#He deserves it because he did so much
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Gotta talk about Nanami to cope. I thought he already died when Jogo burned him and was stunned when it was so short. This made it so much worse but there’s so much to this scene that I want to breakdown. I will never recover.
First, there’s the sharp contrast between the beach and Nanami half dead fighting Mahito’s transformed souls. It’s this contrast of ideal versus reality. It’d be nice to be somewhere else relaxing, but something about Nanami’s character is that he feels this duty to do what is right. He has to go help Megumi because that’s the right thing to do. Even if he's not in the state to do it. He can’t be daydreaming about beaches in Malaysia. And he’s so so tired. He’s already done so much but he continues to want to help others.
And Mahito, DAMN MAHITO, comes up behind him and reveals he was there the whole time. There’s so much futility in this moment. Mahito could have just killed Nanami instantly once he saw him, but he let him keep fighting. Fighting for what? Mahito was just going to kill him. This also enforces Mahito's character and how he's always seen humans as playthings.
Nanami feels this futility too. He doesn’t know why he even stayed in the jujutsu world. Then he sees his old friend. His friend who died too early to help anyone and who didn’t have the chance to do the work that Nanami did. And Nanami takes back what he said. He can’t regret what he did with his life when Haibara didn’t even have a chance at a life. Haibara embodies this sense of duty Nanami feels to do what is right.
"I shouldn't." Again, Nanami doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to die, but even in his final moments he tries to do what is right. Ideally, you would die peacefully, but Haibara points Yuji out. There's something Nanami still needs to do. He gives Yuji encouragement to keep going and stand up against Mahito.
And then Itadori has to watch Nanami die. He’s just had a breakdown after having Sukuna use his body to form a crater in Shibuya and feels lost. In his stupor, he comes across Nanami, who had guided him when he was still new to the jujutsu world. This is the last thing he needed. Gojo, the renowned strongest sorcerer and his teacher, is sealed and now Nanami, who acted as Yuji's mentor, is dead. And Yuji screams at Mahito. The music change from silence to intensity is wild as they begin to fight.
Since Nanami is my favorite character from JJK, this hurt a lot. There's something reassuring knowing he can rest now but painful that he couldn't do that in life. I loved him because his desire to help people stood out compared to other characters. He didn't enjoy being a jujutsu sorcerer, but it at least helped people. That's why he stayed. And it hurts so much when someone just wants to help people and meets their end because of it.
#I'm giving Nanami a big hug right now#He deserves it because he did so much#UGGHHHH I can't do this anymore#Nobara next week is going to be just as bad for me#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk#jjk spoilers#nanami kento#mahito#yuji itadori#pbear analysis
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How… Do I recover from this…?
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#i’m just… after the episode my mind went blank completely… and then i started sobbing… because what the fuck…#i feel even more heartbroken than i already did and literally can’t stop crying…#bruh i can’t… i’m completely shattered… i couldn’t take screenshots without stopping for few moments to cry over dabi…#he has suffered so much… endured so much… i feel sick to my stomach omfg…#and some of y’all want me to change my mind about endeavor??? HELL NAH I NOW HATE HIM EVEN MORE ACTUALLY#so congrats to all of you that wanted dabi fans to be more understanding toward the walking garbage: it didn’t work#and never will. he needs and deserves to rot in fucking hell
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Really have to assume that anyone saying hector didn't deserve to die the way he did didn't actually read the Iliad
#i mean first of all none of them deserved to die so jot that down#entire book is about how pointless and tragic war is#but beyond that hectors slaying of Patroclus#was just as dishonorable as Achilles killing hector#just because he failed to decapitate pat and feed him to the dogs#doesnt somehow make him morally better#also the fight over pats body did mutilate him to an extent#that corpse went through it#did hectors end up going through more?#probably#doesn't really change much#the iliad#tumblr showing me lukewarm takes at six am#my kryptonite#morning me does not know how to not write an essay about it#afternoon me is better at letting it go#homer#tagamemnon
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Pietà
#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#spoilers#Did it some time ago while reading trimax and didn't post it because I'm an idiot and forgot about it????#sooooo i'm posting it now because i miss stampede saturdays already MY GOD#anyway i had to cope with Wolfwood death in some ways since it ripped my fucking heart in the most cruel way#jesus... the way he screams and cries because HE'S HOME and then he dies with a gentle smile on his face#the way vash seems to mourn in silence and mantaining his composure#only to discover later that he actually had shortened his lifespan in a moment of pure grief and rage against knives arc#fucking poetic#i hate them so much i wish they had more time i wish they were happy they fucking deserved it fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#anyway iconographic religion imagery be upon ye i guess#oooooh there are so many christian paintings and sculptures to homosexualize :3c#chronart
