#i’m honestly just an unsettling fellow

[hobgob-online]

my entire purpose is to hang from the wall and/or ceiling in sone vines or cocoon or whatever and be gaunt and horrible but somehow still alive and just like raspily say “heeelp… meeee….” and reach out for help from the protagonist

[ultralightpoe]

Busted - Ethan Landry

Authors Note: First Ethan imagine, take it easy on me 

Warnings: ghostface, death, mentions of sexy times 

Word Count: 1485

Description: Ethan lays out the rules for the slasher movies, and you notice that he pretends not to know when the slasher becomes real 

If you like Taylor Swift then look at my request event for April HERE!

Enjoy!

The apartment door had 6 locks on it, and there was something odd about that to you. 

Mindy claimed that it was completely normal, considering what Sam and Tara had gone through, and bragged about the taser she kept in the nightstand of her dorm room. Anika laughed and claimed that it was hot. 

You were still left unsettled by the locks on the door, and you still had no clue what they went through but it seemed extremely rude to ask so you kept your mouth shut until you were in Ethans dorm later, on the floor playing Uno. 

Chad had left for one of his classes a mere 15 minutes ago and you were trying not to let the awkwardness of being left alone with your crush get to you. Not that anything helped considering you were still a blushing mess. 

“Hey, uhm Ethan?” You ask, voice hesitant as you finally get the courage to speak up. His head snaps up from the deep concentration he had on the cards “I had a question about….well your friends….”

You had met Ethan before you had met any of them, having been sat next to him in Film Studies, ignoring the stupid commentary of your fellow classmate Jason Carvey. Ethan had kept forgetting pencils and you kept supplying them, then you went to share headphones when you forgot your pair and he had a good taste in music. 

Then he introduced you to his roommate Chad, where you met his twin Mindy and her girlfriend Anika all the way to the sisters Tara and Sam and their new roommate Quinn. It was a lot of people for you and honestly you felt awkward and quiet whenever you were near them. 

“What about them?” He tenses up, cheeks falling red as you stare back at him. 

“They keep talking about something happening to them and well……I don’t want to be a dick and ask because that would be way out of line and they are pretty vague about it all so I was wondering if you k-”

“You don’t know?” He laughs, instantly dropping his cards, which left you thankful cause you would have lost judging by the amount of pick 4’s he had. 

“No?”  If it was possible his face seems to light up even more and he scoots forward until his knees are touching yours. 

“You know about Sidney Prescott right?”

“The chick that inspired all those Stab movies?” 

“Yes her. So basically Sam and Tara lived in the town that those all took place and there was a copycat killer that found out that Sam is the daughter of Billy Loomis-”

“Who is that?”

“Billy Loomis is one of the original killers.”

“Got it.”

“So they survived a ghostface,” As he is explaining it all he pulls out his phone and shows you photos of ghostface and Sam all bloodied up leaving the house where the murders took place. An uneasy feeling rises in your gut but you push it down, leaning forward to set his phone down. 

“No more.” 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, eyes flashing concern as he leans his forehead against yours. 

“It’s all just so….. terrible .”

“Well I’m glad you know. Being around that group is a hazard.” 

“Then why do you hang around them?”

“Because he’s my roommate.” He shrugs, but something seems off with him as he stands and heads to the mini fridge to grab two drinks for you both. “By the rules of slasher films if you don’t know what happened before you are either the first to die or you’re pretending cause you’re the killer.”

“I’m sorry?” You laugh, flicking the cards away, fully invested in the conversation now. “Rules?”

He turns, eyes on you as he pretends to be dramatic. “RULES TO SURVIVE A SLASHER! RULER NUMBER ONE, NEVER HAVE SEX-”

—--------------------------

The thought that this was happening because you had sex seemed quite funny in retrospect, but it’s the first thing you think when you hear the news of Jason. 

You had been disappointed earlier when your boyfriend had canceled plans but as you sat in his lap now, watching your shared friends panic about the current events and try to figure out what to do, you were thankful that you spent some time studying. 

“You okay?” He whispers, leaning so his chin rests on your shoulders as everyone keeps panicking. 

“I feel sick.” You admit, turning to touch your foreheads together, something you had been doing long before either of you admitted your feelings for the other.  “Based on the slasher movie rules….because I lost my virginity to you, that means I die right?”

“Those are fake.” He sneers, as if angry at the thought. 

“Well you said-”

“What are you two over there whispering about?” Mindy sneers, making you blush. 

“What’s happening?” Ethan asks, pulling you closer to take most of Mindy’s attitude. “Why is everyone freaking out? Who is a ghostface?”

“Come on Ethan, catch up.” Anika snaps but you are frozen in his lap, an unknown feeling rising in your chest.

What was it he said a couple months ago? Something about- 

“Y/n?” Someone calls, and you cannot answer, eyes connected to the screen of the tv as a mask appears. 

—----------------------------------

It was a different feeling from hearing about ghostface to being actually chased by a ghostface and you were absolutely terrified. Tears were leaking from your eyes as the masked figure banged against the door, blood covering most of the floor where Quinn was stabbed. 

“Oh my god ohmygod-” You sob, hand covering Anika's wound as the red leaked out and she began spitting blood. “NONONONO-”

Sam taps your shoulder, urging you to the window where the ladder had been sat up, trying to get you to go. 

“No, her wound-”

“Y/n! GO!” Mindy snaps, her back against the dresser as Sam helps you crawl up. 

“I can’t.” You sob, pushing Sam to go first. “I will help Ani-”

So you wait as Sam crosses, holding the ladder as she does so before you call for Mindy who kisses her girlfriend before crawling herself. “Ani come on-”

“Go. You go Y/n.” She whines as the banging begins to get harder when ghostface breaks through the dresser a bit more. 

A few more moments of arguing before you both are on the ladder, you in the front with her holding your ankles to follow. Both of you were sobbing while the three on the other end screamed for you, yelling about the masked killer behind you. 

Turning, which if Ethan were here he would correct, and seeing the man right at the window, tilting his head when you look back. 

“Shit shit shit.” You curse, trying to go faster and slipping a bit. The ladder slides to the left, and you slip some more since you are covered in blood but the gloved hand of the killer catches it before it could tip you over. 

Not risking it, you rush forward, letting Sam's boyfriend grab you into the window as you turn to see the Ghostface begin hitting the ladder harshly to knock Ani off. 

—-----------------------------------------------

You were sitting between Tara and Mindy, Chad on Mindy’s other side as tears slid down her face. Right down the alley held Ani’s body and you were doing your best not to throw up, holding yourself as you began to rock back and forth, 

“Y/N!” Someone shouts and you see Ethan running up with his backpack, a worried look on his face. 

Mindy snatches your forearm as Chad stands up to shove him back, Ethans eyes widening. 

“Back the fuck up!”

“Whoa man, what’s going on?!”

“You claim to know nothing about Ghostface all this time and the second you disappear my sister loses her girlfriend when we all get attacked?” Chad scoffs and that gut feeling rises again. 

“I WAS AT CLASS!” Ethan argues, lunging for you again and getting shoved back once more. 

“Rule number 6.” You mumble, everyone looking to you as you wipe your eyes.  “Rule number 6. They claim not to know about it then they are either first killed or the killer in disguise.”

“She’s right.” Mindy nods, more tears sliding from your cheeks. “I’m with Y/n on this one, nerdy white boy is suspect number one.”

Busted.

Ethan looks at you, something in his eyes before he shoves Chad back and moves closer. “If I’m the suspect then keep me in eyesight right? But I need to make sure you are okay.”

His hands are on your arm in an instant, following the trail of blood and looking for a wound. “Where were you hit?”

“She’s the only one that wasn’t stabbed oddly enough.” Mindy sneers. “Would make sense now.”

Ethan glares, pulling your face into his chest and although everything in you screams to run away you sob anyways.

(my first ethan imagine so please take it easy. If you like taylor swift then look at my request event HERE!) 

[p1x1x]

O o o o o can you describe the dynamics between Insight and Maya that you use? 😌

i initially didnt wanna answer this bc i am trying to explore this a little bit through lagrange and insight art but 😔😔 i’m very slow and impatient . and honestly i havent fully fleshed out everything so i might as well word vomit here. subject to change in the future, but for now…

what initially draws insight to maya is what maya represents to her. this “love” she has for people, for worlds, for what’s left behind, also extended towards maya. it didnt feel quite “romantic” and felt more like a “god loves all” vibe to me at first. but insight’s heart has never been set so aflame to this extent, so she’s really into “inspecting” maya…

personally i think there’s some different intention as to why insight, and let’s be real, pretty much assaulted maya (i honestly dont know if you’re allowed to say the actual terms here but i dont want to try tumblr lol). not that whatever intention would make it okay irl (that should be a given) but as far as the minds of fictional characters go—this sort of abstractish idea she’s been chasing is finally before her. after watching from afar for so long, she finally has something tangible, a form to work with…

(but then again, maybe she is just a gay freak yk. Damn they really wrote that in!!!! but yeah i like to think she’s making sure maya was “real”… in a way that was super weird. who can stop her though she’s got god-like powers…)

i like to think the “unraveling” nature that both maya and lagrange experience are the same… that everyone’s “construction” here is made up of glass—very, very fine glass thread. it’s one of the laws of arcaea, maybe, in the same way atoms make up our world… or something like that. anyway, while it probably happened just because insight was doing some fuckery with her powers and pulling her out of arcaea (and thus outside the laws of arcaea)… the idea of breaking something down to its very base construction seems like something insight would do to get to know this real, natural wonder of a miracle. nothing like the artificial miracles made by fellow seekers : P

i haven’t really seen anyone talk about it anywhere… but insight finding the making of miracles by her (or presumably any other seeker’s) hands unsettling is Interesting to me… enough to leave to search… it’d feel like it’d make sense if she just thought it was “boring” given her dramatic nature, but it’s discomforting. yet she loves other worlds, other things left by dead creators and im just. Wondering why… maybe bc i make stuff i think its an odd view and im probably really delusional right now considering i think she is set up to be an antagonist to arcaea or whatever and Oh look they’re starting to converge character stories together haha.

(i think this is a point of interest between lagrange and insight… insight might question the “honesty” of these miracles, could they even call them “miracles?” but in a jabby way… but lagrange’s line of thinking to me is “nothing happens without reason” even applied to “miracles”: that in their god-like state, of course miracles would be something that’s just made, it’d feel like a miracle to humans anyway…)

(so perhaps it’s the “certainty” of it all that she finds discomfort in, the rigidity that comes with a song, a lullaby, a Prediction… and why she loves arcaea for its uncertainty, fragility, birth from Emotion rather than logical structure (lagrange did say arcaea lacked intelligent design lololol) she still finds looking at the creations of other things fascinating but arcaea is truly something different in this universe…)

Tangent aside back to shikimaya: insight loves maya for what she is. i do like to think she’d try to find out everything about her (hobbies… singing? what else might maya like?) but the way she wants to know feels so separated as a person if that makes any sense? it doesnt make the love any less real its just Really weird. but she loves wholly!! i dont think she’d ever stop loving!!! truly fascinated!!!!

as for maya -> insight… maya is scared as fuck at first but it’s like. Hey i did wish for pain. and despair. it’s not like the guilt went away when she decided to walk the path of light. she did find understanding with those sad memories after all, now familiar in certain despair… but its never said what form insight keeps maya in when she takes her, so i just assumed she’s still in that string state… without her physical senses in tact, it feels like she’s barely existing in a void (like lagrange in the End). but its not by her own will, so there’s the fear factor adding onto losing all sense of time. the only thing that could come by in this state is insight herself—so for her own sanity she clings to her presence, otherwise she’d just have to be there as a… string of consciousness… she uncomfortably likes insight at some point (there is nothing she can do so. brain might as well try to feel Somewhat Fine with it. Copium. at least insight would never hate her (she has shown nothing of the sort ever)

really weird codependency (on one side at least) yuri to me. i dont know anymore .i like to make stuff up. i need to sleep

[sirianasims]

Chapter 1

Humble Beginnings and Weirdly Colour-Coordinated Aliens

This is Alexandra Duchelli, or Alex. Welcome to this legacy challenge simlit story, where we try to experience as much as possible. Right, Alex?

“Awesome, legacies are so much fun! Big houses, amazing clothes, great adventures! I can’t wait!”

Uhm, Alex? You’re a founder. You don’t have any money, remember?

“Oh. Crap.”

Yup. So you better start earning some money so you can get a roof over your head as soon as possible.

“I don’t even have a toilet!”

There’s a bush.

“… Right, better get going.”

After Alex grumbles through the first chords, we try the city to see if we can get some tips.

Poor Alex isn’t having much luck, and mostly receives smug looks from stuck-up townies.

Giving up on the tips for now, Alex goes to the karaoke club to brush up on her singing skills as well. You can’t be a singer-songwriter if you can’t sing.

This is also a great time for you to socialise, Alex! You should try meeting some new people.

“Some of these townies are a bit too friendly!”

Oh shush, stop complaining.

“Seriously, can I go home? Everyone in this city is weird!”

Oh come on, you’re just overreacting because you’re embarrassed that someone saw your attempt at swiping a drink. Maybe stay on the right side of the bar next time?

“No, I’m serious. There’s a man and a small girl outside just… staring… at a brick pillar.”

… Fine, you can go home.

“I’m not sure this is better.”

Shush, we need to get enough money that you’re allowed to get a job. And the tips are too slow.

“Isn’t it a bit counter-intuitive that I need to earn money before I can get a job?”

I don’t make the rules, Alex. Besides, I’m busy worrying about the aliens.

“The aliens?”

Yes. Apparently, the aliens are flocking to Oasis Springs, and somehow they mostly manage to be beautifully colour-coordinated. It’s honestly a bit unsettling.

Anyways, we need to find you a husband, This is a legacy, after all. How about this handsome fellow?

“Uhm… he seems a bit bookish. What about that hot guy over there?”

Oh honey. That’s Don Lothario. He’s bad news, you won’t get anywhere with him in a legacy, he’s non-committal. He’d be great as one of those enemies you’re supposed to get, though?

Alex catches up with the neighbours and even scores a dinner invitation to the Caliente house.

Nina: “Oh yeah, Don lives here too. Mom moved him in, she claimed she thought he would be a great fit for me or Dina, but I think she really wants him for herself. Anyways, no one is getting anywhere with him, he’s completely useless.”

“Alright, I’ll give up on Don. I guess I’ll find someone a bit less…occupied.”

Alex, who are you talking to? You should be in bed, or, I mean, tent, those skill points take energy.

“Oh, I just met these guys. This is Johnny and Malcolm. Apparently they’re brothers but there’s a lot of drama going on in the family.”

“Eww, can I have something else to eat soon?”

I mean, sure, you can buy all the food you want, but then it’ll just take longer for you to get a job, and thus to get a husband and a roof over your head?

“Dammit!”

As we head to the museum, I wonder. Is throwing up on a canvas art?

We also need those handiness skills, so Alex starts some woodworking.

Meanwhile, I am distracted by the amazing choice of shoes here.

Alex, wasn’t there a vase there, just a second ago?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

And so it continues on, with dumpster meals…

… voice training…

… more dumpster meals…

… and more impeccably clad aliens.

next

[findroleplay]

🌊 (OCxOX, F4A, 18+, ADV LIT/NOVELLA)

Anyone want to play against a mildly unsettling and occasionally blood thirsty mermaid? If so, stick around!

Mer-May might be over, but my love for merfolk is carrying into June with an absolute vengeance. So I’m here, begging the good people of tumblr to indulge me!

My character is named Luu’la, and she’s a deepwater siren native to the rough, northern seas. Sirens are of course known to lure sailors to their deaths with their dazzling beauty and enchanting song, but in a part of the world where storms are so choppy, few dare venture out? It’s hard to find victims to drag below the icy depths. Even harder when you’re a siren without a song, addicted to elixirs that have slowly reduced your voice into little more than hushed whispers and choked mumbles. Luu’la is pale and somewhat frail looking, with shark like teeth and pale, unfocused eyes. Her scales equally pale and easy to spot amidst the dark water she inhabits. I’m working on a ref that I’d be happy to share!

Now for YOUR character- I am honestly not picky at all. I love to character build and honestly just. Please info dump your OC lore on me, I LIVE for it. A pirate, a sailor, a fellow mermaid or siren? Perhaps a fisher or a wandering explorer/traveler who ventures too close to a cave she frequents. I’m open to any gender of characters, and am super open to this being in a DnD Sort of fantasy landscape. Bring thou orcs and wizards!! I’m down!! I’m also interested in including NSFW topics, VERY interested, but I’m also fully comfortable excluding it. Anyways!

Pop me a request on Discord at Pinkghostie. I usually reply quick!

-

[cryptidsncurios]

Hey so ya know how people will often categorize people as either a cat or a dog depending on their behavior? If not that’s what I’m doing right now:

Kuja

Abandoned as a kitten but now absolutely demands attention at all times

Will yowl for it in fact

However, he hisses a lot too so… figure it out

Despite all that, he’s incredibly smart and always graceful everywhere he goes

The most luxurious, pristine white fur bc he’s a Turkish angora—so do NOT mess it up by petting it the wrong, or you’re getting the teeth or claws. Likely both, actually

If he warms up to you, he’s all about cuddling and purring and doing that cute little “mrowp” thing

But still don’t stop paying attention to him

Kimbley

A bombay cat that just appeared in your house one day and refuses to leave

Don’t worry though, he’s well-behaved…

…okay well not COMPLETELY. You’ll find dead critters around your house more often than not, but hey! Pest control!

Seems not to sleep. Get up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and he’ll be on the couch, staring at you with those unsettling gold eyes

Never meows either. Just stares. O-O

In the slim chance he actually takes a liking to you, some of those critters will be found on your bed, or at your feet if you’re around. As presents, of course

Murdoc

The saddest stray you’ve ever seen

Like, feral

Kind of looks like an incredibly scraggly lykoi cat, but sort of not really

Probably was living dumpster-to-dumpster until taken in

But other than his rowdy behavior, and penchant for tearing up furniture, and need for constant rounding up from wandering outside and startling the neighbors, he’s really actually quite loveable. Honestly!!

Playing music can calm him down from acting wild. He’ll just lie down and listen to it

Really, once he gets the love he needs, he’s a loyal companion

…he will need to bite every now and then though

As a treat

Xigbar

The dog of the group!!! A silver and black borzoi, in fact.

Exhibits goofy behavior for the most part, but is actually extremely smart

Like, the sort that knows how to turn knobs and open cabinets to find things he wants

Definitely a mischievous fellow

However, with any new individual he deals with, he’s very cagey until he recognizes that the person isn’t threatening

Has one eye (obviously) and a lot of scars, but no one knows how that happened since he had originally been a stray as well (Hmm, seeing a pattern with the muses here…?)

Chooses who he stays with. If he doesn’t like you, you’ll see hide nor hair of him again

[chlorinecake]

"The Sheep's Garden" title is so cute I was almost deceived. Almost. I read it and went back to stare at it mindlessly for a good few minutes after realizing the ominous undertone associated with it. It's literally, genuinely unsettling. You portrayed the title's essence effectively in your story too like... and even though it was twisted I admit feeling a somewhat shameful attraction to it 😅 *I'm crying*

I'm glad @/starrywonie and @/@hee-pster encouraged you to start a blog❤️ and replying to ur answer on the previous ask, half of my family are teachers and unfortunately I didn't inherit their smarts in math but I think I'm doing quite fine in the literature department. Ofc my literature and writing are still in the process of progressing because I genuinely feel there's so much out there that I can learn from. but the love for arts runs in the family and so much like u, it's been something I've known all my life. Seeing as we're a bunch of artists in different fields, writing, painting, any forms of creation! I think my love for writing truly blossomed at the end of 2018, and 2019 is when I took up the challenge of bringing my thoughts to life. I started on wattpad and somehow gained an audience which literally shook me because It was just me ranting on and on. I had a lost to say and people seemed ready to listen. I had a 1D phase🙈 not surprising lmao, and that brought me to wattpad, kpop made me stay, and kdramas officially opened that gateway for my writing journey to begin.

Despite occasional glitches and hiccups, the engagement and interactivity of this app are pretty good so I stay🫣 but lately, I'm mostly lurking. I think @/starrywonie is slowly getting antsy. I can see her eyes twitching from across the world. 🫣🤭

─ Hayzie

Ugh 😩 I absolutely LOVE the way you describe things… but yeah, this story in particular has ALWAYS been a ~special~ one for me to write, and as much as I try to prevent it by making Jungwon progressively more insane with each update (👹), the readers keep falling for his twisted ways :’] I guess that’s the charm manipulation *cries with you*

I’m really thankful for discovering those blogs when I did, too, hehe 🩵 That’s really interesting tho how half of your family is made up of educators and artists across different fields… most often than not, mathematics just doesn’t translate well with ppl more geared towards literature and the arts, so you’re not alone 🤧. And omg, the 1D era was such a time to be alive 🫠… I was never really a huge fan of them growing up bc I was honestly more of a JB girly (still am 🥲) but can I use the word bias for a non-kpop group 😭 ?!? Idk, but basically I’m just curious as to who your favorite member was back then…

“Kpop made me stay.” This is a crazy line bc it makes me realize just how much music affects our lives in so many different areas.

And yes ☝️ Tumblr is infamous for her MANY technological inconsistencies, but its always fun to hang around here either way… whether that be as a fellow writer… or lurker 😶‍🌫️ And OOP- Nanaa ~~~ your virgo is showing 🤭

[ncisfranchise-source]

With Part 1 of its freshman finale, NCIS: Sydney uncorked quite the callback, by revealing that the “pregnant” woman who nearly got Mackey, Evie, Blue and dozens of others suffocated to death in an old bunker was in fact the blonde spy who eluded capture at the end of the series’ pilot.

Yet while it might seem as if Special Agent Mackey (Olivia Swann), Sergeant Jim “JD” Dempsey (Todd Lasance) et al now have the upper hand, the abduction of JD’s son Jack, in Part 2 of the finale (airing Tuesday at 8/7c on CBS), will thoroughly and harrowingly complicate matters. TVLine spoke with Lasance about JD’s imminent dilemma, Season 2’s “big finish” and his hopes for any possible Season 2.

TVLINE | I have been enjoying the show, and the first part of the finale was gangbusters. TODD LASANCE | Oh, thanks, brother. Honestly, and I don’t want to be biased, but I think [the finale] is going to be my favorite episode. And here’s a bit of an interesting note: one of my audition scenes was from the final episode. We had a couple of scenes from the first episode, but then some of the big, heavy, emotional stuff was in my audition scene before I even got the role. It was interesting to see how they had plotted that and where that scene ended up fitting in.

TVLINE | Looking ahead to Part 2 of the finale, what kind of a prisoner is Georgina’s “Ana Niemus” going to be? Oh, she’s not going to be a very compliant prisoner — that’s for sure. What I love about what Georgina did is there’s something under the surface that you know is unsettling. In the final shot of Episode 7 and the opening elements of Episode 8, you’re like, “Something’s not quite right here.” The team can sense it, as well. And when I played it as the actor, there’s an unsettling element for JD. When he’s watching her, you can see behind his eyes that he’s like, “Something’s not adding up.”

The payoff is huge in this episode. Even if, say, you haven’t watched NCIS ever in your life or never seen any of this season, this episode is such an amazing piece of what we did and what the showrunner and the writers and the directors did, as well. The tone of this show within NCIS is usually a lot more lighthearted and fun, so to delve into this kind of emotional realm was super exciting.

