#Heroes of the Fourth Turning
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Heroes of the Fourth Turning
By Will Arbery.
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The Ferryman: Set in Northern Ireland in 1981, Quinn has swapped his career with the IRA for a life on the farm in rural Armagh. He now lives with his sickly wife, their children, his sister-in-law and nephew. The IRA murdered Quinn’s brother, Seamus, and his body has only recently been discovered. He was one of the sixteen men and women who were killed and buried in unknown locations during the 1970s. Seamus was apparently shot dead following Quinn’s defection from the IRA in 1972, and a threateningly influential IRA member, Muldoon, now comes to pay Quinn a visit. He is keen to ensure that there are no further repercussions to the IRA’s cause, now Seamus’ murder has come to light.
Heroes of the Fourth Turning: The play is set in 2017, shortly after the Unite the Right rally. Four friends spend an evening in a backyard after attending a reunion at their college. They debate numerous political and religious topics. Throughout, a loud sound, which Justin says is a generator, intermittently interrupts the characters. Kevin, drunk, seeks a girlfriend. Midway through the play, they are joined by Gina Presson, their former mentor, who chastises Teresa for her new political beliefs.
Propaganda under the cut!
The Ferryman:
Over three hours of riveting family drama that could have gone on another three hours and I would have been delighted. The last thirty seconds of this show will take you out.
Heroes of the Fourth Turning:
No propaganda submitted
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Rogue Machine Theatre's production of Heroes of the Fourth Turning:
Last week I saw a preview performance of Heroes of the Fourth Turning. During the pandemic I had seen a Zoom performance of this play and it worked remarkably well, so I was excited to see it in person for the first time. The director briefly introduced the show and cautioned that as it was a preview some aspects of the performance were still being refined, so without getting too detailed here, I did really enjoy it. It was just as well-written as I remembered, and the two hours (no intermission) went by very quickly. I belatedly realized that I had seen Emily James (who played Emily) before as Antigone in A Noise Within's production of Jean Anouilh's Antigone eight years ago, so it was a bit of a fun surprise to see an actor I've seen before in a new role.
#heroes of the fourth turning#will arbery#rogue machine theatre#that antigone production was one of the rare times I have thought “WTF was that” after a seeing a show#maybe I will post more thoughts about this play later but I am too tired
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Crow's Theatre Toronto Announces Their 2023.24 Season
#frontmezzjunkies reports @CrowsTheatre's 2023.24 Season "Next season will take our audience on a journey across the globe and into stories that create a snapshot of our common humanity." -C.Abraham #TheaTO #TorontoTheatre #CrowsTheatre #CanadianTheatre
Crow’s Theatre in Toronto is thrilled to announce its huge 40th anniversary season for 2023.24. The 12-play season includes the Canadian premiere of Broadway hits NATASHA, PIERRE & THE GREAT COMET OF 1812 by Dave Malloy, DANA H. by Lucas Hnath, and HEROES OF THE FOURTH TURNING by Will Arbery; which frontmezzjunkies is utterly thrilled to see produced by this wonderfully gifted company. Crow’s…
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#Canadian theatre#crow&039;s theatre#Dana H.#Heroes of the Fourth Turning#Pierre#Natasha#& The Great Comet of 1812#toronto theatre
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i had to watch a showing of Heroes of the Fourth Turning for my Drama class and fuck i have a lot to say about it
my conclusion is longer than my first paragraph because i spent the whole thing talking about trans rights and how uncomfortable i felt being the only nonwhite non-cishet in the audience aside from my kind of white-passing brother
#heroes of the fourth turning#my conclusion feels so passive-aggressive because the actual plot isn't what we're supposed to be reviewing#we're supposed to be reviewing the set and how the actors did but like#you can't just ignore plot when it's literally attacking your existence#anyway#college#college student#theater#theatre#whatever floats ur boat i prefer theater personally
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just watched heroes of the fourth turning at cap stage for a class. it was So Much, but by god did it use its time. all 2 hours and 15 minutes of it. without intermission.
#it was GOOD i LOVED IT i have SO MANY THOUGHTS#too busy rn tho. this is just a reminder to post some stuff about it later.#heroes of the fourth turning#theatre
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This week the New York Times Magazine profiled the playwright Will Arbery. His new show “Evanston Salt Costs Climbing” is currently running, and it sounds like another compelling drama from him.
Arbery writes about Conservative America without casting judgments on them. He leaves that to the audience. And he writes empathically about people living with disabilities, fleshing them out as fully human characters. Growing up with an older sister who was born with Downs Syndrome gave him insights into that struggle.
Although I’ve missed any stagings of his work here in Southern California, I did read the great “Heroes of the Fourth Turning” this year and found it very interesting. I never want to actually attend a backyard party with Trump-supporting Christian college types, but I appreciate his letting me drop in on them for the duration of this play. I can imagine the different reactions the play would provoke from audiences with different points of view.
More, Will, more!
#dramatist#playwright#theater#theatre#stage#writers#will arbery#evanston salt costs climbing#heroes of the fourth turning#corsicana
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no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
#spilled ink#writeblr#this is a real story lol#looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt#compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY#edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family
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smug men who gives you the meanest, world crashing backshots on your balcony so you two can enjoy the fourth of july fireworks together. his left hand keeping a strong hold on ur hips, keeping them in place so he can feed you fast, deep, strokes. his right hand gripping your chin n forcing you to watch as the fireworks shoot into the sky.
“don’t look away from it baby- shittt..” he groaned as he pudgy tip pushed against the deepest parts of you. barely being able to hear him due to the loud pops ! of the fireworks. pressing sloppy, open mouth kisses along your spine, lazily swinging a hand down to play with ur puffy nub. ur knuckles would turn white from how hard ur gripping on the railing, trying to stop ur knuckles from buckling. he’d see you struggling n would slang one arm arm ur waist to hoist you over the railing.
the new angle gives him a advantage to abuse the spongy spot hidden deep in ur cunt. drool would be slipping past ur lips, ur eyes would stray away from the fireworks n you’d stare down at all the people watching the firework show. he told you not to hold ur moans back because “no one would even hear you” n he was right. “fhuckkkk, ‘s too fuckin deepppuhh” you slurred over your words making him grumble up a loud laugh as he smacked the globe of ur ass. ur pussy clamps down onto his girth almost impossibly tighter, making his cock twitch inside of you.
“gonna fuckin- mmph cum in this sloppy pussy- oh my fuckkk!” he moaned squeezing his eyes shut, biting his lip as his fingers attacked ur overly sensitive clit to set you off. spewing white globs into ur womb as he kept thrusting into you. using his other hand to grip ur scalp, forcing you to stare at the last bit of fireworks has you came on his thick cock. ur creamy essence gushing down his length as you screamed out his name. ur eyes rapidly scanning over the fireworks popping with different colors, the light from them shining down on both of ur bodies.
he would slyly pull out n bask in the view of you hunched over the railing with ur knees buckled n ur back still in that pretty arch as his n your release spewed out of ur puffy cunt creating a pool beneath you.
“stay just like that, gotta go get my phone n take a picture” he said before rushing back into the apartment.
pro hero! katsuki .. izuku .. kirishima
s4! eren .. armin .. reiner .. erwin
toji .. geto .. gojo .. sukuna
a/n: happy fourth of july to those who celebrate !! this was very sloppily written so please bear with me !! reblogs, likes n comments r greatly appreciated. also tysm for all the support on my recent worksss, i love yall soooo much !!
previous item on the menu: office siren! nanami
© arminslovurr 2024 , do not copy, translate or alter my work in any way.
#「 linnies daydreams 」#jjk smut#aot smut#mha smut#toji smut#jujutsu kaisen#sukuna smut#gojo smut#geto smut#eren smut#armin smut#erwin smut#reiner smut#katsuki smut#my hero academia#izuku smut#kirishima smut#mha x reader#jjk x reader#attack on titan#[linnie’s works]#linnieloveswhen#[linnie speaks]#pleaaaaseee#fourth of july#4th of july#july 4th#fireworks
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It all seemed to start within a snap of Time; the tick of a clock; the drop of a hat; the blink of an Eye.
Just before any of the assembled Justice League could leave the Watchtower, every alarm went off and pandemonium re-erupted across the space station.
"What the hell is going on?" Batman demanded as he and Robin re-entered the meeting room they'd just left.
Constantine and Zatanna were both using several different ways of communication, talking in frantic tone and jumping between conversations without losing any of them. Deadman had disappeared completely. The America based heroes were all getting calls, all just as confused as each other as to what was going on.
Batman pulled up a map on the projector, the one that was shown in the Observation part of the Watchtower, and glared at the red dot that was slowly taking over Illinois. "Constantine, Zatanna. What is this?"
Constantine glared back at Batman, "What we were trying to avoid by calling a meeting today!" He went right back to whatever conversation he was having in Esperanto.
"Yeah, look what good that did us anyway," Zatanna scoffed between conversations, "We were both late and ignored." She, too, had started speaking on Esperanto.
"That's where Red is based," Robin said quietly from beside Batman. "I-I need to call- make sure she's alright!"
Batman put his hand on Robin's shoulder. "Don't panic, chum, we'll get a plan started and then you can all Red Huntress." The boy nodded, but opened his own communicator anyway, likely to contact his team. Batman turned to the heroes in the room. "Everyone!" He waited until all eyes were on him before continuing, "Calm down. Constantine, Zatanna, find out what's going on-"
"Already doing that, Batsy!" the man hollered before jumping into a fourth conversation.
Batman's eye twitched behind the white lenses of his mask, but he otherwise didn't react to the interruption. "-the rest of us need to go and isolate the threat. We'll plan from there. Make sure your comms are on. Robin, get your team ready for rescue efforts and try to contact Red Huntress to see if she knows what's going on." When the heroes started moving, he grabbed Superman. "Where's Deadman?"
Superman shook his head. "No idea. He was gone by the time any of us came back in here."
Batman nodded and let him go. Everyone was on their way to Illinois right now, but there was something that Zatanna said that struck him as strange. He didn't have to wait ong before her three ongoing conversations all came to a stop. "Earlier, you said that Amity Park liked to stay in Illinois. What did you mean?"
Zatanna jumped when he spoke, obviously not realizing he was still there, but she answered him, "The city's been prime for supernatural activity since its founding. On top of the two dimensional rifts, that much magic contained in one area is bound to give it some form of sentiance, especially because most of that magic is death and life focused."
He hummed and left the room with a sweep of his cape. Containing the issue will be tricky if the source manages to move around them. Regardless, it needed to be done fast.
***
It took another twenty minutes before all five on Constantine's conversations ended. He had gotten the same unfortunate answer from all five of them, and, judging by the look on her face, Zatanna had been given the same news as him.
"We tried to warn them. We fucking tried-!" she slammed her fist down on the table, "But we were too fucking late!"
He ran a hand down his face with a heavy sigh. "C'mon, mate, let's go make sure they don't fuck anything else up."
"And help them defend the idiots that started all this? No way. Let them lie in the grave they dug."
"Horrible metaphor, love. And, as much as I hate to say it, we can't let the world get taken over."
"Why not? They've been practically begging for it to happen since Superman was first introduced. That's why the Green Lanterns had to step in and lay down the law, quite literally." She huffed. "Besides, the Realms won't be gunning for the world. They're looking for their child."
"And if they don't find the kid in perfect condition?"
"...I see you're point."
"Good! We're on the same page, then."
She sighed again. "How're we going to play this? Are we running interference?"
"No," he shook his head, "The only thing we can do is keep anyone from dying or attacking."
"Without Deadman to talk to the Realms?"
"Yep,"
"You realize how hard this is gonna be, right?"
"I'm gonna make Batsy pay me in hard liquor."
"Agreed."
