#HELL IS HERE
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Hell is Here from HIDE
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01.07.2023
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"Swift, swift, you dragons of the night, that dawning May bare the raven's eye! I lodge in fear. Though this a heavenly angel, hell is here."
William Shakespeare, Cymbeline
#William Shakespeare#Cymbeline#dragons#dawning#fear#hell is here#Shakespeare#Shakespeare quotes#British literature#English literature#drama#drama quotes#quotes#quotes blog#literary quotes#literature quotes#literature#book quotes
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The Undeniable Dystopia is Here.
Life is bad. Like shockingly, horrifyingly bad. Growing up really felt like living through a series of unfortunate events- I was certainly repeatedly traumatized. But I never had to fight for my life every single day. That's where we are right now, and yet 95% of people can't or won't acknowledge reality. Hell really is empty and all the devils are here.
We live in a cesspit of plague. That's the state of the entirity of the Western world. I didn't want it at the start because I knew I was more "vulnerable" to its effects. Now I'd avoid it with just as much effort even if I was the healthiest person on Earth. The vaccines didn't stop the death, they just made it slower so people wouldn't notice.
All around me the effects are obvious. Everyone is ill. "The worst colds ever" and "the first year they've ever had hayfever". Quality of life is plummeting. Life expectancy is plummeting. Workers shortages. The internet full of people begging society to change course but incapable of leaving their beds to plead in person. Babies born tiny and starved, the effects on their brains untold. Kids collecting autoimmune diseases like pokemon cards. More Strep. More RSV. Kid after kid with their limbs stripped to the bone to stop the bacteria killing the rest of them. Brain damage termed just "brain fog." Friends of friends dropping dead. Strokes galore.
But you only see it if you're willing to open your eyes.
I can't study safely. I can't sit my exams without risking another hit of the virus that has already left me more disabled. It's not safe to go to the shops. It's not safe to sit in my own garden without a mask. It's not safe to go to the hospital- I know for sure because that's where I caught it last time. Every possible step forward, every possible move, every single day, involves a level of risk I couldn't comprehend 4 years ago.
I don't have PTSD, because we are not 'post'. The trauma is still growing.
At uni, I sit there in full PPE. PPE I spent more money on than I can afford, as someone who lives on less than minimum wage. I look around the room for the seat with the best ventilation, the best chance of air flow. I'm not religious, but I pray. Because I cannot afford to become even more disabled and I cannot afford to disable the person I love most. And then in filter 200 people who no longer care who they hurt with what they spread. Most avoid me- an uncomfortable reminder of the ongoing horror. One decides to sit next to me, coughing, excitedly asking me if I will be joining them for post-exam drinks. Indoors. Unmasked. We live in parallel worlds and yet they cannot even acknowledge that much.
They jet off abroad. Go to clubs. Have a sniffle but visit gran anyway. I pay attention when watching shows set in other dystopias, taking note of how to clean and suture a wound at home if needed. We cannot risk the hospital. I grow vegetables as the online prices rise and we cannot risk a trip to the store. I'm reminding my family what's at stake and begging them to protect themselves because I can't lose anyone else. And I'm praying.
Once again, just like when I was a teen, I find my comfort in misunderstood monsters and outcasts. The lonely characters that the world hates, who break down in tears when shown an ounce of kindness. I get wrapped up in the fantasy of having a safe space where I can finally let my guard down just for a minute. Where I can finally feel seen and see a bearable future. And when I see their visible scars, I feel them too, and I struggle against the urge to make more of my own.
There's no one coming to help me though and no safety in sight. There is just endurance. Even what remains of the mental health service is useless- why would I explain my pain to someone likely happily spreading the very virus that has created this hell? And I can't ask for support from my uni- they've made their views clear that this is my "anxiety" and I'm merely "overly cautious".
But I caught it, so not cautious enough. And it damaged my already disabled body further, so not anxious enough.
The undeniable dystopia is here and there is no end in sight.
#pandemic#long covid#wear a mask#mask up#immunocompromised#covid#covid pandemic#covid-19#covid isnt over#dystopia#hell is here#dystopian#ptsd#trauma#depressed#depression#pain#defensive#mental health#agony#grief
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Don't worry,
This too shall suck.
