#How long have I been gone?... [WORLDBUILDING/LORE]

[ask-order-firebrand]

there's a fairly large bird that somehow got in the facility. Her once firey feathers are dull, and she looks somewhat hurt. She sees the test tube, and immediately starts honking and squawking, pacing all around the test tube, flapping her wings, and pecking the tube. She seems pretty distressed...

(even when indoors, it’s still cold down there… dosnt seem like the room has been touched in years.)

(….. she dosnt seem to be getting a reaction. Other then the occasional muffled sound of something moving in liquid… but it doesn't seem to be in reaction to her…)

[gay-jesus-probably]

Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.

But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?

I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.

So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?

I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.

So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.

The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.

The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.

[lexirosewrites]

I read a fic a long time ago where omegas tend to have a second wave of the omega-verse version of baby fever when their pups have all left the nest. And recently my brain kind of mushed that concept together with the idea of omegas losing their heats if they’re under too much physical/emotional stress and ended up with the thought:

What if pups gave off pheromones that sort of dampen the heat/rut cycle of adults who scent them regularly? So generally only parents, since teachers and other people who work with children don’t scent them and siblings generally stop scenting each other gradually as they age. But excellent babysitter Steve Harrington either didn’t get that memo or doesn’t care. Normally there is a resurgence in the intensity of the heat/rut cycle if regular scenting stops, generally referred to as empty-nest cycles, these are most common in middle age and are usually tempered by the hormonal changes leading into menopause. Steve, who started regularly scenting a group of middle schoolers before graduating high school, is decades off from even the start of those hormonal changes.

Combined with the stress of dealing with the Upside Down Steve hasn’t had a full, normal heat since 1983. But then the Upside Down is gone and he starts getting his heats back, and he hasn’t had one in years so he doesn’t really notice how weak they are. Until the Party leaves town for college and Steve realizes that he’s been having the heats of a 50-year-old mother of six, but now he’s having the empty-nest heats of a middle-aged omega but with the intensity of being in his 20s, healthy, and decades from menopause.

Basically, baby-fever has become a legitimate threat to his health.

I’ve been imagining it as a Steve/Eddie story but Steve/Corroded Coffin definitely also has potential.

Oh my goodness, this is great! I love some good omegaverse lore/worldbuilding.

I don't know if you have any intention of making this into a full fic, but you should consider it because this sounds like a mess waiting to happen and I'd love to read it!

[dailydragons]

I am not immune to this propaganda…

Do you like long fantasy series, but are tired of authors never finishing them?

Do you like interesting magic systems?

Do you like when characters form intense even psychic bonds with animal companions?

Do you like your heart getting ripped out of your chest and then stuffed back in full to bursting and but then ripped out again to get stomped on but it turns out you like that too uhhh let's call it... intense yearning

Do you like dragons? Of course you do, why else would you be on this blog!

WELL DO I HAVE THE BOOK SERIES FOR YOU!

The Realm of the Elderlings is a 16-book series is comprised of four trilogies and a quartet. All of which have been finished. Yes that's right, Robin Hobb saw other authors who can't seem to finish their multi-book fantasy epics and said "I will finish mine 4 different times to show you it's incredibly easy actually." She also has written multiple other series (some under the pen name Megan Lindholm), set in different universes.

So, where to start?

The components of RotE are:

The Farseer Trilogy

The Liveship Traders Trilogy

The Tawny Man Trilogy

The Rain Wild Chronicles

Fitz and the Fool Trilogy

The three bolded trilogies above are told from the perspective of FitzChivalry Farseer, one of the main/major characters in this universe and my eternal blorbo. The Liveship Traders trilogy and Rain Wild Chronicles are told from several points of view, and happen in chronological order between the series above and flesh out the worldbuilding, lore, history, etc.

For the most complete look at the universe, you can of course read everything. However if you want to stick with just one character, you can read the three bolded trilogies only. And of course, if you don't want to commit to a metric ton of words either way, you can just read the first trilogy and see what you think. Though I do think the levels of joy/pain/adoration increase with each work as you get more invested in the characters, of course.

OR. You can in fact read the Liveship Traders trilogy or the Rain Wild Chronicles quartet completely independently of the others. I actually started with Rain Wild Chronicles because those books have the highest concentration of dragons--it was actually a follower of this blog who recommended them to me, and I decided to jump into those rather than commit to The Whole Series (which at the time was only 13 books not 16). But I loved the writing style and wanted to learn more about the world, so got into the rest, and now I actually think the Rainwilds books are the weakest of the bunch (though I still enjoyed them initially)!

But You're Following This Blog, DailyDragons, So Here's The Part Of The Pitch You're Actually Invested In

Now I will be up front that you don't get many dragons in the first trilogy. There are a kind of dragons that appear at the end but dragons are not the main focus of this one. However Hobb learns from her mistakes about not including tons of dragons in her fantasy world and you get more in the next parts of the series.

The Liveship books deal with sea serpents and dragons in very interesting ways I don't want to spoil, though it's a slow build. But VERY fascinating reveals into the dragon's biology, life history, and magic.

The plot of the later half of the Tawny Man Trilogy revolves around dealing with how the world of this story used to have dragons but they have practically gone extinct. Less direct contact with dragons but still a dragon-centric last book.

Rainwilds is chock full of dragons. Including as POV characters. Can't complain about lack of dragons here at all.

Fitz & The Fool Trilogy is lighter on the dragons at first and then they show up en force at the end. Ta da!

anyway please read these books and join me in my eternal suffering. wait, suffering? nevermind who said that. shhh. it's fine. you will love fitzchivalry farseer. you will love the fool. you will never be the same again.

[grifff17]

Audio Drama Sunday 8/18/2024

There was so much new stuff this week. Midnight Burger, Worlds Beyond Number, World Gone Wrong, and Wanderer's Journal all release an episode every other Tuesday, and this Tuesday was that day. Then on Wednesday 3 actual play released new episodes. I didn't actually get through everything new this week, the rest will come next week.

NEW SHOW ALERT Starwhal: Odyssey, a spelljammer-inspired actual play from the cast of Skyjacks Couriers Call, is no longer Patreon exclusive! I really liked the first 2 episodes of this show, I love the way these people do collaborative storytelling. The little things like the rent collections robot and the streaming rat were so good. At the end of the episode, the mental vision of Saach teleporting into the gamer chair was so vivid. Also, I've never heard more revulsion in a credits sequence than them crediting Wizards of the Coast for the Spelljammer setting. I'm curious about the system they're going to move to for the later episodes.

In @midnightburgr I love the new set of characters, I bet the next spinoff series going to be the Paradise. However, they can’t keep ending episodes like this. I’ve never been happier to hear the sound of the diner jumping, but Ava and the Mucklewains are gone. At least this time Ava isn't totally alone in a jerry rigged space suit. And David is joining the main cast, at least for the rest of the season!

So much happens in every @worldsbeyondpod episode, and this one had even more than most. The audio design for the opening scene goes so hard, Taylor does such an incredible job. When listening to other APs, I can't help but compare them to WBN. The King of Night loredrop was insane, Orima is apparently sworn to him? I like how the core conflict - Witches and Spirits vs Wizards - is designed to create tension and strife between the PCs. I love the intrigue of this arc so much, but Ame lying to the coven was such a massive misstep. I still think my favorite part of the show might be whenever Suvi uses identify on something plot relevant. The smell of soap from Ursulon was so mean by Brennan, callbacks to the Children's Adventure like that always break me.

I didn’t realize the new season of @storiesfromylelmore was starting already, when I saw it pop up in my feed I went to bed early to go listen to it. Despite what Keryth says, her moms are super cool. Can't wait to learn more about them. Keryth’s parents giving her a magic item to make her quiet reminds me of a lot of my childhood. What my mom wouldn't have given for a silence bubble spell. There was so much worldbuilding in this episode, the quote “I don’t know what they do with them, but I think it’s better if they don’t have pieces of you” was terrifying. The final scene of the episode created such a vivid mental image, I could see the three of them in the backseat.

