#Green Toad Pocket

[overthemoonminerals]

Fluorite from the Green Toad Pocket of the Lady Annabella Mine in Weardale, England

[sendandburn]

An analysis of Severus Snape as a teacher

"Three things always come up in the context of Snape’s abusiveness. One of them is not something Snape does but a reaction to him.

1. Threatened to Poison Neville’s Toad

This is one of two direct interactions between Snape and Neville in the books. Since it merits real-time narration, it must stand out: Snape is at his worst at this moment.

A particularly nasty mood is understandable:

“have you heard? Daily Prophet this morning — they reckon Sirius Black’s been sighted.” “Where?” [...] “Not too far from here,” said Seamus.

Snape believes that Black betrayed the Potters and wants to go after Harry. Black also nearly murdered Snape in their fifth year, so Snape has reason to be on edge.

His potion, which was supposed to be a bright, acid green, had turned — “Orange, Longbottom,” said Snape, ladling some up and allowing it to splash back into the cauldron, so that everyone could see [Harry assumes]. “Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn’t you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn’t I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?” Neville was pink and trembling. He looked as though he was on the verge of tears. “Please, sir,” said Hermione, “please, I could help Neville put it right —” “I don’t remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger,” said Snape coldly, and Hermione went as pink as Neville. “Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.”

Not great. Snape is not a suitable teacher for an introductory class, or for insecure children like Neville, but abusive, this is not. The fact that Neville brought Trevor to class shows that Neville never expected to be very severely sanctioned for doing that or for Trevor to come to any harm, before that lesson. Snape is at the end of his rope with Neville and wants him to take the lesson seriously. He states his motives plainly - to get Neville to understand.

Did he mean harm to Trevor? Snape is competent enough that if he’d wanted that toad dead, it would be. In any case, the potion turned out alright, and Snape knew it - he can tell from the way the potion looks. Snape also has a bottle of the antidote in his other pocket:

Snape picked up Trevor the toad in his left hand and dipped a small spoon into Neville’s potion, which was now green. He trickled a few drops down Trevor’s throat. There was a moment of hushed silence, in which Trevor gulped; then there was a small pop, and Trevor the tadpole was wriggling in Snape’s palm. The Gryffindors burst into applause. Snape, looking sour, pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robe, poured a few drops on top of Trevor, and he reappeared suddenly, fully grown.

Is he sour because he hoped to kill Trevor? Why give it the antidote, thus saving it? Maybe he is sour for the reason he says he is:

“I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed.”

This is also why he docks five points, not because Neville got it right. This was a misguided attempt to teach. Nothing was ever going to happen to Trevor.

[Sidenote: Animal cruelty is commonplace at Hogwarts. sentient or semi-sentient animals are experimented on regularly in Transfig. They even vanish cats. Even the herbology plants seem able to feel pain, but 2nd year students are expected to chop up humanoid mandrakes. Flitwick demonstrates levitation on Trevor, and Harry practices Accio on him.] " (

hree things always come up in the context of Snape’s abusiveness. One of them is not something Snape does but a reaction to him.

1. Threatened to Poison Neville’s Toad

This is one of two direct interactions between Snape and Neville in the books. Since it merits real-time narration, it must stand out: Snape is at his worst at this moment.

A particularly nasty mood is understandable:

“have you heard? Daily Prophet this morning — they reckon Sirius Black’s been sighted.” “Where?” [...] “Not too far from here,” said Seamus.

Snape believes that Black betrayed the Potters and wants to go after Harry. Black also nearly murdered Snape in their fifth year, so Snape has reason to be on edge.

His potion, which was supposed to be a bright, acid green, had turned — “Orange, Longbottom,” said Snape, ladling some up and allowing it to splash back into the cauldron, so that everyone could see [Harry assumes]. “Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn’t you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn’t I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?” Neville was pink and trembling. He looked as though he was on the verge of tears. “Please, sir,” said Hermione, “please, I could help Neville put it right —” “I don’t remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger,” said Snape coldly, and Hermione went as pink as Neville. “Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.”

Not great. Snape is not a suitable teacher for an introductory class, or for insecure children like Neville, but abusive, this is not. The fact that Neville brought Trevor to class shows that Neville never expected to be very severely sanctioned for doing that or for Trevor to come to any harm, before that lesson. Snape is at the end of his rope with Neville and wants him to take the lesson seriously. He states his motives plainly - to get Neville to understand.

Did he mean harm to Trevor? Snape is competent enough that if he’d wanted that toad dead, it would be. In any case, the potion turned out alright, and Snape knew it - he can tell from the way the potion looks. Snape also has a bottle of the antidote in his other pocket:

Snape picked up Trevor the toad in his left hand and dipped a small spoon into Neville’s potion, which was now green. He trickled a few drops down Trevor’s throat. There was a moment of hushed silence, in which Trevor gulped; then there was a small pop, and Trevor the tadpole was wriggling in Snape’s palm. The Gryffindors burst into applause. Snape, looking sour, pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robe, poured a few drops on top of Trevor, and he reappeared suddenly, fully grown.

Is he sour because he hoped to kill Trevor? Why give it the antidote, thus saving it? Maybe��he is sour for the reason he says he is:

“I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed.”

This is also why he docks five points, not because Neville got it right. This was a misguided attempt to teach. Nothing was ever going to happen to Trevor.

[Sidenote: Animal cruelty is commonplace at Hogwarts. sentient or semi-sentient animals are experimented on regularly in Transfig. They even vanish cats. Even the herbology plants seem able to feel pain, but 2nd year students are expected to chop up humanoid mandrakes. Flitwick demonstrates levitation on Trevor, and Harry practices Accio on him.]

Let's be clear here: putting the wrong number of spleens into a potion suggests someone who either doesn't consider the instructions to be important, or simply doesn't care.

Something else to consider is just how dangerous someone like Neville is to the class. In university, one of the requirements for my degree was Organic Chemistry, which contained a large lab portion to it. Organic Chemistry, for those who don't know, is chemistry that focuses on carbon-containing compounds, which includes things like oils and chloroform. To put it mildly, it's dangerous. Many of the compounds used are either explosive, or are placed in potentially explosive situations. Many of the chemicals are directly dangerous all on their own, too.

Rules in that lab were particularly strict, they have to be, because one wrong move could end disastrously. Case in point, one of the experiments involved a type of round bottom flask which were needed to heat a set of chemicals in. Critically, the pressure had to be relieved from the flask. The instructor told us what happened in a prior class when someone had failed to do so: it exploded, and everyone in the lab was lucky none of the glass had cut anyone. That particular person was ejected from the lab for it, and with good reason.

Potion class seems just as dangerous at the end of the day, perhaps more so since unlike chemistry where adding different amounts of ingredients is more likely to cause the reaction to fail, people like Neville appear to be able to produce something, it's just something that's likely to be toxic or have completely unexpected effects. We know from the books that producing an antidote to a blended toxin is a complicated, almost quantum endeavour, I shudder to think what you need to do to properly reverse or mitigate the effects of a poorly blended potion are.

Similarly, Snape isn't being cruel when he docks points for Hermione's successful recovery of Neville's toxic potion, because in actuality what we see here is an academic offense; Neville is essentially presenting someone else's work as his own." (reddit)

Plus, bringing a pet to class always causes problems,specially if it is to the wixen equivalent of a chemistry class.

Granted his bad mood does not in any way excuse or justify his actions towards neville but it does help explain them.

2. Neville’s Boggart

"True, his boggart is Snape.

This does not mean that Snape is truly scary. (assuming Snape is scary because Neville fears him because he is scary is circular reasoning). His fear of Snape is not overwhelming or traumatizing. Neville’s fear is on par with Ron’s fear of spiders (which itself was caused by the twins, who are much scarier), Dean’s fear of hands, etc.

If Snape had been abusive, other students would not have found this funny, and Neville would not have smiled. If the fear had been overwhelming, Neville would not have defeated the boggart on his first try.

Neville looked around rather wildly, as though begging someone to help him, then said, in barely more than a whisper, “Professor Snape.” Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically. Professor Lupin, however, looked thoughtful. “Professor Snape... hmmm… Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?” “Er — yes,” said Neville nervously. “But — I don’t want the boggart to turn into her either.”

Neville seems more scared of admitting he fears Snape than of Snape. He does not want to confront his grandmother either, probably because, like Snape, she makes him feel inadequate, which is what really scares him. But she should have loved Neville unconditionally and not compared him to his parents, and Snape is his teacher, whose job it is to let him know when he is doing poorly.

Neville defeats his Snape boggart on his first attempt because it’s a trivial fear. Molly, an adult witch and the bad-ass who killed Bellatrix, fails to beat her boggart, in OOTP, because there’s nothing trivial about her fear of losing her husband or her children.

Snape is listed among the meaningless boggarts the kids defeated with ease:

“Did you see me take that banshee?” shouted Seamus. “And the hand!” said Dean, waving his own around. “And Snape in that hat!” “And my mummy!”

This is the textbook definition of a boggart:

Hermione put up her hand. “It’s a shape-shifter,” she said. “It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most.” “Couldn’t have put it better myself,” said Professor Lupin.

The boggart is whatever’s on your mind, not your true deepest, darkest fear (unless Ron is a monster for fearing spiders when just last year, he nearly lost Ginny). POA already introduces a creature that actually makes you relive your worst moments - Dementors. Introducing two creatures that do essentially the same thing is redundant. Snape’s on Neville’s mind because this lesson immediately follows the toad scene.

If that does not convince you: Hermione’s boggart is McGonagall (but actually, failure).

An out-of-universe explanation for Neville’s fear of Snape is that his parents’ story, just like the Cruciatus curse, did not exist at the time of writing the boggart scene. You’d think Draco would tease Neville about it, if it had existed by POA.

This passage is from GOF, after the lesson about unforgivables, in which Neville was clearly thinking about his parents:

“What was that?” said Seamus Finnigan, staring at the egg as Harry slammed it shut again. “Sounded like a banshee... Maybe you’ve got to get past one of those next, Harry!” “It was someone being tortured!” said Neville, who had gone very white and spilled sausage rolls all over the floor. “You’re going to have to fight the Cruciatus Curse!”

This scene shows that Harry is unlike the rest of his classmates because his fears are real and serious. It provides comic relief, because the big meanie is in drag. It’s the beginning of Neville’s arc from someone who fears Snape in Y3 to someone who leads the DA in Y7 and fears nothing. It hints at the Snape-Marauders relationship. It’s used to make Snape’s behavior in the werewolf lesson seem petty and vindictive, to obfuscate the fact that it actually takes place right after Sirius infiltrates the castle for the first time, which is what’s actually bothering him.

In conclusion, the boggart says nothing about Snape, only about Neville.

