#He tells lies XD

[siixkiing]

@cosmicxblossoms {☯}

[Muse:Sun wukong] "Macaque what have you done?!"

"Whaaaaaat? I am behaving, I haven't done annnnnnnything to misbehave or cause mischief — nope. Totally didn't."

[ask-my-memoir]

The Zoroark starts on his way to collect his axe. As he is walking, his ears pick up on more rustling coming from in front of him.

It seems Kaine has revealed something about himself!

(Note to be added to character page!)

[ @ask-the-royal-absol ]

Thank you for the ask!))

[true-blue-sonic]

I came across a post on character flaws that states such flaws are extremes of a positive trait, and one example was "trusting: easily manipulated or distrustful". It got me thinking about the Rivals games, where I'd argue Silver possesses both extremes simultaneously. Namely, he'll trust you, if you say what he wants to hear and show a full willingness to cooperate. And if you don't, Silver will very flippantly brush you off and keep going his own way. There's a lot of situations in the Rivals games wherein he just doesn't tell people what's going on or runs off while they're questioning him, which makes them race or fight him in turn. Not exactly a situation to create trust between parties.

I find it really interesting how that comes into play with Espio, mostly. Espio is sent specifically to gather evidence about Silver kidnapping Chao, which is what he confronts Silver with partway through Rivals 2. Silver expresses confusion about Espio's incredulousness on why he's kidnapping the Chao precisely, and Espio indicates he trusts Silver; and with just one more question from Silver ("Are you going to help then, or keep getting in my way?") their team-up has commenced. But Silver has not at all verified if Espio is legitimate with his trust! He doesn't even ask what made Espio change his mind or anything of the sort; he immediately goes to Espio helping him out. Espio could easily have lied about trusting Silver to team up with him, all the while gathering evidence on him and having him right there to be stopped should the need arrive. And I wonder if that thought ever crossed Silver's mind, and how he would have reacted should he have found out Espio is specifically sent to gather evidence of a crime he's committing (which he himself doesn't see as a crime: he's stealing Chao to save the world). I find the discrepancy between "Silver will trust you without question if you fully commit yourself to his cause and agree with what he's saying" and "if you don't, Silver will just not listen to you in turn and keep doing his own thing" very interesting as a potential "easily manipulated" versus "distrustful" kind of character flaw. It could make for an interesting story of someone who does not have Espio's good intentions trying to get close to Silver in that way to harm him down the line; I wonder how long it would take for him to realise?

[veikkoalen]

marvel really just took lou and adapted him for mcu

[myogi-nightkids]

cryin'

[camellcat]

I know "rude-and-not-ginger" is ten's thing but I swear to god it applies to eleven so much more. that should be HIS joke nickname that man is a BITCH!!!! I love him but he's such a nasty little mean bitch

[howthesleeplesswander]

surprise starter for @greedbent bc I'm low-key foaming at the mouth for these two master manipulators to meet 👀👀💦

"Excuse me, I do hope this seat isn't taken." The cheerful velvet of Kaeya's voice eased through the chatter in the Cat's Tail. He offered a grin and brief thanks as he claimed an empty bar stool next to a man clad in all black. A stranger, technically, although Kaeya had his suspicions.

Once settled he flagged over a bartender, striking up easy conversation and ordering a glass of Dandelion Wine. Casual. An ordinary patron here for drinks and socializing. Certainly not here out of curiosity towards the "random" patron he'd sat beside. He was dressed down, forsaking the outer layers of his outfit for only his plain white shirt, and his Vision was hidden out of sight, tucked up inside billowing fabric. Better to keep his cards close to the chest at a time like this.

Kaeya didn't address the other man again. He continued chatting with the bartender as she poured his drink, which he then leisurely sipped as his gaze wandered the night's customers. Only when his eye trailed naturally to the one beside him did Kaeya pause, scrutinizing his features as if he'd just noticed anything peculiar.

