#Harry they really did rob you

[youngpettyqueen]

the thing is is that there's not a single conceivable in-reason universe to not promote Harry

[mayakern]

If you don't mind sharing, what happened to vanetta's ex Edmund and his new saintess gf?

oh boy, so, a LOT has happened here so BUCKLE UP.

(and here’s a picture of vanetta for context for the maybe 2 other ppl who will read this huge post, which i have tried to summarize)

TLDR: after vanetta “died” and was yeeted into time travel, edmund died and charlotte saved the world. but edmund got brought back… and he came back wrong.

but the full story is so much weirder than that:

the core conceit of this game is that we are time (and place) hopping every time the party levels up, and mostly this is pretty normal—someone who’s from an ancient time visits a future date and finds out their country no longer exists, someone from the future goes to an earlier time and is shocked by the severely lacking technology, etc etc

except for vanetta, who is not from the past or future. she is from a book series. and she has JUST discovered this.

our most recent time hop has taken us to a dystopian capitalist future that takes place in a big mall in outer space (think a combination of tron, zenon: girl of the 21st century, wall-e and other similar media), where our wizard comes from.

and as soon as we materialize there, vanetta is recognized as a “really high quality and authentic cosplayer” of, well. herself. the book series she is from (the briar path) is popular on a level that basically combines twilight, harry potter and the bible all in one. it is fantastically popular, but also pretty old, and also is continually getting remakes and re-releases and right now they are currently making a manga adaptation of it. and it has a very active fanbase that writes a lot of fan fiction. this is, somehow, incredibly plot relevant.

an npc shows vanetta the comic, which currently i think covers 2 of the books in the series, and it shows her being depicted as basically your typical shallow, unsympathetic villainess character. and it depicts her death: the moment when, on the ramparts of the palace she was meant to preside over, she is faced with an angry mob seeking her death on one side and the crown prince (edmund, her former fiance) and charlotte (the saintess, his new woman, who in the fiction of the book was isekai’d into the world of the briar path) on the other side. vanetta climbs onto the rampart and makes a big impassioned speech (aka a villain monologue) about how pathetic and horrible they all are and when charlotte makes a swipe at her, vanetta chooses to let it unbalance her, forcing charlotte to live on with the guilt of her death.

only, the real vanetta doesn’t die. she gets yeeted out of time and space with three other time travelers. and our story continues

anyway, back to present day, the manga adaptation has just reached the part of the series where edmund dies—something vanetta did not know about. but just because he died in the book doesn’t mean he died in real life.

see, edmund had some pretty devoted fans. and one of them, who thought edmund was robbed by the narrative, got into some ancient, evil magics and combining this with the immense power of FAN FICTION, he tried to bring edmund out of the novel and into real life, and in the process ended up fusing with him and also with a force called The Hunger, a roiling miasma of despair that was the ultimate evil in the novels.

and so they all fused together and became a new thing. a god. in fact, our yuan-ti paladin’s snake god. who uhh subjugates and eats all non-snake people. the creation of this god also uhh was a huge cataclysm that basically started the earth apocalypse that lead to everyone ending up in the sky.

vanetta has JUST managed to secure annotated copies of the entire series that include academic commentaries and notes on historical context and the first chance she gets she is reading them so hopefully i’ll get more info soon lol

[victusinveritas]

"The coming days will be ugly. Yet I feel it’s my job to remind you that, bad as this is, we are not Weimar Germany, and this is not 1933. Trump and his lieutenants aren’t battle-hardened trench fighters, they’re Elon Musk and a coterie of half-enthusiastic half-frightened billionaires who got rich gambling on apps to let you rate your classmate’s tits. Their foot soldiers are used car salesmen from Encino, not Freikorps. The United States is not starving to death and crippled by war, it’s irritated and anxious because its working people have been robbed blind by those same billionaires.

The one thing we do have in common with Weimar is that our fascists now find themselves at the head of a state that capitulated to them not out of enthusiastic consent but exhaustion, cowardice and above all a feeling that it didn’t really matter.

That last one, the feeling that nothing matters, the system is fucked, there’s no point in engaging or organizing- that is the most powerful weapon they have right now. Because that feeling stops you and everyone else from opposing them. From interrupting as they reach out, yet again, to take something you love or need.

But there’s a danger here too. In moments of stress and anger the desire to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING can be intense. And when we’re swept up in that mood the natural tendency is defaulting to the things we know best. The things we’ve done before. The marches and chants and poster-boards we’ve been walking and shouting and carrying all century long. Going back to those old tactics without iteration or acknowledgement of their limitations is a road to failure.

I’ve been to a lot of protests, starting at Zuccotti Park in 2011 and ending last year in Chicago, at the DNC. One of the most dispiriting moments of my life was listening to young anti-genocide activists vow to shut down the DNC, to “make it great like ‘68”. This was a reference to the 1968 DNC. Mass protests were ignited when the preferred anti-war candidate, Eugene McCarthy, was rat-fucked by Democratic party insiders in favor of Vice-President Hubert Humphrey. The protests were quashed violently with tear gas and truncheons. Protesters chanted, “The whole world is watching.”

It may have been then. But the war went on. Nixon won election, then re-election, and then finally pulled U.S. troops out of Vietnam after dropping enough bombs on South-East Asia to have ended several Third Reichs.

During one particularly bad night at the 2024 DNC, miles away from the event itself, a march of self-described “radical protesters” confronted the police while chanting “the whole world is watching” and I can say, unequivocally, it was not. The only people watching were me, several other journalists, and a handful of folks on Twitter. The police, as they kettled, maced and arrested members of the crowd, barely seemed to care. The DNC didn’t shut down. Kamala Harris was made the nominee. There wasn’t even a real anti-war candidate for party insiders to rat-fuck in her favor.

Garrison Davis, my colleague and friend, remarked to me afterwards that the DNC had been somehow much more depressing than its Republican counterpart a month earlier. He was right.

On the stage floor all the Democrats had to present were aging celebrities and Bill goddamn Clinton, drooling out the same platitudes that led us to the Trump era in the first place and doing their best to ignore delegates who walked out and slept in front of the convention center to protest the genocide in Gaza.

Meanwhile in the streets a lot of very nice, earnest people (alongside a handful of grifters) did the only thing they could think of doing after months of imbibing footage of war crimes. They walked around and shouted. The police and city largely let them, because they knew none of it was going to change a damn thing.

I’d felt tremendous optimism right after Joe Biden resigned, not because I loved Kamala but because it was something shocking, an upset, an experiment. Or at least it seemed that way at first. The DNC made it clear that Biden’s advisors and consiglieres, the powers behind the throne, still ran the show, and would not allow any real change. The rot had spread too far, spoiling the meat, spoiling everything.

It was my accurate belief in 2020 that the Democratic Party, broken as it was, had the numbers and organizational capacity to slow the spread of fascism for a short time. It was my inaccurate belief in 2024 that this might still be the case. I had hope because I’d lost any sense of actual productive optimism. We lean on hope when we have no ideas to brace ourselves against.

Hope, as George Miller reminded us, is a mistake. If you don’t fix what’s broken, you’ll go crazy. That’s where we are now, going crazy. Committed Democrats, the decent regular people who fill the party not the soulless shoggoths of capital who run things, are going crazy because they got what they thought they wanted for four years. We returned a “decent” normal politician to office, he kept the economy humming along, got us out of Afghanistan…and everyone still hated him.

Leftists are going crazy for different reasons. In 2020 this country saw the largest sustained uprising of its modern history and nothing, fundamentally, changed. In its aftermath, the oligarchs who control social media set to tweaking, buying or outright inverting their algorithms to ensure no similar movement would ever gain that kind of steam again. Their efforts have been largely successful.

And yet many organizers, be they progressive social democrats, communists, anarchists, whatever, are still stuck in the same loops. Behind each march to nowhere and tired chant is an equally tired hope. The social democrats dream of a giant, continent-sized Denmark, with cyclists replacing Ford Trucks, universal healthcare, good schools and a bevy of other lovely things both political parties will fight tooth and nail to prevent. The authoritarian Communists dream of a new October Revolution, but this one will work rather than just creating a new dictatorship that ages and dies within the space of a single human lifetime.

Anarchists tend to be very good at seeing the flaws in the logic and futility of the hopes of the previous two groups, but they are just as bereft of ideas for how to stop what’s coming. Some tendencies dream of collapse, of an end to industrial society and either living in the woods eating berries or some sort of solarpunk daydream, wildflowers sprouting from rubble. The latter is a nice dream but try offering either future to a single mom who can’t afford her 5-year-old’s insulin and see how she reacts.

Most of the anarchists I know define themselves as “helpers” before anything else. They’ll cheerfully admit they don’t know how to solve the big problem but they do know how to provide free eye exams to homeless people once a month, or do water drops down at the border so migrants don’t die of dehydration, or crowdsource insulin from their friends to help that single mom through a bad week or two.

If you are where we all are right now, bereft of ideas, staring down the barrel of a nightmare, those are good folks to know. Like everyone else, they’re defaulting to what they’ve been doing, but at least what they’ve been doing helps people.

The larger solutions to our common woes, if they ever arrive, will be something new. Something we haven’t tried yet. I feel very confident they won’t take the form of another march or involve everyone finally agreeing to be the same kind of communist/anarchist/whatever. Shawn Fain, chief of the United Auto Workers Union, has called for a General Strike in 2028, and that so far is the only clear plan I’ve heard anyone make that feels like it has a ghost of a chance.

It’s an audacious plan, and I recommend reading what Shawn’s laid out about it. But half of why I support the idea is because it IS audacious. The religious right got to where they are right now in this country by being bold. As I laid out earlier, fascists win because they always try, and this is something we need to copy.

Shit can be different, but not unless we’re willing to try different shit.

Many pundits and columnists were shocked and horrified by the massive and instant support for Luigi Mangione when he assassinated the CEO of United Healthcare. Both the tutting gatekeepers of traditional media and the actually-sweating oligarchs characterized this as evidence of bloodthirstiness. Some leftists did the same and interpreted support for Mangione as proof that the body politic did, indeed, have energy for an uprising.

I saw something different. More than the actual killing itself I think people were excited to see someone try something new. Luigi adopted a novel tactic, carried it out in a novel way, and in doing so he did more to punish one of the oligarchs bleeding us dry than the entre Occupy movement.

Novelty is the one thing that ties Donald Trump and Luigi Mangione together. The enthusiastic public response to both men’s actions and the simultaneous revulsion of traditional elites are mirrors of themselves. In 2024, Trump still had enough novelty to convince people that he might upset the apple cart in some way that benefited them. He rode a global anti-incumbent wave back to the White House.

