#He learned it from his Grandma
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one-of-many-mothmen · 1 year ago
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The reason no one said anything to Jon about being a dick in S1 is because he has a I'm-Not-Mad-I'm-Just-Dissapointed face that makes you admediatly regret whatever you did.
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starcurtain · 2 months ago
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Just caught up with Natlan's archon quest and lord help me, I have a burning need to see Alhaitham and Ororon interact.
I truly feel that they would vibe perfectly. Not in a ship way, but like, in the way of Kaveh quietly wailing: "For archons' sake, he's brought another tacky thing into the house. Traveler, please do something; they've been staring eye to eye over the coffee table for like an hour now but haven't said a single word. I don't know what to do. Send help."
#genshin impact#alhaitham#ororon#they can bond over being raised by their grandmas!!#Ororon will bring his best aphid to share#Alhaitham will get Ororon some gardening book recommendations from Tighnari#this is how I get Ororon some gay uncles to go with his granny#look do I fully understand that the lore says Natlanese people can't leave Natlan?#yes#do I care?#no#insert “People with incomplete souls can go where they want” lore apologia here#okay here's how it happens#Ororon learns that his garden is infected by a rare and dangerous fungus that will kill all his precious vegetables#if he doesn't find a cure#so even though he doesn't have the protection of the Wayob and it is very risky#he takes off (without telling his granny... oops...) to the land of dendro to search for a way to fight the fungus#but with an incomplete soul he's even more vulnerable to the abyss's effect on Natlanese people#and ends up pretty much face down in a sand dune in the desert#Alhaitham on a research trip ends up finding him and lugging him back to Sumeru City#Kaveh is screeching internally; “You can't just kidnap unconscious people Alhaitham!”#“This is a person not a stray dog!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE HIM TO THE BIMARSTAN!”#“I figured you'd handle it.”#“You figured I--you--that *I* would handle it?!”#“What am I going to do Alhaitham?? Draw blueprints on his face until he wakes up?!”#“That worked on me once.” “YOU'RE THE WORST--”#“Are you two arguing because of me? I'm sorry...”#“DON'T APOLOGIZE ON ALHAITHAM'S BEHALF RANDOM STRANGER!”#“Okay. I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry.”#“AUGH!!!”
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weepingtalecowboy · 3 months ago
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Fanfic prompt: after phantom hourglass wind noticed a shade who follows him everywhere and then found out that the shade was there since his birth
Because apparently it was hanging out around his family for decades
It also tells him about his ancestor
The hero of the four swords
And also the hero of the minish
And how the world looked like before the flood
How it befriended the hero
And how the shade sacrificed itself for his friend
Wind absolutely loves to hear about the hero and how he has the other's shield
And the world before the flood
The shade also has a lot of stories about his grandma as a child
And many other ancestors he never got to meet
The shade unfortunately never told him it’s name so wind calls it his grandpa (because obviously a shade this dedicated to stay is a close friend of the family and can be considered a family friend)
The shade just starts sobbing
But he lets him call him that
They spend his 13 birthday together and the entire family knows him already (because wind can't shut up to save his life)
Then linked universe happens and wind and four have the most awkward relationship to ever exist
Because wind kind of knows the other's entire life story and absolutely nothing is a secret (his grandpa couldn’t shut up about Vio or the split or how awesome he was breaking the mirror)
And four is awkwardly keeping secrets
But wind after talking to his grandpa decides to tell him anyway
It kind of works out
When they end up in Wild's Hyrule and shadow gets back to live
Wind is more than happy to actually interact with him
And after ending up in his Hyrule the whole family just went and hugged him because now they can see it
He stays behind because he did promise himself to watch out over the family so wind leaves without shadow
Four doesn’t find out till they switch again and end up at grandma's house
Then he starts staring in sheer shock and then stares some more and a bit more
Those were the most awkward minutes in his entire life
Then shadow has the audacity to ask him if his grand son wants tea
And the entire chain snaps out the trance and tries attacking him
The face the entire chain made when wind called him his great grandpa and hugged him
And the face four made when he realized the implications of THAT
Were worth pure gold (rupees)
The aftermath was something else entirely
The chain :*seeing a dark and preparing for combat*
Wind by accident : “I am about to ruin this chains whole career”
Shadow on absolute purpose: “Embrace the power of gaslighting”
Four : *dies of awkward*
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iiinkos · 13 hours ago