"I don't think I've seen you in the Cat's Tail before," he remarked, paired with an easygoing smile. "Are you new to Mondstadt?"

[ginsoakedgirl80]

[theriu]

Tell me about Government Service Ninja!

(This is for my Mystery Character Ask Game!)

M. Government Service Ninja

Greg, 19-20 years old. The world he lives in is a fantasy realm, with magic and strange beasts and a kingdom where most professions are split up into big (or sometimes highly specific) Guilds. When I first came up with the story Greg was in, he was from the Ninja Guild, but I finally decided that was just a bit TOO silly for the story I wanted to tell. So now, Greg is a member of the Civil Servants Guild, which everybody knows about but no one really knows what they DO. They all seem like a bunch of harmless (if physically fit) civil servants.

They basically train special agents for the crown. Spies, secret agents, crown bodyguards, information-gatherers, and all those varieties. But not assassination and not what you'd normally consider "undercover work." Greg specializes in field recognizance - he is highly fit and agile (like a ninja!) to sneak into places, and his charming personality gives him a leg up in social settings for gathering info from unsuspecting people.

The Civil Servants Guild operates under a very strict policy of total honesty. There are certain truths you cannot tell, but you can divert, distract, allow people to draw incorrect assumptions, even just refuse to answer. The Civil Servants consider themselves a reflection of the crown's reputation, and the people should never trust a ruler who lies to them. Most people know they can expect a Civil Servant to be very honest, even if they can't always trust they understand their MEANING. Greg just goes the extra mile and tells everyone he's a secret agent of the crown, and of COURSE they just laugh it off as a “alright then keep your secrets” type joke because haha no one would just SAY that, right?

Bonus: I started a short story showing his background for the 2022 Inklings challenge. It's not finished yet, but you can read a bit about Little Greg and how he "joined" the Civil Servants Guild. =)

[hxzbinwrites]

Hi! I just saw that requests are open, yeah!! I'd like to request an Alastor x fem!Reader where Vox has a crush on her so he sends her a set of different tea flavor as a gift. The problem is that these contain a drug that inhibits the person (thanks, Valentino). Basically, his plan was to wait for her to drink the tea and then show up at the hotel and seduce her so he could have her for himself (my boy thinks she loves him, lol). The problem is that she had graciously offered the tea to Alastor, who drinks it. Vox asks her if she enjoyed the tea she lies saying it was delicious so he immediately shows up at the hotel but ends up finding Alastor who is being super affectionate with her, revealing his true feelings for her. Eventually Alastor attacks Vox as soon as he sees him forcing the other to flee. Fluff and comedy, basically. xD

Alastor x Fem! Reader x Vox | Tea Time Troubles

Warnings ⚠️:  Cussing, drugs, controlling and manipulative Vox, out of character Alastor.

"I dunno 'bout this Voxxy" Valentino said, handing him a baggie of the drug, a weak aphrodisiac lining the walls of the bag.

"Don't worry about me Valentino, I'll be fine" Vox reassured him, holding the bag up to his screened face. He smirked deviously as he put his hands behind his back.

"But you tell me all the time 'bout 'public image' and all that shit." Valentino retorted, crossing his lower arms against his stomach.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about it Honey" Vox sneered, rubbing his cheek in a falsely affectionate way. "Vox is a big boy and can handle himself. I just gotta put this into some tea bags. (Y/n) WILL be MINE."

"Ugh" The moth groaned, taking a puff of his cigar,"She's not even worth it. She hangs out with radio, fossil trash. If she was good shed know who to choose. Besides, I'm better than she is, right?"

"You're wrong." Vox said, his left eye radiating hypnotizing waves out of anger,"(Y/n) is perfect. She's everything, and she will be mine."

Vox's demonic laughter could be heard across the building, sending chills down anyone who heard it's spine.

--------

"Honey!!" (Y/n) exclaimed, holding up the box of tea that arrived at their house,"Your tea shipment came!"

Alastor, who was reading the paper at the kitchen table, looked over to see his dear (Y/n) carrying two large cardboard boxes.

