#He will take you to his secret stash of cows now…

[kawaiialeisha]

I must ask Wally this question!! Does he love to hug cows?? If so we need to see him in a cow onesie please and thank you I love you WALLYITO LINDO!!! 🫂🫂🫂

He’s glad he can finally reveal his huge love for cows!! (And his secret cow onesie he’s been hiding!)

Prepare for lots of cow hugging with Wally! 🐮

[isfjmel-phleg]

The recent Lost Children comic (which I enjoyed!) dealt with the fates of a lot of unaccounted-for child sidekicks. Secret is back! The Newsboy Legion is back! Etc.!

But I recently encountered one such character who should have been among that group. What happened to Joshua Terrill, aka Spitfire? He's Ray Terrill's half-brother, thirty years his senior...but he's also only eight. And he completely disappeared in 1996 shortly after being introduced.

Story time!

Joshua was born in 1946 to Langford "Happy" Terrill (the original Ray) and his first wife, Gayle. He inherited his father's light/energy-based powers but with greater intensity and became the Ray's sidekick for a while, using the codename Spitfire.

(The Ray 1994 #18)

He had a lot of power at a very young age and didn't know how to control it. In times of heightened emotion it was quite dangerous. The powers also seem to have affected his aging (perhaps similar to how his father's aging has been slowed/stopped), and he started to mentally regress. By the time he was eight, he had the mentality of a four-year-old.

And then one day he got upset when his father didn't return from a mission in time for his birthday, and he accidentally destroyed the house...and his mother.

Happy's solution to this was to drug Joshua's food, stash him away in a cryogenic chamber buried in the middle of nowhere, and pretend this kid never existed.

Forty-one years later, some guys fool around with the site of the buried chamber, and Joshua, not a day older than in 1954, is on the loose.

We find out that he's got enough control of his powers to use them to convert a truckload of corn into popcorn.

(The Ray 1994 #18)

But he's scared and confused and desperate to find his dad, and unfortunately this results in lashing out with his powers at almost anyone who comes near him, regardless of intention.

Quite possibly ends up killing a few people here.

Not that he seems to realize that. He's still a small child who talks to cows.

(The Ray 1994 #19)

At one point, he thinks he's found his dad, but false alarm, it's the villain who's been impersonating Happy for a while (long story).

Soon it's Christmas. This child is still on his own and without shelter in Colorado in the middle of a snowstorm. His efforts to get Santa's attention fail.

(The Ray 1994 #20)

A couple happen to find him and naturally are concerned. Where is his family?

He's actually a sweet kid when he doesn't feel threatened.

But Nadine Terrill, his father's second wife (now divorced), isn't too pleased when he shows up. She knows her ex-husband had another son from a previous marriage who was born in the 1940s, but an eight-year-old child claiming to be his? Clearly the product of an affair from when they were still married.

Now that they have a lead on Happy's whereabouts, Joshua flies them out to Philadelphia, where they hang out at Ray's empty apartment for a while and Joshua spends a lot of his time floating around upside-down because why wouldn't you if you had flight.

(The Ray 1994 #21)

When he finally meets Ray, his initial impression is to attack him, but Ray's not having that.

(The Ray 1994 #22)

But once Joshua knows who this strange young man is (although it's unclear if he has grasped that this is his half-brother), he takes to him immediately.

And he jumps back into his old role of sidekick when Ray must go and protect his mom.

He continues to fight when Ray is removed from the equation, but unfortunately...he ends up destroying Nadine's house.

(The Ray 1994 #23)

But ultimately he helps Ray take down the villain.

And gets ice cream.

(The Ray 1994 #24)

It's been a long, exhausting day. The Terrills stay the night at Nadine's friend's house, and Joshua gets put to bed.

But he doesn't sleep well.

(The Ray 1994 #27)

And when he wakes up disoriented and terrified from a nightmare...

His father finally catches up to him, but Joshua mistakes him for the imposter he met earlier.

(The Ray 1994 #28)

In a state of extreme panic, he runs away.

Nadine survives the explosion, but her friend does not. Joshua has inadvertently killed again.

Ray goes after him, but Joshua has expended so much energy that his powers give out and he collapses mid-flight into the ocean.

He is rescued before he can drown, and the next we see him, he is back in bed at Ray's apartment, sleeping peacefully.

And that's the last we ever hear of this child. The series ended with this issue, Ray got regulated to guest appearances and team outings without much (if any) acknowledgement of his personal life, and Joshua was never even mentioned again.

So what happened to him?

Putting him back in the cryogenic chamber shouldn't be an option; not only is it unethical, it did nothing to solve his problem--rather, exacerbated it.

And how much of what we know about his background is true? We only know what Happy tells Nadine about him, and although she has demanded that he tell her the whole truth, he has a history of lying and manipulating, so everything he says is potentially questionable.

What we see of Joshua's behavior does seem to back up the story. He does get overwhelmed by emotion and uses his powers in destructive, sometimes deadly ways. His mentality does indeed seem to be that of a child younger than his physical age. But is he really as hopelessly uncontrollable as his father makes him out to be? Under normal circumstances he seems fine. Whenever he does lash out, his narration reveals that it's not erratic; he's in frequently in circumstances that would terrify any child, and he's trying to protect himself. Within less than a day, he destroyed his house, inadvertently killed his mother (...or did he?), and his father drugged, froze, and abandoned him. That would be incredibly traumatic.

Surely there's a way that his out-of-control powers could be restrained. Earlier in the series, it's shown that Happy has the ability to basically hypnotize Ray into believing he's lost his powers. Why didn't he try that with Joshua, if only as a temporary solution?

Ray's powers are greater than his father's, though, so if anyone could find a way to help Joshua out permanently, it would likely be him. After all, it wouldn't be the first time in this universe that a hero had to straighten out a younger counterpart's unmanageable powers (as Wally did for Bart in 1994).

So the ideal ending would involve not only Joshua learning to better control his powers but also getting the emotional support he needs (which would further help in that direction). Handing him over to the care of his father full-time would be a mistake, but the entire family should get the opportunity to work on rebuilding their relationships.

And with some stabilizing, maybe the Ray and Spitfire could be a thing again. Maybe Joshua, like his brother, could join a team. He's not too far in age from Damian or Jon or Chris.

But we never do get to find out, and since Ray and family have since been rebooted and made almost completely different, it's unlikely Joshua will make an official reappearance.

Doesn't stop me from having questions, though.

[dandunn]

THE SAGA CONTINUES!

"Pleeeeease Pops?" Lupin begs, with big wet cow eyes and his clasped hands drawn up to his face in supplication.

"Babysit, did you say babysit?" Zenigata repeats the words. It occurs to him that Lupin has tens, maybe hundreds of illegitimate Lupin the Fourths running around, but this is the first time he's ever heard the thief acknowledge that.

Probably something he doesn't like to think about. Zenigata thinks, Think of how much unpaid child support he must have accrued over the years!

"Yeah you heard me right. It's just for a few days. I have uh… something I need to do and they're too helpless to do anything. They can't even drive! Believe me I checked-"

Zenigata blinks, then scowls and tugs his handcuffs out, "you're under arrest Lupin, AND I'm calling child support!"

"NO WAIT!" Lupin's hands fly up as one half of the cuffs fly out and snap around his wrist, "will you just come with me? I promise it'll make sense in a moment."

If he were anyone else, Zenigata would beat him to a pulp (and he probably should because he's not anyone else) but he humours him this time and follows him up to his apartment.

And to his annoyance it does. It instantly makes sense.

As soon as Lupin walks in, he points angrily at a little boy with a shaggy mess of black hair and an oversized hat on his head. "JIGEN! NO! That's dirty, spit that out!"

Lupin leaps over the couch, lunging to stop the little boy from shoving a cigarette butt between his lips. The boy hisses like a feral cat and ducks out of his reach, the dogend in his mouth and several more shoved under his hat.

Zenigata watches them run circles around the couch with his jaw hanging open.

Jigen. As in Jigen? Lupin's Jigen? The scrawny, surly, chain smoking, hard drinking adult man?!

He's so…. Adorable! Zenigata thinks, a tear springing to his eye as he watches Lupin tackle the boy to the ground and pick him up. He plucks the crumpled cigarette out of the- out of Jigen's mouth.

Up close it's unmistakable. The shaggy hair, the hat and especially the grin on his dumb little face as he waves up at Zenigata from Lupin's arms.

"This is a prank, right?" Zenigata says, as Jigen's chubby arm waves ecstatically back and forth.

"I swear it's true Pops!" He grabs Jigen's hat off of his head to shake out the contraband, "Jigen, c'mon. Say something only you would say."

"Go away old man! I hate you!" Jigen wails, wiggling around in Lupin's arms and trying to escape.

Just then, Zenigata feels a tug on his trenchcoat and looks down to see a solemn little face looking up at him. Hair curled neatly by his ears, a katana under his arm. 

Right. Lupin said they. 

Goemon's eyes are scary even as a little child, the cute Kamen Rider T-shirt doing little to take away the idea of the tiny little boy slicing him up despite his size.

"I wish it was, Pops." Lupin says, out of breath as he absently shoves Jigen into his arms, "Keep an eye on them, please? I won't be long. And please make sure Jigen doesn't smoke. I tried to get him to tell me where his secret whiskey stash is but…. you know how kids are."

Jigen pulls down an eyelid and sticks his tongue out at Lupin with a 'bleeeeeh!' 

"I need to figure out a way to sneak them back into the lab so I can change them back but we're being watched and they can't protect themselves." Lupin continues.

"Hey now I haven't agreed to this yet!"

But Lupin is already walking out of the door, Zenigata's cuffs detached and once more safe in his pocket. "I'll be as quick as I can, Pops! Promise!"

The door slams shut. Zenigata stares at the tiny child in his arms. So light and fragile. "Seriously, Jigen? How'd you get into a mess like this?"

Jigen blows a raspberry in his face and knocks his hat off of his head before leaping out of his arms. The most maniacal chuckle Zenigata has ever heard from a child comes out of the boy as he runs off.

As Zenigata wipes the six year old spit off his face, he mutters morosely to himself, "This is gonna suck."

Oohh these prompt writings are so fun to read, how about this for a prompt... de-aged Lupin and the gang (with/without Zenigata)

I was going to skip this ask honestly because I thought it wasn't my kind of thing but I did it and ended up being surprised. Uh. Also this is only part 1. Enjoy???

Lupin is losing his shit. As in 'holding in his sides trying not to die' laughing. It's the funniest thing he's ever seen.

"CAN IT SHIT FOR BRAINS! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Jigen bellows, the insult would be as intimidating as the throaty roar of a lion in any normal situation. But this isn't a normal situation. It comes out as the high-pitched squeak of a kitten.

Because Jigen is six years old. And adorable!

Jigen's protests only cause a fresh lunatic howl of laughter to burst out of Lupin. He wipes tears off of his face, dabbing his cheeks with the sleeve of his pink jacket. Little Jigen stamps his foot and pouts. His hat is too big for his head now and keeps sliding off.

"Oh I'm gonna die!" Lupin says breathlessly, "Where's Goemon? Did he get hit too?"

From out behind the hefty piece of machinery comes the most shell-shocked little boy Lupin has ever seen, his robes wrapped around himself like a blanket and his now far too big sword dragging behind him.

"Ohh." Lupin coos, his eyes filling with tears again. 

"Cease." Baby Goemon murmurs, his chubby cheeks turning red. "Do not say what I think you are going to say."

Lupin can't help himself. His face twists up in an effort to hold his squeal back, but it's too late, "You're so…. Cuuuuuute!"

Goemon attempts to draw his sword, but his arms aren't long enough and it catches halfway in its sheath. His feet get tangled in his robes and he falls on his ass.

Both of his partners turned children stare up at him.

Why'd it have to be me that gets stuck as the only adult here? Lupin thinks, I'm not exactly a role model!

"This is gonna be a problem if we get attacked." Lupin says, scratching the back of his neck, "Unless the guys who made this machine have a weakness for being kicked in the shins."

"Lupin when I get back to normal I am going to kill you!" Little Jigen meows again, struggling to pick up his combat magnum with his tiny hands. "How do we change back?! The controls on the machine-?"

"Do you really want me to go messing around with unknown technology, what if I press the wrong button and you both end up eighty years old?"

"Point."

Unfortunately for Jigen and Goemon someone else makes the decision for them.

They start being shot at.

"No time to figure it out, off we go!" Lupin cries as he scoops up both of his partners and bolts. Jigen tries to cover Lupin's back as he dangles under one of his arms, the knockback so severe with his underdeveloped muscles that the entire gun almost flies back and knocks him upside the head. 

This isn't good. 

They barely get out of the laboratories in one piece, and Lupin's arms are not built for carrying two deadly little children at once. He's wheezing and has had to dodge more than a couple of bullets by the time they escape.

Back at the hideout, Lupin drops the two kids before heading out to buy them some clothes (making them promise not to use the stove or stick forks in electrical sockets until he gets back. Jigen throws an ashtray at him but it falls short).

Once they aren't drowning in their adult clothes anymore they all sit down to take stock. 

Unfortunately tailored suits and kimono robes for six year olds aren't easy to find, so Jigen gets a shirt with a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and Goemon gets Kamen Rider.

Lupin couldn't find a miniature borsalino either, so Jigen gets to keep his ludicrously oversized hat. The sight of it keeps making Lupin snicker so much he can barely stand to look at his poor gunman.

"So, what happened, what was it like?" Lupin says, enjoying this a bit too much despite how grumpy his partners are.

"You mean what it was like going through puberty in reverse? Not fun!" Jigen says, the couch practically swallowing him up. He reaches for a cigarette out of habit but Lupin stops him.

"I may be a lot of things but I'm not someone who allows a baby to smoke."

"Fuck you."

"That machine." Goemon says slowly, "we were lured into the room with it on purpose, this was done to us to take away our strength."

"Makes sense. Everyone knows how awesome and unstoppable we are." Lupin preens, "They probably think I'm helpless without you two."

"It is true." Goemon snipes. 

Jigen folds his tiny arms, grumpily staring at the cigarette box in Lupin's hands like a regular kid would look at a box of candy. "So we break back into the facility and threaten them into changing us back!"

"What's your rush, Jigen?" Lupin muses.

"What do you mean 'what's your rush?' Of course we want to get back to normal!"

"You just want to smoke." Goemon clips, and Jigen looks like he's considering getting in a baby fist fight with him.

"I'm thinking practically! What if we end up stuck like this?! What if we have to grow up all over again; voice cracking, high school - zits!"

Lupin shrugs, waving a hand, "Something something a chance to relive your youth?"

"Why on earth would we want to do that?" Goemon deadpans. "I wish to be restored to my true age as soon as humanly possible."

Lupin tries not to start giggling again, hearing Goemon's darkly formal serious voice coming out of such a cute little package. He gets a hold of himself. "Look, when we broke into the facility I had help from both of you and now I have to think of a plan to get us back in without Jigen's shooting or Zantetsuken. Just… make the best of it you can until I do that. Did either of you even have childhoods?"

The two boys turn to look at each other, Jigen lifting up his hat to shoot Goemon a quirky look from underneath his bangs. 

"My point exactly." Lupin stands up to go back to the drawing board. "Play with some blocks, take a nap or something. Don't pee your pants. I'll be as fast as I can."

Before he goes to shut himself in his room with his planning desk, he remembers something. He turns back quickly to grab Jigen's cigarettes and puts them on top of the highest wardrobe in the room. "And no smoking!"

If Lupin had a dollar for every time a six year old had flipped him off he would have about two dollars. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

[pixeldolly]

Walden BACC #622

The rest of Junior year went by without further incident, and before long the residents of Learmont Hall were preparing to embark on their final year of college. Soon, they would have to join the real world, but for now they could enjoy the relatively care-free student life a bit longer.

Oliver was on his way to grab a textbook when he noticed Roman’s door was wide open. A side glance revealed a bunch of boxes stashed around the nearly empty room, and Roman zipping up his suitcase on the bed.

Oliver: “Are you...going somewhere?”

Roman: “I’m moving out.”

Oliver: “Moving out? Moving out where?”

Roman: “Just up the road, actually - a freshman was looking for a roommate and I decided to go for it.”

Oliver: “Right...”

Roman: “Rent’s a bit more expensive, but but it’s just for another year so I think I can afford it.”

Oliver: “But...why?”

Roman: “It’s better this way. I’m sure Evelyn will be more than happy to have me out of her hair.”

Oliver: “She doesn’t hate you, dumbass! She’s just waiting for you to show her that you’re willing to be a better person. If you only -”

Roman felt a stab if irritation - all these people, judging him, assuming they knew everything about him when they had no idea, no idea at all! Evelyn’s anger he understood, he deserved it, but he wasn’t going to take this holier-than-thou bullshit from Oliver. The guy was far from a saint.

Roman: “It’s okay, your secret is safe with me. You don’t have to pretend to care.”

Oliver: “Huh?”

Roman: “What happened back there...I know that was no hazing ritual. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, and at one point I heard some stuff: they were talking about sacrificing me to some...god or something. I thought that was just crazy talk, until I heard about the Cow Plant, and suddenly it made sense.”

For once, Oliver had no snappy retort - he was utterly speechless. He’d always thought Roman was, well, a bit dim - prettyboy without much between the ears. Had he misjudged him?

Roman: “Then you were there, laughing it off, so eager to convince me it was just a prank, to let it go. And those guys? I saw their faces, they were scared of you, man. I don’t know what you got yourself mixed up in and honestly, I don’t care. You saved my life, for whatever reason, so...this is my way of saying thanks.”

[synnthamonsugar]

>:) Crow and Phoebe #15

15. That you regretted after

In the permanent twilight of the Tangled Shore, a hunter and titan stagger, almost-emptied bottles in hand, from their drinking spot in the High Plains. They'd planned to sleep it off in one of Crow's old hideouts until the opportunity for mischief intervenes.

"We should take something," Phoebe suggests to Crow, scent of whiskey strong on her breath even at arm's length, while eyeing the entrance to Spider's Safehouse.

"Like what?" Crow asks, steadying himself on her shoulder. He's not as far gone as she is, but the buzz is still strong enough to throw him off kilter.

"Beats me," Phoebe shrugs. Tips her head back and lifts the bottle above her mouth, trying to get the last few drops. "He's got all sorts of fancy old shit, right? He's not gonna miss a painting or a jar."

Crow looks around. The Shore is deserted this time of "night", most of its residents asleep, his ex-boss among them. With liquor-greased hunter stupidity and a hot ember of spite he makes up his mind. "Let's do it."

He couldn't forget the secret entrances and the utility corridors even if he wanted to, so he's able to navigate to Spider's treasure room even with his head swimming and his vision spinning. The locked door presents a greater problem. Even if Glint was willing to lend a hand, he wouldn't conceive of involving him in something so petty and dangerous.

"Crow, how long will it take you to get what you need?"

The stash is just down a set of stairs. He tells her 'not long'.

"And if I made a commotion, uh, hypothetically — how long would it take for the big guy to get here?"

"A minute, maybe two? The quarters are all the way on the other —"

A blinding flash of blue and the shearing of metal as Phoebe slams her fist through the door, and rips it from its hinges. The audacity just about knocks sobriety into Crow, though he has to deal with the field of stars dancing across his vision. Like he stood too close to one of the welders in the Tower hanger. "Go. Gogogo!"

He's gone before the first 'go'. No time to take the staircase, he decides as he's already falling, and lands with a serviceable-enough tumble. Flawless. Red afterimages still dancing across his field of view, his eyes dart from piece to piece. Grabs one.

When he makes it back up, Phoebe is already brawling with two of Spider's guards — there's an arc of electricity as she lands a crunchy uppercut on one that sends them flying, before wheeling a sloppy roundhouse kick into the other — never mind the form, they stagger and fall. Crow spikes a smoke bomb at their feet and they dissolve into invisibility before booking it for the exit.

. . .

Crow wakes up to a pounding head and dry mouth face-down on the floor of his jumpship. Glint is a few inches away, judgement clear in his optic even if Crow has trouble focusing his eyes at this distance.

Phoebe croaks a pained groan from the bunk she's claimed as her own. Didn't even bother to get out of her armor before she flopped; he feels a prickle of annoyance that he'll have to clean oil and dust and ether out of his bed-linens.

"I don't think we can go back," she murmurs.

Blurry memories of the night filter back into Crow's brain. If he wasn't nauseated before, he is now. "I don't think I want to."

They both sit up and assess the burglarized painting. A cow's skull, rendered in perfect detail, over an abstract backdrop of white and blue flanked in two red stripes. Huh. It's a little unfortunate he'll have to wait a couple hundred years before he can show anyone.

For now, his ship has a new piece of decor.

[deiliamedlini]

Unmasked

This is for the ball/masquerade zelink prompt by @zelink-prompts !

Summary: When Princess Zelda’s older sister is betrothed to the Prince of Faron, Zelda sets out for information about the mystery man, only to find herself in a whirlwind romance with the handsome stranger she just keeps meeting. 

Expand at your own risk. The Word Count for this is 13,563. Or read at Ao3/FFN where it’s arguably easier to read

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kingdom of Hyrule was at peace.

That in and of itself was a rare thing. So, when King Rhoam Hyrule decreed that his daughter be married to a Prince of Faron, the kingdom was surprised. Such arranged marriages were often only performed during times of war and necessity. But Hyrule was a flourishing kingdom with little need for anything. Faron was smaller, but it was by no means poor or needing of Hyrule’s aid.

Thus, the speculation began.

Was Hyrule secretly in need? Was there an upcoming war? Was something wrong with the Princess herself?

That’s how Princess Zelda found herself sitting in the gardens with her sister, hands clasped as they awaited the arrival of the Faronian Prince and his mother who acted as his escort.

“Why is Father doing this?” Zelda asked, her grip on her sister tightening, afraid. “I don’t want you to go.”

And though the Prince would be arriving at any time within a few days, the wedding was still a long time away, and he and his mother were to be guests until then so they could learn about each other through a lengthy engagement. There were matters to be decided, such as whether the Prince and Princess would live in Faron or Hyrule, whose surname they’d each take, or if they’d change them at all.

Rae, Zelda’s older sister, pulled Zelda’s hand closer, bent over her entire arm, heaving with nerves, clutching to her sister like a lifeline. “I don’t know. This is all so sudden! I’m not even sure I’m ready! What if he’s cruel? What if, and pardon the Goddess for this thought, but what if he’s hideous?”

