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macabreroni · 3 days ago

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review i read on the offical ultrakill gabriel bodypillow

”

Laura T.

I am said friend who is delusional. Gabriel helped me through a breakup.

“I spent 3 years of my life chasing after a man, thinking he was the one. One day said man decided to break up with me. I was absolutely so distraught and falling back into him in the beginning all the time, I thought I couldn't live without my boyfriend. I was no stranger to Gabriel at the time of my breakup, but it never crossed my mind to obtain a body pillow of him. My lovely friend Charlie decided that providing the angel into my possession would boost my morale. As Charlie bought me this cover and the body pillow, I didn't think it would do all that much for me. I hid him from my parents, being embarrassed that I'd have a body pillow in my bed. To my surprise, upon his arrival everyone loved him. My cat lays near him and he is always included in every conversation I have at my bed. Upon being entertaining, Gabriel has a bunch of other qualities that I like. Gabriel is very soft and cold, perfect for when you overheat in your bed. Gabriel is also the perfect husband and friend. He will never yell at you for showing him a stupid TikTok. He never complains every either, which is wonderful. When you cry on him he will be there for you and let him lean on you. My only complaint is that he doesn't support me financially but I guess him being an angel makes up for him. I wouldn't expect Gabriel to be able to hold a 9 to 5 job anyway. Other than that, Gabriel has been a wonderful and healthy boyfriend/husband. He genuinely loves me more than my ex boyfriend did. Even through a screen, when I didn't have my pillow he would pay attention to me more than any ex boyfriend did. The best part and the most distinct part about this Gabriel pillow is how comfortable he is to cuddle. At night, I used to make my ex boyfriend sleep on call with me because I had absolutely horrible and soul crushing anxiety. Some days I would stay up for 48 hours because of how I couldn't sleep. genuinely one of the first thoughts I had when he broke up with me was about what I was gonna do when I had to go to sleep. The moment I laid my head on Gabriel's chest I passed out, I'm not even joking. Gabriel was so comfortable that he fixed my dependency on people to sleep with me on call. Gabriel is big enough to simulate another person being in your bed, which is exactly what I needed in my dire times. Not only that, when sleeping Gabriel has 2 sides. "Sexy" and "Protective". When sleeping on the side of protection I genuinely felt all of the paranoia that I have been harboring from my 18 years of living instantly disappear. He is genuinely one of the best things to cross my life to be honest. If I was in possession of Gabriel a year and a half sooner I think I would have broken up with my boyfriend because of how well Gabriel has treated me. I cannot believe that Gabriel was more accepted into my family than an entire human being. Although he can't speak to me, I can feel the love radiating from him. The only complaint I have about this body pillow is that when I was trying to stuff the pillow inside Gabriel, the seam ripped. Although this happened and there was a bunch of popping and ripping noises coming from Gabriel while I wrestled with him to get him to fit around the pillow, he fit in and the seam ripping isn't noticeable. The busted seam doesn't interfere with Gabriel whatsoever and he is very durable to throw around and move. Though be prepared to spend a lot of time wrestling to get him in like I did, that was an entire workout. Other than that, Gabriel is perfect. I would buy this body pillow for all of your loved ones that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart. Gabriel is the perfect gift for anybody who loves him. The more I think about it, the more I realize why my boyfriend would not buy this for me. I think he was afraid of losing the competition.

It's honestly so sad that you do below the minimum amount of effort a lifeless body pillow does. I have not felt the urge to talk to my ex since I have gotten my body pillow of Gabriel, which is absolutely amazing because I fold so bad. Gabriel has singlehandedly ceased my tears for my ex, and the tears that fell because of this man Gabriel caught them and comforted me. I have never felt so emotionally stable in a breakup, and it's all cause of Gabriel. I don't think I'll ever find a man to hold me like Gabriel does. I am in debt to the person who bestowed upon me this wonderous body pillow and I am in debt to the person who came up with this lustrous design. I have never felt happier in my life knowing that there is an angel to watch over me. For the low price of 50 dollars you could too experience the joy that I have been nonstop experiencing. I don't think $50 is enough for the joy that I have experienced. Some people say that money can't buy happiness, but money did buy happiness. I am convinced that if this body pillow could, it would cure cancer. Not only that but my hormone deficiency fixed itself within a week of Gabriel arriving at my doorstep. 5/5 stars, thank you!”

#wow #this is amazing #ultrakill gabriel #gabriel ultrakill #also gabriel ultrakill

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oddp1ant · 3 days ago

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Talking here instead of in the tags on this post because. My head is steaming.

This version of Viktor is 1) human and 2) older. In my dream reality, this implies that the de-arcanified version of Viktor we see at the end of ep 9 survives, regains physical form but is forever changed by the arcane = a mage, who eventually travels through time/realities to give Jayce the guidance he needs as a child and in the post-apocalypse wasteland, effectively securing the timeline in which he (and the rest of the world or w/e) survives, making it a closed loop. I like to think Jayce is with him for most of it, both of them figuring out their new magical interdimensional existence together.

Ofc, the take I've been seeing most of so far is that Jayce and Viktor were both destroyed in that final moment. I mean yeah, being at the center of hexcrystal/gem/shard activity like that tends to do that to people, as we've been repeatedly shown, but they were also in the weird metaphysical arcane-space when it happened so I'm honestly not sure the same principles apply. If that is the end for them, I guess mage-Viktor was just a product of some other reality where that was the trajectory for him, who due to his magic was able to see all the infinite Bad timelines and took it upon himself to interfere with this one to prevent them, likely nullifying his own and himself in the process. This is cool too, but makes mage-Viktor feel a bit like a random Deus ex machina since we have very little sense of where he came from or how he became what he is.

I may be delusional, but I feel like there's hope in Jayce's face when he sees mage-Viktor. Seeing him human again, seeing him older (something I am personally in tears over - Viktor getting to grow old ;;;;) seems to give him hope that there's a way back, AND a way forward for them!!! Idk. I'm crazy.

[Screencap credit to @lesbian-sansa]

Edit to add: I guess my mind skipped over the option that mage-Viktor is the post-apocalyptic reality's Viktor, who presumably went full glorious evolution, saw that it sucked, and somehow turned himself back to a human form. I guess that lessens the Deus ex machina issue and is also very cool bc we love a villain who spends a thousand years bored and lonely in the desolate wasteland of their own creation until deciding the only way to fix this involves timefuckery and empowering the heroes to take you down before it can happen. There's something so "go sit in the corner until you've calmed down" about it. Also implies that Viktor had the ability to come back to himself even without Jayce, but not before it's too late. Always preventing each other from stepping off the ledge at the last moment, these guys.

Idk which theory I prefer, I think I'll have thoughts about this show until I die

#arcane spoilers #arcane season 2 #jayvik #arcane #arcane theory #this is how jayvik nation can still win-#i mean we very much won. that is very much a thing that happened. this is a W regardless #but a goblin can dream #mywords #arcaneposting

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angelwishess · 3 days ago

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Rambling about Floyra again because they genuinely make me ill

Kyra and Floyd’s relationship is honestly hard to describe. Not in the way that its confusing, but its so much deeper and complex than anything i write can convey ??

They’re both people who have never had the privledge of being able of being vulnerable, let alone infront others

They’re both people who have never been truly understood. Floyd being watered down to nothing but his mood swings, and Kyra her impulsiveness.

They’ve both never let many people get too close to them. People know them but they never understand.

They are the first and only people to ever and try to understand eachother. And they do, more than anyone else. If no one else can, who better than them? They understand eachother in a way much deeper than most realize.

