#He’s annoying and the show knows it which is at least better than the alternative isn’t it

[leclerc-s]

track one: secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought

series masterlist

JUST THE TWO (THREE) OF US

alternatively: the first meeting between inés and oscar

2015

she had been the only girl there, which is something she was all too used to but at least of the people around her were her age. it got lonely after a while, but she wanted to be like her big brother carlos. she wanted to one day stand on the top step of a podium, not just in karting, but in formula 1. it may have been an unrealistic dream for a girl in motorsports but it was her dream and inés sainz was not a quitter.

“you’re helmet’s cool,” a blonde boy told her. isabella cursed at the gods when she had to look up at him. she gave him a bright smile, “thanks, it’s designed to look like-”

“like the spanish flag,” the boy pointed out, “i’m guessing you’re spanish?”

inés smiled again, “yeah.”

“i thought- normally-” he seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say, “most girls tend to have pink or purple helmets during karting. or, well, most of the ones i meet do.”

inés huffed, that question annoyed her. just because she was a girl didn’t mean she had to be obsessed with the color pink or purple.

“i wouldn’t be taken seriously if i showed up in a pink helmet. i already don’t because i'm a girl.”

“i didn’t mean you to offend you,” the blonde argued, “it was an honest question. i think the helmet is cool, even the pink ones.”

"make a fool of yourself yet?" a brunette boy questioned as he approached them. inés was left confused, was he talking to her? they had never even met before, there was no way he was talking to her.

the blonde scrunched his face up, glaring at the brunette boy, "i did not make a fool of myself."

the brunette turned to face inés, "did he ask you a stupid question?" the blonde was shaking his head behind the other boy, brunette boy turned around, "you do realize i can see you, right?"

the blonde blushed, "yes?"

"he ask why my helmet wasn't pink or purple," inés told the brunette.

"logan," the brunette said, smacking the blonde, logan, on the shoulder. "i wanted to make conversation," logan argued.

"so ask her about that move she made on you or about her race, not why her helmet isn't pink!"

"i learned it watching my brother," inés smiled. she loved talking about her older brother. carlos had achieved the dream inés was after, racing in formula 1, "well that was a while ago, but that's who i learned it from."

"oh!" logan realized, he turned to the brunette, "oscar, she's- her brother is carlos- the toro rosso driver."

"oh," the brunette, oscar said, "i like max better," oscar's eyes widened in realization, "i didn't mean- he's a good driver."

inés laughed, "it's okay, not everyone is going to like my brother. everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. i like fernando more than i like my brother."

logan laughed, "and somehow i was the one who made a fool myself."

"shut up," oscar muttered.

inés laughed and from that moment on she had found two of the greatest friends she could've ever had. well, oscar would become more than a friend, but they didn't quite know that yet. in that single moment one had quickly become three, suddenly she wasn't alone anymore. suddenly she had two friends who meant the world to her and she would do nothing that would cost her losing them.

perhaps if her parents had disapproved of the friendship things would be different but for some strange reason her parents liked both boys. of course, her mother thought logan was too american for her liking, but the boy had grown up in europe, so inés was confused on that front. oscar they liked because his mentor was mark webber. mark may not have had a championship, but he had been a damn good formula 1 driver, and an even better WEC driver.

THE VERY FIRST NIGHT

alternatively: the first meeting between inés and charles

2018

if you were to ask inés about the very first time she met charles leclerc, she would lie and say she couldn’t recall, but she knew exactly when she met him. it was something charles still made fun of her about, occasionally oscar joined in on it. although, charles usually started to pout when inés mentioned that he had been crying when they first met.

she was 16 at the time, hving been to the monaco grand prix several times prior to this particular instance. which is why she couldn't fathom how on earth she got lost at the paddock. however, the tears that had clouded her eyes when she ran out of the renault garage were gone by now. instead she was faced with a bigger problem now, she was lost.

inés doesn't remember bumping into him, she remembers their conversation, and she remembers that charles also has tears in his eyes that particular day. why would he not? he had just dnf'd his home race, for the first time in his formula one career, inés probably would've cried too.

she had landed on the floor, a slight oomf falling out of her mouth. charles, at the time she didn't know his name, let out a soft gasp, and began rapidly speaking to her in french, "oh mon dieu. je suis vraiment désolé, je ne t'ai pas vu. je suis vraiment désolé. je jure que je ne t'ai pas vu. es-tu blessé? êtes-vous bien?" (translation: oh my god. i'm really sorry, i didn't see you. i am really sorry. i swear i didn't see you. are you hurt? are you fine?)

"i don't speak-" inés began. he cut her off, his accent present when he spoke, "are you okay? are you hurt? i am really sorry, i did not see you."

"i'm fine," she said, grabbing his hand, that he had outstretched to her, so she could stand up, "are you okay? you're crying."

charles brushed her off, "i am fine, a bit disappointed in my race today but fine."

“oh, i’m sorry.”

“it is fine,” he sighed. charles held his hand out again, “i’m charles leclerc.”

“well, charles leclerc, i’m inés sainz,” she greeted.

“carlos’s little sister,” charles realized. inés rolled her eyes, “yes, but i’m much more than that.”

charles laughed, and holy shit, that was all it took for inés to become infatuated with him. it was just a crush then, she would go as far as calling it a celebrity crush. inés was years younger than him, five to be exact, there was no way he’d ever go for her. even if he did, she was 16, people would criticizes the hell out of him for going for her. his career was just starting out in formula and for it to be plagued by something as small as this, inés wouldn't have it.

besides it was just a crush, one that would surely go away in a few weeks, like all of inés' other crushes, like the one she had mysteriously developed on oscar last year. that had gone away, or so she thought.

YOU BELONG WITH ME

alternatively: ines' realization

EARLY 2020

inés had quickly realized two things about herself. one: her crush on oscar piastri had not gone away, infact, it had gotten worse. two: she did not have just a crush on charles leclerc. the crush with charles would never go anywhere considering he had a girlfriend. which in it's own way was devastating enough for her but of course someone like him would be taken. charles leclerc was kind, generous, and not to mention he was good looking. inés didn't care about his looks, that was all superficial, she liked the guy he was underneath.

with oscar she wasn't even sure he liked her back, which is why she was so scared to even mention to anyone that she liked him. what if he didn't like her back? what if he hated her after? what if their friendship was ruined forever over this? inés couldn't lose one of her two best friends. maybe she could talk to logan about it but logan also told oscar absolutely everything.

then, there was the matter of her family, anyone she ended up dating would have to be approved by her father and her brother. the family name and image always meant more to carlos sainz sr. there was no way inés was going to be able to be with them without her family meddling. so instead she sat taking refuge with the one person who never gave her any shit, fernando alonso. they often joked that she was more of his kid than she was her parents kid, that's how often he looked out for her.

her phone dinged, breaking her out of her trance that she had found herself in. even fernando's corny jokes couldn't crack her out of the slump she found herself in. the name that stared back her made her sit up, scaring the cat the was cuddled up near her. it meowed at her in disapproval and she shook her head ignoring it. the cat then decided it had enough of inés and jumped off the couch looking for comfort elsewhere.

"eres terrible en esconder tus sentimientos," fernando told inés. the brunette girl turned to stare at him, "que?" (translations: you're terrible at hiding your feelings. what?)

"ahi nena, sabes de lo que te estoy hablando," fernando told her again. (translation: oh girl, you know what i’m talking about.)

“i actually don’t,” inés argued, “and i happen to be very good at hiding my feelings. i have my parents fooled.”

fernando laughed, “nena, a blind man would be able to realize what you feel in a split second.”

“well, they’re both blind then,” inés muttered.

“espera, que quieres decir con both?” fernando questioned. (translation: wait, what do you mean both?)

“i- podemos olvidar que tuvimos esta conversación?” inés questioned, abruptly standing from the couch, “i have to go- goat simulator awaits nando.” (translation: can we forget we had this conversation?)

“esto no se a terminado inés!” fernando shouted after her, “i figured out who the other person besides oscar is!” (translation: this isn’t over inés!)

liked by oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_oficial, carlossainz55 and others

ines_sainz adventures in quarantine with papa nando and the new children

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial

maxverstappen33 i will be stealing one of those cats as soon as i am able to crash at nando's house.

ines_sainz we don't want you here? maxverstappen33 i don't care??

user01 she's quarantining with fernando? that's father and daughter!

user02 lowkey wondering why she isn't quarantining with carlos. they literally live together.

user03 she doesn't have to spend every living moment with him? she's entitled to live her life away from him. user02 no i meant like, i'm so used to seeing them together all the time. so it's weird that they aren't together.

oscarpiastri you got a cat?

ines_sainz yes? haven't decided a name yet but fernando was adamant on naming at least one after mark! fernandoalo_oficial nena, no mientas! [girl don't lie]

fernandoalo_oficial we're not keeping them all inés

ines_sainz uh, yes we are? fernandoalo_oficial inés, no los podemos tener! [inés, we can't have them] ines_sainz si podemos! [yes, we can]

carlossainz55 por esto decideste quedarte con fernando? [this is why you chose to stay with fernando?]

ines_sainz tu me dijiste que no podía tener un gato! fernando dijo que si! [you told me i couldn't have a cat! fernando said yes!] fernandoalo_oficial no es cierto! tu me dijiste que tenias una sorpresa y llegaste con 3 gatos! [that's not true! you told me you has a surprise and you showed up with 3 cats!] ines_sainz es lo mismo! [it's the same thing!]

user04 55 represent!!

user05 i fucking love this joke they have where fernando is her father. praying for her future boyfriend/husband

user06 nah cause imagine having max verstappen as your ride or die. personally i'd shit myself before breaking her heart. logansargeant this is logan sargeant erasure. ines_sainz yeah, max will bring the fists and logan will bring the guns logansargeant okay- that's not- user07 your honor my comfort duo!

patooward so can i kidnap them?

ines_sainz unfortunately dad (fernando) said no but you can get one named after you! patooward deal! can't wait to meet my tocayo! [namesake]

¡taglist!

@minmira95 @lesliiieeeee @vroomvroommuppett @prongsvault @justtprachisblog @scuderiadevils @cataf1 @chezmardybum @formulaal @lilsiz @norstappenvibes @ironspdy @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica @niniluvsainz @matchaverse @fakeikeastore @theseus-jpg @six-call @81folklore @emppusofi @luvsforme @nichmeddar @loloekie @luvpedro @donttouchthegnote

¡not taggable!

@ashlovestoread1411 @books-thingys-andstuff @nothanqks @yeanoskrrt @ale-522 @aandreea_2005 @Katness1

¡leclerc-s speaks!

please ignore the typos and grammar mistakes, currently too tired to correct them. this is more of a look into inés' dynamic with fernando and how she first met charles and oscar. but also when she realized she had feeling for both boys. the sainz siblings have never been as close as they seem.

¡disclaimer!

this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[yanderes-galore]

If you're comfortable, could I request a romantic concept for Endeavor (MHA)?

I have mixed feelings about him because I know he's going to horrid to Darling... but at the same time he'd probably try to redeem himself later- This doesn't have much of a plot but it takes place after Rei. The original draft I was doing took place where you replace Rei but I scrapped it for now. Take this as an AU that doesn't really connect to canon.

Yandere! Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling (A section mentions female anatomy, however. This section is in pink), Obsession, Age gap, Possessive behavior, Manipulation, Abuse of power, Lucid yandere, Stalking, Marriage, Mentions of wanting/having children/baby trapping, Isolation, Dubious (forced) relationship.

In an alternate timeline where Enji decides to start anew from his old family, I can see him hesitate for once when he finds a new obsession.

After all, it's clear he's been horrible with relationships in the past.

He's only ruined his kids lives, same thing for his wife.

He probably doesn't even think he'll love again.

Then you come into his life, just about as annoying as Hawks, yet make him feel funny.

It's a familiar warmth... and he dreads it.

You're a new pro hero which means he's going to be dealing with you a lot.

This leaves him conflicted as now he'll have a harder time to suppress the burning warmth in him when he looks at you.

You're younger than him, at least half his age if not a bit older, he knows it would be unprofessional to do anything.

The good news, after his original family and the retirement of All-Might, he's much better than he was.

Unfortunately, if you ever got too close, old habits may make themselves known.

There's times you're so bratty... yet he knows it's just because you're young.

You're overconfident, yet you have a decently strong quirk.

Enji wants to be better, part of him even wants another chance at love, but doing it here would be poor choice.

You look up to him, something he both enjoys yet pities.

Which is why he'd probably stay quiet about his newest obsession for a long time.

He doesn't want to ruin your life.

You have promise, you don't need him to ruin everything.

At the same time... He worries he won't be able to hold back the longer you're around him.

To talk about Enji in general, he's a possessive yandere.

Even when he leaves his old family behind to make them happy, he'd still be bad with you.

Enji no doubt eventually would want to marry his obsession just to be able to show everyone you're his.

He knows marriage didn't go well for him before... but when he looks at you, he can't help but want others to know you're his.

That he's picked you.

To add onto that, if you have a womb... Enji would no doubt try to put a child in it.

I personally believe this man has a thing for strong successors.

Based on past behavior, that is.

So, if you were capable of having kids, Enji would eventually want that.

At first he'd be against it, knowing how his last four kids went, but the thought of giving you his kid...

It just makes him think it's another way to show you're his.

Even after losing his original family he's still possessive.

Old habits die hard, too bad you are on the receiving end.

Enji no doubt tries to be better.

He doesn't want a repeat of Rei.

He doesn't want to hurt this second chance, maybe he's just lonely but...

He wants to make you happy if you're involved with him, it's not like All-Might is in the picture anymore.

Enji may not even suggest a Quirk marriage in this case, perhaps this one he'll take his time with.

But your quirk is an added bonus as a fellow pro hero.

Enji tries his best to stay away and help you from afar.

He shouldn't have you, he doesn't deserve you, he can't ruin another...

Yet you grow close to him and he's trying to put a wildfire out.

I feel most pro heros would take a subtle manipulative approach towards their obsessions.

Things like coaxing their obsession into being involved with them.

Enji would try to stay away from it more due to past experiences.

But you just know he'll snap and start being closer with you.

It's no doubt an abuse of power due to his seniority.

Which is what makes it so manipulative.

You're both skilled heroes and you may even find dating the Endeavor flattering.

At first you think there's nothing wrong.

Completely unaware that being around Enji can get you burned.

