#He's such a creature he can be SO mean to people

[rhoselacksthorns]

Right I've seen this stupid damn post to much to not do a rant at it that nobody but my like three followers will even see, all of whom will promptly ignore it, so no harm done

This is a terrible and viciously ignorant way to describe the Fermi paradox and it's solutions. Lets go back from the end to the top.

Firstly, that's a shit metaphor, because we can see very very far, in every direction. It's not like we're complaining nobody's called us, it's that we can't see any signs of life elsewhere in the universe. In such a metaphor it'd be the middle of the day and the guy had 20-20 vision and some binoculars. and it's not like we're just looking for things just like us. We're looking for anything alive, so in the metaphor let's change people for animals in general. So here's the new metaphor, a guy standing in an empty waste of barren soil to the horizon, tries looking around for any other creatures and sees nothing. no ants or beatles in the soil at his feet, no giraffes or elephants in the distance (size here as a metaphor for how more advanced life would be easier to spot the signs of), not even through his binoculars. but the man is still there, so he assumes that if he's here, something else probably is, I mean look at all this space, so... where are they? And then he starts going through all eventualities, like maybe he is just the only one (rare life) or this is a very special and rare spot he's stood in that made him appear here (rare earth theory), maybe there were more things alive before he got here, but he can't see any skeletons... so whatever it was it couldn't have been that big, maybe things don't get much bigger than a person here? I wonder why? (great filters)... etc etc

like the way you originally wrote it is the same as saying scientists realised that everything must be made from some smaller thing and then without bothering with so much as a magnifying glass just made up that everything is made of magic little balls floating around eachother!

And on top of that you purposely cherry picked examples of solutions (multiple from fictional works) that you could make sound silly, like let's actually look at arguably the most credible of the solutions you used properly, the dark forest theory. it's based in the idea that if other life is as warlike and violent as us, then first contacts would be very difficult to navigate, and everyone involved would be scared. because we already know it's theoretically possible to create incredibly effective interstellar weaponry, and therefore everyone is scared that somebody else might have it, and therefore everyone sees everyone as a potential threat who could wipe them out, so everyone is scared that if someone else sees them, they'll kill them, so they decide the only way to survive is that if they see somebody, they need to shoot first and kill the other to save themselves. And so it reinforces itself, because any civilisations hiding because of this won't come out of hiding, and any who aren't hiding get killed pretty quickly. That's the dark forest solution, not just everyone magically hates everyone.

I doubt someone goes around making bad faith science takes so I'm guessing op is just brutally ignorant of the whole topic in favour of trying to be "haha funny look at the silly science nerds and their funny ideas"

It just pisses me off, sorry to the few people who'll bother reading this btw

I low-key love the fact that sci-fi has so conditioned us to expect to be hanging out with a bunch of cool space aliens, that legitimate, actual scientists keep proposing the most bizarre, three-blunts-into-the-rotation "theories" to explain the fact we're not.

Some of my favourites include:

Zoo Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they're not talking to us because of the Prime Directive from Star Trek? (Or because they're doing experiments on us???)

Dark Forest Theory: What if there are loads of aliens out there, but they all hate us and each other so they're all just waiting with a shotgun pointed at the door, ready to open fire on anything that moves?

Planetarium Theory: What if there's at least one alien with mastery over light and matter that's just making it seem to us that the universe is empty to us as, like, a joke?

Berserker Theory: What if there were loads of aliens, but one of them made infinite killer robots that murdered everyone and are coming for us next?!!

Like, the universe is at least 13,700,000,000 years old and 46,000,000,000 light years big. We have had the ability to transmit and receive signals for, what, 100 years, and our signals have so far travelled 200 light years?

The fact is biological life almost certainly has, does, or will develop elsewhere in the universe, and it's not impossible that a tiny amount of it has, does, or will develop in a way that we would understand as "intelligent". But, like, we're realistically never going to know because of the scale of the things involved.

So I'm proposing my own hypothesis. I call it the "Fool in a Field" hypothesis. It goes like this:

Humanity is a guy standing in the middle of a field at midnight. It's pitch black, he can't move, and he's been standing there for ages. He's just had the thought to swing his arms. He swings one of his arms, once, and does not hit another person. "Oh no!" He says. "Robots have killed them all!"

[lolitastories]

Ocean blue

Rafe Cameron

As I stood one step behind Rafe and our daughter, I felt like their bodyguard. He always wanted to have her in his arms. He didn’t feel the need to use her stroller, so it always stayed in the trunk. He would look back every so often to make sure I was close by but most importantly, he made sure to catch every moment, expression, or action from our daughter. “Don’t get her too close to the glass” I warned. But just as I said it he squatted down with her close enough to touch the glass. He grins back at me before turning to see our daughter so fazed with the creature in front of her. I step back taking a seat on the wooden bench and just watch those two.

“Can you imagine them living amongst dinosaurs?” My head snaps to my right as a man takes the seat beside me. “Of course they developed over the years but it's incredible to think of how far back they go.”

“And now you have them here” I plainly point towards the glass. “Living behind a glass where people pay to come and see them.” The guy laughs shaking his head.

“If you think they deserve better, why come see them?”

“Call me a hypocrite,” I smile. “I like to think these places are made up of animals we have helped. Maybe that small turtle was saved and would never be able survive out there in the wild.”

“A nice way to see things,” He lets out a sigh. “But still pessimistic?”

“Oh yes” I laugh. “It’s second nature to me. People can be so deceiving that it's easier to never truly put your trust on someone.”

“Talking from experience?” I turn my head to look at him. My smile turned into a bit of a frown. His mood shifted really quickly, noticing my change. “You seem like a person who believes in second chances?”

“I believe things can be made right, but I also believe a person should know their value. Trust should be sacred. If you decide to trust someone it could either make you noble or a fool for falling for the same trick twice.”

“And you don’t want to make that mistake twice because you’re scared of the pain?” I shake my head letting out a quick laugh. “In my books it doesn’t make you a fool to trust again, it simply means you are a human with a big heart.”

“Guess we just differ in opinions.” He smiles nodding along.

“We should meet up to see if that is true, maybe in a couple of years it will be the same?” I look over feeling my smile die down. I take a deep breath ready to respond when someone cuts me off.

“I think not.” Our heads turn to see Rafe standing there. “Our daughter wants to visit the shop.” His eyes rolled over to mine. Dead expression on his face.

“I don’t mean to cause any trouble-”

“Then walk away.” I gasp at Rafe's response. I was about to grab his hand and pull him away when he turned towards me and handed over our daughter. As I adjusted her in my arms I am faced with his back.

“I-” I see the man stretch to the side with pleading eyes to look at me but of course Rafe blocks him. He moves forward with each hand grabbing a fist full of the man's collar.

“Look dude. I am trying to have a nice day with my family and you are ruining it. You are some creepy guy who comes to places like these alone to what? Pry on women hoping they give you some attention?”

“Rafe stop.” I demanded placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Look man I just saw her sitting there and she looked a bit down,” What? I looked down? People said I have a resting bitch face but I didn’t know it made me look depressed, what the fuck.

“Your mistake.” Rafe continues. “Now that I am here you can move along and bother someone else, this one is mine.” He lets him go with a little shove. I stay quiet knowing and hoping it won’t escalate. The man fixes his shirt and with a last glance towards me he walks away.

“Seriously?” I say watching Rafe walk to where I was standing. “You didn’t have to do all of that.” He doesn’t respond. He simply takes a hold of my hand and begins to drag me somewhere. “Rafe,” I say a little louder trying to get his attention. He swiftly dragged us between the crowd until we stopped in front of the family bathroom.