I also listened to ItMe's other show besides Ylelmore and InCo, Of Gods and Lanterns. It was short but sweet, with a total runtime of less than 30 minutes runtime. I really like the world, I would listen to 100 more episodes of this show.

I listened to parts 3 and 4 of the Spout Lore Critshow crossover. The Spout Lore cast on earth is so funny. The two shows really mesh so well together, this has to be the most "natural" crossover I've ever listened to.

The new season of Second Fiddles also started this week and woah the ending. I'm guessing that everyone forgot about Tammie, but Linus’s mom was unaffected because she was in the book. IIRC we've only met one character who can erase people memories, and she could only do it to one person at a time, not everyone, so I suspect 4th Wall/Macguffin shenanigans.

I also started The Cryptonaturalist this week. The tone of this show is so unique. I love the narrator. I also very quickly found that this is a perfect podcast to fall asleep to.

This post ended up really long this week. No judgement if people don't want to read the whole thing. Next week will be a lot shorter I think.

[blueskittlesart]

what do u think totk is gonna b about

OH WOW I AM SO SO SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! HERES THE ESSAY I TOTALLY DID NOT HAVE PREWRITTEN ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!

so arguably the biggest mystery left unsolved at the end of botw is the origin of ganon as we now know him -- "calamity ganon." in all other games (and by extension all known previous incarnation cycles) where "ganon" was the primary antagonist (incl. all ganon and ganondorf variants) ganon was something real, physical, and ALIVE. a man or a boar-monster, usually, but always something that was bound by the laws of nature to some degree and could be physically killed. botw departs from that formula (and by extension botw's CYCLE departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--i'll come back to this point) by showing us a ganon that is far less human than any other known incarnation of demise. even in name, this incarnation of ganon is given no personhood--it's a calamity, a force of evil with no origin and no complex thought beyond a need for destruction.

The thing is, for all the game wants the player to understand this ganon as nothing but a mindless, monstrous force of evil, it also makes a point to identify this force as GANON, incarnation of demise. seasoned zelda fans will relate the calamity back to ganondorf the human king at the first mention of its name. anyone familiar with the cyclical lore or even just the basic formula of zelda games will recognize the cycle's steps being played out in such a way that the calamity plays the part of the king of evil. for those who don't make the immediate connection, urbosa's final line after the player frees her in vah naboris cements the calamity's former personhood: "it was written that calamity ganon once adopted the form of a gerudo." it's a deliberate hint to new players that the form we see ganon take in this game is not his true one.

So what is calamity ganon? what turned the newest human incarnation of demise so deeply inhuman? what happened to the human that calamity ganon once was? why, when the calamity struck, did it rise from underneath hyrule castle, with pillars full of armed guardians ready to aid it in its destruction? these questions are what i expect will be the main focus of totk. as for their answers, i only really have my own speculation, backed by some evidence from trailers and botw, which i'll outline now because that's the whole point of this post.

botw is 10k years removed from the last known instance of an incarnation cycle, a fact which is crucial to its story and worldbuilding. while there's no official source on how long periods of peace usually last between cycles, it's obvious from context that botw has gone much longer without a new cycle than any previous game before it, if only because of how much information about the cycle itself has clearly been lost to time. this lack of information is what causes a majority of the problems link and zelda face in botw. But it raises a question for those of us who follow the lore and have noticed the discrepancy: why was hyrule able to forget this information in the first place? Why was there such a long period of peace when the cycle ought to have continued? there's no other instance in centuries of documented hyrulian history where enough time passed between cycles for the idea of the TRIFORCE to be lost to time. how did it happen before botw? the answer, I think, lies with the hero and princess of 10k years ago.

there's a LOT we don't know about the hero and princess who came before botw, obviously. and I believe their story is going to be incredibly important in totk, given how it was teased in botw. we can assume, from context, that the incarnation of demise that this hero and princess went up against was the gerudo incarnation of ganon mentioned by urbosa. What botw tells us about this cycle is that ganon was powerful enough to need legions of guardians and four divine beasts ALONG with a presumably fully-realized hero and princess to defeat him, but that, with these resources, the hero and princess triumphed. what is not confirmed, however, is what exactly HAPPENED to ganon after his defeat. one could assume that he died, because hitting a human man with a sword enough times will usually kill him. however, there's another important piece to the puzzle when looking at loz cycles: zelda and her goddess power. the thing i'm going to be focusing on here is the fact that throughout botw zelda's power is referred to specifically as a "sealing power." it's significant to me that the concept of SEALING surivived when so many other crucial pieces of the cycle did not, because, in multiple previous games, "sealing" ganon does NOT mean he dies. in both oot timelines in which link DOES NOT return to the past at the end of the game (defeat & adult), the official explanation as to ganondorf's fate is that he is "sealed" in some form, either in the sacred realm or the twilight realm. (if you don't know what those are don't worry it's not important, what's important is that he is sealed.) alttp and twilight princess, follow the aftermath of these two timelines, in which ganon has been "sealed" but not killed. in both stories, ganon (specifically the SAME INCARNATION OF GANON AS OOT) eventually frees himself from the confines of the seal and continues to terrorize hyrule. so "sealing" is not necessarily synonymous with defeat or death, and it doesn't reset the incarnation cycle for demise's spirit, it just keeps the current incarnation dormant for a while.

i hear you saying, "blue, why the fuck does any of this matter? ive been reading for so long!" and i am sorry. i promise i will get there. the important point at this point is that SEALED does not mean DEAD or even DEFEATED, and that zelda's power in botw is exclusively referred to as a SEALING POWER. we can assume that this terminology is left over from the hero and princess from 10k years ago, because, by virtue of a 10k-year period of peace, most everything that botw hyrule remembers about the cycle appears to be left over from only that previous cycle. What this means is that, upon defeat 10k years ago, human ganon was not killed, he was sealed. and as i've already mentioned, there's a precedent in these games for a sealed ganon to come back to terrorize a new cycle's hero and princess. I think it's pretty obvious that the mummified gerudo skeleton seen in the totk trailers is that sealed ganon from 10k years ago. but those trailers take place AFTER link and zelda defeat calamity ganon in botw, so why is he still there, sealed but not dead?

the most obvious explanation to me is this: calamity ganon is not ganon. botw's blights give us proof that ganon is capable of somehow reproducing itself in smaller, less powerful doses to deal with immediate threats without having to leave its shelter in hyrule castle. if you recall, calamity ganon's first phase underneath hyrule castle is essentially a rehash of the blight fights, with ganon cycling through attacks previously used by its blights (and adding some new ones into the mix, obv.) One thing that struck me when fighting it, though, is that the fight lacks one signature mechanic that's been a staple of ganon battles in the zelda franchise since at least alttp: sword pong. in almost every game involving a fight with an incarnation of ganon, there's an attack pattern in which the player and ganon have to deflect a ball of energy between each other via their weapons until one of them eventually misses a swing and gets hit. calamity ganon doesn't have this attack in his arsenal, which is strange to me because it's an iconic move for loz final battles. the only ganon battle i can think of which DOESN'T involve this mechanic is oot's shadow ganondorf, a PROJECTION of ganondorf rather than the real thing.

can you see what i'm getting at here?

