#He deserves it because he did so much
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Gotta talk about Nanami to cope. I thought he already died when Jogo burned him and was stunned when it was so short. This made it so much worse but there’s so much to this scene that I want to breakdown. I will never recover.
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First, there’s the sharp contrast between the beach and Nanami half dead fighting Mahito’s transformed souls. It’s this contrast of ideal versus reality. It’d be nice to be somewhere else relaxing, but something about Nanami’s character is that he feels this duty to do what is right. He has to go help Megumi because that’s the right thing to do. Even if he's not in the state to do it. He can’t be daydreaming about beaches in Malaysia. And he’s so so tired. He’s already done so much but he continues to want to help others.
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And Mahito, DAMN MAHITO, comes up behind him and reveals he was there the whole time. There’s so much futility in this moment. Mahito could have just killed Nanami instantly once he saw him, but he let him keep fighting. Fighting for what? Mahito was just going to kill him. This also enforces Mahito's character and how he's always seen humans as playthings.
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Nanami feels this futility too. He doesn’t know why he even stayed in the jujutsu world. Then he sees his old friend. His friend who died too early to help anyone and who didn’t have the chance to do the work that Nanami did. And Nanami takes back what he said. He can’t regret what he did with his life when Haibara didn’t even have a chance at a life. Haibara embodies this sense of duty Nanami feels to do what is right.
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"I shouldn't." Again, Nanami doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to die, but even in his final moments he tries to do what is right. Ideally, you would die peacefully, but Haibara points Yuji out. There's something Nanami still needs to do. He gives Yuji encouragement to keep going and stand up against Mahito.
And then Itadori has to watch Nanami die. He’s just had a breakdown after having Sukuna use his body to form a crater in Shibuya and feels lost. In his stupor, he comes across Nanami, who had guided him when he was still new to the jujutsu world. This is the last thing he needed. Gojo, the renowned strongest sorcerer and his teacher, is sealed and now Nanami, who acted as Yuji's mentor, is dead. And Yuji screams at Mahito. The music change from silence to intensity is wild as they begin to fight.
Since Nanami is my favorite character from JJK, this hurt a lot. There's something reassuring knowing he can rest now but painful that he couldn't do that in life. I loved him because his desire to help people stood out compared to other characters. He didn't enjoy being a jujutsu sorcerer, but it at least helped people. That's why he stayed. And it hurts so much when someone just wants to help people and meets their end because of it.
#I'm giving Nanami a big hug right now#He deserves it because he did so much#UGGHHHH I can't do this anymore#Nobara next week is going to be just as bad for me#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk#jjk spoilers#nanami kento#mahito#yuji itadori#pbear analysis
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who gets me WHO GETS ME!!!!!
( insanely in love with him ; I love him sm 🙏)
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks#the other zoey#zach maclaren#zach maclaren x reader#queer movie#eugene allerton#hellraiser 2022#trevor hellraiser#i literally couldnt decide if i wanted to make rafe or drew#BUT I DID DREW BECAUSE YK WHAT#i love him sm#genuinely#im so glad hes getting the recognition he deserves 🥹#he deserves it sm!!!#and much more!!!!!#also ive made this sort of layout for all my brainrot characters at the moment so#drew did deserve his own too hehe
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How… Do I recover from this…?
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#i’m just… after the episode my mind went blank completely… and then i started sobbing… because what the fuck…#i feel even more heartbroken than i already did and literally can’t stop crying…#bruh i can’t… i’m completely shattered… i couldn’t take screenshots without stopping for few moments to cry over dabi…#he has suffered so much… endured so much… i feel sick to my stomach omfg…#and some of y’all want me to change my mind about endeavor??? HELL NAH I NOW HATE HIM EVEN MORE ACTUALLY#so congrats to all of you that wanted dabi fans to be more understanding toward the walking garbage: it didn’t work#and never will. he needs and deserves to rot in fucking hell
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Hi! Just curious. What exactly is that you didn't like about Viktor's arc? I've seen a few people saying the same thing and idk if I'm missing something or I'm just too over the moon about him that my brain has gone smooth haha.
oh no oh no i'm probably going to write like a whole dissertation about this I am so sorry I'm literally cracking my knuckles I have so many thoughts and not all of them I'll even get to articulate here.
