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lets-try-some-writing · 5 months ago

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In your professional opinion: what would be some Cybertronian Superstitions? Like do the miners hit the entrance of mines after someone dies inside it to help free their sparks from their tomb? Do people not say Unicron’s name after dark for fear it’ll summon him? Is there a name(s) that you can’t say inside the Iacon Hall Of Records or else you’ll be cursed with bad luck????

Please feel free to go hog wild with this.

Oh boy I LOVE the idea of that sort of thing. Honestly, I can see all sorts of little superstitions existing due to mythos and history.

Miners make it a point to never leave their tools unattended. They take them everywhere. To recharge, to fuel, even to get repairs. As for why they do this? There is a certain belief that the tools carry a bit of the luck and wisdom of those who held them previously. And since most tools are handed down from one fallen miner to the next, miners treat their tools with reverence. Many have carried the same pick, and each has left their mark. It cannot be disregarded.

Additionally, miners refuse to enter a deep tunnel system without whistling down it first. The habit has been long since made null and void by tunneling improvements, but there are stories of miners getting lost in the dark, before they adapted to it. Many died before their optics were augmented to the low light conditions. Great swaths of miners still believe that the wandering sparks of those lost in the dark linger there, scared and alone. Whistling down the tunnel before entering gives the lost spirits of the dead something to cling to, a guide to the afterlife in a sense.

Gladiators have a particular set of beliefs revolving entirely around the concept of honor. They know that their work is bloody and often cruel, and so they have developed a strange set of beliefs. Every gladiator, before combat, will take a stick or something equally useless, and snap it in half. They will give half of their broken instrument to a trusted comrade and march off to fight. If they return alive, the two pieces are to be put back together and promptly crushed into powder to be cast out upon whichever mech or beast died so that the gladiator could live. A sign of respect. However, if the gladiator were to die, their comrade is obliged to gather up the fallen's half of the instrument and have them run through their funeral rites with the joined object. This is done out of a belief that the dead must be honored, lest they linger in the living realm to haunt those who killed them (in the case of the gladiator surviving) or to stay with the other piece of their spark (in the event the gladiator dies).

Gladiators also have a firm belief that going into battle without paint will inevitably lead to bad luck coming upon them. They take meticulous care of their accenting paint, tracing swirls and jagged lines with delicate touches meant for those of higher castes. Some believe the marks distract enemies. Others say that the marks ward off attacks, letting otherwise lethal combat situations turn in their favor. No one really knows what they do. It is just something that must be done. Failure to go into battle without paint has led to more than a few gladiators meeting their end. Seeing such things has left the rest preferring to not take chances. Megatron himself went into battle without paint one time, and he quickly learned never to do that again when he returned with a brand new scar on his shoulder.

Amongst dock workers, there are various superstitions revolving around cargo in particular. It's bad luck to look at someone's cargo if it has a written letter attached. It doesn't matter what is in the box, it is considered a stain on one's spark to witness the usually rather sappy interactions between those who bother with sending hardcomms. Additionally, dock workers have long since grown to fear any box that comes in solid black. There was exactly one incident where a black box appeared amidst the cargo and disappeared without a trace, taking several other cargo pieces with it. Since then, any black boxes are either thrown right off the truck with a collective agreement that the loss will be signed off as an accident, or said boxes are loaded up with one unfortunate spark to transfer alone. Black boxes being delivered by one mech are often found missing, the driver and the box itself having vanished without a trace. Black boxes are terrifying, and not one dock worker is willing to risk it.

It is also notoriously bad luck among dock workers to deny the youngling with golden optics a ride. They will appear anywhere and at any time without rhyme or reason. When they appear, they never say a word, instead coming up to dock workers and pointing toward whatever transport they are loading up. Dock workers have long since learned to quietly nod and promptly ignore the youngling as they load up alongside the cargo. Interacting with the youngling results in the worker in question befalling some unfortunate end. Ignoring the youngling entirely leads to a similar situation. This superstition began long ago, and many younglings have abused it relentlessly since no one knows what the mysterious youngling from the myth actually looks like aside from their optics.

Low caste mecha as a whole have a strange superstition revolving around the concept of truth. They are notorious for keeping information to themselves, but low caste mecha never ever outwardly or blatantly lie. They are very careful to leave even the smallest grain of truth in their words. Why? Because telling lies brings the whispers of Liege Maximo. What are the whispers? No one is exactly sure. It is an evil omen, one that has led the low castes to develop odd honesty. They don't want to risk Liege's touch, not when he was stated to have been torn apart during the first age for his manipulations.

Low level soldiers hold the belief that giving away their names to one another is bad luck. Since they can all die at any given moment, they find it easier to remain nameless around one another. To them, remaining without a name in the optics of those around them ensures that survivors of battle can move on without fear. Giving a name means binding oneself to another. Their sparks might linger if they are attached, and that could lead to pain for both themselves and their comrades. So to get around this, soldiers don't do the name thing. Instead, every soldier refers to each other through characteristics or words of endearment. "Yellow" for a mech with yellow plating. "Comrade" or "Brother" for a mech they have served with frequently. Anything except a name. It would be cruel to bind the dead to living and the living to the dead.

Soldiers also have a belief that leaving a corpse to rot is incredibly bad luck. It doesn't matter whose corpse it is. It can't be left out. If nothing is salvageable, the spark chamber must be removed and taken to be given proper funeral rites. Not a spark wants to risk and angry spirit lingering because the body was not tended to properly. This belief extends to the point where soldiers will actively tear out their own spark chambers if they know they are going to die (or request others to do it for them). They don't want to linger and haunt those around them, so its best that the core of their frame is guaranteed proper rites.

Flyers of all kinds simply refuse to fly when Luna 1 and 2 are fully aligned. There are a thousand stories telling tales of fliers crashing, being killed, hit by rogue shots, and everything else. They won't risk it, and instead of flying, flyers will instead actively hide from the moons on such occasions. Usually unwilling to be locked in tight spaces, such cycles are the exception. To be seen by the moons is to be hunted. They won't risk it. Additionally, flyers have one particular stretch of Cybertronian landscape they all avoid like the plague. Mecha have been known to go in and never come back out, or if they do return, they are changed. They don't want to mess with that place, not for anything.

Flyers also hold the firm belief that one must keep their optics in perfect condition. They run tests all the time to ensure that their optics function without issue. Some even go so far as to get goggles or visors built into their frames just to protect them. Most chalk this up to a simple desire to not go blind. But flyers think differently. They won't get their optics replaced even if its an option. Why? Because they hold the belief that they carry the optics of a mech who didn't get to soar. Every flyer who has ever lived has had the optics of a grounder who will never get to grace the skies. For flyers, they see their optics as something sacred. They fly not just for themselves, but also for whoever their counterpart is, living or dead. They honor another through their sight, and so they must maintain their vision at all costs. Some call the phenomenon something akin to soulmates. The flyers state that it is the price they pay for their gift of flight.

(Note: Starscream and many of his people do not subscribe to the above thought process. Thundercracker is the only notable exception. Most chalk this up to his love of romance novels.)

Enforcers have many little quirks depending on city, but one they all share is the universal habit of naming their weapon of choice. It is a strange not quite religious belief for them. Whatever the thought process actual is, Enforcers rely heavily on their weapons, and as such, they must appease the weapon itself. They have to bond to it, make it an extension of themselves so that they can move it just as easily as a limb. They go about this through naming, and once named, they never get rid of the weapon in question. Even if its outdated, old, or broken. The weapon stays. If it is obliterated or lost, the Enforcer is obliged to get a copy of their prior weapon for the sake of their continued success. For this reason, most Enforcers fight with inbuilt weapons until they settle on something, and then they buy several copies just in case.

Enforcers will also never actively say "goodbye" to one another. Doing so would imply that there is a possibility of not coming back from the next patrol. So Enforcers simply don't use such language. "Good luck" or "Get those slaggers" are common supplements. Surprisingly, Enforcers only dodge around "goodbye" while on duty. They will casually wave off companions when not on the clock without a care in the world. However, if an Enforcer really does not like someone while on the clock, they will say "goodbye" as their polite version of a middle finger.

It is not exactly a rule, but Archivist as a whole simply do not refer to the Primes by name most of the time. There is a belief that uttering their designations aloud will bring their gaze upon whoever spoke. That can either be good or bad depending on the context, but since Primus's chosen can never really be predicted, most Archivists won't risk it. Instead, if they must say a Prime's name, they will tap a nearby surface a few times to supposedly draw attention away from themselves and hopefully keep the Prime in question from seeing them. It makes no sense, but even Orion Pax kept to the habit. Although some, like Orion, usually worked around this by coming up with slightly different pronunciations of the designations of Primes to hopefully avert their gazes.

Archivists also refuse to read anything relating to relics after a certain time. There is a longstanding belief that doing so can drive a mech mad. Hidden knowledge comes at Primus's chosen joor. Sometimes Archivists will reach grand discoveries at this specific time after delving into records of relics. But more often than not, Archivists have been noted having mental breakdowns, crying, losing their minds, or otherwise going haywire. Medical professionals chalk it up to exhaustion and mania. The Archivists believe it is a warning. They refuse to read about relics during Primus's joor. Obviously, there are some thing between the veil they are not meant to know.

Medics won't come within a ten mile radius of the smelting pits where most of the dead are dealt with. They believe it is a bad omen to linger in places of death, and that the wrath of the deceased can stick to their frames, making other patients lose their lives. This has led medics to make it a habit to remove dead mecha from hospitals as fast as physically possible, handing them off to medical students to carry to the pits. Medical students hardly ever do anything of note with the patients, so the professionals don't feel bad dumping all the potential bad luck on them. The only medics who actively hang around smelting pits are morticians and mecha focused on autopsies. They think lingering around the dead will help them understand the dead. That way, they can better diagnose just what killed a mech. Such medics are usually avoided by the rest who work with the living.

Medics have very sensitive servos. There is a longstanding belief that if a medic is to retire or happens to die, he or she must give up their servos to a younger medic in training. This is to pass on skill, at least in theory. It is also a sign that a medic in training is skilled and worthy of note. To take the servos of an old medic is to take on their legacy. Similarly to the miners, medics take honoring those who came before them very seriously. They will go above and beyond to keep their servos in perfect condition so that whoever comes after them can have the vital sensors that come with a medic's servos. Ratchet is one of the few mecha to not have inherited his servos from anyone. He has also never signed up to have anyone get them after he dies. Most take this to mean he never will die. And considering how long Ratchet has lived, a good chunk of the population firmly believe that Ratchet is eternal.

#transformers #maccadam #cybertronian worldbuilding #cybertronian culture #pre war cybertron #transformers headcanon #orion pax #megatron #starscream #ratchet

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arieswritez · 1 year ago

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golden boy

golden boy | yandere stepbrother!mark grayson x afab!reader

cw; DARK CONTENT!!! MDNI!! pseudo-incest, panty thief!mark, roofies, victim blaming, non-con video taping, voyeurism, rape, reader's anatomy is sexualized, forced breeding, time skip (mark is an adult & nolan never killed the guardians), mark is a sicko you've been warned

about; life was easier when mark was an only child. he wishes it would've stayed that way. (1.9k words)

a/n; an anon asked about a platonic yan sibling duo so i raise you: big pervy step bro who hates your guts but also wants to rearrange them

step brother mark who's used to being the light and joy of the grayson home. as the only child, he's spoiled beyond belief. he's spunky and cute and the graysons love him to death, constantly showering him with love and adoration.

step brother mark who gets a new sibling after villains make you an orphan. nolan finds you in the ruins and it's like he's on auto-pilot: carrying you to that secret hospital and handing you off to the doctors that rush to his aid. . but not before your tiny fist closes in his suit.

as he watches you being taken away, barely alive, something inside his chest pangs.

debbie notices nolan acting strange. he's restless and he's late for dinner, more so than usual. something's very clearly wrong. and it's not like her to grow suspicious of nolan but she does.

nolan's never given her a reason to believe his head may have been turned but for some reason, she starts to believe there might be someone else.

only to find he's been visiting you at the hospital, staying at your bedside for hours on end as you recover. you're in bad shape. doctors aren't sure how you survived. . if you even will. debbie's never seen nolan so torn over a survivor before. he's seen many things: deaths, disasters, you name it. yet, you're who's causing the sleepless nights.

of course, debbie has a kind heart and, soon, it's not just nolan who's worried. the graysons keep tabs on you. and when you come to, they’re the first thing you see.

you look confused, scared, but as nolan soothes you, you offer a meek smile and nolan finds himself feeling that same giddiness he felt when he first saw a tiny mark cradled in debbie's arms.

the graysons become your legal guardians and, suddenly, mark isn't the golden boy anymore.

you take up so much of their attention. now, christmases and birthdays all revolve around you. suddenly, marks good grades and the fact he hit a home run isn't all that impressive. mark's late for his baseball practice and games more times than he can count. . yet they never miss your dance recitals.

you got an A in an absurdly easy class and that was a cause for celebration. in the meantime, mark won a spelling bee & all he got was a 'good job'.

they treat you like you're made of glass, like you'll shatter into a million tiny pieces the second someone so much as looks at you the wrong way. mark still remembers being reprimanded whenever he said the smallest things to you. he doesn't think he's ever lived down that one orphanage joke that made you bawl. god, he was just kidding. . its not his fault you're sensitive.

soon, you're calling his parents 'mom and dad'. and worse of all, they reiterate the fact that you should be calling mark your 'big brother'.

fucking fantastic.

