#HOW ARE WE FEELING LADS ARE WE DOING GOOD BC. HOLY SHIT

[sk8thereki]

We got that werewolf/vampire dynamic now come get y’alls FOOD

[luna-loveboop]

I started playing Wind Waker! Y'all want some thoughts?

-Why is the first thing I learned how to do with Link crawling on the ground like a sneaky sneak?

-Why is the SECOND thing I figured out how to do Link sidling along a wall like a sneaky sneak?

This kid is a sneaky sneak sneak!!!!

-Why is Link instantly jumping on people's tables? Get down please sir

-Wind and his family are so sweet I love them so much- and Aryll got kidnapped noooo TT

-Tetra has shot Link from a catapult

**I'm just gonna keep editing this post and adding random thoughts as I go does that sound cool? I wanna do that @hero-of-the-wolf

-Tetra's winking at Link has my heart forever she's so cute I swear

-love the glowy blue talking rock btw yesss stalker pirate girl

-Link why do you yell so loud every time you jump this is a sneak mission I thought you'd be good at this

-the game grumps on YouTube saved my life tho bc im a coward and get way too nervous in places like the forsaken fortress and watching someone else swear through the area before I do it helps ok

-Wind is such a gremlin but he's actually so polite? Like he instantly bowed to the sword trainer and then to the guy on windfall island after paying for breaking his pots- before running out of the house at breakneck speed. He's such a sweet and polite boy you can tell he's grandmas kid- yet he's such a menace what a wild yet polite lad ridndkkfkdg

-the people of windfall island are way too judgy stop being condescending to Link he's my baby. 'The Tipsters' girls have my heart tho because they.. they... well they give you tips. Tip you off you could say

-I think the King of Red Lions just legally adopted Link

Ok so small rant section but this game is so tragic. Like the art style is so goofy and fun but it hits you so hard that these are KIDS. Link is freaking twelve and his sister was kidnapped on his birthday, leaving him to follow in hot clothes because of higher defence I'm guessing (new hero clothes are more suitable for an adventure than casual loose ones but still!). But he's literally like half the height of DOORKNOBS- he has to stand on his tiptoes anytime to open doors. He is so very small.

My mom was like 'I love this animation style - does it help with your nerves that it's lighter?' And I was like 'honestly it makes me feel more deeply the tragedy of what should be a happy childhood being torn apart' but she's used to me saying weird shit like that so it's fine

-I think we as a fandom are severely underestimating how much of a gremlin Wind waker link can be and that's saying a LOT

-I got the Wind Waker!

-WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CONTROL DONT YOU LECTURE ME ON RHYTHM IM LITERALLY A MUSICIAN WHAT THE HECK

-K learned the Wind Waker

-Ok I like got to dragon roost island on the first day and FINALLY got an empty bottle my beautiful baby where were you??

-I cleaned- like actually fully dusted and cleaned- my wii u for the first time after it was inactive for years and holy mother of improved game pad controls

-is it wierd that I'm more excited about the empty bottle than the wind waker?

. . . .

-ya know in hindsight gabon looked pretty shady. I mean he was standing in the shade but what kind of asshole stands there and tells a giant bird to throw a child in the ocean

-I think ganodonk is dumb I can't wait to get the sword and bitch slap him

-'we cANt set SaiL aGain Until you geT a GLowY thiNgy' well mr boat man sir have you considered that I realised there was most definitely a heart piece or two I forgot on windfall island and I'm doing another dungeon with three hearts? At least I got a bottle ig

-why am I trading with rats for potions this doesn't seem hygienic. I know rats are in fact very clean animals but this dungeons isn't and why do the rats want rupees anyways?

-WAIT WHY CAN LINK TALK TO RATS

-so there's this like steamy glowy pot that teleports me to the start/end of the dungeon? I'm questioning all existence in this world why is that a thing. Honestly think Twilight princess's bald teleportation chicken made more sense but whatever

. . . .

-I saved the dragon! By riding on his tail? What a boss fight that was fun. Got a shiny thingy Yayy

-So the wind waker! I learned to change the direction of the wind which is so cool and also to change whether it's night or day. Which is wayyy too much power for this kid how come no one told me he could change night and day?

-That said I love how musical Link is. Like when he looks so happy waving the baton playing to the wind it's just really cool

- Why is the God of Wind a like. Toad surfer dude. Whatever, I like him.

-So apperently there's these little dudes called fish-men who are talking fish who fill out your sea chart- I am still questioning why link can talk to animals but that's fine

-I missed out on pawprint isle before apparently, so I'm gonna do that before whatever the red lion king tells me next

-Also I love Beedle in this game so far he hasn't threatened me like the other beedles in games I've played

. . . .

-I GOT MY SECOND EMPTY BOTTLE

-Sailing through the ocean is really fun

-I went back to windfall and got a 'swift sail' that lets me go faster but I still like the blue one better

-I reached the great deku tree! He had monsters for pimples and I couldn't figure out how to get them off 'what are you doing?!?! go help him!!' IM TRYING ADOPTIVE BOAT FATHER. Turns out I needed to roll into him and not use the grappling hook which makes sense but still

-He. Grew me a leaf. A magic blowy leaf. Which is great it's an awesome gift and means a lot but the Deku tree grunted and grew a leaf for me and that's kinda wierd right?

-Reaching said leaf was a PAIN and I am very impressed with Wind Waker Link.

Hang on rant session. Bro's tiny little grandmas boy but flipping through the air to reach an unspeakably high up leaf is chill. He flipped through leafy child cannons a billion times to reach the Deku leaf and didn't get dizzy or give up even after falling. And that's saying nothing of how he picked up a sword for the first time and swings his way through EVERYTHING thrown at him. Gosh he's so cool I love this Link

-I HAVE MAGIC NOW!!!!! With like a little meter and stuff tidkkfdjfnkdjfkd I'm very excited that I have magic

-Reaching this high shelf with my path forward was a pain but I have to save and quit rn so if it puts me back at the start of this room I will be. Upset.

-It put me back at the start of the room.

-I ordered a game guide! I'm gonna try and play through with it- this'll be my first time using one. But I haven't updated for a few days bc I'm waiting on it :)

This whole post is a bunch of random thoughts jumping around which my adhd self appreciates- that said I really love that we can grab an enemies weapon and use it against them. Increases my respect for ww Link even more- when he had no weapon in the forsaken fortress he grabs a literal wooden stick from an enemy and kills it with. A big twig. Kid's brutal and does what it takes which is so crazy. Also using an enemies sword is great hehe shiny

. . . .

-Got game guide. Yayyyy

-The forbidden woods are scary but they remind me a lot of the forest temple in twilight princess. A lot. The mechanics are also very similar. I love Zelda games

-Maybe it's because the only time I've had free to play rn has been at night, but I find myself constantly thinking this game is creepy. It's so unsettling for a cartoon style- the boko babas freaking eat link! And chew on him like no!! Fisnfjskfkfk *shudder* aaaanyways I am NOT looking forward to redeads in this game but that's a later problem right?

-I figured out how to get the treasure chests from the sea!! And got a piece of heart :DDD

-Ok game guides are really helpful

-Apparently the 'warp pots' are a consistent thing- I guess that's just how Link teleports in dungeons in this game. The second pot is generally hidden a bit but then you can teleport to the beginning of the dungeon and back- then the third pot is near the end... I think. This is only my second dungeon in this game with the pots but it's going great! I'm learning a lot hehe

-I love the grappling hook so much. I can farm spoils/materials from monsters with it before I kill them and I love that. Also it makes me feel cool swinging it.

-WDYM I CAN GET FREE BLUE POTIONS FROM A KOROK USING EASILY ATTAINABLE (with the grappling hook) MATERIALS FROM BOKO BABAS THIS IS JOY THIS IS LOVE IT GIVES ME HEALTH A N D MAGIC FJDKFJFK

-Also the title screen theme and animation play around outset is very satisfying. Watched it replay three times tonight before starting the game. Time well spent.

-I appreciate the items so much. The Deku Leaf is great like I can F L Y with magic and also blow wind at enemies and make them look silly <3

-The look of Link's spoils bag has grown on me and I love it. Purple.

. . . .

-I got the boomerang!!! Oh my gosh it's so cool I love it.

-I've been trying out the switch mechanic for targeting rather than hold. It's going interestingly bc I've only ever held for targeting before. But I think I like it

-The evil flower ate Makar- the Korok I'm TRYING to save GIVE HIM BACK

-That was the prettiest boss fight ever. I couldn't even be intimidated, I don't think I've ever been more relaxed during a boss fight lol. They should make all of them purple and blue sparkly- it was legitimately beautiful.

-I finished the forbidden forest dungeon!! :DD yayyy

-Link's hopping up and down in celebration after the boss fight was so cute he's so happy!!

-Have I mentioned I'm excited about the boomerang

-Makar is so cute?!?! I love him with his little violin and- the Koroks oh my heart that was the cutest ceremony ever

. . . .

-Ok so I went around the great sea, for now avoiding the big octos I am uhh terrified interested to meet, went to a place that got 'corrupted by gannorks power' so now I'm following the pirates back to windfall island

-The pirates are stealing bombs and I think this is illegal.

-My girl Tetra's here!! :D also doing illegal stuff! And Link is just watching them rob the bomb shop lol these cutscenes are the best sometimes also I love the pirate banter

-Tetras little smile and wink when she saw Link was so cute I love her. Also the little hints that she was concerned about his island and not just treasure?? Sweet

-I stole the bombs that the pirates stole from the pirates. And getting there was a PAIN with swinging on the ropes the tiny pirate (Niko) made Link do

-TETRA is a STALKER she was watching Link through the glowy rock thingy- probably cause he was just sneaking around watching her rob a shop but still that thing scares me sometimes when her voice just comes screaming out of it

-Btw why do the pirates want the god pearl thingy anyways? Just cause it's really shiny orrr

-ok we're headed to outset! I'm so excited to get back to Link's home hehe. Also I think Tetra just dared Link to a race bc she was like 'we'll get there first we still have bombs' so yeah anyways she's spending the night here tho so I'm sure it'll be fine.

-I don't like the great sea as much when it's raining and thunderstorming all over :/ I hope it doesn't stay like this? Because that would suck

-I got sucked into a cyclone and was panicking cause it threw me across the great sea BUT then it threw me onto outset!! :D so that was uhh. Handy I guess.

-Ohhh ok so like. time is frozen from ganad's current curse, which means it's gonna stay night for right now, so tetra won't be coming in time to get the treasure from the god dude first. Nice.

-The Lion King just kindly told Link to visit his family and chill for a second and check on his island?? Sobbing yes thank you sir

-Grandma's sick oh no this is the saddest thing I've ever seen ima cry. I healed her with a fairy but she was so sad link and aryll were gone im- and then grandma blamed herself for not being there for them like no it's literally cold and rainy all the time it's frozen right now you have every right to get sick- and then she made Link soup and she'll remake it for him which is great and I LOVE LINKS GRANDMA SO MUCH it was so sad she was sick I'm glad I could heal her :))

-Link smiled and nodded so enthusiastically when Grandma told him to stay out of trouble/stay safe like Link you are a liar I just watched you steal from pirates

-I sparred with Orca and I like him. It's cool how he trains Link on his home Island with like formal training because Link definitely needs it with what he's facing

-Controlled a seagull for the first time. That was fun they can fly for such a long time like. Forever?? Idk I eventually stopped

. . . .

-Ok so I talked wait no. The king of red lions talked with this guy who's a god named Jabun (I think that's how it's spelled I'll check) and he gave us a THIRD glowy thingy. I'll give more thoughts on that conversation later I gotta look up the translation. The sea is back to being sunny :))

-I spent a bit just sailing around. I need to place the shiny pearl thingies from the gods in special places marked on the map to 'reveal the place where my courage will be tested' or whatever

-I have found several great fairies and gotten my rupees and wallets upgraded twice. I like the fairies in this game.