The consequence of this is that he and his are now on their way to becoming the new establishment. This is an underappreciated downside of the fact that most legacy media outlets have started moderating their coverage of Trump, if not embracing him outright. He is being normalized. His toadies, Musk chief among them, are now our legitimate powers. What novelty remains will fade rapidly.

I suspect the same thing will be true of the copycats who follow in Luigi Mangione’s footsteps.

Most of his plagiarists won’t be good at what they do. At best newly heightened security will see Luigi’s plagiarists dropped before they can pull a trigger. At worse, innocent people will be killed or maimed by bullets and bombs that fail to hit their intended targets or do but with a lot of collateral damage.

I don’t know what the next new thing will be. But between Trump and Mangione there aren’t many old norms left to shatter. We are in a time of enormous potential. Many new things are about to be tried and as awful and bloody as the fallout from some of them will be we all have no choice but to strap in and roll some dice of our own.

The present is ugly, the future unwritten. The only way we’ll make it a better one is if we embrace boldness, creativity and, perhaps, a little overconfidence of our own."

-Robert Evans

[emsdevs]

Bear and Bug Overview:

a/n: here's just a general overview that i promised forever ago to give some more info about the au!! if you have any questions or headcanons PLS send them in 🙏 ask anyone i love talking about this au and i'd love to hear everyone else's thoughts as well 🧸🐞

masterlist | NHL Masterlists | Quinn Hughes Masterlist | Bear and Bug Masterlist

General:

Bug met the Hughes brothers when she was just a baby

Her parents are close friends with Jim and Ellen

She's one year older than Jack and they’ve always been the closest

She’s still always been very close with Quinn and Luke as well, just in different ways

Bug with Quinn:

Always kind to one another but had separate groups for a long time

Not necessarily ignoring each other, the age gap just had a bit of a difference

Bug admitted to Jack when she was 8 that she had a crush on Quinn

She begged him to keep it a secret

Quinn realized he had feelings for bug when he was 17

Ignored it for as long as he could

They got really close while they were both at UMich

Inseparable now, you won’t see one without the other

Unless Jack or Luke is stealing her away

They prefer quiet nights at home to going out

More than one date night has consisted of take-out and silently reading beside one another on the couch

Quinn WILL argue with Jack about spending time with Bug

That’s HIS girl

Bug with Jack:

Calls her "Bugger" more often than just "Bug"

Were literally attached at the hip for the first 18 years of their lives

Both cried when they said goodbye when Bug went to college and Jack went to New Jersey

Both can be INCREDIBLY dramatic

They feed off of each other’s energy

Jack pouts if he thinks Quinn has gotten more “Bug Time” than him

Will in fact steal Bug for hours/days at a time because she was his best friend before she was Quinn’s girlfriend

“I had her first Quinn” - actual quote from Jack when arguing about whose turn it was to hang out with Bug

Got really upset when Quinn and Bug told him about their relationship

Was actually projecting because he was already worried he was losing Bug because of their busy schedules

Had expressed those concerns to his mother AND to Luke prior to finding out about Quinn and Bug

They were literal menaces to society in their teen years.

Bug is a completely different person when she’s with Jack.

She fr lets her freak flag fly because her and Jack are partners in crime

Would definitely be the duo to rob a bank

Bug with Luke:

More likely to call Bug "Buggy"

Luke is Bug’s child. If she could adopt him out from under Jim and Ellen she would. That’s her baby.

Bug sneaks off to hang out with Luke when Jack and Quinn are too busy arguing over her to notice

“Wait where did she go?” - Jack

“LUKE!!” - Quinn

^^ Actual occurrence. Has happened more than once.

When she was little and Luke was a baby she would tell him her secrets because he literally couldn’t talk so who would he tell?

This is what started their little “tradition” of Bug telling Luke EVERYTHING

That’s why Luke was initially hurt that she didn’t tell him about her relationship with Quinn

He realized eventually that she had good reason and he had to respect that (emotionally mature king)

When he’s at UMich while Bug is still there you bet he runs to her room whenever he possibly can

Finds random excuses:

“I need to study and the boys are being loud downstairs”

“I don’t know how to cook. Can you make me food?”

“I’m trying to watch Harry Potter but people keep coming into my room. Can I watch it at yours?”

100% emotionally attached to Bug and is constantly prepared to fight either or both of his brothers if they hurt her again

taglist: @heartsforjh @devilinpradaheels @coldheartedmar @juxmi @puckmedude @alexxavicry @dancerbailey3 @hockey43 @madebyhappymeals @ccomandercody @kirajessie @beenucks

join the taglist

[dream-with-a-fever]

harry potter movies and how accurately they portrayed the character of ginevra molly weasley

philosopher’s stone: 8/10 book accuracy bc my girl is barely in this movie but she nailed that 2 seconds of screen time in her cute little pastel coloured outfit! but lost points bc we didn’t get to see her again at the end nor did we see the twins promising to send her a hogwarts toilet seat (comedy GOLD i tell you)

chamber of secrets: 7/10 because yes we got to see a few cute moments where ginny got to shine (like ‘leave him alone!’ ate that) but would’ve loved to see her trying to tell harry about the diary and the running joke about percy and his new girlfriend, and where was the singing valentine???? c’mon??? everyone sing it with me ‘his eyes are as green-’ ALSO when she’s sobbing at the end about how she’ll having to leave hogwarts and she’s just this tiny scared little girl and i just want to hug her like we deserved those scenes!!:!:! and harry not telling anyone the details of what happened to protect her (bc he worries she’ll be blamed entirely for the incident like he’s too pure i swear????)

prisoner of azkaban: 8/10 as ginny is not really featured much in this book at All but was still bummed we didn’t get that scene on the train when she accidentally sits on harry’s lap and we see that she is the only other person as badly affected by the dementors as harry

goblet of fire: 11/10 book ginny energy is STRONGGG in this film even tho she’s barely present in the book! her snarky comments and attitude was Perfect but still bummed we didn’t see the scene where ron almost gets her to go with harry to the yule ball and she refuses (like the angel she is) and sticks w neville

order of the phoenix: 1.5/10 honestly that might even be too high bc literally WHERE WAS SHE??? she gets a couple points for the reducto curse moment but that’s about it. no hint of personality, still openly crushing on harry (even tho she has a boyfriend and is able to be herself around harry now HELLO this was major character development) no ‘lucky you’ scene, no library scene, no ginny stepping in to play seeker for harry and WINNING, no bickering at the DoM, no impressions of umbridge, no joking around with her brothers and harry, like we were ROBBED

half-blood prince: -100/10 because what the FUCK? shoelaces? hidden random kiss in the RoR? zero interactions and suddenly harry is In Love? ginny saying about 5 words in the entire film? ginny is the LIFE of this book, harry spends page after page obsessing over her, where’s them playing quiddich at the burrow, joking around after practise, ginny crashing into the commentator’s booth, ginny defending harry about the potions book, harry KISSING her in front of the entire common room after SHE won the quidditch cup playing his position because his dumbass got detention like?,!:?! harry wanting to save his liquid luck to have a chance with ginny?? ginny and ron’s big argument? harry and ginny’s break up after dumbledore’s funeral?? instead we got ginny being a mute with zero personality, who feeds harry christmas pies, wouldn’t know a joke if it hit her in the face and initiates everything despite harry being the one making the moves in the book?!??!??! just abhorrent. ginny weasley i am so sorry for what they did for her.

deathly hallows part 1: -45/10 okay ginny was done so dirty, ginny kissing harry as a birthday present, like a GOODBYE kiss??? as a i-don’t-know-if-i’ll-ever-see-you-again-but-please-know-that-i-love-you kiss???? harry calling ginny the most real thing in the world? ron snapping at harry for leading ginny on? harry almost accidentally telling ginny his plans for hunting voldemort bc he always lets his guard down around her? harry getting jealous when krum shows interest in ginny at the wedding? harry staring at her dot on the marauders map and making sure she’s safe????? instead we got.. an awkward kitchen kiss with george present (um?), zero interaction at the wedding, neville standing up to deatheaters on the train but ginny sitting pretty next to him and saying nothing when SHE WAS LEADING THE DAMN RESISTANCE???????:?:?:?: give me a fuckin break

deathly hallows part 2: -75/100 so! much! wrong! with her portrayal in this film. not to mention she’s barely in it, but when harry comes back to hogwarts, they have that one moment where they stare at each other and that’s it???? that’s all we get?? the rushed kiss on the staircase was lowkey cute but without all the build up from previous films it was just like..? ok? in the book we get ginny pushing to stay and fight and no one can convince her to do it, except harry. he’s the only one she listens to. we get harry saying ginny has somehow gotten more beautiful since he’s last seen her? we get jealous ginny when cho offers to show harry the diadem? we get harry walking to his death and seeing ginny crouched over an injured child, trying to calm the girl down despite her own world having fallen apart and one of her brothers already being dead, we get harry nearly changing course and going for bellatrix instead of voldemort when he sees ginny in trouble? also the entire epilogue??? basically cut… like that scene was so wholesome and funny, and getting to see harry and ginny as this family unit was so nice?? a ROBBERY i’m telling you.

[ldrfanatic]

Slytherin Boys as Tortured Poets Department Songs

*in perspective of their relationship with you AND their personality. and why*

which ts album should i do next?

