#HEEELP HELP MEEEE

[simcardiac-arrested]

would it be okay if i rewatched ocean’s eleven for the third time or like ….

[snailsnaps]

NOOOOOOOO NOOOOO I DONT WANNA BE SICK NOOOOO AUHGGHHH

[r0zeclawz]

this "doctor house" show sounds pretty fun but i have such a phobia of needles im sure they wont do lumbar punctures every episode tho itll be fine!!!!!

[soliusss]

good afternoon chat this is my first time scultpingnplease be nice. it is ion

[acinonyxxx]

heyyy (with the intention of charging you every time you die in the mines even though we are married)

posted this to the wrong blog earlier soz i was tired

ref image under the cut

[rinneverse]

BRO I CAN'T FIND MY VAMPIRE BLADE POST....

[ynwa4eva]

Did sporty spice like sign a contract for this movie 😭

[ersatz-colubridae-888]

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I request Alex having a good day for once? My mans deserves it

theyre enjoying a nice book at home :]

also some doodles of them with winfrey that i forgot to post since that also kinda fits-

i think i forgot to,,,, hopefully i didnt forget eheh,,,,,

[lemmetreatya]

when i think of my snookums stink stink bookie pookie nut pumpy umpy umpkin baby onyankopon, i think of u/grownuprileyfreeman on reddit 😩 i be drooling a lil bit, im not gon front 🙁🤞🏽

oh baby boo when i tell you i downloaded the app, created an account and took off all the nsfw settings just to witness this real time….. AND WHEN I TELL YOU I GASPED?!!?!? stink stink’s voice is usually a lot deeper but the smoothness of this guy is so up his streeeeeet 😩🫶🏾💖 I just HAD to a lil schum schum to it

Based off of this audio

Triple N — Onyankopon x Fem!Reader

word count: 1.1k

content: afab!reader, fem!reader, established relationship, making out, slight dom!reader, use of petnames, handjob, male ejaculation

“G’morning baby…”

Turning onto his side, Onyankopon places a soft kiss to your collarbone. An automative action at this point. His eyes are barely opened as you nestle your cheek against the top of his head.

“Morn.” You croak back.

He kisses your skin again before asking: “What time is it?”

You know he has work today. It wasn’t usually his favourite thing in the world but just being able to spend these morning moments with him made it all the better. Slightly perking up, you squint to check the clock on his bedside table.

“Just gone pass six.” You say before resting your neck back down.

“Damn.” He mumbles and you let out a breathy laugh in reply. Onyankopon enjoys the way your laughter shortly vibrated within your chest, allowing him to feel motions, feel you.

“I gotta get up soon…but not yet.”

He lets out a sigh through his nose but he makes no effort to move away from you. Which in practice, means you could feel every part of him, including his poking morning wood against his leg. You slightly pause before asking him about it.

“Ony, you’re hard.”

You can tell the question has thrown him off guard, or at least confused him because for a moment, you feel him still.

“The fuck?” He grumbles. “Babe, it’s first thing in morning. How do you expect me not to be? Also got this sexy ass woman laying up next to me, rubbing on me all night. What else you expect?”

Valid response, but it doesn’t mean the problem was solved. Almost expectantly, your hand starts to wander deeper underneath the duvet.

“Want me to help you with it?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Why?” You frown.

“I’m doing Triple N.”

Without intending to, you feel your forehead crease with a frown.

“Triple N? No Nut November?” The man doesn’t reply. “Seriously Ony, for real?”

The lack of answer was all you needed in order to confirm that Onyankopon was indeed being for real. With a breathy snort, you snuggle into the man’s warmth with a faint smile.

“You’re gonna fail.”

Onyankopon makes a half choked noise.

“Fai— Oh, you have absolutely no faith in me.”

An unsure noise leaves your throat but your hands are soothingly running over the man’s arms. Innocent enough to be inauspicious.

“No, I’m sure you can do No Nut November easily. Your problem is me.”

By now, Onyankopon’s eyes have shot right open. You can tell by the way you can feel him blinking right into the skin of your chest.

“Oh, yeah you right. You know I can’t resist you.” He muses. “Which is even more reason why you gotta heeelp meeee not to looooose.”

Your lack of reply scares Onyankopon because unless you verbally agree to help him, he knows you’re not going to.

As opposed to giving a verbal answer, you instead only move your head down to capture Onyankopon’s lips into a kiss. It’s wet and slow — just like how you usually have it in the mornings. And Onyankopon enjoys it, almost a bit too much, because once you airily brush your hand alongside the upside of his dick, he shudders with a groan into your mouth.