He teleported over, making his shadows place them atop of the counter. His keen eyes narrowed at the second box, seemingly almost identical to the first one.

"How peculiar!" Alastor said, tapping his cane on the second box, almost poking it as if it was a foreign object.

"What's peculiar about it?" The fellow deer demon asked, peering over at the box her partner was so intrigued by.

"I did not order two shipments of tea from the catalogue this month!" He replied, his smile tightening in irritation. Could someone be trying to plant something in this hotel? Trying to hurt any of his friends, his beloved, or him?

"Maybe it's a promo box?" (Y/n) suggested,"I mean, you are a loyal customer of theirs. Maybe they want you to try a new product, I hear that's the new rage."

"Ah" Alastor replied, walking closer to the counter to rip open the second box to be met with a letter and a large box of tea.

"Thank you for your loyalty Mr. Alastor. We're reaching out to our most loyal customers to give this Promo box to! We're asking that you try our newest flavor, a (your favorite flavor) but with a twist! Despite the erratic sounds at night in Hell, this tea should help you fall right asleep! If you enjoy it, please promote so on your beloved Radio Show!"

"I was right!" The doe said, looking up at her partner,"They must've given it to you because they know you're famous and can promote their tea! Very smart people, I wanna try one tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Why not today my doe?" Alastor said, looking down at his partner.

"My stomach isn't feeling the best. Charlie's cake wasn't fully cooked through, but I didn't want to be rude and not eat it. Especially because no one else was!"

Alastor chuckled, petting her sensitive ears. "Now now (Y/n), you should've listened to me! I know all!"

"Al..." She said, batting her eyes up at him,"Do you mind trying it for me? I wanna know if it's good, but I don't want to throw up in my sleep!"

"Why should I?" He inquired, smirking down at (Y/n). "It seems like this predicament could've been easily avoided my little doe! Hahaha!"

"Please" She softly asked, smiling at him back.

"I suppose I can try one cup of it." He said, sitting down at the table, fully expecting (Y/n) to make him the cup as he finished reading his paper.

She giggled at him and began to start the kettle. Moments like these can't be replaced, a docile and homey moment between the two of them. (Y/n) loved seeing this side of him. The Alastor side of him, not the Radio Demon.

(Y/n) opened the smaller box that was enclosed in the large one, picking out the first tea bag. She smelled the bag, the fumes of blended herbs wafting in her nostrils. It smelled lovely, she would've to drink one alongside Alastor.

But she held back on picking up another bag, knowing its sleeping effects. (Y/n) really didn't want to throw up while in her sleep, and potentially on Alastor, who would be as knocked out as her.

Sighing, she finished preparing the tea, pouring it in Alastor's favorite teacups, the one (Y/n) gifted him on their second anniversary many years ago.

She walked back over to him, placing the teacup on his saucer, putting the sugar cube in as well.

"Thank you dearest" Alastor said, his eyes skimming over the newspaper,"I shall be in our room in a moment, why don't you go ahead and get in your nightwear?"

"Alrighty" (Y/n) replied, patting the back of Alastor's chair. That was something the two of them did, (Y/n) knew when to touch Alastor and when to not. Still wanting to show him affection, she'll pat an object close to him.

Alastor gave her a soft smile before returning his focus to the newspaper.

The doe walked up the stairs in the hotel to their shared room. She got in her fluffy pajamas, completed each and every step to her skincare routine, and crawled into bed with a book.

The silence was only broken by the occasional turn of a page, this was (Y/n)‘s daily quiet time, as Alastor liked to read the paper before turning in for the night.

This normally is for about an hour, but tonight it was a mere 30 minutes as the door busted open.

The doe yelped, her skittish nature causing her to flinch at the sudden jolt of noise. Her partner flittered into the room before crawling on top of her, his eyes droopy from the affect.

“Hi sugar” He said, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His ears were pressed against his head as he affectionately nuzzled (Y/n). Alastor grabbed her waist and flipped her on top of him, allowing him to bring her closer to his body, her chest atop of his.