3. I see no difference

In context:

“And what is all this noise about?” said a soft, deadly voice. Snape had arrived. The Slytherins clamored to give their explanations; Snape pointed a long yellow finger at Malfoy and said, “Explain.” “Potter attacked me, sir —” “We attacked each other at the same time!” Harry shouted. “— and he hit Goyle — look —” Snape examined Goyle, whose face now resembled something that would have been at home in a book on poisonous fungi. “Hospital wing, Goyle,” Snape said calmly. “Malfoy got Hermione!” Ron said. “Look!” He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth — she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape’s back. Snape looked coldly [as opposed to his usual smirk/smile, when he enjoys whatever he’s saying. Also, what’s the difference between being “calm” and being “cold”? Harry is awful at reading people, and at reading Snape in particular] at Hermione, then said, “I see no difference.” Hermione let out a whimper; her eyes filled with tears.

Snape is demanding an explanation from Malfoy, not the trio. Harry admits that both of them attacked each other. You’d think Snape will never miss an opportunity to punish Harry, who attacked his favorite, right? Wrong. He sends Goyle to the hospital wing calmly, despite Goyle being in pretty bad shape. Ron seems to expect Snape to be helpful, otherwise, why does he direct his attention to Hermione? The Slytherin girls hide their giggling from Snape, as if expecting him to discipline them if he sees them. But he simply says he sees no difference. Why is he acting this way, so out of character? Because at this point, in GOF, the Dark Mark is already growing darker and Voldemort is coming back. Snape will soon have to resume his spying role. He cannot act like he otherwise would have, which is to punish everyone, including the Death Eaters’ children - he is downplaying the whole thing to avoid punishing anyone.

Did he absolutely have to mock Hermione? No. Does he ever do that in any other context? No. It was an easy way to demonstrate his hatred of Harry and supposed disdain for his Muggle-born friend, when he needed to reinforce that image of himself.

Some resentment is understandable: Hermione had set Snape on fire, stolen from him, and slammed him against a wall, knocking him unconscious. That she gets away with a mean-spirited comment indicates that he doesn’t hate her.

He wasn’t even necessarily thinking of her teeth. He might have meant “ISND between what Malfoy did to you, and what Potter did to Goyle”, “ISND between what I told Goyle to do, and what you should do”. We know he can insult her outright when he wants to, and nothing stopped JKR from writing “your teeth look the same as yesterday.”

Maybe he was thinking about how, just a few chapters previously, McGonagall had watched Moody torture Draco, and instead of asking Draco how he was feeling (redundant question, since he was visibly in pain, but it would have been her duty nonetheless), and sending him to the Hospital Wing, she had allowed Moody to drag him away for more punishment, meaning it was she who had set the precedent that students in obvious distress can be dismissed.

She gets over this comment instantly. She even defends Snape later in the same book, and up until he kills Dumbledore.

Snape is definitely an asshole. Here are other bad things he does:

The first Potions lesson: calls Neville an idiot and then accuses Harry of not helping Neville because he wanted to look good. Absurd.

“Longbottom causes devastation with the simplest spells. We’ll be sending what’s left of Finch-Fletchley up to the hospital wing in a matchbox.” Hilarious, but ouch!

Calls Hermione an insufferable-know-it-all (which she was), following several more civilized attempts to shut her up.

Reading the article about Harry in front of everyone, when the Trio is discussing it in class instead of working, then separating them, ordering Harry to sit next to him, and taking the opportunity to taunt him, culminating in calling Harry a “nasty little boy” and threatening to use Veritaserum on him. This is clearly an empty threat, or Snape would have simply slipped him some without warning him, like Umbridge (not that the legilimens needed to).

Doesn’t punish the Slytherin who hexed Alicia Spinnet before the big Quidditch game (McG before that: “I’ve become accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in my study, boys, and I really don’t want to have to hand it over to Professor Snape, so use the extra time [from the lack of homework] to practice, won’t you?”

In the first occlumency lesson, calls Harry a lamentable potions maker (irrelevant and uncalled for), as well as implicitly calling him stupid: “The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter… or at least, most minds are.” Why should Harry know how legilimency works? He’s never heard of it. Even that can be explained away, though: Voldemort might be spying on the lesson through Harry’s eyes.

When escorting Harry from the train to the school in HBP, he calls Tonk’s Patronus weak, and needles Harry. He accuses Harry of only wanting attention: “I suppose you wanted to make an entrance, did you?” Then he says this: “No cloak. You can walk in so that everyone sees you, which is what you wanted, I’m sure.” Make up your mind, Snape.

When Harry says ghosts are transparent: “Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter.” When Ron points out that this is the most useful way to tell ghosts and inferi apart, because inferi are solid, he says this: “I would expect nothing more sophisticated from you, Ronald Weasley, the boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room.” Possible explanation: Harry and Ron were publicly discussing Snape’s and Fletcher’s involvement in the Order, so shutting them up was imperative.

That’s 9 things, so with the toad scene and ISND, that’s 11 bad things Snape does to students, in 6 years. Snape is the teacher we spend the most time with, so we get a large enough sample to have an accurate impression of him. All of his transgressions are insults of varying severity, and that’s it.

He’s rude to everyone, not just his inferiors: Tonks and Sirius, fellow Order members, Bellatrix, a “fellow” Death Eater, and even Dumbledore, his superior in every way. Yes, he should have been gentler with students. He is harsh, unkind, strict, impatient, and overbearing, but not bullying or abusive.

His treatment of Harry is truly unfair. He projects the trauma James had caused him onto Harry, which is completely undeserved (but he also protects Harry out of guilt and love for Lily, which is also, strictly speaking, undeserved). Snape doesn’t see Harry for who he is, but even that is not as superficial as it seems, and it’s not entirely the result of Snape’s “immaturity” (i.e., long-term trauma).

PS: When they first make eye-contact, both of them are set on the wrong path because of Quirrell. Harry feels a pain when Snape is looking at him, pulls a face, and continues to stare at Snape. The legilimens might be sensing Voldemort in him. Harry then sasses at him in the very first lesson, and nearly knocks him off his broom.

COS: Harry arrives at school by flying car, launches a seemingly random attack on Slytherins, the appears to be encouraging the snake to attack Justin.

POA: Harry displays recklessness truly worthy of his father, sneaking off to Hogsmeade, throwing snowballs at Malfoy, lying about it

GOF: Harry becomes the center of attention. Snape resents this, as do Ron and Sprout. Twice, the legilimens is looking into Harry’s eyes while Harry is fantasizing about hurting him.

OOTP: Harry violates Snape’s privacy and endangers him, Snape does not know that Harry regrets the whole thing. He also catches Harry at this:

“What are you doing, Potter?” said Snape coldly as ever, as he strode over to the four of them. “I’m trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy, sir,” said Harry fiercely. Snape stared at him.

This must have been flashback-inducing. What we see as fiercely, Snape sees as vicious.

6. HBP: Harry hexes people at random, including Filch, and worst of all, Snape catches Harry casting Sectumsempra on Draco.

Snape has a disincentive to try with Harry: He knows he will return to Voldemort as a spy. The cover story is, “I thought Voldemort was finished, and that Harry did it.” Becoming buds with Harry would have been inexplicable; becoming buds with Harry and then NOT using that to deliver Harry to Voldemort (i.e., what BCJ has done) - unforgivable. Snape relied heavily on half-truths and misdirection but there was one thing he could be honest with Voldemort about: He hates Harry with a passion. That, ironically, helped him protect Harry.

FWIW, I believe the memory of Snape ranting about Harry, and Dumbledore dismissing Snape and telling him he’s wrong, is included as an apology.

Snape’s three biggest victims are Harry, who names a child after him; Hermione, who doesn’t mind him and even likes him; and Neville, who clearly got over it with ease.

Dumbledore will never fire Snape. He has a free pass to be as cruel as he wants, because he has a cover to keep. Other than the DADA teachers and Hagrid, he is the least experienced, and he is the youngest by far except for, briefly, Lockhard and Lupin. Hogwarts is a site of lifelong trauma for him. Since he is so young, some of his students probably saw or heard about him being publicly humiliated. It also meant that he was initially barely older than some of the students' siblings, so he had to cultivate a very strict persona to control his classroom.

Hence, if you find judging teachers’ conduct in a children’s book a worthwhile pursuit (I don’t think it is, but here we are), Snape should be judged less harshly, not more harshly.

He has no incentive to dial down his cruelty and a wealth of excuses for being cruel, so the cruelty we see in him is the worst he could do, despite being under extreme stress. Yet it is limited to sarcastic remarks, docked points, and mild detentions.

He never lays a hand or a wand on a student, except when pulling Harry out of the Pensieve and then blowing up a jar over his head. Pulling him out was obviously justified - Harry not only violated his privacy and humiliated him, he also risked showing Voldemort classified memories. I believe that if he had wanted the jar to hit Harry, it would have, and he missed on purpose. He never takes advantage of his position over students or his relationship with them, and his punishments are never dangerous.

But he is biased, right?

Not as biased as people think. He has issues with the Trio+Neville, but not other Gryffs, or with students in other houses. He assigns zero house points, including to Slytherins, and his deductions are rarely substantial. He does not bend the rules to get a 1st year student on the Quidditch team, and he does not give 170 last minute points.

Unlike points, grades do matter, and he grades fairly:

According to Lucius in COS, Hermione beat Draco in every test, including potions:

“I would have thought you’d be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam,” snapped Mr. Malfoy.

Harry expects Snape to grade him fairly, when he tries:

Determined not to give Snape an excuse to fail him this lesson, Harry read and reread every line of instructions on the blackboard at least three times before acting on them.

Harry does fail. This is the Strengthening Solution they work on over two lessons. In the second lesson, Harry isn’t paying attention because he is too busy listening in on Umbridge’s interrogation.

Except the bit where Harry's vial breaks, there is no evidence that he grades unfairly. This was petty, but Hermione is the one who vanished the rest of the potion and prevented him from being able to turn in a second sample.

At the end of the lesson he scooped some of the potion into a flask, corked it, and took it up to Snape’s desk for marking, feeling that he might at last have scraped an E. He had just turned away when he heard a smashing noise; [...] His potion sample lay in pieces on the floor, and Snape was watching him with a look of gloating pleasure. “Whoops,” he said softly. “Another zero, then, Potter…” Harry was too incensed to speak. He strode back to his cauldron, intending to fill another flask and force Snape to mark it, but saw to his horror that the rest of the contents had vanished. “I’m sorry!” said Hermione.

This is after Harry views SWM. Assuming Snape did this on purpose (we don’t know), he might have been vindictive or he might have been putting on a show of it because Voldemort was watching through Harry’s eyes.

Snape appears unfair in the sense that when Harry does poorly, he receives poorer grades than he deserves (in Harry’s opinion), but when Harry does well, he expects to be graded fairly (OOTP29). Specifically, Harry complains that Snape grades only him unfairly, and not Ron or Neville, meaning that the issue is with Harry and not with all Gryffindors (OOTP12+15).

Snape’s bias shows only in that he does not punish his own students for their wrongdoings on-page. However, Slytherins wait until Snape’s back is turned to misbehave, and that includes Draco, Snape’s favorite:

In the ISND incident, Pansy and her friends giggle behind Snape’s back.

