#HES SO SLUTTY I CANT

[ultravioletbrit]

“short” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 338 words

James is going to be cool. He’s going to be normal, casual. It’s just a night out with friends he can handle that. A night out with friends, including his best friend and his best friend’s brother who happens to be the most beautiful man James has ever seen. But James is going to be totally cool about it.

James’ plan works for about five minutes until Regulus shows up wearing low-rise jeans that hug his hips and a crop top. A fucking crop top that reveals several inches of smooth skin, a slender waist and a belly ring. A fucking belly ring.

James’ brain short-circuits. There’s not a single thought in his head and he can’t tear his eyes away from Regulus. His eyes travel up Regulus’ body until he makes eye contact and Regulus smirks. He fucking smirks.

“You alright there, Potter?” Regulus asks when he gets close enough.

“Huh?” James’ brain is on a constant loop of how beautiful Regulus is and he can’t form any other words.

“I said are you alright? You look a little dazed?” Regulus’ voice is low and sultry and just as beautiful as he is.

“You’re beautiful.” James blurts out because there are no other thoughts in his head.

“Huh?” Regulus’ smirk drops and his eyes go wide.

“What?” James asks numbly.

“You… I…”

“You?… Huh?…”

“I…”

“God, you’re both pathetic. Just go fuck in the bathroom already.” Barty's voice cuts through the static in James’ brain.

“DO NOT go fuck in the bathroom.” Sirius cuts in. “But, yes, you are both pathetic.”

“Huh?” James and Regulus say at the same time.

“This is hard to watch. I’m getting a drink.” Barty pushes past them and Sirius follows him to the bar.

James and Regulus stare at each other for a few awkward moments. James’ thoughts are slowly coming back to him, but one thought still stands out.

“You’re beautiful.” James breaks the silence.

Regulus’ cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink and he finally breaks eye contact. “You said that already.”

“It bears repeating.”

[queertealover]

He's so delicious, I can't.

[dejasenti99]

he's going the distance!

more about our main character, nerve aratani ↓ (trigger warning for drug mention)

works at spinner's record cafe as a cashier, but also participates in street races. he's an amazing driver and has won countless races, but his prize money usually gets sent back home to his parents.

he's japanese and white, originally from tennesse, n has a little bit of a twang when he's excited/upset.

his nickname for his mom is bambi, and he's always had an extremely close relationship with her. her getting sick was one of the worst things to happen to him.

he went to jail for drug possession and evading arrest after cops ambushed one of his races and he tried to escape/found a bag on him.

he has a collection of cars he keeps in a garage back at his childhood home/farm

he has a ferret named benicio!

[theorbdotcom]

paul dano in the ballad of jack and rose (2005)

[jimages-daily]

[kentjohnson91]

me and my sister just came across this on google 😳😳😳

(original tumblr poster https://nhl-stories.tumblr.com/)

[not-equippedforthis]

james 'bluff and bullshit' t kirk

[summer-oil]

duck: hello dearest ari!!! humbly kneeling before u and raising up my palms to receive a blessing (ari assigned fate servant summon) (no pressure of course!!) (also ily and i am kissing all of your mice tenderly on the head)

DUCK!!!!!!!! this one was a no brainer ngl though there are many servants i could see u summoning … :0 ultimately though !!!! iiiiii would pair you with:

(LOOK AT HIS SLUTTY FUCKING FA ART IM SOOOOOO . anyway)

