#Guys I keep thinking of these shitposts & they go here

[dumbfucksystem]

imagine if the shen family was actually a part of the mafia. and shen yuan just never knew.

like his Family is rich and they are all super close. he’s even in contact with some of his distant relatives pretty often, which is kinda cool for him, he’s sure that this isn’t the case for most families so he considers himself lucky to know the extent of his family tree. sure, some of them seem to have lost a marble or two but what family doesn’t have a couple oddballs in their midst, you know?

and its not just sy’s comical obliviousness that contributes to this. his family is well aware that sy is not suited for this life style- especially his siblings. they grew up watching him get himself into all sorts of weird situations and putting himself at a disadvantage simply because he’s too nice. he can try and deny it all he wants (just like how he denies he’s gay- c’mon sy everyone can tell you are not straight) but his sense of justice would only burden him if he were to work for the Family. not to mention his sense of self preservation is absolute shit and they don’t want to have to babysit him his whole life- and he probably doesn’t want that either!

so they send him off to college, help him find an apartment, and basically do everything they can to help him start off on his own, away from the Family. his siblings had to do a whole lot of convincing to let this happen btw- this kind of thing usually isn’t allowed, but sy doesn’t know anything that could be used against the Family, so they make an exception in his case. better for them to not have a deadweight sticking around either is what they say but they all dote on him anyways and refuse to admit they care about him. sy definitely picked up this line of reasoning from them btw.

shen yuan is a little upset and confused that his Family seems eager to send him off (it’s not like they can’t afford for him to live with them after all- both of his older brothers still live in the Family’s massive house and even his aunts and uncles are living there??). he manages to recover quickly though. at least now he can read his web novels in piece without prompting any dick jokes (his cousins had a field day when they found his account with all of his pidw comments…). now he just needs to figure out how to live by himself.

it’s not that sy is incapable of taking care of himself- it’s just that he’s so used to having other people with him that he never understood how much they were doing for him until they were no longer around. but that’s fine, living on your own is just another learning curve and sy is willing to rise up to the challenge. which he did, by the way! he found a job and pays his taxes and even though that isn’t much he still gives himself a mental pat on the back for it. he is still in contact with his siblings, he never misses an update for pidw which he totally doesn’t get excited for and his life is going great.

……until he accidentally eats some expired food and dies.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

the sole and devastating problem with monkey man is that it will literally never be able to push past the people who think the concept of the film disrespects hanuman ji to be exposed in an environment where people see it for more than its name.

[daily-blog-reunion-of-2024-lore]

Guys if kirby got the powers of the dailyverse characters they would just be gay

[gothamcityneedsme]

My sister was SO AGAINST arkhamverse barbara/tim but i fucking GOT her while playing the dlcs in front of her

[pastrydragon]

The BG3 Beef I wanna see shitpost

While I do love the idea of Tav/Astarion/Karlach/whoever getting more unique mean dialogue with Ulder Ravengard, especially when he has the audacity to take up space in your camp like that instead of someone cooler like Barcus or that one bullied hyena, I want very specific flavor text that you'd only get in the epilogue party if you pick a specific ending even more.

I think if you romance Wyll as Gale or Gale as Wyll and then you don't go to Avernus, I think it would be totally galaxy brain to have dialogue in the epilogue that reveals Ulder Ravengard and Morena Dekarios fucking DESPISE one another. Because they absolutely would.

We never get to meet Morena in game but you can tell from what Gale and Tara say about her and Gale's... Galeness that she is at least a part time passenger on the "Fuck you my child is fine" train. Her sweet little boy? Commit evil deeds? Never! There has obviously been a mistake. I mean she indulged that "Gale Of Waterdeep" nonsense and when Gale summoned a full on Tressym after being explicitly denied a kitten as a child, she just let him keep her. No repercussions.

And then her sweet boy brings home another sweet boy who is probably EXACTLY what she pictured Gale's partner should be like.(Because Wyll is the damn blueprint for "Guy you could bring home to mom") Wyll is ridiculously sweet to Gale, he's the perfect gentleman, he's very open to the idea of giving Morena the grandchildren she's been nagging Gale about in the very near future. Pinch her, she must be dreaming!

I cannot imagine her reacting to Wyll's backstory with any amount of empathy towards Ulder, obviously that man is a cruel psychopath to throw poor Wyll out like that after "a tiny misunderstanding" and Wyll is just too good of a son not to see it. Which is partially true, Wyll is definitely still in some kind of denial stage over what his father did but that's not the point of the post.

Then there's Ulder who probably thinks Gale is... Fine. He's not someone he ever would have pictured for Wyll. Gale is a babbling oddball, he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease and has only ever met the pointy end of a sword. But he can't say anything because Gale saved him, his son, and Bulder's gate, and a small army of tieflings, and apparently a bunch of mushroom people and blah blah more reasons he can never have the moral high ground blah. He's undeniably stuck with this fucking wizard, and his nightmare of a mother.

Morena firmly believes that since the Ravengard manor is technically Wyll's now, then it's also Gale's and thus is now hers as well. When I say she would walk through the doors like she owned the place I mean it very literally. Where did Ulder's old helmet display go? "They were rusty and it was ruining the wooden shelves, besides these enchanted swords go better with the new drapes we had to get, I don't know how you didn't notice how moth eaten they were getting." Everyday he wakes up and something about his own damn home has been changed to make it look more like a wizard tower. She doesn't even live here most of the time!

And it doesn't stop there, not at all. No this women has to make sure his son doesn't live there full time either. Every holiday and birthday she has to send Gale a letter about how much she misses him and you should visit so you can take a break from all that(Very important!) work and how she already has the venison just for Wyll.