Floyd never needed anyone. Kyra never needed anyone. Atleast not until they met eachother. Then, they realized just how much they needed the other. And they finally understood what it meant to love one person so much it hurt.

Kyra has mood swings, just as bad as Floyd. Its just shes grown to be able to hide it, but she has to fight back the urges to just get up and walk away from it all, the urges to get violent. Being a princess has trained her to always be “presentable”.

But then she meets Floyd, whos so unapologetically himself. And he shows all of the traits she has surpressed in herself for the longest time. And he does it without a care in the world.

And it makes her realize, its not a bad thing. Having emotions she cannot control does not make her a bad person.

While Kyra is still very emotionally constipated and struggles to understand her own emotions, somehow knowing Floyd helps her know herself, too.

And, Floyd makes her feel human.

Floyd has always been seen as some sort of “wild child”. Someone to be avoided. Labeled as uncontrollable and unpredictable, treated as something to fear.

But when he meets Kyra, hes treated gently for what feels like the first time. She treats him delicately, almost like glass. She calls him pretty, and looks at him with no fear, but with pure adoration. Genuine love. And he cant help but melt from it. She looked past the person many painted him as. And saw something beautiful.

For once he isnt being treated for some kind of unpredictable beast. And for once, Kyra isn’t being treated like someone who needs to be perfect all of the time.

Two people who have never been vulnerable, find themselves being fully vulnerable to eachother. Their flaws and ugly parts all bare and on display for the other to see. So clearly exposed, for the very first time.

And yet, even after all of the flaws and imperfections, they still love eachother so purely and so genuinely. Even without having to hide their issues or hold themselves back— they could be themselves, together. Unapologetically together. They looked past the surface, past all of the grime and cracks and found something beautiful only they could truly understand.

The purest form of love, and it cannot be described as only love.

They are not just lovers, but something much deeper and much more worse. They are something that can only be described as even more than platonic or romantic. Soulmates, twin flames, eachother’s other half— whatever you want to call them. They are everything and more, somehow and in some way.

They are complex, and their bond runs deeper than any bond theyve ever had before. Not many realize it, but they dont need anyone else to realize it. They know eachother and they understand eachother and thats all they need.

At the end of the day when theyre overwhelmed and tired, they know they can find home and comfort in eachother. In eachother, they found a new freedom to be vulnerable. Within eachother they found peace. A bestfriend, a lover, a favorite person, partners in crime and in life, and something even more.

Their love was slow, patient. It developed over time and only grew deeper. A sudden realization of the obvious truth. They realized, that they’ve already given their hearts to eachother. Kyra was already his, and Floyd was already hers long before they even knew it.

To be so in love that it was so natural, basically second nature to simply just give yourself away to the other. It was ridiculous but it was their truth. Before they knew it they became irreplacable parts of their lives.

“Til’ death do we part” is a lie. Because they’ll find eachother even after that. In every universe, in every world. One way or another. They were already worlds apart, seperated from eachother in this reality; and yet still they managed to find eachother even so.

Their love is pure, unapologetic. Raging, uncontainable and raw. It shines brightly, burns bigger than any fire. It is so deeply instilled in their very beings that it was hard to believe one could love another so much. They never even thought they were capable of such a thing.

But then again, they always did have a way to bring out every part of eachother, sides of themselves they never even realized they had.

I could ramble about them even more but i’ll stop myself for now … HEHEHE

Theres something about someone who’s watered down to something unpredictable and wild, seen as an uncontrollable whirlwind of emotions that is incapable or caring for anyone but themself— melt in gentle hands. Someone who is seen as “scary” go soft and letting themselves be vulnerable in someone else’s arms … its my favorite trope and u can NEVERR tear it away from me 🔥🔥

(When I said “flings” i meant when people for some reason make him some sort of flirty play boy ?? I am not kidding the amount of things ive seen of that 😭)

A special thank you to @screamintoad for letting me yap about them 🫶🫶 ily man HEHEHE 💗

#🎀🦈! floyra #🎀! yap #‘casual relationship’? not in my dictionary #its either gutwrenching lifechanging deep complex romances or NOTHING.#NO ROOM FOR CASUALTY HERE. LET ME BE DELUSIONAL.#they make me VIOLENTLY ILLL LOOORRDDD #why do i do this to myself *continues to think about them more*#genuinely the happiest and healthiest relationship ever im afraid #twst #twisted wonderland #twst oc #twst wonderland #disney twst #yuusona #oc x canon

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maxdibert · 8 hours ago

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And that is precisely the worst reason, because just as they could choose to exercise violence, they could also choose not to, but they opted for the first choice. We can’t forget the reason behind that power: their power came from the lack of consequences for their actions and the certainty that there would be no serious repercussions. James and Sirius knew they could attack Severus because he was someone without a family name, blood status, or financial resources. No one was going to defend him, no one cared about him, he wasn’t important among his peers, and he didn’t have present parents. He had no money, no influence—he was a nobody.

And they weren’t nobodies. They had all of that. James knew his parents would do anything for him, and while Sirius came from a bad household, Walburga would never have allowed her son to be humiliated—even if only to flaunt the power of the Black family and preserve their image. They had a safety net; Severus didn’t. So they could do whatever they wanted to him. If that hadn’t been the case, they would’ve picked on Mulciber or Rosier or any other Slytherin. But they didn’t—because they couldn’t. Those kids came from good families with resources, and their actions would’ve had consequences. So James and Sirius weren’t interested. Sure, they might’ve played a prank on them once or insulted them, but there was no prolonged bullying, no targeted abuse, because if they’d done that, they’d have gotten into trouble. With Severus, they had free rein—and that’s the most sinister part of it all: they went after him because he was defenseless.

They could have chosen not to do it. They could’ve been like many other popular boys and girls with social influence who don’t go out of their way to torment others. They could’ve chosen not to be violent, but they didn’t want to. I was part of a popular group in my school, and there were kids with a lot of money whose parents were important people, and they didn’t go around tormenting anyone. People can choose not to be terrible human beings—especially people like James, who had no trauma or underlying reasons to explain his behavior beyond being a violent, narcissistic jerk.

James was raised in a loving, progressive family, surrounded by care and privilege. His duty was to choose not to be violent, yet he decided to become a despicable, classist bully. Even Sirius has a backstory that makes his sociopathic tendencies somewhat understandable, but James? He’s just a fragile, egotistical jerk who couldn’t stand someone else getting close to the girl he liked, and because that someone turned out to be an easy target, he chose to torture him—even after he “got” the girl. Honestly, I find him a despicable character in every sense.

I also completely agree with everything you said. When people talk about Severus being resentful and violent, they tend to equate him with James and this supposed “change” James underwent that we never see or have any evidence of. But people often forget what I said earlier: James had no reason to be a jerk. His whole life was easy. He was filthy rich, adored by his parents, and after finishing school, he no longer ran into Severus in the halls, so he had no one to torment.

Meanwhile, Severus faced violence at home and at school. He endured teachers (the people responsible for his well-being) ignoring the bullying he suffered, even telling him to stay quiet when he was almost killed. He lived in a house full of supremacists as a half-blood, constantly having to prove he deserved to be there despite his status. He had no financial safety net to fall back on if things went wrong. He was groomed by members of a cult. He was groomed, emotionally manipulated, and had his insecurities and traumas exploited by Dumbledore. Very few people could have endured Severus’s life without ending up taking their own life.

People completely disregard his context. Sure, he had a horrible personality, but his life was horrible too. It’s not like he had many other options.

“I was bullied in school and didn’t turn out like Snape.”