you are everything to them while mark is pushed aside. and it only worsens the older the two of you get. mark gets his powers - there's literally nothing more impressive than that - yet he still has to do a million and one things in order to outshine you. nothing ever works. and despite the fact that mark is - quite literally - saving lives. . your stupid birthday is still more important.

you are the light of their lives and mark bitterly remembers when they used to look at him that way, too.

you are perfect in their eyes. just like he once was.

and mark wishes you would've died in that accident, just like your parent(s).

as you start to develop a sense of self, mark gets into the habit of stealing your clothes. it's the only thing you seem to care about: the way you present yourself to the world.

they're small things at first. like a single shoe when his parents had bought you new ones yet refused to get him the ones he wanted. he'll admit it, it was petty and spiteful. but you were distressed and the graysons seemed upset you'd already misplaced your brand new - expensive - shoes.

at first, he was content with telling himself that what he was doing was solely to spite you. but that was a lie. when his kleptomania made him steal one of your shirts. . it wasn't spite that made him press the material to his nose and pump his cock until he came. no, it wasn't just spite.

all your simpering and whining, following him around like some lost puppy, that one time you asked him why he hated you so much. . it made him feel more than just hate.

he didn't know what to do with you then.

so, at first, he settled with stealing your clothes.

a couple more shirts.

a pair of shorts.

knee-highs or your favorite tights.

and finally, a pair of panties.

his favorite are a lacy pair. sheer and tiny, he recalls lifting them out of your drawer with a finger. . and thinking, seriously? what're these even meant to cover?

he's extremely sure you aren't supposed to have these~

mark is content with secretly stealing your things. he doesn't get in trouble for being mean to you anymore.

you don't think he hates you.

it's a win-win situation, really.

and mark would've been happy - he would've been fine - with the little game he's been playing. soon, the two of you would part ways for college and he'd forget all about you.

he'd forget the way you'd foolishly walk to your room in only a towel when you knew the two of you were home alone.

he'd forget the way you looked when you changed out of clothing, you never truly believed in fully closing the door, did you?

he'd forget the way your moans sounded, when you touched yourself at night, thinking everyone else was asleep. he'd forget the way he'd concentrate on hearing your pretty sounds - and it's not like he'd have to try hard, another perk of having powers.

he'd forget about how he could almost envision you: humping your fingers and biting at your lip, desperately trying to get yourself off. it was like he was in the room with you. . you were so wet he could hear the wet clicks of your cunt.

he'd forget all about you.

you, you, you.

he was sure of it.

but if it's one thing about you is that you could never just let things be.

you could never just let the graysons be a normal, happy family.

and you could never just let mark forget about you.

because the first time his parents say no to you - the very first fucking time - you don't listen.

you're just not used to it.

that stupid party you weren't supposed to go to.

that stupid party mark sneaks off to, too.

and when you see him there, you're surprised.

he pretends to be, too.

because it's not fair if only one of you was forbidden to go. no, you had to fuck it up for the both of them.

it's a good thing you're so spoiled, though. and it's even better that mark eavesdropped on the conversation you had with your friend, the one in which you planned to sneak out.

you're so fucking naive. so stupid.

you think the two of you are finally getting along when he gets you a drink and whispers, don't worry, i won't tell if you don't. and you laugh and wink at him like you'll keep his secret, drinking from whatever concoction he's prepared for you.

you were too young when your parent(s) passed and the graysons never seemed to sit you down for the talk. . or maybe they did and you were just too stupid to understand why you should never accept an open drink.

it's easy to blame it on you being a lightweight. the way you sway and slur your words, the way you stumble into him, the way your body overheats.

you've had too much to drink. you're not used to it, is all. he'll take care of you, don't you worry, big brother always does.

first, he's got to lay you down, you poor thing.

he doesn't want you to hurt your pretty little head by falling!

so, he lays you down in the empty room of the house as the party continues downstairs. as you fall to the bed in a heap, you swear you can see the throbbing beat of the music, now muffled behind the closed door.

in the dark room, the moonlight leaking through the pale blue blinds look like drunken undulations, wavering like heat shimmers, yet you can't keep your eyes open long enough to ogle at them. your body doesn't feel like your own, but you're not as nervous as you should be.

mark yanks his shirt off over his head - practiced, ready - and stalks over to your semi-limp body that's nearly hanging off the bed.

it's not hard to undress you, considering you're dressed like some cheap slut. and, honestly, if it wasn't mark that night, he's sure it would've been another dude at the party. the way you're such a fucking tease, he doesn't think anyone would be able to keep their hands off of you for long.

so, really, it's only fair your older brother is the one to get his hands on the goods, first. afterall, he was there to watch them grow.

the little camcorder he took from his parents - the old silver one they used to record all their trips around the world, mark's first steps, your first birthday with them - blinks red, on and off, on and off, as he strips you. he makes sure to capture your body: your bare tits as your chest rises and falls with each panicked breath, the smooth skin of your tummy, then down, between your legs, as he records your sopping cunt taking his fingers.

you mewl and your vision's swimming. and you feel here, there, everywhere, and it's so, so confusing.

you don't know what's happening and it's distressing because you know something is.

your hands weakly try to push at the foreign body on top of you. . inside of you. . but mark is stronger than anyone will ever be and you are far too drugged to do anything about it.

they're gonna be so mad, mark thinks, as he slides into you and tries to keep the camera recording the way your cunt grips him as he feeds his cock inside of you.

they'll be so mad when they find out you've snuck out.

and maybe you'll tell them. . you think something happened. . someone did something to you. . when you try to wash his cum out of your pussy.

maybe you won't. maybe you shouldn't. they'll already be mad at you, best keep quiet about it~

but the graysons will feel even worse in the next few months. . when you start puking your guts out.

and like the perfect parents they are, they'll take you to a doctor. . only for the results to come back positive.

mark may not be a golden boy, anymore.

but in nine months, maybe you'll give him one, instead 💗

#mark grayson #mark grayson x reader #invincible #invincible x reader #yandere mark grayson #yandere mark grayson x reader #mark is canonically a good brother #& we love him for that!!#but he's a weirdo in my universe <3

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aboutcustardcreams · 1 month ago

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To a Love that Never Dies

Summary: Neither you nor Agatha can divine when Rio will return. Sometimes, the uncertainty feels like a blessing, but on other days or nights, as in this case—it becomes a real struggle. You and Agatha share a moment.

warnings: none, hurt/comfort.

previous chapter

1756

You had been quiet for a while, sitting cross-legged on your shared bedroll. The only sound you could focus on, other than the soft snoring of your son, sleeping close to you. His breathing kept you alive. The fire crackled and hissed, its warmth licking at your cheeks. Your fingers danced towards it, as if tempted to reach out and touch. Fire didn’t scare you– it should have, and yet there were worse things to be afraid of. You learned the hard way. You had to say goodbye to one of the loves of your life, to begin with. And the possibility of having to go through the same trauma, but with your son, was crashing you in the most unimaginable way, slowly but constantly.

You let out another sigh. Agatha had lost count of how many you’d released that night. She was watching you intently from the corner of her eye, for minutes now, as your eyes darted from your son to the flames, then back to your son, bundled snugly beneath a thick blanket a few feet away from you. A small, tentative smile touched your lips as your gaze lingered, soft and loving, but also apprehensive. It was the look of a mother. The look of someone willing to do anything to grant their child’s safety. When Agatha scooted closer, her fingers found their way to your thigh, gently brushing it, to pull you out of your haze.

When you turned, the smile on your face didn’t reach your eyes.

“Your silence is awfully worrying, my love,” she whispered gently.

A wave of guilt rushed through you, as you pursed your lips, “I’m sorry–” It seemed the most sensible thing to say, because you were sorry and for so many things, you didn’t know where to start.

Agatha’s brows knitted in a frown, then. Her confusion grew considerably the moment unshed tears clung to your lashes and welled up those beautiful eyes of yours, signaling her you were this close to crying.

“No, no, no, hey–” she cooed, her face leaning inches closer to yours, “whatever are you sorry for?” Always ever so gently, Agatha kept stroking your skin at your thighs.

You focused on her hands and exhaled a shaky breath as you conjured up the memories of that day. It was supposed to be any other day really, and yet, as you and Agatha plotted to corner a lone witch who was wandering by herself in the woods, Nicky had decided to interfere. He didn’t just ask you not to kill the witch. No, he had actually begged in a way you knew you couldn’t refuse. In a way that kind of paralyzed both Agatha and you. ‘We can kill more witches tomorrow’, he had said, hopeful. That sentence had hit you like thousands of bricks crushing upon you. The weight of that plea had been unbearable, not just for what it meant, but for what it revealed. What if Nicky was starting to believe that killing witches was something normal to do, something that needed to be done, every other day? But worse, so much worse, what if he felt responsible, as much as you and Agatha were? The way he said ‘we’, that single, damning word– You’d rather die than let him carry even a shred of your guilt. Of the actions only you and Agatha were to blame for.

“I feel like I let him down,” you muttered breakingly, unable to elaborate further.

Agatha’s frown deepened as she shook her head slowly but firmly. She had her suspicions that your distress could revolve around that. But she would be damned before letting you believe that, in any way, you had disappointed your son, “You did exactly the opposite. Don’t you see? You… we showed mercy.” Despite the circumstances.

Your gaze shifted to the flame again, as you nibbled at the inside of your cheek. You didn’t know if that was true. You wanted it to be, but–

Agatha’s hands ran up to your face then, fingers brushing the curve of your jaw before settling beneath your chin. She turned it, eager to meet your gaze, to dive into those eyes of yours and suck away your pain, “you listened to him. You did exactly what he asked of us.”

Despite your initial snort, the curve of a tight smile crossed your lips, “how could we not?”

Agatha nodded with a grin, as she playfully nudged at your arm, “he’s too much like you not to question every single thing we do.”

When she heard you chuckle quietly, her gaze softened. There you were, the real you, slowly crawling back to her.

“He’s got the best of each of us.”

Agatha’s chin tilted up, pride flickering across her face at your remark, “absolutely.”

“Do you ever think about her?” She knew right away who you were talking about, but waited for you to say her name to answer you, “I mean, about Rio.”

Agatha raised her head to better look at you in the eyes, “Course, I do–”, she admitted with a tight smile. There was no point in lying, was there? Despite everything, Rio would always be a part of her heart that unfortunately got ripped from her, from you. And Nicky.

Your features dimmed a bit, and your nose scrunched up in thought, “she warned us, so we would be prepared for that day to come, and yet–” you exhaled, your voice still barely above a whisper. So small and fearful, Agatha’s heart ached right away.

She slid an arm around your middle, “and yet?” She repeated, encouragingly, her fingers smothered over your arm.

You sighed. “It’s not just Nicky I’m worried about,” your voice came out in a low murmur, and Agatha had to lean closer to you to grasp it. “It’s Rio, too. I’m terrified that someday this love I feel for her will twist into hate.” And that was the last thing you wanted. Because you loved Rio, despite everything. And you wanted to keep that sentiment intact, because it made you, you. “But if she takes him–” your voice dropped in fear, your chest suddenly too tight to allow your words to slip out completely. You were afraid of the person you’d become if she succeeded and you failed. Afraid of change in general.

Agatha’s arms tightened around you, and at the same moment her lips pressed against the top of your head, in a small, comforting gesture, that served for the both of you.

“I just wonder why–?” Your voice croaked, and you had to swallow a lump in your throat, before continuing, “why does it have to be this way?”

She clenched her eyes at your question, “I don’t know, my love. I wish I knew, I wish–”

“It’s just not right, Agatha. It cannot be.”

It was easier to be delusional, to fool yourself into believing that as long as you were alive, Nicky would be too. All you had to do was kill witches every other day. It was wrong, a cowardly move, but neither of you knew any better.

“It’s not,” she muttered firmly. When you pulled away to take in her face, her fingers smothered your hair, exactly as she would do with Nicky every morning, “I wish things were different,” her lips curved into a faint, fragile smile that barely held.

You nodded weakly. She was trying her best, too. Honestly, at this point you thought everyone was doing his part. Rio included. After all, she was giving Nicky time, when he wasn’t even supposed to take his first breath.

When a single tear slipped from Agatha’s eyes, it was your turn to brush it away.

“I never thought there would come a time where I’d hate one of you.”

Your eyes widened in shock at those words.

A pout formed on your lips. “No, hey. Don’t talk like that,” shakingly, reverently, your palms cradled her cheeks. Your eyes welled up once again, you couldn’t help it. Agatha didn’t hate Rio, of that you were sure. And you didn’t either. “Maybe the answer is to not hate her. I mean, who says we have to?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and said nothing for a moment, thinking, mulling over the possibility of still loving her, despite everything. “If she does take him, as she said she would–” she hesitated, her voice dripping with a whirlwind of emotions. Fear, anger, frustration. Agatha had always known what Rio was capable of, that she was a much more powerful witch than she could ever dream to be. And if it never bothered her at first, it surely did now because she was powerless against her, against the things she could do.

“I’m not sure I could ever forgive her. Damn–” a breathless chuckle, humourless and bitter escaped her. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same…”

You stilled and looked momentarily taken aback by her words. Agatha was being honest with you, she was once again opening her heart to you, but the weight on your shoulders could only duplicate, because you and only you were the key to save Nicky, to prevent things from changing drastically. And if you failed, it was on you. Agatha’s pain, Nicky’s and yours. Even Rio’s.

Your jaw tightened, as you tutted, “sometimes I wish we could jump to that, end all the suffering now and give him a proper chance.”