And every time he's forced to interact with this harpy she looks at him with a sweet smile on her face, honey in her voice and the burning hatred of a thousand suns in her eyes then somehow managed to insult him five times in one sentence without ever explicitly insulting him. This women is a devil from Avernus sent to punish him for his sins and she's even won over the grandkids. Obviously that women is a manipulative psychopath for using her control over Gale to manipulate his son. Which, yeah Gale not being able to say no to his mom has contributed greatly to this and if Wyll knew what healthy boundaries looked like he probably wouldn't have put up with it but he doesn't so here we are.

Let these two be the Tom and Jerry style B plot to BG4 is what I'm saying.

[cadmusfly]

Let's Judge The Signatures Of Dead Frenchmen - Marshals of the Empire Edition

plus some bonuses at the bottom

This is a shitpost I've just wanted to do ever since I noticed Masséna's signature.

I know signatures are not meant to be legible, god knows mine isn't, but look at it, it's all the same letter!

I'm lazy so I'm only going to judge the ones on wikimedia and a few extra from letters, sorry to Marmont and others who did not get their signatures scanned and then made transparent for osme reason who is going to forge a dead frenchman's signature

Of course Bessières has a nice one:

Berthier is also pretty nice:

Loopy! Wait as has been pointed out to me, that could be an Alex. Did anyone ever call him Alex or Al

I love Lannes' because he circles his name!

A fancy guy like Murat's gotta have a fancy one, right?

Nice but not as loopy as Berthier's, honestly not the fanciest here

Davout has a nice legible one

Let's look at Soult's-

Woah, he's taking up a bit of space there! Where are you going with that t, champ?

Augereau is nice and straight I'm in awe as someone physicalyl incapable of writing in a straight line even on lined paper

Mortier is also really nice!

but also Ed Mortier. He called himself Ed. Do you think his friends also called him Ed or perhaps Eddie

MacDonald is Massena tier

can you guess who this next one is

hint: not french

Lefebvre's goin for the loop:

Jourdan is all classical:

Cant find Bernadotte pre-kinging but dude why is your kingograph so large who transcribed it like this

@phatburd linked me St Cyr's and

Very nice!

Victor lets see

I think I see a V in there. And a treble clef.

Oudinot:

I can kinda make it out!

But anyway I've been saving the best for last.

I have no words for this artistic masterpiece by Marshal Michel Ney.

Is that an umlaut or an emoticon? What are the two lines doing - error of transcription or part of the actual signature? Why do the loops just keep on going????

Is he just self conscious of how short his name is?????

Bonus!

Eugène de Beauharnais how's your-

he just didnt know when to stop.

Junot:

circle! pretty circle! napoleon did say he has pretty handwriting

Duroc:

Man he turned that c into an underline

This was fun! Next I'll rate all their coat of arms of something

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Seal anon here!

Just thought of a very funny y/n for the cookie world...a y/n who is oblivious to all the cookies trying go flirt and stuff with them! Also easily distracted like one second they simply think a cookie is being really nice to them and then the next they get distracted by a butterfly. Basically in the 'I want y/n' wars, they gotta keep y/n's attention on them and basically be something like 'and that is why I should be the one to date y/n-y/n, sweetheart, no. Don't wander off. Here, have a sweet treat and stay riiiight there. Ok? Ok. Anyway what makes you think you're worthy of y/n?' Or two cookies could be fighting over y/n while THINKING y/n is still close by but then they pause and realize 'wait where did y/n go?' And have to go chase em down lol!

Like have to keep y/n distracted and close to them or else they will wander off and do their own thing lmao! A very oblivious y/n!

What better duo with this than Milk and Yam?

Tw: SHITPOSTING, brief mentions of manipulation

Milk is sweet and worries a lot. He tends to panic when MC wanders off without him nearby. That's why he tends to hug them or hold their hand so they don't leave without him noticing. Once he finds them he's cooing and basically babying them a little too much.

Meanwhile, Yam is the equivalent of a Chihuahua. He's screaming and yelling, which is his way of calling for MC. Once he finds them, he just puts them over his shoulder so they can't get away. He does enjoy the feeling of them being helpless without him.

If the two are in the same space, it's literally an old married couple + MC.

Milk will try to lure MC in with his nurturing nature while also trying to passive-aggressively shove Purple Yam out of the way. If they're out adventuring he likes to just randomly put his shield up and be like, "You can't forget your shield MC! You might get hurt without me right by you!"

Yam gets so pissed at Milk because he knows Milk is trying to push him out of the way. The only way Yam tries to get MC's attention is through his language. I can see him swearing and being mad about things constantly; that MC finds it funny. In battle, he'll just swing around his mace to protect the group. But especially MC. "HRAGH! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY MILK I WANNA TALK TO THEM!"

I can see Milk and Yam arguing in whisper-yelling (we'll ignore that Yam can't be quiet right now) while MC is asleep. Like when they're camping for the night and MC is sleeping in between the two.

"You need to stop being so mean and aggressive with them! They do nothing wrong! I can't believe you would do such a thing to a poor little thing like them..." Milk pets your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Look who's talking! You're the one manipulating them with your fucking 'Prince Charming' act! If anything, I'm just like any other cookie who has anger issues!"

"Me? I would never! I just want my precious one safe...and sound." Milk stares at your face with too much of a loving look. His smile practically glued onto his face.

"Yeah right! I'm the one beating up bad guys here!" Yam reaches an arm to tug you closer but hesitates.

"Go to sleep!"

"No! You go to sleep!"

"Guys I think I might be controlled by a human entity that has a really large finger." Suddenly, you whisper, absolutely clueless to the conversation.

"What? Say again?"

"HUh?"

"Finger..." You fall back asleep.

