#Had a nightmare last night that by the time I got into the ticket queue pit was like $5k a piece LMAO.

[iero]

I’m not trying to be overly negative, but I’m genuinely afraid that literally no one will be able to get tickets this Friday, scalpers will grab them all and we’ll have to deal with fucking, like, Eras Tour level pricing up until the show dates.

[blueberry-beanie]

Coldplay at Olympiastadion München | 15th August 2024

It happened! I saw Coldplay and got to live the dream once again. Here are some things I remember from my concert adventure.

Okay so let me tell you about my 5th ever Coldplay concert. I haven't been in such a huge venue since 2017 and so I was a little bit nervous when I realised that the Olympiastadion fits around 65.000 people. But I wasn't alone because I had Marta and Andrey with me and we met many nice people along the way.

14th August - The day before the concert

On the day before the concert I left home at 8:30 and it was a mess from the start. Deutsche Bahn couldn't decide whether I was 3 hours late or just on time or whether the train would be overly full or not. It kept changing over and over again but in the end I actually only had 15 minutes delay. On top of that, it was very hot for all three days, so everything got more exhausting. I didn't have troule finding the hostel, though, because it was next to the one I stayed in last October. I had a six-bed-room with other girls and all of them knew Coldplay! Three girls from Croatia were even going to the concert as well but they had seats so they wouldn't be queueing. Another went to see Adele that same evening.

Marta, Andrey and I met up in the evening at a burger place to discuss plans. Actually Marta experienced quite an odyssey, because her car had broken down with a flat tire. Marta had been volunteering for Love Button the entire day where she had been giving out food for people in need. She brought an entire bag a full of Coldplay-themed bracelets with her. I got the golden-black one that says "Birds". Even the waitresses got some. We decided that we would be queueing for front row on the left side where Jon is, although Andrey and Marta would have enjoyed to go to the B-Stage. They agreed because Andrey has already been there once and Marta had another shot with early entry on Sunday. Andrey would be queueing for early entry tomorrow and Martha and me would be queueing for general admission.

15th August - Queueing

The night before the concert I had really horrible dreams and kept waking up because of these nightmares. But in the morning I actually felt surprisingly rested and took a tram to get to the stadium at 10:00 a.m. Munich is a building site. There were barriers everywhere and I was so confused about how to get to the stadium, which I could clearly see in the distance. Still there were dozens of fences in between! I kept walking a road with stage trucks and several security guards but I got to the right entrance eventually, where Marta was already waiting for me.

We were really fortunate because we stayed in the shade of a couple of trees for the entire day. As it was very hot and sunny it would have been a nightmare to queue in the full sun. We were still waiting for Marta's friend Stella to get a notification about whether she has a standing ticket. Martha won a ticket by volunteering, but she didn't know which type. Many nice people were with us. There was a mother and her daughter Sarah, who were really nice. At some point a girl from Twitter arrived with her dad and we all realised very quickly that he needed gluten free food. So we all started providing him with snacks, tomatoes and more. Nobody had to be hungry. At 1:00 p.m. the merch stand opened. It was a tent right across and Marta bought a poster and a t-shirt for herself and fetched me the tour book as well. Her hostel was nearby, so she brought the merch there for safekeeping.

Marta was actually the local celebrity for the entire Olympia park. She even made it to official Twitter accounts because she looked like a mixture of a hardcore Coldplay fan and a disco ball. She had a glittering dress and a self-made grey jeans jacket with a painted hot air balloon, Mylo Xyloto ornaments and many patches with several different bands, planets and more. So she was definitely the star outfit-wise. People even started asking her questions about the concert because she looked like she was the most knowledgeable person.

Chaos at the gates

The only pain in the ass was the organisation of the entire thing. Nobody put up a barrier on the side so that people from the left started pushing in. Everyone got up way too early because they didn't realise that the entrance was delayed by 30 minutes. That is because the band was really late, as Marta said, their plane had been delayed and they actually didn't start soundchecking until after 4 p.m. Too late, because this is when we should have been let in. From Andrey we knew that they hadn't been let into the stadium either, so there was no way that they would open the general entrance anytime soon. Meanwhile it was too late, people had started getting up and getting excited and squishing together. It was really uncomfortable for the last hour of queueing.

There were two girls in front of us who somehow had decided to go to the toilet before all the excitement started and who had a very hard time joining us again. Same with Stella, who actually got a standing ticket and had to make her way through the crowd to us. The worst thing was that they suddenly opened the gates at 5:00 p.m. without any warning. They didn't even say "Get your tickets ready" or "Prepare your bags" or anything, they just opened the gates without a single word. Suddenly everyone started pushing and I didn't even have my phone in my hand. It was a mess!

Once you got through the security check and the ticket control you had to go even further to the edge of some stairs. The stairs were really steep and led to the inside of the stadium. Security didn't let us go down there by ourselves since it was too dangerous. They assembled a crowd before leading us down. This was very stressful and you could see all the early entry people flocking to the stage down there and also the mass of people in front of you. We had decided that we wanted to get to section GA1 which is basically Jon's side, but when we arrived down there they had only GA3 open which is for the catwalk and the B-Stage. I asked security why they didn't let anyone into GA1 and they replied "We don't know" and "We won't let anyone in there". One minute later they suddenly decided that they would, surprise! So we were actually lucky to get into the right section after all.

When we arrived at the corner of the catwalk and the a stage, where we wanted to be, there were already so many early entry people. Andrey had not managed to save a space for us and he also wasn't facing the A-Stage but the catwalk. This is how it happened that Marta, Stella and Andrey were on the catwalk side and I was in the same corner but facing the A-Stage. I just didn't want to let that spot out of my sight, because I really wanted to have that amazing view of Jon and this is where he would be.

The people around me were actually quite nice. There were two older women in front of me. They seemed really calm and friendly and then there was a daughter with her mother also in front of me to the left, who seemed a bit less approachable. Behind us to the left was a group of women, who got very drunk and already started yelling and shouting and laughing very loudly even before anything started. During the support acts they made so much noise that we all got annoyed.

The security guy in front of us was actually really nice, he handed out water, snacks and even some love buttons, which is how I got a second green love button. The support acts were Wilhelmine, a German singer, and Maggie Rogers. They were doing a good job! It was a lovely start and during Maggie Rogers the woman in front of me had decided to risk the bathroom journeylike me earlier, so I had a front row spot for a while. Meanwhile Marta, Stella and Andrey somehow got further and further away from me so I couldn't even talk to them anymore. But I decided to stay where I was because nobody would have let me in their spot now anyway. Meanwhile the crowds on the hill were assembling and the stadium got more and more crowded.

Servus! Here we go!

Meanwhile the band was delayed. The girl next to me, Hannah, had already been to several Coldplay concerts this tour. She said that the band would probably come on at 9:00 p.m. and she was right about it. We could see underneath the catwalk through a gap in the fabric. So we hoped to see how the band made their way to the B-Stage at the beginning of the concert. But first there were two people announcing the band and raising awareness for environmental projects that are funded by our tickets. They have been several dance battles on the kinetic dance floors to generate energy, the wristbands are all being recycled and there are stations to refill your water bottle, to name only a few things.

As it is with all concerts, only fragments of it stay in my memory. It's just such an extraordinary experience with crazy levels of adrenaline that it all kind of evaporates once it passes. Too many people, sounds and views - it all just merges into a big blur of everything. I remember Higher Power coming on and how I was suddenly all joyful and jumping and I don't even know why, because I wasn't that excited before. Actually I had felt rather tired and kind of chill, but it all changed once the band came on.

Sure enough Jon was just in front of me and for the first time I could also see Chris really clearly. But the thing with the new stage layout is that you can't really see Will or Guy when they are not right in front of you. I don't know whether it's just higher or they are further back, but I had a better view at the AHFOD-tour when it comes to seeing more of the stage itself. This is not to complain because I still saw so much of Jon and Chris especially, and sometimes even Guy. Only poor Will was hidden all the time, except when he came walking to the B-Stage. Instead I got to see A LOT of confetti. It flew all over us so many times: little squares, stars, hearts. They were like the most beautiful rain and it got everywhere.

Jon was awesome! He looked so happy and youthful and energetic and sometimes sassy. As usually, he was showing off his skills, smiling to people or being very concentrated while playing. This time it was such an overflow of lights and effects and people everywhere that I only managed to catch his attention once in a quiet moment. I think the other times he might have seen me, but he only smiled and nodded at me once. That's okay, I felt so happy because he did. In general I felt as if it was 2017 and I was the small overjoyed Jonnygirl all over again. I don't know, something about seeing Jon just makes me so incredibly happy. But he now has a cute little grey patch of beard in addition to the familiar ginger beard. Still the same silver necklace and a watch on his wrist. Same old Jon, I hope to see him again soon.

I got so so many beautiful photos from this concert! Because Coldplay concerts are very brightly lit everywhere, most of the pictures actually came out sharp and usable, which is something new. I used all of my prisms that I had taken with me and also the "moon goggles" that they gave to us which make little stars or hearts from the lights. Even the sections that I thought I would find silly, like The Lightclub with the alien masks or the duet with Angel Moon, were actually funny and enjoyable. It all kind of works in the moment. Overall, I think the AHFOD tour had a much better setlist. Although the elements are different now, I still feel like the message and the overall spirit stayed the same, which is why I enjoyed the show in its entirety.

But what really, really got me was that they suddenly started playing God Put a Smile Upon Your Face [x]. I didn't even expect this and so I started screaming like no tomorrow and totally lost it. It was definitely one of the highlights of the entire evening. Also People of the Pride was really good. I remember looking at the green lasers during Clocks, which was new for me, because I knew the red lasers and now they returned to their green origins. Somehow the lyrics started to get to me this time and I closed my eyes in that moment. There was no sadness though. A Coldplay gig is not for being sad, it's just for pure joy and jumping, dancing and shouting the lyrics out. It's for enjoying life and forgetting everything that is remotely bad just for these two hours.

I felt a bit like a newbie because I didn't really know what was going on til the point that I didn't recognise Chris is always stopping one song just to dork around. I didn't even know that they had a song called Good Feelings - this is how well informed I was! I was a bit sad that they didn't play anything from Everyday Life, except Sunrise, but then again they left out so many songs.

I feel like they extended the section they had during Us Against the World during AHFOD. Now they had Chris making up songs for random people shown on camera, which was really sweet. At the C-Stage they played Sparks and I really loved that. Chris' voice was awesome and I really like this version. They did play Don't Panic without the rest of the band during the Songbook section. The second big surprise was when suddenly a guy stood on the main stage during Fix You. My confusion didn't last for long because Hannah next to me freaked out completely. It was Shawn Mendes! He did such a great job playing guitar and singing together with Chris.

When they played feelslikefallinginlove they actually wore the sparkling jackets from the music video. I liked how the song sounded live - but I didn't realise it meant the end of the concert. Honestly, it didn't even feel so long! But then again I was already so exhausted from jumping around, especially without having a barrier to hold on to. They just bowed once and were gone in the blink of an eye.

Home, home - but not without a proper goodbye

It took me a while to realise it was over. I stuffed confetti into my bag, said goodbye to the people around me and then Marta came to look for me. We took pictures with all this confetti and Marta even made a confetti angel on the floor. Then we decided to pay Shaheem a visit. Shaheem is a roadie responsible for the Xylobands. They have become much more sophisticated since I've last had one, now they can draw shapes and patterns. Shaheem is a very sweet person. He hugged us and we had a nice chat where we praised him for his work, then Marta suggested him to try some Radler ("If I like it, you'll get a setlist on Sunday!"). He also gave us some beautiful plecs. The guy next to me got a setlist from another roadie and let me take a picture.

We even met some of the people from the queue again. Sarah and her mother had been at B-Stage, they enjoyed the concert although her mother fell due to being pushed at the entrance and injured her knee. The other older woman who had been queueing with us hadn't gotten to the GA1 section because of the bad organisation. We also met some twitter people again at the water refill station. Only Andrey and Stella were somehow missing. It was difficult to find them again because we got out at the opposite entrance and had to make our way over a fence down a hill to get to them.

Stella and her parents took Marta and me to the hostel with their car, which was really a lifesaver. This way I could pick up the tour book and avoid the crowds on public transport. Marta and I hugged and parted ways and I got to the tram and to the hostel alright. On my way back I already looked at some of the photos and got excited because they seemed to be really great!

At the hostel I decorated the entire bathroom with confetti, drank approximately two more litres of water and ate bread in bed while looking through the photos in awe until 2 am. It all felt good and everything was alright. Coldplay magic never fails to work.

How fortunate I am that I could see my heroes again! It's been eight years since my first concert on July 1st 2016 in Hamburg. Back then my life was very different and I went through a hell of a time. Only one thing never changed: When Coldplay is in town, there are breaks in the chaos of time. The beautiful sides of humanity become visible when people come together to celebrate together and enjoy life. I hope to witness this again.

See you soon, Coldplay!

[beneath-her-soul]

Time check: 0837hrs

Location: Train otw to work

I'm feeling a lil bit anxious right now. I don't know if I can make it on time to chase after the company's transport and also I'm still having dry cough and it's been like this for the past 3 days. I would also like to take my mind off by writing so I feel much calmer.

Over the last weekend, I spend my off days with Mr Husband by going to our first Halloween Horror Night at USS! I've never been to this event during my younger days as I never like crowds, horror, tickets are pricey and I was still schooling and it normally ends late at night hence, I need to have enough money so that I can actually pay for the tickets and taxi fare back home. In summary, it just cost expensive for me to pay for everything because I wasn't yet a working adult and I have curfew.

Mr Husband bought the tickets to surprise me as both of us are virgins for this event and since we're already married, why not right? He made sure I blocked off the date and told me not to make any plans. I was so excited and looking forward to it because it's been awhile since he come up with something for us.

After night shift, I slept for the entire 5hrs and woke up at 5pm to wash up and get ourselves prepared. H told me to wear something comfortable with my tokidoki bag and sports shoe as we're gonna be walking alot on that night. While I was doing my make up, I asked him if we're watching a concert lol 😂 Idk I just want to find out more to see if he's able to keep up with the surprise.

I was terrified at first bcs lol like I told you, I am never a fan of anything horror as it stresses the shit out of me and furthermore, it just makes me overthink when I'm alone. Almost every of the haunted house, I decided to walk infront and prefer H to be at the back bcs I hate it if the ghost starts to scare me from my back like I can't see but I can feel your presence behind me. I was laughing most of the time during the haunted house experience bcs of the other people in it as they were screaming and just trying to avoid getting scare hahaha it was hella funny. I was more fascinated by the works they put it on the set up. Every haunted house has a theme for it and it was well decorated it looks real. The cast look real and they didn't broke out of character.

During the journey to the destination, I somehow got a sense that we're going to go to Sentosa judging by the route we took. We parked our bike at vivo and took the monorail to Sentosa. It was crowded since it's Saturday. (And it's been awhile since I went out on weekends). And tadaaaa, we reached USS! It was crowded as heck and we were already perspiring. Bleargh. We brought our portable fan and it was a huge life saver for us. There were 3 terrifying haunted houses and 3 sinister scare zones. And btw, H also had another surprise by purchasing the express tickets. Homaigod how much have he spent in total just for these. Makes me feel guilty that he's spending so much just for this. But then again, it's worth it bcs the queue was insaneeeee for each of the haunted houses. I think I might just give it a pass if H didn't buy the express tickets.

The last haunted house we went to was The Weeknd: After hours til dawn nightmare. All you see was...... The weeknd, his chopped off head, everything of him. I'm just like 😮 I don't listen to his music but I knew who he was. I was really horrified and disgusted. The Botox face, just everything. But it was well executed I must say.

We did get to ride on mummy and transformers at least. The atmosphere was so lively as it's been such a long time since I attended something like this. Something that makes me feel alive. You know? I've been walking in circles over the last few months and going to this event at 29 years old, hits me differently.

We ended off our night at 0030hrs and head our way home. I kept thanking the husband for the surprise and it was memorable experience for first timers. Alhamdulillah, bucketlist ✅

Update: I made it to catch for my bus.

[this-daydream-is-dangerous]

hello hello i am awake (i slept for 11 hours woo) so here's my mostly chronological highlights of the eras tour london night 2!!!

firstly i just wanna say that yelling fuck several times at a taylor swift concert is a life changing experience goddamn

griff was amazing

hey imogen how was paramore's set - i don't know i was standing in the water bottle refill queue for the whole thing

i'm not joking i really was, but everyone in the queue was so nice and I traded so many bracelets there!

the vibe change when applause came on was wild

everyone yelled the last 10 seconds of the countdown

the intro is amazing live

i thought she was gonna wear the gold fringe dress for fearless but she wore the silver noodle dress which is actually my second favourite

everyone sang along when the dancer opened the box during the intro to red

when the girl who was getting the 22 hat appeared onto the screen everyone cheered, she was so cute

it's so hard to tell which speak now dress she's wearing bc of all the smoke lol

rep era is 10/10 as usual i loved it so much

the cheers after champagne problems were insane we just kept going

everyone held their phone lights up during marjorie it looked incredible

the sun also properly started setting during folkmore so the willow performance looked amazing cause you could actually see the balls lit up

purple and pink 1989 set we all screamed it's such a pretty combo

the fire during bad blood is SO hot it's mad

ttpd era is AMAZING i tried not to watch videos so i could be surprised and i was

the staging and effects in ttpd are especially incredible

as she was introducing the first surprise song i turned to my friend and yelled mean?? and then she played thank you aimee,,, but then she played mean and i almost cried i can't believe i got to hear it live 😭

one of my friends is a massive paramore fan and she's been hoping that hayley would sing castles crumbling with taylor ever since we got the tickets and for it to happen on our night was insane

we were just holding hands and hugging the whole song, she did actually cry btw

vigilante shit damn

KARMA IS THE GUY ON THE CHIEFS

other random bits

i got the grey 3/4 zip in a medium and it's wayyy too big oops

i had basically no data connection in the stadium rip

getting the train back home was a nightmare fuck you tfl

i'm safe back at home now and i'll post an update about the concert once i've slept (i'm so tired) 🫡

[eideticmemory]

TWO GHOSTS IV | MATTHEW GUBLER

It’s been 15 years. 15 years has to be long enough . . . right? Read PART 3.

Set 15 years after the end of Ever Since New York, so give that a read first!

Word Count: 3.9k.

Warning: Usual angst, porn, and poor communication amongst characters.

SOUNDTRACK:

Love Affair - UMI

Debt - Eliza McLamb

Sometimes Sunshine - Seasalt

A nonstop flight, from New York City to Los Angeles, is three hours long. On a good day. And May 16 was supposed to be a good day. A great day. The best day of Matthew’s life. He tries not to think about it, not to reminisce too often. About the way he walked through the airport with a little jog, a little pep in his step. And the way he smiled through security, and constantly checked behind him as if you would magically appear. The roses he bought for you in a gift shop near the terminal.

See, a nonstop flight from New York City to Los Angeles is three hours long. On a good day. But Matthew wasn’t looking for three hours. He wasn’t asking you for a few hours of your time, or even a good day. He was asking you for a lifetime.

And that day, he had booked you two a connecting flight that totaled over six hours, with a two hour layover in Colorado. There was a little ice cream shop in the Denver airport, and they served blueberry ice cream. Matthew remembered it was your favorite, and saved just enough money to get your tickets and an entire pint. He couldn’t shake the thought of flying across the country with you, seeing a few small parts of it at a time. A few small parts at a time, until someday, you two had seen the whole world together.

He bought a blanket for you and, while waiting at the terminal, he sat it in the seat beside him, keeping it warm for when you would arrive. He had a little itinerary written in his notes app, and so far everything was going to plan. He had a bouquet of roses in his lap, and he killed time by looking up engagement rings online.

He didn’t start to worry until maybe, an hour, an hour and a half before the plane was set to depart. He called you, just to check in, and it went straight to voicemail. But he was still hopeful. There was very little that could destroy his peace that day. His hope. His happiness.

He tries not to think about it. The way the seconds inched by like a caterpillar moving across the limb of a tree. Slowly, painfully. The way his hope dwindled, and dwindled, and the insane amount of times he heard,

Hey, it’s [y/n]! Leave a message!

He can’t think about it anymore. The way he spents those six hours alone. Bawling his way through flight after flight, and eating a pint of blueberry ice cream by himself. He spent hours on his own. And weeks, months, hell, he spent years thinking that maybe, just maybe, you would find your way back to him.That the universe would magically correct itself.

And you’d come home.

Fifteen.

It took him fifteen years to find you again. It took fifteen years for the universe to bring you back together, and Matthew spent the first five thinking it was all some really shitty nightmare. It took him fifteen years to get close to you, to hear you say his name again, to get inside of you again.

And he managed to fuck it all up in a matter of twenty-four hours.

His body is paralyzed. His mind is moving a mile a minute, and he can’t take his eyes off the ceiling. His chest feels tight, like he can’t breathe properly. He knows he should not feel sorry for himself. That he, alone, is responsible for this wreck. But he can’t seem to shake it. He can’t seem to move.

“What the hell did I do?”

A knock at your door wakes you up. You don’t remember falling asleep, you don’t know how you were able to. But now, it’s all you want to do. You want to stay in the bed, in a state of unconsciousness and dreariness where you can’t remember your mistakes. But someone is knocking. Incessantly, loudly. And they won’t stop.

You roll out of bed, and drag your body across the floor. Zombie like, your shoulders are slouched, your eyes are hooded. Your feet shuffle along the floor like they’re weighted to the hardwood. Your footsteps are slow, hesitant. You don’t know what you’ll do if Matthew is on the other side of that door. You just . . . you don’t know. The very thought of it is making your stomach churn, and you suddenly feel very, very nauseous. The banging continues, and it’s as someone is using all their force. Like they’d break the door down if they could.

“[y/n]!”

You instantly relax at the sound of her voice. You speed up, hurry to the door, “[y/n] [y/l/n]! I know you can hear me! Open up!”

The door swings open and you catch her with her fist in the air, ready to strike the door once again. She’s pissed, doesn’t try to hide it, couldn’t hide it even if she tried.

“Good morning,” you rasp.

“It’s one in the afternoon,” she corrects you, pushing her way into your home.

“Please,” you say, shutting the door behind her. “Come on in.”

“Y’know,” Everest starts, clasping her hands in front of her as a wild look graces her face. “You’ve always been one of the good ones . . . hell, you’ve been . . . great, if that’s the word. You’re better than the others. The ones that really write my checks. But, um, you’re testing me, [y/n].”

You don’t even have to ask.

“Now, if there’s is some magical relationship blooming, or a monumental disaster about to strike, then you need to tell me now, so I can fix it. I’m a fixer, you know, that’s what I do. So, why are you making this so hard for me?”

“If it . . .” you clear your throat, cross your arms as you stare at her feet. “If it makes you feel any better, um, this is hard for me, too.” You attempt to joke. But you just sound sad.

“Yeah?” she raises her eyebrows. “So hard that you come out of his hotel in tears? And what the hell were you doing over there anyway? Was there a plan? Did he call you to come over?”

“I don’t see how any of this matters.”

“It matters because I woke up at seven in the morning — on a saturday — to all sorts of choas and speculation, and picture evidence of you doing exactly what I told you not to do!”

“Yeah, well, I’m a idiot. Don’t worry, that’s been established.”

“The internet is undefeated. Okay? People are . . . great at making up stories, making assumptions. And as your publicist, I need to know the whole story, the real story, before it gets twisted even further.”

You sigh, and walk over to the couch. As you sit down, you pull a pillow into your lap for just a little bit of comfort. “What do you mean the whole story?”

“Wrong choice of words,” Everest says. “The important parts of the whole story. Like are you dating him? Are you fucking him? If so, how long has this been going on?”

You can’t make eye contact as you speak, “I . . . fucked . . . him . . . a few times, a long time ago . . .”

She nods. She motions at you to continue, “. . . And?”

“And . . .” you breathe out. “I fucked him, again. Recently.”

“Last night? At the hotel?”

“Last night . . . not at the hotel.”