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me: i don’t think martin had a lot of time or money to dedicate to his hobbies, nor do i think he had this many
artist braincell: but like. martin with hobby. prettyyyy
me: damn right you are let’s get this boy some yarn
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fisheito · 1 year ago
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i wonder if yakumos grandparents gave him so much soup bc it's something that can safely be swallowed whole by a small child who doesn't have the full chewing instinct...... don't have to break out the crowbar to wrench the entire chicken out of your babys mouth when you have liquefied the chicken
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Gasp... brilliant... not only is soup an expedited form of warm... it is also (generally) choke free
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months ago
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another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie
#and it's the real thing not even a knockoff#kinda surprised they still exist#but also not surprised bc Blanket. blanket is universal#i just remember a lot of those As Seen On Tv ads like. imploding within 5 years#they still do As Seen On Tv products like there are still boxes marked with that logo it almost feels wrong like an ancient relic#bc most like. ubiquitous 2000s brands from my childhood are just Gone or at least so fundamentally changed it's not the same thing#heard about like 50 more companies going bankrupt probably in the last year alone#anyway ive always wanted a snuggie it's one of those Always Wanted things that never go away#others include: staples easy button (obtained!); mini fridge (not); pillow pet (i had a knockoff once); power drill (not)#i spent a surprising amount of my childhood actually going out of my way to buy stuff i could use in my own apartment in the future#i grew up lower middle class and then just lower class#so like. i always Knew i couldn't just furnish the whole apartment at once i Knew I'd have to build stuff up over time#also bc when my sister got kicked out she had like. nothing. in her trailer. and i did not want to have nothing#i knew if dad was willing to just toss out my sister like that i would absolutely follow suit#and i did! two years younger than my sister when she was!#it just happened that my mom didn't want me homeless at FOURTEEN when i legally could not work for two more years#so she went with me and we lived with my grandma#so take that dad. turns out throwing family members out willy nilly makes the rest of your family not trust you or like you!#and now i get to rub it in his face that HE can't function in a house by himself and still needs to beg my mom to clean up after him#bc i spent so much of my childhood getting berated and called lazy for not doing chores#getting told stuff like 'you have to function by yourself your parents can't always pick up after you'#and then he's literally useless without his wife#he's not disabled and he's not neurodivergent he's never even had a serious health scare he just doesn't bother to learn how to clean#his excuse is that he doesn't know how to use the washer and dryer (it has been almost ten years fucker. learn)#or he doesn't know which cleaning products to use (you have google and a library card. LOOK IT UP)#he's the only person i get mad at for this behaviour bc he's a fucking hypocrite and a child abuser about it too#he is the exception to my rule of everyone needs to be given the space to get things done where they're able and deserve help when needed#and I'll bend over backwards to make excuses for other people so i DONT exclude them from my rule i will try to find every good reason first#he has no fucking excuse though he made two teenagers nearly homeless bc he thought we were too lazy and then he's even worse
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jackredfieldwasmyjacob · 1 year ago
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we just went through some family albums and. enjoy my grandma being cunty at my parents' wedding
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dannybobany · 7 months ago
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Its become a life goal of mine to make an omori mod one day all about Basil- I have so many ideas about him that I want to make a reality
:( but I literally don’t have access to a computer so while I’d love to write for a mod and draw art for a mod, making it playable would be impossible for me to do
But if I ever had the chance I would do it so so fast man, I think Basil deserves a backstory and I have a really good idea of what I would want it to be- listen if anyone out there is thinking of making an omori mod about Basil I want to help so bad you don’t even get it i want there to be more content about him so bad :(
I think about my hypothetical Basil mod all the time I want it to be real so bad
I might go draw some portraits…
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viridianwins-a · 10 months ago
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genshin cooking event spoilers
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//GOOD. he can tell his wife he loves her in at least 20 languages. got it.