Well, that argument works both ways. I was never bullied in school—in fact, I’d say I was part of a group of people considered “cool,” and not once in our lives did we go around picking on others, either verbally or physically. Nor were we going around drawing attention to ourselves with jokes that only appealed to the intellectually challenged. So, I don’t know, this whole “kids will be kids” thing doesn’t sit right with me because I was in that position, and I was never that childish. Neither were my friends. If we’re going to personalize the argument without considering the characters’ context, then let’s all do it, right?

The ironic part is that the same people who endlessly excuse the Marauders are exactly the kind of people the Marauders would have bullied relentlessly, and the fact that they genuinely don’t see it is… I don’t know whether to find it sad, pathetic, or both.

#severus snape #anti james potter #they would be your bullies too #and you’re defending them #pro snape #is like those people defending their bosses #pro severus snape #severus snape defense #severus snape fandom

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pruneunfair · 3 days ago

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"If evil why hot?" What makes this argument truly stupid (Tw: mention of SA)

Im not against terrible fictional characters being simped for. I know I use the term "fan girl" a lot when it comes to problematic characters but allow me to specify.

I consider being attracted to a problematic character in any piece of media to be a guilty pleasure and we can't help if we feel attracted to them, that's just what your mind says is hot if the character in question happens to be your type but here's the difference between this and being a full blown defender: if you are aware that the character is a terrible human being or even hate that your attracted to them then that's fine, you aren't actively defending their actions, they just happen to meet your tastes whenever that be physical or mental.

So what makes the "if evil why hot" arguement bad if simping for bad people in general isn't wrong? Well you probably already guessed it but it's DEFENDING the characters actions. For example there's a lot of Matthias defenders in the cry or better yet beg fandom who not only drool over Matthias for being a hot possessive freak but they also believe that Laylas assault wasn't actually assault because she loved him in the end or that his behavior is excusable because he "made up" for it. Some even go as far as to drag Layla because she's not immediately reciprocating.

The same goes to Leon Winston from try begging who while having less fans then Matthias, he is still romantized for being obsessed (which isn't even a good personality trait) Ergi from remarried empress is a manipulative POS but there are many people who claim it's okay because it's against the villainess, never mind the fact that he later gets with Evalie who is 16 by the way and finally the entirety of Jinx in general (not even sure myself on HOW or WHY anyone can read that and think it's a good piece of literature just because it's BL)

In short: finding problematic characters attractive is okay, but defending their behavior because they have a sad past is frankly not just idiotic but honestly disgusting if you think grape is totally fine just because the grapist is hot.

Loyalty ≠ a good partner right off the bat.

#cry or better yet beg #try begging #solche #manhwa #tapas #webtoon #tw: sa mention #the remarried empress

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constantcrying · 5 hours ago

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Ersatz, baby

m!shape-shifter!yandere x gn!reader. 4k words. yes. I'm so sorry.

TW: Obsession, possessive thoughts and behaviors, mentions of violence, gore, consumption of humans, idk how to tag it but the shape-shifter eats humans and has considered eating the reader so like heads up about that

Heeeeey

Somebody PLEASE tell me if the length of this piece is detrimental to the experience of reading it it’s like 4k words. Here’s something I’ve been kicking around for ages. Frankly I am shocked I have something at all after a year

“Odd couple” is the best way to describe the friendship between you and Sasha. You’re awkward and responsible and outwardly boring. He’s highly social, wild, and intriguing. You’re genuine to a fault. He’s an expert in facades; he is a facade. You’re human and he’s something utterly not.

The freak accident of affection between you two is...still hard for him to wrap his head around. It seems to be your fault. If you weren’t so pitifully earnest toward him he would have just gotten rid of you. You were aware of his true nature, and definitely scared of it, but you kept going out of your way to be the Good Roommate™, to play friends. He had to let you live, just to see what the fuck your deal is. Now it’s too late. Now he wants you around.

You are the only person in the world that he has shown his real body to.

Some of his victims have seen it, but you’re the first person he intended to see it. The decision was quiet, perhaps a little impulsive. A simple exchange of “What are you, Sasha?” and “I don’t know. Wanna see?” had you both going to your bedroom and locking the door.

For the first time in his life, his heart pounded as he shed his clothes. He almost didn’t want you to turn around and look. It might be better if you only knew the carefully curated version of him, the handsome appearance he painstakingly crafted for the easiest social life. Even though you already knew he wasn’t human and pretended it didn’t matter, what if you saw him now and knew with absolute certainty that you didn’t want to look at him ever again? He would have to swallow you whole. He wasn’t sure if he could do it.

Regardless he said, “turn around.”

He showed you the unvarnished form that he had inherited from his mother. To be frank: It’s a predator’s body. Worse that that, it’s a monster’s. There are features and junctures of him so uncanny it must hurt the logical mind to observe them. If you were ever looking for the perfect rebuttal to the existence of a loving God, look no further than his cruel mouth.

He crept onto you bed looking like this, towering over you, your bed-frame screaming to protest the weight. He’d have to cut you off at the source, if you were to scream. And though he could smell the fear wafting from your skin, could practically feel the constricting blood vessels and tightening muscles in you, you still asked him, “Hey, is it more comfortable? Do you prefer being like this?”

Honestly? He isn’t sure there’s a body that’s comfortable and natural to him anymore. He’s so used to a human state that anything else feels awkward, even when it’s easier to shift to. As you took his massive claws into your hands and examined them with gentle curiosity, though, he was struck by the warmth of you. It was a long time since anyone had really touched him. It might’ve been even longer for you, loner that you are. Which meant you were the only person who could understand the way he felt in that moment.

He flopped over next to you, letting out an embarrassing dog-like whine, but you just laughed sweetly, and shifted pillows around to accommodate his bigger size. His feet and tail still dangled awkwardly off the bed. “You can relax in here,” you said. “You’re always welcome, since you’re my friend.”

You rambled about your classes and professors until all the adrenaline had left your system. He didn’t say much in response, but you didn’t mind. After a while, you could almost meet his preternatural gaze. You even dozed off like this, with a monster beside you, you utter weirdo. He put his head closer to your chest and felt your sleeping breaths for hours, thinking that your throat would be butter-soft under his teeth.

Sasha knows very little about what he really wants. He’s not sure if he’ll stay in his major, or in school, or even in human society. He knows for certain, though, that he wants more time to study you. He wants just your quiet voice and humble body heat and the understanding that, whatever he is, it isn’t going to chase you away.

So you two keep doing this. Every few days he’ll skulk over to where you are and make room for himself, and the two of you will talk for hours. Sometimes he shifts. He doesn’t always want to, but you get more comfortable with him that way. You...seem more keen to pet him when he looks and acts like an animal, and he wants you to touch him so bad he’s worried he’ll start asking for it. Could he ever live it down, if he started asking to be coddled? No. So he wags his tail and butts his head against you like that isn’t it’s own special brand of pathetic.

It’s not like you’re one to judge, though. You’re just so happy to have a friend that comes to hang out with you. You’ve never had very many of those, but of course Sasha knows he’s extra special. There’s much he’s learned about the world from his strange perspective, and you’re always excited to listen to his stories.

You do understand that he needs to eat a lot. You see him clear out four bacon cheeseburgers as a snack once, and he cracks jokes about how breakfast was red bull and adderall, but you know that it’s just a part of his biology that works against him. So you go out of your way to cook more meat, and give him bigger portions than anyone else, ignoring the way your blatant favoritism must look to the other roommates and occasional visitors. He doesn’t bother explaining that your idea of a big meal is like his idea of an appetizer, and he never will.

He doesn’t talk about the people he eats, either. He’s starting to think you don’t realize he does that.

(If you really don’t know, if this is the way you treat him when you don’t know, there’s no fucking way he can tell you.)