In order to live, Nicky needed to die first.

Agatha’s face paled, however she didn’t dare to interrupt you.

“And I know that my magic doesn’t come without risks, but I’m ready. Hell- it feels like I was born for this. I can save him, and I will– no matter the cost– no matter how much it will shatter my soul to–” To hold your lifeless child’s body.

Noticing your struggle, Agatha decided to step in, “hey, no, shhh– don’t go there. He’s here. He’s still right here.”

It was true. But for how long still?

Leaning closer, Agatha ran both her hands up and down your arms, in a featherlike touch, meaning to ease your panic, “I’ll be there with you, you hear me? You won’t have to face it alone. Never. Your price to pay is mine, too,” she promised solemnly.

Hesitantly, you attempted a weak nod of your head and she nodded back, in an encouraging way.

“And then…” She trailed off, fingers gently ghosting over your skin. Never leaving. Never daring to. You were her anchor, after all. “We will be okay. Finally free.”

It was nice to imagine a happy ending. So you focused on that, you had to. A pang of relief washed over you, as soon as you did. She was right. Of course, she was. She had to be. You nodded again, a watery chuckle slipped from you.

Agatha opened her arms, then, “Come here,” pulling you closer, she pressed her forehead against yours. When her mouth brushed against the corner of yours, your eyes glimmered, and so did Agatha’s, despite still being a bit red and puffy for all the crying.

After a moment of silence, you cleared your throat to speak again, “I was thinking—” your eyes darted back to Nicky. You stared at him for a bunch of seconds, memories of that morning coming back to you, and causing your lips to press in a line. He didn’t look well. You wanted to blame the light of the moon for making his skin appear so milky, yet you knew it had nothing to do with that. He needed help. Magic, to be exact. And that day, you and Agatha had failed to grant him some.

“You should take some of my power— you know, for Nicky,” you tumbled out.

As soon as your words slipped out, Agatha pulled away from you, her eyes stared into yours, long and hard and shadows fell across her face.

You winced, “Agatha.. I know it’s scary, but–”

Her eyes narrowed, as she sat up, putting a small distance between you and her. Her tone came out sharp, “I’m sorry but you don’t know anything.”

You took the blow in silence, looking away from her. It hurt. You knew your request could upset her and it did. But it was worth a try, “if you say so.”

She raised her eyebrows when you said that, then she grabbed your chin, forcing you to keep your gaze on her. She wasn’t going to let you look away, not now, not with that tone you’d used, condescending, as if you were the only one fighting, the only one willing to try anything.

“You know I can’t do this,” her breath hitched, frustration filling her voice. “I could kill you, damnit!”

All you wanted was to help your son. A soft hum tumbled from your lips, causing her heart to burst, quite literally. You knew what she was capable of, and yet you still believed she could stop in time, if she only tried.

Her fingers softened against your jaw, so did her voice, “tell me why you’d suggest something like that?”

Nicky didn’t look good, that’s why.

You stared at her with the same intensity, “because Nicky needs it, Agatha.”

She stilled for a moment and clenched her jaw, “That’s not enough reason to willingly and dumbly sacrifice yourself!”

You swallowed– you didn’t mean to. But before you could say it, she urged on. “He needs you. Hell, I need you. You’re his only hope to– we just talked about that!” Agatha wanted to scream, to raise her voice, you saw that by the way her magic was trembling and gathering around her, around you. You sure pushed a sore point there.

You recoiled then, “okay… okay,” you muttered, reaching out to touch her shaky hands. She was right, you knew she was, but the fear for your son’s health had blurred your judgment for a second.

Agatha’s voice dropped, “what makes you think I could ever live with myself if I took your life?”

A whimper tumbled from your lips. “I’m sorry— I only asked because I trust you,” you trailed off, your voice shaking a bit. “I’m not deliberately asking you to kill me. I would never. I quite like being alive,” your attempt at humor made Agatha crack a smile, a tight, very brief gesture, you wished you could freeze in time to always replay in your mind.

“Well flash news for you, I can’t,” she muttered, in a lower tone. Resigned, even. “So please, don’t bring it up again.”

You nodded carefully. “Okay. It’s fine.” It really wasn’t but you couldn’t really force her, so you didn’t push it any further. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

When Agatha lifted her gaze once again to meet your eyes, she noticed your face all scrunched up and her stomach dropped. How soft she was for you was beyond her understanding.

“If you apologize one more time, so help me Dark Mother–” she responded, her tone a tad more playful and light than a moment ago.

You gave her a sheepish look then.

“I understand you. I truly do,” she breathed out, her fingers curling around yours. “I just can’t bear the thought of putting you in danger. If something were to go wrong–”

Your eyes softened, you looked at her in a way to say that it wasn’t necessary for her to continue, “I got it. It was a bad idea, stop tormenting yourself now, ‘kay?”

She scoffed, yet you could clearly see her lips curling up a bit, “easy for you to say after nearly giving me a heart attack-!” she pulled back with a click of her tongue.

You chuckled again, “I’m sorry–”

Agatha rolled her eyes, which only made you chuckle harder. Hadn’t she told you to stop apologizing for whatever reason? You had to bite your bottom lip then, when she cocked an eyebrow at you. Agatha’s hands slid down and gripped at your waist. With extreme ease, she pulled your body even closer to hers, and then, she pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. When she pulled away, she caught you blushing and her heart bursted with so much love.

You cleared your throat, as she tucked a strand of your hair from your face, “you’re such a wonderful mom to our son, Agatha Harkness.”

She stilled. You could clearly see the emotion in her eyes, raw and vulnerable. It meant the world coming from you, “you’re not bad yourself,” she teased, making you nod and chuckle again. Then she turned serious, her thumb grazing your cheekbones, eyes getting lost in every detail of your face, “I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for him, actually.”

You looked momentarily taken aback, but in a good way.

She adored everything about you, every expression that crossed your face, every little reaction she could draw from you. There wasn’t a single thing about you that felt out of place. You were beautiful, so beautiful, sometimes she thought she didn’t deserve you.

Unaware of Nicky stirring beneath his blanket, his small body shifting as he rubbed sleepily at his eyes, Agatha leaned in and placed her lips, warm and plump, against yours. Her hands rested firmly on your waist, grounding you in the moment, while your fingers found their way into her thick, unruly hair, twisting and tugging gently exactly how she liked it.

Agatha hummed pleasantly, a smile curling upwards, "delicious,” she praised.

Your eyes lit up, a chuckle slipped out, “thanks. You’re yummy,too.”

Agatha threw her head back and blew a raspberry, “yummy? How old are you? One hundred and fifty?”

You scoffed. Before you could reply to that, another voice preceded you. Both you and Agatha spun around towards your son sitting down in the middle of his bedroll.

“Moms?” He said with a yawn.

“Hey, big man,” you brushed a stray lock of hair back, tucking it behind your ear, “What’s up?”

He looked pale, paler than usual, but you tried with all your being not to focus too much on that detail. You’d kill a witch first thing in the morning tomorrow. That was the plan. It was going to be fine.

“Can I sleep with you?”

“Of course, you can–” Agatha smiled. “Hop here,” she patted the spot between you and her, and he immediately jumped to his feet, his blanket still over his shoulders, as he landed between you two. Once settled, you three laid back, your arms wrapped instinctively around Nicky’s body, his cheek on your chest, your chin above his head. Agatha snuggled closer, she placed a protective arm over you and Nicky, and pressed a soft kiss over Nicky’s temple.

“Better?” You asked him.

“Very much. Thanks.”

A small smile tugged at your lips, as you stared at him with pure fondness, occasionally peppering small kisses over the crown of his head. In the meantime, Agatha ghosted her free hand over Nicky’s hair, knowing way too well that little trick would make him fall asleep.

When you lifted your chin, yours and Agatha’s eyes met. She mouthed ‘I love you’ in your direction, which made your heart flutter. You gave her a grin, before reaching out, trying not to disturb Nicky’s sleep, and pressed your lips to hers in a kiss– a goodnight kiss, perhaps. As your lips parted, you stayed close, your breath mingling with hers as you whispered, “love you, too.”

#agathario #agatha all along #agatha harkness x reader #wlw #nicholas scratch #agatha harness x rio vidal #agatha x rio x reader #hurt/comfort #emotional #witches #lesbians

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kteezy997 · 7 months ago

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The Heart of a Bene Gesserit- Part Four//Paul Atreides//Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen

Warnings: cursing, smut, threesome, f and m receiving oral sex

“As a Bene Gesserit, I feel that it is my duty to see how you are being treated here. But please trust that I have no ulterior motives. I’m not wholly certain of the conditions of the slave quarters, but I’d like to find out.”

“Well, the food is shit, they give you just enough water to stay alive after being out in the scorching desert all day, and the beds here are hard and cold, but other than that, it is rather pleasing.” the biting sarcasm from the youngest Harkonnen was palpable.

“Mm-hmm.” you nodded, “I will speak to the Emperor, he needs to be more generous to the men who mind his spice. What you have is not enough.”

“That is very honorable of you…”

“Y/n.”

“Y/n.” he said your name, smiling and giving you a glimpse of his teeth. “But I fear that your suggestions will fall upon deaf ears. I cannot blame Atreides, if our roles were reversed, I'd have him enslaved as well, or I'd have just killed him. Our families have held hatred for one another for centuries, you should already know that."

“But he shouldn’t hate you, Feyd. You were just a boy, the same as Paul, when his father was killed. You were not a conspirator against the Atreides.”

“I have to ask: why are you lending yourself to my cause? Is it because Atreides has rejected your advances? Has he refused to give you the heir you were sent to acquire?” his dark eyes narrowed down at you, putting you on the spot.

You shook your head, “How did you know about the mission?”

Feyd-Rautha shrugged, “People talk. We don’t have much down here besides talk of spice. But the slaves have learned much about you, y/n.”

“Hm.” you huffed, “Well, you may know that I never did advance on Paul. He is my friend.”

“Friend? An Emperor has no friends, only followers.” he knew this to be true, as he was almost Emperor himself.

“Paul and I knew each other as children on Caladan.”

His non-existent brows raised up, he blinked slowly, “Oh, a childhood crush, is it?” he smirked.

You looked down, "I do not wish to speak of this."

"I suppose he rejected you, and now you're bored, so you're after the next best thing-"

"Silence!" you used the Voice.

Feyd's eyes closed, the movement of his mouth ceased against his will. "I see you've mastered the Voice."

"I am Bene Gesserit, of course I have. They do not let you graduate without doing so."

"I can also see that this is a sensitive topic for you, so I'll change the subject." Feyd slowly walked over toward the shadow edge of the roof. "I have a request for you, since Atreides won't likely show me any kindnesses."

You were intrigued, but also worried at what he could have wanted from you. "What is your request?"

"Get me off-world, back to Geidi Prime. Somewhere I can hide out from the Emperor."

"Feyd, he would kill you if he even knew you asked me that." youj warned.

"Precisely. Which is why he would never know."

You sighed, "You have given me much to consider, but I should be leaving. I have a feeling we are being watched by one of the servants."

Feyd gave you a smirk, "Well darling, if I knew we were being watched, I would have given them a show."

........

You left Feyd-Rautha and the slaves' quarters, returning to your wing of the House. You felt a little bit exhausted after your conversation with the Harkonnen and all the thoughts of Paul's reaction. You just wanted to sleep. You couldn't believe how quickly your life had come to revolve around two men.

You found yourself wrestling with thoughts of them both. You loved Paul Atreides, but there was something charming and also forbidden about his cousin Feyd. Were you attracted to the anti-Paul?

You took an afternoon nap, and your dreams became increasingly indecipherable from reality. First, there was Paul, your sweet Paul, his rich, dark curls falling in his face. The look of tenderness on his face warmed you up from the inside out. Then, the smooth, naked skin of Feyd-Rautha, his piercing eyes sending chills all down your body.

In this dream, you were in bed. Were they, taking turns with you? Feyd was waiting patiently by the bed, while Paul was kissing you all over. You were naked and breathless, trembling, even.

Paul had moved his face between your legs, flicking his Fremen blue eyes up at you. He started to lap his tongue between your folds. But it seemed that Feyd was having a difficult time only watching. As Paul sucked at the tiny bundle above your opening, you felt the bed sink at your side.

Feyd placed his big hand on your head, smoothing your hair back. He traced his fingers along your face, trailing down your chin, your chest, all to cup your breast in his hand. You gasped as he pinched your nipple.

Paul nibbled and kissed your inner thighs and rubbed your clit with his fingers.

You noticed Feyd's other hand at his waistband, and he pulled his pants down. Your eyes met his pale, veiny cock as he brought it to your lips. You opened your mouth, obediently, inviting his length. You moistened him with your saliva, sucking as best as you could.

Paul was moving up your body, his lips traveling along your stomach. He too, cupped your breast. Each man held your breasts, and your nipples hardened against their palms.

Paul's face was now close to yours as you had Feyd's cock in your mouth. He watched you, adjusted his body between your legs. You could then feel the tip of his cock prodding at your wet entrance.

You were then in a horny daze as you were abruptly woken by a servant barging into your bedroom.

"Sorry to wake you, my lady, but it is time for dinner."

"Who gave you the right to barge into my room while I'm sleeping?" you barked, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"Well, His Majesty, the Emperor, does, my lady."

You rolled your eyes, "Of course he does."

…….

That evening at dinner, you didn’t sit next to Paul, you didn’t talk to him, you didn’t even look at him. You wanted him to feel your absence, your neglect of him. He had been cold and rude toward you, so why should you warm up to him?