——————————————————

I was in the mood for some shitposting. No, I will never be sorry for it.

I was thinking Gumball and Darwin at the very end lol

- Celina

[cosmicstarlatte]

Manhandling Them (Obey Me!)

━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━

Look at you manhandling your favorite demon. Nice.

»Characters: Demon Bros

»Tags: Shitpost, Mildly Suggestive, Jealousy, Dom vibes I guess lol , GN Reader/MC

»Notes: I had my OC in mind for this since he's a big guy but this could work for anyone, bc hc in a hc, you're super strong in this world OKAY!?!?♡

Lucifer:

This old man never takes a fucking break. You find him working late into the night, fighting the sleep he very much needs. You tell him to go rest and continue the work tomorrow. He refuses of course because why would he ever take an order from you? "Oh? Nope! You're done for tonight. Up we go!" You say as you pull him out from his office chair and toss him over your shoulder.

What...what is happening?

[Fighting Status: Engaged]

Shifts into demon form and starts flailing around, yet it does nothing to you

"Put me down this instant!"

You just pat his wings down soothingly trying to calm him down

"Dont ruffle your feathers Luci, this is for your own good. Also if you continue like that, your brothers will come investigate."

He stopped flailing and looked torn: continue to fight or be seen in such a position? There's also the third option, your death

While he was thinking you continued to pat his wings and heard a small purr

winner winner chicken dinnerrrr what have we here!?

"Aw see I knew you'd like it! Alright off to bed!" You say carrying him to his room

"...Maybe I am a little tired...and this might not be the worst thing in the world." He said, absolutely defeated

Since then, it doesn't happen often, but he will let you carry him to bed if he's absolutely drained and no one else is around to see

[Taming the beast: Achieved]

Mammon:

"Mammon we need to go now or we will be late for dinner!" You yelled at him as he continued to bargain with the shopkeeper. He yelled back saying it would only be another minute...taking another 5 minutes. Enough is enough. You grab him and carry him out, bridal style.

One second he's talking to the shopkeeper, the next he's being lifted into the air

"AH! HEY!"

Shifts into demon form and notices it's you and not some stranger

Shifts back into his human form

🍅.jpg

"W-what is this!? P-put me down!" He said as he wrapped his arms tighter around your neck

"Mm, maybe if you kiss me on the cheek?"

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? THE GREAT MAMMON OBEYS NO ONE!"

He continued to complain but did absolutely nothing to try to get out of your arms

He let out an annoyed huff when you guys got home...you were sure it was because he didn't want to come down

Now, he occasionally takes long at places so you could carry him...it's obvious when he keeps looking back to check if you'll get him

You caught on of course, but hey, he's your little tsundere demon

Levi:

"I'm not going to RAD today!" He yelled from his room. The hell he is, you kicked his door down and he screamed. You roughly pulled him from his tub and tossed him over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes, heading towards his closet.

"WWWWHAAAAAATISGOINGONNNN!?"

[Levi demon thrasher mode activated]

He was so confused and turned on by the sudden morning events

"Hey, hey! LEVI, stop it!"

He complied immediately and stopped struggling, you pat him gently while he still tried to understand what made you come in there so rough today

"That's a good demon!"

His tail swished around excitedly at your praise...this morning was something he never expected in his wildest dreams

Subby boy is subby™️

"Oh you like this a lot don't you? I guess I'll come get you more often."

"W-will this be an everyday thing!?" say yes say yes say yes say-

After that day, he still hesitated to ask for piggyback rides or anything else but you know the look and happily scoop him up every time

Please toss him around more, he loves it

Especially when you're rough

Satan:

Lucifer and Satan fighting was nothing new, but you just didn't have the energy to hear them today. So what better way than to just take one of them from the other? "Come here kitty!" You say, wrapping your arms around Satan and pulling him up against your body, carrying him to the manor library. 

He shifted into demon form in an instant

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!? LET ME DOWN!"

He wasn't sure how your grip was so strong as he continued to try to pull away from you

And he also didn't understand why it felt so good to be carried by you

You patted him and told him to let the anger go and just enjoy the rest of the night with you

He stopped struggling but felt conflicted by what he was feeling especially since Lucifer looked so pleased when you two left

But this does feel good...and you chose him to hang out with

"Tch."

"Fine I'll put you down and-"

"No. You brought this upon yourself. Now continue to the library." He held on tighter

You smirked and he opened his mouth to argue but huffed instead

He was...actually impressed by your boldness and wouldn't mind being manhandled like that again

Just not when he's fighting with Lucifer please

Asmo:

Everyday his fans crowded him and 80% of the time, it was okay with you. Today though you just really wanted to go home quickly with him but his fans intercepted. Yeah no, you just weren't having it today. "Sorry guys we have to go home now." You say and tug on Asmo's hand. "Mm I don't know, it shouldn't take too long-" he starts. You raise an eyebrow at Asmo and end up tossing the Avatar of Lust over your shoulder, jogging away from the gawking crowd.

What just happened?

He squeals excitedly

"Oh I like this!♡"

He was surprised by your sudden action as you've never carried him before

Especially something so...possessive? In front of other RAD students!?

He was gushing

"Should I expect this more often!?"

"Yeah, probably. I should've done this a while ago." You admitted

Devildom Pictures Presents: Asmo, the Avatar of Blushing

He made himself comfortable and chatted with you while on the way home

The two of you ignored the looks of others but photos were definitely taken and posted to gossip sites

After that day he loved asking for piggyback rides and being carried around, he let you know how much he loved it every time

Beel:

Lucifer entrusted you to guard the fridge from Beel and so you did. "Sorry, Beel!" You tell the gluttonous beast. "Eh? I'm hungry now...I just want a little food..." He tried to walk around you to reach the fridge and that's when you scoop him up flawlessly, bridal style. You carried him away from the kitchen.

