#HAVING A WORM RAVE OR SOME SHIT

[kingkenji]

my head hurts but it's probs because im the prettiest pretty boy thats ever prettied

[weebsinstash]

As much as I strongly dislike when a series kind of "cages" the self insert/OC potential of its audience, it's becoming pretty clear that there's a certain level of pre-determined-ness to Sinners and their appearances, almost to the point it's vaguely implied entire sections of Pentagram City are like, ethnically/visually distinct and that every character we see fits into some sort of category and resembles other people. There's an Overlord who's a giant raptor dinosaur and there are other dinosaur Sinners (and also she's like the club/rave based overlord and even has a business, Klub Kaiju, interesting). Valentino is a moth and there are other moths and different bugs like spiders. In the most recent episode showing flashbacks of Hell in Alastor's past, there was a past female Overlord who had the same multi-toned angular swirling hair as Velvette does. In Vox's studio in episode two, he has members of staff that are visually similar to his own aesthetic. Even up in Heaven, Angel's sister Molly still has her spider aesthetic with a halo and cherub wings

so, i guess, to go where I'm ACTUALLY going with this post.... Moth Reader who winds up catching Valentino's eyes because "oh wow we're both moths, isn't that cute" and it escalates into him seeing you as his property, ESPECIALLY if you also have weird drugging/pheromone powers like him

Like can you imagine it? You smack down into the city while he's like having lunch at a cafe or his limo is parked at a light and you're standing up all confused and helpless and cute, hugging yourself as you look around this loud violent scary new place, and you two wind up making exact eye contact and he can tell you're crying and scared, easy prey. Could you picture Reader's equivalent of his coat being that you're in a little hoodie or jacket or shawl and it just unwraps while you're sitting with him. Idk. You accidentally inhale some of his smoke and just give a cute little sneeze and your antenna and your wings are all just poofing out, you basically just equipped that shit from your inventory. On the fence if Reader would have chest fur but maybe your hair hair is really big and long and silky

Moth Reader having eye spots on their wings that can lull someone into hypnosis, or you have some sort of pheromone that makes people weak to your demands, maybe even horny for you, like some mind controlling queen bee ordering her drones. Val's in the bathroom and some creep grabs you and all of a sudden your antenna twitch and his face gets hit with a little puff of 'dust' and suddenly he's letting go of you, "oh my gosh sweetie I am so sorry, here, take all the money in my wallet, you deserve it, I'm so sorry queen, I'm gonna go jump into traffic, sorry queen, sorry, sorry, im a worm, sorry, sorry"

Valentino having unique reactions to your "pollen" as another moth or at least an addict with a tolerance. He buries his face in your neck so you "poof" him on purpose and he's just hotboxing your scent and getting high and horny while you're struggling and squealing. He forces you to use your powers on him and others so they can feel happy and high. At some point he may even force you to keep producing the powder so he can sell it as a drug or a product and at that point you're BIG INCOME for him, he might as well carry you around like his personal vape pen

Like. Can you even imagine "oh yeah Im super lucky enough that i have these powers to protect myself and potentially manipulate others" and you think you're safe and untouchable and this man is like using his fucking credit card to shift your powder into lines to snort it like a rail of cocaine. You can turn "normal" Sinners into your helpless pawns but it loses effectiveness the stronger the person is and this man is like HOTBOXING your shit, all but passing out on the couch with you in his arms in pure drug seeking unrestrained bliss. And then he fucks ya cause I mean, it's YOUR fault he's all hot and bothered now isn't it?

Just Reader not even knowing how much danger they're in because you just got here and have no idea who this guy is and you're just spinning around looking at your new appearance and flapping your little wings and maybe you can even float or fly a little bit, all happy, big big smiles, being all "oh my gosh this is so cool, I feel so cute ^^" and you don't even realize you're practically modeling yourself on a runway to one very, VERY interested customer...

[n33dlew0rk]

I cyclically go back to some of my old favourites bc I'm a proud ✨music slut✨ and I was thinking about Roy Khan when he joined Kamelot. Like, the kinda uncharacteristic voice timbre for the genre and the short hair made me think of Steve.

And I don't necessarily headcanon Eddie Munson as a metal elitist, but for the sake of this little worm, let's say he absolutely is one. The nasty type, even.

So wouldn't it be hella funny if mid-thirties lead guitarist of average famous trash metal band Corroded Coffin Eddie'd find himself at a festival and suddenly smitten with power metal vocalist Steve Harrington?

Ok so, stay with me:

Eddie and the Corroded Coffin boys play some big festival in the early 2000s, not as headliners (I honestly can't see CC as that big, sorry), but still like on one of the late afternoon / early night slots. A plan they're pretty big fans of, it means they have a substantial crowd of fans and casual festival-goers listening to them, but they can get pretty buzzed and relaxed to enjoy the bigger names playing later afterwards. And they're all still in their mid-thirties so yk their lower backs hurt, sure, but they can still be menaces in the pit if they're motivated enough.

They do just that for a while, then around dinner time, someone's girlfriend (I'd like to think Jeff's bc I can totally see him not caring about genres at all) begs to go see this band she likes at one of the smaller stages. She's telling them that they just changed vocalist and this guy had to prove himself to the band by skydiving with them and that's so cool and she really wants to see them live please please please.

Eddie is not convinced, the name of the band doesn't sound familiar, but it's clearly fantasy inspired, and that leaves him with this nagging feeling that they'll end up to some obnoxiously cheesy act. He tries to divert the attention from himself and actually go eat something.

Manager and bff extraordinaire Chrissy Cunningham won't have it though, always careful with partners, family and significant others because she knows how the industry can turns artists into assholes. So she shoves all the boys towards the smaller stage, smiling wide and supportive of the girl who wanted to go there.

And wouldn't you look at that: the act IS, in fact, obnoxious and cheesy. The band has back up vocals that look more like a fucking choir. They have a keyboard that could probably replicate an entire orchestra, which means these guys are symphonic. Eddie shudders at the thought alone.

By no means the band has a big production, but they still have drape-like thingies stage-sides and candles and shit. A quick glance to the crowd has Eddie taking in so many men in leather pants and flowy-fucking-harmony-book-illustration-cover-vaguely-medieval shirts that will hunt him for a lifetime of nightmares.

Eddie groans as the band enters the stage and start playing right away. And yeah, there's no denying it anymore, it's clearly a power metal act- yep there it comes, the chirpy melodic riff and oh, oh yeah, melancholic keys and heartbreaking choir intro just joined the party. Eddie is actively glaring at Chrissy, but she just smiles and pats his back, shrugging apologetic.

And then.

AND THEN.

And then Eddie's future husband appears up there, in a puff of poorly distributed fake smoke, a too tight short sleeved black shirt, fairly normal black jeans with just a few straps on his juicy thighs, short and messy light brown hair and the sweetest boy-next-door smile.

This dorky motherfucker even dares to do a little bow to the audience.

This piece of cake with no tattoos whatsoever in sight and the attire of a very mild occasional I sometimes go to raves while vacationing in Ibiza because I have a very stable and probably boring white collar job and I need to decompress.

This absolute luscious chest forest bearer of a man struts to the barricade and starts singing with a tone so warm that it soothes half of Eddie's lifelong trauma and a lung capacity that could send at least two big tobacco companies bankrupt.

And for a minute there (or five, or ten, or whatever) Eddie kinda forgets why it was ever cringe to sing of doomed love, eternal devotion and, fucking, roses and flowers and passionate nights full of stars and promises and-

"Backstage pass" he starts shaking Chrissy's arm not taking his eyes off the charming vocalist.

Chrissy doesn't hear him right away, so she just cocks an eyebrow in a silent question, but Eddie keeps on staring at the stage like a man possessed and shouts louder "Get. Me. A. Backstage. Pass" and point a finger at Steve singing his heart out.

Chrissy snickers, not particularly surprised, and stands on her tip-toes to take Eddie's face in her hands, turning him to face her.

"Babes, you are an artist that performed at this festival", she lowers a hand to grab and wave in front of his eyes the artist pass attached at Eddie's neck.

It takes a few beats for him to gather enough brain power to understand, but as soon a as he does, he's dodging people left and right with a streak of mumbled "sorry man"s alternated with some more urgent "kindly fuck off"s to reach the front and find the nearest staff entry to flaunt his newly rediscovered access guarantee.

-

After the encore, an absolutely delicious sweat drenched Steve exists stage left and bumps directly in a very much stunned Eddie Munson with hearts in his eyes.

Steve mumbles a distracted "sorry" and starts walking around him to follow his bandmates to the green room when Eddie reaches for his wrist and nearly shouts "WAIT".

Steve turns around again, looks at his own wrist wrapped in pretty ringed long fingers, then focuses on the owner of said fingers. "Uh, yeah?"

