#House Elves

[wisteria-lodge]

Guys who Cry in the Harry Potter Books (and Why)

Men do 30% of the crying in the Harry Potter books, even though they represent 66% of the characters (and that's pretty much as expected).* I’m interested in why the crying happens though, and what it says about the characters. For the ladies, crying is neutral - they all cry, and for all sorts of reasons (tired, frustrated, stressed, emotionally overwrought...) Bellatrix, Augusta Longbottom, Ginny, Tonks… all cry. *Hermione* cries thirty separate times over the course of the books. 

Male crying though, that's something that gets mocked (usually by Slytherins.) Pansy calls Neville a “fat little cry baby,” and after Rita’s article (falsely) describes Harry crying, Draco comes in with “Want a hanky, Potter, in case you start crying in Transfiguration?” Of course there’s also “D’you think [Hagrid]’ll cry when they cut off his hippogriff’s - ” right before Hermione slaps him. So making fun of guys for crying is bad right? 

Let’s get into it. 

1 : Crying because of a death

The most “acceptable” reason for male crying. This happens a lot, we are definitely not supposed to think any less of the guys who do it. Mostly it happens *right* at the moment of death, or maybe at the funeral. The exception is Harry, who cries in Book 3 after talking about hearing his parents dying (although the narrative voice DOES let us know that he’s kind of embarrassed about this...)

“Harry suddenly realized that there were tears on his face mingling with the sweat. He bent his face as low as possible, wiping them off on his robes, pretending to do up his shoelace, so that Lupin wouldn’t see.” 

Then he cries again in Book 7, while visiting his parents' graves. But it’s definitely still crying over a death. Just one that Harry takes a little bit longer to process. 

Crying over a Death: Full Breakdown: 

Amos Diggory: 1 (Cedric’s death) 

Arthur Weasley: 1 (Fred’s death)

Harry Potter: 3 (Hedwig, Lily, James)

Rubeus Hagrid: 4 (Dumbledore, Buckbeak, Aragog, Harry) 

Argus Filtch: 1 (thinks Mrs. Norris is dead) 

Xenophillius Lovegood: 1 (thinks Luna is dead) 

Fillius Flitwick: (thinks Ginny is dead) 

Ron Weasley: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral) 

Elphias Doge: 1 (Dumbledore’s funeral

2: Crying because of Pain

You’d think this one would also be acceptable. But… it really isn’t? Dudley cries when Vernon hits him (but Harry doesn’t.) Peter Pettigrew cries when he cuts off his own hand, Saw style, but it gets framed as blubbering weakness. Pettigrew framed SO pathetically for the entire resurrection scene - and honestly, for the entire rest of the series.

(Which is strange when you think about it. Like objectively, Pettigrew did GOOD. Sure he only likes Voldemort because he’s powerful, but so do most of the Death Eaters, that’s nothing special. Peter found Voldemort, resurrected him single-handedly (ha.) Found Bertha Jorkins,  i.e. the reason Voldemort was able to plan his comeback. Obviously he has god-tier bluffing and lying abilities, as well as enough willpower to cut off a limb. Being able to turn into a rat would make him a really useful spy. Also his spell, the one that killed thirteen muggles and destroyed a street? Most magic we see does not have a blast radius like that. Peter’s formidable. But somehow his job is to hang out and be Snape’s servant? (Is it because he’s not cute?  Is this JKR’s fatphobia rearing its ugly head? Unclear.)

Our last guy crying in pain is Book 1 Neville, after he breaks his wrist during flying lessons. He also “sniffs,” while walking into the Forbidden Forest for detention, which *might* count as crying? But really, Neville cries surprisingly little. We get a lot of “looked as though he might cry” and “on the verge of tears”... but that's not actually crying. And I think that’s because… early-books Neville, yes we’re supposed to see him as a little pathetic. But definitely not as pathetic as Dudley or Pettigrew. 

3: “Childlike” Crying

Sometimes the people who cry are literally little boys. This is also okay. No one is going to judge infant Harry for crying when Voldemort is in the house, or little Severus for crying when his parents are fighting. Interestingly, when Myrtle is talking about Draco crying in her bathroom, Harry assumes she’s talking about someone much younger: 

“There’s been a boy in here crying?” said Harry curiously. “A young boy?” 

But of course, when an adult is crying in a childlike way, it immediately becomes… pathetic. Again we have Pettigrew, who “burst into tears. It was horrible to watch: He looked like an oversized, balding baby, cowering on the floor.” In the Horcrux cave, crying Dumbledore is described “like a child dying of thirst.” Which is also meant to be pathetic, but in more of a ‘Harry has to be the adult now’ sort of way. Also, the potion seems to have made Dumbledore mentally regress back to his youth, so it’s *closer* to a literal “child crying” moment. 

(I considered putting Dumbledore drinking the potion in the ‘pain’ section, but at least in the book I think it’s clear he’s mostly in emotional rather than physical pain.)

Where this gets messy is with the house-elves. House-elves are not children, but they are presented as childlike. They are small and in-your-face, direct even though their problem-solving tends to be very convoluted/not especially logical. I like the present-tense, no pronouns way they speak, but I can’t deny it is kind of baby-talk adjacent. And… house elves are *really* emotional. Dobby, Kreacher (and Winky) cry a LOT. If I had to guess, I would say JKR likes treating house-elves as childlike so it’s more of a surprise when it turns out that one of them was behind everything. But considering that they are slaves, it is gross - considering that one of the main real-world justifications for slavery was ‘slaves are childlike, and unable to take care of themselves.'

