#HOW DO I MAKE OCS WHAT DO I DO NOW
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came up with a guy(?). i think a sonic clone from the far future. I thought of a character with metal sonic's face, but who wears it as a mask.
#hhheheheheehehehe#HOW DO I MAKE OCS WHAT DO I DO NOW#sonic oc#gotta give them a name#ouough#sth#sonic the hedgehog#oc razor
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temperature dropped by 2 celcius today. its oficially autumn and im back to drawing old characters. and writing about miserable teenagers and their unsaid past
#it was a nice break now im back to rewriting migawki again because i really missed those characters#i also got a lot of inspo for how i can rewrite it and what story i can make with them#hopefully this time i wont give up as fast as i tend to do. i hope#i will also change the name of the project while rewriting bc now it reminds wveryone of my 2022 webtoon of the same name#rysowanie w nowym mieszkaniu jest napfawde ciezkie nie wiedzialem ze az tak nie potrafie rysowac w innych miejscach ktore nie sa domem#ale juz idzie mi coraz lepiej#udalo mi sie narysowac jedna cala rzecz wiec jest super#digital art#oc art#digital artist#oc#lou ocs#sory za moje fuckass pismo w ogole lepiej nie umiem
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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hijo de la luna
#okay FIRST off. song by mecano my friend said is soooo silver and it is. like. the story steers off his course but its still his song#SECOND. this isnt Actual hollow moon fanart but it is in my heart. ive reread ell's fic 3 times now and every time it kills me. KILLS#go read it. hollow moon by serenescribe. its a 40k oneshot of silver slowly but surely being moon snatched. its delicious#the tumblr crowd already knows how swagalicious ell is tho i dont need to sell it to u. the munchiest crunchiest writing ever. mwah#but yes. i want silver to be made of moondust. i want him to shimmer and glow white as snow i want him a MOON CHILD#also i do Not make OCs bc im not creative but i think his roommate is a vil fan and eats oatmeal and likes sil's birds#by proximity. doesnt care for animals otherwise. he also has a crush on silver he told me himself#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#if catríona suntails doesn't draw a dramatically lit background then what's the point#suntails
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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@ballcrusher74 BOO MF!!!!!!😈😈😈😈
#sensitive sense is very funny i could've written that better#but overall i went insANE in the past like what 20 hrs or so and made a nutcracker yaoi comic#people do NOT appreciate the amount of beautiful eye content you can draw with nutcrackers#not my oc (fencer)#ITS NOT GOING TO MAKE SENSE BUT IN DRAWING THE LAST PANEL THIS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MLP FANSONG PLAYED#AND NOW I CAN'T SEE THESE GUYS WITHOUT THINKING ABT IT N ITS FUCKING ME UP /POS/CONFUSED#Feed Me With Your Heart by Ponyphonic btw thats now how i imagine fencer sounding im so so sorry#on a last note i could not for the life of me figure out how i wanted Woodys jaw mechanism to look like#Fencer is more consistent just look at the pretty colors okay#lethal company#lethal company oc
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can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot
#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl#i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters#she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS#the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever#and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her#i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll#i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^(#ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3#sunnysidedraws#den's ocs tag#described#id in alt text#ocs#original character
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" just know that i'm always here for you, okay? "
i'm finally finishing up my s2 rewatch and getting to the 24th episode awoke a beast in me. so i wanted to make a fake screenshot based on some of their lore that takes place during that episode. i think they'd end up having a heart-to-heart moment since kuroba went through similar struggles after their grandfather's own hospitalization...
also have a bonus doodle bc i need to even out the balance between serious & goofy with these two.