As you ate, you looked over at Gurney Halleck, sensing something about him. You were nearly positive you were being watched with Feyd-Rautha earlier. Gurney was behind it, you were certain. But why? Was it Gurney acting alone in his suspicion of you? Or did Paul put this into place?

As the meal ended, you made it a point to get up from your chair and simply head back to your room, without trading words or even a glance with Paul. No Bene Gesserit tricks, as you promised. You would get him to come to you, if he so wished, the natural way. Deprivation.

It was nary a moment after you closed your bedroom door before there was a knock. You knew who it was. You opened the door, “Paul.”

“Y/n.” said the Emperor. “Are you alright? I heard you spent the whole afternoon in your room. You did not come to council. Are you ill?”

“No, I am not ill. You should not bother yourself with worry about me, Paul Atreides. You have much more important duties.”

“You know you are important to me.” he said, resting his hand on the door frame. “You are my one true friend. As long as you are alive, I will care for you. That is all this is.”

“A true friend? Is that why you sent a spy for me?”

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet smut #dune part two #paul atreides smut #paul atreides x reader #feyd x reader #feyd rautha #paul atreides

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gotskamstuff · 2 months ago

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I am actually heartbroken right now, there’s no other way I have to describe it if not heartbreak and the thing is that I don’t even mean it because of the emotions evoked by the story, it’s actual pain by seeing my favorite show being ruined.

‘Cause I’m sorry but the show is forever ruined for me and I won’t be able to look at it with the same eyes ever again. I’ve said it once before when we were discussing rumors and I’ll say it once again now that we have seen it become a reality…this to me goes behind JJ being a fan favorite and even behind the ship, this is genuinely something that made me lose trust in the storytelling and in the core that’s this show.

This makes no sense, ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

Once again I’ll repeat it, I’m no snowflakes when it comes to characters death in shows (hello? Game of thrones fan here? I suffered like a dog) but damn, there’s gotta be a sense for a character dying and there’s absolutely none here, this is also not the type of show when it would be needed.

I’ve always said it and a character like JJ could’ve ended only in ONE WAY to give justice to him and to his story: LIVING HIS FUTURE.

When I say this ruins how I view the show and my trust in the storytelling I mean it with my whole chest, this has ruined JJ’s story from season 1 episode 1 “The Pilot” to this day, JJ’s ENTIRE story doesn’t mean anything anymore…what was the reason for all this? JJ’s story has always revolved around him never believing to have a righteous future in store for him, never believing he could have something good for himself and you get the idea, his whole story arc was about him never seeing anything for him…and he doesn’t? HE ACTUALLY DOESN’T HAVE A FUTURE? What was the point? What was the poiny of seeing JJ struggling from day 1? What was the point of exploring his insecurities? What was the point of seeing him falling in love? This is what I find the most heartbreaking, if I put season 1 episode 1 on right now and I see JJ on my screen, the first thing that comes to mind is: What was the point of any of this? If he never overcame his struggles and still didn’t get closure with Luke? If he died still believing only a episode earlier that he still didn’t have a future for him? If he still struggled to accept the love and never overcame his insecurities? If he never got that future he dreamed about? (which yeah ok he got for like what? 5 minutes of screentime) …what was the point in JJ’s entire story if he never got to prove himself wrong?

The only right way a character like JJ could’ve seen his story end with dignity would’ve literally been living that future he was sure he’d never have: have a house, a job, a family, HAVE KIDS, grow old not being a drunk in prison. And they killed him TWICE in my opinion, physically and also morally by making him die not being himself and still with all that anger and fear inside him and without his story ever finding closure.

None of this does justice to JJ’s story and his arc.

This is honestly what I can’t wrapped my head around, the reason why JJ was a fan favorite was not casual…it was because of his story, when we say “we watch for JJ” is because he’s one of those characters in a show that you’re rooting for, that you wanna see defeat the odds and get the ending his heart deserves…and I’m sorry to the writers because unintentionally they made him the protagonist just as much as John B if not even more at times. When we say there’s no excitement to watch the show now this is the reason: what’s there to root for if we were rooting for their better future and this was the whole story SINCE SEASON ONE?

I had big hopes for this season and I actually enjoyed part 1 but wow was I let down, this ending just killed the entire show for me…there’s no sense in this.

I know I’m repeating myself now but I can’t stress this enough, it destroyed the show ‘cause it ruined the entire purpose of the story. Looking back now nothing about JJ’s story was worth the pain and suffering he went through and looking forward what’s there to say anymore? They’re gonna go hunt for this crown and get rich? Ok, wasn’t the whole moral of the story about the real treasure being their found family?

I loved this show since April 2020 and I would’ve gladly watched it for YEARS AND YEARS ON, but wow I would’ve rather seen it end in the trilogy or with this season with a different ending, leaving a good memory.

I’m not gonna lie…I knew this was gonna happen, I tried to not trust the rumors and I tried to think rationally but when Rudy and the producer unfollowed each other, when Rudy didn’t share anything about S5, when in part the whole story was building around the Pouges being mad at JJ and not saying “I love you back” I kinda figured AND STILL I was hoping to be wrong and I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised ‘cause I knew how bitter it would’ve left me.

And I mean it, I’m heartbroken AND MAD. The story totally ruined.

And can I get this straight, everyone is already jumping on Rudy’s ass ‘cause yeah let’s be real, he probably was done with the show and and all that jazz and it’s not cool at all, but IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME…actors ask to leave shows all the time and in the end it’s still the writers call to decide how to make it happen, there are tons of different ways to write a character off ESPECIALLY A CHARACTER LIKE JJ, who always had that element of spontaneous take outs and with the blank paga that they had with the “surf trip”. There’s only ONE season left, I don’t think that Rudy would’ve refused if asked “hey of we can work around this, how about 5 minutes of screen time in the final episode?”…an open ending for his character that left the audience wonder “what’s JJ doing around the world?” “Where did he go?” would’ve been much more dignified for his story. In the end if they put a definitive ending to him and it was THEIR decision.

I’m actually devastated and I know it sounds exaggerated but this to me has also ruined the entire Jiara community as well…like what do we have left?

There was still so much they had left to their own story, KIARA’S STORY!! What was the point for her to fight so hard for him? to lose everything for him and get what in the end? TO HAVE HER WHOLE STORY REVOLVE AROUND HIM (‘cause that’s exactly what they did this season)? What a waste.

And it makes me incredibly sad ‘cause it has ruined all my excitement towards this part of the fandom that we built a community around…waht do we do with Jiara now? There was still so much I wanted to write for them in fictions and wanted to read from others but this has for the moment completely ruined my motivation to write for them and to even read their ff, knowing their story in canon ended and ended tragically, there’s nothing for their future. This is what I find so sad, there was left NOTHING to the imagination, nothing to let us wonder about their future.

This story ended today and I’ll never be able to look at it the same IF I’LL look at it. What’s the point of a story moving forward if the thing people were rooting for is gone? What are we rooting for if the Pogues are dead and the family is done? ‘Cause yeah, JJ was the core of the Pogues.

I find hard to believe that season 1 and 2 are the same show from season 3 and 4. The writing killed the show for good.

I hope WITH ALL MY HEART that I’ll be able to find back my excitement for my favorite show once again and that I’ll still be able to enjoy Jiara’s content again but I really find it impossible now.

I would’ve never thought that OBX, that show I watched in 2020 with genuine admiration for its story and way of portraying it could’ve been ruined like this. 💔

#outer banks #obx #jj maybank #obx netflix #obx4 #obx s4 #jiara #kiara carrera #outer banks netflix #obx spoilers #outer banks spoilers

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vimbry · 8 months ago

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*if you've heard a couple songs but don't really know much about them, or haven't listened in a long while, you can play!

update: the highest votes went to gudetama. but was it correct? here are the full titles and albums.

❌ "put your hand inside the puppet head" - they might be giants

the opening verse makes reference to leaving one's job and how "it's sad to say, you will romanticise all the things you've known before. it was not, not, not so great". according to flansburgh, "the lyric revolves around the idea that looking back on anything colors it in sentimentality".

❌ "I'll sink manhattan" - they'll need a crane (ep)/miscellaneous T

this is a flansburgh song, but linnell explained its meaning in a 1989 interview with NME as "a song about a guy who somehow figures out how to sink the island of manhattan just to kill his ex-lover, so it's his apology to the other people he's gonna kill in between. he's just gotta do it!"

❌ "meet james ensor" - john henry

it's about james ensor (belgium's famous painter).

❌ "wicked little critta" - mink car

from the tmbg unlimited collection: "forged in the crucible of an eastern massachusetts junior high, this song expresses the dreams, fears and hopes of a new england young adult" the lyrics seem to suggest said young adult fantasising about being a sports star alongside bobby orr and john havlicek while goofing off outside.

❌ "working undercover for the man" - mink car

from flansburgh: "it's more a meditation on the "mod squad" [a 1968 crime series about cool undercover detectives] than anything else. the idea of the narc just seems... like, those episodes of "dragnet" where they have the young undercover dress in a hippie suit."

✔️ "talent is an asset" - kimono my house

the lyrics illustrate an overly-cautious family shielding their very gifted child from others, to keep him studious and soak in all the glory, and is heavily implied to be little albert einstein through puns on relatives and relativity. it's not by them, tho. it's by the band sparks. it came 2nd, so I think many of you recognised it (or really wanted to see the results!)

❌ "bee of the bird of the moth" - the else

"this is a song about a creature called a hummingbird moth, which imitates another creature, which imitates yet another creature. it's completely fucked up, and can only be explained in song!" so they did.

❌ "2082" - join us

thewrap's review of the album describes this song as, "a science-fiction short story (...) a protagonist who travels into the future, finds himself hobbled but still unhappily alive all the way into the next millennium, and travels back to the title year to smother himself with a pillow in a mercy killing". fun!

❌ "call you mom" - nanobots

referred to by linnell as an "oedipus pan" song, the lyrics follow an unfortunate young man beginning a relationship with a woman, getting dumped due to his behaviour of treating her like a mother figure, then infantilising a possibly younger woman in a different relationship and in turn leaving her, who goes on to experience the same issues. fun! (altho, the final chorus actually still refers to her Mom leaving, not her dad, I got the details wrong there in the poll).

❌ "gudetama's busy days" - dial-a-song / my murdered remains

yes, that's a real song. quote flansburgh: "(...) it is really just about feeling isolated from the world, even if you are in a crowded place and manically trying to keep up with your life. the character of gudetama appealed to me because he is such a mopey sad sack."

❌ "marty beller mask" - album raises new and troubling questions

this is real, too! it's just about how marty beller was actually an alter ego of whitney houston the whole time. he's not, but wouldn't that be interesting. the song name-checks multiple of her own in the lyrics. it was temporarily retired out of respect following houston's death (4 months after its release), returning to live performances ten years later in 2022.

#I know this minor detail might make one obvious but I can't let it slide!#sorry everyone. would you kindly delete any old versions and pass it around again. <3 #tmbg

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agentrouka-blog · 4 months ago

Note

"There was hunger in his(Tyrion) green eye, it seemed to her, and fury in the black. Sansa did not know which scared her more."- Sansa(ASOS).

"He wanted something from her, but Sansa did not know what it was. He looks like a starving child, but I have no food to give him."- Sansa(ASOS).

Sansa compared Tyrion lust for her with him hungry for food.

"The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard." - Jon(ADWD)

"He have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it."- Jon(ASOS).

In first quote Jon was thinking about food supply from Vale and in later he was thinking about he wanted to become lord of WF and have a family but feels guilty.

Do you think it's about Jonsa?

Great obervation, please-dot! <3

There's another language parallel involving Tyrion and Sansa and Winterfell that mirrors Jon's thoughts in Winterfell.

I want her, he realized. I want Winterfell, yes, but I want her as well, child or woman or whatever she is. I want to comfort her. I want to hear her laugh. I want her to come to me willingly, to bring me her joys and her sorrows and her lust. His mouth twisted in a bitter smile. Yes, and I want to be tall as Jaime and as strong as Ser Gregor the Mountain too, for all the bloody good it does. (ASOS, Tyrion IV)

It compares well with the quote you used above.

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade. A hunger . . . he could feel it. It was food he needed, prey, a red deer that stank of fear or a great elk proud and defiant. He needed to kill and fill his belly with fresh meat and hot dark blood. His mouth began to water with the thought. (ASOS, Jon XII)

When Tyrion and Sansa do eat together, the food is distasteful, or their appetites incompatible.

Another thematic link would be Sansa refusing the offer of a pomegranate from Littlefinger, where the Hades-Persephone symbolism underlines her rejection of him. The closest he gets to her appetite is the giant lemon cake model of the Eyrie served up at the feast for the upcoming tourney, and yet her thoughts revolve around Harry and she is never seen eating of it.

Jon's relationship with food also turns impersonal. What meals he has aren't joyful, they even congeal uneaten. Long forgotten are the days of sweet summerwine and honeyed chicken, or the celebratory meals taken with his new black brothers. Everything revolves around food but Jon becomes divorced from the joy of eating.

Catelyn voices that connection very well.

I am become a sour woman, Catelyn thought. I take no joy in mead nor meat, and song and laughter have become suspicious strangers to me. I am a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings. There is an empty place within me where my heart was once. (ACOK, Catelyn VII)

The connection to the food stores of the Eyrie becomes doubly interesting in that context. GRRM specifically phrased it as feeding Jon himself.

