#Honestly the way he treats Mae

[mamawasatesttube]

superboy (1994) #28 // action comics (1938) #767

"You don't understand! This isn't something you're given -- it's something you earn! If you don't know that, you don't deserve to wear the symbol!"

"Please. Let me show the big man... that I deserve the 'S'. Please."

man. mae really did a number on him, huh?

[dahliaslove]

⭑ HC’S OF SLASHERS WITH A BIMBO S/O

⭑ authors note: this was very fun to make so feel free to request any similar head canons also lmk if i should make a part two with more slashers :)

⭑ warnings: small mention of kidnapping, some of them immediately make your appearance sexual (sorry but they’re very mentally unstable), stalking, mention of panty stealing, corruption kink, aged up stu as if he got away with the killings and went on to college, small mention of fucking in a bathroom, basically they’re all perverts to some extent (sorry)

⭑ characters: thomas hewitt, michael myers, bo sinclair, lester sinclair, vincent sinclair, stu macher

no detailed smut, but minors don’t interact please!

THOMAS HEWITT

- living in the conservative and rural south, i doubt he’s seen many people decked out in as much pink as you while also simultaneously wearing as little clothing as possible

- luda mae will definitely judge you by the way you dress but once she gets to see how well you treat her tommy she’s letting it slide and excusing it by saying that it’s necessary to dress like that in the heat or something

- once you’re an established person in the hewitt residence i feel like they wouldn’t really have to hide their cannabalism from you too hard due to you being you know . . . oblivious

- hoyt would 100% make some sort of remark to you that has thomas fuming, like he knows you’re such a kind and gentle person and hoyt should not be trying to get with you like that, even if you don’t necessarily notice that he’s being sleazy toward you

- i know thomas would low key struggle to contain himself around you and is definitely ashamed about it because he should not be feeling this way when you’re not even doing anything necessarily sexual

- like he feels pathetic palming himself in secret while thinking about you in your short skirts and tight tops but after you find out about this he’ll absolutely let you help him out with it

- imagine trying to calm the creaking from his bed so his family doesn’t hear as you ride him silly with your skirt rolled up your thighs and his big hands holding onto your waist . . .

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MICHAEL MYERS

- the amount of pink you’re wearing is what first catches michaels attention. he definitely stalks you at first and just watches you waltz around in your bright pink attire, oblivious to michael watching you, very obviously too.

- to be honest i think this would frustrate him at first, like why aren’t you noticing that there a dangerous man following you around?!

- oh my god and if you’re someone who constantly forgets to lock their doors? michael is literally taking that as an invitation to break into your place. he doesn’t even bother to hide whenever you come walking down stairs in your short and cutesy matching pajama top and bottoms, he just waits for you to notice.

- mans is absolutely baffled whenever you turn to him and instead of freaking out, you just smile and ask him if he’s hungry. i would like to say that he would take this invitation and take a container of whatever food you have and then just awkwardly leave and question his whole entire existence.

- he comes back though, because even murderers have to eat, right? he just keeps coming back to your house frequently until he’s practically living with you.

- i feel like one day you would probably see him on the news while looking for something to watch and be like oh my god my new roommate is a killer? well . . . he hasn’t hurt me so it’s whatever i guess . . . wait! that’s why he never pays rent?

- once you guys cross the line from roommates to a couple, he will honestly be a little concerned for your well-being, like how does someone as oblivious as you even make it through the day?

- don’t worry though, michael will absolutely stalk you to check in on you and will murder anyone who does anything to you :)

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BO SINCLAIR

- to be honest, this mf is gonna sexualize you immediately. He’s turning his charm levels all the way to 11 and trying to win you over in his own manipulative and slightly hot way though.

- he definitely gets annoyed by you being clumsy, but he uses that as an opportunity to 100% be a pervert by letting his hands wander or just straight up staring down at your tits or ass.

- trust me, as soon as this man is in your vicinity he is rock hard because he literally has the dirtiest mind ever and has absolutely no chill. ( this makes the sex 1000% better though )

- he for sure has nude polaroids of you in his wallet, like imagine gifting them to him sealed with a bright lipstick stain on the back and a cutely drawn heart. he also jacks off to these in the back of his shop because he has no shame when it comes to you as i said earlier.

- he probably wouldn’t worry much about you leaving due to you being oblivious to the situation you’re in but he would definitely be more protective of you because of this when you get to know each other more.

- like if any tourist tries to do or say anything to you that he doesn’t like? he’s gonna try and keep his act together with clenched teeth and a strained smile before killing them off himself instead of sending them to vincent or something.

- definitely makes fun of you for being a naive klutz though. like he will manipulate you to the max to get you to comply for him, he’ll say things like “just please do it for me, okay sugar?” and have you wrapped right around his finger.

- the same kinda goes the other way, just to an extent. after a while of you laying some sweet loving on him he’ll definitely be asking lester to pick you up some pretty lipsticks and anything that he thinks you’ll find cute.

- over all, you’re bo’s walking wet dream and he literally can not get over you especially after you guys get in a relationship and to you he’s just your silly little mechanic boyfriend who lives in a weirdly empty town.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

LESTER SINCLAIR

- lives for the aesthetic and finds you so pretty but is a total pervert and he, like bo, uses your naivety to his advantage

- he gives panty stealer vibes to me, like i know he probably acts all innocent and puppy eyed around you but as soon as you look away for one second he’s going into your room and stealing your panties you know? (he still does it while you’re in a relationship too, because this man can not be stopped)

- say you work at a cute little diner he likes to frequent (because of you) he will go there every other day and butter you up only to leave the parking lot of the diner and jerk off into his hand on the side of some abandoned road . . .

- he will find a way to be with you whether it be literally stealing you away or finding you on the side of the road after your cars broken down and convincing you to stay with him. and with the second option being more likely (he will mess with your car and plan out the whole thing) you won’t even realize he’s got you tied in with him forever

- you’ll just think lester is the sweet southern man from the diner who’s turned into your boyfriend who takes care of you and let you move into his place really quickly

- He absolutely has a corruption kink, like he loves the idea of being with someone so perfect and just absolutely ruining them. he also definitely has you christen his truck for “good luck” by fucking you in there until you’re a sticky sobbing mess.

- but on the softer side of things, i know lester is so greatful for you and can’t believe that someone as sweet and pretty as you could love him. especially as someone who wasn’t loved properly as a child :(

- and he’s so protective over you too because he knows how mean the world can be and he doesn’t want anyone else to hurt you. so he’s definitely extra careful when he has you in the car and is picking up tourists. it’s low key funny because he’s over here worried they’re gonna say something mean to you and not that you’re gonna find out what he’s luring them into. if they do something though, he makes sure to tell his brothers to make their death slow and painful :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

VINCENT SINCLAIR

- he absolutely adores you, like he loves having a silly lil naive pink loving partner.

- anytime you’re having one of your airhead moments he will calmly explain to you in more detail until you understand what he’s talking about :(

- he loves drawing you, he does it so much it’s to the point where his pink colored pencils are getting shorter and are always dull from use. he hangs the drawings up all over his walls and stuff too, which literally has you leaving kisses all over him and drowning him in compliments (he gets very flustered)

- tries to keep you away from the fact he turns people into wax statues, but is glad that you don’t even seem to notice! imagine you complimenting him on how life like they look and he’s like :-|

- probably very protective over you, especially if you come into contact with bo . . . who has no shame in flirting with you but you’re just like no thanks i have a perfectly awesome and cool boyfriend :) (bo’s ego was very hurt that day)

- this immediately has him rolling all over the house and happily dancing because he loves you so much and you’re all his

- just because he feels like this doesn’t also mean he’s not a perv like the rest of them though (you thought you were safe muahaha) he probably has so many nude drawings of you, mans absolutely gets every detail in them too

- he hides them from you at first but if you find them . . . oh my lord he’s gonna be so embarrassed . . . and hard. seeing him depict you so beautifully, probably splayed out on pink sheets too, immediately has you on your knees for him.