#my urge to attempt writing a fic based on this is SO STRONG. even though i do not have a lot of experience w/ fic writing#buT GAAAA I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LAST TWO EPISODES AND KUROBA....#it's hard to put into words rn but god there's so much.....#like. kuroba trying to help out matsuyo behind the scenes since they sympathize with how hard things can be when i loved one ->#is in the hosptial due to something that could've been life threatening ( matsuzou's heart attack & chouji's hip + leg injury )#i also think they personally delivered some get-well flowers to matsuzou and checked up on him in the hospital#that's not even getting into everything that happens after the sextuplets die...#i won't go into it rn but there's a reason why matsuyo & matsuzou are very keen on kuroba marrying into the family#ALSO I FINALLY DREW A BACKGROUND AGAIN AFTER 50 YEARS#now ya'll have a lil insight on what the inside of kuroba's shop looks like hehe#hopefully my rambling is making sense rn. i hope it is 😭#osmt#yumematsu#osomatsu-san oc#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj draws
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evilution
#zeno's art#ocs#reassassination#dr rigor krankenstein#octavia krankenstein#i still need to go back and change all the tags ughhhhh#anyway just drawing them standing there for the 18 billionth time#iwant to fully understand their (specifcally krank's) designs#of course octavia is perfect and only recieved tiny changes#meanwhile with krank im trying to make him look a LOT more dishevelled#his old design didn't have much personality#but i tried to give more of a “don't care” feeling to his apperance (oversized coat + baggy pants + stupid slippers)#to show that he only cares about his work and his own appearance is unimportant#its also an irony because (mini spoiler) he cared a lot about his appearance in the past lol#i wont go into detail on that ;-)#well anyway he has a funky new hairstyle now#the top half of him is basically final. im just wrangling the outfit now#also i do not know how tall he should actually be#octavia is like 5 foot 6 and krank was originally 6 foot 3 but i want him to be kind of awkwardly tall#not like 7 foot tall just tall to the point where he towers over nearly everyone#kind of adds to his hunchbacked awkwardness#ah well anyway pleasepleasplease let me know what you GENUINELY think of the designs i want to hear HATE and CRITIQUE
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Bruce is actually really attractive, and I have enough reasoning to make a list
He's:
Tall (. Tall enough to hit his head on the vault doorframe)
Long-legged
Has a straight nose bridge
Has high cheekbones (more noticeable in 2nd pic below)
Has a strong jawline
Sharp eyes, but they aren't small (plus eyebags if you're into that)
Overall, he has strong, attractive facial features
Has broad, refined shoulders. You can tell he works out (or he did, when he was alive)
Even has a thick, muscly neck
He has MUSCLE. Is SCULPTED. NOICE. VERY NOICE. (nice arms. Nice shoulders. Nice neck. Nice legs. Nice butt-)
(There are actually panels where you can see some of his muscles. Other than those already shown here, he's got bricky thighs-
-and in the panels where we first get his name dropped, he's got those shoulder blades too-)
The one time we see him smile, and he actually has a scary one
Has small, kinda sharp pupils, and his eyes remind me of a cat. We only ever saw him tense or defensive, so his resting/listening face is really cute
Other than the physical appearance stuff, he also:
Takes shit without batting an eye (patience, knowing it's just how Kudo is, etc)
Kudo being all "Cut the crap Bruce and give it to me straight", after Bruce tests his blood and is rightfully Concerned because they just faced AFO
Put up with Kudo's experimenting and testing over Yoichi's transferable Factor
Did ya'll see the look on Kudo's face when he realized he had Yoichi's Factor/will? Kudo was going to start in nonsense and Bruce just dealt with that.
Also something I noticed when looking back at the images here; Bruce has bandages on his arms in the void. But not when he faced AFO in the sewers.
Were he and Kudo cutting their arms open in their experimenting over Yoichi's theory? Is this why Kudo has two gauntlets instead of his one? Why we never see his bare arms in the void? That he always keeps his arms down so there's no slip?
Is smart enough to run blood tests, plus has enough common sense to pick Shinomori as his successor
He picked a guy who avoids society, has an Ability to detect danger so he can always stay away from AFO, is also a coward so he's never going to go throw himself into danger, even without knowing instinctively he stands no chance, etc.
Meanwhile, Kudo chose Bruce, who he played Hot Potato Yoichi with; but he did also trust Bruce, and put the only pure combative Ability in OFA through Bruce.
These two made their choices based on what they valued and saw the Factor needed.
Is logical, analytical, and calm.
He tried advising Midoriya on their Abilities in One For All, especially his own.
Midoriya then tried ignoring him about using Fa Jin for the first time, but found he was right, thinking: "Dammit!! I had [Lady Nagant] right where I wanted her, but... ugh! The Third was right. My parallel Quirk processes are all screwed up!" (ch. 314).
