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#Happy Valentines Day Messages For Him 2019
iffoundreturntosea · 8 months
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February 14, Day 45
Day 45 2015
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Valentines from my two favorite girls!
#valentines #nieces #love #lovemynieces #lovebeingauntcece #picoftheday #project365 #day45
So lucky to have 4 girls and a boy now! Aunt life is the best life.
Day 45 2016
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What a difference 24 hours makes!
#sick #temperature #thermometer #red #shadesoflove #not #february #picoftheday #project365 #day45
I don't usually think of myself as sickly but as I sit here currently sick...again...and feeling sorry for myself it's hard to think otherwise. Sure, I'm not bedridden like I was all those years ago but lately it seems like I've been getting sick more often.
Day 45 2017
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Niece is sharing one of her valentine chocolates with me :)
#valentines #niece #love #chocolate #reeses #hershey #hearts #february #picoftheday #project365 #day45
She may or may not have learned from a certain aunt to be stingy with your chocolate! hahaha
Day 45 2018
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My valentines from Leo and niece!
#loveatfirstsight #leo #kitty #cat #catsofinstagram #furbaby #love #snuggles #valentinesday #pictureofapicture #instax #polaroid #snapshot #february #picoftheday #project365 #day45
Leo hated when I picked him up for selfies and it was quite evident in this photo! I can't stop laughing! Look at those eyes!
Day 45 2019
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Secret messages
#flowers #roses #new #old #fresh #wilt #happyvalentinesday #valentines #nationalvalentinesday #february #feb14 #2019 #nationalday #nationaldaycalendar #picoftheday #project365 #day45
Day 45 2020
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Taking some lovely, wintry walks!
#walk #outdoors #water #melting #ice #winter #nature #february #february14 #2020 #picoftheday #project365 #day45
Melting ice running across the land and forming such interesting patterns! I haven't been able to get back to this area in Missouri since this week. Such a beautiful week.
Day 45 2021
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Happy Valentine's Day!!
#texas #winter #snow #snowflakes #macro #closeup #nature #cold #ice #water #blue #beautiful #lessstressmorefun #whateverthehelliwant #february #february14 #2021 #picoftheday #project365 #day45
Getting pictures of snowflakes is incredibly difficult but so rewarding! I guess that is true of a lot of things!
Day 45 2022
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He was not happy I made him take a valentines picture with me!
#leo #furbaby #kitty #cat #valentine #love #february #february14 #2022 #picoftheday #project365 #day45
I am so glad he put up with me for as long as he did. :)
Day 45 2023
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My purrfect valentine!
#leo #kitty #cat #purrfectvalentine #happyvalentinesday #february #february14 #2023 #picoftheday #project365 #day45
For once in his life he had a home that was all his so his favorite spot would change periodically. At this point in time it was the toilet! My silly boy. I love him still.
Day 45 2024
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To all my valentines, I hope you can find the extraordinary in the ordinary.
#fence #dailytheme #marble #light #color #textrue #littlesomethingextra #february #february14 #2024 #picoftheday #project365 #day45
This fence gives me such kid like joy seeing it. I feel that all fences should have colorful little marbles in them for the light to filter through.
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A STUDY IN YOU, chapter thirteen
table of contents | talk to me & join the tag list | the playlist
February 14th, 2019
The date wasn’t lost on you. Not when you woke up and you had a text from him with a stupid meme about screenplays. Not when you noticed his five o’clock shadow in class that night and thought about how cool the metal of his watch felt against your throat. 
It especially wasn’t lost on you when you finished the last sip of your second drink at O’Halloran’s and set your cup back on the table with force. 
“What’s got you in a mood tonight?” Max asked with a skeptical glance. 
“That’s a joke, right?” Sophie looked at him and then at you.
You sighed, rolled your eyes at Sophie and wished that just once she’d have a bit more grace when she threw you under the bus. 
“She’s all sad because it’s Valentine’s Day and you know who hasn’t even acknowledged it.”
She wasn’t wrong. You glanced around the bar quickly to make sure any other NYU-affiliates were out of earshot. 
“Not at all?” Naomi asked, her eyebrows arched slightly on her forehead. 
“It’s fine,” you waved them off. “We’re not together, we’re not anything, we’re just--” you rambled a little, the drinks had already gone to your head and the plate of nachos you’d shared with them for dinner did little to soak up the alcohol you poured down your throat in an attempt to forget the significance of the 14th day of the month. 
“Having a movie-worthy love affair?” Sophie teased with a smile. 
“Something like that,” you groaned, a change in tune when you sat up straight and forced a smile. “But we’re here to celebrate Naomi and her accomplishments and I will stop being a party pooper.”
“Sure you will,” Max laughed. 
“Sorry he hasn’t said anything,” Naomi reached over and put a hand on your arm, always the sensitive and compassionate one. 
It’s not like you had the right to be mad. Honestly, you were frustrated with yourself for caring in the first place. What did you expect? A bouquet of roses? A romantic night out to dinner in the village? 
All of that was a long shot and in moments like this--when anxiety got the best of you--you still wondered who else might be waiting for a text from him or hoping they’d see him soon. 
Maybe Jennie. Maybe some other random woman he knew from work or some previous life. 
Your third drink only made the questions echo louder in your head, a round of tequila shots brought your thumbs to the screen of your phone. 
Y/N L/N (10:44pm): Happy friday
He texted back quickly, another layer of confusion when you wondered where he was. His apartment? Out with friends? But he beat you to it.
Jason Sudeikis (10:46pm): Happy Friday
Jason Sudeikis (10:47pm): Are you out?
Y/N L/N (10:49pm): At O’Halloran’s having drinks in Naomi’s honor!
Jason Sudeikis (10:49pm): Sounds like a good way to spend Friday night!
You didn’t want to push it, thanked Sophie when she returned with your next drink and put your phone face down on the table. After Max started chatting up someone at the booth behind yours and Sophie scanned the room for cute girls, Naomi leaned forward and smiled at you. 
“What’s everyone’s favorite professor up to tonight?”
“No clue,” you shrugged casually, a tiny smirk at how well she could read you. 
“No clue?”
You shook your head. “Told him I’m here but--”
“And he’s not already on his way?”
You laughed, appreciated how she always supported you no matter if she agreed with your decisions. 
“No,” you shook your head. You picked up your phone and felt the familiar rush of butterflies when his name appeared on your screen. One new message. 
Jason Sudeikis (10:53pm): Do you want to come over?
Naomi watched your face light up, you showed her the text and she smiled. 
Y/N L/N (10:56pm): Now?
Jason Sudeikis (10:57pm): Or whenever you finish up
Y/N L/N (10:57pm): All the way out to Brooklyn this late at night?
Jason Sudeikis (10:58pm): You’re right, I’ll call you an uber so you don’t have to take the subway this late 😅
And he did. He sent you a screenshot and texted you the whole way, opened his front door with a smile when you looked up at him in the chilly night air. With one smile the uncertainty and the nervousness melted away, you stepped inside and shrugged out of your coat. 
“I hope you at least tried to be subtle in sneaking over here,” he smirked, watched as you made your way over to the couch and slumped into it. 
“Oh relax,” you waved him off playfully. “They don’t care.”
“I’m glad they don’t,” he nodded genuinely, let out a sigh when he sat down beside you. “But I know a lot of people who would.”
“Hmm,” you twisted yourself towards him, pulled your knees up onto the cushion and narrowed your eyes. “And why’s that?”
“As fun as this is--we’re still breaking a lot of rules.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You smiled, liked that he played along when you asked: “How so?”
He smirked. “Well, let’s say there’s a guy.”
You nodded, uh-huh.
“And there’s a girl,” he watched you, eyes intent to make sure you were following. 
“And the guy is older, and he’s—like—a professional? A boss? He’s like a boss,” he decided. 
“Yeah.”
“And his secretary is younger—not like, too young, in a weird way—just like, young in a...hot way.”
You smirked, “yeah? What’s the big deal about that?” You played. 
“Some people might say that the boss has a level of power over his secretary, seeing as he controls her advancement within the organization, right?” 
“Sure,” you shrugged.
He waited a beat, amused by the way you held his gaze.
“Do you see where I’m going with this?” He rolled his hands around in the air, trying to gauge your level of understanding. 
You shrugged again, mostly playing up your level of intoxication to get a laugh out of him. “Eh.”
“I’m the boss,” he nodded, connecting the dots. “You’re kind of, like, the secretary.”
You laughed at the guilty look on his face, his hate to break it to you smile. 
“Me?” You gasped, eyebrows arched high. 
“You? What do you mean, you? Of course you,” he laughed. "Who else would I be referencing?"
You didn't want to know the answer to his question, so you smiled at him for a second, gave him a chance to think he had the last word.
“I can be the boss too sometimes,” you glanced up at him. 
A smirk when he took the bait. “You?”
“Of course me,” you borrowed his words. “I can show you.” 
You stood, angled yourself in front of him and looked down at him. He turned towards you instinctually, faced the center of the living room where you stood with a confident twinkle in your eye. 
“Yeah—” he nodded, a little outpaced by the change in beat. You stepped forward, put a knee on either side of him when you straddled his lap. His arms wrapped around your waist like they always did, you settled onto him easily and smiled down at him. 
“What?” He asked, the corner of his mouth twisted towards the ceiling when his eyes narrowed, suspicious. 
“I just can’t believe you said I’m basically your secretary,” you teased.
“I was making an analogy!” He defended, his eyes wide when he bit back a laugh. You couldn’t even reply, he leaned up and caught your lips in his, pulling you closer. His hands roamed your body, desperate to feel the friction between you. 
You liked the way he wanted you, felt less insecure in moments like this when he was hungry for your touch and wanting more. He tugged your shirt over your head, smiled up at you playfully when he unclasped your bra behind your back. 
He kissed you again, but he tensed suddenly and pulled away after only a few seconds.
“How--uh--how drunk are you?”
You smiled, a closed-lipped one when he searched your face for an answer. 
“Sober enough to consent,” you nodded, cutting right to it.
He let out a quiet laugh, and for a moment it felt like you could sit on his lap forever. “Good,” he teased. “I don’t want to take advantage of you more than I already am.”
February 26th, 2019
Jennie and Dan had already left, eager to make it home before the snow started on a Wednesday night. Javier rubbed his jaw and Jason leaned back in his chair. 
You were flattered at first, saw the way he looked at you when you said you’d stay late. I have some more in me, too, I guess. 
But eventually Javier decided he’d rather make it home for his baby’s bedtime routine than sit in the conference room. He packed his bag and pointed a finger at the two of you when he turned for the door: don’t stay too late! 
Now it was your turn to lean back in your chair. Jason looked over at you when you adjusted, put his red pen behind his ear and rubbed his eyes.
“Well--any other thoughts on your independent study or are you still gonna try to convince me to have you come to Cannes?”
“I have to convince you?” You asked with a bit of surprise. “Sex in the South of France isn’t enough?”
He laughed at that, rolled his eyes a little when he shrugged. “Feels risky, but--it does sound nice.”
“As if you wouldn’t have slept with me last year when we were there,” you eyed him.
“Maybe,” he teased.
“Oh come on,” you laughed, shutting your laptop now when you decided you didn’t have any more steam for tonight. “You got so jealous when Max took me to that club! You seriously asked me if I met anyone!”
He smiled when he thought back to it, scrunched his nose at his own jealousy. “I was still…treading lightly.” He followed your lead, shut his laptop and started to pack up. “Speaking of that, though.”
You watched him expectantly, rifled through a notebook before slipping it into your bag. 
“Jennie asked me on a date.”
“Oh,” you nodded. “She did.”
It wasn’t a question, more of a statement when you kept your eyes on his. He was still smirking. 
“Yeah--I, uh--I politely declined.”
“Oh.”
“I just told her that it’s probably crossing a line--mixing work and play.”
“Ah,” you nodded, smiling at the look of self-awareness on his face. “Very upstanding of you.”
He nodded quickly in sarcastic agreement. “I never mix work and play.”
“Never,” you laughed, shaking your head when he stood. 
“Or at least…I only do it in certain situations.”
“Mmm,” you nodded. “Right.”
He took a step closer to you. You tried to fight the smile on your face but he was already too close. He smiled down at you, and for a moment you wondered what would happen if you said certain things aloud. 
I think I like you. 
You almost wanted to keep your distance, pull back when his arms wrapped around your waist or when his fingers found the waistband of your panties. But he pulled them down your legs when his mouth stayed locked on yours. You let him fuck you with your clothes on, quick and hot and still swimming in thoughts of what if.  
He thrusted into you and moaned your name, late enough that most of the building was empty save for security guards who did their rounds. When he zipped his pants and you smoothed out your blouse, he turned to see you. 
“Alright," he sighed. "I’ve been thinking about Cannes…”
“And?” You smiled up at him, hoping the recent orgasm only helped your case. 
He let out a sigh, one that he obviously played up for dramatic effect. “I don’t think the school will help with the cost since it’s not necessary for you to come. But if you can come up with a decent project to submit--whether that’s a critique or something--I think we could probably get Dean Vasquez to back it.”
“Really?” You tried not to bounce with excitement, reminded yourself that while the two of you certainly had a unique relationship, you didn’t need to behave in a way that made your age obvious. 
He laughed at your excitement, nodding when he slung his bag over his shoulder. 
“I can email him and try to set up a meeting, you know--go over the details and fill out the paperwork.”
You smiled, nodded before you took a step over to him and reached up for his face. One kiss, not overly sexual and not all that passionate. Serious, genuine, different. 
He cleared his throat when you took a step back. Awkward, but only a little.
“I appreciate it,” you said. “I appreciate you.”
He smiled, like he was in on the secret. 
March 3rd, 2019 
You took a deep breath before you knocked on the door. A tiny window told you he was already inside, his hair was coiffed and his tie was blue. 
Dean Vasquez looked up and waved you in, an awkward smile when you stepped in and looked over at Jason. He met your eyes briefly, a close lipped smile when you greeted them.
“Hi, Dean Vasquez, Professor Sudeikis—”
It was clunky, certainly not the way you typically interacted with him. 
“Y/N, hi—come on in, have a seat.” Dean Vasquez was an older man who always wore patterned ties. He frequented campus events and was one of those deans who was able to address most students in the Graduate School of Film by name. 
You dropped your bag off your shoulder now, smoothed out your skirt and sat in the chair beside Jason. 
He looked at you quickly when you sat, nodded a little and then cleared his throat when Dean Vasquez leaned back in his chair. 
“So—Y/N, Professor Sudeikis has informed me that you’re interested in going on the student trip to the Cannes Film Festival again this year.”
You nodded, smiled up at him. “Yes, yeah, I would love to be able to go and assist on the trip. I’d certainly be happy to do an assignment or project in accordance with an independent study, primarily.”
Right, just like you’d discussed.
Dean Vasquez nodded slowly, like he was taking it all in. “Professor Sudeikis, you feel like this is a good option for Ms. L/N?”
“Absolutely,” he nodded quickly. “Y/N’s been my advisee her whole time in Grad Film. She’s been a TA for me and now she’s completing her internship at NBC/Universal.”
You looked over at him when he spoke, apparently he’d decided to leave out that your internship was also with him. 
“She’s a very impressive student,” he nodded again. “And I think this is a good opportunity for her to finish her studies here at NYU.” 
“Well, we certainly don’t have students attend this trip twice very often,” Dean Vasquez admitted. “Y/N, how do you think another trip to the film festival would further your education?”
Dean Vasquez smiled when he asked his question, apparently the meeting was going well and you were saying the right things. You glanced at Jason again and smiled back at the Dean. 
“I had such an amazing experience last year in Cannes. It’s not hard to further your education at a festival where they’re screening some of the most impressive films from new creators,” you gushed. “And I’ve already started brainstorming my project. There’s an incredible director--Sarai Marks--who’s screening her new film and I was thinking about doing a paper about how her directorial style has changed over the course of her three major films.”
