#How do you feel about reblog this to help this person or you're horrible posts?

[onemoreattempt]

Thanks for the tag @noideawhattodoorsay !!

I took it twice bc a lot of the questions didn’t really have my answers as options

I feel like I’m too much of an overthinker for #1 and too disorganized for #2😅

Tags: @chaos-n-kindness @floofeeeeee @unstark anyone else who wants to participate :)

ASK GAME!!

Do THIS QUIZ and say your result

Thats what I got!!! @wanderingwierdo @the-cherryblossom-system @blooper-malte @a-secret-rpblog @gobodegoblin @beeflingo @ibuildblasters

[vaspider]

So I need a more adult persons take on this. Is it wrong to ask people to tag gory/graphic images from gaza? I'm not trying to bury my head in the sand. I don't want to block mention of palastine but god these images are triggering the shit out of me and it isn't making me more aware or more empathetic, I'm already angry and heartbroken and praying and donating what I can.

It is never wrong to ask someone to tag something for any reason. I've asked people to tag animals that I have a phobia of, and mentions of Laika (the first animal in space), because Laika was a good girl and she didn't deserve what happened to her. It was cruel and horrible and it upsets me in a way that I recognize is out of scope for the death of a single dog seventy years ago. That person may decline to tag things for whatever reason, and if that's the case, it isn't wrong for you to unfollow them, block them, add their username to a filter list, whatever you need to do in order to curate your online experience. Without talking directly about the topic you brought up, 'cause it's something I don't do, as I've said about ninety squintillion times -- I used to reblog/post pretty disturbing images of human bodies out of a misguided sense of justice. I have been online for a really long time, and a lot of the stuff that was posted as 'necessary education' Back In The Olden Times were images of police and/or mob brutality visited on Black & brown bodies. Out of a sense of white guilt and a feeling that I should be 'bearing witness' rather than turning away, I perpetuated some of those images, until -- very kindly and gently, I think, for the scope of what was happening -- it was pointed out to me that:

it is unkind to subject the people who have been or might be subject to that sort of racialized terror to images of bodies broken by it, and

it is almost invariably the exact opposite of what the families of those people want, and

it does nothing to actually make me a better person or to advance any sort of real justice, and instead

it simply acts as a grotesque sort of terror tourism or war porn for people who can simply turn off their computer or phone screen and go about their lives.

I am really grateful to the person who took the time to gently shake me. They didn't owe me that, and I'm glad they thought I was a worthwhile investment of time and energy.

Whoever is posting images of bodies or gory images of victims from any injustice like that, especially without appropriately tagging the images so that people don't have to engage with that? They may be motivated by the best of intentions, but as long as they are engaging in that sort of casual, continual terror tourism, they're ... not helping.

There was a great article about this back during Ferguson that really flipped a switch in my head about the subject, where it basically said this is just another way that dominant cultures, Americans especially, seem to treat the bodies of people they view as Other as theirs to consume. There are ways to talk about whatever is going on which do not require people to utilize the bodies and blood of the dead as tools of persuasion (or emotional bludgeoning, tbh), as symbols to show how Righteous we are by "not looking away," and at the cost of those who have been or are more directly affected by the images.

Doing that sort of thing isn't a good idea in the first place, and you're not wrong to ask anybody to tag anything, or to disengage from those people if they find themselves unwilling or unable to tag that content so that you can care for your own mental health.

[jellybeanium124]

Helpful lists of questions for goyim when it comes to engaging with the Israel-Hamas war 🙂

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF WHEN A POST ABOUT THE ISRAEL-HAMAS WAR CROSSES YOUR DASH AND YOU WANT TO REBLOG IT:

Does this post link to a source?

If the post does link to a source, is it a credible one?

If the post does not link to a source, is there one screenshotted in the post that you can find? If so, please search out that source and read the entire thing in context. And make sure the source is credible. Ideally, if you decide to reblog it, add a link to the source.

Is the post just screenshots of tweets? If so, you probably should not reblog this. Posts that are just screenshots of tweets are a massive red flag. Do not believe something because it's a twitter screenshot. Frankly this rule is for everyone about everything all the time.

What is the tone of the post? Does it make you angry? If yes, this is a red flag. Exercise caution reblogging.

Does the post frame Israel as a uniquely evil country in need of destruction? Does the post treat Israel with different standards than those that are applied to every other country that has done horrible, horrible things, such as Russia, the UK, or United States? This is a red flag. If the government of Israel falls without some sort of transition plan, there will be Jewish genocide. Anyone advocating for a one-state solution either way is advocating for one group to get genocided. A two-state solution is the only possible peaceful end to this conflict (technically my opinion but I feel comfy stating it as fact).

Does the post treat Hamas as anything other than a terrorist organization? Do not reblog.

Is the post promoting Jewish Voice for Peace/JVP? Do not reblog. That organization is not Jewish and is antisemitic.

What is the focus of the content of the post? Is the post discussing reasonable paths to a ceasefire/peace? Is the post criticizing Israel's actions without using antisemitic stereotypes? Netanyahu is a disgusting fascist who I hate, but even though he is a terrible person you are not allowed to portray him as an antisemitic caricature. Similar to how you don't get to misgender shitty trans people, you don't get to be antisemitic towards shitty Jewish people (even if he's really, really shitty).

How does the post use the word "zionist?" Does the word have any coherent meaning in the post besides "person (often Jew) that I hate?" Does it treat zionists as a group of people who are disgusting and deserve to be murdered and/or raped? Does the use of the word "zionist" completely dehumanize the person/people the label is applied to into nothing more than evil that the Earth must be rid of? This is antisemitic. Do not reblog.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE AT A PRO-PALESTINE PROTEST:

Are people chanting antisemitic slogans such as "globalize the intifada" and/or "from the river to the sea" (these are both antisemitic you cannot remove the antisemitic meaning from them, they are both advocating for the murder of Jewish people, sorry, stop using them.)?

Are people comparing themselves to Palestinians in Gaza? (this is not a joke, I saw a video of a Columbia student who compared Columbia sending out fliers to leave or be suspended to the IDF dropping flyers in Gaza saying "the army is coming in 24 hours.") If so, they care more about fetishizing Palestinian pain and making themselves feel like noble victims than the Israel-Palestine conflict.

Are people harassing Jews? This includes: preventing them from getting to class, yelling things at them like "go back to Poland," and/or physically assaulting them.

Are people defacing Jewish property/monuments? Are people defacing synagogues? Businesses with known Jewish owners? Statues and/or memorials of/for Jews?