…. ashiya douman !!!!! >:3c one of the clowns of All Time. nowww the reason i am so inclined to pair you two together is you are silly and he is silly and you are deeply into men who would torture you a little bit <3 WHICH HE WOULD !!!!!! u are his little duckling …. in my mind’s eye …… i feel like in a fate au you would summon him on accident (<- classic fate trope) even without being a mage and douman would kinda …. teach you the ropes and guide you through the grail war (with intention to manipulate you and probably betray you and take the grail for himself. anyway) IT JUST MAKES SOOOO MUCH SENSE IN MY MIND. also i do feel u being aroace would add another layer of comedy because he is a slut . by nature … are u seeing the vision ……. anyway . the duck/douman dynamic aside, just to give you a sense of who he is, douman is …. a pretty evil guy LMAO and the only reason he can’t become a Beast (<- fate term) is because he holds no love for humanity. so on that note i think he’d make an effort to grow closer to you in order to achieve that which would be tasty. BUT YEAH i’m not fully read up on his lore, but he’s silly and a little sad . he’s funny. good with kids. a monster but then again no one in fate is truly a monster most of them just want to be loved . douman doesn’t know it but i think he probably does too ……. you’d make for a super fun duo and a super good story :3c

[spanishinfluenza]

The knife shakes. The air throbs with the blood.

"God, help me."

A Rope In Hand

[zapsoda]

i love how round and soft his features are. kind of like me. he has such a striking waist to shoulder ratio hes so much skinnier than you expect just seeing his upper half. a lot of people draw him with a strong chin but hes kind of giving aerochad. just like me.... demisexuality is amazing because i can just fall in a love with a man who has facial features im insecure about and suddenly theyre attractive to me. but only on him.

[queertealover]

He's such a pretty man, always such a slut, what a nice view.

[tennessoui]

democratic fic part four

(democratic fic masterlist) (2.5k)

“We should go,” Kenobi says.  His voice shakes as much as his hands do, and Anakin has the almost irrepressible urge to grab them and still them. Hold them. 

“You should never have come down here in the first place,” Anakin bites back, even though his anger is far from productive. They should go. Anakin knows this. Anakin should be leaping at the chance to whisk a willing Kenobi back up to the safety of the Upper Levels. Kenobi is being cooperative. He’s only known the boy for a few days, but he already understands that Kenobi is rarely cooperative at all.

Kenobi’s lip curls up into the beginnings of a sneer, but something freezes suddenly in his face. His eyes go blank as he looks around, and then they start to water.

Oh stars, the boy is crying.

Oh stars, the boy cries so prettily that it makes Anakin feel like a dirty old man to have his hands all over him like this.

“They—” Obi-Wan blinks tear-filled eyes up at Anakin. “They were going to—”

Anakin swallows rather thickly. “Yeah,” he mutters, letting his hands fall to rest on the boy’s shoulders. The Force sings around them, so damned loud Anakin can hardly concentrate. “But uh. You’re safe, alright? I, uh.”

He flicks his eyes back to the crumpled, still forms of Obi-Wan’s would-be attackers, and the reality of what he just did catches up to him like a tidal wave. “I killed them,” he says out loud, eyes widening. Oh fucking Sith’s hells, he just killed a sentient. He could be—arrested or lose his seat in the Senate—he took another’s life—Force, the Jedi would demand he be put in Force suppression cuffs again. Worse, he’d have to sit through their remedial lessons and the Council would lecture him for hours on proper use of the Force. 

At least if he’s behind prison bars, he’d be forced to pay attention this time around, he thinks rather hysterically.

A pair of slender arms wind around his waist, shocking him out of the spiral of his thoughts. “For me,” Obi-Wan murmurs, pressing up into his hug and resting his head on Anakin’s shoulder, face turned into his neck. He can feel the wetness of Obi-Wan’s cheeks from his tears and the softness of his lips brushing his skin as he speaks.

He fits so well into Anakin’s arms, like he belongs there. 

This thought is just as hysterical as his previous ones.

“You killed them for me,” Obi-Wan repeats, nuzzling further into his neck. The way he says it makes it sound like it’s all fucking good, a justification to explain the literal fucking crime Anakin’s just committed. 

A voice that sounds very much like Padmé is screaming at him in his head that no justification can explain away taking someone’s life, but then Obi-Wan pulls back from his one-sided hug and looks up at him again with wet eyes. His face is scratched up and bleeding. His hair is mussed up too from the creature’s claws gripping and twisting it.