You were excited. Despite the fact that being one credit behind felt like a gut punch, the opportunity to do a deep dive into one of your favorite directors still lit up your brain like lightning. 
“It does sound like an amazing trip,” Dean Vasquez smiled. “And it does feel like a good opportunity for an independent study, especially overseen by someone who will likely be core faculty—”
Jason smiled at that, sat up straight and nodded at Dean Vasquez. “Yes sir, yeah, absolutely. I know it’s a unique one, but I do think Y/N will do a phenomenal job and I know she’ll continue to make NYU proud for a long time. She’s already charting a course to be a staff writer at NBC upon completion of her degree.”
You watched Jason for a second, careful to control your smile and the heat on your cheeks when he complimented you. What you really were thrown off by, though, were the words that Dean Vasquez used.
Core faculty. 
“Well,” Dean Vasquez nodded and looked between the two of you. “That all sounds like an easy decision, then.” He cleared his throat and kept going. “Professor Sudeikis, I can sign off on any necessary paperwork you need for Miss L/N to join the trip. One second—Paige?”
He called to the middle aged secretary that sat outside his office at a beautiful cherry desk. 
She rounded the corner and came into the room. “Anything you get from Professor Sudeikis over the next few days regarding the Cannes trip, please flag that as urgent.”
She nodded and smiled, stayed in the room as if she knew her job wasn’t finished. 
Dean Vasquez sighed. “Alright, Professor Sudeikis, if you don’t mind, I just have a few questions for Miss L/N.”
Jason shifted in his seat, glanced at you quickly and then back to Dean Vasquez. Oh, he was being asked to leave.
He nodded, did a good job at hiding his confusion or uncertainty as he shouldered the messenger bag he always carried. “Yeah—of course, uh, thank you so much for your time, Dean Vasquez. Y/N—I’ll see you in class?”
You’d see him elsewhere before then, but you chalked his words up to an appropriate goodbye in front of other university staff. 
You all smiled, muttered farewells when he left the office and shut the door behind him. Your heart thumped a little once he was gone—were you in trouble? Had you done something wrong?
You turned back to Dean Vasquez. Paige—who still stood in the room in her pencil skirt and funky blouse—smiled when he cleared his throat. 
“I hope you don’t mind that Paige is joining, but—there’s some University Policy that I wanted to discuss.”
You looked between the two of them and nodded. Holy shit. Where was this going?
“You’re obviously a very impressive student, uh, none of this is questioning your merit at this institution. But, we do like to check in with students who have close relationships with faculty or advisors to ensure that there are appropriate boundaries in place? Give the student an opportunity to voice any concerns that may arise.”
“Oh,” you nodded. “Uh, no—everything is fine.”
Was that the right thing to say? You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. Dean Vasquez sensed this.
“If you ever want to discuss anything along those lines, please know that you could always speak with myself or Dean Grasso,” he referenced another Graduate Dean—a female, Paula Grasso, who oversaw the Graduate Theatre program. “If that would be more comfortable.”
So that’s why Paige stayed. To be the other woman in the room. To be the other vagina so you felt comfortable.
While you appreciated their effort to make you comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, all you could manage was a nod as you tried to stammer out a reply. “Okay, thank you—I can assure you that Ja—Professor Sudeikis—has been nothing but professional and appropriate. He’s a great mentor.”
Dean Vasquez nodded. “Well then, please make sure he fills out that paperwork and we’ll get everything approved for your independent study.”
“I will,” you smiled, stood and gathered your bag from the floor by your seat. “Thank you, both of you, for your time.”
You hurried out, rounded the corner of Paige’s desk and opened your phone.
Jason Sudeikis (11:32am): Waiting down the hall for you
So you stepped outside the administrative wing, your footsteps echoed in the wide hallway when you turned left. Your heart was beating fast, you tried to steady your breathing.
He stood against the wall, bag slung over his shoulder, scrolling on his phone. He waited for you.
“Hi,” you said quietly as you approached.
He looked up and clicked his phone to sleep. “Hey—“ he turned towards you when you stopped in front of him. “How was that?”
You smiled, reached forward to slip a finger between the buttons on his shirt. You were proud. “Why didn’t you tell me you got the core faculty spot?”
His hand reached up automatically, his fingers held onto yours for a second.
“Nothing’s finalized,” he shrugged, the hint of a smile on his face. “I haven’t signed an offer letter yet.”
A door opening down the hall caused you both to retreat from the other’s touch. He blinked when you met his eyes.
“What did he want to talk to you about?”
Your eyebrows rose at that, you nodded a little when you smirked. “He wanted to make sure that there are appropriate boundaries between us.”
“What?” He asked, his face immediately contorted into a look of concern. “What do you mean? What did he ask?”
“He just asked if there were appropriate boundaries,” you giggled a little, but he didn’t find this entertaining. “Then he said if I ever needed to discuss anything along those lines I could talk to him or Dean Grasso.”
“A woman? He offered up Dean Grasso? As if you’re some…” he looked around before he lowered his voice, “sexual harassment victim?”
“I told him everything was fine,” you said again, a shrug of your shoulder. “I handled it.”
“I know, but this isn’t good, Y/N—if anyone finds out anything I could lose my job and therefore not become core faculty.” 
“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” you said calmly, hopeful that your words would lower his pulse. 
“Okay,” he nodded to himself. “Uh—I should go, okay?”
“Okay,” you nodded, kept your eyes on his.
“I’ll see you? I’ll text you?”
You nodded, reassured—only slightly—by the fact that now your goodbyes included a promise to talk soon. 
He walked away, shoved his hands in his pockets when he headed for the glass doors that would deposit him onto the street. You let out a sigh. At least you were going to Cannes. 
March 10th, 2019
You hated how petty you were, but you also felt grateful to have the tension behind you. Now that you knew Jennie had asked Jason out--and that he had said no--you felt like you could breathe easier. 
So much so, actually, that you walked beside her and let out a snort of a laugh when she impersonated one of the characters in your script. A sandwich in hand, you both brought back lunch and set your phones down on the table. 
The conference room was empty, the others were scattered throughout midtown in search of a meal before you’d hit the afternoon with force and attempt to finish the script for Season 2 Episode 5. 
“Hey,” Jennie said quickly, her voice quiet to make it obvious that she was shifting topics. “I finally asked Jason if he wanted to grab a drink.”
“Oh,” you looked up at her, speaking around the bite of sandwich you’d just taken. “How’d that go?”
As if you didn’t know.
“Fine,” she shrugged, downplayed it and wiped her mouth. “Said he’s actually seeing someone, so--there’s that.”
“Oh,” you said again, eyes a bit wide this time. “I didn’t…know that.”
“Yeah,” she said casually. “He didn’t say who or anything, but--oh well.”
Your stomach churned with a new wave of anxiety: was he actually seeing someone? Would he tell you if he was? And why, most importantly, did your face get red with heat like he was yours and yours alone?
“Hi,” Dan walked back in with Jason in tow, they came back to the table and settled in when you tried to slow your breathing. 
The group fell into casual conversation, Jennie perked up after Javier cracked a joke. 
“Hey--by the way, Y/N mentioned that we all need to get drinks soon.”
“Yeah?” Jason forked into a bite of salad and smiled at you. 
“Yeah,” Jennie answered for you. “Her birthday was last week so--we have to do something!”
His eyebrows quirked up, he smirked when he said: “It was?”
Jennie answered for you, “yeah!”
“What day?”
You could tell he was playing down his interest, a poor attempt at hiding the tightrope between you.
You shrugged it off, totally not a big deal. “Last week, Thursday.”
“You didn’t mention it at all,” he blinked a few times, lips in a thin line.
“What are you?” Jennie teased him. “The birthday police?”
“No,” he shook his head, almost embarrassed by her accusation. “I just feel bad that…we didn’t know.”
A smooth redirection, you’d purposely declined to tell him the exact date so as to avoid this exact moment. He didn’t need to celebrate you, didn’t need to buy a gift or anything like that. 
You knew that either way you’d be disappointed: it wasn’t like you could actually go out and celebrate: a fancy dinner or a concert or something like that? No way. And besides, after your meeting with Dean Vasquez, he seemed properly spooked. 
He reminded you plenty. In his office late one night, after class last week: we shouldn’t, we can’t, not here. It’s not like you’d stopped sleeping together, but the opportunity never arose now without his acknowledgment of the anxiety he felt or the tightrope you walked.
So you planned a celebration that felt like a good fit: dinner with your friends and drinks this upcoming weekend at O’Halloran’s, Sophie promised she’d make chocolate cupcakes. 
“I’m--uh--having drinks with friends on Friday, so--if you guys are around, you should all stop by.”
“I should be free,” Javier nodded. 
“Me too,” Dan smiled. 
“Yeah,” Jason nodded, a beat before he met your gaze again. “I can swing by.”
Which is how you ended up with a margarita in hand with Sophie and Naomi flanking your sides by the bar later that week. A decent turnout, which always felt nice--you surveyed the crowd of friends and classmates that had showed up to celebrate you. 
Jennie was on time and Max was thrilled to meet her. His younger brother was in town for the weekend, and Connor was just as funny as his brother was, but decidedly less flamboyant. 
“Okay,” Connor said, gesturing towards Max and Jennie with his beer. “Who’s she again and how do we know her?”
“Coworker of mine,” you informed, eyes trailing over to them. “She’s nice but a little annoying.”
“A lot annoying,” Sophie corrected. 
Connor was 26, worked in finance in San Francisco and considered running to be a hobby. He smirked at Sophie but then smiled at you. “Yeah?”
“She’s fine,” you rolled your eyes at Sophie. “She’s grown on me…slightly.”
You would have said more, explained to both of them how even in the last week Jennie seemed to be acting more like your friend than a superior, but the door pushed open when Jason, Javier, and Dan strode in. 
“Jason alert,” Sophie said quickly, an elbow into your ribs when you shot her a look. 
“I see him, thank you.”
You took off towards the door, figured it’d be easier to greet them and pull them towards the bar than to leave them mingling on their own. Javier saw you first, open arms to hug you when he smiled. 
“Happiest of birthdays, even though this is belated,” he teased. 
“Thank you so much,” you laughed, moving from Javier to Dan. Hugs for them both, then Jason.
“Hi,” you said it quietly when he hugged you, your mouth close to his ear. 
“Hey,” he said quickly, pulled back like he was afraid to hold on for too long. 
You brought them over towards the bar, introduced them to some of your other friends and then returned to Sophie. She had another drink waiting for you, Connor’s arms were crossed when he scanned the crowd. 
You filled him in on names and laughed at stories Max told about their childhood, a glass in hand all night as friends came to congratulate you on another successful trip around the sun.
Birthdays were always reflective, you always thought through the months and the days and the years of your life that shaped you into who you were. This year it was no exception, and Jason’s presence in the bar that night only made it all the more obvious how much things had changed in just 365 days. 
Your words were a little slurred by 11pm, but the energy in O’Halloran’s was that of a night that was just beginning. Sophie came back from another group of classmates and made a face that meant business. You smiled and nodded at a friend from your NBC internship, Sophie did her best to not look obviously impatient. 
“Hey,” she tugged you aside eventually, her voice quiet when you both stepped away from the others.
“What’s up?”
“I know you might be weird about this, but Jason’s totally been watching you and Connor,” she offered an evil smirk. “So keep talking to him.”
“What?” You asked again, unsure where she was going and what she was up to.
“He seems jealous,” she shrugged. “He keeps looking over here a lot, probably wondering who he is.”
Right. Because Jason hadn’t actually come up to talk to you or interact with you at all since he walked in. Probably because of the Dean Vasquez meeting, which you hadn’t told any of them about.
“I’m not trying to make him jealous,” you told Sophie. “I’m just being friendly.”
You glanced over her shoulder. He wasn’t looking, but you did notice that he’d stationed himself so you were directly in his sightline. You hoped it was intentional. 
“Also,” you said, annoyed now. “He’s barely even been over here to talk to me. He’s been weird all night.” 
Her eyes grew with intrigue, always ready for drama. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “There was a…thing that happened.”
“Thing that happened?”
O’Halloran’s probably wasn’t the greatest spot in the world to tell Sophie this, so you tugged her wrist and pulled her into the bathroom. Sharpie on the walls and sticky counters. 
Once inside, you let out a deep breath. “We had a meeting with Dean Vasquez, about my independent study. About Cannes.”
She smiled, they were all hopeful you'd come and Sophie would probably burn down NYU herself if Dean Vasquez was a hard sell. “And?”
“And he asked me if there were appropriate boundaries in place.”
Even intoxicated, Sophie’s eyes went wide. “He knows you’re boning?”
“Soph--” you made a face at her word choice. 
“Sorry, having steamy and passionate sex?” She corrected.
“No, no one knows anything, so friendly reminder to keep your mouth shut.”
“Come on,” Sophie rolled her eyes. “He’s practically your boyfriend at this point.”
“No he’s not,” you said quickly, moving aside when she made her way into a stall. “Just because I’ve slept with him doesn’t mean it’ll ever be more.”
You’d been telling yourself that for so long it came out automatically, spilling onto the bathroom counter when Sophie leaned against the wall, unimpressed. 
“You end up at place after partying now and honestly I’m surprised he hasn’t given you a key.”
"Well, he told Jennie he's seeing someone, so, there's that."
"What?" She said from inside the stall, her voice loud when she flushed. "He's got to be talking about you."
"We don't know that," you tried to shake it off. You certainly didn't need to get your hopes up and think that he'd said no to Jennie because he was too busy saying yes to you.
"We don't," Sophie agreed, emerging from inside when she headed for the sink. "But outside of work and teaching and hooking up with you--would he even have time to be dating someone else?"
You would have replied, told her to shut it or something along those lines, but Jennie (of course!) pushed the door open and smiled.
“Hi,” you said quickly, mostly to let Sophie know that you weren’t alone.
“Who's dating someone else?” Jennie smiled eagerly, happy to get in on the gossip. 
“No one,” you waved her off. “Sophie’s being dramatic."
She grabbed paper towel from the dispenser with force, smiled at Jennie. “Just another one of the men obsessed with Y/N!"
You looked up at her, where the fuck are you going with this? “Not at all, actually.”
Jennie was excited now, her eyes lit up when she crossed her arms. “That cute guy out there who’s been with you all night?”
“Yes,” Sophie answered for you quickly, a nod to sell the lie when you rolled your eyes. “Our friend Max’s brother. He’s totally into her, right?”
“Oh for sure,” Jennie agreed. “He’s definitely into you.”
“Alright,” you laughed at the two of them, surprised that Jennie was now just as invested in getting you laid as Sophie always had been. “Well, I don’t think I’m going home with anyone tonight.” 
Which was probably a disappointment to Connor, seeing as he had a new drink waiting for you upon your return from the bathroom. By midnight you were pulled out to the sidewalk, the last few sips of a cocktail in your glass when Max handed you a joint.
Jason finally made his way over once Javier and Dan left, Jennie had said goodbye and climbed into an uber right when Jason made his way into your circle.
“Successful celebration,” he smiled, clinked his glass against yours but kept his voice low. 
“You’ve been all around tonight,” you commented on his socializing, a subtle acknowledgement that while he’d chatted with almost everyone here, you were at the bottom of the list. 
“I didn’t want to monopolize your time,” he smirked. “Seeing as someone else was doing that.”
You nodded, offered a challenging smirk up at him. “How considerate of you.” 
“Hi Sudeikis,” Sophie leaned over and butt into your conversation. 
“Hi Sophie,” he smiled down at her.
“Are we allowed to smoke weed in your presence, or are you going to code-shift into professor now that the clock struck midnight?”