(mattheo riddle, draco malfoy, theo nott lorenzo berkshire)

slytherin boys masterlist works

mattheo riddle as Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

best lyric(s) - "I want to snarl and show you Just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." + "I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean. Don't you worry folks we took out all her teeth." + "That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched and I'm wrong."

explanation - Aside from the obvious reasons, I feel like it's not really talked about how damaging it would be to have Voldemort as your father. (or brother or any relative for that matter). To me, this song screams the rage of a person who's been judged their whole life for being a bad person, so they became a bad person. (I am what I am cause you trained me). Other students, most wizards, professors even, all look at mattheo like he's a bomb that's waiting to explode and it makes him really sad when he's a kid, but then when he grows up it just makes him angry. They should be afraid.

mattheo w/his partner - Now, with a partner, I firmly believe that he'd be closer to them than anyone. His partner would be the first person that actually tried to understand him and understand why he's as angry as he is all the time. mattheo really opens up to his partner and tells them about bouncing around orphanages after his mother got thrown into Azkaban for a few years and then going to live with the Malfoys where draco's father treated him like a bad seed that was poisoning his son even though he was doing that to draco himself. so mattheo really treasures the bond he has with his partner because they're the only ones that understand him and understand that he never wanted to become the dark lord's son, he just wanted to be mattheo but the world has made that impossible for him.

draco malfoy as The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

best lyric(s) - "I would've died for you sins, instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time." + "And in plain sight you hid but you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive."

explanation - later in life draco feels completely betrayed by his father. he really admired him and looked up to him as a kid (his parents made sure that he knew how important it was to be a Malfoy), but his father abused that admiration and now draco resents allowing him to manipulate him like that. draco felt incredibly robbed that his father didn't get sent to prison following the battle of hogwarts. he didn't wish to cause his mother any hardship, but secretly he was hoping that the defeat of voldemort would be his golden ticket to finally escape his father's dark shadow. also, i like to think that after harry potter defeated voldemort, draco never spoke to his father ever again. he still exchanges the occasional owl with his mother but he doesn't ever want to see his father again.

draco w/ his partner - draco's partner is someone who he can break down with. after years of being forced to mask his emotions under a cool facade, he's able to fall apart in his partner's arms and know that they won't judge him. they're one of only a few people that know that draco isn't just upset with his father because of his actions. he was upset because he felt like he'd been lied to his entire life and just wanted an explanation. later in life, draco feels incredibly self conscious about a lot of his earlier 'achievements' and if his father only doted on him as a child because he was raising him to be the dark lord's lackey. ultimately, draco really appreciates having someone to confide in, and the upbringing from his parents really makes him appreciate the way that you care for him without any strings or conditions attached.

theodore nott as Florida!!!

best lyric(s) - "So you pack your life away, Just to wait out the shitstorm." + "barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, well me and my ghosts we had a hell of a time." + "Little did you know your home's really only the town where you'll get arrested."

explanation - after the death of his mother, theo is obviously shaken up. he's actually quite fucked up for pretty much forever. he tries to pack all of his emotions inside and drown them out with drugs and alcohol. when he gets drunk, he doesn't have to deal with his mother not being here anymore. that's why it's not all that surprising when he starts hanging around with the children of death eaters. it is a surprise to him however when he returns to italy to visit his grandmother and she wants nothing to do with him.

theo w/his partner - theo and his partner give enemies to lovers (wild since I dont think i've ever written theo like that) but i firmly believe that he hates his partner in the beginning. why? theo's partner reminds him of his mother. their personality, their soft smile. it's all very reminiscent of his mother and he fucking hates it. At first. He doesn't like the way that being around you brings out the old theo. he doesn't want to lose you in fear that it'll feel like losing his mom all over again. but when theo finally does give into his feelings for you, he starts to cherish the ways that you remind him of his mother (and of course the ways that you don't). he often tells you about how he and his mother dreamed of escaping his father but were never able to.

lorenzo berskhire as Fortnight

best lyric(s) - "And for a fortnight there, we were forever, run into you sometimes, ask about the weather" + "and I love you, it's ruining my life" + "thought of calling you, but you won't pick up"

explanation - lorenzo spends his whole life desperately trying to escape his family. (i think he'd actually be one of the slytherins that fought against the death eaters in the battle of hogwarts). i think that lorenzo would have run away from home multiple times as a child just trying to escape and get some sense of normalcy. but i don't think that it ever would've lasted any longer than a day or two at most before he was found and brought back home (where his uncle was all too happy to try and beat lessons into him). because of this though, lorenzo would be the kind of person who's always trying to protect others.

lorenzo w/ his partner - because lorenzo is always trying to protect you and knows that his family would ruin you just to get at his emotions, when the death eaters take control of the ministry, he breaks up with you. he actually stays away from you for years following the war as well. all he has are his memories of his brief but happy moments with you. his love for you haunts him for this entire time. and then, he runs into you one day in diagon alley. it's a little awkward at first but the two of you actually rekindle the love that you once had and this time, he's all in.

---

4.23.24

wc 1.2k

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taglist

@moonlightreader649 @svt-dk97 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess

[kindaasrikal]

I got bored so now I’m slapping you all with Lloyd headcanons from someone who percieves him as a stupid teenager. Yippe.

Lloyd, despite everything, is the BEST when it comes to money. Especially with negotiations. If the original price of something is ‘unfair’ to Lloyd, he will make sire that price of 300 drops down to 20 bucks. No one understands how he does it, least of all Ronin who feels like he just got robbed of 280.

Lloyd’s hair is naturally blonde, the same shade as Wu’s, whose hair was exactly like Lloyd’s grandfathers, the Fsm. Misako, Garmadon, and Wu all already knew that Lloyd got the blonde from the Fsm, but Lloyd, oh poor innocent dumb 10/15 year old (early seasons, so right after the tea and after they met Misako) Lloyd, had a crisis over it. After finding out Misako and Wu were almost a thing, and having no idea how the Fsm looks like, he waddled over to Wu one night, tears in his eyes, and asks his uncle why he has blonde hair. Wu, not thinking much of it, was prepared to start explaining science to him as well as show a picture of the Fsm. Until, he saw the rhetorical worry and the accusation in Lloyd’s eyes.

“Ah…nephew. What are you really asking me right now?…”

“Wu…Garmadon is my dad, right?????” And Lloyd’s about to start sobbing. Wu had to sit him down, explain he would never, and bombard Lloyd with photo’s of the Fsm and young Garmadon, who looks exactly like Lloyd. Safe to say that the next day Zane began teaching Lloyd everything he should’ve learnt in school. Specifically science.

Lloyd, after losing his element by almost dying, learnt how to manually make his eyes glow. So sometimes it’s a dim light, other times he rivals a flash light. He loves using it in staring contests, he cackled the first tike he used it on Jay who yelped back and couldn’t see anything other than a weird shadow light thing for the rest of the day. Jay then bribed Zane to do that to Lloyd, who learnt his lesson to only ever flash his eyes at Kai.

Lloyd used to read fanfiction on Wattpad years ago in Darkley’s, so sometimes when he’s captured or in a situation, he starts narrating like a 14 year old girl with a crush on BTS/Harry Styles/One Direction. “My glowing green emerald eyes stared deeply into the abyss, hoping someone, anyone would come save me…and slowly, as my lean and strong body wiggled for freedom, I saw Fritz Donnegan-” “LLOYD I SWEAR WHEN WE GET OUT-”

Lloyd knows how to tap dance. To doom.

Once, Lloyd tried to be Spider-Man by using his element to make green lasso’s or smth. Little did he know he almost blew up half of Ninjago city when everything he grabbed with them started blowing up. You learn something new everyday. Though, the Commissioner didn’t like that excuse all that much.

Lloyd enjoys growing his extras two arms out and then hanging off of Cole’s back like how baby’s do with the baby carriers. He didn’t like that comparison all that much, Kai.

Lloyd is the type of person to do things so reckless, especially when it comes to emotionally attached villains. He will happily cuss out his dad when he’s on a oni rampage, yes he will go out and have coffee with Harumi, the girl who is knows to all of Ninjago city as the quiet one and call her “Salumi” the whole time, yes he will summon Morro and tell him all the cool stuff he did as the real green ninja, yes he will visit Pythor and give him snake food as a present. All of them are concerned and/or annoyed.

Not many people realised how much Lloyd looked like Misako until he wore her glasses as a joke. She started lecturing him about how bad his eye sight could get if he kept doing that, and all he said was “I’m not even human, i don’t count.”

Once Lloyd went to a place that prides itself for its inclusivity, and then had no idea if he should go to the mens bathroom, the dragons bathroom, or the oni’s bathroom. After taking a peak into the latter two, he quickly decided the mens bathroom is safer. Much safer. He dragged Nya to help him complain to the restaurant about there being no dragoni bathrooms around here and got free food out of it. So worth the embarrassment of saying “How am i supposed to reach the toilet??? HOW????”

[fkinavocado]

put a price on emotion

The Honourable Judge Styles has a dark secret. He prides himself on being notorious for his cutthroat sense of justice. But is he really any better than the ones he imprisons? Or is he a victim much like the ones he acquits?

Put a price on emotion - Masterlist, Author's Notes & Warnings / alternatively, read on wattpad

Prologue (word count: 1.1k)

“All rise. The court is now in session. Honourable Judge Styles presiding. Please be seated.”

The imposing man nodded to the bailiff and the other members of the courtroom as he took his seat at the bench. “Thank you, you may all be seated. Call the case.”

“Your honour, criminal case number 23234- People of Chicago, Illinois versus Grace Gwyneth Cohen for homicide.”

The judge did a quick scan of the courtroom as he opened up his notebook for his case notes, and landed his gaze on the defendant. She’d waived her right to a jury trial, which didn’t make any sense to him. It made much more sense for her to want a jury trial. Her chances of convincing that many more people of her innocence were exponentially higher than persuading the state’s notoriously cutthroat judge. 

The man usually presided over hung jury cases. It was his expertise, mostly because he was known for being just and, yes, cutthroat. In all the cases he’d presided over, not once did he have even a shadow of a doubt over who was in the wrong. He’d always served justice, he was sure of it, and as much as he’d have liked to have his innate judge of character take all the credit for it, he had to admit he’d not been this attuned before. 

It was hard to tell anymore, mainly because, well, it had been such a long time since… before. If anything, he could attest that he’d always had an affinity towards justice, doing the right thing, advocating for the right cause, but now, well, he could read right through the bullshit.

He could read people like open books. 

As could all vampires.

So, really, it was nothing special. What was special, though, was that not all vampires chose to put these sharpened abilities to good use. The fact that he’d chosen to do so was still something mind boggling to his… community. But Harry couldn’t fathom just doing nothing for all eternity, like they did. Sure, after a couple hundred years everyone kinda gets tired of trying to spruce things up. But he’d done it all- tried everything in the book- and at one point, you just need to try and give your existence meaning. And this, judging, was a way he could put his abilities to good use, in a meaningful way, giving him a sense of purpose.

And that was pretty valuable when you were immortal. 

And besides, he couldn’t lie; the added bonus of making humans squirm- particularly those that deserved to be crushed by the law- under his gavel, albeit metaphorically, was quite thrilling. 

But most of all, he enjoyed ensuring a bit of balance in this unfair world- the world that chose this existence for him. He’d not chosen this for himself, after all. He was a victim. He’d suffered a great injustice, maybe the biggest of them all- he’d been robbed of his right of living a normal life. He’d been forced into immortality, and there was nothing he could do about it. No one to turn to, no one to give him justice. There simply wasn’t any. And that had always bothered him deeply.