“In.” He opened the door and motioned for me to get in but I just stood there. I raised one brow thinking how crazy he was acting and childish. “Can you please get in?” I rolled my eyes and got in. I shake away the small grin knowing it wasn’t the time to acknowledge his cute plea. I wait for him to close the door and lock it. “I heard you two talking.”

“Rafe you know I wouldn’t-”

“I wasn’t talking about him.” He stays put in the doorway. I search his eyes for any clue, until it hits me. “Are you ever going to trust me?” His voice was almost a whisper. “You don’t say it but I know the reason for you breaking up with me and putting me on trial to be in our daughter's life was because of my past.” I was left speechless. My cheeks were burning and my bones were aching to just touch him. I saw how pain flashed in his eyes but I couldn’t find the words. “You would have hated who I was back then and who’s to say I won’t go back to being that person again. My father was a bad man but I loved him.” His last word made his voice crack. “I don’t want her to live through that and hate me,” His head falls down but I notice a small tear rolling down his cheek. “I don’t want to live knowing you always have a foot out the door.” That's when he broke down into a cry.

“Rafe,” I swallowed the pain in my throat and walked over to him. I grabbed his hand and led him to the single couch in the room. “Look at me Rafe.” I kneel in front of him. I lifted his chin a bit to search for his eyes. Once I saw his eyes focus on me I moved our daughter to his lap. “I can’t tell you that it didn’t play a part in my decision because it did.” His chest was breathing heavily. “But it didn’t make me stop trusting you, ever.” Both of my hands were holding his cheeks making sure he didn’t look away. I move my thumbs to clear up the remainder of his tears. “Baby I fell in love with the man you became after so much pain. You did that on your own before we met and after seeing you become a father, I know you won’t ever do anything to make her and I hate you.”

“But you don’t even look at me the same.” I grinned hearing his childlike whine. I move closer between his legs.

“I don’t look at you the same because you keep changing on me for the better.” I begin to smile bigger. “I fell in love with a 20 year old boy who was building a life for himself. Then again as a 24 year old man who became the father to our little girl. Now I have a chance to see what kind of person you will become as we grow older together but trust me, the only change you see in my eyes is how my love just keeps getting bigger and bigger for you.” I lift my head giving him a quick kiss. “Those blue eyes have become my favorite blues to see.”

“Not the ocean?” He says quietly.

“No, ocean blue doesn’t even come close.” He nods softly before fixing his down posture. “Are you okay?” He flickered his eyes down towards me as he nodded. But when I tried to get up with one hand he kept me from standing up. He leans forward and as I try to pull away but his free hand moves from my shoulder to the back of my head.

“You need to be more careful when talking to strangers,” What am I, 10?. “I held back because our daughter was nearby, but don’t go making friends with strangers, especially men.” I roll my eyes as I let out a chuckle. “You two are mine to protect.” I move forward resting my forehead against his.

“She is ours to protect,” I say challengingly. His piercing eyes don’t change showing how he was not amused with my answer. “I won’t do it again.” I groaned, pulling away from him. “Can I get up now? My knees are killing me”

“I don’t know why. You have always been good on your knees.” I scoff pushing him away.

“You're an idiot.” I hear him laugh as I pick myself up. “Now let's go because there is an otter plushie that has my name on it.” I hear the couch creek as he stands and walks over to the door. I turn around to face Rafe, one hand on the handle behind my back as he stares down at me. “I love you so much.” I whisper quietly and slowly. His eyes move to my right and then the left a couple of times. “Don’t forget it.” I simply state. I turn and push the door open but his hand grips mine and pulls it close. His face right beside me ear,

“Woman if I didn’t have my daughter in my arms right now I would fuck you against this very door. Don’t go saying things like that when I can’t do anything about it.” He takes a step back allowing me to focus back on opening the door. I tried to swallow but my mouth was left dry. Of course Rafe was enjoying it. He wrapped his free arm around my neck and led us to the shop with a grin on his face.

“Fuck the store” I stop in my tracks. Shivers were literally circulating around my body.

“What?” Is he stupid?

“We can come tomorrow to get her a stuffed animal. Let's go home. She needs to nap.” I didn’t care how desperate I looked or sounded. I needed Rafe. These people should be grateful I have enough self restraint to hold myself back but it wouldn’t be for long.

“What about the otter-?”

“Fuck the otter Rafe.” I looked around a little embarrassed as I spoke a little too loudly. I walked closer making sure no one was going to hear me. “I am giving you a chance to go home and fuck me Rafe.” His eyes widened. “You can fuck me until you put another baby in me. I need you,” I look up with pleading eyes hoping to get him on the same page.

“Yes ma’am.” And with Rafe, it didn’t take much.

[kiefbowl]

even though I just made a joke about it killing the rain forest, I had to conclude my little foray into chatgpt land by asking it some things I know a lot about. so I asked it to "could you create a language" and it spit out some of the most unimpressive surface level stuff about the building blocks of language.

then I asked it: "Can you explain to me what happens in A Dance with Dragons" and it again just said the most cursory stuff that feels like reading a 9 year old's book report. So I said "explain in more detail" and it just used more words to say the same stuff like a 9 year old who can't hit the word count. So i said "explain in more detail" and it's just more of the same...besides the stuff it's wrong about in any case. I didn't read it all, but just from skimming I could see it got some things wrong. like:

Tyrion hasn't made it to Daenerys yet. Daario is missing for most of the book. Missandei is 9 years old. These are three prominent characters from the show, but they are not her most prominent advisors in the book.

The children of the forest creating the white walkers must be from the show because what?? Not only is that not in the book, there's no evidence or foreshadowing of that in the book. The white walkers don't need to be "created" by anyone, they are just living creatures in this world. Even if it's later revealed in a book or by GRRM that was the intention, it's just simply false that it's in ADWD.

But also, it's just unimpressive this "summary". It's just kinda saying vague things that kinda happened. I asked if it could explain things that happened in ADWD, and it just doesn't. I ask for more detail, it just gives more words. I asked for more detail, it just gives more words. Which to me is telling, as these are some of the most popular books of the past twenty years, with endless amounts of meta for free on the internet you could find easily. There is no way that if thousands of people are feeding chatgpt things to analyze, people haven't uploaded large chunks of the book itself. I'm not asking it to give me deep analysis, I'm asking it to explain the plot and it's saying things like "Jon struggles with his leadership" and "Tyrion struggles with his guilt." Okay.

So I asked it something specific:

This is a normal english question, and I get this:

The most important thing that happens to Daenerys and Drogon is that she gets on top of him and flies away. She flies a dragon. "After Drogon appears, Daenerys realizes how dangerous her power can be" like wtf are you talking about. I mean yeah sure, but what a generic ass thing to say.

No shit sherlock, this is a theme running through the books that dragons are dangerous and powerful. But what literally happens between them? And it just doesn't say it.

So I decided to use a more specific question, because maybe I asked incorrectly:

This is 1. wrong and 2. still doesn't mention that Dany gets on Drogon's back and flies away. Like she literally does control Drogon. It is absolute chaos when Drogon returns, and no she doesn't sit there and reflect. She runs into the pit, to Drogon, dodges fire, and instinctively climbs onto his back and flys away and he listens. This is the first time it happens. This is monumental. This is like the culmination of five books of waiting to see when Dany is finally going to fly one of her dragons. And this stupid ass thing cannot tell me it happens. From an insanely popular IP that had a tv show made of it.

This isn't impressive at all. You'd get better, more concise information reading the wikipedia page.