???

He did not foresee this ever happening

He could only blankly stare at you as you carried him further and further away from the kitchen

He actually really liked it but was worried about his weight

"You should put me down. You might get hurt."

"Did you not see how easily I scooped you up? This is nothing."

Beel smiled and went with it, completely forgetting about the fridge

"Can we do this more often?"

"Was already planning on it big guy!"

His heart flipped! After all, no one, even in the celestial realm, ever held him like this

And the fact that it was you, made it a million times better

The two of you settled on the couch while he stayed in your lap and cuddled with you until dinner time

(1) New Text from Lucifer : You did well. I'm counting on you for next time.

Belphie:

"You can't make me move!" Belphie muttered half asleep. He had a habit of falling asleep in weird places around the house and for some reason he chose the front of your bedroom door. You nudged him with your foot and he went back to snoozing on his cow print pillow. Okay, bet. You leaned over him and swiftly picked him up, wrapping his legs around your waist and holding him securely. You finally entered your room.

???

"You're not Beel!?" He said bewildered (and slightly embarrassed) by the sudden realization

"No I'm not and you were blocking my door."

"This feels nice from you. I could get use to this." He murmured happily at the sudden closeness

You roughly toss him onto your bed and he complained about demon abuse and rights

"Ugh! More gently next time!?"

He was still impressed by your use of force, you always surprised him which is why you're his favorite human

Was happy you decided to take a quick nap with him but upset you kicked him out after

"Hmph. You haven't seen the last of me!"

And it was true, he made it more of a habit to sleep in front of your door so you'd carry him inside, sometimes he got you to cuddle with him

He freely asks for piggyback rides if he's particularly drained

⬦You might also like: Flirting With Others︱You ARE The Father

[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[snow-lavender]

now that we're a week out from the finale, i'm feeling settled enough to make my sappy post. TL;DR is: fable has been incredibly important to me, and i think it's a story that's important to have out there. to the community and cast, you've made something beautiful and helped me more than you could know.

so here we go-

i started watching fable in the summer of 2022, to kill time in between summer courses (and thank fuck for that, cause my brain desperately needed to have some fun after 5 hours a day of doing psych stats by hand.) i was originally pulled in by vo'lete, as dissecting a conlang is really fun to me. it became basically the only media i consumed, as 2022/2023 was the fourth year of my BA and i was crazy busy. and then the characters pulled me in further with their earnestness and their devotion to redemption and compassion.

i think one of the theses of fable is "people always deserve happiness. doing awful things doesn't erase your ability to change." and i think the simplicity and love of that take hit really close to home. in the era of modern fandom where bad actors try to make everything black and white, it's an important point to make.

i started making shitposts on tumblr, started enaging with stories from an analysis standpoint again, and found a lot of joy in the community here. i don't have the words for what that means to me, so i'll just default to you guys are great <3

then mid-august happened

those of you who frequent rin's streams might have caught bits and pieces of this, but basically, i had a fall and my knee became royally fucked beyond belief. it can only be fixed with a surgery that's not very common. the pain was (and still is) debilitating to the point that i had to drop out of my second degree, and couldn't walk more than like, a block every few days. my life, my dreams, my future all got put on hold. i was in a new city with no supports, no friends, and no way to leave my apartment. fable went from the only media i consumed to the only thing i did, period.

the fandom became the only people i talked to regularly, other than my family, as online relationships were the only ones possible to maintain. in fableblr and in rin's chat i've found people who i really click with, people whose company i enjoy and who enjoy mine. when i was lying in bed, feeling so alone and less than human, having people on the internet go "i know who you are and you are making an impact," quite frankly, kept me sane. i know i don't talk to people super often, but know that seeing you in my notifs brings me so much joy, and i'd love to talk to you more.

to assuage any worries- i'm doing a bit better now. i've moved back in with my parents so i have human contact and people who can make up for the things i can't do. i have a new doctor who is taking the severity of my condition very seriously and is fighting to get me treated asap. i'll be okay.

so yeah. fable has been super important to me, and will remain so! for me it's a story with so much joy and deep feelings and rediscovery of passions and just. fun. it's been so much fun. and i'm not letting go of that fun any time soon. i'm gonna keep making and watching and enjoying.

to sage, corn, and cob- you guys are great, i cherish every time we get to talk. i hope that it's okay that i count you among my friends

to my other mutuals and people who are here frequently- recognizing you in my notes is such a joy and i hope to get to know you better. y'all are cool and i'm glad you think i'm funny

to rin- thank you for nurturing your little community and creating a space where i have so much fun. also thank you for putting up with my constant setting off of automod

to beck- thank you for making a story that explores sisterhood in all its ugliness and beauty, that shows how even families full of love can fuck up, that holds space for loneliness and loss and joy and fear and new beginnings

to the rest of the cast- thank you for making a story with so many varied and yet connected points, characters and world. with so much love in it. you've truly done something special here and its impact will not be forgotten

to all of you- thank you for knowing my name. thank you for breathing life and joy into these stories. i can't wait to see what else we make. <3

[universallydestinytaco]

A Wild Nerve-Ending on a Friday Night (Oneshot)

*mood music*

Well, tonight is the end of S2, beautiful friends…it’s been a lot of fun. I’d like to thank each and every one of you who made this off the wall, chaotic shitposting journey with us. This blog wouldn’t have been anything without y’all! Hopefully this show left us with some good memes….

So, until S3, I’m gonna keep writing silly little fanfics like this! Stay gold, critters.