Saying this upfront: you aren't smooth-brained for disagreeing with me or liking it. I want to say that outright as I'm a very opinionated person and I am going to state my very strong opinions very plainly.
That being said : I genuinely feel like season 2 needed like... character writing 101 for a lot of these characters, especially the two characters whose names start with a 'V'. I'm so serious if one of my students brought in a story like this, I would (gently) take it apart.
If you don't want to read the whole thing I'm about to unleash, the crux of it is this for me:
Throughout the course of the season, it's very hard to discern how many of Viktor's decisions are his own. He lacks the baseline autonomy that's necessary for satisfying development. The magic of the hexcore becomes a shiny distraction that makes meaningful development impossible. Additionally, season 2 forgets so many of the themes and threads they explored with Viktor in season one explicitly in terms of class and his position on war and weapons manufacturing.
And, like almost everything in season 2, these issues are compounded because his story is done at a pace that's completely lightning-fast and prioritizes the wrong things.
Here's my thesis:
How Does a Man Like Viktor Become the Machine Herald? Arcane's Answer: Magic orb or vague sadness or something idk.
Harry Lloyd said in a season 1 commentary somewhere that one of the main appeals for Viktor is knowing who he is in the game and wondering how you take a man like him, who is so kind and has people's best interests at heart, and see him slowly become the machine herald.
I agree 100% that this is part of the story's appeal for players. And it would be a delight and surprise for non-players.
We... get that very juicy premise ripped from us. We don't see him making decisions grounded in the character they set up in season 1 at all, really. And its very unsatisfying seeing him be rendered a mere victim of circumstance with vague attachments to his past self.
This is not necessarily a complaint about arcane herald vs machine herald (I did not play league and am not attached to the lore) but a complaint that a lot of what happens with Viktor in season 2 seems very unattached to his psychology.
Christian Linke himself said (and I forget where, so I am sorry if I'm paraphrasing terribly) that part of the question he wanted the audience to ask with Viktor is how much of this is really him? Bluntly. That is incredibly silly. It's such an important question that it makes all other interesting questions one might have about him really hard to parse.
That's not compelling. That's a mistake. That's not rooted in character anymore but a vague magical orb.
Here are some questions that would have been more interesting for us to ask, Christian.
How does his desire to tamper out human emotion prompt him to do the unspeakable? What leads him there?
How far is he willing to go to take away human pain and suffering?
Is his version of pacifism really, in actuality, a form of violence?
Will his connection with others be enough to bring him back to his humanity? (this is a question we were not prompted to ask, and if we were, it would have made the final scene (which I love regardless) a lot more satisfying.
What is the root of his hunger for power? How much of his quest is a hunger for power and control over others (rooted in a fractured and tragic sense of self)? and how much is it rooted in his desire to help? Where is that line?
Any of these questions or any other questions we could enjoy exploring with Viktor become tampered with and weakened by the fact that a vague magical entity is controlling him in a vague and unrelatable way.
In short, 'How much of Viktor is still Viktor?' is a far less interesting question than. 'how is Viktor going to act, change, and learn? ' We are forced to ask the first at the cost of the second. He clearly is not fully himself this season.
The Dropping of Themes and Traits
Season 1's exploration of Viktor was multi-layered and fascinating. I feel like we got to see the establishment of a kind-hearted, sometimes awkward yet quite funny, passionate scientist.
I don't feel we see much of any of this in season 2. The stupid fucking orb overrides a lot of the traits we've come to know and love. This would have been cool if done with an ounce of care, understanding, or autonomy.
In season 1, we see Viktor in a position of powerlessness over and over. We see Viktor ignored and looked down upon by those in power both for his disability and, crucially, for his status as a Zaunite.
We're introduced to him as someone who is desperate to prove himself and carve a place for himself. He knows he's brilliant. And he knows he can help people with that big brain of his. That's all he wants. And he wants to make his mark (something I theorize is rooted in his loneliness as well as his ambition)
(Side note: I find a lot of the debate on whether or not Viktor is insecure a little silly because you can be both confident and insecure. He's incredibly secure in his abilities as a scientist, but I fully do believe he places all his worth on his work because he's not as confident in other places - represented visually by him trying to point out his boat when Sky is looking at him in the flashback. A 'don't look at me look at what I've made' type thing.)