I don't think botw's link and zelda have gone up against their real incarnation of demise yet. I think the calamity was one of two things: either a genuine expression of rage/escape attempt by the sealed human ganon, or a calculated attempt by him to get modern hylians interested enough in the origins of the calamity to investigate and free him accidentally. The way the pillars rose from under hyrule castle, the fact that calamity ganon smashes through the floor of the sanctum and forces link to fight in that underground chamber, it all seems to beckon you to dig deeper. we know that that mummy is somewhere under the castle. Calamity ganon was a shootoff of its power meant to lead hylians to it. this is what i meant way back when i mentioned that botw's cycle departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--link and zelda haven't actually played out the full cycle at all. what they've done is essentially the precursor to the main event--they've defeated agahnim, or zant, or ghirahim, but the true evil of this cycle has yet to be revealed. to that point, it's worth noting that, excluding shrine mini-dungeons, botw has WAY less dungeons than your average zelda title. most new-cycle titles (by which i mean games that weren't direct sequels featuring the same incarnation of a given link) are divided into 2 sections of dungeoning - the first section having 3-4 dungeons containing prize items needed to unlock some late-game functionality, and the second half having 5-7 dungeons and being accessible only after the player has completed the first section. botw has four dungeons TOTAL (not counting hyrule castle), meaning formula-wise it's essentially the first half of a cycle. i believe totk is going to be the second half of this cycle, with link and zelda having to fight the true evil -- revitalized HUMAN ganondorf.

so now we need to bring this all back to my initial point--why was there a 10k-year period of peace pre-botw, and how does any of this effect my predictions for the story of totk?

in simple terms, i think that the reason there was such a long period of peace was because 10k-years-ago-princess sealed ganon REALLY well. she probably came the closest anyone in hyrule's history has ever come to a TRUE defeat of ganon, because she managed to keep him ALIVE so he wouldn't reincarnate and SEALED so he couldn't hurt anyone for a really long time. what this implies is that 10k-years-ago princess knew on some level about the reincarnation cycle. she understood that if she couldn't keep ganon alive and incapacitated, he would revive and the cycle would start over anyway, so she did everything in her power to stop that from happening, and she did a DAMN GOOD JOB tbh. better than anyone who tried this shit before her. there are other bits and pieces of botw's story that point to the hyrulean civilization 10k years ago understanding the potential of a ganon reincarnation, most notably the fact that they buried guardians and divine beasts seemingly purposefully for later hyruleans to find and use should a new threat ever arise. this implies that 10k-years-ago hyruleans had a REALLY HIGH level of awareness about the cycle, in direct contrast to modern hyrule's REALLY LOW understanding of it. this is really important when we start thinking about totk.

we already have a decent amount of evidence suggesting that totk will deal with the events of 10k years ago and the hero involved in them. In several trailers now we've seen modern link's arm become weirdly, creepily fused with/corrupted by the arm that was holding mummified ganon in place under the castle. i think this arm is going to serve two purposes in totk. the first is a practicality thing: from gameplay footage it looks like the arm is going to basically take the place of the sheikah slate. the second purpose i think it'll serve is to be link's (and by extension the player's) connection to the events of 10k years ago. I've seen plenty of theories thrown around about what the arm is, but my personal theory is that it's some sort of prosthetic or tech that originally belonged to the 10k-years-ago hero. the way it's holding mummified ganon in place in that first teaser trailer looks less to me like an evil influence and more like something physically holding ganon down; a seal of sorts. (and in most games both the hero and princess's power is needed to seal ganon, so perhaps this is how the hero and princess managed to keep him dormant for so long: adding a physical piece of the hero to the mix?) in any case, i think that after establishing this physical connection to the 10k-years-ago hero, modern link is going to get some knowledge and flashbacks (potentially in the form of memory-style cutscenes like botw) that will serve to basically fill in all the cyclical lore that has been lost in-universe over the past 10k years. I've talked at length about how i believe link and zelda's initial failure in botw was due entirely to their lack of knowledge of the hyrulean creation myth and the REASON behind the motions they were carrying out, and i believe that by witnessing the 10k-years-ago hero and princess's journey, modern link will be given the knowledge he needs to defeat ganon.

[bloody-wonder]

starting new series (part two)

oops looks like i started ten more new series so here's another super long bookish post🫢

the series that was so good i'm prioritizing it this year is her instruments by mca hogarth (book one: earthrise). set in the same universe as my beloved cozy sci fi about an interspecies qpp, the dreamhealers, earthrise is a story about a down on her luck captain of a trading spaceship who gets roped into Wacky Hijinks after rescuing a space elf nobleman from space pirates. reese eddings has major stressed millenial going through the quarter life crisis energy so i related to her big time. her crew includes: a lion skunk centauroid, a giant bird that communicates in two word phrases and a pair of horny cat twins. yes, that vintage space opera cover doesn't want you to know it's actually a furry book lol. however, it's not about getting sexy with furries - it's about getting unsexy with space elves. speaking of whomst.

hirianthial is a tall blonde aristocratic space elf doctor and you can't touch him bc that would be too hot and inappropriate (and also he'll read your mind). reese hates him on sight bc he's a beautiful fairytale prince and she's a messy 30+yo who may or may not have been drowning her sorrows in binging space elf romance novels by the dozen. major "how dare you come to me now when i am this" scene from the last unicorn vibes. wouldn't it be embarrassing if reese's ulcer burst from anxiety and bad eating habits while they're being chased by the pirates and mr perfect had to operate on her esophagus? what a unique meet cute would that be!

lol to sum it up: i ship it, the furry crew ships it, reese is kicking and screaming refusing to accept that she's the heroine in a romance book, hirianthial manages to maintain his space elf mystique and keep calling her "lady" despite the fact that she's being a horrible little gremlin towards him and taking out all her issues on this poor man. the pacing of the romance is extremely slow, just the way i like it. one could even say this first book doesn't at all contain what an average romance reader would call "romance" - it's more about hirianthial becoming part of the crew during their various misadventures and reese learning to accept that fact. and about the horrors of meeting a very hot guy who is able to know all your deepest insecurities just from touching you. i can't blame reese, i would be cranky too😅

☝️that's me throwing away whatever you were planning to read next and bringing her instruments to your attention

series i'm going to continue next year (or whenever somebody finds time to finish writing his series):

a targaryen history by george rr martin (book one: fire & blood). as you might know, asoiaf is my favorite fantasy series of all time but i was hesitant to read this prequel lore book bc i was afraid i wouldn't like grrm's writing as much now that i've become much more well-read in fantasy and, more importantly, bc i didn't like the first season of hotd. luckily it turns out my appreciation for grrm's writing and worldbuilding is as strong as ever and maaan i just love the targaryens. i just think they're neat. they just want to marry brother to sister, you know🙂 i surprised myself by how much i enjoyed the history book format of fire & blood with its successive generations of kings and queens, multiple unreliable narrators and versions of events, trying to make sense of long gone triumphs and tragedies in hindsight. which i think is also the reason i didn't vibe with the show - it takes away this sweeping epic scope of the book, the weight of the centuries, the unrelenting pendulum of time, with individual fates nothing but blades of grass ground under the wheels of history etc etc and doesn't, in my opinion, manage to compensate for it by fleshing out the protagonists of the dance of the dragons enough for me to be able to get invested in their personal stories. i hope i'll like the second season more but i'm gonna keep my expectations low for now. i mean, it doesn't even have mushroom🍄‍🟫

the neapolitan novels by elena ferrante (book one: my brilliant friend). didn't expect to like this one so much either. most of it is good but not great - a very truthful depiction of girlhood and adolescent female friendships with their camaraderies and rivalries, a good exploration of struggling to access education as a way out of poverty, an atmospheric setting in the 50s naples - but then near the end there's a chapter where the author manages to encapsulate the characters' journeys and throw into relief the themes of the book so masterfully in so few words, using such simple yet impactful visual metaphors, i literally froze while listening to it in the audiobook and then paused whatever i was doing to sit down and reread it with my own eyes. i'm not a prose girlie so i'm rarely so impressed by an isolated piece of writing (the last time it happened was the epilogue of assassin's apprentice, as far as i remember). anyways, i obviously can't discuss it further bc of spoilers but to put it briefly ferrante succeeded in getting to the core of that special bond you shared with your teenage best friend and somehow managed to distill the essence of girlhood friendships into one single scene. chapter 57: if you know - you know🫠