[urautismdiagnosis]

Ships hehe

BOATS (ships)

OK SO I won't tolerate anyone trashing aro ace people or queer platonic relationships or invalidating them, THAT OUT OF THE WAY TIME FOR HEADCANONSSS

barnacles and kwazii 🐻‍❄️💛🐱: I originally shipped them when I was like 12 lol

To me they're going to become a QPR and they mean the world to me.

I need to start actually posting my stories to showcase what's gonna happen BUT CMON GUYS THEY HAD AN ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT THEM BEING A SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP?!

Like I'm gonna be so real they were octopod POD mates. (Their rooms in the same bubble lol)

Kwazii is his ✨first mate✨

They're a married couple that doesn't realize it yet!I'm going to trauma bond them and no one can stop me. Cuz I've already done it 😎👍✨

They deeply trust eachother! I'm going to make barnacles hold what he thinks is kwazii dead in his arms! Barnacles loves this silly cat man! Kwazii loves to be appreciated and make barnacles proud! They emotionally support eachother! Kwazii is going to have nightmares about the captain dying in a horrific way that totally doesn't relate to the intens epsychological trauma I've given him! Barnacles wants to be useful and have someone to love but also someone to tell him its ok and that he doesn't have to be perfect or brave all the time! Kwazii wants to not be alone and prove himself to someone who truly sees the worth in him while being able to trust that they'd always stay loyal together! They have so many inside jokes and shared moments of near death experiences! Accordian music and shanties!

anyways onto SHELLINGTON AND DASHI AY AY AY AYYYY

Uhhh so I haven't posted their designs and my headcanons but yes Shellington is autistic to me (totally not me projecting but yall see the username. Ill get into why I think he's autistic on my character design post for him) and yes I think yk what? Maybe he was a little lonely and weird as a kid and yk what also? Maybe he does have some chronic pain too I dont make the rules (yes I do)

Anyways like shellington, I'm giving my baby issues and fears relating to not being like part of the group lol. Subconsciously anyways. And yk he found his people, the octonauts who value him and his interests and dont blame him for messing up lol and he likes himself as a person

(BTW he wouls totally try to adopt a cryptid like creature (new species!) abomination and name it Steve I already have an entire plot)

Do yall remember when they were sent to spend several weeks alone together in the midnight zone cuz I do

Regardless i think dashi just casually asked him ayyo wanna date and then he bluescreened LOL

As for dashi well, I'll get into her headcanons when I post her character design as well, but regardless she needs someone who understands and supports her passions without judgement yk?

She is so incredible,like photography, computer specialist, apparently technically a scientist, a surfer, able to pilot deep marine vehicles, got swallowed by a whale, did a flip from the manta ray while diving FRKM SEVERAL METWRS IN THE AIR INTO WAYER THAT WAS ABOUT TO HAVE LAVA POUR INTO IT???, and is a whole pilot now apaprently???

Like holy-

Anyways yeah dashi thinks shellington is an amazing single father with so much kindness and emotional intelligence and many many charming qualities 🥰

Shellington thinks dashi is Like actually a really really awesome person??? Like they both like organizing things!! Shes funny and smart!! They can both talk about eachothers interests and he likes to make her happy!! She's really cool and kind and helps him with stuff and she's super intelligent and charming! He just thinks she's oh so very cool. She's so confident and has kind eyes 🥰

Anyways yes

Btw just wanna say that tweak is like if u were aro ace to the max lolll shes just content with her life and friends lol

now for the penguin(s) in the room

ok so shes gonna be a plot relevant character in a story I've got in the works (The Oil RIg) it'll be a fun ride dw, but we love medic x depressed woman its great and yes I do think peso could pull any gal just by existing like straight up fight me on this fight me fIGHT ME-

ok not fight I'm not like that but I will stand on this hill till I die

but fr tho it was a whole telenovellahow they met omg- I'm talking the drama- thelore- thesoftmoments and the heartbreaking goodbyes- not to worry tho they do meet again and are like long distance(with tons of visiting) lol they have a very healthy relationship tho considering that shes like idk, ig fresh out of a like, very unhealthy environment

i ain't gonna spoil anything rn tho lol but she Gon save his life and he gon save hers and its gonna be beautiful<3 <3 <#

[christhetree256]

📃 You are expendable. You are not expected to return

📌 Tumblr recommendations

✨️ 1. Being able to make silly creatures is fun for me 2. The sillies I have met :3

🎥 Ok, seeing both I.F. and Seb talk is 10/10. Also the scene with Lucy stepping on a Searchlight is a close second and seeing the angel is a third.

🎶 Don't have one, but Pande's theme is pretty good

💕 ok ok ok ok Sebby is nice and all, but p.ai.nter P.AI.NTER absolutely lovely. He is so mean and silly and amazing and lovely. I will rescue him from the blacksite o7.

💔 Fuck Pinkie, annoying bastard

🏳️‍🌈 I guess think the person who voiced I.F. (in lore) might be bi? Idk I don't care about this stuff that much

🍀P.ai.nter is the closest

💎 Tha blacklight doesn't work on the candlebearers, I think. So it makes it even worse :3. Also everything the Gummylight can trade is a mine or will give you a mine if traded to a deep sea slug. So be careful with it :(.

💢 DRAMA BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD LET PEOPLE HAVE HEADCANONS AS LONG AS ITS NOT MORALLY WRONG!!!! Also the lack of comics with the angel. Please can people make more :(.

Anyways tagging time :3

@0utlookgal360 @glowingsquiddragon @the-reader22 @pompohills @tomyukooutback

media hyperfixation ask game!

this can also be applied to special interests! if you have multiple, put them in the tags so people who send asks can specify which hyperfixation/spin they’re asking about. 📃 what is the plot of your hyperfixation? and is it a movie, game, show, etc? 📌 how did you find your hyperfixation? ✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it? 🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation? 🎶 if your hyperfixation has songs/an ost, what is your favorite song from it? 💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them! 💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them. 🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? 🍀 do you have any kins or comfort characters from your hyperfixation? 💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share? 💢 what do you NOT like about your hyperfixation? is there something you would want to change about it?

[alchemicalterror]

Wait shouldn't you be more worried about Ghoul NOT going back to the future? Don't you worry about the sacred timeline and all that? What if he meets his past self someday and the universe implodes?

So. Short version?

No.

Long version below:

So that line of thinking pays homage to the false idea that time is a straight shot of events that can be plotted on a graph or timeline in one unbroken, contiguous stream from beginning to end.

In reality, what we perceive as time only holds any sort of narrative flow or structure because we as people can only hope to glimpse it from a single perspective - our own - and because we are creatures hard wired to seek and internalize patterns to such a degree that we will invent them for our own comfort.

But just because we are able - through this fabricated self-delusion built off perspective re-enforced by a societal drive to tell stories and arrange events in a manner that suggests they are, in fact, sensible - does not mean that this is how time or reality actually work. Casuality is much more complicated than that, and existence as a whole much larger than can be summed up from a single person's understanding of it.

In truth, what we call time is less a single path of events strung one after another, or even something that could be represented by a conspiracy board of events, and is instead more akin to an entire bathtub's worth of glitter upended on enough fly-paper to wallpaper a bedroom with, roughly once per second, with each sparkling fleck being an entire cosmos' worth of concurrent experiences happening everywhere, to everyone and everything, across our universe, constantly.