#desi larki#exam season#pakistan#urdu aesthetic#just desi things#desi tumblr#desi academia#not aesthetic#hell is here
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yep. its boring already. dont you agree?
St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, October 4, 1909
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"Imagine still posting fanart a whole year after the game came out" brother what are you talking about
#the fandoms seem ti be moving on so fast what is this#im staying here for a while but what the hell#fandom rant#bg3
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Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin
#it is hell on earth out here#got like 6 different rejection emails today#so much fun /sarcasm#job hunting
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Whenever I see things about how to survive the zombie apocalypse itâs always, âBicycle this, metal armor that-â
SQUIRREL. SQUIRREL ARMOR. BECOME THE RAT, COWARD.
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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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Hey hey hey listen to me [snaps my fingers in front of your face] youâre not going to be mean to kids joining Tumblr because TikTok got banned right? Youâre not going to make fun of them because theyâre âcringeâ, especially on the supposed âcringe is deadâ app, right? Youâre not going to go out of your way to just be hostile to children because you donât like them, right?
âOh but they deserve it, theyâre annoyingâ cunts were saying that shit about you when you were âuwuingâ and âsmol beaningâ on here in 2015. Kids will always be annoying and your generation, nor will you, ever be an exception to that rule. This app isnât like an exclusive club, be fucking nice for once.
Edit: Since some people have brought it up in here tags
âMost of the TikTok kids arenât going here, theyâre going to Red Noteâ Thatâs fine, in fact, Iâm very happy to see the Chinese community there welcoming them with open arms! However, itâs not like we arenât going to have any kids join this site. Iâve already seen some join before the ban was imminent and most of them are children fandom artists. I stand by what I said, be nice to them.
If they donât understand the culture here, teach them in a way that isnât outright rude! Tell them about the lack of an algorithm and the fact they have to follow people for content! Tell them reblogs are more important than likes! Tell them they can leave notes for the OP or for the person they reblogged it from in the tags; that you can treat it like a little diary if you want!
And most of all, tell them that itâs okay, they donât have to censor themselves here. After years of being on that app theyâve grown used to it, but you have to get it through their head that censoring words like âKillâ âMurderâ âRapeâ âPedophileâ isnât helping ANYONE, theyâre just making it harder for folks who have those tags blocked to be able to filter them out. Help them kill the cop in their brain and make sure they donât fall into purity culture. Help them be cringe and free.
#Iâve seen some people being unnecessarily mean to kids on here recently and Iâm psi-blasting you into the sun#can yall be fucking nice to kids? theyâre going HELL these days and feel hopeless and like there is NOTHING they can do to stop it.#be kind; or at the very fucking least just block them. I shouldnât have to tell you not to send death threats to children.#tiktok#tiktok ban#prince rambles in this chilies tonight
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#girlblogger#girlblogging#girlblog aesthetic#this is a girlblog#just a girlblog#my girlblog#this is what makes us girls#girlhood#girlcore#im just a girl#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#just girly things#lana del rey#lana del ray aesthetic#hell is a teenage girl#what am I doing wrong#tumblr girls#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl boss gaslight gatekeep#gaslighting myself#lana is god#girl blogger#girl blog aesthetic#girl things#girl thoughts#i hate everything#i hate this#i hate it here#coquette
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(bellara/taash) nerd/jocks lovers rise up
#dragon age#bellara lutare#taash#bellataash#that's a nonexistent tag I'm just baptizing it in the hopes it takes off#I watched taash's romance just for fun and they are 1) corny as hell 2) it circles back into being endearing to me. sorry I love them#I do think there's definitely issues with things in their writing here and there don't get me wrong. but I AM obsessed with them#same goes for bellara tbh#anyway that's all I'll say I'm allergic to posting opinions online. do not contact me with unsolicited advice or offers etc#f
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Jason but he wears this helmet đź
#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#batman#my art#digital art#just something really quick because I saw these helmets for the first time a few days ago and have been thinking about them ever since#wonât tag dick because heâs not even really here#also dick doesnât know what heâs talking about cause those helmets are sick as hell#mister hypocrite DISCOWING grayson
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