- i don’t care i would suck this man dry to show my appreciation, like until he has tears in his eyes and he’s just uncontrollably bucking his hips into your mouth

- basically he loves you in pink and is your #1 supporter!!!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

STU MACHER

- absolutely whipped for you and you have him following you around with heart eyes all over campus

- doesn’t tell you about his side hobby of killing people, because he honestly doesn’t feel the need too since you believe him anytime he says the red staining his shoes is paint.

- absolutely gives you the princess treatment since he has all that money from his rich parents, so he buys you new clothes, gives you mail money, money to get your hair done, ect, ect.

- but he also does it with his actions you know? like he absolutely opens the door for you with a dramatic bow and says something like “after you, m’lady”

- he’s the type of guy that will go out of his way to look up your skirt to fluster you though

- he’s still a pervert but he’s more jokey about it, for example, he makes all sorts of dirty jokes and giggles like a maniac when you don’t understand them. when you do though, you’ve got him down on his knees for you, if you respond back by flirting, just know he’s taking you off to some bathroom and absolutely fucking you dumb and when you’re done he’s flipping your skirt back down and leaving the bathroom with a spring in his step.

- basically you’re just his sweet lil bimbo partner who he spoils endlessly in kisses n’ nice stuff who thankfully never notices the blood staining random items in his apartment :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[aniseya]

idk if it’s been said but i’m putting in more of my thoughts about oshmir.

i honestly don’t feel like qimir views osha as simply just a better version of mae (in the sense that any sort of affection he had for mae holds any bearing on how he’ll treat osha now). he hasn’t shown any sort of obsessiveness over mae and simply viewed her as a pupil, and seemingly one he didn’t think would prevail because she had a hard time following through the way he wanted her to. but then he meets osha and practically seems to feel her liveliness and passionate side within the force, something the dark side attends to more than the reserved nature of the light side. in fact, he probably thinks the dramatics of the situation are darkly ironic, in that neither have known each other was alive and while that softens mae, it may not do the same for osha considering osha still has a lot left to learn about the jedi’s corruption. which is why when he says “you look exactly like her” in such a way was his way of saying “hello osha, i can’t believe i’m finally meeting you” while feeling just how different and more susceptible she is to the dark side.

[mylastmoleculeofserotonin]

Ik some people see a plot hole in all the Jedi accepting Vernestra’s coverup since Sol was at the Temple teaching younglings when Indara was killed, but honestly, I don’t get it. If anything I see it as a reflection of how respected and influential Vernestra is. Idk much about her as I haven’t read the comics, but they way the other Jedi treat her have me the impression that she’s one of the most respected Jedi short of the High Council. It seems to me that even if a Jedi was able to get solid proof of Sol’s innocence (which would probably be very difficult as Vernestra would have sealed away the evidence and official records and confronted anyone who tried to reopen the case) they would have to be both extremely courageous to openly challenge Vernestra and have incredible conviction to knowingly cast the Order in a bad light especially since their relationship with the Senate is becoming strained.

That being said, Vernestra still knows there’s a threat to the Jedi (her former Padawan) and there’s a major loose end (Mae) which she is going to need to take care of without drawing suspicion. Hence she gets Yoda involved since she knows she’s not powerful enough to do it alone, which makes it even more unlikely that someone would challenge her cover story. But it also presents a huge risk since if Yoda doubts her, he 100% could and would reopen the case and bring her reputation crashing down. I think that this would have been the plot of season 2: can Vernestra maintain the coverup while also taking care of Qimir, Osha and Mae with Yoda carefully watching her every move?

[bookishdaze]

My too long theory post about Mae as Reverse Caesar? This is multiple theories, really...

My theories on Mae's origins have ranged from her just being a lone smart girl among feral humans, to her coming from an underground civilization living in a bunker (My personal favorite. I like Fallout, lol).

Here's one that came to mind recently. It's not my main theory for her, (I still think she's just from some colony of smart humans) but it's my most "creative" and "crazy" one, but if people are allowed their crazy astronaut theories, THEN I'M ALLOWED THIS ONE 🤪

I'm gonna be calling her Mae/Nova for this.

Feel free to poke holes in this theory by the way, hehe.

This theory came to me after watching the new trailer, where we hear her being called "Nova," and we also get a shot of her riding on horseback with Raka. It reminded me a lot of Nova from War riding with Maurice.

So I thought, 'Huh, we're getting another blonde girl named Nova riding on horseback with an orangutan in the exact same way. It almost looks like the characters and plot for KOTPOTA could be a reworked version of what a plot could look like for a direct War sequel following a grown up Cornelius with Nova and Maurice and ohhhhhh-'

*puts on tinfoil hat* So my weird train of thought led me to this wacky theory: Mae/Nova is a human that was taken in by Raka as a child, and he has been raising and taking care of her. Just like Maurice did for Nova. She's kinda like Tarzan.

At first I had thought Raka met Mae/Nova because she was separated from her human colony and he was helping her get back home before they ran into Noa.

I also thought that maybe they come from a place where humans and apes already coexist, and I honestly still think either of these is the case tbh, but this part of a recent article made me think otherwise.

The "rabbit-in-headlights" bit makes me doubt she comes from a place where there are intelligent humans. (It's still possible she could be. I'll get to that later). To me this sounds like she's smarter, but still has some "animal" behaviors.

As for why Raka took her in, it can totally just be coincidence that we have another friendly orangutan who adopted a young girl.

Or maybe it became some sort of, ehh, tradition? Him wearing a necklace with Caesar's symbol and talking about how apes and humans used to live side by side makes him sound like a religious person. Maybe somewhere along the line, it became custom for those who follow his faith to "adopt a Nova" to raise and take care of, like Maurice did.

There is a difference, though. Raka could have been taking care of Mae/Nova, but he still sees her as an...well, an animal. A very smart animal that he feels a responsibility towards. I know him viewing her as an animal sounds pretty harsh, but keep in mind that humans have regressed to be like animals at this point.

And there's also this scene where he just....tosses her some food. It's no different from the way humans toss a friendly animal some food, really.

"But why does she seem frightened by the apes at the fireplace if she's been raised by Raka?"

I think she's scared of Noa here.

Orangutans are actually solitary creatures (I googled, lol), so it's very possible that it's just been her and Raka, and any newcomer makes her nervous.

Ok ok ok, so he's a guy who has taken in an animal that shows signs of intelligence and has taken it upon himself to nurture and care for this animal because his personal beliefs tell him that in doing so, he could potentially make the world a better place.

Like Will did with Caesar.

"So she's reverse Caesar." Yeah. That's pretty much what I've been trying to get at with all my rambling. Yay, parallels!

And we know Will cared for Caesar, but he always saw him as an animal. A very smart animal, but an animal nonetheless. He had him on a leash, and as much as he didn't want to, he still took him to the primate shelter. It wasn't Will being cruel, he just treated Caesar the way any human would have treated an animal, no matter how close they are.

Of course, like Caesar, Mae/Nova is gonna go through some changes. She's a young girl growing into adulthood. She'll have "needs and wants," as this article states.