“Baby, you’re making it hard for me.” He whines into the kiss.

“I can’t make it any harder than how much you’re willing to win.”

You don’t let up your actions as your brushing turns to delicate stroking and your throat starts to produce moans. Even Onyankopon, who feels so conflicted about his Triple N sabotage is slowly bucking his hips into the loose shape of your curved hand.

“Babe, please.”

He says, despite keeping your hands locked onto his shaft.

“You really telling me you want me to stop?” You muse.

“It’s No Nut November.” He huffs. “As long as I don’t cum, right?”

You raise your eyebrow in contemplation but don’t question his resolve. You both know you’re not kidding anyone with that excuse but it’s amusing to entertain the fantasy.

“Whatever you say. Just tell me when you’re close so I can stop.”

You quip with a shrug and so you continue to languidly stroke your hand up and down his shaft. And you figure that if he’d been as faithful to the challenge as much as he says he was, then he was going to be a lot more pent up than he’d usually be.

His moans are almond sweet but directed specifically for you. They’re so uniquely him but equally alien to hear.

It was then you realised how rare it was for you to ever take the reins like this.

“I…”

Onyankopon can’t even speak properly, let alone warn you when to stop. His mouth breathes hot air onto your collarbone because of how good you feel. Your fingers are ever so tailored to the shape of his cock, his tip your Frequent Friend and his veins a Forbidden Lover. You have such a relationship with him that you can only know how to please him properly despite him always being the one pleasing you.

“Baby, you’re close.”

You teasingly whisper the words just above Onyankopon’s cheek, his hands grappling at your warm skin in retaliation. The telltale signs of his impending orgasms are familiar to you now.

“Mmpgh.”

Still, he doesn’t tell you to stop, and so you can only take that as a sign to carryon.

“Oh, you’re so sexy like this.” With a grin you kiss just behind his ear. “Cum for me, daddy.”

His fingers are pinching at your skin now, whimpering for you to dare not stop. His slick hard cock so delectably ready to burst, you can’t help but edge him on more. It’s clear that you’ve neglected his goal of abstinence and that he was okay with that.

“Wanna have your cum all over my fingers.”

You finish with a moan of his name and it’s enough to easily push him over the edge, his hips stilling in a buck as he warmly finishes over your closed palm. As you continue to milk him to a halt, you undoubtedly don’t miss the small repeated huffs of ‘love you’ that Onyankopon was staining into your skin.

Once he comes down from his high, the man places a juxtaposing kiss to the temple of your head.

“God, that was hot. How can I not fuck you after that?”

Onyankopon hasn’t even given you a chance to lear your hand of his milky cum. He’s already fondling your body into an accessible position for him to slide himself into. You let him with no qualms but not without a raspy laugh.

“What happened to No Nut November, huh?”

You say with one of your thighs already being elevated from the crease of your knee. The man shrugs as he preps his cock at your entrance.

“I mean, I’ve already failed, right? Now I can go all out.”

[questdesign]

in one week i have a five hour long (with breaks) job interview GAAAAAAH HEEEELP HEEELP HELP MEEEE okay got that out of the way. but seriously every other job opportunity i was working on AND my unemployment benefits fell through so i really need this 😭 it's fine. help.

[hobgob-online]

my entire purpose is to hang from the wall and/or ceiling in sone vines or cocoon or whatever and be gaunt and horrible but somehow still alive and just like raspily say “heeelp… meeee….” and reach out for help from the protagonist

[simcardiac-arrested]

compensation :-]

CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME

[burdened-boy]

it's a great night for me to hang out in the middle of the woods and scream HEEELP HEELP HELP MEEEE as loud as i can

[skiddlecat]

heeelp. help meeee. heeelp

[a-tale-never-told]

Mngh... My master is in danger... I must get to him!

*Peko proceeds to muster all of the available strength she has in her tall, slim body and makes a quick dash to Fuyhiko's aid in restraining Kazuichi. However, before she even can have a chance to assist him, Mikan leaps on her and wraps her arms around Peko's body, successfully restraining her with her iron grip*

Hey, Pekoyama! I can play with this sword for a little while, right?

W-What are you talking about?

Hehe, just the tip! That's really enough... Any more than that... will be too much for a fragile, meek, woman like me to handle. So, Pekoyama?... Do you want to dance this tango?

Ngh!... Ack!.... Guh!...

*As Peko and Mikan begin starting their hormonal waltz, Nagito just sits there, uncaring of all of the chaos unfolding around him, looking at them with a joyous smile*.

Man... Hope is awesome. I think I can get used to this, hehe...