***
The Justice League had set up a perimeter around the town of Amity Park, Illinois. They were a few miles out from the town, close enough to see it but far enough away as to not set off any panic. When Constantine and Zatanna arrived, they had made it very obvious that the town and it's citizens were probably very aware that they were there. They called another meeting, though only taking a few heroes away from watch. Zatanna was the one to explain things to them while Constantine kept tabs on the town in case it decided to move.
The heroes still weren't exactly sure what they meant by that.
Zatanna stood at the front of the heroes she'd pulled aside. Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman, The Flash, and Green Lantern stood in a half circle, all very clearly anxious to keep their eyes on the town. Too bad for them, this was her specialty, so she got to keep facing it while they turned their backs.
"They aren't going to listen to you guys," Zatanna said, "Like we tried to warn you earlier, their looking for a child that the US Government took from them."
"The one in the pictures?" The Flash asked.
"Yep," she affirmed, "His name's Phantom, like we said. He's this town's hero."
"I thought Robin said Red Huntress was the town's hero?" Aquaman wondered.
Zatanna pushed down the flare of anger with a deep breath. "Phantom has been operating for several months longer than Red Huntress. she is closer to being a hero while Phantom leans more towards being a vigilante."
"Is that why he doesn't stick around after his fights?" Superman tilted his head slightly in question.
"Yes," she glared, "Can I get back on topic, or are we wanting to waste even more time?" The heroes fell silent and she waited for a few seconds before continuing. "From what Deadman explained, Phantom is technically still a baby ghost because he's only been dead for about a year." She ignored the expressions on the heroes faces. "Not only that, but he's the favorite of several Ancient Beings. Think Primordials or Titans."
"Oh, dear," Wonder Woman whispered. Several had paled slightly.
Zatanna nodded. "Don't attack any of the Realms' people, not even in self defense. We're going to have to help them find Phantom, keep them from attacking the US Government, and keep the Government from attacking them."
"A bit late for that!" A new voice joined the group. They all startled, reaching for weapons and dropping into ready stances.
Above and slightly to the side of the group was a girl who looked to be in her late teens. She had teal-grey skin, a slight teal glow, and flaming teal hair tied in a high pony, bangs framing her face. Her eyes glowed the same radioactive green as Phantom's had in the picture, though less so. She was wearing black pants, a black crop-top, grey knee boots, and a single black elbow glove. There was a guitar strapped to her back that gave off a slight purple glow. Even from where the Justice League heroes were standing, they could feel heat radiating off of here.
"And you are?" Batman asked.
"Don't matter who I am, does it?" the girl sneered, "What matters is that you dickheads took one of ours." She very obviously assessed the small group, looking each person up and down with a frown on her face. "Phantom told me that this place had other heroes, so where were you?"
Superman blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Where were you?"
"I'm, uh, not quite sure what you mean."
"You're talking about when this place was catalyst for world threats, right?" Zatanna stepped forward.
The girl turned her full attention to the magician. "So, you knew?"
Zatanna nodded. "Me and my colleagues were keeping on eye on Amity Park after the rifts opened up last year."
The girl seemed to reassess the magician. "You're one of the ones Deadman told us about."
"You know Deadma?" Green Lantern asked. He was ginored.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Ember." She landed and held her hand out for a hand shake. "Deadman got the Council to agree to hold ourselves in Amity until the end of the day. After that, we move on our own."
Zatanna shook her hand. "I'm Zatanna. We're gonna find him."
Ember glared, tightening her grip, "You better. He's done more for this world than you heroes even know." She turned her glare on the others before flying back up. "And once he's back with us, where he belongs, we'll think about a cease fire." She left before anyone could get another word in.
Zatanna fell into a squat, her hands covering her face. "This is a nightmare," she whispered, "That definitely could've gone much better." She popped back up to her full height. "Well, you heard her. We've got 'til the end of the day to find Phanom."
The group shared looks, nodding at each other before separating to spread the word to everyone else
The first plan was the same one they had for every mission that needed quick recon done. Flash was sent out to get a location. Once he had one, they'd set off.
Part 1 Part 3
#Time Loop: Ghosts of the Present and Future#part 2#dcxdp#dc x dp#dcu#danny phantom#writing#my writing#justice league#justice league dark
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prompt: forced throuple au; Ghost decides that you and Johnny are his (part 2; ghoap x reader) masterlist
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The hard part is admitting to himself that he doesn’t know how to function on leave without Ghost’s voice in his ear.
Johnny’s two days into his annual leave when that stray thought crosses his brain. Out with chums even, packed into the booth of an old pub in his hometown, the leather well-worn and a match on the telly that he half watches while one of his mates goes up to the bar to order another round for them. In between his third and fourth pint of lukewarm mild, he thinks something like, wonder what Simon’s up to.
The thought comes and then keeps coming. Keeps cropping up when he least expects. At the pub (wonder what Simon’s up to), in line at the grocery store (wonder how Ghost takes his steak), drowsily puttering around the kitchen while making breakfast (no way he wears the mask at home), listening to some guy in front of him hack up a lung at the dry cleaner (Lt’d do his fuckin’ head in if he was here), and even in the shower with his head tipped back, rinsing out the suds (wonder if he’s got a girl tucked away at home).
Is it so unusual? Johnny can’t remember a time in his life when someone lived in his head night and day, but Ghost’s presence feels like an extension of his own these days. He’s cycled through girlfriends without a care in the world, without contemplating their existence for half as long, but they never cradled his life like a small bird in the palm of their hands and returned it safe and sound, did they?
Still, he feels it like a knot in his chest. Dreams about Ghost even; wakes up hot and hard, and scrubs his hand down the side of his face when he sits up in bed. Phantom memories of a body heavier than his weighing him down (just the duvet) and a thick hand curling around his dick (his own hand wrapped around his shaft, rubbing one out in his sleep).
He shakes it off, but it follows him out into the real world. Looking at the door of a coffee shop and thinking absentmindedly, Ghost would have to duck under that.
Johnny puts it out of his mind. As much as he’s able to, that is. Chalks it up to some kind of hero worship. He’s worked with superior officers before—plenty of times, hundreds of times—but there are few men of Ghost’s calibre, both in skillset and mystique. Not to mention the sheer size of the guy. And what is Johnny if not a moth to a flame?
Better not to ruminate. He casts the memory of seeing Ghost’s dick in the showers after their last mission (monstrous thing, uncut, pubes darker than the hair on his head, more than a mouthful—it’d give him lockjaw) out of his head. Doesn’t think about it. Laughs at a mate’s joke at the pub when he didn’t catch a word of it to mask the way he perked up at the sight of a wide-shoulder man until he turned around, giving Johnny a proper look at his face.
He’s not ready to think about it. Might never be able to really look at why he eats it up, why he struts around with his chin cocked just a bit higher than usual because he knows everyone else is watching him with equal parts envy and curiosity for being Ghost’s favourite.
Then, one day, he meets a girl.
Johnny’s not winning an award any time soon for world’s best son, but he knows a thing or two. The first thing being chocolates and the second being flowers. His sisters handle the rest; they fuss about the party, get a gift certificate to the spa, send out the invites—all that fun stuff. He’s sent off for the bare essentials. Practically kicked out of the house by his oldest sister—nearly brains himself on the asphalt and tugs his windbreaker on when it’s thrown out the door after him a second later, grumbling about being the errand boy.
He picks up a box of chocolates from the corner shop (not fancy enough, his sisters will probably bitch, but that’s a problem for later) before heading down the road to the florist. There’s a bench out front stacked with tin flower vases, the only spot of colour on a dreary spring morning. He spends a couple minutes chatting with the cashier and flirting a bit halfheartedly (he thinks maybe it’ll be worth it if it gets him a discount, even five percent off) until the florist comes out from the back.
“Jesus, who gave ye the right?” Johnny breathes, horse blinders on, vision narrowing on the object of desire coming out of the back in a linen apron and simple t-shirt underneath, scissors poking out of the front pocket.
“The right?” she repeats back, blinking.
“To leave the house lookin’ so fuckin’ gorgeous. Glad I wasn’t driving when I passed you by—woulda been in a twenty car pile up.”
She’s not impressed in the slightest. It’s thrilling. By that point, the cashier is long forgotten. Probably not the best impression he’s ever made, but he’s made worse ones. It’s not every day he comes across an angel. Hard to be polite in front of a real life miracle.
He wears her down over the week though, showing up each day for a new bouquet. His mam’s never liked him more, so at least there’s that. His sisters side-eye him whenever he ducks out of the house to head down the road to the florist’s, but even they know better than to bring it up and risk pissing off their mam. He interrogates her about flowers and her job, makes his presence unavoidable, a week long siege that ends with Johnny taking her out to dinner and then letting her take him to bed.
He wakes up nestled in her cozy apartment above the flower shop, stretching out and making himself right at home. When she trades in her linen apron for a terry cloth robe and stands expectantly by the door, Johnny just grins. Shows all of his teeth.
“Are ye just gonna use me and kick me out?” he pouts. Folds his hands behind his head and digs a foot into the sheets, trying to sink into the mattress. Little king in his castle.
“You know, you don’t have to pussyfoot around with me. Weren’t you just trying to get laid?” she asks, brow arched. The disbelief thick in her voice makes it clear what she thinks of him.
“No’ just some playboy, hen,” he scoffs. “I have feelings too.”
Her other eyebrow lifts. He’s tickled pink.
He plays the part well, he supposes. Lounges in bed and eats grapes all morning while she stares at him from the kitchen like he might dissipate at any moment. He’s used to leaving a false impression, like a lake that someone builds their house next to until years go by and someone says I think this was once a meteor.
When she comes back to bed around mid morning, Johnny wastes no time pulling her up onto the bed until she plants her cunt over his mouth and sinks down onto his waiting tongue.
Candy sweet pussy, he thinks blissfully, then says it out loud because he can never keep his mouth shut. It must tickle because she yelps and nearly pulls away from his face altogether, but he wrenches her back down, fingers digging into her ass cheeks a bit too forcefully. He’ll pay for that later.
In the aftermath, when she collapses beside him in bed and rests her head on his chest while he plays with her hair, he itches in his skin to message Ghost. It perplexes him. They never text, he and Ghost; they don’t call, they don’t write, they don’t email. For all intents and purposes, their relationship ends at the perimeter around base, dissolves to nothing. It’s not Ghost’s fault he trickles into Johnny’s dreams sometimes.
A week goes by. Calm the mind. He thinks of Ghost and his fingers tremble and the phone stays silent and he lets the thought go. Steady. Breathe in and out. His caryatid girl slips in and out of his sheets, hesitant always like he might leave. Johnny doesn’t know if she wants him to, wants to feel vindicated in her assumption, but of all her wants, that ranks the lowest in his mind.
He spirals deeper into it, infatuated. She’s sweet but snippy, candy sweet with a sour kick—everything he’s ever wanted in a girl. Ever unimpressed, watching him with a small, hidden smile, amused despite herself.
Johnny wonders if this is the universe waving its hand in front of his face. Yoohoo, missing something?
He looks pointedly away.
It’s new, but maybe he’s like every other military man in the world, unable to go with the flow, dissatisfied with seeing where things go. He needs instant gratification, everything now-now-now, the certainty of commitment—he spills blood with everyone he knows, so why would his girl be any different?
Returning back to base is harder this time around. The last day of his leave is an exercise in restraint, tempered only by her smile when he sees her off at the door to her apartment, reluctant to leave.
“C’mon, promise me you’ll call, hen,” Johnny mumbles into her mouth, catching her answer with a languid swipe of his tongue. His arms press her tight to his chest, digging his hands into her back pockets and giving a good squeeze, relishing in the way she squeaks. “How’m I gonna survive without ye, huh? They’re gonna have to jumpstart my heart after it gives out from missing ye so bad.”
“So dramatic. You have my number,” she says when he finally pulls back enough to let her speak.
“No, please, baby, please—promise me—”
“Oh my god, alright, fine—I’ll call. Now get going already.”