Enji doesn't want to keep things hidden when he manages to date you.

He wants other heroes to know he's dating you.

That way no one else can sabotage him.

He wants people to know you for dating him.

When dating you he tries his best to be more amicable.

He doesn't try to hurt you, he's learned.

He's possessive and easily irritated when people bring you up... but never blames you.

He probably buys you what you want, even if you have the money as a hero.

He remembers certain aspects about you, even does it before you're dating.

Enji tries to hold himself back from marriage, but he may use it as another way to show you're his.

It's like a flex to him to say you're engaged. (even if you're not... but that's okay, he can change that.)

Plus, when he eventually gets you to marry him, it feels euphoric to slip on that ring.

He's admittedly nervous to ruin his second chance... which means he does his best to tend to you, even when he has work.

He wants to make things better.

If he notices you're falling out of love with him, or if you notice his more toxic behavior... he distracts you.

Others pity the relationship you two have, even if you are well cared for.

Most of his old family pity you, while Dabi finds it laughable Enji found someone else to torment.

Enji doesn't seem to care about the backlash.

As long as you love him, as long as he has that chance, as long as you're his...

Everyone else can burn.

Speaking of burns, early Enji may have used burns to mark his darling.

This time he refrains from that... but the thought is tempting.

Although... anything to show his mark on you couldn't be that bad, right?

He may not kidnap, but he'd definitely manipulate you into staying with him.

By the time the rose tinted glasses are off, you're in too deep.

If you can have children, you may even already be with child before you realize this... might've been a trap.

Enji likes to show ownership over his obsession.

While he may be caring with you, he's still controlling.

You're no longer your own person, perhaps even forced to give up being a hero.

You're his partner, you'll be known as his partner...

Enji doesn't plan on letting you leave, he'll use whatever means he deems necessary to keep you with him.

He'll lock you away, he'll bribe you, he'll baby trap you... anything.

Enji isn't going to mess this up again...

You're going to be his...

No matter what it takes.

[countlessofvoids]

I know I'm five years late on this and frankly this conversation is really fucking annoying at this point, but I gained analytical skills just recently, got hyperfixated on HTTYD again and have few things on my mind;

There's a ridiculous amount of bad writing decisions regarding the third movie's main antagonist and even more in the entirety of the film. However in my opinion, Grimmel's character could improve even if you kept all other aspects the same by getting rid of one plot point. And that is "drugging deathgrippers with their own venom".

One the dumbest parts of THW, only beaten by Toothless & light fury's boring romance and the movie's message. But the difference between those is those at least serve some purpose. This could go unmentioned and much wouldn't change. Sure, it shows us Grimmel uses their venom for his crossbow arrows, other than that, the "slavery" aspect is useless. All it does is make him ridiculously evil. Because the audience forgot he's not nice, apparently.

What I'm getting at is - I believe a better alternative would be the deathgrippers serving Grimmel not because they're forced to, but because they want to. Make them have genuine bond like Hiccup has with Toothless.

In universe justification: Deathgrippers are said to be intelligent dragons, so they'd probably understand that working with some creature who helps them hunt is beneficial for them. And since they're pack animals, hunting also works as a bonding activity. This would be a perfect gateway for Grimmel to make them more loyal to him. They don't necessarily need to have Hiccup & Toothless' bond (although I would personaly prefer it that way). Think of it like the speedstinger in RTTE - Despite not liking Snotlout at all, it defended him against the other speedstingers because it considered him a part of it's pack.

Writing/narrative justification: Having a group of dragons take part in killing simply for their enjoyment portrays them as intelligent creatures, which emphasizes how similiar dragons are to humans. Some are assholes just because! Also it means them dying at the end isn't a horrible way of making your audience question your protagonist's morals, since in this version they kinda deserved it.

Grimmel being friends with a bunch of dragons while hating all the others gives him depth as a character - it makes him a hypocrite.

But most importantly, Hiccup and Grimmel being parallels would be much clearer. It shows how they're the same person on different paths, that he could be like Hiccup but choose not to. Or it could lead to him being a parallel to Valka. Older person who doesn't like other people and prefers living with dragons? Sounds like Valka to me!

Now this could create a plot hole with the whole Alpha thing, since in canon they don't listen due to being drugged. However I choose to ignore that because I don't like the idea of every dragon mindlessly following Toothless no matter what personality and concept of the alpha in itself.

[idolish7imagines]

Hello! I hope it's okay to request how TRIGGER would show their jealousy for a S/O who's friendly and caring to everyone? Thank you in advance!

TRIGGER would show their jealousy for a S/O who's friendly and caring to everyone

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy it!

.::.

Gaku Yaotome

Gaku takes great pride in you being his s/o, practically everyone's darling around the company of both his coworkers, staff and friends

everyone except his sometimes, apparently.

He's 100% for you to be independent and having strong relationships with others, being dependable and all that. But he can tend to get...possessive for lack of a better term.

He knows he's special to you, thats something in which his confidence would never wain, but he does need his alone, quality time with you. It helps him recharge especially after a long day.

As much as he loves that you're always present and there for both his and your own friends, he's still not above blurting out his needs that you should take a break from tending to everyone else and do something chill with him, like watching a movie or going for a drive.

His schedule was already hectic in certain seasons, so quality time is important to him as it is

It doesn't happen too quick at least, he'll give at least a 2 week grace period before his arms wrap around you from behind and he practically begs you to not leave and go do something besides being at his side.

With that said, its pretty easy to recognize when he's jealous.

Even if he's on good terms with the person, there's a painfully particular frown he gives when you're talking to them and he's been left out while standing by.

One thats easy for people that aren't you to spot as well, which has led to much more teasing than he'd be willing to admit.

Though the good part is that after his bouts of jealousy he feels the need to make up for lost time by taking you to an expensive dinner to remind the both of you how exclusive your relationship is

Kujo Tenn

Tenn is conflicted

He once had an impulsive thought to take you out more, but all his ideas would greatly interfere with his schedule, at least the ones that he feels would be enough to consider quality time

Sometmes he feels like you belong to everyone and not just him; which isn't necassarily bad, in fact he can relate, always trying to please his fans over his own needs and wants

The fact you're so kind is part of why he fell for you. Even when he had his moments where other people would consider him cold, you were always nice and understanding towards him

But that doesn't mean he won't pout like an annoyed cat when he sees you mingling at small parties and even with his other group members while leaving him in the background practically.

At times he's even petty enough to excuse himself from the room while pretending he has something better to do (though he usually comes back at realizing he's being a tad childish)

Once you notice he's jealous he'll ignore you a bit as 'punishment' but all you have to do is pet his head or let him rest it on your lap and its like he's reset and all is forgiven

He won't go as far as wanting to have you cut contact with the person at least not verbally but you can tell when he'd prefer to have your attention more

Alternatively you can buy him sweets and he'll be a little more content

but he definitely wants to go on some kind of date with you. Maybe two for good measure. Of just you and him, whether its something a bit more outside like going to the amusment park or just spending the day in each other's presence without taking any other calls (unless its for work)

Tsunashi Ryunosuke

Ryunosuke is not a jealous man. He trusts his s/o 100% (which would be a catastrophe if his judgement of character wasn't astute before dating someone)

Though it'd be a lie to say he didn't still go through his bouts of loneliness when its been a while since he's seen his fellow group members or even you due to his schedule. He wants to be happier when you tell him about the other things you've done, but ends up having a bittersweet taste in his mouth after hearing it.

It moreso makes him feel bad that he can't control his emotions getting the better of him, rather than directing it towards you.

And so, after realization, Ryuu figures the best way to cure it is to try and catch you the next time the both of you have enough free time to make your relationship feel special again. Easier said than done though.

Unlike Gaku, he wouldn't ask for much in terms of spending time with you alone. Just a night spent at either of your homes, making dinner or even ordering in and watching something and talking.

Weirdly enough, his other friends notice faster than you his feelings about the matter. He still looks at you fondly when you aren't looking back, but its different.

After a few attempts at denying when being asked about it, he'd finally admit that he'd been missing you

Even if the person he's jealous of is in vicinity when they hear that its pretty hard to be upset with him when he puts on such a genuinely somber face

Ryuu tries not to make a big deal out of it, assuring that he's fine with whatever you choose to do with your time

(which, obviously you'd spend more time with him)

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 4

Joan Watson

How were BBC Sherlock shippers so rancid about a WOMAN who wasnt even in the SAME SHOW?????

Martin Freeman of BBC Sherlock insulted Elementary and specifically Lucy Liu in the press. He straight up called Lucy Liu a "dog" in an interview APPARENTLY as a joke, because calling female actors ugly is hilarious. Benedict Cumberbatch was more measured about it, but he still said he was cynical about Elementary because it would lose the "male friendship" dynamic, which of course Johnlock shippers used against Joan Watson fans. Even the lead BBC Sherlock actors got in on the yaoi victimization of Joan Watson... 😔

she wasn't even in the same SHOW as the yaoi I've been convinced she deserves to win the entire poll. I was a Johnlocker but I did watch the first season of Elementary and it was fine????? It was totally okay????? Especially in hindsight given how hard Sherlock season four flopped. Also Lucy Liu is a queen and deserved zero vitriol for *checks notes* playing a character???? A fucking fictional character???????? Oh my god we were all SO mean to this show and we (or at least I) thought it was like The Good Fight™️, like we were defending BBC Sherlock against copyright infringement and straightwashing and Jonny Lee Miller's bizarre scarf, (it wasn't a good scarf I do stand by that) but then Elementary didn't make Holmes and Watson a couple either???? And also it didn't insult its audience constantly etc etc we've all seen the Hbomberguy Sherlock is Garbage video. This is really long sorry hashtag justice for Joan Watson.

Misa Amane

she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.

she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!

Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime.

[riddle-me-ri]

👉👈 I would uuuhhhh very much enjoy a Dormouse type reader x Jervis somewhere in the future, also would really like if you did the rest of the dork squad reacting to reader dying cause I'm a sucker for angst BUT AS ALWAYS there's no pressure, I know it's a lot, take as much time as you need, and only write if you want and you're up for it!! Love you lots, good luck on your driver's test, keep on being amazing!!!

a/n: asdfggh aww my beloved gus gus thank you so much you're amazing ilysm. Unfortunately, I failed my test BUT I'd love nothing more than to do the dormouse type reader! And I've already gotten the request for the scarecrows so it's only a matter of time for the Mad Hatters so I already imagined I'd be finishing off the wee angst series anyway but god to know there’s a need lol

Content Warning: nothing crazy just mentions of some small pain inflictions as a means to wake up reader (i.e. flicks, head smacks, things like that) better to be safe than sorry and mentions of somnophilia but no explicit detail

The Mad Hatters with a Dormouse Type Reader

Arkhamverse Mad Hatter:

Albeit you always falling asleep can be…tiring on its own. 

(he does get aggravated sometimes but never shows you directly)

He does appreciate your loyalty. 

At least you're always there for him…physically. 

You always manage to be a small voice of reason for him

Even when he doesn't realize it 

Oftentimes he may take credit for your comments for his own. 

Jervis shows his appreciation by always including you, no matter where or what.

Whether you're listening or not, he's just glad to finally have a companion. 

BTAS Mad Hatter: 

Jervis finds you absolutely adorable.

Even though your sleeping habits are a bit cumbersome…

He's pleased to find that you actually pay more attention when you’re asleep than those who do when they are wide awake.

Which makes you incredibly helpful, he’s always amazed at the amount you recall.

You also know just when to be alert and awake, but of course, he knows that comes with a quick crash later. 

As your relationship develops, he does go an extra length to ensure you’re comfortable

Don’t ask where the pillows and blankets come from, he just HAS them on standby somehow.

(also no he totally didn’t kiss the top of your head, that was absolutely a ~dream~)

TNBA Mad Hatter:

Like other Jervi, he’s at first annoyed with your relentless napping.

However, he can’t deny you’re incredibly insightful for someone who normally snoozes away most of the time.

Whenever he thinks allowed while tinkering at something, you’ll mumble something he hadn’t considered. 

(kind of like Arkham, he’ll likely take the credit sometimes)

He does appreciate your input, he just has a hard time showing it. 

He grows to not mind your endless naps after a while.

Your soft snoring and mumbles are the only noise he welcomes while he’s working. 

Like BTAS, he is also likely to make sure you’re most comfortable when you’re sleeping.

Gotham Mad Hatter: 

Most likely to try and keep you awake for as long as possible before giving up.

And inevitably trying again later or the next day.

You’re extremely lucky you look cute when you’re sleeping.

Jervis is likely to shake you or gently pat you upside your head to wake you up.

He does let you sleep some days.

But if he’s particularly hyperactive about something or someone he wants your full attention. 

You do surprise him sometimes when you talk in your sleep.

Sometimes you intentionally say questionable things in your sleep just to get back at him for all his interruptions. 

Harley Quinn: TAS Mad Hatter:

This Jervis is most likely to be like his literary counterpart. 

Don't be surprised if you wake up to see tea being poured on your face.

Or if you felt some flicks to your temple. 

Don't worry though, he'll gladly wash your face or kiss wherever he afflicts you. 

Jervis will insist it’s because he knows no better alternatives to wake you.

(absolutely untrue, man just thinks your scrunched up face is adorable)

Jervis relies on you to remind him of a lot of things. 

What day it is, keep score during tea party games, which tea cup has cyanide in it…the usual.

Joker’s Asylum Mad Hatter:

Jervis cherishes you. 

You’re so calm, quiet, and gentle…so opposite to what he’s used to. 

You are something of an emotional support dormouse. 

You always wake up just in the nick of time to help him from relapsing. 

This Jervis is most likely to genuinely nap with you sometimes. 

When Jervis sleeps next to you, it’s usually the best sleep he gets. 

Jervis actually dreams happy dreams for once…

He can see a storybook ending where he can have hats, tea, and a loyal dormouse by his side. An ending where he’s happy.

Secret Six Mad Hatter: 

I hope you don’t have many boundaries, cause Jervis will break them whilst you are asleep. 

Don’t be surprised if you stir awake to five hats somehow balancing on your head. 

Or his arm propped up against your shoulder or his head leaned up against yours. 

You’re also kind of like an emotional support dormouse for Jervis.

All he’s ever wanted was a companion, and he’s found a reliable one in you. 

He doesn’t mind your incessant sleeping, he just rolls with it. 

Jervis knows he has his quirks and you have yours, and what luck you so happen to relate to the dormouse of all characters!