I strongly suspect that when Jon and Sansa meet again, food will take on as symbolic a role as gifts of clothing or mutual offers of protection. There's a very unnecessary, almost random paragraph during Joffrey's wedding that has never left my mind:

And there was one woman, sitting almost at the foot of the third table on the left . . . the wife of one of the Fossoways, he thought, and heavy with his child. Her delicate beauty was in no way diminished by her belly, nor was her pleasure in the food and frolics. Tyrion watched as her husband fed her morsels off his plate. They drank from the same cup, and would kiss often and unpredictably. Whenever they did, his hand would gently rest upon her stomach, a tender and protective gesture. (ASOS, Tyrion VIII)

It's one of the sweetest interactions of any couple depicted in the series, and it revolves around the simple worldly pleasures of food and drink, affection and new life. They eat together, joyfully. The contrast to Tyrion's empty hunger, and to the stilted tension surrounding food that has crept into so many abusive relationships is evident.

So, yes, I think that repeated imagery is very intentional and will return when it is time to feast, metaphorically.

#jonsa #food symbolism #jon snow #sansa stark #anti tyrion lannister #littlefinger

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gabessquishytum · 1 month ago

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How about another mafia prince installment? Leading off from the last one: (https://www.tumblr.com/gabessquishytum/754470348283641856/that-last-ask-about-mafia-prince-dream-baby)

The twins are in college themselves now, with Robyn pretty firmly his father’s heir in the family business, and Orpheus happily immersed in the world of music with little to do with the mafia world.

That is, until the scion of another mob family, Eurydice, starts courting him with what appears to be the same level of obsession as his father had for his dad all those years ago.

When his family learns of this, naturally his father and brother are fully prepared to step in to protect him, but neither of them are able to approach the protective ferocity of his dad. Hob may have long since resigned himself to his new life and his love for Morpheus, but he has never forgotten how he was force into it all, and he will be damned if he lets it happen again to one of his precious boys.

The wind is taken out of his sails by Orpheus blushingly revealing that he’s quite happy with the situation, actually. He might’ve been quieter about it, but growing up he was just as affected as Robyn was by the story of their parents’ romance, and he’d been secretly thrilled when he realized it was happening to him, even with the roles reversed. So long as he can keep his music, he’d be glad to someday be Eurydice’s mafia wife.

With that revelation, Morpheus is quite happy to enter into alliance negotiations with Eurydice’s family on his son’s behalf. In the meantime though, he was rather struck by Hob’s apparent full willingness to go to war in order to protect their son. He’s feeling like locking himself and his husband away in their bedroom for a day or two might be in order, so that he can properly express his appreciation of such a display from his usually-sweetly-submissive darling 😉.

Robyn is simply sighing in envy and wondering when he’ll finally meet someone who inspires the same level of devotion in him as his dad does for his father, and also apparently as his brother does for his new girlfriend.

-🪽anon

I'm low-key obsessed with demure Hob suddenly going feral because of his kids.

He takes Orpheus aside one day, during the beginning of the courting process. He claims that they're going for a trip to one of Orpheus's favourite record store, but its really just an excuse for Hob to get him alone. Orpheus takes one look at his dad's face and realises that this is serious. Hob’s got this whole speech prepared: "this can stay between you and me, we don't have to involve your father, we can keep it quiet - i've learned a thing or two living this lifestyle and i can get rid of Eurydice, make it look like an accident, and everything will go back to normal" and Orpheus, who has never seen his dad so much as squash a spider, is pretty shocked. He has to quickly explain that he likes Eurydice and he thinks the aggressive courting process is so romantic. He's really looking forward to making things more official.

And Hob is like "oh okay cool! do you want to talk about wedding colours?" as he subtly tucks his revolver back into his pocket.

Of course he tells Morpheus all about his conversation with Orpheus, later on. They don't have any secrets between them, and Hob is perfectly happy to admit that he'd kill for his boys. Morpheus nearly cums inside his pristine black suit trousers at the idea of his sweet, gentle husband being so... violent. Usually Morpheus is happily the more dominant partner in their sex life, but now he's curious as to whether he should let Hob take a turn in charge...

Meanwhile Eurydice takes Orpheus out to the opera and the two lovebirds happily daydream about a future where they'll be ecstatically happy, just like Orpheus's parents <3

#🪽 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #mafia au

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skeletoninthemelonland · 5 months ago

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Sorry for sending another ask so soon, but-

Don't be shy, spit the frog (italian way to say spill the tea)

I WANNA KNOWWWNWNFNGNG

okay i'm spilling some of the frogs, the tea, I WILL DESEMBUCHAR (word for spilling the truth in portuguese)

springtrap and bell (ballora) do know each other but from a certain distance (he's with the phantoms, and she belongs in the funtime crew). there's never this 'strange feeling' that they've met before because, literally... they never met!

the reason for them to be arguing a lot is due to remnant usage, whose importance is constantly brought up in the universe of BTC. springtrap uses them for his own selfish purposes, while bell is searching for more to help a friend stay active, amongst other reasons that involve the safety and entertainment of backstage residents.

bell is one of the very few bots that has directly confronted springtrap for his actions and usual mean behavior (sometimes on the same level of aggressiveness, other times a single glare is enough). she refuses to stay silent and reality downs on him that the stuff he's saying and doing is harming people.

they are basically the closest thing to human adults in this digitalized city of ghost children, with bell sacrificing a lot more of her time protecting those around her than springtrap (especially before they met)

bell is a chaotic, stubborn altruistic type paired up with self-destructive tendencies as a defense mechanism, considering she is painfully aware of her purpose as a child killing, remnant harvester robot. springtrap contrasts that part of her personality by being aloof, cautious and egocentric, and by pushing others away, acting as if the world revolves around his success in escaping UCN and becoming one with the entity. these contrasting traits often generate conflict, especially later on, when more secrets are revealed.

i like to think they help each other learn from their mistakes with this dumb, tom and jerry beef they have going on, but saying there's any hint of romantic love between them in the beginning feels objectively wrong (considering the amount of times springtrap has said hurtful and otherwise mean things to her).

both are competitive by nature. expect them to be counting how many remnants they caught in a single night.

the more they get to know each other the more they display their true selves, ofc. springtrap has a quieter, observant, genuinely concerned side where he listens instead of talking over people in that loud, cheeky and arrogant tone. bell seems to be a lot more of an anxious and impatient person, thoughts racing at all times and sometimes causing her to shut everyone out. black cat and orange cat behavior, respectively.

they often debate about human nature and the limits of artificial intelligence, and how they, two self-aware small pieces of a larger puzzle stuck in a digital dimension, fit inside these two labels. both are detached from either concepts, meanings losing importance the further they investigate. still, that doesn't stop them from displaying unwavering support whenever one is lost and afraid (works for both).

hand on shoulder, "are you alright?" glances, lending his cape, handmade gifts and favors. springtrap doesn't know how to be comforting, but he makes an effort.

he's more comfortable being secretive and working behind the curtains. events like claw machines suddenly functioning again, entire stages being repaired in a single night, random input of remnants in the electrical system, abandoned areas appearing tidy and organized... (they still wonder who's behind it all...)

when bell first showed up at the workshop for a simple repairs session, he took off her illusion disks and disabled the part of her programming that submitted to William Afton's orders. with that, the entity lost influence over her actions, and as a consequential effect, her eyes glow a bright yellow color, instead of the usual pink/purple hue.

compliments (lots of them), getting excited over the other's achievements, eagerly asking about their favorite topics. bell is that "saw this meme and thought of you" type of person.

scolding. both scold each other all the time. scolding as in "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING" and "oh wow that's the greatest idea you've ever had. i'm surprised we aren't dead because of your absolute GENIUS of a plan (/loudly sarcastic)"

#inbox #PHEW #behind the codes #starbstalks

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sexydoffyman · 1 year ago

Text

day 30 - CAPTURE AFTER CHASE

Phillip Graves

navigation

genre: smut

mdni

A lil TW: there's a bit of Stockholm syndrome.

You weren't really an enemy of his. You didn't work under any organisation or army. But you did certainly mess things up for him. When he saw what you did, he understood that his downfall was not your goal. Your little attack didn't even look like a threat.

Really, he was wondering what it was about for a while. One revolver and a sniper rifle missing. One man dead. Three injured. 30k missing. Something that he doesn't want to overlook but is not that big of a deal due to the size of Shadow Company.

He first thought that there was a spy amongst his men who was gathering some stuff to attack. What bugged him about the whole situation was that two weeks' worth of food had also gone missing.

He figured that the person who did this must have been only gathering supplies needed for survival. The harmed soldiers just got in the person's way. After this little incident he started noticing you more and more often.

He always figured it was you. You left black burn-like marks on the ground, and everyone was killed in a similar way. Graves didn't make connections between these two cases at first because he expected you to kill mostly with your sniper. After looking a little more into it tho. He realised that you always used your teeth or a knife and then finished the person off with a revolver. The same way you killed one of his men.

He was intrigued by you.

He got lucky when he spotted you after running into a freshly killed man. You were about 60 meters away already. Fortunately for him, you were heading into a forest near the spot where your killing took place. He knew that forest, so he ran around you to not make you aware of his presence.

Once in the forest, you felt someone was watching you. In your years of experience, you learned to trust your instincts. And that's exactly what you did. You tried to hide behind a wide tree. You were looking all over the place while not making a sound.

Suddenly, you heard his footsteps. You made a run for it. Bushes scratching the skin of your forearms, air drying up your eyes. You ran for your life. You heard him getting closer as you frantically thought of a way to get away from him.

Unfortunately, you didn't think fast enough.

He jumped at you, pinning you below him. "Asshole", he laughs, putting a gun to your head. "You stole 30k from me." He says almost threateningly. "What about the poor man I killed?" You questioned his morals. "He is replaceable." He said with a little guilt in his eyes. You thought about it he wasn't completely heartless. Maybe you'd be able to get out of this forest alive.

"You gonna shoot that thing?" You provoked him. "You want me to?" "You're talking like you want something." He chuckled, looking over your form. "You took a body from me. It'd be only fair if you'd give me one." He paused and then added. "Just for a couple of minutes."

"Exchanging lives for sex?" You were back to questioning his morals. "You want to live?" He said it in a teasing voice. "Sounds like we have a deal." You chuckled yourself at the situation you ended up in.

He tore your pants off of you while pulling his dick out. He held the gun to your head and kept pushing your body to the ground while thrusting into you. He was fucking deprived. You shoved no signs of resist.

He liked that. You took whatever he threw at you. I assure you he'd never go easy on you after what you pulled. He just fucked the shit out of you. He caught himself thinking about how adorable you looked. Tears in your eyes, your face pushed against the wet dirt and bark of the dark forest.

He wasn't planning on being nice with you. You looked so fucking dumb. His dick stretching you as he finished inside of you.

Be more aware of your surroundings and make sure no one is watching you when you leave the scene. He gave you a fucking advice when he left. Cocky asshole.

Strangely, he started noticing a certain sniper covering for him on his missions. How adorable.

#cod x you #cod x male reader #cod x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty #philip graves #graves #philip graves x reader #graves x reader #graves x you #graves x male reader #graves x female reader #cod x gn!reader #cod x female reader #philip graves smut #graves smut #cod kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2023

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linkspooky · 1 year ago

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MEGUMI WILL LIVE

Sukuna reverting to his Heian era form sent the fandom into a panic because everyone assumed that Sukuna fully reverting back meant Megumi is now permanently dead. It doesn't. I understand how the fans would be worried because of how unceremoniously Gojo was just offed, but remember even Gojo got a long fight beforehand only the finishing blow was offscreened. He's still in Megumi's body though, all he did was change the shape of Megumi's body to look like his heian era self. It's the same way that Choso transfigured his host body when he was inserted inside of it, or other members of the culling games like Hajime did. The original owner of the body is still alive, because if the owner dies then Sukuna would still die along with him.

However, not only is Megumi not dead currently he's not going to die and the rest of this post will be explaining why.

Angel explains in chapter 199, that the reincarnated players are cursed objects swallowed by bodies who then use the bodies as vessels, reshaping them and then suppressing the body's original owner. It's the same for Megumi, Megumi at the finger and became a vessel for Sukuna, but instead of transforming all the way Sukuna stopped the transformation halfway through - until now. However, even in that case Megumi's soul is still there just suppressed.

Angel: My objective is to wipe out all players who've recinarnated. Most of them do it by suppressing the vessel's original owner... whether internally or subconsciously. And that's against God's laws... so it's wrong. Megumi: God? Angel: That's just a name I give to my beliefs. Pay it no mind. Angel: So I decided to live in symbiosis with Hana. Megumi: Can your technique revert possessed players to their original state? Angel: It's not impossible, but it's extremely likely they will die... because the cursed object and body fuse. SO it's difficult to strip away one. Yuji: That's why Sukuna dies if I die.

Sukuna hasn't completely killed Megumi, he's just suppressed the host consciousness, that was essentially the entire purpose of both the bath, and then killing Tsumiki immediately afterwards to bury Megumi so deep he won't fight back.

However, as I said that's just the technical explanation. I'm going to make a thematic argument about why if only one character of the four main characters survives until the end of the manga like Gege predicted, it will be Megumi. Before I begin though this is just a theory, I'm not saying Yuji or Nobara deserves to die so if you're a fan of them please be chill. Megumi will live and here's why...

Megumi's character arc is about birth rather than death. Megumi is a child, the end goal of his character death is not for him to die and be at peace with his death like Gojo and in my prediction Yuji, but rather for him to grow from childhood into adulthood. Everything in his character revolves around this concept, even his name.