-I FOUGHT A BIG OCTO I'M SO PROUD

-it was scary.

-But my magic meter has been doubled!!! :D *slaps wind waker link* this bad boy can fit so much magic and blessings inside of him

-I've placed two of the fancy shiny orbs. Its wierd... I put them in old looking statues and they glow. That's fine I guess.

-the fishmen are my best friends. Kind of. Every square on the map I go to one is there and they'll give me lil hints and tips while they fill out my map. Nice guys.

-beedle sent me a beedle chart! :D which. Is a map of where his shop appears so handy!

-there's these maps called 'treasure charts' everywhere that mark places in the sea with rings of glowing light that I can bring up treasure from. Generally a purple rupee but a lot of times other things :)

-there's this one square with beedles shop ship that has an empty bottle and heart piece and treasure chart for sale 00 I got the empty bottle immediately ofc (now I have three!!) and saved up the money and got the rest :) it was all like. Five to nine hundred rupees each yeesh

-Link sure does rely on maps and charts a lot in this game

. . . .

-THE GODS JUST FURKIN YEETED LINK ACROSS THE BIG BLUE OCEAN WHAT THE SHELL WAS THAT

?!?!?!?!

Ok (storytime) so I was placing the last pearl of the gods that I've been collecting in the ancient statue and a cutscene starts right?

So Link places Farore's pearl and the ancient statue starts glowing. and Link kinda startles and runs away, but then he comes back and the statue EXPLODES with light and Link goes FLYING like Farore just bitch slapped Link with power across the ocean WHY?!?!

And so you have this big dramatic cutscene where the ancient statues become really pretty and form a map of the triforce on the ocean and a big freaking TOWER comes rising out of the water and it's really cool- and then at the end Link SPLATS INTO THE FREAKING TOWER AFTER BEING SENT FLYING INTO IT LIKE GIVE THE KID A BREAK ALREADY

Of all the things I was expecting in wind waker, a cutscene of Link being sent hurtling across the world to slam face first into the literal 'tower of the gods' was not it. like forget a concussion how is Link ALIVE?!?!

-k so anyways. I'm good. Wasn't expecting that. This 'tower of the gods' is the place the King of red lions keeps telling Link he'll be tested/have to prove himself to the gods as a hero or something

-Oooo this dungeon seems cool so far! Riding in, it's just risen out of the ocean, so I'm entering the dungeon on my boat dad

-so it's like we can do it together! Not really, but King Red is how I get around the first bit at least. It's crazy how Link doesn't have a companion for in dungeons. Boat dude has just been dropping Link off at dungeons like a kid at school.

-So the tides come in and out of this dungeon. The floor will be filled with water when it's up and I'm only able to walk when tide is low and the waters gone. This is dangerous because Link, although he can survive being yeeted across the sea, can in fact drown.

-also I've just realised I haven't died so far in this game yet!! Go me :D

[trashlie]

(FP 235 spoilers ‼️) "if you won't let me have you" 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️💥💥💥💥💥 *car brakes screeching* *glass shattering* *explosions* *sirens going off* *cats meowing dogs barking* *more explosions* MISS YOO MA'AM did you seriously just say that... do you even hear yourself..... maya was gagged we were all completely gagged i actually have no words. there is nothing to say. except for thank you maya and hopefully that bite doesn't leave a mark gfhsdgjfk

shinae about dieter: so nice :) so comforting :) teddy bear :) shinae about nol: HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST YOU FUCKER I WILL KILL YOUU

also alyssa? is shinae.. jealous bc he's with alyssa? is it that unbearable that he's hers and not yours?? even tho the relationship is fake??? oh my god she really is down so so soooo bad. not that it's surprising it's just different to actually see it yk. listen i knew she'd match nol's energy/intensity (bc mirrors and all) but i was NOT expecting her to hit the ceiling like that and be *this* fiery. but i absolutely love it.

just had to get it off my chest because GSHADGSHJGK i'm sure u understand <3 -lil anon 😼

oh. it's insecurity too isn't it. bc now she's subconsciously comparing herself to alyssa. pretty, talented, successful alyssa and ;A; babygirl don't go there... 💔 i've actually been wondering if/how shinae's insecurities and low self-esteem would play into this, remember how she said she didn't understand why dieter would even like her. AAAAAH :(( at least hopefully she'll remember what he said about this "relationship" last night. AHHHHHHH. ok sorry for the spam i'm gonna go lie face down in the sea now byee -lil anon 😼

LIL ANOOOOOOOOOOOOON

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHRIEKS AND SWINGS FROM THE RAFTERS

Honestly you sum it up SO WELL i will NEVER be able to top it so honestly hats off to you Lil Anon you get it YOU GET IT YOU GET IT SCREAMS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GET IT THIS IS HAPPENING?!

IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU?!

IF I?

CAN'T?

HAVE?

YOU?????????????? MISS MA'AM DO YOU /HEAR/ YOURSELF OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T SHE'S FULLY FERAL, TO words are coming out of her mouth without thought she is NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY ONLY RAGE RAGE RAGE AGAINSTTHE LAD

I CANNOT HANDLE THE LEVEL OF MIRRORIN THEY ARE DOING LIKE holy SHIT simultaneously figuring this out, HER ENTIRE REALIZATION MIRRORING HIS!!!!!!!!!! the same feral fucking energy lmao the next time she sees him.......... alfjafkakfjjkafjkafkakjfajkf someone NEEDS to hold her back she is SOOOOOOOOOOO DOWN BAD SOOOOOOOOOOO BAD OH MY GOD LAFKJAKJFJAFKAFJK

Someone recently messaged me with a question from quim's curiouscat that had asked if anyone in ILY is possessive and BOY FUCKIN HOWDY DID SHINAE GIVE US HER ANSWER HUH?! GODDDDDDDD

I think it's both jealousy and insecurity, though. Jealousy because SHE can't have him but ALYSSA can? EVEN THOUGH SHE JUST LEARNED THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS FAKE IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING HE DOESN'T FEEL THAT WAY. But in that moment, as Minhyuk basically describes all the things Alyssa is - she's good looking and talented, look at that body, she's famous now, she's got what she wanted - everything Shinae ISN'T. And like WE know that NONE of that means anything to Nol, that it's instead all the things Shinae is that Alyssa isn't - compassionate, empathetic, grounded, the way SHE sees Nol.

But in that moment she just feels so pale next to Alyssa, what could he EVER see in her and SHE DOESN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT IS. SHE'S SO JEALOUS AND GETS SO ROCKED BY IT THAT SHE /LEAVES WITHOUT EATING/!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She wants him SO badly - wants to see him, all of him!!!!!!!!! And Alyssa gets something she doesn't?!

But yes I also very much think it's the insecurity. She's not thinking rationally here or she'd remember what he told her about Alyssa and instead the part of her that knows, the part of her that's been acting on this, what's between them, sees how she stacks up against Alyssa and how, at face value, she can't stand against her!

I'm hoping that maybe getting some sleep will bring back the pragmatic side of her brain but hey, if she has to... charge in to Nol's room this evening after she wakes up and confront him in order to be reminded then HEY BE MY GUEST SHINAE. GO AHEAD ALFJKAKFJFAKJAFKJAFKAKFJJAKFJKAFJKAF LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ngl there's a part of me that SO BADLY wants and NEEEEEEEDS Shinae to have a moment of jealousy that slips out, the whole "if I can't have you" the "she gets to?" something that makes him remind her that Alyssa has none of him, that she never has, and that if anyone has him it's HER IT'S SHINAE THE ONE STANDING RIGHT THERE THE ONE WHO TOOK HIS HEART WHEN HE WAS LOOKING THE ONE WHO'S ROCKED HIS WHOLE WORLD.

Have you ever stopped to really consider the fact that like.... Nol just woke up from NEARLY FUCKING DYING and the first thing he does is realizes "OH MY GOD I HAVE FEELINGS FOR SHINAE" lmfao like. DUDE ALMOST DIED AND HE'S JUST HAVING AN AWAKENING OVER HERE LMAO

They're both going through ALL the stages of puberty in one go (don't think I missed those smutty mangas I HAVE EYES) and it's SO FUNNY. The moodiness, the irritability, incapable of handling their too big emotions, denial, embarrassment, the "I DON'T HAVE TIME TO HAVE FEELINGS".

Shinae's gonna roll up to Nol's room like I'M HERE TO RETURN EVERYTHING YOU STOLE FROM ME but THERE'S ONE THING HE STOLE THAT HE CAN'T RETURN SHINAE NANNER NANNER NANNER THAT'S HIS HEART NOW

/SHRIEKS

Maya really was us she really got up to bat and hit it home for us. "I like this part" BITCH YOU SAID IT, WE DO, TOO. It was SO meta, sooooo good. "MY BOY PROBLEMS ARE REAL, HELP ME!" absolutely BROKE ME. One day Shinae is trying to pretend she doesn't care what people say behind her back and suddenly she is yakking poor Maya's ear off about a boy who IS SO CLEARLY STUPIDLY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR HER AFKLKJAFKJAFKJAFKJAFJLKAFJKAFKJAFJKAJKFAJFK

the way she just. LOOKED at Shinae and KEPT WATCHING HER rant and rave SHE IS US AND SHE DID THIS FOR US HURRAH also yes i hope ur feral cat Shinae bite mark heals fine lkjfkjafkjafkafkj LMAO

[the-acid-pear]

Alright gamers let's finish this rewatch‼️

I just realized Jim has a sibling we haven't met yet. Tons of potential if he's still alive.

Maybe controversial but I feel like Jim and Olu's relationship is so weak. Lucius and Pete aren't that deep either tho but y'know .

I love how Izzy sounds like a teen complaining about her crush meeting some1 else

Buttons tiny ass cheeks my beloveds

Oh I dislike this episode too 👎

But I like the importance Buttons has in it

I like how Jim is mostly a they but sometimes they throw in a He

Love that Jim put on the fucking white beard to be a priest man 😭

Didn't think I'd get to make the Ed Kramer joke again but we literally got another Non-Murderer lmao

I love that the Swede kept his two missing tooths so cute I love consistency

Roach irreparable hip damage

Jgjfyfufhbhnhnhn I love big women and little fellas

I love his perky little tits god. Thank God no one is reading this haha 👍

One of the few scenes where Buttons lowered his chin . . . Actually heartbreaking

Can't wait to see how many lies Ed tells bc he already said he didn't have friends and that he didn't kill ppl.

I FORGOT BUTTONS HAS A REAL NAME AND THAT IS NATHANIEL GOD I LOVE THIS MAN

Oh I forgot this twist. Somehow.

I love how in his mourning buttons refused to clothe up again

OhhehheelgigogOLIVIAAAAA

And here comes the chaaaain

Best episode ending tbh. 2 to go.

"the ushe"

I forgot his surname was Teach

NOOOOO IZZY VENDIDO A LA CORONA NOOO TE FUISTE A LA MIERDA LOCO

It's so funny bc he literally didn't even do it that's so silly

They made the king so hot 🫣

It's always so heartwarming when they show they love their captain ESP BUTTONS I LOVE THAT BUTTONS CARES KISSING YOUR CHEEK BUTTONS ILY

Haha I cheated it's tomorrow rn

I get this man I too would go insane in this situation

Izzy my man what are YOU doing.

I love when Stede drops the goofy accent and gets serious

Ed loves zigzagging between hurr hurr I'm a nasty pirate and I want a normal life 😍

Oh the fucking foreshadowing he was already thinking of making some poor bloke eat his toes that's so good

Where's the kiss copypasta. Bring it back ! !

Man. Man I hate this. Can't wait to see season 2 save it bc rn I'll throw up 👍😎👍👍

OLU CAP'N ❗❗❗❗

That death is eternally so funny

HAAAAAAANK

Why on earth didn't Stede go back good god idiot fuck

I find it so cruel how they wrote their kids to hate Stede he never was a bad dad c'mon

Ed... 😭 song goes hard but EDDD....... 😭😭😭

Buttons I want you

Subtitles described a sound as sucking teeth very good wording

Izzy you're such a fsggot holy shit

Stede why don't you kill yourself?