“Sooo, when? — Oh, my God,” she lowers her eyebrows at you, purses her lips. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, I did,” you nod. It’s a shameful nod. “You know they say there’s no sex like sex in a dressing room.”

“They also say polka dots are making a comeback, you believe everything you hear?”

“Sorry.”

“So you fuck him in the dressing room, and?”

“And . . . we go our seperate ways . . . again. And, then I realize that’s a lot easier said then done, so I . . . I go for him. I go for him . . .” Everest can hear the way your voice is cracking, the way the weight on your shoulder is slowly pushing the air out of your lungs. “And, uh,” you clear your throat. “Yeah. Yeah, it didn’t work out. Hence the . . . photos of me crying, I guess.”

“Mm,” she nods, crosses her arms. “And the other girl?”

You freeze, cut your head up at her. “What other girl?”

“What do you mean? The girls that came out right behind you. Same sad face? Kinda got a Natalie Portman look to her?”

“I . . .” you shake your head. “I didn’t know she came out after me, I must have left by then.”

“Who is she?”

You give her a shrug, “I don’t know.”

“His girlfriend?”

You huff, “Guess so.”

“Ah, so, some people online actually got it right. Huh, look at that.”

“Look, if the point of all of this is to keep me away from him, you can stop now. I don’t plan on seeing him ever again.”

The doorbell rings, as if on queue, and Everest instantly gives you a look. “What?” you ask. “I don’t know who it is. Your guess is as good as mine.”

She scoffs at you, and turns around, marching towards the door with a certain determination. She pulls it open, and immediately puts her hand on her hip. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Oh,” Matthew gasps. “Uh, oh . . . fuck . . . sorry, I must — I must have the wrong house.”

“You sure do, Romeo.”

You stand from the couch, your face laced with shock and anger and confusion, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Don’t engage, [y/n], what the hell?” Everest interjects.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. “How the hell did you find my house?” you direct at Matthew.

“Oh, what?” he scoffs. “Like you’re the only one around here who can play stalker?”

“Go home, Matthew.”

“Five minutes. I’m asking you for five minutes. You can time me if you want.”

“Go back to California, Matthew.”

“Look, I know I fucked up. I know, but —“

“Do you?” you snap. You take slow, calculated steps towards the front door, and your voice is lowering to a rumble. “Do you know that you fucked up? Because, if you did, if you truly knew just how badly you fucked up, then you would leave. You would get on a fucking plane and leave, and you would never come back!”

The way Matthew is looking at you right now.Like he can’t fathom what’s happening. Like he is trying his very best not to feel defeated. “Can I . . . can I just —“

“No.” Everest says. “You heard her. Fuck off, string bean.”

You walk away, retiring to your kitchen. You try to keep yourself busy, but you’re trembling like mad and you can barely breathe.

Matthew leaves. You know because you hear the door close. Everest comes into the kitchen, and you feel stuck. Frozen to the spot and position you’re in. Your back is to her, and you can’t begin to imagine or guess what look is on her face right now.

She’s quiet for a moment, eyeing you with her arms crossed at her chest. She leans against the entryway and sighs, “Tell me more.”

Ramona walks up your driveway, and it isn’t until she looks up from her phone that she sees Matthew. She notices him, and he notices her, and Ramona tries to act like it didn’t happen, But when Matthew opens his mouth to speak, she blows past him, “I’m not supposed to talk to you.”

“I know,” he says instantly. He is well aware, but it doesn’t stop him from running in front of her, blocking her from your front door. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, but . . . please, can you give this [y/n]?”

Matthew holds out an envelope. It’s bright red, your name is printed on the front of it in his handwriting.

Ramona glances at it, but she quickly glances back up, “Do I look like a mailman to you?”

“She won’t take it from me. She won’t talk to me. She might take it from you.”

“Yeah, or she might fire me for even taking it from you in the first place.”

“[y/n] wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s usually pretty amazing, except for when you’re around, or when you’re brought up, or when you’re fucking with her head. You make her a different person, dude. I want no part of it.”

He nods, looks down, “Fair enough . . . I’ll put it in her mailbox.”

“Yeah, why don’t you do that?” She shrugs, and she continues on by him.

“Damn . . .” Everest says. “You ghosted the guy at the airport?”

“Basically,” you shrug.

“Well, fuck,” she scoffs. “That is some serious great gatsby shit.”

“Yeah, we’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.”

The doorbell rings, and you both turn your heads sharply towards the entrance. “You don’t think he would come back, do you?” Everest asks as she walks to the door.

“Well, he never listens much to anything I say, but he’s probably a little scared of you.”

She laughs, and when she opens the door, she tells you it’s only Ramona, who walks in quickly, looking for you. She gives you a soft smile, and joins you in the kitchen as Everest follows close behind.

“So,” Ramona pips. “What’s the game plan?”

“You and [y/n] come to my office in the city and we’ll figure it out. Hey, did you pass him on your way out?” Everest asks her.

“Uh, who?”

“Matthew,” you tell her. “He was just here, you didn’t see him?”

“He was here?” Ramona questions, putting on a look of bewilderment. “When?”

“Just now. He left right before you got here.” Everest explains.

“Holy shit,” Ramona says. “What’d he want?”

“[y/n].”

“So,” you interrupt. “Your office? Now? We can go ahead and get going.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Everest stops you in your tracks, throwing her hands up. “Not so fast, you . . . you need to shower first.”

You look down at your outfit. You’re still dressed in Claire’s clothes and they’re completely disheveled. You haven’t showered or brushed your teeth since the last time you had sex, and the very thought makes you feel dirty. You look exactly how you feel. You sigh, “Fair enough.”

“We’ll wait in the car,” Everest nods, and motions to Ramona to follow her.

“What are we gonna do with her?” she says to Ramona as soon as they’re out of the house and walking down the driveway.

“I don’t know, she’s my boss . . . I can only help so much.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve known [y/n] for a long time now, and she’s never needed saving. But, something tells me we’re going to have to keep her away from this one.”

“From Matthew?” Ramona stops in her tracks.

“Well,” Everest stops, turns around to look at her. “She’s a grown woman. She’ll do what she wants. But, that zombie in there,” she motions to the house. “Who walks around the city in her pajamas for a man, is not [y/n]. Atleast, not the world’s [y/n]. People love her. She’s one of the few celebrities that’s kind and passionate and isn’t problematic. I’m just being proactive here.”

“Proactive?”

“She says she’s done with him. She told him she’s done with him. Now, we will just keep her on that path. Few months later, she and the rest of the world forget this ever happened and everything is back to normal.”

“You sound very sure of all of this.”

“Yeah, well, I like my schedules and I happen to like [y/n] so I better be sure. Come on, our ride’s further down the driveway,” Everest continues walking. While Ramona is stuck in place.

“Hey! Uh,” Ramona stutters, suddenly, loudly, causing Everest to turn around once again. “I think I left my water bottle in the house. I’ll meet you in the car?”

“Okay,” Everest eyes her. “It’s just around the corner. And tell [y/n] to hurry up.”

“I will!”

Ramona waits for Everest to continue down the driveway, and when she’s just far enough, Ramona turns around and acts as if she’s walking back up to your front door. When she’s positive Everest has made it to the car, she runs over to your mailbox. She opens it slowly, so it doesn’t creak as loud. The bright red envelope is the only thing in there, and she takes it out quickly. She looks at it for a moment, asks herself what the hell she’s doing. But she doesn’t have time to think right now, you could walk out at any moment. She closes your mailbox, shoves the envelope in her bag, and walks down the driveway.

Matthew Gubler, himself, is a disruption in the space-time continuum.

When you start tallying up the days, it just doesn’t make sense. Some days, every second feels like it’s crawling by. You’ll be in class, at the head of the class, and you’re surprised when your lesson plan ends atleast ten minutes early. And some days, time moves too fast. You find yourself running late for things, events, important people or things, which isn’t like you.

You call it Matthew Brain, and you keep that term to yourself. It happened fifteen years ago. And it’s happening now. It’s a slow, steady descent back to earth, back to reality. Time isn’t real with him, and you think that’s the reason you can’t remember much of your senior year. It’s a rush, a high to even be near him, and it’s the ultimate collapse when he’s gone. Really gone. Out of the life, for the second time.

Time has reset.

And what feels like one month with Matthew Gubler, only turns out to be four days.

You’re on a journey back to earth, and you haven’t even reached the bottom yet. It’s coming, but not now, you thought. You have time to prepare. And this time you’ll be ready. Ready to hit rock bottom, and spend another fifteen years digging yourself out. You have time, you’re sure of it.

Then Ramona comes into your office. She notices you crying, and you have to twirl around in your chair while you wipe the tears away. “Shit, Ro,” you try to laugh. “What’s up?”

“Uh, your afternoon class?” she reminds you. “With the girls at the community center? . . . What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

A lot. Not anything that you can really talk to Ramona about. And each day is something different. Like today, you’re feeling like a fucking idiot. You feel unbelievably stupid and lost and question why anyone in their right mind would choose to learn anything from you. You feel defeated, and you can’t get the look on that girl’s face out of your head.

You turn to Ramona with a soft smile, “I’m fine. I forgot about the class, thank you for reminding me. I just have to grab a few things before I go.”

“Well,” she sets her bag down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of your desk. She takes a seat in the other, “You’ve got some time, I haven’t even called the ride yet.”

You eye her, suspicious furrowing your eyebrows, “Oh, don’t do that.”

“Do what?” she seems genuinely confused.

“Sit there and feel sorry for me. I don’t need pity. I’m alright.”

“I’ve never seen you cry before . . . I’m just worried.”

“And I appreciate that, kid, I really do. But you don’t have to be, alright?”

“. . . okay.” she shrugs.

“Anyways,” you change the subject. “How much time do I have until I’ve gotta be out of here?”

“Um, I can call you a ride now, it should be here in about, ten minutes?” Ramona pulls her phone from her pocket, and holds it up as she dials the number.

“Sounds good,” you nod.

She leaves the room to make the call, and when she closes the door, you release a big sigh. As if you’d been holding it in the whole time she was here. You get up from your chair, and walk around the desk. Not paying attention, you stub your toe into the adjacent chair, so hard that the chair falls to the ground.

“Ow! Son of a b—“ your yelp is cut off by a painful groan, and your reach down to hold your foot. You look out in front of you, and Ramona’s entire bag has spilled out across the floor. “Fuck,” you mumble and instantly begin to clean it up.

It’s bright red. And it sticks out like a sore thumb. You reach over to grab it, but only because you recognized his hand writing. You run your fingers over your name, and your head is starting to hurt from the amount of pure confusion.

The door swings open, “Okay, they’ll be here in fifteen, but you have some wiggle room —“ Ramona stops when she sees the item in your hand.

You stand up straight, look her in the eye. She’s shaking. She’s trembling, and there are already tears in her eyes.

“I . . . can explain,” she says.

“Then explain.”

“Matthew . . . wanted me to — to give that to you.”

“When?”

“When, um, when he was at your house on Saturday.”

“You said you didn’t see him. You acted like you didn’t even know he had been there. You took this from him?” your voice goes up at slight octave. Not by much, but it stills cuts Ramona like a knife.

“No! No, I didn’t take it from him. I told him to put it in the mailbox. Which he did, but then I . . .”

“You? You what? Went into my mailbox and took it? Are you kidding?”

“It was crazy! I know! It was absolutely insane of me! But—But Everest was saying all these things about protecting your image, and being proactive, I just wanted to help. I thought —“

“Everest? Everest knew about this?”

“No. No. I took it when she wasn’t looking, and I just, I thought maybe if you didn’t know about the letter, you would be able to move on, y’know? Heal.”

“That was not your decision to make.”

“I know. [y/n], I’m so sorry. I can’t — I can’t even begin —“

“You’re right,” you interrupt her. “You can’t.”

You look down at the envelope in your hands, and shake your head. “God, Ro, I can barely look at you right now.”

“I’m sorry . . .”

You nod.

“I’ll . . . go wait for the car,” she nods, sadly and apologetically exiting the room.

You close the door behind her, and press your back against it. You slide to the floor, and bring the evelope close to your face. The day is not over, and you may need all night to take this in. You are not mentally prepared for whatever is in your hands, but, you rip it open anyway.

There’s a thin piece of paper inside. You pick it up, and it feels so frail that you worry it might rip. You set it on top of the envelope, and examine it. Your eyes dot over the page, until you realize, it’s not a letter at all.

American Airlines

[y/n] [y/l/n]

Seat: 14A

May Sixteenth, 2002

It’s a plane ticket. From fifteen years ago.

One you’ve never seen.

One you’ve never touched.

And now that it’s in your hands, you wish you never knew it existed.

[anotherimaginethatblog]

Family Gatherings

Meet the parents.

Pairing: Kenny x reader

Warnings: small mention of something cheeky ... maybe more in part 2

Summary: you finally make the trip to meet Kenny’s family.

so i finally found the time to sit and write a little and this ended up being a lil longer than expected bit ive enjoyed writing this one, probably be a part two (possibly 3) so let me know what you think x 

hope you like it 

You were nervous, you had been since the day Kenny booked your airline ticket to Winnipeg so you could finally meet his family. You had heard all the stories about them, and they sounded lovely, but you were still, naturally nervous. Constant thoughts had flown through your head since the day you packed, what if they didn’t like you? Didn’t approve of you? you took another sip of your drink hoping the soothing flavour would relax you.

An hour later the pilot informed the plane full of weary passengers that the flight would be making its late arrival at the airport shortly, you began to gather your things up and pack them back into your designer backpack Kenny had bought you as a gift but couldn’t help thinking you’d made a mistake by bringing it, what if they thought you were showing off? Too gaudy? “breathe” you told yourself “it’ll be fine, they’ll love you” you said trying to boost your self-confidence.

“sorry mam, but would you mind stowing your bag? Were going to land soon that’s all” asked the kind stewardess who had given you that extra miniature off the drinks trolly earlier, probably due to the anxiety she saw on your face after striking up a conversation about why you’d be visiting Winnipeg in November.

“sure, sorry” you smiled back.

 Finally, After the stress of the queue at passport control, your bag coming off the plane last and trying to find your way out of the baggage hall altogether you were here. You grabbed your phone out of your bag to see a text from Kenny already, “waiting in the arrivals hall, ring me when your out” it read. You dialled his number and he picked up immediately, so quick he must have been waiting for you thought. “finally, you here yet?” he laughed.

“yeah, just got through, been a nightmare” you replied, “where you at?” you asked him.

“just at the coffee shop with my dad, well wait here for you. You’ll see it if you walk to the end”.

“okay babes see you in a sec” you replied before hanging up, instantly feeling nervous. His dad. You were going to meet his dad for the first time in an airport after hours of travel. Fantastic.

You saw Kenny straight away, those two-tone curls where recognisable anywhere. He looked relaxed and rested whilst he sat chatting to his dad unbeknown to you about how nervous he was for you to see his home and family. “what if she thinks I’m a huge loser once she’s seen I’m just a weird kid from Canada?” he asked his dad. His anxiety spiking in anticipation.

“she won’t, she sounds a great girl and clearly likes you so stop worrying.” His dad replied smiling at his son.

So deep in conversation they hadn’t seen you approach, “hey ken” you said, smiling from ear to ear at finally being reunited.

“babe, you look amazing, I missed you so much” said Kenny, words spilling out with a huge smile in his face as he looked you up and down, clearly appreciating the effort you had made. “this is my dad, (y/n)” he said stepping to the side to introduce the older gentleman who looked very much like his son.

“hi, I’m (y/n), I’m so happy to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you Kenny always talks about you” you replied any nerves melting away at how normal and nice he seemed, internally laughing at why you were so nervous in the first place.

“nice to meet you too, we’ve heard everything about you I’m so glad you managed to make it out. Big freeze on the way” he said. “let’s get home, before it’s too dark and your mother kills us for being late.” He laughed.

Kenny grabbed your bags and you both followed to the car as soon as you left the terminal you regretted your choice of coat. The leather jacket though warm was not enough to keep your heat against the cold Canadian weather “I told you to get a good coat (y/n)” said Kenny shaking his head at you.

“okay, I just thought you where exaggerating” you replied shivering.

“your so cute, its not far to walk” he said.

After realising Kenny’s definition of short walk was not the same as yours you reached the car and were incredibly grateful when his dad opened it for you so you could jump straight in. “thankyou” you told him while he cranked the heat up for you.

“no problem, its not a far drive either so well have you home and warm in a little while” he told you smiling at your lack of appreciation for the Canada winters.

 After a 40-minute drive you were at Kenny’s childhood home, it was just what you had imagined after hearing all of the stories from him about living in the suburbs as a kid. It was your classic suburban home with a lawn out front and a porch to sit on. It was actually really cute, you where excited to see inside. Kenny’s dad got out and left you two to make your way in, all of a sudden you where back to the nervous girl on the plane with the millions of questions about whether you where enough flooding your brain. All of a sudden Kenny planted his lips on yours and you snapped out of whatever you where thinking of immediately “they’re gonna love you, because I love you” he said. It was like he could read your mind and you kissed him back, you’d missed him so much in the time you’d been apart and if it wasn’t for being in his dads car outside his parents house you’d have climbed over and had him right there in the car. The moment was perfect for it … but the location was severely lacking. “we better get in the house before my mom sends my dad back out to get us” he smirked pulling away, clearly thinking the same thoughts you had been a few minutes prior.

“okay” you smiled back “lets go”.

 Once inside the house you felt relaxed all of a sudden, it felt like a home and all the stress you had had about the visit faded away. You took your coat and shoes off and followed Kenny into the kitchen where a beautiful blonde lady stood at the counter. “Tyson, and this must be (y/n). your so pretty” she said patting her son on the shoulder in an approving manor.

“thanks mom, I’m glas you two finally get to spend some time together. It’ll be nice to have the family all under one roof again.” He replied, with his mum giving you the once over.

“I’m so glad you’ve finally brought us a girl home, I thought you’d never setlle down to be honest” she said teasing her only son.

“mom” he said laughing back “I’m gonna take our stuff up, my room yeah?” he asked

“mhmm, and (y/n) across the hall” she said trying to gauge her sons reaction.

“your joking, I’m a grown man mom” said Kenny laughing trying to cover for the fact he’d been wanting to get you into bed since he’d seen you in the airport in those skin tight pants he loved so much.

“Its fine” you interjected not wanting to upset Kenny’s mum and to stop a fight over a room before you’d even settled in. “its fine, I totally respect that. We respect that don’t we ken” you said looking at him with pleading eyes to drop it.

“fine, its fine” he said turning to walk upstairs leaving His mum feeling guilty, though she would never admit it. Honestly she had no problem with the two of you sharing a room but who wants to hear the inevitable through thin walls on the first weekend of meeting your sons possible future wife.

“thankyou” she mouthed quietly to you smiling at how gracious and kind you had been at trying to avoid an awkward situation on your first meeting. You smiled back and followed Kenny upstairs to your room for the next few days. It was a gorgeous guest room, you dropped your bags off and crossed the hall to see Kenny in his childhood room. It was painted blue and like you expected there where wrestling and hockey pictures and posters all over the walls. “cute,” you said smiling at him

“its changed a little but not much” he said smiling back “my mom painted but put all my pictures back up” he laughed.

“that’s sweet, she probably wanted it to be the same for when you got back” you said.

“not that I ever got the chance much” Kenny sadly replied.

“she understood why though” you mentioned reassuringly with your arm on his back.

“you know, I never thought id get a hot girl in my room” he said laughing

“you still wont” you said getting up to go downstairs “come on lets go hang out” you laughed Kenny following reluctantly.

 you spent the rest of the evening chilling out in the kitchen, drinking wine with his mum while him and his dad watched sports on tv. “I’m glad I got to meet you” his mum said to you smiling

“me too, I’m so glad to finally meet everyone and happy for Kenny to spend some family time at home, he’s always on the road I’ve told him he needs to make more of an effort” his mum appreciating your words.

“yeah but he’s busy doing what he loves, I would never tear him away from that” she said laughing at him and his dad.

A few hours later it was time to head to bed, his mum and dad had called it a night a few hours earlier but you and Kenny had stayed up to chill and watch a little tv together. “I’m heading up babe” you said pecking him on the cheek

“okay babe me too then” he said getting up to turn everything off  before following you upstairs

You waited for him at the top of the stairs, pulling him into a hug “guess ill see you in the morning” you teased

“unless you wanna sneak over in a little bit” he teased

“Kenny … no, I don’t want to disrespect your mom” you said back shrugging.

“okay okay, can I at least get a hand job in the bathroom” he laughed  

“goodnight Kenny” you said turning to walk away.

After completing your evening routine you settled down for the night, it was hard to drift off knowing your man was just over the hall, who you had been dying to touch since before the last time you had said goodbye all those weeks ago. Eventually your eyes began to feel heavy and just as you where settling in for the night your phone began to buzz, straight away you knew who it was. – im lonely- it read, you rolled your eyes, it was gonna be along night.

[pennswoodsman]

I’m at the Acme on Passyunk ave with my dad. I’m really struggling to keep my head up lately. I made the mistake of deciding to let my prescription for Zoloft run dry to see if I still need it. Clearly I do. This last week on several occasions I got triggered with something then fall into a crippling depression for the next few hours, sometimes until the next day.

I got a raise at work for the first time in 4 years. At first I was thrilled. Then I find out it’s because their minimum wage has increased and they had no choice but to raise it. So....I haven’t bothered to tell anyone. It doesn’t feel like a victory. In fact it depressed me knowing that I’m now just making the banks minimum wage, I went from being a supervisor to an aimless loser making shit wages...again.

A few days later I’m at the Amity park for an ice cream social with the boys. This is the first time I’ve been to this park in about 5 years. A sudden rush of memories of being happy with Dawn and socializing with other parents and their kids overcomes me. I find myself again re-living all of Dawn’s lies and the hurtful things she said and did in 2017 and 2018. I realized I was about to have a panic attack right there and then...while I was waiting in line for ice cream with the boys. I was trying so hard to be pleasant and strong for Kevin and Nate, but I felt that god awful nothingness in my chest and that feeling of about to tear up. Plus my teeth were sore from clenching my jaw so much. I drove home feeling exhausted. I felt a little better hanging out with the boys and watching a movie together.

Now it’s Thursday and I have a long shift. I am so depressed I can barely speak above a whisper. Everyone is annoying me. At one point a team member puts me on mute to talk to a customer and I start looking at naked chicks on Reddit. Without thinking about it I mutter to myself “man, that’s an edible vagina” to suddenly realize I said that while on mute, not on hold. I panic and hang up. It’s a recorded line and now I am wondering if it’s only a matter of time before they hear it and fire my ass.

That night, I had a series of nightmares. One was right when I first fell asleep. I was driving the Rogue by myself late at night. It was somewhere in Berks county. I felt really out of it, like I was drugged up on prescription meds or something. I accidentally drove up on the sidewalk and just stopped myself from crashing into a tree. I continued to drive even though I knew I was severely impaired. I was reversing to get back on the road and I ended up driving off the road again, this time going into the woods. My seatbelt was wrapped around my right arm, pinning it against my chest. I was trying to free it with my left hand but it kept slipping out of my fingers. I finally got it out but, right on queue, the car slide down a refine and off a cliff. I calmly watched the car plummeting toward the ground through the windshield. I said “goodbye world” and I knew that was it. I woke up with a jolt as the car was literally about to smash from 200 feet.

A couple of days later I was on Reddit again and a man who was in his 40s was asking a question in “dating over 40”. The man said he doesn’t have a good job, his mother pays his mortgage and grocery bills and is this a deal breaker for the ladies. Not that I was shocked by this, but I don’t recall a single woman saying anything but negative things. Saying why would anyone want a loser? Why would anyone want a man who can’t take care of himself? Etc. I sent him an encouraging message to not listen to them, shit happens and if you have a parent who can afford to help you it shouldn’t be the end of the world. I then suggested to not mention his mother pays his mortgage and other bills until a few months in so that way, she could get the know the “real you” and not pre judge you. Some random woman sent me a reply stating that not telling his dates right away is being manipulative. I honestly don’t agree. Since when do you discuss how you pay your mortgage and bills in the first few months of a relationship? I know I never have and would never ask. I said that and all she said was “look up manipulative in the dictionary”. It made me remember how Dawn claimed I was manipulative without even the seeing the slightest bit of irony in that accusation and it got me spiraling towards another panic attack.