What is the purpose of this protest? Would you feel comfortable sharing opinions that differ from the majority? Would you feel comfortable engaging in a conversation about this issue with fellow protesters? Are any of you actually educated on the complicated and lengthy history of the Israel-Palestine conflict? Is the protest about a peaceful solution, or is it just making you angrier and/or more upset? Does the protest/your fellow protestors care more about freeing Palestine so that Palestinians and Israelis can live in peace, or about hating Israel and treating it like a uniquely evil country?

If people are chanting antisemitic slogans, harassing Jews, and/or defacing Jewish things, then this is an antisemitic protest. Do you want to be associated with these people and this protest? If your answer is yes, you are an antisemite-sympathizer, which is basically an antisemite.

MORAL OF THE STORY: antisemitism is all over this issue and it's easy to get more antisemitic and spread antisemitism because bad actors use this issue to indoctrinate people who start off just genuinely caring about the issue but are not educated at all about it or what antisemitism actually looks like. BE CAREFUL. All Jews want, all we've ever wanted, is to be left alone to do our thing. Random Jews are not at fault for the horrific actions taken by the Israeli government since the terrorist attack on October 7th. We support the existence of Israel, but we do not support all of the current government's actions. We are just trying to live. We want there to be a ceasefire now. If you actually read this whole thing, thank you. It means a lot to be listened to.

For those of you that made it to the end, I'll offer one last reminder and one last gentle suggestion.

My last reminder is: "it is not your job to finish the work by neither are you free to ignore it" is a Jewish passage I really like. I think in times like these, it is important to focus on the first half. It is not your job to finish the work. The fate of Palestine does not rest on your shoulders. It's ok. Take time to decompress and log off.

My last suggestion is: one of the biggest Jewish values is "tikkun olam," which means "repairing the world." I think all action when it comes to this conflict (and life in general) should be done with tikkun olam in mind. It doesn't hurt to ask yourself "is this action repairing the world, or further tearing it apart?" no matter what you're doing. Thank you for reading.

[privatehousesanatomy]

hi this is a very controversial topic in the house md fandom i feel like and i'm going to speak on it. feel free to agree or disagree in the comments and reblogs, but truthfully i don't think anything you can say can or will change my view point.

that being said - house was never the "bad guy". is he a great guy? absolutely not. he's deeply flawed and i can understand why a lot of people hate him. it's hard to like somebody when all you're seeing is what's on the surface. he's cold, abrasive, mean, and an entire list of other words i could use to describe house but that's not the point of this post.

i can guarantee that there is not a single person on this planet that could go through even a quarter of the shit that house has gone through and still say that they're not miserable. you cannot expect someone to go through hell and not come out of it a changed person, and you cannot get upset with a person who's gone through hell and is bitter because of it.

let's start with his childhood. it's always been kinda up in the air just how abusive house's father was - the only real instances we were ever given detailing the abuse was ice baths, being made to sleep in the yard, and being given the silent treatment, which are all absolutely horrible things to do to child, however his childhood wasn't something that was ever touched on a whole lot. house even admits that there were good times, and a lot of people overlook that fact. a lot of y'all aren't willing to accept that people can have good memories of their abusers - that's how they become abusers in the first place. especially in terms of abusive relationships - there had to be good memories before the bad ones could be made. we don't know how john house was in terms of how he spoke about his son to other people. he could have described his son as his pride and joy to the general public but behind closed doors shamed house for not being more like him. having a tainted relationship with a parental figure is damaging and it's really no wonder why house grew up with such a skewed perspective on the concept of unconditional love.

chronic pain is a whole other issue. he was forced into a medical procedure against his will and regardless of whether or not it saved his life, it was still a direct violation of his bodily autonomy and to make it worse, the person that did it to him ending up abandoning him when he became too much of a burden. chronic pain is already hard enough to deal with. i deal with it myself and i completely understand why house gets the way he gets when he's in pain. to the rest of the world, they watch him function and think that the pain can't be that bad, and it's the same shit i experience in my own daily life. the pain is incredibly overstimulating at times and despite how good we might be at pretending that it's not, we're suffering inside.

another thing that doesn't help is how many people remind house on a daily basis how horrible he is and how they're worse off for knowing him. do you honestly expect him to start acting like everything is all sunshine and rainbows when people are practically telling him he's better off dead? that the world would be a better place if he wasn't in it? he is the way he is because everything in his life has proven to him that for some god forsaken reason, the universe is working against him and the only way for it to not hurt him is for him to become an isolated, antisocial individual. can't get hurt if you don't let anyone in, right?

while i'm here, i'm also going to touch on instances in the show that he gets blamed for. amber's death and chase getting stabbed were not his fault. everyone wants to sit here and blame him but there's no blame to put on him. with amber, he specifically called looking for wilson. he told amber to find wilson and send him. amber came anyway. it wasn't her fault either. it was no one's fault but the guy that drove into the bus. house risked his life to try and save amber's, and yeah she died but it wasn't his fault.

and with chase getting stabbed, that wasn't house's fault either. house might have taken the blame for it because if the blame has to be pinned on someone, might as well be him, right? but you can't blame him for either situation.

idk maybe im yapping too much and maybe none of this makes sense but it makes sense to me

[catboybiologist]

Hey, transfem who has only started to like her body about half a year ago here

As someone who takes a lot of pictures of themselves, do you have any resources/tips for angles or something that accentuates feminine features?

Also in regards to having a somewhat normal facial expression, like my eyes look so weird in every picture I take bc I don't know where to look

This response ended up WAY longer than I expected, and I think Imma add it to my pinned post- thanks for pushing me to talk about this! I don't think I'm really an expert here, but if people want to leave more advice in reblogs and comments, please do.

So when I say "I had two years of femboy experience before transferring to the related (and potentially overlapping) but separate field of trans womanhood" I'm only like... half joking. Selfie angles took a fucking wild amount of time for me to figure out, and guess what? The pictures I post are usually 1-3 in a set of about 20 that I take at any given time. I'm still unhappy with most pictures I take, you just gotta take a lot of them, and figure out for yourself.

That said, I think I have gotten a lot better over time. Behold, the first selfie I posted on reddit (warning for kinda cringe but I know y'all fuck with that):

(Damn, my thighs look good when I properly shave, gotta do that sometime)

(btw I'm 23 in this pic so feel free to simp if you so desire)

And another early one:

This was still selected from a bunch that were horrible, but you can really tell that my face is basically just covered in fabric entirely. My eyes look very dead in both. Compare that to:

^this one is still pre-transition, so don't blame the estrogen.