There’s also Hagrid. With seventeen separate instances of crying, Hagrid easily cries more than any other guy in the Harry Potter books. And… well… he’s also presented as oddly childlike. He seems much more like Harry and Ron’s contemporary than a peer of the other professors - which is weird, since  if he went to school with Voldemort fifty years ago, he’s in his sixties now. But still, he’s helpless in the face of criticism, he’s comically out of his depth whenever he deals with the Ministry, he’s constantly letting things slip or drastically misjudging danger levels. The first three books all use “Hagrid gets in trouble, the gang has to bail him out” as a plot point, and in Book 4 his sideplot with Madame Maxime gets treated like a schoolboy’s first crush, with all these jokes about him wearing suits that don’t quite fit, and trying and failing to style his hair. Not to mention, we know she’s flattering him because she wants insider info on the Tournament. But he doesn��t know that. 

4. Crying because of Sports

Oliver Wood cries when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup. That's all.

And that brings us to our stragglers. The only non-childlike guys who cry for reasons other than death, pain, or sports are as follows: 

Harry Potter: 1 instance of crying

Draco Malfoy: 2 instances of crying

Severus Snape: 2 instances of crying

Albus Dumbledore: 4 instances of crying

Horace Slughorn: 1 instance of crying

Let’s see what’s going on here. 

Harry Potter

Dumbledore had weakened himself by drinking that terrible potion for nothing. Harry crumpled the parchment in his hand, and his eyes burned with tears as behind him. Fang began to howl. He clutched the cold locket in his hand so tightly that it hurt, but he could not prevent hot tears spilling from his eyes

There’s a lot going on in this moment: Harry is tired, frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed. But even though it is a complex moment, probably the main emotion is still Harry’s attempt to process Dumbledore’s death, now that he finally has a second to do so. So this honestly could have gone in the “Crying because of a death” category. It’s just different enough that I want to specially call it out. 

Draco Malfoy

We hear about Draco crying once from Myrtle, and then see it first hand: 

Malfoy was crying — actually crying — tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

The narrative takes a second to let us know that he was ACTUALLY CRYING, just to hammer in that this is something unexpected and not-normal. I think I want to attribute Draco’s tendency to cry - and cry because he’s overwhelmed, scared, lonely - to the character’s slight femme coding. What can I say, he cries for ""girly"" reasons. And so does Snape!

Severus Snape 

“Snivellus” is clearly a nickname meant to evoke the idea of “crybaby,” since “sniveling” is a synonym for crying. We also get this: 

Snape was kneeling in Sirius’s old bedroom. Tears were dripping from the end of his hooked nose as he read the old letter from Lily. 

Crying over Lily’s letter could count as crying over a death… but since he’s crying over a letter, not over a grave or her body (like in the movie), I’m going to say that he’s probably crying because of guilt, emotional overload, or love (especially because he rips the ‘love Lily’ off the end of that letter.) Like Draco, Snape might be getting little bit of femme-coding here. He’s the mean-girl type of bully (versus the mean boy) He cries, he threatens to poison people - which is something we only see women (and Draco) actually doing in these books. Idk, he’s an odd one who JKR clearly has very complicated feelings about. 

Albus Dumbledore 

I was actually really surprised that Dumbledore cries as much as he does, and at such unusual times! He cries when he sees Snape’s doe patronus - because of love or just because he’s emotionally overwhelmed. He cries all through the Horcrux cave, primarily because of guilt. He cries twice during the King’s Cross Station vision-quest, once because of his complicated feelings about Harry while he asks for forgiveness, and once over … Grindlewald.

“They say he showed remorse in later years, alone in his cell at Nurmengard. I hope that it is true. I would like to think he did feel the horror and shame of what he had done. Perhaps that lie to Voldemort was his attempt to make amends . . . to prevent Voldemort from taking the Hallow . . .”  “. . . or maybe from breaking into your tomb?” suggested Harry, and Dumbledore dabbed his eyes.

And okay. JKR announced that Dumbledore was gay just a few months after book seven was published, and I think she was folding in deliberate queer-coding as early Book 6. My proof of that is Dumbledore's increased emotionality - as we can see, it’s pretty unusual for men to cry in the Harry Potter books because of “softer” emotions like love, regret, stress etc. It’s something she associates with femininity, and I’m sure she associates gay guys with femininity as well (I mean, that’s a very common thing to do.)

There’s also this interesting passage from Book 6: 

This younger Albus Dumbledore’s long hair and beard were auburn. Having reached their side of the street, he strode off along the pavement, drawing many curious glances due to the flamboyantly cut suit of plum velvet that he was wearing. “Nice suit, sir,” said Harry, before he could stop himself, but Dumbledore merely chuckled.

Now, this is subtle. Wizards out and about in the muggle world often wear unusual colors like purple and emerald green. However. That adjective flamboyantly is only used one other time in the entire series, to describe Fudge’s hand gestures. But here, it is used to describe an outfit, a purple velvet suit which is honestly more than a little bit Oscar Wilde. And “flamboyantly gay” … those are two words often heard together. 

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure this is the only opinion about clothing Harry ever expresses aloud. And, I think @niche-pastiche hit the nail right on the head, saying that Harry's "Nice suit, sir" is "SO the response of a young adhd boy in the early 2000s trying not to say "thats gay." 

Horace Slughorn

Horace Slughorn cries at Aragog’s funeral, not really out of grief for Aragog, but mostly out of a maudlin sense of togetherness, nostalgia, and camaraderie. And… I do think we have one more slightly morally ambiguous femme-coded guy on our hands? Like Dumbledore, Slughorn is very much a flashy dresser, with shiny hair and gold buttons on his waistcoat. He loves treats and candies (hey… so does Dumbledore. They’re the only adults with a sweet tooth like that.) He loves fancy dinner parties, and is well-connected without being ambitious the way Lucius is. He also (like Draco) is aligned with pureblood-supremacy, but hyper avoidant of violence and confrontation. Except for the Harry example, I think I’d be comfortable with calling all of these last few instances “Femme-Coded Crying.” 