….bang. /ref

Inspired by this post from @friendlysmiler

Pim is canonically quite the party animal himself from what we saw in everyone’s favorite episode so who knows what hijinks the little pink imp gets into? XD

Side Note: Bill and Smormu are not only both alive here but they’re a wlw couple here, Bill is a he/him lesbian and Smormu is transfemme and sapphic, because that’s how I roll.

Monday, 7:15am

A fresh start to a brand new week at the Smiling Friends charity has officially began as everyone punched in and awaited their breakfast Alan theatrically-prepared while he channeled his inner Joichiro Yukihira in the breakroom kitchen.

Charlie was scrolling through his phone while smirking at old Rage Comics from over a decade ago with Glep watching on his shoulder and making a similar goofy smirk while Pim happily drew a picture of his co-workers in colored pencils to stick onto the fridge while quietly singing a song from one of his comfort shows.

“Take a moment to think of juuuust, flexibility love and truuust~”

Once Pim colored inside the lines, he hopped out of his chair and scurried to the fridge to display his masterpiece. “Excuse me, I’m just going to grab the cheese to melt over our deluxe omelette.” asked Alan in his usual monotone voice while Pim let out a nervous squeak while stepping out of Alan’s way. While Alan grabbed what he needed he inspected Pim’s drawing a with an impressed smile. “I really like your picture here, you even perfectly replicated my scales.”

Pim started excitedly fidgeting his hands as he chirped: “Thank you, Alan, I always find it weird whenever people draw you, they tend to forget or deliberately leave it out. I think your scales are beautiful!” Alan got a bit bashful while trying to stay focused on finding the cheese grater, uttering a somewhat-shaker “Thank you, you’re too kind….damn can’t find it, don’t want to burn the omelette so I’ll just-“ Alan grabbed a knife and precisely peeled thin-layers of cheddar to gently lay on top of the fluffy eggy clouds seasoned with garden-fresh herbs and spring onions.

Charlie couldn’t resist making a cheap shot at his slinky red co-worker: “Hey guys, Alan cut the cheese.”, such was a line that caused him and Glep to burst into laughter as if they where in grade school. Alan, who was serving plates carrying slices of the omelette, wasn’t amused and was tempted to gift the two wisecracking ingrates each an equally-tasteless surprise of pulling a Glep into their food, but took the high-brow road with a classy remark: “Let’s switch the conversation to a topic with actual substance…so, how did everyone’s weekend go?”

Charlie piped up first: “I played through the entirety of this one cool RPG for two days straight then when I finally beat it I celebrated getting wasted at the bar before getting kicked out for starting another brawl and spent all Sunday sleeping off my hangover.” He lifted his right sleeve to reveal the cherry on top: “On the way home I got this bitchin’ tattoo.” Lovingly detailed on Charlie’s arm was a crudely-drawn snake-dragon thing with arms breathing fire.

Alan then turned to Pim, asking: “How was yours?” to which Pim casually replied: “Oh, nothing much, the highlight was me and some friends hanging out at a pool.”

…

Friday, 6:00pm ~ Three Nights Ago…

Pim was sneaking around with a group of familiar faces as the moon hung in the sky like a charm on a bracelet, a chorus of snickering harmonized with the chirping crickets and the hooting owls. They stop at their final destination: the fence barring access to a familiar estate from the common folk….that didn’t stop the wild bunch from helping each other break in by climbing over and slipping through. Greeting the mischievous party was a grandiose pool yard just begging for the crowd to jump in. “Ah, the perks of having connections with an A-List Celebrity….” Pim monologued to himself, before taking his shirts and shorts off revealing underneath was a hot sparkly teal one-piece with a star-shaped hole at the back for his pollywog tail to peek through. Smormu, who wore a pink floral-print bikini under her button-up and capri-pants whispered to Pim: “Are you sure we’re not going to get caught?” Pim replied with a grin: “Don’t worry, love, Mr. Frog’s out and about somewhere, probably at a crummy bar, and probably causing his usual commotions there so he isn’t too concerned with whatever’s happening here.” As Duncan and Dj Spitz set the mood by the former playing a 90s bop out of a retro boombox and the latter breaking out the booze, Everyone stampeded over to the pool in unison, each individual jumping in the cold crisp waters in various amusing ways as the loud victory cry of “GERONIMOOOO!!!!” bursted out of the ever-excitable Filmore’s mouth like a firework into the sky. It was a rip-roaring time with just a hint of good-old-fashioned chaos, just the way Pim liked it.

Just three nights night ago around this time, Pim was uncontrollably sobbing to himself in a pillow over the fact that his fickle sister Amy invited literally everyone she knew to her wedding… except for her ever-loyal and loving baby brother, bragging about having Mr. Frog as a celebrity guest. Sick of crying his eyes out and being excluded from his family’s lives on a daily basis, he figured he could have a celebration of his own! The only downside was his co-workers having plans of their for that weekend, otherwise he would have invited them over for this late-night dive.

“A toast to our dear comrade and member of the Pennsylvania UFO-Hunting Squad, the ever-lovable Pimling!” Bill proposed as he raised his glass, everyone followed suit, chanting Pim’s name, except for a heavily-intoxicated Dj Spitz pounding in his chest and hollering out: “FUCK YEAH ROCK ON LIL PINK MAN!!!” Of course Pim immediately got flustered, his face turned a vivid shade of hot pink as a result of all the positive attention while mustering the confidence to reply until grinning sheepishly and raising his own glass, stuttering: “T-thank you everyone, you’re all too kind…all this hype about little ol’ me.” In a rush off of the praise and the sheer audacity of his actions, he chugged his drink down without a second thought. Everything after that was a string of vague, discombobulated visions of what happened in-between the rest of the night…