Draco flashes his Potter Stinks badges when Snape’s attention is directed elsewhere.

Draco taunts Harry with his “remedial potions?!” jeer when Snape isn’t looking.

Right before the toad incident, Draco was pretending to be badly hurt, and pointed out to Snape that Ron (who was sitting next to him and whom Snape had asked to help Draco) wasn’t helping him properly. Draco lowers his voice to admit he pretends to be hurt partly because it means Snape will have someone help him.

They routinely bother to hide their nastiness, because they expect some sort of sanction. McGonagall sends Slytherin transgressors to Snape for punishment, meaning she expects him to handle them.

Snape also assigns Crabbe and Goyle detentions liberally to make sure they “pass their DADA OWLs”. This is also done to thwart Draco’s attempts to kill Dumbledore, but nobody is surprised at this.

Snape is a very effective teacher and the students don’t all hate him

In Y2, Snape teaches students about Polyjuice Potion, which exceeds the curriculum requirements. Umbridge’s objective is to discredit Dumbledore’s hires, but even she recognizes that his class is advanced. Snape constantly explains to the students what they did wrong, even if Harry calls this bullying. His exam pass rate is high: The trio earns two Es and one O even though Harry and Ron don’t care about the subject. Snape is an effective, albeit very imperfect, teacher (Harry, Ron, and Hermione all earn the same grade in Potions as they do in Charms and Transfiguration; Neville can be deduced to have passed his Potions and his Transfiguration OWLs with an A).

He only admits O students into his NEWT potions class, whereas Minerva is “very pleased” with Harry’s E. This is not as restrictive as it sounds:

This is the composition of Harry’s 6th year Potions class:

The four Slytherins took a table together, as did the four Ravenclaws. This left Harry, Ron, and Hermione to share a table with Ernie.

Everyone but Harry and Ron had earned Os, because they all had the textbook already. That’s at least 10 out of 28* students in Harry’s year who got the highest grade.

*There is some debate about the size of Harry’s year. I’m only counting students who have names.

25 out of 25 eligible students take DADA with Snape in their 6th year:

”Before we start, I want your dementor essays,” said Snape, waving his wand carelessly, so that twenty-five scrolls of parchment soared into the air and landed in a neat pile on his desk.

The missing ones are Crabbe and Goyle, who failed their OWLs, and Abbott, who left.

Neville definitely took DADA with Snape:

Typically, ten minutes into the lesson Hermione managed to repel Neville’s muttered JellyLegs Jinx, a feat that would surely have earned her twenty points for Gryffindor from any reasonable teacher.

Harry whines, but note that Snape doesn’t take points from Neville for muttering, either.

That’s how unbiased students talk about Snape:

“Harry,” Ernie said [...], “didn’t get a chance to speak in Defense Against The Dark Arts this morning. Good lesson, I thought.”

Safety is his top priority

Snape:

stops Ron from hitting Draco

Upon hearing that a student had been taken into the Chamber - he was distressed enough that he had to grab a chair "very hard" (even though his Slytherins alone were not in danger)

is the one who nags Lupin to drink his potion in POA, and not the other way around

runs into the Shrieking Shack to face Black and Lupin on the full moon to save the trio

when the egg starts screaming in GOF, runs toward the sound of someone screaming as though they’re being tortured in the middle of the night

Supplies Umbridge with fake Veritaserum

Orders Harry to release Neville when he thinks Ron and Harry are fighting him

Saves Neville from being choked by Crabbe

Runs toward a woman screaming in the middle of an occlumency lesson (it’s Trelawney getting fired)

Makes an unbreakable vow to protect Draco, keeps it

Runs toward Myrtle’s cries of a murder, not knowing who was hurt or how and what danger he might face there

Steers Hermione+Luna out of harm’s way before the Astronomy Tower battle

After killing Dumbledore, he stops Death Eaters from Cruciating Harry when Harry confronts him. Harry tries to curse Snape, including an attempt at Crucio, yet Snape risks breaking cover to spare Harry pain

He is the one Dumbledore assigned to keep students safe during DH. Snape did not have to stay at Hogwarts at that point, both of them knew Harry won't be attending next year, so this had nothing to do with the original mission, Dumbledore just trusted him this much, and rightly so - nobody is reported to have died during Snape's year as headmaster, which is more than can be said for Dumbledore. Within this, he Sent the silver trio to Hagrid as a form of "punishment" for trying to steal the sword.

Only in one of these cases is Harry even in the picture (that Snape knows of before springing into action). I omitted things like saving Harry in PS. In one case, he leaves Harry to go see what’s going on. Also not included are multiple instances of Snape saving students at no risk to himself or to his cover, by brewing potions or using his Dark Arts expertise (COS, HBP). His attempts to save adult characters are not included either.

“Her [the Doe Patronus’s] presence had meant safety.” (r/harrypotter on reddit)

Note: the writer of this post said it the the title that Snape is the best teacher at Hogwarts, wich i frankly do not agree with as, despite being a master in his subjects and prioritizing safety, Snape comes of as unaproachable to his students wich causes strugling students like Neville to go to peers for help instead of him, wich is far from ideal.

[dark-elf-writes]

“Slytherin isnt bad,” the red headed boy on the train says to Harry. “My brother Percy is one. According to my other brothers Fred and George, nobody does anything without his say so.” Ron grind. “Malfoy is in for a sore surprise when he gets in and they don’t just pander to him. Bet he’s expecting it.”

Percy, who stopped by to check on his youngest brother and summoned Neville’s toad. Who had offered to place a small spell on their door to prevent people who just wanted to see the Boy Who Lived from finding them.

(Percy who looked at his youngest brother and saw a badger instead of a lion. Who'd already pulled the twins aside before to tell them it didn't matter where they went. Who had been the first to clap when two redheads went to Ravenclaw, their love of knowledge even it was to learn to prank leading them.)

Its a different Harry sitting under that hat.

(sorry couldn't resist)

Harry who gets support and care from the moment he meets the Weasleys.

Who makes a friend over a pile of junk food and failed spells. Who laughs so hard he nearly chokes on a chocolate frog when Ron makes a face at whatever terrible flavor of bean he got. Who is still feeling light and bubbly with joy when they talk about houses and Harry confesses he’s heard some… things from Hagrid that he didn’t know how to feel about (as kind as Hagrid had been, Harry had never trusted a word from an adult’s mouth. Adults lied all the time whether on purpose or because they had lied to theirselves so much that they tricked themselves into thinking they knew the truth. Adults had lied about him for years after all, accused him of things he didn’t do or called him bad for things that Dudley made up. Why would he trust them?).

Ron, surprisingly, gets serious at his words. Sits up straight and looks at him with those deep blue eyes and a smudge of dirt on his nose.

“No house is all good or all bad. My brother told me that, and he’s pretty much always right. Percy has been in Slytherin for years and he’s not dark or evil or whatever. He still holds Gin when she cries and fusses when I try to eat dessert before dinner. ‘S just a place, innit? Places don’t make you bad just by being places.” The serious mask cracks and suddenly Ron looks just as impish as his brother had when they had been yelling about toilet seats. “‘Sides, Percy is there. If anyone could turn a bad place good it’s him. Even tossers like Malfoy won’t stand a chance against him.”

Harry isn’t so sure how one person could make an entire house good (the train was bloody massive and if even a forth of the people on it were Slytherins what was still a lot of bloody Slytherins). Or at least, he wasn’t until he met Percy Weasley.

He was already in his robes, perfectly pressed and unapologetically green around the edges as he eased their door open. He takes in the sight of them, still red faced with joy and surrounded by sweets and wrappers alike, before tossing a wrapped sandwich (different from the smashed one Ron had pulled form his pocket earlier, perfectly preserved with Ron’s name written on it in a meticulous hand) to Ron with a pointed look.

“Eat something of substance, and try not to ruin your dinner, Ronald. Do share with your friend too. The two of you need something other than sugar in you or you will both be sick halfway through dinner.”

Percy didn’t seem evil. A bit fussy maybe, protective certainly after he had headed off a group of giggling older girls whisper Harry’s name and peering into compartments, downright kind when he had helped Neville find his toad and had passed it back to the trembling boy with steady hands and a soft look that screamed older brother. He just seemed like a person. A nice person even. Harry could have picked him and Ron out as brothers even without their matching noses and hair.

Harry thought he liked him. Even if he was getting close to being an adult.

It was Percy’s expression as he handed Neville his toad and Ron’s voice in his ears (“Places don’t make you bad just by being places.”) that Harry held in his mind as the hat fell over his eyes and a voice resonated in his head. An adult voice. Did hats count as adults?

“You would thrive in any house you know,” That voice croons too close and too loud in the space between his ears. Harry was definitely regretting all the pumpkin pasties before dinner now. “But you already seem to have your mind made up.”

Cunning and ambition weren’t bad. Weren’t evil. They had kept him alive after all. Had kept him one step ahead of his relatives and the bullies and everyone else that wanted to hurt him. And places were just places. And Percy Weasley wasn’t evil.

Harry Potter held his head high (not that anyone could tell with the hat dwarfing him) as the hat screamed its decision to the room.

“SLYTHERIN!”

Ron’s voice broke through the stunned silence, hooting and cheering as he jumped around in the dwindling group of unsorted first years. Three more voices joined his, just as delighted, just as kind, just as loud. His brothers from both Slytherin and Ravenclaw, filling the silence with their joy for him. With their celebration of who Harry was despite what others might think. After another heartbeat there were big booming claps from behind him, Hagrid, celebrating him even through his general nervousness around Slytherin.

They were the only ones who cheered. Harry didn’t mind as he handed the hat back and claimed the seat Percy had cleared for him under the heavy eyes of the headmaster and the rest of Hogwarts.

(Harry made sure to cheer just as loud for Ron when he was sorted into Hufflepuff, shouting until his voice strained and Percy nudged a cup of tea toward him with a pointed look and a smile that took away all hear that might have been behind it.)

[nuctoria]

KB as Luigi's toxic ex.

Listen.

Me, @istadris and probably many others who have seen their post have headcanoned that King Boo is Luigi's bitter, toxic ex who is pissed off that he was dumped and wants him back. Last night I came up with a literal timeline of how everything went down from LM1 to LM3 and I want to talk about it.

Lm1: KB was just another villain trying to show superiority, didn't even think Luigi would show up to save his bro and didn't have any traps or plans to defend against him, didn't even think he had to, hence why only the boos and poltergeist were actively aggressive towards Luigi, as it was under KB's command since he didn't want him getting Mario back, who was the actual priced possession at the time. Heck, there weren't even any Toads to save from paintings which shows KB's main goal.

Aftermath: KB is defeated and is shocked that he was defeated by Luigi, the second, shadowed brother of the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom with only a damn vacuum and some tiny elemental spirits he found hidden in the mansion. He wants to be mad but he's more curious and intrigued instead. This then leads him to try and learn more about the green man, heck even getting into Mario Kart, Mario Party and other games like this to try and approach him after hearing that Bowser was invited to these events too (He couldn't get into Smash Bros cause then it'd be too many Mario characters).