TVLINE | Talk about the personal element for JD that’s teased in the promos, involving Jack’s abduction. Being a father myself — I have a daughter who’s 7, and we had our son while I was shooting [Season 1] — there was a lot going on for me, personally. What I love is where JD crosses the line between the badge and what’s right as far as law enforcement, and what it is to be a father and family man. It makes the audience question themselves: “What would you do? What would you sacrifice for the ones you love, whether it’s a brother, sister, son, daughter, best friend…? What would the lengths be that you’d go to, to protect them, to save them?” All while knowing you took that oath as a law enforcement member, and the obligations that go with that. But every decision that JD makes — and a lot of things do cross the line — I personally would also have done, too.

TVLINE | Without spoiling anything, what kind of a cliffhanger will this finale leave us with? Are lives in jeopardy, or is going to be like, “I can’t believe what I just saw/heard”? It’s everything. Lives are in jeopardy. “I can’t believe what I’ve just seen.” The enemy is revealed on such a larger scale than what I think people realize.

TVLINE | Morgan O’Neill, the showrunner, is from Sydney, but I’m wondering if for you as a fellow Australian, did the dialogue and slang always pass muster? Were you ever like, “I wouldn’t quite say this”? Or did you ever add in a little Australian flavor? Adding is the biggest thing. Morgan’s writing has been phenomenal, and we also have separate writers who write each episode or a block of episodes. What’s been exciting for me, as an actor, is allowing to trust myself, but also Morgan trusting me with the improvisation that I add to a lot of the scenes, particularly with comedy. I like to see what I can get away with on-camera, and they tend to keep most of it in.

To add to the question that you’ve asked, the writers and Morgan actually start writing for you. They see the dynamic that you’re starting to bring, the little nuances, the comedy. Same with with Sean [Sagar as DeShawn]. He is funny, man, and we’ve got a great brotherhood in real life. Because of the improvisation that we bring as actors, they’re starting to write a bit more toward that. If we have series (seasons) onward from this, it’ll get even more nuanced, and that chemistry and characters will build even more.

TVLINE | Do you have anything on your wish list for any possible Season 2? Like, do you want to know the results of the ladies’ Kiss-Marry-Kill game? [Laughs] That’d be great. I’d love to know that one.

Obviously, I want [the finale’s big reveal] to come to fruition and we work all that stuff out, but I also want to get into action sequences again. I want to get into some shootouts, car chases, some big-scale action things, because that’s what NCIS is known for.

I also want to explore the family dynamic side of things. This is a dream series for me because I get to play with the comedy, with that cheeky “ribbing each other” element, and also be the straight cop/leader, and then I get to go with the emotional element of the relationship with the son and my ex-wife and the breakdown of that relationship. The sky’s the limit for us.

TVLINE | As we speak, we’re still waiting on any Season 2 news. What’s the best time of year to be shooting in Sydney? Isn’t it, like, 108 degrees for you all right now? Look, I’m not going to lie. Where we are — I live in the Gold Coast — it is hot today, but it’s always hot and humid up here. I love it because it’s so tropical. I think mid-year is usually fairly controlled because it’s sort of winter, but our winter isn’t like Georgia’s or anything. It’s not, like, snowing in Sydney, so we can still get the beautiful days!

[reaperbabegaming]

When the Night Comes Game Review

Reviews can contain a few spoilers. Heavy, in-depth spoilers will have a warning. All opinions are my own and I have not been paid to do this review.

Dev Team - Lunaris Games Romance Routes - 6 individual and 2 polyamorous routes Rating - M17 Available On - Windows, Linux, Mac Price - $12.99

Overall Rating 5/5

Summary (retrieved from Lunaris Games website)

When The Night Comes is a queer, narrative-driven, supernatural visual novel originally released for free over a year from October 2018 - November 2019. When The Night Comes: The ReVamp is set to release in late Spring 2021 and will be a definitive version of the original game with a number of improvements, including voice acting and updated UI and artwork. 

Play as a renowned Hunter; a creature slayer who has been called to the quiet, strange little town of Lunaris to assist the local Enforcers with an investigation into a series of unsettling and unexplained supernatural murders. Immerse yourself in the world of witches, vampires, demons and lycans as you slowly unravel the dark mystery that lies deep within the roots of the town.

The question is, are the creatures of the night the ones you should really be afraid of? 

A story of finding a home and a family in the most unlikely of places, and a lesson in learning to bare your teeth at your maker.

Reaper Review

When the Night Comes was a game that I had no intention on loving. I was dipping my toes into playing dating sims/otomes on stream and I really liked the art style so I decided to play it and it was the best decision of my life.

The city of Lunaris is cursed by an unknown creature, leaving its citizens living in fear whenever night falls, especially every few days when the beast habitually hunts. 

You play as a Hunter (fitting huh?), called in by the Lunaris Hunter team to help them put an end to the attacks. With customizable name and pronoun options, you’re slowly introduced to the main cast who are primarily all your romance options. 

CAST (in order of appearance):

Ezra (VA - Adam Faison) He/Him : The local witch with kind eyes and a heart to match.

Finn (VA - Gideon Emery) He/Him : Vampire clan leader whose comments made me blush on more than one occasion.

Augustus (VA - Jonah Scott) They/Them : Major General of the Hunters and one of my all time favorite romances.

Piper (VA - Ione Butler) She/Her : Fellow Hunter with the cutest laugh and loyal to her comrades to a fault.

Alkar (VA - Jalen K. Cassell) He/Him : Resident mischievous Lycan who honestly shouldn’t have as bad of a reputation as he does.

Omen (VA - Chris Patton) He/Him : Cinnamon Bun of a demon who is too good for this world.

Throughout the game you meet side characters, work with the main cast, and investigate as much as you can about the creature that stalks the town. While it is an otome, the level of mystery in the game about the investigation and deaths is quite high and I found myself falling deeper into the story that when the big reveal came I was overcome with emotion. You find out just as much about the MC as you do about your companions and the mystery of the town.

One thing I appreciated was that there is no split between romance and story either, but rather the romances add to it, showing in their own ways how they grow to care about you and your wellbeing as the MC. The characters also have moments with each other, not just in the polyamory routes but in friendships and when you learn about their intricate backstories with one another. The banter between them all is on another level and I’m especially fond of the end of the game when all of the main cast come together in one big plan to find the beast and destroy it for good. Nothing annoys me more than being engrossed in a story only to be then thrown into lovey-dovey mode (and don’t get me wrong I love lovey-dovey mode). 

Other things to note:

There is a festival scene which you can explore and spend time with your LI with a beautiful CG (a special full-screen static image) at the end of the moment that I just wanted to stay in forever.

Clear heart icon for dialogue options that are explicitly for romancing a character. So if you don’t want to romance anyone you can easily do it or on the other hand if you want to lock in a romance you don’t have to stress about what to say.

All of the best lines have voice acting however I’d say only about 75-80% of the game has voice acting. It’s a little annoying but only because I love the cast so much.

There are over 60 CGs and post-game mini stories (which I actually didn’t learn about the post-game stories until I was writing this…time to go play again!). 

Of course bad endings are possible…but to be totally honest I’m too scared to play that route!

Lastly, my favorite part of the game would have to be the spicy scenes with your LI, if you so choose to pursue them. Without being visually explicit, you get to enjoy some sweet sweet spicy time with your favorite characters and this is where the voice acting is present a majority of the time if not completely. Now I love me some spice, but sometimes CGs can put me off from it. I prefer to imagine what’s going on rather than be shown AND if you’re trying to play sneakily, CGs are just a huge announcement to what you’re doing. The script is so well done that in my opinion CGs aren’t necessary.

This game has all of my love and I’d recommend it to anyone and everyone, so if you’re looking for a story with mystery and well developed characters I would say you’ve found it.

Purchase the game HERE.

[mrsbsmooth]

Scripts - S7 - Episode 11 (Part 1 of 2)

Obstacle course, chat with Evan.

NARRATOR: It’s the first night in the main villa for the Casa Amor girls.

NARRATOR: The bedroom forecast is cloudy with a chance of frost.

NARRATOR: Cloudy, because of all that hairspray being spritzed around.

NARRATOR: Frosty, because of the looks {0}’s ex is throwing at {1}.

NARRATOR: Tonight, my bedroom is hot! I was eating chillies in bed but that’s my business. Anyway, onwards!

You walk into the bedroom with your head held high and slide into bed beside {0}.

He smiles and you sense he wants you to move closer to him.

Scooch closer

You shift a little closer to {0}, his eyes light up.

{0}_FLIRTY: Hey there, {1}. Been waiting for you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Hey! The wait is over.

{0}_FLIRTY: It was worth it already.

Stay where you are

You stay still.

{0}_IDLE: Hey, {1}. You good over there?

PLAYER_IDLE: Hey, yeah, I’m good for now.

{0}_IDLE: I get it. Things are a little awkward in here tonight.

{0}_HAPPY: I can only promise that I don’t really care.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m just looking at you.

Say you’re thinking about {0}

You glance at your partner, with a worried expression.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: It’s a bit awkward with {0} here.

{0}_IDLE: Don’t look so worried, {1}.

{0}_IDLE: Little bit of awkwardness is natural.

PLAYER_IDLE: I guess so.

{0}_HAPPY: But trust me, I’m not bothered by it at all.

PLAYER_IDLE: Aren’t you?

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m just looking at you.

You can hear a few giggles from the various beds as your fellow Islanders settle down between the sheets.

BONNIE_HAPPY: Goodnight, party people!

BRYSON_HAPPY: Oh, are we partying? Get these lights off, where’s the music?

BONNIE_HAPPY: Why did I say that?

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Knew I’d make the party, just sayin’.

JOYO_IDLE: Go to sleep, you hyper bunch.

ALEX_HAPPY: That’s my villa dad-status line, Joyo.

UMA_HAPPY: Goodnight, <i>main villa</i> so happy to be here.

EVAN_HAPPY: Night night newbies… and not-so-newbies.

EVAN_HAPPY: I’m sure I’ll get to know you all better when the sun comes up.

DAPHNE_HAPPY: Same here!

A chorus of goodnights echo from around the room.

Just before the lights flick off, you notice Estelle giving you an awkward look.

Just before the lights flick off, you notice Willow giving you an awkward look.

Just before the lights flick off, you notice Geri giving you an awkward look.

Just before the lights flick off, you notice Daphne giving you evils.

Evan gives you a little nod and a lingering smile.

Bonnie smiles at you sweetly, and waves you goodnight from across the room.

{0}_IDLE: How you feeling? Tell me honestly.

I’m actually good!

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m actually feeling really good!

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m not about to let anything bother me on my first night in the villa.

{0}_HAPPY: Damn right. Love that about you.

{0}_IDLE: You don’t let other people’s opinions bother you.

Feeling a bit unsettled

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: I’m feeling a bit unsettled, won’t lie.

{0}_IDLE: I could see it in your eyes.

{0}_IDLE: I got you though. Remember that.

I’m still working that out

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m still working that one out myself.

{0}_IDLE: Today has been a big day.

{0}_HAPPY: Just remember, I brought you back for a reason.

{0}_IDLE: {1}, I’m thinking we should keep it respectful tonight.

His eyes fall to your lips.

{0}_FLIRTY: But looking at your lips is giving me other ideas.

{0}_FLIRTY: One kiss wouldn’t be bad, would it?

Kiss him

PLAYER_FLIRTY: One quick kiss, nobody will see…

{0}_FLIRTY: An under the covers kiss…

He reaches for the duvet and pulls it over your heads. You let him draw you close to his chest.

Your lips find his in the darkness. You kiss, quick but deep.

Your hands wrap around his torso and hold him close.

{0}_HAPPY: Goodnight, {1}.

Hug him instead

PLAYER_HAPPY: I think we should stick to cuddling tonight…

{0}_HAPPY: Your wish is my command, {1}.

He draws you into his sculpted arms and you lay your head on his chest.

He holds you close and whispers in your ear.

{0}_HAPPY: Goodnight, {1}. I’m glad you’re here.

Not tonight

PLAYER_IDLE: We should just sleep tonight.

{0}_IDLE: Of course, {1}. If that’s what you want.

You settle down under the covers.

{0}_HAPPY: Goodnight, I’m glad you’re here.

You drift off to sleep, excited for your first full day in the main villa tomorrow.

You wake up to the sound of {0}’s voice.

{0}_HAPPY: Go away, golden retriever boy! She’s waking up.

{0}_HAPPY: I really don’t want her first sight to be you dancing in your pants.

Your eyes flutter open. Rafael is at the foot of your bed swaying to and fro whilst waving his arms haphazardly in the air.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Erm, too late.

Rafael scrambles back to his bed where a bemused looking Daphne lies rubbing her eyes.

RAFAEL_HAPPY: I’m just so happy to be back in the main villa!

{0}_HAPPY: Go away, Bryson. She’s waking up.

{0}_HAPPY: I really don’t want her first sight to be you dancing in your pants.

Your eyes flutter open. Bryson is at the foot of your bed swaying to and fro whilst waving his arms haphazardly in the air.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Erm, too late.

Bryson scrambles back over to his bed.

BRYSON_HAPPY: I’m just so happy to be back in the main villa.

{0} rolls his eyes.

{0}_HAPPY: Sorry you had to witness that.

What a wake-up!

PLAYER_HAPPY: What a way to wake up!

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, Raf.

RAFAEL_HAPPY: No probs, {0}.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, Bryson.

BRYSON_HAPPY: Pleasure.

{0}_HAPPY: There’s never a dull moment in here.

It was… unexpected

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: It was pretty unexpected.

{0}_HAPPY: I wasn’t planning on you waking up to that.

{0}_HAPPY: But there’s never a dull moment in here.

I’d prefer to wake up alone with you

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’d rather wake up, just you and me. Alone…

{0}_FLIRTY: Oh yeah?

{0}_FLIRTY: Now that you mention it… So would I.

As you look around the room, you catch the end of Bonnie’s sentence.

BONNIE_HAPPY: …Slept like a log, whatever the heck that even means?

PLAYER_HAPPY: I was going to ask, how was everybody’s night?

BRYSON_HAPPY: Yeah, as you can hear, me and Bonnie had a wild night.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: A wild night of sleeping like logs.

BRYSON_HAPPY: Your dream, Alex. Alex the carpenter. Get it? Log?

ALEX_HAPPY: Stop, please.

JOYO_IDLE: Well whatever sleeping like a log means, I enjoyed it.

JOYO_FLIRTY: Alex? Any ideas… You’re the log man.

ALEX_HAPPY: Not a clue.

BONNIE_IDLE: I was just so tired from the day. I went off to dreamland pretty instantly.

She steals a quick glance at you.

UMA_HAPPY: Not all of us went straight to sleep…

BONNIE_HAPPY: Uma!

Alex and Uma smile at each other and join hands.

Bryson and Uma smile at each other and join hands.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: Summer, Joyo! I see you both over there, grinning away.

BRYSON_HAPPY: Joyo, are you blushing?

JOYO_SERIOUS: I don’t blush.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: I do though…

ALEX_HAPPY: Daphne? Raf? Does it feel good to be reunited?

DAPHNE_HAPPY: Oh, uh-huh. I actually missed the boy.

RAFAEL_HAPPY: I’m feeling very good.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: TMI.

RAFAEL_EMBARRASSED: That’s not what I meant. I don’t think…

You throw a glance over at Evan and {0}. Evan looks chilled. He’s contorting his arms into different stretches.

JOYO_IDLE: You doing a full-stretch routine over there, Evan?

EVAN_HAPPY: You know it, man. Always gotta start the day on the right side of the bed.

EVAN_IDLE: This helps.

BRYSON_HAPPY: You do that before bed too?

EVAN_HAPPY: Sorta, different kinds of stretches. Stuff for my hammies, my neck.

EVAN_IDLE: Lying down stretches to get me all dozy.

RAFAEL_HAPPY: Sounds like something we could incorporate into bedtime boy time.

EVAN_HAPPY: Bedtime what now?

ALEX_HAPPY: Oh yeah, we didn’t have time to initiate you last night.

JOYO_IDLE: But your time will come.

EVAN_HAPPY: I’m intrigued.

BONNIE_IDLE: How are you doing this morning, {0}?

DAPHNE_IDLE: I’m chill. This is gonna take a bit of getting used to.

DAPHNE_SAD: All my girls are gone…

BONNIE_EMBARRASSED: Damn. Yeah.

UMA_IDLE: We can be your new girls.

BONNIE_EMBARRASSED: Right sentiment, wrong wording maybe, Uma.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Argh.

SUMMER_HAPPY: We’ll be here for you. We’re looking forward to getting to know you.

{0}_IDLE: I’m chill, I think. But this is gonna take a bit of getting used to.

{0}_SAD: Nearly all my girls are gone…

DAPHNE_HAPPY: You still got me.

{0}_HAPPY: Apart from you, Daph.

BONNIE_EMBARRASSED: Oh, right, yeah.

UMA_IDLE: We can be your new girls.

BONNIE_EMBARRASSED: Right sentiment, wrong wording maybe, Uma.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Argh.

BONNIE_HAPPY: We’re looking forward to getting to know you both.

I’m sure we’ll all be friends

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m sure we can all be a cute lil’ friendship group.

{0}_IDLE: I hope that’s the case.

{0}_IDLE: I just can’t be sure of how things will go down yet.

Her eyes jump to {0}.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Who knows what twists are in store for us?

It’ll be tricky to be friends right now

PLAYER_IDLE: It’ll be tricky to be friends right now. Not everybody can get along.

{0}_IDLE: I hope we can get on.

{0}_SAD: A lot changed last night.

{0}_IDLE: I just can’t be sure of how things will go down yet.

Her eyes jump to {0}.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Who knows what twists are in store for us?

{0}’s eyes lock onto yours. You can’t quite decipher the tone of her expression.

The bedroom falls a little silent.

{0}_IDLE: Let’s swiftly move it on.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: So, um…

UMA_IDLE: {0}, you didn’t fill us in on your night.

Brag about your night

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Well, we got kinda hot and heavy under the covers.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Um…

Bonnie’s face falls slightly.

UMA_FLIRTY: Good for you, {0}.

{0} shifts uncomfortably, her eyes focused on you and {1}.

Be honest about your night

PLAYER_IDLE: We kept it chill.

PLAYER_IDLE: We had a little kiss. That’s all.

Bonnie’s face falls slightly.

PLAYER_IDLE: We had a little cuddle. That’s all.

PLAYER_IDLE: We went to sleep, that’s all.

{0}_IDLE: We were trying to keep it respectful.

He looks at you with a hint of longing in his eyes.

{0} looks over at you both, her face is slightly relieved.

Keep quiet

PLAYER_IDLE: I’d rather not report.

UMA_IDLE: Heard, keeping it private for now?

{0}_IDLE: I think we’re just trying to be respectful.

{0}_IDLE: Hmmmmmm. No comment on that.

Your phone pings from the bedside table.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’ve got a text!

You grab the phone and read out the text.

LITEXT: Islanders, today you’ll be taking part in the Making Waves obstacle course challenge! {0}SurfsUp {1}RideTheWave

BONNIE_SURPRISED: Girls, to the dressing room?

UMA_SURPRISED: Let’s go.

You all jump out of bed and race to the dressing room to get ready for the challenge.

The dressing room has descended into chaos.

Bonnie and Summer are rifling through the wardrobes and tossing things out of suitcases and onto the floor.

Uma stands over them, shaking her head in shock.

BONNIE_SURPRISED: Somebody remind me to be more organised in future.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Would that make a difference?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Probably… Not.

BONNIE_HAPPY: I’m looking for my SPF moisturiser.

SUMMER_SURPRISED: Why is my smoochie grapefruit lip balm in your suitcase, Bonnie.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Smoochie grapefruit?

SUMMER_FLIRTY: That’s what it’s called.

UMA_IDLE: Girls, gamefaces please.

Bonnie is tossing things out of her suitcase and onto the floor.

Uma stands over her, shaking her head in shock.

BONNIE_SURPRISED: Somebody remind me to be more organised in future.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Would that make a difference?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Probably… Not.

BONNIE_HAPPY: I’m looking for my SPF moisturiser.

BONNIE_SURPRISED: Aw, I found Summer’s smoochie grapefruit lip balm in my case!

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Smoochie grapefruit?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: That’s what it’s called!

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Oh, excuse me whilst I look for my browy wowy eyebrow kit.

BONNIE_HAPPY: I’d buy that.

DAPHNE_HAPPY: You two are like a comedy duo.

{0}_IDLE: Are they always like this?

Yup, we have a blast

PLAYER_HAPPY: Yeah, we have a blast together.

PLAYER_HAPPY: We’re close already. You have to be in Casa Amor.

{0}_IDLE: I can see that.

{0}_HAPPY: It’s kinda nice.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Makes me miss the other girls though.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You’re all kinda the reason they’re gone…

DAPHNE_SURPRISED: Be nice, {0}. They did what we’d have done.

Reckon you can fit in?

PLAYER_IDLE: Think you can fit in?

{0}_IDLE: Absolutely, you all seem like fun girls.

PLAYER_IDLE: We do try.

{0}_SAD: It is making me miss the other girls though.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You’re all kinda the reason they’re gone…

DAPHNE_SURPRISED: Be nice, {0}. They did what we’d have done.

{0}_FLIRTY: Just stating facts.

No comment

PLAYER_IDLE: No comment.

{0}_IDLE: Just making small talk.

{0}_IDLE: Gotta make some new friends, since you all kinda sent mine home.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Jeez.

DAPHNE_SURPRISED: Be nice, {0}. We’d have done the same.

{0}_FLIRTY: Just stating facts.

UMA_HAPPY: Moving on, I’m actually buzzing for this obstacle course.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Though I’m not sure how coordinated I’ll be.

UMA_HAPPY: Me and surfing don’t go so well together.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m thinking I’m gonna smash it, semi-pro athlete after all.

BONNIE_HAPPY: Oh yeah, this challenge was made for you.

PLAYER_HAPPY: As long as we give it our sexiest try.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Exactly, treat it like a show.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Joyo won’t know what hit him.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: It’ll either be my butt or my hair, when I work it on that course.

UMA_FLIRTY: I need to keep making an impression on {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: Especially after our bedtime makeout session.

You let out a wolf whistle.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Get you.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Snap! It was like a sauna under the covers with me and Joyo…

UMA_HAPPY: I could’ve definitely taken it further.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: But of course the other girls only just left.

UMA_IDLE: Plus, it’s good to hold back. I want this to be a real connection.

UMA_FLIRTY: Not just mindless stuff, I’m bored of that.

BONNIE_IDLE: I hear you.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: That’s why there’s really only one person I want to work it for today.

She flexes her bicep and you notice the curve of her muscle.

She catches you looking. She chuckles softly.

UMA_SERIOUS: We should finish getting dressed.

UMA_IDLE: Then we can go and… Erm stretch or something? Is that right?

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Yeah, limber up, touch your toes, get that blood pumping.

You open the closet.

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m cool with this fit.

UMA_IDLE: Consider this, {0}.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: You might not be the only one competing for {0}’s attention.

{0}_IDLE: I think I might have the edge with my look today.

UMA_IDLE: Take another look maybe?

Ok, I’ll check again

I like my current look

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m into this one, for sure.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Stunning! Really brings out your eyes.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: And your figure too.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Oh man, you do look gorgeous.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks.

{0}_FLIRTY: Luckily, so am I. I guess {1} won’t know where to look.

PLAYER_IDLE: I actually like what I’ve got on.

{0}_FLIRTY: Fine by me.

{0}_FLIRTY: You all scrub up pretty well.

{0}_FLIRTY: There’s a lot of gorgeousness present in this room.

DAPHNE_HAPPY: I second that.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Angels, the lot of you.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Aw, thanks, Daphne.

Bonnie flutters her arms out like wings.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: No halos here though.

{0}_IDLE: But…

UMA_IDLE: Are buts ever a good thing?