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sluttyten · 2 years ago
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Y’all… the last person I was worried about seeing my septum piercing wants to see me tomorrow so wish me luck that I can actually flip it (and get it back down, like the ring seems tight)
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deepspaceclawstation · 1 year ago
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I have to visit the great uncle (grand uncle technically but english kinship terms are weird that way) who doesn't like me (and once tried to convince me (a 25 year old) that a high-pitched sound has a low frequency) today so wish me luck I guess
#Like. it's fine to be annoyed by me I'm very annoying I admit#I even understand dislike when it's based on characters or behaviours I actually have or exhibit#But like. I don't really get why he doesn't like me when he likes my parents so much#I try to match his energy and sense of humour#and not to toot my own horn but I am good to him and his family I think or at least I try#Like. he has worse...nieflings? great nieflings?#My family is the only one from our branch who visits and doesn't make a nuisance of ourselves#And like. It's still cool to like hate me or whatever based on vibes alone but keep that shit to yourself#At least pretend to be civil#Not that he's hostile or anything but he keeps asking me like. 10th grade physics questions (and being wrong about the answers)#Or ignoring my contributions to the conversation#Like. dude we have so many common interests. we are both engineers. we both learned to play keyboard (very badly). we both sew.#we are both interested in diy#At least pretend to get along like my grandma who hates me does (other side of the family)#Personal#Sorry I keep using this site like a diary but I also think it is kind of funny that people hate me#Like if you met me irl you'd not even notice me I'm really a blend into the background kind of guy#I don't understand how I could even inspire such a strong reaction as hate like a mild dislike is fine but hate??#Except my grandma though. she hates me because she hates my mom and thinks she is an evil mastermind. I hope I was kidding#Also she thinks I am not as good as her other grandson who is much more successful. okay that's true but not grounds for hate lol#I kind of know why they hate me. but I kind of want to still give them the benefit of the doubt because I'm an idiot at heart
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zeramorphosis · 2 years ago
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I saw a headcanon that because jon grew up with his grandma he must know how to knit and i winced bc as someone who also grew up with a grandma who didnt like them i can probably say for sure jon knows no such thing LOL
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bazelgeuce · 6 months ago
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I can't sleep :(
Rant in tags it's long
#i didnt want to but like i didnt really have a choice#i feel like an asshole in this situation even though Objectively i'm not#but it's because i'm 99% sure i burned bridges for bf too not just me#this would be an angry brother posting but. this isn't about how much i dislike the guy it's about how much i CARE#if your partner's brother was drunk as hell would you hide the key to his bike?#would you try to prevent his grandma from telling him she found it; knowing that she knows he's shitfaced?#knowing they'll give him the key and let him drive away?#knowing they'll forget that this is not the first time and won't be the last? that he crashes the bike at least once every 2 weeks#knowing that they're denying what drunk looks like due to past trauma with alcoholism (not the issue but relevant)#if your partner's brother was drunk; obtained the key; put it in the ignition threatening to drive somewhere ON A FUCKING BIKE#would you call the cops? because i did. i know acab and all but like.#do i just let him drive away and crash for possibly the double digit-th time? definitely can count it on two hands#do i let him drive away drunk and possibly never come back?