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I made this in a effort to cheer myself up. 

It worked.

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J sketchies

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"but if it were me, I'd really wanna be, a giant woman"

stevens relationship with gender is so fascinating to me. his entire diamond days arc is a clear trans allegory, but more specifically reads as a transmasc allegory, what with everyone reffering to him as "rose" or "pink" and feminine terms despite his repeated insistence that he is *steven*. and yet he never actually corrects anyone when they use she/her. he only corrects his name. this was pointed out in the tags of that one post youve probably seen:

this post doesnt show it, but steven is delighted when blue said this. obviously you can read this as steven being glad that shes making an effort, even if incorrect, and is just choosing to let the wrong pronouns slide. but its never explicitly stated. and like i said, he never corrects she/her, he only corrects his name. although it is interesting that, by the time the movie rolls around, the diamonds have switched to he/him.

its also interesting to mention how excited he was to put on pink diamonds outfit, and also how quickly he took it off once he got the chance.

of course stevens relationship with his mother and his identity issues are going to play a big part in how he percieves his gender, given that for a large chunk of the show he actually belived they were the same person, at least to some extent. ("im my mom and my sister?! what kind of magical destiny is this?!). how would you define your "agab" when half your family is telling you that you are a centuries old alien called rose/pink who has no sex and used she/her? not to mention all of the various gender identities and pronouns his fusions have.

thats not even getting started on how the gems percieve gender, which is to say, they generally don't. gems are sexless beings and their society has no concept of gender, although after spending a long time on earth im sure the crystal gems have a better understanding (i actually could talk about the gems relation to human gender a lot more but ill save that for another time). for steven, a child raised by gems for a good chunk of his childhood- who use feminine terms as a default-i can see how that would lead to some interesting perceptions on gender presentation.

thats not even getting into stevens gender noncomformity. and while gender presentation doesnt necessarily have anything to do with your gender identity, its interesting to note and i just think its really cool that a male protagonist is so unapologetically feminine

also i could talk for days about connie and stevens knight/princess dynamic, and how it parallels pearl and roses, but in a healthier way that nips the whole "obssesive self sacrifice" thing in the (rose) bud as soon as steven notices it. but then id have to talk about pearl and then wed be here all day lol

so yeah, stevens relationship with gender fascinates me. I mean, does the concept of "cisgender" even apply in the way we usually mean it to, given stevens unique experiences?

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⊹₊⟡⋆

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pacific rim commentary

i took a few notes from guillermo del toro’s commentary on pacific rim:

gypsy danger was designed to look like a machine from ww2 and to have the gait of a “gunslinger” 

he talks a lot about how in movies “form is content” and that he designs not for “eye candy, but for eye protein”; narrative is submerged in the audiovisual details and the details are everywhere in pacific rim

he is constantly juxtaposing massive elements w small details for scale; like a giant battle and a little red shoe, to contribute to the sense of “awe and majesty” 

the movie deals w types “the pilot…the scientist” so the characters had to be textured w minimal gestures; mako and raleigh (two of the main characters) have some of the fewest lines in the film 

ww2 aesthetics; bomb refuge, overalls, working for rations were all incorporated

not a movie about one hero but a composite of humanity; the world saving the world; a movie about togetherness, connecting, and trust

Mako is coded blue bc of her origins in the kaiju; blue stains her heart and her hair

every character has to learn to trust all the others 

all the characters get a Hero Moment

re: the fighting stick scene; “if this was a 19th century movie they would be dancing the waltz” 

the little red shoe is the absolute heart of the movie 

quiet power is still power; mako as a strong character w quiet determination 

the Russian jaeger team are so hard-core they have no escape pod

some of the Battle of Hong Kong was done in miniatures and models not just cgi 

“This film is the most controlled joyful exercise in image creation of my life” 

one of guillermo’s fave moments is when newt and hermann drift 

“No one carries the suit like idris elba” 

“No matter how many times you drift with someone you still have to say I love you”

structured the three fights for raleigh as; losing a partner; gaining a partner; saving a partner (”it won’t happen to [him] again”) 

it was important to guillermo that the humans saved the world, not machines or ballistic power; humanity.

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live house reaction

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Babe I swear I just saw their reblog first, I didn’t ignore yours, it was just that yours was further down the dash, that’s not on me that’s on tumblr babe, tumblr wants to drive a wedge between us, I love you I swear babe, pls believe me pls don’t let them win

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One of my little silly thoughts

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"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

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In a world full of darkness, don't let your light die out.

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Hélène Béland (Canadian,b.1949)

Light catcher, 2012

Oil on linen

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Snail drinking a dew drop from an acorn head 

Fun fact: snails can have up to 14 000 teeth - they are tiny and positioned on their tongue called the radula.