the alexander trilogy by mary renault (book one: fire from heaven). when i finished the lymond chronicles several people recced mary renault's books to me bc they're also queer historical novels written around the same time (so 60-70s) - but having read the charioteer and now this first alexander book i conclude that those are their only similarities. dunnett's writing style couldn't be more different from renault's and, to be completely honest, i find the latter one extremely boring. madeline miller is actually a much better comp for renault (including the questionable depiction of female characters), except the song of achilles could at least be more explicit about the queer love story. not that i'm measuring the quality of these books by how smutty they are - in fact, the only thing i liked in fire from heaven was how renault managed to write around the scenes of gay sex while also making sure we know what's happening. anyways, normally i would just dnf a series where i was so unimpressed with the first book but as far as i understand the persian boy is really the main course here so i'll read that and then, who am i kidding, i will also read the last book in the trilogy bc of completionism. and tbh i'm not yet ready to let go of the image of myself as an elegant dark academia girlie reading classy mary renault books about ancient greece🧐

series i'm maybe going to continue sometime in the future:

london calling by alexis hall (book one: boyfriend material). enjoyed this first book much more than i expected, given that cartoon cover contemporary romance is very much out of my comfort zone and fake dating is one of my most disliked tropes. ig i just like the british humor of it all and that it really felt like those old nostalgic romcoms hall says he was inspired by. i would've liked to see oliver grapple more with how his parents fucked him up but maybe this is explored more in the sequel? which i'm hesitant to read bc it has an abysmal average rating on goodreads😬 i mean it could mean anything: maybe people are correct in that this story didn't need a sequel or maybe we're just unused to there being more to love stories after the characters get together, including more problems. alexis hall is a total discovery for me this year, i think i trust him to make it good, esp given that there really aren't any queer romance series like this out there, focused on a couple going through all the conventional stages of a relationship (dating, marriage, parenthood). but on the other hand i'd really like to hear an opinion from someone i know. so: did any of you read husband material? did you hate it too?👀

chrestomanci by diana wynne jones (book one: charmed life). this was just fine. i like wynne jones' writing and humor but i think this is the kind of book you should've read as a kid. as an adult i can't connect to its themes and characters anymore but what i can do with my adult brain is discern fatphobia🫤 seriously, this is the third time i see fatphobia in wynne jones' books - just small things that upset me and take me out of the story. wtf mam. anyways, i didn't think this book had anything interesting to offer, compared to howl's moving castle with its iconic characters or fire and hemlock with its wtf did i just read, so i was ready to dnf this series but then just the other day i saw a tumblr poll of people voting for their favorite chrestomanci book and the lives of christopher chant won in a landslide. so ig i'll read that just to be sure and then probably move on to the dalemark quartet or smth. i have an inkling i'd like a chrestomanci book focused on a different (cooler) protag more but i'm not going to prioritize it.

the tarot sequence by kd edwards (book one: the last sun). okay this one is a big maybe. like i mentioned before, i just don't like urban fantasy but i decided to try this series nevertheless bc it's so popular on queer booklr and i like to be in the know. and indeed the only thing i'm mildly intrigued by is the slowburn bodyguard romance - so slow in fact that the main guy has a completely different love interest in the first book. will i suffer through chapters upon chapters of boring urban fantasy politics just for the sake of this romance tho? not any time soon.

series i'm not going to continue:

the saint of steel by t kingfisher (book one: paladin's grace). i'm starting to suspect t kingfisher is not our blessed niche tumblr fantasy but in fact their barbarous mainstream award winning fantasy. what in the name of heterosexual lucifer was this?? lol i mean it's not a bad book or anything, ig i just didn't vibe with the religious aspect of the worldbuilding and, more importantly, the romance here is the textbook example of what i dislike in this genre: just two people being horny for each other from the moment they meet. i mean ik this is what it's like for allosexuals irl but when i see this in a book it just seems like lazy writing. the book opens with the most ridiculous meet cute ever (suffice it to say, nobody's esophagus was even involved) and if i were a normal person i would've dnfed right then and there but i forced myself to trudge through pages and pages of these two repressed middle aged people lusting after each other in cursive. which i understand is very relatable content for some readers but ig i could confirm yet again that hetero women's fantasies are not my fantasies. i finally finished it yesterday and picked up her intruments book two right away as a palate cleanser bc, as me and my book bestie like to joke, i don't want any romance in my romance lol. i was somewhat underwhelmed by thornhedge last year so i'm not really interested in kingfisher's novellas either. ig i could try other books from the white rat universe, the ones not focused on horny paladins, but maybe i shoud just accept that this author is not for me🤷‍♀️

the adventures of amina al-sirafi by shannon chakraborty. the city of brass was one of the most disappointing books i read last year but i wanted to give this author another try bc on paper her newest book seemed like the most up my alley story ever: potc are my favorite movies of all time, i completely support the middle aged woman protag agenda and if there is a thing i liked about chakraborty's writing it's that she's not afraid of setting her stories in the real historical periods of our own world and doing the research accordingly instead of just being "inspired" by foreign cultures and time periods. so i was very determined to like this book but unfortunately it didn't work out. you see, in a good fantasy adventure novel characters, plot and worlbuilding work in unison to tell a cohesive story - here on the other hand these three elements felt separate from each other. the characters seemed more like those tumblr posts showing little oc arts and listing their character traits under them than full-fledged dynamic fictional people with a function in the story. their motivation to go on an adventure and to move the plot forward, as it were, never seemed personal and important enough for me to be invested in their success. instead of serving the plot, the worldbuilding and the lore chakraborty researched and constructed so painstakingly derailed the story more often than not. as a result, halfway through the book i'm still waiting for the author to make me care about this team of misfits and the random girl they're searching but instead i'm hit over the head with the bird people island. sigh. but the biggest disappointment was ofc the demon husband😑 you can do so many sexy things with a problematic demon husband but ig chakraborty just has a unique talent for coming up with sexy ideas and bad boy love interests and then making them completely unsexy in her books. well ig i successfully confirmed this author is not for me and i won't try any of her books anymore.

the scholomance by naomi novik (book one: a deadly education). this book was released right around the time i started watching booktube so i vividly remember the controversy surrounding it. at first everybody seemed to hate it but later, when the sequels came out, there was a new wave of readers who liked the series a lot. i'm a big fan of spinning silver and uprooted (not to mention novik's work in otw) and i'm not immune to gritty magic schools by any means so i decided to give it a go. sadly, this turned out to be another dud. i have a sneaking suspicion this story was a much better piece of fiction in its past life as a drarry fanfic, before novik frankensteined it into a perfunctorily diverse, heteronormative, commercialized ya version of hp. i couldn't appreciate the worldbuilding bc it was delivered through a series of the most aggressive exposition dumps ever so the concept of this edgy school that wants to kill you just seemed silly to me. the romance was meh and the fact that i recently read in other lands that does a similar pseudo-hero/pseudo-villain dynamic much better didn't do it any favors either. i liked the abrasive personality of the main character but not so much as to force myself to continue this series in case it gets better. i'll start reading novik's dragon books instead.

2024 reading updates | goodreads

[vapolis]

Do you have a favorite bit of lore you've created for this world? Maybe not even something that will come up in depth in game, but just some random worldbuilding you are particularly proud of?

the early stages of the city and how life was there was smth I put waaaay too much thought into and it will... never come up. like not even as a side note but I liked the idea I came up with it and how the augmentations reflect the changes and how you can tell based on how they look when they came into the city or if they've been there since the beginning.

I don't think anyone remembers, but I mentioned not too long ago that I'm planning a celebration (which I still am) and one of the options was a mini game set in the past of the city which would have gone into depth of that part of Vapolis while playing a different character. you'd have played a detective in it that's recently been assigned to the city and got to know the city through their eyes. It wasn't going to be super long but would have had more of a noir cyberpunk feel. only 20% voted for that option so I figured I should scrap that idea.

I might write up a lore post in the near future regardless and put it into the actual city page in the stats though!