“Al-Alastor?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, tensing up. What has gotten into him!? He’s not one to ever make such…bold advances.

“Oh my love” He said, a dreamy lilt in his voice,”you’re just perfection incarnate. Such a lovely little fawn you are.”

Blushing heavily, she let him rest himself on her, snuggling contently. It was rather peaceful, she did not know where this sudden chance of behavior came from, but it certainly wasn’t the worst by far.

(Y/n)’s ears perked up hearing a notification sound ding from her phone. She slowly grabbed it to check what it was.

Alastor was not very keen on allowing this sort of technology in the house, especially knowing Vox is over all of it. So they made a compromise, he’d take out the camera and microphone and she could have the phone.

Seeing it was a message from Vox, she opened it.

Vox: “Hey sweetheart, I pulled a few strings and got a shipment of some new tea of (your favorite flavor) that was being tested. How did you like it baby?”

(Y/n): Oh, it was good, thanks!

Vox: Just good? You sure sweet stuff? Wasn’t it so good you could just kiss the lips off of the person who got it for you?

(Y/n) sighed, shutting her phone off and curling up with her lover.

“I think that’s a yes!” Vox said, throwing his hands in the air ceremoniously. He quickly put on his best bow tie, in hopes it would get taken off by fingers other than his, and made his way towards the Hazbin Hotel.

————

Vox searched through each room until he found the one you and Alastor shared.

He scowled at the door, seeing a heart with the initials scribed on it “(Y/i) + A”

Pathetic. He could give you so much more than that. He could give you the most advanced technological sign known to mankind just for some silly initials, not some shitty hard with nearly illegible handwriting.

He opened the door, his signature smirk dropping as he saw Alastor, his arch nemesis (in Vox’s eyes) peppering small little kisses all over (Y/n)‘s face, making her giggle.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vox yelled, his face was blue-screening.

Alastor took one look at the fellow Overlord and let out a long string of laughter, sitting up as he pulled (Y/n) into his lap.

“Vox?! What are you doing here?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO DRINK THE TEA!! AND THEN YOU’D BE MINE!!”

Alastor hooked a arm around (Y/n)‘s waist, looking at his opponent across the room.

“This is my doe, my love, and we all know if she would’ve drank the tea, she would’ve always chosen me.”

Lets just say, the power around the Pride Ring went out after that comment.

————

Word Count 1,524

[hrhprincerichard]

Steven,

Ha! Grant almost got a tattoo when Cora and I were both out of the country so you never know. What even would you get a face tattoo of? I'm glad it made you laugh. I miss your laugh. You're welcome. I only wish I could find out something for you sooner.

Really? That means a lot. I feel like you'd be much more diplomatic if you hated it or found it silly. I'll probably end up telling Cora and Grant about it before hand. Get some advice from my professor. But that's probably it. Just surprise everyone and hope my mom doesn't arrange an 'accident' and destroy the book. I'll be happy to give you an autograph, if it gets published. Maybe if you want you could read the final draft? Thanks again for the support. I'm a little nervous but excited so it's nice to have finally told someone.

Ha! I'm glad. Would you believe they're actually pretty normal? And our hangouts are also lowkey coffee hangouts. Thank you. I was a little worried but it does feel like we're finally moving away from that. Boys will be boys and knock down very expensive cakes I guess. But Grant has a real friend again. It's been so wonderful to see.

May

May,

Oh my God, imagine if he was hiding a face tattoo. That would explain a lot. I'd probably flee the country and never come back if I impulsively got a face tattoo. Don't be sorry, I needed the laugh. Thanks for helping. It means a lot knowing you're on my team.