Anyways. Viktor is willing to risk his position as an assistant and, honestly, his position at the academy and in Piltover as a whole to help Jayce. This is not just because he's 'lol so chaotic' or whatever. This is actually quite calculated. He knows he will get nowhere in Piltovian society without bending rules, because Piltover was not built for people like him.
"Do you think it was my life's ambition to be an assistant?"
But even in taking that huge step for himself, his new role is complicated.
We see him sit through meetings where his people are talked about like burdens. We see his closest (and honestly only) ally and partner speak over him in meetings and overrule his desires and wants when it comes to the future of hextech in massive ways. We see Jayce call all Zaunites 'dangerous' (I love jayce... don't shoot me please. But we do often forget that this does canonically happen and what makes Jayce so incredible is that he grows from this point)
The moment on the bridge directly causes him not to tell Jayce about what he's doing to himself. Jayce apologizing right after doesn't matter so much as it reinforces one of Viktor's fears: he is alone.
We see his illness, !!!!caused by Piltover's oppression!!!!, take over. We see him and Jayce grow apart. We see the way his loneliness impacts his desperation and the way his desperation impacts his loneliness and we see the way he's so damn afraid and just wants to live. We see how much he wants to help people, and how even though he's tried so hard he never got to achieve that because the limits of this society just don't allow for it.
Season 1 Act one is Viktor taking action for himself. season 1 Acts 2 and 3 are a brutal reminder that no matter how hard he works. No matter how hard he claws. He will always be who he is. And that makes him Powerless in this society. I honestly find it a really compelling storyline in terms of the 'bootstrap theory' and debunking that - but a different topic for a different time!
At the end of the season, he's able to gain a huge amount of power - speaking at the council about freeing his city - through Jayce's platforming and allyship. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter, because what the council is doing is too little too late - people in Zaun are too tired and too hurt - and he gets caught in the crossfire.
Despite all this, Season 2 does not engage with Viktor's being a Zaunite outside of the fact that he returns to Zaun first. But the themes explored related to class and power are gone - as they are with everyone else really.
It makes sense to me that one of the first things Viktor would do when granted a new body and new power would be to go and try to help people in Zaun, but the ambiguous mechanisms of the magic inside him, the immediate divorce with Jayce, and the bizarre way he goes about it don't make this land.
And even the return is rendered sort of meaningless. Where is the personal connection to this place? Why are we given no details related to his past here? Why doesn't he return to somewhere more personal for him?
He speaks in this cold, unaffected monotone. This healing ability seems to be the 'recursive impulse' - so him finally getting to help people just like he wanted feels rooted so much in the arcane influence it becomes murky and strange.
This is more nitpicky, and I'd be okay with it being ignored in the right context - but another aspect of his character that gets dropped is his work as a scientist. His desire to help people not through magic, but through invention. This would have been fascinating. (They try to keep this alive through vague allusions to 'look at what I've created' blah blah but again, so much of it is all ORB)
What inventions would a fully autonomous Viktor who decided to leave Jayce and return to Zaun of his own fruition create? Would they toe the line between inventions of progress and inventions of destruction?
Guess we'll never know!
Speaking of weapons. Let's talk about weapons. Let's talk about Viktor's vehement opposition to weapons not being explored within the context of his relationship with Jayce or outside of the rule that there are none allowed in the commune - which becomes quite meaningless when he agrees to work with Ambessa. Yes - he saw those blueprints on the table. But that's all we get.
Also, the fact that Jayce just unquestionably builds hextech weapons in the finale, and they're used as a good thing and a way to fight off Noxus, makes me want to claw my own hair out. Like - my themes ! Not my precious themes !
Let's also talk about him working with Ambessa. There's no build-up to that decision, not near enough character work to make that believable and considering the way the plot is written elsewhere, I fully believe this is a huge part of the problem of the writer's room dropping the issue of class. The idea that Viktor, the character that they set up, would ever willingly work with Ambessa is laughable. There are so many other ways he could have gotten to the hexcore in his fully evolved form, easily bested Jayce, and evolved. And they did absolutely nothing in the writing of season 2 to make that an interesting or satisfying choice.
An arc is only an arc if there is substance between point a and b. There's no substance here. There's vague orb. There are little glimpses of the pain he's in because of his separation from Jayce. Teeny tiny allusions to him trying to shut down his emotions. That's simply not enough.