And just cause this Jervis is the most canonically naughty than the others, if you’re down he has no qualms about somnophilia

[chaosfairy18]

The shower incident

A little fic inspired by something @bigmack2go told me. Has brief talks about sex regarding a minor (17) but nothing graphic, it is just Skittery freaking out his little brother gets older and mature. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Skittery loved his little brother. He really did.

Ever since Tumbler had been born when Skittery was four years old, he’d instantly lost all feelings of jealousy over getting a smaller sibling and knew he would protect the little thing with everything he had.

That hadn’t changed now, 17 years later, when Skittery was 21, had two boyfriends – one of which he played in the same soccer team as – and loved them more than he thought he could love someone. Because Tumbler was still mostly his number one priority, next to his mother – not his father, he’d been divorced for a reason.

But as much as he loved him, he was still an older brother and as such it was his duty to embarrass him.

So, when Skittery heard his brother sing in the shower – he didn’t even know he did that, but there was always a first time for something – he didn’t even think before getting his phone out and starting to record it. It wasn’t terrible, Benny at least hit most of the notes, but he’d still send it to Swifty and Bumlets later to laugh about his rendition of various songs from Rocky Horror Picture Show he’d been playing in the background during his shower. He’d not sung in the beginning, but now he was – kind of badly – singing along to “I can make you a man.”

Skittery got closer to the door, snickering quietly to not get too much of it into the recording. He just got into “Hot Patootie – Bless My Soul” when someone inside the bathroom laughed: “You could at least try to hit the notes.”

Someone that was definitely not his brother but instead his brothers ‘best friend’ Kat.

Before really thinking about it, Skittery ran away to his room – door open so he could hear if anything else happened – and tried to not scream because his brother was alone with another boy locked in the bathroom while he was allegedly showering, and they had music on. What were they doing locked up in the bathroom together in the first place??

He didn’t want to entertain the idea that they actually had been showering, he couldn’t take that, but what better alternative was there? He hadn’t even known Benny was gay or bi or- well that he liked other boys at all. And one would think that he’d mention it at some point, especially with how much time he spent around him and Bumlets and Swifty.

And now his little brother was locking himself in the bathroom with his best friend – who Skittery also hadn’t thought he liked men – and covered up whatever they did with music. Tumbler was seventeen, basically a child, so how-

The lock could be heard, and the door of the bathroom opened. “So then see you in two days, right?”

“Yeah, see you then!”

Skittery crept down the hallway, just fast enough to see Kat go down the stairs to leave the house, Tumbler still in front of the bathroom. As his brother was just staring at him, he said: “I’ll uh… go showering now. You done?”

“No, I need to shower.”

“Didn’t you just shower?”, Skittery raised an eyebrow. That had been the whole cover of whatever he had been doing in there after all. And his hair looked a bit wet.

Tumbler grinned, hands fidgeting. “No, Kat showered. I was just- well in. Was wearing clothes though!”

Skittery took a few deep breaths to not scream or punch the wall. For a few moments he thought about questioning this whole thing further, which would probably lead to his brother being annoyed or actually admitting they had made out or done whatever and Skittery wasn’t ready for this kind of confirmation. “Yeah just tell me when you’re done.”, he said and turned around, this time closing his door.

Skittery: I need to bleach my eyes and ears

Bumlets: I’d prefer you didn’t doll. What happened?

Skittery: Heard Tumbler

Locked in the bathroom

With Kat

Swifty: Oh shit

Bumlets: We'll come over

Or do you want to come here?

Fifteen minutes later Skittery stood in front of their apartment – it was really all of theirs, with how often Skittery slept there and stayed there. Bumlets opened and hugged him before leading him to the living room, Skittery not protesting when he just pulled his head down to rest under his chin and pulled him close on the couch. He probably needed it.

“Tell us what happened. If you can.”

Skittery sighed and explained the entire thing to them, Bumlets patting his head all the while.

“You think they were really having shower sex?”

“Swifty-“

“He said he had to shower after, so he couldn’t have been in the shower with him, right?”, said Skittery wanting to believe it to be true.

Swifty shrugged. “Well he still watched Kat shower, probably.”

“Don’t say it like that. And he’s too young for sex in general.”

“How old were you again when you and Blink-“

“Boys.”, Bumlets interrupted. “Maybe less talk about what they did okay? Do you want to talk to him about it? Not what exactly happened, just if he has something with Kat. He knows you wouldn’t judge.”

Skittery hummed, just trying to hide his face more in Bumlets’ neck. “Don’t wanna ask about it. But if I don’t it’ll just happen again because he thinks he got away with it.”

He probably had to either way. No matter what, he’d need to have a shovel talk with Kat if there was something happening. And either force them to leave their door open every time or evacuate the house.

“At least you didn’t get the flirty twin.”, Bumlets joked, referencing how his own little brother had been dating Kit, Kat’s twin, for half a year now. “Flipper was whining a lot about how he wasn’t sure if he meant their playful flirting in drama class because he’s always like that.”

“At least Flipper talked to you about it.”, retorted Skittery. Was he really that untrustworthy? Or didn’t Tumbler feel comfortable with him now?

Swifty took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m sure he trusts you Mica. Might just try to figure it out, you know?”

“But why in the shower?”

“Forget about that for a little while. Why don’t we watch Addams Family and I’ll make you a hot chocolate?”

Skittery a bit wanted to protest that he didn’t need it and it probably wasn’t that bad, but he knew they were just doing it because they loved him and wanted to help. This wasn’t just for him it was also for them and he appreciated that.

They watched movies until they fell asleep, Skittery – at least for a while – forgetting he’d have to have a talk with his brother soon.

[cosmic-day]

Having seen the final season of The Umbrella Academy: I didn’t hate it quite as much as most of fandom seem to, but I also didn’t love it. Rambly thoughts and massive spoilers under the cut:

First of all, I don’t know how much the compressed episode count affected things, but I felt like adding  ‘could/would have worked better if fleshed out more’ at the end of every sentence in this review.

As far as positives go, I was OK with the ending. It has been baked into the show from the beginning that the Hargreeves siblings only break whatever they try to fix, and their erasure from the universe being the only thing that restores the timeline does make sense. I kind of respect the show for committing to that, rather than finding a last minute “they died but not really” cop out.

I loved Abigail’s role in it as well and think that is a really underrated bit of satisfying writing: Abigail who has been literally and figuratively fridged for three seasons gets to tell Reginald that she never asked for this and never wanted it, and most importantly gets to not only seize control of the narrative but end it. That part really worked for me.

Viktor had a decent arc and also got to confront Reginald about his shitty parenting which was also satisfying.

Unfortunately, there the positives end.

Most of the other characters got short changed. Klaus was stuck in an irrelevant subplot, as he often is, but here it felt more irrelevant than usual, and also gratuitously dark – I mean, it’s a dark show at times but this felt like trauma porn for the sake of it. Allison had some good moments, but not much of an arc. Diego and Luther were both reduced to goofy, borderline pathetic comic relief in a way that just felt mean spirited at times. Ben and Jennifer needed way more time to work properly.

And then there’s the Five/Lila of it all.

I love these guys. Not only are they my favourite individual characters, but I loved their enemies to chaotic besties arc, and I really wanted more of that friendship. The subway plot was a brilliant idea, and I could have watched a whole episode (I’m thinking the Last Of Us episode ‘Long Long Time’), following them surviving together and developing their friendship (and also maybe addressing little irrelevant details like Five being the killer of her parents). But they just had to shoehorn in a romance, by Steve Blackman’s admission, because they ‘had to have a love story’ for Five. OK, but why? Why does a character ‘need’ a romance? Also, protip, but if you do something because you feel it ‘has’ to happen, and not because you want to develop the characters in any way, it shows.

I should say I don’t particularly care about the age gap issues. Nor do I entirely agree with the argument that it’s ooc for Five, because our precious blorbo Would Never betray his brother like that. I love Five, but he’s a little shit. Also, I’ve seen many complaints that he spent decades in the apocalypse and never gave up so why is he giving up now, but maybe he gave up because he spent decades in the apocalypse. Maybe he’s just tired. Everyone has limits, and Five has hit his.

I just hate that platonic relationships are always erased, sidelined and overwritten in favour of romantic relationships because those are obviously more important and more interesting. Five’s friendship with Lila and devotion to his family are also love stories, and they’re not lesser because they’re not romantic. I also violently hate love triangles. This one was particularly annoying and not even properly resolved.

Overall the season just felt lacking. Where were the great big goofy, joyous setpieces, or alternatively, if such is your jam, the dark and deranged pieces of ultra violence set to a banger of a pop tune. Where, in short, were Footloose and Istanbul Not Constantinople. (Though I will admit Baby Shark made me laugh.)

Anyway. I wouldn’t say the show is ruined for me, but it was a disappointing conclusion and my least favourite season by far.

[samieree]

Hi! I just finished one-shot requested by @babyssi890

Hope you gonna like it 💕

~

Heimdall x reader (female)(childhood friends)

You and Heimdall have known each other for a very long time since childhood. Over the years, you have become one of the few people who is able to talk to him normally, even though he mainly talks because you are rather shy. Besides, there's something very special about you. As you are the goddess of secrets, you're the only person in the nine realm whose thoughts Heimdall can't read. He had to accept it, but he doesn't like it because it means… that you might also be the only person who could hit him.

~

It would have been almost the same day in Asgard as any other, if not for some unexpected visitor. You were standing in the mead hall with Heimdall and listening to him complain about this new guest.

You had to admit it was pretty cool having Heimdall as a friend, a person who could read anyone's mind except yours. You were always up to date with all the gossip and you knew which ones were true. Besides, let's face it, it was fun to gossip about everyone with him. He might still be rude to you, but you could see that he treated you better than anyone else.

Not as good as the All-father, but always something, right?

“Well, since I couldn’t drop him off the wall, I figured maybe the Einherjers would take him down, and I'd take a look at it. But of course they can't do anything right, and weary I had to do it myself.” he sighed and took a sip of his mead. “I was about to get rid of that annoying brat and then - imagine - Thor came out of nowhere and threatened what he'd do to me if I got another step to 'Allfather's guest', pff…”

“What exactly did he threaten you with?” you asked out of curiosity what was stopping your cocky friend from doing what he wanted so badly.

“Well…” he looked away, searching for the right words for what he saw in Thor's mind. He was still terribly disgusted by it and would like to forget about the sight. “You do not want to know.”

“I already know from your expression.” you didn't really have any special idea, but since you were the only person Heimdall couldn't read….

Let's say you enjoyed using it. If you didn't want to talk about something, you could keep quiet or just lie. And even if he had some suspicions, he couldn’t confirm them in any way. Of course, you could see that he didn't like it at all, but at least one thing was comforting: As the goddess of secrets, you could easily find out about every person's secret, even his if you only wanted.

But surprisingly, the two of you got along very well. He couldn't read you, but you could possibly read him. And so from childhood, alternating altercations with gossip.

“I think you're exaggerating again. This guy…” you didn't get to finish as Heimdall suddenly interrupted you.

“Please do not involve us in your pathetic attempts to impress one another.” you turned around and saw Thrúd with someone, possibly Loki. As you can see, Sif's daughter was showing him around, and as Heimdall had spotted them… He couldn't help but comment, as always.

Not that it particularly annoyed you, because you usually ignored his reproaches, even when you had a good retort in mind, because somehow… you didn't want to say anything. Were you afraid of offending him? That's possible. Were you too shy for that? Even more likely.

“You're Loki, right? Guest of the All-father?” you asked, stepping a little closer to the teenagers. Even though you heard Heimdall's heavy sigh behind you and his soft mocking of you.

He seemed to dislike it very much whenever your attention shifted to someone else, he had been like that since he was a child. Only then he just pulled your hair when he didn't like something, and now... Well, you see.

In private, he could even be nice from time to time. You remember once he even braided you a lot of braids while you were keeping him company on the wall. You still remember that moment with a smile on your face. Oh, what you wouldn't give to feel his hands in your hair again, gently separating strands and braiding them into individual braids… He had really skilled hands.

He was almost like a different person then. Or was it the real him? It was hard for you to tell.

“Um… yeah, it's me. And you are...?”

“It's y/n, she can know anyone's secret if she wants to.” Thrúd explained, and then lowered her voice and leaned close to the boy's ear. “She's a bit like Heimdall, but she's not annoying.”

“I heard it. I'm sorry the truth upsets you all so much. Maybe if you were honest more often, you'd get used to it.” you sighed softly as you heard your friend interject again.

It was almost always like that when you wanted to meet someone new or even talk to an old friend. Somehow, Heimdall was suddenly beside you and effectively shooing your mate away.

Unless someone was really stubborn, then it could even come to fight and well... It's not hard to guess who always won.

“What are you doing for the All-father?” you asked Loki. You wanted to approach him and go somewhere to talk calmly, without Heimdall behind your back, but suddenly you felt him hold you by the end of your long braid.

Sometimes that's why you didn't tie your hair up at all, but today it was this damn braid...

“We'll talk later?” asked Thrud, seeing your situation. You just nodded your head, grabbing your braid and throwing it forward surprisingly easily. It seems that if you want to talk to Loki normally, you will have to wait until Heimdall goes to the wall and then you will have a moment of peace...

Yeah, about Heimdall… You turned to him, crossing your arms over your chest. He seemed unfazed by your gaze and drank the rest of his mead as if nothing had happened.

“Something's wrong? Are you still staring at me because you like me or what?” he asked, setting his mug on the table.

You felt your cheeks flush slightly at the second question. Right now, you were silently thanking for that he can’t read your mind with his skills, because you'd probably have sunk to the ground if he'd found out years ago that you have a crush on him...

“Why do you always do this to me? Can't I talk to anyone normally?” the Asgardians, seeing what was happening, quickly got up from the long table and left the room, leaving the two of you alone.

“What do you mean? Talk to whoever you want. You never listen to good advice anyway and do what you want.” you furrowed your brows. What is he up to?

“Good advice? When was the last time you gave me any advice?” he sighed and started pacing around you, explaining what he meant.

“We both know that my judgments are the most accurate because I know what other people really think, but after all these years, you can't even trust me a bit. Since you're really so obtuse about relationships, I'm trying to gently educate you on who's good company for you and who-”

“You don't think anyone is good company for me!” you shouted suddenly, interrupting him. He stopped in front of you and looked at you with obvious surprise on his face.