AVALANCHE BY COHEN WOUEIORHENEHYEE I LOVE THAAAAAT

The bad cgi gets me every fucking time it looks like this google 3D models

He learnt from hiiim :')

ROACH TEAMING UP TO TRY EAT SWEDE WHDGDNHEEJ 😭😭😭😭

Alright WE MADE IT LADS onto the real thing now, finally 🙏

Glad I rewatched tho I didn't remember SHIT

Rewatch liveblog. On a single post. Because we already did this once. Ok?

I forgot how silly this show was I also forgot how Buttons sounded somehow. Also why is Swede hanging up there come down baby

I feel like I dislike Stede more than I originally did

Buttons king I cannot catch a word you're saying ❤️

How much did I change in a year?

Buttons I fucking Adore you so much holy shit

God his silly ahh wig on the dinner table, obsessed

Also Swede standing up still holding the tea cup confused... Autism icon. To me.

Wait was that Buttons help god am I still unable to tell my babygirls apart after all this time???? 😭

Based Jim.

This IS the pilot but I love how much attention Swede got around this time and ASLO how tough he was

BUTTONS CRINGEFAIL MOMENT ❤️

Hungry bitch ily

Swede was even excited about torturing hostages amaizing

HE'S GETTING BEATEN BY WEE JOHN these men are incredible

Mirá como se agrandó el ladope

BUTTONS YOU'RE AN AUTISM ICON TO ME TOO.

I forgot Jim uses male pronouns in Spanish even before formerly coming out that's really cool

Wait how does Buttons know about Nessie? 😭

I actually adore Black Pete

I'mlisinin

Wouldn't it be hilarious if this show actually had a downer ending w everyone dead?

Lucius is so me

Oh this episode is so boring

I heard there's a bloke who for one quid more plays w your balls or whatever the post said

"well, not terribly successful ones" that's so fucking funny still

I should get attached to Jackie fast too she's soon to be my gf in law

Not too hard q how hot she is

He growled ❤️

Oh Izzy is so.

Jackie making me legs go cold !

I forgot Jim kissed Lucius

Jim doesn't even look feminine idk why they're instantly like ah she's a woman! Like they look like some bloke idk. Like imagine Lucius shaved his sideburns and they were like LUCIUS IS A WOMAN?? like it's the same to me.

Rip Stede btw idc lol

Never really cared about Ed appearing but let's just roll w it.

I'll finish this show tomorrow for sure

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 6~

shen qiao: bro why did u poison me? :) yu ai: lol what?? POISON?? whaaaat??? no waaayyy, i would NEVER!!! here drink something i prepared with my poisoner hands pls shen qiao: 🎶MAYBE I SHOULDN'T SAYS CÚNLA!🎶 past!yu ai: yes…..YES! DRINK IT!! DRINK THE POISON BOOZE!! BAHAHAHAHAAHAAAA >:D past!shen qiao: bby bro ilu, actually ur just as good as i am, so u look after everything for me, ok?? if i die u take over my position and everything will be great, i trust u with my whole heart :) :) :) past!yu ai: ….....uh-oh ngl yu ai has a really cute face??? actually i might…..i might think he's a teeny tiny bit cuter than shen qiao?? I DON'T LIKE HIM MORE!! but idk i feel like….maybe they fussed with shen qiao's face a bit TOO much and got a weird effect? (i say this as someone who often fusses too much over my drawings' faces and ends up with a weird effect ;A; it's a curse 😔) NOOO SHEN QIAO DON'T GET SICKER!! poor bby sorry i criticised ur appearance so much ;A; awww he doesn't want to be bros anymore ;A; i find it interesting how he's willing to be forgiving of strangers, but not his former bro. not that the former bro really deserves it, bc he's being awful ;A; but its interesting to me, how different ppl approach betrayal!! I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT U SHEN QIAO. TELL ME UR SECRETS PLS. yan wushi is so relatable lol. he watches all this and goes 'what an idiot!' and it doesn't even matter who he's referring to, bc he's right lmao shen qiao poor bby ;A; he cough so much ;A; someone get my mans a glass of water ;A; HOLY SHIT YU AI JUST ATTACKED HIM WTF???!!!!! DID DID HE CALL HIM A-QIAO AS WELL?? WHAT A RUDE JERK!! THAT IS UR SHIXIONG, U BRAT!! >:V yu ai: 'i don't want u to leave!' *makes shen qiao spit blood* 'i don't want to hurt u!! come on bro, just stay here with meeeee uwu' ITS THE OLD MAN! HE'S HERE!! aww he help shen qiao up ;A; so cute ;A; uh sir u need to learn to take 'no' for an answe--OK NVM HE'S JUST WHISKING SHEN QIAO AWAY BY THE WAIST ONCE MORE THAT'S FINE. I GUESS yan wushi, king of evils??? LMAO more like king of dramatic hoes 'the evil gang' ….idk what i expected it to be called really DID HE JUST DID HE SLAP YU AI FOR CALLING SHEN QIAO 'A-QIAO'????? THATS AMAZING a bit hypocritical BUT STILL AMAZING AND HILARIOUS DO IT AGAIN!! DO IT AGAIN!! he's such a badass omg ;A; also he has such great accessories!! such good taste in fashion rly!! lol now it's yu ai's turn to spit blood!! serves u right for being a jerk smh lol i LOVE these random side characters who just look like normal ppl in comparison to these bishounen pretty boys. 10/10 artistic choice oh we've met a new friend! yuanchun! hello sir!! he's quite handsome, even if his spine is made of jam SHEN QIAO WILL U WHIST I CAN'T HEAR THEM OVER UR INNER MONOLOGUE yws: i'm gonna help u, then hurt u, then help u again, then ruin ur day and make u cry >:) shen qiao: …….. :( get me out of here pls :( yws: *evil laughs triumphantly* i just want everyone to know that every time yan wushi evil laughs, i laugh too🤣 'YOU SHAMELESS GUUUUYYYYY!!!!!!' amazing oh ok we're we're just gonna fight now. ok cool fellas, is it gay to touch fingertips with ur bro while wreathed in spiritual energy?? GHOST SWORDS!! i do love these pretty sequences with all the martial arts…..stuff lol. i wish i were clever enough to describe it but. just know that it's all very spiritual and neat ;A; aww shen qiao is so cool ;A; ilu my lad! ur a good boi!! WH SSIR SIR WHY ARE U GRABBING HIS FACE LIKE THAT WHOOOAAA UR GETTING REAL CLOSE TO HIM THERE SIR oh i see, the devil whispering in ur ear is actually yan wushi trying to make u be his wife, it all makes sense now!! yws: A-QIAO COME BE EVIL WITH ME. IT'LL BE FUN A-QIAO I PROMISE. WE CAN BE EVIL TOGETHER A-QIAO. I WILL BE THE EVIL HUSBAND AND U CAN BE MY EVIL WIFE A-QIAO. ARE U THE ONE FOR ME A-QIAO??? I THINK U ARE THE ONE A-QIAO. A-QIAO the old man moves fast, not like he's got unlimited time left i guess OH MY GOD HE'S LITERALLY CARRYING HIM AWAY LIKE A BRIDE in summation:

✨THESE BITCHES GAY✨

[moon-ursidae]

TBOBF FINALE SPOILERS

-HERE WE FUCKIN GO LADS

-i think i’m gonna shit my pants i’m so hype

-oh shit the aftermath

-WHERE IS MAX REBO

-AND GARSA?????

-HEYYYYYY DIN DJARINNNNNNNN

-ope financial disputes

-“when he arrives…” girl IF he arrives

-i’ll laugh so hard if they just fuckin shrug and walk out

-CAD BANE CAD BANE CAD BANE

-BSBSKABSKABAKSBKABSKSBSK

-PYKES AND THE MAYOR????? AYO???

-WHAT THE FUCK

-how the fuck do they know they’re gonna be in the sanctuary ruins

-“in the name of honor” i’m scared

-aHskansksbksnskd XWING

-LUKE BACK ON TATOOINE???? IN MOS EISLEY????

-KABSKAVAKSBSKSBKABSKSBS

-WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

-PELIIIIIIIII YEA

-GROGUUUUUUUUUUU

-AHHHHHHHHHHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHA

-wait what the fuck where is luke

-OHHHHH R2 took him there i’m dumb

-HE CHOSE MANDO FUCK YEAAAAAA

-or did he??? what the fuck am i saying of course he did

-SHE SAID IT SHE SAID GROGU

-HE DID CHOOSE MANDOOOOOOO

-YENSBDBDBHDJBDB I’M SCREECHING

-“baby’s gotta eat” DAMN RIGHT

- peli knows the way to grogu’s heart

-DIN IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY

-fennec is so hot

-both of em w the leg up? HOT AND SEXY

-i’m still not over these speeders

-QUICK REFLEXES HOT

-OKDBDHHDHDBBXHXHX

-CADE AND BOBA FACE OFF?????

-my money is on fennec and din sorry but not really💅🏻

-oh shit he’s goin for the low blow w his tribe

-fennec knows shit’s gonna go down

-OH FUCK IS THIS GONNA HAPPEN??

-WAIT IS COBB ACTUALLY DEAD????

-yeaaaa fennec

-“we all do” i fuckin love that shit he accepts it bc it’s okay to be badass AND soft

-oh shit??

-IT’S A TRAP

-KRRSANTAN IS ON HIS OWN SOMEONE HELP HIM OUT PLEASE

- i have a bad feeling about this….

-NOT THE GAMORREANS

-YEA FENNEC SO HOT SO SEXY

-SOMEONE HELP KRRSANTAN PLEASE BRO

-FENNEC IS SO HOT DUDE

-i’m so scared ya’ll i want everyone to come out of this alive

-“i’m with you until we both fall” WITH THE MUSIC IN THE BACK AHHHHH

-“we’ll both die in the name of honor” DIN PLEASE SIR GROGU IS ON PLANET PLZ BE CAREFUL

-“this is the way” with the fuckin armorer hammer sound after it AHHHHHHHHHH the score is phenomenal

-“if i may offer an alternative” PFFFFF I’M WEAK

-he was really about to storm out there guns blazing

-this twi is gonna die as soon as he steps out

-oh shit

-YEAAAAAA BOBA

-AND DIN????

-JETPACK DUO HOLY FUCKKKKKK

-THIS IS SO SICK

-GUYS PLEASE GET BACK INSIDE

-FREETOWN PEEPS HELL YEAAAAA

-THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD

-IS COBB OKAY THO?

-IS HE ACTUALLY FUCKING DEAD?????

-omg wait you can see through the visor hehehe lil peek

-all the reinforcements comin in fuck yea

-KRRSANTAN IS OKAY FUCK YEAAAAAAAAA

-WAIT IS HE THOUGH????

-OMG PLEASE

-din and boba know this shit ain’t over

-WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE????

-this is some video game shit

-“we got reaall problems”

-HOLY FUCK THEY’RE LIKE THE DROIDS FROM THE PREQUELS…BUT SO MUCH FUCKIN BIGGER

-i’m scared this isn’t gonna go well

-like i know din is gonna be okay bc s3 but i’m still worried

-DARKSABER TIME BABYYYYYY YEAAAA

-this is the loudest i’ve heard din speak literally ever oh my god

-DIN PLEASE BE CAREFUL

-KRRSANTAN ALSO BE CAREFUL

-PELIIII PLEASE

-the way he literally fucking screamed for her to turn around he’s being so loud this ep i like it

-THE WAY HE JUMPED ON YEAAAAA

-OH MY GOD REUNION

-GROGU J U M P E D INTO HIS ARMS

-STOPPPPPP

-DIN IS SO HAPPY

-HE GOT SO SOFT SO FASTTTTTTT

-OH MY GOD

-PLEEAAASSSEEEEEE

-“you got the shirt.” JSBSHHDHHDHDHEJHEHS

-HE CAUGHT HIM MID AIRRR

-THE RANCORRRRRRRRRRRRR

-OH MY GOD YEAAAAAAAAAA

-THE FAN ART WAS TRUEEE

-HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS THE MOST EPIC SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN

-YEAAAAA DIN

-GROGU WHAT YOU DOIN DAWG

-GOGURT??