#do i let that come to pass? i literally would never forgive myself. i dont even like the guy but i dont wish ill upon him#we tried so hard to prevent her from telling him. we really did. i know she was trying to calm him down but like. idk man#i feel fucked up and i dont know why#i wasn't trying to put him in jail i was trying to save his life. not that he would believe me or care#unfortunately for him his bike was against him. it is visually fucked up and battered and you can Tell it's been crashed multiple times#but what makes me the angriest is that his grandma and mom don't seem to fucking care? like AT ALL#they know he's drunk but they just care about not having conflict (as if that'll solve anything)#bf told him 'if you get on that bike im calling the cops' which is obvs met with 'do it pussy'#so i walked away and called them. he thought i was bluffing the whole time. i was not. they need to learn that shits not cool#everything is so fucking nuanced it's ridiculous. my hands were tied i genuinely didnt see any other way#if you read all this you are a trooper and i'm sorry you wasted your time on my drama but i needed to get this out and maybe i can sleep#its fucking 3:09am rip
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lizziesangel · 16 days ago
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RAFE CAMERON - paired up together
quarterback!extroverted jock x shy!introverted!FEM!reader - MASTERLIST
SUMMARY: based on this request
WORD COUNT: 2.1k
GENRE: fluff
CONTENT WARNING: soft!rafe cameron
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your mom and dad always had a vision for you, one that didn’t exactly include self-defense classes. when you were younger, they signed you up for piano lessons, art workshops, and just about anything that didn’t involve sweat or the possibility of a sprained ankle. they didn’t want you to feel weak, of course, but they thought strength came from different things—discipline, refinement, skill.
“you don’t need to learn to throw punches,” your mom would say. “you need discipline. structure. music.”
so you’re not exactly the strongest person in the world, but you’re not weak either. you’ve got your limits, sure, but you also like to think you can handle yourself if you absolutely had to. you’re just hoping today isn’t one of those days.
as you walk with your best friend to PE, the two of you are mid-gossip, laughing at something she said about the latest drama in your grade.
“and then she had the nerve to say my dress was last season, when hers looked like it came out of her grandma’s attic,” lana says, flipping her hair dramatically.
you snort. “maybe she was going for vintage?”
“vintage?” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “there’s a difference between vintage and… tragic.”
the conversation carries you all the way to the gym, where your PE teacher, coach davis, claps his hands together and gets everyone’s attention.
“alright, listen up!” he booms, his voice echoing off the walls. “today, we’re starting a self-defense unit. and before anyone complains, let me just say—you’re gonna thank me later. trust me.”
there’s a murmur of interest and maybe a little dread from the class. you glance around and spot the football team—rafe cameron and topper thornton in the corner—leaning against the wall like they’re above it all. rafe’s tossing a football between his hands absentmindedly, while topper’s saying something that makes him smirk.
“of course they’re here,” lana mutters, following your gaze, looking at each football player.
“at least we’re not getting paired with them,” you whisper back, half-joking.
lana shakes her head, “i feel like you just jinxed us.”
you look at her, “no, you just jinxed us by saying that i jinxed us.”
she looks at you with a confused face, “you’re not even making sense, like at all.”
“whatever, they're football players, it would be weird if we were paired with them,” you raised your shoulders.
coach davis goes on to explain the basics of the class, ending with the bombshell: “you’re gonna be partnered up for these drills. i’ll call out the pairs.”
your friend groans dramatically. “if it’s not them then i’m gonna get stuck with someone who doesn’t even know how to hold a fist properly.”
“maybe it’ll be me,” you say, grinning.
“please,” she shoots back. “you’re not hopeless. you’re just… delicate.”
before you can defend yourself, coach starts calling out pairs. when he says your best friend’s name, followed by topper’s, her jaw drops.
“you’ve got to be kidding me,” she whispers, shooting you a look. “like i said, you jinxed us.”
“at least he’s strong?” you offer, barely holding back a laugh.
“and annoying.” she sighs, but there’s a faint pink tinge to her cheeks as she walks over to topper.
then coach calls your name.
“you’re with rafe cameron.”
your stomach drops. you glance up to find rafe already looking at you, his eyebrows slightly raised, the smirk replaced by something unreadable.