Sure, they had a system. The vampire that had turned him did suffer some consequences. But, really, there wasn’t much you could do to an immortal being to make them really repent. It wasn’t like they were going to be put away for “life”. You couldn’t exactly incarcerate someone for all eternity. The prospect of a death penalty was more of a treat than a threat to most vampires. And so, outside of being ostracised by their community, which ensured an even lonelier existence, there wasn’t much else a vampire could fear in this afterlife. Most of them stayed within lines and regulations just so they wouldn’t have to face the rest of eternity alone, be it as it may in a state of the art manor and not some dingy prison cell.

So what had made this young woman waive her jury trial? Had she not heard of his reputation? Looking at her, he recognized she was an outspoken person, a very headstrong personality, from the way she didn’t seem to pay any attention to her lawyer.

He recognized the defence attorney. He was someone the state had provided the young woman with, so he wasn’t her own choice. Their body language told him all he needed to know. She was not going to heed her council’s advice. He wondered if the man knew it too, but if he had to guess he’d say he was suspicious of it at the very least.

This was going to be tricky, Harry thought to himself as he narrowed his gaze and decided to proceed.

“Is the accused in court?”

“Yes, your honour,” the bailiff announced.

“Alright, arraign the accused.”

The young woman was brought to the defence panel, the bailiff addressing her “You are the accused in the trial number 23234 entitled People of Chicago, Illinois versus Grace Gwyneth Cohen, and the information charges you of the crime of homicide committed as follows: that on the night of 27 of July, current year, in Chicago, Illinois, the above named accused, with intent to kill, did then and there, wilfully, unlawfully and feloniously attack, assault and employ personal violence upon the person of one Silvian Montgomery, by then and there stabbing him with a sharp silver switchblade on the right portion of his torso, thereby inflicting upon him a serious and mortal wound which was the direct and immediate cause of his untimely death as per the autopsy report conducted by the state appointed pathologist. Contrary to law. What is your plea?”

“Not guilty.”

“You will address the bench in doing so.”

The young woman cleared her throat and turned to face the judge who was watching her intently. She took a quick breath, meeting his icy glaze. “Not guilty, your honour.”

“The accused enters the plea of not guilty, your honour.”

The young woman rolled her eyes ever so slightly, muttering something about how she’d literally just said that. And she’d been subtle about it, but Harry was extremely observant. And his preternatural hearing capabilities didn’t hurt, either.

But he was willing to let it slide, because, well, he had an affinity for innocent people.

It felt a bit like cheating, this whole ordeal, a feeling he wasn’t accustomed to. Because he was about to preside over a case knowing the outcome from head start. He knew what his verdict would be. He knew before he’d even been assigned the trial.

Not guilty.

Chapter 1

A/N: well, well well. the day has finally come. i've been planning on this fic for over a year now! i was going to post the epilogue for halloween, but life got in the way. in a way i'm glad i didn't because, well, this isn't just another vampire fic to me. it's so much more than that. it's smutty (of course), it's angsty (duh, it's me), but honestly... for a guy whose heart stopped beating a long time ago Harry sure doesn't act like it. and as for the original main character this time around, Grace... well, we'll just have to discover her alongside Harry, won't we ❤️

beta'd by the lovely @adorebeaa ❤️

special bday gift for @freedomfireflies ❤️ btw the name i chose for the mc is coincidental 😅

💕 like & reblog if you’re enjoying this, lovelies, and most importantly, please come share your thoughts on it here 💌

🧛follow me on wattpad to get notified whenever i post something new/update!���‍⚖️

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 8

Hello! It does look like there is only one more chapter to write on Paper Hearts so yay!!! I'm not sure how much longer Sweet Home Indiana is but it's nearing it's end too.

Steve is never going to go to another party after this, Eddie gets book two of the Boy with a Bat, and they have a frank discussion about how Eddie gets paid for his less than legal side gig.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

trigger warning: homophobic language by an OC.

****

At least the swim team knew to how to throw a party. Lyle was hosting and even though his family wasn’t well off, not like Steve’s parents, there was still enough room for the whole team and a few of their friends to have a good time.

Granted there wasn’t any booze, not openly anyway, but there were ice chest after ice chest of canned sodas. And all kinds, too. Steve was on his third Coke and had already sussed out the dude with the beer and was working his way over.

Going right up to the guy was asking for trouble that neither of them wanted.

The music wasn’t too loud, but you could dance to it in the main part of the house. People were actually laughing and having fun.

Which really should have been Steve’s cue. The universe was out to get him and wouldn’t let him have a moment’s peace.

He had almost reached the guy with the beer when Ezra blocked his path.

“Hey, Steve,” he greeted syrupy sweet. “I’m so glad you made it out. I wasn’t sure if you would come without Eddie Munson.”

Steve frowned and tried to move around his co-captain. “I go lots of places without Eddie. I went to nationals without him, didn’t I?”

Ezra put his hand on Steve’s chest to stop him. “Sure you did, but we didn’t win nationals now, did we?”

Steve looked down at the hand on his chest. “We swam our hearts man, the other teams were just better. Hell, that team from Georgia was on fire.”

Ezra snorted and rolled his eyes. “They only got where they were because they were black. They didn’t have any real talent. Not like us. Not like you and me, Steve.”

“Are you saying Lyle and Nick held us back?” he asked with his brow furrowing deeper in his confusion.

“We’ve always known that Lyle is a strong swimmer and not a fast one,” Ezra moaned waving the drink in his other hand around. “But he’s all this shit town has on offer.”

Steve gently pushed Ezra off of him. “Hey, how about not talking shit about the actual host, man.”

Ezra rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he huffed. “That’s not even why I’m over here. I’m here to warn you about Munson.”

And there it was. Everyone in his life had felt the need at some point in the last six months to warn him off the super senior.

The other boy leaned in close, his lips a snarl. “He’s a queer, a little faggot boy,” he hissed, the spit landing on Steve’s face. “It’s the town’s worst kept secret.”

Ice slid down Steve’s spine. Oh shit. Of all the places he thought the other co-captain was going to go, that was not it. Drugs. DND. The ranting on table tops. All that slid away to sheer terror.

“And you better not bend over in the showers,” Ezra continued, “a pretty thing like you would just be his type.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Wha–what do you mean?”

“Everyone knows that if you can’t pay for your weed,” Ezra sneered, “that he’s willing to take a blowjob as payment instead.” He leaned further into Steve’s space, so that they were almost touching, the stench of weed radiating off the other boy in waves. “I saw Harry Masters sucking him off for a gram of the good stuff.”

Steve stomach lurched and swooped, bile rising up in his throat. Harry Masters was on the baseball team. He was tall, good looking, with that devil may care charm of Rob Lowe. Looked like him, too.

“What he does or doesn’t do doesn’t effect me, man,” he said, trying to aim for nonchalant and missing by a mile.

Ezra laughed in his face.

“Dude,” he cackled, “if you didn’t want people to think you’re down bad for ‘the Freak’ maybe rein in the eye fucking. I’ve seen the way you look at him and it makes me sick.”

That was when Steve got it. He had been wondering what the hell this conversation was.

“Oh my god!” he laughed. “Fuck, man, you were scaring me for a second there. You’re just jealous I don’t have the hots for you.”

Ezra pushed him. “The fuck I do, Harrington!”

“No, no!” Steve crowed. “I’ve got it all figured it out. All the times I caught you staring at me, all the times I felt someone watching me, all the times you’d try to keep me late after practice. You wanted me all to yourself.”

His co-captain turned purple with rage and swung at Steve, but before he could even flinch, there was someone at his side, holding Ezra’s wrist to keep the hit from even going anywhere near Steve’s face.

“Eddie!” Steve breathed. “What are you doing here?”

Eddie smiled at him with that soft dimpled grin Steve loved. “Hey ya, Stevie. I was just plying my wares when I heard the commotion and came over to make sure you were all right.”

“So you are my good luck charm,” Steve said brightly.

Ezra wrenched his arm out of Eddie’s hand. “This doesn’t concern you, Freak!”

Eddie leaned in close and cocked his head to the side. “It does, because you were talking shit about me and Stevie, here. And as Stevie’s good friend, I’mma gonna come to his rescue. Now, you’re going to skedaddle on home and sleep all this off.”

Ezra spat in his face. “Or what?”

The older teen just smiled menacingly. “Or else that gram you smoked will be the last you ever smoke, because I’ll report to you for doping for matches.”

Ezra paled and he gulped. “You can’t do that! I’ve never done anything but weed.”

“That’s true,” Eddie admitted. “But they’d have to do this big investigation and your name would be dragged through the mud. Or you could toddle off and go to college and leave this town in your rearview mirror.”

Ezra turned on his heel and ran out of the house as if the hounds of hell were on his tail.

Steve shook his head. “You do know this is where all the allegations about you being a devil worshiping cult leader come from, right?”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “They can think all they want.”

*

Eddie and Steve talked about what Ezra had said about how people make payments for their weed.

“I won’t deny that people have offer to blow me or even have sex with me in exchange for drugs,” Eddie said as they lay curled up on his bed. “But I’ve never taken anybody up on that.”

Steve twisted his head to look up at his boyfriend. “I can’t say I’m not pleased to hear that, but is there a reason why?”

“Several,” he admitted pulling Steve in closer. “One is that there is an actual fucking pandemic going on regarding gay men, and I wouldn’t trust those assholes even with a condoms. Another is that if I say yes to one, then I’ve got to say yes to next guy. And as my supplier wants actual cash for his product, blow jobs aren’t currency in any country I know of. And despite what Ezra said, most of the people offering aren’t men.”

Steve hummed as he snuggled under Eddie’s chin. “I can see that. Any other reasons why you won’t?”

“Does having a super hot boyfriend count?” he chuckled.

Steve kissed the underside of his jaw. “That’s a very good reason.” His hand slipped down his boyfriend’s side and to his belt. “A super hot boyfriend who is very grateful for the rescue.”

Eddie moaned as Steve’s fingers ghosted over his zipper. “Yeah and how are you going to show that gratitude?”

Steve slid down Eddie body and undid his belt. “I was thinking it was such a shame you didn’t get those blow jobs when your cock is so delectable.”

Eddie gasped and threw back his head as his super hot boyfriend’s breath felt hot on the front of his boxers. “God, baby. Show me what you’ve got.”

And Steve spent their evening doing just that.

*

Steve fidgeted nervously at Eddie’s locker after school. He had finished the most recent comic with only a week of school to spare. He had made sure that Jonathan and Nancy weren’t staying after school for any reason so they didn’t see him make the hand off. He knew he should have just done it at the trailer, but with him cutting it so fine before the end of the year, he didn’t want to make Jeff and the others wait for it.

Eddie loped over to his boyfriend and looked around. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”

He thrust the comic at Eddie, his eyes downcast. “It’s the most recent comic. There’s an explanation like before. But please don’t let people see that part.”