You rolled your eyes at Sophie’s joke, took the joint out of her hand and took another inhale before Jason could reply. O’Halloran’s was thinning out, your classmates had left and most of the patrons inside didn’t seem to be NYU-affiliated. He laughed when you held your breath, blew the smoke up towards the stars.
“Easy there, slugger,” Jason’s eyes went a little wide but he took the last sip of his beer. “Twenty-eight might not be as forgiving.”
“I’m sure she can handle it,” Connor smiled from behind Sophie. All three of you turned at the sound of his voice.
“Yes, yeah, I just figured our night will be easier if I can get her home in one piece.”
Sophie stifled a laugh at Jason’s response: firm and territorial and for once, not cloaked in secrecy. Your eyes were wide at the plural possessive when you looked up at him, then over to Sophie. 
“On that note,” you smiled, “I would love to be in sweatpants right now.”
You backed away from the group, a wobbly one in heels that had Jason lurching to steady you on the sidewalk. Connor watched in quiet amusement, apparently piecing together that despite barely interacting all night, everyone knew you’d end up going home with Jason in tow. 
“It was great to finally meet you, Connor,” you smiled at him, waved and blew Max a kiss when Sophie made her loyalty known. 
“Ditto,” she pointed to Connor. “I’ll walk with you,” Sophie linked her arm with yours when Jason waited for you to make the move. 
“You can come,” you looked up at him and smiled. 
Sophie rolled her eyes playfully, “let’s go Sudeikis, let’s get this wasted bitch home.”
“I can hear you,” you laughed. 
“Am I wrong?” Sophie teased.
You thought on it, fell into step with the two of them towards your neighborhood. “No.”
It was the weed that did it--the last hit on the sidewalk outside that really made the world start spinning. Now, Sophie rummaged for your keys and turned the knob, Jason’s arm was around your shoulders when you tripped up the stairs. 
“Okay, one at a time,” he laughed a little, helping to guide you inside your apartment building.
“I’m fine--I’m just fucked up,” you giggled. 
“We’re aware,” Sophie reminded as she climbed up behind you. Two floors up, you huffed and puffed and forgot, in your state of inebriation, that Sophie and Jason didn’t spend a whole lot of time together outside of school functions. This became obvious once all three of you were in the living room.
“Are you gonna throw up?” Sophie asked, a hint of disgust on her face.
“No,” you shook your head, holding onto your kitchen counter for stability, eyes drooping with sleep.
“Water,” Jason nodded, a suggestion more than anything else. Sophie pointed to the cabinet by the sink, he found a glass and filled it from the faucet. 
Sophie helped you over to the couch, you kicked off your heels and took the granola bar she found in her purse and tossed to you. “Have a snack,” she said flatly.
“And drink this,” Jason walked over and handed it to you. You took it and sipped, then held up a finger and handed it back to him. “Not so fast.”
“I can stay with her,” Sophie nodded, eyes glancing down to you on the couch and then up to Jason. “Or you could,” she said quickly, nobody knew the rules. 
“I’m not going to die,” you reminded. "I actually want pizza."
“Yeah, uh, I’ll stay,” he nodded, ignoring your comment when his cheeks flushed. Sophie looked around the room, running through a mental checklist. Did he know where your pajamas were? Could he handle whatever mess you’d become?
You watched when he smiled awkwardly, a silent acknowledgement that this was weird but now out in the open. Sophie smiled at that, laughed to herself before she stepped forward. 
She kissed your forehead quickly, “be good for Professor Sudeikis,” she said with a smirk. 
You let out a guttural noise, one of frustration and discomfort and two parts intoxicated. Sophie clapped Jason on the shoulder, who tried his best not to laugh, and watched as she headed for the door. 
“Let me know if you need anything but I’m going to pass the fuck out when I get home.”
She opened the door, turned around and clutched her hand to her heart when she looked at the two of you. She let out a sigh, how adorable, Jason finally cracked a smirk and shook his head. 
“Goodnight, Sophie!”
“Goodnight!” She called, tugging the door shut behind her. One last glance only because she couldn’t let the two of you get away that easy. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”
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AN: WOW okay chappie thirteen finally! This one is long and eventful and I HOPE you guys like it! Fair warning now that I think chappie 15 will be....the end?!?!??! happy friday friends!
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4stars-uswnt · 4 years
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My Muse, My Valentine [Christen Press x Reader]
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requested by anon: Not sure if you’re accepting any request but can you write a cp x photographer gf where her gf surprised her at man u, like her gf secretly transfer there to be with cp. Thanks
A/N: please ignore some of the inconsistencies this story has with reality :) but anyways... hope you enjoy and have a happy Valentine’s Day (tomorrow) and remember it’s a day about LOVE, whether that be romantic, platonic, familial, or self ❤️
“I’m gonna miss you,” you whine, as you watch your girlfriend pack her suitcase.
“I know, babe. I’m gonna miss you too, so much.” Christen leans down to quickly peck your lips, before continuing to fold her clothes.
You and Christen had been dating for almost three years now, having met after you’d photographed one of the USWNT’s matches. You instantly felt an attraction to the curly-haired forward, your camera always drifting towards her wherever she was on the pitch.
After you’d posted a couple of your photos on your Instagram, which Christen made a point to like and repost, you gathered up the courage to approach her after a game, and thus began your relationship.
With yours and Christen’s busy schedules, it was sometimes hard to find time for each other, but you made it work, sharing an apartment in Portland during the offseason and flying out for matches when you could. But being a sports photographer did have its benefits, as your work often led you to spending more time with your girlfriend and admiring her speed down the field and score goals.
But now, with the pandemic, as the NWSL was struggling to field games,  you found yourself with little work. Christen herself was not quite satisfied with the league’s plan for the season, so when Tobin proposed the idea of going to the WSL, she desperately wanted to, yearning to get back on the pitch.
At first, when Christen approached you with the subject, you immediately opposed, not wanting to be so far from your girlfriend for such a long amount of time. Additionally, with COVID, it would be nearly, if not completely, impossible for you to visit. But after a blowout fight and discussing it further, you realized that this is what would be best for Christen and her career.
“Do you have to go?” You pout, sitting up and moving to the end of the bed.
“You know I do, (Y/N/N).” Christen playfully rolls her eyes.
“Humph.”
“Babe, come on, don’t make me feel worse about leaving you.”
“Then don’t,” you quip, grabbing your girlfriend by the waist, pulling her down on the bed with you.
“Babe!” Christen squeals, as you blow raspberries into her skin.
You lift your head from the crook of her neck, your eyes locking with hers. “I know that you have to go,” you admit seriously. “Doesn’t mean I like it, but I know that this is what’s best for your career.”
“Thank you, (Y/N),” she says earnestly, giving you a small smile. “We’ll text and FaceTime everyday.”
“I’m holding you to that.” You cup her face and bring her in for a kiss, savoring the feeling of her soft lips on yours. “I also know that you’re gonna kill it over there in Manchester. The WSL isn’t gonna know what hit them.”
Christen ducks her bashfully, a small blush arising on her cheeks. “You know I love you, right?”
“Of course, Chris. I love you, too.”
“Good.” She gives you a quick peck, as she gets up from the bed. “Now, either quit bothering me or help me. My flight is early tomorrow morning, and I haven’t even finished packing.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
—————
It had been a little over five months since you’d dropped Christen off at the airport and she left for Manchester. Despite the constant texting and the nightly FaceTime calls, you couldn’t help but ache for your girlfriend. Without her, the apartment was lonelier and the bed felt bigger.
It had helped that your work had started back up, first with some freelance work and then with the NWSL fall series starting, which gave you something to do and kept you fairly busy.
Currently, you were sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping on a cup of coffee, as you edited some photos for the Thorns. Just as you were saving your work and closing Lightroom, about to shut your computer, a ping alerts a new email in your inbox.
Switching tabs, you notice the message is from an unfamiliar address, so you presume it’s a new client. You click and open it, your eyes widening, as you scan the email:
Ms. (Y/L/N),
I noticed your professional portfolio through many referrals, particularly your work form the World Cup. I am writing on behalf of the BBC News Media Centre, and we’re looking for an excellent sports photographer to join the team, specifically to cover the FA Women’s Super League and the Premier League.
Your experience is outstanding, adn your work speaks for itself. I think you’d be a great fit for this role, and I’d love to tell you more about it and hear more from you.
Would you like to set up a phone or Zoom call soon? If so, let me know when you’re available.
Best,
Charles Smith
Director of Media Relations at BBC Sport
You quickly reread the email, and then reread it again, just to make sure you’re not dreaming. This was too good to be true. But you shake yourself out of your stupor and quickly type out a response to set up a phone call as soon as possible.
After hitting send, you shut your computer with excitement and throw your hands up in the air.
“Yes!” You exclaim into the empty apartment, as you throw your fist in the air and jump off the barstool.
Knowing you needed to distract yourself, otherwise you’d just be staring at your computer, eagerly awaiting the response, you decided to go on a run.
Jogging through the city, you think of your girlfriend and your potential reunion if this job offer worked out. You decided that if you did in fact take this position, you’d surprise Christen at one of her matches, hopefully one that you’d be able to photograph.
As soon as you arrive back in your apartment, you make a beeline for your laptop. You anxiously open your inbox and beam when you see Charles had replied to set up a Zoom call at 9:30 tomorrow morning. You excitedly type out pleasantries, telling him you’re looking forward to it.
For the rest of the afternoon, you were in an increasingly good mood. So later that evening, when Christen called you for your routine FaceTime, she could tell something was up.
“Why do you keep smiling like that?”
“Can I not be happy to talk to my girlfriend?” You tease, a huge grin plastered onto your face.
“You can,” Christen trails off, not quite believing you. “But you have the weird giddy look you get when something’s up?”
“Nothing’s up. Just had a good day,” you shrug nonchalantly.
“Okay,” the forward accepts, still eyeing you suspiciously. “Anyways, you know She Believes is in a couple weeks, are you working the tournament?”
“Yup,” you nod and make a mental note to mention that to Charles tomorrow.
The two of you continue updating each other, chatting about topics ranging from what you had for breakfast that day to re-inc’s upcoming drop.
“Alright,” Christen yawns. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”
You check your phone and see it’s 5:37 pm, meaning it’s almost midnight in Manchester.
“Okay,” your eyes softening at the sight of your sleepy girlfriend. “Good night, Chris. I love you.”
“Love you, too, babe. G’night.”
After ending the call and shutting your laptop, you head into the kitchen to make some dinner for yourself, getting on with your evening.
—————
The next morning, you anxiously await for Charles to begin the Zoom call, nervously bouncing your knee and biting your lip.
“Hi, (Y/N),” Charles greets, his face appearing on your screen.
“Good morning. Or rather good afternoon?” You correct with a light chuckle, to which he reciprocates.
“Well, as you know from my email, we are looking for a photographer to join our team, and from many referrals, you seem to be a very good candidate,
“So, I was thinking maybe we could look at your portfolio really quickly and then hash out the logistics to see if this is something that could work out.”
“Sounds good,” you agree, as you pull up some of your best pictures and share your screen.
The two of you look through your photos, many from the 2019 World Cup, some of the Olympics, and a few from random NWSL games.
“Well, (Y/N), your work is quite impressive. If you’re ready, and you’re seriously interested in this position, we can talk specifics, scheduling, all that good stuff,” Charles offers.
“I’m definitely interested, but can I just preface by saying that my girlfriend is a major part of this decision, so depending on what she wants to do at the end of the season will impact my contract.”
“Oh?” He raises his eyebrows, clearly not expecting your candor. “Your girlfriend plays in the WSL?”
“Yeah, well, technically only for this season. Her contract is up in May,” you explain.  
“(Y/N), to be completely frank, we’re looking to hire because a couple of our photographers had some personal issues due to COVID and had to leave mid-season,” Charles reveals. “So if it turns out that your girlfriend wants to go back to the NWSL, then we can work that out. And if she wants to stay, and you end up liking it here and you fit in well, we can also work that out. We’re pretty flexible.”
You sigh in relief, giving him a small smile. “Wow, thank you so much. So what would my contract look like?”
“Well, we can sign you to three month contract with the option for extension,” he offers, as you nod along enthusiastically.
“That sounds great,” you exclaim, beaming. “And just to let you know, I’ve already signed on to work the She Believes tournament from the 18th to the 21st.”
“That actually aligns with the WSL’s international break, and there are a couple Premier League matches that weekend, but I think we can manage, so that shouldn’t be an issue.”
“You guys are too kind and so flexible. I really appreciate it so much,” you say earnestly.
“It’s really just us being desperate for a good photographer,” Charles jokes.
“Either way, I’m grateful for this opportunity.”
“We’re excited for you to join our team,” he reciprocates. “So, in terms of when you’ll begin, I honestly would like you to come over as soon as possible so that you can get settled and get acclimated.”
“I am honestly ready to start whenever you’ll have me.”
“How about next week? The Manchester Derby is on Friday, and honestly, given your portfolio, I’d love you to photograph that match,” the British man admits.
“That’s perfect!” You were in complete awe of how perfectly everything was working out. Photographing a Man United match as your first job meant you could surprise Christen, maybe as an early Valentine’s gift.
“Great,” Charles smiles.
The two of you discuss and finalize your contract and the logistics of you starting the job. Once everything’s settled and you each have the information you need, you wrap up the call.
“Well, thank you so much, Charles, for this offer, and I can’t wait to see you next Tuesday.”
“I can’t wait to work with you and meet you. See you next week. Cheers.”
After ending the Zoom call, you begin to make a COVID test appointment, book your flight, and arrange your hotel room for the few days that Christen doesn’t know you’re there, preparing yourself for moving across the world.
—————
After landing in London, getting settled into your hotel, and meeting with the BBC team and the other photographers, you were now on your way to the Manchester Derby.
In the back of the black cab, you pull out your phone to text a good luck text to Christen.
It was difficult to keep your surprise a secret, especially when you were actually in England, because it was much more difficult to FaceTime without her noticing your change in setting. You had to make up the excuse that you were swarmed with editing and preparing for the upcoming Thorns trainings.
As you pull up to the Academy Stadium, you hear your phone ding.
Chris ❤️
Thanks babe. Miss and love you 😘
You quickly type out a response, before heading into the building.
(Y/N/N) 💗
Love you too. I miss u too but go kick butt.
The match was exhilarating. Not only were you a sports photographer, but you were also a huge fan of the game, enjoying a good game when you see one.
You watched in awe, the level and style of play significantly different from than NWSL. While snapping hundreds of photos of both teams, your camera would always somehow land back on your girlfriend.
Your heart ached for the curly-haired forward, as you missed her dearly. Until you saw her back on the pitch, you hadn’t really realized that you missed watching her play the game that she’d mastered, her movements around the pitch and on the ball effortless and elegant.
As the ref blew the whistle, signaling the end of the half, you scroll through some of the photos you’d taken, deleting some of the blurry and unfocussed ones.
A smile immediately forms on your face when you see a picture of Christen during warmups with a huge grin on her face. You spend all of halftime editing said photo and putting together an Instagram post for your girlfriend.
About fifteen minutes later, the teams take the pitch and you go back to doing your job. Throughout the second half, you could tell that Christen was getting increasingly frustrated, her team getting down 3-0 with only about five minutes left.
You watch as the players high five and hug each other, and you want nothing more than to run onto the field to be with your girlfriend, but you had a plan to stick to.
As the team goes back into the locker room, you pull out your phone to post a photo on Instagram and then you shoot a quick text to Tobin:
(Y/N)🤓:
toby go check out my ig post :))
Back in the Man United locker room, after Casey went through her post match speech, Tobin checks her phone and sees a text from you. The injured forward playfully rolls her eyes at your message but follows your directions.
Upon opening the social media app, Tobin raises her eyebrows, her eyes widening. She glances across the room to see if her best friend had seen your post, but Christen was minding her own business, changing into sweats after her shower.