Princess Rae Hyrule, the oldest daughter of King Rhoam, had been inseparable from her younger sister since the day Zelda had been born. Though there were a few years difference between them, and Rae was nearing her mid-twenties while Zelda had just entered them, they spent most of their days together, hooked by the arm, laughing, crying, singing, reading, gossiping, or otherwise causing some level of mischief together.

Many affectionately called them the Twin Princesses. Not only were they close, but they looked very similar. Both had golden hair, though Zelda had let hers grow down her back and favored a practical braid each day if not tying it up and out of her face completely, Rae had cut her hair neatly above her shoulders. There was some discrepancy in their face shape, and Zelda boasted the most verdant green eyes while Rae had brilliant hazel eyes. But besides that, they were nearly twins.

When a feature didn’t match, it was mirrored. Rae often complained of new worry lines that had recently begun to crease on her forehead permanently, but she often teased Zelda for the deep creases that appeared just between her sister’s eyebrows anytime she made a disgruntled face. Zelda was taller, but Rae was more graceful when they walked. Rae was more politically minded, a genius of sorts whenever she sat in on council sessions, while Zelda was a born researcher, more apt with books and theory and logic than the manipulations of court intrigue..

Zelda patted her sister’s arm and wriggled herself free. “I’ll go see what I can find in town. You’re going to be watched far more than me until they arrive.”

“Don’t remind me,” Rae laughed, but it was forced and merely for her sister’s benefit. She stood up and brushed herself off.

Rae led Zelda back into the large palace, heading up the many grand staircases until they reached their rooms, both turning left down the hall to Zelda’s rather than right, to Rae’s room.

Rae flopped onto Zelda’s bed while Zelda rummaged through the closet, grabbing a dress that she’d hidden underneath the skirts of another that she never used. She pulled both off the hanger and replaced her decoy in the closet, changing as hastily as she could.

Zelda was no stranger to escaping the castle unnoticed. In fact, she did it so often that she had a hidden stash of items hidden in a hollowed-out tree just outside of town that she used for observational field studies. Rae had accompanied her once or twice, but it was often too difficult for her to escape the notice of guards for too long. But Zelda, the second child, was under far less scrutiny and managed much easier.

She donned a hooded cloak and her worn travelling boots. She undid her neatly braided hair, done perfectly by her lady’s maids, and redid the braid herself so it wasn’t nearly as pristine.

Both headed to one of the secret emergency exits that led from the castle and out into Hyrule Field. Rae gave her sister a kiss on the cheek before closing the door, off on a mission of her own to see what her favorite servants knew of this Faronian Prince.

Zelda, on the other hand, spent a long walk through the dark tunnel ruminating about the loss of her sister. They’d always been together, they spent most of their time together… what would she do without her?

Zelda crossed Hyrule Field wishing that there was something she could do to keep her sister with her. And she ended up lost in her thoughts as she walked along the path through a deeply wooded area that she’d been through many times before.

So, when she felt something hard crash into her, knocking her to the ground, she let out a surprised scream. Her mouth was covered by a hand, her scream muffled almost immediately as they both fell to the ground, rolling into the brush on the side of the road.

Zelda struggled to free herself, trying to scream and to break from the tight arms that held her down. She was a Princess of Hyrule, and she would not be mugged by a common thief in the woods outside of town! Her legs kicked, and the stranger threw his own leg over hers to stop her squirming.

But Zelda fell helplessly still when she saw that the man who’d crashed into her wasn’t the biggest threat.

Several large moblins thudded onto the path, banging their heavy clubs against the dirt. They each let out an enraged and frustrated scream, an inhuman noise that Zelda and Rae had attempted to imitate all their lives for fun, yet never came close to even a fragment of the actual terror they produced.

The man let go of her mouth, trusting that she knew not to scream now, and leaned over her to see through the thicket. His breath was rapid in her ear. She was sure he could feel her shaking. Never had she been this close to a moblin, let alone several.

The moblins turned towards them, and Zelda subconsciously cowed back into the man. He put a hand reassuringly on her arm, using the moment to get more of himself over her, like he was ready to jump out if he needed to.

After an endless moment of searching the area, the moblins grew bored as they realized that they’d lost their prey. Their weapons dragged in the dirt, leaving a thin line trailing behind.

One more moment to be sure, and the man let go of Zelda.

As soon as she was able, Zelda scrambled to her feet, brushing off her dress and checking her knee, revealing a scrape there and one on her palm.

The man followed her. “I’m so sorry, Miss. I didn’t realize someone else was on the path.”

Zelda looked up at him. He was stunning. His blue eyes pierced through the bright daylight, and his blonde hair reflected the sun. He was neatly dressed, if a bit disheveled from their tumble. And his accent… Zelda hated to admit that she swooned at the sound of his voice. Her first impression of him, the one where he’d collided with her, had been replaced by this true first impression: an apology, saving her, and his extremely good looks.

She cursed herself for thinking such shallow thoughts, but this was out of a storybook: a handsome man crashed into her so they could hide from moblins.

“That’s alright,” Zelda said, checking herself again. “I’d rather be knocked into a bush than killed by moblins.”

“Are you hurt?” he asked, noticing her hand. There was a friction burn, red and irritated, though there was no cut skin.

“No, I’m alright. You?” She looked him over more thoroughly. He had a small knife on his belt, but that was all she could see for weapons. His hand was scuffed as well, but he looked otherwise unharmed.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“What made them chase you?” Zelda asked, looking down the path.

“Got in their way. I almost forgot how territorial they are. Won’t be making that mistake again,” he chuckled. He brushed himself off and glanced at his palm before extending his hand. “I’m Link.”

Zelda grinned as he spoke. “You’re Faronian, right?”

He chuckled. “What gave me away: the overused name or the accent?”

“Both, I’m afraid.” Nearly every boy in Faron was named Link out of respect for the roots of the Hero. “I’m Z—” she froze. He might be Faronian, but she looked like the princess, she sounded like she was raised on a formal education, and she was named Zelda. He might put it all together. “I’m—Sh—Hil—uh—Tetra. Sorry, I’m stuttering. I’m Tetra.”

“Tetra? Good to meet you.” He looked her over once and then stared at the tree line. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember if I apologized or if I simply asked if you were okay. But I’m sorry for crashing into you.”

“No, you apologized.”

“Right, good.” He scratched his nose and nodded. “I’m heading into town, so…”

“Oh, so am I.”

His brows perked up. “Are you? Would you like an escort? We’re headed that way, and it might be strange to just silently walk in the same direction and pretend not to notice the other.”

Zelda giggled. He was red, and clearly nervous. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” She started to walk and soon, they both fell into step beside each other.

“Any… exciting business in town?” Link asked awkwardly.

Zelda shook her head. “I’m just going to see what gossip I can catch up on. Your Prince is meant to be coming here soon, so I was curious if anyone knew more.”

“I do. Ask away.”

“Really?” Zelda asked, a smile creeping over her face.

“Of course.”

“Great!” Zelda cleared her throat and attempted to compose herself. “Sorry, I mean thank you. Do you know when he’s going to be here?”

“Tomorrow. He left several days ago and should be in time for the ball. His caravan with the Queen is less than a day outside the city, but they’re stopped. Looks like they’re just waiting out the night.”

“What does he even look like?”

“Like most Faronians, I suppose. Blonde, blue eyes. A swordsman in his spare time. A bit quiet, though. And short.”

Zelda turned suspiciously to him. “Short? Height-wise?”

“Yes. Though, rumor has it, he’s terribly self-conscious about it.”

“That’s what the public eye will get you: self- conscious thoughts, and doubts about everything.”

Link scoffed. “You speak as if you know.”

Zelda bit her lip and held out her arms. “Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? That someone always being stared at and judged will feel that internally.”

He hummed, content with that answer. “That’s true.”

They walked down the long path to town. “How exactly did you attract that many moblins?” she asked after a long stretch of silence.

“They recognize one of their own,” he chuckled.

Zelda shot him a bemused look.

“Like I said, they’re territorial… I just forgot where their territory was. Crossed into it and the rest is history.”

“You’re fortunate,” she said, looking him over. Besides the scrapes from their tumble, he looked entirely unharmed. “Moblins are also very aggressive.”

“They are. We don’t have quite as many of them in Faron, so I nearly forgot.”

“I’ve been seeing quite a few people from Faron coming into Hyrule lately,” Zelda noted. “Your Prince among them.”

“And Queen.”

“Not the King?”

“No. He hasn’t been in travelling condition for a while, so he’s handling things back home.”

The walk passed quickly with them both deep in conversation with the other. It was trivial chatter, but engaging and interesting none the less. Zelda realized that she liked this stranger and wasn’t eager to be parted from him just yet.

So, when they arrived in town, she hastily offered to show him around. He accepted, and she led him through the streets that she’d familiarized herself with, keeping her hooded cloak up and her head down, though she hadn’t been in public as Princess for some time.

They ate together at her favorite hole-in-the-wall location, The Lumpy Pumpkin, and Zelda learned that Link had the appetite of a starving man. He barely chewed his food, swallowing pieces nearly whole at times.

He still had table manners, which surprised her for someone eating so aggressively as Link did. She imagined his parents must have drilled it into his brain as a child for the to stick so subconsciously.

He’d apologized, but Zelda found it almost endearing.

They’d stayed at the table long after the food had gone, just so they could speak a little longer. He told her of home, and she gushed about Hyrule. He listened while she griped about the pressures her father was putting on her and her sister, while he understood every bit of it, feeling the same from his mother.

She’d gladly paid for both their meals—especially because he’d brought the wrong amount of Faronian rupees, forgetting the conversion rate. And when she sat at the table with him, both ready to part and go their separate ways, he hesitated.

“Would you… are you doing anything… specific?”

Zelda grinned. “No, I’m not. Are you?”

A bashful look spread over his face. “I… don’t have any plans. I was just… I was coming into town and… and I didn’t…” he cleared his throat and shook his head, starting over. “Would you like to join me?”

---

“And then he said, ‘Zelda, I’m in love with you.’”

“That’s not what happened!” Rae shouted, slamming her palm on the mattress.

Zelda giggled and pulled the blanket up higher to engulf her in a cocoon.

“This isn’t fair!” Rae pouted. “You got a fairytale day, and I get some prince that I now know a whole four things about.”

And it was true; Zelda and Link had spent the whole day together.

They’d gone to several stalls, and Zelda had pointed out landmarks that he seemed unfamiliar with. He’d told her of Faron, and she’d described other areas of Hyrule to him.

At one point, they’d both found their hands interlocked, though neither knew who’d initiated it. Still, she felt indulgent, and rather than pulling away, she kept hold of him.

And when it came time to separate, the moon was already high. He offered to walk her back home, but she’d declined, needing to keep that much a secret. Besides, she was right near the cave that led to the passage back home.

It was with huge regret that she’d let go of his hand.

“Are you going to see him again?” Rae asked eagerly.

“I don’t think so. He had to head back, and I obviously have the ball today, so I couldn’t ask to meet him.”

“You should have just asked him to the ball.”

“He thinks I’m Tetra, remember?”

“Well, Tetra,” Rae teased with a sigh, “We have to get ready, unfortunately.”

Zelda pushed the thoughts of the stranger from her mind. “Today, for just a few hours, we can hide behind our anonymity. Be happy.”

“You literally went into town, crashed into an attractive stranger, and didn’t have to wear a suffocating mask for no one to recognize you. You get two days.”

Zelda stuck out her tongue and slid out from the blankets, returning to her room to get dressed.

Laid out for Zelda was a long blue ballgown, intricate with the patterning, but otherwise not indicative of her royal status. A masquerade was meant to be a guessing game, after all. Her dress showed little besides her family’s wealth, which anyone attending the celebrations tonight most likely displayed anyway.

Her mask was a full-faced porcelain abstract representation of the pale moon. There were golden designs all along it, etched into the mask itself, and forming a halo over the top. Personally, she thought it looked a little too much like the sun. She’d had hers altered so the mask was cut off by the time it reached her mouth, allowing her the ability to breathe and eat unobstructed.

She was only wearing this mask because Rae was going to wear the blood moon mask, one very similar to her own but fashioned in red like her dress, and since they were sisters, they agreed that they had to match.

Zelda’s hair was loose and in deliberate waves, which she figured would be good because of how rarely she kept her normally pin straight hair down at public events.

The ball was later in the evening. Rae and Zelda stayed together in one of the castle’s libraries, their identities known only by a few of the servants who helped them get ready. They were to be fashionably late to the party, that way no one would be able to assume that the hosts were among the first guests.

“You may enter now,” one of the ladies said, peeking her head into the library.

Rae pulled Zelda by the hand and linked their arms tightly together. “If you find someone who may be the Prince, you’ll have to let me know!”

“And if you find someone who can take my mind off Link, you let me know.”

Rae grinned and pulled her mask down. “My baby sister’s growing up.”

“Shut up.”

They could hear the music and the echo of chatter long before they reached the grand ballroom. They were led in through a casual door on the side, meant to avoid any grand entrance.

And so, they melded seamlessly into the crowd, still clutching the others’ arm to navigate without being separated. They were knocked into several times, which—while annoying—was almost refreshing. They were so used to the space that was given to them for their titles.

Zelda giggled as she took in all the incredible colors, bright and vibrant and intense. There were masks on every face, including those serving the food and drinks and entertainment. While the ballroom floor was packed and occupied, there were dancers off in the corners, there were performers in far more eccentric clothes standing in designated areas doing tricks.

Brushing past a woman in a white dress, Zelda pulled Rae to slow her down to avoid spilling the woman’s wine. She looked up and giggled harder. This was Lady Impa. Her mask went around her eyes, but hid no other part of her face. Zelda wondered how that was meant to accomplish any level of anonymity. But knowing Lady Impa, she probably wanted to be recognized, hence her choice.

Rae let go of Zelda once they were in the center of the room watching dancers spin with elegant grace. Dresses swished with the movement, almost giving off an ethereal quality to their motions as fabric seemingly moved without prompting.

The men were just as intriguing as the women, however. Lavish and outrageous colors were expected, so the typical boring, dull colors she was used to during a normal event were nowhere to be found.

Ducking, Zelda let go of Rae to avoid a rather large mask that stuck straight out like the snout of a Moblin. They giggled together before moving away.

Then, a man was in front of them, stepping backwards. And they walked straight into him.

“Oh! Forgive me!” Rae said, pushing Zelda back a bit as she grabbed the man’s arm apologetically before letting go.

He bowed his head. It had Zelda’s heart spike that they’d already been recognized, but quickly remembered that was just a typical greeting. “No, forgive me,” he said in a Hylian accent. Not the prince. “I just moved into the middle of this walkway. The fault is mine.”

Rae shook her head and went to reach for Zelda again when the man took a step forward.

“Would you be interested in an apology dance?”

Her hand froze in the air between her and Zelda. “Uh…” She glanced behind her and Zelda smiled, stepping back to give Rae some space. “Yes, a mutual apology then.”

The man held his hand out for Rae, and she took it as they walked onto the dancefloor.

Rae shot Zelda an excited smile before disappearing into the crowd of bodies.

And that’s where she stayed for three songs.

Zelda stayed on the edge of the floor, watching Rae twirl with unbridled grace as, dance after dance, a new partner replaced the last.

She felt a twinge of jealousy and embarrassment, as no one was asking her. She was so clearly alone and watching the dances. And a hit to her self-confidence had her wondering if the only reason people were ever interested in striking up a conversation with her was because she was a Princess of Hyrule.

It was that realization that had Zelda needing air.

She doubled away from the dance floor, pushing her way through the crowd. She needed privacy for a moment. She needed this stupid mask off just so she could breathe, but the ballroom was so crowded. There was no space. There was no room. There was no air.

She picked up the pace once she was out of the congested area, nearing a jog just to get away from this room of strangers.

And crashed directly into a man.

She heard him grunt, but that was all she could process before they both tumbled to the ground. She was on top of him, and a new level of embarrassment flooded her as she crawled off him, helped by a servant who’d seen the whole thing. He pulled the man to his feet as well before a wave of panicked hysteria burst from Zelda’s lips.

“I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to… are you hurt? I wasn’t paying any attention, Goddess, that’s… I’m sorry! It was so crowded in there and I need to get out and then I get over here where there’s one person, and I run into you like a stampeding herd of animals. I’m so sorr—”

“Tetra?”

Zelda froze, stopping mid-sentence. There was only one person she’d used that name with.

She was finally able to take him in: he was wearing a green and gold ensemble, an expensive one. It almost looked like it was decidedly more embellished and expensive than hers. And his mask was a green dragon, Farosh. It jutted out over his face a bit for the dragon’s nose, and it fell into a point in the back, like a tail or a pointy hat.

“Link?”

He smiled, his mouth, part of his nose, and his eyes visible under his mask. “Yes.”

Zelda gasped and took a step back. “I… why are you here?”

“Why are you?”

Zelda stuttered and pointed dumbly to the ballroom, lost for words. The stranger from yesterday. Of all the thousands of people in that room, that great, packed room with several balconies just as crowded… of all those people, she ran into the one man she’d met yesterday, and the one man she’d tried all night to forget.

Because who’d ever expect to find the perfect stranger again in this lifetime?

Not Zelda. Not here. Not on the one day everyone’s face was hidden.

“I’m… I’m at the ball.”

He chuckled and pulled her off to the side, out of someone’s way as they walked through to another room. “Yes, so am I.”

“Right, but why?”

“Do you think it’s a bad thing that I’m here?”

“No!” she said too hastily. “I mean, it’s unexpected, but certainly not bad.”

“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admitted, adjusting his mask. “I’m glad the gods proved me wrong, tonight of all nights.”

“What’s special about tonight?”

She swore she could see him raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Well, a ball, for one. But really, it’s more than that. Now that I’m here in Hyrule, my life is going to change, and this is my last great goodbye to my old life, I suppose.”

“Why is your life changing?”

“Well, the very act of moving here, for one,” he said simply. But he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, you were rushing off somewhere. Am I keeping you?”

“No! Not at all. I needed to get out of that crowd for a moment. I was… well, no. It’s so stupid, now that I think about it.”

“What?”

“I was just… people were dancing with my sister, and I wasn’t… I just… I don’t know. I suppose I’m used to people asking me to dance, and I sort of spiraled. These events are so easy to be consumed by.”

“Do you come here often?” he said with a crooked grin.

Zelda rolled her eyes. “Yes, actually. I… work here.” Not a lie. Princess of Hyrule was her job.

He hummed and cleared his throat. “You do?”

If Zelda didn’t know better, she’d say his voice cracked with nerves. “Yes.”

A vein in his neck bulged and he swallowed hard, quick to change the subject. “Why didn’t you just ask someone beside you to dance? I’m sure there was a partner who’d have obliged you.”

She turned to him and shook her head. “I’ve never asked someone. It’s just not something I’ve had to do.” She groaned. “That sounds so shallow of me.”

“Well, it’s the curse of frequenting a ballroom. People ask people they find attractive to dance.” His smile turned mischievous. “And while we’re on that subject, are you still eager to get away from the crowd, or would you honor me with a dance?”

Zelda was grateful for the mask covering her face, though she could feel everything heating up, and knew her neck had to be turning red if her cheeks were this flushed. “I would like that. But only if you tell me what you’re doing here as well. I told you why I’m here.”

Link offered her his arm. “Fair deal.”

She took it and they made their way back into the crowd. It was much too loud to have a normal conversation, so Zelda simply clung to Link’s arm as they pushed through the packed room, being jostled and elbowed, but their arms kept them from being separated in such a large area.

The previous song was ending, and they hurried to make it into place on the floor before the next could begin. Here, with some breathing room, it was easier to speak to one another.

“Do you know how to dance?” she asked.

And her heart skipped slightly when the music softly gathered, starting the tune to a familiar waltz, and she was answered by a wink.

He bowed to her, as every partner did, and she curtseyed back before Link moved in front of her again. His hand wrapped under her arm and rested perfectly on her back while he took her other hand in his.

Well, he knew how to stand, if nothing else.

And then they were spinning.

Zelda needed no help keeping up with this dance, as it was one she knew well, but she could feel Link’s hand on her back was tight and assured as he led her through a twirl before catching her again and resuming their easy 1, 2, 3 spinning with the entire group.

“Do I know how to dance,” he jokingly mocked into her ear when they returned together.

They stopped with the group and reversed directions, spinning fast and tight in the process. Link held her closer, and Zelda could barely breathe.

“Your hold is wrong now,” she managed to breathe out, despite how her stomach was being brutally assaulted with an onslaught of nervous butterflies desperately trying to find their way out of her.

He cocked his head, an attitude that she almost expected. “I know. I wanted you closer. Is that okay?”

She felt like she was just going to die. He was so unapologetic about his flirting, and each time he spoke, her heart beat faster than it already was. “Only if you finally answer my question.”

He nodded and Zelda spun out away from him before returning again. “I’m travelling with the Queen of Faron. Believe it or not, I am actually used to this sort of dancing as well.”

Once she was satisfied with an answer, she adjusted her hold on him so she was closer as well, their masks touching. “My surprise stems from you and I meeting while you were being chased by a hoard of moblins. That doesn’t seem much like someone travelling with a Queen. Are you a knight, then?”

He hesitated before nodding. “I am, yes.”

His hands were on her waist and he lifted her as they spun before setting her back on the dancefloor.

“You know,” he said when they were close again, “you and I are even now.”

“How so?”

“Well, I crashed into you yesterday, and you crashed into me today.”

Zelda chuckled. “True, I suppose. I am sorry, though. Did I hurt you?”

“I’ve taken far worse hits, believe me. Besides, I’m rarely graced with the run-in of a lifetime with a stranger I haven’t stopped thinking about.”

This time, they both missed their cue for a twirl, and Zelda’s grip tightened on him again. “Is that so?” He nodded and Zelda swallowed her nerves. “I feel the same. Though I have a confession to make.”

“Oh?”

“I used a fake name.” She shrugged. “You were a stranger, and I didn’t know you. And I was afraid you might know me if I said my name.”

Link didn’t so much as blink. “I can understand that. Though, I’m Faronian, and I can’t say I know the names of anyone who works here. May I know your real name, then? After a full day and a dance together, I’d say we’re hardly strangers.”

“We most certainly are still strangers. Close strangers, but strangers nonetheless,” she said, her hand so high up on his shoulder that her fingers could play with some of the loose hairs by his neck that had fallen from his low ponytail.

He arched into her at her touch and the front of their masks were touching again. “Is this how you treat strangers?”