“great,” you mutter under your breath, grabbing your water bottle and making your way over.
the self-defense gym class is not exactly your idea of a good time. the thought of being paired up with anyone, let alone someone like rafe cameron—quarterback, golden boy, cute jock extraordinaire—makes you want to melt into the floor. but when coach calls your name, followed by his, there’s no escaping it.
you shuffle over to him, clutching your water bottle, avoiding his eyes. rafe, on the other hand, stands there looking like he’s just been told he won the lottery, but he’s trying way too hard to play it cool.
“guess we’re partners,” he says, a little too brightly, flashing that easy grin of his. it’s the kind of smile that probably works on everyone else, but you just nod and mumble, “yeah, okay.”
the first drill is basic—a wrist grab escape.
“so,” he starts, dropping the football to the ground and kicking it aside, “here’s the plan. i’ll go easy on you, obviously. i mean, i’m not gonna, like, actually grab you or anything. just… enough so you can practice the moves. sound good?”
you blink at him, unsure what to say. he’s talking fast, like he’s trying to fill the silence before it even has a chance to settle.
“and if you’re not sure about something, just tell me,” he continues, his hands gesturing animatedly. “i’ve, uh, done some of this stuff before. kind of, you know… for football and stuff.” he scratches the back of his neck, like that explains everything.
“okay,” you say softly, nodding.
he hesitates for a moment, like he’s waiting for you to say more, but when you don’t, he shifts awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“cool. yeah. uh… so, you wanna start with the wrist grab thing?” he asks, his voice a little higher than usual.
“sure,” you reply, your tone neutral.
he stares at you for a second longer, then clears his throat and rubs his hands together. “alright. this’ll be easy. just… pretend I’m the bad guy or something.”
you glance up at him briefly, your lips twitching into the smallest of smiles. “okay, bad guy.”
his laugh is sudden, almost startled, like he didn’t expect you to say that. he recovers quickly, though, his grin softening into something less forced.
“alright, let’s do this,” he says, stepping a little closer. you try not to focus on how tall he is, how he seems to take up all the space around you.
the first few exercises are awkward, to say the least. rafe has to grab your wrist in what’s supposed to be a firm hold, and you’d have to fumble your way through the escape technique. it’s not perfect, but it’s good enough to get the drill going.
the two of you are both way too aware of each other. the awkwardness of it all makes the air feel heavier, and there’s this strange, bubbling tension that neither of you knows how to shake. rafe’s grip on your wrist is a little too firm at first, and you instinctively yank it out of his hold too quickly, which makes you both pause and look at each other for a second.
there’s a beat of silence, and then rafe’s face cracks into a grin. “uh… yeah, you’re definitely supposed to slowly pull away,” he says, his voice a little too bright for the situation.
you blink at him, your face flushing. “sorry, I—uh—I panicked.”
he lets out a quiet chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “it’s fine. we’re just trying this out.”
you can’t help but feel embarrassed, your cheeks heating up under his gaze. you didn’t think self-defense could be this awkward, but the whole thing is kind of ridiculous. the movements feel so stiff and uncoordinated, and you can tell rafe is trying way too hard to hide his laughter.
“okay,” you mutter, looking anywhere but at him. “let’s try again.”
this time, rafe tries to go easy on you, adjusting his stance, but as soon as he grabs your wrist again, there’s a moment of hesitation, and both of you burst into suppressed giggles. it’s just too silly—the way you’re both standing there, pretending to fight, looking like absolute amateurs.
you can’t stop the laughter from slipping out, and the sound is so unexpected that it catches you off guard. your face burns, and you quickly cover it with your hand, hoping no one notices how flustered you are.