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Not buts, but butts.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Now that was a tongue twister.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Not buts, but butts.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Now that was a tongue twister.

{0}_FLIRTY: But… I might steal this challenge, girls.

You gotta back that up

PLAYER_IDLE: Ohhh, you gotta back that up!

PLAYER_IDLE: That’s a bold statement, especially if you’re wrong…

{0}_HAPPY: I’m not wrong, trust me.

I might steal it

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Absolutely no chance, girl.

PLAYER_IDLE: Not when I’m your competition.

{0}_IDLE: It’s on, {1}.

I love a bit of healthy competition

PLAYER_HAPPY: I do love a bit of healthy competition.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: May the strongest girl win.

{0}_HAPPY: Oh, I intend to.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’ll be seeing you girls down there.

She saunters out of the room, touching her hair as she goes.

Daphne’s eyes dart round the room. She gives you all an embarrassed smile.

DAPHNE_IDLE: I’ll go down with her, make sure she’s good.

She waves a little awkwardly before leaving you and the girls alone.

UMA_IDLE: I believe her, you know.

BONNIE_EMBARRASSED: She does have that unshakable air of confidence.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: I have to admire her for that.

UMA_SERIOUS: But we don’t want her to grab all the attention.

Uma touches your arm.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: Don’t let her steal your limelight, {0}.

UMA_FLIRTY: Or your man!

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I hear you, Uma. Let’s get out there and crash this course.

You lead the charge. The girls follow you in single file, whooping and hollering as they go.

You and the girls reach the challenge stage, the energy is infectious.

Evan is leading the boys in an intense stretching warm-up.

EVAN_HAPPY: Wrap your arms around your waist, keep your torso facing front.

EVAN_IDLE: Then twist your upper body and crane that neck round to look over your shoulders…

EVAN_HAPPY: Ready for the…

A few of the boys sigh with relief.

BRYSON_HAPPY: Oh sweet release.

ALEX_HAPPY: You boys need to chop more wood. It really frees up the tension.

RAFAEL_FLIRTY: I don’t think I have space in my London flat for much wood chopping, Alex.

ALEX_HAPPY: Ok, good point. Might be a locational thing.

EVAN_HAPPY: Wood chopping weekend at Alex’s asap?

ALEX_HAPPY: Oh lads! I’d love to host ya.

You clear your throat.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Hey gorgeous girls.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: What if the girls wanted to come to the wood weekend?

{0}_FLIRTY: She’s got a point.

BONNIE_HAPPY: Heh. Wood weekend.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Was waiting for somebody to make a little double entendre.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: Bon you’re on my wavelength.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Was waiting for somebody to make a little double entendre there…

ALEX_FLIRTY: Girls are definitely welcome on the wood weekend.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: Hot.

ALEX_IDLE: Just be prepared to get splinters.

BRYSON_EMBARRASSED: Not so hot.

You all turn to face the obstacle course.

It consists of a crawl tunnel, sand dunes to navigate over, a sexy slide and paddling pool with a surfboard for the grand finish.

BONNIE_SURPRISED: That actually looks intense.

{0}_FLIRTY: Feeling the pressure?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Never.

She raises her eyebrows at you and smirks.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I’ve got surf skills for days…

Uma holds the first card up to the excitable group and explains the rules of the course.

UMA_HAPPY: Each Islander must conquer the course in their own unique sexy style…

UMA_HAPPY: Do your best slow-mo run over the sand dunes.

UMA_HAPPY: Crawl through the tunnel, slip down the slide.

UMA_FLIRTY: Before surfing in to snog the Islander of their choice at the finish line!

{0} holds up another card.

{0}_HAPPY: There will be a secret prize, to be revealed later on, for the Islander who did it sexiest… {1}SexyShowTime {2}SlipNSmooch

UMA_HAPPY: What are we waiting for?!

BRYSON_HAPPY: That’s it, Uma’s going first.

You all gather at the sidelines to cheer her on.

She stands with her hands on her hips waiting to begin…

UMA_FLIRTY: It’s showtime.

Cheer for Uma

PLAYER_HAPPY: Come on, Uma! Knock ‘em out, girl!

You lead a cheer. Everyone joins in, clapping and wooping for Uma.

UMA_HAPPY: I appreciate you, {0}.

Smile at Uma in support

You smile at Uma and give her a little thumbs-up.

UMA_HAPPY: Thanks, {0}.

The other Islanders start clapping and wooping with support.

UMA_HAPPY: Thanks everyone.

Stay quiet

You stay quiet as the others cheer and woop with support for Uma.

She doesn’t seem to notice your silence.

Uma smashes the course with an air of power and confidence. Moving over the dunes in a sexy surfer run.

She slides her way down to the slide where she grabs {0}.

With a fervent look in her eyes she ends by kissing his face off.

ALEX_FLIRTY: Wood weekend might be starting a little earlier than anticipated…

UMA_HAPPY: Alex!

BRYSON_FLIRTY: That was such a me-coded joke. Proud of you, my man.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: Oi, Alex, wood weekend might be starting a little earlier than anticipated…

UMA_HAPPY: Bryson!

ALEX_HAPPY: I’ll get my axe.

BRYSON_SURPRISED: Ouch!

{0} follows Uma’s lead and tackles the course with the same sexy confidence, making the girls swoon.

DAPHNE_FLIRTY: Dang, he’s got it.

UMA_FLIRTY: And he’s all mine.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: I’m drooling a bit.

BONNIE_HAPPY: Eww.

He doesn’t hesitate to give Uma a scorching snog at the finish line.

UMA_SURPRISED: I’m blushing. I was so composed a second ago, I swear!

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m glad I have that effect on you…

Bryson puts on a show.

He thrusts his hips to propel himself down the slide.

He gets stuck in the tunnel and bounces over to the dunes like an oversized turtle…

BONNIE_HAPPY: I can’t look away.

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s fascinating.

SUMMER_HAPPY: He is pure and utter chaos.

UMA_HAPPY: Whooooo! Go Bryson!

BONNIE_HAPPY: It seems to be having quite the effect on Uma.

UMA_FLIRTY: What can I say, I love a boy who commits.

He doesn’t hesitate to give Uma a scorching kiss as he whizzes over the finishing line.

Bonnie is up next. She grins and puts her hand on one hip.

BONNIE_HAPPY: This could be interesting.

She starts off a little awkwardly, wobbling as she goes over the dunes.

She manages to catch herself and style it out with a little high kick dance move.

{0}_HAPPY: Whoo! You got it, Bon Bon.

Bonnie skillfully darts through the crawl-tunnel in a matter of seconds.

You can’t help but notice the way her body subtly glistens, small drops of sweat beading on her toned torso…

The boys are extremely impressed.

JOYO_SURPRISED: Bonnie, you’re a beast.

ALEX_HAPPY: Legit impressive.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: Look at her go!

She slides on her side all the way to the finish line.

When she stands up she shakes her short hair back into place and looks at {0}.

She heads towards him but changes her trajectory at the last minute.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Can I kiss you, {0}?

Heck yeah!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: If you don’t kiss me, I’ll be offended, so… Heck yeah.

Bonnie’s eyes glint mischievously as she winds her arm around your neck confidently.

You grasp her upper arms and catch her lips in a strong and passionate kiss.

The group cheers in the background.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: That was worth embarrassing myself for.

On the cheek for now

PLAYER_HAPPY: Sure! But on the cheek for now.

Bonnie leans in and kisses you softly on the cheek.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Your skin is so soft.

PLAYER_IDLE: Moisturiser…

BONNIE_IDLE: It’s working for you.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: That was worth embarrassing myself for actually.

Nope

PLAYER_IDLE: No, go for somebody else.

BONNIE_IDLE: Sure.

BONNIE_HAPPY: {0}, I’m comin’ for you.

She rushes up to him and gives him a few cute little pecks on his cheek. He laughs.

{0}_HAPPY: She can kiss, she can nail an obstacle course. What can’t she do?

BONNIE_HAPPY: You’re a charmer. Don’t pretend you didn’t see me almost faceplant on the dunes…

{0}_FLIRTY: Future gymnast for sure.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Funny! You next…

BONNIE_HAPPY: {0} I’m comin’ for you.

She rushes up to him and gives him a few cute little pecks on his lips. He laughs.

{0}_HAPPY: She can kiss, she can nail an obstacle course. What can’t she do?

BONNIE_HAPPY: You’re a charmer. Don’t pretend you didn’t see me almost faceplant on the dunes…

{0}_HAPPY: Future gymnast right here.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Funny.

BONNIE_HAPPY: You next!

Joyo blitzes round the course. He’s calm, cool and collected.

He takes a second to flash a smile in yours and the girls’ direction.

He slides to the finish line on his side, his head propped up with one elbow.

He swaggers up to Bonnie and goes in for her lips. She turns her head and taps her cheek.

He touches his lips on her cheek briefly.

JOYO_FLIRTY: I’m getting humbled here.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: It’s nothing personal.

She glances over at you.

JOYO_IDLE: It’s ok.

JOYO_FLIRTY: My ego can take it, just about.

He swaggers up to Bonnie and dips her into a sexy kiss.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Ok, Mr Cool. I can see why you have such a high success rate.

JOYO_FLIRTY: But it doesn’t work on you?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Early days, Joyo, early days.

Bryson puts on a show.

He thrusts his hips to propel himself down the slide.

He gets stuck in the tunnel and bounces over to the dunes like an oversized turtle…

BONNIE_HAPPY: I can’t look away.

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s fascinating.

SUMMER_HAPPY: He is pure and utter chaos.

DAPHNE_HAPPY: Bless his heart.

{0}_HAPPY: He is pure and utter chaos.

DAPHNE_HAPPY: Bless his heart.

UMA_HAPPY: At least he commits.

He slides up to Bonnie and goes in for her lips. She turns her head and taps her cheek.

He touches his lips on her cheek briefly.

BRYSON_HAPPY: Swerved.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: It’s nothing personal.

She glances over at you.

BRYSON_IDLE: It’s ok.

He swaggers up to Bonnie and dips her into a cheeky kiss.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Ok, Mr Chaos. You’ve got the mooooves.

BRYSON_FLIRTY: But you don’t like them?

BONNIE_FLIRTY: Early days, Bryson, early days.

NARRATOR: Moving on, or should I say slip n’ sliding on…

NARRATOR: Daph and Raf tore up the course to impress one another.

NARRATOR: Look at those lovebirds chirping away… Or chirpsing more like.

NARRATOR: Casa Amor is just a distant memory already… lovebirds clearly don’t have the memories elephants do.

NARRATOR: Moving on, or should I say slip n’ sliding on…

NARRATOR: Summer and Joyo put on an X-rated performance for one another.

NARRATOR: I had to cover my eyes.

NARRATOR: I heard Joyo got very up close and personal with the crawl tunnel.

NARRATOR: So we arranged for them to go to the hideaway next!

NARRATOR: Joyo and the crawl tunnel that is…

Evan steps up to the starting line next. Everyone seems a little intrigued.

He dances across the course effortlessly, stopping in the centre for a spin and to smile at you and the rest of the girls.

Skidding over the line on one foot, he strolls over to {0} and kisses her on the cheek with a charming grin.

{0}_FLIRTY: That’s my guy.

He then flips his focus to you, giving you a sexy half-smile as he falls back in place.

Uma whispers in your ear.

UMA_SURPRISED: Was he just checking you out?

He’s into me

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I think he’s into me.

UMA_SURPRISED: Oh, wow. I smell drama.

UMA_HAPPY: He is gorgeous though…

Nah

PLAYER_IDLE: Nah, he’s coupled up with {0} and I’m with {1}.

UMA_IDLE: Hmm, I’m not that great at reading people.

UMA_FLIRTY: But even I saw something in the way he looked at you.

Was he?

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Was he actually?

UMA_HAPPY: For sure.

UMA_FLIRTY: I’m not even that good at reading people, but that look he just gave you…

UMA_FLIRTY: Hot.

{0}_FLIRTY: My go…

Alex goes all out for you.

He puts his toned muscles to good use climbing the dunes, glancing back over his shoulder to check that you’re watching.

He strikes a pose on the slide, biting his lip as he gazes deep into your eyes…

Bryson puts on a show for you.

He thrusts his hips to propel himself on the slide.

He jogs with the surfboard, pausing to give you a devilish grin.

Joyo blitzes round the course. He’s calm, cool and collected. He takes every opportunity to flash a smile in your direction.

He slides down into the paddling pool, his head propped up with one elbow, his eyes fixed on yours…

Rafael takes the course with all of his pent-up energy.

He zooms across the dunes laughing gently as he checks that your eyes are on him.

When he comes to the slide he settles into a surfer’s stance to glide across the line…

Bonnie and Uma nudge you and lower their voices.

Bonnie, Uma and Summer nudge you and lower their voices.

BONNIE_HAPPY: Wow, he really did all that for your benefit, you know.

It was hot

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It was hot. I gotta say, I’m pretty impressed.

UMA_FLIRTY: I would be too!

SUMMER_FLIRTY: You’re a lucky girl

It was way too much

PLAYER_IDLE: That was way too extra, I found it a bit cringe.

PLAYER_IDLE: Just being honest.

UMA_IDLE: Aw, {0}. He really likes you.

SUMMER_FLIRTY: She can’t help it if it didn’t float her boat.

UMA_EMBARRASSED: I guess you can’t help it if it didn’t float your boat.

{0} strolls cooly towards you.

Kiss him passionately

You meet him halfway and throw caution to the wind, pulling him towards you, his lips crash passionately against yours.

You know that everybody's watching but you just don’t care.

You wrap a leg around his waist and feel his fingers gripping your thigh.

His lips respond to the rhythm you set. Fast and hard, then slow and deep and soft.

Your heart beats fast as you pull back from one another.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’ll be doing obstacle courses 60 times a day if that’s the response I get…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’ll hold you to it.

Your fellow Islanders cheer enthusiastically.

You notice {0} standing off to the side with a frown on her face.

Kiss him gently

You caress {0}’s cheek and stare deep into his lustful eyes.

He closes the gap between you and falls into a tender kiss. He matches the rhythm of calm passion that you create.

His eyes are still closed when you pull back.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’ve got goosebumps…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Mission accomplished.

Your fellow Islanders cheer with excitement.

You notice {0} standing off to the side with a frown on her face.

Let him kiss your cheek

You smile and gesture to your cheek.

{0} smiles right back at you and caresses your jawline gently before grazing his lips over your cheekbone.

His lips are soft and sure.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m actually honoured to kiss any part of your face.

Your fellow Islanders sigh dreamily at the sappiness of his statement.

You notice {0} standing off to the side with a frown on her face.

Swerve him

You sidestep his kiss and watch as his face falls slightly.

{0}_IDLE: Ooof, {1}. I’m a big boy, I can take it.

{0}_FLIRTY: Maybe we can pick this up later on?

Your fellow Islanders chuckle amongst themselves.

You notice {0} standing off to the side with a frown on her face.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m thinking it’s my turn, boys…

{0} sashays around the course, strutting across the dunes like it’s no big deal.

She wriggles through the tunnel seductively.

Her hair gets wet on the slide and she tosses it back with a naughty gleam in her eyes.

She finishes with her hand on one hip and turns towards Evan.

But, at the last minute she goes up to {0} and drops down to dance in front of him.

She moves her hips in circles as she rolls slowly back up to face him, a small smirk playing across her lips.

She holds him with her eyes, before planting her lips on his cheek delicately and whispering something in his ear…

UMA_IDLE: I would not let that fly.

Call them both out

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Eww, that’s kinda tacky.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: You’re with Evan.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: And you brought me back to the villa, {0}.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: So maybe act like that means something to you.

{0}_FLIRTY: Hey now, I’m just having fun.

{0}_IDLE: He was with me first, remember.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I didn’t ask her to dance on me like that, {1}.

Call her out

PLAYER_SERIOUS: Eww, that’s kinda tacky.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: You’re with Evan.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: So maybe act like that means something to you.

{0}_FLIRTY: Hey now, I’m just having fun.

{0}_IDLE: He was with me first, remember.

Reveal the dumped girls’ info about {0} and Evan

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Funny how you’re back on {0} all of a sudden.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I thought you wanted to rip Evan’s clothes off more than you ever did with {0}?

{0}_SURPRISED: What?! Where did you hear that?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: From close sources let’s just say.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Wow, {1}.

{0}_SERIOUS: If you were never really that into me, how about you just leave me alone?

{0}_SURPRISED: Don’t be like that. You weren’t even there.

{0}_SERIOUS: I’m glad I wasn’t from the sounds of it.

EVAN_EMBARRASSED: Bro, I don’t know what to say.

{0}_SERIOUS: Don’t say anything. Let’s talk later.

EVAN_EMBARRASSED: Sure thing.

Everyone stands in slightly awkward silence for a moment.

The tension between {0} and {1} is palpable.

Ignore the action

You turn away from {0} and {1} and pretend to be occupied with brushing something off of your outfit.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: {1}? Are we good?

PLAYER_IDLE: Huh, I missed all that.

{0}_IDLE: I didn’t ask her to dance on me. I hope you know that.

{0}_IDLE: I was just having fun with it.

You walk over to the starting line, ready to take your turn.

All eyes are on you...

Approach the course with sexy style

You eye the watching crowd and run your hands down your body suggestively.

You easily make it over the dunes. You strut across like a supermodel, gaining gasps from your fellow Islanders.

You take the tunnel on all fours, pressing your chest to your arms so that the curve of your bum is on full display.

When you reach the end of the tunnel, {0}’s eyes check you up and down. Evan is biting his lip.

Bonnie is fanning herself with one hand…

You use your hips to slide over the finish line with your back arched and your head thrown back.

{0}_FLIRTY: I’m genuinely speechless.

EVAN_FLIRTY: You’re quite the performer, {0}.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I’m burning up.

You dip into a little curtsy.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It was nothing…

Approach with pure competitiveness

You blast round the course, sprinting across the dunes, diving through the tunnel, grabbing the surfboard.

You skid past the finish line in record time.

Your fellow Islanders are speechless. {0} looks bewitched, Evan has a cheeky glimmer in his eyes.

Bonnie’s jaw has dropped.

{0}_HAPPY: That was literally a masterclass on how to tackle that course.

{0}_FLIRTY: So hot.

EVAN_FLIRTY: You’re an extremely interesting girl, {0}.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I don’t even have any words right now…

You dip into a bow.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thanks, everyone.

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s literally my job, I would hope that I’m actually good at it.

UMA_IDLE: Makes sense that you’ve put us all to shame!

Play it for laughs

You set out to make everyone laugh. You stick your tongue out at the watching crowd. They cheer and pull faces back at you.

You wobble across the dunes, playing to your audience, pretending to fall, then catching yourself at the last minute.

You take the tunnel on your stomach, scooting forward slowly like a worm. Your fellow Islanders roar with laughter.

Finally, you zoom backwards over the finish line to land on your bum.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Ta-da!!

{0}_FLIRTY: That was comedy gold… And yet you still manage to look hot as hell.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Something very sexy about a girl who doesn’t take herself too seriously.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I agree wholeheartedly.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Glad I could make you all laugh.

You happen to glance {0}’s way. She has her hands on her hips, but she’s looking away from you.

{0}’s eyes are filled with passion as you lock eyes with him…

*Kiss and steal the spotlight with {0}

You saunter over to {0}, his eyes light up.

You place your hands either side of his face and gently pull him forward for a kiss.

His hands travel to the small of your back, then down to your hips.

You let him pull you closer, your lips making gentle magic together.

You sigh when he finally lets you go…

{0}_FLIRTY: I liked that noise.

{0}_FLIRTY: And I liked that kiss.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It had to be you.

{0} is watching you.

You caress {0}’s cheek and walk round him seductively, trailing your hand over his body.

Goosebumps pepper his skin.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Ready for the grand finale?

{0}_FLIRTY: You are so hot, {1}.

You drop to the ground, bouncing up and down onto your ankles, moving to your own sexy rhythm.

When you come back up, you pull flush against {0} feeling his body move against yours.

{0}_FLIRTY: Wow!

You look over at {0}, and she frowns back at you.

*Kiss and steal the spotlight with Evan

You turn away from {0}.

You saunter over to Evan… He seems surprised, but his eyes get heavy with desire when he sees what you’re about to do.

You put your hands on his chest and lean up to fall deep into his kiss.

Before you know it, his hands are stroking the small of your back as he responds enthusiastically to your lips and touch.

{0} is watching you.

You caress Evan’s cheek and walk round him seductively, trailing your hand over his body.

Goosebumps pepper his smooth skin.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Ready for the grand finale?

EVAN_FLIRTY: You are smoking, {0}.

You drop to the ground, bouncing up and down onto your ankles, moving to your own sexy rhythm.

When you come back up, you pull flush against Evan feeling his body move against yours.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Wow!

EVAN_FLIRTY: That was a surprise, {0}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: A good one?

EVAN_FLIRTY: Oh, the best kind.

{0}_SERIOUS: Are you for real, right now, {1}?

{0}_SERIOUS: At this point, it feels like you’re trying to push my buttons.

{0}_SAD: I am a bit confused, {1}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It’s just a game, people.

Kiss Bonnie

You saunter over to Bonnie. Her eyes light up as you gently clasp her face in your hands and draw her closer for a kiss.

Her hands travel to the small of your back, then down to your hips.

You let her pull you closer, your lips making gentle magic together.

You sigh when she finally lets you go.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I liked that noise.

Her voice is low and flirty.

BONNIE_FLIRTY: I liked that kiss.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It had to be you, Bonnie.

You notice that {0} looks disappointed.

Quick snog with {0}

You make a beeline straight for {0} and pull him in for a quick snog.

When you pull away you see {0} rolling her eyes.

{0}_FLIRTY: That was hot. You are hot.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I know.

Kiss nobody

You skip back into the line alongside your fellow Islanders.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Nobody gets a kiss right now.

{0} laughs.

{0}_FLIRTY: You are unpredictable, {1}, I’ll give you that.

BONNIE_HAPPY: She certainly is. But she owned that course!

EVAN_FLIRTY: She really did.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’ve got a text.

BONNIE_HAPPY: What’s it say?

UMA_FLIRTY: Yeah, {0}, tell us already!

You read it out to the group.

LITEXT: Islanders, the Making Waves challenge is over, the winner will be announced later today! {0}SecretPrize {1}WavyWinner

BONNIE_HAPPY: A secret prize? Awesome! I can’t wait to find out what it is.

UMA_HAPPY: And find out who won the challenge!

You all head back into the villa but before you get far…

{0}_IDLE: Hey, {1}.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Um, hey.

{0}_IDLE: Can we chat?

PLAYER_IDLE: Um… Sure.

You sit slightly awkwardly next to {0} at the firepit.

{0}_IDLE: This is gonna be impossible, right?

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What do you mean?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: All this tension.

{0}_IDLE: So I feel like I’ll just come out and say it.

PLAYER_SERIOUS: I’m not sure I know where this is going.

{0}_IDLE: Obviously, I chose to twist with Evan…

Then back off

PLAYER_ANGRY: Then how about you back off…

PLAYER_IDLE: Why were you making moves on {0}?

{0}_SERIOUS: Why do you think?

{0}_IDLE: I’m not ready to back off, {1}.

{0}_IDLE: Plus…

But you’re still torn?

PLAYER_IDLE: But you’re still torn, aren’t you?

{0}_IDLE: Of course I am.

{0}_IDLE: You don’t just lose feelings for somebody that fast.

{0}_SERIOUS: We have history.

{0}_ANGRY: Like major history.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You’re getting in the way.

{0}_SERIOUS: Don’t you think you’re being a hypocrite?

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What do you mean?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You put quite the little performance on with Evan.

{0}_SERIOUS: And you kissed him!