May, I think that's a fantastic idea! Am I really the first person you're telling about this? Do you think you'll mention me at all? And it's not egotistical at all to want to share your story. Like you said, people are going to write about it anyways. And you have accomplished a lot. And you have a perspective no one else does and you deserve to share it, to shape your narrative how you want to for once. And I know people will want to hear it, and I think they'd learn a lot from you. I know I always have. I think you should trust your gut here. Ask forgiveness not permission. Tell the story you want to tell, how you want to tell it. I'll be the first guy in line for an autographed copy.

Ha! Of course I believe it, I didn't think D.C. and London changed you that much. Other than you hang out with actual royalty now. You seem to be getting close with the prince I'm glad everything's worked out after the cake thing.

Steven

[writersdrug]

Kinda wanna know what happened with reader's bra. Like did bartender!Simon just keep it ? XD

Well... he told himself he wasn't going to touch it. And for a while, he didn't. It sat there, slung over the back of his chair, taunting him whenever he was in his room.

He was trying to be a good coworker; he wanted to wash it before returning it to you, but then he had to ask - how do you wash a bra? Can he just throw it in the machine with his other clothes and hope for the best? No, he has too many black shirts - your pink lace would probably turn grey if he washed them together.

He used the excuse of needing time to research how to wash a bra, justifying putting it off for so long (let's face it, this was some mission impossible shit); but eventually, you asked him if you could have it back.

Fuck.

He was honest with you, saying he wanted to wash it clean of the alcohol it had been drenched in, he just didn't know how - he left out the part where he was procrastinating purely because he didn't want to let go of it (he hasn't even admitted that to himself).

You tell him it's simple: cold water, delicate, toss it into one of those bra bags you get on Amazon, and any detergent will do. Just don't put it in the dryer, it'll make it shrink. "It's simple, really. I can just take it home and wash it."

Fortunately, you forget to ask for it again at the end of your shift. It's still on the chair in his room, facing him as he lies on his bed, fresh out the shower.

It looks uncomfortable. Doesn't the lace rub against your nipples? Is this your favorite bra, or one you don't really care about? He's trying his hardest not to think about how it looks on you, but he can't stop staring at the damn thing. He's wondering if you have a matching pair of panties, not stopping himself as his hand reaches down to massage his balls; a deep, heavy sigh escapes his lips as he wraps a hand around his shaft and slowly pumps himself. His head falls back against the pillows as he thinks of you, lying on his bed and letting him cum all over your tits. One wank can't hurt, right?

Wrong.

Fifteen minutes later, he's shooting cum all over your bra where it lies on the bed, a deep groan leaving his throat as he keeps pumping his cock, nearly choking it with his grip. The mental image of his dick sliding between your breasts fades away, and he's left with that familiar loneliness; an ache to crush you against his chest and keep you there all night.

He collapses onto his back and pants, cheeks flushed and eyes hazy. He grabs his phone and starts looking for that bra bag you were talking about, reminding himself that he still needs to wash your cum-stained shirt, too.

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

[ckret2]

What's your stance on Ford as a person? Honestly, I believe that for thr majority of canon he is a bad person. But I believe he grew. Still not great though XD

(Love him anyways obvs)

I disagree entirely! I think he's equally as good a person as any of the other main cast.*

*Except Mabel, who, as we all know, is always right about everything.**

(**This is a lighthearted joke. For the love of god, I don't want Mabel discourse in my inbox.)

His biggest sins in the show:

After telling his brother that he was thinking about changing their shared life plans, and then discovering that his brother had gone to the high school that night for no good reason and gone to the science fair for no good reason and messed around near Ford's science project for no good reason and broke it and didn't tell Ford about it... Ford believed Stan did it intentionally and held a grudge for it. You know what, it WOULD be pretty damn hard to believe it was an accident.

Hilariously ill-equipped to cope with Fiddleford's mental health. A guy who responds to "I have anxiety" with "have you tried yoga, it helps me" isn't a bad person, he's clueless. "Character cheerfully enacts a bad idea while a loved one in the background goes NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" describes half the episodes of Gravity Falls.

Was successfully manipulated by a professional manipulator into believing his best friend wished him ill. Man, what a terrible person Ford is for being manipulated by a manipulator and saying cruel things to somebody he'd been genuinely convinced was trying to harm him.