Eddie's watching him like he's the Eighth World's Wonder and promptly answers with "Hi, my name is marry me, will you Eddie Munson?".

In the time it takes Steve to blink a few times and lightly blush before bursting out a genuine laugh, he realises two thing: one, the man in front of him (and still holding his wrist) is Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin and he his quite frankly hot; two, Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin spent a good five minutes of his own band's set earlier that night to climb on a tall amp and proceed with a ridiculous tirade against "all the melodic sappy panty twisting crap that's tainting true metal".

So Steve slowly cocks his head, still smiling big, gently pats his free hand on Eddie's cheek and smugly tells him "nah, wouldn't want to taint your", he tries to lower his voice to make it sound tougher, while vaguely gesturing towards him "true metal, hot stuff". He also winks at him, for good measure.

Eddie once again takes a moment to recover and totally bypasses Steve's dig blurting out a "you watched our set???", ears reddening at the tips, face shocked and mouth open.

Steve finally manages to free his hostage wrist and gives Eddie an incredulous, hopeless once over, starts laughing again and walks backstage, shaking his head.

When he notices Eddie's not following him (still stunned, not offended, to be clear) e looks over his shoulders "are you coming or not?".

Eddie unfreezes then and sprints to join him.

-

Eddie will proceed to follow Steve around for the remainder of the festival, walking on his knees and begging pretty please for a chance to explain the he actually meant other melodic sappy panty twisting crap, not Steve's.

-

The next Corroded Coffin album is kind of experimental, features Steve's vocals on one track, pisses off metal elitists worldwide and gains CC a headliner spot in the next festival line-up.

[marchsfreakshow]

Dinner Blues [Warren Lipka]

Angst / fluff ending because duh

Warren promised dinner. Because you set it up. So, where was he come day of your planned dinner together?

Ooooooo yeah. Angst. I love this idea, and I consistently have Warren brainrot I'm so sorry I'll never shut up about him.

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

It had been a year.

You never thought it was possible. In your head, Warren would get bored a month or two in then leave. He was never a committal type of guy, even when the two of you were just friends. You'd see him go through hookups and month-long relationships like it was no one's business. Maybe he'd stay single for a few months after one person, but one day, boom. Another hazy girl hanging off his arm purely because she complimented Warren's hair and his eyes.

That just made it all the more surprising when you made Warren celebrate 3 months with you. Then 6. Then 10. Now 12. Even more surprising to Spencer as well, he'd never seen his friend become so, whipped for someone before. Warren's eyes never strayed at parties. He was always touching you in some way at those parties, keeping you close to him. His hand staying on your hip as you walked around, drunkenly rambling to whoever about your current favourite movie or TV show. Everyone around you was surprised at it in some way.

A few days before today, you made silent plans for dinner. What you were going to cook, how long, and what else the rest of the day was going to look like. It was gonna be perfect, and you were 100% sure Warren would be up for it. He's always been up for that before, why would it change today?

But...he let the phone ring. He didn't answer you. Warren always answered you. No matter what time you called, he would be right there at your front door with weed and snacks. Instead, you figured Spencer would know where Warren was. As soon as you pressed call on Spencer's number, someone picked up. "Heyy sunshine..."

"Warren. What the fuck...w-where are you? Why didn't you answer me on your phone? Why didn't you come over if your phone was broken or something? That's what you always do." Your voice was a mix of frustration and sadness, that much was obvious.

"Okay..so..listen.." Warren started, his voice slightly slurred. Great, he was drunk...how wonderful! "I kinda just...got busy."

"With?" You never doubted your relationship with Warren, at least, not until now. In the back of your head, you just had a nagging that he just stole Spencer's phone, and wasn't even with him anymore. There was no raving music in the background, no people shouting or screaming. No footsteps bouncing. So he wasn't anywhere where a party was. Maybe he was on his own.

"Spencer."

Figured. "Figured."

Warren hung on silence. An excruciating silence. It got worse with every second that passed; like a ticking time bomb. "Warren.."

"ssshhhh! Listen! Okay... okay..so like, Spencer knows more romantic shit than me. Right?" He hung on a few seconds of silence again. "Rriiiggghhhtt?"

"...right?"

"I went over. Asked him for help. He's bullshit at that by the way I'm never asking for his help again." Despite how upset and annoyed you currently felt, you couldn't stop a little chuckle from leaving your lips. "...pretty little laugh." The stoner remarked quietly, smiling to himself as he heard your chuckle through the phone.

"Bet you got that small smile on ya face huh sunshine?" He tried to coax his way out of the hard conversation, not like it would work though. Not fully.

"Warren." You stated, your voice firm, attempting to not betray yourself of the anger. "Come on...carry on. What else?"

He sighed deeply, now figuring he couldn't worm his way out of this one with charm. "Okay, so basically...basically...I continued to ask as we just drunk. Then, I sorta..just..forgot."

"not the first time you've forgotten."

And he suddenly hung up. He..hung up. That'd never happened before. The whiplash whipped the breath out of your lungs for a moment, eyes suddenly wide. Tears made your vision blurry, and glossy. Mouth agape slightly. Suddenly your chest hurt..like your heart psychically broke at the sound. Like the phenomenon of someone dying from a broken heart. You knew Warren wouldn't turn up at your doorstep. He wasn't that type of person. He never would be.

The ingredients laid out on your kitchen counter suddenly seemed uninteresting. They seemed like the least fun things in the world. Your empty house seemed a lot more empty and silent. The phone in your hand vibrated occasionally with a message, but you couldn't find the right motivation to check it. Instead, you placed your phone down on your bedside table and went out silently.

No music in your earphones, no phone in your pocket. It felt cliché, and it was not lost on you as you walked around aimlessly. You certainly didn't need to walk somewhere specific. Thoughts were passing by nonchalantly. The walk went on for an hour, you probably circled a few streets over and over. But, you just stopped for a moment, staring at the ground and taking another deep sigh. "Sunshinee.." a voice crept up on you, arms wrapping over your shoulders, bringing you close to his chest. Warren pressed kisses to your cheek, smiling cheesily. Like nothing had ever happened. "Why'd you go somewhere without telling me huh? Visited your place but you weren't there..."

"...Because I did." You sighed, barely hugging Warren back. "You disappointed me Warren. Today was supposed to be a nice day. I haven't seen you all day."

Warren's heart felt like it dropped in his chest at your words. Your own heartbreak was obvious. "No..nononono baby listen to me.." Your eyes avoided his eyes. His sudden worry, scared look. It made your heartbreak worse. Another blink, and another load of tears brimming your eyes. Warren stuttered out his answer quietly, holding onto your shoulders a bit too tightly. "I. I just...I really did forget. I want... wanted to make you happy today. I promise I did! Y-you know I love you.."

Beat of silence between you, as you both took in his words. Warren looked slightly surprised that he said those words too. Like his brain didn't connect with his mouth. It hung in the air for a few minutes. Unblinking stares. Neither of you wanted to say anything for a moment, just making sure you heard him correctly the first time. "You love me?"

"I love you." His response was quick. Like he couldn't help himself.

"if you love me why did you leave me alone on the most important day in our lives?"

The excruciating quiet came back. Warren didn't know what to say, or how to say what was on his mind. The ambience of cars going past and people talking about their own lives and worries. "C-c'mon now sweet...I..you know..I just.." Your lack of response spoke a lot to Warren. "...f-fine! Fine! Jesus..okay..look! I'm sorry okay? I'm really fuckin sorry."

A deep, shaky sigh left you as a response, and your words were left. "Just..just come on. L-lemme drive you home. Please. Please sweet..y-ya don't have to say anything." Warren immediately took your hand, trying to lead you to the car. The more he spoke, the worse you felt. Wait. Why should you feel bad? He's the one who skipped out on your anniversary. You sat down in the passenger seat, a musk of weed and general cigarette stink in the car. His hand on your thigh felt uncomfortably familiar.

As the car started, you finally found something to say. "... where's your phone?" He held his phone up from the middle section. Of fucking course. "Jesus Warren.."

"I didn't realise it was there until I got in my car earlier."

You sighed deeply, used to this type of bullshit now, but today it felt worse. The town ran past you, full of dim lights and passing cars. You never felt an awkward silence between the two of you before. What on earth were going to do? The drive went as slowly as it felt like it was. Warren hesitated to rest his hand on your thigh, but did so anyway, the cold palm against your skin making the drive a bit more bearable. He occasionally looked over at you, feeling the guilt wring up more in his heart. Why did you have to be so beautiful when you were upset? Puffy eyes, red cheeks. Being lit and unlit by the street lamps that you drove past together. "You really are a pretty thing.."

You looked over to Warren, giving him a little smile. He's pretty sure he could watch you smile like that for hours on end. The drive was a bit eased now as Warren complimented you, finally making it to your place after what felt like hours. Watching your house for a second, Warren grabbed your hand, subconsciously playing with your fingers. "Sweet.." He started, making you look over to him. Eyes met his, practically melting you despite the ache in your heart.