You cannot bring a character who values choice and autonomy, whose been made to feel so powerless and is empathetic, to "choice is meaningless" without a deep study of his psychology and pain. Viktor taking away the autonomy of others, inhabiting their bodies. Being super chill with it. Okay. Coo.
Where does his desire for evolution even come from? For real? Because they seem to mistake Viktor's ambition with his desire for perfection, which is something that was never really... brought up? It could be believable that he felt this way. But where were the signs of this? Not just in season 1 but in season 2. He always wanted to help, not make humanity perfect. Because this is grounded in so little emotional logic I assume we're supposed to be satisfied with the idea that magic orb + machine herald form = ??? this ??? like ??? why???
If he wants to create a world where nobody can feel pain or complex emotions of any sort anymore, which is not psychologically where he was at the end of season 1 at all despite all he went through, you have to give us an event (ideally multiple) in season 2 that could break his mind this badly. Jayce killing him could have been this, but it happened so fast and was executed so impersonally that it doesn't work. He doesn't really acknowledge it happened the next time they see each other. Which... would probably be important to do... again emotional logic where?
His entire speech about humanity at the end of episode 6 feels like it's trying to be a catalyst. But it also feels... incredibly generic and impersonal. It felt written to play over a flashy montage of all the other characters fighting. Not for Viktor. If this was Viktor's moment where he finally snaps, we should probably focus on Viktor. And, of course, it doesn't help that he has this odd monotone this whole time, as if he's not fully in control of himself (this is not a rip on Harry Lloyd at all. He did what he was told and did it very, very well.)
Because remember. They wanted us to ask this. They wanted us to ask how much of this was orb. I think because they knew on some level they could not create a compelling enough story to get viktor where they wanted him to be for some reason without orb. That none of this would make sense without the vague spice of the arcane. And guess what it still doesn't.
Becuase people will not relate to a vague arcane influence. Connect to it. We would want to see what actually in his life made him become this. What in his psychology outside of magic orb made him do this? They provide vague tastes of this in the same way La Croix flavors its drinks.
Brought Back Wrong Can Work: Here's Why This One Didn't
I also really hate the trope of killing off characters only to bring them back. And back again. And... again. Because guess what. It takes one of the core elements of the human experience - death- and cheapens it. This for sure happens with Viktor the second time he dies.
But what i do like about bringing someone back from the dead is when you consider how doing so can bring someone back wrong. Or changed.
But because the orb is so impersonal. So bland. Such a vague sinister force that has very little to do with character, it doesn't... work. It doesn't hit. Viktor doesn't really grapple with being brought back from the dead against his will in a meaningful way.
Timing
You can see concepts of a plan, if you will, within this story. I can see how Viktor would naturally go to the undercity after waking up changed with new healing powers. But it happens way to fast. So bizarrely. I can see how he would build a society like this (of course, the power of that is dulled because orb and by the fact that we don't see it happen). I can see how the pain of being rejected and left behind by the only person who made him feel like he wasn't alone (Jayce) could have lead to a category 5 'make me evil' sort of meltdown.
Becoming the Herald, asking Singed to begin the transformation, is the only true time in this show in act 2 (before his final moments) where it feels like he's making a choice for himself. But again, we get so little time with him. To see his emotions. To elegantly point from that moment with Jayce to Viktor's need to transform and in doing so rid himself of emotion (something that they did not expand on enough ) Like oh my god, how much more satisfying would it have been to see Viktor torn apart by his own emotions - in his own viktor way - and to have singed offer him a way out of his pain - and then have viktor take it. There are certain things that should be obvious.
But It's both the timing of and the structure of the story - how quickly we cut between plotlines - that makes this really hard to follow. That makes moments that could be something feel rushed and sloppy.
Let's Talk about Sky
Viktor's guilt over sky was absolutely reasonable to explore, but it was not.... all that haunted him. To make Sky the sole guide/companion to him in the astral/arcane headspace I found to be a bizarre and honestly kind of offensive choice.
Amanda overton said she was used as a "Jayce substitute" essentially. And... why? Literally why. Why would you write a character whose sole deal is having an unrequited crush on a man only to bring her back to be 'the embodiment of his guilt and loneliness' as well as a 'substitute' - it feels... icky to me? Just in a writing women and especially women of color point of view? And it didn't feel true to Viktor's character either.
I think if we actually got to know sky better in season 1, this would have worked because it would have been obvious how different she was, how she was a product of his mind or the hexcore or whatever (the lore being vague here doesn't help...)