Eddie cradled the comic to his chest. “I’ll be careful, I promise. I’m guessing this means you aren’t coming over tonight?”

Steve shook his head. “Lucas wants to go see the latest Bond film, but his friends don’t want to go with him...”

“So you offered to take him,” Eddie finished. “That’s sweet of you.”

Steve snorted and shook his head. “His parents think I’m taking him to ‘Meet the Littles’ or some shit like that.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Yeah, that’s more like the Steve Harrington I know and love.”

“I’ll call when I get home, though...” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair.

“Okay,” Eddie murmured. “Well talk then.”

*

This time Eddie went straight to the back page to read the explanation first.

“Hey, Eds,

Again there are parts in between this, parts that don’t include me, that I’ll some day tell you all about. But I’m focusing on the parts I was part of. This time it all started with what the kids thought was a new species of lizard and turned out to be the beginning stages of an Upside Down monster. One they they dubbed the demodog.

I can just picture you frowning as you try to remember where you heard that from and the answer is you heard it from me. You asked me what it was and I told you it from one of their game thingies, but that’s only part of it. These demodogs have flower faces and run on four legs. They are part of a hive mind that allows them to communicate with each other.

Dustin had taken one of these things home and it ate his cat. His cat. You can be disgusted, I know I was. He had originally gone to Nancy’s for help but she had gone off with Jonathan about something related to Barb Holland. This was right after our fight at the Halloween party.

I was on my way with roses to apologize to her, when he intercepted me. And the rest is as they say is history. I would do anything for that kid now.

The other players are Lucas Sinclair and Max Mayfield. I don’t know if you need to know that, but I feel like you have to understand that for the rest of it to make sense.

I have so many tales to tell you but I can’t because it could get you hurt and that is the last thing I want to do.

Also, (blurred words) show you all the times I was brave, that I did the (more blurred words) when it came (blurred words) because I love you so much and (blurred words again) less of me.

Love,

Your Stevie”

Eddie hated how easy Steve had pegged him for frowning at the name like he said he would or how he knew he would be disgusted at the poor cat. He stared at the blurred words for a moment before his own eyes welled up.

Steve had tried writing over the parts with what were clearly tear drops but all it had done was make it worse. Why he didn’t just write again, Eddie didn’t know.

But Eddie could now make out the words, “Also, I wanted to show you all the times I was brave, that I did the right thing when it came to it, because I love you so much and I didn’t want you thinking less of me.”

He flipped back to the beginning and started reading. It was thrilling and exciting. That was if you didn’t know it really happened. And happened to the sweetest boy he had the privilege of knowing.

He wiped away his tears and made a promise to whatever it took to protect this boy with every fiber of his being. Because by god, someone had to.

****

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson

@messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi

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@vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer

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@acingthecounts @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @kultiras @ravenfrog

[destielaureversebb]

Coming soon for the @destielaureversebb: “And All The Devils Are Here” 

Author: @entropic-saudade Artist: @basketcasebetty

Rating: Explicit Archive warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con Length: 25,000 words Tags:  Murder Husbands, Torture, Cannibalism, Necromancy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat Relationships: Dean/Castiel, Harry Spangler/Maggie Zeddmore, John Winchester/Mary Winchester, John Winchester/Kate Milligan, John Winchester/OFC, Zachariah Adler/Naomi, Gabriel/Kali, Brief Dub-Con Dean Winchester/Others

Summary:  

A road trip across America turns into Hell on Earth for the Ghostfacers when they pick up a hitchhiker named Dean on their way to Captain Castiel’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen. 

The fallout is as bloody as it is horny, as nothing—not the law, not prison, not the Devil himself—can keep Dean and Cas apart. 

Inspired by Rob Zombie’s Firefly trilogy.

Excerpt: 

“So what’s your brilliant plan?” Cas asked, looking over at John, with a possessive arm over Dean’s shoulder. In the cramped cabin of his truck, Dean had to sit sandwiched between them. 

“Ice cream truck up ahead,” Dean murmured under his breath, with a note of hope. 

“We should make a pit stop, take a moment to regroup there,” Cas suggested. 

“We need to keep going,” John said. “Gotta get to the desert before nightfall, pick up supplies. The longer we’re out here unprotected, the worse off we’ll be if we get caught.” 

“Come on, it will only take a few minutes,” Cas argued. 

“We need to save the cash we have on hand.” 

“I’m sorry, ‘we’? That’s my hard-earned money you’re talking about,” Cas pointed out. “What did you bring, aside from this overcompensating eyesore of a vehicle?” 

“Well, I was kind of too busy taking fire and defending my home to grab anything else—where were you two?” John shot back. 

Cas returned his glare, unwavering. A slow, lewd smile spread across his face. “Do you really want me to answer that? Because I can and will go into detail.” 

*** 

Dean slurped what was left of a popsicle—the cheapest thing on the dinky truck’s menu—off the stick with contentment. Cas ran a finger down Dean’s neck to catch a droplet of stray juice and licked it, grinning smugly at John. 

“Goddamn clown,” John muttered. “Makes me miss Hell.” 

Cas cackled. 

Dean leaned forward, turning up the music to drown them out before they started fighting again. 

“Well, sweet-a little sista’s high in Hell, cheatin’ on a halo!”

Posting date:  March 3, 2025

[tyrantisterror]

Wife Goals: The Princess, aka The Shifting Mound, aka Shifty

Alright, fuckers, we're finally at the end. After covering Karlach Cliffgate last time, there's one last fictional woman I'm going to profess my parasocial love for in this cringe display of emotional honesty. And our last lady here is, I think, the perfect one to end on.

Slay the Princess is, in my personal opinion as an eternally lonely deranged freak on the internet, the best love story ever told. And I love a lot of love stories! I know I don't talk about it very much, on account of me being a lonely deranged freak who's deeply ashamed of their own loneliness and all, but I do, I really do! I love Pride and Prejudice (the book and the Colin Firth miniseries specifically, not too fond of the Kiera Knightley version), I love Much Ado About Nothing, I love The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally and so so SO many Chivalric ballads and, like, I just love love stories man!

But they're all shit - ALL OF THEM, EVERY ONE, it's shit! - compared to Slay the Princess.

To talk about the titular Princess, I'm going to have to spoil, like... a LOT of this game, and while I usually don't give much of a shit about spoilers, I will admit that figuring out exactly what sort of weird supernatural nonsense is going on in this game's story is extremely fun, and since I imagine many of you haven't played it yet but REALLY SHOULD, I don't want to rob you of the opportunity to find it out for yourself. So I'm going to give a more or less spoiler-free pitch to begin with (in that what I'm going to describe is literally the setup of the whole game), and then give you copious warnings before I get into the guts of this whole ordeal, ok? Ok!

Our story begins with you, yes You, the player, walking on a path in the woods. At the end of the path is a cabin, and in the basement of the cabin is a Princess. You are told by a very much diegetic disembodied voice you call the Narrator that your job is to slay this princess. If you don't do this, the Narrator tells you, the Princess will end the world.

Ok, so, you probably have some questions. You're given a smorgasbord of ones to ask - who locked the Princess in the cabin, why and how will she end the world, why do YOU have to kill her, why can't we just leave her in the cabin, where are we anyway, how did we get here? To which the Narrator essentially says, "Don't worry about it, focus on the very simple and clear-cut task at hand, stop asking so many reasonable questions!" in the most condescending way possible.

Eventually a second voice manifests, called The Voice of the Hero by the game's interface, and asks you a question: "We're not going to go through with this, right? We're supposed to save princesses, not slay them." And, really, that's the first big question this game is forcing you to answer: are you going to hate and kill someone just because someone told you to, or are you going to try and give that woman in the basement the benefit of the doubt at the risk of ending the world?

This setup is more or less the story - there is You, the Narrator, and the Princess. Those are our three characters. You have a cabin in the woods. You have a task you're assigned to do: slay the princess. Everything that follows is about fleshing out these elements in as many different ways as possible, and you, the player, choose how you explore those elements. There are a lot of questions you'll want answers for, and a lot of questions the game will ask of you in turn. That's it, that's the pitch, and if you're like me, you should be quite intrigued.

Ok, so... to actually talk about the Princess I'm gonna have to, like, go through a whole playthrough with you guys. See, her characterization is so thoroughly tied with the story itself - the game is quite literally about exploring who and what she is, as well as who and what You are in relation to her, so it's hard to talk about her without also talking about the choices You, the player, make.

You get to the cabin. Inside there is a dagger, the Pristine Blade, which the Narrator tells you to pick up and use to kill the Princess. This is your first big choice - if you believe the narrator might be telling the truth, even just a little, you'll take the blade. But if you decide to truly give the Princess the benefit of the doubt, to believe she is a person who is entitled to be understood on her own terms, you'll leave that blade on the table to the Narrator's incredibly pissy protestations.

And, like, personally speaking, I never fucking touch that blade in my first run. When someone tells me to hate someone I don't know and refuses to give a reason beyond vague "Well she's Bad and Evil" bullshit, my gut instinct is that they are full of shit. This is a woman locked in a basement and a pushy asshole is telling me to hurt her, I know who the villain and victim is in that scenario and it's not the woman in the basement.

So You/I/The Player goes down into the basement without the Pristine Blade, and out comes a sweet, pitiful voice of a woman who has been trapped in a basement and is hoping for an escape. You go down and see she's just, like, a woman. A pretty woman, even - ok, maybe a kind of disconcertingly pretty woman, with eyes that are a bit too large and a button nose that's a bit too cute and a dress that's, like, the twee picture of what you'd expect a fairy tale princess to wear, but she's still, like, just a lady! She begs you to rescue her, but you've still got all these questions about the situation, and she's the ONLY character you've met so far who you haven't asked them to yet.

And while the Princess tries to answer as best she can, there are certain questions she struggles to come up with an answer to. Basic questions. You ask her what her name is, and she tries to dodge, "You can call me Your Royal Highness or just Princess if you like!" Continue to ask she'll admit she doesn't know her name, offering the explanation that she's been down here so long with no one to talk to that she must have just... forgotten it?

Which brings up more questions - how has she survived down here without anyone else? What does she eat? How long has she been down here, really? And she has no answers to them. You don't know if it's because she just doesn't know or if she's lying to you - and if she's lying to you, you don't know why, because yeah, it COULD be that she truly is a monster that will end the world, or it COULD be that she's a woman who's been trapped in a basement and approached by a stranger who, rather than free her immediately, decided to grill her with questions about her nature and purpose, and she's worried if she answers wrong you'll leave her or, worse, kill her. Because, really, can she trust you in this scenario any more than you can trust her? You're the one who was sent here on a mission of assassination, remember.