The drive back to base leaves him feeling bedraggled, lost. When he gets in, it’s straight to the barracks, an hour long nap before reporting to Price, dragging his feet the whole way over. Moping, for lack of a better word, until he rounds a corner and nearly collides with someone that stops him with a single hand on his shoulder.
When he looks up to eyes rimmed in black paint, the world lightens. His shoulders lift.
“Wipe that smirk off your face, Johnny.”
It takes Johnny awhile to bring her up with Ghost. Something keeps holding him back, choking him when he tries to say it outloud. He blames it on uncertainty (had to be sure she was the one, Lt, ye ken?) but he feels the truth at the core of him. When he does finally muster up the nerve to pass his phone to Ghost where her photo is front and centre, no mistaking his intentions, he waits on tenterhooks for a reaction.
Only breathes out when Ghost asks to meet her. He can do that.
“Aye, Lt. Just for you.”
#99% chance im gonna edit this to fuck before i post it on ao3 because im trying to properly balance the pov switch#also its not done yet#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#ghoap x reader#ghost/soap/reader#ghost x reader#soap x reader#ghost/reader#soap/reader
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Marvel Breaking the Fourth Wall
Only, he’s not. He’s talking to the Divine Twitch Chat, but just to be a little shit, he’ll talk to them on some Dora type of nonsense. They eat it up cause they don’t know what Dora is. They’re just happy they get to interact with the stream.
A great example of this was when Billy got kidnapped by Sivana for the 50 million time. He got out of his binds, transformed into Marvel, busted through the doors and knocked out some guards. He was then met with a decision. He could either go left or right. Right lead somewhere unknown, and left lead to an exit. Time to consult the chat!
Marvel: *talking in Dora/Amanda the Adventure voice* “Hmm… What do you think?” *Turns to a random direction as if he’s talking to someone* “Should we go left or right?”
Solomon: “I believe it would be wise to go left, Billy-”
Heracles and Achilles: “RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!”
Atlas: “No, stupidheads. That’s probably gonna lead him to robots.”
Mercury: “That’s exactly why we should go.”
Zeus: “I agree with Hermes.” *just wants to spite Atlas*
Marvel: “The votes are in! It looks like we’re going… right!” *starts walking right*
He in fact did run into a bunch of robots. But hey, at least he found Sivana. Back to jail he goes.
Also, someone recovered this footage from a security camera and they saw Marvel ask the question and just stand still in complete silence for a solid minute before saying the thing about the votes. They posted this online and he got called a schizo like twenty times over. Marvel was later brought in so Black Canary could have a little session with him.
Marvel: “Ms. Canary, I’m not crazy I swear.”
Black Canary: “Cap, I’m not saying that, but well, this footage suggests that you might have some… problems.”
Marvel: “But I don’t. Pinky promise. I was just talking to the gods in my head. That’s it.”
Black Canary: “Mhm. Mhm. I see. I see.” *scribbles down on notepad*
Marvel: *concerned* “What’re you writing down?”
Then, there was another incident where some guy tried robbing an old, homeless man that Billy knew. Marvel took him up to a building and let him dangle by his leg off the side of it. What could he say, the old man gave him a buck anytime he could. Billy’s loyal like that.
Marvel: *does the Dora/Amanda voice again* “Hmm… It seems we’re stuck with a decision.”
Heracles: “He’s doing the voice! He’s doing the voice!”
Marvel: “What do you think we should do?” *turns to no one again* “Should we drop him?”
Robber: “WHAT?” *stops flailing around*
Marvel: “Or should we turn him into the police?”
Zeus: “DROP HIM.”
Solomon: “Do NOT do that, Billy.”
Atlas: “I agree, drop him.”
Achilles: “Drop.”
Mercury: “Ooh! Ooh! Drop him, then catch him just when he’s about to hit the ground.”
Heracles: “I second that.”
Marvel: “Just kidding! This isn’t up for vote. Alley-oop!” *slings robber over his shoulder and flies to a police station*
Gods: “BOOOOOOOOOO”
The police report for this got leaked and now the residents of Fawcett got to know their lovable teddy bear hero dangled a man off the side of a building. Also, this is a recent thing by the way. Billy only started doing this about a couple weeks ago so all of the Fawcett citizens are so concerned because he never used to do this before. They’re all like, oh my God, is Cap going crazy? Point is, they’re worried.
One of their ways of showing they care that’s still fresh on Billy’s mind is when he was taking a dealer to the police station and the man offered him some of his stash because and he quotes:
Dealer: “Hey, man, you saved my kid brother from getting kidnapped. You’re good in my book. You gotta help people out especially if they help you.”
This stunned Billy a little if he was honest. He didn’t know if he should’ve been touched or offended. He was offered drugs, but I was as a token of appreciation. He’ll go with a little bit of both instead.
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During a patrol in Gotham one night, Red Robin comes across a strange sight.
A young woman stands over a crumpled body with a sling shot primed and ready, aimed a man with a rather large hand gun. It’s clear she’s protecting the woman who looks like she’s been hit over the head and had her bag nabbed, as it’s ripped and contents are spilled everywhere.
The girl sits shaking, she isn’t scared at all, standing strong with a shard of glass aimed at the man’s crotch.
Tim jumps down and disarms the man smoothly before turning to the young girl, who upon closer inspection seems to be around thirteen years old.
“Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head and stares at him for a moment with awe in his eyes before her eyes widen and she turns to the person behind her, “But she is! That guy was cornering her and I tried to help but he hit her and-“
“Alright, I understand. Would you like to help me get her to the ER a few blocks away?”
The girl nods with a determination Tim remembers seeing in Dick and Jason in their Robin days and he smiles.
He doesn’t ask her what her name is because side he knows he’ll follow up and find something to feel guilty about, but the girl seems to have her own plans.
She shows up a couple of days later, standing on a tall building with a cheap Robin outfit on.
Tim is confused before he drops down and she gives a big grin and mock salute, “How can I help?”
Tim smiled a little before shaking his head, “Taking the title of Robin, are you?”
She nods, now more bashful, “Well, I want to help people. I don’t want to fight exactly, but… well, sometimes you bats are too busy with the villains to notice the little guy and- bro to say you’re a bad hero-“
“You’re right, it’s okay. We can only do so much and sometimes preventing more damage being done saves more lives, but there will always be a cost.”
She smiles, bright orange, and impressively curly, hair getting in her eyes and sticking to the poor quality glue of her fake domino.
“I want to help. I… can help, please.”
Tim answers after a solid minute of silence, “What is your name?”
She frowns, “Aren’t I supposed to have a secret identity?”
He smiles in answer, “Yes, but I know what you look like and I can find out, I’m asking out of politeness.”
The girl looks like she could pout and Tim feels strangely old at the sight, even if he’s still got a few months before he can even legally drink.
“Carrie. Caroline to be specific.”
Tim smiles, “Well, Carrie, here’s the deal. I will meet you here or somewhere like here every night and until, and only until, you can land a hit on me will I agree to let you help.”
While Carrie doesn’t look pleased she nods, a clear sense of hope in her eyes even as she looks nervous.
She looses the first fight, and the second and third and fourth, but she gets better and better.
Tim doesn’t tell anyone about Carrie Kelly, nor does he tell her that he does end up doing a back ground check and finds two dead beat parents more focused on weed than their incredibly skilled daughter.
When she proves to be relentless in her desire to save lives he sends her to a teacher to help her stay hidden and safe. He’s not like Bruce, he doesn’t send her overseas to some dangerous people, but close by and to someone he trust to not hurt her nor tell anyone else about the strange young girl whose managed to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Selina Kyle is more than happy to take in the girl when she watches her sling shot fire crackers at muggers.
When Carrie comes back and meets Tim on a rooftop, she not only manages to hit him but knocks him off his feet.
Tim grins at her, pride filling his mind and making him understand Bruce just a little more.
But unlike Bruce, he isn’t throwing her into the fight at all.
Tim Drake is the one who pays for her school pills while her yippie parents refuse to work or spend money on her, and sends her real time footage of medical lectures in various collages across the country.
Carrie doesn’t become Robin, nor did she even wear that suit after the second night and he gave her a basic training outfit that properly covered her eyes and hair, but she does become something else.
She becomes Cardinal, the vigilante that swoops in to save civilians and provide the medical care that saves hundreds of people and allows the ambulances and hospitals to have a chance.
When she makes her debut the other bats worry about a new kid making bad choices, probably inspired by them, but Tim ignores it if only because he’s actually proud of her and trust her in a way he hasn’t trusted teammates in years.
After a year of this, a young girl asks for a meeting with Mister Tim Drake at his company and, purely so he wouldn’t have to do more pointless numbers, he lets her in after she passes the security check.
The girl who comes into his office is barely ten, cute little clips in her dark bob hair and a big book bag almost half her size behind her.
Tim recognised her instantly once he sees the bright yellow shoes she’s wearing.
This little girl, name Mia Mizoguchi, has been stalking him and Carrie for a few months now.
After he enrolled Carrie at Gotham Academy, the young girl nicknamed ‘Maps’ had been asking Carrie a lot of questions. Carrie had been good at avoiding incriminating answers, but had fallen for the younger girls clever trap as she casually spoke out infomation that could help with cases and Carrie delivered it back to Tim.
As soon as he realised that Maps had done exactly what he had done and figured out who Carrie was he was impressed. Because even if Carrie was new to the game, she had a skill for tricking people into looking away from her and had done well to stay low.
Maps had made the connection back to Tim, apparently.
Luckily, unlike Bruce, he wasn’t ignorant to their little stalker and actually knew her family from a few galas and charities. To be fair, Tim also wasn’t clouded by grief, but as he lets the girl explain how she totally doesn’t know who Red Robin is but if she did know who he was she would want him to know that a new drug trade route was actually being covered by a cotton candy company and she has over sixty pages worth of proof.
When he shows up to The Nest (named by Carrie) with Maps behind him, he finds Cardinal waiting with an excited gleam in her eyes.
Due to her being so young, Tim doesn’t allow Maps to go into the field until she’s the same age as both he and Carrie were, but she’s quick to show her worth taking over coms and doing an insanely detailed level of detective work that Tim can’t help but be a little jealous of.
Just like Carrie, who has been trying with Selina about only becoming Catgirl if Catwoman stops being a criminal for a few weeks now, he sends her to someone else for mentor ship.
Maps is a sweet girl, but she loves to talk and has a lot of friends who have most of the same interest, so he sends her to the one bat member he trust most.
Cassandra Cain immediately tells Tim that he has to adopt both of them and can’t quite understand why them both having living parents matters.
It’s Cass who gives Maps her vigilante name, Sparrow.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#dc#tim drake is red robin#tim drake is a menace#carrie kelly#mia mizoguchi#mia maps mizoguchi#maps#Caroline Kelly#Tim Drake adopts people like Batman#but he tries to do better#Selina kyle#cassandra cain#cat woman#catgirl#orphan#batgirl
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Wrote this today while I should've been working (don't tattle).
Submitting it for the approval of the Fuck It Friday Society. Thanks to @epiphainie for tagging me!
+
"So? Tell me about the hot pilot."
It takes only a second to scroll through the rows of photos until he finds the one he wants to show her, but instead of handing his phone over, he takes a moment to admire it. The post has nine photos in it and this is the fourth one in—it's by far his favorite out of all the others on the account. Considering how many contenders there are, that's really saying something.
Maddie pointedly clears her throat and Buck ducks his head with a sheepish laugh, because he knows he's being mean by keeping her waiting. If the tables were turned and she was holding out on him, he'd be ready to tackle her to get to the phone. Plus, he's already looked at the picture at least three hundred times over the last two days; it's not like he's going to miss anything. He's pretty sure he could draw it from memory.
Nervously licking his suddenly-dry bottom lip, he slides the phone across the counter to her, and she snatches it up like a winning lottery ticket, or Golden Grahams, which she used to hide from him when they were younger because he could house an entire box in a single sitting.