Start and end of the relationship: Luigi and KB know each other more personally now and they it ends up with them dating. But, KB is still an egotistical king that wants more power and he finds the purple gem stone that he replaced the red one with and it makes him more insane and aggressive. Luigi is scared and has to break up with him, trying to do so as lightly as possible so KB isn't too hurt emotionally and they can still be friends. Take three guesses on how that went based on LM Dark Moon. KB is furious and in denial, not wanting to let go of Luigi, but when he doesn't succeed he's so enraged that he swears to get revenge for this and keep him forever.

LM Dark Moon: KB learns of the new, docile ghosts that stay calm thanks to the power of the floating crystal called the Dark Moon (which I honestly want to look more into) and shatters it to unleash chaos and gain control over them. By this point, he knew how Luigi was the only one who could actually take on ghosts and boos and that he was more closely associated with EGadd so he was certain that he'd be called to do the job. Also because he kidnapped his brother again. The toads were just there and why not trap them to make it more fun? Afterall, the Toads were proper assholes to Luigi in way too many games so he took this chance to punish them for it. I don't think KB created all these mansions, he just found them and used them as his arenas, letting the ghosts figure out the how each one operated and use it to their advantage, with the boos often keeping them in line to the king's goal at hand. Even so, it was obvious that KB was more focused on doing actual harm to Luigi, with the creatures he created thanks to his new gem, to controlling the ghosts and even cursing the broken pieces of the Dark Moon, to going as far as to open a portal and let so many ghosts in that it nearly lead to the dimension collapsing on itself! All of this in a single night! I also want to point out the part in the scene at Secret Mines, where the boos had the ghosts in those red crystals to make them more powerful, taunting them while they themselves looked scared and trying to free themselves before having all that power forced into them and driving them crazy? That probably gave Luigi PTSD since he went through something similar with a worse outcome. And to top it all off, when he had finally all the pieces and thought he could go back to the lab to prepare to get Mario with probably the help of the ghosts, KB sabotages the camera that pixelated Luigi and went him in a pocket dimension that no one would be able to reach them and he couldn't escape from on his own. Honestly, I loved how they didn't have KB move at all besides him floating and staring at Luigi like that the entire time he mocked him, it made him look way scarier, like the calm anger mixed with menace. KB probably tried to make a deal that he'd let Mario go if he came back to him and ruled the land with him but Luigi refused and the fight started, if he couldn't make Luigi come to him willingly then he'd look lovely in a painting above his throne.

LM3: KB. Has. Lost. It. He is royally pissed and more psychotic than ever. He has become more ruthless and desperate to make Luigi pay before he is captured, knowing he couldn't save anyone, especially his bro and the princess. He was truly lucky he found such a naive ghost to willingly and obediently do anything he asked for and made the hotel probably as luxurious as his own castle as a way to show Luigi that this was the luxury he could have had but won't be able to enjoy now that he controlled ever spec of it. He is set on punishing Luigi in the worse way possible, the bosses using terrifying methods to defeat him, all unique and terrifying. Have you seen the T-Rex one? All ghost bosses had some strategy but that boss fight was immediate with no strategy except brute force and desire to kill. And the hotel is filled with deadly traps, spiked walls that slowly close in on you, locked in a room with deadly gas, axes swinging from the ceiling to slice you, the ceiling being threatened to collapse on you in a slow and torturous way, the list can go on but you get the idea. Luigi is greater danger than he'd ever been and at this point, KB is set on having Luigi alive or dead as long as he's his. He is sick to double-death with him slipping away from him when none of this even needed to happen.

[nixie-writes]

Blitz and Stolas raise reader from an egg

What a way to come back to the dead with a commission I received from @thebattlecats2001 a little while back. This will probably be in queue for a while so Idk when this will post.

Blitz found himself in Greed once again, digging through the leftovers of his utter destruction of LooLoo Land to find something worth the effort. He passed by several tubs full of green liquid he didn’t have the guts to touch. Along his travels through the construction center he spied imps at the border of Notamafiatown, cornering an unlucky imp who probably didn’t pay back their loan or something. He turned to have deniability and ignored the cries and gunshots; he wasn’t here to witness a murder. Instead he reached his hand into some old junk and pulled out a long gun with a few rounds still inside. 

He was observing the old Tommy gun when he noticed, from the corner of his eye, a small bag fall over. Bags don’t move on their own. Approaching the sentient bag he found it had the unmistakable Mammon logo on it, and inside was something shivering. He reconsidered his options with this bag. Did he need to open it? What if he found a half dead body in there? At the same time, he could also find money or other valuables. He wasn’t quite sure. Abandoning his hesitance he grabbed the bag. 

Opening the bag he was met with a trembling egg. It was white with red spots adorning it. Digging around he saw the egg was in a poorly built little basket filled with rocks and soft blankets. Before he pulled out of the bag he spied a small sheet of paper and, examining it closer, found it was a letter. Swiping the letter from the bag he glanced across the words, taking in the details. 

To Whoever Finds This,

This is my egg, my baby. I can no longer care for it; I’m sick and frail. The father insisted we leave the egg outside for a loving family to find. Please be kind to my egg, it’s all I have and I have to let it go. Thank you. 

Blitz sighed to himself. Only he would find himself in this dilemma. Tucking the letter in his pocket he wrapped his tail around the egg and lifted it up, carrying it with him away from what used to be LooLoo Land. He gently sat it in the seat next to him and started up his little car, driving away. 

Upon arriving home, Blitz gently laid the egg on his bed. He had no idea what the hell to do with it. Loona would be home soon and she’d probably tell him to just take it to an orphanage. He didn’t exactly want to do that. He felt a little bad for the egg. It had no home, no parents, it was out on its luck. 

Pulling together some blankets and a heating pad he got the egg all comfy to maybe help it stop shivering. It didn’t seem to help but at least the poor thing was warm. He was trying to find out what it may be when he was interrupted by a familiar ringtone on his phone. He answered and put the phone to his ear. “Hey Stolas,” he greeted in a distracted voice. 

“Blitzy!” a jovial voice greeted him. Blitz listened to Stolas as he gave a rundown of his day, talking about the fun he and Octavia had at a local fair and how he won Via a stuffed bear. They certainly seemed to be a happy family. Blitz couldn’t help but think that this egg he found deserved that much at least. Then it clicked in his mind. 

“Hey, Stolas,” he prompted over the phone. “Not to be weird but, I found this egg that’s definitely alive and it has no family. Think you can take it? I sure as hell can’t.” His offer was met by a squeal of delight. “I’ll take that as a yes; see you in twenty.”

Arriving at the palace with egg in tow Blitz sat in Stolas’ room, waiting for him to come in. As he waited he took glimpses at the books Stolas collected. He had many about plants and herbs, a few about toads in specific, and one book that stuck out to him - a book about pirates. It was heartwarming to know Stolas remembered his childhood fascination with pirates and even got a book about them just so the two could have something to talk about. 

Stolas entered the room with two cups of coffee, one in each hand. He offered Blitz a cup and sat down across from him. “So this is the egg you mentioned?” he asked, pointing to the egg Blitz had brought in. Blitz nodded his head; “yep, that’s the little one. Think you can take it in?” Stolas hummed. “I could but, it needs two parents to have a healthy childhood and I don’t think Stella meets the criteria. You have experience raising kids, who do you think would be a good co-parent?” 

Blitz scoffed. “Me, duh! Tell you what, I’ll come by every day before going home and check on the little guy before going home. I’m busy but I can work that into my schedule. Then once it hatches, I can move in. Good deal?” Blitz held out a hand to shake. Stolas took his hand and shook it. “Now to break this to Octavia…” Stolas hummed. “I leave that to you,” Blitz laughed awkwardly. 

** Time Skip **

Stolas yawned, flipping open a newspaper using his magic and skimming through everything on the pages. Blitz sat at the table, sipping a cup of coffee and doodling some horses. Octavia stood near the fridge, feeding the carnivorous plant a T-Bone steak. It was a seemingly quiet morning…Almost too quiet. 

“Has anyone seen [Y/N]?” Octavia asked when she’d finished feeding the plant. Blitz shrugged, not looking up from his paper. “I dunno, haven’t seen him since I woke up.” Stolas hummed. “I would imagine he’s still asleep,” he suggested. 

Octavia sighed and left the kitchen, looking around for [Y/N]. She took a peek in each open room and found nothing. She searched the play room and was met with nothing but strewn out toys and markers next to an open coloring book of horses he and Blithad been coloring the night before. She was beginning to worry. It wasn’t until she looked in her room again she was met with the sight of her red-feathered little brother. “[Y/N]! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

You climbed off her bed, a coloring book under your feathery arm. “Hi sissy! Look at my coloring book!” You held up your book of horses to Octavia and she smiled at your crudely colored pictures. You weren’t yet old enough to color in the lines and you didn’t seem interested in learning when Octavia tried teaching you. It was hard to distinguish between your drawings and Blitz’s drawings. 

Pointing at a horse you’d colored you announced, “this is Stapler!” Octavia laughed and patted you on the head. Scooping you up in her arms she headed back to the kitchen where Stolas and Blitz were. “I found our little artist,” she announced as she sat you down. You made a break to Blitz, your feathers fluffed up in excitement. “Look, look! I drew Stapler!” You squealed, shoving the coloring book in Blitz’s face. 

“Yeah, I see that. Way to go, champ!” Blitz congratulated, patting you on the head. You giggled, turning to Stolas. “Can we read the book about pirates again?” you inquired, bouncing up and down. “Of course my little captain,” Stolas agreed. You fist pumped the air, squeaking in excitement. “All right!” You squealed. Octavia giggled from the entrance to the kitchen. 

Approaching Stolas Octavia spoke in a soft voice. “Things have been a lot better since Blitz brought that egg,” she mused. Stolas nodded in agreement. “When you have a child you’ll understand the appeal,” Stolas promised. 

[majordemonblockparty]

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!! i’m going to be devious and ask for multiple…👑🧑‍🧑‍🧒🦎

your wish, my command ;) apologies dear lizzy @according2thelore as two of your three emojis ended up as more concept art that realized fic and not a single one was five sentences 😬 but 🤷‍♀️ here we go!

👨‍👨‍👦 (Bobby/Rufus murder husbands au) warning ⚠️ there is mention of physical injury as a result of parental abuse below 👇 not graphic, but it is mentioned:

It's not the first or fourth or even fourteenth time Bobby's come home from the store/bank/bar to find twin ratty army-green surplus duffles and their equally ratty owners dumped on his porch, but it's the first time Sam's bolted down the driveway to get his head halfway through the window before Bobby's even stopped the car, his bird-wing shoulders tucked tight to his ears and a frown carved deep between his eyebrows.

"Whoa, bud," Bobby chuckles, fighting the urge to reach down and iron out the worried crease of Sam's forehead with his thumb. "Where's the fire?"