"...I do love you.."

You could almost see the relief and light come back in his eyes and a smile graced Warren's face. He immediately held your face, stroking your cheeks with a wide smile. "T-thank fuck...I love you..how can I make this shit up to you? Just tell me.."

A glance back to your place, and a little idea came to you. "just come inside..okay?" Once you got an okay from Warren, you stepped out of the car, immediately heading down to the front door. The stoner trailed behind you like some sort of pup, bound to be by your side 24/7. He held the door open, immediately took your shoes off for you and picked you up. Taking you up to your room, and throwing gently placing you down on your bed. Wrapping your blankets around you, not particularly choosing to listen to your no's between small giggles.

"Alright. You're in bed. Tight." He grinned, smiling down at you from slightly straddling you. With a little grin, Warren leaned down, kissing your face, not giving you a moment to breathe. Eventually, though, he sat up, still grinning. "Okay. How about this? Weed, Scream, and Halloween?"

"...yeah that sounds good." You replied, slightly breathless but with a smile.

"Good. I love you."

"fuck... you're an idiot...I love you Warren.."

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @coentinim / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @marchsfreak / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @t8-ak47 / @lemoniiiiiii

[sleepingdeath-light]

when she’s moved on from chucky hcs ; tiffany valentine

requested by ; anonymous (posted on 14/07/23)

fandom(s) ; slashers / child’s play

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; tiffany valentine

outline ; “Ooh so could you do a Tiffany x gender neutral reader where at the scene when tiff had chucky in his cage, she mentions how she got over him and is now dating reader who Tiff just rabbles about them?

And please take your time on this I don’t wanna seem like one of the impatient readers so do your best!”

note ; this is a repost from a now deleted blog, so apologies if you’ve already read this lol

warning(s) ; allusions to sex, suggestive content

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

she hadn’t thought about her ex in a long time — mourning him for more than long enough when he’d initially passed away before making a point of trying to move on

she’d had plenty of flings over the years — tiffany was incredibly attractive so there was no shortage of men and women ready to hop in bed with her — but nobody ever stayed for long

not until you, that is

you, who was able to make her laugh without any effort

you, who didn’t judge her for her past and helped her take the steps she needed to fully detach herself from chucky

you, who kept a photo of her in your wallet/purse and who would proudly introduce her as your girlfriend to anyone you met

you, who watched all her favourite films with her and who would get wrapped up in the plot without complaining about them being ‘unrealistic’ or ‘silly’

you, who loved her for her mind and her humour and not just her body

you

just you

and yet despite all of that she still couldn’t seem to get away from charles for long because here he was, miraculously not dead and a hell of a lot shorter and more plastic-looking than she remembered

she’d seen his death reported on in the paper

she’d been going to therapy to talk about their relationship and how she was dealing with his loss

she’d moved on and was happy with you — even looking at wedding venues (even if you hadn’t been together very long, but when you know you know)

she’d done everything right and still he’d managed to come back into her life like nothing had happened

it made her angry

it made her sick

so she trapped him in a baby cage and went out for a smoke, ranting with the front door of her trailer open as she made some very pointed gestures and remarks to her ex

how dare he do this to her! how fucking dare he!

who the fuck did he think he was?

why couldn’t he just let her live her life in peace?

couldn’t he see that she was finally — fucking finally — happy after all of the shit he’d put her through?

the sheer audacity had her tonguing the inside of her cheek and reaching for her lighter — she didn’t have enough cigarettes to deal with his shit right now

frankly there weren’t enough cigarettes in the world at all to help her deal with his bullshit, but that was besides the point

she takes a drag from her second cig and now she’s stopped pacing — leaning on the doorframe and facing him head on with more disappointment and sadness that outright animosity

and somehow that scares him more than when she was ranting and raving and screaming at him

she asks why he can’t just let her have one good thing — but it’s not really a question and he knows it and he doesn’t even get to contemplate answering and manipulating her before she continues

she talks about you, about how she’s finally happy for the first time in forever and of course he has to come in and turn it all to shit (she spits the last word like it burns her tongue and continues in a dreamier voice, the ghost of a smile worming its way onto her lips)

‘they’re real sweet, ya know?’ (he doesn’t and she knows it but she continues), ‘they make me happy. we have fun together’

he says that they did too, jumping at the opportunity to reel her back in, but she chokes out a laugh and kicks his baby gate, causing his plastic body to stumble back

she scoffs at him and reaffirms that ‘fun’ doesn’t just mean being an adrenaline junkie — but even then that you don’t put her down or discourage her from doing what she enjoys

you let her have real hobbies, not just ones that benefit you — you even watch cheesy chick flicks with her and, pray tell, when did he ever bother to do the same?

never, that’s when

chucky tries to reel her back in again, recalling the fun they used to have — but he’s already lost

he lost before he even turned up at her front door because tiffany valentine has moved on

she doesn’t just want kinky sex and excitement — she dreams of domesticity and marriage and love

her days of bloodshed and murder are (mostly) over and have been since she settled down

since she fell in love with you

you with your smiles and your gentle touches and your humour that makes her laugh so hard her cheeks and sides ache

you who reaches out first and who doesn’t leave her high and dry and wanting like charles did

you who she loves, really truly loves, and who she’d never even dream of leaving

so she grabs a bottle of wine and tells chucky to keep on talking — because he may not have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning her over, but by god is it cathartic to watch him beg

… maybe she’d even call you up and give him a live show of every single reason, position and sound why you’re a far sight better than he ever was

[vv-julian]

SOC HEADCANONS RAAHHHH

kaz brekker: -grinds his teeth nonstop day in and out -good at logistical math like statistics, inequalities, stuff like exponential expressions etc. so fucking bad at geometry. give him a triangle he is like kys. prove this is a triangle? you want proof? i have proof that your wife is cheating on you -inej makes him do puzzles a lot. sudoku type stuff -drinks black coffee for show but hes not a caffeine-keeps-me-awake guy. hes a sugar-keeps-me-awake guy. sometimes its candies but usually it is sugar cane that he chews (did not originally know you weren't supposed to eat the fibers and would just swallow all of it)

inej ghafa: -made herself a self care routine, then ignored it and still completes all the tasks but not the way she organized it -is not one to yell at the other crows but they have many behaviors that are her pet peeves -when practicing climbing trees she tried to climb a weeping willow and got stuck on some of the leaves. inej vs weeping willow and she lost. now willows are her least favorite type of tree. plant in general -thought counting sheep was literal. learned it wasnt but it still helps her sleep

jesper fahey: -has an infrequent tendency to accidentally buy doubles of something. when he does he goes 2 wylan and is like SUPRISE!! i got us matching (insert thing) here -can do the worm, cannot do the macarena -went through a phase where he tried to impress kaz with puns. ended with violence -tried ballet. Tried

wylan hendriks: -gets regular migranes -buys huge sticker packs and puts the stickers on random people he sees. sometimes the crows but mostly just random unsuspecting people on the street. -dry ass skin. hates lotion texture though so its permanent. -likes to wear bracelets underneath his shirts/jackets and wears a LOT of them on the daily but theyre all really tight so they dont make noise or anything. and nobody can see them

nina zenik: -owns a stuffed animal but its for beating the shit out of when she gets mad. big ass stuffie that she just goes cobra kai on. -prefers hard candies over soft ones. hard candies like rock candy or those grandma caramel things that hurt if you bite them -neutral on classical books and poetry but actually despises old philosophy things written by dead guys. -has some joints that she can bend further than normal. like a double jointed elbow or smth and likes to scare matthais and be like OH MY GOD I SNAPPED MY ARM BACKWARDS and then laugh at him (lovingly though)

matthais helvar: -isnt dead L+Ratio -went to a rave once on accident. has never forgotten the experience and regularly thinks about it when he spaces out. little disco lights behind his eyes when hes staring at a wall. (he also would not go back to one) -only wears low-cut socks. gets into arguments with people about his dislike of high-cut socks -has stupid rare non-lethal allergies. nina tries to get him to eat food that is foreign to him and sometimes he just like. starts hacking it up and gets hives or somethn

[caustinen]