It makes such a sense of wrongness well up in Anakin’s chest that he almost chokes on it. 

“They would have hurt me,” Obi-Wan says. “But you killed them before they could.” 

Anakin gets the very strange impression that if Obi-Wan were a loth-cat, he would be purring right now. Purring and rubbing up against him.

Though, he doesn’t have to be part loth-cat for that last part, which he’s already proven.

But it’s not as if the boy is wrong. The Zephrian would have hurt him. Anakin prevented that hurt from coming to fruition.

As if someone else is controlling his body, he raises his hand to Obi-Wan’s face and fits it against his unblemished cheek. They’re both shaking now. Adrenaline leaving the body perhaps. Residual fear from Obi-Wan. Maybe even shock settling in.

“We should go,” Obi-Wan whispers, even as he stands still, face cradled in Anakin’s palm. “This may be the lower levels, but eventually a Coruscanti guard is going to find the bodies.”

The bodies. The bodies that Anakin made.

Obi-Wan’s eyes flare for a second—a trick of the light making them shine golden as he huffs out a breath. “I’m cold,” he says, and he shivers again.

He’s cold because he’s wearing a skimpy little outfit among the shadows of the Lower Levels. He’s cold because more skin is showing than he’s got hidden away. He’s cold because he is not tucked away in his grandfather’s apartments where a pretty little bird like him should be.

Anakin’s nostrils flare even as he drops his hand away from Kenobi’s face to yank his cloak off and drag it over the boy’s shoulders. “We’re leaving,” he bites out, anger rising once more at the sight of the little princeling in front of him.

“That’s what I’ve been—Force!” Obi-Wan’s snappish reply turns into a surprised curse when Anakin takes his elbow and pulls him into motion. “Ow, Anakin!”

But Anakin knows now what Obi-Wan really sounds like when he’s in pain, the high, pitchy gasp he’s capable of making, so he does not ease up on his grasp. He just—he needs to get the boy back where he belongs, away from him, and then he needs to forget all about Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“You’re going home,” Anakin snarls, cutting through the crowd in the opposite direction. The smartest of the people around them get out of the way as soon as they see him coming. Kenobi makes a little noise of surprise when someone shoves into him, pressing closer to Anakin. “And then I’m never going to see you again.”

“Don’t be so pessimistic,” Obi-Wan says, panting slightly as he has to walk twice as fast to keep up with Anakin’s strides. “My grandfather will hardly ban you from seeing m—”

Anakin swings them to a stop and pushes the infuriating princeling up against the closest wall. “That wasn’t an opinion,” he growls, using every inch of his greater height to loom over the boy. “That was an order.”

Kenobi’s eyes are round, wet. There’s none of that fear that had been present earlier, even though he is being held against an alleyway’s disgusting wall by a murderer. 

“You should be afraid,” Anakin mutters, tracing his eyes over the lines of Kenobi’s face. “Why aren’t you afraid.” This isn’t a question either; this is a demand. 

Kenobi blinks up at him and then relaxes into the wall. “You killed them for me,” he murmurs. “And then you gave me your cloak.”

As if that’s an explanation.

Anakn bares his teeth, feeling wild as the Force howls around him.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan adds, dropping his eyes away only to look at him once more from under his fucking eyelashes. “For saving me.”

Some newly awakened beast inside Anakin roars at this, though even he cannot tell if it’s from satisfaction, hunger, or rage.

“I am never going to see you again,” he repeats as firmly as he knows how.

“Yes, Senator,” Kenobi replies. His mouth curls up into a small smile. Anakin wants to bruise him. “But I can’t fly like this, Senator,” he bites at his lip. The cut on his face has stopped bleeding, but it looks wicked. His hair is still a mess. “Please take me home.”

