#He's like: Doctor Who? --- I can't
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eleven is fascinating to me because he came right off the back of tens horrible traumatic breakdown after he lost everything and he immediately tried to establish himself as the opposite of that. he is funny and goofy and almost childlike, and he bulldozes on in his adventures with amy like nothing happened at all. but then something happens and his masks slips and it's like oh! the core of this man is still anger. he is so so angry all of the time and this façade is the only thing stopping him from being consumed by it. he isn't over any of it and he hasn't moved on. he is wearing a fez and laughing but under that all that exists is age old anger and grief and it is going to consume him
#i do think that this pit of anger was eventually covered and soothed by the ponds#but he didn't adress it and he couldn't even look at it until he was twelve#when he stopped pushing back and repressing everything and finally allowed himself to exist as he was#but ok listen#its all layed out in the first 3 episodes of season 5 and in the way amy sees him#episode 1. here is the new doctor he is energetic and reeling and fun#episode 2. the space whale comparison. here is the new doctor. he is unthinkably ancient and almost godlike but he is so so kind#and patient and good. he is ancient and lonely but he can't stand to see children cry. so the doctor helps people#episode 3. daleks. the doctor is a soldier. these are his age old enemies. he wants them dead and he will stop at nothing#all logic and reason vanish. he is hitting the dalek with a pipe and yelling his head off while amy watches in horror#like obviously we know why but amy didnt#this is not a sane or rational man he is unstable and angry#and in that episode he was stripped back to what he largely is: hate#you would make a good dalek ect ect ect#anyway 3 episodes with 3 very distinct and equally definitely traits layed out like: here you go#i don't like elevens era much but those first 3 episodes were great#doctor who#eleven#amy#eleventh doctor#matt smith#dr who#dw#i mean idk this is what river literally had to spell out for him#eleven was careening completely out of control#how long til doctor means warrior indeed?#mine
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The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userveronika#userteri#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#doctor x clara#twelveclara#*#I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS.#ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO.#I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE.#anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like#she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too ->#he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal ->#look how far i went for fear of losing you#ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that
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grieving every single day that the average person is so unbelievably fucking squeamish. i want to talk about cool stuff that i like! but alas, i am not allowed to 💔
#googling abdominal compartment negative pressure wound therapy and caressing my phone screen. sigh.... I miss you my dear#told a guy yesterday just about how a regular fine looking exploratory laparotomy stapled shut surgical wound looks#and he was like 😧#dude! this is nothing! it just looks like ur a little teddybear doll sewn together by a kind and loving plushie doctor who fixd ur stuffing!#sigh.......#bitches can't even handle something that is fine and benign.... not even malign and worrying and out of the ordinary....#bitches can't even handle procedure that goes well and fine and looks great!#bitches can't even appreciate a good looking flesh wound these days#sigh
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I need everyone to know that speedsters are allergic to nanobots.
No, seriously. They're allergic to nanobots.
Speedsters have absolutely insane metabolisms, which means that they have an absolutely insane immune system. They don't get sick. Ever. Their immune system works at warp speed and takes out germs the second they enter their body. Call germs 'the Rogues' because they're getting tackled by super speedy blurs before they can even think about causing issues.
Okay, so they have a great immune system and don't get sick ever. What does this have to do with nanobots?
Great question! When nanobots are injected into a speedster's body their immune system sees them as a threat. Only problem? It doesn't matter how fast or efficient their immune system is, their body can't destroy a bunch of tiny metal robots.
Because their bodies can't fight off the nanobots they start to display typical cold/flu symptoms instead. Vomiting, fever, runny nose, coughing, being tired, ect. The nanobots aren't causing this reaction. Their own immune system causes this reaction. The fever is the bodies attempt to kill off the 'germs'. The vomiting, runny nose and coughing is the body's attempt to expel the 'germs'. They feel tired because their body is putting everything into fighting off the 'infection'.
In a normal person the nanobots wouldn't even be an issue because they'd be able to avoid detection. They can't avoid detection in a speedster body because their immune systems are dialled up to 500 out of 10.
As a result you get instances like this:
(Inertia had injected Bart with nanobots and Bart had a reaction)
Just an FYI for people because this is extremely fun and versatile information. Especially because none of the speedsters are really aware of this and it doesn't kick in right away. I could totally see a situation where a mission requires nanobot injections and mid mission the speedster goes down out of nowhere. It's also great if you want to do a stereotypical sick fic or something and want to get around that pesky speedster immunity.