Trying to worry overmuch about the shifts that one little change is going to make in that sea of chaos, and set the world's supposed narrative on a farcical 'wrong' path incorrectly attributes the possibility of a 'right' one, when in truth reality is just going to keep on reality-ing whether or not Ghoul lives out his life in the early aughts or pops back to when he came from. Weirder shit has, is, and will be happening all the damn time, and it ain't worth worrying about one stray speck of glitter.

S'pecially since I like this one.

But that's just a layman approaching the topic from the broad strokes of psychology and sociological profiling, and taking an educated stab at explaining something damn well outside my wheelhouse, I'd chase up Eddie for a more nuanced approach from a background better suited to this sort of discussion if it interests you.

[severus-snaps]

i know we all enjoyed that screencap from hogwarts mystery where madam pomfrey lets slip that snape is needy when he gets a cold but like

maybe it's because he's feeling under the weather that his usual facade cracks. the illness is just a conduit, an excuse to be 'needy', because he finally has something he can blame for feeling bad - something specific that he can pinpoint, one he can share. without meaning to, without any intention or conscious awareness that it's what he's doing, he's seeking the comfort and sympathy he's always been starved for. what would it take to be considered needy, anyway? turning up repeatedly for potions from madam pomfrey, even though he could brew them himself? coughing/sniffing dramatically in the staffroom, sitting by the fire looking like death warmed up, and playing it up a little?

i'm not sure he'd get much, though. in the game, madam pomfrey tells people he's needy, which doesn't suggest sympathy and actually feels a bit mean, telling other people that. when he speaks to the students, he tells them to stop gawking at him with 'feigned pity', suggesting that's what he's used to:

getting back into 'canon' extrapolations from book characterisations, i expect that the other teachers would hardly be sympathetic... (i went on a bit of a ramble so have broken it down below)

mcgonagall mcgonagall is probably the professor suggested to be closest to snape, with their quidditch rivalry bordering a frenemy-style relationship - but she seems very old-school tough love/dismissal, the type to snap "just have a whisky/potion and get on with it"

dumbledore dumbledore might offer some kind words, but their relationship is... complicated. snape is, obviously, a brooding little bitch - he's not about to forget that dumbledore dismissed his wanting to die like it was nothing when lily died, so he's hardly going to think that dumbledore's sympathy is genuine

madam pomfrey i think madam pomfrey would be similarly no-nonsense to mcgonagall; she sees worse every day from kids' magic going wrong, the yearly disaster whenever harry is there, and quidditch injuries, and even when harry is injured i don't remember her being particularly comforting - she'd hardly have time for snape's theatrics.

hagrid weirdly, i think hagrid would be sympathetic - he always seems fairly nice about snape, probably because anyone dumbledore trusts is 1000% incredible in hagrid's book - but i doubt snape comes across hagrid that often outside of mealtimes (should they sit together) since hagrid lives outside the castle, unlike the rest of the staff (which seems a bit mean, on reflection - though maybe hagrid likes it because he prefers nature and his own space, and the freedom to do illegal activities like dragon rearing and breeding possibly illegal creatures, but i digress)

the others i doubt the other professors are close enough to snape to offer anything more than polite, surface-level sympathy for a coworker - and snape knows that.

if we want to get into little bit sad territory, imagine snape in the staffroom. there's a bug going around; everyone has had it at some stage. he leaves a tray of vials filled with pepperup/some other potion; people take them gratefully.

then he overhears sprout like "here filius, make a tea out of this and you'll be right as rain!", mcgonagall sharing her own whisky for a hot toddy with madame hooch when she gets a chesty cough, or the staff put together care packages to take down to hagrid's hut when he's ill.

snape isn't offered anything. the potions quickly run out.

he heads to the hospital wing to ask for another, because his brain fog and aching limbs and sinus pain mean he's firmly not in the mood to be bent over a cauldron to be making any more - and besides, he's made all of the potions for the hospital wing anyway - they're basically his to take. he made them especially for this bug going around. he's handed them out in the staffroom already. he's left them in the slytherin common room. he even took one to dumbledore's office.

but rather than offering anything, madam pomfrey shoos him away quickly, tells him to stop being such a bother - so he just traipses back to his own room, fully aware that nobody will gather leaves for a curative tea for him, he'll be receiving no care packages, no hot toddies, not even his own potions - and if he doesn't show at dinner, because he's tired and grumpy and aching and just wants to sleep, nobody will ask after him - because nobody cares

but yeah. snape, feeling under the weather and subconsciously seeking a little bit of care - and still not receiving any :(

[cryptid-killjoy]

"Cool, we're the pineapple under the sea crew if Iorek's in."

Normal chatter until Livvy came up. There was Figaro looking on the bright though.

"True. She's not dead. At least I'm not mourning her legendary pirate soul." He started to grin at the simple act of calling her a pirate recalling how she got her name to begin with. It was so silly. How could he not smile? Then it fell. "Pretty sure she wouldn't want to see me if we did bump into each other." Then it started to grow again. "But watching her attempt to ignore, act cool, or act audacious, whichever would be cute either way." He chuckled at the thought wondering where her instinct would take her.

As for missing the randomness of people in society for these two social creatures Will was nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what I mean. We need chile, Smalls. I'm more used to life being a chilli cook off actually. Not just Skyline versus Goldstar, but a god damn county fair cook off any day I feel like not being in the walls. You hit the nail on the head there. Some days I even want a Chilli Dog."

Nothing got his smile to spread more than the mention of Hansel. His time in the walls was special to him. But, oh the phrasing, in the closet. He laughed out loud. "Don't crush me with ideas, Smalls. Hansel's a handsome guy." Willem would hardly be ashamed to admit he got off with a couple girls more on the idea Hansel might have been peeking through the secret wall holes and believing he was giving him a show than the thought of the girls he was with. He never said these sorts of thoughts out loud though. Hansel was probably that best friend secret soft-crush he'd never move on because A. dude was straight, and B. he'd never want to hurt Funkytown if something went wrong even if he wasn't straight. He started to realize flirting with Diana too much started to be an issue. He never wanted to hurt a doll in any way. Either way he sure didn't mind giving Hansel a show and enjoyed it.

When they got out of the bus it was hard not to notice the amount of corpse debris strewn about. He flared his nostrils on first foul breath. He put the back of his wrist up to his nose. "You might want to wear that around your neck. Damn." His brows furrowed as his face cringed unable to stop inhaling in the pungent odor due to need for breathing. He'd smelled worse, especially in the beginning, but he still wasn't used to it no matter how long he'd lived in Feral.

All he could even think to say about Quarantine was, "That's Feral for ya." It was hardly shocking even if his nose still disliked it.

Another big smile spread when he saw Figaro with a rather large weapon. "Hell yeah. That's what I'm talking 'bout. Dear Davey Jones. You look so... kick ass."

The best part of Bastien and his hoarding and their strange nothing you need store is everything that's expensive is nothing but a treasure hunt away. This appealed to Willem's pirate looting side. Bastien had a tendency to hoard anything and everything and organized in a system of his own design. Willem was more specific with his looting. That said one can best bet Wild Will came home to Funkytown one day with the Resident Evil VRs for his horror movie watching household. He brought enough headsets for half the dolls to play and even modded them to fit smaller dolls heads. Of course, the Polly Pockets and action figure sized were still out of luck, but he tried to make them user friendly. It was one of his own favorite loots.

"Yes, and please." He was ready to go up and check out the dolls that were haunting his mind tonight. He knew he wasn't going to sleep well if he didn't go check on them. So, he led Figaro on up to Livvy's old apartment. Willem had over time even gotten the key to the front door to the place because he heard of Frank's people races for Feral. The reality was most didn't make it beyond the race and if they did, they weren't prepared for what Feral was. The zombies got them before they had a chance to settle in, but on the off chance someone was a tough cookie that survived the Feral trials he wanted to keep this one space safe. So, he'd be seen pulling out a key of his own and unlocking her apartment as if it was his own. It wasn't a difficult item to acquire when the Landlord's office was abandoned.