“okay, okay,” rafe says between laughs, still holding your wrist but clearly fighting to keep himself together. his heart is racing, not from the physical exertion of the exercises, but from the way he can’t seem to focus on anything except how adorable you look when you laugh. “we’re, uh, doing great, right?”
you can’t even meet his eyes. your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper. “yeah, definitely.”
but rafe’s heart is thundering in his chest, too loud for him to ignore. he’s never been this nervous during a drill, not even when he’s throwing a football in front of a crowd. everything about this is making his insides do flip-flops, and he can’t understand why.
the two of you keep going through the exercises, but the laughter doesn’t stop. each time rafe grabs your wrist, or you try to make an escape, there’s this shared, silent understanding between the two of you. it’s ridiculous. it’s awkward. and it’s perfect.
he notices the way your hands shake slightly, how your eyes keep darting away from his, and it just makes him want to laugh even more. it’s so real, so raw, in a way he’s never felt before. he doesn’t know why, but he can’t seem to stop thinking about you.
“you’re doing fine,” he says softly after a while, his voice unusually gentle. “really. don’t worry about it.”
you nod, barely able to form words as you keep your gaze firmly on the floor. he wants to say something else, but the words get stuck in his throat. it’s strange—this is strange. something about the way you make him feel like he’s in way over his head, and it’s making his heart race faster than he can keep up with.
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coach davis started droning on about the next exercise, something about how to escape a bear hug or tackle or whatever, but you’re not really listening. you’re too busy trying to get the next move right, shifting your weight awkwardly, wondering if your face is as hot as it feels.
what you are aware of, though, is the way rafe is looking at you. his gaze is soft, but it doesn’t feel casual—it’s more intense than it should be, like he's lost in a thought you’re not a part of. every time you glance at him, he’s still staring, his lips slightly parted like he’s about to say something but can’t quite figure out what.
you don’t notice how long he’s been staring, how he’s not paying attention to coach davis at all, but lana does.
she’s standing a few feet away with topper, listening half-heartedly to the coach’s explanation while she watches you both from the corner of her eye. when she sees rafe’s gaze fixed on you, her eyebrow raises, the corners of her lips curling up in a mischievous grin.
“no way,” she mutters to topper, who’s clearly more interested in trying not to sweat than anything happening in the class.
lana shifts closer to you, nudging your shoulder gently. “okay, seriously, are you two going to pretend like nothing is happening here?” she whispers, her voice laced with amusement.
you barely hear her, focused on the way rafe shifts his weight, trying to act casual, but you don’t miss the glint in his eyes.
“what are you talking about?” you ask, still trying to concentrate on what coach davis is saying.
“girl,” she says, almost too loudly, making you blush even harder, “you’ve got mr. quarterback staring at you like you’re the only thing in this gym. i swear, you’re not even paying attention, and he’s over here practically drooling.”
you blink at her, confused, your face going even hotter. you glance over at rafe quickly, thinking you’re imagining it, but—no. he’s still looking at you, and the moment your eyes meet, his expression shifts from uncertainty to something else, something you can’t quite figure out.
and then, like a punch to the gut, you finally pull your gaze from him, letting your eyes fall to the floor like you’re trying to escape from the intensity of the moment.
lana catches the look, then smirks, nudging you again. “i’m not crazy. he’s definitely into you. like, definitely. look at him—he’s not even pretending to pay attention anymore.”
you try to focus on something else—anything else—but you feel the weight of his gaze still on you, like he’s looking right through you. it makes your chest tighten, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him again.
“stop,” you whisper harshly, though you don’t even know why you’re saying it.
lana just giggles, her eyes lighting up like she’s holding onto some great secret. “i’m just saying, girl. you’re killing him right now.”
meanwhile, rafe, clueless about what’s going on between the two of you, is still struggling to keep his composure. his heart is racing even faster now, and all he can think about is how you’re just standing there, not noticing what he’s feeling—he’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed by that. all he knows is that he can’t seem to look away from you.
rafe exhales slowly, trying to ground himself, even though it feels impossible.