Anyway, it's fun information so I thought I'd share
#anyone watch that episode of TT where all the titans are injected with nanobots that'll kill them if robin doesn't work with slade?#and everyone is all 'WHY HAS ROBIN BETRAYED US?!?'#anyway im just saying that if Wally was there he would be on the ground delirious and vomiting#which#i don't know if it makes the situation better because the team would be looking into why hes sick#or if it makes it worse because wallys out of commission#but its 10/10 either way#i just want a yj mission where tims like 'hey we are going to space so here are gps nanobots'#and then like three hours later Bart is burning up delirious and vomiting#and tim (who knows that speedsters ONLY show symptoms of sickness if they have the plague or have been poisoned or something) FREAKS OUT#throws him into quarantine. stops the mission. gets an emergency surgery room ready. has doctors on the line.#Kon goes into quarantine with him cause hes 'AN ALIEN AND CAN'T GET SICK FUCK YOU TIM'#meanwhile hes like#completely fine#he just has flu symptoms#dc#dc comics#the flash#impulse#kid flash#wally west#bart allen#barry allen#speedsters
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#I am normal about that old man#doctor who#classic who#classic doctor who#once again he gives me gender euphoria bc i do this and i've been made to feel insecure about it by people#bc if i want to be masc i can't be doing stuff like that anymore. but he does! and he is masc! so fuck you!#doctor who classic#the doctor#second doctor#2nd doctor#the second doctor#patrick troughton#jamie mccrimmon#frazer hines
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okay so you know how it goes: fourteen comes to life in thirteen's clothes. and they're both too short and too loose and entirely too bright for his frame of mind. they worked with a doctor who hid everything behind a too wide smile; not so much with a doctor whose pain and tiredness is written across his face
he needs to change. obviously
and then the star beast starts, and fourteen leaves the tardis, and he's still in thirteen's clothes
he just. he doesn't know. how does he choose new clothes? he feels wrong. how will wearing something else change that?
(donna tells him that it's christmas, mate; it's bloody freezing. maybe wear longer trousers, yeah? also he's both too young and too old to wear braces. just a friendly note)
he doesn't have to explain who he is to the unit scientist, not with those clothes. instead he talks about how he doesn't understand why he looks like this. why he is this. why this face? why isn't he someone new?
actually. maybe he is someone new. was he ever this open before? hm
why do you look like that, sylvia hisses, trying to hide him from the daughter he destroyed ruined left
it's a lottery, he replies, purposely ignorant
he still has his thirteenth self's screwdriver. it's too small in his hands
(the whole time they were her, her hands were too small. she didn't like touching anyway, but whenever someone took her hand, it felt wrong. they were too small. sometimes it felt like if she worked fast enough, tinkered about without stopping, she wouldn't have to look at them)
everything goes wrong. his fault, like always
(blimey. of all the things to carry over from the first time he had this face, it had to be the guilt, didn't it?)
you shouldn't look like that, the doctordonna says, and he runs a hand down his face with a tired laugh
no, the doctordonna says, not the face. a hand reaches out to grasp at the collar of his shirt, at the dangling earring chain. this isn't you. who are you, doctor?
like he knows. like they've ever-
she dies.
she lives. he doesn't deserve it. it isn't about him. he still doesn't deserve it
we're letting it go, donna says, and he looks down at himself, at another him's clothes, another him's screwdriver
well, she never was subtle, his donna
the tardis is gorgeous, though when isn't she. he tries to show off his new console to donna, and she rolls her eyes, and drags him off to the wardrobe
unlike normally, where all the clothes are scattered about, the new tardis wardrobe now also has a line of wardrobes stood against the wall. fifteen of them, to be exact
the last wardrobe is open. and empty
he goes to the second to last, and opens it to reveal a wide array of rainbow patterned shirts. she probably would've hated for her things to be organised like this. always creating mess so she wouldn't have to think about anything important. he laughs. and he takes off the sky coloured coat and the worn boots and the earrings and gently places them inside. tag, he thinks, as he closes the doors
and then he moves down to the eleventh wardrobe, full of brown coats and blue suits and neatly pressed shirts and pairs of converse. and he stands in front of it. and he wonders
after a moment, donna's like wait do you want me to leave?? you never cared about nudity before, did you? and he's like oh actually i do feel more self conscious. huh. weird.
