alchemicalterror

[alchemicalterror]

One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you don’t even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaid’s dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasn’t even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isn’t proof that you should keep going I don’t know what is.

[alchemicalterror]

what's your favorite piece of clothing?

Oh, child,

Ain’t nothing like a custom tailored suit.

[alchemicalterror]

[alchemicalterror]

have you ever had to walk with a cane? i ate shit running off stage during my performance of romeo and juliet yesterday and rolled my ankle, injuring a tendent in my foot. im now using a cane to keep weight off of it, but its a lot to get used to.

Needed to, naw, not for medical reasons anyhow. I have two or three canes around here for fashion reasons, though.

Most of my injuries have been of the concussive variety. Or a broken nose, here or there, not so much legs.

[alchemicalterror]

My friend saw that blue shirt you wear, the one with the... er... red handprint. And the one with the referee stripes.... She was concerned. That's all just aesthetic, right?

Y'all don't talk to a lot of casual old goths, huh.

Yeah, no, they're just printed patterns. I'm not gonna wear bloodstains while crashing in my favorite old chair.

[alchemicalterror]

I'm so in love with Ghoul.....What the hell am I going to do? The only time I'm truly happy is when I'm near him at a rave. We shared a dance once. The lights where flashing, it was raining confetti and glitter and just the look in his eyes......I felt like I was in heaven for a moment....He's so beautiful Dr. Crane. Please take good care of him and protect him.

..... Sigh.

I'm tryin' real hard not to nitpick your phrasing here, and I want you to appreciate that, kid.

But yeah, I'm not gonna kick him to the curb anytime this side of him wanting to stick around, don't you worry any.

But um. This? This is the object of your affection? Okay.

[alchemicalterror]

....Hm.

Man I don't know why you're still at Crane's, what's he even got left to teach you? He's like a hundred years behind you on chemistry research, he's a weird sleazy old fart, the way he talks about you makes it sound like he's got some weird complex about you being a kid. You could do better on your own, maybe you'd find your way home if he wasn't keeping you there.

So... despite the free warehouse space and supplies to work with, as well as free room and board when I was stranded in a completely unfamiliar world, fair wages, and the free mentorship support from an inspirational figure in my life... you think he's holding me back?

I'm not sure what makes you think that a chemist like me has any background in the quantum physics of space and time, or would know how to manipulate it. You go ahead and start building a time machine out of chewing gum and twine without manuals, tell me how it goes. Pretty sure what's holding me back is a lack of material and a lack of proficiency, way more than my housemates.

As for the doctor...

Let me give it to you directly: I hate my father. Dr Crane is more of a father figure than anyone else has ever been, and he's respectful of the fact that he'll never get the "dad" title despite wanting it.

It's nice to have an adult in my life that actually listens to me, shares my interests, and values my input and opinions as an intelligent human being, and having a domestic life that isn't a war of attrition between myself, the staff, and my absentee parents is pretty nice. I'm learning how to cook. I'm not starving in a subway. I'm not fighting to stay alive, and I'm actually enjoying myself living with the guy.

I can take the piss out of him, but you watch your mouth. If you're worried about my situation, why don't you ask about that instead of giving him shit behind his back? I'm no ingrate, and taking swings at him because you wanna know why I don't have my own apartment is uncalled for.

[alchemicalterror]

becoming an adult cheat sheet!

learn to coupon

what to do when you can’t afford therapy

cleaning your bathroom

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

stress management

quick fix meals

find out if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

resume workshop

organize your closet

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

what you should bring to a doctor’s appointment

what’s a mortgage?

how to pick a health insurance plan

hotlines list

your first gynecology appointment

what to do if the cops pull you over

things to have in your car in case of emergency

my moving out masterpost

how to make friends as an adult (video)

how to do taxes (video)

recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)

change a flat tire (video)

how to do laundry (video)

opening a bank account (video)

laundry cheat sheet

recipes masterpost

tricks to help you sleep more

what the fuck should you make for dinner?

where should you go for drinks?

alcohol: know your limits

easy makeup tips

find seat maps for your flight

self-defense tips

prevent hangovers

workout masterpost

how to write a check

career builder

browse careers

birth control information

financial management software & app (free)

my mental health masterpost

my college applications masterpost

how to jumpstart a car

sex ed masterpost

[alchemicalterror]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[alchemicalterror]

The Penitent Magdalene

Mateo Cerezo⏤ 17th century

[alchemicalterror]

February 8th of which year, child? And which part of Georgia, for that matter? It's kind of a big state, and all that.