Which brings me to today. I worked my Saturday shift, gathered as many family photos to bring to my dad’s house as my trunk would carry and headed out. I put on the “AskReddit” things to hear about entitled celebrities from the stage hands. Once that story is done it automatically went to “ladies what are examples of a man child?” By the first 5 minutes I was so depressed I could barely lift my head up. I am a fucking man child. My house is filthy, I have a shit job and my father pays my way through life. I have a brand new car which is normally a thing to be proud of but I find myself feeling shame that it wasn’t me who paid for it. I feel massive shame for almost being 46 and still dependent on my father. I feel massive shame for being 46 and still having no real career to speak of. For having this generous GF who deserves such a great man but sometimes I feel like she deserves better than I.

The thing is, it hasn’t even really been a bad week per se. Kristan got us SECOND ROW TICKETS FOR DEAD AND COMPANY!! She loves Jimmy Buffett, which is great because making the leap from Buffett to the Dead really isn’t that big of a change. Plus she has heard Scarlet Begonias live a ton of times and didn’t even realize it was originally a Dead song. Her birthday was last week and I wanted to send her some Scarlet Begonias from a florist. I checked all the websites of the local florists and none of them had any. So, I ordered some faux ones from Target. I also got her Jimmy Buffett tickets this coming August. Mine are only lawn seats though. So, not quite as awesome. I did agree to wear a grass skirt and coconut tits at the show. Hey, when in Rome, right?

Sigh....

[nobleclover]

Silver Screen Sneak - In!

“What do you mean that I can’t see the new movie, Mom?!” CJ whined, his lips pursed into a sour pout.

             You’re probably wondering as to what movie he is so eager to see yet was forbidden to by his mother, Angel. Well, that movie just so happens to be Psycho, directed by Alfred Hitchcock and released on September 8th 1960 for all the public to witness while simultaneously terrorising themselves. Definitely not a film suitable for a ten year old cup like him.

             “Because you’re too young, you’ll get nightmares and school’s only just started! Now run along and finish your homework!” she ordered him before turning back to the row of oysters she gathered that day to make oyster sauce. As she began cracking them open, she heard her precocious little boy stomp up to the bedroom that he shared with his other three siblings and sighed. She didn’t like having to end a conversation like that, but, as his mother, she had to be firm with him, especially since he wanted to go see a HORROR movie of all things.

             In his room, CJ lied on his back across his bed glaring at the ceiling. He really wanted to see the movie after hearing about it from Sorrel, Cagney and Hilda’s teenaged son while he was learning some gardening. Sure, he knew that he was young, but he would hear of his other friends in school discuss scary TV shows that they were allowed to watch, like The Twilight Zone. He was a bit jealous of not being allowed to watch them like his peers, especially his own cousin Saffron, who was surprisingly into horror despite her demeanour. Even more infuriating, when he asked them for more details, they wouldn’t tell him as they “didn’t want to spoil anything.”

             Turning over, he crossed his arms and muttered, “I’m not that young! I’m practically a big kid! My age has TWO digits now, so that must mean I’m allowed to do more stuff!”

             Just then, a small voice from the doorway asked, “What are you sulking about?”

             Looking up, he saw that it was his older sister, Coral, who had just returned from a day swimming and fishing. He slumped back down on the bed muttering, “Nothing.”

             “Nothin’? Doesn’t look like nothin’! You kinda look like Mr. Flatfoot that swims under that arch near the observatory,” she noted.

             Sighing irritably, he sat up with a dead, sad look in his eyes and explained, “I wanna go see the new horror movie sometime soon, but Mom won’t let me!”

             “Ugh, yeah! You know what she’s like! A total killjoy!” she groaned, before climbing onto the bed.

             “You’re getting my covers wet, Fish Face!” CJ complained.

             “Simmer down, Gill Boy!” she retorted before explaining, “now look, I know that I can be a jerk sometimes, but geez, that look on your mug is just pitiable, and…I want to help you.”

             “Huh, that’s a first, considering that you’re a real narcissist,” he replied dryly.

             “Shut up and listen to me! Now look, you wanna see that movie, right? The one that you keep yappin’ on about? Well, most movies only last around three weeks in the picture house, but really SPECIAL movies like YOUR movie last for about FOUR weeks so that the public can get the chance to see it, at least that’s what I heard from Sugarelle!”

             “Really?!” CJ asked with his eyes sparkling with hope, “so I might get to go see it then! But I also heard that most of the time children should be accompanied by adults when seeing horror movies, so how can I get in?”

             Coral was now stuck for words as she couldn’t think of a good solution for him, and could only utter, “I don’t know…”

 One week later:

After much planning and crafting, CJ finally came up with a brilliant scheme: enter the theatre as a ‘short’ adult! He’d selected what he thought was the perfect disguise, some light brown pants, a grey tweed jacket with a hat, and, the most distinguishing feature that would convince people that he was an adult: a moustache.

             When Saffron and his eldest sister Juni heard of this grand plan, they each uttered the same response, “That’s the best you could come up with?”

             “Well…yeah! It’s not like they’re gonna ask me for ID anyways! They never do, that’s what I heard!”, he awkwardly exclaimed, half hoping that he was right.

             “How do you know they don’t?” Saffron asked, shooting him a skeptical look.

             “Be – because Coral told me! Yeah, she – she did!”

             “Yeah, well knowing her, she thinks she knows everything,” Juni responded, “why can’t you just wait until you’re older to watch a horror movie? I’m also pretty sure that they do reruns a few years after the actual release of some movies!”

             “Well, I wanna see it now and show everyone how well I can handle a few jolts and scares in a dark theatre, and I’ll also be seen as cool for once!” he declared, with a smug grin.

             “It’s okay to admit that you’re a ‘fraidy cat, CJ. I can handle some horror but not ALL of it. Besides, you could –” Saffron added before being cut off.

             “Well, I’m pretty sure that I’m more than a little old enough to watch a movie like Psycho, Saffy! Plus, come Monday morning, I’m gonna be pretty much the talk of the school, but I won’t say much as I don’t wanna spoil it for ya!” he replied arrogantly.

             “Not that you’d have anything to say because you’ll likely be covering your eyes during the scary parts of the movie!” Juni retorted.

             “Oh, SHUT UP!” he yelled, “I don’t need to prove to the likes of you that I can be brave, Juni! Anyways, I’m off to the theatre now and I’ll see you two later!”

             With that, he confidently strode off with the bag containing his disguise in his right hand. Saffron and Juni watched him go, with Juni stating disdainfully, “He’s gonna be screaming for Mom like he always does when he has a night terror.”

             “Well, hopefully that nobody recognises him,” Saffron added.

 Later:

CJ just about made it to the theatre. A huge queue trailed in front of the ticket booth as far as the eye could see, much to his dismay. He hadn’t taken the number of people into consideration, so he’d have to try a different way to get in. As he pondered good and hard on how to enter the theatre easily, he suddenly had an idea.

             As the lanky young man let the next couple in to see a movie, CJ ran up to the booth with a panicked look in his eyes and tapped on the glass. The ticket man looked down upon him and asked in a dreary monotone voice, “How can I help you?”

             “I’m so sorry sir! I really REALLY need to use the bathroom and I need to use it NOW! Can I use the one in the theatre?” CJ asked in a rapid manner.

             “Well…normally, I’d say you’d need a ticket to get in…buuuut…I think that’s cruel especially given the circumstances. Go ahead in,” he drawled.

             With that, CJ rushed into the bathroom and stood on the lavatory seat to put on his disguise when he stopped. He suddenly realised that he forgot the most important thing ever in his grand plan: what theatre was the movie showing in?!

             Just then, he noticed a discarded ticket on the floor of the stall and picked it up. Sure enough, it was for the movie Psycho and it was showing in Theatre 7! How convenient! He beamed. As if it was also a coincidence, the number of the theatre definitely showed his luck! As soon as the gentlemen had exited the bathroom, he quietly slipped out and made his way to Theatre 7. He coyly walked in past the usher and twiddled his fake moustache as he went along.

             Soon enough, he found a nice seat at the top of the theatre’s steps, that had a grand view of the screen. He grinned as he thought of how great his grand plan was going so far. He managed to find a way into the theatre without getting paying for a ticket, he got one for free (off a dirty bathroom floor, but still) and he’s now sitting in a swell seat, ready to watch his first proper horror movie!

             The crowd of people pouring in grew larger as each individual spread out to find available seats in the barely lit theatre. A taller gentleman soon approached the row CJ was sitting in, with a large collection of snacks he’d gathered up from the lobby obscuring his face. He was carrying large sodas, a bag of pretzels, some candy and a large bucket of popcorn. CJ licked his lips under the fake moustache as he saw how delicious the food was. He did have money, but he was sure that if he left the theatre just before the film began, they wouldn’t let him in. Apparently, any cinema that was showing Psycho would not allow anyone else in past the time the movie started. CJ irritably sighed and bitterly thought to himself, Guess I’ll starve then!

             The tall man then set the goodies in the seat beside CJ, further obscuring his face from him. As CJ wondered why a man like him would want this much food for himself, the man suddenly poked his head around the bucket of popcorn to reveal that it was none other than HIS OWN FATHER CUPHEAD!

             Cuphead looked at his disguised son with a smile and said, “I heard this is gonna be a killer thriller! Know what I mean?” followed by a gleeful wink.

             CJ was stunned with fright and could only muster up a little nod of his head so as not to appear rude. He sat back in his seat, his mind flooded with panic. He could only think, Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!! I’M DEAD MEAT IF HE RECOGNISES ME!! I’LL BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE IF HE --!!!

             Just then, the opening credits flashed on the screen, accompanied by rapid, tense strings with the words having to criss – cross each other to form coherent credits. Everybody braced themselves for what was going to unfold, while CJ was on high alert in case his father was to intercept his disguise.

             As the movie progressed, CJ, much to his dismay, found himself to be extremely bored by this movie. It was nothing but grown – up talk with very little action. Sure, the lady in the film stole a lot of money and took it with her so that she and her boyfriend can live happily ever after, but good lord, was it just coma – inducing. Meanwhile, Cuphead had his eyes glued to the screen, shoving popcorn, pretzels and candy into his mouth and chomping his goodies very loudly.

             The food was so unbearably good that CJ soon heard his stomach growling. Cuphead noticed and whispered, “Hey, old timer! I couldn’t help but notice that you don’t have any concession goods! Wanna share with me?”

             Despite his better judgement, CJ nodded and reached his arm out and received a handful of pretzels. Great, he thought, he’s gonna have to try and make it through the movie without dying of thirst and boredom now.  

             As he munched sparingly on the pretzels, the scene shifted to when the lady and gawky motel owner were having supper in the parlour. It was then that CJ finally began feeling that sense of unease that he’d been waiting for, especially as dark shadows cast over the walls and the owner himself. Finally, some decent tension, he thought.

             Alas, Cuphead had fallen asleep beside him and was snoring like a hippopotamus with asthma. CJ looked at him and softly groaned. His father was always like this after a big meal or a good number of snacks and needless to say, the noise was as ear grating like someone rubbing sandpaper against glass. The young cup tried listening to the dialogue as hard as he could but his father’s snores drowned out whatever noise was coming from the movie.

             Someone else got fed up with Cuphead’s snoring and got the usher up to the row where both cups sat and gently nudged him, jolting him awake. Looking around and stammering, Cuphead looked up at the usher startled and loudly asked, “Did someone die yet?!”

             “No, sir, but someone complained that you’re snoring too loud so that’s why I woke you,” the usher explained.

             Cuphead understood what he said and quietly assured with a smile, “Oh, okay! I’ll keep quiet don’t worry! Thanks for telling me!”

             CJ could feel a laugh welling up but suppressed it. It was truly amusing to see his own father act like a real goofball. Just then, Cuphead turned towards him and whispered, “Hey, old timer! You can have the rest of my snacks okay? Just so that I won’t slip into a food coma again! Sound good?”

             CJ nodded and gladly accepted the food between him and his father. He was pretty satisfied that he got free food and for the first time since his father sat down, he felt like he could relax and enjoy the film properly now.

             The film kept going and reached the infamous shower scene. Everybody, not just little CJ and his father, felt chills going down their spine once they noticed the door behind the shower curtain open followed by a blurry figure approaching closer. Soon enough, the entire theatre erupted into screams once the curtain was pulled back to reveal a seemingly old woman who’s face was obscured in shadows. Then, accompanied by shrill violin strings, everybody jumped and hollered in fright as the poor young woman met her demise. CJ’s eyes were fixed onto the screen in complete horror, while his dad gave out the occasional horrified yelp and gasp. The terrified boy suppressed the urge to scream as he was afraid of being discovered given his young sounding voice.

             Cuphead caught his breath and looked towards CJ and whispered, “JEEZ LOUISE! I wasn’t expecting that! Still, you’re definitely pretty brave sitting through a picture like this!”

             CJ nodded and gave a little thumbs up, still trembling quietly.

             The rest of the movie continued as the characters worked on solving the mystery as to what happened to the young lady with the money. Even with the scenes with a lot of talking, poor CJ was still shaken following the shower scene, and it certainly didn’t help when the private investigator turned up dead or when they found the skeleton in the basement. At long last, once the whole movie was brought to a close, everybody got up and walked home.

             CJ waited for Cuphead to move who was stacking all the disused food buckets, boxes and cups to dispose of them outside. Finally, the older cup got up and made his way down the steps. CJ trailed along after him, only to trip on a step and soon tumbled into Cuphead’s leg, knocking him down like a bowling pin.

             Cuphead looked at the mess around them and uttered, “Aww heck!” before going to clean it up. CJ stood up and realised to his horror that his moustache had fallen off. While Cuphead was picking up an empty soda cup, CJ scanned the steps quickly for his moustache, which thankfully had fallen down two steps ahead of him. He quickly grabbed it and stuck it back on his face before his father could notice.

             Cuphead was still gathering the discarded cardboard rubbish when CJ lent him a hand by carrying some of it to lighten the load for his father. When Cuphead took note of this kind gesture, he responded with, “Gee, thanks, sir! That’s really helpful of you!”

             CJ smile and responded as deeply as he could with a “Mmm – hmm!”

             Cuphead smiled back and headed down the stairs with some of the rubbish and began rambling on about the film as well as how scary it was, even noting, “Oh, man, if my youngest boy was there, poor kid would have nightmares for life! Kid ain’t missing anything!”

             This statement made CJ feel a little guilty, but also somewhat amused. While he did indeed sneak into the theatre without really paying and basically deceived his own father, he was honestly impressed that he was never found out. One could even say that he was even proud of having kept up the charade for this long with Cuphead.

             After discarding the last bit of rubbish, both of them stepped out of the theatre to find that the sun was still bright. Cuphead gave his stiff arms a little stretch before turning to his son and declared, “Well, I better hit the road. It was nice watching the film next to ya, old timer! Take care!”

             CJ gave his father a wave and, again in a deep voice, responded with, “You too, Dad!”

             To his alarm, he realised his error and before he could even move his father whipped his head around and walked over to him, echoing the last parting word in confusion, “Dad?”

             As if it wasn’t already humiliating enough, the moustache dropped off his face and was blown away by a small breeze. CJ watched it blow away before turning to his cross father and asking with a nervous laugh, “That was indeed a killer thriller, huh, Dad..?”

 Epilogue:

             Saffron was sitting on a bench in school eating lunch when CJ collapsed in the seat beside her, with puffy tired eyes heavier than lead. She was gobsmacked at how half - dead her cousin looked and asked, “Whoa, what the heck happened to you?”

             “Psycho happened.”

             “Oof,” she replied, feeling very sorry for him, “well, like I said before, it’s okay to admit you’re a bit of a ‘fraidy cat, cousin. Horror isn’t for everybody.”

             Dejectedly, CJ paused and uttered, “Yeah, you’re right. Still, it’s one thing to be grounded for two months for disobeying my Mom, it’s another when all your other siblings look at you weirdly when they hear how you EXACTLY got found out! Juni laughed at me for a whole hour when Dad explained what happened! Still, at least Coral was a bit supportive, though.”

             “Sorry to hear that, pal,” she empathised, patting his shoulder supportively.

             “It’s fine. I still wish I wasn’t too much of a ‘fraidy cat, mind you,” he sighed.

             Saffron suddenly got an idea and suggested, “Well, maybe when your grounding is over, you can sleepover at my place and I’ll get you into the Twilight Zone. I don’t think it’s scary as Psycho but I think it’s a good start for getting into horror without being too traumatised.”

             CJ thought for a moment and replied smiling, “I’ll consider it. Thanks!”  

             “No problem!”

 The End

[amphtaminedreams]

My Amateur European Travel Guide

Hi to anyone who’s reading!

I spent just over a month in Europe over the summer and have far too many good food pics that deserve more than sitting in my camera roll untouched and thus I thought I’d do my very shitty, amateurish version of a travel guide, basically a run down of my favourite things that we did in each city. From touristy shit like the Colosseum and the Roman Forum to some equally beautiful but lesser known places, getting an inter-rail pass gives you the time to see everything whilst not spending an absolute fortune. 

I went with a friend and we did the basic, first-time traveller route: Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Ljubljana, Venice, Rome and Milan. The pass, which allowed us to use domestic and international trains on 10 separate days within a month, for students only cost £230. We did then have to pay extra for the Eurostar from St.Pancras to Paris, and additional “reservation” fees to get seats on the trains in Italy and between France and The Netherlands, but all in all this didn’t cost us anymore than about £50. The flight back from Milan to Southend Airport cost £30, though be warned that it’s actually pretty hard to get from Southend to central London; if we hadn’t been able to get a lift, we probably would’ve spent an extra £30 getting home from there. 

We were away for 3 weeks and 4 days in total, and on top of the approx. £700/£800 we spent on hostels and air b&bs, I spent about £1500 whilst I was away. You could probably get away with taking about £1000 with you if you’re willing to cook while you’re away. We did a couple of nights whilst we were in air b&bs, but on the whole, we usually ate out. The hostel kitchens were a bit of a nightmare, though I’m not going to pretend it was anything other than a combination of laziness and gluttony that stopped me from cooking, lol. HOW CAN YOU GO TO ITALY AND NOT GO OUT FOR PASTA EVERY NIGHT?! It can’t be done. With my non-existent self-control anyway. 

Once I got back from inter-railing, I also then spent a week with my family staying in the cutest seaside town about half an hour outside of Barcelona, Sitges, which we’ve visited a few times before. For that reason, I thought I’d write about some of my favourite things to do in and around Barcelona, not just from this trip but from all the times we’ve visited over the last few years.

I’ll start, though, with the first place we visited on our inter-railing trip: Paris.

Paris, France

It might be because it was the first place we went and the place where I had the most energy and drive to explore, lol, but Paris was my absolute favourite of the cities we visited. I know a lot of people seem to be disappointed with it but there’s just so much to do and so much culture; gorgeous architecture, art, fashion, food, I feel that it lives up to its reputation in every way if you really utilise your time there properly. The public transport is easy to understand and use and my only gripe with the hostel is that it was a little far out. This didn’t really limit us in any way though, so it didn’t bother me. 

The Hostel

Our first hostel, Jo&Joe’s in Gentilly, was a really cool place. I believe it was around £30 a night (one of the more expensive hostels we stayed in) to stay in a room like the one I've included a photo of. The beds were comfy and you had a decent amount of space, and the wi-fi was good. My only issue is that there wasn’t much privacy in terms of the bathroom; there was one toilet room and one shower room in the actual bedroom to be shared between the 6 of us. There didn’t really seem to be much about in Gentilly but to be honest, we didn’t venture very far and there’s more than enough to do in central Paris.

Paris Top Things to do:

1. Palais de Tokyo

Probably my favourite art museum we visited our entire trip, Palais de Tokyo was...an experience. 

Costing £8 for a student ticket, almost every piece of artwork in there was strange as hell. That being said, it was all very immersive and interactive and like nothing I’d seen before which is why I liked it so much. 

Well, apart from the dirty sock. Literally. There was a dirty sock on display. Art, right? 

2. Musee D’Orsay

I’d say if you only had time to do one of the “big” art museums in Paris, do Musee D’Orsay, not the Louvre.

 It’s a lot more compact and has a wider range of styles, plus a lot more modern art, including some Van Gogh and several Degas. I had so many favourite pieces from Louise Abbema’s Allegories of Spring and Winter, to Thomas Couture’s Romans in their Decadence:

Plus I’d take Amaury Duval’s portrait of Marie-Anne Detourbay over the Mona Lisa any day. The staring into your soul game she’s got going on is unparalleled.

3. Eiffel Tower 

I think the level of dumbassery involved in my decision to wear heeled boots to make the 500 or so step journey up the Eiffel Tower cancels out any smarts that went into us saving €3 by booking in advance and walking instead of getting the lift, but it’s all about the experience, lol, and I would do it again for the view. It only cost €5 in total and by booking online about a month before, we didn’t have to wait in what is usually about a 3 hour queue if you turn up on the day.

4. Yves Saint Laurent Museum

It only took us about an hour to do the Yves Saint Laurent museum but it was definitely worth the £10 for entry if you are interested in fashion. It was pretty quiet when we went which I liked as it made for a much more peaceful experience than say, the Louvre, and the museum is very well laid out. There’s a load of original pieces in there and I feel like I learned a lot about Saint Laurent himself too. I also learned that I am very unsophisticated (I really didn’t feel posh enough to be walking into the building, lol) but we been knew.

5. Sacre Couer 

Warning: The Sacre Couer is a very steep walk from the nearest tube station. I internally died. Several times. But it’s very beautiful once you get up there.

6. Monmarte

I wish we’d had more time to explore Monmarte as it was one of the prettiest places I saw on our trip, with so many cute restaurants and cafes. Top things to see in the area are the Wall of Love and though we didn’t actually go there, Montmarte Cemetery too. I found out when we got back that the latter is supposedly inhabited by a load of stray cats and now I am severely disappointed that we didn’t have a look. I guess I’ll just have to go back! You know, just to check if it’s true about the cats. And also eat some more of the food, ofc.

7. Vintage Shopping

We had a quick look in two of the vintage shops whilst we were in Paris, Kilo Shop and Tilt Vintage, and I saw a lot of really cool things. Unfortunately, because I couldn’t really fit anything else in my backpack and was being pretty tight with money at that point in the trip (an attitude my bank balance probably wishes had been sustained throughout, lol), I didn’t get anything. Still, I’d definitely recommend checking the shops I mentioned and the other vintage shops in that area out if you are interested in buying some clothes whilst you’re away. The only thing I’d say is to avoid them if you have trouble with crowds and/or small spaces as there were a shit tonne of people in pretty much all the ones we went in and because of the layout, not much room to move. And protip: if you like breathing non-body odour tinted oxygen, don’t venture in any of them in the middle of heatwave. Not fun. 

8. Champs Elysees 

I think it’s kind of a given that you see the Champs Elysees whilst you’re in Paris, but last time I was there, I only really saw it from an open top bus and was quiet underwhelmed. On this trip, we walked from the Louvre through the Tuileries and then slowly made our way down towards the Arc de Triomphe, having a look down the streets that run perpendicular to the Champs Elysees on our way, which were all very typically Parisienne. At the bottom, you have Aventue Montaigne which has all the fancy, designer flagship stores, and then down Avenue FDR (where we went for lunch) there are plenty of places to stop and have a bite to eat. I thought I’d been all French getting a baguette from down here before realising it was from a glorified Paul which we have all over London, BUT, if you’re into açai bowls, my friend had a really good one at a place called Cojean.