he doesn't have to say, i think i'm a different person. not to donna. she just gives him a smile, and a shoulder nudge, and tells him she'll see him in the console room
the last wardrobe is empty
he takes a breath, and then goes to rummage about in the rest of the clothes
#13 🤝 14 (🤝 12) -> dysphoria 😔#doctor who#the doctor#fourteen#my fanfic#i mean ig#the tardis is including war. and so am i#the fugitive doctor's clothes are around somewhere also#then he leaves the wardrobe and donna's like literally all you've done is change your colour palette#and he's like oi i've only been me for a few hours! give me time to get a fashion sense!#and she's like well how long were you your last face#and he's like idk. bout a century?#and she's like i saw your clothes before this. that one had decades & never found a sense of fashion so i'm not holding my breath with you.#it's the new year i've decided to write about things only i still care abt probably dsakjlaskjl#why isn't this a proper fic. because i can't be bothered. hope that helps#bye im gonna go make brownies
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All China appearances so far in Hetalia Gangsta
(not in order)
#WHO SAID THAT OLD MEN CAN'T SLAY????#4000 YEARS OLD AND DOCTORS HATE HIM!!!#SEE HOW HE STAYED YOUNG WITH THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK !!!!#GET OUT DONE BY GRANDPA#He slayed ❗❗❗#HE GOT GYATT ‼️❗‼️❗‼️#the name of the father#the son#the holy spirit#amen#thank u hima papa for china#can u guys tell i really like china#HE COULD SPIT ON ME AND CALL ME PATHETIC AND ID APOLOGIZE#aph china#hws china#hetalia#soup rambles#china <3#hetalia china
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Wow! We're doing charm as well now, are we? Which one of us is dying?
#it's been done a hundred times before but i think about this scene every day#'when do i not see you'#it's a great line because it really foreshadows the underlying issue to come with their relationship#that in their toxic codependency he almost gets what i'm dubbing 'clara-vision'#where he begins to only see her#hinted at again when he says 'every time we do something like this i keep thinking what if something happens to you'#she becomes his priority#and with that he nearly rips the universe apart when he loses her#and i just can't with them anymore#i will be 10x more feral over series 9 than i was over series 8#this is your warning#doctor who#dwedit#dwgifs#dw companions#twelve#twelfth doctor#clara oswald#twelveclara#whouffaldi#dws9#episode: the magician's apprentice#peter capaldi#jenna coleman#gif warning
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Just so you know, you can’t ship NineRose romantically. Nine is canonically Aromantic.
sorry i don’t take things as canon if they’re written by the same guy who wrote river song sexually assaulting five.
partly joking but not really. the way big finish wrote this story has one episode call the doctor aro (by john dorney, mentioned above), and have him solve the problem of the episode with his lack of romantic attraction, and two episodes later (by tim foley, who i also have beef with) basically has nine and river call their relationship romantic.
i know being aromantic is a spectrum and something complicated and different to each individual, and i would love it if the show (or surrounding media) made an effort to explore this with the doctor, but i. don't think it's done super well here. like. on one hand it could be saying nine didn't love rose*, which i dislike and also goes against what we see in the show, or it could be saying he needed to just Meet The Right Person, which i also dislike for very obvious reasons. and either way you slice it, it confirms the doctor has feelings in the future for river (which i agree with) but it basically says the only reason the doctor doesn’t have those feelings Now is because he’s aro (with the implication of “aro For Now”). not because he. yknow. just met her. or he just got out of the time war and he hates himself. dorney just kind of bungles it, which is very disappointing because nineriver could be such an interesting dynamic, romantic or not.
i guess i just do fundamentally disagree that the doctor’s sexuality really changes all that much body to body so it really ends up feeling like “he just hasn’t Met The Right Person Yet”.
*if you personally don't think this love is romantic then that's totally fine! if you prefer to read them as queerplatonic partners or what have you then you absolutely should. personally i do think it's romantic love -- specifically allegorical queer romantic love, given how it's written in the show -- and i don't think it's a moral wrong to read it that way.
tl;dr i dislike this writer and how he handled nine and river's relationship and i think how he handled nine's romantic attraction (or lack thereof) specifically in Swipe Right really kind of sucks. that story alone contradicts the doctor being aromantic by saying that they feel romantic attraction in the future, and then the third episode in the set by foley also contradicts the doctor being aro in the present. i know stuff with sexuality can change over time, but that doesn't really feel like what was being done here. it feels more like the stereotypical thing a lot of media does that basically says aromanticism has to be fixed or is a temporary thing.
i also think telling people they can't say two characters were in gay love because of a pseudocanon side story most people have not listened to and costs a lot of money is a weird way to interact with people you don't know on the internet. i like romantic readings of doctorrose and doctorriver, sue me.