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the trio redesigns or something idk
#byakuya togami#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#danganronpa#danganronpa thh#my arts#i didn't really change byakuya all that much bc unfortunately dgr ate with his canon design a lil bit in my opinion#he looks like a capitalist with a face u can punch already. all i did was crop his hair and idk if i even like that#kyoko on the other hand....gave her pants. as she deserves. but the boots kick ass so i left those. also gave her a haircut#debated between trench coat and cropped jacket but decided to go with the jacket since her talent is supposedly 'unknown' in the game#makoto i just gave him a hoodie with a chunkier zipper and some clover shoes#not very clear here but all three of them have acne. kyoko has acne scars. byakuya has the fewest but only because he uses concealer#ive got to draw more i cant keep drawing all my faves in the same o<-< pose forever
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Can you imagine lucien opening the door to his manor only to find all his belongings from the spring court dumped on his doorstep essentially signifying that tamlin really doesn’t want him coming back and that any effort to reconcile their friendship is done and gone.What he doesn’t know is that tamlin is completely internalizing all the shitty things rhys said to him about deserving to be alone for the rest of his life and this is him accepting and believing that he really does deserve to be alone,that this is his punishment and he deserves it ☹️☹️☹️.
#fuck you rhys#i hate you so much#this shit actually makes me so upset because i knowww in tamlin’s head he’s thinking that he doesn’t deserve lucien#he doesn’t deserve someone caring about him or looking out for him#that lucien is better off without someone like him#a half wild beast who destroys everything he touches#so he pushes him away before he also leaves him like everyone else did#before he leaves him 😄again😄#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acofas#a court of frost and starlight#tamlin acotar#pro tamlin#anti rhysand#pro lucien vanserra#tamcien#rhys when i fucking catch you
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Been seeing quite a few takes that Aqua's death makes this story "a tragedy like its always been" but the thing is. Oshi No Ko, excluding the final four chapters is not a tragedy. Almost every single arc has an optimistic ending, a silver lining through the clouds that plague the events that occur.
Ai dies but she fulfils one of her greatest desires as she does, she says "i love you" to her kids and is fulfilled when she knows that it is not a lie even though she dies, Ai still realises one of her dreams, arguably her greatest one. Sweet Today could have been a terrible drama leaving Kana, Yoriko and the fans of that manga in universe disappointed that it turned out so badly but through Aqua and Kana's efforts they manage to make the final episode a good one, bringing the best scene to life and satisfying everyone.
Love Now could have ended in tragedy with Akane, if not dead, having a ruined career but by the entire cast coming together, they manage to repair her reputation, giving her career back to her. Tokyo Blade would have been cancelled outright, leaving both author and scriptwriter hurt and disappointed (and referring to the events of the play Kana and Akane without closure and Kana continuing to diminish herself in her acting) but Aqua manages to jumpstart events that make the play better along with the efforts of the actors to make the play a good one.
Scandal could have ended with Kana going the same route as Ai or having her career destroyed but thats prevented by Aqua and even though the twins relationship was broken, Kana and Aqua do still come out of it with a saved career and stronger friendship. Even Private Arc with Ruby going black hoshigan mode still had the silver lining of Aqua getting a break for once (even the looming hammer of Hikaru Kamiki in the background). Only Mainstay arc really has an all around bad ending, with both the twins in revenge mode and Aqua and Akane with a terrible breakup but thats because it leads into Scandal and is set up for the Movie arc (we all saw how that went but this post isn't for that) so it's excused.
If I wave away the numerous and heavy complaints surrounding the Movie arc for a second, I can say that Ruby deciding to step out of her mother's shadow and move to the future deciding to be her own person and an idol in her own merit is a silver lining through that arc along with the RBKN conflict being uh. resolved (i have many issues with that part but again not the post for it. in theory this is silver lining though.). And subsequently Kana gathering the courage to resolve her feelings for Aqua (oshi no jokering rn). Even Aqua himself is filled with hope for the future as of 157.
Oshi no Ko was ultimately a story of moving forward and giving hope to the people around you, which is why this ending is so incredibly jarring. Aqua dying is inconsistent with every theme of hope and future that OnK puts forward along with desecrating the final wish of Ai herself.
This story wasn't a tragedy but Aqua's death is. There's no other way to read it, it is very much a horrific, senseless and preventable tragedy. He receives no fulfilment for any of his dreams, dies believing his only purpose was to be his sisters guard dog as his only divine duty and theres basically no respite, no silver lining for him (and possibly anyone else in the next two chapters).