So what are my specific tips? Well, the classic "selfie angle" is from above. This angle certainly helps, but why? Personally I've found that its far less about angles are far more about lighting. Since most lighting is overhead, taking selfies from above means that you'll have a well lit face in those standard lighting conditions. Notice that in both the early selfies and the later one, the camera is actually positioned below my height level, and there's still a noticeable facial difference between them. The reason this is possible is good, forward lighting. Generally, you want a soft light source to be vaguely behind the camera, shining onto your face- but make sure its not too close, or too bright. This will ensure that harsh shadows don't artificially make your features look much different than they actually are.

Another thing that cannot be understated: DISTANCE between yourself and the camera, especially if you're using a phone camera. There are several reasons for this- notably, it'll help make the background be framed more pleasantly, as well as prevent the camera/phone itself from shadowing your face. But there's also a massive, insidious reason this happens- all phone cameras have some degree of fisheye to their lens to increase the field of view while still using compact optics. Multiple lens have helped a bit, but its still a problem on all of them. Higher end phones will algorithmically correct for this, but they also add a TON of other postprocessing "beautification" in ways that are sometimes completely invisible (insert entire rant here about how this is a deceptive marketing tactic to make a brands phone cameras seem better than they actually are). Sometimes, these edits are way off base. But I digress. The fisheye is killer because it takes any slightly more prominent feature and bulges them out, including the nose and chin. Conversely, recessed features, like eyes and the sides of your cheeks, are going to be less emphasized. Moving further away from the camera significantly reduces this. If you can get a small phone tripod and take selfies that way, it'll alleviate this. Unfortunately my living space is not large atm, and I have less motivation to bother my roommates in the common areas and use their hallways for picture taking, so this has been a little lacking in more recent selfies. It's also just a lot of work for a couple quick selfies, so its hard to do right- but it genuinely makes a world of difference.

Otherwise, my advice about eyes would be that your eyes show your overall facial expression, even if you're covering your mouth. Most of my pictures are taken while smiling slightly under the mask, and it shows in the eyes. If I want a scarier looking picture, I'm stone faced or deliberately make my entire face angrier, and you end up with the "glaring directly down the camera wanting to kill you" face. Referring to the pictures I just posted- the first two are both dead faced under the mask, whereas in the last one, I'm doing a smug, sultry smirk. The eyes then reflect that.

Don't focus on specifically trying to open your eyes wider. Change your facial expression and just let them be how they want to be in relation to that. Eye position should fully commit to looking straight into the camera, or be fully distracted with something else, imo (including the screen of your phone, if you're doing something like a mirror selfie). If you're taking a mirror selfie, look at the camera lens as it's reflected in the mirror. A HUGE takeaway is that cameras, especially phone cameras, straight up lie to you. They don't work the same way as the human eye, and have to compensate for that- but they'll never be a completely faithful representation of what you look like. Don't let your ego be affected by how you look in pictures, when all is said and done.

And of course, experiment, experiment, experiment! Figure out the lighting you can get in the space you have available, and the angles that work for you! Don't be afraid to delete selfies you don't like! Show off your style and your features in the way you want to! There are no rules for what's attractive, this is just what I do and you should develop your own style!

I guess I'll take this with both femboy and trans tags bc the selfies are pre-HRT

[space-specs]

Your Guide To Voting in 2024

Yes, you may feel like everything is horrible and hopeless, and you don't want to vote. I'm here to not do that, and give you tips and info on why. Ultimately, I do not care what you actually vote only that you try to go and fill out something.

Make Sure You Are Registered to Vote

Check your registration status. This site has a drop down to select your state, which will link you to the website to check and see if you're registered.

Not registered? Go here. This site will tell you how to get registered in your state and will link you directly to the online registration if your state offers it.

Make sure you have a government issued photo ID. Driver's license, state ID, passport, etc. Many states require to you to present some form of ID to vote. Find out what counts in your state (and exceptions and provisional ballot rules) here.

Know you'll have difficulty making it to the ballot box? Check the rules for voting by mail/absentee voting in your state and see if you qualify.

Look up your sample ballot ahead of time! Lots of places provide a sample ballot which allows you to see what all the issues are ahead of time. Since this will vary by local elections, the best way to this is to look up "[your county name] sample ballot", possibly with the year tacked on to the end of the search. This may not be available until closer to election day, but it is a great way to get prepared for voting.

Other Voting Tips

This is where I get into the bit where it matters more to me that you vote than who you vote for. This is a personal principle of mine: everyone has the right to vote regardless of if I agree with what you choose to do with that vote.

You do not have to fill out every box on the ballot. You can leave some blank! Don't want to vote on President this year? Fine! Only want to vote on President and don't want to research other issues? Also fine. In fact, you can turn in a completely blank ballot if you want, and that is a political action, too. (Tip: parties note a blank box on issues because it indicates to them you were dissatisfied with your options)

You can bring notes with you! Too many issues to keep track of? Write yourself a note, print out a sample ballot and fill it out in advance to copy over, finding a voting guide and print it. As long as it is ON PAPER, you can bring it with you. (I verified this is universally allowed here)

Don't know where to start on research? The sample ballot is a great place to start just looking up candidates, but I also recommend checking out your local chapter of League of Women Voters. They put out a voters guides for each election that list pros and cons to various issues on the ballot.

The most important and most neglected elections are your local ones. Real grassroots change might be possible in your city, if you pay attention. Too overwhelmed by all this? Pick a few local issues to focus on, like the school board or city council. My city passed a trans-inclusive non-discrimination ordinance in a red state because people rallied around a handful of progressive city council members that swayed the vote. Even if everything feels hopeless, you make things better for yourself and your loved ones by actively engaging in your local politics.

Remember it's voting AND not voting OR. I know a lot of people are extremely dissatisfied with their options for this year's election, especially at the national level. Don't stop doing what you're doing. Don't stop protesting and boycotting and donating and talking about the things that matter to you. Get involved in your community. Find ways to make a difference. But also, go vote. Please.

Thank you for reading this. I hope something in here was helpful for you, and if it was, please consider reblogging this so that others can find it as well. If I've forgotten anything important, I welcome any helpful additions and will do my best to reblog those or add them to the original post as needed!