9. Versailles

Before we went to Versailles, a lot of people told me that it was really crowded and not worth going to but I couldn’t disagree more. It was so beautiful both on the inside and out and there’s so much to learn! I’ve always been fascinated by Marie Antoinette so I might be slightly biased but I was totally in my ex-historical nerd element. I would definitely recommend arriving as early as possible if you’re not paying for skip the line tickets, since we got there for around 10 and had to stand in a very long queue to get in. It did move quickly but looked very daunting at first and I imagine it only gets worse as the day goes on.

10. Disneyland Paris

I mean, we didn’t got there this time and technically, it’s not Paris. But come on, it’s Disney. I couldn’t leave it off the list.

Future Paris Bucket List:

Moulin Rouge

Musee d’Orangerie

Jardin du Luxembourg

Louvre Highlights Tour

Louis Vuitton Foundation

Paris Museum of Modern Art

Get dinner in Trocadero

Centre Pompidou

Paris Catacombs

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Amsterdam is one of my favourite places ever. It’s picturesque, easy to find your way around, and full of amazing food. It was my second time here and my friend’s third so we had a pretty chilled out time but still did a lot. I definitely wouldn’t say no to going back again.

The Hostel

The hostel we stayed in in Amsterdam was called ClinkNoord and was a short (and free!) boat ride away from the city centre. Also at around £30 a night, the rooms were basic yet comfortable and the place as a whole had a modern, utilitarian vibe to it which I really liked. The bathrooms were a short walk down the hall, a more private alternative to the bathrooms in our Paris hostel, and were pretty much always free. As for the showers, they were a wet room kinda situation and a little bit grim at times but as long as you bring flip flops (I didn’t, another example of dumbassery, lol) you’ll be fine. Maybe this is the 10 year old in me leaping out but I really loved the bar area at this hostel too: drinks were cheap, but more importantly, it had table football, pool, AND a ping-pong room. WITH A BLACK LIGHT MIGHT I ADD!

Amsterdam Top Things to do:

1. Electric Ladyland

The edibles had already began to kick in a little bit by the time we got to Electric Ladyland so this might be a bit of an overstatement but this place was, in a good way of course, very trippy. It’s basically a mini fluorescent art museum and exhibition in this guy’s basement (not as weird as it sounds, lol), and for £5 you can go in and see it and then, if you hang around, watch him give a demonstration on how it all works and where he sourced his paint from. It says on the website that it’s by appointment only but we just turned up on the day just as a slot was about to start and were allowed in. In terms of taking an edible before you go in, maybe don’t, lol. It was a bit of a surreal experience; in a very dark room, listening to an old American hippy talk about how he explored caves in Utah to find mineral rocks, the weed-induced paranoia low-key kicked in. I did, at points, momentarily forget that there was a room around the point I was immediately focussed on and started panicking that we were just drifting through space. And then there was the occasional fear that I was trapped in some kind of eternal time loop where the man would just keep on talking in circles and I would be stuck down there forever, not wanting to be rude and leave whilst he was mid-sentence, as part of the universe’s karmic punishment for my impractical level of politeness and need to people-please. Climbing the ladder up out of the basement was...a little tricky, to say the least.

2. Pancake House

You have to have pancakes in Amsterdam and my friend recommended this place as the original one. I had a pancake with ice cream, caramel sauce and chocolate sauce and whilst a little sickly, it was tasty af. If I went again, I think I’d just stick to one sauce; it was so sweet that I had to admit defeat about halfway, something I do not look back on with pride. Next time, I will be victorious over one of these beasts of a pancake. Speaking it into existence.

3. Hire a bike and visit Vondelpark

There are plenty of ways to get about in Amsterdam and the trams are super easy to use but hiring a bike for the time you’re there is probably the cheapest and most Amsterdammy (I know, not really a word) way to get around. We hired our bikes from Starbikes by the central station and it was a very simple and affordable process which I would definitely recommend; their shop has some of the best reviews on Trip Advisor for bike hire. Riding along the canals is quite chilled but if you’re not super confident, the best place to go is probably Vondelpark, as it has wider lanes with the added bonus of not living in semi-permanent fear of being yeeted off your bike into the canal by a car coming up behind you. It also has friendly ducks! How can you say no to that? I mean, ignoring the fact that male ducks have like, 9 inch corkscrew penises which apparently spin when they mate. Thank Reddit for that life-altering and mildly disturbing piece of information.

4. Mannekin chips

The BEST Belgian fries which I spent the entirety of the rest of our trip craving. Best sauce combination is ketchup and samurai sauce, and I recommend going for a regular portion. The large is insane and I am very much in awe of anybody who can finish it.

5. Van Gogh Museum

We didn’t actually visit the Van Gogh museum on this trip but I went on my first visit to Amsterdam and you really can’t miss it. Not only does it have a lot of Van Gogh’s most famous works, including sunflowers, it has a lot of the work of the artists who inspired him as well as pieces from some of his contemporaries. 

7. Stedelijk

Really cool modern art museum with an interactive room where you can take part in activities relating to the current exhibition too. Though I guess it really depends on your art preferences, if you do only have time to do either this or The Rijksmuseum, I would definitely say Stedelijk. 

8. The Rookies Coffeeshop

So I can’t say I’ve tried a lot of the coffee shops in Amsterdam as on our first visit we only really went to this one and The Bulldog chain, and this time we didn’t go as much, but they do the best space cakes. They’re genuinely really tasty but they can be quite intense if you haven’t smoked in a while or don’t do so regularly so make sure you’re in somewhere you feel safe and have other people with you.

9. Amsterdam Dungeons

Though the Amsterdam Dungeons were more similar to the London Dungeons than I thought they would be, with less of a focus on the dark history of the area and more on general dark European history such as the Spanish Inquisition and witch trials which also came up a lot in the London run through, I would still thoroughly recommend them. The Dungeons are definitely a tourist trap but they’re also just hilarious and you genuinely do learn a little, so I think worth the money!

10. The Blonds Cafe

I wasn’t crazy about the menu here as I’m a ridiculously fussy eater but I think most people will easily find something they like, and the actual cafe and presentation is really cute. The grilled cheese sandwich I ended up having was really good and even if you end up just having a cake, I’d recommend it. They had lemon AND mint infused water dispensers, which, now I’m writing down doesn’t seem very exciting at all, but I got hyped up, okay? And worst case scenario, it’s not for you, there are loads of other cool and very hipster-y looking (lol) independent cafes in the area. 

11. Anne Frank House

Again, this was something I did on my first trip to Amsterdam, but you can’t miss it. From a history standpoint and as someone who read Anne Frank’s diary several times when I was younger, I found it very surreal to actually visit the house I’d heard so much about. You definitely get a sense of just how stifling and claustrophobic living in that annex was and even if you’re not into your history, I do think a lot of insight can be gained from taking a trip here! 

12. Go to one of the Pastry Shops

If you go to Amsterdam, you’ll see them everywhere, the little slightly shabby-looking cafes with all the amazing waffles and donuts and crepes and cupcakes in the window. Go to one! I had a waffle covered in white chocolate and Oreos and it was 1000% as good as it looked. 

13. Moco Museum

The last thing on my Amsterdam list and another thing we did on my first trip, the Moco Museum is one of my favourites I’ve ever been to. It’s pretty small and doesn’t take you that long to look around but it’s full of contemporary, provocative art based around the theme of political and social commentary. Given that description, it’s probably no surprise that it houses a lot of Banksy, but there’s also a fair bit of pop art too, and a very cool gift shop. Because I can never resist a good gift shop.

Future Amsterdam Bucket List:

A day trip to the tulip fields

De Poezenboot

Eye Film Museum 

Swing at A’dam lookout

Canal Cruise

Berlin, Germany

Berlin definitely wasn’t what I was expecting it to be. As a capital city, I expected it to be this very built up, bustling, commercial place, but it was actually pretty quiet and very spread out. In a way, it almost seemed a bit left behind and completely deserted in parts. That being said, from a historical point of view, it was probably the most interesting place that we went. It’s easy to forget that just a few decades ago the city was completely divided and you can definitely sense that it’s still rebuilding itself.

The Hostel

We stayed in a hostel that was tucked away in the basement of the Aletto hotel, just a minute’s walk away from the Zoologischer Garden station. I believe it was around £20 a night for an 8 person mixed dorm. The beds weren’t the comfiest and the room itself was a bit dark and dank, given that it was below street level, but all in all, the hostel was decent as a stop-off point. I liked that there was a kind of a small communal area in the kitchen and the bathrooms were spacious and clean, and fortunately, it was pretty quiet when we were there so we usually had them to ourselves. 

Berlin Top Things to do:

1. Never Ending Love Story

A really lovely little cafe in a pretty, quiet area, the service here was exceptionally good! I’m not one to complain when workers don’t seem overly enthusiastic, I work in retail so I get that you sometimes can’t be arsed with all the over-the-top politeness, but I do appreciate friendliness and the waitress here was so sweet. I had delicious scrambled eggs on sourdough toast and my friend had pancakes and we both really enjoyed our food. 

2. East Side Gallery

I wish I had more to say about the East Side Gallery, but to be honest I was pretty drunk and had half an edible-I thought we were going out out after, don’t judge me-so I can’t remember much. Judging from my very shitty and my friend’s very good (this is one of hers, lol) photos though, it was really interesting. Good street art is up there with the best of them imo and given the context of the gallery, it’s no surprise that a lot of the art is politically charged, which just adds an extra layer of appeal to it. There’s also a lot of good photo ops, or so drunk me clearly thought. 

3. Topography of Terror

Built on top of the former SS Reich Main Security Office, the Topography of Terror is a museum I’d say you need to set aside at least 2 and a half/3 hours for to properly do. There’s so much information to get through and I’d say I ended up skimming half of it towards the end because we were short on time; I later found out that there’s even more to see outside which we didn’t even touch. 

4. Jewish Museum

Unfortunately, a lot of the Jewish Museum was closed when we went but it’s still a very physically impressive building with exhibitions that are equal parts daunting and thought-provoking, relating to both the Jewish experience during the Second World War and Jewish culture in general.

5. Museum Island

We didn’t actually go in any of the museums on Museum Island but we walked around and sat at a nice little green spot nearby; t’s very pretty to explore, especially as the sun is going down. There were plenty of bars around and people drinking, sunbathing and listening to music by the river. Generally a really relaxed vibe.

6. Fritzies 

I know dirty fries aren’t the classiest thing ever but the ones from this place tasted really fucking good. How can you go wrong with a fast food restaurant dedicated to chips?

7. The History: Brandenberg Gate, Reichstag, Checkpoint Charlie, Hitler’s Bunker, Jewish Memorial

Most of these places are within walking distance of each other and we did them all within a couple of hours. Like I said, the best thing about Berlin is the history so I think making an effort to see all these things is really important. On our last night we managed to find out, via a nearby poster, about a free show on the river (with English subtitles obviously; as the basic monolingual bitch I am, anything other than dankeschön and hallo went right over my head) which covered major points in the history of the Reichstag over the last century; it was the perfect way to round off our trip.

8. KW Institute for Contemporary Art

This museum was half the overly pretentious contemporary art that makes classicists roll their eyes:

-though I do actually like it, sue me-

And half the simple, but millennially-inspired kinda stuff that I love. Like, that top collection got me feeling like the new Van Gogh every time I accidentally screenshot my home screen. 

So obviously, I rated it. And side-note, the building in general, which had an old, unused warehouse kinda thing going on, along with a shady little courtyard outside, was very cool.

9. Pizza Nostra

Look at this photo. Do I need to say any more?

Future Berlin Bucket List:

Historical River Cruise

Return to the Jewish Museum

The Story of Berlin Museum

Berghain (even just to see it from the outside)

About Blank, Suicide Circus, i.e one of the tamer, more mainstream clubs

Anne Frank Zentrum

Hackescher Hof

Oranienburger Strasse and Kunsthaus Tacheles

Prague, Czech Republic

I absolutely adored Prague. From the second I stepped out of the metro station into Old Town Square on our first evening, I felt like I was walking into a fairytale. All the buildings were so ornate and beautiful, everywhere you look is like a postcard. There’s so much history there which we only really had time to scrape the surface of and I can’t wait to go back.

The Hostel

We stayed at Hostel Dakura which was only around £15 a night and a few metro stops from the city centre. As you can see, it’s a little outdated but all in all, still clean and comfortable. The dorm and bathrooms were very spacious and there was an outdoor seating area with benches and ping-pong too. I’d definitely say it was good value for money.

Prague Top Things to do:

1. Explore Old Town

The Old Town part of Prague is definitely the main attraction, from the cute and very typically European seating areas outside the restaurants, to the Trdelnik shops, to the gothic statues, and the colourful buildings that surround them; you'll feel like you’re walking through a mix between a shopping mall and a medieval time capsule. There’s not really all that much point me putting Old Town on the must-do list as it’s pretty much unavoidable but I liked it so much I just couldn’t leave it out. I really haven’t been anywhere like it before. It’s part Westeros, part Fantasyland at Disney (with some stag dos thrown in), and that’s saying something; Disney World comparisons do not come easy from me.

2. Letna Hill

A bit of a steep walk uphill but totally worth it for the view of the city.  Lots of cool bars and places to get cheap beer and cider too, if that’s your kinda thing. Spirits, to my dismay, are pretty much the same price as they are back home. Not that it was on Letna Hill but I paid €20 for 2 doubles one night. €20. PRAGUE IS CHEAP FOR ALCOHOL, THEY SAID. YOU CAN GET PISSED FOR A TENNER, THEY SAID. IT’LL BE FUN, THEY SAID. Sigh.

PROTIP: Make sure you have cash on you, especially if you’re heading up Letna Hill, as they don’t take card at any of the bars and there aren’t any cash machines. There also aren’t any water fountains and the tap water isn’t drinkable, apparently. You know what there are, though? Rats. 

I’m going to stop before I put anyone off. Our experience wasn’t the best but done right, I think you could have a really chilled evening here. Go to Letna Hill. It’s lovely.

3. Prague Castle

Also a bit of an uphill walk, Prague Castle is a gothic dream with live music, tantalising food stalls (hehe, tantalising, somebody hire me to write their cookbook ASAP) and insane views. Half the time I felt like I was in King’s Landing and the other half Hogwarts, and that is the kind of 50/50 split I live for. 

4. Walk across Charles Bridge and walk alongside the Vltava River

I thought our day peaked when I came to the realisation, whilst crossing the Charles Bridge, that we were in fact surrounded by vaguely religious and mildly creepy Jesus-looking statues but then we reached the other side and soon after, became one with nature. We saw ducks! Otters. Swans. Inject that wholesome shit into my veins. 

Also, a pigeon landed on me! That’s right, if you stand there with your arm out for long enough whilst walking alongside the Vltava River, you too can experience the fleeting terror that comes with the possibility of being pooed on but then the earth-shattering realisation that comes after: that pigeons, maybe, aren’t so bad after all. That they’re actually kinda cute in their own weird, scavenging way! That maybe the pigeon lady in Mary Poppins made some points! I mean, can’t we all relate to wanting to steal other people’s food? I definitely can. Consider me a changed woman.

5. GOAP Museum

Though I’m not much of a Salvador Dali fan and I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the “artwork” in this museum was actually just prints from google blown up on A2 photo paper, I thoroughly enjoyed the Alphonse Mucha and Andy Warhol sections of the GOAP. 

-Untitled Salvador Dali-

The former is one of my absolute favourite artists so I definitely had to take a moment when I walked in and saw that not only did they have several of his original lithographs, but also a whole wall dedicated to him. I wish I had good photos but the lighting was a bit too artificial to really do it justice. The lithographs came out pretty well though:

Obviously Andy Warhol is an icon too; his exhibition in particular was hugely informative and well laid out, definitely a people pleaser. I couldn’t find all too much online but it seems like the exhibitions mentioned are permanent, so definitely go and check them out. 

I also feel the need to mention that it was here I ascended to an elite level of art hoe by buying a Mucha lighter. Jokes on me because it doesn’t work very well, like...at all in anything windier than a very, very mild breeze, BUT it looks pretty, so points for that. 

6. Cafe Chloe

Seeing the size of the queue outside Elan Cafe in London, it kinda blew my mind that considering its flower wall, you could just walk into Cafe Chloe and get a table straight away. Obviously the flower wall is a draw for Instagram purposes (yes, I’m a shallow human being, *insert Ariana Grande “and what about it?” gif here*) but the food was really good too. The perfect place to stop off for brunch. 

7. Pedalos

Again, the pedalos under Charles Bridge are kind of a tourist trap but it was only around €12 between us to rent one for the hour; most of them appeared to be 4 seaters so you could get 2 more people in there and split the price again, making it even cheaper. Plus, it was really fun and we got to go right up to the ducks! 

8. Karlovy Lazne

I’m not gonna lie, tackiness aside, I love a club with multiple rooms and this one had FIVE. There were a lot of English people in there and it did cost about 12 euros in cash to get in (take the cash out in advance as the machine outside charged quite a steep fee), but they played ABBA on more than one occasion so I have zero regrets. I mean, apart from drinking maybe a bit too much once again, but that’s kind of a given at this point. I can only apologise to my liver and what’s left of my dignity.

9. Joy Burger

NGL, the service here wasn’t the best and I kind of felt like I was annoying some of the staff literally just by trying to order my food BUT to be fair, I’d probably be annoyed by me too considering my upholding of the British tradition of asking everywhere if they speak English and hoping for the best rather than actually learning the native language. Anyway, back to the point: look at this burger. Fit. 10/10 would demolish again.

Future Prague Bucket List:

Museum Kampa

Petrin Hill

One of the free city walking tours

Pub crawl

Vienna, Austria

Honestly, of all the places we went to, Vienna was the one I was most pleasantly surprised by. Before going, I’d heard that there wasn’t much to do there and I thought that 24 hours would be more than enough to see the main attractions, but aside from Paris, it’s probably the city I want to revisit most. On every other block there seemed to be some kind of beautiful flower garden or sprawling palace or stately home or elegant cafe, but at the same time, it still had a very modern feel to it. A lot like Paris but more compact, and with a slightly Germanic twist. Plus, I had one of the best Maccies of my life here, so I really can’t complain.

The Hostel

For around £18 for the night we stayed in a 6 person dorm at the Wombats Hostel by Naschmarkt. Because we weren’t there too long, I didn’t get all that much of a feel for it but the communal areas and bar seemed very cool and the central part of the city was in walking distance. The dorms were a little small and outdated and we did get woken up by a fire alarm in the middle of the night but it gave me a kind of primary school trip type nostalgia so I didn’t mind too much. I’d probably look for another hostel if I went back to Vienna just because I think if you were staying for a while, you'd start to feel a bit cooped up in the room. For the one night, however, it was ideal.

Vienna Top Things to do:

1. Museum Quartier

We really only walked through Museum Quartier but there seemed to be loads going on and definitely lots to look at. There’s also a giant astroturf covered waterbed which sounds kinda wack but was actually super fun when I wasn’t fearing my head was going to be squashed like a watermelon by the kids quite literally throwing themselves around on it. So yeah! Check it out!

2. The Traffic Lights

It sounds silly but the traffic lights in the central part of Vienna are super cute. Have a stroll around and see how many of them you can spot. Berlin’s Ampelmann wishes. 

3. Belvedere Palace Grounds

Boujie. 

4. Schonbrunn Palace Grounds

Even boujier.

5. Volksgarten

I really felt like I was walking through the Red Queen’s gardens. Minus the crochet and threat of decapitation of course.

6. Max and Benito

SO GOOD. And a really funky seating area outside too. Probably best for a quick lunch and I also imagine would make great drunk food if you need an excuse to day drink. 

Future Vienna Bucket List:

Natural History Museum of Vienna

Wien Museum

Leopold Museum

Belvedere Museum of Contemporary Art

Cafe hopping

Further explore MuseumQuartier 

Naschmarkt

Budapest, Hungary

It might be an unpopular opinion but I didn’t adore Budapest as a city. To be honest, my expectations were probably slightly too high as I’d heard so many people rave about it. I can see why people like it so much: there’s loads of great places to eat, drinks are cheap, and ruin bars are very cool. My issue was just that I thought there’d be more to do in terms of daytime activities. The one art museum we went to was completely deserted and there didn’t seem to be as many historical places to explore as in some of the other cities we visited. Of course it’s all a matter of personal preference and I might have just not done enough research/planned enough, plus that’s still not to say I didn’t have a good time. We had some lovely chilled out days and the city kind of comes alive in a different way in the evening; the boat party we went to was by far the best night out we had throughout our trip and I had some insanely delicious food. We also hired an Air B&B here for about half the price of some of the hostels we stayed in, and so got to actually settle down and spread our stuff out for a few days; something that was much needed after living out of lockers for 2 weeks.

Budapest Top Things to do:

1. Mr.Funk’s

Look at this bad boy and tell me you don’t want to go to Mr.Funk’s and try one of their freakshakes. Tell me that freakshakes being banned in the UK wasn’t a devastating miscarriage of justice and an attack on my human rights. Tell me that I’m not a failure for leaving a donut behind. Pls. Validate me. 

2. Street Food Karavan

Street Food Karavan is such a cool little spot with so many delicious looking food stalls, I honestly could’ve eaten there for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Plus loads of vegan and veggie options too.

3. Boat Party

I believe we booked our night through budapestboatparty.com and honestly it was so fun and such good value for money. It may have partly been down to the alcohol and the edible I had before, lol, but everything felt so surreal; I spent 90% of the event just being amazed by how beautiful our surroundings were and the combination of the breeze and the scenery and the music made for the absolute best atmosphere. Everyone we spoke to was so friendly and if I went back I’d love to do it again, maybe slightly more sober (unlikely) so I can take even more of it in. That being said, bear in mind that these kind of things can probably be a bit hit or miss. The friend that recommended the boat party told me that she spent the first half of the event avoiding being hit on by men twice her age, so clearly it depends a lot on the company, lol!

4. Kiosk

We didn’t actually have proper meals at Kiosk but we did find some deck chairs to sit on whilst we ate ice cream from one of the stalls they were running outside. The restaurant itself was inside but the outdoor seating had a stunning view of the sunset and the river and the area in general was really buzzing. 

5. Shoes on the Danube

It’s a simple monument but the story behind the Shoes on the Danube makes it one of the most important things to see in Budapest.

6. Szechenyi Baths

Before we actually went into the baths, I was a bit grossed out. Like, it sounded great in theory but then we got there and I realised we were about to step into what is essentially a steaming pit of bodily fluids. BUT, put that minute, mildly repugnant detail aside and you’ll have a brilliant time. Start with the whirlpool in the outdoor area and by the time you’ve done that, you’ll be feeling wild enough to bath and sauna hop to your heart’s desire. Unless you are a real, compulsive germaphobe, pissing yourself at the sight of little kids and adults alike getting uncontrollably whisked around like a bunch of sweaty egg yolks is enough to make you put any (don’t get me wrong, warranted) hygiene concerns to one side. You can shower when you’re dead. That’s what they say, right?

7. Margaret Island 

I think we had one of our most relaxed afternoons at Magaret Island, lying out on the grass by the dancing fountains; it’s definitely a great place to sunbathe, read, or grab a cheap alcoholic drink. There’s options for if you’re feeling more adventurous too: on our second visit there, we paid €10 between us to hire a pedal car for the hour and decided to cycle round the island. It was by the grace of god (or for the most part my friend’s very necessary backseat driving) that there was only one casualty of my steering. Angry Hungarian man, if you’re out there, I’m very sorry our pedal car almost knocked you off your bike. My bad. But yeah, my catastrophic attempt at doing the bare minimum physical activity aside, go and chill on Margaret Island. It’s super pretty.

8. Buda Castle and Fisherman’s Bastion

Just a heads up that we paid around €4 or €5 each to go up to the top of Castle Hill with one of the companies giving out flyers at the bottom, so have a look and see if you can find a better deal before paying to ride the funicular. Once we did get up there we could hop on and off, and the ticket included a ride down as well. In terms of what to expect when you get up there, spectacular views. Though I found the castle itself a bit disappointing, Fisherman’s Bastion was really beautiful and had some great photo spots. If I went back to Budapest, I’d probably spend more time in the area as I think that’s where a lot of the history actually is.