Hollywood!Clegan AU request.....the proposal (and maybe a little bit of exploring how they handled John's desire to be more public vs. Gale's desire for privacy beforehand?) <3 <3 :)))))

hi dear, thank you for the ask and sorry for delay!! i was vacationing with a lot of people so it was difficult to find time to write anything and i still feel a bit out of the flow but i hope you like it <3

hollywood au! publicity talks and the proposal

initially the decision to date in secret comes from just convinience; john’s career is skyrocketing when they’re still deep in the honeymoon phase and there’s just so much going on that they don’t really even think about it, just start to be careful not to put gale in uncomforatble situations as bucky starts getting also unwanted attention from the public — he doesn’t know how to deal with that even by himself and seeing gale has a natural tendency to shy away from cameras/any attention it feels like a no-brainer. from there, the conversation comes slow but still years before they actually go public; at first, it’s not like a debate they choose to have at a certain moment or something, but it kind of happens naturally over the years — they talk about the public and the hiding and the pros and cons in all differnet contexts anyway — so it’s not a big deal when one day gale casually drops that he’d probably be willing to go through with it if they were married or getting there, kind of making it more long-term commitement despite both already feeling like this is the endgame since early in the relationship and not necessarily needing marriage as an institution to seal that. maybe gale said this very early on, maybe even jokingly, but bucky put it in a box in his head and sealed it.

after five years together talking about almost anything comes naturally, but it’s still a complicated subject so i think it would take quite some time to reach the decision. a lot of it would be filled with flirting too of course since it now involves a possible proposal, with bucky always talking about a hypothetical situation, very unlikely, that he would propose, what would happen then, and gale would tease him back, maybe even saying he’d take the heat of the public just to get access to bucky’s money if they were married or something silly like that. but they both notice the jokes are getting more frequent, and the emotions underneath are very real.

gale is mostly scared people will find shit about him/his family/esp his dad that would bring problems to bucky or revoke his own trauma; he’s no contact with his dad and doesn’t want that whole can of worms in some gossip magazine, and he definitely doesn’t want his dad to be able to make money out of selling his childhood pictures or stories to the media, using his relationship that has healed him to bring up old wounds again. over the years however he’s been able to work through some of his emotional locks with john and the past doesn’t have such a chokehold on him anymore, so it’s not as scary of a thought. the relationship is also established enough that all kinds of commenting can’t shake it as easily as it might have in the beginning. he’s also madly in love with bucky and thinks that it will probably anyway leak through some documentation if they get married so they might as well do it on their own terms! it’ll be easier to buy a house together etc. and just overall the more he thinks about it the more he wants to celebrate their love rather than let the world or the past control the good he has now.

to bucky, to be able to be open about their relationship is also pretty much a must if they get married; he’s tired of living a double life as if gale was some shameful secret, and he doesn’t want to have to hide his love anymore, and he doesn’t want to see gale pretend he’s single and being constantly approched by everyone even when they’re out together. he wants to put a ring on it and leave lovebites on his neck and rave about how talented and hardworking and kind his partner is. luckily they both reach this conclusion around the same time, so despite there of course being some tenseness along the way they both are confident in it when they decide gale will accompany bucky to his next premier.

i might come back to the propsal sometime later because i’m not getting any good ideas right now, but it think i’d like to write it as something quite simple — bucky would know the last thing game would want is some big public event — he’d plan something private and romantic, or maybe it could be even a ’heat of the moment’ type of a thing despite him having planned it for a long time; maybe they’re visiting Wyomming (ofc not for Gale’s parents but maybe old friends or for something else) and you take the man out of the city not the city out the man because gale is still a country girl at heart, he’s relaxed and flirty and laughs more freely than anywhere else when he gets to ride horses and do dirty work at a farm, i could imagine him just excitedly babbling about the day when they’re getting ready for bed and when he turns around after putting his pyjama shirt on Bucky would be on his knees, pulling him closer by the sides and almost teary eyed as he begs him to marry him, that he wants to make gale as happy as he is right then as often as he possibly can and by the time he starts brokenly pleading to get to grow old together with him gale needs to stop him by agreeing before he too starts to cry.

(gale doesn’t have any emotional attachement to his father’s last name but because of business he thinks it’s easier to keep going by it as he’s professionally established with that name. officially he changes it to cleven-egan but bucky knows that nothing gets him going like calling him ’mr egan’ after that; the only thing that has similar effect is calling him ’husband’ 🤍🖤)

thank you for the ask & inspiration!! 💘

[monstersinthecosmos]

please make longform sheith posts on tumblr 😭😭😭 (if you so wish ofc)

hjaklgd I hung onto this ask because I was waiting for the right time to talk about Sheith and I got such an insightful comment on my fic Tonight the Stars Revolt! that I decided I wanted to talk a little meta about the thought process that goes into this fic and so here you are and it's time to utilize this invitation !!!!!!!!!!!!

The comment from DocYo5 as follows:

It feels like reality, the feelings and thoughts Keith has, fitting for someone who had to grow up without close relationships, with Shiro being closest to a family member before he left for Kerberos. Understandable that he's able to open up to him, because he trusts him and somehow understandable that they can have sex together without hard feelings... At least from Keith's point of view. We can only guess how Shiro feels about this, probably more than he lets out. For me it's surprising to have sex with someone repeatedly without considering to love him, to announce it as weird to like him when I think it's much more weird to fuck someone often without love, only to get release. In this fic I think it's possible that it stays that way. So I am curious what you will make of it. The way you put it it would make sense.

So!!!! This is exactly the dynamic that this fic is ABOUT, okay? And while some of this pertains to my fic specifically and the places their relationship goes behind the scenes of canon, I did build it off of canon, so a lot of this speaks to the way I’m reading them on the show.

Since the fic is Keith’s POV we’re spending more time with his interiority, naturally, but I’m going to get to Shiro in a second lol. But I think Keith is someone who really compartmentalizes his feelings. I think he, more than the others on the show, sort of has an ON and OFF switch in which he’s either a grumpy little shit or he’s simply dealing in facts. It’s SO rare to see him smile; I think he laughs, like, once? Even in the shitshow of S8 he can’t enjoy himself on their day off at the carnival.

Compartmentalizing can be a useful tool, especially given that the characters are at war, but it can be so harmful, as well. And Keith, unlike the others, tends to have sort of violent outburst from time to time and does lose his temper. I know the creators one time ascribed this to his being half Galra, which I think really opens a fucking can of worms when we talk about Keith’s emotional intelligence as well as being neurodivergent; it’s a popular fanon read that Keith is autistic, and there’s a lot of clues!, but I also have to ask like, how much of his Galra half is driving in his brain? And if his brain is only half human, that literally means he’s neurodivergent from a typical human.

I strayed from my point a little but I’m trying to say that Keith perhaps relies on anger a little too much, whether it’s genetic or not, and sometimes I think compartmentalizing looks like him being angry all the time because he won’t interact with any of his other feelings.

THE EXCEPTION TO THIS of course, is with Shiro! There are so many moments of him and Shiro where he’s vulnerable and soft in a way he doesn’t show to other characters! And I think it’s easy to overlook this when we watch with shipping goggles—of course we ARE SEEING IT because we’re shipping it lmao but it’s easy to forget that he doesn’t show this to anybody else.

So anyway I’ve been very intentional in this fic to try to write Keith as obsessively compartmentalizing and trying to keep a hold on all of his emotions and have control over the way other people perceive him. I’ve ranted & raved about this before but I read Keith as a person who makes himself deliberately unpleasant so that he can control when people come & go from his life, rather than ever trusting anyone or relying on them or having his feelings hurt when he inevitably gets abandoned again.

I often struggle in this fic with the line between showing and not telling because I am very aware that a lot of the text IS telling, but this is intentional! Keith obsesses over every feeling, every interaction with Shiro, he questions everything he says and does and worries about it for days! This is part of his anxiety around the whole situation and not knowing if he’s behaving correctly! He doesn’t want to compromise his relationship with Shiro, because it’s the ONLY meaningful relationship in his life AND Shiro is the ONLY person he has the stomach to trust, but on top of that he simply does not understand how he’s supposed to act. So every interaction between them is this huge puzzle for him to figure out and he’s stressed out as fuck!

And this fic is about him trying to compartmentalize all these human emotions and needs, like, his need to have sex, his need for companionship, maybe even his need for love? And he has the drive to want these things. (Does his growing and uncontrollable horniness have anything to do with same non-human half that dictates his temper? We shall see. 😏)  But how does he navigate “I am horny and want to get off” vs “I need the companionship of my best friend” alongside “having sex with someone is actually very intimate” and in the end "sexual intimacy makes me uncomfortable because in some ways this thing with Shiro is everything that I want, but if I admit that and lose it I will be destroyed” ?? How can these things coalesce for him???

The idea for this fic was me trying to subvert some tropes I was seeing all the time in Sheith fic and the main one is like, we have a habit of making them such soulmates and making it so seamless! WHICH IS FINE AND GOOD, I LOVE THOSE FICS TOO LOL, but I wanted to ask like, what if it was messy, what if they were just fucking? And I think part of me wanted to keep the illusion going for longer, when I was first planning the fic, and it wound up like growing a life of its own and taking me to a lot of places I didn’t intend to go. And I say that because, where we are right now in the story, I don’t think either of them are denial about their feelings, or withholding on purpose. I think Keith is compartmentalizing, and I tried to get at this a little bit when he has the conversation with Pidge about what love means. He loves Shiro, he already loved Shiro. He will love Shiro regardless, as a friend. And he’s also fucking Shiro. And he’s keeping these two things separate. And I don’t write it as if he’s pining and WANTS more (just yet) as much as he’s just found himself in a tricky emotional space and doesn’t know where his boundaries are.