#to be clear i would love it if they explored the doctor being aro and/or ace in canon i think that could be really interesting#and i love reading people's headcanons or meta about aromanticism in doctor who#but i don't think it's been done well in any sort of canon media.#and as someone who reads series one as a gay allegory. i'm not gonna listen to Some Guy i don't like when he says i can't#*some guy being john dorney not anon#but i’m not listening to them either. sorry#doctor who#delia.txt#ninerose
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This is the funniest shit (and also completely accurate)
#yeah we won't#doctor who#david tennant#whoniverse#i think it's accepted at this point that dt will always be there#like a moth attracted to a flame#just can't keep away#bless him#i rest assured with the knowledge he's probably going to stick his hair in an exponential curve and return every 10 years or so#10th doctor#14th doctor#60th anniversary
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when I explain to you that Ten is the equivalent of Enamored Smurf in the Doctor lineup
#his entire regeneration is built for passion#he was born out of love for one specific human girl and as a result he is constantly - no pun intended - at a ten emotions-wise#he is like. that one care bear whose entire purpose is love? but without the girl he regenerated for it kinda goes haywire#he's the doctor who kisses ALL of his companions think about that. he flirts with every female with a pulse. all that romantic energy.#just. zooming around everywhere with nothing to land on after Rose gets ripped away#it's hilarious and very sad. and annoying#when he's angry he's FURIOUS. when he's sad he's MISERABLE. when he's happy he's INFECTIOUS. and when he's in love?#WHEN HE'S IN LOVE DO NOT GET CAUGHT IN THE CROSSFIRE#the man literally wants to die when the human girl he was born out of love for is unreachable. he welcomes death.#he goes BANANAS when they are not together. slowly but surely he's Time Lord Victorious because he literally can't cope without his love#it's ridiculous. I could go on#I might write an essay about this#if provoked*#tenth doctor#opinion piece#10th doctor#10rose#tenrose#tentoo#doctor who#dw#bbc#timepetals#ten x rose#rose tyler#rose x ten#rose x doctor#david tennant#billie piper#ten
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#meme#homemade memes#cw dysphoria#trans#bones are stupid#cw dysphoria venting#waiting out current phase of transition changes to happen#(cause I got my dose raised again in april & am waiting for my next two surgeries & continuing tryna build muscle 😔)#hoping it'll get to a point eventually where the affirming bits are overpowering enough to ppl's perception#that I can dress the bits I can't change (like hips) in things that suit them#and do the whole embracing looking trans thing without worrying abt the misgendering#but alas I won't believe in my body's ability to do that until I see it#seeing as I still get lady-ed & unquestioningly she/her-ed 5 years into HRT + post two highly visible surgeries#+ fully dressed in men's clothes + sporting the shortest hair I've ever had -.-#cis ppl learn what transmascs look like & what that means for words you use on them challenge 2024- difficulty level: impossible apparently#I've had several ppl in the last few months that I literally TOLD I am trans/'it's he/him'/was clocked as trans by#who then STILL proceeded to misgender me anyway???#like what more can I do than literally straight up tell you????#I told a clinician who was looking at my knee the other month that I was trans (cause they always ask abt all meds n diagnoses)#and he misgendered me as a trans woman on his report like-#sir I am 5'4" and have a flat chest baby face and facial hair#and I was telling you abt how I've been on HRT for years and have had several Transgender Surgeries#you're a bone doctor you know how bones work and what their limitations are and you have functionning eyes#you should be able to put 2 and 2 together abt how this works even if you've never met a trans person holy fuck#(I wrote a complaint and they amended the report and sent me an apology meanwhile but still like- buddy wtf)
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Checkmate
"I don't want to be a piece in your fucking game."
So this render has a LOT going on in it, and in order to explain it all, I have to briefly explain some events from the D&D campaign Rook is in.
Basically, Rook met a guy named Sigmar, who ended up becoming Rook's mentor. They got super close, and Rook is very attached to him. However, as it turns out, Sigmar is actually Dr. Purity, the potential final villain of the entire campaign. And Maka (the wizard) knew this, and still let Rook get close to him. Maka's reasoning was that as long as Sigmar/Purity is preoccupied with Rook, he won't be trying to destroy the world. And he was right.