"This is it." He knew Figaro wanted to rummage her uncle's belongings, but he still walked back to Livvy's room first.

"Her room is back here."

The shelving unit he made that Livvy never saw would be there, installed, and covered neatly in her collection of dolls and figurines. They were all lined up with care and placed at aesthetically pleasing angles.

He reached in for the mermaid first and sat on the edge of her bed. "I love this one." He said before kicking off the portion of his costume that made his feet look like hooves. They were getting uncomfortable, and it was a show he was making himself comfortable and intended to stay for a while. He was in no rush.

He took a dust cloth that was sitting off on a side table and wiped it off. It was still sitting there from last time he'd been in along with some Windex and dust spray. He intended to wipe down the shelves and tend to each one like he always did.

"She loved this one." He added. The Livvy Mermaid. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, but he enjoyed letting the memories whirl around his head as he touched each one that were living in boxes before he pulled them out, like a collector too afraid to open them up afraid of them losing value instead of enjoying them. The only difference was he knew that wasn't why she kept them in the box. Willem always saw Livvy as another little giant too busy trying to be what she wasn't or who she thought others needed her to be to enjoy who she was. That's why he knew those dolls were loved even shoved in the back of a closet in boxes instead of given away, donated, or sold off. It was thoughts like that which Livvy never quite knew or understood about Willem because they never dwelled long on depths of each other, but it was still thoughts like that which kept Willem attached. It was too close to home.

"Every now and again I think about bringing them all back to Funkytown, but I think they'll worry they might miss her if she comes back." He'd say as if they were actually alive and had thoughts and feelings even all of these didn't have any of the Geppetto magic on them. Willem believed he understood all the feelings of dolls even when they didn't.

"They don't get too lonely. They have each other." He let Figaro know in case they were worried. It had been a worry of his.

He looked more at peace in there than at the ball. "You don't have to sit here while I tidy them. You can go exploring like you wanted. I can meet you in there when I'm done if you want?" He had a feeling Figaro would get bored watching him dust the figurines and shelves and fluff the dolls.

“I am feeling pretty jolly,” Figaro admitted. Seeing their father was bittersweet but there was a lot of good to take away from that. He was watching over them. And he was proud. The ghosts of their Merry Men friends stuck around. There wasn’t much reason to not be jolly.

“I think I’d make a sick Larry,” Figaro hummed as they careened the bus down the mountain road. “Hey Iorek, you wanna be Gary?”

The bear let out a sound that sounded half-whine, half yawn. Figaro looked over their shoulder at him.

“Mrs. Puff? You want to be Mrs goddamn Puff?” They said, with wide eyes. “Damn. I didn’t know you wanted to go for sex appeal. Let’s fuckin do it.”

They nodded, not having much of an opinion either way of whether Livvy was still going to be active in their lives or not. “Hey, she’s alive though, that’s something,” They said. Not a lot of people were these days. “So there’s a chance that you’ll be able to see her again.”

Looking on the bright side wasn’t always their forte but when it came to Will? Goddamn, they really wanted him to be happy. Even if it was with someone like Livvy. That girl had made him smile, while also being frustrating at the same time. Messy - but at least he was showing his teeth.

“You’re right about that, I miss meeting people,” Figaro said, eyes on the road, their voice actually being serious. “Nothing against our friends obviously but - yeah. Variety in the spice of life and we’re not getting that. I’m growing sick of paprika, I want some chile.”

They didn’t mean this romantically, obviously, but they were a social being. There was nothing shy about Figaro. They’d just pop in and make themselves at home, that’s how they made a lot of their friends. And either they gott rejected, or they were invited in as if they had always been there. Meeting Flotsam, as if they had been instant best friends the moment that they met. The high school cafeteria table where they sat, despite not really talking to Arthur and Lance, boom, as if they had been sitting together since kindergarden. And then inviting Willem over to live with them despite only having spoken for a couple of days. They tested that chemistry with a lot of people. And now there wasn’t anyone to pop up on.

Figaro agreed though. Willem did need a certain kind of chaos in his life. “Maybe she’ll surprise ya one day,” They offered. Granted, it seemed HIGHLY unlikely that Delta was ever going to invite in someone like Livvy, a human that didn’t offer that much to her at all. Not without killing her or something similar. But regardless. Stranger things have happened.

They chuckled as they heard Willem sing and joined in with the tune. “-in the closet, that’s Hansel, he’s a bit shy so don’t scream too much!”

They parked up by the playground and looked out the windshield at the building. This area didn’t get much upkeep in Feral. Willem was the only one who really ever came to it. Old blood - once a bright red but now a brick-brown, blended into the walls, and a few bodies still lay around, decomposing. Figaro grabbed the Dragon-Fruit Little Tree air freshener from the mirror and wrapped it around their wrist. “Man, I hate the smell of the dead in the morning,” They sighed.

The bodies didn’t smell too much. It was mostly just bones and a bit of ooze. Being left out in the elements like the sun and the rain definitely had their effects. But they took a big whiff of the air freshener before daring to step outside.

It was still dark, the sky only lightening slightly, as they approached the building. It seemed so desolate. It didn’t need the Frank and Delta treatment to be spooky. “Why am I getting REC vibes? Quarantine? I wish I had a machete.”

That’s when they spotted something glistening. “Oh hey, a dead cop. Oooooh, hey, a dead cop’s gun!” They said, going towards it and took it out of the corpse’s fingerbones. “Now we’re going Resident Evil, baby. Let’s go hang out with some cool dolls.”

[the-raven-and-the-tower]

Some Davrin angst for your day?

GHILAN'NAIN: Grey Wardens! I wield the power of the blight.(Archdemon roars) Today, you face the finest child of the gods!

(Tiny infodump on this bitch even though this post is about Davrin) The whole "finest child of the gods" thing is because Ghilan’nain was elevated to godhood by the elven pantheon (specifically by Andruil, the goddess of the hunt). Before her ascension, Ghilan’nain was known for creating creatures that had never been seen before, which pleased Andruil for a while... until some of the creatures started becoming monsters and killing people.

NEVE: Ghilan'nain! And she brought a dragon!

DAVRIN (grimly): Worse! That's an Archdemon!

Historically, Wardens have ended blights by facing down Archdemons as the only ones capable to taking them down. For Grey Wardens, sensing an Archdemon is not just a call to battle; it’s a call to potentially end their life. The ritual that makes a person into a Grey Warden requires them to consume Darkspawn blood, which changes them - giving the ability to sense darkspawn... at the cost of linking their fate directly to the fate of the Archdemon. It's a strange connection that means killing the Archdemon requires the life of the Grey Warden who strikes the final blow. The ultimate sacrifice, seen as a necessary cost to save the world from a Blight.

ROOK: We have to get inside!

MILA: The war room isn't far!

Just real quick a second can we cheer for how frickin' adorable and badass Mila is? And appreciate how understandably stressed Rook is about a child guiding them through an active battlefield? While Mila is confident and calm. I love it.

ROOK (stressed): Stick close, Mila!

DAVRIN: (staggers, pained grunt)

NEVE: Davrin? What's wrong?

DAVRIN: Wardens... we can sense an Archdemon... I can hear the Calling... Splitting headache... but I'll make it.