If you're me, you decide that the benefit of your doubt still lies with this woman. So you try to free her from the shackle holding her down here. It won't budge, so you go upstairs to look for a key - or at least, you try to, until the door slams and locks, leaving you trapped in the basement with her. The Princess, realizing you're now trapped, decides to do something desperate, and begins gnawing on her own wrist like a fox in a trap.

You hear a clatter on the stairs. The Pristine Blade has fallen downstairs, somehow. The narrator urges you to slay the princess with it. But if you're me, you STILL side with her, especially with how the narrator has gloated about how you've been trapped down here for Not Doing What You're Told. The Princess offers her wrist to you, and you help her, uh... cut her hand off... so she can be free.

It's a lot grislier than you hope, but you did it. You freed this woman. The Narrator is pissed, and demands that you kill her while her back is turned. Suddenly the only options in your user interface are "Slay the Princess" repeated over and over - well, almost, for nestled within the HUGE list of "Slay the Princess" prompts is one that says "Warn her." If you're me, you pick that one. The Princess sees you struggling against an unseen force that's making you try to kill her. The Narrator forces you to try again, with the same dirty trick - but once again there's a hidden option: Resist. The Princess realizes that you're struggling as best as you can, but you won't resist forever. As you hold the blade out in your hand, struggling not to stab her with it, she takes it, looks at you apologetically, and stabs the shit out of you instead.

Everything goes dark, and you die...

...then you're on a path in the woods again, and at the end of that path is a cabin, again, and in the basement of that cabin is a Princess, again, who the narrator tells you to slay, again.

BIG SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

You go back to the cabin and it's... different. The exterior looks the same, but the interior is nicer, more fairy-tale esque. And you've gained a new Voice as well - in addition to the Voice of the Hero, you've now got the Voice of the Smitten, who sounds and acts like a fairy tale Knight in Shining Armor who is oh-so, well, smitten with his darling, perfect, did-nothing wrong princess. You go down a cozy, pleasant set of Fairy-Tale style winding stairs into a dark but nicer basement than before, and waiting for you is... well, it's the Princess, but she's changed. Like, physically - she's cuter, her dress is fancier, her build is, uh, bustier, her voice is more high-pitched and giggly, and she regards you with utter affection, because you're her smitten knight in shining armor.

She is, as the chapter title that showed up right before you found yourself back on that path in the woods, The Damsel in distress.

She regards you as a savior, and in gratitude wants to repay you. You ask her about what happened after you died, and she responds blithely with what you already know: you died, then you came back. You ask her whether she destroyed the world, and she asks what you want her to have done. If you say you didn't want her to destroy the world, then she didn't destroy the world! : ) When you ask how you can free her without, you know, getting stabbed to death, the Voice of the Smitten argues that her dainty wrist will just slip out of that shackle easily, which it does. The Narrator tries to lock you down again, but the Smitten says you merely need to believe in the power of your love, and sure enough it opens, to the Princess's delight.

And it's all just too saccharine, isn't it? To easy, to inauthentic. It's even a bit distressing, actually, because the Princess you met before had a personality and will of her own, and the self-preservation instincts to question your intentions. This Princess, this Damsel, is acting completely dependent upon you - she's giving up her agency.

But maybe that's the solution? You consider if you could just stay in the cabin - that way the Princess won't "destroy the world," but you won't have to Slay the Princess. The Smitten agrees, but the Narrator doesn't - and neither does the Princess. If you try to explain why it works, she looks at you with fear for the first time and says the obvious - nice as you are, she doesn't know you, and asking her to stay with you forever and never see the world is fucked up, isn't it? Why can't she get to see the world?

The Voice of the Smitten freaks out at the idea that his love isn't enough to convince her to completely give up her agency, and that's really what this change has been for her, isn't it? She's given up her agency so You can become a Knight in Shining Armor rescuing a defenseless damsel. And as the new voice of your Chivalric Romance Fantasies flips the fuck out and tears your chest open to reveal your heart, you and the Princess both realize how twisted this seemingly pleasant fantasy is. Everything goes dark, and you die...

...and find yourself inside a castle. Not really a cabin, anymore, but a castle. No path in the woods, you've skipped that this time, just a beautiful castle with a new voice in your head to replace the Smitten, who's grown... oddly quiet. You go up the stairs this time, not to a basement but to a lavish dining room, where the Princess, now in an even FANCIER and more poofy fairy tale gown, sits at the far end of a long table. The Pristine Blade hangs on a chain over her neck, its sharp end pointing directly over her heart, and an ominous, bird-like shadow hovers above her, its talons over her shoulders.

You, your voices, the Narrator, and the Princess are forced to act out a Happily Ever After. You share a delicious feast, and when you're done you eat it again, and again, and again, until what once tasted delicious begins to feel like sand on your tongue. You play board games, again and again, until you grow utterly bored with them. You realize with mounting horror that this "paradise" is never-ending, a fact that breaks the Narrator more than anyone else - for some reason, seeing this never-ending Happily Ever After really destroys his morale. The Princess is clearly unhappy too, but feels too defeated to offer any resistance. She probably wouldn't even resist if you just reached over and shoved that knife into her heart...

But if you're me, you don't. Instead you make the choice you were trying to make since the beginning: you take her hand, and offer to get her out of here. The Narrator doesn't even complain this time - he's seen that there are fates worse than the end of the world.

The Princess stops you at the door and asks whether you still think you love her after you endured all of this on her account. You can in turn ask her what she really wants, and she explains that all she wants is to escape this cabin and dance under the stars. So you take her out, and she dances, free thanks to you...

And the stars go out. The world fades away. The Princess grows cold and still, and dozens of disembodied hands emerge from the void to pull her into it. The world, as you know it, is at an end. All there is left is you, a void, and a mirror.

You look in the mirror and see yourself - something that is very much NOT human, a bird-like figure with feathers and talon-like hands. Eventually you see a large mound in the void, and atop it is the Princess, her lifeless body held aloft and puppeteered by dozens of disembodied hands. Her corps speaks with a voice that both is and is not her own, and speaks of herself as a clearly inhuman entity - "an ocean that has been reduced to a small pond." She tells you how the Princess you knew, this Vessel, is but a fraction of her - perhaps, you might think, the way your own Voices are a fraction of you. After all, she says that she believes You are something akin to her, and notes that she feels drawn to you. If you bring her more vessels - different vessels, specifically, different fractions of her - she can become more whole, and perhaps the two of you can figure out what you are and what has been done to you.

That's right, fuckers, getting that girl out of the cabin was just STEP ONE in this whole ordeal.

You ask about the Princess - is she dead? The shifting mound gives her a eulogy of sorts, highlighting how this vessel was shaped by your choices, and tells you not to mourn her, because her experiences will live on in the mound and give her a warm and loving heart. Then she sends you back - back to the path, back to the cabin, back to make different choices and create a different princess.

That is the meat of the game - not just discovering the answer to all those reasonable questions the initial scenario gives you, but to shape the Princess and be shaped by her in turn. Your shifting perceptions of her reveal new facets of her personality and nature - different personas she undertakes that are made literal as a result of her actions. And in turn you gain new facets of yourself, new voices for impulses and beliefs you hold.

Let's say you decide to take the Pristine Blade down with you this time. The Princess's demeanor is immediately different - she regards you with more obvious suspicion, knowing that the knife in your hand means nothing good for her. You dilly dally, you splutter, and maybe you wait too long to make a choice, only to decide at the last minute, what the hell, let's try to slay her and see what happens.

And she kicks your ass so utterly that you never get a single strike in. As she stands over your broken, dying body, you can't help but think about how POWERFUL she is. Everything goes dark, and you die...

...Then you're on a path in the woods, and at the end of that path is a Princess who is immediately far more powerful than the one you met before. She's a giantess, her voice booms, and you barely come up to her knee. When the narrator talks she hears him for the first time, and forces him to first shut up, then to narrate the story she wants to tell. Your new voice, the Broken, demands you bow to your new goddess, but you find some strength to resist, and so she makes you kill yourself.

Dark, die, path, woods, cabin - you're back, but before you reach the cabin the ground quakes, and the Princess emerges, mountainous and godly in power, slaying the narrator outright and offering you a chance to be remade as her henchman. If you're me, you agree, you fucking simp, and watch as she tears open reality to find something beyond - beyond the cabin, beyond the woods, beyond the void, something strange and colorful and NEW. She reaches out to it, only to grow cold - disembodied hands emerge from the disappearing earth and begin to pull her down. Realizing her godlike power has limits, the Princess-turned-Goddess looks at you and apologizes for treating you unkindly when you "Are the only one who treated [her] with grace," and tries to let you, at least, escape into that great beyond - but unfortunately, neither of you make it.

Back to the mound. The pond becomes a lake, the mound apologizes for your strife and asks for another vessel. You return to the path in the woods.

You try slaying her again, still giving her warning, and the fight's more even - the two of you both get lethal blows. So you die, and return to the cabin, and now the Princess that waits for you is more aggressive, more boisterous, and explicitly monstrous, with horns on her head and a dragon's tail. You fight her, trying to use speed to your advantage against the advice of your newfound fightboi voice, and get killed for your trouble. Dark, woods, path, cabin, the Princess is bigger and more monstrous and draconic still, obsessed with fighting you again and again because conflict with you is what makes her feel ALIVE. You lure her out of the cabin, and the mound claims her.

Another vessel, please.

You go back, blade in hand, and you don't talk this time. You just go up and stab her to death before she can raise a hand. As you go back to the cabin, deed finally done, the Narrator congratulates you and informs you that your reward is, uh... being in this cabin. Forever. The world outside is still around, you just can't go back to it now. When you look out the door, the woods are gone, and there's a now-very familiar void. The Narrator insists this is a good thing, and you have no way out of it anyway.

Well, that's not true... there's a knife downstairs, after all.

Dark, woods, path, cabin. You find the princess's corpse in the basement this time, but that's not all - slowly an ethereal being rises from the floor. A ghost in a familiar dress with a familiar scar over her heart where you thrust the knife in. The Princess, now a specter, demands you help her escape - her old body is useless now, but yours is still intact, if you just give her a ride, and hey, you kind of owe her for killing her in the first place.

So you let her in, and she looks around the inside of your mind. There's all these shards of glass - your voices - and for the second time she's able to hear the narrator, though the specter is amiable enough to actually let him talk rather than trying to shut him up (though she still presses him to explain why he hates her so much and why he's sure she'll destroy the world when she has no desire to do so). You walk out of the cabin, and the mound claims her.