-YEAAAAAAA SAVE UR DAD AGAIN

-damn he’s hella smart

-“do it” IMMEDIATE FUCKING CARNAGE

-OH MY GOD

-THIS IS LIKE THE MOST EPIC SEQUENCE OF STAR WARS I’VE EVER WITNESSED

-i would very much like to see drash and jo together more

-PLEASE DON’T KILL THE RANCOR I WILL BE SO UPSET

-THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING CARNAGE THAT IS THIS EPISODE IS FUCKING INSANE

-GODDAMN

-YEAAAAAA PELI

-WILHELM SCREAMMMMM

-he cheemp he chomp

-oh shit cad bane

-PLEASE DON’T HURT THE RANCOR

-oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

-quit hittin his soft spot my guy

-cade bane is always lookin to duel someone

-YEAAAAAAAAAA USIN TUSKEN WEAPONS AGAINST HIM HAHAHA

-DID HE JUST FUCKIN KILL CAD BANE??

-oh shit boba COME GET YO FUCKIN DOG BRUH

-damn this king kong reboot looks great

-THE BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

-OH MY GOD DIN?????

-“your old man’s crafty” INDEED HE IS

-HELMET??? COMIN OFF???

-DIN GET UP

-IT’S LIKE THE MUDHORN ALL OVER AGAIN OH MY GOD

-EVEN THE SAME SCORE PLAYING AHHHH

-FUCK YEA GROGU LET’S GO

-they grow up so fast🥺

-naptime

-HE SNUGGLED IN TOWARD THE RANCOR🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

-fennec is about to wreck ass

-DUDE THE FUCKIN CARNAGE THIS EP??

-awwwwww wait this is so cute ppl actually see him as daimyo now

-the music is so cute

-THE MEILOORUN FRUIT

-YEAA THE MANDO MUSIC MIXED IN

-CHILLS

-wait so are they alluding that din is gonna help run tatooine? they played his music after she said that?? and that happened at the end of ep4 👀

-PLEASE TELL ME HE’S IN THE GODDAMN DROID PORT

-YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

-OMG THE TAPPING ON THE GLASS I CAN’T

-“no.” *tap tap* “nuh huh” *more angry tapping* “no.” *even more angry tapping* “alright”

-literally father and son this is fantastic

-THEN HITTING THE THRUSTERS

- OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD

-POST CREDS HERE WE GO

-I FUCKIN KNEW HE WAS ALIVVEEEEEE YEAAAA BABY

-THUNDERCATTTTTTTT AHHH

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YA’LL. that was fucking insane. incredible. holy fucking shit. i’m gonna need like 6 months to recover from that. goddamn. so epic. so much happened. fuckin hell. i HAVE to rewatch that later. jesus christ. what a time to be alive, and a star wars fan. JESUS CHRIST. what the fuck do i do now????

[jiminrings]

Can I request a drabble, hobi is kinda like a band singer and Y/N is like his old time friend and they like had a falling out bc he got super successful but years after they're like together again? IS IT TOO SPECIFIC UHM :")

parallel

pairing: hoseok x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: hobi’s kind of an asshole and is vERY much emotionally repressed, y/n’s serotonin is dependent on wearing bridesmaid gowns, the dwindling one-sided pining anD the everlasting question of where the fuck was hoseok when you needed him :D // gif is from pinterest!

notes: this drabble really hits close to home and tysm for the request babe!! even if i’m a month late yeesh :O

you can’t believe yourself either when you say it

but holy shit — weddings are definitely your thing!

there’s something about the union of marriage that gets your head into overdrive but in a gOOD way

there’s just something so pulling about last-minute changes and family drama and awkward trips to the restroom that make your mind mHMMMM THIS IS IT CHIEF

yea granted that not every wedding you go and participate in isn’t exactly straight out of a rom-com

lmao sometimes it’s so obvious that the bride doesn’T love the groom but hey!!! who’s keeping tabs :D

you love wedding environments so much that here you are, two years out of uni and a couple of gigs later — couples are LITERALLY fighting over you

heh not to brag but uh

you weren’t recognized as best wedding planner for two years in a row and have your face in multiple covers of bridal magazines and such

time magazine recognized you as one of the most influential people in the scene last year but hey !!!!! no big deal lads

“i am asking you for just one minute, y/n!! stop being a wedding planner and start being my maid of honor!!”

nayeon exasperates and tugs you by your sleeve, having already noticed your second nature of taking charge the moment you entered the hall

after all, this is just cake tasting! that’s why she’s brought her maid of honor to help her out, nOT immediately go fishing for a clipboard

“well if the planner you hired wasn’t so sloppy-...” it’s a fact! he relies too much on his tablet and doesn’t even have any paper with him, and even if he’s already using a tablet, he doesn’t even use different colors to mark out!

apparently nayeon can’t handle the truth because she’s stamping her hand to your mouth that’s already a frown, about to suffocate you if only you didn’t bite it

>:|

y/n - 1 | jisoo’s hand - 0

you’re just a lil bit cranky alright

the last wedding you’ve catered to was just three days ago, and well you’re thankful for your job!!! really!!! bc not everyone is as booked as you nor sought-for

but there’s something about her wedding that puts you off :((

she’s very kindly yet firmly told you that no, you would absolutely not be her wedding planner and coordinator

“b-but i-“

“i want you to relax! and it’s-...”

“we said-“

“we said when we were kids that we’d plan each other’s wedding, but we didn’t swear on it! and i want you to-...”

“y-you told-“

“i told you that we didn’t have a wedding planner yet so you’d intentionally clear your schedule for me! and here we are-...”

“i’ll cry-“

“aww you big baby, save it for the wedding! i told you, just relax, m’kay? let yoongi handle the planning, and you do the unwinding.”

goddamn yoongi

yoongi who’s a wedding planner in his sPARE time could fuck right off

you don’t care if he’s very persuasive and firm and happened to book nayeon’s wedding even it was peak season :((

you don’t wanna admit it, but being a wedding planner has basically been your personality trait for the past years and it’s hard to cope when your job is to not.... plan and worry

anyways besides that

you’re a little iffy because nayeon’s wedding is your wake-up call

you’ve been planning weddings.... but uh when the FUCK is yours

u are so tempted to put a sock over your head and just yell gIVE ME A RING!!! PUT IT IN THE BAG

unfortunately, you don’t even have someone in your life to readily propose to you

you would have had someone, actually —

if only hoseok didn’t wake up one day and decide to remove you from his life

if only your childhood friend didn’t suddenly decide that you’re not worthy of his attention and time!!!

god he thinks he’s a bigshot

and well yea ok he IS a bigshot

who doesn’t know jung hoseok at this point :((

you’ve always figured that he’d be successful at whatever path he chooses and for a moment, you feel sorry for him that he’s stuck in such a state of mundaneness

he’s stuck between home and school and since he has no choice — you

your each other’s day one!!! the moment your mom went home from the hospital, her first instinct was to knock on hoseok’s mom’s door and then iMMEDIATELY present you to her

the two of them are absolute best friends and why not make our babies the same way ya know????

the two of you were apparently so close as babies that when one was crying, the other would comfort

and you weren’t even a year old then????

you’ve shared cribs and milk bottles and clothes and everything in between with hobi

so why is it that when you’re just almost at the peak of your life with graduation, he just suddenly decides to drop you?

he’s suddenly too cool for you as if he hasn’t spent countless nights crying on your shoulder for any inconveniece that gets brought up

he can’t even meet your eyes :(((

that’s why graduation is the blandest and emptiest day you could recall

hoseok is over there with his bandmates looking the absolute hAPPIEST and you’re there by the corner.,.,. alone by yourself feeling like your cap has the words dropped by jung hoseok :D all over it

he’s at his peak and at the top of his life performing and touring, whenever and wherever

he’s happy

but without you in it :(

the irrational (and probably rational) part in your head is beyond infuriated at him because atleast offer an explanation!!! if you did wrong at one point, then he should tell you!!!

not suddenly pretend that you were nEVER in his life

even his mom feels guilty and ashamed over his son’s actions so she orders flowers from the shop signed underneath your company, then send it back to you

for awhile she tried to pretend that it was hoseok but no :((( that man will physically convulse if he doesn’t add (atleast) three hearts after his name

you hate him so much that you still religiously visit his instagram and wonder if he could see your likes despite a couple other million liking the same posts

you hate him so much that he’s number one on every single thing in your spotify wrapped 

you hate him sO much that you wonder who’s behind the songs his band plays and how you’d wish that you’d be the one he’s writing about

“is the cake that... perfect?”

nayeon gently places a hand on your shoulder to which you flinch and she backs off because christ i’m nOT taking the cake away from you!!!

oh my god why are you tearing up

“yeah, yeah! it’s so good. you should try it nayeon!” you’re scrambling to scrape up your plate, almost shoving the fork into her mouth as she squeals with the sudden attack

yoongi has ???? hovering around his head but this is nOT about you my man

he sneaks a look to the bride’s plate and uh-huh... yup..... she has the same moist chocolate fudge cake with coffee ganache on her alright

the topic of hoseok that you bring up to yourself, one that no one knows (not even nayeon!!!), is just something that never seems to vacate your mind fully

it’s been two years and you’re still so touchy and you dON’T KNOW WHY

he probably doesn’t even think about you when he’s drunk and bored

“this champagne must be so... nice?”

nayeon thinks out loud as you’re once again crying into doing your maid of honor duties

she’s a lil worried if she’s being honest but you always whisk her away when she’s about to ask

like right now :D

“are you-...”

“i just can’t believe you’re getting married!! wow, you’re so cool. with the love of your life. then the two of you could be cool together after the wedding. you aren’t gonna forget me once you’re married, are you? nayeon do you think that i would ever be married-...”

you should just accept it now :((

you’re a little bit of a mess and a half underneath your pantsuits and walkie-talkies and the special pride you’d carry whenever the couple mentions you in their wedding speeches

absolutely WHY in the hell do you think about hoseok when it comes to weddings???

it’s almost a pavlovian response when you instruct the people to open the doors and the bride to start walking and your mind would iNSTANTLY think about him

it’s sometimes awkward when the couple would ask ah !!!! ms. y/n u are such a world-renowned wedding planner !!!! your own wedding must’ve been magnificent :D

aha actually about dat.,.,

you get tons of gifts of gratitude from just a single client alone and you don’t have hoseok and his stupidly powerful arms to help carry boxes back to your car

you don’t have him to give untouched and left-over flowers to

you don’t have him to remind you when you’re getting a little ahead of yourself over just talking to sponsors and trying to squeeze in as much as you could for an initial budge

you don’t have hoseok, in all his glory, to put his hand on the small of your back when you’re talking to how you need the fireworks to start the moment the band starts playing ice ice baby and the vendor does nOT need to know why it’s the song chosen by the couple

it’s what he’d do when you’re trying to fit two semesters’ worth of notes into a pricey A3 notebook that you’ve bought 

and just how many weddings do you plan and coordinate, even within just a span of two week?