(Everyone's... acting uncharacteristically horny, and experiencing the same symptoms of the aphrodisiacs like me... I... I must find a way to stop all of this and cure my classmates... but... probably later.)

(Imagine if Hajime was here.... all of the wonderful memories I made with him, and yet I never told him my feelings towards him... I just want to squeeze him around his ring-like tiny neck, pinning him untill he cannot escape from my gamer grip... and then kiss him. Kissing him untill he has no choice but to submit to my womanly charms... removing our clothes and having premarital sex across the bedroom, so we can birth our precious baby, Hinata Jr...)

(Sure, Mom and Dad might question my actions about my way of affection towards him, with my perverted thoughts and weird expressions, but I don't care. I'm in love with him, and I'll fight till the ends of the planet to forever be with my Hajime... He can definitely have my body, my soul, my clothes, my games, anything! I'm devoted to him as if we were bound together by faith... What I would give to experience the joy of seeing his ripped abdominals... his shiny buttcheeks... his chestnut eyes.. and his beautiful voice.)

(That voice... it's so soft and angelic... It feels like a godlike deity descended from the heavens and chose me to become his bride... I'll be your bride, Hajime. After all... you can't play a co-op game without a Player 2, right? Uhe~~)

??? KYAAAA!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!

?!

*Before Chiaki can continue with her yandere-like thoughts, she's interrupted by a massive shout across the homeroom. Looking around for the source of the screaming, she sees a trembling Mikan on the floor, with her back against the wall and making a desperate attempt at defense by shielding herself with her arms. Standing in front of her is TeruTeru, giving Mikan a rather extremely horny look.*

AHH! You've awakened a certain lust within me the likes of which no mere mortal has ever known, TSUMIKIII!!

EEP!! K- Keep him away from me!! Get away from me!! If you want to play around with Pekoyama's sword, then that's perfectly fine! Just stay away from me!! I'll do anything for you to leave!! LEAVEEEE!!

Why, my darling. We haven't even started and already, you seem marvelously excited for our blossoming relationship! I'm gonna do a whole lot more than just playing around with toys! Now where do you want to start? Perhaps some appetizers, or if you so desire, we can get to the good parts and kick it off with the Main Course, if you know what I mean~

WAAAAAH!!! HEEELP MEEEE!!

SUPER SLAYING DRAGON FIST!!!

TeruTeru: AHHHHH!!... I regret nothing.

If you want to touch my classmates, you gotta get through me first.

I'm your classmate too, just saying.

Oh yeah *Collapses from exhaustion*

_______________________________________________________

Soooo, yeah. That's basically what happened that day. I don't know for sure if something else was going on when I was passed out, but that's the extent of all of it, I suppose.

Oh great so the sexy soup incident still occurred here. Wait…how did that even happen? Teruteru made the aphrodisiacs with Seiko’s help yes, but normally everyone goes horny because of a certain Ultimate Gremlin slipping it into the soup as a cruel prank. But she isn’t even a student here so how that still carry out as normal?

Ummm... It's a pretty long story. See, I dunno how it actually happened or what occurred behind closed doors with Hanamura and Kimura, but what I DO know is that during one of Miss Yukizome's attempts to make us bond, something strangely happened...

_______________________________________________________

April 15, 2012, Mid-Afternoon, Class 77th-B Homeroom.

Alright! Does everybody have a plate? Now, put your hands together.!

ALL IN UNISON: THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD!!

Give me some seconds, man!!

Ah! I'll get it!

*Takes a bite* Mmmmm...

*As Chiaki begins to chew through her food, she feels a savory flavor coming up on her taste buds, as the feelings of happiness wash over her, with a rainbow coming behind her.*

Haaahhh...

So, what do you think? It's absolutely the most divine culinary cuisine you've ever eaten, right?

Hmm... I've had better.

That's all I get after you ate that thing?! How ungrateful!

Oi! TeruTeru, where the hell are my seconds? I'm starving over here.

C-Coming! Though, maybe you start trying this thing called "Chewing". Helps a lot actually with preventing awful stomach digestion.

Yeah, I'm kind of inclined to agree with Hanamura on this. Akane, it's definitely far from healthy if you're constantly eating faster than us every time.

C'mon, live your life a little more, will ya?! Besides, Doctors said that I've got one hell of a stomach if I'm able to stuff this much meat down my throat, so it's all perfectly fine! No need to worry.

*Sigh* Whatever you say...

The entire dish is simply marvelous from beginning to end! The flavors are exquisite and edible at the same time. It's just simply great! I can't wipe this grin off my face!

[stranger-downthe-hall]

Who wants to move in with me? We can finish this quarantine together

Or die trying