Aqua's death makes this story a tragedy when it previously was not one and sends terrible messages as it does so which is why this is so shocking and jarring for everyone.
This story was not a tragedy, but now there isn't anything else you can call it.
#oshi no ko#i hate this i hate this so much#aqua deserved so much better than this#highly dislike the takes going around that aqua was at peace and this was okay because onk is a tragedy what the fuck are you talking about#no he fucking wasnt and onk did not used to be tragedy thats why this ending is bad! its thematically dissonant and sends terrible messages#its stupid its ridiculous and a really horrible ending#oshi no ko manga spoilers
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Sorry ive been so inactive recently, I have a life that I needed to get back to for a bit! I am returning with a new hyperfixation (i am seven years late)
I drew me and my friend’s favorite characters in a silly artstyle!! We are going through the game together and we are almost done with Chapter Four (i am so scared) (ignore how tiny Rantaro’s head is) (i rant in the tags beware)
#Me and my buddies favs are Rantaro (mine) Shuichi Kokichi and Kaito#Maki is there to finish the trio and Angie is there because I love her#No spoilers past chapter 4 please!!#Why does Kaitos hair look like that /gen /pos#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#maki harukawa#kokichi ouma#rantaro amami#angie yonaga#drv3#drv3 killing harmony#I also gave Rantaro sandals because he deserves them 💙 gone too soon#If you see style inconsistency its because i drew kokichi and co today and the other three yesterday lol#Question why does every fem character have a skirt#Giving Tenko and Himiko pants asap it works fine with the rest of their outfits but i did give Maki leggings too#Miu is so freaky why did they write her like that (we couldnt read half of her lines without feeling utterly confused) /silly#i love Keebo sm im so scared bcs he hasnt died yet#Is it Keebo or Kiibo ive seen both#No comment on Kiyo but i feel like his story could have worked a bit better if the implications were more present#Poor guy but at the same time i dont really like him (justice for my girls Tenko and Angie)#I love Gonta sm i love his obsession with bugs he is so silly#WHY DOES SHUICHIS VOICE SOUND SO EMO IN THE ENGLISH VERSION#Dont get me wrong the va didnt do a bad job i just really like the Japanese version more it fits his vibe so much better#Rip Kaede your death scarred me bcs i had never consumed dr content before starting v3 as a joke#Tsumugi. My behated. THERE IS NO WAY SHE IS THAT BORING FOR NO REASON#Kirumi was gonna snap eventually lmao i would have too /j#Rip Ryoma your love hotel is so depressing#v3 spoilers
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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End of Empathy (time for violence)
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan jingyi#jin ling#lan sizhui#We are back to the present! Honestly I think I'm going to try and truncate the rest of this arc.#I LOVE yi-city and I really appreciate all of the support the yi-city lovers have given me. And the patience of those who aren't.#But it's been two months. And I need to move this along </3#Anyways; I love the start of ep 3 so much. The worried concern of the juniors is so cute#but the crown jewel by far is wwx responding like a parent that's very hungover but trying so hard to be nice about it#like 'shhh shhhh guys hi I'm up now. Can you keep the volume down. Can you get me some water and my sunglasses from the glovebox.'#and of course the incredible wham line of 'Xue Yang Must Die.'#'Is YX irredeemable? I'm pro 'everyone is capable of change and deserves a chance.' So Im of the camp of 'if he had the opportunity...maybe#The issue is that this setting has no structure to provide those opportunities. You are perceived as a threat therefor you must die#XY is a very interesting parallel to the YLLZ because they both meet the same fate: outsiders determining that they need to be killed#plus both did war crimes. I know it's easy to forget the YLLZ actually did do some of the things he was accused of (most wrong)#but wwx also has blood on his hands. He also sought revenge in pretty twisted ways. Both were given opportunities to step away and refused#The difference is that we empathize with and like XXC & SL and A-Qing. The Narrative says they were wronged and that is an injustice.'
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Seriously how can M*r*uders stans like random Slytherins (who tf are Evan Rosier, Pandora (is that Luna's mum and why tf is she Evan Rosier's twin in half of these), and I don't even want to discuss Regulus) and make them Actually Misunderstood Good People Who Were Forced Down That Path when at least one of them *coughreguluscough* was obsessed with Voldemort
And then turn around and make Snape an awful person?
