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morsking · 4 years

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uhhhhhh to better grasp why rin is a host for both ishtar and ereshkigal and why sakura is a host for both kama and parvati you’re gonna have to read the vn since that is the only place where you will be treated to the different dimensions of both their characters and dispel any illusions and misunderstandings the ubw anime created (about rin in particular). i can explain it well but if you have the ability to, you should read the vn to really let it sink in and appreciate things more organically.

there are times in the anime where rin feels like a caricature of herself since she appears so confident and fun-loving and tsundere about it (the vn sometimes does this too but manages to balance things out a little better) that it overshadows how rin is also in her own way extremely repressed.

rin, while fashioning herself the ruler of her own world and a competent genius is still someone shackled to her duty as the last living tohsaka heir and denies herself a more profound and fundamental happiness because she reasons so long as she is the tohsaka heir, she can never be sakura’s sister, and wrongfully believes that sakura has moved on without her and belongs with the matous oblivious to what zouken has done to sakura for almost 11 years because it’s easier to think that sakura doesn’t care about her anymore than to confront all she’s taught and has lived for for so long is wrong and that she has a chance to make it right. rin however finds ways to keep running into sakura just enough that her true desires betray her efforts at keeping her distance, and if sakura just said “you are my sister, please let’s live together again” no doubt rin would be so torn to hesitate yet so hopeful to as to want it to be real.

rin’s apparent emotional independence and reputation is a product of her purposefully distancing herself from making any real human connections because she has no idea how to be emotionally available from years of stifling aristocratic conditioning. if she puts herself on a pedestal, it’s easier for others to not approach her and see through her facade. apart from that, as much fun as rin could possibly have by herself there is still something that will keep her from feeling truly fulfilled, and that’s the lack of opportunity (and emotional bravery) to reconcile with sakura. it’s also easier to forsake sakura and threaten to kill her when she’s out of control because acknowledging the horror of killing her own sister would break her own convictions and denounce her, and the tohsakas, as murderers and frauds. ishtar is that side of rin that finds being herself and living as the person in charge of her own existence. ereshkigal is the unhappy part of rin that yearns for more than what she’s been given but feels too guilty and too bound by responsibility to seek it out, and therefore denies herself her wish to connect with the person who would make all the difference in the world (sakura for rin, guda for eresh).

sakura is a naturally kind, gentle, yet strong-willed individual who has experienced that which would break and utterly annihilate most at a spiritual level. sakura only survived what she did because her mental fortitude, much like shirou’s, is so exceptional she will always retain her sense of self even if pushed to the very brink of suffering. despite that, she grew up extremely bitter, depressed, and with a disposition that utterly gave up on the world that abandoned her to the point where she wished others to fail and suffer at whatever they endeavored. if her life was pointless and fruitless as to be thrown away, why shouldn’t everyone else’s be too?

it’s really not until she met shirou that she began to change her mind and desire to have more than just numbness. a boy who just wouldn’t give up no matter how many times he couldn’t clear that jump, and accepted the outcome without regrets, second-thoughts, and self-loathing left such a deep impression on sakura that she wanted that thoughtless drive to live freely and greet tomorrow as a given to be hers as well.

little by little the broken doll with lifeless eyes restored more and more of her inner kindness and good faith, both because she gained a will that did more than just curse, and because there was someone who showed her what a real home, a real family looked like so she’d believe in love and happiness again. but much like rin, sakura struggled to believe she deserved happiness. years of abuse crushed sakura’s self-esteem, and thought her suffering made her unlovable and unnatural. her desire to be both loved and pitied clashed against one another, and were also contradictingly one and the same. it would be easy to be pitied, that means she would’ve been right about her hatefulness all along and she can just fade away along with the pain her baggage might’ve caused others. but if she’s loved, then how will she ever make herself worthy of it? how could she ever justify to herself that she’s being given love that hasn’t been earned? and even worse, what if she’s given love that can be lost?

sakura hides all the things that risk her losing all the love she’s accumulated, a desperate selfish tactic employed by a scared girl deathly afraid to lose the only light she’s ever known. if all her anger, bitterness, cowardice, jealousy, scars, and self-hatred were exposed, what would shirou think of her? once he does find out what she’s gone through, she pushes him away. she really believes she’s done for and has nothing else to come back to. even as shirou keeps asserting he does still want her in his life, she keeps hurling all the terrible things she’s done to him and herself without him knowing: that because he’s kiritsugu’s kid she spied on him for zouken, that she used him to run away from zouken and shinji, that she tried to kill herself, that she’s not a virgin, all to get him to reject her for good while guiltily clinging to the hope that he will still choose to love her in spite, or because of all that.

even after sakura’s killed shinji by accident and transforms into dark sakura, a part of herself is weak towards shirou. a part of herself lashes out when he’s around because she’s still rejecting him hoping he’ll forsake her so he’ll live without getting hurt by her while also begging for him to see how much she’s suffering so he’ll save her, going so far at the end that she tells rin to run away with shirou, having decided to kill herself alongside the grail. rin however, sees through sakura’s attempt to earn pity, but in her own fit of duty-induced forced apathy threatens to kill sakura herself before sakura has the chance to wipe herself out (jesus, rin) rather than comfort her and tell her she wishes for her to live. rin though fails to follow through with her plan. just as she overpowers sakura, she throws away all her lies and embraces her sister, telling her how she really feels, and the very first sincere expression of love her sister has shown her in a decade is enough for sakura to stop dead in her tracks and crumble in grief until shirou arrives to save her and insist that she deserves to live so that all the suffering she both caused and experienced and all the people she devoured can be given meaning. this parallels into how kama as beast iii/L wishes to render all love obsolete by drowning the universe in love to the point where all love becomes meaningless and kama no longer has to be hurt by love, with their defeat marking a change in their beliefs about the world and themself.

parvati tells you as much that she’s taken over sakura’s good side. she’s the earnest hardworking woman who is full of benevolence and enthusiasm after her purpose has become clear. however, what parvati doesn’t understand is that sakura’s good qualities are intermixed with her darker ones and fundamentally cannot ever be truly separated, and that’s why parvati also connects with sakura’s tendency to hide the ugly things about herself out of fear she’ll be rejected, and that it’s wrong and harmful for her to do that to sakura as much (if not worse) as it is for sakura to do it for herself alongside all the people that could be affected by that dishonesty.

apart from the obvious gross reasons, there is in fact a good justification for kama’s ascensions in fgo. their ascensions go from child to adolescent to adult to demonstrate that kama has a parallel to sakura’s personal growth. they are both individuals who, after being betrayed by their own kind (the gods and the tohsakas) and having their bodies destroyed (kama becoming the cosmos, sakura being devoured by crest worms and having her dna rewritten), have lost faith in who they were before and the world around them. kama starts out in sakura’s child body: the young girl who was sacrificed for a greater purpose and whose heart has been filled with depression, cynicism, and hatred for the world around her. their childish disposition however, marks that kama has truly been reborn and is going through the process of recreating their identity after it was shattered by trauma.

when kama is in sakura’s adolescent form, that signals that much like sakura around that age, they still cling to some anger and bitterness, but have begun to ease into forming new connections and their desire to be identified with love becomes complicated as it is both heavily resisted yet profoundly wanted. it is kama at their peak self-loathing, directing hatred to themself as much as their child form did to everyone else.

when kama shifts into sakura’s final adult form, it marks the period where they both have had some of their faith renewed in their existence. while it is still very difficult for them to truly know what love is and whether or not they’ve earned it, they nonetheless make it clear they want to believe in it again with the help of the person they’ve placed their trust upon (shirou for sakura, guda for kama). as the god of love, for kama to learn what love is is for kama to once more understand what it is to love themself again, and like sakura at the end of heaven’s feel finish constructing their brand new identity and move forward in a way that their happiness and reforged self-confidence can dignify their suffering and make up for all the damage they caused others and themselves.

this isn’t to say that pseudos as a concept are inherently good or anything. they are still very flawed because when mishandled for fanservice (and it happens a LOT) they do far more to displease both fans of the mythological figures and fans of the original fate/stay night characters simultaneously than to appease them both by robbing all characters involved of their complexities. regardless, that doesn’t mean that these gods wearing the faces of these girls is entirely pointless, lazy, and thoughtless. on the contrary, these girls were chosen because of all the different facets they have that match their possessors’ demeanors and themes, and i hope that this knowledge can help people see the connection with more clarity.

#anyway ooku event spoilers and vn spoilers for those who wanna go in blind #you don't have to reblog this if you don't feel like it i mostly typed this all out for myself #because i got tired of seeing either bad or somewhat disinformed pseudo servant takes #and needed to say something to keep my sanity

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teawaffles · 3 years

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The Conspiratorial Bullet: Chapter 4

Having concealed all traces of his presence, Albert was advancing through the enemy’s territory with efficient steps.

He moved through the battlefield without making so much as a sound, and had already felled three opponents; even so, he had yet to encounter any real action. Louis and the others were on the opposing team, so it was probable that their movements had been meticulously planned with strategic intent: perhaps, rather than making a clumsy full-on assault, they were quietly moving the situation along. In that case, between their opponents’ flag and total annihilation, which target should he aim for……?

From the time that had elapsed, Albert approximated the remaining strengths of both his opponents and allies. But just as he was working out a plan, he abruptly sensed a presence following him from behind.

He hid himself in a thicket, and turned around. Standing there was…….

“……Master Jack?” he smiled.

Before him was Jack Renfield.

Jack chortled. “Albert. I was observing you from behind for a bit: you didn’t leave any openings, and your movements were sharp. You’ve certainly made your teacher proud.”

As he said that, Jack toyed with the rubber knife in his hand.

“Nonetheless, I didn’t notice your presence until the last second; I still have a ways to go.”

“No, no — if I had approached you with the intent to attack, I’m sure you would’ve detected me. No need to be humble.”

He laughed heartily as he placed a hand on Albert’s shoulder.

“But I’ve gotten the feeling that there weren’t many enemies along the way, somehow. I wonder what they’re planning?”

“I’ve felt the same. They can’t have decided to throw the game either.”

“You’ve got that right. Of all people, your beloved Louis wouldn’t do that. Not to mention that team has Moran and Bond too: they aren’t the type to stand by and allow defeat——”

That instant, Jack dived to the side, breaking off the conversation. Around the same moment, Albert ducked, and a dry thud could be heard from the ground.

A look in that direction revealed a single mock bullet lying on the dirt. Albert verified that there were no others in the vicinity, and murmured.

“……A sniper shot.”

Jack nodded wordlessly. Then, the two of them fixed their gazes on a single spot in the distance. There, stood a small wooden cabin that seemed to overlook the entire forest.

“It seems to have come from that cabin.”

“That’s within enemy territory. I had a feeling someone would eventually make use of it,” Albert remarked.

Jack agreed.

A building that commanded a bird’s eye view of the battlefield was an exceptionally convenient thing to have. But although its utility was apparent, there was the downside that it was easy to deduce that one was hiding within. Its advantages and drawbacks were inextricably linked, and now, the two of them had been attacked from that cabin.

“As I recall, only a handful of people chose the sniper rifles, since they’re not easy for an amateur to use.”

“In that case, the list of potential suspects have been narrowed down.”

It wasn’t yet certain, but considering the skill of that sniper shot a moment ago, both men instinctively landed on the sniper’s true identity.

“——Is it Moran?”

“——It’s Moran.”

Magnificently, the master and student had agreed with one another. If it really was Moran, he could then target these two people with whom he was connected on a daily basis at once: this would be a golden opportunity.

As if they could see the man’s fiery gaze from the window of the cabin far off in the distance, the two men laughed in equal parts astonishment and elation.

“It’s likely that their strategy involves him shouldering their defence alone, while the rest go after our flag. That’d be why we barely encountered the enemy ever since we set foot in here.”

“I see: so they’ve made our camp the main battlefield. But in that case, we can consider their flag to be near the place he’s guarding.”

Just as Jack had predicted the location of their opponents’ flag — a possible route to victory, yet another bullet passed over their heads, whizzing through a spot precisely between the two of them. Considering Moran’s skill, it had clearly not been intended to hit.

Jack rotated his shoulders wearily.

“He hasn’t moved from his previous position. Moreover, that shot…… His aim was clear.”

“Indeed. It was a provocation — to ‘come and get me’.”

Saying that, Albert smiled, and Jack burst into laughter.

“Gahahaha! How impertinent!”

Despite being right in the middle of enemy territory, the old butler paid no heed to his surroundings as he raised his voice. Then, a ferocious glint twinkled in his eyes.

“Excellent. Let’s make him rue the day he picked a fight with us.”

“Agreed. For him, we shall be worthy opponents.”

With smiles on their faces, the two men turned to the cabin, and dashed toward their top-priority target at breakneck speed.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

As Albert and Jack had reasoned, the blue team’s camp had been transformed into an intense battlefield. The opposing team’s forces were shoving aside the vegetation as they advanced, and the blue team’s rear guard fired volley after volley of bullets, pulling out all the stops to defend their position. Even though it was just for fun, the heated atmosphere made it feel almost like a real combat zone.

“Oi oi, is help not here yet?”

“Everyone’s scattered all over the forest, so it’s hard to reach them. For now, we’ll have to get through this on our own.”

“Can’t we do anything about that? Still, it looks like the enemy forces are dwindling. Let’s hang in there and ride this out.”

Near the flag, some nobles were exchanging words of encouragement. Next to them, some children had banded together, and were firing indiscriminately with glee.

“Ahaha, this is fun!”

“Ah! I got someone!”

“We’re under attack here — someone come over~”

The children were laughing as they brandished their revolvers, and it made for an unpleasant sight. At first, the adults had taken issue with it, but then they remembered how they’d played war games themselves when they had been younger, and decided not to take it too seriously.

In the midst of all that, a distance away from the group of children, a girl was sitting quietly alone.

“…………”

This isolated figure was nothing more than a nobody who’d been excluded by her friends. But the adults who were supposed to point out this incongruity were all absorbed in the heat of the battle: unfortunately, they hadn’t even noticed her very existence.

“……It’s so boring.”

Those words fell from her lips. But disappointingly, they were swallowed up by the din of the gunfire and shouts.

Perhaps she should just go and get shot. That was what crossed her mind, but the moment she was about to get up, a small hand gripped her shoulder and stopped her.

Startled, the girl looked behind her, and saw a familiar face.

“What’re you doing? Even if it’s just one more person, our team needs more firepower — surely you weren’t thinking of dropping out on your own, right?”

After delivering that stinging rebuke, Helena Curtis sat down beside the girl, and began loading her gun.

Even now, as she looked at Helena’s angry profile, the girl’s face was screwed up as if she was about to cry.

“……Why? Even though I betrayed you?”

But Helena responded in astonishment.

“What’re you saying? I’m only doing this because I want to win. Don’t take this in a weird way.” Her mouth twisted into a frown, as if she were deeply unhappy.

At Helena’s words, the girl retracted her gratitude, and leaned back a little.

“Y-Yeah. Sorry……. That’s right. It’s for the game.”

Disappointed, she lowered her gaze. But once she’d finished reloading her gun, Helena’s expression morphed into one of sullen dissatisfaction as she continued.

“……That’s why, I’ll forget about how you left me out before.”

“!”

Those words were somewhat twisted, but even so, they carried a clear depth of emotion. Helena’s cheeks had turned red; as the girl registered that, her eyes vaguely misted up.

But it wasn’t like she was crying and begging for forgiveness here. The girl pursed her lips, and abruptly cast her gaze forward.

“……I see. Then, let’s forget about those unnecessary ties and join forces.”

“Yeah — we’ll definitely win. And if we lose, I’ll treat you to something.”

Helena and her former friend. The two of them stood side by side on the same battlefront, laughing as they once did.

——I’m glad I had the courage.

In her heart, that was what Helena thought.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #yuumori #english translation #the girl who sees rainbows

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thatslikely · 4 years

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Monster - R.L.

Monster- (Young) Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader (unspecified house)

Warnings: descriptions of blood and violence

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: I don’t normally write for the Marauders, but this was a special request for my best friend Ocean, who has stood by my side for as long as I can remember. I love you Ocean <3

Just a reminder: Y/N is Your Name, and thoughts/flashbacks are in italics.

Taglist: @amourtentiaa @probably-peeves @anchoeritic @theweasleytwinsgirl

if you want to be added to my general or character-specific taglist, send me a dm or an ask!

----

Remus Lupin was a monster; a hideous beast deserving of nothing but a depressing life. A creature doomed to an eternity of rightfully earned misery and isolation. He was nothing more than a savage, barbaric werewolf.

Y/N, Y/L/N was a gorgeous and effervescent girl, who seemingly had the whole world rooting for her. She was exceptionally astute, a skilled and hallowed prefect, and unimaginably beautiful in every sense of the word. Someone who deserved nothing but the best.

While Remus would never believe it, he was the exact antithesis of a monster. To his friends, and to his great surprise, you, he was an altruistic, solicitous, and perceptive boy. A boy who you loved with every fiber of your being. A boy who needed to learn to love himself.

No matter what actions you took or words you sang, Remus sat in denial of your true feelings for him.

“But… why would you love someone like me? You already figured out that I’m a werewolf. I’m a monster, Y/N. You deserve so more than I could ever give to you,” Remus stated somberly. His eyes glistened with tears and were distinctly tinged with self-loathing. His normally soft, caramel locks were disheveled, and his worn Gryffindor uniform was wrinkled.

“Moony,” you started, Remus flinching at the nickname spilling from your lips, “I don’t care that you’re a werewolf. You’re breathtaking to me all the time, full moon or not. You have to understand, you’re not a monster! You’re someone I love. Someone I can’t live without.”

With the last sentence escaping your mouth with a plea, the tears that had been brewing in Remus’ eyes finally dripped down his face freely. He looked so broken, all the concrete walls that he had built up for so long crumbling under your acceptance and love. He was completely and utterly vulnerable.

He couldn’t be bothered to smudge away the translucent tears staining his cheeks, instead his arms instinctively reached to you like an infant, for a tight hug. He clung to your body like a lifeline; your soft and delicate skin drenched with a well-kept cardigan pressed into his aching chest. You felt so comforting in his arms, he could’ve held you forever.

“Y/N… I love you.”

The Great Hall was packed to the rafters with students adorned in varicolored robes, laughs and conversations dancing in one ear and out the other. The ancient, wooden tables were enveloped with pearly plates of every size, each supporting sky-scraping mounds of delicious house elf-made food. You promptly took the vacant seat next to Remus, reserved courtesy of himself, excited to see him after an endless day of droning professors.

James and Sirius were already plotting some sort of devious scheme, probably directed at their fierce rival, a raven-haired fellow fifth year named Severus Snape. You and Remus never became involved with the dastardly pranks, however, instead opting for unbiased pacifism. While a beady-eyed Peter was eagerly lapping up James’ and Sirius’ plans like ice-cold water in a desert, your stunning eyes lovingly locked with Remus’ handsome, mahogany ones.

You were quick to notice that Remus’ loaded plate of food remained untouched all dinner, contrasting the hefty meal residing in your own stomach. The full moon was approaching quickly, and there was no doubt he was worried out of his wits. You subtly motioned for him to pick at his plate, to no avail.

If only he would allow you to comfort him about his monthly transformations. He had always been quick to shut down discussion of anything related to the lupine side of him, no matter how much you begged on your hands and knees for him to open up.

“Remus, you really should eat. It’ll make you feel better, I promise,” you said with a concerned smile. The already troubled expression he wore fell even lower.

“I’m not hungry,” he said softly with strict finality. His face was painted with worry and guilt, a familiar but unpleasant sight. Once he noticed your gaze remained locked on him, he hastily covered up his unhappy expression with a small pseudo-smile.

“Can you at least have a bite of chocolate?” you asked, grabbing a small chuck of delicious candy from a wrapper in your robe pocket. You extended your sugar-filled hand to him expectantly, and he obliged, grabbing the cracked square with annoyance. Once he started chewing on the sweet chocolate, however, his nerves relaxed and his demeanor softened.

“Where’d you get this stuff, darling? Tastes quite good,” he asked, his words barely distinguishable thanks to the silky chocolate that filled his scarred cheeks. The nervous look that previously resided on his face was completely erased, a goofy grin triumphantly taking over.

“I’ll tell you, only if you swear to eat at least a little bit of your dinner,” you said motherly, gesturing your hands towards his plate of cold food. He emitted a sarcastic grumble before spooning some cold mashed potatoes into his mouth. He tried, and failed, to hide his gagging at the taste of the cold mush on his tongue, but he persevered, swallowing a few bites.

“I believe I owe you some chocolate,” you said satisfied, this time removing the whole bar from your inky black cloak pocket. You ensured the bar was wrapped nicely before gingerly giving it to a giddy Remus.

“Now, where can I get myself some of this? They don’t sell it at Honeydukes, do they?” he questioned, before breaking off a bit of the milky chocolate, promptly popping it into his mouth. He kindly shared some extra squares with the other three Marauders, ‘thanks’ repeatedly passed his way.

“It’s homemade, straight from Mum’s kitchen. I get sent some just about every Sunday, so it looks like I’m your only source. Bummer.”

“Oh well. I suppose it’s worth it.” Remus rolled his eyes jokingly, sending a thankful squeeze to your interlocked fingers.

The rest of dinner flowed along effortlessly.

----

Your droopy eyes languidly peeled open, revealing the lazy golden rays of light dancing across the stone walls of your cluttered dorm. The repulsive taste of mucus lingered at the back of your throat, an unwelcome side effect of your restless sleep.

Tonight was the night of the dreaded full moon.

Violent images of a bloody and wounded Remus flashed through your brain, causing a pained whimper to escape your throat. It always shattered your heart to see Remus returning back from a transformation, beaten, limping and broken.

He made every effort to conceal himself returning in that state, cautiously darting to the Hospital wing, not wanting you to see, and subsequently pity him. But unknown to him, the tucked-away broom closet parallel to Madam Pomfrey’s provided a miniscule glance of his disheveled self every dangerously moonlit night.

You sluggishly got up from your bed, a bone-creaking stretch of your arms coupling with a sloth-like yawn following suit. You trudged through quicksand to the bathroom, quickly brushing your teeth to rid your mouth of the unpleasant morning taste that coated your tastebuds.

Not long after, you threw on a comfortable outfit, one of Remus’ worn and oversized t-shirts and some sweatpants. If wearing his clothes could bring him a little joy today, it was worth it.

“I like your shirt today. Looks quite dashing,” you said in a joking tone to the boy sprawled on the crimson-dressed bed below you. Remus was donning a holey, earth-toned t-shirt, topped with a matching unbuttoned, cocoa-colored flannel which complimented his messy mop of hair.

He sat up with an innocent smirk, saying, “It’d look pretty ‘dashing’ on you, too.” Remus’ cheeks gained heat at his bold comment, his mind imagining you wrapped in his clothes. Your goofy smile added to his favorite shirt would be near perfect.

“Wanna test your theory?” you casually asked, tiny droplets of adrenaline coursing through your veins. You were always a bit flustered around Remus, but the prospect of his shirt was too alluring to pass up.

His face morphed into a slightly mischievous grin, and his hands quickly tore off the flannel overshirt that complimented the coveted top underneath. “Turn around for a second.”

You cocked your eyebrow in surprise before complying, pivoting your body away from the changing Remus. You envisioned his bare torso, dotted with sore scars. The exciting ruffling of clothes played behind you in a whisper.

Your eyes begged to sneak a peek, but they listened to Remus’ request, remaining clamped shut until he signaled, “Okay, you can look now.”

The prized brown shirt laid scrunched-up in his lap, his hands busily buttoning the few top buttons of his flannel, which was now stretched across his whole chest. After the flannel was fitted to his satisfaction, he tossed you the shirt with an amused smile.

You promptly slipped it over your head, the familiar and angelic smell of Remus brushing your nostrils. The shirt fit like a potato sack on your body, but to him, you looked ethereal.

Remus wasn’t seen all day, for he was locked up in his dorm, rotting away with anxiety. James, Sirius, and Peter all attempted to get him out of the cage he laid trapped in, but nothing, even the most enticing offers, would make him budge.