Plot Twist because I keep hating on Orb: They Could Have Made The Orb Really Cool
Here's the thing. Magic influence on its own can be used to write extremely compelling plots. Walk with me.
Imagine Viktor wakes up. Immediately knows something's wrong with him. That something inside him is toying with him. Making him see things (visions of not only sky, but maybe his parents, Jayce, Heimer). He wakes up earlier in act 1. Despite his anger, he stays with jayce in order to better understand himself and his powers. All the while, he is haunted by whispers and visions of the hexcore. What if it whispers to him of his own insecurities and failures?
What if Things with Jayce are tense. Jayce has to admit to making weapons again, in an argument leading to more haunting visions from the hexcore offering him an out: emotional numbness. You would never have to feel again Viktor. If you let me in fully, you would never have to be alone again. You'd be more powerful, Viktor.
Imagine Viktor is there during that attack ambessa orchestrated. That he has the horror of witnessing Jayce wield his hammer in a genuine attempt to defend himself and the people he loves. He sees first hand how hextech is being used for destruction in a way that horrifies him.
Imagine him being accused of being a part of it because he's a Zaunite - humiliated in some way. Publicly. Imagine the emotional trauma of this resulting in a falling out so devastating he embraces his visions of the hexcore - gives into the numbness. And only then leaves. With the hexcore... he feels better than he has in years. He hopes he can give the gift of this to others. Now he is under orb influence, but now the way he's gotten there is more satisfying to me at least.
Now imagine him fighting the orb influence in key moments. Imagine the color in his eyes coming back. Imagine Viktor's relationship with the arcane being more of a dance than a vague entanglement. Imagine its influence haunting him in the same way Jinx's visions haunt her. Imagine it being personal rooted in his character.
Old Man Viktor
Listen. I am the old man Viktor connoisseur. I love him. I love the idea of him. I wrote a whole fic about him, during which I had to spend a lot of time with the story. It's sort of... very much impossible to make much sense of?
I'm not mad at the fact that it's an obvious retcon. Honestly, because I think from a storytelling perspective, it worked a lot better than most of the decisions they made this season.
But I'm not a fan of (shocking) how little time we spend with him. How little chance we get to understand his motivatons. And also. What the fuck he said to Jayce to make Jayce's first line of action killing him? In my fic, I made it that Jayce needed to shoot Viktor to get the hexcore out, so he could communicate to viktor without influence. But that felt like heavy lifting I shouldn't necessarily have to do for something so important. It also doesn't feel like a compelling or satisfying question to make your audience have to wrestle with.
The Final Scene
Want to say upfront I am not one of the people who did not like Jayce's speech.
I was quite moved by it. And aside from the perhaps out of place mention of the illness brought on by Piltover which I can understand the criticism for, I felt it was beautiful. (I am disabled btw)
That being said. I think i'd be a sobbing mess on the floor if the themes Jayce is presenting in his speech were more present throughout season 2. Because we really don't see this enough - the desire for perfection.
I'm also not one of those people who thinks Viktor's insecurities weren't present in season 1. To me, they were and were obvious, but not enough in his motivations and actions in season 2 to make Jayce's speech land like it could.
I really loved Jayce's arc in season 2. Him immediately embracing Viktor after he woke from the goo was surprising but felt right. But I wish they had more genuine conflict rooted in their conflict in season 1 that would allow their final moment to land even harder.
I really liked the final scene, and it made me an emotional mess. But weirdly, I'd almost like it as a short film removed from the context of the season two, which says just how little Viktor's arc this season contributed to the moment.
Final Thoughts
I'm so sorry I went so in-depth. I just love him as a character and feel he was very much not done justice.
We can attribute some of this to the lack of time. But when you know you have a lack of time, you need to write with that in mind instead of trying to do it all. And ultimately, I found a lot of scenes this season a waste of precious time. They had so many characters alone contemplating something intangible or alone and trapped for episodes. They didn't plan this with the care and precision needed to pull it off.
I also want to note that I know I say here a lot that there's a lot they needed to make "more obvious". This is not because I'm stupid. But when you're a writer, you need to know what to highlight and what you can leave vague so you leave your audience exploring the right nuances and asking the satisfying questions.
Anyways umm. The end. Holy shit, I'm so sorry I wrote so much.
