#He's my man since i was like 8 years
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The simping for Manolo is so real of you ahjsjs
I used to like him too ahjssks
I LOVE THAT MAN SINCE I SAW THE MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2014, GO TO WATCH THE MOVIE ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE (and only) MEMORIES
THE LAST YEAR MY MOM BOUGHT ME HIS TOY OF MCDONALD'S AND I WAS BURSTING I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH
HE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!
#He's my man since i was like 8 years#My dad took me to the cinema for my birthday#I love the movie and him so much#monty💫#Dumy simps💋#ruler is a fangirl👑
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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Ice exposing how JJ and his girlfriend Thanaerng sweetly call each other "baby" in Sound Check EP. 10 (19 January 2021)
+ bonus: Ice laughing after exposing his bestie's love life on national TV while JJ tries to bury his face in embarassment
#jaylerr#jj krissanapoom#ice paris#thanaerng#thanaerng kanyawee#thanaerngnin#thai actors#clairedgifs#jaynaerng#thaidramaedit#thai variety#userspring#nadao#nadao bangjok#my parents#8 years and going strong... god i love them so much#girlies who have been here since project s shoot i love you yall deserve a gold medal#i wish jaynaerng and their 10 cats the happiest life (im not kidding like jj has 2 and naerng got like 8)#you have to watch the way jj talks about naerng... he's besotted head over heels... sometimes im like man get the fuck up but i get him
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man the way six's head WHIPS 2 glare at mono after he breaks the music box
#i forgot she did that and it caught me off guard LMAO . silly but also Fuckkkk my heart#these poor kiddos never had a chance#and her posture is noticeably changed :( she's hunched over starin at the ground#immediate sign that Something Isnt Right#thats part of what i adore sm about little nightmares It's never ever stated what's going on b/c no dialogue#you need to Pay attention to their body language and their actions and shit#it's why i side eye people who r like ... ooh six.... shes Evil omg..... ucan see from the start of the game...#or she saw mono's face n recognized him as the thin man#the first 1. u dont know what tha hell u r talking abotu Im sorry but did u even PLAY tha game. or you're like 8 years old LMAO#and the second one HOW!!! mono's baby ass face looks Nothin like the thin man#and did u forget he spent the last 10 minutes basically beating the shit out of her . like we know why he did it but six#she was in another state of mind bruh#put urself in her shoes . Or her jacket since she doesnt wear shoes heehee#my rambles#little nightmares
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Called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday and we spent an hour discussing what I was doing with my life 😭
#my uncle wants me to go get a PhD in quant or finance or information systems and then become a professor#OR#be a lawyer or a dentist#the PhD thing was very specifically catered when I was like 👉🏽👈🏽 I wanna teach#none of those things sound all that appealing..#space law Has Potential#but I think it would make me want to rip my hair out#they were both like. you have two years but then figure your life out by then#and then they were like. what is ur cousin doing. has he proposed yet#and I was like ??? it hasn’t even bee n a year?? I think they’re going to Japan#and oopsies apparently he had not told them they were going to Japan#my bad#after I. very reasonably said it makes sense to wait 2-3 years#he went ‘what is there going to be left to talk about then. life is all downhill from there. might as well get married now’#and. I’ve never ever ever heard that from a human being before#WHAT DO U MEAN YOULL RUN OUT OF THINGS TO TALK ABOUT#I could never#anyways love having my existential crises exacerbated by familial interactions#they just Say Things#I need to study. I’m gonna go do that maybe#actually no I want to complain more. my uncle keeps saying that the problem with space is that there’s only a few cities that work on it.#and that’s gonna limit my choice of partner#(so funny how they say partner. they are very homophobic and have no idea or they’d go THE MAN YOU MARRY like my mother does)#I feel like space is growing…#altho I’m sure that’s what people thought in the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s#idk some of these bitches have been around since like the 70s and 80s and 90s#so it’s not like they all got fired immediately#my dental hygienist was telling me space was great until Obama slashed the budget#I didn’t have anything to say back considering I was 8 when he was elected and know v little about his policies#anyways. this is a psa to not call ur relatives even to wish them happy bday because then they’ll trap u in conversation and make u question
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Actually started playing The Stanley Parable and godddd. this game is so freaky I love it a lot
#Me and The Stanley Parable have a bit of weird relationship cause I remember thinking it was really interesting and cool-#-when the original first came out! I remember watching a youtube lets play of it like. constantly#See I could've sworn it was DanTDM (I would've been 8 years old) but apparently he didn't play it. so it must have been someone else#obviously being 8 years old I didn't have access to anything that I could play it on. so it's been on my. to play list. since I was like. 8#man I wish I could remember more of the YouTuber's I watched because I only remember Dan ^^;#but yeah kind of feels surreal finally playing a game I've admired for that long aha ^^;#the stanley parable#tsp#Android.txt