He finally emerged from his cave to the common room late into the afternoon, wearing puffy, red eyes with heavy purple bags underneath. You immediately ran to him, arms wrapping tightly around his stiff chest. He released a sigh before reciprocating the hug, a tiny, tired smile, resting on his face.

“Good afternoon to you, too,” he breathily muttered in your ear. Your whole body sprang up with goosebumps at the feeling of his warm breath hitting your skin.

“I’ve been worried sick about you.” Your soft, relieved voice rang through his ears, guilt panging his heart.

“Don’t ever worry about me, honey. I’ll always be okay, and here for you.”

After stepping back from the solacing embrace, the other Marauders were quick to check on him. You stood away from their tight circle by the fire, simply admiring the laugh escaping Remus’ lips at one of James’ jokes.

He’ll be okay, you comfortably told yourself, He’ll always be okay.

However, you failed to consider your own safety.

----

The pale strips of moonlight that shone through the window illuminated your glassy, saucer eyes, accompanied by your heart rapidly banging in your chest like a fast-tempoed timpani. Your arms vibrated with fear, and your ears remained steadily perked, listening for any stray howls reverberating from the Shrieking Shack.

You had tried your best to think positively: at least after tonight, he won’t worry for a while, but the images of a currently suffering Remus swam in your head, swiftly extinguishing your optimism.

Lupine-esque whimpers echoed through your brain, accompanying the ghastly memories of a bloodied Remus, causing your stomach to churn like the sea in a thunderstorm. You were plagued with such intense worry and guilt that you refused to remain idle in your dorm any longer.

If he remained abandoned by you every full moon, the scars that accented his skin would come back even more profound than last month. His chest would be drenched in his own blood, a familiar but nauseating sight. His leg would wobble to class every day just as badly, his knee sore and rigid. You couldn’t just sit and watch him break and heal again every month. Remus needed help.

You stuffed your feather-filled pillows under the duvet of your four-poster in the rough shape of a human body, hopefully convincing as your own. Then, you proceeded to noiselessly creep through your tranquil dorm, the minute tapping of your slippers on the hardwood blending seamlessly with the regular humming of the ancient castle.

After safely out of the dorms and lifeless common room, you dashed to the Gryffindor tower, careful to avoid the observant eyes of patrolling professors. You softly muttered the password to the half-asleep Fat Lady, who you were well acquainted with thanks to the Marauder’s frequent antics.

You tip-toed up the cold, stone steps to the boy dormitories, promptly arriving at the fifth year dorms. You gave the sturdy, wooden door a light rap, crossing your fingers that the notorious night-owls would open up.

Your desperate wish was soon granted, a worried James peeling open the door, revealing the rest of the Marauders sitting in a circle on the rug behind him. “What’s up?” He whispered, a glint of mischief still present in his eyes, “you worried about Moony, too?”

“N- well yes, but I’m not here for a group therapy session. I need your cloak. The invisible one,” you quietly stated, confident and determined.

“What could you possibly be up to? Something tells me it’s not just a trip to the kitchens.” James looked considerably more suspicious, his knuckles’ grip tightening on the door. Sirius got up from his spot on the floor, approaching the door frame.

“Er- just give me the cloak, please? I can’t sit around knowing he’s suffering alone out there. Not anymore.” Your eyes threatened to fill with tears, but you successfully fought to keep them under control.

“Y/N, is this really the best idea? I know you two are ‘in love or whatever’ but is it worth dying for? You and I both know the danger of his condition.” You winced at James’ words before stubbornly nodding, determined to leave with the cloak.

“At least let us go with you. I don’t think Moony would want his girlfriend dying, especially if it was his fault.” Sirius snatched his wand and coat from the nightstand, ready to accompany you to the lupine love of your life.

“I’m sure that there’s no way in hell I could stop you guys, but, please, don’t worry about me. I’m a perfectly capable witch, believe it or not.”

James uneasily handed you the cloak while Sirius gave you a comforting pat on the back. You turned away from the dorm, your mind set on the Shrieking Shack.

----

The fierce wind howled through the towering, spiky trees, not soothing your jittery nerves in the slightest. The previously clear, starry sky was now blanketed with inky storm clouds. The ground occasionally rattled with booming thunder, making your tingly legs shake even more.

Your wand was out and eager to spew spells at any unusual sights or sounds, despite knowing that the only real threat, Remus, resided exclusively in the shack. You gradually inched closer to the Whomping Willow, not exhibiting any Gryffindor-ish traits as you did so.

When you were finally within range of it’s murderous branches, you skillfully levitated a rock to perfectly rest on the trunk’s secret pressure-point, paralyzing its wooden limbs without a sweat. You ducked under it’s ancient roots, running towards the demonic barks that echoed in the distance.

You tore the transparent hood off of your shoulders, dropping it on the porch of the dilapidated house. Your vision blurred with fearful tears, but regardless, you pushed the peeling door of the shack open, scared to see what lay inside.

Musty, forgone furniture was haphazardly thrown around what was presumably the den; deep and fresh claw marks mangled the grimy plush of chairs. Moldy tabletops were smashed in, opaque glass windows were shattered into millions of pieces, and there were unsettlingly large paw prints dotting the rotting floor.

“Remus?” you squeaked, your throat tense and withdrawn. Low, animalistic growls could be heard from the second floor, and with a gulp, you slowly ascended the creaky stairs which groaned under your every movement.

“Remus…?” you repeated at the top of the desolate stairs, this time barely audible. “Moony?”

The level was eerily quiet, making you regret your decisions a hundred times over. You scampered forward, the small beam of white light emitted from the tip of your wand growing shaky with fear. He’s up here, somewhere. Thoughts of a suffering Remus drove you to peer through every room, fearfully expecting to find a helpless, balled up werewolf sitting in the corner.

Each battered bedroom lay devoid of life, disregarding the infestation of cockroaches that resided in the decaying walls. Your legs felt numb and uncontrollable as you stepped to the final bedroom at the end of the hallway. Remus must be in here.

You rolled your wrist around, making sure it was pliant in preparation for the spells that would likely need casting. You pushed the unhinged door to the side, ready to face your lupine boyfriend.

Barbaric, unintelligible noises tickled your ears at a low frequency. You walked silently into the room, the quivering grip on your wand increasing. You stepped further and further into the room, towards the bed that lay broken in the center.

A thunderous snarl from the closet jolted you around, invisible tears pouring down your face. “Remus? Remus, come out, it’s m-me.”

Bloodied claws, sharp as daggers, dug into the aged wood, slowly approaching you like a predator sneaking up on its prey. “Remus, its Y/N. Don’t worry. It’s okay, I’m here.”

Inhuman, savage eyes pierced into your own soaked ones. Not an ounce of your boyfriend was left in the shadowy wolf; the way he slinked towards you viciously, the way bubbly drool fell from his twisted snout, the open wounds that characterized his back.

His demeanor showed no signs of recognition, only ferine instincts ruled his primitive mind. “Remus… it's me…” Your voice cracked with heartbreak, a sob escaping afterwards. Silence, save for the deep, drawn out growls from the werewolf.

“REMUS! REMUS, TELL ME YOU REMEMBER ME? PLEASE, REMUS, PLEASE,” you wailed. Maybe you were yelling to get through to him, or maybe just to hear your own voice over your booming heart that drowned out your thoughts.

Remus left you no time to think, let alone act, as your whittled wand thudded to the floor, and the vicious werewolf’s jaw sunk into your delicate collarbone. Sanguine blood splattered extravagantly across the decrepit room, its hauntingly intricate patterns tainting the rickety bed behind you, turning its dusty white sheets a sickly crimson.

A hoarse shriek rattled through your teeth as the feral canines dug deeper into your shredded flesh. Your vision went blurry, not from the tortured tears spilling from your eyes, but from mind-numbing exhaustion. The last thing you saw before collapsing onto the floor with a groan, your mouth contorted open in pain, was a quick flash of black and brown.

----

“Y/N… I’m so sorry.” Your chest vibrated from the lugubrious sobs escaping Remus’ nauseated throat. His lips and chin was crusted with a rusty red waterfall sourced from his now human teeth, his tousled, sweat-drenched hair rested on your heart. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

“I’m a monster.”

Your dried, bloodshot eyes peeled open, taking in the confusing sight that surrounded you. You were crumpled on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, held by a sobbing, gory Remus. A melancholy James, Sirius, and Peter stood further back, taking in the depressing sight before them.

Languid morning rays shone through the opaque glass of the window, the beams perfectly highlighting the slick trails of blood that dried all over your body. Your shirt was torn to shreds, the collar being the most mangled. Your shoulder stung with the pain of a thousand Crucio-curses.

“Remus… what happened?” you croaked, your throat unwilling to cooperate, its texture like sandpaper. His drenched, brown eyes looked up to you in shock, tears falling down his scarred checks even faster. Last night was nothing but a hazy black blur which made your head pound even thinking about it.

“What happened to me, Remus?”

“I turned you. You’re a monster like me now.”

“I-I don’t think I understand…”

“You came to the Shrieking Shack last night to comfort Remus, and well, he bit you. You’re a werewolf now,” Sirius solemnly said, his gaze pointed to his black Doc Martens. Remus soon ran out of tears to cry, his eyes instead spacing out, his mind drowning out your words and touches.

“I turned you into a werewolf. I’ve sentenced you to the same hell that I live. I’m so sorry, there’s nothing we can do. I’m a monster!” Remus shouted, his shaky voice the most depressing thing that’s ever graced your ears. You sat on the floor, wrapped in Remus’ sorrowful embrace, shocked silence filling the mournful room. Tears subconsciously coated your burning cheeks and chin, fusing with the rust-colored, crusted blood, creating a sickly pink waterfall down your face.

“Remus, it’s okay-”

“No, it's not. Not this time, Y/N. It's all my fault,” he cried, “I swore that I would protect you, protect you from that monstrous side of me, and now look. We’re one and the same. Except that I’m a truly vile being deep down. I should be gone.”

“Being a werewolf isn’t some cool superpower or something; it's a disease! It's a ravaging, dangerous, violent disease; it taints everything, it’s inescapable. A disease that the person that matters the most to me now has, and it’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have come to this school in the first place. I don’t deserve any of this. I deserve to die.”

“Remus John Lupin, don’t you dare say that you deserve anything even remotely close to death! I know being a werewolf is going to be difficult, painful, everything, but at least I have someone to help me! At least I have someone who isn’t just going to leave me on the streets and have me fend for myself. I trust you more than anyone, I know it’s going to be okay, okay? You’re far from a monster, Moony. You’re someone I love,” you choked out, your voice fading with pain.

Remus’ eyes found crystalline tears once again, and you held his bloodied head to your chest, allowing his ears to hear your slow heartbeat, cooing, “It’s okay, it’s okay, I love you. It’s going to be okay, I promise. I’ll survive, we’ll survive, together.”

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damselofblueroses · 3 years

Text

The Children of Paradise

Summary: Set three years after the Rumbling, a young captain of Paradise Island, Anna Doukaina suddenly learned that her husband alive during the Paradisian Revolution.

Chapter Summary: After one month that Anna spent in the Doukaina's (Levi's Tea Shop) she was more than ready to explode. One day she decided to visit the Library and she had to face a couple of realities which she had no idea. This chapter contains a temporary health issue, if you can be negatively triggered by fainting, becoming numb or the loss of conscious please do not continue :)

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS AND ESPECIALLY CHAPTER 139, Descriptions of Depression and Grief, Mentions of Death, Emotional Hurt. Progress of the fiction contains nsfw / Smut, minors please do not.

Note: The idea of Paradisian Revolution and the transformation of Historia Reiss are the offspring of my imagination, I would like to think about how would Levi’s aftermath of the Rumbling be in my head after I read chapter 139 :)

Word Count: 6.5k

Chapter Two: the Ouroboros

“Mrs. Ackerman?” I heard the voice of little kid, Sofia and turned to the source of voice. She was jumping to me by holding a bunch of daisies and dandelions. “Paul told me to give you these flowers.”

I kneeled down to blond girl who was always so lovely, her brown eyes were shining, and her checks were flushing with pink. I patted her head then gave her a piece of chocolate.

“Thank you very much, Sofia. When you and Paul visit me again?”

“We will come in the afternoon, Mrs. Ackerman.” she danced around me. “Gabi and Falco said that they will take us from school today and we can assist them in order to run the café.”

“You are a good girl, you know that.” I smiled. She could be my child. “But do you remember what I asked? Do not call me Mrs. Ackerman, I prefer to be called as Anna but if you want to call me with a surname, call me as Doukaina.”

“I cannot do that!” her eyes instantly became wider, stopped leaping around me like a cannibal. “We are told that we always have to call you by Mr. Ackerman’s name.”

“Who told you this?” I could feel my hands automatically turned into fists.

“Mr. Ackerman.” she was too naïve. “He is very serious, and also Paul strongly advises me to not cause Mr. Ackerman’s anger.”

“Yeah.” I murmured to little girl. “He is a short-tempered man. Anyway, Sofia, call me Anna whenever you will feel more relaxed, okey?”

Her face was telling me that she never would dare to go against Mr. Ackerman’s orders, but I did not say anything on the issue. Instead, I talked with her nonchalantly, made her more excited for the afternoon we were going to share then accompanied her till her house where was two apartments away from Doukaina’s.

Yes.

That bastard dared to name his fucking café after my name.

After leaving Sofia to her house, I came back to the café and tethering my teeth to the name. I was storming to the upstairs.

In the last one month, which I spent by refusing to talk with that motherfucker instead of expressing my thoughts on divorce and grunting a lot, I had a first-handed report on how much that bastard continued on his life without me.

I was in everywhere and nowhere.

The café had been under the Rules of Doukaina that Onyankopon had a civilized conversation with me after that bastard literally seized me in his home. He explained the rules while he was hoping that it would be a catalyser for me to calm down, nope, but I just listened to him without showing an expression. Basically, the rules included what I would like or not, and Captain Ackerman decided to run his own business by accepting my tastes as the standards.

His strategy works very well, Onyankopon shamelessly says.

What the heck I was, his strategy? His experimental rat?

I was fuming after that conversation, but I could manage to hold my anger and pain inside of me. Instead, I remained silent, ignored him when he came back to home, I refused to have dinner with him, I rejected every kind of proposes from him.

After Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco came to me.

Their visits were always hard because of two reasons.

Falco was a sweetheart; I could not refuse his kindness and Gabi had no idea on giving up even if when the occasion called for it. And trust me, my mental and emotional situations definitely called for silence, but Gabi did not get any signals. She told me a lot of stories on a vast range, starting from how horrible Mr. Ackerman was to how much he had been getting through.

Their visits always rip a brick off my invisible wall against him.

When I stayed by myself, and I generally chose to be alone, I realized the real reason of my presence here. It was the most painful part, I could not leave but it was not because of Levi had captured me against my will, I could not find the power of leaving him even though I have already refused even wishing a good day to him.

I cannot leave him, if I will set my foot on my way back to Paradise, I know that I cannot survive this time.

Everything I said, everything I had been doing did not mean a single thing. I was aware of my love to him, although I was broken into pieces because of him.

In this one month, every day I could see his face. Grumpy, unhappy, full of scars, deeply wounded, not like Captain Levi Ackerman who I knew in the past.

But, to my dismay I always loved Levi Ackerman, not the humanity’s strongest, not that legendary and reluctant hero.

I loved that fucking surly, petulant, grouchy, peeved, easily pissed off, clean freak, bossy, dominant and bad-mouthed Levi Ackerman who was always on my side. I loved that shorty who was reliable, extremely strong, capable of many things, careful, kind when the occasion calls for it and very clever.

He was my partner on the battlefield, my friend in the Headquarters, my lover in our tiny place.

Bearing witness of our separated 3 years did not help me to keep my anger against him, however, I had been trained by someone who was famous to hold grudges and has a small piece of forgiveness in the heart.

I was not only Levi’s but also Levi’s sculpture. He craved me with his heart and mind during the years of my training and beyond. Even our marriage bed was a training field.

Oh Jesus, when I remembered that night, a sudden flush attacked to my face, I could feel the heat on my cheeks.

I vividly remember Levi’s voice when he was praising me for being the best one for him although I was inexperienced till that night.

Can you stop remembering unnecessary memories?!

No.

I grunted to my useless brain and moved out of my tiny room. Levi gave me a room in his place when I refused to be in the same area with him. What a gentleman!

He knows you cannot afford a house, and he would kill someone instead of letting go to a hotel. He wants to keep you in front of his eyes, you were absent for a long time, Onyankopon said to me. He always believes he never see you again but all of a sudden you appeared.

If he wanted to keep me with him, why he did not come to fetch me after war, I asked to Onyankopon. He half smiled to me and told me this is a question to be asked to Levi himself. Only he could give me an answer, Onyankopon did not want to interfere our personal lives at this level.

Well, I guessed he interfered a lot but still I did not force him to tell me.

Levi’s flat was the second floor of his café, so I came down of the stairs in order to get fresh air. Levi was working behind Doukaina’s counter, he was dealing with bunch of customers whose I was getting familiar with some of them. When they saw me, they greeted me with their heads, I reciprocated by denying Levi’s strong presence. His eyes were piercing my back, I could feel it, but I refused to take a look back, I grab my coat and bag, then I stepped out of Doukaina’s.

He named his fucking café after me, how should I feel about this? Proud? No fucking way, every time I looked at this name, I lost my nuts.

He managed to be happy without me but living with my shadow. How could I forgive this?

I took a deep breath and started to walk on the street. My foot knew the way, the direction. I was heading to the library. To be honest, I was really so bored because of sitting on my back, it was not something I was familiar with. I had to keep myself busy, and I had to figure a way out in order to be back to Paradise.

With or without Levi.

After one month, observing him without talking, taught me that I could not be that cold-hearted bitch even if I desperately wanted to be. I could not tear him off his life, there was no possible option to try. He built a life for himself, Gabi and Falco, and Onyankopon.

How could I be so heartless taking them into our hell again?

They sacrificed a lot.

Sometimes I looked at Levi and I saw a middle-aged man who spent his life on battlefields, who lost everyone dear to him. His scars telling me how bad he hurt, sometimes he had been making a low-pitched grunt because of pain caused by his leg. He kept working on, but I could easily tell how much physical pain he was in. Falco secretly told me he was seeing a doctor, however there was no treatment to cure his wounded muscles.

And his eye.

I could not forget about his gleamy, metallic grey eyes and piercing look he could give with them. Now, he lost one of them, all the scars on his face, I bet my life on he felt like he was a beast.

Well, he was always a beast but a handsome beast.

Now, I could bet even my life on he felt like cannot be loved because he was no longer the humanity’s strongest, he was no longer Captain Levi Ackerman.

He was only Levi from Doukaina’s, the owner of a little tea shop, a semi-quasi father for a Marleyan kiddo gang.

How can you explain that to Armin? He believes you are trying to persuade Levi to comeback.

I have zero fucks to give the Revolution.

I was in a really darker mood when I reached to the library. The familiar scent of books got my senses immediately and eased my temper.

“Hello, Ms.” I heard the lady at the desk. “How can I help you?”

“Hello. I want to renew my membership to library.” I took my old card out of my purse. “Actually, I was a member, but it has been too long, so I do not know if I have to get a new card.”

“Let me see.” she reached to my membership card, and she gasped. “Miss Doukaina? Is that you?”

“Um, yeah?” I was confused because of her reaction. “Is that something wrong?”

“No!” she yelled and realized where we were and pressed her hand into her mouth. “I am sorry, but we have heard a lot about you. The headmaster will be extremely happy to see you again!”

“Is Angelo still here?” I proclaimed. “Really?”

“Yes, he did not retire yet.” she beamed. “Let me call him, or do you prefer to visit him by yourself?”

“I can go to his office.” I grinned like a Cheshire cat for this unexpected piece of news. “If you allow me, of course.”

“Be my guest.” she looked like I was a very good present and she definitely looked like she wanted to tell me something. I raised one of my eyebrows to push her, she could not hold it back anymore. “Forgive my boldness but I really admire your works!”

“Thank you.” I was surprised but I had to admit that I liked her boldness. I always liked to hear someone liked the works of my brain, it really meant a lot after killing titans and people like an endless string. I did not wish to be praised because of being a good fighter but hearing a praise because of being a good student or librarian was something else. “I am glad to hear that, I did not know they still have my work.”

“Your books are highly demanded both from colleges and individuals.” she smiled like a freak. I easily recognized the pattern of being a fan of someone, her face reminded me my face when I was trained by Levi. I know these shiny eyes, this excitement, this admiration. “I never think I could see you in person.”

“Maria,” another teenager appeared from the door behind of desk. “Headmaster calls for yo- Oh. I am sorry I did not see you Ms.”

“Fred,” she exhaled. “Do you know who is she? She is Miss Anna Doukaina!”

“What?” the young boy’s face went into blank he was literally frozen. “Who?”

“Anna Doukaina!” Maria repeated. “She came back!”

“A-An-,” Fred shuttered. “You must be kidding me; everyone knows she lives in Paradise!”

“Well, you are right.” I interrupted. “I am currently visiting Marley since there is no restriction on visiting people.”

“Yeah. You. Anna. Wow. Doukaina. You are right.” Fred’s eyes became widest, for a second, I thought he could manage to gauge them out only by looking at me. “Wow. Anna Doukaina is here.”

“What Fred means,” Maria stood up by giving her colleague criticizing look. “We do not expect to see you in Marley again after the speculations.”

“Speculations?” I cocked my eyebrow again. “What kind of speculations if I may ask?”

“Well, your husband lives in Marley without you, right? Both of you are famous names, he was a hero amongst people, you were named as a genius and people talks.” She at least managed to seem as embarrassed, but I could see the curiosity burned in her eyes. “You got your degree from Academia while your husband opened a café in the capital, but no one saw you guys together. Everyone believed that you guys divorced, after you went back to Paradise, most of us thought that you would not be back.”

“Holy shit.” I could not hold it. “I did not know we were a material for gossip.”

“You were topic number 1, actually.” Fred spilled the beans. “Especially when you refused to see Mr. Ackerman, a lot of husbands were condemning you.”

“What?”

“When you refused to see Mr. Ackerman,” Fred repeated himself like he was talking something quite natural. “A lo-

“Could you give me a moment, please?” I raised my hand.

“Are you okey?” Maria reached to me with a genuine worry.

“I am fine, thank you.” I replied but I could feel the panic attacks on the way, my breathing was becoming heavier, and my heart was pounding too fast. Bad combination.

“Fetch me a glass of water.” I heard another voice while the room is really starting to spin around me. “Quickly!”

A voice that was familiar to give orders.

A voice that was extremely grumpy but always managed to give me thrills.

The room was becoming darker, I knew that I was losing my sight and conscious for the first time in the last 5 years. Strong, muscled arms held me between their protection, before I fainted, I knew who was holding me.

Levi.

Levi Ackerman, an hour ago

“Oi, brat!” I looked at Falco, he was breathing too fast, and his face was totally red when he made an entrance to Doukaina’s. And his shoes are dirty, fucking hell. “What happened?”

“Mrs. Ackerman!” he yelled. “She is going to the library!”

“Shit.” I hissed between my teeth. Fucking woman. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Gabi saw her on the road. Does she know these people’s thoughts on her?”

“Of course not.” I untied my apron and throw it to Falco. “You are on charge, handle the rest.”

I did not waste a second, rushed to the road. I was definitely fuming, she did not know a single thing about the gossips on our not-so-well relationship, but for a while we were a quite popular topic for every living creature of Marley.

She does not know the curses of patriarchal system of Marleyan society about her, she does not know they label her as the cold-hearted bitch of Paradise.

She had been acting as a tough nut but there was a very fragile little girl inside of her heart, I knew it very well. If she were going to learn those gossips, she would be broken deeply. Even though, she has been ignoring me, I was aware of her true feelings, she did never want to be apart from me.

That’s why she could not forgive me, but she stayed with me.

I never want her to get caught up my mess, and I knew she would fight for me for her dear life, so I thought the only way was leave her to believe that I was dead. It would be better if she were not around me, but the only way to make it possible was building a barrier between us. There was no need for her to learn how many days I spent just missing her, just longing for her, hating myself so bad for letting her to go.