[compassionatereminders]

You say you want to hear when people are upset with you. So here goes. I'm actually crying right now, and it's unfortunately not a good cry. You see, I found your ADHD executive function post and thought you'd be my first follow. But then I go back to my page, and the top post makes me very, very sad.

It is a repost a guy who told a rude woman that rudeness is not attractive. Not her--rudeness. She gives a hateful response back. And he acts like this is good. It's not. Rudeness makes people not want to be around you. He didn't say it made her unattractive, nor was he talking about his own personal attraction. It's a general statement. She could obviously disagree, but to attack him back like that is not compassionate. It's not worthy of praise. Yet that's what the author and you are doing with it. I do not understand why people who go out of their way to hurt others get praised in general, but from someone who says their whole goal is to be compassionate? I don't get this celebration of meanness. That's why I'm upset. This didn't slay. She misunderstood (at best) and gave a hateful response. It's not praiseworthy. It's not compassionate. Sure, she could have been rude because she had a bad day. I get that. But that doesn't mean she said a good or helpful thing.

Please reconsider posting things like that. It's weird how much it hurt.

I have absolutely no idea which post you are referring to here as I see no posts about rudeness within my recent content, but if you are crying and personally upset with me because I at some point reblogged something you didn't agree with, please don't feel obligated to follow me because that's not healthy. Please be careful with your internet presence if you're crying and personally hurt by a blog you didn't even follow sharing one post you did not enjoy the tone of. Because while I can't locate the post in question, it does not sound like we're talking about an objectively bigoted or harmful post, but a post challenging relationship dynamics in ways you didn't enjoy or agree with. Which is valid, but that can and will continue to happen without anyone having done something objectively horrible

[spirit-of-a-kiger]

Am I the only one who hates Jax?

Don't get me wrong, people are absolutely allowed to like him! Hell, I even fully understand why they do; it's really just an objective fact that that buck is attractive and was doomed to become a Tumblr sexyman from the start.

That being said, just how universal that is... makes me feel kind of alone? And I really need to vent.

(Jax lovers, if you're reading this, you probably should step away at this point. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, not even slightly. Just... for both of our sakes. I'm very unabashed in this post.)

I keep seeing people try to find some goodness in him. And that's fine! They're allowed to speculate! But honestly, like 95% of points I've seen for this argument are a pretty big stretch. I get tempted to reply as such, but I resist it because I know I would end up snapping at them if I did, and snapping at someone over a cartoon is never okay.

I hate Jax. I hate him so, so much. I genuinely, truly hope that he abstracts. The sooner, the better. Just get him out of the picture.

I don't even care about his backstory or trauma or whatever. I really think that if they try to make me feel sorry for him at this point, my response is just gonna be "'k".

It doesn't help that he has so much screentime. It makes sense if you think about it, as he is the creator's favorite character, but it really doesn't help my opinion of him.

Everything Jax does pisses me off. Literally every waking moment, he hurts somebody for absolutely no reason. And no one can stop him. He even continues to mess with Zooble - you know, the person who literally strangled him the last time he was a butt to them.

I genuinely believe that among all the other issues that would come from being trapped in the Digital Circus, being stuck with Jax every day for the rest of your life is at least in the top 3 worst. I honestly can't even imagine how horrible that would be. Like, if it were me, I would try my darnedest to shred him to pieces every time he so much as looked at me funny, but again, Zooble tried that, and all it did was repel him temporarily. Even Ragatha has pretty much given up at this point, not bothering to stick up for Gangle when Jax was bullying her while she was driving because Ragatha knew (probably from experience) that there was nothing that could be done about it.

So, yeah. This isn't entirely organized, but it's not entirely disorganized, either. I just needed to get it out of my system. It's not as good as talking, I'm finding, but it's better to do it through text than not at all. I'm not sure if I got 100% of it out, so I'll just edit or reblog or something if something new comes to mind.

[jerzwriter]

Hey there, so I am just a choices-adjacent lurker, and I've been following the Elsa/Jared drama for some time now. I don't know either of you personally. And from what I've seen, I have come to the conclusion that this situation is solidly an Every Sucks Here situation. Maybe this is not my place to say, but honestly for everyone's sake involved in the fandom, Jared complaining about you on their blog daily and you ignoring and/or vaguing lim is honestly not productive. So here's my take on things. (I am sending a slightly tailored version of this to Jared as well)

JARED: Elsa is not walking evil. In fact, she does a ton of work for this fandom for free. "Who let her have this power over our fandom by running the fic account" no one did. She saw something she could do to help the fandom, and she did it. If she wasn't doing it, then we wouldn't have a choicesficcreations blog and there would be no fic archive. She certainly spends UNPAID hours every single week curating fic lists, going through tags, and organizing fandom fics to encourage people to keep producing. Constantly complaining about her and how horrible she is isn't helping anyone, it will just make her angrier at you and even less likely to listen to your grievances. Yes, the Open Heart fandom is extremely active and yeah, it's mostly cishet MCs, but that doesn't make anyone "evil" if they're creating that way. It's probably mostly cishet players who are projecting onto their MCs so it's enjoyable for them, the same way you want to project onto your characters, and that looks different for everyone. As long as no one is actively sending you anon hate or shitting on you for your character interpretations or ships, then it's okay. They're not evil for not liking or reblogging your trans Ethan art if that's not something they feel drawn to, just like you're not evil for ignoring the twelfth fmc x ethan pregnancy fic of the week. People should create and interact with what makes them feel happy and if you see something you don't like, scroll past. It goes both ways. The truth is that most of the OH art and fics are cishet because that's what most of the active creators are. I don't know how we got here, but that is what it is, and current creators aren't terrible for creating cishet fics and art, and they aren't obligated to like or reblog your takes on the characters. But guess what, you have wonderful friends who enjoy your takes on the characters, so appreciate that. Make art for them, create stories for people in your niche. If anyone attacks you for doing that, they suck. Someone saying on their own blog "I don't ship Ethias" is not attacking you. Someone saying on their own blog "Ethias is incest because they're brothers" is gross and should be called out.

