#HP incorrect quotes

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

james: well, fuck.

sirius: *we'll

[melstinybrain]

sirius: hello, betrayer.

james: merlin, pads, i've been married to your brother for 25 years!

[percyweasleyapologist]

One of his coworkers: How many children do you have?

Percy: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

[loonyloopylupin96]

(Overheard in Gryffindor common room)

James: It's great. There were reams and reams of-

Sirius: You can never have too much Remus!

James: Go away. That's not what I said...

[lass-in-green]

Ron: It's over. We won.

Hermione and Harry: *gesticulate furiously, pointing at Voldemort behind his back*

Ron: No. We won. I'm not going to turn around to make sure of that. We won.

[theabsentmindedprofessor]

Scorpius: So what’s your type?

Rose: Not you

[pottermagiczz]

Sirius trying to teach lil Harry his name

Sirius: Harry, say Padfoot

Harry:

Sirius: C'mon lil guy, Pad-foot

Harry: Moo-ee

Sirius: No Harry, Pad-foot

Harry: MOO-EE

Sirius: You're one lil sh*t, aren't you?

Harry: Sh*t!

Sirius: F*CK! DON'T SAY THAT!

Remus, entering the room: Hey Harry, having fun?

Harry: F*ck! Sh*t!

Remus: ...

Remus, CaLmLy: WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT!?

Harry: Pad-foooo

[toujoursincorrect]

Sirius: *walks in on James and Regulus kissing*

Sirius: This is incest!

James: No it’s not.

Sirius: Yes it is, James!

Regulus: We’re not related.

Sirius: Oh, and that makes it OK, I suppose?

James: Well, it makes it not incest.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Harry: So the thing is, I’m kind of crushing on someone right now, but I’m afraid to tell you guys, because you’re not gonna like it

Hermione: Just say it, Harry, rip off the bandaid

Harry: It’s Malfoy

Ron: Put the bandaid back on

[incorrectquotesharrypotterv]

Y/n: I don’t really like people, but you’re okay, I guess.

Theo: I'm your boyfriend.

Y/n: Huh, so that's why.

Theo:

[teaformoony]

sirius: hey remus, are you awake?

remus: what

sirius: are you awake?

remus: who the fuck do you think just said ‘what’?

[melstinybrain]

*barty running frantically around hogwarts*

reg: *sees barty running towards him*

reg: barty, what's going on?

barty: reg, i need your advise.

reg: okay, what's up?

barty: i think i'm having a feeling.

reg: okay...?

barty: how do i make it stop?

[percyweasleyapologist]

Penny: *chokes on something*

Percy: Jeez, Penny, don't die on us.

Penny: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

[moondustinfj]

Mr. Evans *storming in* : You got three seconds to explain yourself Potter! First you got my Lily pregnant-

Regulus: You got Lily pregnant?!

James: WHO DID?!

Mr. Evans: YOU DID!

James: -yes. *turns to Regulus* Yes I did but it was just a one night thing before you and I got together, it meant nothing.

Mr. Evans: Oh really?! That's what my daughter means to you? Nothing?!

James: No, sir! She means a lot to me! I mean I care- I love Lily.

Regulus: What?!

James *whips his head around*: But not THAT way. I mean I'm not in love with her. I love her like a friend.

Mr. Evans: That's how you treat a friend? You get her in trouble and you refuse to marry her?!

James: Hey! I offered to marry her!

Regulus: Wha-

James *quickly turns back to him*: But I didn't want to.

Mr. Evans: And why not?! So you can spend your life with this minikin??

Regulus: MINIKIN?!-

James: Oh, I'm sorry. Regulus, Mr. Evans. Mr. Evans, Regulus.

Regulus: How could you keep this from me?

James: I was going to tell you but-

Mr. Evans: But what?! You think you can get what you want and dump him like you did Lily??

James: Hey, I did not dump Lily!

James *to Regulus*: NOR ARE WE STILL TOGETHER.

*the phone starts ringing*

James: oh can I- just..

Mr. Evans: *death stare*

James: -why don't we just let the machine get that?

*beep*

*Sirius on voicemail* : Hey, mate. Just a reminder, tomorrow night we're taking care of Remus' furry little problem. You know he needs your prongs or he gets extra sore the morning after. I'll pick you up at 8.

*beep*

Mr. Evans:

James: NO!

Regulus:

James: NO! NO NO NO! I-

Mr. Evans:

James: I need to lie down..

[narcissa97]

Death eater: we have your dad Harry: Which one? Death eater: What? Harry: Which dad? Death eater: Dark curly hair, looks tired... likes cats Harry: Oh that's regulus Harry: Yeah you don't have him, he has you Sirius: Lmao good luck

[hxuse-xf-black]

[Deathly Hallows] Hermione: Harry- Harry, sighing despondently: Ginny used to call me Harry. Ron: Because it's your fucking name.