“Chris!” The older forward calls over to the other woman. “Have you seen your girlfriend’s Instagram post?”
Christen furrows her brows in confusion. “What? No, what is it?”
Tobin waves her friend over and shows her the post:
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Liked by mrapinoe, ashlynharris24, and 638,231 others
yourusername: My muse, my valentine.
“As I sat and looked at her
and the rolling hills she sat upon
I thought,
what amazing luck I have
that the world had created
such beautiful things
and given me the eyes to see them.”
- atticus
tagged: christenpress
- - - - -
mrapinoe: Stunning pictures, (Y/N). Love you guys 💖
alikrieger: These photos are 🔥🔥🔥🔥
alexmorgan13: love this 😍😍
cdunn19: Beautiful!
glennondoyle: Love love love love this!!
ashlynharris24: Holy shit! Are you in Manchester????
↳lavellerose: Was this today??
↳sammymewyy: Oh my gosh it was!
↳kellyohara: Valentine’s Day surprise for Pressy?? 👀
Christen zooms in on the photo in the center, her eyes widening when she realizes that it is from today’s match.
“How did she get that picture?”
Tobin mentally slaps her forehead at her friend’s denseness. “Knowing (Y/N), she probably took it.”
“But that’s impossible. She’s in the States,” Christen states and shakes her head, dumbfounded.
“Actually,” you speak up, stepping into the locker room, deciding to make your presence known. “I’m right here.”
“(Y/N)?” Your girlfriend looks up at you, her mind in a state of shock.
“Hey, love,” you greet shyly.
Once her mind caught up with reality, Christen runs and jumps into your body, kissing you passionately but briefly and wrapping you into a bone crushing hug.
“I can’t believe your here,” she whispers into your neck. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, babe, so much.”
Unwrapping herself from the hug, Christen stares at you in awe. “What… how are you here?”
“We can talk about that later,” you give her another quick kiss. “But right now, I just wanna spend time with you. Maybe we can grab some dinner? You can show me around Manchester, considering I’m gonna be spending a lot of time here.”
Your girlfriend looks at you puzzled, but you just give her a wink with a small smirk on your face.
“Well, c’mon lets get out of here.”
—————
Back at Christen’s apartment, the two of you sit down for a nice and casual, but romantic, dinner you’d prepared along with a bottle of red wine.
After catching up, the forward finally decides to address the elephant in the room. “So how are you here? What’s going on, (Y/N/N)? You said earlier that you’d be spending a lot of time in Manchester, what does that mean? I’m so confused. Not that I’m grateful that you’re here right now and that I get to see you, but I thought you were working She Believes, and—“
“Chris,” you cut off your girlfriend’s endearing rambling. “Babe, you’re rambling.”
“Sorry,” she blushes, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
“I got a job with BBC Sport till the end of the season,” you answer her parade of questions.
“Does that mean what I think it does?”
You nod, while taking a sip of your water. “It means I’m yours if you’ll have me.”
Not having the adequate words to express her joy and excitement, Christen gets up from her chair, walks over to sit in your lap, and connects you lips for a searing kiss.
“I can’t believe you,” she breathes, rubbing her nose against yours. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you quickly peck her lips while rubbing circles on her hip. “But as much as I love you and all this romance, we gotta get going soon.”
Your girlfriend tilts her head in confusion.
“Do the words ‘She Believes’ ring a bell?” You tease. “If I remember correctly, our flight leaves in a couple hours.”
“You’re coming with me?” Christen asks, her brain trying to wrap around the fact that her girlfriend, who she hadn’t seen in almost five months, would now be living with her in England and flying back to the States with her for the next week.
“Of course, Chris,” you give her a cheeky smile, along with a kiss to her nose, as you quote a book Becky had convinced the whole team to read. “You should know by now that I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world.”
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ratingtheframe · 4 years
Text
10 Films to watch this Valentine’s Day if you’re single as hell.
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If anyone or anything is making you feel worthless on the Capitalist Holiday that is Valentine’s Day because you’re single AF, then don’t fret because it means one of two things;
You’re happy enough with yourself to not need anyone else.
You’re allergic to people.
Though mine is both the former and the latter, I can still get down to a good romance movie now and again. Now I’m not talking about those horrendous rom coms that Netflix seems to be churning out every damn minute, but those emotionally invested, earthy and well written dramas that has you ugly crying into your bathrobe for 17 minutes straight (me at the end of Her.). Here is a compiled list of some of the best romance films I’ve seen over the years and how each one doesn’t showcase an abundance of clichés and brands them as “acts of love”.
A Star is Born (2018 or 1953, take your pick)
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I’ve found that both the 1953 version of A Star is Born with Judy Garland and the 2018 newer version to be a perfect and well rounded love story. What makes this love story so fierce is the vulnerabilities and downfall of its characters, which even though there are many sad moments, it perpetuates and strengthens the acts of love shown in the film. Both versions are similar in that they follow a woman who’s rise to fame as a performer becomes overshadowed by her jealous partner, who is also a notable celebrity. In the 2018 version starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, Gaga’s character Ally is helped by a country singer, Jackson Maine to become a successful singer and icon amongst the music industry. As she rises, Jackson falls and the character dynamics and intensity between them is a fitting love story. I was thoroughly bawling at the end and I guarantee you will too as Lady Gaga’s rendition of Love Again was the true scene stealer of the film. 
Call me by your name (2017)
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I have an incredible bias towards this film and it has nothing to do with the film’s context or characters or even Timothée Chalamet The reason why I feel so connected to this film and proclaim it as my favourite film of all time is because of when I watched the film. It’s almost like seeing a film about a political event right after it's happened; you have this rush and connection towards something that’s actually affected you in the real world. I had the same feeling with Call me by your name after going through a rough and confusing patch whilst trying to get over someone I thought I truly loved. Turns out I didn’t (thank god) and yet Call me your name was almost like a shoulder to cry on. It’s a film that’s taught me to love and love hard but most importantly, not beat yourself up or try to distinguish the pain felt by true love. If you haven’t been fortunate to catch this beauty of a film, it follows two men, Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and Oliver (Armie Hammer) and their brief relationship in the summer of 1983 in Northern Italy. 17 year old Elio lives with his parents and his father (Michael Stuhlbarg) is a scholar who invites students from outside the country for the summer in hope of passing on his wisdom to them. This is when Oliver arrives, a handsome twenty something American who becomes the infatuation of Elio. 
I’ll never forget the first time I heard the monologue that Elio’s father gave his son at the end, explaining to Elio why he shouldn’t feel embarrassed by the pain he felt after loving Oliver:
“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste”
That, ladies and gentlemen and all in between, is what love is.
Her. (2013)
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Once again, another film about love that had a profound effect on me because of when I watched it. Her. follows the story of Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) and his search for a story using an A.I to help him write. However, after getting to know this A.I named Samantha (Scarlett Johansson) and hearing the way she adapts and shows emotions, he soon falls in love with it. Some may deem this as rather sad (which it is) but I think it speaks to bigger constructs like internet dating and letting go of people you loved thus diminishing the fantasy and world you created for the two of you. This part of the film got to me a stark way as I felt the pain of letting go of not only a person, but a fantasy, just like Theodore had to do in letting his past partners go. Her. is truly beautiful, with some great production design, cinematography and acting.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
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The absolute queen of love stories would be Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, a film about the romance between two women in the late 18th Century. Definitely not a narrative you see every day or one that’s been painted in such a way (pun intended). Marianne (Noémie Merlant) is commissioned to paint the beautiful and stubborn Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) and the portrait is to be gifted to a suitor of Héloïse’s from Milan. But instead of getting the painting done and sending it off, Marianne and Héloïse unexpectedly fall for one another at a subtle and well timed pace that had me gawping at the screen the entire way through. Slow, sensual and moving is Portrait of a Lady on Fire and I would definitely say is one of the best LGBTQ plus films ever made to date.
Broke Back Mountain (2005)
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Ang Lee scooped up a BAFTA, Golden Globe and Oscar for his direction on his adapted screenplay of Brokeback Mountain. Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) form a romantic bond after shepherding alone together on the side of a mountain. Once their time herding sheep comes to a close and they return back to their respective lives, it's clear that their bond is stronger than they had anticipated. They live in constant fear of their relationship becoming apparent to those around them, which leaves one of them taking matters into their own hands. A controversial yet extremely successful film of its time, Brokeback Mountain does a fabulous job of showcasing the consequences and despair of love using two of Hollywood’s finest actors.
Carol (2013)
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It’s difficult to fully appreciate LGBTQ plus films set in the past as they mostly focus on the persecution of homosexuals as opposed to the love they wish to express. However, this was pretty accurate of the time and it's only very recently that we have begun to accept one another’s sexualities and genders fully so much that we play these stories out on screen without the persecution part. Carol is a film directed by Todd Haynes and stars Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett. I found them to be an extremely intense pairing whilst they unravelled as their characters on screen. Therese (Rooney Mara) works in the toy department of a department store when one day she lays eyes upon Carol Aird, a beautiful and elegant married woman who becomes the infatuation of Therese. Therese throws all caution to the wind in order to be closer to Carol and because of this and the 1950s society they live in, their relationship is doomed from the beginning. I was in complete awe of the way Carol had been shot and created into this sensual and rich drama set in the 1950s. From the costumes, to the lighting to the acting, everything about Carol held weight to it showcasing the devotion of a truly talented director.
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (2004)
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Usually I’d pass on a Charlie Kaufman film, seeing as they make no sense, however I felt that it was time I delved into this cult classic starring Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood. It’s a really well made film with a clear and distinct message to it that’s represented in some phenomenal filmmaking techniques. The plot line of this film follows a man trying to erase a past lover and his memories of her get wiped away physically before your eyes on screen. It made me wish that I could do the same with people I’ve liked in the past, but the contradictory of this would be the trauma of eventually ending up with someone you had already met in another life. I haven’t experienced a break up nor felt the pain of one, though I could judge that this film tells that experience really well.
Moonlight (2016)
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Moonlight is one of few films that I would genuinely worship if it were a religion. It's also one of the films that I outwardly shame people for not having seen, as it is truly a masterpiece and film lover’s film. Deep, emotionally connected, colourful, harsh, moving and eye opening, this film takes you on an emotional rollercoaster through the eyes of Chiron and the three stages of his life that have carved out his essence as a human being. Not only that, but he falls in love with another boy at his school, and when he does, he’s hurt rather badly. Literally. Moonlight is the definition of profundity and was awarded the top prize of Best Picture at the 2017 Academy Awards. 
Loving (2016)
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When I think of a truthful and honest testament of love, the film Loving comes to mind which is a fitting title for such a delicate yet strong story. The film is based on a true story of an interracial couple, Richard and Mildred (Joel Edgerton and Ruth Negga) being banned from Virginia in the 1950s for choosing to be together. If that ain’t a true sacrifice of love, then I don’t know what is. Choosing someone you love over your own home is an unfathomable thing and certainly shows the strength that this couple had in facing the judgements of others whilst remaining emotionally truthful to themselves. 
The Shape of Water (2017)
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The Shape of Water is a strange yet enlightening love story between Eliza, a deaf woman (Sally Hawkins) and a creature being tested on in a laboratory. Awards season went mental for this back in 2018, winning four of the THIRTEEN Oscars it was nominated for. I would categorize it as quite the niche film and wouldn’t usually think that such a film could be garnered with Oscar success. However everyone who worked on this film really pulled out the stops in creating an entire new world and perspective that has many layers to it, as well as an abundance of conflict and dynamics for audiences to lull over. The relationship between Eliza and the feared swamp monster that’s being cruelly tested in the laboratories where she works, is heartfelt and honest, which is strange seeing as Eliza’s virtually in love with a monster. The casting in this was outlandish yet it really worked as all actors in this melded well into the story as their prospective characters. It also has one of the most touching endings to a film I’ve ever seen.
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And there you have it, ten Romance films for you to enjoy this Valentine’s Day. Watch them all at once, or maybe just watch one. Whether you watch it alone or with someone, it doesn’t really matter!
Lots of love
Ang x
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beevean · 4 years
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SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever
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[Translator’s note: this article was originally written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]
Hello again! Today we’d like to discuss about something that’s been happening recently, and probably taking Sonic fans by surprise: what is going on with SEGA and its stance about Sonamy?
At the beginning of this year, to celebrate the 200 articles on Seaside Hill Paradise, I finished what I call “the Sonamy trilogy” of articles that I started in 2018 and which cover different themes, such as:
SEGA and the eternal issue of the Sonic-Amy dynamic
“I love you” – Forbidden words in Sonic
SEGA and the eternal issue of “Sonic’s girlfriend”
The idea was to offer a more-or-less complete analysis about the many facets of their dynamic in the last 27 years; a dynamic that, you may have noticed, is not that easy to pin down, and that we’ve been updating almost regularly (although I also intended to investigate on other dynamics, like Knuckles and Rouge’s for example, and write about them). Generally speaking, in these articles I don’t draw objective conclusions about the status of the ship in canon (despite the fact that the available information tends to confirm it in various occasions). I also like to repeat myself and say that shipping is supposed to be for fun, not for tearing each other’s hair in that black hole of misery that is Twitter, but recent events left us slightly perplexed, and this is why we’re here once again.
We left the status of the Sonamy canonicity with these two peculiar instances back in August: Sonic mentioning his “girlfriend” in the Japanese version of Sonic Battle, and the Twitter account of SEGA of Europe saying Sonamy is their “favorite videogame romance”. Now, let’s recap a bit…
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Sonamy in Sonic IDW... Round 3
[SPOILERS ALERT FOR IDW SONIC #14-#35]
In 2018, when IDW just started, I decided to study a little how the Sonamy dynamic worked in this new universe. To our surprise, the comic didn’t waste time in dropping its biggest bomb, in one of the cutest scenes we had seen in ages. Since the very beginning, IDW proved that it didn’t intend to deceive those fans that looked for a bit of development of both characters.
I wrote an article about it in June 2019, and it coincided with the beginning of one of the most infamous arc I’ve seen in a Sonic comic for a long time: the Metal Virus Saga. The question is, what has happened since then?
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Well, in 2019, with the same accuracy of an aimbot, I said “We’ll probably see some new interactions between Sonic and Amy sometime around IDW #20”. And wouldn’t you know, as misery and tragedy settled in that arc, it was exactly around IDW #20 that we saw some Sonamy interactions: both exhausted, to their limit, with a Sonic that couldn’t even touch Amy to soothe her pain, due to him being infected with the virus.
The arc developed like this in what felt like an eternity, to finally conclude in one the most absurd ways in Sonic history. But it wasn’t a complete disappointment, as, after months and months of asking and discussing on the internet about how much Sonic and Amy deserved a hug at the end of the arc… it actually happened.
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Since that moment in IDW #32, we shippers thought that it was what both of them deserved after so much time spent separated and pushed to their limit to survive, but also that after the end of the arc everything would go back to normal. However, what we didn’t know was that the Sonamy train had no intention of stopping, not in IDW, nor anywhere else.
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A recurring detail in IDW Sonic is that Amy’s tail starts wagging every time she sees Sonic, as if she was a happy dog. I swear, it happens every time.
Come IDW #35, once again we have some hugs and bits of dialogue between our hedgehogs. For sure, the question here isn’t their relationship itself, as it was for IDW #2, but rather the issues this arc is slowly dealing with. But it’s really nice to see them again, sharing that closeness that they’ve had in the comic since the beginning– be it with some gestures of affection, a wink, a gesture, a private joke.
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My favorite image is the first one, Belle’s reaction to seeing Amy hugging Sonic. It’s like she’s thinking “oh, is she his girlfriend?”, and she wouldn’t even be wrong in thinking that.
It can’t be denied that IDW Sonic provided us the conversations and the emotions that the games seldom do. Certainly, the comic has its share of issues and it’s not really a story that I personally follow for its own merits (it’s more because it’s still Sonic, for my interest for things like this, and Belle’s existence… whom I already ship with Tails, sorry not sorry), but what it does well it does really well.