* Methodology - My list of 208 Harry Potter characters comes from TV Tropes, which had the most complete list. I am excluding characters from Cursed Child and the Fantastic Beasts Films. 

In order to find instances of crying, I searched for the words “cried/cry/crying” “tears” “sob” and “sniff.” I counted each crying episode as one, even if crying was brought up multiple times throughout the scene. I made the fairest call I could whenever I hit a “the crying intensified” or the “the tears restarted,” but I mostly judge pretty conservatively when I’m ringing up data.

[futurequibblerjournalist]

So I'm researching house elf names and it's noted that in canon Kreacher is the only house elf without a name ending in "y" and a reason for that is possibly that he was never actually named but that the Black family just called him Creature when calling for him and I just jvnfjbngj. I made it worse for myself too cause now I'm picturing Regulus being the reason it's spelled Kreacher instead of Creature because he was the first one to write it down but he didn't know how to spell it properly

[theprettieststarfr]

The first time I read the Harry Potter books I was 7, and so I read them in Russian. Despite the HORRIBLY translated edition that I read (Maria Spivak), where Hagrid is Ogrid and Madam Hooch is Madam Samogoni, which directly translates to "Madam Moonshine".

But some names were unchanged, like Harry and James and Sirius etc, but what I wanna talk about is Regulus. He was still Regulus Arcturus Black.

Р.А.Б., read "R-A-B", same as in English.

The thing is, if not for the fullstops, it would be an another word that exists in Russian - раб, directly translating to "slave".

And I laughed at this when I was young, at the pun that this made. But now that I think about it, it makes sense

Regulus was sort of a slave in the Black household. In terms of ideals and beliefs that his parents imposed. He got sorted into Slytherin, he became a death eater, he obeyed his parents and in the words of Sirius was "a better son than him". Regulus also defended Kreacher from Voldemort, and Kreacher was also, essentially, a slave in the household.

So yeah, just something to think about

[marauderstars]

Ways J.K Rowling did poc dirty in canon:

Making the last name of one of her most powerful black characters “Shacklebolt” - a crude af reference to slavery and just in very poor taste.

Naming her only east Asian character “Cho Chang” - a Korean surname as a first name for a Chinese character - proving she did no research whatsoever into Chinese naming traditions.

Cho’s characterization also leans in to the trope of tragic Asian female characters being defined by their romantic connections to white men, as in “Miss Saigon” or “A Quiet American.” Cho’s storyline centers on her romantic involvement with Cedric, Harry and Roger Davies. She gets no meaningful arc of her own.

The sidekick-ification of Lee Jordan.

Michael Corner being referred to as “the dark one” which is bad enough, and then him being whitewashed in the films.

Pansy Parkinson’s comment about Angelina Johnson’s braided hair looking like “worms” goes completely unpunished. Rowling treats this as standard bullying instead of a racially-charged comment. Rowling clearly didn’t understand the serious implications of this comment and its rooting in deeply-ingrained discrimination against black hairstyles, or she would have written a similar reaction to this as she did to that of Hermione being called a “Mudblood.”

House Elves as a metaphor for slaves is highly problematic because they are depicted as “liking” their enslavement and being complicit in it, much like the black slaves in “Gone With The Wind.” Despite Dobby being a beloved character, he is also seen as an anomaly for desiring freedom, and many other House Elves are depicted as grotesque, fawning, ridiculous or sinister. Pretty garbage metaphor for black slaves.

In Goblet of Fire Rowling describes a group of “African” wizards wearing “long white robes” and “roasting what looked like a rabbit on a bright purple fire.” This is just… *sigh* The way this is worded is very clearly just token exoticism and includes no genuine detail about their clothing, cultural food or nationality. It’s just “wow those zany rabbit-eating Africans and their purple fire.” Once again black characters are being used as examples of otherness rather than shown as human beings.

Rowling has openly admitted that she created a detailed backstory for Dean Thomas, one of the series’ few black characters, but did not include it in the books and included the backstory of Neville Longbottom, a white character, instead.

Approving the casting of a white actress in the role of Lavender Brown in the films, a character the majority of readers assumed was black.

The portrayal of Blaise Zabini’s “famously beautiful” black mother who was known for offing her husbands and taking their money. Like. Come on. Tbh she sounds like a queen but violent woc gold digger is still a shit trope.

Just the entire treatment of the Patil twins at the Yule Ball, the way Harry and Ron treated them and Rowling’s garbage attempt at describing their traditional clothing.

Padma Patil’s portrayal in Cursed Child as the stereotypical controlling Indian wife. The idea of ending up with her instead of Hermione being positioned as some kind of horrible alternate reality for Ron had very xenophobic undertones, and while Hermione is portrayed as black in the play, I don’t believe that Rowling originally intended her to be a black character nor that casting directors deliberately set out to cast a black actress as Hermione in Cursed Child initially.

[blackstarregulus79]

one Jegulus raising harry thing i never see is when harry come home with a s.p.e.w badge and explaining about Hermione and how obsessed she is with house elf rights right then.

Regulus then joining the club when she visits for the summer and they spend the whole day drinking tea and talking about elf rights.

harry was so embarrassed about it to.

james thought it was cute and joined as well.

they both promoted the movement at their professional quidditch games (because in my head they both became quidditch players) and it expanding beyond any of there wildest dreams.

they did respect that some house elves liked what they did but they also pointed out that not all were treated right.

so it became more about treating the elves fairly then freeing them. (mostly due to regulus's involvement)

but Hermione was always leading and running everything until she graduated Hogwarts and worked at there new foundation full time.

harry and Ron would sometimes volunteer (and Regulus would drag draco along using his god father card)

and james and reg worked there part time when they weren't playing quidditch.

can some one plz turn this into a full length fic i need to read this

[acertifiedwitch]

„A man will die, but not his ideas“ except its Regulus Black and Hermione Granger about the slavery House Elves endure.