As for you, you talk about your courses and your classmates. From the way you talk around it, he’s mostly figured out the sad shape of your childhood and he decides that’s why you’re so weird and naive.

Mostly, you tell him about your hobbies, and your taste in TV shows. That’s when something in you is unlocked, revealing you to be more witty and giggly than your initial impression. It’s gratifying to know most other people don’t discover that side of you, like being the only prospector who knows where gold is. You tell him about everything you used to watch and play with your best friend, back when she had time for you. He’s a little confused by just how fervently you love things, how you start to care one day and then never, ever stop.

He never did it before, but now the two of you watch garbage TV together. (You tried to invite your best friend to join you, but to Sasha’s satisfaction, she gave you that cringing sort of smile and told you she didn’t have time.) Every Friday comes a new episode of Crater County, this schlocky supernatural police procedural, so every Thursday night you ask him to watch it with you. He’s a busy man, of course, but he’ll fit it into his schedule since he knows you so look forward to it.

This Thursday you must have forgot.

Somehow, in the early morning on Friday, you slip away without Sasha noticing. He wakes up to the honks of geese and distant cars, and the ever-present hum of electricity. As he thinks of pestering you to make ham and eggs, just to watch you get annoyed, he notices the conspicuous lack of your heartbeat.

He knows better than to doubt his hearing. But he still goes into your room across the hall to find the bed unmade and unoccupied. He almost goes to check your pillow for warmth, only stopping when he realizes it’s...stupid, to do that. He stays in the doorway for a long moment, overly-conscious of your scent. Then he goes to pace in the empty kitchen.

It hadn’t occurred to you to say goodbye to him, or leave him a portion of breakfast as you usually do, so you must have been in a hurry. Distantly, he remembers your fast food job. You probably got called to cover for someone at the last minute. Even so, shouldn’t you have said something to him? So that he wouldn’t wonder? Because he’s—

—well, you called him your friend.

It bothers him the more he thinks about it, while he showers and gets coffee and goes to class. The two of you haven’t talked since Monday and it feels weird. You always tell him when you’re going out, so what happened? Where can he even find you?

Not that he would need to find you. Sasha isn’t clingy. Clingy is his ex making alt account after alt account to pester him on instagram with stupid questions like, “are you seriously trying to ghost me you asshole?” And Sasha isn’t doing that. He hasn’t even texted you yet, because you haven’t texted him, and you always text first. If you don’t go through with the trouble of asking for him, he absolutely will not bother coming.

You haven’t sent so much as a “hey!” in the last seventeen times that he’s checked, so. Guess you guys aren’t hanging out. Whatever. It’s not like he doesn’t have stuff to do. He’s behind on several classes, a habitual skipper, and there are four other people begging him to come out tonight. He hasn’t hunted in a while so he should probably do that too.

He should go and talk to other humans, re-acquire their speech patterns and body language. He should catch himself when he makes gestures you would make, stop himself from making them. That’s why he goes to lunch with a friend group he met last month, and fits in with them seamlessly—or, almost seamlessly. No one can say he isn’t a good talker, slick as oil and quick with comebacks, but he’s a little more sensitive than usual today. While he’s in the middle of charming them he slips up and says something you would say.

“Isn’t that a Crater County reference you just made?” One girl says to him, stopping the conversation cold. “I thought you hated nerdy stuff like that.”

Sasha laughs shortly. “What? Says who?”

“Says you. You laughed at someone’s Supernatural tattoo at the party, remember?”

“It was a fucking horrendous tattoo. And I don’t like Crater Country or whatever, either, I just know some lines because my,” his throat feels like a desert, but he continues, “my roommate is obsessed with that shit.”

They brush over that thought soon enough, shifting focus to upcoming concerts, but Sasha can’t get comfortable again. He feels like he forgot how eyes work, and his are going to slip and turn reptilian in the middle of this well-populated restaurant. He’s scared his hands are going to morph into paws. In the end, he excuses himself before he can finish his meal.

Since he’s still quite hungry, Sasha decides he’ll drop by the butcher and get a few pounds of beef chuck to tide him over until dark. He’ll go to that fancy shop with all the grass-fed cruelty-free organic stuff, because he’s passionate about the well-fare of livestock, and definitely not because it’s just down the street from your job.

But since he’s there, anyway, he’ll pass by and peek through the windows to see what’s happening there.

Your restaurant is packed. A sports team, or special event or something, has filled every table in sight, and more people queue up at the register. You’re boxing fries and passing them over to waiting customers’ trays. Even though you’ve got mountains of food to work through, you’re smiling. It takes only a few seconds to find out why, following the arc of your eye up to a man in the same uniform as you.

The guy is tall and average-looking, and he keeps leaning toward you to talk like he doesn’t know how to speak loudly even though he works in a goddamn kitchen. Sasha doesn’t know him by face, or by word of mouth, since you’ve never told him about a co-worker that can make you giggle so much.

Why hadn’t you told Sasha about the funniest man of the century, huh?

More importantly, why hadn’t you noticed the way this asshole was looking at you? Staring so intently, exaggerating his expressions, mirroring you. All the same tricks Sasha has used before but with none of the grace, and yet somehow you liked it from this guy when Sasha had seemed scary to you.

He just can’t understand. That wouldn’t be such a problem if he hadn’t believed that he did understand you, and the way your mind worked. You had said Sasha was your friend and you had sat in the truth with him, relieved to see him for what he truly was, and you had been asking after his health and his happiness, wasting nights with him, cooking for him, cuddling up with him, and now here you were forgetting about his existence with another friend that he didn’t know about.

Sasha has been cheated on by a partner in the past. They left him one night and came back in the wee hours smelling like a fresh shower, with traces of someone else’s odor still clinging to them. It hadn’t felt like anything, to know that they were sneaking behind his back. Not a betrayal, no sting or ache in the heart he supposedly had. He broke up with them a week after, and that, like all his other breakups, was simply annoying. Sasha had always felt like he wasn’t with any of the people he was with. He was watching them, and touching them, and living among them, but there was some kind of invisible barrier between him and all the world. So when they broke a connection, well, what was there to even break? How could he care?

And why did being cheated on come to mind when he saw you happy with some other guy?

Sasha would later find out that you pulled a twelve hour shift that day, and, pushover that you were, you didn’t take a break long enough to check your phone. But he doesn’t stay to watch you, he really couldn’t. A pit had formed in his stomach, some void, some black hole that he had to attend to.

He leaves you there in your job and your apparent fun, none the wiser, and goes to the butcher. He gets himself a rack of ribs, and a few pounds of steak, and a heart just because the shop had one on hand and they were happy to serve a customer with such deep pockets as him. He gets a couple of cheeseburgers for the ride home and finishes them in a few bites.

As soon as he knows your other roommates aren’t home, he tears into the paper packaging of the prepared meats and gorges himself over the kitchen sink, soiling his shirt with myoglobin. It all tastes like ash, disappearing into him the way so many things do. When he’s done, when every last shred of flesh and sliver of bone has been swallowed, his stomach growls.

He’s always been this empty. Maybe that was the thing you saw that made you so afraid upon first meeting him—the bottomless trench that he actually was.

You said he was your friend. You knew what he was and didn’t back away. But you have so little else in your life. If you gained anything more, real friends, real family, a lover, wouldn’t someone as hollow and alien as Sasha be easily discarded?

There’s nothing for it. He has to go and hunt now.

Your co-worker is pitifully easy to discover. By checking the likes on your posts, he finds the creep has been hounding you for three weeks now. His unmitigated social media addiction leaves the entirety of his existence splatter across the internet. Sasha learns and forgets his name. He knows exactly what place he’ll be at tonight, with whom, for how long. He shifts to look exactly like you, heads out and stops at the right street corner with a bulky gym bag, waiting.