Yet, even with my rightful excuses and reasons, I deeply acknowledged the dire need of apologizing her over and over, begging for her forgiveness which I barely contained inside of myself.

Not seeing her around me was a hell of journey.

But seeing her around me was the worst scenario one could imagine, and I was being caught in really horrible situations since I was a boy in Underground.

She was my devoted girl, in terms of Hange’s very obvious language. She dedicated all of her to me with an incredible fidelity. When we were tying the bow, before the ceremony, before she vowed as my wedded wife, she was already the bone of my bone, the blood of my blood.

“Fucking hell.” I buzzed at my goddamn leg while I was walking to the library. It was making me slower, I hated being unable to do what I want as physically.

If I could have my body and strength as usual, the only thing I would do was taking her into my arms and having her over and over again like a fucking ouroboros.

I cursed behind my mouth and tried to walk faster. I had to catch that idiot before she was getting in touch with those poisonous vipers. However, I had to admit that what made me obnoxious more than I supposed to be not only those vipers, but also my unconscious contribution to that fucking cauldron of gossip. While I was keeping myself as invisible from her eyes when she was having an education here, I did not think of the things people could figure it out. They learned about Paradise, they learned about us, they talked about us, and everything was combined with each other.

In the end, she was labelled as an ungrateful bitch, and I was upgraded to faithful husband. I could not fix anything since I was bloody busy on hiding but hearing those comments about her fed me with pain.

She can be anything but being an ungrateful one? Do not make me laugh.

When I reached to destination, I quickly prayed for anything which could help me. I dearly hoped for she was not having any undesirable piece of information; I directly went into the entrance.

Godfuckingdamnit, she heard.

That was the first thing came to my mind when I saw her posture. Her shoulders were fallen down, her hands were shaking, and her face was nothing but full of agony. There were a couple around her, a boy and girl, they were trying to ask her if she was okey or not.

Do you think she is okey, you motherfuckers?

“Fetch me a glass of water!” I howled to them and attempted to catch Anna. “Quickly!”

Her body replied to my body immediately, fucking hell, her tensed muscled became a little bit softer when I grasped her between my arms. She was getting numb; her knees were twisting.

We had been here before.

Last time she fainted on me; we were butchering a bunch of titans.

I wonder if she carries the ODM scars still on her waist…

Is there anyone sees those little strings after me?

What the fuck I am thinking?

“Do not fucking dare to faint on me again.” I grunted but I held her as tight as I could dare of. She belongs to me, she is my bloody wife, damnit. “Keep calm and take deep breathes.”

“I am not going to faint.” she whispered, her voice was really weak, but I could hear her in every situation. Holy shit, I heard her voice when she fallen into a shitshow of titans and covered by her own blood during the clash of battlefield sounds!

We shared too many things.

“Yes, last time you said you were not going to faint, I had to carry you back to headquarters.”

“You were happy, weren’t you?” she mumbled. “I gave you the change of touching my body.”

“Hella, if I wanted to touch you, I would do before you found yourself between a titan sandwich.”

“Only in your dreams.” she said but her voice was getting weakest. I knew she was going to faint before the water, she closed her eyes, her hand dropped to the ground then the boy turned from the corner.

“Where did you get the water?” I yelled. “From Paradise?”

“I am sorry, Mr. Ackerman.” he shuttered. “There is a line in front of automatons.”

“Put that glass.” I turned to the girl. “I have only two questions to both of you. What did you say to her, and do you have something like cologne?”

“I have cologne!” the boy rushed to the back of counter desk. He left his colleague to my definitely dreadful gaze, what a companion, the girl started to slightly shake. I just looked at her by cocking my eyebrow.

“What did you say to her?”

“We did not sa-

“She fainted, let’s give up on acting and tell me what she learned from you enough to make her to lose her conscious. Before I am going to get angry.”

“She told her about the gossips.” I heard the boy’s little squeaks. “She left you, didn’t she?”

“As I thought.” I mumbled and stood up by carrying Anna’s body. “How much you told her? Tell me the whole story.”

“I swear I just talked about the speculations!” the girl angrily looked at the boy. “He told about Mrs. Ackerman’s refusal to see and its impacts on communi-

“How much you said?” I walked into the bench. “How much?”

“Just refusal!” he really screamed; his face was completely whitened. “I did not tell anything about her nickname, cold-hearted bitch!”

“If you will use that nickname again, you will not have a tongue to speak again.” I pressed on every letter of the sentence. “Tell this to everyone you know, if I hear a single word against my wife, you can be sure of I am capable of slicing living creatures like you can slice a bread.”

“O-okey!”

“Now, hold the door for us.” I turned to the main doors and walked out of the building by carrying Anna.

Carrying Anna?

What?

Anna Doukaina, after 4 hours

I woke up with a terrible headache.

Let me rephrase. I woke up because of a terrible headache.

“Here.” I heard a grumpy voice and a hand without two fingers came into my sight. “Swallow.”

I tried to move but his hand pressed me on the soft layer, a bed I guess, again.

“Feel free to lie down there. You have to rest according to the orders of doctor, so no sudden movements but you will spend a day here.”

Why a doctor came to see me?

My mind was foggy, slow to recall the last memories I had, however while I was having the pills that Levi gave me, I remembered the very last moments before I lost my conscious.

I was fainted.

Okey.

I was fainted on Levi.

Damnit.

I was fainted on Levi after I asked him if he was happy with me or not.

Godfuckingdamnit.

My mind corporate with me in the worst way I could imagine of. Those words of two receptionist, labelling me as an ungrateful wife, careless woman who did not consider her beloved one reminded me everything.

“I cannot open my eyes.” I lied to him. I know Levi is here and I am sure he did not leave me for a second, he waited me to open my eyes. I do not want to see him. “But I am pretty well, so you can go back to work.”

“I do not want to.” he plainly answered. “I will stay, and I know you can open your eyes if you want. But I respect your decision to keep them closed. I am not someone who is worth to look.”

“What?” I fell on his bloody trap and immediately looked at him.

“Oi.” he smirked. Smirk? “It is good to see you are awake.”

“How many minutes I was unconscious?” I asked but I could feel all the heat of embarrassment as I hopelessly tried to change the subject. This is why I hate being with Levi, I become a stupid, lovesick girl!

“Almost 4 hours passed after you fainted on me.” he seemed nonchalant as he informed me; my chin was dropped. 4 hours?! “I have to say, I am impressed. The last time you were fainted for almost half an hour.”

“It was not the last time.” I could not catch what I said, then I pressed my hand onto my mouth, but it was fucking too late. Levi’s eyebrows furrowed and he gazed at me while he was trying to figure what I meant.

“I will not force you to tell me,” he murmured, and he took my hand off my mouth. You are damn close, Ackerman! “But I really appreciate if you can share when you were fainted after that incident.”

“When I heard about the explosion.” I replied. I was too tired of being hiding from Levi. “I thought you were dead.”

Levi did not answer to me, instead of words, he was using his goddamn eyes. I always believed his eyes could see my heart and soul, even the deeps that I did not know anything about.

“Were you,” he cleared his throat after looking at me for a while. “Upset?”

“Ha?” I inhaled while my mind just left the building. “I thought you were dead; I was not upset. I wanted to die but I had to wait for you to be back to me. What would happen if you appeared in our home and could not find me? That was the only thought kept me alive.”

“How much you heard about explosion?” his voice was cracked. Full of fear. Anxiety.

“I knew that monkey exploded himself. No one told me in detail, no fucking one tell me that you are alive. I guess, they think I am nothing to you even though I carry your name.”

“I wanted them to shut their mouth about me.” Levi was a sweet talker as always. “I did not want my situation keeping you back from living your life as fully.”

“And what does it mean?” I managed to lift my upper body by gaining strength from my elbows. “Do you know how many days I spent mourning for you? Do you know how it was, believing that you were dead because of a monkey, because of Commander Smith, because of our goddamn world’s cruelty? An I had to continue on that way until the end!”

I could not control myself anymore, it was too much, overwhelming and suffocating. I just wanted to scream everything I have been holding inside out off my chest. I was definitely not in my best physical condition, and I really preferred to have this conversation in a situation which I would be at my best self-confidence time, but no. It was too late for that.

“Do you know how much I cried? Have you ever thought about me even for little while you are exactly aware of my devotion to you? How could you decide leaving me behind, in a total darkness by yourself? Not because once I was your wife, I was your comrade and you left me with the feelings like how you felt after Commander Erwin passed out.”

“Look at me!” he literally grunted towards me. “I am not the guy you have been knowing in the past anymore, I cannot give anything to you, unless you are fine with a small tea shop where is full of tea leaves, two Marleyan kids and a retired soldier’s company. And me, as wrecked, wounded to death, like a scumbag. How could I comeback to home like nothing happened to me, and face with you when you just having a change of living a normal life after war?”

This was the longest speech Levi gave to me till now, and we had almost half of our lives together.

“Do you think I could take you out of my mind even for a bloody second after I woke up in a fucking, dirty and cold barn? You were the last thought of me when that motherfucker exploded my cart, you were fucking crying and lamenting for me, you lost your smile, I knew that you could not overcome my death although the promises we gave to each other, I cold-heartly killed my subordinates before the explosion after they became fucking titans, but I cannot deal with the idea of you being dead. You are the only one I cannot sacrifice of. Do not act like you were alone in pain, I carried that burden, you have no idea how much I missed you, you were carved into my eyelids, I did not spend a fucking minute as not dreaming of you.”

“You should have let me know.” I gritted my teeth. To be honest, I was impressed by his honesty. Levi was always honest; however, he had never been vocal about his own feelings, I knew for once he loved me, but I had never ever heard those three words, eight letters. “There is nothing left to be said by you, you cannot find an excuse for your choice.”

“I do not try to find an excuse.” Levi said. “I explained how I felt to you until you appeared in front of my door, for a long time I strongly believed that you were a ghost.”

“What do you expect?” I hissed at him. “Do you think I can easily forget your misbehaviour? I know you like knowing the back of my hand, you always choose the way that makes you less regretful and you chose to leave me behind.”

“I did.” he inhaled. “And that was the best choice to make. I could not drag you into my shit.”

“How could you do that?” I asked but all my anger left me. I suddenly started to feel like I was empty, there was nothing but pain. “How could you, Levi? I was your wife.”

“You are my wife.” he grabbed my hand. Did he really believe that he could change our hiatus? My emotions were remained untouched, maybe he could be right on his mindset, maybe he really thought about me and tried his best in order to keep me out of his personal hell, however it did not help me to overcome all the sleepless nights I had. I pulled my hand back out of his fingers. I was searching for this hand during the long nights he caused, and there was no guarantee he would not leave me again. If he would decide on leaving me behind was the best thing to do, he would do it immediately. He would not ask my opinion, he would leave me alone with only my thoughts, my memories of him and he would let me to eat myself alive. I could almost taste the bitterness on my tongue, I could not let his poor reprimands to break my walls while my wavering feelings of abandonment conquered me.

Rain hitting the windowpane above, not a playful and soft type of rain. That was cruel rain that beating the life out of city. Suitable for us.

“You are my wife, Anna.” he repeated himself. “Should I remind it to you, goddamn, I can happily do it.”

His face transformed into something I have ever seen in his features. His Aegean eyes turned into a stormy sea in a second, burning with unnamed desires which I was also feeling in the deeps of my heart. Determination conquered his fucking handsome face, and there was fear. Self-hatred. Regret. But much to my dismay, there was a dire need of teaching me a lesson that set his soul on fire.

I have been knowing this face of Levi. I have been there before.

I knew when he got me and he knew he did.

In a blink of an eye, before I could take any position to defend myself, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me to his arms. He was fucking strong for a man who lost his strength! I quickly realized the potential danger I was in. If he would touch me, I knew that my heart did not spend even a second to betray my mind. That would be the nail in my coffin.

Even though the haziness of my mind slowed my reactions, I covered my face with my hands.

“Do not fucking dare.” I dropped my voice tone as I was informed on, I looked more intimating when I threat someone with lower tone. I did not tone down my wording, there was no place to be gentler with words, I was going to use my curses and I had quite a vocabulary. “If you lay even a finger on me, that’s going to be only way makes you regretful.”

“Maybe.” he did not try to take my hands off my face, and he literally locked me in his embrace. “I assume so.”

“If you do,” I struggled to get rid of his arms around me. “Why don’t you use your brain and let me go? For a better life?”

“So smart.” he huffed once in laughter. What the fuck? The tension of the room changed into something I really did not want even to think of naming it. “I do not have intention to let you go. Never again, brat.”

“Levi, I swear on everything you can believe, if you do not le-

“What will you do?” he interrupted me. “According to you, I already fucked the things up and you told me you will never give me your forgiveness. What makes a difference between not being forgiven for a sin or for two sins?”

“This is the shittiest logic I have ever heard, and I was in Military Police for a while.” I forgot to press my hands onto my face due to his unexpected, unpleasant, and twisted thought about forgiveness. “I do not know where you learned about sins, asking for forgiveness or literally remission, but I think you lost couple of important points.”

What I missed was while I was lecturing him on forgiveness, I let my hands down and I had been sitting on Levi Ackerman’s thighs.

More importantly, he was definitely not the type of man who miss a chance to perform what he aimed for.

He caught my hands immediately and he pressed his lips into mine.

When I felt his velvety lips on my mouth after fucking years, that sensation made me numb in a nanosecond. My logic just left the room, left me with my dire need for Levi. His hands. His lips. His love. Everything about him, I just need Levi, Godfuckingdamnit he always affected me like anaesthesia.

He kissed me and it made me felt like I was breathing again.

I could feel he loosened his tight grip around my wrists by the fact that I was definitely not fighting with him, on the contrary, I was responding to him in the way he wanted. I knew that I was going to be extremely ashamed of what the heck I was doing right now, but even the sorrowness eating me every day refused taking the control of my body back, I felt like my flesh gained an independent character who was begging to my soul for keeping the things as they were happening right now.

Levi was kissing me. His goddamn lips made me feel like I was alive.

The Ouroboros that living inside of me started to comeback into life. With every move Levi made, I could feel Ouroboros biting itself inside of me by releasing the poison.

“No.” I broke the kiss and pressed my hands to his shoulders in order to keep him away from me. He was heavily breathing, his beautiful face became pinkish while his lips shading with darker red, and his eyes, goddamn, his eyes were burning with passion.

He looked like a god, and I hated him for his level of good-looking to my bits.

I was burning too but my fire was caused by different reasons except one, the reciprocated hunger for each other was remained same between Levi and me, to my dismay I strongly felt it. However, the anger was growing in me was for both of us. To him, for his fucking departure and leaving me by myself and his shitty excuses, building a life without me, living a life in the shadows, and running away from me. The list never ends. To myself, for loving him as much as the first day I realized how much I devoted my heart to him and never manage to overcome my love for him even though I had to.

“I love you.” he said. “You fucking know, I spent my life by loving you, brat.”

Maybe there was an earthquake.

Maybe there were bombs exploding all over Marley or Paradise.

Maybe there was a chain of natural disasters which happening right now.

But I could not understand even if I would be brutally killed in this very moment.

He finally said that he loved me.

“If you say no, I will not do anything.” he murmured. “Just tell me.”

I stared at him, how could he be a total moron and did not see how I was amazed by his long-awaited confession? Inside of me, I was screaming, swearing, crying, laughing, and cursing at full speed but I was frozen in reality.

Let me introduce Levi Ackerman to you.

A blockhead, humanity’s strongest and my Ouroboros literally and figuratively eating me alive.

My Levi.

“May I continue to kiss you?”

#levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman fic #levi #levi ackerman headcanons #levi fluff #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi heichou #aot fanfiction #levi aot #snk #levi attack on titan #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #levi ackerman oneshot #shingeki no kyojin

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californiannostalgia · 4 years

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Tangled the Series Character Analysis: Childhood Trauma POV

I can't believe Tangled the Series really created two incredible antivillains and threw them in direct contrast with the pre-existing golden couple. I love what the showrunners did with the main quartet, so I made a very subjective analysis post about it from a Childhood Trauma POV. (Spoilers, obviously.)

The Boys

The series' focus is on Rapunzel, and by association her direct opposite, Cassandra, so the boys get comparatively less screen time. But it doesn't take long to figure out that Varian is meant to be a parallel for Eugene—these are two people dealing with the absence of parental guardians, struggling to reconcile the lives they previously had with their changing ideals in relation to a less-than-perfect Father Figure.

They both respond to the helpless state of being young, alone, and powerless by trying to take back power in any way they can. Eugene reinvented himself and buried his desires for a family. Varian throws in everything he has into recovering what he lost, because he's a child and the best solution he can think of is to return to the familiar safety of his father's presence. A significant portion of his desperation is fueled by fear of his father’s disapproval, because as much as Quirin loves Varian, he wasn’t the dependable voice of support. Varian needs approval from outside sources, which was also Flynn Rider’s purpose in life, once upon a time. (Again, parallels.)

Throughout the series, the boys' relationship with each other transforms from exasperated incomprehension to easy understanding. The process is hastened as Eugene lets himself realize he cares a lot about troubled kids who remind him of himself. He becomes aware that children should not be required to survive on their own like he and Lance had. Spurred on by his significant other's love and encouragement, Eugene is able to acknowledge the adverse affects of his childhood on his life and start moving on. His extending a ready hand to Varian is his process of healing. Though Eugene's first priority will always be Rapunzel, he truly wants to save Varian from the uncontrollable volatility of risky decisions because he knows that downward spiral intimately.

Of course, there is a difference between thieving from the rich and planning the destruction of a kingdom. We'll get to that later.

The Girls

Rapunzel and Cassandra are the biggest driving forces of narrative power in the show, and they are survivors of child abuse. Every one of the main quartet has Parent Issues, but Rapunzel takes the crown (figuratively speaking) with this one. She was kidnapped and groomed into a life-giving doll, and she was only able to escape her abusive adoptive mother through incredibly traumatizing means. For Cassandra, it was neglect, and even her loving adoptive father couldn't leviate the scars left on her childhood mind.

They're a classic case of Golden Child vs. Scapegoat, which is a common case seen in siblings raised by Narcissistic parents. When one child is "favored" more than the other, the kids experience vastly different childhoods, resulting in resentment that stems from their inability to understand each other. Rapunzel and Cassandra are both jealous of what the other had—Rapunzel wants Cassandra's casual, practiced ease with freedom and personal agency, while Cassandra wants the attention and respect that Rapunzel is given by the status of her birth. Because they're unwilling to speak candidly about the unique hardships of their childhood, what results is a series of miscommunications that put a strain on their friendship.

Cassandra and Rapunzel both want the other in their lives, but how they attempt to make that connection is very different. Cassandra wants to be a helpful, essential force in Rapunzel's life. Unfortunately, Rapunzel has been raised on the idea that when push comes to shove, no one will help her survive. Cassandra interprets Rapunzel's desire for independence as Rapunzel scorning the connection that Cassandra is attempting to create. Add in some manipulation from an ancient evil, and Cassandra decides she is done exhausting her emotions for Rapunzel.

Rapunzel, on the other hand, wants absolute honesty in her relationships. Gothel raised her on lies, so she spurns deception. But Cassandra knows the merits of protecting herself by holding her opinions in, which is where the misunderstandings occur. Rapunzel cannot trust someone who isn't completely forthright with her. She's tired of dealing with liars, and she grows afraid that Cassandra will cause her the same pain as Gothel did. But the thing is, Cassandra is not Gothel, and Rapunzel loved Gothel. She couldn't save Gothel, but maybe she can save Cassandra. It's not too late.

Rapunzel doesn't know when to give up on Cassandra because she is aware that she and Cassandra are similar people. Giving up on Cassandra would feel too much like giving up on her own hopes for a happy life. Rapunzel can't let Cassandra be unhappy. This princess cares too much, loves too hard. She never learned how to write people off because you can't survive a childhood like hers with that much cheer if you don't hang onto your optimism like a goddamn lifeline.

This is Rapunzel’s method of taking back power for herself: saving others. Rapunzel could have been Cassandra. Rapunzel is trying to believe she herself is worth saving—therefore, Cassandra must be worth saving as well. Rapunzel's significant other is giving her a stable source of love and support, but without a proper resolution to Cassandra's struggles—a final proof that despite Gothel's influence, they can both be happy—Rapunzel would feel incomplete.

The Golden Couple

At the end of the day, Rapunzel and Eugene are fundamentally good people. If it comes down to it, they would be unable to sacrifice the world for their own desires. (Eugene's thievery doesn't count as an expression of true desire because it was literally his method of survival. An expression of true, selfish desire for him might've been something like manipulation and abduction for the purposes of making people stay, but Eugene is not Gothel and he would never do that to anyone in a million years.) (On a side note, Rapunzel's selfish desire might've manifested in the abandonment of all duties and personal connections in favor of eternal exploration, or revenge towards a kingdom that failed to save her, or a thorough destruction of authority figures—but she loves people too much and would never be able to forsake her family.)

Life threw a lot of rocks at them, but these two came through it marginally well-adjusted. They affirmed their love for each other in a violent, unforgettable manner, which makes it easier for them to trust in each other's affection. Eugene would've been okay with never finding his biological father, just as Rapunzel had been okay with her biological parents' inability to protect her. They have no wish to punish the world for what they suffered. They’re content with who they are. They're just glad they made it, that they're finally allowed to love someone without being afraid. They're each other's saving grace.

The Antivillains

This is the difference between Hero and Antivillain: Cassandra and Varian are willing to punish the world for what happened to them. There’s a very faint line between justified retaliation and venting. In their desperation and anger, they cross the line, and they’re unable to stop themselves once they get going. Unlike the Golden Couple, Cassandra and Varian refuse to settle. They want what is owed.

Also, they really, really hate themselves. (This is important.)

Varian believes Quirin is the ultimate source of affirmation. The fact that he lost his father by way of his own dangerous experiment, coupled with the fact that no one prioritizes his call for help in the face of national disaster, is enough to make him feel isolated from the world. Though he is burdened with a growing sense of remorse for his deeds, he doesn’t stop resorting to drastic, harmful measures to get his father back until he is forcefully stopped by betrayal from his allies. He finally makes the full transition from “antagonist” to “protagonist” when Rapunzel risks herself to save Quirin from the rocks. If Quirin could not be saved, there’s a possibility Varian might have stayed an antagonist, unenthusiastic though he may have been in his villainous role. As long as Quirin is trapped in those rocks, Varian remains the villain who put him there.

With Quirin safe, Varian allows himself to take huge steps in healing. He slowly rediscovers his self-worth, one that is separate from Quirin’s approval. Rapunzel—and by extension, Eugene—play the friendly, supportive role to Varian’s ingenuity, helping him along in his quest for self-acceptance. Varian still has trouble working through the heavily ingrained self-hatred, but he recovers enough confidence in his own judgment that he takes Eugene’s warning to heart and is able to install a safety device in his father’s helmet, just in case.

This is the Varian who meets Cassandra in the Tower that once belonged to Gothel. At this point in time, Cassandra has been manipulated into thinking of herself as weak and unimportant in comparison to Rapunzel. Her adoptive father, much like Quirin, was too gruff to be vocal with approvals. Her efforts have not been met with successes. She feels like a failure, and she hates feeling like a failure. This is Cassandra’s method of taking back power: by turning herself into someone unforgettable. If she can make something of herself, she’ll finally be able to prove Gothel wrong. She can be just as special as Rapunzel, if she’s given the chance. She wants that chance.

Similar to Varian, Cassandra doesn’t stop her downward spiral until her supposed ally and mentor betrays her and forcefully takes her power away. Only when there are no options left does she allow herself to admit that she was wrong. She is then rewarded for her honesty with Rapunzel’s love and trust. Armed with a new confidence, the sisters vanquish the evil together in an epic showdown that will long be remembered. Cassandra finally gets her dramatic hero’s tale.

Rapunzel and Eugene have an internal compass that lets them make snap decisions. They don’t have the healthiest self-esteem, but they can at least stand by what they think is right. Comparatively speaking, Cassandra and Varian have terrible self-esteem. They don’t trust their own judgment and are heavily influenced by outside forces. Without the constant barrage of trust and affection from Rapunzel, who is akin to a blazing sun when it comes to personal loyalty, these antivillains might never have reached their redemptive ending. They wouldn’t have been able to let go of their twisted priorities without outside influence. Can’t blame them for it, though.

