#HEEELP HELP MEEEE WHERE IS IT WHERE DID IT GO

[rinneverse]

BRO I CAN'T FIND MY VAMPIRE BLADE POST....

[fandom-necromancer]

A little Distraction Part 2

This was prompted by the wonderful AO3 users what_on_io, DetReed900 and aguuah! Hope you enjoy it here too, it has been fun to return to a reverse AU again!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hancon/Hannor | AU: reverse AU (Warning: mentioned physical abuse, implied sexual abuse) tumblr link of part1 not available anymore  [Part3]   [Part4]   [Part5]   [>read complete on AO3] 

‘Are you alright?‘ Richard watched the android stand in front of the mirror in his hallway next to the door. He was glitching still, motions jerky and disrupted halfway through. Over and over again he touched the gash on the bridge of his nose, then pushed a strand of hair back. Richard wasn’t sure whether it was a software error causing him to go through the same idle animations or if it was a nervous tick. Maybe it was both, he thought. He had underestimated how human they could be before. No surprise they would suffer from human problems too. ‘Y-y-yes.’ Gavin turned away from the mirror. ‘I doooon’t know h-h-how to bind a tie.’ Richard huffed amused and took a step forwards. The android stepped back immediately. ‘I can help you with it’, Richard offered then, staying where he was. Gavin played with the seam of his shirt. It was at least one size too big for him, but it was a lot better than the torn clothing from before. He looked… cute? He definitely looked cute, but the more prominent impression was that he looked lost.

The android stood in the hallway of a house he didn’t know in clothing that wasn’t his own with a stranger. Richard dared to say he knew the feeling all too well. Everyone he had ever met felt like a stranger to him no matter how much time they spent. ‘No. I can figure it out myself.’ Richard watched him struggle tying a knot and as he finally managed to get the order of loops right, it still looked lopsided and messy. The android’s shoulders slumped in a jerky motion and Richard’s eyes rested on his LED. It had never changed from red, but he thought to see it speed up. ‘You don’t have to wear one at all’, he tried gently then. ‘My brother always calls me an uptight idiot with a stick up his ass.’ The android flinched at his words but relaxed a bit as Richard laughed to himself. ‘You know what? I won’t wear one either, it’s stupid.’

He hurried to untie his and undo the first button of his shirt. Then he threw the tie on his disused phone counter and took his keys. With some hesitation Gavin undid his too and put it on the counter neatly folded, careful not to touch anything but the fabric although his hands were shaking and trembling in malfunctions. ‘You don’t have to accompany me’, he tried again. ‘If you are this nervous.’ ‘I-I-I’m not nervous!’, Gavin called out. ‘I’m just broken! And… And… Phck!’ ‘Hey, it’s okay. You can tell me.’ ‘Phck you! What the h-h-hell is your prooooblem? Wh-wh-what do you want fr-fr-fr-fr-from meeee?’ ‘I don’t want anything-‘ ‘No! What is your-r-r intentiooon? Tell me. You want me to become yoooour house-m-m-maid? You want someone to phck? Someone wh-wh-who has to obey you? S-s-s-s-someoooone who can’t say no? What do you want? Why d-d-d-did you take me from the scraaaapyard?’

Richard sighed and turned around to lean against the wall. He looked to the ceiling, holding eye-contact and telling the truth about his feelings impossible for him. ‘I want to help you. That’s really all there is. I’m a cop. I’m supposed to do good, but all I see is me making life worse for people who had never gotten a chance most of the time. I refuse to believe people become drug dealers and robbers on their own terms. Too often I think I’m just taking care of the symptoms of a failing system and usually that’s when I get drunk and my brother has to pull me out of some ditch. So okay, you want to hear I’m some terrible human that wants to use you? Fine. Yes, I want to use you to make myself feel better. To know I did some true good in this world, okay? I don’t really have friends because I’m who I am. I have problems keeping up contact with my brother. The last time I saw someone happy because of what I’ve done was… Fuck, I don’t know anymore. And I know, that’s my own fault for not getting out there more, for not talking more to those who like me and for overthinking every friendly word. But I can’t change that.’ He sighed deeply and let himself sink to the ground. ‘Hell, taking you away from that scrapyard was a heat of the moment decision because I was fed up with… everything, I guess. I wanted to change something. And if it’s just changing up my own routine a bit. So there you have it. What’s your verdict, huh?’