#i saw a post with hcs about the marauders and the “slytherin skittles”#and i swear to god they gave everyone a lil nuance but snape was evil#just... how?????#im starting to wonder if they just can't accept that the marauders were actually horrible people as teens#and so in order to digest that they need to make snape awful to be like “Oh but he DESERVED it because he's So Awful”#it's just ridiculous#like i hate james but i can also acknowledge that he did ultimately love lily and harry and would have been a loving partner and dad#even if he was a fool#and i don't vibe well with sirius but i also acknowledge that he was fucking traumatised so yeah he wouldn't be the best person#why is it so hard for the marauders stans to understand that their faves tormenting a geniunely innocent child#because honestly? severus was innocent from the start#they're the ones who pushed him over the edge#I've said it once and I'll it again:#being into the Dark Arts doesn't automatically make someone evil#anyway i need to go sleep#or at least try. i got very pissed lmao#severus snape#pro snape#anti marauders fandom#(not even anti marauders as much its their fandom that pisses me off)#also#anti james potter#(just because i want to be petty UwU)#snape defense#also you know what#anti regulus black#<-whoever he was it wasnt what the fandom said#in my mind he was one of the worst out of the black cousins from an early age#(mostly as a mental Fuck You to the stans lmao)
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dont normally post about drama but this seems relevant:
im seeing a lot of people jump to "james somerton was never good anyways" in retaliation for the hbomb expose, but there's a really fine line to tread there before you get into stepping on the toes of the people he stole from, you know?
some of his videos and analysis did seem genuinely intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and well-written. yeah, it turns out those are the result of him stealing from other people. but that doesnt mean the original writers WEREN'T intelligent, thoughtful, insightful and good writers. he had plenty of garbage opinions interspersed throughout, but the reason many people (myself included) were suckered in by him is that the queer creators he stole from DID have really important and interesting analysis. the parts of his videos that were good were stolen, but by discounting his essays entirely we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater and insisting those he stole from didn't have anything important to say.
the parts he himself supplied were trash, but he stole the work of some genuinely brilliant and insightful writers and passed it off as his own- and that writing still exists and is still brilliant and insightful; we just know now who was actually responsible for it and who to thank for that work
lets just be careful when we smugly proclaim that we always hated everything he had to say- because a lot of the words we're discounting were never his to begin with, and the last thing those authors need is to have their work trash talked because it ended up in the mouth of someone dishonest
#james somerton#hbomberguy#im just saying like#i liked a lot of points he made in his videos because it turns out he was never the one who made those points#now i can go seek out the original authors and Actually read the work that intrigued me in the first place#they DO deserve credit for their writing!#saying everything he ever made was garbage and nothing he said was worthwhile is such a disservice to those authors#they DID do really brilliant work#and then it was stolen and passed off as his#but their work still stands on its own merits- even more so now that i know#that much of the stuff i Disagreed with was his own opinions or tweaks and that the original work#is not bogged down with his bullshit#and can read it as originally intended#i think admitting that the writers he stole from Are really genuinely good writers and that the opinions he stole from them ARE compelling#is the least we can do to ensure that the authors don't feel like their work is irrevocably taken and tainted
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far and away my favourite thing about tsc was the direct parallels we got between neil and jean now that we've been allowed inside jean's head as well.
we have neil who's almost frighteningly self-sufficient; getting to grips with his surroundings when he moves to psu as soon as possible by going for long solo runs, not waiting for his teammates after he's done at the stadium, going shopping on his own for stuff on foot and only buying what he can carry back by himself, hitchhiking back from columbia -- the fact that he could have asked coach or any of his upperclassmen to come and get him not even occuring to him. but through forced proximity, he gets to know them more, and he gets to like them, and they become the people that he would do anything for, that he fought so hard to stay with.
on the other hand we have jean, whose time in the nest has had the adverse effect; he's never alone, he's hardly ever off-campus, and he's never had the kind of freedoms that you'd usually be afforded at college. the idea of living off-campus is horrifying to him, the idea of having his own room is unheard of to him -- and unsettling enough for him to want jeremy to move in there with him. jeremy shows him the way to the court but he's too disoriented to follow along properly because he's not used to being out in a city like this. for years he hasn't been allowed a life outside of exy and the nest, so he doesn't know how to be out in the world. he has no idea how to navigate it. he sees exy as his only purpose, so anything that doesn't seem to serve this goal is meaningless and egregious to him.
...but then there's jeremy, and cat, and laila.
idk, just, something something neil didn't realise how lonely he was until he met the foxes, and jean was painfully aware of how lonely he was despite being stuck with the ravens all of the time, and is now getting the chance to learn that it doesn't have to be like that with the trojans.