Those needs and wants could be many things. To be regarded as equal. No longer wanting to feel inferior. And if she truly is some lone smart girl among a world of feral humans, she's also gonna feel really really lonely. (Think about it. If she does not come from a colony of smart humans and she truly is the only one, that's tragic. I'd be depressed, man).

So she'll also want friendship and companionship. To have a friend or anyone she can relate with. She'll most likely find this with Noa, since the article says, "...there are far more parallels and commonalities between the two of them than they might have originally imagined."

Okay, one question came to mind when coming up with this theory.

Why is she smarter than other humans? I got a few theories.

Theory 1. She could still be someone who grew up in a colony of intelligent humans, whether it be a colony in an underground bunker or anywhere else. It doesn't matter. But something terrible may have happened, like her colony was killed off, or she was separated from them as a little girl. Then Raka found her and took her in. Like Tarzan!

Theory 2. This one and the third one won't be as satisfying to fans, I assume. But maybe Raka noticed a lone child that was smarter than most, and he decided to take her in and help her intelligence grow.

Theory 3. She started off as an unintelligent feral girl, but being raised by an ape allowed her to slowly gain her intelligence back. I actually like this one. For starters, it's similar to the Planet of the Apes novel from 1963, where one of the astronauts became feral and unintelligent because of spending too much time in a cage with feral humans at a zoo, and Nova actually gained the ability to speak and became intelligent after spending a year or two in space with Ulysse, the protagonist.

Theory 4. She's like Megamind where she was launched into space from an alien planet as a baby while her homeworld burned all around her and she crash landed onto Earth. THERE'S YOUR ASTRONAUT THEORY.

I'm kidding. That was a joke. I know April Fool's was two days ago.

As for her name, we've gotten three so far. Mae, Nova, and Echo. I like to think of her name as a sort of symbol or indicator of her character growth, where I assume she'll gain the ability to speak at the end, or will have grown into herself as a person.

She'll start off as Nova. A common generic name given to all humans, given to her by Raka.

Then Echo. A more unique name given to her by Noa, but still not her own.

Then, finally, Mae. Her true unique name that she was either born with, or she picks out for herself.

Aaaaand I think that's it. I'm done. I know that was long, but I wanted to gather all of my thoughts and theories on Mae/Nova somewhere before I watch the movie in a month. Whatever her story is, I cannot wait to see it unfold. Now it's time for me to SLEEP.

[suzukiblu]

I know it's totally wrong for what you're shooting for but your stories make me feel bad for Clark. All these folks judging him, when as far as he can tell Kon doesn't even want to be around him. And honestly, he's had clones before. No one expected him to mourn when a Bizarro degraded

. . . okay, friend, first off I apologize, because I def got carried away with this response and it turned into a bit of a rant, hah. Please don't take any of this the wrong way or get the impression I'm annoyed by this ask or anything, I just fundamentally disagree with SO many things about how Clark's relationship with Kon has been handled in canon and apparently I had to word-vomit a lot of that out here and now in explanation of why I tend to write Clark as being Objectively Wrong about Kon/how he treats Kon.

A) There's no convincing reason I can think of that Clark should think Kon doesn't want to be around him, and if he DID, why would he have given him permission to wear the El crest to begin with, much less offered him either the name "Superboy" or "Kon-El"? Especially Kon-El, because that's a name that originated from a specifically ADOPTED member of his birth family, and Clark offered it to him while CALLING him family, but also . . . lying to him about having a secret identity? And whole-ass other life??

and also

B) I actually WOULD expect Clark to mourn a Bizarro degrading. That's like his whole deal, in my experience of him across various media: Clark Kent is a person who thinks that every person matters and is undeniably the kind of guy that would be upset by someone suffering from genetically-inevitable degradation. Especially if the people suffering that degradation only exist to suffer it because HE, Clark "I Am Personally Responsible For This Whole Damn Planet, And Yes That IS A Threat" Kent, exists.

Like, Clark always takes way too much on himself. So it doesn't really make sense to me that a dude like that would take one look at a kid with his own face who is actually at best about a month old and just decide "yeah, this person doesn't need me ever involved in their life at all" and STICK with that assessment even through repeated problems, near-death experiences, and straight-up disasters. ESPECIALLY because Clark already knew Matrix, and she was ALSO a genetic experiment who'd been made in his image by someone he didn't have any reason to trust. But he still took Mae to his parents' farm and let her live there pretty much immediately, trusted her with SO many of his secrets and even trusted her living with his parents without, again, having to jump through ANY of the MULTITUDE of hoops that Kon did to earn a similar level of trust, and she eventually started dating literal LEX LUTHOR and Clark still trusted her after THAT!

( I mean, I think everyone thought Lex was his own son at the time or something weird like that, Because Comics, but still! STILL!! )

Shit, Clark still trusted Mae after she had a mental breakdown ON HIS PARENTS and tried to attack him and had a severe enough psychotic break that she thought she literally WAS him! Mae very quickly proved herself to be WAY more dangerous and hostile than Kon has EVER been outside of being directly mind-controlled, but from the jump Clark is way more invested in her and her life and CARES way more about her and her life. And later he responds to Kara just as differently as he did Mae, despite her ALSO debuting as both a more dangerous and more hostile person than Kon. So like . . . there's a bit of a double-standard going there, it kind of feels like? Like, at least on a meta-level. And I'm sure most of it's editorial nonsense and the kind of narrative problems that lie inherent in like . . . what, thirty-plus years of comic history and about eight bajillion different writers and the like, obviously, but it just is REAL hard to justify that behavior in the actual narrative when Clark Kent is meant to be the moral paragon that the entire damn rest of the DC universe is meant to set its metaphorical watch by.

Either way, though, I'm usually trying to write Clark as either sympathetic or at least understandable in his logic, even when it's flawed, so I wouldn't really say it's "wrong" if you feel sympathy for him while reading my writing. Like, I'm not saying he's in the right in those specific fics, but I do still want to be empathetic to his point of view. It is again just REALLY hard for me to explain a lot of Clark's canon relationship with Kon in any way other than "benign neglect due to just deliberately assuming that all Kryptonians are always Perfectly Fine, Thanks due to his own personal issues about what 'Superman' represents", and that's the KIND option.

Long story short, I really just don't care what DC says, It is NOT on the brand-new teenager with zero life experience who Clark deliberately LET put an S-shield-shaped target on their back to single-handedly foster a relationship with the perfect superhero idol that most of the damn world looks up to. I genuinely cannot think of a single significant occasion where Clark ever does anything for Kon that involves CLARK having to put in any kind of recurring effort, but we're supposed to accept that KON has to earn scraps of Clark's attention and the right to be considered a part of his family over and over again--while Clark, again, doesn't have to do anything to earn Kon's attention or the right to be considered a part of HIS family? Ever? Even ONCE??

Relationships are two-way streets, DC! That's just how relationships are, DC!! Otherwise it's just parasocial bullshit or someone taking advantage of someone else, DC!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I really love Clark, I think he's a great character in a lot of fascinating ways and that he is VERY interesting and affecting when he's done well ("you can do anything you want, and all you want to do is help people" HELLO CRYING IN THE CLUB RN), but like . . . come on, DC, what the fuck and WHY?

[socheckitout-mikey]

Hi! I requested the Dal in a bsf relationship. I meant like where they are dating but also act like best friends (v comfortable and kinda goofy kind of relationship) it can include nsfw if you want

heeey, lost the original ask for this one, but thanks for sending this one in! i loved writing this, altho it turned out sappier than i usually write my hc's for dally. hopefully you like them tho! - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dallas Winston Dating His Best Friend Hc's:

° Being best friends with Dallas and dating him is probably your best bet. You both know each other really well, which brings about understanding and trust.