It’s so easy. Sasha can play You, but this guy hardly deserves all that effort. It’s enough to show up magically with your face, even if your clothes and piercings seem out of place. All Sasha has to do is bat lashes and flash a smile that he has already memorized—your stupid sincere grin that had made you, like the sun, difficult to look at directly—and this idiot thinks the person in front of him is really you, out on the same night by coincidence. He’s happy to see you, and happier still that you want to go somewhere together. He lets Sasha take him by the hand, convinced that the two of you are going out for drinks through innocuously empty backstreets. It doesn’t strike him as weird that you’re so energetic and flirty all of a sudden. Asshole.

He at least has the decency to carry the bag, no doubt hoping to come off as a gentleman.

“Why a duffel bag, anyway?” He marvels.

“To change clothes before I go home, silly,” Sasha tells him, leading him further into the night.

It turns out the co-worker is deeply uncomfortable with silence. He cracks jokes that aren’t funny, to which Sasha politely chuckles for what is only ten minutes but feels like an hour.

“When you kept turning me down,” he says, predictably, “I was worried you had a boyfriend or something.”

“Why would I not tell you if I had a boyfriend?” Sasha croons in your voice, fighting with all his will-power to not crush your co-worker’s hand. They’re finally on a quiet street, between two condemned houses, where there are no cameras and no pedestrians.

“Haha, I don’t know. You’re like, really private. That roommate you talk about all the time? The one going to the same school? I honestly feel like I know more about her than I know about you.”

“You mean, ‘him’? Sasha?” Sasha blinks owlishly with your eyes, his heart melting a little when he imagines you gushing about him to other people.

The guy laughs nervously. “No, I mean Maya. Is Sasha another roommate? Have you mentioned her before?”

Really. Maya. That “best friend” who basically pretends you don’t exist, who takes up valuable real estate in your mind when some people who have spent months getting to know you don’t even get a text.

Sasha gives up on looking friendly.

Your co-worker has finally sensed something is off, wincing as he tugs his hand out of Sasha’s vice-grip. Stretching out his fingers, he asks, “Hey, how much farther ‘til we get there? I swear we’ve passed like, three bars already...”

He doesn’t get to say more because Sasha lets out his teeth and goes for the throat.

It must be said that a warm meal always beats a cold one, but other that that it’s a shitty fare, gristly and lacking in flavor. This guy’s blood, fresh from the veins, is flat and forgettable. Even the marrow of his bones disappoints. At least he didn’t put up a fight...though maybe some enrichment could have saved this boring dinner.

Sasha feels more bloated than full when it’s all over. He wipes down and changes into fresh clothes, stuffing all the bloody garments into the duffel bag. He still feels kinda gross, and considers a long, hot shower while picking muscle fibers from between his teeth.

Are you going to worry about your co-worker? Are you going to miss him? Will you cry if they identify his blood on clothes found in the dump? Will you even tell Sasha why you’re crying?

Sasha snaps out of his deep thoughts when his phone buzzes. The text from you reads:

hey! i forgot to ask, are you on for crater county tonight?

What the fuck. Renewed frustration flushes through his system. What is he, your backup plan? He has a life—actually, many more lives than you! You should know better than to screw around with his time. He shouldn’t even dignify your bullshit with a response, but he does anyway—

At a party

And your answer is,

oh ok

we’ll watch it some other time

have fun!

…

Stay safe ok! Call me if you need something

It’s such a low blow he has to wonder if you’re doing it on purpose: you’re telling him all the same things he’s heard you tell Maya when she blows you off. He can hear the disappointment and embarrassment in your voice, the way you assure her of your eternal affection and concern while she practically dismisses you. Once he’s imagining your face, then, all he wants in the world is to look at it.

He’s a good runner. He’s barely out of breath when he arrives home, tossing aside his sweaty hoodie and kicking off his shoes while he quietly closes the door behind him. The dishwasher is running. He can just make out the low moan of the central air system, and one lazy heart thumping in the living room.

For a moment you don’t notice that Sasha is there. He gets to watch you quietly. You’re languishing on the couch in your bedclothes, staring blankly at the No Signal screen on the TV with a bowl of popcorn untouched on the coffee table. It surprises him. He hasn’t seen you with an expression this dull in a while.

But it disappears in an instant.

“Sasha!” You bolt upright, your face brightening like the sky at dawn when you find him standing in the doorway. “Did the party end already?”

He doesn’t know what to say.

You glance back at the TV. “Um, I swear I wasn’t going to watch without you! I was just…”

“Were you waiting for me?” He asks.

Your expression flickers, betraying the anxiety in your eyes before you have the chance to look away. Why did he even bother to ask? You’re here for him, like a puppy waiting for their owner, and suddenly he’s flushed and queasy—no, it’s not sickness that he feels, it’s butterflies. He’s so delighted he feels dumb, all of his frustration and embarrassing angst vanishing in an instant because all he can think of is how sweet you are.

“Ah,” he laughs dryly. “I’m screwed.”

Before you even know to cry out, he’s thrown himself at you, arms coiling around your waist. The two of you fall back on the couch.

When you get your bearings, you scold him. “Sasha, don’t just do that! You scared me!”

He mumbles, “I had a bad day.”

“...you did?” Your left hand cups his head, almost protectively, and your right strokes his back. “What happened? You’re not hurt, right? Are you hungry? I have some stuff in the fridge—”

“Can we just stay like this?” He asks.

“U-um. Well...” You must be thinking of your other roommates, who could walk in on this scene and “misunderstand” the relationship you have with him. You don’t want to cause weird rumors or tension. But he wants you so much he can’t pretend to be above it anymore. He squeezes you just a little bit, betraying his own desperation, so you say tenderly, “Of course we can.”

It’s scary to be honest. Sasha considers it contrary to his nature. However, he has never in his life avoided adapting or transforming to get what he wants. If he has to bare himself again to endear himself to you, he’ll do it.

“You’re the best friend I have,” he admits, “and I didn’t see you all day, and I missed you.”

Your heart quickens. “Sasha…”

“I know I’m being clingy. I just can’t help it. Say you missed me too. Say I matter to you.”

“I did miss you,” you murmur, your smile bleeding into your voice. You pull him closer. “It feels wrong when we don’t talk all day. And I worry about you, you know. I never see you make a proper meal.”

“I like it better when you make it. So keep cooking for me. Please.”

“I was going to do that anyway,” you say.

His whole body thrums with satisfaction. You care about him so much he can feel it all the way through. He’s soaking up your warmth and savoring your smell, face pressed into your neck. Twisting his hands into your shirt, he finds that he resents your clothes. He even resents your flesh and bones for barring direct access to your heart. Right now, though, he’s almost content with a body in his grasp, a pulse fluttering under his lips.

God help him, he’s been starving for this.

#yandere x reader #male yandere x gn reader #monster yandere #yandere shapeshifter #yandere oc

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balladeerssong · 17 hours ago

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| SYNOPSIS | genshin men as cliche love tropes.

| INCLUDING | Albedo, Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Zhongli

| WARNINGS | modern/university au!, Kaeya's and Zhongli's are suggestive, age gap in Zhongli's, mentions of blood and obsession in Albedo's, mentions of death in Diluc's.

𝐀𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐨 - ᵛᵃᵐᵖⁱʳᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵘᵐᵃⁿ ˡᵒᵛᵉ.

ꕤ Albedo is quiet, reserved, typically someone you'd call a 'loner' in uni. he's super distant with everyone and seems to be repulsed by any form of interaction. mood, honestly.