For now, we have to see how IDW Sonic will follow the development of the characters, especially in view of the closure of the current story and beyond. And we may be done with this part of the article, but there is still a lot left.
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Sonamy in merchandise
Taking us completely by surprise, recently SEGA launched, in collaboration with Hot Topic, a series of Sonamy-themed t-shirts. No, seriously.
So many people told me this as soon as the voice spread (you know who you are, thank you guys for thinking about me <3), and I can’t help being still surprised that this is actually a thing. T-shirts with lines like “You’re my favorite”, “Love in the fast lane”, and my personal favorite, “S&A Forever”, with drawings of Classic Sonic and Amy… in SEGA-approved products. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal this is, even more than “Celebrate the 25 years of Sonic’s girlfriend” from 2018.
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One of the things that surprised me the most (aside from how explicit they are in officializing the relationship, and the fact that there are still 2 months left before Valentine’s Day 2021), was the decision to use Classic Sonic and Classic Amy. I tried to understand this decision by analyzing the simplicity and easiness with which the Classic designs convey a message (let’s not forget that Classic Sonic was so iconic because it was specifically designed to convey his expressions without words), besides the fact that they’re inherently cuter than their modern designs. There’s also the controversial aspect of post-Adventure Sonamy, with all the dubbing and weird interpretations that the fandom made over the years… By comparison, the Classic design are a much simpler choice.
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What is actually going on?
Well, let’s take a step back and think about what we just saw. The way SEGA has been recently trying to push Sonic and Amy in front view (and for the entirety of 2020, based on the articles I mentioned in the beginning) tells us the harsh truth we all have to accept sooner or later: Sonamy sells, and it sells a lot.
From a strictly business point of view, the ship is so iconic and popular, with fans and detractors alike, that it would be absurd for SEGA to ignore the chance to print these two characters and get a load of money. As I said in my 2018 article, despite the fact that in Japan Sonic isn’t as big of an icon as it is elsewhere, they know pretty well that Sonic + Amy = love, and they have huge amounts of merchandise to back it up. It’s in the West that because of different cultural values, of which we’ve already talked about, along with some internal resistance, left this aspect of the franchise a little on the side. But they’ve been trying to fix it… and how…
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Let’s not forget that a decade and a half ago Sonic Team seriously favored Sonamy. They officially said it, Sonic X was their purest view of Sonic they had at the time.
Outside of the business perspective, I believe we’re facing the moment that we’ve been waiting for: it’s time they’ll establish once and for all the dynamic of these two characters, following more closely the original Japanese vision of Sonic. I said many times that, in trying to change canon, the West, especially SEGA of America, did nothing but confuse fans and generate more discussions than needed, by introducing different data and portrayals that contradict the canon established by Sonic Team.
We’ve talked about Unleashed and emotional support, about Sonic X, about the major moments that opened the door to interpreting this dynamic as something more. We don’t threaten at gunpoint those who would rather stay away, but we respond to those declarations that still try to violently discredit the simple fact that Sonic and Amy, who are most of all close friends, form in some measure a couple that, even with its imposed limitations, manages to captivate fans and not fans everywhere in the world. Even the Simpsons used it as a joke, and that says a lot.
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What the future has in store for us.
Unless something else happens in this last month of 2020, this is the most complete compilation I can offer at the moment about the status of Sonamy in the fandom and in the official canon. Yes, canon.
It’s impossible to ignore the signals. As you may have noticed, I’ve been considering Sonic and Amy as an official couple, with its clarifications (for example, that at the end it’s more of a friendship, that it’s not a romantic relationship in the most explicit way, that it’s more of a personal perspective to justify a more mature vision of the relationship in the future, not right now), but nowadays I think that SEGA has spoken loud and clear. I think canon is ready to negotiate the idea that Sonic and Amy, apart from being excellent friends who would risk their lives for each other in a heartbeat, have something else on their hands (probably the other’s hand). This won’t automatically translate into a kiss, or a complete love declaration (although Sonic X came close…), or a commitment to a formal relationship like we know them in real life. SEGA canon affirms that Amy is “Sonic’s girlfriend” and nothing more. Outside of that detail, they still pretty much function as friends interacting with a little flirting here, and a little Sonic running away there. It’s the basis of their dynamic, now enhanced by the fact that SEGA is giving us a clearer message.
I think that this all may culminate in a game or an animated series, but I wouldn’t completely count on that. It is good to recognize how far the official position goes on this issue, but at the same time I want to reaffirm that there are things that are better left in the hands of the fandom, and in the meantime that IDW or any other continuity gives us hugs, winks, gestures and words of encouragement, we as the fandom will take care of exploring other avenues and hypothetical scenarios.
This is all I have to say on the matter for now, and I hope you’re happy with this wonderful Sonamy experience we’re going through – I certainly am. See you next time!
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Single Parents
Updated 10 November 2021
Rest of the Masterlist.
A Beautiful Mess by MizuPhoenix (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben/Kylo is a new dad, left with a baby and note from a one night stand. Rey is his flighty loud neighbor, who always has way too many friends at her house and doesn't make things easy on his new lifestyle. They argue relentlessly, until one day an emergency calls for her help with the baby and spawns them into the path to something heated in a different way. ) Baby Fever by HerSistersKeeper (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is fine staying single, even if he does find Rey, the teacher who lives a floor up from him and his son, attractive and charming. His toddler, Matt, has other ideas.) Baby Shark by Melusine11 (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo, kindergarten teacher extraordinaire can handle a lot. Fights over who is the leader in line for the day, crying over not getting the right color crayon they want, puke after gym time, but the one thing that consistently raises his blood pressure is one damnable song.) Bearers and Builders by AverageEpaulet (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey needs a nanny for her daughter Hazel and Ben happens to be the just right for the job. TW: previous infant death.) Butter Crisp Sandwich by DarkMage13 (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Mr, I insist you join me for a tea party today, at precisely noon. My teddy will be there.” Ben glanced at the boring clock on the wall. Ten minutes until noon. He swallowed in fear. There was no escape.  Or: Ben Solo cannot say no to an adorable hazel-eyed little girl's request for tea.) Choreae Lucis by Shestoolazytologin (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo takes his daughter to her ballet classes and forgets his heart there.) chosen dreams by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is struggling with a fussy baby that won't stop crying. Ben's new neighbor Rey hears the crying and knocks on the door to see if she can help.) Close Enough to Kiss by Somewhere_overthe_Reylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's daughter comes with her to take a final exam. Dr.Solo ends up being soft for babies.) Expanding The Family Tree by WaterlilyRose (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Life didn't turn out exactly the way Rey imagined but she never imagined she could be this happy. Ben and herself were a good team with their daughter and proved themselves to be good parents.So if it worked once... why not again?) Father Knows Best by American_Punk_1990 (AO3 2016  Rated M Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is doing all he can to be the best single father that he can but he is in desperate need for a good baby sitter. Rey needs a new job and the absurdly tall, kind of goofy looking guy with the world's cutest baby seems to have a perfect solution.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 17 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As a child, Rey is mesmerized by ballerina Leia and grows up to become one. Single dad Ben and his daughter Stella fall for Rey.) Goodnight Moon by LittleAndikin (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's 3 year old daughter Lily won't go to sleep without listening to the library's podcast reading of Goodnight Moon. When she's in the elevator with her father & a neighbour, she recognises Rey from her voice as the person who reads to her every night.) Halloween Wishes by danceinmystorm (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo tries his best to make sure that his daughter gets to trick or treat and get candy for Halloween. Just as the night feels like a bust, their next door neighbor invites them in for a fun surprise.) Have My Everything by MotherofScavengers (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After months of convincing, teacher Rey is at last dragged by her friends to a strip club and gets gifted with a lap dance. When she's alone and waiting, she finally meets the dancer: Usually shy Ben, the single father of her favourite student. ) Hot Cocoa and Cinnamon by ABeautifulBreakdown (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a trip the the park leads to her child wandering off Rey is left in a state of panic. Distraught and over run with emotions she hunts down her little boy only to find him standing with a strange man who upon closer inspection doesn't actually seem so strange.) i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be, right in front of me by Lutrosis (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben’s the sweetheart nanny to Rey’s twin daughters. When her new boyfriend is frustrated that he’s lower on her list of priorities than her children, he dumps her. Rey texts Ben and comes home early to find her kids tucked in, and Ben, ready with ice cream.) I need a teacher by kyoloren (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad and photographer Ben Solo sets up to take photos of fashion model Rey at her place and accidentally stumbles upon her massive dildo collection. Rey, forever sexually unsatisfied, decides that maybe she should try the real thing…) I Was Lost (For You To Find) by LadyReylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 19 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “On Friday we received a visit from a man and his lawyer.” Mr Kenobi opened the folder on his desk. Rey instantly recognised it, her eyes widening, dread filling her. “What... what do you mean? What is going on?” She said, her tone firm. Whatever this was, if it involved her son, she needed to know the truth now. “His name is Benjamin Solo. And he claims his son was illegally put up for adoption eleven years ago without his consent.”) In Full Bloom by deedreamer (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When high school teacher Rey Kanata gets flowers with a cryptic message, she freaks out, thinking she's being hit on by one of her students. On a mission to find out who sent the flowers, she meets Ben Solo -- single dad and owner of the little florist down on Main Street. When the flowers turn out to be a delivery error, Rey knows her job's no longer at risk. But what she doesn't know is that she's about to fall head over heels for the man who keeps sending her flowers day after day because he's a goner for her, too...) In the Bleak Midwinter Came a Rey of Light by Reylo_of_light (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's luck had run out. No purse. No phone. And now her car had broken down and her toddler is crying. Lucky for her, her knight in a shining Tesla is about to pull up. Perhaps there are miracles at Christmas.) Island Holiday: A Reylo Christmas Story by Rey_KnightofRen (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Violinist Rey Niima is traveling to Hawai‘i to perform in her best friend Finn’s destination wedding the week before Christmas. She’s supposed to be playing a duet with cellist Ben Solo. Although Rey and Ben were rivals back in college, several years have passed since then and Rey discovers that Ben is now a VERY attractive and VERY eligible single dad. She starts to hope that her suitcase isn’t the only thing she’ll be bringing back with her from Hawai‘i…) Liam's Friend by Lady_of_Haven (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Neighbor Maz watches Rey’s son Liam while she works and goes to school. Maz pushes him in his pram at the park everyday at 12, which is when Ben walks his dog Kylo. Little Liam loves Kylo and Ben. One day, Rey is out with Liam at a coffee shop when he recognizes and reaches out for Ben.) Lizzy Solo by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Its bring your kids to work day and little Lizzy Solo meets Rey for the first time. "Are you the same Rey that my dad told Uncle Hux he was half in love with?") Locked Out by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single mom Rey has never accepted help from her neighbor Ben. But when she gets locked out of her apartment with a crying toddler, Ben is there. And Ben wants to continue to be there for them.) Love is Strange by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Or the one where Rey lies and tells her coworkers she has a loving husband and a son. Now the annual picnic is coming up and she needs a fake picture-perfect family. Fortunately, her friend Ben fits all the requirements.) Love's Mystery by Hartmannclan (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, 14 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo only needs one lady in his life; his daughter, Hope. So he is surprised to find himself intrigued by the masked woman who just spilled a drink down the front of his costume. Maybe this year the company Valentine's day dance won't be so boring after all? And what happens when he has to leave suddenly.....) lunch thief by thisismelodrama (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 34 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey’s son steals Ben’s daughter’s lunch and chaos ensues.) maybe we're from the same star Chapter 4 by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Living together was supposed to be easy. Another person to help with the kids, they already spent most of their free time together anyways.) My Dad Will Not Date Miss Palpatine (But Maybe He Can Marry Her) by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Annie Solo is perfectly happy with her Dad and brother and the last thing she needs is her dad's high school sweetheart coming to town and ruining everything. But maybe just maybe Miss Palpatine will be far better than she expected.) Neighborly by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and her son move into a new apartment and meets her new neighbor Ben and his cute dog.) Now I'm In It by crystanagahori (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: So Rey might have accidentally told her boss that she was bringing her loving husband and sweet two year old son to the fundraiser. She does not, in fact, have either. She does, however, have her neighbor Ben and his two year old son Noah.) Off guard by TheReadingNook (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The last thing Rey is looking for is love. As a single mom, her plate is as full as she wants it to be, but her son seems to think otherwise. And when he sets out to fill that void, they learn some interesting things about life, love, and the bonds of family and friendship.) Our Karate Kids by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey drops in on her daughter's karate class for Halloween, she meets Ben Solo, another single parent, and watch their children spar.) Overboard by Biekewieke (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Overboard AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Organa-Skywalker is a rich snob who hires her to clean his party barge, making her life difficult and fouls her mood. After a freak accident throws him overboard and Rey ends up saving his life. When he wakes up, it turns out he has amnesia. Rey sees it as the ultimate answer to all her prayers. She gets to take his arrogant ass down a peg or two AND she has someone to help around the house and with the kids for a while.) Please be my Daddy! by erney007 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Raising a child while having to do such demanding job is hard. Rey, an ICU nurse, accidentally finds out that her asshole neighbor, Ben Solo, is quite good at babysitting. After plaguing her child with Elsa obsession, Obiwan starting to call him “Papa”. And Ben kind of likes it.) Raincheck by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's 7 year old son tries to ask out his teacher Miss Rey on behalf of his father.) Rey's Braids by Magdalane (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's little girl falls in love with braided hairstyles. He watches video from the popular YouTube channel in which Rey teaches different braiding techniques. After weeks of failure, he DMs her on Instagram, desperate...) Say It With Feeling by amybeegood (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 18 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Meet Rey, the Maid/Escort who really needs a solid day job and Ben, the reclusive, virgin billionaire who doesn't have a clue about real life or how to hire household help.) Something About November Chapter 18 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben's adopted daughter finds a box of love letters he wrote and never sent, she decides she wants him happy for Christmas. With help from her Aunt Gwen, she sends her the letters.) Something Missing by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An angst-free AU where Ben takes his kid to work and loses track of him only to find him eating contraband candy with Rey from IT.) Take Me Out To The Ball Game by empirestrikesben (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is sitting with her daughter next to Prince Ben at a baseball game. Her daughter sneaks popcorn while her mom's distracted. The video goes viral and Queen Leia invites Rey and her daughter to the palace.) that's where you take me by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben asks his daughters nanny Rey to live with them during quarantine so she can help take care of her while he works remote. Lots of domestic proximity and mutual pining ensues.) The Ties That Bind by Telcontarian (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Professor Ben Solo rules the classroom with an iron fist and he is not generally known for his kindness or for his understanding. However, when Rey approaches him to ask for help with her daughter, Kira, Rey finds that Ben is more gentle and caring than she originally thought.) To Play Pretend by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is tired of being hit on by some of the mums from his daughter's kindergarten class. He asks his friend Rey to come with him to pick up his daughter as his pretend fiancée.) To Say Good Night to You by dawninthemtn (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is living a lonely quarantine when he gets a FaceTime call from a random toddler. He makes friends with the child, and eventually, her mother.) Violet Solo Turns 5 by hellocienne (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Little Violet Solo is Ben’s entire world. His daughter is the most precious person in his life, and he is adamant about doing anything it takes to keep his little girl smiling. Despite Violet’s obvious charm and charisma, not even one of her invited classmates went to her 5th birthday party, and she is about to get an intense meltdown that not even Ben—super dad extraordinaire—could keep under control. Enter Rey Niima—Ben’s coworker who he might or might not be in love with for the last three years. She’s Violet’s (other) favorite person in the whole wide world, and this woman will truly do anything for Ben’s precious little girl. Even if it means sending a group text to her friends who all live in different parts of the city, and inviting their children to attend a spontaneous birthday party.)