° That’s right, Dallas Winston trusts someone besides himself and that’s you. You’ve proved time and time again to him that you’re a loyal friend, and with that loyalty birthed the deep feelings he has for you. He may bury them underneath being a menace with annoying teasing sessions or a powerful temper, but they’re there. It takes a trained eye to see it, but you know how he feels about you when there’s that fire in his eyes as he calls you slightly mean little nicknames to rile you up as you’re in the midst of causing trouble; or in the times where you’re going at it, saying the worst things to each other. Those brown eyes say more than most would think and you’re a master at reading them.

° But you don’t admit that you know. You know it wouldn’t do any good, and it would make you feel uncomfortable as well. You understand the score with Dally: He’s not changing for anybody and that includes you too. Somehow you like his untameable wildness — it’s raw and true.

° Not much has changed in your relationship in the way you treat each other. You still engage in your prank wars and get up to no good — the list is entirely endless. The only thing that’s changed is the couple stuff like going on dates, extra PDA and so on. It doesn’t feel strange, but completely natural. Like you both fit together somehow. He’s like a drug that gives you a rush and you’re hooked! You think that even if he broke your heart that it would be worth it all, because at least you lived life on the edge.

° You’re wild like him and probably just as unapologetic. Maybe you have a better head on your shoulders than him so you’re picky with the types of trouble you get invested in, and honestly, Dally respects that — for the most part. He wants you to be courageous alongside him, but the thought of you sitting in a jail cell just doesn’t suit you one bit. So he’s oddly protective of you and keeps the heavy crime completely on the down low around you.

° You guys are always joking around, and sometimes it gets mean as hell. Even Two is left whistling in awe at how you both dig at each other, but then the two of you are grinning and the gang can’t help but shake their heads, declaring you both are insane.

° You guys sing and dance to your favourite Elvis and The Animals hits! You use your mum’s rolling pin as a microphone as you’re meant to be making pie crust whilst Dally is swigging down one of your dad’s beers he promised not to touch. You’d usually get mad at him for it, but he’s got flour in his hair and your heart is galloping as Dally gets silly, pulling you close to dance with him. It’s a soft moment, but you never bring it up again unless it’s just you two. He’s got a reputation to uphold and a fearsome hood dancing about with flour in his hair wouldn’t do his notorious image any justice.

° He likes to drive you places, but you hate his driving. You’re holding on for dear life as he zooms through traffic. You’re so uptight that it leads to you both bursting into a fit of laughter at the traffic lights because you sounded and looked so ridiculous! I think that’s what Dally likes the most about you, you’re always laughing at yourself and finding ways to make him laugh at himself too. You cut through some of that anger and sometimes it scares him a little.

° You guys play fight all of the time. Wrestling and putting each other into headlocks are your favourite pastimes! You’re always messing with each other in public, sneaking up on each other — the list is so long! It’s a lot of fun and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

° You’ll never forget the time you managed to spook Dallas out of his skin when he returned from the bathroom one night. You never let him live it down.

° “Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” Dallas screamed as you popped out from the closet. His fists were clenched, like he was about to swing out and knock you on your ass, but he was holding back. He was pale as a ghost, having stumbled back into the opposite wall. All you could do was laugh, tears streaming down your cheeks as he recovered, “You little shithead! I coulda hit you you know?! Fuckin’ givin’ me a heart attack! What you laughin’ for? It ain’t funny!”

° Boy was he grouchy with you after that. But he did get you back worse in true Dally fashion.

° Dallas likes to take you to parties and he’ll dance with you, but it takes some coaxing. He likes to dip and flip you, even likes to throw you up in the air! It’s exhilarating and he’s enjoying it just as much as you do because of that goofy grin you’ve got on your face. 

° Fights are often passionate and fueled with a lot of hurt. One thing can set it off and I think it hurts more with how close you guys are. You both hate fighting but it happens to every couple. Dally may be in one of his moods and although you’re good at reading him you sometimes make mistakes and talk to him when he needs space. Other times it can be you that causes them. Either way they hurt and depending on how big they are will determine how long it lasts. But you guys surprisingly don’t fight very often because of how chill specifically you are.

° Dally hates it when he gets locked up because he hates disappointing you. There was one time where he got arrested right in front of you and the way you were crying as the cops cuffed him up was the worst. He sucks at comforting people and when you went to step forward, Dally looked cold as hell as he told you to get back. It hurt you, but you realised he was just trying to protect you. These cops were dirty and he didn’t want you getting arrested because they perceived your actions as trying to prevent his arrest.

° When you visit him in the cooler, he does love it. However on the other hand he also feels a little uncomfortable that you're seeing him there again. He's prepared for a speech and sometimes you do have one prepared, but mostly you're just relieved to see that he's okay. You tease him for that horrible buzz cut he has.

° He’s more tense and reserved, but he’s happy to see you. Dally is really aware of the other inmates around, but he likes seeing you. You make jail much better to endure.

° You guys get up to a lot considering Dally is very social, and you are too. You’ll go to parties, drive-ins, concerts, diners, beer blasts, rodeos, carnivals and a whole host of other things! Dally takes you to Bucks if you wanna go and there isn’t such a rowdy crowd in there. He enjoys spending time with you and getting up to no good. He likes to show off a lot to impress you, which can sometimes go wrong.

° Like that time after he’d rode bull in a rodeo and he went to hop over the top of the fence but his feet got caught in the metal which resulted in him practically face planting on the ground. He’d thought he was so cool, grinning at you impishly. It ruined the moment fast and he just had to laugh at himself as he dusted himself off.

° “Whatchu laughin’ at, eh?” he laughed as he trotted towards you.

° You barely got the word, “you,” out of your mouth. You were a mess with tears streaming down your cheeks.

° “This is how you greet your man, eh?” He grins down at you, hands on your hips.

° He didn’t help the matter but he did get a kiss out of it.

° If your playful flirting before was anything to showcase your fondness for each other, dating has made that so much worse. Sometimes Steve over hears it and starts yacking, but it's only because you guys amp it up due to the fact you know he's listening in.

° But Dally is a huge flirt! He loves to make you embarrassed – if he's capable of doing that any more. Flirting is one of his main love languages besides physical touch. He's sort of lame though because sometimes he pretends to do that whole thing where he doesn't know you, which is always a great laugh when you go along with it.

° He’s certainly protective of you and shows he cares about you in the subtle ways you’ve learnt to pick up. He doesn’t always tell you he loves you, but his actions show that he does. He shows it through walking or driving you places, standing up for you, giving you his jacket and telling you to keep it, taking you to bed when you fall asleep on him when you’re both watching a movie on the couch and so on.

° 100/10 y’all are genuinely so cute and funny together!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more! 

requests: open!

[mysoftboybensolo]

The "Why Henry Frankenstein is Awesome and I Love Him and Elizabeth" Post

I love Henry as well as his relationship with Elizabeth from Frankenstein (1931) and Bride of Frankenstein.

What should be noted is that Henry from the movies is different from Victor in the novel. He has faith in his creation and doesn't abandon him, he tries to teach him and the motivation to create was because of a genuine desire to understand life and make progress in science. It's only when the creature attacks Fritz does he concede to putting him down, but even then, he understands that the creature was being tortured by Fritz and wants him to be killed in the more humane way. And unlike Victor in the novel, Henry actually told his loved ones the danger and helped to avoid serious collateral damage.