#i feel like neil looks at jean and can't help but see what he could have been#& jean looks at neil and can't believe he didn't have the good grace to stay hidden because wouldn't it have been so much easier if he did#and also they both pity each other but in opposite ways#neil's so determined to hold on to people because it gives him a vested interest in staying in line and he thinks jean deserves people too#whereas jean just thinks neil's making everyone he cares about a target and so isn't it better to not have any of that#because then you don't even know what you're missing out on?#UGH#the sunshine court#jean moreau#neil josten#tsc#tfc#emma reads tsc
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can we talk about the brilliant execution of Dot and Bubble's big reveal!!!
i am still absolutely gobsmacked by what a well-written episode Dot and Bubble is. startling, disarming, confrontational, and tremendously impactful. and holy shit i really really want to talk about how excellent the 'twist' (which really should've been obvious in retrospect 😭 was done):
as a white person it took me about ten minutes to clock that Lindy's friend group were a nightmare Aryan Tupperware Party collective: all white, all blue-eyed, and even Gothic Paul was dressed in blues and whites, with no black at all. but you know how i responded to that? mentally i went 'oh i'm sure it's nothing!' and shoved it aside. and i think it is exactly that insidious tendency to ignore, normalise, and validate overt and covert racism that the episode does such a tremendous job of tackling! everything in the episode gives us the lore we need to understand Lindy and the people of Finetime are white supremacists. Lindy's disgusted face and immediate blocking of The Doctor versus the amount of time she spends with Ruby. Lindy's shock at the Doctor and Ruby occupying the same room implying segregation on the Homeworld. Lindy calling the Doctor and Ruby 'criminals' not for being in the Bubble, but for breaking segregation. Lindy using Ricky September, a white influencer, to calm herself down not just from the monsters, but from interacting with a Black person. the tradwife aesthetic of the Finetime residents making a comeback in real-life right-wing racist circles. ugh, there's so much and it was all right in our faces!! yet many of us who aren't POC had the privilege of going through the episode baffled and uncomfortable, without being able to put a finger on why until the final bit of the episode. doesn't that tell us how quickly and easily we've all taken to ignoring both micro and macroaggressions? that we needed talk of being 'contaminated', improper use of the word 'voodoo', and Lindy straight up telling the Doctor that face-to-face contact was unacceptable, to understand they're white supremacists? oh my God 😭😭 what a genius play, to make Lindy so detestable from the start. she's an arrogant, vain, self-absorbed, moronic, uncompromising, traitorous bitch...and by layering that abhorrent personality and then giving us the reveal of her white supremacy, there is no argument even the most wishy-washy of people could have re: their awful views. Lindy and her friends are revolting racists who are so wrapped up in their own echo-chamber 'bubble' that they would genuinely rather be devoured alive than challenge their own narrow, bigoted views. i'm still blown away by the power of Ncuti's final scene. the disbelief, the frustration, the sadness and the fury...and yet the Doctor still tries to save them against all odds. i think the most common response to this episode was 'The Doctor should have gone all Time Lord Victorious on them', and you're right - he should have! but doing that would've affirmed the beliefs of the real-life racists viewers. the Doctor responding not with violence or righteous vengeance is a very deliberate writing choice: we are supposed to come away feeling revolted that he needed to behave that way, to almost be supplicant to the white supremacists. because that is the real-life view of so many people who don't even view themselves as racist: Black people need to 'perform' to a higher standard, than white people just to be considered worthy of respect. the more i watch it, the more i'm convinced this is the best episode of the whole season, and one of the best Doctor Who episodes we've ever had. we were taken off-guard by having an episode overtly about racism set in the future rather than the past, because our tendency is to assume equality is a natural consequence of becoming technologically advanced. this clearly isn't the case, and Dot and Bubble is a masterclass in confronting racism head-on rather than dancing around it for the comfort of white viewers. just. aaargh!!!! absolutely amazing 🔥🔥🔥
#talk about a much-needed slap in the face AND addressing the elephant in the room#this was an episode that did the Fifteenth Doctor so much justice and he deserves it all and more#i hope that in future episodes we also don't shy away from the Doctor's Blackness as a core aspect of his identity#and are able to discuss it with as much nuance and thought as this episode gave us 💖💖💖#bro you know it's good when the whole episode just eviscerated my desire to talk about Susan Twist's appearance because it's so juicy omfg#doctor who spoilers#doctor who#dot and bubble#15th doctor#fifteenth doctor#the doctor#ruby sunday#lindy pepper-bean#ricky september#ncuti gatwa#millie gibson#callie cooke#tom rhys haries#starleskatalks#long post
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