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johannesviii · 4 years
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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020
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You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.
What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.
Disclaimers:
Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.
Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.
My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.
I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.
So. Uh. How was your 2020?
Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.
The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.
Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.
Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.
The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).
The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).
Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.
I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.
Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year
Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.
Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.
I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good
So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.
But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.
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Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.
First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.
I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.
Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.
If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.
One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.
And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.
And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.
I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.
I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.
Phew.
It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.
Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.
Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.
Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.
WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.
Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.
Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.
Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.
And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.
10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)
US: #3 / FR: #23
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Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.
So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.
9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)
US: Not on the list / FR: #93
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Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.
I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.
8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)
US: Not on the list / FR: #76
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[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -
(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)
7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)
US: #19 / FR: #3
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What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.
And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.
6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)
US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)
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“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.
I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.
5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)
US: #48 / FR: Not on the list
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That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.
4 - Dynamite (BTS)
US: #38 / FR: Not on the list
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I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.
Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.
3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)
US: #62 / FR: Not on the list
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What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.
I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.
The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.
Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.
2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)
US: #28 / FR: Not on the list
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I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.
So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.
What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?
I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-
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Oh.
1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)
US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)
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Surprise. Or not.
Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.
I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.
Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.
Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.
See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.
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hobeymakar · 4 years
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Best Part | E. Pettersson Imagine
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This one is dedicated to my girl @petterssonsdoncic
A/N: This was based off the song Best Part by H.E.R. & Daniel Caesar (aka my future wedding song). This also takes place in a universe where COVID-19 never happened and I used the 2019-2020 schedule in this
Word Count: 1,766
Warnings: Explicit language and brief sexual content
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You don’t know babe. When you hold me. And kiss me slowly. It’s the sweetest thing. And it don’t change. If I had it my way. You would know that you are
Gabbie wakes up to Elias sleeping peacefully beside her. The team is in the middle of a 6 game home stand, so she’s taking advantage of much needed time with Elias before he leaves for another road trip. Tomorrow is Valentine’s day and she’s excited for her 3rd Valentine’s day with Elias. Knowing him, he’s gonna surprise her with something extravagant like he has the last two years and she’s mentally preparing herself for that.
She goes to the kitchen and starts making breakfast, knowing that the smell will get him out of bed.
"Good morning, min kärlek. Did you sleep well?" he asks, kissing her forehead.
"I always sleep better when you’re home," she smiles.
"Good thing I'm here for another week then.Tomorrow I’m taking you out all day. I gotta make this Valentine’s Day better than last year’s," he informs her.
"Do I get at least a hint as to what we're doing?" she asks.
"No, not at all, babe," he replies.
"Asshole," she groans teasingly.
He smacks her ass hard, causing her to screech, "Elias!"
He laughs before running to their bedroom.
You’re the coffee that I need in the morning. You’re my sunshine in the rain when it’s pouring. Won’t you give yourself to me. Give it all, oh
Gabbie wakes up the next morning to see Elias gone. She knows that he doesn’t have practice today. She starts her daily routine and goes out to the kitchen to make breakfast. After a while, she notices he hasn't come back home and texts him.
To: Elias Bear 🥰
Baby, where are you?
From: Elias Bear 🥰
Get ready for your special surprise. The girls are coming to get you
To: Elias Bear 🥰
Oh, idk what you’re planning but I still love you
From: Elias Bear 🥰
I love you more
She gets ready and before she knows it the girls arrive at the condo with a message on a card that reads, “they say love at first sight exists, but I never knew it did until I laid eyes on you. Stop by the place we first met and you’ll get your next clue”.
“Seriously? A scavenger hunt?” she scoffs.
“Just follow along. He spent a lot of time and effort on it,” Holl urges her.
“Alright let’s go!” she sighs, shaking her head.
I just wanna see. I just wanna see how beautiful you are. You know that I see it. I know you’re a star. Where you go I’ll follow. No matter how far. If life is a movie. Oh you;re the best part, oh. Then you’re the best part, ooh. Best part
It’s been a few hours and Gabbie is growing restless. She’s been going all over Vancouver and she’s tired. She wishes the girls would just tell her where Eias is so she can get to the surprise already. Eventually, they arrive at the spot where Elias asked her to move in with him. They arrive at the Jericho Beach boardwalk, even though it’s freezing in early February.
She sees Bo Horvat and Gus, Bo and Holl’s dog. Gus walks over with an envelope in his mouth. She takes the envelope into her hands and opens it. She reads it and turns around. She sees Elias down on one knee.
“Gabbie Cortez, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m so glad I met you at the BC Lions game. Will you make me the happiest guy on the planet and marry me?” he asks.
Gabbie has her hands over her mouth in shock and keeps gasping “oh my god!” and nodding.
“So is it a yes?” he asks nervously.
“Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” she cries out, nodding and smiling.
She hears cheers all around them as Elias slides the ring on her finger. He then gets up and kisses her passionately. After a few passionate kisses, the couple breaks apart and she notices that the whole team, the WAGs, and her immediate family are there. She lifts her hand up and shows off the diamond ring, making everyone cheer again.
It’s this sunrise and those brown eyes, yes. You’re the one that I desire. When we wake up. And then we make love (Make love). It makes me feel so nice
Gabbie and Elias wake up early to Elias’ alarm going off for his 2pm matinee game against Anaheim. He notices the sunrise and looks into her brown eyes and thinks he couldn’t be more in love. 
“Babe, look at the sunrise,” he points out, kissing her forehead.
She turns her attention to the sun rising through her open window. They watch the sun rise peacefully before she straddles his waist.
“I’m not usually awake this early,” she informs him.
“I know you’re not. You’re only awake this early when you have 8am class, which you don’t anymore,” he teases, referring to her being a 3rd year film student at UBC.
He tries to get out of bed but she refuses to let her grip on him go.
“Babe, I’m gonna be late to the game and Green is gonna bench me,” his hand on her thighs gently.
“You’re not going anywhere without a kiss,” she teases.
He kisses her and she kisses back easily, not caring about morning breath. The kisses quickly become heated and the thought of being late quickly gets pushed to the back of his mind.
It’s not until after he comes down from his post-orgasm haze, that he realizes he’s gonna be late if he doesn’t leave the condo in less than 10 minutes.
He shows up to the locker room with a minute to spare before being late and mentally fistpumps the air. The guys chirp him for the fresh scratch marks all over his back. He chirps back that at least he’s getting laid unlike some of his loser teammates.
You’re the water when I’m stuck in the desert. You’re the Tylenol I take when my head hurts. You’re the sunshine on my life
Elias catches the flu on game day against Minnesota and is forced to be scratched. He blames Quinn for it somehow and Quinn tells him to fuck off and to get a better immune system. Luckily, Elias has Gabbie who takes care of him and fills him up with some weird Flipino herbal tea that her grandma makes, as well as some Filipino version of chicken noodle soup. She also puts rice on the bottoms of his coup bowl.
He doesn’t question it and just eats it up while thinking it’s the end of the world.
“Babe, I think I’m actually dying. It’s official! I’m dead!” he sighs dramatically.
“Shut up, you big baby. That’s why you have an incredible fiance to take care of you,” she assures him with a kiss to his forehead.
Four days later, Elias is over the flu, unfortunately he manages to give it to Gabbie.
“I’m sorry, babe,” he sighs, as she lays in bed miserably.
“It’s my fault for being all over you. I should’ve slept in the guest room,” she sighs miserably.
If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you? Won’t you? If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you? Love me, won’t you? If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you? If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you? Love me, won’t you? If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you say something? If you love me, won’t you? Love me, won’t you?
“Babe, I have a gift for you,” Gabbie informs him, as he comes into the room after practice.
“A gift?” he asks, curiously.
“Yeah, just something I think you would like,” she replies, handing him a box.
He opens the box and sees a stick that looks like a thermometer in there. He shoots her a quizzical look. 
“Just grab it and read the screen, babe,” she sighs, rolling her eyes at how dumb her fiance is.
“What is this? There’s two lines on this? What does that even mean?” he asks in confusion.
“Babe, what do girls take when they’re supposed to get their period and they don’t get it?” she asks in a duh tone.
“Wait is this a pregnancy test?” he asks.
“Yes, babe and on the box, it tells you what the lines mean,” she explains.
“Okay on the box it says two lines means pregnant and it has two lines,” he says, before pausing when he realizes what he just said. “You’re pregnant?”
“Isn’t that what it says?” she asks in an obvious tone.
“Is this fake?” he asks, sniffing the stick.
“Babe, I peed on that. That’s nasty!” she squeals, grabbing the stick from him.
“Wow, I can’t believe this!” he cries out in shock.
“So are you happy? Are you mad?” she asks, dying to know what he feels.
“Of course not babe! I would never get mad at you over something like this! I guess I gotta go call my mom,” he says, getting up.
“Babe, don’t tell anyone yet!” she cries out, stopping him in his tracks.
“Why not?” he asks suspiciously.
“Because I need to see my gyno first to confirm it and because I’m on my period,” she informs him, biting back the urge to laugh.
“Wait what?” he asks in confusion.
“It’s a prank, babe! I’m not actually pregnant. I got my period this morning. I just wanted to know how you would react if I really was pregnant. So congrats you passed the test!” she teases.
“That is not funny! You really scared me! I was actually starting to think about getting a bigger condo and all the shit we’d have to do and buy for a baby,” he groans, slightly ticked off.
“I’m sorry baby. It was just a harmless prank. You still love me right?” she asks, burying her face under his neck. 
“Of course I do babe, but I hope you know I’m getting you back for this,: he informs her.
“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” she smiles, kissing him.
She doesn’t know how she got so lucky to have Elias Pettersson, but she thanks the Lord for bringing them together at that BC Lions game a few years back.
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ashkazora · 4 years
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2020 Fic Roundup
Stats:
Fics Posted (Total): 13
In chronological order: Cold Floors and Warm Hearts - a fluffy shance fic about the three times Shiro accidentally wakes up in Lance’s room. Exchange fic. 3,441 words.
These Boots Are Gonna Walk All Over You - a small klance fillet based on the US tv show, The Blacklist. 639 words.
the water was dark (and it went down forever) - a Lance-centric gen fic exploring his relationship with the Blue Lion, and her control over him. 15,618 words.
Coffee Grinds and Morse Code - a post-s8, Shance fic written for the valentines shance exchange! 3,593 words.
Nectar and Ambrosia - my first Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt fill for the square ‘denied food as punishment.’ Lance whump. 2,641 words.
there ain't no rest for the wicked - another Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt fill for ‘big brother instincts,’ but this time with Plance and Lance whump. 3,508 words. 
Of Claws and Steel - a science-fiction, super sentai cat armour AU entered around the Lions as futuristic mecha armour. Most underrated fic here. 14,344 words.
Hairline Fractures - another Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt fill, ‘bleeding through bandages.’ Lance whump (again). 5,059 words.
Leverage - last Bad Things Happen Bingo fill for the year, for the prompt ‘on a leash.’ Featuring Shance, and Lance and Shiro whump. 7,743 words.
Lay It Down To Save It - Leakira Klance AU written for Leakira week. Made in collaboration with @crapoftheworldblr​! 18,102 words.
to the stars and back - The Dragon Prince Plance AU with Prince!Lance and Elf!Pidge. In collaboration with @rosieclark​! 36,574 words.
Sweeter Than Honey - written for the Blue Moon Lance zine! Features BAMF!Lance as the honeypot on a mission. 4,098 words.
In The Closet - Klance fic for the winner of my fic giveaway. Fluffy, and definitely a bit saucy. 2,363 words.
Fics Posted (Gen): 5
the water was dark (and it went down forever) Nectar and Ambrosia Of Claws and Steel  Hairline Fractures  Sweeter Than Honey
Plance: 2
there ain't no rest for the wicked to the stars and back 
Shance: 3
Cold Floors and Warm Hearts Coffee Grinds and Morse Code  Leverage
Klance: 3
These Boots Are Gonna Walk All Over You Lay It Down To Save It  In The Closet
Collaborations: 2
Lay It Down To Save It to the stars and back
Ship/Character breakdown:
Ship breakdown:
This year, the biggest ship I wrote for was Shance (3 fics), with Plance (2) and Klance (2.5) coming in from behind. The k/l ficlet doesn’t count as a full fic.
Character breakdown:
Of the 13 fics, Lance is in the most with 13 (insert surprised pikachu face here), then it goes Shiro (12), Keith (10), Pidge (8), Hunk (7), Allura (6) and Matt Holt (2). Other characters appear only once, such as Coran, Haggar and Kolivan. Technically, the Blue Lion clocks in at 2 mentions. 
Characters that had the main focus:
Lance had the sole POV for 7 of those fics, and shared POVs (in a collaboration) iin 2 additional fics. Shiro had the second most POVs at a total of 3, while Keith had 1 sole POV and 1 shared POV, and Pidge with one shared POV.
Specifics:
Best/worst title?
Best title: the water was dark (and it went down forever), but honestly so many other fics has titles I liked. This title was based off of the Tim Winton short story by the name name, The Water Was Dark And It Went Down Forever, where the main character swims and debatably drowns. So it’s fairly fitting.
Runners up titles include Sweeter Than Honey, to the stars and back, and Lay It Down To Save It.
Worst title: Hairline Fractures. It’s dumb and it makes no sense. It was the first thing that came to mind.
An honourable mention includes Leverage, which would be first if not for the fact that the title inspired the ending, so it’s not too bad.
Best/worst last line?
Best: From the water was dark (and it went down forever):
Blue’s grasp on him was like an endless expanse; an opulent and brilliant ocean. Her waters were dark, and  it went  down forever.
This was definitely my favourite, even though it’s pretty cringe. The way it was formatted in ao3 and the way it related to the title plus the reoccurring symbolism of water made it pretty neat!
Worst: From there ain't no rest for the wicked:
Pidge laughed, and turned her back from the darkness.
I’m sorry. This ending was so cringey. I hate it. There’s nothing else to say except I have no idea how to fix it. Oof.
General questions:
Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?
tbh, I wrote a lot more, considering I had my final exams this year. Breaching 100k was crazy. 
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?
Honestly? Klance. I’m not the biggest fan of the ship but writing it is very interesting, and I enjoyed it. 
What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.
Of Claws and Steel hands down! It’s the first fic idea I ever had for VLD,  and the one I really love the most. One day I’d love to write a continuation of it, but the reception of the fic wasn’t great so idk.
Okay, NOW your most popular story.
the water was dark (and it went down forever) even though it was started in 2019, was finished this year and is my most popular fic of all time! It’s got 4k+ hits and 450+ kudos. Crazy, since it was only supposed to be a dumb little warm up fic to get me back into writing in preparation for Of Claws and Steel. Alas, turns out people really liked it!
Story most underappreciated by the universe?
Of Claws and Steel. It was the fic I worked the hardest on this year but got the least amount of attention :)
Story that could have been better?
Easily there ain't no rest for the wicked. There was so much plot and so many things I wanted to include but didn't. There’s a lot of things missing and bad plot flow. One day if I got more time, I’d love to write more on it.
Sexiest story?
In The Closet, hands down. It gets a bit steamy with a k/l makeout session. Originally it was going to be a lot saucier but I wasn’t too comfortable in my ability to write it well ahaha. 
Saddest story?
None of my stories were sad, per se. Most of the sad ones were more scary/foreboding rather than actually being sad. I guess to the stars and back right now, because it’s dealing with Lance’s insecurities and Pidge’s desperation to find her brother (and a lot of other things, which will be revealed in the future!)
Most fun?
Sweeter Than Honey! It was fun to write and is my most fun fic. BAMF!Lance and his witty commentary is always a great laugh.
Story with single sweetest moment? 