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crookedfandomquill · 5 months ago
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This is very situational, and sadly may not be realistic for everyone, but I need y’all to understand that a very important part of political activism is fucking talking to your conservative or moderate friends and family.
My dad voted for Trump in 2016. He’s a middle class white evangelical from Arkansas. He raised me with conservative Christian values, just like his parents raised him. When he voted Trump, he was holding his nose, but he didn’t feel too bad about it, and went on to vote red down the ticket in the 2018 midterms, as well.
But I started college in 2017. Higher education and independence changed everything for me, and I went home over holidays and summers with fire in my belly and a thousand arguments ready at the drop of a hat, to my father’s dismay.
I remember crying in my room after emotional, intense arguments with him. I told him over and over that I felt betrayed by his choice to vote for a man who admitted to sexually assaulting women, who built his platform on dehumanizing immigrants and the disabled, who spread overtly-racist rhetoric, who flouted the values of kindness and self-discipline that I’d been raised on. And my dad always had some justification about the “greater good”: fighting against abortion, bolstering the economy, getting other Christian politicians into office.
But over time, as we grew further apart and I lost my will to discuss anything with him at all, he softened. He started asking me why I thought the way I did about the things we disagreed about. He would listen to my answers without interruption, and mull them over afterward instead of expressing his own opinion. And all the while, he watched the Trump presidency become cruel and absurd and devastating.
The first time he openly expressed regret to me, I had come home for a weekend after Kavanaugh was confirmed to SCOTUS. My dad realized he had helped elect a man who preyed on women… and that man had opened the door to more predators. I can’t tell you what it felt like for him to admit that he’d made a mistake, not just in voting for Trump but in defending him for so long. We kept arguing, but it was more debating than fighting. I knew he was capable of seeing my side of things, even if it took a while, and he knew I wasn’t just a sensitive college student with shallow new ideas about the world.
And then 2020 hit. Specifically, George Floyd was murdered, and the events that followed played out on the national stage. My dad was incredibly shaken by it. He asked me if I had any books from college about racial issues. I loaned him The New Jim Crow, one of the required readings for my Race and the Law class. Then I gave him Just Mercy. Then he watched the documentary 13th. Then he joined a racial harmony group he learned about through one of the few Black families at our church and insisted our whole family come. He held up signs at a protest against Confederate monuments in our conservative southern town. In three years, he went from defending Trump’s comments about “Black-on-Black crime” to publicly advocating for racial justice and opposing the death penalty.
We went together to vote in the 2020 primaries. I couldn’t help asking who he’d voted for; I didn’t even know if he’d asked for the Republican or Democratic ticket. He admitted he’d voted for Bernie. fucking. Sanders, then made me promise not to tell my grandma he’d voted liberal. When the election rolled around in November, he voted Biden. I’m sure he held his nose to do it, just like he held his nose voting in 2016. But I know he doesn’t regret it.
I am, of course, unbelievably lucky to have a parent who loved me enough, and was empathetic enough, to choose his relationship with me over his strongly-held opinions. He kept searching for truth because, as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a very smart and curious person. No degree of intelligence or curiosity makes you immune to propaganda, especially if you were raised not to question the party line. It’s easy to dismiss our conservative, conspiracy-pilled loved ones as stupid, hypocritical, and cruel. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they will bend to keep their relationships from breaking. Sometimes, if they can be made to understand that their beliefs and actions are harming someone they love, they will make concessions. And sometimes they just need one person in their life to put a foot down, to be vulnerable and assertive and argumentative, to bring the impact of their politics close to home.
As the most important election of our lifetimes approaches, do not put peace over progress. If you have someone like my dad, someone who is good-willed and smart and loves you more than their own opinions, tell them how you feel. Tell them what their choices will mean for you, for your friends, for your community. Tell them what they could lose: your trust, your affection, your respect. Don’t avoid conflict if it could be productive. Because my conflict with my dad didn’t just win him over–it won over my moderate mom and one of my conservative brothers. And it put us in community with other like-minded people and led my parents to a healthier and kinder faith.