Anakin scowls. The boy calls him senator like it’s some other title altogether. It makes his tongue feel heavy, his chest tight, and his face hot. “I’m flying,” he barks before turning out of the alleyway. He feels wrong-footed. Wrong. 

He killed a sentient today, but all he can think about is Obi-Wan Kenobi’s pretty little face looking up at him as tears beaded along his eyes. All he can think is that he should have kille the Zephrian faster, before they or their monkey could ever touch Kenobi. All he can think is that he wants to make Kenobi cry again.

Kenobi’s speeder-bike is where the boy left it, watched over by the same eager vendor. “No one touched it,” the man swears as soon as he sees Anakin approach.

“Good,” Anakin tells him. “Much obliged.”

He swings his leg up and over the seat grabbing its handles. It’s a new make, of course it fucking is. The little princeling would never fly anything but the newest speeder on the line. It makes him seethe, that Kenobi will never know the poverty Anakin came from, that he’ll never appreciate how fucking good he has it, that he’ll risk everything he has on a whimsical decision. He’ll leave a brand new speeder in a shit alleyway. He’ll parade around the Lower Levels in diamonds and sapphires. He’ll cry for others—

“Hey!” The vendor protests. “Hey, you said—”

“I lied,” Anakin growls back. Kenobi’s arms wrap around his waist again. The boy presses indecently, unnecessarily close. 

“You sleem—”

“You should leave,” Obi-Wan’s voice chimes in, lilting and calm and filled with such a heavy application of sheer power that Anakin’s feet automatically kick the speeder into low gear before he realizes that Kenobi wasn’t commanding him. 

“I…should leave,” the vendor repeats, sounding struck over the head. Anakin feels rather struck too. He’d heard of the Jedi mindtrick, most people had given the prevalence of the Jedi in popular culture, but he’d never seen it in action. He’d never heard it.

It sends a shiver of disgust down his spine in a way the popularized idea of the trick never had. To take control of someone’s mind—to enslave them to your will, even for a second….

Kenobi presses his face against his neck, turning so that his lips slide over his skin. “We should leave too,” he murmurs as if he has not just stolen a man’s free will from him, if only for a moment. 

But then—Anakin killed a sentient tonight. Does he have any room to be disgusted with Kenobi’s actions?

Padmé would despise both of them if she knew what they got up to tonight when they left the gardens. Wouldn’t she? Not that he’d ever tell her.

Anakin’s mouth forms a thin line as he pushes the speeder into motion. The engine purrs near-silently as it’s guided forward. Anakin almost wishes it were louder so he could not hear Obi-Wan’s inhales and exhales—but then, he’d still be able to feel them, plastered to his back as he is.

He flies, with Kenobi’s loose instruction, to the sector and apartments the Count is renting out. All the lights but the ones illuminating the docking bay are shut off, the quarters completely dark.

Anakin pulls the speeder parallel to the docking bay and waits for the boy to slide off and onto the platform.

“Is this the trade then?” Kenobi asks lightly as he dismounts, his hands clutching each other beneath the too-long sleeves of the cloak when he stands straight on the safety of the docking bay. “I keep your cloak, you keep my speeder-bike?”

“I will have one of my aides return it to this address tomorrow,” Anakin says flatly. “But you can keep the cloak.”

“I don’t want your stupid cloak!” The words burst out of Obi-Wan, much louder and more fierce than Anakin expected. The boy’s hands make fists at his sides. 

He recovers quickly though. “Then what do you want, Kenobi? Because I can’t pretend I have the slightest idea!”

“I want—” the boy cuts himself off an scrubs his hands over his face so roughly that the cut across his chin and up his cheek starts bleeding once more. Anakin watches it re-open in the moonlight, Kenobi’s blood appearing more black than red. “I just wanted you to like me,” Obi-Wan finishes with a sniffle, voice breaking halfway through his confession.

Anakin clenches his jaw and looks away, feeling awkward and confused and strangely sympathetic. “You cannot force another into liking you, Obi-Wan,” he finally replies, cutting his eyes back to the boy’s pathetic figure. “It is not like one of your mind tricks.”