:)

a lot.

often.

you think about hoseok a lot. often. oftenly a lot.

but aha nOT TODAY!!!

today’s nayeon’s wedding and you’re not gonna ruin it for her by projecting your yearning into your best friend’s wedding that clearly isn’t yours

10/10 she’d probably stop reciting her vows to ask you why you’re sniffling

your only source of distraction is your gown!!!

your maid of honor is the absolute pRETTIEST and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel gorgeous in it

it’s floor-length silk!!! fLOOR-LENGTH !! SILK !! GOWN

it’s in a deep mauve with an off-shoulder situation and a little risqué bit of cleavage!!! cinches right at the top of your waist and poofs a little and oh my god mayhaps you aRE pretty

god hoseok may have not written you a song, but sean kingston dEFINITELY did

nayeon knew you’d be catching everyone’s attention as much as her wedding dress would and she’s absolutely happy and fine with it!! 

in fact she’s strategically practiced her throws for her bouquet so you’d catch it and your gown would nOt go to waste

having a wedding happen right where you are, but being in it as a guest instead of a planner, is just so much... calmer

you’re not fixing the chaos but you’re just watching it!!! if you feel a little more bubbly then you’re gonna partake in it hee-hee

yoongi’s actually not so bad

he could just be a little too lax which ends up with him being lost and distraught 

you could see so much of you in him when you were just starting out and it’s endearing actually

(( nayeon’s told you in passing that she once told yoongi that you were her best friend and he looked both intimidated and awed at the same time ))

the only thing you help yoongi with is sending him a thumbs-up every now and then and he perks uP because that’s the signal that he’s doing a good job and not fucking up

nayeon looks so beautiful and you’re already tearing up fixing her veil :((

you know how wedding photographers and videographers LOVE people crying???? they r probably eating your shit up so quick that you won’t be surprised if you take up atleast half of the same-day edit of their wedding film

there’s something so serene about the hecticness everyone’s indulged themselves in

you’re grinning when you walk down the aisle because you realize that omg you haven’t doNE this in a long time!!! 

the last time you did was testing out the aisle for a client that wanted it ala crazy rich asians and you had to walk back and forth cOLD-ASS water with damp rolled-up pant cuffs before they got the temperature and the levels right

nah you should definitely know how it’d be because after all :D you aRE the consultant for that scene in crazy rich asians :D no biggie :D

it’s such a serene blast to see everyone happy and in their element

you’re sitting the reception out bc yoongi very kindly pleaded to please give him notes and promising that he’d never tell it to anyone else

the whole planning process for nayeon and not oNCE did he bring a notebook..,., but he just hAPPENS to have one when you’re telling him how to say no to your client

“listen, you have to tell them in the sincerest way possible, that you tried everything. it gets them going when you tell them that you even pleaded with the vendors, but don’t go too low on your knees, alright? and then after that, you say a strict no. no, because their choice of flowers is absolutely sHIT for their tie-dye theme they’re so adamant about!”

yoongi has never listened so intently

not even when his roommate lists out their grocery checklist

“mhmm. and if they still push, should i give them an ultimatum? or tell them about a wedding that totally happened that did exactly what they were planning, and how much the guests hated it?”

okay nOW he’s talking

“what you do is...”

the buzz of the reception never really dies down because it’s barely even starting!! the couple’s still finishing up on their pictorial which gives everyone time to get to the venue and freshen up or get last-minute gifts lmao

you know that it’s starting when the band or the dj starts doing polished mic checks

mic check! one, two, three! sKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRA

no, no 

there’s something definitely wrong

the rolling and the lull of routine words just seem so familiar

mic check! J-A-Y! H-O-P-E! J-HOPE! jung-...

oh

my

fucking

gOD

that’s hoseok.

that is most dEFINITELY hoseok

you turn your back to see the stage set-up and god...... fuck

it’s someone you haven’t seen in the flesh for two years yet spent the years of your life with before that 

he looks sickening in his black mandarin-collared suit with thick white lining on it wITH his hair styled up and parted to the site

it’s even more sickening for you because you don’t actually know if you can mANAGE to be here

you’re standing up abruptly and yoongi squawks at that because he is the furthesT thing from being finished about asking how to make the guests arrive on time without holding a field trip assembly-like type of line with the megaphone

the fastest way out was dashing through the front part and you must have forgotten that hoseok has a knack for catching things with his perfectly good eyesight

“y/n?” 

ok what now

he mumbles your name to the mic, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes trail the speed-walking speck of mauve from in front of him 

his little question to himself must have gotten people more than curious

they’re already mORE than curious because it’s his goddamn band that’s playing!!!! and the fees are not cheap and it’s practically impossible to book them!!!

but jungkook, their drummer, was a close friend of the groom’s and alright.,.,. okay maybe we CAN play at weddings now

ok hoseok’s mind is probably just playing tricks on him and he should finish setting up before the lights dim again for what they insist is the 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓯𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻

but then he can’t help but look oNE last time

then he sees the watch he’s gifted you on his wrist — one that he was supposed to give you at graduation but later made his mom give it to you instead and not say that it was from him

...

....

whew he might need his inhaler for this one and he doesn’t even hAVE asthma

oh my god what the hELL is hoseok doing here????

you haven’t seen him for two years, and the moment you do, it’s in your best friend’s wedding with no date present??

you’re clearly panicking and the only form of caffeine you’ve gotten is the pre-game of getting a few bites from the coffee ganache in nayeon’s wedding cake that she was munching on while getting her makeup done

you know what!! it’s fine

it’s totally fine :D

hoseok is just hoseok and you’re not gonna be intimated by the man you’ve been loving in the sidelines from practically your whole life :D

it’s not a big deal!

besides, people are looking for you bc you’re supposed to give the opening toast to welcome nayeon and her groom in

you’re walking, you’re talking, aaaaaaaand-

yeah this is not nOT a big deal

you’re crumbling from the inside out because seeing hoseok is just too painful after two years of wondering where you could’ve went wrong and what could’ve happened if the two of you didn’t fall out

you feel especially bitter when hoseok starts singing their famous song about love and everything in between

everyone’s sWOONING and on their feet and you’re literally just there vibrating with how furious you are

you keep downing the good champagne as iF it’s gonna get you drunk

yoongi has a clue that the server must be a little dizzy having to go and back forth to your table so he just offers his portion to you

you’re so goddamn busy and absorbed with loathing him that you don’t even turn your back to notice that his eyes keep flickering to you

even at the cheesiest lyric, hobi expects that you’d atleast LOOK at him for that one but nOOOO your champagne flute and the blondie beside you is just much more interesting

you’re buzzing with anger that you aren’t enjoying this reception At All

you fail to even recognize that nayeon’s intentionally had your favorite food to be served!!! and you have an extra portion delivered to your table!!!

you just want your suffering to eND wow absolutely how much longer could this go

you’re so busy with cussing the whole ordeal in your head that you didn’t even notice how the band isn’t playing anymore and instead everyone’s swooning over the cake

it’s lost in you that hoseok’s shooed yoongi from his chair, sitting right beside you and even scooting closer until his knees bump to your own

and that’s when it sinks in

hobi doesn’t even have time to tell you how beautiful you look because you’ve gone straight to seething him

“for the record, i want you to know that i hate you.”

...

:O

okay hoseok didn’t expect that

for all he knows, the two of you even vOWED to never say the h word even if it’s meant jokingly!!

it’s a lethal word and the two of you collectively agreed to never play with it in regards to saying to one another

but well here you are

you’re saying it as if you’ve never been more sure of anything in your whole life

you feel actually relieved to say it to him right to his face, a miniscule weight lifted from your shoulders while your arms are crossed just by looking at him

hoseok does you one better with a timid chuckle, looking down on his rings that he’s fiddling with nervously

“yeah. i hate me too.”

.... oh

you’re perplexed at his reply so much so that you’re speechless

you’ve been keeping to yourself what you should say to him the moment you see him for two years and now that he agrees to what you’ve just said.,.,.,

oh fuck that

“i hate you so much, hoseok! i don’t even know what i did wrong and i asked even your own mother what’s wrong with me! did you know that you are, without a doubt, so fucking selfish???”

you exclaim as quietly as you could but that doesn’t stop people from glancing because the two most-known people in the room, besides the bride and groom, are having what seems to be an... intimate conversation with how close the two of you are??

“did you even try once to consider how painful it was for me to wonder why i just am the way that i am? or is that even too big of an inconveniece for you to think about because you’re so busy?”

“did you suddenly get too big for me, huh?” you ask straightly without malice, not even thinking about the double meaning because clearly, you’re too PRESSED lightly jabbing your finger to his chest

right he deserves that

hoseok’s fucked up big-time, that much he knows

his eyes are actually stinging right now and he would ask you for your handkerchief that you used to always carry for him but uH he thinks he doesn’t deserve any of that

“why couldn’t you just tell me what was in your mind? you know that nothing would change whatever it was that-”

“i love you, okay?”

hoseok interrupts you with his mumble before he sets his eyes down once again on your watch

you’re speechless for long this time

“..... w-what?”

okay maybe he fucked up even more

“listen i-...”

“if you love me, a single text wouldn’t have hurt, hobi!!”

your chest doesn’t hurt anymore but it iS constricting with the amount of emotions and scenarios you’re trying to process

he’s kinda lost because oh my god you aren’t mAD anymore!!

and you don’t look fazed that he just declared his love for you

“i dropped you because i-i — i don’t want the people i love seeing me fuck up, y’know? i finished uni for the sake of it, and i didn’t even know if the band thing would work out!!”

“but baby it dID work out!!!!”

jesus christ hoseok may be a fucking iDIOT

you’re shaking him by the shoulders and he actually has to stand up so he wouldn’t fall by your ministrations

you feel so happy because your processing was just about to be finished, equal parts relieved and happy and maybe a tiny bit confused still

“it did work out because look at you now!! hobi, you could’ve just called me and i would’ve accepted the call before it even rings!!” you’re happily frustrated with him that you push him until the two of you are in the dance floor, his mouth curving up both in disbelief and giddiness

“i didn’t because i thought-...”

he’s interrupted by a swift and tight hug to his middle, his arms moving on their own to envelope you in his warmth

the top of your head still smells the same :D

his purpose is lost before he gathers his bearings once again, freezing in his stance before weakly attempting to push you off

“... you were married.”

the harsh sQUINT of your eyes you’re giving him prompt him to explain

why is he so nervous

“i-i go to your instagram? and well you uh, you posted this pic of you in the middle of the aisle???? you had your back turned and your silhouette’s seen then you were holding a bouquet!!! then after that, i-i never opened your account. jesus christ, is your husband here with you, y/n? what am i supposed to-...”

the realization’s starting to sink into hoseok because it’s something he’s shoved to the back of his head and now he’s seeing it straight-on

you’re throwing your head back laughing at him :D

great

now he’s both heartbroken AND a fool

there’s a gentle kiss on his cheek, one he didn’t expect and one he doesn’t hate

“i’m a wedding planner.”

god now this is just so fucking funny

the two of you fell out and remained distanced because of just a series of unprecedented miscommunications!!! 

the whole thing is so ridiculous that it actually feels light and relieving to talk about

“you’re.... a wedding planner,” he mumbles once again for confirmation, his loose arms around your waist now tightening

oh my god

hoseok starts chuckling to himself out of delight, turning to full-on cackles with you at how much the two of you have just been beside each other like parallel lines

“i need to make up the past two years to you.”

he declares seriously as a promise, pressing a tender wet kiss to your cheek that gets you giggling

“only if you write me a song,” you do him one better, kissing him on the corner of his mouth 

“don’t you know that most of them are about you? anyways, you should plan our wedding once it happens,” he’s forward with his words, having waited long enough that he nuzzles his nose to yours

:D

you’re gonna do him one even better

you’re gonna go right for the kill, the truth spilling out of you before you kiss him longingly, for the first time that it feels that it’s been something you’ve always yearned for

“don’t you know that you’re in my mind for every single one?”

[fandom-puff]

hi i have a request! imagine for tommy he picked you up at the bar so he doesn’t know you very well but you guys ~do the nasty~ and later he overhears from your one friend telling lizzie that you faked your orgasm and he hunts you down determined to make you cum for real

HI! thanks so much for this request- I adored writing it!

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUTSMUT also swearing bc... peaky blinders?