ELSA: Just buckle down and apologize. You hurt someone. Multiple someones, apparently, based on that call-out post. That doesn't make you irredeemable because everyone says and does things that hurt people, even if they have the best of intentions. But acknowledge the fact that if there is a pattern of queer people feeling hurt and unwelcomed by the fandom, and that with your influence in the fandom, you are partially responsible for that unwelcoming atmosphere. Acknowledge the fact that you have a big platform and a ton of followers and friends who love and respect you, and will see what you do and use that to guide their own behavior. You probably didn't send anons off to attack Jared intentionally, but you need to take responsibility for that because your vague-blogging and so forth inspired people to try to defend you, and they attacked someone else on your behalf. Your apology shouldn't be to use them as a scapegoat, like "I NEVER condone anon hate, y'all are terrible and not affiliated with me" it should be, "I don't condone anon hate and think it's wrong, and am so sorry that my thoughtless post emboldened other users to think that using anon hate was a justifiable response to defend me." This is the responsibility that comes with having a big following. I know that you're bi and that's great. That doesn't mean that you have experience with every single facet of the LGBTQIA+ community. You are a bi woman. That does not make you an expert on what's hurtful to a trans person, a gay or bi man, an acespec person, etc. So listen to people when they try to tell you if something was hurtful and apologize. The last thing you should do is double down because when you do, it becomes clear that you care more about how you are perceived and being RIGHT than being kind. And I think that you truly are a kind person who wants to do good and make the world a better place. So basically, take some responsibility for this issue. You're an adult with a platform. Learn, do better, listen, and apologize. And make an active effort to support queer and trans creators who may feel alienated by this fandom at times. With your influence in the fandom, you have the capacity to make this a better place for everyone but that will never happen if you continue to hide behind a mask of "positivity" and believe yourself to be the victim of a smear campaign, without recognizing your role in all of this.

That's all I really had to say. I understand if you don't want to publish this but I really think that if this were AITA the right answer would be ESH. I hope that something I said is helpful and can help set this conflict to rest.

Nonny, I wasn't going to reply because I did not want to give this insanity any oxygen, a space, or a platform. But since line after line was crossed, I had no choice but to do so. So, since I did, I have no reason to not answer you any longer.

Here is my message regarding the things they posted about me that I have seen because, admittedly, I have not seen it all.

If someone stalks your blog for almost a year and pulls at every word you say... they'll find things that are wrong. Trust me, we can look at theirs for 5 min and find PLENTY of things that are wrong. Am I saying I'm perfect? I've never made a mistake? Never said anything stupid? Never had something to learn... or unlearn? No, I am not.

And I am willing to talk to anyone here, not talk, but listen. If I have hurt them, I will have the conversation, and I will apologize, and I will do better. But I will not apologize to people who have been actively bullying me, telling me to KM, telling me to enjoy my s*icide, telling me they wish I would die, and I won't even get into the horrific anons because I cannot prove they came from them - but ironically came in at the same time this other vile shit was posted. Nonny, you cannot think on any planet that acting like that is OK. If I hurt them or anyone else, it was unintentional, and I'm happy to be corrected and learn. That is NOT what has taken place in reverse. They are not the only people in the world with mental health issues; "big blogs" have them, too. (Besides, what's a big blog in a fandom of 10? Trust me, I've gotten much hate because of their intentional posts.)

If you think I'm such a horrible person? Check out the conversation. It's fully posted now.

Do you want me to apologize? I DID with J's freaking seal of approval - it's all in the conversation.

When they decided - without telling me - it was no longer good enough for them - they did not reach out to me like they promised, the public hate campaign was restarted . And that's what it has been, a public hate campaign. Do you think Tumblr gives a shit about me or J? They don't. J's blog was taken down because they violated terms over and over and over again. Should I apologize again, so in a month they change their mind again? And start this shit all over again? Sorry, I gave J a chance. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Let's not Donald Trump "good people on both sides" this. NO. I did not start this (J admits that in our conversation). I have posted about this ONE FREAKING TIME vs. their hundreds of times. I tried to rectify it, I apologized. If I hurt anyone, it was completely unintentional; theirs is intentional, and anyone with reasonable comprehension skills can see that.

Oh and for the record, I don't fucking "vague". I'm not an asshole. If I post a fucking life quote and someone sees themself in it - that's on them, not me. Because they are NOT posted to target and I posted shit like that long before this bullshit started. I will SAY when I have something to say... I don't play those games.

You're right, I've given a lot to this fandom, but I'm fucking done. I'm not perfect, but I TRY to be kind, welcoming, I try to support and help - and then there is the otherside. All hate vitriol and never being kind to anyone outside of their friends. Like do SOMETHING positive. SOMETHING constructive. This here is no contribution.

Like everyone here, I'm flawed, and I'm imperfect. UNLIKE everyone here, I'm willing to admit my mistakes, I'm willing to learn, and I am NOT FUCKING WILLING to treat people the way this little group has treated me. Want to discuss hurt? Like this shit hasn't been hurtful. And the anons, babe, I won't even share them they're so disgusting.

So me and my 10 active followers are the problem? Come now. Maybe if others tried being decent people, they'd have more followers themselves.

I'm done with this.

Oh, wait, one more thing. Stop with the why don’t you try supporting queer creators. It’s embarrassing for you. Because in addition, being a queer creator myself, I have and I do support queercreators. I have fucking collaborated with queer creators. I created the LGBTQ archive, so it would be easier to find LGBTQIA works. What exactly is it that you would like me to do. If you’re going to accuse me of something accuse me of something I actually did because supporting queer creators is something I do, and that’s very verifiable.

[snekdood]

anyways

@sprinkledsalt

I literally showed up in two, you make plenty of other posts like this I dont engage with in this way. I dont believe generalizations are helpful and only alienate the people you're generalizing. if you wanna reach men, dont treat them all like they're the same guy and just as likely to do some shit as the kind of guys you're talking about. You dont have to make posts that say "not all men", but you also dont have to expect men to want to engage w something if they feel like they're being grouped in with the type of men you're talking about. You brought up the shooter statistics, so I wanted to start there since thats where you wanted to start.

We can talk about all the horrible things that (usually cis white) men do, but at the end of the day, are we attacking men as like a group or should we be attacking an ideology instead? because it often seems like people are just saying men as a whole are irredeemable trash and not giving any real options for how things could even change to begin with. endlessly critiquing isnt useful when theres not action to take.

I have no outrage towards you at all. The only reason I commented on this post is bc ik for a fact you specifically reblogged it bc of my tags on your other post. I wasn't gonna make a big deal out of it just wanted to share my like one sentence thought in the tags and otherwise had 0 issues with your post. But you reblogged this and if theres anything I hate more than anything its people who cant just be direct, so I decided to make it direct. The only outrage I have rn in regards to you is how you like to do shit indirectly.