The complication of the perhaps-alien-half dictating his libido trying to co-pilot with his very human half that is demisexual is a problem, too. Like he asks Pidge in Chapter 8: . “If you love someone as a friend, but you’re fucking them. When does it become, like. I don’t know. Romantic?”

He doesn’t know! We don’t know! Let’s keep going and see what happens lol.

SHIRO ON THE OTHER HAND.

What makes him such a great character (for me lol) is that like, he could so easily be such a 2D character and just, the fearless leader who is always chill and nice to everybody, and we DO get that to an extent, but they were generous in making him so multifaceted. He has PTSD. He struggles with his disability. He even loses his temper sometimes! When he gets back (as Kuron) he has a lil depression cave sesh in his bedroom in his PJs. Like he’s a very well rounded character and it makes him extremely realistic and human to me!

I don’t think it’s as fair to say that he compartmentalizes the way that Keith does, except what we can glean from his canon timeline. Meaning: He fights for the Kerberos mission despite his disability, he makes it up there only to be abducted, he survives the arena, he escapes to lead Voltron. And ALSO him being canonically queer; I think this starts getting into headcanon territory because I don’t think we get any clues in canon that they’re navigating homophobia in their universe, but we absolutely still see ableism and sexism. (Put a pin in the racism conversation as well when it comes to like, alien species and systems of oppression because there’s a lot to unpack and I’m trying to focus LOL.) So like, we do know that their world isn’t perfect, and Shiro is someone who had to work his ass off and fight for his rank and for his career. He’s someone who can put his feelings aside and focus on the task at hand, and we know this because he’s NOT perfect, he does occasionally lose his temper, and he has PTSD!

Basically, I think we have to assume he compartmentalizes to function, because he comes out of a year of INTENSE trauma to immediately lead a team, and lead them with kindness and patience, and the writing tells us that it’s not a matter of him being Perfect Cartoon Man, because he’s not a perfect person and he’s traumatized as fuck.

Because the fic is Keith’s POV I’ve tried to communicate this by Keith noticing that Shiro wears “masks”, or uses different voices. Sometimes it’s even about his clothes, like as they become more intimate and Keith starts seeing more of Shiro’s scars, and how Shiro is self-conscious about them. But it’s also moments like in Chapter 7 when Shiro is crying.

I feel that Keith and Shiro have some like sort of equal-opposite relationships to trauma and grief that balance each other in the end. Like, Keith lost his dad at a young age and had a horrific childhood, but that’s been his reality for most of his life and he’s learned how to carry it day-to-day.  Even though he’s a messier and more immature person, he’s used to shouldering it and it’s sort of baked into his personality at this point. But Shiro’s trauma is SO new. Shiro’s is a ton of shit ALL AT ONCE, vs. Keith’s 10+ years of grief and disappointment, and it’s so recent!  Even though Shiro is, on paper, a more mature and emotionally intelligent person, this is very new to him!

So Shiro in this fic also has some feelings he’s juggling, like, “I am touch starved and have physical needs” and “my mentee grew up kinda hot” and “I have to be very careful with him and his feelings”. He sees Keith for the mess that he is, and he’s patient, and he can wait for Keith, and take Keith’s lead.

I don’t feel that Shiro is pining necessarily, either—I think he’s a lot more grounded and realistic, and their encounters aren’t causing him the same level of anxiety because he can read Keith so clearly, even when Keith can’t read him back. But I think, he is pining a LITTLE lol. I think because he’s smart enough to know where this is heading, and he’s being patient, but he’d speed it along if it were up to him. They’re both so sensitive in different ways and I think they’re both so vulnerable to hurting each other’s feelings!!!! And Shiro is trying so so hard not to crush Keith like a little egg!!!!!!!!!!!

😊

Anyway !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for coming to my lecture! I don’t say this often about my fics because it makes me squeamish but I LOVE this fic, it really is where I put all my Sheith love, and all the thoughtwork I do about them is FOR THIS FIC lol it’s my lovenote to them, I’m putting my whole Sheithussy into it ahskjgdlasd

[heartonxions]

plsplspls tell me about your thai shadow gear brain worms some more i wuv dem

UWAA... i will try my bestest .hehe. im so glad you like my thai sg brain worms...

Songkran-isms bc it makes sense

droy uses full buckets of water and it's fucking terrifying because he can absolutely lift all that and knock a bitch (jet) out if he so pleases

also has water backpack he carries around

jet dual wields water guns and likes chasing the tuk-tuks and busses and spray water in them

jet breakdances on the wet road and it really fucking hurts but also its so fun

jet loses his flip flops every year

levy doesn't really care what she uses but one year she did use an empty weed sprayer and still has phantom arm soreness

she pranks the boys by catching them with their guard down and dropping water in their pants

they do love driving around and do a splash drive buy, but they like walking the most

levy also does the most talcum powder applying tbh tbh

they get juvia in it <3 because obv

consider water rave festival au

lily.... stays at home.. jk he has perfect vantage point from above

gajeel thought he could be intimidating but there is no mercy...

Everything Else:

droy can do mean thai yell (you usually hear it during celebrations and the such, i can't explain it because I don't know the actual word for it but in this song the very first cry is what im talking about)

i don't even know if i can do a favorite dish they all like becuase i think they would like all of it lol... spice tolerance from most to least is droy, levy, jet

jet is a SLUT for thai ice cream sandwiches .. they're not like the american ice cream sandwiches btw, it's like ice cream in an actual bun with white bread or something

levy loves loves fish sauce and fruit. that boy loves tart shit ok guys. she gets like the underripe fruits and just eats that with salt, sugar, and pepper like it's nothign (she got gajeel hooked on it)

droy likes agar jellies and coconut rice .. heart..

jet has hella beef with this one thai auntie neighbor but no one can tell if it's genuine or like a secretly agreed on beef

khon masked dancer jet.

nang mai/rukkhadeva (ghost inhabiting a large tree) droy heh.. heh...

ive definitely said this but droy is a great luk thung (thai country) singer,

Songs Because I Can't Help It I LOVE MUSIC

droy and levy vibes tbh (tis also one of the iconic thai new years songs teehee)

jet new years song

jet and levy campy gay hostility

this isn't even major sg to me imi just in awe with how much i hate this song but also keep listneing to (if it sounds like a song talking about twerking, it is. and it's so . .. . /confused)

majorrrrr silly jet vibes (the song is about a scam caller getting pranked or something)

this song is like how i think jet and droy would "flirt" with levy in the way that it is a BIT and they are teasing gajeel, and its just silly (the song is silly and is basically hey girl have you eaten yet!!!!!)

[redrikki]

Teen Wolf Rewatch 2.09 Party Guessed

Lydia's opening layered hallucination nightmare hallucination was terrifying! For those of you who are keeping track, there have been 4 moons in the show thus far, thus making it the full moon in April, aka the pink moon. The vibes for the worm moon are better though, feels like a rebirth, so that's what they went with.

I like to rag on this show for the writers not being able to keep track of details, but they're actually pretty good at foreshadowing. They set up Victoria's suicide and the knife she prefers over pills back in 2.03. The rave was on Friday night and the full moon is on Wednesday. Victoria has had 5 days to talk to Allison, but while she's bad ass enough to kill herself for family honor, she's too much of a coward to explain how she came to be bitten or why she isn't even going to try to manage her condition. The scene is set up like a tragedy and I feel for Allison, but fuck her for real.

Let's talk hallucinations. Allison confronts her stalker and then is stalked by her shadow self. Holy self-loathing and internalize mysogony, Batman! She hates her weaknesses and fears her darkness. Stiles sees his dad ranting about how killed his mother and ruined Noah's life. Guilt for having gotten his dad fired mixed with lots of self-loathing for being a "difficult" kid and a dash of fear about his father's alcoholism. Scott sees Allison making out with Jackson and then the kanima. Manifestation of his jealousy and possibly a fear that Allison is only into him because she's a monster fucker. Jackson sees his faceless bio parents and has his face erased. Clearly that's about his lack of sense of self and also the realization he's being erased.

Derek gets his wolves ready for the full moon. Boyd did his homework! Derek articulates the idea that the three states of wolf are fluid. Pain jolted Scott back to himself, but not Erica or Boyd for some reason. Isaac figured out his anchor first, even before Scott did. It's his happy memories of when his father wasn't a piece of shit. Not sure how I would about that. How the fuck does Lydia know where to find Derek let alone find the strength to get him from there to the Hale house?