PLAYER_IDLE: It was literally just a game.

{0}_SERIOUS: Don’t you think you’re being a hypocrite?

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What do you mean?

{0}_EMBARRASSED: You chose to kiss Bonnie anyway.

PLAYER_IDLE: It was literally just a game.

{0}_IDLE: That challenge was hard for me.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: Seeing {1} acting all physical like that…

{0}_FLIRTY: It turned me on.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’m thinking maybe I have stronger feelings for him than I thought.

{0}_IDLE: And I want to explore that.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: We were strong before he left for Casa Amor.

{0}_IDLE: Maybe I want to get back to that.

{0}_IDLE: I’m a tough girl, {1}.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: But I don’t want to get into all this confrontational stuff.

{0}_SAD: I just miss Alex. I think there could be something real there with him.

{0}_SAD: More than I thought we had together.

{0}_IDLE: This is weird for me, I can’t lie.

{0}_SAD: I’m a friendly spirit, I hate conflict.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I don’t like this side of myself.

{0}_IDLE: But at the same time, I gotta fight for this potential true connection.

{0}_HAPPY: I forgot how awesomely funny Bryson is.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I’m absolutely not a lover of conflict.

{0}_IDLE: I want peace and good times here in the villa, truly.

{0}_EMBARRASSED: I just don’t want to have any what-ifs with Joyo, you know?

{0}_SERIOUS: What me and Raf had was real.

{0}_SERIOUS: He was falling for me.

{0}_ANGRY: I won’t let you get in the way of a proper connection.

Shouldn’t have binned him off then

PLAYER_IDLE: Want my honest opinion?

PLAYER_SERIOUS: You shouldn’t have binned him off then.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: It’s not like you stayed single and faithful.

PLAYER_IDLE: There’s no sob story here, {0}.

{0}_ANGRY: Well that’s…

I understand

PLAYER_IDLE: I get it, I do. This is Love Island.

PLAYER_IDLE: You want to explore every potential connection.

{0}_IDLE: Well yeah…

He’s moving on

PLAYER_IDLE: He’s clearly moving on. He’s into me now.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: You should move on too.

{0}_ANGRY: Well that’s…

EVAN_HAPPY: Hey, girls, hope I’m not interrupting anything too serious.

EVAN_IDLE: I was hoping to pull you away for a chat.

{0} looks a little impatient.

{0}_IDLE: What’s it about? We’re kind of in the middle of something here.

EVAN_EMBARRASSED: Ah, I actually wanted to talk to {0}.

{0}_SURPRISED: Oh. What do you want to say to her?

EVAN_HAPPY: I just want to have a chat with her, {0}.

He smiles at her.

EVAN_HAPPY: We’ll hang later, yeah?

{0}_SERIOUS: Sure.

{0} watches you and Evan as you head off to the daybeds.

You and Evan sit with your feet up, side-by-side on the daybeds.

He shifts to look at you and his face lights up with a smile. You notice how much his eyes twinkle in the sunlight.

EVAN_HAPPY: This is nothing specific, by the way.

EVAN_IDLE: I just wanted the chance to get to know you.

EVAN_HAPPY: Aaaaaand…

PLAYER_IDLE: Aaaaand what?

EVAN_FLIRTY: It sorta looked like {0} was getting a bit intense.

EVAN_HAPPY: Us newbies need to stick together.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Can’t be getting involved with all that drama.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You’re a drama-free type of guy?

He chuckles and runs his thumb along his jawline.

EVAN_FLIRTY: 100% correct.

EVAN_HAPPY: All my passion goes into my art.

EVAN_IDLE: What about you? Are you a drama-free girl?

Usually, I’m totally drama-free

PLAYER_HAPPY: I mean, yeah. Usually I’m totally drama-free.

PLAYER_IDLE: But in here…

EVAN_HAPPY: I get you. It’s not as easy, right?

PLAYER_HAPPY: Exactly. This place can be a hotbed for drama.

EVAN_FLIRTY: So what you’re saying is you’re drama, drama, drama…

I think drama can spice things up

PLAYER_IDLE: Honestly? I think drama can be spicy, it adds a bit of flavour.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Wouldn’t we all be bored if everything was like a fairytale right away?

EVAN_IDLE: You’ve got good points, {0}.

EVAN_FLIRTY: But all I’m hearing is that you’re drama, drama, drama…

Sometimes the drama finds me

PLAYER_IDLE: Hmm, well sometimes the drama finds me.

PLAYER_EMBARRASSED: Whether I want it to or not.

EVAN_IDLE: I hear that.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Nobody comes to the villa without expecting at least a dash of drama.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Exactly!

EVAN_FLIRTY: But what I’m hearing is that you’re a magnet for drama…

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Oh, um…

EVAN_IDLE: It’s chill, I’m teasing you.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Anybody that looks like you is naturally gonna be causing some dramatic events.

PLAYER_IDLE: Why’s that?

EVAN_FLIRTY: Did you look in the mirror today?

EVAN_HAPPY: You’re a true work of art.

EVAN_FLIRTY: More vivid than anything I could create.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Tell me about your work?

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m not that into art, but maybe you could convert me.

EVAN_HAPPY: I’ll definitely try!

EVAN_HAPPY: I love talking about it, maybe too much.

EVAN_IDLE: So just tell me to shush if I get too carried away.

EVAN_HAPPY: Though I might like that.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’ll keep that in mind.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Though I might not want to stop you, I have an interest in art too.

Evan feigns swooning.

EVAN_FLIRTY: {0}, you’re saying all the right things.

He beams even wider, his body language is open and friendly.

EVAN_HAPPY: I dabble. I’m a dabbler.

EVAN_IDLE: I like to experiment with form.

EVAN_HAPPY: Bit of digital art, bit of sculpting, bit of comic book illustration…

EVAN_HAPPY: But painting is really it for me.

EVAN_IDLE: I like to focus on feeling. It spills out of me in many different ways.

EVAN_HAPPY: Sometimes it’ll be close up features, faces exploding with colour…

EVAN_IDLE: The same eye, over and over and over again.

EVAN_HAPPY: In different sizes, on different backgrounds.

EVAN_HAPPY: My work is just an extension of me, of what I love. Or who I love.

EVAN_IDLE: And how I feel.

EVAN_HAPPY: Does that make sense, or did I just get all art nerd on you?

Sounds stunning

PLAYER_HAPPY: Sounds absolutely stunning.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I can feel your passion for what you do, it pours from your words.

EVAN_HAPPY: That’s so wonderful to hear.

EVAN_IDLE: I fear that not everybody gets to do the thing they love the most in life.

I don’t really get it

PLAYER_IDLE: I’m a little lost, I don’t completely understand the art world.

EVAN_HAPPY: That can’t be true, {0}.

EVAN_IDLE: I know what you do.

EVAN_HAPPY: Graphic design definitely slots into the art world.

PLAYER_IDLE: Sort of, for me we’re kind of the outsiders, creatives with a business mind.

EVAN_HAPPY: Ah, that totally makes sense.

PLAYER_HAPPY: But I do feel your passion for what you do pouring out of every word.

EVAN_HAPPY: I’m so glad you said that. I know I’m lucky to do what I love the most.

So you paint people you like…?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: So you paint people who make you feel things?

EVAN_FLIRTY: I do. People that inspire feelings that are difficult to put into words…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Interesting…

EVAN_FLIRTY: I feel like you want to say something else.

PLAYER_IDLE: Just that I can see how passionate you are about your work.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It pours from your every syllable.

EVAN_HAPPY: I really am. I’m lucky, I know that.

EVAN_IDLE: Not everyone works in the field they love the most.

EVAN_HAPPY: But you’ve got to have similar levels of passion to do what you’re doing?

PLAYER_IDLE: So true.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I like to think that I do have a lot of passion for my work.

PLAYER_IDLE: It’s hard for me to relate as I’m still figuring out exactly what I want to do.

EVAN_IDLE: That’s a joy in itself though, {0}.

EVAN_HAPPY: Treasure that time, I’m excited for you.

EVAN_HAPPY: When it finally hits you, you’ll know.

EVAN_HAPPY: It took me a while to find my passion.

EVAN_HAPPY: I guess the passion is easier to come by when things are going well too.

EVAN_IDLE: I only really recently saw things take off for me.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: What happened?

EVAN_HAPPY: My latest exhibition went viral.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Wow, what was it?

EVAN_IDLE: It was a series of pieces on how sex affects the senses.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Oh…

EVAN_FLIRTY: Licks of colour under inhaling nostrils.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Silhouettes etched deep into the pupils.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Red hot fingerprints over trails of different coloured skin.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: That sounds pretty erotic, Evan.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I think that’s why people liked it.

There’s a brief pause, a potential spark hangs in the air between you.

PLAYER_IDLE: So, what’s the deal with you and {0} then?

EVAN_IDLE: Hmm, I’ll be honest, {0}.

EVAN_HAPPY: I’m not completely clear on it myself.

EVAN_IDLE: When I first came in with the other boys during Casa Amor, we really clicked.

EVAN_IDLE: She’s obviously very beautiful, and she seemed interested in me.

PLAYER_IDLE: But now you’re not sure?

EVAN_EMBARRASSED: Yeah… Things have shifted. She seems to be back on {0}.

EVAN_IDLE: I don’t know where that leaves me.

EVAN_EMBARRASSED: The way she grafted him in the challenge kinda spoke volumes for me.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I think I’m free to look for other, stronger sparks.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I’m searching for electricity, you know?

Maybe you’ve found it…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Maybe you’ve already found it…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It could be anywhere.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Maybe I’m feeling it right now.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I was feeling it in that challenge.

EVAN_FLIRTY: You chose me. Just for fun?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: For now…

I hope you find it

PLAYER_IDLE: I hope you find it.

PLAYER_IDLE: Maybe somebody else will come in for you.

EVAN_FLIRTY: Maybe I’m feeling it right now.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I was feeling it in that challenge.

EVAN_FLIRTY: You chose me. Just for fun?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: For now…

EVAN_FLIRTY: I think I should have chosen you in that challenge.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: Really? That would have caused trouble.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I’m cool with that.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Thought you said you weren’t into drama.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I’m not, but I am into following the way I feel.

EVAN_HAPPY: Love Island is about strong connections and new beginnings.

EVAN_FLIRTY: I think we could have a great summer together, you and I.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: You do?

EVAN_FLIRTY: It’s never too late to find the perfect partner.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Someone you really click with?

EVAN_HAPPY: You got it!

He smiles at you, his eyes are so easy to fall into. His gaze grows more intense.

He leans a little closer to you.

Evan sits back again, as casual as ever.

The moment is broken before you could decide whether or not you wanted to kiss him.

{0}_IDLE: What’s up, you two?

EVAN_HAPPY: Nothing really, bro. We’re just chilling.

PLAYER_IDLE: Did you want to talk?

{0}_HAPPY: If you have a minute?

{0}_IDLE: It’s important.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Ok, {0}. See you later, Evan.

EVAN_IDLE: Later, {0}.

You wave goodbye to Evan and follow {0} over to the swing seat.

[mypoisonedvine]

peaches & cream || soft!dark Jake Wyler x reader

for @stargazingfangirl18​'s 5k challenge! I used the prompt, "the town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks."

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut (noncon), stalking/obsession, some degradation/negging (but lots of praise during the actual smut), kinda yandere vibes?, touch of breeding kink at the end, definitely flirting with the boundary between soft!dark and regular dark but I like to think it’s a fine line

“Sorry, but that’s a seasonal flavor,” the girl at the counter explained in a snarky monotone.

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it still… the season?” you pressed; normally you weren’t the sort of person to argue with a cashier over a milkshake, but the look she was giving you made you feel like she was holding out on you— especially when the promotional poster for the very thing you were trying to order was just behind her head, and said the flavor was available for two more days.

“We’re out,” she answered firmly, but then her face suddenly shifted to a much more pleasant expression as you heard the chime of the front door opening behind you.  

You felt his body hovering behind yours just as his hand laid on the counter beside you, caging you in.  It was even more unsettling with the context that there was a whole line of people waiting behind you already.

“I’ll get your usual,” the girl promised to the man beside with a flirtatious smile as she disappeared to the back, returning almost instantly with a shake in her extended hand.  “Peaches and cream milkshake— extra whipped cream, no cherry.  Enjoy!”

Your eyes widened at the reading of your own order.  “I thought you were out!” you protested, going completely ignored.

"If you were my girl, this sort of thing wouldn't need to happen."

You recoiled from Jake's voice in your ear, and he smiled in spite of your snarl, bringing the straw to his lips slowly.  With a shudder you walked away, deciding it was probably better to forgo a milkshake anyways— especially if it was a chance to avoid everyone’s favorite senior, the football king who basically owned the whole town for no other reason than being good-looking, athletic, and allegedly “charming” or whatever.

Of course, he followed you, sitting across from you in a booth and silently shooing his posse of fellow teammates to go off and give you two some space.  If only he would give you space.

“We can share,” he offered as he held the milkshake out towards you.  “I know it’s your favorite… it’s mine too.”

“I’ve lost my appetite,” you explained quickly as you pulled a book out of your backpack, intent on ignoring him since you couldn’t physically force him to leave.

He shrugged and returned to sucking on the straw, watching you unwaveringly as you tried to read your book— staring at the page was going well, but you couldn’t seem to actually get any words down.  Had you forgotten English as a written language or something?

“Could you leave?” you finally asked as you groaned and looked up from your book.  “You’re distracting me.”

“I’m literally just sitting here,” he reminded you.

“And it’s distracting!”

He smirked proudly.  “My presence tends to have that effect on people.  Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

You rolled your eyes, burying your face back in your book.  “You know, you may have everybody else fooled, but someday you’re gonna have to leave this pathetic little town and go into the real world where throwing a ball isn’t a career and nobody fawns over you just because you have the audacity to be attractive.”

He chuckled lightly.  “Right, because you have those big city dreams of yours, but believe it or not some of us like this ‘pathetic’ little town.”

“Well, of course you would,” you snorted.  “Your dad’s the mayor and your girlfriend’s the head cheerleader.”

“My ex-girlfriend,” he corrected, finally getting your attention enough to make you shut your book.

“What?” you blurted out.

“Yeah, she dumped me,” he explained plainly.

“Why would she do that?” you asked, making him look much too proud of himself again.  “Finally snapped out of the brainwashing, huh?” you added, effectively killing his smug expression.

“I guess you could say that.  She met some college guy from out of town… I think her parents liked me too much, she needed a bit more rebellion.”

“Well, my condolences to you,” you smiled, “and my congratulations to her.”

“I thought you hated her,” he scoffed.

“Well, now she and I have something in common: a complete lack of interest in you!”

“I mean, I wouldn’t go that far,” he smirked, “she still comes over every now and again to suck my cock.”

You choked on nothing, face getting warm at his crude language.  He didn’t talk like that with anyone else; it was so cruel the way he kept everybody in town under his spell except you, the way he let you in on his real darkness with no one else to confide in or believe you.  

It was so fundamentally lonely, being the one person who wasn’t in love with Jake Wyler.  It was even worse being the one person Jake Wyler loved.

At least, that was the word he used multiple times in his semi-anonymous letters, his incessant calls and emails, his speeches outside your window.  He’d actually cooled off lately, you wondered if maybe he had finally let go of this ‘the one thing I can’t have’ obsession and learned to appreciate his girlfriend (who, for all her personality flaws, was objectively gorgeous, and seemed to at least be nice to him if nobody else).

But now that she left him (which you were still trying to process, honestly), you were surprised he hadn’t already moved on to the next best wannabe model and/or reinstated his campaign to win you over.

Then again, the look in his eye kind of made you think you were about to witness the second one.

“You know, when she does come over, I can only ever finish because I’m thinking about you,” he revealed in a low voice.  You grimaced and slid out of the booth, stuffing your book into your bag and barely managing to throw him a goodbye before you dashed out.  

It wasn’t like you really thought you could get away from him— he had made it clear over and over that you couldn’t— but the idea of being crammed in that booth with him, surrounded throughout the diner by his adoring fans who somehow didn’t manage to overhear him when he said those awful things, made you feel nauseous.

What you should’ve considered was that, fans or not, those people were witnesses, and now that you were running out into the dark streets of the town and he was chasing after you, you didn’t have any.  It was just you and him, and when you turned into an alleyway to try to get home faster, even the dim glow of the streetlights couldn’t see you anymore.

“Hey,” he stopped you with a tight grip on your arm, pulling you back into him.

“Let me go!” you whined, trying to tug yourself away but only ensuring that his hand would leave a bruise on your arm.  

“I will when you just hear me out, okay?” he hissed, spinning you around to look up at him.  "Why don't you just give me a chance?  Don't you wanna be popular?" 

"I don't want to be anything that requires being within ten yards of you!" you spat.

He seemed bewildered, but you knew he wasn’t actually that stupid.  "Why?"

"Because you know why!"

He sighed, slumping his shoulders a little.  "Are we still on that, really?  I told you, you should take it as a compliment.  You know how many girls would kill to catch me jerking off in their panties?"

"You're sick, Jake,” you sighed, “and you're really good at hiding it from everyone else but I know what you really are.  You told me you needed help with algebra and I actually believed you, for months you were lying to me to get close so you could perv on me when you already had a girlfriend and two side chicks anyways— god, Jake, you're crazy!"

You yelped when he pinned you to the wall, blue eyes darker than ever.  "I really, really hate that word."

Against the wall, your back straightened as you felt the tone shift completely for a moment before he was back to his jovial self again, giving you a somber but almost-genuine smile.

“The only kind of crazy I am is crazy about you,” he defended with a laugh, leaning in a little closer.  “Why can’t you see that?”

As his eyes moved from your own to your lips, a renewed sense of fear shot through you.  “Jake…” you mumbled, apparently your feeble attempt to ask him to stop.

“Just one kiss,” he bargained, “and then I’ll let you go.  Okay?  That’s all I need.”

“N-no,” you whimpered, turning your head away as he leaned in even further.  “Stop.”

“Come on, it’s just a kiss, baby,” he cooed.  “Then you can leave.  Hey, you might actually like it.  You know, I think that’s what you’re really scared about… and I get it!  When I first realized I was in love with you, it was scary for me, too— I mean, I’m the most important guy in town and you’re just some bookworm, it’s sort of social suicide for me so I had a lot to worry about.”

There he went with his negging again, trying to bring you down to his level.  Your brain knew that, it saw right through it, but your gut still sank with doubt.

“But I know now that love is nothing to be afraid of,” he concluded.

“No, Jake,” you whispered, feeling tears well in your eyes, “I’m afraid that you’ll hurt me if I don’t do what you want.”

“Well, that is something to be afraid of,” he replied with the coldest laugh you’d ever heard; you didn’t hear any agreement, but the lack of denial was deafening.  “So just be my good girl and let me kiss you…”

You swallowed dryly, your eyes wide open and searching for anywhere to look but up at him.

He was so close now that his lips brushed against yours with his command: “say it.”

You stammered over your breath, not sure exactly what he was asking for, and you winced as you felt his grip tighten on your arms.

“Say, ‘kiss me’,” he clarified in a harsh whisper.  “Say, ‘please’...”

“Please,” you repeated awkwardly, hearing it in your voice but so clearly not your own words, “kiss me.”

He let his mouth intertwine with yours and your eyes were still wide open as he let his own fall shut, moving his hands to clutch your face gently instead as you gave a weak effort to kiss him back.

Objectively, he was good at this.  A lot of things were objectively true about Jake: as much as you forced yourself not to see it, he was handsome; as much as it didn’t really matter to you, a boycotter of all things sports, he was talented; and, as much as no one else realized it, he was completely deranged.  For every word of kindness from him there was another of anger.  For every love letter in your locker, there was a threat left scrawled on crumpled paper inside your bedroom, just so he could remind you that your parents would let him into the house if he asked and never question it.

Which was why it was extremely important that you did not enjoy this kiss.  You needed to hate the way his fingers traced over the pulse in your neck, the way his tongue tickled yours, the way his teeth just barely grazed your lip until your knees went a little weak.  

But wow, there was something primally satisfying about melting into his arms, feeling his strength support you like it was nothing when he held your waist and pulled you closer.

You could almost forget that it was him.  But then he mumbled your name into the kiss, nearly moaned it in fact, and it pulled you back to reality.  With a gasp, you pushed him away and blinked your eyes open, not even realizing you’d closed them; hating how quickly you’d started to give in to him.

“There, one kiss,” you mumbled, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.  “I’m gonna go home now—”

“You can’t be serious,” he laughed incredulously.  “You’re gonna kiss me like that and tell me you don’t feel this, too?  We’re so meant for each other— we even order the same milkshake!”

“That doesn’t matter!” you denied.

“I love you!”

“That doesn’t matter either!”

You turned to leave but he grabbed you again from behind, covering your mouth with his hand when you opened your mouth to scream.  “Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” he hissed in your ear, “and don’t walk away from me.”

Fighting against his grip did nothing but exhaust you: he only needed one arm to hold you back as he dragged you deeper into the alley.  Your legs swung wildly and landed a kick to his shin, and he plugged your nose while he was covering your mouth so you couldn’t breathe.

“Listen to me, you stuck up little bitch,” he growled.  “I’m really sick of this ‘hard to get’ act.  I know you want me.  So shut up and let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, okay?  You gonna be good?”

In that moment, you would’ve agreed to anything for a chance to fill your lungs with fresh air, and so you nodded, the back of your head rubbing against his chest.

“You gonna be nice and quiet so nobody catches you getting fucked like a whore in this alley?”

Another nod, more feverish than the last, ended with a sharp inhale as he let go of your nose.  But he was still covering your mouth, his arm around you now feeling less like restraint and more like an embrace.

"I've wanted you for so long, you can't even imagine," he explained softly as he leaned down and kissed your neck, gripping your waist tighter.  "You and this perfect body of yours.  This smart little head that thinks too much…"

You swallowed dryly as his hand trailed lower.

"This pussy you've been hiding from me for much too long," he added darkly, roughly shoving his hand up your skirt.

You whined behind his hand but he didn’t seem to care; he pulled your skirt up and grinned at the sight of your panties— because he recognized them.

“I remember these,” he purred.  “They look good on you, baby, but they looked better covered in my come.”

Your cheeks burned with shame— you already hated yourself for still wearing the pair he’d tampered with, but it was harmless after a few runs through the washer, right?  You weren’t going to stop wearing your favorite panties just for him, that would mean he won, in a sense; or, that’s what you told yourself to justify not burning them.

“Don’t worry, they’re gonna be soaked by the time I’m done with you,” he purred, slipping two fingers between your legs and growling slightly.  “Well, actually, you’ve already done a lot of the work for me.”

He pulled the fabric aside and explored your pussy instead, tightening his grip over your mouth as you made little muffled yelps.  The rough pads of his fingers found and targeted your clit instantly, that megawatt smile pressed against your ear as he started to rub your bud harder.

“Mm, feels good, huh?” he taunted, moving even faster as your hips jolted unintentionally.  He stopped only to bring the fingers to his lips, humming at the taste of you which he sucked off of them.  “So sweet, babygirl— better than any peaches and cream milkshake, that’s for sure.”

The wet fingers trailed down your body again, finding your entrance that he suddenly pushed into; it was a little too much without any warning and it made your eyes shoot wide open, a squeak barely escaping your throat.

"Just as tight as I imagined, baby,” he sighed, “all those times I used your panties, or hooked up with somebody who almost looked like you from behind.  You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I know you want it so bad.”

He took his fingers out of you to reach back and open his belt with one hand, the sound of the buckle matched in upsettingness only by the sound of his jeans sliding down to his thighs.

You heard your own breath loud and heavy against his hand as you felt his hard cock press against your thigh, a drop of precum smearing on your skin.  Your breathing halted suddenly, though, when he slid himself between your legs to rub his cock over your exposed and swollen pussy.