It’s no surprise that Cassandra and Varian are relatable to many people. Who wouldn’t want to reclaim what was taken from them during childhood? (Of course, the problem occurs when you start hurting others to reclaim what you lost.) Their journey is a different kind of vulnerable from Rapunzel and Eugene’s journey, and it’s extraordinary in its detail. This show is essentially a long exploration of the various ways a parent can mess you up and the coping methods of kids who want to become more than their past, which is totally up my alley of expertise. I’m grateful I got to watch them grow taller than their trauma.

Finally, here’s a parting gif of Lance, because I love him and he’s a well-adjusted ray of sunshine. We all wish we could be as mentally stable as Lance—the main quartet included.

#tangled the series #rapunzel #cassandra #varian #eugene fitzherbert #character analysis #my thoughts #child abuse #trauma recovery #when the villain origin story is self-hatred

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imthepunchlord · 4 years

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Heavy is the Elytron

Marinette Agreste-Cheng can honestly and truly say that she doesn’t like this at all. For the situation she’s in, she’s all for it. She’s all for helping Paris, securing the return of order in the wake of Hawk Moth’s chaos. In playing a part in helping.

The only unfortunate thing was her partners.

Mister Bug was incredibly friendly and easy to work off of. But he didn’t know what to do with the Lucky Charm, and was downright reckless in fights. It got old real quick to not only keep him around so he can use the cure, but to also figure out the Lucky Charm for him.

And then there was Cinnabar. He could handle the Lucky Charm, and with him, akumas were handled in minutes. For her tight schedule, it was a relief. But Cinnabar himself was irritating. Unfriendly, unhappy to be here, and downright snobby.

He was so good at what he does, but had such reluctance to be here that he was an uncommon sight as a hero. And Marinette can relate, being a hero wasn’t her first choice either. And he had an obligation to appear as Mister Bug struggled, but didn’t want to pass on his half of the earring to someone who could do better with it; which left Cinnabar occasionally coming in to see to it that things are done swiftly.

For what Marinette assumed to be twins, it was a mess of a partnership.

What was a saving grace was that she didn’t have to deal with both. There was only one kwami for the two piece miraculous. She didn’t have to deal with both of them at the same time, or whatever tension was there between them.

But in comes Simon Says, and evidently, their kwami had enough, and divided herself.

And now there were two.

Two polar opposite beetles acting as her bodyguard. One to use Lucky Charm, and one to use Miraculous Ladybug. And as she figured, the tension between the two was high. And curiously her Papa was tense too, Gabriel looking at these two Ladybug themed heres, looking quite perturbed.

Marinette can relate. She was now going to have to deal with two of them, and Cinnabar was a must show now that he had the Lucky Charm that assisted in their win. She hoped that as a trio they could do well together.

“Where is Maotif,” Cinnabar voiced loudly, leaving her to tense a little. “It’s not like her to be late.”

Mister Bug offered, “Maybe she got caught up in the army outside?”

“You would have, but not her.”

Nice to know Cinnabar thought highly of her. Frowning, she did note she should do something to excuse her being so late. Both of them were expecting her, as was her Papa. She just needs to give Maotif a little leeway till she can really join them.

Sparing a fast glance around, securing that no one was paying attention, she quickly snuck away, heading for her Maman’s tea room. What was once a room full of a variety of smells now had a stale, dusty scent in the air. And it grew the length of her absence.

Marinette didn’t like coming here.

“Ok, Plagg,” she bid, opening up her blazer, allowing the kwami to dart out. “Lets send out a quick little message. Claws out!”

Pulling out her baton, she tapped to call the ladybug miraculous. It went off immediately, a double ring echoing through the mansion. Mister Bug picked up quickly, Motif hearing his voice through the baton and the mansion.

“Hey, Mao! We were wondering where you were.”

“Hey, Bug,” she returned, heading further into the room. Currently the window and entryway to the garden was blocked off, leaving Maman’s tea room dark. “Sorry I’m not there yet, currently caught up in the attack.”

“Oh, ok, no problem! Stay safe, we’ll handle things here.”

“You two,” she bid, swiftly ending the call. “Claws in,” she murmured, allowing the transformation to fall away. Just in time as the door to her tea room opened, Plagg barely diving back under her blazer just in time. She turned in surprise to see Cinnabar there, his blue eyes set on her, one of his white spots on his mask raised.

“What are you doing in here?” he asked.

“Oh! Sorry, I just uh, needed a moment,” she said.

He looked around the room, curiosity shining in his eyes. She provided, “This was my Maman’s tea room. We all spent a lot of time here.” Except for the last year.

His expression fell, a weight settling in his gaze. He had a start when she set a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention back to her. “You ok, Cinnabar?”

“I’m… fine. I’m fine.” He drew away, opening the door more for her. “We should get you back, your father was noticing your absence.”

She murmured another apology, heading out and starting to head back. Cinnabar moved behind her, a slower pace, watching the girl before him. Part of him wondered if he should ask. How does she handle the loss of a parent? How can she move forward with that weight, still smile despite the loss?

How does she prepare for it?

But Cinnabar kept his lips shut. That was too close and personal for him to ask or to reveal or share. Both for himself and for his set up as a hero. He couldn’t risk delving out that information, even if it meant he was uncertain to have that strength to handle the coming loss…

#miraculous ladybug #kwami swap #life swap #marinete dupain cheng #marinette agreste cheng #adrien agreste #adrien dupain #felix graham de vanily

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easily-infatuated23 · 4 years

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At the Ballet (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

a/n: hey! i am a dancer so this was super fun to write. i’ll link the video’s of the variations discussed both here and in the actual story incase you want to watch it ‘in the moment’ also the ending is super cliche but i wasn’t sure how to finish

Y/H/H/C= your hogwarts house color

Dying swan variation

Kirtri Variation

pairing: Draco Malfoy x Dancer!Reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: super brief mentions of blood and cancer

summary: Reader is using the Room of Requirement as a dance studio when a certain blonde finds her and watches her dance

I am probably one of the only people in the world who would be unhappy to find out they were a wizard. The day my Hogwarts letter came in I was devastated. As a muggle-born witch, I had lived the first eleven years of my life without any magic or magical knowledge. I also happened to be one of the few lucky people in the world who was born knowing what they wanted to do when they grew up. Ever since I was three years old, all I wanted to do was dance. While all the other kids were playing princess or digging in the sand box, I was twirling around the play ground. When I started my first formal dance lesson at age five, I was hooked. Everyday I diligently went to dance class after school. I would pull on my pink tights and leotard in the car, just to make sure I was ready when class started. While other kids had sleepovers and weekend playdates, I was in the studio working. When I got my first pointe shoes I was over the moon. I could finally look like those beautiful ballerina’s I’d seen on stage. I could just picture myself in the beautiful white tutu, being lifted in the air by a handsome prince. That all changed when I got my letter.

Boarding school meant no after school classes. Boarding school meant no studios. Boarding school meant crushing my career aspirations. I worked very hard once I got to Hogwarts. I threw myself into my school work to try and forget the aching feeling in my body building up from not dancing. I was too embarrassed to bring my leotard and tights to school but I couldn’t bear to leave my pointe shoes at home. The pink satin shoes called to me like a siren does to a sailor. When the common room was empty or when I could sneak into a classroom, I would dance. The cold stone floors wrecked my beautiful satin shoes, but, I couldn’t stop. Every summer I would take multiple classes a day, trying to gain any training I had lost. Even though I was a witch, I had no plans to go into a magical career. It was always dance. Always.

By my third year at Hogwarts I started to give up hope. My training was falling further and further behind my peers. At this rate, I would never be hired by a company. Then, the strangest thing happened. One day, I was walking down an empty corridor when I saw a door appear that I didn’t recognize. When I entered the room, my heart skipped a beat. Inside, I found a perfect replica of my studio from home. There were mirrors on all sides of the room, a stack of barres sitting in a corner, and a piano. How had I never seen this room before! After this discovery, I used this room (which I later learned is known as the Room of Requirement) every single day. One day when I came in, there was a white tutu sitting on the piano, just like the one I had always dreamed of. Although I had good friends at school, I never talked about my intense love for dance. I had made the mistake of telling someone I intended to go into a muggle career after school, and I was laughed at by all who heard. This caused me to keep my love a secrete.

By fourth year, I came to school with all of my leotards and a full lesson plan given to me by my ballet teacher at home. She had even given me a new challenge too. She assigned me a set of four solo variations to learn and perfect, one of which was the ‘Dying Swan’ variation from Swan Lake. Although the ‘Dying Swan’ variation was not the most technically difficult variation of the group, the emotions that needed to be portrayed made it increasingly difficult. The girl, Odette, was transformed into a swan. She was cursed to live as a swan during the day and become human at night. While in human form, she fell in love. The variation is about when she learned that the love of her life had spurned her for another and it was literally killing her. It was this variation I worked the hardest on. Repeating it over and over, sometimes until my feet would bleed.

Today’s rehearsal was different. I had gotten the bad news that my beloved teacher was diagnosed with late stage cancer and that I would probably never get to see her again. Today’s rehearsal was for her. I was no longer dancing the variation as a girl losing her lover, but as a student losing her mentor. It made the emotions of the dance feel more real and intense. I walked into the Room of Requirement and put on my pointe shoes, making sure to do plenty of relevés and warming up properly. Then, it was time.

I put on my white tutu and waved my wand at the small CD player, starting the sorrowful song. I glided across the space, waving my arms as if they were wings. No. Not good enough. I started again. No. My balance was wrong. I started again. This cycle continued until I got so frustrated I cried. Then, I felt it in my soul. I finally started to connect to the character and emotions I was trying so desperately to portray. I took a deep breath and started again. This time, it felt right. I glided across the floor, I held every balance, I truly felt like I did it perfectly. There was no separation between the music and my dancing. It felt like the violin was the dancer and I was the violinist. When the end finally came, I gracefully slid to my knee and draped my arms over my outstretched leg. Before I could congratulate myself on my execution, I heard someone begin to clap. I sat up with a start and turned to face the intruder. A boy with platinum blonde hair begin to saunter over, still clapping slowly. He saw my shocked expression and spoke. “The door was slightly open and I heard music, thought I’d check it out.” he began. “That was…” he paused, as if he was trying to decide on the appropriate word. “…heart-wrenchingly beautiful” he finished. I blushed slightly, secretly hoping it blended in with the color already present on my face from the exertion. “Thank you” I said quickly.

I turned and pressed the stop button on the CD player before the song restarted. “I’m serious, that was incredible” he said again. I gave a quick uncomfortable smile before taking my tutu off. After all, I had other variations to rehearse and I wasn’t going to let some nosy kid stop me. “Thank you for the compliment but would you please leave, I have other things I need to rehearse” I said shortly. “But please don’t tell anyone about this, I don’t need anyone giving me shit about this”. He looked at me, puzzled. “Why would people give you shit about this?” he asked, crossing his arms as a slight scowl formed on his previously awe-struck face. “Because I want to go into a muggle career” I said matter-a-factly. “Oh” he said.

I took a sip from my water bottle and checked my rehearsal notes for which variation I should do next. I looked over at the door, the boy was still standing there. “Are you gonna leave or are you just gonna stand there gawking at me?” I asked. He looked flustered for a moment. “Oh um, can I or well, would you mind if I watched? My uh, my mother took me to the ballet a few times as a kid so I guess its kinda nostalgic” he said honestly. I took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. I hadn’t had an audience in a while. “Fine but you can’t laugh if I mess up” I said. “Deal” he replied.

Next variation on the list, the act 1 finale Kitri variation from Don Quixote. Different from the ‘Dying Swan’ variation this one is filled with fire and joy. I knew I could do this one well and I figured that I should show off since my intruder had decided to stay. The music began and I was on fire. Every jump and turn I did was perfect. Then came the dreaded diagonal. I would have to complete twenty turns on pointe in a perfect diagonal, then end in a balance on one leg. I always would get nervous for this part but I nailed it. After I finished, there came another round of applause, this one more full bodied than the last. “Merlin, that was…just wow” the boy said. I turned to face him a curtsied. “Thank you! It seems like I dance better in front of an audience” I said jokingly. The blonde laughed and looked down at his feet. He pushed him self off of the wall he had been leaning on and walked closer to me.

“I’m Malfoy by the way, Draco Malfoy”. He stuck his hand out. “Well Draco it’s nice to meet you” I said, reaching for his outstretched hand and shaking it. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N”. I took a step back and looked at the clock that was positioned above the door. “Well, I’m done for the day, if I don’t stop now I never will and Snape’s potions essay will never get done.” I walked over to my dance bag and plopped down on the floor, beginning the relief-filled but somewhat painful process of taking off my pointe shoes. “Does it hurt?” Draco asked. “Oh yeah like hell, but the longer you do it the sooner your feet go numb to the pain” I replied, placing the shoes into my bag. Next, I stood up and peeled off my pink tights. I had seen a video of a professional ballerina wearing her tights over her leotard and I’d worn mine in just the same way ever since then. Although I wasn’t looking directly at Draco, I could of sworn I saw him blush a bit. I pulled on my skirt and button down shirt, lastly tying my Y/H/H/C tie around my neck. Draco was still standing there, just watching me as I gathered my things. “Are you just gonna keep staring at me or…?” I said, causing him to shake his head slightly as if he was bringing his brain back down to Earth. “I was actually on my way to the library when I found you, are you headed that way” Draco asked. “Yes, I was planning on going to the library to finish this essay after a quick shower” I replied. “We could study together if you want, meet in the library around 8?” he proposed. I looked at the clock, 7:30, I could make that. “Sure” I said, smiling sweetly. “Just don’t sneak up on me if I get there before you” I joked. He chuckled softly. “See you at 8” I said as I walked out of the room. He waved.

It was surprisingly fun working with Draco. We both got the work we needed to done but managed to have some fun conversations as well. He asked me all about dance and my life. I told him quite a bit about myself, more than I had told to most. He cringed when I told him I was muggle-born but I didn’t think much of it. I tried asking him some of the same questions he asked me, but he was much more reserved and closed off in his answers. I didn’t mind, we are all entitled to privacy.

The next few weeks went by like a blur. Draco had started joining me for my daily rehearsals. He would sit in the back of the room and do homework. Sometimes it felt like that homework was to study me and my body but it didn’t bother me. A few times, when he would ask me how it was possible to do certain steps, I would force him to try some. “Bloody hell this is impossible!” he yelled. “How in Merlin’s name do you do this??”. “Draco its fifth position, this is what the seven year olds learn, stop fussing!” I replied, trying to fix his arms in the position. “No no, chin up, stomach in, arms up, straighten your legs, no your arms are dropping again, no don’t look down!” I giggled calling these corrections at him. “I truly don’t know how you do this” he said, laughing along with me. “It took years of hard work and dedication” I replied. “No your focus is down again” I said, reaching out and touching his cheeks. This action brought his gaze straight forward and directly into my eyes. We stayed like that for a moment before I removed my hands and took a few steps back, the tapping of my pointe shoes cutting through the silence like a knife. “There, you got it” I said finally, unconsciously biting my lip. “Run me through that last correction again” he said, taking a few steps towards me. The gap between our bodies was nearly completely closed. He reached out and cupped my cheeks. “It not this,” he said, pointing my face at the ground. “it’s like this” he finished his sentence. He titled my head up and leaned in cautiously. I swallowed hard. “Mhmm” was all that managed to escape my mouth. Just as I thought he was about to kiss me, the bell tower rang 8 o’clock. We both giggled at the tension that had suddenly been released and he lightly bumped his forehead on mine before releasing my cheeks and stepping back. “I have to go, I’m supposed to be tutoring someone at 8” he said with an air of disappointment. “Yeah of course go I’ll see you later” I replied. He picked up his bag and walked toward the door. He was halfway through it when he turned around and flashed me with one last smile before fully exiting. My hand reached up to my face and felt my cheek, as if it was trying to replicate the feeling Draco’s hand. I smiled and shook my head softly. I turned back to the mirrors and walked over to the CD player. I let out a small giggle then pressed play. Now I understood how those heroine’s in the ballet felt when their prince’s gently caressed their cheek, and I was gonna make sure to rehearse that moment again and again.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #dancer!reader #hogwarts #harry potter #ballet #slytherin #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #gryffindor #room of requirement #draco malfoy fluff #harry potter au

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queenie-lexieee · 3 years

Text

[[ CC Character Profile ]]

Fandom:

Once Upon A Time

Full name:

Belle Gold (French)

Nickname(s):

•Lucy

Sex/Pronouns:

Female

Birthdate:

December 27th

Age:

20-Old Age

(Season 1-7)

Skills/Powers:

•Book Knowledge

•Leadership

•Patiences

•Problem Solving

•Languages

•Map Knowledge

•A bit of fighting

•Manners of a princess

[[ About ]]

Personality:

•Caring

•Loving

•Forgiving

•Booksmart

•Bookworm

•Clever

•Loving

•Adventurous

•Hardworking

•Helpful

•Herioc

•Honest

•Humble

•Knowledge

•Loyal

Likes:

•Books

•Liberties

•Roses

•Traveling The World

•Yellow

•Fighting for what’s true

•Adventures

•Tea

•Helping people

Dislikes:

•Animals

•Jerks

•Being lied to

•Being tricked

•Being hurt

•Being mistreated

•Villains

•Being gullible

•Bullies

Occupation: Pawnbroker, Librarian, Maid

Fears:

Losing love ones

Losing her son and husband

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Species:

Human

Faceclaim: Emilie de Ravin

[[ Relations ]]

Farther: Sir Maurice/Moe French

Mother: Colette

Spouse: Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold

Child: Gideon

Stepchildren: Baelfire/Neal Cassidy (deceased)

Grandchildren: Henry Mills (step-grandson)

Lucy Vidrio (step-great-granddaughter)

Significant Other(s):

Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold

[[ Biography ]]

After the casting of the Dark Curse, Belle becomes a patient in the town hospital's psychiatric ward. Due to remembering his life from the Enchanted Forest, Mr. Gold has memories of how he lost Belle presumably at the hands of her father. One day, he takes away the delivery truck of Belle's father, Moe French, who is late on his rent payments. Later, Mr. Gold's house is ransacked and several items, including his only memento of Belle—a chipped cup—goes missing. All of the belongings except for the cup are returned. Suspecting Moe has it, Mr. Gold decides to take things into his own hands and tries to beat the truth out of the man while expressing a great deal of rage in blaming him for Belle's death. Instead, it is revealed Regina stole the cup, and uses it to goad Mr. Gold into telling her his real name. Satisfied, Regina gives the cup back and leaves to pay a visit to Belle at the hospital while Mr. Gold remains unaware his lost love is alive. ("Skin Deep")

Jefferson is jilted by Regina on her promise that if he helped her retrieve something from the Enchanted Forest to get rid of Emma, and then she'd bring his daughter back to him. To spite her, he decides to free the imprisoned girl in the psychiatric ward and bring her to Mr. Gold, who he knows won't be pleased at what Regina has done. He disguises himself as a hospital staff member and sneaks down to free Belle after drugging the nurse. He urges Belle to seek out Mr. Gold, and gives her instructions to tell him specifically that Regina locked her up. She goes into the pawn shop and informs Mr. Gold what happened. He is shocked to see her alive, and though Belle doesn't remember him, he promises to protect her. Whilst leading her out to the woods towards the wishing well, the Dark Curse breaks. Belle regains her Enchanted Forest memories, and reaffirms her love for Mr. Gold, who she still affectionately calls Rumplestiltskin. From the wishing well, she watches as Mr. Gold mixes the true love potion with the well water, which transforms it into a purple smoke and brings magic back to Storybrooke.

Following the aftermath of the restoration of magic in Storybrooke, Belle and Mr. Gold speak beside the wishing well. She tells him of her imprisonment and asks if the release of magic was to seek revenge for her capture. He states it wasn't his intention, but will use it as an advantage. She makes him promise not to use the magic and seek revenge against Regina, which he agrees to. However, Mr. Gold finds a way to harm his nemesis without himself being the actual person to do so by releasing a Wraith to suck out Regina's soul. Upset at his broken oath, she leaves the pawnshop in tears of anger and frustration. After the Wraith disappears through a vortex, leaving Regina unscathed, Belle returns and states she will remain with Mr. Gold because he is still a "monster". ("Broken")

On night, Belle has a nightmare in which Mr. Gold attacks Leroy, who has come looking for his axe. To her horror, he takes on his old appearance as the Dark One and proceeds to strangle Leroy to death. She wakes up in a cold sweat and goes looking for Mr. Gold; finding him in the basement secretly spinning gold thread and working on magic. The next day, she attempts to ask him about what he was doing in the prior night. When he tries to brush it off, she calls him a coward for not letting her into his life. Then, without informing Mr. Gold, Belle leaves for the diner, where Ruby helps her figure out a possible job at the currently closed down library as a librarian. She goes to peek at the inside of the building from the window, but is distracted and then kidnapped by William Smee, who brings her to Moe French. At first, Belle is overjoyed to see her father again, but balks when he insists that she leave Mr. Gold for good. Unable to convince her, Moe orders Smee to take his daughter outside the town line so that she will lose her memory. Belle is handcuffed to a mining cart underground as it sets off on the tracks. In an attempt to free herself, she grabs a key for the cuffs, but drops it. Belle is saved by Mr. Gold's magic, but makes it clear she doesn't want him in her life, since he is unable to be truthful with her, and is equally unhappy with Moe for making choices for her. While spending time getting acquainted with food at the diner, Ruby gives her a small box someone left on the front desk. The box contains is a key, which Belle uses to open the library. Inside the building, Mr. Gold admits bringing magic to Storybrooke because he doesn't know how to live without magic. However, the price of bringing magic to town is not being able to leave without losing his Enchanted Forest memories, and therefore, Mr. Gold is unable to search for his son, who was also his motivation for making the Dark Curse. He acknowledges experimenting with magic to figure out a way to break the price of magic. After telling her all this, he turns to leave, but Belle wants to start over with Mr. Gold, and invites him for a hamburger at Granny's. ("The Crocodile")

At the diner, Belle celebrates with the miners after the discovery of diamonds in the Storybrooke Mines, which can be made into fairy dust and rescue Emma and Mary Margaret from the Enchanted Forest. While drinking, she sees Ruby being asked out by Billy. Noting her friend's obvious discomfort, she comes over to excuse Ruby for the night with the reason being they are having a girls' night out. Billy takes the rejection in stride and leaves. Belle remarks that he seems nice, though Ruby is distracted and heads to the back room of the diner. The next morning, Billy turns up dead, and Ruby is accused of murder, since she shape shifted into a wolf the night before, but can't remember anything. David and Granny believe in her innocence, as does Belle, who allows them to hide Ruby in the library from the angry townspeople. Ruby is chained up as a safety precaution, but Belle releases her when she asks for a restroom break. Instead, she is cuffed while Ruby, believing the townspeople's hatred towards her is justified, goes to face the mob. Much later, David presumably unchains Belle after discovering Albert is the actual culprit in Billy's death and Ruby's name is cleared. ("Child of the Moon")

Belle and Mr. Gold finally go on a date at Granny's with a serving of hamburgers. They are interrupted by the presence of Regina, who needs Mr. Gold's help in dealing with their nemesis, Cora. Belle asks who Cora is, though Mr. Gold replies she will never have to meet her. Mr. Gold argues he has defeated Cora before, but Regina reminds him that was during a time he "didn't have anything to lose". From this, she indirectly references that Belle will be in danger if Cora reaches her, which makes the librarian nervous. ("Into the Deep")

In the pawnshop, Belle is getting ready for a picnic lunch with Mr. Gold when Emma, David and Mary Margaret arrive. They accuse Mr. Gold of causing Archie's death, to which Belle reacts in disbelief. Mr. Gold proves his innocence by giving Emma a dream catcher to look into the memories of Archie's dog Pongo, who witnessed his owner's death. She sees a recollection of Regina killing Archie in cold blood, though no one is aware it is actually Cora masquerading as the madam mayor. ("The Cricket Game")

She, along with the other townspeople, attend Archie's funeral where Mary Margaret gives a eulogy in remembrance of him. Afterwards, Belle meets up with Mr. Gold, who happily informs her about his success in making a potion to cross the border, which will work if poured on his son's shawl. She wishes to go with him, but he regretfully says the potion is only enough for one person. Later in the day, Belle goes to sort books in preparation for a future library opening. Once inside, she recognizes a stranger as Hook and runs away, but he blocks her. Belle pins him on the floor by toppling a bookshelf and scurries into the elevator.