It was the grand opening of the Shelbys’ new bar, and naturally, almost all of Small Heath was crammed into the main room. The whiskey and gin (from Shelby Company Limited, of course) was flowing, and the Swing Band was playing loudly, much to the joy of the inebriated men and women dancing. You hummed to yourself, touching up your lipstick before calling for another round for you and your girlfriends, Ada and Lizzie. “You want another drink, Linda? Maybe just stout?” you asked, getting your coin purse out. 

“Don’t bother yourself. I won’t succumb to that temptation. Just tonic water for me,” you rolled your eyes and soon received your drinks. “So you won’t touch gin, but you’ll happily play in the snow, eh?” Ada smirked, winking at you as she sipped her drink. You spluttered into your own. 

“Come on, ladies,” you said, sensing the tension growing between sisters-in-law. “Let’s dance before the band starts playing that American rubbish,” 

Together, you joined in with the dancing, giggling and cheering each other on. “C’mon Lizzie! Spin me around! I wanna be twirled,” you squealed, and the taller woman happily complied. You were new to the company, and she wanted to make you feel welcome before the boys scared you off. Soon you left the dancefloor, leaving the girls, to get another drink. You arrived at the bar, giggling and breathless, and ordered your favourite drink.

 “Miss YLN,” a low voice rumbled next to you as the bartender poured your drink. “I don’t believe we’ve properly met. Been keeping the books, eh? My brother John says you’ve very neat handwriting, and hardly cross any number out,” You nodded as your eyes met Thomas Shelby’s.

 “Oh… yes, Mr Shelby,” you murmured. “I try to make them neat so you lot don’t get muddled up,” you said. He nodded. The bartender put your drink in front of you and you reached for your purse. Tommy stopped you and gestured to the bartender that your drink ought to be on the house. 

He soon took you into the side room, kicking Finn and Isiah out. “My secretary, Lizzie, recommended you to me,” he said as you perched opposite him. He lit a cigarette, rubbing it along his lip before taking a drag. “And I’ve been trying to figure you out. Couldn’t find anything,”

“I didn’t grow up ‘round here. When my mum died I took her maiden name. Most of her lot were killed. The Somme, I think,”

“And your dad?” he asked, watching you as you drank.

 “The bastard died in France too, as far as I know. But I left home after Mum died. That was before the war,” 

An hour later, you were still talking, although the pair of you had drained a bottle of whiskey. You were giggly and warm when drunk, but Tommy only closed in more. This didn’t bother you in the slightest. You leaned forward and smirked. “So, Mr Shelby, do I meet your approval, eh?”You were so close to him, and your pupils were dilated with what could only be described as a mixture of inebriation and desire. 

“Yes. Yes, you do. C’mere,” he grunted, dragging you into his lap. He pressed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, his hand already running up your thigh. You groaned and wriggled, sucking his lip into your mouth, grinding your heat onto his tenting trousers. He growled, unbuckling his belt and shoving his trousers down, and tearing your knickers down. He stood up, bending you over the table, before rutting into you animalistically. You whimpered, crying out, pushing back into him. His thrusts soon became sloppy, and you reached to stroke your pulsing clit- but he grabbed your hand as soon as he saw you moving, pinning you down and shouting out his release. It was a good job the band had started playing a popular song, otherwise, the whole of Birmingham would have heard you. 

You panted, expecting him to carry on thrusting to bring you over the edge. Instead, you heard the sound of a belt buckle and the door slamming shut.

 The experience sobered you up slightly and you straightened your dress, fixing your lipstick and hair before slipping out of the side room. You bumped into Lizzie and told her you were going home, as you were working in the morning. She nodded and took in your dishevelled (despite your best efforts) appearance. “Get some rest,” she said knowingly, giving you a wink.

 The next day, you arrived at work despite your headache. You lit a lamp, as it was still a little dark out, and started on the books, flicking through the notes scribbled by various members of the Shelby clan. You worked in peace for ten minutes before Lizzie and Pol came into the room, chatting. 

“There she is. How’s your head?” Lizzie grinned, sliding you some aspirin. You smiled gratefully and took the tablets.

 “Holy shit,” Pol commented, staring at the bruise on your throat. You blushed deeply and tugged your collar closed. You hated wearing this blouse buttoned all the way up, but needs must. 

“Wild night, eh?” Lizzie asked, getting her own paperwork sorted as Pol went to fix tea. 

“Not really,” You sighed, looking down. You wanted to ground to swallow you whole. 

“Oh, piss off. You came out of that side room five minutes after Tommy, looking like you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, and you show up to work with a dirty great love bite on your throat,” she grinned. “I’m not judging you, by the way. If anything I’m impressed. He’s been a right prick lately,” 

“And he was a right prick last night,” you hissed. “Moody bastard, and a lousy fuck as well. Didn’t even finish me off, I had to fake it in the end,” you glared down at your paperwork. Lizzie chuckled and rubbed your shoulder gently. Polly came back into the room with the cups and teapot, pouring for you all.

 “So who’s the man? Boyfriend we haven’t heard of?” She asked, smirking. 

“It was Tommy, Pol,” Lizzie explained. You kept your eyes down. “Apparently he’s a lousy fuck. Our poor YN was treated worse than the back alley whores by the sounds of it,” 

Prolly frowned and set your tea in front of you. “Wouldn’t think a lousy fuck would leave that mark,” she said slyly. “Use a cold spoon and some powder when you get home,” she advised. 

“And then tonight, go dancing and get a man who’ll treat you right, eh?” Said Lizzie. “You deserve better than someone rutting against you like a dog,”

The two women had cheered you up significantly and you smiled weakly until Arthur’s loud voice cut across your conversation.

 “Rutting like a dog? Was that what you and Tommy were up to last night?” He grinned, having overheard,  and you flushed angrily. 

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, YN, you are a pretty little thing-” he said, his smile dropping when he saw that his banter wasn’t making you laugh like normal.

 “No. I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I’d be embarrassed for your brother. Who would’ve thought Thomas Shelby didn’t know his way around a woman, let alone how to properly please her!” You turned around. “Pol, I’m going home. My head is banging and I need to concentrate on these books. Arthur’s done all the adding up wrong. Dock my pay if need be,” You took the heavy leather-bound book and tucked it under your arm, before storming out of the betting shop, right past Tommy without even noticing. 

The peace of your home was what you needed. You brewed yourself a pot of tea with the nice teabags you had picked up from the market, and settled yourself at your rickety old desk, going through the books and copying them up neatly, and more importantly, precisely. You even hummed to yourself, soon letting the stress of the previous night slowly fade away. 

That was until there was a sharp knock on your door. You sighed, getting up. There was another knock. “Alright! I’m coming. Rent’s not due for another week, though!” You called, going to take the door off the latch. 

There in the doorway, in all his glory, was your boss. His cap was drawn over his face and he blew out a breath of smoke. “YN. Can I come in?”

 You wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face and lock it, put the chain on and drown him out with your rusty gramophone.  But-

“Fine. But put that cigarette out before you step over my threshold. The last tenant was a bad smoker and I’ve only just got the smell out of the cushions,” when the door shut, you turned around, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Mr Shelby?” 

“Mr Shelby, is it now?” He asked, smirking. “That’s no way to greet a guest, is it. Are you going to offer me a drink?”

 “No, I’m not. You don’t take me as one for cold tea with no milk,” you quipped. “What do you want?”

 He arched his brow, looking you up and down as if you were a fresh cut from the butcher. You stood a little straighter, determined not to look small. “What I want, YN, is to know what your little fuss was about earlier on,” he said lowly. 

You scoffed. “Oh please. You know exactly what it was about, and even if you didn’t, I’m sure the boys would’ve informed you,” you said coldly. “If you must know, I was pissed. Still am. Because I let you… have me. And I’m pissed because you treated me like a common whore, and I’m pissed because everyone knows and will think less of me,” you said, flushing, brow furrowed. 

“And what’s all this about being a lousy fuck, eh?” He asked, face like stone. 

“Oh you heard that part well enough, didn’t you?” You suppressed an annoyed laugh. “It’s true. You are a lousy fuck. D’you bend all your women over and hump them like a dog in heat or am I just special?” 

“YN…,” he said, voice low, standing up and walking to you.

 “You know, I’ve had better shags when I was a teenager. At least the lads I used to go out with had the decency to finish me off once their balls were empty!” You ranted, unaware of him stalking closer and closer, like a panther on the prowl. 

He pushed you against the wall, arms braced either side of your head. You gulped. Had you pushed him too far? You looked up at him through your lashes, and couldn’t help but lick your lips, your breath already becoming shallow. “Finish you off, eh? Is that what you want?” He asked lowly, leaning to growl in your ear, sending a shiver that crawled all over your skin and made your eyelashes flutter. 

You bit your lip and nodded. “Y-yes…” you whispered.

 “Yes, what?” 

“Yes please, Mr Shelby,”

 That was all he needed. He gripped your hips and pulled them tight against his, kissing you ferociously, his hands gripping, squeezing, stroking every inch of you he could reach. You moaned against his mouth and scrabbled at his heavy coat and jacket, pushing them to the floor. You began fumbling with his belt when he grabbed your wrists, holding the, above your head.

 “Ah Ah Ah,” he said roughly. “I intend to make up for last night. And believe me, YN, I’m feeling particularly generous tonight,” He hoisted you up by the thighs and held you against him, carrying you to your bedroom and kicking the door shut. He deposited you onto the bed, before looking down at you. “Dress. Off.” He demanded, and you all too eagerly complied, much to his satisfaction, casting it aside, quickly followed by your slip, leaving you in your knickers and bra. He chuckled darkly at your eagerness, and when you went to undo your garter and stockings, he halted your hands, shaking his head. You nodded obediently and watched as he kneeled down in front of you. You pressed your knees together, but he tutted and caressed your legs, from ankle to thigh. 

“Don’t be shy, YN,” he murmured.

 “No one’s ever…” you whispered, shifting your thighs together. He cocked his brow up and smirked. 

“No one’s ever what, pet?” He asked, pushing your thighs apart and making quick work of your stockings. “Tasted you? Not even all those boys who knew how to please you, eh?” 

You nodded and bit your lip, gasping at the new sensation of his hot breath skittering across your core as he pressed filthy, open-mouthed kisses against your heat. He nipped the inside of your thighs to get you to spread them further and inhale your musk, shuddering at the scent of your arousal.

 “You won’t even remember your own fucking name once I’m through with you, love,” he promised, stroking his finger lazily up the seam of your underwear, pressing it against your clit. You clenched your fists into the sheets, thighs already trembling. This did not go unnoticed, and Tommy chuckled darkly at your desperation. “So responsive,” he murmured, dragging your underwear down torturously slowly, before burying his face between your legs. You whimpered as you felt his tongue running up your slit, gathering your arousal before he swallowed with a groan, gripping your thighs tightly and holding them apart. He traced your sopping folds with the very point of his tongue, his nose occasionally bumping your swollen clit, but giving it nowhere near enough attention for your liking. 

“Tommy please!” You whimpered after at least ten minutes of him scrubbing the flat of his tongue against your heat, nipping at your thighs, and even pushing his tongue into you. He pulled away and looked up at you with raised eyebrows, your slick glistening obscenely on his chin.

 “Please, what, YN? Use your words,” he demanded.

 “Please, touch me!” You cried, shifting your hips, trying to get some friction to your needy clit.  

“Touch you where YN? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” he said smirking cockily, pinning your hips down to still you.

 “On my… my… here!” You whimpered, reaching a hand down to flick at your throbbing nub. “Please, Tommy, please!” 

He growled and knocked your hand away, instantly attaching his lips to it, sucking like a man starved and flicking his tongue under the hood. You cried out and tipped your head back, gripping whatever handful of hair you could, swearing like a sailor. “Oi. Watch. Eyes on me.” He commanded, although slightly muffled by your writhing hips. You whined softly but nodded, focusing on watching the gorgeous man devouring you. Your eyes fluttered when you felt a familiar tension building up in the pit of your belly, your clit beginning to throb against his tongue. Your breath came in sharp gasps, and you bucked your hips up, desperate to tip over the edge, so close already-

Then… nothing.