“Only close strangers,” Zelda laughed. “My father wanted to name me after the late Queen to honor her.”

“So… Zelda?”

She nodded and hid her face by looking away, hoping she hadn’t given away too much. She’d truly told him very few lies, if any other than her name. Everything else just took some imagination to catch her true meaning.

“Zelda then,” he whispered just as the music ended.

It took far longer than it should have to let go of each other to clap for the orchestra. There was a brief pause for new dancers to join, old ones to leave, and for partners to change.

Zelda caught a glimpse of red looking her way, and squinted to make out the mask similar to hers. Rae was pushing her way through to see what was happening.

“Excuse me,” a new male voice said. Zelda turned, and it was the man from earlier, the one that Rae left to dance with.

“Yes?”

“We met earlier, and I danced with your friend as an apology for my clumsiness. I’d like to apologize to you as well.” He held out his hand, waiting for her to take it.

Zelda glanced behind her at Link. He was looking away, pretending to be interested in something else.

“I’m sorry,” she said gently as she turned back to the man. “I was just about to ask my partner for another dance.”

Link’s attention snapped back to her in surprise.

“Would you care for another dance, Sir Knight?”

His mouth fell open and a bashful grin spread along his face, his lips telling the entire story, despite the joyful squint in his eyes. “Yes, very much so.”

Zelda took Link’s hand and turned to the man. “Thank you for the offer, and I do accept your apology, though I don’t believe I have anything to forgive. Have a goodnight, sir.”

He looked shocked by her declining him, but he nodded, bowed, and left them alone.

There was still no music yet, so Link and Zelda stayed together, waiting to hear what it would be.

Link fixed the cuff on his sleeve, needing something to fidget with. “You’re a fast learner, for someone who’s never asked someone else to dance. I’d understand if it was just to get that man away though. I‘m quite good at sneaking off a dance floor, if you need me to.”

“No; I want to dance if you want to.”

His tongue snaked out to wet his suddenly dry lips. “Yes, of course.”

“It’s bad form to dance with the same partner in a row. I’d understand if you wanted out.”

“Not at all. And that’s a stupid rule for nobles and royals who’s faces are on display and everyone is watching them. That rule is moot when we are free behind these masks of anonymity.”

Zelda giggled. “Well, you certainly go to too many of these as well, don’t you?”

“Far more than you know.”

The orchestra played a few notes, and it signaled the dance. Zelda let go of Link, letting her fingers linger in his before heading to the other side of the dance floor.

Where she was accosted by a blood red moon.

“You’re dancing with him again?”

“Rae,” Zelda hissed, her voice the lowest whisper as she held her tight. “That’s the man from yesterday! Link!”

“Oh Goddess! How? Goddess, what?” Rae looked up at him before letting go of Zelda. “Nevermind! Go! Go!”

Zelda took her place in the line just a few away from her sister. Link followed her and took his place on his side.

This time, Zelda bowed first, and then Link. This dance was far more choreographed, and it took years of practice. She waited to see if he’d back out when he realized what it was—if he realized.

But he stepped in time with the music, matching each step perfectly, watching her all the while. His blue eyes pierced into her from where he stood, and she nearly forgot to move when it was her turn.

But they met in the middle, a fancy movement of their wrist led their hands to be pressed together as they spun.

“Is the one with the identical mask the sister you were telling me about?”

Zelda cleared her throat, praying, praying that he didn’t figure her and Rae out. But plenty of people had sisters. “Yes, she is.”

He hummed. “I’ve always wanted a sibling. No matter what anyone said, my mother always said she only wanted me.”

“What did ‘anyone’ say?” Zelda asked, intrigued by his choice in words.

He tensed and they separated for a while, stuck doing a few moves with another partner before they spun back together.

“My grandparents, specifically, wanted her to have more children. I don’t know, siblings seem like fun though, so as a young boy I always asked her to casually alter her entire life just to appease me and have more, you know?”

“I’m not surprised you failed,” Zelda laughed.

“No, neither am I.”

Zelda stepped to the side and their arms were intertwined as they moved. “My sister had a whole five years without me before I cam barreling into the picture. I was a terrible baby, apparently. I cried often.”

“Speaking from experience, you seem like a very welcome disruption to one’s life, regardless of your barreling in. And knocking someone over.”

“We’re even for that!” Zelda laughed, but her cheeks heated up all the same.

And so, they spent several more songs together, chatting about anything that came to mind whenever they were close enough to hear the other. Zelda turned down several more potential partners in favor of Link.

Rae occasionally managed to make eye contact, offering excited encouragement to keep going while she accepted every dance that came her way.

Zelda, though she could have kept going, pulled Link with her when the music ended. He happily complied, holding her hand with a tight nervous energy, despite the entire time they’d just spent in each other’s arms on the dance floor.

She led him through the crowd and out into the hallway before opening the large door to an abandoned balcony.

Tilting her face into the night breeze, and lit only by the light in the hallway inside, Zelda shook her head in disbelief. “You and I found each other two days in a row in two of the most unrelated places. Do you think it was the Goddess’ plan?”

“In Faron, we have the four gods, not the Goddess, but I believe it might have been their design. A rather strange one, though. I’m on a path where you and I are unlikely to see anything further than what we’ve had for the past few days.”

Zelda knew that feeling all too well. “Yes, I fear the same can be said for me as well.”

He looked at her curiously. “Is that so?”

She smiled sadly. “What’s your secret, Link?”

He hesitated before shaking his head. “If we meet again tomorrow, I swear on the gods that I will tell you my biggest secret. But tonight, I just want to be the knight wearing the mask of Farosh before that too is over. And after that spiel, I gather I can’t ask you what your secret is?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he conceded with a smile before he leaned against a pillar that blocked him from view of the door. It offered just a bit more darkness so he could look up at the stars. “The view from this castle is incredible. You can see town, the gardens, and the stars.”

Zelda joined him, leaving no room between them. Link didn’t seem to mind, and instead snaked his hand into hers.

“What’s the view from your home then?”

“Trees. The Faron Woods are just outside my window, and they’re massive. There’s no seeing the end.”

He adjusted his arm against the pillar so he was facing her instead, his hand running confusing but pleasant patterns along hers.

She turned to him, her brows scrunched, though he couldn’t see that. But her confusion disappeared when his blue eyes cast down on her lips and then back up. He leaned forward a bit and then waited.

Zelda barely managed to make her short-circuiting brain work long enough to nod.

Now, Zelda had been kissed before. She’d been kissed many times, in fact. Sometimes, it was from a presumptuous suitor. Sometimes, from the boy who worked in the kitchens she’d taken to for a time. Sometimes it was on the hand, and sometimes the cheek. Sometimes, even the lips.

So she was not unfamiliar with what to do. But Link, especially after what might have been hours on the dance floor, had her stomach in knots in ways that hadn’t been quite so powerful before.

Though they were perfect strangers who’d spent all of two days together—less even— though she felt like she’d known him forever.

He’d confessed he was hiding things from her. She said the same. She’d admitted that for a full day, he’d thought her name was something else. None of it phased the other. Perhaps it should have, but Zelda wanted this one night, and so did her, and who was she to ruin something perfectly good?

Link’s lips brushed hers, but they both immediately started to laugh as their masks bumped the other, keeping them at an odd angle that was both uncomfortable, and ill advised for a proper kiss.

“I’d kind of hoped the mask wouldn’t get in the way,” he admitted, tapping the large snout of his mask that hadn’t been a bother while dancing. But of course, now everything wanted to be in the way.

“We know what the other looks like. We can just take them off.”

Link hesitated again and turned to the door, despite them being hidden from it. “How private is this balcony?”

Zelda made a face. She hadn’t thought of someone walking in and seeing the Princess of Hyrule sticking her tongue down some strange man’s throat. She was glad he thought of it, for whatever reason.

But she was only allowed this night, and she wanted whatever she was allowed.

“We’re at a party with thousands of people all looking for a place to breathe. There’s some risk that someone will come out here.”

He nodded and took a breath before undoing the clasp behind his head and pulling his mask off, setting it on the ground. He was just as stunning as Zelda remembered from yesterday, though she wasn’t hesitant to admit that she somehow found herself more attracted after learning more about him.

She pulled hers off and set it beside his.

He took a deep breath and his eyes trailed all along her face, studying her fine features. She realized rather quickly that she was doing the same to him.

He chuckled. “I must have a line on my face from that thing. It was pressing down on me a bit.”

Zelda nodded and let the tip of her finger trace the deep indent in his skin, just under his eyes that went along the length of his face. Her nail tickled him, but he leaned into her until their foreheads were touching, finally unobstructed.

Zelda let her hand run the rest of the way down his face, trailing down his jaw, his neck, and his collarbone before sliding back up to wrap her arm over his shoulder, leaving just enough leeway so she could toy with his hair again. His eyes widened as he watched her, and Zelda realized that she could no longer see the piercing blue poking through. She could see and feel him breathing heavily, and it seemed that nervousness had taken over him, because he couldn’t move.

While, in fact, the opposite happened to Zelda.

She felt a rush of energy and bravery and kissed him.

It seemed that Link needed the push over the edge, because he recovered from his shock immediately, kissing her back with twice as much vigor.

If Zelda thought her chest was going to explode before, it’s because she’d never even imagined being outside on a balcony, her face exposed, being kissed as she’d never been before.

Her body was on fire, and not even the cool night breeze could cool her down. She was desperate, desperate for this stranger who didn’t know who she was. Desperate for this man that she’d come to like. Desperate for this feeling that she knew she’d become addicted to if she had it for too long.

They both pulled back for air before clashing again in the middle. This time, neither needed much prodding for it to go from passionate to a sloppy indulgence. It was tongues and teeth and clinging to the other just a little too hard, like letting go meant something far worse than distance. It was Link pulling away, leaving her lips cold before feeling his on her jaw and her neck over her racing pulse. It was her hand in his hair, and his gasp into her skin when she tightened her hold on him.

It was… a lot.

Zelda wasn’t one to keep track of time. She often wandered around town well past the time she knew her ladies would check on her at night. She’d been known to forget dinner and spend the time in the library. She’d once assumed it to be the wrong day, and she missed her father’s birthday, though Rae had bailed her out with a spare gift.

So for Zelda to be acutely aware of every second that passed, intent on drawing them all out as long as she could, it was a miracle. She didn’t intend to lose even a second of this time with Link before it was ripped away by the limitations of her title.

The only thing that could take her out of the moment now was—

“Zelda?” It was Rae’s voice. “You still out here? I saw—oh!”

Zelda broke away from Link’s lips and covered her mouth, as if that could hide what Rae had just clearly witnessed, and she squeaked out a sound.

Link turned his face away quickly, using Zelda almost as a shield to stay behind so as little of him showed as possible.

“Don’t worry, Link,” she said, chest heaving still as she patted him on the arm. “It’s just my sister.”

Rae bit her lip to try to fight back a smile. But she couldn’t hold her tongue. “So this is the dragon you’ve been dancing with all night?”

He finally turned to Rae and offered an embarrassed smile before holding out his hand. “Link.”

“Pleasure,” she said taking it with a firm shake, carefully avoiding her name. “Faronian accent? Is this the guy from yesterday, too?”

Zelda thought she’d been burning before, but now she was an inferno. She turned to walk away, but only crashed into Link without anywhere to go.

“You told your sister about me?” he asked smugly.

“Oh, she did,” Rae teased, knowing full well that Zelda already said this was the man from yesterday.

“Shut up!” Zelda hissed, though she felt Link’s hand reassuringly on her. He wasn’t weirded out by this embarrassing revelation, and that made Zelda feel only marginally better.

Rae’s smile faltered. “While I wholly support… whatever this is… you’re out here in the open, and father was just asking where you went. You’re lucky I saw you come this way before, and not him.”

Zelda shuddered at the thought and bent down to retrieve her and Link’s masks. He took his, but it wasn’t without regret, like their initial parting the night before.

“I should find my father. Let him know that I’m still around and see what he wants.”

“I should show my face to the Queen, lest she get the same idea to look for me.”

Zelda nodded, fiddling with her mask still. She turned to Rae. “I’ll be right inside in a second.”

Rae smirked and spun on her heel to wait in the hallway.

Which allowed Zelda and Link a final stolen moment.

Their kiss this time was soft and unhurried, but it was filled with a different kind of desperation than before. This was a goodbye, and they both knew it.

“Gods,” he whispered when they broke apart, though he didn’t move away. “I hate this.”

“Didn’t seem that way,” Zelda joked.

He shook his head, unable to find amusement. “Perhaps we can meet out here one more time before the night is up?”

“I’d like that.” She kissed him quickly once more and forced herself to don her mask once again. “After the second bell?”

“Has the first already rung?” he asked with a chuckle.

The bells signaled a break for the orchestra, and left a replacement in their wake to provide background music. The first was the start of their break. The second signaled their return, when more people were back on the dance floor again.

“No, unfortunately, I don’t believe I heard it.”

“Damn,” he muttered, running his hand along the exposed part of her face before nodding. “Second bell then.”

“Okay,” she grinned before regretfully letting go of his hand as she made her way back into the hallway to Rae. She glanced behind her, and saw him leaning against the pillar, watching her with a smile before she left.

“Goddess, tell me everything!” Rae hissed, locking Zelda in place beside her with a looped arm.

Zelda recounted some of the night as they walked, such as Link’s presence with the Faronian royals, but she stopped as soon as they stood in front of their father.

“Where have you been?” he asked Zelda. “Come with me, both of you.”

Zelda glanced at Rae, but she shrugged, unsure what was going on.

Their father led them into the library that they’d been waiting in earlier, and he sat down. They followed suit, though they still didn’t know why. But they knew their father: no amount of prompting would have him speaking if he didn’t want to.

Zelda was no longer with Link, and once again, time blurred. She listened carefully for the bells, and when she heard the first one, she began to panic. She had plenty of time, but even the thought of missing her final meeting with Link had her on edge.

But someone entered the library. “They are ready, Majesty.”

“Good.”

“Who?” Rae asked.

And to their blessings, he responded. “The Queen and the Prince of Faron. We’ve decided to move up the official announcement of your engagement to tonight while we have everyone here.”

“What?” Rae balked, grabbing for Zelda’s hand. Her grip was a vice, and she shook like a leaf.

“Yes, she and I decided. We’re making the announcement now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, so you wouldn’t have too much time to get worked up. Keep your mask on for now.”

“Then people will know who we are,” Zelda said, hesitating.

“They’d know from your dresses as well. You’re the royal family of Hyrule. Sometimes, you have to make a sacrifice for the family or for the kingdom.”

“Oh Goddess,” Rae choked out, holding Zelda for dear life as she struggled to stand, nerves and fear washing over her in waves.

“I’ve got you,” Zelda whispered, holding her sister tighter still, though some of that was nerves of her own. Link was about to find out her lie. And she’d really wished he didn’t have to find out this way. Their secret meeting couldn’t happen now. People would swarm her for another dance, or follow her for a conversation. Her guards would have to be on her more closely. This announcement turned a fairytale into a nightmare.

“Compose yourself. We’re going out there.” The King wore a mask of a Red Lion, one that obscured his entire face, yet somehow didn’t disguise him in the slightest.

Rae took deep breaths and pulled Zelda close before they made their way out into the hall to wait for the signal to move onto a short balcony overlooking the ballroom that was in such a place that it commanded attention when there were people on it.

Finally, the signal was given and the three of them stepped up into the light, standing at the railing so their hands were hidden, and Rae could hold Zelda as tightly as she wanted with no one noticing.

Their father held up his hand and the music stopped, and the room quieted.

“My people, I would like to first take this opportunity to thank you for coming here tonight for this masquerade celebration. And I do not seek to keep you from it for long. But as many of you already know, Princess Rae of Hyrule is set to marry the Prince of Faron. And today, they have arrived. We will begin a new era with our two kingdoms connected through their upcoming marriage as we celebrate this continued time of peace and prosperity!”

Rae tried not to look sick, but the thudding echo of heels on stairs had her turning to watch as the Queen of Faron ascended the back steps. She wore a deep, forest green gown and a Lizafols mask.

Rae and Zelda held their breaths. Because Rae’s fiancée was close behind.

And slowly, he came into view. He wore a…

Farosh.

A green and gold outfit.

Piercing blue eyes.

This time, it was Zelda who clung to Rae, both wide eyed in horror, both in pain from how hard they were gripping each other.

“Oh Goddess,” Zelda said, nearly throwing up as she did.

“Oh no,” Rae hissed, pulling her sister closer.

And the Prince stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the twin moon masks staring back at him.

“Oh gods…” he breathed, stopping in his tracks as his eyes met Zelda’s.

“Link, come on,” his mother whispered, urging him forward to stand beside her. Tentatively, he managed.

The King shook the Queen’s hand, and they turned out to the applauding crowd below. Both took off their masks, and signaled for their children to do the same.

Zelda’s hand shook as she pulled off her mask, praying, begging that the Prince just had the same exact intricate mask and outfit as Link.

Goddess, all the signs were there. In the same way that she kept slipping with the hints about her identity, he’d been doing the same, and she hadn’t even considered the possibility long enough to notice.

But taking off the mask revealed the blonde hair that she’d just had her hands in, the blue eyes that she’d just been staring into for the past few days, staring right back at her.

His mouth was hanging open, and he shook his head slightly, though she couldn’t reason out his meaning. Perhaps there was no meaning. Perhaps he was just in as much shock as she was.

“Link?”

“Rae.”

Both monarchs called their children up to the center.

If there was one thing that had been drilled into each of their minds since their very birth, it was that they needed to show no emotion, and to hold it in as much as possible. So, without charm or grace, without fear or anxiety, they wore a new mask of stone as they approached the other.

Link bowed stiffly, and Rae curtseyed. They took each other’s hand in solidarity for the sake of the crowd. Rae would later say that both their hands were covered in sweat, and that they could barely touch the other without an awkward mix of sticking and slipping right out of the other’s grasp.

“Please, continue to enjoy the celebrations! And may peace live in Hyrule forever.”

The moment the King gave the signal, Rae let go of Link and ran over to Zelda, pulling her from the balcony.

But there was someone on their tail.

“Zelda, I didn’t know!”

She stopped and closed her eyes before turning to him.

“That doesn’t make this any better, Link. Your Highness.”

Link’s eyes narrowed. “And you, Your Majesty. I never asked for a betrothal. I never asked for any of this. Not that your sister doesn’t seem like a fantastic person,” he added, giving her an apologetic look.

“No offense taken,” Rae said. “Let me talk to Father, Zelda. You’re a Princess as well. Perhaps you can take my place in this arrangement.”

“Marriage?” Zelda said, running her hands through her hair. “While yes, I most assuredly have developed feelings for this man in the past two days, I would hardly say I would like to drag him with me to an altar!”

“It’s a long engagement. Let me talk to him.” Rae tried to smile at Link, but it was forced. “I can’t marry you knowing my sister’s feelings.”

Link couldn’t find the words to speak. But he watched Rae turn to her father and his mother as they descended the stairs together.

“Father,” she said quickly. “I cannot marry Link.”

The King rolled his eyes. “Not this again.”

“No, no, the circumstances have changed. Could Zelda not take my place?”

“No,” he said bluntly, looking between his children. “What’s going on? What are you trying to pull?”

But it wasn’t Rae who answered.

Link’s mother narrowed her eyes on her son. “This is where you came yesterday, isn’t it?”

“No,” he said quickly. His eyes flashed to Zelda.

Everyone was quiet, trying to carefully phrase their words so no one was in undue trouble.

“I snuck out yesterday,” Zelda admitted, the silence crushing until one of them said something.

“As did I,” Link said. “We ran into each other, literally, and spent the day together.”

The Queen scoffed. “Is that all? You don’t want to marry Princess Rae because you spent one day running through the markets with Princess Zelda? Link, your position requires sacrifice. Your feelings are one of those sacrifices.”

That was familiar.

“Today as well,” Zelda added, taking a step closer to Link.

“Two days?” the King laughed. “You’re a child still, Zelda. One day you will learn to prioritize. Today is not that day. Link will marry Rae, they will learn to love each other, and these past few days with Link will fade from both your memories. I can even find you a suitor to speed along the process.”

“No!” she gasped in panic.

“This is settled, everyone. If we change it, we look like fools. Now, Rae, Link, get out there and share a dance. There’s no negotiating. The second bell is about to ring. Go.”

Link reached out and grabbed Zelda’s hand, his mouth open to speak. Not a second later, his mother walked between them and broke his hold. “Go, Link.”

Zelda felt a hand on her shoulder as everyone sulked out of the room.

“I have always told you to guard your heart carefully. This is why, Zelda.” Her father pulled her close for a hug, but she couldn’t bring herself to return it. “I wish neither of you had to do this, but you’re royals. I made the sacrifice. Your mother, too. We all did.”

“I don’t feel well. I’d like to go to my room.”

His grasp on her shoulder tightened. “We will watch their dance together, and then you may go. But you need to see. This is inevitable.”

“Please, don’t make me.”

“Come.”

Zelda felt dizzy as she watched Rae and Link, and it was not the same kind that she’d felt while she was up there spinning with him. And while they clearly knew each step—another blatantly obvious sign that Zelda should have picked up on—they were simply going through the motions. Zelda smirked ruefully. They were doing a good job of making others feel uncomfortable watching their forced moment, if nothing else.

The moment the dance was over, Zelda pulled herself free of her father and left the ballroom, hurrying upstairs to her chambers.

Slamming the door and throwing the mask to the ground, Zelda peeled the dress off of her and kicked her shoes off her feet and into a wall before crawling under the blanket and letting herself feel her frustrated tears.

If she hadn’t snuck out yesterday… if she hadn’t crashed into Link today… none of this would be happening. Rae and Link would have met as true strangers, and Zelda wouldn’t feel anything.

The knock at her door made her wish she’d locked it before crashing into her bed, because when Rae pushed the door open, Zelda didn’t want to talk.

Rae took in the shoes across the room, the dress fanned out on the floor, the discarded mask. She took off her own and set it on the desk before crawling into the bed behind Zelda, pushing her own red dress out of the way.

“We’ll figure something out.”

Zelda shook her head, resolving herself to watching Link with her sister every day for the rest of their lives.

“Zelda, please.”

“I can’t. Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Rae said, getting up. “You know where to find me.”

After a long time alone with her thoughts, Zelda slid out of bed and glanced out at the night sky. It was past midnight.