“Oh, babygirl, you really are too good to me,” he grinned, kissing your ear tenderly.  “So fucking wet and ready for me, huh?  You need it that bad?  You’re gonna get it, baby, ‘m gonna give it to you so good…”

Bracing yourself as best you could, you felt the head of his cock push against your entrance before he slammed in all at once, making you hiss in pain.

“Oh god,” he groaned, “fuck, you’re so warm…”

Already he was fucking into you roughly, pumping faster and deeper, paying no mind to your choked sobs of pain from the wide stretch.  Even when it stung it felt oddly good, and the underside of his cock seemed to slide perfectly over your g-spot with each movement until your eyes began to roll back in your head.

“So fucking good,” he moaned hoarsely as he braced you against the brick wall for leverage, reaching back down with his free hand to rub your clit again.  He chuckled when your legs quivered, and he must have felt your walls tighten around him, too.  “I wanna hear those pretty moans, baby, if I take my hand away are you gonna be good?” he asked darkly.  You nodded, enjoying the brief feeling of freedom that came from not having his hand over your mouth anymore.  But then again, it was humiliating that now he could hear your panting breaths, your desperate mewls that you failed to swallow down.

He made a sound that was almost like a laugh as he watched you squirm in his arms, one more way he had to lord this all over you, as if forcing you to take him in an alley wasn’t enough on its own.

His breath against your ear was hot and strained, each meeting of your hips to his accentuated with a little grunt from him.  It didn’t help at all that his fingers were rubbing you just right, with so much skill that you wondered if he’d somehow figured out how you touched yourself when you needed to get off.  Honestly, you wouldn’t put it past him to have spied on you before, even if you couldn’t figure out when or how.

The hand that used to cover your mouth slid up under your shirt and pulled your bra down, a large, rough hand groping each breast and pinching your nipples until you bit down on your lip to stay quiet.  For all the mocking and teasing he’d done before, he was pretty direct now— like he was trying to make you come as fast as possible, overloading your body with sensation.  

And did he have to be so fucking good at it?

“I know you’re close, babygirl,” he whispered in your ear, “just let go…”

“Jake, please,” you sobbed, too far gone to appreciate that no begging would make him stop now.

“Come for me,” he demanded roughly, fucking you even faster as he sucked a mark onto your neck, and finally it all came crashing down with a choked-out cry of his name and a gush of warmth dripping out around his length.

“Ohh fuck, there you go, fuck it feels good when you come for me,” he grunted, thrusting even faster.  “You’re gonna milk my cock with that pretty pussy, babygirl— you’re gonna make me come…”

“J-Jake, not inside!” you interjected, getting his hand back over your mouth in return.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed, “waited too long for this to pull out now.  Feels too fucking good.”

Behind his hand, the difference between whines of hatred and moans of pleasure was irritatingly subtle.

“I love you,” he reminded you in a voice exhausted yet heavy with desire, “so fucking much…”

A few more erratic, brutal thrusts accompanied by heavy pants and he was gone; you could feel his cock pulsing with each rope of come that filled you, so deep that your head fell dejectedly with the realization you had no hope of washing it out now.

His hand fell from your mouth but he didn’t pull out for another few moments as he caught his breath, gently peppering your neck and cheek in slow kisses.  “Baby,” he finally sighed, breaking the crushing silence, “you’re so fucking perfect.  I knew you were made for me.”

I hate you, you wanted to cry out, but words escaped you as he hugged you tightly and pulled your panties back into place, soaking them with his come as it leaked out of you just like he’d promised.  He stuffed his cock back into his jeans and helped you adjust your clothes back to looking almost presentable, finishing it off by turning you around and smiling at you with serene pride before kissing your forehead.

"You're gonna make such a beautiful prom queen," he cooed, “especially if you’ve already got a nice little bump showing…”

His hand rubbed beneath your belly button for emphasis, making you whimper and force your eyes shut as tears rolled down your cheeks.

"Shh, don’t cry, baby,” he soothed, kissing your cheek softly.  “Trust me, you're gonna love being my girl."

[lacheri]

when you can’t sleep at night // wake me (sequel)

pairing: captain!Levi x cadet!fem bodied reader

content: angst, canonverse, mentions and talks of death/portrayals of death, depictions of violence, blood, overall dark themes, unestablished relationship, fingering, mutual loss of virginities, overstimulation, takes place sometime before the 57th expedition (didn't follow an exact timeline), there is a lot of talks about dying in this, levi asks a lot of intrusive questions, minors DNI.

summary: levi finds he holds an affection to a certain cadet of his. you find that maybe the comfort of your captain can quiet the thoughts plaguing your mind, even if just for one night.

wc: 10.7k

The clouds were so fluffy, so white and pure as you longingly watched them swirl above you. Your entire body was numb, back flat against the dirt with all your limbs stretched out. Your brain felt fuzzy, and for a fleeting moment you were flying in the clouds. You could feel the water vapor skim past your fingertips, the air whooshing against you as you soared. You looked down at the earth beneath your form, all the trees and even the walls looked so tiny from this height. This peaceful daydream was pulled from you with a start, your chest heaving with coughs.

“I’m so sorry!” you heard a voice call out, your line of vision intruded by the hazy form of a person leering over you. “I didn’t mean to hit you like that!”

“‘S okay,” you choked out, the numbness fading into aches all over your body. “I’ve gotten you good a couple of times too, Eren.”

“You know what, on second thought,” Eren’s lips spread into a smirk as he extended a hand down. “Consider this payback for beating my ass all those times in the Training Corps.”

“Good on you for finally landing a hit,” you chuckled, wincing as he hauled you to your feet. “Only took you three years.”

You rocked on your ankles, steadying yourself quickly before your legs gave out on you. Eren had gotten you good, roundhouse kicking you in your chest to lay you out on your ass. His training sessions had begun to pay off, used to the reverse happening when the two of you sparred. Mikasa would look on intently, a small smile on her lips when you’d punch Eren’s smug face with a sharp hook. You and 104th cadets were a friendly, strong group, bonded over the horrors of the titans, especially after what happened in Trost.

“What are you brats doing out here?”

Your heads whipped in the direction of the strong voice, meeting the steely hard set eyes of Levi, your captain and soon to be squad leader. His arms were crossed, and you gulped upon taking notice of how his biceps strained under the grey linen of his button up. You quickly flickered your focus back to his eyes before he caught you eyeing him up.

“Just sparring,” Eren hadn’t released the grip on your hand, nor had he noticed he was still holding onto your palm as he addressed the superior. “Prepping for the mission tomorrow.”

Levi frowned, “And who told you it was okay to do so when I gave you cadets instruction to clean the headquarters from top to bottom?”

You pulled your hand from Eren’s as you responded, “Sorry, Captain Levi. We’ll get on it right away.”

Levi only let out a displeased ‘tch’ as he turned on his heels, walking away without further commentary. Eren shot you an eye roll, and you held back a snicker as the pair of you followed shortly after the ravenette. Maybe the two of you had snuck away to leave the rest of your comrades to attack the former Survey Corps headquarters with dusters and cleaning rags, not wanting to participate in your weekly assigned duties. Eren had been adamant in the cobwebbed hallway on the second floor that he had to practice his hand to hand combat, just in case your squads ran into some problems on tomorrow’s mission. You had eagerly agreed, wanting to be as far away from the unsettled dust that assaulted your nostrils, itching at your allergies.

As the three of you entered the building, Levi abruptly turned to the two of you trailing behind him, you and Eren jumping in fright, “Eren, go to the dining hall, you’re going to wipe down underneath all the tables. As for you, brat, you get the honor of cleaning my room.”

Eren shot you a sympathetic look discreetly, nodding to your captain as he hightailed it to the hall.

You swallowed a lump in your throat, alone now with the captain. He studied you for a brief moment, gesturing with his head for you to follow him. Your feet moved before your mind could will you, and the soft thuds of your footsteps across the wooden planks of the floor was all that was heard. You snuck glances at the man before you, taking notice that his undercut was slightly grown in, his longer hair uncharacteristically out of place. Levi looked disheveled in a way, his tan leather jacket creased.

You opened your mouth to make a comment, but decided against it in the end. You were going to offer your assistance, to help freshen up his fade and to do his laundry, but figured Levi was a grown man who could take care of himself. You had a soft spot for the man, humanity’s strongest soldier. You knew a title like that came with a weight you could not fathom, especially after the horrors you had seen at Trost when the titans broke through the walls. You could remember everything so clearly, almost as if it was happening right now. You had nearly died that day.

Your older age amongst your fellow cadets was not one of gain you found out. After learning about the tragedy of Wall Maria, the wall closest to your village, it inspired you to join the Survey Corps in order to help the world. Humanity was dying, almost completely obliterated. Distant family members had died in Shiganshina that day, and the reality of the titans weighed heavily on you. How could you sit idly by as the world you knew was being destroyed before your very eyes? What would’ve happened had that attack been on your small village instead of the Shiganshina district? How would you have protected your own?

So with those thoughts in mind, you joined the training corps. Your parents had disagreed with broken hearts, knowing the likely fate of your choices. Your mother had insisted that you were of ripe marrying age, and that they had no other children to carry your family name. They begged and pleaded for you to settle down and find a husband, to help humanity in a different way by bearing children. You knew this was just a fantasy, and you knew it would be entirely possible that if you were to follow their wishes, the family you would create would be devoured and destroyed. This was the only way you could help, no matter your age or being in your reproductive prime. You needed to slaughter the titans, one by one until none remained. You kissed your beloved family goodbye the day you left for training, and you frequently sent them letters to let them know you were well and alive. One day, they all were returned back to you as you sat in the barracks, and one of the captains informed you that your village was destroyed, your parents and friends from home all dead.

You thought of them as you sliced through a five meter titan’s nape in Trost, your first kill. The citizens of the district ran stampeding in retreat, and caught up in the heat of it all, you had failed to account for the seven meter barreling behind you. When it’s burning fingers wrapped around your body, you sobbed, preparing to meet your family in the afterlife, whatever that would look like. You could feel the hot spats of drool hit your cheeks as the titan opened its mouth, bearing teeth and a cruel grin, and then suddenly, you were flying, caught in the arms of a savior. You stared in disbelief at the cut off fingers on the graveled stone of the street, to only be brought out of this state as Mikasa held you close and questioned if you were alright.

After the dust settled and the casualties were counted, you could feel a fire blazing deep within you. You never wanted to be vulnerable like that ever again, you wanted to be strong like Mikasa. Then, you met Captain Levi. You didn’t know much about him, but his reputation spoke volumes. You wanted the strength of the Ackermans whom you so deeply admired. You begged Commander Erwin to be assigned to Levi’s squad, and your wish was granted. You had been in the top rankings of your class, and you had a solo kill under your belt, aside from the near fatal clutch of another titan. Most of all, you had survived, a bigger feat than most of your comrades.

“Oi, you done daydreaming?” Levi’s cool voice brought you out of your train of thoughts as you arrived outside a wooden door, presumably his temporary living space.

“Sorry, just thinking,” you mumbled as he opened the door.

“Didn’t think you were capable of that. All the supplies are in the box on my desk, I want this room spotless, I don’t care how long it takes,” your captain grumbled as he made strides to his desk in the center of the room.

The room was fairly large, a double bed pressed against the left wall and the dark wooden desk was littered in paperwork. Half filled bookshelves lined the right wall, some mismatched couches and chairs filled the empty space. Honestly, the space was nearly perfect, even the bed was made. You knew better than to point this out to your superior though, so you had simply nodded and began to sort through the various cleaning supplies.

The scratch of Levi’s pen filled the hour long silence as you worked, dusting every surface and wiping it down with disinfectant spray and an old rag. After sweeping thoroughly, you flickered your eyes to the single window in the entire room, surprised completely as the sun had nearly set. The two of you were probably going to miss dinner, you realized as Levi poked his head up from the pile of papers he was concentrated on, a clear look of distaste on his features.

“This is what you call clean?” he spat, running a hand through his bangs. “Mop the floors, cadet.”

You sighed, feeling the subtle growl of hunger in the pit of your stomach. The mop laid in the left corner by the bedroom door, where you had found the broom. You swapped the two, picking up a bucket on the floor. You filled the wooden container with disinfectant, not seeing any polish in the box Levi had provided. He only rolled his eyes at seeing this, but said nothing. At least the floor would be clean.

Levi had lit a few lamps around the room to provide lighting as the sun dipped lower in the sky, swallowing the room in darkness. The floor was sparkling as you finished the last spot, a feeling of satisfaction filling your chest.

“Better?” you interrupted his concentration. He gazed around the room silently, face blank.

“Much,” Levi finally spoke. “That’ll be all, cadet.”

You smiled, setting the cleaning supplies back to their original locations, “Do you want me to bring you anything? I’m going down to grab dinner.”

Levi’s eyes widened at the question, not expecting your offer, “Some tea would be fine. Don’t fuck it up either, brat.”

You nodded as he dismissed you, and you treaded down the stairwell from the second floor to the kitchens. Some of the other cadets littered the dining hall as you passed, seeing some of your comrades laughing at a table, but you paid them no mind. In the kitchen there was hardly any leftover food from the dinner, scraps of potatoes sat in a large bowl on one of the counterspaces. You sighed, scarfing down whatever was available while you set a rusted kettle to a flame. The water was boiled within minutes, and you poured it over tea leaves in two teacups. You cleaned up your mess, and made your way back to Levi’s room.

You knocked twice on the door, hearing his grunt to signal you to enter. Levi was still positioned in his chair at his desk, head in his hands as he scanned over his documents. You placed his cup down silently, ready to leave the man to his work.

“Why are you here, cadet?” your captain called out as you went to open the door.

You turned your head to look at him, his eyes never leaving the words of his papers, “What do you mean, captain?”

“The Survey Corps,” he clarified, finally making eye contact. “Why?”

“To save humanity, sir?” you didn’t mean to speak as if you were questioning him, but your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

He scoffed, setting his paperwork aside, “Humanity, huh? You’re a bit too old to be in the graduating class you’re currently in. Why join now?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m confused,” your body was facing his entirely now. “Why are you asking me these questions?”

“Because it doesn’t make sense,” he more so mumbled to himself. “You shouldn’t be here. You should be pregnant with your first born, with a husband. Instead, you’re here, trying to fight titans.”

“With all due respect, Captain,” your voice was laced with controlled anger. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“Aren’t you scared?” Levi continued, ignoring your question. “You could’ve picked the easy way.”

“It would’ve been in vain. My village was wiped out shortly after Wall Maria fell.”

He hummed, his hands coming down to rest on the wooden notches of his desk, papers forgotten, “You were in the top ranks. You could’ve joined the military police.”

“And hear how my comrades died instead of helping them?” you gawked.

“It’s a lot better than watching.”

You shut your mouth then, lips pressing tightly together. You didn’t understand why your captain was questioning you like this.

“I see the way you are with them,” his tone softened, not looking you in the eyes as he spoke. “How you all are.”

“Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I’ll forget the purpose of the scouts,” you said defensively, crossing your arms. “I have my own ass to account for.”

Levi pushed off his chair suddenly, scraping the just mopped floor and jolting up to his legs, “You have no idea what it’s like out there. Your friends are going to die, cadet. There’ll be nothing you can do to save them. Are you prepared for that? Collecting their bodies, or whatever’s left of them to take home to their families?”

Your mouth went dry, jaw slacking, “Captain, I know what loss feels like. My family is dead, some of my so called ‘friends’ died in Trost. I know what I signed up for.”

He scoffed, circling around his desk to stand a few feet away from you, “Haven’t you seen enough?”

“Are you trying to get me to quit the Survey Corps?” you asked incredulously.

“Yes. You don’t belong here,” his tone was rough as he spat at you. “Go find a husband. Get the fuck out of the military.”

“I don’t want to,” your anger simmered as you stared down at your boots. “I don’t have a home to go back to. I can’t leave. I know the other cadets aren’t my friends. I’m just trying to make the best out of my life before I die. I know I’m going to die. What’s so wrong about trying to find comfort in others?”

“You are a fool,” he seethed, teeth clenched. “You want to die?”

You shook your head, not bothering to keep the conversation going, “I’m going to bed, Captain. I’ll see you tomorrow for the mission.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, cadet,” Levi towered over you now as your hand wrapped around the doorknob.

You brought your fist up to your chest in a salute as you began to exit, “With absolutely no disrespect, I’m exhausted. Have a good night, Captain.”

You pushed the door shut in front of you as you stood in the hallway. You knew you would be getting an ear full from Levi in the morning, but honestly, the conversation was beginning to stir up feelings you’d rather not address. Intrusive thoughts filled your mind as you made your way to the first floor where your temporary bedroom resided.

You couldn’t answer Levi’s question because in a way, in a very selfish train of thought, you didn’t want to be a part of the titan’s world anymore, whether that meant death or something else. How easy it would be for you to greedily pack your things and leave the military and take refuge in some random village to live out the rest of your days, however long they would be. Or to just simply become fodder for the titans in your quest to rid the world of their reign.

Your uniform was folded on your bedside table, a cotton shirt and shorts on your body as you sat on your bed over the covers. You could hear the soft snores of Christa as she slumbered peacefully in the bed across the room, and you gazed over her body under her covers. You knew the people you trained with, fought with, grew fond of, were not your friends. How could they be? It’d only make things harder in the end. Like Levi had said, you might be the one collecting their deceased bodies after a battle. How could you ever grow close to someone that you knew their days were numbered?

The 104th cadets were your comrades, not your makeshift family. You had to remind yourself of that every time Sasha would ask for your leftovers, batting her big eyes at you. When Eren would spar with you, telling you how strong you were and commending you on how far you had come since the first day of the Training Corps. How Mikasa literally saved your life, and how you had admired her ever since. Armin’s unmatched potential and growth. Jean’s relentless taunting, giving you the nickname of gram because of your age. Connie, well frankly, just being Connie. Reiner and Bertholdt’s strong will and passion. Annie’s unwavering willpower and prowess. All the other cadets who you’d gotten to know so well, you had to constantly imagine their corpses as they smiled at you and tried to get to know you. So, you stayed back, opting to be alone at any opportunity, so their deaths would be easier to swallow when the time came.

You squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head to try and rid yourself of your thoughts. It was of no use, and with a sigh you pushed yourself out of your bed. You deemed it would be yet again another sleepless night, and you realized sadly you had left your tea cup in Levi’s office completely untouched. You didn’t bother to entertain the thought of going back to retrieve it, instead you slinked through your bedroom door and out of the headquarters.

The night air was chilly, and you felt regret for not grabbing your jacket on your way out. The moon was gone, a completely black night, and you could see the stars crystal clear. The sky was your favorite sight, especially on nights like this.

You found a nice patch of soft grass, and laid on your back to gaze up at the sky. This was always your comfort, even as a child, to go outside and watch the sky, day or night. Your mother would warn you that your eyes would fall out of your head if you stared too long at the sun, at the moon. You didn’t care, because in those moments you felt so free. Free of the walls that caged you inside, of the world around you. You were the clouds, the stars, the wind as it rolled past. Maybe you were never meant to be human, you mused. You were meant to be nature, never to experience the trials and tribulations of sentinel living. You were supposed to be free, all knowing and ignorant at the same time, existing without the weight of consciousness.

“Thought you were going to bed, cadet?”

You were startled by the boom of a familiar voice behind you, collecting yourself and clearing your throat, “I couldn’t sleep.”

Levi’s head bobbed into your field of vision, “Thought too hard today?”

You rolled your eyes, feeling guilty as you caught the action afterwards and hoped your captain wouldn’t find it as a disrespect, “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Why are you out here of all places, without a jacket?” out of the corner of your eye you watched as Levi brought himself down to sit next to you.

“I like watching the sky,” you put simply, trying not to make eye contact. “Makes me feel better.”

“About dying?” he said, and you knew that he wouldn’t let your previous conversation go. You decided to humor him, if only to get these thoughts out of your mind.

“Yes.”

“Like what?” he almost sounded uninterested, but from his line of questioning you knew he was anything but.

“I don’t want to die,” you admitted, digging your fingernails into the grass by your waist. “I don’t want to watch anyone die. I never wanted to join the military. I felt like I had no choice.”

“We always have a choice,” he leaned his back to see whatever had your attention draw above you.

“Either fight the titans or get eaten alive when they attack the walls?” you snorted. “What a hard decision to make.”

“Why’d you join the Survey Corps?” he asked once again.

“I didn’t want my family’s death to be in vain. I had cousins, aunts and uncles in Shiganshina.”

“What about your death?”

“I hope it’ll mean something,” you breathed, feeling your chest get tight. “I hope this all will mean something.”

Levi looked at you then, a glimmer of something you couldn’t identify in his eyes, “You sound like Erwin when you talk like that.”

You made eye contact, a small smile on your lips, “The Commander’s an amazing man. I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

Levi scoffed, “Take it as you will.”

“What else could I do? I’m trying so hard to make a difference, to make life easier for others so they don’t have to suffer this fate. Isn’t that why we all joined the Survey Corps?” you continued your train of thought. “Maybe we all have a death wish. Fuck, I know I have one. It all just fucking hurts, Captain. I can’t help but think of others all the time, of all the loss and the grief they've gone through, what I’ve been through. At what will keep happening until all the titans are gone for good.”

“Why the sky?” he changed the subject, seemingly bored of your repetitive narrative.

“Because there’s no titans up there,” you joked without humor. “There’s no walls, no boundaries, no rules. It’s never ending. Where are the stars? How does day and night occur? Where does the moon go when the sun’s out? It amazes me, that’s all. Makes me think of how big the world is, of what’s out there besides this.”

“You think too much for a brainless brat,” Levi grumbled, laying on his back and joining you.

“I know,” you chuckled, turning your body to face him. “Wish I could turn off all my thoughts, it would probably make life a whole lot more livable.”

He hummed, eyes drawn in to your face, “I understand. What you said earlier, too, about finding comfort in others.”

“What do you mean?” you propped your head on your hand and you positioned your elbow to support you.

“I guess I never thought about it before tonight,” he blinked, expression unreadable. “Life as a soldier isn’t a comforting one. I guess that’s what I was trying to tell you about.”

You read between the lines of his words, recognizing it as his form of an apology, “I know. But it’s still the life I chose. At least I’m trying to make a difference, we all are.”

“Y’know, I’ve been paying attention to you for some time now. I didn’t understand when Erwin came to me and told me you had asked to be put on my squad. I took a look in your file, and I saw you after the attack on Trost, and I still didn’t understand,” Levi spoke slowly. “I don’t think I get you at all, even now.”

“I don’t think I understand myself,” you laughed dryly, returning your attention to the sky.

“You should get some sleep, cadet,” he advised softly, pushing himself off the ground. “And for fuck’s sake do it soon, I won’t be taking care of your ass if you get a cold.”

Levi stalked off before you could utter a response. You sighed, and decided his words were wise enough to follow. A few moments after your captain had left you, you followed his pathway back to the entrance of the former headquarters. You entered, making a hasty retreat back to your room where Christa was still knocked out cold.

Under your covers, you replayed your conversations with Levi. You still couldn’t figure out why he had questioned you like he had, why he even cared in the first place. Maybe it was his own gnawing curiosity, trying to understand why some random twenty-something year old girl insisted on being in his squad like you had. Maybe, you thought egotistically, you had your own reputation. You inwardly snorted, probably not.

Images of your captain under the moonlight played beneath your eyelids as you finally managed to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

The mission had gone horribly wrong. At least for you, to be honest you had no idea where the rest of your comrades were as you raced on your horse, desperately searching the sky for flares. You hadn’t seen a single one in a while now, at least ten minutes, and your heart was thudding hard as thoughts that the entire fleet of soldiers you had joined had been decimated. You were completely alone, the walls distant behind you. All you knew is that you couldn’t stop, couldn’t turn around or else you’d really be lost.