[fagcrisis]

i read another bad YA book: when will my suffering end

my dear friend and long time training partner viki is obsessed with the arc of a scythe series by neal shusterman, and she forced me, literally at sword-point to read the first book. it seems that my fate is to forever read bad books about teenagers where nothing really happens

scythe takes place in a world where humanity has defeated death. nanotechnology allows people to stay young forever, or old forever if they so choose, and revives people from every kind of death if their corpse is recoverable. overpopulation becomes a problem though, as humanity cannot leave the planet, and so a special group of people called the Scythes are tasked with "collecting" people to keep the number of people down. scythe faraday chooses two teenagers, citra and rowan to be his apprentices, however there is a deadly challenge awaiting the two at the end of their apprenticeship. only one of them can become a scythe, and their first task will be to collect their fellow apprentice

*i read this book in hungarian so im translating a couple of things on the fly, if i mess anything up dont tell me i doubt any of you care about this book that much

THE WORLDBUILDING is bad. the initial concept is actually fascinating i can never get enough of a post scarcity society, and the way people grapple with a utopia. as a fan of ursula k le guin i think in many cases a real utopia and its ramifications can be a lot more interesting than a dystopic world, but you could have gone the giver route with this and revealed the rot at the core of a world pretending to be perfect.

well, scythe does absolutely none of that. despite the fact that everybody is LITERALLY IMMORTAL, people still work, mostly jobs they dont even like. children go to school and are raised by their birth parents, a man and a woman. gay people exist and so do sentient robots? but neither concepts really get explored deeper than a throwaway mention, and a joke. Now, i think it could be really interesting to explore a society thoroughly frozen in a 21st century late capitalistic state, but scythe does not do that. the book takes place hundreds, possibly even thousands of years into the future and Nothing Has Changed.

I have some lore based gripes with the book, the way the scythes and their reason for existing is just not explained at all, the offhanded genocide mention, and all that but in all fairness im yet to read the second book (i will have to viki is making me) so maybe they explain all of this then.

What really does bother me though, is why do death like this? People kill themselves for fun in the world of scythe, why not just let them die? scythes are explicitly forbidden from killing people who ask them to do so. this is a world where individiual choice has been completely taken away from people, except for a select group of a few hundred who have the absolute power of gods, and cannot even be controlled by the benevolent god-king-mother AI, the thunderhead. why not use the nanobots in peoples bodies to choose who lives or dies? why not limit the number of resurrections somebody can have? why let the scythes choose who they kill and how they kill them? why let them grant immunity to people?

I think much of this book is politically uninteresting and borderline stupid at points, especially the thunderhead. the way its completely unquestioned and thought to be benevolent and perfect above all else is just absolutely crazy, but lets run with it and say it does absolutely know what is best for humanity. why let people do the killing? maybe the second book will pull some insane twist on me that explains everything but i highly doubt it will

one note about the worldbuilding that annoyed me but isnt really significant: shit is just europe and america and whatnot with stupid fucking names. lazy as hell. if u just wanna keep shit as it is, do that. dont call things EuroScand or whatever. Also the racial dynamics are so bad in such an uninteresting way, like the book literally goes "race doesnt exist anymore everyone is like suuuper mixed except for this black dude who is evil and this mystical asian man. but everyone else. super racially ambigous"

THE CHARACTERS are bad also. rowan is so completely uninteresting i skimmed his chapters for lines where anybody else spoke, citra has a tiny bit more depth but not by a lot. their romance just so completely does not work, and listen. i am ready to accept that they were into dying for eachother after hanging out for like a month and kissing one time. i love unreasonable unstoppable romance. they had NO chemistry. they hated each other when they first met, for no reason at all, and then suddenly they were in love. barely spoken to each other for 2 months and then rowan is making a vow to die for her.

scythe faraday and scythe curie are much more interesting people, but scythe faraday goes away for 2/3rds of the book and curie isnt allowed to be anything interesting before citra basically ditches her. the fact they were involved doesnt come out of nowhere, but i would have appreciated a little more on that because it was way more interesting.... why arent the scythes allowed to date each other anyways. seems like an incredibly stupid rule. theyre immortal. theyre not jedi. yet another nonsensical worldbuilding detail

goddard and his crew were one dimensional and boring, it would have been great and interesting if he was actually charming and charismattic and succeeded in winning rowan over, but instead of that happening the book tells you that he is charming and charismatic while only shows him being awful and unpleasant. volta was kind of fun and interesting but his suicide didnt hit hard enough due to the fact that he and rowans friendship barely existed, neal shusterman is bad at writing character relationships jesus christ

THE PLOT AND WRITING were really fucking bad. virtually nothing happens for the majority of this book. citra fleeing the scytheguard should have taken up way more time than it did, as it was one of the only fun and engaging parts of the book. instead of that we get endless scenes of rowan seeing goddard be evil, citra walking around doing nothing and generally things not happening. way more time spent on training sequences than was strictly neccesary, and too little time spent on explaining anything that was happening or characters spending time together.

The chapters didnt flow extremely well, the pov switches were annoying and would happen multiple times on one pages, sometimes in the same paragraph. too many important worldbuilding details were glossed over in favour of scenes of rowans man pain or just kind of random irrelevant bullshit. there were a ton of characters who didnt really end up mattering, because the book was so badly spaced out. i would have loved spending a bit more time with scythe mandela for example who ended up mattering actually a ton for the final couple chapters, but no because rowan needs to be tortured again or something!

Every plot complication and twist was resolved instantly, leaving you no space to try and figure it out for yourself, no tension or anything. the ones that werent were so easy to figure out that it also left you with no tension. scythe faraday dead? no he isnt! citra is cornered by a scythe on the bullet train? dont worry, she has help from a random guy. even the ending was like this. will rowan die because citra was chosen to become a scythe instead of him? dont worry, she gives him immunity and this has no consequences for her whatsoever. they were talking about putting her in forever jail just 5 chapters ago, but its fine she is allowed to become a full fledged scythe. will they at least jail rowan until his immunity is up? dont worry, he is batman now and hes fled due to his perfect skills in everything he is so sexy you guys

VERDICT: dont read this book its bad. really bad. i will be back with the second one though, because viki is making me

@chevengurian ik u enjoy my sufferings here u go

[aufi-creative-mind]

What would have lead to Hyrule being MORE then 10,000 years old in your timeline? Most states and cultures IRL don’t even last above several centuries at most, so I wonder what’s the reason for it’s epithet as the “Eternal Kingdom” as mentioned in one of your posts

So... the name "Eternal Kingdom" is mainly what other countries outside of the Hyrule's border called them. Since from their perspective, the Kingdom of Hyrule had a very long and unbroken rule over its lands for 10 000 years under the same name and same ruling royal family. With evidences that they do have some level of divinity to back them up.

As opposed to themselves who may have gone through cycles of change. For example, my version of Ordon - their own recorded history goes back at least 9000 years with multiple eras of different rulers, governance, disasters and significant events that shape them into their present-day state. These countries and their people don't essentially need to know Hyrule's origins and take it into account with how they view this ancient Kingdom. But as far as they are aware, Hyrule has always been there. Until the day of the Second Calamity and how that shattered Hyrule's 10K year long streak.

.

As for how old Hyrule actually is, I put an asterisk on the " 10 000 years* " since it's a bit vague and they didn't really give definite dates on when exactly certain events occurred and how far apart they happened from each other.

My interpretation of the BotW-TotK timeline is that the Founding of the Kingdom of Hyrule, the Imprisoning Wars and later the First Calamity happened WITHIN the Ancient Era of 10K. And the Age of Zonai along with precedessors of the Ancient Hyruleans existed for some time before the Kingdom's founding. (The exact number of years / dates lost or forgotten from historical records ).

At least from the standpoint of BotW/TotK's present-day. Since it happened so far back in time that its all mashed together into a blur.

Its implied that very little of recorded history from back then survived to present-day. Either because of written text being lost or destroyed, language drift (similar to how Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs were misinterpreted/untranslatable for the longest time until the Rosetta Stone discovery in 1799) or they were forgotten from living memory. Or even a combination of all above.

TL;DR - the Kingdom of Hyrule is estimated to be 10 000-ish years old in the BotW-TotK timeline, based on in-game lore and history. And because of their extreme longevity, the Kingdom is sometimes called the "Eternal Kingdom" by their neighbours.