If I felt like a person of color was trying to reach people but kept acting like white people were the bane of reality, then yeah, I might say something. if they're just making a personal post, then im not gonna say anything. your other post seemed like something you wanted shared.

and of course you have no answers. so why bring it up? I never said it was your responsibility, but if you ever wanna toss some fuckin ideas in the ring instead of endlessly critiquing like I said we're all ears over here.

[artflameball]

I feel the likes vs reblogs thing is a little bit more complicated than people represent it as. In my experience, people seem to think people are saying likes NEVER matter, which isn't really what they're saying (people are mostly talking about art), but I think likes can be helpful OR unhelpful. It depends on context.

Likes are good for personal posts. Like, if someone talks about how they're moving to another place, you give that a like to show you saw that and support them. And if you wanna talk about that, you leave a comment, and discuss. Reblogging that would be kinda weird.

And personally, likes on a vent post feel really nice. It feels like a hug from someone, a small reassurance that I am heard and listened to. Reblogging a vent post would be taking my issues that I talked about in my own space, and sharing them to people who do not know me for no discernable reason. It would be taking me at my lowest point to show to everyone around you. It would feel shitty. It would feel cruel.

However: this doesn't mean only liking is always good. Let's get into art, from the perspective of a rather small artist and writer.

-

(And saying it now, don't bring algorithm into this- Tumblr's shift to being algorithmic has been widely HATED by users, FOR GOOD REASON. This is the website where we all fucking hate algorithms. If we wanted an algorithm, we would go to Twitter. Tumblr runs on the dashboard, which runs on reblogs. If we liked algorithm over dashboard, no one would follow anyone because there'd be no point. Because we wouldn't see their posts at all.)

As a foreward: if you don't reblog stuff often, I don't have anything against you personally. I don't care if you just like shit without reblogging it. What I care about is when art has fifty likes and seven reblogs, or when most of those reblogs come from the artist themself. Because that is a horrible feeling. It feels like you're just being ignored. Again, I don't care if you personally don't reblog. If you've just liked, I don't have ill will against you specifically, because at that point you've melted into a list of names under a big number. I care about how big the ratios get.

-

See, in the context of art and writing, likes don't feel like hugs, or thumbs-ups, or "a little seratonin for my internet friend." They feel like nods of acknowledgement. Which doesn't feel great when all you're getting is nods of acknowledgement.

We make art for us, but we POST art for others to see and react to it, and likes don't feel like a reaction. It's like, okay you liked it, is there anything you specifically liked about it?? Did you notice the details I put into it? Does this art evoke any emotions in you? Do you have anything you wanna say about it? Do you think "This is absolutely amazing," or do you just think "Oh cool"?

In context of art, likes tell me nothing. It is just a number going up. I don't know anything about YOUR reaction to it. I just know that the number is higher than before. And I do not want that.

Fuck, a comment with just a heart emoji feels leagues better than a like. Because a single like eventually blends into the big number. A single like doesn't feel like a human reacting. A comment with a heart emoji does. (So like, if you just like a piece of art without wanting to reblog it, leave a comment with a heart emoji, it'll make the artist's day.)

-

Reblogs, on the other hand... Even a silent reblog tells me "I liked this so much that I wanted anyone who follows me to see it." Which feels leagues better than a nod of acknowledgement. And if it's not a silent reblog, holy fuck, it makes me feel amazing. It could be as simple as "I love this" or a full-blown analysis of all the detail, and while those make me feel different levels of unbridled joy, they still both evoke the feeling of joy. Reblogs, to me, aren't just "number getting higher." It's human beings, whose thoughts I can actually read, talking about my art.

"But likes ARE me saying I love it, why is that different?"

Again, the comment with heart emoji example. If it's a reblog or a comment, it doesn't blend into a list of people who nodded at your art and acknowledged its existence. You can see individual people, saying they like your art, not just "big number" and "list of people who are part of big number." If you love the art, but don't wanna reblog, please just leave a comment- it doesn't need to be all that detailed, it can just be a simple heart, or just "I love this." But for the love of god, just leaving a like does nothing for me. It just adds to the big number.

-

This problem is far, FAR worse with fanfics. As a fanfic writer, I put my heart and soul EVEN MORE into my writing than I do my art. Yet writing consistently gets way less appreciation than art. Which, I can sorta see why- reading a fanfic takes a lot more effort than looking at art, and if you don't have the energy to read it at the moment... yeah. But in that case, why not have a "save" tag? Or a "read this later" tag? No one's gonna judge you for having that tag there.

And the "other people seeing it" thing, in my opinion, is more prevalent with writing. First of all, I look at responses to my writing through the comment section, not the reblogs, while I get responses to my art from reblogs. But also... While art can emotionally effect you, writing for me can fundamentally change you. And there are fics me and my friends wouldn't know exist without people reblogging it or something related to it.

There's a fic that I think started to shape my biggest headcanon for a character, a headcanon I've gotten a lot of mileage and writing and creative joy out of, that I only know exists because I was scrolling through a tag on someone's blog, and saw fanart for that fic that they'd reblogged. I wouldn't have known it existed if not for that person reblogging it.

There's a fic my friend really wants me to read even though my executive dysfunction is kicking my ass. They've said the fanfic has given them a lot of emotions, it's incredibly written, it's an emotional masterpiece.

I am 99% sure that the ONLY reason they know the fanfic even exists is because I reblogged fic art that linked it, so I could read the fic later.

-

A lot of the discourse is framed as "wanting a lot of notes" or "wanting people to share your art." And trust me, I would love to have thousands of notes. But the only reason I would want thousands of notes is because it'd mean thousands of reblogs and comments, which would obviously have thousands of human beings saying they like my art. Thousands of people seeing it, responding to it, reacting to it. That's a wonderful feeling. I don't want thousands of notes because Ooo Big Number Good. I want thousands of notes because it would inherently mean thousands of people who appreciate what I do.

I don't want "big number." I want "human beings reacting to my art." That's why I posted it on the internet in the first place. Did I make it mainly for me? Yes, absolutely. But I posted it so people could see it, react to it.

Likes don't feel like a reaction. They feel like a nod of acknowledgement. And I don't want my art just acknowledged. I want it to be seen. I want a response.

[deathlygristly]

I searched for why people say marriage is hard, and I found a Reddit thread with an OP sincerely asking why people said marriage was hard.

I understood the OP, but the people who replied didn't. They reminded me of people I've encountered though.

Entirely personal long writing through my thoughts under the cut.

They accused him of bragging when he wasn't, they said all huffily that well some other people do have hard marriages when he never said otherwise, and they insisted that marriage being hard meant that life events happen independently of the relationship and this somehow makes the relationship hard and they refused to understand him saying okay, yeah, but actually my spouse makes the life events easier to handle.