??? Didn't say thanks to a guy he was still mad at after the guy fixed a problem he himself had caused. This is a solitary example of stubborn bad etiquette, jesus christ. There's half a dozen different reasons why it makes perfect sense Ford wasn't in the right mindset to feel grateful, this is not something worth indicting his entire character over.

He had high ambitions, which everyone seems to lambast him for, but high ambitions that wouldn't have required doing anybody harm! (Until the professional manipulator started manipulating him into harming the people around him, but we are going to demonstrate some reading comprehension and not blame Ford's underlying morality as a person for things he never would've done if not for Bill's bullying, con artistry, and outright lies.) Like, what is it that he wanted to do with his life? Use his talents to get rich and famous? Shit, that's exactly what Stan wanted to do with his life. It's what Dipper fantasizes about doing with his life. Even Mabel, who thinks about her long-term future the least, dreams big with her art & performances and is already making big money off cheap-ass commissions. What terrible people they all are, for—let me check my notes here—uhhh... unrealistically fantasizing about achieving success in life by doing the things they're good at.

When their dad accuses Stan of lying as a child, Ford puts his entire summer on the line to defend Stan even though he knows Stan is a habitual liar and has no reason to believe Stan is telling the truth this time.

When his new college roommate he barely even knows gets laughed at for proposing an outlandish scientific theory, his first emotion is outrage at this injustice and he drops everything to convince his already-despondent roommate that he was right and help him prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

When he moves to a new town, he tries again and again to befriend his new neighbors, and fails not because he's rude or a jerk, but because he's awkward as hell, tells terrible jokes, and sucks at identifying phoenixes.

When Fiddleford gets hurt around him, he cares about it, feels guilty about putting him in that position, doesn't want it to happen again, and tries his best to help even though he's bad at helping.

When he gets kidnapped by a weird holiday folklore creature, he concludes without even thinking about it that he's now in charge of protecting and rescuing the kidnapped kids. Yeah, then he immediately starts hollering at the folklore creature for trying to impose his religious beliefs on Ford and the kids—but like, Ford was right tho, he just had bad timing.

When he discovers that the Northwest family committed atrocities against their poorer neighbors a century ago, his first instinct is to march up to their house, find the first Northwest he can locate, and give them a piece of his mind for it. Like, this won't even FIX anything. He's just THAT OUTRAGED over the injustice.

When he sees what he thinks is a fortune telling fraud conning the people, he attempts to debunk her because he's mad to see someone cheating other people with lies—and when he can't debunk her, he just leaves her alone rather than harass her about it. Typically, if assholes think somebody's doing something wrong but don't have any proof of it and fail to get proof when they look, they decide they're right anyway and keep giving that person shit. Ford doesn't give her shit. That's the opposite of an asshole move.

When he discovers his Portal To Knowledge (And Fame & Fortune) is actually a Portal To Doom (But Still Possibly Fame & Fortune, Maybe Even Godly Power), he isn't tempted for a second to keep working on it anyway. There is no moment where Bill manages to tempt him. No matter what Bill offers, no matter how long Bill offers, never, at ANY point, does Ford have a SECOND of "but what if I did make a deal with the devil?" the way so many heroes in similar situations often do.

You ever notice that? So often moral moments in the show are presented as choices the characters make. Will or won't Dipper give Bill a "puppet" in exchange for knowledge. Will or won't Stan fight a pterodactyl to protect Mabel's pig. Will or won't Mabel hand Bipper the journal. Ford is never given a "will or won't he" moment over Bill's threats, offers of friendship, or offers of infinite power—he steamrolls straight past them without a second of consideration—because, to him, the selfish, cowardly, easy choice ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION. He doesn't even SEE it as making a choice because the possibility of doing the wrong thing is invisible. A character who wavers first before turning Bill down would look more noble for "overcoming" temptation—it's harder to notice just how much stronger Ford's moral compass must be to not even feel temptation in the first place.