ꕤ it was all until you came along of course. your blood smells divine, your thoughts are unreadable, everything about you seems so.. different. but not the kind of different he is.

ꕤ Albedo loathes the monster he truly is, which is why he's scared to approach you at first. he yearns for, craves an answer to why you stand out from everyone else; but for that, he has to push his thirst for your blood down his throat - which is way more difficult than it seemed at first.

ꕤ however, first and foremost, he doesn't want to scare his dinner you away! how could he seek answers if you were terrified of him? so, he starts showing up at places you usually go to. it doesn't feel like someone is watching you all the time at all...

ꕤ oh, this parasocial relationship he was in with you looked way creepier from 3rd person view. his behaviour is straight up concerning to others, and if someone didn't think he was weird before, now they do.

ꕤ when he finally manages to speak to you in chemistry class, his world turns upside down. your voice, your scent, the light in your eyes, the warmth of your body - each and every part of you just draws him in, chaining him to you in a way he never could have imagined in the past.

ꕤ the more time you spend with him, the less tense he gets around you, which leads to a big change in his behaviour. he eventually reveals his big secret with a lump in his throat, and - to his surprise - you take it well and accept him for who he is.

ꕤ naturally, he's very protective. not just out of jealousy, but because he understands how fragile humans are compared to him. expect him to be right behind you wherever you go (even if you complain about him scaring your friends away).

𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜 - ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳ��ᵉⁿᵈˢ.

᯽ your families were always extremely close, which is why you basically spent your entire childhoods together. your parents always joked about how you'll eventually end up marrying each other when you grow up.

᯽ even after Crepus' unfortunate passing, you two stay inseparable. Diluc changed a lot after that, but you understand and accept him the way he is; which is something he's eternally grateful for.

᯽ from day 1 of university, it's obvious for everyone that seeing either of you without the other is near impossible. and before you think there would be a bunch of rumours about you two dating, you're wrong. to others it's common knowledge that you're a couple.

᯽ it's not like you act like you are! but you look nothing alike, so that closes out the possibility of you being siblings and... what else could you be, really?

᯽ Diluc hears about this before you do. it makes him reflect on his feelings - maybe he does feel more than just friendship. you've been a part of his life since birth, after all. at first he tries to brush it off, convincing himself that it's simply familial love he feels for you. yet he can't help but look at you in a slightly different way after that, he becomes a lot more attentive to everything you say and do (he already was, but now even more so!).

᯽ after exploring his emotions in depth, his confession would be brief and confident in the comfort of his apartment. it catches you by surprise, but it also makes you extremely happy - for the past years you thought you were the loser for falling for your best friend!

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 - ᵖᵒᵖᵘˡᵃʳ ˣ ˡᵒⁿᵉʳ.

✦ 'name someone on campus who doesn't have a crush on Childe' challenge, go! while it does seem impossible, there's one person that could not care less about the redhead - it's you of course.

✦ and when they say the seating plans can't be that horrible, he ends up getting seated next to the only person who doesn't bother to even look at him. how humiliating! well, it's even worse for you - since you're somewhat an enigma to him, he'll bother you all the damn time.

✦ the worst part is that he thinks he's doing you a favour by talking to you, since you don't have friends and all. he even offers to sit with you at lunch as a joke, which you immediately refuse. how can he even enjoy his meal with all these people trying to get his attention all the time?

✦ you don't humour him at all and it infuriates him. it lights something up inside of him that he can't quite place - he has the attention of the entire campus, yet he'd much rather try to get yours instead. you're hard to get and he loves it.

✦ luck shines upon him when you're assigned to work on a project with your seatmate. the deadline is in a month, so you know what that means! he has 30 days to win you over.

✦ he does everything, and i mean everything. he invites you over to 'work on the project' often, and since you do want to get this over with quickly, you can't possibly refuse. you notice him getting closer and closer in your personal space on each occasion, pushing his knee against yours, letting your hands touch, resting his head on your shoulder. all of this leading up to the faithful moment where he has his nose against yours, pulling you into the kiss he's been waiting for all this time.

✦ you have to admit that his charms did work on you after all. and he has to admit he prefers being with just you, far from the crowd he used to be in the center of.

𝐊𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐚 - ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ'ˢ ᵉˣ.

✶ his biggest mistake ever was choosing your friend over you when fate offered him two hotties at the senior party. he was drunk, okay? she seemed slightly more interested and willing to do nasty things with him, so... he went with the easier road.

✶ well, he missed out BIG time. i'm not saying that your bestie is a bad person, no! but whenever you met up with him because your best friend wanted to spend time with the both of you at the same time, it became more and more obvious that he's much more compatible with you. he'd never show that of course.

✶ your friend was devastated on the night of their breakup, calling you at ungodly hours just to cry on the phone to you. how sad. Kaeya didn't seem like a bad guy, you could only wonder what happened between them. funny thing is, your best friend did too. he didn't give her an actual reason for the breakup. he could never tell her that he was head over heels for her best friend.

✶ he waits for a while. pouncing on you right after breaking up with your friend would be way too unethical and definitely suspicious. he still has your number though, and he knows that one place you usually get lunch from. he'll make a detailed, steadfast plan to get closer with you again - after all, you two haven't spoken since the day of the breakup.

✶ he gradually starts with small gestures here and there. liking your posts (which he didn't do while he was in a relationship), saying hello when you walk past him in the hallway, sitting next to you in class when your bestie is absent. soon, he starts sending you tiktoks he thinks you might enjoy, starting small talk when he catches you alone, paying for your lunch when he gets the chance. he's more obvious than he intended to be, but he's impatient. and you catch on.

✶ you didn't expect to be at his place one night, letting him see what he missed on his first opportunity, feeling so good but so guilty at the same time, knowing that your friend's heart would break for the second time if she found out.

✶ so, you start dating in secret. he's awfully good at keeping a facade up. you only meet up at each other's place, anywhere in the city or on campus would be too risky. the walls have ears and eyes in university after all.

𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢 - ᵖʳᵒᶠᵉˢˢᵒʳ'ˢ ˢᵉᶜʳᵉᵗ ᶠᵃᵛᵒᵘʳⁱᵗᵉ.

𑁍 Mr. Zhongli has to be one of your favourite professors - you could very easily tell how much passion he has for the subjects he teaches, it was so motivating! i lied. he's just mad hot.

𑁍 his hair tied back, his dark brown suit that looks like it was made just for him, the way his long, slender fingers held his pen... absolutely divine.

𑁍 of course, the best way to get a teacher's attention is to either excel or underperform in their class and, well, the latter is way easier. he notices your lack of efforts when it comes to his subjects. intentional or not, it still needs to be talked about, so the day after your test, he asks you to stay behind for a minute (mission success).

𑁍 he talks about how poorly your essay is written, how you should pay attention to both the structure and the factuality of your work. you obviously couldn't care less about that, being lost in the gold irises behind his glasses. he notices this and simply sighs.

𑁍 never in his many years of teaching has a student try to get his attention this way, and he'd be ashamed to admit that it was working perfectly. your skirt being a bit too short during your one-on-one tutoring lessons, the buttons on your shirt that always seem to get loose, that look in your eyes when he's asking you to focus. he catches on. and he loves it.

𑁍 Zhongli knows you're doing this on purpose, yet he doesn't cancel your tutorings. he also wants this, no matter how unacceptable it is from either of you. which is why you're sat on his lap, learning about the correct way to build an essay up, slightly shifting your position every now and then. he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses before grabbing your chin and turning your head back to the paper in front of you.