Honestly, as much as we give credit to Boris Karloff for his performance, and rightfully so, we need to give credit to Colin Clive. He created a version of Frankenstein that makes him more humane, flawed but good, someone who loves more than he hates, and he is may favorite version of him, and in this moment, this is why.

At the end of Bride of Frankenstein, when Elizabeth tries to take Henry away from the castle, he refuses saying that he can't leave them, them being Pretorius, the Bride, and the Creature. It's remarkable that even after all the horror the Creature had inflicted on Henry and others, Henry still seems to hold some kind of compassion for his creations, that he is willing to die with them. Colin Clive says it not as if he wants to stay because he has a death wish or even because he feels obligated to stay, but because he does care. And when Karloff's creature tells him to go, which is such a wonderful delivery, as if he cares for his creator, it gives the Creature sympathy and redemption, but also makes Henry more complex of a hero than just some dumb and selfish person is can come across in the novel.

Photo credit to @colincliveforever

This look he gives before leaving is what made me love this version of Henry. Clive looks back at him with such pity and compassion that makes the ending a bittersweet tale.

Now, let me explain why Henry and Elizabeth are perhaps my favorite Universal Monster couple.

Elizabeth comes into the film determined to find out what is going on with her fiancé, asking his best friend and his professor, then not only had decided to join friend to investigate, but motivates the professor to go with them to speak to Henry. People may say she is flat, but in these scenes, we see her character; she loves Henry deeply, is on good terms with his friend, even gently putting him in his place when he suggests his romantic feelings, then will not be talked out of seeing Dr. Waldman, and convinces the men to go and see Henry. Without her, the plot may not have went forward the way it did.

Although Henry wanted no one to come in, as soon as he sees Elizabeth is there, he is willing to let them in, and tries to gently tell her to go, as he is so close to achieving his goal. Unlike perhaps some other Universal heroines, Elizabeth doesn't immediately dismiss his experiment, nor does she try to lure him away, but says she does support him, but will not leave him. Proving so, she goes into the lab and witness Henry bringing a dead body back to life, despite looking frightened at first. I love too that while Henry barks at Victor to sit down, he gently asks her to sit, "please", he adds. I love the trope of a guy getting soft around his lady love, and clearly, Elizabeth is his moral backbone.

Much what makes them work is that Colin Clive has great chemistry with both actresses who play Elizabeth, that even the jarring change from the blonde Mae Clarke to the brunette Valerie Hobson can't change that. Regardless of which actress he is playing with, Colin Clive always treats his Elizabeth with tender respect and love, making me wish I knew more about their relationship.

Hobson's Elizabeth shows off exactly what I loved about her character is how she has an inner strength, most notably in the scene where she tells off Pretorius, which makes even someone as unbothered as he is be, well, bothered by this. Even when she is kidnapped, she attempts to tell Henry where she is, and, even though we don't see it, I am headcanoning that she escaped on her own and got to the castle.

Then comes a moment that becomes one of my favorite Henry x Elizabeth scenes. At the end of Bride of Frankenstein, Elizabeth gets to Henry, desperately tries to get in the lab, unaware of the danger. Henry tells her to leave, warning her of the danger, but her response? "I won't unless you come," a line that Hobson's delivery truly sells the belief that she truly would have stayed with him.

Photo credit to @colincliveforever

Among the other Universal Monster series couples, they are far from boring, far from uninteresting, and in short, I love them to bits, both separate from each other, and together.

[xerith-42]

Dante hesdcanons pls pls pls pls pls

I'll admit, I haven't given blue hair and pronouns enough love, so let's give it to him.

Dante was like 18 fresh out of the guard academy when Aph met him, compared to Garroth and Laurance who are in their mid to late twenties, and he was kind of just a little feral. Dante is just used to being a bewildering presence for people and he loves it. Like "Yes, I am basically a very tall child (5'7) and yes I will kick your ass." He likes confusing people, but he also really likes that Aph isn't thrown off by him. She treats him the way she would treat any guard she got roped into helping on a mission.

Dante's favorite color is magenta. Don't ask me why.

Dante carries on the honored tradition started by Gene of being a completely disastrous bisexual. Then again, with Garroth, Aph, and Laurance as his other role models, he really didn't stand a chance. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks about the possibility of just being with Nana and Nicole at the same time. He knows it's impossible, they've already pushed the situation past the point of no return because of his and Nicole's refusal to communicate, and he can't even begin to fathom how he'd explain it to the kids if Nana and Nicole even agreed to it.

Dante's favorite sweet that Nana makes is strawberry tarts. Strawberries are just his favorite fruits and Nana is always able to make something delicious with them.

This is basically canon but I want to turn up Dante's "I love my wife so god damn much!!" energy to 11. Like even if there's problems with Nicole, especially after they're resolved, he's so in love with Nana it's ridiculous. Y'know the way Maes Hughes is in Fullmetal Alchemist about his wife and kid? That's how Dante is.

And nobody can even really be mad at him because he's so earnest and loving and especially his mentors are so proud of him for really finding love and learning to cherish it. But there is more than a few times when Dante is gushing about his wife to Laurance while they're sparring and Laurance just groans and rolls his eyes. "Dante, I literally knew your wife before you did." "But you don't understand how she makes me feel Laurance! She's so brilliant, and beautiful--" "I've already heard you go on this rant before!"

There are some days where he's sort of distant. They became more and more frequent after Aph and everyone disappeared. Sometimes he would just go out to the gates of Phoenix Drop where he waited for them, or to that spot in the forest where they were last seen. He doesn't really say a lot, just stares at those spots, letting his brain feeling the crushing loneliness of missing almost everyone important to him. History has repeated itself. Due to forces that were honestly largely out of Dante's control, he's lost his entire family.

When Nana told him she was pregnant, Dante started crying. Tears of joy, relief, terror, grief, adoration, hopefulness. He just falls to his knees while holding her hand and cries. And Nana kneels down and comforts him. She knows what this means to him, how important and yet twisted Dante's relationship to having a family is. But neither one of them doubt that the other wants this. Dante wants this more than anything.

Oh my Irene he must have been a MESS after finding out about Dmitri. I know the show gave us some of this, but he probably hid a lot of it from Aph because she hasn't been around for so long, and he saw the kind of relationship bull shit she is still kind of getting up to, so he doesn't want to burden her with this. But when everyone's gone home for the night and it's just Nana and Dante in their bed together?

Needless to say a lot of tears were shed, apologies were stumbled through, and Dante ultimately resolves that he wants to be an even better father than he is to make up for not being there for Dmitri. And Nana assures him he's already a great father (because he is), but adores how dedicated her husband is to making up for his past mistakes in a very substantial way.

It takes a very long time for Dante to forgive Nicole. He still loves her, he never won't love her honestly, but he can't forgive her for hiding Dmitri from him. Even if they weren't together when he was born, he still would have done anything Nicole needed. Whether that was keeping Dmitri in his home for a few weeks, or just giving Nicole monthly payments, Dante would have taken what he could get. He's heartbroken that after all the time they spent together Nicole didn't realize that about him. Even if he'd "moved on".

I don't think Dante is capable of moving on. He's a character who constantly gets stuck in the past and shoulders the consequences of not only his own mistakes, but the mistakes of many others around him. Even when he tries to move forward, his past keeps coming back to bite him in the ass.

[heaven-is-in-your-arms-series]

Mhom Ped Sawan - episode 14

Mhom Kham is happily reunited with Mhom Sut.

She's also brought Mae Pan to the royal palace so now she and Mhom Sut basically have a daughter.