The 104th had stayed behind at the former headquarters, this having been a smaller expedition to clear out some titans before the planned 57th expedition in a few weeks. Levi, Oluo, Petra, and Gunther, as well as a few other squads accompanying you, were in a near perfect formation when an abnormal titan had broken through, killing a few unnamed soldiers at your side that you had never met before today.

In the far left distance, you could see a large forest full of trees. Your jaw slacked open, relief running through your veins when you caught sight of some men on horses heading that direction. Green flares shot up high in the sky, and you pulled the reins of your mare to follow. Your plan was brought to a screeching halt though, as you heard the thunderous footsteps shake your horse, and your body. You threw a glance behind your shoulder, a ten meter titan running straight towards you. You reached to your side quickly, shooting a red flare above you to warn any close by comrades.

The titan was gaining speed, about a dozen yards now behind you. You really wanted to avoid confrontation was much as possible, but as those yards closed between you and the titan, you growled and prepared yourself. You gave your horse a soft pat on her neck, and heaved yourself to stand on the saddle. You gaged your surroundings, seeing complete flat plains all around you, not an ideal situation for fighting at all.

Your odm gear shot you straight to the titan’s legs, a plan instilled in your head on the best way to take it down. It was fairly thin and muscular, but you decided it was just a plain titan as it dumbly stared at you with its wicked grin. Your dual blades locked in your hands now, you swung behind the titan and sliced through its ankles. The ten meter fell swiftly, giving you the perfect opportunity to land on its nape and kill it. It stilled completely beneath you after your swift cuts, and you ran as fast as your body willed you to rejoin your mare.

You placed your fingers to your lips, whistling as loud as you could. Your horse, at least 100 feet away, perked its ears and turned at a rapid speed straight back to you. She neighed as she reached your form, and you hauled yourself back on her saddle, kicking your legs for her to break into a full gallop to where the green flares still lingered in the air.

You didn’t bother to signal another flare in the air, seeing no other flares around you. As you neared closer to the forest, you felt incredibly relieved at the sight of your squad, now able to make out their faces. Petra waved her hands high in the air, about 20 feet away now. You saw Oluo, Gunther, and Levi, unharmed, as you got closer, bringing your horse down to a slightly slower gait, seeing no titans around.

“Are you okay?” Petra shouted at you once you reached the group. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m okay!” you spoke as fast as you could. “The other cadets I was with were killed by an abnormal, I got split up from them.”

“What was that red flare?” Oluo questioned, worry riddled in his eyes.

“It’s fine, I killed it,” you breathed shakily. “Where are the others?”

“Retreating back to the walls,” Levi answered, voice hard and commanding. “We’re out of blades, and there've been too many casualties. The others have the deceased’s bodies.”

You and your squad nodded, and with no further delay, you broke your horses into a full sprint back to the walls. The sun hung low in the sky, sunset merely a few hours away. Now in a formation in the clear open plains, you noticed out of the corner of your eye some movement.

“Abnormal titan to the right!” you screamed, turning your head to watch the titan’s arms flail, running in an irregular pattern.

“Holy fuck,” Gunther’s eyes widened in horror, shooting a black flare into the sky. “That’s got to be a 15 meter!”

“Don’t engage!” Levi barked, eyes trained straight ahead at the walls. “Keep an eye on it!”

“Sir!” the four of you quipped.

It seemed the abnormal titan had other plans as it caught sight of the five of you, its pace changing with intentions.

“It’s heading straight towards us!” Petra called out, flickering her eyes between the running titan and your captain. “Orders, Captain?”

Levi kept silent, much to your horrors. It was only a few yards away now, speed not slowing. Levi’s attention was completely ahead, the walls almost in full view. You were so close, not close enough though and the abnormal titan’s legs moved faster.

“Captain Levi!” Oluo shouted, eyebrows shot into his hairline.

The titan was less than three yards away when Levi finally spoke, “Petra, Oluo, make it fast!”

You shot off your horse before Levi’s lips opened, his commands unheard by you. Your odm ropes attached right into the titan’s ankles, just like how you had done before. There’s a reason they called it an abnormal titan though you discovered as its fingers closed around the wiring of your gear, yanking the ropes out of its skin and hauling your body up.

You squirmed, mashing your buttons desperately to get your hooks out of its fist as you were brought to the titan’s mouth. It was an ugly son of a bitch, teeth on full display in its evil smile. You couldn’t believe how badly you had fucked up again, the titan’s other hand gaining momentum as it lifted to wrap its disgusting meaty fingers around you. You watched as the fingers were sliced off before they could reach you, and suddenly you were free falling as the hand holding your odm ropes fell from its arm. You redirected yourself back to its ankles, back to your original plan of taking out the nerves to allow the titan to fall, your nerves entirely shot, your adrenaline in full control.

Levi had both his swords drawn as he met you at the back of the 15 meter’s legs, “Are you trying to get yourself fucking killed? You should’ve let the others handle it!”

“I thought I had it, Captain!” you curtly shouted, cutting through the tendons and getting sprayed with steaming blood. The titan did not falter though, but thankfully you and Levi had created a useful diversion as Petra, and Oluo took out the titan’s nape. You and your group shot back to your horses as the titan fell from its height, dead on impact.

The opening of the gate of Wall Rose was a fucking blessing, and your squad couldn’t have ran through it any faster. You heard the roaring of the gate as it closed behind you, and you were choking on shallow breaths as you slowed your mare’s gait.

None of you spoke a single word as you returned to the former headquarters, exhausted after the adrenaline of your mission wore off. You returned your horses to the stables, where feed and water awaited them. Your squad practically ran off, and you were confused until you saw the pissed off look of your superior aimed directly at you. Gulping down spit, you turned on your heel, ready to take off.

Levi’s arm shot out around your bicep, harshly tugging you to stop your escape, “Are you a fucking idiot, cadet? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I thought I could take out the titan by its ankles!” you defended quickly, gritting your teeth as his fingers dug into your clothed arm. “It’s how I took out the other titan I killed, Captain!”

“You better learn quickly that all titans are not the same! Or did you not learn that in training?” Levi growled out between clenched teeth.

“I thought I could take it out,” you grumbled, ripping your arm out of his grip.

“You betrayed my orders. You listen to me and my commands, cadet,” he spat out, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes burning holes into yours. “Remember your place.”

You pivoted yourself away from your captain, trotting ahead to head inside the headquarters, voice laced with malice as you grumbled, “I’ll do as I see fit.”

This would be the second time Levi hadn’t dismissed you before leaving him behind, you realized as you arrived at the communal bathroom. You sighed heavily, leaning back against the closed door, completely alone. Thankfully, it was very late in the evening, and if your comrades weren’t in bed already, they would be heading to sleep soon. You were so relieved to get some much needed alone time, especially now that you had such a terrible day.

You changed out of your blood soaked uniform, not bothering to fold it as you laid the clothes on the floor. Stark naked, you began to fill the bathtub basin with running water, a very rare luxury due to the previous care when the headquarters was up and running. With the porcelain half filled, the water steaming, you sunk your aching body into the scalding bath. The water turned a deep pink as you scrubbed your skin with a rag that had been resting over the rim. You untied your hair and dipped your head back, threading your fingers through your knots after generously coating the strands with soap. You drained the dirty water, refilling it back up now that most of the dirt and blood had been washed away. The tub held a pastel pink hue now, but you felt much cleaner and you sunk back in the tub, stretching out as much as you could.

You didn’t dare close your eyes for too long, picturing the events of today. You didn’t try to reflect on the lives that had been lost on today’s mission, the strangers you never had the pleasure, or perhaps displeasure, of getting to know. It made it easier in a sense to forget, to keep pushing forward. Still, the gore and the cruelty of what being a part of the scouts was truly about haunted the corners of your mind as you absentmindedly rubbed soap along your limbs. Maybe you were trying to wash away these memories, too.

Half an hour later, you decided it was time to dry off and get into comfortable clothing as the water cooled and your skin had pruned. You unplugged the drain, standing and reaching for a towel. Wrapping the fabric around your chest, you stepped out of the tub, feet leaving wet prints on the floor as you treaded to your bedroom, soiled clothes in hand.

An oversized white long sleeve hung off your frame, accompanied by your favorite cotton shorts as you sat on your bed, completely alone. Christa had briefly mentioned before your mission this morning that she’d be spending the night with Ymir, to which you were inwardly grateful for the promise of solidarity. As you sat hunched over, you found yourself longing for the comforting presence of someone, anyone, to distract you from the images that plagued your mind, no matter how hard you tried to push them away.

You jerked with a start as you pictured the angry face of your captain, feeling immense guilt pool in your gut. You had never spoken so much with Levi before yesterday, realizing the weight of your words and actions, reckless and undermining his authority. Maybe you owed him an apology, for if nothing else to at least calm your mind enough for sleep.

You didn’t remember the walk when you had arrived outside the captain’s door, or could recall if you had knocked before it swung open, revealing Levi’s surprised expression.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, nervously tugging at your sleeves as you avoided eye contact. “I’ve been disrespectful, Captain, and I’m sorry.”

“Cadet,” his teeth clenched tightly. “Do you understand what time it is?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you whimpered, legs ready for a moment's notice of a retreat. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave—“

Levi’s hand shot out to circle your wrist, and you finally looked up into his charcoal eyes, “Don’t, come in.”

You couldn’t protest as you guided you into his room, shutting the door behind you after you passed the entry. Levi was dressed casually, beige cotton shirt hanging off his torso, plain grey pants on his lower half. The bags under his eyes told you he had also not been able to fall asleep. He led you to sit on his neatly made bed, towering over you with his arms tightly crossed.

“I was on my way to check on you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What?”

“You didn’t knock,” Levi clarified, looking anywhere but at you. “I was already at the door. You’d seen a lot today. I don’t need my soldiers having breakdowns after every mission.”

He was worried about you, your breath halted in your throat.

“Oh,” you dumbly said.

“Seems like you did me a favor by coming here,” he mused, sighing as he ran a hand through his bangs. “Why can’t you sleep?”

“Thinking, again, about everything,” you crossed your thighs, body language signally how uncomfortable you were upon talking about these feelings.

“Your brain is going to cause you more grief if you don’t stop,” Levi’s spare hand grasped your chin gently, bringing your head up so you could look him in the eyes. “Why do you insist on being alone with these thoughts?”

“Captain, weren’t you just saying it’s a bad idea to have friends?” you could feel the pounding of your heart in your chest at his gesture, unsure of his intentions.

“Weren't you just talking about finding comfort in others?” Levi leaned down, you felt his breath against your lips as he spoke. “I’ve been paying attention to you for awhile, cadet.”

“You looked in my file, you told me already,” you whispered, unsure that if you spoke at full volume your voice wouldn’t quiver.

“No, I’ve been watching you. You’re not exactly quiet when you sneak out at night, y’know. I’ve seen you,” he hesitated briefly before continuing. “I’ve watched you cry all alone, how you try to distance yourself from the others. I was testing you yesterday, brat. I think I understand now, though.”

Your captain crouched down to meet you at eye level, fingertips never straying from your chin, and you felt your lip quiver as he rasped, “I understand, because I get it. You’ve always felt alone, haven't you?”

You nodded, scared to voice the truth, he continued, “I’m not going to explain myself to you, and if I hear a single word spoken about any of our conversations, I will personally sign your extermination paperwork. You’re different, you’re not like the others. You know what grief is, what pain and loss feels like. Your mission, your goals, it keeps driving you forward. Who couldn’t notice that?”

Levi scoffed, and you managed out a tiny, “Captain Levi.”

“Yes?”

“Why are you telling me this?” you could feel the harsh prick of tears try to escape your eyes, blinking furiously to not allow them to fall.

“Because,” he brushed back your hair behind your ear with his spare hand. “We’re exactly the same, and I can’t allow you to continue living like this, knowing where you’ll end up. Are you a virgin, cadet?”

“Yes,” you stuttered, thoroughly embarrassed.

“I am too,” Levi confessed, his eyes baring his soul. “I’m in my thirties, and I’ve never taken a woman to bed. All because of my mission.”

“My parents raised me to save myself for marriage,” your lips hung open. “But, they’re dead now, and I’ll probably never be married.”

“Cadet?” Levi’s hand came up from your chin to rest his palm against your cheek. “You talk about choices, you told me about how you never followed the path set for you. Why don’t you allow yourself some peace, some comfort? If not for yourself, for others, for your fellow comrades?”

“Are you asking to fuck me, sir?” your body felt heavy, uncomfortably numb but you couldn’t will yourself to move an inch, your mind was frazzled.

“I’m asking for permission to comfort you, both of us. I’m tired of being alone, aren’t you?” his face had fallen completely, and you were in awe of how open and raw Levi was.

You didn’t answer him, instead pushing his hands off of your face to capture his cheeks in your own hands, forcing your lips together. Fuck the world, fuck the titans, fuck every single thing that dared to bother you and your existence. You were tired, tired of denying yourself pleasures and comfort and basic human interaction. Who cared if you all died? Would it be for naught that you had never gotten to know your comrades? What would be the point in dying for your military if you didn’t have a motivation, a passion driving you? You were so fucking lonely, and Levi was too as he crashed his lips against yours, wrapping his long arms around your back to hold you closer.

You felt the older ravenette pull away for a moment, tugging his shirt over his head to reveal his scarred and muscular chest. You ran your fingers over his middle slowly, taking in every dip and every flex of his body. Levi was beautiful, and you felt honored that you were here in this moment, with a man who had heard more of your thoughts and feelings than any person before. He stopped your hands as they came to his pecks, pushing your arms high to remove your own shirt.

Your nipples hardened meeting the cold air, exposed now in the dim candle light. You didn’t dare cover yourself, nor did Levi let you get the chance. His hands were all over your chest within an instant, caressing and groping as his lips met yours once again. You hadn’t bothered to tell Levi that he was your first kiss, the first man to see you naked, the first man who had shown genuine interest in you and your body. Maybe you’d tell him later, but for now, you just wanted to quell the thoughts swarming your mind.

You stood quickly, maneuvering your lips to the side of his exposed neck. Your kisses were sweet, innocent and pure as Levi began to pull your shorts off, your panties accompanying the fabric. You kicked out of them as Levi grabbed the back of your head, groaning as he slammed your mouths together once more in an open kiss.

Your hands were everywhere on his skin, trying desperately to remember every single detail, knowing that this would most likely be a one time thing. You knew the risks of becoming entangled in a romantic relationship in the military, more so the scouts. Levi or you, or anyone, could die at any moment. This only motivated you further in your desire, ripping down his pants, mildly surprised to see your captain not wearing any underpants.

Levi breathily mumbled as he grasped your waist and led you flat on your back atop his bed, “I thought you were dead today.”

“I’m not, and neither are you,” you hushed his spoken thoughts with another passionate kiss. He tasted minty from his tea, smelled of woodsy musk from his obvious earlier shower, his touch so soft as he grazed your body up and down.

You felt his knees between your legs as he loomed over you, pushing apart your thighs at the force. His right hand stroked your cheek as his tongue prodded past your willing lips, swollen from his attention. His left hand ventured south, resting upon the curve of your hip, digging his fingers to feel the supple flesh.

“You’re quite beautiful, y’know,” he mirrored your earlier ministrations, placing sloppy kisses down your jaw and neck. “One of the reasons I was so fascinated by you, I couldn’t understand how you weren’t married.”

“Maybe in another life,” you simply put, attention drawn to how sinful his lips felt against your flushed skin. He sucked on a particularly sensitive spot, and a whimper left your lips at the contact. You could feel your center slicken, cold air consuming all of your exposed skin. Levi’s hand dared closer and closer to your desire, and you made out the distinguished poke of his manhood against your lower stomach.

When his fingertips nudged against your folds, Levi let out a groan of pleasure, “You’re so wet, cadet. I’ve barely touched you.”

“Captain, I need this,” you begged, your hands wrapping around his neck to pull him flush against you. “Please, distract me, make me forget.”

Levi felt no need to answer your pleads, instead allowing his fingers to familiarize himself with your most intimate of parts. His eyes stayed trained on yours, taking in every expression you made, one catching his focus immediately as his pointer finger circled the top of your folds. It felt like a button, and you started moaning desperately as he continued his circling.

“Feels good?” your captain asked, insecurity in the back of his mind.

“Yes,” you took your right hand away from Levi’s neck, grabbing his wrist that was in between your legs, dipping his fingers to your dripping entrance. “Need you here.”

He plunged his pointer and middle fingers in, and your velveteen walls clenched around him. You had pleasured yourself many times just like this, but the heightened pleasure of someone else’s knuckles deep inside you was incredible. No one had ever touched you like this before, looked at you so lovingly and so lustfully. His fingers scissored inside you, and you knew your patience would soon snap.

When Levi’s fingers curled upwards, you thought you were going to pass out. Your eyes screwed shut as loud mewls left your lips, Levi’s free hand covering your mouth. Your hips bucked upwards in his touch, hips rolling fast as your clit caught the fat of his palm. You could feel the familiar bubble of your climax, threatening to spill over as you arched your back.

Levi pulled his fingers from your weeping cunt then, so agonizingly slowly, “No, cadet. Not yet.”

You whined, pressure settling down in your abdomen as Levi took his soaking hand to his hard cock. You couldn’t believe that you hadn’t paid attention to his girth before, he was gorgeous. All the hard work and all the violence had sculpted your captain as if he were a statue. His length stood at full attention, pressed against his belly, his balls hanging in the free space between his thick thighs. You moaned at the sight of Levi stroking himself, seeing the glisten of your arousal coat him. He let out a strangled groan, before letting himself go, falling unceremoniously to capture your lips once again.

“You ready?” Levi asked permission, his kiss so sweet and tender, and you realized then the weight of all of this. You were about to lose your virginities to each other, he would forever hold a mark on you.

You smiled, so full of adoration, there wasn’t anyone else you’d rather be with right now as you spoke, “Yes, sir.”

Levi gripped the base of his dick, bumping the engorged head against your sensitive clit and through your folds as he coated himself more in your essence. You both knew this was going to hurt you, and had either of you not been in such a hurry, you’d take the time to mutually pleasure each other until your bodies were truly ready for this intimate act. There were no coherent thoughts in this moment, only pure passion and animalistic desire.

His tip sunk in, and you felt like you were going to be split in half. Your hands shot up to his arms, nails leaving half crescents on his biceps, your ankles hooking together on his ass as you tensed up at the pain.

“Relax,” he kissed your jaw with a groan. “Gonna’ take care of you.”

You nodded, focusing on his words instead of the pain. Your pelvic floor relaxed, and Levi was able to push himself deeper into your cavern.

“There’s no blood?” Levi questioned you curiously as he glanced down to where your bodies met, not moving even a centimeter to allow you to adjust.

The pain was quickly fading as you mumbled, “Probably broke my hymen on a goddamn horse.”

You both let out a breathy laugh, and Levi’s right hand came to stroke your cheek, pushing back your hair out of your face, “I’ll have to kill that horse then.”

You were rattling your brain for a witty response to your captain when Levi shifted, stroking his length backwards as your walls fluttered around him. Your face was no longer scrunched in pain, your eyebrows unfurrowed and your mouth hung open, feeling nothing but pleasure as his left hand shot to your pulsing pussy, thumbing your clit with the lightest of touches.

“Captain,” you stuttered, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Feels good.”

“Yeah,” he pushed his forehead to yours, his own eyes closing as he pushed his cock back into your depths, so slowly.

You placed a gentle kiss to his lips for a brief moment, neck craning off the pillow under your head. You felt a cramp as he kissed you back, so gently and so softly. You moved your mouth to his jaw, peppering kisses along any exposed skin you reach.

His right hand stayed positioned to your face, his grey colored orbs opened, focusing on your face. You looked up then, and felt your heart hammering in your chest. Levi was so handsome, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes softened without the weight of reality crashing down on him.

“I’m glad it’s you,” your arms were still wrapped around his neck as you rubbed soft circles along the ridge of his undercut. His hips held such a passionate, steady rhythm as he continued plunging into you.

Levi didn’t respond, his hand angling your face to his again. Although unspoken, you could see in his face that he appreciated your words, his thrusts faster in pace now. You couldn’t stop the moans from exiting your throat, volume increasing as his thumb worked you with more pressure. He swallowed your noises with his lips, not even kissing, the two of you just breathing into one another’s mouth.

Suddenly the distance wasn’t close enough, Levi’s hand left the curve of your cheek to wrap his arm around the middle of your back, forcing your body completely against his sweating one. His lips began to work against yours, sloppy and messy as you kissed the man back with the same fever.

Levi’s pace was solid, deep and without error. Your hips tried desperately to meet his thrusts, his wrist in between your centers blocking you from doing so. Your captain didn’t even so much as warn you to stop, his thumb rolling faster against your now swollen clit, that same heat in your stomach rebuilding rapidly. The two of you were so lost in each other, your arms leaving his neck to wrap around his shoulders and forcing his head down to your neck where he lapped and peppered kisses to conceal his own moans. You did the same, lips attached to the curve where his muscular shoulder met his neck.

His touch was unrelenting, but you felt the unmistakable shutter as he plunged right to your cervix, goosebumps rising on his skin under your fingertips. You let out a muffled moan, your nails clawing at his back, your legs somehow tighter around his backside.

Levi’s thumb rubbed harder, so much faster now than his thrusts. Your pussy was fluttering rapidly now, clenching and unclenching around his girth, you were so close. You had a feeling your captain was as well, his pace increasing even faster.

“I’m cumming,” you pulled away from his shoulder to warn Levi, sucking the sensitive area of his neck.

Levi moaned in pleasure, bucking his hips hard into you, and this was what sent you over the edge. Levi couldn’t move even if he wanted to as your cunt gripped him so tightly, contracting so hard around his length. You could hear a string of curses and ‘ah’s from his lips as your hips bucked wildly into his hand, rubbing your clit along his stilled thumb. You’d had plenty of self given orgasms before, but feeling completely filled as your walls fluttered around something was a pleasure you knew you’d be seeking again.

Your teeth were sunk into his neck, and Levi was finally able to continue his strokes as your orgasm slowed, your body limping. His thumb started once more, and you were whimpering at the overstimulation, your contractions not even done. He was pounding into you now, growling into your neck, you could feel the sharp clench of his jaw dig into your shoulder. It didn’t take you more than a minute to build up another orgasm, and as the new waves of pleasure slammed into you, Levi was pulling out.

You came around nothing as Levi rutted into your stomach, feeling the smear of hot cum rub against your middles. He was bucking desperately, moaning and whimpering. The sounds he made paired with the nonstop movement of his thumb only heightened your pleasure, your left hand coming to caress the back of his head.

He removed his touch from you, taking his dripping hand to your waist as his thrusts against your stomach slowed. It crawled under your back to meet his other arm, and he placed sensual, slow kisses to your neck. You did the same, thanking him non verbally. His head lifted, eyes half lidded as he placed his lips to yours, locking them in a saccharine embrace. He pulled away after a few moments, sliding off of your sticky body and out of the bed. Your arms fell to your sides, and he slipped his pants on, avoiding the area of his lower stomach where his cum was drying quickly. He rushed to his dresser, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping himself down quickly, returning back to your body to clean your middle as well.

“You’ll probably need to shower,” Levi broke the silence as he pulled the rag away, his empty hand roaming the curve of your side.

“Probably,” you mumbled in bliss, enjoying his light touch. “I’ll get up in just a minute.”

“You could stay,” Levi offered awkwardly, halting his movements.