@my-rights-are-grian-rights

[alchemicalterror]

I'm not sure if it snows much in Gotham, but I know you're from Georgia, so have you ever had a snowball fight? Or made a fort? I come from Canada, so when we were little, we would make snow forts at recess. For whatever reason, the grade always ended up divided, and there was usually a war between two or three forts and the kids that "belonged" to them. We would also set up a snow/ice block economy, and I was usually the store owner. You traded a few smaller snow balls for a bigger one. I liked it because I liked carving the blocks into fun shapes using the mesh fence (and also because it meant not getting hit with snow balls). Anyway. I guess Canadian children are strange.

So I remember this one time when I was a kid, back in the 1960's or so - '68, I think, but don't quote me on that; you gotta understand I was a teenager at the time - I remember that Georgia had record snowfall.

Folks went mad about it, whole cities shut down. We didn't have a television, and there weren't no way pa was gonna drive in to the pub to watch the news reports in town, so we had to make do with hear-say on the radio in the living room, but I remember clear as day all the warnings folks got. Athens was at a stand-still, even Atlanta - State Capital - all but called in over the inclement weather.

And it was beautiful, I remember. Hadda go out in it, make sure what few animals we had were warm, chickens and whatnot. A real winter wonderland. Ma bundled me up in about every shirt I owned all at once, and at least three pairs of pants, that morning.

Now, Gotham gets snow. It's a lot further north than Georgia, closer to Canada and all, and even if it weren't, Dr. Fries likes things a particular way this time of year, but that record snow fall back in my younger years still sticks with me. Besides, I didn't move here til I was thirty.

It was a whole two inches deep. That's 5.08cm for those of you using a sane measuring system.

No, can't say I've got much experience in snow-related childhood activities.

[alchemicalterror]

You know, rivers catching on fire used to be a regular occurrence.

[alchemicalterror]

Idk if anyone has asked this before… but like… The Joker has his gas that makes people laugh, right? What would happen if you were to, say, mix his gas with yours? 👀 Hypothetically... For science, you know...

Had. Past tense. He died quite a while ago, and took that formula with him to the grave.

So hypothetically speaking, I guess science will never know.

[alchemicalterror]

Get those last minute votes in while you can.

i have a hard time believing you were ever married i mean you run a tumblr blog

....Uh-huh. Right. Hey folks, social experiment time:

[alchemicalterror]

Don't know if this got asked already (I tend to mostly look at the art on here due to reading attention issues) but what made fear your muse as opposed to similar primal feelings like anger or lust? Was there something specific about it that sets it apart from the rest of the emotional experience spectrum? (feel free to just link to the explanation if it already exists, sorry to bother if so)

I have answered it before, yes, but if reading makes your head spin, I can make it nice and simple:

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

To give a more nuanced answer, however.... See below.

Fear is one of the two fundamental emotions of the human soul, the two driving forces that compels us to do anything, the other being love. Anger, hatred, despair, joy, all the more complicated emotional states of humanity boil down into being some combination of Love and Fear.

Folks generally have a bad relationship with their fear response, however. They malign it, and don't see it as the survival tool that it is, and when it is ignored, pushed away, and wrongfully indulged, it becomes bad coping mechanisms and neurotic, knee-jerk behaviors instead of a tool with which we measure our lives and our place within it.

Fear, when appropriately weighed against other things, can make sure that we are safe, we are happy, and we are where we want to be - and it will tell us what is too valuable to lose, what we will fight tooth and nail for.

If I can help folks become comfortable with their fear, sit with it, come to understand it as the foundational emotion that it is... I think we'll all be better for it, collectively.

Just because something scares you, doesn't mean you need to lash out. It means it oughta be examined. Fear isn't something we, as people need to avoid; but it is something that we should strive to better comprehend, because growing comfortable with discomfort allows us to push ourselves to reach for things that we might not have found possible, otherwise.

[alchemicalterror]

Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.

If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.

Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.

That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.

Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.