Plus, when Midoriya fixed his processing mistakes, Bruce was analyzing the way he reached his new conclusion. Pure facts, no bias, very calm, just saying it as it was.
We never see him panic. When he's caught by surprise in the sewers by AFO, Kudo, and Yoichi's little bubble event, he immediately reacts. He doesn't falter, he just knows he has to do something right now.
Was more willing to listen than Kudo to Yoichi's beckon, and probably was just following Kudo's rejection of Midoriya
While we don't see Kudo's face, we see Bruce's eyes when Yoichi calls on his heroes. Bruce was more open and receptive, or at least more impacted.
Bruce was also the one to start talking, while Kudo just kept quiet.
He actually communicates a lot
When Yoichi called them to support Midoriya, Bruce started talking to paint a picture of why they thought the way they did, so Yoichi understood where they were coming from.
(Though he seems to beat about the bush sometimes, since Kudo spoke up to be direct on how they couldn't just put their trust in some starry-eyed teenager. Plus, when Kudo tells him to just tell him what's wrong [double Factors])
When Midoriya first used Fa Jin against Nagant, Bruce came out just to tell him he knew what he was trying, but that Midoriya wasn't ready; and Midoriya found he was right. Midoriya just didn't want to listen to him then.
He asks Kudo for clarification after finding Kudo had two Factors in him after the sewer incident ("Just to be sure, All For One didn't touch you, right?") Kudo knew him well enough to go "stop beating around the bush and tell me", so Bruce was probably gonna start with questions, theories, and trying to understand everything in general, before saying "yeah you have two Factors. Don't know why".
Is strong-willed and loyal.
He followed Kudo, even to death, carrying on the cause he started until it ended with him.
Plus, when talking about how AFO needs a strong will to override OFA's own, we first see Bruce, Kudo, and Yoichi.
AFO couldn't steal OFA because the will was too strong for him, and that was back during Banjo's time. Since Shinomori never actually tried opposing AFO and just hid, we can assume the first Three (Yoichi, Kudo, Bruce) already had an accumulation of strong willpower that made OFA un-stealable. Those three are a strong enough foundation, and the main wills, that the other users just become bonuses.
Kudo, also saying that Midoriya needs allies with the same will and drive as him... hey Kudo, you're talking about yourself and your old allies, aren't you? That's why you look at Yoichi and Bruce when you say this.
Not only is Bruce attractive, but he's got good character. THE END.
#yes this is a bruce appreciation post#am i biased? yes. am i right that he has these features? also yes.#hes actually a very attractive person. hes got all the right features for it#plus hes smart (some medical knowledge) is really loyal strong-willed and patient#he puts up with kudo SO much#from being bossed around to taking home yoichis brother to whatever the heck kudo made him do to figure out OFA's transfer properties.....#i didnt think much of bruce originally#then i started doing resistance fic stuff and now hes a fave#hes a little blorbo#that i throw in terrible situations for my own entertainment#used his scary smile for comedy purposes#like when he made a kid cry once. or when a meta child was afraid of him so they bit him#has patience to deal with kudo and co. but also. has enough bite to snark them. is how i like writing him#oh? background character? well lemme just *picks him up* EXPAND ON THAT-#fic stuff: he tries making a good impression on a girl and kudo is ruining it immediately#he doesnt know what to do because the two always banter#kudo: fuck you#oc: fuck me yourself you coward#he sees through a rose-lens that kudo is trying to rip off his face#appeciation kinda turned analysis in general#bruce#kudo#yoichi shigaraki#bnha#mha#spoilers#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#NOT YOICHIS BROTHER. i meant Yoichi / AFO's brother in a prev tag up there but theres too much tags i dont wanna rewrite to fix that#(image limit and tag limit)
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old drawings i found and enjoyed while looking for something else
#a doodley#i dont know what happened. some of these are from so little ago and i cant do em anymore#i used to take full color full body couple comms now i cant even draw oc self ship interactions anymore.#granted the comms werent that good either but ykwim i cant even do it for leisure anymore#and its also so weird when i look at my old stuff that i always have like. non linear improvement. it rises and falls all the time#thats not good! why cant i Keep what i learn! and why does Learning make my art worse when im trying to make it better....#its crazy seeing how well i could draw faces (sometimes) before i started studying faces. now they rarely look as good.#alas. once again i feel im the result of a non artist forcing their way to it ykwim#an equivalent of a land mammal trying to live underwater
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Finally back, with a lil more of Chill's Artist Admiration Sketchbook; making fanart for blogs I like :D