She draws in a surprised breath when she looks at the screen, and he takes it as his cue to round the island and crowd in behind her so he can peer at it from over her shoulder.
Whoever took the shot should get a Pulitzer. It was taken through the open door of a helicopter, perfectly framing the three people in the cockpit. There are two kids—a girl no more than ten years old wearing a headset and looking at the instrument panel, while the other kid has their back to the camera, showing the familiar logo of two hands holding each other on the back of their shirt—and then there's Tommy, who's half inside the opposite door and haloed by the light of the Harbor hangar, his gaze focused on whatever he's pointing at on the panel. His head is slightly turned, exposing the textbook-perfect right angle of his jawline, and his mouth is half open. But, unlike every picture where Buck looks like a dumbass with his mouth open wide enough to drive a truck through, Tommy looks handsome and competent, caught mid-explanation about manifold pressure or rotor RPMs or any of the other gauges that Buck looked up before he'd called for the Harbor tour.
"Buck," Maddie says, stunned. She opens her mouth like she's going to say something else, but then she closes it with an audible click.
"I know."
She spins around and smacks his arm, her grin threatening to consume her entire face. "Buck!"
"I know." He does know. He really does.
"Oh my god." Maddie turns back to the phone and swipes to see the other photos, but the only other one in the post with Tommy in it is a group shot. He stands in the back of a gaggle of kids with four of his teammates, taller than everyone else, and it's either the vivid blue of his flight suit or the magnetic force field that seems to hover around him all the time, but Buck's attention is drawn immediately to him. The first time he saw the photo, it took him a second to realize there were like twenty other people in it.
"Oh my god," Maddie says again.
Each of Tommy's hands are on the shoulders of two kids, and he's smiling so widely that his eyes are almost closed. He looks so good. He looks like he did when he glanced up from the menu as Buck approached the table—like anyone in the world could've shown up but he was thrilled it was Buck specifically. No one had ever looked at him like that before. Like he was the correct answer.
And that's a wrap on our annual flight rescue simulation! As always, huge thanks to the Los Angeles Boys & Girls Club (@labgc) for introducing us to the next generation of heroes. Can't wait to get up there with them again someday! #labgc #lafdharbor1
He blows out a breath. "I'm such an idiot."
"You're not an idiot. There's no way you could've anticipated Eddie showing up." Maddie swipes over to Tommy's full Instagram profile and starts tapping open photos at random. When she gets to another of Buck's favorites—the one of Tommy mid-laugh, sandwiched between a man and a woman in a bar booth with trivia sheets spread out on the table in front of them—she mutters, "Good lord."
Buck looks at the man and how he's shoved up against Tommy's side, and he swallows around a familiar sour crackle in his jaw. He'd told Tommy point blank that he can get jealous, but he's a little surprised by how much he wants to reach right into the screen and rip the poor guy out of the photo with his bare hands. He shouldn't be shocked, though; he did maim his best friend for the crime of having Tommy's attention, after all.
But that guy in the picture could've been Buck. If he hadn't been an asshole, he could've been the one sitting next to Tommy, pressed up against him and laughing, flushed with victory and good company and beer, filling out answers on the sheet and preening when Tommy turned an impressed smile on Buck for helping take their team to the final round because he knew things like what the fear of is flowers called and the world record for the longest hiccupping spree.
"I shouted to the entire restaurant that we were going to pick up hot chicks after dinner, Maddie," Buck says, and looks away from the photo where he isn't. "I might as well have paid someone to skywrite 'NO HOMO' above the Coliseum. So, yeah, I am an idiot for that."
She winces. "How'd he, uh, take that? Was he really mad?"
"Worse," he says miserably. "He was really nice."
Where his hand rests on the countertop next to her, Buck's fingers curl in to press against his palm, and the rest of his body wants to follow suit out of shame. He can't stop thinking about how quiet Tommy was after Eddie and Marisol left, how the confidence and charisma and razor-sharp wit had all grown dull and quiet from the time it took them to get up from their table and make their way to the street.
When Tommy cut the night short, he could have been awful about it. He could have yelled. He could've called Buck a homophobe, or chewed him out for wasting Tommy's time, or sneer that Buck would be better off watching the movie from the comfort of the closet. It would've been well within his right to do any of it, and Buck had been prepared for it.
He hadn't been prepared for Tommy to be kind.
"But it's not just that. I'm an idiot because… how did I not know? How do you miss something like this about yourself? Nine year olds are out there figuring it out with no problem, and meanwhile, I'm thirty-two and I had—I had no idea. I'm so stupid."
He bends over and drops his head onto the counter with a painful, yet somehow satisfying thunk.
Maddie places a hand between his shoulder blades. It's not too heavy, like she's holding him down, and it's not too light, like she doesn't know if her touch is welcome. It's just right. It always is. Even when she was a kid, she always knew how to hit the goldilocks zone when it came to comfort. His parents never came close.
"What if it were me?"
He tilts his head on the counter to look at the contemplative slash of her mouth. "What?"
"What if I were the one discovering this about myself?"
The question is soft and sweet, like how their backyard in Hershey used to fill up with hundreds of dandelions in the spring and they'd spend hours picking them and blowing the clocks everywhere, but the smile on her face is the sound of their mother shouting at them to stop because she thought the dandelions were an eyesore and they were basically planting more of them to come up in the fall.
"Would you call me stupid for not figuring it out sooner? Would you say, 'Maddie, you're pushing forty, how did you miss this?'"
Offended, Buck comes off the countertop so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. "What?! O-Of course not—"
"Then why is it okay when it's you?" She demands, voice trembling like she's physically pulling on the reins of her anger and it's fighting her, just like it did when he hitchhiked to Marysville with a group of boys and perforated both his ear drums jumping off the Rockville Bridge. "You don't get to call one of my favorite people stupid, okay? You're not. There's no time limit to these things, Buck. You just… you figure it out when you figure it out and not a second before, and I'd be saying the same thing if you were one of those nine year olds or if you were ninety."
Buck doesn't know what his face is doing, but Maddie takes one look at him, clucks her tongue in sympathy, and then wraps her arms around him. He presses into her embrace with a grateful exhale.
Clinging to Maddie, to the quiet, endless strength of her, is nothing new, and neither is the wave of sheer wonder and disbelief that nearly knocks him on his ass because somehow she's his sister. Out of everyone in the world he could've been saddled with, he got the best of the best. He has no idea what he did in a past life to have earned a place in her current one, but it must have been amazing.
"Thanks, Mads," he says quietly into her hair. When she first started dating Doug, she switched from the peppermint conditioner she loved to the floral stuff he preferred. Buck inhales a little and swallows tears upon getting a whiff of something sweet and minty.
She pulls back a little and pats his chest, smiling. "So, what's the plan?"
He blinks. "The plan for what?"
"For trying again," Maddie clarifies, pointedly, like she wants to call him dumb but can't because she just spent the last five minutes telling him he wasn't. "So you screwed up. Big deal. We all screw up. What are you going to do to fix it?"
"Uh, I-I don't think he's going to go for that, to be honest," Buck mutters, looking down at his phone.
Last night, standing in Miceli's foyer and practically leaving craters in the floor where he was bouncing excitedly on his heels, he'd texted Tommy to see if he was already seated. The last message Tommy sent him reads: Head toward the back. I'm in one of the side booths on the left. You can't miss me :-)
There hasn't been anything since.
After Tommy cheerfully knocked Buck's entire world off its axis and walked out the door with a grin and the promise of a date, Buck had paced his apartment like a caged tiger, feeling both too big and too small for his skin, jittery and restless. The fourth time he'd stopped in the middle of a room and started laughing for no reason, he conceded he might be losing his mind. He'd felt like the only thing keeping him from exploding or floating into the stratosphere was the fact he had a shift in the morning. He'd kept away from the windows just to be on the safe side.
You like men, he'd thought giddily to himself, over and over. You are attracted to men. A man asked you out on a date and you said yes because you want to go. A man kissed you tonight and you loved it. You didn't want to stop. You want him to do it again.
It was like he'd finally found the last missing piece to the Buck puzzle he'd been searching for as long as he could remember, and slotting it into place felt like skipping the 5.0 upgrade and going straight to a different operating system. Increased storage capacity. Longer battery life. A brand new product.
He'd swore to himself that he would be cool about it. He wouldn't be a clingy, needy mess and drive Tommy off before he was able to explore whatever this was. That lasted all of twenty minutes before he was texting Tommy with trembling thumbs to thank him for coming over and clearing the air, and then threw his phone across the room. He spent the next ten minutes fighting the urge to claw his own face off until he heard the ping of a new text message.
It said, Sorry for the delay I'm still driving. Thank YOU for your hospitality ;-)
Buck had to go stick his head in the fridge to cool down about the implications of that, but once he calmed down and unscrewed the manic grin from his face, they were off to the races.
The only times they weren't messaging each other were between the hours of 1am and 5:30am, or if they were on shift. Although Buck didn't exactly hold to that. He found ways to sneak off a text or twenty during calls when he could, and he had the sneaking suspicion Tommy was doing the same. The photo he got of the sun setting over LA, taken through a helicopter's windshield, was kind of a giveaway.
It's been 24 hours since he last heard the text tone he'd assigned to Tommy's contact file—a sort of whuff sound that reminds him a little of rotor blades spinning—and he feels like if he doesn't hear it soon, he's going to go insane.
This is absolutely not the first time he's fucked up a date and was ghosted afterwards, but it is the first time the subsequent radio silence has made him feel like his colon is tying itself into a square knot. And he hates it.
"So, you're just—giving up," Maddie says, incredulity turning the question into a statement of disbelief.
He looks away from the phone and shrugs. "I'm… being respectful. It's pretty obvious he doesn't want to hear from me. I wouldn't want to hear from me."
"You don't know what he wants," Maddie points out. "He said he didn't think you were ready for this, right? Maybe he's trying to be respectful too."
He doesn't want to get his hopes up, but it sounds so plausible when she says it. Especially because Tommy hasn't been anything but even-keeled and kind and compassionate, and Buck truly doesn't think any of it is a front. If Buck reached out, he knows Tommy would respond. If Buck started texting him again and never once brought up the kiss or their disaster of a date, if he boxed up the overwhelming need to be the center of Tommy's attention and shifted things back to the safety zone of friendship, Tommy would let him. They'd be okay.
The thought of it makes Buck want to punch something.
Maddie peers up at him with a sly tilt to her mouth, but instead of calling him on whatever she sees on his face, she simply says, "But I do think keeping this from Eddie is twisting you up a bit. Maybe you need to jump that hurdle before you can move forward."
He clicks his tongue and gives a reluctant nod, because she's right. As usual. "H-How do I tell him that I'm… you know."
"Okay," she says with a falsely bright smile and wide eyes, her tone needling. "If you can't even say it out loud, then maybe you shouldn't—"
"That I like men, Maddie, god," he whines, face hot. "You're so mean to me. Jesus, do you treat Chim like this?"
"Only when he asks really nicely," she says horrifyingly.
He sticks his fingers in his ears and starts shouting, "LA LA LA!"
Maddie cracks up, then gives his chest a conciliatory pat. Annoyed, he shrugs her off, which makes her laugh harder. "I'm your sister, doofus. I'm contractually obligated to piss you off until you do what I want sometimes. Didn't you read the handbook?"
Which makes him duck his head and laugh a little. "The handbook" was a running joke they had when they were kids about what siblings were and weren't allowed to do. He hasn't thought of the handbook since the whole thing with Doug, when he realized Maddie had been taken and a tiny voice in the back of the mind whispered, "According to the handbook, you're allowed to hunt him down like a dog and kill him."
Sighing, he leans into her and nods. "I know. I know I need to talk to Eddie. I-I just wish I had some kind of guarantee he's not going to—that nothing's gonna change when he finds out."
Leaning into him right back, Maddie promises, "If it does, I'll beat him up."