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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what are your thoughts on the rhys darby merman? I saw people calling it cringe and while I do think darby's performance in that scene was.. a bit not it, the idea itself is really funny and cool to me idk
okay honestly i think i'm gonna have an extremely niche opinion on this because i am like. clinically insane about mermaids like seriously i've been begging my parents to get me one of those swimmable fins since i was like 8 and then i ended up buying one for myself on the internet w my pocket money when i was like. 12-14 idk?? coz they refused to and now i own three. so. literally any opinion i could have on mermaid stede is trumped by me being distracted by the tail coz it's like. they spent so much time and effort on it and it's still kinda bad like omg i can see like so many ways they could've done it better because they literally painted each individual scale which is SO MUCH EFFORT. but the way they laid the scales makes it look like the pattern is just printed on like it's literally a 3d hand painted tail that looks like they got it for 30 dollars on ebay especially bc the silicone doesn't have enough hold so you can still see the human legs under it like you would with a regular printed tail. like if they just overlaid the scales instead of putting them next to each other that'd already be a major improvement like. i cant find the specific video now but like ppl DIYing silicone tails at home usually overlay the scales and it just immediately looks so much better. also i'm not rly a fan of big flashy side fins but that's just personal taste but like tldr they clearly spent a lot if time and effort and money on the tail and it's sad because with a few minor adjustments it could've looked wayyy better
as for like the actual scene i think it's extremely good and cute and the ppl who dislike it hate fun and need to let camp into their hearts. ed's face going all soft and lovey has been playing in my mind on loop ever since and that's not a joke
#sorry I've spent years of my life watching ppl make tails and watching ppl swim with them and#I've made my own and i own 2 monofins and 3 tail skins and if i was slightly more insane and#slightly less poor I would've had a silicone one custom made but thankfully I held back coz#those shits are INSANELY expensive like. hundreds to thousands of dollars#sorry for the random lore dump lol i dont think I've ever talked abt this before#it all started when my mother showed me an article when i was around 8 that was about a#man who had a mermaid tail he would wear to swim in a creek near his house and#she was like wow isn't he so weird i bet he's gay:/ and i was like he is the coolest person i have ever fucking seen#i wonder how he is now ..... also yeah he came out as gay and i think has a husband but it's been a few years since I checked so idk#i got mail!
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#vent#man I need to scream about this so bad...#so just like ignore the tags if you dont wanna see me venting about the abuse and ableism and biphobia my bf and i are facing#A year ago me and my bf moved out together#for reference we were 24 and 25 at the time and wed been dating 8 years#my bfs parents absolutely flipped out. like complete meltdown#his mom called me and yelled at me calling me all kinds of names and saying she thinks im manipulating her son#screaming at me and anything I said just made her get more mad#His dad also hid his keys so me and my sister had to drive him to work#she called my parents too to try and have them break us up#which just made my parents say my boyfriend is welcome to stay with us if he feels unsafe#which ive never heard them offer to someone so it was BAD bad#well we moved out anyways and my bf has been way happier and healthier since leaving his parents#well new year comes around and they call him and have this huge conversation about how theyve realized they were wrong#and how they want to apologize to me and how theyre proud of him and they think he did the right thing#well my bf finally agrees to talk to them again after a year of no contact so he and his mom go to lunch#and immediately his mom says actually no i dont want to apologize to deo#she's weird and her art is weird and I dont like her#and i think she's taking advantage of you because she cant drive#she insulted my family and said he should break up with me because I'm disabled#she said i have no right to draw gay people and that it's weird I write gay stories#just. incredibly mean.#and the worst bit is that she's abusing my bf like this in my name#saying she wouldnt be like this if i were different. a different girl or a different person or less 'weird'#its been horrible and I'm so tired. at least we're moving again so she wont know where we live#a year of this shit man#delete later#sorry to the people who already know about this I'm just really struggling with it and having a hard time moving past it