I can’t choose :,). It’s a three-way tie between Cold Floors and Warm Hearts’s last scene where Shiro realises Lance bought him the necklace, Lay It Down To Save It’s scene that I can’t say because it’s technically unpublished ;), and to the stars and back’s scene where Lance and Pidge talk about what they would like to be in life (ch3).
Hardest story to write?
Probably Of Claws and Steel, as I completely stagnated on the story for a long time. It took me 8 months to write it. Without Rue’s help, I probably would have taken so much longer. Runners up is Leverage, as it took me like a solid week to write 90% of it, and 3 more months to write the remaining 10%. For some reason, parts of that fic were such a pain to write. 
Easiest/most fun story to write?
The easiest was definitely to the stars and back. I could relate to a lot of Lance’s actions and thoughts in the fic, so writing his POV was super easy and rather cathartic ngl. However the most fun was probably Sweeter Than Honey, as it was super self indulgent ahaha.
Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?
Lay It Down To Save It changed my perception of Keith. I don’t particularly like Keith in canon, but I’ve warmed up to his fanon self and general character after writing from his POV.
Most overdue story?
Of Claws and Steel easily! It was the first VLD fic idea I had but took 8 months to write. Oops? 
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
For the first time I incorporated HTML coding into my fics, which taught me a lot about coding and different ways to convey certain messages and detail things. These codings altered fonts and colours, which you can see in 
What are your fic writing goals for next year?
Write my tua/vld au fic, which will be my first solo multi chapter fic, and hopefully finish it by the end of next year. Also, sticking to a consistent writing schedule and try to write at least 100 words a day, plus finishing TSSAB. I’d also like to finish some more BTHB prompts!
That’s all, folks! Thank you all for sticking with my writing! Hopefully 2021 brings even more writing, fun times, and great fics. Happy New Years (in 24 hours), everyone!
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Happy Valentines Day Quotes for him… Happy Valentines Day Quotes for him Source by anmolkundlas
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mearihellalicious · 3 years
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It’s 4 o’ clock in the morning in the most humid city I have ever lived in. I was suddenly awakened by a random noise outside my apartment. As a light sleeper, dozing off again is a hard thing to do. So,what would a solitary woman do at this time of the day? Reminisce. Think of the good old days.
Out of the blue, I stumbled upon my chat box. Heaps of ‘ancient’ talks strolled me down through memory lane. One particular conversation with a guy urged me to write this expressive piece.Perhaps this confession is no longer valuable now since it has been several ages ago, but the thought of penning down a revelation thrills me at this exact moment.
They say the best memories in a person’s life happen in high school — when we are too old for playgrounds but too young for night clubs. I can’t say it’s true for me, but I do have happy high school thoughts. We've been classmates for four straight years in high school. Back then, we were paired up through the matchmaking prowess of our classmates. They assumed we looked good together, that we had ‘physical chemistry’, if that’s even a valid phrase to describe it.
True enough, you were quite a good-looking guy but I was not attracted to you in the slightest bit. Nevertheless, you were the kind of guy who knew how to carry yourself in the most desirable way possible. You were always neat and sweet-scented. You could pull off a white shirt and jeans outfit and would simply look gorgeous.
All throughout my mundane high school life, you consistently made me feel ‘special’ but I hardly cared at some point. The way I treated you was on a mood to mood basis. At times, I rode along with your trips, no matter how strange; other times, I felt irritated with your insistent presence. Sometimes, we seemed to be getting along pretty well; most times, I argued with you and ignored you for no acceptable reason at all.
During summertime, we communicated through text messages or landline calls. I could recall how bipolar I was by asking you to move on from me and promised to remain friends once classes start in June. But the next day, we would cry over the phone, asking each other to hold on to whatever we have — although I didn’t know what was the most appropriate term to label that kind of relationship. We seemed to be more than friends but less than lovers.
As each year passed, we became closer to each other. I was aware of how you felt about me. Everyone else in the class knew it too since you were vocal about it. Yet I didn’t take your emotional state seriously. I would talk to you only when I felt chatty or when I needed something. Every time it rained, you would take your polo shirt off to cover me so I didn’t get wet. Whenever I was hungry, you fed me. Goodness, you were a selfless man!
But then again, I took you for granted because I was eyeing on someone else. I had a lot of silly crushes, not to mention, I went crazy over them. You made me know how jealous you were of the guys I fancied but it was no big deal for me. You quickly became just an option. Despite myself, you stayed still.
Then one day, I was walking alone around the campus, a group of freshmen were calling my name. One of them introduced herself to me. She told me she was your sister. I didn’t realize until then that she was attending the same school.“You’re Ellen, right? My brother really likes you and even keeps your photo under his pillow,” she exposed. From that day on, we somehow became friends. She teased me an awful lot as she revealed all the weird things you did and just how much you adored me.
Every Valentine’s Day, you never ran out of romantic ideas. Although I was single, I never felt out of place. When I arrived in school, a small bouquet of flowers was already waiting for me onmy desk with a note or chocolates with it. You even baked cake for me when I requested it from you. However, on our last ‘Hearts Day’ in high school, things were different. Something happened two days before V-Day.
As an active girl scout, I normally spent my vacant time in that room exclusive for us. When we entered the room, my friend saw an envelope on the floor addressed to me and was signed as ‘secret admirer’. I didn’t believe it until I saw the letter and read it. It was about the sender’s love for me and the hope that I felt the same way. I was clueless who it was from but our classmates pointed their fingers at you. You stubbornly denied the claim saying, “It’s not me. Don’t flatter yourself!”
The next day, I found another letter from ‘secret admirer’. It was an acrostic poem of my name. The words were so deep and heartwarming that I could feel myself melt. Finally, on the 14th of February, another letter came. It was very simple — a whole sheet of bond paper filled with ‘I love you’. I thought there was nothing to it until I noticed there were some capital letters in them, which my best friend and I figured the message, “Please meet me today at the YES-O (Office) at 6 PM. I will be waiting for you. Please don't bring anyone. I want you to be solo. Don’t worry, I only want to introduce myself.”
I was sold to the belief that someone was playing a prank on me so I didn’t plan on meeting the sender.It was raining hard that day and we were having our daily girl scout formation at the oval field. Suddenly, you arrived and called out my name. I excused myself from the drill to meet you when you said, “Someone’s waiting for you at the office, why didn't you go?” “For real? I don’t care whoever he is,” I replied. Then with downcast eyes, you answered, “Honestly, it was me.” At that point, you handed flowers to me and I teasingly punched you in the arm. It felt so awkward that I rudely sent you home. That was our final romantic encounter.Before we graduated, we made a pact that if wewere both single by year 2019 (I’m not even sure of that anymore), we’d meet each other again at the Taoist Temple and we’d start things right.
Several months later, I got into a relationship. We didn’t see each other for quite some time and the communication spiraled from little to none at all.Surprisingly, on my first birthday after high school (since my birthday falls during summer), I was at home when a kid approached me and handed a letter with a rose and said, “Someone asked me to give it to you.”
As I learned it was from you, I ran hurriedly outside the house, hoping to see you again, but you were already gone. I was so moved knowing you still cared for me even when I was already dating someone. You went through all the trouble just to greet me. A few days later, I argued with you for what you did, for simply disappearing. As an apology, you paid me a visit and we chitchat over the pizza that you brought.
During college, we had separate lives. The last conversation we had in 2012 was about our plan of going abroad together, particularly Germany. You wanted me to meet your grandmother and you even said you would still marry me. Perhaps it was meant to be a joke, but I probably believed it at that time.
All of a sudden, you met your first girlfriend. I came out from two terrible relationships while you were in a blissful state with her. I saw all her posts of your little surprises for her, your sweet gestures. I knew the feeling too well and I understood how lucky she was. I felt nothing but pure happiness — that you finally found someone who could love you the way you were supposed to be loved.
Unexpectedly, I noticed that I could no longer see any of your updates in Facebook. I searched for your name and I realized I was already blocked. You unfollowed me on Instagram and you removed me as your Twitter follower. Complete loss of contact.
The last thing I heard was your relationship with her was going strong and you were intensely in love with each other. I used to envy her but I realized that no, I don’t wish to be her. I don’t deserve a man as great as you are. I might not be able to handle you. I only wish you all the happiness in this world.You may not be my TOTGA but you were my sweetest ‘what if’. I hope when you get married, you would at least invite me so I get the chance to witness the happiest day of your life. Yes, there was never an ‘us’ but there was you — someone who once in my life treated me right — because once upon a time, you were my fairytale.
PS. to whoever know him, please don't mention his name:)
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aftgficrec · 5 years
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Staff Recs - Fluff
Hello fandom friends, we so hope you all are well. We’ve chosen some fluffy feel good fics for this round of staff recs, so grab your favorite cuppa, curl up, and enjoy. - AFTG Fic Rec Fam
Take My Hand by SpangleBangle [Rated: T, 3820 Words, Complete, 2018]
When Neil and Andrew get roped into competing in a dance reality TV show for publicity after coming out, Andrew is against the idea. But maybe it's time to show the world the truth of their relationship. Words have never been his strong suit, but this might be enough.
under the kitchen lights (you still look like dynamite) by ephemeralsky [Rated T, 26365 Words, Complete, AFTG Big Bang 2019, Locked]
(Andrew's recent Google search history: ambient sounds to help you sleep, what qualifies you for a service dog, why do cats like to sit in boxes, daily horoscope scorpio, does quoting shakespeare mean you're being flirted with, buzzfeed quizzes food, how to be neighborly)
((or: in which Andrew and Neil are neighbors who do various neighborly things))
tw: ableist language, tw: mild violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/non-con, tw: implied/referenced self-harm, tw: panic attack, tw: dissociation, tw: implied suicide ideation
NB: Hmmm. Lots of trigger warnings for a feel-good rec. Andrew and Neil have some bad days, but the fic is overall very warm and has a happy ending.
what if we kissed... and we met on tinder by djhedy [Series, Rated T/M, Updated March 2020]
So he guesses this is a thing now. Neil. Neil and him. Neil who messages every day.
tw: ace-blindness on the part of well-intentioned friends
Wanted: Random Guy by fuzzballsheltiepants [Rated T, 5989 Words, Complete, Valentine’s Exchange 2020, Locked]
Neil's just trying to get through life as a math major, surviving primarily because of his favorite coffee shop and his speculation about all the regulars there. When an ad appears on the coffee shop bulletin board looking for someone to take fake couple's photos with, he decides to give the guy a call. After all, it could be entertaining...right?
i just had a growth spurt (took so long, my tippy toes hurt) by Talls [Rated G, 8448 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2019]
In which twins scheme against the wishes of their older cousin to be left alone for the last few days of school before summer vacation.
Featuring a lovely school nurse, the weird kid, Matt Boyd's weak stomach, two important libraries and a blushing teacher's pet.
bloom by uwereamazing [Rated G, 4919 Words, Complete, 2019]
bee always told andrew that life was comprised of seasons.
(or andrew learning to love his life in four parts)
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tabloidtoc · 4 years
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OK, March 8
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Bruce Springsteen
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Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse
Page 2: Contents
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Page 3: Contents
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Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay
Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being
Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts
* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business
* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick
Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this
* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers
* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids
Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o
Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley
Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa
Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together
Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire
Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe
Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection
Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood
Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.
Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills
Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC
Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.
Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills
Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat
Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most
Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier
* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment
* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm
Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it
* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible
* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged
Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal
Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith
Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish
Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision
Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins
Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried
Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup
Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez
Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection
Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin
Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber
Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore
Page 54: Entertainment
Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset
Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin
Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker
Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood
Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16
Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1
Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed
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jikookinthekitchen · 4 years
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Dates & Spending Time Together
BTS being constantly busy -- touring, promoting and recording means they all spend a lot of their time with one another, but Jimin and Jungkook spend a considerable amount of time with each other outside of band duties. Honestly they spend SO MUCH time together that doing a comprehensive list of their activities is impossible. Here are just some of our favorite moments.
Rehearsals 
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Watching Fireworks together - Jimin was so happy! (05/13/2019)
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July 15, 2019 fireworks tweet 
Staying up all night in the Soop. The mosquito net incident! (paid content - In the Soop Ep 7 behind the scenes)
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When you realize Jimin is sitting behind Jungkook in the 3rd picture ;_;
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Sharing cars
Jungkook telling staff he and Jimin will ride together
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This one starts with Jungkook trying to get into the same car with Jimin, but Tae drags him to a different car and then Tae goes w/ Jimin. The fact that Tae has to drag Jungkook to a different car to get to spend his own time with Jimin is hilarious. 
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May 19, 2019 MetLife Arena in New Jersey 
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Leaving Bang Bang Con
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Jimin saying how they ride in the car together all the time and how he listens to Jungkook singing 8 hours a day - Memories 2019 (paid content)
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Visiting Namjoon and Hoseok on the set of their solo MVs
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Eating Together
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Jimin and Jungkook talk a lot about how they “click”. Even in the early days you could tell they had a lot of fun together when Jungkook let himself relax and Jimin wasn’t pushing too hard. As a result of how well they get along, they spend a lot of time together both in a work environment and outside it. Here are just a few of the Jikook dates/hangs that we know about.
Since both boys are from Busan, they have been making the trip home for the holidays together for years now. Here are just a few of the documented instances of them travelling to Busan or back to Seoul from Busan together.
January 2015 - Busan trip 
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January 2016 - spotted taking the train to Busan. JM’s dad picked them up. 
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January 30 2017 - spotted coming home from Busan together on train.
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Here are some date nights/outside of work hangs with other members, by themselves, or with friends.
March 2016 Jimin and Jungkook attended a Big Bang concert with J-Hope. 
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October 28 2017 Jungkook and Jimin went on a trip to Japan together during their time off from BTS. According to a fan that spotted them at the airport, Jimin’s dad, Jungkook’s dad, and Jungkook’s brother dropped them off. You can find more details about this trip in the Big Moments section.
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February 15 2018 -Jungkook and Jimin went to an escape room with Jimin’s friend Sungwoon.  Jimin and J-Hope had been doing promo in Japan prior to this. Jimin returned to Seoul on 2/13/18 without J-Hope. Jungkook was at Jeju Island with his family until 2/12/18 and returned to Seoul alone. Who knows what they did for Valentine’s Day. I just hope everyone had fun.
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July 2018 during filming of S3 Bon Voyage, Jimin and Jungkook used an airport layover to have a breakfast date. Not a super huge STATEMENT but they are cuddly through the entire 11 minute behind the scenes cut and the breakfast itself feels domestic as hell. 
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October 4, 2018 Jimin posted this to Twitter after Episode 2 of Bon Voyage aired. BTS went on a boat ride together. At the end of the night, Hoseok, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin (Taehyung hadn’t arrived yet) got off the boat and Jimin and Jungkook went back out to watch the red moon together. During the episode, the Big Hit editors put [Star, Wind, and Romance Mood] as the caption for this date. (Filming was in summer of 2018) 
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November 25 2018 BTS returned from their Osaka, Japan concerts to Seoul. Jungkook and Jimin immediately went skating at the famous Lotte World Ice Rink together. The video was filmed by a person who claims to have seen them in casual passing and recorded them, but many people believe they are a sasaeng (stalker fan). We’ve decided to include it here. It’s been spread around so much at this point that it’s easily googleable.
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And to lunch afterward at the Golden Pig.
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And seen walking home from ice skating by fans afterward
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 June 5 2019 Jimin’s friends came to London to watch BTS perform at Wembley Stadium. Jimin and Jungkook went out with them for a day of eating and sightseeing. Especially meaningful when you consider that Jimin has said in the past he doesn’t really like sharing his friends group with anyone.
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May 29 2019 went to see Avengers Endgame together. Jungkook loves Iron Man. Jimin said he cried at the end. 
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Late August/Early September 2019, Jimin decided to take a spur of the moment trip to Paris with a friend at the end of August. On August 31st at about 9:15 pm Paris time (5:15 am on September 1st in Korea, aka Jungkook’s birthday), Jimin posted a video to Twitter wishing Jungkook a happy birthday. 