Greed and pride never tempt him to join Bill's side. Exhaustion, despair, and fear never tempt him to give up. He bears up under weeks, possibly months of extreme sleep deprivation, physical torture, psychological torture, emotional torture, threats of death, threats of brainwashing, threats to his family. He doesn't hold up so that he can pat himself on the back for being a hero—if that was all it was he would've gone "screw it, this isn't worth it and nobody would know I'm the one who gave up" a week in—he does it because he simply knows it must be done and because he's so isolated (half because of Bill's influence!) that he believes he's the one who must do it, all alone.

Thinking he has to do it by himself isn't egotism or pride; it's helplessness. He thinks no one else stands a chance. He thinks he's alone.

And, when he discovers his Portal To Knowledge is a Portal To Doom, he immediately feels guilty. No trying to deny the situation to protect his ego. No shuffling the blame off to someone else. No "maybe the apocalypse could have a silver lining!" No locking the door and trying to ignore the problem. He blames himself for being fooled—he IMMEDIATELY takes full responsibility for his actions—and he CONTINUES to take responsibility FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS.

He takes more responsibility than is even warranted—he treats himself like he's an idiot for believing in an APPARENT GOD who's been practicing manipulating humans for thousands of years and who had never given Ford reason to believe the portal was anything but what Bill said it was. He beats himself up to no end every single time his past with Bill comes up. He even keeps beating himself up thirty years later when he's shoving warning notes to future readers in Bill's evil unkillable book!

When he falls into the multiverse, he dedicates his entire life NOT to finding a way to rescue himself, but to finding a way to permanently stop the CHAOS GOD who's still at the threshold of destroying Ford's world and countless others. He makes himself a hated criminal in the process, just to stop Bill. He's ready to spend the rest of his life trying to protect a world he doesn't think he'll ever see again. He does it because, as he sees it, somebody has to stand in between the children and the obnoxious folklore cryptid menacing them, and he's the only adult in this damn cave with the skills and knowledge for the job.

When he gets home, he doesn't tell his family about Bill and his quest because he's afraid that doing so will get them involved and endanger them too—and because he's too deeply ashamed of himself and his mistakes to stand the thought of his family knowing about the horrible things he's done (AGAIN, WHILE BEING MANIPULATED BY THE GOD OF MANIPULATION).

He loves his great-niece and great-nephew the second he lays eyes on them; he nevertheless tries to steer away from them to keep them safe from Bill; and yet he caves to the very first temptation to emotionally bond with his great-nephew he gets, because in spite of his noble "keep them safe" intentions, he wants so so badly to be close to his family.

As pissed as he still is at Stan and even though neither of them can look at each other without hissing like cats, he still makes an attempt to start bridging their divide by inviting him to play DD&MD.

When the apocalypse happens, he immediately puts his life on the line to try to kill Bill.

And when he's captured, isn't fazed for a second by Bill's offers or threats... until his family is threatened. The exact thing he'd been trying to avoid & prevent from the very start.

And when he's reunited with Fiddleford, his immediate reaction is to point out that Fiddleford's well within his rights to hate him—which isn't a new revelation, it's not like Ford had to do any soul-searching to reach this conclusion, he'd concluded that 30 years ago the instant he realized Bill had played him and that he'd been lied to about Fiddleford.

And then he tries to kill Bill again.

And then he's ready to sacrifice his own life to kill Bill—and the only reason he doesn't is because he has a metal plate preventing him from making the sacrifice... but, Stan doesn't have a plate. If Ford hadn't had the metal plate, he would have gladly done the exact same thing Stan did—and he would have thought it was right for him and only him to make that sacrifice, because it's VERY clear he feels (and has felt from the start) that this is all his fault and he's obligated to fix it.