 You groaned, glaring down at the man before you, who still held all the power despite being on his knees. You whined trying to grab him back. “What the fuck? Please, I was so close!” You said, intending to sound angry, but actually sounding needy and desperate. He grinned. 

“I know,” Bastard. He repeated this routine several times, bringing you right up to the edge, but dragging you away at the last moment, until you were practically sobbing with need. When he had taken his fill of your nectar, he worshipped your breasts, sucking and nipping and kissing and lathing his tongue over your nipples until you were writhing, arching your back, convinced you would cum from this stimulation alone. 

“Please, Tommy!” You whined, fingers tangled in his cropped hair as he sucked a dark mark on your breast. “Please, Tommy, you’ve proved your point, please!” You sounded pathetic, begging like a whore, but to be quite frank, you could give a bigger fuck if you tried. “Just… please, Tommy, I need you. Need to feel you,” you whispered, stroking his jaw as he resurfaced, his piercing eyes trained on yours. “Need you to fill me up, claim me… I’m yours, Tom. Don’t you want to feel me cumming all over your cock?” 

Your words were meant to rile Tommy up, but they made you shift and whimper and buck despite yourself. “Good girl,” he whispered. “I’m very impressed with you. I’m going to fuck you, YN, and I’m going to do it properly,” You nodded eagerly and watched with glazed eyes as he discarded his waistcoat, shirt and trousers. You licked your lips as he dropped his underwear, groaning at the sight of his long, thick cock bouncing free, already leaking.

 All for you. 

You whimpered as Tommy crawled up the mattress towards you, already spreading your legs for him. “Please,” you whispered, reaching for him. He nodded, slowly pushing himself into you, bracing his elbows either side of your head. You cried out at the stretch of him, arching your back to press into his warm chest. Already, you were digging your nails into his back, and he grunted at the feeling of your walls clenching onto him for dear life.

 “Fucking hell,” he groaned into your neck, drawing back almost completely, before driving back into you with slow, measured movements, his forehead pressed to yours as he fucked you slowly, yet each thrust was ended with a sharp snap of his hips. You whined out, throbbing around him, trying to meet his thrusts with faster, needier ones of your own.

 “More, Tommy, more!” you cried out, scrabbling your nails down his back, clinging to his shoulder blades. You raised your legs to wrap them around his waist, angling your hips up more, eyes rolling at the deeper penetration gained by the new angle. “Please, faster,” you begged, writhing eagerly beneath him. “Please?” you whimpered, practically sobbing with need. 

Tommy grunted and nodded, holding you tight to him as he fucked you harder, faster, more relentlessly, growling into your ear, before suckling dark marks down your throat and to your collarbone. Moaning, he pistoned his hips into you, each thrust bumping delicious pressure onto your aching clit. It was too much. 

You moaned wantonly, arching your back and biting his shoulder. “Fuck Tommy, I’m gonna cum,” you whined, clinging to him, not wanting him to pull away before your release again.

 “Good girl,” he groaned. “Cum around my cock, love, that’s what you want. That’s what I want,” he grunted, his thrusts sloppy and harsh. With his permission, you yelped out, crying his name as you came, seeing white spots, even when you clenched your eyes shut. Feeling you clench around him like a vice, he shouted his release, spurting into you, filling you with his hot cum. 

Panting, he pulled out, and for a moment you worried he would buckle up his belt and leave you like a whore again, but the mattress dipped beside you as he lay down. He drew you into his side, holding you close. 

“You alright?” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. “You okay, love?” you nodded, resting your head on his chest, breathing deeply. 

“I-I… more than alright,” you murmured, causing him to chuckle. He lit a cigarette and grinned, rubbing your side as you drew the covers around you both.

 “So, still think I’m a lousy fuck, eh?” he smirked. You grinned and looked up, reaching to kiss him.

 “Not sure,” you said cheekily. “That might have been a fluke. You’ll have to repeat that display a few more times so I know you didn’t just get lucky,”

 “Oh, I got lucky all right,” he smirked. “Sleep. We’ll take the day off work tomorrow, and I’ll show you that wasn’t a fluke, eh?”

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[teacup-tyrant]

Rule of Wolves: LIVE REACTIONS PART 2 (The Ketterdam Chapters)

So I might drop a very, very, VERY unpopular opinion here that would probably get me drawn and quartered by most of you guys. But I'm generally curious and want to know what other people thought about these scenes...

So I'm going to say it anyway because I can be a pompous asshat who has a B.A. & M.A. in writing and criticism and it's not like I'm using those degrees much anyway *cries.* So. Here we go:

- oh oh oh my god, big things are happening and I don't even care bc WE'RE GOING TO KETTERDAM bc Nikolai needs Kaz to steal titanium for him omggggggg

Everyone in the Grishaverse: Man, this would all be so much easier if Kaz Brekker was here to figure everything out for us and steal shit. Kaz: ◡‿◡✿

- as they're walking into Ketterdam I am fucking GIDDY. I missed this place so much and I am so surprised to be here. Was anyone expecting any of the crows to be involved AT ALL in this book? Bc I certainly wasn't. This is like an unexpected easter egg. And I am writing this on Easter, holy shit.

- (the reason I love Ketterdam so much, I think, is because it reminds me so much of my beloved yet crime-ridden city of CHICAGO, but that's a-whole-nother post for another time.)

- oh Kaz and his disguises, I knew it was him from the second a cane was mentioned. Yes, Zoya, he does like the opportunity to dress up.

- Inej tarred and feathered them. She TARRED AND FEATHERED THEM IN CROW FEATHERS OMG what an absolute legend.

- "Never heard of her" HAHAHA FUCK ME UPPPPPP

- goddamn do I miss my crow heathens, I am loving getting new content with them in it so much. We have been so starved.

- Ok now here... is where I am getting into territory people might not like. I am a 100% Six of Crows stan and I love them all to death. However. This entire trip to Ketterdam seems like a side quest. In these chapters, I have literally forgotten about wtf I'm actually reading and have immersed myself in the 3rd book of SoC. From an editorial point of view... this is distracting me from the actual plot of RoW. I hate myself for saying this, but I would have edited ALL of it out. (plz don't kill me over this opinion) This is the Tom Bombadill chapter that Peter Jackson edited out of Fellowship of the Ring, you know what I'm saying? Fucking great, but not completely necessary. Nikolai is fighting a war, he could have sent someone else to do this.

In the back of my mind... I can't help but think that this entire journey is here to make the 75% of us who are reading this bc we love SoC... happy. People fucking love Kaz Brekker (I am people) and I feel like this is here to appease us, not because the story actually needs it. I'M SO SORRY. This is just what my peer-reviewing, editing brain is telling me. Ok, going back to reacting to my favorite people...

- did Kaz just admit he has a conscience? What a good boy.

- omfg they're going to work with Wylan. Is he going to design them bombs or something?! Do it, son.

- this is interesting seeing Kaz doing a job like... directly for someone else and not really for himself? Like Nikolai is his client haha

- "I'm not susceptible to flattery, only stacks of cash." ahahah truer words have never been spoken

- Jesper said he believes in gnomes. I cannot with this lad.

- is this Inej's crew coming to help them? They have jackal masks.

- ok idk about this Suli part. Since when are there Suli in Ketterdam? And why? How did Inej not know about them? Did Kaz know about them? I want answers.

- the more I think about it, the more I think all these random Suli callbacks are setting up for something BIG happening with the Suli later. I think Nikolai is going to do something for them or they're going to prove something about how they should be accepted and respected. Give indigenous people rights.

- moments between Kaz and Nikolai are so great because they're both really witty and they love to talk. They're just... so similar and so different? I feel like Kaz comes off as external Nikolai (confidence) and internal Zoya (coldness). That thought needs more unpacking hahaha

- last thing – I remember somewhere LB saying how that she might write another SoC book but that things will go badly for some of the crows. Guys, maybe we don't want another book. Things seem to be going SWIMMINGLY for the crows right now (minus Nina). Kaz completely OWNS the Barrel with his new properties and his tunnels and who knows what else. Jesper is practicing fabricating and Wylan says they don't even * need * money and they seem super happy. Inej is out fucking up slavers just like she wanted. They're all doing great. Maybe leave them alone. We don't want another Cursed Child. Idk.

...And that's that for now. If you want to talk/ yell at me/ tell me how wrong I am about all this, please do. Send me an ask or message or something. I want to know what other people thought about the Ketterdam detour.

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[in-tua-deep]

tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights” 

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ???? 

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

[naturesgender]

oh my god this lunar interlude is so sweet :’))) here are my thoughts as i go (kind of, i listened to the magnus part while i was out so i couldn’t take notes then so i just kind of had to remember) under the cut! (now edited to include character work)

ooh magnus is gonna get stealthy!! and i got my wish about seeing more of carey!! she’s super cool i love her

wait are she and killian,,,,, oh my god power couple power couple power couple i fucking Knew It

carey being awful at carving ducks and accidentally making one with two asses is So Funny to me

wait how Did he get that scar?? now i’m curious

OH MY GOD HE MADE CAREY A RING FOR HER TO GIVE TO KILLIAN,,,,,,,, OH MY GOD,,,,,,,,,,, THE SEROTONIN IN THIS EPISODE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HOLY SHIT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

aw high five :’)))

ooh merle time!!!! ok what’s this funky lil lad gonna get up to

oh my god okay tree puns right off the bat. yep that’s merle

oooh hold on. the director?? and merle?? at a spa?????

i just remembered that she has a name aside from The Director i forgot what it was i’m gonna look it up

lucretia!! that’s right!!! nice name

oooh Personal Growth that is my jam

oh my god ok. he chose pan as his patron deity because. pan has a cool beard.

ok yknow what yeah. i can see them being friends. i can actually see them being really good friends. i can totally see it

“what’s this purple shit you’re drinking?” “grape juice.” “how old is it?” “125 years old.” “yeah well yknow there’s a name for grape juice that’s 120-something years old!” “that was what my jokes sound like.” “yeah, we’re gonna - we’re gonna work on that.”

:’)))

taako time babey!!!! taako from tv!!!!!!

but first i go and get a snack

ok i’m back it’s taako time

ANGUS IS GONNA LEARN MAGIC

also taako’s being nice!!!!! we love to see it

ok well kind of

angus is such a sweetie i adore him

BACKSTORYYYYYYY

aw he ate the macaroon all by himself :(( and there weren’t many presents under his candlenights bush :(( and it was the highlight of his holiday :((((( i would be giving this poor baby so many hugs if i were in this world

oh no wait,,,,,,,,, he killed a bunch of people?? or just. injured them???? it sound like he killed them oh no oh my god oh shit

he’s becoming a baby wizard!!!!!!! i’m so proud of him

oh shit. oh shit. he is threating this child. oh shit. taako what the fuck. taako sir what are you doing. taako he is a Child. taako what the fuck. taako. sir. stop it. stop it.

every time they say prestidigitation i think they’re being silly

oh???? oh????? scorching ray?? not prestidigitation??

oh shit the macaroons :((

oh shit???????? what the fuck??? why the wall???? a shape??? L??????

wait hold on. hold on i know where this is going

I WAS RIGHT

oh my god

ok yknow what. i bet. i bet she was the red robe he took the umbrastaff from. i am kind of hoping that’s not true bc that would mean he’s probably gonna have to fight her but based on what i have tried very hard not to see i think that might be right. i think she might be. the red robe he took the umbrastaff from when they went to the lost mine of phandalin

ok that was a Wonderful lunar interlude and i am gonna move on to the leveling up/fantasy gashapon/fantasy costco section now but oh my god. i think this is one of my favorite episodes

oops i posted this pre-emptively accidentally so i will come back and edit it when i’m done with the next section

i feel so bad for leon that’s pretty much all i have to say about fantasy gashapon

on the items they got:

i want that armor i rlly want that armor

zone of truth glasses!!

taako you fucking asshole

FANTASY COSTCO, WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE (GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!!!)

i can’t decide whether i hate or love garfield the deals warlock. he definitely has some sort of sinister intent

ooooh multiclassing!!!