If the thread hadn't been three years old and if I hadn't deleted my account, I probably would have replied to the person who said that parents die with yeah, we both had one die before we even met, so how does that make marriage hard?

The miscommunication seemed to be that the OP, and me I guess since I got the OP so well, was asking what specifically makes marriage hard for so many people. Almost all the people who replied instead assumed things about the OP and went off into their feelings about how oh it's nice for you that your life is perfect and I hope you pass when you get tested, you horrible bragger you, and then they implied that it was just basic life events that happen to everyone that made marriage hard.

I wonder if this miscommunication and difference in what we mean by "hard" applies to that post I reblogged about love (of all kinds, not just legally committed romantic relationships) being hard.

When I think of a relationship being hard work, I think of...well, like I said in that post, the emotionally abusive ex-friend. Like trying to be friends with someone who is constantly subtly mean to you and who randomly gets angry over things that you couldn't predict would make them angry and whose words and behavior make you feel like you're a horrible person all the time and that you can't do anything right and you probably don't deserve to have a friend or to exist. Like a relationship being "hard" to me means that it's unhealthy and emotionally exhausting and full of drama and anger and big emotions and fights and abuse.

The people who replied to the Reddit thread seemed to think more in the line of, I don't know, marriage being hard because of things like the ulcer. Which I don't think me nearly bleeding to death was very fun for either of us, but the spousal person never got angry at me about it and I didn't get angry at him. He stayed in the hospital with me and he helped deflect my mother when she got too annoying when all I wanted to do was be quiet because I didn't have enough blood. No fighting, no drama, no abuse.

I think maybe the main difference is that when I think of hard work in a relationship, I think of trying to placate someone with abusive tendencies. The people in the Reddit thread seemed to think of it as just going through life together and life not always being super easy. I looked at the tags on the Tumblr post about love being hard and honestly I wasn't able to get a good read on how the other people in that post were defining the concepts and talking about them. Thus why I was searching for other discussions about it.

Anyway, I wonder if the Reddit OP was also somewhere on the spectrum? It's just rare for me to encounter someone on the internet where I understand what they're trying to communicate like that.

[queerdiazs]

Hey, I'm a little bit anxious to ask you about this so bare with me. I saw your post on zionist fan bloggers and how people should bring awareness to the genocide and that very fact that silence is political action. And I basically agree with you. But I'd like you to pay attention to phenomenal of misinformation and scams. There is definitely no doubt of genocide and Israeli government is lying to us. But as someone who got scammed twice to the point that I had to cancel my credit cards. I developed a suspicion on any donation links from strangers. And I do help Palestinian people but unfortunately I do acknowledge that that's some evil selfish people who will take advantage of this horrible situation. And if I develop suspicion on that then I have responsibility for not reblog those posts because what if it's a scam.. like how can you assure that that this information is reliable and verified? Mayby it will take so much time until it would be too late and people would notice it and spread the word about the "scam".. and it would take one person to get hurt by it. And how would you feel if you helped that by reblog it and then found out that it was a scam..?

mm, choosing to stay silent right now is definitely a political choice, that's for sure, and i'm very sorry you've gotten scammed twice donating. you should always be wary of links from strangers and never, ever click them. you should also always make sure information and donation links you share are valid—it takes less than five minutes to do that.

and yeah, there are some scammers out there making bank off of people like you, but this isn't the first time shitheads have taken advantage of a horror like this and it's not the palestinians fault. i will continue to share what i can because that's literally the least we can do.

also, a daily click here gives funds straight to those in need. you're not logging in any card information or dealing with strangers asking for money and it's legitimate. do it every single day.

[prettypangolins]

just got a scam dm that said:

Yo hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time but I’m hoping if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat who struggles to breathe :((( and we need help to get him the tests that he needs. Thank you if you do as it would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and stay safe! Btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I dont want other blogs to think im a spambot or what, sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🥲🙏

however the blog has only been reblogging and posting for 14 hours i'm just like... go away????

i saw a post about scams like this a little while ago, so i'm wise to it but it feels HORRIBLE bc kitty. but it's usually a scam. if you get one of these, report and block. you're not a bad person for not engaging - even if it's legit, you don't have to reblog/boost/donate just because you feel bad or guilty. but also, if you're getting a dm request like the above it's very very very likely someone trying to make money by pretending to be a legit person asking for help in a way that seems genuine but isn't. i've never seen this person in my notes. idk who they are. the wording of the pinned post is designed to evoke that 'omfg i want to help!' sad response by telling you how bad things are, etc. and get you to act without thinking

but details with this one are off. i mean, the pinned post says 'next payday is on june 10th' but today is the 12th of june now and 14 hours ago in was the 11th. prior to the 'please help!' post, 9 posts were reblogged in the space of 2 minutes (not too unrealistic for tumblr), then there's the help request, followed immediately by 14 posts all with exactly the same timestamp, which... you're either reblogging desperately without looking at what you're posting from the 'for you' or 'explore' page, or that's a queue, set to dump those 15 posts at that specific time to make the blog look legit at a glance (most likely what happened). the posts after that are at more random (last post was 5 hours ago, the dm was 4 hours ago)

so yeah i feel kinda guilty, but there are people out there who rely on this to manipulate others and take advantage of our desire to help so that they can line their pockets

(also if you feel guilted into reblogging to 'signal boost' a post asking for money, it's going to be seen by followers who reblog for the same reason and maybe even give money to a total stranger who told us something bad happened and has then let our desire to help and guilt over not acting do the rest. it's okay to break the chain. we can't care about absolutely everything or help absolutely everyone, and we just burn ourselves out if we try to)

[astraystayyh]

hi :))

i just read the invisible thread part 2, after reading part 1, only to remember everything. i feel very soft and full right now thanks to what you wrote and how you write. i already said something when i reblogged the first part, but i couldn't think of something specific to say about to second, so i just reblogged it too with my 5star tag and left it there. but i do want to say thank you. i am having a very rough week for personal reasons and overthinking and those kinds of things teens like me suffer so often these days, but this morning i was lying in bed with horrible cramps and i remembered you had posted the second part to invisible thread recently, so i was willing to read it.

and i did, ofc. but the thoughts i have rn are like -i would say philosophical haha. i think the way you write helps people to understand the way they feel. i mean, i had this feeling all the time, like i should be screenshoting everything or at least being able to have the capacity of highlight some quotes like i do when i am rrading a book with my post its and my markers. all you write is absolutely beautiful, but this work you did with invisible thread will always live in my heart in some sort of way.