"Please," Sam blurts, "You gotta take Dean to urgent care."

Christamighty. Never, ever a dull day with these boys around.

"Wha'samatter with Dean?"

Sam gives him this strange, long look, eyes sharp as he studies Bobby, flicking back and forth like he's reading the lines on Bobby's face, hands gripping the half-open window glass hard enough that his little knuckles stand out bloodless-white.

"Dad broke his arm," he finally says, and Bobby's lungs about fall through to his feet.

👑 Actual Child Boy King of Hell au:

Most animals will avoid Sam, but some John has to practically beat back with a stick. Toads flock to Sam, to the point where Dean refers to him solely as "my liege, the toad king" the entire summer they're five and nine. John's gotten real used to checking the pockets of Sam's jackets and jeans for toads, snakes, small rodents, large spiders and the like -- he once found a frickin' bat in the front bib pocket of Sam's overalls. John used to think that the buzzards wheeling overhead on the interstate were just a byproduct of driving through open country -- lots of fields and forest and ditches; plenty of places for carrion to pile up -- but he's watched them leave a carcass to follow his car for miles, like a personal, feathery storm cloud.

Dogs, on the other hand, don't like Sam… which is a problem ™ because Sam loves dogs. When he's about eight, John comes back from four long days of tracking a hodag to find his boys on opposite sides of the motel parking lot, lobbing a muddy tennis ball (and just where in the hell did they dig that up, he wonders) back and forth to a dog.

A god-damned dog whose tongue lolls out when he delivers the ball to Sam's feet and Sam drops into a crouch to scrub his hands through the dog's fur, giggling as it licks him from chin to hairline. John's pissed as hell at first (didn't I teach you better than that? you don't mess around with strays -- fuck's sake, Sam; he could be rabid, did you stop for one second and think about that?) but the dog just… won't leave. John refuses to let it into the motel room (though he can smell that it's been inside the last few nights, at least), but it's still there in the morning when he goes to settle up with the motel manager, laid across the doorway on the sidewalk outside like the world's most unwelcome welcome-mat.

Even leaving it behind in Wisconsin doesn't work -- despite the waterworks from Sam and the guilty-mad stares Dean keeps shooting him from the backseat, they leave Bones where the boys found him… only to have him turn up in Illinois a few days after they do. It's a same pattern for close to a month -- they leave the dog in a parking lot, and he turns up outside their door a few days later -- until Dean comes to John and begs him either to let Sam keep the damn dog, or just shoot it outright the next time it appears, before Sam sees it and gets his hopes up again. (It's not that John doesn't consider putting the thing down… but he's starting to suspect that he might not be able to if he tried.)

So Bones gets a collar with John's burner number inscribed and goes to the veterinary clinic, where the vet tells John the dog's temperature ran their digital thermometer off the scale and then broke it. ("There's no way your dog's temperature is over 600 degrees," the vet tells John as they watch the boys in the waiting room loving up Bones with belly rubs and scritchies. "But that's what the readouts keep showing, and we've killed three thermometers trying to get an accurate number. He doesn't seem feverish, though, and he's perfectly active and alert; so we'll give him his vaccines and call it good, I guess.")

If Bones had heard, he'd probably have just given John and the vet both a big toothy doggy grin; he's a hellhound, for shit's sake, of course his normal temp registers in the mid-660's. He might look like a mid-sized herding dog, but that's strictly for Sam's convenience.

🦎 Dæmon/HMD au

Dean should've known. Dean -- of all the people in all the world -- should've fucking known.

He just -- it wasn't something he'd wanted to look at head-on. When they'd come back from hell -- when Cas had put them back together piece by painstaking piece -- whatever had Settled him and Ari as a golden eagle back in the spring of '86 had come loose in the reconstruction.

They were an eagle for over a decade, and then they were dead, and then they weren't dead anymore, but they weren't an eagle, either.

So when Sam was suddenly vertical and conscious and back from hell, too, without Meara at his side in her usual coyote shape, Dean didn't look too close, at first. Before they'd Settled, she and Sam used to love all kinds of smaller forms -- a moth, hidden in the nest of Sam's hair, a tiny ribbon snake under the cuff of his hoodie, or a pygmy bat tucked inside the collar of his t-shirt -- and Dean... Dean wanted so badly to believe that between being literally Unsettled and regular, run-of-the-mill unsettled by the whole thing, maybe they're just lying low, recalibrating to a dæmon that changed shape at will.

(But he should've known. By the sound alone that Ari made when she first saw Sam -- just Sam; Sam like they'd never seen him before; Sam without Meara -- he should've fucking known Sam had come back without his soul.)

[delightfuldevin]

Bowsario AU fic (No Title cause I’m bad at titles)

Summary: With super powered villains creeping up all over the world, it was obvious for Mario that he wanted to get into the hero business. Most other heroes had powers of their own, too, but Mario would just have to make do with the temporary magic granted to him by the mysterious plants he tended to. What happens, then, when his face strikes fear into not just the villains he fights, but even the civilians he tries to save? How is he meant to be a hero when he's associated with one of the most powerful villains in the world?

Silly little au thing that popped into my brain as soon as I saw this prompt and I had to write it. I didn’t know how to end it so apologies that it just sorta cuts off. Also I hc Mario to be semi verbal, so he doesn’t speak in this. It’s hard to write characters who don’t speak (as someone who talks a lot lmao) so bear with me here,,

***

Mario is easily the most well known hero around here. Sure, he had a rough start being the new guy in a big city, but once he proved his capabilities, everyone would come to him for just about anything. He's an inspiration to all, having graduated top of his class from one of the most prestigious hero academies without any natural born powers at all. Turns out, all you really need is a green thumb and the right kind of seeds. Those "fire flowers" of his can pack just as much a punch as any pyromancer.

"Ready to head out, bro?" Mario smiles as his younger twin throws his arm over his shoulder. Luigi had attended the academy with him and, against all odds, graduated with a score just under his. He always knew his brother could make it with him, even if no one else did, even Luigi himself. The guy doesn't know his own strength, but Mario does. After living in the city for the first few years after graduating, the brothers decided to move back to their hometown. If they were going to make a difference in the world, they wanted to start in the place they call home.

The plane ride was uneventful, and soon enough they're in the airport of their hometown. "Say, you think Peach will remember us?" Luigi asks absently as they wait for their luggage on the conveyor belt. Why wouldn't she, Mario thinks to himself. It's only been six years since they saw her last. If she did forget them, he'd definitely give her an earful about it. Suddenly, they hear a scream.

"Help! Somebody stop him!" A masked Beanish man runs through the airport, carrying a bag as a Toad woman chases after him. She was the one who had screamed before, still calling after him. Easily coming to a conclusion, Mario jumps into action, stopping the Beanish man in his tracks.

"Out of the way, red! No one stops Popple the Shadow Thief!" This guy seems weak enough, so Mario readies to fight him with his bare hands, leaving the fire flowers in his pocket. "Oh, you wanna tussle, ey? Fine then! I'll pummel ya and take whatever ya got, too!" This Popple fellow seemed not to have gotten a good look at Mario's face before, because once he does, he suddenly starts trembling, shrinking back from him.

"W-wait a second, you're–!" He pauses and puts the Toad woman's bag down on the floor slowly, hands up as if trying to appease a wild beast. "S-sorry about this, truly! I-I didn't mean none of what I said to ya, I swear!" And just like that, Popple runs off at an even higher speed than when he was trying to escape the woman in the first place.

Eyebrow raised in confusion, Mario stoops down to pick up the bag and walks it over to its owner. "Oh, thank you so much, kind sir." Mario smiles as she cranes her neck up to look at him, her short stature preventing her from seeing him properly. But the second she sees his face, her eyes widen enough to pop out of her skull and she lets out a terrified squeak, hurrying away from him. Okay, what happened with that thief was odd, but this was even stranger. He had just helped her; why did she look so afraid of him? He turns over to Luigi, who had dragged both their bags over to him.

"Well, that was weird... right?" Still dumbfounded, Mario grabs his bag from Luigi and the two of them make their way out of the airport.

The rest of their short walk to their old home went quite the same as their time in the airport. The second anyone got a good look at Mario's face, they'd run away in terror. "Maybe you'd make a better villain instead, bro!" Luigi jokes as he unlocks the door to their house. Mario knows he means it lightheartedly, but it does get to him a bit. Why was he garnering such a reaction from everyone around him? He hadn't been around for six years, and he was only the kindest and sweetest to everyone before he left. Maybe some bad rumors spread about him while he was gone... But how did that happen?

"Hey, cheer up!" Luigi exclaims, noticing how his "joke" hadn't gone over so well. "Let's go see Peach! She doesn't know we're back in town yet!" He pats Mario's back, and the older twin forces a smile. For a brief moment, he worries that Peach will react the same way as everyone else, but he knows that wouldn't happen. She knows him better than anyone...

One of the upsides about having a best friend who's royalty is that you don't have to put in any effort to remember where they live. After all, how could you miss the giant marble castle standing proudly at the edge of the town? Mario ignores the stares he gets as he and Luigi walk through town and to the front of the castle. The Toad guards in front smile as Luigi approaches, but, like everyone else, freeze up when they see Mario.

"H-halt! Y-you... you can't come in here...!" The guards try to put on brave faces, speaking as firmly as possible, but their trembling voices aren't very convincing.

"Hey hey, easy, pals," Luigi tries, hands out to show he's not a threat. "We're friends of the Princess. Tell her Mario and Luigi are here to see her. She'll vouch for us!"

"Uh, okay, wait here then," the green Toad says, eying the brothers suspiciously.

"No, I wanna go tell her!" the purple Toad whisper-shouts.

"I'll tell her! You stay here!"

"I don't wanna stay here with him!"

"Shut up and deal with it! I'll be right back!" Before the purple Toad could retaliate again, the green one goes into the castle. Mario keeps up a smile as they wait, hoping to calm the purple Toad's nerves, but it doesn't seem to be working. Though it feels like hours pass, it must've only been a few minutes when they hear the Princess's voice on the other side of the door.

"I understand your concern, Toadsworth, but if a villain is polite enough to wait at my door before attacking, I'm willing to hear them out." The door swings open as the Princess, the green Toad guard, and a brown elderly Toad come out, though the elderly Toad immediately slides behind the Princess's dress in fear. "Maybe it's not as bad as it–" She pauses as her eyes fall upon the twins. Again, Mario fears the worst. But then, her mouth spreads into a wide grin, turning up her eyelids and making her cheeks plump.

"Oh my gosh!" She throws her arms around them, pulling them both against her. "Why didn't you tell me you guys were coming back today?! I would've planned something!"

"Nice to see you, too, Princess," Luigi laughs, returning her hug. With all the weird reactions he's been getting lately, Mario is taken aback to actually be receiving a warm welcome. But he smiles sincerely, laughing too, as he squeezes her as tight as he can. Peach loosens her grip on them, turning to look at the green Toad guard.