One more vessel, please.

You try to play hero again - you forsake the blade, you set her free, but because the Mound specified you must make NEW choices, you can't resist this time when the Narrator hijacks your choices. So you stab the Princess when her back is turned, and she fumes at your betrayal. Stab, dark, die...

Woods, path, cabin. You enter a basement that is more like a gnarled cave full of thorny vines, and find less a princess and more of a, well, Witch. She makes little effort to hide the fact that she resents your betrayal from last time, but you still want to play hero, dammit, so you apologize and offer the pristine blade to her as a sign of trust. She asks why on earth you'd do something so stupid, and if you're a simp like me, you tell her that it's because she's beautiful and you love her, because at this point you kind of do. She betrays you, of course, stabbing you as an eye for an eye, only to reel in horror as she realizes she has become everything she hates about you.

Dark, die, woods, path, cabin. The cabin is in ruins now, the basement is a tangle of thorny vines, and wrapped up inside them is the Princess, her body trapped not by a shackle but by the very thorns that prick and cut you as you enter. Her prison is also her best defense against you. She explains she has no idea what you want, or what she wants. You hurt her, she hurt you, why? What's the point of this? What do either of you want out of this relationship?

If you're me, you simp, you tell her that you just want out of this situation, and you want her out of it too, and that both of you deserve better, and that the only way either of you will get it is by working together. She lets you take the blade and cut her free, and, with the help of the voice of the Smitten, you finally, finally give this woman a kiss as a sign of your love - one that, to your GREAT satisfaction, the Narrator is forced to describe in exquisite detail.

She's claimed by the mound again, but for one moment, one beautiful moment, you two got to really figure out what this relationship you have is, to forgive each other for how you've hurt one another, to share some love and kindness, to define yourselves outside of this situation. And you kissed!

You return to the void, you meet the Mound, and both of you start to become what you really are: her, a goddess of death and change, you, a god of life and stability. The Shifting Mound demands that you embrace godhood, bringing out the vessels you've met to try and convince you to join her. But maybe that's not what you want - after all, you'd still be defined as something other than what you were, what you wanted to be.

The Voice of the Hero reaffirms that desire, and helps you find a more... well, human probably isn't the right word, but a more mortal core of Shifty, the Princess at the heart of the God.

You meet her in the basement of the cabin, and the two of you re-litigate the conversation you had with her previous incarnation. You don't want to hurt each other, you don't want to become gods. You just want to leave this all behind, but can you? What is there outside of this cabin - you've never managed to find it. If the two of you leave now, you won't be doing so as gods, and you won't know what lies beyond that door.

But you'll face it together. And after what you've faced together so far, what could really frighten you?

...

Slay the Princess is a game about the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and the Hedgehog's Dilemma and, like, the inescapable fact that to have relationships with other people you will be hurt and you will hurt them in turn. That's the inescapable price of being known - your vulnerabilities will be exposed and wounded, as will those of the people you wish to know, and the care that you feel for them will come with pain. They will misunderstand you, you will misunderstand them, and at times you will make monsters of each other.

Like, even in the Damsel route, the one where you most explicitly try not to harm her, you still hurt her by thinking of her not as a person with autonomy, but as a victim to be rescued - a damsel, an ideal that you place on a pedestal but fail to view as an independent person who exists for reasons beyond your own desire to play hero. No matter what your intentions are, you will hurt her, and no matter how she tries to avoid it, she has to hurt you to survive.

But it's worth it, it is so worth it, because when you work through that pain, those misunderstandings, and truly, truly know someone and let them know you in turn, they can help you through the worst ordeals of your life. And that's what you and the Princess can do if you play your cards right.

The Princess changes in reaction to how you treat her, and you change in turn as a reaction to her choices. But the way you two change, while influenced by each other, also reveals truths about you. You are, in the end, two people who were put in an extremely fucked situation against your will, and both of you just want to live your lives. By the end of the game, you're the only people who could possibly understand each other. You've hurt each other countless times, but you've also been the only ones to comfort each other through this ordeal. You can, if you want, commit to keep striving to be better, for yourselves AND for each other, and that is what your romance with her truly is.

There are SO many other choices you can make in this game than the ones I've outlined - like, to illustrate: I've described The Damsel, The Happily Ever After, The Tower, the Apotheosis, The Adversary, The Eye of the Needle, The Ghost, The Witch, and The Thorn, but there's also:

The Nightmare, The Moment of Clarity, The Prisoner, The Cage, the Drowned Grey and the Burned Grey, The Razor, The Wraith, The Beast, The Den, The Wild, and The Princess and the Dragon.

And each of these individual princesses, including the ones I described for you, has MANY different ways to take their routes - like, if you keep asking The Damsel questions about herself, her artwork will get more crude and simplistic until she dies of becoming literally two-dimensional in a moment that's both horrifying and hilarious. There are so many sides of this woman for you to uncovers, so many facets of her personality and relationship with you to explore.

And there are, of course, other endings to the tale. You can embrace godhood, or you can kill her forever and accept the eternal stagnation the Narrator offered you. You can, if you want, make this into a very tragic story.

But, to me, this is and always will be a love story. The love story, even, the best love story ever told. There are few women in fiction I feel I know as well and as thoroughly as the Princess, and I do love her in my own, sad, parasocial way. One of my favorite stock phrases in a love story is "You are worth Hell," and dammit, never has that been more true than it is with her. She's worth Hell.

...shame she's not real, though. Ah well, time to find something else to fill the void inside me with for a time.

[greenbellehaven]

I’m not one to constantly compare & complain about what the movies lack compared to the books (not out loud anyway) but something that really grinds my gears is the Gringotts dragon escape in DH (pt2).

First, why why why did they make the dragon escape Hermione’s idea in the movie? There are so many instances where they give one of the boys’ actions/lines to Hermione to idk,,, heighten her importance in the movies?? (if you think she’s unimportant in any way in the books OR movies you must not have paid attention but that’s a whole other conversation) but when it comes to problem solving I do think the dragon escape scene shows how daring Harry can be. how his solutions aren’t always safe or logical in the moment, but damn was it a good idea (and cool af, obviously) not to mention that it’s a known fact that Hermione isn’t a fan of flying, so her suggesting escaping on a fucking dragon just doesn’t make sense to me. Harry, “i’d rather die than lose a Quidditch match” Potter is the only part of the Golden Trio who’d immediately suggest something that absurd. Ron MIGHT have suggested it, but even then it’d definitely be after a long list of much safer solutions, or at the very least offered up with a large side of Hesitance

Next, I so desperately wish they had that laughing fit after they jumped off the dragon. I know it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, but that moment in the book is so fundamental to understanding their friendship. because even in the middle of a war, when they’re exhausted, filthy, scared, confused, and everything else, we just robbed the most high-security bank in the wizarding world, and we escaped on a fucking dragon. That small moment when they acknowledge this and can’t help but laugh about it brings you back to the reality that these are just kids with the weight of the world on their shoulders. their lives aren’t really their own right now, so laughing it off is all they can do to keep themselves sane in that moment. plus, it’s realistic. no 17 year old witch or wizard is going to do something as insane as that and just keep it pushing without taking a second to marvel at what just happened.

Lastly, and definitely the least important, Hermione doesn’t acknowledge the big ass dragon they just let out into the world. in the book we at least get a little “oh i hope he’s going to be okay” (she’s just the sweetest person ever) but in the movies it’s just like oh ok thanks for the ride! :) and that’s it. I do feel like they don’t give Hermione as much depth in the movie as the books (which can be argued for all the characters, I know) but one little line would’ve really made the difference in my opinion.

The movie obviously has to get straight to the point and they only have so much time to get the characters out. but some things really change the dynamic of the Trio as well as the audience’s understanding of their friendship. obviously if you read the books then you’ll have the full picture but not everybody will. anyways that’s my little rant. i love the Golden Trio w all my heart

[the-most-faithful]

I'm going back to the post from a few days ago, this one, where I explained that Lily didn't use any magic to protect Harry, I found myself arguing with some users on Tiktok about this and an important issue came up.

The creator of the post gave Lily the credit for saving Harry, which is partly true, but then others started saying that Lily was one of the most powerful witches of her generation, that her magic defeated Voldemort etc.

And I wrote this:

As you can imagine I unleashed hell xD Now among the various answers I received there were these:

Here it really means not knowing the canon, what Snape did is exactly the reason why Harry survived. But rather than admit it some fans steal the credit from Snape (and of course I know, here Snape did not intentionally save Harry, but his request for Mercy for Lily is really the only real reason why Harry was protected in the end)

It has nothing to do with whether I'm Snape Stan or not, it's literally canon but we know that, Snape haters DON'T KNOW THE CANON

These people don't even know how to argue, they admit they are not mature and accuse you of not saying anything canonical without proving it, because they can't do it since I said canonical things.

But the best was the creator of the post himself who wrote me this:

This borders on Gaslighting, really how absurd is it? The credit, whether you like it or not, is Snape's, the creator is the first one who stole a credit from Snape and gave it incorrectly to Lily.

It would be like if someone made a post saying when Ron was brave to kill Nagini and when someone else comes to tell him that no, Nagini was killed by Neville then the creator accused you of stealing Ron's credits, because you hate him and you're a Dramione shipper. People really have to learn to read the books and have a critical sense before accusing people and distorting the canon.

And above all, don't implicitly bring feminism into it, it's very right to recognize the merits of women (even fictional ones) but instead giving them credits that don't belong to them is not a good way to praise them, in fact it has the opposite effect.

Lily was a great potion maker, a great magician, a great witch who fought Voldemort and faced him head on. She doesn't need you to rob other characters of credit to give it to her.

ADDITION

Since someone also wrote me privately about this I repeat, this is NOT MY THEORY, this is canonical, the quotes above are from books where everything is shown. If that were not enough, the author also stated it in an interview from 2005, you can read it here:

I report her exact words:

Don't you want to ask me why James's death didn't protect Lily and Harry? There’s your answer, you've just answered your own question, because she could have lived and chose to die. James was going to be killed anyway. Do you see what I mean? I’m not saying James wasn't ready to; he died trying to protect his family but he was going to be murdered anyway. He had no - he wasn't given a choice, so he rushed into it in a kind of animal way, I think there are distinctions in courage. James was immensely brave. But the caliber of Lily's bravery was, I think in this instance, higher because she could have saved herself. Now any mother, any normal mother would have done what Lily did. So in that sense her courage too was of an animal quality but she was given time to choose. James wasn't. It's like an intruder entering your house, isn't it? You would instinctively rush them. But if in cold blood you were told, "Get out of the way," you know, what would you do? I mean, I don't think any mother would stand aside from their child. But does that answer it? She did very consciously lay down her life. She had a clear choice.