9. Szimpla Kert

Probably the most famous ruin bar in Budapest, I really loved Szimpla Kert. It was a bit chaotic and very crowded but the eccentric interiors and open air courtyard gave it an almost magical feel that only a tiny number of bars I’ve been to have anything on. Vaulty Towers and Bar Elba in Waterloo I’m looking at you. Missing you and your overpriced drinks always xoxo

10. House of Terror

The House of Terror was my only real history fix whilst we were in Budapest and I found it really interesting. In particular, I liked how all the visitors took sheets of information in each room to read in our own time rather than us all trying to crowd round one sign. The basement part of the museum is presumably the main draw, and I understand why given how unnerving it is, but I enjoyed the whole museum. Obviously there are things you have to take with a pinch of salt and (our Air B&B host warned in our welcome package that it was slightly biased; I couldn’t find much about public opinion of the museum online so if by the slim chance somebody who knows more is reading this please let me know! Educate me!), but at the same time, if just for walking through the site of the past atrocities, there is definitely something to be gleaned by visiting.

11. Parliament Building

There was really no need for the Hungarian Parliamentary building to step on Westminter’s neck like that but...I guess she did what she had to do.

12. Ludwig Museum

Like I mentioned, this museum was pretty deserted but they did have some cool contemporary art and in particular an exhibition dedicated to the fashion designer Kiraly Tamas which I really enjoyed. His are the pieces in the photo above!

13. Donut Library

Oreo donuts. Need I say more?

14. La Fabbrica 

A very boujie but surprisingly affordable Italian restaurant right opposite St.Stephen’s basilica (pictured), I had one of the many top tier spag bols on this trip here. The toilets are also stylish af and made me feel very much like a peasant so maybe wear something nice so you can get those good good HQ bathroom mirror pics. I was certainly not in any shape to do so. Those toilets were really wasted on my scruffy ass that day. 

Future Budapest Bucket List:

The Hungarian National Gallery

Műcsarnok

Museum of Fine Arts

Budapest History Museum

Hungarian State Opera House

Flippermúzeum

Instant

Great Synagogue 

Memento Park

Secret Walking Tour

Ljubljana, Slovenia

Though we mainly went to Ljubljana so that we could visit Lake Bled, it was still a very cute little area. Pretty small for a capital city but there were loads of day trips out from the centre and for the evenings, a whole range of lively bars and restaurants along the river. 

The Hostel

We stayed at Hostel Kva right in the city centre and paid around €20 a night. The hostel itself was lovely and kind of felt like more of a young people’s B&B than hostel; the communal area in particular had a very cosy, personal feel to it and the staff were incredibly friendly and helpful. That being said, the actual rooms were very small and I did feel pretty cramped whilst we were there, more so than in any of the other hostels we stayed at. 

Ljubljana Top Things to do:

1. Meselkova Mesa

About a 15 minute walk from the city centre, Meselkova Mesa is a very interesting place. I'm not going to lie, I did feel a little on edge whilst we were there, lol; it was pretty deserted apart from a couple of men having a very loud argument. Nevertheless, there’s some very cool buildings and street art so if you’re in a group, check it out.

2. Lake Bled

Our day trip to Lake Bled, a half hour coach journey from Ljubljana Station for IIRC €8 return, was one of my favourite things we did whilst inter-railing. Not only is it absolutely magnificent to look at but there’s so much to do that I feel like you could have your whole holiday there if you wanted to. Assault courses, hikes, swimming, water sports, rowing, tobogganing, chilling on the (yes, artificial) sand, whether you want to relax or thrill-seek, you’re going to have plenty to do.

3. Puffy

These mini pancakes were so good that I didn’t even notice the chocolate sauce was Nutella and that’s saying something because WHY DO THEY PUT IT ON EVERYTHING IN MAINLAND EUROPE!? PEOPLE WHO DON’T LIKE NUTELLA HAVE RIGHTS TOO!

4. Pop’s Place

The best burger of the entire trip, hands down, and the whole menu looked delicious. Would I fly to Ljubljana just to have another one? Probs. 

5. Tivoli Park

A great place to sit down and read a book or go on a bike ride, or alternatively, if you’re me, awkwardly hide from a bunch of people from your hostel you irrationally believed were judging you earlier that day in the bathrooms.

6. Castle Walk

The uphill walk did kill me a little but I am mildly asthmatic so let’s put it down to that. Nothing to do with the fact I haven’t been to the gym in a year. Nothing at all. Anyways, the view was very pretty and though we didn’t go inside the castle, there’s apparently an escape room in there as well as a museum, a restaurant and a jazz club so definitely worth the minor hike.

7. Flower Market

If you go to the square where the food market is, by Dragon Bridge, you’ll find endless stalls of some of the most beautifully arranged flowers I’ve ever seen. It might be a seasonal thing, I’m not sure, but if you’re there in the summer, I’d recommend seeking the market out. They’re a very reasonable price and yes, I did specifically buy a sunflower for a photo op for 50 cent, guilty as charged. When vanity is that cheap I really can’t resist, lol.

8. Illusions Museum

I would definitely recommend going with at least one other person to get the most out of the Illusions Museum and €10 is pretty pricey but if you want to get a cheesy oh-look-I’m-standing-on-the-ceiling photo, here is your best bet.

9. Grefino Frozen Yogurt

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t actually like frozen yogurt myself but I can appreciate good food when I see it and my friend’s portion looked FIT. Plus, I always get excited when anything’s make your own; there will always be a part of me that feels incomplete without regular trips to Pizza Hut to overdo it with the ice cream factory (which this is basically a frozen yogurt, grown up version of). Miss you always. 

Future Ljubljana Bucket List:

Escape Castle

Ljubljana Castle guided tour

Tobogganing at Lake Bled

Row to the Pilgrimage Church of the Assumption of Maria at Lake Bled

Škocjan Caves

MSUM

Venice, Italy

Everywhere you look in Venice is picture perfect. It literally looked exactly how it did in all the photos I’d seen beforehand. There’s so much to do and so many amazing looking places to eat, I could easily spend a relaxed week here. Emphasis on the relaxed because getting around does involve a lot of walking and a surprising amount of stairs, and we had to pack as much as we could into the short amount of time that we had. By the end of our first day in Venice alone, the word exhausted had a whole new meaning. In terms of public transport, there’s only really the boat system, and that’s a steep €18 for a day ticket. Probably partly due to my moaning, we did end up getting one of these on our last day, but that meant that we also got to go to the islands of Murano and Burano which are included. I definitely wouldn’t say no to going back but it’s quite an overwhelming space: a bit disorientating, crowded, and very expensive! You’d have to give me a few years, lol!

The Hostel

Whilst in Venice we stayed at the Wombats Hostel in Mestre, for around £13 a night. We were lucky in that it had only opened the week before (they were actually celebrating its opening at the Wombats in Naschmarkt when we were there!), and so it was super cheap. I imagine by now the price would’ve increased as it was a lovely hostel. Being new there were obviously some teething problems: queues on the front desk were pretty long, the free drinks vouchers given out had mistakes in that you couldn’t redeem them for one of the drinks that was listed, the kitchens were apparently very overcrowded with 2 faulty hobs between about 50 people, and our room as well as the bathroom in the lobby frequently ran out of toilet paper. Other than that, the dorms were the most spacious, modern and breathable of all the hostels we stayed in and the bar and communal areas were great. The only thing to bear in mind is that you do have to get a train into the main island of Venice, but it’s only about €3 for a return and it’s a short journey. 

Venice Top Things to do:

1. Peggy Guggenheim

A really beautiful museum and garden right on the waterfront, there were all kinds of modern and contemporary art and even a piece (pictured above) by Jenny Holzer who is one of my favourite contemporary artists! I definitely fangirled a little! Some other standouts were by Jackson Pollock, Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, Max Ernst, Joan Mitchell and Willem de Kooning which I’m going to offload here to free up some space on my camera roll, lol:

Composition by Joan Mitchell (1962)

Silver Bedhead by Alexander Calder (1945-1946)

Untitled by Willem de Kooning (1958)

Circumcision by Max Ernst (1946)

2. Liberia Acqua Alta

An eclectic little bookshop tucked away down some Venetian side street with tower upon tower of some of the most random combinations of books I’ve ever seen, my favourite thing about Liberia Acqua Alta was the cat chilling behind the counter. It’s shameful the vigour with which the crazy cat lady in me jumped out but I actually did start tearing up at the sight of it. I hadn’t seen a cat in 3 WEEKS! I missed my babies okay:(

3. Takeaway Pizza 

There’s loads of fresh takeaway pizza places around Venice but this particular slice was from a place called Farini. I think there might be more than one of them, and to be honest, when there’s pizza that delicious looking in the window, it would be a crime not to at least seek one out.

4. St.Mark’s Square and Basilica and Bridge of Sighs

It might be a huge tourist trap but you really can’t miss St.Mark’s Square. The Basilica is one of the most magnificent buildings I’ve ever seen and even as someone who is not at all religious, you can appreciate the thought and craftsmanship that went into it. The astrological clock right next to the basilica is also absolutely stunning, just as much so as the one in Prague, imo:

Getting dive-bombed by a flock of pigeons in the square was fun too. My life flashed before my eyes just for a moment. It was a humbling experience.

5. Leonardo Da Vinci Exhibit at Palazzo Zaguri

Basically, this exhibit was a collection of Da Vinci’s drawings of the anatomy of the human body side by side with the corresponding plasticised body parts. Really interesting and not at all as gory as it sounds, which was really the only disappointing part for me, lol.

6. Fondaco de Tedeschi 

If you want a good view of the city without paying a fortune, Fondaco de Tedeschi is your place. It’s a fancy mall with a rooftop area that you can, by booking a time slot online, go up for free. 

7. "Get Lost”

I’m not really someone that enjoys walking around aimlessly but if you’re gonna do that anywhere, Venice is your place. Every street and bridge and balcony is postcard worthy and there are pizza and ice cream and just generally good food places everywhere. You’re bound to stumble across at least one authentic, non wholesale mask shop whilst you’re wandering, and although there’s something vaguely creepy about a load of these blank faces staring out the shop windows at you, some of the displays are totally bewitching:

The middle display is from the shop window of the place that made the mask for Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut which I thought was very cool!

8. Get a boat pass and visit Murano and Burano

As I said, on our last day we bought a boat pass (€18) and visited the nearby islands of Murano and Burano, Murano being the island famed for its glass, and Burano for its rainbow houses. Burano was definitely my favourite of the two; it was a buzzing place full of charming little stalls and shops and boats, and of course, colour. Plus, we even got some close cat encounters in there! Murano was pretty but a lot quieter and seemingly more spread out. The glass shops get a bit old after a while as most of them all have the same things in and so I think finding out where you can see a glass blowing demonstration or visiting the glass museum is a good idea if you are thinking of visiting.

9. Osteria Trattoria Al Nono Risorto

This was a super affordable little restaurant with a really lovely outdoor seating area, recommended by my friend’s mum. The service wasn’t amazing (they forgot about my friend’s pizza, lol) but I had what was probably my number one spaghetti bolognese of the whole trip here, and the garden was very pretty. Finding spots to eat a proper meal in Venice that aren’t going to charge you, like, €12 for the privilege of sitting down in a nice place is hard so I would definitely recommend checking this one out.

Future Venice Bucket List:

La Biennale di Venezia

Lido di Venezia

St.Mark’s Campanile

Chiesa de San Giacomo

Gondola ride

Doge’s Palace

Punta della Dogana

Bugno Art Gallery

Palazzo Fortuny

Rome, Italy

Our final overnight destination, Rome was a lot more cosmopolitan than I expected it to be. I was so focussed on the historical side of things that I kinda forgot it’s a capital city and thus, is going to obviously be pretty commercial. Still, it’s strange to just be going down a very pedestrian street on a tram, turn to one side, and see the bloody Colosseum there. I’m not going to lie, by the time we got to Rome I wasn’t feeling my best and was physically pretty exhausted so I don’t feel like I got to appreciate it as much as I should have done; I ended up going back to our Air B&B a couple of the days, largely due to the heat. It was almost 40 fucking degrees! I was honest to god DRIPPING in sweat on the tram back at one point! But I definitely want to go back again, maybe some time when we aren’t feeling the effects of the planet withering and dying as much, and explore even more. Rome is undoubtedly a very cool place.

Rome Top Things to do:

1. Colosseum and Roman Forum

Before we went to the Colosseum and the Roman Forum, I kind of expected it to be something you looked at, went “wow, that’s cool”, and then moved on, lol, and I was low-key a bit pissed off that we were paying €20 to do so. When we did arrive, though, I was blown away by the scale of both the landmarks and how much there was to see and do there. The Roman Forum in particular went on for ages and there were signs regularly dotted about to tell you what it was you were looking at, what it used to be, and who built it, amongst other things; though I’d love to go back with a tour guide, it’s really not necessary. I can’t tell you how starstruck I was to see the foundations of a temple that Julius Caesar ordered to be built; the Romans have always been fascinating to me and I genuinely feel like I learnt SO MUCH on our visit. We booked a last minute whistle stop tour that got us in and out of both venues with allotted time slots, meaning that we couldn’t stay too long in the Forum, so I’d say if you can afford it, just go full out and buy skip the line tickets in advance. You could definitely make a day of it.

2. Fattori Ice Cream

From a really cute little independent shop near the Air B&B we were staying in, this ice cream was SO GOOD that my fussy-ass-self didn’t even mind that I’d accidentally picked a flavour with lemon in. It’s a bit out of the way but I’d say worth the journey, and there’s supposed to be a lot of good street art nearby so there’s non-food related excuses to make the detour too.

3. Vatican Museums and Basilica

Honestly, the Vatican is worth going to for the ceilings alone. Raphael’s frescos are some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen, and if anything was going to turn me (to Christianity I mean, lol), it’d be them. I love contemporary art and on the whole find classic art to be a bit repetitive and same-y in its themes but some of the work that can be found in the Vatican is just an example of the level of passion and dedication and patience that can be found in so many pieces of the period and is something that I think modern art can occasionally lack.

4. Aventine Hill

You’d think that a spot with such a good view of the city would be absolutely mobbed but Aventine Hill is just as serene as this photo makes it look. Do-ably uphill, amazing place to watch the sunset, and heads up: I can’t think of anywhere more romantic to propose.

5. MamaEats

One of many lively restaurants in the Travestere area, I had (surprise, surprise) another glorious spaghetti bolognese here. IIRC, they also specialise in gluten free food which is very forward-thinking!

6. Travestere and Riverbank

As I mentioned, Travestere is known for its host of buzzing bars and restaurants, but one thing we didn’t know about until we got to Rome was all the stalls and activities down on the riverbank. Though it didn’t seem to be a year-round thing, there was a whole strip of amazing food places and clothes and jewellery stalls and even some kind of VR experience down there which I would definitely recommend checking out if you are in Rome for the summer months.

8. St.Paul’s Outside the Wall

A really beautiful Church both inside and outside that's lacking absolutely nothing of St.Peter’s Basilica except the queues, my protip for visiting St.Paul’s Outside the Wall is to WEAR SOMETHING COVERING YOUR KNEES AND SHOULDERS. I mean, I’d say the same thing for all of the Italian Churches, but specifically this one because they WILL force these blue sheets of tarpaulin masquerading as “ponchos” upon you and you WILL feel like a complete and utter twat. You have been warned. 

9. Street Art 

We didn’t quite walk far enough to get to the cluster of street art by St.Paul’s Outside the Wall, but what we did see we found easily through the StreetArtRoma app, which marks out the various murals and professional graffiti points around the city. I think a really interesting day would be to hire a bike or a scooter and use the app to explore those various clusters that are dotted all around the city. 

10. Largo di Torre Argentina

The site where Julius Caesar (yep, him again) was assassinated, but also the site which is now populated by a group of very cute, and also very friendly cats. We didn’t get to go in the daytime when the actual cat sanctuary was open but when I went down the steps to get a closer look at the site one of the evenings, several of them came to say hello! No offence to any Christians out there, but if there was one point on this trip when I felt I was truly in the presence of something greater, it was here. And they were furry and adorable. With whiskers:3

11. Parthenon, Trevi Fountain, Piazza Navona

Basically, you gotta do all the big tourist spots. Yes, the Trevi fountain felt a lot like an overcrowded kids’ swimming pool, and yes, I did fear I was about to get yeeted into the fountain like a coin at some points too, but it is undeniably a very captivating sight. Along with the Parthenon, it’s a prime example of Rome not really being what I expected, because there’s no big clearing for either of them; they’re literally just slap bang in the middle of the street like they’re NBD, which is kinda wild considering they're hugely important pieces of history and architecture. Piazza Navona is very pretty too and a great place to sit down and get something to eat, even if it was just boxed pasta from one of the supermarkets round the corner in our case. 

Future Rome Bucket List:

Galleria Borghese

MAXXI Museum

MACRO Museum

Cinecitta Film Studios

Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Moderna

Capitoline Museum

Milan, Italy

We only visited Milan for the day as that was where we got out flights home from but I still really enjoyed it. I went once in 2018 and I think the appeal back then was lost at me, but this time I get it: shopping, lol. There’s also a lot of art and fashion museums which are a huge part of the draw, and of course, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuelle; I think if you’re a person with *ahem* a fucking shitload of money, that’ll be enough to occupy you for at least a day or two.

Milan Top Things to do:

1. Galleria Vittorio Emanuele 

The oldest shopping mall in Italy and undoubtedly the most beautiful, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele might be the boujiest place I’ve ever stepped foot in. Sure, the shops are too intimidatingly expensive to consider even attempting to enter but they’re fun to marvel at and the general area has every typical high street store you can think of. Even the Zara in Milan looks like a fashion Haus inside! The same shop that in my local town centre resembles a jumble sale a good 50% of the time! So yeah, despite not having any money to spend and the fact that I was *supposed* to be on a shopping ban until October, I still like wandering around the area.

2. Novecento Museum

With several floors of modern art, interactive exhibitions (which you had to sign a RELEASE FORM to participate in), and an amazing view of Il Duomo upstairs, I really enjoyed the Novecento Museum. I thought it was going to a be a disappointing alternative to the Armani Museum, which was closed at the time, but it ended up being one of my favourite museums we visited on our whole trip.

3. Sforza Castle 

My friend that we met up with whilst in Milan (she has a flat in the city! I’m very impressed!) took us here and we sat down in the grounds for a bit, which was a nice way to chill out for an hour or so. There was a fountain out the front that people were paddling in to cool off too and there seemed to be several exhibits going on inside the castle as well if you did want to get a bit of background.

4. Starbucks Reserve Roastery on Via Cordusio 

The fanciest Starbucks I’ve ever seen in my life. Again, intimidatingly so. But if you like your coffee you will probs be in heaven.

5. Gallerie d’Italia

So me and my sister went here the last time we came to Milan and IIRC, really liked it. The modern art section was a bit sparse but the rest of the museum continued into some kind of grand old building and the usual stately home staples that I love were of course there in abundance: intricate ceilings, palatial stairways, opulent chandeliers, beautiful flower gardens, the place is basically a labyrinth of decadence and we lapped it up, lol. People being rich enough to own buildings like this? No. Them being open to the general public so we can go wild in them? Yes. 

Future Milan Bucket List:

Armani Museum

Navigli

Go in the Duomo

Barcelona, Catalonia

I’ve been to Barcelona about 4 or 5 times now and aside from Paris and London, there is no other European city that compares. It’s so huge, full of character and unique beauty, and endless things to do, that I could return probably about 10 times more and still leave with an incomplete bucket list. With stunning architecture, a laid-back coastline and bustling commercial areas, it’s a city with such a consistent vibe and sense of history. The only thing they could do to make it better? Take down the Christopher Columbus monument. Because having a giant statue of a man who facilitated the genocide of a whole country full of native people is a bit...yikes. Sorry, had to drop that in there. But on the whole I adore the place.

Barcelona Top Things to do:

1. CosmoCaixa

We didn’t actually go to CosmoCaixa on this trip to Barcelona, but we went a few years ago and it’s without a doubt, the coolest science museum I’ve ever been too. There’s information in Spanish, Catalan and English so most people can probably follow the exhibitions and even if not, there’s a whole interactive area with a load of contraptions that you don’t really need to understand to be entertained by. You could definitely make a whole day of it too; we went for about 3 hours and still only scratched the surface.

2. Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya (MNAC)

2 things!

Firstly, this is a portrait of Colette, the French novelist, which me and my sister got really excited about because we kinda stan after watching that Kiera Knightley film!

Secondly, and probs more importantly, the modern art section of Museum Nacional d’Art de Catalunya is one of the most ingeniously laid out I’ve even seen. With the sections separated into different eras of Catalonian art, it kinda reads like a whistle stop tour of the cultural history of Barcelona, and so not only did I see so many gorgeous paintings, I got educated af!  Also, the building which the museum is housed in, the Palau Nacional, is stunning. Plus, there are escalators most of the way up. Iconic.

3. Portaventura

It was my sister and I’s fourth time visiting Portaventura this year and it was as amazing an experience as ever! The park is split into different themed areas, kinda like Disney, and has everything from thrill rides to Sesame Street Land (which is low-key super fun). It has what is probably one of my favourite rides ever, Shambhala, and also randomly the best theme park food I’ve ever tasted. One thing I would say is that the accompanying park, Ferrari Land, isn’t worth the extra money as the queues are super long, and there’s only really one ride worth going on, which is basically just a replica of Stealth at Thorpe Park. Same goes for the neighbouring water park; unless you’re going to pay for express passes there, give it a miss. The lockers are €10, the queues are ridiculous, the wave pool didn’t work (not that the staff bothered to tell everyone who was just stood there waiting for an hour) and the “lazy” river is pure anarchy. Literally, kids half-drowning themselves for the lols, popping up under your rubber ring when you least expect it, and then being screamed at by their parents. I live for a bit of chaotic energy but that lazy river...

4. Visit Sitges

A small city on the coast about half an hour from Barcelona, I really cannot recommend Sitges enough. There’s a ton of cute little art museums, delicious restaurants, heavenly beaches (the waves are INSANELY GOOD! You WILL get knocked under water half a dozen times but you also get to watch it repeatedly happen to other people too and it’s great), and a fucking ridiculously hard assault course out in the sea that me and my sister tanked at, hard. There’s incredible food places everywhere but favourites are Pom D’Amour and Dino for ice cream and sweet treats, and Beach House, Big Al’s American Kitchen, and Soca for mains . There’s also a really prominent LGBT community, plus lots of bars, pubs and clubs. Honestly, if you’re going to Barcelona, I really recommend staying around here as you get away from the the majority of the tourists but can still easily get in to the city by train.

5. Walking with Gaudi at the Gaudi Exhibition Centre

A very cool, very interactive exhibition that dives into the life of Gaudi, his creative process, his projects and his influences. My sister particularly liked the replica of El Drac. Like, she for whatever reason thought it was cute. Named it. Made us walk up to Parc Guell to try and see it. Wouldn’t leave the area til she got a keychain of it. Sigh.

6. Passeig de Gracia

Down Passeig de Gracia, you can both wistfully gaze through the windows of the designer shops you pass by, and actually spend your money (too much in my case) in the high street ones. Best of both worlds, bby.

7. Casa Battlo 

So it’s on Passeig de Gracia, pretty much opposite the metro station, but I had to give it its own little bit because it’s my favourite Gaudi building. Kinda looks like something aliens would build, kinda looks like something that sprang out of the ground, but that’s pretty much what Gaudi did best. 

8. Park Guell 

Just a warning, Park Guell is VERY uphill, and we somehow ended up getting off at the metro station right at the bottom of that hill, only to find out once we got up there that you had to book a slot and that all the slots for the rest of that day were sold out. My sister didn’t get to see her dragon and I was pissed off that I’d just nearly busted a lung open and regretted throwing my inhaler away for 20 minutes straight whilst getting up there, but it was still a pretty good view and we did get to see a bit of the park. Moral of the story though is to obviously book Park Guell before you go. 