He knew he had annoyed you with his behavior many times, but you had never raised your voice at him before. But now… You were getting really tired of enduring his weird whims and shooing everyone away from you. You're not a child to be protected from everyone, and the world isn't so bad that every person you meet has bad intentions towards you.

“Doesn't that braid press your head?”

“And yours not? Why-?!” you weren’t allowed to finish the question, because the blond interrupted you.

“You know what, go to your room and cool down a bit, because you're getting dramatic-” unable to take it anymore, you raised your hand and unexpectedly slapped him on the cheek with your open hand.

In a rush of emotions, you also decided to use your skills for the first time in a long time. You didn't like to know the secrets of others, but at that moment you were pushed to the limit of your endurance. That's why you did it, you decided to find out what secret Heimdall is hiding, maybe it has to do with...

…you.

Shock also crossed your face as it all hit you and began to piece together. He loved you. That's why he wanted you all to himself and always chased everyone away from you. He wanted you to spend as much time together as possible. He was jealous when you paid more attention to someone than to him. That's what it was all about.

You were just beginning to understand what you actually did. You hit that untouchable god who always dodged every blow. And now you watched him as he pulled away from you in shock too, holding hand on cheek.

“You…” he must have noticed the unmistakable blue flash that passed through your eyes when you used your powers. And he didn't like it...

He quickly walked away, leaving you alone. No biting remark, no hateful glare, nothing… It was even worse than having him yell at you for doing it.

It’s obvious his pride just took a hard hit, and he'll be quick to put something cold on his cheek so nobody will see the red mark of it. Although you had the impression that he was much more affected by the fact that you learned his deepest secret. Something he was... ashamed of. He was ashamed that for someone he would be able to do even he doesn't know how much.

You felt terrible about what you did. After all, you shouldn't have hit him, despite what an asshole he is...

You bowed your head in disappointment and went to your room. You have to put it all together in your head...

* * *

You couldn't help not being able to go to sleep. You thought about Heimdall all the time, about what happened between you two and how he feels about you, especially since you reciprocated those feelings.

You steeled yourself and left the room, determined to talk to him. You went to his door and knocked, but either he wasn't there or he chose to be silent as the grave.

You sighed quietly and said to yourself that you can't leave it like this, but you can't break down this door, you don't even have enough strength for it...

Slowly taking steps, you left Odin's house and headed to the only place you could think of.

It was actually your and Heimdall's place, where you usually came to talk and gossip in peace, and you used to play there when you were children. He once nearly knocked his tooth out tripping over a tree root.

Exactly, that tree was what gave this place an unusual appearance. Long branches with tiny leaves hanging down to the ground hid a small clearing from the world. In fact, it's hard to even call it a clearing, but let's say.

That's where you directed your steps, and when you got close, you heard something like... Hitting something sharp against the trunk?

You parted the leaves with your hands to enter the shaded area under the tree's canopy and saw Heimdall standing in front of the trunk, striking it again and again with his sword. He didn't say anything, his expression was impenetrable, but it was obvious that he had come here to calm down. You cleared your throat to get attention, but it failed.

“I…” you started, hoping he wouldn't ignore you to the end of the world. Because he can't, right? Whom you're trying to fool, he's capable of that “I want to apologize. I shouldn't have hit you, but I could handle not being able to talk to anyone normally.”

“Excuses” he grunted in response, not even looking at you and continuing his activity.

“I know you were jealous, but-”

“I'm not jealous.” he cut you off quickly, suddenly hitting the trunk even harder. Is he still just calming down or is he trying to chop down that tree?

Silently, you approached him slowly, placing your arm on his hand, which was holding the sword just after he swung again. You were afraid he was going to knock it off, but surprisingly he didn't. After a moment, he let go of his sword, which fell to the ground at your feet.

“What do you want from me?” since the words weren't getting through to him in any way, you started thinking about doing something else to quickly and accurately explain how you felt to him. “You came to stare at me?”

Smiling slightly, you shook your head and slowly raised your free hand to place it on his still slightly reddened cheek. You didn't have enough time to do it because he grabbed your hand, but it didn't matter because you had a different purpose in all this.

Taking advantage of how close you were, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. You were afraid he was about to push you away, so it was just a quick kiss after which you pulled away. You wanted to take another step back to calm your pounding heart, but you couldn't. Not because you didn't want to, but because, still holding your hand, Heimdall pulled you back to him, watching you closely.

“What was that?”

“It doesn't matter…” you looked away, flustered. Gods, what were you thinking… You must have misread everything and put the final nail in the coffin for your friendship…

“It does.” he replied immediately without taking his eyes off you. “It was quite… pleasant.” you saw his eyes slowly move to your lips. He finally let your hand rest on his cheek, intertwining your fingers a bit.

You shivered as he leaned in towards you, only brushing his lips lightly against yours at first. You didn't quite know how to react to this sudden tenderness from him, which you definitely weren't prepared for, even though you knew how he felt about you.

One of his hands slid from your hand to your hip and slowly traveled up, stopping at your chest. Oh no, you think you know what's coming...

You almost jumped when he suddenly tickled you. Your lips parted for a moment and he took advantage of that to slide his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You smiled and felt him do this too, just before he pulled away a bit.

“No, Heimdall…” you said, seeing what he was about to do. “Do not even try…!” too late, as soon as he started tickling you, you couldn't help but laugh.

You felt your knees begin to buckle under you, so since you're about to fall to the ground anyway... At least not alone. You wrapped your free arm around his neck just before you started to fall over. He couldn't have predicted it, so you both landed on the ground, only you in a slightly worse position...

“Ouch!” you exclaimed laughing. Your back just landed on the hilt of a sword you both had completely forgotten about in your rapture of love.

Heimdall wanted to kiss you again, but disturbed by your sudden cry, he rose up on his forearms, noticing the sword lying beneath you.

“Oops...” he replied in his characteristic tone and pulled his sword out from under you.

“Now you should massage it for me...” you groaned, reaching a hand to the sore spot on your back. You'll have a bruise there any minute.

“Turn onto your belly.” he answered. Well, you said about this massaging more in the form of a joke, that's why you looked at him surprised as he got up from you, sitting astride you at the height of your step. “You won't get a special invitation.”

Giving him one last look, you rolled onto your stomach, crossing your arms in front of you to rest your head on them. It wasn't long before you felt his hands, first massaging your shoulders, then slowly descending to the hurt area.

“You can do this to me all night.. ” you muttered dreamily, enjoying what he was doing to you.

“Sunshine, I know better ways to spend the night...” you didn't even notice as he leaned down, almost laying on top of you, to say it in your ear and send a shiver through your entire body. “The question is, do you want to know them?”

That's the question... Do you want to know them?

~

-> part 2 -> general masterlist -> God of War: Ragnarök masterlist

[the-fictive-haven]

Seeing as we just had someone new arrive from another Circus yet again, I think it's finally time to do a - drumroll please - ... ✨sourcemate search!✨

We are looking for fictives/introjects from The Amazing Digital Circus to chat and hopefully become friends with host Yami and our own Circus gang! EVERYONE Circus related is welcome! Doubles? No problem. Traumagenic system? Great. Endo or self made? Awesome. You are or feel you're the same as the original? Cool! You're canon divergent or from an alternate world? Come on in! This is a safe space for all fictives and their sysmates.

Finding sourcemates would be awesome, but canonmates even more so! We'll give a quick description of everyone so you can get a better idea of who they are and if you'd like to get to know them, or if you may already know them!

Meet the cast;

>This group are all from the same timeline, which is very similar to the original one, but with some different events. All of them have memory of these same canon divergent happenings, or if not, have at the very least accepted the others as their canonmates.

(OG) Pomni - the first Circus introject to show up here. Nervous, breaks under pressure, prone to small outbursts, but a sweet girl and a good friend nonetheless.

(OG) Jax - has a bit of a softer side (don't tell him I said that) and more teasing and annoying than an outright violent jerk. Makes fun of me any chance he gets.

(OG) Ragatha - yeah she's the same personality-wise as the original canon, actually. One of the system "moms" and caretakers. Fuckin love her. So gay for this bitch.

(OG) Gangle - also the same. Clings to me like glue half the time because apparently I'm her security blanket or something, not that I mind. I have gotten the Jaxes to stop bullying her, though, even if only because I'm basically god here and they don't want to get put in time-out out of bounds (lol)

(OG) Zooble - we don't know a lot about her, actually. She doesn't bother to interact with anyone much and most of the time we have no idea where TF she is.

(OG) Caine - ... Caine.

>Everyone hereafter hails from an alternate reality! All of these divergent worlds are given codenames that'll be used when referencing these headmates to make distinguishing them easier.

The Darkside timeline: DS!Pomni - a more jaded and done-with-this-shit Pomni from a world where basically, everyone fucking died (abstracted). Her colour scheme is black, dark purple, and silver/grey. She usually appears glitched in our headspace, the abnormalities growing worse when she's distressed.

The Chain timeline: Chain!Jax - a more quiet Jax who keeps to himself and quite frankly doesn't give a damn. Dresses differently (sassy leather and jewelry type shit) and smokes for some odd reason, I don't even know where he's getting cigs from. The name of this timeline doesn't have much actual significance, it just needed to be named something.

The Ura timeline: Ura!Gangle - her default is comedy and she refuses to return to tragedy, literally destroying the mask and not looking back. While she may feel happier, the lack of balance has essentially made it turn into full-on mania and she'll carry on how she wants with no regard or notice of how it affects others. Also she has no sense of personal space. Her memories show that her world's Jax had grown low-key scared of her, she may have even bullied him back. Ribbons are blue instead of red.

That's everyone for now! But more are bound to keep coming in so we'll update this post as needed. Feel free to send asks, reply, repost, or message us!

[jhilsara]

Tie Me to You/ Chapter 5

Chapter Summary: Mika finds some compassion from Erik and James in her grief.

Word Count: 2.5k

<Last | Next>

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, and parental abuse

This fanfic will explore heavier emotions and will have eventual smut. Minors DNI

Can also be found on AO3 X

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

You know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that

Labyrinth - Taylor Swift

Chapter 5

Mika is sitting at the dinner table trying to ignore the whispered hissing across the table. It’s hard when it’s the two men she has the least interactions with and when she definitely knows they’re talking about her. 

They think they’re being subtle, but it’s obvious they aren’t. Especially when Sam’s version of a whisper just sounds like a normal speaking voice. Just somehow rougher instead of softer. 

“James stop staring her down, it’s creepy… and not helping you.” Sam tells his older brother with a clipped tone in his voice.  

“Oh? Like you’re not constantly glaring daggers?” James redirects with a raised brow.  

Mika is trying to focus on the conversation Matthew is having with her, but it’s hard. She catches Damien across the table giving her a sympathetic look. He knows where her head is at, and it’s not focused on Matthew. 

“…that’s my resting face you dick.” Sam growls out at him.  

She can feel their eyes on her, and it takes all her attention to focus on Matthew. She’s even turned her body to face him fully. Too bad she doesn’t know what he’s saying. Was it something about the show they’ve been watching together? She just smiles and nods along, pretending to listen.  

Erik, who sits on the other side of her, leans towards his two stubborn brothers. “Why don’t you both just talk to her?” He calls them out with an annoyed tone. Crossing his arms looking at the two men in irritation.  

The table goes silent as everyone turns towards James and Sam. Mika doesn’t look up, instead taking more interest in her food.   

“Fuck this,” Sam groans and gets up, storming out of the dining room.  

The front door slams and Mika physically flinches at that. Erik puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder in comfort.  

“Excuse me.” James mutters stalking off on his own. His anger was much more repressed and simmering under the surface. He’s probably skulking off to her grandfather’s office. 

Erik sighs and stands up, “Sorry for their attitudes. I can talk to James.”  

Erik leaves the room and it’s just Damien, Matthew, and her. She sighs and feels herself losing her appetite. She excuses herself to go to her room. 

She still hasn’t changed the bedroom or unpacked any of her belongings. The room is still very much her grandfathers… and it’s exhausting. She lays on the bed and covers her eyes.  

She doesn’t know what to do about James or Sam… It was so easy to talk to the others, but those two. They made it hard.  She wonders if she’ll ever be close to them, but to be fair she wasn’t close to the other three either. They were just much easier to talk to and get along with.  

She wouldn’t say they were friends yet, but they were getting along. Which is more than she could hope to ask for.  

Could she really live in amicable hostility for the rest of her life? If the three of them just stayed out of each other’s way, would it be fine? Somehow this solution is still the better alternative than moving back in with her parents. She could almost laugh. 

There’s a soft knock at her door and she doesn’t move from the bed. “Come in.”  

The door creaks open and she doesn’t move to look at who it is, settling for wallowing in self-pity on the bed. “I talked to James, he’s much more reasonable than Sam.” Erik’s voice says as he comes in. 

“Are those your bags in the corner?” Erik’s voice asks in surprise.  

She finally sits up, a little embarrassed. “Yes?” she says it like it’s a question but those are her bags filled with her belongings. Included some of the miscellaneous items she had grabbed from her room before storming out of her parents. 

Erik gives her a look of concern before walking over to the dresser. He reaches for it, and she almost vaults herself off the bed. “Don’t open those!” 

Her voice is louder than she wants, and it hinges on desperation. Erik raises his brow before opening the drawer and looking in. He makes a small face, as if he’s confirming what he already knew. He looks at her in pity.  

“Mika… have you emptied any of his things?” he asks her softly.  

She stands in front of him, looking into the drawer of her grandfathers’ clothes like something had come to haunt her. “I did in the bathroom…” she says in a small voice.  

Erik sighs and closes the drawer, looking down at her. “Sweet girl, you can’t live like this.”  

“I just, I couldn’t do it…” She says, “Every time I opened it I just, I froze. It felt like if I didn’t empty it out, then it was like he would come back.” She admits softly.  

“I guess that’s a little silly, huh?”  

Erik looks at her with sincerity, “It’s not foolish, you’re grieving. There’s a difference.” He tells her. “This isn’t good for you though; you need to make this room yours. Or you’ll feel like a guest in this home forever.”  

She shakes her head, “I… I can’t. Physically I can’t, I tried to last week and I just…” she grits her teeth and sighs moving back to sit on the bed.  

“I can’t.” she murmurs.  

There’s a pause before Erik talks again, “What if I did it? I could clean out his stuff and just put it in his office in boxes. So, it’s all in one place for when you are ready?” he suggests. 

“You would do that?” she asks him in surprise.  

