#Hello??

[crane-detector]

sand. Hill crane?? I don’t??? kknow?? whag ?

[shotmrmiller]

military issued wife but you didn't know that using the "dating app" your friend brought up once in idle talk would end with you in an office with a (signed) marriage license on the desk, actively not looking at your 'husband', the burly lummox with a skull mask who's dwarfing the chair he can barely fit in.

you'd thought it'd be like tinder. a potential dating site. as in messaging on the app, getting to know each other, exchanging personal numbers before going on a date. not marriage. not opening your front door expecting it to be your door dasher and instead it's him with a rucksack in one hand and duffel in the other.

he'd looked down his thick nose at you, grunted a quiet, "not bad", and pushed past as if you were a swinging door to a saloon. what the fuck had he been doing there? you'd only spoken a couple of times with him and left on read for the some of it. you'd chosen to move on, try to match with someone else but the app had stopped working (you couldn't swipe right or left anymore) so you'd just put it on the back burner. you had better things to worry about than another disappointment of a man then.

except now said disappointment of a overly large man is taking up most of the couch and his legs aren't even all that far apart. and he's at your house. the house you'd never sent him the address to. as a matter of fact, you'd received a text from an unknown number earlier that had said someone would be home in a few. you'd ignored it thinking it was a wrong number situation but now you're sure it was him. how he got your phone number is also a mystery.

you'd tried to argue. to threaten him with the cops. to get him out and away, far fucking away, but he'd only scooped you up and let you pelt his broad back with your fists. chuckled low in his throat while he smacked your arse to keep still. "i'd hate to drop m'wife."

whatever fight you had he ate right out of you with the heels of your feet digging into the large curve of his shoulders and his hands curled around the back of your thighs. maybe it's because it'd been a while but he'd played your body like an instrument and had you bucking your hips against his tongue, slick coating his face in minutes. (your cheeks burn furiously hot when you think back on what he'd said then. "tight little thing 'nd you've only taken my two fingers." it's flattering, sue you.)

he'd lapped at your sodden cunt until you had overstimulation clumping your lashes together, inner thighs tender from the bristles of his shorn hair and unshaven jaw, your palm on the crown of his head having both pulled him to you and pushed him away.

and then he'd wiped your release with the back of his hand, thumbed the swollen flesh of your bottom lip and rumbled that it's time for bed.

which eventually led to you being here. in front of a man he calls Price, a marriage certificate unlike any you've ever glanced upon, a large gloved hand curled snugly around your leg, fingers grazing a little too close to where he'd left aching and swollen just yesterday.

you're reading the terms and conditions of anything from here on forward. even the fine print.

and then soap comes around and plants a seed in his head of him planting a seed in you :/ at least you can tell your nosy ass aunt that at least you've got a man while she's on her 4th divorce on thanksgiving 💅🏼

[lilislegacy]

i feel like we don’t talk about this scene from the titan’s curse enough, because i think about this a lot. like… a lot. the way he was just like ‘oh i can move faster than bullets, that’s cool’, and then immediately moved on and never thought about it again?? i mean, i knew he could SWIM at mach 5, which is…. hypersonic speed, and equivalent to 3836 miles per hour. and i know all demigods are naturally a bit faster than humans. but like… he can move faster than bullets?

i guess i just wasn’t expecting perseus to go all spider-man on me, that’s all

[scrollonso]

"you aren't fernando dancing like a weirdo to funky music what are you talking abou-" uh this is literally me??

[plutosking]

why are maine and new hampshire a mega-state?

Most-used word in each US state.

[adriles]

Wow some of you are really mad at me. Probably b/c i maimed & killed your friends, brothers, fathers, and sons on the field of battle. Thats ok though. Im fated to die soon

[gryz]

cj ships it

[shinestarhwaa]

HE IS SOOOOO PRETTY

[frogwiththephatahh]

Okay but genuinely, "How will you sleep at night?" "Next to my wife" IS THE COLDEST FUCKIN

[wonnielicious]

nishimura riki. the man you are.

[wayvs]

TAEYONG & TEN Baggy Jeans (2023)

[meeludrawz]

Imagine being a mom/dad friend and your bests friends are Dabi and Shigaraki You take care of their wounds one day and Dabi just goes: "You like patching us up or something? This isn't the first time you've done this."

And you just shrug it off saying that you're just a caring friend and you don't like seeing your friends hurt And Shiggy just goes: "You're more than just a 'caring friend'. You almost act like a partner at times.."

You: *Blushes* "Huh??" So they team up to make you blush lmao Dabi: "You're literally just perfect partner material"

You: *Nervous chuckles* "Well I can't be both your partner am i right?" *You're self deprecating rn* *Both men are smirking* Shiggy: "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

[alexturntable]

the neck kiss??

[hypewinter]

Jazz wasn't crazy. People might argue that burning her childhood home to the ground with her parents still inside would be an indicator of insanity. But how else was she supposed to react after coming back home from college to find out her parents had brutally killed her brother via vivisection?

Dying her hair blonde wasn't crazy either before anyone asked. Plenty of girls dyed their hair when they needed a change. Besides, she could never live with herself if she kept the same hair color as that vile woman.

Admittedly Jazz would have to secede moving to Gotham had been a little crazy but it was the perfect place to start fresh and blend in despite her "quirks". She had even picked out a nice new identity for herself.

Clearly Jazz was not crazy as she had managed to land a job at Arkham Asylum as a psychiatrist. If she were really insane would they have ever hired her? No they wouldn't have.

Jazz was not crazy. She was very much sane. Just like her precious Mr. J.

[funforahermit]

[x]