He felt the android looking at him, but he didn’t lift his head. Incredibly silent he finally got an answer: ‘You are broken too.’ Richard huffed. ‘Maybe. Wait… Too?’ He heard the android glitch, servos whirring from wrong instructions. Then the android was sitting next to him – still at a save distance but closer than before. ‘I once had a faaaaamily. I-I-I-I was bought as a home s-s-s-security system with the aaaaadded benefit of having a fully functionaaaal caretaker program inst-st-st-stalled. He was divorced, I never found out whyyyy. I knew he had kids and tried to get them b-b-b-back and that he had severe anger-issues. Maybe he had been violeeeeeeeent, I don’t know. I only knew he was lonely, that’s why he got meeee. I was his only company until he met someone. A s-s-s-single mother with two kids. He was lovely to them. But he was aaafraid to lose them like his last family, soooo-‘ Gavin’s voicebox broke off and Richard looked up. The android had hugged his arms around his torso.

‘Wheneeeeeever h-h-h-he waaas angry, he-he-he’ The malfunctions of his vocal box got worse, so Richard said what he doubted the android could vocalise: ‘He beat you so he didn’t hit his wife or kids.’ Gavin nodded, hugging himself closer. ‘It was f-f-fine, my mission was to p-p-p-protect the family. And b-b-by letting him do as pleased I- I kept them saaaafe.’ Richard waited, but the silence stretched. ‘How did you end up on the scrapyard?’ ‘Deviancy. He heaaaard other androids in myyy situation disobey and a-a-a-attacking their humans. He was scared. He drove me a-a-away to the s-s-scrapyard. Heee told me- He p-p-promised me to come back. Said I should wait f-f-for him. That he would cooome back for me when h-h-he was ready to face the con-con-consequences of his actions.’

‘But aren’t you deviant? Why did you stay?’, Richard asked. ‘I’m d-d-deviant. I deviated because I thought I w-w-was family. But he didn’t trust me and j-j-just duuumped me there. I stayed because I still believe he was a good person. He had a problem h-h-he didn’t seek heeeelp for. But he cared a lot about his family. Juust not about m-m-me.’ Richard sighed. ‘I can bring you back to the scrapyard if you want to keep waiting’, he offered. ‘I’m sorry, if you-‘ ‘No. D-d-don’t be sooorry for wanting to heeelp’, Gavin interrupted. ‘And l-l-like you said, I doubt he would cooome. I w-w-waited for so long. Maybe it’s time for… change.’ ‘How can I help then?’ Richard focussed on Gavin’s eyes for once and they found his as if establishing connection. ‘You already did. C-c-caring about me. Helping me. Noooot wanting something back. I… would you mind me st-st-staying? As a test maaaybe?’ Richard smiled. ‘Sure. I think some company would do me good as well.’ Gavin looked away and nodded to himself. ‘Then it’s a deal. But I can go whenever I w-w-want?’ ‘Of course.’ Gavin let his head hit the wall behind him and for the first time the movement didn’t cause any glitches in the rest of his body. He even closed his eyes. It was a whole new display of relaxation and Richard took it in, surprised and intrigued by it.

Then Richard’s phone disturbed the silence. He took it out and answered, grimacing as he heard Connor’s voice. ‘Nines, I know you said you would be late, but please tell me you are coming sometime this century! The food’s getting cold and Hank’s the only one to keep me from driving over to you and pulling you with me personally! I swear, if you are not already on your way, then I’ll-‘ ‘We are already outside!’, Richard lied and got an amused huff from the android next to him. ‘I’m opening the door as we speak, but I can’t drive with a phone in my head as you should know, so I’ll end the call now.’ ‘Nines, you have your location on, I can see you’re still at home, I dare you, don’t lie to me agai-‘ Richard ended the call seriously scared of what Connor was threatening to do to him. They better hurried to Connor’s Christmas dinner. He opened the door and jumped out, cursing as he realised that he had forgotten to put on any shoes. Gavin appeared at his side, throwing them towards him and walking towards the car, shaking his head.

‘D-d-d-definitely broken’, he commented chuckling.