#i literally typed this in a caffine induced frenzy#oh my god its so long kldfjashdlkfjsd#im sure there are things i missed or did not explain well#ask bee#how many times can i hate on orb#SDKLFJD#its not even an orb#i know this#if someone reads this whole thing they deserve a cookie or something#see this is why tumblr might be a problem for me actually#no character limit DKJFHSDLKF#if you keep reading this could very much be like a do you like the color of the sky situation#where you have to just keep scrolling and scrolling#god i need work to start back up again KLDFJSHDFLK#side note one of my twitter moots got a strawpage anon that was like#you hate his arc you must hate viktor#which is so funny because#i literally love him so much#that's why i hate his arc KLDFJHSD#one thing i do like about viktors storyline and i still dont think it fully works#is how many of his principles he clung to even under magical influence#at least at the start#bee talks arcane
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Really have to assume that anyone saying hector didn't deserve to die the way he did didn't actually read the Iliad
#i mean first of all none of them deserved to die so jot that down#entire book is about how pointless and tragic war is#but beyond that hectors slaying of Patroclus#was just as dishonorable as Achilles killing hector#just because he failed to decapitate pat and feed him to the dogs#doesnt somehow make him morally better#also the fight over pats body did mutilate him to an extent#that corpse went through it#did hectors end up going through more?#probably#doesn't really change much#the iliad#tumblr showing me lukewarm takes at six am#my kryptonite#morning me does not know how to not write an essay about it#afternoon me is better at letting it go#homer#tagamemnon
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Pietà
#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#spoilers#Did it some time ago while reading trimax and didn't post it because I'm an idiot and forgot about it????#sooooo i'm posting it now because i miss stampede saturdays already MY GOD#anyway i had to cope with Wolfwood death in some ways since it ripped my fucking heart in the most cruel way#jesus... the way he screams and cries because HE'S HOME and then he dies with a gentle smile on his face#the way vash seems to mourn in silence and mantaining his composure#only to discover later that he actually had shortened his lifespan in a moment of pure grief and rage against knives arc#fucking poetic#i hate them so much i wish they had more time i wish they were happy they fucking deserved it fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#anyway iconographic religion imagery be upon ye i guess#oooooh there are so many christian paintings and sculptures to homosexualize :3c#chronart
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Me: Ooooo, I wonder what this "Mouthwashing" thing is that everyone's been obsessed with lately. I should check some of it out.
Me, 30 minutes later: I would kill myself for you, Anya.
#i'm so obsessed with her#you don't even understand#i love her so much#she deserved better#she deserves the world#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#anya deserved better#anya deserved so much more#anya my beloved#mouthwashing game#look at her#i love her#fuck jimmy#all my homies hate jimmy#i will stab him for what he did to my girl#i will rip him apart with my mouth#she deserves to stab him to death at least a little bit#but honestly i love anya for so many reasons#not only is her plotline interesting and tragic as hell and she deserves better#but she is a legitimately interesting person and character outside of what happened to her#her dedication to her job and the fact that she was able to keep curly alive by herself for so long is extremely admirable#and i've heard about how she can act pretty playful and fun when outside of situations like the one she was in throughout the game#i really wish we got to see that side of her more#because it seems like her anxious and more timid personality is a bit of a trauma response which is understandable#so yeah i love her and i want to give her a pat on the head and a hug and maybe a gentle kiss on the forehead if she's okay with it#i prefer to comfort others via physical affection and i want to comfort her so badly#i don't know if i'd be the most helpful if i were a crewmate who learned what happened to her#(my way of helping would be offering to murder jimmy and i'm not sure if she'd want that because not all victims want that)#and sometimes physical affection/hug aren't helpful or preferred
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Okay, I know that “it’s actually originally meant to show the passage of time instead of being bi colors” and all that…disregarding how that’s such a vibrant pink and a harsh, rigid, and very linear gradient for a supposed sunset, and that it’s already night (not sunset or twilight) at the crypt, whatever.
But regardless, I think putting a suspiciously bi-colored gradient behind cross-shaped bars, in the climax scene of the arc where Angel of the Lord Castiel’s heavenly biological family—who considers his deep connection with a man named Dean Winchester to be “corrupt,” as it is something that pulls him away from Heaven and is therefore forbidden and punishable under their rules—brainwashes him into detaching himself away from and almost killing said man, after they have chosen to introduce a new, very clinical set design for Heaven in this season for the sole purpose of having it go along with the lobotomies that they repeatedly have Cas go through for the said brainwashing, and all of this being done with the intention of having it be Dean’s CONFESSION and Cas’ LOVE for him that breaks the brainwashing and saves both of them, is—to be quite frankly—crazy, crazy work. Certainly a choice A Series of Fascinating Choices if you will.