Mhom Kaew shows up at the Prince's funeral to stir up shit and continue her homophobic agenda but Princess Vilas is having none of it and sends her away.

Considering this is Princess Vilas with her favourite poet almost every hour of the day, you would think Mhom Kaew would realise that she is on the wrong side of opinions.

She still tries to come for Mhom Sut and Mhom Kham but Mhom Sut is having none of it.

And a fight ensues!

Mhom Kaew slinks back to the house she is now staying in..

She has pawned all her jewellery and is feeling sorry for herself.

But her maidservant points out that she still has her looks so there's nothing to stop her becoming someone else's second wife. Probably not a prince but at least some wealthy older noble 😅

Then we see the woman she is staying with who I think is taking advantage of Mhom Kaew but honestly, she's so nasty I have no sympathy.

Ueng (yes, I know I spell her name differently every time 😆) continues to stalk Prik who is very worried when she hears Man has been injured.

She deserves another slap, seriously!

A farang has entered the plot.

This guy is a famous historical figure, Dr Dan Beach Bradley, he becomes very close to King Mongkut. I mention him briefly in When The Nightingale Sings so again, I was excited to see him appear.

Clown of the episode is undoubtedly Prajong who tells Jenaphibal (his situationship) that he does not have any feelings for my baby boy Khwan.

Excuse me?

How could you treat my boy this way you heartless cretin! 😤

Number one shipper Saeng will be devastated!

I think he also confesses his feelings to Jenaphibal or at least, it is alluded to because Jenaphibal looks a bit contrite after their chat even though he is still obsessed with trying to wife up the uninterested lesbian.

Mhom Kham is enjoying being back in the royal kitchens with her favourite helper ❤️

[coveredinsun]

i wrote 3 different winnix fics in december & january but i realized i NEVER posted them here. so behold, my series of winnix fics where i get further and further detached from canon, and where i also make lew a girldad for fun

1. darling, it’s grand, they just don’t understand

“Act upon what he finds within himself, and only himself,” said Dick, audibly pensive in a way he hadn’t been. “I quite like that.”

“Well, that’s the gist,” said Lew with a shrug. He wasn’t even in the top half of eloquent men. “Honestly, I really hated reading and analyzing Emerson’s essays. He found a way to talk and talk and talk about nothing at all, when he could’ve kept it perfectly concise.”

Like you, Lew almost said. The bullet got jammed. Still, he had a hunch that Dick could read his mind this one time.

Or: July, 1948. Blanche Nixon invites her brother, and his business partner slash lover, to… a baseball game?

6.5k words, fluffiest of the three; my weird band of brothers/a league of their own (2022) crossover fic??? whatever. blanche invites winnix to a baseball game to see her baseball player girlfriend-ish, all the way mae. stupid emily dickinson references because i’m lame and basic, sue me. gay jazz clubs :)

2. november 27th

“Kathy hates it when I call her Maggie, but I think it’s cute that she’s got a little nickname to grow out of.”

“Or maybe she’ll find someone who calls her Maggie,” replied Dick, totally without thinking. “And he’ll say it’s ‘cause it’s easier, sure. But more than anything he’ll like the way it sounds when he says it.”

When Nix looked at him, then, his eyes glittered. His lips were pursed like he needed to say something or he’d shrivel up and die.

There were many things Dick could conceptualize him saying. Luckily, they fell into two neat categories—the things Dick expected Nix to say, and the things Dick wanted him to.

Or: 1942, 1944, and 1946. A study on Lewis Nixon’s history with love, destructive vices, and fatherhood—as seen from the eyes of a wife and a lover.

8.2k words, perhaps the most densely packed with angst of the three. examines lew and his relationships with love and fatherhood, both alongside kathy and alongside dick. ann winters introduction <3 and classic new jersey angst

3. the likes of me abide

“Well, I feel compelled to be a little more brave now,” replied Dick, holding up his gaze like Atlas held the heavens. “I ought to give you an answer that’s more honest.”

But not fully. It was sort of bitingly ironic, the way Lew always put up Dick as the more honest of them. He didn’t find that to be true. Not when there still existed so many selfish desires in his mind, like the one that practically clawed and scratched like an animal just to fit somewhere into this part of Lew’s life. He might never put that desperation into words.

Or: Summertime, 1951. Lew gets back in touch with Kathy.

10.3k words, angsty but less intensely as last time. i go reallyyyyy ham with kathy’s character in this, so take that as a treat. i also actually make lew and kathy’s daughter into a character <3

[cheruv-ii]

How does Yasmina feel about your OC?

Which canon character does your OC respect a lot?

Who would call your OC their best friend?

Is there a canon character who would die for your OC?

How does Yasmina feel about your OC?

Yaz sees Lu as p much a not-so-lil lil brother, at first seeing him on the island she was kinda just- happy he was one of the only ones who didn't try to get in her space/talk to her, but after a few days of parallel play and just drawing in silence together in the lounge they got more comfortable with each other. She also started to trust him more after he let her use his walking stick/crutch when she hurt her ankle. Nowadays they're a lot more comfortable around each other, and she def treats him like a younger brother, teasing him and everything while also looking out for him where she can.

Which canon character does your OC respect alot?

Diff answer this time, but Mae, he looks up to her in a sense and she's probably a lot of why he got into Dino veterinary practices. He respects the fact that she views dinosaurs as what they are, animals, and wishes to study them in non-harmful ways, while also being aware of the fact that they should not be around.

Who would your OC call their best friend?

Aside from Ben and Brooklynn(since I alr gave the Brooklynn answer)-Sammy, aside from Brooklynn and Ben, she was the first on Nublar to try talking to him without making a comment about how "emo" he was (Kenji, I'm looking at you.) And she honestly did help him out of his shell, ntm she helped him realize what his feelings for Ben were.

Is there a canon character who would die for your OC?

The entirety of the N6 tbh. Jokes aside, Ben and Kenji would be the top two, Ben because well, he loves Lu, and Lu has done so much for him that he would risk it (though he SHOULDN'T.) Kenji cause, well, who wouldn't Kenji die for? But honestly like, all of the N6 kinda still view him as the 4'10/11 on a good day little kid who was just- terrified and missing his papa so they've all kinda got this instinct to protect him LMAO

[spidermanifested]

❤️💙💖🏳️‍🌈 for FMA. Lay those unpopular opinions on me

oh im feasting today thank you so much

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

see. just by VOLUME id say probably mustang? because he has so MUCH fan content out there and so much of it makes him either a suave cool seductive sexyman or a tragic wet beast whos never done anything wrong. so percentagewise i think itd be hard to compete

However. if we're going in terms of whose personality ive seen get just absolutely mangled to the worst degree. and i think thats whats being asked here. Pppppprobably hohenheim or scar. scar because of racism. and hohenheim because nobody knows how to be normal about a well intentioned fuckup of a parent so instead he has to be literally the devil i guess

oh ling also gets done super dirty as well. people forget that his Airheaded Entitled Royalty act is in fact an act, BUT at the end of the day hes still fifteen years old so he can still be a little dumb and reckless despite being great at strategizing. these layers are apparently incomprehensible to those who want to flatten him into "goofy fun sunshine boy" or "thats basically a grown man right"

id mention the way the women and girls of the series get treated but honestly they either seem to get ignored, Hashtag Girlboss Queen'd and THEN ignored, or made into romantic set dressing for the guys. which is unfortunately too par for the course as far as fandoms go for me to have any kind of novel commentary on it. Sucks Out Here

wiat theres another one but i dont know if im allowed to say it. im scared

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

mustang again

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

HONESTLY???? just going off how my posts on the subject were received im going to have to say its "maes hughes was really conservative and kind of sucked". people did not like that one