So now, Rook has to find out that basically only the second person who was ever kind to him and cared about him (party PCs excluded) is actually evil. And it's going to destroy him. And he's going to be furious, but not at Sigmar. He cares too much about Sigmar to be mad at him, at least not yet. But Maka... Maka has been using Rook as a piece in this grand game and didn't even deign to let him know.
There was a scene that we played out months ago where Maka beat Sigmar in a game of chess, and his player specifically narrated that he used the Rook piece to take Sigmar's king. And the DM reminded me of that detail, and thus this render was born. (It's funny. I never intended any of this chess shit to happen, but now it's like a major theming thing for Rook's character... Funny how that works.)
Oh, and of course there's the fact that the party just a day or two ago lectured Rook about hiding things from them. Things that had much less to do with them than this fact about Sigmar has to do with him. So he's going to be very upset at their hypocrisy.
Anyways, I'm not quite sure exactly how the reveal will play out in-game, but I know it's going to be bad for Rook. He's already reckless and impulsive (occasionally to the point of hurting himself) at more decent times, let alone when he's upset, and he's never ever been this upset in-game before.
Okay, last fun fact of the day: I actually looked up chess checkmate patterns for this render. The one shown here is the Vukovic Mate.
Wait, I lied. One more. Before I even knew that Sigmar was going to betray the party, I gave his sim the same ring that I gave Rook's father, Alistair. Funny that the two people to wear that ring cc are two of the people who've hurt him the most in his entire life...
Oh, and credit for the chess board meshes goes to Yanez Designs on sketchfab.
#ts4#ts4 edit#the sims 4#sims 4 edit#my edits#ts4 render#sims 4 render#my renders#blender render#dnd edits#ts4 dnd#sims 4 dnd#oc: Rook#*Liars#<- My Rook+Sigmar tag on my other blog.#I love that this lowkey makes Maka look like the villain lmao.#and in Rook's head he kind of is??? like Rook genuinely cares about Sigmar and Sigmar genuinely cares about him. like a lot.#Sigmar was more of a father figure to Rook than he was to his own fucking daughter who is also traveling with the party.#and both of them are going to have a LOT of trouble hurting each other in the future...#it's going to rip me to pieces.#Sigmar/Dr. Purity literally worked against his own organization and made enemies of all the other doctors for Rook.#I can't think about it too much or else I start going insane.
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typically if done right, everything you see and hear on screen has a purpose. So why was my overall feelings of Rogue this episode that of not a trustworthy person? - "Bad Guy" being played in the background when we first are introduced to them - We know Rogue has a "New Boss". The Meep in the special ep mentioned they had a "Boss". -The Tardis growls at Rogue. - They're a bounty hunter by trade and only flip their attitude of disposing the Doctor once it's revealed that he is one of a kind. (🤑 anyone?) - The in Tardis interaction gave the impression that the Doctor's info dump about his life and the Tardis' capabilities was something Rogue wished to exploit and would at some point double cross. Depositing the aliens in an abandoned, one way trip dimension plot gave me bad vibes. (I thought it looked like they wanted to steal the Tardis with the way they were inspecting it like new real-estate ) - If the monster of the episode was someone who could shapeshift and was always hiding their true self, Rogue not revealing their true name but a fake one holds some parallel connotations. -THEIR FAKE NAME - Rogue meaning: a dishonest or unprincipled person (don't ask me why Rogue then sacrificed themself) in this essay i will -
#lucinda tries to blog#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#dw spoilers#spoilers#dw#idk bro#there could be more but i've forgotten#i only watched the episode once#after his visit to the tardis Rogue kinda gave me not “i'm interested in you as a person” vibes#but love bombing “i can get something out of this” vibes#the tardis being the thing#was he even aware of Ruby until the end? I can't recall if the Dr mentioned her in the tardis#and Rogue's lost companion?#i like to think that if there's any stock to be held in the New Boss line#it's that they're being held hostage by Boss or were disposed of by Boss
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Danny 'I don't do weird' Pink frustrates me as a character, because I'm honestly not sure whether he was supposed to have an arc or not.