With renewed energy, she cleaned her room, setting the dress aside for her ladies in the morning with the shoes nearly beside the chair and set her mask on it. Then, she dressed in something simple: some pants and a loose shirt. She slid into far more comfortable flat shoes and made for the gardens.

But before she knew it, she’d taken a wrong turn and her feet unwittingly brought her to the guest wing instead.

She’d known which rooms were designated for the Prince and for the Queen and for their staff. She’d helped pick them out with Rae. So it didn’t surprise Zelda to find herself in front of Link’s room. What did surprise her was finding her hand raised, ready to knock.

“Stupid,” she muttered, lowering her hand.

And the door opened.

Zelda stared at Link in surprise, wondering if she had accidently knocked without realizing it.

“Zelda?” he gasped in surprise. “Are you alright?”

She looked at him. He was dressed in more casual clothes as well, shoes on, ready to leave for somewhere.

“I was headed to the garden and… I don’t know… I ended up coming here instead.”

“I was headed to the garden as well.”

She suddenly didn’t want to go. “Do you have a moment before you do?” she asked, making it clear that she was no longer going.

“Yes, of course,” he said, stepping aside.

She walked into his room as if she’d never been inside. Something about him being in there had changed the way the room felt. His own things were hung over a room dividing panel, his bags opened and his clothes scattered around, likely him looking for something to wear outside in a hurry. His crown neatly on a dresser.

“Sorry,” he said hastily, throwing his things back into the bag. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize.”

Zelda took a deep breath. “I just wanted to tell you about Rae. Things she’ll never tell you herself.”

“Zelda, don’t.”

“She’s a beautiful person. Everything about her is good, but she’s mischievous. She helped me sneak out the other day, so she likes that sort of thing.”

“Zelda… please…”

“And she’s stubborn. She can hold a grudge when she wants to. But there’s a really simple way around that if you don’t want to stay mad at her. Just give her a gift. Any thoughtful gift, and she’s over it almost immediately. She would never say she likes receiving presents, but she does.”

“Stop, Zelda.”

“You should get her a flower. She loves flowers, especially amaranth. The purple are her favorite. That’s not the flower I’d pick, but it’s her favorite.”

“What’s yours?”

Zelda stopped. “My… what?”

“Favorite flower? You said that’s not the flower you’d pick. What would you pick?”

“I’m not telling you that,” she said, starting to pace.

“A daisy? Violets? Saffina? Maybe you’re a nightshade person. Lillies? Sunflowers?”

“Silent princesses,” she snapped, spinning on him. She rolled her eyes at his smug expression. “Don’t look at me like that. Just get my sister some flowers tomorrow.”

“You came here to tell me that?”

Zelda’s throat tightened. “I’m going to do everything I can to make sure my sister has the best life she can. And if that means telling you the things she loves, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“You’re not going to fight this, then?”

Zelda sniffled once, hoping Link didn’t catch it. “I love my sister more than anything. She’s the world to me. And I’ll choose her over myself every time. Her happiness is what’s important to me now. Do you know where to find amaranths?”

“I do.”

“Good, so then you’ll want to—”

“Please,” he said, finally grabbing her. “Stop.”

Zelda sniffled again and turned to him, sagging in defeat.

“We can work on them. Your father, my mother, we can.”

“My father will never agree. He doesn’t change his mind. Whether that’s pride or stubbornness, I don’t know. But he will not change his mind on this just because we ask. He’ll double down harder. He made me watch you two dance. He’ll do worse until this is not a topic of discussion anymore.” Finally, a tear fell. “You were perfect, you know?”

With slow, deliberate movements, Link went to take her arm, then her other, then slowly pulled her to him and wrapped her in his arms. “So were you.”

Gesturing vaguely to his window, Zelda chuckled before she returned his embrace, tightly holding on. “You told me you’d tell me all your secrets if we ran into each other ‘tomorrow’. It’s tomorrow and I think I know them all. You’re a man of your word, Link.”

“I have plenty still to share,” he whispered before pulling away. “Come to Faron with me. My father might be able to help us.”

“No,” she said, cupping the back of his neck. “No, my sister needs this. She’s oldest, it has to be her.”

“She won’t be happy with someone who is constantly thinking about her sister.”

“What would you have done if I wasn’t her sister?”

“I wouldn’t have to know that you’re right there. I would have thought about you. I would have wished she was you. But she wouldn’t know that. It wouldn’t have been fair to her, but she’d never know, and I’d do my best to be sure of that. But Rae already knows, and she will always know. And you and I will always know. And everyone will know.”

Zelda shook her head. “Get her flowers. She’ll forget.”

“Zelda, please.”

She sat down on the bed, bouncing until she’d stopped and covered her face with her hands. “I’ve known you for two days. Why is this difficult?”

“Because it moved fast, and we fell hard.” When Zelda looked up at him, he shrugged. “You’re not the only one who felt it, Zelda. If you’d given me one more day, I juat might have been in love.”

They both chuckled, though it was laced with bitterness.

“Tell me something,” Zelda said, patting the spot beside her. “Anything.”

“Hrmm,” he hummed, turning closer to her. “I didn’t lie when I said I was a knight. Technically, I’m the commander of the army. I trained as a child, and my father prematurely passed the role to me when he got sick. So, I am a knight. And a good one at that.”

“Humble too,” she laughed.

She stayed all night, sitting on his bed against her better judgement, telling just as many stories as they had that first day together. This time, they weren’t laced with secrets. When talking about where he lived, he didn’t hesitate to say castle. When she mentioned her hobbies, she didn’t dance around how her hobbies affected the image of the crown.

And when the light from the window reached their faces, causing Zelda to blink awake, she realized she’d stayed all night against her better judgement. She was curled into him, and his face was pressed into her hair. One of his arms was under his pillow, and the other was draped over her. She was grateful for the weather, because neither was under a blanket.

She stretched out, and Link rolled off of her, yawning. He glanced at the window. “The servants will be here soon.”

Then he sat straight up, so fast it frightened Zelda.

Link looked between Zelda and the window. “The servants will be here soon. You have to go.”

In her room, the servants arriving to straighten her room and help her get ready for the day was simply another way to tell time. It meant it was seven in the morning, and the unfortunate time that they deemed she start her day. But here, it meant that she’d be caught.

Zelda looked around. She had lightly kicked her shoes off at some point and found them just under the bed. Sliding them on, she turned back to Link. She didn’t want to leave him. Not really.

Not at all.

“This was so bad,” she muttered, realizing her resolve to let things be was breaking.

“I know. We’ll figure it all out later. I promise.”

Zelda groaned at the thought that she’d have to see him again… every day. This would be a chronic pain in her chest, and she just needed to get used to it now.

She nodded and peeked her head through the door before scurrying back to her room.

She was there long enough to duck under the blankets when her door opened again.

“My Lady?” one of the servants asked. “My Lady, there’s a problem. Wake up.”

Zelda shot up. “What?”

Less than ten minutes later, everyone was gathered in the sitting room, Link and his mother included. Everyone except Rae. The King read the letter aloud for the sixth time. It was short and to the point, and very Rae.

Father, if you’re reading this, then I am gone. I left in the night with my lady, and I do not plan to return until you publicly reverse my place with Zelda, as we spoke of last night. This is a small favor that you will not grant. She is a Princess of Hyrule. There is no need for this. I know that forcing your hand is the least honorable option, but I love my sister more than I fear the repercussions of my actions. You will not find me, as I don’t even know where we’re going. And if you want me to return, you know what to do.

Love, Rae.

“Stubborn girl,” the King muttered, crumbling the letter once again before unfolding it and smoothing it out. And he spun to Zelda, who sat far from Link. “What is this coup?”

“Coup?” Zelda repeated, confused. “I had nothing to do with this. My sister just left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye! I’m upset! I want her back!”

“Where would she go?”

“Nowhere! She’s lucky she got out of the palace with how many people watch her constantly.”

“Link, darling,” the Queen said, touching her son’s arm to get his attention. “Lead your knights to find your betrothed. Bring her back safely.”

Link glanced at Zelda. “Where should I start? I don’t know Hyrule.”

“She doesn’t want to be found. I don’t know where to start.”

In truth, she had an idea. And it was only when everyone had been dismissed that Zelda snuck away and ducked into a hidden room in the attics of the castle and saw Rae with her most trusted Lady both nose-first in a book.

“That didn’t take you long at all,” Rae scoffed, impressed.

Zelda sat down beside her. “It was a good guess. You don’t know Hyrule well enough, but you know this castle.”

“And you know me.”

“All a circle.”

“Don’t you dare tell Father,” Rae said, threatening Zelda with the book in her hand. “I am staying here until he breaks. You know I’m safe. Just let this happen. I’ve got your back.”

“This is all so crazy.”

“I know. Of the two of us, I thought I’d be the one to find love at first sight. Not you. You’re so… practical.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Zelda muttered.

“It’s called ‘falling in love’, not ‘instantaneously in love’, Zelda. It’s a process, and you’ve already started it with him. Not me.”

Zelda rolled her eyes.

Rae nudged Zelda. “Where were you last night? I went to say goodbye.”

Burying her head in her lap, Zelda groaned. “I didn’t mean to! I went to encourage him to be with you, and then we were talking, and then I fell asleep.”

“Process.”

Zelda kicked at Rae’s leg. “He’s going out to look for you, you know.”

“Give it a few days. Our father will crack, okay?”

“You’re going to be in so much trouble. I can’t wait.”

“Shut up.”

And as the days passed, the King grew more worried, more nervous. He paced, he snapped, he commanded every soldier to go out and find his daughter.

Zelda spent some time with Rae, sharing how Link was suspicious of Zelda. He knew she was hiding something. And Rae’s eyebrows wriggled and dared Zelda to tell him, to see where he really stood in the scheme of it all.

And while Link had spent most of his days out riding, looking for Rae, he spent nights in the sitting rooms with Zelda. Neither wanted to take the risk of falling asleep or being caught, especially not now, but he’d figured Zelda out well enough to know something was odd about her perky demeanor most nights.

When she told him where Rae was, he sagged in relief.

“I thought you were in denial or something. You were so calm. You need a more convincing expression if this is going to work.”

A week passed, and Zelda had perfected the art of crying on command. Often, she let the waterworks flow at any mention of Rae’s name. But she had the feeling that her father was too upset to notice or care if she’d begun to spend more time with Link in public. Occasionally, it was under the guise of him comforting her.

But Zelda also had the feeling that his mother, who had no sentimental attachment to Rae, was seeing through their ruse far more than her father was.

A week and a half had him practically bedridden with grief in the belief that she’d been killed and would never be found.

Zelda passed a note along to her father from Rae, dropping it for a servant to find. It made its way to her father, assuring her of her safety and her resolve to stay hidden.

And it was then that he gave in.

When the announcement had been made, Rae returned to her father with a smug smile on her face. And he’d been so overjoyed to see her that he hadn’t remembered to indefinitely confine her to her room until several hours after her return.

That night, Zelda knocked on Rae’s door, Link in tow. Rae answered surprised, but not entirely. Her eyes lingered on their joined hands.

“I wanted to thank you for all that you’ve done,” he said.

“We make sacrifices in this family,” Rae chuckled.

Zelda let go of Link to hug her sister. “You know, if this hadn’t worked, Link and I only got closer while you were gone.”

“Because you found me ten minutes after I ran away! You knew I was safe, so you didn’t mind flirting with him!”

“I was not!”

“You were,” Link laughed. “You gave yourself away to me.”

“Because you already know me fairly well. You know I love my sister.”

And soon, plans were made for Link and Zelda’s wedding. They were allowed a long engagement, but once the planning had been done, Link’s mother went back to Faron while Link stayed behind.

Zelda and Rae snuck out still, though it was aided by Link often. He was especially good at causing distractions.

After a year in Hyrule, Link knew the palace well, and he knew the kingdom as well. But Zelda was the younger Princess, and heir to nothing. It meant that they’d be moving to Faron. When the day came, halfway through their engagement, there were no tears, as Rae made the trip with them for a stay.

Link had been quite right: trees. Faron was full of trees.

He spent the first week alternating between giving them tours of his home, which was considerably smaller than the palace in Hyrule, and his favorite places in Faron. Sometimes, Rae tagged along, but she often opted to give them some privacy.

When the day came that her stay was over and she was to return to Hyrule, there most assuredly were tears. Zelda cried well into the night, realizing that for the first time in her whole life, she was away from her sister, her family, the people she’d grown up around.

Link had pulled her from bed that night, dragging her with him to a secret passage that led out of the castle and into town, much like the ones she knew back home had.

She kissed Link under the stars and beneath the trees. And that was when she realized that she might just have someone who was becoming her family as well.

Their moment was cut short by the rustling in the bushes of the forest, and they hurried back inside. It marked the first night that Zelda almost entirely stopped sleeping in her own room.

A few months later, Zelda was sitting with the Queen for one of her lessons about Faron when Link came in. “I’m sorry to intrude,” he said, though he didn’t look sorry at all. “I got you a surprise, and it’s just arrived.”

He held out his hand for Zelda, and she eagerly took it.

Thankfully. Because if she didn’t have it, she might have fallen over when Rae was standing in the middle of the room, arms wide and excited.

This happened from time to time over the next year. She and Link made trips to Hyrule, and Rae made trips to Faron.

This happened until the day of the wedding, two years after they’d met.

There were to be two ceremonies: one in Hyrule, and one in Faron. For the Hylian ceremony, they were married in the great ballroom, and danced until the sun rose. Then, when they’d returned, they had their masks brought out and hung the floral archway that they stood under in a more private, legally binding ceremony that offered her citizenship of Faron so she could officially rule with Link one day.

And that night, they lazed in bed, reliving the day they met, and the ball they anguished over.

“I got you a few things as well,” Link said, kissing her as he sat up. “First is in the other room.”

“It’s not my sister, right?” she joked, looking at what she was wearing. Link’s shirt wasn’t quite what she thought her sister would want to see her in.

“No. You’re good.”

She laughed and skirted past the armor and sword she’d gotten Link. Armor that he’d been drooling over for weeks and a sword that he hadn’t stopped talking about having for months. Something about it being blue had him all excited, and the wings on the hilt had him practically crying with joy.

Which was how Zelda felt when she saw a potted flower, a Silent Princess.

Link came up behind her. “Like it?”

“It’s beautiful, but you know it’ll die here.”

“Not this one. It has been fine for a few weeks. I wanted to make sure.” He led her closer and pointed to a small green sprout. “And another is on it’s way.”

“How?” Zelda gasped, her hand hovering over the perfect petals.

“It’s one of my secrets you still have to uncover.” He grinned and it earned him a playful backhand on the shoulder. “And the other gift is a promise. More than our vows, obviously. But I spoke to Rae, and she’s going to give us a new wing in the palace so we can stay longer. And there’s an open invitation. We don’t need to send word ahead. Not that that was ever an issue before, but still.”

“You go through a lot of effort for me, Link.”

“Well, I love you, so…”

She grinned. “I know you would rather be here, and you give up a lot of time so I can go back. Thank you.”

“You’re Princess Zelda of Hyrule and Faron. You should go home often still.”

Zelda pulled Link to her, kissing him softly. “I am home. Here.”

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on hers. “I’m glad I crashed into you.”

“And I’m glad I knocked you over the next day.”

“I’m glad your sister didn’t listen to you.”

Zelda rolled her eyes. “Maybe I should go back to Hyrule,” she joked.

He grabbed her waist. “But Zelda, you might be a Princess, but you’re my Queen.”

“Oh, Goddess,” she snorted pushing him away as she laughed. “Get away from me, Link.”

“No.”

“Yes, get away. That was so bad I can’t even be near you.”

He grabbed her again, leading her back into the other room before kissing her again. She melted into it before remembering that she was trying to win something.

“There’s no living with you, Link,” she laughed before giving up and just kissing him back.

But this time, he pulled away. “I’m also glad you didn’t listen to yourself two years ago.”

“Because I can’t live without you and vice versa?”

Link rolled his eyes. “You say that with such conviction.”

Zelda laughed, pulling him down with her onto the bed.

Zelda was never good at keeping track of time. So for Zelda to be acutely aware of every second that passed, intent on drawing them all out as long as she could, it was a miracle. She didn’t intend to lose even a second of this time with Link, even knowing that now, they had forever.

[technobladetimestamps]

Nov 16 Stream Timestamps

Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”

Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x

Timestamps with hyperlinks below

02:13  “This is a surprise tool which will help us later�� / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17  “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50  “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23  “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47  “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54  “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07  “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33  vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45  “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31  explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03  nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54  “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50  Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21  “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01  “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45  joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53  Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields   43:13  vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03  angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13  “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25  “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09  recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58  putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47  can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50  having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57  vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02  “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38  “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18  “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35  Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29  Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07  “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57  Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50  Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49  Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30  vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40  “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41  no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31  battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27  killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57  Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08  vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42  “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57  Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06  Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20  “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20  Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23 ��Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11  “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09  post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50  “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51  “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06  Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30  “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16  the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37  “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24  Greek mythology 2:41:45  The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02  Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08  “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06  “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23  Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11  turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34  vc with Philza 3:07:00  spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06  smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32  killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00  vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18  “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51  “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47  “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” /  “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47  “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg /  emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57  “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04  armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11  the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14  “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09  “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34  “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10  “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10  “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00  1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30  “What the heck is Phil watching”

[hopefulstarfire]

Watta Plays: Dragon Quest Starter Sentences

So. One of my best friends has his own YouTube channel. And to show my support and to get his channel out there because if anyone deserves a spotlight, it's him, I figured why not bring in some highlights as sentence starters for people? Useable for writing prompts and rp purposes! Please feel free to reblog, change pronouns as needed and please go check out my buddy Watta Plays!

This may/will contain spoilers from Dragon Quest XI S. This post also covers quotes from episodes 1-12 of the playthrough.

"Oh, that's not odd."

"Oh, okay! Okay! Just a couple of Headless Horsemen! Nothing to be afraid of, nothing to worry about, just....oh boy."

"Hey, isn't that the guy from Smash Bros?"

"You're not nearly as important as that doggo, I am so sorry."

"That doggo requires my attention."

"I'm gonna love it here. I'm home."

"You made me talk to you for irrelevant information. You're first on The List."

"Aw, come on! They're not monsters! They're just...little blobs of joy and happiness!"

"Ah, medicinal -- medicinal herbs -- right, yeah. Yes, yes, medicinal. Strictly medicinal purposes, those herbs. Yes. Understood. Understandable. Have a nice day."

"You're uh...you're not the strongest fighter...are you."

"Is this town just a cult?"

"This music tells me Boss Fight."

"Oh this is some Sly Cooper shit right here."

"This music is giving me some anxiety."

"No, no, no we're going to worry about that now! What the hell was that? No, no, we're not going to wait until later. You tell me what that is, you tell me what that is right now!"

"(Name)? (Name)! You can't leave me like that!"

"There was no Christopher Columbus. He was a lie. A big fat phony."

"Excuse the what now?"

"I know I've been making a lot of Zelda references, but..."

"This isn't gonna be like Kingdom Hearts, where I take a ride to the island and I never see or hear from you again, right?"

"This is triggering a lot of my danger alarms."

"You know my memory is as foggy as those wind spirits up there."

"Let me get this straight. You tell me not to spend it all in one place, and direct me to the exact place in which I can spend it all in one place?"

"So I have to confess my sins to save the game."

"Can we go back to the part where you found me in a river??"

"Aw, sweetie. I've already forgotten you."

"I certainly hope I don't end up regretting that."

"What's so great about the pendant?"

"They've got four chandeliers and a balcony. If that's not fancy, I don't know what is."

"Oh, I already don't like you, friend."

"Why do I have a feeling he's going to slaughter everyone there?"

"Making a racket WILL help me!"

"You're gonna free me, right? You're not gonna kill me, yeah??"

"How long were you in there to dig that big of a hole?"

"Guess I should have accepted those quests before I became public enemy number one."

"Where the hell is that organ music coming from?"

"The rule of three doesn't matter here, don't give me a rule of three!"

"I don't wanna be Kentucky Fried Hero!"

"I would rather not be impaled today, thank you."

"I can't go back to the slammer! I did my time! ...Except that I didn't do my time."

"I think your brain map is kind of out of date."

"Can you just carry me? I need you to carry me."

"Damn, those archers scare the shit out of me."

"Famous last words; I'm gonna be fine."

"I thought it was gonna be a little secret chest alcove, I didn't think he was gonna be there!"

"You said you got jailed a year ago, do you think it's still there?"

"I bet you there's some regret in there."

"So guard boy likes money...oh, and hot singles in your area."

"I still don't trust him. Never trust a merchant. Then again, never trust big money."

"Why are appearing everywhere I go?? And in the most random places?"

"His eyes follow me. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. I'm getting out of here, I'm not dealing with that."

"Welp, I guess we're heading out at night. That's a spooky thought."

"Now I'm really gonna wish I had that sword."

"It's fine! Kid's not dead! All is good!"

"It's the hot single in our area!"

"Alright, you and me, (name), against the world! Or, rather...against...the government?"

"Oh God, what the hell are you!?"

"I hope that's not gonna come back to bite me in the ass."

"Screw it! Screw it! We'll just fight everything not super dangerous along the way!"

"I don't wanna risk him living to see another day."

"Discount goods??? Discount goods!!!"

"Oh, get a little pep in your step, buddy!"

"The pep is real!!"

"Don't antagonize them! You, like -- you almost died!!"

"What are these little goblinoid things??"

"It's hideous! But...yet...I'm intrigued."

"That's definitely not a good thing, but goddamn if it isn't funny."

"Everything went perfectly, according to plan! Everything!"

"Poor lumberjack doggo."

"Oh, WE'RE the cheeky devils??"

"OKAY, so he's got multi target attacks and he uses fire! Good to know, good to know."

"He'll die by my hand!! MY HAND!!"

"Is that a cow?? What's a cow doing here???"

"TALKING COW! TALKING COW! WHAT THE HELL!? TALKING COW!?"

"Also money. Don't forget money. I would like some money."

"Yeah, I know, my hair is marvelous and magnificent."

"I mean, I'm fine with it if you wanna stay here and praise me for the ends of all eternity. I'm perfectly fine with that."

"O, great angel of the church, I murdered a man today."

"I murdered a demon in cold blood. That's probably a good thing. That's probably what God would want me to do but, you know."

"I'm about to make pulled pork outta these guys."

"Everything's fine. Nobody's dead today."