Saturday, 5:02am

It was a very early morning when the dizzy, light-headed Pim woke up front-facing the twilight sky melting into daytime, getting up and finding himself floating inside Mr. Frog’s grandiose fountain in front of his house until he immediately snapped out of it upon just noticing the strewn toilet paper and graffiti all over the statue. In a panic, Pim swam out and scurried around looking for everyone else and making sure nobody was left behind, his heart raced discovering more of the shameless if not karmic defilement of Mr. Frog’s property: overturned lawn chairs with one thrown into a window, discarded junk inside the pool and the jacuzzi, more TP strewn around like party streamers and someone’s trunks (presumably Duncan’s) hung like a flagpole like a comical take on a windsock. It seemed everyone except Pim had taken off before sunrise if not gotten arrested. Combined with the panic attack he was getting and the unambiguous symptoms of a hangover reeking havoc on his body, Pim tried to reach for a trash can to stress-vomit until he collapsed and relieved his bile in the jacuzzi. Minutes went by as Pim felt weak like a newborn kitten, prepared for the legal trouble he was about to get himself in if Mr. Frog wasn’t going to maim him Spamtopia-style first….just then a familiar voice rang in Pim’s ears that filled him with relief, Pim’s eyes cracked open as he started upward at a sober Bill holding the hand of his stumbling partner, Smormu. “Morning, buddy, need a hand?” Pim responded without so much words as it was a tired grunt and raising his stubby pink hand to initiate Bill and Smormu helping their friend up. “Let’s hurry and get out of here, unless we wanna throw a party in the county tank.” Bill chuckled.

Later that day saw a double-dose of tea and drama Pim was secretly and gleefully catching up with, from Pim’s mother recanting to Pim how much of a disaster Amy’s wedding was when Mr. Frog showed his ass once again by getting drunk and trashing the place, even spilling red wine on her wedding dress. Then the news that Mr. Frog came home to his place utterly savaged, claiming he’d seek revenge on the purp but considering the type of person he was, everyone assumed that Frog did it himself after coming home from the wedding he was invited too and was too drunk to remember.

Monday, 7:27am

Pim finished with an uproar of laughter from his co-workers plus Mr. Boss, all of them in shock and awe that the one always perceived as the cute little “goody-two-shoes” of the Smiling Friends charity was capable of getting up to some serious frat boy-level shenanigans. Charlie felt as if he wasted his time spending his weekend the same as the last, so he asked his best friend: “Hey Pim, you think I can hang out with you next weekend?” Pim made an innocent pose, putting his finger on his lips as if he was a kid who got caught stealing from a cookie jar. “Well, maybe not same-the-same-place but I know another celebrity’s pool yard to break into! I hear the Krombledashians are hosting the Meep Gala next Saturday…”

[kooki914]