Erik nods his head. “I can redecorate in here too if you want, make it yours.”  

“You really don’t have to do that, I mean, it’s a really nice offer but-“ Erik cuts her off raising his hand telling her to stop. “Don’t worry about it. Think of it as an apology for how I treated you at first.” He pushes himself off the dresser and leaves the room.  

“I can do it soon. Just leave it to me.” He waves at her before leaving the room. 

She gives him a half-hearted wave as he leaves, and she deflates. She pads over to the bathroom wanting to take a shower so hot she can’t feel her skin anymore.  

It’s finally a nice sunny day in early spring that Mika feels like she can tackle the back yard. The old flowers have died and gone, and she wasn’t about to spend money on a gardener like her grandfather.  

She also thinks it would be a therapeutic activity for her. She’s outside, her black hair pulled back out of her face into a ponytail, elbows deep in soil. The only thought she really has passing through her head is if she can even keep the flowers alive. She went on a run to the closest garden center with Damien and Erik. The three of them bought more flowers than was likely necessary. She’s debating on if she should plant the roses next to the marigolds or if the hyacinths should replace one of them, when someone sits next to her.  

She pauses and looks up to see James of all people putting on gardening gloves and looks over at her. “The marigolds and white roses will look better next to each other.” He tells her gently. She raises a brow in question. 

James sighs and starts to dig out a hole for the bushes, “Sorry about…well behaving like I have been.” He tells her. 

She pauses and sits up looking at him in surprise, “Oh? What changed?” she asks him going to hand him the rose bush. 

“Thanks.” He starts settling the bush in soil. “Erik came to talk to me…he told me about you in the study.” His hands press the soil down harder than probably necessary. His brow is furrowed as he avoids her gaze.  

“It’s obvious you’re grieving like we are. It was overwhelming and completely out of our control when Harold died. I mean we came home to a young woman in our house telling us our only friend was dead.” He looks up at her and his face furrowed in clear frustration.  

She sighs and digs up her own spot for another rose bush, “To be honest, I wasn’t planning to live here for a while…” She pulls an offending weed out of her way aggressively.  

James looks at her curiously, “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” he pries a bit.  

She bristles a bit, James put the roses in the ground, and she packs the soil harshly.  She doesn’t look up at him. “My father’s a dick is the short story. He was pissed grandpa left everything to me, including the company.”  

She pulls back assessing the bush placements. She turns her head to look at James, “Which I find hysterical since he was always going on about how it was the plan for me to go into the family business !” She bites out the last part like its venom.  

“The second he hears that he gets nothing from a man he never even talked to, I’m the bad guy!” she scoffs in irritation.  

She pulls to sit up straight, her fists clenched tightly in her lap, and she focuses on the ground instead of James. “He made us bury grandpa almost immediately and he had the shortest funeral service imaginable. When grandpa’s attorney came and told us he left me everything...my dad just got so mad.” her anger has washed out of her body as she just sits there staring at the rose bushes.  

“We got into a yelling match that night and he hit me. So, I left.” she whispers. 

“Wait, he hit you?” James tries to ask for clarification, tone clearly furious.  

She just nods nonchalantly, like it's as normal as discussing the weather. She rubs at her face, trying to use her sleeve and not her soil covered hands. She moves to grab the marigolds and starts digging in the dirt again.  

She feels his eyes burn into her form and she wishes he wouldn’t do this. Over analyze her like the older brother he is. He’s not her brother, she doesn’t need his judgmental eyes analyzing her every move.  

He sighs before following her motions to plant marigolds on his side of the bed. “Your father sounds foul and you’re clearly better off without him.” 

His statement surprises her, not that she doesn’t agree with him. She just thought he’d try to talk her into reclaiming some lost relationship with her father like others had before. She remembers Erik’s statement about their own father. ‘Our lives, our father.... let’s just leave it at he’s a real monster.’ She wonders if James feels like they can share this common ground between them.  

She gives a soft huff of a laugh, “Thanks… I just- I don’t even know if I want this company. I’m getting a business degree, but I don’t want one. I hate it…”   

James is quiet, mulling over her words. “What do you think your grandfather would tell you?” he prompts softly.  

She laughs, it’s a cold sharp noise, “I know what he would tell me. He wants me to follow my heart… I don’t even know what my heart wants.” she says with a sigh.  

James smiles, “What a very Harold thing to say.” He shakes his head finishing the section of marigolds he’s planted. 

“Yea just like him huh?” She adds with a soft grin of her own.  

“You don’t need to know what you want yet. If you know you don’t want the company, then don’t take it. You have time to figure out your life.” He tells her, in a tone that’s very much leaves little room for discussion. Like he’s an old wise man and not some twenty-something in the dirt with her. What was he? Maybe five years older than her? 

She looks at him like he’s grown two heads, “If I don’t take it my father will flip. It would also go to him, but he wants to keep it in the family. Our legacy. I can’t escape it.”  she adds with a shake of her head.  

She looks at the flowers and wishes life were as easy as a flower growing. It had a purpose. The flower grows, makes food for the bees, the bees pollinate the other plant life, and the circle of life goes on.  

What was her purpose? Did she even have a reason for living? Would she ever find one?  

Not good enough,

    not good enough,

      not good enough, 

                     not good enough.  

                                          Useless daughter,

                     unloved daughter,

                 useless daughter, 

                                                                        unloved daughter.  

N o   o n e   w a n t s   y o u 

“…What if I did it?” James voice cuts through her spiral of anxious noise in her head. She snaps her head to look at him. She feels how tight her body was and unclenches her fists. She blinks in confusion at his offer. 

“Harold talked to me about it all the time. Honestly human work sounds so much easier than what I was doing before.” James shrugs saying it nonchalantly. “You also have let my brothers and I keep our lives here. It’s a way I can give back to you and him. I can take care of your grandfathers’ legacy.” he says looking at her, his gold eyes piercing.  

He’s serious. 

She gives a little scoff, “I’d actually love nothing more than to do that… We’d have to go through a process though and an announcement.” she warns him. She knows this world; she’s been around the Anderson Toy Company since she was a kid. Was James really okay diving into this without a care? 

“We can do that. It doesn’t have to be now. When do they expect you in the office?” He asks. She can see him already doing mental calculations.  

“After I graduate in 2 months…”  she answers quietly.  

“Then we’ll do it before graduation.” he says matter-of-factly, like that was that. End of discussion.  

“What do I do though? I’m just gonna have a business degree I don’t want…” She adds trying to imagine what a life not burdened by her family’s company would look like. It’s unknown. It’s scary.  

It’s exciting. 

“You could-” James gently grabs the last of the marigolds to plant next to hers, “look at majors at your school that interest you. Get a different degree, something you like.” he suggests. 

“… I did get great scholarships for this degree. I don’t have a big student loan. I only had to take out $10,000.” She hums in thought, more to herself than anything. 

“Don’t worry about the money. Your grandfather left you a lot and I can pay for it. Just find something you think your grandfather would know you’re happy with.” James says, wiping his hands off.  

Her eyebrows raise. “Why would you do that for me?” she asks him.  

Just the other day he was so angry he left the room and couldn’t even look at her. Surely it was more than just Erik talking to him? He was being... so kind. It wasn’t condescending, but genuine. 

He shrugs, “I’m repaying my debts… besides, it’s what Harold would want for you.” he tells her. It’s a peace offering. An apology for how he’s treated her this past month.  

She gives him a real, warm smile, “Thank you James. It means a lot, more than you could know.”  

He just shrugs like it’s not a big deal and stands up, taking his gardening gloves off, “I just know what it’s like to feel trapped.” he tells her with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.  

He walks back inside before she could ask what he meant.  

[rainpebble3]

Snippets Someday!

Heh, so I think I was tagged by @thequeenofthewinter @dirty-bosmer @mareenavee @archangelsunited for this! Thank you for the tag and I'm happy to be able to get to it :D

Again, I'm not sure who has all been tagged or not so I apologise in advance for the multi tag <3 :) @paraparadigm @kookaburra1701 @orfeoarte @gilgamish @thana-topsy @tallmatcha @snippetsrus @rhiannon1199 @inquisitiondragonborn @the-storytellers-seer @elfinismsarts @friend-of-giants @saltymaplesyrup @changelingsandothernonsense @thelightofmorning

Rules:

Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from: * Your first chapter * Your favorite chapter * Your most challenging chapter Alternatively, if you don't write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.

Seeeing as I mentioned in another post how precious my character Ailith is in her story "The Flames of Justice" (which is complete on AO3 😇) This story was something that was initially meant to be a 5 chapter intro to my fic Snarling Wolves but a friend betaread those first few chapters and she said she needed more to understand Ailith... so I gave her more. 70 chapters more than the original 5 :D

Despite all that I put her through I adore Ailith's character. She will always be so special with me, even if I'm painfully blocked on her latest adventures!

First Chapter - This is where we get to see some of Ailith in her brattiest state. She was described by some as a bit of a Malfoy!

"Miss Copperwing! Are we boring you?" The irritating voice of her teacher broke into her fantasy as he slammed a book on the desk at the front, making everyone jump. She felt the rest of the class eyeing her, hoping to see her taken down a peg or two. Ailith knew they didn't like her... they hated that she was better than them. She also knew she was the youngest in the group by at least ten years which was hugely resented, and she loved showing off in class.

Ignoring her classmates, she smirked at the stuffy Altmer at the front of the classroom. She released a heavy sigh before answering him. "Just a bit, Mr Spellock..." she drawled. As an added insult, she began to chew on a ragged fingernail.

She could almost taste the disapproval from her classmates as it rippled towards her. They tutted and shook their heads. She didn't care, they were dull morons and she enjoyed watching her teacher squirm. Despite beings an arrogant ass and always talking down to her, he wasn't even a master of anything, he hadn't earned the right to teach anyone.

"Well," he frowned for a second. He ran a hand through his golden hair before smirking, "I suppose, to perhaps save us some time, you wouldn't mind explaining to the class what the consequences of magika burnout are?" The class stared silently between the two mages.

"Burnout, hmm..." Ailith picked at an invisible thread on her robes, sounding bored. She gnawed on her lip and sighed more dramatically than necessary. "I guess that would be when you spread yourself out over too many fields causing rapid fatigue, hindered recovery and impaired casting. It could cost your life if you get too carried away or potentially weaken your abilities permanently... Oh! And we have to mention caster's flu, that's a nasty... nasty consequence there." She finished by sucking a breath through her teeth.

Ailith's mother had explained this to her when she discovered her daughter aged ten surrounded by spellbooks from all of the magic schools and practising novice level spells from each of them. Ailith's smirk widened into a grin as Mr Spellock shook his head and took a moment to compose himself. He was getting quite annoyed with her, but now it was the time to put the cherry on top. She stood up and stretched. Everyone blinked at her curiously.

My favourite chapter - Ohh. I don't know how to pick, there were so many fun chapters! I think I'll go for chapter 20 when Ailith gets a talking to from her beloved mentor for being her typically reckless self.

She jumped down and landed in the ash pile. It exploded upwards and Ailith coughed, flapping at the ash cloud.

“Ugh,” she groaned and gagged. It stank of burned troll hair, troll fat and general troll stench. She staggered away, brushing ash off her and followed the corridor into the first hall. Her boots echoed in the silent ruins as she retraced her steps. She soon spotted Master Bedail sitting on a broken pillar reading through the notes she had left with him earlier. He raised a hand warily as she approached.

He realised it was Ailith and smiled, “Hello my dear, how are you?”

“Good! I’m glad to see you here, I was worried.”

“Ah yes, I wasn’t able to get beyond this door. I suppose there was some rubble blocking it from the other side. I’ve been reading through your notes on the crystals… I believe they do have a purpose but I’m not sure what…”

“Oh! I know! I can show you, follow me!” Ailith grinned and turned to head back up to the entrance. She was so excited her walk quickly shifted into a jog.

“What did you find?” Master Bedail asked as he tried to keep up with Ailith who then sprinted towards the entrance.

“Look at these crystals, if we touch them we can see their original bindings!” She called out excitedly over her shoulder.

“How in the world did you discover that?”

“I touched it and felt the power! It was incredible! I read through an Ayleid lexicon before leaving so I picked up a few words, something about protecting the main chamber, intruders will die so on and so on.”

“And you wrapped your hand around this supposed weaponised light?!” His tone quickly lost its enthusiasm.

“Well, yes. It wasn’t activated by my presence, so I assumed it was safe, anyway, I undid the bindings on one and…”

“YOU WHAT?!” he spluttered.

Ailith froze. “I undid the bindings and used it to kill a troll…” she mumbled.

“For the love of Azura, girl!” He shook his head and Ailith felt an embarrassed flush travel up her cheeks. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it was?!”

Ailith opened her mouth to defend herself but Master Bedail continued, “That magic could have turned on you! It could have killed you or at the very least taken your arm! Do you want to lose part of yourself so easily?!”

“No, Master Bedail…” she bit her lip and blinked against the sting in her eyes. “I could feel the magic, it responded to me so I just… did it…”

He shook his head, “My dear, you must be so careful with your actions. These ruins are incredibly dangerous, their defences have endured for millennia. You may be skilled in magic, and I know you are a thorough researcher but…” he sighed heavily, “For your own safety, try not to be so impulsive with unfamiliar spells.”

Most challenging chapter - Like favourite chapter, I have so many to choose from. I think I shall settle for this snip from chapter 74, when Ailith is a guest at Blue River Prison (A Thalmor Prison mentioned in the Beyond Skyrim: Bruma mod which is one of my most favourit mods!!).

He released Ailith abruptly, pushing her back into the mud. Two guards came from behind her and wrapped her wrists in chains that were staked into the ground at different points, pinning Ailith there like a bear in a trap. She couldn’t move her arms and as she tried to steady her breathing, Rulindil crouched next to her. His beard tickled her neck as he whispered in her ear.

“You have permission to scream, Dartwing.”

Ailith looked behind him and watched some guards approach her with impeccably polished maces that shone menacingly in the rain. They came closer and closer as Rulindil stepped back. Ailith stared frantically between the crowd and the guards but there were no allies, only waves of faces wearing the same expressions of hunger and anger. She was so busy searching for someone who didn’t eye her with open hatred that she missed the swing of the first mace.