"Holy shit, did I travel back in time!?"

"I was joking when I said I'd forget about you guys!"

"I don't think I need to confess my sins this time."

"Yeah, I joked about it a lot, so maybe that why it hurts, but..."

"Third rule of RPGs: always check behind the waterfalls."

"You'd think that living this close to a river, or to a lake or something, they would have taught you how to swim."

"Sorry (name), we're gonna leave you in my dust."

"I don't wanna have to look up a guide for something this stupid."

"Holy shit, I'M the heir to the throne!?"

"But, (name), grudges are the best things to bear! It's so fun to bear a grudge!"

"I need revenge, man."

"When you say rightfully yours...you mean that you rightfully stole it."

"Let's teach those assholes a lesson!"

"What a perfect time to raid a government facility for an item that was once stolen, that we're now stealing again."

"You're gonna carry me through this dungeon, right?"

"Oh, it's just a corpse."

"Oh, you're not tricky devils. You're just little devils."

"I don't know what that is, but I gotta fight it."

"How deep does this thing go?? It's like a fucking pyramid in here."

"Hell yeah! We're not dying today, boyos!!"

"He's actually rabid, oh no."

"Kinda unfortunate, but, I mean, I'll take it."

"That wad quite a teleport, young man."

"I have stolen his secret stash!!"

"I don't know if my heart can handle another chase scene!"

"Why are they hiding a dragon under the capital? Like, seriously?"

"Hello, snail!"

"This party is an equal opportunity provider."

"Come down here so I can smack ya ass."

"You're not Minotaur Man! You're an imposter!"

"This is a bar. I don't think this is where I'm supposed to be."

"That's why they sound so weird! They're speaking in haiku!"

"This dude has seen some shit."

"I'm ready for my indoctrination, Mr. Cult Leader."

[poppy-pelican]

But I Want It Anyway (fic)

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Summary: “Yes. I don’t want just any baby. I want yours.”

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25541878

“He can’t possibly be serious!” Riza said, reading over the letter Mustang dropped on her desk. They had been working in Ishval for just six months—now wasn’t the time to go gallivanting north to Briggs of all places.

“Oh, he’s serious. Threatened to reassign you to Central if we didn’t both leave by the end of the week,” Mustang said, leaning on her desk.

“Central might be better than a cross country trip just to ‘see how the people are doing’ at Briggs,” she said under her breath.

Mustang tutted at her. “Really? You would abandon me just to avoid a road trip?”

Riza quirked an eyebrow. “To Briggs, General. I’d rather walk across the desert to Xing. Barefoot.”

He laughed then, and she knew he agreed with her. Falman seemed to like it up there, and a visit with him would be a nice bonus, but it was still cold, far away, and unnecessary.

“Grumman must want eyes he can trust in Briggs—or some other secret objective he refuses to tell us.”

Riza had an idea of a possible secret objective, and it’s why she considered calling her grandfather’s bluff on his threat to reassign her. He even requested she stop in Central to check in with him.

Very suspicious.

“Some secret objective,” she tapped her chin. “I’ll try and weasel it out of him when we get to Central.”

“I’m sure you’ll have better luck than I would,” Mustang said, shaking his head. “I guess I better go let the team know. You want to start working on a plan for the interim?”

She agreed, saluting as he left. There was a lot to finish before they could depart, but she picked up her pen and went over the letter closer, decoding it. While Riza trusted Mustang, her grandfather was an eccentric, nosy old man, and he liked to add messages in code whenever he sent something to the new general—knowing he would pass on the letters to his adjutant. Riza would have happily shared them with Mustang if the messages weren’t so embarrassing. The last one had congratulated the “most beautiful captain in the military” on her promotion.

She cursed under her breath as she finally unscrambled the message: I want some grandkids.

Sometimes she wished she could snap her fingers and burn something.

 *

 Roy found Havoc up to his armpits in the water of a newly constructed canal. The team was overseeing the project, the idea being to restore infrastructure so the rebuilding of Ishval would be running smoothly before long. Breda and a couple of their Ishvalan recruits were in the water with him, diving periodically.

“Shit! General!” Havoc stuttered, standing at attention. The soldiers gave clumsy, wet salutes, all of them looking sheepish.

“Going for a swim?” Roy asked, baiting them.

“Well. Havoc lost his wedding ring, sir. This is life or death,” Breda explained.

Roy snorted. “Rebecca will kill him.”

“Hey!” Havoc yelled. The Ishvalans laughed.

“I can’t lose one of my men over something so frivolous,” Roy drawled. If not for the presence of the Ishvalans, and their discomfort with alchemy, Roy would use a quick clap to search for the ring. Instead, like the others had, he stripped down to just his undershorts and jumped in.

“Oh, this is nice,” Roy said, surprised. It was technically autumn, but Ishval was still oppressively hot. The water was cool without being freezing. He was beginning to see why it was taking the men so long to find the ring. No rush when it felt so good.

“A bit of moisture can be good for you now and then,” Havoc teased.

“Shut up, I used to be blind. You’ll want my skills for finding this ring you stupidly lost.”

“Sorry, sir,” Havoc said, disappearing under the water again.

Roy took a turn, sliding his hands along the floor of the canal until he had to come up for air. It was too late in the evening for there to be enough light to see the ring.

“You have to face the truth, Havoc,” Roy said, slicking his hair out of his eyes. “Your child is going to grow up parentless. Rebecca will kill you. And then I’ll have to imprison her for homicide.”

Havoc splashed him, but he got a big laugh from Breda and the others. Rebecca had been an especially moody pregnant person, from what Roy had seen. Hawkeye doted on her even more than Havoc did. On one of Rebecca’s visits to the office Roy found her with her feet up on Hawkeye’s desk and Hawkeye feeding her some of her secret stash of chocolate. Not so secret, really, given that Roy had already discovered it, but he wouldn’t point that out.

Finally, the wedding ring was found by Breda, who demanded Havoc get it resized to prevent this from happening again.

They all crawled out of the canal, sopping wet and high-fiving one another. Of course, that was when Hawkeye appeared, while they were all still soggy and laughing. And mostly naked.

Roy expected some teasing about slacking off or their state of undress, but instead she averted her eyes.

“I finished a rough plan for our absence,” she said, gesturing to a file in her hand. “I guess it can wait until you are dry. I can see you were all…busy. I’ll just leave it on your desk, General.”

He sighed. He should’ve known she’d excuse herself. She was the epitome of professional. He wondered if she would’ve helped search for the ring in full uniform.

“Absence?” Breda asked. “Who’s leaving?”

Roy explained the fuhrer’s orders, and his men were as baffled as he and Hawkeye. No one could guess what went on in Grumman’s crafty old mind.

“I hope Hawkeye makes it back before the baby is due,” Havoc said. “Rebecca will miss her.”

“I think it shouldn’t take that long,” Roy said. “We might have to avoid the train and take a car—” too many tracks still out from the Promised Day, “—but even then, with Hawkeye planning our route, we’ll be back with time to spare. She won’t want to miss being there for Rebecca.”

Havoc grinned mischievously. “I don’t know, maybe you two should…take your time, if you know what I mean.”

Roy shrugged his shoulders, accustomed to this kind of teasing. Hawkeye had never given him any signal she wanted to be intimate with him—probably because of the anti-fraternization laws. If she gave even a hint that she wanted him…That would be different. He’d schedule in a year at Briggs if it meant having her in his bed.

*

Riza was reluctant to visit her grandfather after his strange mission assignment, but after six months in Ishval, she also wanted to see how he was doing in office. And there was his personal assistant who made the best lemon tea in Amestris. Riza was convinced he added a shot of whiskey or something into it because it never failed to relax her during her visits.

Through her letters, her grandfather was already up to date on Ishval’s status, so he pried into her personal life over tea.

“I’ve been helping Rebecca set up a nursery.” Baby Havoc was due in just two months. A surprise pregnancy. It had been a hurried, shotgun wedding, but Rebecca and Havoc were blissfully happy, even with him stationed in Ishval. Rebecca had retired from the military so she could follow him. It meant Riza had her best friend nearby—and a willing dog sitter. When the time came, Riza would return the favor as an honorary aunt and spoil the little one.

“Is she enjoying her pregnancy?” Grumman asked.

“As much as she can, I think. She complains, but I know she’s thrilled.”

“Ah, yes. She was always family-minded, wasn’t she?” Her grandfather’s eyes twinkled.

“Yes, always husband hunting,” Riza said slowly, feeling like she was about to step on a hidden landmine.

“What about you?” he asked, attempting nonchalance. “Any interest in a husband?”

“Ha, no,” she said firmly. What she had with Mustang would have to be enough for now. If he ever asked for more, then maybe…

“What about babies? A husband isn’t necessarily a requirement, but they help. Wouldn’t you like Catalina’s baby to have a friend?”

And there was the landmine, blowing up in her face. She never expected the painful, almost instinctual longing that erupted with it. She pictured a chubby little baby with black, messy hair and brown eyes. The vision was there before she could stomp it out, and stomp on it she did, hard.

“Some day.” She couldn’t lie.

“When?” he chuckled, refilling her tea. “You want to be my age when your kid is a teenager? I don’t recommend it.”

“Well—"

“I’m not trying to be a nosy old man. This time,” he amended. “I just know it’s easy to put these things off, expecting the perfect moment to appear. It won’t. It might sneak up on you like it did our dear Miss Catalina—now Mrs. Havoc. Or it could pass you by entirely.” His eyes grew soft. “I don’t want you to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want children.”

“It’s complicated,” she said sourly. He knew that.

“Then perhaps find a new man. One who is family-minded.” He sighed. “I know your father wasn’t the best example for it, but there are plenty of men who embrace parenthood—and are good fathers.”

Like Maes Hughes or Havoc. Her gut told her Mustang would be a wonderful father, and she knew he liked children from the way he interacted with Elicia. But his thoughts on becoming a father himself? It was another one of those forbidden topics between them. Something a subordinate shouldn’t ask her superior.

But her grandfather was right. She didn’t want to miss her chance.

 *

 It was Roy’s turn to drive, and an hour into it, he was already bored. There were more cows than people now that they had left the city, and it was dreadfully uninteresting. And Hawkeye had been oddly distracted ever since her visit with her grandfather the day before. She almost drove through a stop sign while leaving Central that morning, and she was unusually agreeable about letting him drive. Then there was her silence, giving minimal answers anytime he tried to engage her in conversation. Maybe she hadn’t slept well?

He was about to look and see if Hawkeye had dozed off when she broke the silence.

“Can I ask you something, sir? A…personal question?”

Roy furrowed his brow. “Go ahead.”

“You know, Rebecca being pregnant has given me…” Her voice was unusually high. “Do you think—given everything I’ve done—do I—should I even be allowed—” She huffed. “This isn’t coming out right. Let me be direct. I want a baby. I’m just not sure I deserve one. After…everything.”

Roy’s mind went blank, barely able to keep the car on the road. Then he gathered his wits to answer. “Of course you deserve a baby,” he said.

She made a skeptical noise. “I don’t know. I can’t imagine explaining to my child one day that I killed dozens of innocent people.”

Roy knew what she meant. His darkest memories, the ones he did his best to bury, were of the families he murdered in the extermination. Did he deserve to have children? Happiness? No.

But if he said that, did that mean Hawkeye didn’t deserve that either? Unbidden, an image of her with a round, smooth belly taunted him. He could see it perfectly. She’d insist on working far beyond what she should until he bullied her into putting her feet up like Maes did for Gracia. Then he pictured a little girl with dark, spiky pigtails, her eyes brown and innocent like Riza’s when she offered him the secrets of Flame Alchemy.

Then he imagined that little girl lost in flames, her eyes now an Ishvalan red.

He shuddered, his hands tight on the wheel.

But the world was different now, so he answered with the truth. “I think it’d be cruel to deprive the world of your child, Hawkeye. They will grow up in a better world than we did. It’s something…to strive toward.”

“Hmm,” Hawkeye said, but he could hear the smile in the hum.

“You never seemed the baby type before,” he said accusingly, as he spoke he realized how wrong he was. She babied her dog. Black Hayate was the only creature he’d ever seen her openly affectionate with. Hell, she mothered everyone—even Rebecca Catalina. Hawkeye hadn’t had a boyfriend in a long time, he knew. While Roy occasionally went on dates, entirely for show, Hawkeye started turning them down a few years ago—right around the time this unspoken thing between them had grown into something they couldn’t ignore yet couldn’t acknowledge. She gave him her fidelity, and he found himself returning it. He hadn’t gone home with a date in years.

Then it hit him. She—she wanted a baby. Meaning, someone needed to father this baby. And she hadn’t asked him.

“I don’t plan on having a baby anytime soon,” she said quietly, “but maybe once the groundwork in Ishval is finished…”

“That’s probably less than two years away,” he said, incredulous. Hawkeye having a baby in the far future was one thing, but in the near future...Why hadn’t he considered this before? She wasn’t much younger than he was, and all their friends were beginning to settle down and procreate. He was an idiot for expecting her to just wait around patiently until the right time for them to be together arrived. Whenever the right time would be. He thought she would let him know.

Maybe she’d realized he wasn’t worth waiting for.

“It is,” she said. “The fuhrer reminded me there’s no perfect time to have a baby, and I don’t want to put it off so long that…I miss my chance.”

“I see. Understandable.” He glowered at the road ahead. Was she breaking up with him? Not that there was anything tangible to break, but it felt like that was where the conversation was leading.

“Depending on the timing, I could even train a replacement to be your adjutant. And I’d return to the military after my maternity leave. I don’t want to retire like Rebecca did.” The idea of a substitute in Hawkeye’s place made him stupidly irritated, though not as much as the idea of having to watch her grow some other man’s baby in her belly. He wanted to burn something.

“You’ve really thought this through.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his voice. Why would she bring this up at the beginning of the trip? Did she want him to keep his distance when they were going to be in such close quarters over the next few weeks?

“I thought I might have to convince you this could work,” she said. He chanced a look, and her cheeks were a lovely pink.

“If you want to find a man to have a baby with, I won’t stop you,” he said, feeling flustered and unsure of himself. And foolishly heartbroken. It’s not like they had made promises to each other. They hadn’t said a word about their relationship. He would be an asshole if he told her no on behalf of his feelings.

“Oh. All right,” she said. He wished he wasn’t driving so he could better read her expressions.  

The car fell silent again. His boredom lost, Roy stewed over the idea that his beloved subordinate wanted a baby. With someone else.

*

Riza was an idiot. Of course Mustang didn’t want children with her. They hadn’t even kissed. It would be a big jump to go from that to making a baby, she just thought…Well. It didn’t matter.

But the idea of having a baby with someone else was abhorrent. If Mustang wasn’t the father, she didn’t want a baby at all. She stared out the window, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

She hadn’t just wanted a baby, she’d wanted his baby. That was what she hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him outright, giving him an opening for a polite rejection—which he had taken. Not once had he brought up the possibility of being the father of her hypothetical baby. He’d been all for her having one, just not with him. It felt like a slap to the face, though she knew he must have his reasons.

Whatever they were.

She suddenly flipped from sad to offended. Maybe she didn’t want the polite rejection.

“I thought you liked children,” she said, crossing her arms.

She eyed him, growing confused as he squirmed in his seat. “When did I say I didn’t like children?”

“You didn’t. I’m just trying to understand you.” She hesitated, always afraid to put things into words.

“What else do you want from me? I thought we went over it as thoroughly as we could. It’s not like you’re pregnant now.”

“What else do I want from you?” She parroted, indignant. “So you just don’t want children at all?”

“Me? Why does it matter if I want children or not? You’re the one who wants to run off and have babies.” Oh. She saw it then, the slump in his shoulders, the clenched jaw. Her superior, the smartest, dumbest man she knew.

“I think you’ve misunderstood, sir.” She paused for a beat. “Roy,” she said, his name soft and shy on her lips. She put her hand on his shoulder.

“Please enlighten me,” he demanded hoarsely. Oh no. She’d hurt him. She rushed to correct him.

“I was inarticulately asking if you wanted to have a baby with me.” Her sweater suddenly felt stiflingly hot. The question was out there, no takebacks, no polite rejection.

“Ah, yes. I misunderstood,” he said, sounding strangled. She sighed, pulling her hand back. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked while he was driving. Or sober. Maybe she should have started smaller—proposed an affair while they were away. That would’ve been less shocking. No, she’d skipped several steps and went straight for the long-term commitment.

He let the car slow to a creep, then pulled over underneath a lone tree in the grass. There was nothing but pasture for miles. At least it was a pretty spot for her superior to lose his mind. Her heart thundered in her chest, even as she kept her expression patiently neutral. She straightened the hem of her skirt.

“Do you know what you’re asking, Hawkeye?” He still wouldn’t face her, staring resolutely ahead.

“I believe I made a lot of points proving I do,” she said stiffly.

He looked at her then, dark eyes filled with want. In return, her belly knotted with desire. She had seen that expression a few times when they were alone and no one else could witness it. He would look her over until she was too tempted to endure it any longer. She either averted her eyes or excused herself. There had never been anything they could do about it before. Even now, he was still her superior. She just didn’t care anymore.

“It means you want me inside you,” he whispered, leaning toward her, his larger frame invading the small space of the front seat. Her breath caught in her throat. “You’re asking me to come in you as many times as it takes to get you pregnant.” Her whole body tightened as his words sank in. Explicit words. Nothing could be playfully misinterpreted now. “Are you okay with that?”

She took in an unsteady breath, holding his gaze. “Yes. I don’t want just any baby. I want yours.”

He groaned before launching himself past the last few inches of space between them. His mouth crashed into hers, arms snaking around her waist, whisking her into his lap. He devoured her, tongue seeking and stroking, sending shockwaves down to her toes.

There had been a reason she had not so much as kissed him before. Once she started…she knew she’d never be able to give him up. His hands slipped under her sweater, which he swiftly removed. Then his mouth was back on hers, and she moaned as he groped her breasts, shoving her bra callously out of the way so he could cup them fully. It was like he couldn’t get to her skin fast enough.

Realizing he was dominating the moment, she adjusted her body to straddle him, grinding down on his erection, desperate for friction. With the skirt flared over her thighs, the thin material of her underwear did little to muffle the sensations of pressing into him.

“God, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he gasped, his hips thrusting up to meet hers.

“Me too.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“But then we can’t work together anymore,” she said, giving up kissing to nibble on his neck instead. She wanted to work as his adjutant as long as she could.

“No one has to know.” He tilted her back until he could dip his head down to wrap his lips around her breast, knocking most of her reasoning for why this was a bad idea out of her head. It was actually a very, very good idea. “We’ve kept secrets bigger than this. And like you said, it’s not like you’re going to get pregnant right now.”

She whimpered.

“Rushing into that would be a bad idea.” His words were teasing as his fingers traveled down her side and under her skirt, pushing her underwear out of the way. She was slick and hot with desire, and she dug her hands into his shoulders, holding onto him as he eased two fingers inside her, his thumb working her clit rhythmically.

She sighed, leaning forward to capture his mouth again, though it made it more challenging for him to maneuver his fingers. She shifted higher on her knees, giving him space to move.

And oh. She clenched down on his fingers, rocking gently to stimulate that bundle of nerves that felt oh-so-good, gasping with each pulse of his hand. She was close, embarrassingly wet and ready for him.

“I want you in me,” she said, her head falling to his shoulder. Her legs trembled.

“Not yet,” he replied, sounding like he was gritting his teeth in concentration. “You first. Then I’m going to sink into you—feel you wrapped so tight around me—”

She let out a throaty whine, her whole body tensing from her breasts through her center, down to her curling toes. She clung to his neck, holding herself up on shaky legs as her release flooded through her, rippling on his fingers still buried inside her. There was a moment of perfect contentment before she began thrusting down on his fingers again.

“More,” she whispered, her mouth pressed hot against his ear, his messy hair tickling her nose. She loved how his hands became a flurry of action, undoing his belt and shoving his pants out of the way. His erection sprung up, hard and leaking.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said through his teeth, tearing her underwear in two in a feat of complete desperation. She almost laughed in shock until he rubbed the head of his length against her opening.

Instantly, she was as needy as he was again. She sank down on him slower than she wanted to, but it had been a long time, and her body stretched in an achingly good way as her core accepted him. It occurred to her then that while they had just been saying she shouldn’t get pregnant right away, they had nothing to protect against pregnancy here in the car. Oops. It was so unlike her—but so was riding her superior in a car in broad daylight. Maybe Roy’s impulsivity had made an impression on her at long last.

“Do you—do you think we could then? Have a baby?” To hell with it. “Or two?” she asked between kisses.

He moaned. “Yes. Yes, I want it so much. I don’t deserve it, but…I’m a weak man.”

She laughed softly. “I think the world deserves to have your child in it, too.” She kissed him soundly, willing all her love and devotion to reach him.

When she pulled away, he stared back at her, dazed and utterly blown away. “I must have done something right to have you by my side.”

“Or on top of you,” she said slyly, lifting her hips and sliding back down sharply.

“Damn, I really want to finish inside you,” he hissed, groping for her hips and guiding her pace as she brought him closer to orgasm.

“I want that too.” She shivered at how animalistic she was becoming. Her sensibilities flew out the window as her body’s craving for him consumed her every thought. She wanted him to fill her with every drop of come he could.

“I shouldn’t,” he said, more to himself. “But I want to,” he tugged her down onto him, hard.

“You should,” she said, then kissed him, toying with his tongue. He was so hard and stiff inside her, and her body was so, so ready. Drenched and aching for him. “It’s a bad idea but I feel like I’m going to scream if you don’t finish in me.”

He groaned miserably. “Riza. Don’t say things like that.” His thrusts grew erratic, like he was holding back.

“Roy,” she countered. “How likely is it that I’ll get pregnant from just one time?”

“Not—not very likely,” he gasped.

“I’m willing to risk it…if you are,” she said, squeezing her thighs and tightening around his cock. “I’ll do what you want me to do.”

“You mean that?”

“I do. I’ll have no regrets either way.” The frustration she’d feel at him pulling out would be…astronomical. But she didn’t want him to have regrets either.

“I love you so much,” he panted, abruptly reversing their positions so she was flat on her back, their legs crammed against the car door. Her arms went up to brace herself as he began to slam into her urgently, losing all pretense of control.

“Roy, please. Finish in me,” she murmured against his shoulder, biting down on it gently. She wanted him to remember her asking for it, so he could never doubt she wanted him again.