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#today on: Allie Liveblogs Her Parents’ Divorce:#two and a half fucking hour long phone call with my dad about how he thinks my mom is the problem#in the INSANE dynamic they have going on with his 24 year old lesbian employee who is LIVING WITH THEMMMMMMM#and him doing his signature I Am Just A Reasonable Man Perceiving The Situation Objectively shtick#us both mouthing I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!! at the phone#ohhhhhh he wanted us to say she should just get over her frustration and then there wouldn’t be a problem#and she shouldn’t be frustrated in the first place because the problems Aren’t Even Legitimate Problems Because They Could Be Worse#and like. my mom has been bringing up divorce to us since 2019 and he has expressed that he wants to improve the marriage recently#and they uh. got married due to a miscommunication and are entirely incompatible LOL like i’ve been Trying but this call made me feel like…#Its So Over My Dudes#but apparently he thinks their marriage is NOT on thin ice it’s a 9/10#revised to ‘idk MAYBE it’s an 8/10’ when he told us he doesn’t think. in 34 years. they have ever had a two sided conversation…#they Have Never Once Had A Conversation by his recounting. thats not true but it IS an insane thing to say STEVE#ohhhhhh he makes me mad ohhhhh i’ve been in my Dad Anger era for a couple months and he brought it to the SURFACE tonight babey!!!!!!!!!#ohhhhhhhh he does not respect his wife he does not try to understand her he does not think of her as a real person#and i mean. she’s nuts and takes her feelings out on everyone around her!!! she is only just now seeking to manage her adhd#but she tries so hard for him and he’s just. full of shit and i’m sick of him. ok cutting myself off but this has been:#ALHPD#which will be the tag now ig if anyone wants to mute LOL#ohhhhhhhhhh this has dealt me so much psychic damage i have so much evil energy now lmao#ohhhhhh 🔪🔪🔪👨🏻🪚🪚🪚#🔨🔨🔨🔨#🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈#ok that’s all
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Being genderflud for me is always a mess
#Miranda talking shit#No ok it isnt... But ivr always been a.. 'tomboy' ot whatever and never been a girly girl... I mean i had to play makeup and#Dress up doll for my sister until i was 5 but after that i basically abruptly stopped wearing any dresses unless i had to...#Only thing appearance wise i kept that was feminine was long hair. Idek why i did that? Maybe bc ive always had it so i just kept it... Or#Maybe bc it was the few feminine things i had. Ive had such difficulty with my name. In the teen years it eas severe#But i still never ... Changed it? To this day i haven't. I have my online name having an mr in it but i always give my name and i mean#Yeah... I like being referred to as bro/dude and such but usually don't like being referred to as a girl... I dont hate it usually but im#Indiffrent? Maybe why ive been struggling with sx isnt only bc of my shit self esteem and that but also with gender. I know if i would have#Had the option id want to been born a guy. I mean... Most days at least i think so. Bc i am uncomfortable with my shape and organs. The#Fact i have buubs makes me wamt to shrivel up and perish. But i also mostly love my tighs. Maybe bc i like that on others as well..#Heck idk. Sometimes i want to really go all out and make myself look cute and girly but i dont havr the confidence or knowledge#So instead i keep wearing what I've been since i was 8 yrd old (big hoodie or tshirt + jeans/sweatpants) would lovr to know someone#Whos into make up and fashion who would teach me and take me out and pick mr outfits. But also i dont think im cute enough to do that#Not cute enough and not cool enough to be a boy ... Im an oddly shaped blob /:#I dont know what i am i just let people call me whatever they want. Its a shame itd usually a girl. Thr time a kid called me 'boy' i was#Genuinely happy but then their parent corrected them and i was like damn... He had it man he knew what was up#Maybe I'd not struggle as much if i was skinny bc 98% of my time I've been overweight so..curves comes with the territory#My moms genes also got me the biggest cake in history like i cant lose it i think its permanent. It can get bigger tho
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🌻
#idk whether i find my dad's refusal to see me as a functioning adult to be mostly cute or mostly obnoxious#cos it's like...i moved out from my parents' place in mid-2014. i've been living an 11h(-ish) drive from their place since then#so i've been managing w/o their constant presence & direct input for over a decade. and i've done so reasonably well#like i've always paid my rent and bills on time and i've learned how to cook and clean and do basic home repairs and i've never--#--made any choices that put my own or other people's well being and/or safety at risk#in other words there's absolutely no reason why my parents (mostly my dad) should doubt my ability to deal with--#--normal everyday life-things and to figure out solutions when a problem arises#yet when the time came to change to winter tyres on the car my dad insisted on making the fucking 11h drive TO DO IT FOR ME#and for context: there's a mountain pass separating my home ''town'' aka where my parents live from where i live#and that mountain pass is snowy and miserable and lowkey dangerous to cross by car this time of year#and i was just like dude i can change my own fucking tyres and if i for some reason decide that i can't--#--then i'll just get the pros to do it? you don't have to drive all that way to do it for me like i'm still 18 and just got my license?