Stray thoughts: Jackson breaks through enough to warn Lydia, but he does it at school when it's supposed to be spring break. Stiles is still working the case and he and Noah figure out the swim team connection.

[amessforlife]

Still losing my mind over chapter 204 and the time travel situation that’s been revealed and I haven’t seen any posts about it so I have to babble here 😭. I’m honestly quite surprised and pleased at how cohesive Mashima’s plot is turning out in terms of time travel, alternate universes, and the consequences of choices. I read somewhere that he has a plan for how Eden’s Zero will end, as opposed to the plot of Fairy Tail which was supposed to end earlier but got popular so he continued it, and it’s really showing! A proper space opera!! But it totally confirmed some theories I had for Rebecca’s power and I can’t stop screaming.

The interplay between time and gravity is turning out super interesting, and I’m really looking forward to how the concept of life plays into it, what with Mother being the source of human life. The fact that Shiki’s gravity ether power seems to be capable of pulling in time and memories is super fucking cool. It really seems to relate to the science behind black holes and how spacetime is affected where time is extremely slow near black holes due to their intense gravity. The explosion in Universe 2 seems like it created some kind of black hole or a worm hole or something and is why they find themselves so far in the future, which is rad and I hope Mashima keeps bringing in more science based stuff. Also, the fact that Shiki’s (reckless and idealistic) choice to save everyone on one planet led to the creation of an entity determined to end all organic life is honestly so fucking metal, I love this shit.

And all of the 20,000 years later snippets we got always gave me a foreboding feeling and this chapter confirmed it, I couldn’t stop crying. The moment Witch said that Rebecca had the makings of an Etherion user (can’t remember which chapter or if it was after 204), I had a deep suspicion that either Rebecca or some form of her power was Etherion, since Mashima likes to make callbacks to previous works, and Etherion was Resha’s power in Rave Master. The panel when robot Shiki sees Rebecca dead was just heartbreaking and the composition of the light and placement of angles was fab. I love those kids so much 😭💕 I know people are comparing it to Fairy Tail (WHICH I ADORE AND I LOVE THOSE KIDS, IT WAS ONE OF MY FIRST ANIMES) but space and magic are different lol, and I love how dark Mashima is going with this but also still hopeful. Fun adventures but also gritty space travel, the best of both worlds! Apparently the dark, space theme isn’t as popular in Japan according to what I’ve read from other posts, but I live for the angst, so I’m excited for what he has planned (though the hyper-sexualisation tropes I can live without, but at this point I expect it and just move along).

[gorey]

been randomly tweeting about this on zero sleep but reformatting in better detail for tumblr bc oh my gd I forgot about just how fucked up a part of 2018 was for us in an incredibly short span of time

- been 18 for a month, flagrantly abusing prescription ketamine, at our wits' end

- finally run out of ket when the use overtook the refill schedule, have a really vulnerable moment on video call with some summer camp friends

- literally the next day. walk over to the local garden store, get hired for the landscaping crew as a stealth transmasc binding full time we're talking manual labor 8 hours a day in the boiling sun in the titty squisher Plus we're weak as shit Plus we get in trouble for asking to use a client's bathroom bc we can't disclose that we don't have the parts required to piss in an empty Gatorade bottle. This lasts less than a week.

- break up with our long term partner, kiss best friend who is dating other best friend (who I'd had much stronger feelings for for a long time) (they both hate me now and we don't speak but that falling out didn't happen until several years after all this), try to like. get in a polycule with the two of them but I'm still talking to my ex and we get back together almost immediately on the condition that they get therapy (they never did) bc they started showing the bare minimum signs of actually loving me and I was of weak constitution

- after the landscaping crew I manage to worm my way into freelancing as a landscaper clearing the back lot of a local bakery (free fine pastries and coffee a massive perk) (also shoutout to the dude who would come by and harvest bamboo to make canes with, he helped me figure out how to work more efficiently).

- have massive sexuality crisis (false flag, was identifying as bi decided I was gay now I realize I'm bi I just had a lot of Girl Trauma from my other shitty ex) while working the lot just wandering around in a stupor imagining really unpleasant scenarios. I bought some really weird camel cigs that I've never had before or since they were tiny and odd tasting

- injure myself and never go back to work bc now it's time for my top surgery

Fast forward a few months I, titless, have moved in with the person I failed to break up with to escape my demented abusive father who had moved back in from an old folks home earlier that year to cut costs, get an awful awful job at chipotle, dive right back into my ketamine abuse now with even greater weed access for a truly mindbending experience, didn't need to pay rent bc my partner (now Actually my ex but not til several years after this) has RICH and ABUSIVE parents that were disappointed in their performance at college so they literally BOUGHT A HOUSE, made it be in my partner's name and had them play landlord for 2 chill friends and 1 absolute asshole all engineering/compsci students who would buy 4-aco-dmt on the gray net and built all kinds of weird fucking shit and art installations and one of them (the one who only ever consumed soylent) got a tarantula named APPLEBEES bc my partner as the fucking homeowner (vomit emoji) had naming rights for any bug introduced in their vicinity. Partner's deeply suicidal plans on dying after they graduate (fortunately didn't happen) I am utterly powerless in the face of this I'm being emotionally neglected and working myself to the bone but it was like one of the best eras of my life bc I got to get obscenely high and wander in the woods or just sit in the kitchen with the rave lights going listening to Blood Orange

[PRIEST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CONFESSION BOOTH RIPS A FAT VAPE HIT]

[goblinoid-wretch]

late night rambles again yippee

i have been stricken by two sudden realizations:

I need to be weirder

I've been spending too much of my life wasting away

Now, to explain:

1. There are so many cool and creative ideas that I see that I never take any initiative to follow. Like for instance those sketchbook pieces with like 5 different scraps of paper and various drawings all across them where it's this giant splash of colors and lines. That shits beautiful, that shit has personality. I'm so deeply caught up in making my pieces perfect and ensuring every line is exactly as i envision it that i can never complete them. And this goes for writing too: there are so many ideas i'd like to write (or share) that i haven't because my brain goes "noo its cringe you can't post it anywhere" or "noo irs incomplete you can't send it when it's less than perfect." And then I look at the writing of other people and go "oh this is the most beautiful piece of writing ive ever seen and it's incomplete and about two characters from some big game that i could never write about for fear of misinterpreting the characters." And its not just art-wise! I need to be weirder with my clothes and my appearance and everything! And I should also stop phrasing it as "need" cause that makes it seem like something I dont want to do. I *want* to be weirder!

And then, number 2: I've been doing basically nothing with my life for the past ?? years. Just sorta rotting in front of my computer, playing whatever game holds my fancy at the time. Hepling my family when they need it. Granted, I'm getting better at doing things - I'm going for a job interview today (should probably sleep) and I've been getting about the process of physically transitioning. But still, there's so much i want to do thst I just dont do. Cause a game's more important. Cause a game's easier. Cause I cant be damned to do anything particularly difficult and reap the rewards from them. I still look basically the same as I did in the first year of highschool. Hair's grown longer, sure. Different glasses. Maybe a bit taller. But still the same bland, blank monotone shirts, same sweatpants, same hoodie, same jacket. I need to will myself to change, to detach from the husk that I've been. When I die, I'd rather it be as a grand bonfire that's burned to embers rather than a tiny candle drowning in its own protective wax. If that makes any sense.

So, synthesizing these points into something a bit more actionable:

I want to become more confident in my own actions and thoughts.

I want to become okay with imperfection and the good that may come of it.

I want to become better at expressing my own wishes and living for myself.

I need (not want here, because it's still far too easy and alluring to slip into the trap of playing a game for 6 hours and burning the day away) to break away from the traps of easy distractions.

I want to become a more authentic version of myself (as cliche as that line sounds - therapist's cited that word-for-word to me countless times but it rings true)

Anyway, song time:

I know Metaroom ain't exactly breaking any boundaries in terms of "weirdness" but I like this one. Very fast-paced, very bouncy, very erratic. A damn sight weirder than the most popular music generally, so its a start. Strong bass, good breaks. Big fan.

[csaberific]

Echoes was written as a laundry list of concepts to flesh out. Some didn't survive the process. This was an attempt at a crew-centric chapter that took place right after Tuchanka:

---

The genophage is cured.

Samantha Traynor found her schools' history curriculum utterly lacking when it came to most non-human subjects. Decades into humanity's integration into galactic society, school boards, department heads, and textbook writers still had no idea how much to include and how to approach them, other than a handful of paragraphs that amounted to "it happened." The Krogan Rebellions happened, the genophage happened, the krogan were nearly sterile and would probably remain that way. Except they weren't going to.