i am a firmly believer that we shouldn't accept anything that we don't deserve, but sometimes is hard to understand what we deserve when we are very caught up in our minds. the way you described how not only minho but also yn cared for each other, and how they learnt to be better and grew as individuals is truly admirable, and i think everyone should have the chance to read this once in their lives in order to understand a lot of things about love, and human behavior. i don't know how to say it or if i am explaining myself correctly. and even if it seems like i am crazy or something because is just some writting that someone wrote for fun to post here in tumblr, i can assure you for me is not only that.

i am in a time of my life where i am supposed to build my future self, and things like this (and quotes and thoughts i found on pinterest haha) really help me to create a world of mine where it is okay with having a bad day, or not knowing what to feel, or craving a real romantic conexion, or spending a whole afternoon procrastinating just because i didn't feel like going out and socialise. i really identify with yn, and i look forward to finding the comfort and refuge that she found in minho someday. meanwhile, you inspire me to practise so i can, somehow, somewhere in the future, get to write something as beautiful and deep as this was.

sorry for the rambling, feel free to not share/answer this, and have a lovely morning/afternoon/night ❤️‍🩹

hiii my love, thank you so much for sending in such a sweet message 🥹 i hope you're feeling better these days and I'm so happy i.t brought you some comfort :")) this truly means the world to me like I can't believe you think so highly of something i wrote ☹️ it genuinely makes me the happiest and i still can't comprehend it fully, so thank you for telling me this <3

take it slow, don't rush yourself to have it all figured out, it takes time and you need to be patient and gentle with yourself throughout it, even if you make mistakes and bad decisions, this is the only way in which we grow,, if you're kind to yourself then at the end of the day, everything will be okay, promise <333

[communicationandconversation]

Ruthless blocking as self-punishment

CW: Extended mentions of aphobia and transphobia, very brief mention of ableism, general negativity around the internet and what could potentially be considered self-harm (deliberate exposure to upsetting materials).

You know how a lot of people say getting into arguments with trolls on the internet does nothing to change the troll's mind and is just detrimental to your mental health in the long run? I'd like to take that a step further if that's alright.

(Disclaimer: this isn't really focused on language but I will be focusing a lot of my experiences as a queer person and disability to some degree as well. It's also not me telling people not to block people, it's mainly me talking about my own experiences in hopes other people might be able to relate.)

Between my tumblr and twitter accounts I have over 800 people blocked. Some of the numbers may be a bit off given the amount of bots and people deactivating their accounts over the years but it's still a lot! The internet is a divisive place and everywhere you turn there's an argument you can join a side in. But, at the same time, it can also be incredibly easy to cultivate bad habits as a result of all of this discourse.

I originally joined Tumblr in 2016 as an aroacespec young person. Other people on those spectrums who have been here that long are probably plainly aware where I am going with this, but it was not a good time to be aroace on the internet then, especially when you're just starting out in those spaces. Arguments around "cishet aceys" taking up too much space in the community and giving it a bad rep with our microlabels and flags was rife. A lot of our culture was kept quieter and quieter - the rings, the cake, the dragons - because it was considered too cringy. "Mogai hell" was enough of a phrase to send anyone packing.

So what do you do when it feels like people on the internet hate your existence? You try to fight it or barracade yourself in. Arguing or blocking, both have their merits and downfalls. When you're arguing with people about belonging in a space, chances are that the person you're arguing with won't change their mind; if anything, they're just going to dig their heels in further or twist your argument to support theirs. But at the same time, there is a chance that other people with the same identity and/or experience will see you fighting and feel less alone.

On the other hand, blocking takes away some of the satisfaction on both sides. People trying to get a rise are just getting ignored rather than recieving attention, good or bad, but you're also still aware that they're out there on the internet saying all of these horrible things, even if you yourself can't see them. For some, this is where the cycle ends, but I tried to take it even further, even if I didn't argue with anyone at any point.

"Ace discourse" had taken over all of the main tags, plus a few (see "Mogai hell") were even more direct in showing you how much people hated your aroacespecness. So, I would go on those tags frequently, find those blogs saying horrible things and go through their posts, blocking other people they reblogged from and then blocking them at the end. I told myself it was a good thing. It meant I was becoming increasingly aware of all of the main aphobic talking points and was also preemptively blocking blogs before I could come across them naturally (despite the fact I might not have come across them at all if I hadn't actively searched them out). It didn't help though. There are always more blogs to block and always more hateful talking points to come across.

You know when they have those episodes of tv shows where people think they want their friends/family/partners to be completely honest with them about everything and then the other person says something that annoys them and it just makes the person who wanted that honesty feel more insecure with themselves? It's kind of like that. It just feels your head with people who don't deserve to be there rent-free, while they have no idea you even exist and wouldn't care if you did or not. People don't want to feel like they're being ignorant but honestly there's so much hate in the world already that living life without also harming yourself is more radical than scrolling through posts on the internet with the intention of blocking every single person who's written one.

It's easier in some cases than others. I see a lot less aphobia nowadays, probably both from me not actively seeking it out and from Tumblr culture moving past it being such a popular form of "discourse". I also have a rule for myself that I will scroll past any form of AITA reddit post that has mentions of autism or other disabilities in the title because the chances of seeing people being ableist on there just aren't worth it.

But at the same time I and other people I follow on Twitter do a lot of work around the rise in transphobia, so even tweets I encounter around trans joy at the moment are bombared with TERFs and other transphobes kicking up a fuss in the comments. Once again people are dedicating so much time to hating a group that just wants to live life happily and it's kind of pathetic. Part of the reason I wrote this though is because I can feel myself slipping back into those same unhealthy routines more and more, since it's so easy to click on a tweet, go to the comments or quote retweets and just start scrolling and blocking.

So in case anyone else has been having the same troubles, hello! You deserve much better than this and if it's not for work I'd advice moving away from following accounts that focus on the doom and gloom of prejudice for a bit. Follow some cute animal accounts, artists or silly novelty accounts! If you use apps rather than websites for social media, don't be afraid to have daily time limits on them, or move to browser-only so they're more of a hassle to get to everytime.

Constant negativity isn't a viable way to live and there's a difference between ignorance and healing. I'm wishing you all the best and hopefully we'll all be able to come out of this on the other side healthier and happier than ever before. Much love! <3