He buried his face in her neck, their bodies crushed together as close as humanly possible as he spilled inside her, his cock so deeply buried there was no mistaking his intentions. Her body felt hot and achy—like she would be ready for another round as soon as he was.

For now, she wanted to hold him against her half naked body, savoring the scent of his shampoo in her nose and the feel of his hips snug between her thighs.

She spent years loving him, now she wanted him.

*

Roy was reluctant to move away from the lovely heat of Riza’s body. It was only the promise of leg cramps that finally convinced him to sit up and help her find her sweater. He sighed in disappointment as she fixed her bra and tugged the sweater over her head. There was still an uncharacteristically mischievous twitch to her lips, and she openly stared as he tucked himself in and buttoned his pants. Holy hell, he wanted her again as soon as possible—in a bed, where he could stretch her out and take his time.

What a whirlwind. One minute he was convinced she was breaking up with him, the next he had bluffed his way into getting her to say the dirtiest things he’d ever heard leave her mouth. More reason to love her.

“Still no regrets, sir?” she asked, hiding her torn underwear in her purse.

“No,” he said, distracted as he considered she was now wearing nothing beneath her prim and proper skirt. He could run his hand up her thigh and feel how wet she was—coated with his release.

He cleared his throat and started the car. They needed to find an inn, and soon.

“What about you, Captain?” He watched her face carefully this time.

“Maybe it was a bit…premature to get so carried away, but no, I regret nothing.” She pressed her lips together. “Well, maybe the itinerary I made. We’re going to be late for our reservation.”

The beginnings of a new erection stirred. “The damage is done,” he said, shrugging. “We might as well take our time.” His hand slipped under her skirt, up to her inner thigh, a part of him still expecting her to smack him away.

No, she let out a breathy, pleased noise. He turned the car back off, deciding he couldn’t go on without hearing her fall apart on his hands again. Or maybe his mouth. He grinned as she willingly parted her legs.

And he’d thought he’d have to convince her. At this rate, the whole itinerary was going to need rearranged.

[malfoygrass]

Could you write about a instance where either Draco or Astoria gets jealous and how they react?

-Why Not Both-

Draco Malfoy wasn't jealous! He wasn't, really, he had a perfectly good (if vindictive and social climbing) girlfriend named Pansy and he did not envy Harry Potter one bit. Especially not for taking little Astoria Greengrass to Hogsmade for a butter beer.

Why would he care about Astoria Greengrass, really, she was a baby, fifteen to his ( and Harry's) seventeen. Cute as she was and virtually off limits thanks to her frankly scary older sister Daphne, she barely registered on his radar these days. Except Draco was lying to himself and he knew it.

Astoria was different from the other girls in her year, Draco had caught her on more than one occasion smuggling illegal herbs and flowers to and from the dungeons and she as well might have seen him do one or two things he wasn't supposed to do when the 'Potter Stink' badges were distributed. She was secretive, the little slip of a girl, with her wide blue eyes that caught any detail in peripheral vision, silky brown hair, usually braided in a different classic hairstyle each day. She had a habit of following Draco with her eyes whenever they were in the same room, daring him to approach her and find out what she knew, crack open her secrets and maybe, just maybe, make her smile or steal a kiss. Which he didn't because he wasn't aware Astoria Greengrass existed .

Maybe he was fixated on her outing with Potter because she made her make believe look so easy. Little Astoria, daughter, sister, princess. Her circle of friends played the part of a court of storybook characters, the knight, the fairy, the jester, the simpleton, the smart peasant. In her vicinity everything was pastel, everything was pleasant, people drank tea and discussed the weather, classic books and the latest magic breakthroughs. To step into her world was to allow oneself to fall for her fairytale facade where only Astoria was in control of the narrative. Manipulative minx.

How Harry Potter fell for the ladylike princess act Draco didn't know but he wasn't fooled, Astoria was anything but docile under all her social graces, she liked her narrative and wasn't above hexing others to keep her court of roses in perfect working order. In her fairytale (or what she let people believe was her fairytale) everything was perfect and all a princess needed was a prince... Hence the date with Harry Potter.

Why couldn't she have picked him? He was a better bet! Did it really have to be the stupid chosen one. He was marching over to break up the lovebirds..but no, he wasn't jealous.

---------------

Some people thought that Astoria Greengrass was above things like petty jealousy, or stealing someone else's boyfriend. She used to think so too, until she turned fifteen and Draco Malfoy began to notice her when she didn't want him to notice her.

That's when she discovered that no, she wasn't above stealing someone else's boyfriend, especially if that someone else was Pansy Parkinson.

At first Draco's meddling in her affairs had been annoying. Taking her precious Venus Faetrap back to Professor Sprouts greenhouse and subtly blackmailing her with the fact that he knew who had hexed Taylor Featherstone into keeping quiet about her stash of Larkspur and Belladonna.

She showed him she could play the same game, let him stew on his juices when he realized she'd known who was distributing anti Potter merchandise. Let him understand she wasn't to be intimidated when he caught her watching him slip a nasty potion in Collin Creevey's treacle tart. She was quiet not stupid and he wasn't all that he appeared to be either.

She didn't know when watching him had passed from a necessary evil to an entertaining pastime, but as it was, she began to learn his habits. The way he took his breakfast and which subjects he excelled at. For a Malfoy, Draco did hide alot in plain sight, like his love for sweets for example, and his perchance for illegal charms to keep himself perfectly clean and put together. Also Astoria could tell that he didn't care for Pansy, which was unfortunate since Astoria was beginning to care...for him

And she absolutely hated Pansy.

And feeling jealous was annoying, Astoria Greengrass didn't do jealousy as a rule, really, her life was perfectly put together in theory, every step planned down to the letter, plus there wasn't a chance in Hogwarts that Draco Malfoy liked her back.

It didn't mean she disliked Pansy Parkinson any less for getting to kiss Draco. The older girl was a vindictive menace, Ugh couldn't the pug faced cow tell that he didn't liked to be mauled in public?. If anything the day Astoria broke them up, she'd be doing Malfoy a favor. As soon as she figured out how to make Draco aware of the fact that she liked him she was going to push Pansy down a very deep wishing well.

But first she needed to find out if Hermione Granger liked him too. Because the rumors said she did and Astoria didn't have the heart to push HER down a well, Pansy Parkinson at least was decent competition, Hermione Granger was way above Astoria's league. It was like pitting Ron Weasley against Victor Krum.

Hence why she was making an effort to engage Harry Potter into conversation about Hermione Granger and somehow in an effort to get him alone, she'd ended up having a Hogsmade butterbeer with him.

Would her luck ever cease to amaze her?

Harry Potter tough, he was what her father would call a fixer upper. One conversation with him and Astoria was itching to take over his disastrous of life. The boy who lived needed a wardrobe overhaul, a decent magical attorney and a healthy dose of self preservation.

Oh Harry Potter was a project waiting to happen, Astoria felt her magic itching to just make his life better, cut his hair, fix his eyesight, feed him red meat.

Finally after making another subtle suggestion about a magical oculist in diagon alley she was getting ready to grill Harry on Hermione Granger when Draco flounced over like an a peacock

"Couldn't you have picked a better candidate for your new prince charming little Greengrass?" Draco sneered "this one is dead meat already, with what is coming for him"

"What did you just say big Ponce?" Harry Potter growled back "one can't even have a butterbeer in peace without you getting into one's business"

"He's not getting into your business Harry" Astoria murmured demurely but Draco saw her eyes flash in rage "he's meddling in mine, and for that I apologize"

"Astoria you are coming with me" Draco wagged a finger at Potter "I never knew the Greengrass house to consort with the rabble and you won't be starting now"

"Look who's talking, why don't you go off and suck face with Pansy" Astoria shot back "I'm sure she's thrilled anytime she gets closer to doing to you whatever dementors do with people's souls" then just to be petty she added "at least Harry Potter is pretty"

"Thanks Astoria" the clueless griffindoor mumbled just before Draco exploded "oh.. now I get it" Harry mumbled quietly to himself as he got what was happening and decided to stay out of Malfoy's lovers quarrel.

"Are blind? Out of all the people in my year you had to pick HIM? I never thought you to be a Potter fan"

"He doesn't have a girlfriend and Papa would love him, bad eyesight and all" Astoria fired mortified "And you don't get to tell me what to do, I can have as many dates as I want, kiss as many boys as I want, go cr... WHAT ARE YOU DOING" She squeaked as Draco pulled her away from her table dragged her out of The Three Broomsticks with as much force as he could

"Now listen listen to me Porcelain, jealousy does not look pretty on a face like yours, this ends now" Draco hissed as soon as they were far from onlookers "you want me to leave Pansy, fine! I will but if you ever let Potter or any boy so much as touch you again..."

"Break up with her" Astoria demanded a little out of breath trying to look him in the eye despite being so much shorter than him "break up with her and you'll be the only boy I will ever allow to touch me"

"You don't make the rules here" he was so close he could almost taste the butterbeer in her breath

"I'm not above kissing him to prove my point and you know it"

"Over my dead body, you're mine" he said just before he kissed her.

It was an impulsive kiss, hard and demanding, Astoria gave as good as she got pulling him by the lapels of his robe until she was out of breath "your jealousy will be the death of me"

----------------------

Later after trying and failing to stay away from each other during the subsequent school years, plus the battle of Hogwarts and the aftermath of it all, Draco's inability to let Astoria go and his need to stamp his ownership all over her would make itself known in the form of a particularly binding marriage contract and an over the top wedding.

Not that Astoria minded, after all...she did make him get a magical tattoo with her name in bold cursive.

[where-s-all-blue]

Self Insert AU for your chaotic crack fic needs

When you get transported into the One Piece Universe, you can't choose where you end up in nor in which time. Even your age might be jumbled up.

Depending on where you end up, your memories of your old life will disappear until the crew or group you are in is featured in canon.

If you make a joke about something, it's very likely that the universe will make it happen just to fuck you up. For reference, see C and R making up a lost island that sunk into the sea only for it to re-emergence randomly in the New World right in front of their eyes.

No matter what you do, you can't change the canon plot.

You don't have a plot armour.

Mod specific headcanons under the cut.

Onto the specific headcanons of C and R:

C

C ends up in the same town where Luffy meets Zoro, only days before it happens, hence her memories aren't that jumbled up, but she can't remember her real life friends. She pretty much joins them there and then.

C has the habit of saying cryptic things and accidentally revealing things beforehand, like when someone important is about to join the Strawhats whom she has joined. The crew thinks that she can see into the future.

She also tends to start crying when she meets people who are good but have tragic pasts. Luffy starts to use this as an indicator for people being nice.

During the timeskip, C ended up eating a devilfruit, her devilfruit was Neko Neko Mi, Model: Toyger ver Dwarf. This means that she is essentially a Toyger breed of a regular housecat, who happens to have dwarfism and thus will never grow up bigger than a kitten.

C uses her devilfruit to sneak around, get out of trouble and to get a free lift from her crew members. R uses his fruit power to intimidate people and to fight, he also uses it to go unnoticed while he naps in the dark corners.

The majority of people assume that she is max 14 years old due to her petite form and mischievous nature. However, when reaching Wano, she’s actually 18.

C’s outfit is modeled after a cow; she adores them as she finds them cute. She wears tiny horns on her head and a dotted over dress on top of her blue dress. Her cat form also keeps the horns on it.

Her fighting style includes using these horns to inflict damage. She also has learned how to use armament haki during her training.

She spent three months stuck in her cat form due to not knowing how to control it. She has managed to awaken her fruit powers, which doesn’t really help her much aside from giving her extra speed and durability.

During one of the early calls between C and R, they joked about her having the will of D. Later on she learned that she infact DOES have that secret name and she actually carries the will of Portgas D. Rouge. She also resembles Rouge by her looks and sometimes says things that especially got the attention of Garp as he’d last heard the woman herself say them.

C made up an island just to avoid suspicion, claiming that it sunk to the bottom of the ocean only to find out that the island did infact exist.

She also claimed that R and her are childhood friends before her family moved to the East Blue from the North Blue.

In Wano, she learns about the backstory of herself and is left speechless.

She’s actively trying to set Law and R up for her own amusement, even going as far as claiming that he suffers from chronic anxiety which can be cured by slow socialisation (to earn his trust) and cuddles, but the latter must be done by someone the red head respects. Law accepted this as a fact until his mind caught onto it about a week later.

Her favourite colours are purple and green, she often wears brown and blue.

The fake Strawhats had two sets of her; a feral kitten and a giant hulking man with cat ears. Upon seeing this, C immediately called out how they got her motif wrong.

C often takes selfies in the most inconvenient places like right in front of Katakuri, Oven and Daifuku, which she then sends over to R. She also likes to avoid fighting in favour of watching the plot unfold itself.

R

R ends up 10 years into the past, into the office of the Revolutionary Army where he was found by Ivankov and Dragon. He is also now a child. Until he turns 19, he doesn't have any memory problems.

Ivan looks for a cure for R's memory loss, but she doesn't have much time as she's supposed to infiltrate a prison. She quite literally drops him into the hands of Trafalgar Law, explains the situation and leaves without allowing him to protest.

Due to R's shyness, he spends the next half a year silent, making the crew think that he might be actually mute only to later on burst into a song in an attempt to soothe someone. The crew never realises this though as they're used to hearing weird sounds in the submarine.

R uses in total three names in this universe: Ren (Revolutionary Army), Eli (Heart Pirates) and Nao (C, later on the Strawhats). They joke that he has just very long name and those are parts of it.The joke later on turns into reality making R's name be Reneli Nao much to his embarrassment.

During Ivan’s search for a doctor who could cure him, R ended up accidentally eating a devil fruit. The fruit was Zoan type, Neko Neko Mi, Model: Black Jaguar. However for convenience, he refers to it as panther fruit as that way nobody can tell for sure if it was leopard, snow leopard, tiger, lion or a jaguar (Panther is the class name of each of these large cats).

R has two bounties, one as Ren and other as Eli, the latter being his "pet" bounty. Whenever the marines see him in his human form, they refer to him as revolutionary army member rather than as a pirate. Somehow they never put together the fact that Eli and Ren are the same entity.

His bounty as Eli is only around 100 beries due to the marines assuming that the black jaguar form is his real form, and thus believing that he’s a pet.

Before the timeskip, R uses black sunglasses to block out the light as he is very light sensitive, post timeskip he's seen using a cap.

During a call, C joked about him being the illegitimate son of Shanks, in Wano this is confirmed to be the case and the duo swear to never joke again.

He too claimed to be from an island which sunk, only for it to turn up on old maps.

R is an awakened Zoan user, which grands him higher speed and durability.

He also has the habit of switching into another language unconsciously when he curses or insults people. He most often calls them fools in Hebrew, which the rest of the crew assumes having been the native language of the island he’s from.

Law is the only one who knows what he is saying, which makes situations where someone assumes that they’ve earned his trust because he’s “giving them a nickname” even funnier.

He knows how to use both rapier and a katana, his old sword was a rapier which he called Shoshannah after his mother (this means lily or a rose), his current sword is named after his real life brother’s cat, Mito, which in Japanese means serene water while in Italian it can mean myth.

During Zou, the only reason why he got hurt was because of his fruit powers suddenly activated making him loose his balance.

He calls Ivankov “mom” on multiple occasions.

His denden mushi was a gift from Ivankov, however, he just can’t bring himself to decorate it claiming that he’s waiting for the moment he’ll be able to pinpoint just what would reflect him and his personality accessory wise.

His trademark colours are orange, blue and purple, which you can find from his hat and the scarf he wears around his waist to help him carry his katana.

R is a terrible liar which he tries to make up for by turning conversations overly philosophical. Most often he ends up accidentally blurting warnings to his captain and crew.

He often challenges his captain without even realising it by asking questions like “Are you sure about that?” or calling something the stupidest thing he’s ever heard right to his face.

He seems to be immune to feeling intimidated by people to the point where it’s thought that he simply doesn’t have any self preservation instinct. Despite of this, R is very careful and plans his moves to ridiculous detail, trying to take in any possible threats and any potential change in the environment.

Law has a theory that R is the reincarnation of Corazon because he seems to know things that only Corazon would know. This theory was debunked once he learned that R is only 3 years younger than he is.

Other

C and R meet one another in Sabaody, where they both start to regain their lost memories. While they're running from the marines, they quickly catch up and exchange numbers so they can keep in touch.

C and R call regularly, but have trouble when someone else picks up, they both are very shy after all. This leads to moments where C asks Usopp to ask whoever had picked up if Nao was available and vice versa.

Penguin and Shachi have a stash of photos from the time R was stuck as a jaguar cub (when they thought that he was a lot younger and that the devil fruit was just a black cat). They tend to show them to C out of spite towards R, who still doesn’t talk that much.

There’s a third person (let’s call them K), who’s sailing with Boa Hancock, C and K haven’t met one another in the OPverse, but R has made sure that the two also manage to talk by giving them each other’s denden numbers.

K likes to mess with R and Law by referring to them as brothers or “cat men”.

R reunited with K when his captain was taking care of Luffy. The latter found R’s situation hilarious.

The denden mushi of C has purple and green stripes and tiny horns, K’s radiates  G A Y  because of glitter. K’s denden also holds a tiny pride flag.

[softlass27]

I started thinking about Robert spending his birthday this year alone in a prison cell and it made me sad. So I decided to fix it with pure fluff and self-indulgence.

No prison, no bloody Posners, Seb back with his dads where he belongs :')

AO3 link here

If I should smile with sweet surprise

It was no secret to anyone who knew Aaron and Robert, that of the two of them, Robert was the romantic one. He was the type of person who got a thrill out of making grand gestures – surprise trips away, home-cooked dinners by candlelight, too-expensive gifts that he’d bought just because I saw it and thought of you.

It took Aaron a while to get used to being with someone like Robert, but now that they were married and solid, he’d come to love the gestures, he really had. It was just, well, he never knew how to make them in return. He’d never been the particularly romantic sort, never thought he’d want to be, either. Sure, he’d booked them the odd night away, and he always tried to make sure he got Robert thoughtful Christmas and anniversary presents. But showy, full-blown declarations of love? Apart from one cold night in February when Aaron had shown up on Robert’s doorstep, determined to get his husband back, it just wasn’t his thing.

The odd time he’d hesitantly brought it up with Robert over the years, feelings of insecurity and of not being enough rearing its ugly head, Robert just smiled and said he didn’t mind, he spoiled Aaron because he enjoyed doing it, not because he expected something in return.

“You enjoy showing off, more like,” Aaron had scoffed, though something warm settled in his chest at the reassurance.

Robert just shrugged a shoulder at him and said there were plenty of things Aaron did for him – things that no one else had ever done before. Like always making his tea exactly the way he liked it, like knowing to buy his favourite chocolate after a rubbish day, like letting Robert lay his head in his lap and stroking his hair when he’d given himself a headache by staring at the computer screen for too long.

Like listening to him talk about his favourite memories of his mum, asking him questions about the kinds of food she used to cook and what her favourite songs were. Like letting him rant about Jack and Andy and the misery of his teenage years, without telling him he was overreacting.

So that was the way it was. Robert did the cheesy, over-the-top gestures of love and Aaron accepted them with a kiss and an I love you.

Until today.

Today, it was Robert’s 34th birthday and Aaron was going to sweep his husband off his feet if it killed him.

He deserved it after everything they’d been through in the last twelve months. They’d thought nothing could be worse than what had happened to Victoria only days after Robert’s last birthday. Then just as Lee Posner had crawled back into whatever dark hole he’d come from and she’d begun to turn a corner, they were hit with another bombshell.

One day in early September, Aaron dropped Seb off in Liverpool to find Rebecca had nipped to the shops and Ross was acting strangely. Despite Ross’s protests, Aaron stuck around until Rebecca got back, making small talk with him and watching him carefully. By the time he got back in the car, he’d seen enough. He knew the signs, Ross was definitely on something. Maybe cocaine, maybe spice, maybe something else entirely. It didn’t make much difference to him either way; Ross was on drugs when he was meant to be responsible for Aaron’s stepson, and he was not having it.

Aaron had broken several speed limits on his way home and wasted no time telling Robert as soon as he walked through the door. They’d already been concerned that Rebecca couldn’t seem to keep a nanny around for longer than a few weeks at a time, and it wasn’t like her brain injury had just disappeared in the last year. If anything, she seemed to be deteriorating some days. And if Ross – the one who was meant to be keeping her right – was high on god knows what, then there was no way in hell Seb was staying with them.

Although they were both tempted to go charging through Ross and Rebecca’s door and grab Seb there and then, they held back. Rebecca had threatened them with legal action before, and if they tried anything, she’d wouldn't hesitate to do it again. They had to be smart about it.

A few days later, Robert popped round to their place unannounced, having supposedly been “in the neighbourhood”, so he could get a good look at Ross for himself. It didn't take more than a few minutes for him to agree with Aaron's suspicions. The next time they dropped Seb off, they made sure to do it while only Rebecca was home and they stuck around for a coffee. Robert distracted her while Aaron snuck upstairs and rooted through Ross’s stuff until he found a stash of white powder, snapping a photo with his phone.

Robert had Ross followed by a private investigator, who eventually confirmed that not only was Ross buying drugs, he was dealing them, too. The private investigator also told them – with more than a little concern – that on one occasion he’d seen Ross and Rebecca briefly leave Seb alone in the house.

It had taken endless meetings with lawyers and social services, gathering evidence and providing character witnesses from everyone from Aaron’s therapist to Nicola (who was more than happy to throw her weight around as local councillor on their behalf). As the days and weeks passed, Robert was out of his mind with worry, not to mention guilt for having let Ross and Rebecca take Seb in the first place. He barely slept and only ate when Aaron forced him to, exhausting himself to the point of Aaron being terrified that he’d have another seizure.

The wait was agonising, but after what felt like an eternity of hardly daring to hope, Seb was released into their custody and back at the Mill by Christmas, with arrangements for Rebecca to see him under supervised visits in the new year. At first, Seb was a little withdrawn and confused by the disruption, but Aaron and Robert both showered him with as many cuddles and presents as they could, and he soon perked up. It was the best Christmas Aaron could remember having.

The first few months of 2020 had passed quickly and quietly, with most of their time spent making sure Seb settled in properly, and helping Victoria with her new baby boy, Harry. Not to mention catching up on all the work they’d both put on the back burner recently. But now, things were getting back to a new kind of normal. Seb was his happy self once again and getting into mischief at every opportunity, while Vic was regularly seeing a counsellor and taking motherhood in her stride. Things weren’t perfect, but they were getting there.