[magiclostinfantasy]

A Potion Mishap || Theodore Nott x reader

Warnings: None (Apart from a shitty ending) Summary: Y/n and Theo find themselves in a week-long body swap after an accident with their project.

Y/n L/n and Theodore Nott were known for their prowess in potion-making, mastering nearly every potion they were assigned to brew. So it wasn’t a surprise when Professor Snape, the stern Potions Master, paired Y/n and Theodore for a challenging project. The assignment required them to brew the elusive Elixir of Luminescence, a potion rumored to glow like a thousand stars when concocted perfectly. 

Y/n, a studious and determined witch with a penchant for precision, was immediately focused on the task at hand. Theodore, on the other hand, known for his cunning and resourcefulness, saw the project as an opportunity to showcase his skills. As they gathered the ingredients and set up their cauldron in the dimly lit dungeon, they had no clue that this collaboration would lead to unforeseen consequences.

Their instructions were clear, and the stakes were high – impress Professor Snape, and the glory of mastering the Elixir of Luminescence would be theirs. Y/n meticulously measured out the moonstone dust while Theodore expertly handled the fluxweed. The air in the dungeon crackled with anticipation as they mixed their ingredients with precision.

However, in the midst of their focused work, a mischievous house-elf, intrigued by the brewing magic, appeared near the cauldron. Startled, Y/n and Theodore turned their attention to the unexpected visitor, momentarily forgetting the delicate balance of their potion.

In that fleeting moment of distraction, disaster struck. Instead of carefully adding a single drop of leech juice, both Y/n and Theodore simultaneously poured a considerable amount into the simmering cauldron. A greenish smoke billowed, filling the air with an acrid scent that hinted at the unexpected turn their project had taken.

As the greenish smoke began to dissipate, revealing the chaotic aftermath of their unintentional potion experiment, Y/n and Theodore exchanged nervous glances. Professor Snape's piercing gaze bore into them, and with a subtle nod, he signaled for them to continue their work.

Undeterred by the setback, Y/n and Theodore resumed their brewing with newfound determination. They exchanged hushed whispers, strategizing on how to salvage their project and impress the ever-watchful professor.

The minutes stretched into hours as they painstakingly followed the revised steps, compensating for the unexpected influx of leech juice. Beads of sweat formed on Y/n's forehead as Theodore stirred the cauldron with controlled urgency. The dungeon's atmosphere became tense, a palpable mix of anticipation and anxiety hanging in the air.

After what felt like an eternity, the potion reached its final stage. Y/n cautiously added the powdered moonstone dust, and as the ingredients merged, a soft glow enveloped the cauldron. The Elixir of Luminescence radiated a mesmerizing light that danced like miniature stars within the liquid.

Professor Snape's stern expression softened slightly as he observed the potion. It seemed their efforts had not gone entirely unnoticed. With a curt nod of approval, he dismissed them, leaving Y/n and Theodore to bask in the mixed emotions of relief and accomplishment.

As they exited the potions classroom, the weight of the mishap lingered in the air. Y/n couldn't shake the feeling that they had messed something up. Theodore, ever the pragmatist, tried to reassure Y/n, reminding them that their potion had, against all odds, succeeded in captivating Professor Snape's attention.

The following evening, Y/n and Theodore gathered in the Slytherin common room to discuss their success with the Elixir of Luminescence. Excitement and relief filled the air as they relished in the triumph of overcoming the potion mishap. 

As they clinked their goblets in a toast, the potion worked its subtle magic.

Y/n felt a sudden dizziness, the room spinning around her. Theodore, too, sensed an inexplicable shift. Their surroundings blurred, and before they could comprehend what was happening, they found themselves standing in the common room - but something was off.

Y/n stared in disbelief at Theodore, who was staring right back with widened eyes. Their voices exchanged in a surreal twist as Theodore spoke in Y/n's voice, "What just happened?"

Y/n, now in Theodore's body, responded with a disoriented tone, "I... I have no idea. This wasn't supposed to happen."

A wave of panic swept over them as they frantically tried to make sense of the situation. Theodore, awkwardly adjusting to Y/n's body, exclaimed, "Merlin's beard, we swapped bodies!"

Y/n, grappling with Theodore's taller frame, replied, "This has to be a side effect of the potion. We need to figure out how to reverse it!"

Theodore, fumbling with Y/n's wand, muttered, "Reverse? Right, get the potions book." They huddled over the textbook, their fingers flipping through pages, searching for a solution.

In the midst of their frantic search, Y/n muttered, "This is insane. How did we manage to brew a body-swapping potion accidentally?"

Theodore, now reading aloud, answered, "Apparently, an excessive amount of leech juice amplifies the potion's effects. We've brewed a week-long body-swap potion. Great."

Y/n, realizing the gravity of the situation, sighed, "A week? In each other's bodies?"

Theodore nodded grimly, "Seems like it. We better make the best of it and try not to draw attention."

As they reluctantly accepted their predicament, the common room door creaked open. Pansy Parkinson, always curious, stepped in and looked at them quizzically. "What's going on? You two seem... different."

Y/n, attempting to imitate Theodore's nonchalant demeanor, replied with an awkward smile, "Oh, nothing, just experimenting with a new charm."

Pansy, raising an eyebrow, shrugged and left them to their devices. As the door closed, Y/n and Theodore exchanged uneasy glances, realizing that the challenges of adapting to each other's lives had just begun.

The following morning, Y/n and Theodore wandered awkwardly through Hogwarts in each other's bodies, garnering curious looks from fellow students. Their footsteps echoed in the corridor as they headed to the library, hoping to find a solution within the dusty tomes.

Y/n, still adjusting to Theodore's taller frame, grumbled, "I feel like a giraffe. How do you manage like this?"