9. Sagrada Familia

We’ve never actually been in to the Sagrada Familia, again, because we’ve never thought to book it (I want to absolve myself of responsibility here since every time I’ve gone to Barcelona before this trip, I’ve been a baby and let my parents organise everything), but it is an absolutely magnificent building even from the outside. I would one day love to go in and go up the spiral staircase though, because it looks fucking terrifying and I’m one of those strange people who likes being scared every once in a while.

10. Buenas Migas

I’m pretty sure it’s a chain thing but it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a focacceria, and maybe I’m just uncultured but...I got pretty excited. That being said, my sister and I both ended up getting pizza; it was as tasty as it looks.

13. Las Ramblas and Plaza Catalunya

The most typically mediterranean looking square you’ll ever see, Plaza Catalunya is the perfect place to stop off and get some tapas whilst you’re exploring Las Ramblas.

14. Mount Tibidabo

“I was backpacking across Western Europe, I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo”...yes, I got excited to go here because of the Friends reference (I’m a basic bitch who likes friends AND has other personality traits, smd), but equally so by all the adorable old-timey fair ground rides once we did get up there. It was a few years ago now, so I’m not sure exactly how it worked but I do vaguely remember it being a bit of a rip off in that you had to pay to ride them all individually, so it’s good to know that the view from the Church and the Church itself is more than enough of a reason to go up. There’s also places to eat on the walk down and plenty of ice cream and food stalls up there.

Future Barcelona Bucket List:

Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona (MACBA)

European Museum of Modern Art (MEAM)

El Jardin del Gats

Port Cable Car

Carrer de la Neu de Sant Cugat

So, that was my summer! 100% the most eventful one I’ve ever had! I’d love to go back to every one of these places, at least for a day, and am so grateful I got to have this experience. I definitely missed home a lot and maintaining your wellbeing whilst out of your comfort zone is hard, I’m not going to lie, but I hope that a year from now I’ll be feeling even more adventurous. 

There are so many places in Europe I desperately want to go to, some even more so now that I’ve visited the country. Now that I’ve been to Germany, for example, I’d be really interested in seeing somewhere like Munich or Cologne, as they’re supposed to have a completely different vibe from Berlin. It also really inspired me to get back into Spanish and possibly even learn French. 

I don’t know if anyone who is going inter-railing will read this but if they do, feel free to message me if you have any questions. My friend did pretty much all of the organising so I’m not the most knowledgeable person ever but I will do my very best to answer! Similarly, if anybody has any recommendations of other places to go whilst in any of these cities, food places and art museums especially (lol), let me know. 

Thanks for reading!

Lauren x

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Happy Birthday Baz Pitch!

Can’t Find My Way Home--Fic and Art

I decided I wanted to do something special to celebrate Baz’s birthday. I’ve written a fic but this is the first time I’ve created/posted a fic and a pic. I’m not an artist. I’ve not really created anything artistic since junior high, MANY years ago.  But while I was writing this fic I had an overwhelming urge to attempt a sketch of Baz. The art posted here is my attempt. I can’t thank @vkelleyart enough for her feedback on the fic and her incredible words of encouragement and advice on the art--I’d never have been brave enough to post it, if it weren’t for her steadfast support. Also thanks to @basic-banshee for her beta work on the fic and her encouragement to post the art that accompanies it. And the way she Brit picks for me!

The art goes along with chapter two. Fireside conversation. 

Read the fic at AO3. 

Excerpt from Chapter One below.

Can’t Find My Way Home

Chapter One

Simon

I should’ve stayed in California with Agatha.

No, probably not a good idea.  Not with Penny and Micah leaving too.

I could’ve stayed with Penny, in Chicago. Would’ve been a bit awkward. This is the first Christmas she’s spending with Micah’s family and all. I didn’t want to barge in on that.

It’s looking like I might end up stranded in New York City, on my own, for Christmas.

They’ve delayed my flight to London twice already today.

Not like I won’t be by myself even if I do get home. I’ve not got anyone to spend the holiday with, not with Penny and Agatha here in America.

I could’ve stayed. I just didn’t want to do that to them.

Agatha’s made a life for herself here. She’s got her friends and her new boyfriend. Dr. and Mrs. Wellbelove flew in the day before yesterday to spend Christmas with her. It would have simply been too awkward for me to stay, what with them meeting Tyler for the first time.

Penny offered. To let me stay.

Micah did too. Told me this kind of storm usually shuts down the East Coast.

But it’s their first Christmas together. They don’t need to be dragging me along to Micah’s family home.

He’s got a big family, Micah does. Like Penny. Three or four sisters, I think. One brother? I can’t remember. And cousins. Penny says it’ll be a whole scene.

I’ll be fine on my own. I want to get home, to my flat.

The flight status just changed on the monitor again. Now it’s blank—not even a time estimate or ‘delayed’ anymore.

And then the announcement I’ve been dreading comes overhead. Flight’s cancelled.

Fuck.

It’s chaos at the counter now. I’m leaned up against this pillar, right close so I can see all the people queueing up. There are no seats left anywhere at this gate. Haven’t been for hours.

That’s how I ended up sitting on the floor.

Close enough to hear all the frustrated travelers arguing with the clerks.

Close enough to hear that voice.

The one I’d know anywhere.

Baz.

Baz

I fix my gaze on the ticket clerk in front of me. “There must be a flight going out tonight.”

“No, sir. Storm’s shut down all flights.”

“I need to get to London.”

“You and everyone else.”

This is unacceptable. I need to get home. “You don’t understand. I need to get on a plane to London. Tonight. I need to be there by Christmas. Whatever the price for a change fee.”

The clerk narrows his eyes at me. “Listen. I told you. No flights going out tonight. They’re shutting it down. Now what’s it going to be? Rebook or refund?”

“What?”

He waves my ticket at me. “Rebook you once flights are cleared or do you want a refund? I haven’t got all day.”

He damn well does have all day if there are no flights leaving this hellhole of an airport.

“I need to get to London as soon as possible.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Listen, mister. I’m telling you. No flights. Big storm. You want a rebooking voucher or a refund?”

“Are flights leaving Newark? Can you get me on a flight out from there?” I’m wracking my brain to think of options. This blasted storm is blanketing the entire northeast with snow.

I should have left earlier in the week. I knew I shouldn’t have left it to the last minute. I’d been so sure I’d make it home in plenty of time.

Then this storm had come up out of nowhere. My co-workers had been nonchalant about it, inured to the vagaries of weather in the tri-state area. I assumed the airports here were better equipped at handling snow. Better than Heathrow, at any rate.

Obviously not these amounts of snow.

“They’re all shut down. The whole East coast. There aren’t any flights going out of anywhere. Period. Now for the last time—refund or rebook. You’re holding up the line.”

I step away from the counter moments later, a slip of paper in hand and no prospect of reaching London anytime soon.

I aggressively punch in a search for train schedules on my mobile. Perhaps I can go south. There should be less snow south of here, shouldn’t there? I could book a flight out of somewhere down there.

But where? Philadelphia? Baltimore? Washington?

The weather map is grim. All those cities are under the same massive storm alert as we are. Trains don’t seem to be running either.

What the hell is going on with this country? I thought they were supposed to be intrepid and blasé about weather deviations like this. Obviously the television shows have vastly exaggerated the hardiness of the populace. And of their transportation systems.

Fuck it all. My mobile battery is now well into the red zone. I scan the gate area for a place to charge it while I plan my next step. I need battery power if I’m going to be doing searches all night.

There. I can see charging ports on that pillar beyond the counter.

I stride over to it, pulling my charging cord out of my bag. There’s a sudden movement to my left as I bend down to connect it. A pair of worn-down trainers come into view. “There’s another port over there,” I say, waving my hand at another free outlet. “I’m using this one.”

It’s only when I stand up that I come face to face with those familiar blue eyes. Bronze curls. Tawny, mole-dotted skin.

A face I would recognize anywhere.

The face I see in my dreams.

The face of the boy I’ve been hopelessly in love with since fifth year at Watford.

“Baz.”

I blink at him and my mind is a blank. So, of course, I say exactly the wrong thing.

What I said to him countless times during the eight years we were roommates.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Snow?”

Simon

I don’t even know why I stood up. Habit, I suppose. Even now, years later, I’m still on alert when I see Baz.

I’ve not seen him since the leavers ball, almost five years ago now. I knew he was in London. Penny ran into him about a year ago, at Foyles. Of course.

He’s not changed a bit. Still as pale as ever, tall and posh and impossibly fit. Can’t even be arsed to say a proper hello.

His hair’s longer. That’s different.

There was a moment, when our eyes first met just now, that something else flashed across his face. It’s not often you can surprise Baz Pitch. He’s always got that cool, indifferent expression.

Except then, for that split second. He looked . . . well, I don’t know how to describe it.

“You on this flight too, then?” Great snakes, what a stupid thing to ask. Of course he is. Why else would he be at this gate? I tense up, waiting for that sneer of his, the perfect arch of his raised eyebrow.

It doesn’t come.

Which surprises me.

“The one to London? Yes. Doesn’t look like anyone’s getting out of here tonight.” He bends down to check the connection on his mobile.

I shove my hands in my pockets and glance over at the queue. “They rebook you, then? I suppose I should get in the queue.”

Baz shakes his head. “They’ve no idea when flights will be cleared.” He stands up and waves a slip of paper at me. “I took the refund. I’ll find my own way out of this.”

“What’re you planning?”

He’s always plotting something.

“I’ve got the refund. Just need to find a way south, to an airport that’s not shut down by this fucking nightmare of a storm.”

I frown. I’ve been watching the weather on my mobile. This storm is huge. It’s covered the whole eastern part of the country. “Where’re you going to find an open airport? This thing’s massive.”

I know that expression. A muscle in Baz’s jaw twitches and I see his knuckles whiten as he grips his mobile.

“I’ll find a way.”

Honestly, if anyone could it would be Baz. He’s an absolute prat, a complete wanker of a human being, but he’s bloody brilliant. And determined. Even I have to admit that.

“Well, good to see you again, Baz. I’ll be off.” I tilt my head at the long queue. “May as well figure out what to do next.”

Baz

It’s probably been our most civil interaction in years. I’m at my wits end with my travel plans all bollocksed up but I can’t find it in myself to snap at Snow. Not when the sight of him makes my chest feel tight. When I can’t keep my eyes from hungrily taking in every detail of him.

He looks the same. Worn trainers, track bottoms, hoodie—just like always. His hair is longer, the curls disheveled and falling over his forehead in that familiar way. I want to reach out and push them from his face, sink my fingers into the mass of them. My eyes follow the trail of moles along his neck, dart up to the one on his cheek that I’ve longed to kiss for years now.

I want to keep him here, talking to me, letting me soak up the sight of him.

But he’s already moving away, waving his hand as he steps to the back of the queue.

“Snow.” His name wrenches out of me.

He stops, tilts his head and gives me a puzzled look. “Yeah?”

I clear my throat. “Are you rebooking or getting a refund?”

His brow furrows. “What?”

Classic Snow response. I roll my eyes and repeat myself. He shrugs. “Dunno. I’ll probably see if they can rebook me. I’ve got nowhere else to go.” He looks around. “Don’t fancy spending Christmas in an airport, mind you, but I suppose it could be worse.”

I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know that I haven’t seen him in years and he’s still making my heart pound like it did when we lived together. I can’t let him walk away. I’m surely making an arse of myself but the words are out of my mouth before I can summon the strength to keep them in.

“Get the refund.”

“What?”

“Get the refund voucher. I’ll find an airport that will get us out of this fucking country and back home in time for Christmas, Snow.”

“You mean leave here? How? There’s a bloody great blizzard out there, Baz. Snowmageddon or whatever they’re calling it.”

“Go get the refund. I’ll figure things out while you’re in the queue.”

To my utter shock he shrugs, nods his head and makes his way to join the mass of people in front of the counter.

Simon

I don’t think his hair is all that’s different about him.

Baz has never directed that many words at me without an insult slipped in somewhere.

He’s probably just preoccupied. The travel inconvenience has him off his game.

My eyes keep going back to him as I wait in the queue. He’s leaning against the pillar, head down, furiously tapping at his mobile.

I like his hair this way. Falling down around his face in soft waves.

He always used to slick it back at school. It gave him such a severe, distant look. Went with his personality, I guess.

The only time he tied it up was when he was on the pitch.

Why am I thinking about Baz’s hair?

I shake myself and take a step forward in the queue. It’s slow and I’m bored. Everyone around me is complaining and arguing.

My eyes are drawn back to Baz. He’s still hunched over, scowling at whatever is on his screen. I let my eyes roam over him.

He’s still fit, the twat.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Baz in jeans before. They look expensive, tailored like they’re made for him. He looks really good.

Fuck.

I can feel my face grow hot, even before I turn away from him to scan the waiting area, trying to find something to focus on that isn’t Baz. I don’t know why I’m being like this. I know I haven’t seen him in a while but it’s just Baz. It’s not like he’s one of my friends. Far from it.

I’d been so excited, that first day at Watford. I’d never lived anywhere so posh, never been around people like that.

I don’t know why Watford gave out scholarships. I don’t know how I managed to qualify for one. All I know is one day Headmaster Mage showed up at the care home, signed some papers and whisked me off to a place that could have come out of one of my fantasies.

He’d explained it all on the train. That I’d live at Watford, that he’d be my temporary guardian while I was there since he’s the headmaster. He’d gone on about the clubs and classes and people I’d meet. It was like one of my dreams come to life but even better.

Until I met my roommate. Baz.

I’d introduced myself, stammering ‘cause I was so nervous, put my sweaty hand out towards his. And he’d just glared at me.

I didn’t know anything about him. Didn’t know his mum had been the previous headmaster. Didn’t know she’d been killed in a hit and run on her way to Watford a few years before. Didn’t know Baz was in the car with her when she died.

I didn’t know any of that.

I wanted to make a friend. That’s what all the roommates in stories were—friends.

He’d glared at me and moved off, leaving me standing there with my hand still held out.

It didn’t get much better after that. I couldn’t do anything right. Not in class, not in the room, not on the pitch.

Baz even said I breathed too loud.

It was open hostility the first few years but by the end we’d gotten into a bit of a pattern. We’d stopped getting into scraps after third year.

I didn’t want to get expelled—Watford was the only home I had. Being in the care homes for the summers was bad enough. I couldn’t imagine being back in them full time.

I’d stay out of his way as much as possible—sit far from him in class, in the dining hall. I’d shower in the morning, he’d do it at night. I’d try to study in the library with Penny and he’d stay in the room.

Things were almost civil by the time we graduated. Almost.

If you call sharing a space with someone and barely speaking to them civil.

I’d learned all about his mum by then. And I’d learned Headmaster Mage had been the one to take her place. Figured that first day was likely harder for him than for me. Being stuck with some charity case of the headmaster’s was the last thing he’d wanted to be saddled with.

I can understand that. I can understand how upsetting it was to go back to a place that meant so much to his mum.

I suppose it was easier to take it out on me than anyone else at first. I get that. But then I suppose we got into the habit of needling each other, sniping and snarking constantly. And it stuck. We didn’t know how to be anything else.

At least I didn’t know how.

I tried fifth year. Tried to bite back the comments, tried not to flare up when he would say things in that cool, posh voice of his.

I’ve a temper. Didn’t manage holding it in too well. Baz has a way of going for the low blow, every time. It’s maddening.

It didn’t help at all seventh year, when Agatha broke up with me. I knew she liked Baz. Liked him more than me. They were a better match—everyone could see it. Both from wealthy, old families, both gorgeous and elegant, just made for each other.

Except it never happened. He’d spent years trying to break us up and then, when we finally did, he just seemed to stop caring. I’ve never understood that. I thought for certain he’d sweep Agatha off her feet and that’d be it.

I think Agatha was expecting that as well.

I’m finally getting closer to the counter. Three people left in front of me. I take a peek in Baz’s direction again.

He’s looking right at me. With that funny expression on his face. I can’t place it, it’s nothing like his usual sneer.

My face gets hot again and I turn my head.

But I can’t get that image out of my mind.

He looked . . . he looked hungry? No, that’s not it.

Longing? Is that it?

I’m sure I’m reading it wrong. He’s probably just tired.  

That doesn’t explain why he’s looking at me that way though.

Baz

The trains are as fucked as the airlines. I’m desperate enough to look at bus schedules, even if the thought of traveling by bus makes me shudder.

It’s useless. Everything’s shut down. Planes, trains, busses. I’m fucked. There’s no way I’m getting home in time for Christmas. No way I’m going to be there for Mordelia’s birthday.

And thanks to American internships and their brutal holiday leave policies I’ve got to be back here in another week. I’ll be lucky if I get three full days at home and I’ll be missing the most important ones. Fuck it all.

I hate it here. I hate this internship. I want nothing more than to move back to London. I know it’s a reputable company. I know it will be a good addition to my resume.

They’re planning on opening a London office in May. That’s the whole reason I’ve put up with this misery in the first place. The hope that this internship will lead to a full-time job offer in London.

There’s no guarantee of that though.

Some days I want to give my notice, walk out of there and never go back.

I’ve thought about it. Thought about not coming back next week. But I’m not one to give up. Not one to shirk my duty.

I’m a Pitch. I’ll see it through.

I wonder why Snow is here. Probably visiting Bunce.

I ran into Bunce last spring, before she moved to Chicago. She and Snow were still sharing a flat then. It wasn’t hard to get her talking about him.

I know he’s taking this year off. I know he’s working in a care home. I know he’s planning on going to graduate school, in Social Work.

I hadn’t realized how desperate I was to know how he was doing. I had assured myself I was over him. That I could listen to Bunce and not feel any emotion other than vague interest.

Seeing him now proves just how wrong I was. I can barely take my eyes off him.

I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know why I told him to take the refund. I don’t know why I’m letting myself hope.

Nothing’s going to be different. He’s not going to be friends with me.  

He’s not going to realize I’m in love with him. That I’ve been in love with him for years.

There’s no hope of him falling in love with me.

I’m not sure he even likes me, to be honest. I wouldn’t, if I were him. I’ve been beastly since the first day we met.

I square my shoulders. I’m certainly not going to let on how I feel about him. I’ve kept it to myself for years. I can keep it under wraps a bit longer.

It would be so much easier if I hadn’t just told him I’d find us a way home though.

I’ve booked us a rental car. Which is likely one of the stupidest ideas I’ve ever had. How we’re going to manage driving through this blizzard is beyond me but it’s the only option I’ve got left.

Miraculously I have managed to secure us a Range Rover. The rental rate was obscene, which is likely why it was still available.

But money is no object to me at the moment. I need to get home.

I’m an excellent driver. I’m familiar with the vehicle. It’s a more manageable size than some of these American behemoths and I know it should handle well in snow. At least the kind of snow we get back home.

I’ve no idea how it will handle in this blizzard. But it’s all I have so I am putting my faith and my energy into making this work.

It takes four hours to drive to Washington in good weather. Likely double in this muck. Planes are still flying out of there but I’m not sure how long that will last. They’ve got freezing rain at the moment but that could change rapidly into snow.

If Washington shuts down then my next option is Richmond.

I’m plotting this all out on my map. If we get to either of those places tonight we can fly out on tomorrow’s flight. That would get us to London by Christmas Eve. Not ideal but it will do.

Better than Christmas day, but I’ll even take a Christmas day arrival if I have to.

I save the flight data and maps on my mobile. I don’t want to book a flight yet, not sure if Washington or Richmond will be my best option.

Snow is still in the queue. I let my eyes rest on him, drinking in the sight of him. I’ve not let myself think about him. Not since I saw Bunce. It’s too hopeless to let myself dwell. It hurts to think about him. To know he’s been in London for all these years. To know that I can’t simply call him up and ask him round to the pub. Because I’ve been such a wanker to him for so long.

Because he’d never say yes.

Because I don’t even have his number.

He’s filled out a bit. He’d always be so thin when he’d come back at the start of term. Painfully thin. Wan and anxious. And then he’d settle in somehow, the light coming back into his eyes.

I’d watch him shovel Cook Pritchard’s food in at mealtimes. And then in a matter of weeks his color would be back to that golden glow, his face would lose its sharp angles, he’d be back to the Simon Snow I knew and loved.

He looks like that now. I suppose he must look like that all the time, since he’s out on his own and doesn’t have to go back in care every summer.

I don’t know why Mage did that. Sent him back to those homes at end of term. Surely he could have stayed at Watford.

Mage was there. The caretaker was there. There were always some staff on hand to keep the place up during the summer. Some of the professors lived just off the grounds.

I’m sure the Wellbeloves would have taken him in.

Simon spoke about it once. Seventh year. I don’t think he intended to reveal as much as he did. He’d always spent Christmas with Wellbelove’s family and I asked him why he didn’t go home with her in the summers too. They’d broken up by then so it was a bit cruel of me to ask. Which means I probably did it intentionally.

Christ, I am such a pillock sometimes. Most of the time.

He’d said then that Mage made him go to the homes in the summers. Said it would keep him closer to his roots, his origins. Make him a stronger man.

If I hadn’t already hated Mage I think that would have made me do it. I can’t imagine forcing Simon into that situation when he didn’t need to be in it. It was cruel.

But it was the next part that gutted me.

“I’m old enough to sign myself out now.” He’d said it so softly I’d barely caught it.

“What?”

“I can sign myself out. If you’re over sixteen you can leave. Be on your own.”

“So why don’t you? Certainly it’s better being anywhere but there?”

He’d looked down at the floor and shrugged. Snow can carry on entire conversations using shrugs. It’s maddening.

“Nowhere else to go. It’s better than being on the street. Three meals a day and showers.”

“But surely . . .” and then I’d stopped. Because I wasn’t sure of anything all of a sudden. He had no family. He had no income. I could have let a small flat for the summer, paid for my expenses on my own. He didn’t have that luxury.

“Surely you could stay with someone—Bunce, Wellbelove?”

He had shaken his head. “Too many people at Penny’s. There’s barely enough room for all of them. And Micah’s visiting this summer.”

He hadn’t mentioned Wellbelove. I suppose that would have been awkward, spending the summer with your ex-girlfriend. I don’t know why I had brought it up.

“You could . . .” I’d managed to stop myself in time. I couldn’t believe I’d almost asked him to come home with me for the summer.

No, I couldn’t do that.  Couldn’t have invited Mage’s charity case home with me. What would my father have thought?

Snow wouldn’t have come anyway. He’d have assumed it was some elaborate plot to humiliate him or make him wretched. He’s always thought the worst of me. With good reason, of course, but it still twinges.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Not Pretending (one-shot)

Synopsis: Reader’s reunion is just around the corner, which means meeting her ex. They used to be high school sweethearts, but after she found out he was cheating she broke up with him. But now, still being single, the Reader feels like she needs to bring someone and when Bucky offers his assistance, feelings might be revealed.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: some suggestive stuff, I think swearing, mentions of cheating

Genre: pure fluff

Word count: 4812

   “Steve!”    “What?” the man was startled beyond belief by Y/N’s sudden entrance, so much so his coffee went flying.    “Please tell me there is a mission I have to go on. Please, please, please!” she was on her knees, clutching Captain America’s legs while he himself looked around the room at a very confused Nat and a worried Bucky.    “Umm… no?”    “Ugh,” the girl dramatically fell down to the floor and stayed there, arms and legs stretched out in a starfish while her hair was a messy Y/H/C halo around her face. “Seriously?” she propped her head up to once more look at Steve. “None?”    He only shook his head in dismissal, making the girl groan once again.    “Okay, fine. Are you free tomorrow night?”    “No, Nat and I are gonna go and see that movie we’ve been talking about. Y/N what’s going on?”    She propped open one Y/E/C eye and looked Steve over. “Really? Can you maybe go and see it today?”    “No, we have tickets for tomorrow and answer my question- what’s wrong?”    The Avenger that was lying on the ground had now stood up and was making her way to the couch where Natasha and Bucky were sitting, ‘Brooklyn 9-9’ playing in the background. Steve followed the girl before plopping down in between his girlfriend and best friend before Y/N laid across the three, her head in Nat’s lap, the redhead's palms massaging her head in a soothing motion.    “Why do you need to steal my boyfriend?”    “Because,” Y/N exasperated feeling Steve gently rub her thigh, “my school is having a reunion and I have to go.”    She felt Bucky play with her toes before he spoke up. “And what’s so bad about that?”    Y/N looked into Nat’s green eyes before she slowly exhaled as if not wanting to say the words. “My ex is going to be there.”    “Like the Ex?”    “The very same.”