[dalekofchaos]

Context

Smith's Grove

Smith's Grove is the prequel to the faithful night Michael came home. It's a psychological thriller and character study of Michael Myers and Dr Sam Loomis at first trying to reach him and helping the young boy, then suddenly patients are dying. "Accidents" start to happen in Smith's Grove and Loomis realizes that Michael is simply evil beyond help and dedicates his life to keeping Michael locked up.

Took inspiration from the chaos comics.

Halloween 4 Requel

Halloween 4 has become a cult classic. Fans wish Jamie got to be a killer. Danielle Harris wishes she got to be the killer. So imagine.

Jamie really does kill her foster mother. She is locked up in Smith's Grove. There were brief flashes of humanity to the point where Loomis thought she could be reached and did all he could to help her, but it's too late.

Now it's 35 years later. Jamie is back. She dons a clown costume with a Clara Bow styled clown mask(a nod to Michael almost having a Emmett Kelly clown mask) and Rachel will either break through to her sister or do what she must to stop her.

Charlie Bowles

"I remember over in Russellville, old Charlie Bowles, about fifteen years ago… One night, he finished dinner, and he excused himself from the table. He went out to the garage, and got himself a hacksaw. Then he went back into the house, kissed his wife and his two children goodbye, and then he proceeded to…"

One simple story from a gravekeeper could tell an interesting story

Season of the Witch Continuation

A fan came up with a concept of what could happen after Season of The Witch.

Laurie, Allyson, Jamie and John uniting against Michael

Lets retcon Ends. It was Laurie's fever dream after losing Karen. Allyson is taking care of Laurie as grief consumes them both. However. Ghosts from Laurie's past comes back to haunt her.

Her other children. The children she had to give up. Jamie and John.

To avoid a multiverse type story to make the Thorn Trilogy and H20 canon to the Blumhouse Trilogy, we are gonna be creative with Jamie and John's stories in this timeline.

Laurie had to give up Karen. But what if she had the choice to raise one child while giving up the other two? Also Laurie did say in 2018 she had multiple failed marriages. So it could work.

Laurie and Jimmy had Jamie and Laurie and Ben Tramer had John. Laurie's problems caused her to lose her families. Either her partners couldn't take it or they lost the kids like with Karen.

John lived in California, while Jamie lived in Russleville.

They came to pay respects for Karen, but make it clear they want nothing to do with her. They both had similar "incidents" like Michael.

John's best friend Charlie became a Michael Myers copycat(a nod to the original H20 plot) and killed half of his classmates with only John and Sarah surviving.

Jamie had a look a like who attended her school.(a nod to two Jamies) One Halloween, she snapped. She dressed up like a clown and tried to kill her. She followed her home and killed her step-mother. She was blamed for deaths, but eventually her name was cleared and both her and Rachel made it out alive.

However they both admitted. No matter what they did to their pursuers that they kept coming back, kept killing and kept coming to find them.

Laurie is remorseful for what her children went through, but Allyson plays the peacemaker and deduces that they were all touched by Michael's evil.

Laurie's encounter spread to her children, which caused their stalkers to hunt them.

Which leads them to their originator. Michael.

It's sort of inspired by Fear Street, but an excuse to bring Laurie, Jamie, John and Allyson together to kill Michael, Charlie and Jamie's double together.

Ends with Laurie and Allyson killing Michael together. Jamie killing her doppleganger and ending the Thorn curse and John decapitating Charlie. Thus ending evil's hold over the Strode family and Jamie and John finding peace with Laurie.

Anthology Series

Season of The Witch was meant to start up an Anthology series of stories that takes place on Halloween Night, so let's continue that original vision.

Nightdance type story

Nightdance long story short takes place in 2000 and Michael stalks and hunts a girl who looks like Judith. It's a very much back to basics type story that Harkins back to Micheal being more of a stalker in the shadows and when he does attack, it's BRUTAL!

Here is how this hypothetical reboot could look like

Could just be an anthology series of different interpretations of Michael stalking and killing different babysitters in Illinois for the next 20-40 years after Halloween. One where he's classic Michael and the other where Michael becomes a clown once again

Halloween Resurrection Sequel

John Tate never received a conclusion and I feel he deserves justice in the H20 timeline. Because god knows that timeline deserves better than Resurrection as a conclusion.

Halloween 5 Requel

Halloween 5, but it ends with Michael imprisoned and Jamie saying "He'll never die" no Man in Black and no Thorn Cult.

Jamie lives her life normally until one day, Michael breaks out and it's Michael vs Jamie and a REAL conclusion to Jamie's story!

I made a similar story to how Jamie in a H5 Requel could look like

Rob Zombie timeline continuation with Laurie as the killer, but without Rob Zombie

As much shit as Zombie's movies were, the potential of Laurie as the killer could've been great, especially with that tease at the end and Scout would've killed it.

I ignore the director's cut as I felt Michael's death was more final and Laurie being left alive and being teased as the killer is much more satisfying than RZ's bullshit "director's cut"(yeah go fuck yourself with the "Laurie's dead and it was all in her head" fuck you)

[mxaether]

MITCH MARNER -VS- TORONTO MEDIA/TORONTO FANS/HIMSELF/EVERYONE (a playlist for when you love a thing so much, and it bites you)

track list and selected lyrics for each under the cut ❤️

1. I Want You So Bad I Can't Breathe - OK GO i want you, yeah, i want you/ i want you, yeah, i want you bad/ so bad i can't think straight/ so bad all my bones shake / so bad i can't breathe 2. Careful What You Wish For (the doctor said to) - Jack Harris something is missing/this predisposition/i feel like i'm living inside of my head 3. Who Made You A Monster? - Hael tricking the world to trust you/but everything that you say/is some kind of sordid lie/who taught you how to lie so well? 4. GOSSIP - Maneskin, Tom Morello welcome to the city of lies/where everything's got a price/gonna be your favourite place -- so sip the gossip, drink till you choke/sip the gossip, burn down your throat 5. Don't Be Nice - Watsky false modesty is a guilty habit/some people simply have it/but the fact is i would not have spent a decade doing this/if i did not believe i was at least a tiny bit ridiculously filthy at it 6. JEKYLL & HIDE - Bishop Briggs sweet and then you're sour/changes by the hour/never know which one i'll taste 7. End of It - Friday Pilots Club it's cruel you know/the way they've been treating you lately/get you real messed up on the daily 8. Nowhere Kid - Des Rocs inside of a maze you hide away/where nobody cares who you are/caught in a lie you can't escape 9. All For Us - Labrinth, Zendaya guess you figured my two times two/always equates to one/dreamers are selfish -- i'm taking it all for us, all/doing it all for love 10. Cruel Devotion - Night Club do you want me? tell me true/on my knees and now i'm begging you/loving you is such a cruel devotion 11. Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko i have nothing left to prove/cause i have nothing left to lose/see me bare my teeth for you/who, who are you? 12. Heartbreak Feels So Good - Fall Out Boy is there a word for a bad miracle?/nobody said the road was endless/nobody said the climb was friendless 13. Some People - Dan Mangan cause it's too easy to be righteous when you eat what you've been fed/some people don't question what they've read/some people should 14. SELF-SABOTAGE - Waterparks i'll self sabotage/if you like when we talk i'll dislocate my jaw/what the fuck is wrong with me 15. Matches - Huxlxy bring me the ashes/set me alight/i'd rather burn than say goodbye 16. SICK - Chandler Leighton never let anyone see your guard down/too proud, just stop, keep my frozen/iced out, i'm six feet underground 17. Black Wave - K. Flay shaking in my own cage/what do i believe? i believe/waiting on a black wave/living under bad days 18. Middle Finger - Bohnes you show me love and then spit in my face/making your money off all of my pain 19. still feel. - half-alive when i'm furthest from myself/feeling closer to the stars/i've been invaded by the dark/trying to recognize myself when i feel i've been replaced 20. Rather Die - Barns Courtney i came to kill 'em, now i'm/wipin' the spit from my eyes/i take a beating but i/i'll never give up 21. Lake Effect Kid - Fall Out Boy oh i've got the skyline in my veins, forget your night time/sumer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel/and joke us, joke us til Lakeshore Drive comes back into focus/i just wanna come back to life 22. Stronger - Kanye West n-now-now that, that don't kill me/can only make my stronger -- do anybody make real shit anymore?/bow in the presence of greatness/cause right now thou hast forsaken us 23. Bulletproof - La Roux, GAMPER & DADONI i won't let you turn around/and tell me now i'm much too proud/all you do is fill me up with doubt/this time, baby, i'll be bulletproof 24. What Do You Want - Nico Vega you can go ahead and hate me/for bringing in news, but you could still choose/ain't going to be a party/but you turn it all down, down, down/say, what do you want?/what do you want from me? 25. I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor you've seen me before, you'll see me again 26. Hero - Martin Harrix, JVKE

a thousand voices whisper noise/they plan my fall from grace/whoa-oh, i know/you say you want a hero, you don’t

[twopoppies]

regarding what you mentioned earlier about there being no announcement for harry resigning with sony

how do we know his contract ended?

and

if he did resign would the announcement come around the end of financial year (end of June)? idk how music contracts work but in my mind they’d work off financial years?

definitely interesting if he doesn’t/hasn’t resigned with sony!

I’m not the best person to talk to about business stuff because I don’t know a ton about how it works, either. But I’ll try to answer.

It was reported that Harry signed a three-album deal with Sony. He’s delivered on that. I’d assume that Sony would have insisted on a first right of refusal clause (meaning, when it comes time to re-sign, Harry would have to give them the opportunity to turn him down before signing elsewhere). It’s a really standard clause, so I’d be surprised if it wasn’t there. I believe the only way for him to sign somewhere else is if the other label were to offer Harry something that Sony couldn’t match (usually money, but it could be anything: rights to his masters, more money for press albums, more creative control, etc).

Sony would want to announce that their cash cow has re-signed in order to make their shareholders feel confident in Sony’s potential earnings. I’m not sure when announcements are made, but i remember seeing video of presentations being made where Sony was showing off their roster and Harry was on that list. So it seems like it would be a collective announcement at a particular time. I haven’t seen anything like that since, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a regular thing.

Harry going to a football match with Rob Stringer looked to me like a show of good faith, and certainly was intended to put people’s minds to rest about where his loyalty is. I don’t expect him to sign with anyone but Sony, but I’m just aware of the long time that’s passed since Harry gave them that third album.

If anyone else knows more about this stuff, please feel free to tack on. As I said, I’m no expert.