“I know that!” Obi-Wan says, “Of course I know that, I’m not a youngling!”

“You’ve been acting like one this entire night!” Anakin snaps back, sympathy draining away from him to make room for the anger.

Obi-Wan stills, and his eyes flash. “I can show you, Senator,” he says, tone changing completely. Becoming sultry. Dark with promise. He takes a step forward, allowing Anakin’s cloak to shrug off his narrow shoulders and pool around his feet. “I can show you I’m not a youngling…if you want…”

“What—”

Obi-Wan flicks his fingers through the air, and the speeder’s engine is sputters into idleness at the same time Anakin finds himself pushed roughly back on the seat, leaving just enough room for Obi-Wan to slither over his spread legs and sit himself in his lap.

“Kenobi—”

Obi-Wan’s arms wrap loosely around his neck. The only reason Anakin doesn’t shake him off is because he’d probably fall to his death off the docking bay just to be contrary.

That’s the only reason.

“I don’t want you to think of me as a youngling, Senator,” Obi-Wan murmurs, ducking his head and catching Anakin’s eye. “I’m not a youngling, and if we’re being honest, I’m not sure you’ve been looking at me like I’m one either.”

“Get off—”

“Exactly what I want, Senator,” Obi-Wan says, using his grip around Anakin’s neck to rock down against him. It feels good. Stars help him, it feels good.

And Obi-Wan must know it or feel his pleasure in the Force or something, because he smirks slightly, a crack of honest emotion in his seductress mask. 

It sends a pang of arousal up his chest at the same moment he finds the strength to raise Kenobi off of him and push him to the docking bay’s floor.

The little minx falls easily onto his back, spreading his legs wide as he props himself up on his elbows to pout up at Anakin. “Well now I’m just confused, Senator. Do you want me to act like a youngling or act like a man?”

Anakin exhales forcefully, hands clenching into fists on the speeder bike’s handles. His front feels cold; his lap too empty.

Palpatine was right. Kenobi is dangerous. Best avoided. Best to be put out of sight and out of mind. “I want to never see you again.” 

The words come out flat and robotic. He can’t even fucking blame Kenobi for laughing when he hears them. Anakin sort of feels like laughing at himself the entire flight back to his apartments.

When he wakes in the middle of the night, erection straining against the thin material of his sleep pants and Kenobi’s sweet face fading from behind his eyelids, he doesn’t feel much like laughing anymore. Perhaps more like sobbing, as if he were the young temperamental boy out of the pair of them. 

(Poll For The Next Part LIVE)

[queenerdloser]

reading baldur's gate fic is so funny to me sometimes because almost every single tav i've read is like. a nerd. awkward. stuck in a library/commune/forest and doesn't know How To Do People. combat unready. a wee paper slip of a person. self-doubting and uncertain.

whereas i am out here with my bard who dumped all her stats in charisma and perception and therefore is no longer able to fail a persuasion check. and my personal backstory for her is that she's an insanely well known frontman for a rock band in baldur's gate so literally everyone they meet knows who she is. nonstop flirt. clocks manipulation left and right because seeing through performances is like half of her skillset. oh yeah. and she can fucking oneshot you by being mean in your direction.

[kenjakusbraincum]

the neighbor shop owner was so fucking hot today

[totebagchicbariista]

god matty’s voice in the city - ep version will never not make me become a feral being

[bluedesertbruja]

bond didn't hit on christmas jones bc 1) he was going through it with elektra. 2) he thought she was a lesbian. and bc of that, the second half of the movie looks like he and christman jones are in a buddy cop movie and it's her first week as his new partner. zero chemistry here. like, she almost became his first friend of the opposite sex. the tacked on ending of them kissing and hooking up is so weird. that man is sad. let him be depressed while his new friend, christmas jones buys him a beer.