Now it was Robert’s birthday, and this year Aaron was going to treat him, dammit.

He entered their bedroom with a tray full of Robert’s favourite breakfast foods and set it down carefully before carding a hand through Robert’s sleep-mussed hair. “Hey, birthday boy.”

Robert’s mouth quirked in a half-smile before his eyes even opened. “Mornin’.”

Aaron leaned down and gave him light peck, but before he could sit up Robert slung his arms around his neck and yanked him down again, suddenly much more awake. “Oi, it’s my birthday, gimme a proper snog.”

Aaron rolled his eyes but didn’t resist, pressing his mouth to Robert’s and sliding his tongue past his lips, kissing him slowly and deeply until they were both gasping for breath. He eventually pulled away, laughing when Robert tried to chase his mouth with his own. “I made you breakfast, eat it before it gets cold.”

Robert gave a put-upon sigh but let him go, tucking into his plate of fresh fruit and pastries, occasionally letting Aaron steal a bite.

“Is Seb up yet?” He asked, sucking juice off his fingers.

“Nah, we’ve probably got a while. He’s dead excited to give you his card, though. He’s drawn what I can only guess is either a cow or a train, I’m not sure which but it’s very good.”

Robert laughed and relaxed back into the pillows, sipping his coffee. At least he was relaxed until he noticed Aaron fidgeting next to him, shifting on his side of the bed and tapping his hands against the duvet. “You alright over there?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re a bit… twitchy. Are you – ”

“Do you want your present now?” Aaron cut him off, unable to wait any longer.

Robert smirked and set his mug down. “Go on, then.”

Aaron reached over to his bedside table, pulling an envelope out of the drawer and passing it over. Robert waited for a moment to see if anything else would follow, but Aaron just shoved the drawer closed and turned back to him. Robert blinked at the card. “Did you… get me a voucher?”

“Did I – no I didn’t get you a voucher, you idiot. I’m not that bad of a husband.”

“Well I don’t know about – ow don’t hit me it’s my birthday – of course you’re not, you’re a brilliant husband. Amazing. Stupendous.”

“Would you just open your bloody present, please?”

Robert tore open the envelope and pulled the contents out, while Aaron pressed a fist to his mouth in order to hide the grin that was threatening to break across his face. He watched Robert’s face change as he took in the tickets and brochure, his jaw dropping as he looked at Aaron with wide eyes.

“No.”

“Yep.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?!” Robert held up tickets for flights to Iceland, due to depart the next day.

May 2016

“Oh my God, Ibiza, really?” Robert groaned. “You’re such a lad.”

“And you’re such a snob, there’s nout wrong with Ibiza.”

It was after midnight and they were lounging in Aaron’s room at the pub, chatting about everything and nothing. It had only been a couple of weeks since they’d decided to give them a proper shot, and although they’d already been through hell and back together, it still felt pretty new. They might have the, well, physical side of things down, but they’d realised there was still a hell of a lot they didn’t know about each other.

So most nights, when everyone else was asleep, they talked. Which was how they’d come to this particular argument.

“Okay whatever, just don’t expect me to go there with you. Ever.”

“Pfft, I wouldn’t want you there anyway, you killjoy, “ said Aaron, though his smile took the sting out of it.

“Alright, where else would you want to go? Any dream destinations?”

Aaron thought for a moment. “I’d like to go to Vegas one day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, all the casinos, the shows, the fireworks. It looks amazin’. Maybe even see the Grand Canyon, too, that’d be mint.”

“Hmm, noted,” said Robert, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

“What about you?” Aaron poked him. “Anything on the bucket list?”

Robert shrugged. “Dunno. I like city breaks, mostly. Paris, Rome, that sort of thing. Barcelona,” he said, raising his eyebrows playfully.

Aaron winced, still feeling guilty about bailing on their trip. He pressed a kiss to the side of Robert’s head. “Sorry again. We will go, promise.”

“S’fine, I told you not to worry about it. But yeah, apart from that I wouldn’t mind holing up in a villa somewhere warm with you. Doesn’t matter where. Sun, pool, sex, what’s not to like?”

“Sounds nice,” said Aaron.

They lay there in comfortable silence. Aaron was close to drifting off when –

“Northern Lights.”

Aaron’s eyes opened to see Robert looking at him with a sleepy smile. “Hmm?”

“I’ve always wanted to see the Northern Lights.”

“Yeah?”

“Ever since I was a kid. I saw this tv programme about them, used to think they were magic. I don’t now, obviously, but yeah. Would love to actually see them someday.”

His eyes fell shut, and Aaron's followed soon after.

“Vic’s gonna bring Harry here and help Liv look after Seb while we’re gone. Or he can have a sleepover at hers, or with Moira and Isaac, whichever he prefers. But starting tomorrow it’s just you and me, five days, and – hopefully – some magic lights in the sky.”

Robert stared at him for a moment before running his thumb over the printed words on the ticket. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“I do listen, you know.”

“I know but I told you that years ago.”

“I mean, I can’t guarantee we’ll actually see the lights,” said Aaron. “But I checked the weather and it’s supposed to be clear skies for the next week, so fingers crossed.” He pulled the hotel brochure towards them. “And if not, we can still go in the hot springs and nice restaurants, and our room’s dead fancy, got a log fire and everythi – mmf!”

Robert pounced, pressing a hard kiss to Aaron’s lips, then when his grin caused him to break it he pressed more over as many parts of his face as he could reach. He bumped his forehead against Aaron’s, eyes sparkling.

“You got me the Northern Lights for my birthday,” he laughed like he couldn’t believe it.

“Told you I’m a good husband.”

“You are. The best husband I’ve ever had.”

Aaron’s reply was cut off by the deafening cry of “Daaaaaddy!” coming from down the hall. He shoved Robert back with a sigh and pushed himself out of the bed. “Better not keep his lordship waiting. There’s still presents to open and then we need to be at the Woolpack by noon, before Diane comes looking again.”

He was about to head out the door when Robert caught his hand and pulled him back until they were pressed tightly together. He cupped Aaron’s jaw and kissed him one more time.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Aaron pressed a thumb on the crinkles around Robert's left eye. “And I think 34 is gonna be your year.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hm. Just a feeling.”

“Well it’s looking that way so far,” said Robert, his smile suddenly turning slightly bashful. "No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you.”

God, Aaron was gone on him. “You deserve it, you daft sod.”

Three days later, Aaron watched Robert gaze up with delight at the bright streaks of light stretching across the dark sky. As they took in the brilliant colours, he grabbed Aaron’s hand tightly and whispered that they were even better than he’d imagined. He was so absorbed in what he was seeing, he didn’t notice Aaron grinning smugly to himself.

He was a romantic bastard.

[wordupcomics]

Can I take this moment to ask why I keep getting asks that are labeled anonymous yet still give the asker’s name?????

Also, @newsiegirlscout​ I asked for your help and holy cow did you deliver! XD Thank you! (and this is only the Tobey questions!)

(2) Who do they look to for guidance?

Becky most of the time. He also goes to his mom or step dad a lot (but more so his mother) and his friends sometimes but not as often.

(3) What would it take for them to betray the person (I'm changing it to people) they love?

The people he loves

(4) Who is someone they've hurt?

You mean the man who used to trample the city with giant robots? Destroying plenty of homes and roadways and inconveniencing so many? Tobey doesn't want to think about the number of people he hurt

(5) What is a secret they have?

(debates whether or not to share this now or later) He's worried his villain side isn't completely gone and will make a comeback one day

(6) Would they trust anyone with their secret?

Would he trust Becky with this secret? Yes. Is he gonna tell her this willingly? **** no.

(10) Sacrifice the one to save many, or save the one no matter the cost?

You're killing Tobey with these questions

(14) What is something that never fails to make them excited?

Aside from the obvious (robots and other technological feats and advances) he also gets super excited when his kids make literally any kind of accomplishment. He's a lot like his mom in that regard

(21) Do they prefer giving or receiving gifts?

receiving and he will passionately deny it

(22) How indecisive are they?

Depends. Regarding technology he's very indecisive. Every time he wants a new piece of tech he spends weeks researching, hours mulling it over in the store, and then usually ends up saying "I'll just design my own!" and then never actually buys the thing. Based on conversations commonly had in my house I'm now picturing this:

Theo: where's dad? Becky: He's at the electronic store Theo: oh, so he'll be back next week then?

(31) Do they have comfort food?

Sweets, and he even has a hidden stash of some in his lab that no one is allowed to know about, especially Julie (fun fact: his lab is the basement of the house, and in his lab and the garage there are special secret hidden passages to get to Becky and Bob's ship (which the house was built on top of))

(36) Are there any holidays or celebration they dislike?

Valentine's Day

(37) Are there any holidays or celebrations they go all in for?

His and Becky's anniversary

(38) How would you describe their decorating sense?

So what do we mean by decorating? At first I thought like home decorating, but the fact that this question comes right after the holiday questions now I'm wondering if it was supposed to mean holiday decorating? I'll just answer both I guess. Home Decorating: After looking over a list of interior design styles, I decided "industrial" would suit him best.

In terms of holiday decorating, Tobey is known for getting the lights up at Christmas and doing lights for several other holidays (Halloween would be an amazing holiday for lights, try to change my mind). Lights are a good utilization of Tobey's skills for decorating, plus Becky and the kids (especially Julie) love it! The only thing Becky doesn't like about it is when Tobey does the outside lights. Becky doesn't trust her clumsy husband outside with a ladder. Inside is one thing, outdoors with the elements is quite another.

[batmansymbol]

sunshowers

Ginny and Luna don’t talk at school. They exist to each other only in summer, in the miles of countryside between their houses.

a luna/ginny oneshot

Find on: FFnet and AO3

It’s the last shred of summer before second year, firecrackers are scraping up the edges of the evening, and Ginny can’t take her brothers anymore. Fred and George are pissing off their mother with a kind of religious dedication that suggests they're trying to go deaf via shouting before the new term. Percy has just accused Ginny of stamping up the steps, whereas she’s certain that if anyone looked twice they would find her hovering, ghostlike, several inches above the old wood. She’s felt that way all summer, halfway out the door of the world.

Ron, meanwhile, is poring over the newest Prophet article on Sirius Black’s escape with a morbidly awestruck look. This would be fine, except that he keeps mentioning You-Know-Who, apparently forgetting how much Ginny does know.

Ginny thinks they all have a skewed perception of what happened. Her family is treating the previous year like a near miss, thank God it was averted, a thrown knife that whizzed an inch above her skull to impale something terrifyingly close. They don’t seem to understand that nothing missed. She was run through and she’s still on the blade, and whenever she stirs or steps or breathes, she feels the past year move inside her.

A bang outside the window, and another enraged howl from her mother. That’s it, that’s enough, no more. Ginny escapes through the back garden, dodging gnomes. She nicks one of the old Shooting Stars from the shed and goes bobbing unsteadily over the countryside. The broom lists determinedly to the left—she has to course-correct the wayward thing every ten seconds—and honestly, walking might be faster, but she likes the feeling of directional control.

Ottery St. Catchpole passes on her right, far enough away that she isn’t worried about the townspeople seeing her. She glides low to the ground over cloud shadows that dye the grass gray. Hills swoop in every direction, bearing cows and horses and the occasional farm upon their swells. Everything is an audible hush: the wind in the grass, the air in her ears, the shifting of fabric as she adjusts the broom, again, to the right. It feels good. It feels simple.

There’s a vertex ahead, a place all the landscape’s decorations converge. A hill slopes into a rocky outcropping that borders a stream, which in turn cordons off a patch of woodland. At that point of intersection glitters a head of blonde hair. A girl is crouched and staring into the water. It’s like all the world’s component parts have come together to create her.

After a moment’s hesitation, Ginny steers so that a boulder lies between herself and the girl, then flies downhill toward the outcropping. She lands and stashes her broom behind the rock, but when she comes out beside the stream, she realizes she needn’t have bothered. The girl isn’t a Muggle. She’s in Ginny’s year at Hogwarts, a Ravenclaw. Ginny forgets the name, but she knows her parents have mentioned the girl’s family before. There aren’t so many wizarding families around Ottery St. Catchpole.

“Hi,” Ginny says, hopping two stones to cross the river.

The girl looks up. “Oh, hello.” She speaks with a placid calm, as if she was expecting Ginny. Her eyes are pale gray.

“I’m Ginny.”

“Yes,” says the girl. “Ginny Weasley. You have six brothers. They’re very well-known.”

Ginny sighs.

“Have I upset you?” the girl asks mildly.

“No. They’re driving me mad, that’s all. My brothers.”

“I see.” The girl considers. “I haven’t got any brothers, but I think if I had six, I would get tired of them sometimes, too.”

“I’ve been tired of them all summer.”

“Why?”

Ginny pulls her lips to one side. “It’s nothing. It’s not even about them, really.”

“Is it about the Chamber of Secrets?”

Ginny stares at the girl, who seems completely unfazed.

The girl goes on, “Everyone was talking about it at the end of year feast. It sounded quite frightening.”

The sound that comes from Ginny’s mouth is something like a startled laugh. “Yes,” she says, “it was. Hang on, sorry, who are you?”

A smile spreads the girl’s features. “I’m Luna Lovegood. My father and I live ten minutes’ walk that way. I come down here sometimes to look for Crossriver Wishers.”

“To look for—what?”

“Well, sometimes, at the place a wood meets a river, you can see them.” She points into the water, peers more closely. Ginny sits on the grass and follows suit. “They’re all born with symbols on their backs,” Luna murmurs, “and if you trace your wand in the shape of the symbol, they'll come out from the river and grant you a wish.”

Ginny wonders if Luna’s having a go. She glances over. Years later, she’ll remember two things about what she sees. Firstly, the river is sending minuscule scales of light over Luna’s forehead and cheeks, there and then gone, turning her skin into soft sunbeamed chainmail. Secondly, there’s not an ounce of mischief or irony on Luna’s face, only serene determination. It’s as smooth as glass, that look, when Ginny has felt only spikes for months; it stuns Ginny, it’s so unWeasleyish. She watches for a few eternal seconds and marvels that someone can be this much of one thing. Of course this girl is an only child with an only parent. There is nothing in her that is a reaction or a defense. She is purely formed and singular, elemental, this girl who has glimmered into Ginny’s life like a mirage at the edge of reality.

***

Ginny Weasley is a frequency illusion. Luna is almost certain she didn’t see her so often the previous year, but of course everyone is still talking about the Chamber of Secrets at the start of second year. Maybe it’s because of this that Luna sees the long red hair everywhere now.

Luna wonders if she could talk to her, but house loyalty seems very important to the Weasleys, and Ginny is clearly trying to leave behind what happened with the Chamber and lodge herself in the Gryffindor ranks. So Luna doesn’t say anything. She isn’t certain it would be normal to speak to Ginny here, as they only spoke once in the summer. It was a nice conversation, but Luna isn’t sure it has the inertia to survive here. Something about it feels like a snowflake caught on a glove, like it could dissolve under breath if examined too closely.

There’s one moment she nearly does it. It’s the first of the really warm days in spring and the cold of the Dementors guarding the castle feels, for the first time since autumn, completely dispelled. Luna is glad. She’s tired of seeing her mother broken apart in front of her in flashes, again and again.

Luna is walking down to study by the lake and sees the red hair. Ginny is sitting alone. Luna considers going over to her.

As if Ginny has felt her, she looks up and over. Before Luna can raise a hand, though, or smile, or do anything really, Fred and George Weasley bounce down the slope toward their sister, calling something.

Before Ginny looks away from Luna, she hesitates.

Luna continues along her previous path, but she holds onto that hesitation. She knows then that she and Ginny will see each other again in the coming summer, at the same bend in the river as before. She doesn’t know why she’s so certain, but she is. Luna prides herself on being a very certain person. Maybe she’s this way because she watched her mother die so painfully and suddenly. Many things become clear in the wake of such events. Such as: her father is good and kind, and his grief is sad, and the work he does important to people, so it is important inherently. Such as: she will hold some images in her heart forever, until she dies, which she will someday do. Such as: the hesitation before Ginny looks away means that Luna means something in Ginny’s mind. Such as: whenever anything happens, the world will never be the same.

***

Ginny meets Luna by the stream twice in the first month of summer. In the second month, they meet half a dozen times. By the end, they’re lying back on the grass two or three times a week and looking at the sky as they speak. They talk often about Ginny’s brothers. Ginny profiles them all with a blunt honesty that she knows would injure every one of their feelings, but Luna would never repeat any of it, she's sure of that.

One afternoon, Luna tells Ginny about her mother’s death, and for a second Ginny’s body mimics surprise, the beginnings of I can’t believe that happened, but when she thinks about it for more than an instant, of course she can believe it. She looks at Luna seriously and thinks, I believe it happened, but I wish it hadn’t. All that comes out is, “I’m sorry.”

She often apologizes to Luna, which seems to make no impact. Ginny’s laughter makes curiously little impact, too. Everything slips into Luna with no visible effect, like she is a very dark color and the world is made for her total absorption. Ginny finds this relaxing. Home is so reactive, everyone a live nerve ending one hundred percent of the time.

“I can’t wait for the World Cup,” Ginny says near the end of summer. She glances over at Luna, whose eyes are reflecting the entire sky. “Are you going?”

“I don’t think so,” says Luna. “My father doesn’t enjoy Quidditch the way I do.”

Ginny blinks, surprised. “Oh, do you enjoy Quidditch?”

“I go to every match at school.”

“Well, you’ve really got to hate it not to turn out at school.”

There’s a pause. They don’t speak about Hogwarts very much. Ginny wonders if it would be nosy to ask why Luna never spoke to her last year. She supposes she never sought Luna out, either, but she wouldn’t have minded if Luna had spoken to her. It’s not as if she’s drowning in friends. Neither of them seems to be drowning in friends.

In fact, now that she thinks about it, there seems to be something mulish in their mutual silence, like each is determined to prove to herself that they can forge a life in that school, despite Ginny’s lingering reputation as The Girl In The Chamber and Luna’s lingering reputation as Luna.

Ginny feels a guilty squirming feeling. Maybe she didn’t talk to Luna precisely because of the way people talk about her. Even in Ravenclaw, a house full of oddities, Luna is unique. With her straggly hair and her mystic voice she is like a wild thing. People joke that she wandered out of the Forbidden Forest and Hogwarts had to let her in because she had birthright access. But here they are, lounging in the sun, talking about Quidditch.

“I think it might rain,” Luna says absently. “That’s funny. It’s never rained before when you’ve come to see me.”

Ginny laughs. “That’s because I don’t come when I see clouds.”

“Oh.”

“What, have you been here through thunderstorms waiting for me to show up?” Ginny teases.

“Yes, every afternoon,” Luna says.

Ginny's hands feel very warm, then. She picks at the edge of her shirt and doesn’t look at Luna. She will talk to Luna at school this fall, she decides. There’s no reason she shouldn’t.

Then the Quidditch World Cup crashes through the wizarding community, and when they arrive at school, Dumbledore announces the Triwizard Tournament. It’s a month into school already before Ginny makes eye contact with Luna in a hallway, at which point she remembers her resolution to speak to her, but by that point Luna’s through a door already, or around a corner, maybe. Out of reach. Luna didn’t even hesitate.

This happens again two weeks later, and there’s something to Luna’s instantaneous eye contact and easy disappearance that makes Ginny wonder if Luna is avoiding her. Has she done something? What could she have done, really?

Maybe it’s a thin basis for worry, but Ginny returns to it every so often, when she’s seated so she can see the Ravenclaw table and a disheveled blonde head is in sight. Maybe it’s just that Ginny wishes Luna would stop when she sees her, and Luna never does. Something about that seems almost defiant. Ginny looks at her friends, says hello to them. Luna floats away as if Ginny’s attention is nothing to her.

The year rolls on. Between the Tournament and the commotion at the World Cup and last year’s Sirius Black scare, Ginny feels like her first year is finally, measurably behind her. She begins to hold up her end of conversations without feeling like she’s pleading for clemency. “Ginny,” says George with a pleased smile, “you actually sound like yourself, doesn’t she, Fred?”

“It’s the Tournament,” says Fred knowingly. “It’s all this extra opportunity to watch Harry in public that’s doing it.”

She shoves him and tells him to shut up, but she’s starting to appreciate these repeated jibes, because she can feel the way she’s becoming inured to them. The fact of her attraction to Harry is less humiliating than it always was. It’s almost a joke even in her own head by this point. What girl in their year isn’t a bit awestruck by him, the slightly older boy who killed a Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets to save her life?

By the end of the year Ginny’s grown several inches, in the usual Weasley way, and she’s practicing her smile in the mirror, and she likes what she sees, actually. She’s liked by many people, and by being liked, she is participating in something she didn’t realize was previously inaccessible to her. She begins to feel that everything is already just where it should be, and when Luna floats by in the halls, Ginny doesn’t feel guilty about a promise to herself that she failed to keep, and she doesn’t wonder about Luna’s motives or inner life. She feels a secretive happiness that she can have not one but two good lives, the one in the halls and the one in the sunlight.

***

In the first few days of summer before fourth year, Luna worries that Ginny will stop coming to the river. Ginny is her only friend, after all, but there was no indication in third year that Ginny was thinking of her. She worries that Ginny is her friend, but she isn’t Ginny’s friend. She always thought of friendship as something reciprocal, but maybe she’s misunderstood its fundamental nature. Maybe it can be given but not accepted, unidirectional, like the stream she observes alone under the drizzle.

But the first sunny day of summer, there she is, bobbing down the grass slope. She’s taller than Luna now and her smile is slightly crooked in the way of confident people.

The instant she appears at the top of the hill, something uncurls inside Luna like a newborn animal. She lets a long breath go through her nose and acts as if she wasn’t frightened at all.

For most of the summer they talk about Cedric Diggory, and about Harry Potter’s story of You-Know-Who’s return, and about the way things could change. Halfway through summer, Ginny says apologetically that the Weasleys are staying in London for the rest of the holidays.

“Well, that’s all right,” Luna says. “I didn’t know whether we would see each other this summer at all.”

“What? Why not?”

“I didn’t know,” Luna says again.

There’s a long pause. Then Ginny says, “Sorry, I’m sorry if I made you feel like I wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

Ginny looks confused and guilty. She can’t seem to look at Luna. “I’m just sorry. I thought we both thought this was better.”