"Yeah?" He smiles, a little pleased by the thought. He wants to tell Tommy about it. But he can't. Not yet. "That in the handbook?"
"Page 53," she says, and hugs him.
#i need more buckley sibs interaction almost as much as i need more bucktommy#bucktommy#buckley siblings#maddie han#evan buckley#rc's 911 fics
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 03. BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER
a/n: we are getting down to the nitty and gritty of this man's pain. and he's finally starting to the accept the fact that he has to talk about what happened to him. honestly out of all the chapters this one might be my favorite. solely for the soft vibes i tried to shove into what is already a very angsty story. also somehow wade weaseled his way further into this chapter than i intended him to. so enjoy the humor i've tried to add throughout. (i am reposting this since it didn't show up in the tags yesterday.)
summary: to open up was like taking a knife to a steel door. he never saw the use in letting someone in. but dinner spent in your company and conversations over wine and whiskey is where things begin to take a turn.
word count: 8.3k+ (i don't even know how tf that happened.)
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: partially explicit scene, angst by the bucket load, vulnerable and emotional logan, grief, trauma, heartache, fluff, domestic vibes, alcohol consumption, wade breaking the fourth wall, wade being a shit wingman, the beginnings of something more.
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Blood poured over his hands and soaked into the ground below. The warmth of it coated his senses, dug into the grooves and lines of his palms. He swore he felt it down to his bones. Now permanently mixed with a version of him long forgotten—the man who used to smile.
Their shouts of pain rendered him immobile. Useless to help them, useless to save their lives. Useless. Useless. Useless. He fought against the restraints, the invisible shackles put there by his own hands. Whether to stop him from going or to keep him from harm—he'd never know—but he battled regardless. With a snarl, he felt them snap, his claws sliding free in all their familiarity. A weapon of destruction unable to be used for salvation.
When he began to run he felt it. The piercing echo of her. The power she emanated as they took her life, brought her to the brink of death. He felt her voice punch through his chest—puncturing him in his heart. She screamed his name with her final breath. Called out for his help; for him to save them all.
He could almost see her in his mind, the horror that befell a school of such powerful people. And he loathed himself for breathing. For living after they were taken so quickly from him.
His family. His home.
What once existed would no longer return. That alone broke him further than their deaths. The knowledge that his world—his universe—would be without their heroes. So much of their worth had been given to humanity. Only to be stripped of their lives within the blink of an eye.
And he couldn't save them. He could barely stand on his own two feet without stumbling.
"Logan!" The scream split along his skull, rupturing veins that healed far too quickly for his liking.
What the fuck was the point of his abilities if he couldn't put them to use? If he couldn't do the one thing they counted on him for.
Their blood stuck to him, burrowing into skin that would never scar. He'd never have proof of the wounds that rested along his heart. Forever damned to carry the weight of his own failure—the guilt that ate him alive. For what? To tell the story he could barely stomach himself? What was his life to the lives of those who meant so much more?
Why did he have to fucking live?
He stood on the doorstep. Death stained the walls, pierced the air with its pungent copper tang. He keeled over at the bushes, all the alcohol he'd consumed expelling itself from his body at the sight. His family was dead. His family was dead and he couldn't join them. He couldn't fucking die.
What once felt like a gift—eternity to find these people who loved him—now rang true with the only word that could make sense. Curse. His curse.
"No," he gasped, eyes bleary with tears as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted through the broken down door.
His claws came free, expecting a fight. Only to be met with silence. An eerie echo of nothing.
No laughter, no life, no chatter of students.
Nothing.
The breath ripped from his lungs as a blaring horn spilled in through the apartment's open window. In an attempt to get some cool air, he pushed the couch closer to what airflow there was. The only downside was hearing everything as he slept. Each little noise and loud mouthed fucker as they wandered the rather empty street. He wanted to leave—move to a better spot where humanity was sparse—but the pull of you across the street kept him there.
"Fuck," he grunted, eyes blinking away the nightmare that tore at his psyche.
The bottle of whiskey underneath the kitchen cabinet called his name. Offering a respite against the horrors he couldn't run from. And with a pained groan, he stumbled towards it—grabbing his coffee mug from the counter. The amber liquid felt bitter against the back of his throat. A familiar burn he welcomed.
He may not be able to stay injured, but this he could have. The darkness at the end of the bottle. The silence he found in collapsing drunk against the couch.
The streetlight outside lit the area filled with trash and the few people sleeping in darkened alleys. If he listened hard enough he could hear their heartbeats. Smell the pungent scent of the city as it seeped through the window. He could feel the thrum of New York beneath his feet—unfamiliar in its nature but home nonetheless.
The sight of a light flicking on grasped his attention—a glimpse of you staggering to the kitchen for a glass of water clear through your window. You should really get curtains, or blinds. He'd help install them for you. But then he'd never get this again. A small insight into your life, a peek into what he left behind a day ago.
Your lips against his still seared through his body—your moans and want for more left him breathless. And he had to go and fuck it up. Just as he did with everything in his life. He ruined the good. Corrupted the innocent.
Doing the same to you felt unfathomable—painful.
But how could he stop?
When you were catching his gaze in the window. Your glass of water was forgotten and the blanket dropped to the leather chair behind you. He left the bottle on the floor by the couch, his empty mug beside it as you grabbed for something. Logan yearned to hear your voice. To apologize for how he left things. But saying sorry never came easy and he found that keeping you at a distance was much safer than what he actually wanted.
The ringing on his phone broke his penetrating gaze. He reached for it quickly, pressing it to his ear as you brought your phone to yours. A breath was all that echoed through the small speaker—soft and warm. He swore he could feel it against his cheek. Hear the echo of your heart pounding beneath his.
"Can't sleep?" you uttered, finally putting his mind at ease. He exhaled a deep breath—hearing it fill your ears as warmth trailed down your spine.
"Nightmares."
You watched him stand still as stone. His fingers gripped the phone for assurance. A sense of stability from a past that had already cracked him in half. The sorrow in his eyes practically bled through the streets. Lapping at your feet like the waves on a shore. And in an act so unlike yourself, you took a step forward. You stood in his grief and offered to drag him to the sand—gave him hope that this world might treat him differently.
Logan wouldn't save himself because he believed he deserved it.
He'd save himself because he knew you deserved a better man.
"Do they happen often?"
The soft echo of your voice tinged with sleep set his mind at ease. For the first time that night he felt himself breathe properly. He could taste the sweetness in the air, the heat that clung to his skin held traces of you when you started to open your window.
Leaving you at your door suddenly felt like the stupidest decision he'd ever made. But the fear is what kept him at a safe distance. He couldn't hurt you here in this shitty apartment. He couldn't destroy what good you held in your heart standing here at an open window.
"Every night," he rasped. His hand clenched, the bones of his knuckles shifting as silver began to peek through the pierced skin.
He knew you could see it. He heard your heart speed up through the phone. And with a ragged sigh, he retracted them forcefully—hiding the beast within to present you with the man beyond.
"You don't have to hide them from me." If you turned, you'd see the punctures in your door you tried to hide with duct tape. The claws that came free because of your touch—your kiss.
They should have scared you.
Logan almost wished they had.
"You don't want to see that part of me honey," he muttered, watching as you stood closer to the ledge—your hand pressed to the chipped wood. "It's not all sunshine and rainbows."
You laughed and he felt it down his spine. "No. I think that's only in Wade's mind."
"Don't say that fucker's name please," he groaned. "Not while I have you here."
"Did I touch a nerve? Wolverine?"
Your smile deepened, mischief practically dripping from your words. Yet Logan couldn't help fixating on the way his title sounded off your tongue. The hero name he loathed for so long suddenly made his heart flip. He gripped the phone tight enough until he heard a faint crackling sound—his body going taut at the thought of you saying it under different circumstances.
Moving past the subject was all he could do. All he wanted to do.
"Why are you up bub?"
You sighed, leaning against the window frame. "Restless. Too much energy from the day."
"Not too much moving in the archives huh?"
"I'll have you know I walk constantly. It's a very demanding job."
He snorted. "Down to the end of the bookshelves and back?"
"Shut up." Your laughter echoed across the street and it nearly startled him how normal he felt. How human. "I can guarantee my job is a lot more work than yours."
"You're right. Saving the universe is nothin' when it comes to books."
"I'm going to hang up."
"Don't. I'll stop." Despite his serious tone, he didn't try to stop the chuckle you felt strike against your heart. The husk of its deep nature.
The memory of his touch still rang clear in your mind. How his lips molded against yours, his body firm and hot beneath your touch. You weren't restless because of work. In fact you felt the pain in your feet begin to spread up your calves the longer you stood there. You couldn't sleep because of him. Too busy replaying that moment to find time in your schedule to sleep.
"Logan." His gaze fell serious at the soft murmur of his name. "Tell me about your dream."
He bit back the urge to push you away, to claim he was fine. That nothing happened and acknowledging it wouldn't save him from himself. But that's not what you were trying to accomplish, and he knew that. He could see it clearly in front of his face. But he was a man hardened by the nature of silence—of ignoring his pain until it eventually withered and died inside him.
Changing that wasn't a battle he'd win tonight. Nor tomorrow.
He sighed, seeing how you fought back a yawn. "Not tonight honey."
"Why–"
"I will." Your breath echoed loudly in his head. He wished he could feel it. "I'll tell you everything. Just not tonight."
Your finger traced the silhouette of him against the glass. "When?"
"I don't know." He imagined your touch was against his skin, pictured how you'd trace the lines of his muscles. How you'd lick along his veins for a taste of him on your tongue. "Tell me about your day."
"That's boring," you groaned.
"Not to me bub. I like history." He smiled. "I used to teach it."
"Fuck off. Did you really?" You perked up within seconds, eyes alight as they were the other night. And Logan felt himself get dragged in a bit deeper. He knew he was fucked the second he saw you, but now...there was no stopping the inevitability of you. "I guess I learn something new every day. James."
He growled, low and hungry—pleasure filling his stomach. "Don't start somethin' you can't finish honey."
Silence filled the air and Logan felt the doubt pull at his nerves. He watched you lean into the glass, your scent filtering through the warm air. Sharp and heady. Darker than your usual honeyed sweetness; the taste of it spread along his tongue—shivers rolling down his back. You wanted him. No fuck that.
You needed him.
"And if I want to," you breathed, trepidation and hope overlapping in your words. "Finish this."
He bared his teeth in a grin that felt feral—as if he could taste your flesh. "We will," he stated with such severity. A promise lined in truth for once. "Now go on. Tell me about your day."
He awoke to the sounds of clashing pots and pans being tossed on the stove—the incessant beep of the coffee machine blaring off every thin wall. And Wade singing loudly—and horribly—to some fucking pop song from the eighties Logan would learn the name of against his will. He groaned, slamming his head back against the couch in the hopes that this was all a dream.
If he wished hard enough maybe he'd wake up to silence.
Or to you.
"Good morning peanut!" Wade's voice shouted, another bang sounding off behind him. "I've got coffee, Canadian bacon, and the final answer for what came first—the chicken or the egg."
Logan longed to stab himself in the skull. This quick healing factor became a fucking pain in the ass at the worst of times. He staggered into the kitchen, immediately wishing he'd drank the entire bottle of whiskey last night at the sight of Wade in a pair of white underwear and nothing else.
"What the fuck." He shut his eyes, reaching blindly for a mug and the coffee pot.
"Yeah..." Wade slammed the pan on the stove, a now broken yolk spilling over the edge. "Laundry day and Al called dibs on the top load. Just call me Risky Business."
Logan's sigh was ragged, beyond exhausted as he gulped down the first dose of searing coffee. "He wore a shirt in that fucking movie."
"Lookie here! Someone is up to date on their Tom Cruise movies. Don't tell me you're a Top Gun fan honey badger because I have some fucking news for you. We topped them for highest grossing movie of all time." Wade smiled as the destroyed egg slid onto a chipped plate. "Financially topped. Personally, I don't think scientology allows Tom Cruise to fuck anymore."