#but no he made the drive and changed the tyres for me and would barely even LET ME HELP. like i just stood there and handed him--#--the tools like i was 8 years old again BUT at one point i was allowed to tighten the bolts on one of the wheels:)#except not really cos as soon as i was done he went over them to check that i'd done it properly#and don't get me wrong he's not an overbearing man at all. he's not a besserwisser. he tends to stay back and let me live my life#it's just when it comes to things that could in theory pose a threat to my safety or general well-being--#--that he decides that uhhh actually you're still 13 years old as far as i'm concerned and i need to do my fatherly duty here#makes me think of when i went home last year to spend a few days there and both my parents were like--#--wait wtf do you mean you know how to operate a washing machine#and i was kinda just like.....bro what#what exactly do you people think i've been doing with my laundry for the last almost-decade#and don't even get me started on when they realised i knew how to cook#again: my dad is not overbearing and neither is my mum. they're generally very laid back and always have been#and i love them and i'm so grateful for everything they have done and continue to do for me#but also holy shit i'm almost 30 years old and somehow they remain baffled that i'm not still the 19yo that moved out in 2014
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God I fucking hate that I cry so easily. someone suck this estrogen out of me please. No innuendo there just a cartoonishly large syringe
#like bro get mad! feel your blood boil! see red! punch some drywall!#but I got these stupid ass tears instead#this is the stupidest thing to be dysphoric about. like I wish I was less in touch with my emotions </3#like an emotionally distant 25 year old man who hasn't cried since his goldfish died when he was 8#and who wonders why girlfriends never stick around </3
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can't sleep
#slept terribly last night can i please get some rest. please#coworker misgendered me yday and i think this guy rly dislikes me. it's mutual but i have reasons that are not shitty#my reasons = he misgenders me and gives me the creep#his reasons = ? i'm trans ? he's a weirdo and not in a good way ?#but now i keep thinking abt it and abt how lots of ppl assume i'm a woman#that doesn't feel nice especially after years on t. like mostly i've made my peace with it it's whatever i'm not a very masculine person#and i don't even want to be#but sometimes i wish i could wear nail polish and talk the way i talk and have the mannerisms i have and all that without ppl thinking i'm#a woman. like i'm not. i'm not fucking anything please stop assigning me genders#it's so frustrating being nonbinary sometimes. even the least uncomfortable of the binary options ppl insist on labeling me with is#uncomfortable and feels wrong#and i know. i know. this is just how the world works. ppl assume you're one or the other. i have to deal with it#and i do mostly but sometimes i get so frustrated by it bc it's just. it hurts me that it's this way and it feels so constrictive#also my mum misgendered me too today and she didn't even correct herself so that was the nail in the coffin of my feeling bad#man it's been almost exactly 8 years since i came out to her (it was on coming out day)#i can't believe she can't try a little harder#maybe i want too much bc things are better than they were but is it really too much to ask that she stops misgendering me altogether#then again talking about trans things with her has never gotten less uncomfortable so i guess she's just. never going to be truly#comfortable with my transness and i can only be grateful things are better and not ask for more#that sucks tho. i know many have it worse but i'm just tired#strangers misgender me my family misgenders me coworkers misgender me too sometimes like. when can i stop living with the woman label#forcibly put on me. i don't want it. there's nothing wrong with it but it's NOT me so i don't fucking want it#i'm sad. i don't want to feel like this forever
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#kat talks#is it weird that i still have the gift/s this guy gave me for my 18th birthday#he had a crush on me and i still hold a lot of guilt over how i handled the situation tbh#full on had a dream i was able to apologise to him like. last week or smth.#anyways he folded me a bunch of paper cranes and got me a bracelet and handmade + illustrated a card#man idk i feel like my fear/anxiety (about multiple different things) at the time made me kinda like#idk i would really like to apologise to him#but i. im conscious im the type to hold onto the past really tightly so like#to reach out.. what like 8 years later is 🧍🏻♂️#wait EIGHT no it has not been eight years#....#five. just five.#okay i scared myself there#but anyways ive seen him a few times since (like from a distance) and i know hes seen me from a distance and chosen not to come up to say hi#(even tho his friends did) (but i feel like it was more to tease me/him or smth idk how to explain it but thats the vibes i got)#so idk i guess i just dint wanna risk like. bringing up unmecessary things esp if hes moved on#🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️🧍🏻♂️
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He's so damn pretty... I also need suggestions for what to draw with him, possibly Jolie, possibly Trap if I can figure out how to draw him.
#hawkeye pierce#i just love them so much#m*a*s*h#they melt my heart damn it#m*a*s*h 4077#mashblr#Please let me kiss your nose softly#why is he so yummy?#I need a moot to make matching pfp for please...#this man haas lived rent free in my head since I was like 8 years old#i need therapy
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