[daz4i]

laying out some details then offering my thoughts bc idk how to format this i should actually go to bed soon but anyway:

ratio claims to only wear his bust when he doesn't want to see idiots and other stuff/people that distract him from thinking

he wears it around members of the genius society

despite wanting to be a part of it, he seems to hold some disdain towards it and its members or at least the way they handle their knowledge (ofc, he seems to still be friends with some of them and holds respect towards them, so i assume it's more about the organization as a whole and only certain members?)

his definition of idiot is... broad. iirc he even refers to himself as one at one point

so my thoughts here are abt that^. his definition of idiot. i always go back to him respecting the trailblazer despite them being fairly stupid, to support my opinion that when he says "idiot" he doesn't necessarily mean low intelligence

imo it's more about the lack of wanting to learn. alternatively, thinking that you know more than everyone. hence why he views geniuses as idiots

the reason it's hard to explain ignorance to idiots, in that context, is because those people know that they know a lot. so how could they be ignorant? and! that's their true ignorance

ratio views knowledge as something that should be shared, and he works hard to do so. at the same time, he knows things like academia aren't for everyone. but he won't belittle those people - bringing up the trailblazer again, they're certainly not book smart, but they are curious. they're willing to take risks to learn more (after all, that's how he initially met them for the first time, doing just that). and that's what makes them worthy of his respect

he also keeps his bust off while with aventurine, even when he does call him an idiot, it was likely part of the act they put for sunday, or even just friendly poking (alternatively, insert the "sorry for calling you an idiot i was trying to flirt" post here). he calls aventurine a "c student" which! isn't high but it's still a passing grade! only 3% of ratio's students get to pass! bc he sees this thirst for knowledge in aventurine as well (and like given his lack of proper education, his achievements had to be self-made, which shows a determination of getting better too). and that's what makes him respectable in ratio's eyes

so. him calling himself an idiot that one time (that i unfortunately can't find rn but think i have saved somewhere and so might add it later). could be a self-aware take on his own arrogance and the feeling that he knows everything. or it could be a general "everyone is an idiot, because none of us can ever know everything, myself included". it sort of gives it another, sweeter meaning imo. almost optimistic

while stupidity is annoying, it's unavoidable. both when encountering others, and inside youself. and i'm sure he knows that. i think, at the end of the day, his goal is to eradicate it not by getting rid of stupid people, but by encouraging learning and seeking out information. which makes the only true stupid people those who refuse to do so. which, ironically, tends to be smart people

but anyway yeah these are my thoughts for you for now. i wanna write a whole ass analysis of him at some point but that day will likely not come soon 👍

[neopuff]

title: blades (chapter 1: sunk) (click for chapter 2) word count: ~3200 ship: six/holiday summary: Holiday gives Six a gift. ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47419594

“I told you to be more careful, Six. I wish…I’m just-! This could’ve been a lot worse, you know. You could’ve… … …are you even listening to me?”

He wasn’t, actually.

Six was a bit distracted from Dr. Holiday’s voice by the tiny shards of metal she was currently tugging out of his skin with a small set of tweezers. His neck, shoulders, upper arms, and chest were covered in little, bleeding holes created by tiny pieces of metal. But it was better than the alternative, which would’ve been getting crushed to death by a single, gigantic piece of metal.

She pulled out a particularly long piece that made him wince and Six could practically feel her worried gaze. He didn’t think it was necessary. Compared to many of the injuries in his life, this morning was not on the list of craziest or most painful or hardest to recover from. Without his shirt or jacket on, she could see for herself his endless list of scars that came from the work he did. And Holiday was becoming an expert on caring for violent personal injuries (since Six never wanted to go to Medical), so she could probably tell what kind of weapon caused them or how old the scars were.

It wasn’t his first time being partially naked in front of her and he had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. She’d had plenty of time to take in all the scars and despite her obvious curiosity, she hadn’t asked him about a single one. Six appreciated that, though he knew she was restraining herself. She was a scientist, after all, and wanted answers to every question.

He stared at the small metal bowl she was dropping each piece in. There were already at least twenty small shards and he knew there were at least a dozen more. Holiday was surprisingly patient about the whole situation, especially considering her initial, very angry reaction to seeing him come into her lab covered in blood. (Again.)

“It’s not just about you, Six,” she muttered quietly. There was a note of anger in her voice that caught Six’s attention. “Imagine how this feels for Rex.”

“I imagine it feels worse for me than it does for him.”

Holiday glared at him for what almost sounded like a joke, not appreciating the timing. “I’m being serious. Rex looks up to you and he really hurt you.”

“It’s not that bad.” He winced again as she pulled out another shard, this time from near his collarbone. Six was extremely lucky that the pieces were so small.

“I know it could’ve been worse, but you need to look out for yourself.” She sounded frustrated with herself almost as much as him, making Six wonder if she’d thought about saying this to him before. “You know that sword of yours can’t cut through his builds.”

He frowned, feeling an argument coming on. His katana was perfect and sometimes it could cut through Rex’s builds - just the softer part of the build near the kid’s arms or legs. In this particular case, Six had attempted to shield himself from one of Rex’s “smack hands” with a heavy slice of his blade, but instead of cutting through, the build reacted by falling apart in midair.

It had all happened within less than a second, and all Six could remember from the moment was Rex’s scream of fear. Holiday was wrong about one thing, Six was thinking about Rex. He didn’t want the kid to be responsible for his death - both because that would be humiliating and also because it would scar him for life. And that possibility came up much more often than he wished it did.

He sucked in a breath as Holiday pulled out the longest piece of shrapnel so far.

“How many more pieces are there?”

Holiday glanced up at him, annoyed that he ignored her comments but not surprised. She grabbed her tablet and poked the screen to bring it back to life, showing a clean x-ray of Six’s torso with little red X’s all over. She marked a few more spots and then took a second to count. “Four more. Five, if we count the deeply embedded piece of metal in your arm.”

“We don’t.”

“Alright.” Holiday knew it was an old injury from his old life and knew better than to ask about it. She wanted to know about what he used to do - she wanted to hear stories and explanations of each and every scar he had - but they���d only known each other a few months. He was a secretive guy. It’d take a lot more time before he opened up to her - if he ever did.

Six watched Holiday grab at the last few pieces and found himself staring at her face. He’d been doing that too often lately, especially when she was cleaning up an injury for him. Which was also happening too often. 

But he couldn’t help it. She had a very nice face. She was comforting to look at and when he was being repeatedly pricked by tiny pieces of metal, it was nice to have her there. (Even if she was doing the pricking.)

“I look out for myself as well as I can, Doctor,” Six said as she pulled out the final piece. “It’s not like I want to go through this every other day.”

“Hmm,” she hummed in response, clearly not believing him. “Don’t get up yet, you’re still bleeding.”

Six continued to sit, trying to be patient. But he wanted to go take a shower and get the dirt and blood off of himself. “As Rex improves, these problems will happen less often. The only solution is to train him more.”

Holiday scoffed and wiped at his chest and shoulders with a wet cloth. She knew he was right, but she didn’t want him to be. There had to be another solution…or at least something that could help. Six was getting hurt much too often and Rex was going to get even more anxious because of it. An even more anxious Rex led to even more mistakes, which led to even more injuries for Six.

She turned around and Six decided he was going to get dressed again. He’d started keeping a spare suit in Holiday’s lab for occasions just like this - she’d objected at first, but relented by the fourth time he’d walked in with a torn shirt.

He grabbed his spare shirt and jacket from the closet and quickly tugged them on. His skin was still stinging from the wounds - if he shared that fact with Holiday, he had no doubt she would send him off to one of the nurses. No, the stinging would stop eventually. And Six would be asleep by then.

“Thank you, Doctor,” he muttered as he tugged on the lapels. “I’ll try to be more careful next time.”

Holiday glared at him once more as he walked out the door, not bothering to respond. She had a lot of thoughts going through her head - particularly thoughts about how Six could protect himself better. He didn’t like change and he didn’t like anything to be disruptive to his usual fighting methods. But she was an engineer. She could make something for him! He’d never use any kind of shield, she was sure of that. A forcefield belt had potential to be useful, but it also had potential to get in the way.

She grabbed a notepad and pencil from her desk, tapping the pencil angrily. Maybe she’d need to talk to some other designers for ideas - she was already spread so thin it would be a bad idea to take on another project by herself.

“Hey Doc!”

Holiday glanced at the door where Six had just exited, seeing a nervous Rex pop his head in instead. “Rex. How are you feeling?”

He smiled awkwardly and walked further into the room, hands behind his back. “I’m okay. Is Six better now?”

“He’s fine,” she answered with a shrug. “You know Six. A few little scratches don’t bother him.”

Rex scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I know. I still feel really bad about it, though.”

Holiday stopped tapping her pencil against the notebook, frowning. She hated seeing Rex look so upset, like he knew he’d done something wrong and no one was telling him how to fix it. She had no doubt that Six yelled at him already, maybe White Knight, too. “Well…I heard you were working on a new build. How’s that going?”

“Oh yeah, my BFS!” Rex said happily. “It’s really cool, do you wanna see?”

“BFS…” Holiday muttered, trying to figure out what that could possibly stand for. “Just be careful, alright? Don’t knock anything over.”

He nodded and took a deep breath, gathering his focus. Then suddenly his right hand transformed into a gigantic orange sword. It was taller and wider than the rest of Rex’s body and it looked very, very heavy.

Holiday’s heart stopped beating for a moment and she glanced down at her blank notepad. Oh boy.

“Isn’t it cool, Doc?” Rex shouted over the sound of him deactivating the sword. “Six seems to really like it, but I think that’s just ‘cause he likes swords so much.”

“It’s…very cool.” She didn’t really know how to react to it. Rex making more builds was good, it showed that he was getting better at controlling his powers. But that thing was scary-looking in a small space. 

Though…He was right. Six did like swords a lot. Maybe that was a better angle for her to look into.

She stared at Rex, hand to her chin in thought, and he stared back at her like she had two heads.

“Dr. Holiday?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Rex touched his face anxiously. “Is there something on me?”

“No, you’re fine.” Holiday wrote something down and put the notepad to the side. “Can you build your, uh, Smack Hands for me? I’d like to do some quick tests.”

x

“Six? Are you there?”

He sat up instantly at the sound of Holiday’s voice, barely awake enough to register where it was coming from. He took a second to open his eyes and collect his bearings before getting up and pressing his hand against the intercom on his wall.

“I’m here. What’s going on?”

“Can you come to my lab? I’d, um…like to show you something.”

Six raised a curious eyebrow. What?

“I need your input on a design.”

“...you do?” He was very confused. Was he actually awake? Assuming she was talking about something mechanical, she couldn’t possibly think he had any helpful insights. He was not an engineer by any means.

“Yes. Just come down here.”

With that, she was gone, and Six stood there to stew in his thoughts. He walked to his closet and grabbed another shirt, annoyed that it was his third one of the day. What could Holiday possibly want his input on? The only thing that would make sense was a weapon. In the few times he’d seen her in the Petting Zoo, Holiday exclusively favored guns. If she was trying to find something new for herself, he’d support that. But she worked well with guns so he didn’t see the need.

He brushed his teeth and checked himself in the mirror before heading to her lab, still wondering what this could possibly be about. There was always the possibility she was trying to create some sort of shielding device for him, which he would reject immediately. Those things were clunky and got in the way of his work. He needed to be stealthy and smooth and fast at all times.

Six entered Holiday’s lab quietly, greeted by the image of her at her desk writing something down very aggressively. Or passionately. She was very invested in whatever it was, and he assumed it was what she called him in for.

“Holiday.”

She looked up, surprised. Six didn’t like how easily he could sneak up on her. If he could do it, so could an enemy. Maybe he’d have to give her some training as well.

“Hi!” she squeaked out uncharacteristically. She stood and held up a hand like she was about to speak, then suddenly turned towards the desk to write something else down. “Okay. Alright. Six, I need you to keep an open mind about this.”

He walked closer to her cautiously, a little worried he was about to upset her. “What is it?”

“It’s…” Holiday flattened out the paper she was working on, which had a stapler and a tape dispenser on the upper corners to hold it down. “It’s this! I don’t know. Just take a look and tell me what you think.”

Six frowned and leaned forward, trying not to get too much in the doctor’s personal space. He was taking a look, just like she requested, and he was a bit confused. It was weapon schematics, something he’d considered on his way to the lab, but they were swords. A pair of swords with some very interesting features - mostly the fact that when attached at the hilt, they’d emit a magnetic pulse.

His first thought was that they looked very, very cool. But he wasn’t a teenager, so that wasn’t going to be the first thing out of his mouth.

“I’ve been using my katana for over twenty years, Doctor.”

She pouted, not looking at him directly. “I know, I know. It’s just…Rex showed me some of his builds earlier and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe two swords at once is weird, I’m not an expert on this kind of thing. But I thought-”

“Can you guarantee that they’ll work on Rex’s builds?”

Holiday turned to look at Six, not realizing how close his face was to her own. But she didn’t want to back down on this concept and she needed to stand tall, whether he interrupted her or not. “Yes. I know what I’m doing, I promise.”

Six glanced between her face (closer to his than it should’ve been, but he was going to ignore that) and the schematics. He didn’t feel comfortable expressing excitement, but he couldn’t pretend he didn’t want to use those swords immediately. Instead, he just stared at the paper again, taking in every inch of the design.

“It’s alright if you don’t -”

“Make them,” he said finally, looking back up at her. “Do it.”

“Really?” Holiday’s face lit up in the brightest smile. “Are you sure? You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” Six smiled slightly, hands still in his pockets as he stood in front of her. “Can you add the option to form them together into a staff? Could be very useful.”

“Yes, absolutely! Thank God,” Holiday breathed out and suddenly she was leaning into him, her forehead against his sternum and hands laying on his shoulder blades. She stayed like that for barely a second before pulling her head back and patting his chest with flat palms. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just excited about this.”

“It’s fine.” Six tried not to focus too much on the feeling of her hands on his chest. He tried not to focus too much on how radiant she looked at that moment or how nice she smelled. And he was really, really trying not to focus on the unmistakable flutter of his heart when she said she was excited. Entirely from scratch, from her brilliant, beautiful brain, she designed him a new set of weapons that looked useful and valuable and interesting and no one had ever done anything like that for him before. Of course, he’d never been so close to a scientist before, but he didn’t think this was normal. Holiday was special.