"I'm not listenin' to your fuckin' bullshit," he grunted, pouring another cup.
The charred egg was slid his way. "Aren't you gonna ask me?"
"Ask you what?"
Talking this early in the morning made the veins in his throat strain—his grip on the mug nearly cracking the porcelain. In times like this Logan felt the overwhelming need to throw his roommate out the fucking window.
If only to get thirty seconds of hearing him scream on the way down.
"What came first."
He moved to make another pot of coffee, ignoring the chatter that fell from Wade's mouth. In order to even feel coherent enough to make sense of it, he'd need four more cups. Or enough to bathe in if the morning didn't calm down. The sun blinded him as he turned to glance out the window; the air stale and hot choked his senses. He'd never felt this overstimulated before—this out of place.
"You look like you've seen better days in a horror movie. Up having late night phone sex?" Wade grinned and leaned across the counter—his head in his hand and love in his eyes. "Tell me about it, stud? Tell me more, tell me more. Did you get very far?"
"Oh god," Logan groaned, slamming the coffee pot back into place. "Can you shut the fuck up for once? I'm begging you."
"Did you beg her?"
His claws pressed to Wade's smug face—blood spilling against his cheek. "I will cut your fuckin' mouth off."
"I just wanna know why you're waiting so long to give her the Hugh Jackman."
"The what?" he growled, heat blistering against his face.
"Ya know." The crude gesture to his groin had him digging his claws directly into Wade's cheek. But even then he mumbled around the metal piercing his skin. "The package. The full shebang. Rock her like a hurricane—or whatever the fuck that German band was talking about. Cause I sure know she's aching for it."
"Don't fucking talk about her like that."
Wade smiled until his cheek sliced down to his mouth. The sight was disgusting enough for Logan to forgo wanting breakfast. And lunch. And dinner at that.
"You don't believe me! HA! Let me tell you, you're pretty but there's nothing going on up there." A tap on Logan's forehead forced the claws to sink just a bit deeper. "That sweet angel across the street is ready to save that horse and ride you instead cowboy. All. Night. Long."
"You don't know what you're talking about." Yet even as he said the words he felt the lie stick to the back of his throat.
Last night's conversation was proof enough that Wade was telling the truth. Even Logan could fucking see what was right in front of him. Someone beautiful, someone smart. Someone...he wasn't worthy of. If he combined all those factors he only came up with one conclusion. The longer he stayed away from you, the better you'd wind up being.
The safer you'd stay if he wasn't constantly shoving his way into your life.
The loud sigh from Wade's healing mouth shoved another wave of guilt into Logan's stomach. "Look. Ignore it all you want, but sooner or later you're gonna wind up with only your hand for some company and she'll find someone who actually wants to be with her."
Wade was right. For once.
What Logan didn't expect was the anger he felt at the visual of you finding someone else. The rage that nearly overwhelmed him. That's how it should be. You with someone better, a man who actually gave you a chance at a relationship. One that wasn't doomed from the very start. He let the thought simmer, chewed on it for as long as he could.
And not a minute later came to the answer he'd been looking for.
Logan would rip apart any other man without hesitation if they came into your life.
This wasn't a fling. He'd known that on his Earth and knew it now. He clawed his way out of a grave once to get back to you. And he would do it again and again and again. As many times as it took to make sure he got a glimpse of your smile, felt the love in your touch.
"Grab your shit we've got somewhere to be," he grumbled, shoving the burned egg in his mouth and washing it down with fresh black coffee to kill the taste.
"Yes! Now there's the Wolverine I know." Wade shouted, pumping his fist in the air. Logan couldn't tell if he was being vulgar or not.
"Let's go bang your girl!" A snarl ripped through his throat, blood splattering on his bare chest as he pinned Wade to the wall—his claws embedded in the man's heart. "Or you bang her and I quietly stay at home with the window open to serenade you two with the sensual sounds of Marvin Gaye."
He grinned, eyes flashing over Logan's shoulder. "Directly from Sam Wilson's playlist if you know what I'm getting at Marvel fuckers."
On days where people were stuck at work and students infiltrated the library above, you found the solace of the archives to be everything you needed. For an hour you'd been placing books in their correct spots, labeling boxes to be housed somewhere new, and theorizing where you went wrong the other night when Logan left.
You didn't want to let the disappointment get to you. Nor should you. The phone conversation last night clarified enough for you to know him leaving wasn't your fault. It wasn't due to your kiss or even because he didn't want to be there. He simply hadn't healed from what his world did to him. Whatever Wade mentioned to you in a ramble of semi-seriousness gave you enough of a picture to know what that might have been.
No matter how much you wanted to help him; to make him see that you weren't scared of what he had to give. This wasn't your war.
Logan made sure you understood that.
That still didn't stop the swell of dismay at his actions. The belief that you weren't good enough to hear his story began to eat you alive the longer he pushed it off. Each comment came tinged with pain you'd never be privy to. Agony he wanted to endure alone.
You would give him the space he needed—the time that was required in order to heal from wounds you couldn't see. They were there. Dug into the shape of his heart—carved into the metal of his bones—but Logan wouldn't allow you to bear witness to that. To a broken side of a man who wanted to be better. If only he knew he didn't have to be for you to ache for him.
The thought of him alone left your heart twisting in your chest and stomach fluttering.
You slid another book into the correct spot, silence echoing like a void that went on for miles. Only for the ring of your phone to shatter it like glass. You scrambled for the device in your purse, breath filling your lungs at the sight of his name as it flashed across your screen.
Maybe this made you seem desperate—a type of clingy that would make any other man run. You couldn't find it in yourself to give a shit.
"Logan," you said—his name leaving your mouth in a breathy manner you regret within moments.
"Oh shit girl you've got it bad."
The pounding of your heart jumped at the loud echo of Wade's voice blasting through the small speaker. "Wade?"
"The one and holy." To say you were perplexed felt like an understatement. But before you could spill the millions of questions on your tongue, Wade kept going. "Hey! What kind of wood do you prefer?"
A loud rumble of an engine blared in the background—killing your ears. "What?"
"Oh right fuck me. Silly question. There's twelve thousand words already written about what type of wood you prefer." He laughed as the sound came again. "I'm talking the tree kind. Got a preference for scents?"
"She's not gonna be able to smell it you dumb fuck!" Logan shouted. You heard an audible screech before a loud rustle had you pulling the phone from your ear with a groan. "Honey?"
You smiled, walking towards the part of the room that didn't echo with your voice. "I'm scared to ask what you guys are doing today."
"Oh," he chuckled. You wished he'd bought a better phone, longing to see each expression that crossed his face. "I owe you a door."
That kiss reemerged in your memory once more. Burning through your body in quick rapid strokes. As if Logan was fanning the flames of something stronger—a fire that you wouldn't be able to control. You imagined what he looked like at this moment, if he still wore the exhausted look of grief from last night. Or if he'd covered it with a mask of annoyance due to Wade.
"I can just call the building manager to fix it." You put it on your list of things to do today already, but the idea of seeing Logan again was too tempting to pass up.
He huffed, falling silent. Wade's voice shouting about the Lorax became all you heard for a brief moment—Logan no doubt figuring out what he could say to fix this. The glimpse of him last night had set your teeth on edge in a way you'd never experienced before. You felt you could sink your canines into the tension and rip it to shreds with ease.
"Where I come from it's only right to fix what I broke."
What he broke.
This wasn't about the door. You could see it clearly in the pained way he spoke his words—each one more clear than the last. Leaving you in a rush with no fucking explanation left him worried that you weren't going to be around if he kept pushing you away. You were something good—a light he sought in the darkness he found himself in—and messing up this chance wasn't going to happen twice.
He'd done this before. He pushed those he loved away.
Doing the same with you only made his chest echo with the hollow emptiness that he'd grown tired of feeling.
"You can fix my door under one condition," you said, effectively breaking the silence.
"Anythin'."
The flutter in your chest felt lethal when he spoke to you like this; open and willing to bend where you wanted him to go. A man had never given you this before. The attention, the knowledge that he wanted all of you. Not just sex, or meaningless conversations. He wanted every piece you were open to sharing—every dark crevice and thought you felt embarrassed about.
You only wished he'd understand you wanted the exact same thing from him.
"Dinner. My place. Seven p.m."
Fuck what you wouldn't give to see his smile as he let out a sigh of relief. "I won't be late."
You smiled, worrying your lip between your teeth—that familiar gooey warmth now back in your chest. "You better not be."
"I've got great timing honey. Got nothin' to worry about."
Bullshit. You nearly said it, but a loud shuffle and a few bitten off curse words—mainly growled on Logan's end—cut your conversation short. A triumphant laugh you could only figure to be Wade's pierced your eardrum as the phone was unwillingly handed off once again.
"I just want to let you know I've got money on whether or not he nails you tonight. So don't let me down cupcake."
"You're betting on this?" you exclaimed, loud enough to hear your voice bounce off the walls and echo back to where your supervisor was no doubt sitting.
"Of course. I'm not one to turn down the sleazy art of gambling." He sighed wistfully. You'd never wanted to punch someone more in this moment; suddenly aware that this is how Logan must feel every day of his life. "Besides if you heard the sounds that came out of our shower this afternoon. Oh ho ho. Something tells me that he was letting off some Steam Boat Willy to the thought of his late night phone buddy."
Disgust at Wade's words was rapidly overshadowed by the thought of Logan in the shower. Naked and desperate to find some release after your conversation last night. To say you hadn't pictured what he'd look like hard and aching from your touch would be a lie. But actually knowing that's what happened left you winded.
Your chest heaved as your body grew warm—the image of him with his hand around his cock, his head thrown back in pleasure, almost made your knees give out.
"Your thinkin' about it huh?" The overconfidence in Wade's voice snapped you back to reality within seconds.
"Shut up."
"Got ya red handed angel."
With a roll of your eyes, you made to head back to your work—Wade's words only served to fluster you more than you wanted. "Don't piss him off too much okay Wilson?"
His laughter nearly appeased you as the piercing sound of a saw went off again. The both of them must have ventured to a warehouse to find materials. You wanted to confirm your thoughts when Wade did it for you. As if he could hear you loud and clear.
"Who knew our man had lumberjack experience?" He sighed dreamily, a shout of what you guessed was Logan saying fuck off filtering through. "God it's like watching X-Men Origins Wolverine. Back when his hair screamed Staying Alive and I went by the name Billy Butcherson."
A cough from behind you gave enough notice that you had in fact been caught by your boss—her glare burning through the back of your skull. The short break you were allotted passed five minutes ago. Normally you'd be fighting your way to the end of the day. Today though...you felt that delicious bite of excitement at knowing you'd be spending tonight with Logan.
"I've got to go. But Wade..."
"Yeah?"
"Take a picture for me will you?"
"Already done. Got my phone set to burst. Which is what Logan's gonna do tonight instead of tainting our shower walls–" Logan's roar of I'll fuckin' kill you came seconds before you heard a thwack overlapped with Wade's high shriek.
The line went dead instantly.
The elevator wasn't moving fast enough for your liking—each flash of a floor passed sent another wave of nerves through your body. Work dragged on longer than you expected. And the groceries you picked up on the way didn't feel like enough to make a meal grand enough for a night like tonight. You tried to destress by saying he wasn't expecting much. This wasn't even a date.
That is until you realized...that's exactly what this was.
A date that felt long overdue.
You hadn't known Logan long enough to pursue a relationship as deep as this, but that's where things got fuzzy. He knew you. Or a version of you that felt entirely different to the person you were now. And maybe that's where the security that this would last came through. The knowledge that no matter what happened, Logan was in this for the long haul.
This wasn't temporary.
A creak of the doors opening didn't deter you from digging through your mountain of thoughts. Each one more worrisome than the last. You should be terrified that this was it. The future had already been written and Logan was at the end of the road. That alone would be reason enough to turn tail and run.