Grey Wardens are constantly aware that their life might end with the Calling. Davrin has lived his life with the concept of an early end to it so long that he's begun to draw comfort from the idea. Here, at what he very well may believe is his end, he's showing stoic resolve. No wavering, no fear, no hesitation. For as long as he can remember, his purpose has been to defend the world from the blight and with that purpose has come the knowledge that he will die doing it. He's running towards his purpose now with no fear of his own end, embracing it, even. Little does he know that a whole new battle awaits him on the other side, a wrestling match with his own mind when he survives, as he never expected to.

NEVE: ...

NEVE: Well, this went sideways! (on to the next problem) How's Lucanis going to kill a cloud with a dagger?

ROOK (still very stressed about the literal child leading them across the battlefield): One thing at a time! For now, let's not die out here!

[sarcasticace]

Episode 7. Little bit of a live reaction. The opening, very tragic. Very emotional. But the dialogue, I can't help it, its so funny. "Doctor, this is beyond me, but you are the worlds leading most expect. So smart and handsome. And cool too. If anyone can save her, it would be you." I'm exaggerating just a bit like I do, but really.... they were laying it on real thick.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I love how every member of the creature commandos, more or less, are different kinds of monsters. Either literally, they are a robotic killing machine or walking, talking corpse. Or it their nature/origin story are metaphors for what 'a monster' means in our society.

Nina is an outcast. The whole group are a bunch of outcasts, yes, I know, but Nina was born into the world of humans. As was Dr. P, but unlike him, Nina never fit in. Dr. P lived most of his life as part of the human world. He had a childhood. Fell in love. Had a daughter. Then as an adult, he was pushed to his limits. Broken. Had everything taken from him. By the greedy and corrupt who didn't see him as an equal. As lesser. Someone who they can inflict harm onto because who gives a shit about anyone who isn't on their level. Everyone else is less important than the pursuit of profit. And how dare he threaten that profit. Everything was taken from him until the only thing left was his rage.

On the other hand, Nina never fit in. She was bullied. Rejected. Other-ed. Her being a monster is a very obvious, not at all subtle metaphor for how society treats people who do not fall within the expected standard of how we should look, act, etc. I could go on but I think a lot of us here get it or know what that's like. To be treated like a freak for being different in some way that someone doesn't like or thinks is abnormal. Nina never connected with other humans. She connected with other 'monsters'. That is where she finally fit in.

And then, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, Nina dies. Seemingly. Most likely. Yeah, she's dead. No coming back from that. And as much as I'm sad that she's gone, in terms of the narrative, it was necessary. She was a casualty, an unnecessary casualty, of the actions of humans being awful to one another. Nina was never a monster. Waller was the monster. The princess was the monster. But Nina was an 'other'. She was expendable in Waller's eyes. That's why she was put on the Creature Commandos. Sent off to fight wars that weren't hers to fight. To suffer on their behalf so the humans don't have to. Die on their behalf. also of course nina dies and GI robot turns out to have been rebuilt. now its his turn to mourn her fuck you james gunn. Humans keep on being awful and we monsters pay the price.

Except this one time where the bride says fuck you.

[jewelulu]

JEWOYD FANKIDS INTRO!!

AKA the biggest headaches anyone has ever met~ (more under the cut)

Roxanne Leech

Likes: music, dancing, astrology, breaking rules, takoyaki

Dislikes: cold weather, normality, strict rules

Roxanne is the quiet one of the twins, her responses often quick and blunt and a personality so cold most people want to avoid her. However wherever she goes trouble follows aright after her. Her aggressive and rebellious personality always come out either when she’s performing or when she’s caught up with her brother. Much like her parents she’s not one to back down in a fight, getting her self caught in them now and then and even more so when her brother is involved. Although she’s good in academics she’s not fond of school as much, getting into trouble often for slacking off, coming in late or simply not showing up (like father like daughter) but does show a great talent for potions and anything magic related.

Doesn’t know how she got assigned to Pomifore but keeps trying to switch out but the continue to deny her request.

Random fact: has trespassed into several abandoned buildings to perform concerts and got arrested just once because of it.

Jun Leech

Likes: sports, winning, basketball, rocks, strawberries

Dislikes: losing, spicy food, being benched

Jun is the more extroverted and loud of the twins, he’s easier to approach and has an overall friendly personality, that is when he’s not competing. He becomes a completely different person when competing, he’s focused , cocky, arrogant and aggressive and his explosive shine through when he gets in the zone. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to win even even if it means getting into several spats with his own teammates or even physical fights with other teams, which always earn him a well earned spot on the bench. Still he’s able to dominate almost any sport he puts his mind to, his speed and agility shine through and is probably what keeps him on the team. Despite his laid back attitude, he’s actually incredibly smart. Being able to be resourceful and adapt quickly to whatever is thrown at him, he may not look like it but he also spends a lot of his time studying, and has a secret love for rocks, one that his parents don’t know where it stemmed from but he enjoys collecting them.

Random Fact: is good at picking locks, and knows how to forge almost anyone’s handwriting and uses that to pull pranks on people.

Tsuki Leech

Likes: sea creatures, climbing, swimming, scary or haunted artifacts, pranks

Dislikes: having her hat grabbed, slow readers,

Tsuki is the perfect combination of chaotic and clam. Her quiet and calm appearance is what makes her even more dangerous to those who don’t know her. She has a knack for causing chaos around her whether it’s pulling pranks on unsuspecting kids in her school or finding ways to scam her brother into giving her money, she has a trill for causing trouble around her and is very outspoken. Shes very extroverted and likes to talk up a storm about her interests, her older sister, or oddly specific facts she reads about. She doesn’t have much enthusiasm for competing in sports and finds it stupid, but she enjoys swimming either in her eel form or human form and it’s one of her favorite pass time. Dancing is another close second, picking it up after seeing her mother and sister dance. Shes grown to have a tendency to climb things as well, and somehow always finds a way to climb anything. Despite her sweet and innocent face she’s nothing but sarcastic , witty and aggressive, always quick with an insult, unlike her siblings she isn’t much of a fighter nor really caring for it, but she has fought other kids when it comes to having her hat or purse stolen.

Random fact: can make up the perfect sob story or lie on the spot, her acting is concerningly convincing.

~ More Leech Siblings Fun Facts ~

Both Roxanne and Jun are identical however the only thing that differentiates them are their heights, eye color placement and the fact that Roxanne has face piercings.

Both the twins have at least once pushed someone full force down a flight of stairs

All three siblings have sharp teeth just like their dad

Jun has a habit of impersonating his sister simply to annoy her and see how far he can get away with it

Roxanne broke Jun’s skateboard over his head once after catching him impersonating her

Roxanne’s band music is close to that of Nana (yes the anime lol) , Ado and that one Crime and Punishment song~

Tsuki’s personality is partially inspired by Louise Belcher :P

Jun hid in the dryer as a kid once and Roxanne turned it on

And because I couldn’t help myself, I also give you guys what their rooms look like hehe

Taglist: @skriblee-ksk @taruruchi @scint1llat3 @thehollowwriter @offorestsongs @jadelover69

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe - Creature Commandos: Part I - Introduction

In every comic book fanatic...there are two wolves.

There's the first wolf, the purist wolf, who has read all the canon, loves the comic book lore as it stands (no matter how ridiculous it is), and can tell you the unnecessarily complex backstory of that one character that no fully same person knows the backstory of (the Hawks for DC nerds, and any member of the Summers-Grey family for Marvel, for example). But the second wolf, the fan wolf, actively shares those characters and stories they love with other people, and thinks about those characters with its own headcanons and opinions.