   “Guys,” Steve was utterly confused, “what are you on about? What ex?”    Y/N rolled to the side, pressing her head into Nat’s stomach like it could hide her from the reality. “We were high school sweethearts, used to be the most popular couple in school. Well, that is until I found out he was cheating on me the whole time right before we left for college.”    “Damn, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”    “Don’t be. I’m completely fine, it’s been years since I got over it, but now with this reunion, I need to go with someone. It’s not that I’m not fine going alone, but can you just imagine all the pitiful gaze and stuff? Yeah, no thank you! So I,” the girl looked back up at Nat, ‘The Puss In Boots’ look on her face, “need to borrow your boyfriend. Or maybe even you, don’t care.”    “Y/N, don’t. Stop with the eyes,” she scolded the woman in her lap, still gently stroking the Y/H/C hair. “I can’t and neither can Steve. We’ve been planning this for months. I’m seriously sorry, but why can’t you just stay home then?”    “Do you know how that will look? Everyone will think that I ain’t over him, that I can’t be an adult in the same room because he did a shitty thing and still even years later I can’t move on.”    Steve and Nat huffed, seeing Y/N’s frustration before an idea popped up in that blond head of the super soldier. “Honey, there is nothing more that I’d like to do than play your boyfriend and beat that ex’s ass of yours, and I know Nat would be absolutely thrilled to do that as well, but maybe Bucky can help you out. I don’t think he’s doing anything tomorrow.”    There was a mischievous look in Steve’s eyes as he looked to his right over to the Winter Soldier. In all fairness, Bucky had wanted to offer his help the second Y/N had entered the room, no matter what it was, but now, his heart was beating so fast he was sure he was going into cardiac arrest. You see Bucky Barnes had a major crush on his fellow Avenger and just the thought of pretending to be with Y/N sent butterflies rolling around in his stomach, but he was not about to push himself like that on Y/N.    “No it’s fine, Buck, you don’t have to,” she gently smiled at the man, making his breath catch in his throat. “I know how you are with crowds, so I ain’t gonna make you do that. I’ll just go on my own and die.”    “Doll,” he was surprised how even his voice sounded when his heart was beating a hundred miles a minute, “if you need me, I’m there.”    “Really, Buck?” there was such hope laced in her words, “you’d do that?”    ‘I’d do anything for you, love’ is what he wanted to say, but instead, he gently squeezed her foot and replied with a “just tell me what time I need to be ready and we're good to go.”    “God, Bucky!” she jumped up and threw her arms around the super soldier, hugging him tightly. Bucky’s only wish at that moment being that she didn’t hear or at this point feel his heart’s erratic beat. “I love you so fucking much!”    With that, she skipped to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, ready to watch the newest episode of the show when Y/N threw her head back and groaned again. “I don’t have anything to wear!”    A small smile was plastered on Nat’s lips as she gave Steve a quick kiss and stood up.    “Come one, you Drama Queen,” the ex-assassin threw an arm around the girl’s shoulder and led her out of the common room, “let’s make you the hottest woman in that place.”    “So,” Steve smirked at Bucky seeing his friend's eyes still trained on the spot where Y/N had been just a few seconds ago. “You’re gonna be her boyfriend then?”    “Shut up you punk. And help me find something to wear,” but there was a bashful smile gracing the man’s face as he stood up and thought that even if it was for just one night, he’d get to be the boyfriend of the woman who held his heart.

   “Y/N were going to be late!” Bucky was standing outside her door, fidgeting with the hem of his red henley. Steve had helped him pick out something that was casual, but at the same time not too informal, as he knew how worried and anxious Y/N was about the whole situation.    “Coming just give me a- off!” there was a loud thud before the door swung open making Bucky gape in amazement. She didn’t look that different from her usual style, but the little black dress, cinched at the waist with a golden belt and the plunging backside made Bucky forget all the languages he knew.    “Sorry, I can’t be bothered with the heels, so you’re gonna be stuck with my short ass and flats.” He looked down at the ballerina shoes, that were laced in a crisscross motion up to her calves making the man gulp in desire. His mind was veering with the thought of slowly untying the laces and looking at Y/N with her chest heaving in anticipation as his hands caressed her body    “Hello? Sarge? You’re spacing out on me. Do I look that bad? I can go and quickly change, I wasn’t that sure about the dress, but Nat insi-“    “God, no doll, you look absolutely breathtaking.”    “I uh… thanks,” now Y/N was at loss for words, the gaze in Bucky’s eyes was so intense, she felt completely exposed.    He cleared his throat and offered the girl his elbow. “Shall we?”    “Yeah, just let me grab my purse.”    Together they made their way to the garage, Tony’s cars all lined up perfectly in a row.    “I thought we were getting a cab?” there was confusion on Y/N’s face as they approached a very expensive looking Jaguar.    “In the beginning we were, but Tony practically threatened to kill me if I didn’t take one of the cars. And why not treat ourselves to something nice?” he opened up the passenger door for Y/N and she swiftly climbed in. “Besides, it’ll give your ex something else to drool over rather than yourself.”    The girl’s eyes became wide as saucers at the comment Bucky had made, noting the slight blush creeping up from his chest to his neck and then his cheeks.    “Aren’t you a charmer?”    “Only for my girl,” he smiled and the engine roared to life.    There was no one else in the team that Y/N felt as comfortable with as she felt with Bucky. He was the only person the girl thought she could be her true self, all the flaws on display, all the broken pieces every bad thought- he’d just accept that and care for her the way she was. And vice versa. Bucky had never felt so free to be around someone. With Steve, he had this need to play the old Bucky he was back in the 40’s, the expectation to be that person, even though Bucky was nowhere near that still lingering in the air. He had changed too much to be the same man Steve almost expected him to be. But not with Y/N. Bucky had told her all of his secrets, well apart from harbouring a giant crush on her, but everything else- she knew about. His nightmares, how he sometimes felt inadequate to be an Avenger, considering his past, he’d allowed her to see his scar and trail her fingers across it. He felt like he didn’t have to pretend, to put on a facade, so now, quickly glancing over at the girl whose beautiful Y/E/C eyes didn’t leave New York City’s lights, he couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit giddy of how it would be to be her boyfriend for real.    “Turn here,” she pointed at a large opening in the gate where there were already tons of cars queueing to get an available space.    “Buck?” her eyes scanned the crowd moving towards the gym where the reunion would be held.    “Yeah, doll?” he parked the car, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking over at a clearly nervous Y/N. Her fingers were twirling a ring that sat snugly on her pointer finger. Bucky had given it to her on her last birthday and the girl never took it off. The sight of it made him feel all fuzzy and fluffy on the inside.    “Can we maybe go back home and order a pizza? Have a ‘Harry Potter’ marathon? Please, I don’t wanna go.”    “Love, relax,” he took her palms in-between his, gently rubbing her knuckles, trying to relieve the pent-up tension. His metal hand smoothly glided over her skin. Y/N had told him if he wanted he could leave the glove on, but Bucky had insisted on not. He was not about to be ashamed of who he was, not next to Y/N, the one person who accepted all of his faults. “We’ll be fine. We can stay there for half an hour and if you wanna leave then we can. The pizza will be one me,” he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and stepped out of the car, walking around to open Y/N’s door. He saw how her legs were almost shaking with anxiety, but the second his arm wove around her waist she melted against him.        “Now let’s go show those idiots what an amazing and beautiful woman you have become.”    The girl linked arms with Bucky, his metal one to be exact and the pair, their hearts thundering in their chests, walked inside Y/N’s old school.    The first thing she noticed is how pretty much nothing had changed. The same white walls with the burgundy stripe on the top and bottom, her school’s colours, the same banners about being respectful towards your peers and not doing drugs etc, etc.    “There,” she pointed at a table where a blonde woman, her curls perfectly styled to frame her face, sat.    They marched together as a pair and Y/N felt herself relax at Bucky’s never-wavering pressure on her palm.    “And who might you be?” the woman shot Y/N a dazzling smile.    “Y/N L/N.”    “No way!” she exclaimed as if the two were old friends. “The Y/N L/N, the same nerd that was my lab partner in chemistry?”    “Beth?” it came out more like a question than a statement of recognition. The last time the Avenger had seen her was at their graduation, her hair had still been the natural chocolate colour and her nose was definitely not as small, let alone the lips that had been pumped to their fullest capacity.    “Of course, who else!” she threw her arms around Y/N squeezing her in a tight hug, which the girl had no other choice but to respectfully accept.    Slapping the girl’s name above her heart, she turned to look Bucky over, her eyes roaming over his broad shoulders like he was prey, but he didn’t seem to notice Beth. His own gaze was perfectly trained on Y/N, how the colourful lights from inside the gym danced across her features and sparkled in her Y/E/C eyes.     “And who might you be, handsome?”    There was a giant ring on her finger, yet it didn’t stop the woman from flirting with everything that had breath in their lungs.    “I’m Bucky. Bucky Barnes. Y/N’s boyfriend. And if I have any say in this, soon enough I'll, hopefully, be more than that.”    Y/N’s eyes immediately shot to look Bucky over and her breath hitched with the statement.    They were just pretending, he was pretending, at least that is what Y/N repeated in her mind over and over again, otherwise the possibility of passing out just skyrocketed.    “Well you’re one lucky girl, L/N,” she pressed Bucky’s name over his henley, the palm lingering on his pecks a bit longer than necessary. “I’ll see you on the inside?”    Without sparing another second she sat back down and turned her attention to the line that had formed behind the pair.    “Please, let’s just get in and get this over with.” Y/N dragged Bucky by his hand as they stepped onto the polished floor.    “Doll,” he wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned down to her ear. To others, this would look like what a normal boyfriend would do, but for Y/N it was hard to keep it together, his smell invading her nose. Her eyes almost rolled back into her head. How can someone’s scent be that sexy?    “Look at it like a mission. A quick in and out. Nothing more. We gather intelligence, mingle and poof, back in the tower in our PJ’s with a hot pizza on its way.”    “Thank you,” she cupped his rugged cheek and placed a piece of brown hair behind his ear that had untangled itself from the bun he’d created. “I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.”    “Anytime, doll.” His gaze held such love, such care. The pair unconsciously started to lean in, Bucky’s eyes never straining from her lips and vice versa. They were just about to kiss when a voice Y/N hadn’t wanted to hear, invaded their senses.    “L/N! Oh my God! I did not expect to see you here!”    Bucky looked over her shoulder and noted a man with dirty blond hair and green eyes walking towards the pair, a slender woman right by his side.    “Max!” she threw on a fake smile as Y/N turned around expecting to go and give the obligatory hug, but Bucky’s metal arm wove around her waist and he placed his chin in the crook of her neck, the five o'clock shadow tickling her skin. Y/N’s mind immediately went to how it would feel between her legs, scraping her things and leaving a beautiful burn, but this was definitely not the time nor place.    “He the ex?” Bucky murmured.    “Yep,” she popped the ‘p’ and turned her attention back to the approaching man.    “Damn!” he exclaimed leaning in for a hug and holding onto the girl a bit longer than needed, his hand roaming dangerously close to the small of her back and to her ass. “I almost didn’t recognise you. I’m Max,” he extended a hand towards Bucky, clearly puffing out his chest and straining his biceps to appear stronger. But he was nothing compared to the super soldier. “Y/N and I used to be a thing back in the day.”    “Bucky. And Y/N and I are a thing now. Have been for three years.”    Which was somewhat true. They had met three years ago during a mission when the Avengers had gotten ambushed and she’d picked the bad guys out one by one saving everyone’s asses, including Bucky’s. On the way back in the quin-jet they had hit it off and become immediate friends.    “Best three years of my life,” Y/N turned to look at the super soldier and his heart swelled to see her eyes hold nothing but the truth.    “Naw, sugah, don’t say that. We had a good run,” Max butted in, clearly looking Y/N over as if not believing how good she looked.    “Yeah and well it ended, so what can we do.”    Bucky noted the hidden distain in Y/N’s voice and gripped her waist tighter from behind.    “Oh, this is Arabella, my girlfriend.” The woman extended a perfectly manicured palm and Y/N grasped it.    “Pleasure,” she had an accent to her voice, though it was hard for the girl to detect from where.    “Likewise.”    “Love, I’m gonna go get us drinks okay?” Bucky leaned down and pecked Y/N’s cheek. She felt a blush creep up her neck, but most importantly she noted how weird it felt that her and Bucky being together, didn’t feel weird at all. And yes, obviously she had dreamt of it since the crush had started to develop, but Bucky’s acting was so impeccable, it was as if he was also enjoying being a couple. But she had to remind herself, he was only acting, that’s it.    “Hurry back, love.” She replied with a sweet kiss on his own cheek.    “I’ll be like lightning.”    With that, he disappeared into the crowd towards the punch bowls and that left Y/N, Max and Arabella alone.    “Would you mind getting a drink for us as well, sweet-cheeks?” Max turned to the woman, who nodded before walking off, the red dress clinging to her every curve.    Max’s eyebrows were high up in his forehead, a look in his eyes Y/N couldn’t really figure out. “So an Avenger, huh? Never expected for you to go in that kind of a direction. Let alone date one. And the Winter Soldier? Seriously?”    “Things change, people change, with that their dreams as well. And yeah, the Winter Soldier. You gotta problem with that?”    Her arms were crossed over her chest, a defensive pose. Y/N absolutely despised when people mentioned Bucky’s past and her protective instincts kicked in. She’d beat anyone to a pulp if they even looked at him the wrong way. Bucky himself had had to pull the girl away from quite a few fights when her ears had picked up on nasty comments coming from some SHIELD agents who didn’t support Bucky’s involvement.    “Well, just knowing that you could do so much better, it makes me wonder, but other than that, no not really. I mean you look hot as hell.”    It took every ounce of willpower in Y/N’s body not to punch him straight in the face and break his perfect nose in a crumpled mess.    “Yeah, better like what? Like you?”    “Come on, sweetie, that was a one-time thing and you know it. I slipped up. We were good together,” he was sauntering closer and closer, his hands moving to rest on her waist. But Y/N didn’t move, deliberately.    “We were weren’t we?” she looked down onto the ground, her gaze roaming over their feet.    “The Power Couple throughout all high school. What do you say? Wanna relieve it?” his finger was under her chin, making their eyes meet.    “I would… If I didn’t have any brain cells and had absolutely no idea what was good for me. Bucky may have been the Winter Soldier, but you have no idea what I am capable of when you talk bad about the people I love or care about, so Max, if you would be so kind, I would take your filthy hands off of my body before I break every finger in them or better yet, allow Bucky to do so.”    Y/N’s eyes looked over Max to where Bucky was walking back, no doubt having heard the conversation with his super soldier hearing, a proud smile plastered on his face.    “You heard my girl. Take your hands off, or you’ll be in a worse condition than I was after I lost my arm.”    Bucky handed the girl her drink and threw his left arm over her shoulder, the metal glinting in the variously coloured lights.    “I can still see you’re making dumb decisions, Y/N.” Max stepped back, hands in his pockets as if actually scared the pair would break his fingers.    Arabella had come back and handed Max his drink, the guy downing it in seconds.    “My only dumb decision was ever being with you, ever trusting that your cheating days were behind when we started dating. Arabella,” Y/N addressed the woman, “you seem like a lovely girl, you can do so much better than this nobody. Cause if he has no problems hitting on an ex in a crowded room full of people we both know, he’ll have no problems doing that with a stranger.”    With that Y/N and Bucky walked off, the man dragging her onto the dance floor where Benny Goodman’s ‘Sing, Sing, Sing’ had started to play. Y/N immediately recognised the tune as Bucky had wanted to relearn how to dance like he used to back in the day and the girl had been his partner in various moments.    “That was so hot,” he shouted over the music, drinking his punch and Y/N doing the same before distracting the plastic cups and jumping onto the dance floor.    “No one talks bad about my family,” she smiled so wide Bucky felt his heart skip a beat. With the amount that it did that, especially around Y/N, he was surprised he wasn’t dead.    To Y/N’s own bewilderment, she found herself having a great time, Bucky flipping and spinning her around to the music, eliciting laughter with every movement. Even with the songs like ‘Welcome To The Black Parade’ which the DJ promptly introduced as taking them back to that cringe-worthy emo phase, Bucky was belting out every lyric alongside Y/N.    Throughout the reunion, she could feel a pair of eyes constantly watching her. She knew it was Max, but the girl didn’t care. In her world there existed nothing but Bucky. And as the DJ turned on a slow song, the most cliche one possible- Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’-, their feet skidded to a halt and the man pulled their bodies close to one another, chests heaving from their activities.    “You know what, this is not that bad. And all thanks to you Bucky,” Y/N smiled up at him, forehead going to rest on his broad chest.    “I’d do anything for you, doll,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.    Her heart almost stopped at the sincerity of his words, as he softly sang the song.

I will not give you up this time But darling, just kiss me slow Your heart is all I own And in your eyes, you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark With you between my arms Barefoot on the grass Listening to our favourite song When you said you looked a mess I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, Darling, you look perfect tonight….

   Bucky looked down at the girl who was already looking into his piercing blue eyes.    “I don’t want to pretend,” it was now or never and he was not about to lose his chance, “not with this. I want to call you mine and I want to be yours. I want to wake up next to you and wrap you in my arms. I want to hold you and kiss you and I want to make fun of how messy you look in the mornings, which you’ll rebuff with your usual 'shut up', but this time you’ll accompany it with a kiss. I,” he couldn’t form words anymore, how intensely Y/N was looking at him, “I love you and I don’t want to pretend that I’m fine with being just friends. Not anymore.”    It took her a couple of moments to soak in what Bucky had said. She had to actually pinch herself on one of the palms that were still tightly wrapped around Bucky’s neck. Was her heart beating? Was there air flowing into her lungs? Y/N couldn’t tell anymore, for she was probably dead. I mean that would be the only reason why Bucky would say any of that. Right?    “Doll?” his palm gently cupped her cheek, eyes searching for any kind of an answer, a refusal anything, but before he could even move a muscle, Y/N pressed her lips to his, having to stand on her very tippy toes to reach the man.    But once Bucky’s brain processed what was happening, a giant smile made it’s way onto his face, as he fully wrapped both of his arms around the girl and lifted her up, spinning them around.    “So, I hope that is a yes? To being my girl?” he asked her after catching his breath.    “Only if you be my man.”    “Doll, I’ve belonged to you since the day you walked into my life.”    Y/N couldn’t help herself, she pushed her fingers into the dark locks, that were now fully untangled and kissed him deeply, slowly and hard, making their bodies mould together like clay.    “So how about that pizza?” She smoothed down the now wrinkly henley, letting her shaky fingers skim his skin were the shirt ended and his pants started. “And maybe something else after that?” There was a suggestive smile on her face as she wiggled her eyebrows.    Bucky groaned throwing his head back before kissing her once more.    “You’ll be the death, of me, woman.”    “Well then if you’ll allow me, I’d like to show you a good time before you go,” she detached herself from Bucky’s body and put a swing to her hips. Now there were two pairs of eyes trailing along where she was walking towards the exit, but Y/N cared only about one, who soon caught up and picked her up bridal style, a shriek escaping the girl’s mouth as she barely had time to clutch onto Bucky’s shoulders.    And when they got home, and ordered that pizza, a movie playing in the background, when their clothes got thrown on the floor, and the pair lost themselves in the world of lust and moans, breathless calls of their names and explosions of pleasure, when their bodies were sore and sweaty, a tangled mess of limbs, sweet caresses and light kisses, Y/N thought to herself that maybe reunions and exes weren’t that bad. Not if that meant finding your one true love.

Tags (crossed out couldn’t be tagged, sorry love): @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @lumelgy   @callmebucky-doll@projectxhappiness @palaiasaurus64 @coal000 @nerissa98 @killuaenthusiast 

A/N: I should be doing my essays, but I’m still in a very fluffy Bucky mood :))

P.S. please tell me what you think :)

P.S.S. if you have any requests or wanna be tagged in future stories, please drop a message :)

P.S.S.S. please don’t repost without credit :))))

[heartkook]

horror || park jimin

Park Jimin x reader

Summary: The movie you go to see is way too scary, so you wait outside for your friend, and find someone else doing the same thing. 

Genre: fluff

Words: 1651

there’s one swear word in this sorryyy

also why do I keep setting imagines in cinemas??? what does this mean

he’s such a squish

“I really don’t want to do this.” I muttered anxiously, standing in the queue to buy cinema tickets. My friend slapped me on the back, grinning as she pulled out her money.

“It’ll be great. I’ve heard it isn’t even that scary.”

Apparently all her other friends were busy, so there I was, going with her to see a horror film. I was terrified of most things, horror definitely included. I got far too immersed in the storylines of the films, and would usually cry when watching them, left with nightmares for weeks.

“Plus,” she continued, “it is my birthday.” I sighed. That was the only reason I was there. I couldn’t leave her alone on her birthday, and this was the one thing she wanted to do. She enjoyed watching these terrifying films, said they gave her an adrenaline rush, and were usually hilarious. I didn’t agree.

I reluctantly bought the ticket, my stomach squirming as we walked into the darkness of the theatre. I grabbed her arm, and she gasped as my nails dug into her arm, walking down to our seats.

“We haven’t even sat down yet, Y/N.” She mumbled, chuckling, and I tried to glare at her in the limited light.

“I’m doing this for you, you better be nice to me.” I hissed, and she only laughed more, sitting down. I made sure I was on the aisle seat, so I could escape if I needed to, and tried to calm my racing heart as the opening credits began to play.

The first part of the film was fine. It was marginally creepy, but nothing had really happened yet, and I began to feel okay. That was until an intensely terrifying creature suddenly burst out from behind a wall, screaming and bleeding.

I let out a shriek, my breath catching in my throat and my heart hammering as I screwed my eyes shut. The music began to increase, and I watched through my fingers as the creature began to chase the main characters through some sort of tunnel. My knees were pressed to my chest, and I was practically panting, glancing over at my friend to see her completely absorbed in the film, a small grin on her face. Psycho.

I lasted a while longer, my fists clenched over my face and my heart rate through the roof as I tried to ground myself and remind myself that it’s not real, it’s not real, they’re actors. But I still screamed with every jumpscare, my eyes filling with frightened tears as I was shocked into slamming them shut again. It was when one of the characters began ripping up a human that I had finally had enough.

“Nope, no, fuck this.” I muttered, turning to my friend, keeping my eyes anywhere but on the screen. “I’ll be outside.” I said, ignoring her whispered reply as I practically flew out of my seat. I flinched at every sound from the film and hurried down the aisle, sighing in relief when I saw the exit. I was still paranoid and terrified, so when I lifted my hand to open the door and something brushed against it in the dark, I couldn’t help but to scream.

I whipped my hand back, slamming my other one over my mouth as I heard a simultaneous shout of fear. A man had been trying to open the door at the same time as me, and we had touched hands, which is what caused me to have a minor heart attack. We stared at each other in the limited lighting, eyes wide, before we both dove for the door.

I sighed in relief as I found myself in the warm lighting of the cinema lobby again. I took shaky breaths, turning to look at the man who had followed me out. He was obviously petrified too, his eyes comically wide and his hair messy as if he had run his fingers through it multiple times. He was leaning against the wall, breathing heavily.

I took a moment to catch my breath, trying to rid myself of the images I had just seen, and then I couldn’t help but to let out a quiet laugh at the state of both of us, my shaking hands coming up to wipe my watery eyes. 

“Sorry about that.” He said hastily, and I waved him off with a shaky smile.

“Too scary for you too?” I asked, moving to sit down on one of the leather seats, rubbing my hands on my jeans. He let out a breathless chuckle, eyeing me from where he was stood.