Jimin’s video message on Twitter 
Video translation:  Jungkook-ssi! Happy birthday. I sincerely wish you a happy birthday & eat lots of delicious food. May you live a long life. Let's have a drink later!
Meanwhile, actual Jimin was on an 11 hour flight back to Seoul to surprise Jungkook for his birthday. We learn from a vlive Jimin posted on his own birthday in October, that he got in late that evening, went straight to Jungkook, then got up the next day to get on another flight to Hawaii for a pre planned trip with a different friend. The things we do for love.  
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Speaking of literally no one would take an 11+ hour flight to spend a couple of hours with their co-worker on their birthday, let’s move on to Boyfriend Privileges!
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17 March 2021 Additions to Reylo Holidays
These fics have been added to the Holiday list located here.
Christmas
Mistle-oh-no by KyloTrashForever (AO3  2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey kisses a stranger at a holiday party.) Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday by CaliforniaQueen (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Celebrating finishing school and getting a teaching job, Rey Jackson and her friends go out for a night of drinks and letting their hair down. When she meets the beautiful stranger at the bar, she decides tonight she's going to break a rule and be the bad girl for a change. Their one night together turns out to have disastrous consequences for everyone involved. But is being tied down as bad as Rey thinks it is, or is she just afraid to let herself be happy?) Scrooged at Crossroads by apisa_b (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Kylo Ren is a workaholic Grinch with anger management issues - until his life is changed by falling in love and being visited by a ghost.) A Heavenly Holiday by ElleRen31 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo needs to find Christmas gifts for his family. At a local department store, he finds more than he bargains for.) Christmas Eve Will Find Me (Where the Lovelight Gleams) by Love_andbalance (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Christmas Eve. Ben stares at the train that he and his now ex were supposed to be departing on. A noise behind him turns his head, a beautiful girl yelling at the SOLD OUT ticket booth. He looks at the 2 tickets in his hand and back at the girl. "Fuck it," he says, walking up to her.) Keep On Giving by MaryMonster (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is eagerly awaiting the delivery of her Christmas present, a luxury vibrator. There’s only one problem – it was accidentally delivered to her neighbor, Ben Solo. A cozy Christmas Reylo fic full of fluff and smut.) Let It Be Me by elemie89 (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has found the perfect Christmas tree. Only problem is, someone else thinks it’s a perfect tree too.) Merry Christmas, I'm Yours by captain_staryeyed (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After finding out that Rey has nowhere to go for Christmas, Ben invites her to spend Christmas at his parents’ house. During the time spent together, they are forced to confront their growing feelings toward each other.) Dark Carols by Nyx_Fedra (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: CW: Suicidal Ideation. Ben Solo wasn't liked around the office. He had outbursts of rage, and he was generally rather unpleasant, harsh, difficult to get along with. He seemed to despise others and to be disinterested in anything anyone talked to him about. Rey didn't like him very much, their few encounters had been difficult, some even shouting matches. To her eyes, he was spoiled, ungrateful of the privileges he’d been granted by life. He refused to join Resistance enterprise for a long time, working for Snoke instead, he was harsh with Leia and Han, hostile with Luke…It all changed two months before Christmas, when they entered Resistance enterprise headquarters to find Holdo dishevelled, alone when Leia never missed a day, and she informed them that Ben Solo had almost succeeded in committing suicide the night before. Rey’s world tilted upside down. ) If the Fates Allow by dawninthemtn (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Leia Organa is the most successful matchmaker in the world and renowned creator of irresistible.com, where she built an algorithm so airtight her corporate headquarters is wallpapered with wedding announcements. To her chagrin, the only person she’s never been able to set up is her own son, Ben. But she has an employee named Rey that she has decided is Ben’s perfect match, so she hatches a plan to set them up. Unbeknownst to his mother, Ben has set up an anonymous profile on irresistible.com and has been writing his match Rey for months.) All I Want for Christmas (Is Smut) by MizuPhoenix (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: All Ben Solo wanted for Christmas was to lose his V-Card. Only, the reason he was still thirty years old and hadn't lost it yet was all due to one Rey Jackson. His very best friend. Rey wanted quite a lot of things for Christmas this year. All of them involving her first friend (and love of her life) Ben Solo.With meddling friends trying to bring the oblivious pair some Christmas cheer, this was going to be a very Smutty Christmas.) Gelt by RebelRebel (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "I only need a few minutes of your time," she continued, voice faltering slightly under his gaze. "To discuss my proposal for the purchase and refurbishment of the Plutt Orphanage in Brooklyn Heights– " In which Rey works with Kylo Ren, Advocacy Director of the Organa Foundation, to spread a little Chrismukkah cheer.) smothered, covered, chunked by SecretReyloTrash (BadOldWest) (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is a painfully shy college student. Rey is the fellow insomniac next door. He finally gets to see where she goes in the middle of the night when he hears her leave the dorm.) Homecoming by ItsALilah (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After disaster rips through his hometown, Ben Solo finally comes home to surprise his parents at their annual Christmas Eve party. And if he's hoping to run into Rey, the girl he's secretly been pining for since high school, that would be... cool. Although he'll never make a move, not while her over-protective older brother - and Ben's best friend - is around. But when Ben makes it home, not only does he find himself reconnecting with his friends and family, but fate itself seems to be pushing him and Rey together (thanks to a ridiculous amount of mistletoe).) Got a Feeling we Should Just Go Home by slugmutt (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Spending the week before Christmas with sullen deputy-CEO Kylo Ren is the last thing on earth Rey wants to do. Going back to his hometown with Christmas-loving Rey in tow is the last thing Kylo wants to do. But with a little help from family, some holiday magic, and a stray blizzard or two, they might start seeing things differently.) A Reylo Christmas Carol by Crackedkybercrystal (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Before the dawn," Hux intoned, "you will be visited by three spirits. Heed their message Kylo Ren, least you end your days like me." It was only now that Kylo perceived his old partner to be bound with a great chain around his waist, weighed down by heavy blocks.) The Set-up by CajunSpice714 (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.) Bespoke by L_awlietxoxx (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is miserable, stumbling through his life in London without seeing much of anything. Then Christmas sneaks up on him, as does a little shop and a woman who makes custom ornaments to meet the needs of any heart. Suddenly, Ben sees everything.) Valentine’s Day
forever valentine by bellestar (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben makes a confession in his wedding speech. He knew he was going to marry Rey when he and Rey were 4 years old and she gave him a Valentine she made and colored herself. And 21 years later, he still has that Valentine.) Halloween
Housewarming by ArdeaJestin (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When her best friend Rose asks Ben Solo to help on moving day, Rey knows she's in trouble. If only those big strong arms didn't make her forget what an obnoxious jerk he is every time she looked at him.) How You Turn My World, You Precious Thing by BensLostTookaCat (VillainTheBlank) (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He's the hotshot asshole who leads The First Order, the legal arm of The Resistance. She's the new company liaison who has been assigned to The First Order to keep them accountable.The annual Resistance Masquerade Ball is about to turn Kylo and Rey's worlds upside down.) Haunted Corn Maze by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bonds with her work buddy, Ben.) Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.) you're my boo by murakamism (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's neighbor Ben Solo is the only one who ever shows Halloween spirit around here. When she discovers he's moving out, she's only hurt because that means she won't have anymore competition... right? So she sets out on a plan to make him stay.) Thanksgiving
New Beginnings by reylocalligraphy (AO3 2018  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben comes home for the first time in five years, it happens to be Thanksgiving dinner. He’s surprised to meet a girl who’s working for his father… an odd girl his parents seem strangely fond of.) Of Penmanship and Discourse by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, 35 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey Kenobi's professor and advisor, Luke Skywalker, refuses to give constructive criticism or facilitate workshops for his students, she decides to seek help else where. Ben Solo (or if you read his published work, Kylo Ren) is on the brink of insanity. The literary magazine he is editor for is racing off in a new direction-- and is leaving him questioning both its morals and his love for writing. To find his intellectual and creative needs met, he decides to turn to the internet. A PenPals AU no one asked for.)
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allsystemsarenotgo · 4 years
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A friend and I were talking one day, and she shared this with me.
She was much like me, raised with a quarter between the knees, terrified of the things we were taught to avoid and trying to live reasonably noble lives. She wasn't allowed Birth Control for religious reasons (pro-life) as well as to prevent enablism. Her family was much more religious than mile, though I still went to church during my Sophomore, Junior, and Senior years of high school.
She married a guy 10 years older than herself, who was a long-time routine customer of her family's business. They married right after she graduated high school, long before she applied to higher education.
She is a nurse now. She has 3 kids, works long hours at a hospital, and her husband is a successful farmer as he always has been. She struggled at times, but she made it through.
She knows life would have been easier without the first child, but she was innocent and naiive and I think she realizes that she jumped in the deep end of the pool before learning how to swim.
I did the same thing.
All through high school I pledged to abstinence until marriage. I hated everything to do with sex. The topic, the drama, the action, the result. I wanted nothing to do with it.
But I also never dated through grade school at all. I never had a girlfriend. Plenty of crushes (M.S. above being one of them), but just as many denials. Because I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have FFA animals, or play athletics, I also wasn't a member of any social group. I was always the kid in the corner of the cafeteria scarfing food down in 5 minutes and sleeping the other 20, or asking to go to a teacher's classroom, where it was serene and quiet.
My freshman year of college, I even wrote an essay on abstinents for English class. That really didn't go over well in regards to having to read it out loud. There might as well have been fruit flying at me.
My dorm was set up such that we had 3 private bedrooms that shared a living space and bathroom. One of the roommates always had girls over, and he never tried to be quiet (or if he did, he failed...badly).
So those two things were my indoctrination to college life. Getting judged and leered at for writing an abstinence essay, and having to listen to a roommate multiple times a week.
Towards the very end of my freshman year, a girl from high school messaged me. We started talking, and she admitted that she had always had a crush on me and was too shy to ever say anything.
Error #1: For no good reason whatsoever, I agreed to formulate a relationship with this female
So when I moved home from the dorms, I hung out with the lass a few times, but my parents were moving out of the country and closer to my school, so I could live at home. That meant that this would now be a 1.5-hour-each-way medium-distance relationship.
So every 4th or 6th weekend during the remainder of that summer and into the fall semester, I would drive up and spend a day with her. Sometimes, I would drive her out of the country and into the city to give her a glimpse of escape (it was very impoverished where we grew up).
Error #2: Doing whatever made her happy
I really enjoyed the time that we spent together. She got me a purity necklace for Christmas that year. She said she understood that my preference meant something to me.
But then, something changed. She would start dropping enuindos and jokes and send me photos that I didn't ask for.
Error #3: Not standing up for myself
She said that I meant something to her, and asked me if she meant something to me. At the time, I did not comprehend that as a trap...but I wanted to make her happy, so I said "yes".
The next thing I know, she is booking a hotel for us for Valentine's day. Wherein, I learned a thing or two or five or ten that I really wasn't interested in learning in the first place.
-Provides Clorox to help scrub the thoughts from your mind-
After that, she wanted me to come see her more and more often. But I was tied up with school and life.
Mind you, we usually had a phone call every night, or at least every other night. Same time, right before bed. Sometimes we would fall asleep on the phone with eachother.
Error #4: Accepting anything as fact
Well one night, I called her, and she answered...but it was noisy in the background, like she was driving. But she never talked while driving, and wouldn't answer the phone with family in the car.
She said she was in a friend's car and they were going to the beach for the night, which was completely reasonable for the time of year and her group of friends. She cut the conversation short saying they had arrive, so we bid our greeting. But she didn't hang up, and something told me that I shouldn't either. So I didn't.
"Who was that?"
"Don't mind him. He was just calling to check on me. He's controlling like that."
"He sounds like a jerk"
"Enough about him. He won't do this."
-Provides more clorox-
And that's how I found out that her primal needs were more important than our "relationship".
Unfortunately, shortly after I broke up with her, I was sent a photo of her quite visibly pregnant. Fortunately, the timetable did not add up to Valentine's day (aside of the fact that it was physically/biologically 95% impossible).
That summer, I started a job at the student newspaper. Right off the bat, one of the graphic artists and I got along very well. We spent way too much time at work talking to eachother and goofing off, instead of working. Enough so that our boss took notice and things got tense for a bit with him. We still cranked out work no problem, but we were both too young to understand workplace policy and procedure when it comes to "dating but not dating", which is basically exactly what we were doing. We spent alot of time together. I would go to her dorm after class and we would watch movies and just goof off or do whatever. We enjoyed time together.
Error #1: So cliché. So, so cliché.
So Valentine's day rolls around, and she asks 'the question'.
So something in biology: There is a term called "Once an animal has the taste of blood, they will always hunt for it." Unfortunately, humans can sometimes be considered a sub-species of the animal kingdom.
Like the dumbass that I am, I accept to the terms and conditions.
And at the end of the night, she asks: "So are we officially dating now?"
"I...I guess?", I answered nervously.
Errors #2 to #457: Not escaping
And just like that, I was suckered into nearly 2.5 years of having a FWB while having to, very creatively at times, mask it as a legitimate relationship.
We enjoyed the time we spent together.
We enjoyed going places together.
My mum liked her, her parents liked me. (Dad was skeptical at best and thought I could do better)
The small issue: I struggled to communicate at times. I didn't know how to find my voice, so there were times that I would have to text her how I felt. Sometimes I would hide in a corner just so I could cry. (I later learned of my autism, and it all made sense and I learned how to resolve this)
The big issue: I was completely burned out on intimacy. After almost 2.5 years of emulating laboratory rabbits, I was done. My usefulness had expired.
The biggest issue: We were both suffering academically. We had no common interests at all anymore, and we had put eachother ahead of our own academics so much that we were both risking academic expulsion.
So we mutually agreed to break up.
She dropped out of university (and never went back or finished her schooling), and I changed majors twice before getting my Bachelor of Science.
My first relationship lasted from June 2009 to April 2010.
My second "relationship" lasted from February 2011 until May 2012 (Although we started spending time together in significant amounts starting August 2010)
I have not had a girlfriend since May 2012.
I had one friend in my senior year of college, who gave me some non-physical affection while also keeping me firmly locked in the friendzone. But quality time, by itself, only goes so far.
I have not had any physical affection since May 2012.
I have not spent quality time with a female since May 2013.
For most of that time, from May 2013 to August 2019, I really didn't mind it at all. I have been so tied up in working, hobbies, and life in general, that I completely ignored women.
But as my birthday loomed near in October 2019, it donned on me....I was on a crash course to being eternally lonely.
So I have tried online dating. I have gone on a few first dates, but no second dates.
Sometimes, I want to give up. The fight just doesn't seem worth the reward.
And honestly?
Sometimes I feel exactly like my friend's remarks at the top of this post. Sometimes I wish I would have been a little more rebellious, a little more care-free, a little more out-there.
But at the same time, ...
Sometimes I wish that neither relationship would have ever happened.
That I would have never learned the true definition of intimacy.
That I would have never done whatever it took to make the other person happy.
That I wouldn't have been such an easy push-over.
That I would have stuck to my initial pledge in life
That I would have spoke up more and defended myself.
All I am now, is damaged product.
I don't truly know how to love.
I don't truly know how to feel.
I don't truly know how to be myself.
I don't truly know how to be intimate.
I am human, I am male, so of course I have my moments. But I don't want that to be the reason for a relationship. I want it to be the least-important factor, or not a factor at all.
I want a relationship founded on trust, honesty, fortitude, common interests, personality, maybe even a little faith.
Not intimacy.
I just want to not be invisible, or to only have one attribute visible.
I want to be seen for all the other attributes.
I am not A-sexual. I still feel emotions and feelings. I just don't want to let them out of the locked box which contains them. Not without lots of context and preparedness.
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