Theo, struggling with Y/n's more delicate features, retorted, "Well, at least I don't have to crane my neck to see the top shelf."

They entered the library, earning stern glares from Madam Pince, who clearly disapproved of their presence. Y/n scanned the shelves while muttering, "We need to find something about reversing body-swaps. It can't be that uncommon, right?"

Theodore, riffling through a book, replied, "I hope so. I'd rather not spend the whole week trying to be you."

Y/n chuckled, "Trust me, being you isn't a walk in the park either."

They delved into the books, whispering incantations and searching for clues. Y/n, growing more frustrated, muttered, "This is impossible. We're stuck like this."

Theodore, attempting to reassure, said, "We'll find a way. We just need to keep looking."

Suddenly, Y/n's eyes widened as they stumbled upon a section about accidental body-swaps. "Wait, I think I found something. There's a reversal spell, but we need Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws."

Theodore leaned in, peering at the page, "Where on earth are we going to find those?"

Y/n thought for a moment, "Snape’s storerooms. We'll need someone to gather the ingredients for us."

Theodore grinned mischievously, "Leave that to me. I'll be back before you know it."

As Theodore left the library, Y/n sighed, "This week is turning out to be more complicated than I ever imagined."

Theodore snuck into Snape's storeroom. The dimly lit room was filled with an array of magical ingredients, jars, and peculiar specimens. Theodore whispered to himself, "Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws... Where would Snape keep those?"

Back in the library, Y/n's focus was momentarily broken when Draco approached her. Draco, not recognizing Y/n in Theodore’s body, said, "You left your diary in the common room, man. You should thank me, Pansy almost read it."

Y/n, surprised by the unexpected courtesy, took the diary and mumbled a thank you. As Draco turned to leave, curiosity got the better of Y/n. With Theo’s diary in hand, she couldn't resist the temptation to sneak a peek.

Flipping through the pages, Y/n discovered his innermost thoughts, penned down in ink. The revelations hit like a storm – Theodore Nott had a crush on her. The words spoke of admiration, subtle attempts to get closer, and a longing that had remained hidden beneath the surface. Y/n's heart raced as the implications of Theodore's feelings sank in.

Meanwhile, Theodore, now with the Occamy eggshells and Dragon Claws in hand, exited Snape's storeroom and found himself unexpectedly bumping into Pansy in the hallway.

Pansy, raising an eyebrow, remarked, "Y/n, you seem a bit off today. Everything alright?"

Theodore, momentarily taken aback, stammered, "Yeah, just... you know, potion mishap things. Nothing to worry about."

Pansy, oblivious to the body-swap, continued, "I wanted to talk to you about Theo. You two have been spending a lot of time together. Did you finally get the guts to ask your loverboy out?"

Theodore, shocked by Pansy's revelation, managed to say, "What? No, we're just working on a potion project together. Nothing more."

Pansy smirked, "Sure, girl. Just remember, you can tell me anything."

As Pansy walked away, Theodore, still processing the newfound knowledge about Y/n's feelings, made his way back to the library. However, he decided to keep the revelation to himself for now, unsure of how to navigate the delicate situation.

Back in the library, Y/n, their heart still pounding from Theodore's confession in the diary, awaited Theodore's return, unaware of the brewing storm of emotions and revelations that would soon reshape the dynamics of their relationship.

Theodore entered the library with a conflicted expression, struggling to process the bombshell that Pansy had dropped. As he approached Y/n, still immersed in the library's sea of books, he hesitated before saying, "Found the ingredients. Snape's storeroom is like a labyrinth."

Y/n looked up, and the air seemed to crackle with tension. "Good. Let's get started on brewing this reversal potion. The sooner we fix this, the better."

Theodore, attempting nonchalance, replied, "Right, no need to spend any more time in each other's shoes than necessary."

As they set up their makeshift potion-making station in a secluded corner of the library, Y/n couldn't help but notice the subtle changes in Theodore's demeanor. "Is everything alright, Theo?"

Theodore hesitated for a moment, then sighed, "It's just... Pansy. She asked if we were dating. I had no idea she thought that way."

Y/n, suppressing a smirk, responded in Theodore's deep voice, "Well, the Slytherin Prince might have some admirers."

Theodore, looking genuinely perplexed, said, "This isn't a joke, Y/n. I've never considered... you know, us."

Y/n, in Theodore's body, raised an eyebrow, "Really? Never?"

Theodore's eyes shifted, revealing an unspoken truth. "I mean, we're friends, right? But I never thought..."

Y/n felt her heart drop, "It's complicated. But, I found something interesting in your diary."

Theodore's eyes widened, "You read my diary?"

Y/n, in a teasing tone, replied, "Couldn't resist. Turns out, you've got a crush on me. Who would've thought?"

Theo blushed, a rare sight for the usually composed Slytherin. "Look, Y/n, it's not like I planned for you to find out this way."

Y/n, placing a reassuring hand on Theo's, said, "No harm done. Let's just focus on fixing this mess for now."

Theo, grateful for Y/n's understanding, nodded. "Okay. Let's brew this reversal potion and put an end to this madness."

As they gathered the ingredients and followed the intricate steps of the potion, the air became charged with tension.

Y/n, breaking the silence, said, "You know, Theodore, being in your shoes for a while... it's not as easy as it seems."

Theodore, stirring the potion with a thoughtful expression, responded, "Same goes for me, Y/n. Your life is more complicated than I thought."

They continued the delicate process of brewing, occasionally sharing anecdotes about their respective lives. The library, once a sanctuary of knowledge, transformed into a confessional where Y/n and Theodore laid bare their thoughts and emotions.

As the potion neared completion, Theodore looked at Y/n, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. "I never expected this potion mishap to bring us to such a revelation."

Y/n, smiling, replied, "Sometimes, the unexpected moments reveal the most about us."