“Yeah.” He nodded, before shaking his head with a disgusted look. “Who could watch that? The way that thing…” He physically shuddered at the thought of what he had just been watching, and I laughed, nodding.

“Right? Why would you enjoy that?” I marvelled at how anyone could watch it with no problem. “It was too much for me.” I said shakily, before sighing. “But I can’t leave because-“

“Because your friend is still in there.” He finished, his eyes twinkling when I nodded, confused. “It’s the same for me. My friend loves that stuff, I don’t know how.” He gestured inside, and I laughed.

“We should set them up.” I chuckled, and he giggled, his eyes disappearing as he came to sit next to me.

“Yeah. Then they can take each other to see films like that, and not drag us along.”

We spent the rest of the film talking and laughing with each other. He was easy to get along with, and now my racing heart had calmed and we were in decent light, it occurred to me how attractive he was. As we talked I found myself marvelling at how adorable he was, pulling his knees up to his chest and gesturing with sleeves that hung over his small hands, his eyes squinted into half-moons as he smiled. We got on so well that I was surprised when people began leaving the screen, amazed it had been that long.

His friend appeared first, spotting him immediately and walking over with a grin on his face.

“You should have stayed hyung, the ending was so good.” He enthused, and Jimin scrunched up his nose.

“I’m very glad I didn’t see it.” He replied, his knees still pulled up to his chin, and his friend sighed.

“You’re no fun. Who’s this?” He asked, noticing me and glancing at me curiously.

“Oh, this is Y/N. Y/N, Jungkook.” He gestured between us, and I awkwardly waved as Jungkook smirked at me.

“Pleasure.”

“Oh, stop flirting.” Jimin rolled his eyes, looking at me. “Every attractive girl he sees.” I tried to ignore the way my heart had jumped at the word attractive, my cheeks heating up. My friend appeared soon after, practically skipping towards me, and I frowned.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked incredulously, wondering how she could be so happy after watching that. I was still scared, and probably would have been much worse if Jimin hadn’t been there.

“Y/N, it was so good!” She clapped her hands together. She began describing some vividly gory scene to me, and Jungkook jumped at the opportunity to join in, the two of them starting some passionate conversation about the ending. Jimin and I watched them with frowns.

“They’re made for each other.” He leant and whispered to me, his breath against my ear, and I nodded, grinning. I turned my head to look at him, my cheeks automatically lifting as I saw him watching Jungkook with a soft smile, his chin on his knee.

“So Jimin,” I started after a moment, and he turned to me, “I think I should probably get your number.” I said boldly, my heart stopping as his eyes widened. “You know, just in case I get nightmares and need someone to talk to who isn’t insane and actually feels fear.” Thankfully he began to smile shyly, pressing his face into his knees and nodding. He giggled as he got out his phone.

“Yeah, and I might need to text you if he tries to drag me to another one, so you can save me.” He added, gesturing to his friend and grinning as I put my number in his phone. 

We left the cinema and said goodbye to both of them, my eyes fixed on Jimin as he smiled at me, waving.

I ignored the questions about him from my friend as we walked home, still grumbling about the film and how she could have let me see such a thing. 

That night, although I couldn’t seem to get Jimin’s smile out of my head, I couldn’t seem to forget the film either. I lay awake in the dark, seeing shadows in every corner, and squeezing my eyes shut to rid myself of the images from the film. I was just about to turn the lights on when my phone buzzed. I let out a shaky breath at the noise, before a smile stretched across my face at the message displayed on the bright screen.

I can’t sleep. 

I grinned, typing out a reply.

Me neither. I keep seeing that creature in my room.

I think I’ll have nightmares if I try and sleep now.

I bit my lip, whipping my head around my room anxiously. Now that I wasn’t in Jimin’s company, or around anyone, everything seemed a lot more terrifying.

Same.

He didn’t respond for a while, and I was about to try and close my eyes when my phone buzzed again. I jumped at the sound, but smiled automatically at his text.

Meet me at McDonalds in 20??

I let out a breathless chuckle, beaming up at the ceiling for a moment before eagerly swinging my legs out of bed, grabbing my keys, and leaving, a grin still firmly in place.

masterlist

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

10th December 2017

We woke up and decided that we were going to go to the Water Park! I was so excited – I love water parks. Steve and I are avid water lovers anyway so adding slides in makes it twice as good.

We got the table and chairs out of the front seat and set them up. We had no electricity so it was cereal and iced coffee for breakfast. We really enjoy our iced coffees in the morning, more so than a normal coffee. I guess the heat has a lot to do with that.

I suggested that we stay at this place for another night but we're used to having electricity now. Steve said we'll have a look around later on. I went to the bathroom to get myself sorted whilst Steve shoved everything back into the van. I had to put my swim stuff on underneath my clothes, brush my teeth, wash my face. I didn't shower – grubby as that sounds. The showers were full of the children getting washed. I was going to get into the water straight away so I cut my losses.

I got back to the van and sorted the rest of the stuff out whilst Steve went and chucked his trunks on. He only ever takes 5 minutes and the majority of that time is walking to and from where he needs to be!

We were on the road by 0930. We were half an hour out and the park opened at 1000. I was dreading the queue mind you, it was going to be a nightmare. Steve was driving and I was passenger which was what happened 65/35. Steve loves to drive (as do I) but he comments on my driving ALL the time and I can't bare it. He used to do it when he didn't have a license! I reckon I'm the better driver anyway but at least he agrees that I'm better at parking.

We pulled up at the park and tried to find a space. There were loads but much further away from the park which isn't an issue. We got our stuff together and walked over to the main door. Our tickets are considered a 'Season Pass'. If they were working, we'd have a photo card pass. I was gutted when I found out, I would've been able to keep it for my travelling book.

We queued up in the pre-paid ticket queue. We weren't sure whether it was right but they were technically already pre paid for. I found a member of staff and they already knew what was wrong with our tickets and let us go straight in. What a result! I was expecting to be sent to another queue and then explain the situation all over again.

We walked through and went straight over to the map. We found our bearings and then went to the wave pool to get some sunbeds. People were actually running to get good seats... We grabbed two sunbeds and then sat down to sort our stuff out. We had to put our sun cream on and let that sink in before going on any of the rides.

We shoved our stuff under the beds and went to the first water slide! There weren't really any queues yet which was great. The first slide we went on was called 'Hydro Slide'.  After climbing around 10 flights of stairs, I was dying, naturally. We had to sit in a ring of 3. Steve was at the back and I was in the middle, nobody was in the front. The guy pressed the button and we were off!

We went down a drop first which was dark and then we were shot up into the sky. The ring followed the track round, with drops and shots all over the place. This ride took our photo at a drop which I can imagine being a hilarious capture. We ended up in a massive pool of water and I couldn't get my fat behind out of the ring!

First ride complete and we were smiling from ear to ear. We were the oldest children there, besides the actual adults with their children (who probably say it's for the kids but it isn't).

We were straight up the same tower but different stairs. The next ride was called 'The Green Room'. This was a big rubber ring that sits 4. Steve and I had to sit opposite each other – facing each other. The slide was dark and there was an immediate drop. We eventually came out into a massive bowl which shot us up to the top of the bowl. We were almost at a complete vertical angle. We continued going round and eventually went down into a big pool. I liked this ride but when we went vertical, I could've cried! I thought we were definitely going to tip out! Steve went backwards the whole time thankfully.

The other ride on this tower was called 'The Wedgie', which was a no from me. These are the only water rides I can't bring myself to do. It's the ones where you stand in what looks like a capsule and then they press a button. The floor below you disappears and then you fall down. At the end, you come out with a massive wedgie – hence the name. I told Steve to go on it but he wouldn't if I didn't. There was no way I was going on it, I hate those ones.

That was the first tower of rides complete. We walked back over to our chairs to make sure that our stuff was alright, which it was. We went onto the next 'tower' of rides. We walked over and saw 'The Bro'.  The Bro was one for the kids but we still decided to queue up for it. We had to grab a mat with handles from the bottom of the slide and carry it up with us. It was basically like a waterproof yoga mat with handles. At the top of The Bro, there were 8 slides. We had to stand with 6 others and wait for the green light to go. We had to kneel on the mat in the top of the slide which was almost like a mini pool. Steve and I were egging each other on by saying who was going to win. Obviously, I was going to win. I go down slides really fast and it's 100% nothing to do with how large I am...

Red light... Amber light... GREEN LIGHT!

I launched myself forward, head first holding onto the handles. It was pitch black and I was going so fast. I smashed my elbow on the side of the slide at one point which really hurt but I wasn't concentrating on that. I was concentrating on whether I was going to come out before Steve.

We were out into the light on the slides to the ground now. I saw Steve behind me! I was in the lead! In fact, I was in the lead out of all 8 slides! The last bit was going downwards, wibbly and wobbly bits up and down into a pool.

I got up and Steve got up. We were laughing at each other. I was claiming victory! We handed our mats to the next lot of people in the queue and walked over to find the next ride. I told Steve that I hurt my elbow on the way down and he had a look. I had actually cut it and it was bleeding. Cuts always look worse when they're wet because the blood travels with the water. I thought I'd cut it open! Once I cleaned it, there wasn't really a mark I could go on about (which is a shame. I love the sympathy vote, me).

We walked over to get on the Triple Vortex. We had to queue downstairs again this time to grab our rubber ring. It wasn't actually a ring though, it was a 3 man rubber ring with the holes in a row. We waited for people to come off so they could give us theirs. Steve carried it up the stairs which was great because I was knackered climbing like 20 flights of stairs let alone carrying something other than myself!

We got to the top and the queue's were picking up as the time ticked on. We eventually got on and Steve and I had to sit opposite each other with our feet in the middle hole. I was a little worried because I have a very large behind and it was touching the floor! How embarrassing?! Oh well, I just had to push my hips up slightly so I didn't get water slide burn.

Triple Vortex consisted of 3 (funnily enough) 'bowls' as you go down the slide. This had drops and darkness and I hated the idea of going backwards. Steve was going backwards the majority of the way though so I didn't have to worry about that. I'm hoping he offers to go backwards all the time.

We got to the bottom and he was laughing so much. I couldn't get my fat arse out of the hole and everyone was watching! They were obviously all waiting in line to get their rubber rings to take up. I fell out of the ring into the pool. Why couldn't I have been swallowed up then and there?!

We went onto what we believed to be the last ride in the park. The RIP. I was hoping it was called rip as in 'Let one rip' rather than Rest In Peace. The Rip was a 4 man rubber ring in a circle and Steve and I had to sit opposite each other to even out the weight. The Rip had a massive drop to start with and I screamed the moment we were off. It was another bowl type ride but they were all different. Again, the man that pushed us off let Steve go backwards so hooray for that.

We went back to our beds to check on our stuff. Everyone was fine so we decided to go into the wave pool for a swim. It was as busy as anything with all the children waiting for the horn to go off. I would rather no waves but that's because I get awfully bad travel, motion and now apparently sea sickness!

We were in the deep end, singing away to the music being played. We swam around and then the waves started. They were quite big to be fair. There was one thing missing from this water park though – a Lazy River. One of my favourites. Who doesn't love sitting in a rubber ring, doing absolutely nothing, as it takes you down the 'river' around the park!?

We got out for some lunch. We had bought our own with us. Ham and mayo wraps with apples, crisps, cereal bars. Steve obviously went to have a look how much fish and chips was but it was something ridiculous like $20. I told him that it's going to be mega expensive at Theme Parks hence why I packed our own!

We sunbathed for a while afterwards, letting our lunch go down. We then decided to give the same rides, in the same order another go! 

We started again with the Hydro. The queues were so much longer now. I presume more people have turned up mid-afternoon. The weather forecast was cloudy and miserable but that's turned out to be wrong. How lucky are we?

We did the two rides on the same tower, ignoring the Wedgie again. We went straight over and did the three rides on the other tower again, too. Steve and I were worse off this time in regards to competitiveness when we went on The Bro. Steve was determined to win and I was even more determined to keep my winning streak!

I did win on The Bro again. The gold trophy remains mine. What also remains mine is a severely bruised elbow and a bashed up knee. Serves me right really. I literally launched myself down that slide like I was some sort of missile.

We went back to our chairs, checked the stuff and went into the wave pool. There were no waves for ages and we waited for them, for about 40 minutes. I said to Steve as soon as we get out, they would start... They did.

We dried ourselves off and decided to start packing up to head home. We were checking into a new camp ground and we were treating ourselves to a more expensive one. We were going all out with power and water. Woop woop!

We decided to stay at the Big 4. The Big 4's in Australia are quite well known and they're usually for big families. You find that in Australia, there are more motor homes on the road than cars!

Big 4's are big – obviously, with pools, camp kitchens, trampolines, kids parks and all sorts. They're very much like holiday parks. You would happily stay there for a long period of time and be well away with the facilities provided. Some though, are not up to standards that they usually give. They're boring and expensive for no reason. It would be good if they had wifi mind you. You'd think by charging $40 a night for 2 people is enough to provide good quality wifi. Apparently not.

We checked it and it was posh. The reception area was really nicely decorated. We were shown to our spot by a care taker who spoke so passionately about the Gold Coast Big 4. We only booked in for one night but he said he was positive we would book for another. We'll see, Brucey! (His name wasn't Bruce).

He showed us where all the good bits and bobs were – toilets, showers, swimming pool, koala walking track, where the kangaroo's would be etc. He was quite the asset to the company if you ask me. I was very pleased so far.

Steve suggested a walk around the grounds which was nice... Ish. I was tired, quite moany too actually. I wanted to sit, or lay, and do nothing. My usual wants though.

We walked around and he stopped to watch someone fish. How exciting. I was thrilled, kicking dust around. He eventually left and we walked back to our van. It was time to shower and get dinner going.

The showers were lovely. Really posh. We had a separate part to get dried in and hang our clothes up. It was amazing. Like, an actual door to stop everything getting soaked. That never happens?! We have never had such luxury on our way down the coast. I was in heaven and I didn't want to leave.

I got back to the van and Steve was already out of the shower cooking dinner. He was doing Alfredo sauce with chicken tortellini. The usual stuff that we have. We were both starving so dinner went down a treat. It got dark pretty quickly though so we didn't really get time to sit outside the van and chill as the sun set. We got our stuff in and sat in the van. We played a few games of cards, of course.

Just before I went to brush my teeth, I saw a dog walk in front of our van. Except, it wasn't a dog when I looked closely. It was a KOALA! There was a koala walking around our van! Oh my God! I was so excited. I screamed to Steve to look and we were staring at him. I was slightly worried though. When we went into the hospital, they said that if a koala is ever on the ground, they are most likely dehydrated looking for water.

I saw a bunch of kids chase after the koala – I wanted to scream at them! They were trying to film it on their Snapchats with their flash on. The poor thing was so scared, it ran up a tree that wasn't even a food tree. Once they all left, I filled up my cereal bowl with water and left it at the bottom of the tree. You know, just in case. I knew 100% that it wouldn't drink from it, but I'd rather it just be there, as an option.

We got ourselves ready for bed and laid down. I kept trying to look for the koala but it was too dark.

Tomorrow, we're off to the other half of the water park – the dry half! We're going to the theme park. I was so excited. Time for sleep!

[eastendbells]

An Emotional Journey To Work

Oh gross, why is it so cold and wet this morning. 

And why were there no parking spaces near the flat last night? I should have just parked across the driveway. But what if Mara was on the early shift at the hospital and needed to move the car at 5? That is not even worth thinking about. 

Great, another bird poo on the window. Should have some wipes here somewhere… 

Right, which way should I go? Guess it’s early enough to go down St. Michaels Hill. Please please please let there be no dustbin trucks. 

It’s really become light recently, I swear it was pitch black this time last week. I cannot wait for summer, for it not to be damp and cold and windy all the time. I can finally go for a bike ride on the Downs without wearing 20 layers. Maybe I can start cycling to work. I’d still need to get more confident though, especially around the Lawrence Hill roundabout. That is absolutely terrifying. I guess once you got onto the Bristol & Bath cycle path it would be fine, it’s just getting there that is the problem. 

Shall I risk it and hope no one is turning right? Yeah why not, better than sitting in that massive queue. I’ve really got to leave earlier, getting across and out of Bristol in the morning is such a nightmare. Better than living around the back of the Holiday Inn again. Getting up later and having a shorter commute versus having to hold my keys between my fingers when walking around even in broad daylight? No brainer really. 

Why does no one know where they are going? No Kita. No road rage this morning. 

Hmm, Monday morning… the motorway is miraculously clear for this time? Is there something going on that I don’t know about? Ha, some poor soul’s gone up the bus lane exit. Bad luck, you are definitely going to get a ticket. What is this song? 

Greg James, this is not your best Tune of the Week song you’ve ever had. 

What was that start? Can you even drive Kita? Actually, when is my service due? The display says oil change in 300 miles, when does that take me to? Like, June? 

Did I remember my breakfast? Ah man, my bread roll! Have to take a walk to Sainsburys at lunchtime. Have I got my umbrella? Why am I so useless today? At least I have my laptop. I think? 

It’s half term! That’s why there’s less traffic! This may actually be a new record – 22 minutes? Come on man, the light’s green, I want to set a new fastest time! 

They really should have barriers here, 7.10ish and the first half of the car park is already full. No one is in the office this time of the morning? It’s probably everyone who takes the bus from the Science Park opposite parking here. At least my usual spot’s free. Nice to see silver BMW and grey Vauxhall are already here as normal. So, keys, phone, bag and laptop. Got it. 

Why do I forget my badge every single time?

[banquetrecords]

A Word On Awards - given stars from Kingston for bringing stars to Kingston.

Some notes on the Kingston Business Awards...

For context, the Kingston Business Awards is the annual get together of the (largely town centre businesses) of the borough. There’s various categories to enter into, the form filling is pretty long, but it’s a therapeutic way to make you step back and look at the business over the past year, and where it’s going. We entered the Best Marketing & Social Media, and Best Independent Retailer categories.  I find the whole awards ceremony strange. And that’s not exclusive to these awards, I count Music Week, The Brits, anything where we’re trying to compare things which aren’t like for like. It’s quite a bit of cash which is hard to justify, but we got some tickets and put on our “black tie”. or as close as we could get. But it’s very much our vibe to play with the big boys knowing that this is really the only way you can get your voice heard.

I thought we had a good chance in the Marketing / Social Media one. I’m continually frustrated that certain entities (not just businesses) treat social media as an optional extra. Or marketing as the thing to think about towards street-date of a campaign. On a shop level, as a town level, and with council and other authorities we need to identity who needs to know as soon as we know what the product is. It can go further where sometimes we’ll identify the customer base first and then work out the product. I’m concerned that businesses forget that it doesnt matter how good your product is if no-one knows about it.  As a Robert Palmer classic was played on the PA, a man of the same name introduced and gave us the award of best in this field. I hoped to use the stage to talk about the importance of us all treating social media as an integral part of any campaign. it works for your bottom line, but also on enhancing the whole town and your part of your industry, I hope others can see how we do it, and how you just need to get on with it, and be responsive, and you can create and keep a customer base.

we just picked up the Marketing & Social Media award at Kingston Awards #KingstonCelebrates pic.twitter.com/I2lqED1YHl

— Banquet Records (@BanquetRecords) October 12, 2017

After eating a few potatoes, the next up was Independent Retailer. We’d won this a few years back so thought we had a chance. I had some lines ready but we didn’t get it - it went to Milano Barbers (if it wasn’t us, we’re glad it was them)). That night King Krule was playing New Slang down the road. A quite late notice gig, I knew the queue was gonna be a nightmare on what was a sold out show. And as much as I wanted to stay at the grandiose Raven’s Ait venue,I couldn’t not get to the show, and also I just wanted to see the gig too!  So I raced off down the Portsmouth Road Quietway and got to the venue in time to do some stuff, which might not have been done otherwise.   King Krule is unique and the crowd was unique. Loving every minute of the show, it’s everything New Slang’s about.  After a couple of tracks my phone started buzzing (nothing new there) that we’d picked up another award. But we were only nominated for two!? 

Turns out we’d been named “Business Of The Year”. We didn’t even consider that this was a possibility. Thank goodness we got those tickets and thank goodness it was only me that left to get back to New Slang. Mike, Claire and Jonnie were there to pick it up.   Obviously we love music. We love records and putting on gigs. But for the people who are most emotionally involved in the business, the business itself is also so very dear to us. So to be recognised like this is touching.

at the exact moment King Krule took to the stage at New Slang, we picked up the Business Of The Year award at the Kingston Business Awards. pic.twitter.com/bcKdbv5sUl

— Banquet Records (@BanquetRecords)

October 12, 2017

On the stage, Mike made the point that events like this shouldn’t be about one’s rankings in a competition, but more that we need to play our part in a cohesive, vibrant and progressive Kingston (I thought I was the politician!). He’s bang on it

And the final award of 2017 @KingstonAwards is #best business goes to..... @BanquetRecords @JonTolleyTweets CONGRATULATIONS!! pic.twitter.com/um0dClyTwb

— Kingston Chamber (@KingstonCOC)

October 12, 2017

I often feel after the highs of a great New Slang (which last night was) that’s is frustrating that there’s never time actually enjoy it. Friday is our busy day of the week, and today moreso with The Wedding Present and Wretch 32 playing for us. But it’s important that our wonderful music scene and Banquet’s place in it has been recognised both on a cultural and black/red level, by our fellow Kingstonians. There was quite some talk on the night on the London Borough Of Culture bid, and from others about what makes Kingston so special. But again music and music venues weren’t specifically mentioned. As the petition to retain a large music venue comes to council this Tuesday, the current climate of music events in Kingston is of uncertainty. It’s brilliant that the importance of Kingston music and our culture is beginning to be recognised. The challenge now is to get authorities to commit to protecting our music culture. And we’ll keep fighting that battle.

on Tuesday 17th Kingston Council debates the petition to retain a large live music venue. free event, all welcome https://t.co/dwjucfFeRw pic.twitter.com/LjOnc9dDTz

— J͇o͇n͇ ͇T͇o͇l͇l͇e͇y͇ (@JonTolleyTweets)

October 10, 2017

[thelifeoflorna]

~29/10/2019~ So last night we slept with our bedroom door open for the first time in years - massive trauma trigger. But Bella seemed so comfortable sleeping next to me on my bed so I left the door open so she could access her litter tray and water in the other room. I did have some strange dreams as a result, but not nightmares. She woke me up a bit in the night when she used her litter tray, but was glad she did use it straightaway! 🦄 Physically I was feeling quite poorly this morning - as always seems to be the case atm - cough really bad, sinuses have also felt a bit painful today, which always worries me as I developed sepsis from a sinus infection before 😥 Generally I feel okay during the day, but it might be because I'm used to just pushing on even if I'm unwell 😐 My chest really doesn't seem to be improving though... 🦄 Originally I was supposed to be seeing my niece and nephew in the morning then work in the afternoon, but work rang to ask if I could switch to late morning as afternoon group wasn't running. It was a bit of a rush getting out the house. PoTS deffo hasn't been great today - felt like I was heading for a faint a couple of times. Had to queue at the train station for my ticket because of half term busyness - missed my train by a few seconds. Got to work 5 mins late which parts were fretting over :/ First group had already started so was told to join the next, which was a good one - was about preparing for discharge so had a lot to contribute, but also a lot of notes to write up afterwards! 🦄 Getting home was physically a bit of a struggle. Also been having a bit of a post-work panic - just a bit of self-doubt creeping in and various parts worrying about various things. I put up a post on twitter about Bella which seems to have gained a lot of likes - for some reason that is making us feel a sense of pressure - worrying I won't be a good cat mum 🙈😥 🦄 #update #instablog #instadaily #mentalhealth #dissociativeidentitydisorder #cptsd #anxiety #depression #potsie #pots #dysautonomia #disability #chronicillness #creative #arttherapy #sicknotweak #selfdoubt #positivequotes #drawing #handlettering #rise #fall #glow #positivevibes #recovery https://www.instagram.com/p/B4N13qtpeXy/?igshid=1f0pzxw4oo699