The Normandy's mess was more alive than she'd ever seen, even during the bustle of the retrofit. Mess Sergeant Dang made extra food from a personal stock of quality ingredients, serving a stew that had the servicemen raving. Somehow bottles of Serrice Ice Brandy had made it aboard the ship, and Lieutenant Vega was all too happy to pour glasses. Samantha, meanwhile, found herself drawn to the mess table itself. Joker sat at the middle, Shepard across from him, Liara and Doctor Chakwas at Shepard's side.

"The camera feed was great," Joker said, waving a half-empty glass. "Scary as shit in the moment, but replaying it? Seeing the shadows of the Reaper's legs shifting around?"

Samantha stared at Shepard. "You sprinted underneath a Reaper?"

Perhaps she looked more flabbergasted than she thought. Shepard looked back at her with a ghost of an amused smile. "I did."

From the kitchen James shouted "It was awesome!"

"To summon Kalros," Liara said. "The mother of all thresher maws."

"What was that like?" a serviceman asked.

Shepard took a small sip of his drink, a dark whiskey. "She wrapped herself around the Reaper and pulled it underground. Never thought we'd have a thresher maw on our side."

Chakwas raised her glass. "To Commander Shepard, unifying the galaxy across sapient species and species less so."

Everyone joined in the toast. Samantha was still trying to picture a giant alien worm defeating an unstoppable machine with lasers, but she held up her cup (of water) nonetheless. It was a good thing the Reaper wasn't a capital ship. As classic and poetic as the narrative of primal nature conquering advanced technology was, Kalros couldn't have had the same luck against a vastly more powerful enemy.

"Couldn't have done it without a solid crew," Shepard said. "I know a lot of you were thrown aboard at the last minute or became accidental additions on Earth, but we've more than made do." Now he toasted. "To all of you. Thank you."

She followed suit this time as well, but she backed away as the drinks were had. The stew, she decided, making for the kitchen. Dang happily filled her a bowl, and she took it with a "thank you" and moved to the side.

Joker was talking about Mordin Solus, who'd sacrificed himself to deliver the cure. Samantha stayed out of the doctor's way while he was aboard. He seemed aloof and absorbed in his work, muttering analyses loaded with medical terms not quite beneath his breath. That was why she was surprised to hear Chakwas praise his performances of Gilbert and Sullivan, then to hear her break out into song herself.

"It's a party," someone said close to Samantha's ear, "Not an inspection."

She looked aside. Chief Engineer Adams regarded her with a reassuring gaze, taking a bowl for himself. The new engineers (old engineers), Donnelly and Daniels, were at his side.

"He's right," Donnelly said.

Daniels nodded. "Shepard's great at knowing when and how to throw morale boosts like this. He hasn't taken the crew out clubbing before we came aboard, right?"

"He does that?" Samantha asked.

"Well, it's probably hard to set that up in the middle of a war. This is probably already stretching things."

"Eh, it's better this way," Donnelly said. "Shepard's taste in clubs is a tad high-brow for me. Great drinks, but I always feel poor and underdressed."

Samantha glanced at Shepard, who, wearing that enigmatic smile of his, watched Chakwas sing. He seemed like the eye of a hurricane, calm in the center of swirling madness, entrenched in his place but not swept up.

"I just feel bad for the other shift," Samantha said. "They're missing all of this."

"Shepard'll make an appearance at their party, too," Adams said. "Plus, I've served with Mensah before. He's tough, but he knows when the crew deserves a good time."

"I am the very model of a scientist salarian!" Chakwas held the last note. She was on her feet, arms held out. The mess hall erupted into applause.

Adams laughed. "I changed my mind. I feel bad for them, too."

[moonrisecoeur]

🐕 ok baby im so sorry for this literal. giant list. BABY YOU SAID YOU WERE WEIRD ABOUT MUSIC, THAT YOU WERE ANNOYING ABOUT MUSIC, ECT ECT WHATEVER I FUCKING CHALLENGE YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING!!!!! NORMAL ABOUT MUSIC !!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DISGUSTING ABOUT MUSIC!!!!!

babe i even CATEGORIZED them bc theres so FUCKING MANY !!

also i did do cws on some songs i had concerns ab? the ones w !s are ones im super unsure ab. also aaaa u dont have to listen to any of these but,. u awaked the demon,, BEAST in me.

i have also fdhgkjdsfg listened to most of the songs in ur post but my brain is also mushy after listening to all of these and making this list so i shall. give thoughts Later. xoxo (its also late hehe)

my top faves <3 (if u like these i am skipping the making out part and going straight to fucking u)

this is your night - amber

no one ever really dies - mystery skulls

magic original demo - mystery skulls

these dont rlly have lyrics but i literally listened to them on repeat when i was writing the novel length asks to u so if u want ur brain to melt like mine while i was writing those...,, <3<3

(cw: a bit loud/high pitched and really weird music? ravey)

desktopbuddy - nanoray

dogwalk2000 - nanoray

dog bus (ft telemist) - metaroom

worm rave - metaroom

songs i feel ud like based on ur music taste ive seen (plsss tell me if u like them bc i will happily rec more i just feel bad w how long this list FUCKING IS)

until we get there - lucius

don't just sit there - lucius

wasting time - hoax

western medicine - hoax

into the blackhole - hoax

winter - daughter

the only exception - paramore

are you bored yet? - the wallows

don't you wonder? - jagged jaw

tonight is - jagged jaw

the comedienne - parenthetical girls

who'd have known - lily allen

somewhere only we would know - lily allen (this is a cover but god its my fav version so)

come to me - goo goo dolls (baby im ngl i think leon would love this song)

true love - coldplay

juliet - cavetown

lemon boy - cavetown (cavetown is a trans king please support his music <3 mwah mwah)

relax, take it easy - mika (ngl this one is a bit more of a shot in the dark buttt)

together - mystery skulls (same as above tbh)

these r from like 1 artist i rlly like but bby i am sure u will NOT like their music,, kinda like the nanoray and metaroom ones but like worse. !!WILL!! make ur brain melt. (trust me when i say i HANDPICKED thru their music,,,,)

kill screen - machine girl (!!!!cw: yelling! im only including this bc its one of my top FAVES. it goes so hard holy shit. if ur comfy with it listen from 2:55-end cus theres no yelling, its just such fucking GOOD buildup to the BEST part of the fucking song [3:18] i9ts literally. AHH)

post rave maximalist - machine girl (cw: has some sirens and airhorns? theyre not loud tho.)

freewill - machine girl

nine minutes and forty three seconds - machine girl (bro this album is like straight up not your alley this is the only song without screaming in it LOL)

cloud99 (as above mix) - machine girl

lilith - machine girl

cyan hardcore - machine girl

sin to win! - machine girl

IM OBSESSED W THESE AND THEY NEED MORE LOVE

my favorite color is you - revenegeinkyoto (!!!!cw: yelling--mostly exclamatories and parts of the bridge, the ending is a bit heavy w it tho--, yandere song, heavy metal)

don't go insane - dpr ian (THEREVE BEEN SO MANYT LEON EDITS TO IT AND GGGRRRRRR GRHHHH RHHHH that one part GURLL iykyk but ITS A GOOD SONG REGARLESS AHHHGGGHHHH)

the memory viewer - sugary sweet machines

talkative revolver city slicker (/or/) resume song - sugary sweet machines (these are 2 songs that (at their core) are essentially the same but are different enough that i pick them based on which im just feelin more,) (OK SO ALSO these r from the ost of an indie game and IDK if i can rec the game personally (i found it during a very dark part of my life) but the ost and esp these songs are hella banger and i really want the artist to get more love for them)

megatronic - powerman 5000 (cw: not yelling but heavily synthetic sounding? hard music xP)

benzie box - danger doom (THIS. GOES. SO. HARD.)

boys & girls - will.i.am (BI SONG? BI SONG?)

gekka no yasoukyoku - malice mizer (cw: not english) (THIS GOES SOOOO HARD its literally. so good. i try to avoid reccing songs not in english but this is too good to not)

cipher peon battle - pokemon colosseum (it makes me feel epic lol)

overrated but i love them

little dark age - mgmt (i literally make amvs in my head about re2 leon in my car while listening to this song i am obsessed. Obsessed.)

wasted summers - juju<3 (fuck ppl who hate on this honestly like can ppl not have fun with music? let indie musicians have fun !! hes literally making a song with his sister thats the sweetest shit ever!!!!!!!!!! also honestly this song kinda hurts if u relate ngl pookie)

rhinestone eyes - gorillaz (iykyk,, that edit introduced me to this song but it FUCKS !!)

take me to church - hozier (look. -foams at mouth- thats all.)

mary on a cross - ghost

idk where to categorize these :v

the wolf - siames (I LOVE THIS THE EVERYTHING THE ANIMATION THE DOGGIE !!! woof woof)

can't get you out of my head - kylie minogue

better off alone - alice deejay

hypnocurrency - deadmau5

gyrate - rezz

j-boy - phoenix

credits song for my death - vivivivivi

i would do anything for you - foster the people (i ALMOST put this in faves bc god i am,, obsessed w this song but, i feel like its bully material so.)