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

hmmmmmmmmmmm. trying to rack my brain thinking of one. honestly there isnt really any character im immediately compelled to point at and go CISHET even if i dont like them because im a big enough person to admit that my fellow lgbts can be pieces of shit too. i am not a fan of olivier armstrong but shes definitely a lesbian and roy mustang is bi and deep in the closet and him and hughes had Something going on in boot camp #diversitywin #loveloses

maybe jean havoc. i know some people ship him with mustang, i have nothing against this demographic, however my personal read on havoc is just a larry butz type individual who at most tried to "go gay" out of desperation one time but found out it doesnt really work like that

[nuclearforest]

Also #18 and #19 of the Smut Prompts

Thanks for the ask, Mae! These were very fun and I liked the open-ended selection, so let me get to the other two under a cut. Both are gn!reader inserts. Unfortunately these won't be as long as the Pip one, though. He got a bit more love, but honestly Teggy's desk is probably the winner in this whole batch.

18 - "quit talking shit and put your mouth to good use instead."

19 - "you look so good with my hands around your throat."

18: Integra x reader

It wasn't often that you got a moment alone with your master. Tonight was a rare treat with her ear unoccupied by the butler or the vampires--but it wasn't the best night.

"You should've sent me," you grumble with a wrinkled nose, "Allie's going to botch it and the rookie will just get in the way." You've made sure to make both her and Walter aware of your litany of complaints on the matter.

"Is that so?" Integra swivels in her chair to face you, intimidating even as she was heads shorter the leather seat. Your mouth waters looking down at her in her sharp suit, long legs crossed and elegant. It was an invitation to shut up instead of questioning her judgement.

"Absolutely," you insist, shaking your head to clear it. "I'm better than that bloodsucker." Those were fighting words to Alucard specifically.

She tilts her head down and fixes her stunning blue eyes on you just over the rims of her glasses. "If that's the case, then quit talking shit and put your mouth to good use instead. Prove it."

A shudder rolls up your back and you drop to your knees before your master as she uncrosses her legs and spreads them open before you. Licking your lips, you knew you'd be the winner in this competition. She wouldn't have held you back if it were the inverse.

19: Walter x reader

The old man may not have been as spry as he used to be, but he still had flashes of something young and wild in his dark eyes. Now was one of those times. After you'd worn the ropes he tied across your body that morning under your uniform all day, painfully ready all day for his touch, you managed to corner him in Integra's office as he just finishes sorting the last paperwork for the next day.

His "How can I help you?" quickly became a "You look so good with my hands around your throat." Naked with your legs spread on the boss' desk before him, all you could do was pant around the caress of his white gloves on the skin of your neck. He didn't need to tell you to be a good little slut, and for that you'd get your reward even when you tested him like this.

[falindankovsky]

faniil favorite holiday & how they celebrate??

Ahhh!! Thanks so much for the ask!! It’s fairly obvious but I adore rambling about the sillies!! :) :) uhhh brief mention of suicide nothing graphic however to answer this question I’ve gotta mention some Fal backstory stuff which involves the topic.

Well starting off I can confirm they do not celebrate Christmas at all, as previously mentioned Falin has issues related to the holiday due to making an attempt on his life on Christmas Day after a particularly nasty fight with his father. So for the obvious reasoning Falin can’t stomach the holiday and Daniil never cared much for the holiday beyond his family making him celebrate so it works out. Though post canon Falin might do something minor like getting both Clara and willow gifts despite his discomfort surrounding the holiday he’d still want to give both a gift or two, Daniil would probably just buy people gifts and claim it’s from the both of them to save Falin the stress of having to associate with the holiday further.

As for favorite holiday probably pretty obvious but Halloween!! Both of them are rather extravagant individuals so Halloween would be a perfect time to show off their amazing fashion senses with a duo costume. After all they are the capitals best couple so they have to put together the greatest costume!! However I think they’d both have opposing ideas on the prompt, for examples the idea could be demons!! One would show up as a thoughtful rendition of a classic painting on the subject and the other will show up in a rather…. skimpy version of a demon. As for celebrating it truthfully depends on if this is university or if it’s at the age they are in canon, in university they’d definitely go to a party or two a common friend threw however speaking on current age?? They might still do costumes but just as a fun side thing they’re both far too busy for actually festivities though perhaps thanatica had the occasional Halloween party.

Post canon however I think fal would insist that they take Clara out trick or treating since ya know she deserves a proper childhood and to get to do things any kid does, but also there’s so much potential of danill being Clara’s brother in law that I do not tap into and I think Halloween where he’s left in charge of taking her trick or treating while Falin is busy working is a very good opportunity for that. Suppose there’s also Halloween stuff fanill related that could happen in regards to that homunculus daughter but that’s for another time.

However separately Daniil would take Valentine’s Day very seriously the date on the calendar in his study is marked days ahead of time, he picks out a gift for Falin months in advance he clears his schedule for the day months in advance insisting that they have dinner at the same restaurant they had dinner at after getting married cough cough elopingin the middle of the night during exam season He’s very dead set in it going the same way every year!! Without fail that’s how it’s going to be!! Nothing but the best for his mae vita!! (As for the gifts I think they’d get eachother for Valentine’s Day I think he gets Fal something seal related since nobody else recalls how much he truly adores seals that or perhaps he’d get him some jewelry for his navel?? and Falin would get danko a new beetle for his collection!! Since he knows Daniil loves beetles or perhaps a new microscope after his old one finally gave out!!)

As for Falin he’s not big on holidays honestly however he would be big on birthdays, again case of planning far far ahead in advance the day is marked on his calendar, gifts hidden in his office (as his study is a far to obvious place to look.) he’s already got flowers arranged dinner reservations (Daniil only for those obviously lol)!! He is more than prepared!! He’s hand writing fifty different cards on how much the birthday person means to him and others. Depending on the party and what they prefer maybe he plans a party it depends just I’m starting to get tired you get the point I’m sorry I’m getting sleepy lol I hope these don’t suck lol

[themattress]

"Those damn, dirty ape movies!"

If you want a good laugh, there are not one but two reviews for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes that are seriously offended by how humans are treated in this fictional franchise, acting as if the makers of the films are a bunch of misanthropes who hate their own species and are engaging in ape propaganda. I am not joking; they are angry that a franchise about apes that even has the word "apes" in the title doesn't do enough for humans in-universe and out of it.

Let's break some of these remarks down.

Someone had an idea about how to make “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes,” and it’s a bad one. How about a movie that’s set centuries in the future, where the only characters you see for a full hour are apes — as in apes cavorting, apes swinging from trees, apes fighting each other? Wouldn’t that be interesting? The answer is no. Not interesting at all.

Fuck you, it was interesting. Watching apes is always interesting in these movies; usually moreso than watching humans. Humans have never been the appeal of this film series.

We begin with a trio of young chimpanzees looking to rob eggs from an eagle’s nest. Why they want these eggs is unclear and has no direct bearing on what follows.

Huh? The movie stressed over and over again that it's for each ape to raise their own personal hunting eagle. Handling eagles is literally the main character's father's job!

Proximus is a bad fellow, but then again, who cares? This is where we realize where this is heading: chimps vs. gorillas. We don’t have a dog — or an ape — in this fight, much less a person. Indeed, what takes place many centuries from now between bands of apes really isn’t our business, is it? We might wish them well across the veil of years, but we don’t need to know the details and have no investment in the outcome.  

