’ll be able to get a giggling floating Ellie from the ceiling. He wondered what other powers he would develop.

“That’d be great, Danny lad.”

His son smiled, and Jason felt his son’s love surrounding him; he hoped Danny could feel Jason’s, too.

“Wait till you hear yourself chirp the first time,” Jazz yelled from the door.

“Wait, what?!”

____

It may have been years, but Alfred still had his connections to the British secret services. He used those connections to find his grandson.

The pictures he was staring at shocked him a little. A boy with black hair and blue eyes was laughing as Jason (with red hair) chased him. A woman, another red-hair, watched them both amused as she cradled an infant who looked a lot like the little boy.

The other pictures showed the little boy and Jason shopping and walking around a small town. There was one of them leaving a small road. Alfred guessed that was the road that led to where they lived.

Alfred read the paperwork that came with the picture.

Brother and sister (Jasmine “Jazz” and Peter “Jay” Jason Nightingale) raising their children. Daniel “Danny” Nightingale, son of Jay (mother died at childbirth), and Danielle “Ellie” Nightingale. Daughter of Jazz and Roger Burns. The father left before Ellie was born, so both siblings decided to move in together. They both live in a small house in Tadoussac, Canada.

The forgeries are excellent and will hold in any government capacity.

Alfred looked at Jason’s smiling face and then at the little boy’s. He wouldn’t tell the family he found Jason but would keep the photo.

After all, a grandfather deserved to have pictures.

IDK if anyone guessed Alfred, but yeah, here it is

Jason finally came into his powers no more floating Ellie freaking out Jason. Now, he's gonna freak when HE floats lol

@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon

[dross-the-fish]

What's your fave goth lit? Is it The Phantom of the Opera?

It isn't. I do love The Phantom of the Opera but if I had to pick a favorite it would be Frankenstein. Ironically I get invited to a lot of Phandom spaces and then end up doing nothing but lurking because they're all very centered around the AWL Musical, which I think is fine but not all that interesting. A lot of people assume that Erik must be my favorite Goth Lit character because I talk about him a lot but they're always surprised to learn that my main blorbo and the subject of most of my doodles is the Frankenstein Creature.

I think the reason I prefer The Creature comes down to his unnatural origins juxtaposed with the very mundane and ordinary humanity he displays throughout the novel. his desires are simple and relatable. He wants to be acknowledged by the person who created him, his parent. He wants love and companionship as any person does, and the way he tries to obtain it is so misguided and destructive that by the time his humanity is acknowledge by Walton at the end it's too late for him. He has become a monster in the way that only a human being can be. He was born innocent and then became flawed and corrupt, in part through his rejection by mankind and in part by his own choices. It was his fall from grace that ironically gave him the very humanity he was denied. This is largely my own interpretation but I feel like that's what ultimately make him whole, the capacity for great good and great evil. Had he stayed innocent and benevolent through his whole journey he would have been much less interesting to me and felt more like a martyr or archetype than a complete character with nuance. Despite his appearance and his superhuman abilities the being Victor created was a deeply flawed human at his core and when he fell from grace he fell hard and took innocent lives down with him. He taught himself how to walk, speak and dress and then he taught himself how to kill and how to regret. Victor created a monster and the monster created of himself a man. You can say this also applies to Erik but he is never as isolated as the creature, he has the Daroga, and to an extend Madame Giry. He manages to survive and if people think he's not human it's largely because that's what he wants them to think. He created the Angel of Music and the Phantom of the Opera. It's very interesting to delve into Erik's psyche and to cross examine him but in the end I am a little more moved and a little more compelled by The Creature.