"Now why would you tell me there was a villain at my door when it was my two best friends I haven't seen in years?" Mario's smile begins to fall hearing that.

"W-well, y'know... On account of his association with... him..." Association with who? So he was right about there being some rumor about him, but what was it and why?

“Uh, Princess… What’s going on?” Luigi asks. “Ever since we arrived, everyone’s been giving Mario weird looks, and what’s this about him being a villain?!”

“News probably hasn’t spread to the city you were studying in. It did happen somewhat recently…” Peach sighs, bringing her hand to her forehead. Then, she smiles brightly, going to stand between the brothers and wrapping her arms in theirs. “Let’s go inside and have a seat. I’ll explain everything. Toadsworth!” The old brown Toad flinches upon hearing his name, still uneasy in Mario’s presence. “Be a dear and prepare us some tea, will you?”

“C-certainly, Your Highness!” The old Toad wastes no time, spinning on his heels and hurrying back inside, eager to make himself scarce. Meanwhile, Peach leads her best friends to the sitting room, which is the first room on the right when entering through the castle’s front door. They sit on the plush dark pink couches, remaining in antsy silence as Toadsworth returns with the requested tea.

Toadsworth’s hands tremble as he pours the tea. Luigi smiles and thanks him and he nods in response, but at Mario’s smile, the old Toad flinches again, nearly dropping the teapot. “Oh, for Stars’ sake, Toadsworth! Get over it!” Peach finally exclaims. “It’s Mario! You know him! He’s been my best friend since we were infants!“

“Y-yes, of course… F-forgive me.” Peach sighs again in exasperation, taking a sip of her tea before continuing to the brothers.

“So, as you might’ve guessed, a lot has happened since you went away to study. Goodness, where to start… Do you guys remember Bowser?” Mario and Luigi exchange unsure glances. “He went to high school with us? He was an exchange student from the Koopa Kingdom.” Again, the brothers exchange looks, before a metaphorical lightbulb goes off in Luigi’s head.

“Oh, right yeah! Remember, bro? He used to always pick fights with you?” That’s when Mario’s memory comes back as well. Bowser, huh… He was a strange guy. From the minute he arrived at the school, he seemed like trouble. He’d always try to insert himself into any situation, like he just had to be the center of attention. He’d even tried to get Peach to go out with him, despite knowing every guy in school had their eyes on her and would most definitely fight him over her.

But by far the strangest thing about him was the fact that he’d keep trying to antagonize Mario somehow. At first, Mario thought it was because he was friends with Peach, but Bowser never targeted Luigi and even after Peach made it clear she wasn’t going to date anyone, he would still try to bother him. At first, he’d really try to pick fist fights with him, but then it started devolving into silly little pranks that an elementary kid would do, like putting a jack-in-the-box in his locker or filling his shoes with candy during gym.

“Yeah, well, after graduation, right after you guys left, he returned to the Koopa Kingdom,” Peach continues. “I don’t know how it happened, but somehow he overthrew the Koopa King and he’s been ruling the kingdom ever since.”

“Uh… good for him…?” Luigi says with a shrug, confusion in his tone and on his face. “But what does he have to do with Mario?”

“He’s also become the most dangerous villain on the continent, and his power is only growing stronger. And after he ascended to the throne, he announced publicly that he’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt Mario.” Both brothers nearly choke on their tea. No wonder everyone thinks Mario is associated with a villain, but why would Bowser go to such lengths? It’s not like they were even friends. If anything, it seemed like Bowser couldn’t even stand being in the same room as him. “Well, he did have that little crush on you in high school, but I didn’t think he’d go this far…” Mario barely registers what the Princess just said, but when he does, his eyes go wide and he freezes up.

It’s obvious that Mario would be surprised about someone he went to school with becoming a powerful villain, but Peach soon realizes that that’s not the only thing that surprises him. “…I take it from your reaction that you didn’t know about his crush, huh?” Mario can only shake his head slowly, eyes still wide. “You knew, right, Luigi?”

“I mean, I didn’t guess it was a crush per se, but I could definitely tell he had some kinda complex goin’ on with my bro.”

“I would’ve said something, but I thought you already knew and were purposefully ignoring all the weird stuff he kept doing to get your attention. In any case, that’s the long and short of it. It didn’t take long for everyone’s perception of you to change. Even if it was clear you were aspiring to become a hero, the second Bowser announced any kind of relation to you, everyone became scared of your return.”

Once he recovers from the shock, Mario’s expression changes to that of determination. He’s going to become a hero no matter what, and his first step from here must be confronting Bowser. He hasn’t seen him in years and he wouldn’t even know what to say, but he has to go clear all of this up. He can’t become a hero if everyone is afraid of even being in his presence. So, he stands up and places his tea cup down on the table. There’s no time to lose. It’s off to the Koopa Kingdom with him.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

My serious answer on who Reader's companion in into the Unknown is Scott or Kurt. Both give off older and younger brother vibes. Scott would be a very good straight man to the weird and fantastical things going on, while Kurt is excitable and would continously think something is cool until he is reminded yet again that this place is dangerous and bloodthirsty before screaming.

My Crack answer is Lance, Peter, or Toad because they would be miserable and very vocal about it as they regularly get their butts kicked, and I think that's funny.

Ahaha! All good answers!

Scott would be worried, annoyed, and listing every problem with the world around them. He is hugging Reader at night though, and will fight off a Beast or Witch or Harvest Lord for them. He carries an ax or knife with him (he's wearing a sweater with a pumpkin or birds on it-)

Kurt would keep touching everything, from the black turtles and black birds and black roots and flowers, he's messing around with any sticks or teigs or pieces of candy or food he finds, and is talking the entire time. Reader has to save him from a soul-eating creature, and Kurt is hugging them, shaking, and apologizing. Poor guy is trying to make the best of a bad situation, and he tries to entertain himself amd Reader, it just goes wrong 7/10 times (he's wearing a blue sweater, tan pants, and possibly is wearing a witch's hat or cape, carries a bird companion with them, their version of Beatrice thr Blue Bird)

If it was Lance, poor guy is over it. Nope. No. No way. He did NOT sign up for spooky little towns or demons or the thing that sings in the woods at night. He wants out. He also happens to get into trouble, be it stepping in a pumpkin, having to walk in the rain, or falling flat into mud or a river. Reader is offering him a hand, they're giving him a handkerchief, and they're trying to steer him away from the woods (he's wearing a brown coat with black boots, he was carrying a rock in his pocket)

If it was Todd, oh my... This guy is shrieking, running away, amd using Reader as a shield between him and the frightening creature in the dark (it was a cat, thank heavens-). He hops in the puddles, he carries a frog or toad plush with him, and he's trying to joke and make Reader laugh while not breaking down that they're in a place thats creepy as h*ck (is wearing a frog sweater in pale greens and yellows, has brown jeans or pants, carries a frog/toad plush that gets a lot of names)

If it was Pietro, he's talking every second about how miserable he is. Seriously, where are they, why is it so cold and autumn-vintage-looking, where is some food, are they there yet, why couldn't it be anywhere else, did they hear something singing, wait, is that a bird- Reader is letting him run ahead and check for danger, while they go along with what he says, hoping it calms him down some. Reader tosses fruits and rocks between the two of them in a game of catch as they walk, hoping it takes his mind off their situation (he's wearing a fluffy sweater in pale blues and white, has white or pale tan pants, had a bird necklace on)

(Haha, I love it, @sugar-soda! They're all trying to make do with what they have, it's just hard when you're two kids stuck in the Unknown trying to find a way home (and there's no telephone) with a chill in their bones (are they truly alone?) )

[vehicularmanslaater]

pocket monster aus for owlphibia

team explanations under the cut

luz:

oshawott/hisuian samurott- otter and otter with a dark side

misdreavus/mismagius- both based on magic/ witches

chinchou/lanturn-the lures look like the light glyph

snorunt/glaile-ice glyph

tangela/tangrowth- the plant glyph is usually associated with vines

raboot/cinderace- she discovered the fire glyph while playing grudgby and thats basically the bi version of soccer

the noibat’s king btw

anne:

froakie- frog that is blue

honedge- singular sword that is blue

yanmega- drag-anne-fly and its like the giant dragonflies in the intro

morelull, dewpider, and phantump just fit the swamp environment

sashy:

cyndaquill- i wanted the three of them to have starters of different types and corresponding to their colors and i was willing to give them shinies to do so but the only currently pink shiny fire starter is chimchar and didnt want to give her one so i just combined the gen 2 shiny cyndaquill and the modern cyndaquill

doublade- duo of swords that are pink

seismatoad- theres not that many toad pokemon

tinkatuff- pink with a ponytail and its evolution has similar hair as s3 sasha and a big hammer

toxtricity- looks like her punk rock battle of the bands outfit

ceruledge- idk man it has 2 swords

marcy:

rowlet- i wanted to give them pokemon to represent each of their weapons and decidueye has a bow

quagsire- based on a giant salamander like Andrias

vivillion(garden pattern)- her battle of the bands outfit was butterfly themed and garden pattern is the the most aesthetically pleasing green one

parasect- looks like the giant mushroom buildings in newtopia, and it fits amphibia’s enviornment

bisharp- it's based on chess and marcy’s head of the chess club at school

corsola- newtopia has a lot of coral

[overthemoonminerals]

Fluorite from the Green Toad Pocket of the Lady Annabella Mine in Weardale, England

The Green Toad Pocket was discovered in July 2021 and was named for a toad found on the pocket the morning it was discovered, though a lot of the fluorite from this pocket has a rather "toady" appearance!

[aria-diary]

LONG WAY HOME

Lying in the meadow green Dangling legs in a mountain stream From the limb, we could jump right in Again and again and again and again

Up in the orchard on the hill Sat right down and had our fill And though the clouds are touched with gray We know no rain will fall today

So let's take the long way home And circle round the standing stone Through the fields and the old bar way We fill our pockets up with pecan along the way

All along the railroad track Slip off that rail, break your back Hear the sound of the croaking toad The sun so round, and red, and low

Summertime, summertime Summertime must yield to fall That's what hurts me most of all Summertime, summertime

Said goodbye at the garden wall From the house, I can hear my mama callin' Winter come to us all, my friend Just as every childhood has an end

Ray Lamontagne

[dragon-fly34]

The protective group of Mareach AU (Episode 1, part 1)

It was a beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom, it was like a normal day, but it was about to change, Mario and Peach were in the garden, they were both sitting in the garden looking at the sky, when Toadette arrived with a tray of tea:

“- Hello princess! Do you and Mario want a tea? said the little mushroom"

"-Of course my friend, let's go Mario?" asked the princess, getting up from the garden

"Of course princess!" replied the plumber, getting up

The two sat at a table in the castle's courtyard, Toadette served tea for the princess and the plumber, but she noticed a green cap and orange glasses in a bush, she was so close to the bush that she didn't hear Peach:

"-Toadette? Can you hear me?"