With the reversal potion finally completed, they stood back, glancing at each other with a mix of relief and newfound understanding. The potion shimmered with the promise of returning them to their original selves.

Theodore, extending a hand, said, "Shall we do the honors, Y/n?"

She nodded, "Together, then."

As they recited the incantation, a burst of magical energy enveloped them, and the library seemed to sigh in relief. The world spun and then the magic settled.

Y/n and Theo, now back in their own bodies, found themselves standing in the dimly lit hallway outside the library. The air between them hung heavy with anticipation, the newfound awareness lingering like a spell in the enchanted air.

Theo, his eyes filled with a mixture of nervousness and longing, gently brushed a strand of hair from Y/n's face. "So, um, about what happened in the library..."

Y/n, giving Theo a playful smirk, let out a soft laugh, "You mean the part where you've been hiding a secret crush on me? Seems I've been oblivious to the Slytherin Prince's affections."

Theo blushed, a warmth spreading across his cheeks, "Well, when you put it that way..."

Y/n, closing the distance between them, reached out to trace a gentle path along his jawline, "No need to be embarrassed, darling. It's surprising, but in the most enchanting way."

Theodore, captivated by Y/n's touch, looked into their eyes with a mix of relief and anticipation. "Surprising, huh? I wasn't sure how you'd take it."

Y/n, sincere and tender, whispered, "Truth is, I never expected this either. But I’m glad it happened"

Theodore’s fingers delicately entwined with Y/n's as he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with Y/n's. "So, how do you feel about... us?"

Y/n, their lips mere inches apart, whispered, "I like you Theo. More than you know."

Theodore, sensing the unspoken desire, leaned in, their lips meeting in a soft, lingering kiss. As they hesitantly pulled back, Y/n, feeling a surge of courage, pulled him back for another.

Theodore, his gaze filled with adoration, replied, "Be mine, Y/n. I can’t go a day longer without you by my side."

[iamnmbr3]

i know i can't let this go but WHY did JKR retcon the house elves the way she did. when we first meet dobby harry is horrified by his enslavement. and the people who own him are the malfoys - a villain coded family. and harry frees him in the end of the book. so far so good. but then we find out that slavery is rampant in the wizarding world and hogwarts where the good guys are is run by an army of slaves. and only hermione is upset by this and it's treated as a running joke that she thinks slavery is bad. and it's retconned that dobby is just weird for wanting freedom from the family that regularly abuses him. ???????????!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[platonicmoonwater00]

yall im podficcing a marauders fic call a string of consequences by semistrawberry go listen

(also bonus if you dont look up what the ship is and instead let yourself be surprised)

edit: dude it deleted the tags ranting about arcane

i think i did too many

[lilithofpenandbook]

Hey if house elves have to fulfill their masters' commands to the letter

Could ordering one to kill Voldemort actually work-

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

So, ignoring what JKR intended them to be and fandom's various attempts to fix them, what do you, the Watsonian Cynics, believe House Elves actually were?

Previously on the topic of house elves. The time people asked me to 'fix' them and I said 'we don't do that on this blog' and also there's no good way to do it because JKR clearly wanted what JKR wanted.

This is a case where I think they are what they said on the tin: a humanoid but non-human race who at one point or another were bound into servitude to wizards.

To me it doesn't really matter how it happened or if there was any reason why (or whatever justifications wizards give themselves), I only know what see now and it's very not good.

[wisteria-lodge]

wait there are no house elves in malfoy manor? i mean it's possible that during the time voldemort and the others where there the house elves could just be in prison or they are there and jkr just didn't mention them

because let's say there aren't house elves and voldemort and the death eaters are there, who would have prepared the meals or whatever things guest needs when they visit or stay in someone's house

In Harry Potter, we see a few other strategies for maintaining and running a magical house. Let’s break it down.

OPTION ONE: NON-MAGIC PEOPLE vs HOUSE ELVES

Yep, we are going to be dropping some Filtch lore today.

So in canon, it’s really hard to explain why that man (who isn’t able to do magic) has that job (caretaking an entire magical castle.) But I’m going to do my best to make it work. Because pre Statute of Secrecy, it actually makes a lot of sense that old medieval buildings like Hogwarts and Malfoy Manor would have been staffed by muggles. 

I mean, the only reason you build castles (big, easily defensible fortresses) is so they can be the last line of defense if anything happens to the serfs who are renting/farming your land. The peasants supply food/clothes/weapons/luxury products to the Lord of the manor/castle, and in return they are protected (in theory.) That’s feudalism. If anything, being a wizard would just make you a better Lord. There’s no way the Malfoys or the Founders would have been sitting at the center of a community of only wizards, there aren’t enough wizards. Also, if you want someone to run/maintain your house and you’re choosing between Muggles and house-elves… in a lot of cases, muggles are actually better.

Like okay, house-elves are slaves, which means they would be cheaper than Muggle peasants, but like… not a lot cheaper. Also, there’s got to be some upfront cost of time/money/effort in order to catch a house-elf and bind them to your house. Once you start getting generations of house-elves that’s not a problem, but when you’re setting up a household… yeah I think getting in a staff of muggles would be quicker and easier.

The other thing house elves do have in their favor is that they’re really really powerful. A single house-elf is much more effective than a single human servant. But… they’re also kind of too powerful? If you have a human servant who betrays you, does a bad job, or that you just don’t like… you can fire them, imprison them, and (if you’re a wizard) oblivate them so they can’t tell anyone your secrets. 

None of that works with house-elves. Unlike a human you can’t bribe them (because they have a culture that doesn’t value money.) You can’t imprison them (because whatever magic prevents wizards from apparating doesn’t work on them. Dobby gets in and out the Malfoy dungeons just fine.) I’m also assuming you can't obviate them, because if you COULD then oh my god, Barty Crouch Senior would have 1000000% obviated Winky. 