Luna genuinely doesn’t know what Ginny means, but she feels that to express confusion again would upset Ginny further. “I hope London is nice,” she says.

They leave on those terms. Luna is surprised by how often she thinks about this, and how, when she thinks about it, her stomach feels like it’s being pulled downward.

Over fourth year, they exist in closer proximity than they ever have. Luna collides with Harry and Ron and Hermione, and she joins the D.A., and the world seems illuminated. Luna checks her coin every day before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up in the morning. She touches it absently during classes sometimes, hoping it will turn hot.

Sometimes Luna feels selfish, because while she does loathe Umbridge and the Ministry’s sinister doings, she feels perversely grateful to them for what they’ve given her.

At the same time, having friends has forced Luna to confront that her first three and a half years of school were defined by the absence of friendship. She didn’t realize how different things were on the other side, and now that she’s taken one step into friendship, she can see how other people are much further into it, how other people have closer friends who share more with each other.

During D.A. meetings, the first thing she looks for when she walks in is Ginny. Sometimes Ginny is looking at her, but then she will look away quickly, as if she’s afraid of making a mistake. She will look away and return to talking with her other friends.

Luna is beginning to map out the geography of Ginny’s other friendships. Thinking about this upsets her, but for some reason she can’t stop herself, it’s compulsive. Luna wonders all sorts of things about Ginny’s friends. Do they know about the many hierarchies that exist in the Weasley family, which Ginny has revealed to Luna over hours and hours? Do they know the precise way in which Ginny adores Bill, in which she idolizes and yet is frightened by the twins? Do they know all of the facial expressions Ginny makes when she's speaking about her own future? Sometimes they touch Ginny’s shoulder or hair and it’s like they don’t even think about it at all. That’s how easily they move. Luna thinks about the impossible effort it would take for her to interact with another person’s space in that way, and she wonders if this is why Ginny doesn’t talk to her. Sometimes she thinks about walking right up to Ginny and this makes her feel dizzy. If they spoke to each other, surely everyone would be able to look at the space between them and see that there is matter there, and then they’d have to explain something, and that makes the weight pull down at Luna’s stomach again.

She thinks of all these things, absurdly, in the Department of Mysteries that spring, as they’re running from the Death Eaters. She hears a cry, looks back with a feeling of her whole body unraveling, and sees a Death Eater’s hand around Ginny’s ankle. “Reducto!” the word blasts out of her with the force of terror. A model of Pluto explodes in the Death Eater’s face. Ginny yells as her ankle cracks.

Luna runs forward and catches her. Suddenly the whole weight of Ginny’s body is in her arms. She is holding Ginny’s whole self, and if she does anything else incorrectly then Ginny could be dashed to nothing, she could be ribboned just like Luna’s mother, reduced to images that will replay forever into the future, and the idea is so overwhelming that everything seems to go black around her. The thing that Luna will remember most clearly from that night is Ginny’s face, drawn with pain from her broken ankle, hovering in the dark like a prophecy.

***

The first day of summer, it rains. She comes to the bend in the river. Ginny is sitting on one of the rocks there with a tattered umbrella held over her head.

“Hey,” Ginny says.

“Hello.” Luna glances at her ankle. “It looks better.”

“It is, yeah.”

They’re silent for a while.

“I've been thinking about the Ministry a lot,” Ginny says.

“Me, too.”

“I was stupid last summer. It was really stupid that I left without saying more. I wanted to ask if you wanted to talk in school. Because I thought you were happy not talking, but then you’ve seemed a lot happier this year, so I guess I was wrong, and I should have asked.”

“It’s all right if you don’t want to speak to me in school,” Luna says. As the words come out, she feels that downward pull again and realizes it is deep shame. She holds herself very still. She wants the words to be true, she doesn’t want to place any pressure on Ginny to do anything, because if she did anything that made Ginny feel pressured, Ginny would disappear and never reappear in Luna’s life. Ginny is glowing in the greyish air and it’s impossible that she’s here at all.

“Why wouldn’t I want to speak to you,” Ginny says.

“Other people think I’m too strange to be worth knowing.”

Ginny pauses before saying quietly, “How do you know that?” She doesn’t say it like Luna is wrong. She says it like she’s sad that Luna is aware of it.

Luna doesn’t know how to explain it to Ginny. She could tell Ginny that she has slowly realized she doesn’t feel normal, that she has come to know she isn’t normal, which is true, but that carries a connotation of woundedness or alienation that isn’t quite right.

It’s just separation. A slight feeling of anthropology whenever surveying groups of other people. It’s just that there’s a look everyone wears around her, and she recognizes it now. It’s partly made up of encouraging interest, the kind you’d put on for a child: please go on, please tell me more, your perspective is so interesting and so unusual. There’s always a measure of light irony behind the look, too: all right, I’ll roll the dice, I’ll give it a go; what will she say this time?

These people aren’t bullies. Whoever’s wearing the look is usually well meaning and compassionate, but even they think, it’s Luna Lovegood, you have to take Luna Lovegood with a spoon of something strong to fortify yourself.

Luna doesn’t like knowing what they think, and yet there’s something reassuring in being known that way, as an archetype that does contain a part of you.

Luna decides this is what she’ll focus on. She wants to show Ginny that she enjoys being herself. She doesn’t want to misrepresent herself to Ginny as an object of sympathy, which would feel profoundly disempowering.

“It’s nice to be expected, I suppose,” Luna says mildly. “It’s nice that people know me well enough to expect something specific out of me.”

But Ginny knows this isn’t what she wanted to say. Ginny’s looking hard at her, green-gray eyes slicing into her like a paring knife.

“What,” she says, “do you think people expect out of you?”

Luna thinks about this for a long time. It feels like a riddle for the Ravenclaw portrait hole. If she says something too true, something will open. She must decide whether she wants it to stay shut.

She opens it. "There’s a look people have when they’re expecting me to say something so unusual that it somersaults into being profound.”

Ginny doesn’t answer. Pink tinges her cheeks behind her freckles, and Luna knows this is confirmation.

Luna lifts her shoulders and can’t help a faint smile. “I am a bit tired of it, I suppose. They look at me like I’m a ceremony in a language they don’t speak. At best I amuse them or educate them or remind them of the differences between all people. Either way, in their eyes, everything I say or do has nothing to do with me at all. There is no interest in actually understanding the incomprehensible. Though I should be used to that.”

She touches the spectrespecs on the string around her neck. Her smile fades. She looks Ginny in the face, and some of the layers of thought shear away from her voice. She rarely lets herself speak this way. “I am not the cypher that solves other people. I am myself for myself.”

Ginny looks at Luna’s mouth, then, for some reason. “I know you are,” she says after a while. “I hope I never look at you that way. Like a ceremony in another language.”

“You never have,” Luna says. “You know the language.”

Something shifts in the clouds thousands of feet above and the rain is lit up all around them like white fire. Luna is suddenly consumed by the fact that Ginny is looking at her, thinking about her, that right now they command each other’s complete focus. She is very aware of Ginny’s eyes, then, and of the way her hair looks heavy, like molten metal. Once, in Charms class, someone miscast a hover charm on Luna’s arm, which floated up to hang in the air. There was a tremendous feeling of freedom in it, this thing she had no control over, something she could smile at with the rest of the class. Luna feels something like that in her hand now, something that if uncontested would lift her fingers unavoidably to Ginny’s face or hair. She has to hold it back. She isn’t used to holding herself back, but she knows somehow that if she didn’t, something in Ginny would startle, maybe even be afraid. So this time she exercises restraint. She holds something inside and it makes her feel normal.

***

Two months later, Ginny opens Luna’s compartment door on the train.

“Is that seat taken?” she says.

Luna smiles.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Bill and Jessica

This is a continuation @skrsgrd-my-boi requested. So here ya go. Super fluffy and some curse words.

This is Bill and Jessica and they're just gonna be happy overload

For the first one go here: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/185008455366/i-sooo-need-you-to-write-about-what-would-happen

“Honey I’m home!” Jessica yelled as she walked in the condo, a few minutes past 3 am.

She’d been drinking since that afternoon and had misplaced her iPhone, somewhere along the way. Therefore, she had no clue that Bill had been blowing up her phone all night. She tripped over some shoes in the hallway and ate shit. It wasn’t too bad of a fall, but any type of fall, when you’re an adult is rough. Lucky for her, she was wasted, so everything was just hilarious.

Bill got up and walked out of his room, to find Jessica, lying on the ground laughing hysterically. He hadn’t been able to sleep anyway and had been laying there, rehearsing what he was going to say to her when she got home, but now he was just happy she was back safe.

He went to help her up, but instead of getting up, she pulled him down on top of her.

“Dammit! Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all night! I was worried, sick!” Bill spat at her.

“Billy Willy I might have drunk too much and lost my phone when the sun was still up. So there’s that. And then I was a drinking safari with Angel because she liberated herself from her evil boyfriend, the Dreamkiller. Terrifying guy. No fun at all.” Jessica hiccuped. “Excuse my hiccups, but I love you.” She grabbed bill’s face and pulled him into a deep kiss, interrupted here and there with a hiccup.

Bill was rigid at first, but he really loved Jessica’s drunk ass and couldn’t really be mad, she couldn't answer the phone, if she didn’t even have it.

He pulled away and met her eyes, “you could of at least called and let me know you’re ok.”

“Will do Billy Willy. 10-4 over and out.”

“I’m serious. I love you, and I worry. I know what a drunken jackass you can be, and I’m not saying you can’t go out and get smashed with your friends. I wish you would bring me along so that I can take care of you,” Bill said as he peppered her face with kisses.

“A-ok. Scouts honor,” Jessica tried to salute, but just poked herself in the eye somehow. “Ouch!”

Bill tenderly kissed her eye. “Can I carry you to bed?”

“Only if you’re naked,” Jessica said with a mischievous grin.

Bill had only been wearing boxers, so he quickly was nude and hoisted Jessica up into a bridal hold, carrying her to their room.

“Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer!” Jessica sang out.

“You are THE MOST obnoxious drunk girl that ever lived,” Bill said, rolling his eyes.

“Bitch! I am serenading you, and you call me names? Shame on you! Shame your cow! Shame your whole family!” Jessica giggled, but when she looked at Bill, he looked utterly lost. “Don’t tell me that you never saw Mulan!”

The beautiful Swede looked just as lost as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Put me down. I must go to my secret movie stash!” She said, kicking her legs.

He set her down, and she ran out of the bedroom to get her movie while Bill brushed his teeth. He turned to see her walking in the room carrying a tape box. He spat and asked, “is that really a VHS?”

“Yes. I have all my old Disney movies. I’m not a heathen. I can’t believe you never saw this classic. And you call yourself an artist. Bah!”

Bill beamed at Jessica as she talked to the DVD VCR combo trying to make it work with sloppy drunk impatience. She shooshed him and pressed her ear to the machine, with the cutest little concentration face, Bill had ever seen.

“What are you doing, Jess?”

“I’m making sure, it’s not eating it.... I think we are good.”

She stood up, quickly shedding all her clothes, and bounded over to the bed before diving on it, bouncing around giggling.

Bill loved how silly and free-spirited she could be. He had been like that once, but after playing a few very dark, disturbing roles, he found it more and more difficult to let go, and act a fool.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d met Jessica after an event she had decorated, when his then-girlfriend, had gotten jealous and abandon him there. Bill was rather intoxicated, and his phone was dead, so he had no way to call a ride, and didn’t particularly care. He sat down to smoke when he heard a yelp. He quickly got up and ran towards the direction of the sound, imagining several terrible scenarios, he could be running into. What he found was a breathtakingly beautiful woman, clinging to a ladder that had fallen over against the wall, about to crash down at any moment. He hurried over and righted the ladder, holding it so she could climb down.

Jessica turned to thank her hero, and when she looked into his eyes, her eyes went wide, and she laughed.

”What?” Bill asked self consciously.

“Shut the fuck up! Bill Skarsgård did not just save me! Oh my God, I just told Bill Skarsgård to shut the fuck up! I’m so sorry, my bad. I should be internalizing all this, but I’m an asshole.” She hid her face in her hands, shaking her head.

“No worries. What were you doing on that ladder?” He asked.

Jessica explained she was tearing down the party now and was working. She owned a company that made any theme, or vision you had, a reality. Want a flapper fundraiser? Jess would come in with feather boas hanging from giant white balloons, that lit up. Champagne bottles turned upside down, spraying balloon bubbles, in a cascade. Make amazing centerpieces and turn a plain ballroom, into a scene out of the Great Gatsby...

Bill found her very easy to talk to and followed her around holding the ladder as she told him about all the different parties she’d done and hilarious anecdotes of her adventures.

“I’m just talking away and although I’m not complaining, why is a movie star helping me?” Jessica asked him, biting her lip nervously.

“Well, for one you’re a lot of fun to talk to. Also, I’m learning a lot about event planning, which I imagine is useful, but my phone is dead, and my date abandon me,” he said, making a pouty face.

Jessica couldn't believe anyone would abandon this sweet, beautiful man, but she knew the bitch he was dating, so it wasn't a complete shock. She knew all about him.

You see, although Jessica was hiding it well if Bill knew her better, he knows she talked a lot when she was nervous. She was worried because she was 1000% a Bill stan and even had a Tumblr dedicated to him. So outside she was quirky and cool, inside she was losing her fucking mind and had died and been brought back to life like 50 times that evening.

”Use my phone.” she said, handing him her phone.

Bill took the phone and stared at it blankly.

”You can use my Uber account or google a cab. Or you probably only like limos huh? You can also rent a car, and they'll pick you up, or I can give you a ride in my awesome ass van, but that'll be quite some time since I have to get all the decor down. I don't have to clean or anything. Just get my shit and go.”

”you wouldn't mind?”

Jessica nearly fell over. Her mind raced as she thought about driving with Bill in her work van. It was taking all her power, not to fangirl the fuck out, but he was surprisingly easy going and seemed like he just wanted to be a normal person. ”No! You can help me carry stuff so there are fewer trips and we leave sooner.”

Bill didn't want to leave sooner, but he nodded, and they went around collecting everything, laughing and chatting. When it was time to go, Bill panicked at the thought of never seeing her again but reminded himself he had a girlfriend. He climbed in the van and told her the hotel he was staying at while she turned on her Spotify.

”Okay, so I have a girlfriend.” he blurted out.

”Not a very nice one, but to each his own I suppose. Don't worry tho Bill; I wasn't planning on taking advantage of you.” she quipped.

Bill blushed and asked, ”well can you text me your number, in case I ever need to decorate an event or need to laugh?”

She could not believe Bill motherfucking Skarsgard was asking for her number. She handed him her phone, to text himself and tried to focus on not swooning so hard, she crashed the van.

Soon she dropped him off at his hotel, and it wasn't until he was safely inside she screamed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill crawled in bed, and snuggled up to Jessica, happier than hed ever been in his life. She was the light to the dark, and as he watched the movie, listening to her commentary, singing along word for word to every song, he wondered how long was polite, to ask someone to marry them.

[iraniq]

Just kids’ stuff

planned part one: https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/167766473412/united

unplanned part two: https://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/182277422122/avalanche

definetly haven’t even thought abut it part tree:*read below* 

4:43

Daniel crying like it's the end of the world. Empty bed, since El, went to feed him. Warmth is back. 6:02 Rose stole Ava's blanket - fight. El wnet to separate them in 2 beds. Warmth is back.

7:12

Brandon went to ravish Niq's secret stash of sweets - she is having her mother's voice, that is currently echoing through all the walls in the house... Warmth isn't back yet.

7:37

Em went to check on Daniel and he is crying again... The sound is getting louder. She is caring him in the bedroom... Where is warmth to fix this...

10:03

Everyone are gathered for breakfast, dressed. Behaving... El had a nervous break down and yelled and cried. So Joker send her on a walk and took charge of the offspring for the day.  - So... - He looked at his children, positioned around the half circled table. - Why are you so mean to your mom? Ha! She ruined her pretty butt to bear you all... Show some respect, damn you! Niq was one eye and hand on her phone and she raised the other.  - I was...  - Shut it! You were the one who ruined her at 1st place.  - You were the one who got her pregnant. - she yelled, could she not have this annoying voice.  - I was around 20, I just wanted a scratch - he yelled back, hoping the rest won't get or worse, remember what her said - ... Anyway. - he compossed himself and fixed his hair. The older one sighed. He slammed his fist on the kitchen table and they all winced.  - Listen what... You either fix your bratty attitude, or I am calling you a 'hormonal behavior' till you turn 22. She mumbled "Fine", the rest were quiet and the baby was whimpering, trying to lick it's snot.  - Em! Fix the baby. The 7 years old, got a napkin and stole the snot, which made Daniel quite unhappy. The twince were moved on his both sides so they can make silly faces, so he could be quiet.  - Daddy, is it true you put us into mom's vagina? - Rose asked. Since Ava was busy with Daniel. Em chocked on her laugh when Niq kicked her to be quiet. Brandon, was falling asleep, since he wasn't digesting.  - Yes, do you have a problem with that.  - Well you shouldn't ... Since you dislike us. - the girl's eyes got watery.  - I don't dislike you... - he pinched the bridge of his nose. - I just hate when you make your mother sad.. She isn't here to be your slave. I hate when she is crying, and whoever makes her cry, will have a problem with me.... Even if that's you... - he pointed at all. - And I can be so much more than an idiot your mother laughs at... you got your jerkness form me, and you definitely don't want to see it back at you... I can be scary as hell, if I want to.. Ask your sister! - he pointed at the older one. There was this situation, several months before Niq turned 10, that one of the guards was way too... Interested in her well being. He even once sneaked in her room while she was taking a bath... After this day, the only person responsible for the kids is their mother, who has all variaties of guns needed... Even Em knows hot to use teaser and is always carting a pepper spray. And the youngsters know how to scream loud enough to awake 12 levels tall building. This was the main reason, today was the 1st day she raised her voice at her father... Since this particular day.  - So... You all properly behave, or I will be the one in charge and I won't let your mother save you from my wrath anymore. They all silently nodded and he served them breakfast. Niq got boiled vegetables and cheese with juice. Em got fruit salad with 2 pieces of dark chocolate. Brandon got 200grams of pure raw dried meat that he ravished like a wild animal. The twice got pancakes with honey. Daniel got a bottle of mom's morning milk. The whole day the kids actually had fun. Their dad was around all day. Reading papers and plans and writing and drawing something. When he was done, he let the kids color some of the shapes on a light blue map. They were all given a color and pointed a place to fill. Since they weren't exactly hungry, they had fruit and vegetable, their choice, each for lunch, after that they were let for 2 hours on their own to run and scream in the back yard. Niq was responsible to prevent fights. It was sunny and warm, so it was ok, no risk of getting sick. The baby was inside, on a swingy bed, that J rocked while working. They even had a bath together. The big Jacuzzi works perfect as a kids pool... If needed. Later they all needed a nap from exhaustion. Dad tuckled all in, on his yoga mattress. And kept on readibg while they all slept. At some point the twins woke up whining and went to sleep on dad's lap. Brandon was snoring and Em was kicking him, gently...  taking turns with Niq to cuddle Daniel. After dinner... And no protest form Niq's side about the meat. They even had time for yogurt desert, even the Joker ate, although it wasn't almond or soya milk. They mixed it with fruits and pieces of dark chocolate.

23:30

 - Hey baby! - Joker suddenly said.  - How you know? - El let out an half asleep and definitely exhausted whisper.  - I can recognize the steps of everyone in this house.  - How are the kids?  - Niq had an attitude at breakfast, but I shut her... Gosh, woman, she is so much like you... And not in the good way. El laughed. - Daniel was chasing the snot again... Several times... Almost got it! So close... But so far! - the Joker pretend a sad face and fake cry. - The twins had a fight over a fork again... Gave them spoons each, were very trilled. - he explained adjusting his glasses and continued the Sudoku. - Brandon ate Niq's meat for dinner, I pretend not to see, Em got whatever was left of Daniel's pumpkin... Thing. Babs, this shit looks gross, I feel the need to puke when I see it... Changing smelly diapers is a blessing... This baby foods looked like someone already ate it and disliked it and then puked it and...  - OK, got it... Next! - she slapped his shoulder.  - I finally managed to make a decent butterfly waffel. The twins were thrilled! Stared for several minutes before attack.  - How's Niq.  - Nice, since the other alternative is 'hormonal behavior'. El laughed.  - They were wild, and had light lunch.... 7... Finally!  - What?  - It's 7 here.  - I have no idea, Love. I suck at Sudoku... Don't remark on that! He chuckled.  - They had a nap and then movie and dinner and another movie and a national geographic about hiking while the dessert.  - Desert?  - Yes! I made it! - he sassily drank of his coffee.  - OH my...  - What are you doing woman... Why you hit me... - now he understood why El was craving to be alone even from him sometimes. These kids, just some lone time, for like 5min, without the annoying questions, attitude.  - Your milk is over... That one made "moo" at some point in it's life...  - Jesus woman... - he scrubbed the spilled coffee of his pants, visibly annoyed. - I know, I used yours.  - Mine?  - Yes... You are like a fuc... You are like a cow. Daniel can't possibly use all.  -  What?  - I made the pancakes with it. After the nap we had a cup with cocoa each, again of yours.... The yogurt... I put it into my coffee...  - It's Mother's milk! - El protested.  - So... It tastes good... No animal was hurt while... Gathering it. - he cleared his throat.  - Brilliant! - she raised her hands in the air, and her blood pressure was raising an well.  - Babs, Daniel puked twice today, although we have him bottle less of what you had prepared.  - Ok... - she said uninterested in the conversation and sat next to him, putting her feet in his lap, and ruining his Sudoku.  - Where were you?  - Hanged with Oz and Ed. They are so cute... Fancy mention, fancy clothes, fancy tea cups, no kids...  - No annoying husbands.  - Actually plenty of this. They both laughed.  - Come on, love... Daddy missed the kitten.  - J... That's why we have 6 kids..  - That's why we had 2! The other 4 were your fault... The twins know the V-word.  - Good, because they actually have one...  - Shush.... No such stuff for my kids. They are cute little babies. Please... I already have one hormonal child... With her... Hormones. - he raised his hands in the air and waved sacrcastically. - A matter of time to start pissing me with the boyfriend subject... - he growled displeased.  - I didn't heard you complaining the other day when she climbed to you kissing.  - I officially allow you to kill me the the day I whined about it. El smiked. They went to bed.

00:07

The warmth is back! ... until one of the 6 kids is awaken in several minutes ...

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