She calls Mr. Gold and tries to give more details about Hook, but he can't hear her through the bad reception. She stays in the elevator until Mr. Gold comes to the library. Reunited, they hurry back to the pawnshop as Mr. Gold hesitantly tells her how Hook stole his wife, Milah, from him years ago. When she asks what happened to his wife, Mr. Gold says that she died. He discovers the shawl is gone and furiously plans to go after Hook alone. He hands her a loaded gun to defend herself with. She returns to the library and finds a knot Hook left behind. From browsing through a book about knots, she determines it comes from a ship. At the dock, she sees a bird standing on something invisible. Belle uses a pinch of dust to outline the steps onto a ship, and follows them up through a barrier onto the deck. She ventures below deck to free a trapped Archie and urges him to go back to town, which he does. Belle looks for the shawl, and distractedly sets down the gun. Hook makes himself known to her with the shawl in hand. They both lunge for the gun, but he grabs it first and aims it at her forehead. He reveals Mr. Gold killed Milah by ripping out heart and crushing it. Even knowing this, Belle still believes Mr. Gold has changed for the better. She hits him with a rowing paddle and runs away to above deck with the shawl, but Hook gets there first. When Mr. Gold shows up to beat Hook bloody, Belle pleads for him to stop as proof he has changed from the past. They leave together, and later that night, she watches as he uses the potion and shawl to cross the border while his memory stays intact. From the opposite side of the town line, Belle promises to wait for him. Suddenly, a bullet ricochets into her shoulder from behind. She falls over the border into Mr. Gold's arms and loses her memories as Hook is revealed to be the shooter. In an amnesiac state, Belle doesn't recognize her own name when Mr. Gold calls her, and witnesses him conjuring a fireball just as a car crashes into town. ("The Outsider")

Frantic and confused, she doesn't understand what is going on. Mr. Gold is worried about Belle's injuries, so he magically heals them, which only frightens her. Emma arrives in her sheriff car with David and Mary Margaret. While an ambulance is called, Mary Margaret soothes a panicked Belle, and later hands her over to a nurse at the hospital. Taken in as a patient, Belle tries to get some rest, but is startled awake by Mr. Gold kissing her. She screams in horror until he leaves. However, Mr. Gold returns later with a chipped cup, which he says is enchanted with magic, and insists that she try looking at it so her memories might come back. She becomes afraid and unsure when he mentions magic. She gives the cup back, though he keeps pushing it back at her. Frustrated, she angrily throws the cup at the wall as it shatters into pieces. She demands for him to leave, which he finally does in tears. ("In the Name of the Brother")

During Belle's stay at the hospital, Ruby tries to cheer her up with some familiar things, such as her favorite book. Belle suspiciously questions her about the accident and the man who used magic to heal her. Worried about exposing magic, Ruby ignores the inquiry and tries to persuade Belle that the tranquilizers must be giving her hallucinations. Upset no one believes her, Belle acts out violently and has to be sedated by the nurse. Later that night, Greg, who was the driver in car crash, visits Belle in her room. She thinks he doesn't believe her about the fireball just like everyone else, though Greg admits he saw it too. ("Tiny")

While still resting up in her hospital room, Belle meets Regina. Uneasy at the woman's presence, she asks if they were friends. Regina mentions they knew each other, and asks Belle about Mr. Gold and the dagger. She has no memories of anything, so Regina knocks the girl unconscious and uses magic to levitate the items in Belle's bag into the air to find clues on the dagger's location. ("Manhattan")

From her cellphone, she receives a call from Mr. Gold. Apologetically, Belle tries to tell Mr. Gold she doesn't remember him, which he knows, but wanted to give his last regards to her as he is dying. He describes the person he knew in her; a beautiful woman who loved an ugly man, and further explains that she creates goodness in those who don't have any. Belle begins to tear up at his words, but he hangs up before she can respond. ("The Miller's Daughter")

When Mr. Gold pays her a visit, Belle is happy and relieved to see he survived and didn't die. She is more trustworthy of him since their phone conversation and believes that he wants to help her regain memories. She tries to thank him for healing her, but he avoids the topic of magic, which disappoints her. While Mr. Gold is getting her discharged from the hospital, Belle packs up her belongings. Regina comes in to introduce herself as the mayor.

When she hears from Belle that Mr. Gold is going to help restore her memories, Regina is displeased. Thinking quickly, Regina bends down to pick up an item, and instead conjures an enchantment on little red card of the town bar, The Rabbit Hole. Regina asks if it belongs to Belle. Though Belle says no, Regina suggests she should take a better look at it. Belle glances down at the card and is surprised at the flood of memories, exclaiming she remembers who she is. In fact, Regina has given her false memories to replace the ones she lost previously. Belle assumes the name Lacey and leaves the hospital to hit up the bar by playing pool and chatting with Mr. Clark. Mr. Gold approaches her, and she remembers him as the man who visited her at the hospital. A man, Keith, tries to flirt with her, but she shoots him down. Mr. Gold asks Lacey out on a date at Granny's, which she accepts out of pity for him. Despite turning down Keith earlier, she makes plans to meet with him behind the diner.

During the date, Lacey is impressed by Mr. Gold's approachable personality since the stories about him say otherwise. She states that it's important to truly know someone by seeing what's in a person's heart. He accidentally spills wine on her dress, so she goes to clean up, but actually goes to make out with Keith outside. Mr. Gold witnesses them and shoves Keith off in the belief he is assaulting Lacey. Instead, she admits the real reason she agreed to the date. Lacey is simply not attracted to Mr. Gold's nice guy personality, and specifies they do not fit together because she isn't Belle. Later, in the bar's parking lot, she watches Mr. Gold beating up Keith. Intrigued, she realizes Mr. Gold is actually more than meets the eye, and finds herself drawn to his dark nature. She stands by with a mischievous smile as Mr. Gold continues to hit Keith. ("Lacey")

Afterwards, she and Mr. Gold leave and walk down the street chatting happily, which is secretly witnessed by Hook through a telescope in the clock tower. ("The Evil Queen")

One morning, while on the streets, Mr. Gold accuses Dr. Whale of eyeing Lacey in a suggestive manner and intimidates him into a cowered state. With Lacey's approval, he is inches away from stamping his foot in Dr. Whale's face when Neal rushes out of the bed and breakfast to stop the dispute. Neal is disgusted at his father's actions and reminds him of the time he turned someone into a snail. Amused, Lacey laughs and asks to know more about it, but Mr. Gold senses tension from Neal, so he sends her off to wait for him elsewhere while he converses with his son. Lacey spends more time with his Mr. Gold at his shop as they drink. She is exasperated and annoyed when asked to step in the next room after Mary Margaret and David come to Mr. Gold for help in finding a missing Regina. She overhears them bargaining with him for magic. After they are gone, she asks about his magic use and is amazed when he procures an expensive looking necklace out of thin air and helps her to put it on. After learning more about Mr. Gold inability to age due to his powers, Lacey wonders if she, too, could become immortal so they could be together forever. He says it's possible, but mentions that it doesn't keep a person immune from dying. Mr. Gold goes on to tell her about the prophecy a seer gave him a long time ago that a certain someone will be his undoing, which he takes to mean his death will occur because of that person. Puzzled, Lacey questions why he doesn't just get rid of the obstacle in his way as he's the kind of man who won't let anything stand in his way. ("Second Star to the Right")

After some of pawnshop guests leave, Lacey pops out from the backroom. When she spills a cup of scotch all over the table and hastily tries to use Baelfire's shawl as a wiping rag, Mr. Gold angrily berates her. Startled, she apologizes, to which he pulls out a bag and spills out the contents--broken pieces of the chipped cup--onto the table. Using magic, Mr. Gold reconstructs the cup to its unbroken state. Lacey expresses confusion over his fixation on the cup, but drinks a potion substance when he pours it for her. After a moment, Lacey's persona is replaced by the return of Belle. They have an emotional reunion. Mr. Gold apologizes for bringing her back when they are going to die from the trigger's effects, but needed the support. She comforts him as he cries over the loss of his son. The trigger is stopped with the combined magic powers of Emma and Regina, but Henry is kidnapped by Greg and Tamara and taken to another world. Mr. Gold decides he must go along to save him. Belle wants to go, too, but he instructs her to stay and keep the town safe. Sadly, Mr. Gold won't be able to return to her. Even to this, Belle keeps up her hopes that the future is uncertain and perhaps they will see each other again. They part with a kiss. Belle praises Mr. Gold for his efforts as Neal would be very proud of him. ("And Straight On 'Til Morning")

She watches the Jolly Roger sail off into a portal in the ocean and disappear from sight. Archie, Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Happy, Leroy, Mr. Clark, Mother Superior and Walter run up to her at the docks. Belle admits to them that the others went to another world on a ship to rescue Henry from Greg and Tamara's clutches. After showing them the cloaking spell Mr. Gold left behind for her to enact as he warned there will be more people coming to Storybrooke, they go down to the mines. Since fairy dust is necessary for the spell, Bashful, Dopey, Leroy, Mr. Clark and Walter quarry a large rock until opening a crack. With encouragement from Mother Superior, Belle dumps the vial's contents on the rock; causing a stream of magic to shoot out and begin covering a barrier over Storybrooke. Afterwards, she talks to Archie about missing Mr. Gold and worries he will die. Belle wishes to help save Henry, though Archie thinks she did more than enough by protecting Storybrooke. Yet, she is dissatisfied since pouring a potion over rocks isn't much to her. Belle also thinks no one is going to invade the town, and believes Mr. Gold doesn't need her. Suddenly, a guest from Neverland, Ariel, brings Belle a sand dollar from Mr. Gold. The two head over to the pawnshop where Belle triggers the item to reveal a message from Mr. Gold hinting at the location of the item they need to defeat Pan. He states that it can be found with "the strength of their love", and later recognizes the riddle's answer as the chipped cup. After placing the cup in the cupboard, it activates a hidden panel in the floor. Belle pulls out Pandora's Box, which legend says contains the world's darkest evil. They are ambushed by two strangers, Michael and John, who then tie them up. When threatened by their guns, Belle admits the box is magic, and learns they work for Peter Pan. After the men leave with the box, Belle pulls off Ariel's bracelet, which transforms the later back into a mermaid, allowing wiggle room out of the binds. Then, Belle stops John and Michael from smashing the box with a dwarf pickax by shoving them away with a mine cart. They plead for her not to help Mr. Gold, and admit to helping Pan because he has their sister Wendy captive. To this, she persuades them that the box is the key to freeing Wendy. Belle sees Ariel off on her journey back to Neverland with the box. ("Dark Hollow")

Following a safe journey out of Neverland to Storybrooke, Belle welcomes back Mr. Gold and Neal. Peace resumes as Mr. Gold seals the box containing Pan away in the pawnshop. Belle brings up the endless possibilities of his future now that everything is settled. Mr. Gold agrees, and states that the only future he wants is where they are together. The next day, as she and Mr. Gold are exiting the shop, David, Emma and Mary Margaret rush over to ask for the box as they believe Pan is controlling the escaped Shadow from inside it. Belle goes with them to the town border and watches as Emma steps over the town line and Mr. Gold opens the box to release Pan on the same side. Pan claims to be Henry, as the two switched bodies, and proves it by telling Emma something only the boy himself would know. They all regroup with Hook, Neal and Tinker Bell at the vault. where Regina took "Henry" for protection, though the door is locked. Mr. Gold busts the door open with magic. Inside, Regina is found unconscious while one critical item is missing and now in Pan's hands--the Dark Curse. ("The New Neverland")

Mr. Gold shares with everyone of the only viable way to stop Pan's curse is for Regina, as the original caster of the Dark Curse, to undo it by destroying the scroll, though there will be a steep price for this. They plan to switch Henry back to his own body so he will be in possession of the scroll and bring it to Regina. Mr. Gold can perform the spell, but needs a strong outlet in order for it to work. Tinker Bell has knowledge of a powerful Black Fairy wand that Mother Superior kept, so she, David, Hook and Neal go to retrieve it from the convent nuns. When the wand is procured, Mr. Gold uses it to transfer Henry's spirit back to his original body. Everyone leaves to find the boy while Mr. Gold stays behind. With Granny's tracking skills, they are reunited with Henry. Regina passes out after taking the scroll and awakens with knowledge of the price for stopping the curse. They are accosted by Pan as he steals back the scroll and freezes them in place. Pan narrows down his choice of first kill from Belle to Neal just as Mr. Gold intervenes. Belle listens as Mr. Gold declares his love for her, as well as Neal, but regretfully states that he can't be together with them. Mr. Gold summons the dagger and stabs Pan as well as himself with it; killing both of them as they fade away. After the freezing spell wears off, Belle collapses on the ground in heartbroken grief. Regina reveals the price for stopping the curse is all former Enchanted Forest inhabitants will be sent back to their old world while Storybrooke will disappear out of existence. Emma decides to stay with Henry, and will leave town while Regina crafts new memories for them. At the town border, Archie lends his shoulder to a despondent Belle. Once Emma and Henry cross out of town, Regina stops Pan's curse, causing everyone inside town to be sent back to the Enchanted Forest. ("Going Home")

A new curse is cast by none other than Snow White; returning Belle and the rest of the Enchanted Forest inhabitants to the town of Storybrooke. However, as a result of Wicked Witch of the West's interference, everyone's last recollection is the final day in Storybrooke when Regina stopped Pan's curse, but no one can recall anything further than that. Belle resumes life, albeit without Mr. Gold, and begins running his pawnshop. Emma returns and holds a town hall meeting to figure out who is behind the new curse. Leroy is quick to accuse Regina of wrongdoing, and Belle follows suit in agreement as do the other residents. Even Emma refuses to believe Regina, who causes a building tremor out of frustration, and then magically dissipates away. Unknown to everyone, aside from Leroy—who is also in on the scheme—this is a ploy Emma and Regina set up in order to make the townspeople believe the madam mayor is guilty while the two sleuth out the real criminal. ("Witch Hunt", "The Tower", "A Curious Thing")

One day, a midwife named Zelena comes into the pawnshop, mistaking her for "Mrs. Gold", and then asking for Mr. Gold himself. Belle quietly states that he died, to which Zelena gives her deepest condolences. As a customer, Zelena seeks Belle's help to pick out a baby gift for an expecting Mary Margaret. Belle happily assists and turns to search for just the right gift when she is magically frozen in place by Zelena, who grabs a plant called night root from a compartment behind a wall painting. Presumably, Belle is unfrozen and has no idea anything is amiss. ("The Tower")

Belle is alerted to the recent news about Mr. Gold's revival by Emma and is tasked with researching how he was resurrected. David and Emma go searching for Mr. Gold while Hook opts to stay behind in the pawnshop with Belle. She takes his decision warily, especially since he tried to kill her twice prior, though Hook states that he means to use this time to make it up to her. The two begin taking books off shelves when a noise erupts from pawnshop's front door. Believing Mr. Gold has come back, Belle sprints off; witnessing the door being rammed open, though the person is not her beloved, but a collapsed Neal. After taking him to the hospital, Emma snaps a photo of a triangle mark burned into Neal's palm, which Belle begins looking into it. Discovering the symbol's meaning in a book, she phones Emma to notify her that the mark originates from a key to the vault of the Dark One. Assuming Neal used it at some point, Mr. Gold was resurrected in this manner, but the catch is the Dark One will be revived while the key user will die. Emma discovers Neal is still alive due to being in Mr. Gold's body. After she magically separates them, Neal perishes. Saddened by the news, a grieving Belle is comforted by Mary Margaret. ("Quiet Minds")

In mourning, Belle attends Neal's funeral to pay her respects. Afterwards, at the diner, Zelena publicly reveals herself as Regina's half-sister and forces her sibling into a showdown on Main Street after sundown. In preparation, lest Zelena is planning something wicked, Belle, David and Tinker Bell seal off the streets. Hoping to swaying Mr. Gold to their side despite that Zelena is controlling him with the dagger, she sneaks into the farmhouse cellar to coax him out of his prison while David, Emma and Tinker Bell stand guard outside. Belle nearly succeeds until he warns her it's a trap, to which she notices Zelena has been quietly watching from the shadows. Fleeing, she stumbles out just before Mr. Gold, on Zelena's command, tells them to stay out of the way or risk death. During the evening, on Main Street, Zelena approaches while trailed by a helpless Mr. Gold. Belle witnesses Regina being thrown into the clock tower by Zelena, who later flees on her broomstick. ("It's Not Easy Being Green")

When Ariel enters the pawnshop, Belle is relieved that she is all right after not seeing her since the new curse has been in effect. She helps Ariel and Hook to search the shop for one of Eric's old belongings in the hopes of finding him. After Hook discovers Eric's cloak, Belle pours a locator potion on it. The cloak becomes enchanted and floats towards the location of its owner, to which Ariel and Hook follow along. ("The Jolly Roger")

After catching Regina sifting through items in the shop, Belle, still upset about being locked up for twenty-eight years, tells her to get lost. Regina offers an apology and asks Belle to think about Mr. Gold, who is still Zelena's hostage. Anger quelled, Belle calms down enough to admit she's been piecing together the ingredients Zelena has collected to find out what spell the witch is trying to cast. However, Belle is stumped over what is so special about Regina's heart that Zelena desperately needs it. Regina decides to find out what Zelena wants by talking to Cora, which is made possible once Belle gives her the now defunct candle to access the land of the dead. When Belle cracks Zelena's spell, she tells the others and they regroup at Regina's house where Mary Margaret was just possessed by Cora's spirit. Mary Margaret explains that her own mother, Queen Eva, caused Cora's marriage to Leopold to fall through, which resulted in Zelena being abandoned. Belle reveals the collected ingredients—David's courage, Regina's heart and Mr. Gold's brain—are items for a time spell to alter the past. Namely, Zelena desires to kill Eva so Cora would have never abandoned her first-born child. ("Bleeding Through")

Regina figures out the key to break the curse and getting everyone's memories back is to make Henry believe in magic. When Emma recalls believing in magic because of Henry's storybook, David, via a phone call, asks Belle to search for the item in pawnshop, but she does not find it. Once Regina bestows Henry with a kiss of true love, the curse breaks and everyone regains their memories from the lost year in the Enchanted Forest. ("A Curious Thing")

After Second Curse

Once the second curse is broken, Mary Margaret goes into labor at the hospital as Belle stumbles upon Zelena in the hallway. Zelena scoffs at Belle about not having learned her lesson the last time the dagger was utilized on Mr. Gold. Belligerently, Belle asserts her refusal to believe that, even though Mr. Gold desperately insists she must leave. Continuing to give Zelena a tongue-lashing over what she's put Mr. Gold through, Belle suddenly collapses, via the witch's magic, in his arms. Though Mr. Gold doesn't wish to leave his beloved, he is forced to by Zelena's will. In the aftermath, Zelena successfully makes off with the newborn as the last ingredient for her time spell, however, Regina herself defeats her sister with light magic. Regina, gaining the dagger, hands it over to Belle for safekeeping. She returns to the pawnshop where Mr. Gold is waiting for her. Once there, she relinquishes the dagger into his possession so he can be forever free of anyone's control. The only thing Belle asks of him is to not go after Zelena as she knows he is capable of being good. Due to Belle's immense trust in him, he affirms to do the same for her. As Mr. Gold hands back the dagger, he proposes to Belle, which she happily accepts by putting down the weapon and drawing him into an embrace. Without her notice, Mr. Gold switches the dagger; taking the real one while replacing a fake in the pawnshop. Unseen to Belle, he later kills Zelena; accidentally triggering magic in her pendant, which activates the time spell. ("Kansas")

Belle, unable to keep what she believes is the real dagger, tries to give it back again. Mr. Gold insists he trusts her completely and then changes the topic to their upcoming wedding. She happily informs him that her father, Moe, has given his blessing to them. During the diner celebration welcoming David and Mary Margaret's newborn son, Belle and Mr. Gold walk in as Zelena's time spell is activated. They both follow David, Regina and Robin Hood to check up on Zelena, who is now missing from the jail cell. Regina suspiciously accuses Mr. Gold of wrongdoing but he attests Belle has the dagger and wouldn't order him to harm Zelena. To prove it, David runs the security tape, which Mr. Gold secretly manipulates to give the appearance that Zelena used magic to turn herself into a statue, which shatters and melts away into powder. As a group, they agree to leave the time portal untouched, however, Emma and Hook enter through it to the past where they recreate a first meeting between Prince Charming and Snow White and then return to the present. Later, Belle witnesses David and Mary Margaret announce they are naming their son after a true hero—Neal. During the marriage ceremony, Archie acts as pastor while Belle is walked by her father to her future husband. Beginning her vows, Belle recalls losing Mr. Gold to darkness, weakness and death, but has actually spent her life finding him. He talks about being unloved and unloving since love has always given him pain, but she was the one who brought light into his life. Mr. Gold promises to never forget what he once was and what he is now. Belle believes the monster in him is gone, even though as a man he is flawed, everyone is too, which only deepens her love for him. ("Snow Drifts", "There's No Place Like Home")

Following the wedding, she encourages Mr. Gold into visiting Neal's grave site. Afterwards, Belle shows Mr. Gold a vacant mansion that she wants to use as their honeymoon suite. Inside, as she chatters on about the scenic ocean view, he magically freezes her in place and switches out the fake dagger in her purse with the real one. As he unfreezes her, Belle then leads him into a large dance hall. To have their first dance as husband and wife, Mr. Gold transforms their clothes and adds lighting and a playing gramophone as they waltz together. Later that night, an unassuming Belle is asleep when Mr. Gold takes the real dagger and uses it on a mysterious cylinder object in the house. At some point, he once again places the fake dagger into Belle's purse. ("A Tale of Two Sisters", "Rocky Road")

Returning to the shop, Belle and Mr. Gold discover it's been broken into. When the couple enter, Henry emerges and reveals he was hiding inside. As Belle walks into the back room, Henry greets her before he talks with his grandfather.[2][3]

Later, whilst working together in the pawnshop, Mr. Gold and Belle's martial bliss is interrupted by the appearance of David and Hook, who inform them that an ice magic wielder, Elsa, entrapped Emma in a cave where she is freezing to death. David explains Elsa is looking for her sister, Anna, whose pendant she found in the pawnshop. Belle fishes out a photo of the necklace, which David recognizes as belonging to a woman he once knew as Joan, whose real name must be Anna. ("White Out")

Inside the pawnshop, Belle stands by as Emma and Hook question Mr. Gold about his knowledge of Elsa. As Emma recalls, he had the urn, which Elsa was trapped within, in his vault. Mr. Gold professes he doesn't know Elsa and that items, like the urn she was trapped in, naturally fall into his possession as a collector, but the histories behind them are unknown to him. Hook counters that Mr. Gold wouldn't unless he had something to gain out of it. Owning up to his past, Mr. Gold affirms that was true once, but since losing a son and gaining a wife, he's "turned over a new leaf", which impresses Belle. In order to satisfy their skepticism, he allows Belle to command him, using the dagger, into revealing the truth. After she orders him into doing so, Mr. Gold professes that he did not know Elsa was trapped in the urn and that he doesn't know her or Anna, though it is a lie, as the dagger is a fake. Nonetheless, this declaration whittles Emma's doubts. ("Rocky Road")

One morning at the library, Belle discovers a drunken man sleeping on the floor near some book shelves. She phones Emma, who promptly arrives to apprehend the man into her custody at the sheriff's station. ("The Apprentice")

Assigned as Neal's caretaker for the day, Belle heads to the apartment where she cradles the cooing infant while sitting on Mary Margaret's bed. Nearby, at the counter, David quietly soothes Mary Margaret's worries about leaving Neal; saying that Belle is a natural with the baby and she has their emergency numbers if anything goes wrong. ("Breaking Glass")