"- What? Yes, I'm sorry, I was thinking about some things and I didn't even listen to you"

"- Alright my friend, now you can leave" Peach said, taking the cup of tea

Toadette took the tray and went to the castle kitchen, she was still wondering what was that she had seen in the bush and remembered that days ago she saw a crown appearing Daisy's and a Toad spying on Mario and Peach.

After she left the kitchen, she went out a little and saw Luigi and Yoshi looking at some photos, she got curious and decided to go and see.

“-Hi boys! What are you looking at?” asked the little mushroom

Yoshi and Luigi were scared by Toadette and hid the photos.

"-Anything!" Yoshi replied

"-We're just looking at some photos of Peach's castle" Luigi said, putting the photos in his pocket

"-We have to go now... bye!" Said Yoshi almost sweating

the two left leaving Toadette curious and wondering what they were looking at, then followed the two, destiny arrived at Yoshi's house, the two boys went in, but Toadette managed to get in and hid under the table.

The boys were getting ready for a date at Yoshi's house, Toadette continued to see what they were doing, after an hour, Daisy , Donkey Kong and Toad arrived

"-Welcome to TPGM!" Said Luigi "Let's set up a meeting because we have something very important to talk about!"

"Luigi and I discovered that Bowser sent some koopas to disrupt Mario and Peach's meeting" Said Yoshi, showing some photos

"So that's what they were looking at in the photos!" whispered Toadette while listening to everything under the table "So they were the ones watching Mario and Peach today"

"-Then we have to stop the koopas!" Daisy replied, getting up "We have to do everything to make sure they stay together!"

At that time Toadette got a little too close to hear the conversation that she didn't even notice that she was almost being seen by Donkey Kong

"- Guys, that's under the table , isn't that Toadette?" The monkey asked, leaning over to the sofa

Curious Luigi got up and cowered under the sofa and saw Toadette, at that time the mushroom came out of the table.

End of 1º part of 1ª chapter!

[hsmtmts-arrows]

Camp Shallow Lake

Jet looked on at the faded sign as he listened to Kourt on the phone. She was taking little Mo to her soccer game, Jet would meet them at the field, once he collected their youngest from camp.

Jet had called ahead to ask Dewey for permission to steal away his child to attend her sister's soccer tournament. The old man still ran the camp with all the enthusiasm of a toad in winter, claiming he was happy to be rid of the gremlin for the day.

"hey, Kourt? Monique plays in game 2 right?" He asked as he spotted his daughter coming out of the Honeycomb.

"yeah? Is there traffic?"

"no, no traffic, I think we just need to take a detour"

"......today? Are you sure?"

"yeah, I think so."

".....ok, see you soon"

Jet pocketed the phone and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Hey Squirt! Come over here!"

"DADDY!"

Jet laughed as he stumbled back with his daughter. She took the opportunity to scramble onto his shoulders, resting her head on his.

"Soccer game!"

"Soon kiddo, Dad needs to show you something first"

And with that, they began the short hike to the old Susan Fine shrine, long since decommissioned and overgrown. No amount of time on earth could erase the path from behind his eyes though. Looking around, he could almost make out the shape of his own frolicking and chasing. Following the spirit of his childhood here, he trekked forward.

Past that stone, around that tree, down this ledge, before long the clearing appeared, flat stones stacked in the middle, just as they were years ago, if a little more mossy.

"Dad?.......Forest?"

He looked to where he had placed his daughter. He'd entertained her along the way with trivia about the flora and fauna around them. But she had a knack for reading him, always had. Just another similarity to list.

The nature of children lends to plenty of comparisons, her mother's skin, his hair, her Grammy Greene's taste in music.....

But those eyes.....those eyes gazed back at him now just as they did twenty years ago. Asking to explain, he's acting different than usual. He didn't answer them then.....

.

.

.

Today he will. As he gently took her hand and directed her around the stone pile, to the backside that housed a new stone. Clean and sturdy, not stained by the Ash from the fire that closed the camp for two years. Each inch meticulously and lovingly carved and cleaned, so that the inscription is as clear now as the day it was placed. He looked at her namesake.

"Maddie......this is your Aunt"

OH WHAT FHE FUCK WHY DID I UUST READ THIS I-

[fanfiction-butterfree]

THE NANNY NAMED LUIGI

CHAPTER II: Airplanes and Early mornings

Koopa Man: This is your pilot speaking. Thank you for flying Air Goomba. We should be arriving at Shadow City International Airport in just under 5 hours. The skies are relatively clear so we expect only a slight amount of turbulence. 

Luigi sighed as he stared out of the airplane window. In just 7 hours he'd be at Bowser's Castle to act as the nanny for the Koopalings and their brother Bowser Junior. He still didn't know how his brother managed to convince him to take the job. Then again he hadn't managed to get a job since he'd been fired by his fiance, so maybe he was just open to any suggestion.  

Goomba Steward: The emergency exits are located there and there. 

The goomba gestured towards the orange colored emergency exits.

The green dressed Mario brother looked around the cabin. 

There were Toads on their way to vacation. 

Business Koopas on their way home. 

Humans who would transfer to a plane headed to the Luncheon Kingdom for a wedding. 

And a few others whose goals varied from migration to a short vacation. 

As the plane's engines revved up, and the fasten seatbelt sign went on, the emerald clad human closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep before he arrived at his destination. 

The means people used to travel in this world were as diverse as the beings that inhabited it. 

There were cars, bicycles, motorcycles, and hot air balloons. Trams, buses, trains, and blimps. There were planes, ships, koopa copters, and spaceships. There were things I had yet to mention and that most people of our world had yet to imagine. 

But of all the methods used to traverse distances, the most famous was the warp pipe. A technological marvel that could get you from A to B in a fraction of the time it took all but the fastest commercial planes. 

It was, sadly, also the least comfortable, most expensive to build, and hardest to maintain form of transportation. Which is why it was generally only built when money was no option. Such as in certain government buildings so doctors, politicians, military, aid workers, and refugees could easily get to an allied nation or a nearby province. Or temporarily in the case sporting events, or kidnappings. 

Teenage Male Koopa: GIMME THAT! 

Slightly Younger Male Koopa: NO IT'S MINE! 

Teenage Male Koopa: YOU DON'T EVEN USE IT! 

Much Younger Male Koopa: I'M TELLING DAD!

Bowser woke up like he did every morning to the sound of his children arguing over something. 

Teenage Male Koopa & Slightly Younger Male Koopa: DON'T YOU DARE!! 

Much Younger Male Koopa: DAD! 

In this case the argument was between three of his least favorite kids. 

Even Younger Male Koopa: IGGY AND LEMMY ARE FIGHTING AGAIN! 

Iggy & Lemmy: SHUT UP LARRY!

Larry started crying

Bowser: KNOCK IT OFF OR I'M SENDING YOU ALL TO BOARDING SCHOOL ON THE MOON! 

There was a moment of silence before the three brothers started laughing. 

Bowser sighed. 

He knew he wouldn't send them to boarding school, and they knew he wouldn't send them to boarding school, but at least they stopped fighting and that was all he really wanted. 

Bowser got up and looked in the mirror. After a month without Kamek's help, he looked and felt tired. He'd grown a beard, the same shade of red as his mane. Normally he'd shave it, but he felt too tired to even try to. 

He put on a white dress shirt with french cuffs and a spread collar, silver cufflinks shaped like his logo, a navy blazer with gold buttons with his logo on them , Khaki colored dress pants, white socks, brown leather dress shoes, a red silk tie in a half windsor knot, a gold pocket watch, and a forest green shell with white spikes.

Normally he'd just wear a shell and some spiked wristbands, but he had a conference in two days, so he had to get used to dressing up. 

He didn't mind the clothes, in fact they felt quite good, but in his mind he wasn't the type of guy who would wear them. Or wear a beard, or do a lot of things for that matter. 

He looked at his watch. 

Bowser: Three hours till Mario's brother gets here. I hope he lasts longer than the last one.

The king muttered to himself. 

Somewhere in the skies near the coast of the Darklands an Air Goomba plane was preparing to make its final approach to Shadow City International Airport. 

Shyguy Stewardess: Sir, wake up, we're almost at our final destination. 

Luigi: Wuh huh? 

Luigi slowly got up. 

He'd been able to sleep through most of the flight, only waking once to go to the toilet, once to stretch, and once to eat his breakfast. His breakfast consisted of an omelet with fried mushrooms and fire flower, some somewhat stale bread, an assortment of overripe fruit native to the Mushroom kingdom, and some coffee, which he'd been told was a type popular in the Darklands, and was unfortunately the best part of the meal. While it had been a bit too dark for his taste, he still enjoyed it. 

The landing had been uneventful, some passengers had clapped, but that was nothing out of the ordinary.

The lesser known Mario brother thought of his situation as he made his way through the airport. He'd met Bowser only a few times in his life, and couldn't remember the last time they'd exchanged more than a few words. Even after Bowser's wife died a few years ago, he'd only sent him a short letter offering his condolences, and never gotten a reply. And now he was on his way to babysit the man's children. 

He giggled nervously. 

The only time he'd babysat anything was his neighbor's Yoshi, and even that almost went wrong. 

He made his way to Darklands Customs and Border Protection.

Koopa Woman: Passport? 

Luigi showed his passport

Koopa Woman: Business or Pleasure?

Luigi: Business

Koopa Woman: Staying long? 

Luigi: I hope not! 

Koopa Woman: Haven't heard that in a while. 

Luigi chuckled nervously

Koopa Woman: Luigi … Mario? Huh, same last name as Mario Mario. 

Luigi: He's my brother

He smiled proudly. 

The koopa burst into laughter

Koopa Woman: Yeah right! And I'm the queen of the Darklands! 

She regained her composure

Koopa Woman: Regardless everything checks out. Welcome to the Darklands mister Mario. 

The man in green finished going through security, got his luggage, and walked outside, somewhat disheartened by what happened at customs. 

Shyguy Driver: Linguine Mario? Lugini Mario? I'm here for a Loogy Mario! 

Luigi: It's Luigi. 

Shyguy Driver: Can I see your passport ? 

The shyguy looked at it briefly 

Shyguy Driver: Looks good. Ok, get in the car. 

Luigi nodded, and got in the car. 

Shyguy Driver: Lets hope you don't end like the last ones. 

He muttered to himself. 

Time is a funny thing. Seconds can feel like minutes, minutes can feel like hours, hours can feel like days, and days can feel like years. Or in the case of one unfortunate King Bowser, ruler of the Darklands. Hours can feel like Centuries. 

Bowser looked at his watch. 

Bowser: 3 minutes till he's here. 

His children were all waiting in front of the door. 

He'd told them that he'd send them to the moon if they what they did to the last people that babysat them.

Not that it mattered, he was too tired to do anything, let alone punish them if they did what he feared they were going to do to Mario's brother . 

The doorbell rang.

Teenage Female Koopa: Ready! 

A security guard opened the door remotely

Oldest Teenage Male Koopa: Aim! 

The door opened

Second Oldest Teenage Male Koopa: FIRE! 