Megumi, named blessing by his father. A child who is blessed in many ways, born with a technique that would have given Toji acceptance in the Zen'in if he had it, born a prodigy that got the attention of Gojo Satoru, and not blessed in other ways, no father, no mother, no adult in his life to guide him and forced to become a sorcerer or starve from an early age. However, more than that the name represents Toji's desire for Megumi to have a better life than he did.

Toji: Take care of Megumi, okay? That place is ueslss for someone like me, but for him...for someone with potential...it'll be a little better. Toji: I don't care... I don't care anymore. Toji: Hey, what's your name? Megumi: Fushiguro. Toji: Not Zen'in, huh? Toji: Good for you.

I have said before that Jujutsu Kaisen is a tragedy, but tragedies aren't really hopeless stories where everyone dies and nothing good ever happens. Even while Gojo's death is tragic, his dying dream is bittersweet as he reflects on the fact he made great friends in life and protected a lot of people. Which is why I don't think Megumi's name is supposed to be ironic, he was named blessing because he's supposed to be where the chain of abuse that started with the Zen'in -> Toji and carried on -> Megumi finally ends by breaking that cycle.

Megumi is a child, episode 5 of Juju Stroll "had Megumi describe Panda's smell as "ohisama" (お日様) which is a super childish way of saying "sunshine". It kind of literally translates to Mr. Sun, and it's such a cutesy way of talking that the girls get flustered. It's also mentioned in one of the audio dramas where they go out to eat beefsteak that Megumi only wants to eat the sauce and Yuuji reacts by basically saying "Are you a kid??" He also dislikes red peppers."

These childish affectations are there to show us Megumi is not what he appears. That's also basically the twist with his personality too, because he has an incredibly serious personality, and is considered a jujutsu prodigy most people mistake him for being mature for his age when he's really just repressing his emotions all the time.

Fushiguro had intended to just pay and leave but with his serious personality, his idea of leaving was dismissed by Itadori’s reasoning. However, his eyes that were as deep as the night that peeped out from the bottom of a deep ditch became even more lifeless. Fushiguro tried once more to switch off his self-awareness. Numbness was the safety feature of life. If he did not think of a way to protect his spirit, it would not be strange if a curse was born.

Megumi is putting on airs of being an adult, but I'd argue he's the most childish of the main three, because at least Nobara and Yuji both had parental figures and normal childhoods until high school. Megumi was handpicked to be a sorcerer at age six and received no adult guidance outside of that, just training to be a sorcerer. Megumi is a child forced into sorcery at a young age in order to pay his bills and survive, in the manga where the central goal of one of the main characters is that children should be able to live out their youths. If Megumi dies before he's even able to grow up, that goal will be unaccomplished.

Ijichi: Then Itdori will have to go into hiding for good. Gojo: Nah, I'll have him ready in time for the goodwill event. Shoko: Why? Goo: Easy. I refuse to keep this kid from living the best years of his life. Not just him, but everyone.

Of course that argument works for Yuji and Nobara as well. They're also children who I am predicting will die tragically early, wouldn't that go against the themes of the manga too? My argument is this, we've already seen kids die young, Mai Zen'in, Kokichi Muta, Junpei Yoshino, because Jujutsu Kaisen is a tragedy. However, there will be a few characters who survive into adulthood and live to see a better world where losses like the above characters don't happen anymore. Those characters however, are characters where their character arcs revolve around them living.

Yuji's character arc is a contemplation of death and searching for a proper death (I'll talk more on the differences later) Nobara's is more tricky without talking about the quality of the writing, but let's say Nobara's death shows that even a "main character" isn't exempt for death. Which is appropriate as Nobara thinks of herself as the main character of a story. Megumi's character arc however is specifically about a cycle of abuse that started with his father, and continued to him. Unlike Nobara and Yuji who were outsiders who made the choice one way or another (traveling to Tokyo, or swallowing the finger) to enter into the world of sorcery, Megumi was born into this situation and his choice was become a sorcerer when he was a teenager or starve. Gojo had the chance to break the cycle of abuse with Megumi and he didn't, because he saw another potential strong sorcerer.

Toji: But then the unexpected happened 11 years ago, when Toji Zen'in appeared. he was physically gifted through heavenly restriction and on top of that he was an anomaly who had escaped from cursed energy. As a human being who had escaped fate through the power of restriction... he destroyed our destinies.

Jujutsu Kaisen is a story about cycles, and not only is the narrative goal set by Gojo to 'reset this crappy Jujutsu World" so that the cycle of abuse adults heap on children will be broken by the end of the story, but Toji himself is referred to as the breaker of chains and Megumi is Toji's son. Megumi, who he named blessing. The inciting incident of the story happened, because the Zen'in abused Toji to the point he became a remorseless murderer and killed Riko in front of Geto's eyes, starting the domino effect that led to today's plot. Megumi is at the center of that, he is in a way the central victim of the story in a way Yuji is not because even Yuji got the choice to eat the finger or not. Eating the finger, and being executed to destroy Sukuna are burdens Yuji willingly took on whereas Megumi was possessed forcibly by Sukuna creating the current situation. Yuji also wanted to be a sorcerer and wanted to get stronger as one when sitting in his room and waiting to have the fingers delivered to him was a possible option, whereas for Megumi the choice was to be a sorcerer or starve.

Jujutsu Society will not have changed from Toji's generation, or even Gojo's generation if Megumi the child does not survive to adulthood like his father.

Megumi is someone with very little agency or sense of control over his own life, just like a child too he is at every turn practically helpless to the forces of the adults in his life. Of course he's a character who makes choices, but he's still making those choices in the framework of a world of adults who have authority over him. Megumi doesn't get to retire at being a sorcerer or he'll starve, so the choice he makes is "I'll selectively choose who I save as a sorcerer" which is a comrpomise he makes.

He doesn't have a choice but to be a sorcerer, so he chooses to be a sorcerer for selfish reasons. He's also someone with little care for the institution of sorcery. Even his choice to be a sorcerer with the Zen'in, or to be a sorcerer with Gojo is made on the axis of "What will give Tsumiki a better life?" The same with his choice to save Yuji from execution, he doesn't care what is right or wrong by sorcerer society standards, just that he personally wishes to see Yuji saved. Afterwards when Yuji expresses remorse for Sukuna's mass murder in Shibuya, Megumi is pretty unbothered by the moral ramifications of it.

"We aren't heroes fighting for justice. No one can ever truly judge us, so we must continually prove the worth of our existence. and we don't have the luxury of thinking of ourselves. We've just got to save people. I believe that was the original principle behind your actions. So start by saving me!"

Those words aren't just foreshadowing for what Yuji's final task in the manga is (Hint hint, Yuji now needs to save Megumi from Sukuna's possession otherwise Sukuna will continue to rampage in his body).

It's also illustrative of Megumi's character, he's not someone who makes moral judgements at all, not really. He has no concept of moraity, justice, because those are adult ideas and he is a child trying to survive in the world of adults with what limited power he has. Megumi does make choices as I said he chooses to forgive Yuji for mass slaughter in Shibuya, during the Culling games he chooses to make saving Tsumiki a priority above everything else even innocent people inside the games (something only Yuta is shown actually doing) which is consistent with the choices Megumi has always made. Megumi has no choice to be a sorcerer, so he chooses to use his power selfishly to protect one or two loved ones (and his comrades sometimes) instead of using them for altruistic reasons like Yuji or utilitarian reasons like Gojo.

Megumi doesn't have morals, because he's not in a stage of development where he can actually think and develop morals. This is a thing in psychology, Jean Piaget was the first psychologist to study ways in which children processed the world different from adults. He identified stages of moral development believeing it correlated with stages of cognitive deveolpment (congition = understanding) which Kohlberg then defined into roughly six stages of development.

Stage 1. Obedience and Punishment. Child is good to avoid being punishment. Stage 2. Individualism and Exchange: At this stage, children recognize that there is no just one right view handed down by the authorities, different individuals have different viewpoints. Stage 3. Good Interpersonal Relationships The child / individual is good to be see as being a good person by others. THerefore, answers relate to the approval of others. Stage 4. Law and Order Morality. The child becomes aware of wider rules of society, so judgments concern obeying rules to uphold the law and avoid guilt. Stage 5. Social Contract and Individual Rights. The child becomes aware that laws exist for good, there are times they work against interest of individuals. Stage 6. Universal Principles. Pepople at this stage have developed their own set of moral guidelines they apply to everyone.

Megumi is trapped at Stage 3, his only concern is how his actions will affect his interprersonal relationships with others. Everything he does is in regards to maintaing those interpersonal relationships, and he casually just disregards outside morality all the time. Even Kurusu who bonded with Angel and entered the culling games because of one kind deed Megumi did for her in the past shares this same reasoning, she does good deeds because she wants to be approved of by the person she likes.

Hana: Fate is all. I believed we would someday meet again. So little by little, in hopes of being worthy to stand by your side... I help people.

Megumi's morality is-selfcentered yes, but he hasn't developed into a mature enough person to be able to think of the points of view of other people. Even when Megumi does attempt to assert some control in the world an adult appears and steals control from him, literally in fact when we learn that his attempts to save Tsumiki were pointless to begin with, because Tsumiki is possessed by Yorozu. Shortly after this revelation Megumi permanently loses control, because his bodily autonomy and basic ability to make choices is stolen from him by an adult. Megumi's life is defined by how little control he has in it, he says it in what is his first inner monologue.

Megumi: The only thing that is fair about life is how unfair it is to everyone. She was the kindest person, there was no reason to think otherwise, she was someone who deserved to be happy, but Tsumiki was cursed. My father who didn't even know my gender gave me the name Megumi. He's still alive somewhere. Karma doesn't happen on its own. Criminals are disciplined under the law. Jujutsu sorcerers are only a cog in this retribution. If only more good people could receive fairness. I'll save people whether or not it's fair!

That entire monologue but especially the first sentence is true to Megumi and his life so far, the only thing fair about life is how unfair it is to everyone. Everything is chaos, especially the world of adults, something Megumi has not been sheltered from at all. Megumi's name was blessing, but his father who was responsible for taking care of him just ran off somewhere else and left him to the wolves.

You could even draw some kind of sick parallel to the king of curses himself, who refers to himself as an unwanted child. I don't know if we're going to get a sob story for Sukuna, but if the greatest curse in history was created because he was thrown to the wolves as a child, then that says a lot about sorcerer society. Megumi is just more aware of the dog-eat-dog nature of Jujutsu Society then the rest of the characters, it's why he's constantly trying to tell Yuji that sorcerers arent' heroes. It reminds me of two quotes from Buffy the Vamprie Slayer from Faith, another homeless teen exposed to the world's violence at a really young age with no adults to sheperd her.

Joyce Summers: You don't know the first thing about Buffy... or m Faith: Don't I? I know what it's like. You think you matter. You think you're a part of something, and you get dumped. It's like the whole world is moving, but you're stuck. Like those animals in the tar pits. It's like you just keep sinking a little deeper every day, and nobody even sees! [...] Buffy: I gave you every chance. I tried so hard to help you, and you spat on me. My life was just something for you to play with. Angel - Riley- anything that you could take from me you took. I've lost battles before - but nobody else has ever made me a victim. Faith: And you can't stand that. You're all about control. You have no idea what it's like on the other side! Where nothing's in control, nothing makes sense! There is just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything. You can't even..."

Megumi's life is defined by this learned helplessness, he's not someone who at seventeen believed he had the complete freedom to do whatever he wanted like Gojo, he's trapped in the tar pits sinking a little deeper every day. There's a reason his Jujutsu Technique is shadows, which turn into muddy water when he uses his domain expansion, and why Sukuna bathed in black water to sink Megumi down to the bottom of his consciousness so he'd stop fighting back.

Megumi's someone with power, but with no real agency in how he uses it, as someone who avoids making choices, and asserting himself over ad over again. Unlike Sukuna and Gojo characters with overwhelming senses of self who seem to have complete freedom to choose, Megumi entirely lacks a sense of self, and therefore doesn't make his own choices.

Gojo: You sacrificed yourself so that Nobara could advance. Well, good for you. But people like Yuji and I... are always swinging for the fences. I'm not saying a sacrifice bunt is bad. Baseball si a team sport in which each member is expected to play their role. However, being a Jujtusu Sorcerer is an individual sport. Megumi: But isn't coordinating with other sorcerers important? Gojo: Yes, but no matter how many allies you have around you... you'll always die alone. Right now, you can only judge and match those around you instead of picturing a stronger future you. Maybe it's because of that ace in the sleeve you think in a worst case scenario if you were to at least sacrifice yourself all would end well. Keep that up and you can forget about becoming as strong as me, you won't even match up to Nanami. To die and then win, and dying victoriously are two completely different things, Megumi. Give it your all. It's okay to be selfish!

Megumi's narrative challenge goes beyond learning that it's okay to be selfish sometimes though, he's tasked with learning to cultivate a sense of self where he has none previously. You se Megumi is the most Jungian of Jung characters in the Jung manga, his power is literally the treasures he keeps hidden in his shadow. He's someone who continually fails to live up to his potential. He has no looked in his shadow at all whatsoever and therefore he's completly stunted in his development. His goal is to develop the ten shadows figuratively, but literally it's too cultivate a sense of self and reach adulthood as a fully grown individual and not the helpless child he is currently. He even is the first ten shadows user to develop a domain expansion, a domain expansion is a sorcerer using their innate domain (personal inner world) onto the outer world.