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ozfi · 3 days ago

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anyway, my hot kenzaki take is that a lot of people misunderstand him pretty fundamentally, and its all in the specification of him "sacrificing everything for his friends". cuz .. i mean. he doesnt.

so kenzakis story starts age 10, when his parents die in the house fire. regardless of ""realism"" or the immediate kneejerk reaction people have of "you were 10", kenzaki takes the fact he could not personally protect the people he loves hard, and then is isolated for the next decade. inshow, he says koutaro is his first friend. not his newest, not his most recent, not his first in a long time. koutaro is his FIRST FRIEND. tachibana is his senpai and he made no friends at board. hirose doesnt become his friend until after koutaro does. tsubaki himself confirms in the final episode interview that "Kenzaki was in a situation where he had no friends, lost his parents, and was all alone." no matter where he went after he lost his parents, he was alone.

its not to say kenzaki doesnt care about people, or humanity, or whatever, even as a chronic loner. because he clearly does! he loves people. he chose protecting people as a job because he didnt ever want to feel powerless again, he wanted to help others, he doesnt want people to die. these are all noble reasons, but its evident there is a hierarchy in his heart and it becomes clear when he gets attached to hajime! kenzakis biggest problems are about Protecting The Ones He Loves, specifically. HIS people. his parents were what started it all, and he didnt get attached to anything to that significant of a degree again until he fell in love with hajime. and. i mean its obvious

i cannot stress enough that the moment kenzaki decided he believed in hajime he stopped listening to literally anyone elses advice about their situation. his senpai tachibana expressing concern about a real danger? hes not only fine, but if anything happens, i am the one who will handle it. koutaro not trusting hajime around his family because of the chance he Killed Haruka's Husband? but i believe in him, there must be a reason. mutsuki being concerned? well hes mutsuki. sorry mukki. anyone else? no, its fine, i trust him.

Kenzaki believed in the possibility of a sliver of a sliver of a chance, and he risked everything and everyone else he ever knew and loved for it. Kenzaki let the darkroaches rage on Japan for WAY TOO LONG just because of his belief in a miracle for one single person. Tachibana was injured, Mutsuki was in the hospital, and literally every single other one of his acquaintances was in mortal peril. It would have killed all of them if he did nothing, but instead of the single most logical action, and the only path to the end anyone else could see, Kenzaki gave up his humanity to keep Hajime alive!

Above the world, Kenzaki will choose the one he loves.

this is part of how kenzaki and hajime are mirrors - hajime never had the opportunity to make friends, because he was bugmode/not really a "person" up until a little while ago (and even then, the human undead had a friend?), but kenzaki just never made them. hajime attracts people like... darkroaches, from amane to haruka to jin to kenzaki onwards, and kenzaki stumbled into his housing situation and kotaro and was otherwise alone. hajime loves deeply and protectively, instinctively, selflessly, even if he didnt understand what the feeling was, and kenzaki was so isolated from other people that despite being human all of his emotions seem "weird", the way he interacts with the other humans at first is "weird", etc. kenzaki likes People, but individuals have always been beyond him. hajime doesnt like people, but he loves Persons. hajime is willing to give up his life for the world, and kenzaki is willing to give up the world for hajime (and when it crosses the edge, he is willing to give up himself... for hajime.)

-functionally, kenzaki is set up as less ""human"" than hajime in quite a few ways.

(i am honestly inclined to think at times it is not just that kenzaki saw that hajime was capable of love that made him believe in him, but saw that hajime was capable of love in a way kenzaki wasnt, a way that seemed more noble, natural, and human.)

and this is obviously controversial because on the surface kenzaki is very kind! kenzaki does obviously care about humanity as a whole and people as people. but that doesnt mean hes not selfishly selfless. that doesnt mean he doesnt have his own priorities. that doesnt mean hes perfect, or that hes a typical hero type, when in all ways he is extremely Weird right from the beginning. hes tall and gangly and a bit awkward and kind of moody and sort of unsociable and a huge sweetheart yardstick.

#.txt #kamen rider blade spoilers #my fucking onglydoople #a

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mushyposts · 3 days ago

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TUMBLR PLEAAASE LET ME POST THIS NOW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

OF COURSE!!! This is the sort of analysis I could honestly talk about for hours, and if you have ANY more thoughts on my fic, please please PLEASE dont be scared to message me and hash it out!! I absolutely love the chance to think critically and analytically about my work.

You are absolutely not projecting, and even if you were, that would be entirely valid!! Creativity exists as a vessel for us as humans to feel, and if my writing at all helps you process any feelings you have around the themes I explore in it then I think i have more then succeeded in my task as a writer! : D

I also think that as a writer, I can put as much intent as I physically can into my writing. I can spend hours working to make sure a certain theme is perceived the specific way I want it to be, but if someone takes it a different way then I cant change that! I can take it as it is, and from there move and try to approach the theme in a different way, but people all have different live experiences that will make them see what i write differently. My experiences with parental figures, their presence, lack of, and their affection towards me will always be different to yours for example, and that means you will see how I write the parental dynamics in my writing different to how I do! Does that make sense?

Okay onto the actual analysis LMAO!! I think that people get caught up in this idea of "The choice was made for the greater good, so he should be absolved." and although yes, there is merit to understanding Hakoda didn't want to leave and was doing what he thought was the best choice for his kids and the future of his tribe its also SUPER important to understand that there were other ways.

A few things when considering the argument of Hakoda taking ALL the men, is firstly that we don't actually know how many people were in the "fleet" and there is some defence to the idea of them needing every working hand they can get, however I also think that alongside this argument is if Hakoda was doing this to protect his tribe it would have made sense to at LEAST leave enough men to defend them, or train Sokka and the other younger boys to have some form of defence.

I think the closest we get at seeing how many are in the fleet is pre-black sun, when they all meet up, and even then those numbers are skewed because of the involvement of other groups of people. EG: The swamp benders, the earthbenders and then the people who took residence at the northern airtemple. I do, however, personally believe that there should have been some men left behind to defend.

Another thing to consider is the canon timeline for when Kya dies and then when Hakoda leaves and then to canon actually is kind of inconsistent? We can assume Hakoda left around when Sokka was 13, but during the flashback of Kya's death along with the flashbacks in Bato of the water tribe where we see Hakoda leave, Sokka actually looks a lot younger. As far as I'm aware, as a show only watcher who doesnt actively intend on reading the comics, we dont really know how long the time between Kyas death and Hakoda leaving is. I even say at the start of my fic that I fucked with the canon timeline a bit to make it line up a bit better.

I think the show acknowledges Hakoda's abandonment and the complex ways thats hurt both Sokka and Katara in subtle ways. Katara very outwardly displaying her upset, albeit initially passive aggressively, she does eventually burst out, telling him "we needed you." and Hakoda apologises. Sokka is more internal, he obsesses over his ability to explain his plans, how he's perceived by his peers, an obsession with masculinity and what it means to be a man when you were never truly taught it in the first place.

I also think something that people tend to get mixed up with when it comes to critiquing Hakoda as a father, is they often equate being a bad dad, to being an abuser.

Hakoda, at least in my interpretations and I never intend for him to come off as so, isnt an abusive father. He is not a perfect father, he has made many choices that led to the long lasting hurt of his children. Speaking in the development of my own fic and how i've worked with Hakoda's character, he is an absent figure who was faced with an impossible choice and should have thought through it in more depth. He made a choice, and although its hard to fully say without a doubt he chose wrong, it had severely negative ramifications on the mental well being of his children.