She was kind and intelligent and perceptive and the way her nose crinkled when she smiled up at him was obscenely cute and he was realizing in that very moment that he was sunk. Six had been avoiding thinking about Holiday in that…way, knowing full well he was attracted to her but not wanting to deal with anything beyond that. At that moment, however, he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore. The unshakable urge to kiss her - stronger than he’d ever had the urge before in his entire goddamn life - was not going away anytime soon. He was absolutely and completely falling for her and there was no going back from it now.

He felt the little flutter in his chest again. That needed to stop. “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” he said in his usual monotone, not even realizing he’d spoken out loud.

Holiday looked surprised at him and nervously tugged some hair behind her ear. “Well…it’s not just for you. It’ll be helpful for Rex, too. But…you’re welcome.”

Six’s heart was thumping loudly in his chest. He really wanted to kiss her. He would not be doing that.

“Plus it’ll be nice to have less of your blood on my floor,” she added with a smirk and a wink.

He raised an eyebrow at that comment, returning her smirk with one of his own. “So this is all a ruse to get me to spend less time in your lab?”

She blushed, completely taken off-guard by that question. “Wh- no, obviously I-I mean. Six. You know what I meant.” Holiday glared up at him, fingers combing through her bangs.

Yes, he did know what she meant. But he saw an opportunity to make her blush and took it. Which he would probably be annoyed at himself for later. For the moment, he was going to enjoy it. “How long until they’ll be ready?”

“Um…it’ll be a while,” she answered with a sudden lack of confidence. “Design, build, testing, more testing. Redesign, rebuild, more testing. Plus my actual work takes up a lot of time. Don’t hold your breath that they’re coming anytime soon, alright?”

He nodded. “I can wait.”

Holiday smiled at him and gave him a tiny little shove towards the door. “I’ve got a free evening so the faster you leave, the faster I can start on this.”

A small part of Six was struck by guilt - he hadn’t even realized this would be a project to work on in her free time. The very, very little free time she had, she’d be spending on a gift for him. He’d never know what he did in life to deserve someone like her.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

She put a hand on her hip. “If you really want to thank me, you can go get me some coffee.”

Six nodded at that, quickly leaving the room to do as she asked. It was the least he could do, considering what she was doing for him. The amount of time she was giving up for him. Especially after he’d watched White Knight rip into her just a few days earlier and didn’t say a thing about it.

Maybe he’d just steal the first coffee machine he saw and bring it to her lab. That’d be a good start.

[ozimagines]

Do you have any thoughts on what dating Dr Gloria Nathan would be like? Also I love this blog and hope that you are feeling better soon.

Awwww you’re too sweet! Honestly made this page just because I ran out of fanfiction to read so I was like I’ll just keep my fics here. Now I’ve got some regulars who seem to enjoy my work, plus a community of people as stoked on this show as I am. And thank you! Had PT today, which was ROUGH but now I get to write this! 🥹😁

Dating Dr. Gloria Nathan would include…

Oh she’s had bad fucking luck when it’s come to love.

She’s ready. Ready to love with everything she has and then… the rug gets pulled out from under her. Who knows. Maybe it’s just not her thing.

She’s lost a little bit of that bedside mojo working in Oz. So when she’s asked as extra hands at the local hospital, she’s told she’s a little stand offish with the patients.

“Breath in. Breath out. Breath in.”

“Shake it all about?”

Her eyes flit up to see you on the bed, smile on your face.

“Oh, you’re joking sorry. I, uh, don’t get out much.”

“I can see that. Good for my health. Bad for yours.”

She chuckled again. You were funny.

“I knew you were gonna be a good doctor.”

“How so?”

“You were 30 minutes late. I’m not being a dick. My mom always told me be wary of a doctor that’s on time. It means they care about the schedule more than the patients. If someone needs extra care, they get it. I can tell, you’re a good doctor.”

She checked how many painkillers you were on, but found nothing.

“Is this a make a wish clinic? Do I get to make a request?”

“You’re not dying, but sure.”

“One night out with the beautiful but terrifyingly serious doctor? For a dying person’s sake?”

“Again; fractured wrist. Not dying.”

She’s giggling like a school girl by the time she leaves your room. She wonders if it wouldn’t have been a complete breach of protocol to leave her number with you, but shakes it off. She’s a professional.

When you leave the hospital, you wait by her desk.

“Mr/Mrs/Mx L/N-“

“Can you at least let me bring you coffee tomorrow? Or lunch on your break? Just to say thank you.”

“It’s not just a thank you, is it?”

“Nope.” 😇

She doesn’t really expect to see you the next day, but you’re holding eight coffees.

“What happened?”

“I realized I didn’t know how you take your coffee. So I prepared seven alternatives to the black coffee I got you. All the milks and sugars.”

Sister Pete is watching from her desk and can’t help but giggle. Gloria is taken a little off guard.

Somewhere Tim is being mopey because someone else likes Gloria.

“Thank you, you really didn’t have to go through the trouble.”

You smile good-naturedly.

“Not a trouble.”

She smiled at you and tells you she has to go take care of a patient.

“One of those many cups has my number on it. Maybe give me a call?”

She agrees and then continues to work. Her and Sister Pete have lunch together.

“Saw Starbucks came to visit you at work today.”

Dr. Nathan explained the situation.

“He/she/they’re really sweet but… I don’t know. Think I’m a little too uptight for dating right now.”

“I don’t know. Starbucks seems sweet.”

Sister Pete learns your name later but all she calls you is Starbucks.

You text for a little while, her always blowing you off because she’s busy, but she appreciates the good morning texts all the same.

She gets all red faced and bashful whenever she’s complimented.

She’s grown a thick skin in Oz that’s hard to undo.

You show up at the hospital, but she’s back in Oz for the day Sister Pete tells you. You look dejected and just say “oh. Thank you.”

“Why don’t you step back into my office. We can talk if you’d like?”

“I promise I’m not some stalker. We talked and she seemed really nice. I figured if she didn’t have the time I could make it for us. I don’t know. I think I’m just annoying her. I’m gonna stop now.”

Sister Pete listens to you non-judgmentally.

“Tell you what, if you don’t receive a text by tonight telling you that she’s interested, I think you should stop… just let me talk to her first. Figure out what’s going on.”

“You would do that?”

“For you. For her. For a little romance.”💝

You’re about to leave the room when Sister Pete says; “shd likes French toast, fluffy cats, and the beach.”

Sister Pete makes good on her word to talk to Gloria.

“I talked to Starbucks today.”

“He/she/they were here?”

“Yup. Asking about you. Wondering if they should stop pursuing you before they annoy you.”

Gloria thinks for a second. She feels badly for you, really. She does like you; the kind eyes and the jovial personality.

“Why are you dragging your feet? I can tell you care about him/her/them.”

“Since my husband-“

“And Tim and O’Reily. I know, Gloria. You’ve had terrible luck. But it’s never going to get better if you don’t take some chances.”

She thinks about what Sister says all day. All night. You get a text at two in the morning.

Hi, Mr/MrsMx L/N. I’m sorry I’ve been so aloof. I’d like to have dinner with you tomorrow if it’s not too much of a trouble.

You respond with this:

She didn’t stop laughing for twenty minutes.

You to to the diner Tim took her to.

She always gets French toast. Has a love for it but hates cooking. She gets powdered sugar and blackberries on top.

You rapid fire questions to get to know her. Her small talk is crap.

She likes berry flavored anything. Gets way too into watching Judge Vonda B. She also loves swimming.

You ask what her favorite flavor of milkshake is. She thinks for a second.

“Orange dreamsicle.”

You surprise her with one on her shift the next day.

She finds she really enjoys being at around you. You seem to genuinely care about her.

It takes her a while to talk about herself without prompting. She’s just generally very closed off.

When you guys do go out, she prefers smaller things.

Wine tastings, cafes, book stores.

She prefers just spending time around you, not necessarily the whole city.

You find out she likes having sweet snacks while she works. Sister Pete lets you into her office one day in secret.

When she comes in the next day, her desk if filled with treats.

Pulparindos, pelon pelo rico, and revocladitas (watermelon, her favorite)

The Latinos are jealous lol

Murphy and Tim tease her a little for being so smitten.

When you come to pick her up from work one day, you meet them, Tim being a little bitter about losing Gloria.

“Wow, Gloria, it’s like they’re your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.” -Tim teases.

Gloria looks at him, and then at you, and smiles:

“Yeah, I guess he/she/they are.”🥰

You love seeing her work; she’s so passionate.

You deal with a few O’Reily jabs here and there

After a while, Gloria is able to talk about what happened to her. With Keenan.

You hold her as she cries and tell her she’s safe.

She really does feel safe with you.

Everyone at work notices her smiling more, that broken look in her eyes is gone. 😄

You learn she’s not bad at cooking, but she hates it, so you cook often.

She likes to watch you cook as she does her work at home.

She’s stupid for the Harry Potter series. Remembers reading them as she was getting her doctorate.

(Not so much after Joann’s newest rants but that wasn’t really known in the early 2000s.)

She likes to marathon the movies.

You find her novelty food like the Bertie Bots every flavored Beans, chocolate frog, popping chocolates.

She enjoys them all, especially when you dress up in your house robes for her.

She’s a Ravenclaw. All the way.

She likes gardening. Keeping a small tomato and cucumber garden. She grows MASSIVE cucumbers.

“Hey, we need to talk, Y/N.”

You get nervous.

“I just… I mean, I’ve said these words so many times I didn’t think I could still mean them. I love you, Y/N.”

You actually do dance in front of her this time. 😁

She’s a very good domestic partner. Always helps around the house no matter how tired she is.

You get married, because you decide together to get married.

She still plans a proposal.

Something small and personal.

She takes you to a secluded spot in the city. A rooftop of her old building, in her old neighborhood.

You watch the sky together, counting the birds and planes overhead.

“My life is better with you. I hope yours is better with me.”

The ring is simple. Just a band and a stone, but the stone is bright yellow like the sun. It’s a gorgeous ring.

The wedding is with all of the Oz crew. Sister Pete and Mukada congratulating you. Murphy making Tim not act like a mopey asshole the whole time. Howell is raiding the bar.

You adopt a cat together afterward. A beautiful rag doll cat that becomes your baby (even though you adopted older because Gloria said it wasn’t too late for anyone to find love)

Her/his name is Maria/Peter.

(For obvious reasons lol)

She speaks in Spanish to her little baby doll.

“Thank you, Y/N, for everything.”

“Te amo.”

“Te amo, Y/N.”😘

Bonus: You get Christmas sweaters to match every year. Usually with one half of a joke on one, and the other half on the other. No one can deny you’re a cute couple. ☺️

[23raccoons]

let me bleed (you're losing me) Ao3

Fandom: Naruto (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino Characters: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru, Hatake Kakashi, Yamanaka Ino, Sai (Naruto), Karin (Naruto), Uchiha Madara Additional Tags: Dubious Consent, Blood and Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Dark Uchiha Sasuke, Dark Nara Shikamaru, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Self-Harm, Akatsuki (Naruto), War, Konoha 11 (Naruto), Everyone is Problematic ok?, Heavy Angst, Domestic Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fourth Shinobi War (Naruto), Memory Loss, PTSD, Manipulation, Bullying, Suicidal Thoughts, Degradation, Dacryphilia

Chapter 14 (chapter list)

Sasuke’s intent as he’s sliding the door closed behind him is to run, to flee. Regroup and re-strategize. But once he finds himself out of the house, away from the harsh sting of Sakura’s fear of him, he doesn’t really want to leave. He means to stay just a moment, a minute or two, and find himself remaining for much longer, sitting outside on the engawa as Sakura tucks herself into bed. 

On their genin team, he had always thought her to be weak. Sensitive in a sense. Rather…discerning of her own abilities or skills. She won’t complain about any task she undertakes or ask for help when she needs it. Just sucking it up. 

Sasuke finds himself annoyed with Sakura at every turn. Snapping at her for doing dumb shit. Gathering firewood while favoring one foot in the way she does when she has blisters forming on the back of her ankle. And then she’ll cry when she has to clean and antiseptic it later. Letting Naruto be too inappropriate with her. Trying to fight enemy ninjas well beyond her skill set, liable to get hurt in the process. Getting hurt for him. Risking herself for him. 

Crying over him. Loving him. Sasuke’s father always looked down on such things as weaknesses, foolish thoughts best left unentertained. But Sasuke sees it as less of a flaw or shortcoming in Sakura—not a strength by any means. Her affections for him are a curiosity, a novelty. Something new and shiny and entirely his to play with. A constant, consistent force in his life, drawing him to her. Calming. Grounding. 

Throwing herself between Sasuke and Naruto, getting in the way of their fighting. Which also ends up in tears, this time because of Kakashi. It’s not the only thing she gets in trouble for, as more than once she’s gotten reprimanded as a repercussion for Naruto’s bad behaviors. No one’s ever taught Naruto manners, although she usually brushes off most of his transgressions with ease. 

One of his least favorable memories of her—in his own mind—is so much different through her eyes. 

Naruto had been pestering her all day, to the point that even she reaches the number of times that he steps too far into her personal space, how she has to inform him—point blank—that he’s reached the point of annoying because any attempts at telling him politely are lost on Naruto. How Naruto had pretended to be Sasuke in an effort to kiss Sakura. (Sakura would do anything for Sasuke.) When she realizes it—that she’s been tricked—as the real Sasuke shows up, looking for Naruto himself. 

Sasuke remembers her being bratty in the moment. A bitch, even. But in her mind, she’s justifying Naruto’s behaviors, making excuses for his actions, pushing down uncomfortable, hurt feelings. Trying to convince herself that Naruto’s problem is not that he would actually go as far as to impersonate Sasuke to make a move on her, but that he just doesn’t know any better to see why thats an annoying—fucked up Sasuke’s words—thing to do. Reasoning as to why she shouldn’t even tattle on him for it, not wanting to see him get in trouble over it. The risk of Naruto losing his ninja status nearly as soon as he’s gained it for misuse of jutsu on a teammate. She had told absolutely no one about it. Not a mention to Sasuke or Kakashi or her parents. She doesn’t even seem to have ever brought it up to Naruto himself. 

She rambles near thoughtlessly out loud to Sasuke, words that come out harsher than she means. They aren’t untruthful, but both her tone and word selections come across critically. Like she is blaming Naruto himself for being an orphan, and not that she’s telling herself Naruto’s not at fault for his upbringing. Someone should have taught him better, but no one ever has. And Sasuke snaps at her for it. Tells her she’s annoying. 