Receiving an urgent call from Emma, Belle tracks down Mr. Gold at the pawnshop and they go to the sheriff station where David, Elsa, Henry, Hook, Mary Margaret and Regina are also gathered. Emma plays a camera recording, filmed when she was in a foster home, which reveals her then foster mother was the Snow Queen. At Henry's revelation that the Snow Queen has an ice cream truck, everyone splits up to search. David suggests Belle utilize tracking skills, but she'd rather research at the library. With hidden nervousness, she allows Elsa to come with her. Unbeknownst to Elsa, Belle once met Anna in the past and let her down. Losing hope, Elsa wonders if Anna put her in the urn, just as the Snow Queen claimed, and that her sister doesn't want to be found. Guilt-ridden, Belle excuses herself to make things right. Armed with the dagger, she commands Mr. Gold to lead her to the Snow Queen. After he does, Belle orders him onto watch duty while she goes into the Snow Queen's lair. Inside, she hopes to retrieve a Sorcerer's Hat to force the Snow Queen into revealing Anna's location. Unveiling a mirror, Belle's reflection taunts her about being a coward by having once valued a stone over Anna's life. The doppelganger nitpicks Belle into believing the dagger is fake. While in a trance, she slashes Mr. Gold's neck. Mr. Gold grabs Belle and teleports them to the pawnshop where she snaps out of it. There, she admits Anna is missing because of her and apologizes for abusing the dagger and using him. When Mr. Gold forgives her, Belle expresses remorse for keeping a secret from him as she knows he would never keep something from her. Rushing to the sheriff station, she reveals to Elsa how Anna was captured by the Snow Queen in the past. Relating knowledge about Ingrid's mirror, Belle explains it's key for casting a spell of shattered sight, which will make everyone turn on each other. ("Family Business")

Belle deciphers a spell to give Emma the opportunity to capture Ingrid. As the spell dictates, a candle must be lit with magic and then blown towards the target, which will form binds on the person's wrists. After Emma succeeds in doing so, she brings Ingrid to the station for questioning. Belle walks up to the clock tower where David, Elsa and Hook are studying a mirror previously placed by the Snow Queen. She hastily rushes over; warning the trio not to look in the reflection or it'll brainwash them. On closer examination, Belle notices it's not the same mirror she saw in the Snow Queen's lair. Realizing they have been duped, the group arrive too late to the station entrance, which has already been frozen shut by Ingrid. Storming into the pawnshop, they request Mr. Gold's assistance, and he only agrees after much imploring from Belle. Joined by Henry and Mary Margaret, everyone arrives to the station as an explosion tears open a hole in the building. A shaken Emma explains the Snow Queen got away, but she herself caused the combustion. With her powers spinning out of control, Emma then accidentally collapses a streetlight, which almost falls on Hook, but David takes the hit. Due to this, Mary Margaret reprimands Emma, but upon seeing her daughter's hurt expression, she retracts her anger. However, a shaken Emma flees and drives off in her car. ("The Snow Queen")

While everyone spends the entire night searching for Emma, Belle babysits Neal. She tells Mr. Gold about what's happening, and he secretly decides to use the situation to his advantage by attempting to trick Emma into giving up her powers to the hat. ("Smash the Mirror")

In a deal, Ingrid allows Mr. Gold to leave town with Belle and Henry once the curse is in effect. At the pawnshop, Belle reveals to Elsa and Emma that they can defeat Ingrid's curse with a hair strand from someone who has already been affected by the same spell and making a counter spell with it. Elsa suggests that she herself was sealed in the urn, by Anna, who was under Ingrid's spell, so her sister may fit the criteria. Under a magnifying glass, Belle sees mirror dust embedded in the pendant, which proves Elsa's theory. A plan is formed to gather the nuns for creation of the counter spell while Elsa and Emma use a locator spell to find Anna. With the nuns, Belle assists them at the diner when Mr. Gold arrives asking her to watch over the pawnshop. She insists on staying since the counter spell is very important, and he relents by deciding to keep her company until the business is finished. Elsa and Emma are led to a mine cave-in and are prepare to blast through to reach Anna until Belle phones David to let them know the nuns can make a counter spell with only the necklace. Elsa dupes them by handing over a pouch full of rocks and takes the real pendant to continue tracking her sister. After reaching the diner, everyone discovers the truth. Emma offers to retrieve the necklace, but Belle states that by the time she gets back, the counter spell will not be potent. Later, Belle receives word that Anna has been found and is on her way to the diner, so she leaves the remaining work to the nuns. She then departs with Mr. Gold; not knowing he is luring her away so Hook can help him absorb the nuns into the hat. They say their goodbyes outside the pawnshop, and Belle goes into the back room as he enacts a shield to protect her. ("Fall")

Under the curse, Belle's actions are not known. After the spell is undone by Ingrid, she is asleep in the pawnshop backroom as Mr. Gold watches over her. ("Shattered Sight")

After Belle awakens, her husband suggests packing for a trip to New York so they can have a proper honeymoon. While closing a suitcase, she talks to Henry about going out of Storybrooke. Puzzled, the boy informs her that remnants of Ingrid's magic will keep those who leave town from reentering. Although Belle did not know this, she assumes Mr. Gold has found a loophole around the issue. Noticing Henry is unhappy, she learns he is disappointed over the fairytale storybook and all the bad things that happen to Regina in it. She points out that it won't always be so since his mother is changing for the better. This cheers up Henry, who thanks her and endearingly calls her "Grandma", which makes Belle laugh and suggest he just refer to her by name. As Henry helps her pull out another suitcase, some stacked items fall in the process. Within the pile, Belle is shocked to see the magic gauntlet, an item used to locate one's greatest weakness, which Mr. Gold once traded to save her life. Troubled by the find, she tests the gauntlet out and it leads her to the real dagger. Witnessing Mr. Gold crushing Hook's heart, Belle orders him via the dagger to stop. She then commands him to drop the heart and unfreeze Emma and Mary Margaret. Thirdly, Belle makes him teleport both of them to the town line. There, she recalls when he traded the gauntlet for her, and her perception that this proved he had love in him. Instead, Belle recognizes he has not and will never give up power for her. He insists having power is not a bad thing, and they can have both, though Belle states she only wanted his love. Mr. Gold pleads for another chance, but she refuses. Having once said she saw the man behind the beast in him, Belle angrily declares he's just a beast now. In tears, she banishes him out of Storybrooke. ("Heroes and Villains")

During the six weeks after Mr. Gold's departure, Belle and Hook research a spell for freeing the nuns from the hat. One morning, she opens up the library as Hook meets her there after parting from Emma, who goes on sheriff duty. Once inside, Hook studies a board complied with information concerning the missing nuns, and in anger over the lack of progress, he knocks if off the wall. Belle tries assuring him that they do have a spell to release the nuns as well as the apprentice, but it'll take some time since she is consulting with outside sources to translate it. When Hook expresses guilt for imprisoning the apprentice and anger about Mr. Gold's trickery, she openly recognizes her own weakness in not seeing her husband for what he was due to being blinded by love. She believes Hook dealt with the same, except his love for Emma was used against him by Mr. Gold. Despite all the bad things her husband did, Hook asserts Mr. Gold did truly love her. Teary-eyed, Belle remarks that she hopes he found what what he was looking for. Later in the day, she receives an email from an Oxford professor, not knowing it is actually Mr. Gold, who gives her the translation, to which Regina uses the dagger to perform a ceremony on the hat. The nuns return safely, and while everyone basks in the reunion, none of them see a Chernabog being released from the hat and flying off. While the diner is bustling with activity to welcome the nuns back, the Chernabog makes itself known to the townspeople. With Emma, Hook, Mary Margaret and Regina, Belle ducks for cover behind a building as the group come up with a solution. After Emma and Regina temporarily stun the beast with their combined magic, Belle goes to look up information about the Chernabog at the library. Eventually, with knowledge from Cruella De Vil and Ursula about the Chernabog, the creature is forced across the town line and fades out of existence. ("Darkness on the Edge of Town")

Hearing of Cruella and Ursula's arrival to town, Belle prepares a transformation potion as a safety measure. Once the female duo enter into the pawnshop, she warns them not to try anything or the potion will turn them into toads. Giving congratulations to her for banishing the Dark One, they drop hints about Mr. Gold's sad circumstances in New York. As they tease her about whether she is satisfied with his suffering, Belle asserts she would never be pleased about someone else's misery. Without the brunette's notice, Ursula uses her tentacles to reach into the backroom and grab a wooden box containing Maleficent's totem. Belle then questions whether the two of them actually came to buy anything, so Cruella asks her to find something fashionable to adorn her car hood. After the women leave, Belle receives a phone from Emma about Cruella and Ursula's suspicious behavior. Checking the backroom, she finds the wooden box missing, to which David forces Cruella to pull over her car so he can search the vehicle. In the evening, as Belle is fixing one of the window displays, Mr. Gold secretly watches her from across the street with a longing gaze. When Will walks up to her inside the shop, she smiles happily before kissing him; much to Mr. Gold's shock. ("Unforgiven")

In the pawnshop, as Henry studies the storybook for clues on the author, Belle walks over carrying a snack as she inquiries about his research. The boy explains finding a page with a door, which he believes will lead to the author. She encourages him to continue investigating and then hands him the snack. While she is on a diner date with Will, Hook pulls Belle aside for a chat and tells her about Regina going undercover and finding out Cruella, Maleficent and Ursula are seeking the author to change their stories. Since the trio want Regina to steal something, he speculates they need the dagger to lure the Dark One into town and control him for the mission. Convinced that the dagger must never fall into their enemies' hands, Belle meets up with Hook to hand the weapon to him so he can hide it. Before doing so, she ominously considers the possibility that Mr. Gold is already in town. To quell her worries, Hook encourages her to order the Dark One with the dagger to face her if he is present. When her command yields nothing, Belle is relieved, however, she remains unaware Mr. Gold is already in front of her, except he is disguised as Hook. Turning the dagger over to him, she then returns to the pawnshop, where Will left a rose for her outside the door. Placing the gift in a vase, she busily admires it as Hook returns and persuades her into reciting a pirate's oath, in which neither of them must ever speak about the dagger to each other or anyone else. When questioned about her romance with Will, Belle admits the relationship is new, and she's not completely over Mr. Gold, but he makes her happy. Curiously, she wonders why he and Will are on bad terms, to which Hook states the man took something he cares about. Once he's outside the shop, Mr. Gold reverts back to himself and sadly regards Belle before leaving.

A lot more happens in between, she had a son named Gideon, things happen with him. Belle finally travels with Rumple, (her husband) and dies of old ages in the seventh season.

#once upon a time #belle french #rumplestiltskin | mr. gold #rumplestiltskin #rumbelle #disney princesses #canon roleplay #canon character #roleplay #belle x rumple #ouat #ouat rp #robert carlyle #emilie de ravin

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whimsimmortal · 4 years

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Plot Bunny

Wow, I’m alive! And posting fanfiction on tumblr, as if I have any idea what I’m doing!! Please check it out on AO3, where I am actually capable of navigating the website: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441853

Plink. Another small, innocuous sound scarcely registered past Danny’s homework-induced stupor. It could have been a stray raindrop or a kamikaze bug. He had more important things demanding his attention; namely, the book report due tomorrow. This was at least the fifth time he’d rewritten the same paragraph. Words had lost all meaning to him by this point, but he was so close to finishing.

Tip-tap. Clonk, the noise emitting from the bedroom window insisted. He glared suspiciously towards the disturbance, envisioning ethereal arrows or blob ghosts intent on breaking in. He hadn’t sensed anything ghostly nearby, but given his luck, the paranoia was usually warranted. Emitting a groan from the depths of his soul, he rose from his desk to inspect the noise. He spared a second to stretch and shake the pins and needles out of his fingers, trying to wake up. Just in case it was something serious, y'know. Tink. “Alright, jeez, I’m coming,” he muttered, pulling back his curtain.

There weren’t any ghosts, of course. That was somewhat of a relief, even if going down swinging was preferable to succumbing to a failing high school education. The early sunset gleamed amber off the windows across the street, and the sky was clear, except for— chink— the pebbles bouncing off his window. A lone kid was standing on the sidewalk below, no older than eight or nine. He looked vaguely familiar. He was pulling his arm back to throw more stones and bawling his eyes out.

Danny yanked open the window, sliding up the screen to fully stick his head out. His core vibrated, unsettled. There wasn’t any obvious danger, and the kid didn’t look hurt. Where were his parents? Why was he here? “Hey! What’s wrong, buddy? Are you okay?”

“You, you, you,” the kid tried to start, but great hiccupping sobs interrupted him. He scrubbed his face with his fists, obviously trying to regain his composure. “You’ve gotta send the ghost hero out!”

Danny jerked back, unintentionally smacking the back of his skull on the underside of the window. Well, now he was awake. What? “Uh, a ghost? Here? No, there isn’t—I can’t—what are you talking about?”

The boy was right up against the side of the house now, sniffling loudly and staring straight up at Danny with wide, sad eyes. “Please?” He whined, winding his hands up in the fabric of his sweater nervously.

Well, now he was stuck. Some random kid was going to out his whole identity, but the urge to help was almost overwhelming. “I can’t—there can’t be any ghosts here, but give me a second and I can just come down?” He offered. “Do you want me to find your parents?”

“Noooo!” The kid wailed and stomped his foot, banging on the wall with his tiny fists. “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the superman ghost go in there! Let him out! I need him!!”

Oh, crap, someone was going to hear. This kid’s parents were going to freak out, or his own parents were going to notice, and what if they took that kind of claim seriously? Shoot. Literally. He chuckled nervously. “Hey, hey, shhh, okay! You win! I’ll, uh, summon him, or something! But you have to be quiet, or you’ll, y’know, scare him off.” The child nodded solemnly, wiping his nose on the back of his sleeve and stifling his sobs.

Danny ducked back behind the curtain, gracelessly crumpling to sit with his back against the wall. He ran his hands through his hair. He’d been seen? When? He’d tried so hard to be careful, and use invisibility whenever he was close to the house. Maybe he’d gotten lazy. Maybe, sometimes, he let the promise of sleep take priority over precautions. Stupid. He smacked the palm of his hand into his forehead, frustrated. How long had this kid known? Who else had he told? He couldn’t just scare him into silence, he was too little. That was just messed up, he’d give him nightmares or something.

He wasn’t going to figure anything out by sitting here moping. He triggered the transformation, the familiar prickling electric feeling swiftly replaced by the soothing cold. He turned to peek over the edge of the window, checking for anyone else around. It was still just the same kid, kicking at a pebble on the concrete while he waited.

He floated down slowly, not wanting to startle his impromptu visitor, who turned and saw him as he touched down. The little guy gasped, forgotten tears slipping away from unblinking eyes.

“Hi there,” Danny prompted gently. “Were you looking for me?”

The kid kept ogling, mesmerized, and a few seconds passed by before he could shake himself out of it. “Wow, you’re the real superhero guy,” he whispered reverently.

Oh. That was pretty cute, actually. He couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, that’s me. You can call me Phantom,” he offered.

“I’m Wyatt,” the kid mumbled, covering his damp cheeks with his hands shyly. He tipped his head down, still staring through his eyelashes.

A neighbor’s front door opened down the street, and Danny swiftly disappeared. Wyatt startled, blindly swinging his hands back and forth through the seemingly-empty space. “Wait! Come back!” He recoiled with a yelp when his blundering reach made contact with the specter.

“It's okay, I’m right here,” he reassured the kid. “But we can’t let people know I’m here, okay? They’ll—um. I’ll get in trouble.”

Wyatt squinted, reaching forward again. Danny offered his hand, and the little fingers gripped his glove tightly. He looked like he was offering the empty air a fist bump. “Right,” the kid agreed earnestly.

“Seriously,” Danny pressed. “You can’t tell anyone that I li-” he bit his tongue. Don’t say ‘live’. That’s so dumb. “Uh. Hang out here sometimes. Not even your friends, okay? Promise?”

Wyatt’s little dark eyebrows drew together, and despite his trembling chin and small stature, he looked profoundly serious. He shook the hand. “I promise.”

Well, that would have to do for now. “Thanks. Uh, what did you need me for?”

The kid’s eyes immediately started to well up again, but he squeezed Danny’s fingers and pressed his lips to put on a brave face. “C’mon, Phantom, you’ve gotta-” he sniffed. “You gotta save Fuzzy,” he warbled, turning and pulling. The ghost floated behind like a balloon on a string as the pair stepped down from the curb, heading across the street.

Oh, man, if this was about a dead pet, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. That was closer to Jazz’s expertise. He swallowed his mounting dread. “Who’s Fuzzy?”

Wyatt’s face scrunched up. “He’s my bunny,” he explained, looking away. “I was just tryin’ to show ‘im to Audrey, and—and then,” he sobbed. “He went under the house! And he’s gonna get lost and stuck, and I’m-, never-, gonna see him ever again!” He let go, burying his face in his hands and howling.

Danny rested a hand lightly on Wyatt’s little shoulder, throat tight. He’d never had a pet like that, but he could understand the fear of losing loved ones a little too well, and empathy always felt more forceful when he was in ghost form. Probably something related to ectoplasm being shaped by residual emotional energy, blah blah ecto-science theory. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”

The unusual duo walked two more houses down the block and cut through a side yard to a modest backyard, strewn with outdoor toys and an overturned wire fence—likey an outdoor pen for Fuzzy. An even younger girl sat on the paved patio, chewing on the end of her braid. She leaped up as they drew close. “Wyatt! I told my dad about Fuzzbutt, and he’ll call the—um, animal people. But they’re not here yet. Did you find him?”

Wyatt glanced a little to Danny’s left with a guilty expression. Well, crap, so much for his secret. He bit his lip, trying to keep his cool. First things first. A cursory scan of the area didn’t show anyone else in the immediate vicinity, so he faded back into visibility. The little girl—‘Audrey’, he guessed—gave a muffled shriek. “Ghost man!”

“Hush,” Wyatt scolded, voice quavering. “He’s a secret.”

“Oh,” Audrey whispered back. “Hello, mister normal guy man. I think you’re cool.” She beamed up at him.

“Hello, small ordinary human,” Danny quipped, and Audrey giggled delightedly. Wyatt dropped to his hands and knees, crawling up to the house, where a gap between the foundation and dirt was evident. The other two peeked over his shoulder, but there wasn’t any bunny visible past the darkness.

“Fuzzy,” Wyatt choked out. “Hang in there, we’re gonna rescue you!”

Danny turned intangible, letting his molecules seep down through the dirt past the level of his nose. He drifted close to the base of the house, juicing up the glow from his eyes. “Just wait here, okay?” Two grim, round little faces nodded back, and with that minor assurance, he delved beneath the house.

The weight of the floor above loomed. It was claustrophobic, like being buried… well, half-alive. The musty, dank mildew smell was gross, even though he wasn’t breathing. He could taste it. “Here, bunny, bunny,” he muttered. Please don’t be hurt.

A tiny pair of eyes reflected green through the gloom. The little ball of fluff was backed into a corner, and it snorted like a tiny angry bull, stomping its feet. Danny hadn’t even known rabbits could make that sound. It probably didn’t like his creeping, unnatural aura, like most rational animals. “Shhh,” he cooed, reaching for the tiny, grubby ball of fluff and dimming his glow. “I’m not gonna hurt ya.”

Fuzzbutt wasn’t convinced. In a courageous move, it darted through Danny’s forehead, wedging itself under a crooked board and squealing. Danny reached easily through the plank and wrapped his hands around the unhappy creature, sharing his intangibility. It writhed and fussed, trying to bite through his gloves. “Stop that!” He clutched it close to his chest; if he dropped it here, the stubborn thing really would be stuck. He swooped back out into the backyard, startling the anxiously waiting kids.

Audrey shrieked and tipped over. Wyatt recovered first, leaping to his Velcro-sneakered feet expectantly. “Is he okay?”

Danny recovered a more solid form, holding up the wiggling rabbit. Wyatt gasped, fresh tears glittering on his eyelashes. He reached out for the beloved pet, unable to contain his joy at the reunion. “Fuzzy! You’re okay! I love you, Fuzzy!”

“Let’s go inside first, so he doesn’t get away again?” Danny suggested. The last thing anyone needed was an instant replay. Audrey darted to open the back door, and Wyatt led the way inside. He sat on the wooden floor with open arms, and as soon as the door was firmly shut again, Danny deposited the squirming animal into his lap. Fuzzy looked marginally more content to receive numerous sloppy kisses from his adoring owner. He was actually a pretty cute little guy, black and white like a panda.

Even footsteps padded around the corner. “Wyatt, baby? Did you find-” the woman’s question cut off abruptly as she noticed the glowing stranger in her living room.

Crud. At this rate, the whole block was going to find him out before the week was up. He edged back a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, I was just, um,” darn it, wrong persona. He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. “Doing my heroic duty, ma’am,” he finished in a falsely deep voice.

Audrey giggled (he didn’t sound that bad!), and the woman smiled nervously. Wyatt hopped to his feet, still cradling his bunny. “Mama! Look, he saved Fuzzy! I’m gonna rename him Fuzzy Phantom,” he declared.

Mama Wyatt dutifully stroked the bunny’s dusty ears. “Fuzzy Phantom needs a bath,” she commented, before looking back up to meet Danny’s eyes. She held out her clean hand, and it took him a second to recognize the offered handshake. He started to reach back, thought twice about his messy glove, and hastily peeled it off to shake her hand. Her fingers were delicate, but they didn’t falter at the chill. “You look taller on the TV,” she joked lightly. “It’s nice to meet you. Phantom, right?”

He nodded. “Uh, it was nice to meet you, too, Ms.-?”

“Sylvie Rosales,” she supplemented. Audrey snuck around her to flounce deeper into the house, taking the adult’s distraction as an invitation, and Wyatt started to follow her, but hesitated. He snuck a hand out around Fuzzy to tug on Danny’s arm, so he leaned down accommodatingly.

Wyatt stood on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Can I come see you sometimes?”

Oh, heck, no. That would be truly asking for disaster. “No,” he quickly replied, but before Wyatt’s pout could evolve into a true objection, he added, “but if you really don’t tell anyone how to find me, I could drop by sometimes.” He looked towards Ms. Rosales. “If that’s okay?”

Wyatt looked over to his mom pleadingly, stars in his eyes. What have I gotten myself into, Danny wondered, but he couldn’t help feeling charmed. Ms. Rosales looked like she was thinking along the same lines, with her thin-lipped smile and folded arms. “As long as you don’t cause any trouble,” she hedged.

“Thank you!!” Wyatt hugged Danny spontaneously, smushing his face into his shoulder. Fuzzy grunted his objection.

Danny ruffled the kid’s mop of hair. “I should get going. Take care of Fuzzy,” he grinned, pulling away. “And stay safe,” he added in his false baritone with a mock salute.

“You, too,” he heard Ms. Rosales call after him as he phased through the wall. He looped above the street once cheerfully before disappearing to sneak back home. He’d left his window open; rose-tinted light and a handful of moths had spilled onto his bedroom floor. This time, he didn’t reappear or turn back until he’d stealthily drawn the window and curtains closed.

He still had an hour or so to plug into his homework. He hummed as he started back in on the paragraph he’d been stuck on. It didn’t seem as daunting now, even with the lost time and near reveal. He’d have to keep an eye on his nosy little neighbor, but in the end, maybe it was the moments like today that made the whole gig worth it.

#Whimsi writes #Whimsi forgot how she wrote her tags #Danny Phantom #fanfiction #fluff #cute #wholesome #drabble #plot bunny

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 212 prt 2 (end)

Nope. They may not have had a birth plan, but Lance was clear about “not pooping out a baby”! Keith snapping at Coran

“He’s not supposed to be!”

Coran snapping back at him

“Yes, I know he’s not supposed to be and yet here we are. Lance...”

Lance just wanted it to be over, begging Keith in stumbled words

“I want to push... please let me push...”

“Can his body take it?”

“I...”

“Coran, can his body take it?!”

“I’m not entirely sure... The anus is not designed for birth. The muscle structure is completed wrong and there would be significant damage to the area... but Lance is a vampire... and he is a breeder. The area is softer and has begun to adapt...”