Theres a lot to be said on the nuance of abuse, neglect, absent parental figures, especially fathers, and I don't want to speak TOO heavily on this because again, its such a nuanced and complex topic that I think I couldn't even begin to unwrap in tumblr reblogs. Theres some incredible fics out there exploring this with Hakoda and Sokka's dynamic, and I even have a one shot in the making all about this stuff in the canon universe seperate from my writing, but I just REALLY want to emphasise that I am so aware of how Zuko will come off to Sokka as a replacement.

I think in Zukka fics, or any fic with their dynamic, Sokka is often used as a tool for Zuko's healing, and his own trauma and negative experiences are put on the backburner in turn for Zuko's more outwardly present trauma. This is never something I want to do in my writing, I want to give a stage to each characters trauma, experiences and lives and try to show that things arent always as clean cut as they seem.

Hakoda abandoned Sokka and Katara. he left Sokka to be a man, without truly giving him the tools to do so.

Hakoda saved Zuko from death, and gave him a chance at life again.

These are two things that can exist at once, and the existence of one does not negate the other. People are a mess of good, bad, neutral, and its so hard to untangle it. Sometimes it doesnt even need to be untangled, sometimes you just need to hold the mess that people are and know it isnt a slight on you. You didnt cause the tangle, some tangles just are, yknow??

I also do personally believe in canon there are a lot of gaps that dont fully make sense in reference to Hakoda's character, and I think he honestly could have been executed a lot better in canon, so thats also something I like to consider whenever I am thinking too hard abt Hakodas character!!

I hope this made ANY sense at all. I usually have to sift through my writing like, a hundred times to get any kind of sense out of it, but truly this has been such a pleasure to write about!! : D Ur thoughts are so well written, and its incredible, as i said before, to see people picking up on the more nuanced things I'm trying to set up for future chapters!! it helps keep my steam for writing this honestly WAY bigger fic then I intended going!! : D I am MORE then happy to indulge!!!! If anything, this is indulging for ME! So thank YOU!!!

(Also, to answer ur tags, it isnt bad ur a bit mad at Hakoda!! He's flawed, thats okay! He's made mistakes just like anyone does. His just have more ramifications since he's the adult. I am a HUGE Hakoda stan and I do love him, but trying to work around canon and make him be a good father... A bit tricky!!)

I already put this on ao3 in a comment but you made me cry so you have to see it twice now. I know this entire story is Zuko-centric but I literally can't stop thinking about what this au means for Sokka.

Ok I just have to say I felt so heartbroken for Sokka here. All I could think about was how all of a sudden there's a boy in the place he's supposed to be. HE should be travelling with the men, HE should've been with them for the last three years, HE should be trusted enough with all this important stuff he should know if he is the next chief/acting chief.

He is being told this new kid has seen and done things the most skilled of warriors couldn't have done, like he is this almost untouchable standard Sokka can't reach. Then to be told he's taken Sokka's place in the tribe as Hakoda's and Batos' adopted child, teaching him how to be a man over the three years Sokka didn't even know his father, never a letter, never knowing when they would come home. Then being told by that same kid that he was only playing war. not to mention the piercings and jewellery he's adorned with.

Sokka has been the leader of the remnants of the Southern Water Tribe for three years, and due to the strict gender divides, had no one to teach him how to lead in the way a chief would. He has been the one hunting, defending, in charge of the future of their civilisation, the education of the children, which is really important in their culture. the memories of his father would be so twisted to the memories Hadoka has of Sokka. Sokka, in the months before he left, lost his mother, protecting his little sister. he then saw his father fall deep into depression, becoming very detached, and from what is described, angry and violent, not towards him, but that his still scary behaviour to witness. Then, his father left, and he was told he couldn't come, and that he was in charge of the village. Even though it was probably to boost his ego at the time more than anything, the impact on Sokka in that moment, combined into quite literally what his job becoming.

Just imagine when he finds out the secrets Zuko's hiding and how his father and Bato knew and didn't tell him. Sokka has struggled with feeling like he isn't important, as a non-bender and his relations with his sister, her being a prodigy + a bender, and his father, always feeling like he wasn't enough for his dad, not good enough, not smart enough, not needed, but the Zuko's good enough, Hakoda loves him.

Zuko, who has had an incredibly traumatic and difficult childhood, the last three years of his life is where he has found and made a spot for himself in a positive community that loves him and supports him, Sokka has become increasingly more and more isolated, and his sense of self has changed even more dramatically in the last few weeks.

Sorry for the long rant, but I could just feel Sokka's fears and insecurities screaming at me throughout the chapter. Love this work though, just cried for Sokka <3

HIII OH YOU SO GET IT!! OH YOU SOOOO GET IT!! The fic is for SURE Zuko-centric, but I have been intentionally layering on the potential for his arc to align with Sokka's in completely the opposing way. Zuko has everything Sokka wants, he has a space with the crew, the warriors. he spent the last three years with his father and Bato, bonding, developing his identity as a person alongside the tribe, welcomed in, he has gotten to be everything that Sokka has always wanted. Meanwhile, Sokka has everything that Zuko wants. Sokka was home, somewhere safe with people who cared for him and looked up to him, with his sister, away from his parents and in a position where he was in charge of his own life. Its such a twisted, complex situation where the two crave, desperately, what the other has without thinking about the context. Without thinking of what got the other to the point of having what they wanted, both in turn. IM SOOO happy to see someone talking about Sokka ohhhughhh im so fucking happy. I think a lot of people have focused on Sokka's initial attitude towards Zuko, without thinking about every single thing you've brought up in this beautifully constructed comment, of which I am really excited to eventually flesh out when I am back from hiatus. Sokka, more than anything, wants to be a warrior alongside his father. For Zuko, he doesn't think Sokka fully understands the gravity of what that would look like, especially after having experienced such a heavy loss as he had recently. (RIP king im sorry) but for Sokka, he see's a replacement. he doesnt know the nuances, not for lack of intelligence but he just literally hasnt been told and although he is owed explanation he isn't owed Zuko's story in its full, of what led Hakoda and Bato to the decision of keeping him on board. I firmly believe if Zuko had have been older, or had have been a child from any other nation, Hakoda and Bato would have not kept him. I actually go over this a lot in the early chapters where they're deciding wtf to do. It genuinely ended up being a problem of "well. No matter where we put him he's gonna get killed. How fucked up is that, safest place for this kid is LITERALLY on a warship of the enemy. great." I also think acknowledging the fact that Zuko HAS had a lot of support and comfort in the last three years whereas Sokka has not is a super important point to be made! Despite the current circumstances, and the ones that led Zuko to being in the position he is/was, Zuko did have support which Sokka lacked. TBH, if I hadve had more wiggle room and decided to fuck with canon more then I already had, I would have left a good amount of the warriors in the SWT, unlike in canon. Or had Hakoda go back to leave soldiers there when he realised they were going to be gone for longer then what I am assuming was initially planned. However I was more then aware that would SIGNIFICANTLY change the circumstances of Sokka's experiences and how it aligns with Zuko's, in canon and in the fic, so i chose against it. This is such a sporadic messy reply I am just so happy to get a comment picking up on all the stone I've been laying for a big discussion on the details of Sokka's own trauma and how its going to clash with Zuko's.

All this to say, Sokka will absolutely be getting his turn to hash out everything you've said here and I can promise you no stone will be left unturned when it comes to his trauma and life experiences!! I think a big thing I am most excited for is having the two hash it out and realise where their lives overlap, where their feelings and experiences align and managing to acknowledge that each others traumas dont cancel each other out. Zuko's experiences do not cancel out Sokka's, and Sokka's do not cancel out Zuko's.

#no thing defines a man like love fic #mushy rambles #mushy answers #I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS DIDNT WANT TO POST FOR SO LONG #BUT I THINK ITLL WORK THIS TIME #TUMBLR. GOD.

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