I AM HERE

More incorrect quotes except there’s a few more characters! A few are from me and my friends

~~~

Spade: Never eat the ashes of the dead

Queen: I will

Spade: Nuh uh. I already did. I used them as popcorn seasoning

Queen: FORBIDDEN PEPPER

—

Asgore: Hey guys what should I eat?

Spade: Newborns

—

Spade: Go fuck yourself.

Asgore, smugly (and also probly drunkly): Sure, but only if you watch

—

Toriel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Asgore: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Spade: I'm leaving and I'm taking Queen with me!

Rudy, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

—

Asgore: Team A will consist of myself, Spade, Toriel, and Rudy.

Asgore: Team B will consist of Queen.

—

Toriel: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?

Asgore: Schrödinger's boys.

Spade: FUCK!

Rudy: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?

Queen: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do.

Queen: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

Toriel: ...

Asgore: ...

Spade: ...

Rudy: ...

Queen: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

—

Queen: What makes you all smile?

Toriel: Friends and Family.

Rudy: Snacks.

Spade: Victory and success.

Asgore: Face muscles.

~~

He needs help

~~

Queen: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Rudy: 'Prettiest Smile'

Toriel: 'Nicest Personality'

Spade: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Asgore: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

—

Toriel: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Rudy: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Queen: Drunk.

Spade: Wasted.

Asgore: Dead.

I actually got a bunch of ideas for the monopoly one so I feel the need to expand on it: Rudy takes the role of banker out of necessity, as no one else wants it, not even Queen, who can do all the necessary math in less than a second. Spade tries to cheat at multiple points in time but Rudy and Toriel keep catching him, Asgore is none the wiser. Because of this, Asgore is the first out of the game due to bankruptcy. While Queen's busy laughing at him, she ends up getting ousted from the game too, betrayed by her fellow queen Toriel. Rudy is just playing to survive while Toriel and Spade are at each others throats. Neither of them are letting up. Spade's been in jail more times than he can count but somehow it's not slowing him down. Toriel is beyond pissed. Insults start getting thrown, mostly by Spade. Queen and Asgore get caught in the crossfire. Rudy's the only one still staying at least Somewhat lighthearted with all of this. Then Toriel and Spade start screaming at each other:

In other news here's the yearbook shitpost that I included someone else into as well whom i will post about in the near future I Hope.

And last but not least:

[dsaf-confessions]

yeah, im sorry this is so long. its not meant against you, mod, respect ya for all that you have to put up with here... yeah.

i think a lot of the people coming on here to complain about other peoples opinions need to take a deep breath. you don't have to agree with them. but bashing people in the tags, anonymously sending in that someone's opinion on a fucking rpg maker game that, at its core, is a massive shitpost.

suicide jokes, especially when you dont know the person saying it at all, are not funny. if it isnt a joke and youre really about to kill yourself over a fun little tumblr blog, get help. seriously. i hope you get better and feel okay one day.

somebody who probably lives 12 to 24 hours away from you, by plane, saying they self-ship or ship an oc with a character you find irredeemable is not the end of the fucking world. sure, you may see it as weird, but at the end of the day a surprising amount of this fandom is around about 13, and thats what 13 year olds do. no shade to yall. those of you that i know are great.

i myself am a minor, i only got into the games, and months later, the fandom around my 15th birthday. its easier than some of you want to admit to stay away from the parts of the fandom that arent child appropriate. i dont mean the drugs. drugs arent anyone-appropriate. theyre fucking illegal. shoving an eggplant up someones urethra is also totally outlandish and sounds like it was written by a 5th grader

lets all respect each other for a bit. nobody fucking deserved to get the colossal amounts of anon hate that ive seen soley because of a harmless opinion.

to the adults here who churn out high-quality comics and fics and ask blogs, that i so joyously read, hell yeah! keep doing that, do what you want with it.

to the children, and by that i mean minors okay we are in fact legally considered children, you keep it up too. keep up your ask blogs and fics and fanart and shit that is sometimes so high-quality i assume youre fucking 30 until i check your bio.

yall, collectively, need to learn that at the end of the day people are gonna do what they want with these characters. it doesnt matter if someone draws henry miller in fucking cat ears because hes a fictional guy. have you seen what they do to steve raglan out there, man? its a fucking warzone but instead of explosives everyones firing out furry edits! it doesnt matter if someone ships something you dont like. im not a proshipper, theres lines i personally refuse to cross, but can i do anything about the people who do? no. ive come to terms with that.

ship your weird rarepair who never met in canon. draw your genderswap fanart. make your au askblog. write that fic you think wont be good enough. someone, somewhere, probably loves what youre creating.

the anons here saying shit like "oh im gonna kms over this" and "thats a fucking weird character to like", yall are the same. im sure you arent all vanilla ice-cream on a summers day level basic. youve got your unusual headcanons too.

we really have to let the minors in this fandom be. they arent going anywhere, myself included, because they dont want to. you cant force people out. so be fucking nice instead of making someone feel ashamed because they make jake a she/they or whatever.

holy fuckin shit that is. long. i am so sorry mod. if its too long you dont have to post it lmao

.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Brainrot Housekeeping: Updated Schedule!

Hi friends! I've got a whole message under the cut, but here's the important part regarding this blog's new content schedule:

Saturdays: mini-hcs Sundays: answering asks (& maybe some rambles?) Mondays: full-hc Tuesdays: answering asks (& maybe some shitposts?) Wednesdays: Vesuvia Weekly Thursdays & Fridays: rest

You might see some polls showing up in the next week or so about new content types - if you're interested, feel free to vote! ^.^ More under the cut:

While I haven't hit rock bottom, I've been getting some symptoms of burnout recently and I'd like to avoid completely running myself into the ground XD

This blog has really pushed me to see what kind of creativity I have, especially just how much work I'm able to produce and sustain. I thought I'd get tired and burn out at two months tops, and it's been over and year and I have no immediate plans to stop! However, taking a look at my own system right now, I do think I need to slow down.

To be honest, fanwork isn't something I've been doing a long time - this tumblr blog is the only fandom creative stuff I've ever done! Before that, most of the things I created were originals - music, art, and of course, writing (though I haven't touched my sketchbook/paints in forever and I haven't done any sightreading in years - whoops).

It gets hard to keep your muscles moving when you only move them in one direction. As much as I love writing headcanons for the M6 in response to people's prompts, there is so much else my mind can do that it misses having the space for. Which brings me to the reason for this schedule adjustment - I miss having that creative freedom.

I still greatly enjoy writing headcanons for you guys and participating in the fandom, and I don't plan to stop anytime soon. However, I want to take some time back to get back into frolicking in the stuff my own brain comes up with, and making space for that to grow into something real.

The questions I need to figure out now are 1) how much time is it going to take me to get my full capacity back? and 2) should I keep this as a purely Arcana blog, or expand it for all my creative work?

If you've read this far, you have my sincerest gratitude. I'll see you guys tomorrow :)

Cheers!

brainrot

[jellycreamjammedart]

This might be a risky hot take but

Some of you "Gregory Defenders" are starting to annoy the absolute hell out of me

And this isn't about the "whether Gregory is innocent or guilty" side of the argument you're on, but about how obnoxious and unhinged some of y'all are about it regardless of the "side" you're on.

