oddp1ant - Tumblr blog

[oddp1ant]

german tourists will come up to you and say some shit like entschuldigung ist there a Nationallostundgefundenbüronummer i can call weil i have mein handytelefon gelosten :( and you have to look at them like they’re a dog that is about to be put down and go Herr wir sind in Südeuropa be so so ernst rn

[oddp1ant]

[oddp1ant]

“On an unrelated note, Detective- mind turning down your tape player?”

(did a playthrough of Disco Elysium with a friend and we thought we were dealing w a very persistent audio bug… turns out it was the boombox we had equipped. Very in character.)

[oddp1ant]

[oddp1ant]

Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:

a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable

b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes

[oddp1ant]

i do actually feel bad for chappell bc my dream is to be gay famous and my nightmare is to be actual famous and i think the same thing happened to her. she tried to be gay famous and accidentally became actual famous and now there’s no way out and now people care about her presidential endorsements

[oddp1ant]

While not a pit freak myself, I recognize it as a wise and righteous position. It's a mitzvah for being gay.

[oddp1ant]

Remind me later.

[oddp1ant]

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oddp1ant]

you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .

[oddp1ant]

[oddp1ant]

the silly goofies

[oddp1ant]

my advice to everyone is to stop identifying with your mental illness or disorders. centering your identity around being unwell will inhibit you from reaching a destination where you are well.

[oddp1ant]

Fascinating what Arissa from s5e17 'a simple investigation' considers "bedroom eyes". Would you guys consider these "bedroom eyes"

[oddp1ant]

You know what, since I'm thinking about it anyways, let's talk formalwear accessories. Most of these are traditionally menswear but a bit of gender fuckery is good for the soul, and frankly most of these are about making your mass-produced clothing fit and lay properly without having to go to the tailor.

Shirt stays: these go around your thighs to hold your shirt down, so that it stays smooth and tucked in. They're usually elastic, with 1-3 clips, and if you wear skirts frequently this is a GREAT way to make sure your top doesn't ride up. The clips will be visible if you're wearing something tight, so loose pants or skirts are where these do best. There's also an insane version that clips to your socks, but that is for lunatics. If you wanted, you could also use one of these clips to hold up thigh-highs.

These do a great job of smoothing and narrowing the waist area by keeping your shirt from bunching there.

Sleeve garters: usually metal, leather, elastic, or silk. These are usually worn with button-down shirts to adjust where your cuff falls on the wrist or hand. They're properly worn on the upper arm, and you pull the fabric of the sleeve above the garter until you cuff is where you want it. Because this creates a puff of sleeve at the bicep, it also broadens the appearance of the shoulders. It's great if you're working with your hands or if your sleeves are often too long for your preference.

Waistband clip or belt adjustment clip/buttons

Three different ways of tightening the waistband of a pair of pants or a skirt. You're not going to get more than an inch or so tighter without weird bunching, and for most of these you'd want them to be hidden under a shirt or jacket, but they do the job if that's something you're having issues with.

Collar pins: There are so many fun ones out there, both with and without chains. They're not terribly practical, though the slight weight may help keep your collar where you want it. Also consider collar tips, which pin (surprise) to the very tips of your collar points.

Sweater clips/guards: meant to hold your sweater or cardigan mostly closed. Great if your cardigan doesn't button, or if you don't like it to be buttoned all the way.

There's tons of other stuff out there like this--etsy is a great place to find this stuff. A lot of these are old solutions to the very modern problem of mass-maufactured clothes not being as one-size-fits-all as advertised, but they're also a fun way to put a bit of personality into businesswear.

[oddp1ant]

I don't know what 20-something needs to hear this, but you can gift fresh flowers to any adult in a pinch and they will love it. If you know even a medium amount of people you will at some point be surprised by a birthday or anniversary out of nowhere, and flowers are cheap, sold everywhere and is best purchased literally on the way there.

[oddp1ant]

I see a lot of ‘cis’ women say they wish they were androgynous in the way men were or they wish they were pretty in the way men were. This is your sign to go try to do that. You may find you enjoy being an androgynous woman. You may find you no longer identify as a woman. You may find you don’t like androgyny. You will not know until you try. Cut your hair if you’ve always wanted to but have been afraid to. Shop in the men’s section if you’ve been too nervous to. Wear clothing with an androgynous  silhouette. Experiment with binding, take baby steps with compression bras if you want. Wear unisex scents. Live life. Try things you want to try. A lot of cis women do not understand the joys of mens pants and mens deodorant. I think everyone should try both of those things.