--

Lastly, this is a rule I give to myself when it comes to worldbuilding, whether it be with the Legend of Zelda or...any fictional world I play around with.

The fictional world and their lore does not essentially have to be realistic, to our real world standards. It only needs to be believable within the rules of their fantastical universe. (Quoted by me cuz I made that up, 05 Sept 2023)

What I mean by this is that, it is okay to take inspiration from real world history, culture and people when building up your stories and the world that it is set in. How realistic you want your worlds and stories to be is completely up to you. BUT it is not essential. You can be as fantastical and mind-blowing as you want in your world and stories. As long as it is believable to the reader / player.

Hyrule being 10 000(ish) years old is frankly mind-bending and almost eldritch to think about. And that's okay. You can accept that official canon or not. And let's be honest, Nintendo is not that well-known for their lore building in their games. And the canon Zelda timeline is already a mess to follow with.

(Also do check out Overly Sarcastic Productuon's video about BotW-Hyrule and its environmental storytelling (pre-TotK release). It has influenced how I interpret this specific version of Hyrule).

Personally, realism for me is more of a source of inspiration rather than a hard rule to how my worlds work. I build my worlds to be...places that I want to explore. With that feeling of exploration to immerse people into what this world is like and their in-universe lore adds layers that can excite the imagination.

And that's the beauty of worldbuilding. You can make the most fantastical world with magic, dragons and aliens, or the most realistic world based on real life but with mechas, dinosaurs and cowboys. Because why not!

The only limitation is your own imagination and how you build it up.

TL;DR - You can worldbuild the most realistic or fantastical world as much as you want. As long as it is believable to the reader that they too can imagine your world in their own imaginations.

[ask-order-firebrand]

(in the depths of Blackrock facilities, past a canine of orange, lies a lone test tube. It’s hard to see anything in it other then an firey orange glow through some spots on it. The liquid inside seems to be of the same color.. it appears to be the only bright light source down there.)

(it has a number on it: “2”… hm..)

[notsp1derman]

a review full of childlike wonder of the wizard of earthsea, by ursula k leguin

[may contain spoilers]

“A rock is a good thing, too, you know. If the Isles of Earthsea were all made of diamond, we'd lead a hard life here. Enjoy the illusions, lad, and let the rocks be rocks.”

Ever since I've started reading A Wizard of Earthsea, two thoughts have been circling my mind:

How the fuck is Harry Potter more acclaimed than this?

Wow, the Ghibli movie really doesn't do it much justice.

Earthsea is a simple story in its core, yet so groundbreaking in so many details (and in such a subtle way too) that I just understood how special it is after I finished reading. Within a third of the size of staples in the genre like The Name of the Wind (which has a similar plot and worldbuilding as well), it manages to tell an adventure that would captivate any child and entertain any adult, even those very serious about realism in fiction like me. Although we fly by many important events in this 180 page book, each one of them feels carefully thought out, a perfect balance between the sentiments of our protagonist and the hard laws of the world.

The archipelago of Earthsea feels alive and solid under the words of this book, and there wasn't a single moment where I was fished out of the immersion because of a poorly explained piece of lore or a boring infodump about the details of commerce that I don't really care about. LeGuin weaves together hard worldbuilding and the childlike wonder of unexplained mysteries in a beautiful way, encapsulating a joy in discovering a new world that I haven't felt in years.

Of course, nothing is perfect, and sometimes I wish there was a bit more of detail about landmarks, people and even Sparrowhawk. Still, it somehow works because it brings out the imagination I had as a child to fill all of the blanks myself. In this process I the archipelago of Earthsea became mine too. I love descriptive books that paint a vivid picture of a place that exists only in the dreams of the author, but a change of pace sometimes can feel like a breath of fresh air, and this is how Earthsea felt for me.

But the most special feature of this book is the way the author uses narrative. Her way of telling the story of Sparrowhawk as an omniscient narrator, giving away teasers of later events but keeping the thrill of the journey in its twists and turns almost feels like a legend told by fireside, of a hero long gone. We know of Sparrowhawk's potential as a hero and we know he will be a great wizard, but he still feels human even with this semi-detached style of narrative so common in legends. Because although his power is vast, his hubris is entirely human.

And between dragons and magic and islands, Earthsea discreetly brings a message of balance and self-discovery, that is intrinsically connected to Sparrowhawk's development as both wizard and person. The wisdom passed through the pages doesn't feel like the author giving some unwanted lecture, but more like a sage advice that I truly am compelled to take seriously.

I can't help but love books like this, able to charm me with a wonderful world and fantastical characters, but also able to bring me reflection about human nature. By naming the shadow with his own true name, a gesture so significant in Earthsea, Sparrowhawk made peace with the dark parts of himself, that his own arrogance brought to life. And by understanding all parts of himself, he became a better wizard and finally found a bit of peace. It is a journey we all must take, albeit a less fun and more plain one.

★★★★★

[crystallinecardinal]

I’ve been working on my Watcher!Grian Desert Duo fic (I Will Only Break Your Pretty Things) and I keep thinking about the progression Grian has to go through from seeing everything through a Watcher lens to reacquainting himself with being a player, as well as what that means, especially when it comes to actually taking care of himself during Third Life.

Long ramble about worldbuilding, Watchers, time, wings, pain, exhaustion, rest, neglect, and feeling safe after the cut. Or, just a really long thought process for a scene in which Scar helps Grian sleep one night in the desert.

I feel like Watchers don’t have to care for themselves in the same way players do. Which, sure, maybe that’s a given, even with the way this fic toys with and alters Watcher lore, but the basics of the idea are still there. Watchers are still beings that feast on emotion, I just like to expand on them a bit.

Point is: Watchers don’t need to physically eat, or sleep, or drink, or preen, or blink, or do anything that a mortal player would have to. Aches and pains aren’t felt by them. You’ll never hear a Watcher complain about a headache from overindulgence, or about unkempt wings. It simply Doesn’t Happen, especially not out in the Void. They are immortal, god-like beings that do not have to exist the same way players do by their very code and biology.

Which, in the end, I think would make it especially hard for Grian, both coming in to being a Watcher, and having most of his power stripped from him as he enters Third Life.

It’s hard to tell how much time passes in the Void. It’s like time is different, in a way, akin to sitting outside the edge of the event horizon of a black hole. To a player, time can feel much shorter or longer than it actually is. Months can speed by in an instant, and just the same, only a few weeks can pass when it feels like years. Time is just Weird in the Void. Watchers barely sense it. Time is infinite to a Watcher, they can manipulate it as they see fit in the worlds they observe.

When Grian first became a Watcher, I can imagine it wasn’t easy to get used to. Imagine, all your life, you’re mortal. Of course, mortal in the vague sense, respawning is a thing you know well. Any player knows about respawning, but the point is: you still can die. Suddenly, you fall into a place filled with stars, and are brought amongst the ranks of beings beyond your world. Just like that, you’re no longer human, if the new eyes and small wings that would surely grow and multiply with time said anything. And now, you don’t need to blink. You don’t feel hot, or cold, or anything. But you feel hungry, a dull sensation not quite like pain that ripples through your senses, spawning a new kind of instinct you aren’t familiar with. And as time presses on, you forget how it once was to be a player, and fall in line with the new normal.

I feel like during that time, lost in the Void, learning what it meant to be a Watcher, Grian felt time slow. It passed for him as it does all Watchers, but it felt like ages. And in the process, he learned how to feed on player emotion, the one thing all Watchers must do to survive, to maintain their code, and he lost himself. Gone was the player Grian, the one smiling amongst friends, and in was Xelqua, the Watcher who had forgotten what it meant to be human, gaze ceaseless.

So, that all leads to an issue. When you’ve forgotten your time as a player, how do you cope with turning mortal again? How do you deal with a new body, with aches in your wings and pain in your muscles? How do you relearn basic functions that don’t come with instinct, how do you learn to take care of yourself again?

It’s a simple answer if you’re Xelqua, taking your old name back: you put on a badly hidden facade, try to dismiss your failing memory, and cope.