Not everyone in the fandom is going to like Gregory, nor will everyone see him as innocent. Some may even say he's a cold and manipulative backstabber, or that he's only popular because of "male protag privilege". And you know what, that's actually all okay and valid. And you know why?

Because Gregory is not real.

"He's only like 12!!!!" he's not real.

"He's just a child!!!" he's not real.

"He's not guilty he was brainwashed!!" he's not real.

"He's only trying to protect himself he doesn't deserve hate!!!" Let people dislike/hate him if they want, it won't affect Gregory at all because he's not real.

It's not like people are bullying a real child. He's a fictional character, in case y'all ever forgot that detail.

Actually no, I am SURE y'all forgot that detail, with how you treat people who dislike him as if it was an actual moral issue and paint them as evil for not sharing your image of your perfect cinnamon roll gremlin boy.

"How DARE you say Gregory's not innocent? How can you HATE him he's just a kid!!! It's not his fault STOP punishing him!!! How evil do you have to be to blame a literal child!!!? You're disgusting!!!" HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL.

Where in the fucking hell is it okay to label a person as evil or bully them for like, liking Cassie (another fictional character in case you also forgot) over Gregory??

Yes this also goes to y'all who approach people unprompted to tell them like a lawyer why Gregory is not to blame, especially with how condescending and obnoxious you are about it, pretty much reeking the vibe of "I'm telling you how wrong you are for blaming Gregory because you're clearly stupid for not believing otherwise, here's why I'm right and why my vision of this character is the correct one."

I'm sick of "Gregory defense lawyers" coming to my inbox after my ramblings about Cassie blaming Gregory for the elevator drop all condenscendingly like "Ummm actually you can't do that because Gregory is innocent it was all the Mimic in case you missed the details blah blah-" did I fucking ask???

(Unless people seem confused or are new to the fandom and they ask, then you may be entitled to tell them... but I still suggest being unbiased and focusing on canon aspects only rather than your personal opinion about it.)

Don't even get me started on y'all's flat out hostility towards people who don't like Gregory

"If you think Gregory did anything wrong ever I'LL FUCKING FIGHT YOU" is this really all that necessary to protect a kid that doesn't even exist??? Is it worth ending friendships or snuffing out potential new friendships with other real people over??? Worth bullying and witch-hunting other real people whose only apparent crime was loving the same franchise as you? How can you be proud of that?

(Unless you mean you will fight people in that memey or shitpost way then idc keep being a silly little guy actually)

"But I adore Gregory, and he's my favorite character!! It makes me really upset when people hate him/make art/write about him being guilty or blamed, or say Cassie is better! I don't agree with it!!" ... then why are you making yourself upset by checking out content about Gregory that you don't like? Like... dude.

People are going to create stuff about Gregory (or any other fictional character really,) that won't always align with you. And they're entitled to do it, no matter how wrong you think they are! Instead of policing what other people create about your blorbo, just look away and seek content about them that you actually like. If a particular creator's vision on Gregory is too much of a deal-breaker for you, just block and blacklist and move on. Or create the content you want yourself instead of badgering other people.

Also keep in mind that Gregory being antagonized in a fic/art/etc doesn't always translate to the authors hating him, chances are they're just writting it from other characters' perspectives who may have whatever beef with him in the given setting, so don't go jumping to conclusions either. And even if the antagonism does come from the author's personal bias, that still gives you no right to harrass them anyways.

I will continue liking Cassie over Gregory and I do think she's better and I will continue rambling about Cassie hating Gregory for believing he betrayed her even if it was the Mimic, because it is an interesting scenario, and I personally think the whole GGY thing was dumb and unnecessary (he could still have been an interesting character as just an unlucky homeless boy without any sinister plot-twist.) That's it; There's no fucking need to make it about morality, ffs. If you don't like that, ignore it, or unfollow me if it's that much of a deal-breaker for you.

All y'all are doing is giving reasonable Gregory fans a bad name, and actually making people dislike him further by oversaturating him and forcing him into a source of stress and disdain rather than enjoyment for them, where people start actually getting sick of seeing him around (and I feel that myself already.)

Let people dislike Gregory for whatever reason.

By the way...

You "Gregory Haters" are annoying me as well

As entitled as you are to your opinion about this annoying manipulative liar of a brat, there are people who share a different sentiment about him. Let them.

You don't have to reblog or comment on someone's post how much they adore Gregory to tell why you hate him, or go to the spaces of Gregory fans to spew why you hate so much this little guy they like. That's just fucking mean and rude. Make your own post, or go to the spaces that share your opinion.

Quit making people feel bad for liking a character you dislike. If you don't like Gregory, why are you even bothering to check out content about him, then? Check out content about characters you LIKE. I bet that'd make you much happier than spending your time regurgitating your hate over someone's creation about a character they like but you don't and unsurprisingly start an argument about it. Look for things you like, block and blacklist stuff and people about your hated character if you gotta but leave them alone

Let people like Gregory for whatever reason, too.

Let people see Gregory however way they see fit.

Because this bears repeating: He's not real. He's a fictional character. He's a tool. Let people use him however way they see fit to drive a story or scenario; that's his purpose, as a fictional character.

[tboyblogger]

finally finished the profile for the danseiroido!! this took way too long just because drawing anime headshot is my biggest nightmare... and then ended up not even looking That anime LOL... i've already had a few comics up in the tag (search em to read!) but. a brief intro is that i basically just made them idols (somewhat) and threw them in the same boygroup to write sitcom/4-koma slice of life random jokes, as i always do! they also share the same universe with my entire vocaloid neighborhood setup (but this will - might - be for another day)

there isnt a deep overarching plot as for now, its just daily lives of a boygroup that doesnt really do anything idol-like and occasionally featuring others around them from the vocal synth ville. oh and idk if i can call them a polycule because they dont really think or operate that way But! i do want all of them to fool around and have their own "ship moment" (if you want to call it that? i dont really label these things and i want to write it that way) tldr they all fuck one another. every single ship in the group canon (EXCEPT the obvious anyone x len. timeout for him he got his ass kicked out whenever they do it...)

my concept/idea for it (not much tbh this is just me rediscovering my love for vocaloid - though one can argue it never went away - and started make up random shits for them so its pretty much spontaneous and not a serious project or anything) is a parody of sort on stereotypical otome/bl genres and boygroups and anime tropes and obviously the vocaloid fandom/history. but i dont think i know enough about bl nor anime nor boygroups so at the end of the day its just guys hanging out XD hm i should just tag my other vocaloid stuff something else too considering its an elaborated world now, with these guys in it, but... that... really is for another day...

wait forgot to say also making len the leader is idk vocaloid meta funny or sth since hes the most popular but here hes just a wee child not even allowed to getting involved much (to be fair its cause most of the involvement are either freakish or sexual. or both) hes already more than involved in the irl success go away little boy. but Boom! funny ass kid leading army of 6 gay ass men (one of them isnt even a man. but only when its convenient) (sometimes there are 7 of them)

also: everyone learn vietnamese to understand how funny their viet names are rn

SORRY I KEEP EDITING. but they also have a playlist... just for funsies. some of them are serious canon lore related the rest are probably all shitposts