Lance’s arse did lots of wonderful things that made having sex with him much easier than when it was the other way around... Keith was all for the c-section. It was safer for Lance and the twins and something had to be wrong with the amount of blood Lance had lost. Both of them lost to Lance’s instincts. Bearing down his lover growled through another contraction, his “scary face” coming across his features as he slumped back tiredly

“We’ll need another two bags of A positive blood. Lance, you stubborn fool, I will never forgive you if this goes wrong. I want you to let your contractions build for me, then I want you to push with all your might on the next big one. Keith, keep him conscious. Even with drugs I fear he’s going to feel this”

Lance seemed to regret all his life choices with the cry he gave as he pushed longer and harder than the previous times, Keith’s legs firmly squeezed together as he tried not think about what was going on below the sheet. His vampire may have only sat up a little as he bore down, yet for Lance he might have well been bending himself in half

“And stop... stop... let them build again. One more big push to get those shoulders out and they’ll be here...”

The look Lance shot Coran spoke volumes on how he wished the fae would shut up, Keith braver than Coran as he tried to calm Lance back down

“Hear that, baby. You can do this. My good mate. One more big push and we get to meet our first little baby”

Lance went to glare at him too, but his expression soon turned soft as their eyes met

“You can do this. We all know you can do just about anything you put your mind to”

“They... never warn you about the pressure... makes the contractions the easy bit”

Keith would take Lance’s words for it. All he had in comparison were memories of bleeding arse from taking a huge dumb. Somehow he didn’t think the two compared

“Okay, babe. Remember, the next push is the big one”

Lance was crying just as hard as Keith was as their baby girl was delivered. Reaching for her, Coran placed her against Lance’s chest, using a soft cloth to clean her goopy face. Keith had thought Lance was truly the most beautiful thing he’d seen in his life, but his little girl took his breath away

“Keith...”

Lance’s face shone with pride and wonder as he stared at their daughter

“She’s perfect...”

“She’s so red... is she meant to be red?”

“Never mind, number two. As the blood flows through her body and she takes her first breaths, her colour will start to even out”

“But she’s so red”

A tiny slimy red hand lay on Lance’s chest. Her fingers were itty bitty, Keith repeating himself again

“She’s so red”

Tiredly Lance moved his hand to rest on her back, his mate had done so good. With an exhausted chuckle, Lance put him in his place

“We’ve already got Blue, you can’t name her Red”

If ever there was a time for dramatics, this was it. Placing his finger in their daughter’s hand, she gave a small cry. Instantly he knew he’d die for her. She was so beyond everything he thought he’d feel

“Nurse, if you’d be so kind, she needs to be cleaned... and you two, we’ve got another baby to deliver”

Twenty minutes after their daughter, their son arrived. Unlike his sister who was polite enough to wait a few moments, he was barely in the world before he let out his first cry. Keith finding himself unsure what to do now they had two. Lance wanted to see their daughter, the nurse bringing her over, swaddled up, just before the final push. With her eyes closed, she looked so much like Lance, except she already had the tell tale wisps of his black hair. As their son was laid on Lance’s chest, Lance let out a sleepy yawn, back to smiling again as Keith moved his hand to help Lance hold their baby boy. Both of them were so tiny. Every month of development didn’t feel possible when they looked so damn tiny.

Out of it on medication, Lance didn’t want to let their son go to the nurse for cleaning. Keith didn’t want anyone other than them touching their twins, but he firmly squashed his ego down as they had to make sure both babies were okay, while Coran dealt with things between Lance’s legs. Distracting his fiancé with their daughter, the werewolf sat himself on the side of the bed, pulling down the blanket enough for Lance to see her face. No words came close to his happiness. Peppering kisses to Lance’s sweat soaked hair, he couldn’t stop looking at their daughter

“She looks just like you”

“She’s got her daddy’s hair... Keith... she’s perfect”

“Just like you. I’m so fucking proud of you”

“Don’t swear in front of the babies... we’re finally parents”

“Yes you are! That was very dangerous and Lance will need time to recover properly. But congratulations to you both”

Having a few more moments staring at their daughter, Lance all but snatched their son from the nurse as he was brought over. His tiny little hand gripping the blanket, with the grumpiest look on his face. Lance was all smiles once he had their boy cradled to his chest, chuckling as he poked their sons hand with his finger

“Oh dear. He’s got your personality”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grumpier baby”

Keith frowned, probably making the same expression as their son

“He’s perfect”

He’d been as red as his sister... now swaddled up, he looked as angelic as her... maybe like a grumpy angel instead of a sleepy on. Again, not to be dramatic, but they had his heart wrapped around their tiny little fingers. He was a goddamn apex predator... who couldn’t stop crying because their twins were the most perfect being imaginable. He couldn’t get over how red and chubby babies were... or how he and Lance had managed to make two such perfect little lives.

“Now for the important bit, do you two have any names picked out for our little ones? Coran is a fine name”

The “important bit” to Keith was that Lance would be okay. He’d feel more reassured about it all, if he hadn’t seen what Coran had removed between his fiancé’s legs

“Will Lance be okay?”

Coran opened his mouth as if he was going to make a joke, then reconsidered. Lance was too distracted by their son to be listening to the fae

“He may take some time to heal. He may also experience some agitation from his ego. You have to realise he is exceptionally vulnerable right now. I’m quite sure if he to be separated from the twins for any length of time, he’d go quite crazy to find them. Birth is extremely hard on the body. He may partially transform, or he may experience accelerated healing. Nothing to worry about, he’ll be in tip top shape before you head back home”

Apparently he’d been too distracted by Coran, Lance whining softly

“Keith, no more questions... look at our babies”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off them for longer than split second

“I’m sorry, baby. I had to know you’ll be okay”

“I’m tired... but they’re... so perfect... so red”

“Yet when I said that, I got in trouble”

“I did the hard work”

“You did. You gave us a scare there”

“Had to push... the pressure was too much... look at him. He looks like more like me... with your expression”

Their son’s lips were all Lance. The frown on his face really did seem to come from him genetically. Hopefully he hadn’t inherited his lead foot. He’d have made Krolia proud with his driving

“He’s perfect... you’re perfect. I don’t... babe...”

His English failed. He loved their twins. He loved Lance. He loved their twins. Lance got it. He got how overwhelmed Keith was because they both were

“Shh... it’s okay. Coran, can we be alone?”

“I... uh, yes. Yes, I suppose I can give you a few moments while I fetch some fresh blood bags. Keith, please ensure he remains awake”

Blood still clung in the air as Keith sat beside Lance. Only Lance would try to move over and make space so shortly after giving birth

“Babe?”

Sighing softly, Keith turned his attention from their daughter back to Lance

“Sorry. I’m...”

Lance sniffled as he nodded

“Me too... I didn’t know it’d feel like this”

“I didn’t either...”

“Do we have... names?”

Keith had a name in mind. He’d had a name in mind of a while now. He’d had a name in mind since certain things stuck out, or failed to stick out, on Lance’s ultrasounds

“Miriam...”

His fiancé’s lip wobbled, Keith trying for bad humour. There’d only been one Miriam that had meant the world to both of them...

“You won’t let me call her “Red””

“If she’s got your fiery spirit, that’s a perfectly good nickname... but... I didn’t think you’d say... Mami’s name...”

“Do you not like it?”

“I... can’t believe you thought of her...”

“Hey, we don’t have to...”

Lance shook his head, their son scrunching up his face a stray tear dropped on cheek

“It’s not that. I... like Laith for a boy, but I... I’m not making sense”

Keith peered at his son. Was he a Laith? What did Laith even mean? It sounded like a tool used in construction

“Laith?”

“It means Lion... our little lion cub...”

Their son did look like he could let out a roar at any moment, or an unhappy scream to let the world know he was there

“You know, I kind of see it... it’s better than Yorak”

Lance snorted, he tried to bring his hand up to wipe his face, yet lacked the strength. Keith using his hoodie sleeve to wipe Lance’s nose for him, forgetting momentarily to be scared of dropping the baby

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what your mum was thinking”

Keith rolled his eyes, heavy on the sass

“Does anyone ever? He’s definitely not a Lenny...”

Sighing at him, he knew he had to get over his dislike of Lenny eventually. The joke had work thin

“Forget about Lenny... Charlotte? It means hurt, and my butt hurts from pushing”

“We’re not naming our daughter Charlotte Miriam because your butt hurt”

“Badum-tss”

Why did he adore this idiot? He’d walked right into that one

“You should feel bad”

“Oh, babe. I feel totally bad... I’m so tired but I don’t think I can ever take my eyes off them”

“We don’t have to name them now...”

“Mmm, but you heard Coran, I don’t know how long I’ll sleep... I wanna know their names...”

Keith had a thought

“What about Laith Hunter Kogane-McClain? I... was a hunter when I met you...”

Lance hummed, their grumpy boy not giving away how he felt about his name

“What about Laith Hunter Kogane? There’s enough McClains out there... and some day soon it’ll be my last name too”

Fuck it. He was already crying, he wasn’t crying harder because he loved Lance so damn much

“So we have our little lion hunter... and our Red Princess Miriam”

“Oh, so she’s a princess now?”

“She’s our princess...”

“I think Blue will have something to say about that... She’s so cute... I’d... I’d like Miriam... as her middle name, if that’s okay. Mami... Mami would have... would have loved them”

Krolia would be out there waiting for him, but Mami wouldn’t be there. This wasn’t fair

“Oh, baby. She would have been so proud. I’m so proud...”

“I’m sorry... I... feel so emotional right now”

“I feel the same way... you know, “Crimson” and “Scarlet” are both perfectly acceptable names”

Once again his bad humour brought a smile back to Lance’s lips

“You can call her Red all you like, once we find the right name... Lancella?”

“Lancella with photographer for a boyfriend? I think not. What do you think when you look at her”

“Well... to me... to me I think “Lena”, but I named Laith”

Lena Miriam Kogane and Laith Hunter Kogane... Yeah. Yeah... That felt right...

Two hours later, Lance had been moved to another room. Their twins sleeping as Keith finally drew himself together enough to face their friends. Carrying the bundle in his arm carefully, Keith opened the door to their room. Coran had been out to reassure everyone, Lance had been through a couple of bags of blood, showing signs of healing before he passed out. Keeping his voice low, he didn’t want to wake up the sleeping bundle suckling on his finger

“Hey, guys”

Krolia, Curtis and Shiro, were sitting on the few chairs in the hall, the others sitting on the floor, both sides of the corridor. Fuck, Keith’s ego was way beyond massive with his pride. Certificates of birth had been signed, Coran knew how to register the birth and all those details.

“Keith... is that... are they okay?”

Hunk tripped over his words as he hurried to his feet, Keith beaming with pride

“The three of them are okay. Lance lost a fair bit of blood, but he’ll be okay. Coran said it might take a bit for him to recover once he fell asleep. I know we kept you guys waiting, but he fought falling asleep until he couldn’t fight it any longer”

“And?!”

Pidge couldn’t contain herself usually, this time it was Allura demanding to know. Yeah. He’d hit one hundred percent smug arsehole about his family. Coran pleasantly surprised after taking the measurements, saying “they were ready to walk out”

“Laith Hunter Kogane, and Lena Miriam Kogane. Lena was born first at 2:12pm, April 30th, 51 and 6 pound 1 something. She’s for wispy black hair and the bluest eyes. Laith kept Lance exhausted for an extra 20 minutes, 53cm , 7 pound 2 whatever it is. He’s got the grumpiest little expressions, and like his sister, he’s got my black hair and Lance’s blue eyes. Lance didn’t want to hyphenate our last names because he plans on taking “Kogane” soon”

Pidge let out a squeal, before clamping her hand over her mouth so as not to wake his sleeping baby

“Congrats, baby brother... and congrats on the engagement”

Now seemed as good as any time to come clean

“Actually, we’ve been engaged for a few weeks now”

Matt spluttered

“But at the party...”

“It’s true the box was empty. We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while... I don’t think any of expected today to be the day he went into labour. Coran said the general sickness was a sign leading up to labour, so was the stomach cramping Lance didn’t tell me about, he thought it was Braxton-Hicks being annoying again”

Krolia stepped forward

“Can I...?”

“You guys can come in... but this baby boy is staying in my arms”

Shiro seemed to hesitate, before asking, Keith trying to keep his face as neutral as he could at the coming question

“Can we see?”

Lowering the side of the blanket, Lance had his teeth in Keith’s finger, suckling down his blood. His fiancé had shifted back into a bat shortly after falling asleep. Keith had forgotten how absolutely adorable lance was as a bat. Coran seemed to think it was his body’s natural reaction to all the stress and exhaustion of birth. None of them found it funny, Krolia looked ready to hit him

“You could have told us...”

“Lance is baby. He’s feeding on my finger seeing he was a bit uneasy when he fell asleep and we couldn’t get an IV line in... anyway, come on in. Just don’t make any sudden moves. My ego’s pretty much out of control right now”

His ego being out of control meant nothing as Keith was drawn into a tight hug from his brother. The hug was everything he’d needed that morning when he’d been on the phone

“I’m so happy for you”

“I’m pretty happy for me too... Don’t forget, you and Curtis are the godfathers. You’ll have to give up being lame, you’re both going to have a huge responsibility on your hands”

“We won’t let you down... God, Keith. I’m so proud of you. Adam would be so proud of you, too”

“Thanks, Shiro. I know Lance would thank you too... Fuck, this has been a roller coaster”

“And I’m sure the journeys just begun. Now, I want to meet my niece and nephew”

“I have to warn you, they’re pretty incredible”

“I don’t doubt that for a moment”

Lance remained a bat for the following two days. He felt as if he’d been run over repeatedly when he finally came back to his senses. The happiness he felt when he held his twins... he’d truly never felt anything like it. He didn’t know if it was normal to love someone so instantaneously, but his dramatic arse would die for the pair in a heartbeat. Laith had all of Keith’s expressions down pact. He’d taken to feeding like a champion, unlike his sister who wasn’t too sure at first. Yeah, Lance had balled his eyes out over how precious they were. Their grumpy little boy screaming the first time he had his photo taken by Krolia, who had the flash on on her phone. Shiro had given Keith his camera, Keith making sure to get plenty of photos during the time he missed. He knew he’d never get that time back, but because his body had forced him to rest and heal, he felt like a better father for it... plus, he had the memories of their birth, and the precious first cuddles and hours of their lives.

After a week of rest, they were finally released to go home. There was nothing wrong with their twins, he and Keith hadn’t wanted to be apart and Lance couldn’t go home until Coran was sure he’d okay. A small neat gold diamond ring now on his ring finger, Keith deciding the right time to pull it out was just after Lena had thrown up on his chest. Lance knew that “being a diva couldn’t be genetically inherited” but he saw so much of himself in her. Romance would forever be Keith’s middle name, after slipping in the ring on his finger than awkwardly stuttering out “I got you a ring”. Keith was very lucky Coran had sorted things out with the police, or their “second engagement” might have been a bit awkward had the police pulled him over and arrested him for doing a runner. There was nothing Coran couldn’t fix, including his broken arse, though that had needed stitches to help along the healing and next time they decided to do this, he was definitely booking into VOLTRON a month early.

13 months, nearly to the day, his house was invaded again by two “strangers”. One a dark haired beauty, the other a little brother, grumpy at the world but secretly loving cuddles. Two strangers that would turn his life upside down again... and he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was time for a whole new adventure as their journey continued... doubly so when Keith finally went back to work, learning that it was okay that he was werewolf that preferred to be human outside of the moon. Neither of them asked for the monsters beneath their skin, but together, they made a damn good team, even if Lance did say so himself.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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ghost-band-aids · 5 years

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Interview with GHOST and TRIBULATION

The Undisguised Truth

TOBIAS FORGE and JONATHAN HULTÉN have a lot in common. While one of them currently slips into the role of the exalted charmer Cardinal Copia as the singer of GHOST, the introverted TRIBULATION guitarist on stage transforms into a fascinating, expressive being who exists beyond genre and gender boundaries. What is real, what is an artificial figure? METAL HAMMER met both of them during their tour together for a conversation that allows far more than just a look behind the scenes of two of the most popular metal bands at the moment, but also unexpectedly intimate insights.

Tobias, originally you didn't want to be the singer of Ghost. Did the mask help you to come to terms with this exposed role?

Tobias Forge: Yes, well, at least from today's point of view. But I never wanted to be unknown.

What function does your stage make-up have, Jonathan?

Jonathan Hultén: It helps me to put myself in a certain mood. The idea behind it is to isolate and reinforce a fraction of myself, an aspect of my personality. To immerse myself in this is an experience beyond the everyday state of mind.

Strengthen also Cardinal Copia or Papa Emeritus facets of your personality, Tobias?

Tobias Forge: I'm not shy, but I'm not as sociable as Cardinal Copia - and also not a "physical clown" like him. What I do is a kind of mixed bag. I imitate people I find funny or interesting.

Basically, the way actors do it. If you asked Robert DeNiro how he came up with the young Don Corieone, he would probably say: Well, there was this guy in my old neighborhood... The costume gives you the opportunity to completely surrender yourself in that moment and just be that new person. That's interesting, because you only reveal it to a few people for a limited time. You don't have to see how that person lives the other 22 hours of the day. Like with actors: James Bond is cool because you only see certain sides of him. Never in the bathroom or shower. Well, not in the toilet, in the shower. But always in the company of a snake or something he kills.

How long does the transformation take?

Tobias Forge: But you finished much sooner than I did.

Jonathan Hultén: For pragmatic reasons. I like to get it done as soon as possible so as not to get in a bind later. How about you?

Tobias Forge: We have a very tight schedule. Pretty much exactly one hour before the show starts I walk in the door as Tobias and come out as someone else.

What does this transformation do to you?

Jonathan Hultén: You have to enter a stage with emphasis. So it's good to be prepared.

Tobias Forge: And that's what happens within this hour. You slowly start to move differently... I love being a different person for two hours and then changing back. But I need some time for that, usually I stay alone for an hour after the show.

Jonathan Hultén: That's good. As far as I can, I try to do the same. Mostly by doing something that I can be introspective about... ...carry things back and forth or something.

Tobias Forge: I think that's very important. There is potential suffering in art, especially in mental health. The smaller the discrepancy between yourself and the person you are portraying on stage, the harder it is to deal with. If you are merely associated with your stage character, people expect you to behave like that in real life.

And that can be problematic...

Tobias Forge: Exactly, because they created this super human being who can do anything, who has a carte blanche. Everyone applauds, everyone laughs, and everything you do is funny or cool. And if you take it to the bar afterwards... There are bad examples of people who can't get down in normal life, become alcoholics or, well, die.

Jonathan Hultén: Sure, all that can be destructive. But in my case it was very helpful to discover my more explosive, extroverted sides. And to dare to give them more space, because privately I am quite shy. That's also part of the process of building up, which takes a long time.

I gradually gain self-confidence from this, so that I can now express myself better in everyday situations.

Tobias Forge: I think they are one and the same. It's like mental martial arts, where the person who doesn't like the fight, but still has to face it - within the limits of the dojo, of course, so as not to hurt anyone. And, yes, art is basically good for anyone who has the desire to become someone else. It's a generalization, but I think there's a lot of truth in it: many artists choose this path because they weren't very popular at school. Or they can't come out of themselves, but their art offers them an opportunity to do so. It's fun to go on stage, to transform and feed off the energy or admiration.

How you interact with the audience has changed over the years.

Tobias Forge: Sure. The masked person has an advantage of about 70 concerts, so 1,000 hours on stage. If I had given myself the same amount of time to develop without the make-up, without the role, just with acoustic guitar, I might have created a completely different stage personality. But this is completely uninteresting for me, because I prefer this super character! (laughs)

Jonathan Hultén: transformation would then no longer be so dramatic, but much more subtle.

Tobias Forge: And you'd have to be comfortable in your own skin.

Jonathan Hultén: I'm working on it. (laughs)

Jonathan, your solo debut, CHANTS FROM ANOTHER PLACE, will be released soon and you will also be touring with Chelsea Wolfe. Will you be different on stage there than you are here with Tribulation?

Jonathan Hultén: It has become harder to separate the two. They are like different shades of the same color. And I've found that they both borrow a lot from each other. The tribulation performer exists much longer, so he has much more experience. He/she is like an archaeologist who explores an inner wildness and passion. Over the years a lot of weird stuff has been dug up and included.

On the other hand, the solo performer, who has only been around for about three yen and is still is at the beginning of the excavations. However, I expect that also here many interesting things will appear

What can we expect from you live?

Jonathan Hultén: Just like with Tribulation, the atmosphere will be very important. But apart from some dramatic excursions, the show will be mostly silent and contemplative. The silence gives more room for more complex emotions to unfold in a way that I miss in the energetic performances of Tribulation.

These in turn defy the unwritten rules of a traditional metal show, not least thanks to you. Tribulation are considered a death metal band...

Tobias Forge: I wouldn’t call you guys like that.

Do you see yourselves as pioneers? Do you enjoy being different?

Jonathan Hultén: I stopped thinking about whether people see me as stupid, weird or whatever. It's the only way I can do it. Headbanging just wasn't enough. I felt there had to be something bigger, some kind of ectase. This may be weird, but it feels good.

How important are grace and style to you?

Jonathan Hultén: Both are important, but it's equally important not to be obsessively attached to them. Someone once said that grace is a combination of spontaneity and control. It's a good rule of thumb - on and off stage. It's always about balance. Every situation is unique and requires a unique approach.

Tobias Forge: You should be really proud of it, apart from the fact that your music is great. Your performance is dramatically different from any other. Besides the music, your physical attributes and the way you present yourself make you a very unique and interesting person. Strange, cash, different. You should definitely pursue that. Yes, I think you should see yourself as a pioneer.

Jonathan Hultén: Mm, thank you. (chuckles)

What does that do to your audience?

Tobias Forge: If you are a live musician, have an antenna for it and you don't completely care, you always enter a symbiosis with the fans. Give and take, almost like in a physical relationship. You will try to perfect ways to give pleasure to each other. I know it sounds weird, but every decent relationship changes with age. You grow together, you have new needs or ideas. That's why some couples bring in other people, or whips or plugs. It's the same with you and the audience. During our second show I noticed that our audience is very positive, but I couldn't make a rhyme out of it.

Why that?

Tobias Forge: The room was filled with Hard Rock people, the kind of people I've been playing to since I was a teenager. But they weren't headbanging as usual. Instead they did something else.

Jonathan Hultén: Wiggle.

Tobias Forge: Yeah, they were wiggling around. (laughs) And singing and laughing, very different from what I knew from Death or Black Metal shows.

Are there any other special features of your fans?

Tobias Forge: When we played the first headliner shows in America, I noticed for the first time the gender diversity in our audience. Our fans are a lot of girls, a lot of guys, and a lot in between. We've always been a magnet for people who are unhappy with their gender or don't feel they belong anywhere: Kids, many outsiders and outcasts in various fragile states.

Jonathan, Tobias' words seem to resonate with you.

Jonathan Hultén: Yes, they do. I don't speak for tribulation as a whole when I say this, but I personally don't feel I belong to either gender. But I've never felt the need to choose either. Androgyny is what I feel most comfortable with. This tendency probably also applies to performance, whether tribulation or solo.

Tobias Forge: The best portrayal of the devil I've ever seen is from the movie 'The Passion of Christ'. Satan is portrayed by a woman, but speaks in a man's voice and thus becomes the epitome of androgyny, completely genderless. For incorporating this aspect into your stage personality, I give credit to you and the band. Especially when you get together with Adam (Zaars, guitarist of Tribulation) on stage, it seems elfish and feminine, but also masculine. This is incredibly interesting and unusual, especially in the rigid heavy metal genre with this "men are men" and "women are women" thing: Doro Pesch, girl, Manowar, guys, great. But when I think of all the metal bands I like, there are also examples of very attractive androgyny, which is not necessarily sexual. Not to mention seventies rock bands.

You have been confronted with different kinds of music and art forms from a very young age. Does that give you an artistic advantage?

Jonathan Hultén: It helps me to keep my relationship to art fresh, to get excited. Whether in childhood or in adulthood: open-mindedness helps the creative process. If you're not afraid of opening up to all kinds of different music styles, you can find inspiration in the most surprising places. No matter where the idea comes from - the important thing is whether it works. Certainly, this is reflected in all areas of creative work. Become the medium through which the flow of inspiration flows - then collect the gold pieces that this flow carries with it and create something beautiful out of them.