Sure, maybe you relearn some of it, or at least the parts you’ve had to learn from years of Watching. Preening is part of that. You’ve only ever had wings as a Watcher, and even those barely had to be maintained. Now, you need to keep up with them as much as possible, and even worse: you can feel all of the sensations that come with it, and absolutely do not want to unpack that. And, of course, you’re trapped in a death game of your own design, meant to feed Watchers, all the while you feel a dull ache in your stomach. Lovely!

So, knowing all this, that brings me to the main thought I’ve been having: What if during the early parts of Third Life, back when Grian first left the Watchers and was stripped of his immortality, he felt vulnerable and unsafe when his eyes were closed?

He’s always had them open, for as long as he can remember. As said previously, Watchers don’t need to blink, Watchers don’t have to sleep, Watchers don’t have to take care of themselves like mortals do, so his eyes have always stayed open in some way. He always Watched, and never stopped, not even in idle dormancy. He’s never been without sight for what feels like years, and he’s never been threatened with pain and possible death for the same timeframe.

Now, stranded in his own death game, he feels like if at any moment he shuts his eyes, closes out his main avenue of sensing danger, then something could kill him. No one’s red yet, but danger still lurks around every corner. He’s not yet used to pain again, nor the way death feels, and it’s worse knowing that he only has three chances. He goes to the desert, bound by oath, and even there, there’s still an ever-present danger, but at least there’s distractions. He has a sand castle to build, a vast amount of sand to light up, and a teammate to keep alive. He ignores the way exhaustion tugs at him, because, well, when you’re really stubborn about keeping your eyes open, who needs sleep when there’s something to be done?

So, what if that’s part of what keeps him awake much longer than a mortal should be awake for? What if it’s not only the drive to complete tasks, getting way too wrapped up in the progress of it, but also the fear of letting his guard down? What if he barely feels the way his body begs him to sleep, all until he’s standing still, but he continues to fight against it anyway?

And then, (here’s the fun part for the Desert Duo enjoyers,) what if it’s Scar who breaks that? Scar of all people, Grian’s new ally and the man he accidentally killed? What if it’s Scar who helps a very sleep deprived Grian to finally let go of his voluntary restlessness, and close his eyes? He has a silver tongue, after all, and in their castle amongst the dunes, maybe it’s one of the few times Grian gives in. One of the first times he lets himself be more vulnerable around Scar, and one of the first times he smiles, warmth in his chest.

All is to say: what if it’s Scar who starts to make Grian feel safe enough to sleep, and starts to make him feel human again?

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a ramble about something that's been on a mind for a while, about HK and the AU. Not really a vent, but just wanted to talk about it. It's pretty long so I'll hide it.

My relationship with HK these days is a bit complicated, to be honest. I absolutely adore the game, I get this warm feeling every time I hear the soundtrack and I still get the itch to replay it from time to time. It's a work for art and I'm so, so grateful I played it, even if I was quite late to the party all things considered.

But I can't deny that I fell into the rabbithole of having too many headcanons where I can't engage with other people to the extent I perhaps used to. I don't like many of the popular characters nearly as much as the fandom does, and those that are close to my heart I interpret in a way that speaks to me, but one that feels very distant to how other people view them.

It has some downsides. I avoid looking up HK fanart and I'm slowly starting to dislike getting posts about it recommended to me in the For You tab a little bit. Not because the art is bad, far from it, there are incredible artists and other members of this community that deserve all the love in the world. It's just that it keeps reminding me that my interpretations are so personal, and headcanons that go against them almost feel like mischaracterization, as ridiculous as it sounds. Some interpretations end up upsetting me more than I'd like, too. Some of it is misinterpretations that annoy me, but some are just things I personally don't agree with.

But part of me makes me think that it's my fault somehow. I can't quite explain it, I think this is somehow rooted in my self-esteem issues. I often fear that I don't belong, that I'm doing something wrong by not following the general fanon, that my AU feels like an insult against the canon because of how derived and self-indulgent it is. I didn't have that problem before, not to this extent, but as my mental health got worse over the months, it makes sense that something like this would also start to make itself known. Or at least it makes sense to me.

So deep down I'm torn. On one hand, I get weirdly protective over my interpretations and it's gone to the point where I struggle to separate them from the versions other people talk about. On the other, I'm starting to feel guilty that my AU versions are so different that they might upset some people.

I had some moments where I considered turning them into OCs. But every time I I think about that, I reach the conclusion that no, I don't want to do that. I love them the way they are, despite their designs evolving with time, I wouldn't want to change anything about them, let alone turn them into different characters. And it's not like I'm really changing the character from the canon. Some details are different, but it's also easy to forget that we don't really know much about a lot of these characters, so in many ways I'm just filling the blanks and writing the story around it. Not to mention, adapting canon in ways that I find personally engaging is one of my favorite things about the worldbuilding and lore of the AU. And then there's all the engagement from people who like the AU and want to learn more that is genuinely the main reason why it's as expansive as it is. I don't think I would've stuck around making art for it for this long if I was doing it for myself only.

But it's not just art, knowing that people care, and getting all the interesting ideas I haven't considered inspires me to expand the world of the AU even further, I think about it in my spare time, of all the ways I could develop the world, I still get random ideas for it that I eventually want to include, I read about something in the game's lore and I immediately think of the way I could adapt it into my AU. It became a personal project that I find comfort in, and changing it would just feel wrong. And I know how my brain works (well, at least I think I do), I know I wouldn't remain as invested if I were by myself, I need to share it with other people. And I doubt they would be as interested if it wasn't for the connection to HK. I think that's natural and to be expected.

So all that leaves me in a bit of an awkward spot. I love HK, but over the last year I built a wall around me and the sandbox of my personal interpretations, that creates this disconnect between me and the rest of the fandom. I don't think that fact alone makes me upset, either. There's a reason why I'm still sitting there and playing in that sandbox to this day, and it's because I genuinely love doing it. I guess the disconnect just feeds into my already existing confidence issues and worries. Then again, I haven't really left the fandom, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is that my low-confidence plagued brain improves, and stops telling me I'm doing something wrong by playing in the sandbox by myself.

Okay, not by myself, that would be selfish of me to say. There's still a lot of you here, people whom my silly AU clicked with, people who want to see more of it and are still there for the 6th slice of life drawing of the week. I love and appreciate you all, and I'm really grateful I can share the sandbox with you. You're the best, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so, so happy that you found something in my art that resonated with you.

I don't know how to end this post tbh. Again, it's not really meant to be a vent post, not the usual kind at least. Even if some things about this frustrate or upset me a little bit, I think I'm slowly moving towards the acceptance stage. I don't want to change my interpretations so they're more in line with the rest of the fandom, and I don't want to force myself to engage with things that upset me just to feel like I belong. All I'm hoping is that I eventually stop having doubts; about this, and everything in general.

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe someone else feels like they're in a similar spot. Maybe hearing some words of encouragement that I'm not going insane with this would also help me accept the position I'm in. Maybe it's Maybelline.

[decepti-thots]

Hi! I hope your day/night has been grand.

I’ve been a fan of Transformers for a long while but I was wondering if you had any recommendations on where to start with Transformers comics?

Hi anon! Sorry for the slightly late response- busy weekend.

This depends on a few things really. TF comics vary a lot in terms of tone, genre, take on TFs and what they're interested in when it comes to the franchise... so it kind of depends on what you're after.

Still, if you're looking to dive in, there's two big options here: IDW1 and IDW2. IDW1 refers to the comics published in a single major continuity between 2005 and 2018, with various distinct 'eras', while IDW2 refers to the shorter-lived new continuity that ran 2018 through to 2022.

Since you're already up to speed on TF as a whole by the sounds of it, that does mean I feel a bit less like I have to find you something that requires no prior knowledge, so for IDW1 there are a few good possible jumping on points I'd recommend, which are: start at Robots in Disguise #1, start at More than Meets the Eye #1, or start with Last Stand of the Wreckers. All of these start someone between a third and halfway into the run of the comics, but they either juuust precede or jumpstart a kind of 'soft reboot' that produced IDW1's main powerhouse comics they came to be widely regarded for, and they're a lot easier to recommend as jumping on points.