Until house-elves are freed they do seem to have some magical compulsion that prevents them from speaking ill of their masters…  but they can clearly still mess their masters up pretty bad if they want to. Dobby spends all of Book 2 undermining Lucius. Kreacher spends all of Book 5 undermining Sirius (and honestly is the catalyst for the Battle of the Department of Mysteries.) This doesn’t even seem out of the ordinary: Tom Riddle framed Hokey for Hepzibah Smith’s murder, and apparently everyone bought it. That's another reason a muggle would be a solid choice: even if they wanted to kill a wizard, it would be nearly impossible. But Kreacher and the Hogwarts house-elves actively fight wizards during the Battle of Hogwarts.

So if you have a house-elf that you can’t trust, basically your only response is to free them. Which is bad, because they know all your secrets and can now talk to whoever they want (Dobby absolutely bad-mouths the Malfoys after he's freed. It’s super plausible that Winky could’ve said something about Barty Junior while she was smashed off Butterbeer.) So really… the only truly safe option is to kill them. And it seems like you have to kill them by hand, like with a sword. The Blacks did sign up for this, and we can see their wall of decapitated house-elf heads as proof. House elves do make more sense for the Blacks, because I'm thinking if they became powerful at around the same time as the Statute, they would have been setting up new muggle-less households, not adapting old ones to the new paradigm. But then, not everyone is as hard-core as the Blacks. The Malfoys, for example, actually seem quite squeamish about violence. Draco is also very happy to refer to what Hagrid does as "servant stuff," which means he's comfortable with that particular worldview.

Now, Hogwarts also has house-elves, and they certainly don’t seem to kill them. Of course it's a school rather than a house - if one of those elves went rouge, what damage could they really do? Compare that to Dobby who like, if had wanted to put Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban… he could give some really damning evidence. Lucius Malfoy’s defense was that he was under the Imperius curse. Dobby knows that’s not true. Dobby knows where all the contraband in that house is, Dobby knows that diary belonged to Voldemort, he knew Lucius was threatening Hogwarts on purpose. Maybe elves aren’t allowed to testify in front of the Wizangamot, but Dobby, bring that info to Arthur Weasley. Bring it to Dumbledore. If I were Lucius Malfoy, I would be terrified. Even if I had other house elves, I don’t know if I’d keep them around after second year. Definitely not after Kreacher went rouge and betrayed Sirius, which *Narcissa* knows all about.

Hogwarts also has Filch (and Hagrid, who *also* can't do magic, at least on paper.) And I guess I could see an interpretation where if Hogwarts was initially designed to be run by Muggles, then maybe there are certain functions of the castle that can only be performed by Muggles. Like, we all know there’s something weird going on with Mrs. Norris. She’s too smart, she’s the only animal who shows up on the Marauder’s map, she’s telepathically bonded with Filch. So, maybe she is the manifestation of some magical function that oversees the castle, and maybe you need someone without magic to properly access her magic. Like if a witch/wizard tried to bond with her, their magic gets in the way of the castle’s magic. I’ll buy that. 

Eventually though, Salazar Slytherin started becoming wary of Muggles, so maybe he started a process of phasing out any muggle servants working in the castle and replacing them with house-elves. That makes sense to me. And if the castle needed non-magic workers… squibs would be a good compromise. 

OPTION TWO: AUTOMATED MAGIC

So we know you can cast a spell on an object, and then that object will just sit and do nothing until the spell is triggered. Fred and George’s hats don’t do anything until you put them on - and then they turn your head invisible. You are not doing anything to cast the spell, it’s all in the hat.  Presumably their cloaks and gloves that deflect curses work the same way. 

We also see a lot of this kind of delayed-action magic when it comes to magical protections for locations. Dumbledore has spelled Grimauld Place to send specters at anyone who comes through the door. Muggle-repelling charms don’t do anything until a Muggle comes in proximity. Voldemort’s inferi trap in the cave is filled with magical objects that don’t activate until certain conditions are met. Also, these are not single-use protections that you need to replace every time they’re triggered. Once they're set up, it seems like they keep working until they're taken down.

We also know that there are plenty of spells to make running a household easier. We see Mrs. Weasley use spells to cook, to make clothes, she has whole books full of household magic. So my thought is - if you can bewitch the outside of a house to respond to certain conditions, then why not the inside of a house? How hard would it really be to bewitch a fireplace so it turns on every time someone walks into the room? I bet you could get beds that make themselves, carpets that clean themselves, make it so that certain meals are always cooked at certain times, and served in specific places. The house probably cycles through a set number of meals, and some of the food options would be slightly eccentric because that piece of food-magic was set in 1702. But it all seems very doable, in a programmable smart-house sort of way. Especially if you’re the Malfoys and have nothing but money, time, and a love of the ~*~*aesthetic*~*~ Because the aesthetic of a house like this would be absolutely peak. Very spooky fairytale, invisible servant, romantic Beauty-and-the-Beast castle vibes. 

I think this is the option that Malfoys would have chosen, when they no longer had access to Muggles to run their house for them. Apart from the heightened security and a cooler aesthetic, the Malfoys were very against the Statute of Secrecy, so I bet that (for a while at least) they were kind of hoping that it would be reversed and things would go back to the way they were. So, not as motivated to start building up a household staff of house-elves, which is a pretty irreversible decision. 

The Malfoy also like to keep secrets. In the present day of the book, we know they have contraband cursed objects, contraband poisons, a hidden room to keep all of their contraband in underneath the drawing room floor. I don’t think this is a particularly recent state of affairs. Going back to the 1700s, if the Malfoys were ordered to cut off all these very profitable ties with the muggle world… yeah they’re not doing that. They are definitely hiding income coming in from the muggle world, or muggle retainers that they were kind of supposed to obviate and didn’t. 