Now, unlike the metaphorical inner wolves of normal people, these wolves are fed by external media. And when a comic book fan looks at a character or story they live, especially when its adapted, their wolves feast. The purist wolf feeds on accurately adapted characters, faithful to the page and to what they love to see. Meanwhile, the fan wolf just wants to see the adaptation, regardless of the changes, and loves to talk about it with other people who see it. Now, ideally, every comic book nerd has wolves that they feed in equal measure with books and media, especially if that media adapts comics well.

So, how are my wolves doing?

...Jesus Christ, when did the fan wolf learn how to walk on two legs? And use weaponry? And develop thumbs? And learn Spanish? And speak with the voice of acclaimed character actor Wagnar Moura? Well, shit, he's feeding pretty well as of late. Makes sense, there are a lot of adaptations nowadays, and comic books and associated media are considered mainstream! That means the purist wolf must be

Ah. It's dead.

Well, goddamn it, what the hell? Comic book purists have never really fed well, but it's not like they've been completely starved. As somebody who considers myself pretty flexible in my tolerance of character and story changes between media (different media means different narrative need and format), I often like the changes in adaptations. Plus, there have been plenty of changes that are at least faithful to the original spirit of the characters.

In Marvel, for example, every version of Spider-Man that we've seen in film has at least been faithful to the spirit of the character. Sure, Tobey's version wasn't very funny and created natural webbing, Garfield's version was arguably too cool for school and never said the whole responsibility thing, and Holland's version is way too reliant on other superheroes in his films, but ALL of them are still solid version of the webhead, in my opinion. Plus, hell, Into and Across the Spider-Verse are both more than enough fuel for a comic book purist, even with Shameik Moore's stupid-ass Tweets as of late.

And that's not even counting the Playstation Spider-Man, who's goddamn fantastic (BOTH of them in BOTH games), some of the animated Spider-Men (looking at you, *Spectacular Spider-Man*, unsurprisingly), and even fan-made versions of the character that have made the circulations as of late. Hell, adaptations have been doing better than the FUCKING COMIC BOOKS as of late when it comes to Spider-Man. But, OK, enough about Marvel. Not why I'm here. Just...bear with me, I'll get to the point.

DC has had plenty of faithful adaptations over the years, if not actual straight adaptations that also work all right. Young Justice, of course, is the most recently lauded animated adaptation, while older shows like Batman: The Brave and the Bold, the various shows of the DC Animated Universe (AKA the DCAU or Timmverse), and even more recent fare such as Harley Quinn shows at least an appreciation and familiarity with source material. That last one, admittedly, is a stretch, but Harley Quinn has genuinely surprised me with its attention to faithfulness, and its willingness to be more creative and funny with its alternate versions of classic characters. It was better in earlier seasons, though, just to be clear. But even then...passable.

There's also the animated film adaptations, which haven't been as good as they were in the late 200s and early 2010s, but still have some solid entries. The Crisis on Infinite Earths adaptations weren't perfect, but had their...sparse moments. The Long Halloween was actually quite a good adaptation of the difficult-to-adapt source material, as was Teen Titans: The Judas Contract (even if the TV series did it a little better, although much less accurate). Wonder Woman: Bloodlines is a recent adaptation that's actually VERY good, especially to those who love WW rogues. And if you haven't seen some of the older films, like Justice League: Doom, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Justice League: The New Frontier, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Batman: Year One, The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen, Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, Superman vs. the Elite, All-Star Superman, and Superman: Red Son...uh, yeah, please do, they're all excellent.

But, OK, with all of those adaptations, some as recent as last year, why is the purist feeling so deprived? Well...because the bad FAR outweighs the good, especially as of late. Just talking about DC (because Marvel is a bag of angry, screaming Flerkens), the movies have only given us THREE decent adaptations in the last 5 years: the underrated Blue Beetle, which is a quite accurate iteration of the character; Matt Reeves' The Batman, and the associated The Penguin (which was so afraid of comic books that they changed the main character's name to be "more grounded"), and The Suicide Squad, which is...a fitting film to bring up. Oh, and Birds of Prey doesn't count because it fucked over A LOT of characters, especially Cassandra Cain. Just sayin'.

In terms of TV series, well...Young Justice returned, but kinda fell off in the process for a lot of fans. The CW series, with the exception of the excellent Superman and Lois, are...something for another post. And there is Peacemaker, which is...again, fitting to bring up, but also incredibly complicated, and not beholden to accuracy for various reasons. And anything else...doesn't really rate discussion. Yeah, it hasn't been amazing for DC fans, while Marvel fans were eating pretty well in the last decade-and-a-half. So, imagine our delight and joy upon hearing that the DC cinematic universe would be remade by a bonafide comic book fan who was unafraid of the source material: James Gunn.

With Guardians of the Galaxy, Gunn had already proven he was able to swing and swing BIG when it came to comic book characters, having successfully adapted the titular Guardians, and Ego the Living Planet, of all characters. Yes, he severely fucked up Ronan the Accuser and Adam Warlock (like...REALLY badly), and also kinda Drax, but he also adapted Mantis successfully. FUCKING MANTIS. At the very least, he showed that he was willing to go for it. And then, after the firing-and-rehiring from Disney and being brought onto DC as a result, he made The Suicide Squad.

Understand what a miracle this film is, OK? Gunn makes GotG, it's a massive success, and Warner Bros. and DC notices that. So, they make their own GotG with blackjack and hookers in the form of David Ayers' Suicide Squad, which is TERRIBLE, and seen for the rip-off it was. Then, Gunn's old tweets pop up and he gets fired by Disney, and JUST before he gets rehired, WB swoops in and snags Gunn to revitalize the film series that ripped off HIS film series IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND IT FUCKING WORKS. Not only does Gunn make a GOOD Suicide Squad movie that people actually LIKE, but he also adapts King Shark, Starro the Conqueror, and fucking POLKA-DOT MAN!!! And he gets Jon Cena to play Peacemaker, WHICH LAUNCHES ITS OWN FRANCHISE BY ITSELF!!! And with that, Gunn gets brought on to run the DC cinematic universe as their own Kevin Fiege. FUCKING POLKA DOT MAN??? It's incredible!

...Right?

Like I said, Gunn's The Suicide Squad seems like a miracle. Excellent performance, a lot of cool characters to introduce from the DC Universe, and a crazy-ass showdown that does DC Comics some justice. But, uh...hold on a second. The wolf is still starving over here. Because this film cleverly seems like a miracle. In reality, while Gunn made a fun film to watch, he also severely fucked over comic book nerds in a myriad of different ways with this film, because he set a dangerous precedent, while also continuing an irritating trend that he'd previously helped to promote. That trend? In-name only characters, AKA references for the sake of references.

...Fan-service. Gunn is a master of good-looking fan service.

Look, creative license is great, honestly. It's also incredibly necessary. But Gunn has found a way to put in superficial references that draw in comic book nerds, or the comic-book knowledgeable, while also not really even caring about the source material. Sometimes, it doesn't matter. Polka-Dot Man, AKA Abner Krill, is essentially a joke character that Gunn took and made into an actual character. No comic book nerd gives a SHIT that Polka-Dot Man was a Batman villain from the '60s who committed dot-based crimes, using various special devices and gadgets that he turned into dots that he wore. He's essentially a blank-slate of a character, and Gunn took that and changed it completely, but also made the character memorable and interesting (as did actor David Dastmalchian, of course).