Start with RiD #1 if: you like large ensemble casts and a rotating list of plotlines in an ongoing comic with a large scope, you are interested in Cybertronians-on-Cybertron and worldbuilding relating to that, you are more in the mood for a comic that takes its setting and premise moderately seriously, and you want something that ties together into a big overarching plot. Well, plots, really. RiD is a little bit less newbie friendly than our next two picks, but it doesn't really require you specifically know IDW1 lore or backstory, just that you can pick out well-known TF characters and know a bit about the franchise's core assumptions. It's famous for including a lot of intricate continuity in its overall story, but it mostly (re)establishes that continuity internally, so it's fine to start here. It has political intrigue and lots of Schemes and some really great characters- Barber writes most issues from a certain characters' implicit perspective, so you see a lot of different points of view on what's going on. The short version: RiD picks up when the Autobot-Decepticon war has just ended under uneasy circumstances, and neutral Cybertronians have started coming back to the planet en-masse. It's got a cast of Autobots, Decepticons and neutrals trying to work out how to run the planet in the wake of that.

Start with MTMTE #1 if: also if you like large ensemble casts but more in the sense of character-focused plotlines with an interest in interpersonal dynamics driving the storytelling, you want something that falls more into space sitcom/dramedy tone wise, you are interested in a comic that looks at the franchise through a very different lens than most other incarnations, you enjoy high-concept story ideas. This one is even more newbie-friendly than RiD, because it mostly features characters who either have not appeared in previous IDW1 stories, or have only appeared a few times. The short version: MTMTE picks up when Rodimus, upon the end of the war, decides he doesn't want to stay on Cybertron and watch people bicker over who's in charge and manages to persuade around 200 other people to go on a wild goose chase around the galaxy looking for the mythical "Knights of Cybertron" to fix things instead. This has pretty much gone off the rails by issue two because he gets the ship stranded in a kind of Star Trek Voyager style initial setup, and also everyone on board turns out to have about a million personal issues that makes everyone being stuck together probably not a great idea. Ultimate road trip from hell. Sidenote: this is The Comic What Has Some Romance Plotlines in it, if you like that, you'll wanna check this one out- but contrary to popular belief they are subplots, and there's plenty here if it's not your bag, haha.

Start with Last Stand of the Wreckers if: you do not want to read 50+ issues of a massive ongoing comic, haha. LSotW is a standalone miniseries that is only five issues long and tells a complete story that requires basically no prior IDW1 knowledge to just jump into, and it finishes that story in those five issues. It has a smaller, tighter cast and knows where it's heading, so if you want something you can just pick up and read, try it. This one is an action story with some serious horror crossover elements and is notable for being significantly darker than the vast majority of TF media, and specifically at parts for being very violent (think, oh, homages to slasher or grindhouse horror, I guess). It's all still cartoon robots of course, but do be aware. The short version: three years before the series, the Autobots lost one of their wartime prisons to the Decepticons and it went radio silent. The series follows the black ops Wreckers team, newly assembled after things went tits up for them on Earth, who now have to go in and try to fix things. Anything more about the reasons for sending them in would be a spoiler, but since the entire point of the Wreckers team is to do suicide missions in which most of them wind up dead, it obviously doesn't go super well. Sidenote: LSotW does have two sequels (Sins of the Wreckers and Requiem of the Wreckers), but was written to be standalone.

These are by no means the only IDW1 comics you could try, but they're the easiest ones to just hand to someone like, 'here are some comics that are readable and fun and cover most bases, and you will not have to prep by reading 37254 articles first'. So. They are my go-tos.

Now if none of the above sounds a hundred percent what you're looking for, there's also IDW2! This one is nice and simple by nature of being a shorter-lived project: start at Transformers #1. It was a hard reboot into its own new continuity and can be read 100% without any other comics knowledge. IDW2 might be a place to start if you enjoy worldbuilding-heavy storytelling at a slower pace, unique takes on pre-existing TF lore, heavily interconnected plotlines that gradually come together, and pre-war intrigue as opposed to mid-war action or post-war clashes of personality. It ran for a little over forty issues plus some side-miniseries, which the wiki lists for you. (My advice: try most of the Galaxies stuff if you want. Definitely read Escape. Then War's End is the actual end of the series.) Unfortunately they lost the license, and so IDW2 wrapped up wayyy ahead of what was intended, but they did have time to wrap things up with an ending.

...which brings us to how to read the comics. Long story short: you can no longer legally buy them, at least in English! IDW lost the license in 2022, and as of yet the new licensee has not even been announced. It is looking increasingly likely these are gonna stay out of print for a while. Theoretically the new owners might choose to reprint them, but god knows if that will actually happen. Also, the physical trades are getting quite expensive, so frankly, you're gonna be pirating them.

Given this, here. (They're all in English.) These are issue-by-issue and not the collected versions, which sometimes have corrections in them or additional content. They're also in .cbr/.cbz format, which requires a comic reader app. So if a anyone needs anything else or wants the trade versions (which often have minor amendments/corrections in them) let me know, I have the whole lot DRM free for IDW1 at least, in formats including .pdf if you can't read .cbr/.cbz, and can always upload them.

[ask-the-cosmic-duo]

Long Time No See!

//Sorry I've been gone! I'll place an explanation at the bottom, but feel free to read the story for an in-universe explanation.

----------------------

Stella was resting on the couch in the gaming room, and stared at a TV screen displaying the PS5 home screen. She looked tired.

"I need to update the blog..." She groaned. "But there's so much going on all of a sudden..."

"A bunch of new visitors, plus pre-existing obligations and desires... How do I keep up with all of it? Especially when I'm now taking care of a kid..." She looked to the side. "Well, I guess he doesn't really trust me right now, since I slipped up kinda hard, but still. I think Sol has his back."

Back to the screen. A development build of her game was currently selected, with the option to play it highlighted. She looked to the side again, specifically at her racing rig. It was nearby, so all she'd need to do is slide it over. But... she wasn't feeling it right now. She wasn't feeling up for much of anything. Yet another dip in motivation. This happened way too often... What was she supposed to do about it, though? She was sure there was a way, but she didn't know what that way was.

"I've experienced a lot in my life. And yet, I sometimes can't figure out how to overcome this... executive paralysis. You'd think my Determination would help, but not always," she explained to no one in particular. Not that it mattered who she said it to, because there wasn't anyone in the room with her. She was alone.

"... I wonder how my friends on Tumblr are doing."

----------------------

//Right, so, I've been taking care of things of varying personal and overall importance for the past while. College is chief among them, though I've actually been on break for a while. I just feel burned out from having to work way harder than I wanted to towards the end of the semester. Annoyingly, I'm starting back up next week. There's also additional worldbuilding I've been doing, plus experimentation with AUs.

//No, I haven't canned the story, I'm just not sure how to actually continue it because I feel like the current method isn't working for me. I'm too focused on the RP it's meant to come from. That's not saying much though, because I'm having trouble focusing on that as well. Being me sucks, you don't wanna be me.

//I can't promise I'll always be active. My focus and motivation waxes and wanes, but I'll do my best to at least keep the blog from dying outright. Don't assume I'm dead until both of my blogs have been dead for months, because I'm probably thinking about you guys every day.

//This may be a small blog, but you guys have shaped it quite a lot already, as well as the universe it's bonded to. Want an example? I wouldn't have given Stella back her void powers if it weren't for @ask-gadzooks. They're masters of worldbuilding, and know the original pony lore a lot better than I do. Truth be told, I tend to just wing it. And yes, the blog is still canon to the original world that the original Stella is from. Fully canon.

//Either way, I apologize for my silence on this blog, and I hope you guys haven't forgotten me. It's midnight, so-

//oh crap i forgot about duolingo

//... Ahem. Anyway, I don't think I'll be doing much else tonight. I'm tired, and I need to sleep.