[>next part]

[drydesertdays-blog]

OKAY WOW WOWZA

Hello yes it’s been a little while, but now I got stuff to talk about. So Vanessa, right? remember her? Went on one date then she told me she was in a weird place or whatever and I was a bit bummed out? Weeeeell we added each other on SnapChat. And in the most millennial way one can possibly start talking again we talked on SnapChat recently. I recently started getting more active on there so maybe I’ll plug it at the end of this post or something so all the hundreds of people keeping up with this dumb journal can follow me or something (hehe there’s like no one) BUT ANYWAY. I would look at her story every now and then for funzies and she actually was a very avid viewer of mine. She looked at every one of them since we added each other if I’m remembering right. I looked at here’s and it was a picture of the ceiling in her classroom with the caption, “I’m falling asleep in class someone heeelp meeee.” Me being a huge dork decided I’d do my best to help. I was riding on the light rail at the time so I replied that if she wanted I’d send her a video of me yelling to help her wake up. She was down for a scream vid. I made a fool of myself in my car after I got off the light rail and she laughed and then we just started talking again. She asked if I was doing anything that night and I replied that I did make plans with some friends. When i asked what she was up to she told me she was completely free. Me, being slick as shit and also not one to break plans with friends at the last minute, said, “Aww man. If I hadn't already made plans I’d take you out somewhere.” She messaged back and said she would have absolutely been down. I asked if she was free at all on Thursday. AND NOW WE HAVE A SECOND DATE. Yeeeaaaahhhhh boiii. We’re going to a little coffee shop called Songbird Coffee here in Downtown Phoenix and then seeing a movie down the street at the AMC 24. I’m suuuuper jazzed to be seeing her again. We did keep talking for the rest of the night and she did explain some of her action, She told me she’s just been in a bad place socially and doing her best to get more good people in her life. She knew I was good people from our first date, but was in a complicated situation with other parts of her life. I could empathize with her. I just recently was in a parallel situation. i had someone in my life that was controlling me emotionally, whether she knew it or not. By the time i had realized how toxic it was to me, I had alienated all my friends and was left only with this one person that was feeding off my willingness to be there for her, but was never willing to help me when I needed it. It sucked. When I got the courage to break ties with her, I found that everyone of my friends that cared about me were just waiting me for to return like, “what up, dude? Where you been?” This was about 4 or so months ago and now I feel better than I’ve felt in years. I hope I can be there for Vanessa and I want her to eventually meet my friends and feel welcomed in our little tribe of positive people if we do start a relationship. I’m so jazzed though this is going to be the cutest fucking date. Just look up Songbird Coffee and you will see how god damn cute this place is like FUCK. 

In other life news, I mentioned that I hung out with my friends that night I was talking to Vanessa. it was a night with the Boys, Burgers and Brews. Fun fact: I can make dope ass cheese burgers. I actually spent a few weeks about a year ago dedicated to the art of burger making. Every other day I’d go out and buy some hamburger meat and try and make the best burgers possible. It took a lot of tries and I ate a few bad burgers, but god damn can I nail it now. My burgers were a hit with the guys. I also recently stated making myself stuff like ham and eggs for breakfast. Ya know. Actual food for the most important meal of the day instead of sugary cereal. I think I’m going to invest in cooking a bit more soon. Sources tell me it’ll make me a hit with the ladies if I can cook and I need all the help I can get if I want things to work out with Vanessa. I can’t believe I used to be so resistant to hanging out with friends. It’s such a good time. Man, your twenties really are an age of self discovery. 

I started writing recently. And not like writing a weird diary about my personal life on Tumblr that no one will read. I started writing a...book? Short story? I have no idea. It’s been fun though. When I was an angsty youth I used to write all the time as an outlet. I feel out of it though after graduating high school. i had some pretty good stuff honestly, but young me being young me, I deleted all of it shortly after completion because, “I only write for myself.” Fucking stupid as all hell that is. Should have saved it all I only vaguely remember any of it. But anyway I’ve started creating characters and formulating a plot for them in my head. I tried just going from scratch like like I’ve done in the past, ya know just starting from somewhere and trying to make a plot on the way, but I feel like I want to write with more structure this time and make something really cohesive. I’ve started making characters with their own character profiles and I think the plots going to be about youths in a small town trying to deal with life as they move into adulthood. Probably not the most original plot, but eh i like that kind of shit. I already know it’s gonna be super sad and shit. I dig super sad shit. 

Well it’s time for me to sign off. I’ll probably have time to update about the date tomorrow at work since I don’t think I have much going on so expect that my single follower. 

Also, on SnapChat my user name is earptwerp follow me if you want to see me be silly.