Megumi's endpoint is individuation (the process through which a person achieves a sense of individuality separate from the idenities of others and begins to consciously exist as a human in the world.)

As Jung Stated:

The aim of individuation is nothing less than to divest the self of the false wrappings of the persona, on the one hand and the suggestive power of primordial images on the other.

Jung's two theories on selfhood was divided between persona (what we are for other people) and the shadow (what we suppress about ourselves subconscious images we are controlled by). Here we have Megumi, someone who puts on the persona of being a mature, serious individual to survive in the world of adults, and also has the ten shadows which are representative of the suppressed undercurrents of violence but also his self-sabotage that Gojo identifies, suppressed emotions he is unconsciously controlled by. Both of these identities are Megumi and neither of them are.

Megumi's not a fully realized individual because he doesn't have a balanced sense of self at all, or even any sense of self because his two sides are all out of whack. In Jungian terminology the shadow is made up of primordial images shared by all of society, and what is more primordial then being literally possessed by a curse that's a character based off of a folk legend of ryomen sukuna in the real world.

Integration of the shadow is necessary for the process of individuation, Jung even names a confrontation with the shadow as a prerequisite for moral growth.

“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.”

Once again connecting back to Kohlberg's terms of moral development loosely, children see morals in terms of just outside consequences being applied to them. A child thinks "I can't steal this cookie because the adult who is the enforcer of morals told me it's wrong and will punish me." The final step of moral development is to create your own morals which apply to the world around you. Jung calls the shadow a moral problem because you have to become conscious that you yourself are capable of being wrong in order to properly render judgement on yourself. You can't judge yourself, or reflect on yourself, if you don't look at yourself properly, or ignore half of what you are because you don't want to see the bad in you.

The encoutner with theshadow and the confrontation with the beast is the first step of individuation, and what is Ryomen Sukuna if not one big shadow representing all the evils and selfishness of mankind. A cruel reflection of both Megumi, but also Gojo and Toji. Megumi, Sukuna says, this is how Gojo and Toji lived. They lived fighting from others and simply taking what they wanted, and no one could take from them.

It's extra ironic that Megumi is a blessing, and Sukuna refers to himself as an unwanted child.

Translation by @kaibutsushidousha

Sukuna is clearly a result of climbing to the top of the food chain after being thrown to the wolves, something which Megumi could become if he learned to wield his power that way and something arguably Gojo tried to push him towards (at least in the sense that Gojo wants to craft Megumi into a successor, into another Gojo). Megumi isn't nearly on Sukuna's level, but Megumi could become Sukuna, someone who only ever wields their power for themselves and only cares about being the strongest. That kind of person would never experience loss and discomfort the way Megumi did when he helplessly watched Tsumiki die. Sukuna is funcitoning as a beast for Megumi to compare himself to, even making Megumi himself feel guilty by getting Tsumiki's blood on his hands via killing her with his technique.

Kenjaku: What's the point of soaking in it? Ura Ume: To be near evil, and to submerge Megumi Fushiguro's soul.

Megumi has to confront Sukuna to learn that he is not like Sukuna. The other option is remaining helpless inside of Sukuna and just letting Sukuna completely have control. Regaining control of his body, and also discovering himself are essentially the same thing in this situation. Jung says that people who are unaware of their shadow, will be controlled by it, or at lest they won't realize that they're the ones messing up when things go wrong and will always attribute it to outside situations like fate instead of realizing they do have control and choices to make.

“The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves.” (Carl Jung)

To briefly reference another manga.

For Megumi regaining control over his body and assserting himself would also mean accepting that he's the one making choices here, he's the one to blame when things go wrong, and he's responsible. I argued over and over again that Megumi is effectively helpless yes, but that's because he's symbolically a child in order to grow into an adult he would have to learn to take responsibility for his actions like an adult would.

Such a process would also involve having to admit to some degree culpability and fault to his own actions. To become a person living in the world and therefore capable of making mistakes, rather than a dead dinosaur sinking in the tar pits.

“If you imagine someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, then you get an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow. Such a man has saddled himself with new problems and conflicts. He has become a serious problem to himself, as he is now unable to say that they do this or that, they are wrong, and they must be fought against… Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.” — Carl Jung, Psychology and Religion (1938)

Megumi is obviously not even remotely close to there, not only is he blinded by shadows, but he's been referred to as a fool before this.

Let fate toy with you, before you die like a fool a prophecy which has been hanging over Megumi's head since the Reggie fight. You could take this as foreshadowing for Megumi's death, but honestly that's only if you're interpreting it in the most literal way possible.

Number one, what is fate in Jujutsu Kaisen?

Characters talk about it, but there's no canonical concept of fate. When Megumi asks Angel what God is, Angel says that you can just refer to God as a set of beliefs they have. In a Jungian reading, Fate is just what we attribute to things we think are out of our control but really aren't. It's not fate toying with Megumi, it's outside factors, and Megumi's own perceived lack of agency in his decision making.

Number two, what is death in Jujutsu Kaisen?

Remember this is the most Jung of the Jung manga, and when I hear die like a fool I think Tarot.

The Fool's Journey is a metaphor for the journey through life. Each major arcana card stands for a stage on that journey - an experience that a person must incorporate to realize his wholeness.

In Tarot a set of 22 major arcana are used as stages in a metaphorical journey where an individual starts out as a newborn, a nobody, and becomes a fully realized individual through a series of stages and trials that prompt self reflection. Megumi would be in this manga the archetypical fool on the fool's journey, because as I said of the four main characters he's the one with the least sense of self and the most helpless. Megumi does not make choices, Megumi is pulled along by the nose.

We begin with the Fool (0), a card of beginnings. The Fool stands for each of us as we begin our journey of life. He is a fool because only a simple soul has the innocent faith to undertake such a journey with all its hazards and pain. At the start of his trip, the Fool is a newborn - fresh, open and spontaneous. The figure on Card 0 has his arms flung wide, and his head held high. He is ready to embrace whatever comes his way, but he is also oblivious to the cliff edge he is about to cross. The Fool is unaware of the hardships he will face as he ventures out to learn the lessons of the world. The Fool stands somewhat outside the rest of the major arcana. Zero is an unusual number. It rests in the exact middle of the number system - poised between the positive and negative. At birth, the Fool is set in the middle of his own individual universe. He is strangely empty (as is zero), but imbued with a desire to go forth and learn. This undertaking would seem to be folly, but is it?

The fool is in the center of his own individual universe, and is also strangely empty, a zero. A person who I'd argue like Megumi has no identity, and has to journey out into the world in order to find one. Once again, I'm arguing Yuji had a normal life for seventeenish years even if he's Kenjaku's science fair project, Nobara was raised in a small village, Megumi is the only person who was born within the small secular world of sorcerers and never experienced anything else (who is also one of the main four characters) and unlike Gojo is helpless and not the strongest dude in existence.

Death is a stage of the fool's journey, it's not the end or even a literal death but a transformation. The fool's journey argues that a symbolic death has to happen of the old self in orderto make room for a new one. Which is true for a lot of things of life, in order to grow into an adult you have to stop being a child. Entering the next stage of life requires leaving behind the last one.

DEATH: The Fool now begins to eliminate old habits and tired approaches. He cuts out nonessentials because he appreciates the basics of life. He goes through endings as he puts the outgrown aspects of his life behind him. He process may seem like dying because it is the death (13) of his familiar self to allow for the growth of a new one. At times this inexorable change seems to be crushing the Fool, but eventually he rises up to discover that death is not a permanent state. It is simply a transition to a new, more fulfilling way of life.

The next stage after death is the temperance, which has you know... an Angel, which there's totally not one of those in Jujutsu Kaisen. While I wouldn't say that JJK is a manga that strictly follows the fool's journey like say Tokyo Ghoul does where you can map out stages of the story to different major arcana, "let fate toy with you before you die like a fool" I think isn't a stretch to connect to the idea of death and what it means to the fool's journey.

Megumi arguably also has to let things die in order to progress as a person. Tsumiki is more or less dead by the beginning of the story. We never see her on her own terms just Megumi's memories and you can't be alive in a memory, there was never any chance of resucing her because we knew she was possessed by Yorozu we were just led into believing she might have been one of the people who awakened a curse technique instead. Megumi in a way as cruel as this sounds needed to let Tsumiki die, because there was nothing he could have done to help her, and he hasn't allowed himself to grieve or mourn her or move past her in any way. His entire identity is built around protecting his princess, but his princess isn't in another castle, she's dead. He needs to find a new identity, a new reason of living, and that can't be Tsumiki or even Yuji because Yuji is just a repeat of Tsumiki even in the sense that both of them are doomed by the narrative.

Megumi needs to let his sister die and mourn her, and that also requires being alive to mourn her when this is all over.

Sukuna: The destruction of Tsumiki Fushiguro will allow me to completely bury Megumi Fushiguro.

Sukuna argues that the death of Tsumiki will be the death of Megumi, but in reality that's just the death of who Megumi used to be. The person who defined himself entirely as being Tsumiki's protector and existing for the sake of her happiness is gone along with Tsumiki, but there's still a chance he could start from scratch. This is what Sukuna compeltely fails to take into account, but then again Sukuna doesn't even understand why people who are weaker than him bother struggling to live in the first place.

Sukuna: Well, allow me to ask. Why are you so weak? You're weak, yet you cling to life. Cotinuing on your path means destruction, yet you wish to be happy as long as possible. You should spend your lives stifling your misery/ Yuji: You should be the one trying to stifle this misery! Suuna: Come coloser. (Hm? Why is he so tough? No, that's not right! It's my cursed energy output that's low!) Damn you, Megumi Fushiguro.

Immediately after seeing this speech about how weak people should stop resisting him because it's futile, watching Yuji continue to resist him sparks inspiration for Megumi to fgiht back from within. All of this showing evidence that Megumi is not doomed, he himself can still move on to form a new identity after this "death" he's experienced of his old ones. In fact it's probably going to be what beats Sukuna, because this is Sukuna's blindspot he doesn't think weak people are capable of resisting him in any way.

Strong and weak are separate categories in his mind, he doesn't think people can grow. But you know, Megumi's whole narrative challenge is to grow up.

Why Megumi, why not Yuji?

Megumi and Yuji are close character foils and a lot of things I said for Megumi could be said for Yuji as well, but I am pretty firm in saying Megumi's going to live instead of either Yuji living, or them both living. As I said this is because of what I think the difference in Yuji and Megumi's arcs are, Megumi is the child that's supposed to grow up that's his backstory, that's what he is symbolically, the child neglected and failed by every adult who came into his life (Toji, Gojo) and by sorcerer society as a whole.

Megumi's goal is individuation, to grow into a fully developed individual, an adult. It would be too tragic even for this manga to have Megumi be neglected and abandoned all his life and then to die like a fool.

Well, wouldn't it be tragic for Yuji, too?

Yes, but Yuji's narrative has been setting us up for that tragedy since the first chapter.

Tragedies aren't just stories where sad things happen, it's a pretty rigidly defined narrative structure. A tragedy just like any story is about set up and pay off. You set up certain ideas early on in the narrative, you prepare your audience for an ending and you deliver on that ending, any last minute flips, twists, unless those are properly set up too are going to be seen as narratively unsatisfying.

Tragedies don't happen because rocks fall and everyone dies. Tragedies in the modern sense happen because of the choices of the characters made over the course of the story, in other words you reap what you sew.

Unlike Megumi's narrative arc which has been setting us up for him to grow up, Yuji's has been setting up the opposite since day one.

Grandpa Itadori: Yuji, you're a strong kid, so help people. It doesn't ahve to be all the time just whenever you can. You may feel lost. Don't expect gratitude. Just help them. When it's your time to go, make sure you're surrounded by others. Don't end up like me.

Yuji's narrative challenge, a literal dying curse given to him by his grandfather is for him to help people in his life so he'll die being surrounded by friends instead of dying alone. Everything Yuji does after that, and swallowing the finger in the first chapter, is contemplating the kind of death he thinks is a "Good/Natural Death" and the kind of ugly and unsatisfying deaths that curses bring on their victims.

Yuji's reason initially for agreeing to be executed is that if he eats all 20 sukuna fingers, then he'll prevent a lot of the unnatural deaths in the world that would have been caused by curses being drawn to those fingers. He draws a line against the abrupt, gruesome, early deaths caused by curses and their victims and the kind of death his grandfather had where he at least had a natural death at the end of a long life.

Death... Well, I can somehow feel death from the school. I'm afraid of dying. I wonder if grndpa was scared of death. No, probably not. I cried because I was sad, not scared. The death I face now, and Grandpa's death... how are they different? You're a strong id, so help epople. He was short-tempered and stubborn. No one went to see him besides me. Don't end up like me, huh? I guess so, but... I think you died peacefully, grandpa. (Faces a curse spirit) This is not a natural death.

No matter who they are, Yuji wants to spare them from an unnatural death, because he on top of that doesn't think he has the right to make judgement calls on who lives and who dies. Yuji is constantly contemplating his own death and what it means from the narrative.

In the Cursed Womb arc, Yuji feels like he can faith his death only for him to become so terrified in the face of fighting a special grade cursed spirit that he loses the ability to keep Sukuna under his control and can't switch back with him after letting him go. Yuji realizes his resolve isnt' as strong as he thinks it is when actually facing death for the first time, but also how to channel those negative emotions into something because he pulls off his first divergent fist in the heat of the motion.