Bowser: NO! 

Bowser reacted too late. In unison the Koopalings blew scarlet balls of fire at their unfortunate target. 

Iggy: That was number 39! 

The crimson firestorm which wrapped around the figure in the doorway, gave way to emerald and viridian flames, behind which were intense eyes which seemed to burn with lime green fire. 

The mix of red and green fire dissipated as the man dressed in green dusted himself off. 

As he looked around the room, his composure shifted from intense anger to an equally intense nervousness

Luigi: Hello… I'm…

Bowser: The Nanny. 

[oh-no-my-hand-slipped]

I’ve been playing a lot of Super Mario Galaxy lately, and there’s a mechanic in a certain galaxy where, if you land in the water, you lose health due to how cold it is. But, even if he regained all his health, I’m sure the frigid temperatures would soon catch up with him.

That’s a very long way of saying - here’s a small, self-indulgent drabble! Though I absolutely love doing commissions, it’s nice to write something of my own accord every now and again. :)

*****************************

Mario had been gone for a few days. Usually, this wouldn’t be a reason for concern — after all, inter-galaxy travel took time.

But Luigi’s brotherly senses were tingling. Or, maybe it was just indigestion. Whatever the case, though, he had a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach that even anti-acids couldn’t solve. As many “bad feelings” as he had, this one seemed different. Like something he should listen to.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Rosalina had said, trying to placate him. “This particular mission may just need more time. Your brother wouldn’t want you to risk your life simply to ease your worry. But, if he doesn’t return in a few days, I’ll send both Lumas and Toads to guide him to a safe re-entry into our galaxy.”

Luigi couldn’t wait that long. There was definitely something wrong, he could feel it. He gathered up a few Toads that were wiling away the hours on the starship, hoping to find some semblance of a search party. But, as they often did, the Toads became distracted, and soon Luigi only had the scholarly blue Toad left. Luckily, they were more helpful than twenty of their fellow Toads.

“I remember,” they said, adjusting their glasses, “that his next stop was the FreezeFlame galaxy — one of the harshest in the universe. Especially its tundra.”

With this in mind, Luigi set off with the Toad in tow. Their knowledge of the starship allowed him to choose the route to the Freezeflame galaxy with little trouble and a starbit bribe for the guard Lumas.

Soon, the pair were shooting into space, with no knowledge what lay ahead of them.

Only now, in the frigid cold wearing nothing but his overalls, Luigi wondered if he made the right decision.

But he still had searched the frozen landscape, hands rubbing together and teeth chattering. Luigi was lucky he had Toad with him, who showed him the routed that had previously been discovered on Toad expeditions.

And they were even more lucky that they didn’t have to search for long.

“Mario?!”

A heap of red and blue floated on a nearby iceberg, unmoving. Luigi leapt from ice to drift to ice drift, trying not to slide into the frigid water as he got closer to his brother.

“Mario! It’s-a me, Luigi! I have come to rescue you!”

Despite himself, Luigi beamed. That felt good to say.

The figure shifted a little, and Mario’s flushed, round face peeked out from his cap.

“B-Bro…?” he croaked.

Luigi put his jumping ability to good use, as he bounded onto Mario’s iceberg in record time. He landed on his knees, sliding into an embrace with his brother.

“I am-a so glad to see you! I thought…I mean, I didn’t think…you…I…”

“It’s-a alright, L-Luigi, I’m here,” Mario said, rubbing Luigi’s back. “I - snf! - just got-a s-stuck on this iceberg. I can’t jump as f-f-far as you can…”

“Why didn’t-a you just swim back?”

Mario stretched out his arms. A thin layer of frost covered every inch of fabric, making the sleeves of his shirt sag.

“I t-t-tried. I c-can’t-a stay in there that-a long before…I…”

Mario’s mustache quivered, and his red nostrils flared. He patted his pockets, finally retrieving a handkerchief that was frozen solid. Luigi took out his own, green with yellow stars, and held it out to him.

“Th-Thank…wahhah-!”

He buried his nose into it.

“WAH’CHOOOOO!”

The mountains rumbled in the distance. Luigi got on one knee.

“C’mere, I’ll-a take you back to the starship.”

Luigi put his hands behind him, and Mario, with a sniffle, climbed onto his back, laying his head on Luigi’s shoulder. Despite the extra weight, he still managed to traverse the trail of icebergs with little trouble.

After reuniting with the dumbfounded Toad, they traveled back to the starship with a star they had brought along with them. Even after escaping the dismal galaxy, every inch of Mario’s body shivered.

“Are you okay, bro?” Luigi asked, keeping his brother steady as they soared through the stars.

“I’m-a little - snf! - c-cold, that’s-a all.”

Mario barely kept his footing as they landed in Rosalina’s bedroom. His face wasn’t nearly as red, but beneath the windburn was a weak paleness. Luigi felt Mario’s forehead as an Advisor Luma went to go tell their princess of their return.

“Marone! You-a feel like a hot plate of spaghetti!”

“I f-f-feel more-a like a p-panna cotta.”

Luigi took a blanket from Rosalina’s bed and draped it over his shivering brother’s shoulders.

“Let’s-a get you to bed, bro.”

“B-But Rosalina -”

“Rosalina can wait.”

Mario looked down, closing the blanket tighter around himself.

“I-I mean,” Luigi stammered, “I’m-a sure she won’t mind if-a you rest first.”

Mario nodded, his great mustache suddenly quivering. Luigi bent down, trying to look him in the eye.

“Mario?”

Mario covered his face with his gloved hands, turning away. His shoulders began to shudder. Luigi quickly took of his hat, squeezing it in his hands.

“N-No, I - don’t-a cry, bro! I didn’t mean to…I mean, Rosalina didn’t-a want to send a search party for you, and if I didn’t find you, I don’t-a know what would’ve happened! Oh, Mario, please don’t-a cry, I’m sorry…”

“W-What-a was I th-th-thinking?”

Mario buried his face in Luigi’s handkerchief, which was still in his pocket.

“I should-a have-a kn-known it was too f-far to j-jump…it n-never would have-a happened if I…hic! A-And you-a were s-so worried…”

Mario sniffled, then blew his nose with a loud honk. Luigi hadn’t seen him cry like this since they were kids. Usually he cried like their Papa, with only a small quiver of his mustache and a shiny look in their eyes.

Seeing him like this broke Luigi’s heart.

He embraced him from behind, running a hand through his hair.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s-a okay, bro. I’ve-a gotten stuck in plenty of places, remember? And you always saved me, right? It’s-a only fair I save you for a change.”

“I-I sh-sh-should have-a…hic-!…known b-better.”

“Just-a because you are the big brother doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes. Besides, if-a you would have stayed there much longer, you-a would have frozen into a Mario-sicle!”

Through his tears, Mario laughed. It was a weak chuckle, but it was enough for his sobs to partly subside. Luigi gave his brother one last squeeze before standing up again.

“Let’s-a get you to bed. It’s-a in the study, right?”

Mario nodded, shifting from one foot to the other.

“L-Luigi…?”

“Yeah, bro?”

Mario rubbed a finger under his nose.

“I kn-know it isn’t that far away, b-but…I don’t know if I…”

Luigi lifted his hand. “Say no more, bro.”

Luigi lifted Mario onto his back again, blanket and all. It wasn’t long after they made their way out of Rosalina’s bedroom that Rosalina herself hurried towards them with her entourage of Lumas.

“Luigi-!”

Luigi gave the princess a glare that not only stopped her in her tracks, but her advising Lumas as well. Without a word, he turned away and walked toward the study.

He would talk to her later. Right now, he had a brother to take care of.

[thequeenopower]

Side Missions ; Dream

3 wagu steaks? Who the hell doordashes 3 wagu steaks?

Well its $20 in my pocket so, why the hell not?

I arrive at the restaurant and wait about 15 minutes since I got there a little early. Once I got the food I headed to the house, which was very far away and in the middle of nowhere. The driveway to the house was long and dropped you off in front of a beautiful 1-story house. Knocking on the door with the bag in my hand, a man with dirty blond hair opened up the door.

"Great! You're here, could you settle a debate between me and my friends?" He asked with a smile, taking the bag from me and opening the door a little wider.

"We're not going to kill you, we promise. It's just that we need a fourth person's opinion on the playback of this race." A brunette said from behind him.

Oh what the hell? It's not like if I did die I'd be leaving anything behind.

I mean I'm a struggling college student whose family lives thousands of miles away. I only have one friend at school and we almost never see each other. I barely make ends meet so if I die by the hands of a couple attractive people, so be it.

"Sure, why not." I walk in and am greeted by a cat and another brunette man.

"I'm Clay by the way, he's Nick and that one's George." George waves from the couch as Nick plops onto it, motioning for me to come over and watch the play-by-play.

"Do you guys want anything with your steaks?" Clay asks from the kitchen which gets George up and moving towards him.

"Okay so, I was placed first place automatically by the game, but Clay swears he was in front of me." Nick starts the video and it tracks the Mario character.

It switches between Mario, which was Nick's character, Princess Peach, which was George's, and Toad, which was Clay's. The cat jumped on top of me just as Mario hit Toad with a shell. Clay must've gotten mad and tried to steer Nick off course because just like that, Clay and Nick were tied again.

"Watch! Watch closely!" Nick practically screamed in my ear, shaking his finger at the screen.

By this time, George and Clay sat down on the couch, Clay sitting next to me and George sitting on the other side of Nick. It was at this moment that everything felt surreal as Clay and Nick argued when Mario and Toad passed the finished line at the same time, though I will say Mario was a pixel ahead of Toad.

"So, who do you think won?" Nick cut me from my thoughts.

"Uh, you?" Nick fist-pumped the air as Clay huffed from beside me, taking the cat from me as it seemed I lost my privilege to touch her.

"Would you like some cake, sorry we never got your name."

"It's y/n. And sure, I'll take a slice." He nods and I follow him to the kitchen where he cuts me a slice and then prepares his steak.

"I'll just get going." I draw out as I slowly make my way towards the front door.

"Are you sure? You can stay and eat your cake, maybe play a round or two on the switch." I debated in my head whether or not I should stay.

~~~~~

The night grew darker as we started another round.

"NO, STOP Y/N!!" George screeches as I hit him with two green shells, one after the other.

Clay cheered me on as I finished the game in first place. Nick huffed and threw his remote down onto the table along with George.

"I better get going you guys, thanks for letting me play." They begged me to stay a little longer but gave up as I put my jacket and shoes on.

Clay walked me out and stayed behind me the entire time, not stopping until we got to my car.

"This was fun, maybe we could do it again sometime?" His tone was hopeful.

"I'd like that." He smiled and handed me his phone to put my number in.

"I'll call you soon." He leaned into my car through the open window as I put it into reverse.

"I'll be waiting."

God this is shitty huh? i just wanted to make something. but eh who cares. this was rushed so I'm sorry for the shitty writing, I'm just now getting back into it. hope you have a good day or night where ever you are <3