Over and over and over, these are Ford's two defining character traits: getting so pissed off at injustice that his common sense shuts off and he goes into terminator mode until he's righted this wrong as best he can, even when he can't actually do anything about it; and feeling like he's Atlas, weighed down with the full responsibility of fixing everything he's done wrong and made to believe that, for everyone else's sake, he has to do it all alone. Even when doing so puts himself in harm's way, even when he has to put his entire life on hold for it, even if it might cost him his life. Scrape off his awkward social skills, his loneliness, his nerdiness, his endless curiosity, his zealous love of the strange, his starry ambitions, his yearning for recognition and success—scrape his personality down to the bone and that's what you're left with. A man who believes in defending the exploited so strongly that it makes him a little stupid.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you probably don't think Stan's fundamentally a bad person, and that you probably think that isn't even worth questioning. Stan's made a whole career out of swindling people, conning them out of as much money as he possibly can, stealing, lying, committing a long list of goofily-named crimes, and attempting douchy pick-up artistry on women; and to cap it all off, he held the safety of the entire universe hostage to demand a goddamn "thank you." Don't send me any "But he had reasons—" "But it was only to—" I don't need it, I don't want the essay, I'm not arguing that Stan's a bad guy, it's fine.

But. You can look at Stan's moments of cruelty and unkindness, his uncharitable thoughts, his character flaws, and think, "that doesn't define him. He's more than his cruelest moments and worst mistakes. He's imperfect, but he cares so much and his heart's in the right place, and beneath all the flaws his core is good."

And if you can't do the same for Ford, it's not because he's a worse person. It's because we got two seasons with Stan and five and a half episodes with Ford—and while we saw Stan yearning to fish with the kids or encouraging Mabel to whoop Pacifica's butt at minigolf or crying over a black and white period drama or punching zombies to save his family, we only saw Ford at the worst moments in his life and under the stress of a prolonged apocalyptic crisis—and, it so happens, all the moments he was pissed at the guy we spent two seasons learning to love.

Ford's got moments of cruelty and unkindness, uncharitable thoughts, and character flaws. But, at his core, he's a good person, and he always has been, and he still is.

[hyog-blog]

Ah, not the boyz talking about Qiu Qingzhi's relationship with Yi Zhihua! I'm all for it, Yi Zhihua's fixation on QQZ was so-so obvious from the very start of their weird relationship.

But it's just like Wang Xichao said, Yi Zhihua has been tamed by Qiu Qingzhi in many ways (he was caught and dominated at the very beginning in that desert, not to mention that it was QQZ's blood that brought him to life). Yep, there are definitely some attachment issues right there. And then there's Li Bing, and QQZ is pretty much fixated on that cat only, which must have made YZH go slightly mad with the feelz. Mind you, he hasn't had anyone even close to a friend for his whole life.

It's a weird possessive feral-animalistic-kitty-cat love rectangle, I'm telling you, guys, with Qiu Qingzhi in the middle of it all XD With a huge possibility of becoming a throuple. Qiu Qingzhi would never have died *in the reality of my head-canon* YZH adored him too much /in his own cray-cray way/ and would have totally saved him despite Li Bing being there. Even more than that, I imagine Li Bing would shout at him angrily to go and turn QQZ right now to save the other man's life. Like, for real, why not just be a big happy kitty-cat family? XD

from Wei Zheming's 20240310 livestream

Any mistakes are my own.

[theeldermillennial]

THIS ENTIRE INTERACTION IS SO PURE

"I'm like you now....a Demon!"

("You precious, precious little cherub...")

*heart shattered*

(can't even) "Sorry! Sorry!" XD

(so innocent)

"You really think you're a demon?"

(complete toddler meltdown) "I'm a Fallen Angel!"

("Ohh, he actually believes he's going to Hell. Alright...let's de-escalate things a bit.")

"I LIED...to thwart the Will of God!" (this poor lamb)

"Well yeah, you did but...I'm not going to tell anyone. Are you?"

(You sweet, precious, dear, little cinnamon roll . It's going to be okay. Bildad the Shuhite is guarding over you.)

"Well....then nothing has to change!"