sit next to me - foster the people

the sweet escape - gwen stefani (look i always loved this song, but i have a leon edit of this song saved to my phone and i watch it Daily)

my love - justin timberlake (me and leon. i also have a leon edit to this i watch daily.)

bloody mary - lady gaga

you like early 2000s type music? cringe? this is for u bbg

(cw: cringe, ravey)

pretty rave girl - s3rl (PLSLSSSS I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCHH GRRHHRGRRHHGHHDHDGSGDFSDFGGFHSD)

blame you - romanceplanet

bleed (runaway) - romanceplanet

lollipop (candyman) - aqua

ok this is stupid but im ngl im putting songs that make me think of leon in some way here (considering making my own playlist of stuff for him lmk if my taste is good enough boo ;* /j)

with you - linkin park (!!!!cw: yelling. (im including this bc i just want to say leon would fucking love this song. id make out with and grind on him at a house party to this song,, that is all). the yelling isnt super loud but the music is screechy during the parts so it might make u uncomfy? be safe if u listen boo, its alil on the harder side of songs)

cure for the itch - linkin park (cw: the beginning has a brief moment where theres a loud announcer? other than that this fucks, goes HARD.)

under the bridge - red hot chili peppers (WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR,,, ROCK AND GRUNGE TO LISTEN TO bc i am obsessed with leon ehehe THIS SONG LATCHED ONTO MY BRAINSTEM,,,,,,thinking ab holding his hand while this plays on our mixtape while we drive to our coffeeshop date in raccoon city,,.,,,,u//w//u)

smells like teen spirit - nirvana (!!cw: screamy? i think? i cant tell if im desensitized to screaming in music or sm LMFAO its a song i scream when i sing it tho so) (also i KNOW this is a generic pick but it goes so hard!!!!!!!!!!!! leon Literally listens to this like its just canon)

talking in your sleep - the romantics (baby im so sorry i cant explain this one i also want to fuck michael afton and thats bleeding into my lust for leon)

no friend of mine - aimless device (THIS IS SO GOOD I WISH IT WAS MORE POPULAR)

hyena - aimless device

nobody's real - powerman 5000 (cw: its a lil bit hard of a song) (i cant explain this honestly leon would just listen to powerman and this would be his fave)

i'm not in love - 10cc (look look here ok listen to my vision. leon trying to convince himself hes not actually head over heels for you. i think its cuter with re2 leon hehe hes so cutie pookie BUT. [im not personally into aeon But..] PLEASE imagine him just laying in bed listening to this because hes still hurt over ada but hes falling so hard and fast for you. and hes scared. TERRIFIED even, <3 dont worry babyboy ill treat you so well)

yellow - coldplay

the scientist - coldplay

always in my head - coldplay (ok look i tried really hard to not put in so many coldplay songs but, listen. coldplay just feels so fucking aeon for you aeon enjoyers)

sweetest goodbye - maroon 5

sunday morning - maroon 5

my console - eiffle 65 (look. its Funny.)

separate ways (worlds apart) - journey

away from the sun - 3 doors down

here without you - 3 doors down

my precious - lifehouse

hanging by a moment - lifehouse

last child - aerosmith

jaded - aerosmith

turn up the radio - autograph

lullaby - the cure

last kiss - pearl jam (cw: kinda descriptive singing about the scenario of a loved one dying, brief mentions of religion) (he wouldnt relate to this song at all but i KNOW mans would cry to it)

(i could dig up more for this section but baby i do not wanna bore you with retro songs)

actually fuck i could put so many more songs period but this is probably already a 5 hr playlist atp eheh sorry

if u want i could make an actual playlist if u ACTUALLY wanna listen to ts so its not such a pain going thru dhjksdfhgsdkg (tho theres a few songs that arent on spotty bc its stinky :( )

🐕

the most hilarious part about this is that the only song on this gigantic list that i recognize is don’t go insane BUT NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF LEON i just like dpr ian he’s so pretty :3

also i think ill be able to put them into a playlist myself !! dw i don’t wanna make u go through the effort!! i shall attempt to listen to everything!!

[scary-movies-on-netflix]

THE OUTWATERS (2022)

Hello, readers.  I’ve been gone for (quite) awhile, but I have returned to bless you with more movie reviews.  Today’s selection is “The Outwaters,” an entry into the found footage subgenre.  Certain people are raving about this, yet others call it hot trash.  Which is correct? I will render, once and for all, the objectively correct judgment.*

We start off with a 911 call, where the dispatcher listens to people yelling and screaming.  We then, I presume, jump back into the past, where we spend a good thirty-plus minutes setting up our characters.  (The conceit is that we’ve found the memory cards of some young folk who were lost in the desert a few years previously.)  We have Main Guy, who mostly holds the camera and mike, his brother, Singer Woman, and Ange.  They are heading into the desert to film Singer’s latest smash music video, which will brilliantly feature her walking around barefoot in the desert.  Everyone is mostly bland and forgettable, but at least they’re not assholes, as is far too common in these movies.

Anywho, the first day Main Guy sees an axe sticking out of the sand, which is sort of creepy.  That night they hear strange booming thunder.  Main Guy walks around, shining a tiny little light at things in the dark, which is annoying for the viewer because we’re not really seeing anything, just parts of things.  He ends up seeing some flashing lights in the sky.  Shit!  The next day Main Guy films Singer doing her singing thing.  His shots are very close in, almost no wide angles, which will be extremely annoying later on, because (again) we’re only seeing parts of things.  That night the booming thunder returns, and Main Guy walks off, except this time he sees the silhouette of a guy holding that same axe from earlier!  Main Guy turns to flee, but we hear footsteps and a thud and can only assume that he has been axed in the head, as he will spend the rest of the movie in a dazed and confused state.  He returns to the camp just in time to hear slashing around the girls’ tent and catch a glimpse of them running off into the desert.  He then spends three minutes hiding in some bushes as we listen to the ladies scream in pain and terror.  We don’t see anything at all, just a black screen, except at the end where he wanders off and encounters Ange, whom he promptly abandons.

The next day he’s all alone, except for the mounds of red flesh dotting the area.  Oh, and the red worm creatures.  There are red worm creatures that shriek and slither away from him.  Mind you, at this point there are about forty minutes left in the movie, and we spend that time with Main Guy as he repeats a loop of horror over the next few days.  That first day he encounters the worm monsters and loses his clothes.  That night ends with him in some kind of watery hell with a pulsing beat, and he’s spit out through a glowing slit…so I’m pretty sure he’s being reborn.  A lot happens the next day.  He sees himself and his friends walking through the desert and he chases a bloody version of Singer.  Highlights of that night include finding a bloody Ange, visiting his mom’s house, flying on a bloody plane, and encountering a monster!  Shit!  Well, I can only assume it’s a monster, since we’re only blessed with a tiny little beam of light, so we see bits and pieces of some sort of reptilian thing.  It certainly sounds monstrous, so there’s that.  He goes back to the tent, where he and Ange are attacked by tentacles, but, again, we have only a tiny little light.  He goes back outside, where he approaches the same bloody axe from earlier, but an ominous voice says, “SHOW THEM,” and he’s plunged back into the water.  We end up staring at something like a starfield while an angelic choir sings, but he’s shoved back through the slit of light into the dark desert.

Main Guy has landed at a sign stating, “Warning” and “Restricted,” and he sees an old gas mask.  He encounters himself holding an axe.  Daylight comes, and he sees the severed heads of his friends planted atop posts.  He wanders off and finds a fossilized shark tooth, which is neat!  Except that he uses the tooth to cut off his own penis and then disembowel himself.  He finally puts down the camera and walks away, lifting up his hands to a plane flying overhead.  THE END.

This was…fine.  It’s a bit above average when considering other found footage movies from the past few years.  I don’t think it’s as good as all the reviewers are ranting.  People go into the desert, encounter horrors.  This is either about some type of haunted location, or, give me a moment, the kids are suffering from some type of delusion or drug-induced episode and kill each other.  In any case, the main conceit of these films (i.e. found footage horror) is that we only know as much as the protagonist with the camera.  We, the audience, are fine with that because there’s an internal narrative logic.  This film, “The Outwaters,” breaks down along those lines because the night time scenes are mostly illuminated with a tiny little light with an extremely narrow beam, so we barely see anything.  However, sometimes the same flashlight is being used with a very wide beam, so we see everything!  This is extremely annoying because there’s no narrative reason to switch the beams of light, except to limit what the audience is seeing at that moment. This is breaking the contract between the film and the audience, where we accept the limited perspective of the narrator, so long as the limitation is consistent.  To make up for this, I suppose the sound design is good.

Currently streaming all over.

*Obviously!