His primary role is as a foil for Clara's arc and, in aid of that, as a mirror to the Doctor. A solider with survivor's guilt and a man of action who can't stand by when people need help etc., in some ways he and the Doctor have a lot in common, but he's also a very grounded and circumspect personality versus the Doctor's being fantastical and adventurous. Danny isn't curious and doesn't want to pursue new things or experiences, instead he wants to be fully present with and grateful for what he already has. The Doctor is incorrigibly curious and always interested in new things.
Danny is someone who desires nothing more than an ordinary life, and looks for beauty and satisfaction in the normal things and people around him. He wants his world to be small and quiet, he values the mundane things others might take for granted. He's normal, patient, dependable, simple, honest, etc. His reaction to trauma hasn't been to disavow the things which lead him to that event, or to seek out stimulation to avoid thinking about it, it's to be thoughtful and cautious and somewhat rigid so he can always apply the mindset and skills he retained from before he was traumatised.
He's very firm and unbending in his worldview and in his self-image. He doesn't seem to ever reassess people once he's decided what he thinks of them. He's not unreasonable or unwilling to compromise, he is in fact maybe too reasonable, but he is implastic. He's extremely even-tempered except for around his identity as a soldier, which he's prickly about, but still pretty quick to let it go as long as he's not being deliberately antagonised.
So anyway Danny represents this other path, and this opposite response to the horror of war and making a catastrophic mistake, but he never learns, he never grows and he and Clara are never much on the same wavelength about anything. He's supposed to be stability, the things she 'should' want, the 'person she's supposed to like', the safe choice, the presentable life which Clara feels like she has to have. He's orderly and ordinary and that's what she wants from him. She has to control her image, her future, and her options.
And their simple relationship, once it exists, functions well as the contrast to her complicated and tumultuous relationship with the Doctor while the companion power dynamic is being dismantled and rebuilt so they can be emotional equals. But like, the set up is confusingly executed.
Listen- they have zero chemistry, they have nothing to talk about and have to resort to talking about work, every conversation goes instantly off the rails, they rub each other the wrong way, there is never any reason for them to keep reconciling and trying again to connect. Like. You are not hitting it off! and keep offending each other bc you're not compatible! Quit!!
Clara is forcing it, that makes complete sense with what she's going through, she's trying to take control of her life and her emotions, trying to prove to herself she's not pining for the Doctor and at the mercy of his whims for her life to be full and complete. She doesn't want to need him or to be dependant on him. She doesn't want to be the heartbroken sadsack whom he abandoned at Christmas or who will take whatever scraps he'll throw her. She wants to control his position in her life and control how she feels about him. Hence her assigning him a specific day and confining their adventures on her own terms. She's trying to keep the Doctor compartmentalised. Having an Appropriate Human Relationship means she's successfully put the Doctor in his box (lol) and neutralised the chaotic power of her feelings for him. I mean, obviously not, but that's what she tells herself.
But what is Danny doing? Why does he keep pursuing this when it's so clearly not a good match?
Again in Listen, and much more so The Caretaker, Danny illustrates that he does not know who Clara is, he's wildly wrong about her and what she's like, and he's very high handed about it as well. He's convinced that the Doctor is taking advantage of her, that the Doctor is domineering in their relationship, that she is not a person who wants to be put into challenging or dangerous positions, that the Doctor is pushing her to takes risks and become a leader where that's not her nature. None of this is true. Clara was always a decisive, assertive, strongly driven person who seeks out new experiences and naturally assumes a leadership role any time that's necessary; she relishes being challenged and facing the unknown. Her blow up with the Doctor wasn't about him 'pushing her too far', it was about him failing to support her when she needed him and condescending to her as a human rather than treating her with the intimacy and equity their bond and history together demands. It's personal and it's about their emotional relationship. It's not about making hard choices, it's about having to make hard choices without her partner being honest with and emotionally available to her.
Clara was always an adventurous person, willing to be spontaneous as long as it's on her terms, and excited by the prospect of authority and responsibility. The danger and challenge isn't an unfortunate side effect or a risk she has to take to see amazing sights, it's part of the appeal. She lied to Danny by omission when she said she went off in the box to 'see wonders', not just because the real reason is that she's in love with Doctor, but also because she doesn't just want to be a tourist. She wants to get involved and save people, she wants things to sometimes go pear shaped. She enjoys and craves that part of it too.
Danny is also wildly wrong about the Doctor, but this is understandable and would be fine except that he's never corrected? He never learns better? What's the point?