@kingspacebar
Accessoires and colours my beloved <3 <3 <3
#(The tags are gonna be a bit of an essay I apologize :P )#I only realized late that I was mixing the designs of different references that all had slightly diff accessoires#So I just decided to add them all#I always say I want to draw more bright colours because I love them so much and then I never do because I'm bad at colour palettes#I'm always super impressed with artists who can make them all work SO well together#With that out of the way OMG I LOVE THESE CHARACTER DESIGNS SO MUCH!!!!#Had to stop myself from going into the askbox multiple times to gush about them; because I wanted to wait until now#The colours are so good! AND THE CLOTHES!!! I wish I looked like that fr fr#I also just love the way the eyes and the faces look (you don't wanna know *how* often I changed the size/position of those eyes /lh)#Of course; rhythm games my beloved! Couldn't not include a little Osu! in the background#But srs going back to colours I had to compose myself multiple times while drawing this because I loved them so much#This character did smth to my brain /pos#(I forgot what Tumblr's tag limit is and I still have to add stuff so I'll stop here but aaaaaah)#no id#other's ocs#fursona#fanart#cw eyestrain#<- just in case; maybe I'm a bit over-careful with this tag lol#chill's art#chill's artist admiration sketchbook
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Re-design of my un-named Beetlejuice OC from back when I was thirteen
Original Reference under the cut:
#my art#beetlejuice#toonjuice#beetlejuice cartoon#beetlejuice fanart#beetlejuice movie#procreate#I don’t really make OC’s for fanwork anymore… but the ones I had when I was younger almost never got named 🥲#When I first made her I really really liked her- and her story was very self indulgent#Looking at it now is almost way too weird for me… (and honestly a little unintentionally homophobic???)#Basically she was one of the girls from Dante’s inferno… except she got kicked out because she only had attraction to girls#(This was BEFORE I suspected that I was a lesbian— mind you.)#Yeah but anyway she went to the Deetz/Maitland house looking for a place to stay but drove everybody crazy#She was super flamboyant- loved everything pink n fluffy- and was well meaning but did more harm than good trying to do nice things for the#She had this one sided crush on Delia??? Like musical Beej and Adam except less perverted and more flirty/sappy? I was an odd kid- okay? 🥲#Anyway… the old design didn’t really do much to show off her personality… so I ended up upheaving the whole thing#It was okay for what I knew at the time- but I know what I was trying to say then and now I have the knowledge to say it better#Also— the reason I gave her horns here is so silly.#When I was younger I was in a Christian school where I wasn’t allowed to draw witches-ghosts-demons-etc.#So even though I based her on the Dante girls… I refused to give her horns because I thought that was ‘too sinful’#I even remember having so much guilt while looking for references of the Dante workers#I couldn’t even look for more than five seconds!#Anyways… she really pushed the boundaries for me at the time and it’s fun to see how I’ve changed and grown since then.
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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here's the prick i was talking about^ i have so many thoughts and notes about him but they're mostly incomprehensible so when i organize maybe them i'll post them who knows
#art#oc#id in alt#um ummm#idk. if you have any questions as always feel free to ask#ANYWAYS. geez making him has been so fun i love this asshole so much i'm going to put him through the horrors#salute to you Kordian if you see this if you hadn't shown me stalker i probably wouldn't be running in circles about patches now#more notes. i actually have no idea how magic works in-universe i just thought it would be cool. he's not good at using it he sucks. he's#shocked himself so many times probably. will that stop him? no#he practiced fencing for a few years so he actually like. knows how the fight flows or whatever. i think he definitely picks out targets wh#don't get their bearings quite as well and dances around them and shit like that he just likes to be mean i guess#idk idk. also he joins the lovelies at one point. that's like. semi-canon. it's sorta like with triumphant and normal walenty to me. like#they both exist but the. so to speak. evil one kind of doesn't in a way if you get me. i mostly thought it would be a fun thing to think#about. and also patches would do that and then he'd freak out like what the fuck am i doing and leave#another random thing about his pronouns. well i mostly use he/him for him. that 'any' is more in a way that if you referred to patches as#she or they or it or anything else he wouldn't care#but he usually doesn't mention it and stuff
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And thus, with the passing of 24 hours, Caeru's ambition truly comes to an end. Major Nemesis spoilers below the cut- we're talking endgame ambition business here. Mostly on a character RP front.