#and i absolutely love how cas escapes the cage/conversion therapy but he’s not quite on the other (bisexual) side yet#and by the bisexual side i mean by dean’s side#because while cas is rejecting heaven’s control he’s still denying himself the love that he doesn’t think he deserves.#especially SUCH amount of love from dean? so much love that it’s enough for dean to *immediately* forgive cas who was about to kill him???#to cas it feels unearned…*undeserved*.#for the amount of love dean gives him the guilt from it is just as heavy.#i think that if cas actually somehow chose to stay with dean (ik he wouldn’t that’s ooc and misses the point)#BUT if he did stay they might’ve riden the impala into the sunset#a beautiful bi colored sunset.#like visual storytelling wise i think that’s the clearest way they could convey the message and add to the metaphor#while *still* leaving some space for vagueness and deniability.#but of course cas DOESN’T stay and dean has to drive the impala at night without cas while dejectedly playing goodbye stranger.#supernatural#spn#spn meta#spn 8x17#spn goodbye stranger#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#first post of the year i’ve been marinating this in my head for weeks.
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while I see the appeal of izuku calling kacchan katsuki I think if he does katsuki should be allowed to burst into tears immediately
#am I not kacchan anymore? what did I do wrong? do you not love kacchan anymore? I'm sorry#coming from kacchan bakugou at this point they're too far gone they can absolutely never go back#there's not the same history between deku and kacchan#and even deku - the name - wasn't really hated by Izuku anymore. katsuki chose to stop calling him that because he wanted to do better#(because Izuku deserves better. also because Izuku feels so much nicer on his tongue)#but kacchan? they both like calling him that and being called that. katsuki loves being kacchan he claims very loudly being kacchan#and of course. never complained about being called kacchan by kaminari#anyways I'm reading fanfic#not me saying you can't have izuku call kacchan katsuki in your fics and have it be a good thing!#but for me I think it'll always be kacchan#anyways. I 'need to write fic#mha#mad mha ramblings//#bkdk#bnha
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
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the trio redesigns or something idk
#byakuya togami#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#danganronpa#danganronpa thh#my arts#i didn't really change byakuya all that much bc unfortunately dgr ate with his canon design a lil bit in my opinion#he looks like a capitalist with a face u can punch already. all i did was crop his hair and idk if i even like that#kyoko on the other hand....gave her pants. as she deserves. but the boots kick ass so i left those. also gave her a haircut#debated between trench coat and cropped jacket but decided to go with the jacket since her talent is supposedly 'unknown' in the game#makoto i just gave him a hoodie with a chunkier zipper and some clover shoes#not very clear here but all three of them have acne. kyoko has acne scars. byakuya has the fewest but only because he uses concealer#ive got to draw more i cant keep drawing all my faves in the same o<-< pose forever
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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Can you imagine lucien opening the door to his manor only to find all his belongings from the spring court dumped on his doorstep essentially signifying that tamlin really doesn’t want him coming back and that any effort to reconcile their friendship is done and gone.What he doesn’t know is that tamlin is completely internalizing all the shitty things rhys said to him about deserving to be alone for the rest of his life and this is him accepting and believing that he really does deserve to be alone,that this is his punishment and he deserves it ☹️☹️☹️.
#fuck you rhys#i hate you so much#this shit actually makes me so upset because i knowww in tamlin’s head he’s thinking that he doesn’t deserve lucien#he doesn’t deserve someone caring about him or looking out for him#that lucien is better off without someone like him#a half wild beast who destroys everything he touches#so he pushes him away before he also leaves him like everyone else did#before he leaves him 😄again😄#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acofas#a court of frost and starlight#tamlin acotar#pro tamlin#anti rhysand#pro lucien vanserra#tamcien#rhys when i fucking catch you
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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End of Empathy (time for violence)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#jin ling#lan sizhui#We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc.#I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't.#But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3#Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute#but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it#like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.'#and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.'#'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe#The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die#XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed#plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong)#but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused#The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'
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