In fact, Gunn did the exact same thing with a whole slew of bit characters in the beginning of the movie. Lemme give you a shortlist of the comic book characters that appear in The Suicide Squad, outside of the main cast of character.

Javelin*,Savant*, Blackguard*, Mongal*, Captain Boomerang*, Weasel**, Thinker*, Kaleidoscope**, Double Down**, Calendar Man**, Ratcatcher*, Starro the Conqueror**, and technically Arm-Fall-Off...Man*. Holy shit, that's a lot of characters! What's that you ask? What do the asterisks mean? Ah, right, sorry, I should explain. Characters with two asterisks have little more than a single brief appearance, just for a quick joke or a "hey look, they're here" appearance. And the single asterisks? Those characters die.

And yeah, OK, it's a "Suicide Squad" movie, death is part of the equation. But look at some of those characters again. Mongal? She's an extraterrestrial conqueror, and the daughter of a major Superman and Green Lantern villain. Definitely could be used better than dying LIKE A PUNK. And why is that character even in Task Force X? Starro the Conqueror? I mean, maybe they pull something off and bring him back for a later film, but that's a WORLD-ENDING THREAT, and a fucking JUSTICE LEAGUE villain! And...wait a second, did Gunn kill CAPTAIN FUCKING BOOMERANG???

One of the most iconic members of EVERY comic book iteration of the Suicide Squad (and therefore a survivor), one of the most iconic members of Flash's Rogues, and one of the only semi-decent things about Ayers' Suicide Squad? You gave Weasel, fucking Weasel, a post-credit scene where he survives the beach massacre, and Boomer is just fucking SHAFTED??? For what can only be assumed is a shitty SHOCK-DEATH? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DECISION IS THAT???

Look...I actually like The Suicide Squad, I swear. It's a fun film, it is a Suicide Squad movie, and it does a good job with character development and the story of the team. Bloodsport and Peacemaker are great rivals and fun-as-hell characters, Margot Robbie gets a chance to actually shine as Harley Quinn, Ratcatcher and King Shark are great, and the fact that Flag and Polka-Dot Man die is actually genuinely affecting. Plus, shit, they made Starro the Conqueror FUCKING TERRIFYING, especially because he's a big dumpy STARFISH!!! I do like it! But...man, these are some controversial fucking choices, and I've never liked them.

And the big problem now? Gunn is running the DCU.

And again, I don't think that's inherently a bad thing, but...man, it has me worried. Hell, look at Peacemaker. While it was a great showcase for its eponymous character (and Jon Cena is stellar in the role), it introduces two characters that get kinda screwed, while also giving a kind of nothing-burger of a villain. I mean, I love Vigilante in the show, but Adrian was a fucking judge in the comics, not a complete sociopathic moron. Funny, yeah, but not the character. And Judomaster? Damn, did that character get completely shafted. Another in-name-only character, even though he's not a character I've ever been super-devoted to.

My problem is this: if Gunn approaches all of his projects, and the DCU at large, the same way he approached The Suicide Squad and Guardians of the Galaxy, this isn't gonna work. And that's not just in terms of how the characters are written or treated, it's his practices of pumping characters into his films, only to dump them and ruining them for the future of the universe as a whole. I mean, hell, he even did it to Marvel. Ronan the Accuser, Ego, and the High Evolutionary are gone from the MCU, despite being characters of enormous potential. But hey, is this a rational fear, or am I worrying for no reason? Well...cue the trumpets.

Earlier today, I finished watching Gunn's Creature Commandos, having kept up with it throughout the season. And understand, when this film was announced, I was super excited about it! I love the Creature Commandos in concept, and they've had a few incarnations throughout the years. It's a fascinatingly fun idea, and I was looking forward to seeing how the characters were adapted. I had my questions and concerns, especially about the roster, but I was intrigued. And what we got was...well, second after I finished it, I wrote this post. And that has sponsored what you're currently reading. So, uh...I have some notes.

Yeah, this is one of those rare occasions where something has made me SO irrationally frustrated, so very and incredibly irritated, I had to write a goddamn essay series about it. And yeah, this is only the first one of these. Can't help it. I'm kinda pissed off. Because Gunn wasted this team, ruined a fair number of characters for the DCU going forward, eradicated a pile of possibilities, and STILL GOT A SEASON 2 APPROVED FOR THIS SHOW. God, I'm worried. And I gotta tell somebody about it.

So, to the...I dunno, 1 to 5 people who actually read this essay, inclduing those whom I know personally (you know who you are, how ya doin'), thanks for reading and, if you're interested, stay tuned. A lot of unnecessary nerd-whining to come, believe you me. And more than a few headcanons, because I'm giving this the same treatment as my Superman essays. So, yeah, buckle in. It's gonna be a ride.

Part One: Introduction and Adaptation Part Two: The Original Creature Commandos

[paragonrobits]

to be fair, the likes of Nightcrawler and Beast still have 'ostracized by society and unable to live normal lives because they're obviously Not Regular Humans' is still a core part of their characters!

So the first thought I got about this is that this IS the Marvel universe, the same setting where authorities regularly create and send out robots speciifcally created to genocide mutants and mutant-adjacent people and the public at large generally doesn't care. It's quite possible that monsterfucker demographic is LOWER than in real life, because its an actual possible thing and widespread discrimination against obviously nonhumans means its possible that fewer people will admit to being into it.

The second bit is, lets say the monsterfucker demographic IS the same as in real life; the biggest issue I can see popping up is actually applying those feeligns to someone you meet in real life MIGHT not be a best case scenario. The Thing is a walking monster made of living stone and explicitly is bizarre and ugly looking; that might be enough to get a lot of people to be unable to overcome their revulsion, even if in theory they'd be attracted to a monster-looking creature.

But let's say that doesn't happen! They're still attracted to him.

That doesn't mean he'd feel good about it, I think?

Ben Grimm's character is heavily based around his internalized feelings of rejection and monstrosity; he canonically hid his heritage for YEARS because he thought being a prominent Jewish man with such a monstrous appearance would only inflame antisemitic violence and rhetoric, more extreme versions of him are shown to be very literally self-destructive, and his character is deeply based around him feeling like a monster despite being the most heroic guy around. He's noble, honest and always goes the extra mile to save someone in need, but he still feels like a freak.

Compounding this is the fact that he can't really live a normal life, even without any rejection happening from others. His manual dexterity is severely limited due to the shape of his fingers, he sometimes has extremely limited sense of touch (which can throw off a LOT of sensory stuff), and sometimes his strength is hard to control, making him struggle to open a door and accidentally break it as he loses patience, leaving him to mournfully grumble about what's the point of bein' the strongest if ya can't even OPEN A DOOR without breaking it and owing someone money over it?

but I think the biggest issue is monsterfuckers being a big part of his demographic in-universe would make him feel worse?

something like, him being resentful or upset that they ONLY find him attractive for his grotesque appearance, and being found attractive over something you can't stand in yourself is usually something that sets people off, and he is already established as going the extra mile to find something to feel doubtful and self-critical over.

Ben Grimm's whole thing about being shunned by society wouldn't work in a modern Fantastic Four adaptation.

Like if the Thing debuted in the modern day, it wouldn't even take a day for a million monsterfuckers to publicly proclaim their thirst for the guy.

[pigeocore]

You know one thing about Toki is that he's loving, not nice. He's a fucking asshole at times in fact but he has love and joy in his heart

[buqbite]

Halo

[blackhholes]

teen wolf meme: [4/6] creatures -> chimeras

You found the perfect word, though, Scott... Because a Chimera isn't just a monster with different parts. It can also mean something impossible to achieve. An unrealizable dream.