Then you turned the corner leading directly down your hallway.
Logan stood leaning against the wall, a lit cigar in his mouth, smoke trailing past his lips, and a heavy wooden door placed directly beside him. A toolbox that looked to have seen better days sat by his feet. A bouquet of honeysuckle and peonies placed directly on top—wrapped in brown paper with a yellow and blue bow.
Whatever fear might have lingered in your body dissipated when his gaze found yours and his lips pulled into a smile.
"You're early," you said—desperate to catch your breath. The scent of his cigar lingered on your senses, mixing with the leather of his jacket.
Suddenly Wade's words from earlier felt a lot more real than you expected. He showed up dressed casually. Jeans, flannel, the familiar dog tags strung around his neck. Yet whatever transpired the night before came rushing back with the promise of more.
This was a date. But whether it would lead to something else you'd leave entirely up to him.
"I told ya I had great timing honey."
Heat trailed down your body where his eyes followed. "I didn't believe you."
"I know."
The claw marks on your door brought a flustered smile to your face. As if to say you were okay with them staying. You wanted them to stay. Logan's eyes darkened at the sight, a flash of something worse taking hold of his mind as you pushed it open.
You longed for him to tell you the truth. He wouldn't either way. But the hope still remained—lingering on the edges of your heart.
"Easy enough to fix," he muttered, reaching for his tools—the bouquet of flowers gripped tightly in his large palm.
"I didn't know what exactly to get." He stood in your living room, eyes trained on the window. Finally he was on the other side—in your home—and yet he found he didn't belong here. "Do you have a preference?"
He sucked in another drag from the cigar before pulling it free—stamping it out on his palm as you watched. A heady wanton look crossed your features. You doused it quickly in favor of unpacking the groceries. He made sure to store it away for a later time. One that didn't feel dragged by the weight of his own thoughts.
"I'm not picky."
You nodded. "Feel free to use whatever's useful. I don't have tools though."
"I came prepared bub." He lifted the box with a smile and suddenly recalled that he bought you flowers. Much to Wade's annoying comments about this being a first date. Logan wouldn't push you in any direction you felt uncomfortable going towards. But in an irritating turn of events, Wade was right. Twice. "These are for you."
The smile on your face was worth every dollar and excruciating minute spent picking out what went with what. He reminded himself to thank Wade. Even if it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"They're beautiful." The delicate white lay atop pink flowers that filled your senses. An aroma you'd never known could work so well together. "Why these?"
A touch of crimson began to tint the tops of his ears as he let out a breath. "They're uh..." He coughed. "The day we met I said somethin' kinda awkward."
"I smelled different."
"Yeah." Logan wanted to bury himself six feet under at the teasing glint in your eyes. "That's how you smell. To me. Like honey and flowers."
There had to be an explanation for the way your heart split down the center—as if to offer him one half. To give him a part of yourself that once didn't belong to him. But that's where you were wrong. Even in a different universe, he would find you. You were once everything to him; the person he'd go through hell for. That fact never changed. Even if you did.
You wanted to spill every emotion, every truth about how your heart already longed for him in ways that left you reeling. But Logan wasn't a man to speak longer than he had to. And before you finally gained the courage to open your mouth, he was stepping back into the hallway. His hands busy with a project and mind eons away.
Dinner was simple to cook knowing he'd eat whatever you made. Pasta, some wine, and an old bottle of whiskey a friend of yours bought sat on the table as he put the final touches on the door. You'd spent the time at the stove combing over every word spoken. Every minute touch and fleeting look. As he worked effortlessly on setting your new door in place.
A dark honeyed wood with grooves throughout that almost resembled the small panes of a window. The quality was stunning. Beyond anything you'd seen before.
You wanted to prod and ask where he learned to do this. But the sight of him slightly sweaty, flannel tossed into his toolbox, and arms on display when he carried the door to its spot, left you dazed. Each movement caused the muscles beneath his skin to ripple—face screwed in a look of concentration while the sound of the drill echoed off the hallway walls.
For a moment you forgot dinner was cooking as you practically ogled his form. That familiar flame burned through your body when his gaze met yours and a smile crossed his lips.
Logan could feel your eyes on him—the aching burn of your gaze now seared into the bare skin of his arms and shoulders. And he fought himself to keep going. To ignore your now heady scent—the way your heart sped up with each shift of his body—and finish what he started. If he was being honest, which he rarely was with himself, he put on a show for you.
You liked him.
He just wanted to reaffirm that fact once in a while.
The smell of slightly burnt garlic had him biting back a smile as you rushed to fix what his distraction caused. His ego swelled. Heart pumping with a sense of pride the second he caught you flustered with your head bowed in the kitchen.
"Smells delicious honey," he said, testing the lock on the door a few times until he felt satisfied with his work.
"It's not much." You popped open the two types of alcohol, pouring a generous helping of wine in your glass. He fixed himself his own whiskey. "Something my sister taught me when I was in college. She believed if there was nothing else to cook, pasta was always the correct answer."
"Smart woman."
You pushed the plate his way and caught the grin he hid at the small act of domesticity. What began as a nerve-wracking date became an insight into what your future with him might look like. Dinner at a tiny kitchen table, his jacket draped over one chair, the scent of flowers twining together with the faint traces of his cigar.
A life that felt perfect enough to keep forever.
"I hope you know Wade's betting on tonight," you said, pouring another glass of wine.
You were settled next to him on the couch, dinner resting full and warm in your stomachs. The alcohol tasted sweeter on your tongue compared to an hour ago. He lounged with his legs spread, glass balanced in one hand. A lazy look of satisfaction in his hazel eyes.
Logan had never felt this comfortable. Soothed by the scent of you beside him, the whiskey on his tongue, and the sight of you with your legs curled beneath you. The red wine made you smile more, laugh easier. He noticed how you bloomed before him, light shimmering between small jokes and half assed teases.
All his life he wondered what home would truly feel like. What would having a place be? And this...you beside him with an endless night stretched before you, gave him the answer.
Home felt like you.
He groaned, head falling against the back of your couch. "He's a lucky fucker with that can't die bullshit. What's the bet?"
Your eyes dragged to the door—tracing the carved marks as his hand hesitated to settle on your thigh. "That you'd and I quote nail me."
"What?" he spit.
The laugh that bubbled to the surface echoed with the heady effects of too much wine. "I hate to break it to Wade. But I don't have sex on the first date."
Logan's lips turned up, hand finally against the bare skin of your leg. Your skirt fanned around your lap, covering your soft skin that lay beneath. "So this is a date huh?"
"Yeah." He tugged you closer. "At least I think it is."
"I think so too."
Unconsciously, you toyed with the chain of his dog tags, catching a glimpse of the worn letters of his name. Any other time you'd push the questions away. You would claim that tonight wasn't the right time. After all this felt good, right in ways nothing had before. But the wine made you loose lipped. Braver than the other times you pushed past the line he drew deep in the sand.
Except this time...he started the conversation.
"You asked about my nightmares last night."
Your eyes caught his, fingers stilling against his chest. "I know you don't want to talk about it."
He shook his head with a deep exhale he felt down to his stomach. "If this is what I think it is. What we're startin' here. Then you should know what you're getting into honey."
"I know what I'm getting into–"
"No. You don't." He sat up straighter, tugging you close until your legs lay over his lap. "You don't know what happened to me. What I did..." He sucked in air as his heart began to twist. The cold wash of anxiety suddenly brighter than a few minutes earlier. "What I couldn't do."
The pain in his eyes chipped off a piece of your heart. Oh how you longed to give it to him.
Cupping his cheek, you felt the scratch of his beard against your skin. "Logan. You're not a bad man."
"Yeah bub. I am," he barked in a half laugh meant to discourage you from seeing his grief.
That's what this was. The full spectrum of his emotions scared the shit out of him more than any villain he fought. More than the thought of dying alone one day. The moment you saw them for yourself, he knew you'd run. He almost expected it. Which is why he'd taken so long—put it off each time the curiosity lingered in your gaze longer than he liked.
He told himself you didn't need to know.
It was better this way.
Tonight proved that all those reasons—all those excuses—stood no chance when it came to you.
"I don't believe that," you whispered, your other hand curling around his dog tags.
"Gotta remember I'm not him. I'm not the hero and never have been." When you looked at him like that—eyes wide and lips turned down—he felt the full weight of the words he was about to say out loud. Words he hadn't spoken since Laura met him by the fire way back in the Void.
Somehow saying it to the other Logan's daughter felt easier. As if he couldn't disappoint her anymore than he had. She'd been there at his death, watched him struggle to protect her, and loved him in spite of all that. She called him Dad and spoke over his grave with a smile. Knowing full well he'd never come back to life, he'd never find his way back to her.
Laura wasn't his kid and yet...he knew she'd understand.
But saying it all to you…
He wasn't sure he'd survive it if you never understood.
"The X-Men in my world weren't as respected as the ones in yours. We were heroes, but the humans. God they fuckin' hated us." His eyes burned with each memory that came rushing back. A river that threatened to drown him. "And I always had to be an asshole. I didn't know what home felt like—what...family felt like. So when I got it, I pushed it away."
"Oh, Logan–"
"No, let me...let me finish honey." He gripped the glass until he heard a crack—his eyes dazed and mind lost to a different time. The night that would later become his ghost. "So I left and did the only thing I was fuckin' good at. I drank until I couldn't feel anythin' anymore. And the humans decided they'd had enough of the X-Men."
Grief struck your heart straight down the center. Tears spilled down your cheeks at the sight of him so broken—so raw from a time that would never leave him. You finally knew why Wade never explained it to you.
This wasn't his story to tell. Not his past to share.
"I came home and they were–" His fingers dug into the skin of your thigh in an attempt to ground himself. Claws slipping free as he struggled to get the final words out—the truth of why he pushed you away. Why he should keep pushing you away. "They were dead."
You pressed yourself against his side, lips against his temple as he silently bit back the emotions he refused to set free. What would become of him once they were finally out? He couldn't risk hurting you because of it.
"They called for me." His breath was ragged, voice thick with tears that never fell. "Jean. Charles. I heard them die in my head. But I was too fuckin' drunk to save them. I got home and all of them were...Jesus. The humans called us mutants vicious, but I'd never seen anythin' like this."
The worst part crawled up his spine with a chill that had his claws coming free. "And you. You survived due to your gifts. Apparently you hid in the future—snapped there without even realizing it. But by the time you returned they were dead and no matter how many times you tried to go back, you couldn't." He raised his head, eyes red and glassy. "You tried to kill me that night. I couldn't blame you for it cause I wanted to die."
"That's not me."
He shook his head. "I know, but you have to know why it happened. I couldn't protect you honey. I couldn't protect any of them."
"The humans did this. Not you." You dragged his face to yours, forcing him to see the sincerity in your eyes—the fire that burned no matter the variant. "You did not kill your family Logan. Don't take their shame."
"It's easy for you to say that bub. You weren't there." He felt your touch mark against his skin and fuck how he wished it would leave a scar. "I'm not the fuckin' hero. I'm the man who fucked it all up because he was too proud for his own good. I need you to see that."
Your gaze hardened. "Why?"
"So you know what you're gettin–"
"Bullshit," you demanded. "I know exactly what I'm getting into Logan. I knew the second I met you. So don't do that. Don't push me away." The press of his forehead to yours leveled the pain and allowed him to breathe. "I'm here to stay. Whether you want me or not."
He grinned, tears finally falling as your lips found his. You breathed life back into his chest, made his heart worth beating again. For all that time he damned himself, loathed the reflection in the mirror, he never thought he'd get this. The soft press of your kiss, the bitter tang of wine on your tongue as his hand gripped your hip—his claws retreating back into his body.
"Trust me. I want you," he mumbled against salt stained lips and broken smiles. "I'll always want you."
"Then it's a good thing I want you too."