The Doomed Scientist made quite a few... choice decisions, in the end. Killing Cups once and for all, recording his story as one of grief-
And sparing what little remained of Mr Mirrors, leaving it free to roam Parabola as it sees fit.
Some of them, he can explain. Others, he's still left to feel... discontent.
Cups needed to die. That much was certain from the start. It was a tyrant, as all Masters are, and complicit in the bargaining and eventual destruction of four (potentially five) cities, as all Masters are. It was an obstacle. A murderer. A petty monster that felt no remorse even on its deathbed, and it went out of its way to ruin multiple lives just because it felt owed its own sick and twisted idea of revenge.
It killed his first love. It looked him in the eyes and he knew what it had done and he knew from the start it was going to die.
Perhaps, in the end, it knew too. And yet it still pleaded, and wanted to live, and-
It made a bargain.
A bargain Caeru didn't take.
Not because he didn't want to. Gods, he wanted to. He wanted it. He wanted it more than anything else in the world. To have Greylu back, to give him the gift of life, of love, to show him the wonders of the Neath and the beauty of the correspondence and all of the people Caeru has met and loved and found home with along the way-
But. He couldn't.
Because Cups was a monster. And no matter what, it deserved to die. And he could not, in good conscience, allow it to live.
Even if sparing it meant everything he's ever wanted.
So he's left here, now. With a bloodied traveling coat, and a bloodsoaked knife, and a favor finally fulfilled.
And nothing to live for. No resurrected lover, no charming visits to Helicon, no slow dances in the living room, no memories to rebuild and lives to live and he won't live again-
Nothing. All he has is a coat born of obligation, not to his love, but to people he's never even met. To lives he's never even touched. To a paramour, still alive, with hair of rose-pink, who doesn't even remember her own brother's existence.
Cups didn't die for Caeru's sake. Cups died for the sake of all who wanted it dead. For the revenger's court, and the ghost screaming in his ear, and the reckoning that will not be postponed indefinitely.
And Caeru, who acted as a tool to carry out their wills? Who all but betrayed his own lover, just to satisfy a cause he never knew existed?
All Caeru is left with, is regret. Regret-
-And grief.
#yin-thoughts#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#nemesis spoilers#so! nemesis huh!#i have. a lot of thoughts#overall i think heart's desire remains closest to my heart#but that's almost certainly bc of the obvious ''you always remember your first'' bias#there's a lot of problems with nemesis that have been talked to death by other people way more eloquently than i could ever express#(the big notable stopgates littered throughout. the weird pacing at the end. the fact you never meet your actual nemesis til the finale)#but overall i still liked it a lot!! i loved it actually!!! it singlehandedly made me like cups as a master!!!!#not because of anything nemesis actually DID mind you. i just really liked making up things about it#in place of nemesis. actually featuring it.#which could either be a plus or a minus against the ambition depending on what angle you look at it from#but. yeah. i'd say i enjoyed it. i enjoyed it a whole bunch#and now that ive played 2 out of the 4 ambitions and my FL hyperfixation evidently isnt letting up#it's safe to say we're all here for the long haul#tune in (insert miscellaneous time in the future) for when i finally after like a year and a quarter#get to find out what the fuck truly goes down in light fingers#and also keep an eye out for that caeru-centric fic ive been unsubtly alluding to and still need to write.#ive got a whole outline for it and it's. well#you'll all see when (if?) i finish it#i have some ideas abt how i wanna play around with the nemesis endings + what they mean to caeru#(and i do mean endings as in both of them)#and it all may seem. insane. when we get there#but i swear i have a direction plotted in my head#i swear#scoundrelventures#<- the scoundrel isnt mentioned At All in this post but that works as a general FL oc lore tag
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