In the main timeline of the books, I think it makes a lot of sense that Dobby is a Black family house elf that came over with Narcissa when she and Lucius were first married. And I say that because… Dobby is a mess, and Lucius Malfoy puts a lot of stock in looking good while out in public. The Hogwarts house elves look neat and presentable. Winky’s tea-towel toga looks clean and neat. Dobby is shambling around a snot-stained torn pillowcase, is Lucius not embarrassed? 

My thought is that he kind of resents Dobby: he’s the Black family passive aggressively saying that Lucius can’t take care of Narcissa, or maybe he suspects that the Blacks are sending Dobby over as a spy, whatever. But whatever the reason he can’t get rid of him - first because he doesn’t want to offend his in-laws (Dobby is the equivalent of an ugly lamp that you keep in the closet unless the people who gave you the lamp are visiting.) Then Dobby witnesses the entire war, which makes him way, way too much of a liability to free. 

So that’s my answer. tl;dr - the Malfoys are a very private family with a long-standing distrust of the Ministry, with a house that was set up to be run by Muggles. It makes the most sense that they have retrofitted that house with automated magic, until it’s basically able to run itself. And then, whenever they’re throwing an event, or something a little too complicated for the house's magic to handle… just hire in a staff of wizards to work one or two nights.

[nizar-dreams]

As amazing as Fantastic Beast is with all of the interesting creatures and additional lore, I loathe the take on the American Magical World. And not because American pride (‘Merica🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅) but because that might work in New York, but that social structure sure as fuck don’t work the farther west you get.

Each state is different, it gives them their charms, and each state also has… drumroll please 🥁🥁🥁🥁

NATIVE AMERICANS!!! Yes the people who’ve been on these lands since before the first of the 13 colonies even existed!!!

Can you imagine Magical America? The creatures who lived alongside tribes? The giant forests? Hell, the other sentient beings like the centaurs, goblins, elves, etc.? Imagine:

The great Rivers and Lakes guarded by the merfolk and swimming with the great salmons, occasionally assisting the tribes along their borders so they all may share what the waters have to offer them

The great Plains and Forests with centaur tribes being mighty and powerful, guardians of the lands and occasionally allying with the human tribes

Elves that are still short but mighty and healthy and who get mistaken for native children when they live alongside human tribes

Goblins living deep in the caves of mountains, living happily with little human interaction besides for trading for safe passages and materials.

Imagine the werewolves loving their inner wolves and having their own tribes and living peacefully in their homes.

Imagine that, for thousands, and hundreds of years they lived in peace, occasionally waring against themselves but things happen of course but they way the magic and earth had never been so healthy as it was. Gods imagine Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon? Or the Mojave Desert? The great basins, the plateaus…

And then, when the Europeans started claiming the land that the magical beings fought to protect the lands they have lived on for centuries, the creatures of the forest hiding the remnants of their great lands from human eyes and hands, protecting the magic that slowly dies as the land gets destroyed and the magical beings who called those lands home started to die and could no longer protect the land.

That they tried to cling and hide and fight for their homes with whatever they could, but when the magical Europeans got involved it just went to hell for the magical beings.

The Native Reservations, National Parks/Lands, and deep into the mountains, are some of the few places that magical creatures can live in relative peace. The centaurs are not as many, and the elves either live on the reservations or the forests. The goblins are not like their European kin, but they are not the same as they were, now instead of trade for safe passage it is trade for protection of human materials or trading for goblin creations. The merfolk have perished in most lakes and rivers where humans have polluted or hunted their food to extinction. The magical creatures who once lived on the land are either hunted down for sport or for being declared born of hell.

Now imagine Ilvermorny, created by a mother who wanted her children to learn magic, and turned into a way for tribes to take shelter and teach their ways as well as learn other ways for magic. The school cropping up in the midst of Magical Americas downfall becomes a place that the few tribes not driven out of their home learn different form of magic while creating a foundation for Native American magic to survive and be taught in the school. Imagine multiple sister schools (because America is too big for there ti be only one school) to the original Ilvermorny being created to teach, to embrace and preserve a culture they refuse to let be erased.

Years later and it is a core course that gets taught, and keeps a part of a culture alive that was on the bring of complete erasure.

Imagine that when African slaves started appearing and become enslave, those who escaped and found themselves at Ilvermorny schools, they started teaching their magics as well. Then as more minorities started to appear in America, so did the lessons in certain Ilvermorny schools where these minorities were prevalent.

America is a cauldron full of magical cultures being mixed, and Ilvermorny is the first to openly teach different magical cultures. The southern schools involve more Mexican, Spaniard, some French, and African magical courses, while the north is more French. The east coast is more influenced by British magics, while the west coast is influenced by the Spaniard, Chinese, and Russian.

They all had their own mix and all have the main course shared by the people who lived their first, but magical america is sooo much more more fascinating and so young still! There is still so much that I can’t possibly cover without a month of research! And we haven’t even reached the southern hemisphere!

Fantastic Beast is great, but it’s missing the uniqueness and complexity of America. And I can only dip a finger into the endless possibilities of the magical American world.

[dramioneasks]

How To Become Minister - serenergen - E, WIP - Post-war wizarding Britain is struggling and the population is dwindling. It’s 2009 and Hermione Granger is on the fast track to becoming the youngest Minister for Magic. But power in magical Britain is precarious. In a second, Hermione's world comes crashing down. A marriage law is invoked. Hermione must pioneer it or risk everything she holds dear. One way or another, she would be Minister. She just didn't expect to be doing it with Draco Malfoy at her side. OR If no one would let her be Minister, she was going to take it. And Draco Malfoy was going to help her do it.

[kingstarkingslay]

Sirius: "I once convinced Regulus that house-elves didn’t understand English."

James: "Seriously?"

Sirius : "Indeed. Regulus then spent a week trying to communicate with Kreacher using sock puppetry."