Does the metal context limit your expressiveness?

Tobias Forge: I don' t feel restricted with Ghost at all. There are only a few ideas I can' t realize with the band, because Ghost is a combination of all the things I like about music, cinema and theatre. But if there is enough time in the future, I would love to be in a completely different band where I am not the center of attention. I am a guitarist and would like to sing backup. That corresponds to me much more.

Jonathan Hultén: I'm exploring something new, and it's been quite interesting - and different. There are endless possibilities to discover yourself, artistically and as an artist. Only unfortunately there is not enough time.

I'm afraid that we don't have enough time either.

Tobias Forge: Yes, but these things are existential. They are not only about art and being an artist, but also about how both are connected to the human psyche and why people, artist or not, need art to function in modern times. That, by the way, is also one of the things I appreciate about tribulation: You are artists, not just any death metal band. I don’t want to hang anybody on the fence but especially in metal many musicians claim that they make music for themselves first and foremost. That’s not true! As soon as you go on stage you want to get something back. Even GG Allin! And his gigs were really a confrontational and bad experience for every lover of the fine arts. Playing just for yourself? That's not how it works. You either do it to please or to deliver something. People laugh, cry, clap, scream, whatever... And when they leave, they feel a little bit better. That's entertainment!

Anja Delast/ Metal Hammer

-------------------------------------------------

Please do not share without naming the origin. I have taken a lot of effort with it and unfortunately it is distributed without stating the origin. It's somehow sad...

#thebandghost #the band ghost #cardinalcopia #cardinal copia #tobiasforge

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flightfoot · 3 years

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Let It Be Enough To Reach The Truth That Lies Ch. 3

AO3

Thanks to Miabrown, Marby, and Khanofallorcs for betaing!

-----

“You failed.”

Adrien flinched. “Yes, Father.”

Gabriel didn’t even look up from his screen. “We will train more tonight. For now, go to your room and work on your piano lessons.”

Adrien sighed, a mixture of dread and relief coursing through him. “Yes, Father.”

At least while he was playing piano, Father was unlikely to come through his door.

He’d never imagined he’d dread his presence.

He also never imagined his father would force him to attack someone.

---------

After ‘training’ with Adrien for a couple weeks (read: beating the snot out of him until he got good at dodging), he’d deemed Adrien ready for combat.

Or maybe he’d just gotten sick of his akumas being defeated by a teenage girl and wanted to try something different.

Adrien had been keeping up with the Ladyblog, watching every new video of her exploits he could get his hands on.

His respect for her had only grown.

As had his dread at the prospect of facing her.

None of his research prepared him for actually meeting her.

Watching her through a screen, none of it seemed real.

Actually bumping into her? Being tied up with her? (He flushed at the memory.) That was a different story.

She’d been expecting him, been worried about him — or at least about Plagg.

He’d wanted nothing more than to hand her the ring, get Plagg somewhere safe at least… but that wasn’t an option. Especially with his father watching through one of the drones he’d commissioned.

At least Adrien could always tell when one was nearby. They were quiet, but not quiet enough to conceal from his hearing.

He was pretty sure his father didn’t know about the additional perks his Miraculous granted him, like his improved hearing and night vision. Father didn’t appear to have those.

Did Ladybug?

Digging through his cabinet, he threw a piece of cheese to Plagg. He caught it handily, devouring it in a single bite.

The corners of Adrien’s mouth pulled up.

These might be horrible circumstances and he’d prefer Plagg was somewhere safe, but a small, guilty part of him was glad he wasn’t trapped alone.

“Sooooo what did you think?” Plagg asked, finishing off the camembert.

Adrien blinked. “Of what?”

“Of your Lady! You know, the one you’ve been watching on loop for the past few weeks? The one you’ve been fretting about constantly? ‘Oh no, Plagg, Candy-butt wants me to hurt her, what will I do?’ ‘She’s so amazing, Plagg, did you see how she used that Lucky Charm?’ ‘She’s so kind and brave and is the best thing since stinky cheese!’”

Adrien flushed. “Plaaaaaagg.” He meant for it to be a reproach. It came out as more of a whine.

He let out a sigh. “It’s not like she’s ‘My’ Lady, anyway. I’m her enemy, remember?”

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Suuuuuure you are,” he drawled sarcastically. “And that’s why you just-so-happened to get distracted by a nearby bird when the last dot on her Miraculous started beeping.”

He looked down.

She was fast, but it wasn’t like he was any slouch in the speed department either. They were pretty evenly matched, which didn’t bode well when her transformation was bound to run out first.

So when a pigeon fluttered by, he may have pretended that catching it was a more enticing prospect than it actually was.

He ran around on all fours a lot, it wasn’t crazy to think he’d have a cat’s instinct to hunt as well.

If it happened to give him another weakness to be exploited, that wasn’t something he could help, now could he?

It was just the cat in him.

“I still have to fight her,” he said in a small voice.

He didn’t have much of an option on that. If he outright refused…

Well. Just because his father preferred using the Butterfly Miraculous, that didn’t mean he couldn’t use the Black Cat Miraculous as well.

And as an adult, he could use the special power repeatedly without cooldown.

He waged enough destruction while going through his akumas. Having the actual power of destruction literally at his fingertips? Adrien didn’t want to think of the damage it could cause.

Especially if his father touched Ladybug.

Adrien’d asked Plagg what would happen; if the kwami had Cataclysmed a living being. Once.

Plagg didn’t answer. But his expression? Told him he didn’t want to know.

At least, so long as he was allowed to have Plagg instead of his father, he could make sure Plagg wasn’t used like… like that.

Maybe he could even persuade Father to stop this! Or at least… at least rein him in. Stop him from going too far.

He- he hadn’t specifically tried to kill. Maybe he could reason with him if he started going too far.

Right?

Right. Of course he could. He was his father. He might be a supervillain, he might be awful, but he had limits. He had to.

Something small brushed at his hair.

Mom? Wait, no, she was-

Looking at his computer monitor he saw Plagg sitting on his head, patting his hair.

“You know… you don’t have to fight her,” he said.

Adrien frowned. “If I don’t Father might decide someone else would be a better Black Cat wielder,” he argued. “Or maybe just torture you, me, or both of us until I agree to his wishes.”

Plagg shook his head. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. You already faked some cat tendencies, faking fighting isn’t that big of a stretch.”

“Fake fighting…” Adrien’s eyes lit up. “You mean like acting?!”

Plagg nodded. “I’ve seen those new movies you humans came up with. They’ve got some of the most impressive moves I’ve ever seen, but they still don’t get hurt, right?”

“Some of that’s done with special effects,” Adrien told him, mind whirring. “But not all of it. It helps if you know what angle things are being viewed from, what the audience is able to see-”

“Which you know, right?” Plagg prompted.

Slowly Adrien nodded. “Yeah, since I can always sense the drones. And if I can just get Ladybug to play along…”

This.

This could work.

-------

Marinette chewed on her pencil distractedly.

Why had her partner sided with Hawkmoth? The butterfly man wasn’t exactly subtle about being the bad guy! Granted, it didn’t seem like he was happy about it…

Tikki hadn’t been too interested in looking further into it. Marinette’d gotten the impression that this had happened too often for her to be all that sympathetic to whoever misused Plagg. She just wanted him back, safe and sound.

She couldn’t blame Tikki for that viewpoint. If she’d had a close friend who’d been repeatedly abused, she wouldn’t be too interested in finding out the specifics about the latest person who was holding them captive, either.

But that didn’t mean she, herself hadn’t considered it.

He’d looked to be about her age. Granted, it was hard to tell with the suits having some sort of magical glamour (Tikki had called it “quantum masking”, whatever that meant).

Was he being manipulated into it?

What would his parents think?

Or were his parents…?

She stopped, shuddering. She knew awful parents existed, of course, ones who mistreated and manipulated their kids, ones who did not deserve to be in their children’s lives.

Even seeing movies and TV shows with some awful parents, it was a hard concept to wrap her head around. Her own Maman and Papa were always so kind and caring with her. Maybe stern if she did something wrong, but they always let her know what she’d done, talked it out with her, and let her know how she could do better. They were never unreasonable, and she never felt like they loved her any less, even if they were unhappy with her in the moment.

“Earth to Marinette!”

“WAAAUGGGH!” Marinette startled, flailing around wildly.

Alya ducked, barely avoiding getting hit. “Woooah there, girl! Just wanted to ask what was on your mind. You’ve been staring off into space for the past five minutes.”

Marinette looked away. “It’s nothing. Just personal stuff.”

Alya quirked an eyebrow. “Well if you don’t feel like sharing right now, I had another reason for getting your attention.”

Marinette blinked, straightening up. “What’s that?”

Alya handed her phone over to Marinette, pressing play on a video. “The footage the person sent me was captured from a distance,” she explained. “So the audio quality’s nonexistent. But look! There’s a new supervillain!”

Marinette just stared at the video, watching Catboy collide with her, chase her, only to get distracted a moment later by a bird.

So that was why he hadn’t caught her! She’d been wondering. He’d seemed pretty fast, and unlike her, he hadn’t been exhausted from a fight.

“Do you think he’s a full partner to Hawkmoth or just a villainous sidekick?” Alya asked excitedly.

Marinette hummed. “He seems pretty young… listening to Hawkmoth before, he sounded like an adult. This guy looks like a kid.”

“Doesn’t mean he’s not a full partner,” Alya said.

“True, but…” Marinette hesitated. The video didn’t capture audio, and wasn’t at the right angle to show Chat Noir’s expression before he started chasing her. “I just don’t get that vibe from him,” she said at last. “I get the feeling that he’s not the one pulling the strings.”

Alya looked at her a moment, then shrugged. “Whatever you say. You’re not the only one to think so, anyway. I’ve had a lot of forum activity speculating on whether he’s as evil as Hawkmoth is.”

So she wasn’t the only one?

“Really?” Marinette asked.

“A lot of it’s down to him being cute,” Alya said. “I’ve had to monitor certain threads VERY closely since he came onto the scene yesterday.”

Marinette blushed. “I, uh, hadn’t noticed.”

Alya narrowed her eyes. “Uh huh,” she said, not sounding even the slightest bit convinced.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway, because he’s a villain and he’s only appeared once and Alya stop looking at me like that-”

Alya continued smirking at her.

Burying her head on her desk, Marinette groaned. This was not how she’d been planning to start the day.

*beep beep*

Turning her head to the side, Marinette cracked an eye open. “What’s that?” she asked, her voice still muffled by her arms.

“It’s the new akuma alert app the city just set up,” Alya said distractedly, scrolling through the alert.

Akuma alert-

Marinette bolted upright. “What does it say?!” she asked hastily.

“There’s a new supervillain over near the Eiffel Tower. Calls himself Mr… Pigeon?” Alya frowned. “Wow, Hawkmoth is failing HARD at the intimidation factor. What sort of name is that? Marinette, you’ve gotta look at this outfit, I mean as a designer-”

Alya looked to the side.

And blinked.

“That girl is way too good at disappearing, I gotta get her to teach me how to do that,” she muttered at Marinette’s empty chair.

-----

“Miraculous Ladybug!”

The swarm of ladybugs flew out, repairing what little damage had occurred.

It wasn’t much. Mainly just pigeon poop. A LOT of pigeon poop. Annoying, but a far cry from the collapsed buildings and major injuries from other akumas.

It’d had one other, unexpected benefit as well. The Black Cat wielder had shown up again (her stomach twisted at the thought) but he hadn’t been able to do much. Beyond constantly sneezing and the birds distracting him, he’d barely even been an obstacle.

Hm. She’d have to ask Tikki whether she’d get ladybug instincts. Would she start eating bugs? Emitting noxious odors when scared? Cuddling up with people when she got cold. Okay, granted, she was prone to that last one anyway, but the others would be noticed!

A black blur rocketed towards her.

Oh. Right. With Mr. Pigeon deakumatized, there was nothing stopping the Black Cat wielder from going after her.

Crap.

He collided with her again, sending her skittering across the pavement.

She did a back handspring away from him (thank you, Miraculous reflexes!), landing on her feet just in time to start spinning her yo-yo into a shield. He tried pounding on it a few times with his staff, but it simply bounced off.

Nonetheless, he kept on pressing forwards, closer and closer.

Her earrings beeped four times.

CRAP.

SHE ONLY HAD A MINUTE.

She couldn’t let this turn into a battle of attrition. She had to get out of there NOW.

She turned around, preparing to bolt.

That was a mistake.

He tackled her to the ground, landing squarely on top of her. He reached for the earrings. She tried to punch him, but he just caught her hands.

“Why are you DOING THIS?!” she asked him through gritted teeth.

His ears flicked to the sides. Leaning in close he whispered, “Play along!”

She blinked, going still for a moment.

What?

His grip on one of her fists suddenly loosened.

*CRACK*

She winced as her fist made contact with his chest. The suits were protective, but she’d experienced enough hits to sympathize with the Black Cat’s shock. It still sucked to get punched.

He flew off her, sailing several feet away.

Uh… that… should not have happened. She knew that she was stronger while suited up, but she had a decent idea of how much force she put behind each blow. He should’ve been knocked back a foot at most, it wasn’t like she’d had the ability to gain momentum for the punch!

The Black Cat wielder backflipped several times, eventually landing on his feet. With a yell he ran towards her once again.

He’d told her to “play along”. What had he meant?

She couldn’t stay here and fight him. He KNEW that.

And he’d let her punch him off.

So… so, maybe…

He moved his fist forward to punch her.

Her eyes narrowed. Was it just her, or was his fist slightly off-center?

Just as his fist was reaching to the side of where her face would be, she flung herself back, forcing a wince.

He kept on coming, not showing the slightest bit of surprise at her sudden movement.

Because he’d WANTED her to do that. Had planned for it.

He didn’t want to hurt her. He just needed to put on a show.

“Come here, kitty kitty!” she smirked. There were some alleys off to the side. If she could just get them in there…

She was trusting this stranger a lot, she knew that. Especially since he was apparently working with Hawkmoth.

But some part of her DID trust him. Maybe it wasn’t totally rational. He’d only given a few hints that he wasn’t on Hawkmoth’s side, and for all she knew he could be luring her into a trap, waiting for her to lower her guard.

It was a risk she would just have to take.

He screamed, running at her with his staff held aloft. Immediately she started doubting her plan.

Still, she darted to the side, slipping into the dark, narrow alleyway.

He followed her, smashing up some trash cans, making a lot of banging noise and yelling - but not trying to get any closer.

Quickly she ducked behind a nearby dumpster, knowing full well that the Miraculous wielder’s eyes were on her. If he wanted to discover her identity, all he needed to do was round the corner.

He came no closer, instead cursing loudly. “I don’t know how you escaped, Ladybug, but beware! CHAT NOIR is coming for you!”

Chat Noir, huh? Not the most creative name, but she was hardly one to talk.

A moment later she heard his pole extend. She peeked around the corner just in time to see him pole-vaulting off away from the alley.

She sighed in relief, sinking down against the dumpster. Tikki flew over to her, putting her hand on her chin like she was “The Thinker”.

“You might’ve been right, Marinette,” she admitted after a moment. “I don’t think I gave Chat Noir enough credit.”

Marinette smiled, scratching Tikki’s head. The little kwami giggled, flying up to her for a cheek cuddle. “Maybe Plagg’s in a better situation, too?” Marinette suggested.

Tikki hummed. “I hope so. I’m beginning to think his kitten this time isn’t a bad kid.”

Her expression darkened. “But even if HE’S not, the person he’s working for — or pretending to work for — is. And he seems to have some sort of hold over Chat Noir — and subsequently, over Plagg.”

Marinette grimaced. Tikki was right. Chat Noir’s reluctance to oppose them might be a bright spot, but their situation was still pretty bad.

Holding her hands out for her kwami, she scooped the little bug up, safely stowing her in her purse.

“We’ll just have to encounter him again,” she said, looking towards the light of the open street. “And maybe get some more answers.”

And turn him fully to their side, her heart whispered.

#let it be enough to reach the truth that lies #ml fanfic #Miraculous ladybug #ml enemies au #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng

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princesssarisa · 4 years

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“Beauty and the Beast”: Belle’s beautiful discontentment (warning: long)

In my Feminist Defense of the Animated Belle, I addressed most of the issues I’ve heard people complain about regarding Belle’s character. But there was one I didn’t touch on, because it has very little to do with gender roles: the common complaint that Belle is a “snob.” I’d like to discuss that topic now. I’d also like to use it as a springboard to discuss a valuable aspect of Belle’s character that sets her apart both from certain Disney princesses who came before her and from depictions of Beauty in other Beauty and the Beast retellings: her willingness to own her discontentment.

I do understand the “snob” accusations. After all, Belle’s neighbors are poor peasants working hard to eke out a living. It’s only natural that they have little time for books or dreams of adventure and think Belle’s passion for those things is impractical. It’s reasonable to sympathize with their perspective more than the movie seems to want us to. It’s fair to argue that the movie has a (probably unintentional) classist undertone by portraying the villagers as small-minded and bigoted and by having Belle only find a kindred spirit in a prince, albeit an enchanted outcast prince, and find her ultimate happiness by leaving the town in favor of a royal castle. I’m grateful that other BatB retellings exist (e.g. Megan Kearney’s webcomic, or Robin McKinley’s Rose Daughter) that portray Beauty’s peasant world in a more positive light, depict the historic cruelty of royal court life in the Beast/Prince’s backstory, and have him leave the castle in the end to become a peasant rather than Beauty becoming a princess.

But none of the above is any reason to criticize Belle.

I don’t think she looks down on her neighbors. She most certainly doesn’t shun them, as some critics claim she does. Just look at her meeting with the baker during the opening song: she tries to have a friendly conversation with him and tell him about the wonderful story she’s read, only for him to rudely brush her aside with “That’s nice... Marie! The baguettes!” I don’t interpret her subsequent shrug and eye-roll as showing disdain for his “low-class” disinterest in books – just as “Oh well, as usual, no one shares my interest.”

Nor do I buy the claim that she shows disdain for the “I need six eggs!” woman (and by extension for all struggling mothers) when she rides past her. It’s true that she does seem to be smiling, which might imply amused contempt, but she might also just be enjoying her ride on the wagon while at the same time wistfully yearning for a new life, with her expression having nothing to do with the woman. I don’t know what the animators meant to convey. And even if that overwhelmed mother does represent the life Belle doesn’t want for herself, and if Belle sings “There must be more than this provincial life!” in response to seeing her, what’s wrong with that? I don’t think it’s an insult to women who choose to have big families. Even a woman who chooses to have five kids shouldn’t be expected to wrangle them all by herself while also doing her grocery shopping, with no help from her husband or from anyone else. That’s the kind of unpaid labor women have too often been forced into and it’s not “insulting other women” for Belle to yearn for something different.

Belle has the right to be bored by her small town life and want something more. She’s not some rich girl looking down on the poor peasants; she’s a poor peasant too. A person trapped in a dull, stifling lower-class existence has every right to long for a different life. Would we accuse Cinderella of being a “snob” and “ignoring the value of domestic work” because she dreams of escaping from her enslavement by her stepfamily? Of course Belle’s life in the village is more comfortable than that, but it’s still reasonable that she should want to break free from its limits.

“But Belle is clearly richer and more privileged than her neighbors!” some critics argue again and again. “Most peasants in those days were illiterate, so the fact that Belle can read shows she’s had a higher-class education, and in the stage musical, Maurice tells her she’s ‘class’ while their neighbors are ‘the common herd’!” I don’t buy that argument. I’ve never bought it. Not one bit. The movie’s setting isn’t the real late 18th/early 19th century France – it’s the Disney version of it. The village has a bookshop in the animated version and a church library and schoolhouse in the live-action remake. There’s no indication whatsoever that Belle's neighbors can’t read. (Gaston holding her book askance as he looks for pictures in it and Le Fou’s inability to spell Gaston’s name don’t count; the first is a “parental bonus” gag implying that Gaston is looking for a centerfold, while the second is a “Le Fou is stupid” gag. Gaston quotes Shakespeare in “The Mob Song,” so he’s clearly had some education.) Belle just stands out because she has a passion for books, instead of only reading now and then during breaks from “more important” things, and because she would rather read than engage in smalltalk about practical everyday matters. Belle is shown borrowing her books, not buying them, which I presume implies she can’t afford to buy them, and Maurice builds his invention out of ordinary household items (e.g. a wood stove, an axe, a teapot), so he presumably hasn’t spent much money on it either. Nor are they any better dressed than their neighbors, nor does their house look any fancier. They certainly don’t seem richer than Gaston, who apparently owns the village tavern and can afford to arrange a wedding party on short notice and bribe Monsieur d’Arque with a bag of gold to help him blackmail Belle. As for Maurice’s remarks in the stage version, they’re clearly about her personality, not about social class.

Belle also has the right to be an individualist and a misfit. That’s part of the whole point of her storyline. It seems to me that critics who complain that she “looks down on normalcy” are doing the same thing the villagers do, which is supposed to be wrong: saying “It’s a pity and a sin she doesn’t quite fit in.”

It’s no surprise that people should complain about Belle’s complaining, though. Traditional fairy-tale heroines aren’t supposed to complain. As much as we can joke about the cliché that the “I want more” heroine became during the Disney Renaissance, we shouldn’t forget how innovative that kind of heroine was in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Just think back to Snow White: at the beginning she’s dressed in rags and forced to work as a scullery maid by her stepmother, but we find her smiling and cheerfully humming as she scrubs the castle steps. Then there’s Cinderella: a bit more complex and openly discontented than Snow White, but in general she still goes cheerfully about her chores. The heroine who lives in unhappy circumstances but “bears it cheerfully and without complaint” is a mainstay of classic, old-fashioned fairy-tales (and other stories too). The early versions of Beauty and the Beast are no exception. After Beauty’s family falls into poverty, we’re told that her sisters constantly wail and cry over their lost wealth and status, but Beauty swallows her grief, resolves to be cheerful, patiently shoulders all the household chores, and devotes her days to consoling her father and siblings. For this she’s held up as a role model, in contrast to her complaining sisters, who despise her and insult her for it, but whom she always loves and forgives.

Of course there’s value in that kind of character. Resilience in the face of adversity and finding happiness where others find none is a strength in its own right. But it can be overdone. The more that women, poor people and outcasts are encouraged to be cheerful, patient and uncomplaining, the more they’re expected to “stay in their place.” Any righteous desire or demand for a better life or better treatment is labeled “rude,” whiny,” “petulant” and “selfish.” It doesn’t always cross that line, but it can.

Linda Woolverton, the head screenwriter of Disney’s BatB, knew that she wanted Belle to be different both from the traditional Beauty and from the likes of Snow White and Cinderella. So did lyricist Howard Ashman, whose experience as a gay man did much to influence the outcast heroes and heroines of the three Disney movies he wrote for. As noted in this Time Magazine article, they resolved to create a heroine for “the next century,” who wasn’t “based on being kind and taking the hits but smiling all the way through it.”

They definitely succeeded.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s wonderful that Belle owns her discontentment. It’s beautiful that she doesn’t try to fit in or put on a patient, cheerful mask, but unabashedly yearns to escape from her dull, small-minded village and find adventure in the great wide somewhere. It’s wonderful that she has no patience for Gaston’s rudeness and arrogance and that she loathes the thought of having to give up her reading and intellect in favor of a mundane marriage and raising a gaggle of children. It all leads beautifully into her friendship and romance arc with the Beast, where she refuses to tolerate his bullying, refuses to let him control her even though he’s the master of the castle, only forgives him when he earns her forgiveness, and inspires him to change for the better. The happy ending comes about precisely because Belle was willing to be discontented and shamelessly wanted more than she was given at first. This makes her almost the opposite of the original tale’s Beauty, whose story was written as an allegory for arranged marriage and whose purpose was in part to convince girls to submit to unwanted circumstances for their families’ sake. I love that instead, Belle refuses to submit to what she doesn’t want, and her refusal becomes the catalyst for all the positive growth and transformation in the story.

Let’s hear it for heroines who want more!

#beauty and the beast #disney #belle #meta

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