That familiar flicker of sparks still existed in the air, begging for more. But you were content to stay here. Kissing him over and over again in order to embed the sensation in your mind.
"Thank you for telling me," you sighed, fingers curling into his hair to drag his lips back to yours.
The thud of his heart ran through his whole body. "Can I show you somethin'?"
You nodded, pulling away as he dug into his pocket. As much as he longed to keep kissing you, to spend all night right there on that couch. He knew there'd be time for that. A night where you were both unburdened by the weight of a past that defined who you were. Tonight was not that night.
The picture was old, burned slightly at the edges and crinkled, but he handed it over with a grin. A group photo like the one stored in the archives at your job. Only this time you recognized two faces among the small team of people in yellow suits. You were smiling with an arm around Logan's waist, your face pressed against his chest.
The sight of his smile—wide and unfiltered—made your heart leap. But the blue aura that seemed to wrap around your body is what gave you pause.
"The blue..."
"Your powers." He pointed to the way it ended at your hands, seeming to stem directly from your chest. "Turning them off wasn't really a thing you could do. Somethin' about time being a constant flow of energy. Charles always explained it better."
Thousands of questions came to mind. All of them pertaining to the powers and the team and more specifically him. He sunk into the couch with a sigh, his eyes hazy with a different kind of need. An ache that no doubt begged him each night. Sleep. Rest without any nightmares, free of the shackles he'd placed on himself.
So you stood, nearly startling him when you did. Nothing had to be said about your intentions, or why you held out your hand for him to take. He simply followed. Each step heavier than the last. The kitchen could be cleaned tomorrow, the bottles put away later. You couldn't find it in yourself to care when his hand was in yours and he smiled at you as if you'd hung the moon in the sky.
"Thought you said Wade was losin' tonight honey?"
You laughed, pushing the flannel from his shoulders as you led him to your bed. "He is. We're just sleeping."
There was no mistaking the doubt in his eyes, the trepidation of his nightmares. "I might hurt you."
"No you won't." Drawing his hand up to your mouth, you lay a kiss along his knuckles. "I trust you Logan."
"You shouldn't." His breath was a shuddered exhale at the sight of you pulling your dress up and over your body.
"Well too bad," you replied, tugging the covers back while he pulled off his shirt—leaving his boots by the door. "You don't scare me Wolverine."
"Wolverine huh?" Crawling into bed with you was easy. Though the mattress sunk under the weight of his bones, you still let him tug you closer—his arms wrapped around your bare waist. "It was James the other night."
"Careful," you said. "Or I'll start calling you Howlett."
A growl rumbled in his chest, his teeth nipping at the bare skin of your shoulder as you laughed. And suddenly he remembered what it was like to live. To want more than just the bottom of a bottle and a peaceful night's sleep. He could recall nights like this in the past. A different you curled up against his body—the love resonating in how you clung to him.
It all slammed into him at once.
Although tonight he didn't push it away. He kept you close, his nose burrowed in your hair, and welcomed the gentle tug of a few hours rest.
Tonight—for the first time—he slept.
Without nightmares.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x y/n#my writing
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Superstition: Jason Todd x witch!reader
requested by anon because it's October!
***
For some reason, the world is always in danger on Tuesdays.
And the newest threat to the existence of the people involved a group of superheroes and vigilantes and even anti-heroes gathering together to discuss the best way to tackle it.
Familiar faces and new ones, arrived at one deeply hidden lair (not really), not causing any reasons for suspicions (again – not really).
Who would pay attention to various, spandex-clad people, climbing to one apartment in the suburbs through the doors and windows, from the ground, air and water, right? It was freaking Gotham after all, weirdest things have happened.
And she was definitely someone new.
He didn’t pay much attention to that girl.
But somehow he noticed how she stood in the back of the room, watching everyone instead of joining in the conversation. How she mostly stayed quiet while the gathered was discussing plans and methods to defeat the newest opponent, only now and then throwing some well-pointed argument.
She was weird with that watchful eyes, focused face, specific kind of humor, wearing unusual clothes, speaking in a manner that indicated she knew something no one else did.
And that smell, he couldn’t quite decipher.
What was it?
Sage? Lavender? Rosemary?
Who, out of normal people, smells like kitchen seasoning?!
But –
Out of it all, she was at least useful. Or so it seemed, otherwise Dick would not bring her out to this meeting in the first place.
And hell, he wouldn’t let her know everyone’s identities.
Well – not everyone. Jason was pretty stubborn with keeping his signature helmet on. He was not risking a stranger to know too much about him. Always the one to keep his cards close to his chest.
“Who is she?” he muttered to Dick, his voice distorted by the metal
“Her name is-“
“I don’t care about her name. What is she?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t make that face on me, Dickhead. You have aliens friends, robotic friends and turning-into-an-animal friends. What is she?”
“Oh, that!” Dick laughed, but then turned serious “I am not telling you that.”
Jason rolled his eyes. This was obviously a bait, and he was not some silly fish to rise to it.
“Fine. Don’t tell me.”
“You will have to- wait, what? You don’t want me tell you?” Dick’s face dropped a little
“Nope.”
“But-“
“I said nope.”
“Come on, Jas-“
“Don’t use my real name, idiot!”
“But I want to tell you!”
“A second ago you claimed that-“
“You are no fun.” Dick pouted like a five year old, crossed arms over his chest and after a moment of zero reaction from his brother walked away, probably to share how unfairly he had been treated.
***
She was a witch.
A freaking witch.
Without hair in her ears, warts, boils and hooked nose.
A witch!
Where was her cat? Her broom? Her – whatever else was a signature for that type of supernatural being.
“You might want to take it a little easier on me, you know?”
“Huh!?” Jason spun around only to notice she was now standing behind him with a soft face expression. “What are you-?”
“Oh, don’t you know that witch can read minds?”
“What now?” he blushed under the helmet on being called out on that, but obviously did not let it show. “Who gave you the permission to invade my head, witch!?” The last word was almost spitted with anger and venom dripping from the voice, followed by crossing arms that was supposed to be intimidating. However, much to his surprise she only chuckled. “Are you laughing at me now?!”
“Yes.”
“Careful there, harpy.” The second that word left his mouth he regretted it. First, she did not deserve to be judged so superficially and Jason should know better how painful it can be. Second, it showed that he was getting agitated and that was not the point. Third, fourth and fifth – she could drop him dead on the spot with her dark magic powers.
“Careful there, tin-head.”
Oh wow. She was mean.
“Or what?” he challenged
“Or I threw a curse at you.”
“And what?”
“Don’t test me.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Oh I bet, you’d be so happy, being able to boost to everyone who’d love to listen that you battled a witch that’s half your size, huh?”
“You don’t know me.” He scoffed, feeling a little offended and hurt.
“Well you don’t know me.”
Shit.
“What’s that scent you smell of?”
“Excuse me?!”
Idiot. At this point he felt like facepalming. So stupid trying to rectify the situation while simultaneously not wanting to say anything that would even resemble apology.
“The- ”
“It’s thyme. And verbena.”
“Why-?”
“It’s supposed to bring out luck and peace . And thyme brings out mental powers.”
“Hence the mind reading?”
“Oh, I was kidding about that. I cannot truly read minds. You were muttering to yourself and since I was standing close there was no way for me to not overhear.”
“So you are not-“
“A I’m -going-to-curse-you-with-pain-in-the-ass witch? No. I’m a little bit more reserved when it comes to that, but don’t tell anyone. I would be casted away from the clan.”
Despite himself he chuckled.
“So, what other discrepancies are there between you and the myths about the witch.”
“I’m not giving such secrets to just anyone, Hood.”
“I can respect that. Got my boundaries too.”
“Hence the helmet still on your face?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“I can respect that.” She nodded, “The world can be awful when it comes to quick and superficial conclusions, right?”
His head snapped her direction. How come she was speaking freely all those words he was holding deep inside his heart. Why did it feel like she actually meant everything said and didn’t just throw around empty platitudes?
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, you look at me like I’ve just murdered a cat for a dark ritual.”
“You can’t see my face. And I don’t like cats.”
“Sure not. Cause you are a dog person, right?”
“You’re being annoying.”
“And you’re being dramatic.”
God, he was hating her already.
***
Two weeks later, he was sitting in her apartment, helmet off, with her black cat on his lap, caressing the soft fur, observing carefully how Y/N was getting ready for the Valpurga Night, taking the weirdest clothes existing from the wardrobe. Judging by the style she had either robbed a homeless man or a prank store.
“Seriously this is how you guys are dressing?” he pointed out at the black robe and a pointy hat.
“What? No! Of course not, are you crazy? This is my Halloween costume. No respectable witch will ever wear a hat like this. God, last time the chairwoman of the assembly had a channel costume and three sets of pearls. Show off she was…”
Jason laughed despite himself.
“You’ve got a Halloween costume six months in advance?”
“Stop laughing or I’ll-“
“Curse me, yeah, yeah, I know the drill.” He raised hands in surrender, causing the cat to meow desperately, demanding more touches. “See, your cat likes me, why can’t you?”
“That cat happened to swallow too much catnip when I was preparing my potions earlier today. He’s not a credible judge at the moment.”
“I’d rather take his judgment over yours.”
Y/N flicked her wrist and the blanket on the bed wrapped over Jason turning him into a giant burrito.
“Seriously, this is the best you can do? Claiming to be powerful and –“
A second later he was levitating by the ceiling, heads down, not liking it at all.
***
One month later he found himself having a panic attack during the night. All the memories from the pit, the pain, the hurt, the trauma came back flooding him like a freaking tsunami.
The last thing he wanted was seeing and hearing things that did not exist.
A lunatic that was what he was.
And there was only one person he knew who was familiar with supernatural things and knew how to play with minds and reality with her skills.
“Y/N.” he stuttered to the phone, her name the only lifeline connecting him with the remnants of crumbling reality.
“I’m on my way.”
Of course she already knew what was happening.
Of course she was already coming to him, to save him from himself.
Ten minutes later, the window creaked and she just flew inside effortlessly, discarding her cloak on the floor and rushing to his side.
“The doors are out there, you weirdo” he stuttered, hating that she saw him in this vulnerable state. “You had to make a show, didn't you?”
“Though it could lift your spirits.” She muttered, without a hint of tease in her voice “and speaking of spirits, can I?” her hands lingered around his head.
“Please…”
Softly and slowly, she placed both palms on his temples, whispering something that might have been a spell, incantation or that curse she was threatening him with since the moment they met.
Regardless of what she chose to place on him, it seemed to work. The fog on his brain slowly dispersed and he almost felt the fear and anxiety floating away.
At least she was useful.
“What- what did you-?”
“hush. Quiet. Here, take that” she handed him a little vial.
“what’s that?”
“A poison. What do you think, jar-head? It; a potion. It will strengthen you.”
“I don’t need strengthening-“
“Just take it.” Her smaller hands wrapped around his, forcing him to keep the bottle. “Please.” For a moment their gazes met and the time seemed to stop. “I can’t risk having you waking me up in the middle of the night again, right?”
“Waking you? Thought you were out casting spells and running naked over the meadow?”
“Not really. It's the incoming moon phase. It’s the time for white magic, and we both know I’m a dark witch right?”
They both chuckled softly. She was as dark as Jason was lenient towards criminals.
“Stay?” he asked softly
“Yeah, I’ll stay.”
***
He didn’t plan it.
Definitely not, but how was he supposed to help being drawn towards that weirdo that seemed to shake up his world? How could he resist the pull towards the otherworldly and the only person that seemed to understand him completely?
The first time she saw him use the all caste he almost noticed the admiration in her eyes.
The first time he observed her actually casting curses and using her powers he felt like he could jump into fire for her.
And it was not because of a spell.
He was –
Oh boy….
A vigilante and a witch.
A walking zombie and a mistress of spirits and supernatural.
What could possibly go wrong?
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd x y/n#red hood x y/n#jason todd fluff#red hood fluff
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