All of this to say, there is hope in conflict. There is hope in our relationships with people who think differently from us. There is hope in exposing your fear and anger and pain to people you love. And hope is a form of activism.
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lizardho · 1 month ago
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I was like 11-12 years old when I figured out at a boring-ass church activity that you could put rocks into little plastic spoons and then pelt people who annoyed me with them. I did this for the rest of the activity, and at Sunday dinner the next night was bragging about my victory (cornering the mean kid who picked on my youngest brother and pelting him with rocks). One of my cousins was like “no way, that sounds SO fun! Let’s do that RIGHT NOW!” So we grabbed spoons and went and got pebbles from the back yard and launched them at each other.
The problem was my grandma sold her soul for the world’s most resilient plastic spoons so we could launch those fuckers HARD. I gave out welts like candy on Halloween, and I got them back in kind.
So we resorted to taking cover and giggling until we got whacked, then yelping, then returning fire.
My cousin hid in my grandpa’s little fishing boat. It was a good boat, but simple and honestly underused. We didn’t know the little windows on it, meant to keep the wind out of my grandpa’s face while he drove, were cracking. However, they were definitely cracking. Eventually it became obvious and we realized we had been being dumb.
This was NOT the first time in my life I’d been dumb roughhousing and broken something, and I had developed a reputation in my family as being “suicidally honest” so I was the one to deliver the bad news. My grandpa let out a pretty good chuckle and said it was OK, tousled my hair, and asked my grandma to bring me cake. I am not kidding. I learned later he hated his boat and only bought it for his kids’ sakes, since he thought everyone needed to know how to fish. At the time though I was just bewildered and pleased at my good fortune. FINALLY, at long last, being honest and telling the truth about breaking something expensive was getting me cake. I knew if I kept trying it would eventually serve me, and now so had CAKE. I was pleased as could be.
My dad, on the other hand, was livid. He LOVED that boat. He spent several weeks each summer recovering from breaking ribs in that boat every year for about 7 years prior to this incident. He had great memories and memories that boat. So he told my Grandma NO cake for me AND that I’d be coming by this weekend to fix stuff around the house and pay for the broken window with my babysitting/lawn mowing money.
Obviously I was devastated, but that felt more in-line with the way things normally went when I broke something expensive so I just figured it was OK. My grandpa gave my grandma a look and sadly said “Ok, have her here on Saturday to help me with some yard work.”
That Saturday my dad woke me up at 6:00 sharp and drove me, sleepy and bewildered, to my grandpa’s house. He was mumbling under his breath the whole time but he thought he was teaching me consequences for my actions so he was ultimately OK with it.
We get to my grandpa’s house at 6:15. My grandpa is outside with a ladder hanging Christmas lights. The lawn is freshly mowed, the trees and garden are weeded and well-tended to, the carnations in the front yard look immaculate, and my grandpa has this giddy mischievous look on his face. He tells me he was so excited that I was coming over that he couldn’t sleep, so he did all the yard work himself. He asked me to help him put up Christmas lights and decorate the Christmas tree, which I did, then said that because I was such a good helper I could have some pancakes for breakfast. I was sent home with the slice of cake I had been denied the week before, wrapped to keep it as fresh as possible.
The whole way home my dad looked a little miffed, but told me that he was glad I had been honest and was proud of me for helping grandpa. I know he wanted me to Learn a Lesson™️the cowboy way, like he had as a kid, but didn’t have much room to complain since I’d still been Put To Work.
I think that was a lesson for both of us, although I’m not totally sure what it was supposed to show me. I think it was my grandpa’s way of showing my dad that discipline without tenderness doesn’t count as much. He died last year and I miss him terribly, as does my dad. I hope that my story of victory, drama, punishment, and ultimately a secret second victory is meaningful to someone else out there, but if not it still means a lot to me ❤️
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