:)))) all my serotonin comes from this podcast (and my friends)

[silvermuffins]

NieR:Automata: Because Let's Not Pokemon Today

Been a couple of days, time for shit to get weird. Wait first I need to get BBS outta here. That's on the list of to-finish too. But right now is sad robot time. As soon as this thing updates, goddammit. Ten million small delays.

AH, FINALLY, I CAN PLAY.

Where were we? I did the carnival place and got taken to a like, machine village?

- Let's fuckin' go, let's get weird

- I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or who I talk to to progress plot. I know I only just got here.

- watches 9S go flying to catch up with me while I wander around exploring

- everyone in town is committed to waving white flags and not fighting like "HOLY SHIT BITCH INCOMING PLEASE DO NOT MURDER US WE JUST WANNA TALK"

- are these lyrics is this a language

- what's with the makeup? who is jean-paul?

- oh no i found a philosopher

- oh THAT'S jean-paul

- this is a sidequest?

- i have already been distracted from whatever the main plot was supposed to be

- i just helped an operator feel a little better after her crush dumped her. i ship it now,

- i am now a mail person bc i need to deliver some shit to jean-paul and a thingy to anemone

- commerce! I honestly don't have tons of commentary rn i'll be back when shit gets weird

- i forgot one of the npcs says something about the moon and this area not having a proper nighttime. explain????

- "Listen to her problem" or "Ignore the hint" snrrrrrk

- 9S is a very bouncy lad

- ???? i am supposed to look for sidequest clues in this area but there are none clues to be had with my left beef

- plays leapfrog with 9S a bit. finds One Clue but it's more of a dead end....

- ig i'll go wander around looking for other sidequests and goals

- how did pascal get my number

- really wish i knew what these ??? points on my map were or how to get to them

- huh the humans know about the flag-bearing machines??? maybe the humans are less dead than i thought

- android battle fever is apparently similar to human love......ok that's weird.

- jackass is pretty rude but then, i'm not sure what i was expecting

- and then i had to build a whole new chip setup to complete her quest

- whatever, i did it, time to scour the desert for shit

- how!!! did pascal!!!! get my number!!!!!!!!!

- oh great, an escort mission....and 9S playing teacher. Androids have pretty good customer service and bedside manner considering these are supposed to be combat units????

- it's actually really fucking hard to keep up with this chick when i keep sliding down the dunes

- OH MY GOD 9S ALMOST HAD TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GIVE THE BIRDS AND THE BEES TALK TO A ROBOT

- though i don't know if it's accurate to say machines can't make children, actually

- what else could ken doll sephiroth have been????

- oh thank god i don't need to take her all the way back

- okay i found the other machine im after in the desert

- she is surrounded by "wife machine" npcs......robot polygamy??? lesbian robot polygamy??????

- she is sniffing me. i need an adult,

- i try to find my own way out of the desert, having done this in the least efficient manner possible.....

- i finally got to the amusement park and located jean-paul's third groupie. just gotta find music box and that'll be another sidequest down...

- i have encountered another sidequest on the long way back to the village

- hold up my dude wants money

- okay i threw some cash at him but this is one of those ongoing things like improving the dojo in Isle of Armor, I'll get back to him when I am less strapped for cash

- whee time to talk to everyone in town AGAIN bc they're gonna say different shit this time

- i love how 2B always manages the most clinical and objective reassurances like bitch i KNOW you care

- oh i already have the thingy they need? neato

- i appreciate how this game wastes absolutely no time before making you question everything it tells you about the setting

- i forgot to talk to jean-paul before progressing plot and now it won't let me give him the quest items?

- guess i'll come back later. for now, goliath in the city ruins, i should....save and prep for a nasty one.

- where the fuck did the color go

- the poor moose......

- got through the legs fine. elevator shaft ladder is bogus so I guess we're taking the stairs!

- how the frick frack do i get to the roof

- OH, RUBBLE BRIDGE

- teehee, amber obtained <3

- WELL THAT SURE HAPPENED

- *UNDERGROUND*

- heigh ho heigh ho

- okay we need to do.....shit. idk what we need to do.

- where am i? near the desert?

- yeah looks like it

- jesus fuck. giant-ass crater in the middle of the city ruins.

- guess i'll be getting lost less often

- we can hope, anyway

- yes i am stalling i need to process

- also my browser doesn't scroll so i accidentally a lot of empty bulletpoints to fill in

- this was objectively not the weirdest thing to happen so far

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 13~

(i have been warned in advance that this one is gonna HURT. so. brace urselves, gentle tumblrinas 😩)

kid: how come i've got to fetch water?? MAKE SHIWU DO IT! D:<

shifu: *WHACK* i may not have a shillelagh but i HAVE GOT A HORSETAIL WHISK. GO, CHILD. DO CHORES!!

ohhh poor sweet shiwu ;A; he volunteers to help anyway ;A; what a good lad!! DOn'T TAKE HIM FROM ME 😭😭

shen qiao: *is unconscious in front of the temple*

the kids (in skyrim child's voice): AH!! DEAD BODY!!! DDD:

sang jingxing: how dare shen qiao hurt me. I AM HURT. I AM HURT BY SHEN QIAO TRYING TO STOP ME FROM KILLING AND EATING HIM. >:(

awwww now shiwu is looking after shen qiao ;A; he's so SWEET, he's such a kind and gentle babby ;A;

OH NOES!!! SHEN QIAO'S MERIDIANS ARE BROKEN!?! HE CAN'T DO MARTIAL ARTS???!!! BUT HE HAS LITERALLY NO OTHER SKILLS (that we know of)!!!!

ashdodsdaisji shifu is strict!! but shiwu goes 'even if u've got a sharp tongue, i know ur a good man, shifu! :D' and now shifu can't say shit when shiwu asks him to heal shen qiao!!!! well played, u clever babby, well played indeed!!! 🤣

yan wushi: lol u better pray for urself shen qiao. like call an ambulance but not for me >:D

shen qiao: *goes thru a magical girl transformation in his sleep*

shen qiao: that was weird :)

OH!!! HIS MERIDIANS ARE FIXED??? HIS DANTIAN IS HEALING?? HE CAN SEE??????

yan wushi (in his memories): lol let's uhhhh dual cultivate >;D >;D >;D

shen qiao (waking up): *BAAAARRRRFFFFF*

uh-oh

OH NO CHUYI

CHUYI NOOOO BE QUIET, CHILD!!! RUN, CHILD!!! RUN!!!

'xiao daoshi' this guy definitely drives a white van in the modern au version of this story 😒

NO DON'T HURT THE BABY!!! LET HIM GO U TWAT!!! ;A;

oh it's the weirdo with the fan made of knives!! lol i didn't recognise u with a child suspended in front of ur face as a hostage 😊

knife-fan guy: if u don't bring shen qiao here within two hours i will kill EVERY PRIEST HERE!! >:)

all three of them?? ok lol

……….i am bluffing pls do not kill them one is old and two are baby pls do NOT KILL THEM ;A;

shifu: well, that kid's dead. hehuan sect will kill everyone anyway, so i'll go die and u take care of my other student, k?

shen qiao: :) ??? :)

awww he froze shen qiao in place bc he knew shen qiao was gonna throw himself in front of them ;A;

HE PAT SHIWU ON THE HEAD GOOD-BYE

SHIFU NO

SHIFU DON'T DO IT

SHIFU NOOOOOOOO

knife-fan guy: wow too bad i have to kill this cute kid lol >:) i would have preferred to kill shen qiao but this is fine too >:)

shifu entering the scene like a character from a shakespeare play: 'it's dark!! who has disturbed my dream??'

and verily shifu did appear and try to make the blackguard spare his young squire the noose!! alas, the cruel knave believed him not, when shifu swore he did not know shen qiao, the one the blackguard sought; and so, in blood-soaked rage did he—AHEM ANYWAY

AHHH, XIAO SE!! that was his name. xiao se, bai rong, and yan shou!!! they are all the hehuan sect clowns, they who use children as human shields!! (except bai rong 😘)

awww poor shifu ;A; he knows his odds are bad but he's still trying to protecc shen qiao and save his boy ;A;

holy shit shifu is badass!!! GET EM SHIFU

uhhhh they're not gonna make me watch the kid die, are they?? are they???

zhu lengquan is shifu's name!!! nice to meet u sir!! im just gonna call u shifu tho. bc i have a feeling i won't be able to call u anything for very much longer ;A;

OH NO

OHHH NOOOOOOOO

CHUYI

CHUYIIIIIII NOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEY

THEY MADE ME WATCH

THEY MADE ME WATCH THE CHILD DIE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AWWW SHIFU YELLED HIS NAME!! HE IS HEARTBROKEN OMG

damn shifu is cool!! he's fighting so hard on chuyi's behalf ;A; he even SPITS on the murderer!! bc he's a BADASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!! U GO KING!!!

SHIFUUUUUU

SHIFUUUU NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

'even if i knew who he was, i wouldn't tell u bc u killed my disciple!! KILL ME FIRST'

and then they did ;A;

SCREW U LOT!!! SHIFU AND CHUYI WERE GOOD GUYS AND THEY DESERVED THE WORLD ;A;

NOOOOOOO SHIWU AND SHEN QIAO ARE CRYINGGGGG

FCK IM CRYING TOO

NOOOOOOOO MY BABIESSSSS

bai rong don't betray them. BAI RONG DON'T BETRAY THEM

awww THANK U BAI RONG!! UR THE BEST BAI RONG ;A;

she's just!! SO GREAT ;A; THANK U BBYGIRLLLLLL ;A;

BUT MY POOR SHIWU ;A;

my poor bby!!! he's crying so much!!!

NOW THEY’RE BOTH CRYING OVER SHIFU'S BODYYYY ;A;

THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD ;A;

shen qiao what are u doing wITH THAT SWORD oh he's

he's doing a swear. he make an oath. ok cool

AWWWW THEY BURIED SHIFU AND CHUYI ;A;

spongebob squarepants narrator guy: a few days later~

shen qiao and shiwu stare sadly at the river and cry ;A; they're sad, i'm sad, WE'RE ALL SAD HERE ;A;

shen qiao: btw i'm adopting u :(

shiwu: ok thanks new dad ;A;

shen qiao does not respect his scabbard, he throws that shit to the ground without regard

THIS SONG SLAPS!!! i wonder if it's some sort of specific music?? the singer's voice seems different to what i’m used to hearing somehow?? it's BEAUTIFUL tho, i love it 💚💚💚

shen qiao: ok kid watch this and repeat after me *does a whole-ass ROUTINE that most adults couldn't do*

'shang he tong bei???' is that what the blade is called? woe for all??

shen qiao is filled with DETERMINATION!!! good for him!!!

i love this donghua but sometimes the pacing is a bit odd, and it's more noticeable with the bg music shifts lol. i don't mind it tho!!! i'm enjoying myself very much!! :DDD

goin for a lil swim, shen qiao?? 🌊

AWWW SHIWU ASKED IF HE COULD BE LIKE SHEN QIAO ;A; THAT'S FECKING ADORABLE ;A;

OH MY GODDDDD THEY'RE SO CUTE ;A;

shen qiao: u smiled!! it would make ur shifu and chuyi happy to see that :)

OOAOAJDIOSAJ THEY'RE HUGGINGGGGG

HE'S HUGGING THE BABYYYYYYY THEY ARE FRIENDS NOW THEY HUGOMG THEY HUG 💚💚💚💚

aaaaa it's very sweet to see shen qiao acting with such warmth to shiwu ;A; unlike SOME PPL 😒 (glares at young zhou zishu telling babby jiuxiao and chengling not to cry ) shen qiao u will make a very good surrogate dad!! i look forward to u not at all contributing to this child’s trauma thru ur either ur reckless actions or ur choice of husband!!

[Exit, pursued by a bear.]