Sakura excuses nearly all of Naruto’s behaviors. Often spending whole days bottling up her feelings at his overt attention before she snaps to tell him that he’s reached the breaking point of her patience. The only thing Naruto ever does that truly seems to warrant her immediate annoyance of him is all his ‘pervy jutsus’. As they are flashy and public and problematic. They also give Sakura much the same feeling Sasuke gets when Naruto does something better than him. Not jealousy, but insecurity.

And Sakura, as Sasuke digs through her most intimate memories still, somehow manages to annoy him, even in his sanctuary in her mind. She just feels things so vicariously. Her own emotions complex and raw. things Sasuke couldn’t even imagine feeling. Empathic and tenderhearted. Aware of not only her own but those of everyone around her. 

Time and time again, Sasuke finds himself seeking Sakura out to help quell the darkness trying to burn through him. Her presence steadies him. Finding dealing with Sakura’s problems easier than the ones in his head. The anxiety that he will not be strong enough to defeat Itachi warps. Hatred shifting to allow room for an obsessiveness over Sakura to grow. Then, once he gains the curse mark, it starts amplifying the worst of his thoughts to extreme proportions. Fighting the urge to take her, to lock her up in a little cell, where no one can have her but him. All his. 

This Sakura, the one laying just meters away from him, is not that Sakura. She’s truly weak now. Feeble. Fragile. Delicate. Frightened of him. And if she’s already terrified to be in his presence here, somewhere she seems to be moderately comfortable, having long since fallen asleep with him still so near. How scared would she be if she were to be chained up and locked in a prison cell or left under Kabuto’s cruel and unusual medical supervision? The thought alone makes his stomach turn. 

Sasuke stays and stays and stays. Minutes slip by as he tries to come up with any sort of reasonable solution as to what to do from here. He’s spent so long trying to find her. Months of taking out anyone in his path during his search. Tracking down those who had helped Kakashi betrayal of her. 

Kakashi is strong, a fighter on a different plane of existence. Few can go up against him. Sasuke. Madara. Tobi. Deidara is always more than willing to go on missions where Kakashi is the target, payback for some past slight against him. The more people Kabuto brings back from the dead, the longer the list of members of the Kakashi hate club grows, as it seems you can’t throw a rock without hitting at least three someones Kakashi’s slighted in Madara’s Konoha. The longer the war drags on, more and more people in Konoha have plenty of reasons to hurt, to harm Sakura out as an act of revenge. 

He stays, sitting out on the engawa, all the way until Shikamaru shows up. He doesn’t even seem too surprised to see Sasuke, staying calm, neutral as he steps up onto the deck, sliding open the door wide enough to check that Sakura is still alive and breathing. The whoosh of cold air must rouse her, as Sakura calls out a soft, “Maru?”

“Go back to sleep, love. I’ll be in soon,” he tells her. Closing the door back up to sit in front of it, head leaned back, resting against the frame. Sasuke pushes down the feeling that’s gnawing at him at how Sakura had so easily called out to Shikamaru. How easily he has managed to settle her with just a few words. 

Sasuke looks out at the tree line as he waits for whatever little speech Shikamaru likely has prepared for his discovery of Sakura. Instead, Shikamaru makes a strange sound, and then another, and it takes Sasuke turning to look at the other man to realize he’s crying. Head in his hands between his knees. Tears hit the wood below him as his body shakes. Sasuke could gag. How weak. 

The silence spans between them. Snowfall muffling the sounds of the woods. The forest bunkered down for the winter. 

“She is sick.” Sasuke finally states. A fact, as indifferently as he can. If Shikamaru is so emotionally attached to Sakura, Sasuke could use it to exploit him. 

“No,” Shikamaru says, drying his face with his sleeve. “She is broken. She might be dying, and I can’t do anything about it. Anything to stop it. Nothing I do helps.”

“Broken?” 

“She left on a mission, it was hardly supposed to be dangerous, to deliver a message to Naruto, before the war. And then the next thing I knew, Kakashi’s carrying her into the Hokage’s tent, declaring you a traitor. Putting the cuffs on her and leaving her here to rot. Letting everyone think she died as a way to justify his hunt for you.” Sasuke knows this is not entirely the truth—that Shikamaru’s glossing over his own complicity in the events. But that is a curious train of thought. 

“Kakashi’s always been too hard on her. Too quick to find fault with what she cannot control.” Sasuke rolls his eyes. “He used to make her cry all the time.”

Shikamaru snorts. “He’s a fucking dick to her, that’s for sure.”

The silence falls again. Sasuke hadn’t quite been expecting Shikamaru to be so openly insulting toward Kakashi. Under the impression they had been working towards this together complicatedly. 

“What will you do now that you’ve found her?” When Sasuke glances at him, his eyes are closed, pressing the tips of his fingers together. Thinking. 

When Sasuke had left Konoha, Sakura had begged him to stay. Had begged him to take her with him. denying her.  No. No. No. He couldn’t take her then, not with the unpredictable nature of Orochimaru’s experiments. These days he spends more time wiping out enemies' cells attempting to encroach on the Akatsuki as they search for the last two jinchurikis. Spilling blood of all those that support the Five Nations armies. 

He couldn’t take her then, too weak to protect her. And he can’t take her now, too powerful, too needed on the war front to care for her. He could pull team Taka to guard her, but even that makes him nervous. They are not tied to her, not dedicated to her. 

Sasuke can’t tell Madara he’s found her. Not even imagining the reaction to finding the one and only Haruno Sakura—who’s false death had been spread as the justification for Kakashi’s call for war against both Sasuke and the Akatsuki. 

Sasuke didn’t ever bother correcting the rumor, knowing Kakashi had stashed her away somewhere. Hidden. Still connected through the jutsu. Finding her impossible, even Karin’s tracking skills unhelpful. If everyone thinks she’s dead, no one will be looking for her. (Only a handful of those who know the truth remain alive. Sasuke sees to that every chance he gets. His revenge, on those who’ve hurt Sakura.)

Shikamaru falls on that list. Fairly close to the top. But he’s also keeping her here. Out of the way of the war. Practically in Sasuke’s lap, without the strain of her care being Sasuke’s burden. Sasuke had barely found her—his intentions had been more to scoop out Shikamaru’s house. Accidental at best. All his previous searches had turned up nothing. Weeks and weeks of scouring the forests as he comes and goes from missions. The likelihood she’s been here the entire duration of the war high. And if Sasuke himself could not track her down here, no one else would be able to either. 

“So long as she is broken, you’ll tend to her here. Allow her to heal.” Sasuke states. 

Shikamaru drags his hands down his face, fingers pulling on the skin, distorting his skin like a zombie from an old horror movie. Mumbling, “Thank fuck.”

“You will tell no one. Not even Kakashi.”

“Fuck Kakashi.” 

“Act like this has never happened. Prevent Madara from becoming suspicious.”

“Like what has happened?” Shikamaru asks rhetorically. Sasuke takes a moment to sneer at the other man's smart ass sarcastic attitude. 

They sit in respective silence, well into the night. Shikamaru not wanting to give up his defensive position against the door. Sasuke not wanting to leave now that he’s so close to having her. Soon. He’s so close. Capturing the last two jinchuriki, the death of Kakashi, the end of the war. And then Sakura will be his. 

Like a test to Sasuke’s patience, the war drags on and on and on. Months slip by and seasons change, the earth unthawing as spring emerges. Sasuke finds himself once again waiting outside for Shikamru to return, having tucked Sakura back into her bed, uncaring if the mud on her feet or the scrapes and scratches slowly oozing blood stain the sheets. 

He had been tracking one of those stupid chakra foxes. Watching as it lures Sakura from the safety of her home out into the depths of the forest. He hovers nearby as she walks. Walks and walks and walks. Naruto’s string of the web hums weakly, the memories it’s searching for twinkling faintly in the genjutsu. Hardly anything is running at the moment—dim, long pauses between pulses. She stumbles, falls, skinning her knees as she lands. It speaks to her, Sasuke’s not seen one have the ability to do that before, stabbing his sword through it before it tries to attack her. 

He must be getting closer to his goal, she knows him. Not from the memories he keeps in her mind, but the way she so easily falls asleep nestled in his arms as he carries her home. She calls him handsome. So, so close to being his. He hovers his face over hers. He’s had his mouth on her body before, but not really ever kissed her. Never on the lips. And certainly never in the way he’s tempted to, now that he’s tucked her safely back into bed. Pressing one as carefully as he can on the safe zone of her forehead.

Shikamaru is quick to return this time. Hastier to the door to check on Sakura, who’s tired enough to remain sleeping as he closes it. He lays in front of the door now, head resting on his arm. Eyes closed.

“She was in the middle of the woods.” Sasuke informs him. 

“I think she’s getting worse,” Shikamaru responds. He sounds tired. “I’ve been working on getting the cuffs off, but I will not be able to do it alone.”

“How bad has it become?” Sasuke finds himself almost numb. 

“Come tomorrow, during the day. See it for yourself.” Shikamaru offers. Sasuke nods. He cannot stay this time. He’ll be expected back to report in on the chakra fox he’d been tracking. 

Sasuke returns the next day to be able to survey the damage to see how Sakura reacts inside her mind to the external factors. It’s a poor showing, mild hope through the first few pictures. And then, as soon as she doesn’t recognize some, it’s clear the damage to her memory is more severe than he believed. Nearly all of his—and unfortunately Naruto's—memories are intact, as well as anything he had kept ahold of in his first initial sweep of her mind. The genjutsu protects them from damage. But a lot inside has not fared as well. Many of the strands that pull her memories to the surface are snapped or splintered. Leaving whatever she’s trying to recall twinkling in the distance. 

Sasuke doesn’t let up on any of the ones of him or Naruto. Watching as Sakura makes the connection between him and the younger him in the picture. Feeling how numb she goes, excusing herself. H stays in place as Shikamaru races after her. Pulling out of the genjutsu to avoid the shattering wave of grief that washes over her. 

But he cannot avoid the way she is physically wailing just on the other side of the wall. How Shikamaru is consoling her, tending to her. Tucking her into bed. He returns to invite Sasuke outside to sit across from each other at the Shogi board, so Shikamaru can chainsmoke as they discuss their plans. Sasuke is still playing it as patiently as he can. Waiting and waiting. 

“Madara has taken a sort of liking to her at least, should we need actual medical help,” Shikamaru shrugs. Moving a piece.

“She’s met Madara?” Sasuke narrows his eyes at the other man. It’s not uncommon at all to run into someone long since dead, with Kabuto’s clone army growing by the day. But finding Sakura alive would be much harder to justify. 

“Ehhh, Madara keeps coming by,” Shikamaru admits. Watching as Sasuke takes his turn. “But looking for me, not for her. He doesn’t know who she is.”

"Try your best to keep him away then,” Sasuke suggests. He’ll have to be more careful also. As to not be caught out here by Madara himself. 

“He’ll be here only until he finds the missing jinchuriki. Then he will move back to the Ame base. More central to the war.” Shikamaru states, making his next move on the board. The Suna front has been more than problematic, hard to keep any land gained in battle. While Konoha is more central to the continent, quicker travel to the front encroaching on the Land of Lightning. 

“And Sakura?” Sasuke moves another piece. If Shikamaru’s going to be such a damn know-it-all. 

“Madara will not concern himself with an injured girl, much less one that can barely manage to get around the house. He will move for a better advantage in the war and leave Konoha to you, Sasuke.” Shikamaru explains with a shrug. 

“Do you really think that's his plan?” Sasuke questions.

“It will be. Or we will make it be.” Shikamaru smirks. The conversation falls as Sakura rouses, shuffling across the bedroom and out onto the porch. Complaining of a headache. She looks weak. Tired and sluggish. Sasuke dips into her mind, a dust storm brewing off in the distance, small little lightning strikes. She wobbles over to Shikamaru, accidentally placing her hand on Sasuke’s shoulder as she moves by. 

A very, very small chidori pops between them. A shock sharp enough to sting. Enough to get the cat hissing again. He’s a bit spooked that he’s accidentally used a jutsu until she moves on, curling up next to Shikamaru. Like it's totally normal. 

“Does that happen often?” Sasuke questions wearily. Nervously. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.” Sasuke suspects Shikamaru is talking about the head ache, and not the shock that popped between them, but when he checks in on the genjutsu again, the storm is gone. Sakura falls asleep almost immediately, right there on the hardwood decking, using Shikamru’s knee as a pillow. 

Sasuke spends several days 'researching’ lightning release jutsus in the archives of ROOT. Looking for anything that could explain why Sakura is so electrically charged. Ignoring the way Kabuto is lurking about. He finds an old scroll on sealing techniques, fragile and dusty, slipping it out of sight when Kabuto is not looking. Lightning chakra is difficult to manage. It takes both skill and practice to use because it is unweildablely dangerous without proper training. Once the chakra is drawn, it must go somewhere. You can’t just unsummon it. 

He’s also digging through what of Sakura's memories he has available to him. Finding one of Sasuke and Naruto running for each other. The whole memory is tunnel visioned on the two, and Sakura’s aiming herself to land right between the two as they hit. Panic, as the only thing he feels is the way her heart is hammering in her chest as she runs. The memory fades off the way they do if the rest of it is stored somewhere else in her brain, likely connected to Kakashi, getting onto her for trying to interject herself. But Sasuke remembers the outcome itself. The destruction of both his and Naruto’s techniques and one very, very angry Kakashi.

He stops by to drop off papers that could be of interest to Shikamaru, hanging about with Sakura any chance he gets. She’s still nervous around him but less afraid every time he sees her. The little chidoris continue to pop when he touches her, and the stronger the touch, the stronger the sting.

Once a chidori is formed, the energy has to go somewhere, or the user risks frying themselves. It takes technical skill and training to be able to hold on to one long enough for it to fizzle out into nothingness. Except for one—that day on the bridge. Sasuke recalls the chidori had run out well before its time. But there is no other significant damage. Not to him, not to Karin, not to Sakura. If the chidori was not released, where did it go?

Dropping into the genjutsu, he finds the memory he likes to relive the least. That day on the bridge. He can hardly stomach it. How badly Sakura is hurt. How he can feel it now as he relives it in her mind. Small pieces of gravel that dig into her exposed skin. Karin’s nails digging into her arm. Sasuke’s manhandling. Healing. Healing. Healing. Feeling the way she circulates her own chakra to pull the charge away from him and Karin. White hot as it runs through her. And then it is gone. Poof. Sizzling out in his hand.

Chapter 15