In Death in Heaven Danny goes out still wrong about the Doctor, still condemning him cruelly and unfairly while knowing nothing about him. He had a point with some of his original rant, there was actual insight there, but it's buried in assumptions and bitterness and then Danny keeps tripling down on the assumption. The one which doesn't understand that the very thing he's shitting on the Doctor for (being willing to lead and make hard choices that must be made in order to save people) is something the Doctor has in common with Clara. And always has. The Doctor didn't change her or push her into that, that's who she's always been.
What is the point of Danny calling him a blood-soaked general and mocking him, calling him an officer as a pejorative again, and again because the Doctor is trying to save the planet. Like, memory check, that's what Danny is mad about. The Doctor doing everything in his power to save literal billions of lives. Doing it for no reason, out of altruism. Doing it while always trying very hard not to fight or kill anyone. Doing it even at enormous spiritual cost to himself.
I don't understand how we're meant to find Danny sympathetic in that moment, because he comes off like a complete dickhead. And it's all the more frustrating because in the intervening episodes Danny has been eminently reasonable. As I've discussed before, we're exhaustively shown that Danny is 100% okay with what Clara claims is going on, that he doesn't want to get in the way of her friendship with the Doctor, that if it really were only the relationship she's pretending it is, there would be no conflict. He's the one who encourages her to make up with him after Kill the Moon! He tells her to go on travelling and it's fine!
Even when he discovers she's been lying to him and cavorting with the Doctor behind his back (again despite him telling her it was fine with him!), he's calm about it and repeats for the millionth time that all he wants from her is honesty. The truth. Which is the one thing she can't give him because Clara knows their entire relationship is built on the lie, they're only together because of the lie. The truth is, as Moffatt said, that Danny never stood a chance. There is a conflict between the two relationships and she's always going to choose the Doctor.
And that does come out, she gives the whole speech to Danny, not knowing it's him, finally being honest. And he seems unsurprised by it, which makes sense because on some level he definitely always knew ('do you love him?' 'no' 'really had enough of the lies'), but then nothing comes of that. Clara just soldiers on, going right back to pretending this relationship wasn't a façade doomed from the start, and Danny allows her to pretend. He goes off on the Doctor, but not in a way the Doctor actually deserves at all, and just sweeps her confession under the carpet. Letting her get away with it again. True to form, I guess! he always did. But shouldn't we make progress?
And it's like... I hate that he dies on that note. It feels like he dies in denial. I guess you could argue it contributes to his decision to not come back, but that feels like a disservice to the character. Saving the kid is important to Danny, it allows him to atone for his greatest mistake, but he didn't need to change or grow to accomplish that and it doesn't provide any closure to his actual role in the narrative, which was as Clara's foil. Clara is off the hook, free to go on lying to herself about their relationship. It's not addressed in Last Christmas, either, it's only barely hinted at.
#clara oswald#whouffaldi#dw#twelfth doctor#dw meta#I feel a constant need to remind people that the first thing Danny asks after Clara explains who the Doctor is#is 'do you love him?'#it's that transparent#and he asks already knowing the answer and immediately calling bullshit when she denies it#and apparently accepts this as not a threat to him on the basis of the Doctor being an untouchable alien incapable of loving her back#like as if she had a crush on a dragon or the Great Wall of China#I can't tell if that speaks to his lack of self worth or if it's just really patronising#I appreciate In the Forests of the Night so much for the scene where he finally realises he should be jealous#but then he's just Extremely Reasonable about it again#he has total faith in his idea of who Clara is- utter conviction#and it's completely misplaced#I feel owed the psychological fallout from this is all I'm saying#calling this meta is being very generous bc did I even say anything#but whatever it's a bunch of words I'll put it in the box with the other words#I've realised 95% of my whouffaldi meta is in tags on gifsets so
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Armand: [Daniel] wants you in pieces for the privilege of putting you together how he sees fit. Louis: It's his job. Armand: It's his drug. He's reveling in it. >:( Daniel, in the other room: I wonder if I can watch the Mets on TV from Dubai.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand de romanus#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#that whole exchange is so very hilariously projection and i love it#YES WHO IN THIS PENTHOUSE LIKES TO BE IN CONTROL OF OTHERS#I WONDER#I BET IT'S DEFINITELY THE OLD GUY WHO CAN'T EVEN GET HIS PARKINSON'S IV IN A REAL DOCTOR'S OFFICE WHILE HE'S HERE
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