When encountering Junpei and Mahito, not only does Yuji elucidate Junpei on why he doesn't want to make judgement calls on who lives and who dies because even if he inevitably has to be a murderer one day he feels like if he does life will lose its values, he also is confronted with Mahito the antithesis of Yuji's beliefs. Mahito's way of killing is to mutilate humans so horribly they are begging for death, the unnatural death possible. He creates victims who Yuji cannot save and cannot bring a natural death, only be mercy killed, and he creates another one of Junpei right in front of Yuji just as he was on the brink of saving Junpei from his unnatural early death and sparing him instead of hunting him down and killing him as a curse user as he is supposed to.

In The Origin of Obeidence / Death Painting Arc not only does Yuji realize the two people he's killed are living beings who cried for their family members (also his brothers what a twist), but also he is told face to face by Sukuna that his action of eating the first cursed finger which he thought would make less curses appear in the world, actually caused the curse fingers to resonate and draw stronger curses to them. The action that he thought would save more people in the long term, has in fact, killed some people in the short term because of this resonance.

In the Shibuya arc, basically everything is thrown in Yuji's face, what was foreshadowed in the previous arc that eating the fingers with Sukuna might not save a bunch of people in the long term turns out to be true. Now no matter how many people he could save by offering himself to be executed after eating all 20 fingers, Yuji still has caused the massacre of thousands in Shibuya because of eating the finger.

In the aftermath Yuji is mindlessly killing curses as a cog, until at least Megumi shows up and begs for Yuji to "start by saving me..."

Yuji's arc is a self-reflection and contemplation on death, and his goal is to die on his own terms, but also to die surrounded by people unlike his grandpa who would die alone.

Now, Yuji is currently the only character who has any interest at all in saving Megumi as a first priority (everyone else constantly just talks about the need to put Sukuna down first).

Saving Megumi at the cost of his life, fulfills Yuji's two narrative goals, helping people, and also dying surrounded by others. He also would be rejecting the cog mindset, because Jujutsu Society would say kill Megumi for the greater good above all else, it's what everyone else in this situation is prioritizing first. It's also fulfilling Megumi's request to Yuji "start by saving me..."

Yuji's death is tragic yes, but it would end in a way that's satisfying to his narrative arc. Yuji gets to determine the way he wants to die, and he dies out of choice, not as an unthinking cog, and not alone. Gojo's death is tragic, but it's also satisfying to his narrative, he wanted to live to be the strongest and using his strength selfishly even accomplishing some selfless goals and protecting others for selfish reasons and he got to go out on his own terms.

Yuji is the cage that Kenjaku built to contain Sukuna, and Yuji can probably devise some way to take Sukuna back from Megumi so he can choose once again to die on his own terms, this time at least for the sake of saving a friend who he can die beside.

Megumi's death would be tragic, and also unsatisfying to his narrative, because he wouldn't get the chance to grow up. He's not dying according to his own choice here either, if he's killed alongside Sukuna then he's being mercy killed, or sacrificed for the greater good (the greater good). Megumi didn't choose to get possessed, and if he's killed here by Yuji, or Yuta, or Maki or whoever he's not choosing to die either, or even getting to die fighting like Gojo did.

Jujutsu Kaisen is a tragedy, but it's also one where we have been telegraphed by the narrator that the society will have changed by the end of the narrative. The central goal of the narrative is to allow these ids to grow up in a better world, and become fully realized adults and in order to do that a few of the kids actually have to survive to adulthood. I argue that Megumi will be the one to survive, because he's the most childish, and with the most growing to do. It will still be tragic in a way, Megumi who only lives for others, having to learn to live for himself is about as bittersweet as you can get. However, if Megumi's narrative goal is to learn to live without Tsumiki, without Yuji, then the only way for him to do that is well... to live. Even if it's lonely, or hard, Megumi needs to live on past the end of the manga.

#jjk meta #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru #yuji itadori #jjk 237 #jjk 237 spoilers #jujutsu kaisen 237 #jujtusu kaisen 237 spoilers #jujtusu kaisen spoielrs #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #ryomen sukuna

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whumperstorm · 18 days ago

Text

Suppressing Fire Part 5

Content: Vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, loneliness, Attempted murder, death wish, broken bones, torture, despair :)

First/Previous/Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's a dark shift in Keegan's character after the night of the phone call. She goes quiet. Completely shuts down. The universe is cruel, she thinks, for letting her get so close just to yank her away from her sister once again. At least she knows Lohitha is safe, but now that she's no longer so preoccupied with worry, all she feels is miserable longing. There's a gaping hole where her heart should be and it aches. She can be selfish now and all her selfish thoughts revolve around a single phrase.

I want to go home.

Hearing her friend's voice over the phone has reopened old wounds. She misses Vivian and the other hunters desperately. She misses her quaint life. She misses the little Italian place down the street and the neighbor's scruffy cat. She misses the sun. It's been so long now that she wonders if she'd burn like a vampire the next time she steps into the light.

Keegan buries the sadness in her hatred like she always does. The only person she ever sees is the man who has caused all of her suffering. Every day he comes into the room and steals her blood, often chatting with her like nothing is wrong.

You did this to me. She thinks, her blood boiling. She wishes it would burn him when he feeds.

She imagines staking his heart every time his fangs pierce her neck. She fantasizes about the light leaving his eyes. Still, she doesn't fight back anymore. It’s not worth it. Kane seems happy with what he probably perceives as submissiveness, but the violence builds up inside her just the same. She knows she can't go back to complacency. She'll either escape soon, or die trying.

---

Six months after the reunion, Keegan finally gets her chance. She spends the evening blankly staring at the television in the living room. She ignores Kane nearby, and he ignores her. The next time she wakes back inside her prison, she notices the door has been left slightly ajar.

Kane didn't lock her away properly.

Holy shit.

What time is it? She tends to wake up a bit before him, but he could be up any minute. Has she already missed her chance?

She scrambles out of bed and carefully peeks out the door. The ornate clock down the hall confirms her fears. The sun has just set. She could still run and try to get to a hiding place before he catches her, but it's too risky. There's a lot of open space between her and the cover of the forest and vampires are fast. She would never make it.

But… there's another way. Unlike in her prison, the rest of the house is filled with wood. In other words, a weapon. She hasn't had access to a weapon since her first escape attempt years ago. And he's asleep.

That spark of realization ignites the hatred inside her like a match to kerosene. Forget running. She could kill him. That would certainly ensure her escape. She wants to kill him. For everything he’s put her through and more. Her eyes land on a small wooden chair nearby. She snatches it up and slips back into her room.

She closes the door, wraps one of the chair legs in her bed sheets to muffle any noise and then kicks with all her might. It takes a couple tries at the awkward angle, but eventually it folds with a satisfying SNAP. She's left with a rudimentary stake and she barks out a somewhat unhinged laugh.

This is really happening.

She takes a moment to center herself, she must focus. Then carefully, oh so carefully, she makes her way upstairs. Every tiny creak of the steps has her freezing in terror, waiting for any sign that Kane has woken up. She's as tense as a board, sweat dripping down her brow. As she approaches the bedroom door she doesn't dare to breathe. She turns the knob, thanking all that's holy that the door doesn't squeak.

There he is. Kane almost looks peaceful, his constant scowl softened by sleep. Keegan has a passing thought of how unfair this is, attacking him when he can't defend himself. But it's brief. As a human she's been at a disadvantage her entire life. Finally, it's his turn.

Step.

Closer and closer until she's right next to him. Her heart is pounding out of her chest. She half expects him to wake from that alone but he doesn’t stir.

It's now or never.

She leans over and positions the stake over his heart.

She raises her arm-

Kane wakes to the smell of human far closer than it should be. He gasps as his eyes fly open, witnessing a stake dive for his heart. He grabs the human's wrist tight and in a flash he flips their positions, pinning her to his bed by the wrists. It takes him a moment to process the situation, but quickly his expression of pure shock morphs into a furious glare.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he shouts down at her, though he full-well knows the answer.

Keegan struggles frantically against his grip, screaming angrily. "No, NO! LET GO OF ME!"

She was so close. She could taste freedom! She's not ready to accept defeat. She kicks at his stomach furiously. "Fuck you!! Let me go!"

"You're out of control!" Kane snaps, largely unaffected by her struggles. "That's it! I'm not tolerating your bullshit any longer!"

He grabs the human by the hair and gets up, hauling her out the bedroom, down the hall and to the stairs. Keegan shouts in pain as she’s dragged, her scalp burning from the pressure of her body weight. She claws at Kane’s hands but his grip is like steel.

Keegan doesn't have time to catch herself before Kane throws her down the stairs, uncaring for her well-being. She tumbles violently and her body is a mess of pain in seconds, bruises forming from every hard wooden step.

She lands at the bottom with a thud, her head smacking the floor hard enough to see stars. Pain radiates from her arm like someone took a hammer to it. She moans, trying to right herself.

Kane is by her side again in an instant to make sure she will never escape again. A harsh stomp of his foot on her shin sends a loud crack reverberating through the room.

"That will teach you who you're messing with," he hisses.

Keegan screams in agony as her leg snaps like a twig. She has never been in this much pain and she can't stand it. She reaches desperately for the ruined limb as if touching it will somehow fix what has been done to it. She rides out multiple blinding waves of pain before she can see Kane's figure standing over her through her tears. Her head is thick with nausea but she glares at him out of the corner of her eye and her voice trembles with hatred and pain. "F-fuck.... Y-you."

He presses his foot down harder.

"Submit!" he screams, furious she would disrespect him even now. He is stronger, better, and more worthy than her in every way. He will force her to respect him.

Keegan's scream turns to a choke and she grinds her head into the floor. "NO!" She forces out, vision wavering. God, it hurts. "I'll kill you! Son of a BITCH."

"You won't. You can’t. Do you want me to break the other leg?" Kane asks, seething.

Keegan definitely doesn't want that. She can't run with her leg like this, and wouldn’t be able to walk at all with both of them mangled.

"I'm stronger than you." Kane continues. "You have no power here. You will fucking respect me, whether you want to or not. You have no choice! That's the way humans are supposed to be!" He grinds his shoe against the break.

Keegan wails in agony and despair because he's right. She has nothing. She was so close and failed so spectacularly. She's never going to see her family again.

“Just kill me!" She cries. "Let me go or kill me! I can't live like this anymore. I won't!"

"You will! You're mine! You're my food, and there's nothing you can do about it! I can make a human submit to my will as much as any other vampire!" Kane does not let up. "Admit it! I'm stronger than you, and there is nothing you can do to stand against me!"

Keegan cries into the floor. Tortured, humiliated, completely and utterly spent. She wants to give up, shut down completely, but she can't even do that. Shocks of pain continue to fry her nerves and it's too much. Kane isn't going to stop until she submits. She bites her lip, holding out as long as she can, but finally her terror wins over when something inside her ruined leg shifts.

"O-okay! Okay stop! P-please!" She's going to pass out, blood draining from her head.

Kane removes himself from the human, taking a single step back. "I want to hear you say it."

The release of pressure on her leg brings both relief and more agony. Keegan curls up over it immediately, hands hovering over the gruesome injury, too afraid to touch. She's shaking uncontrollably from pain and fear and her stomach churns with bile. Her eyes shine with tears as she looks up at Kane. She stays quiet and tries to convince herself that it's from defiance, but she truly just can't find the willpower to speak.

"Say it!" Kane demands. He steps forward again, but doesn't touch her. "I'm stronger than you. You're powerless against me. You're mine forever. Say. It."

Maybe it's the fact that the human really did almost kill him, but his heart is racing. It's not even fear of death, not really. All he can think about is what his family would think of him if he were killed by his own human.

Keegan flinches hard when Kane moves towards her. "Y-you- you're stronger than me..." She sputters out. God, don't hurt me anymore. Please.

Her face burns with shame. "I'm p-powerless..." It's true, even with him asleep and a stake in her hand she couldn't finish the job.

"I'm..." She hangs her head. "I'm yours forever."

"That's right." Satisfied he's made his point, he reaches down and hefts the human up over his shoulder. He carries her into the human quarters and sets her on the bed. "Now. Your purpose." He shoves her head to the side, bites into her neck, and feeds.

Keegan tries not to writhe in Kane's grip and she cuts off another scream when he drops her on the bed. The bite is hardly noticeable past the all-encompassing agony of her leg, but it still feels like defeat. She cries silently as he feeds. There's no fight left in her.

Kane licks the wound closed. "I'll see you tomorrow." When he leaves, he double-checks that the door is securely locked.

It takes her an unbearably long time, but eventually, inch by inch, Keegan is able to lie back against the headboard with her ruined leg propped up by pillows. She spends the night like that, unable to move or get up to eat or drink. She eventually hobbles her way to the bathroom once, but the pain grows so terrible by the end that she spends half an hour on the tile floor, dreading the trip back to bed. She needs a cast or splint or something or she won't be able to function.

She doesn't really care, though. She can't escape, can't fight back, so why bother? She misses multiple meals before she's starving enough to drag herself to the kitchen. Somehow there's still a ghost of self preservation inside her that she can't seem to shake off.

She'll stay alive, even if it hurts. Even if it's pointless. Even if she’d rather die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @whumpsday @not-a-space-alien @anomalys-taxonomy @what-if-i-just-did @dragonqueenslayer6

@jumpywhumpywriter @writereleaserepeat

#dont look at me #technically it was still 'this week' cuz i made that post less than 7 days ago lmao #it counts!!!#my posts #my writing #last chance #keegan khatri #suppressing fire #kane & jim

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