Who is "we"? Because most viewers do have an ape in this fight, namely Noa and his allies since Proximus being a bad fellow is enough to get people with basic empathy to care.

“Kingdom” is the fourth and worst of a rebooted series that began in 2011 and has expressed, from the beginning, a hatred of human beings and human civilization and a love for apes and the animal kingdom.

No. It only expressed the same truth that the original movie from 1968 expressed: humans are a species prone to self-destruction and if human civilization ever falls it will be a suicide. Apes didn't conquer the world; they inherited it when the humans killed themselves off.

The film follows a young chimp named Noa who escapes a gorilla attack and goes off on his own. Along the way he meets a young woman named Mae — finally, an actual human — but for a long time she doesn’t say anything, because she doesn’t trust Noa enough to let him know that she’s an intelligent, thinking entity. The dilemma of a lone, defenseless young woman, surrounded by apes and working to advance the interests of her people, might have been the basis for a good movie. That might have been a heroine we could get behind. But the screenplay by Josh Friedman is so spineless and limp, so unwilling to take any stand in favor of human life, that it makes Mae into a side character and tells the story through the eyes of Noa. 

It's honestly kind of eerie how much this writer shows the same kind of bigotry that many humans in the films like Mae herself do, where value on human life is placed higher than ape life despite both being "intelligent, thinking entities" simply because it's human life. Mae is absolutely not "a heroine we could get behind" because she has no reason not to trust Noa other than his species and no reason not to work to advance the interests of her people and the apes together other than being a human supremacist who can't accept a different species as equal. Despite actually having credible reason not to, Noa and his ape friends put their trust in Mae, and she betrays that trust in the most heinous way possible, subjecting many apes to the same fate that an ape died saving her from earlier. Sorry; that's not a heroine.

But Noa has no story. He has no drive, and so he can’t drive the movie. He just has generalized niceness and a concern for his fellow chimpanzees, a concern that the movie is incapable of making us share.

"Us"? Speak for yourself. Many people are invested in Noa and his concern for his fellow chimpanzees because they aren't heartless like you and don't like seeing innocent people of any species get hurt. And freeing his tribe and avenging his father's death isn't a drive? Learning to be strong and earn the respect and partnership of his father's eagle while also discovering the teachings of Caesar as the start of his hero's journey isn't a story? WTF!?

When we see computer-generated chimps hugging each other, the sight isn’t heartwarming. It just makes you wonder why you’re still sitting there watching this nonsense.  

Again, speak for yourself. it only makes you wonder that.

Until this franchise stops mistaking its stone-cold misanthropy for political virtue, this franchise is going nowhere.

It's made over $240,000,000 worldwide and counting already. Clearly, you're wrong.

It's that misanthropy — cloaked in reverence of nature's contrasting purity — that's fueled my hatred of the new Planet of the Apes series. It's a pointed but shallow reboot that flips the script of the classic 1968 film by pitching humans as cartoonish villains, and apes as a metaphor for an unrelentingly exploited enslaved people. It also proves these movies have officially outlived their usefulness. 

There has only ever been "cartoonish human villains" in the first of the new series, Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Every other human villain have been nuanced characters. This movie has apes as "cartoonish villains", so you'd think this guy would be satisfied! Also, there was no "flipping the script" - in the classic 1968 film, the apes weren't the bad guys either (you're thinking of the 2001 Tim Burton movie if you think that); the famous twist ending was all about how humans did themselves in and that the evolved apes simply conquered a dead world.

We follow Noa, a peacefully unambitious chimp eking out an existence with his eagle-raising tribe — until the army of nearby despot Proximus Caesar puts a branding iron down on Noa's lush paradise, and kicks off one of those wonderfully human war-like things Caesar at one time so hated humans for.

If you think Caesar hated humans, you haven't been paying ANY attention.

Humans have mostly lost communication and higher-level thinking, the very attributes that Woody Harrelson's character — the villainous general brought in to eradicate the simian scourge once and for all — fought to defend. There, his evil, self-stated goal was to (in an admittedly insane and vile way) stave off humankind's incipient genocide, which he feared "would destroy humanity for good this time. Not by killing us, but by robbing us of those things that make us human." Remember, he was the bad guy. But he was only made a villain through this franchise's endless and awkward contrivances, which show up with mind-numbing consistency. 

You just said "in an admittedly insane and vile way" - not specifying that this way wasn't just "eradicating the simian scourge" (which would do nothing since the virus has already spread and killing them wouldn't make it go away) but by killing any human who caught the virus, including his own son. His militia was splintered off from the main human army, who were understandably against him. Yes, he was the fucking bad guy, to all species.

Throughout the series: there are the evil humans, seemingly dipped in vats of superheated cruelty juice, bent on destroying the peaceful apes despite having little motivation and an inability to do the one thing we're theoretically good at: kill. 

Again, just the human villains in Rise and the Colonel in War. And the Colonel had a clear backstory and motivations behind his cruelty that he spoke of at length.

There is its lost hero, Caesar, bent into log-line knots to try and literally eradicate humanity, while staying completely morally blameless.

Fuck off. Caesar was never trying to eradicate humanity. In the first movie, all he wanted was a peaceful life for he and his fellow apes. In the second, he constantly tried to prevent war between apes and humans. In the third, a big point is made at the start on how merciful he is despite being in a war he never started or wanted, a war that is fought to defend his people and not to massacre the other side. The other side dies out from a virus and literal acts of nature such as an avalanche, not from Caesar and his apes killing them.

And in every movie is an ineffectual but pure human tagging along, doe-eyed, to prove there's some good in us, after all — if only we behaved more like those golly-gee animals close to the natural world. 

"In every movie"? You only seem to be describing Nova in War here.

And she wasn't ineffectual.

Because aside from that famous final line, the 1968 original (based on the book by author and resistance fighter Pierre Boulle) concerned itself more with the impermanence of humankind.

Lol; "aside from that famous final line", which made clear that humankind's impermanence is its own damn fault. It recontextualizes everything about the film to show that humans were the real monsters, not apes. The modern series' stance isn't anything new, you idiot.

Altogether, it emphasizes the unsettling sensation of having an assumed pre-eminence — either as human, or member of a majority — reversed.

I'm getting major white anxiety "Replacement Theory" vibes right now....

Telling the story of humanity's downfall and ape's rise from the ape's perspective narratively demands us to empathize with the ape. And the thesis is that there is something uniquely and innately dangerous about humankind.

Because comparing subjugated people to animals has its own controversial history. But using them as the noble savage — a long-ingrained trope that othered people of colour to suggest they had both lower intelligence and more of a connection with nature by an assumed distance from civilized behaviour — only complicates it for the worse.

You're the only one making the comparison here, pal. Says something about you.

Kingdom's use of that weird, symbolized grouping is watered down due to the mostly ape-focused plot, but brings it right back in the finale with the unprompted, unearned and frankly unneeded line: "Humans will never give up. Not until you claim all things for yourselves."

"Unprompted, unearned, unneeded"? Did you miss the part where Mae literally tried to kill the apes who trusted her because she didn't want to risk any apes gaining access to human technology which she claimed rightfully belonged to humans just like the planet does?

We don't need hours of synthetic, impossible to empathize with faces to learn we shouldn't enslave or eradicate one another.

There it is again, throwing the amazing motion capture and CGI work and the ape actors' performances under the bus by saying it's "impossible to emphasize" with anything that isn't human even if it thinks and feels just as much as any human can. It's honestly despicable.