“It’s okay, I think I want to be alone,” you smiled, your brain foggy. “Also don’t need rumors to start up if anyone sees me leaving your room in the morning.”

Levi only hummed as you pulled your naked body to a full stand, reaching for your discarded clothes. You pulled your long sleeve over your head first, the edges brushing against the tops of your thighs, stepping into your panties and shorts quickly. The silence was almost overwhelming, neither of you sure of what exactly to say.

“Captain Levi,” you finally spoke, ready to depart. “Thank you.”

He grabbed your wrist, pulling your body to his with no real force, kissing you passionately. You kissed him back hungrily, and had you been more experienced, you would’ve felt the flicker of sparks deep within your stomach, a signal of unconscious feelings sprouting within you.

You pulled away from him, a smile playing at your lips as he spoke raspily, “You know where to go if you don’t want to be alone.”

You threaded your fingers through his open palm, bringing his knuckles to your lips as you placed a soft peck to the back of his hand, “I will, Captain. Goodnight.”

The heat of the sun beat harshly on your back, your body in a full ache as you dodged a punch from Eren. You went to lift your leg into a kick, a yelp leaving your lips at the feeling that you were going to rip in half, and quickly shifted your hips to plan a new attack. Thankfully, your fake out worked, seeing Eren prepare himself for your leg, not for your first to go flying into his gut.

With a loud groan of pain, Eren laid flat on his back in the dirt. Your chests heaved, sweat dripping down your skin, and you extended your palm to the younger boy. You had won this spar, and Eren huffed as he smacked his hand away playfully.

“I had you last time! I can’t believe I lost again!” he complained, eyebrows furrowed as he screwed his eyes shut in a fit.

You laughed then, crossing your arms over your chest, “You got lucky, Jaeger.”

Around the two of you, all the cadets were still in their own sparring matches. Even in your weary state, you had been the first match finished, and you feel a swell of pride. You were getting stronger, more fit to survive the harsh reality of this world.

“Cadets,” Captain Levi made himself known then, stepping forward from the row of squad leaders, unbeknownst to you and Eren he had been watching with a trained eye the entire fight.

“Captain!” you saluted, Eren lazily following along silently.

Levi’s eyes lingered over you for a minute, before shifting his attention to Eren before scoffing, “Pathetic, Jaeger. You need to work on your form.”

You tried desperately to hide a smirk, eyes lit up in amusement as Eren frowned deeply, sighing, trying not to lash out on your superior. Levi continued, “Cadet, good job.”

“Thank you, Captain,” you smiled brightly, now trying to conceal the oncoming heat of your blush flaming up your neck, licking the tips of your ears.

“However, never let your guard down after you think you’ve won.”

The sound of your skull cracking into the ground beneath you sent your vision in a dizzy frenzy. Levi hovered over you, and you could make out the lingering feeling of his boot hitting your stomach, causing you to lay flat on your back. The sun was high in the sky today, not a single cloud in view or whisk of wind felt.

“Ow,” you heaved, bringing yourself into a seated position, hunched over. “What was that for?”

“You can’t always predict what a titan’s next move is going to be,” Levi cooly explained, crouching down to meet your eye level. “This is how you fucked up, both times, with an abnormal. You have to pay attention. You can’t let yourself get caught up in a victory. Understood, brat?”

You nodded, feeling your ears grow hot as multiple sets of eyes watched on in curiosity, “Yes, sir.”

“I’ll see you in my office after dinner for your punishment,” his eyes twinkled, a hint of a smirk on the corner of his lips. “Cockiness is not befitting for a brat like you.”

You groaned, biting your tongue to hold back words you knew would come across as disrespectful. You didn’t see what you did to deserve a punishment, but you huffed as Levi strolled away, yelling at Eren about something. Probably about his smirk when he watched you fall on your ass.

Turns out your punishment was anything but, instead a much rougher fucking left your body nearly in shambles. This became a routine, instead of traveling outside to stare at the stars and lose yourself in your thoughts, Levi’s body became your comfort, your relief. He felt the same, pouring his loneliness into your willing body as he claimed you night after night, week after week.

He’d tell you sometimes in the afterglow of your orgasms that this was strengthening the squad, this was for the betterment of the scouts. Because what better way was there to build trust? You’d listen half heartedly, knowing this was all an excuse to rationalize why you continued seeking each other’s comfort.

Levi was soon fiercely protective of you, and you unconsciously him. This was reinforced after the 57th expedition failed horribly, the faces of your deceased squad members haunting your dreams every night. Levi would hold you as you sobbed through the nightmares. It hurt, so fucking much. Levi would whisper to you that you just had to keep moving forward. You would nod your head and listen. Your captain knew best, and you were finding it harder every passing day to pretend that he didn’t.

You didn’t try to make sense of your relationship, just letting it exist. Some days you’d push him away, others you’d pull the ravenette closer to your body. Caught between wanting to leave the man you’d realized you’d fallen in love with, or go into hiding away from the military with Levi and marry the son of a bitch. You liked to think he felt the same, his words few, but his acts spoke volumes of his feelings.

And when you laid limp on the battlefield, titan corpses steaming around you, your breaths shallow as your tired body began to prepare to shut down, you smiled. Everything all at once came flooding to you as you stared up at the sky, completely alone.

You blinked at the clouds, painted so pretty in pinks and oranges at the setting sun. You could hear your name being screamed somewhere in the distance, the voice vaguely familiar. You felt relief wash over you as the large open wound on your stomach gushed an unbelievable amount of blood. Full of shock, your adrenaline keeping your pain at bay, you thought humorously that you had no idea you had that much blood running through your body.

Raven hair and charcoal eyes entered your hazy vision, and you kept that smile on your face. Your fingers reached up, reaching Levi’s soaking cheek, not being able to tell if it was because of blood, or tears. You smoothed your thumb under his eye, and you were being lifted. You couldn’t hear his words, only the dullness of sound as the world continued to slow around you.

You stared at the clouds, completely at peace. You had conquered your biggest fear, growing close to another, just to lose them. Images of Levi flashes before your eyes, his stoic expression, his commanding leadership, his sensual caresses, his passionate kisses as he poured all of his feelings out for you. You loved him, you realized. You were so happy that you got to experience this in this lifetime.

The colors of the sky blurred together, and you could feel the wind whisk around you as Levi shot off on his odm gear. You were finally flying in the clouds.

LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.

[jdrizzle15]

Her Second Return

Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when she’s gone.

But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isn’t gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! I’m here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!

I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goes…

A Father’s Words:

In Episode 7 of Volume 7, ‘Worst Case Scenario’ we learn the origins of Penny’s aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time she’s brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.

Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, I’m not sure about this as I feel like it’s akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.

Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, ‘Amity’ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.

Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.

This entire scene with Pietro established “this is what will likely happen” even if circumstances are much different now, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is a key part of Penny’s story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.

Building Relationship:

The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesn’t feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when they’re separated?

In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how ‘just friends’ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...

Representation of Hope:

At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. It’s not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. It’s about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.

Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Ruby’s hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Ruby’s face is plain to see!

In V8 chapter 5 ‘Amity’, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Penny’s agency.

In chapter 11 ’Risk’ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how they’re going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.

It’s not huge, but it’s interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Penny’s scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, it’s interesting that it’s Penny.

Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them

The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Penny’s around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because she’ll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.

A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.

Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.

The Void Screams:

Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.

Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Penny’s death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.

And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.

Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.

The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. There’s also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.

Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.

Narnia Parallels:

Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares aren’t exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwood’s office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadis’s winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.

Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.

"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magician’s Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadis’s troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate ‘aoe’ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.

Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James it’s the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis it’s the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on one’s own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works — it must work — but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.” Jadis’s immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, how’s having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didn’t keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.

The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. ‘When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.’ Well, the ‘Stone Table’ in James’s office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlas’s people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Penny’s self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.

(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)

Norse Mythology:

The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.

Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.

I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.

The whole of Yggdrasil’s representations fit well into Penny’s story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Penny’s appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle she’s gone through before.

The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Penny’s life.

There’s another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odin’s death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.

This story doesn’t fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often don’t. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odin’s story here. What she did wasn’t for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odin’s story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.

Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.

It is said that Odin lived “according to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.

Side Note: I encourage anyone who’s interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, there’s a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but it’s fun to think about!

(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)

Ambrosius and the Staff:

Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered ‘longer than that’. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically don’t just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.

The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.

They’ve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, it’s a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.

Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.

A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics “fight for every life” playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, it’s a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Penny’s life.

Musical Hints:

In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Penny’s recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. It’s simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. There’s no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.

What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for “Fight for ev’ry life” and “Who fin’lly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they aren’t perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line “Fight for every life” comes just after “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall,” which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Penny’s sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.

For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Penny’s feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Penny’s feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrha’s? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.

If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)

(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)

What We Didn’t See:

It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about it’s abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we don’t get to hear her explain herself after her strained “Trust me.” All of that seems really suspicious to me.

Pyrrha Parallel:

Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesn’t make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him she’d be alright.

The Moment:

RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.

The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.

On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. It’s almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.

At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like it’s the first choice Penny’s ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isn’t the case. However, this is the first choice that Penny’s made solely independently and it’s rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.

Transfer of Power:

As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It’s possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jaune’s semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like something’s up with how that went down.

A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.

Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o it’s possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.

This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?

An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesn’t seem to fully disappear, she just glows.

It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!

And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and I’m not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...

Jaune’s Aura:

The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.

He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesn’t make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.

Pinocchio Allusion:

As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.

Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.

In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8’s post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.

Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. It’s an out there theory I admit, but it’s not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.

Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!

A Girl That Fell Through the World:

Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Ruby’s grief first and foremost, which Penny won’t see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Penny’s absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as it’s unrecognizable to her.

What Returning Brings:

Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.

As much as I hate saying it, Penny’s death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom that’s so important to her character.

Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but I’m not sure she ever realized just how much.

I didn’t want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.

It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think “wait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?” That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.

I’m certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think I’ve been going long enough already. So let’s just roll into the outro!

As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and aren’t jumping into something they don’t have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I don’t think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.

I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I don’t blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isn’t broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.

I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! It’s actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!

@arcana-amicus

@catontheweb

@cosmokyrin

@gaydontmesswithme224

@jammatown919

@shadow-0f-x

They really helped get this thing across the finish line!

And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!

[xoruffitup]

Annette: The AD Devotee Review

So I saw Annette on its premiere night in Cannes and I’m still trying to process and make sense of those 2.5 hours of utter insanity. I have no idea where to begin and this is likely going to become an unholy length by the time I’m finished, so I apologize in advance. But BOY I’ve got a lot to parse through!!

Let’s start here: Adam’s made plenty of weird movies. The Dead Don’t Die? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? There are definitely Terry Gilliam-esque elements of the unapologetically absurd and fantastical in Annette, but NOTHING comes close to this film. To put it bluntly, nothing I write in this post can prepare you for the eccentric phantasmagoria you’re about to sit through.

While the melodies conveying the story – at times lovely and haunting, at times whimsical, occasionally blunt and simple – add a unique sense of the surreal, the fact that it’s all presented in song somehow supplies the medium for this bizarre concoction of disparate elements and outlandish storytelling to all coalesce into a single genre-defying, disbelief-suspending whole. That’s certainly not to say there weren’t a few times when I quietly chortled to myself and mouthed “what the fuck” from behind my mask when things took an exceeding turn to the outrageous. This movie needs to be permitted a bit of leeway in terms of quality judgments, and traditional indicators certainly won’t apply. I would say part of its appeal (and ultimately its success) stems from its lack of interest in appealing to traditional arbiters of film structure and viewing experience. The movie lingers in studies of discomfiture (I’ll return to this theme); it presents all its absurdities with brazen pride rather than temperance; and its end is abrupt and utterly jarring. Yet somehow, at the end of it, I realized I’d been white-knuckling that rollercoaster ride the whole way through and loved every last twist and turn.

A note on the structure of this post before I dive in: I’ve written out a synopsis of the whole film (for those spoiler-hungry people) and stashed it down at the bottom of this post, so no one trying to avoid spoilers has to scroll through. If you want to read, go ahead and skip down to that before reading the discussion/analysis. If I have to reference a specific plot point, I’ll label it “Spoiler #___” and those who don’t mind being spoiled can check the correlating numbers in my synopsis to see which part I’m referencing. Otherwise, my discussion will be spoiler-free! I do detail certain individual scenes, but hid anything that would give away key developments and/or the ending.

To start, I’ll cut to what I’m sure many of you are here for: THE MUSICAL SEX SCENES. You want detailed descriptions? Well let’s fucking go because these scenes have been living in my head rent-free!!

The first (yes, there are two. Idk whether to thank Mr. Carax or suggest he get his sanity checked??) happens towards the end of “We Love Each Other So Much.” Henry carries Ann to the bed with her feet dangling several inches off the floor while she has her arms wrapped around his shoulders. (I maybe whimpered a tiny bit.) As they continue to sing, you first see Ann spread on her back on the bed, panting a little BUT STILL SINGING while Henry’s head is down between her thighs. The camera angle is from above Ann’s head, so you can clearly see down her body and exactly what’s going on. He lifts his head to croon a line, then puts his mouth right back to work. 

And THEN they fuck – still fucking singing! They’re on their sides with Henry behind her, and yes there is visible thrusting. Yes, the thrusting definitely picks up speed and force as the song reaches its crescendo. Yes, it was indeed EXTREMELY sensual once you got over the initial shock of what you’re watching. Ann kept her breasts covered with her own hands while Henry went down on her, but now his hands are covering them and kneading while they’re fucking and just….. It’s a hard, blazing hot R rating. I also remember his giant hand coming up to turn her head so he can kiss her and ladkjfaskfjlskfj. Bring your smelling salts. I don’t recommend sitting between two older ladies while you’re watching – KINDA RUINED THE BLATANT, SMOKING HOT ADAM PORN FOR ME. Good god, choose your viewing buddy wisely!

The second scene comes sort of out of nowhere – I can’t actually recall which song it was during, but it pops up while Ann is pregnant. Henry is again eating her out and there’s not as much overt singing this time, but he has his giant hands splayed over her pregnant belly while he’s going to town and whew, WHEW TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING PLEASE. DID THE THEATER INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE BY 10 DEGREES, YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT DID.

Whew. I think you’ll be better primed to ~enjoy~ those scenes when you know they’re coming, otherwise it’s just so shocking that by the time you’ve processed “Look at Adam eating pussy with reckless abandon” it’s halfway over already. God speed, my fellow rats, it’s truly something to witness!!

Okay. Right. Ahem. Moving right on along….

I’ll kick off this discussion with the formal structure of the film. It’s honestly impossible to classify. I have the questionable fortune of having been taken to many a strange avant-garde operas and art exhibitions by my parents when I was younger, and the strongest parallel I found to this movie was melodramatic opera stagings full of flamboyant flourishes, austere set pieces, and prolonged numbers where the characters wallow at length in their respective miseries. This movie has all the elevated drama, spectacle, and self-aggrandizement belonging to any self-professed rock opera. Think psychedelic rock opera films a la The Who’s Tommy, Hair, Phantom of the Paradise, and hell, even Rocky Horror. Yes, this film really is THAT weird.

But Annette is also in large part a vibrant, absurdist performance piece. The film is intriguingly book-ended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character; and your own role blurs between passive viewer and interactive audience. The first scene has the cast walking through the streets of LA (I think?), singing “So May We Start?” directly to the camera in a self-aware prologue, smashing the fourth wall from the beginning and setting up the audience to play a direct role in the viewing experience. Though the cast then disburse and take up their respective roles, the sense of being directly performed to is reinforced throughout the film. This continues most concretely through Henry’s multiple stand-up comedy performances.

Though he performs to an audience in the film rather than directly to live viewers, these scenes are so lengthy, vulgar, and excessive that his solo performance act becomes an integral part of defining his character and conveying his arc as the film progresses. These scenes start to make the film itself feel like a one-man show. The whole shtick of Henry McHenry’s “Ape of God” show is its perverse irreverence and swaggering machismo. Over the span of what must be a five minute plus scene, Henry hacks up phlegm, pretends to choke himself with his microphone cord, prances across the stage with his bathrobe flapping about, simulates being shot, sprinkles many a misanthropic, charmless monologues in between, and ends by throwing off his robe and mooning the audience before he leaves the stage. (Yes, you see Adam’s ass within the film’s first twenty minutes, and we’re just warming up from there.) His one-man performances demonstrate his egocentrism, penchant for lowbrow and often offensive humor, and the fact that this character has thus far profited from indulging in and acting out his base vulgarities.

While never demonstrating any abundance of good taste, his shows teeter firmly towards the grotesque and unsanctionable as his marriage and mental health deteriorate. This is what I’m referring to when I described the film as a study in discomfiture. As he deteriorates, the later iterations of his stand-up show become utterly unsettling and at times revolting. The film could show mercy and stop at one to two minutes of his more deranged antics, but instead subjects you to a protracted display of just how insane this man might possibly be. In Adam’s hands, these excessive, indulgent performance scenes take on disturbing but intriguing ambiguity, as you again wonder where the performance ends and the real man begins. When Henry confesses to a crime during his show and launces into an elaborate, passionate reenactment on stage, you shift uncomfortably in your seat wondering how much of it might just be true. Wondering just how much of an animal this man truly is.

Watching this film as an Adam fan, these scenes are unparalleled displays of his range and prowess. He’s in turns amusing and revolting; intolerable and pathetic; but always, always riveting. I couldn’t help thinking to myself that for the casual, non Adam-obsessed viewer, the effect of these scenes might stop at crass and unappealing. But in terms of the sheer range and power of acting on display? These scenes are a damn marvel. Through these scenes alone, his performance largely imbues the film with its wild, primal, and vaguely menacing atmosphere.

His stand-up scenes were, to me, some of the most intense of the film – sometimes downright difficult to endure. But they’re only a microcosm of the R A N G E he exhibits throughout the film’s entirety. Let’s talk about how he’s animalistic, menacing, and genuinely unsettling to watch (Leos Carax described him as “feline” at some point, and I 100% see it); and then with a mere subtle twitch of his expression, sheen of his eyes, or slump of his shoulders, he’s suddenly a lost, broken thing.  

Henry McHenry is truly to be reviled. Twitter might as well spare their breath and announce he’s already cancelled. He towers above the rest of the cast with intimidating, predatory physicality; he is prone to indulgence in his vices; and he constantly seems at risk of releasing some wild, uncontrollable madness lingering just beneath his surface. But as we all well know, Adam has an unerring talent for lending pathos to even the most objectively condemnable characters.

In a repeated refrain during his first comedy show, the audience keeps asking him, “Why did you become a comedian?” He dodges the question or gives sarcastic answers, until finally circling back to the true answer later in the film. It was something to the effect of: “To disarm people. It’s the only way I can tell the truth without it killing me.” Even for all their sick spectacle, there are also moments in his stand-up shows of disarming vulnerability and (seeming) honesty. In a similar moment of personal exposition, he confesses his temptation and “sympathy for the abyss.” (This phrase is hands down my favorite of the film.) He repeatedly refers to his struggle against “the abyss” and, at the same time, his perceived helplessness against it. “There’s so little I can do, there’s so little I can do,” he sings repeatedly throughout the film - usually just after doing something horrific.

Had he been played by anyone else, the first full look of him warming up before his show - hopping in place and punching the air like some wannabe boxer, interspersing puffs of his cigarette with chowing down on a banana – would have been enough for me to swear him off. His archetype is something of a cliché at this point – a brusque, boorish man who can’t stomach or preserve the love of others due to his own self-loathing. There were multiple points when it was only Adam’s face beneath the character that kept my heart cracked open to him. But sure enough, he wedged his fingers into that tiny crack and pried it wide open. The film’s final few scenes show him at his chin-wobbling best as he crumbles apart in small, mournful subtleties.

(General, semi-spoiler ahead as to the tone of the film’s ending – skip this paragraph if you’d rather avoid.) For a film that professes not to take itself very seriously (how else am I supposed to interpret the freaky puppet baby?), it delivers a harsh, unforgiving ending to its main character. And sure enough, despite how much I might have wanted to distance myself and believe it was only what he deserved, I found myself right there with him, sharing his pain. It is solely testament to Adam’s tireless dedication to breathing both gritty realism and stubborn beauty into his characters that Henry sank a hook into some piece of my sympathy.

Not only does Adam have to be the only actor capable of imbuing Henry with humanity despite his manifold wrongs, he also has to be the only actor capable of the wide-ranging transformations demanded of the role. He starts the movie with long hair and his full refrigerator brick house physique. His physicality and size are actively leveraged to engender a sense of disquiet and unpredictability through his presence. He appears in turns tormented and tormentor. There were moments when I found myself thinking of Conan the Barbarian, simply because his physical presence radiates such wild, primal energy (especially next to tiny, dainty Marion and especially with that long hair). Cannot emphasize enough: The raw sex appeal is off the goddamn charts and had me – a veteran fangirl of 3+ years - shook to my damn core.

The film’s progression then ages him – his hair cut shorter and his face and physique gradually becoming more gaunt. By the film’s end, he has facial prosthetics to make him seem even more stark and borderline sickly – a mirror of his growing internal torment. From a muscular, swaggering powerhouse, he pales and shrinks to a shell of a man, unraveling as his face becomes nearly deformed by time and guilt. He is in turns beautiful and grotesque; sensual and repulsive. I know of no other actor whose face (and its accompanying capacity for expressiveness) could lend itself to such stunning versatility.

Quick note here that he was given a reddish-brown birthmark on the right side of his face for this film?? It becomes more prominent once his hair is shorter in the film’s second half. I’m guessing it was Leos’ idea to make his face even more distinctive and riveting? If so, joke’s on you, Mr. Carax, because we’re always riveted. ☺

I mentioned way up at the beginning that the film is bookended by two scenes where the lines blur between actor and character, and between reality and performance. This comes full circle at the film’s end, with Henry’s final spoken words (this doesn’t give any plot away but skip to the next paragraph if you would rather avoid!) being “Stop watching me.” That’s it. The show is over. He has told his last joke, played out his final act, and now he’s done living his life as a source of cheap, unprincipled laughs and thrills for spectators. The curtain closes with a resounding silence.

Now, I definitely won’t have a section where I talk (of course) about the Ben Solo parallels. He’s haunted by an “abyss” aka darkness inside of him? Bad things happened when he finally gave in and stared into that darkness he knew lived within him? As a result of those tragedies, (SPOILER – Skip to next paragraph to avoid) he then finds himself alone and with no one to love or be loved by? NO I’M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, I’M JUST FINE HERE UNDER MY MOUNTAINS OF TISSUES.

Let’s talk about the music! The film definitely clocks in closer to a rock opera than musical, because almost the entire thing is conveyed through ongoing song, rather than self-contained musical numbers appearing here and there. This actually helps the film’s continuity and pacing, by keeping the characters perpetually in this suspended state of absurdity, always propelled along by some beat or melody. Whenever the film seems on the precipice of tipping all the way into the bleak and dark, the next whimsical tune kicks in to reel us all blessedly back. For example, after (SPOILER #1) happens, there’s a hard cut to the bright police station where several officers gather around Henry, bopping about and chattering on the beat “Questions! We have a few questions!”

Adam integrates his singing into his performance in such a way that it seems organic. I realized after the film that I never consciously considered the quality of his singing along the way. For all that I talked about the film maintaining the atmosphere of a fourth wall-defying performance piece, Adam’s singing is so fully immersed in the embodiment of his character that you almost forget he’s singing. Rather, this is simply how Henry McHenry exists. His stand-up scenes are the only ones in the film that do frequently transition back and forth between speaking and singing, but it’s seamlessly par for the course in Henry’s bizarre, dour show. He breaks into his standard “Now laugh!” number with uninterrupted sarcasm and contempt. There were certainly a few soft, poignant moments when his voice warbled in a tender vibrato you couldn’t help noticing – but otherwise, the singing was simply an extension of that full-body persona he manages to convey with such apparent ease and naturalism.

On the music itself: I’ll admit that the brief clip of “We Love Each Other So Much” we got a few weeks ago made me a tad nervous. It seemed so cheesy and ridiculous? But okay, you really can’t take anything from this movie out of context. Otherwise it is, indeed, utterly ridiculous. Not that none of it is ever ridiculous in context either, but I’m giving you assurances right now that it WORKS. Once you’re in the flow of constant singing and weirdness abound, the songs sweep you right along. Some of the songs lack a distinctive hook or melody and are moreso rhythmic vehicles for storytelling, but it’s now a day later and I still have three of the songs circulating pleasantly in my head. “We Love Each Other So Much” was actually the stand out for me and is now my favorite of the soundtrack. It’s reprised a few times later in the film, growing increasingly melancholy each time it is echoed, and it hits your heart a bit harder each time. The final song sung during (SPOILER #2), though without a distinctive melody to lodge in my head, undoubtedly left me far more moved than a spoken version of this scene would have. Adam’s singing is so painfully desperate and earnest here, and he takes the medium fully under his command.

Finally, it does have to be said that parts of this film veer fully towards the ridiculous and laughable. The initial baby version of the Annette puppet-doll was nothing short of horrifying to me. Annette gets more center-stage screen time in the film’s second half, which gives itself over to a few special effects sequences which look to be flying out at you straight from 2000 Windows Movie Maker. The scariest part is that it all seems intentional. The quality special effects appear when necessary (along with some unusual and captivating time lapse shots), which means the film’s most outrageous moments are fully in line with its guiding spirit. Its extravagant self-indulgence nearly borders on camp.

...And with that, I’ve covered the majority of the frantic notes I took for further reflection immediately after viewing. It’s now been a few days, and I’m looking forward to rewatching this movie when I can hopefully take it in a bit more fully. This time, I won’t just be struggling to keep up with the madness on screen. My concluding thoughts at this point: Is it my favorite Adam movie? Certainly not. Is it the most unforgettable? Aside from my holy text, The Last Jedi, likely yes. It really is the sort of thing you have to see twice to even believe it. And all in all, I say again that Adam truly carried this movie, and he fully inhabits even its highest, most ludicrous aspirations. He’s downright abhorrent in this film, and that’s exactly what makes him such a fucking legend.

I plan to make a separate post in the coming days about my experience at Cannes and the Annette red carpet, since a few people have asked! I can’t even express how damn good it feels to be globetrotting for Adam-related experiences again. <3

Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to ask me any further questions at all here or on Twitter! :)

*SYNOPSIS INCLUDED BELOW. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF AVOIDING SPOILERS!*

Synopsis: Comedian Henry McHenry and opera singer Ann Defrasnoux are both at the pinnacle of their respective success when they fall in love and marry. The marriage is happy and passionate for a time, leading to the birth of their (puppet) daughter, Annette. But tabloids and much of the world believe the crude, brutish Henry is a poor match for refined, idolized Ann. Ann and Henry themselves both begin to feel that something is amiss – Henry gradually losing his touch for his comedy craft, claiming that being in love is making him ill. He repeatedly and sardonically references how Ann’s opera career involves her “singing and dying” every night, to the point that he sees visions of her “dead” body on the stage. Meanwhile, Ann has a nightmare of multiple women accusing Henry of abusive and violent behavior towards them, and she begins growing wary in his presence. (He never acts abusively towards her, unless you count that scene when he tickles her feet and licks her toes while she’s telling him to stop??? Yeah I know, WILD.)

The growing sense of unease, that they’re both teetering on the brink of disaster, culminates in the most deranged of Henry’s stand-up comedy performances, when he gives a vivid reenactment of killing his wife by “tickling her to death.” The performance is so maudlin and unsettling that you wonder whether he’s not making it up at all, and the audience strongly rebukes him. (This is the “What is your problem?!” scene with tiddies out. The full version includes Adam storming across the stage, furiously singing/yelling, “What the FUCK is your problem?!”) But when Henry arrives home that night, drunk and raucous, Ann and Annette are both unharmed.

The couple take a trip on their boat, bringing Annette with them. The boat gets caught in a storm, and Henry drunkenly insists that he and Ann waltz in the storm. She protests that it’s too dangerous and begs him to see sense. (SPOILER #1) The boat lurches when Henry spins her, and Ann falls overboard to her death. Henry rescues Annette from the sinking boat and rows them both to shore. He promptly falls unconscious, and a ghost of Ann appears, proclaiming her intention to haunt Henry through Annette. Annette (still a toddler at this point and yes, still a wooden puppet) then develops a miraculous gift for singing, and Henry decides to take her on tour with performances around the world. He enlists the help of his “conductor friend,” who had been Ann’s accompanist and secretly had an affair with her before she met Henry.

Henry slides further into drunken debauchery as the tour progresses, while the Conductor looks after Annette and the two grow close. Once the tour concludes, the Conductor suggests to Henry that Annette might be his own daughter – revealing his prior affair with Ann. Terrified by the idea of anyone finding out and the possibility of losing his daughter, Henry drowns the Conductor in the pool behind his and Ann’s house. Annette sees the whole thing happen from her bedroom window.

Henry plans one last show for Annette, to be held in a massive stadium at the equivalent of the Super Bowl. But when Annette takes the stage, she refuses to sing. Instead, she speaks and accuses Henry of murder. (“Daddy kills people,” are the actual words – not that that was creepy to hear as this puppet’s first spoken words or anything.)

Henry stands trial, during which he sees an apparition of Ann from when they first met. They sing their regret that they can’t return to the happiness they once shared, until the apparition is replaced by Ann’s vengeful spirit, who promises to haunt Henry in prison. After his sentencing (it’s not clear what the sentence was, but Henry definitely isn’t going free), Annette is brought to see him once in prison. Speaking fully for the first time, she declares she can’t forgive her parents for using her: Henry for exploiting her voice for profit and Ann for presumably using her to take vengeance on Henry. (Yes, this is why she was an inanimate doll moving on strings up to this point – there was some meaning in that strange, strange artistic choice. She was the puppet of her parents’ respective egotisms.) The puppet of Annette is abruptly replaced by a real girl in this scene, finally enabling two-sided interaction and a long-missed genuine connection between her and Henry, which made this quite the emotional catharsis. (SPOILER #2) It concludes with Annette still unwilling to forgive or forget what her parents have done, and swearing never to sing again. She says Henry now has “no one to love.” He appeals, “Can’t I love you, Annette?” She replies, “No, not really.” Henry embraces her one last time before a guard takes her away and Henry is left alone.

…..Yes, that is the end. It left me with major emotional whiplash, after the whole film up to this point kept pulling itself back from the total bleak and dark by starting up a new toe-tapping, mildly silly tune every few minutes. But this last scene instead ends on a brutal note of harsh, unforgiving silence.

BUT! Make sure you stick around through the credits, when you see the cast walking through a forest together. (This is counterpart to the film’s opening, when you see the cast walking through LA singing “So May We Start?” directly to the audience) Definitely pay attention to catch Adam chasing/playing with the little girl actress who plays Annette! That imparts a much nicer feeling to leave the theater with. :’)

[chokiipng]

when you feel like the world is crashing down on you : fushiguro megumi

Hina/n : i’ve been feeling pretty down, and megumi (and xiao from genshin impact) seems to be my only source of joy at this point, so let’s make ourselves feel better, yes?

characters: fushiguro megumi

contents: megumi helping you through one of you’re more depressing moods

warnings: feelings of depression & anxiety, teeth rotting megumi fluff

usually, when megumi came back from a mission, he would find you and complain about the task his annoying teacher gave him, which would then lead to the both of you sleeping soundly somewhere in your room. he found solace in the comforting silence, despite not always sleeping on your bed. he was too exhausted to move, so he took what he could get.

after a particularly troublesome mission, in which he met his brand new classmate and an overpowered demon king, he quickly made his way towards your room after his injuries were taken care of.

however, when he tried to welcome himself into your dorm, he found that the door was locked. that was the first sign. you never locked your door, knowing that he would visit frequently to spend time with the only person he could really tolerate, ignoring the possibility that gojo or one of the second years could just as likely barge in.

he rapped his knuckles against the door, “(y/n)? it’s me.”

when he only received silence as a response, he knocked again but with a little more force.

again, he didn’t get a response. pressing his ear against the door, he recognized the songs playing in the background as the ones on their collaborative playlist and noticed the faint sniffling almost drowned out by the music.

in a fit of concern, he picked up his key to her dorm from his room across from hers. “i’m going to come in, okay?” he carefully opened the door, finding his girlfriend lying on her side, softly singing the lyrics to the song in a broken voice,

he wasn’t familiar with affection, despite being in a relationship with her. but after knowing her for a few years, he realized that it was okay and that she really just needed him to be himself around her. she didn’t force him into anything, which he appreciated greatly. 

but it was at times like these where he willingly made himself more affectionate for her. of course, that really only meant cuddling with her in bed, but it seemed to be plenty.

taking his usual place behind her, assuming the role of big spoon, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her hair. his hands, rough and calloused from years of training as a jujutsu sorcerer and beating the shit out of middle school bullies, cradled her own that were surprisingly soft for a fellow sorcerer. 

his chest rumbled as he hummed with her, knowing the tune of the song well after hearing it so many times. finally snapping out of her trance, she blinked a bit before moving further into his embrace.

“did something happen today?” he asked softly, his voice low and gentle as to not scare her.

she shook her head, “no, it’s me overthinking again. it’s honestly nothing.”

“it’s not nothing if you’re crying about it. tell me what happened.”

she sighed, silence was useless. the two usually confronted each other in times of doubt and need, so nothing went unanswered. she pointed to  her phone on his side of the bed. briefly leaning over to grab it, he opened it, smiling at the sight of the two of them and his divine dogs as her homescreen. 

“check my messages,” she instructed.

he did so, furrowing his brows in confusion. everything was normal. he was her pinned conversation and her most recent, which wasn’t new. he also found that she had also recently texted gojo, their teacher, about souvenirs, principal yaga, and even nanami-san that she occasionally went on mission with. the second years were currently out on missions, so it made sense that she hadn’t messaged them in a while.

“what’s the problem?” he asked bluntly. he didn’t understand what was wrong and he knew she would clear his confusion.

grabbing his hands with her own, fiddling with them, she said, “it’s just- i think-” she struggled to find the words, “i think hina and aiko are ghosting me.”

“what?”

“megumi, they haven’t texted me in three months. before we graduated middle school, they promised that they would stay in touch. you knew how close we were.”

he hummed in agreement.

“i think i’m just annoying them at this point, they haven’t answered any of my texts, and if they do they’re really fucking dry, and ignore all my calls. they never did before! maybe i’m just being too clingy. i’m probably annoying them. no wonder, i even annoy myself sometimes.”

panicking slightly, you began to hyperventilate. spewing out words at the speed of light as you tried to calm yourself. turning you so that you were facing him, he held the back of your head and pushed you into his chest. listening to his heart beat, you slowly calmed down, attempting to match you breathing patterns with him. your tears fell freely, dampening his shirt.

he pet you head, running his long finger through your hair. he hushed you gently as you continued to cry silently into his chest there were no words needed at the moment. comfort wasn’t always found in positive words between the two of you. you both recognized that sugar coating your comfort would prove to be fruitless later, so you found that it was better to just remain silent.

after a few minutes, he began to speak again, “your crying so much that i can barely recognize you.” he jested.

you scoffed, “thanks, very comforting meg.”

he chuckled lowly, “it’s true. the (y/n) i know would never cry because of two measly humans. they wouldn’t care of they ignored them, you know why.”

 “why is that, meg?”

“because she knows that she has an annoying teacher, a bunch of powerful senpai, two new classmates,” he smiled slightly, “and a troublesome jerk of a boyfriend there for her. she has no need to worry about two girls when she has all of these people here for her.”

she laughed, causing his heart to swell at the sound. he continued, “why would a menace to society such as herself bother with two normies? the (y/n) i know smiles at curses demise, and as unsettling it is, it just shows how fearless she is. she would never be brought down by two regular girls who don’t realize what their missing out on.”

she laughed loudly at that, wrapping her arms around her torso with a large smile. it was also then that megumi realized that she was wearing one of his sweatshirts (which he now always buys with the intention of her wearing them). his heart practically burst as he realized she still found comfort in him despite him not being their physically earlier.

she smirked up at him as he did the same to her, “since when were you this comforting, fushiguro. usually all i get is a hug and a nap.”

he shrugged, facing the ceiling (an attempt to hide his reddening cheeks), “since i got a girlfriend who actually happens to like my hugs and a nap. i wanted to put in more effort to be better for her, y’see.”

“well, as the said girlfriend, i would like to say that i’m perfectly content with how my boyfriend is now. he tends to try an improve himself for me, but i think that he’s just lovely the way he is.”

“yeah well, my little menace to society deserves more than she realizes. so i will do everything in my power to make sure she realizes it.”

she hummed, her eyelids starting to droop, “this menace to society appreciates everything that her fellow menace does for her, including napping with her. which happens to sound incredibly tempting right now.”

“indeed.”

[milgrammer]

[ENG] Molech Voice Drama

Es: [footsteps]

Shido: Hm?

Es: Sorry to have kept you waiting. [footsteps] Prisoner number 5, Shido. 

Shido: No need to. Thank you for all your hard work, Es.

Es: Now then, Shido. Let’s begin the interrogation.

Shido: Very well. Please go ahead.

Es: [hesitates] Ok. Let’s see... Milgram exists to reveal the sins of you, prisoners, and to hand down the appropriate judgement. So, for that reason, talk to me for a bit. 

Shido: Understood. Please take good care of me from now on.

Es: [pauses] Even if this is referred to as an interrogation, at this moment in time, I don’t plan on using violence. In addition to that, any falsehood or silence from you will be acknowledged.

Shido: I see. I might refrain from voicing anything I don’t want to say, but I have no intention of lying to you.

Es: Shido, how’s life in Milgram? Do you have any complaints about its environment? Or have any issues arisen from the other prisoners, etc?

Shido: No particular inadequacies really come to mind. And, my fellow prisoners haven't particularly caused any issues either. Es, I wonder if this is the fruit of all the governing you do? It’s remarkable.

Es: Not really. [hesitates] Hold on a second, Shido. 

Shido: Yes? What is it?

Es: This is… I know it’s me who’s getting things mixed up here, but…  In comparison to all the interrogations thus far, this one has been progressing far too smoothly; it feels somewhat unsettling. 

Shido: I’m not sure what to say to that... 

Es: Hm. [footsteps] Shido, do you seriously not have any reservations about Milgram? 

Shido: Well, let’s see. I mean, without a doubt, it’s clearly a strange place. Its architectural style and the written script it uses are things I’ve never seen before either. If you were to say I was having a dream or a vision, then that would make more sense to me. 

Es: Hm.

Shido: But, all things considered, I’m still very much conscious. My pulse rate is within its normal range. And, I can’t find any symptoms to suggest that I’m hallucinating either. So, I don't exactly find that idea to be very convincing.

Es: Oh?

Shido: Other than that... If this is the afterlife, then this place must be hell. But, if I set that idea aside, then… This is just real life. I, myself, am in normal condition; it’s where I am which is unusual. I may not know the reason behind this place or how it works, but even if I tried to escape from the reality of it, nothing would really change, right?

Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you? 

Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it��this place, I mean. 

Es: You mean, Milgram?

Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death. 

Es: What?

Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right? 

Es: Yeah. That’s right.

Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance. 

Es: I won’t have that. The lot of you can’t decide what your own treatment will be. Only I as the prison guard have the authority to do so.

Shido: Exactly. You as the prison guard have the right to do such a thing, Es, so that’s why I’m asking you for this favour. 

Es: [scratches head, sighs] In regards to your sin, what I’ve gathered so far is that you both regret and have already reflected on your actions. On top of that, you’re also seeking to receive the maximum penalty we have to offer. So, let’s use that information. The idea that I’ll be taking your behaviour into consideration is nothing more than a mere presumption.

Shido: [hesitates]

Es: And, of course, I haven’t thrown away the possibility that you’re only doing this to get on my good side either.

Shido: Hm. I honestly have no idea what you and Milgram are setting out to achieve. You mentioned something about extracting songs and videos from our hearts, and then using them to judge our sins, didn’t you?

Es: Yeah. And, what of it?

Shido: There’s no need for you to go through such a cumbersome process. If you want to hand down the correct punishment for me, then all you have to do is put an end to my life and it'll be over in a blink of an eye.

Es: You’re being annoyingly persistent, Shido! Know your place here. 

Shido: Please listen to me, Es. I’ve killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I’m a fine specimen of what a genuine murderer ought to be. [footsteps] There’s no reason for you to forgive me. And, I don’t have the desire to be forgiven either.

Es: I really don’t...get you.

Shido: If you don’t put me to death, then neither the people I’ve killed nor their families will be at peace. Don’t you think so too?    

Es: As if that’s my business. I haven’t necessarily sided with your victims and I’m not a family member of theirs either.

Shido: [sighs]

Es: [sighs] Anyway, the only thing I’ll be deciding on is whether or not I forgive you. I don’t even know the details of what punishment will follow after that. 

Shido: Is that so? Es, I suppose you were left in the dark about many things as well just like the rest of us. 

Es: Knowing what happens to the lot of you afterwards might prevent me from making a straightforward decision about whether I should forgive you or not. So, it’s to avoid that from happening. Were you aware of that? 

Shido: Hm… But, this place does smell of the dead though. I’m sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram.

Es: Smell of the dead? 

Shido: Yes. I can somewhat recognise it from experience… A place which is filled with the smell of the dead, that is. 

Es: Is...that so? Well, either way, Milgram is a three-trial system. It lets me take my time to decide on whether or not I should forgive you. Even if you wish for the opposite, if I decide that you should be forgiven, then it’ll do just that without any hesitation. 

Shido: A three-trial system, right? It’ll take far too long, don’t you think? I’d rather this all be over as soon as possible.

Es: Like I care about what’s convenient for you. Don’t complain about the rules.

Shido: So, if it’s a three-trial system… Then, for example, if you absolutely can’t find it within yourself to forgive me and I don’t lodge an appeal in response, will my treatment be decided on the spot?

Es: That’s the three-trial system according to Japanese law. Milgram’s one is different from that. For the time being, you really should throw away what would be considered common sense there. I mean, if we’re gonna bring up Japan… Due to the abolition of the Prison law, this sort of prison shouldn’t even exist in the first place. (1)

Shido: Wow… 

Es: What is it? You’re going all wide-eyed. 

Shido: Ah, well… I was just thinking about how despite being a child, you’ve really done your research on this.

Es: Hey. [footsteps] You trying to make fun of me, is that it? 

Shido: What? Oh, no. I wasn’t trying to do anything like that.

Es: You were. Something’s been on my mind ever since the very beginning… “Es, this. Es, that.” It’s the belittling way you refer to me…  I’m the prison guard, you know that?

Shido: Oh, I’m completely aware of that. But, you’re still a child in actuality. Coming from me, who’s almost twice the age as you are, I just… 

Es: What is it?

Shido: For a child like you to be entrusted with this sort of role… My heart goes out to you. 

Es: Excuse me?

Shido: I don’t know what circumstances you face while guarding this prison nor the reason as to why you’re doing it, but I’m sure that it must take a toll on you emotionally as well. So, please do your best. [pats head]

Es: [is shook] I see. Oh, I see now. So, that’s how it is. So, that’s how it’s gonna be. [deep breaths]

Shido: Hm? Es?

Es: Don’t you dare… pat my head like that! [kicks]

Shido: [grunts] Please hold on for a second.

Es: Phew, I feel so much better now.

Shido: S-suddenly kicking my shin like that…wasn’t very nice of you.

Es: Shut up! Out of all the prisoners thus far, you’re the one I can’t stand the most. Going all pessimistic like that, running your mouth as if you knew everything, acting as if you’re oh-so mature, and never budging from that composed expression of yours—the nerve of you! On top of that, you even went so far as to pat my head. Do you think I’m your child? Do you?! Don’t fuck with me!

Shido: Didn’t you say that you wouldn’t use violence?

Es: It’s on a case-by-case basis.

Shido: What a thing to say.

Es: Hey, Shido. What the hell do you mean by "I want to die"? Don’t you dare try to insult me with that. Plead for your life with every fibre of your being! Our instinctive desire to stay alive is the very reason why punishments for our sins exist. To Milgram and to me, your very existence is sacrilegious! 

Shido: Es… 

Es: If your shin gets kicked, you’ll feel pain, won’t you? And if it hurts, you’ll cry out, won’t you? You’ll tear up, won’t you? 

Shido: Yeah… 

Es: Well, take that! Even if you boast about wanting to die, the pain you just felt is the exact same thing as your body screaming that it doesn’t want to. 

Shido: [pauses]

Es: While you’re still alive, you should be grabbing life with both hands! Don’t act as if you’re already dead. An adult like that has no right to treat me like a child. It makes my skin crawl. End of discussion!

Shido: I see… If I feel pain, then it’s proof that I want to live?

Es: Hmph!

Shido: [sighs] Well, with that being said, here’s my counterargument to it. It was the nociceptors in my shin which felt that pain. So, it's nothing more than a reaction caused by pain signals being transmitted to my spinal cord and then to my brain. That phenomenon is called nociceptive pain. 

Es: What?

Shido: What I’m saying is… Even if I do want to die, pain is something which will still involuntarily occur. And therefore, you, Es, were making a mistake in your claim.

Es: That's so immature of you. 

Shido: [laughs] It’s payback for kicking my shin like that. But, you know, I think it was an amazing mistake to have made. It was so radiant...to the point where it made me want to turn away. Just as I thought, you truly are a child…but that makes me incredibly happy.

Es: Shido… [mechanical noises] It’s time, huh.

Shido: So, this is what will be “extracting songs”? It sure is intriguing. I wonder what mine will be like. 

Es: Composed no matter what, aren’t you? Is there anything left you'd like to say? 

Shido: Oh, yeah. I don’t know about what the other prisoners may think about Milgram itself, but…  I fully agree with it.

Es: Sure seems that way.

Shido: I’m a fine specimen of what a murderer ought to be. I don’t mind when you hand down your judgement, but if it's possible… Instead of being told by the law that I won’t be forgiven, I wanted a child like you, Es, to tell me that.

Es: What?

Shido: I feel sorry that you had to be given this role. And, I truly apologise for being so insistent about sentencing me to death as well…  But, you’re perfect. You’ll give me the ending I’m most suited for. 

Es: [hesitates] Y-you… What’re you saying? A special request like that is so...

Shido: [laughs] Well, I wonder. I'm just trying to get you to punish me as of now. 

Es: [hesitates] 

Shido: I look forward to you handing down the correct judgment.

Es: You’re making a false presumption there. It’s the fact that it’s my judgment which makes it correct! That’s what Milgram is.

Shido: Then, I look forward to what you deem to be ‘correct’.

Es: Hmph. Say whatever you want.

Shido: Please make sure you don’t forgive me. Okay, Es?

Es: [scoffs] Don’t make me say it over and over again! I don’t give a shit about what you’re hoping for. Prisoner number 5, Shido. Come now. Sing your sins!

「監獄」 [kangoku] were essentially comprised of 「刑務所」 (for those people serving a sentence) and 「拘置所」 (for suspects, those who were awaiting a sentence or those on death row).  They operated under 「監獄法」 (the Prison Law). However, due to abolition of the Prison Law in 2007, those facilities are no longer called 「監獄」, but are now referred to as 「刑事施設」.